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cricketnationrise · 4 months

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Congratulations on 500!!! 🎉🎉 Extremely well deserved!

How about Zahra, 9:37pm, somewhere in England (I leave where exactly entirely up you)?

I'm on ao3 as hwaelweg 💙

for you my lovely, I have a lil date night moment for Zahra and Shaan. hope you love it, and thanks for being AMAZING and screaming about books with me 💜🦗

want your own ficlet? my followers can submit prompts based on these guidelines through January 31, 2024

❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙

9:37pm, london

Zahra looks around from her perch at the bar. The pub is all dark wood and the smell of decades of smoke sunk into the furniture. It’s the most stereotypical English pub she could ever have pictured, and she’d never admit it out loud, but she fucking loves it. There’s classic rock playing quietly over the speakers, often drowned out by the laughter of the group of students in one corner. A pair of old men, who look like they might be part of the architecture, are putting away more Guinness than she’s ever seen in one sitting. Someone’s playing darts near the back, for fuck’s sake.

She’d love the place even more if her goddamn fianceé was here with her, but she of all people understands an unconventional working schedule. Especially when the Claremont-Diaz family is even tangentially involved. If she had a nickel for everytime she dismissed that little annoying popup in Outlook that says “Send during normal working hours instead?” she’d be set for life.

“Another round, dear?”

“I—” A buzz from her phone interrupts and she glances at it, heart giving an excited little wriggle when she sees Shaan’s name pop up. (Well actually he’s saved as “Shawn S” in her phone—a preventative measure against overly-curious June, never-me-a-boundary-he-didn’t-try-to-cross Alex, and too-smart-for-her-own-good Nora. She’ll change it once Ellen’s second term ends and she doesn’t have to interact with those assholes in person on a regular basis. (Shaan had laughed so hard he cried when he found out—Zahra had hit him with a pillow.))

5 minutes. See you soon, love.

>move that perfect ass srivastava >i miss you and stuff

“Sorry about that,” she says to the bartender, a no-nonsense older woman. She runs the pub with kindness hiding an iron fist and Zahra liked her from the moment she sat down. “I will take another round, and can I also get a whiskey ginger?”

“Jack Daniels okay?”

“Yeah, that’s perfect.”

Another burst of screaming laughter covers the tinkle of the bell above the door, but the chilly gust of air at her back makes Zahra turn around. The smile that stretches her mouth at the sight of Shann is soft, loving, and completely involuntary. Thank fucking god Alex isn’t here right now. He’d never let her hear the end of how sappy she looks right now. (Alex once tried to high-five her for locking down that suave motherfucker and Zahra had given him a look that made him hide behind Henry.)

“Everything sorted then?” she asks, tipping her face up to meet Shaan’s. He kisses her quickly and sits on the stool next to her.

“Yeah. I finally got a hold of Gavin so that Alex can “sneak out” to the V&A with Henry tonight.”

“Thank god. Now I won’t have to listen to him freak out about the logistics of proposing anymore.”

Shaan just raises an eyebrow as he sips his drink. “He’ll just bother you about wedding details instead.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me.”

“I am sorry I kept you waiting tonight.”

Zahra tips her head onto Shaan’s shoulder. “I’ve done it to you enough times. I get it.”

Shaan slings the hand not holding his glass around her waist. Zahra can feel the warmth of him even through their layers of clothing and slumps a little further into his space, utterly trusting him to keep them both upright. They stay like that for a while, not talking, just basking in the fact that they are together and free of their charges for the night. So often they are only in the same country because of some international policy issue. Zahra lets herself sink into the moment, reveling in the rare chance to just sit quietly at a bar with the man she loves.

“This is a good spot. Cozy. Quaint,” she eventually says, gesturing vaguely at their surroundings.

“I’m glad you think so. It’s one of my favorite pubs in London.” He hesitates, eyes distant, then drops his voice and continues. “Arthur and Catherine used to sneak out and come here on dates, actually.”

“Oh?” Zahra sits up so she can look at him properly. He doesn’t talk about the time he was Arthur’s equerry that often, and she doesn’t want to miss anything. From what he has said, she can tell it was a similar relationship to the one she has with Ellen. Close friendship, fierce protectiveness, and a hold-nothing-back, bantering sense of humor—closer to family than employee and employer.

“They’d put on casual clothes and ballcaps and make a break for it when her mother got particularly overbearing. I followed discreetly—”

“Of course.”

“To make sure they had a back up plan. And then once Catherine got pregnant, they stopped pretending they didn’t know I was there and invited me to join them. The three of us spent many a late night here, just talking.”

“Sounds great.”

“It was. I—I miss him a lot. But it’s been a pleasure to watch Henry grow into himself. He’s more like Arthur than even he knows.”

He falls silent again, and Zahra smiles at the soft look on his face. He really is disgustingly handsome, people should be absurdly jealous of her life. She kisses the side of his neck, unable—unwilling—to hold in her affection any longer.

“Take me home?” she asks. “I want to not be wearing clothes with a zipper any more.”

“I’d be delighted, Ms. Bankston.”

#cricket writes #ficlet fest 500 #rwrb #zahra bankston #shaan srivastava #otp: weaponized competence #thoughtsofthegirlwiththecurl #also some Arthur feels snuck in there #just crept in while I was looking the other way #whoops

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minothtime · 1 year

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Xenoblade 3 Future Redeemed lore recap (obviously, spoilers ahead) but it's all just what I remember:

Lucky Seven contains what amounts to souls, most likely from the XC2 cast, and Shulk's Replica Monado presumably contains XC1's cast's due to both being forged with Origin metal (implied for the R. Monado)

What we knew as XC1 Alvis, a.k.a. Ontos, split into two: a half being a powerful, god-like machine (Alpha), and the other half being compassionate, amicable and having Alvis' memories and feelings, along with future visions (A).

Ontos was the intermediary between Logos and Pneuma in the Trinity Processor; where Logos presented as a male and Pneuma as a female, Ontos was neither, both, the middle, etc.

Some people were not assimilated into Origin for unknown reasons, though it's presumably because they were needed for events to happen.

Origin's architecture is based on Ontos' core.

Speaking about cores, Ontos (or A) remains watching over the world, Logos is heavily implied to be embedded in N's sword and Pneuma is straight up shown in Matthew's metal fists. Whatever that means.

Alpha's intention was to creat a world akin to that of Klaus', and for that he needed the people of the City as "fuel".

SPEAKING OF KLAUS' WORLD!!!! Apart from the apparent social unrest due to some human rights trouble (the "Saviourite Act" pretended to protect them), the main city seems to be divided in 13 districts (one of them called Minos, with a Dmitri Yuriev as a political figure). There also had been shuttle launches: the Radamanthus (XC2's First Low Orbit Station) can be seen, and the Terrestrial Evacuation Project aka Exodus had launched at least eight motherships to ferry out people. The eighth one, called Icarus, was intended to transport 480k people to "Eta Carinae, in the Carina-Sagittarius Arm in the Milky Way". So far there were 3M people shipped out, with plans to take out up to 10M in a new model (Philadelphia).

Shulk and Rex bent the literal rules of the world so Glimmer and Nikola (their children!!!!) could actually live their lives by using their own life force or whatever

N never wanted to kill Ghondor, but he had to do it and accept it because Ghondor asked for it.

The worlds did end up fusing through Origin properly! Everyone is fine and happy :D

Riku is one of Riki's eleven children, and was a disciple of Melia (his masterpon). How he's still alive..... is still left unexplained. I assume it's fuckery on Melia and A's side.

Both Pyra and Mythra are theoretically not connected to Pneuma's core itself anymore, as per the ending of XC2, and we do see Pneuma's true core without them nearby. Glimmer's core is not Pneuma, it just has the shape to hammer in the connection.

It is left deliberately vague if Shulk and Fiona ever got married. Though it seems to be the case, as Rex calls Dunban his brother-in-law.

Still unknown where Matthew's surname comes from........ XC1's Vandham, perhaps?

Riku did help create the Ouroboros stone, which is basically Pneuma's role in XC3.

#xenoblade chronicles #xenoblade chronicles 3 #xbc3 spoilers #xc3 future redeemed #xc3 spoilers #LIKE I WAS CRYING SOBBING TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE AND THEY DECIDED TO INFODUMP ON ME.....#in THAT scene i couldn't pay attention to Matthew and Na'el all I could hear was the radio #insane game #holy shit #future redeemed

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byizoyas · 1 year

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AFTERNOON SUNGLOW kaveh x reader | academic friends -> drabble

when kaveh invited you to join him for studying a few days ago, you didn’t expect to end up surrounded by so many scholars.

the library was full; thank god you came early this morning and found a nice spot to study together. you were sitting on a bench, while kaveh was visibly uncomfortable on a wooden chair.

the fact he immediately let you sit on the comfy seat when you entered the area, confirmed what a good friend he was to you.

‘you okay ?’ you asked after seeing him letting out another long sigh. but no one could reproach it to him after he spent his last six hours sitting on the same position, working on the same exercise over and over again.

‘i’m not doing it right. and i feel like i’m not moving forward.’ he complained, but it felt more like he was scolding himself.

even thought he wouldn’t admit it, kaveh had an inferiority complex. perhaps it was because of his prodigy of a junior; or maybe he had always been like that.

to you, kaveh was the most brilliant architecture student. he always had innovative ideas, and worked hard to reach his goals. but he had difficulty finding a single good thing about himself.

he often told you about his idea and as much as you encouraged him; his sketches pretty much always ended up in the bin.

yeah; kaveh was always being too hard on himself. you barely saw his smile lately as he was stressed out by the upcoming exams.

‘kaveh.’ you called out for him. he hummed, but did not take his eyes off the multiple papers laying in front of him.

you put your hand on his, caressing it gently and calling out for him again. he looked up, and you finally got to stare into his red eyes. dark circles under his eyes did not take any of his beautify away.

‘you are enough. you are doing great, stop pushing yourself so much will you.’ the warm smile on your lips seemed to touch his heart when his face lightened.

‘thank you y/n.’

you didn’t add anything, neither did he, focusing back on his work. but you couldn’t focus on yours. you were staring at him. that man was either blind or really immersed in his own world because he didn’t notice how intensely your eyes were looking at him.

perhaps this is the moment you realized yourself that the way you love him, was nothing like friendship. of course, you still considered him such, and you would always consider him a friend.

but there was something else; you needed something more. and the butterflies in your stomach as you thought about walking back home together and inviting him to sleep over were confirming it.

⸻

‘y/n…’ a gentle voice kept on repeating softly, waking you up from your dreams. you usually didn’t like to be disturbed when having a nice nap, but the sight of kaveh caressing your hand while gently squeezing it was too good for you to be annoyed.

you rubbed your eyes. obviously, you were in a deep sleep.

‘where are we ?’ was the first question you asked him. kaveh chuckled, ‘we’re still at the library. you worked so hard that you ended up sleeping all over your math books.’ he said while closing the said things and putting them in your backpack.

his stuff were already on his own bag and he obviously chose to end the study session here. other students were still working around, but they were less numerous than earlier.

you got up while kaveh was kindly gathering your belongings together. these acts of service were so like him. you’ve known him for a moment now and he’s always been so nice to you. and kaveh was nice to everyone, but you felt something special between you, as if you’ve created a particular bond.

you followed him outside of the library and once you’ve stepped outside did you notice the sun was about to lay down.

the sky was mixed with pink and orange. golden hour it was called, and when kaveh turned back to you, his eyes closing and his lips curling up in a genuine smile, the sight was just gorgeous.

you were in love with him.

and the idea that he might not be in love with you, was really hard to handle.

‘what are you waiting for ? let’s go home.’ he said taking your hand to make you walk behind him. he was still holding your bag with his.

you kept on walking for a few twenty minutes, while talking about lots of things. your laugh was everything to him, that’s why he liked to make you, again and again.

after a moment you passed by a groceries store, which kaveh didn’t resist buying a few things and the two of you ended up with so many candies in your hands.

‘wait !’ you said, walking towards a group of children who were not far, and staring hard at your buying. you handed out a few lollipops to them, making their eyes full of sparkles.

kaveh observed from behind. he did not say anything on the moment, letting you enjoy your moment with the kids from the zone. seeing you so generous with people you didn’t even know, whether they were kids or not, did melt his heart once more today.

after talking a bit with them, you finally joined him. behind him was the sea. it smelt like it too and the sight mixed to the scent; it felt like you were in a vacation with him.

he looked at you. the slight wind made your hair a bit messy so kaveh out the two bags he was carrying on the bench he had been sitting on while you were with the children.

‘thanks.’ you only found yourself able to say, gulping when seeing his face all serious.

he had out your strands of hair back behind your ears already but somehow he couldn’t bring himself to step back and take off his hands of you. he brought his second hand to your cheeks, caressing it gently.

‘y/n’ he whispered so close to your face that you could slightly feel his breath against your skin.

‘what are you doing ?’ you only said. these were the first words coming up to your mind while he was dangerously approaching your lips.

