#he is worthy of perfect court suffering too?!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

comradekatara · 1 year

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ozai keels over and dies due to tea going down the wrong pipe one morning before canon starts. what changes, and why does it end up with momo as fire lord?

This Ask Was Meant To Be A Joke But Oops I Wrote A Bajillion Words

otherwise known as my take on an "Ursa kills Ozai" AU

ursa poisons ozai at some point before the siege of ba sing se. she’s gotten fed up with him, and says “fuck it.” the only person who suspects foul play is azula, but she’s like 5 so no one takes her accusations seriously, just assuming she’s mourning her father and is fabricating explanations as a coping mechanism. eventually azula begins to believe this herself, but she never stops subconsciously resenting her mother. zuko feels guilty for feeling relieved, but ursa is there by his side to help him work through his feelings in a healthy(ish) way.

the siege of ba sing se fails when iroh’s son dies. he retreats into his grief, journeying through the spirit world and coming to terms with the great suffering he has inflicted on others. he returns to his father a changed man, tells azulon that he can no longer be crown prince, and instead retreats to a smaller village in the fire nation to set up a tea shop and live in isolated comfort and relative peace. he never finds redemption, but he is content in the knowledge that he is no longer actively causing harm either.

since ozai, iroh, and lu ten are all out of the picture, zuko becomes crown prince. azulon only has a few more good years left in him, so zuko’s education in matters of state is turboboosted. azula worries that her soft, sensitive brother who prefers theater to warfare (but is also far too stubborn to be puppeteered by someone competent, like her) isn’t equipped for the position, and voices this (deeply sincere!) concern to ursa, who assumes the worst and scolds azula for speaking ill of her brother.

azula tells zuko that she’s overheard people having doubts over his ability as the next firelord, and at first he’s defensive, accusing her of lying to him and trying to provoke him like she always does. but eventually he relents and admits that he has doubts too. he wants to be a good firelord for his people, but every time he tries to argue with the generals in war meetings over their plans to sacrifice their own troops for grander victories, azulon pulls him aside and gives him an earful about how he is disrespecting the court and isn’t worthy of the throne. azula rolls her eyes and says “you’re not supposed to argue with the generals, dum dum. you’re lucky father is no longer with us, or he would’ve done much worse over hearing you spout your little treasonous inclinations like that.” zuko’s cheeks turn red and he storms off with his hands balled into fists.

eventually azulon comes out with it, summoning azula for a private meeting to discuss her future. he tells her that she is the superior firebender, the superior tactician, and his perfect heir. zuko’s defects concern him, and he wants to make her firelord instead. only he’s afraid that what with zuko’s temper, naming her his successor might infuriate him to the point of rebellion, and they can’t risk that. so they devise a plan to send zuko to search for the avatar, claiming that since both azulon and sozin did so in the past, it is a rite of honor for a firelord, and only a true firelord is up to the mission.

zuko, who is desperate to prove himself, vows that he will not return to the fire nation until he has done what his forefathers could not, proving once and for all his true worth, that it is his destiny to rule. he is given a grand ship, the finest fleet the nation has to offer. since he is only still a boy, ursa decides to accompany him, leaving azula in the care of her grandfather and the many servants of the palace. azula pretends to be fine with this, since, after all, it was her idea in the first place. zuko’s full head of hair and unblemished skin signify that he has more to gain than to lose. but still, he cannot afford to fail.

that said, he is in great spirits, fully believing in himself, with his beloved mother there by his side to provide tireless support for which he is greatly appreciative. he is constantly gracious towards his crew, full of great scholars who tutor him in matters of state, history, and culture during his search, as well as revered generals honored to serve the future firelord. he is eager to have a goal. he gets to see the world. he’s happy.

and wouldn’t you know it—two years into his search, he actually does it. he finds the avatar, the one who neither sozin nor azulon could find despite their lifelong efforts. he's hiding out in a tiny water tribe village in the south pole, disguised as a child. clever. since zuko is decidedly not operating on WWOD (what would ozai do?) he and ursa decide that it would be best if they arrived as a peaceful delegation to this village of mostly elderly women and children, and used their resources to negotiate a trade.

sokka sees the fire nation ship coming from a mile away; after all, it's huge. he dons his warpaint. he's been waiting for this day. waiting to die defending his people. but the ship does not park itself on their shores; instead, a trio consisting of a boy his age, a middle aged woman, and an old man (one of zuko's tutors, an anthropologist who wants to see this water tribe village up close) approach their village wall and wait for an audience with whoever's in charge. they look harmless, unarmed, peaceful even. katara is curious, even eager to meet them. so many strange new visitors in one day! but sokka reminds her that they're still fire nation, and they must be seen as a threat.

despite their politeness, their request to trade the avatar for their resources is indeed quite suspect. for one thing, the avatar hasn't been seen in over a century, so why the hell would they think that they have him, and for another, if they did have the avatar, they obviously wouldn't hand him over to the fucking fire nation. sokka tells them that they're mistaken, they will find no avatar here, and to be on their way before things get ugly (this is an obvious bluff, since he's already outnumbered, but they don't have to know that).

meanwhile, aang sees commotion in katara and sokka's village. while he understands their reasoning for banishing him after he accidentally set off that flare and put them in danger, he didn't realize that it would happen so immediately. it's his fault, so it's his responsibility to fix it. after all, he's tired of running. it's what got him into this mess in the first place. he penguin sleds his way right into the heart of the village, in between zuko and sokka, and announces that he is the avatar, and if he goes with them, they must promise to leave the village alone. zuko's just like "of course, yeah. i mean i was willing to trade stuff, so this is a great outcome for me." he escorts aang back onto his ship, while katara watches with tears in her eyes, and sokka devises a plan.

aang still hasn't really processed the whole "fire nation is bad" thing yet. he believes katara that the ship they explored attacked their people, of course, but so far, everyone he's met from the fire nation has been super nice to him. this is the future firelord and his kind-eyed mother promising to bring him to the fire palace safely and smoothly, and offering him any accommodations he may need on their journey, nothing like the monstrous soldiers of katara's story. just to make sure, aang asks zuko what they plan on doing with him once they reach the fire nation. zuko pauses, tilting his head. "i.... don't actually know," he admits. "once we reach home, i'll hand you over to my grandfather azulon, and he'll see fit what to do with the avatar, since he's the current firelord." aang concludes that this sounds reasonable.

aang is sitting on deck, drinking a refreshing (yet slightly spicy) beverage when he is approached by one of zuko's tutors. "it is an honor to meet the avatar," he says in a reverent tone. ("thanks!" aang grins brightly. he doesn't really want to be the avatar, but he won't say no to being complimented.) "please heed my warning," says the scholar. "being in the firelord's custody will bring you and the world nothing but pain. i don't believe prince zuko knows what he is doing by bringing you to our shores, but you must escape while you still can." aang looks confused, so he hands him his glider, and a pai sho tile. "consider me a friend."

a large shadow falls over them. aang takes his glider and makes a run for it, landing on appa's back and flying away as zuko rushes on deck to see his guest of honor escaping. "how could this happen?" zuko asks. "weren't you watching him? how did he get his glider? why did he break his promise?" his tutor shrugs, explaining that airbenders are masters of evasion. and this one has managed to evade the world for the past century. "you're right," agrees zuko. "next time i find him, i will be far more vigilant."

zuko knows that other gloryseekers in the fire nation will attempt to capture that which is rightfully his, so he tries not to advertise it, but soon enough word gets out of the avatar's return, making the slippery little airbender that much more elusive. he refuses to go home without the avatar in hand. (if the spies aboard zuko's ship, either for azulon or for the white lotus, have a hand in dispersing this information, zuko does not question it.)

after an... educational visit to the southern air temple, aang decides to visit kyoshi island to ride the elephant koi. they end up staying longer than they intended to, what with aang's excitement over having an entourage, and sokka's excitement at actually meeting a girl his age for the first time in his life. it doesn't take long for the news to spread to zuko, who makes a beeline to the island. he manages to avoid the unagi as he makes it onto their shores, accompanied by some actual soldiers this time. "hand over the avatar, and no one will get hurt," he declares.

unfortunately, the villagers do not comply, instead sending their warriors to fight him. they're pretty evenly matched until aang shows up, using a pair of fans to knock zuko to the ground and run off on appa while the prince is distracted. since zuko has no further qualms with this village, he retreats to his ship, leaving suki and her village to pick up the pieces from their battle. thankfully the damage was minimal, and no one was seriously hurt, but it does inspire her to make a choice.

zuko is too late by the time he makes it to the prison rig, but he does find something useful: a necklace that could only belong to the water tribe girl helping the avatar. "that's a pretty bracelet you've got there," ursa remarks. zuko flushes. "i'm just tying it around my wrist for safekeeping," he scoffs. he can use it as leverage, he knows. he just hasn't figured out how yet.

zuko tells zhao that he isn’t allowed to try to capture the avatar, since this was his mission, as tasked by the firelord. zhao smugly replies that zuko had his chance, and now it’s anyone’s game. the man who brings the avatar back to the fire nation is sure to be handsomely rewarded, and so zhao will stop at nothing to make sure that man is him. so when he successfully kidnaps aang, zuko has no choice but to don his mother’s theater mask, strap his swords to his back, and break aang out of pohuai stronghold.

zuko wakes up to the avatar talking about life 100 years ago. since by now he’s pretty sure the avatar is literally a child, he wonders whether the kid is referring to his past life, or if he’s actually just demented. aang asks zuko if they could’ve been friends if not for the war. zuko firmly says, “no. i’m not friends with liars who break their promises.” (he’s also not friends with anyone besides his mother, but that’s neither here nor there.) he’s obviously referring to the fact that aang broke his word by escaping his ship, but that’s not where aang’s mind goes. he looks down, feeling guilty, ashamed. “okay,” he says quietly. “guess I’ll get going, then.” by the time zuko has actually considered capturing him for himself, aang has disappeared into the trees.

stowing away inside a giant fire nation ship with countless people was a smart move, but june's shirshu is smarter. zuko is outraged that she would dare to damage a ship belonging to the firelord himself to catch a simple petty thief, but he claims that if she can help him find someone, he'll consider them even. june decides that gaining the trust of the future firelord is surely a good investment, so she helps him track down his little girlfriend.

by the time zuko has located the water tribe teens, the avatar is no longer with them. he offers to trade the necklace for the boy, but katara firmly refuses, calling him a monster. zuko realizes that maybe one necklace isn’t actually worth a person, so he offers them money as well. (“well hang on a second, how much are we talking?” sokka says—as a joke, god—and katara smacks him.) june doesn’t have time to deal with futile negotiations, so she speeds up the process by paralyzing them and tracking down her bounty.

the nuns’ perfumes disorient nyla, so june peaces out asap. katara gets her necklace back, and wonders how zuko even stole it in the first place. zuko laments yet another loss. his tutors remind him that it is simply not the way of the world for ordinary people to win in fights against the avatar. but zuko isn’t an ordinary person. he’s the future firelord. so why isn’t he better than this?

zhao steps aboard zuko’s ship without his permission (he doesn’t need it; he has azulon’s). he informs zuko that he will be taking every eligible soldier for his mission, as per azulon’s command. zuko learns that he is leading an attack against the northern water tribe. but why? zuko wonders. has the northern water tribe actually attacked the fire nation? they’re famously isolationist, so it wouldn’t make sense to attack them without provocation. even the knowledge that the avatar will be there to master waterbending does little to mitigate zuko’s confusion. why bother harming countless civilians just to extract one person?

ursa warns zuko against voicing these treasonous thoughts to anyone else. treasonous? is it treasonous to question why the fire nation would attack a self-sufficient, isolated society that causes no harm to anyone else? of course the fire nation had to defend themselves against the air nomad army, and then the earth kingdom and southern water tribe, but he thought the northern water tribe had never been a part of the war. is it really just because the avatar will be there? he knows that zhao is a power-hungry monster, and admittedly, he does find his grandfather quite terrifying, but this seems needlessly cruel even for them...right? ursa sighs. maybe azula had a point. he really is hopelessly naive.

zuko decides that the only way to prevent this damage is by capturing the avatar himself. so he takes a jetski to the northern water tribe, alone, and waits for them to let him into the city. he is brought before the chief, who demands an explanation. zuko explains that the fire nation is planning an attack against them, which he personally does not endorse, but if they handed over the avatar, then the fire nation would no longer see their people as a threat, and have no reason to harm them.

everyone immediately objects, assuming that this is simply a trick to secure the avatar before they just attack them anyway. but aang vouches for zuko. “he wouldn’t lie,” he promises. he decides that he has no choice but to follow zuko’s lead if it means saving the entire northern water tribe. katara protests, but yue just looks on sympathetically. “it’s his duty,” she tells her, her voice heavy.

zuko brings the avatar before zhao, telling him that if he hands aang over, then zhao can call off the siege before any bloodshed is necessary. zhao says, “we have a deal,” and locks aang in a heavily fortified cell. then he knocks zuko out while he isn’t looking, and locks him in a cell of his own. “foolish boy. you really think i’d call off my invasion just for the avatar? i’m about to create a legacy. too bad you won’t be around to see it.”

katara runs to sokka, who’s off preparing for a secret mission, and explains to him what’s happened. sokka slaps his forehead. “if prince ponytail thinks that zhao would call off his invasion just for aang then he’s even dumber than i thought.” katara’s all like “that’s what i said!” but of course aang and yue and zuko were all too honorable to listen. “so what’s your plan?” katara asks. “it’s simple,” says sokka. “first, we go to zhao’s ship.” (“yes, absolutely, agrees katara.) “free aang.” (“uh huh, duh.”) “and then we kill zhao.” (“uhm...............”)

sokka assures katara that he’ll do all the killing and murdering and katara and aang don’t have to get their hands dirty. katara frowns but doesn’t protest. they take appa (underwater, thanks to katara’s recent waterbending upgrade) to zhao’s ship, easy to identify as it’s the nearest, biggest one.

they sneak on without issue. any guards who do notice them are immediately knocked out by katara before they can even protest. aang and zuko are being held in cells on opposite sides of the same room. they’re both chained so as to restrict their bending, but between katara’s bending and sokka’s arsenal of weapons, they’re able to break aang free. and then aang says something ridiculous. “i think we should free zuko too.”

sokka’s just like “absolutely not. we’re here to rescue you and ........incapacitate zhao, zuko is our enemy.” but then aang does his puppy dog eyes and before sokka can even protest further he’s broken zuko out anyway and katara, the traitor, is helping him. sokka sighs, knowing that this is going to complicate his plan significantly.

aang’s all like, “well why would zhao even lock zuko up in the first place if zuko didn’t have good inside him?? huh????” and sokka’s like “I don’t know maybe because zhao is an evil power-hungry monster and he doesn’t want zuko to get in his way????” and none of them can argue with that, because that’s exactly what happened.

they make a deal with zuko that they will return him to his ship if he promises to stop hunting them, and zuko is like, “what if i stop hunting you for like.... a week?” and sokka is like, “what if i murder you right now?” and zuko’s like, “okay FINE. two weeks.”

sokka decides he can murder zuko later and goes off to find zhao, telling aang and zuko to go find appa while katara follows him for backup. sokka has no idea why he trusted aang and zuko to listen to him, because of course they follow them secretly.

and sokka is SO CLOSE to slitting zhao’s throat with the edge of his blade while he was sleeping, it would’ve been SO EASY, when zuko lets out an extremely loud, involuntary gasp from the corner of the room where he and aang are hiding. technically it’s not actually zuko’s fault that zhao wakes up, because at the same time, aang cried out “NO!” which is definitely what actually awoke zhao, but sokka has decided to blame it on zuko anyway.

zhao’s eyes snap open and he firebends around the room, only managing not to scorch them all to a crisp because aang, katara, and zuko all immediately respond by using their bending to put out the fire. a fight breaks out, aang and katara trying to incapacitate zhao, sokka still hoping to kill him, zhao trying to kill all of them, and zuko frantically trying to deescalate the situation. he keeps blocking zhao by just. putting out his firebending. and he keeps blocking sokka by just pushing him out of the way every time he’s about to land a blow. which is quite possibly the most irritating thing that has ever happened to sokka in a fight.

zuko is so annoyed by this situation that eventually he’s just like, “ALL RIGHT EVERYONE STOP FIGHTING!” and he yells it so loudly and commandingly that they actually do what he says and freeze in place. “no one is killing anyone,” he says. “the avatar will be captured alive. and zhao committed high treason by imprisoning me, the crown prince, which means that he is to be sent to my grandfather so the fire nation can determine what to do with him.”

his air of diplomacy wears off after like five seconds though, and sokka just says, “that’s stupid. you’re not letting me kill him because you think the fire nation should be the ones to execute him? that literally doesn’t make sense unless you’re some persnickety imperialist bootlicker. i should kill you right now just for being so moronic.”

painfully, katara is forced to agree with sokka. she nods her head solemnly, “sokka’s right,” she tells zuko, “and you are a moron.” zhao is begrudgingly impressed. he’s like, “wow if i didn’t want to eradicate your entire race, i’d recruit you as my lieutenant.” sokka’s like, “that’s the most insulting thing anyone has ever said to me but ok.”

this standstill is the perfect opportunity for aang to knock out zhao and katara to knock out zuko, which sokka tries to indicate subtly with his eyes and hand signals, but aang and katara are just like, “what? what are you saying?” and they’re mouthing to each other looking all stupid which is the perfect opportunity for zhao to just. slip out of the room and lock the door behind him, leaving them all trapped. he gathers the most important members of his crew and lets them know to move to another ship as quickly as possible, since there’s no way that door will hold the avatar for long. he lets the rest of his crew know that they’re about to be in for the fight of their lives.

aang tries to use airbending to kick down the door, which only dents the metal slightly. then katara tries to freeze the hinges, but the door only opens from the top, leaving an opening so small even momo couldn’t climb through (and momo is back in agna qel’a safely with yue anyway). then zuko uses his firebending powered kicks to try to pry the door off its hinges, leaving it rattled and slightly more dented. just as aang is about to try again, sokka’s like, “is it my turn yet?” takes out the knife in his boot, and picks the lock. katara smacks him over the head for not just having done that in the first place.

the entirety of zhao’s remaining crew is right outside the door, waiting to kill all of them at their admiral’s orders. it’s a brutal fight. they don’t hold back, no matter how many times zuko insists that he ranks higher than zhao and therefore they should be listening to him! katara knocks out most of them with a water whip, and aang takes out the rest with an airbending move that gives them all the concussion of their lives. they run back to appa as fast as they can, mowing down soldiers along the way. they don’t really have another option, so they let zuko climb onto appa too.

they fly back to the capital, where arnook is waiting for them. they explain the situation as quickly as possible, and that the secret mission to take out zhao was a bust. (sokka will later realize that he could’ve killed zhao before freeing aang, and regret everything.) yue suggests getting help from the spirits, so she takes aang and katara to the oasis so that aang can enter the spirit world and seek the guidance he needs.

meanwhile, sokka and arnook are debating what to do with zuko. on one hand, he did try to protect their tribe, which means he should get diplomatic immunity since he’s technically their ally against this invasion. on the other hand, he’s the crown prince of the fire nation, and if they hold him for ransom then the firelord will probably call off the siege. but also the message won’t be received in time for that, since zhao could be approaching any second, so maybe it would be more helpful to use zuko to fight against this army, which he could probably be convinced to do. meanwhile zuko is sitting in a little prison cell like, “i wonder how mom’s doing...”

pakku gets a message from the white lotus that the crown prince has been missing for a day, along with a jetski, and if he happens to know where he might have gone? with some light snooping, pakku finds out that zuko is being held prisoner, but they're probably going to free him since he doesn't really seem to be a threat. so he assures the white lotus that he's safe in their city, and not to worry. ursa worries.

sokka goes to visit zuko, giving him the option to fight in exchange for his freedom, when he sees a shadow slink into the wall. he pretends not to notice anything. "we've decided to release you provided you help us prepare and fight against zhao's invasion, which seems like something you'd be willing to do considering he just tried to kill you. the blue spirit can help too i guess," he says, gesturing to ursa in the corner of the room, who scoffs behind her mask.

zuko agrees that zhao committing high treason, going back on his word, trying to kill the avatar, and invading an isolationist society are all pretty good grounds for fighting that guy. he's very confused by what sokka means about the blue spirit, though, because he was pretty sure that he's the blue spirit...? ursa takes off her mask and waves. zuko lights up. "MOM!!!!!!!!!" he cries, and rushes to hug her as sokka unlocks the door to his cell. and ohmygod sokka hates this guy so fucking much.

ursa's like, "are you sure you don't want to apturecay the vataray?" sokka rolls his eyes at her assumption that he somehow can't hear and/or understand her. or maybe she just doesn't care. zuko's like, "ugh, i promised them a two weeks truce." ursa doesn't know whether to be proud of or annoyed by her son who refuses to go back on his word, ever.

sokka takes zuko (and ursa) to arnook, who can command them as he best sees fit, and then heads over to the spirit oasis so he can be there for katara, aang, and yue. aang is busy meditating, so katara and yue are just standing there keeping watch and hoping for the best. zhao enters through the door while aang is still in the spirit world. katara defends aang with everything she has, and sokka is torn between providing backup and making sure no one lays a hand on yue. they're sorely outnumbered. especially because while katara and sokka are busy protecting aang (and yue), they leave room open for zhao to pluck a certain koi fish out of a pond.

aang returns to his body a second too late. "why is the moon red?" he asks. then he sees zhao. "oh no." he begs with zhao, pleads him not to do this. destroying the moon wouldn't just hurt the water tribes, but the whole world. just put the fish down, and then they can negotiate. zhao slowly sets tui down. and then he roasts it. the sky goes dark. aang blows a gust of wind at zhao and his soldiers so powerful that it knocks half of them out. zhao knows that there's no winning a fight against the avatar, and runs out of the oasis. he got what he came for anyway.

yue starts crying. "there's no hope now," she says. "it's over." katara can't bend. the sky is black. she feels as sick as she did when she was born. "no," says aang, his voice echoing with his countless lifetimes. "it's not over." he steps into the pond, and emerges bonded with the ocean spirit. so that one solves one problem. the entire fire navy fleet is decimated in a matter of minutes, and the ocean drops aang off on the wall of the city once they're certain their mission is complete.

meanwhile zuko is fighting zhao on another bridge, more furious than zhao has ever seen him. "how could you could this?" he shouts, pummeling zhao with fireballs. even as zhao nearly trips trying to block zuko's attack, he sneers. "i didn't do anything your father wouldn't have done, had he taken his rightful place on the throne." zuko can't believe this. his father died when he was just a child. yes, he was somewhat cold and distant, but zuko has fond memories of him too, like when he would teach him history while sitting on the beach at ember island, or when he would play soldier with him in the garden (or... wait.... was that uncle iroh?). "if only your bitch of a mother didn't kill him."

zuko suddenly remembers something azula said to him, only once. his ears ring. he repeats what he had said (shouted) then. "you're lying!" his fireballs grow even stronger. suddenly, a giant glowing hand emerges from the canal. zuko ducks and rolls out of the way, but the hand wasn't after him anyway. without thinking, zuko reaches out to zhao. "grab my hand!" he tells him, and zhao nearly does it before thinking better of it and pulling away. the last thing zhao sees is the moon shining bright in the sky once more.

zuko wipes his eyes before teartracks can freeze his cheeks, and then goes to find his mom. sokka and katara go to find aang. they all find one another on the bridge, ursa already tending to aang who is slumped on the ground. "what happened to the moon?" zuko asks. sokka doesn't answer, his mouth set in a thin line. "what happened to zhao?" asks katara. zuko doesn't answer, merely looks down. "did you kill him?" asks sokka. since zuko doesn't respond, they take this to mean that he did. "oh man," whines sokka. "i wanted to do that!" he had already been prepared to kill zhao, and then yue... ugh. it's not fair! why does this idiot get everything good??

in the morning, arnook sends zuko back to his ship as a thanks for killing zhao (zuko doesn't bother to correct him). the gaang stays behind for a bit to help clean up the mess, but sokka insists that they have to leave soon to find aang an earthbending teacher (and if he doesn't wanna stay here another second longer for other reasons, he doesn't mention it). they go find a general who wants to help aang access the avatar state, while zuko and what's left of his crew travel to a spa to relax for a while, seeing as he can't attempt to capture the avatar at the moment anyway.

who shows up but azula, who zuko hasn't seen in years. "wow, zuzu, you look terrible," is one of the first things out of her mouth, but he can't even be offended because he knows it's true. he's barely slept since the siege of the north, and the only food he's kept down is plain white rice. ursa was hoping the resort would help improve his health, but he can't hide his declining state from his sister. he's haunted by images of zhao going under, pulling away from his hand in disgust, of his mother doing the same to ozai. he doesn't know who to trust anymore. he thinks he might hate himself. "don't call me that," zuko snaps. he hasn't seen his sister in years. she looks different. colder, sharper.

