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#and that those things would have eaten us up anyway
ellsarchive · 16 hours
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Johnny Cade Headcannons!! *.• (both romantic and general to his character)
Also some creds to @blazestar for inspo on a few of these 🙊
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Looks up to Darry like a brother, but at the same time is pretty intimidated by him so their relationship is sort of complex.
Not necessarily as quiet as made out in the book, but still pretty quiet. Usually it isn’t because he’s super nervous though, he just prefers not to talk. He’s only nervous sometimes.
Sometimes forgets to eat and just has mints to get rid of the hunger. He’s eaten an entire tin of altoids in a singular day once.
His side eye is MEANNN. Since he’s so quiet he probably communicates with it more than speaking. Someone teases him? 🌚. Dally talking like a pig about a girl? 🌚. Someone mentions his crush? 🌚.
If he likes you this man would avoid you and chase you around at the same time. Hear me out. Like he’s purposefully taking routes to walk near you, sitting relatively close to you, trying to find ways to be in groups with you, etc. If you actually direct your attention on him though, he gets all nervous and doesn’t know what the hell to say because what do you MEAN you took the time out of your day to say hi to him?
Following up on that fact he believes that he’s unlovable because of the way his parents treat him. He knows that the gang cares about him, but his mind can barely process it. Sometimes when he’s alone in the lot he wonders if they really care or they’re just nice out of pity.
Please reassure him. He’s probably seem really awkward if you told him how much he’s loved and really dug up the emotions he buries and hides, but whether he realizes or not he finds his shoulders a little lighter and his mind a little clearer on those lonely, quiet nights.
On the rare nights he does sleep in his house, it feels so foreign and unusual that he can’t sleep. He always ends up just laying there and listening to his parents fight and talk about him.
He doesn’t have sheets on his bed
He once heard his parents drunkenly joke that they wouldn’t notice nor really care if he died because he’s barely around anyway. He’s slept at “home” much less since then.
He tries to take care of himself but sometimes he either just can’t or forgets
When he was little he had a little book of everywhere he wanted to visit when he grew up. It had places like Mexico, Italy, Hawaii, NYC, etc. He didn’t get to visit one.
Actually really likes guitar. If he had the money to get one and wasn’t shy about it he’d play.
Has a very good mind, and believes that if he was a soc and had parents like Ponyboy’s he’d do well in school.
Books and movies aren’t really his thing, but when it’s being read to him or the gang forces him to watch he always likes them.
Left 9th grade 5’6 and went into 10th grade 5’9 or 5’10. Everyone was very confused.
Has always had more of a romantic than sexual view on women. I believe he wasn’t that interested in relationships and all of that until he met you. Until he saw you, actually.
He used to make little drawings of him and a big brother that he wished he had. He didn’t want to be alone in the place that he’s forced to call home.
He once tried to show his parents the drawings but they thought they were dumb.
Every once in a while his mom will get more drunk than usual and cry to him and promise to be a better mother. He’d always forgive her and hold her and convince himself she was telling the truth this time.
Now that he’s older, he doesn’t forgive her anymore. No matter how much he wants to believe her, he knows she’ll never be better.
Has a habit of biting his nails
He would really like chocolate ice cream. It’s his favourite. (It’s disgusting but don’t tell him I said that)
I love him sm 🫂
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volk-swag-genitalia · 2 months
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the prophetic dreams are getting much more concerning
#not a joke#so like im pretty damn convinced i have prophetic dreams#except one problem is they're not very straightforward#and i never really realize they are prophetic until its too late#i had a dream my lil brother attended the former school i used to study at and something bad would happen to him#i brushed it off at the time because i thought there would be no way in hell my parents would send me off to this school#years later they enrolled him in.#and well its an average school experience for him. some classmates are absolute jerks tho. but the main event in that dream didnt happen ye#because the main event happens at a school camping event. now im worried my brother would die at said camping event. but hey no camping yet#another instance was when i dreamt we went up the escalator up the mall we used to always go to#it was late into the pandemic at the time so i thought ''no way would we end up going'' but then i woke up to my mom announcing that#you guessed it#we were going to that mall#anyways those are a few instances.#right nowi had a dream i went out to lunch after college and snapped at a man for calling me ''ma'am'' because i mentally could not take it#and im scared now#with how i've been mentally. something like that WOULD happen. poor guy#but also i had a beard. why would he do that?#and the dream was also veryyy vivid.#granted not all of my dreams come true.#and i hope it STAYS that way#anyways aside from that i've also had recurring dreams of the ocean levels rising so bad that my home town ended up flooding and dissapeari#well i havent been having the flood dreams lately#that dream had two outcomes. in both outcomes people have adpated and started building a city that could take in the new environment#in one outcome they managed to build an underwater city to regain what was left of the cities that got submerged. people actually helped ea#h other and people were thriving.#in another outcome#society just ended up the same. all of the problems we had now carried on & we were eaten by the sun. except the sun was an eldritch being?#ok for sure that sun thing wont come true. or would it???#nah. i mean according to what we know of the sun. nah.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years
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Listen. I've been a vegetarian for more than half my life and maybe I've just lost my mind but there's something so fucking funny to me abt eating fish. Like yeah I'm gonna pick the meat off that weird swimmy little bastard. Plucked it outta the ocean. Not even gonna cook it. Yummy fish meat. Or eating a catfish like. Yeah. I wanna eat that creature that looks like a sentient tube of mud. Good stuff.
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catboy-kakashi · 2 years
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Noticing a pattern in your behavior that may be a sign of something much larger but instead of trying to analyze that you just quickly put the lid back on the oil fire and walk away
#i have some. problems. when it comes to food#i wouldnt call it like a disorder by any means#i feel like that would be trivializing what people with EDs go through#but uh. well i have been at someone else’s house petsitting and i’ve barely eaten anything besides the bag of veggie chips i brought#and im starting to think. maybe. i need to assess my issues with feeling like im allowed to eat or take food thats offered to me#without being explicitly handed the food and being told its for me#haha uhhhh. haha. anyway. i think i’ll cope with this by projecting onto fictional characters and then never self reflecting#​ camtankerous is whining#like they straight up SAID ‘theres leftover in the fridge! feel free to eat those!’#but because they said that and not ‘thats for you!’ my brain says ‘theyll eat that if i dont. i should leave it for them. its not for me’#like idk. like i dont DESERVE to eat someone elses leftovers??? thats so fucking SAD. that makes me sound like a stray dog or something#i havent had coffee for several days either bc asking how their coffee machine worked felt like admitting i was planning on taking#their coffee and like. maybe im not allowed to have coffee! thats THEIR fancy coffee#i newrly slept on the fucking couch instead of one of the TWO guest beds they told me i could use. whats wrong with me#negative#vent#sorry i just. ive been really stressed out the last few days and i needed to get this out#i straight up dont know where this behavior comes from. its not like my parents were abusive or didnt let me have food??#its like im afraid to let myself enjoy things. who the fuck do i think is going to come and take it away or yell at me.#HAHA wow thats a wall of text huh. i should probably go to therapy!#if youre still reading this do not look upon my wretched form. i dont want you to think less of me for this
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stylesharrys · 2 months
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special brownies [weedrry]
summary: harry and y/n accidentally eat their roommates special brownies.
warnings: mentions and use of weed (edibles), being high, swearing, kissing, biting, unprotected sex, bit of dirty talk.
word count: 2,396
a/n: i came up with this idea very randomly and i have written it as fast as i possibly could lmao anyway, the whole thing is about accidentally getting stoned, so if that makes you uncomfortable, please don't read! if it doesn't, enjoy <333
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//
It’s been a long week and Y/N is feeling it. Between classes and shifts at the cafe, her feet are sore and her mind is tired. She wants nothing more than to cuddle up on the sofa with a good tv show and pass the fuck out.
And tonight is supposed to be her lucky night. Tom has a night shift and Harry has a hot date. No boys, no roommates, no interruptions.
There’s just something about knowing she’s got the flat to herself all night long, and she can lounge about like the lazy girlie her heart yearns to be.
She starts with a long, relaxing her aching body in the hot soapy water until her skin begins to prune. Y/N takes extra time to moisturise her body and brush her hair. Even treats herself to a face mask while she does so.
When she leaves the bathroom, it’s almost 7 p.m. and Tom has already left for work. The apartment is clean, and most importantly, quiet.
She’s a bit too excited in her movement to the sofa, a squeal slipping from her lips. Too caught up in her head, she doesn’t notice Harry leaning against his bedroom door, arms folded across his chest.
It’s not until he clears his throat that Y/N jumps out of her little happy dance with a scream. A smirk sits on his lips, amused by the way she scowls at him.
“What the hell are you doing here! You’re supposed to be out on a date!”
Her tone is accusing, pointer finger jabbing at the air in his direction. She notices his attire; grey shorts and a white hoodie. Y/N’s shoulders slump.
“You have got to be kidding me,” she huffs.
“What? I thought you liked hanging out with me?” Harry follows her to the sofa, sitting on  the opposite end of her.
Y/N crosses her arms furiously. “I do! But I was so excited to have the flat to myself for just one night.”
Harry’s brows are raised suggestively, that sick fucking smirk on his lips again. Y/N lunges a pillow at his face. “Not for those reasons, you perv.”
He barks out a laugh, hugging the pillow close to his chest as he props his feet up and on Y/N’s lap. He watches how her bottom lip pouts out and his face softens.
“Look, if you want me to fuck off out for the evening, I can.” Harry offers.
She scoffs. “That is what you were supposed to be doing.” A moment of silence passes and she sighs. “Sorry, that came out rude. I'm not about to kick you out of your own flat – though I am going to force you to watch the last three episodes of The Rookie with me.”
Harry makes no attempt to hide the groan that follows her words. It’s not that he doesn’t like the show, it’s that he hates the show. He’ll never understand Y/N’s weird obsession with emergency services.
First, it was Criminal Minds, then a month later she binge watched 9-1-1 Lone Star in six days. Now she’s on the newest season of The Rookie and he’s sure she only started season one at the beginning of the month?
“Do we have to?” he grumbles.
Y/N throws another pillow at him. “Yes. You’re the one interrupting my night, you could at least do it quietly… and with snacks.”
Her voice trails off at the end of her sentence and Harry has to bite back a grin. She could never be mad at Harry, she loves him and his company far too much. Tom, on the other hand… yeah, she would definitely be mad if it was him crashing her lazy girl night.
Harry stands from the sofa, wandering through to the kitchen. He grabs two bottles of water in one hand and scans his eyes through the cupboards in search for a suitable snack.
They’ve not been shopping for a few days, so there’s only some dry crackers, a half-eaten bag of cashew nuts (ew, Tom), and granola. Harry contemplates ubering some cookies and milkshakes when his eyes land on a bakery box on top of the microwave.
He squints as he reads the writing on the top of the box.
Tom’s. DO NOT EAT!
Harry flips the lid, six thick slices of dewey chocolate brownies. They’re like fucking slabs… he’s sure Tom won’t mind if he and Y/N share just one between them.
He pops a (massive) slice on a plate and toddles back to the kitchen. The show is paused on the opening scene, Y/N shuffled to get comfortable on the sofa. She raises a brow at the snack in question.
“We’re sharing a brownie?”
Harry huffs as he sits. “S’all we’ve got in the kitchen, and they’re Tom’s. Didn’t wanna take the piss when his little sticky note clearly says DO NOT TOUCH!”
Y/N snorts, breaking the brownie in half and handing Harry the bigger slice. She takes a bite, face screwing slightly.
“These taste a little funny… nutmeg, maybe?”
She turns to Harry who doesn’t say anything and still hasn’t taken the brownie. The look on his face irks her. She huffs, swallowing. “I feel bad that your date cancelled on you.”
His eyebrows almost raise to his hairline. “And what makes you think she was the one to cancel?”
“Was she?” Y/N asks.
Harry takes the brownie with a sigh. “Yeah.”
//
They can’t stop fucking giggling.
The show is long forgotten about, has been for the past thirty minutes. They’re both feeling warm. Harry stripped from his jumper and Y/N changed into some little shorts and one of Harry’s baggy t-shirts.
Neither of them know where this amusement came from, but there is absolutely no calming either of them down. They’re sneakily sharing a second slice of Tom’s brownies; eyes on the door in case for some reason, he comes home an hour after his shift has started.
“They taste so weird, but I can’t stop eating it.”
Harry chokes out a laugh, eyes welling with tears because he just finds Y/N so fucking funny tonight.
She’s a mess too, eyes squinted and shoulders hunched as she laughs uncontrollably. They’re both crossed-legged on the living room floor, knees knocking gently.
The more she chews, the more she begins to recognise that unfamiliar taste… the way it lingers on her tongue. Her laughter slows for a moment, as if realisation is beginning to dawn on her.
She stares at Harry with wide eyes and parted lips, mouth still full.
“Oh, my god.”
“What?”
“They’re fucking weed brownies!”
Harry can’t breathe, struggles to look away from the fear and shock on Y/N’s face. His whole body begins to shake with laughter and Y/N finds herself following.
“Harry, it’s not funny!” she shrieks. “This is so bad, Harry.”
She’s laughing through her words. Even she can’t take herself seriously in this state.
“D’you wanna play Just Dance?”
Harry’s words only make her laugh harder. The remainder of her brownie is thrown at his naked torso. Harry wastes no time to tackle her to the ground, hovering between her legs as he tickles her sides.
He's blowing raspberries on her neck, eliciting loud cackles from her mouth. Y/N tugs at his hair, her legs flailing around his hips when he nips at the skin on her throat.
They don’t say anything. She continues to chuckle, and Harry continues to bite.
Their laughter has fizzled out into breathy giggles. Neither of them are sure when Harry’s bites turned into kisses. When their fingers became intertwined. When her legs closed around his middle.
And neither of them say a fucking thing about it.
Harry’s lips travel up her neck and across her jaw. She finds his mouth feverishly, nothing but tongue and teeth but to the pair of them, it’s the best kiss they’ve ever had.
They’re needy, hot and wanton all of a sudden. Like a switch has been flipped and they’re clinging to one another like lifelines.
Harry holds her hands above her head, fingers tangled. He’s hard, rock hard. Pressing into Y/N’s tiny fucking shorts so much he’s sure he can feel her arousal through both of their clothes.
He ruts against her, testing the waters. The moan he receives sends all blood down south. He’s always known sex to be incredible when you’re high. The thought of him sharing it with her? God, he could bust there and then.
He releases her hands so he can feel up her thighs, skin hot and smooth. Their lips don’t separate, not once. She lets her hands fall into his curls, nails scratching at his scalp and she tugs at the roots.
Harry’s moaning into her mouth, eager and desperate for more. He takes her shorts off quickly and strategically. So quickly that she doesn’t notice until she feels a cool breeze between her thighs.
Y/N’s eyes roll to the back of her head, more than ready for whatever the fuck he wants to do to her.
They haven’t hesitated, not once. Not until Harry's hands are at the waistband of his shorts and he wonders if he should grab a condom or just go down on her. He knows she’s on the pill, just like they both know they’re both clean.
Harry gets tested once a month and Y/N doesn’t sleep around.
She answers his inner turmoil for him and tugs his shorts down the best she can. Harry breaks the kiss for a split second to tug his shorts to his knees. He’s back to kissing her as quickly as he pulled away, tongue against hers. Hot and messy.
Y/N feels his tip twitch against her clit, an airy sigh echoing into Harry’s mouth. He lets his fingers swirl around her wetness, smearing it across her smooth cunt and coating his thick shaft in her arousal.
They’re panting messes, eager, desperate and horny.
When he lines himself at her entrance, she locks her legs around his waist. Harry bumps forward, a shrill cry slipping from between their lips at the sensation of one another.
Harry wants to give her a moment to adjust, but Y/N doesn’t. She wants it hot and hard. She wants the pain. She wants to feel every fucking inch of him.
She probably should’ve warned Harry how she gets when she’s high. How much of a whiny, cock-hungry whore she can become. Then again, how was she supposed to know they’d accidentally eat their roommates special brownies?
“Jesus fucking Christ.” Harry chokes as he bottoms out.
Y/N’s struggling to catch her breath but she’s never loved the burn in her lungs more. “Fuck me, H.”
He twitches inside her. “Fuck me hard.”
His hips begin to roll, cock nuzzling itself deep inside her. He can feel everything. Every bump, dip, swell. God, she’s fucking soaked, leaking down to the floor but neither of them care.
Harry slowly begins to quicken his pace, arms bent at the elbows either side of Y/N’s head to prop himself up. She doesn’t loosen her legs around his hips. She needs him as close as he can possibly get.
Even his cock buried to the brim in her cunt isn’t enough. She needs his soul touching hers.
“You’re so fucking tight.”
“Yeah?” she breathes. “You gonna fuck my tight cunt, baby? Fuck me like you own me.”
He can’t believe his fucking ears. He’s always found Y/N attractive, but never in his wildest fucking dreams did he expect her to be this goddamn filthy.
Harry loves it.
His thrusts grow harsher. She has no time to catch her breath between hits, her mouth in a constant state of slack – eyes rolled back and eyebrows pinched.
