#and i should but thats hard and i dont want to try right now | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

alchemiclee · 16 days

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as a fellow introvert; we are social creatures. introverts who purposefully see no one for months on end are usually just in a cycle where its been so long since they’ve hung out that it’s too intimidating for them to do anymore. i 100% feel tired after hanging out with my friends but i DO also feel happy and refreshed! tl;dr - you’re super normal lol. try to reach out to a couple people just to chat this week <3

thanks for reaching out I really appreciate it❤️ but I have to rant a bit. I allow you to ignore it!

I wish to not be a social creature because going too long without having a friend to talk to or not having someone to talk with almost daily feels bad and it's so hard to have a friend when I need one D:

i've been reaching out to people for the last few weeks or so but they don't reach back. try playing games with people but they play with their other friends or dont feel like playing. invite people to hang out but they say maybe and never give an answer or don't respond.

I don't want to bother my closest friends in our group chat too much in our group chat but the chat is mostly me sending messages with no response and even couple times saying I need a friend when I was having bad days but they didn't want to chat and I dont want to force anyone to entertain my lonely depressed ass. (especially when all I really needed was to talk about the new star rail stuff to distract me but I don't think they've finished it yet so I don't want to spoil) they live together so they always have to socialize and probably make each other tired without needing to add me to it.

so i've also been trying to reach out to new people, like joining twitch chats again for the first time in years. but that never goes well and doesn't satisfy my social needs. too many people talking at once and being the new person no one cares about and all....getting to know a new is very exhausting. but it's so hard to just be able to skip all that getting to know each other stuff jump straight into talking about a thing we both like (in this case it's star rail and cosplay and maybe art) I don't have enough already-known people to reach out to and i'm too tired to do the small talk dance until it's appropriate to jump into special interest territory. being autistic is so exhausting. I with to be one of those rare autistics I sometimes hear about that have 0 interest in social interaction at all

so as you can see, i'm trying. so hard. to the point I'm exhausting myself. it's been too much work for no payoff and makes things feel worse when the outcome isn't what I need and its constant reaching with no one grabbing my hand back. so I keep making annoying tumblr posts about it. i'm so sorry to anyone that reads my nonsense 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 this is a normal thing with me but it's usually kept to my other blog that's reserved for more serious posts like this but I tried posting here as a way to "reach out" and see if it invites any friendly friends or something but I don't think i'm doing it right...

(but I am going to a con tomorrow with someone I haven't talked to in like 2 years. but we don't have anything in common anymore so theres not much to talk about. he's the only person who responded to me after trying to reach out for like a month but I fear it will only exhaust me being around too many people and not help this gross need to have a deeper connecting socialization D:)

#i dont know how to ask for attention without asking for attention because attention seeking is bad and annoying #the more needy and annoying you come off the more people will ignore you. saying i need someone to talk to or hang out with gets me ignored #but being vague gets me also ignored???? like just trying to start a convo by throwing things out randomly doesnt work either #so if i cant be direct or indirect or invite people or ask to be invited or anything else ive tried ehst do i do?#how do i satisfy this stupid social need im cursed with? it takes me a month or 3 to recover from socializing so its not like i always ask #but its still too much. and “you need to find the right people” isnt helpful. because how!!! ive been looking for that for 30 years lmao #i just need someone to invite me and always invite me every time and always reach out first every time (well not every time. just dont make #me be the one every time because thats how it usually seems to go)#but no one wants to do the work and tell me when its ok to bother them. if i bother someone too many times in a row and get no response #then i will stop and wait. and wait. and wait. and give up eventually. or after certain amount of rejections i give up.#so that i dont come off as needy and attention seeking and obnoxious. if people want me they can come to me. and when no one does #that just feels bad. i hate that it feels bad. i wish to make that stop. i wish to turn off feelings.#i cannot figure out the line between bothering someone too much or just enough. how much am i required to push people #and how much is too much where i snap the line while trying to reel them in? because ive snapped more times than ive caught #or the bait just gets completely ignored and i get bored of waiting #oops im slipping into metaphor territory now. that means its time to stop saying words.#hopefully no one reads my annoying tags. i just needed a free space to ramble and vent amd tags are lile little whispers to do that in #but also it is autism acceptance month. people should be adopting a local autistic(me) person to show them what having friends is like #lee rants #im being super particular about how i need to socialize right now as well. dont want trauma bonding/life talks/depression sharing type stuff #only want special interest light hearted goofy fun talks. but those are so hard to do. its easy for people to default into doom conversation #but its hard to keep them on my topic of interest and to stay positive 😭

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arolesbianism · 2 months

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Starting a new oni save that's not a rime colony for the first time in forever and I am in agony how do y'all live like this (shaking and crying as it is forced to enter a mildly warm area for drekos)

#rat rambles #oni posting #also makes guiser taming more annoying but its ok I can manage #my main goal for this playthrough is to make more use of automation and spoms #my last one isnt necessarily being completely abandoned I just wanted to try getting off of rime for a bit #I miss the hypothermia pop ups every five seconds but on the bright side I dont have to worry abt my water supply freezing #Im also trying some other new things and just trying to be more ambitious in general #I managed to force myself to upgrade my bathrooms within the first 50 cycles are you proud of me #I also am making better use of hydro whatever farm plots for my obligatory bristleberry farm #thoroughly enjoying the lessened dupe labor even if it puts a bit more pressure on my initial water supply #I do have a steam vent and a salt water guiser nearby tho so Im not particularly worried #mainly Im just figuring out how I wanna go abt cooling it #my salt water guiser is right by a tundra biome with a cooling machine right inside it so I could attempt to use that #but from my multiple attempts to utilize that thing it's a bit hard to use for liquid cooling #I also think I might build my spom in that same biome so idk #I do have a second tundra biome thats also right next to the saltwater biome but Im trying to preserve it best I can to wildfarm sleet weat #I have also made the laziest drowning chamber I could manage and its called building my hatch ranch over my water tank #plus a critter sensory autosweeper and conveyor loader #it does overkill a lil every time it activates but its ok Im lazy enough to live with it #I also have some pacu and a crab in there so its a whole party in there #this is also going to be my first time having sanishells once I get an egg #not going to properly ranch them tho I kind of just took one to use as a trash can for my early polluted dirt #also Im glad I was able to get onto bristle berries as a primary food source quickly this time around #Im not going to go crazy expanding it for now since I have a couple other crops Im planning on getting going soon as well #mainly lettus and sleet wheat once I find some pips #then I can have early frost burgers if I want. I wont since I havent found any natural gas vents yet but y'know #speaking of oh 4 natural gass vents all near eachother on my last save how I miss you you made power so easy #on the bright side Ill have an oil biome that isn't filled with solid oil this time lol #I should rly make some actual use of oil this time around #hey who knows maybe Ill get far enough to make a sour gas boiler (lying)

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lesbianpikachu · 5 months

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#WE ARE SO BACK DUDE #MAN #this is like the first good night i've had in a while #goddamn it i fucking hate being an adult and it's something that's frustrated me in a way i don't know how to express for so fucking long #being able to admit that to myself and just say it out loud feels so fucking good. I do not want to do adult shit. i do not want to pretend #to be normal fuck everything and everybody i fucking hate being an adult i hate careers and social niceties fuck everything #god i fucking hate everything and im so happy to be able to say that again. life fucking sucks and thats it #oh my god ive been stuck in a positivity puddle for so long i hate it. complaining and hating is my lifee i will never stop #just oh my god it's so hard to be alive all the time and nobody ever talks about it and just expects you to do everything right all the tim #We are not going to fucking make it dude. what else is there. can we do something else #i feel so expected to just do things right all the time and i feel like people can see that and just make fun of me for existing all the ti #i fucking hate it! literally all of that shit makes me want to die. but like yeah like oh my god putting all of that down might fix me #we'll see. oh god the pokemon video looms large. im on gen 4 but i've been hardcore procrastinating on it. i'm just so done with all the sh #MAN i feel like a real person again i feel like i can breathe. i have been so frustrated w my friends and family for the longest time #and now i just feel like oh. yeah. literally none of this bullshit is necessary. why am i letting all these people tell me how to live #Who cares if im alone who cares if someones watching who cares if people like me i am alone i am happy i am doing what i want #like if i meet my goals and i feel like im doing what i think i should be doing then who cares. i'm having the experiences i want to have #and that's enough. it was always enough. and anybody who says it isn't should get over it. im fine. why are you trying to make me not fine #ok im done im done i just wnated to pour all this out. it feels a little cheesey but legitimately most nights to me feel like they dont mat #and this one is one that for the first time in a long felt like it finally did

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aceys · 7 months

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#i love my bf so much dont get me wrong but #it hurts so bad coming to terms w the fact that other ppl will never try as hard for me as i do for them #and idk maybe im overreacting #for reference hes at a con in japan rn and sent me photos of merch and i asked if he could possibly get me one of the shirts bc i rly rly #want it and he said no the line is rly long i wanna see the rest of the con and im with my friends #i dont wanna get in the way of that! but at the same time if it were reversed #id wanna do anything for him id line up immediately to get that damn shirt #and idk if that's on me for being too people pleasing or on him for being selfish #or having boundaries? knowing to put himself first in a good way?#i can argue it both ways in my head so i dont think im right in getting upset #but i also cant help but sob anyway bc ik id waste all my time at a con waiting in a merch line if my bf wanted smth #n it hurts knowing that thats not smth that gets reciprocated #but i dont know if i should expect that #ok anyway #im gonna get more drunk and try to ignore it bc talking to him right now would just be bad #i dont wanna annoy him while hes w his friends #god fuck #a.txt

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gaystardykeco · 9 months

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becoming abundantly clear that the less i socialize with ppl the worse im getting at it and the worse i get at it the less i socialize with ppl

#its just so frustrating bc like now i have few enough conversations with ppl that i really can spend hours obsessing over each one #and then i can find all the missteps i made and things i said wrong and just fixate on them for hours and hours #and really its on me bc i should be able to have friendly conversation without fucking up this much every time #but its just exhausting like i really do just need to isolate fully as painful as it may be bc my social skills are just getting worse #and its at the point where subjecting other ppl to them will ultimately only make them annoyed with me or disappointed in me #idk i know this all sounds silly im just tired of being so selfish and not having better control of what i say #like i think so hard all the time about how i can be a better friend and talk about myself less and then i get the chance to and just...don #i just feel like theres smth fundamentally wrong with me where the person i am is just not someone ppl want to be around #and no matter how hard i try to fix it i just end up right back here again #i feel like ppl think i stopped talking to them bc i didnt want to talk to them but thats really not it at all #i just dont feel like i can have other ppl in my life without eventually hurting them or having them regret choosing to know me #i just feel like looking back at any year of my life is looking back at so many ppl that are so much happier now that im not in their lives #and that hurts so bad and i dont know how to not be that person anymore

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nathanielzalexandria · 1 year

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So im at my country's ComicCon and as great as it is, im feeling kinda lonely because all my friends bailed on me and didn't tell me until either this week or today.

And it sucks because I bought my ticket early and handmade my costume (crochet) and I was excited to see my friends. but now, im alone dressed as a character from sailor moon and honestly if I think too hard about my situation I just might cry.

#try and make friends #cosplay #second time ever cosplaying #second time at a convention #lonely #i really wanna cry #and i should but thats hard and i dont want to try right now

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kimis-gloves · 27 days

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sour - charles leclerc

word count : 780 - oneshot

hehe a lil charlie smut>:)

warnings: morning sex, dirty talk, petnames, if you squint very hard then angst?? but not rlly, softdom!charles, slight degrading, post/pre shower sex.

as early in the morning as it was, you hear Charles turning on the shower, humming whatever song he has stuck in his head from the never ending party you two went to last night. through your raging headache, you miss the warmth of your boyfriend so you stumble your way into the connecting bathroom, still in his hoodie that you managed to change into at 4:30 in the morning. Charles, already in the shower, washing off the sticky champagne & sweat. Coming p2 in Australia was something to be proud of, but he didnt feel proud. he hoped to do better next time as he hears y/n stumble her way into the bathroom, quickly going for a pee before speaking to charles through the glass doors.

“Good morning charles, ill start us some coffee”

“Thank you my love”

as you head out to make charles his favourite way of coffee, he finishes his shower and steps out to dry himself off and thats when you walk back in, coffees in hand. he looks absolutely amazing like this. hes stood infront of the large window, in nothing but a towel. the water beading off of him and dripping out of his hair. you set down the coffees and make your way towards the drool worthy man thats infront of you. you wrap your arms around his shoulders as you leave soft and wet kisses along his jawline. already being in somewhat of a sour mood, charles doesn’t appreciate your teasing and takes things into his own hands as he quickly grabs you by your hips and bends you over the counter top, almost knocking off the now close to cold coffees.

