#and everything is getting worse | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

errolluck · 2 months

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I'm tired. Of all of this.

Every fucking day feels like the same, yet it gets heavier. Things get worse, nothing gets better and the few things that gave me security, happiness, where I thought I could escape and be free for some moments, are getting corrupted, forgotten, stained forever, never to be the same refuge they once were.

I'm tired of living sometimes. Of existing on this world.

I know how dying feels; it's calming, the darkness eats you and you feel without worries for the first time in your existance. You know it and that frees you.

But I don't want to die. I'm a coward. I want to continue living on this earth just because I think I can do something in the future, something that will fix everything, something that will give a purporse to everything I've done and lived through.

But we all know that is just a lie to make us feel better, don't we?

Because, at the end of all, do we really matter? What can assure us that?

I'm tired. Too tired.

I want to go somewhere else, but there is nowhere to escape. I want to say that I want to go home, go to the park, go to a forest and be happy. But this is something that will haunt me, haunt me forever and everywhere until the end.

Because you can't escape yourself.

I'm tired...

#I'm not ok right now #my mental health is declining #and everything is getting worse #even the little things that I used to escape reality are rotting #Im just tired #of every single fucking thing that happens #I just wanna curl up and not move at all #Sorry for the vent #but i need to get it out #Im not considering suicide #I don't want to be a weight even after Im gone #and again #i dont want to die #but I just #I just don't want to do this anymore #I don't know what to do #I feel pointless #I think this is just another crisis episode I'm having and I'm going to be fine in some weeks #but I just have to get this out of my chest #I pretend to be ok #to be happy to see if I can truly be happy again #trying to be normal #and ignore everything else that is wrong around me and with me #Sorry again #sorry for the vent #you don't have to worry about me #I don't wanna stress people because I'm not worth it

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tetrabytez · 5 months

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How are we supposed to say, "It gets better," anymore?

#the world seems to be caving in on itself #and everything is getting worse

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omgjolras · 3 months

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les misérables 2012 has definitely committed many war crimes but it is redeemed by unintentionally being one of the gayest adaptations of all time like tom hooper cast the cuntiest twink enjolras the most soul crushing yearning grantaire the most pathetic gay javert but he intended NONE Of it

#les mis #les miserables #les mis 2012 #enjolras #grantaire #javert #like i am sure he intended none of it because he inserted that weird scene with grantaire and what i assume is matelote #her in his lap when in the brick he's literally harassing her lmaooo #i always ignore it because it's so canon divergent it's everything divergent regardless of R's sexuality he gets noooooo bitches #i legitimately think he was actively trying to no homo through it but accidentally made it worse

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barghest-land · 2 months

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it's been more than 2 years. let's not pretend that my routine now isn't completely fucked i normally don't draw or share something that personal, but now it's a way to cope. somehow. plus, i think, it should be normal to talk about

#i say this a lot but i'm tired #it's just getting worse and nothing helps at this point tbh so i'm trying everything to keep myself alive #i wish it was a figure of speech #barghestland #art #artists on tumblr #things here are just about the end of this winter. but it's more than that. there's just no way i could draw it all.

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danny-chase · 1 year

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I feel like people understand that Dick changed while Jason was gone, but where it goes wrong half the time is people assume that Dick "growing up" meant that Dick was irresponsible around the time he and Jason interacted/was mean and unable to conceal his jealousy well, which he then evolved from due to Jason's death and was able to build a loving big brother relationship with Tim and Damian and fix his relationship with Bruce.

Meanwhile canon is like:

>Be me, Dick Grayson, esteemed and respected leader of the Teen Titans

> Your younger brother dies

> Fire the youngest member of the Titans because it happened because you had a crisis of responsibility about child vigilantism

> Get punched by your not-official dad

> Help mentor new younger brother because you can't stop him and Bruce from the path they're on, and like hell is another kid going to die

> Kid dies. Not that one. The ex-member of the Titans died disobeying your orders and saving the world in a heroic sacrifice you didn't want him to make, this is exactly what you tried to avoid

> So did two of your friends and one of their moms

> Failed marriage, and a whole lot of relationship stuff you don't want to talk about