“My perfect little cunt.” Harry seethes.
The noises of her pussy are like electric waves in Harry’s ears. He feels them in his soul, like sparks and jolts. He’s never felt more alive.
He’s fucking into her manically. Behind closed eyes all he can see shapes and colours of need and desire. Sex has always been good, always been great high. But this? Fuck, he’s never felt something so otherwordly.
He never wants it to end, wants to spend the rest of his life fucking her like a whore. She’s tugging his hair, likely making his scalp bleed but he loves it. He’d bleed a fucking river just to feel her cunt around him again.
“I’m gonna come!”
Her words awaken something animalistic within Harry. Like his life depends on feeling her release around him – like it’s what he was born to experience.
He chases her high, nipping and suckling on her neck, fucking into her cunt as fast as his restrained hips will allow. Y/N’s a blubbering mess, a sight Harry never wants to forget.
Fuck, he doesn’t think he could if he tried. This will forever be etched into his mind – her face, her body, her perfect cunt. Jesus, he’s never been so into sex in his life.
Her body begins to tremble uncontrollably, legs locked tight around his middle as she cries his name and pours over him.
Harry’s gruff and desperate moans mix with hers. She’s impossibly tighter, squeezing him; begging him to never let her feel anything but full ever again.
Harry wants to die buried in her cunt.
It takes every single fucking ounce of willpower he has to pull out and release across her thighs – painting the filthiest picture anyone could imagine.
It’s a struggle for either of them to catch their breaths. Hot and heavy panting that soon turns into light laughter, that even sooner, turns into contagious giggles.
Their bodies shake with every chuckle, Harry’s mouth ghosting hers until he nips on her bottom lip.
“We are never to talk about this, understood?”
He grins widely. “Whatever you want, Princess.”
She hums, eyes full of lust. Harry’s still achingly hard, despite coming more than he ever has before. He dips his head to her neck, sucking at her soft skin. His cock twitches against her thigh and she breathes deeply, blinks slowly.
“You wanna go again?” his voice is muffled by her neck.
She grins, legs wrapping back around his middle.
“Whatever you want, baby.”
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yanderemommabean · 14 days
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Have Yandere alphas Suku and Yuuji with omega reader Smut
(Reader has pussy but this has They them pronouns used! Some dirty talk, pussy slapping, and some forced orgasms and dubcon themes! All characters depicted are 18 and up! I hope you enjoy!)
Honestly, you have  no idea how things got this bad. First you were all having a nice little chit chat after a nice swim in the pool, then the next thing you know, you’re being held against Sukunas chest, arms to your sides, as Yuuji taunts and teases. 
Sukunas massive cock was spearing you open, eyes rolling back as every thrust was calculated and aimed to make your brain melt with pleasure, all while the other two act more or less unphased as they begin asking lewd questions. 
Your voice hiccups, trying to speak, but your face is so red as Sukuna pounds away even harder, biting and kissing along your neck to coax out more of those addictive little noises. You really had no idea how much these two craved you, how they wanted to breed you full over and over again, mark you as only theirs. It’s a good thing they’re getting started with that very lesson today and every day that follows. 
While Sukuna is usually the mean one, Yuuji is just being cruel, coming up to whisper in your ear as he teases your clit and feels you twitching and throbbing. “What if I used my tongue? Hmm? Would your perfect little pussy like that, Y/N? “ 
You can only yelp, wincing in pain mixed with burning pleasure when Yuujis hand comes smacking down again and making you see blinding white. “I said- would your greedy, slutty cunt want my lips on it? Hmm? Think if I tongue fuck you with Sukuna balls deep you can squirt for us?” 
You’re  just gasping for breath, brain malfunctioning as your cunt spasms and clenches, making Sukuna groan and purr in delight as he begins to drag out his strokes. “Oh ho ho, they want it baby brother. I can feel them squeezing me for all I’ve got. “
You whimper, pathetic and fed up, eyes slamming shut as your face burns a deep scarlet. You aren’t a whore! You aren’t! Not...Not like THAT anyway- 
"N-Not..not a-" you try  to protest, but it's cut off when Yuuji's tongue curls inside of you, slipping between Sukunas cock and your fluttering walls as you gasp and feel that burning coil tightening once again. There’s no way-no! That’s so-
Your brain malfunctions, feeling Yuuji's tongue swipe around in circles as Sukuna’s cock buries itself to the hilt, stretching you out and stuffing you like you crave. By the second, you can feel your resolve and composure melting away. 
"Mm hmm. Not a whore? Not a slut? Says the one creaming on our cocks and begging to be eaten out until they cry'' Yuuji snickers, using two fingers to stroke over Your clit a few times before he once again brings the palm of his hand down. 
"Now answer us. Answer ME. Do you want my mouth on your tasty little snatch? Or do I need to discipline you some more?". 
The heat in Yuujis words, the way Sukuna bit into your skin and rolled his hips so sinfully slow, staving off your orgasm once again. It's not fair- You aren't even given a real choice! You either agree or are punished until you say yes! 
Why does that turn you on so much?! 
"Y-Yes!" You more or less yelp, tensing up, feeling your breath being punched out of you almost when Sukunas hands come up to play with your nipples, that devilish smirk on his features as he meets Yuuji's eyes. "You heard them, Brat. Get to work. I want them covering my cock in their juices''.
Yuuji wastes no time, a drawn out groan passing his lips as he swirled his tongue around Your clit. He could never get enough of this, the taste, the way You moan and throw your head back, how you feebly try to push him away despite clearly enjoying it. It was so cute how you tried to deny yourself the pleasure the brothers could bring. 
“Love your sounds baby” Sukuna pants, looking down to see how Your stomach gains a slight bump with every roll of his hips. “Gonna make you so pretty, so round and full of pups. Fuck, you’re gonna be so full-”. 
“Pups?!” You whimper, trying to crawl away at that but being held down even tighter, your body forced to take the onslaught of pleasure as those filthy words make your stomach flutter. “W-We can’t! No! We-” You’re cut off, moaning deep and guttural as Yuuji's fingers are added, pressed directly inside of you. 
It’s too much, it’s too good, you can’t help yourself,  starting to have hiccuped breaths as Sukuna holds your hips firm. “We can. We’re going to. And you’re going to take it like a good little Omega.” 
The dam breaks. Sukunas thrusts, Yuuji’s mouth, the possessive and dirty words being growled into your ear- You come undone, pleasure so intense you have tears down your cheeks as you climax, slick spurting from your spasming cunt and covering Yuujis face. 
Yuuji is ravenous after that, pure alpha instinct taking over as he drinks in everything you have to give. Oh there’s no way in hell he’s ever passing on this experience ever again. He’ll tie You down and tongue fuck you that way if he must- 
Yuuji just snarls, holding your legs apart as his tongue drags over his slick covered lips. "Fuck! I want to see you knock them up- Quit moving! You're gonna stay right here and get that pretty pussy bred  deep ".
You can only mewl, your eyes rolling back as drool slightly dribbles from your lips, cunt clenching down /again/ and spasming as Yuuji holds your legs apart, watching as Sukuna breeds you possessively, like a beast staking a claim. 
And really, Sukuna is. To think You could ever have anyone else, it made both men incredibly, unstably jealous. 
"Fuck! Take it! Take it!" Sukuna nearly roars, being cruel like Yuuji as his fingers rub vicious circles around your sensitive clit, balls tightening and drawing up as his thrusts become more deep and greedy. “I'm gonna cum-Shit! Knocking you up, gonna breed you so fucking good-” 
His teeth latch onto Your throat, biting down aggressively as his cum spills into that warm, tight cunt, his cock pulsing and twitching with every rope he releases. 
Fuck.
He's ruined.  Nothing else could ever be as addictive as your soft, warm, tight cunt drinking all Sukuna has to give. 
"Fuck, just like that Y/N. You're doing so good. Gonna have that baby in you in no time, make you so round and soft and ours "
You take as many deep breaths as you can, chest heaving as sweat begins to cool on your skin. Words sound like water, everything is spinning, and all you can manage to make is soft little whines as Sukuna slowly slips out and watches as his cum leaks from your abused hole. 
Yuuji just smiles, pressing Your legs towards your chest as he presses his face closer to the mess, dragging his tongue up and down the cum covered folds, all while You hiss between your teeth and try to hide your face. 
“Mmm. It’s a shame your pussy hasn’t learned to hold onto every ounce of our cum…Guess we’ll have to train it then” 
-Mommabean (Hope you liked! Feel free to tell me your thoughts!)
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thelov3lybookworm · 25 days
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Tolerate It (Part 2)
Part 1
Summary: Everyting will be okay.
•○●⛦●○•
A/n: shes a lil small, but shes here hehe
(also creds to @mybestfriendmademe for giving me the idea for the part about fights and silence 🥹😚)
enjoy!
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Azriel had never been given the love a child should have received, and maybe that was the reason he thought himself undeserving of it.
Maybe it was his ugly hands and the way he knew that those hands would taint the beautiful, pure skin of his mate.
Whatever it was, he knew he had fucked up when he returned home to find the house empty, the usual warmth and happy aura that he had gotten used to being gone, the house now back to the desolate place it had been before she came along to light it up.
Azriel had realised how much of an ass he'd been to his mate the moment he left, and then decided that he would apologise and explain his behaviour when he returned home that night.
But then the house was empty, and the whole place void of the things that made him want to call it home, so Azriel had simply sighed, knowing he was at fault as he turned and flew to the river house.
Of course, his sister in law had glared holes into his back the entire time he had been begging Rhys to disclose Y/n's location, and even Rhys looked disgusted with his brother.
Defeated, Azriel knew she would not be found unless she wanted to be, so he decided to return and wait it out.
Just before he left the River house, he ordered his shadows to go search the whole of Velaris for Y/n.
"Leave her alone. Let her think this through. You fucked up brother, now let her decide if she wants to forgive you."
Azriel ignored Rhysand, taking off towards the home he used to share with her, now nothing but four walls and a roof to him.
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He knew he fucked up, he didn't need anyone to tell him that.
But still, no one left him be. No one let him wallow in his self hatred and pity.
They made it worse by fucking caring for him.
Cassian would visit Azriel, yell and fight, but then leave him food to eat because Azriel was so busy beating himself up over his actions that he had forgotten to eat anything.
Nesta would visit, starting to clean around the house without a word, and when Azriel would try to stop her, she would just glare at him and say the same few words. She did not like untidiness. I'm doing it for her.
Rhys had also stopped sending Azriel on missions, so that didn't help in any way considering Azriel had nothing to occupy his time with, ensuring him feeling guilty all the damn time.
Her silence made him curse himself more. Being an Illyrian, he was used to fights and arguments, but he wasn't used to being ignored. You either fought it out, or you killed in the camps. There was no other choice.
The quiet was too loud for Azriel, to the point he was convinced he was going mad.
It had been almost a week of him either staring up at his ceiling, wanting to just die, or bawling his eyes out in the bathtub, because then no one would see the tears that escaped his eyes.
Once again, Azriel could not help but think of how if he had just opened up to Y/n, let himself be vulnerable, cried in front of her as he told her of everything he had been through, he wouldn't have had to wipe his tears by himself.
Because then she would have wiped his tears for him, held him through the worst of nights, and kissed his sadness away.
But alas, he just had to continue being his thick skulled bastard self.
As he now stared at the half eaten apple Feyre had shoved into his hand when she stopped by his house on her way to the art studio, his heart stopped.
No. Some of us must stay back with him.
It doesn't matter. He will cry anyway. We must go to her.
She doesn't need all of us right now.
His head whipped to where a couple of his shadows hovered nearby, his eyes wide, breath hitched in his throat.
The apple tumbled from his slack grip.
"What..."
The shadows froze, then frantically hurried away, slipping through the space under the door, the couch, the window.
And Azriel could do nothing but sit back, a broken breath escaping him at the realisation that the shadows had known all along where she had been, but had kept the knowledge from him.
They were, after all, their own being, not to be commanded but placated.
After long moments of silence, Azriel got up from the couch and slid to his knees, his head hung low in defeat.
Please, he begged.
Please.
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A startled gasp jolted Azriel from the trance he'd been in, and he raised his head to find himself staring into the eyes of his beloved, the eyes he had tried so hard not to become familiar with in case she saw the truth one day, realising he did not deserve her.
Azriel stared, and stared.
And continued staring until she spoke up.
"Az- what are you doing here?"
Azriel blinked, feeling something- presumably a tear- escape his eye as he glanced around. "I... I don't-"
His shadows hissed at him before he could continue, and he paused.
"I wanted to apologise."
Her eyes, that were hard until now, softened. Whether it was at the sound of his broken voice, the state of his being, or the tears streaming down his face without him realising, he didn't know.
And he didn't care as he took in her form, clad in an oversized shirt- his shirt- and nothing else, her hair unbound and messy, the soft skin of her legs on full display for him.
Slowly, he raised his eyes to meet hers, where tears now accumulated.
"Oh Az." She mumbled, stepping forward towards his kneeling, hunched form.
"Forgive me my love. I love you, I love you so so much, I'm sorry, I didn't-"
Azriel's chest heaved as he reached his hands out, trying to grab at Y/n's shirt, but she walked forward without any prompting. Mirroring his position, she knelt in front of him, tugging him into her chest as his hands scrambled to hold her back, panicked as if she was going to vanish any moment.
It was getting harder to take a breath, tears constantly streaming down his face, any and all air he could take into his lungs escaping in startling gasps, emptying his body, lightening his head-
"Shh, take a deep breath with me."
It was nearly impossible, but he tried. Opening and closing his mouth, trying to get his lungs to work, expanding his chest voluntarily in hopes it would help.
When that didn't work, he shoved his head into the stretch of skin connecting her neck to her collarbone, letting himself drown in the unique scent of his mate.
Finally, his lungs started working again, if only to have her scent dominate all his other senses.
"It's okay, you're okay." She was still mumbling, her body so warm and welcoming as she remained wrapped around him, comforting his cold self.
"It's not." He whispered back, squeezing his eyes shut. "I'm-"
"Sorry, I know." She rubbed her hand down his back. "And I am sorry too, for leaving instead of talking it out. But now, I'm ready. I'm sure we can work things out, right?"
He nodded frantically, pulling back to show her how sincere he was being, his head tilted back to look her in the eye. She smiled at him softly, brushing his hair back from his face, quiet understanding on her face.
"It will all be okay."
It will be.
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Acotar Taglist: @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless @harrystylesfan2686 @cassie6392 @kennedy-brooke @tele86 @miluiel1 @hnyclover @minnieoo @sidrapotter @piceous21 @mybestfriendmademe @saltedcoffeescotch @eve175 @starsinyourseyes @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @cumuluscranium @byyalady @lilah-asteria @girlswithimagination @gardenofrunar
Azriel Taglist: @darthdumbasss @foreverrandomwritings @azrielsmate3 @celestialend @stqrgirlies-blog @tele86 @bakananya @xyzmeh @st4r-girl-official @caraaaaugh @nacho-nat @allllium @fandomarchiveilyd
Tolerate it taglist: @anuttellaa @willowpains @blackgirlmagicforever @isa1b2h3 @helloevilmuffins @bunnyredgirl @hellsenthero @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @fxckmiup @honeybee54321 @nahimgoodmom @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @sweetcarolina-24 @misskennygirl @macel625 @justyouraveragekleemain @its-sam-allgood
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woso-dreamzzz · 2 months
Text
Help
Hardersson x Teen!Reader
Summary: You're struggling a bit
*TW for eating disorder*
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You didn't know when exactly it started but you knew it was here to stay.
"You not that hungry?" Millie asks as you sit down next to her for lunch.
Being the youngest member of the team had its perks and this definitely wasn't one of them. Everyone else got to choose where to sit for lunch while your older teammates made you sit with them.
You shrug. "Upset tummy."
It's not exactly a lie. Your stomach churned at the idea of having to eat a big meal (having to eat at all, actually) and it was uncomfortable. But it was uncomfortable not eating as well. You had hunger pangs almost every moment of your waking life.
Eat or not eat.
Pain or pain.
"Are you sick?" Millie asks, brow furrowed as she looks at you," You look a bit sickly."
You knew what she was talking about. You used to be able to control your eating well but you had spiralled recently. You felt ill even looking at the buffet earlier and you refused to even contemplate putting more than one thing on your plate.
It had been like this for weeks now and you knew everyone could see it.
Your skin had taken on a waxy pallor. Your nails had gone brittle and your hair was thinning at an alarming rate.
You hope that everyone just thinks you're sick. You push your food around with your fork before cutting it up into smaller pieces. You had a handle on this. You would get a handle on this.
"Bad night's sleep," You offer to Millie and she takes the bait, nodding like she understood what you were saying.
"Who had a bad night's sleep?" Your captain slid into the seat on your other side, with Pernille taking the seat on her right.
"y/n," Millie says," It's why she looks ill."
"You've been having a lot of those," Magda says, eyes narrowed as she watches you.
You try to be casual but with her and Pernille's eyes on you, you feel like you're under the microscope. You take a small bite of your food, trying not to wince when it tastes of nothing but ashes. You reach for your drink.
