#and her fears are just so fucking real the fact that ann could want something that she could never EVER give he breaks her

[iredreamer]

She always surprises me.

#gentleman jack #perioddramaedit #gentlemanjackedit #gentlemanjackdaily #gentleman jack spoilers #anne lister #ann walker #suranne jones #sophie rundle #gifs #iredreamer #best scene of the whole season for now but now i need to rant because i can't with anne being so terrified it breaks my heart #and her fears are just so fucking real the fact that ann could want something that she could never EVER give he breaks her #just think how she tries to always give ann what she needs and desires all the time but children you know? if ann wants children then what?? #and she's terrified because she can't do anything about it #and this whole ending #MY GOD ANN WALKER OWNS MY ASS YALL #the way adney takes her hand #THE KISS #THE CARESS #good lord help #i've said this in season one and i'll say it again #the way ann walker comforts anne lister mirroring the ways in which anne lister takes care of her fucking sends me #i need to write a proper analysis of this scene #bye

[thefandomwritersblog]

Ghost of the Ten Horizon: Forbidden West Hekarro x Fem! Old One OC Action/Adventure/Romance/Hurt/Comfort Chapter 10

Part 2: Ghost of the Ten

~~

“Kindness begins with understanding we all struggle.” - Charles Glassman ~~

Time passed as Hekarro endured Victoria's tears in silent vigil until she was consumed by a desolate stillness. Her body curled up into the corner, as if she could hide away from the world. Pity was something he could not bear to give, and he knew words would be utterly useless. Hollow sentiments that could never begin to comprehend the immensity of her loss; no matter how much he had suffered himself.

"Am I going to have to go back?" She asked eventually, voice hoarse from her tears.

"You've only just woken up," He said, shifting uncomfortably on the floor, "You need more rest."

"And that has nothing to do with the fact that you're trying to keep me a secret?"

He was taken aback by the abruptness of her question, its razor-edge cutting through him. Once again, she exuded a palpable agitation that rippled through her words. His breath quickened as he found himself captivated by her sharp tongue; for better or worse, she refused to mince what she thought or wanted to say. And for him, it was both thrilling and refreshing to face such brazenness in another.

In any case, his stunned silence only seemed to spark her amusement, and Victoria eventually scoffed at him, "Why all the secrecy?"

"You come from a forgotten age, Victoria. An age shrouded in myths and legends - deified by many. And as far as I know: you are the only Old One that's ever been found alive."

"So I'm a danger to you?"

Hekarro sighed and threaded a hand through his hair, "I don't know yet." He answered honestly, "But I cannot deny that your presence poses unique problems to me."

"What do you mean by that?"

"You claim that Anne Faraday was your mother, yes?"

The change in her demeanor was instantaneous; a dark cloud settled over her figure, and he could hear the ugly sneer in her voice when she spoke, "Unfortunately."

He wasn't a fool. Hekarro had been born a Lowlander, reared in an environment that taught him to read the slightest tremble in the air, to stalk the shadows with a practiced silence and ease. To sense the animosity of a predator with her hackles raised. Anne was clearly a sensitive topic; one careless misstep on his part, and Victoria would be at his throat.

"Your--" He hesitated, glancing at Victoria as he searched for the right words to say. "Anne Faraday is part of a memorial. Something that is deeply embedded in the culture and history of my people."

"So me being her kid." she whispered, "does that make me a threat to you?"

The tension in her words was palpable; she sounded fearful, angry and alone. Though he could not see her face in the dark, he could still feel her glare stinging his skin. Had he been someone else, he may have lied to appease her. But it was not his nature.

"As I said, I don't know yet." He replied after a moment of silence. "I don't believe in judging a person until they give me reasons to do so."

Then, she began to laugh. It was lacerating, a cacophony of uncontrolled fury and disbelief.

"This is fucking insane!" She spat through gritted teeth, her head still bowed in shock. "A thousand years in cryostasis? This isn't some sort of sci-fi story; It's real life! You seriously expect me to just accept this?!"

Hekarro could only bear her wrath in painful silence. When he didn't reply, she screamed, desperate and furious

"Answer me!"

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, feeling his exhaustion finally catch up to him. "I refuse to pretend I understand what you're going through," he began quietly. "Nobody can. So no, I don't expect you to trust me blindly. To be honest, that would be foolish of you."

An oppressive quiet hung between them, and he found himself pausing on the brink of uncertainty. He was still not sure what to do with her when she punctured that silence with one simple, single demand:

"Everything that you're telling me?" Victoria demanded, her voice hard. "Prove it. I want to see it for myself right now."

Hekarro chuckled in response. He could hear the angry intake of breath through her teeth, but he shook his head. "No, you need more time to--"

"I don't care," she said, cutting him off sharply. "You want me to believe you, you have to show me."

"And how do you expect me to do that? You can barely see as it is. If there is something that I can give you that would convince you of my truthfulness, then tell me, and I will provide it should it be within my power to do so.”

All she could muster in response was an angry snarl. He held his tongue, waiting for the fire inside her to burn out. Eventually, all that was left between them was a low hum—an uncomfortable gap of nothingness that seemed to grow the longer they stayed in resentful silence.

He was adrift, his heart sinking as he watched Victoria struggle; not knowing if his comfort was wanted or needed, but feeling helplessly pained at her callousness. He knew why she lashed out: the world was becoming too much for her to bear, and she was desperate to feel in control of something - even if it was her own temper.

"You gonna drag me back now?" She asked softly, the anger palpable in her tone.

Hekarro shook his head and said, "I am not a monster, Victoria. You can stay here for as long as it takes. When you're ready, we'll go back together."

"And if I don't want to go back there?"

He started to wonder if she was being difficult just to spite him until he heard her mutter.

"It's too quiet…and too dark."

Hekarro stood up slowly with a deep breath and turned his back to the machine pen.

"Stay right here," he said, "I'll see what I can do."

Victoria responded with a dismissive grunt. He made his way up the steep, sandy rise of the passage. As he emerged from the darkness into the light of early morning, a brisk breeze brushed against his face, and it was only then that he realized how much time had passed during their conversation. His eyes caught sight of an orange-pink hue that spread across the horizon, slowly banishing the stars until only traces of them remained.

"Chief Hekarro?"

He spun around to find Dekka striding towards him across the arena floor, her face a mask of determination. Following close behind were Aloy, Beta, and Kotallo, brows furrowed with worry as they marched closer. All of which he calmed with a simple, placating gesture, slowing their approach.

"I found her." He declared, cutting short their panicked inquires. “She'll cooperate if we don't take her back to her previous room. Dekka?”

His chaplain considered aloud, “The barracks are far too crowded. If we cordoned off a section, it' would cause a fuss. We need something more private for our guest if we want to keep her secret a bit longer.”

“Do the Marshals have personal chambers here?” Aloy questioned Kotallo, who shrugged back.

“Yes, though there aren't any particular assignments for them. A careless Marshal may enter and find out our secret if we don't stay vigilant.” Hekarro observed a frustrated look spread across his face as he clenched his fist, “Do we really need to do this? Keeping an eye on her is easier when there's only one way in and out."

Beta twisted the corner of her mouth and dipped her chin down in a hesitant nod. "It's not critical," she murmured softly, "but it's important to keep her mental health in mind too. She's already struggling with so much; we shouldn't add more weight by forcing her into something that makes her feel uncomfortable. Plus, she'll likely recover faster if she's in an environment she feels safe in."

"We also want her to cooperate with us, Marshal Kotallo." Hekarro chastised him gently.

"What if," Beta posed, glancing at him cautiously, "she remains in your room? Respectfully, of course, Chief Hekarro."

"It's not a terrible compromise," Dekka added, "It's quiet, out of the way, and we don't run the risk of someone barging in without good reason."

The suggestion surprised him, but the logic was sound enough that he couldn't disagree.

"Very well," He answered, shooting a look to his Chaplain and Marshal, "Make sure the walls and the rear corridors are clear. I'm going to take the Old One into my chambers myself."

Both nodded, and scattered to their tasks. Aloy nudged Beta's arm, flashing her a smile: "Come on, let's get the medicine and the equipment moved."

Hekarro clenched his teeth, fighting off a laugh as he watched the sisters disappear into the depths of the facility. He turned with purpose on his heel and descended back into the pens. Victoria was right where he'd left her, her silhouette etched against the far wall of the empty pen. He treaded carefully forward until he was beside her, and he felt her stare burn into him as he knelt by her side.

"It's time to go." He said softly, reaching his hand towards her. She flinched,

"Where are you taking me?"

"You wanted new quarters, yes?"

The shadows around her face tightened as if she were glaring at him, weighing the risk of trusting his outstretched hand. Hekarro held his breath, every second felt like a lifetime until she finally reached out to grasp his hand with trembling fingers. With care he guided her up, but she was completely unable to support her own weight and nearly collapsed in his arms.

He didn't hesitate; one arm came under hers and scooped her off the ground. Victoria gasped in shock, and Hekarro flinched as he felt her nails bite into his skin, both hands desperate for something stable in the black void.

"Easy," He whispered gently. It took her a moment to calm even as she stayed tense in his arms, "Time is of the essence if you want a better place to stay. With your eyesight the way it is now, you wouldn’t be able to move quickly enough."

"Well, maybe give me some warning before you decide to grab me off the ground next time."

Hekarro snorted out a chuckle at the bite of her sarcasm, a grin twisting his mouth as he glanced down at her, "Consider it a lesson learned, then." He rumbled as he readjusted Victoria's weight and started back up the passageway.

When they reached the end of the corridor, Hekarro stopped in the shadow of the threshold, scanning the walls for any sign of life. His gaze was drawn away by movement from his peripheral, and he saw Dekka waving urgently above them on the overlook. Without hesitation, Hekarro sprinted across the arena floor, leaping up the ramp towards the rear corridors. Kotallo was waiting for him by his room. The look of worry on his face softened as soon as Hekarro arrived, and Kotallo hastily pulled back the curtain to allow him to slip inside.

The second Hekarro was inside of his room, he felt relief from the tension in his shoulders. His space was significantly larger than the other living quarters in the grove. On one wall, a bed was placed in between two crumbling stone walls and a broken ceiling—the only protection from the weather outside. Separately, on the opposite side, there was a desk full of tools, paints, parchment, and other materials set out in a disorderly fashion.

Gently, Hekarro placed Victoria onto the large bed. Immediately, she pulled away from him and scooted towards the wall, nervously glancing around the room while keeping one eye on him.

"Where am I?"

"The Grove Interior," Hekarro answered, proceeding to his desk. He dismissed his paints and tools and grabbed his bracers from their resting place, carefully tying them around his arms. "To be exact, it's my room. It's calm and less of a chance for someone to bother you."

"Discover me, more like." She muttered. "Just another prison."

"Be that as it may," he said with a shake of his head, "It's this or returning you to the underground. Which do you prefer?"

Given her limited choices, Victoria clamped her mouth shut and let out a grumble of defeat. He took a moment to glance up at her, noting her unease.

"I am sorry about this." He said softly, letting out a sigh. "Until I figure out what to do, both with you and how to…explain you to my people, this is the best I can offer you. For tonight, and however long this situation lasts, you can have the bed and I'll make do on the floor."

Victoria just crossed her arms and shifted her gaze away in a gesture of refusal, her jaw flexing as if she wanted to speak. Whatever it was that she wanted to say, however, it died on her lips once Beta and Aloy entered the room carrying bundles of medicine and kits. They gave him a faint smile before immediately starting to work around Victoria, despite her obvious unhappiness.

Realizing that further conversation was pointless, Hekarro swiftly donned his gear and departed, leaving the sisters to their duties. He found Kotallo waiting for him on the other side, pacing along the opposite wall.

"Relax, Marshal Kotallo." Hekarro urged him, but Kotallo refused to be swayed.

"Have you decided what to do with the Old One?"

He bit his lip, trying to suppress an exasperated sigh. Again and again he was asked the same query: what to do with the Old One? Could she stay, or should they send her away? How would he explain all this to the rest of his people? He detested not having the answers required, especially when it was obvious that his people were anticipating solutions from him.

"Not yet," Hekarro answered evenly, "and I doubt I'll have that answer anytime soon."

"The guards are asking questions," Kotallo said with a frown, "Marshal Ivvira cornered me last night and accused me of withholding information from the tribe. She wants to know what's so important about the underground that I'm keeping it secret. I don't enjoy lying to her."

"Then the next time Marshal Ivvira demands answers from you," Hekarro suggested sternly, "I recommend that you encourage her to come to me directly with any concerns she may have."

The weight of responsibility pressed down on him. Every time he thought the situation couldn't get any worse, it did. One issue after another without respite. He reminded himself that this was the cost of being a leader—something he took on when he brought the tribes together.

"Do you require anything from me, My Chief?" Kotallo's voice cut through his reverie, and Hekarro shook his head.

"No. You are dismissed until further notice. Thank you."

Hekarro followed Kotallo with his eyes until the other man's figure was no longer visible around the corner. From the rear corridors, he moved to the overlook, gazing down at the arena below, as the sun rose in a brilliant display of orange light. Its rays spilled over the eastern spires and battlements, casting long shadows across the sand.

A feeling of overwhelming fatigue and uncertainty enveloped him, a wave of emotion threatening to drag him down like the tumultuous waters of a stormy sea. He had to make a decision about Victoria and inform his people, but he was at a loss as to where to even start.

Would the Tenakth accept that Victoria was an Old One, who had slept through her people's downfall? Would they venerate her when it became known who her mother was, or would they call her a heretic and drive her away? These questions were assuming, of course, that she wanted to stay in the Grove in the first place.

A cacophony of noises from within the Maw broke through Hekarro's trance like a thunderclap. He frowned, furrowed his brow as he strained to make out what was happening. The conversation seemed to escalate until it erupted into a ferocious argument, the voices reaching ear-splitting levels that shattered the eerie silence of the early morning. Suddenly, the distinct sound of weapons clashing with one another echoed off the walls and sent Hekarro sprinting down from the Overlook in haste.

Hekarro arrived to find the mess hall in complete chaos. Screaming and arguing filled the air as he paused just outside the entrance.

"That's enough!" Dekka shouted, and gradually the noise began to subside into a discontented grumble.

“Spark and steel!” Petra's voice rang out like thunder, reverberating through the mess hall. Hekarro knew her to be loud, but this? The irritation in her voice was as clear as the sky above him. “I leave you boltheads alone for five spark-blasted minutes, and you go pickin' fights? Are you two outta your minds?!"

"They are our guests; you disgrace your tribe with your abhorrent behavior!" Dekka scolded coldly.

A thunderous clatter of furious dissent reverberated through the chamber as he entered. Instantly, the uproar was smothered in a blanket of stillness, his sheer presence paralyzing all present. He noted the splintered furniture and broken glass, the two boys firmly in Petra's vice-like grip, and Dekka at the helm of his unruly guards, both whose fists were clenched in anticipation. He remembered them from yesterday—the same ones who had cluttered around the wall, watching the Oseram with suspicion.

Hekarro strode quietly, each step careful and precise, to the center of the room. He looked at the guards, both of whom refused to make eye contact with him. Then to the Oseram, their own gazes transfixed upon their feet.

"To my Throne Room," He said quietly, with a deadly undertone to his command. "Now."

There was no argument. The only sound was the dull thud of feet on the old stone floor as they trailed behind him in heavy silence. Hekarro paused once upon his throne, glowering at them each in turn. No one made a sound; no one dared to speak up. When the silence stretched on, Hekarro muttered irritably under his breath.

He loathed disciplinary hearings.

He understood that they were a necessity, born of the need to keep order. After all, any disobedience could lead to disarray, and far too much violence already existed in the world without petty infighting worsening it. He studied each of the transgressors, their gazes lowered so as not to meet his.

"Twenty years," he mused quietly, his eyes flickering to the mural on the floor. "For twenty years, I have labored to secure unity among my people and guide them on a path of peace and prosperity. Not only for the Tenakth, but also for other tribes. And yet, this morning I woke to find out that all these efforts were nearly all in vain because of a dispute. Over what, exactly?"

Petra firmly nudged one of her workers in the shoulder when no one responded to him. The boy muttered under his breath, swallowed hard, and shook his head. "We were just sitting here having our meals and getting ready for the day, and these guys start shouting at us--"

"You lie!" growled one of the Tenakth. "Our Chief has been gracious enough to let you stay here, yet you make a mockery of our sacred grounds and talk about taking trinkets back home to share with your friends?!"

"Sod off! Don't you know a joke when you hear one?"

"That's enough!" Hekarro commanded. He glared at each of the guards and waved his head in disapproval. "Any issues should have been brought to a Marshal, Chaplain, or me. You do not have the authority to take actions against those I've declared as my guests."

He looked sternly at the Oseram and said, "And you!" They quivered, yet stayed put when their Forgewoman admonished them: "I offer you the chance to be a part of my Grove; I give you jobs; I provide you shards to send back for your families' sake; and this is how you repay me? By scorning and belittling my home? Our Arena isn't something for you to dismantle and display."

Hekarro's face darkened as he looked at the two guards. "You should both be stripped of your ranks and sent back to your tribes in disgrace," he spat. He then turned his glare to the Oseram, declaring coldly, "And all of you should be thrown from my lands. Let your Forgewoman and nature deal with you!".

His booming voice resounded along the ancient walls, causing everyone from the Dekka to the Oseram to jump in surprise. Hekarro didn’t usually shout, but he had no patience for their arguments. He huffed and hunched over onto his knees, "I suggest you all be grateful that I am in a somewhat merciful mood today. Your punishment is trench duty; perhaps some sweat and filth will help you learn to get along better. Dismissed."

He watched as the members of Petra's crew and the guard all filed out of the room, save for Petra herself, who lagged behind. With her hands on her hips, she turned to face him, and he saw the determination in her eyes.

Look, Chief,” she began, her voice low enough so that it wouldn't carry to the rest of the group. "I’m a proud woman, but I know when I owe someone gratitude. You had every right to kick us out on our asses, but you didn’t, and I can’t thank you enough for giving me and my boys a second chance.”

Hekarro's head shook slowly. "My people are no less culpable than yours. It would reflect badly on me if I did not make everyone responsible for their misconduct." He stared sternly at Petra, who returned his gaze without wavering, “This will not happen again.”

“Believe me,” she promised darkly, “It won’t.”

After Petra gave a short bow, she left the Grove through the broken arches. Hekarro closed his eyes for a moment. She was correct in some respects; he could have easily thrown her and her men out, but he could not deny that he needed her help. Even though he had already paid her a generous amount for her services, there was no replacement for her expertise in repairing and strengthening the arena. He likened this agreement to a duel, where each move had to be accurate and prompt. One misstep, one slip-up, and he would lose it all.

Hekarro's exhaustion came back with a vengeance, and the beginnings of a headache started to form in the base of his skull. He sighed and massaged his temples. Dekka would tell him to lay down and rest; after what happened the previous day, along with his lack of sleep, he wanted nothing more than to do just that. However, his bed was now occupied by an ornery Old One and Hekarro had no interest in spending his day as well as the long night sleeping on the floor.

And so he reluctantly set aside his uncertain thoughts, exchanging his unease for productivity. The morning and afternoon dragged on with frustrating slowness, though there was nothing he could do to speed them along. It seemed like no matter what he undertook, there were always more tasks that needed tending to and additional worries brought to his attention—a seemingly infinite spiral of trials and tribulations whose burden was becoming too much to carry. His headache had yet to dissipate by the time dusk arrived, the clamor of the day retreating into the gentle murmur of the wind through the jungle.

He savored the evening for its serenity, allowing it to relieve some of his burdens. He drifted through the tranquil corridors of the Grove, gradually progressing from room to room. He was comforted by the knowledge that everything he had sacrificed and worked for would be worth it. For certain, Aloy had warned of an approaching tempest, but no one was certain when it would hit. The only thing they could do was prepare for whatever might come.

Hekarro raised a hand to his opposite shoulder and sighed; the dirt and sweat did nothing to soothe the twinges in his muscles, nor did the humidity, even as it decreased with the descent of the sun. He drifted towards the inner ramparts of the arena, nodding at a few Nightwatch on his way down into the baths. The baths themselves were situated beneath the northern outer wall; he couldn’t be sure what the old sequence of chambers had been prior to that since they were partly inundated when initially found.

The warm air welcomed him to the small vestibule of the bathhouse. A light haze of mist floated on the ground, undisturbed, until he walked into an adjacent stall and perched on a stool. He carefully removed his gear and arranged it into a neat bundle in the corner before retrieving a cloth to moisten it. Everyone followed the same custom in the bathhouse: erase the Tenakth paintings from their skin. Machine blood was heat-expedient and sweat-resistant, but poisonous for the water. Even their powder pigments could sully it, so scrubbing it off beforehand was preferable before indulging in the baths.

Hekarro stepped into the main room of the bathhouse, his bare skin still dripping with water. The chamber was empty save for one person; an older woman clad in traditional armor sat on a wooden stool behind a stone basin. She looked up at him and nodded before returning to her task of silently crafting sea salt soapstones. Mirella, the overseer, didn't speak often, but Hekarro always felt a certain sense of ease in her presence. Without uttering a word, she handed him a soapstone as he passed by.

He slid into the pool, letting the warm, mineral-rich water wash over him. The red brick walls curved around in an almost perfect circle, reaching up to form a domed ceiling of tightly-fitted stonework that prevented the water from spilling out into the room. At the center of the curve glowed a large metal cauldron heated by a roaring fire, with glowing embers burning beneath it and sending off waves of heat. He could feel it even from where he sat, and he knew one accidental brush would guarantee raw and blistering pain.

Tonight was surprisingly peaceful, which Hekarro welcomed with a deep sigh of relief. It seemed to be inviting him in—an offer that was hard for him to resist. Hekarro wanted to lose himself in the warmth of the water and forget about his worries for a few precious moments. He closed his eyes and let the gentle dripping from the ceiling wash over him, listening to the low hum of the bubbling cauldron that lulled him into a relaxed daze. However, just as he started to drift away into the ether between sleep and wakefulness, something pulled him back, and he awoke with a rather unattractive snort.

Mirella released her grip on Hekarro's shoulder and furrowed her brows. “I apologize, Chief Hekarro," she said, "but if you are exhausted, find someplace more suitable to rest than the baths.”

Hekarro chuckled, “Understood, Overseer.”

Once she was content that he wouldn’t drift off again, Mirella resumed her tasks, the gentle brush of her broom joining the pleasant humming of the baths. Hekarro finished shortly after, partially clothed in his armor, his skin dewy with water, and his hair damp on his back. He ran a hand through the lengthy black locks and frowned at the habitual tug of the tangles he found.

The night had completely enshrouded the Grove by the time he exited the underground, and the gentle glimmer of torches guided him back to his chambers. He tiptoed through the threshold as he gently tugged at the curtain, taking precaution not to disrupt the slumbering duo on his bed. He found himself watching Beta and Victoria as they slumbered, the younger girl muttering in her sleep as she lay curled up on her side. A soft smile tugged at Hekarro's lips as a gentle fondness for the girl overwhelmed him. Carefully, he took one of the spare blankets from his bed and folded it before gently tucking it beneath Beta's head. She muttered softly and turned, but thankfully remained peaceful and undisturbed.

Hekarro's gaze shifted to Victoria, who was sound asleep in the bed opposite Beta. Her obsidian tresses fanned across the pillows, and her snores were faint but inconsistent. She wore a frown on her face as her eyes darted from side to side beneath her closed eyelids, speaking words that he couldn't make out. Hekarro recognized the signs of a nightmare, however, his compassion was overshadowed by apprehension. If he moves to awaken her, what comfort could he give her? Being so foreign to her world and unaware of the tribulations that tormented her dreams, he dreaded that any words spoken would simply aggravate her further.

He disliked this feeling of powerlessness.

With a gentle sigh, Hekarro tried to put his worrisome thoughts aside. He carefully pulled out the remainder of his bedclothes and blankets, arranging them on the floor. He laid down once he was satisfied, shifting uncomfortably against the hard stone before settling on his back. He stared at the stars peeking through the broken roof and the branches rustling in the treetop above him. His thoughts filled with worry for his people and for the Old One, who lay sleeping not far from him.

#horizon forbidden west #horizon zero dawn #hfw #hzd #hfw fanfic #my writing #hekarro #chief hekarro #old one oc #beta hfw #kotallo #dekka #aloy #ghost of the ten

[cyndavilachase]

Marcanne happening in season 3 could be a good thing for the characters and the shows’ themes as a whole

I don’t usually post my theories here on tumblr these days as traction has died a lot, so they all end up on twitter. But since tumblr is essentially just my art archive I thought I’d give a recent one of mine a go from a couple days ago, regarding marcanne:

The entire time that I've watched Amphibia and shipped marcanne it was mostly for fun- not that I thought it impossible, but I never expected it to happen. However, with recent trailers, promos, and interviews released, I really do think marcanne is now a high possibility.

I will be using Shera as reference-- particularly Save the Cat, and Glimmer & Bows relationship development, but you don’t need to have watched Shera.

We still don't know for sure at this point if Anne and/or Sasha is going to rescue Marcy, or if Olivia & Yunan will, but either way, it’s highly likely it'll happen by or on the mid season finale- in order to give enough time for the characters to make amends and heal in season 3b.

In order to give the audience a satisfactory conclusion to the characters’ developments, Anne and Marcy need a lot of time to talk, for Anne to forgive her, and for them to go through the healing process for the rest of season 3b. When we compare Anne & Marcy to Glimmer & Bow, as well as remember the pace of Anne forgiving Hop Pop, this will take a number of episodes. We can get a glimpse of how this will play out.

Marcy fucked up. Anne is and will continue to be hurt, and it'll take a lot of time (way more time than with Hop Pop) for them to make proper repairs even if Marcy says sorry again and explains her reasoning. Things will be awkward and their dynamic will have changed entirely.

However, there is this added layer of childhood best friends, Anne being protective of Marcy, as well as Marcy being stabbed and now, possessed, like Catra was. They're gonna want to go back to the way things were, but things have changed.

At this point in Shera, even after Bow and Glimmer reconciled, things were different and despite them healing and going back to being close and touchy-feely, they obviously had to overcome this huge hurdle. They managed to do that which strengthened their relationship and made them closer than ever. After that, it became evident that they were in love with each other since they were both willing to put the work into getting through a really rough spot. 

With that in mind, it wouldn’t feel unnatural for Anne & Marcy to go through the same thing, as there has been a lot of romantic subtext a la Anne blushing at Marcy in New Wartwood, and the fact that they are the most physically affectionate out of everyone in the show. It can be read platonic, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t romantic. We don’t know that yet.

Some extra treats for y’all shippers out there:

-Some of the crew has liked a pretty decent amount of lowkey marcanne and sashanne fanart, but mostly leaning into marcanne.

-Matt and crew have explicitly avoided answering any questions about the girls’ sexualities or if their feelings will ever be romantic. When you think about it, not confirming this is odd since Matt and crew are incredibly active in fandom, taking feedback and applying that to the show. Many members of the team are also queer so it would be odd to continue letting fans feel as though they're being queerbaited (not saying Marcy and Anne are queerbait, just that it would make sense to say whether or not they are early on since it's so popular).

-Back in last year's Reddit AMA Matt stated that the show is "an ode to old friendships." Old friendships can in fact turn into something else!

-It recently came out in an interview that Disney aged the girls down to 13 years old; they were originally going to be 15. While they were “aged down” absolutely nothing about their characters, interests, and personalities have been changed from the original writing. So despite the studio saying they’re 13, they’re basically high schoolers. This means dating isn’t partially out of the question, since tween dating can be a weird topic.

-The best one: Matt said in another interview that he knows that fans are hoping for certain things to happen, and without stating what will happen, he did say “it do happen."

As for why this development would be good for the characters and the show as whole- I know a lot of people don't like the idea of romance being thrown into the show, but Amphibia is about the girls’ growth & dealing with change.

Sasha in particular has issues with feeling left out & being in control, and Marcy and Anne getting together could only boost that insecurity as now they would have a new, personal dynamic without her involved. We know she’s going to be hanging out in Wartwood for a while. She will likely be redeemed a la interactions with the Wartwoodians. If Marcy and Anne get together and she’s actually totally cool with a dramatic change like this, it would be a fantastic development for her and a great representation of that idea.

Now, I always leaned into Marcy moving away to show that she has accepted change and getting over her fear of abandonment. However, with Marcy being stabbed and now possessed, it seems rather cruel to take her away from her friends. From her personality alone, we can assume that Anne and Sasha are her only friends and she may struggle a lot with making true friends at school because she’s so high energy. By the end of the show, the three of them will have gone through way too much to be separated in my opinion. 