> Dad didn't ask you to surpass him in the roll he trained you for since you were 8, gives it to a guy who goes of the rails and starts trying to kill ppl

> Dad asks you to take the roll because he literally has 0 other options and wants to take a vacation

> Bond with younger brother II more, will kill everyone in this room and yourself if anything happens to him

> Move to a new awful city that's often compared to hell

> Having nothing to lose makes it kind of nice here

> Younger brother II gets killed by the same guy who killed younger brother I

> Kill the guy

> Younger brother II wasn't actually dead

> Dad used CPR, so neither is the guy who killed them

> Angst over not being a good enough person not to kill your brother's murderer

> Things start to become okay again

> Best friend dies

> Get shot in the shoulder and fired from your job

> Childhood home gets burned down, 20+ people die

> Apartment building blows up, 22 of your friends and acquaintances die

> Find out it's because someone was specifically targeting you

> Person dies for talking to you

> Choose to step aside and let the guy targetting you die

> Run home because dad needs help

> Get shot in the leg, while passed out another kid hero dies

> Quit being a hero

> Join the mob

> Things start to get better

> Help dad out with some case about this guy named the Red Hood

> City gets nuked because you live there

> Get radiation burns and pass out while saving people, content that you died doing something good

> Dad saved you

> You're still alive :/

> Propose to your ex-girlfriend (not the one from the last marriage)

> Crisis event happens, take a laser beam meant for your father

> Coma for 3 weeks

> She says no (for good reasons)

> You're still alive :/

~and around here is where Dick finds out Jason's alive~

Anyways Dick was not more well adjusted by the time Jason came back from the dead, his life was a constant series of L's, and he got worse 😎

#anyways aus where Jason comes back and is like wtf is wrong with you? >>>> aus where Jason is like. wow dick sucked ass as a brother to me #how come he's so well adjusted and loving to the rest of you #dick did change while jason was gone. he did not get better. he only got worse #Dick's downward spiral of a life is everything to me #most ppl also forget that it took time for Dick and Damian to get along he was not doing good at first shdjdjjdjd #and tim was off doing his own thing for a while at the time #dick grayson

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little-pondhead · 4 months

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Danny moved to Gotham.

Freakshow is touring in Gotham.

Freakshow knows Danny is in Gotham.

Danny knows Freakshow is still after him.

Danny's faith in heroes has been shattered.

Danny turns to the only person powerful enough to run Freakshow out of town, hopefully for good.

Danny turns to the Joker for help.

The Joker is looking for a new punching bag sidekick after Harley Quinn left him.

Danny is just the perfect person to be shaped by the Joker's hands.

Danny becomes the new Joker Junior.

#pondhead blurbs #dpxdc #how we feeling about this fellas #i think it's an ideal angst fic #but i don't wanna write it lol #the younger danny is the worse it gets #someone said that danny shouldn't be afraid of the joker because he's a clown and freakshow is a ringmaster. not a clown #if i find that post i'll tag the creator cause i can't remember rn #but i'm imagining danny who is heavily traumatized and scared and lonely #finding out that one of his worst enemies he hoped to never see again is hunting him and is so close danny has to check his eyes every day #just to make sure they haven't turned red #his anxiety is out of control and he's not about to go find a Bat or Bird to talk to #who would believe him anyways? he's a monster #but danny needs help cause he will not survive this on his own and he knows it #freakshow haunts his every waking dream #but freakshow isn't from gotham. he doesn't have the city's curses engraved into his blood. he never died and he's not truly teasing death #so danny chooses to plead for help from the only predator bigger than freakshow (in his eyes) who IS from gotham #danny goes to the Joker. prepared to offer everything but his free will and free mind. he can't give those up. it's all he has.#danny is a feral house cat asking a tiger to take care of a mountain lion for him by offering the tiger his own liver on a silver platter #joker is...delighted? maybe? no one is quite sure. but he takes what danny offers.#here is this little boy. almost the same age as the second robin when he died. pleading for the JOKER to be his savior. this will be fun

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trek-tracks · 6 months

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The funniest part of this reply is not that it was on a completely innocuous post...