"hello, azula, it's really good to see you," ursa says calmly. she goes in for a hug, but azula blocks her. "you didn't even write," she says, refusing to look her mother in the eye. ursa frowns. "of course i did," she says. "did you not receive my letters?" she hadn't. azulon had intercepted them. he thought it best if he kept azula all to himself. azula thinks she's being mocked, but she holds back her tears, as she's been learning to do since she was born. "grandfather wants you back in the fire nation," she tells zuko. "his health is declining. you ought to prepare for your coronation."

zuko doesn't really want to return, but he doesn't know how he feels traveling the world with his mom anymore, and it's his duty to take the throne, so it's not like he has a choice. then one of azula's crew lets it slip that zuko is not their honored guest, but their prisoner, and all hell breaks loose. "of course grandfather doesn't want you on the throne!" azula taunts him. "your repeated failure to capture the avatar has been an embarrassment! not to mention, you aided the water tribe during the siege, and literally killed an admiral."

"i didn't kill him, i tried to save him!" zuko protests. "and the avatar is extremely powerful, even you couldn't catch him." (azula takes this as a challenge.) zuko and ursa barely escape with their lives, being given enough of a head start only because ursa pushed azula into the water below. she doesn't even make sure to check if her daughter is okay, she just grabs zuko's hand and runs.

they run and run until they reach a clearing in the woods. zuko throws up in the river. "i didn't kill zhao," he whispers, over and over again. "i didn't kill zhao... i didn't....." ursa hugs him as breaks down. "i know honey, i know." but zuko is shaking in her arms for another reason. "did you kill my father?" he asks. ursa tenses, and zuko backs away from her. "no," she says. "no, of course not. why would you think that?"

"you did.... didn't you....." zuko can barely control his rage. ursa starts crying, pleading with him. "you don't understand, zuko, he would've killed you. killed me. please, you must understand. i had no other choice. it was self-defense." zuko shakes his head. "i get why you did it," he says, because he may be naive, but he's not stupid. "but why did you lie to me? everyone acted like azula was crazy, but she was right all along."

ursa smiles sadly. "i lied to protect you," she says. "i couldn't let anyone else know what i did." zuko sees his mother for the first time. he unsheathes his knife, the pearl dagger uncle iroh gave him just before he disappeared. "cut. your. hair." honor never meant much to ursa, she knew it to be a hollow facade that hid ill-tempered husbands behind delusions of grandeur. but she knows how much it means to zuko. so she takes his knife and cuts her hair to her chin, too short to tie into a topknot.

zuko takes the knife back, and in the spur of the moment, cuts off his ponytail too. he doesn't even fully know why he does it. it's not like he murdered anyone. but he also knows that if it came down to it, he'd do anything for his mother, and maybe that counts all the same. "we have to keep moving," ursa tells him. "azula could be on our trail right now." zuko is about to protest that it's all a misunderstanding, that if he just talked to his grandfather he could clear his name, but another, newer part of him doesn't even believe that anymore. so he takes ursa's hand, and they head to the nearest earth kingdom town in search for provisions and a map that can lead them to ba sing se.

after weeks of traveling from town to town, depending on the kindness of strangers to keep them fed (or well, ursa fed. zuko still doesn't eat much), zuko can't take it anymore. "i'm the crown prince," he complains, "i shouldn't be living like this! i need to go talk to azula and make things right." ursa shakes her head. "what you need is to be patient," she says. "once we reach ba sing se, we'll find a roof over our heads, good jobs, and a steady life. a little hard work won't kill you in the meantime." zuko is about to complain that it most certainly will, but his mom has been doing so much for him lately (and his whole life), so he just sighs and acquiesces.

one night, while they're sleeping in someone's barn, zuko asks his mom how she knows how to do all kinds of manual labor. that's not the kind of thing you learn growing up in a palace. ursa explains that she wasn't actually raised as a noble, although she has noble blood. she grew up in a small village in the southern fire nation, where she likely would have spent her whole life if she hadn't been chosen to be ozai's bride due to her relation to avatar roku. zuko's just like, "uh....... hold up????? you literally never told me any of this?????????"

ursa says she figured it wasn't important. even zuko knows that's a lie. it seems extremely important. "elaborate. now," he demands. so ursa tells him stories of growing up on a small, quiet island, studying theater with her friends, firebending with her mom, and fishing with her dad. she tells him about how she was taken away, given no choice. she tells him stories of what ozai said to her, what he did to her. she doesn't go into detail or anything, but she figures zuko is old enough to know. she tells him more stories the next night, lighter ones this time. the story of where she got her favorite mask. the story of making sweet buns with her brother. stories about zuko and azula when they were babies. the night after that, she tells him the story of roku and sozin.

"i don't understand," says zuko. "sozin let roku die?? why would he do that?? roku was his friend!" ursa can't help it; she laughs. "roku was the only thing stopping sozin from spreading the glory of the fire nation across the world. he cared about roku, but he also cared about his nation." zuko scoffs. "it sounds to me like he cared about no one but himself." ursa would scold him for voicing such a thought if she hadn't been wondering the same thing.

the next morning, zuko slips away silently with his swords strapped to his back. he's tired of running. so when azula tracks aang to a ghost town, zuko appears moments later. "zuko?" exclaims aang. he's so tired, he wonders if he's hallucinating. they haven't seen zuko since the north pole, and despite his new haircut being quite flattering, he looks even worse than aang currently feels. he doesn't have much time to reflect, since azula uses this pause to attack aang, and zuko is trying to intervene for reasons unclear to both of them. katara and sokka show up to defend aang.

meanwhile toph has bumped into a woman about her mother's age on the side of the road. they have a long talk, and they both feel a lot better by the end of it, even if it makes toph miss her mom and ursa miss azula. toph returns to the gaang just in time to save their butts. zuko keeps yelling for azula to stop so they can talk, but azula's just like "can't you see i'm busy right now?"

what does catch her attention, though, is the arrival of ursa. the woman who brought her into the world, and, most recently, pushed her into the sea without a second thought. her hair is shorter. “azula," says ursa sternly, in that what am i going to do with this truculent child voice she has never once used on zuko. "we need to talk."

"yes, yes, mother," says azula. "once i've captured the avatar, then we can hash everything out." ursa grabs azula by the back of her collar as if she's a kitten. "now, young lady!" and she marches azula to the other side of the town, motioning for zuko to stay put. toph is suddenly far less regretful of the fact that this woman is not her mother.

"so...." says zuko, upon noticing that three familiar pairs of eyes are staring at him. he waves awkwardly. aang waves back, but feels so stupid that he puts his hand down after a single second of consideration. "okay," says sokka. "we're all thinking it, so i'm just gonna say it. you look awful." aang and katara both nod. he really does. "oh my god," says toph, "let's LEAVE."

out of the corner of her eye, azula catches the avatar and his companions just walking away, without so much as a fight from zuko, and she squirms in ursa's grasp. "but–" she protests, pointing at the receding blur of orange and yellow. "don't talk back to me!" ursa snaps as she continues lecturing azula on why she needs to be a better sister to zuko and it's clear she wants to take the throne but as a woman that just isn't her place and–

"that's rich coming from the woman who murdered her husband," azula says. ursa does not dignify azula's comment with a response. "also, i don't want the throne," azula continues. "grandfather wants me to have the throne. i'm just doing what he told me to." the fact that he own mother thinks so little of her, that she hasn't seen her in years, didn't even bother to write, and now all she wants to do is lecture her on not being good enough... azula does not cry. her lip wobbles a little, but she's fine. she's fine.

zuko walks over to them, disobeying his mother’s orders. he just doesn’t get why she would scold azula when she should know that she made azula feel as if she was crazy her whole life. shouldn’t she feel at least a little bit guilty for that? “i didn’t kill zhao,” he tells azula. “a giant spirit hand rose out of the ocean and dragged him down. i tried to help him but he wouldn’t take my hand. believe me or don’t. i don’t care.”

unfortunately, azula does believe him. because she knows her brother, and he cannot tell a lie to save his life. but this is a problem, because grandfather wants zuko out of the way, and without the precedent of treason, they have no good reason not to maintain his position as heir. but she’s always been good at thinking on her feet. “what if,” she proposes, “we work together to capture the avatar, but you take all the credit for it? then surely grandfather would be impressed enough with you that he wouldn’t mind giving you the throne. in return, all i ask is that when you’re firelord, you do everything i say, which is only fair because grandfather thinks i’d make a better ruler, and all my advice would be in your best interest anyway. do we have a deal?”

zuko doesn’t like the sound of being beholden to azula; he’s too proud for that. but he also wants his grandfather’s approval. there's also another issue... “i don’t know how i feel about capturing the avatar, to be honest,” zuko says. “at first i thought he was a scheming coward from a backwards culture, but he actually seems like a pretty good kid. maybe we could reason with him instead?”

azula resists the urge to smack her forehead. this kind of thinking is exactly why he shouldn’t be in charge of a fishing boat, let alone a global superpower. “were you born without balls?” she honestly can’t believe she’s related to him. (“language,” ursa warns.) “you know what, i feel bad even suggesting that we work together. clearly, grandfather was right about you, and if you dare set foot in the fire nation again we will have no choice but to convict you for the murder of that dumbass admiral guy. i mean personally i wish you did kill him, because it would be the only modicum of chutzpah you’d ever display in your pathetic little life, but of course you couldn’t even do that much. and mother, you can’t blame me for lack of trying. but i think you know as well as i do that your son is a lost cause. i’ll be going now. don’t try to contact me again.”

with that, azula walks away, and neither zuko nor ursa try to stop her. she finds mai and ty lee back in the woods by their mounts, damp and shivering and smelling unpleasantly of river water. this situation doesn’t stop ty lee from wrapping azula in a hug the moment she lays eyes upon her expression, poorly masked distress and red eyes threatening to spill over. azula just stands there, letting her clothes get wet.

“so............” says ursa. zuko stares at her. he knows she’s trying so hard not to say i told you so. instead she says, “ba sing se?” zuko reluctantly nods. so he’ll let azula take the throne while he hides in the earth kingdom like a coward. he’s fine with that! glad, even! his family is all kinds of fucked up. who needs them? not him! (he's always been a terrible liar.)

“i have some contacts who can help us get fake passports and tickets aboard the ferry,” ursa says. “i hope you know that this isn’t a dishonorable thing to do. there’s no shame in retreating from a bad situation before it gets worse.” zuko frowns. “like when you killed my father, you mean?” he asks. ursa nods. “something like that,” she agrees.

"i mean, honestly, zuko... do you even want to be firelord?" zuko scoffs. what is she even talking about? of course he wants to be firelord! it's been his birthright since uncle abdicated, he's been training for it since he was a child. it's honorable to perform one's duty by serving the most just and forward-thinking nation in the world. ursa sighs. "see, zuko, this is exactly what i'm talking about. do you even believe what you're saying right now?"

"okay, okay," zuko concedes, "so maybe great-grandfather sozin and grandfather azulon have been a little extreme in their views, but they needed to rule with a firm hand due to the pressures of the war and the power vacuum left by the disappearance of the avatar. now that he's back, i'm sure we can find negotiations with the other nations that satisfy everyone's needs, and–"

"oh my god. ZUKO. who do you think STARTED the war?" ursa all but yells. zuko pauses. he doesn't want to say something wrong. there are a lot of false starts, opening his mouth, and then promptly closing it, like the world's most thoughtful goldfish. when he finally does speak, he's quiet and to the point. "we did," he says.

ursa lets zuko grapple with this revelation all the way to ba sing se. some guy keeps trying to talk to him on the ferry but gives up after five minutes of realizing he's not paying attention, way too absorbed in his own thoughts and recontextualized memories. they walk through the lower ring, navigating the throng of refugees who have been displaced by the war. zuko doesn't know whether he wants to stay in this bubble forever, or if he's more determined than ever to assume the throne, and right the wrongs of his forefathers. all he knows for certain is that his mom managed to set them up with the coolest jobs he could ever hope for.

katara knows that ba sing se is a horrendous hyperstratified police state, but she's always been one to see the good in things, and ever since her fun little day at the spa with toph, she's been enjoying perusing the cultural resources ba sing se's upper ring has to offer. so she takes momo to a park, where he runs around chasing birds; she takes sokka to the library, where he complains that all their intelligence is outdated while she browses the romance section; she makes all of them go shopping with her, because they lost most of their stuff when appa was stolen, and she's sick of wearing the same outfit every single day; and she tries to cheer up aang as much as possible, which includes a matinee showing of some old earth kingdom play she's never actually heard of, but which got rave reviews in the ba sing se gazette.

during intermission (one of two, apparently this play is four and a half hours long???) katara whispers to aang, "is it just me, or does the lead actress look familiar?" aang is confused. "what do you mean by that? she's literally wearing a mask." katara shrugs. "i dunno..." she says, "i just get this creepy feeling like i've seen her before." they almost miss it, because they're jumping out of the seats by the time the play has finally ended, but thankfully katara remembers to look back when the cast members take their masks off, because holy shit she does know that woman.

aang and katara stealthily follow their marks, trailing behind a good distance while also making sure not to lose them in the crowd. it helps that aang has an aerial view. they finally end up in front of a lower ring apartment complex, where two of the most high-ranking members of the fire nation royal family are apparently.... living??? they're not exactly sure how to make their next move. aang offers that they wait for sokka to come up with a plan, since he'd know what to do, but katara is too impatient. she tells aang to wait outside, and that she'll signal to him if it's a trap, at which point he should get toph and sokka (she's fairly confident she can take a skinny dweeb and his mom on her own, but she doesn't want him getting his slimy fire nation hands on aang).

in a perhaps inadvisable move (since their landlord now expects her to pay for the damages), she kicks the door down, holding ice daggers in each hand. "all right, i'm onto you," she threatens the mother currently trying to pile more food onto the plate of her resisting son. "how did you infiltrate the city, and why are you here?"

zuko shrieks, and then realizes it's just the avatar's waterbender friend. "oh hey...........you." (it suddenly occurs to him that he never bothered to learn her name.) "what are you doing here?"

"that's none of your business," says katara, folding her arms. like she'd spill their secret invasion plan to the crown prince, or let it slip that appa is missing. yeah right. "well, it is kind of my business," replies zuko, "seeing as you're in our apartment." ursa hands her a fresh plate. "sit and eat with us. we can answer all your questions over dinner." katara complies with little fuss, since fire nation or not, she can't help but be charmed by any sort of maternal figure. not to mention she was enchanting in that play.

zuko and ursa explain to katara that they're laying low in ba sing se to avoid the wrath of his grandfather, who has declared him a traitor for helping the northern water tribe during the siege, and they actually quite like it here. ursa successfully auditioned her way into one of ba sing se's most elite theater troupes, and zuko was hired as assistant stage manager. they have no ulterior motive, zuko is just content to help his mother live out her lifelong dreams of becoming an actress, since he's currently too confused about everything to even know what stance he should be taking in this war anyway.

katara leaps at this. "what do you mean you're confused?" she asks. as much as sokka claims that zuko is the biggest idiot he's ever met (and that includes chong), katara can't help but harbor the mildest of soft spots for a guy whose best friend is clearly his mom. maybe this is her chance to finally Fix Him. "well," says zuko, "i always thought my role in this war and in the world was to help my grandfather and someday take over his role as firelord, but now it seems like my grandfather hates me, so i'm not really sure what to do about that. also you and the avatar seem really nice? but not your brother though, he's really mean and kinda terrifying. so... yeah. i'll probably just stay here with my mom."

katara's like, "okay, i totally get that, your mom seems dope, but what if, instead, you went full traitor and helped teach aang firebending? wouldn't that be fun? and don't worry about sokka, you can always just distract him with food or something shiny." and zuko's like, "suppose i agree to your offer, how am i even supposed to firebend in this city without getting arrested?" which is admittedly a pretty good point. but katara's like, "we'll be leaving eventually, and when we do, you can come with us and train aang then!"

zuko's torn, because on one hand he doesn't want to leave his mom, but on the other hand, being an official companion to the avatar seems like a more worthwhile use of time than assistant stage managing (even if it is really fun). ursa's also torn, because on one hand, her dearest wish has always been for her children to be able to lead normal, happy lives, but on the other hand, she thinks it might be good for zuko to finally make some friends his age, and on the other hand, she's not sure if those friends should be the anti-fire nation revolutionaries who are trying to kill his family? like, yes, sure, she's also killed his family, but it wasn't really a politics thing, it was far more personal than that. but zuko's always harbored lowkey treasonous political views, and she cares more about supporting her son's ambitions than she cares about whether or not the fire nation wins the war, if we're being completely honest. it's a real conundrum. ultimately, they're both just like, "we'll think about it," which is good enough for katara, who is convinced that anyone who thinks about it long enough will ultimately come to the obvious conclusion that it is far better to be Good than Bad.

so she leaves their apartment (struggling in a futile attempt to reset their door before finally giving up and leaning it against the wall for their landlord to fix), signals for aang to come down from the roof, and takes the monorail back to the upper ring, where she informs toph and sokka of the absolutely insane day she just had. sokka is immediately opposed to this idea. "you couldn't have found anyone else even slightly less annoying to teach aang firebending?? i really don't wanna spend more time around that guy than i've already been forced to." toph reminds them all that zuko didn't even actually agree to it. he said he'd think about it, which is the exact kind of thing you say to someone when you want them to leave you alone. sokka's like, "man i wish this was the end of it but if you think aang and katara aren't gonna follow up with him the next day and the day after that then you clearly do not know them well enough."

as it turns out, they don't have time to follow up with him the next day, because this is the day that katara runs into jet. (you really think that jet wouldn't find another way to cause a public scene protesting the inherent inequalities of the city, leading to his arrest by the dai li??? cmon now.) with his help, they make their way to lake laogai, where they free appa, but not before their frenemy's demise. they ride into the earth kingdom palace, mowing down countless dai li agents along the way, expose long feng's fraud, and inform the earth king of the reality of the war. all in a day's work.

they decide to go their separate ways for the time being: sokka to see his dad, aang to see guru pathik, toph to "see" her "mom," while katara stays in the city and "helps with the invasion" (ie, lets momo loose in an earth kingdom war room, uses king kuei's credit card to buy so many earrings, goes to see some more plays and then brag to the guy sitting next to her that she's friends with the lead actress). of course katara told sokka to go see their dad because she knows how much he misses him (and not at all because the thought of going to see her dad makes bile rise in her throat haha why would you even say that????), but she's also curious as to whether she can get to know zuko a little bit better in the meantime as well.

she shows up at his apartment and basically demands that they hang out. zuko has seen her waterbend, so like, what is he gonna do?? say no??? they have a very fun time wandering around the lower ring, sampling the food vendors, perusing the market stalls, getting lost in little winding alleyways. momo stayed behind with katara, and zuko is absolutely enchanted by him the entire night. it startles zuko to realize that he weirdly feels very close to katara, like they could’ve been best friends in another life. maybe they still have that opportunity. if he takes her up on her offer to join her group, then he can hang out with her (and momo!!!!) every day... but no, he couldn’t leave his mom, she’s done far too much for him for him to just abandon her...

he tries to communicate this sentiment to her, tries to tell her just how much his mom means to him. katara sighs. “i understand,” she says. “i’d give anything to be able to spend more time with my mom.” zuko stupidly asks where katara’s mom is now. katara very patiently explains. he’s shocked, so he asks a lot of follow-up questions, and katara is like “yes, finally, my opportunity to fully radicalize him!” and you know what? she does. and then she makes him buy her noodles even though she has the king’s all but unlimited purse and he only has the spare change he makes from his job as an assistant stage manager.

katara walks zuko home from their totally not a date and ursa invites her inside for dinner. katara is already extremely full from all the street food she ate, but she will not pass up the opportunity to eat food cooked by a mom. zuko’s mom, even. after dinner is over, ursa asks katara to help her with the dishes, and katara, who loves an excuse to show off her waterbending, happily agrees. sotto voce, ursa mentions to katara, as casually as she can, “look, you need to know something about zuko. i love my son very much, and nothing could ever change that, but.... he was born...... wrong. there’s nothing i could’ve done differently, so ive accepted it and protected him, but you should know that you’re not gonna get what you’re looking for from him.”

katara’s like, “what do you mean........ wrong?” frankly she has not met a more well-adjusted member of the fire nation. if he’s wrong, then what’s zhao??? ursa sighs. how is she gonna explain this to a wide-eyed teenage girl who has decided to pin all her hopes and dreams on her wonderful mistake of a son. ursa backtracks. “not, uh, wrong, per se, just different. he’s not.... normal.”

katara thinks about the fire nation’s standards for normality and decides that maybe that’s a good thing. ursa’s like “okay but just keep in mind what i said all right?” and katara nods with a wide, impassive smile and thanks her for dinner, the dishes all sparkling clean. she takes the monorail back to the apartment in the upper ring with a warm, tingly feeling in her heart and her hands.

ty lee walks into the lounge area where azula is reading a book on global trade sanctions during the yangchen era and mai is fast asleep. “i spied on zuko like you asked,” she says. “he was on a date with that water tribe girl. they were sooooo cute together.” she says that last part loudly and viciously enough to wake up mai, who simply blinks a few times before saying, “barf.” azula tries to hide how disturbed she feels upon hearing this. she knew that zuko was in the city with mother, pretending to be humble actors, she could tell as much from the single performance she had attended (and left during intermission). but befriending the water tribe peasant?? this was too much.

“i see,” she says. “clearly he needs our help.” in truth, she wants her family to come back home. grandfather is getting old, and despite the fact that her mother has been nothing but horrible to her, she still misses her, still wants her mother there for her inevitable coronation. and if she knows one thing to be true in this world, it’s that where zuko goes, ursa is sure to follow.

