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#and like. for the most part i like living there bc it definitely helps that i don't have to worry abt being called a slur like
sodafrog13 · 5 months
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man the irony of trans inclusive spaces still supporting harry patter is beyond me
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verstappen-cult · 4 months
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gonna take up on the request opening bc i love these lil blurbs you do with your moodboards! maybe "how they defend you online" esp charles and lando but if you feel like adding others its up to you !!
THE BOYS DEFENDING YOU FROM ONLINE HATE | F1 GRID
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★ — LANDO NORRIS (4)
lando was streaming when you came home one day. once he heard the front door being closed and then your footsteps, he excused himself with his friends and viewers and went to greet you. when he came back, there were several texts from his friends letting him know of some not-so-friendly comments about you. suddenly, lando had something else to do and ended the whole thing. he did not tell you anything, lando simply waited until his next stream for what he wanted to do. it was very simple and definitely something lando would do; and staring right into the camera lando let the world know that if they don’t support his relationship, then he just doesn’t want their support at all. from then on, lando just blocked everyone who didn’t have anything good to say. you’re the most important person in his life, how can anyone hate you? and so, lando made a promise to himself: show the world the amazing girl you are.
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★ — CHARLES LECLERC (16)
even way before you started dating charles, receiving hateful comments and messages was a common occurrence. of course your boyfriend knew about it, everyone could see what was happening just by choosing a random picture on your instagram and reading the replies. it was sad, awful. but you didn’t want charles to do anything, you stopped him a lot of times because you didn’t want to bring too much attention into the whole thing. charles loves you and that is all that matters to you. it was, well, okay… until things became a little to real, a little too much, and charles couldn’t sit back and do nothing. so with a little bit of help from his team, he managed to write a very good and long statement about the whole thing. there were mixed opinions but things quiet down a little. and you weren’t happy at first, but something as simple as seeing your comment section hate-free made you forgive him sooner.
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★ — OSCAR PIASTRI (81)
oscar is a man of very few words and never engages in online drama or gossip. if and when he’s online, oscar just wants to see cute and funny videos. he’s a formula one driver and people should only be interested in that part of his life, but he knows that will never be the case. however, he’s still surprised to see various comments around twitter about you. they are not about how beautiful or intelligent you are or how happy you seem to make oscar with your pretty smile and sense of humor – not that they would know that. not that they deserve to know that, either. some part of him wants to reply to those people who definitely don’t know you, he’s angry, disgusted. and the rational part of him tells him to simply don’t say anything because they don’t deserve it. so, oscar just clicks to make a new tweet and begins with a simple phrase “you don’t know anything about me or my life…” and so on. maybe he sounded a little harsh, maybe things will get worse; he couldn’t care less, as long as you’re not mad with him, he can live with being the center of the drama. oscar will never let anyone disrespect you.
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★ — MAX VERSTAPPEN (33/1)
max doesn’t care what people think and have to say about him, that ship has sailed a long time ago. but he can’t ignore when people say mean things about you, he just can’t, so, he doesn’t. max replies to every single tweet and comment on both his and your instagram that he sees, he goes directly to the point and if he’s mean then, who cares? maybe it’s a little bit childish but he doesn’t care, max will not allow anyone to talk shit about his girl. and if he needs to make a video or do an interview or whatever he needs to do to make people understand that you are part of his life and forever will be, then he will be more than happy to do them. max is almost never online, so when all of this happens he makes sure to make time to be online, to post a picture of you on his instagram story, to post a photo of your vacation together on his feed, to say how much he loves you via twitter, to mention you when he has the chance during an interview. he loves making you blush and seeing you trying to hide your smile when you see all those things. max also loves pissing people off.
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★ — ALEX ALBON (23)
alex tries to be friendly. when he sees someone say something not good about his girlfriend, he doesn’t hesitate to prove them wrong and defend you. he knows you’re more than capable of doing it and has seen you doing it before; he loves it. but there’s this something inside of him trying to break free and just let everyone know the funny, pretty, amazing, kind girl he’s lucky to call his girlfriend. so, alex lets it free and goes liking, retweeting and replying to every single comment about you and how shiny and nice your hair is, how you seem to make alex so happy and how he’s always smiling around you (he makes sure to let them know why is that), how lucky alex is to have you by his side, and so on and on and on until there’s nothing more for him, until he can’t think about the mean things people said, until you are laughing next to him and calling him obsessed and kissing him like your life depends on it.
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★ — DANIEL RICCIARDO (3)
daniel chooses a catchy song and changes some of the lyrics, then sets his phone down and sits with a big smile and his guitar. when the video starts, he simply says “this is dedicated to all of the assholes thinking that is okay to hate on someone’s girlfriend just because.” and then he starts singing. there are a lot of bad words and cursing and long pauses looking directly into the camera without losing that big and pretty smile he has. daniel then uploads the video to all his platforms with a little paragraph about why bullying is bad and why you should mind your own business because he’s not that interesting anyway and it won’t make him break up with you because some trolls are practically begging him to. he ends up getting in trouble for not consulting with his team before doing what he did, something that has him going viral, so viral that people outside of formula one and people who don’t even who he is talk about it. exactly what he wanted.
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★ — MICK SCHUMACHER (47)
the moment mick has to hold you in his arms as you cry because you’d read something mean about you, it’s the exact moment he decides to do something about it. he doesn’t want to cause drama or make things worse, so, it takes him a little while and some long calls with his sister to know what to do. mick puts the poetry classes you two take a few months ago to good use and writes the most beautiful and romantic poem you and everyone would ever read. it is about you, about his love for you, about what you mean to him and everything he likes about you. he posts a little phrase to his instagram stories and sets a time and day for when it will be posted it. when the day cames and you get to read it, you end up crying again but for a whole different reason. it’s not that you didn’t know mick loved you but it’s the gesture, the time he spent doing it, the fact that he wanted to do it and wanted the whole world to read his love letter to you, something that will forever be there.
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© VERSTAPPEN-CULT ⎯ do not repost, translate, plagiarise or claim any of my works as your own.
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tailsz · 9 months
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Bungo Stray dogs Boyfriend headcannons!
NSFW INCLUDED‼️‼️
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Includes: Atsuhi, Dazai, Kunikida, Ranpo, Akutagawa, Chuuya, Fydor, Sigma, Nikolai.
A/N: we are going to ignore the fact that i haven’t updated in a month…
ANYWAYS ILL SEE WHAT FANDOM IS NEXT 😝😝
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Atsuhi!🐯
Oh he was definitely panicking when he came to terms that he liked you😓
If you so much as grazed any of your body parts onto him he will actually die
AND NGL HE WOULD AVOID YOU??? you were left dumbfounded 😒
Dazai had to be the one spilling the tea that atsuhi likes you because atsuhi REFUSED to confess (Dazai thought teasing him would help. IT DID NOT HELP.)
Oh my god and when y’all start dating he’s even more on edge for like the first couple of weeks, it honestly concerned you
BUT ONCE HE CALMED DOWN
he is the whole package of ‘Perfect Boyfriend!’ 💐
he will literally break his BACK for you, he wants to make sure you’re happy for the rest of your life<3
So if you’re a fellow member of the ADA, he would like discreetly HINT to the others and the president that he wants to take as many missions w/ u as possible (it was BARELY discreet but it worked 😍‼️)
Y’all have matching PJ’S 😋( it’s a white and orange tiger onesies 🤭)
he made you one of those friendship bracelets with each-others initials (he has yours, and you have his<:)
The first time he tried to make you breakfast in bed, he dropped it all on you and the bed ☠️
(HE IS SO CLUMSY LIKE DUDE???)
he always comes to you when he feels one of his PTSD attacks coming
(you cuddle him for like 1-2 hours)
you can never guarantee your safety anywhere, but with you, he feel safe 24/7 <3
HE ABSOLUTELY LOVES BINGING SAPPY ROMANCE SHOWS WITH U. ESPECIALLY LOVE TRIANGLES
Y’all always fighting with who the main girl is gonna end 😒 HE IS MOSTLY ALWAYS RIGHT TOO
y’all split paper work up! WHICH MAKES YALL SUPER PRODUCTIVE (y’all come in second to kunikida that man does NOT play 😓)
he loves holding your wrist insted of ur hand when walking (he’s autistic idk man)
NSFW!!
Oh boy he is a submissive top😓
Like he’s always trying to pleasure you sexually or not
BUT WHAT GETS HIM HELLA TURNED ON.
is when you dominated him and order him around while he’s doing so 👏
i want to say he’s pretty vanilla BUT HE IS NOT AGAINST USING TOYS.
this one time you convinced him to wear a toy in public 🤭
it actually gave him a heart attack when anyone would talk to him bc you would turn it out and let me tell u rn. HE IS LOUD.
while nobody else noticed.. DAZAI DID .N HE NEVER LET HIM LIVE IT DOWN.
dazai always brings THAT up when atsuhi refuses to do his paperwork 😓
he likes it when you sit on his face 🤭 he doesn’t need oxygen wdym
HE LOVES REVERSE COWGIRL
MY GOD DOES HE LOVE THIGH HIGHS‼️‼️
god the moment he sees you wearing them he’s BEGGING you to let him touch n taste you 🗣️
HE LEAVES SO MANY BITE MARKS ON YOUR THIGHS 🙏🙏🙏
he is absolutely into overstimulation
he TRIES to hide his kinks but like. HE IS SUCH A CLUTS AND A BAD LIAR 🔥
his aftercare is the best ! he brings u some sweets, cleans u up, and puts on a trashy movie to watch !
HE IS A THIGH MAN ‼️
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DAZAI‼️❤️‍🩹
oh jesus christ okay um.
for you to enter a relationship with osamu in his ADA era. YOU WOULDVE TO HAVE KNOWN HIS SINCE HIS DARK ERA.
We all know osamu is. a womanizer so THATS PART OF THE REASON
the main reason is because you 2 are traumatized teenagers who found comfort in eachother 😓
but anyways he asked u out in the most . RANDOM-EST WAYS EVER??
HE ASKED U OUT WHEN YALL GOT INTO THE ADA 😓
he asked u out in morse code. U WERE SCARED AT FIRST BC YOU THOUGHT YALL WE’RE BEING FOLLOWED (he grabbed ur hand and squeezed out morse code to clarify)
so u asked him to repeat it again and
you just stopped walking, and in morse code asked if he was being serious HE WAS‼️‼️
honestly. YALL ARE THAT COUPLE THAT CHECK PPL OUT?? YK WHAT I MEAN
like y’all could be walking and this fine ass man walks past y’all AND YOU BOTH TURN YOUR NECK TO LOOK
YALL GET SO SILLY WHEN YOU DO
a couple should never shame the fact that people are hot 😓
ERM U GOT HIM INTO SKIN CARE
well actually he just likes it bc he makes u do it for him 😒
U GUYS PLAY FIGHT A LOT , AS IN INSULTS NOT PHYSICALLY (y’all have to calm down the office bc they think y’all r being fr 😓)
oh em gee , date nights for y’all is just. Buying like 2 bottles of whiskey or vodka and drink it ALLL in your shared apartment ‼️
U CANNOT KEEP A SECRET FROM HIM ITS SO ANNOYING
u TRIED to make him a surprise birthday party BUT NOOOOO (asshole smh 😒)
after a certain point, he lets u help him change his bandages <3 for once in his life, he can put trust in someone like this :D
… YALL LISTEN TO THE WEEKEND RELIGIOUSLY ‼️‼️‼️‼️
NSFW!!
HE IS A DOMINANT SWITCH ‼️‼️
it doesn’t matter if he’s being the top it bottom. HE IS GOING TO BE IN CHARGE NO MATTER WHAT
he is SO MEAN
oh he will 100% humiliate and mock u during the whole thing
he has. LONG AND I MEAN LONGGGG ASS FINGERS. ( he likes to finger you before fucking you 🤭🤭)
CERTIFIED ORGASM DENIER⁉️
he will deny your orgasm because he can. NO REASON WHATSOEVER HE IS A JACKASS
HE LIKES MISSIONARY . he LOVES to see your fucked out face 😓
he is very much into public sex/ teasing
this one time when he actually came into a meeting, you being the genius you are.. started to rub his dick with your shoe under the table 😍🙏
you were so smug about the fact that after the meeting you left him alone
yea you weren’t so smug when he dragged you to a bathroom and fucked your brains out 😓
HE LIKES IT WHEN U PULL HIS HAIR
he isn’t that loud little grunts here in there but. HE WILL DO IT IN YOUR EAR🙏🙏
oh he leaves SO MANY HICKEYS ON UR NECK⁉️ u don’t have enough time to cover them so u just . HAVE TO SUCK IT UP N GO TO WORK LIKE THAT☹️
yosano gave u the side eye with a wink 😚
his aftercare is kinda. shit..
U HAVE TO DO IT 😓😓 but that’s ok ig knowing him this long, it’s not that surprising (he appreciates u doing it <3)
kunikida 👨‍🏫
ERM SO YOU LIKED HIM FIRST RIGHT
But the things is , you barely met his standards in his notebook HE DIDNT TELL U THAT BUT HE WAS A LITTLE CONFLICTED ON WHAT TO DO.
so he went to dazai …… DAZAI SET YALL UP ON A DATE BC HES THE BEST WINGMAN 💪
he honestly had a wonderful time on the date and said SCREW my notebook (for the first time in his life 😓)
he can and will switch from boyfriend to parent at you ☹️
like let’s say your life isn’t rlly great
HE WILL SWITCH IT UP FOR U SO ??? EFFECTIVELY???
he lets u braid his hair SOMETIMES 😒
you asked him one time if y’all could match nail colors (not acrylics they’re not the best for the job)
YALL ROCKED THAT PRETTY OCEAN BLUE NAIL COLOR FOR A MONTH ‼️‼️ 💅
after u taught him the basics of makeup, HE LOVES DOING YOURS
(he actually got better than u… ur a little salty..)
he liked it when u give him forehead kisses :D
he shames u for watching trashy TV BUT THE SECOND HE SEES 90 day marriage he BINGES IT WITH U (i forgot the actual name)
NSFW!!
ok let’s be for real.
this man is a dominant top 🙏
like in the battle feild, he likes being in control, when your on his bed, he likes being in control
when u act like a brat insted of punishing u by fucking u in whatever way (edging or spanking)
HE WILL REFUSED TO TOUCH U
like he’ll get u all hot (and wet) JUST for him not to touch u
him being taunted by a man child at work (dazai) he very much knows how to deal with them
he likes it when u pull on his pony tail 🤭🤭
he’s not THAT kinky however he does have a red rope under his bedddddd..
HE LOVES TITS MAN LIKE 😓😓
no matter how big, he will leave so many bite marks on them 🤭
he likes bending you over a desk/bed when he fucks you 😓
he is very sweet when fucking you, showering you in praises ‼️‼️
however he can last a very LONG time so get ready for that overstimulation !!
His aftercare is pretty standard! he runs a shower for the 2 of u so y’all can be all cute and sentimental <3
HE IS A TITS GUY (duh)‼️‼️‼️
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Ranpo🍩 (if ykyk)
OK SO YALLS CASE IS
you fell first, but he feel harder <3
Because cmon. U cannot keep a secret from this man for the life of you😒
like he deducted that you had feelings for him
and that got him thinking, but this thinking lasted for a while so HE KEPT ON THINKING ABOUT YOU
and at some point yosano asked if he was ok , and he was like “no… i’m in LOVE??? YUCK”
you feel in love with a man child 😓😓
he confessed to u… IN THE MIDDLE OF A MURDER CASE YALL WERE WORKING ON….
NOW ONTO THE ACTUAL RELATIONSHIP
you guys are so unserious YALL ANNOY THE SHIT OUT OF EVERYONE 😓😓 (y’all know when u need to be serious tho dw !)
u guys pull daily pranks of the agency NOT ON DAZAI THAT WHORE KNOWS 😒😒
he doodles on your hand when he’s hella bored 🤭
speaking of which !
you guys have a LOT of drawing contest 😋
DAWG YALL HIT UP THE CANDY STORE LIKE EVERY FRIDAY (you’re on ur way to be diabetic 😓😓)
HE IS A BLANKET HOGGER.
not only that he moves a lot while asleep WHICH U DO TOO
It’s a gamble to see who’ll wake up on the floor 🤷🏽‍♀️
shit talking is a must EVERY time y’all go out to eat ‼️‼️
YOU GUYS HAVE MATCHING BEANIES or whatever his hat is called (it was his idea 😋) u guys r so silly
SPEAKING OF SILLY…
y’all play roblox… U GUYS BULLY N SCAM LIL KIDS 😓😓 (ONLY UR ACC GOT BANNED BTW AND NOT HIS??? u were pissed 😒)
u gotta strap him down to drink water and eat at LEAST of fruits bc oh my god???
bro does not have the most healthiest diet but yk what thats ok be REAL
NSFW!!
he’s a dominant switch leaning more to bottoming..⁉️
and we ALL know why
U NEED TO PLEASE THE GREATEST DETECTIVE IN THE WORLD DUH 🙏
he makes u please him FIRST before he even THINKS on laying a finger on you
oh but he knows what buttons to push to fluster you, get you in the mood, and how to get you even more hot and bothered 🤭
he has collar for u <3
MIRROR SEX 😓 he wants to make sure YOU see how stupid u get 💅
oh y’all 100% have sex in public, not for the thrill because he knows y’all won’t get caught
NO BECAUSE THIS GUY IS CLINGY AND NEEDY AS HELL😓
his sex drive is pretty high so YOURE IN FOR IT ALL (well he’s in you 🏃🏽‍♀️)
he is. SO. GOOD WITH HIS TOUNGE.
he eats you out like 4 times a week AND WHEN HE DOES
He can AND WILL make u come more than 1 time
HE WILL HUMILIATE U <33
100% overstimulates you by making YOU pleasure him (giving head , riding etc)
y’all split aftercare because god forbid he pampers you 😒 (he will if he knows it bothers you <33)
yall have a bath bubble bath after with rubber duckies 😋
50/50 chance yall fuck again 😓
HE IS A THIGH MAN.
