#and don't worry I have not forgotten about babe =u=

[astralartefact]

waiha & exha wip what do you mean exit your comfort zone

#xHyH #i've decided to change their outfits #exha's is still wip but waiha is p much done #and don't worry I have not forgotten about babe =u= #i have the perfect plan for him #their weapons are still missing but i already designed them #btw my delusional plan is to eventually give them all the costumes tenha (10H) gets #but i want to base those around hers so it will only be after hers are released #i even have ideas for their ex/rod stories... but lets see when 10h even releases first lol #also i've stumbled across pronouncing it 10ha instead of eitch (shaking my fist at the english-speakers of the world) and i won't go back #sounds so much better #also tenha is an actual name

[abiiors]

haunt // bed - pt. 1

a/n: a while ago, i wrote do me a favour after which i said, i would write a matty hate sex fic. well this is it (and perhaps a bit more than anyone asked for), read dmaf again if you want to refresh your memory, or don't. there are 3 parts to this + an epilogue. i also know very little about western weddings, so ignore the inconsistencies lol.

a note about the banner: the photo in it is only meant to describe the dress, not the race, body type, hair colour, etc of the reader <3

minors dni! part 2, part 3

wc: 2.7k

see u in an hour xx

charli’s text flashes on your screen, illuminating a small corner of the dimly lit room. it’s not that late in the day, in fact, it’s quite early—only about 10 am. you’re supposed to be hurrying around the room, checking for any last minutes things you might have forgotten. you won’t be back home until tomorrow after all. yet here you are, surrounded by the things that should have been packed in your bag last night. 

the dress, laid out on your bed, feels like a weapon; red silk slippery enough to slide between your fingers effortlessly. “a wily vixen”, that’s what charli had called you when she'd seen you in it for the first. the thought of that day—bridesmaids dress shopping with four other excited girls—brings a small smile to your face. 

everything laid out here is a weapon really; your four-inch, sharp heels, the delicate and dainty diamond jewellery, the makeup you plan on wearing—blood red lipstick, a perfect shade match for the dress. an expensive crystal bottle of the same perfume you have used for the past six years. 

familiarity breeds contempt. familiarity is also an excellent knife to twist in someone’s gut. because everything here, today, is meant to maul and wound him.

see you in an hour babe, love you. you write back and chuck your phone onto the pillow where it bounces a little before nestling between its creases. you stare at it, maybe your body still yearns for a call that will never come? no more can’t wait to see you up there. no more cheeky selfies in a state of half-undress. just a smooth, black screen.

right then…time to get going. 

charli has been flittering around the room for the last twenty minutes. her white dress fits her like a dream, her makeup is a work of art and her excitement about marrying george is so palpable in the room that at least one person squeals or sighs every five minutes. 

most importantly, the smile on her face is a permanent fixture. and every time you look at it, a warmth spreads through your body. she deserves this—the happiness, the celebration. the happily ever after. no matter how your marriage ended, you won’t stop believing in it for her. 

“so!” charli walks over to you and takes your hand, “how do i look?” she twirls and the dress swirls around her, the tiny crystals catching light and making her shimmer like starlight.

you laugh in response, “like george is about to go into cardiac arrest the minute he sees you!”

the pair of you giggles like teenagers. you can so clearly picture it before it has even happened. the joy and love that will shine on george’s face; his excitement, quiet yet infectious and for a brief moment you’re transported back to your own walk down the aisle. 

small, unsure steps, worried about falling flat on your face in those tall heels, but all of that had evaporated the second you had seen his tear-stained face. and the bright smile that had bloomed a split second later. 

but that’s how long the ache lasts; a brief moment. it’s bad enough that you’re going to have to be civil to him, there’s no need to make it worse with unnecessary nostalgia. 

besides, there’s her to think about. 

she in question is a beautiful, leggy blonde who is at least seven years younger than him. not that you’ve seen either of them today…yet. it’s only because you and charli got drunk one night, four weeks before the wedding, and she felt bad about keeping it from you that matty had a plus one. and that’s how you fell into the rabbit hole of scrolling through this girl’s Instagram profile at two in the morning. 

if you thought you knew his type, you would be dead wrong. physically speaking, she is the exact opposite of you—someone who looks like they belong on a giant billboard in times square, perfect and stunning. then there’s the more questionable aspects of her feed. the flat tummy tea adverts and the paid partnerships with various brands that are always under fire for being unethical.

but that’s the ugly green monster rearing its head. it’s not like you aren’t known for indulging in vanity every once in a while. 

she will be here today, no doubt, clinging onto his arm like a decorative little thing—woah, where did that snide thought come from?! you shake your head to yourself, at least a little embarrassed. he’s not even here yet and he’s already screwing with your head; pushing you back into old jealous and insecure habits. someone clears their throat. 

nora, one of charli’s longtime friends, has her champagne glass raised. a toast. she takes a deep, shaky breath and smiles tearily at the room, about to give her sentimental speech when a resounding knock echoes and cuts her off before she has even begun. 

five heads turn to the locked door and you happen to be standing closest to it. 

‘i’ll get it,’ you tell no one in particular, hand already on the doorknob. the possibility of it hits you way too late. 

it hits you right as his clean-shaven face comes into view. 

it has been ten months. ten months since you gave up the last name healy and changed it back to your maiden name on all your official documents. it had felt like a form of catharsis, getting it done with such urgency back then. but you also remember the days when you would be asked to state your full name and stagger a little at how odd it sounded to no longer have healy in it. to not have a ring around your finger to fidget with. no one to hold you at night. 

but back to now. back to here. 

it’s not hard to see that he has changed a lot in the last ten months. he looks serious; not necessarily sombre—it’s his best friend’s wedding, after all—but mature, more grown up. the grey in his hair, in his beautiful curls, is now much more prominent. the crow's feet around his eyes are more or less the same (and it sends a small pang through you; has he not laughed recently?). his mouth holds—held—a faint smile that’s already slipping, already morphing into a thin line. the exact same face that you woke up to for years now turning into a mask of carefully arranged neutrality.

“charli,” he whispers roughly and then clears his throat, “here to check on charli.” and just like that, he steps past you and into the room where he’s engulfed into a hug by the bride (and slapped on the bum by another bridesmaid but you ignore that for now).

pointedly, you also ignore the sting that comes with being sidestepped so easily. 

you stand by the door, back still to the room, for a second longer than necessary. it doesn’t even register that you’re letting the warm spring air in. is this really how little seeing you impacts him? it must have. because if he’s here then she is also here. 

“tell him i’m fine!” charli’s voice brings you out of your thoughts, making you shut the door softly. “and tell him not to meddle, i’ve got my girls.” she looks at you over his shoulder and throws a wink. your gut tells you it’s nothing but a charity gesture, just trying to gauge the tension between you two. guilt gnaws at you—she shouldn’t have to play peacemaker, she shouldn’t have to worry about two adults behaving themselves. 

“only doing my duty here,” matty raises his hands defensively, “keeping the groom happy.” 

the rest of them tease and taunt him playfully while you take the time to admire—no, simply look at—his suit. it’s nowhere near as nice as the one he wore at your wedding, of course not. but it’s beautifully made, tailored to fit and accentuate his muscles. and there are a lot of those now, that much is evident from the way his sleeves stretch over his biceps. he fills it out nicely, not that he didn’t before, but something about the fabric straining across his arms does funny things to your stomach. funny, you thought that feeling was a thing of the past. then there’s the navy trousers that compliment his backside rather nicely. 

there’s a part of you that is appalled at all these observations you have been making but there’s another part—bored and much more matter-of-fact—that reminds you that there’s nothing under those clothes that you haven’t seen, touched, licked or sucked before. there’s nothing new. he is still the same as he was before, just now with a few extra muscles. 

“go away,” charli’s nudges him gently toward the door. “we’ll be out in fifteen.”

he hugs her just before he leaves, dropping a friendly kiss on her head. after everything you’re glad no one had to pick sides in the divorce. you’ve at least managed to hold the friend group together, even though the same can’t be said about your marriage. 

matty leaves just like he came in, sidestepping you and making sure he’s looking straight ahead. there’s a brief second however—a fraction of one really—when he slows down and breathes in. his adam’s apple bobs roughly and his face struggles to hold the blank expression. 

but it must have just been you projecting right? no one can go through that much in half a second. 

“there you are, darling,” denise walks in on you mid-smoke. “i was looking for you.”

she’s in a beautiful pink dress that brushes her knees and makes her look ten years younger than she is. you blush slightly at having been caught smoking; it’s a recent habit, not one she would be aware of, and you don’t want her to judge you for it. 

“denise,” you try to hide the half-smoked cigarette, “you look beautiful.”

she pointedly looks at your hand and laughs. “my son does enough of that.” then she straightens up, as if bringing matty so casually into this conversation was a mistake. you suppose it was—it does make your heart skip a beat. 

“i just wanted to say hi, darling,” she adds hastily, “and look at you…” her eyes scan you from head to toe, linger on your face for just a second before she smiles again. “simply stunning.”

“thank you.” your voice comes out in a whisper, fighting to get past the lump in your throat. you didn’t think there would ever come a day when she would have to so formally stop by to ‘say hi’. yet here you are, almost a pair of estranged mother and daughter. 

“i don’t…” she starts but shakes her head minutely, “i don’t want to condescend you. but are you okay? with matty bringing that girl, i mean.”

that piques your interest. “that girl?” you stifle a little giggle. “sounds like you don’t like her…”

denise shrugs, leaning against the wall and looking at the bushes in front of her. “she’s okay, i guess.” then she takes a bit to smooth out her dress. “but she’s not you.”

“dearly beloved…” the officiant, charli’s godfather, begins, which you tune out instantly. weddings are lovely and romantic, wedding speeches are dull and boring. besides, like it or not, something else has captured your attention. 

you stand behind the bride, holding the ring she’s supposed to put on george later. and right in front of you stands matty, holding the matching platinum band in his hands. adam and ross stand behind him, smiling and occasionally laughing along with the rest of the guests. you tried it at first too, to only keep your attention on george—who looks very handsome and beams wide the whole time—but it’s impossible when you feel your ex’s piercing stare right on you. 

you would have thought he would stick to the little ignoring act from before. instead, his eyes have lingered on you from the second you walked down the aisle as a part of the processional. tracking your every move, every small step. frankly, it’s insulting. does he think you would ruin the wedding as some sort of diabolical revenge against him? you scoff internally; of course, he would think such self-centred thoughts, it’s just all about him, after all.

you raise an eyebrow at him. what’s your fucking problem?

he smiles back; an arrogant curl of his mouth that turns his face from sweet to insufferable within a matter of seconds. you, his eyes seem to say, you’re my problem. 

well too fucking bad then…

you huff and look away to the side at the guests. it’s only about fifty people from both sides. just family and friends—a lovely kind of intimacy the couple had asked for. you smile at george’s parents who sit in the first row. his mum dabs at her eyes, clearly overwhelmed with emotion. and behind them sit denise and tim. right next to her. 

she’s exactly what she looks like on her instagram page. dainty and beautiful, picture-perfect elegant. her whole face looks like it could be hand-crafted by the gods (or very expensive surgeons according to the snide little voice in your brain) but her eyes are bone dry. 

that’s because she doesn’t belong here, your brain chimes in. not among your friends and your family. 

well, ex-family…

her name doesn’t immediately come to the forefront of your mind. all you know from that drunken night is how charli made you block all her socials at the end of it. as if you were going to go back to them again and again. as if you have no purpose in life other than obsessing over your ex’s new girl. 

she sighs, then looks out the window with a bored expression on her face and you have to focus your attention back to the bride and groom before you do something drastic. not before you catch matty looking at you from the corner of your eye, however. 

not just at you…he’s staring at the plunging neckline of your dress that shows off your cleavage wonderfully. with the big window to your side, it’s so clear to see every little detail of his face—his teeth gnawing on his bottom lip (he’s unaware that he’s doing it. you know that for a fact). his pupils that are blown out wide, making almost the entirety of his eyes look black; dark and hungry. 

your mouth curls into a smirk, arrogant enough to mirror his own. well, this is interesting. 

matty’s mouth presses into a thin line. even now, after you caught him so red-handed, he’s trying to deny it. but you don’t miss his ears turning the telltale shade of pink. 

“...and i promise to love you for the rest of my life.” george’s voice breaks on the last word, the tears flowing freely but he smiles through all of it. in front of you, charli’s shoulders shake. they haven’t even put the rings on each other yet and they’re already emotional. it makes you laugh, and surprising, you feel the tears escaping your eyes.

i promise to love you for the rest of my life. that’s what matty had said too. i promise to dance in the kitchen with you and do all my silly little romantic gestures. i promise to never let you fall. i promise, i promise, i promise…

so many of them unkept, so many of them just pretty words spoken on a perfect day in front of a tearful audience. 

“i do!” charli squeals before the question is even finished, making everyone laugh. a wet chuckle escapes you at her infectious joy. 

“do you, george, take charli to be your lawfully wedded wife?” the officiant asks. 

“i do,” he says patiently and charli sticks her tongue out at him. 

you sincerely hope they stay like this for the rest of their lives—polar opposites who complete each other. not people who are so similar, they don’t know how to exist in the same space anymore. 

matty smiles, first at the couple and then, shockingly, at you. husband and wife he mouths. 

jarringly still, you smile back. 

i would love to hear what you think 🤭

#matthew healy #matty healy #matthew healy x reader #matty healy x reader #matty healy angst #just angst #angst fic #matty healy fanfiction #the 1975 #the 1975 fanfic #george daniel #ross macdonald #adam hann #matty the 1975 #matty healy imagine #matty x reader #angst writing #the 1975 fic #matty x you #the 1975 angst

[beelmons]

about the love languages blurb thing...🥺 can i pls ask for physical touch with Hotch bebé pretty please? i just feel he's do touch-starve it is difficult for him but when it comes to you... he'd do anything🥺

thank u in advance hermana💖

Anything for you sis! 💖 @cassiemartzz

Physical touch + Quality time (Aaron's love language)

Hotch is one of the people in the team with the strongest attachment to his love language, which means that he struggles to use other love languages to express his feelings. However, something very important about Aaron is that he's always open to listening.

He will have a hard time initiating the touches, but if you're straight forward with him and explain how important it is that he holds your hand in public, runs his arm over your shoulders, kisses your chick every once in a while, he will do his best to please you.

You will have to me patient with him, though, when he's overly stressed or in a bad mood, he might forget about the agreements you have come to, but a gentle reminder, that's not pushy, will go a long way. Don't be scared to start the contact, more often than not he will reciprocate.

If he doesn't, though, don't take it the wrong way. His job requires all of his senses to be active, he can get overwhelmed pretty easily. If he rejected you in a particularly harsh way, let him know, he will never try to make you feel unloved.

Make sure to compensate his efforts with quality time on your side as well, otherwise we might feel like he's the one giving everything in the relationship. Dinner, movies, even bed action, your sole attention should be on him when you're lucky enough to have him around.

Scenario:

You made your way, secure enough, towards the offices of the BAU. Not the first time you had been in that office, even if your marriage to the unit chief was rather recent. Familiar faces, his coworkers and friends with whom you had formed bonds with, welcomed you with hugs and smiles.

Even Garcia was summoned from her lair to provide you with attention, everyone around you simply smiled at your presence. They were all witnesses to the happiness you had brought their boss, and they were forever thankful for that.

"I'm not kidding, I have filed official FBI complaints on Hotch for not bringing you more often." Penelope told you. You took a second glance at JJ just to confirm the statement, and she simply nodded with certain exhaustion. The fact made you break into a loud laugh, the kind of laugh that would resonate throughout the entire office.

The harmonious, and unmistakable, melody snapped Aaron's attention to the window of his office, which was your initial destination until you got held back by a barrier of FBI agents asking about your day. Once he had confirmed you were the source of it, he dropped every pen and paper he had at hand to reach the point where you wer standing.

"Honey," he made his way in between Morgan and Reid to reach you "what are you doing here?" after his words, he took a step forward to give you a gentle hug.

"Hey, babe, I'm just dropping this off." you raised a black gym-style bag "I was doing laundry and noticed you took the old go-back instead of the clean one."

Aaron grabbed the object with a frustrated and slightly embarrassed sigh "I must've forgotten to empty it when I got from my last trip, I'm sorry you had to come all the way here for it."

"Don't worry handsome, I love having an excuse to stop by and have a little chat with this lovely group of people." you said as you gestured to the agents and everyone seemed to blush at your statement.

"Which reminds me, Garcia, take down the current complaint before Strauss actually gets to it." the man glared in the blonde's direction. She muttered a quiet 'yes sir' and lowered her sight.

"Well, as much as I enjoy coming to the serial-killer bat-cave, I actually have to pick up Jack from your Jessica's, you guys have a safe trip." you directed your words at everyone "and, see you when you get back?" the last sentence you directed only to Aaron.

He nodded slightly and took another step forward. His right arm curled around your waist, and his left one dragging your face closer by the base of your neck. His lips smashed into yours in a passionate kiss that lasted around three seconds, which was two seconds too long for an appropriate workplace kiss, by the way. Once he pulled away, his eyes found yours "I love you."

"Love you, too." you barely muttered, still dizzy from the kiss. Without even noticing the rest of the people that stared at the two of you, you turned on your heels to walk back out of the office.

Reality hit Aaron like a truck when he met multiple eyes of flustered subordinates that had just admired the entire R-13 show the two of you had put on.

"Mazeltov." Rossi joked, earning quiet chuckles from the rest.

"Everybody back to work." his tone had gone back to commanding, not the high pitched caring one he wore when you were around. Without glancing at them any further, he moved back to his office to resume his activities.

"On my 30th birthday he gave me a handshake." Reid pointed out disappointedly.

"If you want a kiss, you have to look like that, kid." Morgan mocked, referring to you. The rest of the team laughed the situation off and everyone returned to their duties as ordered.

Aaron couldn't help to beat himself over it for a little bit, but after further inspection, he didn't care. Many things he promised the day you got married, and many he wasn't sure he would be able to hold, but if there was something he had vowed to do without fail, was that he would never leave your side without a kiss goodbye, a proper kiss goodbye.

#aaron x reader #hotch x reader #aaron hotcher x reader #blurb: mine #criminal minds love languages #blurb: hotchner #blurb: criminal minds #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner/reader #aaron hotchner fanfic #hotch fanfic #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic

[miniimapp]

Can u Do Jesse X Reader Headcanons Pls

Gen ;; Fluff - Headcanons

Warnings ;; None

Proofread + edited ;; Probably not, no

Auth. Note ;; AOSJODBOBE YESSS JESSEEEEE - i love this man with my whole heart i can't help it please-

I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG !! YOU WEREN'T FORGOTTEN JUST SITTING (COMPLETED) IN MY DRAFTS FOR NO REAL REASON AHSJSDJFBV

Enjoy !! <3

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Jesse is definitely one dramatic ass man

Like,, romantic gestures aren't uncommon in your relationship at all but when Jesse goes all out, he goes all out

I'm talking dim the lights with scattered rose petals on the bed as slow, romantic music plays on a gramophone in the background kinda all out

And he loves to do these sorts of things for you

Jesse knows that he can't always be around for you when you need him to be and he feels terrible about it

Mans has some issues with guilt and anxiety that we can get to another day

So he likes to make it up to you with big gestures and time spent together

Spending time with you helps Jesse relax and unwind

His love language is quality time

Jesse isn't an introvert or extrovert - he's a you-trovert

(that was so stupid but so help me it's staying in)

After long days of work Jesse is tired and clingy - though he tries his best not to be

Hold him,, just- just please hold him

Just being with you gives him the motivation to continue the day

Jesse is the biggest advocate for both of your privacy

Like,, if you guys aren't public or anything he will savour that shit like a drowning man savours his last breath of oxygen

Jesse definitely clings to what privacy he has left

He feels like a lot of what he wanted to stay private slipped through his fingers like sand and he mourns his losses deeply

Jesse loves his fans and being a part of 4*TOWN but he can't help but wish it didn't come at the cost of his privacy

Though sometimes he finds it really hard to stay quiet about you

Like,, impossibly hard

The other boys, specifically Robaire, will have to cover his mouth before he accidentally goes on a tangent about how ethereal you look 24/7

Jesse uses pet names a lot

He likes to have titles and names that mean something special - that are reserved just for the two of you

His go to pet names are: darling, love, sweetheart, sugar and honey

I have a feeling Jesse hates using baby and babe

Like,, if you use them it's fine, he loves it !!

But he hates how they sound when he says them.

If you're uncomfortable with pet names not to worry !!

Jesse will absolutely try his best to not let them slip out

If you didn't clue in earlier, Jesse feels all of his emotions very deeply

He's used to trying to bottle them up and feels uncomfortable talking about them

Jesse is kinda of the therapist friend in that regard,, very much not the healthiest when it comes to expressing himself

His art is a way that he chooses to let out his emotions without talking

I think deep down Jesse really does want to talk about things like this with the people he trusts but he just never knows where to start and how to go about beginning a conversation like that

Take notice of his behaviour - he'll start practically living in his art studio under the guise of having a creative overload

Jesse will also space out more or sometimes he'll hyperfocus instead

Just ask him what's up, let him know that he can talk to you and if actually saying words is too much he can always write down what he wants to say

Build a bridge between the two of you and give Jesse the option to cross over, to open himself up to you

He will,, just give it some time and don't push beyond your initial reaching out

PLAYING WITH HAIR AHSDIUBDF

This man loves to play with your hair

Specifically braiding it, mans loves a good braid

And hey if you want wanna run your fingers through his hair Jesse definitely isn't gonna complain

And he definitely uses so many hair care products

Jesse will tell you the best hair masks to buy for any and all hair types

If you ask him to help you take care of your hair or want to help him with his he will be over the moon !!

IF HE SEES YOU HELPING HIS KIDS WITH THEIR HAIR ??

MELTING

IMMEDIATELY ON THE FLOOR CRYING

HE'S SO GONE FOR YOU ISTG-

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i am so so sorry this took so long !! this has just been sitting in my drafts (completed) for the longest time because i've been so focused on the theater au that ISN'T EVEN FINISHED YET AKEBDIWBFSIB

hope you enjoyed <3

#4town jesse #4*town jesse #4town #4town jesse x reader #4*town jesse x reader #4town headcanons #headcanons #4town x reader #x reader

[whats-wild-to-you]

can u write a scene where they has a 1night stand and it become a often thing

both side catch feeling and one time after Jay going confess but she start crying becoz she thought he going to end it

happy ending where they tgt plz

sorry for my english and thx u :)

your english is great babes ☺️ don't worry 😉 I hope you like it 😘 _____________________________________________

You stumbled over something as Jay pushed you inside his apartment. You began making out the moment the elevator doors closed and knew exactly how it would end.

Kicking both of your shoes off your feet, you allowed Jay to guide you through his spacious apartment, towards the bedroom. Your lips were on his, hungrily devouring him, and he was holding onto your waist, unwilling to let go.

Eventually you made it onto his bedroom where he unceremoniously threw you on his bed. He got rid of his clothes in record time, which you took as a sign to take your own clothes off too.

Right! There's no time for romance or foreplay. Just get naked and get to it!

Your eyes were trained on him as he crawled onto the bed, inching closer and closer to you. No words were needed. You both knew better. This was a one-night stand. There would be no repetition, no continuation. No happy ending.

An hour later, once you were sure Jay was fast asleep, you carefully got out of bed, walking out of the bedroom, holding onto your clothes. You got dressed in the foyer, all while contemplating leaving Jay a note.

It sounded stupid the minute you thought of it. What would you even write on it? Your number? And what if he never called you again? Thank him for the sex? Also stupid.

In the end you accepted the fact that it was better to make a clean cut.

After a month you got a call one day at work. Since it was an unknown number, you didn't pick up. The number called two more times that day. The next morning you woke up to three more missed calls.

"What the hell?" You were about to block the number when you remembered your one-night stand a month ago. Of course you hadn't really forgotten about it, about Jay, but day by day, little by little you forced yourself to think of something else whenever your thoughts traveled back to him.

"Could it really be Jay?" You asked yourself and immediately shook your head.

No. Impossible! Why would he make an effort to seek me out?

But because you were extremely curious, and also needed those pesky calls to stop, you promised yourself to pick up next time that number called.

It was past midnight when your phone rang. You were already in bed, half asleep, when you heard it, vaguely ringing in the distance.

"Hello?"

'Hi, is this Bora?'

You listened in as the person on the line breathed heavily and nodded your head, before realizing that they couldn't see you.

"Yes."

'Hi, it's-'

"I know who you are!" You squeaked into the phone and immediatelly facepalmed yourself, trying desperately to regain your composure.

Jay laughed and the sound made butterflies erupt in your stomach.

'I hope I didn't wake you up.'

"I wasn't sleeping." You lied, anxiously waiting for his next words.

'Can I see you?'

Yes! Yes, yes, yes!!!

"Umm..."

'Please!'

You melted right then and there, immediately agreeing to meet him. After ending the call, you sent him a message with your address.

You didn't know how much time you had left before he would show up, so you got out of bed and cleaned your apartment up a bit before you went back to your bedroom, rummaging through your closet.

Then a thought hit you.

Why does he want to see me?

It must be for sex.

You answered your own question seconds later.

If that’s the case do I really have to get dressed?

But if that isn't a booty call? You’ll look stupid answering the door in your underwear.

Don't be ridiculous! Of course it's about sex!

In the end you opted for a pair of light grey sweat shorts and a tank top.

A knock on the door startled you, and as soon as you let Jay in, his lips were on yours. He wasted no time with chitchat and cut right to the chase. Silently asking you where your bedroom was, you pointed with your head in its direction and Jay lifted you up in his lap, carrying you all the way there.

This time the sex was different. An equal amount of hunger and passion, but Jay was taking his time. Enjoyed it more, and made it more enjoyable for you too.

Afterwards he didn't leave. It surprised you but you didn't dare say anything, too scared he might take it the wrong way and think you didn't want him there.

But you did. His presence was soothing. It didn't feel awkward seeing him in your apartment.

After traipsing to the kitchen to get him some water, you got back in bed as he protectively put an arm around you. You were too tired but didn't want to sleep.

Jay's fingers brushing through your hair made it nearly impossible to not doze off.

Suddenly his low, raspy voice filled the room.

"I looked for you everywhere, asked anyone who might know you."

"Why?"

"I wanted to see you again!" He responded as a matter of fact, and you found yourself falling asleep.

Somehow these nightly visits continued. He either came to your place or you went to his. There was only little, sometimes no talking at all. It didn't bother you at first, but then you found yourself thinking about what all this meant.

Are we dating?

Is it just sex?

None of you left afterwards, you always ended up sleeping together in the same bed. There was a sense of intimacy in the mornings too, no awkwardness or shyness. As if you two had been together for a long time.

Even so, to protect you from the inevitable heartbreak that was around the corner, you decided to not read too much into it. Nor would you seek a discussion and demand answers. If he wanted just the sex, that's what you would give him.

Another month had past in which you saw each other almost daily. There was a sense of familiarity in the way you treated each other. You would often spend hours together, eat, watch movies, or just talk. It wasn't just about the sex anymore.

While there were too many unanswered questions, one thing was crystal-freaking-clear. You had fallen head over heels in love with Jay.

Too many nights you lied awake, asking yourself if he felt for you even a sliver of what you felt for him. What would he think if he ever found out about your feelings for him?

[Jay's P.O.V.]

Bora screamed out my name as the orgasm washed over her, then collapsed on top of me. Satisfied, I put my arms around her, and felt her lips trailing kisses on my chest.

"Wow!" She exclaimed, slightly out of breath.

"Yeah. Wow."

Although the sex was great, and getting better each time, tonight I found myself getting distracted. Fortunately, Bora was too exhausted to notice that.

A million thoughts were running through my mind, but the one thing I kept asking myself over and over again was if she felt it too.

I was falling for her. Hard. But because I didn't know what she thought, I decided to put up a front.

I had been cautioning myself since the first time I showed up at her place after I had tracked her down.

Don't catch feelings!

But I never listened to the voice of reason, so why would I obey now?

The truth was, I didn't even realize I was falling in love with her. It happened so naturally, and one night after sex, I found myself pulling her close and rocking her to sleep. I chalked up the fact that she didn't protest to exhaustion.

"Bora?"

"Hmmm."

"Are you asleep?"

"Hmmm."

Tomorrow!, I told myself, as my own eyelids got kinda heavy.

The next day I stayed for breakfast, even though I was supposed to meet with my manager.

"When was the last time you stayed over for breakfast?" Bora chuckled happily as she placed the omelet into my plate.

"I admit, work has been hectic."

"That's one way to put it."

I watched her chew contently on her food and thought that now was as good a time as ever.