“he needs more than a little help,” ty lee agrees. “have you seen his hair?? that boy is due for a total makeover.” mai just rolls her eyes. she needs ty lee to stop acting like this. to just say what she really thinks for even one single second. ugh. whatever. she goes back to sleep. but azula does take ty lee’s words to heart. zuko’s hair is the shortest she’s ever seen it. it was already long by the time she was old enough to remember anything clearly. why is his hair short?

katara wakes up the next morning with an official summons from the kyoshi warriors to meet in the palace. she’s very excited. she doesn’t know suki all that well, but she respects her a lot, and is always happy to get to know her brother’s sort of girlfriend a little better. when she walks into the throne room, she sees three kyoshi warriors she doesn’t recognize sitting on the floor. “hey guys,” she says. it’s so hard to keep track of them with their matching facepaint. “where’s suki? isn’t she here with you?” the girl seated in the middle smiles. “suki is indisposed at the moment,” says a familiar, blood-chilling voice. “i’m afraid you’ll have to make do with us for now.” oh no.

katara draws her water, but ty lee has already backflipped behind her and blocked her chi, katara’s now useless weapon pooling around her as she lies helpless on the floor. she is completely defenseless as they throw her into an underground prison only an earthbender could escape from. elsewhere, aang gets a vision.

sokka is about to embark on his first actual mission with his father and prove himself as a warrior when he is interrupted by a bison and his boy. once again, he’s needed elsewhere. toph joins them on the way back. a dai li agent who doesn't trust the sudden regime change shows up at their apartment and informs them that katara is being held in the crystal catacombs under the city. sokka is torn between going with aang to rescue his sister or going with toph to save the earth king. as much as he wants to be there for katara, aang can master the avatar state now (or so he says), so he'll probably be fine on his own.

the avatar has been lured directly into azula's trap, and when he sees that the sheer number of dai li agents fighting alongside her are overpowering katara, aang has no choice but to go into the avatar state, which is when azula strikes. having successfully rescued the earth king (and bosco), sokka and toph fly on appa to meet katara, but it seems they are too late. aang is all but dead, and it is only when katara heals aang with her spirit water that he breathes once more. even then, he is barely conscious.

before they can go meet their dad and the rest of the southern water tribe fleet, katara knows she has one last pitstop to make. as she heads to the lower ring apartment, she pleads with the spirits that they'll be home. she really needs a win today. but when she opens the door to the apartment, the only people there are those horrible girls mai and ty lee.

"you!" she gasps. "what did you do with zuko?" mai looks characteristically bored as she responds. "we didn't do anything, azula came and told him that she killed the avatar, so he decided to go back to the fire nation. they left, like, an hour ago." katara is furious. "but she didn't kill aang! or, well, she did, but aang's– ugh! tell zuko to come back so i can punch him in the face!" mai rolls her eyes, but ty lee can tell that she's amused. "as much as i would like to see that," she says, "that's not in my control. so."

katara really wants to fight them, or anyone, really, but she has just enough sense to remember what happened every single time she's ever gone up against ty lee, so she leaves, slamming the (only recently-fixed) door so hard behind her that it breaks. she returns to appa alone with a silent shake of her head and tears streaming down her face. she spends the next few weeks tirelessly healing aang, pouring all her anger and frustration and and desperation into trying to get his eyes to open once more.

zuko is also on a fire nation ship, but not the one he spent the past few years on. he's finally heading back to the fire nation. now that his mission to capture and/or help the avatar is fruitless, he really has no other choice. looks like fate made that decision before he could. or well, azula did. he's not sure what happened to azula to turn her into a killer. it makes him feel somewhat guilty, for leaving. maybe she could've come with them, instead of being left behind with their scary grandpa. he's not looking forward to seeing azulon. how is he supposed to tell the most powerful man in the world that he disagrees with everything he's ever done in his life?

not to mention mai won't stop bothering him. he suspects azula has something to do with that too. mai keeps talking like the past three years never happened, and they can just pick back up where they left off, but zuko has changed so much lately. but as much as he tries to brush her off, she's always there. so he figures he may as well talk to her. she's hardly dumb, so maybe she can hear him out.

mai cannot stand all of zuko's borderline incoherent, flowery rants about "truth" and "justice." they're all "katara said" this, and "guru laghima said" that, and "then katara was like" oh my god SHUT UP ABOUT KATARA. mai obviously knew that azula and ty lee were lying when they were like, "i overheard zuko talking about how he has a crush on you, mai. you should totally talk to him," but she also knows that if she doesn't find a way to secure her position with him she will never live it down or be able to show her face in front of either of them again. so eventually she just gets fed up listening to him talk about how he and katara are totally, like, twin flames or whatever and just grabs his face and kisses him.

now this is zuko's first kiss (the date with jin never happened because ursa has more tact than iroh), so he kind of just freezes up and stands there, very still, long after it's over and mai has left the room, successful in her mission and once more bored and in need of a task. she lets him know that they're dating now and that he should bring her flowers, and zuko's just like "okay." he doesn't know how to feel about that. his first kiss. it felt... underwhelming? maybe if it had been set to a beautiful score, with better lighting, elaborate costumes... it was a very aesthetically mundane kiss. maybe that was the only the rehearsal though, and when they kiss again next time, it'll more romantic and elaborate.

zuko gets very in his own head about planning the perfect date so that he can stage the perfect (remedial) first kiss with mai. he brings her flowers, naturally. mai says, "thank you for the gift" and then drops them on the ground. zuko's like. "what??? did i bring you the wrong flowers???" he researched the flower symbolism and arrangement ahead of time so as to perfectly express this symbol of early love, developing feelings. mai's like, "oh, no, you did great, but i hate flowers." zuko has no idea what to say to that. she asked him to bring her flowers. mai's like "yeah but that didn't mean i wanted them." zuko asks mai what she does like, so that next time he can bring her that instead. she says, "knives," and then immediately follows up with, "but don't actually bring me knives. you'd be a bad boyfriend if you brought me knives. you're supposed to bring me flowers." zuko doesn't understand why he should go out of the way to bring flowers for someone who'll just throw them on the ground, but mai assures him that this is what good boyfriends do.

he resolutely continues the date he planned, even though it's clear that mai is not actually enjoying any of it. at the restaurant, she takes only the smallest bites of food, eating rice grain by grain. but every time he asks her if she wants to take it back to the kitchen and get something else, she assures him that she likes it and intends to finish it. they take a walk through a park at night, lanterns glimmering over the black water, and mai can't help but comment on what a cliche this romantic moonlit stroll is. zuko's like, "oh.... uh..... i think it's nice...." and mai's like, "of course it's nice. i love it." dessert is eaten on a picnic on a cliffside looking out at the full moon. mai comments on how full the moon is, but in a tone of voice that implies that she's fatshaming it. zuko blithely ignores her comment. once they finish their respective fruit tarts, zuko decides that this is the perfect moment to kiss mai again, this time with him in control so that it won't be all chaotic and boring like mai is. he still feels vaguely underwhelmed by the kiss, but this time he reassures himself that it's because he was kissing something he doesn't really like all that much, and not because the setting and ambiance and mood was off.

mai goes home extremely pleased with herself. if she has to date the crown prince to please azula, her parents, and whoever else gets their sick kicks from enforcing the heteropatriarchy, she'll at least troll everyone in the process.

meanwhile, ursa is adjusting to life back in the palace. zuko keeps remarking that he didn't remember the fire nation palace being so...... big and, like, foreboding. was it always this miserable here? ursa chuckles darkly. "believe it or not, it used to be a whole lot worse." zuko suddenly recalls the stories she told him in a barn in the middle of the night. he understands why she never told azula the truth.

it's weird. azula seems to actively be seeking ursa out, but she can't seem to go five seconds before picking a fight with her. ursa doesn't know how to communicate with azula. she never did. she assumes azula wants affection, but the more affection she shows her, the more azula pushes her away. but when she rises to azula's bait, azula says, "you haven't been here in over three years and now you want to criticize me???" eventually ursa just resigns herself into accepting that all fourteen year old girls are like this with their mothers; god knows she was, and she didn't even have to deal with being royalty.

aang wakes up, slowly but surely, and he isn't happy just spending his days on a fire nation ship. sokka assures him that this is the safest way for them to plan for the invasion, but aang can't take it. he let the world down. again. there's another storm at sea. this time, he washes ashore on a semi-active volcano. they find him, and from then on, they're hiding out in the fire nation until the invasion. they don disguises. aang goes to a fire nation school, and throws his classmates a secret dance party. katara impersonates a spirit and blows up a factory. sokka finds a master and forges a sword. they scam some people, fight some people, plan for the invasion. all pretty on-brand shenanigans.

azula is even more on-edge than usual. if she doesn't orchestrate this invasion counterattack perfectly, who knows what could happen. what matters most is that the avatar is really dead. she finds the perfect assassin to make sure of it. if the avatar is still alive, he won't be for much longer.

meanwhile zuko is so. bored. he thought being back in the fire nation, celebrated as a hero for finally killing the avatar (not that he actually did that, but y'know. everyone seemed to take azula's word for it, and it's not like he can expose her lie) would mean that he got to make more political decisions, but azulon still seems to treat him like he's some naive child. he traveled the world, he slew the avatar (allegedly), he has a goth gf! he's a man!!! but instead of letting him into important war councils, he's sending him off to ember island to go play kuai ball like he's some fucking kid. his only consolation is that azula's forced to go with him too, and she doesn't seem bothered with it, so maybe it's not a big deal.

it still sucks though. not only does zuko have to spend an entire weekend without his mom, but he has to put up with his annoying ass little sister and her annoying ass little friends, one of whom he is apparently dating, even though all she does is make fun of him to his face. no matter what he does there's no winning with her. she only seems remotely happy with him once he finally gets frustrated enough to dump her, but then five seconds later she's like, "okay i forgive you let's get back together," and he's like, "what??" she is dedicating her life to the bit, but he is the world's worst improv partner he is giving her nothing. ty lee wishes she could just sit there and enjoy the show but unfortunately she has to teach azula how to talk like a human. apparently azula spent all her time learning how to talk to generals, and never learned how to flirt with their dumb as bricks hot sons. they return to the capital and zuko goes to ursa and is like, "i don't know why you insisted that it would be good for me to make friends my age, teenagers fucking suck."

azulon finally lets him into a meeting, though not without azula milking those mindgames for all they're worth just to see if zuko's cheeks will puff up and he'll stomp his feet and clench his fists when he yells at her. he's so dramatic, it's hilarious. mai is waiting for him by the door when they file out of the war room. she asks him how the meeting went, and he stares into the distance and mumbles something inarticulate under his breath that sounds very much like a profound soliloquy, just based on like, the cadence and the meter. for all his enthusiasm for theater, zuko clearly never learned how to enunciate, so mai has no idea what he said. she just pulls her cheeks back into a thin-lipped smile and says, "sounds good, zuko."

zuko takes a day trip on his war balloon to the southern fire nation, and more specifically, a certain tea shop he had to beg his mother for the address to. at first, iroh thinks he is hallucinating the ghost of his dead son, or perhaps his dead brother, but then he realizes that it's just been six years since he'd last seen his nephew. he can replace that shattered teapot anyway.

iroh pours zuko tea as zuko tells him about how he spent the past six years. iroh is fascinated to hear of his travels, especially of meeting the avatar and his water tribe companions (and flying bison and lemur). he tells zuko that he's been living a humble life serving his community through teamaking and hosting pai sho game nights. of course, that's not the full truth, since he does receive frequent letters from the order of the white lotus, but zuko doesn't need to know that.

finally, zuko asks iroh what he came all this way to ask: "why don't you want to be firelord? you would have so much power to help people. don't you have a responsibility to use that power?" he could've stayed in ba sing se, safe behind the walls, but he knew it wasn't right. why doesn't his uncle? iroh sighs. "look, prince zuko. this may be difficult for you to understand, but i have caused a lot of harm in my past, and i am ashamed of what i have done. here, i don't have to worry about hurting anyone. tea may be a small joy, but it makes people happy. i would rather spend my life not harming anyone than having all the power in the world, even if it means helping the 'greater good.' this was the way of the air nomads, and i believe that if everyone adopted this practice, the world would be a better place." he places his lotus tile in the center of the board, beating zuko by a hair. with their tea drained and their pai sho game over (5 - 0), zuko hugs iroh goodbye and heads back to his war balloon with the promise to see iroh again soon. there are tears in iroh's eyes as zuko leaves.

the day of black sun is finally upon them, and everyone is prepared to meet their destiny. zuko remembers to scrawl a hasty letter to mai before removing his armor and undoing his topknot. where he's going, he won't need these hollow signifiers. while azula is distracting sokka, aang, and toph, zuko walks into azulon's throne room, swords in hand. he calmly tells his grandfather that he can no longer belong to such a cruel and violent system. there is no changing it from the inside, so he's leaving. oh, and also, he didn't kill the avatar. azula lied about that. he wasn't sure that he was alive until now, but turns out the avatar is part of the invasion force, so good luck with that. azulon is so shocked he actually passes out.

zuko runs to his mother's chambers to let her know of his somewhat sudden change of plan, only he can't find her anywhere. on second thought, he probably should've told her ahead of time. now he has no clue where she is and he needs to leave soon if he wants to follow the avatar. also, it's probably for the best if she stays behind with azula anyway. he leaves a note on her dresser and rushes to his war balloon, right in time to pursue their flying bison.

none of them want to talk about what just happened. the invasion should've gone perfectly, but instead it was a colossal failure. sokka suggests that they still have time to stick to the old plan, teach aang firebending in time for sozin's comet. zuko, who managed to sneak up on them with their backs turned (minus toph), offers his services. before he can even finish waving awkwardly, katara has nearly speared him 20 times, and it's only with aang and sokka holding her arms back that her ice doesn't penetrate his flesh and instead just melts midair and splashes on top of him just someone dropped a freezing bucket on his head, the force of which knocks him over.

zuko slips and slides a little before finally righting himself and repeating his little speech. "i can teach firebending. to you." he tells aang, while trying not to shrivel under the weight of katara's glare. aang's like, "yeah, i don't think that's a good idea. you should probably leave before our muscles give out and we can no longer hold katara back." he takes one look at katara, who is frothing at the mouth ready to rip zuko into a million little pieces, and is like, "yeah okay."

toph tells them that they're being idiots. they need a firebending teacher, but apparently the guy who offers to teach them firebending isn't good enough because he ghosted katara or something? after katara has tired herself out of yelling to toph about all the ways in which he betrayed her, and then sokka tacks on that toph wasn't there, she hasn't actually witnessed zuko's bad vibes firsthand (which conflicts katara because on one hand, she quite likes zuko's vibes, but on the other hand, she wants to murder him), toph calls them blind and stomps away.

zuko is having one of his typical nightmares when he's interrupted by a little green child he only vaguely recognizes. he is not fully lucid upon hearing her, so his instinct, to shoot fire at her, proves to be a disastrous mistake. toph crawls all the way back to camp with burned feet. hurting katara emotionally was one thing (as protective of katara as sokka is, he also recognizes that katara does often set herself up to get hurt emotionally), but hurting toph physically is another. toph assures the furious siblings that she startled zuko, and it was an accident, but to katara it's just fuel for the flames, and to sokka it's the worst thing anyone could do. absolutely no way are they letting that violent clown anywhere near their friends.

then who shows up but combustion man. they can't run from him anymore, not if they want to preserve what's left of the western air temple. zuko runs right up to his face. "my sister hired you, right??? well i can pay you double to stop!!!!" he doesn't listen, for some reason. (maybe it's a matter of pride?) he shoves zuko aside with one extremely large hand. it's like picking up a kitten. it's impossible to fight this guy head-on. but sokka throws his boomerang square in his third eye, which results in him blowing himself up, and zuko too. almost.

aang has no choice but to thank zuko. even though sokka was the one to kill him, hello???? but, it was noble of zuko to attempt to save them. katara is tempted to suggest that it was all staged to make him seem heroic, but then thinks better of it. no one is that insane. he launches into a (far more coherent) speech (now that he's not at risk of developing hypothermia), and gives them the full explanation of why he made the choices he did, and what made him change his mind. zuko then apologizes to toph for burning her feet. he acknowledges the destructive nature of firebending, but that he only wants to use firebending to heal and help people from now on. this promise shifts something in aang. maybe zuko does need to be his firebending teacher.

he asks toph what she thinks, and of course toph is all for it. she knows a sincere apology when she hears one, and besides, zuko seems like an all right guy to her. sokka acquiesces that aang does need a firebending teacher, so he'll do whatever it takes to win the war, even if it means putting up with this absolute schmuck. katara glares at zuko while admitting through gritted teeth that she trusts aang's decision.

sokka shows zuko to his room and zuko is so grateful and happy so sokka tries to be polite, but afterwards he goes to aang and is like "okay it is literally so hard to be nice to that guy." katara shows up in zuko's doorway the second he's done setting up a photo of his mom by his bed and she threatens him so terrifyingly he nearly blacks out. since he hasn't eaten all day, his hunger wins out over his fear of katara and he joins them for dinner, where he finds out that three other people he's never seen before in his life are also staying here?? before he can properly introduce himself, sokka's just like "zuko, meet haru, teo, and the duke. guys, meet zuko, he's the piece of shit i was telling you about who's gonna teach aang firebending." zuko's just like, "...............................hello?"

zuko excuses himself from dinner early. he was already scared of sokka from the moment he met him, and that was before he watched him kill combustion man with a boomerang. now he also has reason to be terrified of katara. he burned their friend's feet. things are still pretty awkward with the avatar. and there are three other teenage boys here too. is it too late to go work in his uncle's teashop and avoid all his responsibilities?

the next day, zuko does some pretty weak firebending demonstrations for aang. frankly, firebending has always been one of his weakest skills. aang claps politely, but zuko feels like a fool. but then he remembers something iroh said during his visit, that everything he learned about true firebending could be found at the sun warriors' temple. aang's like, "aren't they all gone?" but zuko just shrugs. he trusts uncle iroh.

katara accuses zuko of wanting to take aang to secondary location so that he can drug and kill and possibly torture and even eat him, but aang's like, "no, katara, zuko is many things, but he's not a liar. plus i'm pretty sure i can take him lol i mean look at how skinny he is a gust of wind could knock him over." this gets katara to smile. "you're right, aang," she agrees, "i trust you." zuko is just standing there like, "okay well first of all that was really rude. also i'm not a cannibal??"

they come back a few days later with a fire nation dance locked and loaded. katara and sokka have a lot to say about it, but eventually zuko relaxes upon realizing that them gently homophobically bullying him is actually far preferable to them talking about how they would murder him. with aang now fully onboard the zuko train, it's easier for everyone else to integrate him into the group. toph, teo, haru, and the duke (not that zuko actually remembers any of their names) all treat him like he's any other friend, katara limits her dislike to mean jokes at his expense, and sokka is pretty quiet and withdrawn in general.

one night, sokka pulls zuko aside. zuko tries to mask his terror as he oh so casually asks, "so what's up?" sokka asks him where high ranking prisoners of war would be held, and zuko is forced to tell him once sokka admits that he wants to know about his dad. of course he's also aware that this means that sokka will not rest until he has found his father, so zuko ambushes him as he attempts to sneak off. sokka's like, "look, no offense, but even if i did let you come, you'd only slow me down. i don't need some useless imbecile getting me caught." zuko's like, "okay, well, offense taken, also you need a firebender to operate a war balloon and that's your only viable mode of transportation." sokka points out that actually that isn't true, he did quite literally invent the mechanism that allows war balloons to fly, and zuko's just like, "oh my god what the fuck nooooo" and "how is that even possible????" but then he says, "if you don't let me help you i'll literally kill myself right now and then you'll have to explain to aang why his new firebending teacher is dead. my blood will be on your hands." he's fully bluffing, but sokka isn't willing to take his chances (mostly because killing himself just to spite someone else has always lowkey been his fantasy). sokka is like, "well your blood will be on my hands either way but whatever it's your funeral" and zuko's like, "what?" and sokka's like "what?" and off they go.

they return with suki, hakoda, and chit sang, sokka now of the opinion that zuko is somewhat tolerable. what he lacks in brains he makes up for in bravery and extreme sincerity. azula shows up to the temple a while later with a crazed look in her eye that does not bode well. zuko, mai, and ty lee all betrayed her. her mother has disappeared god knows where. azulon's health is failing but it's clear he doesn't want her to succeed him now that he knows she lied to him to bring zuko back. he keeps asking for iroh. azula doesn't know what to do. all she can hope for is that if she kills the avatar and zuko for good then maybe grandfather will be able to forgive her before he dies. of course it can never be that easy.

the gaang celebrates another near escape, but katara sees nothing to celebrate. even sokka accepts zuko now. how is he of all people not on her side about this?! zuko goes to confront katara. he doesn't understand why she won't just trust him. she reminds him that she was the first person to trust him, to offer him a spot in their group. and he abandoned her, betrayed her trust. he asks what he can do to make it up to her. she snarls, "oh, i don't know, maybe you can bring my mother back!"

zuko doesn't really know what to do with that, since she told him what happened to her mother. zuko barges into sokka's tent without a second thought and asks him what the flag emblem on the ships that raided them that day looked like. sokka tells him, as quickly as possible, so that he'll leave him the fuck alone. zuko waits outside katara's tent all night to share this information with her. they go track yon rha down, despite aang and sokka's concerns.

katara returns with a newfound understanding of herself, of her own humanity. of how to let go of the stories she told herself to survive, and instead better appreciate what's real, even when it's not pretty. she understands zuko better now too. she hugs him, and from that moment onwards, they are best friends.

they travel to ember island, where they spend their remaining days until sozin's comet. from his deathbed, azulon tells his granddaughter that she can't be trusted with the plan – her plan – to burn the earth kingdom to the ground. instead he'll send a delegation of generals on their airship fleet. he wants to keep her close, in the palace, where he won't have to worry about her screwing things up. guards follow her everywhere. no matter what she does or where she goes, she knows there are eyes on her, watching for any signs of further betrayal. she's a glorified prisoner, having to pretend she doesn't notice. needless to say, this situation is terrible for her already rapidly declining mental health.

informed of the plan to raze the earth kingdom, aang isn't sure what to do. zuko reminds him that azulon is in his final years, but azula is next in line to take the throne. aang isn't sure what's worse, having to kill an old man or a teenager. zuko reminds aang that this "old man" is responsible for the decimation of the southern water tribe and occupation of the earth kingdom. aang doesn't like being talked down to as if he doesn't already know that, so he leaves the room. he needs to be alone, to meditate and reflect on what impossible choice he must make next.

the next morning, aang is missing. they can't find him anywhere; they even search the entire island, but despite the fact that his glider is still in the house, he's gone. zuko takes them to june the bounty hunter to track him down, but she informs them that he's disappeared. for all intents and purposes, he doesn't exist. zuko refuses to lose hope. he gives june his mother's shawl. sokka's like "you just take that with you.... everywhere you go?" but katara and toph are like "awww no it's sweet shut up." she leads them just outside the outer wall of ba sing se.

they make camp there for the night, but are awoken by four old masters. they lead them inside the white lotus camp grounds, where it turns out that iroh, ursa, and about an eighth of zuko's former crew have been living since the day of black sun. as it turns out, ursa received a letter from iroh after zuko visited him, cryptically instructing her to meet him on the outer wall of ba sing se on the day of the invasion. zuko asks his mom why she didn't take him or azula with her, but ursa admits that she didn't know where they were and she didn't have time to find them. she could only hope they would remain safe in her absence.

katara is shocked. "you've been a member of the white lotus the entire time???" she asks ursa. she informs her that actually, she just joined in an official capacity. she kept regular correspondence with iroh, but she wasn't herself a member. then he invited her to participate in their mission to take back ba sing se for the earth kingdom. ursa has vital information on the city that was integral to their plans, being the only member of the organization who's actually lived there and all. besides, they could use another firebender, especially if they plan on striking during sozin's comet.

zuko is, of course, overjoyed to see his mother again, but he admits that he's worried about azula. they've left her behind in the palace once again, but this time she doesn't have mai and ty lee to rely on, and she's fallen out of their grandfather's good graces. they devise a plan. sokka, suki, and toph will take down the airship fleet, while zuko and katara go to the palace. they have to be careful. the palace is filled with guards, and they don't want to fight any more people than they have to. they find azula, sitting alone in her room with scissors in her hand and clumps of hair on the floor.

