#and if they do they live millions of kms away

[wild-neko]

how the fuck do i find plague-safe dykes?

#like they dont exist #and if they do they live millions of kms away #like im on discord servers but thats like trying to find an needle in a haystack #uuuugh i fucking hate this timeline #covid cautious #covid19 #covid isn't over #im so socially isolated bc this fucking ongoing pandemic #im so tired #covid #wear a mask #wear a fucking mask #dyke #lesbian #masc #wlw #queer #disabled dyke

[holdmytesseract]

Loki having a nightmare (maybe something involving the safety of his family) & Ella hears her dad’s distress & comes to his rescue with stuffies, snuggles, water, & a story just like he does for her

Bad Dream

☆ The Baby Fever AU ☆

Loki & Narfi

Summary: Loki has a nightmare - and little Narfi hears that his dad is in need of help.

Warnings: nightmare, blood, mentions of death, tooth rotting fluff!

Word Count: 1,1k

a/n: I changed this one up a bit, like you know @aagn360 . ☺️ I hope you and everybody else likes it nevertheless. 🥰

Baby Fever Crew: @km-ffluv @lokisgoodgirl @eleniblue @vbecker10 @loz-3 @jennyggggrrr @lokisninerealms @peaches1958 @multifandom-worlds @fictive-sl0th @lovingchoices14 @simping-for-marvel @stupidthoughtsinwriting @lou12346789 @kimanne723 @coldnique @lady-rose-moon @mostclevermiss @aagn360 @acefeather2002 @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @chennqingg @lokiforever @anukulee

Peeps, who I think might be interested... @muddyorbsblr @smolvenger @mochie85

Baby Fever Masterlist °☆• Masterlist

Blood. All he could see, was blood. Swallowing hard, Loki slowly made his way through the chaos and destruction he had caused. Climbing over the debris, which was left of New York City, he passed by dozens of dead, innocent people, as he walked through the streets. Nobody was seemingly left. Not a single person. Not even the Avengers. Wasn't that what he wanted? The answer was a clear yes, and yet he felt pain and regret in his heart.

 "Daddy." A soft, sweet voice suddenly called out him. Turning around, he saw a little girl, standing at the end of the street. His little girl. Loki frowned, but when he stepped closer, he realised, and his heart rate picked up. "Ella?!" He ran towards her, "Ella! What are you doing here? You shouldn't be-" but when his hand reached for her, she vanished; disappeared right in front of him like stardust. "W-What...? Ella?!" He started to panic; frantically looking around for his daughter. The world started to spin around him; faster and faster.

At some point, Loki lost his grip - and fell down on his knees; hitting the ground hard. He panted; squeezed his eyes shut, tried to stop it. When he reopened his eyes, the scenery around him had changed. He was still in New York City, but not on the streets anymore... He was inside a building. The Avengers Tower, to be precise. And just not anywhere, no... He was at home. Inside the apartment he shared with you and Ella. To his confusion was the apartment fully intact. The rest of the compound was destroyed. Except for this. Once more he frowned; then slowly started to walk down the hallway. "Ella?" Loki called out for his daughter again, but received no answer. "Ella?" He tried again. Nothing.

Cautiously, he entered the living room - only to step into his worst nightmare; coming true. The moment his brain registered what his eyes saw, his heart dropped and shattered into a million pieces. "No... No..." He felt like his legs were giving in; unable to hold him up as he stumbled over to the lifeless body. Your body. "No, no, no, please no!" Loki cried, sobbed; felt like throwing up. Crashing to his knees beside you, he touched your cold cheek and gently shook your shoulder. "Y/N! Wake up, darling, wake up!" It was in vain - and he knew, but he tried nevertheless. "No! No! You can't take her away from me! Give her back! Give her back!" He screamed from the top of his lungs - but then... "Dada?"

The voice was clear. Real. Definitely not in his head. "Dada?" There it was again. Louder this time. "Dada!"

Loki literally ripped his eyes open and sat up; panting. Sweat dotted his forehead; heart hammering wildly against his ribcage. A nightmare... It had all been a nightmare. He shortly closed his eyes and took deep breaths; running a hand through his raven hair. "Dada?" Finally, the god's brain registered the small, soft voice. It came from beside him. He looked over, switching on his bedside lamp. A head full of short, black curls appeared beside his side of the bed; followed by two small, blue hands and a pair of stunning, yet tired and slightly frightened ruby eyes.

Loki blinked, "Narfi?" and slid closer to the edge. "What are you doing here, little prince?" The two-year-old boy was standing right beside the bed; staring up at his father. His little blankie was hanging over his shoulders; dragging on the floor.

You and Ella were currently on a small girl's trip in Philadelphia with Jane, Eisa and Auntie Nat. That meant Loki and Narfi enjoyed some precious father-son time.

"Hear you scweam." Loki's eyebrows lifted. "You heard me scream?" The boy nodded; snivelling softly. "Narfi afwaid dada pain..." The god's heart almost exploded from the sudden rush of love he felt. "Ohh no, my sweet prince. Daddy is so sorry. I didn't mean to scare you... Come here." He lifted the little boy up on the bed and sat him down beside himself. Narfi immediately made his way underneath his father's blanket; snuggling up close to him. "I just had a bad dream, little prince." Loki took his son in his arms; shifting into his Jotun form. He always did that when cuddling with his son. He wanted to give him a good feeling and show him that it was okay to be different - at least until he had learned to shapeshift as well. Even Ella did that from time to time. You would do that too, but well... Unfortunately, you couldn't.

"A bad dweam?" He nodded, "Mhm." and pressed a kiss on the top of his son's curly head. He knew that Narfi didn't know yet what a nightmare was - and it was really difficult to explain. But he also suspected that he wouldn't ask further, because he understood that it must've been something bad. After all, he had used the word.

"Narfi help dada?" Loki's heart fluttered. Norns... He was so blessed by having two such wonderful children. Once more, Loki nodded. "A lot of cuddles and kisses help. Mama always does this. And your big sister brings me her stuffy, whenever I had a bad dream." Narfi looked with wide eyes at his dad, then shuffled, in order to drape his little blankie messily over Loki. "Stuffy," said the boy, before he used Loki's chest as a leverage to pull himself up and press a smacking kiss on his cheek. Loki smiled; heart pumping pure love through his veins. "Ohhh, thank you, Narfi. This really helps a lot. I feel way better now." A sweet little giggle bubbled out of Narfi's mouth. "Wuv you, dada." "I love you, too, my little snowflake."

The boy smiled; then curled himself up and snuggled into Loki's side. "Do you want to sleep here tonight, little prince?" The god could see that his son was already on the verge of dozing off again; rubbing his eyes tiredly. "Uh.Huh." "Alright." Loki wrapped a protective arm around the boy, "Good night, sweetie." and pressed another kiss on his head. But Narfi was already back asleep; breathing calm and even.

Loki watched him sleep for quite a few moments. "My little prince... So small, but already such a big heart..." He brushed a hand gently through Narfi's hair; not to wake him. Even though the bad dreams kept hunting him down once in a while, the reality reminded him that his life was so much better now. He gave so much love - and received it threefold.

With a last look on his little boy, he switched off the light and made himself comfortable again; trying to sleep as well. And this time, when he entered the dreamland, he only saw joy and love.

#the baby fever au #loki x reader #loki laufeyson #loki x female reader #loki x you #tom hiddleston x reader #loki fanfiction #loki x y/n #loki #loki fluff #loki laufeyson x reader

[kanmom51]

Hi, I really like your rational views on KM and I'd love to hear your opinion on the following. Forgive me If you've already touched upon it, but something you said in a previous ask made me perk up.

Some people believe that whatever content comes out of Jikook's NY/CT trip will diminish its value as being 'real' jikook content. That the sharing of it with ARMY instantly makes it 'fanservice', instead of something for them (are people forgetting abt GCFT?) real moments. What in your eyes would still make it special?

I'm of the belief that they are idols living semi public lives. Even when they're working they'll have moments that are special for them. Those moments also happen to further their special bond. A bond that ARMY feeds off of. Can we still call that fanservice when they've essentially had a workplace romance? Where do you think the boundary lies for them?