‘you don’t like it ?’ kaveh asked you. he always cared about your feelings more than his. he respected you, and would never do anything against your will. even a chaste kiss needed your approval.

you mentally scolded yourself after your reply, and even more after his. you didn’t think. you simply panicked. you’ve been craving this for the whole day and now he was offering you a sweet torture; a delicious moment of tension under the afternoon sunglow. it was as if he read your mind.

‘i don’t want you to stop.’

‘but you don’t like it.’

‘fuck! kaveh, don’t make me say it.’

he giggled to your response as if it was exactly what he was searching with his actions. he slipped his hand under your chin, locking it in between two of his fingers, making you look up at him.

‘you’re gorgeous y/n’

he took your face between his two hands and kissed you all of a sudden. as if he couldn’t contain himself anymore. his tongue made its way into your mouth; flirting sensually with yours.

kisses sounds was all you two could hear. it was too good. feeling his lips pressed against yours as if you were the only two people left in the world. and the feeling that everything could burn around and he would never let go of your lips and your embrace was a magnificent one.

kaveh truly made you feel special in lots of ways. and he was making you feel like no one else before; as if he was made for you and you were made for him.

#byizoyas.#✦. . . gender neutral #֎. . .fluff/comfort #KAVEH #kaveh x y/n #kaveh x reader #kaveh x you #kaveh fluff #kaveh drabbles #genshin x y/n #genshin x reader #genshin x you #genshin fluff #genshin drabbles #genshin impact fluff

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bside-cassette · 7 months

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This is both a love letter and a retelling of @fakecrfan 's Constructor/Architect story, but set in my own superhero universe. She has a specific identity in this, as unfortunately, you can't really have the reader *be* the main character in a visual format, but I hope that's okay with you :)

-----------------------------------

My name is Na Su-Yung. Two years ago, I thought I was a normal person. Another mortal. Another drop in the ocean, looking up to the clouds. To the gods living amongst us. Until I found out that I'm nothing like the ocean around me. I was different. I was an Anomaly.

I was just a college kid in Cosmopolis, another normal human who was awestruck every time I saw The Guardsman zoom across the city, or see a news report of Nitrous' crime-fighting shenanigans in Sunset City, all the way on the other side of the U.S. Another fragile human being, merely made of flesh and bone and nothing else, that cheered each time The Vanguard came together to save the world.

When an attack on Cosmopolis by the villain Sergeant Steel destroyed the foundations of my apartment and others in my neighborhood, I thought I was gonna lose everything. That I was gonna die. I just accepted my fate as the floor began crumbling beneath me. To my surprise, however, it seemed that the entire building was frozen in time. I stopped it from falling. I gave other residents enough time to escape to a safer area. I was a hero, even if no one, not even I, knew what I had done.

I spent time exploring my abilities in my free time between lectures. I don't know why, but it took me months, nearly a year, to be able to control the same amount as I did when I first gained my powers. So I started small. I floated pebbles between my hands, then on a single hand, then I was able to attract them to my hands from a few meters away. For the first time in my 21 years of life, I didn't feel weak, or pathetic, or forgotten. For the first time, I felt like I could be more than myself. And so I did.

I'd go to places in Cosmopolis where Guardsman had recently done battle against one of his rogues. I'd studied architectural engineering thoroughly before going on my first outing, so I was able to reconstruct a lot of the buildings in a few weeks. Just the broad strokes, though. I couldn't get the electrical or water systems down, so I just left a lot of the buildings with hollow walls to let the actual electricians and plumbers do their work.

Still, no one gave a shit about me. I was just some rando in a washed-out CSU hoodie and sweatpants.

I eventually realized that I would probably be able to work better if I had the blueprints for the buildings. Just walking up to wherever they keep them and asking for them probably wouldn't work well, so I planned. Well, "planned" is glorifying it. I did the first thing that popped in my head: make a costume to get attention. And so I did.

I was never the artsy type, so I just bought a wetsuit and mask online. But it worked. After the metas had their fill of fighting, I'd arrive on the scene and start working. The bigger news reporters would keep their focus on Guardsman or Harddrive or whoever did the day-saving, but the smaller news organizations turned their focus to me. Knowledge of my presence was slowly increased, especially online. People on Reddit and Tumblr took to calling me either The Constructor or The Architect. I took up the latter.

One day, when even the larger news networks in Cosmopolis had turned their attention onto me, someone came up to me. She told me her name was Sandy and that she had a proposition. She'd be my manager, managing any relations or exchanges I don't have the time to deal with, and helping me with marketability. I took her up on her offer. She made me a new suit, talked to the city to get blueprints, and whatever else. It's been a while, I've forgotten a lot of what we did.

Hero teams contracted me to restore their headquarters, standalone heroes and vigilantes needed help with rebuilding their bases, cities wanted cheap labor. I did it all. I finally felt like I was contributing to society. That I mattered. I was finally told that I mattered. Until the day I chose to do what I knew was right.

Cosmopolis, despite what outsiders think it is, is just like any other city. One side of the city is covered in skyscrapers, the other in slums. Struggling people who can't escape their situations, whether that be out of discrimination, mental disabilities, mental illnesses, addiction, criminal affiliation, they all live with constant strife.

The worst part of it all, however, is that I'm just like everyone else. Every time I passed one on the street or from inside a cab, I looked away. Seeing them suffer under the city's hand tore out my soul. It didn't matter that my reasoning was different from those who averted their eyes out of spite or disgust, I still looked the other direction. I refused to be like them. To kick them while they're already down. So I started building them up, literally.

I'd scour throughout the city, look through sites listing run-down neighborhoods or buildings, and I'd go there. I'd tear them down and build them back up. I gave people places to stay, where they wouldn't go cold or without a bed for the night. I gave them the kindness that might help them stop simply surviving, and finally begin living.

Then the comments came. Middle and upper class began shouting their complaints online and in my face, whether personally or through a reporter. They hated seeing people, who they deemed "undesirable," getting any help. Giving some cash was already too much for them to handle, so I can see why they saw this in such a bad light. Why their hateful eyes had seen this as a sin.

I went to interviews and I kept trying to get my viewpoint out there. No one listened. No one cared. All they saw was filth getting help by more filth.

So I made shelters around the city in places no one would notice. Rooves out of land in the parks, more empathetic architecture. I removed the spikes underneath bridges that prevent people from getting shelter from the rain and made the benches softer for those who had no beds. But still, no one gave a shit. The city made laws against how much anyone could alter it. I gave up on that.

I was sent death threats. I was told that I was helping the scum grow. That I was making Cosmopolis shine less. It didn't help that Guardsman was comatose from a battle for nearly 6 months at that point. It meant I had no one, not even the hero of heroes, the embodiment of infinite kindness to everyone, to back me up. I was alone. I stopped everything. I pushed away everyone. I fired Sandy, apologizing every second of it. I basically disappeared from the face of the Earth.

Then I heard that they were building a stadium on the Southeast Side. Displacing hundreds of people. Their hope being snuffed out by the fat cats on the top of the totem pole. I wouldn't stand by it. I came as fast as I could and I tore it all down. Every beam and panel and every square inch was just rubble when I was finished.

M.I.R.A. was contacted after the cops weren't able to get me to stand down. They trapped me in an Akonite cell in Pandora's Box. The media labeled me as "a false hero," "a fallen angel," "a wolf in sheep's clothing," "a villain." I just wanted to make things better. With The Vanguard keeping their eyes on the larger threats, and each individual member focusing on the broad strokes that are their respective cities, there were barely any who were looking out for the little guy. That's all I wanted to be. The one to look out for the everyman, the people on the streets. My people. I wanted to take care of my neighbors, friends, and loved ones. But I guess all people care about are themselves.

I eventually found that Akonite didn't work on my powers. How or why, I don't know. Maybe it was because it was just another mineral. Maybe it just didn't have an effect on me. Either way, I knew that this wouldn't stop me. I'm The Architect. I'm a hero. I won't let corruption, greed, and cruelty hinder that. I'll dissent from the indifference. From the apathy. From the fear of helping my city.

#constructorverse #constructor #writingpracticetime #superhero #au character #from someone elses universe #but in mine #streetlight comics

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platonic-qpr-selfshipping · 7 months

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hii! could i maybe get found family headcanons for zhongli as a father figure or xiao as a brother figure? (s/i is like the travelers companion/sidekick, if it matters)

thank you, you’re doing the gods work as an aro selfship writer <33

omgg I'm happy to write this! I also see Zhongli as a father figure and Xiao is one of my fav characters so this will be comforting to write about. and yes, the details about the s/i help a lot, actually! thank you so much for this request!

Zhongli as your father figure + Xiao as your brother figure

¡! s/i is Traveler's sidekick

Zhongli

He was thankful of how both Traveler and you were helping in Liyue, defeating enemies and helping citizens in daily life stuff, so he got used to the sight of your little group wandering around. If you agreed to accompany him when he asked, he'd smile and thank you for your asistence.

So be prepared. He's gonna drag you through several shops, infodump about history of cuisine and architecture and maybe even buy some toys made for kids that caught his attention because he "had never seen anything like that before". It usually gets to a point where Traveler leaves you alone with him and he ends up handing said toys to you as a gift.

Somehow, when he's walking around with you he feels the peace of having a young person beside him that will listen to his words and continue living with them in their heart. So he becomes even more interested in commenting random facts with you, as well as asking about your opinion and smile when his stories bring you memories of your own experiences.

That would make him a great listener. Even though Paimon would find it hard to believe that Zhongli would so attentively listen to someone talk about trivial matters, you found yourself going to him for advice over time. It just happened, and he prioritizes your wellbeing over anything else when putting his thoughts into words in his answers.

Taken how your friend seems to have had their life influenced by the war thousands of years ago, he may feel like he could have done better for you, that the person he was in the past doesn't deserve the admiration you seem to feel towards him in the present.

Therefore he would try his best to help you on your adventure with anything he can. The Traveler and Paimon will easily notice it: how he sometimes appears out of nowhere when you get yourselves into trouble, the invitations to dinner after some days out of the city, receiving some gifts and advice from him from time to time... Paimon will joke that they have your father's protection in this quest.

But Traveler needs to go to another nation no matter how nice your stay in Liyue could have been, and seeing you go leaves him with a bittersweet feeling. He's proud to see you'll visit new places as you wish to, but at the same time it's like an important presence in his days is going away. In any case, he'll say goodbye with a smile and a hug if you'd let him.

He would secretly give you some food for your trip to the next nation. Food from Liyue, of course, incluiding some of the new favorite meals you found while visiting restaurants with him. And if you need to ever write to him to continue receiving his advice and support, he'll be more than happy to answer.

Xiao

Your first meeting was probably sort of awkward. If you had told him back then that he would end up wanting to protect you as if you were family to him, he wouldn't had believed you. How fool of him.

You start to appear in his life rather often because of missions, requests and any other necessary affairs the Traveler lends you. At first it was because of the convenience to split up the work, but they slowly start to realise that Xiao's easier to convince when you are the one who goes to him for help.

Maybe it was in the way you talked, in the anecdotes you tried to mention during your silences together or the way you always waved goodbye only to make, once again, the effort to go up the mountain the day after. He started to seriously wonder and even worry about about your days, so he once offered to walk you to Liyue himself.

In the way back, your curiosity about the unknown nation got the best of you and Xiao started to answer some of your many questions. Teaching you the uses of some flowers and giving you instructions to get to specific mountains, especially the ones with the most snow during winter. When he realised what he was doing, he had already spoken much more than he had expected to. Not that it was a lot, but enough to surprise him.

So when you got busier with the Traveler and Paimon, he started to wonder when you'd go see him again. Just as if he expected your human presence and enjoyment to accompany him at least for part of the day, to show you his favorite tofu and hear about what you had been up to.

He decides to stay a bit closer to Liyue for some time, and one of those nights he finds you wandering around. The situation you were dealing with at the city could have started to feel overwhelming because of how importantant it was, and he doesn't think it twice before approaching you after seeing you in this state.

Were you hurt? Had something happened? Was what he last gave you not enough for the request you had to fulfill? He may sound a bit harsh when trying to know what he has to deal with, but it's just that he hates to see you hurting when he's right there and willing to stop it.

Would quietly listen to you if you ask him to do so. He'll feel fulfilled knowing that he is helping somehow. Because he feels as if you were part of him now, and your wellbeing is a new motivation for him to continue fighting for every day. If your adventure continues, then his must too as you are like siblings sharing this path in life.

#f/o community #self shipping #self ship community #self ship #f/o #selfship #f/o headcanons #parental f/o #father figure f/o #brother figure f/o #sibling f/o #genshin impact #zhongli #xiao

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inf0dump · 1 year

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My Creepypasta AU That I Like Too Much ft. A Block of Text

It's been four years. Four goddamn years since I came up with this concept. That concept being re-designing and re-writing the creepypasta stories that I grew up with, i.e., Eyeless Jack, Jeff the Killer, Ticci Toby, etc.

