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rebeccccccaaa · 3 years

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ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴍᴇ ʀɪɢʜᴛ _____________________

ʙʀᴏᴛʜᴇʀ’s!ʙᴇsᴛ!ғʀɪᴇɴᴅ!ʙᴜᴄᴋʏ ʙᴀʀɴᴇs ᴀᴜ

sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: You and Buck have always been close growing up but you two soon learn that the line that separates friendly and flirting is a lot thinner than you think.

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: fluff, slight angst bc u got a shit bf, big bro vibes from bucky, smut duh [18+ minors dni (slight praise but also slight degradation, marking, belly bulge, squirting, fem!rec oral, unprotected sex, plz be safe irl, slight choking, pet names: darling&princess, i think that’s it lmk plz)]

ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ’s ɴᴏᴛᴇs: hey assholes i'm back for the time being lol. I have a few ideas and fics I'm currently writing right now so do not fret.

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You knew this was a horrible idea.

It’s Saturday night and you and your boyfriend were back in another night club after being kicked out from one just hours before. Daniel had gotten too drunk, as he always does, causing you to kindly ask the bartender to cut him off. Daniel didn’t take that too lightly resulting in a gnarly swing at the poor guy just doing his job.

Security threw you out and Daniel called an Uber to go where you thought was going to be your apartment but twenty minutes later you pulled up to another club practically on the other side of town. You yelled at Daniel but he pushed aside stumbling inside for yet even more drinks and mistakes waiting for him inside.

You sat at the bar simply drinking some water and snacking on some peanuts keeping your eye on your garbage boyfriend. You're constantly checking the time on your phone, annoyed with every passing minute. It was 2 am and you just wanted to go home and sleep. You were even debating texting your brother Steve hoping you could just crash at his place not too far from where you were but it would be incredibly irresponsible to just leave Daniel in the state he’s in.

So you waited and waited and waited. Your eyelids felt heavy and your energy was just completely drained. You were basically a zombie. It wasn’t until a guy approached your half asleep body that you felt a sense of alert. Daniel was shit-faced so you were practically defenseless.

“Hey,” the guy shouted over the music.

“Sorry, I’m not interested. My boyfriend’s-” you quickly said, only to be cut off.

“Don’t worry. I’m not gonna hit on you. I’ve got a boyfriend of my own,” he chuckled, making you breathe out in relief.

“Sorry,” you cringed at yourself.

“It’s alright; but uh, I hate to be the one to tell you this. You might want to check with your boyfriend,” he said sympathetically.

You pushed your way through the crowd scanning every face in search of Daniel. What did he do? Is he hurt? Did he get in trouble again? Is he getting arrested? Where is he-

“Daniel?” you said eyes tearing up a bit.

His arms were wrapped around another girl’s waist as he kissed her the way he kissed you. She practically moaned as their tongues slobbered disgustingly with each other. Their hips grinding against each other proactively as if you weren’t even there. Sadness turned to anger, and anger turned to rage, gripping Daniel’s short hairs and pulling his head away from whoever this girl was.

“What the fuck?” the girl complained, her eyes completely bloodshot.

“Did he tell you that he was here with his girlfriend tonight?” you're sad with gritted teeth. Daniel stumbled around still unable to register what the hell was happening.

“Oh my god, you forreal?” she said.

“Who fucking cares? She’s a prude anyway. I got more action with you than I did her in the past, what, six months?” Daniel slurred.

“You know what, you’re a fucking prick, dude. She deserves so much better than you; I bet your dick is small anyway,” the girl said.

“Fuck you too bitch,” Daniel spit.

“I can’t believe you,” you said.

“Oh, whoop-dee-doo, big fucking surprise. Babe, you’re a prude. Can’t you see it? I don’t know why I’m wasting my time with you anymore,” he practically puked out the words without any second thought.

“Fine, then I hope you enjoy the rest of your night, you fucking asshole,” you stormed away holding in the tears; he wasn’t worth it.

Almost three am and you just dumped your cheating lowlife boyfriend on the other side of town. Steve wasn’t answering his phone and you even wanna be near the club anymore. Walking speedily staring at your screen desperate to call an Uber home, you bumped harshly into a hard chest falling to the ground on your bum.

“Fucking hell, I’m so sorry, darling,” the man said helping you up by your elbows.

“It’s ok. I wasn’t looking- Bucky?”

“Oh, hey kid. What are you doing? It’s like three in the morning and you don’t live anywhere near here,” Bucky said, crossing his arms.

“Daniel got himself kicked from the one by our apartment and Ubered here instead.”

“So where’s Daniel?” Bucky scowled; he’s always hated that guy, so did Steve.

“Probably fucking some other chick in the bathroom,” your voice cracked.

“What?”

“It’s nothing; I just want to go home,” you cried.

“Hey, it’s ok; it’s ok. Do you wanna crash at me and Steve’s? He’s gone for the weekend with Peggy; you can stay in his room at least for the night,” Bucky offered; so that’s why Steve’s not answering his phone.

“I don’t wanna intrude on your night. I can just call an Uber, it’s fine.”

“No, it’s not. Steve’ll kill me if he found out I left his baby sis alone in the streets of New York at three in the morning. It’s not a problem, we were just bar hopping and I stopped drinking ages ago.”

“Are you sure, Buck?”

“Of course,” he smiled warmly at you.

“Hey, Nat!”

“What’s up?” a beautiful redhead approached you both.

“Gonna head home ; don’t do anything stupid,” he chuckled.

“You too,” she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, “Catch you Monday?”

“You’re stupid. I’ll see ya,” Bucky laughed before grabbing your hand and headed towards his apartment.

“Thanks again, Buck. For letting me stay here tonight,” you said once you entered his apartment.

It had been a while since you hung out at your brother’s apartment but nothing’s changed. Typical men and their inability to change even a throw pillow. You set your small bag on the couch before Bucky led you to Steve’s room. There were pictures of you and him posing at Steve’s graduation; and later your own. Pictures of Steve and Bucky at a theme park, during a bar-be-que for Steve’s birthday. So many memories that Steve held onto in his room.

“Time really flies doesn’t it?” Bucky said, slightly startling you.

“Sorry,” he chuckled.

“No, you’re fine. But you’re right. Feels all these pictures were taken yesterday,” you reminisced.

“I got you some clothes if you need to change; I’ll give you privacy,” Bucky said, slipping from the room briskly.

You sat on the bed frustrated with everything. Your body was so drained from being up so early in the night, to the fight with Daniel. The past couple months with him were so awful. He was just so mean to you all the time and you didn’t know what you did wrong. Where did it go wrong? When did things shift?

"Is everything ok, darling?" Bucky asked quietly, knocking on the door when you hadn't come out after a while.

"What did I do wrong? I thought he loved me," you choked out.

Bucky sighed as he walked over to the bed sitting beside you before engulfing you in a warm hug. You cried into his shoulder and Bucky couldn't help the anger that bubbled inside him for your excuse of a boyfriend Daniel. He never got along with the guy and now he finally has a reason to knock his teeth in.

"You didn't do anything, I know it. That prick wouldn't know love if it hit him in the face. It's his loss. You deserve so much better than that asshole. Look at me, you're so beautiful and funny and fucking adorable; any guy who can't see how perfect you are, is a dense piece of shit."

"James," you whispered.

His words made your heart skip and your stomach flutter. But Bucky’s always had that effect on you. Even growing up. You weren’t going to sit there and pretend that hearing his words hadn't had a deeper effect than they would’ve coming from Daniel. Sometimes you wondered what being with Bucky would be like. You’re not the first to admit how handsome Bucky was and growing up you did have quite the crush on your brother’s best friend.

You don't know what it was, whether it was the alcohol still swimming through your veins, or just feeling so vulnerable being in Bucky's arms but you wanted him badly. You needed him, needed to feel something again. And you knew he could give it to you. You pressed your lips to his and in an instant his hands dropped to your hips pulling you impossibly close against his body. Your hands went to the back of his head as you kissed him messily. Your noses bumped and teeth clashed but it was the best kiss you’ve ever had.

“Fuck, your brother’s gonna kill me,” Bucky mumbled, almost to himself, as he slowly laid you down on your back.

Bucky’s hands trailed up your thighs, squeezing the soft flesh every now and then as he continued kissing you passionately. Your own hands couldn’t help but tug at his shirt desperately. When he did so, your breath was completely taken away. It had been years since you’d seen Bucky without a shirt.

Not only had he been quite skinny just like your brother back then, but not long after leaving for college with Steve he was in a bike accident that left him with ghastly scars and burns along his left arm and shoulder. Since then, it’s fair to say Bucky never really ever took his shirt off. It had taken years just for him to remove the glove he’d always wear to cover the scars on his hand.

“You’ve gotten so strong, James,” you grinned, reaching out to brush the flexed muscles running down his front.

He simply stared at you with an anticipating and anxious expression on his face, waiting for you to state the obvious. When you didn’t, when you pulled his head down to kiss him once again, he almost cried. Bucky hadn’t been with a woman in so long, afraid of this very moment. He knew at that moment, there was no one quite like you.

Bucky fell in love.

“Let me take care of you, darling. You’ve been so good to me,” Bucky whispered huskily in your ear as he trailed his hand under your own shirt brushing his fingertips along the underside of your breast.

His lips pressed softly against your hot skin along your neck before standing up between your legs at the end of the bed. He pulled your shirt off then played cheekily with the straps of your bra that you still had on. You smiled back at him with the same playful stare, reaching behind you to unclasp the material.

You could see the way Bucky’s eyes darken and his pupils widened as he stared in awe at your naked chest. Your skin bursted into chills under his hungry gaze even though you felt like you were burning up. Bucky leaned forward kissing down the valley of your breasts, nipping once in a while playfully before laying you back down. He shimmied you out of your bottoms easily, kneeling on the ground leaving you completely bare before him.

“You are absolutely stunning, princess,” Bucky whispered, running his hands up your thighs slowly.

“Bucky, please. I need you,” you whimpered.

“Don’t worry, darling. I promise I’m gonna take good care of you,” he smirked devilishly.

He pushed your knees open, eyeing the arousal that glistened between your thighs. He brought his fingers up to you slowly rubbing your slick around before finally pushing a thick and long finger past your folds. Your body shuddered solely at the foreign but pleasurable feeling, already moaning softly.

Bucky’s cock strained through pants upon hearing your beautiful moans; they were like music to his ears. He couldn’t help the way his hips would buck into the mattress in a desperate attempt to relieve some pain from his erection. Soon after he pulled his fingers from you slowly only to thrust them further in you, curling his fingers just right.

He brought his mouth down to you, wrapping his lips around your clit sucking harshly. You gasped and your back arched, overwhelmed with pleasure Bucky was giving you with just his mouth and fingers. All the times that you’d given yourself to your ex, he had never made you feel this good before, feel this full; let alone with his fingers. Bucky was taking his time with you solely for your own pleasure and it made your heart swoon.

Your legs trapped Bucky’s head between your thighs, squeezing as he continued to eat you out like a starved man. Your hands went to his hair pulling on his dark locks causing Bucky to moan deeply against you. You were so close to a release; your legs shaking violently and your stomach tightening.

“Come on, princess. Want you to come all over my face. Can you do that for me, darling?”

“Fuck!”

“Be a good girl and make a mess,” Bucky teased.

His fingers moved faster as he swirled his tongue around and over your clit just as quickly. You were becoming overwhelmed and that coil bursted in the pit of your stomach. You pushed Bucky’s face from you, shrieking with pure pleasure; Bucky’s kept the rapid pace with fingers as you fell over the edge.

“Fucking hell, that was so hot, princess,” Bucky said standing up; his fingers, arm, his chest was covered in your arousal.

“Did I do that?” your voice trembled.

“Because of me,” Bucky winked playfully.

“I didn’t know I could do that,” you let your head fall back on the bed as you briefly caught your breath.

Bucky grabbed his shirt that he discarded not long ago and quickly wiped his chest and arm before discarding his pants and boxers. He nearly moaned at the feeling when he finally freed his dick from the restraining garments. His hand instantly wrapped around the base before pumping himself a few times.

You brought yourself onto your elbows momentarily ogling at the sight of Bucky completely bare before you. Your mouth practically watered at the sight. Bucky crawled over you kissing you deeply and messily; but perfectly. He pulled away and you both had goofy smiles on your faces before bursting into a fit of giggles, Bucky’s head burying into the crook of your neck.

“You’re so goddamn adorable, princess,” Bucky’s voice was muffled.

“Bucky,” you whined.

You couldn’t resist squirming underneath the burly man. Although, you’ve just had what was probably the best orgasm you’ve ever had, you wanted more. You needed more; you needed Bucky.

“I got you, darling. I got you.”

Bucky wanted to tease you more, make you beg, but he was just as desperate to feel you as you were. He propped himself up on his elbows kissing you one last time before reaching between your bodies and lining his dick with your entrance. Both you and Bucky moaned simultaneously as he stretched you out; curses spilling from his lips as incoherent moans fell from yours.

“So fucking tight, princess. Squeezing my cock just right, aren’t ya?” he whispered.

“Fuck, I feel so full,” you whimpered.

Bucky began to slowly move his hips in and out of you deliciously. He quickly picked up the pace, jetting his hips rapidly making your moans louder. Bucky sat up on his knees and gripped your waist surely to leave bruises in your wake. This new angle surprised you and you couldn’t help the squeals and moans that left your mouth. You chanted Bucky's name like a prayer; as if it was the only word you knew.

Bucky watched you carefully, your face contorting with pure euphoric pleasure. He couldn’t help notice the small bump in your lower belly and without a second thought, he grabbed your hands pressing them firmly over your tummy.

“You feel how deep I am, darling? Fucking poking through,” Bucky grunted.

“Shit! Oh, it feels so good,” you moaned.

“That’s right, no one’s ever gonna fuck you this good again. This pussy’s mine now,” Bucky growled.

He took one of his hands and wrapped it around your throat squeezing the sides gently but firm at the same time. Your eyes rolled back and you moaned even louder, confident that the neighbors were sure to complain in the morning. Feeling Bucky’s hand around your neck was so exhilarating; you and Daniel had never ever experimented with anything beyond a pair of handcuffs, and that particular night went horribly.

You like being choked by Bucky.

“Fucking slut; you like this, don’t ya?” he came down to whisper huskily against your lips.

“Mh-hm,” you moaned with a devilish grin, your bottom lip resting between your teeth before your eyes rolled back again.

“Such a fucking beauty you are.”

Bucky hips snapped in and out and he knew it wouldn’t be long until he needed to release.

“God, I’m close, princess,” he growled.

His hand moved to rest on the back of your neck to pull you up so you straddled his thighs and your chest was flushed against his. Your sensitive and hardened nipples brushed against his slightly sweaty skin causing you to shudder in pleasure. Bucky’s lips attached themselves to your skin along your collar bones sucking harshly leaving purple marks all along.

Your legs shook once again as they did before and soon enough with an arched back and shout of Bucky’s name you came all over his cock. Overwhelmed with your sex, Bucky bit harshly on your shoulder in a poor attempt to muffled the loud groans and moans he elicited. Feeling your velvety walls squeeze tightly around him pushed him over the edge, coating your walls with hot ribbons on cum.