I really think Marcy going through her dynamic with her friends changing because of her mistake will be enough of a lesson for her. 

If she does move, her and Anne could still do long distance.

Even BETTER is the fact that the show can totally show that romantic relationships and platonic relationships are equal. Third wheels are common but they're also garbage. I couldn’t ever see Anne and Marcy prioritizing themselves over Sasha if they decide to stay friends with her. Sasha is likely going to still be important to the both of them if they decide to stay friends after her redemption. This would be really different from the usual trio of a cartoon having the main character and his girl best friend slammed together at the very end, and entirely positive. It isn’t uncommon for two in a trio of friends to start dating in real life and remain stable as long as the work is put in! I know from personal experience.

Overall, there’s many possibilities for where the writers are headed with these characters. Romance or not, I’m really excited to see what they do.

#marcanne #amphibia #the dork speaks #theory #meta #amphibia theory

[thechangeling]

Friend make sense of me

HAPPY AUTISTIC ACCEPTANCE MONTH!!

It's been a long time coming,I've been working on this for two months, but I wanted to post this Alyssa and Jaime fic to mark the beginning of Autistic Acceptance month.

Cw: Discussions of ableism, masking, autistic trauma and cptsd.

The title of this fic is from A Hole in the Earth by Daughter. I highly reccomend listening to it while you read this. (Unless music distracts you from reading)

"Why does tragedy exist? Because you are full of rage. Why are you full of rage? Because you are full of grief."

-Anne Carson

Alyssa was late.

As she often was. She wasn't exactly great at keeping track of the time. Sometimes it was like she would blink and twenty minutes had gone by. Probably an ADHD thing.

Still she wasn't in a huge rush to reach the LA institute, she knew Ty would be ok with her being late for dinner. It gave him more time to spend with his precious boyfriend.

Not that she was bitter or anything. Honestly Kit mostly seemed decent and they both seemed really happy together. Alyssa just couldn't help but wonder when it was all gonna go to shit.

Her therapist would probably tell her that was her cptsd talking making her cynical about human nature and people's intentions. Alyssa just called it being realistic.

She had been reluctant to go to therapy at first. Her parents had instilled a fear of it in her. Plus she really didn't want to go spill her problems to some middle aged white lady. Or any allistic person actually. But luckily she had actually found an autistic asian women in her thirties.

And Alyssa was grateful for her every day but sometimes it was uncomfortable being scrutinized like this when she had no clue what she was doing or who she was trying to become.

She wanted to be good. That she knew. She didn't want to be a beacon of pain and rage for the rest of her life. Or at least until she ended it. She wanted to be a better person. The kind of person her family could be proud of. The kind of person Ty could be proud of.

Her therapist would say that it was unhealthy for Alyssa to attach so much of her wellbeing and personhood to another person. And somewhere deep down Alyssa knew she was right.

But she couldn't help it, in a world where nothing was certain and nothing was infinite, nothing's in control nothing makes sense there's just pain and hate and nothing you do means anything, where she had no idea what she wanted to do or be. When she had no idea who she was she or if she was even real, she knew he was.

Ty was solid and unmovable. He was her tether.

Alyssa continued clomping along the side of the road in her white leather high heeled boots. Magnus had portaled her to the middle of the pier instead of the institute because there was an outdoor concert she wanted to see before meeting up with Ty.

Ali loved a good outdoor concert. The fresh cool night air combined with all the space to dance was heaven. No crowded claustrophobic stadium where she could practically feel the walls closing in on her. She let the noise fill her up and wash through her body, sparking her nerves and making her come alive again.

Something Ty would never understand. He hated noise and hated concerts. It kinda broke her heart.

She finally reached the entrance of the institute, twenty minutes later then she said she would be.  Fucking fantastic.

She was putting her phone away when she saw him. There was a boy sitting out on the institutes steps. Brooding, it looked like. Brooding and drinking from a bottle of whiskey.

Ok well now Alyssa was intrigued. He was also pretty hot. He had brown slightly wavy hair, deep brown eyes and light brown skin. Also a strong jawline, and full lips that were set in a dead line.

Brooding or having some kind of internal crisis.

Whatever. Alyssa could work with that.

He hadn't noticed her as she was walking up to the porch somehow, despite the fact she was literally wearing what Ty had disdainfully called the noisiest shoes imaginable, (I like to go clip clomp jingle jangle Ty! It makes my brain happy.)

The boy was probably just ignoring her which pissed Alyssa off more then she would have liked.

"Hey shadowhunter!"she called out to him, noticing the black marks on his arms. "You're in my way."

The boy slowly looked up at her, his expression shifting from melancholy to a slight smirk. He licked his lips. "Let me guess," he slurred his words slightly, speaking with a Latin American sounding accent. "Long dark hair, murderous scowl, you must be Alyssa Reyes."

He smiled after he said her name in a way that made her feel weirdly exposed. It wasn't a friendly smile by any means but it also wasn't mocking or malicious. Alyssa felt like she was under a microscope. It wasn't as though she didn't like attention or being noticed. Her ego certainly preened and puffed up at the idea of him already knowing who she was.

But any social interaction with a new person was bound to make her feel anxious and this strange boy had a way of making her feel vulnerable, which she hated.

But she wasn't someone who easily allowed herself to be deterred. Alyssa matched his smile and channeled her best Faith Lehane persona. "Oh would you look at that, I'm famous!  And you are? She asked with fake casualness. Alyssa stared directly into his eyes, ignoring the pain.

His gaze never left hers. "Jaime Roccio Rosales. I'm sure you have heard of me."

Alyssa shrugged. "I haven't," she lied smoothly. She had heard of Diego Rosales' younger troublesome brother from Ty. Apparently he was friends with Dru and it was a friendship most of their siblings didn't trust because he was older. But Ty didn't really care either way, as long as Jaime didn't hurt her.

Alyssa wasn't even really sure why she lied about knowing who Jaime was. Sometimes she shifted into bitch mode when she got scared.

Jaime didn't look offended though. He just chuckled. "Well now you have," he said matter of factly, taking another long drink from the bottle of whiskey.

Alyssa bit her lip, debating for a moment before she nodded her head towards the bottle. "You got enough enough to share?"

Jaime smirked at her again. "I thought you needed to get inside?

Oh she hated that. That knowing look.

Alyssa faked nonchalance. "Ty will understand if I'm a little late." She conveniently neglected to mention that she was already more than a little late. But there was something weirdly interesting about the boy in front of her.

She sat down beside him and grabbed the bottle taking a long gulp. The whiskey burned at her throat like she had just swallowed bleach. Alyssa grimaced and rubbed her shoulder against her cheek, dragging it across. It was one of her favorite stims from childhood. She was putting in an effort to unmask more now.

Jaime gave her a look, but it wasn't judgemental or disgusted. Just curious.

Alyssa ignored him. " Ugh! Why do you hate yourself?" She asked only half jokingly, shoving the bottle back towards him.

Jaime gave a humourless chuckle. "How much time do you have?"

Fucking none was the truth. She had negative time as per usual. Ty was going to kill her.

"I'm genuinely curious," she replied honestly. She had actually started flicking her fingers in excitement. If there was one thing she loved was hearing about people who were more fucked up then she was. It was strangely comforting.

Jaime shook his head. "You first. Why do you do that?" He asked, pointing at her hands.

Alyssa froze on instinct. Waves of panic shot through her. In the back of her mind she was already plotting her escape.

She took a breath. "It's just something I do when I'm nervous or excited. Or upset." She paused and then shrugged. "Basically any any emotion I guess. It's called stimming." Alyssa snuck a peak at Jaime's face. There was nothing that she could read. He wasn't giving her anything.

She shifted her position on the steps, pulling her legs to her chest. "You know how Ty flaps his hands sometimes? Or rocks back and forth? It's basically the same thing. It's because we're both autistic."

Jaime finally reacted. He raised an eyebrow at her.  "But..you," he said slowly. "You're not like Ty?

Alyssa scoffed and shook her head. "No one's like anyone, Rosales. That's how human nature works.

Jaime chuckled. "Fair enough, but.." he trailed off.

Alyssa sighed. She knew what he was referring to. She didn't particularly want to be having this conversation. However there was something nagging at the bottom of her chest to spill the thoughts weighing on her. Just to have someone listen.

Wow she really needed more therapy.

"The truth is when I was a kid, I was a lot more like Ty. Or at least I think I was," she paused. "A lot of my childhood is just blanks now. I only remember little peices and it's usually the bad stuff." Alyssa pulled on her braid and stuck her fingers in the loops. "But a long time ago I think I was happy. I think I was free. But that didn't last."

She dropped her braid and looked back at Jaime. His expression remained relatively passive, although Ali swore she could read a touch of melancholy in his features.

"Anyways that's enough about me. How about you?" Alyssa reached for the bottle again even though she knew it would make her gag. "You said you would tell me why you hate yourself." She took a swig.

Jaime blew air out of his nose half-heartedly. "You say that you can't remember your childhood? I would do anything to forget mine."

Embarrassingly enough, Alyssa perked up. "Well now I'm intrigued!"

But Jaime just shook his head and swiped the bottle from her.  She tried not to look to disappointed. Alyssa knew it was rude to try and pry thing out of people that they weren't ready to talk about. She couldn't expect everyone to just trauma dump like her. But she didn't want to monopolize the conversation.

"Did you ever, like did you ever have dreams of being something other than a shadowhunter?" Alyssa asked.

Jaime smirked. "Actually yes. When I was a child I wanted to be a faerie."

Alyssa laughed out loud. Whatever she thought he was going to say it wasn't that.

Jaime shook his head. "It's so stupid."

She rained herself in. "No, no it's not! It's adorable."

Jaime shrugged. "I was always obsessed with the fae as a child, same as Cristina. Most likely because of our family's connection to them. However unlike Cristina I was very persistent. I read everything I could find, devouring those books front to back. It was one of the only things that made me truly happy."

Alyssa couldn't help but smile at the ground. She clutched at her knees. "That sounds like me with dance. The first time I saw The Ballet I was obsessed. I begged my mother to enroll me. First it was ballet, and then contemporary and then jazz.." she drifted off. She could feel the old memories coming back to her.

"It was my sanctuary," Ali bit her lip. "Like as long as I was," she rubbed her fingers together, "touching the bar or doing pirouettes in front of the mirror then nothing could hurt me." She fought the urge to sink her fingernails into her palm and instead tapped her fingers against her thigh.

"But I was wrong. I quit when I was 16 and I've been too afraid to dance since."

Jaime frowned. "Why did you quit?"

Alyssa sighed deeply, a sound that may have more closely resembled a groan. "Because I was sick of pretending to be normal and focusing on the art at the same time? Because I was sick of playing by other people's rules? Because I was sick of being mocked and ridiculed by my so-called peers." She could feel tears of frustration coming to the surface.

"Because I had spent basically my whole life stripping away peices of myself and rearranging them to please other people, Alyssa admitted. "They call it masking. Such a simple word that means so much pain."

"Because how could I call myself a dancer or an artist when everything about me was fake right down to the root of my soul? And what I didn't destroy, everyone else was sure to take care of for me. Whether it was my parents or my sister or my teachers." She realized she had started to raise her voice and looked at Jaime sheepishly.

He shook his head. "No don't worry. I think you needed that."

Alyssa scoffed. "Still. I'm really only supposed to have outbursts like that in therapy."

Jaime raised a surprised eyebrow.

"Yeah it's this whole new thing I'm trying. To try and heal myself. To try and see if I can still save a peice of that little girl who wanted to be a ballerina. That little girl who believed in goodness and the beauty of this world." She managed a small smile. "I think I owe her that much."

Jaime looked strangely pained. "And what if she can't be saved? What if you're just stuck this way?"

Alyssa shrugged. "I don't know. I just know I have to try."

They were both silent for a moment as they sat together staring out into the night sky. Alyssa continued to tap as she let her mind wander.

Then she heard a soft sound from beside her. She peered over to Jaime and noticed fondly that he was tapping along with her.

He seemed to notice her staring and blushed sheepishly.

"I haven't done that since I was a child," he murmered in disbelief. "My mother used to put her hands over mine to stop them from moving."

Alyssa let out a dry laugh. "Same. Except when I used to flap my mother would literally pin my arms at my sides. Eventually I switched to playing with my hair."

"Flap? Like this?"

Ali could hardly contain her smile as she watched Jaime begin to move his hands more boldly and shake them at his sides.

He was probably autistic and that knowledge brought her immense joy as she always loved to meet more of her neurokin. But Jaime probably wasn't ready to hear it yet.

Jaime must have seen her somber expression because he had stopped stimming and staring pensively again.

"Do you really want to know why I hate myself?" He asked casually.

If Alyssa were anyone else she might have been put off by the uprumpt and dark subject change. But she was pretty used to this way if communicating.

Jaime didn't wait for her response. "Because I am my family's disappointment."

Alyssa blew out a loud gust of air. "Well hey I mean same! Like as if being autistic wasn't enough, I've also got ADHD and cptsd, although granted that one came later. Not to mention being a big fat queer."

"I honestly don't know half of the words you just said," Jaime said with a laugh.

"Well trust me, I'm definitely not my parents' ideal daughter."

Jaime looked down at the nearly empty bottle, he was tracing the lid with his finger. "I was never what my parents wanted either. Especially not compared to my older brother Diego. I even feel guilty for harboring any sort of resentment towards him or my parents. Honoring and being loyal your family is an extremely importent part of my culture."

Alyssa smiled. "Yeah same. I think that's something that pretty much all collectivist cultures have in common. In Filipino culture we have this term, Kapwa which basically means connectedness or a shared inner self. Like essentially you are one connected family unit and what you do effects the whole family, so you should be considerate of that."

Jaime nodded. "Right. And in the beginning I wanted to be. I wanted to be good and make my family proud. But so much of what I did naturally, so much of what I wanted and naturally felt, was not in line with the rest of my family. And at a certain point I started to feel like I was a bad person. As if I was evil or there was something wrong with me because making your family proud shouldn't be this difficult."

Alyssa felt a giant pang in her chest. It was almost as though Jaime was speaking her own words back to her. She could feel the urge to cry creeping up on her like a steady wave, but she fought it.

"Diego was everything I was supposed to be and he still is," Jaime continued. An exemplary shadowhunter, a kind and respectful son. Cristina and I used to call him "Perfect Diego" because it's seemed like there was nothing he couldn't excel at."

Alyssa snorted. Jaime's description of Diego reminded her of her older sister Grace. Grace was everything that Ali wasn't or couldn't be. The perfect student and the perfect daughter with her perfect boyfriend now husband. She had recieved straight A's throughout her entire academic career and was now in medical school training to become a doctor. It was a high paying job that would allow her to repay their parents for all they had done for her as a child.

Alyssa wanted to be able to repay her parents as well for all they had gone through to get to the US, but Ali had never been a good student and in the end had just barely graduated despite all the tutors her parents had hired. She wished she could have been a savant or an autistic person with profitable skills instead of a dancer who refused to dance on other people's terms and a professional drama queen whose talents included getting into fights and then blasting Queen or David Bowie into her ears.

But then she had gotten scratched and now her main concern was on getting her cover story straight. Her parents thought she was studying psychology at a college in Brooklyn. Alyssa had actually gotten in due to her decent grades in English and she had attended for awhile before her pack duties had gotten too demanding.

Lying to her family broke her heart but it wasn't exactly like she could tell them the truth.

Alyssa smirked. "Yeah my older sister is kind of a handful too."

Jaime sighed. "Diego isn't really though. I was the handful. I-" he trailed off. "I betrayed my best friend."

At the mention of Jaime's best friend, Alyssa instantly thought of her own. She had completely lost track of time as she had the tendency to do. And when someone wasn't directly in front of her, after awhile they stopped existing.

Ty.

Ty who was waiting for her. Ty who had his boyfriend to keep him company and he probably hadn't even noticed she was gone.

It was a petty and unfair thought. Ali knew that. But she couldn't help it. That familiar ache that came from sensing abandonment. The worry that Ty didn't really care about her as much as she cared about him.

She shoved those thoughts aside. "It's ok," she told Jaime. "Whatever you did, I forgive you."

Jaime looked stunned. Alyssa could see tears welling up in his eyes. "But you don't even know what I did."

Alyssa took a deep breath. "No, but I know what you were going through. Probably better then anyone else. And I also know that you need someone to forgive you. And I know you won't forgive yourself." She tentatively reached across the porch, slowly reaching for Jaime's fingers.

She gave him time to pull away before she took his hand in hers. He didn't resist.

"So I forgive you."

Jaime inhaled deeply, probably in an effort to stop himself from crying and squeezed her hand back.

The gesture again reminded her of Ty and Alyssa's heart sank. She slowly pulled her hand back.

"Hey listen, this has been great but I really need to get inside. Ty's waiting for me," she said reluctantly.

"Oh! Mierda right of course!" Jaime exclaimed. "I'm sorry about that."

Alyssa shook her head "No it's fine It was my bad. Besides I'm sure Kit's keeping him occupied." She tried not to snarl Kit's name but the look on Jaime's face told her she was unsuccessful.

"Not a fan of the Herondale?" He asked playfully with a return of the smirk.

Alyssa sighed in a way that was probably overly dramatic, but she was nothing if not a drama queen. "He's fine I guess. I just don't trust him with Ty." She had gone back to flicking her fingers, this time in annoyance.

Jaime smirked at her. "I don't think you would trust anyone with Ty. Anyone except you."

She narrowed her gaze. "What do you mean?"

He shrugged. "People say that you're in love with him. Is that true?"

Alyssa recoiled in disgust. "Who, Kit?"

"No. Ty. Is that true?"

Alyssa was genuinely stunned. She stared blankly at Jaime without making a single expression. There were so many questions running through her mind.

How? What? Why? Huh?

Alyssa blinked rapidly. "How could anyone think that?

Jaime scoffed. "I don't know honestly. Apparently because you're always all over him and your relationship just seems really intense. At least that's what Dru said."

"So what hugging someone a lot and caring deeply for them means your feelings gave to be romantic? That's so stupid!"

"I agree," Jaime said. "It's annoying when people make those kinds of assumptions. People used to assume Cristina and I were dating back home just because we were close."

"It's beyond annoying!" Alyssa snapped. "It's so violating. That people would just assign you romantic feelings like that without a second thought. And it pisses me off because," she paused. "Look I know the friendship between Ty and me is unconventional. But my friendships have always been weird and unconventional because I'm weird and unconventional!"

"The love we have for each other isn't based on traditional rules for what platonic relationships should be. And honestly society's idea of friendship is pretty shit."

Jaime gave her a small smile. "You don't have to argue with me. Believe me I understand. It's frustrating when everyone devalues your friendships and assumes that you want a romantic relationship."

Alyssa grimaced. "Sorry. I guess I'm just kinda sensitive about this stuff. I don't want to date anyone and I don't think I ever will."

Jaime smiled. "Me neither. We can be alone together."

She smiled, feeling strangely moved by his words. In the short time they had known each other they had already bonded. Like how she and Ty had but bonded, but not at the same time.

It was refreshing to be able to talk to someone who understood her need to keep her connection to her family and her culture, as well as her drive to please them but still be allowed to honour herself. Ty's advice usually amounted to something along the lines of "just cut them out of your life."

And Alyssa knew she needed to take care of herself. In the end that was why she was in therapy. But things weren't as simple as Ty made them out to be.

And in some ways she envied him. Envied the way he could just move through this world without a care in the world and just demand things. And he could do it because in their eyes he was respectable. He was brilliant. The top of his class at the scholomance. He clearly deserved their respect.

Not Alyssa though. Never Alyssa.

She sighed and prepared herself to finally haul her ass off this porch. "I need to get through that door," she announced. "He doesn't deserve me bailing on him like this."

Jaime nodded. "Probably not."

Alyssa wasn't sure how to proceed. She always felt awkward during goodbyes.

"Well I guess I'll see you around."

"Wait!" Jaime exclaimed, getting up from his spot. "I'll come with you. Dru's probably worried about me."

They entered the institute by Jaime opening the door for them both which Ali was thankful for. If he wasn't there she would have just had to knock. The hallway looked empty, but she could hear sounds in both the dining room and the upstairs thanks to super hearing.

"I'm actually going to go dump the rest of this before I find Dru." Jaime gestured to the bottle. "I suppose we might see each other later."

"Yeah maybe," Alyssa heard herself say distantly. Her stomach was twisting in knots.

"Hey," Alyssa turned at the sound of Jaime's voice. He smiled at her, a moment of genuine emotion. "It was an honour to meet you Alyssa."

She grinned, feeling some of her old cockiness come back. "Well I should hope so. I'll see you around Jaime."

With a nod, he dissapeared into the kitchen. Leaving Alyssa alone again.

She took a breath and slowly made her way into the dining room to check for Ty.

When she entered the room his eyes immediately found her, and she was heartbroken to see how concerned he looked.

"Ali! Are you ok? I was worried!"

Alyssa meant to tell him that she was fine, that everything was fine and she was sorry for making him wait but instead she just deflated, completely disregarding the other people in the room.

"No. No I'm not ok."

Ty approached her cautiously. "What do you need?"

And hearing that made Alyssa want to scream. He was so good to her. Always. And she could never repay that. What did she even need? More therapy probably. A fucking lobotomy. Or a personality transplant. She wanted to rip herself to pieces and reassemble herself until something clicked. Until she was real and whole. Until she had become who she was meant to be.

"Hold me. Put your arms around me."

And when he wrapped her in his embrace and squeezed so tightly she honestly thought her ribs were about to crack, Alyssa honestly couldn't remember why she'd been so worried that she would lose him.

His breathing was steady against hers as she shook. Alyssa remembered a conversation with her therapist when she had asked her, "how do I move on?"

She had sighed pensively and responded with, "It's a complicated process that takes a lot of time. But the very first thing you need to do is want to move on. I think you've gotten very used to living in your anger because it's safe and familiar for you. And of course anger can be useful, but not when it's trapping you. You have to be willing to let it go."

At the time Alyssa had been furious and thought that she was full of shit. But now as she clung to Ty in this far too brightly lit kitchen, she could see how all her anger, as justified as it may be, was just masking grief.

Grief and shame.

Shame over allowing those things to happen to her. Shame over not being what her parents wanted or expected. Or over being fundamentally broken and incapable of keeping most people happy in her life.

Alyssa was ashamed of herself for all she had lost, because she still felt deep down, that it was her fault.

But it wasn't. None of it was. And if she could accept that and accept that she didn't deserve any of the things that happened to her then maybe, just maybe she could look herself in the mirror one day and say out loud, "I am not a bad person."

I am not a bad person and I deserve to be free.

Maybe someday she would believe it.

The line "nothings in control, nothing makes sense there's just pain and hate and nothing you do means anything" is a Faith Lehane quote from Angel The Series.

A lot of the information about Filipino culture that I used for this fic came from this article here. I reccomend checking it out. It's pretty interesting.

I am actually planning on writing a Ty centric fic for the month as well so keep an eye out for that!

Tagging: @lavender-scented-rat   @littlx-songbxrd   @arangiajoan   @have-a-holly-jolly-angstmas @tired-vin @phoenix-and-dragon @amchara @wagner-fell @sandersgrey @the-wckd-powers @spooky-drusilla @the-blackdale

#tsc #tda #twp #jaime rosales #alyssa reyes #fae's oc #alyssa is my oc #actually autistic #autistic acceptance month

[space-lynn]

For an Amphibia AU request, how about like a few brief snippets to provide a glimpse into the girls kind of accidentally becoming more less multiverse goddesses after tapping into the full cosmic, ethereal, and interdimensional nature of their gem powers following the defeat of Andrias and his master? Particularly, all while trying to figure out how to get back to SOME sense of normalcy between Earth and Amphibia, being thirteen year olds with unexpected reality bending powers, and accidentalling a religion or two if that’s okay with you?

This is by far, one of the best AUs I've ever seen for Amphibia. Thank you so much for this. I laughed for a good 5 minutes at the numerous possibilities in this AU. Calling it Unintentional Gods AU, if you don't mind! Enjoy reading!

~~~~~

None of this was supposed to happen.

They were only meant to defeat Andrias and his eldritch master. They were only meant to save Amphibia and Earth, and fix the damage that had been done. They weren’t meant to become gods. And they weren’t meant to save exactly 438 other planets because fuck you Andrias, for trying to invade other dimensions and worlds apart from our own.

But that’s what happened. Because apparently, having full access to the powers gifted to someone by a prophecy, to kill one very dangerous and powerful god, made them a deity. Which is what had happened to the Calamity Trio. Thirteen year old girls who were -- cursed? -- blessed with the true nature of their powers that, more or less, made them immortal beings.

They couldn’t be killed nor could they be harmed with mortal weapons, but rather themselves or others of their kind.

And of course, there was a huge shift in their powers.

Sasha was the god of energy and space. Anne was the god of creation and life. And Marcy was the god of knowledge and wisdom.

Furthermore, the fact that they were revered as gods in a lot of the worlds they’d saved and somehow, somehow, creating religions that worshipped them made things worse.

In what way? In the way that they could hear whatever prayers or requests have been said in their real names, no matter how far apart they are in the damn multiverse!

Just like now, with Marcy Wu. She was sitting at her desk in her room at Amphibia, fingers twitching at the little voices in her head.

She was only trying to write a couple of essays and suggestions that would help Olivia stabilize and support Amphibia’s new form of government. But the numerous “prayers” flitting around her mind distracted her.

Lady Wu, our enemy will not yield until we agree to their offer. But the price is too high! What do we do?

A huge winter storm is coming, goddess. I fear that our usual preparations will not suffice. Please, grant us the wisdom to make the right choice.

Mother says I should be doing this on my own, but I’d rather ask you m’lady. Do you know the answer to number 3 in my Advanced Calculus homework?

Marcy inhaled sharply at the last one, then smacked her head on the table in exasperation.

“Your mom’s right, kid,” she muttered. “You should do it on your own.”

More voices whispered in her head, their requests and prayers a mix of important things like strategizing a war, or unimportant ones such as the answer to their own damn homeworks!

She stood up, sighing and walking out of her room and to the building’s main hall. If she wanted to get some work done in rebuilding Amphibia’s government, she’d need to deal with the other worlds first. Out of the three of them, Marcy’s fortunate enough to have lesser planets that worship her compared to Anne and Sasha. Despite 103 planets being a large number, it was nothing compared to Anne’s 139 and Sasha’s 196. No planet worshipped 2 of them or all 3, what with each of them individually saving that much and accidentally creating a religion in each world.

She winced at her friends’ misfortunes, worried that it would be proving too much for them.

-----

She arrived at the hall, in time to see Anne walk through the door on the opposite side. She had a tired frown on her face, but it eased up into a smile at the sight of Marcy.

“Hey, Marshmallow.”

“Hey, Anna-Banana!”

“Just got back from another dimension?”

“Yup!”

Marcy smiled, but it dropped a little, “Sasha’s still out?”

Anne sighed, rubbing her arm, “Yeah… It’s been 6 months.”

“She hasn’t contacted you, too, huh?”

Anne chuckled humorlessly, “Mhm.”

“Hey,” Marcy said, walking towards the brunette and placing a hand on her shoulder, “it’s Sasha. She’ll be fine.”

“Yeah… Yeah, you’re right.” Anne smiled at her. “Heading out?”

“Yep, couldn’t focus on work with all the voices.”

“Understandable, it’s the first time in days that I’ve been free from them, and it’s so…” Anne waved her hands around.

“Refreshing?”

“Yeah.”

Marcy chuckled before wincing, another dumb prayer crossing her mind.

Anne noticed and smirked, “That bad?”

“You have no idea,” the shorter of the two grumbled,the taller laughing.

“Well, I’ll let you get to it. Stay safe out there, Mar Mar.”

“I will.”

-----

She visited ‘her’ planets, aiding them and telling their respective religious leaders some ground rules. Thankfully, they understood her busy schedule and had agreed. She knows it won’t work, but it’s the best she could do right now.

She came back to Amphibia by the end of the day, slipping into her room. She smiled upon seeing Anne asleep on the bed, and went to work cleaning up some of the mess on her desk. She changed her clothes into something more comfortable, slipping into the bed beside Anne and wincing as a couple prayers made their way into her head. She sighed as she lay there, staring up at the canopy of her bed.

She really needed to find a way to manage all these requests. She already had a lot on her plate, traveling back and forth between Earth and Amphibia, being Olivia’s advisor, supporting and stabilizing the new government, being Newtopia’s ambassador of peace whenever they had to deal with the human government, and being a goddess who knows everything that had happened and will happen.

It was exhausting, having so much to do. She rarely visited Earth, dropping out of school (useless now with her infinite knowledge) and opting to avoid her parents who left California without her.

But she’ll manage. She’s come this far, so she will manage.