It is just now that I know what to do with it, but I don't know how or where to put it. It's difficult to figure all of this stuff out because I've changed so much of it. I've changed last names, personalities, aesthetics, so a name within the fandom doesn't mean the same thing anymore.

I feel like it doesn't belong on fanfiction websites, but it's not my own thing either. I just really hyper fixated on it for many years, taking bits and pieces of information from the first stories and logging it into my really long fanfiction. To the point where it doesn't feel like fanfiction anymore. Has that ever happened?

I don't want to change the names because I love these re-designed characters with these specific names, and I have a hard time with change. It's in my nature. And I also want to express that I love where it came from (but not who it came from, dear god). I love the place and most of the people that are in this fandom because creepypasta people from the late 2000's, early 2010's, are really cool to me.

And I'm very nervous to share what I've made because of experiences in the past with the things I'm really passionate about, because I will sometimes ask stupid questions. At least I've been told they're stupid questions. But I get really invested in the things I really like, and I want to know everything and interact with other people. I'm so desperate to interact with other people and through the things I enjoy is the only way I know how to.

This may be a lot of infodumping, but that's what I'm good at. And we're just getting started. I feel like I should take this blog in the direction of information spilling and infodumping. I changed my name to that and infodumping is practically my love language. I do it to my girlfriend and my family, and if I were to have a group of friends I would also do it to them if they would let me.

ANYWAY, this is about a completely different thing, you're probably not reading this to hear about my social struggles as an autistic (but I will happily infodump about any questions anyone has because autism is a hyper fixation as well), so let's move onto the creepypasta AU stuff, or the title: The Abyss.

The Abyss is a mix of genres. There's a horror aspect, there's comedy (or at least, what I think is funny), there's drama, there's young adult aspects, mature aspects, some romance, there's probably more. It started as an idea for a comic series, and then I realized, I can only draw people and animals. I can't draw backgrounds or architecture. Honestly, I can barely draw a full-bodied person. I've been drawing for a long time, and it's always been living things, so the comic idea was, WOOSH, out the window.

Then I realized that I have been writing fanfiction for seven years and have been told that I'm talented as a writer. Not much of a reader, but I was in grade school, and then I discovered Wattpad in fifth-sixth grade. I write a whole bunch. I wrote a twenty-something page first chapter for a Five Nights at Freddy's universe that I published on AO3, then a month or so later, deleted it because I believed I could do better.

I'm able to write non-fiction pretty effectively, especially when it's topics I enjoy. I wrote a high school essay in my sophomore year about villain archetypes in books and movies and which one was the most realistic to reality. I don't remember the conclusion. I finished the essay a week before it was to be submitted and so I had nothing to do in my English class except twiddle my thumbs.

For this creepypasta AU project in particular, those four years was spent doing various research on race, ethnicity, culture, disabilities, religion, mental health, demonology, and other subjects that would help to make this world and these characters more believable and representative of the world that we live in. Representation is an important factor to me.

I've had multiple experiences with wanting to see my own type of person in what I love, and I know that other people would want to see that too. Especially in creepypasta. A lot of creepypasta is white anime boys.

I was diagnosed with severe Tourette's Syndrome (TS) last year after suffering for a year a with saying things that I didn't mean, or doing things that I couldn't control, and it affected my mental health severely. I couldn't get out of bed and when you act like that, people laugh at you. Sure, it can be funny, some of the things I say or do, but there's a level of anxiety that unrealistically high. Especially when it comes to that Tourettic OCD side of things. When it tells me "You're going to say this" and I have to fight in order to keep words or movements down.

I confided myself in a re-design of Toby. Toby is the problematic Tourettic representation that I had at that point in time. And I hated that. It wasn't problematic for me in the sense that he would swear, or he would do something taboo in front of people. He was problematic for me in the sense that what he had wasn't Tourette's. It was speech impediment. At least, that's how I remember it, correct me if I'm wrong.

If you are a person, you want to be recognized as a person. There are people that are social anxious to the point that they don't want to be perceived, but you still need to treat them with respect. I've always been taught that people will respect you if you respect them. That's not always true, but it's a positive way to live. To think, 'I'm going to respect this person in whatever form their respect looks like.' That could be respecting their religion, their culture, their gender, their sexuality, their form of expression.

Some people may be wrong in the way that they want respect. They could hurt people; they do not respect another person or a group of people. But they deserve respect because they are a human being. If they aren't going to get respect from you, they will get respect from others, that's how it works. If you don't like a politician, don't respect them in the slightest, they are still going to get respect from other people. That's what I mean. You don't have to respect everyone; it is up to you and up to other people who deserves approval.

You don't have to like anyone. For example, the creator of Ticci Toby, Kastoway, does not have my respect. That is my opinion. They don't deserve my respect and support.

That's part of the reason that I re-designed and re-wrote in the first place. I don't like Kastoway. Toby was the first character that I re-designed. I designed him to be my own representation, and then he took over.

Toby has been renamed to: Tobias (Toby) Goldberg (It feels a little strange publishing that name for other people that's not my girlfriend to see). Toby is my personal favorite. Toby is fifteen (15) when the story starts, he has severe Tourette's Syndrome, severe ADHD, OCD, and is autistic. He's the type of autistic that really likes cats and everything to do with cats. Toby is also high-risk to be a pyromaniac, which is an impulse disorder, and he can't be formally diagnosed yet because he's not eighteen (18) years old.

Toby is incredibly tiny for his age (4'9) because of pregnancy complications, underweight because of medication, and he's Jewish-Italian-American. He lives in the Bronx borough of New York City, has a very thick Bronx accent, a mess of freckles, his Italian grandfather thick, too big to fit his face, tortoiseshell-colored glasses, and very thick, curly, shoulder-length red hair that kind of looks like a wolf-cut, but it sticks out all over the place.

I feel like I shouldn't spoil his backstory, but it's very sad and very triggering. Speaking of triggers, there's a whole lot in here because characters need to suffer, but you shouldn't. Take care of your mental health. Mental health is extremely important.

If anyone has any specific triggers I should now about, let me know. This story is both realistic horror and fantastical horror, which basically means there's the fun horror (fantastical horror) and the devastating horror (realistic horror).

If there's any questions about specific characters, or the question 'what atrocities have you done to my favorite character?' comes up, don't worry, just ask me. And if it's a character that I have never heard of, I will do research on the character and maybe your favorite will make an appearance.

Toby's and Cody's (X-Virus) re-designs are maybe the favorites that I have. But now, we move onto the plot of this whole thing. If you've been waiting for the plot, thank you for sticking around!

The plot of The Abyss is very vague, it's more the description of a place. I was originally going to commit to an episodic structure for the comic, but now, if I'm going to be posting this to AO3, then it absolutely has to have a chapter structure. But if I might be posting the chapters only to here, then I might go back to the episodic structure.

The Abyss is about a group, a main cast, of people, featuring Jeffrey, Tim, Brian, Ben, Cody, Toby, and Sally in Book One (five books in total) living in an alternate plane of existence called the Abyssal Plane, or the Abyss, which is ruled over by a demon that they called the Emperor. The Emperor is tall, faceless, and wears the skin of whatever would fool a person the most effectively.

Their job in the Abyss is to provide retribution to those that the Emperor feels deserves it. Retribution means death. Each person has their own style of carrying out their job when they go on missions. We follow each of these main characters throughout their lives and struggles in and outside of the Abyss, so I guess it's also like slice of life in a sense.

The issue I find that I stated before, is that I feel like I've changed the characters too much in order for it to still be considered fanfiction. I fear that no one will be able to recognize these characters, the only thing I have not changed is first name and some design choices. That's why I have labeled it an AU, an alternate universe.

And another thing, I still have some learning to do, especially when it comes to people of whom I do not share experience with. I've done research, but there's only so much research that you can do that is not talking to people of different cultures, different races, different ethnicities, and I am horrible with talking to people. I fake it till I make it.

If anybody has any details with their life that is outside of my experience, I would love to hear about it. I love learning about people, all kinds of people. Even if it's information that I need repeated to me, repetition is important.

Thanks for reading, I would appreciate constructive criticism, feedback, and interaction. This is my favorite thing to do: talk about what I'm passionate about. Please tell me what you're passionate about!

#creepypasta #alternate universe #fanfiction #writerscommunity #actually autistic #actually tourettic #special interest #about writing #character redesign #jeff the killer #eyeless jack #please help #ticci toby

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hyperfixatinglove · 2 years

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🎫 Here’s a gush pass, feel free to gush about whichever f/o you want, however much you want, then send this ask to 3 other selfshippers.

My lombax love needs some gushing!

Unfortunately when I try to gush about this alien cat all I can think of is; I love him so much oh my god I adore you

It's ridiculous and adorable how long I've liked him! I had crush on this guy at 6 yo! Fucking 6! It was dormant for literal years and one day just slammed back with force of sledgehammer! So really, my longest f/o isn't my Ushio, but this galaxy saving green eyed goofball of Lombax!

He's such goofball! Cracking jokes, smirking, impulsively smacking enemies with his wrench (I love him with the default wrench weapon just ugh iconic & badass)!! He also used to be jerk but coming to know his best pal Clank (whom I clearly don't talk enough he's my other robot friend f/o!) but he's more.. rounded later? Sweetheart yes, but he can be asshat when he wants! Mostly just absolute sweetie.

He's so busy saving galaxy how many times now? 4 times (not counting smaller things he's saved, like TV station full of ppl)? In newest game he's so accustomed to it! I wish he'd get some down time! Though he did have a line in newest game abt not saving universe for years.. So he did? Time to imagine DOMESTIC SUNSHINE AND RATCHET

Life with Ratchet would be so amazing honestly, travel around galaxies, even dimensions and see beautiful galaxies and observe the people, the technology, the architecture, the flowers.. So many possibilities! Go on these adventures with the galaxy on our shoulders, him easing my anxiety with jokes and toothy smiles, the downtime when we're done and just hang around his desert home planet in Veldin with Clank..

I have this cute idea of us gifting each other weaponry & Ratchet fine-tuning my own trusted weapon with force field or just extend it so I have easier time to hit things. I haven't figured out what Sunshine could do that neither of them can, but maybe it's in some form of creative thinking or artistic thing!

Speaking of all that I really should make major lore dump on Ratchet/Sunshine.. Or timeline, or fix it scenario..

He looks so dashing in new game!! I'm always picky about his armor (I hate how they made him start with the shitty 2016 game armor)!!

I need to update this meme with newest game armors lol

Never mind I only love this one:

I love being able to see his expressions and his eyes in his armors!

I just.. his design is so beautiful and being able to see individual furs in newest game is blessing but I'm sad for the animators who had to painstakingly do that.

I'm also very picky about his characterization (personally, my faves are 1, Crack in Time, Deadlocked & Rift Apart, funny how those are also my fav games expect the last lmao), I feel like he was boiled down in some games, it feels bit jarring. For example he wasn't shown to be impulsive for several years before Rift apart!

My favorite daydream is just nuzzling his fur! Yeah, Sunshine my s/i is also Lombax but man the warm fur on the nose, those beautiful green eyes mere inches away..

He's also hilariously lucky for surviving so many disasters!

I just truly love this lombax so much it's nice to be able to remember and reflect on that! ♥

#childhood crush #letters of love

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tanetlee · 1 year

Text

Annual Review Meeting - Performance Rating - Mediator and Gods

Krakow, a city whose self remained hidden. What they saw was not reality. The city that they thought they knew was a mere shadow of its true form. But how could the city reveal its secrets?

First, we told them to unlearn, forget, to be void.

Then, we asked them to listen, worship, accept the true knowledge.

The Self reveal[ed] itself [1]. Gods told the stories of the city. So, the people let the Gods tell them, for they had crafted intricate fairy tales for them. They let them impart their knowledge upon themselves. In [Krakow] there is certainly no such thing as a free lunch, and this was one land donation that came with a price [2]. Through the creation and refurbishing of [material knowledge though the encyclopedia], the donations [3] flowed abundantly to Mount Krakow. The Encyclopedia, in the last century, was a mine that was [...] open to the sky [4]. Just this year alone we add[ed] another 80 million, the equivalent of an entire Germany or a Turkey, and are on track to reach a possible 12 billion at the beginning of the next century [5]. We soldthe citizens stories about capitalism, internet, globalization, time, beauty, buildings, light, crafts, production, consumption, politics, justice, laws, chaos, hectic life, nature, fertility, wisdom, sun, moderation and culture. From holy Mount Krakow and its friends, the other holy mounds of Krakow, we connected hills of overseas. Hill, Nicholas [6]. Hill, Rosemary [6]. Hill, George Canning [6]. 39 Hill[s] [7].

We allowed Krakow to thrive. This machine, which shook Europe to its foundations, was in fact the precursor of the [...] revolution of the [21st] century [8]. From all around the world, scholar[s] wrote four thousand books [9].