The funniest part is that it was on an innocuous post about Amok Time, an episode which canonically, as a major plot point, makes Star Trek characters roll around in the dirt.

Sir, take this up with Theodore Sturgeon, I was not involved in this decision

#star trek #star trek tos #spock #jim kirk #amok time #leonard mccoy #captain kirk #bones mccoy #theodore sturgeon #i'm counting bones because he also gets his knees dirty #cw homophobia #is this person a dry cleaner who despairs for the state of starfleet pants #well they're blocked now because I gave them three chances to try for a positive interaction #and instead they got worse #Ah yes #they also suggested instead of aos that we get a series about refitting the Enterprise with a secondary hull #or a universe where the borg have conquered everything

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aroaceleovaldez · 6 months

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honestly Percy and Nico's dynamic is made even funnier when you take into account how Will is written in TSATS. Like, oh okay then, Nico just has horrible taste in men and keeps getting smitten with boys who loathe everything he stands for. Percy stopped being Nico's type because Percy started to respect him too much. Cupid is yelling at Nico to raise his standards while Nico scopes out the latest guy who will treat him wrong to take on a date to the Underworld.

#pjo #percy jackson #riordanverse #nico di angelo #will solace #TSATS #the sun and the star #Cupid: YOU CAN DO BETTER || Nico: You're right! I *could* do worse! || Cupid: *NO*#Nico's self-esteem is so low he thinks people who respect him are a deal-breaker. Cupid Reyna Hazel and Jason screaming in the bg #Nico handshake emoji Leo. ''i know they dont like me and want me to get rid of everything that defines me. but they're willing to date me''#Leo's desperate for approval so he has an excuse. Nico doesnt care about fitting in though so he's just doing that to himself for no reason #these boys have so many problems but it's kinda funny. and makes for interesting narrative

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pbnmj · 5 months

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tfw the man you love against your better judgement gets a kid to help him with his photojournalism and dies trying to expose the criminal he's been blackmailing and then the kid puts on a uniform that's way too big for him and calls himself spider-man after ben urich and you know he's going to get killed trying to serve justice to all the criminals in new york. and now there's a sixteen year old kid bleeding out on felicia's doorstep and again despite her better judgement, she cares. how much of that is a misplaced sense of responsibility for her dead lover, and how much of that is the deep feeling of injustice over how this child is the one fighting, and how felicia knows that she could never turn him away. what then </3

#we need more jaded old man who hates everyone and is overly harsh to the young girl theyre protecting but they end up like family #except the its a jaded old woman and a young boy. and i think noir peter felicia could be set up like this :)#especially bc i rly dont think felicia has a parental bone in her body. the dynamics get better/worse due to this #i really really need that feeling of guilt and helplessness and the 'YOU ARE NOT MY MOTHER' fight with them #i also think they need to have an awkward touching talk about ben and the mess he leaves behind and EVERYTHING #first thing that is coming out of the drafts in so long and its deranged noir takes what else did anyone expect tbh #spider-man noir #spiderman noir #peter parker #felicia hardy #my art #noir #felicia

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melverie · 1 year

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currently thinking about Satan in nightbringer vs in the original

thinking about how in nightbringer he's always outside HoL when he wants to be alone since the others are always in the library + they keep chaining him to his bed, so he most likely doesn't feel safe in his own room to begin with

how Asmo keeps trying to invade his personal space (asking to do his hair, nails etc.) and doesn't take the hint, and how Lucifer casted a spell on Satan so he physically could not leave his side for a while, and how he's never really allowed the time to properly work through his emotions

that dinner party where the others all started talking about the Celestial Realm until Satan eventually stormed off

the way he describes being in their presence as torture and refuses to see them as his brothers, yet he's instantly calm around MC because they treat him decently

how the others kept complaining over how the demons of the Devildom were treating them-how they were discriminated against because they're fallen angels-yet they keep on treating Satan, the only full-fledged demon of HoL, like some feral animal that has to be put down in two days

currently thinking about how the very first thing we learn about Satan in the original is that he masks his emotions

him saying that he loves to go on walks alone and how he gets to meet all kinds of different people that way

