#and im tired of seeing this guy stare at me from my files
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I'm so obsessed with this scene it isn't even funny
#Tron#Clu 2.0#I will finish this one day but I don't have time right now :(#I wanted to make it so funky but no time to experiement#and im tired of seeing this guy stare at me from my files#so he's being released for now#my art#sketch
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didn’t do last week’s but here it is: TOWL EPISODE 5 SPOILERS BELOW!!!!!!!!!!!! ❤️🔥
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ANOTHER LEGENDARY EPISODE FOR THE TWD HISTORY BOOKS. can we get a round of applause please? 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 yes. great. perfect.
you already know what i’m about to scream about. THE RICHONNE PROPOSAL™️ HELLODHSJDHSKBDJSHSHSSBSBSJEISNS DID I NOT PREDICT IT YES OR NO. YES I DID!!!!! THE RING 😭😭😭 HIS SPEECH 😭😭😭 HIM GETTING ON ONE KNEE AND THEN SHE GETS ON HER KNEES TOO?!?1?2!$:)!/!:/& HER RESPONSE TOO?! SEDATE ME THIS IS ALL I’VE EVER WANTED. imagine thinking we haven’t won the damn lottery with this ship it’s neverrrr over for us i love them i love them so much they’re going home next episode, and we’re going to see the ring on her finger WATCH THIS SPACE ❤️🩹❤️🩹🥺😁
not even five minutes into the episode and i was being ambushed with both admiration and TORTUROUS PAIN. the cute little callback to 7x12 of them just being on the road, scavenging, surviving, and loving on each other was sooooo cute. rick kissing the back of mich’s hand. DOES THIS SHOW WANT ME TO DO SOMETHING VERY CATASTROPHIC BC I WILL.
BOOM. immediate anguish right after their cutie scene because what does rick do? OH RIGHT HE PULLS OUT THE PHONE OF CARL’S DRAWING AND STARES AT IT SOLEMNLY. CATASTROPHIC THOUGHTS ARE FORMING EXPONENTIALLY LITTLE TUMBLR PEOLLE 😭😭😭❤️🩹❤️🩹😔😔😔😔 i can’t do this anymore no more please. i cried so hard last episode i’m tired brother
that brief scene of rick wanting to bring a gift home for rj. that’s his baby. michonne saying that he’s the brave man, and that just him coming home to them was enough. i need like three days to process this episode it was SOOOOO SOFT
“tasteful noods?” they’re idiots but they’re my idiots. i am also an idiot because just before she said that, i paused the show and read the truck and laughed out loud at the brand. i swear we’re so tethered. michonne and trips, sisters in another universe <3
im not going to sugarcoat anything. idgaf about jadis’s death. in fact, i am celebrating!!!!! will byers is NO MÁS good damn riddance.
ALSO HELLO GABRIEL? i was quite comforted to see a member of the group. those random meetups with haircut were interesting to say the least, especially the kiss because ummm was he not still dating rosita? idk idc i can’t keep up with the timelines anymore it’s not that serious unless it’s rick and michonne
also thank you GABRIEL for the wedding ring, and thanks jadis for giving it to rick. haircut was good for something in the end i guess. doesn’t matter what her ending was, i didn’t feel any reconciliation or compassion. she’s still a piece of shit who stole a great portion of rick’s life from himself and his entire family. burn in the hottest depths of hell. xo!
WAS THAT A PAINTING OF GLENN IN JADIS’S FLASHBACK? IF SO HOW AND WHY IM GENUINELY CONFUSED SOMEONE PLEASE REPLY OR DM ME ASAP
the callback to 6x10?!?!?? spearmint and baking soda?!?! I WAS IN LOVE WITH MY SONS BEST FRIEND!!!!!!!???????? danai and andy took the little richonne file in my brain and STUDIED it to make sure that they filmed every scene that i’ve ever wanted to happen to them. no source just trust me they did it
RICK GIVING MICH A BRAND NEW “M” NECKLACE OHHHHH 😔😔🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹 THEYRE SO LOVEBUG. LIKE WOAH OKAY TROY AND GABRIELLA 🥺🥺🥺🥺😭❤️🩹 she deserves it so much! and then their kiss inside of the cabin afterwards, and them falling back onto the bed urgsjdvajdbabbs cutie pies!!!!!!!!!!!
every jadis scene pissed me off, so I won’t go into detail too much. you guys know how much i hate her. anyway, michonne using the axe to slice jadis like a cold cut… mother. love her. ALSO her rage when speaking about haircut too, yeah that was the perfect amount of dialogue that i wanted to see from her. her stealing rick’s time of seeing rj’s birth, first steps, etc. UGH. so excellent, you could feel her burning anger in her voice.
all of these callbacks throughout the episode but the best, most important and evident one was the mere fact that they’re a team again. kicking ass, and simply leading each other because that’s what they’re the best at. before any of their romance began, they were trusted confidants who worked so well side by side, and in this episode we got to see and feel the satisfaction and elation of having that back again!!!!!
i felt like i was at a drive thru restaurant ordering the entire episode. can i get some flirting, with a side of ass kicking, and ummm let me get a side of poetic, confessional yearning from rick grimes. yeah, that’ll be all.
rick telling gabriel that he wanted to marry michonne on the bridge. 🥺……. 😡 AND THEN EVERYTHING GOES TO SHIT AFTERWARDS. IMAGINE THE WORLD IF JADIS NEVER KIDNAPPED HIM. THEY WOULD HAVE FOUND HIM EVENTUALLY LIKE HE WAS RIGHT UP THE STREET?? oof — i cannot. we waited so long to hear this admirable dialogue but at what cost. it’s so sad, but at least we’re here now as michonne would say!!!!!
okay. ❤️🩹 there’s still so much to unpack but that’s enough out of me for the moment. brain’s still scrambled eggs. last but not least, michonne grimes is the hottest character ever. THE BOXERS?! she looked fucking amazing in every single outfit. if i were rick, i’d be kissing every inch of her neck too HELLO
don’t forget to stream the ones who live episode FIVE 5️⃣ on amc+ and don’t forget to watch it tonight on amc’s channel at 9pm!!!! ❤️🔥 so stoked for episode 6. it’s going to be the best one ever. it’s so hard to rank them at this point and i don’t want to either. every episode is better than the last! REAL TELEVISION IS BACK. 🫶🏼❤️🔥
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Treat you better
°·。𑁍。·°᪥°·。𑁍。·°᪥°·。𑁍。·°
Andy Reed x F!Reader x Lee Yau
In where (Y/N) found out that all the dates she's been having with Andy was just a one sided love, And it was to also to waste his Mourn over his rejection he got from Elly.
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(Y/n)'s POV
It has been a great while since I started seeing Andy, I've been busy with alot of work in the Mansion taking care of my Chickens, The weeds, The decorations and even at night I have to slaughter every single monnster that was lurking through our town. It makes me tired yes, But a date with Andy always makes me feel better! So Today, I invited Andy to walk around the Town's Peak at 7:30 tonight it's currently 6:50pm
As I was about to walk past the hospital I always see throughout everyday, I bumped into someone causing their files to scatter.
“Couldn't you get even clumsier?”
The Familar voice of Yau was heard, I sheepishly put a hand in my neck.
“Sorry Lee Yau, I was quite lost in my thoughts. Here let me help you!”
I said, I heard him sigh as we proceed to take all the papers before soem of them can fly away and giving it back to him.
“I- What are you even doing here out late?”
I turn to stare at Lee Yau for a moment, Despite the constant hang out we have here and there his turning out to be nicer than I thought, but his concerns are rarely there.
“Oh, I- uhm-”
Before I could even process to talk, Another Familiar Voice called out but it wasn't me.
I quickly walk around Lee Yau, at the sight of the Town Square into view I didn't know Lee Yau was behind me.
“Ugh- Hey! Wait! Where are you going?”
I didn't even want to reply to his words, As I saw Andy and Elly standing there.
“Why is everyone out late-”
I put a hand over his mouth and quickly hide in the bushes dragging him over, As we are neared, I heard it.
Lee Yau's POV
I was dragged into this not because im worried for (Y/N) but because im worried that she's gonna spend all her money into the hospital for exhausting herself so much to the point she's a regular now.
But right now, I don't know why we are here listening to this conversation.
“Elly, I like you”
Andy's voiced ringed in my ear, I turn to look at her, but her eyes are widening and it gloss with tears.
What?
“El, I like you for the longest time. Im always greatful whenever you pass by my Bar to gift me desserts, im always thankful for being your bestfriend but im selfish to ask us to be more..”
As every word Andy had said to Elly, my eyes were scanning through (Y/n)'s expression. Tears spilling through her cheeks, her hands holding onto the quite sobs she's having. I was about to atleast give her something to wipe her tears off, when we heard Elly talking
“Andy.. How many times had you confess?Are you drunk again? I thought you gave up after dating with (Y/n)? You know how many times you would confess and turn down I could take because before Ella likes you, (Y/n) was there to admire you even we we're kids before her parents left. It was a great opportunity as you two we're the closest people this year after she canceled going to the city.”
“But Elly, the one I had been admiring is you! Everytime I go on a day with (Y/n) it felt like im having you with me”
And that was it, (Y/N) stood up to look at Andy as I stand up beside her looking at Elly.
“You.. Andy you drunken idiot!”
(Y/n) yelled before running down town, I reach out to grab her arm but she has gotten strong as she swiped my hand away with force. I turn to Elly who looked in sorrow, I look at Andy to finally notice that he was standing there looking where (Y/n) has dashed away to.
“Honestly, What's your Problem?”
I started.
“L-Lee Yau..”
Elly was holding both of her hands up to try and calm me down, But no I pushed the files I've been holding to for the last minutes and walk to Andy.
“Can't you see (Y/n) genuinely likes you? Don't you know how many guys had been taking an admirable look to her? Do you know how fucking lucky you are to have her!?”
Andy can only look down, He may look mature and tough but whenever his drunk his reckless. That's one thing for sure.
“Lee Yau, That's enough”
Elly middled, Holding to my arm.
“Elly, What is there to be enough of? Is (Y/n) not enough for him?”
I asked Elly, But I was looking at Andy.
“Listen, Yau I like her as a sister. I've been since we've been friends again”
“If it's a sister you see in her, Then a sister she should be to you. For someone who look mature, I thought your responsible enough.”
I turn around before dashing to the direction where (Y/n) left on to, Hoping its the right place as it's getting late.
3rd POV
Elly was about to call out to Lee Yau, as he had dashed leaving his files to her before looking at Andy with softened expression. She walks to Andy and patting his arm.
“Andy, Is (Y/n) just a sister to you?”
She asked, Andy looked at her before Elly sighed and walk past him.
“Its thought you should think of, Lee Yau is right. Your lucky to have her. I'll be going home, have a great evening.”
As Elly was about to walk away, Andy turn to ask her.
“How long had you known she liked me?”
Elly glanced at him before sighing.
“We we're all kids at the time when she lost her parents, Leaving her in the mayor's care. I guess it was the times she actually look at you, at times you were the only one who could talk her out other than the mayor despite her family's closure with the Lee's ”
And that thought, Had leave Andy's head to a million thoughts while watching Elly get to her house.
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Now, Lee Yau could be wrong but your favorite ppace was always the beach. He remembered your father finding you passed out in the beach and taking you to the hospital to treat your exhausted figure by his father.
As he neared the beach, A large beetle had block his way of view. Indeed he knew of the monsters that likes to lurk in the dark but HE DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS THIS BIG!
Before he or the beetle could react, A hand took grab of him and the other had took out a sword out and slaughtered the beetle.
“That's the last one..”
Lee Yau saw her familiar hair waving around the windy night, the color of her hair brightining the view waving like the ocean. She turn around to look at Lee Yau.
“What are you doing here Yau?”
Lee Yau dusted off his clothes and reposition himself.
"I-"
He actually didn't know, But for the fact that his heart beat is throbbing ever since (Y/N)'s frequent visit to him or to the hospital, His mind dizzy from the thoughts of her but Why did he really follow her here?
"Im afraid you'd do something reckless in the late night."
He said that like he wasn't overthinking things, His a pretty great lier. But why won't his idiotic heart stop beating so fast?! Is this even normal for human beings?
"You shouldn't. "
"Huh?"
That, His feelings, His mind, His heart stopped for a moment as it ache.
"I can take care of myself just fine, ok?!"
Why? Can't this idiot clumsy girl see his just looking out for her?
"Im just looking out for you, How stubborn can you-!"
A sob stopped his sentence, He stared closely to his once best friend before her parents died. It has been a while since he had seen her cry.
Lee Yau had matured early in his days of dreaming to be his Father, To continue his family business.
But it wasn't a great tragedy to lose one of the people he looks up to. (Father/Name) had teach him alot of things mostly on his days of living, the day of the Fire, The day both of the Adults of the only Mansion Manor in Harvest Town, Died in that tragedy. Leaving their only child alone in the dark as the funeral proceeds.
Everyone gave their greets aand condolences, But they would stare at the young girl who carried nothing but a sorrowed expression.
The LeeFamily had went to give their condolence to the quite girl, But she only stared at them. Lee Wah and his wife can only stare at one another before shaking their heads as they tried to push Yau in her view.
"Why don't you accompany (Y/N) for a while?" Lee Wah said to his eldest son, His son holding a book stared at his father and sighed obliged to his quest.
As he watched his parents go with his brother, He stared at the girl infront of her. She's nothing like the girl he'd seen running around the town getting herself in trouble.
"You seem quite."
".."
"Don't you have a tounge to even reply?"
".."
They stared at one another as the girl sighed continued to stare at the ground, Lee Yau had one thought in his head.
'This girl is really helpless'
Thought, His mind still wondered off, Back to (F/N) as he watched he and his father talked about everything and anything, But the most (F/N) reflect was his Daughter. Her energy. His plans to make her future brighter.
But what he left was nothing what he had said oe what he had seen.
"(Y/N), Have some milk."
Lee Yau's thoughts we're cut off as he stared at his friend, Andy.
(Y/N) can only stared at Andy like how he stared at the Lee's.
'Im telling you she's helpless-'
"There you go-! Feeling a little bit better?"
Lee Yau blinked as the (h/c)-ed nodded her head slowly as a small smile makes its way to her face, an unusual fewling came to his stomach as he saw her smile. It was either his happy to actually see her smile or the fact that smile wasn't for him.
For years she watched her grown into a fine lady, Even with the lost of her parents, he watched her grow and grow hard to work only to leave the town..Leave everyone and leave him.
But one day, She shredded those letters of scholarship and started to retrive what her parents had left. She come and go from the mountains, from the edge of the town, the cave and honestly go everywhere to do a living. To receive money from the town people, And to start a new life.
Lee Yau can only sighed as he walked towards the (h/c)-ed girl taking her face to look into his, only to stare at her tears.
"You shouldn't be crying too much. If you're father had seen this day, I would bet he'd make a large issue from your single tear."
Lee Yau gently but also swiftly wipe a tear out of her cheek and smiled at her, (Y/N)'s eyes sparked as Yau kissed her forehead.
"There's nothing to cry, Now that your here and well. If one doesn't deserve you, Then why wouldn't you give it to the other?"
(Y/N)'s PoV
W-wait what?!
Don't tell me-
"It's crazy to think that I liked you for years."
Lee Yau..
"I watched you come and go, and the only thoughts was to smile at him."
He had been thinking that, Did he?
"I would have treat you better, than he did."
..But he was mean-
"I know I had been harshed with my words, But I hope you'd give me a chance to stand right beside you."
Maybe..
"I'll treat you better."
I smile up at him as he stared down at me, I hugged him nodding.
"I'd like to give you a chance, Yau."
I felt him hugged me back, My smile was over the hills as he spinned me around, The wind following by as I giggled.
"Now, Take a rest from killing of huge beetles before you end up being a regular in my family hospital."
I laughed that off, He followed by as he guided me to sit down beside him at the edge of the sand near the waters.
He pulled me close, As I put my head in his shoulder.
"So mr grumpy had been there for years?"
I teased him as he flinched, He turned his head as I stared up at him, giving me a soft glare and with a roll of an eye he scoffed with a smile.
"Yeah yeah you win now"
The night end with only the two of us, A nice late night moment with Lee Yau.
He did promise to treat me better.
ACK IM SCREAMING- THIS TOOK ME TWO DAYS IF I HAD CONTINUED FROM THE VERY START BUT IF NOT IT ACTUALLY TOOK ME TO BE BACK HERE FOR LIKE 2 MONTHS?! PAK SHET THIS😭
Anyways Hope you enjoy-!
Im for sure making more Harvest Town x Reader because I love Andy. And for sure Lee Yau. Also because I can't mary Andy in the game 👺
There will be a part two lmaoooo
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PART 10 (FINALE) OF MY CABLOON ANALYSIS! GO TO MY #CABLOON-ANALYSIS TAG TO FIND THE FIRST POST!
(I’m gonna make it easier to access the older ones, I’ll make a master post, then I’ll make it so you can check the next part by a link so you don’t manually tire yourself, give me some time cause I need a mental break from my shutdown 😭‼️)
Literally one of the most precious moments I’ve screen recorded in my whole life, the way he’s sitting beside her, laughing just like her, writing in her files, both of them equally sharing the same annoyed stare at silver spoon (Which is something a lot more common than I thought it was)
THIS.
This is just.. *wipes away tear*
Too perfect..
I wonder what happens to Mephone..? (Good lord I am still traumatized till this
Now expect MANY MANY MANY random screenshots of my babies togethr
STOP HOW BALLOON EXCITEDLY INFODUMPS WITH CABBY JANSHEHSHQJJEDHHJWWJ
They’re autistics in love I tell you
LOOK AT HOW HE’S TOUCHING HER AHHH (please don’t thkae that out of context omfg—)
I have a feeling that she was slightly uncomfortable here (sTOP PROJECTING YOURSELF ONTO CABBY PEBIE!! STOP!!)
Its canon guys he was trying to impress her here too
Why else would he give her that smug ass look?!/vpos
Then he sees uninterested cabby and gets sad :(
stop guys it’s actually so sad
The way she got excited when she said that was SO SASAADDDDD
SHES SO STRESSED OMG I FEEL YOU GIRL AAHHHHHH
AHAHGSGAHHSHHEHGWG😭😭‼️‼️
I CANTT THE POOR GIRL IS HORRIFIED
Unsure if she was looking at Mephone or Balloon, but I guess they’re beside each other here, so uh excuse me lol
STOP
STOOOOPPP
THEYRE IN SYNC YALL
LOOOOOOOOK!!! HANDS ON HIPS, SAME FUCKING FACE TWICE, AND IN THE SAME SCENE TOO OMFG
CABBY AND BALLOON RAISE ONE HAND AUTISTICALLY, AND THE OTHER LIKE SILVER SPOON, FROM. THE. SAME. SIDE. AND LITERALLY HAVE A SIMILAR FACE!! I-I CANT BELIEVE HOW MUCH THEYRE ACTING LIKE EACH OTHER WITHOUT EVEN NOTICING IT IM FUCKING EVAPORATING AND EXPLODING… EXVAPORATING!!!
THATS LIKE.. 3 SYNCED POSES + EMOTIONS IN ONE SCENE IM GONNA CRY
GRRRRRR HOW COULD YOU SHAKE MY BOY LIKE THAT!!
ALSO. WHO THE FUCK DARES CALL MY BABIES INSECTS.. LOOK WHO THE FUCK CAME FROM THE DEPTHS OF EARTH ITSELF LOOKING LIKE ONE!!/silly /nsrs /omfgdontkillmeafterthisplease—
Erm actually… Cabby and Balloon are definitely engaging after this. Real. And uh she has AWESOME YINYANG, AAAAND BOT!! Balloom has an awkwardly clingy and.. well.. pathetic friend aswell, but hey! Even they have something to leave with! Look at silver spoon..
He doesn’t have candle on his side anymore
Btw.. look at this: You see how Balloon is holding his arm and looking at cabby?
Do you think he, well… wants to hold her hand?
LIKE— NO SERIOUSLY LOOK
STOOOPP AAAHHH MY HEART
YOU CANT TELL ME THAT HE ISNT WORRIED ABOUT CREEPING HER OUT IF HE HELD HER HAND
(Uh wow maybe me projecting myself up there could make sense— OH MY GOD IM GETTING SO MUCH HEADCANONS IM HAVING A HEADACHE YEEEOWWCH)
It’s either (Read this well cause it might confuse you the first time you read it)
He wants comfort from her
Or
He wants to comfort her
Or
This is all accidentally lining up too well
Or
I’m just delusional and this isn’t even lining up at all
WOOOOAAAAAHHH!! EPIC BATTLE SCENE IN REEAAALL LIIIFFFEEEEE?££\#+@}+++}={==£[&$]^)-][.
(Just distract yourself Pebie, ignore how AE made an evil alter of silver spoon aswell.. calm DOWN)
STOOOOOPPPP!! WE GET IT!! THEYRE SOULMATES!! H.. HOW DO THESE TWO HAVE SO MUCH SIMILAR MOMENTS LIKE THIS OMFG/vvvvvvpos
My babies are sticking together OMFG I’m actually exvaporting
STICK TOGETHER BABIES!! YOULL GET OUT OF THIS ALIVE!!! HH.HOPEFYKLU
IMANNAHAHWGSBHDJDJAKAKKSNDJD
IM SHAKKIIJHHHHH OKDMDHAHBBAHHHWHGGDGGDAAAAAA
WEEEE SHE SAID WE
SHE SAID WE OMFGGFGAFFSFVS
THE WAY SHE SAVED HIM IN CLUCTH IM FGGISNNG
IM GONNA.CRUY. IM SUBHIAJJJJSJ
LISTEN UP WALKIE TALKIE. YOU DONT DRAE THREATEN CABBY’S FUTURE HUSBAND AND GET AWAY WITH IT GRRRRRRYEHAHWJSJ
But let’s be fr, As much as I love Mephone and his silly shenanigans, this literally affected me the same way it did for them, just.. look at their faces man :(
NOOO NOOO!! STOP STOP STOOOP I DIDNT AGREE TO THIS!1 DONT HURT THEM!! PLLEEEAAAAASSSSEEEEEE 😭😭😭‼️‼️‼️ IM LITERALLY SHIVERING FOR THEM OMFG MY BABIES
I SWEAR IF YOU LAY A FINGER ON ANY OF THEM ILL FUCKING—
Deep betreath… breeaathehees… I’m not ANGRY. nooo wayhhhy. ,.,,uhm..—
HEY AE.. DO THEY MAKE IT SO THEY ALL LIKE MEPHONE IN THE END?? CAUSE LIKE.. It would be so awesome, it would be so cool—
Yeah WHOOOOH!! I took yesterday night, from 8/9pm to 11pm, STYAED UP ALL NIGHT CAUSE I COULDNT SLEEP FROM THESE TWO, stayed up until like.. 10am, fell asleep, woke up at 2:40pm and BAM! FINSIHED AFTER A DAY!! YIPPIEROONIES!!! (Edit: Two days, since I had to leave, came back at 9:50pm, finished at 11pm cause bedtime lockdown, then woke up at 10am today and started to do it again, so I technically finished at 2pm today)
I have a feeling that someone reading this started liking the ship, or felt curious about their rare pair interaction (if they had any/lh), but either way, I’ll tell you how THIS rare pair even EXSISTED.
(THE LORE OF WHY I EVEN SHIPPED CABLOON)
Let’s start from the beginning. In some of the episodes, before I knew I kin cabby, I always had a little fascination towards balloon, his issues living with him for so long and how he still struggles to make a good image of himself was just. Cute to me (stop I KNOW you simp for objects too.. DONT DENY IT!!)
And at episode 17, after I found out I kin cabby, I started to like their interactions more, and since this ship was a HEAVY SELF INSERT, It somehow made sense.
They both struggled to gain a good image, they both had a toxic friendship in the past that got resolved, they both have TOO MUCH ISSUES, and they both act like each other so much it’s actually wild
None of us EVER cared to really analyze hidden relationships in the show, and this is actually a good example, if I never simped for balloon like the ‘loon’atic I am
*knee slap*
I would’ve NEVER noticed their cute feelings for each other
As much as I wanna continue talking, I feel like this ramble will never end, so I give you a cabloon doodle!
And I bid you farewell *bows dramatically*
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CALL OUT MY NAME
On the day he got married, Aaron Hotchner had swear to protect his wife from all the bad things. But what can he do when it’s something out of his control ?
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Hi guys !
Another soft shot just for ye, I’ve originally wanted this story to be written about Aaron but it felt better with Emily.
Enjoy <3
It was a day like another.
Emily had woke up next to her husband in the new house they had moved in recently. He looked so peaceful while sleeping, it was unusual because he was always up at least one hour before her but she just supposed he was tired from the previous case.
“You shouldn’t stare people while they sleep…” a sleeping and raspy voice whispered.
She smiled. She loved that morning voice of him, he looked defenseless, not as strict as he was wide awake, he was her Aaron and not agent Hotchner.
Pressing a kiss on his lips, she smiled even more. “Why can’t I do that to my gorgeous man ?”
“Come here.”
And with a surprising force he grabbed her so she could snuggle with him a bit longer. They had to work but every morning they insisted in having their little moments. And he would never get tired of having her close to him, kissing the top of her head in a lovingly embrace. “Did I tell you how much I love you ?”
She nodded before looking up at him. “Yes you did. But you can always tell me, it’s nice to hear you know.”
Aaron was about to tell her another sweet words when he saw her wince in pain for a second, frowning his brows and looking at her.
“‘Em what’s up ?”
“I….it’s okay, nothing to worry about don’t worry. You were saying?” She managed to say, quickly forgetting about the light pain in her lower abdomen. She had felt that yesterday but it left as quickly as it arrived so she didn’t really paid more attention.
He didn’t believe her, she could see it over his face. “Em, you can talk to me, you know that right?”
“Yes, but don’t worry, I will tell you if there is anything, please, let’s get up and have breakfast I’m so hungry.” She smiled, kissing him in a swift move before standing up and making her way to the kitchen, to prepare some coffee.
Aaron slowly followed her, still not certain she was alright. But he knew her, she wouldn’t speak if not ready. So the morning just continued, the two of them chatting around a nice breakfast and then getting ready for the office.
They were all sat around the table for the briefing case when he noticed the small wince of pain on her face, and the same gesture of her hand over her lower abdomen. He didn’t say a word but his hands clenched into fists quicker than he would have expected.
“Wheels up in 30.” He said an eternity later - 30 min exactly - while putting the files in his briefcase, waiting for her to stand and leave. “Emily, a word please.”
Aaron waited for the team to leave, all of them quickly understanding something was going on. When JJ had just closed the door, he made his way toward her, taking her hand in his, a very concerned look over his face.
“What’s going on ?”
He looked worried, but also a bit mad. Because he knew something was up and she hadn’t tell him yet. She happened to look surprised, staring blank at him before mumbling something that sounded like “don’t worry, im okay.”
“No you aren’t.”
She bitted her bottom lip, obviously he knew and she couldn’t lie to him anymore. “It’s just a little pain, nothing to worry about it honey. If it still hurts when we come back from Atlanta, I’ll let you take me to the doctor, deal ?” She really hope it could work, but by judging him, she knew she would have to negotiate more.
“I want you to tell me if something is wrong before I have to ask you Em. And no more I’m okay. I can tell when you’re in pain and I don’t like it.”
“Deal.”
“Come on, we have a plane to catch up.” He smiled, his hand on her lower back, guiding her towards the door.
•
A day had passed since and they were all seated in the conference room of Atlanta’s police station. Emily was struggling every hours to keep the pain out of her face, unable to not wince every time she could feel it through her whole body. God it was so painful. At some point she felt like she was about to throw up, the sensation of her stomach rumbling over and over again.
“Excuse me.”
And she left before they could say anything. Emily knew her husband would have noticed her state but she just didn’t want him to think she was sick, because he would send her home and it was not happening. However when she saw her in the bathroom mirror, she could not deny something was going on.
“Emily are you alright ?”
She bursted, JJ was just behind her, a concerned look on her face. “Yeah yeah…I’m right, I just needed some fresh air.”
JJ didn’t seem to believe one word, and Emily cursed herself for not thinking that she was working with profilers, of course she wouldn’t believe her. “Getting some fresh air in the bathroom okay, and what’s the second version?” the blonde smiled.
“I’m just…feeling nauseous but that’s all, don’t worry I’ll be fine, maybe it’s just something I ate yesterday.” The brunette gave up, looking down for a second.
“Okay, sounds better. I’ll leave you to it but if something else happens I’ll personally brings you to the doctor, case or not.”
Emily couldn’t help but smile. “You sounds like Aaron.”
She shrugged. “Maybe because we both love you so much and don’t want you to be sick ? I see you in a minute.”
The brunette smiled to her one more time before putting some fresh water all over her face, still not feeling better. When she got out, Aaron was waiting for her, a cup of coffee in his hand.
“You look pale.” he told her quietly, handing her the cup. “And sick.”
“I’m fine, really. Thanks for the coffee.” she tried to reassure him, but he had a feeling she wasn’t telling him the truth.
And he had never been this right in his life.
•
It was past 2AM when he woke up, suddenly aware of the moans coming from the hotel bathroom. Aaron didn’t think twice and literally jumped outta bed, looking for Emily. Something was wrong and he knew it. What he saw in the bathroom broke his heart in millions pieces.
“Aaron…” she called, her voice so low he almost didn’t hear it.
His wife was laying on the ground, he could see all the pain over her face and her cheeks covered in tears.
Aaron immediately knelt down, knowing his knees wouldn’t like it the next morning but he didn’t care, trying to get her up but as he tried to lift her, she couldn’t help but screamed, her hand all over her lower abdomen.
“It hurts so much….” She managed to say in between sobs.
“Sweetheart what’s wrong ? Tell me where it hurts. Please, let me help you.”
He was almost pleading her, feeling helpless. He felt bad for not dragging her to the doctor the second he’d noticed the first signs. “Em, look at me baby. Talk to me.”
“It’s my…my stomach.”
Another sob made his heart shatters. “I’ll call 911, and don’t tell me it’s okay.”
But she didn’t, and he called, almost begging them to come as quick as they could. He stayed with her until the EMT got here, holding her as close as he could, not wanting to let her go. She was suffering like hell and he could see it, he hated this. If he could have taken all of this pain in his body he would have had done it without any hesitations. At the hospital, when the doctor told him they would take her to surgery, he went blank, having no ideas of what was happening.