He fell forward almost crushing you but you were too tired to complain. Bucky continued to pepper soft kisses all over your skin whispering how good you were to him, how beautiful you looked. Just absolutely showering with compliments. You felt him slowly getting off you, probably afraid he was crushing you, but you didn’t want him to leave just yet.

“Don’t,” you whispered, wrapping your arms tightly around his body.

“I don’t want to crush you, darling.”

“You’re not.”

Bucky chuckled before settling completely above you, careful not to make you uncomfortable. Hardly any time went by when he felt the even and soft puffs of air hitting his skin, sure that you had fallen asleep. He picked himself up and with major guilt for his best friend, picked you up from the bed and walked you to his own room.

After he was sure you stayed sound asleep, Bucky grabbed a clean pair of boxers and hurried himself to Steve’s room again. He collected all the discarded clothes and the dirty sheets and tossed them in the washing machine to clean right away.

He hadn’t meant to fuck his best friend’s little sister, let alone in his own room, on his own bed, but it all happened so fast.

He went back to his room letting the clothes do it’s thing, and quickly grabbed his phone. He messaged Steve, telling him that when he got back for his weekend with Peggy, he really needed to talk to him.

Tonight made Bucky realize how much he loved you. Growing up, you two had always been close. But he doesn’t know when he stopped being friendly and instead began flirting. Bucky wanted to be with you; he knew it now more than ever.

Bucky watched your gorgeous sleeping form on his bed. He smiled to himself before opening the window; the sun already rising and those beautiful golden rays seeped through the glass window, making you look angelic. He crawled into bed cuddling flushed against your naked body. He chuckled softly when you realized he’d returned, wiggling even further into his arms.

“I love you, Bucky,” you mumbled.

“I love you, too, darling.”

And he really, and truly did love you. As did you love him.

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ᴛᴀɢʟɪsᴛ: (For all my work)

@mathletemadison

@buckybarnes101-blog

@l-sofiamia-l

@pluto-grrl-blog

@partr1dge

@stefans-wife

@cordeliaswhore

@fleurlovesbucky

@povsmarvel0720

@missroro

Bucky Barnes Taglist:

@stolenxkissess

@bucknastayyy38

#marvel smut #bucky barnes #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x reader #james buchanan barnes #bucky x reader #james buchanan barnes smut #marvel fics #bucky x y/n

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hogwartsfirebolt · 3 years

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Hello everyone! I’m back for my (omg time flies) third yearly drarry rec list, in which I share with you my 30 favorite drarry fics I read in the year, divided in three parts. What a year 2020 was. It was challenging, scary and confusing, and it was also an amazing reading year for me, I read so, so much more than I ever had before, and I’m really excited to share these masterpieces with you! The banner art is by @dragontamerdame who is one of my favorite artists and was kind enough to let me use this beautiful piece, which you can (and totally should) reblog right here. Now, with nothing else to add and in no particular order, here’s my

FAVORITE FICS I READ IN 2020 PART ONE

1. Who we are in the shadows - @quicksilvermaid - 100k - E - What happens when you’re forced to become the very thing you despise? Ex-Auror Harry Potter, tossed out of the Ministry for something he had no control over, has been looking for a way back to his former life. When he comes across Draco Malfoy in the criminal underbelly of Wizarding London and in need of protection, Harry figures bringing him in to face the Ministry's justice is his ticket back to everything he's lost. But nothing is exactly as it seems. Not even Harry himself. And as he gets drawn further and further into Malfoy's world of honour and deception he finds himself questioning everything he thought he knew—about his childhood nemesis, the Ministry job he misses so much, and most of all, about himself. What happens when you’re forced to see that you were wrong?

THIS FIC!!! It was the first one I read in 2020, and it immediately became my favorite fic of the entire year, and one of my favorites of all time. I have since read it two more times, the entire 100k of it. There are absolutely no words to describe how amazing it is, how much it floored me to read their characterizations, their jobs and the roads life took them on to end up where they end up, the connection between them in a time when they don’t even know how to relate to anyone, their sorrow and struggles which, despite being so rooted in the magical world, are painfully human, just... wow. It’s a masterpiece. It changed the way I view their characters, forever, and I suspect I will read it many, many more times in the years to come. It’s that kind of story. If for whatever reason you haven’t read it, this is your sign to take that chance and embark on this amazing journey.

2. Every Kingdom - @thistle-verse - 7k - E - Every kingdom needs a prince. Every prince needs a good and useful knight. Draco and Harry play their parts and renegotiate some borders while they’re at it.

So, so lovely. Even though I don’t read them very often, alternate universes fascinate me so much, and I am in awe of the author for being able to pack so, so much story, so neatly into 7k words. This features a princely, lonesome Draco, a charming, golden Harry, and a blossoming love that could change everything. It’s beautiful, and I recommend it deeply.

3. The Bucket List - GallaPlacidia - 32k - Draco will die in six months if he can't get Harry Potter to fall in love with him. Since that's not going to happen, he might as well spend his last days working through his Bucket List. Tap-dancing lessons? Rock climbing? Poetry-writing? Threesomes? Cocaine? Getting to know his adorable cousin, Teddy Lupin? Draco will try them all! Feat. Cheerily pessimistic Draco, devoted bitch queen Pansy Parkinson, and a Harry who can't help but notice that something seems DIFFERENT about Draco, these days.

I’m positive that many, many of us got acquainted with GallaPlacidia’s writing this year, and I, too, fell in love with it. This story aches in the most beautiful of ways, the humor happens to be somehow light in such a difficult circumstance that it ends up hurting when you laugh, it hurts when everything is right because it’s also wrong, it aches when it’s supposed to be a happy moment and feels tender and sweet when it’s not. I can’t even imagine the challenge of writing this kind of story, and they pulled it off beautifully. It’s a lovely story, one you will take with you long after you finish it, and, personally, I think it’s a great introduction to the author’s writing.

4. halcyon days - @the-starryknight - 1.3k - T - Sleepy mornings caught while the sun rises are reserved for silly word games and soft touches and feelings.

Oh my god, the amount of tenderness in such a low wordcount made me weak in the knees. I almost couldn’t take it. Being able to convey such a deep emotional connection in a short story seems like such a daunting task, and the author makes it seem almost effortless. I guarantee that this will make you bring your hands to your chest and sigh with how lovely it is. Reading it will be the best ten minutes of your day.

5. Clouds That Veil the Midnight Moon - @drarrytrash - 37k - E - According to Harry’s personal narrative regarding the incident, he’d hooked up with Draco Malfoy for purely self-destructive reasons, or out of convenience, or by some unlucky accident. Looking at him, sprawled in the moonlight, Harry is devastated to recall that he’d hooked up with Draco Malfoy because he’s hot. Draco is a secret werewolf and Harry is doing his best and they've got criminals to catch, darn it.

Reading this, I found myself laughing out loud, nodding profusely with how freaking spot on the characterizations are. The dialogue is amazing, so hilarious and real and Harry’s inner monologue is so, so him. I love everything about this story. I have a soft spot for werewolf fic, and this one hit everything I love about it, the case is interesting and engaging, the incidental characters, the OCs, Ron and Hermione, everyone and everything is absolutely perfect and I had an absolute blast reading it. You HAVE to read this and see for yourself what I’m talking about.

6. Sex Ed for Aurors - curiouslyfic - 8k - M - Some things, you need to learn on the job.

Oh my god this is so freaking good. The premise is, basically, that Harry is accidentally doused with a lust potion while in the vicinity of Draco, and suddenly wants him more than anything. I loved this take on that trope, we’re in Harry’s head, and it’s absolutely hilarious and endearing to experience the near childish glee he feels whenever Draco looks his way, when he smiles, when he feels he’s made him happy, meanwhile Draco and Ron are horrified and doing whatever they can to correct it. This is so funny and such a good time, I can’t recommend it enough! While you’re at it, you should definitely read megyal’s remix of this, which is also a blast.

7. plasticine porters with looking-glass ties - @bonesliketambourines - 15K - E - Lately, Harry thinks things don’t seem the same between him and Draco. His head is in the clouds when he thinks about what their relationship is now, and where it might be headed—he’s happy with their friendship, but he wants something else. A potions accident over a lunchtime visit to Draco’s lab (what does he get up to in there, anyway?) changes things, though, and accelerates their relationship faster than either of them had ever expected. How are they going to get through this new development together?

Atmospheric, beautifully-written and delicious. Their relationship is tender, just on the edge of something more, when they’re forced to quarantine together and face the effects of a potion that makes them see and feel things differently, which makes for the most intense, visual, gorgeous sex scene I think I’ve ever read. It’s just absolutely phenomenal.

8. i wake up falling - warmfoothills - 9k - M - Draco’s always leaving, one way or another. Harry’s usually 240 thousand miles too late.

In trying to come up with a way to summarize this story, I’m feeling the overwhelming urge to cry again, just like I did when I read it. It’s just so, so, beautiful, every single word of it aches in the best way, the longing feels deeply authentic and just, the setting and the jobs and everything is so unique and gorgeous. Every single work by this author is beyond beautiful, but especially this one is incredibly close to my heart and I think everyone should read it. It’s a gem.

9. In Every Universe - @skeptiquewrites - 27k - M - They sent Professor Harry Potter to search for Unspeakable Draco Malfoy. Draco has stolen a Firebird, an experimental magical device from the Department of Mysteries that lets you enter parallel universes as yourself. As Harry traverses from universe to universe, he begins to think Draco might be the one searching for him. A story about whether knowing what's possible makes it possible.

Stories where the characters find themselves somehow hopping from one reality to another are always so, so fascinating to me, and this one is incredibly creative and well-written, so entertaining all around. The mystery of it kept me on my toes, and every single reality was a joy to read. 10/10

10. Life goes not backward - @shealwaysreads - 8k - T - Harry still isn’t used to gifts, but this one is different. A story of coming home, finding safe ground, and the wild courage of putting down roots. Leaving one life behind isn’t always a sacrifice, and sometimes the greatest good comes from embracing the people you love.

My god, there are not enough words to describe how much this story means to me, how beautiful it is, how every single time I’ve read it, I’ve cried. Bella has undoubtedly become one of my absolute favorite writers in fandom. She has such a way with words, there is not one of her stories that hasn’t touched me, that doesn’t feel like an actual, full-length novel no matter the word count. I read so many of them this year, so many of the masterpieces she’s gifted us, but this one especially is so tender, so dear, that I ended up choosing it as my favorite of hers this year. Harry’s charactertization, the unbelievable warmth of their relationship, absolutely everything about this is gorgeous. Go read it, right now, and then binge all her other works!! You won’t regret it.

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Each of these fics is incredibly close to my heart and I enjoyed them immensely. In the midst of everything changing, I really found comfort and solace in the amazing works of the people of this fandom. I hope they give you the same amount of warmth and comfort they gave me, and I’m ALWAYS here to gush about any of them ❤️ Happy New Year!

#drarry #drarry fic #drarry fanfic #drarry fic rec #2020rec #ficrec #draco malfoy #harry potter #drarry rec list

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sankyeom · 4 years

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batter up! | e.s

pairings: eric sohn x female reader genre: baseball player!eric, college au, strangers to lovers, summary: in which you are assigned to interview the unapproachable baseball team ace eric sohn, and things end up going sideways word count: 6.1k (did i get carried way with the concept? yes i did) requested: nope i literally have other requests from months ago that i should get to but i’ve been having writers block and i couldn’t write any of them without it sounding awful sooooo here we are!!! enjoy lol note: all of the boyz are the same age for the sake of the story. also, the start of the plot is based on rowoon’s episode of sf9’s drama click your heart. 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝

“So, you want to join newspaper,” the newspaper editor, Choi Chanhee, said as he crossed his arms and surveyed you. It was the start of the second semester, and you soon realised that you had very few clubs and activities under your belt. “What makes you think I’ll let you join in the middle of the year?” Chanhee inquired, raising an eyebrow in question. His full cheeks and baby pink hair usually made him seem approachable and soft, but his hard expression cancelled out any comfort his other features might have brought you.

You blinked at him. “We’ve been best friends since freshman year?” you deadpanned, irritated that Chanhee was making such a big deal out of it. From the corner of the room, you noticed Changmin suppress a giggle by clearing his throat and pretending to cough into the bend of his elbow. “Come on, Chanhee. You’re a reporter short since Bomin quit, right?” you recalled what he had been moaning about for nearly three months. “I can fill in for him! I’ll be great.”

Despite being your best friend and normally having quite a warm personality, Chanhee was skeptical. “Alright,” he decided, drawing the word out and unfolding his arms. Chanhee sauntered over to where Changmin was standing and – after giving him a sharp elbow to the ribs – grabbed his clipboard, pretending to look for something to assign you. You could tell by the ways his eyes didn’t even skim the words that he already had something in mind for you. “If you’re so desperate to join the paper, then you can do the interview on Eric Sohn,” he stated, giving you a challenging look.

So much for him “going easy on you”, as he had said moments before the two of you entered the media room together.

Dramatically, a few gasps sounded through the media room and you sighed. “Who’s Eric Sohn?” you almost regretted asking, since everyone seemed mortified that you didn’t know him.

“He’s the baseball team’s ace,” Juyeon explained while trying to balance his water bottle on his head. It was half full and he had been at it for the entire time you tried to convince Chanhee to let you join newspaper. “Unapproachable as hell, though. We’ve tried to interview him before and believe me, it was terrible,” he added with a quiet laugh, eyes crinkling at the outer corners. “He’s a friend of ours but he doesn’t really say much.”

“Everyone wants to know more about him,” Chanhee elaborated, causing your eyes to flicker back to your best friend. “And if I want to be the best editor in history of the paper, I’m getting that story,” he smiled sweetly, as if he hadn’t given you – what seemed like – an impossible job. “Like you said, you’ll be great!” Chanhee pumped a fist in the air half-heartedly to encourage you.

Sunwoo snorted, lying across three chairs he had lined up for him to curl up on. “Or not,” he sang, tossing a hacky sack between his hands with ease. “Eric’s my best friend and the last time I tried to interview him, he yelled at me for interrupting his practice and had the coach kick me out,” Sunwoo seemed amused by the turn of events, but it didn’t motivate you to carry out your interview. “I’m banned from the baseball field now.”

It wasn’t long before other members of the paper brought up their own horror stories, describing attempts at interviewing the baseball team’s ace. The negativity in the room surprised you; it was supposedly only an interview assignment. Was Eric Sohn really that difficult to be around? And if so, why was your best friend making your first assignment so hard on you?

“So far, this assignment has been proven impossible to complete,” Chanhee explained. “Do we all agree that if Y/n can do this, she gets to join newspaper? No questions asked?” he glanced around at his team of writers, photographers and editors. Immediately, the members all nodded. Chanhee smiled at you.

Well, that answered your questions.

Feeling burdened, you asked Chanhee, “How long do I have for this?”

Chanhee flicked through the stack of papers attached to his clipboard until he found the paper’s schedule. “I can give you about a month, but no more than that,” he insists. “I may be your best friend, but I do have a weekly paper to put out,” he adds, making you nod.

“A month is more than enough,” you promised. “On what days does the baseball team meet?”

The indoor baseball stadium your university had was cold in the mornings. Chanhee had managed to get Eric’s practice schedule from Sunwoo, and the next morning at 5:30am sharp, you arrived at the stadium to try and interview Eric. As you opened the main door, you could hear a loud and clear voice telling everyone to do their warmups so they could start practicing. Since you didn’t know much about baseball, you decided to make your way towards the bleachers and watch the team practice for a while.

