#and like he 'respects' me but also I'll 'always be his kid' including his sense of control

[l-e-g-i-o-n-losh]

Sometimes i wonder if gaining weight would ever be viable or if it would double fuck my mystery joints to have to carry more (i have in the past been directly ordered by nurses to gain a little weight and prescribed supplements to do so but 1) they are spensive and 2) dad starts waxing fatphobic about "my health" when my ribs are still clearly visible) and then i get caught up in a completely theoretical dysphoria paradox loop about going to the trouble of finally getting top surgery only to gain weight and distribute fat right back to the bust and whether i would actually ever feel ok with my body under any circumstances. Idk.

I think about things like surgery and hrt a lot more than i have since we originally came out bc i feel like if I'm trying to shape my adult life into something i actually want to live then thats a huge component and I've already put it off a decade, but at the same time i still feel so stupid and anxious trying to look into it bc i dont even have regular healthcare and the state of our nation is so sucks and although i feel like i really know who I'm becoming or at least trying to i do NOT feel like i have enough cred to convince dad that i am capable of permanent adult life decisions, especially with how he doesn't even like the thought of me getting my ears pierced. He's always going to feel some degree of posession over my body and like its ok to manipulate me or stalk me or whatever if he "knows better" and its in my "best interest" and right now its not a problem bc we're a household and he gets a lot of managerial power anyways so it doesn't come up much but i always worry in the back of my mind what would happen if i ever did Really move out again.

He wants me to "act my age" and hit normal benchmarks like getting a job and dating and shit but like when am i Ever going to have time to work or meet people socially when I'm a 24/7 live in assistant and where am i going to get the PRIVACY to get to know somebody like that, even IF i wanted to, which i SHOULDN'T HAVE TO. He suggested arranging like zoom playdates for me once so i wouldn't get under socialized. That is NOT going to make me "normal" dude.

#songs that the hyades shall sing #idk sorry idk why im venting rn i just feel anxious and i dont have anywhere else to talk abt this stuff #hes so liberal panic prone abt trans regret especially bc of how he judges certain trans ppl in his personal life #and like he 'respects' me but also I'll 'always be his kid' including his sense of control #and we fucking. begged for blockers or something before we even knew what they were. desperately asked if there was a way for it Not to be #like that and got dismissed and then learned we were trans and found out blockers were real and it Didnt have to be like that and begged #AGAIN and were violently dysphoric and got hit with the 'but what if it's a phase' and 'i don't want you to regret changing your body' #and worst of all the 'well if you're fine with changing your body what grounds do you have to reject medication that will change your brain' #and 'you could always make changes as an adult when you're REALLY sure' (said with the No You Wont tone) #so we shut up and waited and it's been TEN YEARS and we ARE an adult and we've ALWAYS been sure. and he keeps bringing up the #'you know they're finding 25 isn't even a developed brain yet?' like. i knew it was a lie in the first place but i wanted to hope #but having all this pseudoscience culture war crap to back up his moving goalposts is just. i KNOW i can't and shouldn't have to wait for #his approval of my identity. but he's in all my medical shit and he pays for my bus fare so how would i even Try to get help #without having to prove something to him he can ultimately just decide not to believe

[extremelyblackandwhite]

pairing: dad!bucky barnes x au pair!reader

warnings: age gap (reader is 10 years younger than bucky), smut (18+, dni if under 18)

author’s note: here it is! enjoy xx

he says everything i need to hear, and it's like i couldn't ask for anything better. he opens up my door and i get into his car and he says, "you look beautiful tonight" and i feel perfectly fine

Y/N had never met Steve. She knew of him, she knew he was Bucky's best friend who had joined the ad company in New York when Bucky was first assembling it. From what she had heard from other people, he was the only person Bucky really trusted, so much that when the ad company set up shop in London, it was Steve who Bucky sent to manage the whole operation. However, Y/N had always found it somewhat odd that Steve and Bucky were best friends as apparently they were completely different people - at least according to Sam.

Steve was reliable, a goody two shoes who followed the rules and was universally liked by everyone and anyone that came into contact with him - a poster child. He was also married to someone he had known since he was 15, the two had bought a house, picket fence and all, and were carefully considering when to have children. Bucky, on the other hand, was either liked or hatred but always respected. Marriage seemed like something he didn't particularly consider anymore and had had a kid without even wanting one. It didn't make sense the two were close, yet agin opposites attract. Nevertheless, Y/N was yet to meet him. Sadie appeared to like him, or at least liked him enough to include her in her drawings.

Since she was not the one to pick up Sadie up, she had plenty of time to spend wallowing over her PhD thesis and nit pick at every single word by wondering if she used the word 'comparison' too many times. She sighed, burying her hands in her hair and almost hitting her head against the keyboard of her laptop.

      -Hi. - she looked up to see Chris sitting next to her, still wearing his suit and holding his briefcase. - How are you?

      -Chris. - she smiled. It was nice seeing him. - Got off work earlier?

      -Sergeant Barnes dismissed me early today. He was in a mood.

      -He's always in a mood. It's Bucky, after all.

      -He lets you call him that? - he asked and Y/N shrugged. - He doesn't even let us call him James and that's his name.

      -Well, I do sleep in his place and watch over his daughter. I have perks. - she joked. - I'm sorry I had to leave early this morning. I was worried about Sadie.

      -Since you left early, I was wondering if you'd like to maybe spend the night with me again. - he kissed her shoulder. - I'll do the thing you like and then bake you pancakes in the morning.

Y/N smiled. She'd had a wonderful date with Chris and he'd been nothing but charming the whole time; however, she didn't like to leave Sadie by herself. She was little, she didn't understand if Y/N wasn't there to sing her a lullaby or read a Dr. Seuss book or make the buttered noddles the way she liked it.

      -I'm sorry but I need to go home and watch Sadie.

      -I thought Steve Rodgers was in town. - Chris closed Y/N's laptop as it went onto standby. - He usually parades Sadie Barnes around town, so I'm sure Sergeant Barnes wouldn't mind.

      -Yes but Sadie is 2 and she gets nervous around new people.

      -She's not your daughter, Y/N. She's Bucky's and you can't get her used to having you by her side all the time. I mean, you're finishing your PhD soon.

Y/N forced a smile. She knew that, Bucky had told her that, she knew Sadie wasn't hers, she knew that. She moved her laptop to her tote bag, getting up and throwing her hair to the side before making it to the exit. Chris followed after her with a sheepish look.

      -Y/N, I didn't mean it like that. - he apologised, following behind her as she closed and crossed door after door.

      -I know what you meant, Christopher.

      -I just don't want you to get hurt when you eventually leave. It's not like Sergeant Barnes will let you visit Sadie. He's only nice to those who can do something for him.

      -I really would enjoy it if you didn't butt into my work. I don't mess with yours so don't mess with mine.

      -Okay, I'm sorry. - he rushed in front of her, raising his hands up in surrender. - I'm so sorry, Y/N. I just worry about you.

      -I don't need you worrying about me, I can handle myself just fine.

      -I know, Y/N, I know. - he lowered his hands. - I just feel overprotective over you. I've known Barnes for a while and he can be an idiot, I just don't want you to experience that.

      -I've known Bucky for a while too, Chris. I don't need to be protected.

      -I'm sorry. We'll hang out another day when you're not busy with Sadie. Sounds good?

      -I'll think about it.

      -Think about it while I drive you back home?

Chris was nice, Y/N liked him. She told herself that she liked him because she did. He was stunning, he was smart, he had a PhD, what else could she possibly want? The trouble became when he started talking about what would come after her graduation - if she graduated which at this point she didn't believe. But when she did, he was right, it wasn't as if Bucky, being the stubborn man he was, would allow her to continue seeing Sadie. Maybe she shouldn't have gotten this close to Sadie, maybe she should start to distance herself from her. Yet, as she approached the front door and saw the little yellow rubber boots Sadie had begged and begged Bucky for and were still a bit too big for her, she was certain it would be very hard for her to forget the little girl.

She put the key on the keyhole and turned around. Chris smiled at her, leaning down to kiss her before pushing the door open. She was expecting an empty house, instead she turned around to see Sam and the much discussed Steve holding Sadie.

      -Hm, I'll pick you up tomorrow for breakfast, Y/N. - Chris waved her goodbye leaving her now in the very awkward situation with Sam and Steve.

Sam chuckled to himself before taking a gulp of coffee. His eyes searched for Steve with a hint of "told you so".

      -Bucky gave you the day off? - Y/N asked as she took off her scarf and coat.

      -Bucky is not the boss of me. - Sam replied. - So ... Chris Davis?

      -Mind your business, Wilson.

      -What? It just explains a lot doesn't it? - Sam continued on teasing, mostly talking to Steve than Y/N. - Oh, this is Steve by the way. A weirdly tall blonde stranger isn't holding Sadie.

      -I know Steve from the photos. - Y/N poured herself a cup of coffee, pointing towards one of the many frames with photos of Steve. - I'm Y/N.

      -The heartbreaker, I know. - he extended his hand towards her. Y/N furrowed her brows, what was that supposed to mean? Luckily for her, Steve corrected himself as Sam discretly elbowed him on the side. - I meant rule breaker. Sam said you rode Bucky quite hard.

      -Maybe not, based on how much of a bitch he was today. - Sam chuckled mostly to himself.

      -Don't swear in front of the 3 year old, please.

      -Sorry, Y/N, I don't know what's the Bluey equivalent of a massive pain in the ass Bucky Barnes.

Y/N rolled her eyes, moving to the kitchen to start making dinner. Yet before, she could, Sadie hugged her leg demanding attention. The au pair smiled, leaning down to pick her up and kiss her cheek countless times getting a few good giggles from the 2 year old. Sam and Steve mostly kept to themselves, sitting in the living room while gossiping (although they would never admit to it) about Bucky and his many, many shenanigans. Y/N tried not to pay much mind to it, not wanting to know about Bucky's sexual escapades and trying to ensure Sadie didn't hear any of it.

Bucky came home, as per usual as of lately, very late. He came in like a hurricane, dropping his jacket and briefcase and making a direct bee line to grab himself a drink. He barely acknowledged her existence, still somewhat stirring in his passive aggressive behaviour, instead going to greet Sam and Steve.

(...)

Dinner had gone by pretty uneventful, most of it being Steve and Bucky reminiscing about their teenage years and early 20s as well as Steve posing Y/N the occasional question about her career and studies. She'd finished her evening by putting Sadie to bed and going herself to bed leaving Bucky and Steve by themselves to tidy up the plates and the kitchen - something Steve had told Y/N not to do.

      -So, why are you here? - Bucky asked as he loaded the dishwasher.

      -Can't I come see my best friend and work colleague?

      -Without your wife? No, something's up.

      -Believe it or not me and my wife don't come as a package deal.

      -Cut it off, Steve. You don't visit unannounced and you don't go anywhere without your wife specially when you're trying for a baby. Why are you here, Rogers?

      -I heard about you and Anna. - the blonde sighed. - That was stupid.

      -Who told you?

      -Anna.

Bucky stopped loading the dishwasher, a rare look of surprise on his face. Anna? Why would Anna be talking to Steve?

      -Why the fuck would you be talking to Anna? - he said in a silent tone, ponctuated by deep breathes as he attempted to ground himself and not get angry.

      -I never stopped talking to Anna, Bucky. - Steve felt uneasy as he said this.

      -What? - Bucky shut his eyes. - You've been talking to the mother of my child, the same child who is your godchild, the same child who got abandoned by her mother at my doorstep right after she was born?

      -We've known Anna since she was 6, Bucky. I wasn't gonna drop her, not when she needed help.

      -What help did she need? Abandoning more children?

      -You know that's not fair, Bucky. - Steve crossed his arms. - Just because she doesn't want to be a mother, doesn't mean leaving Sadie was less hard.

      -So what, Steve? What are you here for? You're here to come ask me to be kinder to Anna? What the fuck are you here for?

      -I'm here because you keep trying to make something work that won't work! Bucky, she doesn't want to be a mother, stop it. Stop trying to make Anna a mother to Sadie, she doesn't want that.

      -I'm not trying to make anyone into a mother.

      -Oh sure, you're just trying to find Sadie a mother but because you're too chicken to introduce her to any of the girlfriends you've had, you always pick Anna, trying to make her something she isn't.

      -Oh shut up, Steve. Sadie is my priority, she's my daughter, I'm not gonna introduce her to women who are not a fixture in my life!

      -And what's even going on between you and your au pair?

      -What is that supposed to mean?

      -You're feuding with her boyfriend.

      -He's not her boyfriend.

      -You're feuding with Chris Davis. Chris Davis? And for what?

      -I don't owe you any explanation on how I run my company that you work for.

      -You're playing the CEO card, Barnes? Is that it?

      -Chris Davis is not the man for Y/N.

      -What and you are? You're quitting trying to make Anna the mother and moving on to Y/N?

      -So that's the only reason I like women as of late? They can be mothers to my child?

      -You're being self destructive. Stop bullying Chris Davis before she figures it out and quits or he gets annoyed enough and breaks up with her. She has a boyfriend, let it be.

      -Coming from the guy who broke someone's engagement?

      -I didn't go around trying to actually break it, Bucky. Just because she's good with Sadie does not mean it's right for you.

      -And what would you know?