Aaron didn’t know how long he stayed in the waiting area, once pacing the room, trying to calm his nerves. He didn’t see his friends coming over, all looking concerned and worried. Dave was the first one speaking, the other silently waiting for an answers, Penelope trying to hold her tears behind Derek’s back.
“What’s going on ? We heard an ambulance but none of us knew it was Emily, they told us at the reception. What happened ?”
His tone was soft, and Aaron looked up at him, feeling desperate and lost, it was rare when he was showing his emotions but Emily was his whole world and he couldn’t just lose her like this, without saying goodbye.
“I don’t know.” He managed to say, trying not to break down. “We were sleeping, I knew she was feeling a big sick but she told me everything was fine and during the night..” his voice was trembling, his elbows were out on his knees and the team all thought they had never seen him looking so lost. “She was laying on the goddamn floor Dave, she was crying and…”
“She’ll be okay Aaron, Emily is stronger than us all reunited, whatever she has she’ll get through it.” His oldest friend reassured him, giving him a sweet tug on the shoulder. “Trust me, this is not the day SSA Emily Prentiss will say her last word.”
He couldn’t hide a small smile, very glad they were all here with him. Meanwhile, JJ managed to get hot drinks for everyone and when a doctor pushed the doors they were all standing, impatients to know what had just happened.
“Mr Hotchner ?”
“Yes it’s me. I’m her husband.”
“We performed an appendectomy on your wife. It’s very rare for adults to have it, but I it can happens it’s just bad luck. But don’t worry, she’s stable and everything went just fine.” The surgeon told him with a smile, all the team letting go of the breathe they didn’t know they were holding.
Aaron felt relieved, he had no ideas adult could have appendicitis and now he understood crystal clear why she was feeling weird, the hand on her stomach, the nausea. “Can I see her ?” He asked.
“Sure. She is in the room number 5141, she should be awake soon.”
He left and the team all smiled to Aaron.
“You should go first, we’ll be waiting in here.” Derek said, happy to know his friend was fine now.
“Or we could make her a get-better-basket ?” Penelope suggested, sparkles already shining in her eyes. “And get her some muffins?”
“It could’ve been a great idea baby girl…” Derek said with a flirtatious smile. “But it’s 6 in the morning.”
Her discomposed face made them all laugh, it felt good to have a distraction after the big scare Emily had given them. “Perhaps we can find something at the cafeteria ?” JJ proposed, knowing Hotch was so impatient to have some alone time with Emily.
“Fine. And we could also get some breakfast, i would die for some coffee, even if it’s only darkened water.” Dave said with a grimace, making them smile. “See you later Aaron. Tell Emily we’ll come by later, once she’s feeling better again.”
“Thank you.”
He knew they didn’t him to thank you, they were a family, they were always there when one of them was down. And neither of them could expect something better. Aaron walked down the hall, almost running to Emily’s room. A smile crossed his face when he saw that she looked so peaceful, she was still sleeping but he knew she wasn’t suffering anymore. He opened the door and took a seat next to her, taking her hand in his.
About an hour later Emily woke up, her body feeling all numb and sore. But at least she couldn’t feel the throbbing pain in her stomach. Quickly realizing she was at the hospital, she smiled at the view of her husband asleep next to her. She gently stroked his hair, smiling when he woke up.
“Hey…”
“Hey sweetheart. You know, you shouldn’t stare when people are sleeping. I got this one from a wise woman.” He said with his raspy morning voice. “Anyways, how are you feeling?”
“I have to meet this woman.” She chuckled tiredly. “I’m fine…what happened ?” She tried to sit but it felt too hard and her body felt on the mattress. A look from him made her understand it would be better not to try again any time soon.
“Appendicitis. Very rare for adults but it went fine.”
She chuckled. “I guess it’s just another scar to add to my collection then. Come here, I need you…” Emily invited him to come next to her, knowing it would be better for his back to lay on something comfier than a chair.
He did as he had been told and they slowly kissed, Emily quickly falling asleep against him. “Sweet dreams my love.” He whispered before drifting to Morpheus’s arms, relieved it was all over.
#hotchniss fanfic#hotchniss#Emily Prentiss needs a hug#criminal minds fic#aaron hotchner#hurt Emily Prentiss#hurt/comfort
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Bonten Mikey trapping you with a baby
It's been a week since you guys had fought and you have left. Mikey was losing himself once again. He wanted to kill you and kiss you. He been blowing up your phone with threats ever since you left him.
"Call me back this is your last warning y/n".
You stayed at a friend's house and you had noticed you forgot something at the house you and mikey had shared. You had forgot your laptop. You were hesitant to go get it knowing the chances of running into mikey. However, all your work files was on that laptop. You ran to your car and drove home. You had finally arrived and as you were putting the key in you looked behind your shoulder to make sure no one was there watching you. The door had opened and you went upstairs into your room to see your laptop laying on the bed
"Whew it's still here.. lemme just find the cord and we'll be outta here for goo-"
"Y/n."
You had froze. You felt cold. Your hands began to shake and your breath began to shorten. You knew exactly whose voice you heard. It was mikey.
His gun was pointing you. His eyes were so cold. He was furious and you could tell.
"You're not going anywhere y/n"
You began to tear up with the laptop still in your hand. His gun was still pointed directly at you.
"Mikey can you put the gun down at least? You're (sniffle)scaring me" you said while crying
He was silent. He didn't respond. He just stared at you while still keeping the gun pointed at you. He wanted answers. Why did you leave? You treated him so good. You should have known there would be no escape. The only escape there is, is death. You were his. Only his. The thought of you leaving him and moving on keeps him awake at night.
"MIKEY GOTDAMN" you yell. You were sick of the silence.
"I JUST WANT TO MOVE ON. I DONT WANNA DEAL WITH YOU ANYMORE BECAUSE YOU ARENT THE SAME MIKEY I USE TO KNO-"
Mikey interrupted you with a loud bang coming from the gun. He had shot the wall a inch next to you.
"Shut up. Shut up. SHUT UP Y/N"
He was starting to lose control of his emotions and you could tell by the way his eyes widened.
"I LOST EVERYONE WHO WERE CLOSE TO ME AND ILL BE DAMNED IF I LOOSE YOU. IF I HAVE KILL US BOTH I WILL."
You stood there crying. He wasnt the same. You wanted the old mikey back. His gun was still in his hand. You knew if you didn't do something now somebody was going to end up dead
You walked over to him. Cradled his face. You could see tears forming in his eyes.
You kissed him.
Your intention was to disarm him and bring him back to a calmer state because he was beginning to loose himself. You are aware you are his peace. As you was kissing him, he dropped his gun and begin to lift your shirt. He had pushed you against the wall still kissing you.
Your intention was to disarm him but as the kiss got deeper you realized you wanted this as bad as he did. Mikey finally got his hands on you. He finally got what he wanted, you.
Your shirt was off now exposing your breast. As he stared upon you, still fully clothed. You grabbed his dick and unzipped his pants now exposing his hard cock. You placed his dick in between your tits giving him a titfuck while he was still standing.
"I love your beautiful tits y/n I'm going to bust right in between them."
You spat on his dick while you massaged his dick in-between your tits going as fast as you could. He moaned your name beautifully. His breaths were getting heavy and you could tell he was about to cum
"Cmon mikey.. bust in between my tits baby. I'm all yours look at them mikey. Look at them."
As you continued to glide your tits up and down his dick he busted. You used your finger to lick the cum off your boobs. Yet, he was far from done. He went a whole week without seeing you. He wants to cherish this moment.
He took off his shirt and whispered in your ear
"you're having all my babies tonight. Gonna get you so full. I want you pregnant."
You didn't say anything. You were so intoxicated with the sex he was going to supply but little did you know Mikey was dead serious.
He began to kneel to your pussy licking it and eating it whole. He sucked your clit and He gave himself a hand job while he ate your pussy. Boy was so horny. You moaned as loud as you could.
"I love hearing you fucking scream"
You came right on his mouth. He slurped you so well. He missed your pussy.
"Did you fuck anyone else? Did you give anyone else my pussy y/n"
" No! No sir! I- I promise mikey"
"I'll kill you if you did"
You were scared of him. You stared into his eyes nervously. He then began to flip you over in doggy style position. Your pussy was beyond wet and he moaned while he massaged the tip in.
"Mikey...your dick feel so good"
He took his tip out. You were so tight and your pussy wasn't opening up for him he stuck his fingers in surprising you,
"You need to open up for me. I want your pussy to take me so you can cum.
He slid his dick back in and this time he managed to get it in all the way. You moaned like crazy and so did he. Your ass clapped onto him. He smacked it as hard as he could
"This your punishment for leaving. *smack* you're never leaving Me and I mean never. *smack* you're forever glued to me *smack* we belong together *smack*"
You screamed out his name crying from the pain and pleasure. He was getting faster and faster.
"OH Y/N ITS SO DAMN TIGHT. IM CUMMING INSIDE YOU"
You began to see white. Your vision blurred. You were fucked outta your mind. You began to feel mikey hot warm seed leaking into you. He kept his cock inside until he was done emptying himself. Thats a week worth of cum. Best believe your pussy was full.
He then pulled out kissing your neck.
"Mm-missed you so fucking much. I can tell you're tired y/n get some rest and I'll clean you up"
Boy was he a good liar. He was waiting til you fell asleep so he can sneak into the bathroom cabinet to grab your plan b.
You drifted off and that's exactly what he did. He had called sanzu while preparing his shower.
"She's home. Pick me up and Make sure you change the locks and lock her inside the house. She's not going anywhere. If she needs anything she will have to go through u first"
He hung up the phone and showered. His mission was complete. You were stuck with him forever. He knew deep down he got you pregnant and it made him happy.
He left the house leaving you in bed. You went searching for your plan b and noticed it wasn't there and as you were trying to walk out the house you noticed the doors were locked from Outside. He also had took your phone.
3 weeks later, you complained to sanzu about your morning sicknesses and asked if he could get you a test from the store. Turns out you're pregnant. As you looked at the test you began to form tears in your eyes because you realized what mikey was up to all along
Mission accomplished. He will never let you leave.
#tokyo revengers#toman x reader#tokyo revengers imagines#tokyo revengers x reader#anime memes#anime / manga#mikey x reader#toman mikey#mikey sano#mikey smut#mikey headcanon#anime smut#tomansmut#bonten#bonten mikey#anime#mikey x y/n#mikey x you#toman headcanons
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In which Tommy has a nightmare, and enderwalk!Ranboo is of the opinion that grass blocks make everything better.
(word count: 1,413)
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Tommy jolts out of a nightmare that he doesn’t want to remember, and a few seconds later, finds himself hyperventilating outside on the grass.
It’s not on, is what it is. He hardly asked for this, for these awful dreams and this inability to sleep for more than a few hours at a time at best, for this creeping certainty that Dream is breaking out, is going to come for him, and that it’s only a matter of time before something awful happens. He didn’t ask for any of this, but he has it, and he’s not moving out of his house, because that would feel like a concession, but on nights like these he wakes up and the dirt walls press in around him and he can’t breathe, and it is completely and utterly the worst.
So. Outside. Grass. Hyperventilating.
Calming himself down is old hat, by now. He figured out how to do it a long time ago, around the time when he realized that there wasn’t going to be anyone holding his hand anymore, that he was well and truly on his own, without a friend in the world. Other than—but no, he doesn’t go there. He knows better, now, even though his brain still tries to play tricks on him sometimes, tries to convince him that Dream is the only one who actually has his best interests at heart.
The point is, he knows how to do this. He’s used to it. And frankly, he’s glad that he is, glad that he can do this on his own, because he doesn’t want anyone else around him when he’s like this. Doesn’t want anyone else to see, doesn’t want anyone else to know that this happens, doesn’t want anyone else to be able to point at him and go, look, the great TommyInnit brought low.
So when he regulates his breaths and swipes the tears from his face and unclenches his fingers knuckle by knuckle, he looks up and most definitely does not expect anyone to be crouched in front of him. When he sees that there is, he scrabbles backward and lets out an incredibly manly scream, and he doesn’t think he can be blamed for it, because what the fuck?
“Holy shit,” he wheezes, “holy shit, you can’t just—” And has to stop, because it’s not just any weird crouching person. It’s his fucking—what’s the word for when a very irritating and terrible person marries your best friend? What’s the title for that? Annoyance-in-law?
In any case, it’s Ranboo.
“What,” he says, “the shit are you doing?”
Ranboo makes a sound that is not words at all. In fact, it sounds very similar to an enderman vwoop, which, alright, the guy’s half enderman, that checks out. Except, his eyes are also purple, and he looks rather taller than he normally does, even crouching down, so something is weird here. Something is very, very weird.
“Fuck off,” he says. “Go and, go and raise your shitty child or something. Sing ‘im a lullaby. Go on.”
He makes shooing noises with his hands, like one might do to a dog, or a persistent crow. Ranboo tilts his head very slowly, like a complete fucking weirdo, and then rises in one fluid motion, and goes walking off somewhere. Tommy stares after him, because he hadn’t really expected that to work. But alright, he’ll take it.
“That’s right,” he mutters. “Just fucking, fucking leave, go on.” He stares down at the grass, running a shaking hand through his hair. He is, maybe, not quite as recovered as he’d like. He’s usually not, after the initial panic, usually can’t make himself relax until the sun has crested the horizon and the sky has begun to lighten. He’s ruined for sleep tonight, that’s for sure.
But it’s alright. It’s alright, he’s used to it. He can do it. He can do this. He’s a big fucking man, and he can survive on a few hours of sleep a night, and he can avoid looking at himself in the mirror and remembering another face, eyebags just as dark, hair just as wild, eyes only slightly more desperate. He doesn’t have to remember things. Not if he doesn’t want to. He’s great at not remembering things, him.
Footsteps. He jerks, looks up again, and Ranboo is standing over him, and why is he so fucking tall?
Ranboo makes another vwooping sound. And then a little trill, almost like a bird, if a bird gargled gravel and then turned into an eldritch monstrosity. He crouches again, and then holds out his hands, and there is something in them, something that he is offering him, and—
Tommy squints. It’s a grass block.
“What am I supposed to do with that?” he asks.
Ranboo vwoops.
“Could you just stop being so fucking weird?” he demands. “For five minutes? I don’t think that’s too much to ask, really. God, you’re just. The worst.”
Ranboo shifts a bit closer, still holding out the grass block. Like he wants him to take it.
“I’m not taking your stupid block,” Tommy says, and accepts it.
Ranboo vwoops.
“Why would you even—” he says, burrowing his fingers into the dirt. A bit of it crumbles to the ground. He doesn’t understand how endermen manage to do this, keep these blocks in perfect shape, grass and all. “Why would you even give me this? What are you trying to pull on me, eh? It won’t work. You can’t pull the wool over my eyes, pal. You’re up to something. Why are your eyes all purple?”
Ranboo vwoops.
And then—Tommy remembers something. Something he wasn’t particularly trying to remember, and usually, that’s not such a great thing, but it’s not so bad this time. Because this memory is from just a couple of weeks ago, in Snowchester, one of those times that he was trying to hang out with Tubbo, but Ranboo was just there and wouldn’t leave, and Tubbo wouldn’t make him leave, so Tommy spent the entire time being vaguely pissed off. And he was trying not to pay attention to Ranboo, really, he was, except he remembers him saying something about how he gets anxious, and how holding blocks of things and putting them down places helps him. At the time, he made a point of not acknowledging him, because Tommy’s not an idiot. He knew what he was trying to do, and he didn’t appreciate it.
But—
He stares at the block in his hands. And then back at Ranboo.
He wants to be angry, at the idea, at the presumption, because who the fuck does Ranboo think he is, trying to patronize him like this? But Ranboo keeps up his soft warbles, and he finds his eyes filling with tears instead.
“Are you,” he says, and his voice is not choked, it’s not, “are you trying to help me?”
Ranboo vwoops. Chirps. And then reaches out, slowly enough that Tommy doesn’t feel the urge to flinch, and runs gentle clawed fingers through his hair.
“Oh,” Tommy says. And doesn’t lean into the touch. He doesn’t. But if, hypothetically, he does, that’s between him and Prime on high. Or at least, it would be, if all his muscles didn’t go lax a few seconds later, and if he didn’t accidentally on purpose tip forward against Ranboo’s chest.
The dirt slips through his fingers. But that’s alright, because one of Ranboo’s arms wraps around him, and the other keeps carding through his hair, like Wilbur used to do when they were younger and things were better and they were two halves of a whole rather than puzzle pieces that got bent out of shape. The way his head is, he can feel vibrations running though Ranboo’s chest, like the purr of a cat, and it’s going to lull him to sleep if he’s not careful.
He can’t let that happen. He has more dignity than that.
Except he’s very tired. And Ranboo is clearly—sleepwalking, or something. Not all there in the head at the moment. So maybe he won’t remember this in the morning, if Tommy makes sure to wake up first. And that would be alright.
“You’re still terrible,” he mumbles, but the words are slurred, and Ranboo’s arms are very warm and comforting, and he’s drifting. He can feel it.
So he lets himself. Ranboo’s warbles follow him into sleep, and he dreams of stars.
#mcyt#dsmp#dream smp#dsmp fic#tommyinnit#ranboo#enderwalk ranboo#allium duo#/rp#cw swearing#cw panic attack#cw past manipulation#cat writes fic#i should let y'all know that tommy deffo does not wake up first#the conversation the next morning goes something like this:#ranboo: why are we here??? why are you on top of me????#tommy: i'm attacking you#ranboo: ??????#tommy: i'm winning
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semi-charming • bill denbrough
(bill denbrough x reader smut)
requested: Do you have any bill denbrough x reader’s that you have finished that can be posted? I really love your work I re read it like everyday lol :) + AKANSHAKAKMA U SHOULD POST THE BILL DENBROUGH HATE SMUT AHHHH + don’t be shy post the b.d hate smut 😀🔫🥰🌝
i haven’t posted a fic in well over several months but i hope u guys like it :) im here and around still so send me something if u wanna chat <3 i also have re opened my requests lkajsdlkaj
also - i gained a lot of new followers while i was gone and im sure some ppl want to be removed from my taglist SO: i am gonna start a new taglist!!! pls send me a message and let me know if you want to be on it bc after this post im starting fresh !!!!!!!!!
warnings: drinking, mentions of weed, dorm living, almost-strangers hooking up, smut, choking (light), light spitting, a tiny bit of dirty talk, switch!bill, its kinda fluffy smut tbh, enemies-to-lovers but its so lowkey, kinda cute guys, neighbor-ish au,
(losers + reader are 19+.)
4.1k words
♡
the first time it happened, you wrote it off as unintentional.
it's happened to everyone: you're joking around with your roommate, or reaching over to grab your laptop, and you fall off your bed to the floor. you knock over your lamp or someone knocks over the handle that was sitting half-empty on the mini-fridge. the tile on the ground of the dorm rooms are hard and cold and don't do much to quiet the noise of anything, so you get that.
but whatever the hell was going on in the room above you was not that. it was three in the morning, and your head was spinning in that sickening way that only happens when you take too many drinks in a short time and find your way to bed for a few hours before being startled awake.
a loud thump made you jump in your bed, heart racing as you woke in surprise.
it was around twenty more loud thuds from your ceiling (in a span of barely two minutes) that you gathered the energy to slide out of your bed, sliding on your dorm slides and throwing on a shirt to cover your near naked body before storming into the hallway to climb the most challenging single story of stairs in your life, right to your upstairs neighbors' door.
your hand was banging on the door for a mere five seconds before the door swung open and a terribly confusing sight fell onto your eyes.
three boys who you've only ever seen in passing before in your dorm, all shirtless and heaving breaths. the one who answered the door, possibly bill or mike (judging by the stupid name tags on their door), has bright eyes and dark auburn hair that reflects in the dim light of the hall, backlit by the neon purple from inside the room. his sweaty bare abdomen made your eyes twitch as you glared at him, suddenly more irritated because he's kind of really hot and stupid and annoying, and you needed to sleep.
"hi.” he said casually, and you could tell he wasn’t entirely sober, either.
“so what is your fucking problem?" you said in lieu of a greeting, half-asleep and pissed beyond belief (also still drunk). the boy who answered the door raised his brows, head turning with a brow raised, as if to ask his buddies 'are they for real?' before turning back with a large, cocky smile, "pardon you? we already turned down the music."
you blinked, knowing you must have seemed so rude and looked insane but it was a weeknight and you had class in the morning, "wh- what, no- i'm not here about music. it's like three, you're slamming on the floor and i can hear it like i'm in a fucking tornado in my room below you so you need to knock it off."
then the other boy, further back with foggy glasses, started laughing. the other one laughed too, rubbing his neck sheepishly, still breathing heavy. "what the hell are you guys even doing in there?" you added, running a hand through your hair in exasperation.
"they were trying to bench press me. but then bill decided to start doing squat jumps onto his bed." the boy with glasses explained as he rubbed his chest, still concealed by the darkness of the room, illuminated only by the stupid LED neon lights that every single person in the dorms had lining their rooms. that explained the thudding.
"why." you'd deadpanned. you were too tired for this, but you'd wanted them to understand that it was keeping people up. "richie got us kicked out of Pike for stealing their doorknobs and pledge class photos." the third boy says, elbowing the boy, richie. "we felt like working out, but then richie said we couldnt press him, so..." he trails off at the look you give.
"you want my workout routine or something?" richie asks you. you sharply inhale and bill smiles, "well, if that's all, we'll be going. i've got one more rep to get in."
your eyes widened, jaw dropping at his words. he'd laughed, then, and your eyes couldn't stop as you stared at his sculpted abs flex in the light. god damn it.
"chill out, neighbor. sorry to wake you from your beauty sleep." he said as he noticed your look, and you wanted to fucking hit him.
you rolled your eyes, picking up on his facetious tone. "whatever. just knock it off. thanks," you'd griped, sarcastically smiling at them before trudging away towards the stairwell. and you'd caught it when bill muttered, "is now a bad time to assemble my ikea desk with my drill?"
you'd run into bill once again a few days after when you'd gone to use the bathroom on the floor above you where your friend lived, washing out the bowl you'd used for lunch. a 'shh!' had made your brows furrow as you'd walked in, not paying attention as you'd heard a shower stop and a girl laugh from the other side of the bathrooms.
but a deep voice grunting 'ow, fuck' made you freeze and then feel hot, wondering what kind of luck you have to be in the bathroom when some people were hooking up in the shower. but you're reminded that you had the worst luck when you go to leave the bathroom and two figures round the corner, hair soaking wet and hoods pulled over their heads. making eye contact with him, he must've seen how flustered and irritated you were, because he cracked a grin, "good to see you again, neighbor. you sleeping well these days?"
that was only a few days ago. you'd seen him in passing at a party at one of the frats, but had avoided any interaction with him after you saw him and his friend with the glasses snickering to themselves after sneaking looks to you. god, you didn't want to face them again - they were so mocking, so cocky.... so rude, and they made you feel like you were being insane just for wanting to have peaceful sleep. bill was not your favorite person.
but as bad as the first two experiences were, the third time you had the misfortune of interacting with bill, it was the worst.
your roommate was out for the weekend, and you'd found yourself stuck with your leg and ankle pinned between your heavy file cabinet under your bed and your bedframe, unable to scoot it over on your own to free your leg.
you were planning on relaxing tonight, after being stood up from a booty call hook up. you’re mad, frustrated, horny, and close to tears now that you’ve gotten yourself stuck pinned to your bed.
it’s nearly one in the morning, and nobody’s in the hall.
but then, bill walked past your open door as you struggled, and desperately you called, "hey!"
his double-take into your room, his head poking in, would have been charming if the face was anybody but him.
"what?" he asks, suddenly noticing it’s you. his voice is not charming and calm as you've seen him be with other peers, but in your stubborn mind, you convince yourself it’s fine; you don’t like him, either.
"i'm stuck, can you help?" you say despite your thoughts.
he sighs, dropping his backpack next to your bed and then tugging to try and move the cabinet.
"how did you do this?" he mutters as he pulls as hard as he can to pull it, but your shoe is too wedged diagonally against the floor, cabinet and frame. you sigh, "thought i could nudge it to the side with my toes, i dropped my dab through the crack."
he chuckles, trying to instead shove it backwards instead; to no avail. "smart girl." he says sarcastically, and you roll your eyes, trying to help him shove it. "what was the point of you keeping me up all fucking night if you aren't strong enough to move this shit?" you say, exasperated because it's starting to dig into your calf.
he stops, rolling his eyes at you. "has anyone ever told you that you can be a bit rude?" he asks, moving closer to you to try and push it away. you look down at him from where you stand, elbows on your mattress. "no. you're just a dick. fight fire with fire, or whatever." you mutter, face feeling hot.
you can't stop staring at his shoulders, his arms - they're so hot, the veins popping out of his hands and forearms, the smell of his aftershave wafting into your nose from where he kneels next to you.
he just hums. "i'm going to try to push your leg forward and then push the cabinet away." he states, and you nod, just wanted this nightmare to be over. you're still terribly embarrassed and the proximity to such a hot and confusingly irritating boy is making you lose your grip.
it takes a lot in you to not jolt when his warm hand wraps around your bare leg and starts to pull you, his strong hold on you making you tingle. "what's your name?" he asks, and you almost laugh as his grip on your thigh tightens, the feeling of his fingers wrapped around your skin making you hot. this is insane.
"y/n." you struggle out, throat feeling dry - there's no reason his hand needs to be so high up on your leg, but some part of you really wants it. "it says that on my door." you say breathlessly.
whatever he was going to reply with is cut off as he tries to readjust his grip on you and the cabinet, but his hand slides up and grazes the skin near the apex of your thigh, coaxing a sharp gasp to fall from your mouth.
he turns red, looking up at you, "god, sorry." he mutters, and you bite your lip, unable to look away.
you kind of forget to say anything, stuck staring at him, heart thumping as wetness pools between your legs just from this boy's touch. god, you've got to get laid.
his arm is wrapped around the onside of your leg, thumb reaching higher on your thigh than his other fingers, and for a moment you hesitate before deciding to go for it: you drop your hand hand to his hair, pulling lightly as you 'steady yourself,' smirking as you feel his shaky breath against your thigh.
you don't even care about getting unstuck now, all you can think about is being fucked into the mattress by this asshole boy from the fourth floor. you’re not sure where this feeling came from.
when he finally pushes the cabinet away, causing you to stumble to catch your ground. he helps you get the cart and then push the cabinet back, awkward small talk making you want to die. "why were you down here anyways?" you ask, rubbing your leg. "mike kicked me out to be with a girl and all my friends are out for tonight." he sighs, rubbing his neck. "i have to do homework tonight, just going to find somewhere quiet to get it done."
"that's surprisingly responsible." you say, looking at him wearily. he gives you an annoyed look, "what's that supposed to mean?" you roll your eyes, "you don't seem particularly academically motivated." you state, unsure if you're coming across as flirtatious or just a dick. he gives you a look as he moves to grab his things from next to your bed. "you seem more pleasure motivated."
you catch your mistake immediately - and he does, too, smirking. you stutter to fix it, "don't be gross." you defend weakly.
he's biting his lip and something rumbles in your chest, flames in your abdomen. it's hard to gauge if you don't like him or if you do. maybe you're just horny.
"i thought you were cute, you know, until you showed up at three in the morning to chew me out." he mutters, eyebrows raised, "i get that that was annoying, but it was a saturday. everyone was drunk, i don't get why you are still being a bitch." his face drops when he says that, as if he didn't mean to say it at all, but he doesn't take it back. you shrug, not too offended. he kind of has a point, "i don't get why you have to make everything so much harder than it has to be. doesn't matter how hot you are, i don't have to like you, you know." you say, crossing your arms with a smirk.
"believe me, i'd rather you not like me." he says, smile on his face troubling. you look at him, trying to gauge why you're feeling so flustered, why you want to jump his bones right now no matter how annoying he is. "then why haven't you left yet?" you challenge. you figure if you're reading his actions wrong, this gives him an out.
"because i kind of want to fuck you now." he says boldly. you just smirk, walking towards where he sits on your desk chair, lowering yourself to straddle him. he looks up at you, eyes large and mischievous as he pulls you down on him all the way, your hips grinding lightly. "i think you want to fuck me always." you whisper, lips hovering above his, teasing. you're eating up all his attention, soaking it up and savoring the way he watches you.
you boldly snake your hand down between the two of you, lips still refusing to touch his, your hand starting to tease his clothed cock as it hardens under your palm. you stroke him as you lean, almost kissing him before pulling away. he glares at you.
then you move your hips, the tension in your room killing you. he lets out a half-moan, causing you to buck your hips again, relishing in the pleasure it gives you. he leans forward, trying to catch your lips, but your hand catches his chest, your lips just centimeters from his own.
"fuck you, y/n." he says, fed up with your teasing as his hands squeeze your ass, moving to the bottom of your thighs and then rising with surprising ease, holding you against him and making your heart thump in shock. he takes four long strides towards your bed, tossing you on it. you grin, expecting for him to climb onto you, but instead he's walking towards your door, making your heart quicken. is he leaving?
he slams your door shut, though, and it makes you smirk as he clicks the lock. you're on your back, the sight of him upside down making you bite your lip, eyes nearly even with the bulge in his sweatpants.
he walks up to you, and you eye him as he bends forward, hand catching your chin, holding your head forward with a strength you didn't expect. "look at me." he says suddenly. you blink, feeling hot as you stare into his eyes.
"don't tease me." he says, and you swallow, heart racing in excitement. "okay." you croak, and it seems to satisfy him because he tilts your neck from here he holds your neck and chin, kissing you soundly on your lips. you feel on fire at his touch, squirming as you slip your hands into his hair - it's making you so needy that he's holding you, almost trapped on the mattress, kissing him upside down.
he pulls away and you flip around, allowing for him to climb onto the bed, barely enough time before you pull him in for another kiss, this one heated and desperate.
he bites marks on your neck as your hands palm him, pushing your own thighs together in need. slowly, you push him down against your mattress and sling a leg over his hip, moving to straddle him. his hands find your hips easily, looking at you like you're the only thing ever worth looking at; your breath leaves your lungs and you steady yourself, the reality of how fucking beautiful bill is hitting you at once.
you pull his shirt off, yours coming off, leaving you in just your shorts and underwear. he palms your tits, pinching your nipple as you grind down against his cock, whimpering at the feeling of his pants against your clothed clit. "if only you'd come up to my room like this." he says, and you snap your eyes to his, seeing the teasing grin but glaring at him. "maybe you would've been nicer to me if you knew how good i'd make you feel." he whispers as you resume your hip's movement, "shut up, bill." you hiss. he laughs, his thumb making contact with your clit takes you by surprise and you jump a bit, moaning quietly as your eyes close in pleasure.