I am struck by the unique qualities that each of the God possesses. As I stand among the Gods, I can feel the energy pulsing through the air. There is never yin without yang, never yang without yin, just as there is not [politics] without [economy] nor [Mr President] without [Mercury] [10]. A complex organism that thrives on the balance of its opposing forces, yet in perfect equilibrium. This year, religion and culture, [...], arose from different needs: religion from a metaphysical need, culture from material and intellectual needs [11]. The question was: Buddha or Wenchang Wang? The answer was: Buddha and Wenchang Wang.

Khonsu, Seth made you and the people come to work late a lot, you all were in a very great hurry [4]. I tell you, there are impatient men amongst you, men who are in too great a hurry [8].

Pinterest got upset easily. Architecturally, aesthetic relativism lead Ramsay to some interesting places [12]. But let Temperanence guide you in the future for you cannot forget that Gods move among men and men among Gods [13].

With you, Mercury, God of capitalism, Net, God of the internet, Yacatecuhtli, Master of globalization and Pinterest, Goddess of the aesthetics, the city has grown itself an appendix [14] where metropolis equals the world in the geography of advanced forms of capitalism [15]. And yet, amidst all the change, there are constants. The first garden was the cemetery, the first city the necropolis [16]. And even with the rise of metropolis, the home remained a central space, with all its complexities and contradictions. That was the work of Lord Shiva.

Each aspect of the city had its own fairy tale, its own chapter of the encyclopedia, woven by Khonsu, Lord Shiva, Mr President, Cernunnos and their colleagues. Lord Shiva, you have shown the people the concrete. With you, the erection of special buildings that collectively embody new cultural and political functions: temple, stadium, theater, guildhall, cathedral [17]. The universal space of the world and knowledge no longer takes one back to the island or the Eternal City, nor to the valley where milk and honey flow [18]. METROPOLIS - In the geography of advanced forms of capitalism, metropolis equals world [13]. In many ways, the dynamic ebbs and flows of the basketball court and the soccer field provide compelling models for these new spatial practices [19]. Nonetheless, car wash regulations var[ied] from city to city [20]. What did you do about that, Justicia? How [did] you sleep at night? And How [did] you walk with your head held high, Dear Mr. President ? [21] I can only imagine what the first lady has to say [21].

You were always there where the action [was] [15], you and Mercury. Urutengangana, too. H[is] glorious glitterand light didst all mens eyes amaze [22]. But pair up with Ra next year, let the people sleep, let them forget. In the city are the workshops of great dreams, for such are governments, constitutions, fame [23].

Good gods! We may not have all the answers, but you Gods will continue to guide them. The next year will be good. The next year, [...] bringing heat and light [24].

[1] Bhagavad Gita

[2] Sudjic, The Edifice Complex

[3] Levy, Lexikon of the Hispanic Baroque

[4] Hugo, Les Miserables

[5] West, Scale The Universal Laws of Growth

[6] Koolhaas, Elements of Architecture

[7] Rudolph, Taste and the Ancient Senses

[8] Marx, Collected Works

[9] Seneca, Complete Works

[10] Jullien, the Book of Beginnings

[11] Levy, Baroque and the Political Language of Formalism 1845 1945

[12] Mallgrave, Modern Architectural Theory

[13] Girard, The Scapegoat

[14] Lefebvre, Critique of Everyday Life

[15] Koolhaas, SMLXL

[16] Serres, Statues

[17] Mumford, The Culture of Cities

[18] Serres, Branches

[19] Mitchell, Me The Cyborg Self and the Networked City

[20] Zimring, Encyclopedia of Consumption and Waste

[21] Dear Mr. President, Indigo Girls, Pink

[22] Spenser, The Faerie Queene

[23] Alberti, The Family in Renaissance Florence

[24]Anzaldua, This Bridge We Call Home

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mis3rabl3m3lody · 2 years

Note

Tell us about Sofiya. ^^ please. What are her likes, her dislikes? What do she and Layton have in common?

ODJRJFHEDH THMKS SO MUCH FOR THE ASK!!!😭😭🙌 I'm glad folks still want to know about my OCs even though I rarely post about them hhhh💀

Sofiya, despite being an actual werewolf, can often be described as a rather plain person, as she finds comfort in the most mundane activities, such as reading and yoga. She likes practicing many different spiritual awareness exercises(aka meditation) that help her regulate her emotions and find balance within herself and her Wolf. Though she doesn't like being outside in the rain, Sofiya enjoys watching and listening to the rain from inside. She finds it an ethereal experience that can cleanse her mind from time to time. Besides her obvious devotion to God(which she may or not have changed or at least questioned after the Straub Lane debacle), Sofiya's other passions include music(she's most especially fond of choir, piano and violin), the arts(LOVES novels, films and theatrical productions, specifically of the romance/tragedy variety), and she positively geeks out over old Victorian architecture(she loves to feed her brain with knowledge of ancient buildings and the people who lived in them, also the Victorian era alone is something she finds interesting)

Sofiya absolutely HATES crowds and loud noises, makes her anxiety even worse and even more likely to unexpectedly transform. Any mention of her family or her hometown can also easily set her on edge. Her christianity is a touchy subject for her as well, as years worth of religious trauma had her questioning a lot of things regarding her beliefs and morals; though she still wants to believe in God, she'll never be able to erase her parents' abuse from her mind. But the thing Sofiya loathes most of all is being called a "beast", a "monster", a "demon" or anything of the like. Those are things she's s been called all of her life, and sometimes it becomes too much for her to bare. Once she and Hershel started dating, they kept their relationship private for some time, for Sofiya's own comfort. They only told certain people that Hershel absolutely trusted with the information, people that he knew wouldn't judge either of them. One of Sofiya's biggest fears is her partner being ostracized for dating a werewolf, being shunned and mocked by everyone around him, and possibly even worse. She couldn't bare the thought of her lover becoming an outcast and being labeled a "freak" like herself. Sofiya also fears of accidentally hurting the ones she loves, were she to ever lose control of her Wolf; she doesn't think she could live with herself were that to happen.

The main thing that Hershel and Sofiya have in common is the immense amount of trauma they endured throughout their lifetime. Though they didn't exactly share the same experiences, the two often confide in each other and can relate to each other's pain on some level. They both tend to be rather closed off from others emotionally and always put other's needs first. They're both very traditional altruistic lovers; Hershel always trying to be a true gentleman to his lady, while Sofiya wants to be a good, reliable girlfriend and service her partner in any way she can(she was raised with the inherently sexist belief that women should always service the man in a relationship). This often ends up with having "battles of politeness" as well as small arguments about what "traditional couples" should be. The two also share a love for the simpler things in life; beautiful autumn afternoons, a delicious warm cup of tea, a good book, a pleasant stroll through the park, etc. For these two, any peaceful, quiet moment in each other's presence makes for splendid memories. Once they find their eyes upon each others, it's feels as though all their troubles melt away in an instant. In those moments, they didn't care what other's thought about their relationship. Why should they? At the end of the day, they were both still people. They shouldn't have to worry about what everyone thought or said about them. They love each other, and that's all that mattered.

#aaaaa im so sorry about getting to this so late!!😭💀#it's been sitting in my drafts for so long and ive been meaning to finish it hhh #but it's finally done thmks so much for the ask i alwyas appreciate it!!🙌💞#again im really sorry for the late answer dhdvdvsbs💀💀😪#a gentleman full of love🤎🧩 hershel layton #the wolf of straub lane🐺✝️ sofiya nightingale #the gentleman and the wolf🎩❤🐺 hershel x sofiya #jeezus decide on a ship tag already misery-#miserable mailtime🌧📬 inbox asks

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lupically · 3 years

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#64B784 | XIAO.

genre | fluff

word count | 1437

warning | none

the karma that xiao was bound to was what he considered as his duty.

the senselessness and pain left from the god he used to fight for, alongside his once companions who have all either fallen into the depths of a spiraling madness or their final demise, one which he has been bound to for years and years, was part of his responsibility as an adeptus.

for someone as miserable as him, to exist is to suffer.

it was exactly that—that dutiful and lonely side of him—that made him deem all sympathy and sorrow an unnecessary part of life, especially when they were directed toward him.

but, no matter how many times he told you that, you never seemed to listen to him.

"i'm fine," xiao huffed out lowly when you sat him down on a chair.

"no, you are not fine!" you hissed through semi-gritted teeth as you rushed about and searched the inn's kitchen for bandages.

he watched as you fumbled around the room, looking for aids to tend to his battle wounds, which you saw have a mixture of black– and teal-colored aura wafting off of his battered skin. you were agitated in, as well as with, the process; xiao could all see, hear, and feel it. from the way the cabinets flew open in a frenzy, to the curses that adorned your once innocent tongue.

the demon mask still covered his face, but if you knew him well enough, which you did, you would know the expression he has on underneath—furrowed brows, pursed lips, sharp eyes, yet somehow expressionless still. he understood not one bit of your response to seeing him, not the shown panic nor the hidden tears.

to him, he needed neither and he deserved neither.

"[name], there is no reason for you to fret," xiao said calmly. "getting hurt is part of the job. there is no use for you to keep worrying about me like this."

"stop talking, xiao, i need to concentrate." you promptly ignored your friend as you grabbed a chair, pulled it before him, and sat down.

you took his hand in yours before placing it on your lap. concentrated on unrolling the bandages and wrapping them around xiao's forearm, which did not stop the demonic energy from spreading into the air, you tried not to let both the sorrow and the anger get to you; sorrow because he has to continuously get hurt like this, anger because he refuses to let you take care of him.

"you are fussing over nothing," xiao continued despite what you said.

you wanted to scoff, but you had anticipated his stubbornness (usually mistaken in the form of being straightforward) to argue back whenever you talked of showing him mortal kindness.

it would be strange of you to assume you could get the yaksha to shut up as you will him to. but, to be frank, and unbeknownst to you, if anybody could get xiao to stop talking those upsetting nonsense for once, there would only be you.

"this is hardly nothing, you are very hurt," you said.

"pain and suffering is–"

"–part of the duty of being a yaksha," you finished off for him just as you stick the bandage together. you did not let go of his hand when you finished, only you held it in your hands loosely and looked up at his demon mask. "i know that."

he did not move. he only looked at you behind the green mask. "then you know that as a yaksha, i need no sympathy or tears."

"i know that as well," you said. "but i'm sorry because i don't agree."

he heaved a soft sigh. "why must you make things difficult for me."

"what is difficult?" you asked then, slightly tightening your grip on his hand as you glanced down at your lap. you furrowed your brows; your hands were almost the same size, with his being only a tad bit bigger. "what about accepting kindness is so difficult for you?"

you never talked about it before. the fact that xiao seemed to have the eternal perception that he deserves nothing good because he constitutes the bane of all evil, to which you heavily disagreed with evidence that he was one of the people who kept liyue safe all these years despite not being fond of the place itself, as well as anybody living in it.

(well—exaggeration. he is fond of you, but he has yet to let you know that.)

it was a decision you regretted to not talk about his little to no self-worth with him earlier because if you could let him understand how he deserves so much more, you would have wanted to do that as early as possible. but you let it dragged on each time as you worried about the scars and blood scattered across his body.

"xiao, do you know what mortals do the best?"

that certainly took him by surprise. hundreds and hundreds of years on this earth and he could not tell you a single thing. was it the growth of civilization, or the booming marketplace, or the amazing architectures, or perhaps even the literary and artistic excellence? he did not know anybody enough to understand and find the question to your answer.

"we love, xiao," you said. "mortals love. that is the single thing we do best. everything else is just what comes with it."

it was only through love. everything was made out of love.

people grow to find a love of their own and create their own family; money goes round and round so sons and daughters can get a new toy and friends can eat street food together; houses are built to keep families warm and safe, houses are built to become filling homes of one or more persons; poetry and art have the image of a young lady and the nostalgia of a passed pet woven seamlessly in paintbrushes and ink.

everything humans do is out of love—for money, for power, for safety, for happiness, for others.

"it is the best thing we do," you whispered, "so forgive me if i have to worry about you from time to time. loving you is what i do best, xiao."

you were looking into his eyes now—well, the eyes of his demon mask, which, thank the archon that he still had it on. he needed it to hide the part of himself that was human, the part of him that was vulnerable, the part of him that was waiting for himself to fall into reckless abandonment and began to fall in love with you so fiercely that the demon aura spiraling off his skin would turn into the shade of red blush.

the unwavering sincerity, as well as gentle affection hidden beneath your eyes, the affection he never thought anyone would have for him—oh, how alarming they were for xiao to look into.

they made it so easy to believe that there was more than just a fraction of him that was capable of being human, that it wasn't just his body and his face that was mortal.

they made it so easy for him to feel treasured, and for him to love others, to love you.

"[name]..."

somehow he thought he ought to take his mask off. he thought he ought to reciprocate the way you were pouring your soul out for him. he reached his free hand up and carefully removed the demon mask off his face, showing you his softened eyes.

his heart beat inside his body; this is him revealing himself to you, the part of him that is human.

"you have my thanks," he whispered as he closed his eyes, his head tipping as if to bow. “for everything.”