"It happens," You say diplomatically. You don't want to give anything away.
Magda and Pernille were protective of you anyway. You didn't want them to know this. They barely let you live on your own. You didn't want to be under their gaze all the time.
"Hmm," Magda hums, still looking at you and you load more food onto your fork.
You lift it up like you're about to eat before moving it back down onto your plate again.
"I heard that Emma's planning new drills. Is it true?"
Your question distracts Magda, who huffs and starts eating her own food. Her gaze is torn away from you as she mutters things under her breath.
You don't pick your fork back up.
Your hunger pangs worsen the more time goes on. You'd barely eaten lunch and you hadn't eaten breakfast either. You just tried to fill your stomach with water, leading to a semi-impressive feeling of bloating while also being able to feel it all slosh around in your belly.
Actually, now that you think about it as you run through drills and complete your sprints, you're not too sure when the last time you ate a full meal.
Did energy bars count as full meals?
Because you ate an energy bar during the break between drills.
Either way, it doesn't seem to be working now. Black spots appear in your vision and you have to stop moving so you can stay on your feet. You scratch at your neck, somehow feeling completely dehydrated even though you know that you had drank water not even five minutes ago.
"Hey." You don't even realise Pernille's holding your waist until she speaks. "Are you okay? You're swaying."
Her eyes look worried and you try to nod but it only makes you feel worse, more black spots appearing before you go almost completely limp.
"Okay," Pernille says softly even though she's panicking on the inside," Let's sit down, okay? We're just going to sit down."
But you don't have enough strength to sit down and you've lost consciousness almost the moment you touch the ground.
"Hey!" Pernille calls out," I'm going to need some medics!"
She checks your pulse even though she's got a feeling she already knows what's happened. Magda can be distracted but Pernille can't.
She's noticed your general wariness at lunch, the way you talk more than eat and how you play around with your food. She knows that you're not eating breakfast too just by the way you ate a cereal bar this morning.
You're sixteen so you're not exactly great at cooking either so Pernille's also sure that you're not eating well at home either.
She knew that she should have put her foot down when you moved from Vittsjö to Chelsea. She knew she should have made you move in with her and Magda.
"We need to get her inside," One of the medics say.
You're almost too light in Pernille's arms as she lifts you and carries you inside.
"Is she okay?" Magda runs over to join them.
"She's not been eating." Pernille feels confident in what she thinks. "So, no, Magda, she's not okay." She lays you down on the physio bed, running a hand through her hair in frustration. "I don't care what she says, she's not okay and she's not going home alone."
Magda's a little dense sometimes. "Who's she going home with? Is someone on the way?"
"Us, Magda. She's coming home with us and she'll be lucky if I ever let her out of my sight again. You've still got the spare bedroom made up, right?"
"Exactly as we left it," Magda says.
She looks down at you. You look much younger than your sixteen years as you rest on the bed. You've never passed out before to Magda's knowledge and your skin looks almost translucent as you lay there.
"She'll come around soon," The medic promises," Get her energy levels up and take her home. She needs rest." He glances around. "And I'll set up a meeting with the nutritionist for next week."
"I've got some trail mix in my bag," Magda offers," I'll grab some."
You come around slowly, blinking your eyes and squinting as you adjust to the light.
"Are you going to yell at me?"
"Why?" Pernille says," Have you done something that I need to yell at you for?"
She helps you sit up, jamming a water bottle between your lips so you can rehydrate before Magda dumps a bag of trail mix into your hands.
You hold it there.
"Eat."
"I'm not hungry."
"Eat," Your captain says firmly," We're not leaving until you've eaten at least half."
You have to fight to roll your eyes.
Fine, you'll play their game, nibbling on the nuts and fruit as you think of some topic to distract them both.
Only Magda doesn't let you speak.
"I don't want to hear any arguments," She says," You're staying with me and Pernille now. We've got your room ready and you'll be eating three square meals a day and snacks."
Your stomach drops. Your throat goes dry.
"What?"
Your mind works in overdrive as you try to come up with some way to make Magda change her mind. You end up deciding that the best course of action is pretending that it's all a joke.
"That's funny," You say," Is this a weekend thing or something? Because I have plans that I can't miss."
Magda's face hardens and you decide that looking at Pernille is obviously safer.
(It's not).
She looks equally as angry, if not more so than Magda. Her arms are crossed over her chest as she stares you down.
You're getting the distinct feeling that you're caught in a bear trap.
"You're a good kid," Pernille says finally as she watches you shovel trail mix into your mouth just so you had something to do," And you're so talented. I don't know what's going on but we're here to help you."
"Nothing's going on."
"There is," Pernille says firmly," And that's okay. We're going to help you."
You stand up quickly, too quickly perhaps because you wobble uncertainly on your feet and Magda has to guide you back to a sitting position.
But you still try to salvage your wounded pride.
"I'm fine. I don't need help."
"You do," Magda says," And I'm sorry that we didn't realise sooner."
"I..." Tears spill down your cheeks against your will. "I don't need help."
"We're going to help you anyway."
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evilminji · 4 months
Text
You know one of the purposes of Lining?
Shock Absorption.
If the Zone is the Inter- and EXTRA-Dimensional Lining, connecting, containing, and generally powering all of Multiversal Creation? The Great Primordial Soup? The Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust, from which we came and too which we return?
If the Zone itself is basicly the place between Universe, where your soul goes to get washed down, cleaned up, recharged, and sent out to wherever the next random portal takes it? To BECOME whatever you happen to find? An infinte recycler and Multiversal management?
The great metaphorical Yggdrasil, grown far beyond few branches, into an incomprehensible forest of one?
Well!
That kinda changes things! And also nothing! Because it means that those who remain? Are basicly squatting in the DMV's attic. Have built bunkers, under the country's main power generator. They really SHOULD move along. Granted, there is no one to MAKE them... but like...
That's cause no one thought anyone would NEED too?
Lol. Don't they feel silly? Anyway, I'ma put MY house over-! *wander off to go squat in the rafters*
Yeah, the CONCEPTS are native. But those probably just generate naturally. It's all the Souls constantly flowing through. Lots of background Sentience and Memories and such being washed away into the air. But? Then these lil souls were like "yeah, but if THEY get to stay... me too! D:< " "no, you can-" "ME TOO" and then they stopped listening and did what they wanted.
Good thing we have literally infinte amounts of room.
T...there's so MANY, you guys.
But! Not the point here!
*smacks white board* Realities! The Die too sometimes! And get born! A beautiful process, really. You can find Reality Beads if you know When and Where to look, some times. They, OBVIOUSLY, don't last for very long. Since they are basicly just seed universe. The explosive growth takes them almost immediately out of our range of perception, as they Begin.
Foundations of all Life and such.
But good God are they MAGNIFICENT!
However, sometimes? The REVERSE happens. If you find the area of the Zone your in? Is getting... "wavey" is the best way people describe it. Distorted. Fun house mirror. As though your vision has weird wrinkles that are distorting and stretching your view of things? Get Out. FAST.
If it's only SLIGHT? Barely noticeable? You can grab your Lair. IF, and ONLY IF you are NEARBY! If not? Remember. Things can be replaced. YOU? Can not.
Cause that "wavey"-ness? Is the final stage of Realm Entropy. The universe that portion over the Zone is covering and connected too, is all hollowed out. And about to CAVE IN. You DO NOT want to be there when that happens!
Remember! You see "waves"? Fly for three days!
Get to the edge of the affected area then KEEP GOING for a full three days flight. Warn everyone in you path. We stay safe together, guy. Collapses are NO JOKE. People get... well. Let's just say it's NOT a nice way too go.
Knowing this of course? We should all be SAFE right? Respectful if Awed distance from Reality Seeds, run like he'll if "waves"? We Gucci?
.....Sooooorta.
*flips Whiteboard to other side, to reveal a cartoonishly drawn Supervillian labeled "Asshole"*
Behold! A Terrorist!
It's a charged word. Not used lightly. But THESE fuckers? Oh ho ho! THESE fuckers?! "Ooooh~! Look at MEEEEE! I'm gonna play with FORCES I DONT UNDERSTAAAAAAAND! Destabilize my whole funckin UNIVERSE! Kill countless TRILLIONS OF TRILLIONS! Cause life was bad to me personally and I'm mad about it! Wah wah wah!!" ASSHOLES!
These fuckers? Cause Collapses. Blow Outs. Weird Fucked Up Cancerous Real Growths. You ever seen the Cleaners? No? You don't WANT TOO. They are basically eldritch, deep sea, angler fish looking mother fuckers THE SIZE OF SOLAR SYSTEMS. They travel in SCHOOLS.
BIG ONES.
When Realities collapse, they "fall off" as it were. Detach. And have to get recycled. All the countless impurities of Life eaten way to a blank slate. So it too, can start again. Thus the Fish. But! They ALSO eat anything "problematic".
Like tumors. Cancers. Poisoned, Multiversal Threats. Those quote on quote "God Killers".
Yes. Yes this IS part of why you DONT want to be near a Collapsing Reality.
No I WON'T explain how I know.
I DONT WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.
*smack the board with pointer* pay attention.
Jason Todd. Not! An Asshole. Sexy thighs. Fancy lil hair strip. We all miss him. But! He's off living his "no really, I'm totally alive, guys" hot girl summer or whatever. We are going to respect that! But!!! How did that happen? When he was DEFINITELY Hella dead?
Superboy Prime-y Pants. Who IS an ASSHOLE.
Because THAT fucker? PUNCHED HIS REALITY SO HARD IT NEARLY SHATTERED. Oh, no, I'm sorry! He punched SOMEONE ELSE'S reality! Because he is a tantruming MAN CHILD! And NOW? Now, Your Majesty, that WHOLE ASS Reality is more hair line cracks then border walls! One good shove? It'll cave in. Killing every soul inside.
The Cleaners are ALREADY circling.
It needs to be patched. Immediately. But that's not something normal ghosts can DO. The Zone won't LISTEN to us. Nor allocate the energy for it. The Concepts of Healing? We can't even FIND them.
We need help.
Please help them, King Phantom. You're the only one who CAN.
@hdgnj @babbling-babull @hypewinter @ailithnight @mutable-manifestation @nerdpoe @the-witchhunter
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delirious-donna · 2 months
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A Shaky Arrangement [Part Three]
story summary: Your best friend lets you crash at her place over the spring break since you have nowhere else to go. Little did you know that it isn't actually her place. Instead, it belongs to a tall (grumpy) hot guy who finds you in his apartment–her brother.
chapter summary: You've nowhere else to go, surely he wouldn't kick you out so easily? You are so very attractive after all...
pairings: Nanami Kento x female reader
warnings: sibling bickering, mentions of food, SFW
Part Two | Series Masterlist | Part Four
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Kento scowled.
He sat stiffly on the leather couch that occupied most of the living room space, watching as you took container after container out of a brown paper bag with a grease stain pooling at the bottom. The desire to march to the kitchen and find the surface spray and kitchen towel to wipe up any damage to his coffee table was rampant. But he didn’t. He sat still with a growing grimace.
“You think you could stop scowling at me?” you said from your spot on the floor, sitting cross-legged with your back to him. “I can feel your distaste crawling up my spine.”
“I am not scowling,” he lied mulishly.
“Yes, you are, but whatever. I did ask if you wanted to add anything to the order. You were the one to turn your nose up at Chinese takeout. I guess you’re used to the finer things in life, Mr Nanami.”
His mouth opened to respond, but he snapped it shut just as quickly. He would not get into a petty argument over his preference of cuisine. The sinking feeling of resignation reared its head once more. Could he honestly share his apartment with you for the next two weeks without you both at each other’s throats?
“Remind me again why am I even considering hosting you?” He half hissed, pinching the bridge of his nose, and sat forward in his seat until his elbows were braced upon his knees.
You paused. The chopsticks you were using to pile rice onto an expensive-looking plate froze in midair. At last, you twisted your neck to look around, adopting a sheepish expression.
He was right, as annoying as that fact might be.
This was his home, and he had every right to send you on your merry way, whether you had somewhere to stay or not–the latter being the case. You were sharply reminded of his stricken features when you explained your plight. How he had grabbed up the glass which you had just finished draining of whatever potent amber liquor he preferred and went looking for a refill. A large one. A large one which he swallowed in one long gulp.
Kento had the same eyes as his sister, Karin. They were rich hazel, and they had the strange ability to lighten or darken depending on their mood. They crackled like popping logs in a roaring hearth when joyful or amused and darkened to the deepest mahogany when angered or upset. This you noticed as he questioned you over and over, his fingers running ruefully through his hair and those eyes that followed your every nervous jerk or twitch became pits of darkness.
“Sorry,” you said quietly. “Are you sure I can’t tempt you into sharing something with me? I ordered way too much, there will be leftovers for days if you don’t.” It was your version of a peace offering. Anything to prevent him from backtracking on the shaky agreement you had reached.
Kento’s nose wrinkled in distaste at the thought of leftovers crowding his fridge and the smells that might permeate into the fresh produce or homemade meals that were labelled and waiting to be eaten.
With a long sigh, he lowered himself to the floor and sat by your left elbow. “Fine. It is probably wise for me to put something other than alcohol in my stomach anyway. Serve yourself what you want and I’ll have what is left.”
“Aye, captain!”
“Don’t do that,” he scolded, rolling his eyes at your salute, but there was no heat in the words. If anything, he was amused and you smiled knowingly to yourself as you began to dig into the meal.
He must be truly mad to be entertaining this prospect, but there was something he liked about you, even if he tried his best to deny it. You pushed back against him. It was refreshing. Kento enjoyed your quick wit and the ease with which you conversed with him. Sure, it was often at his expense but it was enjoyable in a way it never had been before.
As the youngest ever senior partner at work, he commanded respect from all. The junior partners and even those on the governing board often bowed their heads in reverence when in his presence. Yet it wasn’t so long ago that he had been a fresh-faced college graduate eager to reach his current lofty heights and he wondered absently if you possessed the same drive and determination. You certainly weren’t easily intimidated.
“Do you have a girlfriend, Mr Nanami?”
So lost in thought, Kento almost missed your question. It took him a moment to process and when it finally hit home, he nearly choked on his bite of peking duck.
“Excuse me?” he spluttered, banging a fist on his chest to clear the blockage in his throat.
Your cheeks warmed in amusement, impishly shrugging whilst you toyed with the remnants on your plate. It had been on your mind for a little while now. Your host was handsome—a thought you kept coming back to no matter how hard you tried to ignore it.
“I said, do you have a girlfriend?” you repeated.
“I don’t see what business that is of yours.”
He busied himself with rolling back the sleeves of his pristine white button up. Your lips quirked before you blew out a puff of air.
“Come on. It’s a simple question, no? Since you’ve agreed to give me a place to stay, surely I should know if I might run into someone else whilst I’m here.”
You had a point, and that bugged him. He was about to answer when you went on, nudging your elbow into his side and he caught a whiff of his body wash on your skin.
“Boyfriend then?” You baited him, though there would be no shame in it if he were more inclined towards his own sex. Other than perhaps the briefest disappointment. No! Shut that down now, you thought to yourself.
“Neither. If you must know.” He levelled an unimpressed stare in your direction and wiped his hands on a napkin.
How annoying the flare of hope that illuminated in your chest upon hearing his answer was. It had no place here, and you did your best to flatten your features into neutrality. You failed.
“I do, however, have a cleaner that visits each morning for a few hours to keep the place how I like it. I will alert Mrs McGarden that I have a guest so that she doesn’t enter your room without consent.” He nodded his head as if that was the end of the matter, trying and failing not to notice how you chewed your lip as if you were deep in thought. Cute.
“Speaking of rooms…” you trailed off as the first wave of tiredness hit you square in the face. It was early by your standards but the day had been filled with ups and downs like nothing you’d experienced before. “Where will I be sleeping?”
It was an innocent enough question, or you had meant it that way, but the lull that Kento left hanging over you both felt thick with something tangible but unknown. Right now your suitcase was still spread open wide on what you now knew to be his bed and you surely wouldn’t be sleeping there.
Before he could answer, his phone rang from the kitchen island, shrill and loud. “Excuse me a moment,” he said, hurriedly moving for the device and slipping down the hallway until he was out of sight.
“I can explain! Don’t yell.” The familiar voice said the second the phone was to his ear. Karin had finally braved his wrath and called back.
“I’ll give you two minutes.”
“Kento! I am not one of your underlings. Not that it matters, shut up. What was I saying?” Karin hissed through the phone and even without seeing her he knew that she was pushing hair out of her face as she always did when she was flustered or annoyed.
He sighed and silently counted to three. “Two. Minutes. Explain.”
“You’re meant to be out of the country, why aren’t you? I didn’t think you’d ever find out,” she hurried on, not waiting for an answer. Kento had long since known when not to interrupt his sister in full flow. “Mrs McGarden assured me that she would keep silent and I was only trying to help out a friend. She tried to refuse my offer. Said she’d find a couch or two to sleep on instead, can you imagine? You haven’t… kicked her out, have you?”