      -I know you. You're gonna date a postgraduate student? You're gonna expect someone who is yet to start her life to settle down and play wife and mother?

      -No, of course not. I would never ask that of her.

      -Then what? Is it because she hasn't slept with you and your fantasies have gotten out of control?

      -I love her.

taglist : @talesofadragon @themermaidscales82 @winters1917 @vladsgirlxx @stinkerbelle007 @maybefoxysouls @unaxv

#sebastian stan #sebastian stan/reader #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan/y/n #sebastian stan x y/n #sebastian stan x you #sebastian stan/you #bucky #bucky barnes #bucky/reader #bucky x reader #bucky/you #bucky x you #bucky/y/n #bucky x y/n #bucky imagine #sebastian stan imagine

[alastairstom]

alright alright I’ll ask then run us down how Alastair is such amazing cptsd rep

Okay okay okay. So I have a lot to say here and my ADHD has been causing me Problems(TM) today, so I'm sorry if this answer is incoherent and all over the place. But I have SO MANY THOUGHTS on Alastair, and how he's my beloved blorbo, and how he probably is the most authentic portrayal of cPTSD I have ever seen.

The Paradox of Maturity

So let me start by saying that I, and most other people who I know with cPTSD, have a strange experience of simultaneously feeling very old and very young. Alastair is an excellent embodiment of this - he is extremely mature in many ways and highly immature in others.

He knows how to engage with adults well because he always has been forced to do so; he's a caregiver and a protector because he was thrust into those roles when he was young. It's also worth noting that Alastair is highly intelligent. In fact, I would go so far as to say that he is probably the most intelligent mortal character in TSC holistically (yeah, Christopher and Henry are geniuses, but they have limited scopes of knowledge. Alastair knows things about almost everything, including observing and reading people to figure out their needs). In any case, these are all ways that Alastair is mature, and he uses them well. He knows how to engage with adults, how to command respect, how to behave as someone that they should take seriously.

In many other ways, though, Alastair is extremely immature. While he knows how to get on well with adults and show people like Will and Tessa that he is "an extremely well-mannered young man," he struggles to connect with his peers. This is true even when he's not bullying them. His jokes, while funny to me, don't seem to hit the landing with a lot of the other kids; the sense of humor is too mature, and they can't figure out what he means when he's being silly. He's socially awkward, and despite being really empathetic (which I'll get to in a minute), he comes off as emotionally stunted. He's distant. This is why Cordelia worries that he doesn't love her; it's why Thomas thinks he's sniping at him when he makes a comment about Paris being "a vacation from a vacation." He struggles to relate to people his own age. The epitome of the kid who's BFF with the teacher.

Another immaturity-disguised-as-maturity that Alastair has is hyper competence. He's grown up a caregiver, and he's done that alone. He wants to connect with people, but does not know how to rely on anyone; this is one reason that he is "afraid" of his relationship with Thomas (as he talks about outside of Matthew's flat). Thomas makes him feel vulnerable because he's someone that Alastair learns to trust and rely on.

Alastair, the Empath

And yet. And YET. Alastair is so filled with empathy, and love, and care, that it hurts to watch sometimes.

When I think of pure gestures of love, I think of those gestures that the person on the receiving end of them will never know of. Two of the best examples I can think of that are, in fact, Alastair.

He sacrifices his entire childhood so Cordelia can have one. In an ideal world, Cordelia would never have known that. It would have been something that Alastair took to the grave, and he actively worked to ensure that she would not find out for a long time.

Then there's Thomas. Alastair trailed Thomas alone while he was patrolling alone, just so someone would be watching over him. Thomas was angry with him at the time, and Alastair had no reason to think that they would ever speak again. But he followed him anyway, just to make sure that he was safe and okay. And Thomas would never have found out about this; no one would have, if not for Thomas's arrest. It was another act of pure, selfless love.

Alastair also has a knack for sensing what people need and doing it. When Matthew needed some tough love in ChoT to quit his drinking, Alastair provided it despite the fact that he and Matthew had been in constant, deeply acrimonious conflict for years. Alastair is the only person besides Christopher to empathize with Grace when James shares what she did to him. Alastair understands Cordelia's worries about the Carstairs family and is in one occurrence speaks her mind:

“Thank you, Mr. Herondale,” she said. “I hope to live up to your expectations.” Tessa looked surprised. “Why would you ever worry about that?” “Cordelia worries,” Alastair said unexpectedly, “because of the idiots who mutter about our father, and our family. She should not let them bother her.”

It's worth noting that Alastair can also use his ability to read people for bad. As Thomas notes, he can figure out your insecurities at a glance; this is how he knows to target James for his unusual eyes and demonic heritage, and to target Matthew for his visible cues of queerness.

But is this trauma? I believe so. Trauma makes people extremely sensitive to their environments. Growing up with Elias - and being in a relationship with Charles - Alastair would have needed to read cues to interpret their moods quickly. He also would have needed to figure out how inebriated Elias was at a glance so he could proceed to deal with him appropriately; we see a bit of this at Cordelia's wedding in ChoI.

Another good example of Alastair being sensitive to the needs of others (but also hypercompetent) is when he tells Thomas that he cannot make Thomas the sole reason he stays in London. "It will put too much pressure on Thomas" is horribly thoughtful and insightful, and "mature." But it also is almost ridiculous in how stunted a worldview it is, how much it sidelines Alastair's needs because Alastair is not used to prioritizing his own needs. His own happiness is not a consideration.

According to psychologists,

As children, survivors learned to read other people — to read their tone, their movement, their words, and their emotions. This was helpful to safely avoid danger, to know what a situation called for, and to generally rise to what any circumstance required. As adults, their challenge can be to not feel swamped by other people’s emotions or dilemmas and to not let other people’s needs take over in every situation. As adults, the value in this is they can intuit what others may need. Through this, they can be empathic, caring, and kind. They may seek to understand another’s perspective; they can allow for differences and look to find fair solutions for all.

This describes Alastair to a T. The other items on the given list of life skills that trauma survivors have also describe Alastair: responsibility and competence, as we discussed earlier, as well as an ability to connect with others.

Vulnerability

It's not all about reading people, either. Alastair also has a lot of trouble with vulnerability, but once he feels safe enough to be vulnerable (even subconsciously), he can't control his physiological emotional responses. I'm specifically thinking of two instances here, both with Thomas:

The Sanctuary scene, in which he cries in a moment that is probably THE most vulnerable he has ever been with another person, and

The scene outside Matthew's flat, when he nearly cries as he tells Thomas that he is moving to Tehran and is afraid of fleeing and becoming like his father.

In these moments, Alastair is not only the competent and highly intelligent adult that he is in fact. He is also his wounded inner child, having "persistent and chronic feelings of emptiness, helplessness and hopelessness." (Also displayed when he says he wasted his chance with Thomas, btw).

You can look over the "wounded inner child" list here, but some points I associate with Alastair include:

Self-sabotaging behaviours (fighting with TMT, almost moving to Tehran, going back to care for Charles at the beginning of ChoT)

Difficult relationships with family members (the distance from Cordelia, being Sona's partner in crime, everything about Elias)

Self-criticism/low self-esteem (he literally calls himself something that's "unhealthy and bad for [Thomas]" in ChoI)

Relationship issues (this would be a whole other fucking essay about the cycle of abuse and how survivors of domestic abuse often get into abusive relationships, but Charles ofc. Also the fact that it seems incomprehensible to him that Thomas might love him)

(Mmmmm would you like a "get to know your wounded inner child" fic about Alastair? Yes? Okay. I'm getting ideas.)

Ambiguously Neurodivergent

This brings me to my next point. Alastair feels... distinctly neurodivergent, but in a "slippery" way. He has some of the social challenges and high levels of intelligence commonly associated with autism; he has the empathy and hyper-awareness commonly associated with ADHD and other forms of autism. He is very analytical and thoughtful, but also very sensitive and emotional. It's a conundrum.

But those with cPTSD often feel like this. cPTSD is often misdiagnosed as autism (which is, in fact, something that happened to me personally.) It mimics a lot of autistic traits while still feeling slightly... off. Not quite like autism. Not quite like ADHD. Not quite bipolar, not quite borderline, not quite anything. It's just cPTSD, neurodivergence in its own right.

The Mask and the Real: A Non-Conflict

The last thing I'd like to say about Alastair is this. And it's really important, and what sets Alastair apart from other portrayals of cPTSD.

Alastair has armor. Alastair has a mask. But that mask is REAL. He and Matthew are two of the only characters that have this, in my opinion. Other good portrayals of cPTSD, like Ben Gross from Never Have I Ever (another blorbo of mine), have a hardened armor-shell exterior to hide the wounded child inside. In cases like Ben's, this is a facade.

This isn't true of Alastair.

I talk about this in my last fic a bit:

He was smart; he was clever. His tongue was a whip, and that was what made him Alastair Carstairs. On some days, he could almost believe that this was the complete truth of himself. It wasn’t difficult; his personality was not a façade. He was cutting, cunning, convincing. He did have sharp edges, and ones that he was learning to love as Thomas ran his fingers along them and did not draw blood. And yet, underneath that layer, there was more to him. There were the long, nightmare-filled midnights that Thomas held him through when he stayed over, drawing steady circles on his back and telling him that it was alright not to be quite well. There were outings where he would catch a whiff of gin’s strong scent and cover his nose, willing his eyes to show nothing as he walked away too quickly.

These traits aren't lies. They're not a shell he's built up around himself. They're real, and he has unfortunately been made to weaponize his sense of humor and his cutting wit and his intelligence.

Alastair feels real - and his cPTSD feels real - because he is a fascinating dichotomy, an enigma, and above all a great depiction of a person who feels real. His complexities aren't glossed over. The narrative is sympathetic to him while not making him a Poor Innocent Woobie. He makes mistakes, he makes amends. He laughs and he cries and he hates and he loves, and he experiences every part of the human condition to its fullest on-page. explicitly.

In the end, the only other character who does that is his equal opposite in all things, Matthew Fairchild. But I'll leave that essay for another day.

I guess I'll tag @alastair-appreciation-month in this because, hey, it's Alastember. Why not.

#alastair carstairs #tsc deep dives #cptsd #psychoanalysis #chain of thorns #chot

[cocolacola]

hellsing pokemon au !!

as promised, im going back to my usual hellsing shenanigans with some pokemon stuff. ive had this in my brain for months but have never gotten around to doing anything with it! my autistic ass has absorbed information about pokemon before i could have normal thought patterns, so hopefully my takes are at least a little satisfying. feel free to interact with ur own thoughts and suggestions!

i provided long explanations of each, but if you dont want to read all that just look at the pictures :P

long post ahead!

note: these aren't definitive teams, just me throwing around ideas. don't take this as the holy grail of headcanons or anything.

seras victoria

boltund would be her first pokemon i think, her main partner from before her work with the organization. togetic is here because idk im a togetic 4lifer and im a kinnie ? it just really made sense to me, just vibes, plus i think she really needed a flying type. may become a togekiss later, that would be cute. umbreon is pip's eevee that she evolved, and blastoise is a gift from walter. i think she needs more red pokemon to match her color palette and vampire vibes so ill probably add to this!

alucard

alucard needs a legendary of course, so darkrai. i think they would be good friends, they give the same "misunderstood tortured soul" vibes. houndoom to represent baskerville, noivern to fit the vampire/bat aesthetic.

and an important distinction:

i think girlycard should have a hisuian sneasel. they're the same critter. two ancient beings.

sir integra

im surprised with how much i struggled with this one. i feel like a fake fan. smh, anyways. sirfetch'd is perfect to me-even the unevolved farfetch'd is super fitting too-but i included the final form for this post. i wanted to stick with galar pokemon, but aegislash is literally a sword. cmon. stoutland is a recommendation from a friend that i 100% agree with. ive always associated her with the serperior line, so snivy was probably her starter. i think that'd be cute. im really open to suggestions on this one because i think she deserves more steel or normal types.

pip bernadotte

this is a big one! there were so many good options with pip... and i didnt even mean to color code it 😅 i wanted him to have an electric type to match seras (to add to the whole rivals-to-lovers aesthetic), so his main partner is raichu! it was between that or mudsdale, who i also really like (and is the only one on this team who cant be found in kalos, haha). i wanted him to have a bird (for the geese) so there's dodrio. scrafty and tauros just fit the vibe perfectly to me-they're sorta like honorable mentions. eevee is originally his but he eventually gives it to seras, who evolves it into umbreon. if pip would have kept it, i think it would have evolved into sylveon (the whole kalos thing).

walter c dornez

some interesting picks for walter. corvisquire is his main guy, his "angel of death", he's raised it from a rookidee since he was a kid. maybe it would evolve into corviknight when he becomes Dark Walter. not sure how that would work. i choose not to think about dark walter. bisharp is there for the steel typing vibes as well as the chess symbolism: it really hits right for me, with walter's arc being about how he's played as a "pawn", in a sort of way. also a nod to a very dear friend of mine who loves walter and the pawniard line respectively. :) now, why leavanny, you ask? it learns string shot, of course! also because id like to think he would raise a sewaddle in his old age to help him with things around the estate.

..aaand im out of room for images in the post! i'll make a part 2 with some bonus thoughts + the iscariot organization if i feel like it. bye for now!