"There's something we need to talk about."

My tone was unnecessarily serious, but I only noticed that when Bora put her fork down and looked at me solemnly.

Suddenly my throat felt dry, words stuck in it and beads of sweat formed on my forehead. My eyes darted around. Am I really doing this? Here? Over breakfast?

It's long overdue, dude! No time for candles and romance.

I opened my mouth to speak, when I saw Bora's expression change in an instant. In a matter of seconds she was bawling her eyes out, big tears dripping from her chin, making her omelet mushy.

"What's wrong?" My chair dropped on the floor as I got up and knelt down in front of her.

"Why are you crying?"

"I- ugh- You- you- ugh-" She was hyperventilating, having trouble breathing and speaking in complete and coherent sentences.

"Breathe! Calm down! Tell me why you're crying?"

I held her wet cheeks in my palms, locking eyes with her, reminding her again and again to breathe and calm down.

Eventually her sobbing slowed down enough for her to take a few deep breaths. She looked at me with tear-filled and puffy eyes before she spoke.

"You're going to leave me!" She managed to get out before erupting in a new round of loud sobs.

"What? No! Why would you think that?"

"Because - because you're bored with me!"

"No, I'm not!"

It was pointless trying to assure her I wasn't going anywhere. She got it in her head that I was abandoning her and nothing could change that. So I held her in my arms, rocking her back and forth, allowing her tears to seep through my shirt.

It felt like hours had passed before her crying subsided enough for me to get a word in.

"Listen to me! I didn't mean to scare you, okay? I'm sorry! The reason I wanted to talk to you about was that I-"

I stopped myself before I could complete the sentence. I had lost momentum. Instead, I held her close to my chest.

"You don't want to get rid of me?"

"No! Quite the contrary!"

"Meaning?"

"I'm in love with you, you fool!"

Right! Just rip the band-aid off! Quick and painful.

I didn't know what I was expecting her reaction would be, but the one thing I wasn't expecting was the one thing that happened.

Bora started crying again.

"Oh, no! No, no. Don't cry!"

But the crying sounded different now. I noticed it when she wrapped her arms around my neck, whispering close to my ear.

"I'm in love with you, too!"

#jay park #more soju please #park jaybum #park jaebum #park jaebeom #ask request #anon request #jay park fluff

[delusional-mishaps]

Hello it's the anon that binged everything in a day which I now prefer to go by 🌺. I'm just wondering if you had any outertale dating headcanons since there's hardly any content for them qnd I love them, if not that's cool!! I hope you do have a lovely day/night!! - 🌺 anon

outertale!!! i feel like those guys are forgotten som uch,,, thank oyu,,,,

Callisto:

he is very small,,, and very fragile,,, so HOLD HIM GENTLY 😡😡

yea he loves to be held <333 carry him around like football.

or baby <33

very cuddly!! my littol cuddle bug <33 he likes to lay on top of you like a cat

he is very easily flustered to the point that you could call him any pet name and he would blush no matter how many times you've used it

he's also a very nervous person ISNOFF so you know that meme that's like "he asked for no pickles." yea that's u two and he's like hiding behind you while you ask

i feel like a baby him too much please dont baby him he is a grown ass man he can and will swear and he is in no way innocent

...but he's really cute

he likes to do spiderman-style kisses cuz he's a nerd and can turn?? gravity off?? so he'll float himself upside down just to kiss you like spiderman

speaking of spiderman he's an actual nerd and he loves comic books and stuff

that's not a dating headcanon srry

honestly all he wants in life is to just lay with you in a quiet dark room.

KING of pillow talk

"if i turned into a worm would you still love me?"

despite how much i talk about cuddling, his love language is words of affirmation (both giving and receiving). please tell him you love him. words mean more than actions to him 😕

Pandora:

he is a very sassy guy and being his s/o exposes you to Extra Sass

he's also a very big prankster and he likes to pull pranks on you a lot. nothing harmful!!! maybe he'll put another spoon of sugar into your coffee and call that a prank

he's very very silly and he loves to make you laugh. bad day? well not anymore with him around

very very very very very VERY affectionate. forehead kisses, nose kisses, cheek kisses. he'll kiss you anywhere he can reach

he especially likes your tummy <33

unlike his brother, he will hold YOU like baby!!! or football. no matter your size. he is very strong!!!!!

"hey lets go take a cruise around space. no don't worry undyne can rope us back in she does it all the time"

he literally PURPOSEFULLY finds ways to free float away from the moon or whatever they're on he's literally so funny i love him so much

he would be an avid tiktok user and he would force you (it's entirely your choice he doesn't actually force you) to do silly dances with him. he's also probably started a few trends too tbh

he is a fan of very basic, "generic" pet names -> honey, sweetie, babe, etc.

he's VERY FLIRTY!!!!! like. VERY. he'll try to fluster you anytime anywhere. you're so cute when he's got you all flustered <333

#🌺 anon #jester writes #outertale #outertale sans x reader #outertale sans #outertale papyrus x reader #outertale papyrus #outertale x reader #headcanons #dont look at me #i always forget how to tag #i love writing dating headcanons #but #they're super hard cuz i'm like 'idfk what dating includes don't ask me anything ever i'm literally automatic (aromantic)' #KSNSLMSKSJF

[hugheshugs]

Hii!! Can I request 100. “Why didn’t you tell me?” with barzy??🥰

hi nommie !! this was my first time writing for someone i dont write imagines for so it was weird- but i feel like the blurb itself is okay, so i hope u enjoy it !! thank u so much for the request <3

warnings: reader has a breakdown

"why didn't you tell me?"

you had a fear of being alone. growing up, you were always surrounded by your family and barely had any time to yourself. as much as you hated it then, you miss it now.

it had taken you a while to learn to live on your own. it was scary and something you'd known would take a lot of getting used to. when it finally happened, you were beginning to feel okay again.

not long after that, you moved in with mat and felt all your progress unraveling. you'd never tell him about your worries, not wanting to be the clingy girlfriend he didn't need.

you kept to yourself, but after a couple days of him being on the road, you couldn't take it any longer. you sat in the corner of your shared bedroom with the lights off, knees tucked to your chin while you rocked yourself back and forth in a failed attempt at calming yourself.

you tried not to be loud, considering that the walls of your apartment building were pretty thin. silent tears streamed down your face but it didn't take long for your quiet facade to fold, sobs now emitting from your mouth as your body trembled.

the front door opening was a sound out of your reach. you'd forgotten that mat was coming home tonight and when his arms wrapped around your shaking frame, you jumped out of your skin.

"hey— baby, it's just me," he reassured quickly, cupping your cheeks in his hands. "i'm sorry i scared you."

he wasn't sure what to say. concern was all he felt, but there were endless possibilities for why you could have been in the state that you were. the thoughts running through his mind clouded almost all his judgment.

his hand pulled your head into his chest as he hoped to provide you with some sort of ease. you wrapped your arms around his neck, almost falling on top of him as you cried into him.

"hey, everything's okay. i'm here, y/n," he soothed, rubbing his hands over your back.

when you didn't respond, he took it upon himself to pry without trying to hurt your feelings. "want to tell me what's wrong, hm? what's got you so worked up? we can fix whatever it is, i promise."

you shook your head and he moved you onto his lap. the feeling of his fingertips on your skin was just what you needed. he made you feel safe and protected and not alone.

"i-i was scared," you whimper shakily, holding onto him as if someone would take him away.

"why were you scared? did something happen, love?" he asked hesitantly, trying not to overreact although his heart was galloping in his chest.

"no, i just—" your voice cracked and you stopped yourself, waiting a couple moments for your cries to subside.

the warmth of you breathing heavily against his neck had never felt as good as it did now. it scared him when you were writhing in his hold, so knowing you were beginning to calm down also calmed the blaring alarms in his mind.

your fingers played with the hairs at the back of his neck as you sniffled. "i have a fear. but you can't— can't laugh, okay?"

"i'd never laugh at you because of a fear, baby, you know that."

he felt you nod against him before confessing: "i have a fear of being alone."

a sharp pang of guilt hit his gut. you had a fear of being alone and that was exactly what he had been leaving you to be this entire time.

"you have a what— why didn't you tell me?"

"i didn't want you to worry. i'm usually good at keeping it in but today i.. i don't know what happened."

"babe, you don't need to keep it in," he grabbed your chin and forced you to look at him.

"i need you to tell me these things so we can work them out together," he said seriously, searching for your eyes in the dark. "do you understand me?"

"i'm sorry—"

"no, don't be sorry. i'm sorry, okay? we'll work on this together, you have my word."

he uses the hand wrapped around your waist to rub small circles against your skin and you close your eyes in delight, reaching up to place a slightly damp kiss on his lips.

"that was salty."

"mat!"

"i'm sorry," he laughed, making you smile. "but i mean it, i'm going to help you so this doesn't happen again. i can't stand the thought of something happening to you when i'm not here."

the instant change in his tone made you giddy, even though you knew he was being completely serious.it felt good to know that he was always on your side and you couldn't have asked for more.

#mat barzal #ny isles #ny islanders #islanders #islanders imagine #islanders blurb #mat barzal x reader #mat barzal imagine #hockey blurbs #saturday under 1k #riri's blurb night #riri's blurbs #nhl blurb

[whorefordazai]

hi hi its me!! im just feeling really bad and holding my tears rn. can i get anything with aku/chuu/dazai, whoever u deem more fit! they are my comfort bbys. running away from home, even if its just for a night,maybe going to some rooftop or a drive at night. my situation at home isnt the best and i feel rly caged and anxious bc i don't have friends to go out with when my situation gets overwhelming so i just break down in my room haha. anyways, i hope this is good enough? just some comfort or validating words!! sending hugs to u rai, ilysm. thank u for doing this its basically therapy for me ajsbdhd ❤️🌷

I hope things get better for you bestie, love you <33

“Till forever falls apart”

ft. dazai x gn! reader

genre: fluff, comfort

wc: 1.5k (I think🥲)

synopsis: running away from home with dazai yup yup !! simply a big fat cliche but it’s my guilty pleasure of fluff 🌝 includes a lot of kisses, hand holding, and comfort 🧍‍♂️

Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick the fucking tock.

The clock made no noise, but you imagined it did. After all, that was what usually happened when one planned to sneak out during ungodly hours of the night. Looking at the time, it read 3:54 am.

You couldn’t stay here for one more second.

Swiftly, yet quietly lifting off the covers from your body, you got up from bed, and made your way to the window. It wasn’t sunrise yet. The sky was still dark, the streets peacefully quiet. The street lamp flickered, the airy fog was light against the ground.

It was perfect.

It wasn’t perfectly planned—but knowing Dazai, it wouldn’t go completely wrong. Feeling suffocated and unable to stay home, you had spontaneously called him two hours prior, around 2 am. His disoriented sleepy voice had picked up the call.

“...Hm? Babe? What time is it...” Dazai’s delicate husky voice spoke through the phone.

You could almost imagine him letting out a yawn and stretching out in his futon, brown curls resting against his face, his eyes tearing up from the yawn. You mentally cursed yourself when a smile appeared on your lips from hearing the mere sound of his voice.

You cleared your throat. “Yeah, it’s 2 am. Listen I...” your words stopped before you could continue. You gulped. Would he even be up for this? Would he be up for running away?

Dazai seemed to notice your voice falter. He spoke more hushed this time. “Are you okay? Are you safe? Do you need me to get you?”

You stayed silent for a few seconds before exhaling.

“No...well, yes but no. And...no you don’t need to come get me. I just wanted to hear your voice, Osamu. Thanks—you can go back to sleep now.”

You bit your lip, your finger hovered over the hang up button.

“ADADADA WAIT!—“

You raised an eyebrow. Dazai’s voice now spoke louder, as if his tone was full of mischief. “Huh?”

“Darling, I wasn’t sleeping anyway. In what universe would Dazai Osamu be sleeping at 2 am? C’mon sweetheart—you know me better than that.” He chuckled.

Your breathe hitched for a second—and then you laughed. It was a quiet airy laugh. He’s right...what was I so worried about?

“Okay then,” you giggled, voice laced with a plan.

“What do say about running away with me at 4 am?”

“Why that is...MARVELOUS!! Running away is what I do best!”

You laughed again, still managing to keep a hushed voice. “Alright—then come pick me up at 4 am will you? 4 am sharp.”

“You got it, babe.” You could almost picture his devilish smirk and golden brown eyes glinting with mischief.

The clock now read 4:01 am. Dazai was definitely here.

You gulped as you opened the window in your room, careful not to make even the tiniest noise.

And there he was.

It was barely noticeable, but you could see Dazai’s figure between the dark shadows in the car. As you both made eye contact, a smile appeared on your lips.

Just to be cheesy, you blew him a kiss, and he dramatically caught—pressing his fingers to his lips.

Getting out of the window was the easy part—actually leaving without anyone noticing was going to be difficult. It would’ve been even more difficult if Dazai wasn’t here to help you.

“Hi.” You smiled, sitting down on the passenger seat next to him.

“Hi.” He smiled back. The two of you looked at each other for a few seconds, before Dazai moved closer and put a hand on your cheek, immediately locking lips with you.

Hands immediately wrapping around his neck, you smiled into the kiss. The butterflies in your stomach exploded when his hand wrapped around your waist, squeezing your hip. When his tongue brushed against your bottom lip, you breathlessly chuckled and pulled back.

“Hurry, let’s get out of here! We can continue this later~” You scratched the back of your neck, cheeks flushed pink.

“Off we go then!” He smirked, eyes looking forward and hands shifting the car gear.

And you were off.

Probably driving around seventy miles per hour, Dazai rolled down the windows and turned on the radio for some music. You grinned, hearing the sound of the breeze down the music.

“This is—why didn’t we do this sooner!?” You laughed, feeling the wind flush against your face. You looked over to Dazai, who had an equally huge smile on his face, his brown curls being swept back by the wind.

“Y/n—we’re about to drive through a tunnel. Peek your head out the car roof! I swear, it’ll feel amazing!” Dazai beamed, sliding open the car roof so that you would be ready.

“Huh?! Are you sure—”

“I’m very fucking sure!!” He laughed.

“OH—okay then!” A smirk appeared on your lips as you stood up and peaked out half your body through the roof.

It was fucking amazing.

The tunnel was brightly lit with yellow lights, the wind was blowing through your hair. In that moment...hell, you couldn’t even explain how you were feeling in this moment.

As the car stopped on a red light, you sat back down in your seat and closed the car roof. Dazai smirked. “That was cool, right?”

“Very fucking cool. Although, next time I’d like to do in your arms.” You smiled. He raised his eyebrows, and grabbed your hand, kissing your knuckles.

A sudden chill went through your body as the wind blew colder. You shivered, rubbing your arms up and down. You chuckled to yourself. I must’ve forgotten to grab a hoodie in all this rush…

“Here, put this on.” Dazai chuckled, leaning to the back seat and grabbing a black hoodie. You eyed him carefully, grabbing the hoodie he was handing to you.

Putting it on, you immediately felt a sense of warmth envelope your skin. Shivering once again, you hugged yourself. It smelled exactly like him.

“Thanks, Osamu…” you softly smiled. He glanced your way for a few seconds before nodding. “No problemo!”

“...No, seriously.” You lightly scoffed with a small smile on your face. You put your hand on his.

“Without you...I would’ve still been stuck there. You have no idea how much you’ve helped….”

Your words were stopped when you felt Dazai grab your hand and intertwine your fingers. He turned his head towards you, a smile on his lips. “I know...call me anytime, okay? I wanna see you all the time.”

You pressed a quick kiss on his lips, sitting back in your seat. Your eyes were practically lit up as you rubbed small circles on Dazai’s knuckles.

You felt simply...the only word to describe it was euphoric. The rush in your bones. It was so fucking cliche, running away with your boyfriend at 4 am.

It was so perfectly cliche that you couldn’t help but laugh to yourself.

“We’re here,” Dazai’s voice sang as he slowed down the car to a complete stop. You looked ahead—it was fairly dark, only a few street laps illuminating the building in front of you.

“An abandoned building…?” Your mouth opened, eyes a little wide.

“Yup! Now come on….” Dazai smiled, pulling your hood over your head and squeezing your face. He moved closer and pressed several kisses on your cheeks, nose, and forehead. Practically anywhere he could get access too.

“H-hey! that’s—a lot—of—kisses!!” You managed to say between breaths as he continued to kiss your lips every time you began to talk. Both his hands were squeezing your cheeks like a baby.

He suddenly laughed, the soft grip on your cheeks now turning into a caress. Dazai’s thumb rubbed soft circles against your cheek. He seemed to quiet down, but he was now staring into your eyes

“Uh...are we gonna go inside or…?” You raised an eyebrow, gently tucking a piece of his hair behind his ear. It was soft, just like how you remembered it to be.

“Yeah...let’s go.” He smirked, hands leaving your face and opening his own door to get out of the car. You got out a second after him, feet hitting the soft dirt.

Dazai suddenly clasped your hand in his, pulling you with him as he dashed to the entrance. Your eyes flew open. “W-wait! Dazai, you seem really excited—“

“No time to speak, darling—were on the move!!” He laughed, pulling the both of you up endless stairs. You felt an enabling rush as Dazai ran ahead of you, hands held together. The buzz in your body, the euphoric smile that never left your lips.

“We’re here,” Dazai gasped out, coming to a halt. The breeze gently blew across the huge clearing. You rested your hands on your knees for a second, just to catch your breath.

“We’re...on the roof…?” You bit your lip, suppressing the huge idiotic smile that was about to make its way onto your face. Dazai nodded, wrapping an arm around your waist.

“This is...beautiful.” The roof was dark, it was ghostly quiet. You could only see the city lights from across the railing. Dazai walked to the edge, hand still intertwined with yours.

He leaned against the metal bar, hands gripping the pole with a huge smile on his lips.

God, he looked so beautiful. His brown hair was gently flowing against the breeze, the bridge of his nose seemed to perfectly shape the rest of his face. Leaning your head against his shoulder, you smiled.

“You’re not gonna ask me to jump off the roof with you, hm?” You whispered as a joke. He glanced at you for half a second before wrapping his whole arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his chest.

“No...not today, darling.”

His eyes seemed glassy, but somehow the clearest you’d ever seen. You blinked a couple times, before finally settling your face back into his shoulder.

“You know,” he mumbled into your hair. “I look at you in a way I thought I could never look at someone.”

You stayed silent, both your hearts beating. He continued.

“I look at you, with love in my eyes. Love I didn’t know was in me...love I didn’t know I was capable of feeling.” He licked his lips with half lidded eyes. “I look at you with the love I thought I had lost.”

You buried your face deeper into his chest. “I love you so much, Dazai.” You whispered. He kissed the top of your head, humming in response.

“I wanna stay like this forever.” You mumbled, eyes suddenly becoming foggy, remembering you had no one back home.

“I know.” He softly whispered, kissing the top of your head.

“I wanna stay with you forever.”

“I know.”

“Just with you, Dazai. No one else.”

“I know.”

“But we can’t...it won’t last forever.”

“...I know.”

He suddenly wrapped his arms around your whole body, hugging you as if you were going to disappear. One of his arms circled your waist, while the other held the back of your head.

“Then we’ll stay like this—till forever falls apart.” You mumbled, inhaling his sweet scent.

He nodded, kissing the tip of your nose. “Till forever falls apart.”

a/n: a part of this was inspired by the movie perks of being a wallflower, I’m sure you can tell which part :)

tag list: @uwu-monster101 @14th-century-homosexual-spirit @dai-tsukki-desu @i4gumi @cross-crye @starglow-xx @ranposlover @bsdwhore @arimakii @malewifegirlboss @shadyteacup @smadhuman @knjksj0301 @neighborhoodfriendlysimp @rirk-ke @mushroomplantasia @luftdum @pickleisrandom @3-am-depression @its-chuuya-bitch @the-wholesome-ranpo

#bungou stray dogs #bsd imagines #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd x reader #bsd dazai #osamu dazai #dazai osamu #dazai imagines #dazai x reader #dazaibsd #dazai x y/n #dazai x you #bungou stray dogs dazai #dazai fluff #dazai drabble #bsd fic #bsd fluff #bsd fanfic #bsd drabble

[eternalmx]

Orientation | Pt. 2

anon requested : Hiii can u do u part 2 of 'Orientation'? Hehe

☁️a/n : djdjdjhd. I laughed pretty hard when I saw this request;; thank you for liking the first part enough to ask for a second part! you wish is my command, I hope you enjoy angel. ✨

warnings: smut,there's some fluff too no worries.

wc | 1.1k

{12:14𝓹𝓶} • "Happy five months!" changkyun, yelled as you walked into his dorm. He had a single dorm which made it easier for you to drop by anytime you wanted.

"Happy five months!" you yelled back, smiling as you walked into the kitchen area.

"I was making us lunch, but it's not turning out that good, so I ordered pizza and it should be here soon" he said, turning to look at you as your eyes scanned the mess of pans and burnt food. You bit your lip to hold in a laugh but he laughed so you could.

"Okay, don't be mad?" you say, walking over to him and wrapping you arms around his neck as his arms wrapped around your waist.

"What?" he asked, softly pecking her lips and looks at her curiously.

"I know we said no presents but..." she said, running back to the hallway to grab a bag and presenting it to him with a ta da hand motion.

"Baby, if it makes you feel better, I got you one too" he said, opening a cabniet and pulling out a bag.

"Guess we both didn't listen huh?" she asked, as they traded bags. "Open yours first, I want to see how you like it!" she says, clapping excitedly.

"Babe...NO WAY!" he said, opened the bag and pulling out a box filled with tech accessories for his little studio he's been building.

"Do you like it? We can always return some of the stuff if you don't like it or I got the wrong stuff" she says, rubbing her hands nervously together.

"I love it but..."

"But what? Did I get the wrong stuff?" she asked, walking over to him.

"No, it's perfect but my gift... Well, my gift wasn't so thoughtful to say the least. Now it makes mine looks bad" he said, scratching his neck and laughing a little nervous giggle.

"C'mon babe, it can't be that bad! Lemme see" she said, picking the bag from the counter about to open it before he stops her.

"Before you open it, I have a plan that goes with it but if it makes you uncomfortable in any way we don't have to okay?" he said, holding her hand tightly, she nodded slightly, butterflies gathering in her stomach. She pulled herself up on the counter, bag in her lap, and started pulling out the small bits of tissue paper. She bit her lip to hold in a laugh forming. Her hand picked up the gift, which turned out to be a vibrator.

"This is what you're so worked up about?" she laughs, placing the bag to the side and holding up the toy.

"So you're into it?" he asked, laughing into her chest, both his hands resting on either side of her hips. She laughs with him holding his head in her hands.

"Look at me, this is a normal things for couples to talk about. I don't get why you always get so shy about it. Yeah I'm into it because it's with you. But before I fully agree you have to tell me about this 'plan' you have." she says, holding his cheeks in he rhands, gently kissing him on the lips.

"Remember you can say no okay? I just thought it'd be fun. I was watching a movie and thought, "hey that seems like fun" but we don't have to if you're uncom-" she cuts him off telling him to hurry up and stop being so nervous. He begins to explain his plans making her jaw drop but also making her cheeks red.

"You want me to wear this all day? In our lectures and all?" she said, waving the packaging around.

"We don't have to, I know it's stupid" he said, trying to take it away from you.

"No no, I- I want to but I'm nervous. What if we get caught?" she says. He smiles and leans into her.

"That's the fun part. It's all you. You keep quiet while I have the remote and control it and we go from there. Sounds good?" he asks.

"I can't believe we're going to do this" she said, hiding her face in his hands. He laughs and kisses all over her face slightly.

"Think of it like this" he said, hands moving up her legs as she sits on the counter. Her eyes following his hands as they made their way to her thighs. He squeezed lightly causing her to moan softly.

"You be a good girl for me and stay quiet and not get caught. I promise to bring you back here and make your night worth while." he said, hands teasingly trailing the hemline of her dress.

"And if we get caught?" she asked, her breathing becoming heavier. His hands pulling her closer to the edge of the counter so his growing crotch was pressed against her heat. His hips bucking into hers rubbing against the thin fabric of her panties. Her head fell back in pleasure as she moved her hips against his. Her hands reaching for his belt when he reached to stop her.

"Someone's eager yeah? If we get caught we'll be humiliated probably, all jokes aside, someone's eager yeah?" he says, laughing lowly. His hands pushing past her panties and rubbing soft circles against her clit. His lips attacking her neck both harsh and softly. Her hands resting on both sides of her on the counter. Small moans escaping her lips.

"P-please" she moaned softly, her hands running through his hair pushing his head into her neck more and allowing him more access to decorate her in his marks.

"Please what?" he says softly, slipping two fingers in her. Her hips moving slowly against his fingers as he pulled away from her neck.

"Please keep going" she says, hips softly pushing against his fingers, he smiled pulling out his fingers and smiling at her. She let out a breathy whine from the kiss is pleasure.

"Not so fast babygirl" he said, taking out the vibrator that was long forgotten about. He placed it against her and took the remotes setting it to the highest setting.

"F-fuck" she moaned, throwing her head back in pleasure.

"Baby, practice for me? You have to be quiet alright?" he said, softly kissing the still sensitive marks on her neck. Her hips bucked softly towards him as he switched between speed settings when he abruptly stopped.

"C'mon!" she whined again, this time frustration more present in her voice.

"Sorry babe, pizza's here! Time for lunch. The days only begun" he said, kissing her nose softly. Pushing the vibrator in her a bit and helping her off the counter. Her legs shaking as she stood up. His hand gently on her waist helping her keep steady.

"You're in for a real treat today if you can already barely walk" he said, making her playfully hit his shoulder.

'It is definitely going to be a long day.' She thought to herself.

#monsta x #changkyun #monsta x imagines #monsta x scenarios #monsta x smut #monsta x fluff #changkyun imagines #changkyun scenarios #changkyun smut #changkyun x reader

[straponz]

this is the most huMILIATING THING teddy i have not stopped thinking about the b-day fic i promised u MONTHS ago tht i nvr got around to finishing i’m so sorry i can’t promise i’ll finish it now but know i haven’t forgotten about it & i intend to deliver eventually (if not as birthday gift then an apology gift) 😵‍💫 srry my love i hope ur doing well, haven’t seen u in quite a spell <3

HELPPPP even i forgot about it don't worry babes art can't be forced i know it all too well 💋💋 i hope you're doing well even if things aren't okay lots of healing hugs & kisses from me mwah mwah ❤️❤️

#atm i'm feeling turbulent emotions don't know what else to call them but at least my life isn't on a complete downwards spiral 😂😕 #very long tag wow #💗 mar #📞 buzón de voz

[oikawaplssteponme]

DRIVE

pairing: Hajime Iwaizumi x fem! reader

ratings/warnings: swearing, vandalism/graffiti, a little suggestive, Iwaizumi calls you ‘babe’ , law enforcement present

genre: Skater! AU, fluff, action (?)

word count: 2,087 words

synopsis: In an attempt to frame your rival school, you, your boyfriend, and his friends, end up coming face to face with some unwanted guests. A little quick thinking and some fast skateboards should hopefully do the trick...that and a stolen car.

a/n: i got this idea and i just went with it hehe. i had a lot of fun writing it so i hope you all enjoy. no thoughts just seijoh four ;) reblogs are greatly appreciated! <3

•

“I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD Y/N TURN THIS FUCKING CAR AROUND-”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

~

six hours earlier

“What do you guys want for dinner?”

“You-”

“Hajime…”

“Get a room you two.”

You sighed and crossed your arms. You looked at your boyfriend sitting on the couch with a cheeky smile on his face.

“Let’s get udon. That sounds so good,” suggested Makki.

“I had udon yesterday,” explained Oikawa, “I don’t want that again.”

“That’s not my problem. Y/N, I’ll order,” said Makki. You nodded.

“Udon sounds good to me.”

You moved to sit back down next to Iwaizumi and he instantly wrapped his arm around you. You moved to rest your legs on his lap.

“I thought we said we were going out tonight,” huffed Mattsun. You chuckled.

“Don’t worry we are. We can’t go out on an empty stomach though.”

“Did you get the spray paint Oikawa?” asked Iwa. Oikawa perked up.

“Uh I thought you were getting it…”

The rest of you groaned.

“No you were supposed to get it idiot!” sighed Hajime. You gave Iwa a nudge.

“It’s fine, we’ll just get it before we go,” you insisted.

“Oikawa, your udon privileges have been revoked for this,” said Makki.

“I DIDN’T EVEN WANT UDON-“

“Well you certainly aren’t getting now. The rest of us will split your bowl.”

“HOW IS THAT FAIR-”

“Makki when will it be here?” You asked.

“About twenty minutes.”