They have yet to share anything about their trip, and maybe they're not doing that because 1. It's private, 2. It's future content, 3. Maybe both?

Thanks a million!

"Some people believe that whatever content comes out of Jikook's NY/CT trip will diminish its value as being 'real' jikook content. That the sharing of it with ARMY instantly makes it 'fanservice', instead of something for them (are people forgetting abt GCFT?) real moments."

Before I start here, I just want to clarify that I neve said that.

I don't think you are saying I did, and yet there might be those that misunderstood my words?

I was saying that they had a private trip in the guise of a work one. That the purpose was private, their own, all while it will be disguised as creating content, because in this place in time it's the best they could do.

Now that we have that cleared, I'm on to your ask.

I personally don't think that them releasing content from their trip will diminish from it. It's all about what that trip meant to them, not what it proves or disproves to us.

You do get the difference, right?

Even in the very very little we got (saw or heard) from their trip, they were enjoying themselves. Btw, at the stop&shop they were on their own. Even if there was a crew with them, even if they were filming some of it, it most definitley wasn't all of it. It was their trip and I'm assuming that they got to decide what will be filmed and turned into content and what will be theirs and only theirs. They got to experience time together, just the two of them. They got to get away, just before their schedules turn crazy. They got to do this before the looming enlistment. I'm sure it meant the world to them. And if creating some content was a price to pay for it, then they were ok to pay it. But in no way does it diminish from the importance of this to them.

As for what this proves or disproves, well that's a question that those who don't believe or want to accept they are a couple raise to create doubt. And truthfully one we shouldn't be paying any attention to, because it's downright stupid. They created content, so what? They also travelled and enjoyed themselves and were giggly happy and if anyone claims this was forced on them for content purposes they are outright dumb. I will ask them another question. What other 2 members have EVER done this kind of thing? Travel together, like a couple, not for the first time, to create content?

I'm kind of sick of the fanservice narrative. As a whole, every content released is fanservice, to an extent. Not the "we are creating a fake moment because the fans might want it" kind of fanservice though. BTS mostly doesn't do that. I've talked about this a lot in the past. Releasing content the fans like doesn't make it fake or unreal. And documenting their trip and sharing parts of it with us doesn't make their bond and love and enjoyment of each other any lesser.

When we travel and document and share with family and friends, are we doing it for them or for us? Yes, it's not exactly the same, but you can take from it. JK has done it in the past, it's not something strange or new to him. GCFT was a masterpiece and all about his private trip with JM. A very important trip for the two of them. Was GCFT fanservice? Fuck no!!! It was JK letting us see a glimpse of them, of his love for JM, of their trip together. JM also posted his vlogs, and they weren't fanservice either, just him sharing a little more discretely, or more so less obviously.

So, conclusion, sharing parts of their trip (I really don't think this will be a BV or ITS type of content, more like a trip vlog), is not fanservice (not fake) and did not diminish from the importance of the trip for the two of them.

You ask if it can be fanservice when it's a workplace romance. Well, again, we are back to what the actual definition of fanservice is. And the thing is when it's used by people when it comes to Jikook we know it's the fake, forced, ingenuine meaning behind it. So, to that I would say that if the feelings are genuine and they are acting on them, they are not fanservice in that perspective. Do some fans like it? Yes they do. Fact: in PTD LA when JK was hanging over JM at the end of So what, JM all flustered, JK being as loud as shit, the cameras, you know, those that are there to capture fanservice, panned away. Purposefully. I have 1001 examples of Jikook moments cut or Jikook moments in the background, them unaware of the cameras capturing them. Point being, they do what they do because they are who they are and that's their relationship, their bond, their dynamics, content or not. Their interactions. Their reactions to each other. They are all genuine. Not put on. Not fake.

If the fans enjoy them, so be it. But they are not created for the fans.

Get the difference?

And you ask about boundaries. Well, they are clearly set. Because they are a closeted queer couple and because they want a semblance of privacy as well. Both being the reason, btw, they didn't share being together on JK's birthday this year. The lack of a buffer might have made it too obvious this year (especially after JM's pic drop).

As for sharing from their trip, I'd say it's a combination of it being private and being future content. I do think we will get a little content from it, but it was a private and special trip for them, so there will be much untold.

What people fail to understand is that if this is future content, as in content that will be shared with us perhaps when they are away in the army, them creating this content together is huge and loud and telling. They are the only two within the group to do so. And if this is not a one of, as in there is more shared content, well...

#ask

[prettysweetprettysweet]

guys. i've got something to tell you and it's so important....it's so important. but first a recap:

- news that mileapo are coming to Paris, arriving at the same time as @fulltimehabibti and i. ranya texts me the news, all of a sudden i, who has not thought about kinnporsche in a good long while, am utterly consumed by the idea of seeing them with my own eyeballs and confirming they are real human beings. my thoughts return to this constantly throughout the day. i do not want to speak to them or have them notice me! i just want to perceive them.

- our hotel is right next to the Dior Gallery and mileapo are here for the Dior show. the next day, we tap out of our day for a tiny 30 minute break, walking past the Dior Gallery to our hotel. we discover on our way back out that mileapo had been posing with fans only 7 minutes prior at the exact location that we were standing when we discovered this.

- ranya goes to the Dior show and sees them, takes great videos and photos. I literally could not go because of work deadlines. i think, perhaps having reached a neutral point, that there might be another opportunity soon but probably the universe has orchestrated a series of misses to humble me.

- I discover that I had booked our Louvre tickets for the wrong day. we can no longer go for our late evening ticket. during the exact window we were meant to be at the Louvre, mileapo end up there. i am heartbroken but i've made peace with the fact that i won't see them and i'm just glad Ranya got to see them

-today. we are all over, the Rodin museum, pointedly to a few stores looking for certain items, we end up walking by the Galeries Lafayette. ranya asks 'have you ever gone in?' and sort of with a light where-the-wind-takes-us attitude ('yeah lets go in im in the mood to look at stuff') we wander into the galleries and spend about an hour perusing the floors when ranya asks, 'do you want to get bubble tea at this shop?' we head leisurely to the nearest exit.

-we walk out one of the exit doors and me and ranya see him at the same time. i am thrown off because he looks so different in person but i know something is happening. stopped dead in our tracks, ranya says two words: 'that's pond.'

-literally dead in our tracks. we are four feet away from pond who has just stepped out of a van and is waiting patiently. we know something is about to happen and we don't move. mile and apo quickly pile out of the van with huge smiles on their faces. for about a minute they collect themselves, turn, and walk right past us to enter the gallery. five feet away from us, no one in between us. we were not noticed.

a city of 2 million people, an area of 104 km, a full day of activities and our steady stream of minute decisions led entirely by ranya's instincts thoughts and questions, brings us straight to the feet of mile and apo. the probability of that happening is absolutely insane. the previous misses, the way we (mostly me) were obsessing about it, the absolute perfect timing, exiting through that door, us noticing pond despite the hundreds of bodies around us.

i snapped a photo as they walked away bc i couldn't live with myself if i didn't have proof that this insane luck befell ranya who is blessed and god's favorite (i entertain no delusions that i had any hand in this, if anything i was a disability her guardian spirits had to work around).

as i told ranya, i believe in god now. also, this moment was so perfect and absolute that i think im immune to celebrity culture now. i could see al pacino on the streets tomorrow and i wouldn't be phased. i think i also might be ready to die

#mileapo #kinnporsche #yo mismo #apo nattawin #mile phakphum

[bailey808]

Me , a few years ago, I was a construction engineer, maintenance technician, landscape maintenance and design.

My original dad was an engineer, worked on oil rigs , crane operations, my step dad is an electrical engineer, also worked on oil rigs , of shore and on land . Is a marine electrician, and linesman,

As a young boy our nabours had a truck company, we will all go see them ,I used to drive industrial size forklift carrying wood around site after school where my mum worked, with no qualifications whatsoever. Grew up playing around heavy industrial dangerous equipment, like it is a play ground, I now walk in fount of massive rigs on site with no fear, because I have an natural instinct when there is danger. So hard core and alternative gay. I don't fit in anywhere, because I have so much to say .not into commercial structure social values, behaviour disorder, because I have no one to provide assistance. Because I blow everyone away with hard truth.