#thank u to @pebblezone for inspiring me to actually post this #anyways i #can u guys tell that i like pip #shakes violently #tried to include some unconventional picks but... #this shows incredible bias to pokemon that i really really like #*looking at tauros and togetic* you wouldnt be here if it weren't for me #hellsing #hellsing ultimate #pokemon au #seras victoria #alucard hellsing #integra hellsing #pip bernadotte #walter c dornez

[queerprayers]

Are head cannons about Jesus heresy because I have so many

Welcome, beloved. Go for it, I support you. I'll elaborate, though, as always:

Let's get one thing clear first: heresy is defined by people in power ("adherence to a religious opinion contrary to church dogma") and obviously very much depends on what church dogma you're following. Many of my beliefs are heresy to Roman Catholic doctrine, but I don't much mind, because I'm not Catholic. Heresy as an accusation has also been used for centuries to silence minority voices and diversity of belief, so I don't use it all that much. Generally I feel like it's used to shut down conversations or insult someone.

On the other hand, it's sometimes nice to separate a difference of opinion vs. clear contrariness within a community, if that makes sense. Christians within the same denomination will disagree on lots of things, and it can be useful to identify what's a disagreement within the same belief system, as opposed to what's just a different belief system. The word "heresy" could be used to differentiate these situations. If someone shows up to my church with a different belief about the relation of the Genesis creation myth to the reality of evolution, that's a discussion we could have within the same belief system. On the other hand, if someone shows up at my church who believes the Book of Mormon is the word of God, while that's also a discussion we could have with respect, it's very clearly a completely different belief system. We might both be Christian, but that's heresy to me, meaning on a completely dogmatic page. When it's used not as an insult or for silencing, but for neutrally describing a belief that inherently goes against a certain system, I can appreciate its use.

I also really like the separation of things you're curious about and like to imagine, things you believe, and things you build your faith around. (I think I got this idea from Luther's beliefs on the Apocrypha.) I study and find meaning from Muslim and Jewish texts, but I don't inherently believe in them, and I definitely don't stake my faith on them. I believe many things about the afterlife, but I don't build my practice around them, because I know and understand so little, and don't have any dogma I connect with. While I won't claim to understand it or be able to prove it, and sometimes doubt it, I stake my faith on and build my practice around Jesus's identity as God. This is a really cool exercise to investigate your own thoughts/beliefs/practices. Obviously we can't separate everything into neat boxes, but it can be so useful to recognize what's most important to us.

The canonical gospels tell us what the writers believed was important about Jesus, what we should build our faith around. But we aren't told so much. We know barely anything about Jesus's childhood/young adult years, or about what he did in the fifty days between his resurrection and ascension. We don't know anything about his relationship with his father, or whether he experienced romantic attraction, or how he met many of his friends, or most of his siblings' names, or what jokes he told around the dinner table, or what he looked like, or what his laugh sounded like. I yearn for this knowledge, I imagine anyone who loves him yearns for this knowledge. I want to know God, and God was a human, and learning these things is how we know other humans. I love my friends by knowing their laugh and meeting their families and holding their hands. Why would I not want that, or at least want to know what it was like, with the most important human of all?

It's natural, when connecting with Jesus, to fill in the blanks. To tell our own stories. People have told stories about his childhood for centuries. The Cherry Tree Carol was a favorite of mine when I was a kid. "What was the God of the universe like as a child?" is an incredible question! Every movie/book chronicling Jesus's life includes the author's head-canons. Every painting of Jesus is an assumption/projection about his looks. Should we do away with religious art just because it always includes the creator's biases? (That's not necessarily a hypothetical question--some religions do put restrictions on this. Mainstream Christianity never has, though.) An important point is that telling stories doesn't mean you believe them. I engage with lots of things I don't necessarily believe. I think everyone should be able to and allowed to do that; it's good for us.

Saying "Jesus is gay and had relationships with men" is literal heresy to lots of people. Jesus being celibate/not engaging in romance is very important to many belief systems, and he obviously didn't idolize/prioritize romance--romantic love isn't mentioned at all in the gospels. And of course this would be heresy to anyone who's homophobic. You could also bring up that Jesus was a faithful Jewish man, and regardless of his personal feelings, it might be important that he followed his cultural/religious sexual norms. Someone might really value friendship in the gospels, and to put romance where it doesn't explicitly exist might devalue that narrative to you. To me, the most important question would be: are you staking your faith on this? Building your practice around Jesus experiencing romance is heresy to my belief system, because it's not something we're given, and whether he did or didn't isn't foundational to any belief I value. But telling stories about it? Even thinking it might be true? Who am I to stop you? I love boykeats' poems about this very subject. (especially this one, and also this one)

Another thing to ask is whether the story contradicts canon. I can't not used fandom terminology here: is it canon-compliant? If I say Jesus didn't actually die when he was crucified, he was just in a coma/close to death, this is a perfectly realistic turn of events, but is inherently heresy and destroys the foundational Christian belief about death/resurrection. If I say Jesus had blonde hair, this is historically inaccurate and ridiculous, but it doesn't contradict the gospels technically. With context, it becomes racist, though, and is no longer just a story. But if I say Jesus told lots of jokes to his friends, this doesn't change anything foundational to Christianity, doesn't cause any harm, and is quite lovely to imagine.

All this to say: all of your beliefs are heresy to someone out there, maybe to me, probably to the pope. The stories you tell, the things you think about Jesus, your head-canons we might say, are going to contradict someone else's dogma, it's inevitable. That can't be a reason to not engage in belief, though. It's useful to investigate whether a belief is heresy or not, but don't be afraid of that. Don't conform for the sake of conforming.

I don't stake my belief/build my practice around Jesus using things that aren't canon to my belief system. That's a choice, one you don't have to make. But I do believe things that no canon can prove, and with curiosity and creativity I seek out other narratives to expand my thinking.

Rachel Held Evans described choosing to be Christian as the story she's willing to be wrong about. What are you willing to be wrong about? What kinds of stories do you tell and how do they connect you with God? What's foundational to your dogma, and what do you simply believe, and what do you imagine/learn about? Happy creating, beloved. Go forth and connect with Jesus your own way, which sounds like it includes imagination and humor. Be reflective, but also unapologetic. Respect the dogma of any denomination you may belong to, but use it as a starting point, a tradition, and a community-building tool, not a prison.

<3 Johanna

P.S. My favorite Jesus headcanon is that he was super physically affectionate. I don't know, I just really admire how close his friendships were and open he was about loving those around him, and the footwashing & anointing narratives connect to my own stories about him serving/protecting/loving through physical closeness. I'm really physically affectionate, and I like projecting, I guess. I'm not starting a church about it, but it's a story I hold close.

#asks #no one's allowed to ask for my AO3

[sunyandmony]

hello again! I just saw your new blog and followed it, but before I go interact with it I have a question:

What exactly is the blog about? Are there any boundaries?

Oh, hello! Glad to see you're here, welcome:>

Prepare for big rant! 📖

As for boundaries, that'll be more for Sunny boy here, he is a little shy himself but I'll talk for him a bit!

Sunny can be a sweetheart at times, while he may not seem like so with adults, he just is!

Sunny also prefers to not be called 'a thing' or 'it', because it brings up his past, which he doesn't talk about, and I respect him.

Sunny had quite a few events that changed him, before the first one, he was the one liked, not Moon, but afterwards, kiddos put him aside as if he is 'a toy', well, some of them! (Don't tell Sunny but he is kinda bad at lying-)

Sunny has no romantic interests, so anyone interacting with him will be either best friends or friends or just strangers.

While Sunny can tolerate almost anything for company, he has his limits, set as these:

No rude talking, swearing or unnecessary violence (Sunny you're not a teacher)

'None of that bad nonsense and unfriendly stuff here, nah ah!' -Sun

Meanwhile Sunny has little to no one to talk with except Moon, Glamrock Chica and a few staff bots, sadly he can be a bit overwhelming, but not always!

Sun is the introverted type that just likes to go away the moment the kids are gone, he doesn't consider the kids as a danger as he does for adults, that's why Moon talks for him most of the times.

And talking about Moon, he is the head security meanwhile there's no Vanessa as she was fired long ago for damaging company property.

Moon is a lot more equipped then Sun, having secret functions for security routes, he is not allowed to take action himself if the threat doesn't pass the necessary to be one.

Moon is more extroverted and usually is the one to stand up for Sun even so, he hangs out with everyone around the Star Plex, though he doesn't have any romantic interests neither, he particularly likes to mess with Roxanne for some reason I still don't know myself..(he told me he's after me if I tell you-)

Meanwhile Moon hasn't seen any threat in a while, so he usually just skips his security routes and goes straight to messing with the others going from staff bots to map bots and even the poor cleaning bots, and though no one kinda minds him, they're still aware of it, so they know.

No staff has done anything for a reason all of them knows, another incident but this time including Moon, but his was covered much more easily then Sun's, because while Moon's was private Sun's happened during work time, so it makes sense, kinda-

Moon likes less louder places, while DJ's is loud during the day, it's pretty quiet at night, so he hangs out there with someone or just alone by himself, doing things like checking for intruders or exploring around more to see if staff changed anything around. And his favorite is:' Catch the bug', in which DJ's little spiders run around everywhere and he finds them in a limited time, which is mostly to test how fast he truly is.

Moon idolizes his brother even through all of this, and though he is the one to do everything, he still loves his big brother, they once did share the same body while prototype-build 2856 was being built, one of their old scrapped bodies, but staff separated them last minute when they got several errors of losing both AI's if they do the operation the way they intended to.

Moon always feels watched, everywhere he goes, that's why he doesn't warm up so easily as Sun would if you said just 'hi' to him, Moon is probably the second tallest animatronic here (except Sun and the DJ), but he always makes it fair by being slightly hunched over, so a average height adult is child sized to him, and a child is bean sized, as he chooses to call them.

Usually Moon's the one to present most events going on, but as of late, he is been acting up, so he gets a break off from staff to try and clear his systems himself again as he forgot to not long before.

Also, no, he don't bite, he only bark(hiss) and walks away.

/aka this is not even all, just a short, but I think you might get it, I guess, and I'll like to see you guess why the text color changes XD/

Also, you can ask even the creator, which is me, stuff -

Me after rizzing myself:

#sunyandmony asks #ask and you shall receive #no context #dca fandom #i am not okay #this is a joke #i guess #but only to some or just to me 😭

[rabbitholeresearch]

It's Arven's Fault :( : A Theory

When the book was first written, it was by a man named Heath. A man who went on an expedition with an unnamed team and his beloved Cyclizar! There, he met fantastical creatures that we know now as Paradox Pokemon, including a strange-looking Donphan and a creator we only know as the Disc Pokemon. 60 years later, this same man who saw amazing things, is being discredited because what he saw in Area Zero was too fantastical to be real. In the world of Pokemon, someone said, “That’s not real.” Yeah.

Area Zero is a brutal environment that only those with permission can enter due to how dangerous the area is which brings the question Arven: Why is he getting special treatment just cuz his mom and dad are professors? Talk about elitists!

It’s been three months but spoilers for the end of Scarlet/Violet respectively! For all intents and purposes, from this moment on, I will talk about the games through the Scarlet perspective cuz, for me, it’s a lot easier to explain to Paradoxmons this way, but also because I played the game itself. I loved Scarlet and all I can hear when I see Koraidon’s goofy face is the distant sound of its feet slapping against linoleum tiles like an uncoordinated frog.

Okay but seriously, why was Arven given access to Area Zero before the game, and even in post-game? It doesn’t make sense. It’s extremely dangerous to go here. Even if he’s the professor’s kid it doesn’t make sense. What possessed him to go into Area Zero which resulted in Mabosstiff getting severely hurt? And I offer you, his anger.

We will be talking about the final plot line, “A Way Home,” so AGAIN. SPOILERS. Alright, I did it twice now. Moving on.

In the postgame, the professor tasks us with breaking her out of the Zero Lab, which is on lockdown as a safety measure. Remember that. This was a safety thing that started it all. 

Here we are pressing buttons at the four separate research stations with varying journals as well as rest and teleport points for easy access throughout the unmapped Area Zero, which yes does not have a map. It truly is a world of its own in the Great Crater of Paldea. In fact, it was through Area Zero my friends and I discovered you can’t invade each other’s craters in the PokePortal function which honestly made me sad cuz I wanted to catch Mecha-Godzilla and Mecha-Mothra on my own but I did eventually get them in trade.

The journals in these stations tell us a lot about the professor and, thereupon, Arven. At R.S.1, we read:

“We've determined that this energy crystallization is linked to the being we call ▊▊▊▊▊▊.

The interlocking hexagonal plates that comprise ▊▊▊▊▊▊'s shell must somehow cause this phenomenon—which I've dubbed "Terastallizing."

And:

“Thanks to my prototype Tera Orb, I secured corporate funding for my research and made a laboratory in the lighthouse near Cabo Poco.

Someday, though, I'll return to the crater and resume my study of these crystals.”

With these alone, we can determine that Arven is around 6. Why? Because in the game, we learn that Professor Sada had invented Tera Orbs, about 10 years before the game starts!

Arven has grown up alone in the Poco Path Lighthouse Lab for a long time, actually. He even mentions numerous times how his mom is always buried in her work and has no time for him, which is sad considering what we know now. Sorry Arven. Your mom was hot though.

Anyway, we learn in RS4’s journals that not only has she managed to build a highly sophisticated AI but that her partner, “that man”, has left (“not long after “that boy was born.”).