“Okay so after the food gets here and we eat, we’ll head over to that supply store and grab the paint. How does that sound?” You explained. The boys nodded. Iwaizumi placed his hand under your chin, having you look at him.

“Sounds perfect babe.”

Iwaizumi placed a subtle kiss onto your lips, keeping a smirk on his face.

“Like I said, get a room.”

~

All your dinners arrived right on time and you all devoured them. You ended up giving Oikawa his bowl, though you did steal a noodle here and there.

The five of you threw away all your trash before packing up your things. You left the basement and went outside, each of you grabbing your skateboards.

“Ready to go?” You asked. The boys nodded.

“Last one at the store is paying for the paint-” laughed Mattsun before hopping on his board and skating away as fast as possible.

“Shit-”

The rest of you followed, pushing with all your might to not be last. The supply store was only a few minutes away, prompting your little race. You stood in second place behind Mattsun, followed by Iwaizumi, Oikawa, and Makki.

“Sorry babe-” Iwaizumi rode past you, leaving you next to Oikawa.

“Damn it.”

You lowered your stance on your board, hoping to pick up some extra speed that you desperately craved. You were tied with Makki and Oikawa, each of you inching for the lead.

“I won’t hesitate to push you right off your boards,” you laughed. Oikawa smirked.

“Yeah right-”

“No way I’m paying-”

You continued to push on the ground, gaining distance between the boys and catching up to Hajime and Issei. The wind blew in your face, awakening all your senses. You could see the store approaching, giving you an adrenaline rush.

You caught up to Mattsun and Iwa.

“Fancy seeing you guys here,” you smirked.

“You haven’t won yet Y/N-” said Mattsun. He was first at the store, followed by Ayou, then Iwaizumi, Makki and Oikawa. He lost by just a second.

“I guess it all worked out, since you were supposed to buy the paint anyway,” you joked as you caught your breath. Oikawa huffed.

“Whatever. Wait here.” Toru kicked up his board, adjusted the beanie on his head and went inside. Iwaizumi moved to stand behind you, slinging his arms around your waist.

“You’re sure we aren’t gonna get caught?” he asked. You sighed.

“Have a little faith in me babe. My plan is full proof.”

“And if we do get caught, we can blame you,” smiled Makki. You hit his arm.

“We aren’t gonna get caught. I’m smarter than that.”

“Got it!” You looked up to see Oikawa holding up the bag of goods.

“Four cans of purple, white, black, and grey spray paint.”

You smirked.

“Perfect.”

~

The five of you hopped back onto your boards and rode until you reached Aoba Johsai High School. You quietly and carefully made your way to the gym.

“Never thought I would be back here…” sighed Mattsun.

“Hopefully this is the last time we are back here,” you whispered. It had been a few weeks since graduation. Never did you think you’d be back to spray paint your own former high school.

Oikawa pulled out the cans of paint, setting them each on the ground.

“Ladies first,” he smiled. You picked up the purple paint, took the cap off and began to draw a large circle on the gym doors.

“That's an oval,” teased Makki. You groaned.

“You idiots can do it then.”

You filled in the circle with the purple paint before turning it over to Oikawa, Makki, and Mattsun. They began to draw an outline of an eagle and the letters spelling out ‘Shiratorizawa’.

“God what I would do to see the look on their faces when they see this,” said Iwaizumi. You chuckled.

“Told you my plan was full proof.”

“PAINT THE WALL NOT ME DAMN IT-”

“Oikawa shut up-”

“Makki shut up-”

“Now you listen here-”

As the boys continued to whisper-yell at each other, Iwaizumi took your hand and began to lead you around the corner of the gym.

“Iwa-”

“Don’t worry, they can handle being alone for a bit,” he smirked. Iwa had you leaned up against the side of the building, his arm just above your head looking down at you. The way he stared at you made your heart pound.

“You know you’re really cute when you’re determined,” he said.

“I know what I want,” you whispered. Iwaizumi bent his head down, touching his nose against yours. Your breath grew heavier and hotter as it mixed with his.

“I know what I want too.”

Iwaizumi didn’t waste another second to crash his lips against yours. There was something about the way that Iwaizumi kissed you that made your knees go weak. You pulled him closer to you, grabbing the collar of his shirt. Iwaizumi’s hands rested comfortably on your hips before slowly moving them onto your ass. The clashing of teeth and tongue was intoxicating. You could barely get enough.

“U-Uh guys…”

You ignored the voice, keeping your focus on your boyfriend's lips.

“GUYS!”

Iwaizumi pulled away from the kiss, annoyed.

“WHAT?”

“W-We’ve got company…”

You and Iwaizumi looked at each other, feeling your hearts drop to the floor. You slowly walked back to the gym doors. Makki, Oikawa, and Mattsun were frozen in their spots. They had the hoods of their sweatshirts on and their beanies lowered. You and Iwaizumi soon heard two pairs of footsteps walking towards you.

“Alright kids, just stay where you are,” said one of the police officers. You looked around to your friends. You bent down and picked up your skateboards.

“Hey now you listen to me, it’s gonna be easier for the both of us if you just do what we say. So drop the skateboards.”

You were shaking in your shoes, trying to figure a way out. You could see the two police cars in the background, parked in the school lot. The lights were still on and it looked like one of the officers had forgotten to shut their door. You soon were struck with an insane idea.

“Put your hands up. You’re trespassing on school property, not to mention the vandalism you just did,” said the second cop. You set your skateboard back down, your friends looking at you as if you were crazy.

“Y/N what the fuck are you doing-“

“HEY NO TALKING!”

You placed your skateboard on the ground, slowly putting your foot on top.

“Police. Car.”

“What-”

“Police car. Now!”

You jumped onto your board, skating past the officers even before they had a clue what you were doing. Oikawa, Iwaizumi, Makki, and Mattsun followed you to the car.

“HEY GET BACK HERE!”

The officers chased after you, but weren’t fast enough. You made it to the car, your whole body shaking and your mind going a mile a minute.

“GET IN!” you shouted.

You hopped into the driver's seat of the car with the open door, keys still in the ignition.

“Idiots,” you mumbled to yourself. Iwaizumi got in the front seat with you as the rest piled in the back.

“FUCKING DRIVE Y/N!” order Oikawa. You removed the parking brake before stepping on the gas. You could hear the yelling of the officers behind you, but they soon faded as you speed away.

“I know you did not just steal a police car!” shouted Iwaizumi.

“Well would you rather be riding in the back of one with cuffs!?” You groaned. Your hands were shaky on the wheel, palms covered in nervous sweat. You didn’t even bother to check the speed you were going, running through every red light you came across.

“We’re fucked,” cried Makki.

“Y/N take us back to the damn school,” ordered Iwa. You looked at him with widened eyes.

“Are you crazy? Hell no!”

“If we turn ourselves we won’t get into as much trouble-”

“Keep driving Y/N, I’m not getting arrested!” butted in Mattsun. You looked in your rear-view mirror, only to see the second police car after you.

“FUCKING HELL-” You stepped on the gas even more, reaching close to 80 miles per hour.

“WE’VE GOTTA LOSE THEM!” shouted Oikawa.

“DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW THAT! SORRY THAT THIS IS MY FIRST CAR CHASE DAMN IT!”

You made a wide turn onto a backroad, flipping the switch of lights on top of the car off. The second car still trailed behind.

“I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD Y/N TURN THIS FUCKING CAR AROUND-”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

Your adrenaline continued to rush as you drove. You searched and scanned your surrounds for any way out, or somewhere to hide.

“Y/N turn there!” Makki pointed to a fork in the road that lead to the woods. You jerked the steering wheel to the left, driving right into the woods entrance. You parked the car and turned off the engine.

“Everyone quiet!” You ordered. You looked behind you, waiting to see the other car. You watched as it drove past, entering the left side of the fork. You all let out a sigh of relief.

“You’re fucking crazy Y/N…” panted Iwaizumi. You chuckled.

“Well obviously.”

~

The five of you skated your way back to Oikawa’s basement, leaving the car where it was. Once you arrived, you all crashed onto the floor.

“I can’t believe that happened…” huffed Mattsun.

“I can’t believe we didn’t get caught…” you said.

“We did get caught dumbass! We almost died!” remarked Oikawa. You playfully hit his arm.

“We didn’t get caught. Just...interrupted.”

“Iwaizumi your girlfriend is insane,” sighed Makki. Iwaizumi chuckled.

“Hell yeah she is.” Iwaizumi pulled you towards him, having you rest your head on his arm.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you,” he whispered. You smiled.

“It’s okay, I’m sorry I yelled at you too.” You moved your hand to run through his hair.

“How about next time though, we do some legal for our activity of the night?” he suggested. You chuckled.

“Admit it, that was pretty fun.”

“Yup, you’re insane.”

“Wait, did you finish the painting?” You sat up and looked at the three boys. They looked at each other, smiling.

“Don’t worry, we finished it.”

~

The following morning you all found yourselves seated in Oikawa’s basement. You were curled up on the couch next to Iwaizumi. Your phone buzzed.

“Who is it?” he asked. You raised a brow.

“A call from Kindaichi.” You answered the call, placing him on speaker.

“What’s up first year?”

“DID YOU HEAR? SOMEONE VANDALIZED THE GYM!”

The five at you looked at each other.

“No way… do you know who?”

“Those jerks from Shiratorizawa! They left graffiti and everything! They even stole a police car and it was found this morning. Apparently the police are on their way to Shiratorizawa right now.”

You tried your best not to laugh, keeping your cool on the phone. Iwaizumi kissed your cheek, before high-fiving his friends. You turned back to the phone call.

“That’s crazy…”

•

[general taglist (form in masterlist) : @lealofsblog @iwaisa @bakugousmymassa @evivn1 @tetsoleil @bokutory @vangoghmusings @moonlightaangel @misszenin @marajillana @sopesmin @alaina-rose13 @shotoful ]

#willow.🌸 #haikyuu!! #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #hq #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi hq #hajime iwaizumi #iwaizumi scenarios #iwaizumi x you #iwaizumi oneshot #iwaizumi drabble #Oikawa toru #toru Oikawa #issei mattsun #mattsun #haikyuu makki #makki hq #iwaizumi fluff #iwaizumi

[mallowstep]

(Reedwhisker anon) Reed just gives me Misty FEELS. Like, if he's from a second litter, (likely, hopefully) Misty has healed enough to love and want to raise kits again. And it likely that he's either a kit still or a really new apprentice when Feather and Storm go missing, so I can see Misty being extra protective? Especially once Storm returns without Feather in Canon. (I can also see her thanking Leafpaw personally if she found out/knew Reed nearly drowned.)

Misty AU....same thing about if he's a second litter, only one kit....I can see THIS Misty being extra protective. Or if it's because of a Head Injury, I can see her and Feather camping/stopping by his nest in the medicine den constantly to check on him, Feather keeping him entertained maybe while Misty interrogates Mudfur, wondering what's wrong with her son, why has he forgotten bits and pieces of his life, how has he forgotten how to walk, just--

(Mistyfoot watches as Feathertail helps Reedpaw re-learn how to walk, the silver she-cat gently guiding her brother. Reedpaw is frustrated with how he stumbles and twists, his paws falling out from underneath him. Feathertail gently purrs, telling him he's doing much better than he was before, and the memory of having Reedpaw wake up, and NOT remember her, or his siblings, or who he even was...it's one of the things she will never forget. The utter confusion in her kit's eyes as he looked at her, wondering who he was and who she was to him. Hatred of Tigerstar burns I her throat as the memories come rushing over her.)

Or

(Feathertail is looking at her wide-eyed, shock glimmering in her eyes at Misty's announcement. Stormheart feels the same kind of shock, but thinks...maybe this is a good thing? He remembers Perchkit, Pikepaw and Primrosepaw, and how Mistyfoot used to playfully play with all of them in Riverclan's nursery. Perhaps Mistyfoot willingly wanting and having another litter is a good thing. Perhaps some wounds Stormheart thought would never heal in his mother actually are. He remembers how distant she was with Hawkpaw, Mothpaw, and Frogpaw, and thinks...yes, maybe this is a good thing.)

Leopard AU, Reedpaw sobbing and just telling his mom and uncle what happened in Riverclan during those three days before the Bloodclan battle, him resting between her front paws, Misty gently making sure he eats--she noticed how he wouldn't touch Thunderclan's prey, and had gone and caught him a trout, but he hadn't eaten that either. That's when even more worry had bubbled up. Out of all her kits, Reed had always been the one who enjoyed eating. Him not...was concerning.)

Reed just breaks down and spills everything to Misty after she and Feather had escaped, everything that happened...Cinderpelt giving him poppy seeds to help sleep, the grey medicine cat gently telling Misty that Reed's wounds were more mental then physical.

Like...Misty you deserve to watch your son grow older and to die before him. You've been through so fucking much.

I literally had my heart in my throat when Reed was captured by Darktail and was prisoner. Like... was he going to kill Reed? Was Misty going to find her son's body tossed away like it was nothing? Just the thought of her reuniting within and seeing how skinny he'd gotten, his ribs showing through his pelt, infection scent rising from scratches and wounds on his pelt. Like...fuck. if that didn't bring back PTSD I don't know what would. Especially if he is a second litter, (third in Misty AU, (and Leopard AU too, maybe??))

Like. She'd probably seriously start to doubt her ability to be a mother/queen at that point. Her sixth son (?? Think that's the right number, idk) has basically gone through nearly the exact same shit she, Feather,cStorm and Stone did.

Like...fuck, just let Misty have her last fucking kit and be happy.

yeah...like i should be clear...i have 0 feelings for him but 100 feelings about him. finding out mistyfoot had a kit was such fucking whiplash that it took several weeks for it to set in, which is when i wrote a primrosepaw lives excerpt, which is...how we got here. in a very convoluted way. but i digress.

ohhh yeah mistyfoot would be Hella protective. i do Know she is like -- in canon, because she's the one who's like "mothwing why aren't you doing anything" and it's like mistyfoot babe i know you're upset (valid) but you're not helping the situation.

and oh -- okay so. as a second litter yeah. she has -- i mean there's a Reason mistyfoot does not have more kits in the misty au. she's not really. ready to be a mother. she's got a lot of trauma around the whole concept. but -- oh. yeah. she would be extremely protective of him.

and oh like -- okay stonefur and feathertail both already have memory problems, so now they're just Memory Problems Gang.

(stonefur has persistent word issues; feathertail has a lot of gaps in her memory, mostly during tigerclan, but also some before and after.)

very Good. i like that.

and mistyfoot is just -- so tired. god. she's trying to do so much and she's trying so hard and. feathertail keeps forgetting things and reedwhisker has forgotten so much and they're both -- oh. yeah. good stuff right there.

and -- she's split, right? there's so much. because feathertail doesn't want to be in mudfur's den even though that would probably be better for her but reedwhisker is in mudfur's den and she's trying to be deputy and. god. and she did so much to protect featherpaw and reedpaw got hurt and it's not her fault but that doesn't mean it doesn't feel like it's her fault.

Fun Times.

on the other hand like -- fuck if I Know with Whom mistyfoot had kits bc i'll tell u it ain't blackclaw but. okay mix of feelings but mostly positive from the Crew.

feathertail is Happy if very Surprised and a small bit worried mistyfoot was coerced into this,

stonefur is just -- you know. he's happy, but it's really bittersweet.

and stormheart is being angry that his sister raised three kits and now mistyfoot is having kits again but he eventually settles on happy. shadepelt might have to yell at him again.

and yeah -- it's good. everyone is good, it's good. because mistyfoot -- before everything, she was proud of being a mother. and it's such a terrible thing, to have that taken from you. so yeah, yeah. it's good.

and god yeah. mistyfoot and reedpaw reuniting and just. hnng. realizing -- you know. god. god god god. there's so much -- leopardstar and mistyfoot and i don't even know what to say except yeah

and like -- i don't even -- feathertail is on the No Poppy Seeds list because they tend to cause more harm than good and i-

like cinderpelt tries and then he has the Worst nightmares and she feels bad and it's like -- what is she supposed to do? what can she do?

misty really does. i don't want reedstar. i want mistystar to die and reedwhisker to die before he gets nine lives but still after her and for riverclan to have a leadership crisis. that's what i want to happen. because i don't want reedstar but mistystar deserves for at least one of her children to outlive her.

and yeah? oh my god the ptsd? like? fuuuuuuuck. and i think -- hnng. reedwhisker being held, thinking about what mistyfoot went through and i. god.

like. you know. reedwhisker is the last kit mistyfoot has. and she feels -- okay. i'm okay. he's safe and whole and a warrior and i'm okay.

and then he gets taken and all of her children have been harmed and i-

i don't-

god. mistystar my beloved <3 i hope the erins mercy kill you <3 but i hope riverclan's time in isolation was full of family bonding and happy times.

#ask #reed au #talk #mine #anon #kdlf;ja #it's funny bc technically #reed au is canon #but like #fdasljlakdjsjlk;ds #okay anyway #u always make me feel so many things anon

[billhaderlovebot]

willy mclean hcs

ah yes. it is time for another hannah and molly headcanon extravaganza. we've been thirsty for this hoe all damn week. @gazebros

you think you know willy the first time you meet him properly.

in fact, you do know him.

you've seen him around, verbally abusing pool-goers and smoking pot on his breaks.

you've never crossed paths other than the one time you asked him where the toilets were and he blew smoke in your face.

but the first time you meet him properly it's kinda an accident, in that you weren't looking for company.

you'd just broken up with your extremely long term boyfriend that week.

u have a child together.

it wasn't a toxic relationship and it didn't end on bad terms, and you loved each other very very much, but you both agreed that you'd grown apart and you'd be better as two seperate people.

plus, you needed to keep it cool between the two of you for the sake of your son.

nonetheless, it was a bummer.

you were the only one left at the pool, and it had long since closed. you'd been sat on the side, watching the ripples and ignoring how cold and dark it was getting. the only source of light came from the LED's on the bottom of the pool.

and willy came out of the weird room thingy he sits in while people are swimming.

"we're closed, man."

probably the biggest joint you've seen since college in his hand.

"yeah. sorry. lemme get in on that, though."

you reach up to take the joint from him and he shrugs and hands it to you.

"you good?"

"just broke up with this guy, um, we've been together since... i don't know, fuckin, forever. im sad, i guess. he's staying with his mom."

"oh, worm. i can get my bong."

and you don't know why you find yourself telling this random guy everything.

but you talk and smoke for hours.

willy is like a breath of fresh air.

you can't remember the last time you'd laughed until your ribs hurt.

and you've told each other like

everything there is to know about everything

and in this moment you actually feel like nobody else knows you better in the entire world

even though you've only been talking for like four hours.

by the end of the night you're basically sat in his lap.

you're so close that your lips almost touch when you light another joint and pass it between you.

and you hear his breath hitch

and his eyes are dark.

"your ex didn't give you syphilis or anything, did he?"

"no. why?"

and then suddenly his lips are on yours and he's holding your face in his hands.

and all you can feel is him

and its Perfect.

and he's warm and soft and you fist your hands into the front of his stupid poncho

and you have to go back to your apartment to fuck because he doesn't have one oops.

and you get there and you apologise for the mess because you've not been in a good place lately.

"dude i live in a fucking pool don't even worry."

thus begins Friends With Benefits.

the best sex you've literally Ever had in your life along with the best weed and the best 4am talks and a guy who talks to you like you're a normal fucking person for Once.

Willy McLean E*ts P*ssy.

you pull his hair sometimes

nothing extreme jus a light tug yknow

but it drives him Insane

he Loves It.

he doesn't dirty talk a lot but he's very vocal. like he's not one of those guys where it feels like you're fucking an ice sculpture. he actually like makes noise.

and tells you what he wants.

so it's just u guys hanging out and fucking for like a long time. and it's good. it's great.

no commitment or anything it's pretty chill.

you go off the radar a few times a week to spend time with your son, who's currently living with his father until you get your life in order.

one night, after sex (it was during the shining bc that movie is Long so y'all jus ignored it n Got On With Things) willy is watching you sleep.

he's watching you exist.

he just watches you for the longest time.

his heart melts when you subconsciously shuffle closer to him and bury your face in the crook of his neck.

and he realises that the feelings he has for you run deeper than he thought they did.

he realises that he might maybe a little bit love you.

maybe.

you're so strong and you would do anything to protect your kid and you're not afraid of looking stupid and you make him laugh like nobody has ever made him laugh.

also the sex? 😔👌

he thinks you're probably the most wonderful human being in the whole world.

you didn't plan on introducing willy to your son.

because you didn't think it would ever be anything serious and therefore not have an impact on his life.

but it had to happen at some point.

and one day he gets in your car and there's this lil curly haired toddler in the back in this lil car seat.

"uhh. we have to go sign him up for preschool."

you'd forgotten it was almost august.

willy is really nervous because he's sure he smells of pot and he doesn't really know what to do around kids.

but elias is surprisingly quiet and he giggles along to whatever dumb shit you and willy are talking about in the front seat even though he has no idea what you're saying.

willy falls even harder for you when he watches you ruffle elias' hair and kiss his head.

and elias really likes willy's poncho.

and when you get to the school and the secretary starts gushing about what a cute couple you and willy are

willy Loses His Mind

and he's about say something

but you're like "thankyou so much!🥰" and take his hand and the paperwork she gives you and drag him into the waiting room.

"wh-"

"we are a cute couple."

he pretends not to notice when you don't let go of his hand for the rest of the day.

because you fuck and have been fucking for a while but this is Soft.

and you pretend not to lose your shit when willy picks up elias and you look at them both together, giggling like idiots and realise that they're all you need.

a couple months later, when the pool closes for the winter months, you realise you haven't seen him in a couple days.

which is worrying, since he lives at the pool um-

and so you go there

n he's just

jus sittin.

"hey, babe."

"hey, where have you been?"

"just around. come sit."

and for a minute it's normal. you're talking and laughing so hard that your sides split and kissing (ft inappropriate touching)

and it gets a lil cold and he puts his obnoxious knitted poncho over you.

and he looks at you for a bit.

and you barely hear it when he whispers

"i think im in love with you."

and oh

oh fuck.

of course.

and you love him the fuck BACK

but he takes your stunned silence as rejection, mumbles some garbled apology and stands up to leave.

you run right after him, though.

it's something straight out of a romance movie, he thinks, when you spin him around by his arm and pull him down to your lips by his collar.

"i love you too. so fucking much, will."

that night you invite him to stay over.

"isn't elias staying with you right now?"

"yeah. he misses you. he keeps asking about the poncho man idk"

when he wakes up the next day after watching two and a half hours of paw patrol with your son (he kept him entertained, seeing how exhausted you were, and allowed you to nap.) you're not there.

he heads into the kitchen where you've sat elias down with a bowl of cereal and you're dancing around to whatever's playing on the radio.

and he sees a box of his stuff next to the couch. everything he owns. you must've gotten it from the pool while he was asleep.

"what's going on, baby?"

"shit, yeah, um, you're moving in."

his heart explodes

and he's trying so hard not to cry

at the concept of having a home

and with you, nonetheless.

he's sure he's never been so in love.

but he cries anyway, when your back is turned, when he thinks you don't know.

he Loves You.

#willy mclean #bill hader #bill hader x reader #willy mclean x reader #the to do list #soft headcanons #hcs #our boy #yeah babey