“Char-“

“A-Ah, no talking cherie, just let me take care of you right now~”

and with that you did. quickly shutting up for him as you let the man take however much control he desired from you. you thank him for any type of touch that he gives you. he goes to quickly pull down your panties, when he realizes you dont even have any on.

“What a dirty girl you are cherie.. no panties and already dripping out of your cunt like this? My my, im not sure what i should do with such a whore like you.”

he aggressively puts a hold into your hair and pulls you up to be face close to charles, breathing rapidly as he whispers,

“dont move, dont make a sound or else you will regret it. listen as i say and you wont have to suffer, am i clear darling?”

“Yes c-Charles” you say with a whine

“Hm, i dont think i was” he mutters, slowly sliding his tip along your slick-coated pussy. you whine again when he quickly smacks the side of your thigh “No noise, slut” he growls before shoving his 2 fingers into your mouth, allowing you to lick and spit on them. pulling them out and away from your mouth he instead inserts them both into your cunt.

fighting back moans, you clench your walls around charles’ fingers, letting him know how much you want to be filled his his cock.

“mon amour you feel so good, i cant wait to fill you with my cum.” he grumbled into your ear as he finally inserts his cock into your aching cunt, he bottoms out with a low hum into your ear. he slowly grinds into your pussy, drawing out lewd sounds from both of you. both you and Charles have given up on trying to keep you quiet as he just gets completely lost into your body. he sets a firm & steady pace, nearly knocking you out as he suddenly slams into you, the noise that leaves both your and his mouth is something that belongs in a porno. he wraps around your torso, one hand grabbing and pinching onto your nipple and the other reaching down to your throbbing clit. the sudden sensation is enough to set you over and soon enough you find yourself cumming all over his cock and fingers, him quickly following after as the tight & wet feeling on his cock is just too good not to cum from.

slowly pulling out of you, he’s planting kisses all over your body. turning the shower back on as he guides you in, making sure the water is the perfect temperature and that you aren’t going to topple over.

“my love, i should probably go remake these coffees” Charles laughs, placing a kiss onto your temple. as you watch Charles put his clothes on and leave the bathroom, coffees in hand, you couldn’t be more thankful to have such a perfect boyfriend like him.

a/n: i hope u enjoyed❤️ this was just something small. likes & reblogs always appreciated ❤️❤️

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austinsastrology8991 · 1 year

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Saturn the father you always wanted and always have. Saturn in da houses, and why your life sucks. Im blunt here so don't complain don't read if you can't handle the reality of saturn. Saturn in the first house - okay you don't like to try when you present yourself, you think people should just instantly respect you because youve been through many trials in life... well people usually dont know how to talk to you because you have a stick up your ass. Saturn in the second house - everyones greedy, but when you are, its not cool. Well it isn't because when you are greedy you act like a goblin. be more mature its okay to be greedy but your acting like its a virtue stfu. Saturn in the third house - everyone thinks your dumb af, and you are only because you lack confidence to drive your points home. you just need to learn how to communicate better, your not dumb but you act like a dumbass. Saturn in the fourth house - sad boy/girl now everyone knows you had a rough childhood but would you grow up already, everyone else has but your still stuck being sad about how life has treated you (or your momma/dadda) grow up your not getting any younger you can't change the past stop wallowing. the past has taught you well, use it to your advantage or let it hold you back. Saturn in the fifth house - pretend players who get played everytime. Always gotta pretend like they are fun but whenever you do try to have fun with them they are annoying. yes you could be fun in the bedroom simply because everyone knows your too sensitive to break someones heart... because your heart is the most broken. Saturn in the sixth house - the real try hards always putting in 100%. suck ups to there boss or whoever is above them. but when there authority disrespects them they go rogue and try even harder just to spit in there boss's face. i respect it because i got cap here Saturn in the seventh house - if your a bad person good luck in this life, because your karma is received ten fold by your partners, they always like to complete your karmic cycle because thats just how it works idk. so better act right or your partner will ruin it before you ruin yourself.

Saturn in the eighth house - will do anything to get to the top. no pain is too painful. well it all is, but the ends justify the means. when they put there foot down the whole room shakes. so when your making a move make sure its the right one because your power plays are on display for everyone and itll make or break you more than the other placements. Saturn in the ninth house - lazy asses, always looking for an easy way out. they know what the right thing to do is, but the likelihood of them doing it is never. its because saturn restricts there luck/ mind and they just have woe is me energy and its annoying make better choices, and if you dont stop crying about it. but if they act right saturn blesses them the fuck up. Saturn in the tenth house - okay these people think they are better than everyone and deserve everything, but they never receive the applause they crave. its never enough even if the whole room is looking at them they suddenly don't want it anymore. there karma everyone can see, and if its too good it feels like a curse, and when its bad and reality comes crashing down they just want to hide but they cant. own your life or it will own you. Saturn in the eleventh - there community will give them there karma, always these people dont have a place where they feel safe. because they never make anyone feel safe around them, then cry when no-one gives them that favour. stfu and treat us better and maybe we will do you better. Saturn in the twelfth - okay apparently this is where saturn is in its joy, and i guess its because god/ spirits judge you. and i guess thats a good thing because if anyone should judge you its him. except the pain here is you have ultimate freedom, you rarely get signs on what to do. will you make the right choice or the wrong once? well they are lucky because they always get there karma quickly so they can always recover fast. but these people struggle to empathise because they don't feel the energy of the room. sooooo just grow up you got the best saturn, and your karma resides is in your empathy. disclaimer - saturn wants you to be the best. and no one is.... so i like to think if you want a sense of direction (where are you going wrong) look at the saturn house and if you are successful congrats your doing saturn right. but be careful he always thinks you can do better, and he loves to humble you. so be-careful out there.

#house placements #saturn aspects #astrology observations #astrology notes #astrology houses #astrology placements #astrology blog #astro community #astrology

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inkykodo · 11 months

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STRESS RELIEF

Warning: Sub!bottom reader!, Dom!top Miguel, Rough play, Breeding kink miguel!, Voyeurism, use of pet names (Good boy etc.), office sex, oral sex, gagging and unprotected sex

This Smut is intended for amab readers, fem aligned readers dni

(This is my first smut fic i ever wrote so im sorry if its a bit rough or amateur i thought i just might try doing this 😭, i also added a bit of fluff in the end lol)

After A hard day of chasing miles morales he eventually escaped with the help of his friends. now he has to find Miles all over again and not to mention the anomaly "The Spot" thats constantly being a pain in the ass to even get a finger on. disappointed Miguel went back to the spidey HQ to asses the situation with layla; its late at night and everyone already went home so he has to pull an all nighter for this one. as he was about to enter his dark and quiet office when he noticed a cubicle being lit up by a computer; he went over to check at the cubicle.

"hey! who's there? (y/n)? why are you still here? you should be home." Miguel asks with frustration and disappointment. you were his assistant but he doesn't want you to work late hours just like him. he worries that you'll be exhausted.

"oh sorry sir. i was just doing paperwork and theres quite a few..." you say let out an awkward laugh as you rub the back of your neck. Miguel puts his hand on his hips as he squeezes the bridge of his nose with the other one; "just get it done... and will you get me a coffee while you're at it? if you dont mind." he said with a deep and exhausted voice. "uh yes sir, ill get you a coffee as soon as possible!" you say immediately as you get up and go to the coffee shop just across the street. Miguel sighs as he turns his back and entering his office again.

you grabbed your coat and prepared to exit the building into the cold and windy night. there were rarely any cars around as you walk across the street; the silent buzzing of the lamp above you as you walk, the damp sound of your boots thumping the ground, your hot breath as you exhale around the cold air; it was all so calming to be just by yourself and not worrying about any reports or documents to get done. ring you enter the coffee shop and greet the barista "hey! (y/n)! nice to see you" Joe plasters a wide grin on his face as he waves at you. "hey Joe can i get the usual?" you chuckle as you approach the enthusiastic barkeep. it puzzles you how someone could be this energetic especially when its late at night. "one latte and café americano coming right up" Joe smiles as he gets to work and you sit down by the window silently observing the place you work at. The towering building reminds you of so much; the first time you went there for your job application, the people you met and hanged out with. ever since you started working here it's been great; you were able to hold down a job and live a comfortable life. ding Joe rang a bell and you snap out of your melancholic trance. "Here's your order (y/n)" you get up from your seat and hand him the payment "Thanks Joe I'll see you around" you chuckle as you wave goodbye and head back to your boss who's waiting for his coffee.

You reach the 20th floor and exit the elevator; you make your wake to his office. "ugh... (y/n)" you hear muffled moans when you approach the door when you hear his deep growls your body immediately tenses up. "you're so cute..." You peep through a slight crevice through the door. you see him then and there stroking his throbbing cock as he calls out your name. "im close... (y/n)" you gasp as you back away and clear your throat. "Sir? your coffee is here" you knock on the door. "Oh- uhh come in!" coffee in hand, you enter his poorly lit office. he always preferred it that way although, you always wondered why. "Here is your coffee sir a caffé americano just as you like it" your body tenses up more as you know he's hard down there and its because of you; as you place it down Miguel suddenly grabs your wrist his talons flexing and protruding "i heard you peeping at me through that hole (y/n)" as Miguel pulls you close to him your body freezes on the spot "do you want a better view cariño?" he leans in and you can see his tip dripping wet with precum.

"Please... Miguel..." you try to avoid his gaze but he grabs your chin and tilts your head downward as he forces you to look at him "Please what cariño?" Miguel lets out a deep and menacing laugh "Be clear with your words boy." Miguel says sternly as he grips one of your thighs with his hands. his sharp talons poking your thigh but not enough to draw blood. "Please... continue..." Miguel's lips curled into a grin "That's more like it. good boy" Miguel begins to move his calloused hands; as it travels up your body he lets his fingers slide through your smooth and soft skin. "your skin im feels like a soft cloud mi vida.." Miguel says as he leans in your neck leaving behind a couple kisses here and there. Miguel continues tracing the shape of your body and he lands on where he started. He pinches and twisted your nipples it tingled and burned against his touch. this turned you into a moaning and whimpering mess. "Miguel... that feels so good..." you bite your lip and you begin to move your hips rubbing against his huge boner. the shape of his girth and the way he was playing with your chest like stress balls drowned you in pure ecstasy. "Getting impatient now are we cariño?" Miguel stops what he's doing and he grabs your waist "Such small and slutty waist i wonder how they'll feel when i use them" He grabs your ass and spreads them "oh and im sure these will feel good too" Miguel looks you dead in the eye letting you know what he's about to do next

"im sorry sir i didn't mean to-" Miguel cuts you off mid sentence as he lifts you up and he places you on his lap. you can feel his boner pressing against your rear as he stares you down ready to absolutely swallow you whole. "shhh callate ahora... we can keep this a secret cariño" Miguel leans in close to your ear as he nibbles on your earlobe; his fangs slightly poking your ear. "you're so adorable cariño all tense like that... i could eat you up right here..." Miguel's hands creep under your clothes as he traces your back. his warm hands making you involuntarily whimper as you arch your back; Miguel smirks as he heard you let out a quiet whimper "Que lindo (How cute)" Miguel removes his hands as he violently rips your buttoned down long sleeve polo. this makes you gasp and "that was my favorite shirt..." Miguel chuckles "Well, you look better without it" Miguel looks up at you as his smug expression seems to be clearly enjoying your reaction. "What do we have here?" Miguel's eyes fell to your chest, letting his calloused hands travel to your waist and closer to your thighs. But something glimmering caught his attention. "Oh?" A low chuckle would rumble as he traced his fingers around your nipple piercing, "What do we have here?" he flicks your pierced nipples. "where have you been hiding this huh? such a naughty naughty boy" Miguel continues to flick and twist your pierced nipple as he takes the other one in his mouth. "ahh... Miguel..." Miguel smiles deviously as he takes your swollen nipple in his mouth. "Hold still cariño" Miguel growls as he plays with the metal object that's attached to your nipple using his tongue. you start to moan and whimper as he plays around with your swollen and sensitive chest; "Miguel... too good..." your chest rises and falls as every sensation shoots pleasure up your brain and makes your whole body start to shake. Miguel stops abruptly as he smirks and leans in your ear "Yeah? Beg for it then."