As someone who gets so hyperfocused on tasks that time doesn’t pass normally, not long after Arven was born, could mean frankly anywhere between 2 minutes after birth or 6 years after birth. Either way, Sada is bitter Turo left, leaving a pile of research in this lab in Poco Path alone with her son.

We also learn about an incident where civilians had seen Koraidon’s amazing power and scared a lot of people. The professor made the decision to not only return Koraidon to Area Zero but also bury herself in research to later build an AI and pull in a second Koraidon.

That’s sad. Not like in a mean way, just in general. Of course, the pronouns are altered in Violet, but either way, we get a story of a professor with a broken heart. Aw. Poor professors. Its hard not to sympathize when you realize they were probably really hurt by them leaving the professor alone with a child.

Or what it probably actually was was like her coworker that she occasionally had some…cardio with had quit.

It is noted that Professor Sada, when returning from Area Zero is not seen by Arven until the events of the game. Meaning that the moment Sada took Koraidon back to the crater, Arven hasn’t seen Sada. Meaning the Tera Orbs was the last major event Arven could have been a part of!

But Arven says he grew up with the red lizard. He also has its Pokeball. Its possible the professor saw what will be our Koraidon’s passive nature and decided leaving it out of its Pokeball was fine! In fact, she probably packed her bags and got on her bikemon and sped off saying she was getting milk.

So confirmed. Arven hasn’t seen Sada or Koraidon in 10 years. So what was it that compelled him to go to Area Zero?

“I wanna give my mom a piece of my mind.” GRRRRRR. I’ve got mommy issues and its my only personality trait.

Trust me dude. Using that as your only personality trait will leave you sad and angry. Wait.

Arven tells us later on in his Path of Legends story that Mabosstiff had been hurt after an attack from a rampaging pokemon inside of the crater when he was trying to see his mom. He repeats this sentiment when Penny sees Scream Tail and remarks on how cute it is.

Go back though. He was trying to see his mom. It is confirmed that Arven went into the crater to see his mom. Meaning this: Arven was trying to see his mom which might’ve set off the territorial Koraidon’s instincts.

A stretch? Not so much, actually.

At the beginning of the game we see our box legendary launching up from the clouds of Area Zero before flying over Paldea to show off what our beautiful region that we’re about to explore looks like and I want whatever sandwich he ate to provide infinite flying cuz that would’ve been funny to see in co-op.

After we feed our box a sandwich and get Damsel in Distress style rescued by said lizard, we meet Arven for the first time. And what is the first thing he says upon seeing Koraidon: "What're you doing out here?!"

Arven realizes Koraidon being out here is bad. Like insanely bad. It’s a bad taste in his mouth bad. He remarks how the memories do leave a bad taste in his mouth as well. While yeah, that makes sense, bad memories do leave a sort of bitter taste, but for me, this says more.

Bleh! I remember you as the reason my mom left me alone for ten years!

Bleh! If you hadn’t been taken away, I wouldn’t be emo!

Bleh! If you hadn’t been here, I never would’ve gone into Area Zero to watch my dog get nearly killed and can’t be possibly healed except for these herbs I saw in a book that I just found in my mom’s old lab that I was in just before the player and Nemona walked up.

However, this is countered by Arven saying this after being defeated: "But if you really think you can take Koraidon off my hands for me...you'll need this. It's the Poké Ball that brute's been kept in."

That brute’s been kept in. Wait, does he mean over the last ten years or just in general that’s Koraidon’s pokeball? I don’t think it’s the former. Not because its put a hole in my idea, but because to keep a pokemon stored in a pokeball for so long. We do know that when Pokemon go in, they almost shrink down and become data. Data huh–I might have ideas for a certain Kanto Cryptid–

Moving on. I doubt anyone would keep a pokemon in a pokeball for a decade as Pokemon are confirmed to age within Pokeballs. The only incidents we’ve seen of a pokemon being fine after being confined for so long are Sir Aaron’s Lucario in Lucario and the Mystery of Mew and Spiritomb. And fine? That’s a relative term considering Spiritomb had to be sealed because of its power and Lucario had a panic attack and went into shock when it got out.

So the Professor likely left the Pokeball behind seeing as the book was also left behind. Meaning the Professor left quickly. She just suddenly disappeared until the Player comes to Paldea.

But what does this mean? Based on the timing and the build up: I think Arven is the reason his parents tragically die.

As far as we’re aware, Sada invented AI Sada sometime after Turo left and never reported it as the AI could not physically leave the crater due to the Tera Crystal energy. She even pulled a second Koraidon with the help of her AI partner. She’s been hyperfocused for ten years in Area Zero, likely living off the environment within. This isn't to say our professor is forgiven for her actions.

She was in Research Station 4 when the more aggressive Koraidon attacked Our Koraidon. 

Just before Paradise Protection Protocol takes control of the AI professor, the AI actually apologizes to Arven.

On top of that, when AI professor sends us to Area Zero at the end of the Path of Legends quest, we learn from Arven he used to come here to play all the time as a kid. Meaning, he was likely being watched by Director Clavell or even Jacq, which would probably give a realistic explanation as to why he’s allowed into Area Zero. They gave him access because they believe Arven is old enough to know how to care for himself enough to survive and give him too much credit for being the professor’s kid.

Not only that but when we explore Area Zero with Arven, he’s surprised by all the research stations. Meaning, he never went in but he does offer that he was attacked somewhere between RS1/2. Because of the location it was at, for the games, I think he was attacked by either Sliver Wing or Sandy Shocks in Scarlet and Iron Moth or Thorns in Violet. However, given that Sandy Shocks is Electric/Ground, I’d say it was Slither Wings for Scarlet! As for violet, the options for that area between the research stations are highly limited so let me know down below which Paradox you think Arven faced the first time, because spoilers, its not the Donphans and its not the Scream Tail/Iron Bundle! He would’ve reacted to them if he had.

Mabosstiff gets hurt, hurt enough that no potions or Nurse Delphine’s can help it. I’d say blood could’ve been drawn, given that Mabosstiff can’t even stand when we first meet it. The Territorial Koraidon smells the blood. There’s an invader nearby. It goes on a rampage and tries to attack our passive Koraidon. Why? Proximity.

The territorial Koraidon, or Miraidon for Violet players, attacking our Raidon out of nowhere doesn’t make any sense. The professor notes that the second one is much more aggressive but this thing has been with the professor and the AI for years. How do I know this? The AI apologizes for Arven being alone for so long.

"Arven. I am sorry that I kept the truth from you for so long. I inherited all the thoughts and wishes of the professor, and so I understand better than any..."

"Your mother truly loved you."

The territory battle leaves Koraidon weakened as it escapes to crash onto the beach near Poco Path Lighthouse, the one safe haven it remembers outside of the crater. It passes that lighthouse when it suddenly collapses. Meaning, Koraidon was still injured from that incident.

And it is with the Professor’s death that the AI decides it’s time to shut down the machine, hurrying from RS4 to Zero Lab. Afterall, someone just died because of a Paradox Pokemon, a pokemon that is one of the many that have been coming out of the time machine. The AI panics and puts the lab into lockdown to prevent anymore Pokemon from escaping into the crater and ultimately into Paldea.

When trying to track our Koraidon and the territorial one, the professor finds the Pokeball in proximity to a student with a Rotom Phone that just moved to Paldea.

So, there you have it, Arven’s want for closure with his mommy/daddy issues were the reason they died, and I think it’s sad to say that the guy might've figured it out, which is why we don’t really see a reaction from him aside from calling out to the AI when they go into the time machine to their dream eras as well as how he kinda is surprised by everything to do with his family in the post-game.

In the Director’s Office, he says:

"So she really was always amazing...right from the start, huh?"

"All these pieces of my mom's life—they were right in front of me this whole time...I spent so long trying not to think about her that I never even noticed...until now."

And in the main hall/library:

"While I was here in the entrance hall, digging through my mom's research reports, I found this on one of the bookshelves. This book was so precious to my mom that she even kept a copy of it in the lighthouse lab... The Scarlet Book... That's what it's called, right?"

Arven was more focused on his anger, which was justified at the time. Now, it’s misplaced and he’s unsure. I think that’s sad but I won’t forgive Game Freak for such a tragic tale of a Professor who lost their love and buried into research…

Wait…I’ve heard this before…

PS: It was brought to my attention after writing the script that there’s no way this makes sense because there’s mold in the mattress and even crystals forming inside RS4. To that I counter with the mold. Mold spores take about 24-48 hours to actually lock in and be able to eat away at organic material, however, it’s never clarified what kind of mold it is. Some molds take YEARS to actually eat away at organic material. Others months.

As for the crystals in RS4, that makes sense because some material has been broken away. As we can see within the deeper caverns of Area Zero, crystals are ABUNDANT, and reflecting the wrong way, but they grow fast, even in Paldea. If you’re connecting to the internet, you can sometimes see Tera Raid crystals shrink down and respawn an entirely new crystal to give the player better variety. These things grow fast, and with the presence of Glimmora, it wouldn’t surprise me if those actually spawned like two minutes before the player walked in.

As for why the Zero Lab is covered in crystal, the professor actually notes the crystals can enhance both organic/inorganic materials, given it a cop out for why the AI is as sophisticated as it is, but also explaining how these crystals might be a major power source for the time machine.

Don’t forget, in RS1, a journal does state that the energy crystallization process we know as Terastylizing is a result of our mystery, possibly third legendary.

#pokemon theory #theory #arven #pokeblog #pokemon #professor turo #professor sada #sada #turo #scarlet violet #pokemon scarlet #pokemon violet

[vincent-sinclair-deserved-better]

A Little Bit Of Heaven, A Little Bit Of Hell

I wasn't able to write today because the day drained me and I am frustrated so I'll just split this in two parts I guess (I just want to show it to people asdffgasad)

Characters: Judah (by @bluecoolr), Esther (yet to be introduced? mayhaps?), other minor background characters

Words: 3023

Content warnings: religion/Christianity, religious guilt, bible quotes, it's been years since I was in church so I'm making stuff up as I go, mention of murder - if you need anything else tagged or specifically marked in the text, please let me know

dividers by firefly-graphics

Where my heart becomes free  And my shame is undone 

It was like paradise. 

Or that was what it felt like in comparison to Judah’s home anyway. Sure, most of the people living in Zak would disagree, they were too brainwashed to see what kind of hell they lived in, but he knew. He saw the darkness wherever he looked, the corruption seeping from every nook and cranny, staining everyone and everything. And he knew the source of it, lived with it, the whole house and family tainted by self-righteous lies and false promises. He’d had to get out. 

Carmel was different. People were kind and welcoming from the moment he arrived, there was no one watching his every move or monitoring his words. They weren’t suspicious simply due to him being an outsider. There was no constant underlying threat of severe punishment for making a mistake. And he was treated just like everyone else; he didn’t catch spiteful glances thrown his way, nor was he immune to consequences or exempt from rules. For the first time in years, he felt normal and like an equal member of the community. 

Also, people genuinely liked and respected the Reverend as opposed to being scared or seeming completely enraptured with him. They came to the services because they wanted to and didn’t get anxious if they missed one.

The town had communal gardens, a bakery, a butcher, all the usual things. It was pretty self-sustained and actual money was only rarely used. Mostly for things that had to be bought from out of town; there were a few people who worked in the city and did supply runs. Everyone helped everyone and did whatever work was needed, to the best of their abilities. 

Parents didn’t have to worry about their children getting a place in kindergarten or school since the town had everything. In the community centre, there was a specific area for children who needed to be watched past the time the school ended, and it included free food, activities, and help with homework or studying. Single parents didn’t have to worry about not finding someone to look after and take care of their kids because there was always someone willing to do it. Alternatively, the town had what could probably be most closely compared to boarding schools, where parents who were overwhelmed with childcare could send their children, along with being where orphans lived. Those schools also offered an option for teenage mums to stay and live with their children. 

Carmel also offered full support for people who wanted to move away for whatever reason, from kids wanting to attend college over single adults looking for a job and career to families who wanted a change of scenery. They were supported on every step of the way. No questions, no criticism, no judgement, no objections. 

Everything was perfect. 

So perfect it was outright blinding. 

But things don't always come that easy  And sometimes I would doubt 

He still wasn’t sure if he had actually not seen the signs or if he’d subconsciously ignored them, unwilling to let go of the ideal vision that he’d had in his mind. It was difficult to bring the image of the Reverend’s friendly, helpful brother David into accordance with the devious person Abigail had spent the last half hour describing to him. Still, he couldn’t sense any dishonesty in her voice, and her tearful expression seemed sincere. It pained him to see his usually cheerful and smiling neighbour like this. 

“Please,” she said, “I won’t ask your aid, all I need is for you to not tell on us. Not yet, at least.” 

Some strands of dark hair that had escaped her braid where clinging to her forehead and cheeks, her skin covered in a mix of sweat and tears. She looked tired and scared. Desperate. He was torn, unsure what was the right thing to do. All he had wanted to do was take out the trash and get ready for a lazy evening, lounging on the sofa and watching TV. He hadn’t expected to catch Abigail and Esther, a girl who helped with a lot of community events, climbing out of a window of the neighbouring house. Esther walked over to them, still holding Abigail’s new-born son. The boy had been fussy and crying, so she had taken him to calm him down. 