"what are you doing?" zuko asks. "is it not obvious?" azula retorts. "i'm giving myself a royal haircut. i have to look good for my coronation after all. any day now, grandfather will take his last breath, and i will become firelord. it's a shame that it has to happen after sozin's comet, since i would have done an excellent job of burning the earth kingdom to the ground, but no matter, i'm sure the generals will do a fine job as well. grandfather wants me by his side in his final days, you see. i find the sentiment a bit maudlin, but he is dying, so i can forgive him this." her words are slightly slurred as she rambles.

zuko merely scoffs. "you're not going to become firelord," he says. azula laughs, high and manic. "oh, you think you're going to become firelord? after you disgraced our nation by joining the avatar? you're hilarious." katara readies her water. "and you're going down," she snaps back. they get into fighting stances, but zuko puts his hand out. "wait, no," he says. "i don't wanna be firelord." all the fight is knocked out of azula out of sheer surprise. "but didn't you always say it was your destiny?" she asked. "i spent our whole lives trying to convince you not to be firelord and suddenly... you agree?" zuko nods. "yeah pretty much."

but suddenly another problem presents itself. who will take the throne? katara suggests ursa, but azula shakes her head. "she would never agree to it. she hates it here." same goes for iroh. "what about you?" zuko asks. "could you do it?" katara laughs. then she realizes he's serious. then she laughs even harder. "or sokka? sokka could be good." katara's like, "i know, let's get momo to be firelord. we can make him a little cape and crown." she's obviously being sarcastic, but zuko, who adores momo, puts his hand on his heart as he says, "i can think of no one worthier." meanwhile azula's like, "who the hell is momo?"

they explain to azula that momo is their pet flying lemur, and azula's just like, "you know what? fuck it. that's hilarious. i don't even care anymore. life's just a waste of time until you die anyway, right? so what the hell." katara and zuko exchange a look. gently, zuko asks, "um.... azula? do you wanna talk about it?"

by the time everyone else gets back to the palace (sokka with a broken leg, but everyone else relatively unscathed), zuko and katara are just like, "oh, good, you're all alive. and on our end, azula is taking a nap. yeah she cried so hard she eventually passed out. but now she's sleeping soundly :)"

ursa goes to check on azula, who is curled up in bed with her hair in a braid and a cup of half-finished tea on her bedside table. she decides not to disturb her daughter while she's resting. whatever conversation they should have can wait for tomorrow. then she goes to azulon's room, where he's slowly dying. she decides to speed up the process. meanwhile, zuko and katara inform their friends that they've decided that they're going to crown momo as the next firelord. aang, sokka, toph, and suki are all ecstatic. this the best possible outcome. (the only objector is appa, who maintains that he would do a better job, but his roar of indignation sounds a lot like his roar of agreement, so everyone just assumes that he's happy for his friend's new promotion.)

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whumpwillow · 5 months

Text

Demon's Haven 16

a guy who is just an idiot

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masterlist

warnings: past torture, blood, whumpee thinking caretaker is new whumper, self-harm references (he's aggravating his own injuries), vague dissociation references

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I just wanted them to respect me.

Words he’d never dared to utter out loud before. Hell was a vicious place where weakness wasn’t tolerated, and vulnerability got you nowhere. So he’d learned to keep his thoughts to himself, and to manifest his more…envious desires in other ways.

He’d never have admitted it to himself if all this hadn’t happened. He spent long hours working in his study just to occupy his mind so that he wouldn’t have to think of such things. And yet there it was, the undeniable proof that he was weak. That he had to resort to base means in order to try and garner respect when his other siblings were capable of it just by virtue of their very existence.

Hah, virtue.

His brothers had the lesser demons looking up to them as if they were gods and all they had to do was walk into a room. Pride especially was a perfect example of this. He was like the sun—he drew attention to himself as if his presence was itself a gravitational pull. Envy hated it. He wanted it. He didn’t have the ability for that sort of thing and had to take the scraps of attention that he was owed, grasping and strangling.

He thought the other demons would be awed or at least cowed by his display of brutality in the human realm, but then Lust had gone and one-upped him without even trying. Envy, as always, faded into the background. His actions forgotten by all the people he wanted to have remembered, yet was brought up again now only to serve as a reminder of his failings.

It was such a stupid farce. All of it.

He clenched his hair in his hands, disregarding the broken fingers. He let the pain consume him. He wanted to disappear.

Throwing his hands down in frustration did nothing to stop the riotous feelings welling inside. Did nothing to stop the voice of the angel. That burning, stinging, cooing voice. It told him he was a sinner. That he should suffer, that he should be punished, that he should live his days in fear and regret and utter misery. The angel made him believe it to be true.

The angel’s voice played out in his thoughts, telling him to be afraid.

Warm hands wrapped around his thin wrists. Envy drew in a sharp intake of breath, his gaze locking onto the witch’s.

Oh, Haven.

Why had he told her who he was? She was going to hurt him now, surely. She said she wouldn’t—many times, in fact—but how could he believe that? How could she not want to?

And yet. She held his wrists in her hands but did not squeeze the bruises there. She did not yank him forward or send him tumbling to the floor. She continued to surprise him by showing familiar actions that usually preceded violence and replacing them with kindness and Envy didn’t know what to do about it.

He wanted to be free of pain. He wanted to be free of his thoughts. He wanted to pay for his sins. He wanted to rest.

He tried to think of what to say as an excuse for his actions, and what had tumbled off his lips were truer thoughts than any he had said in years. Perhaps ever. He struggled to think of anyone he’d ever told his deepest secrets to and came up blank. Such was his life, what he used to think so highly of and yet what crumbled in mere moments.

He was crying again, goddammit. His eyes stung and the back of his throat burned, the feeling distinct from that of holy water being forced down it. Sharper, deeper. Utterly humiliating.

Haven wiped a stray tear from his cheek. Envy allowed his eyes to flutter closed as he savored the touch. When had anyone ever touched him like that? Like he was something worthy of being held so gently, like he was more precious than all the gemstones in his court?

“You’re bleeding again.”

Envy blinked dumbly at her in response to the statement. Finally catching up after a moment too long, he processed the words and turned to look over his shoulder. Sure enough, the lashes from the silver whip had turned the gauze a cherry-red. He was in less pain than he’d been in since…well, the beginning of his imprisonment, so this could actually have been seen as an improvement that he hadn’t noticed.

“Ah, I see,” he said, with utmost intelligence. Clearly.

Haven settled herself on the bed next to him, more carefully than before. He knew it wasn’t because of his injuries, but because of who he was. She was afraid of him. He’d seen it in her eyes when she jumped from the bed, instinct urging her to run from him. He almost wished she had. He only wanted her to be happy, not afraid.

But he was a selfish creature, and he couldn’t stop himself from the need that raged in him, that which made him desperately not want to be left alone. It was the same desire that made him grab her wrist earlier, and what had compelled him to think he could order her to stay while he bathed even when he knew she would have preferred to be elsewhere. He just couldn’t stop himself from causing problems for her.

And know she knew who he was. What he’d done.

Worse, she was a witch. She was of the ilk that he had carelessly slaughtered for amusement and recognition, and now Envy was at the mercy of her decisions. He wondered if she would take revenge for her kind that had died at his hands, or at those of his brothers’. The thought made his chest ache something fierce, but he couldn’t tell her not to. He didn’t have the right. After everything, he was still the same awful being that he was always was and he didn’t want her to treat him any differently than she had been.

He knew he didn’t deserve her kindness. Oh, he knew. The angel had made sure that he believed every awful thing she ever said about him, but by everything he was borne of, he wanted nothing more than for Haven to remain as she was.

“I’ll need to stitch them. The wounds on your back,” she said to him.

There was no malice in her voice, nor fear. The second emotion, however, was plain on her face even as she tried to hide it.

Envy nodded listlessly. “Alright.”

He realized this going to be a long night and that he wouldn’t get to drift off so soon. If he got lucky, she’d let him sleep while she worked. He might even be able to—he’d gotten lots of practice in sleeping in uncomfortable positions while in terrible pain.

Envy nodded, the motion stilted. He braced himself for what was to come and whether or not the witch—Haven, lovely Haven, such an apropos name—would take this as her opportunity to turn on him.

She didn’t, at least not right at that moment. Instead, she pursed her lips, forming them into a mildly displeased moue. Envy winced and cursed his tendency to nod rather than reply with actual words. That must have been what had done it. She was angry with him now for not being treated with the proper respect, of course. Because he was a demon prince, fallen so far, now at the mercy of those once considered beneath him and of course, of course she would want him to demonstrate just how much their positions had changed. He was just so tired, so it was easier to opt for a nod rather than to force the sounds from his throat that was still so raw from begging, screaming, pleading, pleading—

“We should get some rest.”

Haven set her hands down on her lap and stood, then brushed off her skirts. Envy watched her. Blinked once, twice. The witch began collecting the bandages and rolls of gauze from the bed.

“What?” Envy asked, confused.

Haven paused, then looked at him. “We’re both tired, you’re not going to bleed out, and I’m sure you would appreciate not being stuck with a needle while I try to sew you up half-asleep. We can do it tomorrow.”

Envy couldn’t seem to process the information he was hearing. She was going to let him sleep? Not just that, but to let him sleep unhindered by additional pain? What was the catch?

Haven bent down to pick up a bandage roll that had fallen, but Envy slipped off the bed to get it for her. He didn’t account for the fact that he could barely use his legs, and ended up falling ever-so-gracefully to the floor like an utter disgrace. His knees hit first, cracking loudly on the wood slats, and the rest of him followed soon after, crumpling like wet paper. His chest pitched forward and he, thankfully, turned his head to the side so that his cheek hit the floor instead of cracking his chin on it, though it still smarted. The pain shot into his broken ribs had him keening, sending out a high-pitched whine as if he’d become a tea kettle. The angel had humiliated him plenty, but this really did it for him.

He at least managed to wrap his fingers uselessly around the stray bandage he’d meant to offer to Haven.

The witch herself had released her burden entirely, dropping her arms to her sides so that all the gauze she’d previously gathered now fell at her feet and rolled away, adding to the existing mess on the floor. She knelt in front of Envy and gingerly placed her hands on his upper arms, and she was saying something he couldn’t make out. The world was incessantly loud all of a sudden, ringing in his ears. Pain, his only sensation.

“H-help—” Envy croaked.

Fear rose in his throat, burned in his belly, and inflamed the space of his chest. It beat against the inside of his damaged ribcage, fighting to get free as if it were a trapped animal. Envy thought it was kind of funny, to think of it like that. To understand and sympathize with an emotion itself, because he too, was once a trapped animal.

His hands shook.

“-vy! Envy! Your Highness! Prince whatever!”

The witch called out to him. Envy struggled to take in a breath. He felt her rubbing her thumbs up and down where she held his arms, and that too, made an emotion well inside him. He couldn’t place the name of it.

“P-prince whatever,” he said, once he could take in a full breath.

His throat felt raw and scratchy.

“I didn’t know what to call you,” Haven replied, sheepishly.

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and gave him a wobbly smile. Envy tried to maneuver his lips into doing the same, but he felt…odd. Disconnected from his body in a way that was not unfamiliar to his time spent in the cell with the angel, on the days where he would go someplace faraway into his mind when the pain became too much to bear. Even before, to a lesser degree, the numbness would come for him without warning. He saw it as being better than the torture, at least.

“Are you…” Haven said, but trailed off and bit her lip.

“Fine.”

Envy was not fine, had never been fine, and likely would never be fine again for as long as he lived. But he was just that—living, and that was all that likely mattered to the witch, if she even cared at all.

He regretted that last thought when he saw her face all scrunched up, appearing at once both sad and irate. Her eyes became red and misty, though no tears fell. She bunched her hands into fists at her sides and Envy thought she meant to hit him, though she only glared.

“Why did you do that?” she yelled.

Envy opened his mouth, but found he didn’t have an answer, or even any idea to what she was referring.

“I—” He remembered the bandage roll grasped loosely in his damaged fingers. “Oh.”

He held it up to Haven as far as his arm would give him the strength to, which to his dismay, wasn’t more than a few inches.

“I wanted to help,” he said.

Haven put a hand to her face and closed her eyes, then exhaled. When she looked at him again, her expression had softened. Envy noticed her unclench her fists and his shoulders sagged in relief.

“Just focus on getting better. Okay? That’s how you can help.”

—

(taglist in reblogs)

#he's trying his best okay?#whump #whump writing #my writing #willow writes #demon whumpee #demon whump #original work: demon's haven #dissociation tw #self harm tw

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esther-dot · 2 years

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I can't forgive Ned for his utter lack of parenting when it comes to Sansa. He who showed more concern for Lady's corpse (who he killed without a fight, a few measly words in protest don't count) than his own daughter. Though I don't think GRRM sees it that way, for him it seems Sansa is somehow flawed for being distraught and not being 100% perfect. I wonder if he realises he wrote Ned as neglectful parent to Sansa, I think he'd be surprised by how some see Ned's mistakes.

When I read AGOT, Ned and Sansa’s dynamic reminded of one I’ve seen irl. Sometimes when people have a dreamy child, parents romanticize that and don’t want their child to be disillusioned, so they shield the child from reality in a way that isn’t healthy and might actually endanger the child.At times the desire to protect a child’s innocence leads parents to keep them in ignorance of things that they really need to know. It is a failure, but not for lack of care, rather, being misguided in how they care.

I don’t think the author intended us to judge it too severely, so yes, I think he would be surprised by the harshest of the criticism leveled at Ned because some of what we deem neglectful doesn’t feel like the author intended for us to view it the way we do, it just allowed him to create the necessary unraveling of Sansa’s trust in her father’s judgment to allow her to defy him.

I believe that Ned loved Sansa dearly, but when you have a “perfect” child and one that demands attention, one of those kids you begin to depend on to always be that way, to always behave, and the other soaks up a lot of energy. It is easy to overlook the emotional needs of the goody goody because they aren’t demanding anything. Ned offers Sansa less as a result of this dynamic. Less attention, less explanation, because she always did what she was supposed to do, but also, when I read the words he uses with Sansa, it makes me wonder if he and Jon share that same soft spot for Sansa’s romanticism, and he thought he didn’t want to crush her view of the world.

"Sweet one," her father said gently, "listen to me. When you're old enough, I will make you a match with a high lord who's worthy of you, someone brave and gentle and strong. This match with Joffrey was a terrible mistake. That boy is no Prince Aemon, you must believe me." (AGOT, Sansa III)

Looking at this we see an admission that he made a mistake, we see him telling Sansa she is worth far more, deserves better, than this, and a plea for her to trust him, “believe me” rather than telling her the truth. Of course, we know why he didn’t tell her the truth, she’s a child and information such as this can get you killed, and if not for all the mistakes he made earlier with Sansa, she may have done as he asked.

There’s laziness in not seeking out the “easy” kid and making sure they’re well, but there’s also...a naivete to this type of parenting that fits in with Ned’s lack of planning for the future. Almost like the desire for their child to remain a child will somehow stop other people from taking advantage of the ignorance you’ve kept them in. Even in this conversation, I still think Ned isn’t being as direct as he should have been with Sansa because while Ned is focused on everything he knows, he is ignoring what Sansa believes which is, Arya is the troublemaker, their fighting is why they’re being punished by going home, and Arya is getting the thing she wants to make going home easier, but Sansa is getting nothing. If Ned had offered to bring a singer home, I wonder if it might have been different, but as it is, he is robbing Sansa, the one who up to that point hadn’t done anything wrong but suffered by his hand when he killed Lady, to sacrifice without question. I read this, and I think the author intended for us to sympathize with her:

Sansa cried as Septa Mordane marched them down the steps. They were going to take it all away; the tournaments and the court and her prince, everything, they were going to send her back to the bleak grey walls of Winterfell and lock her up forever. Her life was over before it had begun.

"Stop that weeping, child," Septa Mordane said sternly. "I am certain your lord father knows what is best for you."

(AGOT, Sansa III)

Once she may have believed her father, once she may have been reassured by her Septa, but now? After Lady? Now while being denied the life she had been taught to expect and accept without question? This is what she was raised for, this is what she was brought here to do, and suddenly, nope. Her dad changed his mind and she has to leave and go back to a life that is unfulfilling and stifling? It’s too much! And nothing is offered her, not a real explanation, no true sympathy, and nothing to make returning to Winterfell less than the most grievous disappointment.

To me, it reads like a situation in which we are meant to understand both viewpoints and sympathize with both characters.

Ned isn’t the villain, and Sansa has every reason to feel as she does.

It’s a literary trope to have characters desperate to leave the small town for the big city, to escape life on the farm etc, and this reads so much like that, there is no way Martin thought fans would condemn Sansa’s desire for more. At the same time, I don’t think he wants fans to think too badly of Ned. It seems to me that the author wants to include mistakes without it being a sweeping condemnation of a character. I think of Cat who says a cruel thing to Jon and how the rest of the fandom will never forgive her, and to Martin, it was meant to be a sign of her extraordinary grief and pain, that we’re meant to understand that was not the norm which makes me think that he expects us to be far more understanding of characters than we are, generally speaking.

When I read AGOT, I don’t feel like I’m being guided to condemn Sansa or Ned. I think Martin set out to crush Sansa’s illusions, but I believe in his mind, that’s a sad thing. That Sansa is a victim of her world, not that she was wrong to have faith in the first place. And Ned made mistakes, but he remains one of the few good men in the series, and his values, are more or less correct. There’s a reason why it is his children who will rule in the end. All the same, Martin certainly intended us to find some fault with Ned, as Ned himself does!

He damned them all: Littlefinger, Janos Slynt and his gold cloaks, the queen, the Kingslayer, Pycelle and Varys and Ser Barristan, even Lord Renly, Robert's own blood, who had run when he was needed most. Yet in the end he blamed himself. "Fool," he cried to the darkness, "thrice-damned blind fool."

Cersei Lannister's face seemed to float before him in the darkness. Her hair was full of sunlight, but there was mockery in her smile. "When you play the game of thrones, you win or you die," she whispered. Ned had played and lost, and his men had paid the price of his folly with their life's blood.

When he thought of his daughters, he would have wept gladly, but the tears would not come. Even now, he was a Stark of Winterfell, and his grief and his rage froze hard inside him. (Eddard, XV)

Ned knows he failed is men and failed his daughters. He had the right motivations, the right desires, the right goals, but he fumbled it all. He underestimated his enemies, and he didn’t put his daughters’ safety above all. He also realizes that Lady’s death was not merely a crime against justice, but a rejection of the blessing of his gods:

She put a finger to his lips. "Let me tell it all, my love. It will go faster that way. Listen."

So he listened, and she told it all, from the fire in the library tower to Varys and the guardsmen and Littlefinger. And when she was done, Eddard Stark sat dazed beside the table, the dagger in his hand. Bran's wolf had saved the boy's life, he thought dully. What was it that Jon had said when they found the pups in the snow? Your children were meant to have these pups, my lord. And he had killed Sansa's, and for what? Was it guilt he was feeling? Or fear? If the gods had sent these wolves, what folly had he done? (AGOT, Eddard IV)

So, yes, I do think Martin would be a little surprised at how angry Ned’s parenting makes us, but he does intend at least some critique here. If anyone’s parent killed their pet and then that parent said, “trust me,” there is no believing them, and the death of the pet is such a big thing in American lit, I think Martin fully intended for us to understand Sansa’s inability to continue to just obey, not for us to view it as a crime. Delivering the realization of just how bad this action was in Ned’s thoughts, so much worse than killing the average pet, means Martin certainly wants us to understand the full weight of it. But there can be mistakes that don’t erase the good in a character, parenting failures that aren’t entirely damning, and that interestingly enough, arise from not quite living in the real world, and I suppose in that way, Ned and Sansa both live in a dream.

#ask dot #sansa and ned #sansa stark #ned stark

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siriannatan · 5 months

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Court of Ice and Fire - Chapter 1/3

Chapter 2 - Chapter 3

So I re-read certain fic of mine cougdragon's courtcough and decided to try swapping the dynamic. It was… shockingly difficult.

fWhip thought he'd never regret allying himself with his siblings. There was no way they would ever betray him, right? Especially after the stunt Scott pulled. Joining fWhip's alliance and then betraying him to join the Cod alliance just to leave it shortly after and practically isolate himself from everyone. Talk about confusing.

Well. To fWhip's utter shock, they did. Yes, maybe he was getting a bit out of hand with his experimental weapons. But for even Sausage to jump ship? That was low... But not the lowest. The lowest was the fact that fWhip was likely only alive thanks to Scott of all people. The aloof, cold and distant king of ice elves.

So now fWhip was in Rivendell. He had no idea how long he was in Scott's custody. He was passing out a lot lately. For reasons he'd rather not think about that might be connected to his consciousness issue he was tied to a bed too big for a mere prisoner. In a lot of pain for connected reasons. Glaring at Scott as the accursed elf calmly sipped his tea.

fWhip never saw him so underdressed. The long, thick coat he usually always had on, no doubt expensive fabric and furs dragging behind him. Instead covering a tall mirror in one corner. fWhip was at least guessing it was a mirror since there were no mirrors in the room and who like who but Scott liked seeing himself. But who could blame him, Scott was nice to look at even if fWhip was currently rather annoyed with him. Scott should expose his collarbones more often.

"Finally calmed down? Can we talk?" the elf asked, setting his teacup down. fWhip just glared, bearing his teeth. He was not in a mood to talk to anyone. Almost least of all Scott. "Will it be okay if I untie you or will you try to hurt yourself again?" the elf asked, far too calmly for fWhip's liking, as he approached the bed.

After he sat down Scott reached out towards fWhip's face. fWhip, obviously, tried biting him as soon as the pale, perfect, for once bare hand was in his range. Rude, yes. But Scott was fast enough to avoid being actually bitten so he didn't feel too bad too long. Not with cold, dry fingers wrapping around his throat and pushing him into the bed, flaring up the pain he suffered from the last few days.

"Will you go to the healers willingly or do I have to drag you?" Scott rephrased his question. Dark blue eyes narrowing in what could only be described as annoyance.

fWhip tried to struggle but Scott's hand didn't budge. It only got colder, actually. "I can walk on my own..." he finally growled. He could swear Scott's hand started retreating just as he spoke. Maybe even a second or two sooner. But there was no way that was the case. He must have been imagining things.