Akutagawa🌑
ok so..😦
you guys met around the same time when u both got recruited by dark era dazai 😓😓
meaning well, dazai also trained you 🧍🏽‍♀️
it took him a while to trust you bc well having a horrid childhood PLUS having a very psychotic man training u in the mafia does something to u!
u would take care of each others wounds when needed too..<3
he confessed a little after dazai left the mafia
he wrote u a very straight forward note to meet up somewhere because he’s taking u out 🤗
(ik sounds hella delulu but if aku rlly does loves u, i feel like he would have a soft spot for u and would have no shame to show it to u and ONLY u :D)
y’all stargazed that night and swore to have each others back (that’s his way of saying ily <3)
onto the actual relationship!
he would absolutely rather DIE than do PDA
y’all train together and he does NOT go easy on you 😓
regardless on how he asked u out, that does not mean he changed his personality
he can and WILL be a dick to u , but that’s ok bc u fight back that’s kinda y’all’s thing 💅
you guys get up really early in the morning so, before work, y’all go to the same breakfast place every single day :D
u got along with Gin, and that was something he was hoping for u
when u guys are alone walking to a destination of a mission, we will hold ur pinkie <3
y’all talk in morse code a lot, whether y’all blink or tap ! (it’s mostly to make sure the other is ok)
it’s painfully obvious that he cannot express his feelings when he’s feeling like shit , so he does lash at you
you however, manage the situation perfectly , you do not blame him because you and him KNOW what he’s been through
however you tell him every time that u are not at fault to the reason he’s upset.
he grumbles an apology, while u smile warmly:D
as an apology he’s, a LESSER pain in the ass <3
No nsfw for aku, i HC that he is asexual !
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CHUUYA🎃
ok ok so 🏃🏽‍♀️
when chuuya got recruited into the mafia, you were already a subordinate to Kouyou
(you had recently joined too!)
You wielded a katana that supported your ability to the max which is why u we’re out under kouyou!
when you first lay eyes on him , you were infatuated (he is so pretty..)
though he barely trusted the mafia at the time, so it took him a while to fully trust you
and boy when he did
he never left your side<3
as you guys went up the ranks, Mori thought it would be best to have u as chuuyas right hand woman when he became executive (after dazai left anyway)
meaning.. YALL SPENT HELLA TIME TOGETHER….
he honestly was in denial about his feelings towards because the thought of another potential betrayal, especially from you?
so it took a while to confess, to the point where kouyou noticed and they had MANY talks abt it
enough to get him confidence and or reassurance
he asked u out in the most romantic way possible ‼️‼️‼️
he first of all took u out to dinner (which was a regular occurrence so u thought nothing of it)
HE PULL OUT A BIG ASS BOQUET OF FLOWERS WHILE U WERE CHEWING ON UR FOOD N ASKED 😦😦
ANYWAYS MOVING ONTO THE ACTUAL RELATIONSHIP
he is so??? fucking amazing???
his love language is buying you EXPENSIVE SHIT😨😨 (u don’t complain)
he wont do PDA bc like.. he doesn’t wants y’all business be shown to everyone
HOWEVER HE WILL BE ALLLL OVER U IF HES JELOUS ☠️ (this applies when osamu was still in the mafia, he would get hella touchy w/ u to piss chuuya off)
u make him carry u using his ability ‼️‼️
MATCHING WATCHES 🤭
y’all have arguments every now and then bc y’all have a very short temper ☠️
(y’all still apologize to eachother tho 😋 UNLESS THE FIGHT GETS YALL HELLA PETTY ☠️☠️)
every single time y’all fight and his and your subordinates witness it all ??
they all think “This again?”
u like sleeping LITERALLY on top of him HE DOESNT REALLY APPRECIATE NOT BEING ABLE TO BREATHE 😍😍
he lets u do his hair a lot 🙏🙏
SELF CARE NIGHTS R A MUST
if u don’t do it , he WILL get u into it
NSFW!!
he is a dominant switch babes..
no matter if he’s the one receiving or giving? he is the one ordering you around
he is so into BDSM
ik this is like stereotypical of him BUT.
the idea of red wine lingerie on you will make him bust on the spot.
MIRROR SEX🏃🏽‍♀️‼️
he loves calling you his little slut 😝
HAIR PULLING
and HELLA BITTING 🤯 (get it cuz he’s a vampire ha ha ha!!! /j)
contrary to popular belief, i think he’s into the risk of public sex
this. ONE. TIME. he was fingering you while yall were in a meeting..
GOD KNOWS HOW MORI DIDNT NOTICE BECAUSE IF HE DID.☠️
but you know who did? KOUYOU. she gave y’all the nastiest side eye and was left flabbergasted (HER TWO KIDS ARE DOING SUCH INDECENT SHIT???)
he absolutely loves it when you initiate the foreplay
he will ALSO make you deep throat him 😣
… gun kink..? 😞
he likes licking you ??? he’s cat i swear
THIGH MAN OH MY GOD
he CANNOT keep his hands off them..
he does the thing where he’s driving and his free hand is on your thigh
that’s like how 99.9% car sex happenes btw!
AFTER CARE 10/10
he runs you a bath
HE DRESSES YOU UP
he SETTELES YOU IN BED?
treats you like a god damn princess ‼️‼️
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FYDOR 🐀
erm ok so first
you gotta be a little delusional ok
because i have a feeling that if it were cannon him.. he would only be with you for his own entertainment so…
WE ARE GOING TO BE DELUSIONAL AND PRETEND THATS NOT THE CASE 😍‼️‼️
ok so…
you got recruited to the DOA by nikolai because he just found you loosing control of your ability??? (real y/n moment ‼️‼️)
he thought you were silly enough SO HE DRAGGED U ALONG
He did get a scolding by fydor for bringing a random stranger to their HQ? (what even is their building called ☠️)
he thought since you were already there… to get a good read at you and found you fascinating to say the least
He saw a TINT of innocence with.. rage?? he absolutely loved it
but then.. the more he “hung out” with you.. he started feeling this weird thing in his chest every time you popped into his mind..
he immediately knew what it is was and
he started avoiding you
because love isn’t something he needs right now
bros trying to take over the world and purify it not.. this.
the more he thought about it , his mind came up with the excuse that .. maybe your love can empower him..
AND HE BAUGHT IT
he asked you out so straight forward???
like y’all were in the middle of drinking tea and he just said “Would you like to take my hand in a relationship?”
and you spat out your tea and he did NOT repeat himself 😒
ONTO THE ACTUAL BF HC…
just because he loves and would set the world on fire for you… he still has high standards for you as a member of the DOA
he also likes to challenge you intellectually so you could (not rlly BUT STILL) keep up with him!
it actually has helped you tho! 
you guys have this little tradition of writting silly poems for eachother
it’s impossible to trick this man so.. you make him look for YOUR poems 😋 (the effort is there!)
he actually knows how to do makeup so he does yours on a regular basis! (it’s like between a casual goth look)
if you don’t have the same beliefs as him, he still appreciates the thought of you helping and supporting him
in one of his battles with the ADA, you were his trump card, dazai was left flabbergasted tbh
though he’s not high maintenance, he loves LOVES holding ur hand :D
y’all own a black kitty his name is Nova!
HES THE BEST CUDDLIER
oh my god he cannot stand when you give someone else attention
like he won’t say it outloud but like..
it lowkey pisses him off when you do
he can be a peace of shit to you
the thing that he likes tho is that u don’t let him walk over you ‼️
NSFW!!
2 words.
Dominant
bottom (maybe he’ll top u like once a month..)
HE AN ANEMIC MAN HE BARELY HAS THE ENERGY TO SURVIVE THE DAY.
but oh boy his personality…
erm! reverse cowgirl is his go to position..
HE MAKES U SUCK HIM OFF BEFORE ANYTHING THO..
honestly you have no problem with this
the sight of him whimpering under your touch MY GODDD 😝😝
he will absolutely never outright admit that you make him feel good 😒
THE ONCE IN A LIFETIMES WHERE HE TOPS YOU
it’s wild.
he doesn’t need to go rough on you because he has your body memorized like the back of his hand
he KNOWS what spots to abuse 😓
i honestly think he’s a tit guy
he knows that he loves the thought of you fucking him up BUT HE WANTS U TO TAKE INITIATIVE🤨
pick up context clues babes
his aftercare is actually pretty great but it doesn’t invole you getting out of bed just tons of cuddles and praises <3
—————————————————————
Nikolai 🤡
he would 100% prefer a high-maintenance partner to keep up with his silly doings yk?
so in this case.. sigma “recruited” you to the DOA (with fydors approval in advance)
YALL WERE IN SYNC ASAP⁉️⁉️
you guys play pranks on everyone except fydor bc he SUCKS smh…😒
HE JUMPSCARES U A LOT WITH HIS COAT☠️
at the start of y’all’s friendship he said “oh who said a guy and a girl can’t be the best of buds and nothing more!”
well..! that didn’t age well
y’all are the “You fell first but he feel harder”
i would like to say niko was oblivious to your feelings because everything you guys do are jokes…
he never thought anything you 2 did was serious
so.. apologies for the delay!
honestly it was fydor who told him
though he does not care of y’all’s love life.. niko was pushing his buttons that day and Fedya thought that was the best way to shut him up
and it worked
he was a lil flabbergasted 😦
when he REALLLYYY thought about it… he enjoyed the thought of you 2 being something more..
SO HE ASKED YOU OUT IN THE MOST NIKOLAI WAY :D
he gave you 2 bouquets of flowers 💐!!
though one was poisoned and you had to figure out which one wasn’t by a time limit… (YOU GOT IT LIKE A MINUTE BEFORE THO‼️)
and then he confessed and y’all lived happily ever after :D
…..
the day that fedya told niko that you liked him.. WAS THE REASON WHY FEDYA WANTS TO KHS.
if he thought that the 2 of u were annoying before?
JESUS CHRIST MULTIPLY IT BY 10☠️
he cannot go a day without physically holding you
whether it’s your hand , arm , leg thighs anything (he’s touch starved)
MATCHING OUTFITS R A MUST
he whines to fydor when he doesn’t pair y’all up for a mission
while fedya and dazai were in prison yall procrastinated on your current mission… YALL GOT IT DONE LAST MINUTE THO😓😓
Dawg leaves you no room in the bed he spreads out to much AND he’s a blanket hogger🤨
neither of you can cook
SO U MAKE SIGMA COOK FOR YOU😍‼️‼️
very rarely gets emotional with you, but when he does?
those are the moments you 2 are thankful you found eachother <3
NSFW!!
he’s very high maintenance so…
he’s a dominant top ‼️
public sex is something the 2 of you do on a daily basis
very VERY high sex drive
y’all’s first time you told him to go slow because you’ve never done anything like this b4 and he did..!
the second you told him to go a little faster..
DAWG HE WENT ALL OUT (at the time it lowkey hurt BUT I FELT SO GOOD??)
fedya gives y’all the nastiest look when y’all come out of the bathroom…
he loves sending you videos of his print 👏👏👏
he knows you love his hands so he fingers you a lot
speaking of which.. HE EDGES YOU ALOT
he does it for no reason what so ever like at all..
he thinks it’s funny ☹️
HE LIKES IT WHEN YOU ACT LIKE A BRAT 😍‼️‼️
like sex is a silly game between y’all
(he knows it’s game you can’t win)
honestly he has a size kink 🤷🏽‍♀️
AND AND wax play‼️‼️
he likes teasing you and then just leaving u alone for the rest of the day 😒😒
HE LOVES GRIPPING YOUR WAIST WHILE FUCKING U FROM BEHIND
erm his aftercare is average he cleans you up and bring you water and y’all fall asleep pretty quickly
honestly i think he’s a tit guy!
—————————————————————
SIGMA 🎶
erm ok so nikolai also recruited u here! (im so original!!)
for starters he already liked you sense of fashion
like a victorian era type 😜
he noticed how you always had your headphones in.. but when he talked to you.. you took them off
maybe he was reading too much into it but it made his heart flutter
you spent most of your time in his casino, so you give had tons of time to bond
he honestly enjoyed the times where you’d share headphones (he LOVESS your playlist)
honestly niko kept teasing him abt you and no matter how many times he tried to confess he couldn’t
well face to face anyway.. he wrote u a cute silly poem >w•
both of y’all’s love language is quality time
honestly fydor doesn’t exactly hate y’all together so that’s something!
late night walks is a daily routine yall do almost every day
he loves doing your makeup AND hair ‼️‼️‼️🫶
yall do eachothers nails all the time😋
OO EVERY FRIDAY IS A MOVIE NIGHT
every other day y’all go to this little coffee shop in the morning b4 dealing with a chaotic day
you are a night owl while she’s an early morning person
y’all take baths together all the time <33
y’all have the ENTIRE lego flower collection ‼️‼️
that’s literally the main reason nikolai is not allowed NEAR your shared appointment 😓😓
NSFW!!
cmon..
this man. WITH HIS SLUTTY WAIST.
is a submissive bottom 🤷🏽‍♀️
originally he thought “ofc im going to take the role of being on top because-“
the moment you practically pinned him .. you awoken something in him😨
HE LOVES LOVES LOVESSS being dominated so bad it’s concerning
he doesn’t HATE it when you take things slow.. but jesus christ when you go rough on him?
he nuts in the spot 🤷🏽‍♀️
he likes it when you pull on his hair ‼️
he’s into BDSM (it’s always the quiet ones)
he has a smile sex drive so honestly it’s up to you! he doesn’t mind tbh 🗣️
he loves it when you play music while y’all have sex 🎶🎶
erm nikolai can’t KNOCK A FUCKING DOOR SO HE JUST WALKED INTO YOUR HOME AND SAW YOU RIDING SIGMA.
he never ever let him live it down
this one time you made him wear a toy on his dick and though he will deny it..
it was one of the best days of his ENTIRE LIFE🤭🤭
he also likes the excitement of being blindfolded
his favorite place to have sex in is the living room IDK WHY🤨
mostly it’s you doing the aftercare which he rates a 5 stars! 🫶🫶
———————————
OKAY THATS IT!! again ik it’s been a month.. ILL TRY TO POST MORE FREQUENT!
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hellobabydoll333 · 2 months
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How I manifest
Okay so I’ve consciously manifested a lot of things. Most of them I can’t even remember because I’ve known about the law for a long time, but I’ve only recently started to properly apply what I’ve learnt, so my past successes-before recently were scattered and I still didn’t realize what I was doing to achieve these successes but now I do.
I used to think people/blogs were always so vague and now I understand that it was the complete opposite. It was just THAT simple. Whatever resonates with you, there’s no need to over-analyze it over-consume. You know what to do. But Here’s what I did:
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So I wanted a couple things. I made a whole note in my notes app… I made it a one week challenge.
I wrote ‘Stay loyal to the desired state until ___ (date). Come back and note progress.’
Desires:
Money
SP
Beauty
Results:
Everyday I look at myself in the mirror, I notice I’m getting prettier & prettier.
Had a conversation over text with this guy who is absolutely horrible at replying to texts. And we called a couple times as well. When I saw the first text (diff occasion than the conversation) I screamed literally and that’s honestly what started these successes and made me realize what I was doing.
My bank account definitely looks better at the end of the week than the start.
Trusting my imagination & loving in it has become so much easier
What I reminded myself of:
If I had ___ would I be worrying?
I love living in my imagination. It’s so fun up here.
I am my own guarantee.
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The main things is that you need to take your focus off of the 3D & take back your power completely. I took control and I told myself I will persist no matter what. Of course, I slipped up sometimes but I returned to the state of ‘idc I’m the creator, whatever I say goes’. I wanted to call it the Barbie state because you know our girl Barbie is all about belief in herself but you know, it has a lot of names, wtv.
The point is that all you have to do is believe in yourself, you don’t even have to do that, just decide you have what you want/you’re getting what you want- whatever, decide something and stick with it. Stick with it. Stick with it. Discipline is so important. Think about how good things will be once you do. Think about how good things are because you are sticking with it. Be more present in having. Enjoy experiencing it. Whatever method/non method makes you feel fulfilled & like you have what you want (because you do) & you don’t even need to feel like you have it to have it so don’t even stress about that part, hunnies. But It’s so much fun, I promise.
Links to some posts that I honestly believe will help you with discipline & not motivation bc fuck motivation. It’s discipline you need:
Why you keep on failing by @heavenangelly
“Ignore the 3D” by @nondualiber
HOW TO ACTUALLY FEEL FULFILLED to by @luckykiwiii101
Motivation Is Not The Key 🔑 by @luckykiwiii101
And that’s it. This is so detailed. Hope this helped you!