Chanhee had shown you a picture of Eric so you would know who you were looking for, and you were slightly miffed that it hadn’t done him any justice. He stood out much more in person; his features sharper and body leaner and stronger from the years of practice. You were almost intimidated by his overall aura and piercing gaze.

Checking your notes, you recalled basic information that Chanhee had given you so that you weren’t completely clueless going into your interview. Eric Sohn was the ace player because he was their best batter and fastest runner. This combination along with his precision allowed him to almost always hit home runs and also be an excellent fielder. A summary of his past scores had also been provided, but that might as well have been a completely different language because you couldn’t understand it.

With a sigh, you tightened your jacket around you in order to warm up more in the cool stadium. Watching Eric practice, you noticed that he wasn’t batting very well on that day. There was a crease between his brows and he kept hitting the ground with his bat in frustration, occasionally throwing it down staring at the floor in contemplation.

You really felt for him.

It was clear that the team relied on him a lot and his reputation of being unapproachable and cold surely couldn’t have been entirely fair, either. His coach was chastising him, pointing his finger and raising his voice as Eric stood still and nodded, face void of any expression. You assumed his coach had told him to take a break, because he started removing his batting gloves and making his way to the bench.

You knew it probably wasn’t the best time to approach him for a favour, but you had been sitting for nearly an hour and your legs and thighs were starting to feel numb. The walk down the steps was welcome, even when your heart raced with nerves as you approached Eric. When you were a few steps away from him, the boy glanced up and raised an eyebrow at you. “This is a closed practice,” he told you.

Of course he had to have the most incredible voice to go along with his looks. Great.

“Um,” You stammered dumbly for a moment, tucking your hair behind your ear to give your hands something to do. “I know. I just- I was hoping you had a moment?” you asked, voice far less confident than you had wished. “I’m on the university’s newspaper and I was assigned an interview on you.”

“On me,” Eric repeated, tilting his head to the side. “Chanhee really doesn’t give up, does he,” something resembling a chuckle left his lips. “I’m at practice right now,” his tone was firm, as if he was trying to tell you to leave without expressing those exact words.

You felt yourself nodding. “I get it… if you’re having a hard time with your practice,” you added, thinking back to how his coach yelled at him. “I understand that and I can leave you alone.”

Eric observed you; you weren’t sure exactly what he was looking for, but he suddenly motioned towards you. “What’s the first question?” he asked. You were pleased that he had decided to do the interview and, in fear of him changing his mind again, immediately opened your notebook to search for the questions Chanhee had wanted answered.

“Right,” you said, finding the right page. “Um, what made you-“

“Heads up!” a shout distracted you from your thoughts. Your head whipped to the side to see who was shouting, only to see a baseball being hurtled at you at a blistering speed.

“Watch out!” Eric exclaimed, jumping in front of you to grab the baseball before it could smack you directly in the face. You flinched at the sound of his hand coming in contact with the baseball, stunned that he had expertly caught the tiny sphere at the speed it was going at.

Just as you were about to thank Eric for saving you, the boy fell to the ground, moaning in pain at the impact. The ball fell from his grasp and he held onto the hand that caught it with his other; tears building in his eyes. You kneeled down next to him, panicked. “Are you okay?” you questioned, concerned at his reaction.

“Sohn!” his coach yelled, running over to where you and Eric were crouched. “What the hell were you thinking, catching a fastball with your bare hands?” the man chastised, kneeling with the boy and calling the team medic over to inspect Eric’s hand.

“Is that bad?” you asked innocently, confused as to why Eric was in so much pain.

The coach gave you a glare. “Get out of my stadium,” he ordered instead of answering you.

You glanced between him and Eric, feeling embarrassed at the situation. “I’m really sorry,” you told Eric sincerely, picking up your abandoned bag and running out of the stadium.

Chanhee was going to kill you.

“I thought you wanted to be on the paper,” Chanhee said with a frown. “Not that you wanted the paper to write an article about you injuring the baseball team’s star player,” he emphasised, making you flinch.

“That isn’t fair!” you exclaimed. “I didn’t do anything wrong! If anything, we should be asking ourselves why a teammate of Eric’s blatantly hurled a baseball in his direction,” you tried to defend yourself. “And I was in the midst of getting that interview, thank you very much.”

“And now I’ll never get it,” Chanhee sighed. Younghoon rolled his eyes at your friend’s theatrics.

“Shouldn’t we be more concerned that our friend is injured than the fact that you didn’t get your story?” he reminded your pink-haired friend. Chanhee waved his hand at him, as if physically swatting Younghoon’s words away, before going back to picking at his lunch.

“Yeah Chanhee,” a voice behind you agreed, and you knew in your gut that it was Eric. Nervously, you turned around to face the blond and saw him already looking at you. Your eyes met and you were startled by how much warmer his deep brown eyes appeared. “You’re being a terrible friend.”

“Well you’re a terrible friend, too,” Chanhee argued. “How many reporters have I sent to interview you, only to have them be humiliated and turned down?” he asked.

“I’m injured,” Eric said as he took the empty seat between you and Kevin. “Can’t you lay off on the newspaper stuff for a while?” Chanhee rolled his eyes but said nothing; you knew this meant that he agreed with Eric but was too proud to voice it.

Eric’s mention of an injury made you glance down at his right hand, seeing it tightly wrapped in a bandage. “Are you okay?” you asked him, observing his hand.

“It’s a sprain,” Eric explained, lifting his hand up for your friends to see. “Nothing major, but I have to sit out of practice for at least a month, according to the doctor,” he added. “It’s a good thing the season doesn’t start until two months from now.”

Your heart sank at his admission. “I’m really sorry,” you told him. “Truly. I never meant for that to happen,” you promised. “Is there anything I can do?” you offered, wanting to help him out since you had caused enough problems for him.

“Sure,” Eric allowed. “First off, you can tell me your name.”

You smiled at this. “I’m Y/n,” you introduced yourself. “What else?”

You were surprised when the corners of Eric’s mouth lifted up into a small grin. “You could walk me to class?”

He had a stunning smile. Something about it made you want to make him smile more.

Helping Eric with his books and bag had become a regular thing. At first, you did it because you felt guilty about partially being at fault for his injury (and because you were curious about him). Soon, you found that Eric was actually quite a bright and excitable person who was a lot of fun to be around.

As Eric was always so busy juggling school and baseball, he never sat with you and your mutual friends during mealtimes. Now that he no longer had to attend baseball practise at the recommendation of his doctor, Eric was able to sit with your friends every lunch and dinner. Even your friends were surprised when Eric started openly joining discussions and laughing at Sangyeon and Juyeon’s terrible jokes. Sunwoo especially was quite startled by this change; as his roommate and best friend, it was a change that he welcomed despite the initial shock.

After a particularly tiring day of midterms, you felt compelled to do something fun instead of spending the whole night cramming for a midterm you were already confident in doing well on. At approximately 3am, you found yourself rounding up ingredients for chocolate chip cookies from your baking stash and tip-toeing your way into the communal kitchen to bake.

Your roommate had been asleep for a few hours at that point, and you knew that most of your friends would be resting after their rigorous study schedules. Thus, as you rolled up your sleeves and pre-heated the oven, you hadn’t expected anybody to be awake to join your late night – or early morning? – cookie escapades.

Which was why you nearly lost your soul when a hand tapped you on the shoulder. You had your earphones in and were humming along to your favourite playlist as you started mixing the dry ingredients for your cookies, and leapt in the air at the contact. Whirling around, you sighed in relief when you saw Eric, stood with pink pyjamas and ruffled hair, instead of your RA. “You scared me,” you told him, even though you knew he could tell from your reaction. “What are you doing awake?”

Eric shrugged. “I heard someone walking down the hall,” he explained. “I guess a small part of me was hoping it was you,” he grinned widely after his cheesy comment, urging you to roll your eyes.

“Very funny,” you mumbled, trying to ignore the way your heart sped up and palms started sweating at his sweet words.

“What are you making?” Eric asked, hopping up to sit on the counter and slipping his glasses on so he could see better. “Cookies?”

You hummed. “Chocolate chip,” you added with a big grin, holding up the bag of sugary delights to emphasise your point.

“My favourite,” Eric noted happily. “Can I help?”

You nodded, listing off the wet ingredients that he could prepare for you in a seperate bowl. You knew he could pour it all with one hand and you would do the mixing yourself afterwards. After handing Eric one of your earphones, the two of you fell into a comfortable silence as you made your cookie batter, the silence only breaking once in a while by your giggles as you bumped into one another. The first time was a mistake on your part, but after that the two of you were trying your hardest to make the other person giggle and squirm.

Once the cookies were shaped and in the oven, you and Eric sat on the floor near them to relish in the heat the oven was radiating. “What were those questions you wanted to ask me?” Eric inquired, referring to the interview questions Chanhee had prepared for you.

Your eyes widened in surprise. The two of you hadn’t discussed the interview since he was injured, and you had nearly forgotten about your assignment. “Oh. They were mostly just about your baseball life and how you keep your grades up and stuff,” you admitted. “It’s not the interview I would have wanted to give, but it’s what Chanhee wanted.”

“What would you have asked me, then?” Eric asked. “What is your ideal Eric Sohn interview,” he added in an MC voice, making you fight off a grin at how silly he was being.

“Well,” you trailed off, trying to find the right wording. “That day I was at practice it looked like you were having a pretty hard time. What was going through your mind?”

Eric went silent. He hadn’t been expecting that. “I was just thinking that it’s hard to be perfect all the time. My team relies on me a lot, and while it’s an honour to be such an important member of the team, it can be really hard when people expect you to be the ace and you don’t perform.”

There was a distant look on his face, as if his thoughts were going a hundred miles a minute. “What made you want to join the university baseball team?” you asked, moving slightly so that you were facing Eric more comfortably.

A smile reached his lips. “I just really love baseball,” he chuckled. “I’ve been playing since I was a kid. Obviously I knew that university baseball was going to be on a different level, but I just knew that I wasn’t done playing yet. The challenge was exciting and it motivated me to be a better player.”

“I guess it worked,” you mused.

“I guess so,” he reluctantly agreed.

“So when did you start playing?” you asked, peering into the oven to check on your cookies. They had at least another five minutes left until they would be the golden-brown colour you wanted.

“I’ve played with my dad for fun ever since I can remember,” Eric admitted. “Of course when you grow up in LA, you watch baseball on TV with your family,” he added, reminiscing in his childhood.

“Dodgers?” you guessed his favourite team, since he said he was from LA.

“Yankees,” he corrected with a shrug. “My family used to go down to Yankee stadium to watch them play during baseball season when we visited New York. Our seats were always all the way in the back in the highest row, but I didn’t care. As long as I got to watch it all,” you laughed at his excitement. “I guess you could say my baseball career started in little league,” Eric recalled, stretching his legs out in front of him. “Sometimes I wish I could go back,” the smile slowly fell from his face. “Everything was so much easier then.”

“I get that,” you agreed with him. “I never played in little league, but I remember going to my friends’ games,” you said, almost picturing the old baseball field with all your friends running around and playing. “I didn’t even know what was going on in the game. All I knew was that I could cheer on my friends. I’d yell for them as loudly as possible and get popcorn to keep myself entertained during the parts where my friends were benched,” you smiled at the memory. “It was just... fun. I didn’t have to think about any grown-up problems.”

“That’s exactly how I felt,” Eric agreed, excitement filling his voice. “I finally got to make friends that loved baseball as much as me, and playing was fun. It was exciting and nerve-wracking, and it made me happy to practice and play another game,” he sighed. “These days, I play because the university relies on me, and because my parents want me to,” Eric confessed. “I miss loving baseball, I-“ he paused, clearing his throat. “I want to love baseball. But with all the pressure and expectations…” he trailed off, alluding to the fact that he no longer loved the sport that used to fill his childhood with happiness.

You bit your lip. “I’m sorry,” you told him, more as a form of empathy than anything else. “What made you fall in love with baseball in the first place?”

Eric pondered. “Well, at first I just enjoyed playing the sport. But the longer I played, I guess I liked being part of a team. I liked feeling supported by the other guys and feeling like I was needed and trusted by them.”

“What’s missing from your team now that makes you feel like you don’t have that?” you wondered.

“I guess my team relies on me more than I feel like I can give them,” Eric confesses, voice cracking slightly. He cleared his throat, and you hesitantly reached your hand out for him to hold. He grasped it tightly in his, thankful for the small sign of support.

“Maybe you can find support elsewhere,” you suggested, slightly holding up your hands and smiling.

“Yeah, maybe,” Eric agreed with a smile, tears slightly welling in the corners of his eyes. You didn’t have anything else to say and were grateful for the alarm quietly going off on your phone, signalling that your cookies were ready. “Perfect timing,” he added with a laugh as the two of you stood up. You pretended not to see Eric wipe away a tear with the sleeve of his sweatshirt.

They hadn’t looked like sad tears.

Chanhee flipped through the pages you had printed out for him to read. He already spent ten minutes reading and re-reading the article you had written. At this point, it was just getting ridiculous. “Chanhee,” you whined, making the pink-haired boy place the papers down.

“This is…” he paused, trying to find the words. “How did you get him to open up like that?” Chanhee wondered, unable to grasp the idea that Eric had given you so many childhood anecdotes and personal stories to fill the pages of your interview.

You smiled. “I just talked to him like a friend instead of someone to interview,” you shrugged. “He’s actually surprisingly easy to talk to. And really talkative once he gets started,” you added as an afterthought.

“I noticed that about him recently,” Sunwoo agreed. This time, instead of lying across three chairs, he was sat upside down on the only sofa in the media room, head dangling dangerously close to the ground. “These days he seems happy to tell me about his day and doesn’t leave a single detail out. It’s kind of crazy to see the change,” Sunwoo told you.

Chanhee help up the pages. “Did he really approve everything in this?” he asked.

You nodded. “Yeah, of course. I wrote it with his permission and let him read it all before I brought it to you. He’s happy with it,” you promised your best friend. “Wouldn’t want to upset my best friend and potential editor…” you trailed off, hopeful.

“Well obviously you’re in!” Chanhee exclaimed, hugging you tightly as you laughed. “You just got me the most personal article of a university athlete I’ve ever published. You deserve it,” he assured you. “Plus, you put a permanent smile on one of my friend’s faces. I didn’t think that would be possible,” Chanhee gave you a meaningful look when you separated, causing you to smile bashfully and angle your gaze at the floor to avoid his gaze.

“He’s way more open than you guys gave him credit for,” you retorted. You truly believed it; the first time you tried to interview him, he had surprised you with how willing he was to help you out.

“And emotional,” Changmin chimed in. “He cried during The Notebook, then he cried again when we put a horror film on afterwards. You can’t win.”

His comment made you laugh, picturing Eric curled up on the couch in the communal dorm movie room while sobbing into Changmin’s shoulder was too good to pass up on. “Make sure you invite me to the next movie night,” you requested. Changmin saluted you in response, Sunwoo throwing a thumbs up in agreement to allow you to join. “Anyway, I need to get going. I’m actually heading to surprise said cry-baby at his first day back at practice,” you informed them, picking up your bag to get going.

“His hand healed so quickly?” Juyeon asked, surprised.