thinking about how he's usually in the library instead of his room

when they were all up in the human world and the other brothers were outside stargazing, meanwhile Satan stayed inside. And when asked about it by Lucifer, he claimed it was because he wanted to read before offhandedly mentioning that they're reminiscing about the Celestial Realm and he won't understand any of it anyway

he now gets along better with all of his brothers and yet, when the two of them got lost once, he told MC that there's no need to worry, because his brothers would come looking for them, making it a point to add that they wouldn't search for him

that time Satan ran away to the human world and Levi, Asmo (arguably the two brothers closest to him) and MC came to bring him back. How he started getting angry at one of their questions, so they opted for running away instead of even attempting to comfort him in any way

how his first response after Lucifer told him to leave HoL was to actually pack his things; how he was fully intent on leaving, and how when MC comes to check on him, he instantly tells them that his brothers would never stop him from leaving, that they think it's funny

the way he seemed genuienly surprised when MC accepted after he asked them out to the dance, and then admitting he actually thought that they wouldn't want to go with him

MC being his main source for comfort, and Satan even calling them his sanctuary. How before MC it was books and cats; his room being filled to the brim with books, to the point it's become a safety hazard, and him always carrying cat treats with him

currently thinking about how Satan's first instict whenever he gets angry is to isolate himself, if possible even lock himself up in his room for days on end and how his brothers don't seem to pay it much attention (Levi once said that they already had a shut-in, they don't need another one). And how he doesn't even necessarily need to give into his wrath, how simply getting worked up over something someone else said is enough for him to isolate himself

also thinking about the whole idea of 'you become the person that would have saved you when you were younger' and how Satan in the og game is literally so full of love and very kind, patient and compassionate when given the chance to fully be himself

#you can also tell from some of his dialog in both games that he's just incredibly lonely #i just wanna hug him for eternity and tell him that everything will be okay :(#but fr the others literally keep chaining him up and then ask themselves why his behavior seems to be getting worse #hMm I wOnDeR wHy #also i'm not 100% sure about him avoiding his room in the og game #but every scene I can think of where he WAS actually in his room was because he needed something from there #anyway i'm probably misremembering some things I mentioned #obey me #obey me satan #;mel's analyses #mel's starry musings

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guinevereslancelot · 2 months

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what was with cameron house md she spends 90% of the episode saying she wants their patient to die bc he's a genocidal dictator and her colleague husband says "babe it bothers me for ethical reasons that you want our patient to die :(" and she said "hm maybe you're right :/" but when it comes down to it the genocidal dictator lays a finger on her in an aggressive manner and chase instantly commits medical malpractice to murder the guy and then when he tells her she LEAVES HIM bc boo hoo he's a murderer now like GIRL he killed a man for you!!! he's wracked with catholic guilt!!! he's being crushed beneath the weight of his sins because he chose his devotion to you over his devotion to god!!! he literally could not get any sexier at this moment in time!!!

#girl what are you doing......#also just in general she did not deserve him honestly he was so good to her and for WHAT #just to be abandoned at peak devotion and guilt and hotness 🙄#girl get OUT of my way i'm stronger than you #if she cared she could fix him or make him worse but i could love and support him no matter what 😌#his muder is a part of him and its SEXY #robert chase #house md #malpractice md #i know the actors broke up irl or whatever but wtf.....#i should have ended my rewatch w their happy lil wedding at the end of s5 #s6 everything instantly goes to shit #and stays shitty #chase should be happy fr #he's supposed to turn into house basically but they should have made him the well adjusted version of house #like how nightwing is the well adjusted version of batman #anyway i have no real point here i just lowkey dont like cameron bc of this arc #also her obsession w house is so weird i wish they hadn't made that a thing #this has been a shitpost #anyway she left chase at the absolute peak of his sexiness wtf.......#anyway since this apparently needs to be said its not that deep this is a silly post if you send me hate messages i wont answer #i block and ignore anon hate bc i am too busy touching grass to be rude to strangers over a tv show

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tangledinink · 9 months

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I’ve been having your aus in my brain for a while. I absolutely love them 🥰

Question for Swanatello, have you ever had a strong desire to go back home to the lair or do you even remember much about the lair being your home, even with the bracelet and board? Like, have you ever in the middle of the day just randomly think “I want to go home” while thinking about the lair?