People say I have an attitude, and I definitely do .

But stared my career with 4 years multi media artist background, movies production, sound editing, computer design, ceramic, have solid work around the world. Can produce music videos, and interor design production, program lasers ( 3D holographic) blue > 16 km range Green > 12 km range. and design details and specifications, EX > thunder strobe, UV 3D visuals , video projection, and even mobile military grade hand held laser , sound activation live , x 6 × 4 green 2× 50mw 2x 150 mw 2 x blue 150mw > just for fun , development, electronic music production, Techno > post nu Rave > European ( Germany, Belign) concept architecture, self supported and sustainable, future based technology and development. Study aĺl the time > coverage all specific information, the universe, outside and inside hyper intelligence, superpsychic , Alien life ,the Prymids, ancient history, am highly spiritual with no specific religion, into conspiracy theories, new technology, militarily, space development, now I do reviews on Google maps > in less than one year it's now over 85.000 views , millions watching on social media platforms, taking about subject matter that goes way over everyone's head, and they get sacred of what I have to say , because it contradictory to what everyone believes, so it makes my life a living he'll, I also have certificates interpersonal communication level 2 > interpersonal communication with different cultures level 3 , first aid core health > level 3 > resuscitation > specialist in emergency situations, but get endless people telling me I have mental health problems, when its the complete reverse, because I don't know anyone that has as many certificates and abilities like myself, and I know how to be treated, this is how it is , if others have issues, I push them away, so whenever I hear this, I get facts and certistics, maps , plans , information, for backup to support everything I say and do .

Yes I'm one of a kind

I was born this way.

#tradie

[stumblngrumbl]

we've started trying to figure out AI pics, particularly those not specifically tagged as AI, is it AI?

today looked at this pic:

love it. gorgeous kitchen, amazing view. can i live there?

well, looking more closely at some details - and i'll admit that some of these complaints could be blurring artifacts - but let's see:

farmhouse style sink undercounter is this a thing?

(not that i know of)

besides, wtf is that counter even made of? best i could say is it's some kind of stone that i'm unfamiliar with; that crazy "grain" look is saying "wood" but it's definitely not a wood counter (and if it is, it doesn't have the right finish to be surrounding a sink!)

someone really smoothed that rock paver patio like super smooth there's no relief between the pavers, no texture

also look at the shadows in this part. the planter pot on the left, the shadow comes towards the viewer at about 630-7 on the clock. planter pot on the right? it may have a shadow, but not much of one. it should have more. the wall in the back? no shadow. look at the rest of the shadows in the full scene and they're mostly around 730 on the clock. given a "sunlit" scene, all the shadows should have the same angle, because the sun is 150 million km away and a step or two to the right doesn't change the angle much at all.

eflection in the oven: I see the patio-ish (not quite the pattern mind you), and part of the door threshold, but i have no idea where that strongly outlined bird-shaped tile can be found on the floor

plus look at the handle of the oven

some escher shit going on there

i guess that cake got stuck to the plate so they're just letting it hang out there

enough detail for plant leaves (which should be yellowing due to lack of direct sunlight) and rims on the pots above but the plates are looking diagonal for some reason

not sure what's going on at the bottom of this light shade, very inconsistent

these pans should be hanging from hooks… perhaps long hooks? and one that's just kinda sorta doing weird shit at the top right?

there's also no sign of a hook in the opening at the end of the pan on the right

why is the mullion on the left curved and the one on the right straight? this is something you'd get right when building and it wouldn't warp because the glass keeps it straight

(not to mention the stained-glass looking leaves behind the window?)

i'm really impressed at the consistency of the cabinets - i only see three different patterns

finally consider the door threshold itself 1) left door goes all the way down to the kitchen floor level and is positively inside vs the patio 2) right door seems to extend over the patio just a bit in back, though it may still come down to the kitchen floor level, unsure 3) patio is higher than kitchen floor without there being a raised threshold to keep water out; kitchen would flood every time there's a rain storm

that's a smoking gun for me

so, to ask again - can i live there?

no. no, i can't, it doesn't exist.

#ai art #ai dissection #fuck ai #fuck ai art

[script-a-world]

Submitted via Google Form:

I would like to have a planet that has a lot of things viewable and named in the sky. Rings, moons, shooting stars, satellites, asteroids, other stars, other planets, other moons, etc. I just like really want to fill it up. Yeah, you might think many of that is like we have in real life but I want to ramp it up even more, lots of fully identifiable ones other just you know, random dot in the sky. There have maybe 500 constellations. 30 planets and 15 dwarf planets in the solar system, of those maybe 8000 identified moons. As for shooting stars, maybe at any point on the planet they'd always be at least 20 that could be seen within the hour. Perhaps massive events can have up to 500 shooting stars in an hour. And of course the planet will definitely have a massive ring system because that sounds like a beauty to see. Basically, astronomy will be very very rich and active with so many things to observe. And that's just for natural stuff. And then people are definitely going to be putting hundreds of satellites that can be observed as well. Maybe even some space stations. Not to mention if there is plenty of space travel (mostly between the main planet and moons or moon to moon), space shuttles will be zipping through the air the same way you could see planes if you lived near an airport. Though, this will not be a civilisation that puts colonies on other planets, they're mostly just research stations although it won't be unheard of to have a small population of the scientists' families, and there just might be some extremely exotic and expensive vacation spots. The populace makes full use of their own planet and their moons. So, my question is, am I missing anything that makes this not work? Things that I should take into account I haven't? I'm not aiming for it to be super realistic but when I can, that's what I'd like to do.

Tex: Too many fish in a bucket and all you have are dead fish, not any water to keep them alive.

If you’re on a position on Earth where there’s approximately zero light pollution (something very difficult to do nowadays), you can see the stripe of the Milky Way with your bare eyes. It is in all actuality a bright stripe across the nighttime sky, and very hard to miss if unhindered by ground-level light pollution and the brightness of a lit Moon. It’s a small parcel of our own galaxy viewed from our position within it, and is estimated to have in that spot of the sky alone anywhere between a hundred to four hundred billion stars.

It is also, thereabouts, 26,000 light years away from us.

What gives the ostensibly density of the sky its luminescence is not how many objects we can see, but how far away we can see them. We don’t need hundreds of constellations, dozens of planets, or thousands of moons in front of our proverbial noses in order to have an uninterrupted swath of sparkles glittering down on us unimpeded during the night - only less pollution, both chemical and light.

On the other hand - having so many celestial objects so close to a narrative planet in question is indicative of a young planetary system still in the process of settling down in its formation, which is in an astronomical sense quite active. Your indication of frequent shooting stars supports that, which given some basic statistics means that you’re going to have a lot of meteoroids (Wikipedia) in your planet’s atmosphere.

The bigger a meteoroid is, the larger it looks as it burns through the atmosphere. After a certain size, it might or might not burn up in the atmosphere, which on Earth it tends to ignite in the atmosphere at about 100 km above sea level. According to the Wikipedia link, there are already tens of millions of objects entering the atmosphere on a yearly basis. Were you wanting that same amount for your world, or more?

As for another part of your question: It looks like you’re considering a research station (Wikipedia) that grew itself into a colony (Wikipedia). The inclusion of family members who are presumably not also there for the purposes of subject-specific research means that, according to Earth international law - something given more context in the listed Wikipedia links, the location is legally considered a place of habitation, and thus lends itself some form of permanency.

Antarctica, for reference, is considered a condominium in the eyes of international law (Wikipedia). All of these can be contained under the definition of a dependent territory, with various strings attached as to what government(s) they fall under.

The inclusion of vacation spots tells me that the original purpose of a research station has been largely outgrown and is considered a viable place for tourism. Tourism (Wikipedia) on Earth has some particular legal definitions, but for the purposes of your worldbuilding we’ll consider it temporary visitation for the purposes of business and/or leisure - more likely leisure as a vacation spot is generally intended for that sort of activity.

I feel like this would be a planet that has zoned areas as it grows, since it seems at least in part a planned settlement rather than an organic one. A dedicated area for the original research stations, residential areas, the accompanying support areas that come with raising families, and areas focused on leisure. A lot of this would depend on the geography of the planet, and where the original research stations were positioned and why.