“Not at all,” you denied with a sad smile. “He says it’s still hurting these days. But his coach wants him to come observe practice so when his hand heals he’ll be up to date on everything... Or something,” you shrugged, unsure of how people prepared for baseball games.

As you waved your goodbyes, Chanhee called out to you: “Don’t forget we meet every Monday, Wednesday and Thursday for newspaper!” You were pleased that Chanhee had enjoyed your article and wanted you on the newspaper, especially since so many of your friends were usually occupied by this extracurricular activity anyway.

Once you arrived at the baseball stadium, you took a seat on the first bleacher to wait for Eric to arrive. The weather had warmed significantly since the first time you came a month ago. You supposed the fact that it was an afternoon practice instead of an early morning practice also added to the lack of cold you were experiencing.

“Hey,” a member of Eric’s team approached you with a smile.

Unsure, you smiled back and greeted him. “Hello,” you said.

“You look a little out of place,” he said to you, standing in front of you. “I’ve never seen you here before,” he added.

“Oh yeah, I don’t usually come here,” you confirmed for him. “I’m just waiting for a friend,” you added politely.

“You’re far too pretty to be waiting alone,” he said, which made you freeze up. You hadn’t been approached by guys like him often, but it had happened enough for you to know that they really couldn’t take a hint.

“And yet here I am,” you replied, trying to sound curt.

“I could keep you company,” the guy suggested. You opened your mouth to protest, but he had already taken a seat next to you, far too close for your personal comfort. As you subtly scooted away from him, he seemed to take this as a suggestion for him to sit even closer to you. “I like your hair,” he said, lifting his hand as if he was about to touch it.

A hand grabbed his before he could. “It doesn’t sound like you asked,” Eric told his teammate, right hand tightening on the boy’s, voice clipped and laced with anger. “So I don’t think that’s a very good idea.” Eric yanked him up to his feet, and you finally felt like you could breathe again with the distance between the two of you. With a harsh shove, he stumbled back and glared at Eric, cursing under his breath and stalking off.

“Eric your hand,” you realised, standing up and trying to inspect his injured hand.

“Are you okay?” he asked instead, searching your body for any sign that you were uncomfortable or hurt. “That creep didn’t say or do anything?”

You shook your head. “No, no, I’m fine! But your hand-“ you soon realised that Eric wasn’t even wearing the brace anymore. After the original bandage that was put on it, his doctor had given him a small wrap brace so he could do everyday activities with more ease and support. Instead, his hand was bare and looked completely fine. “Is healed?” you stammered, confused. You glanced up at Eric, who seemed to be avoiding eye contact. “Just yesterday you told me that it was hurting.”

“I lied,” Eric confessed. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you forgave him easily. It wasn’t a big deal and you were just happy that he wasn’t in pain anymore, especially since you felt partially responsible for the injury in the first place. “Why didn’t you tell me?” you wondered.

Eric scratched the back of his neck and sighed. “I like having you around, okay?” he admitted. “I figured that after you got whatever you needed for your interview, you would leave me alone and go back to how things were before I was injured.”

His disclosure had stunned you into silence. You opened your mouth to say something twice, but ended up closing it again for lack of knowing what to say. “You thought I was just talking to you for my interview?” you clarified. Eric nodded. “I completely forgot about it until you brought it up a few weeks ago,” you admitted to him. “I was spending time with you because I wanted to, not because I wanted to get interview answers out of you,” you promised.

“Not even because you felt guilty about being involved in my injury?” Eric inquired.

“At first I wanted to help you because I felt guilty,” you agreed. “But after the first time we hung out together I stopped caring about that.”

“Oh,” Eric said, staring at you as if he had no clue what to say. “I really thought you were going to leave…”

You were amused that Eric was so sure of himself. “Did you ever consider asking me to stay?” you pointed out, crossing your arms and raising an eyebrow to tease him.

Eric paused. “Will you?” he wondered.

“Will you?” you retorted.

Eric frowned. “I’m lost,” he stated. “Will I what?”

You grinned, finding his furrowed brows and slightly cocked head quite adorable. “Kiss me,” you told him what you meant. His eye’s widened, lips parting slightly before Eric nodded. Once, twice, three times. You took this as your cue and stepped closer to him, your lips easily finding his as you closed your eyes.

“Sohn!” the sound of his coach’s voice caused you to jump apart. “This is baseball practice. You can practice that in your own time,” he said, although you could tell by his tone that he was poking fun at his ace player.

Eric blushed, clearing his throat. “Yes coach,” he called, smiling shyly at you before rushing off to put on his batting gloves.

Decked out in your university’s colours, you stood in the bleachers with your friends, anxiously biting your lip as you watched the game unfold before you. Eric and his team had made it to the championships this season, and you were more than thrilled to go and support him with the rest of your friends. Eric had been teaching you about baseball for months now, and the more you went to watch him play, the more motivated you were to remember everything he told you.

Your article had been published in the newspaper a week after you handed it in to Chanhee, and the personal interview had made it the most popular issue Chanhee had ever published as the editor of the weekly paper. Needless to say, readers wanted you to write a follow-up interview on Eric and his life on the baseball team, especially after word got out that the two of you had started dating. For a while, you were the talk of the town. You were unnerved by the sudden attention, but things mellowed down soon after people realised that you weren’t interested in satiating their endless questions.

“How much longer is this going to be?” Haknyeon whined, sighing as he leaned against Kevin for support. He had mostly been attracted by the idea of all the great snacks that being at a baseball game entailed, and hadn’t realised that a game without timing such as baseball could go on for hours.

“This is the ninth inning, so most games usually end with this round,” you spouted the information Eric had drilled into you with ease after going to his games all season long.

Next to you, Jacob giggled. “You’re turning into a natural at this,” he complimented, grinning. “Eric would be proud,” he added happily.

“Eric is their last batter,” you said in response, more focused on the game than on Jacob’s comments. “He looks nervous,” you mused, foot tapping nervously on the floor, causing your whole leg to move rapidly.

“Don’t you be nervous, he’s got this,” Kevin assured you, trying to stop Haknyeon from falling asleep on his shoulder. “Despite his injury a few months before the season started, this is the best he’s ever played.”

Hyunjae chuckled. “Yeah, I wonder why,” he teased, pointing over at you behind his hand as if you wouldn’t have known what he was doing.

You shushed your friends. “He’s up,” you said, voice shaking slightly from your nerves.

Eric stepped up to the place, looking like he was at ease and confident. This calmed you only slightly, because you knew that Eric was good at putting on a performance during his games. He knew that if he looked even slightly anxious, it would affect the other players and the audience too. Eric adjusted his grip on the bat and got in position. The pitcher threw the ball and Eric swung, missing the ball by a hair.

You groaned. “Strike one!” the umpire called, holding up a finger.

“Come on, Eric…” you mumbled, folding your hands together and squeezing tightly.

The second time the pitcher threw the ball, Eric swung the bat and hit the ball clean, sending it soaring over the outfield fence, only hitting the ground after flying between the foul poles. You gasped, jumping in the air and cheering. “What’s happening?” Chanhee asked, standing up next where you and Jacob were shouting for joy.

“Home run!” you and Jacob chorused as Eric ran his way to each base at lightning speed, reaching home base and making the winning run for your university’s team. “We won!” Jacob added and your friends all cheered with you, jumping up and down in excitement.

You could see the team celebrating together by screaming and jumping as well, and you clapped along with the rest of the audience. Eric joined their excitement after pulling off his helmet and gloves, making you smile in relief. After opening up to you and your friends, Eric had decided to speak with his team and coach about the pressure he was feeling. The team had reacted better than Eric expected, and soon Eric felt reassured and supported by his teammates.

Once Eric had given his coach a hug, he charged towards the fence separating the field from the bleachers. Instantly, your friends started cooing at you, but you only rolled your eyes. You had gotten used to the teasing after dating Eric for half a year at that point and it no longer affected you anymore. You handed Jacob your bag and raced down the bleacher steps towards your boyfriend.

“Congratulations!” you exclaimed, wrapping your arms around him when he met you on your side of the fence. You easily fit into his arms and heard Eric’s adrenaline-filled laughter next to your ear.

“Couldn’t have done it without you,” he stated, pulling away just enough to kiss you. The cheers coming from your friends were almost defeating at this point but you ignored them, pulling Eric closer to you and deepening the kiss. When you pulled away, he gave you one last peck before beaming. “You helped me fall in love with baseball again, and that’s something I can never repay you for,” Eric told you, causing your heart to swell with pride.

You had noticed the changes in Eric’s attitude towards baseball before the season started. He seemed more excited about his practices and was getting closer to the people on his team. “It’s not little league, but it’s pretty good, right?” you asked rhetorically.

Eric laughed. “Really good,” he corrected. “Not only did I fall in love with baseball again, but it helped me fall in love with you for the first time,” Eric confessed. The two of you had never said that you loved each other, even though you showed it every day with your actions.

You beamed. “I love you too, Eric.”

And with that, you were pulled into another kiss. This one felt more fulfilling and warm than all the previous ones combined.

note: i’m a sucker for cheesy endings so i had to end it like this!!

#the boyz #eric #eric sohn #tbz #the boyz imagines #the boyz scenarios #the boyz oneshots #the boyz fic #the boyz x reader #son youngjae #eric imagines #eric imagine #the boyz imagine #tbz imagines #tbz imagine #eric x reader #deobiwritersnet #fic: batter up!

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ignitedbynatsu · 4 years

Text

It’s Okay Pt. 2

Word Count: 1,3k

A/N: thank you all so much for the incredible support! There will probably be one more part after this (maybe even 2 I'm not sure yet). Also if any of you have a request don't hesitate to ask!

Warnings: swearing, betrayal, spoilers, mention of heart failure

Genre: Angst

summary: You had always cherished your friendship with Laxus above anything else, but when he came back from a job with a certain mission on his mind, you were determined to stop him. You wanted to man you love back, no, you needed to. After all, if you couldn’t stop him, who else could?

Previous ~ Next

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It had been years since the battle of Fairy Tail. Laxus had to leave the guild after his ordeal, a punishment he gladly took. Once Natsu and Gajeel had defeated him, he came to check on his grandfather and (Y/N). He was mortified at the state she was in. Unconscious and wrapped in bandages, wounds and bruises were shown ever so slightly from beneath the wrapped up fabric. He felt ashamed, no, those words didn’t even come close to what he was feeling. He often wondered how she was after he left, but he never dared to return. The high and mighty Laxus was afraid to look (Y/N) in the eyes.

Once (Y/N) woke up, she learned that she was lucky to be alive. If Mystogan had brought her in any time later, she wouldn’t have been here. However, she wasn’t so lucky to escape the battle without some long term injuries. She had a nasty-looking scar that ran across her upper body to forever remind her of that awful day. Not only did her body take damage on the outside, but her heart had also taken some hardship. The girl could never go full-out with her magic again because too much endeavour could cause her heart failures.

Everyone was extremely careful around her and made sure to not bring Laxus’s name up when she was nearby. (Y/N) herself, however, was unsure about how she felt. She knew she had to feel some resentment towards him, but for some reason worry always overtook that harsh feeling. She was worried about how he felt about all of this. She didn’t even want to think about the dark thoughts that could possibly cloud his mind as he thought back of that day. She wasn’t ready to forgive him yet, that she was sure of, but she also knew that she couldn’t send him away if he’d ever come to her. After all, he was still her best friend in (Y/N)’s eyes.

She held that same malice towards Freed, Bixlow and Evergreen during the first few weeks after she woke up, but she soon grew tired of it. (Y/N) was known to be a cheerful and bubbly girl. Hatred wasn’t something that she normally felt, so it took a lot out of her. She didn’t want to hold on to the past and she saw the regret in their eyes every time they apologized or spoke to her. In the eyes of the three said mages, it felt like (Y/N) was going too soft on them. After all, she had a forever lasting disability because of them. That’s why the three made a promise to one another to protect (Y/N) as they did with Laxus.

Everyone was now gathered in the guild to hear the announcement of the selected members to participate in the S-class trails. (Y/N) felt bittersweet upon hearing the names. She was glad for each and every one of them, but it was also wildly known that she was supposed to be up there. Freed wanted to retreat from the competition, but (Y/N) stopped him, after all, she knew at first hand what it was like to have that opportunity taken away from you. Freed suggested that he would take somebody else then Bixlow so she’d at least had someone to protect her in case of emergency, but (Y/N) once again stopped him. Everyone knew that those two together in a fight were basically unbeatable, so the younger mage encouraged them to team up. Something she'd soon regret.

The news of basically half of Fairy Tail disappearing on Terou Island hit the remaining guild members hard. Everyone desperately searched for them, but it was a lost cause. The news of all the strong members disappearing also spread like wildfire. Some guilds took this as an opportunity to attack the weaker guild. At first, the attacks were nothing more than threats once they learned that (Y/N) wasn’t one of the powerful mages that disappeared. Unlike the information about the missing Fairy Tail wizards, it wasn’t very known that (Y/N) was badly injured during the Battle Of Fairy Tail. However, the other guilds soon enough learned that (Y/N) wasn’t as powerful as she used to be. This didn’t stop her from protecting her family, though. “Don’t you dare hurt anymore of my friends” (Y/N) warned as she whipped the blood from her split lip, the rage was flaring in her eyes.

The men of the other guild cackled at the wounded girl in front of them, who was clearly outnumbered. Even if (Y/N) still had her full strength, she would have had a hard time dealing with these guys. One of the men stepped forward “What are you going to do about it? Fairy Tail is nothing but a joke”

(Y/N) didn’t care that she couldn’t overdo her powers, all she cared about was protecting her friends right here, right now. She summoned hundreds of blades made out of light and moved through the men swiftly as they tried to hit her. She cut down at least half of the opposing guild until she herself fell to the floor, clutching her chest and gasping for air. The men didn’t hesitate for a second to attack (Y/N). They kicked and stomped on the girl that was desperately shielding herself as much as she could.

“(Y/N)!” Romeo yelled as he successfully burned some men that were kicking the said girl, but the young mage didn’t last long as he soon was punched to the ground as well.

“Let this be a lesson, brat. Don’t interfere with grown-up stuff” The leader said as he kneeled down besides Romeo “From now on, you will be paying us to let you stay here”

With that, the guild known as Twilight Orge, left a defeated Fairy Tail to take care of their wounded members. “(Y/N)! Hey, stay awake! Don’t you dare close your eyes” It was Bisca that was quickly by her side to rest the girl's head in her lap. “Jet! Get Porlyusica, quickly!”

The speedster soon returned with the healer who scolded (Y/N) for overdoing her power “If you keep doing this, one of these days could be the end.”

“I can’t just stand on the sideline and watch my friends get hurt” (Y/N) defended her actions, but Porlyusica shot those down with just one stare “You’ll have no choice but to rely on them, at least that is if you want to keep living”

“I’d rather die fighting than see my family get hurt while I know I could do something about it” (Y/N) said, not cowering down under the icy glare of the older wizard.

Porlyusica sighed, knowing that there was no point in trying to change your mind “I prepared some injections if you were to do something so stupid again.”

That’s how seven long years past. (Y/N) standing up for her family whenever another guild decides to pick a fight with them. She always ends up getting beaten, but she’s happy knowing that she’s the one getting hurt and not her friends. It also became routine to inject (Y/N) with the medicine Porlyusica left behind after the fight. The only problem was that it was taking longer and longer for (Y/N) to wake up. That’s why everyone decided to work double as hard to protect (Y/N) like she had done for them all those years.