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: That hoodie was yours anyway so welcome for finally getting it back Jimmy: Knew the 🚬 hole weren't you 🤓 Janis: cheek Janis: I've took well good care of it Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: it's too early for your condescension Janis: 🤐 unless you're saying tah for not having to walk home in a mini skirt Jimmy: but not too early for your 🤓 words, eh? Jimmy: I get it, only one of us is allowed to show off Janis: showing off your pins in the PM is a different vibe completely to the AM, trust Janis: be well 💔 if you got molested/hate crimed Jimmy: Oi, it's well 💔 that you've forgotten how 💪🏆 I am, pisshead Jimmy: 👻🥊 Janis: 1. you were AS wasted, you didn't even get home so, worse, some would say 2. you pretty much pissed yourself when the kid came charging in so I might need reminding before I believe that again Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: is it though Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: but if you need it SHOUTED, alright Janis: gonna need 📣 and then some Janis: back in the middle of nowhere now Jimmy: should've said, you could've had the 🐑 costume Jimmy: Gracie'd never 👀 you Janis: had to happen eventually Janis: the last thing I wanna do is #twin Janis: hopefully she ain't here Jimmy: easy, just steer clear of the ✨ Janis: not so easy at this time of year Janis: shit gets everywhere Jimmy: if you ain't up to the challenge, Jill Janis: seeing as I avoid them a lot better than you do Janis: pretty confident on that Jimmy: #whenshesnotthelassyouthoughtshewere 😭🎻💔 Jimmy: but it's alright I'll ❌ out the bollocks and leave the compliment about how you look Janis: 🙄 cry me a river, dickhead Jimmy: nowt challenging about that Jimmy: 👍✔ Janis: glad I ain't gotta fake my 😍 right now Jimmy: too 🥺 about leaving me an' all, obvs Jimmy: ALWAYS on the same page, us Janis: Obvs Janis: don't worry, christmas with my family is shit enough that's what they'll all reckon from the 😒 Jimmy: weren't Jimmy: only 1 of 'em is in our target audience Jimmy: and if she were a 🖍 it'd be no dickhead's fave colour Janis: just 💪 that I don't need the day off Jimmy: DUH Jimmy: so impressive, you Janis: tah for the validation Janis: christmas came early Jimmy: long as it's just 🎄 Jimmy: don't need that rumour spread about, tah Janis: 😂 Janis: save it for the bitter breakup Jimmy: for all the dickheads in my DMs it'd put off, there'd be lasses taking it as a challenge or compliment Janis: true Janis: just go with my original plan and pretend you never existed Janis: what's more damning Janis: 👻❓ Jimmy: sir weren't having that Janis: number 1 fan? Jimmy: of me having a beard so he can have me behind shut classroom doors Janis: an idea Janis: I'll just out you Jimmy: new lad with no mates ✔ Jimmy: shit home life ✔ Jimmy: worked it all out, him Jimmy: gutted he can't do the same with you and your 😈💡 Janis: how many teachers they need for an official ring? Jimmy: dunno, tried to google it, well distracted now Janis: 🚨🚨 Jimmy: undercover 👮🚔 perks Jimmy: it were all for a case, mate Janis: too real Jimmy: 💰 on Mia's dad trying that one on an' all Janis: oldest trick in the book Jimmy: #defensesquad Janis: in good company Jimmy: first time he'll have heard that Janis: except from his delightful daughter, obvs Janis: no news on how in the shit she is Janis: I'll 🔍 Jimmy: I'll ask Asia, nowt that lass won't tell me Janis: aren't you #blessed Jimmy: 🎁 that keeps on giving Jimmy: and you reckoned 🎄 came early for you Janis: 🤢 Janis: too early for that as well Jimmy: if I open my DMs to find she's wrapped a bow round herself you don't wanna know, I get it Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: I really  don't Janis: 'til you're gonna go there and then give me 48hrs notice tah Jimmy: never gonna be that pissed, you're alright Janis: 😏 never again, is it? Janis: my grandparents were in a mood so maybe you did spray their bathroom with puke Jimmy: never her Jimmy: and you could be proud of me for finding their 🚽 dickhead Janis: never said I weren't Janis: they don't know how challenged and northern you are Jimmy: what I'm hearing is you're dead proud they never heard me 🗨 Jimmy: 🔇🏆 Janis: you must've been signing Janis: I dunno Jimmy: if that's what I were doing with my hands I'm chuffed you can't remember owt Jimmy: be a piss poor review Janis: I weren't THAT drunk Janis: but I'll keep that 🤐 in my general daily praise of you for the socials 🙄 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I weren't Janis: twat Jimmy: 👌 Janis: U G H Janis: what are you doing on your day off then Janis: 'cos yeah, I caught that bit of their 📞 Jimmy: whatever he wants Janis: cute Jimmy: leave it out, I know you caught how 😁 he were an' all Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt ain't just for you, Joan Janis: I was being sincere, actually Jimmy: were you? Janis: yeah Janis: it's cute he likes you so much Jimmy: he don't know any better Jimmy: give him a bit Janis: you've got a few years 'til hormones are an issue Jimmy: tah for the reminder Janis: 🤷 Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: better off 🤞 there ain't any more Janis: could always book him a vasectomy for his 🎁 Jimmy: least my mum dunno which doorstep is ours to leave any 👶 on Janis: silver lining Janis: my sister'll be here with her brats now Jimmy: I should've got you a 🎻🎁 Jimmy: Have you got Libi an' all? Janis: you should've booked me a medical coma Janis: yeah, we usually all get together, at least for the meal Janis: it's ridiculous Jimmy: tah for my invite Janis: 🎟 to the 🎪 Janis: nah, you're alright Jimmy: so what, been working on my 🤹 for nowt? Jimmy: 💔 Janis: you could come to midnight mass Janis: that's a fun thing my sister forces me to do Jimmy: I get it, you didn't get your 🎄🔥 Jimmy: as a stand in goes, any heathen'll do Janis: it's Catholicism Janis: all 😈 happily welcomed Jimmy: alright then Janis: 😂 yeah right Jimmy: if our kid ain't asleep, he can do my sister's head in for a bit Janis: you want a chance to piss off my other nan? Janis: she'll probably love you 'cos shit home life ✔ Jimmy: I were in it for the 🎨 but you've sold that an' all now Janis: 'course you were Janis: why not Janis: if I HAVE to go Jimmy: can I borrow your 👼🏽 ootd or is it too fucked from last night? Janis: Sadly that literal piece of fabric I'd wrapped around myself did not last the evening Janis: you'll think of something, I know Jimmy: it'll be round a 🎄 by now Jimmy: whoever's got the 🥇 shrine going Janis: graced by my 🍑 Janis: what could be more 🙌🙏 worthy Jimmy: nowt OBVS Janis: tah babes Jimmy: [a picture of all the carnage Twix has caused with these decs cos she's a naughty bab] Janis: 😬 uh-oh Janis: no more nice list Jimmy: can kinky Jesus top that for 🎨? Janis: top of the list always Janis: favourite son Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: I get why you 💕🙌🙏 me now Janis: ha Janis: fairplay I'll lead with that comparison when introducing you Jimmy: it's a good shout Janis: it's not but it's blasphemous Janis: might get an exorcism out of it 🤞 Jimmy: I can't help being white, soz Janis: this is my 🤶🏾 so she'll be vexed x2 Janis: well done Jimmy: not calling you a slag again but if you wanna give me my 🏆 in a way that'd have Jesus chuffed to bits and her fuming, I'll live Jimmy: 💭 on it for a bit Janis: 🤔 Janis: washing your feet with my hair or??? Janis: ask Gracie, hers is detachable Jimmy: I know you don't wanna twin but about the only place I ain't found strands of yours is between my toes Jimmy: tah for not making me hold it back last night Jimmy: two handed job, that Janis: if that's what you were doing with your hands, loads to brag about in the review Janis: I dunno then, fish supper? Jimmy: stick it in the group chat ❌🤮 bit and we'll see if 💀👑 still has her phone Janis: about my lack of a gag reflex? Janis: #hardrelate and they're 😭😭 they lost it Janis: more valuable 🍒 Jimmy: her dad wouldn't agree and he'll not have stopped 😭😭 about that lad Janis: can get surgery to pop that back Janis: her ma will know Jimmy: 🎄🎁 sorted Janis: he'll still KNOW Janis: no going back to being 👸 Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: who's not got a dad now, like Janis: #disowned Jimmy: if she kills herself and I get stuck with her 👻 Jimmy: that there's a REAL rom com, soz babe Janis: happily let her take you off my hands Jimmy: 👍 Janis: forever ever is an awfully long time Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: gutted I don't have a 💍 to do you a fake proposal at midnight mass Jimmy: need a Sharon leaving her tat about, sort it out Ian Janis: leaning into the hallmark romcoms there Jimmy: your nan not a fan? Janis: god knows Janis: literal, probably chats about her daily with him constant Jimmy: 😂 Janis: poor bloke Janis: not even a nun, stop bending his ear like you 💍 him Jimmy: #godssidechick Janis: she's used to it Janis: 😱 Janis: LOVES the priest and all Jimmy: OMG how fit and mysterious is he? Janis: Well there's a NEW one, can you believe it Janis: haven't been in years, like Jimmy: !!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jimmy: @graciegurl I NEED a makeover RN Janis: she'll be too busy trying to match with a baby Jimmy: 📷 tah Janis: what? Jimmy: come on, I wanna 👀 see who's 😭 more, her or the 👶 Janis: oh Janis: [probably already harassing ruster and the kids so have at those socials] Jimmy: what did you think I meant? Janis: that would wanted her to 📷 her motd for you to copy or something Jimmy: 🥇💡 out serve her 👗 in the eyes of god Janis: is that really a challenge though Jimmy: nah, which is why I won't actually bother Janis: sure she won't either Janis: not in a 😍 way, just the wholesome 😇 thing Jimmy: as excuses go, it's a 🏅 for participation again Janis: well you'll see why when you get there Jimmy: LOVE it when you bust out a threat Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 Janis: it's not a threat really but again, sure you will be Jimmy: SO 😁 me Jimmy: sod off 🎅 I'm waiting for god to hand out the 🎁🎁 Janis: ugh don't Janis: she does think she's a fucking gift from god Jimmy: I wanna hate her but obvs that's where you get your big head from, girl and I 💕 that about you Janis: shut up Janis: I ain't nothing like her Jimmy: 🤐 Jimmy: one of a kind 🏆 Janis: just not a cunt Jimmy: thank GOD we're faking this 'cause that's totally my type Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: go on Janis: go have a good day Janis: see you later Jimmy: say piss off like you mean it Janis: come on Jimmy: what? Janis: I just don't want to talk about my family Jimmy: alright Jimmy: crack on slagging off mine for a bit if you want Jimmy: piss easy 🎯 Janis: I'm alright for it Janis: I'll go put myself in that coma Jimmy: nice of you to give Lucas a 🎁 Jimmy: I'll fake not feeling left out Janis: oi Janis: I gave you presents Jimmy: not an induced coma though, were it? Janis: crack on if you've got a spare 5 minutes Jimmy: for you, always have 💕 Janis: so goals Janis: isn't that another Sandy film? Jimmy: not her in the coma Jimmy: but there is sibling bollocks that Gracie'd lose her shit over Janis: yeah but she does fuck a dude in a coma, more or less Janis: is what I'm getting at Jimmy: she's desperate for it, til she ain't Jimmy: not fake dating the way we do it Janis: so she pussies out at the end Janis: 🙄 Janis: expected better of you, Sandra Jimmy: it's ages before then, trying to crack on to his brother as soon as he shows up, her Jimmy: ain't a kink unlocked, Lucas'll have to elsewhere to feel seen Janis: you know the best sites, share the wealth 👮🚨 Jimmy: might if he's got a 🎁 for me Janis: it's the detentions when we get back Janis: no patience, you Jimmy: be long gone by then Janis: sucks for you then Jimmy: you'll have to tell me about it Janis: what, in my 💌s Jimmy: slide into my DMs, baby Jimmy: won't be that many J's in there Jimmy: if we're going back up north no dickhead knows their alphabet that far Jimmy: 👶 names stop at G for Gaz Janis: yet your ability to think up obscure J names knows no bounds Janis: weird flex but alright Jimmy: 🖋🎨 Janis: oh I get it Janis: Bill talking right now Janis: 👋 lad Jimmy: valorous m'rning, wench 👋 Jimmy: at which hour art thee going to leaveth this daw and runneth off with me? Jimmy: that gent cannot coequal readeth 'r writeth Jimmy: 😱😱😱 Jimmy: how shall thee knoweth thou art did love?!! Janis: I feel like Asia any time any lad opens his mouth Janis: don't fully know what you're saying but I know I like it Janis: 🤤🤤🤤 Jimmy: he's taking the piss out of me, 'course you do Janis: of course Janis: SUCH a bully, me Jimmy: the angelics were last night Jimmy: you've got today off Janis: s'what 💀👑 crying on in my inbox right now Janis: not like she actually makes it her life's mission to be a massive bitch to everyone or nothing 👌 Jimmy: show us Janis: [Mia acting the victim like THAT WAS TOO FAR I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'VE DONE THAT YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE etc] Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: bit rude of her to give me fuck all credit Janis: the obsession is real Janis: plus why blame a lad when you can a girl Janis: more drama more fun 🙌 Jimmy: do you wanna do something? Jimmy: no challenge to go further Janis: Don't know Janis: if she's bullshitting how serious it actually is, there's always NYE to fuck up as well Jimmy: alright, do you want a night off instead? Janis: it's christmas eve Jimmy: and? Janis: only the really unlucky work it Janis: and 🎅 Jimmy: there you go then, be piss easy to do 📵 Janis: but you've got your brother Jimmy: weren't gonna put him on a selfie ban an' all Janis: he would be gutted Jimmy: he's already watched Rudolf get bullied by the 😎 lad who looks like he were in a reindeer boyband, bit of the glowing red nose for him it were, but we know how it ends Jimmy: he'll dry his eyes and be alright Janis: that film is brutal Janis: should come with a warning, tbh Jimmy: that'll be why Ian put it on for him Janis: seems like his cup of tea Janis: if your difference makes you useful, then we'll start being alright to you Janis: dunno how being deaf is gonna get all the prezzies out on time but you know Jimmy: toughen up and get a job, lad Jimmy: dunno what you're pissing about at Janis: being 6? psh Jimmy: when he were 6 he were down a mine, DUH Janis: and that's why you're short Janis: got it Jimmy: and that's why I've gotta wear 👠 Janis: Alright, you can borrow a pair Janis: don't beg Jimmy: soz that I wanna be a slag for Jesus Jimmy: his foot fetish is well known, gotta go above and beyond 🏆 Janis: 😂 Janis: slags4jesus is the name of the women's group she runs so Janis: fit right in Jimmy: sign me up Janis: 'course Janis: really, you just try to one up each other with the best 🍰s and who the father LOVES more Janis: well like the gals, so easy Jimmy: well in, I'll do a 🥧 Jimmy: cut my 👶🦷 on crusts 🍺s and 🥔s Janis: down the mines, I remember Janis: she LOVES a sob story Janis: obvs, the bible is one big 😭😱🤯 read Jimmy: that's him, my only job were being a MASSIVE letdown, obvs Jimmy: employee of the month every time Janis: even barista boy is preferrable Janis: at least you can't be a mistake, being the first, like Jimmy: still managed it 🏆🥇💪 Jimmy: middle kid's the only one they wanted, bit awkward she's a girl, like Janis: 👎 unlucky, Ian Jimmy: unlucky for me I am his Jimmy: 😒 an' all Janis: you don't need to tell me Janis: nothing more disappointing Jimmy: 🤞 for my sister she ain't Jimmy: be nowt better as a 🎄🎁 Janis: What do you mean? Jimmy: having a different dad would be #ultimategoals Janis: or something to have a complex about Janis: go find the other cunt and he's just as shit Jimmy: he'd have to go some Jimmy: or be 💀💀💀 Janis: give a bloke a chance and he'll just disappoint you Janis: 2 of my sisters have a different dad, and he's just as shit, just not dead Janis: not like your mum was hiding a 🤴 right Janis: fairytale shit Jimmy: Oi, that don't sound like you've been taking notes from Rudolf's #rideordie missus Janis: obviously you're the exception to every rule Jimmy: late but decent save, mate Janis: no point diving 'til you need to Janis: always premature, you Jimmy: not with ankles like yours Jimmy: and I were born late, ALMOST like I knew how grim it were up north Janis: shut up Janis: like I'd play goalie anyway, though they always try it 'cos I'm the tallest Janis: typical you too, awkward Jimmy: not enough 👏👏🌹 for you, I get it Janis: just boring Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you know, you're a lad Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Jimmy: SUCH a lad, me Janis: just an observation but take it as 👏👏🌹 if you're hard up for it Jimmy: tah Jimmy: not having 💀👑 in my inbox is a real blow to my big head Janis: if her dad ever lets her out again Janis: hit you up to 💔 me hard, I'm sure Jimmy: I'll have the 🥀 ready Janis: if that's a metaphor for your inability to get it up for her, get Jimmy back, Bill, trying to talk here Jimmy: 😏 Janis: can you even imagine Janis: have more fun with a cheese grater, seriously Jimmy: 💰 on Asia's dad being a right good time Janis: yeah, well you 💘 her Janis: got to have got that sparkling wit from somewhere Jimmy: hang on, these reindeer are proper starcrossed Jimmy: behind bars and all sorts Jimmy: 📝 Janis: despite what Mia reckons, don't think her daddy can jail us for this Janis: have to go a bit harder Jimmy: count me in Jimmy: reckon I'm gonna have to go a bit harder to get Ian's feet out from under the table here an' all Janis: 👍 Janis: sooner the better Janis: festivities are doing my head in Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: if Sharon gets namedropped any more than he has done, I'll be 🍽 for her tomorrow Janis: ew Janis: Sharon, you not got a family of your own? Janis: someone we can call, like Jimmy: sounds like she's got kids she'd be bringing Janis: 😬 Janis: that's hell Jimmy: 🤞 he's all 🗨 and ain't gonna risk showing her what his happy family's like Janis: nothing better than a 'best behaviour' christmas Jimmy: I dunno, today's gonna win some 🏆🏆🏆 Janis: you're loving rudolph and your #ladsladslads time, don't lie Jimmy: finished that, about to go on a massive 🐕🏃 before I smack Ian Jimmy: so festive Janis: I'm pretending I'm 😴 Jimmy: top fake snores, yeah? Janis: that and hiding under the covers 'til they fuck off Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: I can piss off if it'll give you away Janis: don't worry Janis: they know I ain't, as my oldest sister rudely came in and tore my blankets off me Janis: still ignore them just the same Janis: sign language you taught me is well helpful Jimmy: you're welcome Jimmy: still loads of time to get more lessons in before the hol is over Janis: 🙌 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: least the kid will enjoy your walk Janis: and the 🐕 Janis: obvs Jimmy: 😒🚬 and 😎🖍 Jimmy: 🐕💔 'cause you ain't here Janis: 😏 Janis: tell her it's mutual Jimmy: tell her yourself, you ain't mute Jimmy: 🗨💌 Janis: am too Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: should've said you lost your voice last night Jimmy: what could be more #goals or a better alibi for not grassing up 💀👑 Janis: should've had this 🥇💡 last night Janis: idc, she knew it was us, it was obvious, half the point Jimmy: talk to me then Janis: I am Jimmy: 👂? Janis: oh, I get it Janis: you wanna chat so you look 😎 too Janis: yeah, alright Jimmy: the health of your vocal cords is well important to me and my nursing kink Jimmy: nowt else Janis: practice makes perfect Janis: go ahead, least then I can pretend this is a private conversation Jimmy: [sings her a song from the Rudolf film like hey] Janis: [dramatic late 90s slow jam that it is lmao, how could you not lol] Jimmy: [Bobby may be deaf but the other peeps out and about aren't so I'm loling, oh jimothy] Janis: [just like, have you considered going on whatever x factor equivalent is a thing now] Jimmy: [talking about how much their fans would love that and they'd be starcrossed af while he's doing it] Janis: ['dedicate every performance to me, pretend I'm dying in some hospital somewhere, miraculous recovery for the finale'] Jimmy: ['be a top plot twist when you kill me'] Janis: ['press'll have a field day'] Jimmy: ['Ian'll be chuffed to bits' because we know his mum's disappearance got some attention locally hens] Janis: ['lives for attention too, yeah?'] Jimmy: ['you'd be a great match, you're right'] Janis: ['you'll have to introduce me'] Jimmy: ['come round tomorrow, more the merrier, clearly' thank god I'm not actually gonna make you spend it with Ian's gf though] Janis: ['just tell the kid he's got to be a dick, not all cute and friendly, she won't wanna come back'] Jimmy: ['hang on, I'll get him practicing, have him kick this dog or something'] Janis: [noise equivalent of an eyeroll] Jimmy: ['what were that?' as if we don't know] Janis: ['you're a dickhead' but a light tone we're not fuming lol] Jimmy: [say it back but likewise not in a fuming way] Janis: ['any fans out?'] Jimmy: [sending pisstakey pics of people who definitely aren't fans that she won't see til this phone call ends to make her lol 'nowt we could go where there wouldn't be' like we're SO popular which is another pisstake but honestly where's the lie] Janis: ['true, even the sheep rate us'] Jimmy: ['first class representation'll do that' because that sheep costume was great and we all know it] Janis: ['good times' not even lying] Jimmy: ['the lad'll be heartbroken you ain't here an' all if he wants to craft in a bit' because also true] Janis: ['he don't need my help, or yours' lil art hoe but we sad 'cos bored and fuming about xmas lol] Jimmy: [noise equivalent of like mhmm without being that cos he's not one of the gals, when you open your mouth to say I need you though after that but obvs can't and don't] Janis: ['you twirling the cord 'round your finger?' like he is one of those gals] Jimmy: ['might be'] Janis: ['alright, tease' 😏] Jimmy: [a noise like he's so OTT offended like call me a slag or anything else but not that] Janis: ['soz, but if the secretarial role and blank expression fits, babe'] Jimmy: ['I ain't trying to be my dad's type, you want Mia on your other line, babes'] Janis: [a noise like ew, okay, this is weird 'I'll stop'] Jimmy: ['stop what?' like we're playing but really we're like don't stop talking to me ILY] Janis: ['you shouldn't have provided such a compelling narrative, but her in my inbox is enough, if I have to HEAR her attempt at a Southside accent, like you're not from here as well Mia'] Jimmy: [a noise because we sincerely and genuinely hate her so much] Janis: ['caveman works better, who's type is that but mine, obvs'] Jimmy: ['hang on, I'll do a twitter poll'] Janis: ['you're meant to be having a day off' the affection in our voice] Jimmy: ['I don't want one' true but we'll pretend it's fake if we have to] Janis: ['junkie' and a jokey tut] Jimmy: ['that's every dickhead I ain't made a latte for all day'] Janis: ['the shakes are real, Gracie's fucked her steady hand, like'] Jimmy: ['explains the shit make up' harsh sir] Janis: [lols but gasps like we're so SHOOK hunz 'you that wanted the makeover earlier, like'] Jimmy: ['never said I could do any better'] Janis: ['you don't need any, bastard'] Jimmy: ['neither do you, no need to mard at me' again where's the lie] Janis: ['I ain't, but I can see why they obsess over you, don't know whether to punch you or fuck you'] Jimmy: [a lol] Janis: ['choice is made easy with me by how straight they are, especially Mia and Ella' like lofuckingl hen] Jimmy: [a bigger lol] Janis: [silently 😍] Jimmy: ['if you wanna do the full face of silver again, won't mard at you' cos what a look tbh] Janis: [hmms like we're pondering 'how many hickeys do you still have?' adds 'that'll be on show' quieter, because we know and we remembering 'if it's not a lot, a red lip might be a fair shout to show how much we're sinning'] Jimmy: [lost in our thoughts being distracted af for a while there because we already missed the bae but now we MISS her as well 'not as many as you' isn't even true but 1. we're competitive  and 2. we're shamelessly asking for more here like it isn't christmas eve and we aren't starcrossed rn] Janis: ['can't have that...' also distracted, obvs 'he'll be going to sleep well early, yeah? so santa comes sooner' 'cos I do remember going to bed earlier like the sooner you're asleep the sooner he'll be here 'could do something more fun than singing hymns before, maybe'] Jimmy: ['he's got the tracker but if nowt else I'll cause a sugar crash' because kids all do be tracking Santa now on an app like gotta get to bed before he flies over your area lol but jimothy is like you WILL go to bed early Bobert because he already wants to get away 'reckon I could pick you up without causing an actual one though' because not above stealing Ian's car and abandoning it somewhere on christmas eve, it's very deserved] Janis: [makes an ugh noise, like don't even with that bloody tracker lmao 'but I can walk now' 'cos just assuming that's what he means, as per] Jimmy: ['but Ian deserves to more than you' because he does and how funny is that as a visual him trying to find his car, sucks to suck sir 'he might like the middle of nowt, move us there an' all'] imagine the next door neighbour cliche haha] Janis: [catching on like lol, alright 'never mind wifeswap, houseswap it is'] Jimmy: ['pick him a sheep, give it a blonde dye job, name it Sharon, paradise for him, that'] Janis: [just like ewwww] Jimmy: ['alright, I hear you, no farmyard threesomes at my housewarming' don't worry bae, won't fuck a sheep lol] Janis: ['I'm just thinking about how I look like a sheep with a blonde dye job' pouty voice] Jimmy: ['shut up' like NO YOU DON'T 'you look-' remembering that we can't just out ourselves 'fit, mysterious and obvs, most importantly, goals'] Janis: ['you would say that' like sheep shagger lol] Jimmy: ['never even seen a sheep before that nativity bollocks, me' oh manchester never been there but I have heard you are shit] Janis: ['I forgot you ain't moors and dales Northern'] Jimmy: [an OTT how dare you kinda noise like you should remember everything about me] Janis: ['I know, I know, gotta study for the next Q&A'] Jimmy: ['gotta go cry my eyes out'] Janis: ['shh, baby' 😏 'twix will comfort you'] Jimmy: ['does look a bit like a sheep, her'] Janis: ['you are an animal'] Jimmy: [a pisstakey grr or whatever which everyone out and about will enjoy I'm sure] Janis: ['do that again' like you're SO into it but we're obvs loling] Jimmy: [does though because no shame] Janis: ['perks of a deaf brother is he has no idea how embarrassing you are, I get it now'] Jimmy: ['not saying I deafened him cos my sister hates me or owt but'] Janis: [gasps like OMG and does the eastenders duff duffs] Jimmy: [loling again because we're just having a lovely time with the bae] Janis: ['so on brand for you' like you did cripple me 'what are you gonna try tonight, like' like how you gonna injure me again but it just sounds saucy] Jimmy: ['I'll think of something' cos we're thinking all the saucy things now] Janis: ['I believe in you'] Jimmy: ['more than that other dickhead' yeah we do mean santa lol] Janis: ['no need to be jealous, he was a right let down for us all'] Jimmy: ['I ain't, my lap's never been a letdown for you'] Janis: [just a noise so then we're like 'shut up' but soft 'cos we're embarrassed] Jimmy: [telling her to do it again like she did but not in a pisstakey manner at all this time] Janis: ['you should be here, then you could make me make whatever sounds you wanted'] Jimmy: ['in a bit' but with way more feeling than it suggests, like that's a promise honey] Janis: ['good' likewise, practically a sigh of relief at the prospect] Jimmy: [a sigh from him in return but because he wishes it was now] Janis: ['I-' and whatever we were gonna say is not gonna be said '-I've gotta go, I think' tbf the fam are probably being annoying so go moodily sit on your phone] Jimmy: ['you-' likewise we're not finishing that sentence 'should piss off then' but soft because we're not annoyed we're just forlorn] Janis: good chat 💪🏆 Jimmy: [sending her even more hilarious 'fan' pics because we gotta do something to cheer us] Jimmy: 👍✔ Janis: when ain't that flasher looking bloke in my DMs, honestly 😂 Jimmy: #same Jimmy: if you were after a threesome, he's the one Janis: we don't need to spice it up Janis: we proved that Jimmy: won't bother asking him if he needs a lift in a bit then Janis: just saying, 💀👑 literally threatened to tell my ma on me Janis: like go ahead, I don't wanna fuck her so Jimmy: your mum might be after a bit of gossip about what a cheating slag 💀👑 is Jimmy: SUCH a bad influence for Gracie, that Janis: sadly not that kind of Sharon Janis: though she already hates her 'cos who don't Jimmy: chuffed for her that she ain't in the running to 💍 Ian Janis: we only PRETEND you're my hot step-brother sometimes Janis: don't ruin the fantasy, guys Jimmy: they've got form for not being seen again, and the orphan at 🎄 bollocks is a bit too cliche even for you, my dear Janis: fine Janis: at least take my sister then Janis: ffs Ian Jimmy: which one? Janis: oldest one Janis: I don't want you to meet her Jimmy: knowing him he could go through 'em all before new year's Janis: ones already dead so it's only 3 Janis: easy Jimmy: there you go then Janis: IOU Jimmy: 💀💀💀 me before new year's and we're even Janis: Promise Jimmy: and have a 💭 where we should leave his car Janis: I know a place Jimmy: I knew you would Janis: I am half criminal Janis: his stereotype is correct Jimmy: me an' all, he just ain't been caught for owt Jimmy: that #whiteprivilege Janis: 'cept the arse slapping Janis: but I ask you, is it SUCH a crime to tell a woman to smile more? Jimmy: slap on the wrist then though, bit poetic Janis: bit kinky Janis: frankly, he was into it Jimmy: 'course Janis: does depend though Janis: do you want his car left alone or do you want it burnt out Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: one you should answer Jimmy: depends if chauffeuring you about is gonna become a regular thing, more like Janis: if I was bothered about that, I'd just date a 17 year old Janis: there's 2 real options, or 3 Jimmy: it's 45 + or nowt for you, Janet, every dickhead knows that Janis: exactly, got those lifts on tap Jimmy: probably shouldn't make my sister that easy prey for Lucas and his mates, the rivalry would be knackering Jimmy: my fake age's already getting a bit old for him 💔 Janis: then there's 2 options Janis: we can put it in a ditch Janis: that might result in a bit more damage, but it might also make him think someone else nicked it? idk Janis: or we can just put it in a field by mine, less damage but it'll be more obvious it were you, if that's what you want Jimmy: I don't reckon he'll pack up and move just 'cause there's dickhead car thieves about Janis: more obvious the better Janis: alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: just don't crash on your way over Jimmy: I won't have had chance to get pissed, it's alright Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 🥛 out for 🎅 not Ian's precious 🥃 OBVS Janis: very wholesome Janis: nothing to do with how depleted his stock is Jimmy: 😏 Janis: imagine how wrecked 🎅 would be by the end of the night Jimmy: bit like you last night is what I 💭 Janis: You had the outfit Janis: uncanny, some would say Jimmy: alright, enjoy your 💭💕 Janis: shut up Janis: if I was that pissed, wouldn't even remember it so there Jimmy: it were an unforgettable outfit Jimmy: and you've got loads of 📷 Janis: 😏 Janis: I'll go 👀 then Jimmy: go on Janis: don't distract me Jimmy: why not? Janis: because Jimmy: ? Janis: I already want to see you Janis: don't make it worse Jimmy: you won't if you forget about me 👻💔 Janis: that's only the plan for when you've fucked off Janis: or if we end this before then Jimmy: getting Lucas to comfort you in detention, yeah I've heard Janis: just inevitable, that Jimmy: just that #fated Janis: like you said, he strikes when 💔 Janis: #grooming101 Jimmy: it's a 😭 shame the Sharons all are too old for him Janis: biggest difference between him and his bezzie mate Ian, obvs Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: they work around it Janis: so solid Jimmy: OBVS where I get my work ethic from Janis: must be Janis: we'll be nice and not call it an addiction Jimmy: keep you on that list until after 🎅's pissed off Janis: BABE 😤 Janis: I'm ALWAYS nice to you Jimmy: never said you weren't Jimmy: and wouldn't in case you kick off, proper nightmare, you Janis: 😭😭😭 OMG Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: the real #goals Jimmy: 🔪or ✂👅 Janis: ✂ would be satisfying Jimmy: bit rude that we're PRETENDING my 👅 isn't Jimmy: but alright, from 💀👑's SUPER straight POV, I get it Jimmy: closed mouth 💋🐸 Janis: if she's not gonna blow you, you aren't allowed to go down on her Janis: s'like, the rules Jimmy: #daddyperks Janis: only man big enough to trigger her gag reflex Janis: how romantic Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 😬 feel sick myself Jimmy: you said you wanted turning off Jimmy: job done Janis: not exactly what I said, bighead Jimmy: shh Janis: or what Jimmy: you know what Jimmy: we'll be back at square 1 Janis: fine Jimmy: is it? Janis: 😇 Jimmy: wings did suit you Janis: got some weird looks bringing them back on the bus Jimmy: surprised you didn't 🔥 knowing what you're like Janis: should've Janis: they aren't actually mine but dunno why I let that stop me Jimmy: whose are they? Jimmy: 🤞 for your gay brother tbh Janis: he isn't the camp cliche Janis: thankfully Janis: but my mum is weird so swings and roundabouts Jimmy: UGH fine, I'll be the camp cliche your family is missing Janis: thanks Janis: just what I needed a fake boyfriend for tbh Jimmy: duh Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: Oi, don't 🙄 @ me Janis: 🙄🙄🙄🙄 Janis: it's @ the 🌍 Jimmy: nice try on the 😇 for that sec Janis: it's not in my nature Janis: believe it or not Jimmy: that'll why it were such a good costume Janis: Rude Jimmy: it's a compliment, dickhead Jimmy: take it Janis: that I'm a right bitch, yeah, tah Jimmy: that weren't what I said Jimmy: nowt but 😈's getting me out of here Janis: works for you Jimmy: and what, me needing a hand off you does nowt for you all of a sudden? Janis: didn't say that Jimmy: what then? Janis: just reminds me I'm here for the foreseeable Jimmy: I'll shove you in my bag, SO flexible, you, I've heard Janis: and you're so funny Jimmy: you ain't heard that anywhere about Janis: you gutted they're not gossiping about your fit personality Janis: poor baby Jimmy: sounds about right Jimmy: 💔 these dickheads don't know everything about me Jimmy: all I want for 🎄 that Janis: it's great fun Janis: really recommend Jimmy: 👍 10/10 5⭐s Jimmy: you're alright, I've been there, done it Jimmy: bought the 😎 Janis: dunno why you want to go back Jimmy: never said I did Janis: yeah but Janis: don't you Jimmy: for what? Janis: same reason you wanna leave Jimmy: never said that either Janis: everywhere's the same Janis: why does it matter that you piss off Jimmy: it don't matter to me Janis: alright Janis: I get it Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: don't be a douche Jimmy: how am I? Janis: just no need to be condescending Jimmy: I weren't Janis: 👍 Jimmy: you get it, that's not nowt when I'm shit with words Jimmy: take your 🏆 Janis: should've been more obvious Janis: all you care about is your brother and sister Jimmy: don't @ my manager, tah Janis: 🤐 Janis: coffee IS your passion Jimmy: ☕💕 Janis: top 🥉barista boy Jimmy: *🥇 Janis: I put you on the podium, don't push it Jimmy: I'll push you off yours if you're gonna be a dickhead Janis: *pedestal Janis: we can confirm 🥈 alright Jimmy: steady on 🤓 Jimmy: and yeah, you can give yourself 🥈 often as you like Janis: you won't be invited to 👀 Jimmy: don't need an invite when I've got a long lens, babe Janis: 😡 just FYI Jimmy: 👀📷 Jimmy: FYI my 🐕 might look a bit like you but she's a shit muse Janis: 1. so complimentary today, definitely posting all these animal comparisons to the 'gram 2. never work with 🐕, 👶 or 👶🐕 Jimmy: I could do better but you told me you couldn't hack it Janis: no I never Jimmy: don't make it worse, you said Janis: fine, do Jimmy: [a 🔥🔥 sext that's full of compliments because she asked for it] Janis: okay Janis: you're Jimmy: I wanna see you an' all Janis: I can't stop thinking about you today Jimmy: it'll chuck the outfit back on if that were it Janis: not just that Janis: but it was a bonus Jimmy: what else? Janis: just Janis: you were fun Janis: and hot Janis: I don't know Jimmy: Oi, am I not ALWAYS? Janis: shh, you know what I mean Janis: I want to see you especially hard today Jimmy: I'm just taking the piss, you're alright Jimmy: I get it Janis: you better Janis: or I will have to make sure you feel it Jimmy: I already do feel it but that ain't a no Jimmy: on owt you wanna make me do Janis: that's a 💡💭 Jimmy: go on Janis: I keep thinking Janis: we could make use of the car Janis: 📸 some more evidence for you Jimmy: you're impressive Janis: I selfishly just want to, but if we can make it useful we do, that's the rules, yeah? Jimmy: yeah Janis: but you can call me impressive all you like Jimmy: you can earn it however you like Janis: fuck Janis: why are you the only lad that's interesting Jimmy: why do you want other lads to be interesting? Janis: I don't Janis: I didn't think you would be Jimmy: rude Janis: 'cos you thought I would be Jimmy: I wouldn't have picked you if I didn't Janis: I've got eyes, not saying that Janis: it's Janis: I didn't expect this, obviously Jimmy: fit AND mysterious, that means I were interested Janis: reasons there's gay rumours, I guess Jimmy: I don't care what the dickheads at school think, I'm telling you what I reckoned Janis: I'm glad you picked me Janis: for loads of reasons Jimmy: me an' all Janis: I didn't disappoint then? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: you make it very hard to beg for validation, you know 😏 Jimmy: you make it well easy to beg for all sorts Janis: I wanna hear Janis: I really want that Jimmy: alright but I'm not saying it in front of all your sisters and nans Janis: well that ain't what I want either, oddly enough Jimmy: go to whatever hiding place your mum ain't stashed 🎁🎁 Janis: we always find places to be alone Jimmy: impressive, I said it Janis: I don't disagree Jimmy: good, 'cause it'd only be for the sake of Janis: I'm being nice Janis: I want to be, to you, anyway Jimmy: I don't disagree with that either Jimmy: you're being so Janis: you've earnt it Janis: today would be more shit if you weren't about to talk to so Jimmy: I don't need to go on about how #relatable that is when there's loads more you wanna hear me say but Janis: rude of me when you're not much of a talker Janis: like it when you do though Jimmy: [call her up again this time to talk her ear off in a saucy manner boy] Janis: [into it honey] Jimmy: [we know what #mood you are both very much in rn and where that's heading lol] Janis: [I hope you hear Ian, not in a weird way but fuck you lol] Jimmy: [agreed also not in a weird way] Janis: [start as we mean to go on, and we're fucking you over sir] Jimmy: [not soz because you're literally one of the worst parents we have and that's saying something] Janis: [you do deserve it, even if this doesn't produce the effect you want Jimothy, not soz about that either though] Jimmy: [am very soz you're gonna get hurt but not soz you're staying here with your bae forever] Janis: [yeah that's not nice, we are running awayawayay] Jimmy: [and taking all our faves with us, unlucky Mia] Janis: [we can skip now we've made you pine though?] Jimmy: [yeah we know the vibe is that you're hating life until you can be together and your fams would be keeping you at least a bit busy] Janis: what you wearing if not the costume? Janis: I'm 🤔 Jimmy: what do you want me to? Janis: I'm thinking not church respectable but without being the costumes, you know Janis: festive hoe hoe hoe lite Janis: that's the VIBE babe Jimmy: [sends her options with him doing pisstakey impressions of how the gals pose] Jimmy: ? Janis: YOU LOOK STUNNING, YOU HAVE TO UPLOAD THESE ALL! Janis: but [an option, I'll show you what I'm going with for her and then you can pick whatever you want lol] is good Jimmy: [does upload them all cos no shame] Janis: [so many pisstakey hype comments like 😍😍😍 like we're not lying but we being like the #gals] Jimmy: [just having a lovely time via socials, sucks to suck Mia cos we know you're in the shit hun] Janis: [i'd feel bad if you weren't awful, you need calming down frankly madam] Jimmy: Where we going? Janis: pub, of course Janis: xmas eve pub crawl is tradition Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: that alright? Jimmy: it's what that pisshead 🎅 would want us to do Janis: RIP 'til next year Janis: if you make it Jimmy: you promised to 💀💀💀 me before new year's so if I'm still about that'll be your fault Janis: I'm talking about pisshead 🎅 Janis: he's already 🥴 Jimmy: [sends her a screenshot of this tracker showing wherever he is] Janis: love it Janis: need one for you Janis: #amiriteladiez Jimmy: if it means I don't get lost on the way to yours, crack on Janis: strap a satnav to you Jimmy: need a big strap to go round my head Janis: massive Janis: one of those resistance bands Jimmy: if them athlete rumours weren't bollocks you'll be able to sort that piss easy Janis: can't wait to twang you 'round the face with it Jimmy: 😍🤤🤤 Jimmy: on the same page, us, as per Janis: speaking of Janis: want a preview of what I've decided on for 🙌🙏 or you want a surprise? Jimmy: depends Janis: on? Janis: fair warning, it's no angel look, I don't need to be 🌩 down before you can 🔪 Jimmy: I were gonna ask if my 👴💘 were gonna give out but that answers that Janis: soz, not yet Janis: disappointing now Jimmy: nah, hot priest's jaw'll still be on the floor and your shit nan'll still be 💔 Janis: [this glittery 70s moment] Janis: it's festive but it DOES not honour God so yeah Janis: 😳 and 😡 respectively Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: might have to ✎ you for today's 🎨 'cause that's Jimmy: #art Janis: I've even got a discoball to shine in his 👀 when he's trying to read Jimmy: thought of everything, you Janis: well Janis: had to do something to occupy my 🕠 Janis: couldn't keep bothering you ALL day, not very 😇 Jimmy: gonna have to do something to pull my weight Jimmy: not very goals of me to leave this all to you Janis: trust me, just showing up is enough Jimmy: for them, not you Janis: you know what I want Janis: so it is enough for me too Jimmy: alright Janis: you're gonna steal and not crash your dad's car Janis: that's impressive Jimmy: 🍒 for you Jimmy: had no chance to test out my gag reflex so Janis: you know how to drive though Jimmy: yeah Janis: good Janis: not being held responsible for vehicular manslaughter Jimmy: you can leave out the 🤓 words, I ain't letting nowt happen to you Janis: more concerned about you Janis: just don't use me as an alibi, I know nothing about this plan 😶 Jimmy: ah the Sharon defense Jimmy: 👍 Janis: your white privilege, you'll be fine Jimmy: Lucas is gonna be SO into you Janis: yeah, need that throwback Jimmy: he does, to when you were years younger Janis: 🤞 for his christmas wish Jimmy: tell me if it worked and I'm fake dating a 12 year old Jimmy: 🤞 you'd be as obvs as Tom Hanks in that film and I'd know but Janis: 🤞 you wouldn't be as down as the woman in that Jimmy: chuffed to bits, her Jimmy: if I ever seem that excited to see you it's 🔪🪓🔧🔨 Janis: obviously Janis: nothing but a deathwish here Jimmy: 🐑🚗 Janis: stop calling me a sheep dickhead Jimmy: it were you who said it Janis: you're repeating it Jimmy: I were just saying you might wanna brace yourself to scrape your mates off my windscreen if them dickheads are owt like you Janis: they're stupid so yeah Janis: farmer's got guns though and that's not how I wanted to go Jimmy: BABE don't call yourself thick OMG Janis: 🙄 Janis: that's the rest of my family Janis: I'm Shaun Jimmy: jumper did suit you Janis: tah Jimmy: can't rate it as high as the wings or silver face but Janis: can accept the 🥉 Jimmy: might have to be chucked off the podium for today's outfit 💔🎻 Janis: but...we matched, babe 😭 Jimmy: 😭😭😭 Jimmy: IDK WHAT TO DO Janis: perils of turning too many lewks Jimmy: so rude of you Janis: maybe I'll make it up to you Jimmy: taking it off won't effect the rankings, Jules Janis: are you sure about that 🤔 Jimmy: you've got your own scale, girl Janis: do I Jimmy: yeah Janis: go on then Janis: don't leave me hanging Jimmy: I never said you were having it Janis: rude Jimmy: you're rude, stop trying to make me 😳 dickhead Janis: 😏 Janis: but it's cute Jimmy: it'll clash with my outfit, duh Janis: red cheeks go well with a red nose Jimmy: piss off, ain't even had a drink yet Janis: plenty of time to remedy that Jimmy: how long's it gonna take me to get to the middle of nowt for you? Janis: not that long in a car Janis: it's only that long on the bus 'cos of all the stops Jimmy: crack on doing your face red for church then 😈 Jimmy: take you ages that will Janis: oi Janis: so rude and so hypocritical Jimmy: you can do mine an' all Jimmy: know how you feel about 🍓👃s like Janis: can do Janis: since you're so against 😳 Jimmy: let a lad be mysterious Janis: you're gonna be Janis: only gracie has heard about you so Jimmy: know she rates me and my ☕🎨 Janis: hardly a 🏆 that Jimmy: I don't want any 🏆 from her, tah Jimmy: weren't like I accidentally picked the wrong twin out 'cause you look SO alike Janis: yeah I'll remember you 💬 that when you try and 💬 otherwise later Jimmy: you gonna smack me in the head til I'm 🧠💀💀💀 in a bit ? FINALLY Janis: you haven't got a brother I'm interested in so nah Janis: soz Jimmy: might do somewhere, don't be too 💔😭🎻 yet Janis: keep you having the odd 💡💭 'til that's #confirmed Jimmy: 👍 Janis: start the family tree, like Jimmy: weren't what I were gonna draw for you but alright Janis: if I have any more pictures of myself, people other than you might catch on to the big head thing Jimmy: I get it, you want a picture of me Jimmy: very subtle Janis: 😏 Jimmy: dunno if I've got a big enough piece of paper tbh Janis: s'what I tell EVERYONE Jimmy: love a Q&A you do Janis: *the fans Jimmy: *you Janis: lies and slander Jimmy: I keep telling you #notallsantas Jimmy: he's a lying pisstaking bastard but ME, nah Janis: 👌👌 Janis: believe in you when I 👀 you Jimmy: I've got the 🔑s, you'll be seeing me in a bit Janis: 🏆 Janis: be waiting Jimmy: Where? Jimmy: I can't pull up and let them all 👀 me Janis: pull up in my neighbours drive instead Janis: I'll be there Janis: [location] Jimmy: be able to spot your ✨ even with my 👴👀 Janis: 'course Janis: try not to blind you with my #shine Jimmy: 🌟 x as high as a northerner can count, you Janis: oh you Janis: 💖 Jimmy: don't be too chuffed that's only about 🌟🌟🌟 Janis: 💔 just as fast Janis: whatever will I do Jimmy: forgive me, obvs Janis: not your fault you're thick Jimmy: and I don't reckon Lucas' priority is improving my literacy, call me dead cynical Janis: wouldn't bet on it, personally Janis: but don't need to bet on this lot dobbing me in so we're 👍 Janis: might even get a cuppa, if I'm lucky Jimmy: if I were gonna call you a slag, it'd be now, with my jealousy 🗨 Janis: 😂 Janis: unlucky, boy Jimmy: 😒😒😒😒😒😒 Janis: shoulda got yourself a travel cup Jimmy: if I'd let the group chat know what we were up to they'd have reminded us Janis: SO helpful Janis: beside, not actually gonna go in Janis: be a bit awkward Jimmy: they've probably got pjs on, I get it Jimmy: too fit and mysterious, you Janis: just don't reckon showing up to your former childhood mates house unannounced is the one Janis: especially dressed like this much of a twat Jimmy: NOW I get it, you're 😍 Jimmy: would be awkward, that Janis: exactly Janis: not like I ain't spoke to 'em in years Jimmy: 😍 and 😳 Jimmy: this were the rom com all along Janis: obviously Janis: my sister did it first so ❌ unoriginal Jimmy: you're welcome for the nudge, mate Janis: SO funny Janis: hurry up and drive, dickhead Jimmy: don't 🥶 my dear Jimmy: there's loads more fun ways for your stubbornness to get you killed Janis: come show me Jimmy: [a picture of whatever shows the speed you're driving for cars of this era like okay we are going as fast as we can] Jimmy: no luck on the 👮🚔 escort, must've pissed off the lads by spending all my time with you Janis: I get it Janis: I miss you too Jimmy: it feels like ages Janis: yeah Janis: just a hectic day init Jimmy: *shit day Janis: that too Jimmy: Oi, you're my ☀ Jimmy: you're supposed to say some bollocks like when this is over we can just Janis: we can do whatever we want Jimmy: what about the 🐕s and ☕s? Janis: apart from that Janis: and school Janis: and the shit we have to do for the fans Janis: called a silverlining, alright, not the whole fucking cloud Jimmy: gonna run out of paper there yourself, all them bulletpoints Janis: not an actual 👼 or other type of miracle worker Jimmy: 😱😱 YOU WHAT? 💔 Janis: never said I was Janis: just a good costume 😈 Jimmy: never acted like you were either, I remember that much Janis: you weren't complaining Jimmy: you do make it hard to 🗨 Janis: you promised you would though Jimmy: I will Jimmy: 🏆💪🥇 me Janis: I'll allow it Jimmy: whatever we want, you said Janis: yeah Janis: I did Jimmy: I wanna keep my promises Janis: okay Janis: I want it too Jimmy: alright then Janis: 🕠 Jimmy: if it weren't your night off you could tell it to the fans Jimmy: shot yourself in the good ankle there, Jean Janis: I'll have to patiently wait instead Jimmy: don't sound like you, that Janis: 😲 Janis: watch me Jimmy: on you go Janis: no, on YOU go Janis: I'm staying put Jimmy: press record so I can 👀🍿 you try to wait Jimmy: be a right 😂 Janis: 😣 Janis: not laughing when I was having tea and you weren't Jimmy: poor baby Jimmy: it ain't my fault you're struggling already though Janis: Shh, I am not Jimmy: 🤏 Janis: I'm not that easy to break, thank you Jimmy: challenge accepted Jimmy: like you're a 🐴 and I'm some rich lass Janis: another animal comparison Janis: making me miss you less by the second tbh Jimmy: one I'd be fine with 🍆📏✔ so alright, you can be the 💰💰 Janis: 😂 Janis: you might be fine, I'd have serious internal injuries Jimmy: UGH okay, just the tip Jimmy: if that's really not how you wanna go Janis: how Bill really wanted to end Romeo and Juliet but you know Janis: he was already 💀 Jimmy: bloody censorship Janis: what's worse, bestiality or necrophilia? Jimmy: if you wanna keep your job, probably get down the cemetery Janis: you brought it up, horsecock Janis: not taking the blame Jimmy: you asked, there's your answer Janis: FINE Janis: get Bill back on the line Jimmy: he's biased, he wants you to fuck his corpse Janis: does explicitly state otherwise on his tombstone Jimmy: I know what I've heard from his 👻 Janis: awh, he talks about me Jimmy: never shuts up Jimmy: oh hang on, he wants you to fuck MY corpse Jimmy: 👻📞 problems Janis: interesting Janis: how either way, he wants me to fuck you Jimmy: his mind Janis: 🌌🧠 Jimmy: all the 🏆👏🌹 Janis: yeah, had to read some of his shit every year since we were like 10 Janis: we 👏 get 👏 it 👏 bill 👏 Jimmy: brb gotta ™ a 👶📖 called That's Not My Bard before some other dickhead does Janis: 🤑💰💰💰💰🤑 Jimmy: now you're impatiently waiting Jimmy: job done Janis: LOVE when you call me a gold digger Jimmy: you'd be a shit one Jimmy: don't make THAT much in tips Janis: not my goal Jimmy: no shit, you'd be on Mia's daddy if it were Janis: yeah Janis: or our neighbours dad Jimmy: or Ella's judging by her house Janis: exactly Jimmy: I'll @ 'em all when I ain't driving and can write a longer brag Janis: or application to be their sidepiece Janis: 👀 you Jimmy: #bitofrough 😘 Janis: 😒 Jimmy: come on, you know you're my fave job Janis: piss off Jimmy: baby Janis: shh Janis: focus on your driving, asshole Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 👋 Jimmy: [show up when it's been long enough sir] Janis: [get out of these people's drive tah girl, probably think you hoeing or something] Jimmy: [that isn't a rumour we need, turn the heating up boy she'll be cold after standing about] Janis: [been as stealth as poss. I hope] Jimmy: [also please don't crash the car cos you're 👀ing at her we don't need that either] Janis: ['you wanna abandon it now or later?' like are you gonna drunk drive or what 'cos obviously we're going out] Jimmy: ['where are we starting the pub crawl?' cos obvs don't wanna have to walk for miles and miles] Janis: ['there's enough 'round here to do one' shrug like up to you] Jimmy: [a nod like alright then we'll stick around here] Janis: [put feet on the dash like I'm warming up first though] Jimmy: [puts christmas songs on like I know you wanna hear these cos it's been a whole second since either of us have been forced to] Janis: [Ughs IRL Jimmy: [finds something less festive and annoying] Janis: ['kid go to sleep?'] Jimmy: [another nod but a face that expresses what fun and games it was to get him to] Janis: ['Libi ain't' 'cos she and mcvickers are probably sleeping over] Jimmy: ['he'll be gutted when he finds that out'] Janis: [mimes 💔 'too much sugar and I told her she can catch santa in the act so they're gonna have to try hard to fool her tonight'] Jimmy: [😏 cos we approve] Janis: [shrugs 'if I've gotta go to midnight mass, fuck their night too, yeah'] Jimmy: [a nudge like excuse you I'm going too so you'll have loads of fun because we do remember earlier when she called him fun and hot] Janis: [nudging him back like what? 'I get to ruin your night too 'cos I'm helping with the car' gestures like duh] Jimmy: ['ruin it then' how suggestive sir] Janis: [a kinda half LOOK 'cos obvs wanna but we're mad at you so can't yet] Jimmy: [a look like ? because we know that's not a full LOOK] Janis: [turns back to the xmas tunes like there you go] Jimmy: [turns them off fully because what's wrong please tell us] Janis: ['rude to Mariah' 'cos when is it not that song lol] Jimmy: ['she'll live' cos everyone else is listening to her lol] Janis: ['if she don't get that high note out, she might explode'] Jimmy: [turns it back on so she can have her moment] Janis: [just like there you go] Jimmy: [just looking at her] Janis: [own ? look] Jimmy: ['what?'] Janis: ['what do you mean 'what'?] Jimmy: [a nudge like you know what I mean] Janis: ['what?' again like, soz, not making this easy rn] Jimmy: ['I asked you first' and drawing a ? on her for emphasis] Janis: ['you didn't need to come early if you didn't want to'] Jimmy: ['I know' like obvs I did want to what are you talking about] Janis: ['a job is gonna be easier if you stick to what actually needs to be done'] Jimmy: [a noise like really this is why you're upset but we're saying 'come here'] Janis: [scowling like don't take the piss and shaking our head 'let's just go if we're going'] Jimmy: [repeating it like no seriously come here and be closer to me and look at me] Janis: ['this is stupid' 'cos we can't handle things normally and going to get out like what are you doing] Jimmy: [does get out like fine if you won't come to me I'll come to you and does so we're in her grill with eye contact 'yeah it is'] Janis: ['get out of my face' but not in an aggressive way] Jimmy: ['don't be a dickhead' likewise not in an aggressive way] Janis: ['stop saying I am' like stop acting like it's all me being stupid] Jimmy: [an exasperated noise that we can't help as is as much like I wish I was better at this than it is like an ugh against you gal 'I wanna be here'] Janis: ['clearly not now' which again is far more of, because I've fucked it up than it is a drag but there we go, again trying to walk away] Jimmy: ['don't be telling me what I want' we're not letting you go hen] Janis: ['it wasn't supposed to be another chore, and I don't want it if it is'] Jimmy: ['I've wanted to be here all day' because true, like that's the chore babe, not this] Janis: [just closing our eyes as we can't move away without pushing him rn and we aren't there yet 'you keep making me look stupid' pause 'not you, like you on purpose but this fucking...situation, I keep fucking it up'] Jimmy: ['me an' all' like I clearly upset you by being a dickhead so I'm fucking up too, it's not just you 'it's a headfuck, we've both said' cos it is and you have] Janis: ['you never come off looking as bad as I do' remembering every stupid thing we've ever said or done 'cos that bitch like wow, I look so lame, great but nods 'yeah' 'cos not disagreeing with that bit] Jimmy: ['I'll make a twat of myself now if that'll help' goes to get on the roof on this car like not even taking the piss we genuinely don't want her to feel bad] Janis: [just putting your arms out like don't slip 'cos lord knows it be icy 'I'd rather I just stopped but sure' like what is your plan tbh boy] Jimmy: [stands on this car roof and loudly recounts some scenario before they were paired up for this computer science project and he wanted to talk to her or whatever but made a twat of himself instead idk but you know the vibe and the trope haha like and this was before we were even in this situation so there you go] Janis: [just looking at him for the longest time then gesturing for him to get down like come here] Jimmy: [does obviously without falling to his death] Janis: ['truce?' and putting out you hand again because we can't and aren't outright apologizing] Jimmy: [shaking her hand because yes] Janis: [pulling him in the direction they need to go like let's get inside then] Jimmy: [get to that pub lads it's been a day for you] Janis: [first pint first pub baby] Jimmy: [you'll be downing that cos it's very much needed] Janis: [adjusting his ears when you sit down] Jimmy: [lowkey has probably forgot he has those antlers on by now so it's like oh yeah] Janis: [lil lol 'knew you loved Rudolph' like okay stan] Jimmy: [a lil lol back and we're humming the song like that's a banger] Janis: [rolls her eyes but affectionately] Jimmy: [draws whatever today's doodle is on a beer mat and then chucks it at her because #mood I like to think it's reindeer and 😳 related because duh] Janis: [just looking at it and smiling 'cos love it, do your socials gal] Jimmy: ['meant to be your night off' affectionately too like oh what are you like and pretending we're gonna chuck our phone in our pint glass but we obvs don't] Janis: [shrugs but not in a dismissive way as of earlier just like, may as well 'more #goals than a shit party'] Jimmy: [a noise like yeah that's not hard and draws the JJ love heart on the table like see, so's that] Janis: [handing him your keys like carve it so it's real, dickhead] Jimmy: [does] Janis: [snaps galore hun] Jimmy: [a look like are you gonna come here now] Janis: [likewise, does] Jimmy: [a really good kiss because what a day we've had] Janis: [get into it kids it's deserved] Jimmy: [honestly] Janis: [obviously we're getting on his lap, 'scuse us pub patrons leave it out of it, I did realise that you're in a jumpsuit so I've really limited how saucy you can be, hohaha what a cockblock, also heaven help you when you're pissed and need all the wees gal] Jimmy: [you gotta gal and he's likewise gotta make a sound because always, it's not for you pub peeps you shh, I had that same thought about the outfit being like oh no she'll be cold having to strip every time she wants to pee, they are so annoying] Janis: [we know it's v mutual, you do need to get a room tbh but at least wait a couple of pubs tah, and they truly are lmao, soz to do you like that but we're making a point with our 'fit here] Jimmy: [we'll let the tension build to an unbearable point and get a few more pints in you as we always do LOL] Janis: ['you're so-' between kisses 'cos always] Jimmy: [writes 'you' on her so he doesn't have to stop kissing to say it and going over and over the word like when he was carving the table because the most emphasis needed] Janis: [the reaction, you're welcome boy] Jimmy: [we know any reaction from her gets as good of a one back from him so you're both welcome] Janis: [these random old men and the show they're getting, soz not soz, just saying 'you' back and forth now] Jimmy: [thank god you're both 1. shameless 2. it's a pub crawl so we don't have to stay here all night 3. you don't have to go back if you don't want to because we're far too #into this] Janis: [we don't care lbr, unless any of y'all are gonna get creepy but don't need to right now] Jimmy: [cockblocked by her outfit and literally nothing else rn] Janis: [not at all frustrating, go get a second drink after a fashion] Jimmy: [doing the MOST so it's not frustrating but that's only more frustrating, oh the struggle] Janis: [clearly getting a stronger drink, like shots, to accompany the pint, that should be the minimum aim of each pub] Jimmy: [love that for you both, get wrecked before church kids] Janis: [oh lawdy shit nan is gonna be fuming, drag you in front of the congregation lolllllllll] Jimmy: [amazing] Janis: [lucky that's what we're going for and she won't for the SHAME of it all but she will be PISSED hence the new years eve dramaaaa] Jimmy: [it's a time for fucking over shitty family members and it all connects honey] Janis: [like these children need more of me and Jesus in their life hello, oh god, anyway, do these shot shot shots] Jimmy: [body shots also cockblocked by the outfit sadly but that's okay these old dudes don't need any more of a show] Janis: [yeah god damn you for wearing clothes for once guys] Jimmy: [when you live together you'll never have to and life will be glorious, hold on lads] Janis: [my boos favourite thing lol] Jimmy: [but for now drink your juice shelby] Janis: ['what did you ask santa for?' 'cos Bobby and Libi had the whole convo] Jimmy: ['to take the dog away in that sack' soz Twix 'you?'] Janis: [shakes her head like oh you 'a date, obviously' and a big sigh like we know how that went] Jimmy: [💔 mime] Janis: ['exactly' like you understand my pain, there's probably so many santa hats in here rn, dramatic shudder like the mems] Jimmy: [does some there there pats even if we have to reach idk how you're sitting now] Janis: ['there's always his elf mates' in a #gals impression 'cos very them idea] Jimmy: [never not gonna do a dramatic shudder of his own at the accuracy of that impression and then checking his phone like have they been summoned] Janis: [assumedly were all at the same party but mia and ella] Jimmy: [while he's on his phone checking in with Cass about the Bobby situation like is he still asleep and how much of a dick is Ian being] Janis: [just chill and check out what everyone else is up to 'cos you can be smug about how lame everything would be in comparison] Jimmy: [I do get why everyone is obsessed with y'all aside from the obvious of how you look cos you do make everything look fun and you always are having it] Janis: [being a teenager is just being really bored a lot of the time 'cos you can't do anything and you don't wanna be with your fam, that's the tea of it, so when you actually find someone you vibe with and have fun with, yeah, a mood] Jimmy: [mhmm, anyway get to pub 2 hens, you can 🚬 on the way cos I doubt they're next door to each other] Janis: [like I imagine there's lots of pubs but not like a street vibe where it's one after the other so do some walking deffo] Jimmy: [I vibe that because there always seems to be out in the country and it's lowkey like how do you all survive but okay] Janis: [drink driving is what people do but shh] Jimmy: [we know y'all will at some point even though you shouldn't] Janis: [remember when and everyone was mad, esp. Tess and she wasn't allowed to stay there lowkey] Jimmy: [we definitely need to bring that back because yes] Janis: [it seems more dramatic now for some reason, probably the Libi of it all?] Jimmy: [I was just about to say, because yeah it's 1100000000% that Libi exists and she's the one member of this fam that Janis fucks with rn] Janis: [bit rude to lowkey keep them apart even though we know it wouldn't be intentional but if you gonna be reckless gal] Jimmy: [we know where Tess be coming from but also where you're coming from JJ] Janis: [will be bringing that back, for sure, but let's not tonight, there's enough drama] Jimmy: [yeah there's loads of cool stuff we've done that we should bring back because I also remember another time she ran away and Jimmy and Cass went on a lil roadtrip to pick her up that was really good too] Janis: [oh I'd forgotten about that but yes, 100%, lots of stuff to consider] Jimmy: [anyways carve the JJ heart on a table in pub 2 boy because we're doing it in every one] Janis: [you simply must, #proof of this night, ty ty, saying this place is trying to do something and getting a Christmassy cocktail, why not mix your drinks lol] Jimmy: [they would and this pub would, I love that, they don't have to be good we know you'll accept the challenge and drink them regardless] Janis: [something spiced and gross down it tbh] Jimmy: [honestly it's probably milky or eggnoggy and NO THANK YOU] Janis: [eww, just like DON'T COME NEAR ME 'cos it was that gross] Jimmy: [but that ensures that he will come after you in a playful manner, probably tickling you or something, don't be sick either of you] Janis: [as if we didn't know, casual playfight of course but don't break anything ty] Jimmy: [this pub should have big jengas because they think they're doing something so you can knock someone's tower over] Janis: [dramaaaa the huns and hispters gonna be fuming at you 2] Jimmy: [but you can play if you want cos we know you're competitive] Janis: [you should, he could get 'injured' boy but not really really just in a funny way 'cos big jenga is lowkey lethal lol] Jimmy: [yeah because then she can have a turn dramatically nursing him for the lols, little do you both know he's gonna get hurt for real #foreshadowing and also they should write inspirational boss bitch huns quotes on the jenga pieces because we know he has a pen] Janis: [role reversal mood, even though that's rude, poor Jimothy, yes, make him sit with his feet up for the moment and get busy with the bants] Jimmy: [get a less disgusting drink and live your best lives for a bit] Janis: [I think you should get kicked out of the next one so yes] Jimmy: [oooooh what a mood] Janis: [as you are literally just 15 so it's not unreasonable to say some pubs and peeps clock it lol] Jimmy: [plus you're never on your best behaviour or subtle in any way lol] Janis: [exactly so you only have to piss off one person who's had it] Jimmy: [so easily done haha] Janis: [and you can exact some revenge fun so yah] Jimmy: [love that for you so much] Janis: [if we're doing 12 pubs like in Hazel's book, plenty of moods to go still] Jimmy: [definitely should and yeah we're talking about the 3rd being the one you get kicked out of so loads left] Jimmy: [you gotta hook up in the toilets of one obviously] Janis: [naturally, you're gonna need to at least mid point lol, maybe Pete could be in one with his mates n gf and you can have a little bro bonding moment that'd be cute] Janis: [karaoke obviously happens in one, probably the last though when we're drunk enough] Jimmy: [OMG yay I love Pete and you we have to start this lifelong bromance somewhere so yes that makes so much sense and I agree that karaoke is a nice way to end it because church will be a v different vibe]] Janis: [some carols are bangers but yes, on the whole haha] Jimmy: [gotta steal something either during this pub crawl or from church or both because that's your thing that you two do] Janis: [#mems so sneaky feelsy love that for you two, hmm is there anything else we can think of that we'd like to make a thing or] Jimmy: [there should be a dog at one of these pubs just chilling because that's also a you two thing] Janis: [so many pics of her with dogs in pubs, seriously lmao, so yeah] Jimmy: [sadly not in that outfit I'm sure] Janis: [we'll see if I can work something] Janis: [one should be truly bumping, like more than the others, so they can lose each other for a hot sec, you should probably both realistically get hit on some] Jimmy: [it is christmas eve it's plausible that at least some of these pubs would be packed] Janis: [it is a ting, and esp. in Ireland not to be stereotypical but it's true] Jimmy: [I hope you're not getting flirted with by any old creepy dudes gal] Janis: [simply the worst, why must they, drunk dudes of any age, god, like you can handle yourself but we're still not thrilled about it obvs, also drunk ladies tbf Jimothy, like gobby shrieky mums put him down] Jimmy: [sends her a picture of him with an ugly coloured lipstick mark on his cheek like sos] Janis: where are you Jimmy: where are you? Janis: I was near the bar, now I'm stuck behind this group of #ladsladslads from the ⚽🏀🏑🎾 shop over the road Janis: who the fuck did that to you? Jimmy: some Sharon, still waiting for my ⚽🏀🏑🎾🤴 Janis: what the fuck Janis: hang on Jimmy: look for a circle of middle aged lasses, that'll be me in the middle Janis: what are they using you like a handbag/pole for Jimmy: I dunno Jimmy: hormones? Janis: didn't think the #mommyissues went both way, dirty bitches 🤢 Jimmy: dead giveaway that you've never worked in retail Jimmy: shameless all these Sharons and Karens Janis: dead giveaway they're not having lesbian midlife crises thank fuck Jimmy: ain't 👀 you yet, Judith Janis: I'm working on it, promise Jimmy: give 'em the smack I ain't allowed to Janis: I'm gonna Janis: 🥊 for a 💋 Jimmy: alright, a 💋 off me for every 🥊 sounds fair an' all Janis: yeah? Jimmy: you'll have to keep count for us Janis: [come find your man and rescue him from these thirsty laydeez, we will fight you hens, but deffo giving the ugly lipstick one a slap] Jimmy: [😍 that aren't a pisstake and obvs kissing her like he said he would] Janis: [we're actually so mad at these gals no lie, walk awayayay before it becomes too much of a thing, at least you can because that kiss would bring you back down slightly] Jimmy: [just asking her if there's any lads he needs to fight before they properly leave which you know is more cos he doesn't want anything bad to happen to her than anything else, we know the bae can handle herself] Janis: [shakes her head but this is 'cos she don't want to lose him again and we're just holding him like nope, stay with me] Jimmy: [a snuggle moment like I'm not going anywhere without you because it's not just because of being flirted with that we didn't like being away from her and we all know it] Janis: [just being couple goals showing these flirters right up, gently rubbing this lippy off him like no no] Jimmy: [putting the antlers on her like this is my bae thank you, everyone else back off, and for the shameless excuse to play with her hair always] Janis: [just pulling the nerdiest face 'not quite jail cell peril but-' like who's ride or die now, zoey doey] Jimmy: [a lol because that deer was honestly the most ride or die ever 'not yet' as if he's correcting her with a * and they're gonna be going full bonnie and clyde as the night goes on] Janis: [just pretending we're well offended like oi, how dare you but we're 😏 like oh really #intrigued too] Jimmy: [just writing a list of potential illegal acts on her with our fingertip as if it's a real list like remember these for later please] Janis: [trying to keep up but obviously not getting all that just like ???] Jimmy: [whisper them instead boy because we're still being couple goals here] Janis: [just add your own have a nice saucy back and forth here] Jimmy: [love that] Janis: [I'm trying to think of a lowkey way to fuck with these women, like pouring a drink in their unattended handbags? gotta be sneaky guys] Jimmy: [ooh good idea, can't go too hard with it, it'd have to be something like that or like emptying it out and leaving their shit everywhere] Janis: [clearly gonna be too hype when you get to this one and you're not getting in] Jimmy: [not in the mood to be turned away, we're on a mission here] Janis: [raging in this car park like how dare] Jimmy: [🚬 because likewise and also 😳 like how dare you know I am but a child] Janis: [oh boy, just like 'you cold?' 