“I was firmly coerced into taking a vacation instead of attending the conference hence my presence. It seems I need to have words with Mrs McGarden as to where her loyalties lie, and no, I have not kicked your friend out,” he answered the questions in the order they were given, turning on the spot in his bedroom. “Though I have been sorely tempted,” he lied.
Karin audibly harrumphed. “Don’t lie, Kento, it’s not a good trait.”
“Who says I’m lying?”
“Oh, whatever. I don’t have time for your little temper tantrum. Y’know… I think she might be a good influence on you, relax you a little. You’re on vacation so maybe spend some time with your guest? She is very dear to me and I’ve got a lot of explaining to do since I never mentioned you to her.”
Kento could hear the genuine worry in her voice and it cooled some of the fires of his anger. His shoulders slumped and half-heartedly he agreed, even if he didn’t have any intention to do as Karin suggested. He would keep to himself and hope that you did the same.
He returned to the living room but found it empty. Glancing to the side he found you in the kitchen washing up the plates and humming. For a moment he simply stood and watched. Considering he had only just met you, he didn’t mind seeing you in his space and the words of his sister echoed in his mind.
“You didn’t need to do that,” he stated, finally making his presence known once more.
Smiling, you shrugged him off. “It was the least I could do, don’t worry about it.”
“Uh, Karin sends her apologies for the mixup. She assures me that she will make it up to you and explain everything when you see her next. Shall we pick a room for you now?”
Your chin jutted out, a wrinkle forming between your eyebrows at the mention of his sister. Kento could tell that Karin was going to be in for hell, and rightly so, when you reunited.
“Yes please, I’m pretty tired after… well, you know,” you stammered with an awkward laugh.
He did indeed know, though he would rather forget. Instead, he held out his arm for you to step ahead of him and followed you discreetly towards the two bedrooms that you could choose from.
The first was on the right and nearest to the living space, this was the room that Karin occupied when she visited and her mark was firmly stamped upon the interior. Kento watched from just outside the doorway as you tried and failed not to wince at the baby blue walls and the mountains of overstuffed pillows piled atop a cream bedspread with lace and frills.
In the corner stood her old dollhouse, untouched and in pristine condition thanks to a certain cleaner with whom he still needed to have several words with. You froze before it, curiosity lighting in your eyes and slowly you bent to inspect through the windows where the tiny families resided.
Before he could speak, you whirled around and brushed past with a soft apology for coming so close to him. Again, he could smell his body wash on you and he liked it even more this time.
“I don’t think this room will do,” you mused with downcast eyes.
“Not fond of dolls?” he guessed in what was more meant to be a joke but your guilty expression told him he had hit the nail on the head.
“There is another room, but… it’s next to my own. I hope you won’t mind?” Kento stalked forward and tilted his head in the direction of the room next to his.
You trotted after him and away from the prying eyes of the dolls in their fancy house, vowing silently not to enter that room again. You reached for him, anxious fingers clinging to the shirt encasing his bicep and tugging like a frightened child might do. It was his turn to freeze, his stare fixed on where you held him until he found your eyes and questioned the gesture without a word.
“You won’t tell her, will you? I just…” You shook your head and feigned a smile, you were being silly after all. “Nightmares as a child, that’s all.”
“My lips are sealed.” He smiled kindly until your hand fell away. “Now, come inside and see if this will do.”
He didn’t know what he’d do if it wasn’t, although he didn’t expect you were an overly demanding house guest even with the little he knew about you. He wasn’t above giving you his bed if it were necessary but it would be a last resort.
This room was decorated in soft pastel shades that were far less bright than the blue of Karin’s. The bed was turned down with what appeared to be an identical grey duvet to the one in the master bedroom.
There was a small vanity set opposite the window and a writing desk in the far corner. Everything was neutral in here, wiped clean as if it had never been occupied and it made you feel safe and warm.
“It’s perfect.”
Sitting on the corner of the bed, you glanced at Kento who stood respectfully in the door. He wasn’t looking at you, instead his eyes were wandering as if he were checking everything was clean enough. His frame filled the doorway, shoulders broad and imposing. Except you didn’t find him imposing, and that was the problem.
He must be at least five years older than you, not that you cared, you were a young woman not a teenager. You were reminded of how long you had gone without a boyfriend or even a lover. One night stands and casual situationships were never your thing so it had been some time since you had last felt an attraction like you did now.
This whole day felt like a fever dream.
You needed to rein in your train of thoughts but it was hard when Kento took a step deeper inside and the air seemed suddenly thick like syrup. His hands were deep in his pockets and finally he blew out a breath, making it easier for you to breathe too.
“If you’re sure. I’ll go grab your suitcase and bag for you,” he offered quietly.
It had to be your imagination but it seemed like he was struggling as much as you were. Although likely for a different reason. You were an unexpected guest and he very much seemed the type of person who was set in routine. You nodded your thanks and let him slip away.
“He is your best friend’s brother, get your act together woman! Stop lusting over him,” you scolded yourself in a hushed whisper.
It was going to be a long two weeks, that was for sure.
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mysacredmuse · 3 months
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more about loser in love Aventurine <3 (hopefully this is more articulated, last thing I wrote was literally a 2 minute brainstorm with no coherency lol), kinda a mix of pre-relationship and loser in love bf Aventurine :3 of course, this is all lovingly and lighthearted :)
let me know if you'd like more or share your own thoughts! also, I want to write a bit about soft bf! Aventurine, biting my hands so hard not to do it here because . . . thoughts are too loud
dividers by @/cafekitsune :)
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Panics with no filter as soon as you are out of his sight. You could be walking down the street together when suddenly something catches your attention making you quickly run away from him. Aventurine will literally freeze for a moment, anxious eyes looking for you as the only thing that slips past his lips is "where are you? where did you go?" as he turns his head around hoping for the best. As he finally spots you, a huge sigh of relief leaves his body. He would scold you with such seriousness, how dare you leave him behind without a word? He isn't a babysitter to watch your every move, so try and behave!
As soon as you reply to him, explaining that you don't need a babysitter, fully capable of taking care of yourself and that he is just an overreacting drama king...he just gasps. How dare you ruin his only method of making himself seem semi-normal? Anyhow, he ignores your rationality and the fact you are not dependent on him in a way that he is on you, in the process making a new decision - as this happens...a lot, he decides to use it as an oppprtunity and a lame excuse for you to hold his hand every time you go out together.
He tries to act like it's not a big deal, but internally he is all over the place as the two of you walk holding hands. (he will get teased for this years later)
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He is also a needy for attention type of loser with no personal space who texts you all the time. When he isn't texting, he would call you anytime he can, which seems to be a lot. Even if there is nothing to have a conversation about, he is just asking the same questions...over and over again.
"so, what are you doing?"
"mhm, have you eaten?"
"how are you feeling?"
"mhm, is there anything new going on?"
"mm, sooooo, what are you doing?"
"that sounds fun! anyways, do you miss me?"
You can swear that he kicks his feet anytime you talk over the phone or text. But when you explain to him that you don't have to talk to each other all the time, he is slightly offended and sassy. What do you mean by that? Are you bored of him? Is he simply not worth your time anymore? Fine...he will stop doing it so much. . .for about 2 hours perhaps (his personal record! are you proud?) and then he will continue in his old ways.
Don't be mistaken, he does understand that you need your own time and if you put up a genuine boundary he will certainly respect it. It's just that when it's more playful and chill time, he uses it to the fullest because he is a needy man.
Bonus: Aventurine loves sending you videos that remind him of you or the two of you, especially those little cute animals videos where they cuddle, the little art videos and those adorable encouraging pics (definitely not a loser for this, just thought it was cute as hell)
Bonus 2: anytime you send him a picture of yourself, he puts it as his background. Replies "screaming crying throwing up, pls one chance pls pls pls", somehow you manage not to take it seriously which makes him even more desperately in love
Bonus 3: he saves your contact by some silly, yet cute nickname while adding 50388383 emojis and hearts (preferably the ones that are in your favorite color). He says it's a joke, but...but...well.
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Desperate, pathetic, miserable, needy, so sickly in love, he absolutely NEEDS you. He can't take it.
Once you get more comfortable with each other, not even fully in a relationship, this man clings onto you like it's his last day alive. Wrapping his arms around your forearm, playing with your fingers if you are distracted, hugging you from behind anytime you stop walking (yes, even while waiting for a green light to cross the road), throwing his thigh over yours anytime you sit somewhere together, takes any chance to lay on your lap and begs you to play with his hair. He is the type of mess up something, get on his knees and hug your legs until you forgive him. He is also the type to do that...for no reason at all actually. Simply because he wants attention and he loves being close to you.
Anytime he has to go and do something by himself, you can tell how pissy he is afterwards. He walks up to you with an evident disappointment and annoyance on his face, quickly grabbing your hand as he mutters how idiotic it is to have to use the toilet. Let's not even mention when he needs to be by himself for longer periods of time.
Speaking of that, he would also question whether you missed him or not after 2 minutes of separation. You sure did? Hm, is that sarcasm? He doesn't care, he will take it as long as it confirms it. He just wants you to miss him and need him as much he misses and needs you.
Bonus (not really a loser): Now, in a relationship, Aventurine needs you to have eyes for him only as he does for you. Only him and nobody else. He wants you to want him, he needs you to need him and he must feel the desire and love you have for him. He mentions multiple times, you can do whatever you want with him however you want, if you wish to use him as a plaything for a while - he is perfectly okay with that, but the one rule he has is to be your only plaything. His desperation comes cute in certain departments, however...there is a lot of work awaiting in order to teach this man what is a healthy relationship.
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He actually confesses his love for you properly when he gets sick. A mild cold, slight fever - should be gone in a few days, if not less. But no! He is certain that this is the end. Immediately sends you tons of panicky messages how you need to come see him immediately. So you do, first time taking him quite seriously.
Only to be met with his red stuffy nose twitching as he tries not to sneeze in the middle of his confession. He is so serious and determined that it makes a laugh stuck in your throat as he slowly explains himself, barely able to take deep breaths, not even looking at you. Talking about all the memories, the feelings, the thoughts he ever had with or about you.
"The only thing that I regret is that I am doing this too late."
He is so melodramatic, coughing loudly afterwards as he finishes up his actually heartwarming confession.
You can't help but giggle at the man in front of you, gently urging him to lay down, not exactly replying to his confession yet, but only mentioning how you will make him some soup and tea. He just nods, a bit exhausted from the all-nighter he pulled to come up with his excellent (miserable) confession. Next thing you know, he is fast asleep, hand mindlessly reaching for yours and as soon as he finds it - he brings it to his chest, almost hugging it. Moments like these are very special to you as he becomes more vulnerable and more himself. He will certainly get your own confession as soon as he gets better and least to say, you are the one to make the full first move since he is just...in shock the whole time. But, that's something to unpack some other time.
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markster666 · 3 months
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KINKTOBER (Except in February) - ALASTOR X READER - DAY #3 (Begging)
Pairing: Alastor x Fem!Reader
Tags: Kinktober, One-Shot, 18+, Smut, NSFW, Flirting, Teasing, Not a lot of plot, begging, face-fucking, getting eaten out, praise, Master kink
Fandom: Hazbin Hotel
Word Count: 424
A/N: To make up for the delay of day #2 yesterday, ya'll get day #3 early. Also because I have a concert tonight and won't be very active all afternoon LOL. Anyways enjoy <33 Unedited, so apologies for any spelling mistakes.
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"Alastor!"
You groan out in frustration as he slides his tongue across your collarbone, making his way up to your neck. He's been teasing you on and off all day, randomly coming behind you and grapping your hips, whispering how darling you look, how he wishes he could rip your outfit off right then and there and take you in front of everybody.
You were getting fed up and just wanted him to fuck you already.
"Hush, my Dear, good things come to those who wait."
He nipped your neck gently and you let out a small gasp. His hips grinded against you, inherently pinning you to the wall. He then got on his knees and slowly pulled your pants down along with your panties. He tucked his claws into your waistband to prevent cutting you. You shivered at the sudden cold.
"Alastor, please..."
"Mmmm. Such a pretty whiner."
He put your leg on his shoulder and dove into your pussy. You threw your head back in ecstasy as he worked his magic with his tongue. You could've sworn you would be okay with never getting to Heaven, this was Heaven enough.
You gripped Alastor's hair, pressing him into your cunt and grinding on his face. He moved his hands to grip your thighs, digging his claws in very gently to remind you subtly of who's in charge.
Eventually he broke away, stood up, and grabbed you by the shoulders, turning you around so you were facing the wall. He held your head and held it in place and pulled out his cock.
"Okay my little doe, beg for me."
"W-what?"
"Pretty girls like you need to beg for her Master to fill her up."
You groaned out in frustration and started whimpering.
"P-please Alastor, I need your cock inside of me so bad, please fill me up, please..."
He positioned his cock to your entrance.
"Not good enough, Dear."
You tried to push yourself back onto his cock but he was too strong. He held you in place like you weighed nothing.
"BEG."
He slapped your ass harshly.
"PLEASE SIR, I want your cock SO BAD. I'm nothing but a fleshlight for you, Alastor, please, use me."
"Good girl."
He slammed into you at full force. You screamed out in pleasure and at the sudden fullness. He started petting your hair, shushing you,
"It's okay little one, it's okay, I'm so proud of you."
He kissed you on the cheek lightly.
You knew you were going to be in for a long night.
⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆
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ilovepedro · 5 months
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frosted cookies | husband!frankie morales x wife!reader
Main masterlist
Rating: 18+ MDNI
Word count: ~4.4k
Summary: You pack away an extra treat in your husband’s lunch. What happens when Frankie sees you’ve packed more than just some cookies? Cookies won’t be the only thing that’s frosted when he has his way with you.
Warnings: unprotected PIV (wrap it up y’all!!), oral (f receiving), fingering, doggy style, missionary, praise kink, three (3) spanks, cum eating, teeniest bit of soft dom!Frankie, sickening fluff, after care, pet names (querida, hermosa, baby, etc), husband!Frankie being so in love and down bad for his wife, reader speaks some Spanish, reader is female, no mention of hair type/skin color/body type, NO USE OF Y/N, some Spanish translations throughout.
A/N: can be read as part of the “just married” universe or a stand alone. did y’all think i forgot about a 500 follower treat?! hehehe i would never!! i’m back with a lil slice of domestic holiday bliss and smut with our guy, our husband! i’m just so down bad for Frankie, like there’s really no explaining myself. he’s everything. i want him so bad.🧎‍♀️anyway, happy Frankie friday everybody! hope y’all enjoy 🫶🏼 not beta’d, all mistakes are my own. 🏃‍♀️
Divider by @saradika
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“Jesus, querida. How many cookies are you gonna bake?” Frankie asks before popping one into his mouth. “Francisco! Ya basta! (Enough) Those are for tomorrow!” You yell, smacking your husband’s hand away from getting anymore cookies.
After tomorrow, you and Frankie are off for 10 days. The stress and anticipation of the festivities and just spending uninterrupted time together energizes you to work rapidly. You’ve been baking all day for your office’s Christmas party, whipping up an array of cookies and packaging them up to give out to your coworkers.
 Flour, powdered sugar, and icing bags are scattered throughout the counter. A bowl of icing sitting in the middle of the island and cookie cutters next to 3 trays of cookies. Powdered sugar coats your hands and icing splattered across your apron.
“Lo siento, bebita, (I'm sorry, baby girl)” he says through a muffled mouthful of cookie, rubbing circles on your lower back while he peppers kisses to your shoulder.
“I have to make sure there’s enough for everyone. 50 is good right? The whole office will be there, and I don’t want anyone to feel left out,” you ramble as you roll out the last batch of dough in between parchment paper. Frankie rubs up and down your arms as you cut them into shapes.
“50 is plenty, baby. You work too hard, mi amor. Is this the last batch?”
“Yeah, I’ll finally be done after this one comes out the oven,” you say as you place them onto the cookie sheet.
“Good. You need to rest, and I wanna have my wife to myself.” You turn around in his embrace and wrap your arms around his neck. “You sure no one will feel left out?”
A small gentle smile splays on his lips as he readjusts his grip on your hips. “No one will feel left out, baby. I promise. And if they do, then fuck ‘em. They don’t know how hard you work, or how kind you truly are,” he softly says. A relieved smile creeps onto your face as a toothy grin appears on his. He places a sweet, lingering kiss to your lips, you getting lost in him as the taste of him mixes with the sugary cookie he’d just eaten. Both of you sighing into one another, never getting enough of each other.
The oven timer dings, startling the both of you and breaking the kiss as you jump back a bit. The two of you giggling like a pair of children, Frankie places one last chaste kiss to your lips as you head to the oven. Feeling a playful swat to your ass, you turn around and playfully scold your husband as you remove the cookies out of the oven - the aroma of sugar and spice filling the air.
“How long’s this last batch gonna take, mi vida?” Frankie asks as you place the final batch of cookies in the oven. “Only 15 minutes, mi amor. Tener paciencia (have patience),” you say through a fit of giggles, laughing at your husband’s impatience. He scoffs, rolling his eyes as you stride towards him. Pulling him in for another kiss, his hands freely roam down to your ass, giving it a playful squeeze. Laughing into him, you pull away as you bark out a belly laugh, your husband mirroring you.