(everything, but mostly for making him fall in love.)

you sucked in a shivered breath, surprised but glad that he was taking a step to accept your care. you leaned forward to him, bumping your forehead against his with a precious grin that showered down his entire world.

xiao opened his eyes to look closely at you, and he let himself breathe out a small smile as he lovingly (the fact lost on both him and you) examined your features.

the chain of karmic debt... how laughable. compared to the grip you have on his heart, which he doubted he would be struggling out of anytime sooner, compared to the blooming affection he holds for you—what is the archon, to the love of his life? what is god, to you?

nothing.

#genshin x reader #genshin imagines #genshin impact imagines #genshin x you #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x you #genshin impact #genshin xiao #genshin xiao x reader #xiao imagines #xiao x you #genshin impact xiao #genshin impact scenarios #genshin scenarios #genshin fanfic #genshin impact fanfiction #xiao scenarios #xiao fanfiction

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superhero--imagines · 3 years

Text

Part 12

Part 1 Here! / Part 2 Here! / Part 3 Here! / Part 4 Here! / Part 5 Here! / Part 6 Here! / Part 7 Here! / Part 8 Here! / Part 9 Here! / Part 10 Here! / Part 11 Here!

* You stare at the blank ceiling, the smooth unblemished surface like freshly fallen snow

* you should really put some nudie posters up there or something to lighten the mood a little.

* Light notes from the piano float around your room

* You sigh, so these are the facts as you know them:

* Edward is your best friend who has occasional bouts of brooding and flirtatious behavior.

* Bella is not albino, she has a lovely peach undertone, and a lovely grilled peach scent

* The entire coven has treated your attraction to this young lady’s blood like you got caught masturbating or wetting the bed or something

* “You don’t need to be embarrassed it’s a perfectly natural feeling.” Esme tells you while rubbing your shoulders

* “We’ve all been there” Rosalie reassures

* “Totally not a big deal, it happens to me everyday!” Jasper chimes in

* You wish sunlight hurt you so you could combust into flames on the spot

* The piano notes get louder, and you feel your mouth pinch into a frown.

* “Oh my god Edward! Read the room, I want brooding music!”

* Edward stops, up until then he had been playing a pretty cheerful Mozart piece

* You can tell he wants to ask why, you’ve been radiating joy non-stop since biology. But he decides against it

* “You really shouldn’t eat lying down.” He says as you sip blood while lying flat on your bed.

* “Okay dad.” You snort

* Edward starts to imagine what it would be like if you called him ‘daddy’

* All needy on top of him, your hands curled in fists against his chest, the breathy “daddy please” that leaves your mouth

* All of a sudden he’s ugly turned on

* “Ugh you’re no fun, I’m going to hang out with Rosalie”

* You leave the room and Edward has a total meltdown, is this what a kink is? Is he discovering a kink?!? At 100 years of age?!?!?!?

* Edward.exe is broken

* You don’t even make it to Rosalie’s room, you can smell them a mile away

* Broccoli, sugar and fat, and axe body spray. No peaches you realize with a sigh.

* They’ve only just barely rung the door bell when you open the door

* “Hey what are you guys doing here?”

* Jessica’s standing in front, looking pretty at ease, while Mike and Angela look equally uncomfortable.

* Makes sense, Jessica’s here all the time now either for homework or to watch TV.

* Mike and Angela haven’t been back since your sweet sixteen

* “How did you get down here so fast?”

* “I saw your car from upstairs” you say with a sheepish smile.

* You wish Alice would have given you a heads up, you weren’t planning on pretending to be human right now. Still you probably look raggedy enough right now in sweatpants and an oversized sweatshirt

* You can probably pull this sick thing off

* “We just wanted to check up on you, I heard from Mike and Angela you got sick during class.” And then in a more annoyed tone Jessica adds “And I guess you’re too sick to respond to all my texts and calls”

* Oh crap, where is your phone.

* You pat your pockets, and think when you saw it last

* “I left it in my locker” you smack your head. You told Edward to go grab your bag from class but you forgot your phone.

* “Hey don’t worry about it, I can get it for you tomorrow if you want.” Jessica rushes to your side and pats your arm. You shake your head

* “No I can get it myself, I’m fine I just ate something bad.” You mumble.

* You’re not missing school tomorrow. You would literally risk murder to smell Bella again.

* It’s not insatiable thirst like described in the books, more like a craving, like someone might have for nachos.

* It itches at you for a while, but if you just distract yourself long enough you can move on

* “Would you like to come in? I think Esme just baked cookies or scones or something.”

* Esme likes to bake for the smell and donate the food to the local shelter. That, or take it for her employees at her architectural firm in town.

* Firm is a loose word, she has maybe four employees, and they get one job a month, but it seems to make her happy.

* Angela and Mike give each other looks but Jessica perks up

* “Is she making those delicious earl grey scones again?” You sniff the air

* “I think she made some of that orange zest butter too”

* “Omg I am so happy you left your phone at school” Jessica giggles walking inside past you, you hear her greet Esme with a squeal

* “They really are good.” You tell them and your remaining human friends enter the house carefully

* “Soooo where is everyone?” Mike asks taking a look around your living room.

* “Ummm Rosalie’s in the garage, Alice is probably meditating on the roof, Emmett’s at swim practice, and Jasper’s probably at the barn.”

* “What about Edward?” Angela asks before Mike can ask about the barn

* Last you saw him he was playing the piano in your room, but it’s been a while since then

* “He’s probably in his room monologuing about the degradation of the American dream or something.”

* You lead them into the kitchen where Esme and Jessica are already deep in conversation about the wonder of her baking

* “-side is so light and fluffy, how do you get the tea flavor though”

* “Witchcraft.” Esme jokes, giving a full smile before putting another tray in the oven. Only Jessica laughs, the other two are too nervous to even sit down

* “Why don’t I teach you how when you come over next week.”

* Yeah you’re pretty sure Jessica is really only a fan of the “eating” and not of the “baking”

* You’re half surprised when she seems happy at the invitation.

* “Oh that sounds great, I can’t wait for it!” Jessica’s practically beaming

* Where’s Edward when you need him? You wonder what her motivations are.

* Jasper is not going to like this. He’s already irritated enough that he’s kicked out of his own house every Friday when Jessica comes over to watch arrested development

* Before you can say anything to Esme the conversation moves forward

* “Did you guys hear about that security guard that died in Mason county?”

* She’s just making small talk, you know that. But you and Esme instantly tense at the mention

* Carlisle had mentioned he thought there was a nomad wandering through, they were still far enough not to cause the coven immediate trouble, but anything that brought more attention to them was a disadvantage

* “My Dad says he heard from Chief Swan it was probably a wild animal attack” Mike mumbles over a bite of scone, you figured he would be the easiest to win over with food

* You hide a smile behind your hand, he really is like a golden retriever

* “What kind of a wild animal climbs stairs into a building” Jessica mumbles over another bite of scone. And maybe to fit in, or maybe because she’s always been a nervous eater, Angela takes a bite too.

* “Oh wow, these are really good” she murmurs

* Esme Cullen ladies and gentleman, winning the hearts of teenagers with baked goods since 19XX

* “Well you kids stay safe, stay together if you can.” She pats your head and you nod.

* You don’t know the details of the attack, you get the feeling Carlisle still see’s you as a kid and he doesn’t want to burden you.

* But assuming the small changes that have happened have nothing to do with the large changes, that means Laurent, James and Victoria will be passing through soon.

* Maybe it’s for the best Bella doesn’t get involved with Edward until later.

* You’d really like to not get all mixed up in the whole “James Thing” if you can help it.

* “Are you staying for dinner? I’m thinking of whipping up some pasta, maybe a chicken?” Esme looks to you, yeah you have no idea how she’s going to manage that. Besides the baking basics there’s no actually food in this kitchen. And the one upstairs is just for your blood bags.

* “(Y/N), do you think...Carlisle would mind if we used one of... his chickens?”

* His chickens? The only chickens in the house-

* “No Esme! My chickens are only for love and chicken snuggles” and their blood which tastes very leans yet rich. “Not to eat!”

* “It would just be one-we’ll eat your least favorite!”

* You’re really hoping this is her way of chasing the humans out because she doesn’t want to cook.

* “No- oh my god- we’re going to the diner come on!” You say tugging Jessica and Angela to stand.

* “It was great seeing you again Mrs. Cullen, see you next week!” Jessica shouts as the three of them follow you out.

* “Going out? Is that such a good idea it’s late and a school night.” Edward says as he descends down the stairs

* “Oh my god, yes Dad I’ll be home before my curfew.” You say before leaving, cue Edward crumbling onto the stairs as he imagines you calling him “daddy” again

* “I’m going to hell, I’m definitely going to hell.” He mumbles, his face in his hand.

* It’s a really short drive to the diner, also known as the only place to eat in Forks in the mid 2000’s.

*There’s not even a McDonald’s. It’s almost sad

* And when you get there, while everyone moves ahead to the table you see a familiar face.

* “Oh, Hey Bella”

* Your eyes met and you figured it would be rude not to say anything. It looks like she’s here having dinner with her Dad.

*She really does look like her dad, same eyes, same cheekbones.

* “Nice to see you again Chief Swan”

* “Nice to see you too, how’s Carlisle doing? Heard it’s been busy at the hospital.”

* “Yeah, it’s like he doesn’t sleep anymore.” You grin at your own joke.

* “Are you feeling alright now?” Bella asks, she looks genuinely concerned

* “Yeah, I um, made some questionable food choices at lunch.”

* There’s an awkward moment of silence. You get the impression that Chief Swan and his daughter are both the “strong silent” types.

* It looks like they’ve both finished eating already

* If you had known she was going to be here you would have made Edward come with you.

* “Oh hey, do you want to join us for dinner?” It just seems like the friendly thing to do for the new girl, something on-brand with human character

* Definitely not because if you get on her good side now, maybe she won’t kick you out once her and Edward get married.

*Father and daughter exchange a glance and the familiar connection they have makes you nervous.

*“Of course you don’t have to, I know you’re here with your dad so-“

* “I’m sure Bella would love to join-“ Charlie says at the same time Bella says:

* “Wouldn’t it be kind of weird since I already ate.”

* Ah, so they’re not as in sync as you thought.

* You give your best “Golden Girl - You can totally trust me with your daughter” smile.

* “I’m actually not eating either,” you place a hand over your stomach like a human might. “The uh, Clam Linguine is still haunting me, so I’m sticking to broth and sprite.”

* Why did you say Clam? You don’t even eat meat, it’s how you’ve been getting away with eating so little at lunch.

* “not a lot of vegetarian choices” You say to your human friends who nod solemnly.

* Father and Daughter exchange another look likening telepathic communication and they both move to stand

* “I’m going to finish up some paperwork at the precinct, don’t stay out to late.” Charlie says, leaning down to kiss his daughter on the forehead

* You watch with warm eyes and a small smile twitching onto your lips

* Bella is so loved.

* You can’t believe she’s willing to break her dad’s heart just so she can be 19 forever.

* Which, as you are 19 forever, you can fairly say is overrated

* “Hey guys Bella’s joining us.”

* Your female friends offer her a polite smile, you see Angela gaze flick from the menu to Bella’s face. Silently calculating the worth of this opportunity

* Any intel on this new girl would be pretty valuable

* Same old Angela

* Mike sits up straight so fast that he actually knocks his silverware off the table.

* “H-hey Bella, Hi, w-what, what are you doing here?”

* “Eating.” Bella says it so bluntly that you can’t help but laugh.

* Mike flushes bright red and Jessica and Angela exchange a look before giggling.

* “I thought it would be cool if she came over since I didn’t get to talk to her much.” You take a seat next to Jessica and Bella follows by taking the last seat between you and Mike.

* You still catch whiffs of her scent her and there, especially when she’s sitting so close to you.

* But it’s not so bad, the peachy smell is making you a little lightheaded, but you can handle it.

* At least you’re not fantascizing about killing her and everyone in this room like a certain dork you know.

* “Do you guys want to do that promotion where we get the basket of fries for the table?” Jessica asks

* “I don’t like sharing fries with Mike he eats them all.” Angela mumbles

* Yeah you remember last time when after a football game the three of them actually sat down and divided the plate in three equal portions

* They even measured out each fry dividing up the extra long ones

* “Says the person who basically eats ketchup with a spoon.” Mike retorts and Angela scoffs

* “It’s America’s best condiment for a reason Mike.” Angela snaps back

* “I think we’re getting off track, I say Mike buys us all french fries to make up for all the times he hogged the joint basket” Jessica’s teasing but Mike takes it seriously

* “What so I’m a French fry monster now?”

* “Yes” Both Angela and Jessica respond in unison without looking up from their menu cards

* “What do you think Bella?” You’re surprised that Jessica’s the one asking. You get the feeling she’s not very happy about Mike’s crush on Bella.

* “I think Mike should buy everyone their own basket since he has such a bad history with sharing.”

* “You traitor!” Mike mocks hurt and you all laugh.