Once he was sure fWhip wouldn't try biting him again, Scott carefully released the restraints binding fWhip to the bed. He was silent the whole time aside from short yes or no questions on how fWhip's feeling. Not like he really actually cared, fWhip thought. He just couldn't have him dying too fast after all the trouble that was dragging fWhip to Rivendell after the whole mess that happened in Grimlands... Was still happening? He'd probably have to eventually ask about it. Or he could just wait. Not like Scott was going to let him go anytime soon.

The walk to Scott's royal medic was a slow and long one. And boring. As pretty as Scott's castle was there wasn't anything worthy looking at. Aside from the king himself but all fWhip was willing to offer him was a half-hearted glare. Right between his shoulder blades were where his wings would be if he wasn't hiding them. Most likely for comfort. Or so fWhip choose to believe. Why else?

The glaring was actually helping. fWhip could barely walk. His limbs were stiff from being tied and not used for the past few days. And together with his other injuries, it made walking hard. Glaring distracted him slightly from the pain. And he couldn't help but sourly notice that Scott was walking much slower than usual. And didn't put his coat back on, leaving it over the mirror. Any guards or staff that came anywhere near them were glared away by their king. fWhip was only slightly glad no one but Scott had to really see him too much right now.

Aside from his royal healers.

fWhip did his best to ignore the healers as they carefully removed the bandages around his chest. Their chatter about how they managed to fix his broken ribs passed by his ears. Even if he'd usually be fascinated by the workings of magic. Especially elven magic. But as things stand he was barely listening to the healers, as a guard came in. They whispered something in Scott's ear. "A guard will take you back to the room," the elven king said before leaving. Not that fWhip cared for his presence. If anything the healers became quieter and more bearable without him around.

"You should be careful not to strain your ribs or back too much for the next few weeks," it was probably the best he'd get out of anyone about what he actually wanted to hear. So he didn't complain as new bandages were wrapped around him to protect a new portion of the healing salve meant to assist the healing magic that fixed his wounds.

The walk back was even more awkward than walking with Scott. It felt like the guard was afraid fWhip would bite him. Well, he did try to bite Scott already and was sure he'd try again. Something about the way Scott looked at him ticked him the wrong way.

Just like the noise of a key being turned. But not as much as the one covered by Scott's coat mirror. Despite the urge to kick the door he just pulled the coat off the mirror. Carelessly discarding it on the floor.

All he felt this past few days. Jumping between consciousness and void of unconsciousness. Flashes of memory mixing with long present nightmares. He was always seen as a monster, hard to control, a monster without hold on his temperament. His own parents called him that just hours before he became the count. Glaring at the massive wings on his back.

Wing lack of which was now painfully glaring at fWhip from the mirror. Along with a bandage on his left eye. And bandages peeking from under a loose shirt. Not one of his own. The fabric was too soft for his usual wardrobe. And it was too big. One of Scott's? It certainly looked like it. It was suddenly feeling itchy on his skin, his scales no doubt coming to the surface. It was only a matter of time before it was ruined.

His horns were mostly okay. The end of one was missing a visible chunk. Not that he cared anymore. His tail was wrapped in fresh bandages. The missing scales would grow back. The spiky bits... he had no idea but the bet was on 'no'. Not that what he looked like mattered much anymore. Not to him at least. Like it ever did...

He tried moving the muscles that usually moved his wings. They were still there. Hurting. Burning. But not as much as when his wings were cut off. He didn't try straining them anymore. Scott's healers, as much as he hated to admit it, were probably the only ones in all empires who could rival Gem's. If not better. So he probably should listen to their advice if he wanted to stay somewhat healthy. Or to simply keep Scott off his case.

With a sigh, he walked to the window. It was locked. He didn't have to try to know. Scott would not risk it after the trouble he went through to get fWhip here. The heart of his empire. His capital. His castle... His bedroom. At least that's fWhip guessed by how comfortable - uncomfortably so to him - the room was. It certainly suits being king's bedroom more than a prisoner's. And how it could see pretty much the whole city from its windows.

And a lone shape flying away...

fWhip would always recognise the silhouette of Gem flying away. What did she want from Scott? For him to give fWhip to her? An execution? Why was Scott even in Grimlands for that day? And with a whole army at it. Grimlands was not ready for traitors but they in turn weren't ready for Scott. Where did he know their plans from? Why get involved in fWhip's mess?

With a sigh, he lay down on the bed. The healers did tell him to rest. As much as he hated to do as he was told there wasn't much else to do. Besides thinking over, and over and over again about what happened. And he did enough of that between bouts of consciousness.

And it wasn't like he had much time to think. Scott was soon back, accompanied by two maids with dainty carts covered in food, sweets and a big fresh pot of tea. fWhip would prefer something stronger at the moment but he doubted Scott or his healers would allow it in his current state. As the maids set the food on a proper table in one corner of the room, fWhip watched Scott wordlessly pick up his coat and toss it over a chair. In all honesty, it was simply hard to look at anything else with only one working eye. And looking at the ceiling was boring.

"Why drag me all the way here?" fWhip asked once the maids scurried away before Scott could start pretending he cared.

"Maybe I just wanted to annoy some people? There are certainly several individuals annoyed that I brought you to my capital. With how little I interfere aside from just having my troops stationed in Grimlands. Keeping them away," Scott almost seemed to shrug. So he'd rather not voice his actual reasons. "I hope you don't mind the tea and elven cuisine," he moved on as if nothing was wrong. fWhip could play along with that so he carefully got off the bed.

He trusted Scott enough to not suspect the elf would try to poison him. He'd be dead a long time ago if Scott wanted it. And he was really hungry. And elven cuisine was, unfortunately, very tasty so of course he was not going to turn it down. Especially if it was made by top-class elven chefs. He guessed Scott had the best of the best cooking for him and his guests. Or prisoners, in fWhip's case.

So at least part of Scott's troops was in Grimlands. Keeping it safe from traitor's hands. Bah. More like occupying it. He thought as he took in just how much food Scott had brought up here. And realised how little he had eaten since the betrayal. Most of it was forced into him by Scott. He really put a shocking amount of care and attention into keeping fWhip alive. He could have just left him under heavy guard and care of his healers. No need to involve himself until fWhip recovered. "Why were you even in Grimlands for?" he asked, tentatively grabbing some bread and looking over his options of what to have with it. He settled on salad and some meat that had to be lamb. Elves sure had a lot of sheep around...

"Little birdie told me there was trouble brewing so I set to make sure it didn't get too out of control," Scott it would seem was going to shrug everything off with a half-answer. And skip right to the cake. fWhip almost forgot Scott's love for sweets. He was always grumpy if sweet snacks were not present during WRA meetings. And it took a while for fWhip to stop having sweets on the table after Scott left. "Unfortunately they were a bit late with the warning," he added. A poor attempt at comfort.

"So you heard there might be in trouble and that helping could annoy someone," fWhip hummed between bites. Scott really had some good staff in his castle. The finest feasts fWhip ever organised didn't have food this good.

"Basically," Scott nodded slightly, before taking a sip. "You don't have to believe me, but I did think I could help as a side of being an annoyance," he added as he calmly set the teacup down. fWhip had to squash the urge to flip the table. The staff did nothing to him so he wasn't going to make a mess for them to clean.

"So, this is how you keep all your prisoners?" fWhip asked just to avoid the silence.

Scott raised an eyebrow. "No, you're not a prisoner but an important guest," he informed as if he didn't come to Grimlands with his whole damn army. "I'm only keeping you here until you've recovered and your... old allies calmed down enough."

fWhip had no idea what to say. It gave reason for how comfy he was. "So you put me in your comfiest guest room? Because I'm a guest?"

"My bedroom. Healers said to make sure the bed you're on is soft and mine's the softest in the whole castle. And to occasionally cool the bruises," Scott's matter of factly tone was really pissing fWhip off. Must he be actually right when using it? "I'm fine sleeping next door if you prefer," he added, just ten making fWhip realise that Scott might have been really, really close these past few days.

"How long have I been here?"

"Today's the fourth day. I thought you'd rather as few people come near you as possible."

fWhip appreciated it. Just Scott and the two healers he met earlier seeing him at his worse beat rotating maids and healers. Even with everything connected. Like cooling the bruising.

"Am I allowed to have a bath or will your medical staff be angry?" he asked to not overthink everything he just heard. It was a rather difficult task.

#my stuff #my stories #empires smp #fanfiction #empiresshipping #empires fwhip #empires scott #Court of Ice and Fire

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lilac-gold · 7 months

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Day 8- Omori AU Whumptober 2023

AI-less Whumptober Day 8- Electrocuted @ailesswhumptober

Fandom: OMORI Rating: Teen Word Count: 1643 Summary: Sweetheart is the goddess of love, and has been searching for a suitor for decades. When Sweetheart remains wholly unimpressed with a certain group of sisters' attempts to make her one, they decide to punish her for her rudeness. AO3 LINK

Sweetheart was the goddess of love. She embodied everything about it; its passion, its unpredictability, its strength. With just the snap of her fingers, she could make people fall in love forever. However, as time passed and she became surrounded by happy couples, Sweetheart began to wonder why she wasn’t pursued by besotted admirers too. She was beautiful, elegant and graceful while holding an air of dominance and flirtatiousness. And yet, not a single suitor attempted to court her, and it wasn’t long before Sweetheart became obsessed with finding a partner.

She passed from partner to partner easily, bewitching the humans below her. Sweetheart had no preference gender-wise, but she did have standards, and it was tricky to find someone even close to her magnificence. She spent years down on Earth in disguise, fruitlessly endeavouring to find her perfect match. Using her magic, she could make anyone fall in love with her and whisk them away to a world of immortality in the heavens– only, not a single human proved worthy.

Sweetheart mourned her torturous lack of love day and night. After four years or so, she had acquired a great many followers, each completely, hopelessly smitten with her, but Sweetheart held no interest in them. While amusing, they were hardly true contenders for her affection, and she enjoyed toying around with their devotion. A large part of love was about power, and Sweetheart held a great deal of it. Perhaps this was misuse of her gifts. Perhaps Sweetheart didn’t care.

Then, she reached a revelation. Why should she have to date mortals when there were plenty other gods living just fine above her?

Eventually, she settled on the god of art, Rococo. He wore extravagant clothes befitting of a partner she chose, objectively attractive, always a pretty picture despite his lack of self-care. His eyes were a piercing shade of gold that reminded her of ambrosia, his hair long and soft, a lovely mint green that complimented Sweetheart’s rose-coloured own nicely. He should have been perfect, quickly growing infatuated to her to almost the point of obsession, which was exactly what Sweetheart wanted. To Sweetheart, love was everything, all-encompassing devotion and admiration. Rococo shouldn’t want anything else. And yet, he remained fixated on his godly duties, his passion for art dangerously rivalling his affection for her. Sweetheart grew dissatisfied with him, betrayed and angry. She had a half mind to leave him in Tartarus, but she refrained. Instead, she left him.

Sweetheart didn’t bother removing the adoration spell she’d placed on him. He deserved to suffer for taking her for granted. Love was give and take, push and pull. He couldn’t constantly neglect her then whine when she saw other suitors. They’d pushed each other a little too hard, and Sweetheart let Rococo take the fall. Hmph. She’d never loved him anyway, she told herself with a huff.

She spent a while more searching until she found him. Spaceboy, god of astronomy. He wore a colourful cape and an eye patch befitting of the grand warrior he was, roguishly handsome even as he kept a distinct air of innocence and politeness about him. His eyes sparkled like the stars whenever they caught hers, his hair like cotton candy, sweet and soft. She’d let him fall in love with her on his own, which hadn’t taken long; Spaceboy trailed after her like a lost puppy, desperate for even the smallest scraps of affection. It was adorable, and she delightedly exchanged pet names with him as they walked through her perfect rose gardens, the two of them content and fulfilled. Their love was sugary, practically cloying in its saccharine nature. Unfortunately, just as strongly as they loved, they felt everything else. They were both stubborn, and angry, and everything built up gradually until the tension between them snapped. He left her before she could leave him, and Sweetheart was furious about it.

Spaceboy should have been everything she wanted, but he just had to ruin it all. She needed someone more… Compliant to love her. Someone less fierce, less fiery; more gentle, more malleable. Someone she could meld into the perfect suitor, someone who would live up to her every expectation just right.

Such a goal seemed impossible. Then, she met Hero, god of healing. He spent his days in long yet practical robes, working on healing and repairing what was broken. His eyes were dark, wide and expressive, his hair purple and fluffy. For all his name suggested, Hero was no fighter. He was soft-spoken and cautious, worried about making a mixtape or upsetting her upon first encountering her radiance. He wouldn’t argue with her, he’d be considerate, treating her with the respect she’d rightfully earned by that point. Hero would be the perfect partner, able to heal the cracks that had been spreading across her heart.

Then, he rejected her. Him! Rejecting her! It was preposterous, but Sweetheart knew how arduous and messy forced devotion could be from Rococo, so withheld from bewitching him. She shouldn’t have. Despite her ensuing efforts to win him over, Hero was insistent, and always managed to just evade her.

Sweetheart was still alone, miserably aligning the fates so the boring mortals could meet their soulmates. Rococo was a failure. Spaceboy had left her. Hero didn’t want her. Was it really so much to ask for someone to love her?

She breathed in, and breathed out. This was fine. She could break the cycle. She just had to find the perfect suitor. Better than Hero!

Who was better than Hero? Sweetheart pondered it for a moment, mind whirring away before it clicked. Of course! How could she have been so blind?!

The only one possibly good enough for her… Was Sweetheart herself.

Proud of her realisation, she set off to meet with three powerful goddesses; sisters, some of the most ancient around. After Humphrey, the oldest; Abbi, the wisest; and the Big Yellow Cat, the favourite, they were the first to come into existence. Molly, then Marina, then Medusa. Collectively, they controlled Earth and its components, able to change almost anything about it with as little as a nod. Molly caused their advancements in knowledge and technology, while also cursing them with idleness and indolence. Marina caused birth and death, bringing each new creature into the world while also tearing them brutally away from it. Medusa was the order and control in the world, what kept its systems ticking while also allowing destructive chaos to exist to maintain balance.

They could create, each not only a goddess, but a scientist, hungry for knowledge and success. They would certainly be capable of making replicas of her, and Sweetheart headed to their abode with excitement rushing through her veins. Soon, that wasn’t the only thing coursing through her.

Perhaps she oughtn’t have been so demanding that they obey her. Perhaps she shouldn’t have turned up her nose so impolitely at every offered result. Perhaps she should have thought of a way to repay them for their efforts first. Perhaps it wasn’t a good idea to anger three goddesses significantly more powerful than herself. Perhaps Sweetheart. Didn’t. Care.

She’d had enough. She deserved someone to love, someone who would love her back. She needed it like she needed the ambrosia that kept her alive, feeding off of devotion like a starved leech. She revelled in others’ praise and adoration, graciously bestowing her own in return. Love was Sweetheart’s everything. She had nothing left to lose.

Still, she could hardly claim that being electrocuted was a pleasant feeling. Because they’d found a way to harness the power of a storm, and she’d been restrained just as her pitiful clones had, and Sweetheart was soon trapped in a blazing storm. Love was supposed to be electrifying, but not quite like this.

She felt another hoarse scream tear from her throat as the volts shot through her, every nerve set alight. She felt the electricity vibrate within her, her skin far too hot as tears ran uncontrollably down her face. Sweetheart was supposed to be beautiful, perfect, but as she caught a glimpse of her face in the reflective glass walls around her, Sweetheart had never felt uglier.

It was everywhere, the unnatural rain drenching her skin and clothes doing nothing to stop its spread. Every one of her limbs was locked in white-hot agony, she was alone, and had managed to annoy the sisters so much that they’d chosen to use her as an experiment. Her muscles wailed, every one tense and shaking, a thousand tiny needles pricking at her skin. It was awful, agonising. Sweetheart was unloved, alone.

It wasn’t fair, she thought, a mixture of enraged and devastated. Things shouldn’t have had to come to this. Maybe she should have just stayed with Rococo, for as unhappy as they both were, at least their hearts weren’t as shattered as they were now. She’d stolen Spaceboy’s in a useless attempt to replace her broken own, only to find it equally as mutilated once they parted ways. She’d wanted Hero to fix her, expecting him to oblige with that charming smile of his, only for his stupid little siblings to get in the way as he rejected her. Deep, measured breaths, she reminded herself. It was hard to do when the air was choked out of her with every new bolt, but she kept up the rhythm to ground herself.

Nobody would be surprised, Sweetheart knew. She was famous amongst gods for her temper and stubbornness, unafraid to act impolitely and state her opinion. She was always going to end up in a situation like this someday. But she was strong, she could handle this, she’d find someone else to offer the broken shards of her heart to once she left.

After all, the sisters couldn’t keep this up forever.

…Could they?

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marumaru-writing-dump · 1 year

Text

Such inconvenient attachment.

Hualian, arranged marriage fic. Au where Xie Lian did not ascend and Hua Cheng has usurped the Yong An throne.

By me! You can also find it on Ao3 as the same fic name, I'll link it.

First chapter:

Xie Lian, known as the prince who pleased the gods, was usually represented in the whole kingdom by a soft and untainted flower in one hand, and a powerful sword in the other. Such a touching image, a perfect picture for a well meaning prince.

Loved, respected and revered by his people, and rumors went that even the most beautiful gods were jealous of him!

Graceful, considered and selfless, a prince who knew exactly where his loyalty lies, praises could be sung day and night, really!

However, Xie Lian was not praised for nothing, after all. He vowed again and again devotion for his kingdom, swore he'd do anything to be worthy of the title his father had been granted from his grandfather, and his grandfather from his great-grandfather and so on. But even after all he had to prove in the course of the years, the prince didn't think he had to marry, too, in order to help his people.

Well, maybe he should have been thinking about it, sooner or later. His father admitted that the idea was to be discussed with his advisors more often than not, but the opportunity itself never came. Of course, a marriage was not praised for undying love or caring feelings, unlike the love in the tales his mother told him as a little prince, but instead for the economic prospects that his spouse could bring to the table. And in any case, as a prince, one is always convinced that he'll have to marry one of the many noble ladies chosen by his parents. Or if one must really, marriage was perfect for alliances outside of the kingdom, with a well mannered princess or an important noblewoman.

And while Xie Lian had long ago left any resistance he had in the idea to marry a complete stranger, the suggestion of marrying the king of the kingdom who brought such suffering to his citizens did not please nor settle his heart.

Marrying the leader of the kingdom that had dismantled his own, piece by piece! The thought made him ill, truthfully.

Even so, Xie Lian knew well that the man he was going to marry wasn't the absolute center of the war that afflicted his kingdom some years ago, on the contrary, his father announced very clearly that the man entered the scene as of late.

To explain better the circumstances, Xian Le, his once all powerful and very prosperous kingdom, had never faced such a long and exhausting war as that with Yong An, the weariness of the years starting to feel on his father's face, and the starvation of the common people more obvious than ever.

But, some years after the start of the conflict, the dynamics seemed to have changed completely!

Word had come that the king who had fought his father and him, was long dead! An usurper instead had now the throne, taking control of the nation and his brand new dynasty, getting rid of the old royal court. The mysterious ruler had immediately announced the end of the war, leaving Xian Le be, even if the country was defenseless now more than ever!

Despite not being of noble blood, but rather of humble beginnings, the man had soon conquered land and elevated his country, bringing a new era of prosperity and wealth. Smoothly, he made himself room inside the hearts of his people, and why not! Even inside the hearts of near kingdoms and nobles, who seemed to have changed their attitude completely in regards to Xian Le. Xie Lian, finally understood the complete isolation his reign faced in the last few years. Even if the war was over, their lands were impoverished and without the right connections it was so hard to actually piece together the kingdom. So, when every noble and powerful clan decided to lick Yong An emperor's boots, Xian Le had to get through on his own.

The people who had fought for their daughters to be candidates as Xie Lian concubine, now spent day and night to get women who the emperor might like. Who once sent troops and armies to help Xian Le, now tried in any way to get in the emperor's good graces. All the perfect and crucial connections that his father had for years were gone in a few moments, and they were left all alone.

Of course, it was still true that since the emperor took the throne, no more land was getting stolen from Xian Le, on the contrary, all that the last king had desecrated, was returned in a few months by the emperor.

And while it was true that the emperor might not hate them like the last king, as the marriage contract sent from Yong An to his father proved, Xie Lian could not help feeling outraged.

How could he just… accept such a request?!

He knew so little of the emperor and the things he knew weren't particularly good deeds.

He was named Hua Cheng. And rumors went that exactly because born without a proper name, in the lurid alleys of a densely populated city, that he had to find himself one, once he started to make his way in the world of war.

He was certainly known for a firm hand, a menacing ability with the saber, and a powerful sharpness. Most of these were capacities that Xie Lian would have loved in a future wife, if he had been granted the privilege of being involved in the process of marriage. He would have chosen from one of the noble ladies his parents thought were a worthy choice, and at least be happy to have good company. But knowing that the good characteristics he hoped to find in a spouse were in the hands of the "heir" of the one who brought such misery to his kingdom? They suddenly didn't seem that agreeable anymore. Not to mention that he was considered susceptible to mood swings. One wrong word and off your head it goes. His allies were often wronged by him, who didn't think too much before throwing away gifts. He was petty and had a vengeful heart.

In conclusion, Xie Lian was never fond of the idea of marriage, but now he doubted the possibility of appreciating the company of such a man.

In spite of this… his father discussed for a long time the contract proposed by Hua Cheng. And while Xie Lian begged for the affair to be a bad joke or a trap of some sort, he couldn't find a single negative agreement for his father or his kingdom.

As his father put it, objectively they couldn't find a better opportunity to get back on track. They gained so much in this marriage, and they couldn't risk it. After all, it was hard for his family to even find a better arrangement, given the circumstances.

But then in the contract… Hua Cheng asks for absurd things, really. Doesn't limit himself to political decisions or agreements, like being treated like a monarch when in Xian Le, with the privileges of such social class. Instead makes a few requests that seem much more like personal pleasures or favors than a simple political act.

For example, he requests the possibility of painting a portrait of the crown prince. Or in another clause, asks for a dance with the prince at the wedding celebration. A horse ride in the gardens, some sparring…

He demands some more, but never affronts the only question Xian Lian really had the permission to ask at this point. Was he really expected to…? …You know?

Xie Lian tried to get the idea out of his head for the moment, preferring to think about how he would bear the hate the Yong An people might feel in his regards. This, opposed to his father's words, of course. His generals had previously affirmed and reassured the prince of how the Yong An war was mainly started because of the missing resources and the limited lands, along with the severe drought that their kingdom was experiencing.

So, now that their beloved emperor took such good care of their people and the land, how could they judge their Chengzhu for whoever he decided to warm his bed?

Of course, no one would bat an eye, a powerful man like him would naturally search for the company of nobles with incredible beauty, and Xie Lian was… effectively known for his divine yet strong features. And while rumors didn't picture the emperor as a good man, they certainly made him a capable lover.