It was a routine for Twilight Orge to collect their money once a week, but for some reason, they wanted to collect it sooner. Everyone protested, especially Romeo.

“We don’t have any money to pay you guys,” The young wizard said “To have been tamed by punks like these… Father and everyone else except for (Y/N) are cowards. I’m going to fight! If things keep up, Fairy Tail’s name will be worthless!” Romeo started to make a fireball in his hand but it quickly got blown out by one of the messengers of Twilight Orge.

“The name became worthless long ago, no? You guys will never be above us, as long as you live!” As the guy drew his sword, (Y/N) didn’t hesitate for a second to stand in front of the younger mage to take the punch. However, it wasn’t her that was sent flying across the room. It was the messenger himself.

Everyone was flabbergasted at the sight of their old Fairy Tail members, but (Y/N) had only eyes for one wizard “Laxus”

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talesofphantombandits · 3 years

Text

Zero to Six ~ Going Underground - Edited Version. Part 3.

Characters: Four X Zero (OC) Summary: Zero was the first person to be ‘saved’ by One, she was his first honorary Ghost. Her knowledge in tech meant she got the role of ‘Hacker’ she recruited new team members, looked for missions and locations and made sure every security measure was looked at. You know normal hacker spy stuff. But her tough up bringing meant that if needs be she could fight, she was maybe even better than some people on the team knew. But due to One’s protectiveness over her she had to stay hidden, she was more of an actual ghost than the rest of the team was. This didn’t mean she couldn’t have her fun though, over the months of being with the full team she had formed quite a passionate love/ hate relationship with the handsome Four. Who knows what sparks would fly if they were ever to meet. Warnings: Slight swearing, some suggestive flirting in later chapters.

Tagg list: (I know this is a edit of my original story but if anyone wants to be tagged let me know.) @raylan-c

Zero to Six ~ Part 1. Edited Version. Materlist.

It was exactly one month after Zero had last seen One in her flat, she had flown back home two days after the incident and hadn’t heard from him since. Apart from tickets emailed to her for Las Vegas and a hotel room that she assumed was where their next mission was going to be.

She’d flown out to Vegas a few days back, part of her was glad that she hadn’t had to converse with him. She was still incredibly upset that just the thought of hearing his voice nearly put her into a fit of rage. She kept all contact to a minimum while throwing herself fully into her research, she’d only kept in regular contact with Three and Five, although Four would randomly drop in to annoy her.

She’d woken up at about 10am, she hopped out of bed only for the purpose of making food. Once the pancakes had finished cooking she hopped back into the comfort of her bed and opened her laptop, she went back and forth eating and doing research. The next time she found herself looking at the clock it was 12:30pm, it took all of her will power to drag herself back out of bed to put her plate and utensils in the dishwasher and then into the bathroom for a shower. When she reemerged from the steaming room she was greeted by the ding that signalled she had a email.

She opened it and the first thing that caught her attention was that it was from One. Sighing she knew that she couldn’t ignore it, for it might have been something really important.

‘Meet me at the Golden Cafe down the street at 17:00 sharp, make sure to wear something that won’t draw attention to you. Wear a black cap. P.s Remember don’t say anything the others about this. -One.’

‘Don’t wear anything that will draw attention to you.’ who the hell did One think she was? She really had to calm herself down before she went to meet him. If this meeting was going to go well, she would have to have a level head around him.

“Ah Zero, you’re online. To be fair I should have guessed as you’re always online.” She slightly jumped as Fours deep voice burst through the speakers.

“Jesus Four.” She put a hand over her heart to calm herself down.

He started to laugh. “Did I startle you darling?” She huffed and plopped down on the bed next to her laptop so she could connect the earpiece and speak to him properly.

“No, I just wasn’t concentrating fully that’s all.” She glanced at the time again, It was still early she furrowed her brow confused. “What are you doing up so early anyway? I thought you always stayed up late doing dodgy stuff on the internet?”

He just scoffed at her in disbelief. “Excuse me darling, but who do you take me for?”

“She’s not wrong though is she? I think I’ve accidentally walked in on you enough times to say that, that is the truth.” Two chimed in, to which Four immediately started up his defence.

Zero just laid back in her bed and basked in the happiness that was, to her a family argument.

Four had the last word though. “Oh shut up Two! I bet you’ve seen worse, Wait a second How do you know what I’m doing on a night?”

Zero all but gasped. “Is that a confession Four? And I might have to carry out routine security checks on the bases internet. Which means looking through some of your histories.”

“Jesus woman.”

She couldn’t help but giggle at how worried Four sounded, knowing that she could see everything he searched on the internet. “Look I’m just doing my job, I’m just keeping everyone safe.”

“But you’re basically stalking me.” Four hissed.

Zero clicked her tongue. “Did you not hear me sweetie? I HAVE to look into your history for security reasons. Don’t get all shy on me now Four, plus your history isn’t even the spiciest.”

“So who’s the worst then?”

She laughed, like she was going to tell him that. “That sir, I can’t disclose.”

“You’re no fun Zero, I thought we told each other everything.” She could hear the pout in his voice and she wished she could see his adorable face.

“Oh we tell each other everything do we?” She laughed. “Then how come I didn’t know you had a marking kink?”

“LISTEN STOP STALKING ME! I SWEAR TO GOD ZERO! JUST YOU WAIT UNTIL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU I’L-” Just like that she cut off the coms laughing hysterically at Fours outburst.

Looking to the clock she noticed that she just had enough time to change and dry her hair before she had to make her way to the cafe.

When she finally made it to the cafe she spotted One straight away, he was stood by the counter. When they made eye contact he ushered her to follow him to the furthest booth in the back of the shop.

“Why did we meet here? Why didn’t you just come up to the hotel room?” She whispered as she sat down by the side of him.

“Because I’m here, and he doesn’t want me to know where he’s keeping you.” Zero’s head shot up to the second voice, she looked at one expecting him to instantly tell her who this other woman was.

But her brain finally caught up to her and it registered the accent. “Five?” She said in disbelief.

She quickly snapped back to One who seemed more interested in the phone in his hand then on the meeting. “I thought you said I couldn’t tell the others about this?”

“He asked me to help you get ready for tonight.” Five had now moved around the back of One’s chair and took a seat.

“Tonight?” Zero’s brows furred in confusion. “You mean the mission is tonight?”

“Yes.” One said still more immersed in his phone, It was starting to piss her off. “Did I not mention that in the email this morning?”

Zero gritted her teeth. “No, you made no mention that a big mission, not to mention my first ever mission would be tonight.”

Finally he peered up from his phone to see Zero angrily staring him down. “Okay look.” Finally the phone landed on the table. “It’s simple really, You’re going to be working as a bartender. Which luckily for you, you already have experience in. Serve drinks to anyone that comes up to the bar, start conversations, ask questions but most importantly listen to the conversations around you. People get drunk at these things and spill shit that their not suppose to, and so the rest of the team aren’t suspicious your coms will be off when you start your shift.”

“What will you tell them? Isn’t it going to be more suspicious that I’m not at the end of coms?” She looked between One and Five.

“It’s not really a tech based mission, I’ll just say I gave you the night off.” He shrugged.

“What about the others? Where will they be?” By that she meant where would Four be, but she wasn’t going to outright say that, not in front of One at least.

“Two and Three have their own little mission in the hotel, Seven will be taking a backseat and Four and Five will be working the floor in the club you’ll be serving.” She looked to Five at the mention of Four, her eyes lit up. “AH! Don’t even think about it, off limits Zero.”

She just scoffed at him, he acted like he was her real father sometimes. “As if I didn’t know that already, I’m not a child One. I can handle myself.”

“Yeah well I’m trusting you, don’t fuck this up Zero. Five has everything prepared for you she’s going to leave first, you wait twenty minutes then follow her to the hotel. Room 374, she’ll get you ready for tonight.”

One got up from his seat without a single sound, he nodded at both the women and then headed for the door. It wasn’t until he was out of sight that Zero looked over at Five, they just smiled at each other. With all the information she had just consumed she hadn’t even stopped to think that she was actually in the presence of one of her family members, one that wasn’t One!

“This is crazy.”

Five just smiled at her, a genuinely beautiful smile that Zero couldn’t help but return. “It’s so nice to finally put a face to the voice.” She looked down at her watch and sighed. “We shouldn’t do this here though, I’m going to leave now I’ll meet you at the hotel. Room 374 remember.”

“Got it! I’ll meet you there.” She couldn’t stop smiling as Five got up and waved her goodbye.

The twenty minutes she waited to follow Five were the longest twenty minutes she’d ever had to wait in her life, it seemed to drag on she was so nervous she had to physically hold her knee down to stop her leg from shaking.

The walk to the hotel didn’t take too long and she reached the lobby in no time, she put on the dark cap paired with some black shades. Nothing too out of the ordinary but it kept her face hidden none the less. Once she walked inside she was in awe, she’d never seen the inside of such an expensive and vast hotel. It was absolutely beautiful, she dreaded to think what a room would cost in this place. As she walked further in she lowered her glasses to get a better look at the foyer her eyes were glued to the ceiling so she didn’t know she was on a collision path with a tall beefy guy who was looking down at his phone until they hit one another and she nearly went flying. Luckily he had reacted in time and broke her fall, though her glasses weren’t so lucky.

She got up and brushed herself off. “God I’m so sorry mami!” Her head shot up at the familiar voice.

Staring back at her was Three, she quickly had to remind herself who she was and where she was. “No problem, I think we were both at fault, I was mesmerised by the ceiling and you by your phone.” The first accent that came to mind was an Irish one, so she went with it.

He just nodded in agreement and gave her a lopsided smile. “Ah! here, you dropped these.” He bent down and handed her back her sunglasses.

“Thanks, sorry again.” She smiled at him one last time then scurried off to the elevators.

Once she was secured and alone in the metal box she let out a breath she didn’t even know she was holding, and sighed. This was going to be one hell of a long night. Her thoughts were interrupted when the elevator dinged, she rushed down the hall and knocked hurriedly on the door labelled 374. She had no intentions of bumping into anyone else, not even a second later Five opened the door and Zero rushed inside.

“Woah, what happened? Are you okay?” Zero moved to the couch in the room and laid down, burrowing her face in her hands.

“I just accidentally bumped into Three downstairs.” She sided eyed Five who looked at her in shock. “Don’t worry I don’t think he knew who I was, I put on an Irish accent. Don’t tell One though he’ll probably pull me from the mission if he finds out.”

Before Five could even respond to her, Zero took notice of her laptop and ear piece on the table in front of her when it started to crackle. “Hey party people, are we all ready for tonight? It’s a shame I won’t get to hear your beautiful voice in my ear tonight Zero, can’t believe that One has actually given you the night off.”

She reached out and took the earpiece. “Don’t be too sad Four, at least you’ll be able to actually concentrate on this mission.” She looked up at Five who was just giggling, It was so strange to actually be in the same room as her. Zero smiled, she could get use to this.

“Who I’m I going to piss off tonight though?” She could practically hear the pout in his voice.

“I’m sure you’ll find some beautiful girl to have on your arm and piss off the entire night.” She felt sad just thinking about it. “Well good luck team, do me proud! and don’t miss me too much.” She shut the communication line down before he could respond.

She looked up to Five as she shut the laptop and took out her ear piece, placing it on top of the laptop. She wouldn’t be needing that now for the rest of the night.

“You okay?” Five gave her a sad smile.

Zero forced herself to look completely unphased. “I’m fine, let’s go get ready.”

.....

Zero stood at the bar, Five had dressed her in black skinny jeans paired with some black Doc Marten boots, a black silk button up and a deep green velvet waistcoat. She wore a dark black wig that came down to her chest and flowed in light curls, her makeup was smoky to match the uniform. She looks professional. The venue was dark, with moody but classy lighting which meant she blended right in. The bartender role came naturally to Zero, before she was a ghost she had worked in a small bar for about two years before everything had kicked off, the events of which led her here.

She started the shift by just cleaning up glasses, serving mostly already drunk customers and listening to every word of every conversation. About five minutes early she had spotted Five enter the room with a rich looking man on her arm, she’d caught Zero’s eye from across the room and winked at her which put her at ease.

Suddenly the air in the room shifted, she couldn’t explain it but her eyes were drawn to the entrance of the club. A man walked in, his blonde hair was slicked back on the top but the sides where shaven. A tight black tux hugged his body, Zero wished she could picture this moment for the rest of her life, butterflies started to stir in her stomach.

It was Four.

#6 underground #6 underground fanfiction #6 underground four #6 underground fanfic #6 underground billy #four #four fanfiction #billy #billy fanfiction #billy x reader #billy x oc #billy x scout #four x reader #four x oc #four x zero #ben hardy #ben hardy fanfic #ben hardy fanfiction #ben hardy four

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noona-clock · 4 years

Text

Traveling Love (Collab) - Part 2

Genre: Fluffy/Romantic AU

Pairing: Nam Joo Hyuk x You (Female!Reader)

Warnings: None

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, Masterlist | Words: 2,230

A/N: Welcome to the third series in the monthly Love In Fours Ways collab with myself, @jackiejacks923 @prettywordsyouleft & @this-song-thats-only-for-you . We have all taken inspiration from 4 illustrations (linked below), and during the last week of the month, we will each be sharing a 4-part mini-series based on those drawings.

Credit to: Puuung - Love Is In The Small Things

Part 2: Taking Photos of Each Other When Traveling to New Places

Joo Hyuk let out a soft groan as he flopped back onto the pristinely-made bed in the hotel room.

“Why is traveling so exhausting?” he murmured as he stared up at the ceiling before briefly closing his eyes.

Once you’d stepped out of your shoes, you gently crawled onto the bed and fit yourself right next to him. “I don’t know,” you sighed. You nestled into his side, resting your head on his shoulder as he put his arm around you and lazily rubbed your upper arm. “You’re just sitting the whole time, no matter if you’re driving on flying. ...Why is it so exhausting?”

After a little over a month of planning, the vacation you’d talked about sitting out on the balcony all those weeks ago had finally arrived. You’d spent more hours than you’d care to admit researching, mapping, booking, scheduling, and now here you were. You’d found the perfect little city next to a small sea with plenty to do and eat, but also plenty of ways to just relax.

Joo Hyuk let out a soft but contented sigh before pushing himself up onto his side and moving his arm out from under you to rest his head in his hand. “This is a nice place,” he stated as he looked around the room. “Good job. I’m very impressed.”

“Thank you,” you beamed, gazing up at him adoringly. “You told me to make this a treat, and I did.”

A tiny grin tugged at Joo Hyuk’s lips, and he lifted his other hand to reach out and tap you gently on the nose. “I knew I could trust you.”

“Of course you can! You know I love to plan things.”

“Exactly,” he nodded. “And you’re very thoughtful.”

“Well,” you murmured as your cheeks flushed a bit. “I try to be, at least.”

But you wouldn’t lie and say that you didn’t feel some sense of achievement at having planned this vacation -- and, so far, everything was going swimmingly, if you did say so yourself.

“What’s on the agenda for the rest of the day?” your boyfriend asked as he gazed down at you warmly. “It’s barely past lunchtime, we’ve got the whole afternoon and evening ahead of us.”