~~~~~

I hope y'all enjoyed reading! Will be posting 2 more based off of this AU for Anne and Sasha, so stay tuned for that! Have a good morning, afternoon or evening. Until the next snippet!

You could request for more if y'all have ideas.

#amphibia #amphibia fanfic #fanfic snippet #asks #fermented-writers-block #anne boonchuy #marcy wu #snippet request #unintentional gods au #i like this idea very very much #sorry it took me long #school's keeping me busy

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with MustangSally

MustangSally has 33 stories at Gossamer. Even if you haven’t read it, you’ve probably heard of at least one of them, Iolokus, since it’s an X-Files fanfic classic. All her fics hit big and are well worth your time. I’ve recced some of my favorites here before, including And Dance by the Light of the Moon, All the Children are Insane, and Iolokus. Big thanks to MustangSally for doing this interview.

What's the story behind your pen name?

I could tell you but then I would have to kill you.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

Yes and no. Yes, because life has moved on since the early nineties and the characters and the fans are in vastly different places now. Our current tech would make the premise of the X-Files impossible. No, because of the longevity of some of the Star Trek TOS work (there’s an archive of hard copy fanzines at the University of Iowa). Top-drawer authors started out in TOS fandom.

I’m just greatly saddened that my physical body is showing wear and tear while the fic doesn’t. Fic gets to stay smooth-skinned and muscular, captured at the peak of perfection.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

At the risk of sounding atrociously trite, I think of the friends I made.  I met some very remarkable women that I’ve been able to stay friends with online for over twenty-five years.  We may have moved to Facebook and post entirely too much about our pets and which of our body parts has sagged this week, but we’re friends.  It’s a furiously funny, feminist, and well-educated group of women with jobs in the highest levels of academia, finance, communications, and media.  I’m amused by the fact that if I have a question about how a virus replicates, I can ask a PhD I’ve been drunk with in Las Vegas.

Back in the day, I had a job that sent me traveling around major cities in the US and UK. I could post on a message board and within ten minutes there were people I could go out for dinner and drinks with. We already knew we had something we could talk about for at least a couple of hours. Additionally, most of these people were women so there was an added level of security. Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

Well, it was mostly atxc and the Yahoo! groups mailing lists that spiraled out into Geocities sites and, eventually, LiveJournal. The amusing thing is that getting in on the ground floor of social media and the Internet has helped me get jobs!  When I look at a new piece of software, I think, ‘this is hella easier than uploading to Geocities.’  We had to walk uphill both ways, in the snow, on dial-up, fighting off dinosaurs with our AOL CDs while writing HTML code. What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

DO NOT FEED THE TROLLS.

The past four years in politics have basically been the ugliest online kerfuffle the world has ever seen. I survived the Shipper Wars of ’96 and I thought those were brutal, but that was NOTHING. The only way to win an argument online is to not have the argument at all. Arguing with a troll is like mudwrestling a pig: You both get filthy and only the pig is happy.

Also, READ THE FUCKING TERMS OF SERVICE.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

I had the most terrible straight-girl crush on Scully. I wanted to be her best friend, I wanted to BE her.  I wanted to order Chinese food and paint each other’s nails and talk about bones.  Scully and Princess Leia and I could all just hang out poolside with hot and cold running waiters and poolboys, drink margaritas, and bitch about how unfair it all was – if the stupid men would just get OUT OF THE WAY AND LET US DO OUR JOBS, the world would be so much better. What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

This question is really about Iolokus, isn’t it?  You can’t fool me. [Lilydale note: I can neither confirm nor deny the motivation for this question, but I cannot complain about the answer.]

Simply put, I was enraged. The moment it was revealed that Scully’s ova had been used in experimentation, I lost my feminist mind. It was the most obscene defilement imaginable.  Scully wasn’t nearly as angry as I was.  What I thought needed to happen was for Scully to become a fiery force of vengeance against the MEN who had done this to her.  Clearly, I was not going to get that level of satisfaction from the show, as I was imagining Kali-like carnage on a global scale. I emailed RivkaT (whom I did not know well at that point) with a proposition that we work together. Strangely enough, we didn’t meet face to face until we were well into the project, but we did talk on the phone quite a bit. The rules were simple – everyone had to be punished in truly horrific ways, and at some point, we had to see if we could write a car chase (only because that seemed impossible).  Then it basically turned into a very twisted game of chicken to see who could be the most outrageous in terms of killing people off or writing really horrific things that fit within the structure of the narrative.  I did, in the end, write the car chase, but RivkaT one-upped me by throwing in a helicopter (a FOX News helicopter, at that).  

Really, RivkaT?  A helicopter? What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom? I am terribly proud of what I wrote, pleased that it brought pain and pleasure in equal amount to people, and, again, thrilled by the people I became friends with. I admit that I stopped watching the show when Scully announced her pregnancy.  I could only see a long jump over a shark tank for the rest of the series. I haven’t watched the new episodes, either.  It is complete in my mind and doesn’t need to be continued.  I wouldn’t say no to having a reunion with some of my fic friends, although we’re still chatting online like everyone does.   Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

Rivka and I wrote in the Buffy fandom for a few years, but then we moved on to real adult jobs that left absolutely no time for me to write. I’m in education, and I regularly sweat blood for fear that someone is going to find my old fic. The Buffy people were fun; there was a certain *shininess* to them that I really enjoyed. The X-men authors were just batshit and delightful, and some amazing stuff came out of Marvel fandom, particularly in the Thor/Loki and Steve/Bucky subgenres. I’ve learned to appreciate a good coffee shop AU and one famous Erik/Charles fic where all the main characters are crabs. Seriously, crabs—it’s hysterical. [Lilydale note: Other Crabs Cannot Be Trusted by groovyphilia currently has almost 2,500 kudos at AO3.]

Every few years, I’ll have a student try to explain to me what fandom is and I just smirk. Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully? No. Not really. Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom? I fell into an X-Men hole a few years back and had a great old time wallowing in the Cherik muck, and there was a flirtation with BBC Sherlock as well. Strangely enough, I became interested in A/B/O fics only because of what they were saying about the role of women in our society. The limitations on the male omegas seem absurd and then you realize those are the same limitations put on women all. the. time.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

RivkaT very nicely formatted everything and put it up on AO3. What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

I will always be stupidly proud of how shocked and horrified people were by Iolokus. The truth of the matter is that Iolokus has Greek drama at its core. Scully is Medea, and the entire story is lousy with “blood on the threshing floor” and Dionysian rites. The everyday is subverted into horror, and wives and daughters will tear men limb from limb like the Maenads. Since I was ultimately disappointed with what Chris Carter did with the entire show, that approach seemed appropriate.

At a certain level, all fic is corrective fic.  Like critic Anne Jamison said, “Irritated fans produce fanfic like irritated oysters produce pearls.”  And because fic has fallen so much into women’s sphere, a pure form of correction is not just the death of the author but the MURDER, a new creation springing up from the spilled blood like Cadmus sowing dragon’s teeth.

Okay, that’s a bit much. Maybe I should just take myself back to the isle of Goth Amazons or something. Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

I had to write a self-evaluation and a reflection on pedagogy today. If that’s not fiction, I don’t know what the fuck is.

All my creativity is caught up in trying to pretend to be a normal middle-aged white woman so no one knows I am really a lizard.

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

Keep writing, keep reading, keep fighting the commercialization of narratives. As things grow more and more commodified, all our dreams and desires reduced to tchotchkes made in China, it’s a revolutionary act to separate your work from the marketplace. Be bold, take chances, turn the trope on its ear and kick it in the ass. Take everything the creators have done to make a work palatable to the unwashed masses and set it on fire.

Be subversive.

Be mean.

Have a great fucking time.

(Posted by Lilydale on March 2, 2021)

#old school x #xfiles fanfic #xf fanfic #xf fanfic author interviews #mustangsally

[jarofstyles]

Fan Club VI

A/N: After the emotional turmoil part 5 caused, here is some sweet sweet redemption from Mr. Styles. One part left to go after this!! - n + d

send feedback and requests here

masterlist

pairing: Harry Styles x Reader

warnings: smut, drug use (weed)

word count: 15k

It was good. The whole thing was going spectacularly well and Harry couldn’t be happier. Y/N had gotten him out of his shell a little bit and while it had only been a little while, he was adjusting very well with being with Y/N for real. In fact, he got quite clingy. He was nearing in on thinking he may love her. His Aquarius side made him double back and check but every sign was there. So he made an effort to do much more than what was asked of them. He had her over a lot, and visited her at the bakery nearly every morning for coffee, and he texted her all the time. Enough that she had gotten scolded at work about it. 

‘Hi, kitten. Can you come out with me for lunch? Casual. Just miss you. Xxxxxx’ 

Harry wanted to see her for both of their lunch hours. It was something he really was trying to do right by them. Make time for them even in the most hectic stages.

Y/N was nearing her break time, fully ready to go and grab something to eat. It was quite slow today, so she had been catching up on preparing dough to freeze. Now that she was officially dating Harry the bakery actually saw a lot more customers. They often had to bake off more goods throughout the day, which never used to happen. If there were any fans that came in, they didn’t act like they were. Her phone vibrated in her apron and she smiled, seeing as Harry had asked her out for lunch. Katya didn’t mind letting Y/N go out during her work day if it was to see Harry, she knew he was a busy man and that later in the year she wouldn’t see him much at all. 

‘hi bunny, where abouts shall I meet you? 🥰’

‘Little cafe a few streets over. I’ll meet you there.’

She had never been happier. Y/N let herself go completely with Harry, everyone had noticed how much cheerier she has gotten since being with him. Also the regular sex helped. “I’m going for my lunch. Meeting Harry nearby, so... I’ll be back in an hour or so? Text me if there’s a rush.”

Harry was beyond excited. It was the neediest he had ever felt in a relationship, if he was being truthful. Y/N took it all in stride but he would get Whiny when she couldn’t stay the night, or always asked for one more kiss. It was most likely because he was finally comfortable around her. Vulnerable. He was okay with pouting and hugging at her and she took it all with a wide smile on his face. And now that his mother and sister knew they were really dating, they were dying to get to know her. He had gotten a few texts that they’d followed her Instagram, which had amassed half a million followers. In branding terms, it was one of the most successful relationships in PR. It was real now though. Harry was going to insist she take the money for it because she had to deal with him, even if she didn’t use it on herself. He pulled in and got them a table near the back, waiting patiently for his girl to come in. He missed her and it had only been a few hours since he’d come in for coffee. Of course the bakery staff loved when he came in, because he tipped heavily and gave high praises.

A short five minutes later Y/N had made it to the cafe, spotting Harry near the back as he often tended to do. She had seen him earlier, but she really couldn’t help but mentally comment on how cute he looked. Be it the fan in her piping up. Y/N smiled one of her wide smiles at him, jogging a little to him with open arms as she got closer to him. 

“Hi baby.” She cooed, hugging him before pecking his lips softly. “How’s your day been so far?” 

“My, sweet girl.” Harry sighed. It was a relief to feel her back in his arms. It was a bit embarrassing how much Harry worried about her. It was sad because there had been 2 times he would panic and she would call him back and promise she was okay, she was showering or driving. But now that he had a person he cared this much about, it was overwhelming. It was like once he let go of that fear a bit, the emotion flowed in very quickly and absorbed into his brain. Harry loved it though, really did like how he felt so much for her. She looked utterly adorable in a rainbow striped shirt and some cuffed jeans, and it made him want to coo. “Look so cute.” He sighed, squeezing her hip before helping her sit. It wasn’t needed but he wanted to. It had been a long day so he had gone casual. 

Y/N was a smiley mess when she was with him, she swore he’d give her premature wrinkles on her baby face if he kept at it. “thank you, so do you... that shirt makes your chest look good.” She commented on his outfit, genuinely enjoying the sight. She liked his casual attire.

“S’been okay. Went to the gym and then down for album clean up. You know how it’s been lately.” Hectic. “Wanted to bring you with me to the studio tomorrow, actually. If that works. I want you to hear a few songs.” 

“You want me to come with you?” Y/N said excitedly. “Tomorrow? Yeah I can do.” Y/N nodded, knowing she kept all of her days off free for him. “I’ll go home real quick after work and grab some things and I’ll come over.” She nodded, knowing he’d want to see her tonight because he was being extra needy. Y/N looked over the menu, finding something she was in the mood for. “Is it weird to have pasta for lunch? Cause I want pasta.” She spoke half to him and half to herself. “I’m gonna get the gnocchi in the red sauce. There is tons of cheese on it.” Y/N rubbed her hands together with excitement.

“Not weird at all, baby. Don’t worry.” Harry really didn’t think Y/N could do any wrong at this point. She was lighting up his life. He hadn’t been this happy in a long time and he would do anything to keep it going. The fact she was sleeping over again was even better to him. It meant kisses and cuddles and perhaps a good round of sex. That was something else he looked forward to. It had been amazing. Something he couldn’t ever forget in his life. Harry was set for it. 

“That sounds perfect. Think m’gonna get... a veggie burger probably. Sweet potato fries. They’ve got that organic raspberry lemonade here, so I’ll get that as well.” He was on a bit of an organic kick, another reason he suggested this place. They wouldn’t talk about the dominos he ordered 4 nights ago after good sex. Nope.

Y/N smiled at how excited he was about the raspberry lemonade, he was so cute. “That sounds tasty, I’ll have one too.” She said, closing the menu and setting it to the side. Dating Harry was like a dream. He fed her well, gave her attention, fucked her good. There was nothing else she needed. He seemed happy as well and that is what was most important. 

The fans feedback was something that surprised Y/N. She tried to stay offline mainly because she had a nasty habit of reading comments. To be honest, most of them were really nice and made her smile, others were— filled with jealousy. There were a lot of comments about how they’d never seen Harry this happy and how they loved that she was a normal girl. It’s what she liked to hear really. 

“I’m actually really excited to go to the studio with you, Aw.” Y/N smiled, “it’ll be fun to see you in your element.” She was beyond excited to meet everyone on his team on the music side of things, his band mates. Y/N loved the music side of things, she would love to see how it was done.

“I just am excited to get you into all the aspects of my life.” It was weird. For how commitment-phobic Harry had been before, he was ready right now to integrate her into every part he possibly could. Weave her into any fiber and keep memories wherever he was able to get them. Maybe it was a bit of fear of losing her but, majority was just because he was truly falling for her every moment. “Everyone is very excited to meet you, my darling. Especially my mum...” He winced as she choked slightly on the provided water. They had to act casual when the waitress took their order, but he felt her eyes burning into him as skin as she left. “Babe... she called me and I couldn’t stop talking about you and how we had been hanging around a lot and s’why I haven’t called much. I told her what happened lately and now she’s been biting at me to try and get the both of you together. Gems as well.” He knew Y/N was a little intimidated by his mum and sister but there was no reason to be. They already quite liked her from what they saw. “Oh— and I dunno if you follow them but, they’ve followed your Instagram.”

His mum? Oh god. Y/N couldn’t have been more nervous now that Anne was aware of her existence, knowing what was out there on the internet. It was a natural step though, she knew Harry would want her to meet them at some point. But being a fan of Harry’s meant knowing who his family were and adding them on socials. Y/N took another sip of her drink as he told her that they followed her on Instagram, she nearly choked again. 

“They did?” Y/N asked, setting the drink down. “Of course I follow them, babe, been a fan for a long time of course I’m going to follow your mom and sister. Do you even follow me on Instagram?” She thought that was actually sweet that they had gone and followed her before having met her. Y/N knew she had nothing to be nervous about, but she was. They were so important to Harry and she wanted them to approve.

“Wait... I don’t.” Harry wasn’t huge with social media at all. 9/10 he was playing phone games or messaging someone or watching videos but he hadn’t realized he hadn’t followed her yet. That was the stupidest thing. So he took the phone out, handed it to her with a large grin on his face. “Type it in for me, but I wanna be the one to press the button.” He was being silly but he knew that the fangirl in Y/N would be grateful for that. He loved it too. How she sometimes got giddy looking at him. It was easy to tell. 

Y/N took his phone and searched for her name, shocked when she saw the sheer amount of followers she had gained. “Can’t believe you’re mom and sister followed me before you.” Y/N laughed, shaking her head as she handed him the phone. 

“Wait wait wait, let me take a video.” Y/N giggled, pulling out her phone and hit record. “Here is the moment I’ve been waiting for, go on babes.” She cooed, smiling as he hit the button and continued to film just because she thought he looked cute. She did that thing where she zoomed in on his face, “Ugh choke me king.” She ended the video after catching his reaction and laughed. 

Harry heard her phone ding. Finally. “Feel like an idiot. You’re with me every night and not even following you.” He shook his head. “Never gonna unfollow now. Unless you stop making lemon bars. Cause... I’d be very upset with you.” He teased. He really did eat his weight in them. “But they already really like you, love. Really. My mum keeps sayin’ how cute you are and how sweet you seem.”

“Honestly, it’s fine. A follow from you is not worth as much as a quality cuddle.” Y/N admitted and took a sip of her lemonade. Harry’s social media presence was always under a microscope but she was positive that people didn’t question why he hadn’t followed her. “aw wait really? She’s an angel. I watch her Instagram stories of the cats and they make my day.” Y/N blushed, “but I am excited to meet them. Nervous, but excited.”

“She’s probably got a kitten lined up for you to adopt. Swear. She sets up all of the people I bring around with cats. My sister, her boyfriend. My childhood friends. She’s a cat whisperer.” Harry wasn’t even kidding. Anne has a way with them and matches them to humans. “Also, why did you ask me to choke you? I mean, I will. But later.” He was a bit stupid when it came to fan language, but Y/N seemed to know that type of stuff. He figured she had an account but he only went on every so often. It was amazing to think that she was already familiar with his habits. Some may find it weird but he loved it. “You’ll get both that and a quality cuddle at home but, you’re an odd biscuit.” Harry sniffed out a laugh before putting his phone down. He would be searching through her account far and wide today and have questions later. 

Y/N laughed a proper laugh at his comment, “you really don’t check twitter as much as people think you do, huh baby?” She asked and reached out to take his hand just cause she wanted to hold it. “It’s like... when you find someone really attractive, in Internet culture it’s common to say things that are super outrageous that you would think to yourself but usually not say out loud.” Y/N tried her best to explain but it was just a strange concept. “So when I say, choke me king, I mean it... but also it’s just another way of saying you look really hot.” Y/N smiled, laughing a bit because she felt like it was common knowledge, but then again Harry wasn’t a hardcore stan. “promise me you won’t judge me for what I’ve said about you on the internet.” She knew better wouldn’t, but he would tease her. 

“Not going to judge you, my love. I don’t judge other fans whether. Everyone has their little vice. Their words. Their hobbies. Some people have me as their hobby or distraction? That’s great. I’m happy I can be that for them.” He had an appreciation for them that ran deep. Every single one. “But I’m interested to learn what it is. The lingo and all that. I want to learn about the culture and be more aware of it.” He suggested. “Can you teach me tonight?” Y/N would be the perfect tutor. She was a fan for years. “Now. The real question— what did you want to do for dinner tonight? Go out or eat in.” He figured eat in. “Probably will do take away because I’ll be too tired to cook. But you’ve got your key, yeah? I’ll leave some cash with you when we leave and you just order what you want for when I get home.” He could come home to Y/N in his house and that was incredibly amazing.

“You read my mind.” Y/N hummed, “I’ll figure out something for food, just text me when you’re on your way.” She had wanted to cook for him. She figured it would be something nice she could do for her man after a long day at work. It was essentially just a domestic simulator. She also wanted to pick something else out to wear underneath one of his t shirts. She had a really good idea.

“I’m excited to hang out with you tonight, love. I know it’s every night but I just don’t get tired of it. You make me so happy, you know that?” Harry's voice dropped, a shy smile on his mouth as he grabbed her smaller hand. “I hope m’not annoying.”

Y/N pouted in awe, squeezing his hand a little tighter at what he said. “Aw angel.” She said softly, “I swear I’m the happiest girl in the world all because of you.” She spoke quietly to him. Harry got shy around her sometimes and it made her heart swell up because he was her baby and he was the sweetest man alive. “Could never annoy me, you keep forgetting I’ve been enamored by you for nearly 10 years.” It was true. She doubted he could ever annoy her, she has spent every day of her life of the past 9 years thinking about him in some way shape or form. Y/N loved his attention and truly felt like she needed to be smothered in it after being so deprived.

Harry really did fear annoying her. He was still working on making it up to her for hurting her. It was clear that Y/N was basically over it and thrived off of the coddling and attention she got now but he still worried about it. From his past relationships, he was told he was a bit clingy and smothering and boring. Y/N hadn’t made him feel any of those things. 

“It tickles me that you were a fan. I love it. Makes me sad that I didn’t meet you beforehand though, at the shows... we could have been together for a long time before this.” Harry knew that he would have found her incredibly attractive even before. There was just something so incredibly drawing about Y/N that had Harry in awe. “I’m so lucky I met you.” He often became soft when it came to Y/N. The girl pulled things and emotions out of him he had never really been comfortable showing. “I’m happy that you aren’t annoyed though. Cause I plan on being around you for as long as you let me.”

Never did Y/N think that she would end up in the position that she was in right now. With Harry sitting across from her, looking and speaking to her in awe. She felt like she was the real life ‘Y/N’. Everything that happened in the last 5 months would say so. “Well you don’t really meet fans that much do you? Have to be insanely lucky.” Y/N said, stirring the straw in her drink. “You really think you would have fancied me?” She blushed at her own question, “would you have seen me and wanted to get to know me? I can’t imagine you’d ever do that.” Y/N said softly, feeling like it was unrealistic. Sure she thought she was beautiful, but she didn’t think she was show stopping or anything like Harry was making her out to be. Especially in her younger years. “We are lucky to have met each other.” Y/N smiles fondly, squeezing his hand a bit more. She really was lucky that Jeff had found her and picked her out of a bunch of contenders. She wondered what made Jeff pick her, wondered why she was the first person they asked and that they were insistent on having Harry date.

She truly didn’t understand just how attractive Harry thought she was, or how amazing he found her. Which was sad but also, he could understand. Millions adored him, apparently, and he couldn’t process how or why. Still. He wished Y/N could see her how he saw her. 

“I think I would have. But I know you won’t believe me, so.” He chuckled at her, shaking his head before he finished off his food. In the front, he could see two fans patiently waiting. “Hey— Wait, Y/N? There’s two fans up there. I want to go say hi and thank them for not interrupting but I dunno if you want to come or not.”

They hadn’t run into many fans at all because of their planning times, but now he was quite excited to. He did keep to himself and met fans when he came across them but he knew how to camouflage or blend into the streets. He was to himself and both he and Y/N had gone to get purposely photographed, but this was different. It was his favorite when fans waited for him and didn’t just interrupt.

Y/N turned her head to look at the fans, smiling at them and waving. She then turned to Harry, “I’m sure they just want to meet you babe, I can’t stay back it’s okay! If you want me to come with you I will.” Y/N said softly, genuinely not wanting to encroach on Harry’s time with his fans. 

If she was in the fans position, she’d want personal time with Harry and though she knew the fans quite liked her she still didn’t want to assume they wanted to meet her when they actually wanted to just meet Harry. She felt like the girls were super kind though, seeing as they had the decency to wait and not interrupt when they were clearly on a date. Y/N didn’t mind him going to meet his fans at all, in fact she would let him take his good old time. She knew how important it was for the both of them, and frankly, Y/N wanted everyone to love up on her boyfriend. She’d have all the time in the world with him.

“Come with me.” Harry suggested, taking her hand in his and throwing some money on the table. Enough for a good tip, and then some. Her small hand felt secure in his as he approached, only dropping it when he went to hug the both of them. 

“I’m sorry if we’re bothering you.” One said shyly. “We didn’t want to interrupt.”

Harry just smiled. “Not at all. You didn’t interrupt, I appreciate you waiting.” The girls were giddy, and it was adorable. 

“Oh— Y/N, right? we follow your instagram. You’re so pretty. All your photos are amazing but you’re even prettier in person.” 

“Oh my god, thank you so much.” Y/N cooed, going in to hug them without them asking. They were so sweet, they deserved all the hugs possible. Harry was proud of that. People were complimenting his girlfriend and loving her and he was thriving because of it. Everyone loves Y/N. That’s how it should be. 

“You did really good, Harry. She’s so nice.” The other one said shyly. He could feel his ego expanding as he nodded. 

“I did indeed. Now. Did we want photos?”

“Here, let me take them.” Y/N offered, taking about twenty photos on each of the girls phones at different angles because she knew that’s what she would have wanted. “Give me a silly one now, go on.” She directed, knowing that it would be really cute if each of the girls had variations. Again, it’s what she would have wanted. “Do you guys have Twitter?” Y/N asked with a hum, “mind if I give you guys a follow?” She asked shyly. She really liked stan Twitter and just because she was dating Harry now didn’t mean that she wouldn’t still tweet about him.

It was a few photos and chatting, and Y/N had stolen the show. It’s just how it was. She giggled with the other fan as they took their photos and when they switched so the other girl could take her pictures, it was the same thing. Y/N had her own little friends now. Harry’s interest was stroked. Oh? A twitter. He hadn’t even thought about that. A damn Twitter. Fucks sake, she had a fan account! He had to find it. There had to be some funny and sweet things tweeted on there, right? He sure as hell hoped they were sweet, anyways. Some of his fans could drag him to filth and he knew it. While funny— he wasn’t sure what Y/N would be like. 

“Yes! Yes, we would love that.” 

Y/N followed the both of them, smiling as she saw they were already following her and it made her feel all soft inside. It was really sweet. “okay amazing, I’ll be seeing you on my timeline then.” Y/N hummed and pushed a few pieces of hair behind her ear. 

Harry watched with a little smile as she exchanged twitter stuff with them and was so fucking happy. None of his other relationships had gone too well with fans. Same with the girls. They’d not really been the biggest fan of the fans, ironically. They could be invasive and rude to protect him but, he knew it was all in the love of their hearts.

“I hate to cut this off ladies, but Y/N has to go back to work. Her sister will be a pouty puppy if she’s late.” He said regretfully, gently placing his hand on Y/N’s shoulder. “Lovely to meet you both!”

Y/N looked over at Harry, almost forgetting that he was there for a moment but he was right. She set her hand over his, “it was so nice to meet you, have a great rest of your day!” She spoke, watching as the two of them turned to walk off before going to give Harry a hug. “That was so cute.” Y/N hummed, “can’t believe they were so nice, I was almost expecting them to just give me a small hello but that was— Aw.” She was truly happy they accepted her as his girlfriend. She knew that fans had never been approving of his girlfriends so it meant a lot that she made the cut. “You’re also so cute with them, I cry.”

“It was incredibly cute, but you were the reason.” Harry laughed. God. He adored this sweet thing so much. “It’s so nice to see fans love a girlfriend of mine so much. They really aren’t huge on people in my life and are so overprotective— well, you obviously know that.” He forgot for a moment that she knew all too well because she had been a fan once. “Speaking of, actually... I want to know what you all thought of my other relationships. Think about it and tell me tonight during my cute little fan talk lessons.” He had to part with her at his car, pouting slightly when he kissed her a few times. She tasted like the raspberry lemonade they’d been sipping on. “Here’s the money for the take away, just order whatever you want and go home before me.” He didn’t realize he was calling it home so much. But it was too soon to ask her to move in. Right? Yeah. So he just tried to get her over as much as possible.

Y/N raised her brows as he told her he wanted to hear about what she thought about his past relationship. “Are you sure you want to know?” She asked, pecking his lips quickly because she couldn’t resist it. Plus, Harry was okay with them kissing in public which was nice. “Alright, baby.” Y/N hummed, pecking his lips a few more times before giving him one last hug. “I’ll see you later. Have fun at the studio.” She told him before going off into the bakery where she was met by her smiling sister. Katya was just so happy to see her so happy.

The rest of the work day went by pretty quickly and Y/N was happy about it. The little break in between really did help. She quickly nipped home to pack an outfit to wear to the studio tomorrow, but also to change into something more cozy adding something saucy underneath. He wouldn’t suspect a thing. Y/N had also decided to pop by the grocery store on her way to Harry’s, getting some ingredients for a nice stir fry that she intended to cook up in time for him to come home to. She felt like it would be much more sweet than take away, they always ended up ordering out when they were together.