as he was about to tear your clothes to shreds you two were interrupted by a facetime call. he picks you up and sets you down under his desk and his bulge throbbing right in front of you. the shape of his dick under his Spider-Man suit was impressive. his hard cock pressing against the tight fabric as he sat down properly; it was irresistible. your eyes were fixed at his cock glaring back at you as if its taunting you to suck it. you hear miguel talk with one of the Spider-Man that he worked with earlier you decided to have your turn with him. you slowly unzip his Spidey suit his cock immediately springs out and it even slaps your face. Miguel's eyes widened as he looked down at you; his eyes fueled with surprise and rage "Uh miguel? Are you listening?" Miguel Clears his throat and looks back up "Uh yes, you were saying?" Miguel continues his conversation with the nice lady hes on the phone with. You slowly licked Miguel's tip; the w way his precum drips down your tongue like a busted faucet makes you want to lick it up more. you start licking the base of his shaft and then his glans. "So it seems that the spot wa-" Miguel abruptly stops with a groan as you lick up his leaking tip. "Miguel? you good?" Miguel snarls at you knowing he cant do anything yet "yeah im fine, im kind of busy right now ill call you later" Miguel bids farewell to the nice person as he ends the call. you dont even notice their conversation as youre too busy licking up and lapping his dripping dick. Miguel growls at you "You really want my dick that badly huh? you cant wait to slobber all over it? have at it then" Miguel grabs a handful of your hair as he lines up his dick to your mouth and pushes; He pushes it in deep all the way to the base of his huge cock. "how do you like that huh? i bet youre enjoying the taste of my cock now its all the way down your throat like a good slut you are"

your protests were muffled by Miguel's whole length down your throat. "MmpH!" was all you managed to say as you gripped on his thighs trying desperately to pull away. "Whats wrong (Y/n)? wasnt this what you wanted huh?" Miguel snaps at you he sounded pissed and he wants to put you in your place. Miguel then pressed down further you chin dripping with spit and drool as it sticks to Miguel's balls; he lets go just to catch your breath. "Hah... hah..." your chest falls and rises rapidly as Miguel's precum dripped down his shaft. "We're not done yet cariño" Miguel laughs sadistically as he grabs you by your arms and pins both your hands on his desk "since you clearly want it so bad, ill give it to you good" miguel rips apart your pants his rough hands traces your waist. he moves down lower as he reaches your ass and he feels around. "oh this will be good" his laugh gets deeper and colder as he bends over; his hot throbbing dick pressed against your lower back. "You'll regret playing me (Y/n)" his talons flex as he opens your ass wide open. rip the sound of fabric tearing as he finally rips apart the last remaining clothing you had on. "your puckering hole is just waiting to get fucked" Miguel slaps his drool coated dick on your rear he whispers to you "im gonna make you cry and beg for more"

/Time skip/

Miguel stops abruptly as he opens a drawer and takes out lube you stare at it as he squeezes some on his hand "wait- why do you have lube in your office?" you pant as you ask Miguel "Its better to be ready and not need it or need it and not be ready" Miguel says panting as he rubs some of the lube on his dripping dick. an idea flashes through your mind as you push him down his office chair. "its my turn to take the wheel" you say as you get on his lap and line his dick on your hole. you slowly lower yourself down halfway and you stop. His impressive size was appalling; it already felts so good half-way in you. savoring the sensation you try to prepare yourself for his girth. Miguel seems annoyed as you suddenly stop moving. he grabs your slutty waist and rams you down his fat cock. you let out a lewd moan as it crushes your prostate. you gasp as you try to collect your thoughts from the sudden sensation burning your mind. Miguel pants and squeezes your ass as he begins to thrust on your fat piece of cake. he growls and squeezes down not letting you go anywhere but deeper down on his cock. he watches you bounce up and down while you make noises of pleasure making him smile proudly. "yeah.. thats right be a good boy and take my cock like a slut." Miguel pushes you down deeper as his cock directly presses on your g spot. "Miguel... please..." you beg miguel as he stops and just keeps his cock in you. its throbbing and twitching like crazy. "Not yet Cariño... i wanna see you ride me." Miguel Sneers as you squeeze down on him. As you start riding in your own pace Miguel leans back and puts his hands on the back of his head enjoying the view before him. the more you ride his cock them more it seems to grow inside of you. As you moved yourself up and won on him you began to drool. the wet slicking of his dick on your ass felt so good; everytime it hits your prostate you were sure too see a glimpse of heaven. "You look so good in this position Cariño" Miguel reaches down and feels your hips and thighs as you ride him. saddling up to make yourself feel secure as he guides along your waist as he watches you ride.

After hours of nonstop fucking, (y/n) could only focus on the pleasure he was receiving. His mind could only focus on the man who gave him ecstasy. His voice was starting to hurt from shouting Miguel's name. "Too..ah..much" (y/n) whimpers begging for release. "Hush cariño... im almost there..." Miguel's rough voice drowned out y/n's moans. (y/n) practically lost count of how many times he came. "I can't..." (y/n) moans out.. "yes you can, baby.." Miguel's thrusts were getting rougher and faster. the wet slapping of skin crashing against each other echoes through the office. "do it for me cariño... Just one more" That was a lie. Miguel didn't plan on stopping not until the sun was rising. After one final deep thrust he finally released his final load "Agh...! Cariño im cumming!" Miguel buckles his hip as he grabs your ass and pushes it deep inside you as he came. "Miguel- youre filling me up!" (y/n) yells in surprise as miguel shoots his load deep within (y/n)'s gut. "Fuck im gonna give you my babies" Miguel keeps on going; shooting his load deeper into you it felt like a bump was appearing on your tummy as he does so. Miguel snuggles his lips on your neck as he finally lets his cock slip out of your gaping hole. your shaking legs finally give out as his seed slowly drips onto hour thigh "That was alot..." (y/n) says breathlessly. "Apologies, cariño... i got carried away." Miguel's voice seems to be at ease; somewhat satisfied i guess he had some stress relief. miguel picks you up and cleans after you. he takes you to his apartment since he ripped apart your clothes and gave you some of his clothes. "Thank you Miguel..." You thank him as you grab his clothes. as you put it on his clothes seem too big for you; the sleeves of his shirt droops below your elbow which exposes your neck and his baggy pants that looks like a pajama. "(y/n) you look so cute...) Miguel stares you down with admiration as he grabs you by the waist and outs you down in bed. "Can we cuddle? i feel tired after what we did at your office" (y/n) says sheepishly as he grabs Miguel's arms around his waist and presses against him. "Sure Thing cariño" Miguel kisses you around the nape of your neck as both of you drift to sleep.

#male reader smut #miguel o'hara #x male reader #miguel ohara x reader

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aliaology · 5 months

Text

LOOK AFTER YOU

summary: luke decides to ultimately end his relationship with his girlfriend because he knows hes not good enough for her

pairings: luke hughes x fem!reader

warning: just lots of angst!

rushing was never your thing, but right now you were racing to your boyfriends dorm room in hopes to see what was so important. he rarely texted you at midnight, because by then he was asleep. he needed it for hockey.

you walked into his dorm building, making your way to the stairs and heading up. you had his building memorized. you had his room layout memorized. you had him memorized.

thats why your brows furrowed in confusion when you saw the look of guilt on his face as he opened his door. you didn’t even get to knock.

“luke, are you okay?” you blurt, watching him softly shut the door.

“sit down, please.” he requested.

you obliged and sat down on his bed. the only thing lighting the room was his cheap LED lights that you strung up for him.

you looked at him, concern swimming in your eyes. “whats going on?”

luke sighed as he paced in front of you. he didn’t know how to say it. how to just easily break someones heart. he wishes he could, that way it wouldn’t be hard on your or him.

of course, he didn’t want to do this, but he had to. he wasn’t good for you. he barely had time for you. he opened his mouth to speak, but the words got stuck.

“luke— what is it?” you pressed.

“i think we should break up.”

yeah, not what you were exactly expecting. your eyes widened, shock fulfilling your body. “what— what?” you stuttered.

luke looked guilty. shame plastered across his pretty face. he watched as tears welled in your eyes. the look of hurt spreading across your face. oh how he wanted to kiss your tears away.

“i—i dont get it. did i do something wrong?” you cried. tears started to fall.

luke crouched in front of you. “no— god no pretty girl. none of this is your fault baby. i— i just dont feel an us anymore.” he lied.

he lied through his perfect teeth. he needed you to stay away. to not be with him anymore. he didn’t want you trying. he wouldn’t survive. he’d fall right back at your feet.

“im so sorry, baby. i just don’t want to make you feel unloved or like this is one-sides. its not fair to you.” he told.

you cried softly. your heart ached. how did he lose feelings? when?

“and hey— hey, just because we aren’t together anymore doesn’t mean you have to be a stranger. i want you to live happily, i just don’t want it to be with me.”

you cried harder. “im so sorry baby.”

how could he be sorry and still call you baby? you got off his bed and walked out. you couldn’t stay in there. you felt like it was getting smaller.

luke watched you walk out with sad eyes. he felt horrible, but it was for the best, right?

you walked outside, tears streaming down your pretty cheeks. you cried on your walk back. you cried on your way into your room. you cried yourself to sleep. luke cried himself to sleep.

but it was for the better.

you: i miss you

luke: you have to stop texting me, y/n. its not healthy for you.

you: i tried working on the project we started together

you: i made it white, like we wanted

luke: go to sleep, y/n

you: i got our mini house halfway down

you: its close to finished

luke: y/n, why are you still texting me?

you: because i miss you

luke: you need to stop.

you: i bought mini furniture

you: it has your favorite pattern on the couch

you: i finished the house.

you: please dont make a mini house with her though

tags (perm!): @slaythehousebootsdown13 , @outrunangelss , @um-mads , @bqbylon , @whoreforthehughesbrothers , @p3nislawd , @queenmendes

link to get tags! here

#hockey #nhl imagine #nhl #nhl hockey #new jersey #new jersey devils #luke hughes #luke hughes x you #luke hughes x y/n #luke hughes x reader #umich hockey

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lukall705 · 16 days

Note

Hii!! Can I req Chuuya x SH reader? Can be both angst and fluff, you don't have to tho if you don't wanna <3

𝓒𝓱𝓾𝓾𝔂𝓪 𝔁 𝓖𝓝! 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is another thing i didn't expect people to request, and it brings me so much comfort when i find sh comfort fanfics:(

If you are struggling with sh please know i'm always open to talk if you want:) and i'll try to comfort you to the best of my ability! (i'm usually not on here during the day so you can ask me for my discord in dms)

I'M SO SRRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO MAKE I REALLY NEEDED A BREAK SINCE I WAS SO STRESSED FROM SCHOOL 😭

Also, English isn't my first language so please dont mind any spelling errors!!

TW: SH, gore? Talk about fresh SH cuts, Might be ooc😓 please tell me if i missed anything!

Words: 1,3k

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sometimes in life things don't go the rigth way, is what people say, they say "sometimes in life things don't go the way we want, but thats just how it is"

But right now it felt like absolutely nothing was going the right way, you felt like the whole world was against you, like you were some useless peace of garbage that could be thrown out at anytime, like there was no one in this damn world that would sit down and listen to your pityfull problems. you were at your abselut worst.

And the only thing that could help the with it was the razor in your hand, which is cutting your thigh. you move almost like a robot, you don't even feel the pain of the razor anymore. everything seems like a dream, all the blood coming out of your cuts and dripping and mixing in with the water of the bathtub, your vision being slightly blury.

You can feel your heart pounding in your chest as you bring your razor to your Radial vein. you shake slightly as you look down at your wrist debating if you should cut it or not.

As you start breathing faster you look at the suicide note you left on the chair next to the bathtub. you wondered how long it would take for chuuya to find you, would he even care if you died?

you feel tears start to run down your face and you start to sniffle uncontrollably.

As you're about to cut the vein you hear a loud knock on the door, "[name]? baby are you in there..?" your boyfriend chuuya asks in a quiet voice.

You quickly wipe your tears and panic a bit as you didn't lock the door since you weren't expectinc chuuya to come home this early, "Y-yeah.." you say trying to not sound sad, but knowing chuuya he most likely heard the saddnes in your voice.

"Darling.. is something wrong..?" He asks in a conserned voice, "i'm just.. washing my hair" you try to come up with an exuse while your whole body is shaking. "Darling, you washed your hair yestarday tho? are you really okay in there..?"

'Damn i forgot about that' you think while trying to find a place to hide the razor. While you panic you some how bump into the soaps and knock them down making a loud noise. "Baby are you okay? i'm coming in" he says and opens the door, "NO WAIT!" but before you can stop him, he has already opened the door and seen your cuts.