Mwuah
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tending-the-hearth · 11 months
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everything i loved about "the little mermaid" live action
Ariel's melody being her siren song!! that little new bit of lore!! i also really liked that it added more depth as to why Ursula wanted her voice in exchange for her becoming human
the way Ariel became almost angry during the bridge of "Part of Your World", she was so frustrated that she couldn't do the things she was dreaming about, like YES let her be mad!!
full body chills during "Part of Your World" + the first reprise
Ariel helping Max onto the boat 😭😭😭
I've mentioned this before, but Ariel hearing Eric's voice before seeing him!!! hearing him sing before seeing him!!! agh!!!!
Eric holding Ariel's hand on the shore after she rescues him 😭
the detail put into each of Ariel's sisters was so stunning, i'm so excited to read more about them in the books! i loved that they each had their own specific vibe
THEY INCLUDED THE FACT THAT URSULA AND TRITON ARE SIBLINGS YES THANK YOU VERY MUCH
"For the First Time" being a voice over, as Ariel's thoughts, and then the scene shifting to complete darkness except for her to represent us being in her head and hearing her thoughts, and the way it gets cut off when she realizes she can't say "hello" to Eric? i cried
The Jodi Benson cameo and her giving Halle!Ariel the fork 😭 literally her passing on the mantel of Ariel 😭😭
Eric and Ariel being total nerds with each other??
The way Ariel "told" Eric her name using the constellations???? and him saying it was written in the stars???? hello????
Also Eric saying "my little mermaid" made me so soft wtf
Eric and Ariel running around and giggling in the castle and being the definition of puppy love like they're so goofy and in love i adore them
the "Part of Your World" reprise after Ariel sees Eric with Vanessa shattered my heart, the MOST heartbreaking song
Grimsby kicking the ring away after it falls near him, my man knew exactly what was going on, he's known Ariel for three days and is already a ride or die
just Ariel and Eric holding each other so tightly after she gets her voice back, and Eric refusing to let her go until Ursula literally has to throw him away
ARIEL BEING THE ONE TO KILL URSULA USING THE SKILLS SHE SAW ERIC USE OH MY GOD IT WORKED SO SO WELL
i like that they added a chunk of time passing between Ursula's death and Eric and Ariel reuniting, it added a little extra drama and emotion when they finally saw each other again!
listen i'm an absolute sucker for a "hug before kiss" reunion and i was SO happy that Eric and Ariel had that, it fit them and their relationship perfectly, the way Eric just clung to her, and Ariel's happy smile as she hugged him back 😭
The mermaid statue and the dress representing the land vs. the sea???? and both returning back to where they're supposed to be but having new meanings????
Ariel's wedding dress being pink to (probably) pay homage to her pink ballgown in the animated movie was such a good touch, and i loved the length!!
Triton and Ariel's goodbye, where he says "you shouldn't have had to give up your voice for me to hear you"???? hello my father issues jumped tf out and had me sobbing in the theater
literally the entire movie was so beautiful, i could talk about it for hours, this is the best live action remake honestly, and Eric and Ariel (specifically the live action version obvi) have moved up to become my favorite Disney Princess/Prince pairing, just behind Belle and Adam (bc let's be honest, nothing can top them)
@queen-with-the-quill bc i know you're seeing it soon! more things i forgot to tell you lol
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peachhoneii · 11 months
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Rio and Jefferson pulled the most wholesome “This boy did not just bring home a white girl” I’ve ever seen in a movie pertaining to an interracial romance that included a white woman/girl. Because they’re absolutely kind and respectful to Gwen, but they were not expecting a white girl. I cackled at Rio’s “I bet she doesn’t speak Spanish.” Like MA’AM.
I know a significant part of it was them learning to let Miles go and accepting he’s growing up, but another part was they genuinely didn’t expect him bringing home a white girl. That definitely caught them off guard because they didn’t see that coming at all. I love their reactions to it bc it’s similar to how my parents responded to my brother’s white gf.
“Oh, she just said my first name.” Yeah, felt that on an instinctual level. Grew up in the South, Mr. and Mrs. always came first, but this isn’t a race thing because Ganke does the same thing, which neither Rio or Jefferson appreciate. Feel this is just a generational gap sort of thing.
A tidbit about Miles. I really, really appreciate the film including his lowkey attraction to Margo Kess. Gwen and Miles are my preferred ship, but this was a nice touch where you saw Miles and Margo vibe with each other, albeit briefly. There were some sparks. In his escape, Margo hesitated when she could’ve stopped Miles and eventually turns on Miguel, realizing that while his motives may be noble, his methods are not.
There are other small, subtle nuanced concerning race and depiction of race that I genuinely respect the film for depicting so seamlessly. When Rio corrected the guidance counselor on her immigration status, “I’m from Puerto Rico. I’m from here.” But she slowly accepts the line if it means helping Miles’ succeed.
Also the contrast between Miles and 42-Miles hairstyles. That is so POIGNANT to me. Miles is such an open, caring boy and his hair reflects that bountiful spirit he has. It’s thick and open and free. 42-Miles has been damaged by the world so extensively that he’s closed off emotionally and his hair, tight, coiled braids, reflect the coldness he lives in and has become.
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prettymase · 1 month
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Meant To Be
NOTES: This fic is completely newly written and I haven’t written in ages but I hope this is good enough. Before you get into it I want you to know that some parts of the fic are quite personal to me and I was contemplating on whether to add or not, but I have included TW warnings. This fic had also been requested by my love @footiehoemcfc I hope you enjoy reading it babe. There will be a part two to this but I wanted to get the first part out first bc I’ve left @footiehoemcfc waiting too long for this 🫶🏼 ✨
WORD COUNT: 4.9k words
TW: mentions of car crash, drunk drivers
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You promised yourself that you would never be in this situation.
This is the kind of situation you told your best friends to avoid. It’s basic girl code, telling them not to be stupid in going back to their ex. You know it never ends well. Most of the time anyways.
Most of the time they end up falling for their bullshit and then that causes them hurting even more.
You know right now, you are a dumbass.
Your relationship with Mason ended shortly after Christmas.
It’s bad enough you saw it coming but you didn’t expect it to happen quickly after Christmas as the way he broke up with you, you thought he would want to mend things. Things that haven’t been easy in your relationship the last few weeks. You thought he wanted to apologise for being a dick.
Before the World Cup, you both knew the relationship was falling short. However, you were determined to make it work. No matter how had you tried, you couldn’t afford losing him.
You tried to support him in every way possible. Travelling to Qatar, showing your moral support. You also suggested couples therapy, tried to get him to talk about his feelings he was keeping inside. And everything else that was on the list. Making you feel useless at times.
Mason however, wasn’t having any of it. He liked to feel like he could take care of himself. He knew he was pushing you away and he didn’t want to but this is what it has come to and he can’t stop himself now.
In Qatar, there wasn’t much you could do with him not being able to see everyday with the World Cup consequences. Which you understood. You tried looking at the positives, maybe time apart from you would make him realise how much he misses having you around and helping him out. You thought he would he would take his time to think about how shitty he has been with you the last couple of weeks leading up to the World Cup. To your surprise, it was the complete opposite. Mason came to the conclusion it would be better if the two of you went separate ways.
The night you two broke up, well when he broke up with you, always replayed in your head.
-
“I think we should break up,” Mason started to say, showing no emotion on his face whatsoever.
“What?” you definitely wasn’t expecting this.
He had planned a a nice romantic evening or so you thought. The dinner table was elegantly decorated, with rose petals and candles around the table, with two glasses of wine, which you dismissed because you didn’t feel like drinking.
You thought the best of things, thinking that he’d apologise for his behaviour these last couple of weeks. Instead he did all this to break up with you.
“I want you to know don’t think I don’t love you because I do, it’s just the things that’s happening this season, I can’t love you the same when I’m feeling like shit.”
“You’re having one bad season and you’re throwing me out of your life?!” You asked confusedly and annoyed. “You’ve had problems before but this was never the solution!”
“Y/N you don’t understand. This is my life, I have to try and help and the tea-”
“This is not your life!!” You snapped. “It’s what you do for a living, big difference Mason.”
‘It is now okay?! Everything else seems like a distraction!”
“I’m a distraction? Your girlfriend who has been trying to help you for weeks is a fucking distraction? Are you fucking kidding me?” That hurt. It hurt how little to no appreciation he showed for your effort. The tears that you tried to hold in just fell. Maybe it could’ve been from sadness but now you were just mad.
Mad at him.
“Baby,” he sighed trying to ease the tension. Both of you had arguements before but it was never like this. He’s now thinking of throwing the years you had together, which you thought of convincing him to not to do this but it was useless and once he makes his mind up there’s no going back.
“You have no right to call me that anymore. You’ve clearly made up your mind.” You snapped.
“I’m sorry, okay. I didn’t word that right. But you need to understand me.”
“Understand what? That your job is more important than me and everything else in your life? That all the things I’ve done for you in the past meant nothing? Our relationship was for nothing? And that I mean nothing to you?!” You managed to say In between your sobs that you have been keeping in for too long, and this was your thirteenth reason.
You couldn’t hold it in anymore.
Mason stepped closer to you and tried to hug you which you refused at first, but you always found yourself giving in, in the end. This could be your last hug ever so you wanted to treasure it. Wanted to get close to him. Wanted to smell his aftershave that was lingering on his clothes. Wanted him to run his hands up and down your back for comfort.
All for the last time.
You could feel his tears dropping on your shoulder. This couldn’t have been easy for him too. Although you know he’s doing wrong but you also know the past year hasn’t been the best for him and no matter how much this is hurting you, you also know he’s hurting too. “I’m so sorry, my love. I know you think this is easy to do but i promise you it’s not. I love you so much and if it’s meant to be I’m sure we’ll find our ways back to each other soon.” He pulled away from the hug and held the sides of your face, planting a kiss on your forehead. His lips lingering on your forehead a lot longer than anticipated which relaxed your mind for a second.
“I’m going to go gather my things and go.” You sniffled.
Mason just nodded in response and let you get to it. You go into your shared bedroom, where you gathered most of your things, one thing that made you break down instantly was your scrapbook you made for his 21st birthday. It was his first birthday you celebrated with him and it was special too, so you wanted to make it memorable. You flicked through the book where you come across the first page which was the first picture you took together, him positioned behind you, his head buried in your neck while you looked so happy. The happiest you’ve been in a long while, you forgot what that felt like.
This book was meant to be what you show your future children, but you didn’t get that far ahead. You hesitated in whether to take it or leave it with him. However you decided to take it with you as you felt like he wouldn’t look back at it.
Once you finally got your things together, you looked back at your shared room which was now Mason’s for one last time. The good times you had in there would be looked back at for sure, at least for you anyways.
Mason who was waiting for you to be done was on the sofa, his head in between in his hands. When he saw you were coming out of the room he offered to help with your luggage but you refused.
“You can stay here for a little while once you get sorted out if you want?” Mason mumbled.
“I think it’s too late for that Mase. Thank you though.” You said as you walked to the front door and remembered that his front door key was in your bag which you handed to him. There was a keyring with the photo of the two of you on there. You walked towards the door until you heard Mason speak again.
“Y/n wait a second,” you looked back at him, hoping he would say this is a mistake and he wants to start fresh with you but was that the case? Nope. “Where are you going to go? It’s late. I don’t want you wondering about at this time of night.” He asked genuinely worried for you.
But you couldn’t help but answer coldly as this wasn’t his problem anymore. You weren’t his problem anymore. “You have no right to worry about that anymore. You start your life from scratch and forget what I ever meant to you. If I ever did mean anything to you. Good luck with the future, Mase.” You choked out.
Quickly, you got out of the door but you weren’t sure how much more you could hold your tears in for. Opening the boot to put all of your things in the back before you got into the drivers seat and drove away from his house for the last time.
There was tears streaming down your face the entire journey, luckily you still had your own flat that you didn’t end up getting rid of, but it’s been a while since you been in there so it will be weird at first but you’ll have to get used to it. After all this was your life from now on.
During your journey to your now new (old) home, you looked back on all the positives that your relationship had. For example; when he took you away just because he felt like it that was also when he said ‘I love you’ for the first time and you were wondering what you did to deserve this man. Now you were wondering what you did to deserve the situation he put you in.
‘Where in the relationship did we go wrong?’ You thought. You always thought you made him happy. But clearly not if he felt like he needed to chuck you out of his life like that. You clearly weren’t as important to him as you thought you were.
When you got to your old flat, as soon as you walked through the door, it’s like you were almost looking for a feeling of home come to you. But that wasn’t the problem. The problem was that it was Mason who made it feel like home. And now you had to live without him.
You had started talking to Mason in the most weird ways ever, you were going through so much at the time so him coming into your life during the most hardest times of your life you would describe it as was truly a blessing in disguise.
Let’s recap to that day..
-
It was one of those days.
One where you felt like God was never on your side, trying to understand what you did to deserve the last few days of chaos you’ve had.
Eyes closed. Trying to remain calm, steadying your mind and the pace of your breathing.
It had been a long day. You had just come back from the hospital 45 mins ago. No that wasn't your job, your mum had been admitted to hospital after having a traumatic car crash as you'd call it.
On Saturday night she was on the way back from dinner with her friends, until a drunk driver crashed into her and she remained unconscious up until Tuesday morning for a few minutes and remained unconscious again.
When you first got a call from the hospital your first instant reaction was shock and denial because as far as you'd known your mum was all about being a safe driver and she was always scolding you to drive safe. It hadn't settled in until you had seen her. All your emotions started crashing down at once.
You felt a bit helpless and guilty by not being able to do anything to help her, and you were losing hope slowly but deep inside you, you knew your mum will power through this, she's a strong woman after all. After having to raise 6 children when your father left you at a young age deciding that he wanted nothing to do with you, if she could go through that alone, you had hope that she'd get through this.
You couldn't help but feel alone. All your siblings were in their own little bubble and you didn't want to disturb them and you know that they wouldn't care because all of you were all so close but you couldn't help feel like you were burdening them.
All of you were equally upset, each one of them had their own distraction to help not think about this, but you had taken days off to visit your mum during hospital hours and just pour you heart out even though she hadn't had her eyes open you knew she could hear you.
Days prior to this, you had been struggling with your emotions already.
You had given your notice in for work because the environment was becoming so toxic and this guy at work would non stop harassing you until you couldn't take it anymore, mentally it was taking a toll on your mental health. Your ex had gotten back into contact with you repeatedly changing numbers, making different social media accounts to contact you, after numerously blocking him.
Overall you felt like crap, you didn't want to tell your friends about this because you felt like you were asking for sympathy when you didn't want that and you felt like they were all happy within their lives and you didn't want to burst that with your sad feelings.
So you just put a fake smile on your face which was believable to people, and when you were alone tears wouldn't stop flowing.
You hated yourself for not being strong enough.
The peace and quietness lasted about 2 minutes before a message came through your phone. You instantly thought it was someone from the hospital updating you about your mum but this message had confused you even further
Anna?
You most definitely weren't Anna and you most certainly didn't have a date today.
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(Imagine you can see the face. Thank you😌)
It was like an addiction messaging each other, you just couldn’t stop. It was flirty banter most of time, he arranged for you to first meet him at a small cafè because he was eager to see you, and this meeting made you feel something for him, even more than you did.
The next meeting you decided to count it as a date, and ever since then you didn’t look back.
He was seriously a blessing in disguise. Your mum was getting better, you got a new job and you couldn’t be more happier that everything finally was starting to fall into place.
-
Over the months since your breakup you tried to forgive and forget; Forgive because he genuinely did have a lot going on and you also knew his passion for football and maybe you just need to find your way back to each other once the time is right. Forgetting about him and what he meant to you was the hardest thing to do.
It’s been five months now since your breakup and not a day goes by without thinking about him. You just had to remind yourself that he’s probably not thinking about you anymore and he’s probably moved on and as much you wanted him to tell you that he wanted you back probably wasn’t the case. Which hurt you deeply thinking about it but if that’s what helps you to move on then so be it.
The first month was incredibly difficult for you, wanting to text him every hour of the day to try and work things out, even though he ended it you wanted him to fight for you, you once thought you meant the whole world to him, and now acted like you were strangers.
His friends had found out about the break up and checked in on you to see how you were doing. They didn’t see it coming, especially Ben, he thought he was head over heels for you and he was always going on about how perfect his relationship is. Ben insisted on talking some sense into him but you refused, not wanting to force his way back to you, you’d much rather him come back to you when he was ready.
Whenever that was.
At this point you were starting to think that it would only happen in your dreams.
You felt a like crap and thought you were being over dramatic, thinking that Mason’s probably isn’t doing the same and moping over this, so over the next two months you tried pushing him out of your mind and start focusing on your mental health and yourself, getting your self love back.
Saffie, Libby and Imogen, who had been your support system since helped you through it and you couldn’t be more grateful. They also were shocked about the break up but as of right now you didn’t care. You had come to terms with that it wasn’t meant to be and you tried convincing yourself that you were fine with it.
When you moved in with Mason, it was difficult to see them, as they lived out of town and at the time things were just getting hectic that you didn’t have the time, even though you hadn’t seen each other for a while you had still kept each other updated on every little detail.
Tonight, you were going on a night out with your girls. It had been a while since you had a girls night and you couldn’t wait because you had missed your girls.