Harry had a long day in the studio, and he was tired. All he wanted was to curl in the bed with Y/N and play the food television channel and have her play with his hair. It had been on his mind all day that he was going home to her and he was so unbelievably excited about it. 

‘Comin home now my kitten (: xxxx’ 

He had sent her that before getting in the car, sighing happily as he turned it on to start the journey home. He was buzzing over the idea of Y/N just living there. Coming home to her and not having an empty home. Maybe she could expand the bakery chain they had to LA and stay there when he did more recording? Wishful thinking but, he wanted to have her at all times even if it wasn’t possible. However the day got even better when he got home and stepped into the kitchen, seeing a sight that he was beginning to hope was a forever thing. Y/N had the music on his speaker, swinging her hips as she sang along to some music. But more importantly, she was cooking dinner and there was a plate of lemon bars on the counter. 

“Think I’ve died and gone to heaven.” Harry was incredibly down for a domestic night in. What others had said was boring, Y/N was voluntarily doing it for him.

Y/N started cooking when Harry sent her the text, wanting to make sure it was nice and hot. She had taken the liberty of making herself at home as she usually did, connecting to the speaker and just jamming out as she took over his kitchen. Y/N wanted to make it as thoughtful as possible considering Harry had been so sweet to her, setting the table all cute with some candles. She also had made sure to bring some lemon bars over for him to have on hand. He loved those things. She heard him come in, lifting her head up and smiling one of her wide smiles at him for the third time today. Y/N was always happy to see him. 

“Rightly so, cause you’re an angel.” Y/N commented, running over to greet him properly. She wrapped her arms around his neck and got on her tippy toes to be level with him so she could kiss him. “You sir, go change and get all comfy. I’m just finishing up with dinner, it should be around 5 minutes.” She told him, pecking his lips once again. Y/N wasn’t sure what’s gotten into her today, but she was feeling super appreciative today. Even more so than usual.

“Mm, I dunno...” Harry muttered. “Should just have you for dinner, hm?” He playfully nipped her bottom lip and felt the girl squeak and giggle as he gently tickled her sides. There was something about her in his clothes, in his kitchen and making the both of them food that was utterly arousing to him. Beyond it. He wanted to bend her over the counter but his stomach had growled in protest. “I’ll change and freshen up. Keep lookin’ proper fit and making good food.” He playfully swatted her behind before placing his keys on the counter and working up the stairs to his room. He changed into a Grey sweater and some basketball shorts, leaving his feet covered in socks. A beanie was thrown on too, knowing that Y/N had mentioned it to him a few days ago when she saw it in his closet.

“Later, later...” Y/N hummed, smiling smugly at him at his comments. She was just so glad he was home, she felt like she could finally relax and she was finally content. “go.” She pecked his lips again, deciding she too would smack his ass as he turned around to head up stairs. That really was her man. 

Y/N was getting lit to her playlist, various types of music on there including some trap, because who didn’t love listening to some trashy trap music from time to time? It was good hype music too. “You know why these bitches love me? Cause baby don’t give a fuck. I be fixin' the weave while she suckin' my dick pull it out, then I titty fuck” She rapped along to the lyrics of ‘Cash Shit’, startled as Harry started to speak. 

“It smells amazing, sweetheart.” Harry walked into the kitchen to see her swinging her butt around, yelping when he spoke. “What? Why are you stopping the show?”

Y/N turned down the music a bit, blushing a bit and went to plate the food as it was ready. She looked at Harry as he asked why she stopped the show, shaking her head. “Cause you can get a private one later.” She shrugged, deciding that would be more effective than whatever she was doing in this kitchen.

Harry brows raised up and he took her word for it. A private show? Hell yeah. When he had been spooked at the strippers for his 19th birthday party, he would be very happy to see his Y/N run around and dance for him. Especially in his clothes. 

“I’m hungry, so I can wait for the show.” He laughed, turning the music down and grabbing the plate she had made up to bring it to the table. He grabbed the drinks and set the table up for them, humming as he did so. It hadn’t been very long at all with Y/N being his real girlfriend, but it was the most comfortable he had ever been with someone. He would tell her that later but he was relishing in the comfortable and warm energy in the home.

Y/N walked over to the table once everything was in order, taking a seat next across from Harry. She lit the candles she placed on the table, winking at Harry as she did so. “Some romantic ambiance.” She teased, setting the lighter down before looking down at her food. She loved stir fry and asian cuisine in general, she thought it was delicious and quite easy to make. Y/N took a forkful into her mouth and moaned, doing a little dance. It was really good, she hoped that he enjoyed it. 

“How was the rest of your day? How’d the studio session go?” She asked, genuinely curious because well, she loved hearing him talk about music. Y/N was sure he never got tired of talking about it, but also, it was different talking to her about it than an interviewer per say. “The bakery was quite busy... it’s getting super busy lately and I think it’s because of you actually... you’re a loyal customer and now everyone wants to try.”

Harry loved her reactions to food. She always got so excited and pleased with it and gave adorable little reactions that had him nearly cooing. Even before they were together together, he had found it endearing. 

“The session was good. Finishing up a song. You’ll be at the tail end tomorrow which is kind of boring but also interesting. It’s a lot of re—recording things that aren’t just right, moving things around, trying different takes. But I think you’ll enjoy it. You always seem interested in it.” He felt that she would be the perfect candidate for a third ear. “I’m glad we can get people in there to try. They’re bound to end up repeating customers too.” He had no doubt. “I’m excited to see how much it grows from now on. If I can help in any way, I would really like to.” It was an honest offer. When he took a bite, he hummed happily. “Hm. This is really good, baby.” He complimented. “‘Not only a little baker, but a cute chef on my hands too?”

It warmed Y/N’s heart to know that he wanted to help her with the bakery the best he could. She and Katya put her heart and soul into it, so to see it start to take off was truly incredible. “Thank you baby.. and I’m glad to hear you had a good day.” It just seemed like the two of them seeing each other throughout the day improved their work ethic too. They really were so good for each other. “A domestic goddess I am.” She joked, taking another bite because she really was hungry as well. “I figured it would be nice to cook for you since we’ve been eating out so much. Have a nice relatively healthy meal.” Y/N shrugged and took a sip of her water. She truly didn’t mind cooking either, much like baking it was one of her passions. “I’ve known you for how long now? Like 5 months and we’ve been properly dating for like a month?” Y/N wasn’t exactly sure, she had to look, but roughly those were the numbers. “Wow...” she chuckled to herself, realizing just how deep she was in already. Y/N often fell deep for guys, giving them 100% straight out the gate and kept it consistent. She’d never really had any proper luck. Harry was her first actual boyfriend. “I usually eat a lot healthier, but I like to focus all my time with you on you, so I haven’t been cooking much.” When she went home before he would cook himself food or order from nicer places or go out with other friends but now he didn’t want to waste a moment. Not when Y/N was around.

“A proper month, huh? Feels a lot longer for some reason.” It was just an incredibly comfortable dynamic between them. They just got one another perfectly. She hadn’t given up on him when he was an asshole and he was always going to remember that. “5 months sounds correct. Although I wish I hadn’t been such a tool the first few, I’m glad I get to make it up to you now.” Y/N would soon even be flooded with gifts and a huge surprise for her birthday. He had stopped by the bakery to tell Katya on one of Y/N’s off days so he could figure out how to help with her absence. He was having a friend from Cheshire come down to help while Y/N was away with him. “It feels a lot more comfortable with you. Like... dunno how to explain it but it’s something that I haven't felt with anyone else. You know?”

Hearing Harry say that made Y/N incredibly soft. All she had ever wanted was to make Harry feel comfortable and loved. He deserved it. She felt like all his previous relationships, from what she knew about them, he felt like he had to prove himself in some way and it hurt her heart to think about. 

“You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear that.” She started, “you’re so special to me. I know I don’t say it a lot, mostly because I’m still so in my head about trying not to freak you out. I always knew that if I ever got to date you that I’d make you the happiest man in the world... and I’ve made that my mission daily.” Y/N blushed, looking down at her food before taking another bite because she felt like she could ramble about how much she cared about him for hours. If she wasn’t careful she’d end up saying the L word. She loved him. Properly. Not just in a fan way, but in a true romantic way. Y/N had grown to get to know him and all his quirks that many didn’t know about him, she’d gotten to experience him as a lover, as a friend, as her number one fan. And she loved him, she was positive.

“Angel... I don’t want you to censor yourself around me. I want to know what you think. Even if you think it’s cringey, I can almost guarantee I want to hear it.” Harry promised. Any thought of Y/N’s, he would die to hear. “I mean it. I want to know all about your little likes of mine. I went on twitter today and poke around quietly to see some fan accounts. It’s interesting to me how little things I do, they like so much. I know that in the band it would freak the other guys out a little but... I guess for me, I’m intrigued with how it works and what things my fans really like me doing.” He was an innocent puppy when it came to those things. “But let me tell you... that you’re already making me the happiest I’ve been. So you’re right on track. Especially cooking me good food and giving me someone to come home to.” His smile was genuine and soft to her. “I had been lonely for a long time.”

“Okay but like, I don’t think you understand the extent.” Y/N blushed, knowing he said he could handle it but she was nervous because she knew it would come off very obsessive even though she just really cared about him. So fucking deeply she cared about him. It was only amplified now that she consistently had him as a part of her life. “Baby... that’s so cute.” She pouted, wanting to smother him in kisses. Y/N constantly just wanted to squeeze him, attack him with kisses as he often did with her. Everything he did just sent her. “You can um.. look through my Twitter after dinner if you’d like. I post a lot about you on there.” Y/N explained, it was strictly a stan account. “You’re never going to be lonely again. And I mean that.” Y/N said genuinely, knowing that if things continued to go this well she would happily marry him. She had been wanting nothing more. Dating Harry was even better than she had ever imagined, and though she knew they could get in little fights here and there, they’d always find their way back.

Harry didn’t plan on this having an end date. His Aquarius sun had fought him a bit in the beginning, being so sure that Y/N wasn’t the one, but once they’d decided on being together? He was keeping her. There was a lot of stubbornness in Harry, and he had decided Y/N was the one for him. 

“I’m not lettin’ you go so I’m glad you've come to terms with it.” He smirked at her. God, he adored this pretty girl with his whole heart. It was entering love territory though, and that oddly didn’t scare him as much as he thought it would. Sure, it was scary in some ways. Letting her have his whole heart in his palm. But he trusted her. “But you’re giving me your Twitter? Oooooo.” Harry wiggled his brows. “Gonna read all your direct messages too. I’m very excited to see what you could possibly have on there.” He knew there had to be some real shit because she groaned and blushed. “Can’t take it back! Nope. It’s fine for me to know the true fan in you. But it isn’t going to freak me out, baby. After dinner, we can settle on the couch or even in bed and cuddle a little. Been lookin forward all day.”

A calm feel over Y/N as he told her that he wasn’t letting her go. She believed him. She actually believed him and that was the best part about it. Never in her life had Y/N ever felt truly cared for and accepted, never had she expected it to be Harry. She had always wanted it to be him, dreamed about it being him, and the fact that he was suggesting she really was the one for him? God she couldn’t put that feeling into words. 

“Yes I am, don’t make me regret it.” Y/N said in a stern tone though it really had no bite behind it. When he mentioned direct messages she fumbled with her fork. “Oh god, I don’t even know what I sent—” Y/N shook her head. He didn’t follow her on twitter but she had had someone put her in a group chat with him and then leave. Essentially gifting her a dm with him. A cuddle did sound really nice though, she’d let him read through it though just so she could listen to his voice and relax with him. Y/N knew there would be some funny tweets and some emotional tweets. Just a roller coaster of things really.

Dinner was relaxing and calm and he found himself on the couch with Y/N in no time. They’d cleaned up the dishes together and settled in, Harry sending Y/N to find the nice big blanket in the ball closer. When he came back, he found a little Y/N burrito in the blankets and swore his heart melted. 

“Dunno where my pretty girlfriend has gone. All I see is this burrito. Looks awfully similar though.” Harry smirked at the joke and she sent him an eye roll but obviously found it cute by the blush on her cheeks. “Now, if my burrito girlfriend will unroll, let her boyfriend inside said blanket burrito and give him said phone to look through the twitter app, it would be appreciated.” He sat on the couch and waited expectantly for her.

Y/N giggled, rolling herself out of the burrito with ease. She crawled into Harry’s lap and sat sideways with her back against the arm of the chair so she could watch him look through her Twitter. This would be fun. 

“Okay so, the best way to do it is this...” Y/N said, typing in her at name and the word ‘harry’ into the search bar revealing all the tweets about Harry that she has made over the years. Oh boy. “My first tweet dates back to 2012, are you ready?” Y/N shook her head, handing him the phone so he could begin to scroll through. 

A lot of the tweets were just his name or saying something along the lines of ‘harry is so hot’ or ‘I love harry’. All of which were true, it just shocked her because of the sheer amount she had tweeted about him. Hundreds and hundreds of tweets and those were just the ones with his name in them. That didn’t count all the photos she had tweeted or videos she reacted to. Harry couldn’t believe how many tweets there were. He was in awe. Y/N hadn’t been lying. Not that Harry has thought she was but this just solidified the fact that she was a mega fan. All else aside? It was fucking hilarious. 

“Wow... my god, Y/N.” He giggled. “You’ve been a fan since... you were a wee sperm? And now you swallow my sperm. Talk about character development.” Harry snickered. Y/N gasped and smacked his shoulder lightly but he wasn’t going to stop. Oh no. This was too good. “The screenshot. You think I’m cute and want to fuck me? Even on that day! I appreciate it.” It was incredibly funny and surreal to see how she has genuinely been tweeting at him for years and years. “Another December girlfriend... that's cold. Considering you were a December girlfriend for a time. Life’s crazy. But now you’re my all seasons girlfriend, so you win.” He kissed the side of her head and continued on. “Hmmm. Love my butt. Want to suck my dick! I can’t say I’m not having the time of my life. This is the best ego boost.” He smirked. “Wait... I spit at you?” He widened his eyes and a large smile on his face. It turned dirty quicker. “So... went from loving that you had water spit on you, to now asking me to spit in your mouth. Such a good grown up situation.”

Y/N blushed deeply, shaking her head to herself as she read through some of the tweets herself. But despite her embarrassment, Harry was enjoying them so she let herself go a bit and just accepted that she was cringey when she was younger. 

“Harry I was a minor!!” Y/N shook her head, laughing at his comments. “But they did age well. All accurate. Still think you’re cute and wanna fuck you at the same time, I was your December girlfriend but now I’m just your girlfriend, also... love your butt and want to suck your dick still so... I’m consistent if anything.” Y/N said as a matter of factly. “Where do you think that kink came from?” Y/N chuckled, looking at him with a raised brow. She cupped his cheek and just looked at him in awe for a moment, “you know how surreal this is? For me? It’s documented how I’ve been dreaming about this for 9 whole years...” Y/N truly got emotional thinking about it. Her thumb swiped over his bottom lip, smiling fondly at him for a moment before pressing a sweet and kiss to his lips and pulled away to nuzzle her face into his neck. “Okay continue.”

“Mm. I know. I wouldn’t have made a move on you back then if you were a minor. I don’t do that. Unlike other band members.” Harry shrugged. What? It sat with him wrong that Liam was dating a girl when she was underage and lied about it to everyone possible.

“Oop.” Y/N said with a giggle, knowing exactly who he was talking about. It was weird for Y/N to suddenly know all the ins and outs of the band and things in Harry’s life, but it made a lot more sense and explained why Harry is the way he is and why he acts a certain way. 

 “I’m glad though. That you get to live this out with me. Cause if you weren’t a fan we wouldn’t have met... but we are so suited for each other.” They truly were the most suited for one another that he had ever seen. The photos of them faking were very real looking because they both harbored those feelings. “You’re something else. My god, Kiska.” He chuckled as he placed a hand on her thigh as he continued to read. “There's a whole lot about my dick here. Been dirty for forever. And then you get soft... aw. Sayin’ you want to wear my sweater. The purple one? You can. It’s put away in my little chest but I can dig it out for you.”

Y/N picked up her head from his neck, “really?” She asked with eyes full of wonder. “I think you should at least wear that color more... we all went crazy. You just looked so cute and soft and it made your eyes look nice.” Y/N’s tone was so gooey. It was clear to tell that she had been very invested. “You gave me all those shirts to wear and like... all of them are so iconic among fans. If only you knew.” Y/N commented, wondering what else he had hidden in that chest of his. Maybe she could find some old gems. Y/N knew twitter was a safe option for him to scroll freely on. Something that she hoped stayed a secret was her tumblr, but she had a feeling fans would dig it up somehow.

“Well tell meee.” Harry whined, handing her phone back. “Memorized your user and stuff so I will look at more later. But I want my lesson in what you fans like.” He leaned back against the couch and wrapped his arm around her, letting her settle into his body. “Want to know what drives all of you crazy and what you hate and love. It’s so interesting to me.” He was so intrigued by it all. Y/N knee more than anyone else he knew though. “What is the lingo and stuff? I feel like a middle aged father when it comes to learning the hip things. Also... don’t think I didn’t catch those other tweets. Calling me daddy since then, huh? That’s interesting. Considering how often you use it to get what you want now.”

“So you want to know the tea?” Y/N started off, getting properly cozy with him on the couch. “Do you know what tea means?” She asked, wondering how basic his knowledge was. Y/N felt like tea was a common word used so he should know it, but he probably still struggled to grasp the concept. “Tea is gossip. Do you want to know the gossip?” Y/N felt like she could teach him easily, but it would take a while. Maybe some observing on twitter will help. “Contextual clues help as well, but let’s get into it.” She hummed and thought about his question. “So, we love seeing pictures of you anytime anywhere doing anything. Your fans are essentially all like girlfriends, they all want to love and protect you.” Y/N smiled as she explained. “We love when you just act like yourself, when you’re goofy and just do your quirky Harry things. Like that nose scrunch you do and rub your nose with your knuckle. And you picking your lip.” Y/N pointed out a few harrisims. “The way you say the word ‘obviously’ like ‘ovishly’” she giggled at that one because it was just really cute. “Don’t really hate anything besides the fact that you didn’t really have good friends around you till recently. People would stalk the people you hung out with and report back to us, essentially giving us all the insights... a fan background check if you will. That’s why all your previous relationships weren’t as successful. They didn’t have a good track record.” Y/N explained to him, “mines flawless, obviously.” She winked.

“It’s so odd to think that those things are so normal but you all like them much. Not in a bad way at all but... it’s just incredibly interesting to know that things I don’t even think twice about are your favorite things.” Harry was shocked. The nose thing and how he said certain words weren’t conscious decisions. “Also.. tea? I’ve heard someone say the phrase before but I wasn’t paying all that much attention if m’honest.” He admitted to Y/N. She would get that he wasn’t at all that current and stayed off of socials usually. “Obviously... I’m not the most up to date. But I like learning. I feel good that you are at least in the know about this stuff. Can always ask you about them. I have a question though. Do people mean it when they ask me to run them over? It seems a bit excessive and I would never, but I see a lot of people telling me they want me to and I don’t get it.”

“I know baby, we just love the things that are unique to you. Being a fan is not different than having a crush I think.” Y/N explained, “it’s a strange relationship between artists and fans... because the way artists’ speak to fans like, telling them they love, appreciate, support, and accept them? that can do a lot for someone who is impressionable.” She would know first hand. 

“it puts fans in a headspace where they feel safe with that person because they feel seen and heard. It’s quite special. I think it’s really lovely that you’re curious to know what it’s like... it shows so much about your character and I know for a fact your fans know just how great you are. We fight for you... but everyone loves you.” Y/N felt like she was rambling but he needed to know all of this. Y/N snorted a bit when he mentioned the run me over trend, shaking her head. “No, baby, they don’t mean it.” She said, combing through his hair with her fingers. “Best way to explain it is, when you're so attracted to someone to love someone so much that it’s overwhelming, you would rather feel intense pain? A lot of it is for comedic effect.” It was harder to explain than she thought. “It’s a more extreme version of ‘choke me daddy’.”

Harry absorbed all the information. It was a lot to take in but truthfully, he was in awe. They loved him so much, didn’t they? He always knew that, of course he did. But it was something else completely when it came down to it. He was some people’s happiness and truly, Harry couldn’t understand it fully. 

“Kind of like with you. Like you so much that wanna bash my head in sometimes. Always thinking about you.” He pulled a quick move and rubbed her to straddle his lap. His arms wrapped around her waist and held her to him, fingers sneaking up the shirt to rub the bare skin of her back. Harry has found that she melted with just a little bit of back rubbing. “I do like when you tell me to choke you, though. S’fun. We have immaculate sex.” He hummed. Sex hadn’t ever been this good. Ever. Y/N was adventurous and kinky. “Speeeeeaking of. Is there anything you’d like to try?” He’s meant to have this conversation earlier. “We really kind of just... hopped into it. I think we can just tell what we like. But I wanted to ask if there’s things you like and don’t like. Be more open about it.”

Y/N giggled at how he did his best to make a similar comment, he was adorable. She squeaked a bit as he made a quick move to have her straddling him, it was her favorite position really both for sex and for cuddling. It felt properly close, like she could hold him completely just like he could hold her. 

“Course you do.” Y/N snickered, pecking his nose softly. “We do have immaculate sex, truly have never had better.” She agreed, watching his smile widen as it always did when she gave him compliments like that. Harry really did just tend to every need of hers and she was always eager to do the same. “Um... well, I’d be truly willing to try anything as long as you’d be up for it.” Y/N said truthfully, thinking a bit about what they could try that they haven’t tried just yet. “You’re an actor now, maybe you’d like to experiment in some role play at some point.” She teased, “haven’t tied me up yet either... haven’t got any toys either.” Y/N brought up, wondering what was on his mind when it came to these things.

“Hm... would like to do all of those, I believe. I think that it would be good. Toys would be fun. Know those little wand vibrators? Would be fun to tie you up and use one on you.” Oh, Harry could be evil in that sense. Over sensitivity was fun because Y/N got so whimpers and whiny, her legs would shake and he was obsessed with making her little noises she would make. “We’ll have to order some toys. Trying to decide if I should just order some fun things or have you help me, though.” He said in faux thought. Of course he would include Y/N in it. Through their many many sexual rounds, he found that she was rather submissive. Liked when he took control and ordered her to do things. Was an absolute pro at sucking his cock. Truly... he loved it. But what he had found out was that he was a slut for licking her out. 

A lot of the time he would wake her up with his mouth between her thighs. It couldn’t be helped. The girl tasted so sweet, her cunt was beautiful, and she would wake up and make the cutest noises. A few times she tried to physically push her away from sensitivity  and he just held on and continued for another two orgasms. She fell asleep back after that. It was weird but he felt like he was on a high every time he did it. Some men didn’t like it but Harry has a growing obsession. 

“Speaking of again.. can I eat you out tonight?” Harry loved making her blush when he asked them so bluntly.

Y/N’s eyes darkened, excited to hear that he was willing to try everything she had mentioned. “Could do both... order some things with me and without me. I like surprises.” Y/N smiled mischievously, relaxing into the feeling of his hands against her back. The one thing that shook Y/N to her core was just how much he liked eating her out. He would use any excuse to go down on her and it was truly a blessing. Never had she had a man worship her pussy the way Harry did, she felt like she was some godly creature with the way he took pleasure in pleasuring her. Her face went red, tingles sent directly to her core at the mere thought. “You don’t have to ask, you know that..” Y/N said shyly, fully wanting him to know that she would be okay with him eating her out whenever he wanted. Literally whenever. She’d never be opposed. They both had a high sex drive and it sometimes got the best of them, neither of them would ever say no. One of them was in the mood and then the other always got the other in the mood fairly quickly. “I want to know what else you’re into... like wildest things.”

“Hm. Sounds like a conversation over a blunt, hm?” Harry and Y/N had only smoked together 3 times but it really was nice. Sex was a bit wilder too. They let down their inhibitions and generally had a lot dirtier things come out of their mouths during so he figured it would be a good conversation to have over smoking. Y/N perked up, and Harry laughed. His girl did quite like it. “I’ll tell you some wild things, dirty ones. But I need to be high to not be a little shy about it.” It was understandable though. The both of them were very much open but sex was their golden area. It only took a few minutes before Y/N was back on his lap, sitting with her thighs over him now. Harry took a hit, letting it settle for a moment before breathing it out. He swore, there was some kind of kink he had for Y/N when she smoked because it always looked incredibly sexy. 

“Alright, princess.” He settled in. “You want to know kinks? Or fantasies? We both know I’m a very dirty man.”

Perks of dating Harry meant good quality weed and pre rolled joints and blunts. Y/N was pretty good at rolling herself. It was Y/N’s biggest vice next to sex. She watched as he lit the blunt, taking a few hits of it before handing it to her. Y/N breathed in the smoke, holding it in her lungs for a moment before letting it out. It truly was one of the most relaxing feelings, especially someone like her who seemed to be tense all the time without even realizing it. 

“Mhm, anything you’re willing to tell me.” She said and took another hit, feeling herself relax even more. Her filters were going away, her mind more open to creativity as well. “You are a dirty man, my dirty man though. Always know what I want somehow.”

“Hm. It’s weird that we haven’t had this conversation before now but, we are just starting off, huh?” Harry thought out loud. “It feels a lot longer. I dunno, I just feel like I know you.” He still had so much more to figure out about her though. “Hm. Okay... I have a kink for public stuff.” A bold beginning. “Like... when I played with you at the club? That was one of the hottest things.. I like the danger. People may see. It’s so hot. Like, head or fucking in the car. Dressing room or bathroom sex. Fingering under a table. That shit really gets to me.” He cleared his throat, taking the blunt from her again. “I really like messy. Know you know that but. When it’s really hot and dirty, lots of cum and all of that. I dunno why it gets me off. Spit. That’s beyond sexy to me.” He was trying to think of more but there was a lot. “I like spanking you. Being in control. That’s the hottest thing to me, I think. You trusting me with being in charge and being able to tell how much you can handle. That’s so good. When you get a bit sassy and I spank you? I’d like you to be a lot more bratty sometimes so I can really spank you. Make you melt.”

Y/N listened to him intently, admiring him with hooded eyes. He really was kinky, but it wasn’t anything Y/N felt was wild. It was perfect for someone like her who loved being dirty and really letting go during sex.

 “It’s good we are talking about this because sometimes I have these moments where you’re fucking me so good that I like... get into this headspace where I would legit do anything you asked. Think it’s called subspace? I did research on it the other day.” It was one of the hottest things she felt like she could do. It made him hot and that fueled her even more. “I like all of those things. Very much so.” Y/N said with a nod, taking the blunt from him once again. Even just talking about sex got her in the mood. “Did you know I can squirt?” She asked with a smirk, taking another hit from the blunt while she watched his reaction. “It kind just happened one time when I was getting off with a vibrator, I tease the fuck out of myself all day... it was like this one really sensitive part of my clit and it hurt a bit but in a good way, and it felt like I was going to wee but it just fished out and I was so in shock I couldn’t register that I had actually done it.” She spoke in her slow and raspy voice. “Could have phone sex or FaceTime sex as well... when you’re away though, not yet. While you’re here I want to have fucking me till I cry.” Y/N really was a whore for Harry, she couldn’t believe the extent that she would go for him but she liked that she felt comfortable like that. “Be careful what you wish for...” she said when he said he wanted her to be more bratty.

“You can? Well... s’my mission now to get you squirting.” Oh, 100%. Y/N would be getting the bed all messy and that was that. It was a hot thing he hadn’t known she was able to do but was about to make sure it happened very soon. He was also very happy about being able to get her to subspace. It was beyond hot in his opinion because she opened herself up to him and gave him exactly what they’d both needed. Harry control, and her loss of it. “I will definitely be getting you into that space more often. I love making you over sensitive too. When your legs shake and you tell me to stop but you don’t mean it. Or when you can’t even get words out and just sounds. That’s amazing.” He sighed thinking about said things. It was lovely. “However, I am aware of what I’m wishing for. I’ll give you hints when I want it though. You’re usually such a good girl for me. I will definitely be ducking you until you cry tonight. The only tears I want are tears of pleasure and happiness.” He stated. “How do you feel about the other type of sex.” Harry wiggled his brows playfully. God, he was a slut for some ass but he knew it was a hard limit for some. “And about me watching you get off. Cause that’s something hot I’d like to see.”