"take these off." he mutters into your mouth as you bite his bottom lip. you take off your shorts, quickly resuming your spot straddling him, his lips trailing from your breasts to your throat and then your mouth again, grinding against him in need. he toys with your slit over your panties before he pulls them slowly to the side, spreading your juices on his long fingers, humming as he brings his fingers to his lips, watching you as he licks his fingers. you nearly moan, impatient enough that you kiss him, tasting yourself on his lips faintly; "do you want me?" you whisper against his lips.
"i wish i didn't," he says, "but yes. do you want to do this?"
you're breathless, beside yourself with need, "yes." you say quickly, tugging his sweats off and tossing them to the floor. "fuck you, by the way." you spit, flipping him off. he grins and it's fucking beautiful, his smirk, his red cheeks, heaving chest. budding hickeys bloom over his neck and chest as he catches your hand, tugging you forward over him, whispering, "you're about to."
you roll your eyes, ignoring the butterflies in your chest, hand falling over his as he pumps himself. your thumb swipes over his tip, spreading his precum before opening the condom he'd pulled out of his pocket (you don't even want to know why he brought one with him to study) and roll it onto his cock.
and then you’re pushing aside your panties and stabilizing yourself on bill’s chest. you line yourself up on him and look to him for one last confirmation. he nods, “quick fucking around, babe.” he says, but his voice sounds desperate and his cheeks are flushed and you let out a strangled moan as you sink onto him, the nickname making your stomach flutter. you have to stay and give yourself time to adjust to his size, his moans swallowed by your own mouth as your tongue swipes his. his hands roam your body, squeezing your hips, your ass, your breasts and then rising to cup your neck and back.
“shit, bill.” you whimper as you slowly start to move up and down. his eyes fall shut in pleasure and his head tilts back, exposing the entire expanse of his throat for you to claim, his hands falling to your hips. your eyes watch his thin necklace shine in the faint light from your lamp and he's filling you up perfectly.
he looks like fucking heaven.
you kiss his neck lightly as you pick up the pace, bouncing on him steadily as his fingers grip the sides of your thighs.
“fuck, y/n.” he whispers, staring at you with his lips caught between his teeth. the feeling of him stretching inside you and hitting the perfect spot has your legs shaking already, breathing heavily. he’s soon surging up, kissing you deeply as groans fall from his lips, his arms rising to your waist to hold you as you move.
"you're much better when you're not talking." you mutter as you fuck yourself on him, moving your hips as you bounce. he rolls his eyes, "i'd fuck you every day if it meant you wouldn't come ruin my fun every night." he quips back, eyes challenging. and your hand rises to squeeze around his throat, at first as a joke, but then he smiles brightly, a smirk that stirs something in you and you squeeze ever so slightly, the feeling of his pulse making you moan.
his smirk sends butterflies through your stomach, pleasure swirling in your core. but then his own hand rises to your own throat, squeezing lightly.
you moan, unable to keep it together. "you think two can't play this game, y/n? it's like you don't know me." he tuts, seemingly pleased as you're flushing, gasping as your legs stutter, his hips moving up to meet yours, strokes hitting you deep. “i don’t,” you whisper, and he hums.
your legs stutter after one particularly satisfying thrust and he grabs your hips, lifting slightly and biting his lip as he starts to thrust up into you. “oh, my god,” you moan as he hits your g spot and he curses under his breath.
your hand comes up to rest on the wall behind him as you meet each other half way, hitting a spot deep inside you that has you moaning his name loud enough for anyone to hear. you hope to god your next door neighbors are out.
he presses his lips to yours and you know its to get you to stop being so loud - it makes your toes curl in pleasure. then his thumb snakes its way to your lips, his grin widening when your lips immediately part and suck on the finger, humming around it as your hand rests on his neck, the other over his abs as you bounce.
"so pretty like this, y/n." he leans up, then, sitting up more and changing the angle, making you gasp with a moan as his hand snakes around your waist, pulling you closer to his face with the hand on your face. he pulls his thumb from your mouth with a light pop, your legs barely riding him at your proximity, instead steady on his hips, his cock warm and stretching you. "do you think you'd look pretty under me?" he asks. you swallow, moving your hips again and sliding on his cock, movements making you stare at him, pleasure building.
"i think you would." he whispers, hand still on your neck. you whimper a bit, sliding off of him, allowing him to climb over you, kissing you soundly before pulling you to the edge of your bed, legs hanging off as he stands in front of you. lifting one leg, he kisses your knee and holds it up as he teases your slit with his cock before sliding into you again, causing you to let out a loud moan, his own melding with yours.
your eyes roll back at the new angle, legs shaking as his fingers dig into your thigh. “wanna see your f-face when i make you cum.“ he mutters, hand rising to thumb your lip, dragging your bottom lip down.
"you think you're gonna make me cum?" you bite, knowing no man you've been with has been able to.
you watch as his eyes admire the half-lids of your eyes, the blissed, fucked-out look on your face. your chest is littered in blossoming hickes, varying from pink to dark red and slightly purple already.
he says nothing in response to you, but pulls your leg further open, spitting down onto your cunt, making you moan lightly, the action being terribly sexy. his thumb finds your clit and starts to rub perfectly in counteraction to his thrusts, his lips finding your nipple.
you gasp in pleasure, panting as you start to wonder if he really is going to make you cum. then his thumb rubs circles on your clit and as he presses lightly, you can’t hold off any longer. “fuck,” you hiss as you hit your peak, your orgasm making your legs shake. you can’t help it, gasping and bucking your hips as you clench against his cock in bliss, your orgasm causing you to tug his hair in ecstasy. “so pretty.” he mutters against your neck, pressing kisses to it as you’re moaning and arching your back. "so good, cumming for me." he says cockily. you're panting as you whisper, "shut up," his hips still pounding into yours.
“god, you're such a sweet talker.” he mutters sarcastically as you look at him desperately, his eyes fall shut in bliss, a deep groan leaving his lips, you can tell he's close.
"and you're such a gentleman." you jest back, pulling him closer by his shoulders, eyes shutting in bliss. he hums, strokes getting sloppier, "i let you cum first, didn't i?" he counters.
you huff a laugh, something in your heart twinging in affection. you kiss him so you don't say something stupid, moving your hips with his. a few strokes and he's pulling you closer to him by your back, whimpering into your mouth, “y/n, fuck.” beautiful moans fall from his cherry colored lips as he cums, and you just stare at him in awe, surprised by how hot it is as he says your name. he rides his high and then falls off of you, onto the mattress between you and the wall.
"hey," he says after a few moments of you both catching your breaths, your hands overlapping on your stomach but not nearly holding hands. it makes you feel warm in a weird way. excited, nervous.
"what?" you ask, turning to stare into his eyes. he smirks, "you think we woke up the downstairs neighbors?" he whispers, eyes alight with tease.
you shove him, smothering him with a pillow while he laughs, pulling you onto him.
tag list: @gabiatthedisco @blisshemmings @stenbrozier @sft-core @clownsloveyou @moon-shine-baby @daughter-of-the-stars11 @trashedfortozier @oceandog13 @kait16xo @upamongthestarss @fiantomartell @beverlyparkerr @beauregard-s @diorbubs @leighjaenikhowell @groovybimbo @deepestofwaters @unfortu-nate-ly @sassy-uris @loverloserrr @hauntingkaspbrak @soph-ec @hockslutter @babytortie @decafcoffeew
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out of my league - knj | 01
you were out of my league. got my heartbeat racing. if i die, don't wake me, cause you are more than just a dream - out of my league, fitz and the tantrums
✹ summary- Kim Namjoon was never supposed to find out about your years-long hopeless crush on him. And he most definitely was not supposed to find out about it in front of all your coworkers in a company-wide meeting.
✹ rating- explicit/18+/nsfw
✹ pairing- kim namjoon x reader
✹ word count- 6.6k
✹ genre- angst, smut, comedy
✹ chapter warnings- swearing, descriptions of sex, sexual content, namjoon being a sexy flirt, jungkook being a himbo, awkward conversations, jimin being a protective bff
✹ a/n- hello and welcome to this fic thats lived in my google docs for almost a year now. without @ladyartemesia @xjoonchildx @untaemedqueen and @chimoona, i would never have posted it. i truly owe so much of my brainstorming and creativity to their incredible brains and thoughts and ideas. i love them very much! i hope you enjoy this first chapter! please feel free to message me, talk to me abt anything!! im always here to chat. ILY!
MASTERLIST
Kim Namjoon was never supposed to find out this way.
You planned to confess your undying, unerring love for your coworker at a better time, a classier place. You would wear a dress that highlighted your features, hair cascading down your back, makeup done to perfection and spritzed with expensive perfume. You’d confess, he’d confess right back, and you’d live happily ever after.
You’d also dreamt that Kim Namjoon would have the slightest inkling of who you are before he finds out about your year long crush. He might know you as the mousy girl in the office who doesn’t talk and doesn’t contribute much other than some crunched numbers and apparently the best coffee brewer in the office. But you’d prefer he knows you well—your favorite colors and movies and foods, what makes you happy and sad; things future husbands should know.
You very much did not think it would happen in a company wide conference, full of over five hundred suit-wearing executives. You did not think it would be done by the office bully, Chungha, who carefully takes over the mic and speaks the words clearly as she presents awards of recognition.
“Congratulations to Kim Namjoon for 5 years with the company, over $4 million in revenue, and the object of ____’s lust and affection. I’m sure you two will have the happy life she’s written in her journal about. Make sure you celebrate with her today!”
The room is silent, so silent you could have heard a pin drop from a mile away. Your face is cherry red and you wish the earth would open up and swallow you whole. Your heart feels like someone has ripped it in half and you stare in horror at the girl smirking at the front. Is this what it feels like to be backstabbed? Namjoon looks perplexed—confusion written on his face as he gestures around to no one in particular like he’s saying ‘what the fuck was that?’
Awkward coughing and clapping begins and Namjoon stands to receive his award, a fine wooden fountain pen, and chances a glance around the room. He easily spots you, with your wide, frightened face. His look remains passive, not hinting what he’s thinking behind those stormy eyes, before he turns and sits back down at the table with his buddies from his department.
You seriously contemplate quitting your job. You could find a new one easily, right? Just stand up and tell your boss you quit and you’re out of there before Namjoon ever sees you again and you’ll never have to face the mean girl who’s ratting you out.
As much as the idea rolls through your head, you know you won’t do it. You love your job, love the security and finances it provides you, and you love to look at Kim Namjoon, all day every day.
You don’t understand where things went wrong.
( one month ago )
It’s 9:03 am. You finish brewing the coffee in the small staff kitchen and sigh at the aroma of the freshly ground beans. Coffee is your favorite meal, favorite time of day, favorite snack, and preferred beverage. You drink it constantly. You’re known as “coffee girl” at work, mostly because no one really bothers to get to know you beyond that. You drink coffee like it’s a devoted religion. You could drink a cup right before bed and still sleep like a baby. It was, put simply, your drink.
The office workers deem you to be the one to make the pots of coffee every morning, claiming you were the ‘best’. You didn’t mind—you preferred to make your own coffee regardless—but you believe your coworkers are trying to pass off the twenty-minute job to someone lower in the office hierarchy. And you were one step above the interns.
The coffee machine chimes to let you know it’s hot, and it’s ready for you. You eagerly pour a mug, a large one, and smile as the waft of freshly ground beans (by you, of course) fills your senses.
You nearly knock the cup out of your hand as Kim Namjoon strolls into the office, eyes set on the coffee.
You feel your throat swell up, like he’s an allergen and you’re caught without an epi-pen. Butterflies swirl in your stomach and you can’t stop staring at him. He pays you no mind, tired yet determined to pour a cup of coffee and get back to his office.
You stand in the small kitchen, clutching your coffee like a lifeline, and pray to god you don’t do something stupid.
Namjoon pours his mug, and you watch his muscular hands grip the coffee pot. He pours a hefty amount of cream and sugar into his cup—it appears even perfect male specimens have their faults.
Your eyes dance on his face before they tango down his body. You wonder what he looks like in the morning, crawling out of bed with mussed hair and a sleepy smile painted on his face. He’d look at you and tell you you’re the most beautiful girl and kiss you deeply despite morning breath. Maybe he’d take you to the shower to press you against the tile as he fuc-
“Oh!” it startles Namjoon to see you, and the coffee in his hand swishes violently. “Didn’t see you there. Sorry!”
Your heart melts. He’s the picture of kindness and politeness. You recognize it’s been a few seconds and you still haven’t replied.
“It’s fine!”
“Great coffee, by the way,” he smiles. His teeth nearly knock you out cold with their brilliance. “Have a good day.”
He turns and exits the room without so much as a glance back at you. Your knees feel weak.
Kim Namjoon talked to you. He complimented you. He told you to have a good day. It’s the best and most significant conversation you’ve had with your secret crush.
You definitely file that away for another day when you need to reminisce on his compliment, and you scurry out of the kitchen towards your desk.
Park Jimin is waiting dutifully at your desk when you arrive, a smug smile still slapped over your features as you sip at your coffee. Namjoon spoke to you today—how lovely.
Jimin quirks an eyebrow.
“What’s got you so perky this morning?”
You’re normally quiet and passive, avoiding eye contact or any semblance of emotion on your face.
You look up at the blonde bespectacled boy. Park Jimin is the closest thing to a best friend in the company. He’s who you spend time with at lunch, see on weekends, and text often. You suppose he’s the closest thing to a best friend you have in your entire life.
You send him a smirk and lean in close to whisper. “Namjoon said hi to me today!”
Jimin sends you a pitiful look and pats your shoulder. Your best friend is well aware of your secret crush and while he thinks Namjoon is a nice guy, he thinks your crush is a little hopeless. He’s the most popular guy in the office, often has dates lined up every weekend. Jimin hears the way he and his friends talk in the break room. The man is definitely not hurting for female attention.
“Oh, honey,” he sighs, unenthusiastically. “That’s great.” He can’t help but feel a twinge of sadness over how excited you’re getting from a simple ‘hello’ from a coworker.
“I know, right? Anyway, lunch today?” You ask as you settle down into your cubicle.
Jimin pushes his glasses up his face and nods. “Of course! That’s why I came by this morning. I wanted to let you know that Jungkook from marketing will join us.”
You make a face, disgust etched in the lines creasing your forehead.
“Why?”
Jungkook is well known in the company. He’s a loudmouth, a player, a clown, and everyone’s favorite comedian. He’s just not your favorite.
“Don’t be rude,” Jimin admonishes at your grimace. “He asked to join and well—he’s cute. I can’t say no to him.”
“Oh Christ, Jimin,” you groan. “Not you too! Don’t tell me you have the hots for the serial fuckboy?”
He blushes lightly and shrugs. “Maybe I do! Be nice to him today or I’ll eat all your chocolate ice cream I know you have at home.”
You stick your tongue out, petulantly. “Fine, now let me get to work or else Seokjin will be up my ass.”
Jimin smiles and kisses your cheek before he scurries away, back to human resources.
It feels as if barely any time has passed. You’re working hard, running calculations and updating spreadsheets. You have an eye for numbers, and losing yourself in an equation is just another day for you. You’re shaken from your cheerful place by a vibration from your phone, and a text alert popping on the lit screen.
jimin 12:01 pm- it’s lunchtime!! you better get your butt out here!
You smile and text back an affirmative reply, then move to grab your lunch from the company fridge. Gliding down the steps leading to the fresh outdoors, you meet Jimin at the lunch tables in the grass.
Jimin is sitting with Jungkook. You can recognize your best friend by his hair and glasses, and Jungkook by his obnoxious laughter.
“Hi,” you murmur as you sit down and open up the brown bag lunch you’ve brought.
“Hi!” Jimin is excited to see you, and just a pinch over eager to be sitting next to Jungkook.
“You know Jungkook, right?” Jimin asks, a harsh look in his eyes that reminds you to be on your best behavior.
You nod as you pull out a bag of grapes. “Oh, yeah, hey,” you smile. “I’ve seen you around.”
Jungkook delivers you a signature smirk and you feel yourself roll your eyes internally. “Yeah, you’re Coffee Girl, right?”
You pout and glare down at your brown bag lunch. Will you ever become more than just Coffee Girl?
“Yeah, I suppose that’s me.”
Jimin clears his throat to dismiss any awkwardness.
“So, Jungkook, I hear you like working out? ___ likes to work out too. She drags me to the gym sometimes. Maybe we could all meet up sometime?” You don’t miss the hopeful lilt in his voice. Jungkook does.
“Oh, yeah?” He narrows a sexy look at you, rather—a look he thinks is sexy that you find off-putting. “What do you do at the gym? Little cardio sets with 5 pound weights?”
What an asshole.
“Sometimes,” you state as you take a bite of the homemade salad you handcrafted last night. “Most of the time I’m lifting heavy. I can bench 275 and deadlift 300.”
Jungkook looks taken back. “What, really?” He sounds breathless. “You lift more than Namjoon-hyung.”
At the sound of the love of your life’s name, you pause. Your face heats quickly and Jungkook smirks. Of course, he recognizes this and not Jimin’s obvious flirting.
“Why are you blushing?” He asks. “Did I say something?”
You’re quick to dismiss things. “Um--no. I just um,” you’re grasping at straws. “I’m hot.”
Jimin is trying not to laugh, hiding his mouth behind a petite hand.
Jungkook tilts his head. “It’s not even sunny today.”
You gulp. “Yeah, I must be hot. With a fever. M-malaria… probably.”
Jungkook snorts.
“You have malaria? Bummer.” He picks at his nails. “I thought for a moment you had a thing for Namjoon.”
“No!” The retort is quick, too quick for normal conversation, and it gives you away.
“Aha!” Jungkook points an accusing finger at you. “You have the hots for him, don’t you?”
Your features melt, and Jimin tries to assuage the situation. “Jungkook, please don’t tell anyone,” he pleads.
Jungkook smiles at you. “That’s so cute. It’s like a little nerdy freshman crushing on the senior class president.”
You bury your head in your hands, suddenly unable to stomach any food.
“Jungkook,” Jimin’s tone becomes more firm, authoritative. “I’m asking you this as a friend. Please, don’t say anything.”
Jungkook holds his hands up to prove his innocence and waves his proverbial white flag.
“Secret is safe with me,” he promises. “But it’s cute. I know him really well, you know. I could try to hook you two up.”
You blanch, unsure if you want Jungkook saying anything about you to the man of your dreams.
“I’m good, but thanks,” you offer meekly. “I’m not feeling well. I’m going to head back to work, okay?”
Jimin frowns, knowing you’re feeling like a cornered animal, and nods. “Feel better, babe,” he sighs.
Jungkook watches as you leave and turns to Jimin. “Man, he’s way out of her league.”
Jimin slaps the boy in the chest. “Be nice, asshole, that’s my best friend.”
Jungkook promises to be nice, and Jimin is blissfully unaware that others are listening and that the man beside him is easy to persuade.
( present day )
The company-wide meeting adjourns soon after what is likely to be the most embarrassing moment you’ve ever lived through.
You’re grabbing at your things and trying to run out of the room, desperate to get out before anyone sees you or talks to you or laughs at you.
A hand grabs at the coattails of your suit jacket and you’re pulled backwards with a yelp. You turn to seek your captor and find the concerned face of your best friend, Jimin.
“Are you okay? What the fuck just happened?”
Jimin’s concern makes it all real. Until now you could pretend you were in a fugue state, totally dissociated from reality. Now, you realize that everyone in the entire company is aware of your crush on Kim Namjoon.
You can feel your bottom lip wobble, tears threatening to spill. Jimin murmurs an ‘oh shit’ and drags you out of the large room and into the nearest bathroom. He pushes you to sit against the sink and passes you toilet paper to dab at your eyes.
“I don’t know how she found out!” you cry. “God, I feel so stupid and embarrassed.”
It incenses Jimin. He’s holding it back to ensure you’re okay, but in reality, it’s an HR nightmare waiting to happen. He’ll find who did it and punish them accordingly.
They will suffer.
“It’s okay, babe,” he pulls you into a hug. “Everyone will forget about it soon. They’ll think it’s just a lame office joke, okay?”
You nod, feeling the slightest bit comforted by his words.
“How could she find out, Jiminie?” You ask with a sniffle. “You’re the only person who knows.”
Jimin sighs and shakes his head.
“I don’t know, but they’re dead. I haven’t told any-... oh, my god,” Jimin stops suddenly. You look up at him to catch what he’s thinking.
He growls and balls his fists.
“Jungkook knew.”
You let out a sob and bawl your eyes out into the tissue you’re holding. Jimin holds you tighter while he conjures up a hundred different ways to hurt someone and make it look like an accident.
“Don’t worry,” Jimin sighs, trying to comfort both you and himself. “I’m HR. I have to handle this. I’ll make sure they get what they deserve.”
You feel a sting of pain for Jimin. He’s been hopelessly doting on the man who spilled the beans for a few months now, even got to take him on a few dates. It was still nothing serious, but Jimin was clearly smitten.
“I’m sorry you have to do that, Chim,” you whisper. “I know how you feel about him.”
“Yeah, well,” he swallows thickly. “You’re more important than any asshole.”
Jimin holds you tight for a few minutes longer, before you clean yourself up and steel yourself. Ignore everyone, Jimin encourages. Just get to work, he says. Then you can go home and we’ll drink wine and forget about it all, he promises.
You replay his words in his head like a prayer as you walk down the corridors and towards your office. Everyone in the hallways stops to stare at you. They lean towards their friends and whisper. You hear snippets of their gossip, like “Namjoon” and “out of her league”. It drives the sharp blade lodged in your chest even further. It threatens to collapse your lungs and break your ribs.
You make it to your desk safe and sound and bury yourself in work and forcibly ignore the gawking and the stares.
Just make it home. Just get through the day. You’re almost there.
You could do this.
You nearly make it the entire day before running into the one person you didn’t want to see, Kim Namjoon.
At the end of the day, you’re taking the stairs down to the parking garage instead of the elevator. The elevator is too busy, too many people, and you’re trying to avoid the stares and giggles at your expense. The stairs are always deserted and you figure it’s your safest bet.
You can nearly hear the wine calling your name at home. A delicate glass of Sauvignon Blanc and some chocolate ice cream and a good cry—it sounds like the best and only way to unwind after the worst day you’ve ever had in your life.
The chanting of your name gets louder and you wonder if you’ve finally lost your mind—if you’re actually hearing your wine bottles all the way at home talking to you.
No, wait. The voice is real, and coming from behind you. You turn around to face who’s calling you and nearly faint at the sight.
Kim Namjoon stands on the landing above you, one strip of stairs between you.
“Hey!” He seems glad he’s caught you. “I’ve been calling your name for a minute.”
You swallow and search for an answer.
“Sorry, I’m-.. I guess I’m just a little out of it today.”
Namjoon grimaces.
“Yeah, about that…” he begins as he takes the steps down to be on equal ground as you. Your heart is spinning wildly. He’s so close to you. He’s talking to you. On any other day you’d be erupting towards the sky like a firework. But today isn’t any other day.
“I feel like I should apologize,” he states. “I don’t know what happened. I didn’t plan it or anything.”
Damn him and his kindness. Damn him and his cute, awkward smile.
“No, no,” you assure. “I know you didn’t. You don’t have to apologize.”
It’s hard to make eye contact with the man. You want to, know it’s important in intense conversations like this, but the thought of him seeing you—really seeing you makes you ache inside.
“It was a really shitty prank,” he begins. “I’m sure you don’t even know who I am, let alone have a crush on me.”
For the millionth time that day, your face heats to a near boil. You stammer and you’re sure you’ve blown any chance at even thinking about a date with Namjoon.
“Oh, uh, right,” you seek an answer, beg your brain to pick something to say that doesn’t make you sound stupid. “I do.”
“You do what?” He’s confused and you widen your eyes at what just left your mouth.
“I do know you! I mean, I do have a crush on you! Oh, fuck,” you shove your face into your hands. “Please, ignore that. I need to go. Sorry!” You don’t give him a chance to reply, you book it out of the stairway as fast as your heels will take you.
Today was the worst day you’ve suffered through in your life.
The next few days aren’t much better.
Not only are you “coffee girl”, you’re now also sarcastically called “Namjoon’s girl”. As much as you hate your initial title, you’d prefer it to the new one they throw at you as you walk by.
Jimin rats out Jungkook and Chungha to the bosses. They get two weeks probation and they have to write you apology letters if they wish to keep their permanent files clean of any reprimands. It’s a slap on the wrist, and everyone involved knows it. Jimin is furious and wants the boss to reconsider. You tell him not to push it. You’d rather this be over and everyone to forget it even happened. Jimin unwillingly agrees.
You’re working at your desk, earphones shoved in your ears to diffuse the gossip in the room, when you feel a tap on your shoulder. You turn and are greeted with the face of Judas Iscariot himself, Jeon Jungkook.
“Hi,” he sounds sheepish, cheeks reddening.
You narrow your eyes at him, sharper than steel. “What the fuck do you want?”
He winces, knowing he deserved that. “Well, I just wanted to apologize. I know they told me to write you a letter, but it seems too impersonal…”.
You can’t believe Jungkook is sucking his ego up and actually coming to you to apologize. You thought he’d for sure be the one to cop out and send a shitty letter.
He continues.
“I just wanted to let you know that I’m sorry that all went down. I didn’t mean to tell her. She got me drunk and said she saw me eating lunch with you and Jimin. I think she was jealous or something and it slipped out. I know that’s not an excuse. I fucked up your trust and Jimin’s trust. But I just wanted you to know I didn’t do it to be an asshole. She sort of duped me.”
You pause as you take in the man’s apology. He didn’t have to come to you in person. He could have easily taken the shitty route and half-assed a letter to you. But he didn't, and he owned up to his mistake. God dammit.
“I appreciate your apology, Jungkook,” you sigh and you see his body visibly relax. “I’m still mad, but I guess the anger is at her for doing it in the first place. I’m sorry she tricked you.”
He breathes a sigh of relief and kneels down beside you. “I’m really happy you believe me. I was worried you were going to kick me in the nuts.
“I won’t lie, I thought about it.”
He smiles with you, and you feel like this is the restart of a friendship. “I definitely deserved it.”
You shrug and smile. “Jimin would kill me for hurting you. He might even kill me for thinking about hurting you.”
Jungkook’s smile drops at the name of your best friend. Yikes. Looks like there’s still trouble in paradise.
“I think you’d be in similar company with Jimin right now. He’s not speaking to me.”
You let out a breath through your nose. “Yeah, he’s a little protective of me.”
“For good reason,” he admits. “You’re like a cute little flower. A cute nerdy flower.”
“Jungkook,” you warn. “I just forgave you after I was humiliated in front of the entire company. I’d be careful with calling me nerdy right now.”
“Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it in a bad way.”
It’s hard to stay mad at the boy, no matter how much you dislike his reputation around the office. The fact that he humbled himself enough to seek you out and apologize is proof enough to you of his character.
“It’s okay, Jungkook. I forgive you,” you smile. “Thank you for apologizing.”
He rubs the back of his neck anxiously as his cheeks flare red.
“Yeah, it felt pretty shitty to just… do anything else. Plus, you seem really cool.”
“You seem great, too, Jungkook.”
He smiles and pulls you in for a hug, catching you off guard. For the fuckboy type, he’s surprisingly sensitive and soft. You like that about him.
“I’ll see you around, okay?” He says as he pulls away from you.
“Maybe you should apologize to Jimin, too?”
His smile drops, but he nods anyway. “Yeah, maybe I’ll go find him now.”
“Good luck,” you offer with a pat on his shoulder.
With a sad smile, he turns and heads down the hallway towards the HR department. You pray Jimin shows mercy to the handsome boy.
A few weeks go by, and you’re sure that everyone has forgotten about you and your most embarrassing moment to date. You make the coffee, you calculate the numbers, everyone ignores you. Things return to relative normalcy.
Until it doesn't. The moment you think you're safe is the moment your guard comes down and everything falls apart around you.
It's when you're in the staff kitchen, grinding fresh beans to brew a second pot of coffee, that it happens.
The kitchen is fuller than usual. You normally try to wait until the lunchtime crowd dwindles and leaves to make your second pot, but you're so desperate for the caffeine that you can't find it in you to care.
You trudge into the kitchen with your handy coffee mug clutched in your tired hands and head towards the cupboards to grind up the beans.
There's a few groups of coworkers lingering in the room, and as your grinder whirs the beans around into a powder, you chance a look around to see who's among the crowd.
Your eyes flick immediately to where a hearty laugh erupts. It makes your heart still in your throat. Namjoon sits with his usual crowd of friends, hand gripping a homemade sandwich while the other assists him in telling his story to his friends. He pays you no mind—why would he?—and you can't help but stare at the way his dark brown hair lays perfectly against his forehead, and his eyes crinkle so cutely at the edges when he smiles.
You nearly forget about the coffee grounds—you're snapped out of your Namjoon-induced trance when suddenly a woman's laugh echoes around the room.
"Look at her," the voice states.
You peer up and see a girl you vaguely recognize. Is she from Marketing? Or perhaps Sales? You’re not sure, but she’s staring at you with a sneer.
“She’s so weirdly obsessed with Namjoon. It’s so creepy.”
Your face turns cherry red and you’re sure your lungs stop functioning. The air your body needs to breathe freezes and your chest aches.
Namjoon turns to look at the girl before he looks and sees you grasping your coffee grounds tightly.
“Chungha was right—it’s so weird. Namjoon, you should talk to HR about this!”
Namjoon turns back to the gossiping coworker and frowns. “Can you leave it alone? She wasn’t even doing anything.”
The girl huffs and crosses her arms over her chest and looks back at Namjoon.