“They’ll send her to Saint Margaret’s,” she stated simply. The community home for single parents, teenage mums, and struggling families. A good place, build on kindness and compassion. Or so he had thought. 

Judah rubbed his temples, watching the boy who was now looking around the room, his chocolate brown eyes filled with curiosity and innocent wonder, “And you’re sure you can’t just- I mean, surely someone would believe and-” 

There had to be a solution. Something that didn’t involve him lying and going behind other community members’ backs. There had to. But then again, why would they lie? If what he had been taught before was true, why would anyone want to run away? If the people actually were as supportive and kind as he had thought up until now, why would a first-time mother go through the trouble of sneaking out of the hospital with her baby? 

Esther sighed and handed the boy back to his mother, before stepping in front of Judah, looking up at him, “Listen, I know this is a lot to take in, but we don’t have much time. At this point, someone must have noticed her disappearance. They’re probably looking for her already, and it won’t be difficult to figure out that she might want to stop by her former home.” 

“It’s just... it just seems so... harsh. Ostracising someone, sending them away or locking them up I could imagine, but outright murder? It’s against everything we believe in, isn’t it?” he said unsure, questioning, not even knowing whether he was trying to convince himself or not. 

“I can give you proof, okay? I can prove everything she said and more, just not now,” Esther replied and grabbed his hand, her eyes pleading, “Just go to sleep and act like nothing happened. Pray for forgiveness for all I care. This isn’t your... ‘fight’, for the lack of a better word. You don’t have to get involved, and the sooner we get out of here, the smaller the risk of being seen with us.” 

He sighed but nodded, “Alright. I’ll just... I’ll head upstairs, get ready for bed. You do what you must.” 

With that he turned and left before either of the women could say another word. When he reached his bedroom, he just sat down on his bed, not even bothering to turn on the light. He just stared into the darkness. This was the exact kind of stuff he had been running from. Secrecy and lies, fear and betrayal. Death. But it seemed like it was impossible; no matter how idyllic a place looked on the surface, corruption spread its tendrils everywhere, slipping through the smallest cracks in people’s faith and seeping into their hearts. 

And, contrary to everything he thought he had known, if what the women had said was true, things here were even worse than back home. 

Back home? 

This thought gave him pause, ripping him out of his contemplation. This was his home. It had been for almost a year now, and that’s what he had thought and felt about it as well. The town, the people, the house – this was his home. The community was his community, his family. 

He hadn’t thought of Zak as home in years. It’d been the place he lived, where he was stuck, trapped – his own personal hell. Zak had not been home. It wasn’t home. How could it be? It was led by a bunch of murderers. 

Just like Carmel, apparently. 

His heart clenched at the thought and his chest hurt. His head hurt too. It was too much, everything was too much, and for the first time since he was a child he went to sleep without proper prayer. All he could muster the energy to do were a few sentences mumbled under his breath, before he lied down and slipped under the blanket. He didn’t even change into his pyjamas. 

My life  I know it’s never really been mine   So do with it whatever You like   

Judah had expected there to be some kind of agitation or restlessness the next day, some consequence for what had happened last night – instead everything was as calm and peaceful as always. Nothing had changed. As he stood in the kitchen, waiting for the water to boil, he wondered if it had all just been a dream. Back in Zak someone would’ve already come knocking at the door, ready to take him in for questioning. Nothing escaped Darrell and “The Zakkaites” attention. But there was no knocking, no doorbell, no calls. 

Despite feeling exhausted, he did manage to get dressed and attend the 12 o’clock service, half expecting people to give him judgemental or knowing looks, but everyone just smiled at him. Kindness and trust.  

Proverbs 28:13 – Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy. 

He sat down next to the baker, a woman named Sarah, and tried to calm down. At this rate, people were bound to figure out that something is wrong, it was basically written in his face. As if on cue, Sarah nudged him, “Are you alright? You are looking pale.” 

“Yeah, I just didn’t sleep well,” he replied, which technically wasn’t a lie. 

Sarah nodded and squeezed his hand, “Maybe try and take a nap once you’re back home. You deserve some rest.” 

Luke 8:17 – For all that is secret will eventually be brought into the open, and everything that is concealed will be brought to light and made known to all.   

The service seemed to pass in the blink of an eye while also seeming to last forever. The Reverend had talked about guilt and regret and penance. About how everyone could be forgiven. Judah was ready to go and ask if the Reverend had a moment, that he needed to tell him something, but before he had the chance someone grabbed his arm. 

“You ready to talk?” Esther said, piercing blue eyes seemingly staring right into his soul. 

“Actually, I was going to-” he began, but she cut him off, “Great, let’s go then.” 

With that, she turned around and pulled him with her. He was to stunned to react at first, and didn’t want to draw attention to them either. 

“Esther, wait. We can’t just- I can’t just keep quiet about this. It’s wrong,” he said, managing to pull his arm from her grasp and stop. Esther turned to look at him, then their surroundings, and nodded towards an alley, “Can we at least not do this in the middle of the road?” 

He sighed, “Yeah, sure.” 

They went to the side of the road, just far enough to be out of immediate earshot while also remaining fairly inconspicuous. 

“So, what is it? Did all the talk about sin and forgiveness affect you, or were you planning to run off to the Reverend all along?” Esther said, an edge to her voice that almost felt hostile, but was really just bitterness. He felt sorry for her, wondering if her mind was perhaps being affected by guilt she wasn’t aware she was carrying. 

“I hadn't really made up my mind going in, I wasn’t sure whether all of last night’s... happenings were actually real or just a dream,” he said slowly, “But the Reverend did bring up some good points. Relatable points. Like, I think it was Psalms 32:3-4, ‘When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy on me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer.’ - don’t you feel that at all?” 

She scoffed, “No. And I strongly doubt David and the Reverend’s other brothers care much about confessing their own wrongdoings either.” 

“But it isn’t our place to judge,” Judah replied, “That’s up to the Lord.” 

“Isaiah 1:17 – ‘Learn to do right; seek justice, rescue the oppressed, defend the orphan, plead for the widow.’” Esther said, “Widows like Abigail. Orphans like the children whose mothers pass in that cursed birth house because if they aren’t deemed worthy, they only receive minimal care. They let people die there, Judah.” 

Psalm 120:2 – Save me, Lord, from lying lips and from deceitful thoughts.   

“I’m sorry, Esther, but that’s just really hard to believe,” he said, unable to meet her eyes. 

Some people had gathered in front of the café just a little down the road, watching their quiet but agitated discussion. Esther clenched her jaw and leaned closer, forcing him to look at her, “So let me speak. Tell you what I know, the other perspective. Just hear me out, or are you so unsure in your faith that you worry you could be this easily deceived? If what I say is untrue, don’t you think you’d be able to tell?” 

“If what you say is true it would only prove that I have been deceived already, so how could I trust my own judgement?” he replied, frowning at his insecurity. 

“Whatever. If you don’t want to listen, I can’t make. If you prefer to stay blissfully oblivious, be my guest. And if your ‘guilt’ is so much you insist on running off to the Reverend, sure. They’ll be grateful, and whatever will happen to me... well, I have no regrets. I only do what I deem to be right and just. And if I could go back in time, I’d do it all over again,” Esther stepped away from him and straightened her posture, putting on a neutral expression, “Just one more thing for you to consider: Proverbs 11:13 – ‘A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret’. Make of that what you will.”   

Everything I once held dear  I count it all as lost 

Hearing his brother’s words come from Esther’s mouth was like a punch to the gut, and he kept staring at the space she had stood even after she had left. He felt sick. How could it be that the past he had so desperately tried to escape from and forget was catching up to him now? Did Esther know Darrell, or was it just chance? He didn’t know what to believe anymore, his thoughts and feelings in complete disarray, and he prayed for some kind of sign that would show him the right way. 

The touch of a hand on his shoulder snapped him out of his thoughts and his gaze met Sarah’s worried expression, “Judah, dear, are you alright? You really aren’t looking well.” 

He just stared at her for a moment and opened his mouth to speak, but no words came. 

Sarah gently took his arm and lead him across the street, towards the café, “Come, take a seat and have a glass of water. Take a moment to calm down, you seem troubled.” 

“I- yeah, that’s probably a good idea,” he replied, voice raspy and almost inaudible. 

They found a table right by the window, and the small crowd that had formed dispersed on Sarah and Judah’s arrival. He still felt eyes on him, people watching while walking out. He told himself they were just concerned for his well-being, but it didn’t feel quite right. 

It didn’t even take five minutes for a glass of water to be brought while Sarah sat across from him, holding his hand and keeping a watchful eye on him. It was only when he picked up the glass to take a sip that he realised he was shaking, but thankfully Sarah didn’t comment. He didn’t feel like talking about his past. He didn’t even want to think about it. 

“You really shouldn’t spend too much time with Esther,” Sarah said, gentle voice having a surprisingly serious edge to it. 

He met her gaze, brows furrowed in confusion, “Why not?” 

“She’s a bad influence. Hiding it well, though,” the older woman replied, “Her parents have been trying to rein her in for years now, but despite acting all nice and proper on the surface, people know she’s secretly up to no good.” 

“But... isn’t she one of the main people planning the gardens? And doing a lot of tutoring in the community centre?” 

Sarah sighed, “As I said, she is hiding it well. Just, be careful. Don’t blindly believe what she says, and be prepared for her trying to use her past as a means to gain you sympathy.” 

The way Sarah was talking about and describing Esther was so different from what he had seen and her tone rubbed him the wrong way. Despite trying to keep her voice concerned and caring, there was clear judgement. Especially the last part of her sentence sounded almost deprecating. “Her past? What about it?” 

“Her older siblings died in a car accident when she was fourteen, she didn’t take it well and started acting up afterwards, running away and doubting the Lord. It got better – or at least more subdued – once she turned eighteen,” she explained, turning to wistfully look out of the window, “She used to be such a good girl, you know? Well behaved, polite, gentle, earnest. Then her sister started getting into her head, telling the poor child Lord-knows-what. The accident was the last straw, and no matter how well she pretends to have returned to that innocent and pious girl she used to be... it is hard to believe. People don’t just change overnight. There’s still something wrong with her, that I am certain of.” 

Judah’s stomach twisted, every single word making the feeling stronger, and by the time Sarah had finished speaking, he was feeling nauseated. No matter how hard the older woman had tried to obscure her acrimony towards Esther, attempting to cover it behind pretend compassion and melancholy, it had seeped through, her words dripping resentment. In all the time he had been here, he had never seen anyone express such negativity. Maybe it was a slip-up on Sarah’s part, or maybe he hadn’t paid attention. Either way, he wanted to get out and have some space to think. 

tag? tag: @probably-a-plant-thing @solmints-messyocdiary @visceravalentines @goldrose-star @rottent33th @immortal-velociraptor @myers-meadow @ace-of-hearts-and-spades

remember, remember, the fifth of November to tell me if you don't want to be tagged, I know all the AU and OC stuff isn't for everyone, not everyone cares about all OCs etc. I won't be offended, promise <3

#cylas writes #judah todd #blues ocs #i literally looked up biblical/christian town names #esther burr

[wolfsbanesparks]

I really, really love your fanfic Split. You tackle the concept of identity quite well, and it really feels authentic to the spirit of Billy Batson and Captain Marvel. You capture each character's voice so well that it is seamless when read; I could hear and visualize each character speaking or doing an action.

I wonder how you realistically portray the internal and external conflicts regarding their gender, autonomy, and bond.

Did you draw it from your own life, research, or people you know? It is quite a personal question you do not have to answer; I was just curious. I would also like to ask what would be the best way to portray that relationship accurately—as you do—so the process feels more like representation and not appropriation. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Oh wow, thank you so much! This honestly made my day!💜💜💜

I'll try my best to answer your questions and give some tips. But some things are just hard to put into words you know?

Under the cut because it got pretty long.

I would say that I don't often base things purely on my own experiences, but my life, the stories I've heard or read, the people I've met, all inform how I write and what I write.

So I am Agender and I was assigned female at birth. I'm also aromantic and asexual, so I have spent a lot of time in queer spaces both online and irl. Which means ive had a lot of opportunities to talk to and learn from people with different experiences with gender and sexuality than my own. My journey of self discovery was honestly pretty easy with very little gender dysphoria and a lot of acceptance from people around me.

When I wrote Captain Marvel having very little connection to gender with no real preference for pronouns, just sort of accepting people's assumptions of his gender based on his looks, that's me. My connection to gender is extremely loose, basically nonexistent, but i dont really care if people know that or not. It's not the most common experience but it is my experience. And I thought it would make sense to apply that to my version of Captain Marvel because he has had many different forms, but his expression depended on his hosts and their ideas of gender.

When I'm writing about Billy’s struggles with gender, I often take my own experiences of being AFAB mixed with things I've learned from the trans masc community. I'm not trans masc myself, but there are certain parts that resonate with me that I include. Honestly I'm often nervous when posting chapters that focus heavily on that because, like you, I want to be both accurate and respectful. But so far the responses I've gotten are overwhelmingly positive.

And my thoughts on Billy and Captain Marvel’s relationship has evolved since I first started writing them. They know each other completely and they wouldn’t be who they are now without the other’s influence. The character of Captain Marvel is incomplete with Billy Batson and vice versa. Portraying that in a fic has been one of the major challenges of writing Split but is also the main reason the fic exists in the first place.