“You’re quite good at it... I tried to hold myself back from falling completely into it because we hadn’t had a proper conversation about it. But now that you’re aware, I can go all in.” Y/N hummed, “didn’t want you to be caught off guard.” Y/N explained farther knowing that Harry was more than capable of coaching her through her subspace. She whimpered at his words, beyond ready for him to fuck her till she was crying. “Anal? I’ve never actually done anal.” Y/N said honestly, “but if I’m going to do anal with anyone it’d be you... also wouldn’t mind if you wanted me to return the favor.” She had to offer because he probably wouldn’t ask on his own. Harry was quite a dominant person naturally, but even the most dominant people needed a break sometimes. “We’ll get a vibrator and I’ll get off for you.” Y/N started, “you like when I’m all whiney and begging to cum and I usually can cum multiple times with a vibrator and fuck—” she really did miss it. “My fingers are great, but yours are far better. You’re just far better in general. A vibrator is a whole other animal, can just sit back and watch it do what you do to me.”

“Yeah? That sounds so fucking good though, baby.” Harry was beset drooling at the thought. His Y/N cumming over and over... that was a fantasy all in itself. She looked so pretty when she was cumming but to sit back and watch her. “Got to get you a nice vibrator then. Thinkin’ a nice pink? Know that you’d put it to use. Get money's worth.” God, he was obsessed with her. There was just that intense attraction there that had him wrecked every time. She got him good every single time she begged or whimpered or asked for her ‘daddy’... yeah. It was bad. “We can try it. M’not sure if I’d like it or not but for both parties we can.” He shrugged. Open to anything. That’s how he liked it. “But I’m obsessed with the thought of my cum inside both of your holes. That’s so hot to me. Erotic. Think it’ll take some getting used to, but we’re both dirty fucks.” He noticed that she was squeezing her thighs together. “Hm. Do you want to touch yourself while we talk, angel? Can just take off those shorts and do it in your panties.”

Y/N felt her pussy throbbing a bit, desperately needing relief but she was enjoying the conversation. She liked the tension, liked being teased though she would say she hated it till the cows came home. Harry knew just how to press her buttons though. 

“Can I?” She asked softly, looking at his eyes to make sure he wasn’t just saying that to see what she’d say. Y/N did have a massive kink for people watching her, only when she was people she trusted like Harry. Once she got confirmation from him she went to slide the shorts off, relieving some nice lacy red panties she had on underneath. “You’ll see the rest of this later.” Y/N smiled at him, shifting so her legs were a bit more spread and so she could use her right hand to rub over herself with slow and teasing movements. “We can try anything really... any ideas you have, let me know. Really. There are very few limits.” Y/N told him, letting out a small sigh of relief at the feeling of her fingers gliding over her pussy.

“I can tell that. You’ve got me very intrigued with what else your own fantasies are.” There was something erotic about her laying on his lap and her hand between her thighs. She was needy for touch and Harry knew that. She always got impatient when it came to that. “You’re so open, just like me. A whole world of possibilities. That’s what makes us so dangerous.” His hand settled on her belly, rubbing circles into it. He adored giving her any type of attention, but it was different when it came to her rubbing off on his lap. “Trust me. There’s a whole lot I want us to do. Want to fuck you on a plane. Make you cum with people in the room. Have you squirt all over the floor. Finger fuck you in that same club. Want to finish what I started. Tell me though.” He really wanted to know. “What are your deepest and darkest fantasies? The dirtier the better.”

A moan left her lips as he told her all the things he’s got planned for them, feeling herself get even more slick than she was. “Always knew you were a kinky bastard, but I didn’t think you’d be like this. I love it.” Y/N really had thought about what Harry would be into. She’d just about imagined everything under the sun, but her mind sort of drew a blank when it came to telling him. “My deepest darkest fantasies?” Y/N hummed, slowly circling over her clit. “You know I used to get off to the thought of you? Like that was the one thing that was guaranteed to make me cum.”  She admitted, knowing he would like hearing it. It would blow up his ego even more. 

“I thought about all kinds of things... always thought you’d be the type to fuck me when I’m on my period. Also thought about you inviting your friends over to watch us... quite like the idea of you watching me fuck a girl— but only if you’d want to watch. I’d be too jealous to let her touch you. I thought about a lot of the things you mentioned actually. Kinda like the idea of us filming ourselves and watching it back.”

Harry’s ego was beyond blown. She got off to him before he had even met her? That was the ultimate ego boost. He was thriving right now, knowing that he was the source of her orgasms. She had been liking him since she was younger and now got the real thing. 

“Hm. Yes to both of those. Little bit of blood doesn’t scare me. Certainly won’t stop me taking your pussy. That’s when you’re especially horny got it.” He wasn’t squeamish when it came to that. “Fuck. You’d do that, baby? I would love to see that. All of those. People watching us.. you’d make such a pretty show. Especially if we could get you squirting... you’re such a gorgeous picture when you’re fucked out. Needy little cockslut when it comes down to it.” His cock was throbbing. Holy shit, he loved those ideas. “As for you fucking a girl... i’d be very interested. I don’t need to touch her. God... the idea of pounding into you while you’ve got your tongue in pussy... jesus.” He took a second to groan, leaning his head back. Yeah. That was some good shit. “We can film whenever you want. Got our phones, can attach it to the tv to see it. You need to see how desperate you get and how hot it is.”

Listening to him speak was already doing a lot for her, she loved how his voice made her react and it was even better when he was saying such dirty things and she had her hand on her pussy. “Yeah?” She sighed out, adding a little bit more pressure to her clit. “I can tell you like those ideas.” She could feel his cock hardening beneath her. Y/N was taking subtle and slow deep breaths, teasing the shit out of herself and trying to stay as focused as she could. The combination of being high and being horny really fucked her up. “Is it really that bad?” She blushed, nuzzling her face in his neck though she was smiling. “You just get me so riled up, just want to cum for you. It’s always the worst too because you tease me so well and it tests my patients because I barely have any as it is..” Y/N moaned, “I’m such a whore! I always need to fucking cum and you make it so hard!” She pouted.

“You cum a lot. I love it so much. It is really that bad but it’s absolutely a good thing. I want you to be dirty for me. You want my cock and tm fingers and my mouth a lot but it’s relaxing for me too, sweetheart.” Harry cooed. God, he had become a lucky bastard. Y/N was dirty and sweet and made him insane. The best type of person. “Love that you know you’re a whore for it too. So refreshing. Don’t even try and deny it to me, just know that you are.” Y/N was a whore though. In a good way. She wanted it often and thoroughly and wasn’t ashamed to ask for cock when she was really needing it. They’d been properly dating for a month but he was slowly realizing that this girl was the one he wanted forever. That alone had him even more focused on learning her pleasure. This wasn’t a fling.

“It’s pretty hard to deny considering how often I ask you to fuck me. I just own it. Know it turns you on.” Y/N really did know what buttons of his to press, glad that he too was open with her about what he wanted and when he wanted it. Harry was such a private person to the world, but to her he bored it all. It made her feel special, which only added to how horny she was. “I like when you make orders, my pussy throbs every time. I really like when you go all daddy on me and give me permission to do certain things you know I’m holding back on doing. I like when you get that roughness in your voice and your accent goes really northern.” Y/N’s eyes rolled back a bit at the thought combined with the feeling of her fingers against herself. She had been going at it for more than half of their conversation, she pulled her fingers out and brought them to her mouth. “This what you rave about, huh?” She smirked, pointing out his obsession. Y/N really liked the sensation of sucking on fingers but also getting her fingers sucked on. It was a win win really.

Harry loved when she got dirty like this. Eventually they wouldn’t even have the weed to have them like this, he had a feeling. But it felt so natural between them. He wanted to have this all the damn times. The intimacy between them. 

“Fuck, yeah. That’s what I love. You taste so good. Get high off of it. Makes me crazy, I just want to taste it all the fucking time.” His eyes were dark with lust as she sucked on her fingers, finally feeling what he did. “Like when I boss you around, huh? When I tell you to get on the bed or bend over? Get your pussy all wet when I tell you you’re being a good girl and just m’gonna fuck your cunt until you’re a sobbing mess.” That was the goal, ultimately. To have Y/N writhing on the bed, eyes crossed with pleasures he was giving her.

Y/N giggled, a giddy bubbling up at his compliment about her pussy. She had been eating lots of fruit, her favorite were all the different melons, strawberries, and kiwi. Ironic, she knows, but it was really good. “It is really good... I get it now.” She hummed after pulling her fingers out from her mouth. “Yes, daddy. I love it.” Y/N purred, shifting in her seat once again. “What do I do that drives you crazy, hmm?” She asked, “I want to have fun making you all frustrated too, daddy.” Y/N confessed though she knew that would only get him harder. He had wanted her to be more bratty and bratty she would be. She just needed a better tool kit.

“All of it. I love when you wear my shirts. When you give me those little pouty eyes. It’s so hot. Acting innocent while you’re touching my cock, like you don’t know what you’re doing. But on the other side... when you’re dirty and don’t care. Just let go and let us both be filthy.” He hummed. “I love when you whine at me. When I’m fucking you hard and all you can get out are those little ‘uh’s and they go high pitched. I love making you lose control.” He did. Y/N getting unhitched was a turn on for him. “I love when you come and crawl in my lap and talk to me but you’ve got that look. When you know you want to fuck but don’t want to say it out loud so you grind a little bit and pout until I turn you over.” He had a whole list, truly. “Hm.. when you wear those tops that showcase your tits— like the dress that night. When you show off your curves because I’m weak when it comes to you. Those red heels you have.”

Harry really did seem to have a mental list, it was like he was reading right off of it. She felt a cheeky smile creeping up on her face, knowing exactly what he was talking about when he mentioned all those little things she did. Y/N was just glad they worked effectively because that was always her intention. 

“Good to know my methods are working.” She teased, keeping her hands on his chest how they were this whole time. They were building up tension, so much so that they hadn’t even kissed this whole time. It must have been an hour that they were sitting here like this. “Red heels huh? That one caught me.” Y/N said, passing the blunt for him to take a few hits. “I can't believe you remembered them..” She continued thinking about how she could bring them back. “Reckon I could pull them off in a naughty school girl outfit.. what would you do if I turned up here looking like that?”

“Fuck me... seeing you in that? Probably would cum in my pants.” Harry groaned. Yes, he wasn’t even kidding. Y/N would truly get him if she did that to him. That was asking for disaster on his part. Or a beautiful Thing, in Y/N’s case. “What would you do, angel? Come in and ask for some extra credit, hm?” He could totally be down for some role play. His acting stuff had given him a large amount of courage when it came to that. “Come in to suck my cock? Or perhaps offer up that pussy of yours for me...” He murmured. Yes. Yes, he would love that. 

He took a few more hits, before taking a hand and running it up and down the shirt. From where her cunt started to between her tits, he was tracing it up and down as a tease. “What else would you want to play as?”

Y/N smiled triumphantly, “yes sir, I really need an A.” Y/N spoke, already putting on a different voice for the sake of the role. Harry would look damn good in a tie, he could even use it on her. She swore her head was spinning at the mere thought. She’d live out all her favorite fanfics like this. “Could do doctor and patient.. could do prince and maid..” Her mind wondered for a moment. “Officer Styles sounds hot.” Y/N smirked, taking the blunt from him once again. “Also sort of like the idea of you being merciless one night. Obviously I consent to it now and what not, we can go over safe words and stuff.. but in theory.” Y/N began, “could just properly dominate me, like completely. If you’re ever in that mood. If it was random for me? That’d be so hot.” All these fantasies floated through Y/N’s mind on the regular, she really wanted to try everything they’d been talking about. They couldn’t obviously try it all in one night, no they were brainstorming for months ahead of time. That within itself was already getting her hyped. Her birthday was coming up as well. She was curious to see what he would have in store.

“All of those... we could do them all. Trust me, I know we will have the best time doing it too.” Harry knew that. Y/N would be the best possible role play partner when it came down to it. He had a feeling she could act incredibly well. “I’ve never had that sort of trust with someone before. You know? S’good to me that we do. I would love to try that especially. A day where I’m relaxed though. Wouldn’t want to go off the rails and really hurt you.” He had such a temper on him. Most people didn’t see it but he did. “I’m genuinely ready for anything. I want to try everything with you. You’ve made me so happy, my angel. Swear that my cock jerks every time I think about you. Wanna know though... When did you start getting off to the thought of me? What did you think about?”

Y/N did trust Harry, with anything. It was really important to her that they both had a mutual understanding. Their communication skills were great and obviously the two of them had only really been together for a month, but she had a feeling that even in their bumps in the road they’d get past it.  

“You’re too kind.” She smiled fondly at him, nearly slipping up there and telling him she loved him. Y/N found herself in that state constantly, wanting to say ‘I love you’ but always being afraid that it was far too early for that. “When I started? Really young.” Y/N blushed, “I remember I once read this like, fan fiction blurb thing about you and I was like... what is this feeling.” She said biting her lip. “Full on sexual awakening because of you... now your ego is gonna grow five sizes.” It was true though she couldn’t lie, he probably didn’t realize how many girls felt the same way. “I really just thought about being close to you.. having your hands on me. Pictured you eating me out, me riding your cock, and you fucking me doggy style. Definitely the most popular thoughts.”

Holy shit. Harry had literally been her sexual awakening? She had joked about it before but, to know it was real was oddly arousing and pleasing to the ego. He wanted to know more but was In shock. 

“Fuck. You really did?” He whispered, sliding his own hand down to her cunt and pressing over the fabric. “Sit in bed and rub your precious little clit while thinkin’ about me, baby?” Y/N had him going. He loved that. Harry was the one she had always wanted sexually and that was relieving.  He couldn’t believe it. “Used a vibrator... your fingers. Anything else, my sweet girl? I want all the details. You don’t know how hot it is to me. Not a clue.” He felt like he could burst. Pressing his hand over her pussy, he could feel the lace of the panties dampen. Her hips moved up to his hand and he snickered, pressing down right over her entrance.

Y/N jumped at the touch, having waited for him to touch her since he had gotten home really. “Y—yeah, I did.” She spoke softly, feeling her body melt into his properly. Y/N was really fucking high and really fucking horny. Her mind was cloudy and she was ready to tell him anything he wanted to hear. “a pillow.” She told him, trying to remember if there was anything else but it was really only ever those three things. Y/N wasn’t really one to try the shower head method, she felt like it didn’t really work for her. Y/N managed to learn a lot about her body fairly quickly. “Sometimes I’d just... play one of your interviews and just zone out and listen to you talk while I was playing with myself.” She told him, feeling her breath become choppy once again. Y/N whined as he pressed down against her, feeling super needy now that he had given her a little taste.

“My sweet, dirty girl. Fuck me... can’t believe how filthy you truly are. Sat there and humped over your pillow while listening to my voice? Look at you.” Harry groaned. Her body moved up to try and get more of his fingers. It was a fun time. Finger fucking Y/N was amazing. She provided him with every bit of sexual need he wanted, being whiny and pressing up because she just wanted more. And then she would whimper for her daddy and hold his wrist, hump his hand. Make him stay still for a moment while she did so. And then Harry would take the control back. Y/N needed him to take over most of the time. 

Yep. Harry was never letting her go.

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[part 7]

A/N: AHHHHH the next part is the last part so we’re a bit emotional... We enjoyed writing these too so much so please, feel free to send in ideas for blurbs! - n + d

let us know what you think!

masterlist

#writing #harry styles smut #harry styles one shot #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles #harry writing #jarofstyles

[aceofspadegrass]

Crack involving Couch Stealing

Characters: Aguni Morizono, Hatter, Chishiya Shuntaro, Last Boss, Niragi Suguru, Mira Kano, Ann Rizuna, Kuzuryuu (Brief Mention really-), Kuina Hikari (Also a brief mention), @brainwashedkittenstuff, @a-simp-20, and yours truly

Genre: This is literally crack. We stole stuff like gremlins.

3k words

I don't even know if I got us accurate you guys, this is literal crack- I tried my best okay? I hope you like it-

It all started with Hatter calling an emergency executive meeting.

Nobody of that caliber was exactly expecting it when Hatter made the sudden announcement, especially since it seemed too important to pass up. Whatever it was had to have been so crucial that it couldn’t have been done in private. Maybe there were new members that they had to attend for? Perhaps Hatter finally figured out where the heck the face cards could possibly be.

Maybe he got a new kimono and just wanted to show off to the group.

But still, they all show up to the meeting, and Hatter was impatiently pacing back and forth at the front. He seemed pensive, and that caught everyone’s attention, several pair of eyes watching the man clad in red. Finally, Hatter stops, slowly coming to the position as he turns towards everyone, scanning each and every face behind his sunglasses. “ We have a problem.” Hatter states, lowly and filled with suspicion and irritation. A few of them look at him curiously from their seats, Last Boss leaning a little closer as he rested his arms on the sword bag from where he stood.

“ What is it?” Ann asks him, and Hatter glances at her, the air tense as everyone waited for his answer. It had to have been something serious if Hatter looked this mad, but not where he would usually send Aguni and his little pack of gremlins to handle it without having to rally the group like this.

“…… Someone stole some of my kimonos and my good hats.” He scowls, tilting his head down where a shadow fell upon his face. “ Not only that, but they also took my couch. My fucking couch.”

Everyone was silent for a few seconds, trying to process this. Niragi was the first to react, scowling and groaning loudly, his eyes rolling in his head like an angry wave. “ Oh my fucking goodness, you called us here for a missing couch?”

“ And kimono and hat!” Hatter retorts, his hands slamming against the table and making it shake. Niragi scoffs, his lip curling. “ So? It’s just a bunch of shit, why do you care?” “ See, this is why you’re my least favourite.” Hatter looks directly at the barbeque lizard, who looks at him angrily, sitting up.

“ You take that back you egotistical lawn flamingo-“ “ Okay, settle down. Hatter, may I ask why you’re so riled up over this that you had to call us all here?” Ann looks at Niragi for a second with narrowed eyes before turning her attention back to Hatter, Niragi huffing and slumping back into his chair with a face of annoyance, fingers curling and uncurling against the fabric of his shirt.

“ Well obviously, I need someone to be on the lookout and catch these criminals!” “ Oh, so you don’t know who did it then.” Chishiya croons, tilting his head slightly to the right. “ And so you expect us to figure out who, in this vast space full of people, took some of your supposed ‘precious’ items?” “ Yes! You got it!” Hatter grins, and Chishiya just looks at Hatter with that face, eyes half-lidded and slightly smiling in that way that nobody could tell what he was thinking at the moment. He doesn’t look away for a while, just staring straight at the madman they called their leader.

Niragi grumbles under his breath, but finally tilts his head back to Hatter. “ If we find these assholes, can I kill them?” Hatter just smiles, taking a step back and slowly unfurling his arms wide, his grin becoming wider. “ Well, you know what the rules are: Death to the traitors.” —————————————————————————————————

The Beach was huge, but there was no way that they could possibly miss someone carrying a whole ass couch, right? Wrong. Apparently it was hard as dicks.

The group of both factions asked and looked around for the identity of these people, but nobody has seen a thing, especially anyone carrying a whole couch around the Beach. Neither has anyone seen anyone with any kimonos or hats. A few offered the idea that maybe they hid it away, since they were just clothing articles and perhaps they were ready to take it away somewhere else or reasons unknown.

They even went through every single room in search of anything suspicious. Aguni had gotten the entire militant sect in search of these items, even if most of them had no real clue why these items were this important.

There was nothing. Every room was practically the same, with a few differences here and there that held a hint of individuality, but by the end they were all left in the same state of ransack. They couldn’t be neat about this, especially since clothes could be very easily hidden. A couch, less so, but an initial glance would always prove whether or not the couch was anywhere in sight.

Chishiya had resorted himself to just watching from a high spot, hidden from everyone as he stares below into the lobby. at a bird’s eye view. He had already sent Kuina away to ask people about what they might have seen, and now he just needed to wait if she came back with anything worth of note.

Ann was currently doing the same, in fact, seeing if she could piece anything together that could detect a potential suspect. So far, there was nothing of note. Not a single bit of clue of anyone with hats, kimonos, or what should have been a very visible couch.

Niragi and Last Boss ended up working together in forcing answers out of anyone that even looked remotely suspicious to them, and receiving the same answers of ‘ No, I haven’t seen anything!’ followed by either running or being frozen in fear of what the two could potentially even do to them. Mira and Kuzuryuu were taking the more simpler approach of just keeping an eye out as they went about their day, careful eyes watching everyone’s movements in the case that they may slip and reveal a connection to the robbery. A note, a simple sign, anything of worth.

Even Hatter was on the move, as he was adamant on retrieving his items back, no matter what. He’s changed out of his usual outfit in favour of a much simpler robe. Hatter knew that there was a chance he wouldn’t hold back, and he didn’t want to stain a perfectly good kimono in this natural punishment. After all, he had to uphold his own rules, didn’t he? Meanwhile, Aguni was out by the cars. There was a chance they could attempt to escape the Beach altogether. Now why steal a bunch of Hatter’s stuff in the meanwhile was unbeknownst to him, and likely unknown to everyone, but it happened, and now here he was.

“ Hey, what brings you out here?” A voice snaps him from his scan over the area, and he looks down to someone smiling up at him, dressed in simple modest swimwear of a tan variety, along with a head covering. Aguni looks around briefly, wondering where this person even came from, or whether this was connected to the case Hatter presented today. He looks back at her, who remained smiling at him, politely and without a hint of mischief or other intention. “ I’m looking for someone. Have you seen someone with some kimonos, maybe some hats? A whole couch, even.” Aguni asks her, as he’s asked others that dared even approach Aguni. The woman shrugs, staring at the cars with a simple curiosity.

“ Nope, not a clue. What kind of person has a whole couch? Isn’t that kind of ridiculous?” Aguni nods a little. It certainly did sound a bit ridiculous, but it was reality, and the reality of it was that someone stole a whole couch along with some articles of clothing. The woman lets out a low whistle, and looks back up at Aguni. “ Well, I wish you luck that you find what you’re looking for! Hopefully they haven’t gotten far!” With that, she walks away, apparently just on a simple stroll and with no ill intention of walking anywhere far. Aguni found the interaction a little strange, but he didn’t exactly suspect them, as they must’ve just gotten curious as to why he was standing out here by himself when there wasn’t even any reason to really be near the cars yet.

So he goes back to watching the cars, counting them just in case. He had to make sure nobody got away with this odd crime.

—————————————————————————————————

Hours pass, and none of them could spot a single thing. Not a single kimono, not a single hat, and no couch.

“ Are you sure someone stole your stuff? Because this is all amounting to wasted time.” Ann questions, folding pale arms over her chest as she looks to Hatter. Hatter nods with a firm determination, Ann continuing to look at Hatter with an air of a serene cold disbelief.

“ Do you mind proving it then? If you wouldn’t mind." “ Of course, of course! Right this way!” Hatter leads the group of executives through the hallway and to his room suite, opening the door and letting them in. Immediately, they could see the clear lack of one of Hatter’s couches, which made the room oddly empty, the table lacking its companion.

“ And look here!” Hatter gestures to his closet, and everyone comes over to take a look. For the most part, everything seemed normal, but a few hangers were clearly now empty, in a random selection that nearly hid the crime unless there was a keen eye that would recognize the pattern, Hatter pouting dramatically. “ A woe! And look down here.” Hatter waves a hand down at boxes on the ground. They looked untouched, but Hatter kneels down and pops off a few lids, revealing empty boxes that they figured must have contained hats at some point.

“And you’re sure you didn’t just misplace them?” Aguni asks, and Hatter whips around, a few pitiful angry tears in his eyes as he looks up at Aguni. “ Of course I did not! I wouldn’t do this to myself on purpose, and these hats were very important to me, you know!”

Aguni grunts slightly in acknowledgement.

“ You don’t suppose they’ve already left, have they?” Mira remarks, and Aguni shakes his head. “ None of the cars were missing from the parking area, so it’s very unlikely. They have to still be on the premise.” “ Come on, we searched every room, and nothing turned up! Every spot is devoid of anything!” Niragi throws a hand up in the air. “ We might as well blame it on ghosts or something like that." “ Ghosts aren’t real, and even so, they would not be able to take a couch, no matter how strong you would make them out to be.” Ann adjusts her sunglasses, and crosses her arms again. “ But it is strange how nobody was able to locate a single responsible party. There is no way this was the work of a single person.” Everyone else nods along, agreeing with Ann. It was certainly a strange case.

“ Let’s look once more, and see if anything new turns up.” Mira offers, and they all spread out among the Beach again, hoping a second sweep would turn up anything.

—————————————————————————————————

Lo and behold, a string of interest finally rears its head in the form of a woman, who was casually trying to put tape on what looks to be a beach ball. Niragi approaches her, who seemed rather invested in whatever she was up to. “ Whatcha got there?” He asks the moment he gets closer, noticing a bunch of iridescent streamers next to her. She looks up with a smile, and just twirls the beach ball in her arm. “ It’s something special.” She chirps, and Niragi raises an eyebrow, smirking. “ Oh yeah? Does this ‘something special’ have anything to do with a missing couch? Maybe some kimonos or hats?” She just smiles more, and settles the beach ball on her lap again. “ That’s silly, why would I have anything to do with a missing couch?” “ Because some idiots stole shit, and now we’re all on a goose chase to find out the culprits.” He stick his tongue out, leaning close to her and he swirls it around. “ And then we’re going to punish them for betraying Hatter. Death to the tr-“ Niragi suddenly gets cut off as cold water suddenly hits him in the face, and he stumbles backwards, wiping the water off hurriedly and grumbling loudly. “ You little…!” He wipes the water and opens his eyes only to be greeted with an empty spot, streamers and all. “ Oi, you bitch! Where the hell did you go!” He looks around the area, but somehow he managed to lose her, Niragi scowling and pulling out his walkie-talkie. There was no way she wasn’t a part of this. “ Hey, I think I found one of the culprits.” He says into the device, and he puts it away as he starts to scour the area for her. Niragi wasn’t going to let her out of his sight again.

At the same time on the other side, Last Boss was walking around trying to look for anything that might have been looked over, and someone comes up to him intentionally, Last Boss pausing and staring at them, internally confused as they smile. “ Hi! I like your hoodie, it looks cool.” Last Boss blinks. They weren’t even scared? That was…. very strange. He doesn’t say a word though, continuing to stare down at this strange person. “ Anyways, I wanted to ask someone, and you were the closest person. Do you think fedoras are valid?” Last Boss just continues to stare down at them, but he eventually offers a simple shrug. He wasn’t actually sure. They were just hats. Wait. “ Do you know who stole the hats?” He asks them, and they just stare back without a hint of knowing or not knowing in their eyes. “ It’s just a question that I wanted to get off my tongue. So, are they or aren’t they? What about top hats, those are cool too. You’d look cool with a hat actually. Maybe a beanie? Ooh, do you like beanies? They’re really soft and-” They continue to ramble about hats, and Last Boss didn’t really have time for this, beginning to unsheathe his katana and stab them. “ Ah, sorry! I must’ve been boring you. Bye for now!” They run off, and Last Boss watches them go. Maybe they were scared of him, and only decided to run the moment he started taking his sword out.

As it normally went. Last Boss slowly blinks, then ends up on his way. The walkie talkie goes off with Niragi’s voice announcing that he may have found one, and Last Boss silently acknowledges it, his walkie talkie continuing to go off as other militants ask for a description to keep an eye out for them.