“How can you stand to be in the same room as her? She clearly thinks she has a chance with you.”
Her words come out like a bite. She punctuates her point with a harsh laugh and the group around her mumbles and chuckles in agreement.
You’re desperately grabbing at anything you can, wanting to leave as quickly as possible before you’re embarrassed further.
“Well, she does!” Namjoon replies loudly, annoyance written in his features. “I was actually going to ask her to dinner this weekend in private, but since everyone is so fucking interested in my love life, I have to do it publicly.”
The room falls silent, and your favorite mug falls out from your hands and shatters on the floor. All sets of eyes stare at you while yours widen with disbelief—you don't even care that you’re standing in a pool of old coffee and shattered ceramic.
Namjoon stands and heads over to you, bending down to pick up the shards of your coffee mug. You take a few stunted breaths to kneel and help.
His eyes peer into yours. They’re warm—a chocolate brown color that makes you feel safe.
“What do you say?” He asks with a smile so gentle it nearly breaks your heart. “Will you let me take you out this weekend?”
You’re gaping like a fish and the surrounding room is silent—bated breath waiting for your reply.
“Yes, I would l-love that.”
His smile turns even brighter, and he stands to throw the broken mug away.
“I’ll email you the details, okay?”
Your head nods dumbly without thinking. His eyes sparkle as he smiles at you, and he extends his hand down to you to assist you off the floor. As your hand slips into his, you can’t help but feel how soft and strong he feels. You wonder what his hand would feel like caressing your face, smoothing down the expanse of your bare back, running down the length of your body.
The thoughts shake out of you as he winks and kisses your hand gently, causing the gossiping coworker to grunt her disapproval and for murmurs of shock to echo around the room.
“I’ll talk to you later, doll.” Namjoon winks at you before he grabs his sandwich and leaves the room, gesturing to his crew to follow along.
The place on your hand felt warm where his lips once lingered. You no longer cared about the angry glares from the rest of your coworkers. Your heart beats wildly in your chest, and you leave the kitchen nearly floating on cloud nine.
Email from: Kim Namjoon
Sent: 3:06 pm
Subject: Hey good lookin ;)
Hey!
Just wanted to see how you are! I’m sorry about what happened at lunchtime. That was super petty and uncalled for. I really wanted to ask you out, and I hope I didn’t embarrass you too much by doing it in front of everyone.
I was wondering if you’d like to go out this Friday night after work? Say around 7? If you send me your address, I’ll pick you up.
Let me know!
Xoxo, Joon
You’re sure if you weren’t sitting in your tiny cubicle, you’d be screaming your lungs out.
The second the notification of the email came through, direct from the man of your desires himself, your body froze.
You re-read the message, over and over and over.
The winky emoji, the xoxo, the nickname ‘joon’. It’s all so much and makes the grin on your face threaten to split your lips in half.
Your fingers press the “FWD” button and you quickly send the message to Jimin, before you stand demurely, attempting to give off an air of professional confidence. You need to talk to Jimin, now.
As soon as you’re out of the eyesight of suspicious coworkers, you bolt down the hallway towards Human Resources. Your high heels click loudly on the tiled floor, but the sound doesn’t even register in your mind. All you can think about is Namjoon, the email, the press of his lips on your hand, the way his smile made you feel as if you could fly.
The door to HR swings open with your tight grip around the doorknob, and you open your mouth to call to Jimin, the lone employee, when you’re startled by the sight ahead of you.
Jimin sits on the edge of his expansive desk with his arms thrown around Jungkook’s neck and is clearly engaged in a deep, sensual kiss. At the sound of the door opening, they quickly break apart, with matching cherry red blushes on their cheeks and mused hair.
“Oh, shit,” you gasp.
The men are silent and you can’t help but giggle after a moment passes. “I’ll take it you two made up?”
Jungkook flashes you a dopey grin, one that gives you an answer, while Jimin smirks haughtily.
“Jungkook and I were just discussing, umm… his 401k.”
Jungkook looks at the blonde boy for a moment, confused, before he gets it. “Yeah! Totally. Retirement. Love to t-talk about it?”
You laugh out loud and walk towards the couple.
“I’m sure it was a titillating discussion,” you tease. “I have good news though, if it’s okay to interrupt this retirement planning session.”
Jimin nods and Jungkook rubs at the back of his neck awkwardly. “I guess I should leave?”
“It’s okay,” you smile. “I trust you.”
Jungkook smiles as if he’s just won the lottery. He looks between you and Jimin, face pure and excited like a puppy.
“What’s up?” Jimin asks as he moves to sit down at his desk.
“I forwarded you an email. Read it.”
Jimin nods and logs on to his posh computer, scrolling and clicking before narrowing his eyes and reading.
“Oh, my god.” Jimin’s face is shocked—it's written all over his features. “Namjoon asked you out?!”
Jungkook’s child-like grin turns into one of shock himself. He runs around to stand behind Jimin, eyes seeking over the words of the email.
“Well, hot damn,” Jungkook whistles. “He asked her out.”
Jimin exchanges a look with Jungkook, one that you’re not sure you can read. It quickly slips your mind, however, as you’re more focused on the task at hand.
“Can you come over tonight after work and help me pick out something to wear?” You ask excitedly.
Jimin smiles at you, a touch of sadness in his eyes, before he nods.
“Of course, babe,” he assures. “We’ll make sure you look nice and hot for the date with Mr. Kim.”
“Thank you!” You squeal as you wrap your arms around your best friend. He hugs you back before you scurry out of the office and back to your cubicle, itching to reply to the message.
Jimin sighs as the door to his office closes behind you.
“Kook, please don’t tell me he’s going to break her heart. He’s asking her out to make himself feel better about this, isn’t he?”
Jungkook slips his hand into Jimin’s and squeezes.
“I’ll find out, baby.”
Jimin smiles and nods appreciatively at the boy, before leaning up and kissing him.
Jungkook smiles against his lips, and is determined to ensure the young HR specialist never hates him again, even if he has to go behind his hyung’s back to ensure his new boyfriend’s happiness.
Jungkook has one mission now, and that’s ensuring Namjoon takes you on the greatest date known to man.
He grills Jimin with questions about what you like over dinner one night. Jimin finds it endearing that Jungkook is so eager to rectify his mistakes, but he still can’t help but worry that Namjoon is doing this to save face—not because he actually likes you.
“So, what does she like doing?” Jungkook asks as he spins his pasta around his chopsticks idly.
Jimin smiles as he takes a bite of the ramen Jungkook has thoughtfully prepared for their stay-at-home date.
“I’ve told you already! She’s easy to figure out.” Jimin pats Jungkook’s hand gently. “She loves cooking and baking, working out, daydreaming about Namjoon.”
“Cooking, hm,” Jungkook looks thoughtful as he takes a bite. “I think Namjoon can work with that. I’ll let him know!”
Jimin tries to hide the anxiety brewing in his stomach. He’s had to plaster on a fake smile for you while you tried on different outfits, wondering which will be the one to finally convince Namjoon he is the one for you. It’s hard to fake it around his boyfriend, too—but something tugs in his stomach that flares the cynical side of him.
Namjoon went from not knowing of your existence, to watching you get publicly embarrassed in a matter of minutes. While Namjoon isn’t a terrible guy, Jimin knows he doesn’t like anything to tarnish the gentleman reputation he’s built in the office. And as much as Jimin likes him, and surely likes his friend Jungkook, he can’t help but feel skeptical.
Jungkook hurriedly pulls out his phone and types away, letting his elder friend know of what he’s found out. Jimin swallows his food, and his pride, and hopes to god his growing cynicism is wrong.
Friday comes slower than you’d like. You wake up every day during the week, one day closer, and your eagerness hits peak levels. Namjoon sees you in the hallways during the week and winks at you, hands shoved in his tight slacks that make you salivate.
He emails you again Thursday afternoon, confirming things and getting your address. You reply in nanoseconds, uncaring how overeager you come off.
By the time your alarm clock rings on Friday morning, you’ve already been awake for 4 hours.
All you can do is daydream about the date, the way his hand fits into yours, the warmth of his eyes when he smiles at you.
It’s what fuels you through work.
You hope to god the numbers you’re attempting to work during the day come out right, because your mind is elsewhere for more than most of the day. There isn’t enough coffee in the world, but also your body feels as if you’ve overdosed on caffeine already.
The clock eeks towards 5:00 pm and you’re bolting out the door at 4:56 to head home and get ready for your date.
Jimin attempts to meet you before you leave, but your desk is cold and empty by the time he gets there.
He sighs and heads back towards his office to gather his things, waving bye to various coworkers as they file out of the corporate building.
He turns the corner towards his office but stops in his tracks as he sees Namjoon’s back to him, phone pressed to his ear.
“Baby, I’ll come over later tonight, okay?” Namjoon speaks into the phone.
Jimin feels his heart fall into the pit of his stomach. He retreats and hides behind a wall, ear carefully peeled to listen to the tall man’s conversation.
“I’m going on this date with that chick from work,” he sighs. “It won’t last more than a few hours. Poor girl has a crush on me and you know the usual assholes won’t leave her alone.”
Jimin bites his lip and clenches his fist. Namjoon thinks he means well, but he knows his suspicions have been confirmed, and he’s torn inside. He wants to tell you, to warn you not to get too invested in the man, but he also has no interest in popping the bubble you’ve been in since the day he asked you out.
Jimin lets it simmer for now. He decides he’ll monitor Namjoon and cut things off if it appears the man strings you along for fun.
Namjoon finishes his phone call with a promise to see whoever is on the other end of the phone later that night, and Jimin quickly pulls out his phone and fakes a conversation with no one when he hears the man approach.
“Oh, Kookie,” Jimin giggles, leaning against the wall casually. “I can’t wait to see you tonight, either, babe.”
Namjoon walks towards Jimin and makes eye contact with the HR specialist.
“Bye, Kook! See you tonight, baby.” Jimin finishes up the fake phone call as Namjoon arrives next to him, and he plasters on his best fake smile.
“Congrats on you and Jungkook,” he speaks sincerely.
Jimin hates how nice he is, hates that he’s a nice guy who gets too wrapped up in his own good looks and reputation.
“Thanks, Namjoon,” Jimin smiles uneasily. “You too! Have fun on your date tonight.”
Namjoon’s face lights up and Jimin desperately wishes he could go back in time to 30 seconds ago, before he heard the conversation, and believe that Namjoon truly wanted to date you.
“Thanks, should be fun, huh?” He winks and nudges Jimin, before he waves a goodbye and continues out the door.
Jimin pulls his phone out of his pocket and dials the number of his boyfriend.
“Hey, baby. We’ve got a problem.”
tag list! - @jimidol @aretha170 @dearbambideer
#kim namjoon smut#kim namjoon#bts smut#bts fics#namjoon smut#out of my league#knj#knj smut#rap monster smut#JOOOOOOOOOONie
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fifty bucks & six months.
spencer reid x gender neutral reader
new relationship, secret keeping nonsense, 4.5k words, ao3
a/n; turns out i love writing texting fic but tumblr destroys the formatting rip
zero months.
You smile conspiratorially, extending a pinkie towards Spencer and he gives you a skeptical look.
“You know the odds of being found out immediately are-” he starts, but you cut him off.
“Astronomical, I know. I know. But don’t you think it’ll be fun to see how long we can push it?” you wheedle, not caring that your voice sounds more like begging than is strictly dignified because seeing the way Spencer’s nose crinkles in amusement at your heavy handed persuasion is too adorable to pass up. You scoot closer on the couch, tapping the end of his nose with your pinkie finger, letting him catch your hand between his as you continue “I think we’ve got a good shot at hiding it for a little while. It would be like a game.”
Spencer draws your captive hand to his lips, brushing them across your knuckles and watching fondly as you forge ahead in your campaign to persuade him, enjoying the show and the attention too much to tell you he’s already on board. Your eyes are shining with the prospect of the caper, and you’ve made no move to take your hand back from him, and Spencer’s pretty sure he’d be more than happy to sit with you in this moment forever. “I mean-” you go on, gesturing animatedly with your free hand, “you’re like-a really good liar when you want to be. And everyone else always forgets how good you are at it.”
He snorts at that and the sound makes you light up, eyes tracking the arch of his brows, the warmth in his soft brown eyes, memorising the way he looks like this; utterly unbothered, completely at ease. It might be your favourite version of him, but that race has always been a tight one with no clear winner in sight. You have lots of favourite versions of Spencer. Twisting your hand in his, you tangle your fingers together, savouring the way you feel his thumb glide delicately along your skin and the unhidden joy in his face at the simple show of affection.
Time to play your trump card.
“$50 says we can hide it from the whole group for at least six months. If everyone figures it out before then, you win. But if not everyone has worked it out by then, I win.”
The mischievous shine in your eyes is irresistible, and Spencer smiles, disentangling one of his hands from yours to extend his own pinky finger.
“You’re on.”
The words barely make it out of his mouth before you’re colliding with him, pressing your lips to his.
two months.
“So, how long has this whole thing been going on?” Derek’s question catches Spencer off guard, and, based on the way he can see you freeze in his peripheral vision, takes you by surprise as well. Sliding into the driver's seat of the SUV, Derek continues “I hope you didn’t think you were gonna be able to keep me in the dark for long, pretty boy. You should know better than that.”
Following mechanically after him, Spencer takes the passenger seat, trying to frame his next statement as carefully as possible as he hears your door close and the car start. “We were-going to tell you guys-” he begins uncomfortably, glancing back to you for support, but you look just as on edge as he feels. “We were just gonna-keep it to ourselves for a while-before telling Hotch and everything-” he tries again, the mounting tension levering his shoulders higher and higher with every passing moment, but then Derek just laughs, shaking his head.
“Hey, I’m happy for you, kid. For both of you.” He spares a look at you in the back seat through the rear view mirror, and you can feel the tension in your jaw relax, the furrows in your brow straightening out at the note of approval in Derek’s voice. “I’m glad you two finally figured it out,” he says, fondly, and you laugh.
“I bet Spence we could keep it from you guys at least six months,” you explain, reaching forwards through the centre console to link your pinky with Spencer’s, and the touch of your hand releases the last of the tension he had been harbouring as he covers your hand with the other one of his own. He knows Derek clocks the motion, filing it away in his mind somewhere, but he doesn’t care about the scrutiny so much right now. Not when your hand is so warm and comfortable in his.
Derek reaches for the dial on the radio and flicks through the channel, thinking about something, and as you watch, a slow mischievous smirk spreads across his face a moment later before he glances first at Spencer and then at you.
“I’ll tell you what,” he says to you, and Spencer can feel a familiar grin tugging at his own lips as he watches a plan take shape in his friend’s eyes. “I’m happy to sit on this information for a while for a cut of the winnings from whichever one of you comes out on top.” He snorts good naturedly as he continues “I have my own bet to win with Prentiss, so if you two help me win that one, I’ll cut you in too.”
“A quid pro quo of sorts,” Spencer says slowly, and he feels your fingers tighten around his, as you snort softly, and he knows instinctually you’re grinning the same way you always do when you’re winning a game. “I think we can do that.”
Derek grins, turning the music up as he nods, eyes on the road. “Then you two love birds have got yourselves a deal.”
two months and two weeks.
PG: youre not as slick as you think you are ;)
YN: ???
PG: ;)))))))))
you should invest in some concealer for your work bag sweetness
or tell the good doctor to pay more attention to whats visible in your work clothes
YN: oh my fucking god
wait how do you even know thats how that happened
PG: im all knowing and all seeing im like the omnipotent goddess of the fbi
YN: derek blabbed
PG: he sang like a canary
but also im an omnipotent goddess
im also totally clued in on the whole bet situation with em so for the low low price of every single juicy detail about how this adorableness went down you can buy my silence
:)
YN: im getting derek decaf coffee on all coffee runs from now on >:(
traitors dont get caffeine
PG: darling sweet angel
i need deets
all of them
like immediately
YN: >:(
fine
ok so. after that case down in georgia a few months ago? the weird one? with the creepy mother son thing?
PG: omg yuck pls dont remind me im here for the CUTENESS not the MURDER
YN: sorryyyyyyy
anyway so spence was like being super weird about it all on the plane and whatever but he was doing that super annoying thing where he ignores it and says hes fine so everyone leaves him alone
PG: YEAH why does everyone here do that ALL THE TIME its SO annoyingggg
YN: ikr its insufferable and like super not subtle
ANYWAY. spence was being weird and whatever and i just. refused to let him sulk on his own or whatever like i could tell there was something bothering him and so after work i insisted that we were gonna get like shitty diner food or whatever and watch a movie
and he knows better than to say no to me
PG: smart boy
YN: so we got fries and milkshakes and then went back to his place to watch a movie
and he was still like weird and silent and like brooding yknow? but whatever just figured hed talk about it when he was ready so i put on a movie and offered to make popcorn and then he was just staring at me and he looked so SAD and TIRED and i thought id done something wrong like the poor guy looked like he was gonna cry and i was panicking over fucking popcorn and then he says
‘why are you always so nice to me?’
PG: oh my god hes like if a sad victorian orphan was actually a triplicate phd holder
YN: i was SO thrown off i was like spencer.
spencer were best friends. ive been forcing you to hang out with me for years now why do you THINK im being nice to you its bc i care about you asshole
and then.
like after another million years
after letting me sweat it out over whether hes about to cry for like fucking years
the asshole grabs my hand and says.
i shit you not.
‘you know im in love with you, right?’
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PG: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YN: anyway hes my boyfriend now :’)
dont tell anyone tho
gotta win the bet
four months.
Lingering by the elevator, you glance around at the uncharacteristically silent office building, waiting for Spencer to leave the bullpen. The sound of his footfalls drawing nearer makes you smile and you mentally applaud yourself for suggesting the two of you remained behind after disembarking from the plane, taking advantage of the manufactured privacy to take the same car home, back to his apartment.
When he sees you waiting for him, he can’t help the soft fond smile that tugs at his face, as he reaches for your hand, sliding his fingers into yours with a gentle squeeze, the quiet of the building allowing him to indulge in the show of affection. You return the squeeze, leaning your head on his shoulder with a yawn and as he presses a fond kiss to your temple he’s rewarded by a sleepy hum of approval from you that sends a rush of quiet joy shooting through him.
“At least we won’t be sleeping in hotel beds again tonight,” you say, voice weary, and Spencer nods as he shuffles you into the elevator. The doors slide shut and the elevator starts to move and in the moment of absolute privacy, you steal a kiss, tilting your chin up to catch his lips with yours, revelling in the soft huff of surprise he lets out, even as he smiles against your mouth. Even after months, the simple act of kissing Spencer still feels new and thrilling somehow, like you can’t quite believe it’s something you’re allowed to do.
His nose brushes yours and he breathes “unless something big comes up, we get a sleep in tomorrow too,” and the way you beam at him sends his heart racing in his chest, unable to look away from the fondness shining in your eyes.
As the two of you exit the elevator and make your way through the Bureau car park, you tuck yourself against his side, wedging yourself under his arm with a happy sigh, eager to get yourself horizontal and asleep as fast as possible. Spencer brushes his lips against your temple again as the two of you close in on his car, almost free and clear of the office when a voice behind the two of you brings you up short.
“Reid?”
Spencer is reacting before his mind catches up, turning on his heel towards the sound of Hotch’s voice echoing through the parking lot, conscious of the incriminating way you’re still tucked against his side, even as his brain is rifling frantically through any possible excuses for the current circumstances.
“Hotch-” you step away from Spencer, cheeks flaming, not wanting to chance a look at him. “I-we-thought everyone else had gone home,” you trail off lamely, trying your hardest not to balk under Hotch’s ominously impassive scrutiny. A second passes, then another, and the short silence feels like months, or years even as the three of you stand locked in a stalemate.
“I take it the two of you would prefer to keep this under wraps?” He asks, finally, and it registers with Spencer, somewhat belatedly, that Hotch’s tone isn’t admonishing. It isn’t enough to dissipate the tension coiling in Spencer’s muscles just yet, but he spares a glance at you as he nods, and a moment later, Hotch gives the two of you a curt nod of his own. “I’ll tell you what,” he says, a shade of irony colouring his voice. “If you two fill out the paperwork for in-team relationships for me, I’ll keep it to myself. I understand privacy is hard to come by in our office.”
The words take a while to fully sink in, and you’re conscious that you’re standing there blinking and gaping at your boss like a bemused fish for a good few seconds before you’ve composed yourself enough to say “absolutely, sir. Of course. Thank you.”
Hotch nods again, heading towards his own car, and as he passes the two of you, a brief smile flashes across his face.
“Congratulations, you two. Get some sleep.”
four months and three weeks.
Spencer isn’t sure how late it is, but he knows you’re not asleep yet, the faint glow of your phone screen casting faint distorted shadows across his room as your free hand rests lightly on his chest. In the dark blue twilight of his room, the space feels undefined and dream like somehow, the line between his mind and his surroundings blurry or indistinct somehow, and as you huff out a near silent laugh at something on the screen in your hand, a thought rises to the surface of his thoughts like flotsam on an unwanted tide.
The more clinical part of his mind notes the autonomic response in his body, the way his heart lurches unpleasantly in his chest, heart rate rising with an influx of cortisol through his nervous system, automatically rifling through ways to control the anxiety response. Age old instinct surges forwards, starting to push his spiralling anxiety down out of sight so as not to bother you with it, but then your hand shifts infinitesimally on his chest, fingers curling in the soft fabric of his pyjama shirt, and for once his body is miles ahead of his brilliant mind, your name is leaving his lips before he’s really aware of it happening.
Your gaze flashes up from your phone at the sound of his voice, soft and hesitant, and you let the screen go dark as you set it down. You can feel Spencer’s heart hammering against his ribs under your palm, and your brows knit together in concern as you shift closer to his side, tracing gentle circles over his shirt with your fingertips, the repetitive motion intended to soothe, though you’re not sure if it’s for his benefit or yours.
“Yeah, baby?” You ask softly, working hard to keep the rising worry from your voice. After three years of friendship and almost six months of dating, you know him well enough to sense when his propensity for overthinking and catastrophizing is slipping out of his control. You can feel his chest rise as he inhales sharply, whatever he’s about to say cut off by second guessing, doing nothing to pacify your concern. “Spence? Is everything okay?” You ask again.
“This-bet-hiding our relationship-it’s-” he trails off, throat tight as he rolls onto his side, facing away from you, and smushing his face into the pillow, already wishing he hadn’t said anything. You’re the kindest person he’s ever met, but offering up this kind of raw insecurity feels like pulling teeth. Even if it’s you. Especially if it’s you. He doesn’t know if he’s ready to find out if you care about him enough to stay when his racing mind gets the better of him. The pillow muffles his voice as he says “never mind.”
You feel your own heart rate tic up in response to that, matching the wild beat of Spencer’s that you could feel under your palm only a second ago. “Baby, talk to me. What’s on your mind?”
He shakes his head, face still hidden in the pillow. “It’s stupid.”
He can feel the rush of your breath on his back as you sigh, and your voice is almost achingly patient as you say softly “it’s not stupid if it matters to you.” There’s a long pause, and you press yourself against his back, settling close and letting your hand slide over his side to rest on his chest, the heat of his skin sinking into yours even through his thin shirt. In spite of his height, he feels so small as you wrap yourself around him, drawing closer, trying to reassure him without yet knowing what he needs to be reassured of. “Spence?”
“Are you ashamed of-being with me? Is that why you want to hide it?” The words are almost whispered, the sound almost lost against his pillow and your heart sinks, plummeting faster and further than if you’d dropped it off the side of a skyscraper. You should’ve known he might worry about that, should have realised it might have felt that way. Remorse rises hot and bitter in your throat and you swallow it down, trying to steady your voice.
“Spencer. Sweetheart. No. Never. I could never be ashamed. I love you. I’m so sorry.” Your arms wrap more tightly around him and you bury your face against the crook of his neck, the tension you can feel in every inch of his body making you feel more cruel and short-sighted than you already do. “I’m sorry I didn’t realise it might feel like that. I could never be ashamed of being with you, Spence. You’re my favourite person.” He takes the kind of shaky, shallow breath that comes with trying not to cry and your heart breaks a little more as one of his hands slowly moves to cover yours where it rests against his chest, just over his heart.
As his hand rests over yours, his thumb strokes lightly along your knuckles, and he knows you know him well enough to notice the way his hand trembles, just a little, because then your hand is shifting against his, turning to clumsily tangle your fingers with his, holding tighter to him as he tries to collect himself, drawing in a deep, shuddering breath as his eyes squeeze shut. He can hear the contrition in your voice as you say softly “I’ve never really liked having people know everything about what’s going on in my life. And I love our friends but-something like this, that’s so-special? So new? I wanted to be able to keep it to just us for a while.”
“I’m sorry.” His voice comes out a little shaky, scarcely more than a whisper, and it’s more than you can take as you pull back and gently force him to roll over to face you. He’s not crying, but his eyes are glassy and you recognise the fight to keep the tears unshed in the tight set of his jaw and the hard line of his lips. Leaning on your elbow, you lift your free hand to gently smooth out the furrows of his brow, letting your fingers linger along the planes of his face.
“Why are you sorry,” you ask gently. “You don’t need to be sorry, baby. Not for talking to me about things that bother you. We can tell everyone else tomorrow, if you want? We can call off the bet. Derek will live. If he’s got a problem with it I’ll turn all his shirts into crop tops.”
He can tell the joke is a last bid attempt to make him smile, to ease his fear, and it works. In spite of the anxious weight in his chest that feels like it’s pressing him into the mattress, Spencer laughs weakly, meeting your eyes, and he watches as a relieved smile breaks across your face, releasing your lower lip from where you’d trapped it worriedly between your teeth. The unmitigated affection that floods into your eyes renders him momentarily breathless as he takes in the moment. You’re still here, still trying to take care of him. Just as kind and steadfast as ever.
“No,” he says eventually, wrapping his arms around you, pulling you down on top of him like a living weighted blanket, letting your warmth chase the bulk of the tension from his body and luxuriating in the way you curl into him, one hand sliding into his hair. “We shouldn’t call off the bet. We still have to take Emily’s money, remember?”
Your sleepy laugh is the last thing he hears before his eyes close and the feel of your body wound around his lulls him to sleep.
five months.
SR: Can I talk to you about something?
DM: you dying or something?
that’s a really fuckin ominous text to recieve out of the blue
SR: I’m not dying, why would that be what you assumed? I just have a question.
DM: just a figure of speech
but what’s up?
SR: It’s about your bet with Emily. What’re the terms for it?
DM: wym?
SR: What exactly did you two make the bet about? What needs to happen in order for you to win the bet?
DM: does this count as collusion?
SR: Technically yes, but calling it collusion implies a certain degree of illegality.
DM: whatever
anyway the terms i made with em were that you’d make some kind of move before your birthday but she reckoned you were gonna need some kind of near death experience to do anything about your crush
why?
SR: I’m just making sure I have all the information.
DM: what’s going on pretty boy?
you planning something?
SR: Maybe.
DM: not a helpful answer reid
is everything good?
SR: Everything’s fine. We’re just figuring some stuff out. Nothing to worry about.
DM: is there something you’re not telling me?
SR: Don’t worry about it.
five months, three weeks and six days.
In the chaos that was the scramble from the briefing room to the jet, you haven’t yet had the chance to speak to Spencer about the outcome of his most recent thesis defence panel. By the time you’ve got a moment to breathe, the jet is underway, coasting across the country towards Montana, the whole team settled in for the six hour flight. You corner him in the tiny kitchen area of the jet as he’s making a mug of mediocre coffee, fingers tapping out an absent minded rhythm on the countertop as the coffee machine whirs, clearly not paying attention to anything outside of his head.
“Hey, boy genius.” He jumps, whirling around, eyes wide with surprise, and you smile fondly. “So?” You demand, and Spencer raises an eyebrow in confusion. You snort, rolling your eyes as you elaborate. “Your defence panel. Did it go okay?”
You’re shifting your weight and fidgeting restlessly with the belt loops on your pants and as he studies you for a moment, it occurs to Spencer that you’re nervous for him over this outcome. The thought brings an almost giddy smile to his face.
“You know this isn’t my first thesis defence panel, right?” He says mildly, deliberately burying the lede, enjoying the way you scowl in irritation too much to answer your question right away, too enamoured with this display of concern on his behalf.
“Don’t be difficult, Doctor Reid. It’s still a big deal.” He just shrugs noncommittally, and you huff, swatting his arm lightly. “So did it go well?” You ask again, eyes narrowing as you try to dissect his microexpressions, trying to discern the answer he seems determined to keep from you for yourself. A few seconds later, he relents.
“I can now add degree number six to my wall.” He confirms. Getting degrees doesn’t hold the same rush of pride for him now, the accomplishment feeling somewhat less exceptional as he acquires more of them, but the way your face lights up with pride for him reminds him how special the things he’s capable of can be. You’ve always made him feel like more than the sum of his parts somehow, like something infinitely more precious than he always assumed he is.
“I fucking knew it. That’s amazing, Spence,” you say, chest warm and full with pride and love, and his almost shy smile in return is enough to make a decision for you in a split second. Your hand dips into your back pocket, drawing something out, and you carefully hide it from view in your palm as Spencer tracks the motion curiously with his eyes.
Your eyes are shining with affection and something that looks like mischief and the way you’re smiling at him is more than enough to divert his attention as you step closer, just barely noticing as you slip something into his hand. You’re dangerously, distractingly close now, and he’s conscious, if somewhat distantly, that neither of you is concealed from the rest of the team, scant meters away in the seating area of the jet. But you’re smiling and close enough for him to feel your breath on his face and suddenly your lips are on his, and even after nearly seven months of being able to touch you like this, it’s enough to make him forget everything else as he melts into the contact, savouring the warmth of your skin and the faint smell of your shampoo.
You pull back a second later, the kiss over almost as soon as it started, but it’s enough to attract attention, and you can hear a belated ‘oh SHIT’ from Emily in the main cabin of the jet. In your peripheral vision, you can see money changing hands, your friends scrambling to react, but you don’t look at them, choosing to enjoy the bemused, affectionate look on Spencer’s face as his brain catches up to the events unfolding around the two of you.
“I was tired of keeping it a secret,” you say fondly, loud enough only for him to hear. “You win.”