.....

After a few moments of silence and staring at each other, chuuya finally makes a move closer to you.

"...Chuuya.. please i'm sorr-.." You try to explain but your voice starts to shake and you feel a lump in your throat. "...shh.." He quitelly walks closer to you and wipes the small tears that have started to for in your eyes.

"...I'm so sorry.. i k-know i said i'd.. try to stay clean for you.. i tried my best.. i swear.. i'm sorry.. please.. p-please don't get mad.." You sob as more and more tears start falling from your eyes. Your vision is starting to blur from all the tears, so much so that you can't even see chuuya anymore.

"....shh... darling.. i would never be mad at you.. what could ever make you think that..? i understand how hard it is to recover from something like this.." He whispers into your ear while holding you close, not even caring about the blood staining his clothes.

All you can do is cry and cry, you cant even manage to answer his question, all that came out if your mouth were pityfull sobs and 'i'm so sorry'. Chuuyas shoulder was becoming wet form all the tears but he didn't mind, he would do anything just so that you could feel better.

After some time of Chuuya trying to comfort you and trying to get you to tell what happened, did you finally calm down slightly, just enough for you to able to answer his questions.

....

Chuuya starts washing your cuts gently, you both sit there in silence with the only sound beinf your small sniffles and some small choked sobs.

After a few seconds chuuya decides to break the slience, "..Darling, please.. what happened that made you relapce..?" he asks with a gentle tone while holding your shaking hands in his. For a moment you stay slient, wiping your tears. "...i... i-i've...", you say in a shaky voice trying to break out into a crying mess again. Right at this moment you didn't know what to say, you really didn't know how to say what made you do it.

"...take your time..", Chuuya's soft voice snaps you out of your trance, you feel his thumbs rubbing on top of your hands in a comforting way.

"...its hard to say.... i-i don't know how to put it into words..", you whisper, hoping chuuya wouldn't be mad. You're scared he'll be mad at your answer, scared he'll force you to talk, force you like your mother would always do. You remember the first time you relapsed she got mad and forced you to talk, even when you were crying.

"..thats fine.. its not always easy to put something like this into words.." Chuuya caressed your back in a comforting way, making you want to just cry, cry so hard and let everything out, everything that has been bothering you, all your worries and troubles. You felt so comfortable in his arms, like you were safe. "would writing it help?", he asks and runs his fingers through your hair.

You burry your face in his neck and nod, feeling him pick you up and carry you over to your bedroom. He gently puts you on the bed and you slightly whine from the stinging pain that came from your cuts, holding back your tears. '..i'm sucha an idiot..' you think while watching chuuya leave the room to go get paper.

....

Chuuya comes back after some time with a piece of paper and a pen. He gives you the stuff and sits down next to you while waiting for you to write on the paper.

You sit there for a second before starting to write about how you've been feeling really insecure about yourself and thinking that you arent enough for him and that he should be with someone else. Once you're done writing you hesitate to give the paper back to chuuya for a bit, but you decide to just do it.

Once its in Chuuyas hands, you look away embaressed about the thngs you wrote, hoping he wouldn't judge you for it.

After a bit of silence, chuuya finally says something, "Darling.. why didn't you tell me..? i could've helped you feel better.." He says quietly and you just look down ashamed feeling like everything is your fult. You knew you should have told him, maybe then you wouldn't be in so much pain at the moment.

You felt like you were about to cry again, you felt weak. You just wanted to lay down and forget about the world around you.

"...i was scared.. i'i was so scared you'd be mad at me..." Your voice breaks as you try to explain everything to him. Chuuya sit there with you in his arms listening to you with a worried look on his face.

"...darling i would never hate you.. you're the most important person in my life, i would never be mad at you for relapcing.." He says while stroking your hair and rocking back and forth slowly. you hug him tight, like your scared he'll be gonne once you let go of him.

For the rest of the night chuuya keeps you in his arms while he comforts you and tells you how much he loves you.

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Grr the end was rushed 😓😓

Anyways, pleae give me some feedback, it really helps me when people tell me what i should try to be better at.

Do not repost this on any other website without asking me first and giving me credit!!

Requests: Closed for now

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st5rni · 4 months

Text

BACK TO YOU

matthew sturniolo fan fiction

WARNINGS : smut, angst if you squint, ex to lovers

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

after a long night of playing board games with the triplets in their living room, everyone begins to get bored and pack it all up.

"i'll sleep on the couch," you say, not wanting to intrude on any of their rooms. it's been a while since you've seen all three of them, especially after you and matt broke up, so everything seems to be a bit hesitant.

chris puts his arm around your shoulder, "nah thats fine, sleep in the guest bedroom upstairs. we usually have madi or nate stay in there when they come over, so you can temporarily take their place." he insists, giving you his best smile despite being half asleep.

"okay, that works." you agree, standing up and yawning, "which way is it?" trying to remember which floor the guest bedroom is on.

"its the room next to mine." matt says, "you remember, right? you went in the guest bedroom once while trying to find your way to my room when we first moved here." he laughs a bit as he says this, reflecting on that time. back when you two were still together.

you stare at him for a moment before answering, "yeah, um, i remember." you say awkwardly, tucking your hair behind your hair and tying it up so your hands have something to do besides pick at your hangnails. the whole room is quiet now, the tension being very clear to all four of you.

matt fiddles with his rings, "uh, okay goodnight." he says before speed walking away to his room as quickly as he could.

"you two make things so awkward." nick says bluntly while he puts up the uno cards, "like why are you both still like this? just get back together." nick suggests with a snark, chris nodding in agreement.

you feel a blush grow on your cheeks, not sure if from embarrassment or not, "you think he'd want to? i don't know i just felt like he was over it by now. i fucked our relationship up." you admit, trying to sound casual about it, and not as desperate for him as you actually are.

"do i think?" nick laughs, "he wears the horse necklace you bought him almost everyday, even in videos. he still has photos of you two on his desk. he's more in love with you than he was before the breakup, i think." he says with a shrug, lowering his voice a bit so matt doesnt overhear

chris jumps in, "i mean.. why did you two break up, anyways? he never wanted to talk about it." his words had hesitance to them, like he was scared it'd break you if he asked.

"i broke up with him because of the distance, but now i-" you pause your words, wondering if you should tell them now, "i.. i was planning on waiting to tell you guys this but, um, im moving to LA. we have a deposit on a house and everything."

"NO WAY??" chris practically screams before running to give you a hug that even nick joins, "that's great!! why do you seem so like, upset about it?" chris questions, genuinely confused on why you didn't even smile when telling them the news.

you put your face in your hands, "it's embarrassing. i can't even tell you guys- just.. it's stupid." you try and stray away from the LA conversation, not wanting to admit you moved here primarily to try and get closer with matt again, "do you think he'd want to ever.. get back together? or, like, at least talk about it?"

"i mean, i think so?" nick says, some doubt in his words, "i dont know about getting back together, it.. hit him pretty hard." he admits, crossing his arms as he says that, knowing he shouldn't be telling you what he is.

you nod, words not able to form properly anymore, "okay.. uh, goodnight guys." you decided it was best to end the conversation here before you cried in front of them. something you'd never hear the end of. giving them a weak smile, you walk to the guest bedroom you'd be sleeping in.

while you go up there stairs, you reconsider the conversation with nick.

maybe there's just the slightest chance he would ever want you back. but honestly? it was likely the opposite. after you'd hurt him so badly, it only makes sense for him to hate you. you don't even blame him, either.

that thought hurt more than anything, and you needed an answer to whether it was true or not.

you look at the two doors in front of you, knowing one is matts room and the other is the guest bedroom. you could drop everything now, leave matt alone, and completely remove him from your life.

..but you love him too much to not have that closure. you need a final answer.

slowly, you open up his door and peak through the sliver of it, looking in his room.

there matt was.

he was on his bed, shirtless and sweating. his eyes were shut and he was practically panting as he was jerking himself into his own hand.

"fuck, fuck- fuck." you hear him muttering under his breath, and with just your luck, you lean on the door, causing it to accidentally open more than you meant to, causing him to look up and see you staring at him, "FUCK!" he yells, before covering himself with his blanket.

"SORRY— IM SORRY!" you yell back, slamming the door closed immediately after. "shit." you whisper to yourself, recollecting what just happened.

just seeing that. fuck, you had forgotten how much he turns you on.

a couple minutes pass by, matt opens the door, his face flushed and hair messy, still not entirely calmed down yet. he runs a hand through his hair and clears his throat. "um, sorry. whats up?" he tries to ignore the awkward situation lingering in both of their minds.

you clear your throat, and start fidgeting with your fingers, "can we- um, can we talk?" you ask, also still trying to recover. that was not something you'd just forget about. ever. "please?"

"what?" he stutters, "i mean, sure. yeah, come in." he clears the door so you can walk in his room, "its kind of messy, sorry."

you look around matts room, noticing how things were different, but still familiar, "you rearranged things." you state, mainly talking to yourself, still observing.

suddenly you remember what nick said, and look towards his desk and see the photos of you two framed sitting there, exactly where they had always been.

"so.." matt starts, "what'd you want to talk about?" he asks, once again fiddling with his rings.

"oh," you had almost forgot, "i just.. fuck this is gonna sound stupid. um. matt, do you— um... i should have thought about this before i came here." you blush, now embarrassing yourself.

he tries to give you a smile, but fails, "its okay. you can sit down if you want." he offers, sitting down on his bed to try and make you more comfortable towards the idea.

you look at him, and just admire him. how could someone be this sweet? "thank you." you say, accepting the offer while you sit down next to matt. probably closer than you should, "matt do you hate me?" you spit out, trying to get it out of the way.

"what?" he asks softly, almost like the question offended him. "thats a joke, y/n." he scoffs.

"im serious!" you insist, looking directly at him, "i know what i did was fucking horrible, and unfair, and selfish. and i never should have done it but—"

matt interrupts you, standing up, "Y/N what are you talking about? you broke up with me. if anyone hates anyone, its you who hates me." he thinks for a second, "i wish i hated you." he says in a quiet voice, but it had some harshness to it.

"matt, no!" you immediately refute, standing up as well, "i care about you— i promise i care. its all ive been thinking about for months. i mean, fuck, i miss you matt. im still in love with you. i never stopped."

"thats not fair and you know it, y/n." matt turns his face from you, "i have been waiting that maybe there was a chance we could ever try again and as soon as im coming to terms that it wont happen you pull this shit. im not going to do this again knowing it'll have the same result of you thriving in boston with all your friends completely forgetting about me while im here still wearing the stupid fucking necklace you got me on our first date." his voice was shaky, everything he was holding back this whole time had exploded at once.

you feel a salty tear run down your face despite your efforts to stop them, "please, just— this is different. it's different this time i promise." you beg, trying to get words out but hardly being able to, "just, hear me out and it can be your decision on what we-"

matt turns to you again, "i said no y/n." he hesitates when he sees your tears, his expression softening a bit, "you— you were right. it'll never work with you in boston."

"im moving to LA." you blurt out, and that's all you say for a second. a lot of emotions flash on matts face at those words, but you cant make out any of them. you take a deep breath, "i missed you, and boston wasnt taking me anywhere for my future. i..." you think for a moment. "i see you in my future."

matt stares at you, not reacting in any visible way at this point. you start panicking when he still doesn't say anything.

"but, if you dont want that that's okay too— ill stay away, or like— i can go back to boston, i just have a deposit on the house its no big—" your sentence gets cut off by matt walking towards you, grabbing you by the waist, and pulling you in for a kiss.

as your lips connect, he moves one hand to your face. his touch is loving, forgiving. just how you'd remembered it. you didnt kiss him back at first due to the initial shock. he pulls away, "stay." is all he and mumbles before kissing you again.

this time you immediately kiss back, wrapping your arms around his neck just like you used to. his body pressed against yours. its everything is just how it was, but somehow even better. the emotions are strong, enveloping both of you.

his lips move against yours as he moves his hands down to your hips, making your stomach tie in knots and your face warm. suddenly you're acutely aware of every action, every sensation, every thought, every feeling. its all heightened as you realize the situation you're in

the kiss comes to an end, and you stare at him, unable to suppress the smile from your face, "so.. you do still love me?"

matt cant help but laugh, causing you to join him, putting your face against his chest, "y/n, i just went on a whole rant about how i love you. then i kissed you. i think you can put two and two together."

"yeah, well... i miss hearing it." you pull your face from his chest so you can see him again, looking into his light blue eyes, then his whole face. you missed this so much.