'cos dem cheeks] Jimmy: [takes the antlers back like it's my reindeer vibe] Janis: [fixes her hair like UGH so rude 'probably why they turned us away'] Jimmy: [😒 af like don't blame me thank you] Janis: [nudging him with your foot like come on 'there's other pubs'] Jimmy: ['Direct me then' like let's go gal] Janis: [putting your hand out like stop for a sec though 'don't you wanna do something about it?' and not at all shamelessly going into his pocket whilst maintaining eye contact and getting out the marker and going over to a car and drawing a reindeer face on the windscreen 1. it'll come off easy so no harm truly done but 2. the pub peeps could clock it was them and know they've been got back, gesturing like come do some boy] Jimmy: [he's gonna draw a ghost with a santa hat because don't need any encouragement] Janis: [just do all the cars in this car park without getting caught, obvs gonna finish with a JJ heart 'cos duh] Jimmy: [just doing a little hand squeeze like thanks for that when you take the pen back to put it away because you feel better now] Janis: [shrugs like nbd but doing a little smile 'you wanna appease the fans whilst we're here too?'] Jimmy: [a nod like it's likewise nbd but the eye contact is not at all casual] Janis: [likewise getting on the bonnet of the JJ heart car like that's nothing and just looking at him like, you know what to do, #goals photo moment] Jimmy: [taking loads of pictures of her looking hot af before joining her to go in on any lovebites he thinks needs to look more extra for midnight mass #flimsyexcusesforever] Janis: [don't go in too hard and set the alarm off by which I mean do 'cos it's funny and also a cockblock to run] Jimmy: [interrupt this dry humping sesh before you get even more frustrated than you already are by this outfit] Janis: [mistakes were made lmao] Jimmy: [you'll both live] Janis: [you can hook up in #4 if I've kept count right lol] Jimmy: [soz not soz to that pub for how loud he's gonna be] Janis: [I hope you're not a tiny establishment 'cos lol even on a busy night that'd be heard, oh guys] Jimmy: [if you weren't shameless Jimothy we'd have some real problems] Janis: [we all know you are but you gotta have your drinks as well can't keep getting kicked] Jimmy: [yeah maybe don't hook up til you're about to leave here guys LOL] Janis: [got to order before you use the facilities xoxo] Jimmy: [and you pair are exactly why] Janis: [mhmm honey, maybe there will be a Christmas quiz or tombola or something at one of these pubs you can crash] Jimmy: [so festive but also believably shit, love that] Janis: [win some kind of prize ty ty] Jimmy: [you gotta and you're not having it shit nan cos we're not pleased to meet you hun] Janis: [even though it's probably something a nan would want 'cos isn't it always god bless] Jimmy: [give it to Tess cos she's not that kind of nan so that'll be funny] Janis: [not that you have to endure mass thank god] Jimmy: [challenge of keeping hold of whatever this is for the rest of the night and not losing it] Janis: [truly, probably some kind of bath set or shit biscuit tin] Jimmy: [don't eat the biscuits Jimmy you fat bastard] Janis: [gives you a half-eaten tin of biscuits, Tess fuming] Jimmy: [it's the thought that counts, nan] Janis: [such a 😎 boy lollllllll] Janis: [do you want to skip to having to go to mass?] Jimmy: [we totally can because we've thought of a lot of shit for this pub crawl honestly] Janis: [we have, very much a vibe was had, now you've got to show up to this church and we're just dreading this entire thing, it'll probably be a fair walk and we're just silent] Jimmy: [handholding cos we know she's dreading it and we're a team here] Janis: [god knows Junie isn't gonna be there 'cos the Venus sitch was this year so it's just ruster fam and you and grace so fun] Jimmy: [ugh what an anti-mood this will be, so glad you've had loads of drinks to help you through it guys] Janis: [billie simply not invited even though drew and meena would have to be there #rude oh what a mess, good thing we're dedicated to making a scene] Jimmy: [not that she would go but that's very rude, though it is a relief for us that paralysed sister secret isn't being outed as well since Libi already spilt the Edie tea] Janis: [drew might actually be in prison, but astrid and ro can come through, a joy, I'm sure lmao, we don't wanna get into ANY of this, god shit nan is gonna be so embarrassing over Jimmy 'cos she's a hoe for a boy, any boy lmao] Jimmy: [another reason for shit nan to shade Grace because she's never brought a boy to mass as if Janis isn't there deliberately doing everything wrong, okay bitch] Janis: [literally like where's ya boyfriend, shh shit nan so rude, it's okay she'd shade Meena for not forcing the kids and Tommy to come, as if these kids were raised remotely Christian] Jimmy: [they are hindus babe get on board, shading everyone's outfits as well obvs regardless of how inoffensive they are] Janis: [wearing the biggest most extra hat in the world like pop off, she's like a cartoon she's so ridiculous, probably gonna cry dramatically over her sons not being here for Christmas what a performance] Jimmy: [seriously it's as funny as it is awful] Janis: [we wouldn't blame you for being amused Jimothy, like we would be but not like we're on your side shit nan just like wtf woman] Jimmy: [he'll be too busy trying not to die because of the incense getting him but I'm sure we'll find parts of it amusing to look back on] Janis: [it's apparently gross I've never been to a Catholic ting so can't fully say but I know they waft it about in that swingy thing, you also bless yourself with holy water when you come in the door so there's that] Jimmy: [he will flick holy water at you bae] Janis: [pretending we're melting because we don't care #churchbants] Jimmy: [now is the perfect time for one of your dramatic death scenes, boy, everyone's just horrified] Janis: [just so 😍 as we pick him up off the floor lmao, tryna make sure he's sat nowhere near Rio, even though she's probably trying to be polite and introduce herself and the gang we're like good day] Jimmy: [sit next to Grace jimothy, she won't talk to you excessively and you already know she's embarrassing] Janis: [shit nan gon' be too busy being a busybody so that's something] Jimmy: [will put his head on the bae's shoulder like we do whenever we're bored by a flatwhite function before church has even started as much for the shade as a variation on the feelsy lean like I'm here for you gal] Janis: [at least you can text under your pamphlets 'cos rude and is the goal, as well as the rest, but leaning into this lean too and writing 'soz' on his arm] Jimmy: [and you have signing for shading people now and later because none of y'all would know any, putting a line through where she wrote her sorry like no you don't need to be] Janis: [a look like, it ain't over yet] Jimmy: [a look like I can handle it] Janis: [😏 like challenge accepted] Jimmy: [is sneezing already though probably how adorable] Jimmy: 😈 coming out Jimmy: bit awkward Janis: [loling] Janis: it's grim, ain't it Janis: jesus was a stoner, who knew Jimmy: worse even than ☕ Jimmy: 🤞 jesus won't @ my manager Jimmy: [pretends like he's gonna wipe his nose on her jacket cos I vaguely remember a furry one with her lewk] Janis: you don't need MORE competition, like Janis: [yeah, it's probably graces so you can be offended gal like 'scuse me] Jimmy: imagine the tips that dickhead would get Jimmy: SO on brand for them, him Janis: gonna put a help wanted ad in the collection plate for him Jimmy: don't how famous your dad is mate, fill in an application like every fucker else, tah Janis: that's his whole thing, sickening, tbh Jimmy: and OBVS every time he name drops it'll make the lasses frothier than their ☕ but still Jimmy: what's your CV without the miracles? Janis: you should be happy, not jealous Jimmy: can't be a slag for tips if nobody's bothered Jimmy: is he gonna feed me 🥖 and 🐟 or what? Janis: have to come back to find that out Janis: (spoiler alert, yeah, some 🍷 too) Janis: just covering his miraculous birth tonight, like Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [is gonna carve the JJ love heart into this pew, look away shit nan your heart won't take it] Janis: [we're about it though obvs] Jimmy: You going home after this? Janis: where else? Jimmy: where else do you want to? Jimmy: already nicked one car, can make it 2, easy Janis: oh right Janis: we have to get you home Janis: [mad on the low like this part of the plan escaped us how] Jimmy: can't 📞 Ian for a lift, might do though so he realises his car's gone Jimmy: but you're alright, I'll chuck doll jesus out of his straw bed Janis: we'll work it out Janis: not that an actual lift from any of this lot sounds like a right laugh but Janis: [shrugs like they obvs would] Jimmy: I'll just shout about that I need somewhere to😴 some dickhead'll put me up in a barn Jimmy: nowt more festive than that Janis: if only you were a knocked up teen Jimmy: 💔 fucked over by being a straight white lad YET AGAIN Janis: tell my nan about it and she'd adopt you Janis: it's not that far to yours Janis: got vehicles you wouldn't have to steal, technically Jimmy: not having her round the other 2 unless healing hands actually work Jimmy: happily have her car though Janis: [looks around at the fam like does it look like it works] Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [we loling not soz to the hot priest] Janis: [shushing him in an even more obvious way as is the point like omg babe] Jimmy: [being like soz and making it even more of a thing as is also the point] Janis: [shit nan already in a mood 'cos there's 2 small children here and we know what that's like whenever you're meant to be quiet, at least she can pretend that's cute] Janis: tomorrow is gonna be so shit Jimmy: yeah Janis: least you can actually join in with the shit Bobby wanted Janis: that'll be alright Jimmy: he'll wanna compare 🎁 with his new best mate, get her 📞 Janis: baby 💔 Janis: you can let him Janis: she'll be gutted about the lack of attention she's getting as it's princesses' first xmas Janis: [side eyes baby venus] Jimmy: what are you and her doing the day after? Jimmy: might be a good shout to get them together Janis: I'll ask but it's usually more of the same, so fuck all Janis: with leftovers Jimmy: sounds about right Janis: they'd love it Jimmy: 💔 there weren't any reindeer in your fields I could nick an' all Jimmy: he's obsessed now Janis: soz about that Janis: we've got some donkeys but that's not very 💖 Janis: if they'd have spiced up the nativity he might be bothered but as it stands Jimmy: I'll do one out of snow when I get back Janis: alright, michaelangelo Jimmy: [nods at the heart he's carved into this pew like you weren't taking the piss then] Janis: you're my favourite artist Janis: SUCH a compliment Jimmy: [giving her OTT 😍 to hide that we're embarrassed by said compliment] Jimmy: all down to the muse, that Janis: I probably will be taking the blame for that so why not the glory too Jimmy: there you go then Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: you can come back with me for a bit Janis: for drinks and shit Janis: sadly, shit nan does not attend 💔 Janis: but there'll be loads of other fuckers, if you wanna Jimmy: alright Janis: you don't have to Janis: she'll make sure EVERYONE knows Jimmy: I said alright Janis: ALRIGHT Jimmy: [IRL 🤫 without making the shh sound] Janis: [mouthing 'make me' in a way definitely a few people are gonna clock] Jimmy: [A LOOK like I'd rather make you do the opposite] Janis: [you know what hit me like kinda obvious but also hasn't been stated so] Janis: [shit nan is probably HERE for this, aside from when they're pissing about rn, she'd be like oh you dressed like a girl for once and brought a boy you aren't related to, like accidental fail 'cos shit nan has weird priorities l o l] Jimmy: [OG supporter and spreader of those gay rumours like not another one on my watch honey] Janis: [just banging on about how they never bring boys around like yeah this is why but also mind yo business, she's so extra, and she'd just think jimothy was shy and be like aww] Jimmy: [when you antisocial but people think you shy, their future daughter can relate] Janis: [mhmm] Janis: is the incense making you feel 😵? Jimmy: If I say it is can we piss off? Jimmy: [because yes but we don't wanna admit it because we're so tough okay] Janis: is what I was getting at Janis: ['cos we're done with this and leaving early is the only sure-fire way to annoy shit nan at this point plus what a LOOK, so grabbing his hand like he's about to vom like 'SCUSE US WE GOTTA GO RN] Jimmy: hang on then, I'll have another crack at it Jimmy: *SO 😵😵😵 me Jimmy: have a word Jimmy: [and we're out of here, bye but we're not actually saying bye fam] Janis: [actually making him get some fresh air before we start smoking or anything of the sort] Jimmy: [allowing it because it did actually get him] Janis: [cold air sobering in all the ways it's needed right now] Jimmy: [mhmm] Jimmy: [asking her if she's okay by writing it on her with a ? when we could just ask because we're outside now] Janis: [shrugs 'used to it' we talking 'bout the smoke or everything else hen] Jimmy: [offering her a 🚬 or the pen or keys like choose your weapon for killing yourself with] Janis: ['too obvious if her car gets keyed' and takes a 🚬 but makes a big deal out of getting far away from him like you're so sensitive] Jimmy: [throws some snow at her like if you're gonna be rude so will I] Janis: [tipsy snowball fight realness] Jimmy: [gonna do snow angels because where better than outside church RIP to Grace's jacket if she joins in lol] Janis: [obviously we are, excuse us] Jimmy: [get art hoey and make them look like JJ boy] Janis: [that's a mood] Jimmy: [lots of hair for her and sunglasses and grumpy face for you, we know the vibe] Janis: ['thanks, by the way'] Jimmy: [a shrug like don't worry about it] Janis: [having to look at him to look like, seriously, I know they're all extra and that was a lot] Jimmy: [when you were gonna touch her face/move her hair out of it in a romantic way like seriously it's okay but your hands are freezing from doing the snow angel details so it's like ! oh no soz] Janis: [move them down so they're around your waist under this furry coat like warm them up boy but usually that'd be skin to skin contact so you're gutted 'stupid, fucking jumpsuit'] Jimmy: [holding on tight anyway and pulling her closer to you because always but eventually letting go for long enough to put your lighter in her hand  'for in a bit' like you can set this on fire later babe that'll cheer you] Janis: [just looking at it like it's a ring in a box 'this is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me' love joking but double meaning means lowkey not really] Jimmy: [looking at it and getting the key out like can I engrave something onto this would it work because we can always be more romantic] Janis: [I'm dying 'cos the actual gift she got you for xmas is literally very related to this so that's swagger] Jimmy: [cackling that we both had the Shakespearian rose idea and also because my idea for what he gives her that I obvs can't do because I'd never find anything like it is a swag copy of romeo and juliet you know when they have nice covers and he's like doodled inside and crossed lines out to rewrite them and like written a sonnet etc and then like at some bit of the play they don't fuck with probably the beginning when Romeo is a hoe like carving a space out which she could fit said lighter in but obvs he didn't have that specifically in mind he was just like lol a secret hiding place cos remember how easy they found Ella's diary] Janis: [I'm dying that's such a mood, like okay, pretending we aren't even friends or something LOL] Jimmy: [gonna say that there is also some Bobby doodles in there too because yolo we a squad now and if he'd had chance to get Libi to add to it he would've but sadly there was no way] Janis: [simply dying, if only you could spend tomorrow with each other alas gotta entertain the fam literally this one day a year] Jimmy: [I'm so happy you're gonna see each other though even though you don't know yet] Janis: [like the lowkey shock you're gonna have to hide rn so you don't spoil the surprise for him tomorrow, ugh, your minds, our minds] Jimmy: [at least he'd be concentrating on carving this rose with a literal key trying to make sure it doesn't look like a blob so that'll help you gal] Janis: [oscar-worthy performance lol] Jimmy: [and you can just kiss him if all else fails] Janis: [also I think this midnight mass should've been 11-12 so when they hear the finale going on inside they know it's xmas, v cinematic] Jimmy: [yasss I support that, obvs say merry christmas to her boy even though you're forlorn at the prospect of and dreading it] Janis: [practically loling at the prospect 'cos likewise but kissing him back] Jimmy: [have your moment kids before everyone comes out of this church] Janis: [clearly wanna fuck off before any of the fam can see you like byeee] Jimmy: [escape lads] Janis: [or lifts will be offered and lord knows you don't want that, you wanna be alone and cute] Jimmy: [we all know you should go home now and get some sleep before Bobby wakes up ridiculously early but we all know you won't and the reasons why] Janis: [at least it's a very ali/fam in general vibe that there's drinks and party food going on so you can and it doesn't look like what it clearly is] Jimmy: [enjoy your walk back there alone before you have to deal with peeps again] Janis: [at least it doesn't need to be literally everyone, and a fair amount of you have kids you'd need to be home for, too bad Libi is probably asleep even if she tried really hard lol] Jimmy: [she could wake up when she hears everyone if we want that lil mvp in our lives] Janis: [just peeping down the stairs tryna be sneaky then she sees Jimmy and is like MY BFFS ARE HERE 'cos thinks they come as a duo at all times obvs] Jimmy: [she's not wrong about it and he will pick you up and spin you round lil queen cos we stan] Janis: [we love that, directing him to the tree like BUT 👏 HAS 👏 HE 👏 BEEN 👏 and deffo not babe the adults are still getting pissed but god bless you] Jimmy: [but jj should give her something they've picked up over the course of this wild night like there you go bab] Janis: [we're thrilled, also like is your dog asleep, my dog's asleep 'cos Killer cannot come to this cat castle sadly but she's got Star under her arm like hey] Jimmy: [telling her that Twix, Bobby and Snow are all asleep but also telling her she can record a voice memo for them if she wants so they'll get in when they wake up] Janis: [probably screaming MERRY CHRISTMAS such is our excitement then being like I hope you got xyz from his list that she's managed to remember well done bab then being like I'm up SOOOO late little brag like imma catch Santa and see if this one knows signing and has a real beard] Jimmy: [Jimothy is gonna teach you some more signing bab cos lbr the only other person he wants to talk to here is Janis so we're chuffed you're here] Janis: [at least mcvickers are not so strict they're gonna march you back to bed right away, you may as well stay up a bit now you are so you don't wake everyone at the crack of dawn like I did lol] Jimmy: [and like Bobby will do, there's gonna be no point Jimothy going to bed lol] Janis: [honestly, all nighter it is, at least once the meal is over and the drama you can be back together huns don't worry, also lol @ mcvickers being like oh you again 'cos when Libi ran in lmao] Jimmy: [Tess has her eye on you boy but she'd be secretly thrilled to see how good you are with Libi, not in a cringey shit nan way but just] Janis: [you're clearly not a total fuckboy of a teenage lad, we can be lowkey happy about that always lol, meanwhile just securing the good scran for us right now whilst Libi probably talks Jimmy through every dec and they're probably mostly homemade by the kids so like enjoy that] Jimmy: [Poor Grace is probably crying and angsting in her room about whatever shit nan said and did to her so there'll be enough food for you boy] Janis: [honestly poor Grace like we just made it worse for you accidentally, shit nan stirring the pot always] Jimmy: [I like to think Ali is coming through for you because she knows exactly what shit nan is like] Janis: [we aren't the type to be too busy hosting or whatever to not notice when our kids are upset, thankfully] Jimmy: [she's a good mum and like Tess and Janis she always notices things so] Jimmy: [the question we need to ask ourselves is about Billie's whereabouts because if she's there then obvs Jimothy isn't gonna be like gimme the tea but like he will know now] Janis: [she's gonna be about 18 so yes, she's almost definitely there, even if she was out earlier it's like late enough that she'd be back] Jimmy: [literally rolling up with whatever mates she was out with like LOL how was church everyone because we all hate shit nan in this house] Janis: [Janis really going in on how shit she was to everyone and doing an impression which we're clearly just great at tbh, also overplay how scared poor hot priest is] Jimmy: [she'd love it and you know she'd be commenting on Janis' outfit being like bet she was so down for you being dressed like that because she's been shaded herself for being dressed like a boy clearly] Janis: ['surprised she didn't have it off me to borrow' like who does shit nan think she is honestly, kind of iconic but not, also shading Ro 'cos we all love to do that in this household too, especially after the Rio ting even Ali ain't gonna stop you] Jimmy: [Billie do HATE Ro because she loves Astrid and we know she's not doing the best for that bub so obvs asking how she was because bringing her to church when she's autistic af and you can't deal with her anywhere is never gonna be the one tbh] Janis: ['lucky she had her wrapped up tight enough she could hide in her scarf' 'cos the smells, the sounds, the sights, TOO MUCH 'she liked the nativity scene though' hot priest being cool and letting her play in it 'cos lord knows Ro doesn't have the strength to control her literal it's so dangerous] Jimmy: [Billie do be fuming because you know full well that Ro wouldn't let her look after her as if she's incapable when POT KETTLE] Janis: [mhmm, rosaline, get in your own wheelchair you're at death's door you cow, just shrugging like I know and telling her about Meena 'cos always coming for her life as well shit nan like 'you could've at least brought Thomas and his REAL children' like you'll leave the adopted ones at home OKAY HUN] Jimmy: [Billie LIVID because she's not Ali's REAL child but she is though, fuck you shit nan, thank god Jimmy is busy with Libi cos he don't need all this tea in his life yet] Janis: [also the hypocrisy 'cos Drew and Meena aren't your real children either but are when it suits you silly woman, honestly, lowkey then just hoping Billie will get distracted and not wanna be introduced to him lmao, like who's dis, idk, bring him his food and Libi the bits you've sneakily brought her 'cos you're meant to be ready for bed not nomming again] Jimmy: [luckily she'd be drunk-ish and have brought friends so easy to distract because we don't need to do that rn gal, so much has already happened this holiday season] Janis: [seems lowkey shady on both your behalfs like am I not good enough to be intro'd but we're not trying to be like and here's this person and that person and make it too #real] Jimmy: [this party has a chill vibe and she's a chill person she's not gonna pull a Rio and be like MUST INTRODUCE SELF we all know Janis has never brought a lad back before and we're not trying to embarrass her] Janis: [exactly, it's already happened once, almost as a point like YOU CANNOT IGNORE ME JANIS lmao, just telling Libi to go get the kennel they made Snow out of a cereal box or something to show Jimmy so she'll actually leave him be for a hot sec, squeezing his hand like alright?] Jimmy: [just smiling at her because actually has had a nice time with Libi even though it would have made him feel bad for not being at home with Bobby rn and leaving him earlier, like boy it's okay he's a sleep but he always feels guilty regardless] Janis: [#mumguilt because we're raising our brother, so rude, just smiling back like thank god this isn't going as bad 'wanna show off how crafty I am too, obvs' in reference to this kennel like such an #arthoe] Jimmy: [waves a picture of that sheep costume on his phone at her like girl I know] Janis: [😏 and stroking the lighter than is in our hand 'cos obvs taken the jacket off and there's no way there's pockets on that thing lol] Jimmy: [pulling her chair as close to his chair as he can because we just always wanna be closer to her all the time and something falling off her plate when he do so we're keeping that for Star to eat when Libi gets back as if she's a real dog] Janis: [😳 that we can pretend is just from coming inside to the warm] Jimmy: [also taking whatever fell off her plate and she lost off his so she can have it but why give it to her normally when you can feed it to her/put it in her mouth because you're that bitch] Janis: [just LOOKING at him like, there has not been enough alone time today remotely] Jimmy: [obvs LOOKING back but before he can suggest they go get her out of that outfit Libi is back so we gonna look at this kennel and feed Star and that whole thing] Janis: [gotta do some parenting, cockblocked, at least you'll be getting sleepy and made to go back to bed soon enough hun you ain't partying the whole night away] Jimmy: [they can be the ones to take her though cos then they'll be upstairs already and won't have far to go to her room to finally be alone for a bit] Janis: [and you are that bitch, like no no, I want THEM to do it #princesslife sure you have some story that you can be read either about Christmas or dogs] Jimmy: [if not they'll make one up for you, Jimothy is 10000% that bitch] Janis: [Star and Snow going on an epic adventure, love that for them] Jimmy: [I hope you remember it so you can tell it to Bobby tomorrow night or whenever] Janis: [do your best, drunk babes] Jimmy: [you're not totally wasted like you were when partying, you should remember most of this stuff] Jimmy: [especially the joy when that jumpsuit finally comes off for good] Janis: [yeah, no excuse of being blasted this time] Janis: [it's also glittery, so that's scratchy, simply not a vibe apart from the lewk of, you can break it if you want guys] Jimmy: [that's a saucy mood] Janis: [you have form and you're both frustrated af by now] Jimmy: [fun as hooking up in that pub toilet would have been, that would feel like forever ago and it's not the same vibe as when you can take your time and be as extra as you want] Janis: [should also note hi to her house and bedroom this convo, not that we're taking it in but just for reference later] Jimmy: [yeah he's very preoccupied rn and there has been a lot of peeps and stuff going on but you can't not notice Ali's vibe and all the cats and the contrast between that and her bare as hell room will be jarring when you realise] Janis: [pretend we do not see, more important things to do rn lads] Jimmy: [we're very in love tonight and it cannot be overstated how much of a cockblock that outfit was when the bae always be giving you so much skin to work with usually] Janis: [not your usual at all, we're all mad about it and making up for it now, excuse us] Jimmy: [enjoy that lads, we know you will] Janis: [soz to the people upstairs, aka Grace, put your headphones in gal] Jimmy: [hopefully Ali has gone so we can say she has] Janis: [or she will if you two start, don't need that in any of our lives lol] Jimmy: [Grace is having a shit enough night without hearing you two] Janis: [when you know he lowkey has to leave now and you don't want him to] Jimmy: [and he knows and doesn't wanna leave either so it's like let's just keep kissing forever and prolong this and pretend I don't] Janis: ['how hard do you think your dad is gonna flip shit?' when we're lowkey worried but doing the most to sound like we ain't and we're just curious here] Jimmy: [just shrugging because we know exactly but we're not gonna answer honestly and the point is it's supposed to be nbd and we don't care but also then doing a 🤞 and an impression of Bobby's impression of angry Ian because Ian flipping out is what we wanted and we obvs hope it's enough for us to go back up north] Janis: ['his was better' and patting his shoulders like there there 'christmas miracle, I guess' and crosses her fingers back, getting up to find clothes to throw on] Jimmy: ['should've done the sound effects' cos obvs Bobby doesn't on his cos can't hear Ian shouting and is mute, chucking a pillow at her like oi cos we don't want her to get up because that means he has to leave soon and no] Janis: ['have to settle for second for now' and shrugs like oh well, and just looking back like 'scuse me when he throws the pillow] Jimmy: [just picking her up because he hasn't all night and chucking her back on this bed like 1. I won't accept second thank you and 2. come back] Janis: [just like oi and 😒 at him like what you want] Jimmy: [tucking her in like stay put gal] Janis: ['you've got to go' like he was the one getting ready] Jimmy: [dramatically flopping down next to her like I can't possibly I'm so comfortable] Janis: [pushing him like you're gonna pushing him out the bed but obviously don't] Jimmy: [push her back but again not hard] Janis: ['how are you getting back?' and folding our arms] Jimmy: [a very helpful shrug] Janis: ['what's wrong?'] Jimmy: [when you're about to say nothing but that's such a lie that it feels pointless so you're just there like 👀 and then 'you said it' because she did when she said he had to go that's the entire issue here] Janis: [just silent for a while 'cos what can either of you do about that 'yeah'] Jimmy: [just getting ready to go because what else can you do boy] Janis: [getting up and stopping him like ! 