Xie Lian had heard anything from how he was extremely picky with lovers, to how he never left the ones who did manage to win even a fraction of his attention to fend for themselves. Actually, he hadn't been granted to hear about how much he asked or cared for these lovers, but he knew that he didn't seem violent with them. So a little breath of relief was necessary there.

On the other hand, for his people, the king gave his word that if the emperor managed to provide and supply Xian Le, like he promised to, any harsh feeling would soon settle down. After all, food and water could really do miracles, especially if it came with a more comfortable style of living.

Xie Lian was so tired, and lost in thoughts that he had completely forgotten how he wasn't in the council room anymore, or with his father and his advisors, but instead in his rooms, with Mu Qing. He spent so much of his time that day learning about the usage and customs of Yong An that he couldn't find anything else to think about! Was he really expected to be that close to the culture there, or to be so fluent in the language? Wasn't he a simple body to warm that damn bed? He knew well that if the emperor liked him it would not be for his debating competence or for his fighting skills. He was probably expected to know how to please a man, instead. His father indeed seemed to think so.

Mu Qing seemed to snort coldly, bringing Xie Lian out of his mind and then pinch his cheek.

<<your highness. >> Called the servant, with that brief sadness in the eyes and the lips tilted back, down.

The prince cried out loud, much more dry than he liked. <<Ouch! Mu Qing!>> He looked around, and then cupped his face with one hand, while his friend shook his head. <<...have i done something wrong?>> He was sure he did not! But he asked anyway, just to be sure.

Tsk. You're thinking out loud. Mu Qing seemed to mumble, but Xie Lian was really that tired, and didn't care anymore about the slightly mean behavior of his friend.

<<What are we going to do if you continue to bite your nails that way, your highness?>>

The prince rested for a few seconds. <<Have I been doing that…?>> Granted, he didn't actually notice, so he looked down at his hands, bringed by Mu Qing's own, and saw that he effectively started with that bad habit of his again.

The prince sighed softly, and motioned briefly for Mu Qing to stop with all the ornaments and bows in his hair that the servant was trying to get out. He was worn out, and couldn't stand a single more moment awake. He could sleep with them, damn it. He knew he couldn't take anymore just with the way he squeezed his eyes shut and had to concentrate to keep them open!

But Mu Qing didn't like this attitude of his, let alone the thought of getting them out in the morning, what a nightmare. And also… didn't want his friend to sleep like that, even if he didn't favor saying it out loud.

So without even acknowledging the order, the servant got back to work, the eyes silent and the hand's movements sharp.

After a little amount of time, he spoke. <<You know… you just started biting your nails again, you should at least let me do your hair. You have to meet… him, tomorrow.>> Mu Qing took the comb in hand, but didn't say a word after his fragile attempt of calming Xie Lian. Both of them suddenly knew how bad things were, if even between them the things were already changing. A night only and things were already not the same!

Xie Lian tried to settle down at the touch, at the gentle comb movements of Mu Qing, who had experience from doing it all these years for him. But even so… he couldn't find the strength to presume that his friends and him could live like they used to. Was his husband a jealous one? Was he even allowed to think of his "servant" as a friend in front of the emperor? What was he going to do?

He sighed, laying his face in the palm of his hand, lowering himself.

<<I have truly no idea of why, of all the people he could choose to marry, he had to choose me…>> the prince murmured slowly, shaking his head.

His assistant seemed uneasy, clenching his firsts, with the comb still in hand, he looked down, with a sore frown.

<<I don't know, your highness.>>

So, he opted for an honest answer.

If only Feng Xin were with them instead of Xie Lian's father, he would already have him reprimanded for his lack of calming answers. But for Xie Lian? That surely was comforting, in a way.

He hoped that at least one person in the whole kingdom could answer truthfully, but he hadn't heard of anyone so close to Hua Cheng who was willing to illuminate him on the matter. So, hearing that he wasn't the only one who didn't know, was enough. Validating.

He just accepted the answer as it came, quieting his breathing.

And before Mu Qing could go and get the unguents used for his hair on the other side of the room, he quickly took the servant's hand, and squeezed it in a fond manner.

He knew Mu Qing was waiting on him, but he took some time, waiting for the right words to leave his mouth.

<<It is late, Mu Qing. You should get some sleep, I can manage.>> He gave a feeble smile, hoping it could help.

His assistant simply eyed him from head to toe, unsure and unamused.

Xie Lian, as to confirm his reassurances, nodded firmly.

After all, Mu Qing wasn't only his assistant on these matters, like combing, and washing him. But he was going with him and Feng Xin everywhere, at this point no one in the palace refused to see that Mu Qing wasn't a simple servant. All but his father, who was willingly sure of his closed-mind behavior and rules.

In any way, even if Mu Qing wasn't allowed in today's meetings like Feng Xin, that didn't mean he wasn't just as tired.

But before Xie Lian had the chance to continue the conversation, Mu Qing threw himself at him, hugging him! A hug from Mu Qing nonetheless!

The servant had his hands around Xie Lian's waist, with his head resting comfortably on the prince's chest, and while he must have had the intention of holding back his sobs, he wasn't being very successful at it.

Xie Lian had to admit that he was a little shocked by the gesture, as Mu Qing didn't hug anyone if it wasn't that person who hugged him first. And if the prince was going to be sincere, he would have to say that he and Feng Xin didn't hug that often, not between them, not Mu Qing. After all, they were more than adults now, gods! Xie Lian was going along with not having to marry, for his kingdom status but also for his age. And then… Mu Qing didn't cry that often, maybe when he was alone, but not in front of them, not anymore.

In other words, they were adults, and Xie Lian's father didn't like the many gestures of fondness with his mother, let alone another man. So as they grew up the hugs left the place for shakes of hands and pats on the shoulder. The cries and the starving of comfort left for honoring and respectable ways of comforting. When they were little, they hugged and kissed each other where they got hurt, as children often do, but now, they were grown ups and had too many responsibilities to get fussy about them.

Even so, immediately after the initial shock, Xie Lian reciprocated the hug, and tried his best comforting Mu Qing in his grip.

He used his sleeve to wipe his tears, and then clenched his teeth, as Xie Lian caressed his hair.

<<That bastard wasn't able to be here tonight… and i don't know how to care for you this way.>> He cried out, whispering word by word, clearly talking about Feng Xin.

He didn't say anything more, but that was enough. Xie Lian only tightened Mu Qing in the embrace, and resting his head in the crook of his friend's neck. He didn't know what else to say to him, so he hoped his physical presence could suffice.

Mu Qing on the other hand, hiccuped for a little while longer, but got the courage to say something, sniffing. <<...no one would judge you if you refused to get married.>> He affirmed harshly, getting his head up from the prince's chest. <<I… know i wouldn't. And I'm pretty sure Feng Xin would run away with us if you wanted.>>

At that, the crown prince allowed himself to soften in the embrace, with a little melancholic smile, and shook his head. <<Mu Qing…>> he called, slow. <<Don't feel bad for me, i have to do it, alright? After all, I won't be alone, father wouldn't let me go alone if I have to go with him. You'll be with me, aren't you?>>

Mu Qing simply rolled his eyes and got back to hugging the prince tightly, unsure on how to answer. He still had wet eyes and a messy face.

Xie Lian didn't want to ever let go.

That night, Feng Xin didn't arrive until late night. He wanted to console his prince, but instead found a view neither of them had seen in years. Mu Qing and Xie Lian were hugging, asleep in the prince's bed, like all three of them did when little. Feng Xin opted to sleeping on chair right beside the bed, a little fond smile on his dumb face, as Mu Qing would say.

#xie lian #hua cheng #hua chengzhu #hualian #fanfic #fanfiction #writing #writing blog #arranged marriage #originally posted on ao3 #archive of our own #ao3 #danmei #creative writing #chapter 1 #i literally never posted on here #begginer writer #not english

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bbangsoonie · 3 years

Text

good for nothing

member: juyeon genre: angst (royal au) word count: 4,635 synopsis: despite being the first born and the kingdom’s princess, you lived your whole life in the shadow of the crown prince born to a concubine. in your plot for revenge, a fool in love comes along your path. warning(s): violence

kingdom masterlist

Princess Y/n. You were the first born of the king and queen, educated beyond societal standards for girls, and incredibly beautiful. Yet, you were disregarded and looked down on since the moment you were born. Your brother, who was born to a concubine, was the crown prince and received much greater respect. The reason? You were a girl. A good-for-nothing girl as your father called you on multiple occasions.

The king was ashamed to have his first born be a daughter. He also felt threatened by your rejection of the status quo. Because of this, he grabbed every opportunity to make you submit to him.

You were exceptionally smart but no one cared to notice. Your desire to learn was ignored and you were forced to embroider butterfly patterns instead. At a young age, you realized your place. You knew your designated fate was to be a political pawn meant to be married off at a beautiful age. To protect the royal family that never considered you as one of their own, you were to marry a complete stranger one day.

However, just because you realized your place didn’t mean you accepted it. You defied the rules at every chance you saw. You remained a headache for the king, but a small enough headache to avoid his wrath.

Unbeknownst to him, you were well versed with the dirty politics of the country. Ever since you were a little girl, you would eavesdrop into the ministers’ conversations and manipulate the eunuchs to take a peak at written grievances sent to the king. You knew about the starving peasants he ignored and the bribes he received. As you grew older, you became hungry for power. When it became apparent that the king was blocking any hope for you, you were determined to take as many people down with you. You refused to suffer alone.

The king always berated you for being greedy. Greedy for education. Greedy for acknowledgement. Greedy for a life that was more than just being a good wife. He reminded you again and again that you would never have a voice in official affairs.

Every time you left his chamber after another lecture, you made sure to humiliate the embarrassment the kingdom called the crown prince. You would outshine him one way or another. Whether it be pointing out his grammar mistakes in front of the scholars or exposing his secret palace escapes to the queen, you would dampen his mood for the day. It was the only thing that gave you a speck of joy.

There was also only one thing that gave you something to look forward to. For years, you had been conspiring against the royal family. You despised the royal family and its classist, sexist, and pretentious values. You planned on getting rid of it once and for all. The kingdom deserved a leader that would rule benevolently. Slowly but surely, you gained the loyalty of several ministers. Soon enough, you would be able to execute the meticulous coup d'état.

But until then, you had to continue to be nothing but the king’s puppet. Which included meeting your fiancé. You were introduced a week ago and wedding preparations were already in full swing.

The man you would be forced to wed, Lee Juyeon, was the first son of the Chief State Councillor. You didn’t like him the moment you saw him. He was a pretty face that grew up with his father’s full love and support. He was both elegant and masculine; he was the definition of perfect and you hated it. A person had to have flaws to be likeable.

For some crazy reason you couldn’t wrap your mind around, Juyeon was infatuated with you. He visited the palace every day just to have you decline his request for a meeting. He was persistent.

Unfortunately for you, he was also crafty. He figured out that announcing his arrival to the king was an effective way to see your face. The king was delighted to see the Chief State Councillor’s son head over heels for his daughter and thus, to your annoyance, daily meetings were arranged for you two.

“Tell me, Lord Lee, what about me is worthy of your obsession?” you asked.

You were sitting at one of the gardens within the palace walls. He had insisted on the location because of its romantic beauty.

“Then tell me, Your Highness, what about me is not to your liking?” he grinned.

“Do you wish to hear the answer of the princess or the answer of Y/n?” you raised a brow, making him laugh.

“You amuse me, Princess Y/n,” he turned his head to look at the pond.

You sighed, wondering how long you had until you could return to your residence. The man next to you was oblivious to your feelings as he rambled on about the dates he wanted to take you on. He caught your attention when he mentioned sneaking you out of the palace for half a day.

“You would really risk taking me outside of the palace?” you perked up.

He was excited to see you finally engaged in the conversation and nodded profusely. He promised to set up an elaborate plan for a smooth date. Grudgingly, you accepted his offer. Your wish to see the village overwhelmed your wish to avoid your soon-to-be consort.

The next day, a court lady secretly found you to notify you of his plans. To evade the eyes of palace maids, you were to escape through a path not commonly used. She helped you scale the wall and you froze when you saw Juyeon on the other side. You sat on top of the wall and he extended his hand for support. With a tight smile, you held his hand and jumped down.

He pulled the veil over your face to keep your identity hidden, blushing when his hand slightly brushed your cheek. He hopped onto the horse and gestured for you to do the same. Hesitantly, you held his hand again to climb on.

Using the excuse of maintaining balance, he urged you to hold on tightly. You weren’t left with an option when he sped up, prompting you to instinctively hug his waist. You didn’t have to see his face to know that he was smiling like a fool.

At last, you finally arrived at the village. Fascinated at the change in environment, you looked like a child surrounded by toys. Chuckling, Juyeon admired the view in front of him. In his eyes, you were prettier than any flower and sweeter than any candy. Feeling his gaze on you, you cleared your throat and began walking.

There was so much to look at. He caught you staring at the rows of yeot and purchased the confectionery without you asking. You immediately popped one into your mouth and he laughed when your cheeks expanded to resemble a squirrel.

“Are you teasing me?” you frowned.

“No, I am appreciating your adorable and lovely appearance,” he answered as he handed you the bag holding the rest of the yeot. His words didn’t fluster you. You simply rolled your eyes and resumed walking.

His long legs were quick to catch up with you. Enjoying your presence, he watched as you fawned over little trinkets. It was a new side of you that he had never seen.

Stopping at an accessory shop, you scanned the norigaes displayed on the table. One of them caught your eye and you held it up for a closer look. It was a beautiful pale pink color that perfectly matched your current hanbok.

“It seems a norigae is better at capturing your heart than I am,” Juyeon pouted.

“Perhaps it is prettier than you,” you shrugged.

“Is this an implication that I am pretty? To a certain extent?” he beamed.

“How do my words become that?” you exclaimed.

With another laugh, he took the accessory from your grasp and went to pay for it. You blinked at the sudden sight of his back, noticing for the first time how broad his shoulders were. When he came back to your side, he held the norigae in front of you but pulled it back when you reached out for it. He pointed at the bag of yeot and opened his mouth. Baffled, you turned around to walk away.

He caught your wrist and spun you back around. He bent down and your face stopped an inch away from his. His usual shy self was gone and he had a confident smirk on his lips.

“Does your heart not sway even at a close distance like this?” he asked. This time, he caught you off guard. When you finally came back to your senses, you hurriedly shoved a piece of yeot into his mouth and stormed off.

“Y/n, you make me laugh too hard and too much!” you heard his voice call out, making you blush crimson with embarrassment.

With your upcoming wedding looming over your head, it became increasingly difficult to communicate with the ministers. There were too many eyes to be wary of. Juyeon, of course, was one of them.

As you spent more time with him, you realized how sentimental he was. He brought you small, meaningful gifts and loved to tell you about the meanings behind each flower.

“Did you know that the plum blossom is one of the indications of spring's arrival?” he asked one day. “They can bloom as early as late March.”

“I think it is quite obvious that it is spring,” you commented, pointing at the variety of flowers surrounding you.

“My personal favorite flower is the rose of sharon,” he continued. “It is nicknamed the “immortal flower” and means “eternal blossom that never fades” because of its resilience. It regrows despite harsh conditions and even after it is damaged. Amazing, isn’t it?”

You hummed, looking for the flower he was talking about.

“I used to hope that our kingdom would take after the flower. We have survived through many tragedies and I hope that we will survive through anything else that tries to beat us down,” his words pricked you for some reason. Would your rebellion be seen as a tragedy or as a heroic deed?

“Now, I like to think that our love will be like the rose of sharon. My love for you will never fade and I will continue to pine after you despite your harsh words. Even if you hurt me, my feelings will transcend time,” he smiled. “The flower does not bloom until July. My wish is to go see them with you. Would you bless me with your presence when the time comes?”

You observed his lovestruck expression and couldn’t bring yourself to say no. Again, you were at a loss trying to understand why he was so besotted with you. His childlike innocence was almost pure to a fault in a place like the palace.

“I shall consider it if you teach me how to swing a sword,” you proposed.

He couldn’t hide both his shock and happiness. He was confused as to why you wanted to ever hold a weapon but glad that you were slowly opening up to him. Without a second thought, he agreed to your proposition.

Juyeon was full of bliss at the thought of spending more time with you. Teaching you swordsmanship would allow him to be intimate with you and he was thrilled. At your first secret lesson, his heart raced at your proximity as he guided your hands on how to properly wield the blade.

A week passed by and you quickly improved each day. Eventually, you became skilled enough to land a fake jab. Seeing your proud smile, he grinned as well.

“I guess I should be on edge now. If I annoy my princess one too many times, my life will literally be at your hands,” he joked.

“Do you regret training me?” you smirked.

“Ah, was this all a part of your plan?” he pretended to gasp. “Either to kill me off or to threaten me to obedience?”

Not finding his joke funny, you blankly stared at him. Noticing the sudden chill in the atmosphere, he awkwardly laughed.

“Do not worry, Your Highness. I will always do as you say. You do not need a sword to make me behave.” he smiled.

You hated to admit it but he had grown on you. His constant attempts to tear down your wall had finally made a crack. You had to stop before he became your weakness.

For the first time in a while, you were summoned to the king’s chamber. Expecting another reprimand, you dreaded the walk there. To your surprise, however, you were greeted with a smile he hadn’t given you in years. It kind of freaked you out.

“You called for me, Your Majesty?” you bowed.

“I hear you have been getting along wonderfully with the Chief State Councillor’s son. Finally, you are fulfilling your duty as this kingdom’s princess,” he commended.

What a back-handed compliment. You wanted to roll your eyes at his passive aggressiveness. Holding back your urges, you politely smiled instead.

“I just wanted to let you know that I will be in a hurry to complete your wedding. I need the Chief State Councillor’s support to find a suitable wife for the crown prince,” he announced.

“Is my marriage merely a way for the crown prince to find a wife with a powerful family?” you shot back.

Your question turned the mood scarily sour. You felt his anger rise as he chastised you for your impudence and disrespect.

“The crown prince is the future leader of our kingdom. He is more than deserving of the immense care, thought, and effort that goes into picking his consort. His consort will be this kingdom’s queen and will be the one to bear the next king. You are nothing but a useless girl who will belong to a different family.”

“I am still a member of the royal family, am I not?”

“You are just a good-for-nothing girl that will leave this palace soon,” he spat. “Now leave. You are dismissed.”

On your way out, you ran into the crown prince who looked at you in a way you found to be offensive. You paused your steps and turned around.

“I wish you fertility, Crown Prince. After all, the kingdom relies on your performance to produce an heir to the throne,” you said, lacing your words with venom. “I would imagine you would hate having to adopt a nephew.”

You could tell you had gotten under his skin yet again and left satisfied. You loathed and condemned your family with a burning passion. You couldn’t wait for the day it would all come to a bitter end.

While you were brooding, you didn’t notice Juyeon sneaking up on you. When you finally saw him, you nearly jumped. Your hand reached out to cover your heart, trying to calm it down. Sheepishly, he apologized for startling you.

Trying to keep you from walking away from him, he held onto the hem of your sleeve. Your heart softened at the gentle manner he treated you with. Ignoring your instincts, you let him cling onto you. Instead of making you turn around to face him, he walked in front of you.

“Will you accompany me to the garden today as well?” he asked earnestly.

Knowing that the court ladies were watching, you reluctantly accepted his invitation once again. This time, he surprised you with a bag filled with yeot. He looked so proud of himself for remembering your love for the sweet treat that it made you laugh. As a reward, he grabbed a piece for himself. Unaware of the smudge it left on the corner of his lips, he was conscious of your gaze and tried to look attractive.

“Worry not, Your Highness. You will get to look at this face every day and every night once we marry,” he assured.

Despite his wise exterior, he had a goofy side to him. He was pure and innocent—everything you weren’t. You could see why the king favored him so much.

“I do not understand why you are so eager to become my consort,” you suddenly blurted. “You know that it is just a flashy title that does not award you with much privileges. It is an empty position; you cannot hold office without a special order from the king. Do you simply see yourself as a stepping stone for your father to bring honor to your family?”

“Is my love for you an acceptable response?” he asked after some thought.

“Is it truly worth your dangerous status as the princess’s husband and king’s son-in-law? The royal family has many enemies,” you warned.

“I will be the one to protect you from such enemies,” he declared.

Was he naive or has his affection for you blinded him?

“Princess Y/n,” he said solemnly as he held your hand. “I promise to love and protect you for as long as my heart beats. No, even after it ceases to beat, I will still yearn for you. I will not demand or expect you to do the same. Even if your feelings for me are not as strong as my feelings for you, I will not blame you. But will you please give me the chance to try to win you over?”

His confession triggered an alarm in your head. He was never supposed to fall for you this hard and you were never supposed to allow him to. He had no idea how cunning and conniving you really were. Only the people in the palace knew how cold-hearted you could be. You had to be in order to survive.

You refused to give him a reply and pulled your hand away. His face fell but he forced himself to smile again. In an attempt to break the tension, he made a random comment on the weather.

After you two parted, you decided to speed things up to initiate the revolt. Once you joined hands in marriage, Juyeon would inevitably end up a target as well. If you wanted to spare him, you needed to overthrow the corrupted royal family before he became a part of it.

It was officially the day before the insurrection. To be honest, you weren’t really nervous. This was what you had been anticipating your entire life.

Yet why did you have a moment of weakness when you saw Juyeon that afternoon? He approached you with that boyish smile that did wonders to your normally rational mind. Feeling what you believed was pity, you wanted to leave him with a pleasant memory.

So you ended up convincing him to sneak you out of the palace again. This time, you were a lot more enthusiastic. You wanted to try all the pastries and insisted that he taste them too.

“You seemed to have a lot on your mind these days,” he carefully pointed out. “Has the problem that has been bothering you been resolved now?”

“It will soon,” you eluded.

You stared at the man in front of you, observing his features. He was, without a doubt, good looking. You could see why all the court ladies, palace maids, and girls of the village were so smitten with him. But you still didn’t get why he chose you to fawn over. Maybe it was because of the lack of affection you grew up with but something about having someone care for you was unsettling.

You had suitors court you before but none of them were as devoted as Juyeon. He always came off as genuine. Perhaps his sincerity was what made you lower your guard.

“I promise to lavish you with such outings if that is what makes you happy,” he proclaimed, almost making you laugh.

“Why do you make so many vows?” you inquired.

“I am a man who keeps his word and you are the only one I give it to,” he grinned. You wondered how happy he had to be to smile so often. You rarely had reasons to be smiling.

He glanced down at the table and examined the rows of binyeos. Holding one up, he held the hair pin against your hair.

“May I gift you this binyeo?” he asked.

You pursed your lips, feeling just a tad bit of guilt. You were used to being showered with extravagance but with Juyeon, it was different. There was an emotional value attached to each present.

“Only if you promise me one other thing,” you negotiated.

“Of course. I will do anything you ask of me,” he responded.

“Promise me that you will not visit the palace tomorrow,” you said sternly. He looked at you with curiosity.

“Tomorrow is… a day of mourning for me. I do not wish to see you until the day after,” you lied.

“This is the first time you have expressed your desire to see me,” he lit up at your last sentence. “I will prepare a magnificent date for when I see you over-morrow.”

You almost felt sorry for his naiveté. And you almost—just almost—felt sorry for deceiving him.

The fateful day arrived at last. You stood, taking one last glimpse at your reflection. Subconsciously, your hand reached out to touch the binyeo in your hair.