His question made you sit up, your eyes widening a little with excitement. “We have a reservation as this pizza place tonight -- all the reviews I saw said it’s the best pizza in the city. But before that, I figured we would just do some sightseeing, take some pictures, see if anything jumps out at us that we want to do in the next few days. Y’know -- classic tourist exploring.”

Joo Hyuk chuckled a little -- probably because of how weirdly excited you were to tell him the plans -- but he sat right up with you and nodded with determination.

“All right, then,” he said. “Let’s get to it.”

Even though the both of you had just been worn out from traveling all morning, you suddenly felt a burst of energy hit you. You sprang from the bed and headed to your suitcase to unpack.

After both you and Joo Hyuk had changed out of your traveling clothes and grabbed your cameras, the two of you headed out of the hotel and out into the streets of the city.

There was a slight chill in the air, making you relieved you’d put on your favorite green trench coat before leaving the room.

“Where to?” Joo Hyuk asked as he slipped his hand into yours.

You hummed thoughtfully, scrunching up your eyebrows and turning first to the left and then to the right. And since there really wasn’t anything to sway you one way or the other, you simply picked at random.

“This way,” you decided, lifting your free hand to point to the left of the hotel, down the relatively quiet street.

For the next few hours, you and Joo Hyuk roamed the city, barely even getting out your phones to look at maps or search something you wanted to learn more about. There was plenty of time for that during the rest of your trip; right now, you wanted to simply explore. The harmless threat of getting lost was actually kind of exciting because you knew a taxi was just a click away, so why worry? Normally, you did worry about it, but... not right now. Not today.

Today was just for fun.

Since both of you had brought your cameras with you, you spent a lot of time taking pictures -- mostly of the scenery and the awe-inspiring architecture around the city. You also snapped photos of any and all stray or wild animals you saw, so you most likely had about fifteen pictures of just squirrels in your camera roll so far.

Just as you realized the sun was incredibly low in the sky, nearing sunset, Joo Hyuk stopped walking.

“Here, let’s go on that bridge,” he murmured, nodding up toward a pedestrian bridge overlooking the streets below.

You quickly took out your phone to check the time, letting out a soft sigh of relief when you saw it still wasn’t quite time for your dinner reservation yet. In fact, there was absolutely enough time to visit the bridge, so you agreed and followed your boyfriend up there.

“Oh, wow,” you breathed when you stepped onto the wooden planks, your eyes scanning the view in front of and below you. “It’s beautiful.”

The lowering sun was casting the most beautiful golden light out over the city, the top of the sky starting to darken just a hint -- if you looked hard enough, you could see a few stars peeking through.

“And it’s golden hour,” Joo Hyuk added as he lifted his camera up.

“Is it?” you asked, lifting your brows as you turned your head to look at him. “I’ve always been curious what time golden hour was.”

“It’s just whenever the sun makes everything look...” Joo Hyuk smirked a little and gestured around the two of you. “Look like this.”

“Well, then,” you stated, lifting up your camera. “I should take advantage of it.”

No matter how vehemently Joo Hyuk protested it, he absolutely looked like a male model in every single picture he took, no matter if it was a selfie or a picture taken by someone else. He just had no bad angles, and even if the lighting was the opposite of golden hour, he somehow managed to look like he’d stepped straight out of a magazine.

So, were you going to pass up the opportunity to take a picture of your devastatingly handsome boyfriend in what was widely known as the best photography lighting?

No. Absolutely not.

But just after pressing the viewfinder to your eye and hovering your index finger over the button, Joo Hyuk also lifted up his camera.

“Wait, no,” you chuckled, though you still kept your own camera up in front of your face. “I wanted to take a picture of you.”

“But I want to take one of you, too!”

You laughed softly to yourself before going ahead and snapping the picture. You knew that, even with a camera blocking over half of his face, he would still look stunning.

Of course, you did make him put his camera down so you could take other pictures, and while he seemed a bit shy about it, he still posed against the railing of the bridge. But then he made you do the same for him -- and, to be truthful, that was basically the perfect description of your relationship.

Things had always been so equal between the two of you.

You never, ever felt like you gave more than you got, and you also never felt like you got more than you gave. Joo Hyuk wasn’t the most affectionate or emotionally expressive person, but that didn’t mean he ever made you feel unloved. He always showed you in other ways -- more subtle ways, mind you -- but for some reason, it had been incredibly easy for you to learn the language he used to express his feelings for you.

Even from the very beginning, things with Joo Hyuk had been so...

Easy.

You’d never worried about if he’d liked you or not, because you could just tell that he had. You’d never actually verbally established your labels as boyfriend and girlfriend because it had just happened. And you’d realized you were in love with him before you even knew you were starting to fall for him.

The two of you had only been together for a couple of years now, but it felt like forever.

Joo Hyuk had just taken a picture of you as you were looking out over the bridge and pushing your hair back with your fingers (a classic ‘this is a totally casual, candid, absolutely not posed picture’ pose), but instead of keeping his camera up and murmuring another suggestion for a pose, he gently set the camera down, letting it hang taut on its strap. He then slid the strap around his shoulder so the camera was behind him and walked the short distance over to you.

You figured he was coming over to tame a stray lock of hair which had been pushed out of place during the last picture, but instead, he simply stood behind you, circled his arms around you, and pulled you back to his chest.

“Hey,” you greeted with a soft chuckle.

He replied to you by placing a few kisses on your temple and ear, and even though they were very chaste, quick kisses, they still made your cheeks flush.

The two of you stood there for a few moments, Joo Hyuk moving his arms to grasp the railing in front of you while you continued to lean against his chest.

And then, in an incredibly quiet voice, your boyfriend murmured, “This is going to be... so cheesy, but --”

You held your breath, truly not able to anticipate what he might be about to say. You couldn’t remember a time over the last couple of years when Joo Hyuk had ever admitted to saying something cheesy.

“I...” he continued, his words so soft they were almost carried off by the small breeze in the air. “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else right now. I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else, and I wouldn’t want to be doing anything else. Just -- taking pictures with you on this bridge... I don’t know, it’s just -- it’s perfect.”

Of course, his so-called cheesy words made your lips split into a wide, beaming grin, and while you desperately wanted to turn around and face him, you knew he was too shy for that right now.

So, you simply turned your head and placed a kiss on his cheek.

“I think so, too,” you whispered.

You felt Joo Hyuk’s cheek move as he smiled, and then he said, “Thank you for this. I don’t know if I’ve actually thanked you for planning everything, and if I haven’t, I’m sorry because you deserve --”

You couldn’t stop yourself. You turned around in his arms to face him, standing on your toes and capturing his lips in a brief kiss.

“I deserve,” you said after pulling away. “To be with you right here, right now. That’s all. And you’re the one who found this bridge, so I can’t take all the credit.”

The look on your boyfriend’s face made it clear that he was about to refute you, so you continued on before he got the chance.

“I did all the planning before we left, yes -- but all the planning in the world doesn’t guarantee a perfect vacation. Or even a nice one. Now that we’re actually here, that job belongs to both of us. So, if this turns out to be the wonderful, amazing trip that I think it will, it’s not all because of me.”

Joo Hyuk looked into your eyes, his gaze a combination of adoration and admiration. “You’re right,” he said with a small nod.

You were just about to reply to his statement with a very smug “As usual” but to your slight surprise, Joo Hyuk beat you to it.

“As usual,” he smirked.

“Y’know, I think we need to document this moment,” you grinned. “And not just because you said I’m right.”

Joo Hyuk playfully rolled his eyes, but he still shuffled around so his back was against the railing and the two of you were facing away from the view.

You held up your camera, though your boyfriend took it from you without a word -- the guy was tall and had much longer arms than you, better for taking selfies -- and pressed his cheek to your temple.

You smiled brightly, and when you heard the shutter go off, you murmured that he should take one more. And then you turned your head, placing your lips on his cheek as you brought one hand up to cradle his other cheek.

As soon as he took the picture, you knew that one would be going on the bookshelf in your living room at home. You absolutely wanted to remember this moment -- this whole evening, actually -- for the rest of your life, and that picture would be the perfect one to document it.

Part 3

#kwritersworldnet #nam joo hyuk scenarios #nam joo hyuk imagines #nam joo hyuk au #nam joo hyuk fluff #nam joo hyuk fanfic #kdrama scenarios #kdrama imagines #kdrama au #kdrama fluff #kdrama fanfic #nam joo hyuk #kdrama actor #korean actor

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invisibleicewands · 3 years

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Staged's Anna Lundberg and Georgia Tennant: 'Scenes with all four of us usually involved alcohol'

Not many primetime TV hits are filmed by the show’s stars inside their own homes. However, 2020 wasn’t your average year. During the pandemic, productions were shut down and workarounds had to be found – otherwise the terrestrial schedules would have begun to look worryingly empty. Staged was the surprise comedy hit of the summer.

This playfully meta short-form sitcom, airing in snack-sized 15-minute episodes, found A-list actors Michael Sheen and David Tennant playing an exaggerated version of themselves, bickering and bantering as they tried to perfect a performance of Luigi Pirandello’s Six Characters in Search of an Author over Zoom.

Having bonded while co-starring in Good Omens, Amazon’s TV adaptation of Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett’s novel, Sheen, 51, and Tennant, 49, became best buddies in real life. In Staged, though, they’re comedically reframed as frenemies – warm, matey and collaborative, but with a cut-throat competitiveness lurking just below the surface. As they grew ever more hirsute and slobbish in lockdown, their virtual relationship became increasingly fraught.

It was soapily addictive and hilariously thespy, while giving a voyeuristic glimpse of their interior decor and domestic lives – with all the action viewed through their webcams.

Yet it was the supporting cast who lifted Staged to greatness,Their director Simon Evans, forced to dance around the pair’s fragile egos and piggy-in-the-middle of their feuds. Steely producer Jo, played by Nina Sosanya, forever breaking off from calls to bellow at her poor, put-upon PA. And especially the leading men’s long-suffering partners, both actors in real life, Georgia Tennant and Anna Lundberg.

Georgia Tennant comes from showbiz stock, as the child of Peter Davison and Sandra Dickinson. At 36 she is an experienced actor and producer, who made her TV debut in Peak Practice aged 15. She met David on Doctor Who 2008, when she played the Timelord’s cloned daughter Jenny. Meanwhile, the Swedish Lundberg, 26, is at the start of her career. She left drama school in New York two years ago and Staged is her first big on-screen role.

Married for nine years, the Tennants have five children and live in west London. The Lundberg-Sheens have been together two years, have a baby daughter, Lyra, and live outside Port Talbot in south Wales. On screen and in real life, the women have become firm friends and frequent scene-stealers.

Staged proved so successful that it’s now back for a second series. We set up a video call with Tennant and Lundberg to discuss lockdown life, wine consumption, home schooling (those two may be related) and the blurry line between fact and fiction…

Was doing Staged a big decision, because it’s so personal and set in your homes? Georgia Tennant: We’d always been a very private couple. Staged was everything we’d never normally say yes to. Suddenly, our entire house is on TV and so is a version of the relationship we’d always kept private. But that’s the way to do it, I guess. Go to the other extreme. Just rip off the Band-Aid.

Anna Lundberg: Michael decided pretty quickly that we weren’t going to move around the house at all. All you see is the fireplace in our kitchen.

GT: We have five children, so it was just about which room was available.

AL: But it’s not the real us. It’s not a documentary.

GT: Although some people think it is.

Which fictional parts of the show do people mistake for reality? GT: People think I’m really a novelist because “Georgia” writes a novel in Staged. They’ve asked where they can buy my book. I should probably just write one now because I’ve done the marketing already.

AL: People worry about our elderly neighbour, who gets hospitalised in the show. She doesn’t actually exist in real life but people have approached Michael in Tesco’s, asking if she’s OK.

Michael and David squabble about who’s billed first in Staged. Does that reflect real life? AL: With Good Omens, Michael’s name was first for the US market and David’s was first for the British market. So those scenes riffed on that.

Should we call you Georgia and Anna, or Anna and Georgia? GT: Either. We’re super-laidback about these things.

AL: Unlike certain people.

How well did you know each other before Staged? GT: We barely knew each other. We’ve now forged a friendship by working on the show together.

AL: We’d met once, for about 20 minutes. We were both pregnant at the time – we had babies a month apart – so that was pretty much all we talked about.

Did you tidy up before filming? AL: We just had to keep one corner relatively tidy.

GT: I’m quite a tidy person, but I didn’t want to be one of those annoying Instagram people with perfect lives. So strangely, I had to add a bit of mess… dot a few toys around in the background. I didn’t want to be one of those insufferable people – even though, inherently, I am one of those people.

Was there much photobombing by children or pets? AL: In the first series, Lyra was still at an age where we could put her in a baby bouncer. Now that’s not working at all. She’s just everywhere. Me and Michael don’t have many scenes together in series two, because one of us is usually Lyra-wrangling.

GT: Our children aren’t remotely interested. They’re so unimpressed by us. There’s one scene where Doris, our five-year-old, comes in to fetch her iPad. She doesn’t even bother to glance at what we’re doing.

How was lockdown for you both? AL: I feel bad saying it, but it was actually good for us. We were lucky enough to be in a big house with a garden. For the first time since we met, we were in one place. We could just focus on Lyra . To see her grow over six months was incredible. She helped us keep a steady routine, too.

GT: Ours was similar. We never spend huge chunks of time together, so it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. At least until David’s career goes to shit and he’s just sat at home. The flipside was the bleakness. Being in London, there were harrowing days when everything was silent but you’d just hear sirens going past, as a reminder that something awful was going on. So I veered between “This is wonderful” and “This is the worst thing that ever happened.”

And then there was home schooling… GT: Which was genuinely the worst thing that ever happened.

You’ve spent a lot of time on video calls, clearly. What are your top Zooming tips? GT: Raise your camera to eye level by balancing your laptop on a stack of books. And invest in a ring light.

AL: That’s why you look so much better. We just have our sad kitchen light overhead, which makes us look like one massive shiny forehead.

GT: Also, always have a good mug on the go [raises her cuppa to the camera and it’s a Michael Sheen mug]. Someone pranked David on the job he’s shooting at the moment by putting a Michael Sheen mug in his trailer. He brought it home and now I use it every morning. I’m magically drawn to drinking out of Michael.

There’s a running gag in series one about the copious empties in Michael’s recycling. Did you lean into lockdown boozing in real life? AL: Not really. We eased off when I was pregnant and after Lyra was born. We’d just have a glass of wine with dinner.

GT: Yes, definitely. I often reach for a glass of red in the show, which was basically just an excuse to continue drinking while we were filming: “I think my character would have wine and cake in this scene.” The time we started drinking would creep slightly earlier. “We’ve finished home schooling, it’s only 4pm, but hey…” We’ve scaled it back to just weekends now.

How did you go about creating your characters with the writer Simon Evans? AL: He based the dynamic between David and Michael on a podcast they did together. Our characters evolved as we went along.

GT: I was really kind and understanding in the first draft. I was like “I don’t want to play this, it’s no fun.” From the first few tweaks I made, Simon caught onto the vibe, took that and ran with it.

Did you struggle to keep a straight face at times? AL: Yes, especially the scenes with all four of us, when David and Michael start improvising.

GT: I was just drunk, so I have no recollection.

AL: Scenes with all four of us were normally filmed in the evening, because that’s when we could be child-free. Usually there was alcohol involved, which is a lot more fun.