—————————————————————————————————

Another hour passes, and even with Niragi’s discovery, they still couldn’t find anything. They ended up all taking a lunch break, passing around information on the topic over some sandwiches that Aguni made for everyone. “ So, our only lead is a girl with a beach ball?” Ann questions, her finger delicately wrapped around a sandwich. “ But you somehow lost here because….. you got hit in the face.” “ Fucking water…..” Niragi mutters, tearing a bite off of his own. Chishiya quietly smirks, leaning against the chair with his hands in his pockets. “ To think you got bested by water of all things. Who knew.” “ Shut it milk boy.” Niragi growls, mouth still partially full. Chishiya shifts slightly, getting comfortable. He doesn’t say anything, just watching and offering nothing more than a small lopsided smirk. “ This at least narrows the search. If we find that one person, we can find out who else might be responsible for this.” Aguni tells them all, and they all offer affirmatives in both nods and short agreements. “ So, the last place you saw them was….?” “ By the pool.” “ Right, so let’s search there thoroughly. It’d make no sense for anyone to bring a beach ball into the main building-“ Hatter busts into the dining area suddenly, grinning madly. “ I found them! I found them!” Everyone turns to look at Hatter, both with surprise and interest. Hatter rushes out of the hall, and soon everyone follows after him, Hatter running out and towards where the cars are. Once everyone got out there, they saw the culprit, or better yet, culprits. “ Hey! It’s the fucker with the beach ball!” Niragi yells out, pointing at the girl hanging out from the sunroof, grinning. She was partially covered with what was obviously Hatter’s beloved couch, haphazardly strapped to the car. If any of them squinted, they would also see her wearing one of Hatter’s kimonos, which only further incriminated her. “ And the hat person….” Last Boss mutters, squinting as an open robed person wearing what seemed to be a hoodie underneath judging by the hoodie atop their head hops into the drivers seat, the car roaring to life. Hatter frowns and begins to head over there, as does Aguni and his men, but the car quickly peels away, and laughter fills the air as Niragi and Aguni attempt to shoot the wheels useless and at the car, but whoever was driving managed to avoid every bullet, or really had no fear as they drove away, and the woman hanging out above the sunroof yeets an iridescent streamered beach ball, which added with the speed the car was going, made it a fearsome weapon as it hits Hatter square in the face.

He yelps in pain as he’s knocked back, and everyone watches as the car drives into the sunset, couch strapped to it, and Hatter sits up, rubbing his face. “ Clever, clever……” Hatter opens his eyes as iridescence rolls away from him, Hatter shaking his head. “ But no matter, once we find them….. They’ll pay. They’ll pay hard.” And for these little thieves, they better be ready to face the consequences if they were ever caught. But, at least they had fun doing it~

#aib #alice in borderland #aib fanfic #alice in borderland fanfic #hatter #takeru danma #morizono aguni #last boss #takatora samura #niragi suguru #chishiya shuntaro #mira kano #ann rizuna #kuzuryuu keiichi #kuina hikari #please don't take this seriously- #why did i write this #why did we steal a couch? #we got hats- #we got kimonos- #we got furniture-

[hyunjilicious]

The safest white - harry styles

Summary: When things with your abusive boyfriend reach a new level, Harry comes to the rescue. 5.7k Warnings: mentions of abuse. I hope you enjoy this! Please tell me what you thought! Your words make my day ❤

Never in your life had you thought you’d end up in a situation like this. Growing up, you got used to the idea of an ideal relationship, and for whatever reason, fell for the glamourized Hollywood look of the downs people went through as they fought for their partner. Real life hit you like a ton of bricks, put a cloth over your mouth and cut your legs from the knees down. Knowing you have to fight for what you want and know is right, even if faced with facts that contradicted your beliefs, you found yourself alone, screaming at nothing in the middle of a sea of darkness. Your own house. And you were screaming internally, because once again, you feared the man you used to call ‘love’. Droplets of sweat tickled your skin as they rushed down your sides, and your hands and feet, although cold, were damp too. You stood in the middle of the bedroom, facing the door. In some twisted way, you knew there was no chance for you to hide, so you stood there, ready take no more hits without hitting back. And harder. After pampering yourself with a pep talk, you ended up feeling quite confident. Confident that you’d get the fuck out of there with your head held fucking high, but it was a confidence that dissipated once the sound of your own phone ringing reached your ears. “Fuck” you mumbled to yourself, after you jumped out of fright. “No, no, no! Y/n. Get. Yourself. Together” You muttered these words through gritted teeth, repeating them over and over again, until the layer of unshed tears in your eyes became too thick and rushed down your cheeks, forcing you to fall to the ground. The impact made your knees sting, but the pain in your heart had already numbed every nerve ending in your entire body. You were at the edge of collapse, and you phone was still ringing. Wiping your face with the sleeve of your shirt, you crawled over to the bed and picked up your cell, only to see Harry’s smiling face on his ID photo along with the pouting emoji you added to his name. It didn’t even take a moment’s worth of consideration before you pressed the red button and declined the call. Not that you had any power left in your body to communicate with another human right now, but you also knew that if it was something important, he’d also send a text, letting you know the matter was indeed urgent. And it came. The text came about 15 seconds later in real time, but for you, it was all a haze. Again, you didn’t think about it. If you declined his call and he still insisted, something must’ve been up. 'Love, I’m stuck at the studio for at least another hour and my mum is coming over’ 'She’ll be at my house in about 20 minutes’ 'If I leave rn I’ll have to come back tomorrow and I want to spend the day with her’ 'Can you go over there’ 'Let her in and hang out or something’ 'Or if you’re busy can she come to you and wait for me there?’

No, way. There was no way you could face his mother right now. She always saw right through your bullshit. Starting with when you and Harry were 18 and started denied your feelings for one another and up until this year, when she sensed something was off with you. When you saw her 2 months ago, it took you about 3 hours to convince her nothing is wrong with you for the sole purpose of keeping Harry out of your relationship. All it took for her to notice you weren’t comfortable with your boyfriend was the way you answered a question about his whereabouts. After that, you had to make up a whole story to prove to her she didn’t need to worry. And they say actors are good liars. You felt you were going to choke with every lie to told her, and frankly, you were surprised she believed you in the end. Maybe it was just how much she trusted you. Nevertheless, you weren’t the person for the job.

You stared at the messages on your phone, and breathed out from the deepest depths of your lungs. You hated that you couldn’t help him right now, but knowing at least 3 other friends of Harry's should be available, you locked your phone and fell back down, leaning against the side of the bed. The mere thought of Harry and Anne calmed you down a bit, but when you went back to reality, another wave of misery hit you. You still had to get out of there, but opening the door to your bedroom was probably the most frightening thing on your mind. There was not much time for you to gather your thoughts and plan your next move before your phone buzzed again. 'You hung up on me. I know u can see these. Everything ok??’ Instantly, you palm connected to your forehead as you rolled your eyes in disbelief. “How did he-” you muttered, unlocking your phone, to assure him you were ok. As it turned out, your text wasn’t enough to convince him you were good, so he called. But for this, you didn’t have the power. This time you didn’t bother to hang up, you turned off your phone completely and fell down onto the carpet. The minutes that followed were excruciating. That is if there was even a matter of minutes, your sense of time wasn’t even hazy anymore, it was gone altogether. The cries you tried to muffle out of fear Jack would hear you from the other room, created an unsettling feeling in the pit of your stomach. If up until now it was all psychological, the spasming of your abdominal muscles were sure to force out everything you hadn’t eaten in the past two days. Just gastric acid was threatening to come up, but this feeling alone wasn’t enough to get you to stand up. By now, leaving the house wasn’t the problem anymore. It was the part of you that allowed yourself to be treated like trash that you didn’t know how to get rid of. At this point, the only thing you felt like doing was cracking your own chest open to rip out your heart and pick apart the broken parts. And not even that was good enough, you were afraid you’d be left with nothing. Since there was nothing you could do right now, you slowly stood up, and decided to head to the bathroom and clean yourself up in order to sneak out of the house. Messy hair and running mascara would draw attention to yourself on the street, and that was not something you could risk. As you walked across the bedroom, when you moved past the window, your eyes landed on Jack’s frame. He was sitting at the table in the back garden, drinking straight out of a bottle of Jack Daniels that was more empty than full. As messed up as that was, this sight gave you a rush of confidence. In this state, it was highly unlikely he’d hear you leave the house, and even if he did, you were positive you’d be able to outrun him. Once in the bathroom, the woman you saw in the mirror was not you. You refused to accept that you were in this state. It was a momentary lapse of character, from which you’d bounce back. You had to. In the shower, although feeling like you could break down all over again, you forced yourself to remain on track, and about 20 minutes later, you were back in your bedroom, putting on whatever clothes you found first. You checked the window. Jack was still there, scrolling on his phone. If you played your cards right, you could leave without your eyes landing on him again. You gathered your essentials - phone, charger, wallet, keys and whatever else you found completely necessary and walked over to the door, where you stopped. “I’ll take you less than three minutes to get to your car, Y/n” you whispered to yourself. “You can do this” You mumbled these words to yourself a few times, and when you raised your hand to open the door, the knob turned by itself and your heart fell two stories down. Already in overdrive, your adrenaline kicked in, sweating out of every pore as you instinctively looked for an object to use to defend yourself. All these defence mechanisms crumbled to the ground when you heard his voice. “Y/n?” because it was Harry, “Are yeh in here? Please, answer me!” You breathed out in relief, something you didn’t know you could feel again. You rushed to unlock the door, and he hurried inside at ungodly speed. “It’s Jack, ain’t it!?” he questioned with anger filled words, “I just got off with the phone with my mum, why didn’t yeh two say anything?” “I told her it was nothing” you mumbled, trying to avoid his eyes, but the way he held onto your cheeks made it impossible for you to look at anything else. “You did, yeah.” Harry nodded with despair, “And she believed yeh and now she’s blaming herself. Tell me. What happened? Where is he?” “God” you cried out and tried to lean your head back, but Harry stopped you and prompted you to look at him again. It worsened gradually, but by now, you barely managed to breathe properly as tears cascaded down your cheeks. “Hey, hey, hey” he breathed out, “Look at me, love. I’m here, ok? It’s over. I’m here. I got yeh” You tried to nod, but all you did was choke a sob and collapse into yourself, Harry barely managing to catch you. Holding you tight to his chest, he rocked you in his arms and rubbed the back of your head, “Its me, love. Its Harry”. He tried to chuckle, but pain was audible in his voice too. “Nothing will happen to yeh, ok? I swear on anything that I am, yeh're safe, yeah?” You wanted to nod, but when he moved his fingers up a bit across your scalp, you winced in pain, and he caught sight of it in an instant. “Did he hit you, Y/n?” he asked, pulling away to look into your eyes. You nodded no. For whatever reason, that was what you considered was the right answer. “Don’t lie to me, angel. Yeh don’ ever have to lie to me, ok?” “Ok” you muttered. “So did he?” “Yes..” And that was then the light in his eyes died. They started shining a particular type of darkness that terrified you to your bones. You froze. Your mind was too numb to act on your emotion, but when he brought you to his chest again, you finally realised your fear was unrooted. “Where is he?” Harry groaned in a deep tone. “Please, don’t” “I just want to talk to him” he fibbed. “Harry, I’m serious-” you cried, “Don’t do anything, I don’t want this anymore. I want it to be over. What if he tries to-” “Listen t' me, angel” he said sternly, looking straight into your eyes, “You’re crying. Shaking. I’ve never seen yeh like this. Ever. Not even close. Yer whole body shivered when I touched you. That man, hurt you. I don’t even want to think about what he actually did to you right now. Yeh’re the happiest, strongest woman I met in my entire life and he managed to bring you in this state. I won’t have that, ok? I won’t sleep again if doesn’t pay for this.” “Please, Harry” you whimpered, wiping some of your tears away. You placed your hands of top of his, and grabbed them tightly, “What if he does something to you, what if-” “Think about the girl that will come after you, hm? What about her? He’ll go on with his life thinking he doesn’t need to pay for his fucking demented behaviour, and she’ll walk straight into the lions den” “What if he hurts you?” “It won’t get to that, love. I’ll just talk to him. But I have to do this. I can’t not do it, you understand that, right?” After you reluctantly agreed, mostly because he wasn’t showing signs of giving up and you didn’t have it in you to fight him at that moment, you headed downstairs and he walked you to his car. Harry opened the door for you to climb in, but before that, you pressed yourself against him again, craving his touch and the feeling of safety it provided. “Oh, love” he sighed, rubbing your back. “I got yeh” You didn’t want to let him go, but you knew you had to. Eventually, you got into his car, but turned to him before closing the door. “You’re just gonna talk to him, alright?” you sniffled, “And then you’ll be right back, yeah?” “Yes, darlin’” Harry nodded and leaned in to kiss your forehead. “I’ll be right back” And with that, he left. You watched him walk into the house, your eyes remaining trained on his back until he was out of sight. Not knowing what was going on was driving you insane. Your phone was surely not going to provide any kind of distraction, you felt out of place, like you were sitting on a pile of nails as a train was approaching you at full speed. But there was nothing for you to do about it. Going in and joining the conversation was sure to make things worse, for all of you. It hurt that the right thing to do was sit and wait, you hated it, but you had to be patient. In need of something you keep your mind busy, you opened the glove compartment, and started rummaging through the junk that had pilled up there over the past few months. Mostly napkins, candy wrappers, McDonald’s straws, and seemingly, irrelevant stuff. Eventually, you came across some other things, like your old phone case, which you ended up discarding after you bought a new one while you were shopping with Harry for a birthday gift. There was also there a bottle of perfume, the kind you’ve been wearing for years, and in this one, there was barely anything left. Jumping jacks were taking place inside your heart. You knew Harry was the kind of guy every girl deserved in her life, but you wanted him for yourself only. It was mostly junk, and useless little things anyone would have forgotten existed, but he kept them. It didn’t take long before you got lost in thought again, but in the end, you decided to ignore any rush feelings you might be having, taking into consideration the emotional break down you have just been through. “Hey, love” Harry’s voice filled the air inside his car, as he flung the door open and climbed in in one swift motion. “Did you talk to him?” “Yeah” he said distraught and nodded, before turning around in his seat to check if it was safe to pull out. “With my fists” Your eyes snapped to his knuckles. Skin cracked and little droplets of blood peaking to the surface. However, he gripped the steering wheel as if it was nothing, and kept his smile on. What was most surprising, but actually not quite, was that he looked genuinely relieved. You sighed, “H, what happened?” “Nothing, love. I got there fuming ready to beat the guy to the pulp. But he was drunk outta his mind. I stopped then, I promise. I told him what I had to say but I doubt he understood a word I said” he confessed, grabbing your forearm and giving it a squeeze. “You said you were only gonna talk to him…” “That’s what I was planning on, I don’t- I don’t know what- anyway-” he mumbled, in between ragged breaths, “We’ll deal with it, ok? You won’t ever have to see him again. And he’s fine. He deserved so much worse, but I’m- I’m uh, I’m not-” “Thank you” you whispered, looking down at your hands, knowing any moment now the tears would come back. “Yeh don’t need to thank me, angel. I should have known sooner, this should never have happened” “I know… I’m sorry” “What’re yeh sorry about?” Harry asked, eyes trained on the road ahead, “None of this is your fault” “Then whose is it?” you exclaimed, “Hm?” “Fucking his!!” You tried to change the subject, but all you managed to do was drop this one. Nothing else held. Nothing was of interest, and even if it was, the timing was wrong. There was no way you could have started talking about what movie you just saw, and Harry clearly didn’t feel like boasting to you about what a great time he’s been having with his friends and family. Needless to say, for about 10 minutes, it was you, Harry and the sacred uncomfortable silence. “Can you drop me off at a hotel please” you asked, cringing a bit at your own words. “No, why?” He was clearly surprised, if not offended. “I- uh” you mumbled, too ashamed to use a normal tone of voice. “It’s your mum, H. I can’t see her right now. I don’t want to talk about this anymore, nor do I want someone else to worry about me. I promise I’ll be better tomorrow, and I’ll come hang out. Get a coffee or something” “Is that the only reason you want to go to a hotel?” “Yeah…” “Perfect” Harry nodded, “She’s not at my place. Didn’t expect you to be in the mood for company. But you shouldn’t be by yourself. I can drop you off wherever ya want, but not if you’re gonna be alone”. He took your silence for an answer. “My place it is, then” And you got to his house, and even if you had been there millions of times before, you felt out of place. You were afraid he bought you here out of mercy or sympathy, despite what he had just said. The atmosphere was different, and for whatever reason, you didn’t feel like home. For years, his house and anywhere near him, you felt your safest, yet today, you were afraid anything you’d say or do would be out of place. “Yeh know how this works” Harry said, walking into the kitchen, “It’s your home too, don’t shy away” “I know” you chuckled, and it did sound fake and it was obvious he noticed, but none of you pointed it out. “Are you hungry? Want something to drink? Tea? We can order something-” “I’m fine, thanks though” you sighed, slowly advancing towards him. You leaned your hip against one of the counters, silently awaiting his next move. But he didn’t quite do anything, except change his expression into one of maybe confusion. This must have been hard for him too, you didn’t know what you needed to hear, how could he have possibly known what to say? “Do you wanna watch something?” you asked, wanting to relieve some of the pressure. To be fair, you were not in the mood to watch any movie, but you figured laying down next to him would be calming and an easy way to avoid unwanted conversation. “Yeah, 'course” Harry nodded. “Actually... Got any wine?” He seemed completely taken aback, but soon enough, he came back to reality, offering to get the alcohol while you picked something you wanted to watch. It wasn’t a difficult choice. Seinfeld was a sure option, since you both liked it and it required almost no concentration at all. Just as you laid down on his couch, Harry came back into the living room, two tall glasses in his hands, and a bottle of while under his arm. “Figured white wine was safer, dunno how much we’re gonna drink, and nothing is worse than a red wine hangover” “Just how drunk do you think I wanna get?” you laughed, taking the glasses from him. “As drunk as yeh want, love” Harry smiled, pulling out a corkscrew, “The choice is yours” “Just don’t let me start ranting or anything” “Yeah…” he cringed, sucking in a deep breath as he squinted his eyes, “Can’t promise yeh that. Ya know I’m a sucker fo’ yer drunken ramblings” “Oh shut up” you scoffed. “And why did you bring these?” you questioned, pointing to the glasses, “Don’t you know me at all? Or are you suddenly grossed out by my germs?” “When you put it like that, it sounds gross, yes” Harry laughed out loud, before clutching the corkscrew tight into his hand and opening up the bottle, “But still, I’d be happy to exchange germs with you” “Oh wow” “Wha'?” Harry belted, playfully offended, “Yeh started it!” “Well, it sounds so much worse when some else says it” None of you could ever win this. He came over to the couch and motioned for you to scoot over. During the first episode, you kept your distance, but as the minutes passed and as the level of wine slowly lowered, so did the space between your bodies. By the third episode, Harry was laying down on his back with his knees bent, as you leaned back against his calves. That was when you opened up the second bottle. Still white wine, still safe. Harry's words. Every now and then one of you would chuckle, and in case too much time would pass without one of you making a sound, the other would gently ask an “You asleep?” even though both your minds were way too busy to be able to relax enough to drift off. When you almost finished this bottle too, Elaine was throwing a fuss, in the middle of Jerry’s living groom over some guy she went to gym with. “He wiped his hand on the top of the bottle when I offered him water” she said offended through the TV screen, making you stand up and turn to Harry. “This is the universe, love” he laughed but instantly you shushed him, knowing what line was next. “Are you kidding?” Elaine said again, “He should be craving my germs!” And at that, you both burst into laughter. “I had no idea this was the episode” you barely managed to say in between your crazy giggles. “Is it a coincidence?” Harry smirked, “Think not!” “You’re drunk” “So are yeh!” he defended himself, as if it would change anything. “You know what else I am?” “What?” You picked up the bottle and finished whatever was left in it, and then turned to him with a proud smile on your face, “Ready for the third one” “Stand up” Harry commanded and pointed to the space right in front of the couch. “Why?” “Do three pirouettes and if yeh don’t stumble I’ll open another one” “Buzz kill” you pouted and slapped his legs, “No” “I’ll do it with you” he laughed, and when he stood up, you reluctantly did too. When he motioned for you to do the pirouettes, another smile crept up your lips, “At least put some music on if you want to see my moves” “Oh, is that how it’s gonna be?” he laughed, walking over to his phone on the table, “Are we gonna dance in the living room like the crazy people in those sappy chick movies we used to watch?” “Why do you have to be an asshole?” you joked, leaning your head to the side. “Because-” was all he managed to say before the music turned on, making him stop talking as he silently laughed. “Why-” you exclaimed, “On Earth, were you listening to My Heart Will Go On? Is Harold in love?” “I have a good explanation!” Harry jumped to defend himself, pointing a finger at you, “I tried to learn it” “On guitar I hope” you teased. “Ha, very funny” “Oh my god, Harry!” you burst into laughter, “I’m assuming you nailed it on the first try” “Yess!” he threw his head back, cheeks all red, “Celine stand back, I’m coming for yer money” “What would it take to convince you to sing it to me?” “Sing it with me” Harry responded in an instant, and it might have been the alcohol, but it didn’t even take a second before you agreed. You both grabbed one of the empty bottles as microphones, and sang your hearts out. Even though Harry had the vocal capability to reach some of those notes and sing full verses correctly, nothing that came out of his mouth sounded right. And if you were to carefully listen to the atrocities that came out of yours, you’d feel the need to hide for a week to finally get rid of the embarrassment. But you didn’t care. And neither did he. Harry only got like this if he was in a truly good mood. He wasn't always bubbly and childish, especially not today after everything that happened, and you knew a bottle of wine wasn’t enough to awaken this side of him, but still, he danced his hips into exhaustion, providing you with all the good energy you didn’t think you could possibly get. Your performance ended when some Creedence song started, and you walked over and pressed yourself against Harry’s chest. Since you got to his house, you gradually started to feel better, but it all came so naturally, you literally had to stop and check in order to actually realize it. “Thank you” you mumbled into his shirt. “Don’t need to thank me, love” Harry said softly, rubbing your back, “Seeing you loosen up and smile makes me feel better too” His words warmed up your heart from the inside, and it was probably the amount of emotions that you felt in the last 12 hours that caused you to have so little self control, but your eyes watered. At that point, thinking someone’s happiness relied on yours, was too much for your mind to process. Especially considering that for the last few weeks, it had been quite the opposite. A lot of things came to mind. There were a lot of things you felt like saying to him. Somehow, you couldn’t escape the need to thank him again and again, you wanted to tell him how amazing he was, how much of a blessing he was. Right then and there you got emotional you wanted to rant your heart out, but in the end, you lacked the courage. For some reason, even though you had nothing but good things to say, you were afraid to do so, embarrassed even. “Still-” you said softly as you pulled away from his chest. Your eyes rose up to meet his, and he welcomed you with the same warmth he had been showing all day, “I don’t know how to exactly say this, but I know that there’s no one in my life who would have dropped everything and came to check up on me, but you did. And I know you don’t want to hear me thanking you again, but I’m so so grateful you’re in my life” you confessed, breaking into a light sob. The change of atmosphere was too sudden. He didn’t see this coming, and you didn’t know you wouldn’t be able to finish your statement without a cascade of tears streaming down your cheeks again. “Love” Harry cooed, grabbing your cheeks and wiping your tears away with his thumbs. The heat from his palms gave you a newfound sense of reality, forcing your thoughts to spiral again. “Y/n, I love yeh. So much. Yeh need to realize that someone taking care of you isn’t out of the ordinary” “It is for me, Harry” “I’ll fix yeh” he chuckled, and it was so weak, and his eyes cried because he had to do so. “And we can talk about it, or you can talk and I can listen, tonight, tomorrow, three weeks from now at 3am. Whenever yeh’re ready, I’m here for you, ok? I fucking love yeh so much, Y/n. Don’t push me away, because I’m here for you no matter what, ok? I want to be” His words, his tone of voice, calm but also disturbed and with traces of pain audible in it, the way his hooded eyes bore into yours, the way his chest rose and fell with every breath he took, was all too much. “I don’t wanna talk about it right now because I’m afraid I might say things I shouldn’t” “If you mean it, you have the right to say it. It’s that simple, love” he smiled reassuringly. You contemplated telling him how much you loved him and how it has been him all the time, but you were afraid he would put it on account of everything that had happened during the day, and that he would brush it off. The last thing you wanted was for Harry to believe your feelings for him weren’t solid. And on top of it all, up until a few hours ago you were in a relationship, and it felt wrong to admit that all this time you have been thinking of another man. “Maybe some other time” you finally said, pushing aside the topic and putting some distance between the two of you. “Whenever that may be” he nodded, “I’m here, yeah?” A whole pile of tangled emotions filled up your chest, and you needed an escape. A chance to put your thoughts in order before you said something you’d later regret. The wine was threatening to force out some confessions, and you decided a shower would be the perfect opportunity to delay them. You stayed in the bathroom for a questionable long time, but when you walked out, wrapped in a towel, Harry was still awake, watching the TV. He had laid on the bed some clothes of his for you to wear, and you couldn’t help but giggle to yourself when you finally understood why there were two shirts. The first one was neatly folded, but you didn’t really pay attention to it. The second one, a bit to the side, was obviously recently worn, so you didn’t think twice when you chose this one, the scent of his cologne tickling your senses. After putting the pair of sweatpants on too, you headed back to the living room, where Harry was comfortably laying down on the couch. He signaled for you with his arms open to join him, and you did so in an instant, cuddling into his chest. “There’s only a bit left of the game. 10 minutes tops. Mind if we watch this? I can put Seinfeld back on if you want to” “Oh, no. It’s ok.” you shook your head, “Just tell me who we’re rooting for” “The blue ones, love” Harry laughed kissing the top of your head. After you both shuffled a bit and settled back down in a more comfortable position, with his arms wrapped around you and your head buried into his neck, you only managed to comment on a few moments of the game before falling asleep. Next thing you knew, Harry was rubbing your arm up and down and whispering softly to get your attention. “Let’s go to sleep, Y/n” “No” you mumbled, turning your head so he couldn’t see your face. “Its much more comfortable, angel, I promise” he laughed. “I said no” you giggled back. “I’ll let yeh sleep here then” When he tried to pull away, you tightened your hold around his middle, “No” “Do you know any words other than no?” Harry laughed out loud. “No” His chest shook as he chuckled at your antics, “We’ll sleep here then” “Yess” you smiled and turned to face him again. He seemed amused, but even so, he looked down at you with awe in his eyes. After taking his shirt and his watch off, you both resumed your position on the couch, but this time, you had your back pressed against his chest. “I knew you were gonna chose this shirt” Harry spoke up a second after you closed your eyes, “But it’s weird because you smell like me now” “Harry?” you questioned, playing with his fingers, “Are there things you want to say, but you’re too afraid to?” It took a while before he answered, but you waited patiently. “Yeh mean in general?” “No” you said and squeezed your eyes shut, cringing in anticipation. “I mean now” This time he didn’t answer. Maybe he would have, but when you figured enough time passed, you turned around in his hold. If the answer was no, there would have been no reason for him to hesitate, so you took his silence for a yes. It was a risk you were willing to take. “Good night, Ni” you said and pressed your lips against his; it was hurried, it barely lasted for two short seconds but you put your soul into this kiss and it sent your heart into overdrive. After you pulled away, you turned around immediately and settled back into your spot. He was silent, not one of his muscles flinched. Maybe it was the wine. You shouldn’t have done that. You wanted to move. Not touch him anymore, never see him again. It felt like you ruined the best thing that ever happened to you, all because you couldn’t control yourself. And you were so close. You should have just laughed at his remark about the smell of his shirt and then go to sleep. Why wasn’t he saying anything? This was wrong, and you felt like you couldn’t breathe. “Would yeh have done that if things with Jack happened differently? If they ended on good terms? Or if we weren’t drunk?” “Yes” you whispered, your voice cracking, “I wanted to do that for a long long time. But I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry, forget it” “Will never” he said, and then brought you closer to kiss your neck, “And don’t be sorry” “I love you, Harry” “I love yeh”. He kissed your scalp and spoke into your hair, “The most”

-

Hey, guys! In case you read this far and thought this sounds similar (or maybe exactly the same) to another fic posted on here, it’s because I had previously uploaded it to another blog. It was a Niall imagine at first but then i was like hm... Harry! Anywayyyy i hope you liked this! Please don’t hesitate to tell me what you thought!

#harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfic #harry styles one shot #harry styles angst #harry styles writing #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fic #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #1dff

[angryhausfrau-writes]

I Travel Troubled Oceans: Chapter 21 - In Which Jack and Charles Have a Conversation

Jack and Charles tumble into bed, laughing. The party's over but Jack's still hopped up on the almost manic beat of the dancefloor and the feel of Charles pressed against him, skin to skin. They roll together until Jack is atop a grinning, panting Charles, his own grin nearly splitting his face in two.

And then they're kissing. Deep and almost lazy, like ocean breakers against the shore. Unending and eternal and unfathomably deep.

It's perfect. It's everything Jack's been dreaming about for weeks and weeks. He breaks the kiss.

“Is this real?”

They've spun so many gossamer dreams over the past months. So many shimmering impossible realities. Made to trap and to trick and to misdirect their marks.

It's possible Jack himself has gotten trapped.

Charles looks up at him.“You mean me being in love with you?”

In love with him? “Yes,” Jack manages to choke out. “That.”

Charles shrugs. “Yeah.” As if it's just that easy. And then he asks, “Is it real for you?”