“Cheers!! I want to make a toast to Y/N. I want you to know that you’re the most strongest person I know and you don’t need no mannn that makes you feel like shit!!” Libby screamed through the loud music that was playing at the club, and you all took a sip of your cocktails. You promised to yourself and the girls that wouldn’t cry tonight and so far you were failing but you decided to blink the tears away and have the time of your life with your besties. It’s the least you deserved.
-
You don’t know how you got here but you’re not complaining.
You barely make it inside the house. As soon as you both are nside, you’re kissing, making out against the front door. Pushing him back, desperately wanting more, trying to suck every last drop out of the love that is still left.
You’ve missed him. Missed him so much.
“We shouldn’t do this,” Mason pants, pulling away, framing your face with his hands, and you nod.
“No, but it feels good, doesn’t it?” You say with a grin, that’s all your willpower gone out of the window.
Mason grins at you. Just like he used to; it’s just like it used to be.
“Fuck yes. Let’s go upstairs.”
You knows this will only hurt you in the morning but you can’t resist, you’ve missed him, missed how he feels, how he tastes. And all that matters right now is that your legs are wrapped around Mason’s waist and the way he groans when you push yourself into him.
Fuck, it feels good.
It’s not a long, drawn out fuck, no changing positions, no words. It’s not hasty either, but it’s desperate, both of them fighting for the perfect angle, chasing their release, needing it.
Still, it’s loving. The way Mason’s hand is in the exact right spot on your back, the way they kiss, breathlessly moaning into each others mouths. And the way they lock eyes, reading each other’s faces.
They’ve done this many times - spent so many nights entangled, making each other moan and pleasuring themselves. They know this, every part of it is familiar.
It happens too quickly, but you wouldn’t have the strength to prolong it anyways. It’s too much, there is not a single clear thought in your head as you kiss Mason through his climax.
“It will hurt more tomorrow,” Mason whispers when you pull him closer under the blanket. You know he’s not just talking about you aching. His tone is soft, laced with a shadow of a sorry, his hand gently stroking your arm, the gesture putting you to sleep.
-
When you woke up it was around four AM you weren’t surprised to find yourself sleeping next to someone but you couldn’t pinpoint on who it was as you were too drunk and didn’t remember a single thing about your one night stand as you rarely have them, silently cursing yourself for drinking too much.
This room seemed familiar to you though, you don’t know if your mind was playing tricks on you or if it was actually familiar to you. That was until the person next to you turned to face you, still asleep and you were met with none other than Mason.
You shot up at the exact second, accidentally waking up Mason doing so. “Y/N, what’s wrong? Let’s get back to sleep yeah?” Mason says in a sleepy voice but you were still in a state of shock of how this happened, you were about to reply until you turned around to face him to see him asleep again.
How did you let this happen.
You went downstairs to compose yourself with a glass of water and watched your reflection on his window.
‘You stupid idiot. Why did you do this to yourself?’ You thought. The more you thought about everything that had happened last night, how much you missed him touching you, kissing you, tears were forming because it just wasn’t fair that he was making you feel like this.
In the middle of your thoughts, Mason entered the kitchen. He wrapped his arms around your waist, buried his face in your neck, kissing it repeatedly. “Baby, why are you here? It’s 4am,” he whispered in your ear. You were just staring blankly outside at his patio, tears threatening to fall. Your lip started wobbling.
How could you be so dumb? He starts seducing you whilst drunk and it worked so easily he had you right where he wanted. You were never that girl to have one night stands, but this one felt like one because you knew what Mason’s decision was.
“Listen, you were drunk. We both had a little too much to drink. I saw you in the club alone, I don’t know where your friends were and you looked like you had a little too much to drink. I offered to take you home but you mentioned you left your keys with Imogen because you know how clumsy you can be and lose them. So I took you back to mine and I don’t know how it happened but there was sexual tension in the air and we both started kissing and one thing led to another, but I want you to know it doesn’t mean anything to me.” Mason said so confidently.
You needed a moment to hear the last sentence alone, but you wanted him to think that were coping well without him because he had moved on and somehow you needed to do the same, but after last night it’s become hard again. It’s like having sex with him has brought your feelings back again but it doesn’t matter because he doesn’t feel the same about you anymore, even though when you broke up he told you that he’ll always love you. You guessed that was lie.
You wanted it to mean something to him, you wanted him to ask for you back. You wanted him to fight for you.
Which will only happen in your dreams by the looks of it.
You wondered if he ever loved you? Now you just believed what your negative thoughts were telling you.
“I’m going to get my stuff and leave,” you said with a lump in your throat and glossy eyes.
Mason saw the expression on your face and was the sick of the sad expression you had on your face and he snapped, “Okay. Don’t expect me to stop you then. I have moved on.”
It’s like this was a different man in front of you, you don’t remember getting to know this guy, you don’t remember falling in love with him. The Mason you remember falling in love with wouldn’t let you go without a fight. You weren’t going to let him treat you like this so you snapped back. “Yeah because you sleeping with me last night really tells me that you’ve moved on doesn’t it?” You rolled your eyes.
“It was a mistake! I told you, I was drunk, you were drunk, one thing led to another and it’s a regret of mine now letting you think that you’ll ever get close to me again. Maybe, just maybe if you weren’t so needy all the damn time we could’ve given this a second chance.” Mason frustratedly said, with what he said, sounded like you hurt him, when he was the one to break up with you. It just didn’t make any sense to you.
You wished he hadn’t pushed you away. You pushed past Mason to get your things, not wanting to stay here a minute longer.
Mason stayed quiet, knowing what he said was wrong but in the heat of the moment it just came out. Once you came out of his room and got your things ready, you walked out his front door whilst he watched you leave.
-
It had been two nights since that night you encounter with Mason, you started thinking outside of box and tried moving on as he had, it was lot harder than you thought it would be. Maybe because the Mason you saw two nights ago was a completely different person in front of you.
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Maybe if you went on a few dates it would help? You thought.
You never did see yourself separating from Mason, but that’s how things currently were and you had to accept that. You decided to scroll on Twitter for bit and what first came up on suggested posts surprised you a little because you weren’t expecting that when you opened the app.
To say you were more than hurt to see how he’s moved on quickly, but also you were convinced that the paparazzi make things worse from what they were. You experienced it when you were with Mason, so part of you were hoping that this girl pictured with him was just a friend but looking at the picture it was telling you something else.
You know it has been more than a few months that you’ve broken up now but a part of you wasn’t ready to let go. But you always promised yourself that if you saw Mason happy with another person you would be happy for him no matter how much it hurt you inside and you weren’t going to ruin his happiness.
That’s if this article was true.
Now you needed to move on because it seemed like Mason wasn’t going to come back to you by the looks of things and you need to accept that.
-
Mason didn’t know how to feel when the paparazzi photos came out, first of all the pictures were completely misleading to what they actually were.
He wasn’t on a date.
The only thing he was doing was playing Cupid, and setting this girl up with his mate, Ben. When Mason spotted Y/N on a night out with her friends, he was with Ben and a few of his other friends. This girl caught Ben’s attention but he was too much of a scaredy cat to go up to her. He thought he missed his chance.
That was until, the girl, Chloe, reached out to Mason on DMs and asked if they could meet to talk things through. He knew Ben wouldn’t dare to ask her outright, so they planned to call it a ‘blind date’ because Chloe actually had her eyes on Ben and it turns out that when she was about to go up to him that night he had disappeared, she couldn’t find him but she also knew Mason was good friends with Ben so she’s shooting her shot the long way.
Mason still deeply loved Y/N, he only said he moved on because he wanted Y/N think he’s doing okay without her. He really doesn’t know why he started pushing her away, and he regrets it because all he wanted know is Y/N between his arms. He would do everything for their relationship to be normal again, but instead he had to fuck it up.
Mason won’t be stupid enough to lose you again at any given chance. He was already stupid enough to know what life was like without you and he’s not risking that again.
He knew he needed to fix this.
taglist: @chilwellspulisic
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wosoluver · 23 days
Text
To undo a mistake
part 1/17 - next
- requested! - Lena x Bayern player!Reader
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"We can still be friends! We can still share the room at camp!" - She said trying to cheer me up.
Of course she would.
it's Lena we're talking about. But it didn't do much for the heartache I felt.
Despite only being together for a couple months, I was so sure of this. So sure we were in for the long run.
We both liked each other very much, but soon realized that living in different cities caused more trouble than you two anticipated.
She played for Wolfsburg and you played for Bayern.
But unlike your girlfriend, now ex, you didn't think that the distance was the biggest problem.
Her not wanting to try harder was.
So here you were in tears in your apartment, talking to her in bed... over the phone.
Yes. Breaking up in the worst way possible. You'd think that out of consideration she would've done it in person.
"Lena, I'm going to hang up now."
"Yeah. Okay. I'm really sorry Y/N."
It had been tough the next couple months, specially when Wolfsburg vs Bayern came up.
It was the end of the first half. You tried your best to keep it to yourself. It was 1 x 0 to your team. Avoided her well enough. Being a forward helped. She spent most part of the game busy with trying to assist or making sure to get the ball through the middle field. When you hear the sound of the referee blowing the whistle, you bolted towards the locker room. Unbeknownst to you Lena tried to catch up, so you two could chat. But seeing this, Pernille was quick to stop her in her tracks. The girls had taken a notice of your change of mood. Even though you hadn't opened up to anyone about it, they knew it most likely had to do with your now ex- girlfriend. They had grown protective of you. You were young, just turned 20. And you were about to complete your first season for Bayern.
Back to the second half, you couldn't keep your head in the pitch. You weren't doing a good game. So you weren't surprised when you were subbed off at the 65' minute. Even when they usually only started subbing later on. Guess it was that bad.
You'd won 3x0. But honestly everything lately felt like a loss somehow.
By the final whistle, you just wanted the day to get over with. The game was away, so you made an effort along with other players, to thank the fans that came to support the team.
But you froze in your steps when you saw something that if your heart wasn't already broken in a hundred pieces, it would definitely be now...
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Hope you guys are excited for this one!
Thank you for the anon who sent in the lovely request! I didn't answer the ask with the story, bc I didn't want to give away the next steps. Still need your help though!
Please leave your comments 🙏🩷
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bratbby333 · 2 months
Text
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the jjk men + ur birthday
‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾
blurb/brain dump
fluff version/sfw,, smutty version coming next
feat: gojo, geto, nanami, megumi, toji, yuuji
author notes: this idea 100% came abt bc my birthday’s in two weeks n i can’t help but gift this to myself
-gojo
Satoru is 1000% the type to over do it in the most endearing way possible. The celebration of you starts a week before your actual birthday. Stuffies, balloons, cupcakes, a lengthy, heartfelt card spilling his guts to you about how much you’ve changed his life. He’s even the type to book an expensive getaway for just the two of you after throwing you a surprise dinner party with all your friends.
“Your bags already packed. We leave for the airport in an hour” he says, brimming with joy.
He teases you about getting older, and you joyfully get to remind him that at least you’re still younger than him ((he pouts and huffs at this, of course)).
-geto
A deeply romantic man. Showering you in kind words and lingering touches of affection.
Suguru’s deeply intuitive and is most definitely the type of boyfriend to gather things you say you like throughout the year and secretly compile them in a basket to present to you on your birthday. He’s so sneaky with it that you have no idea it’s coming even though you two live together (where tf did he hide it??).
He’s so thoughtful and giving, it’s no surprise that he treats you extra special on your birthday. A bouquet of your favorite flowers, a reservation at your favorite restaurant, tickets to a movie you’ve been dying to see, walks in the park (stopping at your favorite café on the way there). He is just so deeply enamored by you and wants nothing more than to see your face light up when doing the things you love.
-nanami
Stoic and serious Nanami worships you each and every day. You opened his heart in ways he didn’t know existed, so he can’t help but reward you any chance he gets. You didn’t think he could ever out do himself, but each time your birthday comes around you are proven wrong.
Hefty bouquets of your favorite flowers adorn your kitchen, living room, and bedroom, different handwritten cards sitting against the various flower vases. For a man of such well thought out and analytically chosen words, he sure finds as many as he can to describe to you in detail how much you mean to him and how much he loves you.
He makes reservations at your favorite restaurant and takes you shopping to find an outfit for your dinner date, amongst other things-jewelry, bags, shoes, etc. He just absolutely spoils you.
-megumi
Even after a year of being together, Megumi still struggles to put his big feelings into the right words. He’d rather show you through acts of service than to say it directly to you. And you appreciate each and every thing he does for you.
The week leading up to your birthday, he takes over all the maintenance around the house; cooking for you every night, doing all the laundry, etc.
“I don’t want you to lift a finger leading up to your special day”
He takes you to get your hair done, your nails done, shopping…any sort of self care services that you want. He just loves being around you, even if a lot of the times, he may not be able to find the right words to say (you’re the only person he enjoys being around for extended periods of time) and he wants you to feel loved and pampered and beautiful on your birthday, even more so than you already are to him.
He cherishes the way you love him, and the man you’re turning him into, even if it scares him a little.
-toji
Violently nonchalant and seemingly uninterested in most people (I see where Meg gets it from), that part of Toji’s personality does a 180 when he’s around you.
Even though he hates being away from you, Toji takes on extra assignments in the weeks leading up to your birthday so he can make sure that he pampers you like there’s no tomorrow. You are not paying for a thing when he takes you out to celebrate your day.
And even though your celebration wasn’t as extravagant as it couldve been, you know the real party happens in the bedroom. Awoooga.
-yuuji
“Y/N!! Look what I got you!!” Yuuji grins wide.
“Happy birthday to the most amazing girlfriend ever!!” He beams, outstretched arms presenting you with three boxes in various sizes, wrapped neatly in birthday-esq wrapping paper (nobara must’ve helped with the wrap job).
Your eyes light up, giggling before looking at him.
“Yuuji, I appreciate and love you so very much. But, you do know my birthday is actually tomorrow, right?”
“Yes..duh! But I couldn’t wait. There’s more coming tomorrow, too!!” He replies, seemly more excited for your birthday than you are. Your heart melts at his never ending supply of enthusiasm.
He hugs you tightly and peppers your face with kisses.
The two of you spend the night before your birthday in the house, ordering food and binge watching movies until the sun comes up. And of course he has to be the first one to wish you an official happy birthday, right at midnight.
© bratbby333 on tumblr. all rights reserved. please do not distribute. 2024.
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possamble · 6 days
Note
Do you have any headcanons or thoughts about Falin having a crush on Marcille pre-canon? Especially during her later years at the school/the years she was with Laios.
Just full on "awkward and slightly gnc teenage lesbian has a massive crush on the touchy-feely girly girl straight best friend" tropes everywhere. Even better bc it's the "best friend is also the popular girl while lesbian is the slightly ostracized quiet one" dynamic in school. Falin gets so so so good at not having a heart attack every time Marcille gets in her personal space. But she's so resigned to never saying anything bc why would a girl as blinding as Marcille ever like her back. She also doesn't make an effort to get over it either, she's just content to be trapped in that stable dynamic of silently being in love with Marcille while getting to enjoy CLEARLY being Marcille's favourite person. She gets so used to it that it's almost just background noise most of the time-- it would have to be, unless she wanted to be freaking out 24/7 bc Marcille is so goddamn affectionate.
Her feelings also definitely change throughout the time that they're in school together-- at first it was this "whooaaah pretty older girl" puppy crush that you can clearly see developing in the flashbacks we get (I think she doesn't even like... realize her fixation on Marcille is romantic at all until years after it starts, when she's 12-14 ish and all the other girls around her are talking about crushes). But then they get closer, over the years Marcille starts getting really attached and letting down her guard, and Falin gets to see the ridiculous side of her. She gets to calm her down from her tantrums when experiments don't work out, or help her clean up when something explodes in her face. I feel like the progression of her feelings from "schoolgirl infatuation" to "unrequited love" probably almost exactly corresponds to how slowly Marcille goes from trying to keep Falin at a polite but friendly distance (like she does with everyone else) to her facade completely eroding as she becomes her cheerful and ridiculous self again for the first time since her father died.
That's probably the saddest part: Falin knows that she's clearly Marcille's favourite person on the surface level, but she doesn't quite fully grasp the enormity of what that means to Marcille. She doesn't get that she's the person who made the world colorful again for Marcille, that she is the first person outside of Marcille's family to really and truly make her laugh. She just thinks she's the beloved but dinky little short-lived sidekick, one of many that Marcille has had and will have.
Part of it is that, despite Marcille becoming such a clingy and affectionate best friend, I think her initial demeanour already did its damage. You see Falin being super adventurous and weird at first, bringing Marcille berries and other stuff, only to be rebuffed by Marcille exasperatedly saying she's working or looking kind of put off by it. And by the time you see her a little older, shes already quieter and better at masking -- and I'm not saying that that's entirely Marcille's fault (being the weird girl at an all girls academy for almost the entirety of her teenhood must have been brutal, my god) but she definitely learned that she's a potential nuisance to Marcille if she doesn't tone herself down. She learned that Marcille most likely sees her as a weird little kid following her around bc she has no other friends. And for the most part, she was never given any reason to unlearn any of that.
And that all very very smoothly transitions into Marcille being her "first love that was never meant to be anyway" when she leaves the academy. Chapter closed in her mind: she loved and pined from a distance and that was that. Every now and then she'll see another woman with Marcille's build or her shade of hair and be like ":( I miss her..." But then just kinda move on with her day. Same with when she's going through her own spellbook and finds a note that Marcille left her/correction that she made-- she'll smile fondly and reminisce about how much Marcille doted on her, and then move on.