"in that case," he kisses your head, "i love you, y/n. so much." his thumb gently caresses the areas of your cheeks that are tear-stained. "and to make it official, can i be your boyfriend again?" he asks, his voice genuine and sensitive. you know he's wanted to say that for so long, and so have you.

you bring him in for a hug this time, "i love you more, matt. and yes, you can." you say, taking in everything as you do.

you finally had matt again after all this time, and this time you weren't letting go. not again.

"matt," you softly say to get his attention, and lift your head up to kiss him again, he immediately kisses back, and picks you up as he does.

you wrap your legs around him, not removing yourself from the kiss. he sits on the bed with you in his lap.

the kiss is passionate, and slowly getting more heated as both of you are overcame with each other. you're pressing down on him, softly grinding against his crotch. it was already hard considering you interrupted him just a few minutes before. the atmosphere of the room changes, its sudden, both of you knowing where this was leading and neither wanting to change it.

he grabs your hips and pulls you down on him harder, your touch to him becoming even more intimate now. he's breath is heavy while you focus on making him feel as good as possible, missing being like this with him. missing seeing him like this.

as things were heating up, he brings the kiss a short stop, "y/n, are you sure you want to go farther with this? i was already kind of.. you know, when you came to talk to me. we just got back together, i dont want you to rush into this if you'll regret it." he checks, not wanting to ruin things because of one stupid choice.

as obvious as it was that you wanted this, it still meant a lot he had asked you. you almost forgot how caring hes always been with you, "i want you, matt. i promise. i want you in every way." as soon as you say this, as if a switch was turned on, he dips his head down and starts kissing at your exposed neck, making a small gasp escape your lips.

hes making sure he leaves marks, biting and sucking in every place, not hurting you, but instead making you more and more needy. you bring your hands up to his hair and run your fingers through it, still as soft as its always been.

"y/n, y'know what i was thinking of earlier?" he asks you as he moves his kisses up to your jaw, blissfully taking in every little noise you would make.

"n-no." you stutter out, trying to focus on his words when all your brain could linger on was the thought of him being inside of you, "tell me?"

you feel his lips curl into a smile, "i was thinking of you. of us. just being like this, your mouth on me again. me inside of you again." he mumbles, just loud enough to where you can hear it, his breath hot against you're skin.

you bite your lip softly, "i remember." your voice is soft, thinking about touching him like that again, "can i.." you trail off your words, getting off his lap to sit on your knees in front of him, and you softly touch his sweatpants waistband.

he lifts his hips up for a moment to help you pull off his pants and boxers easier as he takes off his own shirt.

you stare at his length in front of you, hard with pre cum leaking at the tip. you look up at him staring at you, waiting to see what you do next.

you move one hand to wrap around his base, he shudders at the sudden feeling despite as gentle as you were.

remembering what he likes, you rub your finger against his tip teasingly, just touching it enough to make it somewhat of a tickling, pleasurable sensation.

you look up at him, lust hazy in your eyes before looking back down and licking the tip, swirling your tongue as agonizingly slow as you could .

"fuck, y/n." he hissed, the desperation clear in his voice. he moves one hand to your hair, keeping the other still on the bed as he throws his head back.

after a bit more teasing, you finally put your whole mouth around his tip, and slowly bring your head down.

matts breaths are fast paced and rigid, keeping his hand in your hair as he tightens his grip subconsciously, his mind fuzzy from the slow pace.

you bring your head back up his length, bobbing it up and down. you use your hands to reach any place your mouth cant, swirling your tongue against his base and getting where you knew all his sensitive spots were.

he's letting out soft moans, trying to stay quiet so no one would hear him. he watches you intensely, admiring the sight, "you're so fucking pretty Y/N." he breathes out, slightly bucking his hips into your mouth, loving the feeling of you on him.

you continue like this for a little bit more, enjoying making him feel this way. not too much time passes before he gently pulls you off of him right as he's getting close, "not yet." he mutters, taking deep breaths as he comes down from a high.

you stand up and he pulls you back into his lap, but this time he grabs your waist tightly and flips your positions, pinning you down to the bed.

matt reaches for the hem of your tank top, looking at you, his eyes half lidded, wanting permission to take it off of you.

in response, you lift your back and help him pull it off you. you're about to unhook your bra as well before matt moves your hands out of the way and does it effortlessly.

"its still your favorite?" he asks, motioning towards the bra. its lacy pink one. it was really cute and surprisingly comfortable at the same time.

and you knew it always made you irresistible to matt.

"i only wear it when i see you." you admit breathlessly, before fully taking it off and throwing it off to the side, it now laying on his floor.

he lightly caresses your body, dragging his hands up from your torso to your breasts, feeling every curve you had, "just like i remember." he whispers, before leaning to shower your entire upper body in kisses. "my beautiful girl."

matt continues to kiss down until he gets to your shorts, and he softly pulls both your shorts and panties down, cherishing every bit of you being revealed.

once he takes off those last bits of your clothes, he admires you while he rubs the inside of your thigh, "i missed you, Y/N. not just like this, i missed every moment of you. so much." he says as he takes off his rings, putting them on the bedside table. "i missed being inside you, too."

your face turns red, eyes glued on his hands now, curious on his next actions, "matt-" he interrupts you by spitting on his fingers and bringing them down to rub your clit. "fuck!" you gasp, the sudden feeling shocking you.

matt continues to rub in small circles, your back arching as he does so, "have you been with anyone else?" he asks, kissing your stomach as he speaks, unable to keep himself off you.

"no." you tell him honestly through pants.

matt hums softly, and slowly brings his finger down your hole, before putting it inside you easily from how wet you were, looking at your reaction as he does so, "so tight..." he whispers. "does this hurt? when was the last time you-"

"i dont." you interrupt him, knowing what he's going to ask, "i mean i like, i do stuff.. i just— i only let you do it."

matt smiles against your chest, "ill take care of you baby." he says gently, coming up to kiss your jawline and softly biting as he does so. you feel him curl his finger inside of you, "can i add another one?"

you hesitantly nod, not able to get any words out. the first finger was just starting to feel good as he continued to move it inside of you, he brings his other hand down to rub your clit more as well, making you twitch from the overstimulation.

"use your words," he orders, his voice soft but eyes full of hunger. "i wanna hear you." he brings another finger to your entrance, teasing you by just putting the fingertip in.

you shut your eyes, "please, matt. please put another finger in." you beg, opening your legs more to urge him to do it faster.

"perfect." he says, before putting another finger in, this one more of a struggle, "is that good for you?" he asks, knowing its been a while and not wanting to rush you.

"yes. yeah, thank you. fuck." you reassure, gripping the bedsheet to steady yourself. it wasnt a lot, but it was the most you've had in a while. not to mention its matt.

he chuckles softly against your skin, and brings his head up to kiss you. he moves the hand rubbing your clitoris to grab both of your wrists and pin them above your head. there wasn't too much force, but his grip was just tight enough, "why are you thanking me? it should be the other way around."

he spreads his fingers inside of you, trying to get you ready for whats to come. after the stinging pain was gone, it felt blissful. matts always been good with his fingers, but you forgot how good.

after a while, he had added another finger, prepping and teasing you by dragging it out for as long as he could make you last.

you had begun to grind yourself down on his fingers, trying to get them to go even further inside you, "matt. please, im ready. please. i need you so badly." you plead, your legs twitching from his touch.

"alright, since you've been so patient." he complies, slowly removing his fingers from you, making you shiver from the empty feeling, and letting your wrists go. he brings himself forwards, and you subconsciously wrap your legs around his waist. "let me know when you're ready."

you exhale shakily, feeling matt rub against your entrance. whether he's just trying to get ready, or if hes purposely teasing you, it makes your stomach heat up in that familiar way.

you look at him after a moment, and see the desire as he stares back at you, "im ready." you say, bringing your hands up to wrap around his neck.

at that very same time, he slowly pushes inside you, causing you to let out a sharp gasp, "fuck..." you hiss in pain, closing your eyes.

"it's okay, im going slow. im almost fully in. just let me know when you're ready for me to move, baby." he comforts, running a hand through your hair, the other one gripping your waist.

you eventually feel him come to a stop after what feels like forever, knowing that means he's finally in, "im sorry. im almost ready, shit." you're trying to stop yourself from showing it hurts, knowing its going to feel amazing after a second. remembering how amazing he feels.

he shakes his head immediately, knowing how long it's been for you, "no, dont apologize. take your time." he inhales slowly, "y/n, you feel so fucking good already." he shuts his eyes now too, your walls tightening more around him the longer he stays still inside you.

"okay. okay." you speak up after a few silent moments, "move, please. im ready." you whimper, moving your hands to grab his shoulders, tightening your grip on him to prepare yourself.

matt nods, and slowly pulls himself back and forward again. it stings, but already hurts less than you thought it would.

"faster." you let out in a breathy sigh, looking directly at him now that you're more used comfortable towards the feeling.

"wont fight you on that one, baby." he huffs out, increasing his pace gradually so it's not too much at once for you.

now you have yourself arching your back as he thrusts into you rapidly. he's being gentle, but it's just enough so you can feel his passion. you can feel how badly he wants you.

he's letting out breathy moans, and is leaning into you while continuing at his pace, not taking even the slightest break.

your legs and hips are shaking, bucking up for as much friction as you can get during this, the pleasure building more and more.

you can hear his pants next to your ear, he leans in to kiss you despite not being properly able to. the kiss is sloppy, but heated. there's so much love behind it, and you know you can both feel it, "fuck y/n. you're so perfect, such a good girl. ive wanted this for so long baby, you have no idea." his words are broken apart as he ruts against you.

"im close." you say, his words bringing you to the brink of an orgasm, already still recovering from that high from earlier you know you wont last long, "can i cum, please?"

matt inhales sharply, bringing his hand to your neck and squeezes softly subconsciously. matt slowly nods, "yes. fuck, yes."

with matts permission, you let out a moan saying matts name, slightly hoarse from the grip he has on your neck. you feel yourself grow warmer than before as you release, biting your bottom lip, trying to keep a little bit of dignity for yourself.

"fuck." matt sighs out. "me, too. im- fuck, i have to-" he quickly pulls out and releases all over your stomach and breasts, his mouth open as whimpers fall out of it.

"fuck. sorry." he apologizes, leaning over to grab a towel.

he quickly wipes his cum off you, and throws the towel in a bin of other dirty clothes, "do you need to take a shower or anything?" he asks, clearly still out of breath.

thats an obvious no since you can hardly talk, let alone stand up for that long, "no its okay." you respond as you scoot up, patting a spot on the bed, "just stay here with me. or, i— i can leave if you want me too—" you panic, not knowing if he wanted you to leave or not. you didn't want to have the wrong idea and invade in matts privacy.

"no, y/n." he laughs softly, "stay, please. just give me one second, okay? ill be right back." matt grabs some underwear and sweatpants and throws them on before kissing your forehead and leaving the room.

a few minutes pass by, and he comes back holding a plate of some of your favorite snacks and two bottles of water. "i know its late, so you probably don't want anything to eat right now, but at least drink some water for me if you can." he hands you the water and puts the snacks down on top of the drawers next to you, "do you want some clothes to sleep in? a sweater? you're cold, arent you?"

you just stare at him admiringly for a beat, wondering how you got so lucky as to have this wonderful man back in your life, "dont stress, matt. you dont need to do all of this. can you just hand me my underwear and maybe a jacket or something?" you request, a smile on your face. you missed this feeling so much.

"yeah, totally. here," matt grabs your underwear and a random ransom hoodie he has and hands them to you. you quickly put them on, and matt crawls in bed with you, "come here." he whispers softly, wrapping his arm around you and running his fingers up and down your arm, "i missed you."

a gentle smile forms on your lips as you lean into his touch. "i missed you, too."

matts silent again, lost in thought, "why dont you just stay here? i mean, it might be too soon but— it'd save money for you and plus you'd be here most of the time anyways. plus, i could see you more."

your face is immediately covered in a blush at the implication. its a risky idea, but hes right. it'd make more sense, after all you were going to be here more than your own house anyways, "you know what? i dont think thats a bad idea. if it means i get to live like this everyday, im definitely down." you snicker while leaning more into matts chest, "but the issue is i signed to live there for at least 6 months already."

"that's okay," matt assures you. "as long as you're nearby, you know?"

you nod, leaning in to kiss him softly. his hand gives your waist a gentle squeeze before chuckling softly.

"round two?"