The roars of the royal guards and the clanks of combat rumbled throughout the palace. With a determined look, you left your chamber. The sword in your clenched fist dragged across the ground as you made your way to the throne hall.

When you finally busted through the door, the king sat as if he had been waiting for you.

“I should have known that this was your doing,” he scowled. “Was your luxurious life as a princess not enough for you? Could you not fight the temptation of avarice?”

“Nothing about my life was ever comfortable,” you corrected. “I always had to play along to match your mood in order to avoid being married off to an old man just out of your spite. You tried to drill your toxic mentality in me because my individuality terrified you. You made it a point to constantly tear me down. So I made it a point to see your demise.”

“You have always been this sly ever since you were a little girl. I knew I would regret your birth the moment I saw your eyes. And I was right. You are nothing but a vile bitch.”

“For the longest time, I thought I was deserving of your hatred. But I came to the realization that you simply belittled me just for being a girl. Do not forget, Your Majesty, that the womb inside me is the same as the one that bore you the crown prince.”

Mockingly, you approached the throne. It was incredible how that one seat gave its owner immense power.

“Speaking of which, why is it that only men carry on the family name?” you questioned. “Do you not realize that women are the ones who carry on the precious bloodline you always speak of? It is the body of women that conceive and grow another human inside them. It is the body of women that suffer through labor to deliver you children and nurture them to good health. The only thing you do is spread your seeds like a fruit. And then blame women for your own infertility.”

“All throughout history, it has been men who carried on the royal bloodline. What makes you think that you are worthy of special treatment?”

“Bloodline, bloodline, bloodline,” you rolled your eyes in irritation. “Do not fool yourself. It is not blood you care about but name. Men may carry on the nameline but we are the ones who give you the royal blood pumping in your veins.”

You sloppily lifted the sword to the king’s neck, smirking.

“I knew you would be the one to bring my downfall,” he glared.

“Well, how does it feel to have all your fears come true, my king?” you taunted. “You were always afraid that I would either surpass you or ruin you. Now, I will be the one to end this damned bloodline. This good-for-nothing girl will take back the royal blood that was given to you by a woman.”

With that, you slashed his neck. Blood splattered across the wall and on your face. You grimaced, wiping away the warm liquid. You were surprisingly calm in front of such a gruesome sight. That was, until Juyeon came bursting through the door.

After he had parted from you the day before, he could not get you out of his mind. Something about your eyes had been melancholic. Your words sounded like a foreshadow and it left him feeling disturbed. So he broke his promise and went to the palace to see you again. He was alarmed to see the chaos ensuing and immediately searched for you. However, he never expected the situation he stumbled into.

“P-Princess Y/n,” he stuttered, making you aim the weapon at yourself. You never intended or wanted him to witness this.

“Do not come any closer,” you warned.

“Your Highness, please. Put the sword down,” he begged.

“I cannot,” you gulped. “This is how it must end.”

“We-we can run away. Together. We can leave everything behind and I will keep you safe,” he said as he tried his best to stay calm.

You wanted to both laugh and cry. Your life was a suicidal mission. You knew from the beginning that you would not be able to survive. If you failed, you would be executed for treason. If you succeeded, you would be executed to officially end the royal bloodline.

You had to admit, you slightly wavered at one point. Juyeon’s promise to make you happy was enticing. To someone who never strayed close to emotions before, he was like a miracle. He made you feel all sorts of things that you were glad to have experienced.

“I apologize, Lord Lee,” you sadly smiled before you stabbed the blade into your stomach.

“No!” he screamed as he ran to your side.

You slowly fell to the ground with Juyeon’s arms wrapped around your body. His hands shook above the wound as he cried, knowing that he couldn’t take it out without ensuring your death. He never thought that what he taught you would be used against yourself. If he had known that this was what you planned on using your skills for, he never would have taken your offer.

“I am afraid I will not be able to go see the rose of sharons with you,” you said as a tear escaped your eyes.

Your vision began to cloud and you felt the life in you leave with every breath you took. You didn’t even realize that your hand was gripping his clothes, crinkling it. Another tear rolled down your cheek as your head fell back, your neck unable to support it any longer.

He desperately clung onto you, holding your head in his bloodied hands.

“I will bring the flowers to you,” he affirmed.

“Another promise,” you chuckled.

“This one I will be sure to keep,” he stated as his own tears fell to your face.

Next to the weapon embedded in you was the norigae he bought you the first time you escaped the palace together. He looked up to see that you were wearing the binyeo he bought you as well. He sobbed, holding onto you tighter.

“I hope to be reborn as a rose of sharon. That way, I can come see you every spring,” you whispered before you closed your eyes for the last time.

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animeyanderelover · 3 years

Text

Yandere Aoba Johsai Hc’s

Tōru Oikawa (Aged Up)

👑Oikawa, the great king of the court, loved by all girls and everyone’s dream boy. He could sweep everyone off their feet and have really whoever he wants as a partner. And he chose you. So how is he? He is clingy, delusional, lovestruck and a worshipper. His delusions work rather simple. Not only has he no idea that his feelings are wrong, but he knows that he looks good, has the body and the charm. He sees other people as simply not worthy dating his darling. That spot should go to him. And that guy is nothing, but suffocating with his amount of physical affection and praises. He is seriously that type of person who would hop with you into the shower just to spend more time with you. He’s had a lot of girlfriends and maybe even boyfriends before. But no one managed to make him feel the way his darling makes him feel and for that reason he treasures and worships his darling like nothing else. He isn’t desperate, it could be more described as being very needy for his darling’s attention and physical contact with them.

👑He’s also possessive, obsessive and manipulative. Oikawa saw his darling as his the moment he knew he loved them and for that wants to know everything they know about themself and even things they don’t know, habits that they unconsciously do for example. Manipulating works for him in form of guilttripping and he tends to exaggerate things. He also has the talent of working really well together with people, whether they like him or not. He can despite his clingyness still be counted as a stalker because there are moments where he can’t be with his darling and these are moments he despises the most. If that happens he chooses to stalk whatever social media account they might have. Not like he doesn’t have tons of other photos saved about you and him on his photo, most of them were most likely forced.

👑That guy hates it when his darling pays attention to something or someone who isn’t him. He even gets jealous when his darling pays for a short moment more attention to their phone than to him and whatever object or whoever stole their attention away, he’ll push it away and will definitely try to gain the attention back onto him by suddenly forcing even more affection than usual on his s/o. There are two kind of jealousies with him. The childish and the scary one. The childish jealousy is always exposed when it’s either an object, the darling’s or his family or Iwaizumi who keep his s/o’s attention away from him. People he trusts. In this case Oikawa will pout and grab the attention back by suddenly showering you in kisses or suffocating you in a hug. The scary kind of jealousy is shown to everyone else, including friends and teammates. He’ll still look on the first glance like his normal cheerful self. But if you look closer you’ll see how he tries to tug his darling away and how forced his words and facial expression look. And the moment he’s sure his darling won’t notice it he’ll give the other person this glare. This scary and dark look in his eyes that will cause everyone to shiver.

👑He gets along well with others, almost a bit too well. And he’s almost sadistic with his way of punishing everyone who gets on his bad side. Oh, he’ll make that bitches/bastards cry. Especially his fangirls might get often on his bad side since they often bully his darling and push them to break up with him. He caught one of them one time before pouring water over his darling’s head. He didn’t say anything, focusing at first on helping his poor and suffering darling. But his brain was already working on how to crush that girl. She ended up leaving the school due to “unknown” reasons. He’ll bully, threaten and blackmail everyone behind the scenes and no one will suspect him. He’s way too good with it. I do see him as someone who can make the other person’s life hell enough so that they might commit suicide on their own.

👑As someone who thinks he’s the perfect fit for his darling, it’s only natural for Oikawa to assume that the two of them will later on move in together and protesting won’t work. It’ll just fall on deaf ears. And even if he would kidnap his darling, he won’t see it that way. What’s so wrong with wanting to be near the person you love more than anything? Doesn’t love make it right?

👑It happens more than just once that Iwaizumi has to grab him by the collar and drag him away from you so you have some space to breathe. That guy is a show-off and expects you to go to every single match of his. He would rush after every set to you to smother you and maybe even get some affection himself which would motivate him greatly. He always makes time and it happens every once in a while that he even skips practice simply because his huge need to be with you will get the better of him. So at one point you’ll have to be even there when they practice, Oikawa probably encouraging you to become a manager. If you don’t at one point the whole team will have to beg because they all know that without you, Oikawa isn’t 120% focused. He had a lot of partners before, but the huge difference between them and you is that they all just kind of existed next to him. But with you it’s different. Oikawa shows you off to everyone and spoils on a almost daily base the living shit out of you with small presents he know you’ll like.

Issei Matsukawa (Aged Up)

🟨Matsukawa is the aware and stalkerish kind of Yandere. There are aware Yanderes who don’t care for their feelings and aware Yanderes who are ashamed and act more accordingly to that feeling of embarrassment. Matsukawa is embarrassed of those feelings and goes more with the role of the silent protector in the shadows since he’s also overprotective.

🟨Also the manipulative kind of Yandere. He’s more subtle about the way he uses his manipulations, only resorting to it when something bothers or annoys him. He has a playful type of teasing, not offending or insulting his s/o. But more mentioning something that will get them to think about it and hopefully leading them to doing as he hoped they would.

🟨He’s very easygoing and doesn’t mind it when other people hang around his darling. He’s reasonable and doesn’t want his darling to be a complete loner. He’s fine with a lot of things and has a nice amount of patience. As long as someone doesn’t become touchy or flirty with his darling and ignores the way he keeps being direct about that they’re already taken then nothing should be wrong. If he does get jealous then he still has his height and come over as quite intimidating if he wants too.

🟨Matsukawa is a more forgiving Yandere despite his protective tendencies. He doesn’t throw a fit over every small thing and wouldn’t downright frighten and terrify every person in his darling’s life. If someone does manage to tick him off he would at first go with warnings to stay away from his darling which are hopefully enough.

🟨Kidnapping is nowhere noted in his future plans and he tells himself that he’ll never do this to his darling. As a Yandere he’s able to keep his feelings better under control and is able to have a more or less very normal relationship. He keeps a cool head in most situations and isn’t someone who thinks that you’re that careless to bring yourself into troubles (hopefully). But he does want you to move in with you and whilst not being very pushy with it, if you keep refusing he will at one point get irritated.

🟨Matsukawa is a really chill one, a good thing to have in a Yandere. He’s easy-going and open minded for many things, including new friends, hobbies, things you enjoy doing. In private he’s actually quite a tease who likes poking a bit fun at you, not to upset you, just so you get a bit annoyed. He finds it a bit cute, but would stop there to not make you angry. When it comes to the topic volleyball he doesn’t care if you watch him or not. You don’t have to be interested in the same things he is, even though he would like it if you would support and cheer him on during games.

Takahiro Hanamaki (Aged Up)

✌️Hanamaki is the aware and obsessive Yandere. He’s very perceptive and good in sorting out his own feelings so he’ll notice very quickly that his feelings aren’t normal in the least bit. He most likely didn’t expect to feel that way, sparking curiosity inside of him and making him wonder why he feels that way for his darling. It’ll lead him to the point where he’ll want to find out more about them in hopes of answers.

✌️It was seen that he’s good in reading the game. That and the fact that he’s very observant will eventually lead him to start becoming a manipulative type of Yandere. But luckily he’s very calm and keeps a firm grasp on his emotions so he won’t be too extreme with it. He’s also more on the stalker side. He doesn’t really know how to first approach his darling with such feelings inside of him and decides to wait for now and watch.

✌️He’s collected and that will be visible by the way he lets his s/o freely interact with nearly anyone. He is someone who also has trust in his darling. But for him borders are crossed when he sees how some idiot keeps on flirting with you despite you telling that you’re already in a relationship. That’s the moment he’ll interfere. Hanamaki isn’t a man of many words and will keep it short before grabbing your hand and dragging you away from the person.

✌️He snaps rarely, he has good self-control and is very collected and patient most of the time. So the moment someone makes him wanting to kill that person, they’re finished for. Someone has to do something really bad for him to decide that this person has to die since he really doesn’t want to do this. But once he’s decided to finish someone off, he won’t stop until it’s over.

✌️Can someone please change the topic? He’s uncomfortable with this. He doesn’t see the point of this. Why would he need to kidnap his darling? It isn’t like they can’t take care of themself. Also, he knows that he’s more than able to convince them willingly in as long as he doesn’t slip up with his act and keeps the “quiet boyfriend” act.

✌️He’s most of the time rather quiet, making up for it with more quality time. But I’m comparison to other people he’s more vocal with you than with many others, including his team members. He gives you a lot of freedom and trusts you to be able to take care of yourself when he isn’t with you. He still possesses a sense of humor though and can fire up quite the comments if he wants too when he’s in the right mood.

Hajime Iwaizumi (Aged Up)

🤎Iwaizumi is the aware and possessive Yandere. Different from his “head-up-in-the-clouds” friend Oikawa, he realizes the true impact of those emotions. But he’s still on the possessive side. He can’t explain why he feels this way, but he just wants his darling for himself most of the time. And Oikawa makes this situation not better. He’s constantly flirting with Iwaizumi’s s/o, simply because he wants to annoy his friend a bit and also because he’s in general very interested in them. All the teasing and flirting doesn’t help his possessive tendencies, if all they only fire them up.

🤎Iwaizumi is also overprotective and manipulative. He really tries to tell himself that there’s nothing to worry about and that his darling is able to protect themself, but there will always be this nagging suspicion in the back of his head that there could always happen something and he might not be there, adding also the trait clingy. He’s reliable and very caring when it comes to you, always giving you advices when noticing that you struggle with something or look like you overwork yourself. He’s also the lovestruck one and most likely gets teased by Oikawa because of this.

🤎He respects private space and has faith in his darling. The problem are the other people. Now don’t misunderstand him, he really bites his tongue to let his s/o live their own life as well. But he gets annoyed rather quickly, noticeable by the look on his face. Overprotectiveness and possessiveness aren’t exactly the best mix and the moment he’s had enough, he’s had enough. At least he’s polite enough to the other persons when suddenly tugging his darling away. That doesn’t count for those who flirted a bit too obvious with you or even touched you. Those kind of people are exactly the scum Iwaizumi wants to protect you from and in this case he’ll drop his polite act and be much more intimidating.

🤎He’s strong and despite trying to keep himself under control, the moment someone hurts his s/o he’s ready to inflict pain onto the other person. He is ready to punch someone’s face and break a nose if he has to. But he doesn’t kill that person then, leaving it by this and warning them with a dangerous undertone to stay away. Because the next time he won’t be as forgiving.

🤎He wants and needs his s/o with him all the time and it isn’t only his possessiveness talking out of him right now. But he would simply worry himself to death if he shouldn’t be near you all the time. He can be very stubborn if he wants to be and would insist on you two moving in later on together. You don’t really have a say regarding this matter and if you keep insisting on wanting to live alone or trying to distance yourself from him, Iwaizumi feels like he has to act.

🤎Iwaizumi is incredibly soft when it comes to you, not really hiding the fact that he’s a sucker for you. Many people think that you’re pretty lucky to have him as your boyfriend since he always keeps a sharp eye on your well-being. He can get stricter if he wants to, but only if he sees that you don’t take enough care of yourself and will step in to take care of it himself if he has to. Don’t tell anyone, but he actually likes taking care of you, it makes him feel good to know that he’s capable of treating you like a royalty. By the way, Oikawa will tick him even more off than usual because he constantly wants to meet you and spend time with you, sometimes even joking that he might just try to steal you away from him. He shouldn’t be surprised if a ball hits him only seconds later there where the sun doesn’t shine.

Shigeru Yahaba (Aged Up)

✨Yahaba is a lovestruck and clingy Yandere. He pinned after quite a lot of girls before, but the moment his obsession with his darling started, he stopped looking at anyone else, just paying attention to his s/o. In his eyes his darling is the most beautiful person ever and I can see him as a somewhat more dirty guy, similar to Nishinoya. He always trails behind his darling and is very keen with physical affection and not all of it has to be that innocent.

✨He’s also obsessive and possessive. His s/o is pretty, no doubt about it. But that sadly also means that they’re bound to get attention from other persons as well. And that’s a no for Yahaba. He’s claimed you as his and you’ll stay as his for the rest of your both lifes. That guy is also a creeper, wanting to know everything down to your dirtiest secrets. Whilst having most of the time nothing against being the more shallow guy, he would like that his darling sees him as more, giving him from time to time more desperate tendencies.

✨He’s normally a very carefree dude, but he’s terribly jealous of other persons when they’re getting to spend time with his darling when he doesn’t. He just feels like everyone is his competition when it comes to his darling, increasing his possessiveness only more. He’s always rather quick to act on his jealousy, glaring at the other person whilst grumbling something about needing to go somewhere with his darling. He’ll always search for an excuse to why his s/o suddenly has to come with him.

✨His interaction with Kyōtani also made it clear that he’s ready to be more forceful if he has to be. He can get more aggressive rather easily if his right buttons are pushed and when someone keeps trying to take his darling away from him. In such situations he just gets more agitated.

✨The chances of him kidnapping his a/o are in comparison to some others on this list rather high. Whilst not being a very insecure one from nature, he gets anxious the moment he has the feeling that you distance yourself from him or that someone else has a very good chance of stealing you away from him.

✨He’s a rather immature guy to have from the way he’s acting, but his team will be surprised from the way he’s being sincere with you. He used to obsess every week over a new hot girl, but that all suddenly stopped and now he’s only focused on you. Yahaba knows this as well and will make it very clear that the only person he wants is you. But he can be pretty annoying with how dirty he can be sometimes and you might just have to smack him more than once on his head so that he hopefully stops. He’s also a small show-off and the type who likes bragging about himself to impress you.

Shinji Watari (Aged Up)

🔹He was the hardest to grasp, but I do like a challenge so let’s see. Watari is the aware and overprotective Yandere. He knows too well of the unhealthiness of his feelings, doing his best to not let them be visible too much. He’s a very gentle soul and when it comes to his darling he has a very fragile heart so do him the favor and don’t do anything stupid, okay?

🔹He’s also a lovestruck Yandere. He has as mentioned a very delicate heart when it comes to his s/o and is in general a very soft one when it comes to them. On the obsessive side, not that terrible like many others, but there are certain things he wants and should know as your boyfriend. But he respects it if you want to keep some things a secret for a bit longer, hoping that you’ll trust him one day enough to tell him everything.

🔹Watari admits that it bothers him to some extent greatly when other people are talking a bit too closely with his darling. On the other hand he’s also this kind of Yandere who wants his darling to not be completely alone and also keeps reminding himself that his darling has a life too. He would most likely step in if he notices that his darling seems uncomfortable or he notices that the other person has other intentions than just having a friendly talk with his darling. Excuse him, they’re taken.

🔹I don’t see him as a very messy or violent one. He is able to overlook people’s mistakes and encourage them to do better in the future. But every Yandere has a snapping point where they’re ready to become more vicious and that counts for him as well. He’s a good-hearted person so don’t mess it up with him.

🔹He’s one of the most hesitating to kidnap his darling, sincerely wanting to have just a normal life with them. His limits of snapping are very extended, meaning he won’t be shaken very easily. But he does have nerves made out of glass when his s/o gets in trouble, instantly rushing over to see if they’re alright.

🔹A relative tame Yandere to have since he’s very good-natured and supportive of your dreams. A interesting thing about Watari is that he likes when he’s being challenged by you in whatever that might be, cooking, sprinting or other things. So your relationship would include a lot of competitions over the most ridiculous things. At least both of you have always something to laugh about.

Yūtarō Kindaichi (Aged Up)

🟩Kindaichi is the overprotective and desperate Yandere. Despite having tried to act like he hated Kageyama for how he acted to everyone back in middle school, he still feels like it left some sort of impact on him and affects him til this day. This leads him to feeling responsible every time he and his darling get into an argument where he’ll back quickly down when he remembers this incident. Deeply affected by this led him also to becoming very overprotective over his darling, feeling like he has to defend them against whoever says something against them.

🟩He’s also on the lovestruck side. His s/o provides him with security and a feeling of belonging which he never really felt to that extent before. He’s also an obsessive one who doesn’t show this tendencies too often because he also possesses the trait aware.

🟩Kindaichi is not the worst, but also not the best when it comes to holding his jealousy back. He’s somewhere in the middle of it, being able to hold back for a while before storming over to express his frustration to the other person. But do you remember what I said about him backing down because he wants to avoid arguments? If his darling shoots him a warning glare he’ll suddenly freeze and hesitation will start swirling up in him, gaining his s/o a few more minutes before he finally makes up his mind and walks over.

🟩He wouldn’t resort to killing over every small thing, being ready to find another solution to the problem. But just like everyone else he has a breaking point where he’ll lose it.

🟩Kindaichi won’t force you to live with him until you’re feeling comfortable enough, ready to listen why you’re still hesitating. Similar to Watari a lot needs to happen for him to start thinking that kidnapping would be the best way to keep his s/o safe since he knows that his overprotectiveness can sometimes be just really unnecessary. His darling is more than capable to look after themself in most aspects of their life.

🟩Kindaichi is very open-minded and is also surprisingly accepting if you tell him that you don’t feel comfortable with the way he’s acting, ready to try to change his behavior a bit so you don’t have to feel uncomfortable around him. But a negative thing about him would be that he simply doesn’t have the bones to go against you unless you’re really about to do something stupid. It doesn’t sound that bad at first, but it can be somewhat annoying when he always backs off whenever he realizes you’re about to start an argument. That’s how deep the experience with Kageyama affected him.

Akira Kunimi (Aged Up)

🥱Kunimi is the aware Yandere. He knows that his feelings are completely wrong, but he doesn’t mind all that much. As long as he keeps himself in check he doesn’t see the problem. He might not look like it, but Kunimi is actually really smart giving him also the manipulative trait. His just so indifferent behavior is a very good mask and no one will really suspect what’s going on inside of him. You neither. He’s also obsessive and will always observe his darling to pick everything up.

🥱He might be more lazy so the fact clingy might come as a surprise to some people. Here’s a little secret. He’s less lazy when it comes to his darling, connected with his overprotective tendencies. He feels much more at ease when he’s near his s/o and is also a stalker kind of Yandere from time to time. He would follow his darling through the school hall and trail always a few meters behind them. And he makes it look too casual.

🥱Remember what I said about him being more passionate when it comes to you? Here’s one example of it. He becomes rather quickly jealous. It’s honestly a bit annoying for him that he always feels like barfing when seeing other people near his darling. At first he might not interrupt, wanting to watch first before acting. But the more he watches, the more he gets annoyed and will tell the other persons only moments later to go away, his normally indifferent face being a bit scrunched up in annoyance.

🥱His strength is saving his energy and then smash his opponent when they’re all tired out. He uses this method when he wants to finish someone off, starting with the most simple thing. Mindbreaking. Most people tend to underestimate him, not getting how dangerous he really can be because he has intelligence and plays the long game, proving patience. It’ll start slowly with small offensive comments until it went beyond the borderline of bullying. And the fact that he doesn’t let himself get provoked and just gives his victim this apathetic look is even more annoying. It’ll make everyone at one point crazy and that’s what Kunimi has been waiting for.