Sometimes she thinks about contacting Marcille but convinces herself that it's too late (she spent too many months focusing on getting Laios healthy again and didn't mean to go no contact, but ah well). It's only when she has a practical reason to be reaching out that would also benefit Marcille ("Marcille is studying dungeons and we need a trustworthy mage to go with us to the dungeons") that she feels like she's allowed/that it wouldn't just be 100% a nuisance.
I almost think she didn't expect Marcille to reply at all, only to get a telegraph (or some in-universe equivalent of express mail, maybe magical pigeon carrier) that's like. EN ROUTE TO ISLAND. LETTER TO FOLLOW. and she freaks out like AAAA LAIOS SHE SAID YES WE HAVE TO CLEAN UP NOW.
I do think getting a response accidentally sparks a little hope in her, judging by the way she acts in the chp 57 flashback-- she's pouty that Marcille sees her as a kid, gets really worked up about being presentable, and then tries to play it cool when she actually meets Marcille (as if she didn't freak out and force Laios to shave while rambling a mile a minute about Marcille). She's an adult now, really and truly, and she's seen and survived things that her 18 yr old self would have never even imagined-- then all of a sudden, the person she was in love with since she was ten years old appears, and she's so desperate to be seen as mature and competent. She's trying soooo hard to impress Marcille with her newfound combat and dungeoneering experience...
Only to fall right back into their old dynamic. RIP. At least she gets the girl eventually, even if it takes dying twice and being the core catalyst behind an almost-apocalypse.
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golden-cherry · 9 months
Text
deal - cl16 (9/?)
Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader
Series Summary: Your whole life has gone to shit. Your boyfriend broke up with you, you just lost your job and the Monegasque, who suddenly stands in your doorway, claims that it’s his apartment.
Chapter Summary: Finding an outfit is harder that it seams. Especially when your roommate can't really help you, because he's at his other apartment.
Warnings: fluff, angst (whoops), mentions of cheating (not Charles), mentions of smut (oral, fingering, p in v), angry Charles, text messages
Word Count: 3.6k
series masterlist
previous part
A/N: here it is friends. did my absolute best and honestly, I'm sweating so hard. I chose the name for Charles ex bc it’s the name of the girl my best friend absolutely despises. and this is not a Charlotte hate acc. hope you like it still. feedback is appreciated!
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The weather app on your phone is of relatively little help. 
Charles had said that you were going out to dinner around eight o'clock in the evening, and according to the app, it should still be fifteen degrees then, even though it's December. While he had said that "it doesn't matter what you wear," but if you were going to be spending more time with him soon, and by extension his friends, you would want to make a good first impression. 
Not that your first impression on Charles was particularly good. 
Since you promised Charles that he could sleep in his bed tonight, you try to keep the mess of clothes to a minimum. Instead of pulling each piece of clothing out of the closet and then tossing it into the nearest corner because it doesn't match what you had in mind, you put things neatly folded back in their place. 
After your roommate left the apartment, you started cleaning up your room so it wouldn't be too embarrassing if Charles stayed there tonight. After all, he doesn't need to see your underwear or the little stuffed animal turtle that sleeps in bed with you. Generally things that maybe old friends know about you, but definitely not the roommate you've been living with for two days.
The roommate who is no help to you when it comes to choosing clothes for tonight. Since he hasn't told you which restaurant it is, you don't know exactly what the dress code looks like, which is why you're now standing in front of the closet at a loss. 
In Monaco, when it comes to restaurant choice, anything is possible. You could dine at Le Louis XV, the most expensive restaurant in Monte-Carlo, or Jack Monaco, which is significantly cheaper, but you have a direct view of the harbor with the oversized and expensive yachts.
Secretly, you hope it won't be too expensive tonight. Joris would pay you back the rent soon, but you're still unemployed and unfortunately can't live quite as carefree Charles, who apparently has enough money at his disposal to have not one, but two apartments in Monaco. 
A fact that you would never blame him for. 
When you can't find anything that would theoretically go with any restaurant visit, you drop onto the bed, annoyed. It can't be that hard to find something, right? You fish your cell phone out of the pocket of your sweater and start typing. 
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Briefly, you consider actually sending the message, but alas, you're so desperate that you feel you have no choice. You hit send and are about to throw the phone across the room as if you've just confessed to your school crush that you like him. 
But Charles isn't your school crush. He's your roommate and first and foremost your friend, which is why you just drop the phone on the bed next to you. 
You sit up and narrow your eyes as you go through the clothes in the open closet. Somewhere in there is a pair of dark gray, straight-cut jeans that match the white blouse you carefully hung back on the hanger a few minutes ago. 
And sure enough. After a few minutes of rummaging around in the clothes, you find the jeans and as you hold them up next to the blouse, you're relatively pleased with the choice. There should also be shoes floating around somewhere that should go with them. But at least this is a good start. 
Satisfied, you clean up the rest of the room. Since Charles has not invited you to dinner, but also to a club, you will certainly be home late, so you decide to make up Charles' bed. Your bedding disappears into the hall closet after you take Charles' things out. As you bring them into the bedroom and spread them out on the bed, you find yourself briefly considering pressing your face into the pillow. For sure, Charles smells attached to it. 
But before you can do that, your cell phone vibrates. It's a message from Charles. 
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Your heart skips a beat. Do friends give each other compliments like that? You glance from your phone to Charles' pillow, then to your outfit for tonight. You bite the inside of your cheek and start typing. 
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You plug your phone into the charging cord as you head toward the bathroom to shower and get ready for the evening, so you don't see the two messages Charles sends you.
-
The Ferrari feels different somehow. After Charles sat in your old Renault yesterday, the expensive Ferrari feels strange under him. Not wrong, but different. Like something is missing. 
He feels the stares on him as he steers the car through the streets of Monaco. The gray Ferrari attracts attention, with its red and white stripes and the number 16 on the side. But not just because the 488 Pista Spider is a beautiful car. 
But because people know who owns the car.
The fact that you don't know that Charles is the Charles Leclerc is refreshing for him, but the guilty conscience gnaws at him. He should tell you that he drives in Formula 1, because after all, you would be dragged into the limelight by him, should people find out that you are friends and, above all, that you live together. Before that happens, he should at least give you the opportunity to get out of it. 
But Charles is too selfish for that. 
Even though you've only known each other for a short time, Charles enjoys your company too much to mess it up. You're so normal, so kind, without asking for anything in return like most want him to do. You're just you. And by God, he's never felt better than in his short time with you. 
He expertly steers the Ferrari into a parking garage entrance, where he has to type a pin into the designated keypad next to him before the barrier. The barrier opens so that he can drive a few meters further, where a metal gate awaits him, where he also has to enter a pin - a different one. Only then does he reach the parking lot that rightfully belongs to him. 
It has been some time since he has been here. After driving the last race of the season in Abu Dhabi about three weeks ago and becoming vice world champion, he had stayed on site for a short time to soak up some sun and recover from the stress before flying back to Maranello with his team for a final briefing and to discuss the upcoming season. But even that only lasted a few days. He could have been back in Monaco by now. 
But he didn't want to. 
He knew exactly what was waiting for him here. A conversation he wanted to delay as long as possible. He didn't stay away from Monaco for so long for no reason, and he wondered if he hadn't returned too soon. But he can't, first, avoid this conversation, and second, stay away from his home. He loves it here too much for that. Just like other things he'd rather not think about right now. 
In the elevator, he puts his key in the designated hole and then presses the button with the number of the floor where his apartment is located. Just a few weeks ago, he thought that if he entered this building again, his heart would be beating wildly in his chest or his palms would be sweaty, but he is not even nervous. 
He knows what's waiting for him behind the elevator door. And he's ready to wrap things up.
Charles enters the apartment as he has thousands of times before. And just like hundreds of times before, he hears the sound of footsteps on the floor moving quickly in his direction. But never before has he felt this indifference to those footsteps. 
"Charles?" A woman comes out of the room where the living room is located and rushes toward him with her arms outstretched. When she reaches him, she wraps her arms around his torso to hold him close, but Charles puts his hands on her shoulders and gently but firmly pushes her away. "Charles, I'm so sorry. What I did is inexcusable and I will-"
"'You won't do anything,'" he interrupts her, wishing he could jump in the shower to wash her touch off him. "I'm just here to get some things. And to ask you to stop calling." He walks past her down the hall and into the room where his clothes are. 
"And I told you I would do everything I could to make this right between us," the woman says as she follows him. She places herself in the doorway with her arms crossed as he packs some of his clothes into a large gym bag. "I'm not ready to give up on us yet, Charles. I love you."
Charles can't stop the laughter that escapes him. After stuffing several pairs of socks into his side pocket, he turns to her and puts a hand on his hip. "You gave us up when you fucked that guy, Annika. And dare you to talk about love. You don't even know what that is."
As his phone vibrates in his pocket, he fishes it out. A message from Y/N. He doesn't even notice that a small smile creeps onto his face at that. 
But she does. "Who's that? Do you have a new one already?" 
Charles quickly types a reply and presses send before turning back to his clothes. "No," he says coldly. "And even if it were, it wouldn't be any of your business."
"Of course it's my business!" Annika almost screeches as she takes a few steps toward him. "I'm your girlfriend, after all!"
"You," Charles zips up the bag and stands in front of her, "are the absolute last person I want anything to do with." He pushes past her into the hallway, where he drops the bag on the floor to go into the bedroom, where some odds and ends are waiting for him to take as well.
Annika follows him like a dog follows its master. "And why do you let me stay here then?"
"Because I'm nice."
"You're not that nice. We both know that."
Charles looks at the picture frames sitting on the windowsill. Among them is a picture of him and his father when Charles was little and went karting. It's a fond memory that he certainly doesn't want to leave here with her. "I've changed."
In disbelief, Annika laughs. "Never. In the two years we were together, I asked you so many times for things that should have been natural for a relationship, but what came from you? Nothing." Now it's her turn to put her hands on her hips. "You're so focused on your job that you don't notice what's going on around you! If you had paid more attention to me, then-"
"Then what? Then you wouldn't have slept with that idiot? Then we would have been happy forever? Peace and happiness?" Charles takes some pictures out of the frames and carefully lays them on top of each other so they don't scratch. He would leave the frames here, after all, they were gifts from Annika. And he definitely doesn't want to keep them. "Grow up, Annika. You knew what you were getting into from the start."
"But not that I have to share you with the whole world." Slowly, she walks toward him and as she stands in front of him, she places her perfectly manicured hands against his chest. "You're all I've ever wanted, Charles. But you were never there. And even when you were there, your mind was always at work or somewhere else, but never with me."
She's not exactly wrong about that. The season had cost him quite a few nerves and he definitely hadn't been a good boyfriend, and maybe none of this would have happened if he had paid more attention to her. But that's definitely not a justification for what she did. Charles knows his worth. And that's exactly why he clasps Annika's wrists with his thumbs and forefingers to take her hands off him. 
"For not being a good boyfriend, I am truly sorry." He drops her hands. "But that's no reason to cheat. You and I are done." Charles leaves the bedroom and grabs his bag in the hallway before heading for the elevator door. 
"You're leaving? Just like that? Throwing away two years like they never happened?"
Again, his phone vibrates in his pocket. Another message from Y/N, making his heart skip a beat. He grins to himself and types a response that, under different circumstances, he might have thought twice about. But the quicker he replies, the quicker he's out of this place and back to you. 
"I'm not throwing it away, you already did." Charles puts his phone back in his pocket and presses the button to make the elevator come. "I'm letting you stay here because I know how bad I've been to you and that this year hasn't been so easy for you either. But if I need this place one day, for whatever reason, you're out of here. And I don't care where you end up. Find someplace to live. Move back in with your parents. But this," he points to the space between you, "is over. Forever."
Annika runs a hand through her hair, then crosses her arms in front of her chest. "Then I hope for your sake that you treat them better than you treat me."
The elevator door opens, but Charles doesn't move a bit. Instead, he looks at his ex-girlfriend, who stands before him with raised eyebrows. "Who do you mean?" 
"Do you think I'm that stupid? Or blind?" She points her finger at his pants pocket. "The person you just answered immediately."
"And what's so special about that?" he asks, confused. 
Annika takes a step toward him. "You always make everyone wait for you. You make your fans wait for good results, your friends wait for calls. You even make your mother wait for you, because I'm pretty sure she doesn't know you're home yet." Annika stops in front of him. "But whoever that is - that person has all your attention. She doesn't have to wait for you. Let me give you a hint along the way, Charlie."
"Don't call me that. And I don't need your help."
"And even if you did." Annika stretches her arm out, past him, so the elevator door doesn't close. "The fact that she doesn't have to wait for you is good. Don't make her wait for you, too. It's not fair to her. And not to you, either."
As he sits back in the Ferrari - the sports bag and pictures safely stowed in the trunk - he doesn't know what to do with himself. 
Charles made it clear to Annika that their relationship was over, and it had been overdue for at least a month. But what she said at the end stuck. 
He actually keeps everyone waiting, which is why he keeps blaming himself. He could have told his mother he was back in Monaco a long time ago, but somehow he didn't. He could have told you that he's not just Charles, but he didn't, and so he keeps you waiting for the truth that you know nothing about. 
Would you even want to be friends with him anymore if you knew who he was? Or would you want to be friends with him all the more? 
Never, he thinks to himself. That's not who you are. And he can say that even though you've only known each other for a short time. 
And even though you've only known each other for two days, you're all he can think about. He thinks about how you sat together on the grass and talked about his father. He thinks about how you cried at Cars. He thinks about how you flirted with him even though, in your opinion, it wasn't flirting (it was to him, of course; he wanted to know how to win you over for a reason). He thinks about how you told him about your ex-boyfriend and how he would love to beat him up. He thinks of you standing next to each other in the kitchen washing the dishes. 
He thinks of you standing in front of him dressed only in a towel. With bare shoulders and bare legs and that - if he would get the opportunity again - he would not hesitate to pull you into the bedroom and fuck you with his tongue, his fingers or his cock in such a way that he would ruin all other men for you.
Charles closes his eyes briefly to get the image of you on his mind, and then drives off. He would love to drive to the lookout and talk to his father about the situation, but somehow it doesn't feel right without you there. 
But he can't talk to you about it either, because it involves you, and although it would certainly be best, he doesn't have the heart to tell you the truth. Not because he doesn't trust you, but because he's afraid of losing you. 
He slaps his hand against his forehead. "Get a grip, damn it," he says to himself. The two of you haven't even touched, and he's thinking about how he'd take you on every surface in the small apartment. That's just not normal. 
And most of all, it's not fair. You confided in him about your ex-boyfriend because Charles is your friend. And your roommate. And that's what he needs to be to you. 
It wouldn't be fair for him to get into a relationship with you because one, you don't know who exactly he is, and two, he can never be what you need him to be. You need someone who is there for you, who takes time for you. Someone you can laugh and cry with. Not someone who is away most weeks of the year and can't even manage to call his own mother. 
You would always be waiting for him. And even though he doesn't want to agree with Annika, he has to. The whole thing is not fair to you. 
And so he deletes the last two messages he sent you, which you apparently haven't read yet, as he parks his Ferrari in an underground garage and walks the last few meters to your apartment. 
He decides that he is your friend. Only your friend. Because he has to be, and because he can't be anything else. Because you need a real friend, and not a relationship. 
Charles unlocks the apartment door and drops the gym bag to the floor beside him. 
"Charles?" Unlike Annika's voice, his heart starts to beat faster at yours and his palms start to sweat, so he quickly wipes them on his jeans. You come out of the bathroom dressed in dark gray jeans and a white blouse that accentuates your curves. As you stand in front of him, you turn once so he can check you out from all sides. In all his life, he's never seen anyone look so divine. "I'm sorry, I wasn't sure what to wear. I hope that's all right."
His smile is gentle and he hopes you don't notice how hard he has to swallow, and he would have loved to wrap you in his arms and never let you go. But his ex-girlfriend is still clinging to him, and before you touch each other properly for the first time, he wants her washed off.
It's not fair.
"It's okay," he says with a smile and goes to the fridge for a glass of orange juice. You stop by the apartment door next to the gym bag, but don't ask where the stuff is from. And for that, he's very grateful. "I'm just going to jump in the shower and then we can go, okay?"
He doesn't wait for your answer as he pulls new clothes out of his suitcase, walks into the bathroom, undresses, and stands under the hot stream of water. Even now, he keeps you waiting, which further solidifies his decision to keep your relationship purely platonic. While he's shampooing his hair, he makes a deal with himself that he'll do whatever it takes to make this friendship work. Even if that means suppressing his feelings. 
As he leaves the bathroom freshly showered and ready to go, you sit on the couch. He's looking at you, thinking about what Annika said, what he'd like to do with you, and all the things he could lose. And all of that just isn't fair. 
"I'm sorry you had to wait for me," he says softly, reaching for your car key that's on the dining room table. It feels better in his hand than the one from the Ferrari. So familiar. Like the key will fulfill everything he's ever wanted. 