“Could you help me clean up, please baby? The faster we clean, the faster I’m all yours,” you taunt. “Of course, mi vida, you don’t even have to ask. Although, the incentive is nice,” he says with a smirk. The two of you swiftly maneuver throughout the kitchen while the cookies bake. Frankie clearing the counter as you wipe it down, and washing and drying dishes together - working in tandem to tidy up your kitchen. The oven timer dings once more, Frankie washing and drying the remaining dishes as you remove the last batch and set them on the cooling rack. As you remove your oven mitts, Frankie tosses the dish rag onto the counter and swoops behind you, engulfing you in his broad, taut arms while he litters kisses along your neck.
“All done, mi amor?” He asks against your skin, his mustache tickling you along with his eagerness, eliciting a laugh from you. “All done, mi amor,” you laugh, wrapping your arm around his neck to twirl the curls at the nape of his neck. “Vamos, mi esposa,” he says, whisking you away and up the stairs.
Laughter bubbling over the two of you as you rush up the stairs.
After tomorrow, it’s 10 days of this - uninterrupted bliss with each other.
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Frankie plops down on the chair, groaning as time ticks by agonizingly slow. He runs a hand over his face, his wedding ring making contact with his cheek reminds him of you - just 4 more hours until he’s home with you.
Cracking open his lunchbox, he smiles as he spots the usual yellow sticky note that you pack in his lunch which lay atop some of the freshly baked cookies that you made last night. Picking it up, he reads the note:
“Enjoy your lunch, mi esposo hermoso. Can’t wait for you to frost my cookie when you get home ;)
-Con amor, su esposa”
Beneath it, a polaroid of you dressed in a crimson red babydoll with white fur lining the bust. It leaves little to the imagination as you display your breasts to the camera, a coy smile on your lips as white frosting runs down your lips and onto your chin, teasingly biting into one of the cookies you baked.
His breath hitches in his throat, eyes widening as he takes in your form. He’s hard as a fucking rock, his lunch now completely forgotten.
“‘S matter, boss? Wife forget to pack your juice or something?” A stupid rookie asks, laughing too hard at his own joke as he creeps up behind Frankie to catch a glimpse inside his lunchbox. Frankie immediately drops the polaroid back inside and flips the lid closed before the rookie can see it.
“Shut the hell up, Daniel,” Frankie grumbles as he rises to his feet, stomping out of the break room and into his tiny, cluttered office. He typically eats lunch here, wanting to get away from the fumes that permeate the shop, but the anticipation of your time off together made him antsy - seeking out a place without constant reminders of you as the day drags on.
That did absolutely nothing. Your boudoir polaroid having made his day better and worse simultaneously. You looked nothing short of a dream, but now his impatience is getting the better of him as his mind wanders to all the things he plans to do to you tonight. He groans, his cock still half hard as he unravels his lunch. He huffs sticking the polaroid in his wallet, aggressively nibbling at his lunch.
Could this day go by any slower?
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He opens the door, tossing his keys into the bowl as he shuts and locks it. Trudging inside, he toes off his boots, pushing them to the side as he takes in your fully decorated home. His heart swells at the sight, knowing you were off work early today after your office party. Meaning you probably spent the entire afternoon decorating.
Garlands adorn every wall, the tree now fully decorated and the Christmas village sits atop the mantle. Twinkling lights warmly illuminate the room. The sprig of mistletoe hangs above the entryway to the kitchen, the smell of dinner and more baked goods permeating through the air mingling with the fresh pine scent of the tree.
You’ve gone full Christmas-mode and he can’t get enough of your domesticity - your ability to make every single thing you touch feel like home.
“Frankie?!” You yell faintly from the kitchen.
“Hermosa, I’m home!” He shouts as he shrugs off his brown utility jacket. Footsteps bound from the kitchen and into the hall. There you stand, in all your domestic glory with your apron around your front and a bit of flour on your cheek. 
You beam at him, happy your husband is finally home for the week. Your office is closed and so is the shop for the following week and then some for the holiday, now you have him all to yourself for the next 10 days. Practically flinging yourself into his arms, you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him in for a searing kiss. He laughs at your eagerness, his cock twitching in his pants as you tug him closer by his soft curls, deepening the kiss. His tongue slips into your mouth, a soft moan escaping you and into Frankie.
It’s unclear who breaks the kiss first, but the both of you are heaving, panting for air. The smile returning to your face, a smug look appearing on your husband’s face. 
“Hi, baby. I missed you.” Your hands snake up his chest and you remove his cap from his head, setting it on the table by the door, carding your fingers through his hair. His smile softens, eyes gleaming with love. “Hi, mi amor. I missed you too. I see you got up to some stuff while I was gone,” he says, swirling circles on your lower back. You giggle, knowing you can be a bit elaborate when it comes to decorating.
“‘S not too much?” You ask. He quickly shakes his head. “Never, mi amor,” he nearly whispers, reassuring you before capturing your lips in another kiss. Walking you backwards into the kitchen, he presses you up against the kitchen counter, catching a whiff of something baking in the oven again.
He pulls back, forehead resting against yours as he swipes away the flour that’s smudged on your cheek. “You’re still baking, mi vida? I thought you were finished,” he asks. “I am, but I wanted to make you something, a treat to celebrate our vacation,” you ramble. A chuckle rumbles in his sturdy chest.
“Got the most delicious treat right here,” he tsks, you chuckle rolling your eyes at his cheesiness as butterflies erupt in your belly. His hardening length presses against your core as he dives in to litter your neck with kisses. “Even got a picture to prove it,” he rasps against you. A small gasp escapes you.
So he did see the picture.
“Oh really? Can I see this picture, amor?” Your voice breathy and titillating, feigning oblivion as a smirk plastered on your face while he sucks on your neck.
“I’m sure you know what it looks like. In fact, you’re gonna let me recreate it with the real thing, baby.” His voice low and husky now as his clothed, hard cock ruts into you.
A wave of arousal pools in your panties. “I am?” You breathlessly ask, still keeping up the innocent act.
“Mhmm. Gonna be covered in me. Isn’t that what you wanted, princesa? Huh? You couldn’t wait for me to get home and frost your cookie, hermosa?” He asks as his lips ghost over yours now, emphasizing the reference to the note you’d put in his lunchbox this morning. You snort, eyes shutting as heat courses through your veins as he quotes the note, and warmth blooming in your belly.
A light smack to your thigh reels you back in, eyes flying open. His eyes filled with lust, pupils darkening. Your eyes glossy and hazy, feeling tipsy just off his embrace, his words.
“Y-yes, Frankie. ‘S what I wanted - want. Want you s-so bad, mi amor,” you mumble against his ear as he resumes peppering kisses along your chest. Humming against you, your words going straight to his cock, which you feel as he presses into your core a bit harder.
“Want you so bad, too, princesa. Been wanting you all day. Y’know how hard it was to keep it together seeing that picture of you? Look so fucking sexy, fuck. Had to stop myself from cumming in my jeans like a fucking teenager,” he mutters into your ear. You giggle, taking great joy in knowing your husband wants you just as bad as you do, maybe even more.
He bites down on your earlobe, your giggles quickly dissipating into a moan. “But what you did today was so bad, mi vida. Distracted me all fucking day from work, could barely concentrate. I think you just made it on the naughty list. What do you think, baby? Are you naughty or nice?”
“N-nice. Nice, baby,” you whimper as Frankie unties your apron and smoothly tosses it on the counter. 
“Mmmm, you sure about that? You gonna be a nice, good girl for me and let me have my way with you?” You furiously nod, your neediness growing into an impatient monster. 
He laughs at your eagerness, relishing in how needy you are for him. “Come on, princesa. Show me how good you are,” he rasps before releasing you from his grasp, grabbing your hand as you two stumble out of the kitchen and up the stairs. Excitement stirring within you as he leads you to your room.
Frankie flings the door open, eagerly bringing you into his embrace again. He cups your cheeks, leaning in as his lips engulf yours in a messy, heated kiss. It’s all tongue as teeth gnash together, moans flying out from both of you while you strip each other down. Frankie groans as he discards your bra onto the floor. You can’t help the moan that escapes you as you shuck off your husband’s briefs, his hard cock springing free, weeping and red.
“On the bed, hermosa,” he demands, his timbre husky and low. You scramble onto the bed, laying on your back, displaying yourself for your husband. “Spread your legs.”
Your brain on autopilot, operating as if Frankie has a remote to control your actions.
Legs spread, the cool air of the room hits your sopping core, a shiver running down your spine. Frankie licks his lips, pupils blown black and wide swirling with lust. He stalks towards you, laying down and settling himself in front of your aching pussy. He grabs your thighs, placing them on either side of his head. The frigidity of his wedding band burning into your skin, contrasting the blaze that burns from within you as you anticipate your husband’s next move.
You pant as the excitement transforms into a forest fire within your core, Frankie so close to where you desperately need him. He presses firm kisses to your thighs, your breath catching in your throat again. Kissing and nipping at your thighs, your neediness causes your hips to involuntarily buck into Frankie - his nose catching on your clit for a split second. A shocking loud moan escapes you as Frankie pushes you back down on the bed.
“Just like you told me last night, mi vida. And like how I had to tell myself after what you pulled this afternoon: tener paciencia,” he practically growls against your thighs. You whine as his teasing resumes. You know this is payback for the polaroid, making him wait all day for some relief. Your husband is the most patient man you know, even when he wants nothing more than to take you any chance he can get.
His desire for you though, constantly burning, so you know this must be killing him too. However, the sweet revenge of seeing you fall apart and writhe under him, begging him to do something is the most delicious reward.
“Frankie,” you desperately sigh, eyes closing as he presses kisses to your mound. “When have I ever not given you what you wanted? Hmm, baby?” He asks against your core, your eyes opening and to lock with his gaze. “Never, mi amor,” you nearly whisper, it comes out much more rushed than intended.
“Tranquila, mi vida. I’m gonna take care of you and this pretty pussy. I got you, baby,” he says with one last kiss to your thigh. Without preamble, he licks a long, languid stripe up your folds. A relieved moan tumbling from your lips as you bury your head further into the pillow. He repetitiously licks up your glistening core, your clit throbbing for some attention. Your husband knows your body like the back of his hand, as if he can read your mind.
He flicks your precious pearl with a steady rhythm, wrapping his lips around it. You twitch underneath him, eyes heavy and glazed.
“Oh fuck, Frankie!” You keen as your hands fly to tug on his hair, his rhythmic, skilled tongue bringing you closer to the edge. Your weeping cunt clenches around nothing as a wave of slick seeps from your hole. He snakes a hand up to cup your breast, flicking and suckling your clit as he rolls your nipple in between his thick, calloused fingers, alternating breasts. Your breathing is ragged as you moan, Frankie groaning and humming into you. The vibrations rumbling from within him launching you higher into your climax, teetering on lift off.
“Feels s-so f-fucking good, Frankie. Always s-so fucking g-good,” you babble. He pulls away for a second, his chin coated in your slick. “Come on, baby. Know you’re close. Let go, hermosa,” he rasps right above your swollen cunt. He dives back in, moving his hand from your breast to your entrance, two fingers sliding home with the amount of slick pouring from you.
A sharp gasp escapes you, eyes rolling back at the welcomed intrusion as Frankie rapidly and steadily alternates between sucking and flicking your clit. His fingers hitting that spongy spot only his fingers and cock can reach. The coil in your belly snaps as you’re launched into your orgasm, stars appearing behind your eyes as your vision blurs white hot.
Frankie helps you ride out your high as you scream and writhe beneath him, lapping up every last drop of slick gushing from your throbbing pussy. Desperately trying not to rut his hips into the mattress, he groans at the sweet, tangy taste of you that he can never get enough of. Your thighs tremble as you slowly return back to Earth, whimpering as Frankie presses soft kisses to your thighs.
“Did so good for me, baby. Always so fucking good for me,” he hushes you, peppering kisses up your body.
You fight to keep your eyes open, catching sight of your husband soaked in your release as his mustache and patchy beard gleams in the warm glow of the bedroom.
Pulling him down, you connect your lips with his, both of you moaning into one another. Wrapping your arms around his broad, strong shoulders as you tug on his curls. His mouth licking into yours, letting you taste your sweet slick on your tongue. Sweet and heady, the kiss melds into something sinful as you feel Frankie’s hard, leaking cock rubs right above your core. Precum smearing on your belly, Frankie pulls back and moans at the friction.
“Not done with you yet, querida,” he says gruffly as he lifts himself off you. “Turn around,” he demands. You recognize that tone: he’s gonna have his way with you tonight. A shiver runs down your spine as a new rush of arousal burns brightly in your core. You swiftly lay on your stomach.
“On your knees, baby.” His voice husky and firm. You readjust yourself and settle on your knees, balancing yourself on your forearms. Feeling the mattress dip behind you, another spark of arousal jolts in your pussy, your belly warm and full of anticipation. You can hear Frankie pumping himself in his fist as he lines his hips up with yours.
“See, you can be a good girl. Knew you could do it, mi vida.” You moan at his praise. His large hands caress your ass, engulfing your cheeks in each hand, admiring the view. You teasingly wiggle your ass, Frankie-drunk giggles bubbling over your lips and spilling into the pillow. A smack comes down on your ass, the sting of it making your pussy throb. Moaning as you turn your head to the side, locking eyes with Frankie.
His chocolate irises invisible, eyes completely darkened and filled to the brim with lust.
“Don’t start.” You nod, drool pooling under your mouth, your patience wearing thin. “Be good, baby,” he rasps as he lines his cock up with your entrance. His tip prodding your aching hole, as one of his hands rests on your ass. He slowly slides in, taking his time bottoming out. Both of you moaning in tandem as his cock splits you open, the sting blurring the lines of pain and pleasure. You squeeze around him as he fully sheathes himself inside you, never fully getting used to his size despite being married to him now.
“Alright, baby. Alright, baby,” He hisses, roughly kneading your ass. “Come on now. Relax, baby. I got you,” he calmly whispers. You feel yourself relax, unclenching and releasing him from your vice grip. “There we go. Good girl,” he says as he leans down to press a kiss behind the shell of your ear.
He slowly slides out from you, nearly pulling out all the way until he slams his hips back into yours. His cock punching your cervix.
“Frankie!” You gasp, moaning as you grip the sheets. He repeats the motion, grunting as he cants his hips. “Tightest, sweetest fucking pussy ever. Fuck, always feel so fucking good, baby. You were made for me, made to take my cock. Huh, querida?” He asks, breathing ragged as he fucks in and out of you. You nod and moan in agreement, words escaping you as he brings you close to your second orgasm. It doesn’t take long for your orgasm to slowly creep up on you, still reeling from the sensitivity of your previous one.
Another smack hits your ass, clenching around him in your tight heat. You love when Frankie gets a bit rough with you.
“Words, querida. Come on, you were doing so good,” he taunts. You swallow through your moans, unaware of the desperate tears of pleasure that were pooling in your eyes.
“Y-yes, baby. Made for you, made for your cock. S-so fucking good to me, Frankie. L-luckiest girl in the w-world,” you babble. You feel him twitch inside you before he pulls out.
Whining at the loss of your husband’s cock, you’re suddenly being flipped on your back. Before you can give what’s happening a second thought, Frankie slides back into you. Your calves pressed against his strong chest, your ankles resting atop his taut shoulders as he bends you in half. His pace rapidly picking up, his thrusts growing sloppy.
“‘S right, baby. Made for me. I’m the luckiest man in the world, querida. Won the wife lottery,” he rasps lowly, pressing a kiss to your calf.
The love you have for this man is overwhelming. His existence constantly gracing your mind, his unwavering support, his unconditional love, never feeling like you’re not enough for him, his kindness, his patience, how gentle he is with you even when he’s roughing you up.
“Eres la esposa más hermosa y perfecta del mundo. (You're the most beautiful and perfect wife in the world) So lucky to call you my wife, baby,” he grunts, punctuating each word with his thrusts. His sweet words toss you over the edge, fat tears of euphoria and love cascade down your cheeks as you scream his name.
An endless stream of slick seeps from your cunt, coating Frankie in your release. The squelching sound filling the air mixed with pants and moans is sinful, obscene.
“Fuck yes, baby. Give it to me, all of it. Soak my cock, querida. So fucking good - you, this pussy, our life, fuck yes,” he babbles. You mindlessly move your legs from his hold to wrap around his middle, bringing him in closer as you ride out your high.
“Love you so much, Frankie. Best husband in the world, come on, mi amor. Cum for me, need your cum,” you whine, giving him one last good squeeze. Frankie fills you up with half his load before pulling out and coating your mound in his cum. Endless moans streaming from you both. Frankie cums for a long time. 
The picture really did a number on him.
Ropes of his spend coats your sex and your belly. Unable to control yourself, you reach down and swipe two fingers through his cum and lick them clean. Relishing the delicious, salty taste of your husband. Frankie groans as he sees you suck your fingers clean, gathering cum on his fingers and stuffing it back into your cunt. You moan around your fingers at the feeling of his thick, long fingers stuffing you full of his cum.