Blinking in confusion, he finally tears his gaze away from yours, fingers uncurling to reveal the fifty dollar bill you had pressed into his palm right before you kissed him. The penny drops and he snorts with laughter, shaking his head in half hearted indignation as his other arm loops around you, pulling you in, letting you rest your head on his shoulder, hiding your face from the rest of the team as he kisses your temple, revelling in the way you wind yourself around him in response.
“I was gonna do this in like two days. I wanted you to win,” he murmurs against your hairline, and he can feel your faint laughter.
“Too bad, baby. I’m used to getting my way,” you say, pulling back to steal another quick kiss before peeling yourself out of his arms with a wink, turning to face the onslaught of ‘care to fucking explain that’ and ‘I fucking told you so’ from the rest of your friends, tugging him with you by your joined hands.
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid/you#spencer reid/reader#reid#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds imagine#dr spencer reid#my writing#spencer reid fluff
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Neighborly
overview: spencer has a new upstairs neighbor who arrives at the same time as the BAUs newest agent
genre: fluff
a/n: this one isnt very romantic but i think its cuteee and could definitely maybe have a part two or something if yall want so lmk what you think :)
masterlist
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Spencer could not stand his new upstairs neighbor.
she had moved in a few months ago. he had never met her (he assumed she was a girl based on the fall of her footsteps and the music she would sometimes blast) but she always seemed to be up when he was getting home from a case. infact, she was always home when he was and she paid absolutely no heed to her downstairs neighbor when she was walking around at 2 in the morning. not that Spencer could sleep anyway, but if he could, it would be exponentially more annoying.
he assumed she was some sort of first responder, maybe a nurse or doctor, because she had incredibly weird hours. or maybe she had no job, or worked from home. after all, he had never seen her and he had no proof of whether she was home when he was not.
he would come to work and occasionally complain to the team about her, how she was walking around and keeping him up.
"why don't you knock on her door and ask her to stop? thats what i would do but all my neighbors are quiet as a mouse." you offered, spinning nonchalantly on your chair one morning.
"yeah newbie is right. just ask her." morgan agreed.
"i cant do that! that would be rude." Spencer shook his head as he spoke.
you laughed, "think of it as being neighborly."
"i dont think telling someone theyre bothering you is very neighborly." he chuckled.
"bake her a cake that says 'kindly shut the hell up' in icing."
"i cant bake!" he whined
you laughed, ruffling his hair, "i dont know what to tell you. just suffer i guess."
he groaned, stifling a smile at the obscurity of your sentence. or maybe at the entire essence of your being. you could always make him smile, and that was a difficult thing to do. you had only been welcomed to the team a few months ago but in a matter of days he decided he probably liked you best on the whole team.
you definitely felt the same about him.
after some regular banter, everyone got to work, filling out and organizing old case files. paperwork days were a breeze for Spencer, almost therapeutic. writing up a report on a case and then being done with it, never having to think about it again after that.
you were breezing through work today as well, wanting to get home as soon as you possibly could. there was a new episode of your favorite show airing tonight and you did not want to miss it. and you had another reason.
theres is a rumor in your building about an elusive man that lives in the apartment below yours. all the old women on your floor always talk about him to you. they said he's rarely home, and when he is, you wouldn't know the difference. but he's very kind, often rushing to help them up the stairs or with groceries. and apparently, you always just miss each other by a matter of minutes.
so you've been trying to arrive home at different times, switching it up by a matter of minutes. but so far that hasn't worked.
when the clock struck 5pm you were ready to practically run out of the doors of the bullpen, excited to finally be on time to watch your show and maybe hopefully run into mystery man.
the team sent you confused glances as you rushed to stuff your belongings into your bag.
"my show!" is all you said explanation, as you slung your bag across your shoulder and speed walked out of the building, "bye guys!"
"she is something," prentiss chuckled after you left, sitting on the corner of your now empty desk.
"how does she have all that energy?" morgan laughed, shaking his head slightly.
"she takes her coffee/tea [ur coffee/tea order]. and she naps all the time." spencer's responded eyes glued to his computer screen. all eyes were now on him and his vast knowledge about you. he looked up and felt his face flush, "i- i think." he looked back at his computer in attempt to hide his embarrassment, "or maybe she just doesn't have an annoying upstairs neighbor keeping her up."
a couple of snickers followed as they dispersed back to their seats and began getting ready to go home as well. Spencer thought about his neighbor, wondering if he hurried home, maybe she wouldn't be there yet.
so he packed up and began heading out, hopping on the train and wondering if his hypothesis would be correct.
it wasn't.
when he got home he heard the rhythmic stomping of his upstairs neighbor dancing. he rolled his eyes; she was dancing to some short song that was likely the intro to a tv show. he sighed. there was no point in complaining now, it wasn't late at night and she turned down her tv volume once the song was done.
he collapsed exhausted on the couch, turning on some quiet piano as his eyes drooped closed.
your show finished after an hour and you started getting a little sleepy so you decided to take a nap on your couch.
you weren't sure how much time had passed but you woke up on the floor, your hip aching. you had fallen off of your couch in your sleep. you groaned as you sat up.
Spencer jolted awake at the sudden thud from upstairs, his eyes shooting open and his heart racing. he wasn't sure if he was more annoyed at the fact that she woke him up, or how she woke him up. but he felt bad, it sounded like a person falling. was she ok? what if she was hurt and he was sat here rolling his eyes about it? it was very late, his clock read 1:34am.
he was curious to meet her finally...and maybe going upstairs would make her more conscious and considerate of her poor, tired downstairs neighbor.
should he check on her?
you were startled by the knock at your door, glancing over at the clock and seeing how late it was. you cursed yourself for putting an obnoxious wreath on your door because it was covering your peep hole. you grabbed a baseball bat that you kept hidden under your table.
just as Spencer was about to walk away, the door opened and his eyes gazed up from the floor to finally see the face of his insufferable upstairs neighbor.
"Spencer? are you alright? come in. what are you doing at my house in the middle of the night?" you chuckled, tossing the baseball bat aside.
"no way.." he breathed in utter disbelief, looking around for a roommate that could be the one making all the noise.
"um...what?" you furrowed your eyebrows.
his mind moving a mile a minute and suddenly it all made sense. the music was the same as what you played in the car because it was your playlist. the steps were obviously female because they were yours that he'd often heard echo around the office. and you had never crossed paths because he took the train, and you took your car, so you would never leave at the same time. and you were always home when he was because you'd come back from cases at weird hours.
"i should have baked you a cake," he said finally breaking the silence.
you let out a confused laugh, "why?"
"so i could write 'kindly shut the hell up' on it with icing." he laughed as your eyes widened as your brain connected the dots.
"IM THE ANNOYING UPSTAIRS NEIGHBOR?!" your hand flew to cover your mouth, embarrassed at your volume level this late at night.
"i cant believe i didn't connect the dots!" he laughed, dumbfounded.
"wait.." your eyes grew impossibly wider, "if i'm you're annoying upstairs neighbor...that makes you mystery man!"
"mystery man?"
"can i explain tomorrow its like ass o'clock in the morning right now."
he laughed, "yes but only because someone woke me up from my nap."
"i was just being neighborly."
"mhm," he hummed.
you were sleepily staring at each other, dopey smiles complimenting the comfortable silence settling in the air. the sudden butterflies erupting in your stomach startled you into breaking the silence.
"goodnight Spencer," you whispered.
"goodnight y/n." he smiled, giving a small wave before heading down the stairs back to his own apartment.
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ultra mega super cool taglist:
@mac99martin @imhreid @spencersmagic @hollydaisy23 @raelady1184 @a-broken-pact @padfootswife @hey-there-angels @star-stuff-in-the-cosmos @sonnydoesrandomshit @coffeereid-deactivated20210303 @averyhotchner @laurakirsten0502 @reidyoulikeabook @rem-ariiana @spencerreid9
#criminal minds#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fluff#dr reid#reid#bau#bau x reader#derek morgan#emily prentiss#jennifer jereau#penelope garcia#aaron hotchner#david rossi#criminal minds fanfiction
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Late night chats
Musical beetlejuice x reader
Beej chats with you when he knows you're not listening
Fluff, pining
It was a long rough week, you were absolutely exhausted, you could barely stand, your knees wobbled as you finally arrived home, everyday this week has been hell between work using you to cover everyone and do everything, and personal family drama you had to attend too, you were glad to finally be home, safe, quiet, where nothing was expected of you, you could finally recharge.
Kicking your shoes off and tossing your bag and jacket aside to deal with later.
As you shamble to your bedroom, eager to swap your work clothes to something less constricting, you tap away on your phone, ordering dinner, you were too tired to cook anyway.
In your bedroom, you were quick to ditch your uniform in replacement for an over sized shirt and a pair of pajama pants.
Removing your bra felt like a weight has been lifted, as you slip on your pajamas you felt 100 pounds lighter, you flop down on your bed, barely clinging to being awake, as you were about to doze off, your phone blares to life with its loud ringtone, you groan in frustration, you force your body to get up and dig for your phone in your pants pocket, you miss the call by a second, before you could check who it was it buzzes again, you nearly drop the phone, startled, you fumble with the gadget, quickly answering the call, assuming it was your incompetent coworkers needing a question asked.
"What are you wearing?~"
You frown, knowing that voice anywhere
"Beetlejuice-"
"Oh baby, you will be wearing me by the time I'm done with you~" he moans
You scowl at this joke, too tired to really deal with his sense of humor, yes the ghoul could easily make you laugh with their lewd jokes, but honestly you were so tired nothing else really mattered.
"What-"
"So we gonna hook up? Or are you standing me up?"
"What?"
"Y/n what day is it?"
You're silent for longer then youd like to admit, beetlejuice starts before you could respond
"Friday, movie night, so, let's hear that magic b word sweetheart~" he chimes in a sing song tone.
As tired as you were, I guess a chill movie night would be fine, if you doze off during you could survive the teasing, wouldnt be the first time.
"Hello? Sugar? I'm not hearing my name come from that pretty little mouth of yours~"
You snap back, guess you zoned out longer then you thought, you utter a quick sorry, and shuffle to the living room.
"Beetlejuice, beetlejuice, beetlejuice"
Your apartment goes dark, you sigh, the ghoul had a thing for making an entrance
"HONEY IM HOME" the ghoul shouts, within seconds you are hoisted up from behind in a tight bear hug, Beetlejuice's head resting on you shoulder "babes I missed ya, you're such a mean little thing forgetting about our movie night, or were you just playing hard to get~" he purrs that last part.
Clearly embarrassed you try your best to squirm out of your predicament, the demon only cackles at your actions
"Keep wiggling like that sugar and your gonna give me a-"
The ghoul was interrupted by a knocking at your door, his eyes light up, before you could get a word in, you are dragged along to the front door
"Its showtime"
...
It was amazing how you were still able to order take out with all the nonsense beetlejuice did to the delivery guys, but it just goes to show that it's all about money, and let's be honest, nobody is gonna believe them, yeah sure, a zombie looking guy took the pizza and then turned into a pile of snakes.
...
Movie night was the same as always, Beej successfully snuggling up close with an arm around your shoulder, ever since the change of seasons he found you no longer took the lead on getting up close and personal, meaning he had to take initiative, not that he minded, since regardless of the temperature, you didnt mind him cuddling up, which was nice, you were so warm to the touch, he adored it.
Movie night was always a blast with the demon, yes you've seen this horror films 100 times, but watching them with Beej always made them more lively, his enthusiasm was so contagious. But as much fun as the evening together was you were officially out of energy, you tired in vain to keep awake, last movie night you dozed off midway through you delt with merciless teasing for a week, but all your effort was for not as you felt yourself slip into dreamland.
"Alright Doll what's up next in our-" the demon finally noticed you were out, he frowns, yeah it was cute, and sexy when you fell asleep on him, but it was really becoming kind of a pain on how hard you worked and how much it drained you, breathers are delicate, and besides he wanted to spend some real legit alone time with you.
The demon snaps his fingers and the two of you reappear in your bedroom, you being tucked into your bed, beej floats up beside you in a lounging position.
The ghoul stares at you, watching you naturally settle into a deep sleep, once a few moments have past and beetlejuice was sure you were out cold, he leans back placing his hands behind his head and let's out a deep sigh.
"Ya know doll, the other week I was in the netherworld for business, bumped into an old pal, buddy was going on and on about this demon he was banging, and boy, the look on his face when I told him I was banging a hot little breather, man, fucker was jealous, I mean we arent technically banging, yet." He whispered
This was a habit of Bj's chatting to you when you were asleep, he didnt need to sleep, so this was a nice way to pass the time.
"I showed him that photo of us lyds took, ya know the one, you were sitting on the couch playing with you phone and I had my head on your lap? Yeah, I keep it in my wallet, hell, it's the only thing in there" he snickers
You mumble something unintelligible, Beej hums in response
"Of course not sugar, I dont keep condoms in there, i prefer to go raw, demons cant get breathers pregnant anyways, wink wink"
The ghoul sighs reclining back and putting his hands behind his head
"Ya know, while I was down there, I had to file some paperwork with my Mom, the bitch she is, was going on and on about how I need to stop screwing around with breathers, she just doesnt get me, you know how it is"
You grumble in response
"Oh, yeah I know I told ya a sandworm ate her, shes back, it's a long story" he huffs with a scowl.
"Yeah she was saying how theres no point of me tricking another breather for a green card to live again, and I should leave you alone, fuck her, ya know, I dont need to trick ya for a green card, i know you're head over heels for me babes, and once you finally admit you love me and we fuck around for a bit, then I'll pop the question." He trails off looking in your direction, your were laying on your side facing the demon, as if you were awake listening to his every word, the demon sighs, staring at you sleeping form, god slash satan he had no idea what he did to deserve you, his sweet caring breather. He could always come back to you, you were all his, you just didnt know it yet, and that was fine, for now, soon he'll get you to confess your undying love.
"What would I do without our little chats" he sighs, his eyes fixated on you, a purple hue begins to creep into his hair, he sighs again
"The only time I can be honest with ya huh babes?"
You mumble in response
"Its not like I dont WANT to be honest with ya, its just, come on, you gonna believe me? A demon from hell falling head over heels for a sweet little breather? I can barely believe it" he stares at you, his hair now completely purple.
"You know I love ya right?" The confidence in his voice fading, the question sounding more desperate then anything, as if the ghoul needed you to know or hed die again.
"...beee" you sigh
Beetlejuice perks up at the sound of your voice "bee?" Were you dreaming of him? The ghoul could just melt at the thought
"...beetlejuice"
You were
The purple in the demon's hair began to mix with hints of pink, his little breather was dreaming of him, the ghoul leans into you, his face inches from yours, studying your face in hopes to crack the mystery of what kind of dream you were having
"...beetlejuice" Again you mumble his name in your sleep
"Do you dream about me often babes? Ya know I dream of you~" he chuckles
"Beetle-"
Before you could finish the b word the demon shakes you awake
"Fuck" you say with a start "beetlejuice what are you doing" you grumble less then thrilled to be woken like this
"You were about to say the b word 3 times babes, had to put a stop to it" he chuckles sheepishly "you were babbling my name away in your sleep, guess you missed me huh?" His nervousness turned into a more confident jab
"I was? I-" you babble
"If you REALLY miss me baby cakes I could slip into bed with ya? Keep ya company" he leans in inches from your face, a moment passes and beetlejuice can see the hesitation in your face, yes he's snuck into bed with you multiple times, but he always left before you noticed.
"I wont do anything creepy" he begs grasping your hand as if to reassure you
"....okay" you whisper
The ghoul's eyes light up at your response in a flash he sheds his suit, leaving only a pair of boxers and slides under the covers next to you, the ghoul is over come by the warmth beneath the covers, and quickly latches on to your even warmer body.
"Good night Bee" you sigh "I'll try not to say your name 3 times"
"Night sugar♡" he cuddles into your chest making you the bigger spoon, though you were the smaller out of the two of you.
As you drift back into a deep sleep beetlejuice begins talking to you again
"You really know how to spoil a guy huh sugar, I guess I can wait a little longer till you say the 3 little words, as long as ya keep treating me like this♡ good night y/n, I love you"
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a/n: this is my submission for @antoineroussel 's summer fic exchange 2k21! thank you for organizing this all demi. i recieved @timstuetzle and i am so excited to finally share this! im sorry it's so late but i had a lot of fun writing for Tim and i hope i did him justice! i made this a gender neutral reader again, so please enjoy my take on some friends to enemies to lovers :)
pairing: tim stützle x reader
word count: 18k+ (holey moley)
warnings: some angst, set in no covid-universe, a few swears, an odd timeline
disclaimer: this is a work of fiction and real person fiction if you don’t like that, please don’t read! the banner is made by me, with photos found from pinterest and the transparent made by @art-and-the-hockeys (thank you!!!)
The start of the season was your favourite. The chill of the rink, the sound of skate edges on the ice, the smell of skate sharpening- it was all so familiar. As an analyst, the start was the best. There were new lineups, new plays, and a chance to try new things. Considering this was your first year as a real analyst, not just checking over others' work, you were excited. You got to actually help to build a Stanley Cup winning team.
What you didn’t love was how everyone seemed to lose their heads and decide to run around the arena. You’d been looking for the coach of the Ottawa Senators for the past twenty minutes. You’d think the man would be in his office the first day back, but no. He decides to take a stroll to who-knows-where and leaves you to follow invisible breadcrumbs.
Eventually, you found yourself on one of the lower levels. You continued down the hallway, entering an open space with concrete floors. The bustle of the new season was in full swing as you swerved between various people working like gears in a machine. You tried to do your best to stay out of other people’s way but you still ended up walking into a hard surface.
“Oof!” Shit. Hard surfaces don’t usually talk. You looked up at what you ran into and saw two men staring at you. Both were wearing Senators hoodies but one was a taller blond and the other a slightly shorter brunet. The brunet has a backwards snapback on but that wasn't what made you stop in your tracks. It was his eyes. They were soft and welcoming, something like a home cooked meal, but they had a glint of adventure in them.
“Oh my gosh, I am so sorry! I wasn’t really looking where I was going. I am so sorry.” You apologized to the blond you ran into.
“Hey, all good. I’m-”
“Number 7.” You turned toward the brunet. “And...number 18, right?” When they both gave you a weird look, you shrugged. “I’m an analyst here so, uh, you’re just numbers to me.”
“Okay, ouch but you are the reason we’re going to be winning more games this season, so I'll give it to you. I’m Brady, and this is Jimmy.” The blond gestured to himself first, before gesturing beside him.
“It’s Tim, actually.”
You introduced yourself to the two players, before looking around the hallways. “Um, would either of you happen to know where the coach is? I can’t find him,” You held up the file folders in your hands. “I’ve got new numbers for him.”
“Oh yeah he’s probably close to the ice, we’ll show you.” Brady started down a hallway, both you and Tim falling in stride behind him. “So Numbers-”
“-Y/n-” You glared at Brady for the nickname, rolling your eyes as he continued on. From your peripheral vision, you saw the corners of Tim's mouth turn up.
“-If you don’t mind me saying….either you look really good for your age, or you aren’t old enough to be working here,” He continued, giving a glance your way.
You looked down at your shoes and gave a sigh. “I get that a lot, and I am young-er than my colleagues but I assure you, I am qualified to work for this organization.”
“Wasn’t doubting that, just seeing how much I get to tease ya. Jimmy’s the rookie,” He elbowed him and Tim tried to swerve around it, only to bump into a stack of pylons. Brady and you shared a grin at his expense. “So he gets all the teasing. Same for the numbers people. You’re the rookie.” He shrugged
“Well, I’m not actually a rookie anymore. This is my second year here,” You mentioned, looking towards the two guys. Brady looked impressed whereas Tim’s eyes went large and his jaw slack a little.
“How?” He asked, and you laughed. The three of you turned a corner, and you walked slightly faster to talk.
“I graduated high school pretty early. And then took my statistics undergrad at the University of Ottawa. I minored in sports studies and I met your GM at a conference for the department. When he found out I was in Ottawa alone, he kinda took me under his wing, checked in every now and again. When I graduated two years ago, he offered me an analyst position and I was lucky enough to land it. I love working here, even if I’m way younger than everyone else. Last year, I stayed in my office a lot, double checking people’s work but this year, they gave me more responsibility. I’m excited for the challenge.”
“You are going to be great.” Tim said, meeting your eyes, his gaze showing that his comment was genuine. You ducked away from his gaze but muttered a ‘thanks’. The three of you rounded another corner, Brady ducking out to talk to a reporter, but Tim said he’d help you find the coach.
You settled into a comfortable silence as you walked beside each other through the chilled hallways. He abruptly took a left turn, cutting you off and causing you to bump into him. You immediately apologized, this being the second time today you’d run into a hockey player.
“‘S my fault, I’m still getting used to the new arena,” He said, a sheepish smile appearing on his face. He nodded his head down the hallway, as a silent ‘after you’ and you started walking. As you got further down, you realized Tim walked you out to the bench. The light became brighter, the air a little crisper, and the floor turned from a concrete grey to a bright red. Your eyes wandered up, admiring the view from down here. You’d be truthful earlier, you’d only ever visited your office. But from down here, you could see everything- the thousands of seats, the banners hanging from the ceiling, the crystal white ice. You stood close to the wall, as if to try to intimidate a fly on a wall, seeing everything as if you weren’t there. You could feel Tim could up from behind you, letting you take it all in for the first time.
“That’s Coach,” He leaned closer to you as he pointed across the ice towards someone in a tracksuit. You nodded and although Tim dropped his hand, he stayed close to you. The coach eventually noticed the two of you and started to skate over to the bench. Tim cleared his throat and you looked at him.
“I got to- I have to go now, but, um, I’ll see you around?” You nodded to his question, a soft smile on your lips. He rocked back and forth on his heels, as if he knew he had to leave but he kept getting pulled towards you. “Good luck with the season.”
“Good luck with yours too.” At that he turned away from you, and you turned to the coach, pulling out your file folder to talk with him.
***
A week or two later and the start of the season was upon the Canadian Tire Centre. The home opener was in a few days and your week had been hectic, trying to get notes from practices and implement what you saw into your analysis. After a morning full of spreadsheets, you decided to take your lunch break in your sanctuary. Last year, the arena felt too big to stick around in on your lunch break. So you had headed outside, where you discovered a small hiking trail about a ten minute drive from work. It quickly became a place where you went whenever you needed to clear your head. And after the morning you had, it was the perfect place to go, so you hopped in your car and started towards it.
At the top of the hill, you put the car in park, grabbed your lunch bag and started towards your spot. It was past the picnic tables that had a nice view of the suburbs, but it wasn't secluded. Your spot was off the beaten path, but there was a small ledge with a perfect view of the arena, highway, and surrounding green spaces. You turn the corner, ducking under a tree branch, ready to exhale the heck of the morning you had.
But there was already someone sitting in your spot. Their head was down, but you recognized the logo and number 18 on their hoodie. Cautiously, you approached him.
“18...Is it okay if I sit here?” You asked, and his head shot up. He shot you a small smile and quick nod. You sat down, placing your bag in front of you, taking out a granola bar.
“You can call me Tim, you know. That is my name,” You gave him a shy smile and you could feel your cheeks heat up at his comment.
“I didn’t think anyone knew about this place, Tim,” You mentioned quietly. It felt weird, to be honest, to be sharing your spot with someone, but it didn’t feel like he was intruding.
“My city in Germany has a lot of parks. There’s a forest near my house where I’d go when I needed a break. This is the closest I could find near the rink. I hope you don’t mind?”
“Just don’t go telling the whole team about our place,” you winked at him and took a bite of your snack.
“I can keep a secret, don’t worry.” He laughed lightly and sent you a smile.
“I don’t know if you remember me but-”
“You’re the analyst, you graduated super early right? Y/n, yeah?”
“Yeah, that’s me,” You smiled at him. “So, how are you liking Ottawa?”
“It’s alright, I haven’t seen very much of it. The ice is very good. My house is nice.” He shrugged and you gaped at him.
“That’s all you’ve seen? So you haven’t been to Parliament Hill or ByWard market or…?” you trailed off when you saw him biting his bottom lip and slowly shaking his head. “Well, you are missing out, you should go see the city sometime.”
“Do you think you could show me around? You seem to know all the best places,” He offered. You met his eyes and nodded. He dug his phone out of his pocket, passing it over to you. You raised your eyebrows at the gesture but he just pushed his phone closer to you. Silently, you imputed your number, placing a small graph emoji beside your contact name. You handed it back to him and a small smirk graced his face when he saw the emoji, before he pursed his lips at the device. You furrowed your eyebrows.
“Sorry, it’s all good. Thank you. It’s- I have to go back now, but I’ll text you, yeah?” You nodded as he handed back your phone. He walked towards the parking lot, but turned around to wave at you before he disappeared around the bend.
Later that day as you sat in the stands, a clipboard and pen in your hands, you got a text from an unknown number.
Hi
It's 18 :)
You chuckled at his use of his number and texted him back.
i thought you said i could call you tim? :(
also it’s practice?? how are you on your phone?
It starts in a couple minutes
your teammates are already on the ice
Spying on me already??
it’s literally my job to watch you practice
Guess I'll see you in the stands then :)
Oh and I'm free this weekend for that showing of the city, team bonding’s on friday
i’ll check my schedule and get back to you
now get out on the ice or you’re going to be late :)
***
You had checked your schedule, and agreed to meet that Saturday. You said you’d pick him up since you knew more of the city. You didn't want to be late so you arrived five minutes early in front of Tim's place. He walked out in his signature backwards snapback, some curls poking out the front, and a monochromatic beige outfit. Waving animatedly at you, he jogged to the car, his ever present smile on his face.
The twenty minutes ride into the city was quiet yet comfortable. A few words were exchanged about how each other’s day was so far but nothing groundbreaking. The low hum of the engine filled the silence as you drove into the city.
After parking in a Superstore (‘Free parking in downtown Ottawa is hard to come by, Tim. We’re parking in the grocery store parking lot’) and walking a few blocks, you come to the far end of the market. Lined with local businesses and brick streets, it felt homey. Tim smiled as it reminded him of back home.
“So, what are we going to see first? Your school?” He asked as the two of you walked along the streets. You laughed and shook your head.
“Pfft no. It isn’t all that interesting. I figured we’d see some of my favourite places, if that’s okay?” He assured you it was and the two of you continued through the streets, Tim with his head down as you passed people. He wasn't famous just yet, but in Canada you find hockey fans at every corner. Soon, you arrived in a small plaza with coloured picnic tables and muskoka chairs.
“Ta-da!” You gestured to the large block letters that spelled ‘Ottawa’ in the middle of the space. “It’s not much, but you’ve got to be a tourist in your own city at least once right?” He laughed along with you and you got out your phone, ready to take a picture of him so he could send it to his parents. You thought he would want a picture of him but he was quick to insist you had to be in the picture as well.
“I’m sorry, but would you mind taking a picture of us?” You asked one of the girls who were taking turns with the Ottawa sign.
“Oh sure!” You stood beside him, between the two ‘T’s in Ottawa, his arm slung over your shoulders. You smiled and looked up at Tim to see him smiling as well- and not one of those classic boy coy half smiles, a genuine one. She took a few landscape and a few portrait ones before handing your phone back. “You two are such a cute couple!”
Before you could correct the girl, Tim answered for you. “We’re just friends actually.” She apologized profusely before rejoining her group. You shuffled your feet as an awkward silence overcame you for the first time since you’d met. Your body shivered and you promptly changed the subject.
“Hey, you hungry?” He shrugged and nodded. You nodded and led him away from the sign, through a few back alleys lined with a few merchants, home artists and such. You entered a building, bustling with people. It was long and narrow, with brick flooring and merchants on either side of the middle. There were lots of people, ranging from people doing their weekly grocery shopping to tourists looking for souvenirs. You weaved between strollers and friend groups, Tim grabbing your hand to avoid getting lost. He kept his head low, hoping it would disguise him enough. This day was about you and him, not you, him and the hockey world. Eventually, the two of you exited the indoor market and came to a small opening. Instead of staying in the opening, you turned left, tugging Tim across the street to two small shacks, one red and one blue. The red one had a classic fairytale vibe to it, with beige wainscotting, red painted window frames, and topped with a white and light brown canopy over the window. Underneath the canopy, there was a string of small Canadian flags.
“Do you trust me?” He arched one of his eyebrows but nodded. “I’ll be right back.” Confused, Tim stood there as you walked up the window, spending no time looking at the menu as you ordered. He looked above the shack to see in fancy lettering the word BeaverTails. When you came back, you were holding two paper containers and had a smile on your face. He looked at the sign and then back to the bags in your hands.
“A beaver’s… tail?” You laughed at him and handed him his BeaverTail.
“It’s not actually a beaver’s tail. It’s just a fried pastry that looks like one. They come in lots of flavours but I got you the best one, cinnamon sugar.” You could tell he was hesitant but bit into his and you took a bite of your own.
Almost instantly, he groaned. “Do you take every guy here? Wow. Oh my god,” He got cinnamon smeared over his chin and you laughed as he tried to wipe it off while holding his pastry.
“Hilarious Tim, but I’ll have you know you’re like my only friend here. So… no I don’t take anyone here.” He scoffed and you raised your eyebrows.
“You’re joking. How do you not have other friends? You’re great,”
“I started university as a 16 year math major. It’s not a surprise people didn’t want to talk to me. But it’s okay. I’m used to it by now.”
“Don’t you have people from home come and visit?”
You scoffed. “I don’t really get along with my mum. We moved around a lot when I was younger and I always sorta resented her for not seeing how it affected me. And then, when I got accepted to school out here, she sold the house and started travelling. Last I talked to her, she was in Tahiti.” He raised his eyebrows.
“What about your dad? Or brothers or sisters?” You swallowed your piece of BeaverTail before answering him.
“I have an older sister, Dani. But she’s eight years older than me, so we're not the closest. She checks in every week or so because she knows my mum doesn't. She’s never come out to visit though, she runs her own business back in Seattle.”
“It must be nice to have someone though. Especially when you were growing up. What about your dad?”
“I don’t- I don’t talk about my dad.” You picked at the pastry before changing the topic. “C’mon, you have to see this place.” You gestured to a side street and the two of you made your way towards your favourite destination. You exited beside a taller building and you pressed the button to allow the two of you to cross the street. As you were waiting for the light to turn, you turned to Tim.