#google submitted #planets #moons #satellites #orbit

[kittensartswriting]

Character Song Tag

Thank you for tagging me @dotr-rose-love! I'll tag @calicojackofficial, @andromeda-grace, @mariahwritesstuff and @aohendo.

Game Rules: Choose one of your characters and list songs that fit them.

I will be braking the rules a bit lol. I don't have many songs in my playlist that fit really well specific characters, and because I don't want to choose between the main cast, I decided I would choose two songs for every MC. I added a little quotes from the lyrics (I saw @dotr-rose-love do it, and I thought it was very nice because I immediately got an idea what the song was about even when I didn't know a song and they were in a language I didn't understand). There's couple of Finnish songs (both from CMX), which I have translated, or at least attempted to translate. (It was surprisingly hard since CMX has very poetic lyrics. I am also again reminded that you can't put the words in just any order in English. I had to do a lot restructuring for the sentences.)

So here's songs for the main siblings of Bear Castle Chronicles:

Faerathos | The oldest sibling held hostage in the imperial court

The Worlds Forgotten, The Words Forbidden - Sonata Arctica

Save me Take me away Away from this time Back where lies my home

Blood Brothers - Iron Maiden

There are times when I feel I'm afraid for the world There are times I'm ashamed of us all

Cassia | The second oldest sibling spying for the enemy of the empire

Fysiikka ei kestä (eng. Physics won't endure) - CMX

I want to see the world burn in a fire See the favorite children of the creator fall under the yoke I want pain, I want toil, an army of ailments So for even a moment I could forget my own misery

Tale of Revenge - Ensiferum

Wait for me in the mountains, haunt for me in the winds Wait for me in the land where nothing lives Until the day I have found revenge, I will feed my sword Until my heart is cold, every breath of mine is yours

Valeri | The second youngest sibling forced to fight imperial wars

10th Man Down - Nightwish

Deliver me from this war It's not for me it's because of you Devil seems; my eternity Obey to kill to save yourself

Kuoleman risteyksestä kolme virstaa pohjoiseen (eng. Three miles* north from the crossing of death) - CMX

*Translation note: Virsta is an old Russian length measurement (was also used in Finland) that's not exactly a mile, more like a little over a km, but I think mile better communicates the idea.

Who demands to know what rages under the chest When in the twisted world of the heart rages Million snakes in a knot

Fiolew | The youngest sibling meddling in the underworld for survival

Remember - Disturbed

Cut your pride and watch it bleed You can't deny it Pain you know you can't ignore I don't remember

Escapist - Nightwish

This is who I am Escapist, paradise seeker Farewell, time to fly Out of sight, out of time, away from my life

#tagged #tag game #writeblr #bcc

[goldenagenonsense]

Action Comics No. 1 [June 1938]

The OG. The first true-blood superhero. The big man himself, Superman. From what I’ve heard, any physical copy of this issue in good enough condition can be worth a couple million dollars. Can you imagine, something that once cost a dime worth more than most people’s annual income?? Bonkers.

Anywho, let’s get into it.

Have to admit, the thing that catches my eye here is that logo on his costume. The rest of it is the same timeless classic design everyone knows, but that logo... not gonna lie, it looks weird. Kind of a little flick-and-swish instead of the blocky print of more modern superman logos.

I suppose the other big question is, who the fuck are these dudes. Why is Superman smashing their car. Why are they in the middle of the desert in Arizona. All mysteries that will probably never be solved.

Moving on, we’re given Superman’s origin story: A distant planet was destroyed by old age, so a scientist placed his infant son within a hastily-designed spaceship and shot him off to Earth! When it landed, a passing motorist discovered the sleeping child and turned him over to... an orphanage? Huh. Huh.

Like, I do get that this is well before any comic books cared about things like ‘backstory’ and ‘civilian lives’ and whatnot, but I admit I’m so used to the whole ‘taken in by Martha and Jonathon Kent’ thing that him initially being an orphanage kid is downright bizarre. Like, could you even IMAGINE trying to pull that in a modern day comic? Impossible. But at the same time, so compelling... hmm...

The backstory continues with baby Clark’s impressive feats of strength - as a baby, he could lift a reclining chair with one arm. By maturity, he could easily: 

leap an eighth of a mile

hurdle over a twenty-story building

raise tremendous weights (pictured holding an I-bar over his head with one arm)

run faster than an express train

and “nothing less than an exploding shell could penetrate his skin”

I checked the stats for the train thing, and in 1938, the best in the line steam trains (in the US) had an average operating speed of 100 mph [160 km/h] and a top speed of 125 mph [200 km/h]. So I imagine that those are OG Clark’s ‘run’ and ‘sprint’ speeds as well.

We conclude the backstory page with a note that early on, Clark decided to turn his titanic strength into channels that would benefit mankind. Thus: Superman! Champion of the oppressed, the physical marvel who has sworn to devote his existence to helping those in need!

Also, oh my god, it has a blurb about the ‘scientific explanation’ for Clark Kent’s amazing strength.

Like, is this still nonsense? Yes, but I mean. Technically, it’s nonsense with some science to it. I kind of like it - it’s impressive, but not fantastical.

We finally move on to the action: Superman, racing through the night, a blond woman bound and gagged under his arm. When he reaches the governor’s house, he leaves her sitting under a tree, telling her to make herself comfortable, since he doesn’t have the time to.

Superman knocks on a door, and someone (an aide? a butler? IDK man) answers. The doorman demands to know why Superman is knocking at such a late hour. Superman states that he has to see the governor - it’s a matter of life and death! The doorman closes the door and says to come back in the morning. Superman refuses, smashing his way in and saying he’ll see him now.

The doorman is shaken, stating (fairly) that this is illegal entry, and he’ll have Supes arrested. Supes again demands to be taken to the governor. When the doorman refuses, Superman just picks the guy up and holds him overhead while marching up the stairs, ignoring the man’s cries for help.

A new obstacle appears - for some reason, the governor’s sleeping room is locked AND made of steel. The doorman is smug as he tells Superman that he won’t get away with this outrage, and that there’s absolutely no way this door can be knocked down-

Ah, cinematic poetry. Gotta love it.

The governor, woken by the chaos, turns on his bedside lamp while demanding to know what’s happening. Superman, holding a rolled up paper, tells the governor that Evelyn Curry is to be electrocuted in fifteen minutes for murder. However, he has a written confession that’s proof of her innocence!

The butler (aha! Finally, confirmation!) pulls out a gun, convinced Superman is a madman threatening the governor. He tells Supes to reach for the ceiling; Supes tells him to put ‘that toy’ away. The butler warns Superman he’ll shoot, and then proceeds to do so - to no effect, as the bullet ricochets off of Superman. Superman steps forward to take away the gun, stating it’s no time for horseplay, then returns his focus to the governor.

As the timer counts down to nine minutes left, Superman tells the governor that only he is capable of saving the innocent woman. The governor asks for the papers, and then makes a call to the penitentiary. The next panel briefly hops over to the execution room, where Miss Curry takes massive relief in the news that the governor has pardoned her. She had told them she was innocent!

(I wonder - if the governor had refused, would Clark have rushed to break the woman out himself? I would think he would, but it would probably be breaking the law a bit more than he already has with the whole ‘breaking and entering’ thing happening here.)

When we return to the governor’s house, Superman has already disappeared. However, he did leave behind a note stating that the real murderess would be found bound and gagged on the lawn of his estate.

We have a brief time skip to the next morning, when Clark Kent is leaving for his job as a reporter for the local newspaper. His neighbor is reading the morning paper, telling Clark all about how the Curry girl was found innocent. When Clark asks to read it himself, he’s inwardly relieved to find he’s not mentioned anywhere.

However, things aren’t that simple. At the same time, over in the governor’s private chamber, he’s meeting with several other important people, telling them all about how the man who had broken in was definitely not human! The only relief to be found was that said man seemed to be on the side of law and order.

When Clark enters the Daily Star - wait, what? Alright, I know it’s literally inconsequential, but that’s still an interesting difference between then and now. I wonder when that was changed and why?