* You look at Bella through the corner of your eye, maybe it’s just the lighting but she looks pinker when she’s laughing.

* She looks happy as she starts contributing to the conversation.

* “I will say the pie here is really good, I wouldn’t share even if someone paid me to.”

* “Omg yes, the cheery icebox pie is out of this world” Jessica responds

* “I’m partial to chess pie” Mike pipes in and Angela laughs

* “You guys are crazy, the fruit custard they make is the best”

* You grin as your four new friends argue about the superior dessert, watching Bella laugh beside you.

* Welcome to team human Bella

Tags: @moonlights27 @thebluetint @the100thtwilight @awesomebooklover17 @oneofthepotterheads @smileygirl08 @imdoingathingmom @iconicgguk @yrawn @alyciaswhore @little-horror-show @wicked-watering-can @lazydreamers @xxxmuxxx @puritanicalhypocrite

#twilight #twilight saga #twilight imagine #twilight headcanon #twilight reader insert #edward cullen imagine #edward cullen x reader #edward cullen #edward and bella #bella swan x reader #Bella x reader #bella swan #Jessica Stanley x reader #mike newton #angela weber #midnight sun #superhero--imagines

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carebohe · 3 years

Text

organizing my brain re: literary references in ted lasso episode 2:

there were 3- (actually 4 but the first shakespeare one is kind of a toss away joke- the ‘perchance to dream’ bit)

1. the prince of tides reference is pretty clear cut- the novel is about troubled childhoods (understatement), coaching and complex family relationships as well as therapy, and some romance etc.

it makes total sense that sharon, a sports psychologist, would have that as a favorite book.

2. ‘heavy is the head that wears the visor’

it’s a pretty clear cut jokey reference to henry iv part 2

and i encourage you to go read the whole soliloquy because it's good stuff, but here’s the essential part:

“Canst thou, O partial sleep, give thy repose

To the wet sea-boy in an hour so rude,

And in the calmest and most stillest night,

With all appliances and means to boot,

Deny it to a king? Then happy low, lie down!

Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.”

this is such an incredibly incisive quote for sharon to use, because it’s not only about anxieties messing up sleep which we know ted struggles with--

it’s also the fact that henry iv was a usurper with no god given right to the throne. he is portrayed as an indecisive ruler in the play with his doubt and uncertainty resulting partially from his own belief that he did not deserve the ‘crown’, even though in the previous play he’s in (richard ii) he is portrayed as ambitious and capable.

(i.e. sharon has this man’s NUMBER. she KNOWS.) (this is also what we call good fucking writing)

3. THE GODDAMN FOUNTAINHEAD? TED.

christ boy i want the explanation we were denied before i make any conclusions but imma give you one (1) yikes right off the bat.

so i am a person who has read that whole book- because rory gilmore did, obviously. i also chose rand as my author one year in high school (she had the longest books and i was a pretentious prick) so i have read just about everything she ever wrote and i’ve gotta say- that woman is absolutely mad. and she can absolutely write. and she needed a better editor, but i imagine if some bloke had come along and tried to edit her goddamn 75 page monologues i’m pretty sure she would have set him on fire.

(howard roark blows up a building because someone fucks with his architectural plans in the fountainhead, but the longest monologues are in atlas shrugged which no one should ever feel like they need to read)

anyway, i do see how this happened, and i can *kind of* see a reason or two why ted says this. so he started high school in the late 80′s when ‘greed was good’ and books like the fountainhead that have extreme examples of individualism were very popular- so he probably first read it as a school related thing.

and honestly, when you read that book as a teen it is quite appealing- this character who gives absolutely no fucks and follows his own ideas to the very letter at the expense of absolutely everything else. roark is unaffected by setbacks, by shitty people he works with, the woman he loves (WHOLE OTHER CONVO BTW) going off and marrying several dweebs because she's not quite at his level yet. he has absolute courage of his convictions.

it’s also just a fucking remarkable novel- like as long as you know that the philosophy in it is absolutely bonkers. all the characters are incredibly flawed- including the ‘flawless hero’- there’s just something about it.

maybe the ted lasso connection is that the fundamental quality the characters share is real no-holds-barred-belief.

for roark it’s belief in ego and the self, for ted- he believes in belief itself, the power of the human mind to be curious and entirely leave aside judgement

and deep down both of them really do believe that they are the best at what they do and that anyone else’s interference makes the whole endeavor tainted- for ted though, he may get over that. IN THERAPY. WE HOPE.

anyways there’s a bit in there that reminds me of ted during the darts scene- it’s in the fountainhead just before the ‘they killed the guy who invented fire’ speech that every dumb rand loving asshole you’ve ever known quotes.

“Roark stood before them as each man stands in the innocence of his own mind. But Roark stood like that before a hostile crowd--and they knew suddenly that no hatred was possible to him. For the flash of an instant, they grasped the manner of his consciousness. Each asked himself: do I need anyone’s approval?--does it matter?--am I tied? And for that instant, each man was free--free enough to feel benevolence for every other man in the room.“

tldr; ted was a weird kid, and so was i, but he needs to read more books

#unhinged over ted lasso watch: day ?????#ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers #honestly i wrote this for me so i could go back and refer later #THEODORE I WANT THE RAND EXPLANATION #no thoughts just ted lasso brain #do not come for me re: the fountainhead i KNOW it's got bad stuff in it #but you know.... art is complicated k?#and so are people #which like hi ted #edit back to say that theres a bit in that book where one act of courage gives a random other character the courage to live a lifetime #which also feels very ted #also i think maybe that choice is also more to do with the episode #ted unilaterally letting jamie back in because he truly believes it to be the right choice and damn everyone else #anyway

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binniedeactivated · 3 years

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hello binnie 👉👈 can i request a dom!beomgyu x fem!reader smut that follows the enemies to lovers plot line? maybe add in some degradation kink and jealousy or something (if possible) 👀 thank you!!

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 | 𝐝𝐨𝐦!𝐛𝐞𝐨𝐦𝐠𝐲𝐮 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!��𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄 | 𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐠𝐞!𝐚𝐮, 𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐮, 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭

𝐖/𝐂 | 3.2k

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 | 𝐝𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐲, 𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐬𝐞𝐱

a/n: this is my first time writing an arranged marriage fic so tell me if ya’ll like it (pls)

in his cleanly tailored black suit, an impatient beomgyu taps his foot in the corridor. he checks his watch for the fifth time in 6 minutes, looking over at the guards and driver with frustration.

“I don’t understand what’s taking her so long. what is she doing?”. he seethes.

“if you like I can check on her for you sir”. the maid asks politely. beomgyu nods and gestures toward the spiraled staircase of their oversized, luxurious home. “can you please? thank you”.

you were finishing the last touches on your makeup. you loved your outfit and you thought you looked gorgeous in your skin tight , satin salmon colored dress. however the only thing bad about this outing is that you had to go with your husband, choi beomgyu. marriage is one of the happiest times in any woman’s life but not yours. you didn’t have the beautiful, unpredictable love story like the average person. instead you were arranged in a marriage with a person you weren’t compatible with.

and the worst part about it all is that you couldn’t back down even if you tried. coming from a rich and rather popular family yourself, they wanted you to marry someone similar that could possibly understand you better and match your sentiments and luxury. so they picked the infamous choi beomgyu, apart of one the biggest, richest clans in the nation. as soon as you and beomgyu first interacted you knew there would be nothing to look forward to other than the downfall of your marriage. and you were just waiting for your family to see that.

“excuse me? mrs. choi? mr. choi was wondering if you were going to be ready any time soon?”.

you rolled your eyes. “tell him I’m coming down. I don’t know why he’s rushing me”. she nods her head and closes the door while you grab your purse. you took one last glimpse in the mirror and spread just a bit more glitter gloss on your lips before you were walking down the staircase. glancing up from his watch annoyed he glares up at you and tries his best to keep his eyes from skimming your curves.

“I don’t know why it takes you so long to get dressed. we’re going to an anniversary banquet not the grammy awards”.

“I don’t know why you feel like you have to rush me all the time. I said I was coming down. the venue is only 10 minutes away and the event doesn’t start for another 30 minutes”.

you say with just as much attitude as him, the guards helping you step into your heels as soon as you arrived at the bottom of the staircase. you whisper a small thank you while another wraps your fur coat around your neck. by this time anyone who worked in the choi residence were used to their frequent bickering. so there was no use in trying to get the duo to stop.

“yeah and we have to account for traffic. you also know that since I’m the son of the chief I have to be there on time. I don’t have time to be waiting for you to play in your little makeup box”.

you both head out of the door with the guards helping you to the car. the car was the worst out of all locations. since you two had a designated driver everywhere it meant that you would have to sit in a partitioned backseat with beomgyu.

you began talking as soon as the door closed behind you. “just because you get dressed two hours before every event doesn’t mean I have to do the same thing”.

“did I even say that? I’m just saying you have to start taking time into consideration. I don’t care how you get ready”.

“you were implying it so I’m letting you know. And I don’t care if you’re the chief ‘s son or not. I don’t care that you’re my husband. I don’t have to listen to you”.

“if you keeping doing what you want to do you’re going to give both of our families a bad reputation and we’re both going to lose our status and become poor. and I’m sure with all that glamorous shit that you wear becoming poor is your biggest nightmare”.

“and do you see how cocky you are? I’m pretty sure becoming poor is your biggest nightmare too. so how about we not go into that subject?”.

“I’ll go into whatever subject I want to go into because you don’t listen”.

“and who exactly do I have to listen to? please tell me”.

beomgyu rolls his eyes and sighs, he diverts his gaze to the scenery out the window while shooing you off. “you know what I don’t care anymore”.

you smacked his hand away. “don’t shoo me away Iike I’m some animal beomgyu. have some damn respect”.

“why would I respect you if you don’t respect me?”.

“I’m done talking to you. just stop talking”.

“good I’ve been waiting for you to be done”.

“good”. you say turning towards your own window in frustration. god he knew how to work your nerves.

“good”. he repeats back. and the both of you maintain the silence until it was time to actually speak at the event. it was the choi clan’s anniversary tonight and everyone couldn’t wait to see their baby boy beomgyu with his wife. it was something they all couldn’t believe considering they all raised him since he was in diapers. however acting like a married couple with beomgyu was the last thing you wanted to do tonight.

but nevertheless beomgyu snatches your hand in his before you two walked in the corridor. you wanted to say something but you guys were immediately bombarded by hugs and kisses from grandpas, grandmas, uncles, aunts, and even old cousins. most of them complimented how cute you two looked together and even asked when you guys were going to have children. you could just puke at the thought. you and beomgyu hadn’t even slept in the same bed.

the both of you sat down to your assigned dining table and other than the fact that you had to play pretend with beomgyu, you admired the historic decor and architecture of the venue.

“oh my gosh you guys are just so adorable together! let me tell you when beomgyu was little he always wanted to get married. he always talked about having a wife it was so cute. I’m glad to see he got his wish with someone as beautiful as you!”. one of his aunts complimented you both as soon as you sat down. you plastered on a fake smile and beomgyu nods with another fake smile of his own.

“can I get a picture if you don’t mind? I would love to add this to my photo album!”.

beomgyu puts his hand up and laughs, “auntie you really don’t have to right now. we can take pictures later”.

she flips her hand in the air, “oh! nonsense beomgyu! now you two pose for my camera”. she insists holding it up. you just wanted to come out of your body for a moment to see how awkward you both looked.

“guys! sit like you love each other. maybe you can kiss him on his cheek? that would be adorable!”.

now that was way too far for your liking. you shook your head and laughed to avoid it but you felt beomgyu nudging you underneath the table.

“just do it”. he murmured.

“no I’d rather be caught dead than lay my lips on you”.

“stop acting like a fucking child. just do it”.

for the sake of the status of you both, you positioned your lips right near his cheek but not letting them touch. she held up her camera but quickly put it down and laughs. “I don’t know why this looks staged. you two love each other! how about you just kiss? the cheek kiss looks a bit too fake for me”. she says before holding up her camera again.

the both of you swallow. he turns to you, “i promise after this my lips will never touch you again”. he whispers.

“good”. you mutter.

“good”. he repeats. he holds his breath before pressing his lips against yours. she quickly snapped the picture and jeered at the cuteness of it. but you couldn’t help but think about the softness of beomgyu’s lips and how they matched perfectly with yours. how he kissed you so passionately in such a short amount of time. how he made your heart pound. he quickly pulled away once he realized he was kissing you a bit too long knowing you were probably going to scold him. but for the first time in a long time you didn’t really want to.

the event was starting and the both of you bit your lips while diverting your gazes elsewhere. as the night progressed, oddly enough you avoided each other at all costs. even if that meant sparking conversations with a couple of gyu’s cousins just to do so. but like the jealous cousins’ they were though they were definitely doing more flirting than conversing. you had to say receiving other male attention wasn’t half bad. it wasn’t like you and beomgyu were a thing anyways.

beomgyu gently stirs his cup though, eyeing you from across the room. his uncles were giving him advice for marriage but he could only focus on the way his cousin subtly flirted by kissing you on the back of your hand multiple times. and it didn’t make it any better when you were blushing in response. it scared beomgyu because he hated you. and you hated him. so he couldn’t understand why he was getting jealous but he was and he couldn’t stop himself. his jealous aura made things much colder especially when you two were back in the car.