“So, I’m guessing you don’t have any siblings then?”
“No, but the guys at the rink were like my brothers so it wasn’t bad.” The light turned red, and the ‘walk’ light turned on. You made your way across, staying close to each other as people walked both ways.
“Hockey tends to do that,”
“Is that why you picked to work in hockey?”
You glared at him as you made it across the street. “That’s personal.”
“We’re friends, aren’t we? Friends share personal stuff.”
“That’s… it’s just different.” You shook your head and lowered the volume of your voice. “Besides, we’re here.” The two of you had stopped in front of some shallow steps that led to a tall archway, with black statues underneath and on top of the arch. It had some engravings on it, both small and large letters. From where they were standing, Tim could make out some numbers, but not well enough to understand the significance. Behind the monument and slightly to the right was the green tipped roof and gothic architecture of the Parliament building.
“What is this place?” He tilted his head as he looked at the arch in the middle of the square. To him, it wasn’t anything special, perhaps another statue of one of the colonizers of the country.
“It’s Canada’s war memorial.” You whispered, and he nodded, clasping his hands in front of his body and lowering his head. “When I was going to school, I’d come here at least once a week.”
His head stayed where it was but he raised his eyes to meet yours. “Why?”
“I know it’s not exactly everyone’s favourite place...because I know so many people died for the country, but for me, it’s a place of silence. Of reflection. It reminds me to be grateful for everything I have. Some days school would be really bad, so this place was perfect to sit and remember that life isn’t bad at all. Not when I was in a safe country, not when I had an education, not when I had a warm house to go back to.”
He nodded. “That seems...perfect. Some days are too loud, there’s too many people saying stuff. I get that.” His voice was quiet as well, as he lifted his head to focus on the stonework and engravings. The two of you stood in silence in front of the memorial for a few minutes more before you tugged on his arm.
“See that building?” You leaned in close to him, your finger extending to point at a building in the distance, a little taller than the ones around it. “That’s the university’s mathematics and physics department. I had most of my classes in that building.” He nodded, leaning in closer to you, your heads almost touching. You lowered your hand and nodded with your head towards the way you came.
“C’mon, we’re not done yet. You’ve got to see the Parliament building.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and headed left towards it. You quickly grabbed his hand and pulled him right. “I’m the tour guide, remember? Trust me, there’s a better view.” You dropped his hand as he started to walk in time with you but you had to shove it in your pocket to replace the heat his hands gave you.
A quick ten minutes walk later and you stood atop a hill overlooking the river. It was a large park with benches and an eccentric art installation in the corner. You walked close to the peak of the hill and stopped, breathing in the fresh air.
“There is Canada’s capital building. It’s nicer to see it from here than from the front where there’s a bunch of tourists. Besides, from here, you get to see more of the architecture.” The building was across the river, its massiveness more pronounced from your viewpoint. There was a dome nearest the river that was covered in flying buttresses, each support beam having intricate details that stood out. The clock tower and green tinted roof completed the gothic look.
“This view is better. Quieter. It reminds me more of home,” You bump your shoulder against his lightly.
“Glad you like it.” The two of you stood in silence until Tim shivered, at which case you decided you should start heading back. If the hockey player was cold, it was cold enough for you too.
The walk and drive back was uneventful, aside from the two of you passing jokes back and forth. When it came to drop him off, he unbuckled his seatbelt but didn’t make an effort to leave the vehicle.
“How much for our snack? I’ll pay you back,”
You waved him off. “It was my treat, don’t worry about it.” He pursed his lips, then shook it. He pulled out his phone from his pocket. A few seconds later, your phone dinged. You glared at him as you opened the text to see an e-transfer. Before you could protest, he cut you off.
“You never said I couldn’t pay for your gas," He laughed, and despite your annoyance at the loophole, you found yourself laughing along with him. He had that effect on you; he seemed to be able to ease any tension you held. “I had a good time today. Maybe we could meet again sometime?”
“I’d like that. I’ll see you at the rink?” He nodded before getting out of your car, waving like he did that morning as you drove off to your place. When you arrived home, you saw a new text from him.
Can you send those pictures you took today?
You tried to suppress a smile, sending them over to which he responded with a ‘Thank youuuu’. You set your phone on your nightstand and turned off the light. Despite your efforts, you fell asleep with a smile on your face from a perfect day with a great person.
***
“Hey, Numbers!” You stopped in your tracks and turned around to see Brady sticking his head out of the dressing room. He had taken a liking to calling you that, especially as you had started hanging around the house more. It was nice, movie nights and sometimes you’d take a pre-game nap with Tim, you had even stayed for lunch at Tim’s request. At this point, it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary for Brady to shout the nickname from anywhere. Practice had ended and you had given your notes to the coach about what to focus on for the Toronto game. “You didn’t happen to see Jimmy, did you?” When you shook your head, his face scrunched into a small frown.
“Where’d he go? Didn’t media like just end?”
He shrugged. “He didn’t even bother to change from media, he just stalked out. He didn’t say anything to any of the guys, so I thought you might’ve seen him.”
“I’ll keep a lookout for him,” You told Brady before he returned to finish dressing and you returned to your office. But even after you’d settled back into your work, there was a feeling in your stomach you couldn’t quite place. Sending a quick text off to Tim, asking where he was, you dove back into work. But it only took five minutes before you were checking your phone, seeing if he’d read the text or responded. When neither happened, you gave him a call. It sent you straight to voicemail and you hung up before you could leave a message. The feeling in your stomach grew and you packed up your bag, knowing no more work would get done tonight. It wasn’t like Tim to sulk or get in his head; he was a generally happy guy. Something must have set him off for him to be acting this way -- even with you. And if it was something this big, there was only one spot he would’ve gone.
“Brady said you stalked out of media. Figured I’d find you here.” He turned around at the sound of your voice, his shoulders dropping a little. He shrugged, which you took as your cue to take a seat beside him at your lookout space. The sun was setting, the golden hour light reflecting on his stress lines, and the sky was littered with wispy clouds.
Your hands were in the pockets of your hoodie, your legs tucked together. Despite being here for close to six years, the Canadian chill always surprised you. You sat with your shoulder pressed to his, a silent symbol of you being there for him. With his head down, he mumbled something too quiet for you to hear, so you leaned your head down to hear him better. At your movement, he huffed and lifted his head.
“I’m supposed… They wanted me to come and make a difference and to help win games. But I’m not helping! I’m supposed to be putting up points and helping win games, but we’re still losing! Like, why do I suck?”
Your chest got tight at his words. “Tim…”
“You can’t deny it, the numbers say we’re losing.”
“Losing doesn’t mean you aren’t producing. This is your first year in the NHL, you wouldn’t be here if they didn’t think you were worth it. Hockey is a team sport, it isn’t just your job to win the game.”
“But they wouldn’t have gotten me right out of the World Juniors if they didn’t need me to start making an impact right away! They were counting on me. And I’m not living up to it….”
“You are nineteen years old. Nineteen. The five other rookies ahead of you in points are all at least two years older than you. Let that sink in. You have so many years ahead of you. And secondly, no one here is expecting you to turn this team around. McDavid’s first year he didn’t turn the team around. And sure, yeah, the next year, the Oilers had more success but guess what? They missed the playoffs the next three years. Hockey is a team sport, one person, not even McDavid, can completely turn a team around. No one is expecting you to turn this team around in one season. This isn’t on you.”
“But the numbers…”
“Are you going to trust the analyst on the numbers or the assholes on Twitter?” He glared at you but let you continue on. “If you really want to talk numbers, we aren’t last in the league anymore. We’ve beat the top team in the division a couple times now. You’re putting up points, you’re helping us win. Cut yourself some slack. You’re nineteen and living in a new country. This team isn’t expecting you to be Ottawa’s saviour, okay?”
“There’s pressure to be better though! Everywhere I go, I just see how I should be doing more, how if I don’t produce more, I’m going to be a draft bust. I’m the young guy, I’m supposed to be the new blood and be able to make a difference. I feel like I’m letting everyone down.” His words lingered in the sunset glow, a contrast to the darkness he was feeling. You fell silent at his outburst, the air feeling too quiet, even with his heavy breathing. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to take it out on you.”
You ignored his apology, knowing he would never intentionally hurt you. “I graduated with a 3.8 GPA. I didn’t have enough job experience but my grades were one of the only reasons I was able to get hired so young. My first year, all I did was double check other people’s stats and predictions, and it was okay. No one expected much out of me because I was young and they didn’t really give me any responsibilities. But this year… they’re looking to me more. Teams with more than two analysts are more likely to produce teams that make the playoffs. I’m number three; I should be helping make a better team. But I’m not. I’m not getting the numbers we need or the stats we need. I know more updated methods and technologies but...it’s just not working. I’m not finding solutions to problems that this team has had for years. And the board and my colleagues see that. I know I shouldn’t worry about them firing me, but I still do. I mean, I’m not producing, why would they keep me around? This wasn’t what they wanted when they gave me the job.”
“They won’t fire you, you’re doing your best. And you’re young, you graduated early. They have to give you a chance to prove yourself in the workplace before they fire you.”
“You wanna take your own advice?” He flushed at your words, but you smiled. “Thanks, though.” He nodded and looked out over the suburbs surrounding the arena.
“The pressure in this league sucks.” He said and you leaned your head on his shoulder.
“Yeah. It does. But we’ll get through it right?”
“We’ll figure something out. Together.” He placed his hand on your thigh and the two of you looked out at the sunset, his touch lingering on your body until the sun disappeared behind the horizon. Silently, he helped you to your feet, and walked you to your car, making sure you got in okay, before he got into his car. On the drive home, your chest felt lighter from the conversation.
***
The final buzzer rang, signalling a 4-2 win for the Senators. You smiled at the scoreboard and gathered your papers. The game was nothing spectacular, but for you, it was a career defining game. Some of the lines you'd suggested were risky, but you had the numbers to back it up, and it worked. It worked. The conversation with Tim earlier last week helped with your confidence to take risks in terms of your analytic advice.
You went back to your office after the game, wanting to type up a report of how you impacted tonight's outcome. If it worked this time, who's to say it couldn't work again? But in a higher stakes game? You felt like you were finally contributing to the team, and damn, it felt good.
Your office was barely even that. It was small, but you had a desk, a window, and your name on the door. It was enough for your first major gig. You'd made it a little homey-er with a small succulent and some motivational quotes. You opened up your laptop and began to type up a document report. The words flowed from your fingers and you used the numbers you counted from the box to back up your findings. Time seemed to stand still as you typed, the document becoming longer and longer.
A knock broke your train of thought and you looked up to see Tim poking his head through your office door. He had a shy smile on your face and you shook the writing haze out of your eyes.
"Hey! Come on in," He nodded, closing the door behind him before leaning against the wall. "You played a good game." His cheeks flushed and he lifted his hat, running his fingers through his hair.
"Thanks, thank you. Anyway, did you eat yet?"
"I mean, I had an iced coffee before the game and a granola bar during the second period. So yeah?" Immediately he started shaking his head and he pushed himself away from the wall. You open your hands as if to say 'what’?" and he outstretched his hand to you.
"Coffee and a granola bar isn't a meal. Let's go get some real food, I'm hungry." He made a grabby hand with his outstretched hand and you sighed.
"I have to finish my report, I can't." He sighed, pushed your laptop shut, and grabbed your hand.
"That can wait. Besides, the boys went out and I need a ride home." He flashed you a shy smile and you rolled your eyes, before picking up your bag and leaving your office with him. You tried not to notice how Tim was still holding onto your hand, but as he tugged you along to a quiet area of the concourse, it was difficult to do. He stopped at a small table with two bar stools. He let go of your hand, cold enveloping you, and you hung your bag on the back of the chair. As you hopped onto the chair, he stayed standing, tapping his fingers on the tabletop.
“What do you want to eat?" When you shook your head again, he pulled out his puppy dog eyes. "Tim, seriously, I'm fine."
"I'm getting some fries and you will eat some of them. Deal?" Your face pulled into a frown and he repeated himself. "Deal?"
"Yes, Mom, deal."
He gave himself a self assured smile. "Great. I'll be right back."
A few minutes later he came back with a container of fries and two small containers. He set them down in front of you before he got seated. A closer look at the container showed one was ketchup and the other was…
"Is this mayo?" He picked up a fry, dipped it in the white substance, and popped it into his mouth. With his mouth full, he nodded. "You eat your fries with mayonnaise?"
"You don't?"
"No!" You shook your head. He took another fry, dipped it again, and ate it.
"You have to try it, it's good!"
“No, no thank you. You can keep your weird German eating habits to yourself." You laughed, dipping a fry in ketchup before eating it.
"Nope, you've got to try one. Please?" You scrunched up your nose, and he held out a white coated french fry. You gave in, taking it from his hands and shoving it in your mouth. You chewed it slowly, contemplating the taste.
"It's...not horrible." He raised his eyebrows at you. "Fine, it's alright." He gave you another look, a small smile forming on his face despite his efforts to hide it. "Okay, okay, I like it. Happy?" He let out a loud laugh.
"Yes! I knew you'd like it!" You laughed a little with him, before dipping another fry in the mayo and popped it in your mouth. The two of you ate in silence, the sounds of the zamboni in the background.
"Why didn't you go out with the guys? You had a good game,"
He shrugged. "I wanted something quieter. Besides, I was hungry and the guys wanted to go out to a bar. Bar food isn't exactly a meal."
"Neither is french fries,"
"Well, maybe, you're just better company than the guys."
"Damn right, I am." You smiled, tapped his fry with yours in a makeshift sort of 'cheers' way. When the two of you had finished your snack, you picked up the container and threw it in the compost bin near the table. You grabbed your bag off the chair, holding up your car keys. He got up off the table, joining you in a slow walk towards the parking lot.
You wished the custodians a good night as the two of you left the arena, the street lights in the parking lot illuminating the way to your car. Silently, you unlocked the car and you both got in. You gave him your phone, telling him to pick any playlist he wanted while you started the car. He picked one of your favourite playlists, a mix of relaxing beats and soft music, which was perfect for late night drives.
"You should have some lo-fi on here, it's a lot like this. I think you'd like it," he said, after you had merged onto the highway.
"Yeah?" He only nodded, allowing a comfortable silence to come back to the car. The rest of the drive was easy, the road being mostly empty and the music filling the car. He gave you quiet directions to the house, more points and here's than actual directions but you were able to find it.
"Thank you for the ride," He said, once you’d put the car in park.
"Thanks for sharing your food with me,” He shook his head and smiled at you, the corners of his eyes crinkling.
“I’ll always share with you.” You caught his gaze, his brown eyes filled with sincerity. You could feel your cheeks flush and you waved him out of your car.
“I gotta get home too, you know.” You joked and he got out, popping his head back into the doorway for a second.
“Text me when you get home, yeah?” You murmured an ‘of course’ and he nodded, closing the car door and making his way to his front door. You waited until he entered the house before you drove away, turning on a lo-fi playlist from Spotify.
***
“Your turn to pick the movie, but no subtitles please, I’m too lazy to read today.” You handed Tim the remote for his TV while you pulled the blanket closer to your chin. The October chill had settled in his apartment and you hadn’t dressed for his room to feel like the arena.
“Jimmy!” Someone called from the kitchen and a loud clang dissolved any annoyance Tim had from his roommate interrupting his time with you. He rushed to the kitchen and you followed behind shyly. There were platters across the kitchen island, each with a different coloured dish. It looked like there was a salad, a couple casserole dishes, and some plates of desserts. A taller brunette was standing in the kitchen, frantically gesturing between Tim and a pot on the stove. There was a lid on the ground, a splatter of pinkish red liquid surrounding it. You entered the kitchen, picked up the lid before placing it in the sink. The other guy was still explaining to Tim what exactly he wanted to do, even though his head was tilted like a confused puppy. You brushing him aside llightly, grabbing the spoon Tim was holding to stir the pinkish red liquid on the stove. You sent him a small smile back over your shoulder and all you could see in his eyes was relief.
“Thank you!” The oven beeped and you noticed an embroidered #9 on the roommate's Senator sweats. You moved to the side to allow him to get another baking dish from the oven. He placed it on the stovetop and took off his oven mitts. “Thank you for doing that. I didn’t think he’d be that helpless in the kitchen.”
“I’m surprised anyone in this house can actually cook,” You laughed. The liquid that smelled of oranges and cranberries started to boil, so you reduced the heat and continued to stir it. You look at the baking dish that he brought out of the oven. “Are those brussel sprouts?”
“Yeah! My mom’s recipe; they’re delicious! Do you like them?”
“They’re one of my favourites! My recipe uses bacon though.”
“Oh nice! You’ll have to share it with me, I’d love to try it. And, sorry, I didn’t introduce myself. I’m Josh,”
“I know.” He shot you a look and you backtracked. “I-Sorry, it’s just-I actually work with you? I’m in the analytics department, so I know your jersey number and I saw it on your sweats and put two and two together. I’m not being a creep, I’m sorry.” The sound of laughter behind you made you blush.
“Not being a creep my ass. They did the same thing when me and Jimmy ran into them for the first time!” Brady commented, walking into the kitchen. He was wearing a nice pair of dress pants and a button up shirt. You shook your head before nodding towards his attire.
“Going somewhere nice?” He looked down at his outfit and shook his head.
“It’s Thanksgiving? It’s why they gave us the day off?” That...that would explain the amount of food in the kitchen. No matter how many years you lived here, you’d always forgotten that Canadian Thanksgiving was a whole month earlier. You placed the stir spoon on a plate next to the pot and wiped your hands on your pants.
“Oh! Um, right, well, uh in that case, I should be, I should get going. You guys must have plans. Nice to meet you Josh.” You made your way out of the kitchen to the foyer where your coat and shoes were without so much as a goodbye to the guys. You could hear Tim coming after you, his steps lighter and more graceful than Brady or Josh’s. But, he didn’t make a move to do anything except stare at you as you got ready to leave. It wasn’t until you were getting ready to put on your shoes that he spoke.
“You should just stay. We’ve got lots of food.”
“Oh, I don’t want to intrude…”
“Brady’s bringing his girlfriend and a couple other of the guys are coming over. You wouldn’t be intruding.”
“I really shouldn’t…”
“You should. Why won’t you stay?”
“I don’t know if you have this holiday in Germany, but Thanksgiving is a family thing, Tim.” You sighed. “Besides, shouldn’t I have brought something? Am I even dressed okay?” You looked down at your outfit - a simple pair of jeans and one of your comfiest graphic tees. He shrugged.
“Don’t worry about that. You look great, just enjoy the night with me. Stay? Please? C’mon schatz, you’re like my family to me.” The two of you maintained eye contact until you broke it and took off your coat. You could see Tim’s smile widen and when it came to walking back into the kitchen, he extended his arm. You took it and the two of you made your way back towards what would end up being a wonderful evening full of laughs and smiles shared between friends.
***
You had come over for a trashy reality TV binge after a particularly hard day at work. None of the numbers were adding up the way you needed them to and your laptop was having a hissy-fit all day. Soon enough, you called it a day and texted Tim, telling him you’d be over in twenty minutes. He greeted you at the door with your favourite chocolate treat, a box of Timbits, and “there’s popcorn in the microwave right now, it’s almost done”. You could’ve melted right on the spot. Instead, you made your way over to the couch where you collapsed and pulled the blanket he had already set out for you up to your chin. You breathed in the smells of pine and sock tape and felt your body relax. HGTV played in the background while you waited for him to bring the popcorn out when his phone dinged.
“Tim, your phone!” You yelled to him from across the living room.
“Who is it?” You sighed and moved from your comfortable spot on the couch to check his messages. You turned on the phone to see a message from Josh, saying he’s five minutes away. You went to lock the phone, seeing the unimportance of the message but something caught your eye. You swiped to clear the notification and his background came into focus. It was the two of you standing in front of the Ottawa sign at ByWard market, his arm around your shoulders and a grin on both your faces.
“Who was it?” He entered the room as he repeated his question.
“Just Josh,” you whispered, turning around to face him holding up his phone. “Am I your lock screen?” He blushes, opening his mouth stammering for words. “I am! I knew I was important to you.” You poked him a couple times for an extra tease when his face settled into a small pout and he retaliated by tickling you. You shrieked and hopped up from the couch, laughing as he chased you around the house.
“Stop doing that!” He laughed as you escaped his clutches once more. Your laugh echoed through the house as he tried again to try to tickle you, but you grabbed Josh and used him as a human shield.
“No fair schatz,” He relented his tickling and sat on the couch. You took a seat beside him, but kept your distance in case he decided to start his torture again.
“You know, you’ve never told me what that means,” You look over to him and he’s already scratching the back of his neck.
“What what means?”
“That thing you keep calling me. Like shats?”
Josh laughed and spoke up. “It means swe-”
“Friend! It means friend!” Tim interrupted loudly, his cheeks rosy. “It means friend.” You raised your eyebrows at his outburst and his explanation.
“You call your friends, ‘friend’?”
He scratched at his jaw and slowly nodded. “In my city, it’s common for friends to just call each other ‘friend’. It’s normal,” You managed out a ‘okay’ between breathy laughs, wondering why he was being so strange about it. It was just a nickname. But the blush in his cheeks didn’t diminish until well after Josh left the room, muttering under his breath about ‘idiots’, and you couldn’t help but think that maybe it meant more than Tim was letting on.
***
“Are you going to be at the gala on Saturday?” Tim asked you as the two of you ate (lunch for you, pre-practice snack for him) on the concourse. It was your first concourse snack since the All-Star break and you had missed him. WhatsApp messages and Instagram messages just weren’t the same as being in his presence. You finished your bite, and shook your head.
“It’s only for players isn’t it?”
“Would you want to come with me?”
“Like...as a date?” You looked up at him, your eyes wide. Maybe this was the clue you were waiting for.
“As friends?” Your eyes darted down onto the counter and Tim took that as a sign you didn’t want to go with him. “There’ll be puppies there.”
“Well,” you swallowed the lump in your throat, “If there’s going to be puppies, I need no more convincing.” You forced a smile onto your face and he returned the sentiment, before finishing up the food. You wished him good luck before the game, and left to go the the box.
Soon enough, it was Saturday night and you found yourself in front of the Fairmont Château. You gazed up at the stone walls and admired how the orange glow from the lights gave it such a warm feeling, compared to the shivers that were going up and down your back. You had found time to go and get a fancy outfit for the night, its gold fabric being a perfect fit on your body. Tim had told you he’d meet you inside, so walked upt the steps alone, avoiding the other guests in fancy attire. They looked like they belonged here. You couldn't relate. The front entrance of the hotel was exactly as you expected -- it had marble floors, crown moldings, and a domed ceiling. You followed the chatter to one of the conference rooms, someone offering to check your coat. With just your clutch, you entered the ballroom with the sound of your shoes following you.
You looked around to try to find Tim among the executives, easily spotting him when you heard Brady’s booming laugh in the corner. You made your way over to the group, including Brady, Josh, Drake, Tim and some respective dates. Josh waved at you and Tim turned around to see you walking towards him.
Tim stood there, memorized by the way the Senators gold fabric hugged your figure and the way your eyes had lit up when you saw one of the puppies. You came over to him, brushing his arm before joining the group. Hellos were thrown your way and it wasn’t long before everyone went back to their conversations and you were able to speak with Tim.
“You look handsome." You handed him your clutch, which he held unashamedly, as you adjusted his gold bowtie, letting your hands linger on the front of his chest. You gulped before snapping out of your trance and took your clutch back from him.
“Um, uh, thanks. You look...good too,” His voice was breathy and his cheeks had flushed a little. You smiled at him, before noticing another golden retriever stumbling around next to its trainer and darting off to pet it. Tim watched you go and he stood back, blown away by the way his heart was beating faster and how he couldn’t seem to get enough air into his lungs.
“You finally figured it out, huh?” He turned around at Drake’s voice. He had recognized the look on Tim’s face, it was the same one he had when he looked at his partner. Tim furrowed his eyebrows.
“Figured what out?”
Drake scoffed and took a gulp of his drink. “God, you already know and you’re denying it. You’re in love with them.” Tim shook his head, waving off the thought. You were his best friend, nothing more. “C’mon man, you can keep lying to yourself but it’s obvious to everyone else.” He was then swept away by a reporter, leaving Tim to his thoughts.
He wasn’t in love with you. He was sure of it. You were his best friend, his safe spot. It’s not like when he sees you his heart beats faster or he notices how your eyes crinkle when you laugh or when the sun hits your skin just right, you look like an angel. It’s not like the more he looks at your lips the more he wants to know if they taste like your sweet honey lip chap. It’s not like your smile could cure his darkest days or that he could see himself introducing you to his family as his partner.
Except it was like that.
Tim saw all of that with you. He saw more galas, more late night drives, lazy Sunday mornings. He wanted to see you after his games, not in your office, but in the tunnel where you’d be wearing his jersey and a special jean jacket. He wanted to take you home to meet his family, his hometown friends. He wanted to show you all the places that were special to him, just as you showed his places special to you. He wanted to meet Dani and see if she thought he was good enough to be your partner. As he stared at you petting the small golden pup, he realized Drake was right. He was in love with you.
He was in love with his best friend.
Fuck, what was he supposed to do now?
You didn’t give him too much time to think about that as you came up behind him, telling him everything about the golden retriever you just met. He smiled at you, and motioned with his head to find your seats as dinner was going to be served soon. You sat next to him, your leg brushing against his under the table. Even from that, he got shocks-- tiny lightning bolts trailing up his body. It was like every sense was heightened after he came to the realization that he loved you. How am I supposed to even act around them? He thought.
The meal passed without issue and while Tim went about schmoozing all the executives and donors, you stick with the other halves. You had already met Emma, Brady’s partner, and she introduced you to Dakota, Briar, and Marissa (she had also told you who they came with but that information had not stuck with you).
“Sooo… Emma, how’s the wedding planning going?” Briar asked. She had gotten engaged over the holiday break. She laughed and waved off the question.
“Oh, not at all! We’re just enjoying being engaged, it’s like the honeymoon phase all over again,”
“Just like you and Tim,” Dakota nudged you and wiggled her eyebrows. You coughed on your drink at her statement.
“What?” You managed to sputter. Emma looked uncomfortable but didn’t say anything. “What do you mean, like me and Tim?”
“Oh come on, it’s so obvious the two of you are in your honeymoon phase! Don’t be ashamed of it, you’re such a cute couple!”
“Ooh yes!! How his bowtie matched your outfit is like goals, I wish my boyfriend did that with me,” Marissa mentioned. Your voice felt caught in your throat and you were instantly aware of the breeze in the room and the sweat on the back of your neck.
“We’re just friends,” Your voice was small.
“I’ll believe that when pigs fly, babe. Oh, look, here comes your man.” Dakota winked at you before turning into her own date. You turn around quickly to see him walking over to you, laughing with Brady and Josh. Normally, the sight of him would calm you down. He was such a genuine person and you appreciated how you never had to shrink yourself to fit in with him. But with the girls’ comments, you suddenly couldn’t be around him. When his hand met the small of your back, you flinched before relaxing into his touch. It was just Tim, your Tim. It’s not a big deal unless you make it a big deal.
“Timmy, I was just telling Y/n what a cute couple you two are!”
“Well, what do they say? Oh right, they complete me,” He sent you a wink and pulled you closer to his side. You went stiff in his hold, and he noticed, instantly letting you out of his grip. You muttered out an excuse about work and said quick goodbyes to the group before you were out of the gala as fast as your shoes could allow. Your cheeks were hot with...embarrassment? No, that wasn’t quite it. But they were hot, and the room felt small with Dakota’s teasing so just needed to escape. You needed to have fresh air in your lungs, needed to feel the cool Ottawa air on your arms. Needed to be somewhere other than beside him and his light teasing that left your stomach in knots.
But you hadn't even reached the front door and grabbed your coat from the coat check when Tim caught up to you. He watched you try to put on your coat, as he rocked back and forth on his heels like that first day you met.
“Do you… do you actually have work in the morning or were you just saying that?” You looked up and met his eyes, the orbs holding a certain vulnerability you hadn’t seen before.
“I got called at the last minute. I forgot to tell you, Jody’s kid got sick so I’m covering the game on Sunday but I haven’t prepared my notes or anything and you know me, I’ve got to be prepared or I won’t make a coherent analysis and then I’m really in trouble-” Tim cut your rambling off with a murmur of your name and you slowed your frantic movements to look at him.
“We’re okay, right?”
You smiled at him before you walked out the glass door. “Yeah, we’re alright.”
***
Last night was confusing to say the least. You could still feel the heat in your cheeks from...embarrassment? No, it wasn’t that. It was more like you couldn’t stand around to see what he meant by his comment. You couldn’t stand around why everyone else say you as a couple when you knew you weren’t. But you were okay with not being a couple weren’t you?
It’s like not you liked him that way. Yeah, a simple smile from him could turn your day around and your concourse snacks were the highlight of your week. But that’s because he was your best friend. It’s not like you wanted to spend every morning waking up to him or spend your afternoons running your fingers through his hair. It’s not like you wanted to take him back to Seattle to meet Dani or how you wanted to wear his jersey to call him yours. It’s not like you daydreamed about him gently holding your hand as you walked through ByWard market or how soft his lips would be as he leaned in to kiss you or what his abs felt like without a shirt separating your fingers from his skin.
Except it was like that.
And then came the comment at the gala. Did that mean he liked you too? But he said you were just going as friends. Did he mean it platonically? What if you read things wrong? Fuck, why were feelings so complicated?
Dani, you needed to call Dani. She’d know what to make of all this. She picked up on the fourth ring. “Thanks for calling Books By The Ocean, may you please hold?”
“Dani, it’s me.” Hold music filled your ear and you rolled your eyes. A few minutes later, there was almost certainly a hole in your rug from your pacing and she finally picked up.
“Why’d you resort to calling the store? I would’ve answered my phone eventually,”
“Yeah, eventually. I just really need to talk to you now,”
“Okay, so what’s up?”
“There’s this guy…”
“Is it Tim? Please tell me it’s Tim.” When you didn’t answer, she rejoined before reeling it in and telling you to continue.
“Anyways...we’re pretty good friends, I've known him since like the start of the season, and I don’t know, like I think he likes me? And I mean, I like him, he’s really great but, like, I just-”
“Can you get to the point please?”