Anyway! Clark is called into his boss’ office; the boss asks him to sit, then wants to know if Clark has ever heard of ‘Superman.’ When Clark expresses his shock/confusion, the boss clarifies - reports have been streaming in about a fellow with gigantic strength called Superman, and he’s making it Clark’s ongoing assignment to cover these reports.

Clark, with a totally not shit-eating grin, states confidently that if he can’t find out anything about Superman, then no one can!

Like look. Listen. That is the face of a man who has just been gifted the perfect alibi/cover for all his nonsense, and is barely keeping himself from cackling in delight. You know he’s internally rubbing his hands together in glee.

As Clark leaves the boss’ office, one of his co-workers lets him know that a tip was phoned in - a wife-beating on 211 Court Ave! Leaving aside the fact that said tipster should have probably been calling the police, Clark accepts the tip and hurries off.

[Insert from friends:

[Tyler] I mean historically domestic violence was treated differently to today, maybe it made sense to call the newspaper back then?

Wikipedia seems to be suggesting that while the cops would stop a wife beater by that time, there was a low chance of arrest, so maybe a newspaper article makes sense as a longer term punishment if the cops won’t help?

[Solem] I'd assume that the police were called first, and that it's someone from the police calling the paper -- dunno if they still do this, but it used to be that newspapers got bulletins like that so they could add the crimes to the public record and write up the police blotter. Hence why it was the perfect incognito place for Clark to work and keep his ear to the ground for trouble.]

When he arrives at the scene, he’s already changed into his costume and demands the man to stop. The man is holding a belt and standing over his wife, who is lying on the ground, covering her face, but stops to turn and demand to know what Superman wants, and to not get tough. Superman grabs him by the throat and lifts him up, saying that tough is a mild way to put the treatment the man is about to get. He then throws the man at the nearby wall, stating that he’s not fighting a woman now!

It seems that Supes is holding back, because the wall is undamaged, and the man is still conscious, choosing to attack Supes with a knife. However, the man has even less luck than the butler on that front - the knife breaks on Superman’s skin, leaving the man no recourse but to recoil in fear, and then faint.

Superman hears police sirens and quickly changes back into his civilian clothes, thinking of how bad it’d be if they searched him. By the time the officer steps in through the busted door, Clark Kent is kneeling over the unconscious man. The officer demands to know what Clark is doing there; Clark replies that he arrived to find the place like this, and that it seems that Superman had dropped in for a visit. [Also, gotta love that ‘tho’ is used in this panel.]

Another time skip, and we’re back in the office. This time, however, we see Clark awkwardly asking Lois out on a date, and her deigning to give him a break for once. Good to know that Lois hasn’t changed one bit in the past 80-something years.

That night, Lois and Clark are dancing together at some kind of... I guess restaurant? A party or event? There are tables for dining, but there’s also couples dancing, so like. It’s probably some kind of event, but I couldn’t tell you more than that. Clark asks why Lois always avoids him at the office. Lois tells him she’s been writing sob stories all day, and doesn’t want to dish out another.

[Insert from friends:

[Delci] You watch a lot of old black and white movies and this is shown all the time, dancing was a very big thing back then, like the only time to really socialize lol. Basically a club, eat, dance and listen to live entertainment.]

Over at one of the tables, three guys are chatting about her. Green suit thinks she’s nice looking and decides to cut in. Blue suit is cautious, worried that her escort [Clark] won’t like it. Green suit says it doesn’t matter, he’ll just punch Clark’s face in. Yellow suit is just excited to be here.

Green suit marches over and demands Clark leave. Clark notes that this isn’t a robber’s dance, and green suit gets annoyed, asking if he’s trying to be ‘flip’ (which i guess is shorthand for ‘flippant’) and again tells him to get moving, quick. Lois demands to know if Clark is going to stand for this. Clark reluctantly plays into his weakling persona, asking her to give the guy one dance so they can leave quickly. 

She is having none of it, hands on her hips as she tells Clark that HE can dance with green suit, but she’s leaving now. Green suit is annoyed at her flippancy, and tells her he’ll dance with him and she’ll like it. Lois, done with this man’s shit, slaps him in the face. Clark gives a quiet cheer for her, then more loudly frets for her to stop.

Green suit probably caught the mutter, because he shoves a hand in Clark’s face and demands he fight (calling him a ‘weak livered pole-cat’ in the process, a fantastic insult); Clark demures and deflects.

Lois, already in her evening coat, is already heading out the door. Clark follows after her, asking her to wait. She doesn’t stop even after she gets into a taxi, telling him the reason she avoids him: because he’s a spineless, unbearable coward! (Yeowch.)

Back inside, green suit is pissed, rallying his friends to go after her and show her that she can’t make a fool of Butch Matson. Dude, I hate to tell you this, but she already did. Sucks to suck, man. :/

A few minutes later, Superman is on the scene, watching a familiar green car leave the roadhouse with three hoodlums inside. The car quickly catches up to the taxi, ramming into it and forcing it into a ditch. The suits pull her out of the taxi and force her into their car, while she demands they let her go. As they drive away, Butch complains that he let her boyfriend off easy. Blue suit states that they might meet again, and Butch replies that he hopes it’ll be soon.

As the car speeds forward, Superman stops in the road in front of it, hands on his hips. Blue suit(?) warns him of the guy ahead, while Butch just laughs and says that he’ll scare the guy a bit. Blue suit is worried about hitting him, though, especially as they approach and Superman doesn’t move. 

At the last moment, Superman leaps over the top of the car without touching it, then starts dashing in pursuit, freaking out blue suit. Blue suit tells Butch to step on the gas; Butch compares Supes to the Devil himself. Despite their speed, Superman catches up easily, and holds the car over his head. He dumps all the occupants out - Lois included, double whoops! - and then smashes the car into bits against a rock. Which is the cover scene! Just with different clothes for the ‘civilians’.

After the car is dealt with, Superman chases down Butch and leaps up with him to the top of a power pole, hanging the man by his suit jacket to one of the parallel planks. When Butch demands to be let down, Superman offers to cut him loose, which has Butch backtrack immediately.

Superman then approaches a shocked Lois, gently telling her that she doesn’t need to be afraid, that he won’t harm her. (Definitely thinking this is a whole angel/Bible reference with the whole ‘be not afraid’ bit.) He then picks her up in a bridal carry and rushes her back to the city outskirts, advising her not to print anything about what happened.

The next morning, Lois is raving about it to the editor, trying to convince him that she saw Superman. The editor is skeptical, asking a bit mockingly whether it wasn’t pink elephants she saw. This honestly just had me realize that when said editor put Clark on the whole ‘Superman’ thing, he probably was skeptical, and considering that it’s only been a day since said assignment, said editor probably is still skeptical of Superman’s existance.

Anyway, that little segment ends with Clark trying to apologize for the previous night, but Lois is having none of it, outright icing him out.

Clark soon enough recieves a new assignment - the front page is getting dull, to the point of headlining card games. Apparently, there’s a war going on in a small South American republic, ‘San Monte,’ and he’s sending Clark there as correspondant. He tells Clark to take along a camera and to try to send some good shots with his articles.

Instead of going to San Monte, Clark goes over to Washington DC. Which I can’t blame him for, since that’s definitely a scandal in the making far closer to home. Clark attends a session of Congress, watching from the gallery. After recieving confirmation on the identity of Senator Barrows, Clark discretely follows up post-session by snapping a picture of Barrows speaking to a shady character about meeting up that night at at his home. He then goes to the local paper to learn more about the shady man, and finds out his name is Alex Greer, the slickest lobbiest in Washington... and no one knows who backs him.

By the time 8:30 PM rolls around, Superman is clinging to the side of a skyscraper, multiple stories up, eavesdropping on their conversation. Which is hilarious for many, many reasons. Mostly because it’s now no fucking wonder he and Bruce are friends when they pull the exact same snooping nonsense.

Barrows reminds Greer that he’s supposed to be avoiding him in public. What would people think if they knew they knew each other? Greer tells him to stop sputtering, he had to see him. He has to know if the senator will succeed in pushing the bill through. Barrows confirms it will, well before its full implications are realized. Before anyone knows it, the country will be embroiled with Europe!