Drawing on older golden age comics, Billy and Captain Marvel are basically the ultimate tag team and each other’s biggest supporters. But they had distinct differences and on rare occasions got into arguments about how to live as one person.

When I write them, I try to highlight that Captain Marvel is more mature with a lot more lived experience that he draws on. But that doesn’t mean Billy is immature. Far from it. But he is a kid who doesn't really trust most adults and that leads to him making certain decisions that are more reckless.

In Split they are trying very hard to keep up appearances, but despite their combined experience neither really knows what would be considered normal. There's a certain amount of being out of touch or misinformed that makes their characters more endearing to me.

If you want to write them yourself (and I would always encourage people to go for it!) I suggest deciding early on what parts of Billy cross over to Cap. Figures of speech (ex: holy moley!), body language (do they both put their hands on their hips when confident or rub the back of their neck when embarrassed?), morality (what lines can and can't be crossed), and certain likes and dislikes would be a good start. From there decide what's unique to each of them. For example I often have Cap be more skilled at/knowledgable of magic even if Billy also studies magic, but is also pretty shy around other people. Billy on the other hand is more likely to curse and question authority but is also better at talking to people and connecting with them.

As a final note of advice, if you want to write about identities or experiences that you don't have: read about and talk to people who do. Whether it's fiction, blog posts, biographies, academic papers--all can help you get a more well rounded idea of what it's like and how you respectfully portray it. If you're still unsure, look for a sensitivity reader who can look over your work and help you make your story the respectful and realistic portrayal you want it to be. I'd even be willing to do that for you for things I felt qualified for. I know it's hard to take that leap sometimes but I promise it's worth it!

Whew! That was long and maybe a little rambling but I hoped it answered your questions!

#fanfic asks #my writing #Billy Batson #shazam #dc captain marvel #ask me whatever you want y'all #lots of rambling that i hope makes sense

[not-poignant]

hearing you do research into singaporean culture for m&m makes me so excited! i have heritage there and almost never see southeast asia represented in things i read/watch

Hi anon!

I've been to Singapore! It's a beautiful country, and one of the best places to celebrate Lunar New Year :D I don't know if I'll ever be able to travel like that again with Covid, but if I can, Singapore is actually really high on the list of places we have to get back to soon.

Perth, Western Australia is actually closer to Bali, Indonesia than it is to Sydney, Australia (and it's about the same distance to Singapore as it is to Sydney), and as a result, we actually have a huge proportion of SE Asian folk who live here, and a lot of SE cuisine and culture we can access that folks have brought over with them. So the foods that Kadek mentions in Falling Falling Stars are all foods I'm familiar with. Likewise, it's very common for many Perth folk to fly to Bali and nearby regions for holidays and work, because it's a closer flight than, well, other places in our own country. I have a friend who's working in Singapore right now, and I'm not sure if he's coming back! He loves it too much. (Though not the driving, so much dsalkjfsa).

Due to a combination of having some great friends who have SE Asian heritage and being able to share dinner with their families and hobbies and stay over as a kid etc, and just finding other places and foods interesting, and enjoying learning new things, it's been fun to include more of that in my writing in ways that are hopefully respectful. It also just feels natural in the sense that... for me, in my part of the world, we have more to do with say, Southeast Asia than we do many other cultures, and it's annoying that when people represent, god, 'eastern cultures' in fantasy, it's always like... idk, samey, if it's done by white authors. I'm hoping to avoid that, and not do it terribly. I'm definitely more focusing on Indonesia, and then aspects of Singapore as well, including how cosmopolitan and multicultural it is, while still having a strong sense of identity and place.

Fun fact, I share a timezone with Singapore, but I don't share a timezone with any other state in Australia.

Australia is big and weird.

#asks and answers #mallory and mount #mandm #it's scary because i don't want to do a horribly disrespectful job #which is where all the research comes in #the next stage of research will actually be different types of architecture #but yeah just... #also for selfish reasons i guess i want mandm to have a culture that is strongly influenced in this way #because that was my life growing up #and so there's a familiarity in being able to walk down a street #and having access to kopitiam like kopi-bing and chilli crab and chicken rice #or seeing different family systems and customs and rituals side by side and learning that #everyone has their own way of doing things #it's nice writing characters being exposed to that #*flails quietly* #anon i'm sorry your heritage isn't represented more!! #that blows on every level

[witchthewriter]

Thank you for doing ships! I've always wanted to have one done for me, so I'm truly greatful for the opportunity.

Level: Four (if you have the time and energy to do three ships that would be fantastic, but if not don't worry about it)

Basic things: I'm 5'1. I use she/they pronouns. I'm bisexual. I'm a capricorn sun, pisces moon, and cancer rising. Last but not least I am an INTP. Last minute addition I am Ravenclaw.

My three randoms are: Peaky Blinders, Stranger Things, and The Umbrella Academy.

In depth info:

I can be described as independent, stubborn, intelligent, eccentric, and cold–hearted (as I have been given the nickname Ice Queen).

I get anxious and stressed pretty easily but I hide it well and try to move on if it's not too severe. I am very family oriented even if they get on my nerves. I find it very funny because I am one of my parents youngest kids, but have lived as the oldest in the house, and I'm the middle child of the youngest three. Essentially I have oldest, middle, and youngest child vibes.

I mimic others easily especially if I'm around them for a while. I have a fantastic sense of humor and am in love with puns and dad jokes.

My taste in everything is very all over the place. I like all music and will watch or read almost anything you put in front of me. I love to sing, read, play piano, learn, watch crime shows, and write.

I tend to be very quiet until I have known the people I'm around for a bit then I don't know when to stop.

I love animals and most often get along well with them. Pitbulls are my favorite dog breed and I will absolutely die on that hill.

I dress how I want when I want. For example one day I'll be in a very pretty dress and look fabulous then the next I'll be a disco girl and after that I'll look like the handsomest little guy there is.

I have a very keen sense for observation and try to be three steps ahead. I love to be prepared as it makes me nervous when I am not. I tend to predict how things will turn out and am very good at sniffing out who likes who (including myself).

I did a bit of a ramble, but I know the more information the better. So I really appreciate you reading my ramble and all. Thank you!

Want to be shipped? Here be the instructions 🦋

Hello, my darling! You sound like such a lovely person <3

What each ship has in common: ⋆ Headstrong ⋆ Independent ⋆ Notable  ⋆ ‘Man in charge’ ⋆ Admirable

𝐏𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐲 𝐁𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬

𝐷𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

I ship you with Thomas Shelby. I think he would connect with your traits such as your keen observational sense, intelligence and the fact that your nicknamed the Ice Queen. By this I mean he isn’t one to show emotions, and I think he would go well with someone who can overcome their stress/anxiety to focus on the task at hand!

𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠

・I think you would meet because he needed something (from your family shop, the place you work etc.) 

・He has a keen observation as well, and is able to sniff out people who have useful aspects. I definitely think he would see this in you, and therefore want your intelligence and knowledge to help with the business

・Sitting at his desk when he gets back late, you doing some of the paperwork. He’ll just lean against the doorway, light up a cigarette and smirk at you

・Calling each other by your last names

・Having the respect of his brothers

・Getting to know Polly and actually really liking each other

・Having insightful discussions with Ada about politics, literaure and just ... life

・He would always make sure you’re safe. Once you have the Shelby name than you will be protected even by title. No one would fck with you. Like ever. 

𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑓𝑎𝑣𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑖��𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢

Your ability to see more than others around you do. You’re able to acclimatize into groups and situations, which he finds impressive. Also, the fact that you like to be prepared. He doesn’t like spontaneity, or rather, he doesn’t appreciate it. 

𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑

I think Ada would be your best friend. She would love having you in the family, more girls to outweigh the guys. She loves your intelligence and likes to pick your brain. You would have such great conversation!

𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬

𝐷𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

I SHIP YOU WITH EDDIE MCBEAUTIFULFACE MUNSON <3 <3 <3 THE MAN OF EVERYONE’S DREAMS. THE METAL HEAD THAT CHANGED A UNIV- okay sorry I’m going too far. But honestly this man right here, this one, yeah he’s amazing. Enthusiastic, charming, kind-hearted!!!!!!!! His heart <3 is SO SOFT, He loves loves loves to make people feel comfortable. Literally you would suit each other so well!

𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠

・BRAIDING HIS HAIR, if you don’t know how to braid then just playing with it. He will literally moan at how nice your fingers feel on his scalp. 

・He would follow you around like a lost puppy unless he’s focusing on DnD, then his whole concentration would be on that. I think he would love your input too

・Singing along to both of your favourite songs, like full air guitar, jumping around, making so much noise!!!! It would be such a blast!!!!

・Dustin would absolutely love you, anyone that Eddie adores, Dustin would too

・Sitting in between in his legs reading while he watches a movie or reading to him. He would absolutely adore your voice

・Kissing each other’s knuckles

・Having so many inside jokes

・Uncle Wayne thinks you’re such a good influence on Eddie and he has hope for his nephew’s future 

𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑓𝑎𝑣𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢

Your smile. Your brain. He just loves the way you work. He finds you so interesting. Like he’s so stumped that someone like you would ever want someone like him. I definitely think Eddie is a tad insecure and hides it with his loud personality.

𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑

I think you would have such a fun time having Robin as your best friend. I was going to say Nancy, but I think with friendships, you deserve someone who is out of the box, who has great enthusiasm and can make you feel at ease. 

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐔𝐦𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝐀𝐜𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐲

𝐷𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

I ship you with Diego! I think he would absolutely suit you so fricken well. You would bond over being so hypervigilant and feel at ease around each other. There’s a hidden piece that Diego realises you fill inside of him. 

𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠

・You guys would definitely start off as enemies. Like even if you’re just an ordinary person working at a cash register, he would come in and be like “oh ... it’s you...” 

   And you’d just roll your eyes. 

・It would evolve because somehow he either needed your help or you were thrown into some sort of apocopyptic catastrophe and needed to be rescued. And Diego came as your knight in shining armour. 

・I can see there being such witty banter, like the sarcastic comments never stop once you get together

・Learning about Diego’s past and feeling really upset about it. You hate it when people having a horrible upbringing and to see someone who is still carrying that weight of that ... it breaks your heart

・He would be such a good cuddler - like imagine him wrapping his arms around you, holding you tight against your chest

・SO PROTECTIVE, YOU ARE HIS BABY AND HE WILL DIE FOR YOU.

・Hand holding <3 he doesn’t want to at first and tries to deny all the lovey dovey stuff but you don’t take it personally. But he is just teasing and as soon as you start to walk away, he’ll grab you and pull you back

𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑓𝑎𝑣𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢

That you’re stable within his life. He didn’t grow up with love, he didn’t grow up with a proper family. There was so much consistency around traumatic behaviour from his father that having a loving partner, who is stable - is such a change. Diego absolutely loves that he can count on you. 

𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑

I honestly think you and Viktor would get along so well. He would understand your sensitive side (especially that pisces moon and cancer rising!!!) I can definitely see Viktor having pisces and/or cancer in their big 3. 

You would bring a lot of love to the Hargreeves family as a whole. And they all cherish your friendship!

#ships #ship game #let me ship you #still open

[lilac-5ky]

I just read your latest Takasugi headcanon/drabble/idk what to call it and now I am curious

What IS in his shopping list👁️👄👁️

Like it got to my head and now I NEED TO KNOW

Lmao anyways u can share your headcanons on it if you actually have any specific thoughts. I'd just like to know lol

Somehow, I knew I had it coming 😂But, as always, I'm going to be serious about it and I'll give it some proper thinking!

Let me start by saying that Takasugi doesn't just go shopping whenever he pleases. For starters, he is a terrorist and a wanted man, he can't just walk in Edo Mart and be like yo, what aisle for brussels sprouts? And even if he wasn't can you imagine Takasugi just strolling through the supermarket, comparing prices and reading the additives of each product? 😂 Not gonna lie, I pity the employees, he'd just give them THE STARE. What do you mean you have no yakult? 👀 Don't get me wrong, he'd be a very respectful customer, wouldn't cause any trouble. Unless he ran into Gintoki, then he might as well bury his face in the first shelf he finds. But anyways, anyways, let's not get off topic here!

Takasugi would rarely shop by himself and most of the time, Matako or someone else would personally handle his shopping list. But on the rare occasion he goes shopping, then this is what I would imagine his list to be!

Warning: SOME OF IT MAKES ZERO SENSE OKAY but I'm getting a vibe for it, I promise

his look when they are out of his beloved beverage :)))))))

Sugi's Shopping List

Yakult

it's his priority, he loves it, come on!

Yoghurt

considering how he likes yakult so much, I can see him getting behind yoghurt honestly. Even having a bit of a childish eating habit and picking those flavored small yoghurts that are meant for kids. I don't think he'd openly admit to it that's why it's something he'd purchase when going shopping on his own.

String Cheese

another childish habit I can see him having. string cheese is something he can eat on the run and basically, many of the foods I'm going to include are ones you can eat on the go. basically snacks that don't need to be prepared and can be consumed as they are.

Tofu

even if he might indulge himself in certain western delicacies, at his core, Takasugi is a traditional man. rather than actual cheese, he'd opt for tofu.

Eggs

eggs are just... eggs, you know? so many dishes include them, so yeah.