“and then here you go, having an attitude about something else“. you roll your eyes. as the door closed after you.

“i don’t know why you say shit like that if you know you cause them”.

“what did I do this time? I barely said a word to you tonight”.

“exactly. you were too busy exchanging them with my cousin”.

“and why does it concern you? we’re barely a couple let alone married”.

“do you realize that if you even slip up a little bit it affects our reputation? do you not think about that?”.

“why aren’t you addressing your cousin too then? he was flirting with me first”.

“and you were flirting back”. beomgyu snapped with his annoyed gaze out the window once more. you stared at him curiously.

“what? are you jealous?”.

“stop talking to me”.

you roll your eyes at his attitude again. he pissed you off so much. “I don’t even know why you’re jealous. we kissed for the first time tonight. we’ve been married for almost a year. doesn’t that say something about this whole entire relationship?”.

“I said stop talking to me”.

“what did I say about me not having to listen to you? I’m tired of you thinking you own--”.

in the blink of the eye beomgyu grabbed you and pulled you on his lap while his hand squeezed your jaw tightly, squishing your cheeks inwards.

“you know what? shut the fuck up. shut up. I am sick and tired of your attitude. every single time I say something you escalate it and drag it. no one can ever tell you shit because you feel like you know everything. I’m sick of it. I don’t want to be in this marriage as much as you but guess what? we don’t have a choice. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life arguing with you this shit is getting old. do you understand me?”.

your eyes grew as his tone of his voice. he slipped into a dialect you never heard out of him before. your heart raced and you nod at his words with your jaw aching painfully. he finally releases you and you glare back at his angered face while touching your jaw. you breathe heavy,

“why couldn’t you have gotten your point across without putting your hands on me?”.

“because I know you’d like it if I put my hands on you wouldn’t you?”.

and after that line, there was nothing but the heated stares and silence rising from the space between you. beomgyu took this time to admire your body from this close. he lets his fingers brushes against your thighs, following up your curves and your boobs and you let him. because it’s what you wanted. it’s all you wanted. you wanted beomgyu to touch you.

he stared you in your needy eyes before clasping his hand around your neck.

“you like it don’t you?”.

as soon as you bite your lips and nod beomgyu is already crashing his lips into yours. it was a kiss identical to this kiss from earlier except this time he kissed you hungrily. all this time he was craving you and now he couldn’t get enough. each time he pulled back for air he went in for more allowing his tongue to battle yours like a warrior, both pair of your hands curiously wandering the unfamiliar body of the other. he lifts your dress up and you unbuckle his slacks. he inches down to your neck and sucks skin burning hickeys that elicited soft moans from your lips. and they turned beomgyu on more than they should’ve because he never heard you moan before. he unzips your dress, let his fingers tease your slit through your panties while his tongue made a trail to your nipples.

you gasp in shock at the way he was sucking them, his head bobbing slowly on each nub before flicking them with his tongue. you mewl soft enough to be inaudible to the driver. not that he could hear much anyway with how loud the engine was roaring. he sticks his fingers in your panties and tease your clit while sucking your nipples obediently like the puppy he was. you push down and grind on his fingers, never in a million years thinking you’d be moaning for gyu like this.

he clasps his hand around your neck once more watching your grind your hips down on his fingers. he scoffs, “with the way you speak to me you don’t deserve to feel this good”. your head tilted back as your needy noises flooded the air. you wanted him so bad. you knew this wouldn’t be enough to get you off.

“look at your face. you want to be fucked don’t you?”. you nod as best as you could. “beg for it”.

you shamelessly obliged. “pplease beomgyu, please fuck me”.

“tell me that you’re going to stop talking back to me“.

“ffuck i’m going to stop talking back”. you groan.

“tell me you’re going to work on your attitude”.

“I’m ggoing to work on my attitude!”.

“you promise?”.

“yyes I promise”. you stammer.

words couldn’t explain how good you felt when beomgyu finally stuffed himself in you. he kept his thumb on your clit and fucked up into you as fast and hard as he possibly could. he disregarded your sweet cries or the love bites you created in his neck. he disregarded how much you clawed at his shoulder blades or squeezed the back of his neck. you were sopping wet for him and he wanted to feel all of you. he didn’t care how rough he was. he wanted to teach you a lesson once and for all.

“you’re so fucking--mmh”. beomgyu groans.

you caress his wrists while he chokes you and you moan while mindlessly drooling all over his fingers. he rubs your clit in small circles. you pant heavily feeling your hips stutter in his thrusts. “yyou’re going to make me ccum beomgyu-”. you whine, “fuck you’re going to make me cum”, you whine in a higher tone than anticipated.

“after you cum I don’t want to hear any mouth from you anymore. who owns you?”.

“yyou ! you own me beomgyu! fuckkk I’m cumming”.

your hips bucked while you released only for beomgyu to clutch your thighs and continue his sloppy thrusts inside you. you feel bad for the mess you were making on his lap but it seemed as if he didn’t care. you whined into the crook of his neck while he was overstimulating you until he finally got his fix.

“I’m almost done baby”. he groans while thrusting into you a few more times before painting your insides with his cum. with a heaving chest he lands a hot blooded kiss on your mouth.

“if we’re... going to start being nice to each other i’m sorry for talking to you that way“, -- “you just get me so angry sometimes”.

you couldn’t believe your ears. choi beomgyu was apologizing. you swallow your pride and kiss him back.

“it’s going to take a long time for me... to get used to being nice to you but I’m willing to try“,--- “and I’m sorry for my attitude and the way I belittle you. I’ll work on it”.

beomgyu smirks. “because I own you right?”.

you roll your eyes and playfully scoff. “fine”.

#choi beomgyu #beomgyu #beomgyu smut #tomorrow by together #txt smut

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tittytania · 3 years

Text

Finding ChristBorg: A TED talk about what happened during the Coldharbour Compact.

Reposted from my tes reddit bc I want to see what y’all think.

I can't tell if I'm a genius, completely insane, or if I'm just late to the lore-party. Time to find out I guess. TL;DR at the bottom.

So it has never been explained what Sotha Sil did during the Coldharbour Compact to convince the daedric princes to not manifest on Nirn without an intermediary, and it probably never will be since the mystery of it all is far too cool. But that doesn't mean I can't read into it like literature and look for meaning in the other texts I can compare it to.

To start, Vivec is based off of the Shakta variation of the half female/half male Ardhanarishvara, where the gold-skinned female half is the right side. Both Vivec and Ardhanarishvara represent unity and duality, and looking at some images of Ardhanarishvara, it's kinda hard to argue that Vivec wasn't based off of them. Kirkbride even confirmed that Ardhanarishvara was the inspiration for Vivec in an AMA. Now, Vivec is part of the god trio the Almsivi Tribunal, along with Almalexia and Sotha Sil. Shiva, who Ardhanarishvara is the avatar of, is also part of a god trio, called the Trimurti in Hinduism. So it would make sense if the other members of the tribunal are also based off of one member of a real world religious triad. I have a shaky idea of who Almalexia could be, but my theory for her god-inspiration is nowhere near as solid as my theory for Sotha Sil, who I believe is based on Jesus Christ.

To start, their characterizations have multiple similarities. Both are one branch of a god-triad, with Sotha Sil as part of the Tribunal, and Jesus as The Son in the Holy Trinity. Both serve as a teacher, with Jesus being referred to as Teacher several times in the Bible, and Sotha Sil giving lessons on magic and Mysticism to the Psijic Monks. Also, both are characterized as wise, patient, and celibate. They both talk about moral and philosophical concepts with their followers, neither Jesus nor Sotha Sil are shown as having a temper or raising their voices, and neither of them are shown with a spouse or partner. Sotha Sil is specifically shown as not caring about the Night Mother's attempts to sexually manipulate him in book seven of 2920, The Last Year of the First Era. Now I know that 2920 is considered a work of historical fiction in-universe, but I don't think that matters in this situation since I'm approaching this as a person reading a text, not as a person living inside the lore world.

In terms of specific scenes that connect Sotha Sil and Jesus, the first I will mention is that they both use a makeshift whip to beat intruding wrongdoers and drive them away, while yelling about fathers. In the Truth in Sequence vol. 8 book, it says that "[t]hrough His will alone, Mighty Seht wound the veins (of metal ore) into god-bronze whips, and lashed the Prince pitilessly," saying "[b]ehold the wrath of lost Ald Sotha! Know death at my hands, false-son of a false-father!" In the Bible, Jesus found people doing sales in a place of worship, and then He "made a whip of cords, (and) He drove them all out of the temple," saying “Take these things away! Do not make My Father’s house a house of merchandise!” (John 2 15-16).

Also, Jesus had close friends and followers who were called his apostles, and Sotha Sil has his own Clockwork Apostles. Sil's apostles reside in the Clockwork Basilica, and while basilica isn't an exclusively Christian term, it is frequently used to describe a type of church architecture, and is a term the pope uses to recognize distinguished churches.

Another similarity that I found was in the plot of Morrowind, where Sotha Sil's death was caused at the hands of Almalexia, who was someone he had once loved and trusted, much like with Jesus and Judas.

The most notable life similarity as it relates to the Coldharbour Compact is that both leave the earthly world in order to make a deal for the benefit of the souls on earth, and then return to the earthly world. This parallel is given extra weight with the descriptions of the scene in the book 2920, The Last Year of the First Era. Sotha Sil returns from Coldharbour by way of someone "rolling aside the great boulder that blocked the entrance to the Dreaming Cavern. This sounds a lot like the scene in the bible of the discovery that Jesus had risen from the dead, where "an angel of the Lord descended from heaven, and came and rolled back the stone from the door" (Matthew 28:2). In addition, Jesus said "after He is killed, He will rise [on] the third day," (Matthew 17:23) and after Sotha Sil returned from Coldharbour, he "felt he had been away for months, years, but only a few days had transpired." Perhaps it had been 3?

In addition to the life and behavior similarities, there are similarities in dress. In the 2920 book, Sotha Sil is always described as wearing a white robe or cloak. In ESO, Sotha Sil is shown as barefoot, and wearing a blue sash over his long white robe. In medieval and renaissance art, Jesus is most always depicted as barefoot, and is frequently shown with a blue cloth over his shoulder. In most resurrection art, as well as in almost all 20th/21st century art, Jesus is depicted as dressed in white. While Jesus usually isn't usually shown wearing both the blue sash and the white robe at once like Sotha Sil is, I found one modern interpretation of Jesus that does dress him this way, and several depictions of him in Chinese art that also portray him like this.

I'm feeling almost conspiratorial here, but these similarities are far too many for me to think it's accidental, and therefore I have to think that all of this is meant to suggest that Sotha Sil serves a Christ-figure role in his story, i.e. in sacrificing own life like Jesus did in order to make his deal in the Coldharbour Compact. However I don't think Sil's sacrifice was quite so simple. After he is asked what he offered the Daedra in return for the deal, he states: "The deals we make with Daedra... [s]hould not be discussed with the innocent." This implies that in contrast to the Christ mythos, Sil's sacrifice was not blameless; he did not come out of the deal with his hands clean.

So, a Christ-like sacrifice that isn't quite as pure and selfless as it is in Christianity. What could that be?

My theory is that in order to make the Coldharbour Compact, he sold the lives of Vivec and Almalexia along with his own. Perhaps he told the princes that he knew the tribunal's godhood would end, and in exchange for their cooperation he promised not to tell the other tribunes or make any attempt to prevent his and his companions' demise. (After all, as far as I know he made the mechanical heart for keeping his city functional, not for recreating the divinity the heart of Lorkhan provided.) Or, maybe he offered to do something to assist in bringing the Tribunal down, and losing Sunder and Keening, the tools that helped them maintain their divinity, was intentional on his part. Sil deliberately sacrificing his own life appears to be reflected in Azura's statement after his death. She said "he shed his mortality long ago, and I am certain his death was no small relief to him." Of course she'd know that he let go of his life ages ago if he had willingly sold it to her. Of course she would be certain that he found his death to be a relief, if she'd heard him say so himself when he was explaining why a god would ever offer such a deal.

It would also make sense with Sotha Sil's character, since he allegedly loved the people on Nirn more than Almalexia or Vivec did, and the destruction of Gilverdale could have definitely been a traumatic enough reminder of the destruction of Ald Sotha for him to do something dramatic to prevent it ever happening again. And guilt over sacrificing his friends could have definitely been a contributing factor to the worsening self-isolation and intense depression in his later life. It would also be a definite explanation for why he apparently never met another soul in the 10 years between losing the tools and his death. Not only had he become extremely disillusioned with the imperfections of the world, he had now finalized the deal he made so long ago, and saw no point in continuing to interact with a deeply flawed world he was essentially finished with.