"It's okay," you reply, getting up from the couch. You take a few steps toward him and smile at him, and his heart melts. "I'm fine with waiting."
the messages Charles deleted -
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queenofallimagines · 9 months
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Lucifer if you were a Luciferian before coming to the devildom
as a devotee I think this would be fucking hilarious bc I’ve seen people do “hail Satan” shirts but hear me out-
** a treat before part 2
Lucifer:
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- probably will not recognize you off the bat
- Like he’s like “oh ok it’s you” but it doesn’t connect that your HIS
- Like he’s under a lot of pressure right now and stress
- Is pleasantly surprised that you listen so well. Probably gets smug that you listen so obediently
- Sees his sigil on your necklace or something and then it hits him like a fucking BRICK
- Especially if he peeps you doing stuff for him out of habit
- Goes back to look at your file and is like “holy shit I’m literally your patron”
- Will bring it up to you and ask why you don’t make a big deal of it
- “I mean I was already used to living with you? This ain’t much different”
- Ngl in the beginning he would manipulate you about the stairs bc your a good little disciple you’ll do whatever your deity says right?
- But that wouldn’t work bc his first and most basic belief is fuck blind obedience and to question things when uncertain
- Honestly a “fuck I taught you so well but now your using it against me” situation
- Will ease up that you don’t have bad intentions but he’s going to protect his brothers first and foremost
- Will really keep using the line “do not forget that you belong to me” when he’s trying to intimidate you
- But your used to him dragging you to get your life together to its very ineffective
- Gets really frustrated that you already know his nitpicky strict habits because he likes punishing people and lecturing so the fact that he can’t do that to you to be petty really bothers him
- Gets kinda flustered about spending time with you because he’s so used to knowing everything about your life you getting to see him in his home feels too vulnerable for his liking
- Will ABSOLUTELY bring up embarrassing stories about you
- “Ah, remember when you were asking me to help you get a date? Because I definitely do”
- “Me and your ancestors definitely talk about your questionable taste in men”
- Please use this opportunity to be like “this you🤨” because he will have no answer
- “So what the fuck was you sending me all those 11:11 for😐 please elaborate”
- “…. I don’t know what your talking about”
- “What was the reason for you giving me that headache?”
- Will literally Triple his pride when y’all start being intimate
- You’ve given him a god complex but don’t call it that he will get an attitude
- “My most devoted worshiper letting me use them how I wish”
- Will use that as an excuse to fuck you everywhere
- Likes that you have jewelry with his sigil on it or anything you wear for him
- Feels like a collar, letting everyone know you’re his
- Pulls a mammon and calls you “My human” a lot
- Very overprotective
- Probably makes a pact with you In secret before the end of the program
- Like you guys basically already had one why not make it official??
- Especially if he reached out to you and not the other way around? Lmao yeah your definitely his
- If any of the other brothers find out they WILL moan and groan about you not working with them
- Mammon and asmo are the most vocal
- Might end up having to get stuff for them and your altar too love :/
- They will give you stuff to put up there along with a candle
- Congratulations you now are working with 7 demons and they are all very needy
- Belphie will use that as an excuse to take a nap with him all the time
- “Your doing this in devotion to me cmooooon”
- They all will use that card with you actually lmao good luck
- “Mc! Come watch this anime with me! Your doing it in worship of me so you have to😌”
- Mammon had run that excuse dry bc sir doing your homework does not count as a devotional activity 🙄😒
- Lucifer will brag that it was fate that you were brought to him
- Will also pretend that he chose you on purpose knowing damn well he didn’t 😂
- “But of course I had to choose you, I knew you were the best option.”
- You literally didn’t even look at the name on the paper 😭😭
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Text
Drunken Serenade
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pairing: joel miller x f!reader
rating: E (18+ ONLY, soft!joel, established relationship, flashback, alcohol consumption, unprotected piv, a lil dirty talk, creampie bc obvi, unedited bc i’m lazy)
word count: 2.5k
joel masterlist | joel playlist
It was no small feat holding the affection of Joel Miller. Though he often grumbled about hating how everyone was always “watchin” him in your small, second-chance town of Jackson, Wyoming, there was no escaping it.
Part of it came from being related to Tommy and Maria, the town’s founders for all intents and purposes. A larger part of it—the part that Joel hated most—no doubt came from his reputation of being ñ prolific at killing. Not many people could say they met someone that managed to survive for as long as Joel had, especially in the brutal conditions he often found himself in. To the people of Jackson, regardless if you were a fighter or a farmer, Joel Miller was a living, breathing legend.
And that’s what he was to you, too, for a while.
But now, in the dim lighting of Joel’s kitchen, Joel’s hands scrubbing the dishes after the two of you shared dinner for the 300-hundredth something time, he was just a man, a man you loved, humming softly to himself.
“Sounds pretty,” you complimented the unidentifiable tune as you slid your arms around his waist, resting your cheek against his shoulder blade as he continued to scrub. “Do I know it?”
“No,” he answered with softness, the almost-clean pan in his hand preventing him from turning around and wrapping his arms around you. “Just somethin’ m’workin’ on.”
“Will I get to hear it in full one day?” You let go of him to stand at his side, grabbing the clean dishcloth that draped on the oven handle to dry the clean dishes sitting on the rack.
“Maybe,” he gave you a flicker of a bashful smile, his hip leaning out to bump into yours. “Long as you serenade me back.”
“Oh, you want me to sing for you, huh?” You couldn’t help the chuckle that slipped from your lips at the thought of your mediocre-at-best vocal talent gracing his ears again, Joel having heard it for the very first time one year ago at the bar. Your sloppy, drunken rendition of “I Have Nothing” last Valentine’s Day earned you his attention for the very first time, an attention that thankfully never faded.
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One Year Ago — February 14th
“Let loose,” your newest (well—only, if you were being honest with yourself) friend in Jackson, Margot urged you on at the bar, sliding one of the shot’s of harsh, unrefined vodka she’d ordered towards you. “You’ve been babysitting that beer for the last hour. Come on.”
“I don’t drink,” you whined, the thought of alcohol alone enough to make you gag.
“Look, you’re single and alone on Valentine’s day in the middle of an apocalypse. There’s no better reason to drink.” You couldn’t argue with her logic, so you pinched your nose and tipped the shot glass back, the cold liquor hitting your uvula nearly forcing it right back up but you championed through it with a wince. “There ya go!”
“Jesus Christ—“ you choked on your beer as you tried to drown out the taste of the vodka still burning your throat. “You’ve had three of those! What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“I’m a masochist,” she joked with a chuckle before gasping at the sight of Tommy and Maria finishing setting up the karaoke machine on the tiny stage in the corner of the bar. “I’m signing us up.”
“Absolutely not!” You laughed as she walked up to the esteemed couple on the stage, Tommy handing her the sign-up sheet with a grin before finding you in the crowd and waving you over. You shook your head and tried to hide away, but he seemed determined.
“I can still see you!” he drawled out in his accent, Maria’s whistles finally getting you to make your way to the stage. “Here, have a look at the catalog. I’ll go get you another drink, you look like you might need some liquid courage.”
“Definitely.”
A few shots later, you were well past the point of courage and deep into drunken stupidity, the microphone in your hands as you unabashedly belted out the words to a near-impossible to pull off song, your voice breaking and cracking the entire time. Though crowd in the bar was mostly focused on their own conversations, you couldn’t help but lock eyes with a familiar face, though you’d never so much as spoken to the man before.
After all, what reason would the town’s school teacher have for chatting up the famous Joel Miller?
Clearly too drunk to care about your lack of acquaintance, you pointed at him as you sang, a wide grin on your face as you watched him try to calm the smile that grew on his.
“I have nothing! Nothing! Nothinnnnnnnnnng—“ your cracking voice softened into a mildly enjoyable breathy tone as you sang the last line, stretching your hand out for him as though you were serenading him. “If I don’t have you.”
“Well! That was definitely somethin’,” Tommy helped you off the stage while Maria continued to emcee, holding in her chuckle as you almost took a tumble down the singular step, Tommy quick to catch you. With a singular laugh, Maria ordered her husband to help sober you up a bit. “Get her some coffee.”
“I got it,” Joel stepped in, the deep mess of his southern rasp forcing your glassy eyes up to meet his. “Come on, Miss Houston. Let’s get a cup’a coffee in ya.”
You drunkenly slurred out your actual name as you allowed him to help walk you into the back kitchen, away from the drunken crowd. Joel chuckled and nodded as he got the coffee pot going, his back turned to you as you rested against the fridge.
“I know your name,” he replied, the simple sentence bringing a goofy grin to your face.
“Oh, yeah?” you flirted, biting your lip as you waited for him to turn around and grace you with eye contact. When he finally did, you literally felt your knees buckle, Joel’s eyes turning concerned for a moment until you steadied yourself.
“Lemme get you a chair.” He walked off to the office, returning a moment later with a wooden stool. He set it down by the metal island, ordering you to sit down with a pat onto the wood. “Take it you don’t drink often.”
“Never,” you corrected. “But I’m single and alone on Valentine’s day in the middle of an apocalypse, so…” you repeated Margot’s words from earlier before realizing you hadn’t seen her in at least an hour. “Margot! Have you—“
“She left with her husband ‘bout a half-hour ago,” he informed you before you had a chance to worry too much. “And you ain’t alone.”
“Huh?”
“You said you’re single and alone,” he replied, turning his back to you once more as the coffee pot began to fill the mug. “You ain’t alone.”
“Well, not literally, but—“ you shrugged, gesturing at yourself. “Not going home with anybody.”
“Well, gettin’ yourself drunk maybe put a wrench in that plan,” he chuckled, setting your cup down in front of you before walking to the fridge. “Need creamer?”
“No, I’ll just,” you took a sip of the hot liquid and hummed, enjoying the bitterness more than you did sober. “Pretty good.”
“I do pride myself on my coffee,” he walked off to the office and quickly returned with another chair, pulling it up to the island and sitting down in front of you. “You know how many guys out there would’ve been more than happy to keep you company tonight?”
“Oh, I’m sure there was a line,” you replied, your smirk growing into a smile as you watched Joel roll his eyes. “I don’t like any of the guys in town. They’re all too…brutal.”
Joel’s face fell a bit as he nodded, his knuckles tapping on the metal.
“I didn’t mean you—I just mean they’re all very…I don’t know,” you sighed and rested your forehead on the table.
“It’s alright,” he assured. “My ego ain’t bruised that bad.”
“I really didn’t mean you,” you spoke softly as your eyes met his again. “You’re not—I don’t consider you one of the guys in town. You’re like…untouchable to all of us, you know?”
“What?” He chuckled but his cluelessness was sincere.
“All of us women don’t see you as someone attainable. You’re…Joel. Too good for—“ Joel’s scoff interrupted your sentence before you could finish it, his head shaking.
“I ain’t too good for shit,” he corrected, his hazel eyes softening as he met yours. “And I definitely ain’t too good for you. Ask anyone in their right mind and they’d quickly tell ya it’s the other way around.”
“You trying to flirt with me?” you asked through. drunken grin, tilting your head at him. Joel chuckled and shrugged in response. “That wasn’t an answer.”
“Maybe you and I can talk about this when you’re sobered up—breakfast, tomorrow mornin’?” You didn’t try to hide the eagerness in your smile as you accepted his offer with a nod.
“I’d like that.”
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After the dishes were finished, the two of you found yourself in the clawfoot bathtub Joel’s renovated house had been lucky to feature. You faced each other, your foot currently being massaged by Joel’s rough but tender hands.
“Your voice ain’t that bad, ya know,” Joel gave you a playful smirk, his eyes so focused on yours you could nearly feel his love for you deep in your soul.
“Well it was enough to get you to notice me,” you agreed with a smirk. Joel shook his head, his smile growing bashful.
“I noticed you way before that, trust me.” There was the tiniest hint of shyness—something boyish in his voice that made your stomach flutter, the look in his eyes just the cherry on top. “Only had the guts to ask you out ‘cause I thought you were too drunk to remember it.”
You gasped a chuckle, shifting over to sit on his lap, placing your hands on either side of his face as his rested on your hips. “You were crazy for ever thinking there was a chance I’d reject you. You’re a hunk, Joel Miller.”
“A hunk, huh?” he teased, bringing his lips to the base of your throat and giving your skin a soft peck.
“Mmhm,” you confirmed in a hum, the best response you could muster. Joel hummed back as his lips sucked tiny marks down the front of your chest until he was slipping your nipple into his mouth, earning the sweet sound of your breathy moans.
You tossed your head back, your hips rolling on their own accord, the slick drag of your cunt along the underside of his cock earning you a muffled growl as he kissed his way over to your other breast.
“Need you,” you whispered as you reached back and gripped his cock, lining him up with your heat before sinking down until you were flush with one another. Joel’s hands squeezed tightly at the sudden sensation of being buried in your heat, his lips pulling away from your nipple with a lewd pop. You grinned as you kept yourself still on his cock, your thumb brushing his cheekbone as you gazed down at him with contentment. “Love you, Miller.”
“Love you too, Miss Houston,” he replied with a matching, cheeky smile, his hands sliding up the curve of your spine and back down, resting on the globes of your ass and squeezing.
You lifted your hips almost completely off of him and locked eyes with him as you sank back down, Joel’s head tipping back against the edge of the tub. He moaned soft and sweet for you, his hands holding your waist as you started to bounce on him, your stare never leaving his as you began to target the head of his cock at your g-spot. He reached one hand up to cup your jaw, his thumb resting on your lip practically begging for you to take it into your mouth, and so you did. With a cheeky grin, you wrapped your lips around it and gave it a suck, humming at the whimper the act caused.
“So fuckin’ pretty,” he praised, his eyes then traveling from your face down your torso until he was watching you spear yourself with his cock underneath the surface of the water. “Shit. You should see how pretty your pussy looks takin’ me.”
“Joel,” his words forced you to whine, your eyes squeezing shut as the tingling heat building in your core started to trickle down your thighs and up your spine. “Touch me and make me cum for you.”
“Anything you want, sweetheart.” His thumb found your clit, stroking imperfect circles over it as you started to bounce on him so hard he half-wondered if he might break you, but judging by your cries of praise, this was exactly how you wanted it. “God damn, darlin. Ridin’ me so good I—fuck—I’m gonna cum inside that pretty pussy.”
His free hand gripped your hip to leverage himself a bit as he met your bounces with sharp thrusts, the water splashing from over the edge of the tub but neither of you could bring yourselves to care about the wet floor with how close you both were to the edge.
“Shit, baby,” he growled, his neck straining as he tried to hold off his release until you hit yours. “Come on, gimme it. Lemme feel you—“
“Fuck!” you screamed as your climax hit you like a brick wall, your body collapsing forward into his arms. Joel held you tight as he pistoned into your still convulsing walls until every nerve in his body buzzed with the familiar feeling of euphoria, his cock pressing in deep as he spilled inside of you. His lips were pressed to your cheek, mumbling praise into your skin as your hearts raced in tandem, his hands stroking up and down the expanse of your back to ground you both.
“I love you, sweet thing,” he mumbled as he kissed his way to your lips, your head turning to meet him for a sweet, unhurried kiss. Joel pulled away with a chuckle, smiling at you before opening his lips to sing to you in his gruff but rich voice, “I have nothing if I don’t have you.”
“Sounds good when you sing it,” you mumbled, sleepy from the hot bath and hotter sex. Joel chuckled and leaned forward, pressing his lips to your temple.
“My favorite version’s always gonna be your drunken performance,” he husked back, bringing a smile to your face. “But I might be a little biased.”
“More than a little.” Joel laughed and nodded, squeezing you tighter.
“Oh well. Don’t care.”
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u3pxx · 4 months
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WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S 2024?!?!
next, you're gonna tell me it's gonna be some made-up year like "2025" next. tch, imagine that.
anyways, whoo! 2023! compared to both 2022 and 2021, i gotta say, my art style took a hard swerve in some direction this year. i mean, look at that klavier from january and that butch kim from just this december! (granted, i heavily referenced the portrait of butch kim but still, i didn't use to paint! mama mia!)
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the way i drew faces has definitely changed, that's what i get for getting into something that's live-action and into smth that has realistically proportioned art lol
OH! OH! HOW COULD I FORGET!!! IT WAS (and still will be) THE YEAR OF THE OLD MAN!! i really learned how to draw aged faces this year! ach fraulein, i have not stopped drawing people in their 40's-50's! i would say "send help" but i'm actually having a lot of fun ASKSKS
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i think a funny thing about these art summaries i've done is that they're mostly ace attorney but then there's just a month where i become a different type of ill LMAO this year it was four months for the price of two new interests!
cheers! here's to 2024!!! hope y'all have a fun art year!!!!
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i'm gonna ramble more below about like, other art things i did this year but i'm gonna put it under 'keep reading' bc this baby is getting way too wordy now WHEEZES
1. FAVORITE THINGS I'VE DRAWN THIS YEAR (IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER)
⚖️ mea culpa comic [x]
drawing this one was so time-consuming and ambitious but boy, do i love the end result! i had fun doing the inks for this one but was it a lot! i usually color in lineart and render everything but i had to stop myself from doing it for this one bc man, i'll die asksks
this also has some of my favorite apollos i've drawn, definitely
also! the part about the lineart not being colored and no rendering ended up being a deliberate stylistic choice for this one bc i had like more freedom to do just shadows with inks without it looking too out of place.
💐 my lawfully wedded zine spread [x]
now this one isn't out yet but take my word for when i say that this is one of the most craxy things i've ever drawn for this year, on account of drawing a comic AND group shot all in one!
also literally one of the prettiest things i've rendered this year, lookit that klav...