'don't go' even though you know he's got to right now 'cos you're thinking about if the plan works and they go back to Manchester] Jimmy: [hugging her because you don't want to go and saying as much even though it's muffled and also obvious lol] Janis: ['it'll be more shit again when you do' from inside this hug] Jimmy: [hugging her tighter because true for you too] Janis: [breaking it apart like that's enough now] Jimmy: [dramatically kiss her before getting ready to go for a second time] Janis: [do you want him to walk/or does he want a lift? 'cos obvs she wouldn't make him go with whoever alone so that adds another bit if so] Jimmy: [he'll probably just walk even though it'll take ages because we're in no rush to get back] Jimmy: [unless she's like no get a lift you idiot and then he will because we're a pushover for the bae] Janis: [we'd know that's the vibe and thus wouldn't argue, like we might wanna go with but what is the point 'cos then he'll wanna walk you back and it'll be a farce lmao] Jimmy: [you can chat to him to make sure he's still alive if you want gal but you can't come with or you'll end up staying and the fam will be fuming] Janis: [*angrily comes to pick you up* got to be folorn and separate soz guys it won't be for long] Janis: don't turn into a ⛄ Jimmy: use your head, girl, it'd save me building our kid's reindeer Janis: could Jack Frost your dad Janis: he melts away at the end, yeah? Jimmy: I dunno that one Janis: I think it's depressing so won't recc it for your Christmas day watch Jimmy: sounds like a top pick for us, that Janis: play with your dead dad for the winter then take him up a mountain when he starts to melt, still melts though Jimmy: I googled it, he's what they invented my 😎 emoji for Jimmy: rock star dickhead Janis: and he was batman Janis: you're so outshined Jimmy: 😭💔🎻 Jimmy: piss off and fake marry him if you love him that bad, Jasmine Janis: question, if the harmonica was magic, could he see him every winter from then on Janis: and how many winters before the kid is like, let's just skip that whole charade this year Jimmy: depends how many bollocks sequels they were reckoning on doing when they wrote that bit Jimmy: how old were the kid? by the time he's 12 he'll be telling batdad to piss off Janis: I swear he was already that old Janis: one time deal and we accidentally break that harmonica Jimmy: gutted it ain't that easy to be rid of Ian Jimmy: but promise I'll melt when you're #overthis Jimmy: no need for a fake break up Janis: yeah right Janis: you're no Jack Jimmy: 😱😱😱 Janis: 😭💔🎻 is mutual Jimmy: will be when this is the last you see of me Janis: shut up Jimmy: if that's what you want your last words to me to be Janis: if you were freezing to death/getting murdered/a combo of the two, you wouldn't have the time to be pissing about in the 💬 Jimmy: always have the time for you, baby Jimmy: fine with them being my last words Janis: an empty promise? Jimmy: there's nowt empty about it Janis: it's empty if you're fucking off and dying Janis: the ⏲ running Jimmy: what 'cause 💀💀💀 is gonna separate us? Bill won't be having that Jimmy: 👻💕 Janis: he does write it Jimmy: and his writing were heavily ❌ which you know he's FUMING ABOUT Janis: heavily plagiarized, so I've heard Jimmy: 🤫 he'll haunt you Janis: that's what he wants Jimmy: he might do but you don't need to be nicking my mates Janis: you've got a new one Jimmy: ? Janis: your barista buddy Janis: with the 🎄 foliage Jimmy: piss off, he's not my mate Janis: alright Janis: boyfriend Jimmy: if I had him, I wouldn't need to fake date you Janis: 1. rude 2. we're all gutted he's taken don't take it out on me Jimmy: I don't fuck my co-workers, his missus or how 💔 any dickhead is don't come into it Janis: alright Janis: obviously a pisstake but well impressive how noble you are Jimmy: @iantaylor8 for being a 🏆 cautionary tale Jimmy: if nowt else he's useless for what not to bother doing Jimmy: *useful [watch me write the literal opposite word to what I meant because I'm tired and you usually are useless sir] Janis: I don't think he'd mind a cheeky bum squeeze Jimmy: depends who off of Janis: not your dad, obvs Jimmy: 🤢 obvs dickhead Jimmy: your 🧠 is only on the 1 track at the minute Janis: I'm trying to keep you company dickhead Janis: you wanna talk about how cold and dark it is? Jimmy: why are them your options? Janis: I'm just talking Janis: why do you wanna talk about something specific or? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: what do you mean, it's simple Janis: you've either got something in mind or you ain't Jimmy: what's simpler than saying something if there were owt on my 🧠 Janis: you're known for that Jimmy: and you're known for being funny Janis: if 'piss off' is on your mind, hurry up and get it off the tip of your tongue Jimmy: What so you can put some more words there? You're alright Janis: I haven't said you said shit Jimmy: not THAT thick and you ain't that subtle Janis: ? Jimmy: just call me a mardy prick or owt else you reckon Jimmy: that's where this is going Janis: you're being weird, that's where this is Jimmy: it weren't me who brought up the mates or boyfriends I should have Janis: it was a joke, not going to say that again Janis: and I'm surrounded by both, aren't I? Janis: gonna open myself up for that easy shot Jimmy: no need to beg me to repeat how funny it were Jimmy: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Janis: forget it Janis: just tell me when you've got home Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [literally a hot second later because Jimothy don't wanna leave it like this ever] Jimmy: fuck this, no Jimmy: I don't wanna just tell you when I'm back Janis: stop being a total arsehole then Janis: I know you don't wanna go home right now Jimmy: I'll leave it out Jimmy: it's just Jimmy: weird Janis: why? Jimmy: What do you mean why? You properly turned christmas eve round Jimmy: I'm used to it being shit but not this Jimmy: and it's doing my head in that I can't see you tomorrow Janis: we could Janis: still allowed 🚬 breaks, right? Janis: once the main events 🎁🦃 are out the way Jimmy: bit far to come to nick all my 🚬 Janis: someone has to walk Killer Jimmy: alright Janis: if you want Jimmy: I said Jimmy: it's if you want Janis: I suggested it Jimmy: there you go then Janis: you're so awkward Jimmy: how am I? Janis: you just are Jimmy: if you ain't got any #receipts hun, don't come for me Janis: 😂 Janis: eurgh Jimmy: 💅🤷 Janis: wonder how their xmas eve went Jimmy: 💀👑 probably started opening her 🎁s at midnight Jimmy: still cracking on Jimmy: 💎💰🐴💄👜👠💰👗💎 Janis: I'm SO jealous Jimmy: me an' all, obvs Jimmy: but she can keep the new 🐩 Janis: Christ Janis: I swear to GOD if my sister has got that baby a fucking puppy Jimmy: 💭 of the 🐕🏃💰 Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 trainer, you Janis: I wouldn't if they paid double Jimmy: we'll @ Mia's daddy to negotiate the rates Janis: hot Janis: can't wait Jimmy: the ONLY christmas gift worth having, I get it Janis: Obviously Janis: the 💔 would finally off her Jimmy: 👍✔ Janis: you can hit him up Janis: not calling dibs Jimmy: He's SO fit and mysterious I dunno which of us is more his type 🤔❗❓ Janis: you're thicker Janis: could be his secretary Jimmy: hang on, are you calling me fat or Asia? Janis: Honey, you're both 😘 Jimmy: 😍 Jimmy: I'm tiktok Tammy Janis: You really are Janis: I know who I am, we don't need to say Jimmy: SO complimentary after midnight, you Janis: wow, Gremlin is a new low Janis: you're as rude as ever Jimmy: come on, you can be the cute ginger one Janis: you're the fattest one Jimmy: least you didn't say I were the dickhead lad Janis: not actually seen 'em, tbh Janis: if the shoe fits Jimmy: I'll suggest it for our sleepover with 💀👑 and her gremlins Janis: such a shame we never got that Jimmy: I'll make it happen for you, my dear Janis: gotta desecrate all her beds or what's the point Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: 💪🏆 Janis: how long can I get away with lying in tomorrow do you reckon Jimmy: @ Libi with them Q&As Janis: 😩😩 Jimmy: baby Jimmy: [🥺 selfie] Janis: it's rude that you're so fit even in flash lighting Janis: dickhead Jimmy: you could let me have it Jimmy: how fit you are Janis: but Jimmy: ? Janis: I don't wanna miss you Jimmy: don't, I'm here 👋💕 Janis: 😏 Jimmy: I meant what I said Jimmy: tonight were good Jimmy: I don't want it to be done for ages Janis: alright Jimmy: [sends her a 👍 pic like a nerd] Janis: we'll do something 🥊 day Janis: even if my nan says no to Libi coming, yeah Jimmy: she'll be 💔 but yeah Janis: yeah, 🤞 Jimmy: if Libi knew she'd have a word with 🎅 probably 🥊 him Janis: see if I can convince Buster to put on the beard and let her go for it Jimmy: get your shit nan to grow hers out Janis: 😶 Janis: and you were SUCH a nice boy Jimmy: should've said you wanted me to 🥊 her Jimmy: did owe you after that Sharon 💋 Janis: there'll be other chances Janis: not the only one who attracts people having mid-life crises Jimmy: we have SO MUCH in common Jimmy: I'll 🥊 Lucas for you whenever Janis: 🥰🥰🥰 Jimmy: his is an end of life crisis but Janis: 🔪🔪🔪? Janis: 😳 Jimmy: I were on about him being 👴 Jimmy: but obvs I'll stab him if you want Janis: we can do it together Janis: bit more macbeth but Bill should still be alright with it Jimmy: #datenight Jimmy: that'll be SO romantic Janis: 💋🩸 Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: how cold are your fingers? Jimmy: as a come on goes Jimmy: well creative Janis: it would be if you weren't (hopefully) nearly home Jimmy: I ain't the athlete you are, Jenna Janis: Oh, babes Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: gonna have to train you too? Janis: what a #humblebrag Jimmy: depends what treats you've got Janis: what was it Janis: pies, pints and ...? Jimmy: 🥔 DUH Jimmy: but I'll have 🚬 off you an' all once I get another lighter Janis: well that explains it Janis: sensitive subject Jimmy: said you'd be calling me a mardy prick Janis: I was talking about the famine Janis: you've got a lot to learn, boy Jimmy: go on then 🤓 Janis: you want a history lesson, you're the 🤓 Jimmy: if you ain't up to teaching me something, I'll take it back Janis: psh Janis: didn't say that Jimmy: so go on Janis: [a rundown I ain't gonna give lmao] Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: um, give me more 👏🌹 dickhead Janis: that was EFFORT Jimmy: *🥇 Jimmy: alright? Janis: it'll do Jimmy: what more do you want? Janis: I said it'd do Janis: 😇 Jimmy: but Jimmy: effort for effort, like Janis: You need to get some sleep Janis: we can talk about effort tomorrow Jimmy: I've got a snow reindeer to build Janis: you're gonna be knackered Jimmy: used to that an' all 👴🎻 Janis: 🚬 break will make it better, promise Jimmy: I miss you Janis: you'll think of me when you make your Rudolph sculpture Jimmy: got any 💡🥇 for how to make his nose glow? Janis: 🤔 Janis: except for making him blush, not really Janis: can't use any 💡 or 🔥 Jimmy: reckon he's gonna be more of a challenge to get 😳 than you Janis: that's funny Janis: not how I 💭 it being Jimmy: bit weird that Jimmy: 'cause it's how it were Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: Oi Janis: what Jimmy: 🙄 is what Janis: it's better than 😳 Jimmy: 😳 suits you Janis: maybe it suits you too Jimmy: does it? Janis: yeah Janis: a lot Jimmy: [a lil 😳 vid while he's doing this snow reindeer is he just cold, we all know the answer] Jimmy: 🎁 Janis: oh Jimmy: you gonna give me one back or what? Janis: a competition to see who can 😳 the most isn't one I wanted 🥇 for but Janis: [obvs does, obvs cute and dying] Jimmy: you can have it though Janis: rather you came back Janis: but I'll take it Jimmy: 🏃 Janis: should've let you stay longer Janis: SO hard being SUCH a good person Jimmy: all that dickhead 🎅's fault Jimmy: having a list Jimmy: SUCH a tory Janis: massive tory Janis: no prezzies for poor kids Janis: lump of coal to rub it in Jimmy: he's about as subtle as my dad, funny that Jimmy: ALMOST like they might be the same bloke Jimmy: with an identical fetish for the mines Janis: 😱🤢😵 Janis: keep that to yourself before you ruin anyone else's Christmas Janis: explains how he's always working Jimmy: !!!🤯 Jimmy: send tweet to everyone but our kid and Libi Janis: you're good with her Jimmy: ain't much of a job to piss about with her Jimmy: she's alright Janis: you should takeover Gracie's gig instead Janis: swapsies Jimmy: Ian should just pay me but won't hold my breath Jimmy: not with these lungs Janis: suppose he pays you with the roof over your head and that's the excuse for everything 🙄 Janis: know the sort Jimmy: can't forget hot water, food, clothes on my back, be a right pisstake Janis: of course Janis: where is his 🥇 Jimmy: he really did reckon he deserved one for the 🐕 Jimmy: 🎻💔😭 mate Janis: LOVE another mouth to begrudgingly feed Jimmy: 👍✔ Janis: how old was your dad when he had you Jimmy: how old's he now? 105?? 🤔 Jimmy: hang on, nah, what's that saying? Only as old as the lass you smack on the arse Janis: 😏 past it then Janis: point remains anyway, people stay stupid Jimmy: northern and thick Jimmy: top combo that Janis: all people are the same Janis: collect a load of 👶👧👦🐶 you think you want 'cos it feels good at the time Jimmy: Dunno if it ever did for him, more in it for the 🎻💔😭 Janis: 💘 of the tragic backstory Jimmy: *life story Jimmy: that goes on and fucking on Janis: its called generational trauma Janis: you'd know if your ma was a wanna-be hippie Jimmy: @ him Jimmy: and my mum Janis: it's just a word to throw about Janis: if she knows how to heal it she's keeping that one to herself Jimmy: that'll work, they both love throwing words about Jimmy: don't matter if they know what they mean or not Janis: there you go Janis: @ each other Janis: spark that back up Jimmy: there's that 🎄 miracle my sister has her 🤞 for Jimmy: she'll be chuffed to bits Janis: 😬 Janis: shit Jimmy: been ages but if any dickhead can sort it 🎅 Janis: 🚗❓😡🛫🛬🏡🙏 Jimmy: sounds about right that Ian would 💭 my mum had popped back up just to nick his car Janis: I mean, fairplay if she did Janis: I just meant if your plan works though you'll be 🥇 brother x2 again Jimmy: dunno about that Janis: maybe for like, a day, anyway Jimmy: 🤞😁🤞 Jimmy: be me Janis: awh Janis: cute Jimmy: soz I meant Jimmy: *🌧😒 Janis: easy mistake to make Janis: still cute Jimmy: stop flirting with me Jimmy: if I  keep 😳 all the snow'll melt Janis: 👋 shit dad Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 full orchestra Janis: so emotional Jimmy: 💰 on that soundtrack being top quality Jimmy: have a look Janis: there's 3 hanson songs Janis: none of which being mmbop Jimmy: what the fuck Janis: 1998 was a time, apparently Jimmy: 💔 I ain't a time travelling 👻 or ⛄ Janis: "It's possible for the Jim Henson folks and Industrial Light and Magic to put their heads together and come up with the most repulsive single creature in the history of special effects, and I am not forgetting the Chucky doll or the desert intestine from Star Wars." Janis: when your dad gets dragged Jimmy: 😂 Janis: I guess it's better than when they redid the whole Jack Frost vibe later and they made him look like one of your coworkers Jimmy: if he pops a CV in I'll be out the door Janis: yeah you will Janis: 💔 for the fans Jimmy: OI Jimmy: you're meant to reassure me, dickhead Janis: Babe Janis: you're the best barista they've ever had Janis: better? Jimmy: late than never Janis: Baby boy Jimmy: you weren't taking the piss when you had shit that were actually edible offered to you Jimmy: all the 🏆 for me then Janis: I'm not taking the piss Jimmy: bollocks Janis: out of the fact girls lose their shit over you 'cos you can make a coffee, maybe Jimmy: 😎🚬 is more of a skill, we both get it Janis: I don't know if I'd say it's more impressive but more interesting, sure Jimmy: but if you want another go at ☕🎨 I'll ❌ this bit out Janis: if they paid me, happy to Jimmy: barely pay me, mate Jimmy: that'll be why I spend loads of my shifts 🗨 to you Janis: just so 🥱 Jimmy: *😍 Janis: 🥅 nice save Jimmy: ain't a 👏👏🌹 chaser like you, girl Jimmy: I could hack being a goalie for a bit Jimmy: just that good with my hands any road Janis: 😂 Janis: you 🤞 to prove it and I'll come see you some more Janis: teach me what you like Jimmy: be thicker than I look to refuse an offer like that Janis: right answer Jimmy: I can really see you tomorrow, yeah? Jimmy: that's not just Janis: yeah Janis: can't stop me going out for fresh air, like Jimmy: 🤞? Janis: Promise Janis: I don't give a fuck Janis: I wanna see you Jimmy: that feels like the right answer to me Janis: I've got to see and pretend to listen to loads of people I don't wanna see Janis: only fair Jimmy: drive over if you want, there'll be somewhere else we can leave the 🚗 that'll still do his head in Janis: might take you up on that Jimmy: bring the dog like you said if you want an' all, that'll piss him off Janis: ha Janis: he'll proper think I've got no home to go to then Janis: 🥺🎻 Jimmy: DUH the obvs answer is you drive back home after, why didn't I think that though? Jimmy: don't need anywhere else to leave it Janis: it's okay Janis: you were so buzzing Janis: no 🩸 in your 🧠 Jimmy: just don't want you to leave Jimmy: near the same thing Janis: 😎 Jimmy: [sending her pics of this finished reindeer moment] Janis: that's not the abomination I reckoned it'd be Janis: he'll be well 😁 again Jimmy: how hard do you wanna backhand that compliment? Janis: who's good at making snowmen, never mind snowreindeer Janis: only that blindly 🙌👏🌹 of you for the fans Jimmy: me, dickhead Janis: not gonna say soz for my caution Jimmy: that snow angel ended up so much like you 💀👑 'll be doing shit to it as we 🗨 Janis: anything to cool her down Janis: 🥵 to 🥶 Jimmy: clinging to life to finally dead, it's alright, you can say it Janis: 💁 what happens happens, babe Janis: how are we to know/pray Jimmy: what I'm willing to make happen for you, I don't need jesus about for 👀🍿 unless he wants to help clean up or hide a bit of evidence, as a mate Janis: 1. that's actually hot so fuck you 2. you are practically saved now, you're welcome Jimmy: mixed messages there Jimmy: I get it, you need a minute with the visuals Janis: I said what I said Jimmy: 😏 Janis: go inside now? Janis: get warm Jimmy: 🛏 or 🚿? Janis: what was it you said about visuals Jimmy: take a minute with them Jimmy: to decide Janis: you're not gonna get enough anyway Janis: may as well 🚿 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: nothing else impacted my decision, at all Jimmy: dunno what would Janis: it's a mystery Jimmy: [do get in the shower with your waterproof phone of the future] Janis: [what a time to be alive] Jimmy: [honestly, what more could you need when you're young, in love and extra] Janis: I don't wanna go sleep Jimmy: why? Janis: 🎅🎁🎄 Janis: excitement is too real Jimmy: now the answer that ain't bollocks Janis: it's stupid Jimmy: I doubt that Janis: I just don't wanna stop chatting to you Jimmy: so stay with me Janis: okay Jimmy: it is Jimmy: you don't have to feel stupid Janis: 🤏 Jimmy: ❌ Janis: 🙊 Jimmy: that weren't an animal comparison I made Jimmy: bit dangerous Janis: go ahead and be racist if the mood takes Janis: I don't care and I TOTALLY WON'T use the receipts later when you piss me off Jimmy: not my dad, you're alright Janis: thank GOD you reminded me Jimmy: easy mistake, that Janis: hardly Janis: gonna ask your brother to do an impression of you next, nothing like it, guaranteed Jimmy: 😒 twinning's all it takes Jimmy: look enough like him, nowt I can do about it Janis: yeah Janis: I get it Jimmy: you don't look like Gracie Jimmy: she wishes Janis: plenty of other unfavourable options of people I do Jimmy: I ain't got that list Janis: my nan, mostly Janis: non shit Jimmy: fit nan and shit nan Jimmy: easy to remember Janis: shut up Jimmy: what? Janis: that's gross Jimmy: I'm not gonna ask her on a fake date Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: take the compliment Janis: for my nan? Janis: yeah, not gonna pass it on over the turkey but tah Jimmy: she's fit 'cause she looks like you Jimmy: mysterious she can have Janis: 👌 quit whilst you're ahead Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: you're bad at cards, got it Jimmy: spread it about, we'll have some piss easy wins Janis: 😏 alright Janis: bit of an obvious trick but they are all exceptionally stupid so Jimmy: not the worst plan we've come up and had to pull off Janis: suppose not Jimmy: 🤝 Janis: 🔪🖐🩸 Jimmy: open a vein so I know it's real, babe Janis: go ahead and take your pick Jimmy: you're the 🧛 I don't play favourites Jimmy: they're all 🥇 Janis: arteries explode out and veins slowly bleed out, I think Janis: you've already made your intentions clear Jimmy: have I? Janis: slow and painful death Jimmy: for me, not you Janis: yeah? Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: up to you, that Janis: considerate Jimmy: sound more shocked, dickhead Janis: maybe I told you what I wanted already Jimmy: and what, you're never gonna tell me again? Janis: depends Jimmy: on? Janis: if you wanna hear it Jimmy: why wouldn't I? Janis: you're saved Janis: don't wanna drag you down Jimmy: what if I want you to? Janis: careful what you wish for Jimmy: fuck that Jimmy: If I'm wishing for it that means I want it Jimmy: I don't have wishes to waste on bollocks Janis: three's standard Janis: but won't do the whole, fucking you over 'cos you weren't specific enough/need to learn a valuable lesson bullshit Jimmy: leaves me one Janis: go on then Jimmy: tell me then Janis: I want slow and painful too Janis: I want you to kill me and drag me down Jimmy: I promise Janis: Good Jimmy: starting tomorrow, Jules Janis: tomorrow Jimmy: but it's today Jimmy: well past midnight by now Janis: okay Cinderella Janis: you didn't turn back into a pumpkin Jimmy: or melt under the 🚿 Janis: thank goodness Janis: don't want to have to keep a constant 👀 on you Jimmy: UGH fine, I won't give you the log ins for the stalker account Janis: and definitely DON'T video call me next time you need a 🚿 Janis: would just hate that Jimmy: fuming does suit you Janis: you are very frustrating Jimmy: without trying an' all Jimmy: 💭 if I were Janis: I can't bear to think about that Janis: to be honest Janis: I'll just Jimmy: it's alright Jimmy: you can just Janis: can I Jimmy: yeah Janis: tomorrow Jimmy: *today Janis: right Janis: not gonna tell you I'm counting the minutes or anything but the fans would 💖 Jimmy: if I could count Janis: 🖕✌🤟 baby Jimmy: 😂 Janis: I'll show you how to do it backwards and everything Janis: but I'll let you be working with less alcohol more sleep Janis: I'm nothing if not fair Jimmy: and just 🤏 rude Janis: you like it Jimmy: never said I didn't Janis: just saying you do Jimmy: til I do, you can Jimmy: I'll need better working conditions to 🖋 the FULL list Janis: you'll have to at least tell me your conditions if you want them to be met Jimmy: you'll know when you've met them Janis: 😒 Jimmy: that won't be my face, for a start Janis: 🤞😁🤞 Janis: I remember Jimmy: bit far down the other end of the scale but alright Janis: 😊? Jimmy: have to get the red cheeks in, I 👀 you Janis: there's got to be something in it for me, like Janis: not a 😇 Jimmy: and you reckon that'll be all there is in it for you? Janis: they're your conditions Jimmy: but what kind of fake boyfriend would I be? Jimmy: not 🥇 Janis: assumed your ideal wouldn't have much fan pandering in it Jimmy: LOVE the fans, me Janis: my mistake Jimmy: another easy one, obvs Janis: it's the 😒 Jimmy: @iantaylor8 for his share of that blame Janis: didn't say I didn't like it Jimmy: you never said you did either Janis: yeah I have Janis: loads of times Jimmy: so say it again Janis: well fit and mysterious Janis: duh Jimmy: 😊 Janis: mm Janis: that's weird Jimmy: can't win with you Janis: I just Janis: what's that line Janis: like you, just as your are? Janis: go with that Jimmy: festive Jimmy: I bet his jumper were itchy Janis: just jealous of the rudolph one Jimmy: nowt else to be after from that posh lad Janis: his hair is nice Jimmy: I dunno I were looking further down Janis: 😂 Janis: his beautiful eyes, sure Jimmy: if you need to go have a bit of alone time with them visuals, crack on Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: if that's the technique you wanna use, nowt to do with me but Janis: shut up Janis: you wanna give me tips now Jimmy: I'd have to show you if I'm 🤐 Janis: you're always bragging about being good with your hands Jimmy: that'll be 'cause I am Janis: sure Jimmy: I'll show you Janis: if you're gonna slag me off in sign, way ahead of you Jimmy: depends on how shit of a review you give me for what I am gonna do Janis: seems unlikely Janis: track record, and how nice I am Jimmy: not doubting myself, Judith Jimmy: way ahead of you on how unlikely it is Janis: not sorry for wanting proof Jimmy: you won't be sorry when you get it Janis: come on Janis: stop teasing me Jimmy: I'll have a job to touch you from here Janis: 😣 Jimmy: I know Janis: 😠 on the scale, actually Jimmy: 😡 'cause it's festive and you reckon the colour suits me Janis: yes x2 Janis: on brand Jimmy: 💡🥇 hang on Jimmy: [a saucy lil video of how good he is with his hands on himself because the best we can do rn as far as proof goes] Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: 🎁 Janis: you're just going to do that Janis: and act like you haven't killed me Jimmy: I said I would Janis: you weren't messing about Jimmy: slow and painful as I could manage Janis: I can see that Janis: Jesus, boy Jimmy: can't have you calling me a tease Janis: challenge accepted, yeah? Jimmy: always Janis: 🥇 is right Jimmy: for you, yeah Janis: it is for me Jimmy: Where are you on the scale now? Janis: If I could tell you how 🤯 I am, it wouldn't convey it Janis: speechless or 🥴 Jimmy: not gonna be a prick and call it a 🎄 miracle Janis: if I show you back you can call it that Janis: nice list still possible Jimmy: dunno if you can keep saving me and say you wanna drag me down but alright Janis: I want dragging you down to be fun, on both accounts Janis: what fun's a shit Christmas with no presents? Jimmy: you've given me loads of 🎁s Janis: if you don't wanna see me Jimmy: I'd never say that Janis: so say you wanna Jimmy: [voice memo just because] Janis: [some risque photos but not doing a video because we don't trust and the issues there sorry] Jimmy: [that's so real] Jimmy: speechless is right Janis: I just wanna show you I miss you too Jimmy: you did Jimmy: we're on the same page, no pisstake for once Janis: you have no idea Jimmy: 🤏 Janis: okay, some idea Janis: it's not 🥇 though Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: I give the 🏆s out Janis: yours was better though Janis: but I'm not mad to take 🥈if it means I get to feel that Jimmy: you weren't expecting it, nowt else Janis: weren't expecting you is a good way to put it Jimmy: I get that Janis: I dunno Janis: I'm drunk and horny, that's all Jimmy: is it? Janis: I don't know Jimmy: alright Janis: 'tis the season Jimmy: 🥛🍪 Janis: he's been and gone, babe Janis: I checked Jimmy: he's in your 💘 forever, girl Janis: 2000 miles, yeah Jimmy: don't be get getting 🎄🎵 in my head Janis: I need to get you out of mine Jimmy: rude Janis: not like that Janis: it's your fault Jimmy: there's loads of room in your head for me Janis: ha ha Jimmy: let me stay Janis: how could I refuse Jimmy: Bill'd have suggestions Janis: he's not speaking to me right now Jimmy: it'd only be some bollocks with a fan Jimmy: like we don't have other ways to send secret 💌 Jimmy: what did you do to piss him off? Janis: like if I smack you 'round the head with it I might be a bit pissed off? 👍 Janis: his mind, honestly Janis: not being very 💘 right now Janis: letting you leave so easily, not very starcrossed of me Jimmy: I've got no complaints, he can leave his out Jimmy: before you start, I know that don't sound like me Jimmy: but if he's gonna be mardy, might as well break character and really do his head in Janis: he's got NOTES about the lack of ⛓⛓ Janis: but when I told him he was trying to compete with Dickens he went full 😒😒 instead of you 😱 Janis: meant to say FUCK OUR FAMILIES and be all about each other only, not, fair play, reckon you should go back before the kids wake up 🙄🤷 Jimmy: he can't say we didn't take that stage direction Jimmy: fuck Ian is written in every margin Janis: exactly Janis: he wants me to kick the 🐶 in the face or what? Jimmy: I think that were me Janis: doing the kicking or getting kicked Jimmy: obvs kicking the 🐕 Jimmy: but a 🥊 would be festive if you've got your 💘 set on it Janis: he's probably into some light ⚽🏀 torture Janis: I 👀 it in your future, Romeo Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 😏 Jimmy: how far in the future have you had a look? Janis: 🔮 NYE Jimmy: night of my 💀💀💀 Jimmy: I get it Janis: Obvs I cannot IMAGINE life after that Jimmy: duh Jimmy: what kind of life would it be Janis: NOT the one Bill wrote, that's for sure Jimmy: he ain't thinking about how fit you'd look in all that black Jimmy: I'll have a word Janis: I've not got an ugly cry face either Janis: just put that out there Jimmy: it's all coming up 🌹s Jimmy: he'll get his head round the rewrite and be chuffed to bits Janis: 👎 Jimmy: ? Janis: I wanted slow and painful Janis: not to fake 😭 forever Jimmy: set the date then, baby Janis: have to see where you are after your dad finds out Janis: doubt you'll be going anywhere before NYE Jimmy: he'll have his own murder to do Jimmy: can't have Sharon pining forever AND have all the 💔😭🎻 for himself Janis: ooh fun Janis: odds on he'll strangle her though, predictable Jimmy: Dunno if he's got the stamina for it Jimmy: might have to just smack her with something Jimmy: gutted he don't have any 🏆 Janis: 😬 #cantrelate 💘🙌💪 Jimmy: can't escape the comparisons, me Jimmy: ⛏ or 🔦 from his mining days'll do 🤞 Janis: get caught for keeping the murder weapon Janis: just can't let go Janis: I like it for him Jimmy: coal dust at the scene of the crime and her last meal were 🥧🥔🍺 Janis: 😂 Janis: was nice of him to make sure she was fed Janis: blame, where??? Janis: 🥇 bloke Jimmy: she'll have made it for him but if she don't crack on to them leftovers how'll she have enough stamina herself to do the washing up Jimmy: he's learnt from past mistakes there Janis: don't smack her 'til the chores are done? Janis: keep that in mind Janis: thought it was his motivational tactic Jimmy: and get the next one to clean up the 🩸🦷 so you can't hang about smacking that Sharon's arse an' all Janis: got a system Janis: almost have to respect it Jimmy: @ him Jimmy: best 🎄🎁 going Janis: I'll pop out a box tomorrow if he likes Jimmy: you got one massive enough? Janis: oi Janis: fat shame me on christmas Jimmy: 🗨 about nowt but your head Jimmy: but 💭 about it, doing your 🦒 neck in would be AGONY Janis: OFFER 👏 ME 👏 A 👏 MASSAGE 👏 OMG Janis: -100 #goals points Jimmy: give me chance, dickhead Jimmy: you ain't even out the box yet Janis: not in it Janis: let me eat my dinner and unwrap my presents first Jimmy: there you go then Jimmy: don't be taking #goals points off me Janis: well you'll have to think of your own idea now Janis: can't copy me Jimmy: easy Janis: we'll see Jimmy: making it sound like I ain't had loads of 💡🥇 already is a bit of a pisstake but alright Janis: not that easy Janis: I've already been well too nice to you Jimmy: ❌ out the bit where you're chatting bollocks and we're left with the right amount of nice Janis: 🎅 is the ONLY man who makes those kind of calls Janis: how dare you Jimmy: ain't stopping him 📞 in Janis: alright if you reckon he'll side with you Jimmy: I'll talk him round if he's pissing about on yours Janis: Good luck he doesn't do sign Janis: and I don't think he could understand your accent either Jimmy: better at not talking, me Janis: hoe Jimmy: #seducesanta probably already trending Janis: unoriginal but popular Janis: basically this plan in a nutshell Jimmy: I'm nowt if not on brand Jimmy: and #suckingoffsantaclaus is a bit Jimmy: it's just not mysterious enough Janis: SO weird no 😎 Jimmy: what else is he 📞 at this time of the morning for? Jimmy: bloody tease Janis: he's just finished work and he wants to debrief Janis: it's like you don't even care Janis: one-track mind 🙄 Jimmy: UGH fine #spooningsanta Janis: 🥉 you tried Jimmy: he'll rate it Jimmy: you're too jealous to give me any credit is all Janis: oh please Jimmy: stop begging, I can't cuddle you from there Jimmy: you'll have to get a lift with 🎅 Janis: 😑 twat Jimmy: soz I'm not a 🦧 Janis: that's my type now? Jimmy: I dunno what other animals have long arms Jimmy: you tell me Jimmy: 🐍 spooning just sounds like I'm gonna suffocate you Janis: 🐙 Janis: and 😍😍🤤 Jimmy: SHIT that'd have been a top one Jimmy: fucking hell Janis: 🏆 Janis: what do I win? Jimmy: I'm too fuming to 💭 Janis: rude Jimmy: blame that 🐙 dickhead Jimmy: making me look even thicker than my face does Janis: soz you can't compete with me or tentacles Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: who's 🦑 an' all? Janis: 😬 Janis: at least it's not 🦐 boy Janis: remember him Jimmy: how could I forget? Jimmy: what a #lad Janis: yeah Janis: no arms at all there though Janis: ❌❌❌ Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: you can have him Janis: he'll be so 😁 Jimmy: and what, you're saying grateful is my type? Janis: as that would be a fake self-drag Janis: I would NEVER Jimmy: ���'ll have to live without me Jimmy: or 💀💀💀 if we're starting that trend Janis: he might be that gutted when you're gone Janis: if I have the misfortune of having to stick around here and be a 👻 Janis: I'll let you know, somehow Jimmy: 🤞 him and all the other dickheads who do your head in Jimmy: 'cause you won't be a 👻 unless you have unfinished bollocks Jimmy: and I reckon that's gotta be a bit more than 🐕🏃 so you'll be alright Janis: tah for your expert opinion Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: rot in peace, my dear 💕 Janis: with so little going on, how could I not Jimmy: it's a done deal Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 🥀 Janis: think one of the kids has woken up Janis: brb Jimmy: 👌 Janis: [obviously we're dipping] Jimmy: [you wanna post this then gal it's probably long af] Janis: [we can start actually xmas day in a different convo if you wanna yeah]