“Of course it's real! I've been in love with you for weeks! Months!” Jack's almost indignant that Charles could think otherwise. But at least it means Jack hasn't looked as ridiculously lovestruck as he'd feared. “Wait, how long've you been in love with me?”

Charles shrugs again. “It might've taken me a while to figure out, after everything with Eleanor and Flint and that whole fucking mess, but I've known for a while.”

“Then why the fuck didn't you say anything Chaz?”

The idea that Jack could have had this – possibly for weeks! It's galling!

Never mind the fact that he could have said something too.

“It wasn't real, us being boyfriends,” Charles says, matter of fact. “It was just for the con. And I – even if this ain't my usual kinda job, I'm not going to fuck it up just cuz of how I feel.”

He looks at Jack, now, and he looks frustrated, brow furrowed and fists clenched. Such a difference from a moment ago, when everything had been light and happy. Fantastical.

“I almost threw everything away over Eleanor,” Charles says. “I already almost fucked us during one of the most important jobs we ever pulled - I wasn't gonna do that again. Flint's job. His whole plan for us and all the rest of the crews. The stakes were too high for me to be led around by my cock. But I fucked us over for a chance with someone who didn't give a flying fuck about me.”

Because it wasn't just his cock Eleanor'd led Charles around by – she'd had him by the heart. Which was the bigger problem – if she'd just been a good fuck, Charles wouldn't have kept coming back over and over again after every betrayal.

And he's got the same problem with Jack. It isn't just that he wants to fuck him. He is in love with him.

And when Charles loves someone, there's nothing he wouldn't do for them, for that chance at loving them and being loved by them. Even if they use that fact against him, again and again and again.

And Jack's already betrayed him once, for much less than their current con is worth. Who's to say he wouldn't do it again, if he thought he had to. If he thought that was the only way to keep himself and Anne – the first and truest love of Jack's life – safe.

And Charles wouldn't even blame him for it. He understands what it means to be backed into a corner, with no good way out of it except the way that's filled with blood and death and betrayal. So he'd made sure to never back Jack into that corner.

“The stakes are always that high, now, the jobs we're pulling,” Charles continues. “And I'm not going to fuck us over again. Especially since we're supposed to be pretend boyfriends. I wouldn't put you in that position. I wouldn't force that on you when you couldn't say no.”

He's looking at Jack like he's willing Jack to believe him. Like he can make Jack agree through sheer force of will.

But Jack doesn't agree.

“You're so full of shit, Charles.”

He looks startled. Like Jack had slapped him.

“You wouldn't be forcing me into anything. I want this. It – I thought you didn't.”

Frankly, Jack didn't really think Charles could fall in love. Or that he'd want to – particularly with Jack.

Because he's right about love and betrayal and everything. Jack's no Eleanor – who he'd always thought Charles had loved more for the idea of her, the image of strength and pure ballsyness she'd professed, even if it had been a hollow facade. Charles wasn't looking for tenderness – he was looking for a fellow captain. The meanest fuck on the block. Someone who could spill as much of his blood as Charles spilled of theirs. Not a coupling, not a partnership, but a fight for dominance.

And Jack thought Charles was a bloody fool for letting Eleanor lead him around for as long as she did. For letting her betraying him. For letting her use him – though she's more than reaped her reward for all of that.

But he'd thought he'd understood what Charles was looking for. And it sure as hell wasn't the kind of love Jack found himself feeling for him.

“I didn't think you'd want, well, romance. Long walks on the beach. Quiet nights in, all that romance novel rot.”

Charles snorts a bit at that.

“See, that just proves my point! You're not the sort for candlelight dinners and breakfasts and-”

“Bubble baths and cuddling and all that sissy shit, right?” Charles raises a sardonic eyebrow. “All that shit that'd make me weak?”

Jack blushes. “It's possible I may have miscalculated slightly.”

There's a pause.

Charles looks off to the side. And Jack thinks maybe the issue's closed for the time being. But then Charles lets out a long breath. “I used to think like that. My whole fucking life was about being the toughest and the strongest. No attachments, no weaknesses.”

No love. No tenderness.

“But it's not weakness. It's strength.”

Charles turns to Jack, looks him right in the eye.

“We're partners in this thing, Jack. All of us. And there won't be any betrayal, because it would be betraying ourselves as well.”

“You can't know that,” Jack says, sounding frustrated himself now. “You can't know that we wouldn't ever fight. That we wouldn't ever have different ideas about how things should be run – that we wouldn't ever betray each other because of that.”

They've all betrayed each other so many different times. Pulled in different directions by what they thought was the best way forward – the best way to keep each other safe. Jack has betrayed Charles and he has betrayed Anne and he has betrayed Max. And been betrayed in turn. He knows intimately the pain and the fear and the confusion and the hurt that follows. Just as he knows the sick twisting triumphant shame.

“I asked Anne about that. About how it was so easy for me to love you, even though you'd betrayed me. And you know what she said? The whole point of this con, the whole point of being rich fucks, and of fucking over the system from the inside – the whole point of that is so that things are easy, now. So we don't have to struggle. We don't have to be afraid anymore. We can just live. Like all them rich fuckers get to do.”

Jack doesn't know that it's quite as easy as all that. But Anne's right, they aren't living like that anymore. Scared and fractured and trying desperately to stay just one step, just a half step even, ahead of the slavering jaws of enemies much more powerful than they could ever hope to defeat.

They have the luxury of time now, and of choice.

“I suppose we can't promise we'd never fight,” Jack says gently, thoughtfully. “Any one of us. But we've got time now, to come to a decision – together.”

Charles grunts in agreement.

And Jack supposes it doesn't hurt to try. To reach out for this one thing he'd never thought he'd get to have. With someone he'd never thought would want it.

“Anne and Max and Mary are all making it work, after all,” Jack muses, half under his breath. And they have almost more issues than Jack and Charles. “Suppose we gave it a try.”

Charles grins, sharp. “Suppose we did.”

“I get to be the one to tell Anne,” Jack says, calling dibs because otherwise Anne'll let on how desperately Jack's been pining after Charles. And that's just too embarrassing.

“You'll just make a whole big show of it,” Charles grumbles. But in a way that means he wouldn't really mind it all that much.

Jack just gives him a look.

“Yeah, all right.” And Charles heaves a put upon sigh. “You'll be fucking insufferable otherwise.”

“Oh you know you love me,” Jack says, with a coquettish fluttering of his eyelashes.

“God help me, I do.”

A pause.

And then Charles glares up at Jack again. “This is the part where you say you love me too.”

In truth, Jack feels rather giddy knowing his affections are returned. But he's not about to admit that. Admit how looking into Charles's eyes makes him feel like his insides are full of bubbling champagne. How his heart beats faster whenever Charles stands too near him. How much Jack would like to shout his infatuation from the rooftops so that everyone knows he's absolutely besotted.

He can't admit any of that, so sarcasm and good-natured teasing it is.

“Oh, who wouldn't want to date you, Chaz? Such an exemplar of charm and good manners.”

“Fuck you, Jack.”

Charles pushes him off and Jack lays sprawling, looking sideways at Charles. He's got a genuine smile on his face, and Jack's sure his own grin matches.

“Love to, darling. But not tonight. We really ought to get some sleep.”

“Hmmm,” Charles hums low in agreement.

There's another, longer, sleepier pause.

“Like it when you call me that,” Charles says, sounding half asleep already.

“What, darling?”

“Yeah. Know it doesn't mean anything. But s'nice.”

Jack snuggles back against the pillows and makes a note to come up with the sappiest fucking nicknames for Charles he can think of.

--

Jack and Charles come down to breakfast the next morning, blushing and smiling and holding hands and Anne doesn't need to be a genius to figure out that they've finally figured out that they're stupidly in love with one another. The oblivious idiots.

“Oh. My. God,” is Mary's assessment. “Fucking finally.”

The two just grin and hold hands and blush harder.

#black sails #charles vane/jack rackham #anne bonny/max #i travel troubled oceans #chapter 2

[fanficshiddles]

Lucky win, One shot

Thank you for the prompt torukun1 I hope you like it!

Crimson Peak Ghost Sex, maybe?

Was wondering if you could write a fic where the premise is, a girl wins the lottery and decides to buy and restore a super old, dilapidated British estate to live in (which just so happens to be Crimson Peak) and the manor being restored to its former glory reawakens Thomas Sharpe’s ghost and while she’s sleeping…well…things happen, y'know?

-

Anne couldn’t believe it when she won the lottery, she was finally able to buy that wonderful old mansion on the hill that she had gazed upon for years every day.

So many people wondered why she was doing something so crazy with her money, spending it on that old place. The house was almost in ruins, the roof was collapsed in many places and it was a very eery house. Kids from the local town tended to use it for Halloween, going there for dares to scare one another.

But Anne had always gazed at it from afar, intrigued by its history. She had researched the Sharpe’s at length, learning all about them. And about everything that had went on in the house. She knew the family died there, but it still didn’t put her off.

Anne came up with all the plans and ideas herself. She wanted to try and keep as much of it the same as possible, just restoring the walls and the roof, obviously. The floors too would need replaced. Then a lick of paint and some updating with the furniture, it would be a wonderful home to live in once it was finished.

She was sure of it.

It took just under a year to complete, but Anne had known that to get it just right it would take a long time. But it was completely worth it.

She wandered around her new home in awe. The movers had just finished moving the last of her stuff in, then left her to it.

Anne barely had enough furniture and possessions to fill the living room, kitchen and what was to be her bedroom, never mind the entire place. But she still had plenty of money leftover from her win, so she would soon have all the rooms filled with new furniture.

She spent the rest of the afternoon unpacking everything. Making the mansion nice and homely. It had been restored fully, no more leaks or damp, it didn’t creak like it used to. She had managed to keep the original layout, just with a more updated look.

It was bright now, painted in brighter colours with new windows installed to let in a lot of natural light.

Eventually when she fell into bed, she was exhausted. It had been a tiring day, mentally and physically. But exciting, too. Though she fell asleep soundly as soon as her head hit the pillow.

In the middle of the night, she was awoken by a weird chill that ran down her spine. She shivered and pulled the blanket further around her, to keep her cosy. She dozed off again, but was slipping in and out of sleep, a weird dream started to plague her.

There was a cool hand stroking her leg, slowly. When it felt like it moved further up, to her thigh, she opened her eyes and looked around the room, feeling strange. Her skin was tingling from where she’d dreamed about the hand.

With a sigh she put her head back down on the pillow and rolled onto her back to a more comfortable position. But then her eyes flew open when she was certain that she felt a hand tug at her knickers.

She attempted to sit up again, but found she couldn’t. It was like she was paralysed. Her eyes widened and fear flooded through her, the room definitely felt colder. What the hell was going on?

Whatever it was that was touching her took it up a level. Her knickers were slowly peeled all the way down her legs and off. Two cool hands then gripped her ankles and spread her legs apart, no matter how much she tried to close them, she couldn’t.

The hands slowly stroked up her legs, reaching higher and higher. As the hands got closer, she got more and more scared. Her lower lip was quivering, she tried to call out but her voice wasn’t working.

‘Don’t be scared, Anne.’ A voice filled the room, making her heart pound hard in her chest.

‘My name is Sir Thomas Sharpe. This is my home, too. You’ve done a wonderful job of restoring it. I simply wanted to give you my thanks.’ The voice purred, oddly arousing her.

But she tried to push that thought down, she had to be dreaming. Surely she was dreaming… Wasn’t she?

The hands she felt on her thighs was stroking her softly, not moving further up, to her relief. But then she felt like her body was suddenly light as a feather and she was able to move again. She scrambled up the bed and clutched her blanket against her tightly as she looked around the room.

‘Wh… what do you want?’ She called out.

‘I told you what I want, Anne. I just want to thank you. And it has been so long since I’ve had company.’ Thomas said softly, he brushed her cheek with the back of her hand.

She let out a whimper, a mixture of fear and something else… It slid down and cupped her breast through her night gown, making her gasp. She wasn’t sure what was worse, the fact she was being felt up by a ghost, or the fact she couldn’t actually see said ghost, just feel him.

‘You don’t need to fear me, darling. Just let me pleasure you.’ She shivered, swearing she could feel his breath against her neck as he spoke.

She felt his hands underneath her night gown now, stroking over her skin. He teased her nipples, making them stand to attention, before then suckling them in turn. His mouth felt surprisingly warm in comparison to his hands, a nice contrast.

‘Oh… Oh god.’ She moaned, her head falling back.

Part of her was starting to think, what the heck. She was either dreaming, or this was actually happening. But so far, he didn’t seem like a dangerous ghost, so where was the harm in letting him pleasure her? From her research about the Sharpe’s, Thomas was a kind soul who was just misguided by his sister… It was her she was going to have to watch out for.

Thomas moaned around her nipples, sending vibrations through her. But suddenly the sucking stopped, there was no contact from the ghost at all. She wasn’t sure if he was gone or not.

She had just been about to ask, when she was pulled further down the bed again by her legs. She let out a squeal as she felt cool fingers prodding between her thighs, then a long digit slipped into her. She was already aroused so it moved easily within her, twisting and curling, this way and that.

‘Ohhh, my.’ She bucked her hips up, wanting more as she grabbed the sheets beneath her.

Thomas added a second finger, making sure to hit her g spot as he fingered her slowly yet firmly. He certainly knew what he was doing, she thought.

He worked her up nicely, bringing her to a slow and pleasurable orgasm that started in her toes and spread up through her entire body, making her feel really warm and fuzzy.

‘You are so beautiful, Anne. I’m very lucky that you bought my home, you awakened me once more. And I fully intend to enjoy you.’ He growled low.

Anne then felt something broader press against her and slowly push in. She knew without doubt that was his cock. She couldn’t help but look down, throwing the blanket off her. She could see her pussy lips spread wide open around the invisible cock that was fucking her. The sight should’ve terrified her, but instead it only fuelled her arousal.

Thomas started moaning and grunting above her, she could sense him there. But oh how she wished she could’ve actually seen him.

His cock filled her so well, hitting every single inch inside of her, no part of her went un-pleasured. She was already close, but he stimulated her clit anyway, making it a million times better for her.

‘Ohhh, Thomas!’ She cried out, coming hard around his ghostly cock.

Thomas grunted hard in her ear and thrust deeply into her, stilling as he throbbed and came. He shot his load into her and, surprisingly, she felt it. It was really warm, much warmer than his cock.

She was panting and could barely move when the ghost pulled out of her. Her cunt throbbed, missing being filled already.

‘Delightful.’ Thomas growled. ‘I think I will keep you.’

Anne was sure she felt his lips press against her forehead softly. But she passed out, exhausted and well satisfied.

-

When she woke in the morning, the sun was shining in the window. She stretched up and groaned as she felt slightly uncomfortable down below. She realised she didn’t have her knickers on and when she reached down between her thighs, she could feel the sticky mess from her ghostly encounter.

‘Shit!’ She gasped, realising it was real and had not been a dream.

‘I’d hardly say the sex was shit, darling. On the contrary, I’d say it was bloody amazing.’ Came a voice from the corner of her room.

When she looked over, her eyes widened and her mouth fell open.

There sitting on her chair, was Sir Thomas Sharpe himself.

She could see him.

#sir thomas sharpe #tom hiddleston #lucky win #one shot #fan fiction #prompts

[ramblingguy54]

Which moments from DuckTales, Amphibia, and Owl House are the saddest so far in your eyes?

I think this is most likely the same Anon ask from before that I haven’t answered, due to being busy with stuff on my end and if so my apologies for not getting back to ya sooner. Without further ado, let’s get this reply started.

To answer this question now, I’d say for DuckTales (2017) anything surrounding Della’s character arc and disappearance that led to serious negative consequences for the entire McDuck family. Last Crash Of The Sunchaser was by far the biggest gut punch of this series easily, no question about it. Scrooge’s silent montage was the most amazingly heartbreaking material that I’ve ever seen from the show and it holds a special place in my heart for doing that. They gave Scrooge a seriously complicated layer of development from that profound revelation of how he did everything in his power and would even risk fucking bankruptcy to find his niece. Also, Lena’s character backstory is another one I’d throw onto the pile. Lena and Della share some of the most dramatic material they’ve been given in the reboot for new character additions whether you’re looking at Lena trying to cope in new ways to all the abuse she suffered at Magica’s hands for years or Della trying to be a better parent and learning the struggles of when to put her foot down on the kids, as seen with the powerfully crafted Timephoon confronting Louie’s selfish actions, which in turn are a reminder for Della’s big mistake of taking the Spear Of Selene because she was so sure of herself as a seasoned adventurer and wanted to go above all else to shower her children with love by as Scrooge said, “Giving them the stars.”. Don’t get me started on Last Christmas either as that’s another bittersweet episode, too. One more I’d throw onto the pile would be Louie’s reprisal of the Moon Lullaby to pick Della up outta her PTSD of losing everything again. She was so sure that a special part of herself didn’t stick with the kids, but Donald made sure it did and I love that moment like crazy from Season 2′s finale, Moonvasion.

Moving on to Amphibia, I’d say this series has managed to deliver some hard hitting material that arguably ties with DuckTales dramatic stuff, too. Sasha’s remorseful suicide attempt in Season 1′s finale shocked the Hell outta me and made myself a guaranteed fan by that point of Ampihba’s storytelling about the concept of friendships and when some can turn into abusive toxic relationships. Amphibia has great build up to that pay off. Marcy’s reunion with Anne I’d say was also pretty sad because underneath all the tearful happiness was Anne’s PTSD from fear of losing another close friend, as if she was her own sister, just like what happened with her falling out against Sasha before. Sprig Plantar’s determination to make Hop Pop proud because he’s so insecure about being the trouble maker in the Plantar family. In other words, anything that revolves around Sprig & Hop Pop’s relationship about getting closer as a family. Polly’s own insecurities about being the youngest can lead to some sad stuff in its own right, like the episode where Anne judges Polly’s spitting as being a “disgusting slob” and Polly Trucker where she felt neglected, too. Amphibia’s Season 2 has been doing an excellent job building upon dramatic material from Season 1, as seen no less with its recent episode, Hopping Mall, where it doesn’t hold back on the underlying message of a parent’s connection with their son or daughter, which in this scenario were Mothers’. Seeing Anne discuss how much she loved these little things, such as her tone deaf singing, showcased the solitude she tries to cope with in this new crazy world she’s been thrown into. Then you got Sprig who puts on a whole cheery facade throughout trying his best to help Anne get that reward prize from Smash & Carts, while hiding all that baggage from never knowing his own Mother because she suddenly passed away when him and Polly were still very young. Like, damn, the silent hug that broke Sprig into tears was a great use of show don’t tell about how these two kids feel in this moment.

Last but not least, The Owl House. Saddest stuff right off the bat are three words. Amity. Fucking. Blight. Her entire character arc is soul crushing because she was raised to be an arrogant piece of crap by her toxic parents, much like Pacifica Northwest in Gravity Falls. However, after meeting Luz she began to finally change seeing all the pure kindness and determination she had at bettering not only just at magic spell casting, but as a person as well. The fact that she gave up her friendship with Willow to save her from being banned from enrolling in the same school together speaks volumes of her love for her former friend, who soon grew deeply bitter at Amity’s shitty behavior toward for from those years forward. That one quote hit me like a truck, “Willow, you were never too weak to be my friend. I was too weak to be your’s...”. Amity’s my favorite character in the series for how well the writers approached the idea of a bully archetype and subverting that trope into something really profound in putting the spotlight on her underlying humanity beneath all that bravado her parents taught her to have. Eda’s complex chemistry with her sister, Lilith, is another one that was sad as Hell. These two sisters used to have a real respect for each other, but their difference in life choices separated them soon afterwards. Every time Lilith interacted with Eda, you could tell she wanted to help her remove the nasty curse that Lilith placed upon her. Lilith really wanted to help Eda, despite working for a seriously corrupt tyrant, just through different means that are very questionable, of course as a well intentioned extremist. Lilith’s immediate regret after saying, “Then why were you so easy to curse!?”, goes on to further reinforce that notion that Lilith felt terrible for putting Eda under a curse that was never her intent to be a permanent spell, but only one for a short amount of time.

So, there you go, there’s detailed my two cents finally. =P

#anon asks #the owl house #ducktales 2017 #amphibia #my two cents #anon answers #disney tva

[yalejacobson]

💢 : your muse picks mine up & carries them over their shoulder .

[ symbol meme ] / flashback, pre-kidnapping.

there had been very few things to laugh about in recent months - in fact, yale couldn't remember the last time she'd let herself get absolutely sauced. sure, there was a certain level of alcohol in her blood almost daily - a concerning amount for a general person - but she'd always had a higher tolerance. she considered it the one gift her mother had given her - a preference for whiskey and dangerous men who pissed her off as much as they intrigued her.

those who worked at the bar knew her well enough to leave her there when their shifts were done - the rest of the town was asleep, probably, but she and vic were still working their way through the shitty homebrew that was hitting her harder than she expected. too much yeast, or not enough, or something about the fermenting process - she didn't pretend to understand how to make alcohol, just knew it kept her nerves at bay. the worry about her sister when she was out in the open world, her general malaise at the state of the world, the constant discontent that settled in her bones.

"i dunno about you," she groaned, laying back against the vinyl of the booth they were in, her vision blurred and her head woozy, "but i may just accept my role as town drunk and crash here tonight." the thought of walking back - even the few streets over to her place, her bed warm and inviting and beckoning her - was torture. "every small town needs a drunk, right?"

"not you," victor replied, his voice somehow steadier than hers, warm like honey in her mind as she smiled up at the ceiling, "not tonight."

it was really infuriating that he was more sober than she was - maybe he'd stopped drinking before she had, which was also rude, or maybe it was just because he was twice her size that he could handle it better. or maybe hers had been stronger - did they still make roofies these days? she couldn't imagine anyone willing to risk it, considering how she'd kick their ass when she was sober again, but she supposed crazier things had happened.

"c'mon," he said, grabbing her hands and pulling her up, her feet taking a moment to find solid ground as she swayed against him. she hummed in something like agreement, though she wasn't sure which one of him was real as she tried to steady herself, his image doubled in front of her as he held her hands to keep her upright. "can't have people talking about you just yet."

"they already talk about me," she retorted, her tongue sharp even if her mind wasn't, but she let him guide her out the door anyways, heading in the direction of the small brown house she was sharing with her own sister and the other two. "they always talked about me back home," she rambled, her inhibitions always lowered after too many drinks - he probably knew her whole story by now, she'd never know, could never remember what they spoke about when she got this far gone.

"i was the one who fucked up ann jacobson's life," she muttered, leaning her forehead against his arm, closing her eyes even as her feet shuffled forward, her boots heavy against her feet as she moved. "the one who fucked everyone up and left 'em all behind and then did it again." everyone talked shit in braedon, mocked her, called her the prodigal daughter of the town slut, tested her and her anger at every turn. she'd given them a run for their money - tried to find out who murdered colette's best friend, helped frame it on the man who was probably her real daddy though she'd never know for sure before disappearing again. "they're all so fucking stupid, did you know that? just like here. do you know the things i know?"

how many of them had killed, not just in defense but in anger, in defiance. how many of them had left behind a life they didn't want to acknowledge anymore, how yale kept their secrets from them because the council didn't need to know.

she held everyone's life in her hands and no one even bothered to respect her. no wonder she was so angry.

his hand was warm on her back and she realized with a start she'd been talking aloud the entire time, the filter between her thoughts and her mouth gone completely, and she stared up at him wide eyed - "i wasn't supposed to say any of that."

"let's just get you home," he replied instead, and that was when the tears started - a surprising torrent of them because he didn't get it, she'd never had a home, never would have one. she was a transient person and one day colette would want her gone and then what would she have? she wasn't supposed to be someone who stayed in someone's life long term, she was supposed to appear and disappear like a flash in a pan and one day, even vic would hate her too.

she'd stopped in the middle of the street, and while vic had seemed amused at first from her ramblings, she could see the twist of his lips, a frown on them as he considered what to do with her. leave me she thought, and that time she knew she didn't say it aloud because it was her worst fear - that somehow even he would find her despicable, would hate her and everything she'd done and allowed and walk off and never look back.

instead, he simply said "alright," surprising her with a quick grab at her knees, lifting her up with surprising ease and tossing her over his shoulder like she was a sack of potatoes - she didn't even have the energy to be surprised, or angry, simply deflated there as he carried her. not towards her own house, but his, his hands firm against her thighs as he held her in place to make sure she didn't fall. she could feel his back against her cheek, her body empty of any fight until he got back to his home, placing her gently down on the couch.

"stay," he demanded, and she didn't fight him when he brought her a glass of water and what had to be expired aspirin, holding it out for her. she took it anyways, draining the entire glass and handing it off for a refill, which he obliged her with immediately before settling down on the floor next to the couch.

"thank you," she said quietly, her fingers threading through his hair - shaggy, too long, she should offer to cut it when she was sober again, but her eyelids were already dropping shut and he merely hummed in response, easing into her touch in a moment of his own weakness.

she knew, even as she could hear his breathing even out into a sleep and her own found a pattern to match, that they'd never speak of this. that she'd get up in the morning and slip back into her own home and they'd get drunk again and he'd just cut her off before she got this far. but she could only hope he knew how much she appreciated him - his friendship, his presence, his quiet ability to take care of her in a way she'd missed for so long.

she was going to mess it up, one day. she only hoped it would be a long, long time from then.

#meme #meme : victor bakker #victor bakker #self para

[defiant-firefly]

Yo! Do you have any headcanons for team interactions and such in your p5r labby au? I'm really interested in the little things of how she meshes with the other characters

I do! Though everything is likely to change cause my mind is always a muddle till I actually ya know... Get there

Labrys strikes me as the type that will love literally anything that's not related to her past so I'm gonna take that and run a bit

Haru probably has the best relationship with her since she's around the longest in this AU aside from Yoshizawa. Labrys helps her out with her gardening and stuff and Haru has the patience of a saint with her and all her questions on how plants just grow. She likes showing her all these pretty flowers and stuff and they trade tips on axe wielding and stuff. Jdkdn they walk into Iwai's and Labrys is like 'so what kinda gun ya want?' and Haru points at the most explody thing she can see like 'that one.' and the second she first uses it she has the stupidest smile on her face and now Labrys wants one too.

Morgana is the one that wisely banned Labrys from using guns. She can't aim for shit and she nearly shot his tail off once so he makes the call that she's not allowed to shoot unless everyone is at a large, safe distance. He's encouraging towards her when it comes to making infiltration tools and he likes to bounce between staying with the different members of the team rather than just one. He absolutely abuses the fact Labrys doesn't have much of an understanding on what animals need to eat and will have sushi or curry or anything he can convince her is necessary to his health. Sojiro is like 'just give him cat food?' and then turns around and gives him curry and Morgana is loving it. Labrys is always fussing over him in his cat form though and while he pretends he hates it, he adores all the attention she loves giving him.

Makoto is a fun one. As student council president, Labrys looks up to her a great deal especially at first. Makoto's arc is a bit different in this AU but she becomes Labrys' go to when it comes to questions about how the world works. The team like dragging her into their shenanigans and whenever Makoto doesn't know the song they're singing in the Monabus there's a bunch of scandalised gasps and later Labrys spams her texts with all the songs she didn't know and all the new ones they're getting into. It takes ages before Labrys starts calling her by her name instead of 'Miss President' and it kinda irritates her but she kinda gets it.

Futaba introduces Labrys to Featherman and they maybe get a showtime where they imitate Team Rocket or something with Morgana. Once they get to know eachother, they bully eachother just a little bit in good fun and Sojiro just watches when these two get started with their little bickering matches like 'ah shit here we go again'. No one ever wins it usually ends with them both laughing about whatever dumb thing the other said last. Futaba likes to joke that she fears nothing since Labrys has the ability to talk to people and she doesn't and you can't tell me Futaba isn't a bad influence. At some point she's sat there trying to get Labrys to say 'fuck' and the next they've invented a coffee called 'Cyanide' so if anyone asks what they recommend they can say 'For you? Cyanide.' Basically: these two are chaos incarnate. Do not start a prank war. Futaba the master strategist will lead them to victory.