🎉 aa4 redraw - 2022 anniversary [x]
kind of like my wedding zine piece, group photos are insane, and rendering like uhhh [looks at drawing] 11 CHARACTERS IS ALSO INSANE if i try and draw a group photo again you have to stop me DFGHDJ
🎨 my art fight stuff [x] [x]
was possessed in the month of july or smth bc i pumped out like how many drawings so quickly (before i got burnt out that is pftt)
pace yourselves and don't be like me pls ajshgdghhjk
💥 people park day [x]
my friend told me that it was very obvious i watched across the spiderverse when they saw this FDFGHJD
but yea! this is when i started getting really into like, thought bubbles or just like, panels or drawings within a drawing when coming up with layouts
i still love the colors on this one...
🪩 fem disco portraits
ok so i haven't uploaded these yet but you have to trust me when i say that something was in the water DFGHDJ
who knew that all it took for me to learn how to paint was butches
2. ALSO DID YOU KNOW THAT I SOLD STICKERS THIS YEAR IN OUR UNI'S ART MART?
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THE ONLY GOOD THING ABOUT THAT SCHOOL I SWEAR PFTTT this experience has also awaken the merch beast in me and i need to make more physical things for my brain to be happy, that's just how it be pfttt
hopefully next year i can actually start like a shopee shop or whatever lmao
3. ART FIGHT
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i'm actually quite happy i got to participate in art fight this year! very delighted for all the art i've gotten and very fun to have drawn for others too!!
4. ZINES
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i got invited and joined so many zines from 2022 continuing to 2023 that i kind of got burnt out from participating for now ngl ASKSKSKS not gonna be joining much this year oopsiessss! (unless i lose self-control [very likely])
5. SCHOOL
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i don't actually like a lot of the stuff i draw for art school bc i tend to cram and not have fun pftt <- adhd moment, tragic! but here are some that i actually kind of like lol
6. THAT'S IT!
i think that's it! thanks for reading all the way down here!! o(* ̄▽ ̄*)ブ
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barzysunflower · 11 months
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you’re losing me — mat barzal
ok so I definitely impulse wrote this after listening to the song one too many times! (still listening to it, still sobbing about it) definitely check it out although it may be a bit hard to find haha taylor pls just release it
spoiler: this is a HEA bc I am incapable of writing/reading sad endings. my life sucks enough, my fictional world doesn’t need to either lol so not all aspects of the song are used/it’s not exactly the same as the song, it’s just inspired by it
word count: 3.9k warning: angsty, with hea
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"I need a break."
"From what?"
"Us."
—————————
When you started dating your boyfriend Mat seven years ago you thought you were going to get married. Even with his busy schedule he was the most attentive, caring, and loving boyfriend you could have ever dreamed of. When he moved to New York, of course you were extremely happy for him. Playing in the NHL had been his dream since he was a kid, so you were very supportive, but you couldn't help but feel heartbroken over him moving across the country and leaving you. But ever since the day he landed in the city, he begged you to come live with him and eventually he convinced you. You transferred university to one in New York, lived in the dorms for a couple of years until Mat and you got an apartment together. You finished your undergraduate degree, then started and finished your masters. Mat had always been just as supportive of you as you of him. He made living away from your family easy. He made living easy. Date nights in all shapes and forms, luxurious vacations, and just him making you happy with all of his little quirks. Your relationship was something straight out of a movie. It was perfect. Until it wasn't.
You don't know when things began to change in your relationship, nothing really caused it, but one day you started feeling unhappy. Mat changed. Or maybe you did. But you weren't the same two people you once were. When you came home from work, you got a 'hello' and a kiss but the passion behind his eyes were gone. He barely asked you about your day anymore or told you about his. Just enough before you fell back into silence. You didn't used to mind the silence. Sitting comfortably in silence was a sign you truly felt at peace with a person, but when the silence got uncomfortable for you, you knew something was wrong. The amount of times you two went out alone decreased to the point where you could count on one hand the amount of dates you had been on in the past two months.
He just stopped making an effort and any effort you put into the relationship was rejected or gone unnoticed. Like making him dinner or doing his laundry and him not at least thanking you for it.
His love language was most definitely touch, but even that had slipped away day after day. He kissed you in the mornings, at night, and when either of you got home, but the spontaneous make out sessions or random quickies throughout the day were basically nonexistent anymore. You had sex after his games or when he got home from a roadie, but somehow that had started to feel like an effort.
You missed the old Mat that always had some part of his body touching yours. At dinner, sitting next to each other, he usually intertwined his pinky with yours, only breaking to use his knife. Or he always held your hand or had an arms wrapped around you when you were out of the house, like he was afraid to lose you. That stopped and now you were the one afraid that you had lost him.
You had just gotten too comfortable with each other. You knew each other so well you could anticipate what the other would say or feel that you didn't need to tell each other anymore. You still wanted to that, you were still interested in what he had to say, in hearing his voice, but after countless efforts being rejected, it was easier to say nothing.
The worst part was that you couldn't even blame his schedule and just wait for the season to end. It hadn't changed. You had made it work that past few years before, even with you being busy with school, so why now? You were starting to question your self worth, because what else could it be?
The last few months had been hell for you, silently and lonely suffering. Because every time you brought up the subject of your relationship, he said everything was fine and that we'd just hit a little rut that would resolve itself.
You wanted to believe him so badly. You wanted to believe that everything would be okay. You didn't want to throw the last seven years away. You had worked so hard to be here. You had experienced so much together, made so many memories. Was it really worth throwing it all away?
But you were sick of waiting for it to stop. Sick of your efforts being lost. Sick of Mat not seeming to care. You hit your breaking point.
And that's how you found yourself on the verge of tears standing in front of Mat in your kitchen in which you had made so many beautiful memories. "I just can't sit around waiting for you do something anymore. I gave you so many chances for you to do something, say something, risk something for me, but you did nothing. You're losing me, Mat, you don't even seem to care."
He blinked. A blank expression on his face. Just like the last few months. Some part of you wasn't surprised, the other ripped your heart into shreds.
"I just– I need a break."
"From what?," he finally asked, already knowing the answer.
"From us." A tiny, very tiny, weight lifted off you when you said it out loud. You had been wanted to say it for months and although you weren't happy about the situation, you were proud of yourself that you did. "I'm going back to Seattle for a few months. I just need space from you right now."
"When? For how long?" That's probably the most he'd asked about you in a while.
"I haven't booked a flight yet, but probably tomorrow." He nodded, pressing his lips together. "At least until the end of your season. Until you have some free time to figure out if you still love me or not." You lips were shaking, tears threatening to flow freely. You didn't want to say it, but a part of you felt bitter.
"(Y/n)–"
"No!," you stopped him. You couldn't hear it. "If you tell me you love me right now I'll stay. And this wasn't an easy decision but a necessary one. I'm weak for you, Mat. I'd do anything for you, but I don't feel that from you. So, please, just stop. I made up my mind. This has to happen. Maybe in a few months we can work it out, but right now I need space."
He gave you another nod then turned around and left. You heard him rustling around in your bedroom and a few minutes later your front door slammed shut. He was gone. A part of you was angry at him for not putting up a fight, but then again you had asked him not to. But just once, you wanted him not to listen to you and tell and show you how he felt. You guessed you had your answer.
The next few months were rough for you. A different kind than the few months before, but still difficult. You missed Mat terribly. Countless of times you came close to booking a flight back home to New York and burying your face in his chest. But it wasn't your turn this time. He had to fight for you.
But you missed him nonetheless. You had almost called him when Anthony got traded just a couple weeks after you left, but you didn't. Then again when not shortly after he got hurt in a game against Boston. You wanted, but you didn't. Not until he did. But he never did.
It took a while, but you started to be able to breath again. You got a small job at a café, since you took a leave of absence from your big girl job in New York and still needed some money. You made some new friends, most of your old ones having moved away or gotten too out of touch with, and developed a new daily routine. You started feeling better, but the whole inside you was reserved for only Mat to fix and would probably take years to mend if he didn't make a move soon.
Weeks, then months went by and not a single word from Mat. You couldn't even see him on TV for his games (which you still watched) since he was injured and his social media was a bust too. Your friends and his teammates (also your friends) checked in every once in a while, asking how you were and telling you how miserable Mat was. But unless you saw that for yourself, you couldn't really believe it.
Then, by some miracle the Islanders made it to the playoffs and Mat was scheduled to be back to playing. You tuned in, but almost had to turn it back off when you saw his face. His beautiful face that you loved to kiss and touch and simply just look at. Now though, it was riddled with frown marks, dark under eye circles and his unshaven scruff that took you years to like. He fought more on the ice, too. He rarely took penalties for righting but during these next few games he collected them like trophies. He was short and snippy in his post game interviews, again, something usually unlike him. He was miserable, you could tell. But then why had he not made an effort to get you back? Had you pushed him too far away when you left him? Was that the wrong thing to do?
You fought with yourself day and night. You wanted to go back to him and fight for him, but then you remembered that you did. You did fight for him countless of times. In your head you used to screamed at him to do something, say something, risk something, but he never did. So stayed put, waiting for his season to end and see what he would do.
A couple weeks later, your parents were out for dinner, you were home watching a movie with a big glass of wine when the doorbell rang. You didn't feel like answering, but who rang the doorbell after six pm? Your ex boyfriend who just showed up without a warning from across the country did. Or current boyfriend?
He stood there, outside your door with his grown out hair, unshaven beard, and sad look on his face. You started at him, processing. He was here.
"Mat? What–"
"No! It's my turn to talk now! (Y/n), you left. You just fucking left me without a warning." When you opened your mouth to protest, he held up his hand silencing you. "I know, I probably should have seen it coming, but you left! That hurt like hell."
He rubbed his face with his hands, also combing through his hairs before he went on. "I don't know what happened. I swear. I felt something change, yeah, but I just got comfortable. I didn't fall out of love with you. Never. And I'm sorry. I just assumed you felt the same and I shouldn't have. I should have checked in more. I'm sorry for taking for granted what I had. You. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me and I totally understand if you're done with me, because no one should take you for granted. (Y/n), I love you and the way you care for people, for me. You light up any room you walk in, you make everyone smile, you're– god, you're so so beautiful."
He took a deep breath, fighting his tears. You had given up holding them back pretty much the second you opened the door. "What I'm trying to say is, I'm sorry. I've been such a jerk and I realize that and take full responsibility. These past few months have been hell for me without you there. Our apartment feels so cold without you. But it gave me some time to think about everything I fucked up and everything I will do better if you're willing to take me back. Please take me back, (y/n), I don't know how to live without you." He shook his head and tears away, collecting himself. "No, wait. I came here to apologize and give you time to decide whether you'll forgive me. The 'I want you back' speech will come later. If you'll hear it."
You were speechless. All these months, even before you left, that's what you had been hoping and begging for to hear. Why couldn't you speak? Or move?
Moments passed with the two of you just staring at each other. Mat hesitated to say more, but he couldn't read your face. Did you want to hear more or slap him in the face and tell him to leave? "Alright, uhm, I'm gonna go. Don't really know where, but I'm sure there's a hotel open around here." He got ahold of the suitcase next to him. "Uhm. I guess, text me? Or call? Whenever you're ready."
He waited a few more seconds for you to move, but when you didn't he slowly turned around and walked out of your driveway. Seeing his back turned, him walking away from you again when he had just come back made you snap out of it. "Maty!"
You sobbed running up to him and into his arms that had opened for you the second you yelled his name. You buried your face in the crook of his shoulder, inhaling his scent while you clung to him. He held onto you just as desperately. His hand I'm your hair at the back of your head, the other around your waist holding you tight to his body. You felt like home again after months and months of searching for it. You heart expanded and pounded swiftly for him and him alone.
"Fuck, baby, I missed you so much." He had let you down, but now both of his hands held your cheeks as he looked at you. He dropped his forehead against yours. "I'm so sorry."
You weren't ready to forgive him just yet, but you were so ready for him to kiss you. "Kiss me." And boy, did he. His mouth attacked yours with that intoxicating passion you had missed so much. Your tongues danced their dance without a hitch as he claimed you as his again.
You must have stood out there for minutes before breaking apart and coming up for air. You pulled him into the house, you had given your neighbors enough of a show. You settled on the couch, but put a pillow in between the two of you so you could talk things out before you did something you'd regret. That didn't stop him though from reaching his hand out to you. First, he took your hand then let it wander up to your face. "Come back home with me," he whispered. His sad green eyes were begging, too, a look that was very hard to resist.
"I want to," you whispered back, your voice starting to shake with emotion again. "But I can't just go back like nothing happened. Mat, those few months were extremely painful for me, I can't just ignore that. I'm so happy you realized it now, but I need to see some action. Your words, as happy as I am to hear them, aren't going to fix it alone."
He nodded, then dropped his forehead against yours. "I'm sorry. I'll fix this. I promise."
"We'll fix this. I don't want to throw us away, I want to work on this, but we need to do it slowly."
He nodded again and brushed his lips against your nose. "I have to go back to New York tomorrow. I have a few meetings and exit interviews and stuff, but after that I can come back here or you come back and I'll live with Wally or something for a while so we can work on this."
You nodded and threw the pillow separating you to the floor. You'll hash out the details later, but right now you just needed his big, warm hug. You sat like this for hours, not saying much, just enjoying each others company after you had been away from each other for so long.
The next day, he really did leave to go back to New York but he came back just a few days later. He stayed at a hotel, which did feel weird, but it was for the best. You needed to trust him again and doing it slowly would result in the best outcome. You spent a few hours together every day, catching up and talking about your plans to rebuild your relationship. At the end of the day, he'd bring you home and kiss you for a few minutes, then leave. Every time you wanted to run after him and go with him, but you could already feel the hole in your heart fixing itself, so you didn't and just trusted the process.
The day you told him you were ready to come back to New York was one you'd never forget. He spun you around in the middle of the park you had decided to have lunch at and kissed you like nobody was watching. It felt good, like the beginning again.
You celebrated his birthday a few days later and the day after he left to go visit his family in Vancouver for a few days while you tied up some loose ends here in Seattle. You'd meet back in New York in your apartment.
After an exhausting cross country flight, you were surprised Mat had sent an Uber to pick you from the airport instead of picking you up himself. But when you finally walked through your apartment door and the lights were off except for a few lamps and candles that you had carefully collected over the last few years, you knew why.
Mat, dressed nicely, stood in the middle of your living room surrounded by flowers and lit candles. Little Polaroids and pictures of the two of you were laying across the floor and furniture as well. You approached him slowly, taking his outstretched hand until you stood directly in front of him. His other hand slid into his pants pocket and pulled out a small red velvet box.
"I promise I'm not doing this out of desperation to get you back. I've had this ring since last year. I've been thinking about doing this for a long time. I've just been waiting for the right moment. I didn't want to propose during the season because I wanted to celebrate and do it right. And I had planned on taking you to Africa or the Maldives or somewhere more fun than our apartment but, you know... And I can't wait any longer." He smiled, then chuckled. "But, I'll still take you wherever you want to go."
"Maldives sound good." Why that was the only thing you were answering to you weren't sure, but with a chuckle he kept going.
"Good. And that probably also means you're not going to say no to my next question, but I'll ask anyway." He lowered down in front you onto one knee with his hand still holding onto your left. "(Y/n), for the past seven years, there is not one second that I haven't loved you. I know I haven't always shown that, but I promise you that won't happen again. You are the most important thing in the world to me and I promise there won't be another day where you will question that ever again. There's no one else I want to spend the rest of my life with. It's you, babe, it's always been you. Will you marry me?"
You dropped down to your knees and grabbed his face to kiss him. "Yes," you repeated over and over again between kisses that tasted salty due to the tears running down your face. He got emotional, too, when he finally slid the ring on your finger. It was exactly the one you wanted and had dreamed of getting your entire life. It was perfect and so was he.
And he did keep his promise. Now and every single day there after.
*******
a few years later
"... the end."
"Again!"
"No, it's bed time now, honey."
"No! No sleep! One more book." Your three year old son jumped from your lap and dove towards the bookshelf to pick out another book to read. You checked your phone to see if your husband would be home any minute and in fact he would be, so you agreed to one more book.
"There you guys are." The door opened and Mat walked in with a big smile on his face.
"Daddy!" Your son, again, jumped from your lap into his fathers arms.
"Hi, buddy. I missed you." They hugged dramatically while your son told him all about his morning. Mat eventually put him down and took the couple steps need to get to you.
"Hi, princess. I missed you, too." He picked up your almost one year old daughter, who was also sitting in your lap, and hugged and kissed just as dramatically as he did with your son. Her sleepy eyes lit up with excitement and she filled the room with adorable baby giggles.
"What about me?," you pouted as you stood up.
"You have no idea." His arm wrapped around your shoulder and his lips gently touched yours, but with two children demanding your attention, the kiss was kept short.
You all hung out in the room for a bit, catching up on what Mat had missed while he was away for the last few days on his hockey road trip. Then you put your kids to bed, although putting an exited toddler to bed was no easy task, but eventually he did fall asleep.
"Hi," Mat whispered after you finally closed your sons bedroom door. You turned to face him and his messy hair made you smile. He aged like fine wine and you were thankful every day that he was yours.
"Hey." His hands took ahold of you and slowly pushed you against the hallway wall.