[sauveteen]

Burned Out | s.m

hey!! i was talking to my friends about breakups & relationships just...ending, and i think a lot of people don't realise that not every break up is dramatic & loud & has lots of crying. sometimes its numbing and shitty because it takes a while for people to absorb what's happened, and that's an important thing that we often forget. so here's a blurb about that, and i hope my shitty ass past tense doesn't make you click off lmao!

warning: cursing, 2k of angst

You'd be a fool if you said that you hadn't noticed how different Shawn had been acting. At first it was gradual; he would take a little longer than usual to reply to your texts, maybe miss a call or two. Forget your plans to hang out, and reschedule when he did remember. He would talk lesser and lesser every time you met, eyes obviously avoiding yours, the tiniest hints of guilt on your face. But he was Shawn, and he was honest, so you didn't think much into it. Maybe you should've — maybe it would've hurt less that way. But you kept telling yourself, hey, Shawn would tell me if something was wrong, wouldn't he?

You think the final blow came when you were sat at your house, your back pressed against his side and his arm shrugged over your shoulder. You were both engrossed in the Disney movie that was playing in the screen (Moana, you're pretty sure), and scarfing your favourite Chinese dishes. You knew you should've asked Shawn about his odd behaviour and confronted him about the fact that he'd been all but dodging you for weeks, now, but you couldn't bring yourself to do it. Not when he'd finally shown up in all his red faced and curly haired glory, donning his signature pink hoodie and skinny jeans. All the frustration you'd pent up, ready to pour out onto him, had immediately melted away the moment he took you into his embrace.

It was only after he'd placed his box of noodles back onto the table that you realised how he hadn't offered you his manchurian balls. He hated them almost as much as you loved them, and it had become a sort of a routine — where he would pick his out and feed them to you, your eyes not diverting from the screen for even a second. The habit was almost as natural as kissing him when you saw him or him rubbing your thighs whenever he sat next to you. Almost as natural as loving him.

You knew you couldn't ignore the elephant in the room any longer. Or, in this case, the forgotten manchurian balls in his box of Chinese.

"Shawn?" You questioned, tilting your face up to look at him, "Is something wrong, bubba? You seem....," You trailed off, not knowing what to say, "Uh, a bit off? Are you feeling alright?"

It was almost comical how fast all the colour drained from Shawn's face. Taking his bottom lip between his teeth, he nodded at you, "Uh, s'all good babe."

You weren't convinced, and he could probably tell. However, it wasn't like you to push someone when they weren't up for a discussion, so you let it slide. Again. After dumping the boxes in the trash, you returned to see Shawn pacing up and down your living room, head bowed. You knew him enough to know how that was a nervous habit of his, a tell of an incoming anxiety attack. But he said it was good, and he was with you, so what had gone wrong?

"Shawn, hey," You gripped his arm to steady him, his wild eyes immediately flying up to meet your concerned ones, "Are you sure you're good? Did something—"

"No," Shawn's cold reply cut your question in half, and your eyes widened in surprise as he continued, "No, I'm not good. Haven't been good, actually. Thought you would've noticed?"

"I—uh," You blinked, stepping away from him, "I did."

"And?"

"And?"

"It didn't bother you?"

"Shawn..," You could tell he was getting agitated, and that's not what you wanted. At all. "It did bother me, but I wanted to give you your space. You'd tell me if something was wrong, right?"

"Something is wrong," His voice sounded exhausted, like he was straining to get his words out, "And I— God, I've been trying to tell you for so long and I just... I pussy out every fucking time, and it's eating me up on the inside."

You could feel your heartbeat pick up with every word that he uttered, stomach tying into knots in anticipation. What could've possibly gotten him so worried and exasperated? Did it have something to do with his health? With you? Even worse, did it have something to do about the two of you?

Him calling your name snapped you out of your daze, and he continued, "You want me to be honest, right? No holding back, no lies?"

"Always."

"I— I can't do this anymore."

"Can't do what anymore, Shawn?"

"This," he pointed between the two of you, helpless eyes brimming with unshed tears, "Us."

You felt your heart plummet. That one word had your entire body shaking in a matter of seconds, your mouth drying out when you tried to speak. Stuttering, you repeated, "U-Us?"

"I've tried... to continue. To pretend like nothing's changed— but I can't anymore. I'm lying to myself, and I don't deserve that. You don't deserve that."

You wanted to yell at him, tell him how he didn't know what you deserved, but you found yourself meekly nodding in agreement as he continued, "And— and, haven't you felt different too? Like we've drifted apart. Like our I love yous don't mean the same anymore."

You wanted to tell him that you hadn't. That your I love you had meant the same thing since you first blurted it out one fall morning with leaves in his hair and his hoodie around your shoulders. That even when he was continents away, you never felt the distance between you two for even a second. What you said instead was everything but.

"Y—yeah. I guess."

"It's just—," Shawn tugged at his hair, plopping down on your couch, "Fuck— I still love you. I don't think I'll ever stop loving you, but I don't—"

When you gulped, it was like you were trying to swallow hot nails, "You don't have to explain yourself, Shawn. It's okay."

"It's not fucking okay. It isn't. I don't know why I feel this way, and— and God, you're fucking perfect," He manages a weak chuckle, dropping his head into his hands, "You're literally my dream girl. I know that it's me, and not because I want to let you down easy... but because what else could it be? I've tried to understand and.. it just—"

"Shawn, hey," You were kneeling in front of him now, scooting between his parted legs to be able to look at him better. His face was bowed, hidden from sight, and you nudged his hands away from his face to take it into yours. Softly brushing his curls away from his face so you could see his eyes, you began, "It's okay, baby. Breathe. We'll be okay, come on—," You placed his palm on your chest, urging him to look at you, "Breathe with me."

Shawn took a minute to match his breathing with yours, eventually calming himself down as he followed your exaggerated breaths. You ran your arms over his arms, and he eased up because he knew the drill. Breathe, relax. Breathe, relax. You'd been here a time too many, since Shawn was a generally anxious person who cared too much.

As you waited for him to completely even out his breaths, you found yourself struggling to breathe. Regardless of what Shawn had said or what he was going to say, it didn't change the fact that your demise would be the same. The feeling of being left, just the anticipation made you feel like you'd been punched in the throat. You could feel your eyes watering, but you couldn't cry in front of Shawn. You knew him well enough to know that that would completely push him over the edge.

"How long have you felt this way?"

Shawn gulped audibly, blinking his tears away, "Uh— I don't know, honestly. It's just... it's just different, you know?"

All you could manage in reply was a soft hum, your hands limply falling to your sides. The more he talked, the harder it got to breathe, "I guess, when I returned from the festival circuit— it's like something snapped. I told you I got back on the seventh when I actually got back on the fifth, because I didn't know how to face you. I couldn't."

The seventh of November. The same day you'd finally managed to scrape enough to pay for the ring that you had designed almost a year back. The ring you couldn't wait to give Shawn, asking him Hey, it'd be cool if we spent the rest of our lives together, right? but you couldn't gather the courage to go down one knee and just do it. Now you're here, on your knees, breaking at the thought of the ring never seeing the light of the day. Ironic, isn't it — how Shawn was braving himself to break up with you while you prepped to ask him to marry you? When you were studying phrases in middle school, you had never known that 'not being on the same page' would've described your life so perfectly.

"I'm sorry," Shawn muttered, his earnest eyes covered by a sheen of tears, "I'm so fucking sorry, babe."

"No," You adamantly shook your head, wiping at his face with your thumbs, "How many times do I have to tell you, Shawn? You don't apologise for your feelings."

"It's just that I'm Canadian..."

You managed a weak smile at his attempt to joke, but the both of you knew that that was no time to be joking. What surprised you the most was the fact that nothing led up to that. Nothing prepared you for that. You hadn't fought, hadn't disagreed on anything, hadn't had even let the biggest to things cause a wedge between your relationship.

"I feel so fucking shitty right now. I never knew I was capable of being this sad. I'm a terrible person, aren't I? Do you feel like slapping me? I think you should—"

"A terrible person would've broken up with me over text. A terrible person—," you gulped, trying to find the words to continue, "Wouldn't have worried about how I would feel. You're not a terrible person, Shawn, you're the kindest, most loving man I know. And even the kindest and loveliest of men have the right to fall out of love."

"I haven't fell out of love," His reply was almost instantaneous, and in that moment, you hated him. You hated him, not because he was breaking up with you, but because he was making it that much worse. He claimed you were perfect. Said he was still in love with you. Then why was he so adamant on leaving you? "You're impossible not to love. You're so... you're so you," His hands are holding your face now, and you've never wanted to run away faster, "And I'm going to miss kissing you. And... other things. I fell too fast, and— and I burnt out faster."

"Shawn," Your voice was barely above a whisper as you pleaded, "Please, stop. It's okay. I— please, you.. I'm good."

"You were the best friend I've ever had."

Best friend — not girlfriend, not lover, not partner. You didn't know what to think of it, but there were more pressing matters on hand, and honestly, you didn't think it mattered. Whatever you were, you weren't anymore. You'd just be a distant memory in a year or two, a song on his album, a topic for his fans to discuss on social media. God, you'd never felt so insignificant.

"Thank you, Shawn."

"I love you."

You got up so fast you think you jerked your knee, but you were numb then. Turning your head away from him, you muttered, "The movie's almost over. Uh, I think you should leave."

Your request sounded like a plea for him to leave you for the night, but the both of you knew it ran deeper than that. You wanted to still be friends, but you weren't sure if you had absorbed the fact that Shawn had just broken up with you yet. You think you still haven't. Maybe you shouldn't have been so hasty to push him out, but you had held it in for as long as you possibly could. If he had lingered for a second longer, you would've probably broken down in front of him and begged him to take you back.

You blamed no one but yourself, at the time. You didn't even think about the fact that everything went two ways. Two sides to a coin. You were so in love that just the thought of Shawn purposely doing something to hurt you was revolting.

The break up itself was hard, and you knew you didn't take it well. You knew, that no matter how much you smiled and tried to go on like normal, people around you noticed. Shawn, who still hung around because you'd always been in the same social circles, noticed. That didn't stop him from having a new girl on his arm every time you saw him, or his name flashing across infamous magazines for his notorious ways.

That wasn't the Shawn you fell in love with, and it definitely wasn't the Shawn you still loved.

And even after months of that one fateful night, you didn't know why he did what he did. Maybe he did burn out, but did he really have to burn you down along with him?

would anyone like a part 2 to this because i think i got some IDEEAAAAS!

edit: i AM doing part 2 so just reply/message me to get added to a taglist!

Read Part 2 here!

#shawn #fluff #imagine #mendes #shawnmendes #blurb #angst #fanfic #shawn mendes imagine

[pokefanbri]

When you feel the world has turned its back on you, or you turn your back on the world.

I promise will never, I will never make you feel like you're alone, that you cant come to me at your weakest because I would do what I can to help you be strong & help you up when you're down. That I'll take care of you, You're pain is my pain & I will help you the best of my ability to see it through with you. You will never have to worry of my locality or trust fading, because if I love you, you won't ever have to question how much & I will do everything in my power to do right by you. But my forgiveness shouldn't be abused or taken for granted to where my respect & love fades, just makes it harder when trust is being built & the taken away...its really not hard to show worthiness just dont be shitty to people.

Just know if you need me,I'll be there, I truly mean it, just don't walk all over me & lie to me makes things so much worse then it has to be, do right from the start. My heart is pure, but it's been hurt so much because it cares so much about the people that have broken & taken advantage of it, and even when destroyed, let down, & weakened its still loves with a passion..not completely broken but puts on another bandaid & keeps going.

Men are more complex than it seems. But I know they love & care of those that love them the most. I just don't know how he'd feel if he lost me too, if it would hurt just as much. If he loves & cares about me like he says, why hurt me at all, its unfair 😔 If im to really love somebody fully, they just have to be the sword to my shield, & fight along side me, by a good rock to get through things with. Hopefully reach a true purpose & something bigger than ourselves. Care for eachother & have our backs, because who else is gonna look after us when nobody else can. We have to look out for eachother. I'd much rather not lose hope, & not lose a dear friend over foolish things or whatever lost in translation when we're so much better than that, it's not worth the pain that comes with it, & beats having to lose somebody that means so much. With equal understanding & validation of our feelings I know we can overcome things if we believe we can, doubting ourselves & being so full of guilt & regret gets nowhere, & we punish ourselves cuz we don't know what we're doing or how to handle it. It's just how do we come to terms with everything that happened, find peace..to forgive ourselves so we can forgive eachother for the mistakes we've made & how alone we felt when together & worse now that we're apart..all of if that got us to where we are now...its a whole mess. Whats the point in breaking somebodys heart that had nothing but good intentions for you. Its hard enouph to find someone who genuinely cares about you. We're both pretty strong willed, strong when things are tough & only even stronger together.

I hate to admit it, but he did drastically shaped me into who I am now & where I currently am life. Which makes me feel my life was formed to this point, directed & led to him for a reason, he helped shape me, make me better, something did..because I'd do anything for him & be there for him if he needed me even if I was hurt which is so fucked & im worth so much more but he still for whatever reason is worth it to me..& cause we had a messed up beginning to something that could've been greater there's alot left unfinished. I feel so damn empty & lost without him, I feel stuck & trapped with nowhere else to go & I'm just waiting to be saved. I just want to see his face again, hug him tight, be his best friend again & show him as much light as I can. Really look into his eyes & show him how much he means to me. Because he's the best person I've ever met & he has no idea what my heart goes through for him. I miss him so much & it hurts that he's not here. He became a purpose & priority the moment I laid eyes on him & its so hard to let him go, I feel like I can't when theres supposed to be more than what I was I given & chances that have been blown without understanding why or how to fix it 😭. I can't go on with my soul somewhere else. Honestly my heart hasn't felt anything like this for anyone before, which makes the pain of the loss even more dreadful to bear. I don't want to lose him, he was the world to me, we were good to eachother the best we could but fell short, it happens..I know it in my heart we could do even better if we just try. But I also know it'll take time, even space to get a grasp on things & I just have to be patient.

When I love with a full & unimaginably heavy heart it doesn't care about getting hurt, it's the risk it takes to try & find somewhere it belongs. It has to hurt so that it knows the depth of how it can really love. And for intended purposes, I feel it's reached its cap when it comes to him. But is weaker & lost without him. Sorry to say but it's the God honest truth.

I have to let this out & say this now at my emotions peek while I can, cuz im a tired wreck rn that's literally crying out in anguish for him to hear her. There's no way to contact & I need him so much right now. I know he's around.. so where ever you are babe I hope you're hearing me somehow. I'm so sorry, I don't mean to be a nonstop wreckless talking idiot but I need to be heard just as much u know. Im probably too blunt & brutally honest sometimes for my own good too, but take with a grain of salt I don't mean to trouble you or cause you anxiety too or anything I miss things if I don't pay attention to every text give.. me a break? I have regrets & worry when anything I could say could mess things up when I mean well. Please don't be scared or hide,take all the time you need but plz dont leave me hanging again, the chance wasn't ruined it's okay. Hurts so much but I don't hold it against you just talk to me, where do we go from here, the things we've said we meant them..they can't just be taken back we've been through this before with unfulfilled promises...how do u say good heartwarming things without real meaning to it, just gets lost & forgotten, brushed aside like they meant nothing. Mean whats said & give me more credit where it's due, meet me in the middle,communicate, i can't do 1 sided decisions in general or relationship wise I need to be heard too.. understand me too & help me understand you more. Im just trying the best I can. We're grown as people we should be able & mature enough to not do the same dumb things over again when it should've been better. Idk pave a good path not destroy it right? Is this a minor setback or can we actually make a major comeback? Please forgive me,you know you can trust me. Just tell me it's gonna be okay, we'll be okay, reassure but be able to back it up. You must know how scared I am to lose you I just can't babe you're 1 in a million to me. Please don't give up before we even start. I still care about you nomatter what. Realistically, u know as well as I how shitty of a situation this is, we're besides ourselves, & can be a pain in eachothers butts...but we can make it through I just know it. I promise I will be there for you. Always

I hope you miss me too. I love you

I hope you're okay & well, & are eating well.

Take care of yourself, Hopefully talk soon if you're up for it