GT: There’s a long scene in series two where we’re having a drink. During each take, we had to finish the glass. By the end, we were all properly gone. I was rewatching it yesterday and I was so pissed.

What else can you tell us about series two? GT: Everyone’s in limbo. Just as we think things are getting back to normal, we have to take three steps back again. Everyone’s dealing with that differently, shall we say.

AL: In series one, we were all in the same situation. By series two, we’re at different stages and in different emotional places.

GT: Hollywood comes calling, but things are never as simple as they seem.

There were some surprise big-name cameos in series one, with Samuel L Jackson and Dame Judi Dench suddenly Zooming in. Who can we expect this time around? AL: We can’t name names, but they’re very exciting.

GT: Because series one did so well, and there’s such goodwill towards the show, we’ve managed to get some extraordinary people involved. This show came from playing around just to pass the time in lockdown. It felt like a GCSE end-of-term project. So suddenly, when someone says: “Samuel L Jackson’s in”, it’s like: “What the fuck’s just happened?”

AL: It took things to the next level, which was a bit scary.

GT: It suddenly felt like: “Some people might actually watch this.”

How are David and Michael’s hair and beard situations this time? AL: We were in a toyshop the other day and Lyra walked up to these Harry Potter figurines, pointed at Hagrid and said: “Daddy!” So that explains where we’re at. After eight months of lockdown, it was quite full-on.

GT: David had a bob at one point. Turns out he’s got annoyingly excellent hair. Quite jealous. He’s also grown a slightly unpleasant moustache.

Is David still wearing his stinky hoodie? GT: I bought him that as a gift. It’s actually Paul Smith loungewear. In lockdown, he was living in it. It’s pretty classy, but he does manage to make it look quite shit.

#Michael Sheen #David Tennant #Staged #Staged 2 #Georgia Tennant #The tidy corner #we noticed it #Staged2 #SwedishFishAL

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unfortunateleigh20 · 4 years

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october 21 (pt. 1)

It’s been a little while since I’ve posted. I’ve been really busy.

I’m almost finished with reading Tara Westover’s memoir Educated for one of my classes, and it’s beginning to hit me hard. The past few chapters I’ve read have been about her experience at the end of her undergraduate college career. She speaks about her advisor while she’s studying abroad, and how he’s blow away by her, what she has to say, and her intelligence. I think this really effected me in many ways:

1. I am attending a college that is only about an hour away from my house, in-state. While college-searching, I did not want to be this close, but I decided that I would start my first year at my school and see how it went. This was also partially because I never pictured myself going to college. I have always felt very strongly about school and education systems, and I am very against school in the US, especially public school. High school was awful for me—I got good grades, and I did well, but my mental health was horrible, I did not have good friends, I was always under immense amounts of stress due to the carelessness of teachers, and it was an all-around terrible experience. Even from a young age—as soon as I could really understand what college was—I didn’t want to go. I thought it was a waste, and and pointless, especially if you didn’t know what you wanted to do in life. It wasn’t until eleventh grade that I decided I wanted to go to college, after having an epiphany while in my Advanced Behavioral Science class. That’s when I made the choice to go.

I mention all of this because, like I said, it was never my intention to go to college. At least, not until I realized what I was passionate about, and what I wanted to do. I guess this first year, for me, was kind of testing the waters, so to speak, to determine if college was actually something I wanted. And I will say, education wise, I am thriving compared to high school. (I firmly believe I learned very little in middle & high school. I basically taught myself everything, and any additional knowledge I had came from my own personal interests.)

However, I did not want to go to a college that was so close to home. I wanted to get far away from the toxicity of my childhood. That obviously didn’t happen. I settled for this school because it was the best one out of those I applied. I am a first generation college student, and knew nothing about college going into it. I was extremely overwhelmed with the process of finding schools and applying, and I still feel anxious about it regularly.

And I do like my school; it’s a good school. I just don’t think it’s for me. I want something much bigger, with more opportunities; and I don’t want to be at a place where everybody knows each other, I prefer the mysteriousness of being in such a large school that you can always meet new people. This I regret. And it leads me to my next point.

2. I really do not want to attend this school next year. However, with COVID-19, I see it as my best option—financially, and for my own health. I am so thoroughly frustrated that I had to start college during a global pandemic. And while I’m thankful that I had and have the opportunity to attend college—especially one that has in-person classes—it is just so overwhelming to me.

I want to transfer, but the thought of having to find a new school terrifies me because of the intimidating application process. (Is there someone I could work with that would help me with this sort of thing?) And, if this pandemic is still going on next year, is there a point in applying to a different college? Also, I really do not want to go to college next year, if this pandemic continues. But I’m afraid to take a year off, as well. COVID-19 has just has such a horrible impact on me and my mental health this year, as I start college; not because I am worried about the actual virus, but because of all of the effects it is leaving in its wake. This is just not a world I feel I can continue to survive in.

3. Speaking of attending a different school, I want to study abroad so bad. When I was looking at colleges during my junior and senior year of high school, I never wanted to study abroad. I felt very strongly about it. Now that I’ve actually started school, I want to study abroad so bad. The issue is, I don’t know how to fluently speak any other languages besides English (and I don’t know if you have to speak another language in order to be able to study abroad). But while reading Westover’s memoir, I realized that even going somewhere like the UK would be possible, because the language is still English. And I’ve always wanted to go there.

But I don’t know if it costs more money, and I have no money. My family is in just the right spot where we aren’t considered “poor enough” to qualify for scholarships or financial aid. However, my parents are also not helping to pay for my attending college in any way. I don’t have a consistent job, and even if I wanted one, the issue again goes back to COVID-19, and my own social anxiety.

I try to apply for scholarships, but it’s so overwhelming—to have to worry about school work, work, social life, home life, whether I’m going to college next year, if I want to transfer, if I want to study abroad, and also apply for as many scholarships as possible. How do I find scholarships? Where do I find them? How do I get them? I’m so stressed that I can’t even focus on doing them well, and obviously that has an impact on whether I’m chosen or not.

4. Furthermore, I’ve been struggling on and off with feeling like I’m not intelligent. I don’t feel like I don’t belong—that isn’t the case. (Well, I do feel like I don’t belong, but not because I don’t feel like I’m not “smart enough.” I feel like I don’t belong for a separate reason.) I just feel like everybody else is so intelligent, and it is so easy for them to communicate it outwardly—whether it’s verbally or through writing. Sometimes I feel like I’m not intelligent at all. Actually, I’ve always felt that way until just within the past year, when I started to realize that I do have a lot of knowledge about a lot of things. But I still feel like I’m not smart enough. And much, much worse is that, even at times when I feel like I am smart, I know that I cannot communicate my thoughts properly. I’ve been told on a very surprising (to me) number of occasions that I’m “very articulate.” I don’t even know what that means.

I don’t feel like I can communicate what I’m thinking at all. I feel like nobody ever understands what I’m trying to say, and oftentimes, as a way to make up for it, I feel like I over-explain things or go into way too much detail. I am suspended in a constant state between explaining too much and not explaining enough. I have so much to say, but I don’t know how to say it. And I can’t say anything out loud, but I say too much through writing. I have so many opinions and thoughts, but I can’t verbalize it.

I guess maybe my largest issue is that I seek validation. I feel like I am not intelligent unless people tell me that I’m intelligent (mainly because I don’t know anything about myself). So without people telling me I’m intelligent, I don’t feel it. And without being able to verbalize my thoughts, nobody is telling me that I’m intelligent. It’s an awful, harmful cycle, but I don’t know how to break out of it.

And just recently I’ve realized how much of an impact my mental illness has on me. For as long as I can remember, I’ve never been able to think clearly. I worry about too many things at once, and my mind always feels like it’s in a fog. Every once and awhile, very, very rarely, does this all go away for an hour or so, and I can write something incredible. My thoughts are concise, powerful, and thorough. But this has only happened a handful of times; less times than I can count on one hand. It makes me so angry that my mental illness is keeping me from being able to think clearly and perform clearly, but I don’t know what to do. It feels entirely hopeless.

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stephhannes · 4 years

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new year, who dis

what would be the use in becoming a symbol of walking desolation? awash in multiple griefs, elaborating on anguish. even if i never get to see you again, i’ll know that when we collided we both broke each other open.

-mount eerie, love without possession

i guess it’s been four months since i’ve sat down to write an actual blog. i figured i should at least try to get something out before the new year.

i’ve tried to write an update a few times over the last couple of months, but every time i tried to write something, it’s just aggressively sad. like that one st. vincent lyric— i try to write you a love song, but it comes out a lament. and while an aggressively sad tone is appropriate to how i’ve been feeling, i’ve been trying to bring less sad energy to the table. (a surprise to everyone, because sad energy is my entire brand).

I planned to get this blog up by january 1st. and then i kept putting it off. hence why this starts off saying things like, “i guess it’s been four months,” and “i figured i should at least try to get something out before the new year.” today is february 4th, which means it’s officially been a year and a half since nathan died.

in the last few weeks, i’ve been under a lot of stress. i’m juggling three jobs right now, and somehow still don’t make enough money to survive. i’m sure that at this point, i’ve described to you my bona-fide money saving technique. it’s called “i only eat three days a week because it’s too expensive to feed myself every day,” sometimes, i get lucky, and get the scraps from events at work, and that’s literally like the one (1) thing i look forward to.

i’m still out here searching for a salary (and health insurance) and hopefully, by my birthday, i’ll have that. but we’ll see, the job search has been uhhh…..abysmal to say the least.

anyways, in the midst of being stressed, i’ve realized that i really don’t think about nathan all the time like i used to. sometimes i’ll go like two days before i’m reminded of him. the other day, i was like “am i a bad person because of this?” and like, logically, i know that it’s totally normal, but on the other hand, i can’t help but feel guilty because of it sometimes. i feel a sense of responsibility to exist as a reminder of “hey, this person existed, and they mattered,” and while i realize that’s a huge weight to put onto myself, i feel like if i don’t, then who will?

last night, i was reading house of leaves (which, despite owning a copy since high school, i’ve actually never read it before) and i found nathan’s bookmark (a ticket from a baseball game he went to right after he moved to new york) in it, from when i let him take a few of my books when he moved to nyc. i got weirdly emotional and was like “wow what a fun coincidence to find this item of nathan’s that i’ve never seen before in my life on the 1.5 year anniversary of him dying.” i’m not saying i’m superstitious, but maybe i am a little stitious.

+++

since the last time i wrote a blog, i’ve kept notes on my phone every time something happens that i feel holds some sort of importance- so here’s what’s been in my notes since august 4th.

august 24, 2019. 4:17am

when i went into work on august 5th, a coworker of mine asked how i was doing. i was doing alright. the anniversary of nathan’s death really didn’t hit me too hard. i assumed i would have a huge nervous breakdown, and i didn’t.

then my coworker, who’d also lost a partner, told me, “i hate to sound negative and be the one to tell you this but the second year is a lot harder than the first.”

that’s what i’d been reading online for months, but to hear someone say it to my face i was just like… oh shit.

and so far, the second year has been harder.

i’ve officially been out on my own for a month now.

the best part about having depression is that no matter where you are, you still have depression. i don’t know why i was expecting moving to just alleviate all of my sadness when i know that i’ll always find a way to be miserable wherever i am.

it’s nice to be out of abilene and at least have the option of opportunity, but i basically just spend all of my free time asleep or crying.

as the ancient oracle, britney spears, once said- “my loneliness is killing me.”

now that i’ve started getting into a routine, i’m starting to feel that hole in my life again.

i’m on the same schedule that i was when i lived in new york, almost.

when we lived in new york, i would leave for work around 4, i’d get home around 11:30, and then nathan and i would hang out until around 4am, and then go to bed. the next day, he’d usually wake me up at a normal time, (or at least 2 hours before i had to be at work).

and now i have to leave for work around 4:30, i get home around 11, and when i come home i’m just alone. and i lay in bed until i’m finally exhausted enough to fall asleep, usually around 5am. and then i wake up ten minutes before i have to go to work.

i have been feeling this deep, existential sadness for awhile now. every night, i lay in bed and think about all of the conversations i wish i could revisit with nathan. all of the things i wish i’d said. i relive all of my favorite moments of ours. i am still so desperate to feel close to him again.

i cannot remember a time in my life when i was excited to wake up. i cannot remember a time when i looked forward to my future. in fact, when i think about my mental health as a child, the only thing i remember is one time when i was 12, my dad bought me tickets to see my favorite band. i was obviously so incredibly excited, and expressed the human emotion of joy, and my mother accused me of being on drugs because she’d “never seen me act like that before.” it was so surprising to her to see me happy that she literally thought i was on drugs.

i’ve been like this for as long as i can remember, except for the two years that nathan and i were together. i was still so depressed when we lived together, but for the first time, i was looking forward to the future. for the first time, dealing with my depression seemed worth it. for the first time, putting effort into getting better made sense.

for the first time in my life, i didn’t feel alone.

and it took a lot of effort on nathan’s part to make sure that i didn’t feel alone. the loneliness i’ve always felt is like a self-fulfilling prophecy. i actively choose to retreat from friendships and relationships. i stop responding to texts. i hide away and cancel plans. it’s my fault that i feel isolated- because i isolate myself. and nathan refused to let me do that. when i get stressed, i internalize everything and take it all on my own- and nathan would recognize when i was doing that and beg me to let him help. and i wouldn’t let him help. but he would still do it, because he knew what i needed without me asking and would just quietly provide it for me so that i wouldn’t lose my mind. and a lot of the time the help was just him actively sitting me down and reminding me that i’m in fact, not alone. i’ll never forget when i was so stressed after moving to new york because i was so poor, and nathan telling me that “it’ll be okay. we’ll figure it out.” i never asked him for money, or for help, because i have too much pride for that. but even when i was working, i was struggling to make ends meet for myself, and he would sneakily do things like go to the grocery store and be like “oh hey, i was at the store today and just picked up some chicken for you so you don’t have to go yourself.” there were a few times when i asked him to pick up something from the halal cart for me because i didn’t want to get out of bed and i’d be like “there’s cash in my wallet just grab it” but instead of taking the money from my wallet, he’d just get the food for me, and put the change he had leftover in my wallet for me to have.

but even past that, just emotionally, he’d always reassure me that i wasn’t alone. as soon as he started to sense me doing the thing where i try to isolate myself, he’d just cling to me even harder.

here’s the thing: i’m too tired to fight for myself, and i don’t have anyone that’ll fight for me the way that nathan did.

august 29th, 2019. 5:32pm

so here’s the tea: i went on a date for the first time since nathan died. i went out last night, got drunk, got on bumble and agreed to go on a date this morning. so yeah, i was aggressively hungover, which is maybe not the best version of me for someone to meet- but it’s the version i brought to the table nonetheless. and like, it was fine. well, up until the point he was trying to relate to me and my career in theatre and told me that his favorite musical is CATS. his favorite cat is the rum tum tugger, and he can’t wait to see the movie in december.

it’s not going to work out. CATS is an abomination and i refuse to spend time with anyone who disagrees with that statement.

on a more serious note: i realized that i definitely don’t have the emotional capacity to date. i just can’t bring myself to care about anything anyone has to tell me about themselves. you have two sisters, your parents divorced when you were 8 and and you love CATS? zzzzz….sorry, that was me blacking out for 7 minutes.