...wait. Wait wait, this is a bill about joining the war in Europe? No, this was before World War Two started! So what, is this trying to kick off a war? Or just getting economically bogged down with Europe in general? I admit I’m not sure, but in that context, yeah, this is definitely something to be concerned about.

Greer is pleased, stating that Barrows will be financially compensated for this. Barrows rhetorically asks whether Greer is getting taken care of as well. Supermna, listening in, thinks that he definitely will - though probably not in the way either of the two are thinking.

On leaving the building, Greer is confronted by Superman, who wants to know who’s backing him. Greer tries to deny the accusations, but Supes is having none of it, grabbing him by the hand and saying they’ll see whether he’ll talk. When Greer demands he let go of his hand, Supes just grabs him by the foot instead and takes off in a huge leap.

Master of malicious complaince, Clark is.

Greer panics about electrocution as they come in for a landing on some telephone wires. Superman assures him they won’t - birds sit on wires all the time, and they aren’t fried - at least, not unless they touch a pole and are grounded! Superman then leaps over a pole with an ‘oops!’ that’s all about fucking with this man.

Again, I am very quickly realizing how this man and Bruce ‘I dangle criminals over the edge of buildings’ Wayne are besties. It’s all about the subtle death threats with those two.

Superman points out the capitol, suggesting they pay it a visit. Greer is still demanding to be put down, but Clark just wants to admire the view from the top of the White House. He then wonders out loud whether they can make the jump all the way across to the building, ignoring Greer’s increasing panic in order to do so - and apparently misses.

...and this concludes issue 1, or at least the part about Superman. The end of that last panel gives a little ‘to be continued’ note, followed up by a panel reminding readers to not miss an issue so as to keep on reading about Superman. Man, what an adventure.

Have to admit, I was genuinely surprised by some of this. Like, I knew Superman didn’t start out with the thousand and five powers he has in modern comics, but I wasn’t expecting it to be so... grounded? Kind of wild. I could easily see a lot more ways this version of him could be challenged meaningfully beyond just ‘the enemy has Kryptonite and/or magic to weaking him’ and/or ‘it’s a situation where he can’t bruce force it without things going horribly wrong.’

Likewise, orphan Supes has some kind of compelling art to it. While I definitely favor Ma and Pa Kent as a reason he grew up kind, and I also get how there’s no way the whole ‘random motorist runs into a baby in a spaceship and just takes them to an orphanage’ thing would work nowadays, it’s still interesting to consider how such a backstory would have to be adjusted to at least be plausible.

Also, I know I made a joke earlier about ‘get me photos of Superman’ but like. Oh my god, Peter Parker isn’t the neighborhood menace, fucking Superman is. Breaking and entering, eavesdropping, destruction of property; this man just cannot be stopped. Truly, an auspicious start to one of the most iconic superheroes of all time.

Can’t wait for the next issue!

#superman #action comics #dc comics

[nervous-jester]

hi. on february 6th 2023, 04.17 am, an earthquake with a magnitude of 7,8 occured in southeastern Turkey. less than 12 hours later, a second earthquake with a magnitude of 7,5 once again took place about 120 kms away from the first one (it was NOT an aftershock. 2 different faults were broken.)

AT LEAST 20 MILLION people from 10 different cities in Turkey and a good portion of northern Syria are affected. the death toll (as of february 11th, 3 am turkey time) has surpassed 20 thousand. more than 70 thousand people were injured.

world health organisation (WHO) has declared the earthquakes a "grade 3 emergency" (A single country or multiple country emergency, requiring a major/maximal WHO response. Organizational and/or external support required by the WCO is major and requires the mobilization of Organization-wide assets.)

buildings in the region are either completely destroyed or very heavily damaged. there are still people fighting for their lives under the ruins more than 100 hours since rhe first earthquake.

the expected death toll varies from 40 thousand to more than 100 thousand people. entire CITIES are DESTROYED. reduced to ground.

imagine almost all of the buildings were destroyed in paris-brussels-rotterdam-amsterdam. thats how big of an area is affected.

why am i telling this? because you can help. our people need food, housing, clothes, medicine.... anything that you can think of, we need it. please consider donating to ahbap, a non-profit organisation that has been working very hard slnce the beginning of this nightmare. they try to provide anything you can think of from temporary housing to food to clothes, help search&rescue operations, help those who are under the ruins to raise their voices....

if you are hesitant to donate to a charity you've never heard of before, you can donate to oxfam's earthquake emergency fund. oxfam is a global organisation that fights inequality to end poverty and lnjustice.

hundreds of thousands of people need any and all support they can get right now. the need for resources and money wont be over in a few weeks time, it will take us decades to treat our wounds and rebuild our homes. please dont abandon us. we need your support more than ever.

for any questions regarding the situation, how you can help, how to donate etc, do not hesitate to send an ask.

#turkey #syria #earthquake #turkey earthquake #news #latest news #emergency #god i have like 5 followers please if you see this at least help spread the word #we are living an actual nightmare right now

[orchidsea]

Mobula Birostris, the Giant Oceanic Manta Ray

They have wingspans reaching up to 29 feet (8.8 meters) in length, which makes them the largest known ray in our ocean. Not only are they the largest in the field of rays, but they have the largest brain-to-body-weight ratio of any other fish! They generally inhabit tropical and subtropical waters, but they can also be found in temperate waters! While they normally only feed around 33 feet (10 meters) below surface-level, these rays are capable of diving more than 3,280 feet (1,000 meters) into the water. This means their body can withstand more than 101atm of pressure, which is equivalent to 10,233,825(ten million two-hundred thirty-three thousand eight-hundred twenty-five) pascals*. For comparison, your average human can only withstand about 6,300 pascals. On the topic of the sturdiness of these rays, it should be mentioned they are almost completely harmless. They, while having the long tail most will associate with sting rays’ best defense mechanism, lack the barbs within said tail that cause damage. They do have an estimated 300 little teeth as well, yet these teeth are not quite sharp enough to penetrate skin. Oceanic Manta Rays are very docile, in fact! They’re intelligent creatures who will allow humans to approach if not threatened, and they will swim away in the case they do feel threatened (typically at a speed around 24 km/h); However, it’s probably not the best to pet a wild ray just because it’s more than likely friendly. They are coated in a protective mucous film, similarly to slugs and snails, that protects them from threats to their immune system. Touching them could put their health at risk, if you remove this mucous! They actually do have an oddly particular way of survival when it comes to how they process oxygen. In short terms, a manta ray cannot stop swimming without suffocating. As they swim, water is pushed over their gills from the motions of moving forward; Which means that remaining stagnant will not allow them to efficiently intake the oxygen they need to survive. Even if this way of living seems tiring, these beautiful creatures (to our knowledge) don’t sleep at all! I also want to mention their diet only consists of small organisms such as planktonic organisms, copepods, and mysids, but they can also consume smaller fish if they’re in the marker for some. This kind of diet makes them a “filter feeder”, which mainly just means they have an expert way if straining suspended matter and/or food particles from the water for consumption. Another thing I would like to mention are those little fish you will often see on not only Gigantic Oceanic Manta Rays, but other big fish like sharks and whales:

These are Remoras, eight species of suckerfish! Remoras and rays have a mutualistic relationship, meaning both species benefit from one another. Remoras get a safe ride with ample feeding opportunities, and the rays get a free spa-day that rids them of potentially harmful parasites and bacteria! These little guys have even evolved to so specifically ensure they do not cause their host to exert excess energy to carry them along, making their dynamic perfectly harmonious.

* Pascals are a unit of measurement used for the pressure or stress present. One pascal is equal to one newton of force applied across one square meter of area.

#autism posting #manta ray #manta rays #marine biology #fish #autism #infodump #oceanic manta ray #gigantic oceanic manta ray #this is messy #i just wanted to talk about the autism creature of my choosing

[cherryredmistakes]

Okay I know nobody with probably read this, but if you have the time I could really appreciate the moral support/advice on this matter. Anyways, I’ve never really talked about this before without hiding a lot about it/making it seem lighter and not a problem but here I go!