“I want to take the next step with him. I want to be more than friends with him. I want all those things but… I just seem frozen. Like when I think about telling him, my body feels like it won’t move. It feels like I’m underwater. But I want to do more with him. I want that. Why won’t my brain get that and let me… I don’t know, let me act on my feelings?”
“You’re protecting yourself. You’ve never got hurt before,” You scoffed at her statement.
“What do you mean, of course I have,”
“Okay, sure, when you scraped your knee or when Nancy Peters called you dumb in second grade but you haven’t got hurt before. You haven’t opened yourself up to someone and let someone into your heart and let them see you for who you are.”
“Well, yeah, okay, but that’s because they might not like what they see,”
She sighed. “You can’t go through life with your walls up, kiddo. It’s hard, but you have to trust yourself. You have to let yourself feel. You have to let people in. When we were little and moved around a lot, maybe it was a survival tactic. But you’ve been in Ottawa for close to five years now and have unpacked all your boxes? Have you had any friends over? You’ve put down roots there but you’re still holding onto a survival tactic when you need to be living, not just surviving.
“I let people in--”
“No. You don’t. Has Tim ever been in your apartment? Has he seen that even though you resent Mom, you still have family photos of the four of us in your living room? Does he know about Dad? You might have told him stuff but you’re still living behind walls.” She sighed.
“Look, I don’t mean to be hard on you, but I want to see you thrive kiddo. I want you to experience life, and yeah, hurt is a part of life. You aren’t doing life right if you come out unscathed. And sure, maybe he’s a great friend. But in some instances, that romantic partner can fill a more emotionally secure place. People usually place more trust in their partner than just a friend. You’ve got to open up to him more than you already have if you want more from him.”
“How do I do that?”
“You’ve got to figure that out on your own kiddo, but it probably wouldn’t hurt to talk to him. Honestly; no hiding behind your friendship.” You nodded to her advice, before realizing she couldn’t see you, and thanked her for her help. She hung up with the promise to chat again on Wednesday like you normally did. You threw your phone beside the sink and leaned your head against the cool counter.
Be honest with him
Okay, you could do that. Easy enough right? You just had to make a plan to tell him. You could do that.
***
You were walking through the halls close to the bench to deliver your latest stats to the coach. It was your job after the other analysts determined you “had the youngest feet” and could go scouring around to find the coach. You didn’t mind. Besides… if you just happened to bump into Tim while you were down here, well then that was a completely unplanned coincidence. Since the gala and your chat with Dani afterwards, you were feeling good about where you stood with Tim. And you’d made your plan. After the game, you’d meet up for after-game snacks like most home games and you had told yourself you’d talk to him then.
You had given the latest report to the coach on the bench, walking past the locker room towards the box when you heard Tim's voice.
“...I don’t know man, I just need a break from Y/n.” You stopped in your tracks. It wasn’t that you meant to be nosy, but at the mention of your name… you wanted to see what else he had to say. You hadn’t meant to smother him but you guess he saw it differently. Your shoulders dropped and you bit your lip.
“I only have a problem around them!” You could feel the breakfast in your stomach start to turn, the feeling of bile starting to rise up. A ringing started to fill your ears, the white static noise only being pieced by his once comforting voice.
“It’s just… We work together, you know? It’s awkward,” Where was this attitude when you were hanging out at the start of the season? Last week? If this is how he felt, why didn’t… what did he mean by his comment to Dakota?
His voice shook you out of your trance. “Like at the end of the day, I’m me… they pay me a lot to play my game and they’re...them.” At that, you rushed away from earshot. If that was how he really felt, then screw him. If he was the hockey star and you were just the analyst, then that’s what role you’d play. Nothing more, nothing less. And he wasn’t brave enough to say that to your face, you’d say it first.
This is why you didn’t open yourself up. If you were going to get hurt either way, it might as well be the least damaging option.
Over the next few games and practices, you kept your distance from the players. You avoided the bench, sending Jody to give reports to the coach. You kept your office door closed, the blinds closed, and you made sure to time your exits of the arena to avoid Tim. If avoiding him meant you avoided the inevitable conversation where he would tell you your flaws and point out every way you misread things, then you would do that.
After you heard that, you stopped going out of your way to pass by the boys in the arena. You went into your office, closed the door, and didn’t leave until you went home. When you had to sit in the stands for practices, you sat higher than you used to and ignored the waves and stared you got from the team. He sent the occasional text but you replied with an im busy too many times that he stopped trying. It was odd to you how he kept reaching out when he was the one who said he needed a break but you ignored that voice in your head.
It was a Friday when he finally confronted you. You had been so close to leaving the arena, just one more hallway, and you would’ve been out the door and into the parking lot. He had called your name and you tried to turn the corner without him but he caught up easily, grabbing your wrist to get you to stay.
“What’s up? It feels like I haven’t seen you in forever,” He let go of your wrist as you turned to face him.
“Well that’s what happens when you’re a bigshot NHL player and I’m a lowly analyst.” He squinted his eyes and furrowed his eyebrows at your statement.
“What?”
“Look, I don’t-- I don’t think we should be friends anymore,”
He slowly nodded, thinking your words over in his head. “Okay. Um...I think… yeah, that could be good. I don’t think we should be just friends either.” He shot you a shy smile with a spark of hope in his eyes but you frowned.
“Good. It’s settled then.” You turned on your heel and walked away from him, only wiping your teary eye once you had rounded the corner, refusing to let him see you cry. You missed the way he frowned as you retreated.
The weekend was spent in bed, repeat episodes of Loki playing in the background. Loki never hurt you the way Tim had, the way his words dug into your insecurities of being alone creating a wound like no other. You had turned your phone off earlier as it kept buzzing with messages from him. You didn’t want to hear his excuses of why and you didn’t want to explain that you’d overheard his conversation. But the season wasn’t over yet so you gave yourself two days to grieve. When Monday morning came, it was like nothing had ever happened.
Tim caught you in the main entrance way at the rink. It was close to 8am and you knew he didn’t have practice until 11, so it was obvious he was waiting for you. You walk right past him until he softly calls your name and you stop walking, but don’t turn around. “Why are you ignoring me?”
“You know why.” You whipped around and scoffed at him. “And you know what else? If you had a problem with me, you could’ve just said something. You didn’t have to keep hanging out with me.”
“What?”
“I think we should just keep this professional, 18. I’m nothing more than a background analyst to your hockey superstar, so let’s just stick to our jobs, yeah?”
“What are you talking about?”
“We work together, we shouldn’t be friends, you said it yourself. It’ll be better this way. Now, please, just leave me alone.” You brushed by him, bumping your shoulder with his, and you missed the way his jaw fell open at how quickly your relationship seemed to change.
He seemed to leave you alone after that. He didn’t check in and he didn’t send funny memes he found. He didn’t text you to tell you he landed safely on road trips and you didn’t congratulate him on a game well played. You could tell Brady and Josh thought it was weird but didn’t say anything, just gave you pitying looks when you passed by or caught their eye in the halls.
The Senators failed to clinch a playoff spot, thanks to an overtime loss to Winnipeg. The end of the season for you was nice. It meant a shift in your work to more prospects, and thankfully, a more flexible work schedule. You didn’t have to go into the arena and most of the players went back to their hometowns to visit. It was supposed to be a reprieve for you, knowing Tim wasn’t even in the country. It was supposed to be relaxing, going to all the places that had helped you in the past to regroup your thoughts.
But instead, it felt suffocating, strolling through the market. You’d been here thousands of times to clear your head, but this time the deeper you walked, the more the thoughts in your head swirled into a hurricane.
You’d never know what home felt like. You’d had friends tell you it’s having like extended family over around the holidays or it’s the peacefulness they felt at their lake house. You thought you had found it in Ottawa, its quaintness and history bringing you a sense of calm you hadn’t had before. But only with Tim did you feel that inner peace that home felt like. Only with Tim did you feel like you could take on the world. Only with Tim did you feel whole.
And that was scary.
Feeling like one person could complete you, like they had a piece of your heart you didn’t know you gave them, was scary. You were used to being on your own. You’d done it throughout your levels of schooling and throughout the beginnings of your career. And all it took for that strength to come crashing down was a bashfully confident German hockey player.
He couldn’t even tell you why. It would’ve hurt more to hear the exact reasons why you weren’t good enough for him, but it would have quelled your mind from picking on every single insecurity your mind could come up with.
Before you knew it, you were staring at the Ottawa sign. You glanced around to see couples waiting for their turn at the sign. Some of the guys had their arms around the shoulders’ of their girlfriends. Some of the girls had their hands clasped in their girlfriends’. Some people had their arms around the waist of their partner. But they all had a smile on their face, a fondness that was reserved for the love of their life.
Your eye caught the sight of a backwards Senators cap and your head whipped around. The person was tall and was wearing a grey hoodie. The man turned to the side and you caught a glance of the brown tufts of hair that stuck out of the cap. He threw his head back and the corners of your mouth turned up. Tim’s laugh was always infectious, even if you were upset with him.
But it wasn’t him.
He hadn’t reached out since the day in the hallway. As much as you knew you didn’t want to hear him say things more hurtful than what you overheard, you couldn’t help but wonder where you went wrong. The what-ifs tumbled around in your head, the possibilities of why suddenly your friendship was too much for him.
As you stood there in the market, the memories racing through your mind mixed with images of happy couples all around you, you knew you had to get out. You don’t really remember the rush of leaving, all you know is that the city that felt big for so many years now felt too small. You can’t go anywhere without being reminded of him, his smile, his laugh. How his eyes glimmer from the light of a movie. You drove yourself to the airport, knowing there wasn’t going to be a cab this early in the morning.
Before you knew it, you were standing outside of the familiar blue painted bookstore with your duffle bag in your hands. It was raining and overcast in Seattle, which wasn’t unusual, but even the fat teardrops felt melancholic. The sign in the window said closed, but you knew Dani would be in the back, organizing new stock. You knocked on the window, the sound rattling through the worn building. A few seconds later, her head of light pink hair came to the door, opening it. Before she could question your presence, you spoke.
“He didn’t want me,” you cried. “He didn’t even see all of me and he didn’t want me.” You dropped your bag as she pulled you into a hug. One hand cradled the back of your head as she pulled you out of the rain and into the store. You inhaled her scent, a mix of sea salt and the old bookstore, and squeezed her tightly. When she released you from the hug, she tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, her fingers grazing down your jaw. She gave you a soft smile, before walking to the back of the store, where her apartment was. Your shoes squeaked against the old hardwood floors as you followed her towards the kitchen, where you could smell a pot of tea brewing.
She was silent as she poured you a cup, kissed your head, before whispering everything was going to work out. She slipped out of the room, giving you your space.
You didn’t even have to ask. Dani let you stay with her for the summer, as long as you helped out around the store when you weren’t doing your own work. She didn’t push you for details about Tim, she just let you be. You tried your best to be cheery around the customers but that facade only lasted so long. When you were alone, you didn’t try to hide the emptiness you felt there.
***
Too soon did the days start to get shorter, the nights colder, the pitter-patter of raindrops became more constant which meant fall was coming. The season was starting up again, and you had to head back to Ottawa. This summer at home was a nice break but you knew that running away wasn’t going to solve all your problems. You were packing when a text from Josh came in.
So when are you getting in?
i land at 9pm on the 20th. Why?
Can’t I wonder when my friend gets into the city?
we’re friends?
Of course we are Numbers! I don’t share family recipes with just anyone :)
good to know thanks :)
You continued packing, thinking about what he said. You knew the two of you were friends, but he was Tim’s teammate. His roommate. To hear him say, regardless of where you and Tim stand, that you two were still good was a relief. As much as you’ve enjoyed your time away from the city, you missed work. You missed sitting in the arena, a brisk chill over your shoulder, the sounds of scraping ice and whistles. You missed the quaintness of Ottawa and, as much as he’d never let you forget it, you missed Josh’s cooking. Nights with Dani didn’t compare to nights with Brady (and sometimes Emma) and Josh.
Dani parked in the loading zone of the airport. She got out of the car to help with your bag, even though you had only brought one.
“Hey, listen, um. I know you don’t want to talk about what happened with Tim but… I think you need to talk to him.”
“Dani...”
“No, listen. I think you need some closure. You ran away from a city you haven’t left in five years, a city you so obviously love, because it hurt to think about him. Maybe closure means you talk to him. Maybe it doesn’t. But you’ve spent this whole summer looking lost, like you’re waiting for something to magically appear and make everything better. You look like you’ve lost a piece of yourself and you don’t know how to get it back. And that’s not you, kiddo. It’s never been you; you’ve always been so straightforward and sure of yourself. I want you to feel like yourself again, that’s all.”
“What if…” You swallowed the lump in your throat. “What if the piece of me that I lost isn’t something I can get back?”
“Then you fill it. It might not be perfect and maybe you need lots of tape, and maybe you accept that there will be small cracks in it, but those holes make your souls yours. It’s a part of life, and you can’t avoid it no matter how hard you try.” You pulled her in for a hug, some of the tears in your eyes dropping onto her shoulder.
“Thank you Dani. For everything.” She pulled back to wipe the tears from your face, a smile on her face.
“You know I’m always here for you, kiddo. Take care of yourself, okay?” You nodded, knowing if you spoke again, more tears would bubble over. You walked towards the departures gate, walking towards the reality you ran from.
Several hours later, you were happy to be back in Ottawa. You had missed it, as much as it pained you when you were here. Tim Hortons, bilingual signs, friendly smiles, and oh god you could have real poutine again. Yeah, it was nice to be back.
Dani’s words mulled over in your head throughout the flight, and continued to as you made your way through the airport. She was right, maybe you needed closure. Accept what happened and move on. You’d lost friends when you graduated early, you’d lost friends when you moved away. You’d lost friends before and this was no different.
Except you knew deep down it was different. It was Tim; it was always going to be different with him.
You shook your head, as if to physically rid yourself of the thought. If Tim didn’t want to be around you, then you weren’t going to waste your time waiting for him to show up. You’d suck it up everything you had to look at a stat, but other than that you’d focus on work, focus on proving yourself in the company. You started to walk towards where you’d parked your car (without wondering how much the parking was), ignoring the happy reunions of students and families. You had been perfectly fine being in Ottawa on your own until you realized how much better it could be when you had someone.
A hand grasped your wrist and instantly, you turned around and ripped your arm from the stranger. You looked up, first to see a bouquet of flowers made up of peach roses, white tulips, and hydrangeas. Behind the colours of the flowers, you see a familiar face, eyes full of sorrow and hope. Even when you were ignoring him, he was still so easy to read.
“Number 18.” You struggled to keep your voice even, but you lifted your head to appear as if he had no effect on him.
“Hi Y/n,” He met your eyes, which you quickly darted away. “These are for you.” He tried to hand the bouquet to you, but you shook your head.
“How did you know when I got in?” The coldness in your voice surprised Tim, but he didn’t show it, swallowing slowly before answering you.
“Josh told me." You folded your arms, your hands gripping your bag in case you needed to get away from this conversation.
“Josh mentioned it or you asked Josh?” When he didn’t answer, you knew it was the latter and scoffed at his sneaky actions. You quickly turned away from him and moved faster towards the exit. You heard him sigh from behind you and before you could make a sly comment about it beneath your breath, he was ahead of you, blocking your way. You tried to side-step him, but hockey reflexes prevailed. You glared his way and tried again, silently begging him to move.
“C’mon, you have to talk to me sometime, we work together,” He commented.
“That’s exactly it. We work together. You’re the high and mighty NHL superstar and I’m the nerdy analyst. We have our places. They don’t mix, so really I don’t have to work with you at all. So, please, if you could just move, I have nothing else to say to you.” You tried once more to step around him, but he lightly grabbed your forearm to stop you.
“But I have stuff to say to you.”
“You had months to say it, so I’ll say it again, please let me by.” Suddenly, he was on his knees in the airport, the flowers still outstretched in his hands.
“Y/n,”
“What are you doing?” You hiss to him, your face darting around to see people starting to stare at Tim’s grand gesture.
“I need you to talk to me, and you won’t, so I’ll beg until you agree to hear me out,” You could feel more people staring, the shutter of camera phones, the eyes of everyone in the Ottawa airport (or what felt like it) easily making up your mind. There was a reason you were an analyst, away from the spotlight, doing your work behind the scenes.
“Get up,” you started to pull on his arm, but he just stayed anchored to the ground.
“You’ll talk to me?”
“18, I will do anything as long as you stop making a scene,” At this point, your cheeks felt as if you’d stood under the beating sun for an hour. He got up from his knees, the flowers still outstretched in his hands, and you let go of his arm. You grabbed the flowers from his arms, dropping them in a garbage bin as you stalked out of the airport. Tim caught up to you and walked by your side.
You said nothing as you reached your car, unlocking the doors. You didn’t even wait for him to have his seatbelt on before you were backing out of the stall and driving away. Thoughts were running wild in your head; you were angry and embarrassed at the stunt he pulled at the airport, appalled at the audacity he had to show up after what he said, and last of all you were reluctantly happy to be back in his presence again. So you went to the one place you knew you could think.
You put the car in park overlooking the suburbs. You turned it off and rested your arms on the steering wheel. You couldn’t make the effort to get out and walk to the lookout spot, the car creating a safe bubble for your thoughts.
“Why won’t you talk to me?” His soft voice broke the tense silence in the car and you scoffed.
“We’re not friends anymore. You’re the Senators star player and I’m just the nerdy analyst. There’s no reason for me to need to talk to you.”
“See, you keep saying that but I-I don’t get it! What does that even mean?” You furrow your eyebrows as you turn to face him, his own face scrunched up and his eyes hard.
“What do you mean you don’t get it? You said that! The last game against Montréal? I was walking past the locker room and… I overheard you talking with the guys.” You looked down to your lap, findling with your hands. You briefly saw Tim’s hand start to move towards you, but you shook your head and it stayed in his lap. “You said you needed a break from me. You said that ‘at the end of the day they pay me a lot to play my game and they’re.. them’. You said you had a problem with me. What was I supposed to take from that except that you didn’t want me to be in your life?”
He stammered for words but you cut him off. “No, I don’t think you understand how much it hurt. Hurt to have the one person who I thought understood me to talk behind my back about how I wasn’t enough for them. It hurt to know that the one person who I always wanted to talk to, didn’t want to talk to me. Hurt to think that you’ve only ever seen me as just some nerdy analyst who has no place in your life. I had been fine before, without you in my life, but then you came in and knocked down every barrier I ever had. And then left as if you didn’t just break my life into pieces!
“I left Ottawa because it hurt too much to go to all my favourite places, because I went there with you. I let you into my safe spaces, and when you left, you shattered that security. You tainted all the good I had there. I thought that Ottawa was home before I met you,” you scoffed. “Not even close. You feel like home to me. And for you to say that I was a problem in your life?” You shook your head at him and looked down at your hands. “I tried to get over it, believe me I did. But every single place I went I was reminded of you… and how everything we had didn’t feel like a big deal to you.”
“I never meant for that to happen.” His voice was quiet and strained, as if he was trying to keep his emotions within him.
“You know the hardest part? I didn’t just have to get over losing my best friend. I had to get over someone I fell in love with! I lost the single most important relationship with one tiny little passing conversation. And you acted like nothing happened! Like we were still friends, like you still cared for me-”
“Ich liebe dich du trottel!” His outburst caught you off guard and you gulped. His heavy breathing was the only sound in the car as you whispered.
“You know I don’t speak German…”
“You don’t need to know German to know what I said,” His eyes were hard, a look you had only seen during games.
“Oh.” You shook your head and looked at him. “Wait what?”
“I didn’t say those things you think I did! You didn’t listen to the whole thing! Brady was teasing me about me saying I don’t have a problem talking to people I like and I don’t normally but you’re the exception! I needed a break from you because everytime I see you, my heart starts beating faster and my hands get sweaty and I don’t know how to act! And the guys said that sounds like I’m in love with you-- and I am! I am! But when I finally started to do something about it, you ran away from me! I didn’t know what to do. Besides, if I fell in love with you...it could mess with our jobs. Because if for any reason, something happens, they’d fire you before they’d ever trade me. And you’ve worked too hard to have an opportunity like this be taken away from you because of me. So... I didn’t know what to do. And then you just kept ignoring me and saying those things about how you’re just a nerdy analyst…. It felt like we weren’t on the same page anymore and I didn’t know where it came from or what to do either so I tried to give you space. But then you shut me out. And you said we shouldn’t be friends. So I thought that meant.... you wanted to be more than friends? And the boys were saying that you being mean to me was just you having a hard time having feelings for me but then you… uh, yelled at me so I left you alone. But that doesn’t mean I stopped thinking about you.” He placed one of his hands on top of your tentatively, giving you the option to shoo his hand away. When you didn’t, he rubbed the skin on top of your hand. “It never meant I stopped caring about you.”
He sighed. “I guess I see now that I should not have given you space. I should’ve been better for you because that’s what you deserve.”
“I could’ve been better too, this isn’t all your fault. I said some mean things.”
“I promise you, that when we’re together I’m not a NHL player. I’m just me… just Tim from Germany who likes hockey. You have always seen me for who I am, and that’s...that’s something I love about you.”
Your breath got caught in your throat. Love… was a big word. Love was for confident people. Love was for those who didn’t understand the weight of that four letter word. Love wasn’t a word you threw around. Love was scary. It asked you to place your bandaged heart in someone else’s hands and hope they didn’t drop it, shattering the pieces into smithereens. Love meant letting down those walls that time and time again had proved that needed to stay up. To protect you. To avoid the heartache of broken trust.
And here he was, throwing that word around as if the implications didn’t matter. As if he didn’t leave. As if he didn’t call you a problem. As if he didn’t know the months you spent trying to forget him and the fragments he left behind.
As if he still wasn’t understanding.
“I… I can’t do this.” You go to open the car door only for it to lock. You gasp, and you whip your head around, your eyes sharp. “This is my car, you can’t do that!” His eyes went wide and you tried again, only for it to be locked again. You gritted your teeth and he spoke before you could reprimand him again.
“Don’t shut me out again! You say you can’t do this, okay, but tell me why. We’re supposed to-to talk to each other! We would’ve had no mess if you had just talked to me after you heard what I said! So.. talk to me,” You met his soft eyes, your resolve breaking with just one look. “Please, schatz.”
You slowly pulled your hand off the handle, letting it fall into your lap. You picked at your fingernails while trying to compose your thoughts, Tim’s concerned eyes never leaving you. He murmured your name and you took a deep breath, steadying yourself.
“I’m sorry I just- I don’t know if I can jump back into where we were. I know that… it’s different than I thought but I can’t-” you cut yourself off before you said something you regret and a cold chill ran through you. “It still hurts. I can’t just unhear those things you said. Especially when they came from you. So, I’m going to need time to process everything.”
He placed one of his hands over your fidgeting fingers and you lifted your head to meet his soft eyes. “I’ll give you some space. Just let me know when you know, yeah?” Before you could nod your head, he had opened his door and got out of your vehicle. You quickly got out to question him.
“What are you doing?” He turns around at the sound of your voice.
“I’m… I’m giving you space?”
“How are you planning to get home? Uber?” He shrugged before nodding, with his hands stuffed in his pockets. “Uh, no. No. Get in.” He raised his eyebrows and you sighed. “It’s almost 11pm, we’re in a dark forestry area, and you are the least threatening person I know. I’m not going to let you get stabbed by some murder psycho; you still mean something to me, you know.”
At that he came over to the car, and the two of you got settled back into your seats. After you buckled up and started the engine, Tim broke his silence.
“Did you mean that? That I still mean something to you?”
You swallowed slowly and took a while to answer his question, your hand resting on the gear shift. You put the car in reverse, and looked over at him. “You’re always going to mean something to me. Just what exactly you are changes.” You backed out of the parking lot and started the drive to his place. He was quiet for a few minutes, pondering your answer, but when he spoke his voice had the quiet confidence he always carried around with him.
“Can I ask what I am right now?” Streetlights illuminated his face and out of the corner of your eye you see him slightly turned towards you, his face unsure.
“No. I’ll keep you updated?”
“Good enough.”
The rest of the drive back to his house was quiet, aside from the lo-fi beats you had playing in the background. Despite the tension, the drive felt comfortable. When you parked in front of his house, he cleared his throat.
“Um, thank you for the ride. I’ll see you around I guess,” He unbuckled his seat belt and placed his hand on the handle.
“Goodnight Tim.” Despite your smile, Tim really hoped your goodnight didn’t also mean goodbye. He got out of your car, walked up the steps to his door, unlocked it and gave you a small wave before he went inside.
Tim was true to his word. He gave you space. He didn’t go back to the lookout spot or the war memorial, knowing those were your sanctuaries before they were his. He didn’t ask for updates, he didn’t stop by your office, he didn’t ask Josh how you were doing.
And you appreciated it. The time and space left you alone with your thoughts and you often visited the lookout spot or the war memorial, trying to find some peace, but those spots were now shared with Tim. So, for the first time in a long time, you spent time in your apartment.
When you moved in, you hadn’t done anything to the place. Spaces were temporary in your experience. It was more hassle than it was worth to try to make the space your own if, in a year everything was a clean slate. But Dani was right. It had been close to six years now since you moved in. Six years. You had a stable job, you had friends here, it was time to accept that maybe this was more than temporary.
You started by unpacking the last few boxes that were stacked in the hallway. You replaced the command hooks hanging your picture frames with nails. You got new paint to liven up the living room from the basic beige it was before. You put the work into making your apartment really yours. You had to stop living behind walls and this was a first step.
The next step was to really open up.
***
You were waiting outside the dressing room for Tim to get out. You came down as soon as practice finished so you knew you wouldn’t miss him. You leaned against the cool concrete, trying to control your bouncing leg. He was one of the last out of the dressing room and you shyly smiled at the other players who left. When he came out, you popped off from the wall and stood in front of him.
“Do you still want to know why I picked hockey?” You could tell your question caught him off guard but he nodded nonetheless. “You had asked and I brushed it off...because it hurt to think about. Because it was my dad...He loved hockey. Everywhere we went, there was a team he could cheer for, but he always wished that his hometown team would win, no matter how bad they were. He took me to a game once. I had asked why he liked it so much, it was cold and loud and people were drunk and I’m pretty sure our team was losing. We were down in the crowd and he said to me, ‘Hockey is this great sport. It connects people. It creates families right before your eyes. Enemies can become teammates. This...this sport can be a family for you, anywhere you go. I hope one day you can find something that does the same thing for you.’ Two weeks later, he had a heart attack. So, I held onto the one thing that he found belonging in. I liked my math, it made sense, and I’m good at it. But when it came to doing something with my life, I just- I wanted something to make my dad proud of me, you know? I wanted to feel connected to him.”
Tim was silent but he pulled you into a hug, your head going into the crook of his neck. His arms went around your waist and he held you for a minute. “Your dad would be proud of you. I know he would. Why’d you tell me now though?”
“Well, friends share personal stuff, right?” You pulled away from the hug just enough to catch his eyes. You looked up at him hopefully, and he smiled.
“Yeah, they do.” He broke the hug, but kept an arm slung over your shoulder. “C’mon, friends also eat brussel sprouts for each other.” You laughed at his distaste for them and the two of you walked out the parking lot together, his arm still slung around your shoulders.
***
You looked up at the ceiling, your bedsheets twisted beside you. It had been about two weeks since you told Tim about your dad, and since then, the two of you had been exchanging texts daily. It felt familiar, even though both of you knew it was different. Not a bad different, just… different. You’d been over to his place a couple times and he came over for your place for a ‘welcome back’ dinner.
You were nervous to show him your apartment, but you knew you had grown into the space. It was no longer generic beige walls and command strips. The living room had an accent wall and you put nails in the wall to hang your family photos in the hallway. Tim took his time looking around your space, spending extra time in the hallway. He stopped in front of the picture of your family, all four of you, and smiled.
“My parents are coming into town when we play the Caps in December, if you want to meet them?” He had said when you sat down to eat. You sputtered your drink a little and set down the glass.
“Only if...you meet Dani when we go to Seattle in January?” His face broke into a grin and he nodded.
“I’d love that.” The rest of the dinner had no issues, just two friends catching up and getting familiar with each other again.
But he wanted you to meet his parents. He wanted you to meet the people who raised him, his family. And you didn’t have any hesitations. You wanted to meet the people who made Tim who he is.
This past week solidified that you knew what you wanted. You wanted to meet Tim’s family, you wanted to show him around Seattle, you wanted to be with him. If he still wanted to be with you.
If.
He had been pretty clear where he stood on his feelings, but the voice in the back of your mind taunted you with that one tiny two letter word. He might have seen how you reacted, how unstable you were, and how you weren’t ready to jump into things as a sign you didn’t want this. He could’ve taken your steps to being friends again as being just friends again. He could’ve-
You weren’t going to wait around to let what-if’s and might of’s and could’ve’s waft around in your head. You needed to talk to him, needed to see him. So in your pajama pants and a hoodie, you braved the Canadian night and drive to his house. You parked the car, rather haphazardly, but it could wait. You skipped a step walking up to his door and quickly phoned him.
You paced back and forth on the small porch as the phone rang three times before he picked up.
“Hallo?” His accent was thicker in his native language, the harsh constants sounding so soft from his lips.
“Can you come open the door?”
“What?”
“I’m outside. Can you open the door?”
“What? It’s like...early,”
A sigh escapes you. “Tim. I know. I know now.”
“Well if you looked at a clock before you left your place, you would’ve known earlier. That would’ve-”
“Tim.” You gulped and your voice trembled slightly. “I’m ready. I know what I want.” The tone of your voice dropped its lightheartedness and that alone was enough to shake the sleep from his mind. But your words? More than enough to get him out of bed and racing (as quietly as he could in the dark) towards you.
He opened the front door in his sleep joggers to see you pacing and shaking your arms. You hadn’t noticed him yet, so he took the opportunity to admire you. The way your hair fell, your Senator pajama pants that Brady gave you as a gag gift, the way you bit your lip between your teeth.
“Hey.” His voice broke you out of your trance, your head whipping around to see him standing in the doorframe.
“Hi.” Your voice was quiet, the nerves getting the best of you. You stood there for a while, just looking at each other. His hair was a mess and he was wearing the grey hoodie you knew for a fact was his favourite. “Oh, right, I have to go first. Um...Are- are you still sure about your feelings for me?” He nodded. “And-and they’re for sure, good feelings?”