Tea leaves

but you know, not the cheap Lipton ones. he has high standards after all! rather than coffee, I see him more as a tea kinda guy buuuut

Coffee Beans

he would like to have some coffee around and I feel like he'd be good at brewing it himself, just like his tea. i can see him and bansai sitting together while drinking either, honestly.

Water

he is a human, humans drink water, what can I say? plus, i doubt he can find high quality water lying in space.

Fruits and Vegetables

now this is the harder for me to think, because i can't really tell what kind of fruits or veggies he'd prefer. i feel like he is into healthy food, considering how yakult is basically probiotics and if he could afford to have a proper meal, he'd go for it. i can see him being into berries (NOT STRAWBERRIES BECAUSE GIN which actually arent berries at all but eh), grapes, lychees, persimmons, dates, plums or perhaps the occasional apple too. i'm afraid i can't offer an exact explanation as to why i chose these specific ones but eh, it be like this sometimes. about veggies now, lotus roots, edamame, yams, cabbage, daikon, seaweed (not really a veggie but dk what to consider it here ;-;), mushrooms and beets. i wanna say eggplants too because they are purple and well... heh.

i guess something these things have in common are that they can be either eaten individually, or are widely used in japanese cuisine.

Nuts

YEAH YEAH, I CAN HEAR THE SNICKERS FROM HERE ABOUT THIS ONE. still, nuts are a great source of NUTrients. also for some reason, i can see Takasugi liking something that requires a bit of work? now this will sound weird af but i can totally imagine him spitting the shells (or seeds since i mentioned fruits) at gintoki or people who annoy him (throwback sakamoto spit translate scene). i dont know, maybe it's because he smokes, maybe it's because he uses his fingers a lot WHEN PLAYING THE SHAMISEN, DON'T GET ME WRONG, i can see him liking foods that need some work. that's what i meant. yeah? yeah.

Sweets?

i don't see him as a sweet kinda guy, not gonna lie. but, perhaps he would indulge in an occasional chocolate candy bar. perhaps a darker chocolate? if he got a craving, i'd still think he'd opt for more traditional stuff so, perhaps dorayaki or mochi would catch his eye, if the store had some premade ones.

Miso paste

absolute MUST for breakfast.

Rice

Gum?

this one is debatable. he is a smoker, he has shitty breath, gum is easy to pop in for some freshness i guess. if he needed to have a clean breath, this is the lazy way to do it.

Soy sauce

the answer to the eternal debate of ketchup vs mayo would be soy sauce for him. this is the way of the ancestors, somehow.

Noodles

another no brainer. if you ask me, he is more of a soba kinda guy though.

Meat/Fish

usually he doesn't buy such things himself. he isn't the one to cook his own meals so... plus, meat and fish take a long of time to prepare. i think of him more as a fish kinda guy, not sure why though. if he can get his hands on some fresh fish, he'll go for it.

OH AND, not exactly fish but, Mentaiko!

Onigiri

Takasugi is a bit of a sentimental fool, no denying here. onigiri is a food linked to his childhood and to Katsura. he would eat such things behind everyone's back and if anyone noticed and asked him if he wanted some, he'd deny it, claiming that he hated the taste of him. still, i feel like it's a food he'd buy without second thought, if he happened to find it in the store.

Jelly Beans

another troll-y food choice. they are tasty and can be eaten on the go. i can see him being very picky about the order he eats them in, going as far as to not eat a certain type of flavor at all!

Alcohol

man needs to drown his pain somehow. Sake, Umeshu, Nigori, Shochu, i can see him drinking each of them. usually with Bansai, he is his certified drinking buddy. sometimes Matako and Takechi join too but they get wasted! Matako gets all flustered, attaching herself to him "Shinsuke sam~AaaaaaAAAa", she is just a mess. Takechi's lolicon comments intensify and he might honestly try to annoy Matako who just gets defensive and cries harder while wiping her nose on Takasugi's sleeve... yeah....no, it's better if he just drinks with Bansai on second thought.

Hygiene Products

i feel like Takasugi is very hygienic when he can afford to be. he is someone who obviously puts thought in his appearance and so i can see shampoo and shower gels being up high in his list. funnily enough, i can see him as someone who could potentially get behind bath bombs! they are relaxing, have a certain aesthetic and hey, BUBBLES! but mainly, i feel like he is a soap bar kinda type. he prefers clean scents without bells and whistles. perhaps something that has a bit of a flowery scent? basically relaxing stuff. definitely an ylang ylang or sandalwood kinda guy (damn i'm reading too much into it). also toothbrush, toothpaste, the usual stuff. floss too. gotta wash the tobacco away.

oh and of course, he is clueless about detergents. he doesn't handle that at all, Matako takes care of his laundry somehow. he frowned upon her about it in the start, but she's managed to find a smell he likes so they are good.

Tobacco

wasn't sure if i should add that because not all regular stores have that but yeah, he needs it for his kiseru!

MAN, I spent so much time thinking about this. Not in a million years would I ever think that I'd be writing Takasugi Shinsuke's personal shopping list. But there is always a first, I guess! These are just my opinions/headcanons/guts, call them whatever you want, really. Some of these have a base I guess while others are just hunches.

Hope this wasn't too out of character, hey, I DID MY BEST! I loved this ask though, it was so particular and different from what I usually do or think about.

#takasugi shinsuke #takasugi's shopping list #takasugi gintama #gintama

[lunamadrigal]

Benji questions

If Benji is adopted how come you mentioned he has family?

Can you explain his gift better? Aren't pumas brown or beige?

Our Benjito puma boy woop woop meow meow

Spoilers for the story so heads up. Also I'll say that quite a few questions are answered in Benji's stand alone story, Into The Wild. It's a short spin-off and I recommend reading that to get a better feel for his character overall. He's got layersssssss!

Trigger warning for death and fire.

🐈‍⬛ Where is Benji originally from? Luna's group are from Barichara and so is Benji. His families cabin was located in the outskirts of town, fairly isolated and surrounded by jungle.

🐈‍⬛ Is Benji adopted? His backstory is a painful one. Benji was thought to be the sole survivor of a soldier attack on his family's home after they set fire to it. Luna found him at the age of 8 in his burnt down cabin as a shifted cub, where he survived for multiple weeks alone in the wilderness after waking up with his gift. He was taken in by Luna and raised within their group but really with his independent personality he tended to be more of an adult, taking on big responsibilities and carrying a heavy weight he put on himself. Luna's group survived outside of Encanto for a decade so by the time Benji arrived in Encanto he was much older very respected as an equal adult and high ranked among their groups guards. His gift is a result of his parents ultimate sacrifice (think Pedro). So although it is later found out that his brother also survived the solider attack, by then he has fully accepted his place in Luna and Bruno's patchwork family. Bruno officially adopted him (and Mateo), giving them his last name Madrigal. Benji's full name after which is Benji Agresto Madrigal (Agresto meaning Wild and is his original last name that they included after adoption).

🐈‍⬛ What's Benji's gift? He always loved the jungle as a kid so I like to think that part of the reason he was given the ability to shift into a puma was cause of that (he's always been stealthy) but also to survive the world alone from the aftermath that he woke up to. If we were to pick apart science, I suppose he's a genetic abnormality but that's no fun haha Luna calls him her soot covered cub and I prefer that. He emerged from that wreckage "stained" in many ways. Similar to Camilo, Benji can shift into his puma at whim. He isn't able to speak to animals but has advanced hearing, smell and stealth/strength even while a human. Only Antonio can understand him when he's a puma (and of course Benji still understands people regardless, just not animals). Also just an author's note but #1 I didn't want to write panther repeatedly throughout 60+ chapter (LOL I'm lazy like that) and also I didn't want readers to connect Benji to Bagheera from the Jungle Book. I wanted him to have his own character/personality, free from an immediate association.

🐈‍⬛ Fun lil titbits:

Benji only purrs for Diego (their unique bond is shown throughout Into The Wild)

The tip of his ear is missing from a sword narrowly missing him (it's always covered by his hair and only seen when he's in puma form)

Benji's biological father was a talented musician so although Benji can't remember much from his childhood it's likely where he got his love for music, guitar playing and song writing

He's become a bit of a lie detector when in puma form, using his advanced senses to read people

If he's throwing a tantrum he tends to shift into his puma (imagining Bruno having to drag this giant kitty out the house gives me so much joy)

While Luna's group made the trek to Encanto Benji rarely shifted back from his puma, opting to stay in it to protect them, keep them warm at night and be on guard

His secret weapon that wins anyone over are his 'precious kitty eyes' (big saucer eyes that stare deep into your soul and destroy you)

Bits of the jungle can always be found somewhere on the boy, in his hair, stuck on his clothes, etc..

🐈‍⬛ Bruno commissioned his own patchwork family mural in town and this mini bonus chapter from Benji's POV will always break me:

Benji's POV

I thought I misheard Luna. But no. The second she stood up the truth was staring me in the face. Something had happened to Bruno. Her hands clutched her stomach.

NO. Hell no. Every emotion I felt bubbled up to the surface. My gift wanted to claw its way out of me, making my skin burn. Fight or flight kicked in.. Or maybe both? He needed me. I should have been there.

The wind stung my face, drying my tears as I pushed myself faster towards the river. No. Just no. I will never be too weak to protect my family again.

My feet hit the water with only one direction in sight. His.

"Stop!!", Isabela's voice screamed at me as her vines twisted around my limbs. How dare she... I thrashed my body, putting all my weight into it. I'm faster than this, better than this. I have to be. For him.

I was caught in her spiderweb, throwing everything I had at it. Shifting into my puma I screamed out, rippling the water beneath me.

"Shift Benji." Did she just command me? I scowled at her but she didn't blink. Great, I've created a monster, one that doesn't fear my beast. She saw right through my facade. I shifted as she let her vines go. Pretty sure she was going to slap me for trying to run. But she pulled me into a hug.

"Don't go. Please. We need you.", her words stung more than the wind that had whipped my face. Doesn't she get it? HE needs me. She could never understand... She's always had a father and I can barely remember mine from before.. My eyes burned, thinking back to the night Bruno had left. He had snuck into my room and accidentally woke me. I know he thought I had fallen back asleep but I heard him whisper it to me. 'I love you.'

I love you. Fate must hate me if it takes another father from me.

"It's okay to be angry.", she pushed my wet hair from my face. "But don't be mad at yourself." There was nobody else to be mad at though.

"Isa... I...." What could I even say to that. "He's mine.. my pá..." The truth.

"And nothing changes that. Okay?" Her reasoning might have made sense but it didn't help how I felt.

"Please come back...", she tugged on my hand. Both our feet were wet as we stood in the cool water.

I let her pull me back through town, too tired to care to look where I was going. But I knew this spot, where the smell of paint still filled the air. Our mural was coming up on this street. I ripped my hand from hers and turned down the road where it sat.

Shifting into my puma, I stared up at it. At least pumas can't cry, I joked to myself but it was true. I've looked at this portrait countless times, every night when I came back from the river. It's the only thing to comfort me from feeling so helpless. He wanted us to know that we'd always be a family. His familia.

"He made sure I added your puma.." José was next to me, pointing at the mark on my arm in the mural. "He said it was important to him. I guess I finally get to meet his 'wild boy' in the flesh." José smiled at me, probably thinking that he was helping but that only made me miss him more.

"Do you wanna sit for a bit longer Beno?", Isa ran her hand down the fur of my back.

I guess she realized my silence was answer enough. I wasn't ready to shift back and let her see me like this.

"I'll just be around the corner at José's for a few minutes." I looked at her.

"Please, don't go. Okay?" Sure whatever, I sighed and let a rumble slip through my chest.

Looking back at the mural, I played my favorite game with it. I'd count all the things I loved about it, hoping I'd discover something new every time. If I was lucky, I'd find one. Tiny hidden messages were riddled within it.

The most obvious one but one I could never look away from... His hand rested on my shoulder as I stood in front of him. In the other mural, with all the Madrigals, none of them were touching each other. Mostly displaying their gifts. But ours was different. We each had a hand on one another in some way, forming a symbolic circle. Our mural displayed our connection.

Luna stood next to Bruno, with Teo in front of her. Mateo's hand held onto a piece of fabric from the ruana I wore. A similar color to Bruno's but in a different pattern, with hints of purple from Luna's dress and cream from Mateo's shirt. My ruana had all the colors represented. On Mateo's shirt we were shown through embroidery. It reminded me of Diego's ruana, with the stitching from each symbol. Would he add Diego when he came back? What if he didn't make it back? Of course we'd add Diego. My mind raced.

I sighed, getting up to leave, when I saw it. Something new... Among the colors of the background, a few pieces of paper with sheet music were speckled throughout as if a gust of wind had caught them. I noticed it before but not this. I got as close to the painting as possible and saw the words on one of the papers.

'Beno,

You heard me,

I love you.

Always.'

He knew I had heard him.

I love you pá, I choked.

-----------

The purdy puma boy by @ramwdraws

More Benji art here

#there's so much more to be said but alas this is long enough #go read into the wild guys #benji encanto oc #encanto fic #encanto oc #luna asks! #la luna encanto story

[xoteajays]

You already know that I like Ice and Jesse. I wish just some, not all, of them had more backstory. At least for the characters I like anyway.

Even though I don't like children, I did like that Pho protected the kids from people who would harm them. Especially since they are not that able to protect themselves, especially towards the creepy adults too. And I'm happy he did kill those men. Even if he got sent to prison just because of that. Which is really a shame for his character though.