"I missed you," he whispered against your lips before claiming them. His hands roamed your body to find all the places to squeeze and touch while shoving his tongue in your mouth for an amazing kiss. How he went from fun goofy dad to horny teenage in a matter of seconds, you didn't understand, but you also didn't mind.
"Mat, not now. It's the middle of the afternoon," you said between kisses when you could tell this was going to be more than just a make out session.
"So?" He sucked on and kissed your neck. Yeah, what was the problem?
"So? They're both asleep. Hurry up and take me to bed." He didn't need to be told twice and a second later you were up in his arms and enjoying some much needed adult time.
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bradshawsbitch · 1 year
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best friend | bob floyd x f!reader
a second part
this fic is for @roosterforme 's Valentines Day challenge - #love is in the air tgm! for this fic I chose the song 'You're My Best Friend' by Queen - count on me to make the simpiest song on earth a smidge angsty!
disclaimer; as always with me - I set out to write fluff... and I have to go through the five stages of grief first apparently. this did not turn out quite like I first thought, but I hope you'll like it still! it does have a fluffy ending!
plot; bob has always known he needs you. but perhaps he needs you more than he himself knows?
warnings; fluff with a small preamble of angst, female!reader, no use of y/n, uranium mission, mentions of earlier overconsumption of alcohol, mentions of bloody nose, mentions of throwing up, cursing, cuddling naked (is this a warning? i don't know. it's in there), l-bombs, bob tying your shoes bc heart eyes.
word count; ~3.4K
tagging people who might like; @theharddeck @rhettabbotts @lt-bradshaw @roleycoleyreccenter @sebsxphia @laracrofted @gretagerwigsmuse @hangmanbrainrot @hangmanapologist
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‘you make me live’
Robert Floyd was a very clean-cut man. His glasses, the birth control ones, were neat and tidy on his face, rarely crooked, and rested (a little uncomfortably if he were allowed to complain) against the bridge of his nose. He much preferred his old ones, the ones that he had had as a teenager, horn rimmed and snug and comfortable against his nose. But those had broken during a stint he’d pulled just before he joined the Navy, and thus - birth control goggles it was for him. To be fair he figured it suited his new lifestyle better. Neat. Unassertive. 
As a teen, Robert, at that time most known as Robby, was not quite as tidy and neat as he was now. The Robert that you, his best friend, had come to know was definitely on the more rowdy side. He drank quite heavily, and had the occasional smoke as well - something he was fairly certain would shock Hangman’s smirk right off his face if Bob ever wished to shatter the illusion of naivety he’d shouldered. 
It would sometimes irk Bob when people at first construed him as meek. Sure, he’d never been the most social butterfly, and meeting new people always seemed a bit daunting no matter how much practice he had. He figured that might be why he had drank so heavily in his late teens. He’d wanted to be able to talk to people and not feel as if he wanted to sink through the floor because he stuttered once.
After every stutter he uttered, Bob cursed up a storm in his head at his own incompetence. He was far from upset though, he was fucking pissed. How was it that he knew exactly what he wanted to say, yet his tongue betrayed him so wholly? It hardly seemed fair that he actually had so much to say, yet didn’t possess the ability to voice it. If people only knew how eloquent he had sounded in his head.
He guessed that’s why he liked you so much. That first time that you met, and Robert’s tongue had done its best to trip him up at every turn, you’d just smiled warmly at him - eyes twinkling with genuine interest as he spoke. The more you gave him your undivided attention, without letting your gaze flicker away from his face, the more confident Bob had grown - as if his mouth and tongue suddenly remembered how to do their jobs properly when he felt more relaxed, and as if he wasn’t in a rush to say what he wished before the recipients focus had been drawn elsewhere. 
You had waited patiently, and you’d replied with such care that he felt taken aback that you’d actually remembered most of his monologue. Since then, Bob had barely gone a day without speaking to you. It didn’t matter much what time of day it was, or how long you spoke, or how. Through the phone, via FaceTime or in person, Bob just needed to hear your sweet voice. Needed you like the air he breathed.
It had been that way ever since you met, and you had helped him when he needed it the most. Just before he had managed to make his drinking an unsalvageable problem, you had reminded him that he was valuable without the confidence that beverages lended him.
With you he never felt the need to put on any bravado or show. He had barely touched a drop of alcohol since his nineteenth birthday, and he never felt the urge to start up again. Bob had figured out that people could find him interesting and worthwhile without having the aid of alcohol to loosen his tongue and inhibit his sagacity.
‘whatever this world can give to me, it’s you - you’re all i see’
The world had undoubtedly thrown a few wrenches in Bob’s path. Growing up he’d suffered a lot at the hands of his peers, not really knowing why they felt the need to pick on him in particular. In his mind he didn’t stand out much.
Sure, he might be a bit clumsy sometimes, and he had been a little thinner and ganglier than his fellow classmates - but as he grew that had changed. Now he had defined abs and biceps, and still he didn’t feel entirely comfortable flaunting them on the beach. He preferred to keep a shirt on on the rare occasion he’d make it to the beach, something he knew you didn’t like - but something you didn’t ever push.
Bob was fairly certain most of the people that used to make fun of him had no idea that he was quite sharp, and he was not entirely sure that if he were to explain the intricacies he attended to in the aft seat of the F/A-18F he was usually assigned to, they would most likely come up blank for a response.
Robert was fairly certain anyone could wake him up in the middle of the night and ask him to man the AESA or ATFLIR system and he’d do it half asleep. The only one he’d tried to explain what he did in detail to was you, and only because you had asked and seemed genuinely intrigued - not even his father seemed particularly interested in knowing the heavy weaponry his son was responsible for when Bob tried to talk about it to him when he’d just joined the Navy.
Through any of the hardships Bob went through though, he always had you. You were always just a phone call away, even though Bob preferred to see you in front of him. Robert would never really call himself a liar, he tried his best to always say what was on his mind, no matter the outcome, but he undoubtedly was a liar.
Horribly enough, he was lying to you. And for some time he had definitely lied to himself. He’d almost told you after his situation with Phoenix, that first time he’d have to eject out of a spiraling Super Hornet at such speeds it made him dizzy to think that he’d actually survived. 
He had called you from his hospital bed, voice shaking slightly as he reassured you that he was alright - having to bite the insides of his cheeks to keep from sniffling as he heard your teary voice blubbering how worried you’d been when you had gotten the call that his plane had gone down during a training exercise.
He had made you his emergency contact several years ago at that point. And perhaps your soft sobs was what made him keep his confession close to his chest for just a while longer. If you didn’t know, and he didn’t make it home during the upcoming mission - at least you might not suffer too much from the loss of him. Better to lose a best friend than a lover right? That’s what Bob reasoned. 
‘whenever this world is cruel to me… i got you to help me forgive’
As Phoenix put the Super Hornet down hard on the deck, Bob shook slightly as he swiftly went through his checklist. He was pretty sure his nose was bleeding, and wave after wave of nausea kept hitting him sporadically. He needed to get out of the jet. He needed to breathe fresh air, and most of all - he needed you. Hurrying down the steps, Bob ran as fast as his legs would carry him to the side of the huge ship, emptying the contents of his stomach into the vastness of the ocean below. They had lost Mav. They had lost Rooster. 
What if it had been him and Nat? It just as easily could’ve been. His legs were shaking as the adrenaline from the mission they had just gone through started waning. God, why had he gotten close to any of these people? He knew he had gotten too familiar with all of them after that god damned game day on the beach - he’d told you happily about being perched on Bradley’s shoulders, and you’d laughed and congratulated him on a good game. 
The memory sent another wave of nausea through him and he retched again as warm blood dripped down over his cupid's bow. Just as he was about to rush up to the nearest admiral around and get on his knees to beg them to let him call you, Phoenix showed up at his side, her dainty hand - that had just guided them to safety - landing on his shoulder. Not caring in the slightest, Bob quickly wiped his mouth and nose on his sleeve before roughly pulling her into a bone-crushing embrace, her soft words of reassurances falling on deaf ears. 
“Thank you, Nat. For getting me back.” Bob had, since he had met Natasha, known she would do everything in her power to make sure he made it back, with or without Maverick’s ‘funeral talks’. He watched his pilot clench her jaw, eyes turning misty as she looked up at him and nodded. 
“Likewise,” she said, patting his shoulder again before releasing him swiftly as they both noticed Hangman’s F/A-18E launch off the ship. Nat’s brows were furrowed, and Bob accompanied her as they made their way back towards the others. Fanboy took one look at Bob before offering him a pained look and a baby wipe - Bob knew that Mickey sometimes still threw up after flights, and had them on him at all times just in case. 
“You okay, man?” Fanboy spoke softly to the other wizzo, patting Bob’s back as the taller man thanked him and wiped at his nose and mouth. Bob shook his head somberly, wanting to be anywhere else than where he was right now. With a clarity he hadn’t known in a while, he realized that he craved you. Craved your voice, your touch, your embrace. He needed you.
‘you’re the first one when things turn out bad’
If he had been able to teleport himself to your doorstep right now he’d press you so close to his chest, he’d breathe in your scent, he’d let his lips descend upon yours only to let them never leave their new found home, securely against yours. He’d carry you to bed, and he’d use any excuse to keep you snuggled into his side for days and days. 
As it was, he had no choice but to stay where he was. Perhaps it was best that he did, otherwise he wouldn’t have known that both Mav and Rooster had made it back alive, if barely. Laying down to sleep that night as the waves rocked the ship, he had never felt so exhausted mentally and physically in his life. It felt as if his very essence had been changed through the emotions and experiences he had had during this day. He couldn’t wait to be home. Home with you.
Bob had decided the second the Super Hornet had landed that day that he would be selfish. He would tell you about the feelings he’d harbored for you for years now. It was better than dying and you never even knowing. Never knowing that you were the only one for him, that you were his sunshine, his very reason for breathing. 
‘i’m happy, happy at home’
What Bob hadn’t counted on as he finally was able to make his way towards where people were usually gathered to greet their loved ones, was that you were there. He never had anyone waiting for him, because you lived some ways away, and the rest of his family were all the way over in Montana. Perhaps that’s why he needed to be nudged in the side by Phoenix, the one whom he’d spent the most time showing pictures of you to, before he made out your calls of ‘Robby!’.
His mouth fell open in shock as he saw you sprinting towards him, dropping his duffel bag just in time to be able to catch you in his arms as you barreled into his tall frame. He only had to take a small step back to steady himself, before his arm squeezed hard at your waist and his other cradled the back of your head as he felt you nuzzle into his chest.
He could hardly make out your muffled words, but it did sound an awful lot like his name being repeated over and over again in relief. Relief flooded him too as he took in a shaky breath, overcome by the familiar scent you brought with you. Tears clouded his vision as he pulled you in closer, standing to his full height for a moment, letting your converse clad feet lift off of the pavement.
As the two of you pulled away from one another, he could see tears streaming down your cheeks, and his brows furrowed as he cradled your face between his large palms. 
“Sunshine…” Bob breathed out, a lopsided smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. You offered him a teary smile in return. Thumbs soothed over your tear stained cheeks, and Bob took this moment of silence to look you over.
He noticed that in your haste to make it over to him, one of your shoelaces had fallen out of the neat bow you’d no doubt hastily thrown together before leaving to see him. How you’d gotten the information he wasn’t sure, he hadn’t been able to tell you before he left when he’d be back. He figured Phoenix might have something to do with it though. He wondered what she’d told you.
Releasing the hold he had of your face, Robert slowly fell down to kneel by your feet, slowly taking the laces between his nimble fingers, tugging softly to make sure they were tight enough before tying another knot, this time a double bow, to make sure they didn’t fall apart again.
He playfully tugged at the top of the shoe, before he gazed up at you. The expression on your face had his breath leaving his lungs suddenly, and his lips parted in surprise. That look of adoration on your face was so beautiful to him, and to have it directed at him… it was overwhelming. 
“Take me home?” you whispered once he had stood to his full height again, and he wasn’t entirely sure what you meant. He had rented a small flat whilst he was going to be stationed here, so he figured that was home for him right now. Maybe home was wherever you were. Maybe you felt the same. He hoped you did. Bob only nodded before confidently grasping your smaller hand in his, lacing his fingers with yours as you steered him towards your car. 
The ride back to Bob’s rented flat was mostly silent, except for his soft spoken directions. He had yet to let go of your hand, thankful for your automatic car. His thumb stroked over your knuckles, maybe more to soothe himself than you. He felt like he needed to feel your skin against his own, make sure you were real. Make sure he was real too. 
Getting out of the car, Bob swiftly moved to open your door, his hands on your waist the moment you stood up.
“Robby,” you whispered, emotions unknown lacing your tone. Bob couldn’t do this here. Not on the driveway. He ushered you to the door, unlocking it and steering you inside without uttering a word.
“You’re my best friend,”
Bob spoke slowly, letting his cerulean eyes map out your face, every single familiar feature a thing of beauty. Heaving a deep sigh, he again let his palm rest against your cheek as you gazed up at him, that look of adoration still present.
“I love you, sunny,” Bob confessed, his voice breaking at the end of his sentence, overcome by the fact that he might not have made it home to tell you that. You licked your lips as more tears fell from your eyes.
“Phoenix told me you almost didn’t make it home to me,” you replied shakily. He averted his gaze, but you stepped closer, your chest now resting against his own. It forced him to look down at you again, god, you were so close. 
“How could you have left me without telling me that beforehand? I’ve–” you trailed off, a sob shaking you softly. Bob furrowed his brows, letting his arms wound around you to hold you steady against him. 
“I’ve loved you my whole life… ever since I first heard you speak, I’ve loved you,” you cried “as more than a friend. I’ve wanted to be yours for so long, Robby,” Bob groaned, pulling you into a tight embrace, tucking your face into the crook of his neck as his lips found the top of your head.
“Sunny… you’re mine. You’ve always been mine. And I’ve always been yours. I’m sorry–” his voice broke again “I’m sorry it took me so long to tell you. I never in a million years figured I’d be good enough for you,” his voice was raw with emotion, a raspy and deep quality to it that had you momentarily dizzy.
You thought you had heard every iteration of Robert’s voice that there was. Sleepy Robby, angry Robby, sweet Robby, sad Robby… nothing compared to this. Nothing. 
“You stupid, stupid man,” you chastised him, a teary laugh falling from your lips as you broke free from his embrace. Bob had the decency to look bashful as he chuckled, thumb stroking over your cheek again. Your own hand raised, fingertips ghosting over his cheeks, the harsh feel of his stubble unusual for you. Your exploration continued slowly, before your thumb graced Bob’s lower lip, hearing his breath stutter in his throat. 
“Kiss me, Robby,” you spoke softly, glancing up at those cerulean eyes you loved so much. The groan that left Bob was otherworldly to you as he cupped your face in between his palms, his warm lips descending upon yours as your eyes fluttered closed.
Bob could swear he’d never felt anything like it as his lips were met with your warm and plump ones, moving so slowly and deliciously against his own, small sighs making him a little crazy. He couldn’t get enough of the feeling. You felt like home. Hesitantly, Bob let his tongue wet your bottom lip, and the way you let him deepen the kiss had another groan leaving his lips as your tongue met his slowly. 
“I never want to leave you again,” Bob leaned his forehead against yours as his eyelids squeezed shut. 
“Then don’t,” you let a soft giggle escape from you. Bob only smiled, before he bent down, letting his hands rest on the backs of your thighs as he hoisted you into his arms. 
“I need snuggles and I need them now,” he simply said as he walked you into his bedroom, carefully helping remove your shoes before he planted you in the middle of the comfortable bed. Removing his own shoes, Bob stripped out of his khaki uniform, leaving him in only his boxers - something you had certainly seen before, but something beautiful nonetheless.
He moved to climb onto the bed with you, but you held up your palm, stopping him momentarily as you wiggled out of your jeans and your top - needing to feel Bob’s skin against yours. 
Bob offered you the softest of smiles before he laid down beside you, keeping a small distance between your bodies, not wanting to make the first move at touching you. Rolling your eyes, you muttered “silly man” before promptly draping your thigh over his, letting your stomach and chest snuggle close into his warm skin, your head resting against his neck. 
“Thank God,” Bob sighed, kissing your forehead as his strong arms wrapped around your midsection, his fingers tracing patterns on your bare skin. The same fingers that only hours ago had frantically manned the countermeasures and systems needed to get out safely. Bob squeezed his eyes shut before he took a shuddering deep breath.
“Hey, you’re here with me, Robby,” you spoke softly, resting your chin against his chest. “You’re here and you’re mine and I love you so much,” you continued, your fingers raking through his neat hair. He managed a smile, and his body relaxed against yours as he mirrored your movements.
“I’m here… and I’m yours, and I love you,” he repeated slowly, leaning against his forearm as he reached to kiss you again, one hand resting comfortably at the back of your head as his lips moved with yours. He felt your lips turn upwards into a soft smile against his own, and when you broke away from him, he let out a relieved sigh as he fell back against the pillows, eyes closed.
He smiled as he felt you climb on top of him, curling up on his chest, your head resting comfortably on his sternum, your thighs encompassing his hips. His palm softly stroked up and down your spine, and he swore he could almost hear you purring like a cat at his touch. 
Soft kisses were shared between whispered words of comfort and love, and Bob had never thought he could be this lucky, to have his best friend dozing off against his chest, her kisses and her love soothing his rattled soul.  
‘oh, you’re my best friend’
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