Releasing your fingers with a pop, Frankie pounces on you - his fingers brushing against your lips, prying your mouth open. You suck them into your mouth, an animalistic groan rumbling from within you as you taste the combination of you two. He removes his fingers, adjusting himself to pin you down, caging you in between his large biceps.
He dives in for a kiss, it’s slower - savoring the taste of you and him on your tongue as he soaks in the love which radiates off your body and into his soul. “Love you so much, mi vida. Para siempre (Always),” he whispers against your lips. You cup his cheeks, a soft smile on your lips as your eyes glimmer with contentment and love.
“Para siempre,” you repeat. Another firm, lingering kiss is pressed to your lips before he rises to his feet, padding to your shared bathroom. The faucet turns on, your usual routine of aftercare beginning. Frankie returns with the warm rag, gently cleaning you up.
“Frosted your cookie pretty good, huh?” He asks with a smirk on his lips, curls in disarray.
You bark out a belly laugh, unable to control your laughter at your husband’s stupid joke.
“Francisco!” You squeal. Frankie tsks and rolls his eyes. “Oh after all the shit we just did, that’s where you draw the line?!” He playfully asks, a toothy grin on his face.
“No, I just thought you forgot about that stupid note!” You say through your laughter, Frankie bursting into a fit of giggles with you. “Wasn’t stupid, and how could I ever forget that and that picture?” He asks as he continues to clean you up.
“Speaking of, I’m not even gonna question when and how you took that picture, but next time, I’m helping you,” he says as he rises up and walks back into the bathroom to discard the rag into the laundry basket. “Whatever you say, mi amor,” you tease from the bed.
He returns, playfully pouncing on the bed beside you. Another fit of giggles erupts from you.
“That’s right, baby. Whatever I say,” he says with a wink and a smile, interlacing your fingers with his - toying with your wedding ring as he places a chaste kiss to your lips before saddling up beside you.
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i love husband!Frankie sm 😫😔
wrote this on a bit of a whim, i had no idea what i wanted to do, i just knew i wanted to write a lil christmasy somethin-somethin for y'all 🩷
i hope y'all enjoyed!!! thank you for reading 🫶🏼
tag list: @nostalxgic @sweetercalypso @undrthelights @gracieheartspedro @jenispunk @joelsgreys @bastardmandennis @party-hearses @tinygarbage @mandoisapunk @javierpena-inatacvest @pedgito @tupelomiss @pedrostories @harriedandharassed
913 notes · View notes
ferrstappen · 11 months
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surprise! we are a family l dad!Lando Norris x reader
a/n:thank you so so much to the anon who requested this because... I'm never leaving this idea.
pairing: Lando Norris x female!reader
genre: fluff <3
summary: this wasn't planned. you are basically children yourselves and why isn't getting pregnant at 24 not considered teen pregnancy? Now Lando is waiting to meet his baby and hoping he doesn't mess up.
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Lando never thought he'd find himself holding your hand in the middle of the night, fighting the nerves and anxiety of your baby coming too son, three weeks earlier than expected.
He wondered if this was his first taste of fatherhood... His leg bouncing up and down while checking the small screen monitoring the baby's heartbeat; he didn't understand a single thing, but it looked stable and it sounded healthy for his ears. Still, his stomach felt like an endless pit of worries while thinking the baby wasn't supposed to arrive now, it was supposed to be delivered via c-section in three more weeks, just like both you and him had planned.
He also couldn't stop thinking about the long road to this moment.
After finishing university, Lando asked you to travel with him for the remaining of the season which hadn't even reached the 9th date, but you agreed and traveled with your boyfriend with no worries, no homework, no lectures, just you and him, trying to be his emotional support after every race, the pair of familiar eyes during every press conference, the warm embrace after every interview.
You were always so focused on him and his well being that it took Lando more than a good couple of seconds to realize you were throwing up in the bathroom of your shared hotel room, door closed but not locked, so he waited until he heard the water running and the sound of you brushing your teeth.
He asked you what happened, you answered your stomach had been feeling funny for the last couple of days, but today you just couldn't take it. Lando insisted the cause was the seafood you had eaten yesterday at the restaurant.
He didn't even let you kiss him until you brushed your teeth, not wanting to go anywhere near the taste.
The other scenario never crossed his mind; you were always careful, rarely not using a condom even if you were on a contraceptive. You never had a pregnancy scare or anything, always secure on the fact you and Lando were safe.
Anyway, some call it a miracle, others a mistake, whatever you choose, but when your mother suggested you take a pregnancy test just in case since your stomach wasn't the same, your head was everywhere and felt a bit weak during the day, you couldn't rule it out.
It was Interlagos, rainy and humid São Paulo, Lando had left very early for training and you managed to get to a pharmacy and get a test.
You wanted to think it was impossible, but you were too aware of the friend of a friend getting pregnant while on the pill, a friend of you cousin getting pregnant with the implant, a classmate still didn't know how it happened, but now the baby was two years old.
About an hour later, Lando walked into the hotel room, ready to take a shower and sleep, preparing for a busy Friday, but instead he found you sitting with your legs crossed on the bed, not noticing his entrance.
Lando didn't even say hello when he noticed the white stick and a white plastic.
"Please don't tell me you got Covid," That was the only thing on his mind, already too familiar with that test, but this time you stared up at him, trying to find the words.
I am pregnant. What the fuck are we going to do, Lando?
He asked if you were sure, if you were feeling okay, how was it possible, what were you supposed to do now, would your families kill you, would your dad ever speak to him again, should you have the baby or would it be irresponsible.
All those moments were behind as he stared at your scrunched face, teary eyes and messy hair as a contraction hit, but he wasn't able to find the words to help you, he just held your hand and kissed your forehead when you allowed him.
It went on during the entire night. Contractions getting stronger, pain getting sharper, his desperation more palpable whenever someone came in to check you and said there was no progress, you should keep waiting, first babies do this all the time and shit.
He doesn't know when it happened, but the doctor said they'd be taking you to the delivery room or something like that, the baby's heartbeat was decreasing and no signals of dilation or something else Lando didn't understand, but he was worried.
The fact the baby wasn't even born and he was already worrying, about you and the strong pains, the contortion on your face even as you were wheeled inside the sterile room and forced him to separate; worrying about his baby, the one neither you nor him wanted to know the sex and allowing your friends to bet hefty sums on it, maybe the baby didn't want to be out, maybe they were feeling everything going on... was that even possible?
The most extreme scenarios were playing on Lando's head right now.
He wasn't familiar and didn't enjoy this feeling, this helplessness, this preoccupation. Lando drove at high speeds for a living and understood the risks, but this was different, it wasn't his usual terrain and didn't like it.
The only thing he could do was text his mum, informing the things they were doing to you, what they said about the baby, and she reassured him, told him his dad had already spoken to the hospital director so every single person knew he wasn't just a racer, this baby was an heir, very beloved and very awaited.
His thoughts didn't make sense by the time a nurse checked if he had put on the sterile equipment correctly before letting him inside the operation room, where you already were laying with your arms spread, swollen belly visible and surrounded by people, a sterile screen impeding your sight.
this was the last time he was going to see the belly, the one he spent nights talking to, putting his ear to try and hear something, placing his hand to feel every move.
He caressed your hair the entire time, it felt like ages but it was maybe twenty or thirty or forty minutes? when he heard the loudest cry he had ever heard, followed by cheers of the medical personnel and someone asking him to cut the umbilical cord.
What?
But he did everything they asked after making sure you were okay, kissing your lips and clearing the tears from your cheeks, praising your strength, how he loved you even more than he did a couple of hours ago, how he was in awe of you.
"It" turned out to be a "she", not very much hair on her head as they handed her already dressed in the pastel yellow newborn onesie that was a bit big on her.
He couldn't stop staring at her, but still somewhat afraid to hold her for any reason besides handing her to you for feeding. She looked so comfy on the crib, so warm and so safe, he didn't want to break that.
But now you were finally catching some sleep after the surgery, and she looked like she wanted out of the plastic as her tiny fists moved around.
Lando didn't think twice, he instantly knew his daughter wanted to be held. Held by him, her dad.
"Come on, my sweet baby girl," Lando muttered as he accommodated her head on his arm, carefully walking towards the big rocking chair in the room, prepared for this situation.
He let his eyes see her, really contemplate his daughter, a creation by him and the love of his life.
Her tongue poked out, eyelashes carefully caressed her skin, her heart beating along with his.
He silently laughed in disbelief, this was his daughter. The smile on his face was too big, his cheeks were hurting as he carefully stretched his arm to take a picture of her, followed by a selfie of him holding her against his hoodie covered chest, wanting to let everyone know his baby girl arrived, healthy and beautiful.
F1 GRID 2023 OFFICIAL WHATSAPP GROUP
Lando Norris: Get your wallets ready...
Lando Norris: This is Amalia, second name to be discussed, Norris. and now I'm a fucking dad so you'll have to respect me.
He didn't expect many responses, knowing there were time differences and events, but instead he received an overwhelming amount of responses.
Pierre Gasly: fuck no Kika told me to bet on girl!!! Congratulations man, she is the most beautiful baby and cannot wait to meet her.
Fernando Alonso: mis felicitaciones a la familia!
Alex Albon: although I'm disappointed it's not a boy, I'm impressed by your work, never thought you'd be able to create such a gorgeous baby
Charles Leclerc: Congratulations to you and y/n, baby Amalia is gorgeous and already helped her uncle Charles bank account!
Lewis Hamilton: Blessings, my man
George Russell: I always knew it was a girl. Carmen and I are delighted, we are sending our best wishes to the new family!
Yuki Tsunoda: i was so sure it was a boy... congrats!
Estaban Ocon: Pay up, everyone!!! What a blessing she's healthy and has the coolest parents!! can't wait to see her in the paddock
Oscar Piastri: the most beautiful member of the McLaren family. big hug and congratulations to y/n and hope she has a good recovery! I guess you deserve a pat in the back too, congrats mate.
Max Verstappen: Looks like she sided with her favorite uncle, I always knew it was going to be Baby Amalia! She is so lucky to have you as parents and I can't wait to meet her.
Max Verstappen: come on sainz, show your face and pay up!!! I'm favorite uncle.
Carlos Sainz Jr: I don't know if I'm disappointed it's not a boy or crying because she looks like her mother and not like you!!
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wife-of-all-dilfs · 1 month
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the five stages | f. odair
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masterlist
summary: a journey back to a golden period of time of polaroid pictures, white knitted sweaters, and lively sea-green eyes. why? because in the present, those same pair of eyes are ruthlessly unrelenting and you have no other chance of their escape.
pairing: finnick odair x fem!reader
warnings: heavy angst, vomiting, implied smut, depression, maggots, hallucinations, relieving fluff, mild horror. I don’t want to spoil the story too much, so I won’t be adding any more warnings, sorry y’all. this could be very triggering so please read at your own discretion. some descriptions are quite graphic!
notes: I’m super proud of this one—it’s sorta based off “little talks” by of monsters and men and “on the nature of daylight” by max richer. this fic probably won’t get many views, so I’ll be incredibly grateful for any—if any at all—type of engagement! <33
word count: 8k
The bedroom was cold; dark; empty. Empty even though I still resided in it.
My alarm had gone off two hours ago, yet I hadn’t moved an inch. When I finally turned my head to the side, I found that the space beside me was vacant. Cold; dark; empty—I reached out my hand anyway.
Thirty minutes passed before I wrestled myself out of bed and started making breakfast downstairs. The otherwise warm and flavourful plate of fruit-filled yoghurt and scrambled eggs on toast left my mouth feeling dry and my throat lodged.
It used to be one of my favourite meals. At least, when he was around.
Dishes were piled in the sink, dirty and untouched. I sat on the couch, pondering whether today was the day I would finally get to cleaning them. It wasn’t. I couldn’t. We always did that together. I wondered—if I left them in the sink long enough, would he return? Even just for five minutes to help me put them away? One month and seventeen days had passed, and yet I still entertained this thought religiously.
I wasted an hour running circles round the same contemplations before deciding fresh air, as cliché as it was, might do me some good.
Grey clouds concealed the sun’s warm golden light when I stepped outside, but that was fine—I didn’t like anything golden anymore. But he would want me to leave the house at least once a day, so that’s what I would do. I would go down to the beach beside our—my house and feel the sand collect between my toes as I walked to the water’s edge.
But wasn’t that where he was when it happened? Wasn’t he in water? Didn’t those things pile on top of him? Didn’t they sink their fangs into his neck and tear at his flesh until he was blown to…
Bits of egg, yoghurt and stomach bile sat at my feet. My legs buckled, and I collapsed to the ground in a sandy, tear-stricken heap. Since my lower body had refused to cooperate any longer, it took me until midday to crawl back up the dune and to my front doorstep.
Fuck. I needed to rest.
“I need you to rest, sweetheart.”
“I told you, I’m fine,” I whined. “I’m not sick.”
Finnick placed a bucket on the ground beside the bed. The room smelled of lemon disinfectant—a joy I often found in being sick… That is, if I were sick, which I was not. I must have drunk spoiled milk or eaten something bad during breakfast. Nevertheless, Finnick was not having it.
“You’re throwing up everything you manage to get down, and you’re shivering like it’s the middle of winter,” he said adamantly, tucking the comforter up to my chest. “It’s summer, and you’re very much not fine.”
I sat up, ready to heatedly debate the subject, but the room began swirling, and my ears were hissing like a staticky television channel without a signal. A quiet whimper buzzed in my throat as I hunched forward. Damn him, I was sick.
The mattress dipped as Finnick sat beside me. His hand was on my back, rubbing it soothingly as he used his other hand to tuck away the curtain of hair concealing my face. I huffed, half in annoyance, half in an attempt to suppress the nausea rising in my throat, and then sunk back against the pillows.
“Not sick, she says,” he jested, smiling down at me. I rolled my eyes, though unable to hide the weak, betraying smile creeping across my lips. “Close your eyes, sweetheart,” he said, a gentle command. “I’ll see you when you fall asleep.”
The wooden flooring welcomed me with hard, cold arms as I hauled my sandy body through the front door. Images of fangs, bloody flesh, and panicked sea-green eyes flooded my mind.
More breakfast, more bile. No lemon disinfectant.
My knees were folded beneath my body; my body was hunched over my knees. I was sobbing now, so hard that I threw up again (was there even anything left in my stomach at this point?), creating a thick puddle of vomit and tears beneath me. Cries and gasps for air bounced around the house. To call me a mess would be an understatement. I was a disaster. A disaster wrapped up in an unmendable tragedy with a ragged, threadbare ribbon barely holding me together.
And in case I wasn’t aware of this fact, the floorboards were so shiny that they mirrored a reflection of myself. My hair was a being of its own, all wild and unkempt, and my face was another story entirely—a red, blotchy thing I wasn’t too interested in delving into.
But the most unsettling aspect had nothing to do with me, it was that there was someone else in the reflection. Two green balls of light were glowing above my head.
Dishevelled golden hair…
Dimpled cheeks…
My forehead was pressed to the floor as I screamed.
“I don’t want to make you sick as well,” I said, contrarily enjoying the feeling of Finnick’s skin warm against mine, hot blood flowing through his veins.
A day had passed since I first became unwell, and the sickness had continued to wreak havoc inside me.
We were both under the thick covers, our limbs tangled together as he held me atop his chest. (my body didn’t register the scorching summer temperatures. I actually felt as though my core temperature was a few degrees below freezing. Meanwhile, Finnick was characteristically toasty warm. It was perfect for me, but not so much for him, evident in the beads of sweat collecting on his forehead. Nevertheless, he made no complaints).
My body rose and fell with each breath he took. I was trying to inhale whenever he exhaled in a weak attempt to prevent the festering sickness in my body from entering his, and though it was a futile gesture, I did it anyway.
“In sickness and health, remember?” he said.
I smiled. “We’re not even married.”
“Yet, you mean,” he countered. “I plan on spending the rest of my life with you, sweetheart. You know that.”
My heart fluttered at the thought of spending an entire lifetime with him—waking up in each other’s embrace each morning, the warm sunlight peeking through the blinds of our bedroom; Finnick calling me “Mrs. Odair” or “My wife” at every opportunity because doing so made us both giggle like two moronic, love-struck teenagers; and being unable to prevent the deep smile lines on both our cheeks as we age, a constant display of our perpetual happiness.
“Sixty more years of having and holding you,” he continued with a gentle musing in his tone. “For better or for worse... For richer or for poorer.” He then stroked the side of my face and brushed away the sweaty strands of hair sticking to my forehead. “In sickness and in health…”
“…Until death do us part,” I finished, my voice slow with fatigue.
Two fingers sat beneath my chin and tilted my head upward. My eyes connected with Finnick’s. They were soft. Heartfelt.
“Not even then. I’ll love you beyond the grave,” he murmured. Then his lips were slowly curving into a pensive smile. “When we’re both ghosts and haunting the next owners of this house.”
I was now smiling, too. “I’d hoped you would say something like that.”
How could he lie like that? There was no we. There were no next owners. There was only me, alive and alone in a comatose house. And mind you, I was sane enough to know that it wasn’t actually his ghost haunting me, though I wish I weren’t because having that knowledge was even worse. It meant he was truly erased from existence.