I know Diddy is Ice's brother. But you never see or hear much about a character like that, so I don't care about him. Dixie's his girlfriend too.

Same with 9. And obviously Bernie's character was ruined to be since the actor was in way too many sex scandals. I did so like his character before I knew about his drama. He's completely ruined for me now.

Sarah's character could have potential if they written her better in any other way... But they didn't. And I could have respected her becoming a strong woman who protected herself from abusive men. But during the scenes you see her fighting, she only goes after the men won't hit women - like Rascals, Sannoh and most of the other SWORD gangs. And then you'd also see piles of men at her feet in the club owned by the Mighty Warriors. So what? Men come up to possibly flirt with the woman, so she just hits them instead of saying she's not interested.

And for Pearl. I think the reason why I like Sway's character is more in the music videos rather than the show and movies. Because I feel like that his character does have more backstory in the music videos, way in comparison than the show and movies. In my opinion. Which really is why I would want to flesh is character out in the stories if I am even able to. Same with Ice and Jesse. If that makes any sense to anyone.

Exactly! Rocky and Ranmaru were always natural enemies since both men have been around, Ranmaru is part of the reason why Rocky just had to form White Rascals. To protect women from abusive people.

And Hyuga and Ranmaru did know each other in prison based on any comments mentioned between them. But now Hyuga betrayed him... So if Hyuga is romantically involved with a woman, or friends with the women. Whatever the relationship. Ranmaru would harm them in any retaliation at him. Ranmaru's retaliating against Rocky and Hyuga.

But not only does Ranamru harm women in any way he sees fit which includes rape. Based on the context of the show and even movies for some extent, they would just kidnap women to force them into either the blackmarket to be sold as slaves or would be forced as sex slaves. Like Miho for example. They never said how she had to repay debts in that situation. But some women were used as sex slaves for Doubt.

I don't know if I would ever write for the High&Low Worst fandom just because I'm more focused on the original cast, not that I don't love all the new characters. At least most of the newer characters anyway.

Actually.. I've always thought Fujio could have passed on being a very younger sibling to Hiroto. But that could be because of the hairstyles.

But, as a Leo, Tsukasa does give me even more Lion's Pride than ever before. I just love when characters have leonine mannerisms like that.

So I'm sending pictures. I don't know if I would use her as a face claim for High&Low.. Possibly for a different fandom. I'm considering it way too much. So I'll just showing you, just to show you her appearances.

~

Besides sexually. Because Hyuga would do that either way, even if he wasn't trying to apologize. Since he would always want sex anyway.

But he'll apologize without apologizing. So, like Rocky, he would even try acts of service as his way of showing his appreciation to someone. He's not a verbal person. Unless those verbal comments would be the mean and even insulting way of speaking to someone, but in a playful way. Like how he's playfully mean to the other SWORD gangs.. Like in the scenes where the alliances were formed. He had playful banter to Cobra in the first movie when they fought someone, he had a playful banter with Rocky about Ranmaru in the second movie. So he can be playfully mean too. He might be playfully mean depending on moods.

So.. Some sites list his height as 5'5 (165 cm), but then other sites list his height as 5'7 (170 cm). I don't know which height is accurate then. I'll try paying attention to their heights for you when they're together..

~

All I know about exercising is that it would make you feel better which would make you more physically, mentally and emotionally healthier..

But I don't understand why you would hit someone in the stomach, in a deliberately intention way, just to strength someone's muscles?

Even if, "That's weakness leaving your body." That's so unusual to me.

But considering the boys, the actors, only diet during them filming in this show was chicken and brown rice. No wonder they wanted steak. Because I wouldn't be so surprised if their reactions were actually real in those scenes. I hope the boys enjoyed food after the productions.

~

Aw. I haven't seen the show yet. But.. I might be siding with Ji Chang-wook's character. But his character could possibly go either way right now. Sometimes desperate characters like his, will do a lot of the very most desperate actions to achieve what they want. It's not surprising.

Yes. Even if you're suspicious of someone.. Why would you ever really give them a hard time when they just got out of the hospital, the very same person was almost dead. Yet you care about this man's motives though. Seriously? Horrible people. They weren't fair to Vincenzo. But to make matters worse, from my experience, they remind me of quite a few narcissistic people I know who aren't in my life anyway. Like for an example of one experience: Someone in my family died, this was a person I actually cared about in my family. But the narcissistic person didn't care that my family was in mourning over this person, they only cared about themselves. They wanted to the attention on them. Like I can't believe I had people like that in my life. People like that are really dead to me. I'm so much happier with those people out of my life too.

But that's what those scenes reminded me of. I know.. Vincenzo does have ulterior motives so he can get his gold, but he's not killing any of people to get the gold. He just wants them to move to another place.

Alice In Borderland season three was officially announced a few days ago, but I only just now heard about the news. So.. I don't know when the new season will be out since they aren't really in production yet.

As for the cast. The actors of Arisu and Usagi, they really have already been announced for the cast. Which is no surprise. Since they're main characters of the original casting. But no news on anyone else with in the cast yet. So until I hear about any actors from the original casting coming back, then I'm assuming this new plot is based on the manga Alice In Borderland: Retry. So we'll see what happens with the casting will be. Because don't get me wrong.. I do enjoy their actors, but only having them won't be enough for me. I need more original actors too.

Not including the Kpop fans who were spamming the fucking tags.

So.. I don't have the HiTV channel on my television, but I could watch any shows and movies on the HiTV site. I'll have to try the site soon.

Between Netflix, hopefully HiTV, and some other sites... I really would have ways to watch Asian media. So I'm happy about that right now.

More Korean shows and movies that I want to watch right now would be roles - preferably main roles - of Do-hwan, Sang-yi and Joong-ki... At least for right now. Not that I won't watch other shows and movies if I find any that seem interesting to me. So I may have some options.

But there is also Ji Chang-wook, and I know you did also watched me to more roles of Wi Ha-joon so I might give in a try too. I know there is other actors. But those are the actors I can think of at the moment.

was sarah not drugging those guys? i thought she was using redrum to knock em out?

if i end up making a rocky or hyuga oc, i might use it as a plot. but idk for now. since i’m already using ryu as the big bad to mess with hyuga and ryuko (and murayama).

i like tsukasa and fujio, and i’m also a fan of todoroki. i’m focusing more on my main four oc so idk if i’d write for the worst at this point, but if i did it’d probably be centered on any of those three.

~

exactly, like he can be playfully mean but also sometimes his comments are a lil too cutting. he’s not being intentionally mean, but it’s kind of just his personality. hence why his apologies are more acts as opposed to verbal. even if he did verbally apologise, it’d probably sound sarcastic.

~

yea the cop’s whole plot has thus far been around trying to get a promotion and it’s kind of the only reason he took the undercover job in the first place. also he’s kinda ……. dumb. he’s supposed to be undercover but then he goes to have lunch in public with his detective wife?? where he gets caught by his gangster boss!?? idiot behaviour. i know he was just trying to explain to her what was going on, but he should’ve just left her a voicemail like he’d already been doing.

vincenzo could have been way worse. he could’ve just ripped the place down and took the gold. instead he actually tried to help them and he’s repaid with all these questions and accusations and pushing. like he gave them an answer, he said they’d talk later! he wasn’t being overly dismissive or even outright saying ‘no’! but they just kept jumping on him! i would’ve said ‘fuck it i quit then’ too!

#tj answers #long post // #long post anon

[innocentimouto]

Hi there, I was wondering what you think of the following hypothetical JLA line-up: Superman, Batman (Dick Grayson), Wonder Woman, Cyborg, Green Lantern (Kyle Rayner), The Flash (Wally West), Tempest, and Martian Manhunter.

My idea is that Clark, Diana and J’onn would be the established, old guard while Vic, Garth and Dick are the new recruits, and Kyle and Wally are the “in-between” generation of once-newbies who earned their respective spots on the team, at an earlier point in their careers - what are your thoughts?

Ps. Grant Morrison and Ivan Reis would need to be the creative team, of course

Sorry that this is so late.

Um...So I never actually read the comics. Any comics. I keep putting it off because I don't like certain central characters. And also, I'd like to see how much fanon I could spot without the actual canon knowledge.

It's why I sort of stay away from posting about Dick now. I found him through fanfics. And through nothing BUT fanfics and maybe googling a comic panel, I could spot how inconsistent fanon is. He's apparently the first sidekick ever, he's the first Robin, he was Batman's partner, he has years of training, ROBIN.

But actually he's hopeless, clingy, overly emotional, extremely dense, stuck up, a cheater, scorns Jason for being from the streets, kicked Tim out, is incapable of keeping their identities a secret from any crossover character and on and on and on.

And so I just stared at the two, and believe me fics included both. These people KNEW the canon facts and either made up the fanon or just believe the fanon still makes sense with canon.

And at this point, it's just entertaining. I'm continuously surprised whenever I see a comic panel that addresses thing properly, like say oh Dick NOT liking people mocking his name. Or maybe Bruce's actions being called out. Or Jason telling Dick he's not a bad brother.

I'm also quietly disturbed at how bad certain things are in comics. They have a T-shirt of Bruce hitting Dick and people find it funny...And Dick is hopeless without Barbara's existence. All that intelligence going poof. And Tim HAS to always be called the best Robin, but from majority of stuff that I've seen from fics, he's just...a kid? Also how is that allowed to be said when there's Dick, Jason, and Damian? (Leaving out the mess with Stephanie, boy do I not want to get near Tim's storylines. That whole thing of shoving Dick's trauma in his face is...I have no words.)

So yeah. Can't answer much on comics or DC in general sorry. Maybe I'll get around to reading them one day. If we could just delete Tim, Barbara, and the current Dick Grayson comics

#asks

[sonadink]

What are your shadow headcanons? :)

yyyYEYYYYYYYYEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS, um,,,,,, a few,,,,,,,,, some of which i mention on my drawings sometimes but yes yes a real list--

It is cannon he eats coffee beans, but I figure he just about raws anything he can get his hands on: popcorn kernels, uncooked noodles, yeast packets, raw meat--the only one that makes sense is like fruit, veggies and nuts lmao either because he likes it that way or he just doesn't want to/can NOT cook for his life. Also eats shitloads of junk food in general

Shadow is hilarious and to expand on that; he can be petty, he is deadpan and speaks very confidently so who would doubt a word he says ("no one would believe you" which is the toppest tier of humor), he makes jabs with those he is comfortable with or like,,when he is enjoying his rivalry with Sonic in general (cannon actually, Sonic Heroes as source and even SA2 a lil "you're not even good enough to be my fake" is WAY funnier in JP version, comics and other games mark on this too, please add if you know them!) He is just a Funny Lil Guy whether he is aware of it or not

He is touch-starved but refuses to admit it. He doesn't want to appear weak/desperate but c'mon. Mans been isolated and self-isolates cuz that's what he's used to, what he generally prefers but deep down he craves some kind of connection to others. He always has, which is why he got so Hecked up in his backstory

His actual rival is Amy Rose.

LOVES nature!!!!! I can't see him living on earth and NOT taking in some kind of interest in the world around him when he grew up surrounded by metal, steel, and a more "sterile" environment in general. I think it's cannon he likes sunsets anyway??

Listens to all music, but I like to think rap is his actual fav. He writes poetry (very silly poetry sometimes because he is FUNNY which is CANNON) and rap is???? poetry??? so. bam. he and knuckles vibe to it. They have sessions on angel island every tuesday night (6:47pm)

I don't actually imagine him with any visible alien biology, but I clearly love the idea of him fucking around with people about it

Shadow is immortal, but I think if he got knucked around enough he can croak. i think that's just me projecting tho since immortality sounds horrifying and i wish him the best

He has a crush on Super Sonic/WereSonic/(Sonic in general) but he's more visibly flustered around those forms. I like to think when Shadow gave his life after Final Hazard and saw how empathetic and kind Sonic was being towards him as his strength faltered that "Super Sonic" was cemented in his mind. He already canonically respects Sonic A LOT so my hc steps a lil further to this falling under a very interesting mix of admiration/idolization (Sonic's strength, heroism, selflessness) and something,,,,more. Not that he'll acknowledge it. Openly. Except with Amy or Rouge/Omega.

He's good with kids!!! so he and Tails have formed a very honest and mutual Relationship™ where they both can see right through the bullshit and just kinda cut to the chase and help/enable their vices together

Shadow and Omega live with Rouge and she is everyone's Auntie including Shadow. I LOVE this HC soooo much.

I can see Shadow as demi, for sure!

I love the hc that Shadow is autistic!!! I'm not sure if I'm comfortable saying the "Shadow" I draw is autistic cuz I don't know enough about autism to claim it, so I don't want to accidentally misrepresent a whole group of people by my lack of knowledge. but I LOVE the idea and if people ever see my art and relate it to that, go for it!

this is getting long so i'll end it by saying he is just an idiot. A small short tiny dummy just like the rest of them!!!!! he drinks stupid juice too!!!!!!!! dont let his love of comically large knives fool you!!!!!

#sonadink #myart #NICE CHAULK #long post #shadow the hedgehog #headcannon #hc #sonic hc #sonic lore #sonic the hedgehog #shadow #amy rose #knuckles the echidna #rouge the bat #sonic fanart #sonic #savior au