“… They’re such good feelings.” You nodded and gave your body another shake through, as if to dissipate the nerves racing throughout your veins.
“I know it’s taken me a while to kinda sort everything out but… I like you too. That’s why hearing those things hurt so much. That’s why I had to take some time. I've been alone for most of my life and it was scary to let someone in so easily, unknowingly. You just waltzed in and made yourself at home in my heart and it felt like you belonged so I… I didn’t even realize you could hurt me. And when I heard those things, it hurt more. It just solidified that I should’ve stayed alone. You can’t get hurt if there’s no one to hurt you right? But every talk, every late night drive, everything we had...it was worth all the hurt. So I’m ready. I want to do this with you, even if it hurts. I don’t know if I can do life without you.” He pushed himself off of the doorframe and came to stand in front of you, his hand cupping your cheeks, soothing the skin under your eyes.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you and I don’t plan on doing it ever again, Y/n, you have to know that.” You nodded against his hands and you could feel some of his tension fade from his body. “Does this mean… we could be more than friends?”
“I want to be much more than friends with you, Tim.” You bit your lip to try to stop your smile from growing so wide, but it broke through when you saw how wide his smile was and how his eyes crinkled with joy.
“Does this mean I can kiss you now?” He asked softly, already leaning in. He left space between the two of you so you could decide but you easily leaned into him, your lips meeting. It was gentle but it was loving. You moved in sync, Tim’s hand moving to the back of your head to push you closer to him. Eventually, you pulled away for air.
“Schatz…” He breathed and you laughed lightly.
“You know, I don't think you've told me what that really means,” You said with a cheeky smile.
“Would you like me to say it in English, sweetheart?” He brushed his nose with yours.
“Hmm, German is fine,” You tilted your head upwards, almost brushing your lips with his. With your teasing, he let out a groan, bringing you in for another kiss. This time he broke for air, his eyes still slightly closed.
“You know, you cured my homesickness. I never felt like I missed home because I found home in you,” He whispered. Your heart melted and you brought your lips together with a passion he hadn’t seen from you before. Your hands tangled in his hair and he chased your lips as if it was a breakaway. When you broke for air, the two of you were breathless.
“As much as I want to keep doing that, it’s also very early and I am tired. Can we go back to bed please?” His arms were still around your waist, but he leaned back enough that you could see his face, puppy dog eyes and all. You nodded to his request with a soft smile, and went to remove yourself from his arms and go back to your car, but he tightened his grip.
“I got you now, so I’m not letting you go.” You buried your head in the crook of his neck and slowly the two of you made your way into the warm house. He led you through the dark hallways to his bedroom, giggling and sneaking kisses where you could.
You fell asleep so easily, the quickest you have the entire time you had lived in Ottawa. And it wasn’t only Tim’s warmth, or the way his sheets smell like hockey tape and his peppermint shampoo. You had finally opened yourself up. You had found that belonging your dad always wanted you to. And you found that in Tim; whether he knew it or not, he was home.
let me know what you think! thanks for reading!
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#the summer fic exchange 2k21#tim stützle#tim stuetzle#nhl imagine#nhl fic#tim stützle imagine#tim stützle fic#tim stuetzle imagine#tim stuetzle fic#ottawa senators imagine#ottawa senators fic#nhl x reader#hockey fic#abby writes
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hotch’s daughter (various!criminal minds x reader)
requested by anon “Hi lovey I loved your thing w/ the team and Rossi’s daughter and was wondering if you could do something like that but w/ Hotch’s daughter and they all try to flirt w/ her (girls included)? Thanks if you do”
summary hotch finally brings his oldest child in to meet the team, which starts a small rivalry for your affections throughout the day. but little did they know...
a/n for sure one of the longer things i’ve written but i promise, the end is worth it ;))
gif cred belongs to @toyboxboy
rossi had been getting his ear talked off by spencer at the doctor’s desk when you walked in. he had been looking for an escape the last fifteen minutes without being too rude to the kid. then, he looked up and found the easy way out.
“hey, mrs. y/n,” he said, leaning away from the doctor to give you a smile. when the rest of the team looked up, they were met with the gorgeous sight of you balancing jack on your hip, your smile graceful and polite and stunning.
“hello, rossi,” you greeted as he walked up to give you a kiss on the cheek. “any chance you can guide me to my dad?”
“of course,” rossi nodded, and you hooked your free arm with his as he started leading you up to hotch’s office while engaging in some small conversation.
“that’s hotch’s daughter?” emily said in partial shock, eyebrows raised.
“i didn’t know hotch had a daughter,” derek scoffed, eyes never leaving you.
they all watched you and rossi walk to your father’s office. you entered without knocking, giving your father a smile as rossi walked to his own office. “she’s incredibly beautiful,” spencer commented.
“that’s an understatement,” derek contributed.
“no doubt,” jj added. emily was still staring at the door with her mouth agape. jj looked over and scanned her friend’s expression. “you okay, emily?”
“i didn’t have enough time to profile her,” emily hummed to herself. “if i had a little more, i’d know if she was gay.” jj chuckled.
“well, let me know if you find out.”
after about thirty minutes of trying to get work done, the team all perked up when hotch’s door opened. he was chuckling at something you were saying, him now holding jack in his arms.
“team, this is my daughter, y/n,” hotch introduced finally. “and you all know jack.” you gave them a wave and a smile. “y/n, this is derek,” the man gave you a charming smirk, “jj,” the blonde smiled politely, “emily,” the girl wasn’t even attempting to hide her checking you out anymore, “and spencer,” the doctor gave you a shy wave.
“it’s lovely to meet you all,” you nodded. “good to know my father’s in good hands.” they chuckled as you gave them another smile. hotch’s phone rang and he sighed, giving you and them a nod before taking off down the hall with jack to a more private place.
“so, y/n,” you looked up to see jj had spoken, “why haven’t we met you yet?”
you gave them all a smile and leaned against an empty desk. “i moved out the second i turned eighteen and went to med school in california.” they gave you impressed looks. “yeah, full ride.” you gave them a wink that they couldn’t help but melt at. “but uh, after that i took an internship in san diego and didn’t move back until a month or two ago when i heard about the divorce.” they nodded with sympathy, but you simply shrugged in response.
“do you have a job up here yet?” derek asked politely.
you nodded. “oh, yeah. im a local m.a., not too far from where my dad lives. i figured it would be nice to be a part of my little brother’s life, you know?” they all nodded.
“how are you liking quantico?” emily asked, still giving you that flirtatious look that made you blush and smile shyly.
“it’s a beautiful town,” you nodded. “admittedly, i haven’t gotten to see too much of it yet, what with work and jack. but there’s plenty of time for that.”
“i’d love to show you around some time, if you’d like,” emily smiled. you blushed again, but before you could answer, hotch came back.
“all introduced?” he asked with a sigh. they all nodded. “great. get back to work.” he lead you back up to his office, where you gave emily a quick glance before shutting the door. the girl was biting her lip with a smile. she looked around to see the team all giving her incredulous looks.
“what? she’s cute.”
later that day, derek found you making two cups of coffee in the break room.
“someone’s got a sweet tooth,” he said, watching you pour a third packet of sugar in one of the mugs.
you giggled, looking up with a smile that he easily returned. “and that someone’s my dad.” he chuckled as you stirred the steaming liquid.
“so what was it like, growing up with aaron hotchner as your dad?” he asked, getting out a mug to make himself a cup.
you shrugged, moving to pour some coffee in his cup without saying a word. he gave you a smile as thanks as you said, “he’s a good dad. little strict with all my high school boyfriends, of course, but otherwise he was comforting and very loving.”
“bet you had a lot of boyfriends in high school,” derek chuckled, taking a sip from his mug.
you gave him a smile. “bet you had a lot of girlfriends, derek.” something about the way you said his name made him feel cocky.
he shrugged. “what can i say?” you laughed with him before going to take your father his coffee.
“emily, right?” prentiss turned around to see you standing behind her desk with a small smile. she gave you a grin and nodded.
“prentiss.”
“emily prentiss,” you tried, walking closer to her. “i like it.”
she gave you a smile, leaning back in her chair as you perched on her desk. “has anyone told you you have very pretty eyes?” she inquired. you flushed, tucking a piece of hair behind her ears. “i’ll be the first to admit, im a little curious of you, y/n.” you tilted your head. “i just think there’s a lot i could get to know about you.”
“well,” you drawled, “you are a profiler.” she let out a small laugh. “profile me, emily.”
she looked you over with a smile. “you wear a ring on your right ring finger. at passing glance, someone may think ‘sure, she’s taken’ but in reality, it’s common in people who are dedicated to their jobs.” you looked down at the small silver band as she continued, “and speaking of your job, i get the sense that you went into the medical profession because of your dad, right?”
“yeah,” you confirmed, still smiling gently. “got sick and tired of seeing him all beat up.”
“so when you felt powerless over that as a child, you wanted to make sure you weren’t powerless when you were an adult,” she concluded. she gave you a look. “good enough?”
“perfect,” you complimented. she was about to propose that date again when your father called you over.
“y/n, can you come watch jack?”
“yeah,” you said, standing from emily’s desk and smoothing out your skirt. “i’ll talk to you later, emily.”
she watched you walk away with a confident smile.
you had been sitting in hotch’s office with the door cracked, holding jack as he slept in your arms. you had a book in one hand and your other supporting your sleeping brother whehn jj had peeked in to give hotch some paperwork. with your father nowhere in sight, she was greeted by that pure sight instead.
“you know,” jj started, walking into the room and grabbing your attention, “they say there’s something to be said about women who are good with children.”
“do they?” you hummed as she placed a stack of papers onto hotch’s desk. she gave you a smile and a nod. “then im sure there’s something to be said about women who are communication liaisons, no?”
“im sure there is,” she hummed as she walked out of the room, leaving you with a smile as you returned to your book.
“i think im gonna ask her out,” derek nodded, sitting on the edge of jj’s desk near the end of the day.
“like hell,” emily scoffed, sauntering over with her arms crossed. “remember when i already did this morning?”
“and did she give you an answer?” derek shot back. “yeah, that’s what i thought.”
“maybe we shouldn’t be trying to go for our boss’s daughter at all,” jj proposed. they all considered as penelope came walking up, a file in her hands.
“who? y/n?” the computer tech questioned. they all confirmed. penelope shrugged, “well, it’s too late for that.” they all gave her a questioning look. she simply pointed toward hotch’s office. they all followed her finger.
they watched reid walk up and give you a quick kiss and smile. their jaws dropped as he slid an arm around your waist and you lifted your purse onto your shoulder. you both started down toward the doors, where you would have to pass the team in the process.
“thanks for the warm welcome today, guys,” you said, giving them all smiles. spencer smirked unbearably at your side, absorbing the glares and shocked looks of his coworkers and friends. “i really appreciate it.”
they all nodded and muttered. spencer stopped right after you had walked past them. “oh, here, i forgot something.” he handed you the keys to the car. “you go start the car, i’ll be out in a second.” you nodded and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
spencer turned around and quickly went to his desk, opening a drawer and taking out a small jewelry box, which they saw was fit for a nice necklace. as he walked past the team he said, “night, guys.” they were no longer looking at him. just as he passed them, he turned again, “oh, and one last thing.” they looked up to meet his smirk. “checkmate.”
#criminal minds#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds oneshot#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner x daughter!reader#aaron hotchner fanfic#derek morgan#derek morgan x reader#derek morgan fanfic#emily prentiss#emily prentiss x reader#emily prentiss fanfic#jennifer jareau#jennifer jareau x reader#jennifer jareau fanfic#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfic#david rossi#david rossi fanfic#penelope garcia#penelope garcia fanfic#various!criminal minds x reader#surprise!criminal minds x reader
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pls oh god of fics pls grant thee touch starved Shane and oblivious Ryan in shyan ship *bows down* (i sent one before and donno if u actually got it cuz it showed error so im sending in another try)
I didn’t get your other ask unfortunately, but this is an idea I’ve been wanting to write like 10k for, but I know I’ll never have the energy. So it’s a little ficlet instead.
CW: Includes post-kidnapping, malnutrition, and an embarrassing lack of touching for a touch-starved prompt.
*
Shane disappears on September 17th. Ryan only remembers because they’d been scheduled to shoot an episode of Weird and/or Wonderful World and he’d had to eventually make the uncomfortable call to the Los Angeles County Arboretum and Botanic Garden to cancel their tour and interview.
It had been funny at first with Shane’s habitual lateness. They’d all assumed he’d slept late, forgot what day it was, and completely blanked on the filming schedule.
It’s less funny a week later when a missing person’s report is filed and Shane’s parents fly out to stay with Scott while they wait for any kind of news.
Detective Flores finds him two states over, a month and a half later. There are six hostages in total, as part of some elaborate heist that’s foiled before it comes to fruition. Shane’s kept in hospital for almost a full week, treated for malnutrition and a few general injuries, the news passed to Ryan through Scott via a DM on Instagram.
For the first time since Shane’s disappearance, Ryan sleeps through the whole night.
On the Saturday following Shane’s return, Ryan wakes to a phone call at eight in the morning.
“Hello?” he answers, voice rough from sleep, brain barely online.
“I’m sorry,” Shane apologizes, but his voice alone is enough to wake up Ryan the rest of the way. It’s the first he’s heard from him. He’d been trying to give the family space and knew Shane would find him once he was ready. Apparently, now is that time. “Can you come pick me up?”
“Sure,” Ryan agrees instantly, shoving back the covers and getting out of bed. “Where are you?”
“My apartment,” Shane admits and Ryan pauses from where he’s trying to dig out a pair of clean pants. “I just need a break.”
“Sure,” Ryan repeats. “I’ll be there in twenty.”
It’s quiet on the other end of the line before, quietly, Shane says, “Thanks, Ryan.”
*
Shane’s waiting at the curb when Ryan pulls up.
Ryan unlocks the door and watches Shane fold himself into his seat, waiting a moment for Shane to settle before reaching over to set a hand on his knee, squeezing gently.
“Hey man,” he says gently. “Long time no see.”
Shane startles at the touch, but glances over, offering a small smile in return.
He looks different. His face is thinner, his cheekbones a little more prominent, and there’s a new scar on the right side of his forehead that disappears into his hairline.
“Hey,” Shane replies, buckling his seatbelt and giving Ryan a view of his right hand, which has two fingers splinted together. “Thanks for coming.”
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?”
Ryan stares at him incredulously and eventually Shane looks away, out the passenger side window.
“It’s just hard being surrounded by everyone right now,” he says, clearly talking about his family. “I need a break.”
Ryan checks over his shoulder and pulls back onto the road.
“Is my apartment okay? Or did you want to go somewhere else?”
“Your place is fine,” Shane tells him, and from the corner of his eye, Ryan sees him turn his head, staring as though Ryan won’t notice.
At the next red light, Ryan glances over. “How are you doing?”
Shane looks away, clearly caught. “Getting tired of people asking me that. It’s all anyone asks these days.”
“Guess they just want to know you’re okay.”
Shane glances back towards him. “Could be better,” he says bluntly and Ryan can’t help but let out a quiet huff of laughter.
“Yeah, no shit. But the hospital cleared you?”
“Yeah,” Shane sighs. “Apart from a few broken fingers and some weight loss, I’m okay.”
“I missed you,” Ryan admits. “It’s probably the longest I’ve gone without seeing you since we started at BuzzFeed.”
Shane frowns like he’s thinking and then the frown deepens. “Jesus, you might be right.”
Ryan laughs again. “Horrifying thought, huh?”
“Puts things in perspective.”
“Didn’t you miss me?” Ryan asks jokingly, but Shane doesn’t answer, just laughs quietly.
“It’s weird,” Shane says. “I was never alone, but it feels like I have to relearn how to be around people now.”
Ryan had read the news after Shane’s rescue. There had been five others saved alongside Shane, so he suspects they might be the reason Shane wasn’t alone.
Ryan shrugs gently. “Adjusting is hard, and I’m sure it’s even harder with your family refusing to let you out of their sights.”
Shane shakes his head. “You have no idea. I was in the shower for twenty minutes this morning and they started knocking on the door to see if I was still alive.”
“Rough,” Ryan laments. “Well, you’re welcome to chill at my place for as long as you need.”
“Can I move in?” Shane jokes, but Ryan just shrugs.
“If that’s what you want.”
It’s silent for a moment before Shane says, “Thanks, I appreciate it.”
Ryan offers him a smile. “Of course, dude. It’s what I’m here for.”
It’s quiet for the rest of the drive until Ryan pulls into his usual parking spot and glances over. “You good?
Shane nods and carefully unbuckles his seatbelt. “Yeah, I’ve got it.”
Ryan’s chest tightens watching Shane limp his way towards the front door, but he knows the last thing Shane needs is more helicoptering.
“Can I get you anything?” Ryan asks as he shuts the door behind them, watching Shane glance around as though he expects Ryan to have redecorated during his disappearance, but ultimately Shane shakes his head. “Okay, well, make yourself at home. You know the drill. I’m gonna go grab a drink.”
He knows Shane can find his own way to the living room, so he moves around him, heading in the direction of the kitchen instead.
“Ryan?” Shane questions and Ryan pauses, turning back.
“Yeah?”
Shane hesitates like he doesn’t know how to get the words out, but after a moment, he takes two steps closer and draws Ryan into a hug instead.
Ryan isn’t entirely expecting it. Shane’s not a touchy-feely guy, which means Ryan can probably count on one hand the amount of times they’ve hugged. But Shane folds around him so tightly that it startles the breath right out of him.
“I did miss you,” Shane mutters and Ryan lifts his hands to reciprocate, holding Shane as hard as he dares when everything feels so fragile.
“I was really worried,” Ryan admits. “I thought you’d been killed.”
He finds himself rubbing one hand along Shane’s spine, trying to soothe him as Shane tucks his face against his shoulder.
“You were gone for a long time,” Ryan continues.
He can feel the warmth of Shane’s breath through his shirt as he exhales shakily. “They broke my fingers when I tried to escape.”
Ryan holds him tighter, needing them both to understand that Shane’s safe again. Having the weight of Shane leaning against him is grounding in a way he never knew it could be. About a month into Shane’s disappearance, Ryan had gone through a mourning period, assuming he’d never see Shane again. He finds tears prickling his eyes as the relief hits him solidly in the chest.
“God, Shane,” he murmurs and he’s not sure who’s comforting who.
The warmth of Shane spreads through him, all the way down to his toes, like a cup of hot soup on a cold day. Except that Ryan never realized he was too cold until this moment. He feels alive and whole again, and he knows he can’t even begin to understand what Shane experienced. The fact that he can feel every ridge of Shane’s spine as his hand passes along it says enough.
When he finally starts feeling like Shane’s probably ready to let go, he loosens his arms and shifts, one foot lifting to take a step backwards.
“Just a little longer,” Shane requests and Ryan’s more than happy to comply, a noise of agreement escaping as he nods.
“I’ll stay here as long as you need,” Ryan tells him. “It’s just good to have you back.”
“It’s good to be back,” Shane replies and tightens his grip again like he might never let go.
To be honest, Ryan’s okay with that. He holds on just as tightly and settles against Shane, finally feeling happy again for the first time in months.
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at first sight [bonus chapter]
back to you [series masterlist]
pairing: professor!poe dameron x reader
warning: none? language?
word count: 2.5k
a/n: well im sorry this took so long to get up...we are struggling hard right now. and if you are too, know you're not alone and we’ll get through this <3 stay tuned for this same chapter but from poe’s POV
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New year, new me. You told yourself the same thing at the beginning of each school year.
Although it was usually just said on New Year’s Eve in preparations for the brand new year, you felt it applied to starting a new semester as well: new classes, new teachers, new schedule, new routine. It was also the beginning of your senior year of college, your last first day of school ever. So in a way, you were preparing for something new. You’d graduate before you knew it and then adulthood would creep up on you.
But you could hardly wait to see what the next two semesters would bring you in the meantime.
You made sure to leave your apartment early to stop at your favorite coffee stand in the student center. Waving at your friend Qi’Ra behind the counter, you got yourself in line and replied to your mom and sister’s happy first day texts.
“I knew I’d find you here.”
The familiar voice of your best friend Karé made you smile and you squealed quietly as you hugged her. She had spent the night with her boyfriend Snap after being out of town the last week before school, so you hadn’t seen her after you moved in.
“I’ve missed you! How was your vacation?”
“Awesome as usual. Weather was amazing, we spent everyday out on the water. Snap’s sunburn is finally starting to heal.”
“God yeah, you sent me that picture of his back…that looked awful.”
She nodded. “He was all ‘oh, there’s lots of clouds in the sky, it’s not going to be that bad’ and now I get to hold this over him for the rest of his life.”
You laughed as she rolled her eyes as you finally got to the counter. Qi’Ra already knew your order by heart and, like the first day of every new semester, she gave you your drink free of charge. She whipped it up right away, handing it to you with the promise of getting together soon. You and Karé walked outside, the bright sunshine making your drink sweat and the both wish you didn’t have to spend the next couple hours stuck inside.
“So, how’s the stuff with your dad going?”
You shrugged. “If I had spoken to him at all since he walked out, I’d have something to tell you.”
Karé’s shoulders slumped. “No…seriously?”
You sighed and nodded as you stirred your drink.
“Not one word. I told you my uncle came by a few days after he left to tell us he was okay?” Karé nodded. “A couple of weeks went by and the next thing I know, he’s filing for divorce. But he hasn’t actually talked to Tallie and I.”
“Y/N, I’m so sorry…”
You sighed heavily and shook your head. “It’s whatever. Nothing I can do. Haven’t talked to him since and he abandoned us for his secretary so I don’t plan on talking to him at all.”
Karé nodded slowly and reached over and squeezed your arm and you gave her a small smile of appreciation.
“Anyway…what class are you off to first?”
“My advanced math class.” You made a face and she chuckled. “Yeah, you’re not jealous at all, are you?”
“Not even a little bit.”
“What about you?”
“Oh, I get to start out my day with my half semester class…three hours, twice a week, tons of homework.”
“Fun. Who’s your professor?”
You grabbed your phone from your pocket, bringing up your schedule and looking at the details.
“Uhhh, Dameron. Heard of him?”
“I think he’s one of the newer teachers here.”
“Well, hopefully he’s good.” You took a sip of your drink and checked the time on your phone. “Guess I’ll go find out.”
“See you later, then.”
Karé gave you a quick hug and you walked in opposite directions. You walked to the building of your classroom and though you were grateful for the air conditioning, you hoped that since it was the first day you’d be let out early. The sun was out, flowers were still blooming along the sidewalks despite the late season. Fall semester was always the one you dreaded the most…stuck inside staring at four blank walls during your favorite kind of weather.
The classroom was on the third level, which meant minimal traffic in the halls and big windows that showed a great view of campus. The blinds were open, allowing sunlight to flood into the room and making it that much more welcoming. A few students were already seated and the professor nowhere in sight but his stuff at his desk. You made your way into the room, not finding a friend yet, and walked to a seat right around the middle of the room. You took your things out and waited and scrolled through three different social media apps as more students trickled in. Your name was called and you looked up and saw a girl you worked with the previous semester and smiled as she sat down next to you. At least you kind of knew one person in the class.
“Alright, let’s get started.”
One glance up at the source of the voice was not enough as you practically did a double take. Your professor was an extremely handsome man. Dark hair sat on top of his head in a mess of curls that laid just between styled and unruly. You could see from your seat that his eyes were dark…brown, maybe. He was young; you guessed that he couldn’t be more than thirty-five. As he came around from behind his desk, you took notice of the way his dark blue jeans fit snugly around big thighs. His sleeves were pushed up to show off tan forearms and as he leaned back against his desk, he crossed his arms in front of his broad chest.
“Good morning, everyone.” Three simple words grabbed the attention of every girl in class. “I’m Professor Dameron. I hope you all had a great summer. I don’t know about some of you, but I am very excited to get this semester going.”
There was some polite laughter. He was using a light, friendly tone of voice, making sure his very first impression on people wouldn’t wasn’t a bad one.
“Subject-wise, this is one of my favorite classes to teach. The only way I could get this class in this year was to teach it in half the amount of time as a normal class. I’m warning you now, this is going to be a busy class. We are fitting about fifteen weeks worth of stuff into seven weeks. Attendance is going to be very, very important.”
Some of the students visibly gulped, others nodded slowly as the realization of how much work would have to go into this class started to sink in. “Don’t worry, I will have lots of resources to help you guys. Um, just an example…I will make all of the lectures and slides available on the portal after class, including any key notes from the textbook and discussions that come up during class. That being said, you still need to attend class. I’ll go over more of this when we go through the syllabus.”
You admired him as he spoke. The hint of smile on his face showed his excitement for the class and the new semester. His voice was smooth like honey and you were sure you could listen to him spout off the most boring stuff in the world and not tire of it.
“First things first…attendance.” He turned to grab his clipboard and you and the girl next to you both checked out his ass. “In lied of just calling your names, we’re going to do an icebreaker.”
The collection of heavy sighs made him chuckle lightly. “I know, I know…they’re not always fun and you’ll probably do a whole bunch more after today. Personally, I like to get to know my students. We’ll be spending a lot of time together this semester and the more comfortable you feel talking to me, the more open you’ll be to telling me what you need to help you succeed in this class. So, let’s do it and get it over with. Tell me your name, something fun you did over the summer, your favorite type of music and…what do you think? Favorite color? Favorite animal? “Let’s do favorite animal.”
Glancing around, you saw people look anywhere but at their teacher, hoping they wouldn’t catch his eye and make them go first.
“Alright, come on guys, you’re acting like I’m going to pull your teeth out. I’ll go first. My name is Poe, this summer I visited my dad in Colorado where I grew up and saw friends that live on both coasts. I’m a big fan of classic rock but catch me jamming to a pop song every now and then…” That got some laughs from the class and he laughed with them. “Seriously, anything by the Weeknd.”
“The Weeknd has a lot of songs about sex,” the girl next to you whispered and you nearly choked as you took a sip out of your water bottle.
“And my favorite animal is a dog. Alright, let’s start in the back.”
One by one students introduced themselves. He asked questions about their summer jobs and their summer vacations, genuinely interested in the details and making them feel comfortable talking to him. A couple of people named weird animals as their favorite, such as lizards and dinosaurs, that spurred further discussions and got the class completely off track. It was all fun and games until you got to your row and you counted how many people were before you and practiced what you would say in your head.
“Okay, um, I’m Y/N…” Poe looked at the attendance list, finding your name and marking you down in attendance. “I didn’t do anything super special over the summer, just worked my two jobs and went to the cabin with friends and family. I like pretty much any kind of music, as long as it’s got a good beat I don’t really care what genre it is…though I am a sucker for pop music sometimes. And my favorite animal is an elephant.”
Poe cracked a smile and you let out a quiet sigh of relief as the girl next to you introduced herself. As social as you were, you still hated speaking in front of a classroom full of people.
“Okay, see? That wasn’t so bad.” Poe teased as the last person finished speaking. A few people laughed and you smiled. Almost an hour into class and you already knew this would be one of the classes you’d look forward to the most. “Let’s start going over the syllabus. I’ll have you pass these down and I’ll bring it up on the screen here…”
He handed a stack of papers to a student in the front row and they started passing them down. Poe went back around his desk and connected his laptop to the projector. The desktop image of a Corgi laying in the grass with a toy appeared and you along with half the girls in the class let out not subtle aww’s.
“That’s my dog, Beebs.” Poe smiled sheepishly when he noticed the screen had popped up.
“How old is he?” One of the girls from the back asked.
“He’s probably three, three and a half…I rescued him as a puppy so I’m not too sure.”
More aww’s filled the room as he brought the syllabus up onto the screen. You grabbed one when it reached you and passed it along and a quick glance through the five pages showed the class schedule and detailed expectations. When everyone had a copy, he started going over it, talking about the schedule in extreme detail and laying out what a typical class day would look like.
Poe finished up the syllabus and gave you a fifteen minute break before diving into the first chapter. His teaching style was the dream, the way that every teacher should teach: not too fast, not too slow, answering every single question before moving on, and making sure everyone was keeping up.
Despite it being a three hour class, you no longer dreaded it…you knew that Poe would do as much as he could to help you all succeed.
“Alright, homework for Thursday: chapter two, print out the study guide and start working on it. We’ll finish our chapter one discussion then as well. You’re good to go.”
You gathered up your things, shoving them into your backpack and checking the time to see you had just enough to grab something to eat before your next class. You had just reached the top of the stairs when you realized you hadn’t put your water bottle into your backpack. Letting out an annoyed groan, you doubled back up the stairs towards your classroom. You snuck in past a couple of students that were just leaving and beelined for your desk, making Poe look up at you.
“Sorry, forgot my water bottle.”
You found it tucked under your seat and grabbed it, giving him a small smile as you passed to head back out the door.
“Why elephant?”
Looking back at him, you saw an easy smile on his face. “Sorry?”
“You said your favorite animal was an elephant. Usually it’s household pets or animals that live in the forest…or apparently lizards and t-rex’s. Why elephant?”
You shrugged with a nervous smile. “I, um…I don’t know. I just think they’re beautiful and strong and they roll around in the mud and water and act like such babies…baby elephants actually suck on their trunks like babies suck on their fingers—“
“Do they?” You blushed hard, feeling like you just made a fool of yourself. “So you don’t just think they’re cute…you’re practically an expert on them?”
His tone wasn’t teasing like you expected, but instead curious at the knowledge you shared.
“No, I actually saw that on one of those random Facebook videos.”
A heartfelt laugh erupted from his chest and you laughed with him.
“I know what you’re talking about,” he said as he continued packing up his bag. “They’re those videos that are on random pages you liked years ago or from a news source…I’ve actually found some good recipes from them.”
“So you know. Random but good information.”
He nodded and you felt your phone buzz in your hand. You looked down at it and saw a message and noticed the time.
“I should go, um I have class…I’ll see you around, Mr. Dameron.”
You gave him a small wave and internally cringed at yourself as you headed towards the door, the flush of embarrassment in your face.
It was going to be an interesting semester.
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#poe dameron x reader#poe dameron x y/n#poe dameron fanfiction#back to you series#modern poe dameron#poe dameron fluff#poe dameron x reader insert
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