Of course he does. He doesn't remember details very often... but the one downside of the bracelet is that now he is almost constantly aware that something is wrong. Even when he doesn't understand what's going on-- he almost always knows that something is wrong with him and with the world around him. He wishes for things he can't remember. He aches over the absence of things that he can't recall. He misses people that he doesn't know. He can't remember home, but he knows he's not there.

Swanatello hates to be alone now. Overall, it's for the best, it helps, but every evening he's introduced to the idea that something is horribly wrong, and then he's promised that someone is going to be there soon to help. And every evening, he has to wait to see if that promise will be fulfilled and if his family will come and help him.

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pretentiouswreckingball · 7 months

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Me watching the Percy Jackson teaser trailer for the twentieth time and losing my mind over the fact that a story that I’ve been following and loving and treasure for the better part of a decade it’s perfect and amazing and everything I could’ve asked for and it will finally come to life in less than three months and I CANNOT COPE

#this is everything and more #guys I’m really losing my shit over here #i —i don’t know what to tell you this is only going to get worse #I grew up with that I cannot believe it’s only a few weeks away now #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson disney+#loops is losing her mind again #over Percy Jackson which is only expected

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thronealigned · 8 months

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no it's fine this mind flayer is totally my friend and 100% honest with me all the time it's ok it likes me everything's so normal

#bg3 spoilers #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #i love how raphael directly calls you out on this. 'if id have known you were so gullible i wouldve tricked you into selling your soul for #a bowl of beans when we first met'#and then just keeps insulting you more if you keep insisting emp's really your ally #oc: impulse #sure this'll go in their tag #everything about impulse's Thing with the emperor is so funny to me. and then deeply fucked up if you think about it long enough. and then #really funny again if you think about it even longer #one day i'll do their 2.0 playthrough so i can fully form all my thoughts. and get better screenshots and the ceremorphosis ending #i mean there's nothing stopping me from loading an impulse 1.0 save and going ceremorphosis from there but idk it'd feel wrong #impulse has more tadpoles in their brain than synapses by act 3 and it does really fundamentally change them as a person #tfw your chaotic neutral act-first-ask-questions-never no-impulse-control 17 CHA bestie becomes one of the most detached calculating people #you've ever met. all their old casual wit and humor is still there but they think before they speak now and that really shouldnt feel as #sinister as it does. they have this look in their eye and it feels like they view everyone around them as lesser beings #not because they view other people as subhuman or worse than they are but because they view themself as something *more*#if they have any raw unfiltered emotion left you haven't seen it in weeks. there's one person(?) who gets Unrestrained Feelings privileges #and it's the fucking illithid that lives in their mind and not any of their actual non-monster normal-ish-person friends. that human #connection is fading so fast now. when did they change so much? it happened so slowly in the moment but suddenly now they seem like they #were never the person you became friends with at all #and like impulse is a pretty selfish person from the start but they *did* genuinely like and care about the rest of the party. they were #friends. and by the end of act 3 that friendship should be the deepest and most meaningful it's ever been. but. it just isn't.#so on and so forth etc etc like that. All That Bullshit makes their relationship with lae'zel so interesting (and upsetting) too #they encourage her to side against vlaakith and then they never even try to free orpheus for her and her people's sake. they never even #think about it. they never consider it as an option. they just don't care. and then they EAT HIS BRAIN.#very possibly RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER.#and she's just left adrift. a rebel with no rebellion to lead and very little hope #i'm unwell.#ok i'm done this is a silly meme post. but god i have so many thoughts i have barely been keeping contained

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nomatopeya · 7 months

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"Functional" eye

#splatoon #splatoon 3 #splatoon fanart #captain 3 #inkling #agent 3 #inkling girl #I am back #twitter keeps getting worse and worse #so does tiktok #this place is pretty peaceful tbh #drew my wife my babygirl my love my honey my sweetie my everything my stinky

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aftg-rot · 3 months

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thinking about the "perfect court" again. honestly; just how fucking unstoppable it would be, if they had riko, kevin, jean, nathaniel and andrew?! it would be GENUINELY terrifying.

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