A/N

hope u enjoy!! part 2 is in the making

#sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo fanfic #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #matt sturniolo #smut #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader

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badgyalshii · 23 days

Text

ITS NEVER OVER |||| (FINALE)

Word count: 4.1k

Paul Atredies x F!Reader (always safe for POCS + PLUSSIZE)

warnings: do NOT read this without reading the past chapters! This is the FINALE. Depression, language, death.

A/n: no words can describe how much this fic lowkey affected me, im greatful for my new followers and thank you for reading this and riding in this journey with me! I love you all, and proceed with caution, and once yr done reading come ttm!

READDDD THE FIRST CHAPTERS! LAST WARNING ITS RLLY GOOD🙄 I . II . III . IV .

Although you and chani shared a room,it still felt like something was missing, and it was clearly paul. You were already scared, but now you grew uncomfortable, you knew these people around you, but it was clear as day something changed, and both you and chani spoke about it, the tension in the air thick between the people you knew your whole life, something was up. You still didn't know where he was and you explained this to chani which she held you in her arms and listened to you vent while softly messing with your hair. ¨he will find you, he will come back, paul is strong, y/n, smart¨ she muttered, looking at you. You would cry if you could, but you never did. It was a rule, don't waste water, so it was in your bones not to cry. It was still your first day coming back to the palace, and it was late at night, you barely heard any footsteps outside of the rather big, dark, and quiet room.

¨maybe i should try to find him?¨ you said, looking at up chani and she let out a sigh before letting you go and touching her chin, rubbing it before coming up to your cheek. ¨you deserve rest. This is too much, enough about paul y/n! Just sleep. That's all you need to do, he will find you¨ her tone was demanding to which you didn't understand why, you furrowed your eyebrows and looked at her sadly, and she laughed before standing up. ¨you know what? Do what you want to y/n. 6 years on the road for what! I've spent my years with you, and you aren't appreciative at all, it hurts my feelings,¨ she revealed, putting her hands on her hips and pacing. ¨paul, paul, paul! Go find him! And when you do and hes not the same dont even fucking talk to me¨ she laughed. ¨chani, don't be like this-¨

¨like what? Seriously, what? If thats what you want, go fucking get it. Because I'm done. I've done enough! You can't even live without paul! Have you not learned anything on your own? From stilgars teachings? From me?!¨ She blew up, all the things she wanted to finally say, she said, before she couldn't, because she tried her best to hear you out, but god you are so hard headed. She didn't even want to look at you. ¨why are you treating me like this?¨ you whispered, looking at her hurt. There was a lump in your throat and your lip pouted. ¨stop treating me like this¨ you said, looking at her begging. ¨you're so unbelievable. I hope you find what you want¨ she sighed and exited the door. You watched as she left before standing and trying to push the frog in your throat down with your knuckles.

This was all so sudden, why does she feel this way? Why did she do that to you? What did you do that was so wrong. But you were now awoken, aware that she wasn't wrong at all, and it hurt. It hurt that you were this way, could you live without paul? It wasn't your fault that you felt like this, maybe she was just jealous, but that isn't the right way of thinking. You laid in the cotton sheets and sat in the darkness, thinking, drifting throughout all of your thoughts as your throat clogged up and you tried your hardest to fight the feeling, but you couldn't. You let out a weak sob, trying to fight the tears that were about to escape your eyes. You swallowed, why? How long had she been feeling this way? Did she secretly hate you? Does she hate you? Maybe you're exaggerating. You came to terms with that and hoped when you slept you woke up to paul.

Knock knock knock

You woke up in a panic, how long have you slept? Was it the next morning? The room was horrifyingly black and you'd been in such a trance you forget what happened before you went to sleep. You heard the knocks again and you became nervous, slowly standing and wondering if you should pretend like you just weren't there, and suddenly the door opened, hardened eyes looked at you, you could feel it, but you couldn't see it. You heard the door creek as it continued to open until the door hit the wall with a small bang.

You slowly crouched down, reaching for the dagger that was in your boot, ̈hello?!¨ you called out after you stood in position. What the fuck was going on? So many thoughts coursed through your head as you wondered who was looking at you, would they say anything back? What should-

¨ Empress irulan has called you for dinner¨ the deep dark voice said, before reaching for the light and flickering it on. You let out an oh and your position changed to an awkward one, putting the dagger in your pocket before he turned the light on. You nodded your head, before letting out a chuckle. ¨erm, didn't know there was a light¨ he didn't find it funny, but he didn't look like he found anything funny. He wore a mask that covered his mouth and his eyebrows looked like he was always angry. ¨follow me¨ he said before turning around, and started walking without you.

It didn't take you long to follow him, the halls were long and quiet, only light from the chandeliers supporting your vision, if it wasn't such a gut sickening situation, the place would seem cooler and more lovely. The only thing that could be heard is the guards hard steps against the pavement of the floor. You looked around and tried to take in the area but every time you tried to think about something positive you couldn't help but think maybe this was the night you were gonna die. You had no protection besides your own, considering chani was mad and ran off to wherever. ¨bitch¨ you muttered under your breath thinking about it, and that seemed to take over your mind now. Why would she do that? What an asshole, and you both could have just talked about it! No need to blow up in your face, trash. You seemed to still be angry about it as you arrived to the door.

You finally arrived at the offly secret room, the entire room was black, the only thing that shined was the dinner table and irulan since there was a single chandelier hanging almost close to touch the dinner table, which must've been sturdy. Irulan sipping wine with a dinner plate in front of her and the same thing on the opposite side of her, guessing that space was for you. “Your majesty” the guard says, irulan looks over at the guard and the guard took notice before nodding, leaving the premises.

There you were, all alone, or you'd hope, with Irulan. Truth was, you could take her on your own no problem. You silently walked over and she watched you the entire time, you pulled out your own seat before scooting yourself in. you cleared your throat and looked ahead. Pretty embarrassing, if you will.

Irulan was dressed in silks, diamonds, everything anyone would want, her hair soft, teeth white and the way she stared at you like you were so beneath her was infuriating, but also made you insecure. You knew how you looked. Your hair is messy. Rips in your clothes. Self care isn't really relevant when you're on the road. She sipped her wine slowly, watching your every move before she set down the glass, and when she did, it was an offly loud sound. You awkwardly looked at her, you tried, tried your hardest actually to hide the fact that you were nervous, that you were scared, but the way that Irulan was looking at you, it was as if she could already tell.

Looking at this glorious food and wine made your throat quench, your mouth watering at the sight. It was filled with mashed potatoes, steak and vegetables, clearly from somewhere else because on this planet you don't really get such fantasies. You looked down at the meal and pursed your lips together, it wasn't that serious, but when you've been looking for scraps for years, and there was a plate just looking at you, waiting for it to be eaten, there's only so much you could do.

You didn't trust it, you averted your eyes from the plate and back up to her. ¨you can eat, you know¨ she said, her voice stern and upright as a smirk played on her lips. She couldn't help but laugh, her white teeth showcasing while you sat there, nervous, suspicious, annoyed, but now, embarrassed. Was there no way you could beat her? Was she just better than you? That wasn't even the point, was she aiming to kill you tonight.

You shut out all of the questions, this was a shot to assert your dominance.your eyebrows furrow in a suspicious state and you placed your hands together. ¨why am I here?¨and you broke her laugh, her eyebrows raised as she cleared her throat. This time, you sat tall, your voice strong. Stronger than you thought it would be. She came back to sitting straight and took a sip of her wine once again.

¨why did you come back?¨ she answered your question with another question. You looked at her before wincing your eyes, ¨is this about paul-¨ before you could finish your sentence, she cleared her throat and flashed you a soft smile. ¨We haven't talked since the wedding, won't even have a child for the sake of his bloodline¨ she said, now she has become comfortable. Picking up her glass and moving it to where the liquid forms into a circle. You had nothing to say. ¨you're a very smart girl¨ she says, looking at the glass.

¨I am a woman, thank you¨ you stated, you sat up, she eyed you, her head slowly turning up as she looked at you up and down once again. The room fell quiet. Weirdly quiet. She studied you again and again, as if she was trying to find out about you. ¨do you have secrets?¨ she asked, picking up her fork and taking a bite of her steak. ¨doesn't everyone?¨ you replied. The way she bit the steak, man, you wanted a piece. You could feel your stomach rumble. She chewed and nodded her head. ¨is the reason why you came back a secret?¨ she asked, swallowing her steak.

¨i came back because paul is the one i love-¨ ¨he's changed¨ irulan cut you off. ¨lots of blood on your hands can make you a changed person, you'll see¨ she winked and pointed her fork at you. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, ¨how do you know if you guys haven't talked since the wedding?¨ you argued, but you didn't want to fight it off, you wanted to hear what she had to say. ¨you'll see it, in his eyes-¨ ¨everyone knows his eyes are blue-¨

¨it's not that, y/n. Hes….what is a good way to say this¨ she thought out loud. ¨grumpy¨ she finished, before taking another bite of her steak. ¨and by grumpy you mean what?¨ ¨lazy¨ she replies, now taking a bite of her mashed potatoes before she looks up at you. ¨How could he be lazy if he's been gone for two years trying to find me? You know, I don't understand you. What are you trying to get out of me? Hm? What do you want?¨ you put your hands on the table about to lift yourself so suddenly before irulan stood and told you not to move. ¨I ordered the guards to watch and if you make any sudden movements they will take you out no hesitancy, i recommend you sit¨ she says quickly. You look in her eyes, it showed genuine concern as her hand was on yours.

¨ So you're scared of me?¨ you lowered, she sat along with you before shrugging and drinking the rest of what was in her wine glass. ¨let's be honest, you could have taken me out the first time you saw me . irulan says, you say nothing as you watch her, ̈and the food is poisoned?¨ you asked. She shook her head no, all this time wasted, you could've been with chani, you could've left, to find paul,, but here you sat. ¨so once again. Why am i here?¨ you asked again.

¨I don't want to be weak to others, if Paul comes back, I don't want anyone to know about you guys¨ she answers genuinely, it seems as if she's quite tipsy. You chuckle ¨irulan. Everyone does,¨ this was surprising, and how could irulan possibly want you to hide your love for paul when that's all you've really known, even in public, holding hands, considerably long hugs, small and innocent kisses. ¨ Now if you would excuse me¨ you look up, around before slowly standing, leaving irulan where she was. She looked at you, watched you intently and her eyes sat fierce, almost telling you to watch your back silently. You let out a breath before taking the plate and the wine with you, exiting the door and now having to find your way back to your room.

What a shitshow in one day, you would've thought things went way different, and you thought about it in your head, the scenario you had as you continued to walk through the halls.

You ran to the walls of the palace, and the security guard finally smiled for once in his life, considering the usual role he had to play as the job. You imagined he told you, “Paul's waiting, go to your room” and somehow you just knew where the room was. You'd see paul, paul sleeping, wondering what he dreamed of, since he was sleeping such soft snores, his nose flaring only from time to time. His eyebrows relaxed, his lightly chapped lips parted, taking in the air and softly breathing out. He wasn't tucked into the bed- no only when you were there to touch him and hold him in his sleep. He was shirtless, you touched his arm and softly forwarded it to the side of his cheek and up to his hair. His eyebrows would furrow before he opened his eyes, and when he did he blinked twice. Oh you remembered this like your left and your right, he wouldn't believe it, he would be so desperate in such a good situation, he cried for it. You'd make love to teach others before the night ended how it usually did, with you holding him and running your hands all through his hair and you both fell asleep.

You were so stuck in the dream that you bumped shoulders with someone, you caught a quick smell of this other, they smelled of salt and sand and as they took another step, you heard the crunch from his shoes. “Sorry” you let out a mutter, it came out in a groggy tone, didn't sound like you usually do, you sounded weak, sad and it didn't help that your head was hung low. He let out a hum and continued walking, at this point, you didn't care anymore, your day was already bad. You continued to walk, stepping and not picking up your feet before you decided maybe it was time to try the mashed potatoes that were on the plate, before you heard footsteps running to you, you looked over, did irulan just send one of her guards to you? But as he got closer, you saw his eyes, hazel, just looking at you and staring at you whilst he ran. You dropped the plate but kept the knife that was on the plate and stood in position for the second time today.

As the unknown person ran to you, you tried to breathe faster, heavier to tell when they were close, there he was! Quick! His hands reached out to you and when he pressed his body to yours, there was a squelch sound, of the knife breaking skin. You looked into the eyes that were pouring into your own with fear on your face, had you just made a mistake? The hazel eyes piercing your own were in shock, also covered in fear and you heard his mouth become agape. What the fuck just happened? Who is this?