“Go away,” I whispered to the reflection on the floor.
He didn’t. His vacant green eyes kept staring down at my crumpled figure.
I shot off the floor and spun around, hot tears streaming down my face. “Go away!” His face remained expressionless. He looked like himself, only colder. “You said sixty more years! You said we’d be together!” I mindlessly picked up and flung a small picture frame at him, only for it to pass through his body and shatter on the floor behind him. “Why did you lie to me?!” My voice was frayed with fury, though underlined with grief.
He said nothing, did nothing. All he did was watch.
My legs buckled, and I was on the floor again. I was whispering, half-sobbing, the same question over and over until the words slurred together. “Why’d you lie? Why’d y’lie?” The only time I stopped was when my tongue grew too heavy to move anymore.
To my surprise, he eventually came and sat beside me, remaining cold and silent—as I too had become.
Glass fragments from the picture frame were scattered across the floorboards. The photo within had fallen out and, ironically, drifted towards me. I didn’t bother acknowledging him as I moved onto my hands and knees and began crawling forward—my palms slicing open and blood seeping out—until the photo was in my hands. My shins had granules of glass pricking into them, but I couldn’t feel the pain; all I could do was stare at the memory in my hands.
The picture had been taken in District Thirteen, a day before he signed up for… the mission.
I was drifting in and out of sleep when a sudden bright flash lit up my eyelids.
“Oops.”
Heavy eyes fluttering open, I was met with a small camera pointing down at me, which was being held up by a lengthy muscular arm, which was connected to an even more muscular and broad shoulder, which was connected to—okay, sorry, I think you get it.
“Finnick!” I shrieked, pulling the covers over my naked figure.
He laughed, the vibrations rumbling deep within his chest, beneath my ear. A soft whirring sound accompanied the polaroid sliding out of the camera, its black film hiding the doubtless embarrassing picture beneath. He placed the film on the sheets beside him, letting the photo develop in darkness.
“I was supposed to cover the flash,” he said, still chuckling.
I rubbed my eyes, which were twinkling with little sparkles of light. “I think you blinded me.”
“Lucky you,” he jested. “You’re finally free from my repulsive exterior.”
I started to reach for the picture beside him—“You’re an idiot”—but then he was rolling us over until his arms were pillared on either side of my head and he was hovering above me.
His hair was a mess, a testament to the night before (and very early hours of the morning), and he was sporting a beautiful, lazy grin. “Yeah? Well, you’re engaged to an idiot,” he said, tilting his head in an arrogant manner. “So what does that make you?”
The sea-glass ring hugging my finger gleamed in the lamp’s dull light as I reached out to touch his face, my fingertips brushing along the edges of his pronounced jawline. Tangled strands of hair and a beaming smile were reflecting back at me in his eyes. No one had ever loved anyone as much as I loved Finnick—disregarding the one exception that was staring down at me.
“Blinded by love,” I whispered.
Brief yet poignant emotion trickled through his features, his eyes. Then, like a flick of a switch, he covered it up and lowered his face into my neck, groaning the words, “So corny.”
My fingers were tangled in his hair, holding him close to me. “Liar,” I laughed. “You loved it.”
“I love you, which is why I put up with your corniness,” he murmured into my skin.
Even after all this time, my heart still leapt whenever he said those three words, even when he was being a jerk about it. I kissed the top of his head. “I love you, too.”
We laid like this for a short while longer—Finnick keeping his face buried in the warmth of my neck, his arms curled beneath my body; me playing with the golden waves of his hair that were somehow softer than my own. He was so heavy on top of me that it was starting to become difficult to breathe, but in no universe would I ever tell him to get off. It was a blissful sort of suffocation.
A sort anyone would snap a picture of just to keep as a reminder of how beautiful it feels to be smothered with love. With that being said, the picture that lay awaiting beside me was brought back to mind.
“Oh no,” I moaned, picking it up and taking a short glance at the developed photo. I covered my face with my hands, repeating the words, “Oh no.”
The photo was plucked from my fingers, and Finnick began humming contentedly to himself.
In the photo, my face had been nuzzled into his bare, muscular chest, eyes closed in sleep-drunken serenity, hair thrown over my shoulder and spilling across the pillow. My hand rested on his contoured stomach with just enough of my upper arm and low light to conceal my breasts. Finnick had a delicate hand draped over my waist. He was gazing down at me with a smile that was just… full of pure love.
I had to admit—it was a beautiful picture. Despite my initial disapproval.
“Beautiful,” I heard him echo my thoughts, his eyes still scanning the photo. Then his brows furrowed, and his head slightly inched forward as though he had just noticed something peculiar in the picture. “Oh, and you are too, I guess.”
My head tilted back against the pillow with an abrupt laugh. I shook my head, looking back at him. “I hate you.”
“Liar,” he said, leaning in closer.
His lips were on mine for what must have been the millionth time in the past few hours. The bedside clock announced that breakfast was soon approaching, though it was clear neither of us would make an appearance within the next hour (or two).
“You love me,” he whispered as he slid inside me.
And I did.
I really did.
The muscles in my cheeks were straining due to how hard I was smiling.
It wasn’t my idea to keep a picture of us half-naked in the entryway of our home. He always was a bit unusual like that. Completely unashamed of who he was and how he acted. Sometimes a little too boisterously, but that’s what I loved so much about him—how confident he was in his love for me, so much so that nothing else mattered, no one else’s opinion.
God, I love him so much.
Love…?
Wait.
That’s not right.
Shouldn’t it be “loved”?
And why was I smiling? I didn’t have anything to smile about anymore. He was gone. Our wedding never occurred. Our faces never wrinkled with smile lines. Our clasped hands never weathered with age. He was gone.
The polaroid slipped from between my fingers. My hands were covered in glass and blood, blood that had painted a dark red splotch in the middle of the shiny film. Figures.
After a short while of staring blankly at the scattered debris decorating the floor, I finally found it in myself to start climbing back onto my feet. My straightened legs wobbled and ached beneath me with the little energy I had. That’s what happens when you can barely stomach food anymore: no energy, always sleeping, always swamped by nightmares or bittersweet memories—at this point, they were one and the same.
Not a strand of gold or a fleck of green was in sight when I glanced over my shoulder. For now, at least. He liked making an appearance once or twice a day.
Pieces of glass crunched beneath my bare, stinging feet as I made for the stairwell. A mess for another day, I reasoned. Just like the dishes. Sticky red footprints stamped each wooden step I ascended, growing less prominent as I reached the second floor.
After taking a right down a short hallway, the encompassing walls littered with magnificent seashells and dried ocean flora, I turned the knob to the furthest room and entered. The floor was landscaped with mountains of clothes which drenched the room in a familiar, all-consuming smell. The scent kind of reminded me of receiving a warm hug, albeit from someone you know you should let go of in more ways than one.
His hair, golden and tousled, caught my eye as I passed the wall of string-hung polaroids in our… sorry, my bedroom. His smile was all dimpled and brilliant, and he had his tanned arms wrapped around my middle. Just moments after the picture was taken, he had tackled me into the water and rightfully earned a smack on the back of the head. In turn, he did it again.
But before that, we were both looking into the camera with the most joyful expressions—huge grins, bright eyes. Frozen in time.
I never let myself look too long at that picture anymore. And I never, ever looked into his eyes. Green used to be my favourite colour. I didn’t have a favourite colour anymore. It was safe to say I didn’t have a favourite anything anymore; everything favourable was a reminder of him.
I picked up a white knitted sweater off the ground and tugged it over my head, staining it with splotches of dark red. Knowing him, he would wear it regardless—whatever was mine, was also his, and was equally the same in reverse, even things as grotesque as blood.
Well, he would have worn it, I should have said.
The sweater had been specifically tailored for him. I remembered how the soft sleeves hugged his arms so well that every fluid curve of his biceps was visible, similar to a building wave before it crested. On me, the sleeves swallowed my arms whole, which I liked to think in their own unique way had also been unintentionally tailored for me, like someone out there knew one day I would need some way to drown in him when he was gone.
Finnick’s fingers tugged at the silk ribbons, unwrapping the opulent gift box that sat on our dining table. Capitol devotees would send extravagant parcels weekly, turning up in abundance on our doorstep. Sometimes Finnick didn’t even bother opening them; sometimes we opened them together just to get a good laugh out of whatever ridiculous item was inside.
He never, though, opened the perfume-scented letters marked with lipstick stains.
“Oh,” I said in surprise as he lifted the lid. Inside was a folded piece of fabric, knitted and cream-white and intricate, though still simple. It was soft to the touch; thick enough to retain warmth. I held it up with two hands, admiring the hand-sewed threads of cotton. Whoever’s handiwork this was, it was nothing to laugh at.
Holding it up to Finnick’s torso, I smiled and said, “Try it on.”
“What?” He shook his head and smiled quizzically. “No.”
“Yes. I think it will look good on you.” I pressed it further against him with conviction. “Try it on.”
He tilted his head and exhaled deeply through his nose, giving me a begrudging, squinty-eyed look. From that, I already knew I had won him over, and watched as he snatched the sweater from my grasp and tugged his shirt off with one hand. I averted my eyes, feeling the tips of my ears flush with heat—we’d been together for over a year now; you would think I’d have grown accustomed to seeing him shirtless.
His head slipped through the neckline and he pulled the sweater down his body. I was right. It looked really good on him. Perfect, actually. The measurements were so precise that the fabric sloped off his shoulders like a compact mountain of snow. The thick-knitted collar dipped into a deep, uneven neckline that partly revealed his chest and made his neck look like a strong, contoured pillar. He looked at me expectantly, as though to ask, “Well?”
“It makes your neck and shoulders look really nice,” I blurted out, instantly cringing inside.
His expression contorted into something of amusement and surprise as he took a slow step towards me. “My neck and shoulders, huh?” he said, grinning devilishly. Oh, now I’d done it. Leave it to me to rocket Finnick Odair’s already atmospheric ego. “Anything else?”
I began backing away, but his prowling strides were so long that the space between us only shortened. When my backside hit the edge of the dining table, I knew I was done for.
“You know,” I began, avoiding his unrelenting stare. “I think it was just a momentary lapse of judgement.” He was closing in now, placing his hands on either side of my body to trap me in place. “It—It actually looks terrible on you,” I said, feigning sincerity and adding a little nod to help further my case.
His eyelids drooped as he gazed down at me, lips curving into that seductive smirk he had mastered long ago. “No takebacks,” he purred, voice low and gravelly. Dear God, I could only pray I wasn’t going to melt into a puddle on the floor. He always did this—took every opportunity to flirt and render me a stuttering, bashful mess. It was his favourite game to play. “This is now my new favourite shirt. All thanks to you, sweetheart.”
But, given the right timing and ever-wavering amount of confidence, I liked to play too.
I inhaled deeply, hoping my voice wouldn’t betray me. “Maybe you should take it off then,” I said, cocking my head to the side. “So you don’t ruin it.”
His mischievous expression revealed his next words before he even spoke them. “Maybe I will,” he said, and then he was tugging his sweater over his head, and I was tearing off my own. As his hands slipped beneath my thighs and lifted me onto our dining table, I prayed the wooden legs wouldn’t collapse under the weight of our next actions.
My fingertips ran over the soft, rippling patterns on the knitted sleeves, my arms crossed in a self-soothing manner. After that day, the sweater had become a sort of good luck charm—or so we agreed upon as we lay panting on the tabletop. He started wearing it to a multitude of events and parties in the Capitol (basically any place in which he needed a pick-me-up, a reminder of what he had to come home to, who he had to come home to).
He even wore it the day we got engaged.
So many happy memories were associated with this one white sweater. So many times, those cloud-soft sleeves were wrapped around my body, suffocating me in the scent of him—if nothing else, at least that remained.
The last time he had worn it was the day of the Reaping for the Quarter Quell; the last time our lives were ever semi-normal. I had fought tooth and nail to reach him before he was escorted onto the train, despite being ordered, “No goodbyes,” by one of the Peacekeepers. In modest terms, I had significantly decreased his chances of reproduction.
When I reached Finnick, he had brought me into a kiss so harsh and fervent that my lips were bruised the next day. He then yanked off his sweater, leaving his upper body completely exposed to everyone around us in complete disregard for his trauma-induced fear of doing so, and shoved it into my hands.
I had just stood there frozen in bewilderment, watching as he called out, “I love you, sweetheart!” Two Peacekeepers were forcing him onto the train, but he too fought for the last word. “Don’t forget—I’m always with you!”
That statement had never been truer than it was now. For better or for worse.
My vision unblurred as I returned to reality. Dismal, grey light was peeking through the shutters that formed the balcony doors, the daylight hours seeming to tick away at a snail’s pace. I used to wish for the days to be longer, for time to move slower, so I could savour the moments I had of happiness and sunlight which used to be plentiful.
Why do wishes only come true when you grow to desire nothing but the opposite?
Slothfully, I crawled onto the unmade king-size bed, my limbs crumpling and balling to my chest as the side of my head hit the pillow. The imprint on the mattress beneath my body didn’t match my own. It was much larger and broader. How long would it take for the springs to forget his body weight and recoil back into place as though he never existed at all?
I inhaled the sweater’s scent with every breath I took (and I tried not to wonder how long it would take for his scent to disappear as well) and hugged my arms around my waist. No pain was worse than the fleeting moments I forgot the embrace was my own and not his.
Hours passed, and so did the evening. A beautiful orange sunset hadn’t slipped through the shutter’s cracks because the clouds never dissipated. Night-time brought no consolation either. Not even the stars or moon made an appearance. Everything that once gave me a shred of optimism was hidden behind a veil of gloom.
I knew tomorrow wouldn’t be any different—the weather, my mood, his absence. Because the end of autumn was closing in, and the days were becoming bleaker. Trees would start shedding their leaves; the leaves would start to die.
I hoped I would too.
I was still curled up on my side, my body aching with stiffness, when my face began scrunching into this ugly, twisted mess of despair. My tears were slow yet heavy, synonymous with the day I had incurred.
But then something strange happened.
Someone called my name.
No. That couldn’t be right. I was the only one who occupied a house in the Victor’s Village; the others had either relocated after the war or were… dead.
But there it was again—my name, distant and eerie, yet spoken with a tone people often used to beckon over and aid a frightened, injured animal. My vision blurred, both from tears and concentration on the voice.
“Hey.”
I couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment my surroundings transformed into a kitchen, just that they had and that I was no longer in my bed but standing upright.
Ahead of me, in the distance, the sun was beating down on the crystalline water, and white frothy waves were cresting on the smooth, golden sand. It was a perfect day; not a cloud was in sight. The only blemish that smeared the blue sky was the reflection staring back at me from the window I gazed out of.
In my hands was a soup bowl and a damp dishrag.
“Sweetheart?” That once distant voice, concerned and beckoning, was standing right beside me.
Blinking, I snapped out of my daze and turned away from the window.
He stood tall beside me, despite being half hunched over the kitchen sink and scrubbing the last of the few dirty dishes stacked neatly on the bench top. His head was turned towards me, his enamoured sea-green eyes peering into my own as though he was searching behind them for what troubled me.
“Hey,” he spoke softly, standing up straight. His touch was warm and gentle as he reached for my hand, leaving soapy bubbles on my palm and fingers. “Where’d you go?”
Three odd things seemed to occur at once: first, I flinched away from his touch, overwhelmed by its paradoxical unfamiliar familiarity; second, I felt an inexpressible relief from seeing him standing before me, seeing his cheeks painted with a soft pink hue as though blood-red roses were hidden just beneath his skin.
The third was an onset of disorientation. I couldn’t tell you why I felt disorientated standing in my own kitchen with the love of my life, just, simply, that I did. There was an answer—it was close by, right under my nose, yet unreachable. We did this every day, didn’t we? We would eat meals together and then wash up together. So, why did I feel so unsettled?
I shook my head, dispelling the confusion that muddled my brain. “Sorry,” I whispered. “I don’t know what happened.” I laughed uneasily, without a hint of mirth.
He laughed too, not to poke fun or because he found my obvious turmoil amusing, but rather to comfort me, so I would feel less alone in my unease. “It’s alright,” he said gently.
Neither of us addressed what had happened; we simply resumed our routine of washing and drying in domestic silence. And as seconds turned to minutes, and as the sky remained sunny, I found myself smiling. All that mattered was that he was standing beside me and that the sun was beaming in the sky. So, I kept smiling.
After I finished drying the last dish, we began placing the plates, bowls, and an abundance of cutlery in their assigned drawers and cupboards, weaving past each other and giggling anytime we got in one another’s path. I was carrying a stack of white plates, eyeing the high cupboard they needed to go in, but before I could even attempt straining onto my toes, the plates were out of my hands and taken into another much larger pair.
The smell of sea salt and expensive cologne wafted from behind me as he towered over my shorter frame and placed the plates in the cupboard.
“I could have done that,” I said, smiling as I turned around to face him.
He had a playful glint in his eye. “Yeah, right. What are you, like, four feet tall?” he joked.