🥱That would be pretty bothersome for him to do this, but his darling is his only true passion so he will very damn do it if he thinks he has no other choice. Whilst trying to reason with his darling at first if a problem should occur and solve it the normal way, if he realizes that they are determined to either do something that might bring them into danger or will damage their relationship, he’s ready to lock them away and hoping that he can talk them out of it.

🥱He might not look all that dangerous at first, but he deserves far more credit than many people would give him. His biggest weapon is that he’s always ready to play the long game and since he never uses his full power at first, people tend to underestimate him. And that’s their mistake. He saves his energy wisely and the moment he notices that his enemy has nearly used all of theirs is the moment where he’ll strike. You yourself will not even realize at first how manipulative he really is with you, often directing you with his words in the right direction without you realizing it. On the other try to see it like this. The fact that he’s so much more energetic when it comes to you is a very big sign of how much he really loves you.

Kentarō Kyōtani (Aged Up)

🌪That guy would actually make a quite terrible Yandere if you think about it. BUT I didn’t want to make any sadistic or brutal Yanderes in this fandom so let’s look at it from another side, shall we? Kyōtani is a possessive and overprotective Yandere. I think the trait possessive can’t be avoided with this guy here, he’s extremely territorial. But he’s also a hella overprotective dude. He isn’t the best with interacting with others, probably making the one or other person who wants revenge. And since everyone is too scared to mess with him, they might get the idea of trying to take revenge by bullying you which is a terrible idea, but more to this later. So he would somewhat become his darling’s personal guard dog.

🌪As weird as it may sound, he’s also a lovestruck one? There are only a few people he listens too, Iwaizumi and Yahaba for example. But the one and only person who he listens always to and never acts that harsch to will always be his darling. Even the permanent frown on his face will be gone when he’s with them.

🌪Yeah, if you care for your health then stay the hell away because he’s really hot-tempered. I do guess that not many people dare to come anywhere near them in the first place since he’s constantly by their side. On the one hand an advantage, on the other hand also a huge disadvantage because even their friends might be just too afraid of Kyōtani.

🌪That guy is violent, really violent. Mix that with his hurricane-like temper and you’re doomed. Even the slightest thing is needed for him to beat someone ripe for the hospital. So in that sense you’ll need to pull him back or protect the other person from hell’s rage because as soon as you enter his field of vision he’ll freeze, not daring to hurt you. Do it depends on his darling if the person ends up in black, red and blue or gets away with only suffering a short heart attack.

🌪To a certain extent Kyōtani would even understand if his s/o doesn’t want to move in with him, he knows that he’s very intimidating and scary. On the other hand he will lose it if he hasn’t them with him at all time, they’re basically the only thing that keeps him under control so that will lead him to eventually kidnapping them. On the other hand there’s also the chance that you know that as well and move in with him so you can help him with his anger issues.

🌪He’s with his vicious and more brutal tendencies a very dangerous one, even though that counts only for the people around you because he would never hurt you. Nevertheless life with him is everything, but easy. His possessiveness, his jealousy and the fact that he often lashes out easily can make him a dangerous one. That’s where you have to come in because you’re the only one who can “tame” him. If you invest enough time in it, with time Kyōtani will cool his temper down a lot more and get a tad less violent and a bit more patient.

#yandere haikyuu!!#yandere haikyuu #yandere tōru oikawa #yandere oikawa #yandere issei matsukawa #yandere takahiro hanamaki #yandere hanamaki #yandere hajime iwaizumi #yandere iwaizumi #yandere shigeru yahaba #yandere yahaba #yandere shinji watari #yandere watari #yandere yūtarō kindaichi #yandere kindaichi #yandere akira kunimi #yandere kunimi #yandere kentarō kyōtani #yandere matsukawa

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bbrandy2002 · 3 years

Text

Fool’s Rush In

Part 15

Book: The Royal Romance

Pairing: Liam x MC

Warnings: mild violence

Series Premise: With two weeks until Liam is to marry Madeleine – his pick during the social season – the guys throw him a bachelor party in Vegas. After a drunken night, he finds himself with more than he bargained for.

Thanks @burnsoslow for the beta read.

---------------

Supposedly, the more a person suffered in the name of love, the more it showed they really cared.

At least, that's what Riley thought.

After nightfall of this particular evening -- when she least expected it -- she never realized how much truth that belief held.

Or how much it would hurt to sacrifice the one person who made her believe she was worthy of love and saw who she really was on the inside.

Her dainty arm -- a delicate bronze in color, sleek, with a glittering red strap across one shoulder -- linked through the arm of the man she had grown to love more than life itself as they entered the palace ballroom. Working tirelessly over the last week to ensure everything went off without a hitch had taken its toll on her. All she could think about, as she shook hands and charmed dignitaries with a sparkle in those twinkling brown eyes, was how much sleep she planned to make up for after the ball ended.

This ball was to introduce the King and his new bride to the Cordonian court for the first time. A show of solidarity and, hopefully, strength. A way to establish that what happened in a tiny chapel 10,000 miles away weeks ago between two strangers wasn't a careless mistake, and that she could handle the duties bestowed on her as a common American woman.

Or at least pretend she could for now.

However, for the King and the "Jewel of His Heart" whom he escorted through the curious crowd of pretentious naysayers in extravagant gowns and tuxes, with their fake smiles and tedious posturing ...

It was nothing less than fate.

Riley was the key that unlocked that safe space deep inside Liam's heart that had been sheltered for so long, waiting for the perfect person to come along and open it. This was the place where he kept his most sacred feelings: a genuine love, never-ending laughter, joy, romance, ecstasy, and every dream he ever held for the future -- one he presumed would never exist in any form he longed for.

But she didn't just unlock it. Riley shattered it wide open, where everything came flooding out at once and consumed him like a raging wildfire.

And it was the most remarkable, intoxicating experience of his life.

Liam showed her off all evening as they mingled during their rounds, danced, and conversed with the variance of nobility. She was the sexiest woman in that room, and he'd dare say the looks of envy shot in his direction from high-class men as he proudly cavorted her around didn't bother him in the least. Not that that was her only quality -- far from it. There were so many things about Riley that were special. But he couldn't help feeling a sense of pride that she was all his.

And without question, he was all hers.

Seated at the head table, Riley swallowed a morsel of the veal medallion she wanted to be served for this occasion. When given a choice between fish and lamb, the fish never stood a chance. The memory of that smelly, god-awful lunch with Regina three weeks ago was not something her palate had forgiven her for yet. As wonderful and savory as this extravagant meal, covered in a light brown mushroom sauce and served with a side of broccoli rabe, was, it couldn't hold a candle to what she craved the most: a slice of white pizza from Carmine's back in Brooklyn.

Or a slab or two of the New Yorker.

With maybe some cheesecake.

Covered in chocolate.

And a sausage rice ball. A Frito pie smothered with sour cream. Definitely a rainbow bagel from The Bagel Store. Barbecue ribs and beans from the mom-and-pop diner hidden just off the strip in Vegas.

Of course, her grandma’s country fried steak with white gravy sounded delicious too.

For sure, a fried Twinkie like the one she ate at the New York State Fair in 2013.

"You've outdone yourself, sweetheart," Liam marveled while wiping at the corner of his mouth with a napkin. "The meal was delicious, and our guests appear to be enjoying themselves." The others seated at the table looked up, adding their compliments.

Still dreaming about a fat slice of New York-style pizza, Riley smiled graciously back at him, until she noticed the server refilling Liam’s glass with merlot, causing her to do a double-take.

Hot tears pooled in her eyes, and a heavy feeling of sadness swelled in her chest as she panicked. "I asked for the Pinot Noir. Not the merlot,” she rasped meekly. “You don't like merlot, Liam. And the Pinot Noir was from the 'C' place where Duke Hakim lives. He'll be so disappointed and think I'm slighting his duchy. They’ll all hate me forever and ... wait a minute." She trailed off as a realization hit her, and Riley quickly glanced down at her plate before scanning each of the dishes from those seated around her.

The anxiety intensified; she could no longer suppress the heartbroken sob that wailed out of her. "Where are all the potatoes? We were supposed to have the potatoes, Liam. They didn’t serve the potatoes. Now the whole night is completely ruined, and it’s all my fault. I'm such a failure as a queen, and you should just send me to the dungeon now and throw away the key. I apologize to all of you for my incompetence and the lack of potatoes with your meal." Riley’s red-hot face, full of tears, plunged into the palms of her hands, then quickly sprung back up as Liam hesitantly tried to place a hand on her shoulder. A strong urge to use the restroom ended her crying spell as if it never happened. “Oh, oh. I gotta pee so bad. I’ll be right back.” She gave a warm smile and excused herself as she pushed her chair back and scurried merrily toward the nearest restroom.

Liam, Regina, Leo, Maxwell, and Olivia watched with confusion as she happily took off, not knowing what to say or what to make of the sudden shift in her moods.

“What the hell was that?” Olivia scowled, her eyes fixed on Liam.

“Is she all right, dear?” a concerned Regina asked.

Liam scratched the back of his head, nearly at a loss for words. “I ... I don’t know. I’ve never seen her that upset … especially over potatoes.” He paused in thought. “She was a little on edge this morning. Still, she’s been working a lot on the preparations and everything else going on. It must have gotten to her.”

Maxwell shrugged. “Maybe she just finally snapped.”

Leo shook his head, swallowing a forkful of beef. “Or maybe she has the premenstrual syndrome.”

“Leo!” The group admonished.

“What?” Leo bit back, taking in each of their disappointed glares. “Don’t act like it’s not true. Trust me, when I have cramps and bloating, I can go from a happy little Leo to a Bertrand, just like that.” He snapped his fingers, following it up with a frown. “It ain’t pretty, you all.”

Maxwell looked across the table at Liam and agreed, “He has a point.”

Wanting to shed his skin and slither away, Liam pinched the bridge of his nose. “Can we not discuss something so personal and private, especially while several hundred people are dining around us?”

“I’m just saying, little brother, that you need to be understanding and gentle during this special time of your wife’s 'lady business.' You should speak softly and slowly to her because Shark Week messes with a girl's mind, man. Their brains short-circuit, and there’s nothing left up there but a couple of crickets and man-eating rattlesnakes. One second, you think she’s fine, but if you’re not careful, in the next second, you’ll find yourself with two venomous fangs rattling from your nut sack, dude. She will tear you apart and spit you out like a rabid dog. You can make it through these next few days, but only if you take my advice.”

“That is the single dumbest thing I’ve ever heard you say,” Olivia spat, boring her eyes into him. “And you’ve said a lot.” She turned to Liam, whose face was slightly pale and void of expression. “Don’t listen to his sexist drivel. Why you haven’t declared him insane yet is beyond me. You should have sent him away with that filthy hairball to Valtoria you had caged earlier.”

“IT WAS MONGO!” Leo erupted, causing the dishes on the table to clatter as he jumped to his feet and hovered over the redhead. Every head in the ballroom whipped around to see what was happening, and a deafening silence filled throughout. Even the orchestra stopped playing their classical tune.

A wide-eyed Regina smiled sheepishly as she glanced out at the quiet audience who were waiting to see what all the fuss was about. She thought fast before calling out, “We were just playing a little game of … 'It was Mongo.'” The former queen snatched Maxwell’s Sunset Rum punch from his hand, thrusting the drink up at her stepson, towering beside her, and instructed in a grandmotherly tone, “Be a good lad, Leo. You lost this round. It's time to chug-a-lug, my boy.” With his face burning, Liam slid down in his seat.

“Ooooo, I wanna go next.” Maxwell bounced excitedly while the guests resumed the festivities. "How do we play?"

“I think I want to go, too,” Liam replied, straightening back up before hurling his napkin on the table. “I’m going to go find Riley.”

-----------------

Riley exited the ladies' room, clutch in hand and a fresh dab of clear gloss gleaming on her pink lips. She stopped walking just as the door closed behind her and smiled with a look of surprise at seeing Liam leaning against the opposite wall. "What are you doing out here?"

He pushed himself off the wall, closing the distance between them and meeting her in the middle of the empty corridor. They wrapped their arms around each other, indulging in the warmth of their lovers' embrace. "Would you believe me if I told you I just missed you?" he answered, placing a tender kiss on her lips that skimmed lower to her jawline.

"I missed you, too," she moaned with each gentle pressure of his seductive lips, suckling and nibbling along the spot that trailed behind her ear that he knew drove her crazy. "But something tells me that's not the only reason you left the ballroom."

Their gazes met simultaneously. "Leo."

Riley chuckled softly. "Do I even want to know?"

Liam sighed, smoothing back a loose hair behind her ear. "You know my brother and his wonderful words of wisdom." There was no way in hell he would tell her what they really discussed after she left; he could only imagine her embarrassment. "Everyone was just a little worried about you, that's all."

"I didn't mean to scare everyone. I just wanted tonight to be perfect. Instead, so many things went wrong. I can only assume what the court thinks about me now." She lowered her gaze to the red carpeting where they stood. "I let you down."

"I don't want to ever hear you say that again. Riley, sweetheart, you can never let me down. Do you understand that?" Liam lifted her chin; her tentative eyes stared back at him for a moment before nodding. "Good. And just so you know, our guest are used to bombings, stabbings, kidnappings, shootings, and terror plots at most of my palace events --"

"Wait. What?"

" -- I assure you, just the fact alone, that none of that took place tonight, and they're all going to leave here soon -- alive -- will be huge for them. Not having potatoes with the meal or the right wine was the least of their worries. They will consider this night a success. And a testament to their new queen. You should, too. I'm so very proud of you."

"I have so many questions about everything you just said."

Liam smiled, caressing Riley's petal-soft cheeks and lowering his head to kiss her again. "All in due time, my love.”

Riley let out a deep, drawn-out yawn she lightly covered with her palm before stretching and rolling her neck. A couple of weeks' worth of planning and endless decisions had left heavy tension in her shoulders and overwhelming exhaustion like nothing she'd felt before. None of it went unnoticed by Liam, who placed his hands on her shoulders and gingerly kneaded the taut muscles.

"What do you say about heading back to our quarters, taking off all of your clothes, and I'll be up soon to massage this gorgeous body from head to toe? And hopefully, when I'm through, you'll massage parts of me, too … with any part of your body that you'd like." His lips curved into an inviting smile.

"Mmm, that's tempting," she purred, rubbing her hands over his ample chest. "But I can't just leave. It's the Queen's Ball. Without me, it's just ... The Ball." She chuckled, despite herself.

“Don’t you worry your pretty little panties over the ball. Just go upstairs and take them off. I’ll handle everything down here. Then … “ He squatted down to her eye level. “ … I’ll handle you.”

Her heart fluttered every time Liam spoke to her that way. The way he desired only her. She bit the corner of her lip teasingly. “I love you so much.”

Liam smiled. “You better. You’ve got one hell of a husband. I’d even venture to say you’re the luckiest woman on the whole damn planet right now.” Before Riley could respond to his jest, he put both of his hands on her cheeks to hold her head still and began placing playful, wet smooches all over her face, causing her to laugh riotously. After a few seconds of her squirming around and cackling at his antics, he paused to look at her. “You know I love you, too. Now go on up. I’ll be right behind you soon.”

With a pat to her backside, they went their separate ways.

---------

Liam returned to the ballroom, having offered to finish what little time was left without her. He would offer his apologies for her absence, but in reality, the King couldn’t have cared less what anyone there thought. Since his bachelor party weeks ago, he had grown from a man who had no choices to one who made his own. His marriage and relationship with Riley came first. Her wellbeing was the main priority -- to hell with anyone who had a problem with that.

As Riley placed a hand on the elegant wooden handrail of the grand staircase and took the first step up, her thoughts meandered to where she had been in her life one month ago and how vastly it had changed in such a short time. For the first time in years, she was happy, and it felt so good to be in that place where she could finally let go of the past and move on. Liam was a game-changer, and she was thoroughly convinced he was the only person on the planet who could have gotten her out of her own head and to this level of blissful existence.

Rounding the corner at the top of the stairs, she reached into her clutch to pull out the key card to her quarters, exhaustion slowing her strides. Shuffling past a row of closed office doors and framed artwork, she made her way to the residential wing.

The squeak of a door behind her and the click of heels drew her attention, causing her to stop and turn to see who was there.

The color drained from her face as Madeleine casually stepped out, her hands behind her back and a devious, unsettling grin cemented on her face.

It wasn't the fear that made Riley's heart pound with a sickening thud, but more shock than anything. No one had seen or spoken to the Countess since the confrontation in Las Vegas when she showed up unexpectedly after finding out Liam had married Riley the night prior.

Now, suddenly, there she was, as if out of nowhere, a gleam in her eye, looking all too pleased to have this run-in with Riley.

"A little dramatic, don't you think?" Riley scoffed, taking one step back the closer Madeleine approached. "What are you even doing here?"

"I'm not going to hurt you, if that's what you're worried about," she answered contemptuously. Her green eyes drifted to one of the cameras mantled at each end of the hallway. Riley placed a shaky hand over her stomach, letting out a low, relieved breath, hoping that was the truth. "Not physically, anyway."

"Well, that sounds promising," Riley replied sardonically. "Now, if you don't mind ..." She turned away, wanting nothing more than to escape this conversation and make it back to her quarters.

Madeleine reached out and grabbed the Queen by her elbow, pulling her back and harshly twisting her around so they were now face-to-face. "You're not going anywhere until I'm through with you," she hissed with an icy glare. "I told you I would make you regret what you've done."

Riley jerked her arm, trying to free herself. "Let go of my arm, Madeleine!"

"Not until you hear what I have to say."

"I'm not interested in anything you have to say! Now LET ME GO!" Riley hoped someone heard her yell or at least witnessed what was happening on the camera. Where the hell is security?

While continuing to struggle to free herself, she reached up with her free hand in an attempt to pry off Madeleine's bony fingers that were squeezing tight grooves around her elbow, her manicured nails digging deeper into Riley's skin. "You're hurting me. I said to let me go."

"Very well, then." The woman, who had twice lost her chance at the crown, released her firm grasp, knowing that the momentum would cause Riley to stumble back as soon as she let go.

Just as predicted, Riley planted a foot behind her for leverage before drawing her arm back as hard as she could, one last time. Her eyes grew wide, and she let out a sharp gasp that sounded well down the corridor. Riley sailed backward, tripping over herself and toppling to the ground. She finally landed with a hard blow on her backside, the rear of her head just inches from slamming to the floor.

A shockwave of pain coursed up Riley's spine from hitting so abruptly. Before she had a chance to respond or process what happened, Madeleine crouched down beside her, holding a DVD up and gaining Riley's attention.

The pain had morphed into a throbbing ache that was soon forgotten as the Queen stared quizzically at the object displayed in front of her like a grand prize.

"What is that?" her voice trembled.

"It's my ace in the hole," Madeleine stated, then wagged a finger. "Someone used to be a very naughty girl."

Furrowing her brows, Riley responded. "I don't know what you mean."

"You know precisely what I mean, but just in case, please allow me to refresh your memory," Madeleine smirked before rising to her feet and prancing around as if she were having the time of her life. "I did a little digging after my brief visit to Las Vegas and came across a man who knew you very, very well at one time. I made some calls. We exchanged e-mails, a transfer of money or two. And he was all too eager to accept my offer of payment for any dirt he could give me on you."

There was no point in asking "who" -- she already knew; the thought made her nauseous. Riley closed her eyes and muttered. "Tyler?"

"Yes," Madeleine beamed, " Your ex-husband. He had a lot to say about you."

"I'm sure he did. Does it even matter to you that he's a liar and a cheat -- not to mention greedy? He would make up anything if he thought he could profit off of it."

"Oh, it matters. Personally, I don't believe a damn thing he had to say. Honestly, Riley ... even someone like you could have done better than that slime."

Riley cringed in pain as she pushed herself off the floor and turned to her oppressor. "Just get to the point, Madeleine. Clearly, he gave you something you thought was valuable enough to use against me, so just spit it already."

Madeleine smiled, "How very astute of you. You're correct. He did." She held up the disc as Riley regarded it suspiciously. "On this disk are several hours of the two of you ... together. Very graphic, if I do say so myself." Riley's jaw dropped upon hearing those words as Madeleine continued, "Now don't worry. I only watched it long enough to make sure the video was legit --"

"Give me that!" Riley reached out to snatch the DVD, but Madeleine pulled it away just out of her grasp. A burning sensation filled inside her chest and spread across her face. "You're lying. I never made videos like that."

"Oh, I think you did," the blonde countered with a mirthful tone. "You just didn't know about it. Your ex admitted as much to me ... an asshole move, for sure. But nonetheless, I purchased the copy from him for a hefty sum. And ... well ... here we are now. You're more than welcome to take this disc and see for yourself; I have it downloaded as a backup, knowing you'd want proof."

At that moment, all Riley wanted was for Liam to walk down that corridor where she now stood, pick her up in his arms, whisk her away to safety, and tell her it was all a bad dream. Not that she did anything wrong -- she was married at one time to the man, presumably on the video, and would have been a consenting adult.

No, it was the fact that Tyler Brooks had taken intimate videos with her during their marriage, without her knowledge. Now Madeleine had possession of them.

God only knew what she planned to do with them, but Riley had a pretty good idea. "What do you want?" she whispered in defeat, afraid to hear the answer.

Madeleine grinned from ear-to-ear. "For you to leave Cordonia tonight and never return, or I release everything to the press."

Riley shook her head. "No. As much as I don't want anyone to see that video, I did nothing wrong, and I won't be blackmailed or intimidated by you so that you can get your grubby little paws on the crown."

"Is that so?" It wasn't a question so much as a remark meant to convey who was in control.

Maintaining her position, Riley raised a brow, refusing to give in.

Madeleine was far from giving up, though; she had manipulation in her blood. "Very well, then. I'll release the video in the morning. It should be interesting to see how the world reacts to yet another scandal by this monarchy. Their Queen plastered all over the internet again, except this time, uploaded on every porn site on the web.

"The news will run the story with your blurred-out silhouette in the background. Your father will see it, and his business will become a target.: Your friends. Family. Students. They'll all be inundated with your sexual proclivities. But the worst part will be the tribunal. The council will have no choice but to question Liam's decision-making abilities after not only squandering his pick of queen on some American nobody, but now one whose ass will be featured on the desktops of teenage boys across the world. It's a shame that he'll lose his reign, all because of you. Would you really do that to Liam? Do you genuinely believe you're worth all the trouble it will cause him?"

Riley froze. She knew Madeleine was taunting her with the people she cared about the most. The last thing she wanted was to embarrass each of them. But to possibly cause Liam to lose his legacy, his birthright, and the rulership of a country he loved so much? It was something she couldn't shake.

Staring blankly, twisting the bands of gold that belonged to Liam's mother, she couldn't get the question Madeleine just asked out of her mind: Did Riley believe she was worth the trouble it would cost him?

Nothing was damning on that video, aside from the fact that she never knew it existed. But she already had so much to prove; another video in the press' hand would tarnish Liam. Maybe the Countess of Fydelia was right: He would lose it all.

"Time is ticking," Madeleine reminded Riley as she tapped her watch. "What's it going to be?"

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Liam x MC: Cordonia-gothqueen

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#liam x mc #liam x riley #prince liam #king liam #the royal romance #trr #choices liam x mc #Fools Rush In #bbrandy2002

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