You reach up with your free hand as he continued to hold you tightly and leaned on you, letting out a mutter, ¨y/n¨ he let out, you took off the mask and, ¨oh my god, no…no no no¨ your eyebrows furrowed as your mouth became agape. You froze and your hands shook, guilt covering your body.

¨paul¨ you said, when he tried to talk, he coughed blood on your face, drops of blood on the side of your lips and on your cheek, you let go of the knife in your hand and his body weight completely leaned on you making you both fall down. ¨paul paul paul, no!¨ you yelled, ¨no!¨ this couldn't be true, you were washed of accidental betrayal. All the blood dropped from your head to your feet. You laid him flat on his back and he choked every time he breathed, ¨talk to me! Please keep breathing, please, paul, please, it was an accident!¨ you let out, you sat in his lap and looked at the wound, you wouldn't be able to take off his thick cover as a shirt without taking out the knife, the handle was too thick. Sniffles came to your nose as you let out a loud fuck. ¨c-calm..do-wn¨ he choked. You looked at him before ripping off your shirt and wrapping it around his both to apply pressure to the wound. You leaned up and put your hand on the side of his cheek, your hand covered in his blood as you pleaded for him to stay alive. When he started to be unresponsive, still breathing and looking at you, trying to speak, you called out for help, yelled out that paul atreides has been stabbed, the emperor has been stabbed!

Guards instantly came and ripped you off of him, they put you in shitty and gritty handcuffs that itched your hands, but you weren't focused on that, tears brimmed your eyes as you watched the blood continue to pour from his mouth, he looked over, his body jittering, his lips moving as he was trying to tell you something, ¨i-i..found..¨ his hand reached up to you. ¨paul! Please!¨ you cried, yelling, the guards pulled you away and you shouted, ¨i love you! Please, hold on! Wait for me!” you yelled, you tried breaking out of the guards firm hands but it was no use, and it was probably better that way, better to get him to safety. You sniffled again and your head hung low as they pulled you to wherever.

You traveled down the stairs, into this place you didn't know, but as you continued to walk, there were cells, prison cells. People in them looked desperate, starved. Tears continued to stroll down your cheek, why? Why out of all days, you are positive you just killed the love of your life, and you didn't even hesitate. They took off the cuffs and threw you in a cell, you fell to the ground and on your knees as the guards looked down at you from the other side of the gate. ¨just, tell me when he is alive…please ̈ you begged, looking up at them. One laughed while the other shook his head at you before they both walked away.

The cell was cold and looking at the marks on the wall, you could tell this isn't the place to be. You sat on the ground, knees up to your chest, you didn't want to eat, you didn't want to sleep, you just wanted to know if Paul was alive, it had been three days, men in the cells were picking at you, but you paid them no mind. Three shitty trays of food sat in front of you, a guard felt bad for you, telling you, you should eat something, but you just couldn't. You sat in the same position they left you in, lips chapped, body shivering, and you were sure you would never return.

Suddenly, you heard something from the intercom, clear as day, you looked up to the speaker in your cell, ¨excuse me¨ you heard them clear their throat, this was the time, to know if he was alive, you stood and paced, waited on them to speak again, anxiety in your stomach and a rock laid in your throat, you tried to push it down with your knuckles. You looked at the speaker, eager and needy. ¨our emperor,¨ they cleared their throat again…you put your hands on your hair, ¨hurry up!¨ you yelled, still pacing.

¨has fallen¨ a shriek left your lips, hurt washed through your body and you fell on your knees again. Prisoners cheered through the cells, hell yeahs, wooo!´s. You grabbed your heart as cries escaped your lips, your throat hurt, you screamed from the top of your lungs. ¨y/n y/l/n has murdered the emperor¨ your mouth only fell more and you covered it with the palm of your hand. ¨holy! Ain't that you?!¨ the prisoner across from you said, while pointing at you. You said nothing, but he laughed. ¨emperor got killed by a girl!¨ he joked, but then, people started cheering you on now.

You heard a chant of your name and it made your head almost dizzy. ¨no! Shut up! Shut up!¨ you yelled, voice hoarse, no one could hear you the way they screamed and cheered, smiles on their faces. You lost so much breath your vision was poor, but then you heard your cell being opened, you laid over, looking at the ground before you felt guards grabbing you from under your armpits and lifting you up, your feet dragged as they were forced to move you. You still heard others shouting your name. What was this? Where were they taking you? You couldn't focus on one thing, and when you closed your eyes, they stayed close.

When you awoke, your neck and wrists were restrained, when you opened your eyes and looked up, there was a crowd, filled with freman, your people, shouting kill her. Your eyebrows furrowed when you looked at your wrists, you were about to be beheaded. You shook and tried to get out of there. Others laughed and you looked up again. They stood chani and paul's mother, chani looked sick, this wasn't true. Irulan stood there also, a black veil on her head as she watched you, no emotion on her face, but then suddenly there was a smirk. ¨silence!¨ a man yelled over the crowd, ¨does anyone object to this death sentence?¨ he yelled over. You looked at chani, then Lady Jessica, your eyes pleaded, but the way they wanted you dead, if they tried to fight for you, it seemed like they would be in your situation also. Stilgar looked at you with a stern, hard and stiff look. All these people, all your people, just turned a blind eye to the love you and Paul shared, you didn't even get a chance to explain yourself, would you go out unheard? Your breath quickened and you tried to calm yourself, tried to make peace, but once you blinked your eyes, they never opened.

This was it, you were dead. At least you would meet him on the other side. Looking back on it, maybe this was meant to be, in a way, it was beautiful. The pair suffered when they were not together, but now they get everlasting peace and happiness. Maybe they would get married, walk along the green grass, dress in all white, have a few kids together. They had each other, through thick and thin, when they hadn't seen each other for years their hearts were still connected and thought about each other everyday. But this is the end. Lovers now turn into soulmates as they fade off in the air together, and never look back.

TAGLIST 🏷

@huh01011 @heartsforchalamet

#dune part 2 #paul atredies x black!reader #paul atredies x reader #paul atreides #timothee chalamet x reader #timothee chamalet x black!reader #timothee x you #paul atredies smut #timothee chalamet smut #paul atreides x reader #timothee chamalet series #paul atredies series #paul atredies x you #angst #betrayal #IM SO SORRY TO THE PEOPLE WHO READ THIS!

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sliceofajayke · 10 months

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enhypen as dads

here are some headcannons on how i think enha will be as dads :)

warnings; babies, talk of pregnancy, theres a mention of sex in hoons but nothing graphic.. thats all i think but plz lemme know if you see anything that should be added<3

likes, comments and reblogs are much appreciated<3

heeseung <3

-okok right from the beginning, when he had first found out u were preggers he started singing to ur belly

-and at night he cant sleep and he thinks ur asleep he'll talk to ur belly

-like if ure having really bad morning sickness he'll be like

-"hey baby,, i know ur growing in there but please dont give ur momma too much of hard time... we love you forever and always and we can't wait for you to get here"

-and suddenly the next day you got no morning sickness!! so hee kisses ur belly "thank u baby u always listen to dada huh?"

-okay now for gender. reveal!! he doesnt care if the baby is a boy or a girl

-he just wants to be able to hold his baby in his arms, and he got sososo excited when the doctor told yall so the doctor asks "oh were you hoping for a girl?"(first one is girl i feel like theyll all be really good girl dads)

-and u giggle "he wasnt hoping for anything specific. hes just happy that were this far along cuz that mean babes coming out soon"

-and we'll skip to birth. hee has done so much reading on parenting books, and all that jazz

-but when babygirl finally comes hes in tears and forgot everything he read. hes just too happy. he sees you holding his baby and he thinks, despite the sweat and tears. this is the most beautiful you look because you have been so strong and brave through out the whole process

-u call him over and ask if hes ready to hold her and something snaps in him "oh um... can i??"

- he just got so worried?? for some reason?? so the nurse smiles and tells him to go sit on the chair so she can pass her to him and while sitting he remembers skin to skin right right

-so he takes off his shirt and when baby is in the nurses arms she starts crying soso hard,

- but once baby was place into hees arms and lying on his bare chest she immediately stops "oh babygirl... hi its dada"

-and ik babies dont really smile unless they're pooping or smthng but the baby smiles at him with her eyes closed

-skip to her first everything,, hee has it all filmed, her first steps, her first taste of solid food, any of her first, you name it

-he'll be one of those dads who are sososo encouraging of every single thing she does

-(even if shes bad at it... "who cares what they say. if you like doing it then continue doing it. only quit if its for yourself not for them")

-shes a lovely singer, she'll somehow remember the songs hee would sing to her while she was in mommas belly and when she was a baby

-he'll cry when shes 10 years old because "my baby... shes not a baby anymore shes in her double digits:((" and she'll hug him even if she feels embarrassed and whispers to him "dont worry dad. i wont be a baby forever. but i'll always be your girl"

-thats what he calls her "my girl" he originally called u that

-and he still does,, whenever he gets home he goes "where are my girls?" or if his babygirl wins something he goes "thats my girl!"

-hes just a really good supportive dad:(( she'll even go to both her parents if shes having relationship problems because she can trust them and they are very trusting of her

jay <3

-ok so jay i think u’d just tell him straight up that ur pregnant

-u guys have been trying for a while and it finally happened so he was very very happy

-i think jay will also talk to ur belly

-he’ll tell baby a lot of random fun facts

-even tell baby about how big/small they are at the moment

-when baby comes hes just ready for it all.

-hes very encouraging of you, tells you that you did amazing before even taking a look at the crying baby

-finally when its his turn to hold his babyboy hes ready.

-the nurse takes the baby from ur arms and tells jay he can either stand or sit on the couch, he prefers to stand

-so he takes off his shirt and holds his arms out for baby

-jay cries while looking at his baby

- so baby is a bit older now, like hee. jay films all the firsts… and seconds

-baby is really smart too

-jay actually got his son an ipad

-but the kid is NOT an ipad kid, he’s actually very very good at time management???

-all the games on the kids ipad are actually some kind of learning games (reading apps, those crossword games, etc.)

-jay loves cooking and so does his son.

-it started from watching his dad cook

-to mixing the soup on the stove

-and finally to just jay watching and tell him what to do/add next

-actually on mothers day and ur birthday they’ll make u breakfast in bed

-their bond is very good<3

jake <3

-so lets say u nd jake already have some fur babies

-yall got two doggo okok so u dress them up wearing those ‘best big sister’ nd ‘best big brother’ sweaters

- “go to daddy” so they do:)

-with u following them slowly so you can see his reaction and he baby talks the dogs lol

-”now what are u silly babies wearing?”

-he takes them both on his lap and his eyes widened when he was able to read it,,

-the pups jump off his lap cuz jake sounded excited so they want to be excited too!!

-”no way…” he goes to run to you nd tbh he almost ran into you so he hugged u

-”is this for real? plz dont be a sick joke”

-”of course its real!”

-he kisses you

-a lot

-he kisses all over ur face nd all over ur belly

-so for this ultrasound its pretty late into the pregnancy and suddenly there are two heartbeat

-”oUR BABY HAS TWO HEARTS?!?”

- both u and the doctor laugh and tell him that has to mean twins

-so u guys go home and suddenly panic arises again

-”....i need to redesign the babyroom”

-u guys have a boy and a girl <3

- so both are very into music and sports

- he teaches them everything he knows and he loves loves LOVES bragging about his kids

- he doesn't do it on purpose but..

- heeseung is telling the group about how his daughter won at her school talent show and jake cant help but mention his kids

-”ohhh *son and daughter* love singing too! actually they’ve been practicing as a duo wanna see a video?!” (he’ll pull out the video before anyone can even say yes)

-hes very good at helping them regulate their emotions too, he lets them feel what it is and lets them talk about them openly

-he never raises his voice at them and if by chance his kids get so angry that they raise their voice at him??

-they’ll immediately apologize because they know its wrong and they’ll say that they promise to do their best not to do it again

-kids are hard especially if theres two the same age

-they argue a lot

- A LOT

- they always make up very quickly, jake and u don’t even have to interfere.

- BUT when u do have to interfere that means it gets really bad

- idk theyre kids so lets say they broke eachothers crayon :(

-both are crazy mad at each other, daughter is a daddys girl, son is a mommys boy

-first move as parents; get them to stop crying

-second to figure out why it all started

- “we wanted to share but we got mad”

- (y'all bought them each a set of crayons…)

- in the end, they make up and showed u their shared drawing of their family… with an extra member

“mommy and daddy we want a baby sibling”

sunghoon <3

-ok hoon wants a baby soooo bad

- he’ll always send u tiktoks of babies and their familes that show up on his fyp and goes like “could be us soon”

-what he doesn't know is that u are pregnant

-idk why u thought he wouldnt want a baby but thats what u thought

-anyway u talk to jay nd ur like “how tf do i tell him?? what if he doesnt want a baby?”