So there’s this medication called hydroxozine/vistaril and the highest dose is supposed to be 100mg and anything more is a medical overdose (or so I’ve heard) when I was in inpatient for the 2nd time in January they gave me some to help my anxiety/sleep deprivation one night

then when I went home they gave me a bottle of it (25mg each) and it was okay I would take one whenever I needed to and then I started slowly increasing how much I was taking to 2-4 which Is a fine amount! It’s only 50-100 mg. But I started taking more and more and eventually started taking 6-8 at a time (150-200mg) and

then I ran out but since I only took them once or twice a week she didn’t suspect anything since I could have up to 2 a day as needed and when I asked her if I could get bumped up to 50mg she asked how much was the most if taken at I time and I said 2 (a lie) and I started taking 3-5 a time of those (150-250mg) which I luckily didn’t “overdose” on ever because you can’t overdose from it but there is a max your supposed to not take more than, which I was. Every thing was time and I continued taking them whenever I was getting really anxious (which was often) or felt like I was about to have an outburst/having an outburst (which Is another story)

but then 2 weeks ago my mom and I were in a fight and she took away my phone and I started screaming at her about how if I couldn’t talk to one of my friends I didn’t want to live anymore and I wanted to kms, and then I locked myself in the bathroom with a bottle of hydroxozine/vistaril and took 3 (150mg) as I’ve done a million times before, and she called the cops/paramedics and I opened the door for them to the bathroom and told them about how much I took but never said that I’ve done it before. They took me to the hospital (per my moms request) in the ambulance (which sucks ass btw there not as fun as they look) and I got in to a room and they put those little stickers on me and they told me that since I took that much my heart might feel like beating a lot Or however you say it and this was when I realized That taking that much might be a bad thing. I had thought I’m the past about how I was probably taking to much and might have a problem but never really thought about it all that much.

I got sent to inpatient (for the 3rd time) and I had to leave after a week because my insurance wouldn’t cover it. But during inpatient I kept really wanting to take more of it and like craving the feeling of it? But they couldn’t legally give me more than 100mg and would only give me 50mg every 8 hours. I started thinking about asking for one in the morning and then not taking it and 8 hours later do the same, and then another 8 hours later take all of them. I never ended up doing this because my friends there talked me out of it, but on my last day there (or second to last) in group therapy I talked about how much I was taking “to sleep” and the therapist telling me it was an overdose and was like shocked I was taking that much. I didn’t tell them about how often I was doing it or that I liked the feeling or that I was craving it, just that I would take a few to many to help me sleep on occasion.

When I got home I had a hard time and almost ran away from the restaurant we were at because I was having a really hard time (why run away? I have no idea) but I didn’t. When I got home I got I’m a fight, or more of had an outburst because she said I had to give my phone to her at 10pm and she’s caused me trauma by neglecting me in the past so I have a hard time letting her parent me/giving her control. When I calmed down a bit I went to get hydroxozine (which I was waiting for and not exited but something like that I guess) and she locked it up! I know that’s the right thing to do but I started *screaming* at her to give the bottle to me, and then for “just a few” and she threatened to flush them (btw I have a really hard time when I’m having outburst and I don’t remember a lot of it/the timeline of everything it all kind of blurs together so this might be a little off from how it happened (sorry)). But she said she would give me one and when she opened the med box I tried to take the bottle, but since I’m not Strom and have barley any muscle (due to anorexia) she took it and then said she was going on a walk.

That was basically it. But I really want to “overdose” on it again and take more than 100mg and I don’t know what to do and if this is normal or even what it is or what you would call it? She’s been leaving 1 out every night in case I need it and I’ve been taking them and hiding them in my room saving up in case it need them because I don’t want to waste them as much as I’m craving it

I don’t know what to do and I don’t want to talk to anyone (not on tumblr) about this

#mental illness #girlblogging #girl blogger #girlblogger #help i’m so tired #mood disorder #mood swings #depression #anxitey #hydroxyzine #vistaril #substance abuse? #prescription meds #help #advice?

[loser-female]

Something about fear because I'm bored at work.

Well.

[commentary removed, but here is the thing: I understand being afraid but I wouldn't recommend not doing things because you're scared.]

Let me tell you a story.

I grew up looking at races - F1 was the only sport consistently watched at our house, and I'd always said that the first thing I'd do once I hit 18 is to get my driving license. Because well, I know cars.

Well I did get it. It was very difficult.

I found out I was extremely anxious around driving. I was afraid of myself, others, my dad's car (although he wouldn't have cared if I scratched it or something), of getting distracted...

I pass both my tests at the first attempt regardless.

Anyway, I stopped driving for the most part. I drove only with other people, only during the day, only when there was no traffic, when I could find easy parking...

On a yearly basis, according to the WHO, 1.19 millions of people die in a car accident. Between 20 and 50 million people suffer from life changing injuries after an accident. Sure, most of these are in a low income country, but even if I look at my country statistics it's not any different. (I don't want to give away where I live, so I cite the WHO). Distraction is a huge cause of accidents in a western countries. Being afraid of car accidents is rational, it's not a remote possibility like an alien kidnapping or something. Moreover, what really impacted me is that I was more afraid of others than of me making a mistake.

Years pass - I live near a big city where we have a good transportation system and my life impact was limited.

Then I got a job in a factory at 30 km from my house. It was... Not good. No one could drive me - my dad was still working.

So I decided to drive on the Sunday before to the factory with my boyfriend to figure out the route. It was awful but doable.

It was either now I drive alone or I lose the income. And I didn't want to lose the income, I left university and it was right after COVID I think, it's not like I had many other options.

I take it easy, I go out half an hour before I am supposed to go (I'm always one hour earlier or fifteen minutes late), but I discovered that I can do it. When my shift is over I wait for everyone to go first so I won't be in the traffic.

I bought myself a car - a really nice one and a special edition with 15.000km for 7.5k€ . A steal. The car is perfect btw.

Now that I moved to redneck land due to the cost of living in the city I really appreciate that I won my fear. I would be literally stuck at home if I didn't.

I'm still a very careful driver and I avoid driving because I just hate it so much. Hell I even work from home because of it.

But I'm not scared anymore. I drive on highways on the regular.

Moral of the story: do it scared.

#for the illiterate: this is about not being stopped by rational fears #and to give them space but not allow them to eat up your whole life

[kolgold]

"KALAMMAWADI DAM: Experience the best of Kolhapur"

The Kalammawadi Dam is one of the biggest dams located in the beautiful district of Kolhapur. Built on the Dudhaganga river near Radhanagari Taluka, the Kalammawadi Dam is bestowed with nature’s blessings through its beautiful landscape. The backdrop of this dam is a total feast to one’s eyes. The beauty of this great dam might leave you mesmerized.

HISTORY OF THE DAM:

The ownership of the dam lies in the hands of the Government of Maharashtra. The dam was constructed between 1983-1999. The Kalammawadi Dam was inaugurated by the late Prime Minister of India, Indira Gandhi. The length of the dam is 4200 feet while the height of the dam above the lowest foundation level is 240 feet. It is surrounded by a thick forest cover. The name of the dam is placed after the goddess Kalamma Devi whom the people worship as their deity.

SIGNIFICANCE OF THE DAM:

The Kalammawadi Dam has its importance in many ways. It is selected as an important Hydropower station. It is also utilized for irrigation purposes to boost the production of crops. Many villages on the bank of the Dudhaganga river use the dam water for domestic purposes also. The dam also helps in fighting droughts and controlling floods. The Kalammawadi Dam is also home to Indian Gaur, the endangered bison. With a water storage capacity of 28 thousand million cubic meters, the ambiance around the dam is completely rich in its diverseness.

HOW TO REACH:

The Kalammawadi Dam is very well connected by roads, air, and railways that can help you reach this beautiful place of beauty and royalty. The best time to visit this place is within the monsoon months of July to September when the dam is in its maximum flow. The most effective timing from 10 AM to 6 PM. Visitors ideally spend half an hour visiting Kalammawadi Dam.

By Air - The dam is best accessible from Kolhapur district and one can reach there by a flight and the dam is just 62kms away from the airport.

By Train - The nearest railway station is the Kolhapur railway station. It is approximately 56 km away from this place.

By Road - The dam is near major highways. And thus you can also come here through your cab or any of the booked private cab services. It is around 59 km by bus route.