However, I do see some issues with this and how it would work in-universe. Namely the fact that Hermaeus Mora's seekers said the prince received something from every individual on Nirn as part of the deal, which is quite different from what I'm suggesting. A different deal for each prince would also explain why Sil was able to include Clavicus Vile and Mephala in the compact at a much later date. There would be no reason for Vile and Mephala to submit to a collective deal whose terms had already been decided. So if he offered the tribunal's lives as part of the deal, he would have needed to offer other things as well. But for me the most significant in-universe issue I struggled with was that using his death as a bargaining tool would create a massive problem for his ability to enforce the deal in the future. This could explain why both Molag Bal and Mehrunes Dagon manifested on Nirn after Sotha Sil's death, but since I think they were summoned by qualified mortals that could have been a loophole. Either way, making a deal that is meant to last forever by promising something that can never be taken back in the case of a breach of contract seems extremely short-sighted for someone who claims to be cursed with certainty. Especially considering how many of the princes there were known to be cheats and liars.

Unless, that is, you believe this theory I read about the reason why Sil was completely silent as he was killed. My original belief was that he was silent because he'd seen it coming long ago, and knew that nothing he could have said would have changed Almalexia's mind. And while that would be in character for him, now I'm starting to think that it was because he had already uploaded his consciousness elsewhere. This would fit in with the Christ-figure parallels, due to the Christian belief that Jesus is risen from the dead and very much alive. While Jesus returned to life at the same time he emerged from the cave, the completion of Sotha Sil's death sacrifice didn't happen until long after his return via the cave. While I have found no explicit evidence that he's still around, when you find his body in Morrowind he is shown hanging, with his arms outstretched at his sides, in a sort of crucifixion pose. And after the crucifixion comes the resurrection. Perhaps Sotha Sil is still around somewhere in the gears of his city, and he promised the princes he'd never be present or have any influence on Nirn so long as they kept up their end of the deal. Additionally, the 37th sermon of Vivec mentions Sotha Sil as holding "his swollen belly," carrying "[his] daughter." While Vivec's sermons are hardly ever literal, Kirkbride's comments suggest that maybe Vivec was being somewhat literal in this instance. Regarding this concept art, Kirkbride said "note the cosmic baby growing inside Sotha Sil. While Sotha Sil is dead as we saw in the add-on pack “Tribunal”, the child survived." Perhaps one of Sotha Sil's many body modifications made him able to carry and birth a child, and then he created a daughter through self-cloning or some other method that allows him to have enough influence to enforce the compact.

TL;DR - Sotha Sil has a lot of similarities with Jesus, so he's a Christ figure and therefore his sacrifice in the Coldharbour Compact was himself, and Almalexia and Vivec too, and that also means that he may still be around.

Anyways, thanks for reading and sorry if this sounds like I'm putting red strings on a wall as my application essay to the r/SothaSimps fan club. Also, lmk if I'm missing anything obvious. For me right now Reading Lore On The Bedroom Floor is a bit more manageable than playing the games, and there may be something I've just completely looked over.

#sotha sil #tes #the elder scrolls #tesblr #vivec #almalexia #morrowind #elder scrolls online #eso #lord seht

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hesgunnalovethis · 3 years

Text

Act of Guilt

Summary: Your actions planetside begin to interfere with your daily life and Leonard McCoy, struggling to see you this way, wants to help.

TW: Teen rating for mature themes, we’re talking through some sleep paralysis, we’re having bad dreams, we're absolutely full of angst but we end on a high besties <33

This one goes out to all my homies that are overworked and underappreciated :’) whether it be school, college, uni, careers or general life; you are seen, you are valid and I think you’re doing a great job and so does our homeboy Leonard McCoy.

Masterlist!

Word Count: 1855

You were used to waking up against the frigid grey of the Enterprise. Even as a high ranking officer you were each assigned the same internal quarters, uniform in presentation. Glutted, you often heard a little more than you wanted to on either side of your walls. You feared that perhaps they heard a little too much as well.

You were used to waking up with frozen limbs. With the same familiar feeling washing over your head before rushing down to tighten your chest. The same reluctance to open your eyes to reveal whichever heinous scene your subconscious displayed within your familiar raw walls.

Every night played out the same: the face of someone you loved in front of your pointed phaser switched to kill, heaved awake by the thud of their lifeless body, held a frozen prisoner forced to endure whichever fear felt most prominent that morning.

Recently you couldn’t even bring yourself to near the bed. You’d return from shifts to sit on the bitter floor and recount the enemies you’d killed in the name of Starfleet. You’d think of their lives, their loved ones, their dreams.

You were brought to Starfleet to be a doctor; now it seems they’d have you do anything but.

It was Thursday. You made your way to the medbay to be briefed on the rota for this week. You weaved in and out of a sea of uniforms who stalked towards their own respective bases for their own respective rotas.

Your week often looked the same - another sense of routine you couldn’t seem to escape - five days with the ground team, one shift in the medbay, one day off. Your medbay shift was always the same too. Sunday shift: the biggest influx of causalities, highs of inpatients with the longest turnover time, most surgeries performed and somehow always understaffed.

Moving towards your, makeshift, office you picked up your PADD and looked for the rota that Leonard always sent to you prior to the briefing. Seven days of ground work. You almost doubled over from the thought of it. Your entire body felt hot as you took deep breath convincing bodily fluids to stay put.

With frantic pace you arrived at Leonard’s, very much real, office and found him turned away finishing his notes for the day.

You dropped the PADD in front of him with force, “Explain.”

“You know that if I had it my way you’d be here seven days a week.” Leonard spoke as if rehearsed, he’d obviously anticipated your visit.

“You have jurisdiction here, Leonard. Surely there’s something you can do? Something you haven’t tried?” You scrambled out as Leonard put his pen down and held his head in his hands.

“I’ve tried everything darlin’. You don’t know how important it is to me that you’re here.” Your mind flicked through your conversations in the medbay that went on a little too long as you stood a little too close. Stolen moments through the day you’d fill with genuine laughter and escapism. The fresh flowers that would appear in your crooked office that he’d never let you thank him for. You remembered the shifts where Leonard would let you take the lead while he caught up on sleep on his couch. The days you’d both stay behind and drink away the sourness until you met the sweetness of his lips on yours. “I’ve tried everything.”

“Tell them we’re understaffed. Tell them I’m indispensable. Tell them-” Your voice broke. Leonard head lifted at the sound revealing a deep hole in his cheek unmistakably driven in by a phaser shot.

You gasped, stumbling back through his office tripping over the coffee table centre piece of the room. Leonard moved towards you. Unable to take your eyes off the hole in his face as your hands dripped with blood and guilt you expelled your body weight willing the pull door to push open. Leonard’s hands levelled either side of the door frame his face close to yours. Ears muffled and knees giving way you pressed your eyes shut concealing the scene.

“Y/N?” Leonard asked after a few moments of stillness before lifting one of your eyelids shining his torch in each eye. As you readjusted to the light you saw Leonard’s face again, clean of everything but concern. You glanced round the room to find the coffee table the only thing out of place and your hands sweating but clean. You reached for Leonard pulling him in towards you. His hands swept round your back and he pressed a kiss into your temple.

“What” he asked, “the hell was that?”

“Felt like my dream.” You said performing exercises to convince Leonard you did not have a head injury without him asking.

“And you often have dreams of murderous me?” Leonard dissolved, guiding you towards the seats in the middle of the room, straightening the coffee table.

“No. I often have dreams of murderous me.”

Curious and cautious Leonard sat opposite you and reached for your hand. He pulled back sharply at first “You’re iced.” He clasped both your hands in his and puffed a long warm breath between them. Slowly your anxiety began to melt. The breath was real. The warmth was real.

“Every night I have a dream, eerily like an away mission, only the faces are swapped and I know who I’m killing. And then, I wake up and watch them die on my floor and my body screams at me to wake up and help them but I’m frozen. I can’t move.”

“Sleep paralysis?” Leonard asked still rubbing your hands between his own.

“That would be my guess. Every morning. Some nights I can’t face it.”

“What do you do those nights?”

“I stay up. Sit on the ground and think about all the lives I’ve taken in a job where I’m supposed to save them.” You stood up and walked towards the window in Leonard’s office, poking open the blinds to view the busy medbay. You sighed at the internal architecture of the ship. “It’s like I’m not real. I exist within grey walls or as a killing machine.” You slumped back down in the chair.

Leonard leaned forward slipping his hand round the back of your neck, scratching the base of your hair line. He held eye contact with you and sincerely stated, “You’re quite dramatic.”

“Week after week, Leonard. Every time I shut my eyes I see you or Jim or- or Chekov lifeless because of me! Makes you think of what those lives I’ve ended meant to someone else.” You stood up again walking towards the blinds, poking them open slightly hoping to see a different landscape. “And why does this ship have no exterior windows! Would it kill them to let me see the stars? Remind me where I came from.” Spitting the end vehemently towards Starfleet architects.

“Why don’t you come and stay with me for a while?” Leonard placed a hand on your shoulder, his other hand working the blinds out of your fingers before you broke them. “A change of scenery might do some good.”

“Aren’t you going to tell me I need to work through my guilt and reconceptualise my relationship with my job?”

“You’re a damn fine doctor Y/N. You don’t need me to tell you that, you just need a clear head to realise it for yourself.”

Leonard led you out of the medbay shouting a mere, “I’m a doctor, not a motivational speaker damnit.” In place of his weekly briefing.

Together you walked the length of the ship. Leonard asked you more about your dreams presenting it as conversational but you could see the medical cogs in his brain turning. “You’ve never had psychological training?” Leonard asked at one point with a startled stopping of his feet.

“Psychological training? What med school did you go to?” Scoffing at his faith in The Academy.

“Not med school, but I did a fair whack before I joined Jim’s ground team. You’ve never had- my god! No wonder you’re wracked with guilt darlin’ that is- that is- how did you ever end up planetside?”

“I don’t know I’m just pretty handy with a phaser I guess.” You said as you arrived at a door with the letters C.M.O emblazed on the front. “Nice door. How come I’ve never been here?”

Leonard shrugged “ ‘s not my fault you prefer the desk.” He stated opening the door to his double sized room.

Smooth navy covered the walls, beautifully contrasting the deep wooden furniture and shelves of brown bottles. Surrounded by whiffs of comforting warm fires and cheap rum you watched as Leonard ordered on the lights and followed him through to the next room. There was no doubt that Leonard lived a full life back home. His living space was full of southern knick-knacks and photographs of people you’d never known. There was a small collection of silver neck chains on show, thoroughly worn although never while on shift and nine or ten small stacks of crime novels strewn across the floor.

“This might cheer you up sweetheart.” Leonard tossed his PADD onto his cracked brown leather couch and made his way to the back wall which was entirely concealed by a deep purple curtain. Taking a bundle of the thick fabric in his hands, he eyed you before trudging it across the room revealing a vast ceiling to floor window. You caught your reflection in the glass and clapped your mouth shut looking to Leonard in shock.

“Bit of a sick joke for an aviophobiac.” Leonard physically shuddered at the open black, “But if it makes you happy it’s worth it.”

Bounding over the top of Leonards sofa to get a better look, you gazed out over the space you’d called home for past three years. Something about the infinite expanse always grounded you. The lack of endings and the billions of possibilities that presented made all of your worries and problems seem positively insignificant. It left you searing with luck to be living regardless. You moved even closer letting your breath fog up the glass. Leonard moved behind you hugging you round the middle and resting his chin on your shoulder.

“Look at it Leonard. Isn’t it just-”

“Horrifying?”

“Do you really look at that and feel nothing?” You were aghast at the thought.

Leonard sighed “I appreciate the sentiment of it.” He concluded. “It reminds me of a Jorge Luis Borges quote.”

“I didn’t realise you were so well read.” You both shared another moment of genuine laughter, “What’s the quote?”

“He says, ‘I’m not sure I exist, actually. I am all the writers that I have read, all the people I have met, all the women that I have loved;” He squeezed your arm as he spoke “All the cities I have visited.’ Reminds me of you actually. All the lives you’ve saved in the medbay and planeside. You leave a part of you everywhere you go; that’s what I think is beautiful, doll.”

You turned to him. He held your gaze firmly and you knew he meant the words he’d spoken. You rested your head against his chest silently thanking him for his kindness, you knew he’d never let you say it out loud. This wasn’t your home, but Leonard smelled of home for we all leave a part of ourselves in those we love.

Together you turned the couch to face the window and under Leonard’s duvet slept a full night of dreamless sleep woken only by a PADD dropped on your chest with the same force you’d dropped at Leonard yesterday.

“Five days in the medbay.” He gestured towards the open rota displayed on the screen, “Two days off. Including Sunday.”

#leonard mccoy imagines #bones imagines #leonard mccoy x reader #bones x reader #mccoy x reader #mccoy imagines #dr mccoy x reader #bones star trek #star trek fanfiction #star trek imagines #star trek fic #doctor mccoy #doctor mccoy x reader

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