-*que sunghoon sending u another baby related tiktok*

-jay goes “... he spams u with baby and family tiktoks u really think he doesnt want that??”

-”maybe??” anyway so now u go home, thinking instead of how to tell him, not of a bad reaction from him

-finally u thought of it

-make a tiktok revealing it(not posting it publicly just yet. u just saved it to ur phone)

-tiktok is pictures with music first, pictures from ur first date, …post sex selfie(its a cute one ok like ur both smiley) of the date you most likely conceived baby

-then it comes to videos, theres one where u guys were making dinner and started dancing together,

-one where u guys are just smiling at the camera together then he attacks u w kisses

-finally the reveal of the pregnancy test and u at the end saying “im pregnant”

-so you send him that video while ur in the kitchen and hes on the couch living room

the text read “babe look at this cute baby video!!” and he clicks it so fast

-he watched it one… two… three more times and hes crying by the end of it

-”i love you so much!!”

-baby is now born and hes just the happiest hes ever been

-he has a baby boy:((

-i think he’ll record everything and anything his kid does and saves it all until his son is of age to consent to his parents to post his baby photos/videos

-his son loves it lol, he actually encouraged his dad to make an instagram for him so when hes old enough to post on his own he’ll post on that account

-but sunghoons account is basically u, his son, family photos and like a selfie every now and then

-he’ll encourage his son to do everything he wants.

-ur son wants to sing?? sunghoon will bring him to the studio and let him record a bit

-he wants to play soccer?? he’ll go to every single practice day and night

-he wants to ice skate?? hoon will be the best coach

-hoon will never ever force him though. if his kid wants out he’ll try to encourage them to keep trying but if they really dont want it, its over then

-hoon rememinds them if they ever wanna try again that they always can

-by the time his son is a teenager, hoon likes to think of himself as a dad and a friend

-so when his son comes to him with a problem hoon will ask “do you want dad advice first or friend advice first?”

-he’ll always give advice from both perspectives too so his son makes the final decisions on things based on that

-anytime u are out for business, they’ll have movie nights nd fall asleep on the couch together, ur sons head on hoons shoulder and hoons head resting ontop ur sons head<3

sunoo <3

-ok honestly see sunoo as such a good girl dad:((

-he found out u were pregnant before u even did lol

-he made u ur favorite food but u didnt want to eat it so he was like “???”

-he gets excited then says “i’ll be right back!”

-he left to get u take out and to buy some pregnancy tests. he lets u eat first then shows u the tests

-”if u arent we could always try again,, but i’m pretty sure u are” so u took a few

-all were positive

-sunoo smiles the biggest u’ve ever seen him smile

-he picks u up nd twirls u around

-so now ur going to ur 5 months ultrasound, u want to have a gender reveal party but sunoo just wants to know(he does want to have a party tho)

-he jokes with the doctor “if i slip u a signed photo card will u tell me the gender” that earned him a smack from u lol

-u give the envelope with the gender to two j’s cuz they volunteered the fastest

-as much as u guys like the whole blue for boy and pink for girls,, u didnt want that to be the colours so u did purple for girls and orange for boys

-jake and jay made cupcakes but somehow made them all brown…

-they forgot the food colouring lol

-anyway they whispered it to sunoo and sunoo begins to jump around “A BABY GIRRLLL”

-so now the birthing… sun couldnt control his face, this was a beautiful moment but gosh did it look…

-not so beautiful, but his babygirl is here!!

-after a little bit u tell him to lie next to u, he said there was no room so u made room

-”now there is room. lets look at our babygirl together” <3

-now her first birthday,,, sunoo couldnt help himself, he calls her princess so it was princess themed!

-she looked so cute in pigtails, her tiara and of course her little purple princess dress:((

-he also records everything at the party, hes vlogging it all

-so she grows up a bit nd he shows her the video as he does her hair

-”did mom do my hair or did u?” “ i did isnt it obvious?”

-“...dang dad thank goodness u got better at this” “excuse me young lady?” they laugh

-anyway now ur girl is hmm 16

-sunoo still calls her princess and she loves it. she gets princess treatment

-sometimes they even kick u out of the front seat so she sit beside her dad as she drives🤭🤭

jungwon <3

-wonie loves loves kids

-when he goes to film some content with kids he LOVES to send u little videos and pictures of him and the kids hes filming with

-when he gets home, u nd the 6 boys are there. u planned it all together

-so u ask him to check the oven cuz ur baking(u didn't actually bake it, u bought it lol)

-”babe its not even hot… are u sure u baked?”

-"oh wonnnie what did you just do?”

“...take bread out of the oven?”

-”jungwon its buns.. theres buns in the oven”

-”..what does that even mean”

-”...shES PREGENT WON.. BUN IN THE OVEN!!”

- he dropped the bread lol

-finally when it registered in his mind he ran to u nd hugged u “but why did u tell them first??”

-okay baby is born and hes in tears

-”are you okay?...our baby is crying and the doctors and nurses got him rn.” he says wiping ur hair out of ur face

-”i’m okay.. and i’m so happy but in so much pain ahaha”

-he smiled and kissed ur forehead, then ur nose nd finally ur lips.

-the nurse brings the now clean baby to u and gently places baby in ur arms

-”she looks so beautiful..” “she’s gnna grow up to be just like you y/n”

-jungwon was wrong. babygirl looks exactly like him but with longer hair hehe

-she even has his deep deep dimples, shes so cute when she smiles:((

-both of u cant even be mad that she looks like him(he realllyyy wanted a mini u when he gets a daughter)

-anyway now shes like 3? she loves calling her dadda for everythinggg

-she wants to play princess? dadda on his way

-she wants a piggyback ride for the 960427195 time? dadda is on his way

-she still counts on him always now that shes older, just now she calls him dad.

-dad always drops anything and everything for her.

-dads filming some content but his personal ringtone for his babygirl goes off. hes outta there

-she loves to dance too!!

-actually she watches jungwons dance from i-land(she hasnt watched the show yet but she seen a lot of the happier clips/edits)

-she tries to copy it a lot cuz she wants to be just like him dancing wise

-anyway shes a total daddys girl

(uncle) ni-ki <3

-alright we know ni-ki is… well you know how ni-ki is

-but he is the best babysitter ever!!

-he’ll come over without even getting asked to lol

-”hi guys i’m here to babysit!”

-”...but ni-ki we weren't even going out today..”

-”yeah well i got bored so get out of here so i can hang out with my minis”

-so they leave ni-ki with the children

- ni-ki is actually a really good babysitter, he knows how to have fun but also knows when things get too far

- “alright kiddos show me where your parents hide the candy. we get 2 pieces each after a healthy dinner”

-he knows his hyungs hide the candy high up cuz the kids cant reach it

-when things get out of hand, he will never ever raise his voice.

-he’ll give a big sigh and the kids just know to stop what theyre doing and to listen to him

-he wont ever use 'negative’ words i.e instead of “no fighting” he’ll say smthng like “lets all get along”

-then he sets up some music for them to dance to

-if they ask him, he’ll dance with them too

-they’ll even ask him to teach them and he happily will teach them

-hehe the kids will request to learn billy poco heheh

-ni-ki hates it but teaches it nonetheless

-once theyre all tired out (including ni-ki) they all sit on the couch and put on a movie

-they all fall asleep on ni-ki :)

-all the parents have pictures of ni-ki nd their kids sleeping

-actually all the kids come together and make like a slideshow of all the fun they’ve had with their favorite unlce for his birthday:)

tags; @criceofpain @celeste-hoon @jaylaxies @ajayke-reads

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crystalandbow · 12 days

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PICK A PILE🤍

CALL OUT EDITION

Pile 1 is beach, pile 2 is garden, pile 3 is swans. Take the reading with a grain of salt and only take what resonates 🤍

If you liked the reading, lmk! & Follow for more

Hello pile 1👋🏻

Or should I say hello my mama bears

lol anyways let's begin!!!

The cards that you got: 2 of swords, ace of coins, the emperor and the ace of cups.

Okie so The 2 of swords really sums it up for y'all, the others cards just confirm it more. like you guys are torn between 2 options/paths/things/ whatever. Making a decision is important because It seems like this has been on your mind for some time and is bugging you ? Taking up all your mental energy/stamina. *like a vampire/jk* most of y'all already know which path you want to choose but for some reason you haven't locked in your answers is what I am feeling. And now it's time to make a decision! It might be that you are afraid for some reason, you have this fear of what if things go wrong or something like that or it might be that you are unable to make a decision because both options seem equally tempting.

I think you can choose any path because they will have decent results. The advice or call-out message is that whatever you chose to do for your situation, stick with it. Its not about the options it's about you! The reason why I called you guys mama bear is because that is how you should deal with your current situation. Chose whichever path you want, fight or flight. But stick with it! Know that what you did was absolutely okay!! You have to embody the emperor's energy (of being bold and authoritative, because it is your life, do not fall for anything that doesn't feel right )

The ace of cups tells me that you guys should make a decision using your heart ( feelings & intuition) because afterall you know what's best for you! follow your intuition/gut feeling, don't be afraid of anything YOU ARE THE EMPEROR & YOU'VE GOT IT !

Keywords: stability, bravery & action. Facing fears/oppositions, gut feeling

Ig thats it, lmk how I did and only take what resonates 🤍 have a good day/evening/night

Hello pile 2 👋🏻

Cards you got: 3 of cups, death, 2 of cups & 9 of cups

I'm getting the word "love potion" for guys, I mean we do have alot of cups *the 2,3 and nine of cups* woah! That's alot of emotions. I'm also getting the word "self acceptance" all the cards are so positive but it doesn't feel that good? Something feels heavy? And a Lil stressful yk? I think the message for you guys is opening up yourself.

Y'all might have the habit of guarding yourself, but many times sometimes you just end up over doing it, leaving you feeling sad? Y'all feel that you are different from others in a sad way and that you have to put up this "fake" self to fit in. You try to be like others / everybody around you in public and this needs to change, atleast your mindset that people won't accept you for who you are. Change is needed! Stop blaming it on other exteranl reasons. Do you even know who you actually are? Do you accept yourself? Do you love/care about yourself? Do you prioritise your needs first? Its not always others, sometimes it's our fault that we let people treat us like that! The two of cups imagery is giving me mirror energy, it looks like there's a mirror between the two peeps and they are actually the same person but also different at the same time like it's just their "other side" yk? How you view yourself, and how you let yourself be you truly. Love your inner child. Death talks about how you need to embrace all your different sides and be yourself, be unique & don't try very hard just to "fit in"

The nine of cups is here for advice and it talks about prioritising your needs first & putting yourself on the pedestal! Whether it be in romantic relationships or platonic or any relationship

Call-out message: DONT BE AFRAID TO BE YOURSELF let yourself be! Accept love, prioritise your emotional needs first!!!

Ig thats it, lmk how I did and only take what resonates 🤍 have a good day/evening/night

Hello pile 3 👋🏻

Cards you got: the strength, justice, devil & the star.

Surprisingly all major arcanas😭I really wanna know what's going on with y'all. Like what MAJOR shit is going on lmao

Anyways here's my interpretation for you guys: you guys are working hard towards some goals of yours. I'm getting the vibes that the world told you what you think or thought once upon time is unrealistic and unachieveable but to you it feels like "inner- calling". you have started working towards it and might have achieved/ overcome certain milestones and mini achievements that you should be proud about and if not then you should know that they hard work that you have put in WILL workout and you will gain the fruits for you dedication. One thing you should possibly avoid is arrogance and / or greed attachments will be different for everybody, basically avoid the temptations of the devil. Don't believe you're at the top of the world and for some it's not getting overly obsessed with results,etc. Everything will workout at the right time. The justice card over here is likely talking about getting your results. Call-out message for y'all could be to choose the path of hard work & patience instead of shortcuts and unfair means. The star card is asking you to stay optimistic regarding your work to know that it will all be worth it, you will get your answers and result just keep working hard and have pure intentions

So yeah basically, just on the right track, keeping working hard, don't fall for temptations like shortcuts, procrastination, unfair means,etc be patient and you will be good to go

Ig thats it, lmk how I did and only take what resonates 🤍 have a good day/evening/night

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