THINGS TO DO:

The city is dotted with some sightseeing places like Shri Mahalakshmi Temple, also known as the “Dakshin Kashi”. A must-visit tourist attraction in this city is the New Palace Museum which offers the visitors a combination of Hindu and Jain influence in its architecture. The bungee jumping experience has also been set up amidst the stunning Kolhapur landscape.

CONCLUSION:

Every nature lover must undoubtedly visit this place at least once. Being situated in Kolhapur, it attracts the tourists' eye. Travel enthusiasts living near Kolhapur usually make a single-day trip to have a fun-filled, enriching, and joyful experience of the Kalammawadi Dam.

#Kalammawadi Dam #Kolhapur #Kolgold

[educationalinstitutesindia]

Seven Tourist Places In Bangalore Worth Visiting

Bengaluru (also called Bangalore), India’s Silicon Valley, is the capital of Karnataka and is known for its parks and nightlife. If you are visiting Bangalore on business, extend your stay and if you are an expatriate, having recently moved to this city, mark your diary with the following tourist places in and near Bangalore that are a must-visit. 1. Bangalore Palace The Majestic Bangalore Palace, reflecting Tudor and Scottish Gothic architecture holds testimony to the heritage and beauty of an era gone by. This regal palace was built in 1878 and spreads across 45,000 square feet. The carvings on the walls in the interior and exterior of the beautiful wooden structure showcase tales of the extraordinary royal culture. The opulent ballroom, mesmerizing Darbar hall, innumerable exotic paintings, and even the granite seats encrusted with blue ceramic tiles on the ground floor, and vine-covered walls, transport you to the elegant splendor of the powerful dynasties of South India. Audio tapes in Hindi and English are available to understand its history. 2. Bannerghatta National Park Located 22 km away from the city-centre, Bannerghatta National Park is an asylum for a large variety of flora and fauna. Sprawling over 104.27 sq. km, this park includes the country's first butterfly park, an aquarium, a zoo, Children's Park, Crocodile Farm, Snake Park, Prehistoric Animals' Park, and a museum. You can spot elephants, leopards, jackals, foxes, wild boar, sloth bears, Indian gazelle, spotted deer, porcupine, cobras, Asiatic Lion and the Royal Bengal Tiger while doing the safari. There are several resorts in Bangalore, but if you are staying at the amazing Discovery Village, be assured that they will organize your local tours, bird watching, nature trails, and jungle safaris. 3. Lal Bagh Botanical Garden Renowned for its botanical artwork, this garden is a haven for nature lovers and a must-visit for all tourists. Lal Bagh sprawls across 240 acres in the heart of the city and has nearly 1,854 species of plants including rare species of French, Persian and Afghani origin. The Lal Bagh Rock which is over 3000 million years old is found here and is a major tourist attraction. The garden also houses a number of birds such as Myna, Parakeets, Crows, Brahminy Kite, Pond Heron, Common Egret and Purple Moor Hen. Source: Goibibo 4. Cubbon Park Cubbon Park is 300 acres of dense green bliss, housing more than 6,000 trees and an ideal place for nature lovers and picnickers. In addition to being the perfect place to veg out, you can also visit some of the major structures of the city such as the Attara Kacheri, Cubbon Park Museum, Sheshadri Iyer Memorial Park, and the Bangalore Aquarium, the second-largest aquarium in India here. Source: kerosene.digital 5. Vidhana Soudha Described by Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru as 'a temple dedicated to the nation', Vidhana Soudha stands 150 feet tall and boasts of an elegant and truly exquisite Neo-Dravidian style of architecture. It houses the State Legislature and the Secretariat of Karnataka and is one of the most popular attractions in the lively and colorful city of Bengaluru. It prides itself on being the largest state legislative building in the country sporting four entrances in all four directions and four floors above the ground level and one below it. It is counted as one of the most magnificent buildings in the city impressing and intimidating the beholder. 6. ISKCON Temple Located in Rajajinagar, ISKCON Temple is a revered shrine dedicated to Lord Krishna. Apart from a religious shrine, ISKCON temple is a cultural complex known for its activities of engagement involving ardent devotees of Lord Krishna, where the temple community organizes songs, recitals, lectures and prayer services. A must visit for the spiritually initiated. Source: Goibibo 7. MG Road One of the busiest roads in Bengaluru, MG Road is always abuzz with recreational and commercial activities and is a one-stop destination for shopping or hanging out. Whether you’re looking for traditional handicrafts, silk saris, cutlery, bone china sets, jewelry, clothes, or books, you can find it all here. Church Street which runs parallel to this road is a foodie’s paradise, with a plethora of restaurants and cafes offering varied cuisines. MG Road is a must-visit when you're in the city, where you can shop by day and party by night, dancing till you drop in any of the high-end pubs in and around this street. These and many more such attractions make Bangalore a coveted holiday destination. So next time you’re in the city, go ahead and mix business with pleasure, you won’t regret it. Read the full article

[lightadarttomendyourheart]

never in a million years would i have thought i would have be returning home from my london trip with a bf. a long distance bf at that. honestly when i think about those relationships, they rarely work IMO. i know a lot do, but i never imagined myself in one, let alone with someone 7125 km away.

but when you said it, ignoring the fact i was drunk af, i couldn't believe my ears. and there is nothing i wanted more. the disbelief was immense. you. want to be with me. no matter how far away i am. no matter how often we get to see each other. you choose me.

i'm still wrapping my head around it. seriously i don't think it's sunk in yet. it's starting to, but not fully. even when you say things like you miss me and cuddling and that your parents love me and when i mentioned coming for xmas you lighting up like a christmas tree. idk why it's so hard for me to come to terms with. that you want me. truly. i guess i kind of think it's too good to be true. i've been obsessed with you for 4 years and we go on this amazing trip together finally and have the absolute best time, and then you literally are like ok let's fucking do this. when does this ever happen. this is movie kind of shit guys. this shit doesn't happen in the real world. not normally at least. and never to me.

i used to fantasize about something like this happening to me all the time when i was a kid. i feel like i'm dreaming. like this isn't real life.

i still am playing everything in my head over and over. like, you want to be with me no matter the distance. what the fuck. you've been single for SO long and i'm the one you're choosing to settle down with (potentially). you trust me. and i really do trust you. but the amount of trust you have in me seriously is just.. fuck. telling you about everything and i feel like the copious amounts of guys in my life and you're like nah i just wanna know the situation but i trust you completely i'm not worried about that. like ???? where the fuck did you come from. how did you get so healthy. how do you just make me feel so comfortable with myself, all the time. it's so overwhelming. not in a bad way. just.. makes me feel like there's a catch. and i know there's not. i think the catch is one of us has to move. that we're literally oceans apart. and we have to navigate that.

i've never met anyone like you. i've maybe never felt more myself with anyone i've ever been with. we talk and we laugh and we kiss and we discuss. we definitely don't agree on everything, but that's ok. i don't want to agree on everything. but we agree on the important shit. and we both love the same music. god it just comes so easy with you. how is it so easy. i felt like i had to work so hard with jake to have common ground. and with you, we don't just have common ground, we have common fields and valleys and everything in between. i don't even care if we like the same movies or shows because all i want to do is sit with you snuggled up in bed and talk for hours and hours about everything.

it's no wonder we never strayed from each other. thinking about the last 4 years, meeting on that boat transfer to albania. ever since then i knew there was something about you. something more. being so excited every single event cause you'd be there. that i'd get to see you. i never in a MILLION years fathomed we'd ever date, because duh, you live in england and i live in canada. i was always so sure we'd be a "what if" for so long.. even after our trip, i never imagined this.

we were legit meant to be. like.. in the most purest sense. and i am so fricken happy it happened this way and now, because i know i wouldn't have been ready for this years ago. i wouldn't have been able to fully commit myself to you long distance. i'd always be wondering what else is out there and likely insecure about you being so far away. this happened exactly when it was supposed to.

you know the theory of people who are meant to meet/be together are attached with invisible strings..

"An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle but will never break."

We were destined to meet. And now, this year, (which again, THIS IS MY FUCKING YEAR I FUCKING TOLD Y'ALL), we're finally together.

#personal