This is turning into a long post huh? But uhh Ryuji starts singing in the Monabus and suddenly these two are best friends. She helps him with training where she can and they hang out at the arcade sometimes building a hoard of tickets to get the biggest prizes possible. Labrys kinda gravitates towards him when she's feeling a little low and his persona's natural electric abilities are to blame. They leak out into the real world a bit and charge his phone a little and stuff so when Labrys is near she gets a little boost too. Ryuji uses it as an excuse to hug her. Futaba ships it but doesn't complain when they both hug her and her wireless headphones charge back up. He's kinda protective of the team, but especially with Ann and Labrys. He will not let her live down how she forgets she could yeet a train across the whole of Shibuya whenever she asks how he forgets his homework or something. He also probably loves the short jokes.

Ann uhh... Is Ann I guess? She's one of the ones my brain struggles to visualise doing stuff honestly. Maybe they go shopping together and just try on all the silly hats and stuff they can find. I have a few ideas for things they can do but they're spoiler heavy so I'll skip over those. She also forgets about Labrys' super strength and is amazed by it every single time she effortlessly lifts something. Maybe the one to explain sexualities to Labrys? I dunno I've not messed around much with her arc yet.

Yusuke is... Uhh well he's very spoiler heavy. They're both people watchers and just like vibing in eachothers company. They're very protective of eachother but don't necessarily talk much. He does become her curry taste tester though. She's determined to make sure he doesn't go hungry just like the rest of the team is. I dunno, they're vibers. Could both probably turn into theatre kids at the drop of a hat though

Yoshizawa is a fun one. Labrys isn't exactly human and Maruki didn't account for that and her already decent knowledge of illusionary abilities so Labrys is constantly getting her name wrong until they come up with a nice nickname to use instead. It kinda freaks Yoshizawa out but she sees Labrys calling Makoto 'Miss President' for ages and assumes she just sometimes has problems with names or something but being called her dead sister's name is weird as hell. They're relationship is a bit strained at first thanks to all that but it gets better. They're constantly supporting eachother and building eachother up. They do it with the rest of the team but when they do it with eachother they can be going back and forth for a while. Everyone outside their group assumes they're together. Whether they are or not is anyone's guess at this point though. Yoshizawa can and will eat as many Big Bang Burger kids meals as it takes to get Labrys all the spaceship toys and Labrys will practice for hours the gymnastics stuff she's been taught so she can get it right the next time they hang out. They will kill you with nice words and sunny smiles and feel no remorse and Akechi wonders how the fuck he's survived in their presence for more than five minutes. They're innocent oblivious beans and they get along so well singing showtunes with Ann and Ryuji in the Monabus.

I plan to give Akechi an overhaul I've not yet worked much on yet so I'll skip on him for now. And Akira has his own arc and stuff now that I don't really wanna spoil too much but he is sucked into what the school are now calling 'The Gardening Cult' with all the others.

I spent maybe too long on this but I don't care it was fun thanks for asking buuuud ^-^

#persona 5 royal #persona 4 arena #labrys #p5r labrys au #I'd tag everyone but I'm lazy and the cat is demanding food #i love this au #its so fun #if i could manage to focus on Ann in my head for a bit though that'd be great #a lot changes in this au ndkosjd #no one is safe from the au ray of doom #oh ub #long post #does akechi even count as a thief? #uh im gonna say no. #at least for now anyway #things will get clearer when i get there my head is a muddle honestly #it'll be fun when i do get there cause who knows whats gonna happen outside the main plot i got planned?? #not me not you not anyone we have fun here #hope I've not given too much away here hmmm

[dreamcatcherfication]

Ask Me Who I Am, Pretend You Know My Face

Let 👏 Anne 👏 Have 👏 Feelings 👏 And 👏 Character 👏 Depth 👏

AKA Anne has an existential crisis. Anon requested “this isn’t you sounds very much like something happens to Anne and she just shuts down...? Maybe Beheaded Cousins?” And I’m happy to oblige. I’m not a big fan of the ending, but I didn’t know how else to tie it together. Not sure what went through my mind when I wrote this, but have it anyway. Sorry for any spelling/grammatical errors, I’m now a war veteran.

Writing Masterpost

If you want to send a request or a prompt, my inbox is always open! I publish a story at 8:00 AM PST everyday, so I’m always in need of new ideas. If you want to be tagged in my works, just let me know and I’ll be sure to tag you!

Prompts | More Prompts | The Trifecta of Prompts | Original Prompts

Trigger Warnings: Existential crisis, anxiety, cursing

Anne Boleyn was many people. She was the temptress history remembered her as. She was the carefree gremlin that the queens’ show presented her as. She was a woman wrongly beheaded by her vengeful husband. She was the mother of one of England’s greatest monarchs and more. 

Of all things Anne was great at, it was acting. She had been doing it long before her second life, and now it was her profession. There wasn’t a time she wasn’t playing a role and charming someone. And it took a toll on Anne, to the point where she never stopped acting. Even when she went to bed, Anne gave her mirror a charismatic smile and winked, making sure her mask was on. Playing a role was easier than playing herself. 

It was easy to distract historians who came to interview her. Anne was the most well known queen, so she often had solo interviews to deal with from pushy historians. At first it had been a lot to deal with, but Anne had grown used to their invasive questions. They were almost always the same, so she had her prepared answers. They never wanted to know about her opinions or choices, they wanted to know about all the drama and ‘seduction’ she took part in. 

It was Anne’s offday and she had a plethora of interviews scheduled. It wasn’t her chosen way of spending the day, but she needed to get them done anyway. She wasn’t one to turn interviewers away without even meeting them, so she decided to make a day out of it. The first interview wasn’t too bad, actually starting out on a relatively high note. The interviewer was a big fan of the show, and she wanted to know about the dynamics of the queens and what it was like being reincarnated. She made sure Anne knew she didn’t have to answer a question if she was uncomfortable, and Anne was grateful for that. 

The second interview was fine. The historian wasn’t too pushy and seemed generally respectful, but he kept asking questions that dragged up bad memories for Anne. By the time the interview was over, she could feel herself settling into a frustrated mindset. This third interview would not go well, and Anne knew that the second she walked into the small office.

This historian was an old white man with greying hair and ancient glasses. She could already tell he was one of those snobs who would argue that his opinion was fact. But rather than judge him right off the bat, Anne put on her excited persona and gave him the benefit of the doubt. “Hello!” she spoke happily, giving him a dazzling grin.

“Ah yes, Anne Boleyn,” he spoke in a rickety old voice. He pulled down his glasses and gave a smile that seemed to physically pain him. “I’m Director Hoffman, pleasure to meet you.”

“The pleasure’s mine,” Anne replied, shaking his hand. This was the third time she’d gone through the motions today, but she acted as if it was her first.

Director Hoffman leaned back into his seat and sighed. Anne sat in the seat across from his desk and put her hands in her lap. He had a pen and paper in front of him, as if he could record the entire interview by hand. Anne already had a bad feeling growing in the pit of her stomach, but she attempted to stifle it. “Let’s get started, shall we.” Anne nodded silently, waiting for his questions. “What made you go after King Henry VIII?”

Cringing, Anne realized he was jumping right into the thick of it. “Really it was my father. He pushed me to get involved with Henry for power. It wasn’t so much my choice.”

“But,” Hoffman pushed, “that’s not what historical records say. In fact, most everyone agrees that you were highly calculated in your bid to steal the King from his wife.”

Anne clenched her teeth and attempted to stay civil. “Well history tends to be misleading about a lot of things. As someone who lived the experience, I can tell you for a fact that those records were not written with me in mind. They paint Henry as a saint while putting me and his other wives down, painting us as horrible when that wasn’t the reality of it.”

Hoffman didn’t write any of that on his page. “I find that hard to believe,” he stared at Anne. “How is it that this airheaded girl you appear to be broke England from the Church?”

“This might be hard to believe,” Anne’s voice dripped with malice, “but men tend to over exaggerate when they let their dick decide.”

The director’s eyes widened and he grew aghast. “What an improper thing for a lady to say!”

“Freedom of speech,” Anne shrugged. “Another thing we didn’t have back then. All your documents you rely so heavily on, they only say what Henry wanted to hear. It’s all biased.”

Director Hoffman absolutely refused to listen to what Anne was saying. “You, Anne Boleyn,” he practically hissed, “are a disgrace to the historical figure this country remembers. You are a disgrace to Elizabeth and all English monarchs. You should be ashamed of who you are.”

Biting her cheek to keep from screaming, Anne slammed her hands on Hoffman’s desk. The old man leaned away from her, fear creeping in behind his eyes. Restraining herself, Anne stepped back and marched out of the room, not so much as glancing back.

On her way back to the queens’ house, Anne hadn’t lost any of her anger. She couldn’t take it anymore. Everyone telling her who to be when she was already trying to cater to them. She tried and tried and tried and they were never happy with what she gave them. Maybe she was broken.

Storming into the house, Anne didn’t acknowledge any of the other queens. “Anne? Where are you going?” Jane called from the dinner table where all the others queens were conversing with each other.

“Leave me alone,” she said, continuing through the room to get to the stairs.

“Hey, don’t leave Anne,” Aragon told her, standing up. “You should at least come eat.”

Freezing but not turning around, Anne growled, “I don’t want your food, okay?”

Cathy frowned and put her fork down. “Anne, is there something wrong? You can tell us -”

“Nothing’s wrong!” Anne yelled, still staring at the wall. “Or maybe everything’s wrong, I don’t know. But nothing’s changed, so you don’t need to worry. Go back to your food.” And then she left the queens, and shut herself up in her room. 

The other five queens all shared confused glances around the table. “I’ll handle this one,” Kat said, standing up.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Anna asked, her eyes flicking to the stairs where Anne had just been. “She doesn’t seem to be in the most forgiving mood.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Kat made her way to the stairs. “She’s my cousin and I’m going to try and help her.” And then she was gone as well, disappearing up the stairs to (hopefully) make Anne feel better.

Muttering, “Godspeed,” Cathy gave the air a small salute.

As Kat traveled up the stairs to Anne’s room, she couldn’t help but hold her breath. Literally anything could be going on with Anne and she had absolutely no grounding with how to deal with it. Still, this was her cousin and she would try her best. “Anne?” Kat knocked on her door. “Can I come in.”

“I can’t stop you,” came Anne’s defeated voice from inside. 

Gently opening the door, Kat made her way to Anne’s bed. The girl in question was lying face down on the bed, her limbs spread out at awkward angles. “Hey Anne… how are you doing.”

Anne scoffed into the bedsheets. “What do you think Kat?”

“I think you’re pretending to be angry to hide that you’re hurting.”

Kat noted the way Anne reacted to her words. She sat up from her position and faced Kat with a defensive glare. “I’m not hiding anything. I’m fine. Good and dandy! Happy fucking Christmas,” Anne snarled, her upper lip starting to curl.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Kat quietly asked, moving closer to her cousin.

Anne pulled away, creating distance between her and Kat. “I don’t need to talk about anything. Why can’t you let that go? Crawl back to Jane and leave me alone.”

A pang of hurt went through Kat, but she brushed it off. Anne didn’t mean it, even if her words still stung. Biting her tongue and glancing down at the floor, Kat summoned up her courage. “This isn’t you Anne.”

Chuckling ruefully, Anne fiddled with her bedsheets. “Was this ever me?” That definitely wasn’t the response Kat was expecting, but she kept quiet as Anne started to unravel. “I’ve never been me, have I?” Her voice started to quiver, a sign that she was holding back tears, or something much worse. “I’m the temptress or I’m the falsely accused. I’m the ditzy stage girl or I’m the chaotic wingman. I’m the slut or I’m the King’s prize. But I’m not me.”

Of all people Kat would think to have an existential crisis, it was not Anne. Her cousin always seemed so confident and sure of herself, but here she seemed so confused and broken down. “Anne, you aren’t defined by just one thing.”

“Then what am I defined by?” Anne shot back, her eyes red. “The documents of history? They’re bullshit,” she spit. “Am I defined by my show persona? It’s seventy-five minutes, that can’t be it, Kat!”

The genuine fear on Anne’s face as she tried to figure out how to define herself frightened Kat. “I know the real you.”

“Do you?” Anne asked, the pleading in her voice real. “Please, tell me who I am, because I can’t take this any longer. I’ve tried so hard to do what they want,” Anne’s voice broke. “And they’re never satisfied.”

Grabbing Anne’s hand and pulling her closer, Kat made sure they were face to face. "You are my cousin. You're loyal and caring and you would kill anyone who looks badly at your friends. You're the life of the party, always encouraging people to be their best self. You are educated and smart, even though you tend to hide it. You're human and you have emotions just like anyone else. You are Anne Boleyn."

Choking back tears, Anne threw herself into Kat’s arms. “What if I can’t be that? What if I’m not who you want me to be?”

“Oh Annie, I don’t want you to be anyone but yourself. No matter who you are, I’ll still love you.” For a moment, Kat thought Jane must’ve been rubbing off on her because of the sudden role reversal. But Kat didn’t mind being the one to comfort her cousin, especially when she needed it so badly. 

Anne flopped back on her bed, taking a giggling Kat with her. “Can you stay with me tonight?” Anne asked, her voice small.

Rolling to the side so she could face her cousin, Kat immediately agreed. “I’d love to stay with you Annie. But we should probably change into pajamas. And you need to eat something for dinner.”

Kat started to get up, but Anne pulled her back down, hugging her tightly. “No, Cousin Cuddles first.”

“Cousin Cuddles are the best cuddles,” Kat mumbled contentedly.

Before they knew it, both cousins had fallen asleep together, safe and sound.

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Tag list:

@radcowboyalmondtree@boleynhowards@annabanana2401@babeebobo@dont-lose-your-queerhead@everything-insanity

#six the musical fanfiction #six the musical fanfic #six the musical fic #six fanfiction #six fanfic #sixfic #beheaded cousins #anne boleyn centric #existential crisis #the other queens are there too #very briefly #old white historians being assholes #i wrote this fic in four hours and it shows

[aggresivelyfriendly]

Day Twelve

Hi darlings, I hope you are all well! Stay safe and LOUD! If you need a little break, here is something to read! Love to you all, and my boo @dirtystyles for being my friend and beta!

Reblogs are love!

Day 12: The One With The Request

"Babe?" Harry called from the door.

Elise barely heard him from the inside of the shower cubicle. Her shower cubicle.

"Sorry, love!" He cooed when he opened the door and she jumped. His voice did little to calm her racing heart. "I didn't mean to scare you."

She turned her head to look at him, keeping her naughty bits pointed at the shower head instead of in his line of sight. "It's alright. Now I don't have to workout today thanks to this adrenaline rush."

"You were gonna work out with me today?" He was pouting.

"Well, no." She laughed despite feeling slightly uncomfortable, him fully clothed and her naked as the day in the shower. "But it sounds better than I knew I was gonna be lazy, doncha think?"

He smiled for her. "I thought I'd missed an opportunity. Any way I can convince you?" He settled his thumb into the waist band of his sweatpants and his large hand covered most of his bulge. Harry was a morning person. He liked getting up early, well early for quarantine. And he -liked- mornings, the last two days had taught her.  While she'd always thought of sex as a night time activity, at least for normal people not sneaking around, she was learning the different flavors to pleasure, the soft glow of morning, playful delights of afternoons, and intense connection of late nights. Of all these, Harry seemed most interested in slow rolling morning fucks.

She'd snuck away this dawn to shower by herself before he roused. He had effectively wiped her nerves, well any and all negative things, from her mind last night after their Friends marathon. All of the thoughts that had invaded after his comments about finishing all ten seasons in three days got to her. Elise was glad he really only turned to look at her face when he asked if she was hungry, before making them sandwiches, on the remaining bread, and smoothies. Afterwards, she'd laid on his chest and he wasn't able to see that her mind was not on the televised shenanigans, but that they had an expiration date. Once the show was over, they were too.

They had always had an expiration date she supposed, from that sneeze, but things had changed for her. Elise had been developing more than a crush on him since the minute they crossed his threshold. She knew it was more when he'd joked about shaving his head, the curls, just to see the online response and her brain had commented, hot. Harry without his curls still totally appealed to her. She was sunk. And then, they'd cuddled, and flirted. And that was before they got to the kissing and the cavorting.

Did cavorting cover what they had been doing? He'd had her on multiple flat surfaces by this point, and the stairs had been too long to make it up them the night before. Her neck was not thanking her. And his bed. The hours they'd whiled away in bed. All the eye contact and sweet nothings meant something to her.

She'd woken up hazy and high. The love he'd made, and she had no other way to describe it, to her last night was different than the slow and precise focus on her pleasure the day before, the bread making shenanigans and the couch fumble and stair fuck.

He'd been patient like the morning one, and silly like in the kitchen, and insatiable like on the sofa, but he'd been all of them simultaneously and worshipful too.

Elise was smiling when she woke up. Their heads were on the same pillow, his bigger body wrapped around her and creating a buffer from everything outside. All the nothing outside. Even emptier after this. He had shut off her worries last night, but doubled her fear of loss doing it.

Elise now had something to lose.

Once she'd truly woken up, she needed some distance. Either she was gonna have to detach and take this for what it was, a 14 day  fever dream, with the last three being particularly fanfic worthy. Or she was going to have to have a conversation with Harry about what came next.

Elise was not sure which was more terrifying. She supposed she had opportunity for the talk now, though she was not sure she could feel more vulnerable.

"Right." Harry suddenly said and shucked his shorts off like a husk of corn.

"What are you doing?" She noted his dick was flaccid. Which made her feel sad and relieved. A brain scrambling or the intimacy his hard cock led to was more than she could cope with while she found her words.

"Well I was going to get in the shower with you. If that's ok?" God, why did he always ask!? It put the ball in her court, and she was horrible at sports, and it made him more wonderful every time.

"Um, I'm kind of sore." She was. If she was honest.

He palmed himself, he'd chubbed up a little by now. "Honestly, I'm assuming from the color of your skin, I'm gonna have some shrinkage from the scalding—"

"You could use it." She grinned.

"You want my dick to be smaller?" God, his damn face.

She shrugged. "Might help with the soreness."

"But not the orgasms." He pointed like a gun.

"I'm confident you would find a way to use it well."

"Ah! I'll take the implied compliment!" He squared his shoulders and bloomed, his dimples filling up with negative space and his jaw getting more geometric. "Now, can I come in?"

"Yeah, why are you standing in the cold, dork?" She couldn't resist him. Did she really want to? Out of fear?

"Dork! Alright, onto the name calling portion of the morning!" He curled up to her back. "Don't hold back, tell me how you feel."

She laughed and stood with the showers spray on her front and Harry's solid warmth on her back.

"Really," he said a moment later, in the vicinity of her neck. "Tell me how you feel."

"What?"

"You get shy in the morning." He kissed her ear. "Talk to me. It's important."

"I'm nervous." She would have jostled her shoulders up and down, but his weight was on them.

"I can tell. Am I that intimidating?"

"No, not anymore." She revolved in his arms and wrapped hers around his middle. The bread pudge offering a handle.

"Don't be nervous. Just relax and tell me what you're thinking." He tilted her chin up to look at him. "When you can."

She came up on her tippy toes and kissed him then. It led to a lovely make up session that proved how water did not cause permanent shrinkage. She raised her eyebrows at the presence between them. Elise was way more open by now, but Harry just said, "it'll go down." And kept kissing her until the water went cold, a pruny feat with such a large water heater. She hadn't talked though. She was working up to it.

"C'mon. Let's go downstairs. I want to cook you breakfast."

"You want to cook ME breakfast?" He said and google eyed at her. "Should I be scared?"

"Terrified!" She laughed and set about making French toast with the shop bought bread they had abandoned for his homemade loaf.

She still was scared, but he made her forget. He always made her forget her fears. She was gonna have to find some time alone to come up with what she was gonna say, how she felt exactly, so she could tell him. That was way scarier than anything else, but she was gonna pull up her big girl panties, cover them in the security of real clothes and then talk. No matter how scary, she had to do some emotional lifting here too. And despite her misgivings, she knew she was safe.

Even if she didn't get the answer she wanted, that this was her new address, and Harry was crazy about her, and they were getting married as soon as she could meet Anne.

Ok, well, that was a little crazy and not what she wanted either.

The relationship, or dating, and maybe meeting Anne someday in the nearish future did sound pretty amazing though. Getting to be with Harry sounded like a life she didn't know she wanted. Couldn't dream up.

But, if he said, "I like you, but we should take this as what it was, the beginning of a beautiful friendship with some delightful fringe benefits," and then eyed her up and loved her goodbye, she would be ok. And she would have been honest with somebody and they hadn't turned her away or ignored her. In fact, this time would be healing. She'd shown all her Dorian Gray style invisible scars and been accepted. Elise would have gained something, a chance at the future. Acceptance, the opportunity to forgive herself.

Just not everything she wanted. But who got everything they wanted? And once you got it, was it a dream or a curse?

Maybe she got to have it right now because this was ephemeral. A half life of some sort where time and decisions didn't stick.

In any case, whatever he said, the point was naming what she wanted and then being open and honest about it despite the outcome. She needed to do that.

Her decision was made once she had clothes on, and through the French toast she whipped the hell out of to get the fluffy edges she liked. Through his smile and extra extra moans of enthusiasm. Their couch make out session and his tongue between her legs, "it'll help the soreness."

It didn't, not necessarily, but it didn't hurt, and it distracted her from the high wire act she was performing. Her need to tell him, and supreme reluctance to at the same time.

All she could compare it to was being in Costa Rica three years ago and standing on the edge of the waterfall. She was the last one to jump. Well, her mother had  entirely sat that day out. Derided them for even wanting to go. Her sister had made a show, but she'd been a swimmer and liked everybody looking at her on the ledge of the rock in her bikini. Her dad faced down guns, this wasn't scary to him. They'd both gone before her.

It was scary to her. It was exhilarating too. What was beneath the water? Would she come out clean? A different person? Braver?

She'd desperately wanted to blithely hop off with a pirouette, a flounce or show on her way to absolution. She hadn't. Of course, but she done it, held her nose and closed her eyes as she jumped. But she got to feel the rush of the air around her and the chill of the water's embrace. Clean.

Her heart pounded in that familiar rhythm while she lay on Harry's couch with him and through the take out.

"Harry?" She asked. Elise had found all of her courage bundled up, thrown it in a kerchief over her shoulder to prepare for this talk. It was time.

He didn't respond. And she wasn't sure she could do the talking looking at him. She stretched up from her chest pillows and planted her face above his birds. "Harry?" She was closer to his neck now. Hopefully he would hear her.

Then she heard him let out a piggie snort.

Oh, he was napping. She should have known, he hadn't moved his hands down over her ass or made a comment about anything, or suggested they do something like make a huge obstacle course or try the Murph challenge in at least 5 minutes. A still Harry was a sleeping Harry.

Well, she supposed that meant the talk was out. Elise retreated to her room to read.

To worry and freak out, and lose her nerve. Who knew she was so good at multitasking? She chuckled at herself as she read her 6th chapter.

"Hey babe." She looked up from where she was sat in the window to see his post nap face, lined from the unsatisfactory pillows on the couch and swollen. His eyes ringed with fluid like an alien baby. "Where'd you go?"

He walked all the way in and sat on the bed, her bed.

"You predictably fell asleep, so I came to read so I wouldn't disturb you." She closed her book, but kept her body away from him.

"You don't disturb me." He casually threw out. He stretched, she watched, of course, and caught sight of the lush planes of his hips. "Why're you in here?" He said after a little shiver.

"Um, well, ya see, my things are in here and it's my room." Elise tried for blithe and bonny.

"Hmmm, we should move your stuff into the master. It's more comfortable—"

"Than the couch?"

"Well, obviously." He rolled his eyes and reached for her hand. She was mirroring his postion without deciding to turn to him. "It would be easier if you just had your things in with me. You'll be sleeping in there anyways."

"Will I?"

He made a weird face at her. "Not if you don't want to, but I really wish you would." He turned her hand over and traced her palm. "We don't have to have sex, if you don't want to. But, I'd like you close." Then he looked back up at her with the full power of his green tractor beam eyes and slow blinked in his hypnotic way.

Wait, why wouldn't she want to have sex. "Why wouldn't I want you?" She let slip.

He grinned shyly. "If you want me, all you have to do is ask."

"And if I'm not brave enough?" She was not brave enough for the rest of this conversation today.

"I think you are brave enough, you just have to let yourself be, but if you aren't," he stood up and pulled her gently to him, "then just kiss me, like this—"

His illustration was thorough, and varied and moved down her neck and under her top.

They hadn't done it on this bed before.

"I've never had sex in here." He commented when he was pulling down her shorts and withdrawing a condom from his pocket as he pushed his down.

"That's convenient." She pointed at the skin in his fingers. She was gonna ignore the other comment.

"Seems like it was good planning on my part." He shrugged.

"You planned this?" She was being brave, and climbing up to straddle him. He was heavy and full in her hand.

"Hoped." He put his hand to her mouth and she wet his fingers like he liked. He spread the saliva over the head of his cock and then dipsticked her, petting her clit until she writhed. "You ready?"

"I don't know, you tell me." She placed him at her entrance, and slid down until the pressure prevented her. She wasn't sure she'd ever be totally ready for him right off the bat. His hands caught her hips and helped her inch off and in until she was resting on his laurels. Her head fell back.

"Yeah, you're ready." He smiled. His hands stayed on her hips, occasionally plucking at her nipples or caressing her back and ass while she set the pace. Rocking up and down on him like a boat making its way to the harbor. The waves got rougher and Elise leaned forward to go with them. His hands offering more help as she surfed her way to shore.  She leaned back when her destination was within reach and his thumb found a rhythm over her wet crux that helped her go the last bit of the distance.

"Harry!" She cried and lost her rhythm, was pulled under the waves and brought to the horizon. He rolled them over and lifted her leg up over his shoulder to maneuver her to his own end. His weather was rougher and had she not already come it might have been too much. As it was, she gripped his shoulder and went with him, shaking and pulsing while he stilled and filled her.

"Oh Elise." He said into her hair. He pulled back and gave her a hazy look. The soft smile that played on his lips was one she'd never seen before. He looked like a warm bun. He kissed her mouth once more and buried his face in her neck. Elise knew his propensity for falling asleep, had seen it in action. She did not want to become glued to him, well, not really. She'd thought about entwining their fingers like when she twisted up paper clips as a child, so they'd never come apart, but that had been a fantasy. You didn't want to be that close to anyone all the time she reckoned. Even if you loved them.

Loved?

Holy shit! HOLY SHIT!  Did she just think she loved Harry. Did she love Harry? Could you love someone so quickly? Her hand was in his hair still. It had stopped moving and she was afraid she might have jerked at it. Woken him. He seemed content though, heavy and sleepy. She ran her fingers through his downy curls, for the pleasure of it, like pressing on a bruise, she redoubled her masHer lips drifted down to kiss the top of his head. Elise was about to wiggle away from him to freak out. She needed to freak out. Fuck! Three days?!? She had three days to get over it. And now the conversation she had been psyching herself up for was much scarier.

Harry's breathing wasn't even and deep, and she was starting to worry about the condom full of spunk inside her. Just as she was about to make her move he startled her. "Arghhhh!" Was what came up when he lifted his head and his body away, wilting away from her.

"Jesus! You scared me!" He gave a nervous chuckle.

"I scared you! You woke from the dead on top of me and I scared you?" She joined in his laughter.

"The dead? I wasn't even asleep! I was listening to your heart rate." He bussed her lips and pulled off the condom, tied it. "It got all crazy. And they aren't serious when they call it a little death. It's more like a little life right? I mean it's the engine of life and such, is sex."

He was on a ramble. "I'm too fucked out for you to be this philosophical." Elise sighed.

"Well, you know what I mean?" He looked at her.

"Nobody ever knows what you mean!" She laughed, but she actualll did get him here. Why a little death when it was the act that made life? Made you feel most alive.

"Anyways," he rolled his eyes. "Your heart got all crazy, so I figured we needed to get moving, or you needed to poo or something."

Her face conveyed her disgust. "Harry!"

He laughed at her response. "Go to the bathroom, then I have a very serious choice for you! Scrabble, or the hot tub."

"I'm not playing Scrabble with you! I know you're a ringer."

"Naked hot tub it is!" He celebrated.

Elise thought of her nethers and reconsidered. "Tell me more about Scrabble."

She shouldn't have even bothered giving herself a choice.  Elise wound up in the same place. She wasn't sure she would be able to walk tomorrow; she winced when he pulled out, but stayed atop her caging her body in.

"Let the record show, I won!" Harry smiled down at her, a bead of sweat rolling down his nose.

"I won at Scrabble." She was offended!

"Yeah, maybe." He put his nose into her neck and took a big inhale. "But I won at life."

She felt like a winner too.

#harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #quarantine fic #the one with the request #day 12 of quarantine #day 12