It was an extreme exaggeration since I was no way near that height, but I suppose everyone was miniature in comparison to him, being over six feet tall and all. I feigned open-mouthed offence, to which he gave the side of my head a quick, playful kiss of apology.
He then leaned against the counter with crossed arms. “Plus, when was the last time you actually put these dishes away? I’m surprised you even remember where they go.” He was grinning at me in a teasing manner, but every ounce of humour had drained from my body.
My eyes drifted to the floor.
Well, that was the question, wasn’t it—when was the last time I put the dishes away?
I couldn’t remember. In fact, I couldn’t remember what had happened this morning or the day before. Hell, I couldn’t even remember what we were doing before the dishes.
To be standing in a room, in a place you call home, and have a sense that nothing is in its right place, even though that is where everything has always been, is a disconcerting feeling beyond belief. To be perplexed by your own state of being—your existence—is even worse. I could almost describe it as a nauseating bout of vertigo.
My hands found the counter’s edge behind me, and I exhaled a shaky breath.
He stepped in front of me, one large and gentle hand reaching up to cup my jaw. “Are you okay?” he asked, his forehead wrinkling with shallow worry lines as he inspected my face. I hated that. I hated that I worried him so much. Sure, partners were supposed to lean on each other for support in a relationship (as he too did with me when needed), but I always felt so guilty doing so. Hadn’t he already suffered enough… pain in his lifetime? Who was I to cause him any more?
A sunbeam suffused the room, oozing across his face. The illumination lightened his eyes into a refreshing mint green, though, in contradiction, unearthed a pain that had been previously been concealed. Pain from what, I wasn’t sure. From concern regarding my unusual behaviour? Maybe a thought that was troubling him? Or perhaps he too was enduring a spell of confusion and had an inexplicable feeling that he was out of place.
Whatever his pain regarded, seeing it had rattled the deepest structures in which held my mind together.
It was then that I suddenly realised I hadn’t answered his question, so I gave him a wan “I’m-not-too-sure-myself” smile and then began slinking back to the sink window.
He followed behind me. I could feel him staring into the back of my head, could feel his brows draw together and his lips pull into a tight line, patiently waiting for a further explanation, though I wasn’t sure I could offer him one.
I hadn’t noticed before, but on the windowsill was a small picture frame containing a polaroid picture of us in bed—I was lying on his chest, half-naked and asleep, and he was looking down at me, smiling fondly yet with a sort of mischievous knowability. Running down the middle of the protective glass was a small, jagged crack.
I plucked the frame from the windowsill, inspecting the picture in my two hands. It seemed to uncover a place in my mind—once clouded by disorientation—I’d forgotten. Whether this place was real or imaginary was beyond me, but the fear I felt upon its recollection was incandescently genuine.
“Do you think,” I spoke tentatively, “people can have nightmares while they’re wide awake?” My thumb ran over the crack.
I might have heard him inhale a quiet, sharp breath, but it also could have just been the waves breaking on the distant shore. “Like a flashback?” he asked, an unidentifiable unease in his tone.
“No, not exactly.” I searched my brain for the right words, the right way to tell him how I was feeling, but it was difficult when I could only conjure vague fragments. And it was all I could do to tell it to him elliptically, as I knew saying the words in any other manner would shatter my heart.
“I had this vision,” I began, my words apprehensively staccato, “where I was somewhere else.” My eyes flickered over the picture. “Somewhere… bad. Everything was grey and heavy, and I was alone. Sometimes you were there, but you—you weren’t really you anymore.” I paused and looked up to find him staring at me in the reflection of the window. He looked pained; it was then suddenly hard to recollect a time when he didn’t. My throat started to constrict. “You were gone and…” my voice quietened to a broken wisp of wind, “you were haunting me.”
The room was silent.
He said nothing in response
The transparency of his reflection in the glass was so familiar—so haunting—and it was like another forgotten matter had been dredged from the depths of my mind. Stinging tears brimmed my waterline, and, due to my inability to bear the sight of his translucent appearance, I forced myself to turn around.
I glanced up at him, smiling weakly as I whispered, “I’m sorry.”
He shook his head as if my need to apologise was nonsensical (even I was unsure of what I was apologising for), and he then pulled me into a tight embrace. His chin rested atop my head; my face was buried in his chest, and his arms held me like I was some dilapidated structure that relied on his support to remain upright. Part of me knew this sentiment was correct.
I expected his next words to be ones of consolation or reassurance, maybe an “I’m right here, sweetheart” or an “I’ll never leave you”. Instead, I felt his head turn and heard him say, “Think it’s going to storm?”
With a sniffle, I turned my head towards the window. The arms wrapped around my body tightened as if he somehow knew I would need the extra support. Because when I saw the wall of dark, opaque clouds rolling through the sky towards us, an unshakeable dread zapped through my heart.
My hands clung to the fabric of his cream-white sweater, which then brought to my attention that an inexplicable tingling sensation was spreading down the fingers of my right hand, numbing them.
Lightning flashed on the horizon, and the once serene waves began cresting violently on the shoreline. The dread grew.
Before my attention could drift too far, my name was called again.
I looked up to find those green eyes gazing down at me, swelling with tears. He was crying. Why was he crying? And why was his hair wet? His usually golden strands had darkened to a deep brown and were drenched with cold water that dripped onto my cheeks, and his hair was swept haphazardly across his forehead, a reflection of someone who had just endured an intense storm or had just been fighting for his life against a swarm of—of—
No.
My own eyes began to burn.
“It’s killing me to see you this way,” he spoke, every second word breaking and wavering in volume.
The world seemed to tilt on an axis. Return did the disorientation, ravaging my mind more violently now. “What do you”—My chest was rising and falling with heavy breaths—“What? What do you mean?” My lower lip was quivering, and my eyebrows were scrunched together in confusion. His words replayed in my head: It’s killing me to see you this way.
It’s killing me.
His hair was dripping—no longer with water, but with a thick, red substance that both dripped down and clotted on his skin. He didn’t look pained anymore; he looked like he was in pain.
It’s killing me.
But that can’t be right, can it?
It’s killing me.
Why?
It’s killing me.
Becausemy Finnickwas already dead.
I staggered backwards and out of his, no, this imposter’s arms. He stared at me as blood streamed down his forehead, pouring over his eyelashes and down his cheeks. I was going to be sick. This had to be some sort of cruel joke, a newly invented punishment from Snow. But that wasn’t right either: Snow was dead too.
“F…Fi…” I tried saying his name, my top teeth prodding the inside of my bottom lip, but I couldn’t make a sound.
He took a step towards me, and I almost stumbled onto the floor. “Remember what I told you?” he asked, though it sounded more like an urge.
I frantically shook my head. No, I didn’t remember. I didn’t want to remember anything.
Something dark and mountainous appeared in my peripheral vision, and an odious smell singed my nostrils. My head snapped to the left. Stacks upon stacks of plates and bowls mounded the kitchen sink, each crawling with maggots that were falling to the floor in white, wriggling heaps.
Nausea boiled in my stomach; horror brimmed my eyes.
I quickly turned away, my eyes meeting green again. His face was no longer stained with blood, and his hair was dry, shiny, and golden with life. I was as speechless as my face was drained of blood.
He took one more step toward me, but this time I didn’t back away, either frozen with fear or desperation for one last experience of closeness with him. My heart thrummed as he reached out to cup my face. It isn’t him, it isn’t him, it isn’t him, I repeated madly in my head. Oh, but it felt so much like him when his warm hand met my skin.
“I told you I’m always with you, sweetheart,” he murmured. And I knew engaging with him, in whatever form he took, affirmed my mental unwellness, but I couldn’t stop from leaning into his touch anyway. “Remember that.”
My cheeks were wet with tears. “I love—”
A bolt of lightning flashed, and thunder boomed throughout the house.
I was back in my bed.
My eyelids were heavy with sleep as they fluttered open. I felt detached, destabilised, and unsure of my existence in the world for I wasn’t sure which of the twoI was currently in. Real or fake?
A few minutes went by before I managed to get a grip on reality, which, in fact, was the real one. The Somewhere Bad. I pinched the corners of my eyes, not only finding them damp with fresh tears but also realising that my right hand—previously tucked beneath my head—was numb.
None of it had been real…
The entire time, my body was trying to alert me, to save me from the inescapable heartache I would feel upon waking. He hadn’t held me in his arms. He hadn’t cupped my cheek nor helped me wash the dishes. He wasn’t here. He wasn’t anywhere (not even in his own marked grave because there was nothing left of him to be buried).
Even despite seeing the familiar tall outline standing in the doorway, his features illuminated with each flash of lightning, I knew it wasn’t really him.
Rain was pummelling the roof, almost loud enough to subdue the perpetual rumbling of thunder (apart from the one sky-splitting thunderclap that had woken me). In another time, I would’ve been scared—of the raging storm, of my phantom lover who was watching from the shadows of our bedroom. But not now.
In recent months, I had found that no emotion, not even fear, surpassed the soul-crushing realisation that you have irretrievably lost the one thing you lived for.
On a defeated whim, and for the first time since his death, I let the singular, weighted word breeze past my lips.
“Finnick.”
It was a trembling plea, a desperate beckon.
And he indulged.
His footsteps were silent as he walked towards the bed. I couldn’t see his legs from my position, prompting me to wonder if he even had legs at all. Or did he only have legs when I could see them? That would then insinuate that if I couldn’t see him at all, he didn’t exist.
If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? In my case, the answer was simple: no, it didn’t.
It wasn’t really Finnick. It wasn’t even his ghost. It was my mind.
He reached the bed’s edge, and I scooted over to my side of the mattress, allowing him enough space to lie down on his. His weight neither dipped nor shook the bed as he laid down and turned on his side to face me. His eyes were sad, and I’m sure mine were too. We stared at each other for a long, long time, long enough for my fatigued body to start playing tricks on me.
If I focused hard enough, I thought I could hear the sound of his breathing (the wind was picking up outside), feel the warmth of his skin spreading onto the sheets (the remnants of my own body heat were left behind each time I moved), and smell the musky scent of cologne and sea-salted hair (the sleeves of his sweater were tucked beneath my nose).
Maybe for a moment—just one sickly, self-indulgent moment—I could pretend it was really him.
I inhaled deeply through my nose. “You really weren’t kidding when you said you would haunt the next owner of this house,” I whispered as light-heartedly as I could, my voice obscured by the heavy rain pouring onto the roof.
He smiled, and it was one of the most heart-wrenchingly beautiful things I had ever seen. I think I might have given him one in return, though I couldn’t be too sure because the concept of smiling had become so foreign. The last time I was truly happy was… the last night we spent together. In each other’s arms, safe and warm and together.
And then he was gone. Just like that.
Cressida, whom I had only spoken to once in Thirteen when the war ended, was the one to tell me how it happened. Katniss was too personal, too close to him; Peeta’s instability rendered conversation futile. So, I had asked Cressida to tell me every detail—every expression on his face, every word he screamed. I don’t know why. Maybe it was so I could cling onto those last few minutes where he was still alive and breathing, despite dying and bleeding; or so I could replay the moment over and over in my head, as if somehow, someway, I could change his fate.
“He talked about you all the time,” she had told me. “Actually, I don’t think he ever spoke of anything but you. No one minded, though. While we were out there, no one ever really smiled, but every time your name was mentioned, Finnick would get this great big grin on his face, and it was impossible not to look at him and start smiling as well.
So, we all started asking questions about you: ‘What colour is her hair? Her eyes? Where did you meet? What are her hobbies?’—just to see him smile… A week passed, and it was like we all knew you inside out. It was all we could do to hang on to some shred of happiness, even if it meant talking about a girl who, to all of us, was a stranger.”
I was inconsolable after that.
She kept talking, but my sobs had drowned out most of her words, so much that I had asked her to retell me everything later in the day, despite inducing the same outcome. So, she told it to me again, just as she did the day after that and the day after that and so on until I returned home to District Four.
“He also spoke about how you never felt comfortable living in the Victors Village. He had this idea that the two of you would move somewhere far away, outside the borders of District Four­, though he emphasised remaining by the sea was very important—something about how you looked while swimming during sunset and the water was all sparkly around you.”
At this point, she had been holding my hand, knowing full well how debilitating it was for me to hear. Then she had spoken with a quiet incredulity and a facial expression to match, as though she’d never encountered a love like ours before. “He wanted to build a house for you…”
He wanted to build a house for you.
And now he never would. Our love was too ephemeral for that to happen; destined to remain history; to be a memory.
Finnick's eyes stared into mine, the green hue now a dark grey from the overshadowing dimness of the room.
“I would’ve gone anywhere with you,” I whispered to him, placing my hand on the sheets between us. “I would’ve travelled thousands of miles away from this place. Would’ve lived in solitary, just the two of us, for the rest of our lives.” A warm tear tickled the bridge of my nose. His eyebrows scrunched together in shared anguish. “God, Finn, I miss you,” my voice broke. “I miss you so much.”
I contemplated crying, sobbing, screaming, or begging for him to come back, but I was just too tired. All my energy had been spent on grievance throughout the following day, and my eyes were growing heavier by the second as my body was sinking further into a state of relaxation.
Between slow blinks, I watched Finnick’s large hand move to rest atop my own, and at that point, I knew sleep would soon catch me because I swear I could feel his warm touch.
Images flashed through my mind—incomprehensible and melting together, yet somehow still graspable.
Sky blue water rippling with calm waves, the surface glittering in the setting sun. A white stonewall cottage fronted by soft, white sand and tall palm trees. Two plates of fruit-filled yoghurt and scrambled eggs on toast. Three pairs of footprints in the sand, one larger, one smaller, and another between them so delicately tiny I could fit them into the palm of my hand.
Sea-green eyes above me. Golden hair tangled between my fingers. Finnick standing in the wooden doorway of our white stonewall cottage wearing a cream-white sweater and rolled-up slacks. Finnick grinning deeply and then throwing his head back with laughter. Finnick standing in front of our bed, taking my hand in his and guiding me towards him. Finnick. Finnick. Finnick. Finnick. Finnick.
Finnick holding our child.
I was between worlds now, both indistinguishable from the other. My eyelids were drooping, and I was quickly growing insensate. Just before my eyes closed completely, I saw Finnick’s—he who wasn’t really my Finnick—lips move. It wasn’t in my bleak reality in which I heard him speak, but rather in my mind, and God, did his words offer the sweetest relief.
“I’ll see you when you fall asleep.”
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writerdream22 · 1 year
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requested by: anonymous, I really hope you like this ✨🌻💛
pairing: Chandler Bing x reader, Joey Tribbiani x reader (platonic), Monica Geller x reader (platonic), Rachel Green x reader (platonic), etc.
prompts used: “Have you ever seen anything prettier than this?” “Yeah, you”
warnings: mentions of smoking. English is not my first language so there might be some grammatical errors
feedbacks are always appreciated!
REQUESTS ARE CURRENTLY OPEN!
You did not like parties. At all.
It just was not your thing, and everyone knew that. That was the main reason why you had decided to stay home and relax rather than attend a Thanksgiving party with your best friends.
You did not understand why they were so attached to the tradition, anyways. The fact that you didn't grow up in an American household didn't help with that. Nonetheless, you weren't the only one who didn't always celebrate the festivity
“Do you have them?” Chandler Bing barged into your apartment. He held a couple of beers in one hand, and a bag in the other where there seemed to be some food.
“Yes.” you responded, sitting up from your sofa “I only had one quilted blanket, because Monica somehow couldn't tell me where she'd put the others. As for the pillows— well, I have two”. Chandler shrugged, then motioned for you to get going. You exited your apartment closing the door behind you, while silently hoping that none of your roommates came back while you weren't home.
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There was a full moon. The city was still buzzing, it was amazing how its lights were never turned off. You loved it. And the company just added to your enjoyment of the night.
You'd laughed at Chandler's never-ending jokes for so long that your cheeks hurt, and you'd eaten so much that you swore you would never open a packet of chips again.
“Have you ever seen something prettier than this?” you questioned, looking up at the sky in awe .
Chandler stayed silent for a few, awkward moments, before responding. “Yeah” he said “you”.
What the hell?
“Are you... are you drunk? I can make you that strange smoothie that we always had in college, if you want—”
“— no, y/n” he interrupted you, rolling his eyes.
You were more confused than ever, so you asked Chandler what he meant by that. “I'll cut to the chase” he began “I love you, y/n. Everything makes me think about you: even when I just stare at the wall or drink a coffee, you're what's on my mind. And look, if you don't reciprocate my feelings, I totally get it.”
You couldn't find the words to answer coherently. Those damned feelings.
“Are you for real?” you questioned, to which Chandler responded “Yes. I know it's shocking, but I'm being serious this time”. He took a deep breath before adding that he was going to pass out if you didn't say anything.
“Oh, I'm sorry!” you exclaimed “Well, uhm... I love you too, Chandler. I have loved you since we first met... Since Ross and Monica introduced the two of us”.
He was clearly trying to hold back a smile, but he failed miserably at doing so when you nudged him and remarked that you had to throw out those “best friends” mugs that you'd bought as a joke a few years prior.
“Yeah... We should.”
You didn't think you could be happier on Thanksgiving Day.
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