y’know, i’m unsure about a lot of things in my life. like, don’t try to ask me what i want for dinner because i refuse to make a decision about anything. don’t ask me what my favorite movie is, or my favorite book. i have no idea, dude, sorry. BUT the one thing i have incredible clarity about is what i deserve in a relationship. i had impossibly high standards before nathan and i were together and now they’re even higher- but that’s fine when you don’t have the emotional capacity to deal with scrubs to begin with.

the other day, i found my journal that i kept in college. it starts in august of 2015, with the eulogy i wrote for my dad’s funeral. an excerpt: “despite me acting like an awful teen at times, he always was on my side. i think that’s what i’ll miss the most. i’ll miss having someone who had my back 100%. i’ll miss having someone who was always making sure i was happy…” and after reading that, i realized why my relationship with nathan was so successful. i’ve always heard that “girls always end up marrying someone like their dad” thing, and for the most part always chalked it up to weird patriarchal bullshit, but maybe there’s a little truth in it. because i definitely see some of my favorite things about my dad reflected in my favorite things about nathan.

september 30, 2019. 1:09am

sometimes the saddest things must be sung.

every time i try to write, it’s impossible to say anything that’s not just “i’m sad.” i haven’t been feeling great lately. i just feel trapped in this infinite loop of sadness and it’s so exhausting. i don’t like being like this. nathan would always get so frustrated with me when my depression was really bad, and i’d always be like do you think this is fun for me??? do you think i like being like this??? do you think i wake up and want to be a goblin??? newsflash my dude, i don’t.

here’s the thing: when nathan first died, i was sad all the time. but it made sense. i had a reason to be sad all of the time.

but i’m still sad all of the time. i wake up, i’m sad for 10 hours and then i go to bed. and then i wake up, maybe go to work, come home and be sad until bedtime. it’s a constant loop of sadness and i am so tired.

nothing i do fulfills me. nothing satisfies me. i have neither purpose nor direction. i’m tired. and i’m sad.

october 2nd, 2019. 7:34pm

i went to urgent care today- turns out i don’t have depression, i just have a torn ligament in my ankle.

for context: i fell down the stairs at work the other day, crunched my ankle like it was an empty ozarka water bottle, and just wrecked my shit. i think this injury has me sadness spiraling a lot more than i normally do. now i get why nathan used to get so depressed whenever he’d injure himself.

the first time i got really sick after nathan died, i was so sad. this is my first ever really bad physical injury- i’ve never broken a bone or torn anything before, and i’m really feeling the loss of nathan right now. like how am i supposed to feed myself when i can barely walk to the kitchen? who’s supposed to remind me to take my ibuprofen every few hours?

senior year of college, i kept getting strep, and the only reason i didn’t die is because every 12 hours nathan would call me to make sure i took my antibiotics, even when i had to take them at 2am. i only have two voicemails from him saved on my phone and literally one of them is from 3am and he’s like “hello wake up, your penicillin is calling, i’m gonna keep calling you until you wake up.”

even though spraining my ankle was a nightmare, it could’ve been worse. just think, if i was a framing device in an emily bronte novel, i would have just had to live at work for five weeks until it healed.

october 11th, 2019. 5:37pm

i haven’t been sleeping lately, and last night i fell asleep around 6am. the cold front had just blown in and it was raining and i finally fell asleep. before i went to bed, i cracked my windows open for the first time this year and when i woke up this morning it was chilly in my room. i woke up in a little cocoon of all of my blankets and pillows and for a moment, before i completely opened my eyes, it felt like i was back in new york, waking up with nathan on a fall wednesday morning. it’s the little things.

october 25th, 2019. 2:19am

i keep thinking about all the things that have returned to me. all of the things that i gave to nathan that are back in my possession, tucked away in my room. like the grey ut shirt that was 3 sizes too big for me- so i gave it to him as a christmas present our first year together. he had been in new york for a semester, and he surprised me by coming to austin for new year’s- we hadn’t talked about christmas gifts or anything, but we ended up giving each other almost the exact same gift. he had gotten me a columbia sweater, and he slept in it for a few days before giving it to me, so it smelled like him. i did the exact same thing with that grey shirt. we couldn’t stop laughing when we exchanged the gifts because we were so amused that we’d gotten the same thing for each other.

after he died, that shirt was one of the few that i kept of his, he slept in it all the time when we lived together. it still smells like him.

i don’t wear my rings anymore, but when i see them in the bottom of my jewelry box, i think about the day that i gave him the engagement ring. he was so afraid of me saying no if he were to propose to me, so i told him that when i knew i’d say yes- i’d give him the ring i wanted him to use. on our first anniversary, i was visiting him in new york, right before i flew back to texas, i left a letter on his desk, with the ring attached. it returned to me a year after that, on our second anniversary when he proposed.

the day after nathan died, i went through all of his stuff. mostly because i knew i was about to fly back to texas and i didn’t know when i’d return to our apartment, so i wanted to collect all of his important documents that i didn’t want to lose. social security card, IDs, cards, passport, etc. but when i was digging through his backpack, i found a folder, where he’d kept all of the letters and cards i’d given to him throughout the years.

my personal favorite was an envelope that had two things in it: a sample size of the perfume that i’ve always worn, and a letter that just said “for when you miss me.” i gave that to him before we were even together. it was during that weird ambiguous era of our relationship where we were too afraid to commit, but were definitely in too deep to not commit. every time i would leave his apartment, he’d comment on how his pillows smelled like me, and how he missed me- right after he made his decision to go to columbia, we assumed we would never see each other again, so i gave him that letter.

i was surprised to see all of those letters because that meant that he moved them from his apartment in abilene, to new york, to our apartment in new york, back to texas, and then to philly.

so in turn, i moved them from philly, back to abilene, and now they’re with me in a box in austin.

and i hope that one day all of the love that i gave to nathan will return to me.

november 4th, 2019. 12:31am

in the deepest, blackest night of despair if you can get just one pinhole of light, all of grace rushes in.

november 19th, 2019. 2:20am

i’ve started taking up space again.

december 20th, 2019. 1:41pm

y’know, i’ve been doing pretty well for myself lately, and by that i mean that i haven’t had any major meltdowns. well, except for a couple of days ago. it was a christmas party, and as we all know- i’m not great at being social. but i also never turn down an invitation, which is a strange combination of things that happen to exist at the core of my being. but luckily, i got a plus one. see, with a plus one, i have a buffer there. i can bring one of my more interesting friends to carry conversations for me and then by proxy i become more able to socialize because i have to expend less energy by having that buffer there. anyways the person i was bringing as my plus one cancelled two hours before the event which meant that i had no time to try to get someone else to come with me. and this threw me into a major breakdown. i didn’t even want to go to the party at this point, but i had spent so much money on an outfit that if i didn’t go i would have wasted like 60 dollars. and i sat there trying to put makeup on to go but i kept crying and ruining it and then i chugged three white claws before even showing up at the party and i didn’t eat beforehand because there was supposed to be food there but by the time i was done crying and arrived, there was nothing left and then i drank 5 glasses of wine because it was free and i have social anxiety, and somehow i made it through the night without making a fool of myself, which is a miracle.

the thing is, i really don’t get upset about a lot of things. but if someone cancels or changes plans on me, especially plans that we’d had set for at least a month in advance, i lose my god damn mind. there is historically nothing that upsets me more.

but this time around, i realized that it really hurt me because it was the first time that i was confronted with the fact that i no longer have anyone in my life that prioritizes me. like, if nathan was begrudgingly my plus one to an event, he can’t get out of it- it’s non-negotiable. but like, i don’t hold that level of importance in anyone else’s life- there’s always something more important to them and uhhhhh that feeling sucks.

+++

and that was the last note i wrote in 2019. which brings us to january 2020. when i think about my relationship with nathan, i feel like january always ended up being a special month for us. in 2016, january was the first time i ever spent the night with nathan. in 2017, nathan came back to texas to see me for the new year, after we’d been long-distance for five months. at the end of 2017, he went out of town for like three weeks, and i was miserable and all alone for the holidays, but in january 2018, his last day of vacation back home in abilene coincided with my first day of vacation back in abilene so we got to see each other for a little bit instead of having to go an entire month apart during the holidays.

so i always end up getting weird and do a lot of reminiscing in january- but i feel like that’s kind of universal.

like the #1 thing that everyone does is get all existential and contemplative when the new year hits.

+++

in 2018, i never stopped moving. like a shark, i would have died if i stayed in one place for too long. and there i was in 2019, finally staying in one place.

it was a lot easier to ask for help when i had a reason to be sad. but now enough time has passed since nathan died that i feel like a burden when i’m not doing well.

in my blog post wrapping up 2018, i said that my goal was to be kinder to myself. i also said that 2019 was going to be for starting a new life.

and while i’ve been no kinder to myself, at least i’ve made strides in living in this new phase of my life. in 2019 i moved out of my mother’s house, and back into my best friend’s apartment in austin. i got 3 jobs. i cut off all of my hair and pierced my nose. i started taking up space again.

a few weeks ago, a coworker of mine told me that she had also lost a partner before. but what stuck with me was when she said, “you will never be the same. you’ll be happy again, and you’ll fall in love again- but you’ll never be the same person again”

and i’m realizing how true that is.

i think one of the scariest scenarios is waking up one day and not remembering who you are. and that’s exactly what happened to me in 2018. i woke up one day without nathan and couldn’t remember who i was.

one thing everyone’s been talking about lately is how this is the end of the decade, and i realized that nathan was in my life for the entire decade. he was in my life before the decade even started. and then when he died, i lost such a huge part of my identity. there’s a bear’s den lyric that’s like “i don’t want to know who i am without you,” and that’s what 2019 was for me.

kintsugi is the japanese art of fixing broken pottery by mending the areas of breakage with a lacquer mixed with powdered gold. i’ve always been a vase held by shaky hands, constantly on the precipice of shattering- and in 2018 i was dropped. in 2019, i’ve been finding tiny pieces of myself and trying to piece them back together to form a whole person again.

recently, i’ve been realizing all of the little pieces of me that are missing. like the part of me that used to be good at holding conversations with people. and the part of me that had the ability to be a person for more than like 3 hours a day. and the part of me that showed excitement about things. i don’t even know what things excite me anymore? do i have interests or hobbies? not really. one time, i described myself as a robot that powers off if i am not at work, and wow, what an apt description.

the other day, one of my friends called me out about how she can never tell if i’m actually excited about something or not. my language is always very vague and even when i’m really stoked about something, i rarely show excitement about it.

+++

so now it’s february 2020. it’s been a year and a half since nathan died. i’m feeling better. the other day, i came to the realization that i think my emotions have finally leveled off. i’m back to my normal amount of unstable, rather than that really virulent level that i was at for awhile at the end of last year. it feels good to finally have a little bit of control back over my life. i’ve finally really settled in at work, and i’m starting to feel more confident in my capabilities.

so what are my goals for 2020? i think the biggest thing is to find something that i care about. honestly, probably a big part of the reason why i’ve been having such a hard time finding a Big Girl Job to settle into is because there’s just nothing that i’m 100% passionate about. it’s hard for me to find an answer other than “i’m just trying to not die,” whenever i get asked “so why do you want this job?” i really want to find lasting stability this year. i’m tired of not being able to enjoy anything because i don’t have money. whoever said money can’t buy happiness obviously was never poor because let me tell you, i’d be a lot happier if i could afford to go out with my friends more often. or if i could like…….eat 3 meals a day without feeling guilty for wasting food because i know i can live on just one meal a day.

i also started doing a skincare routine that involves like 4 different serums and i’ve been doing really well keeping up with doing it twice a day and if i could carry that energy through the rest of the year that’d be dope. i would make a comment about how i’ve been going to the gym every day and how i’m trying to have a 2020 glo-up but i was going to the gym every day for awhile but i haven’t been in like two weeks.

also my chemical romance just reunited so i guess my other 2020 goal is to see them on this reunion tour.

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ganymedesclock · 6 years

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Something I’ve been thinking of for a while is s5e5, an episode very much Heavily About Family, opens with Sam Holt leaving for Earth and saying goodbye to Pidge and Matt, and then Hunk gives him something to give to all of their families, and basically, it tells us more than we heard before about the paladins.

Most of the new information is from Lance and Hunk, because we already know Pidge’s family situation and Keith isn’t present- Hunk suggests he has a single mother (“so that’s for mom’s eyes only”) and Lance gives us the names of his three older siblings (Marco, Luis, and Veronica).

But interestingly enough, who does Shiro mention, but Commander Iverson. And yes, the specific mention is “tell Iverson I’m gonna punch him for tying me to that table” but that in and of itself caught my attention because... since when does Shiro address superior officers like that? He’s known Allura for something like a year now and still mostly calls her “Princess” respectfully.

But he doesn’t even put a “commander” in there for Iverson the way he does for Sam.

And that occurred to me that...

We know Iverson was one of the people in the unit- the dialogue at the bottom of the screen is him. And there’s a few interesting things here:

I’m pretty sure actually suiting up like a med tech and personally being in the unit is pretty not Iverson’s actual standing and job description. He’s a piloting teacher, which would suggest his credentials are a pilot, and he’s not handling any medical equipment here.

The complete lack of formality goes both ways- Iverson very pointedly calls him “Shiro”- not his full first or last name, but a nickname. Nickname specifically used by Shiro’s friends.

Iverson is the guy on the left here- the guy who Shiro is looking straight at, and who has his hand on Shiro’s arm. Seconds later, one of the other med techs has to point out the arm Iverson is holding right there in that picture was replaced with an alien mechanism. Even though he has his hand on Shiro’s elbow. And would logically notice that this doesn’t feel like an arm.

So I have to wonder if Shiro and Iverson were particularly close? Keaton’s said in interviews his headcanon was Shiro was raised only by a grandparent and probably lost that person a while before meeting Keith, but while the scene in the unit looks kind of bad...

You have to remember the Garrison pretty clearly doesn’t hate Shiro at all. He’s never singled out with the Kerberos mission, and Lance, who’s only heard the Garrison side of things, says that Shiro is his personal hero. Furthermore the disappearance announcement shows both Sam and Matt in space suits- but Shiro in his Garrison uniform, almost definitely to show off that medal pinned to his chest.

Pidge in s3e1 states that Shiro was a “legend” in her house, so we have at least one Garrison Commander that thought the world of Shiro.

And Iverson? Iverson’s cold and snappy, but he also blows up about Kerberos. When Pidge doing the same thing is supposed to tell us she lost people she cared deeply about to the mission, Iverson matches her snarl for snarl in that scene, even when, in other scenes, we see that he’s not as temperamental as his drill sergeant antics suggest.

If anything, the flashback shows us that Iverson obviously hesitated to throw the book at Pidge even when she was compromising sensitive government information with her search for her family. She was, y’know, banned from the Garrison, rather than arrested.

In s1e1, while he’s looking at the Blue Lion with a colleague, the other person gives him a very blatantly smart-aleck answer and Iverson just sort of puts his hands on his hips indifferently.

Even chewing out the team, he’s snappy, but doesn’t have any real heat or venom to it until Pidge sets him off about Kerberos, and once Lance redirects it, that’s when Iverson rounds on him.

So the obvious question is why wasn’t Shiro reassured by him in the unit, if they were that close? And why wouldn’t Iverson listen to him?

Well, you have to consider the way Shiro’s acting in this scene is wildly unlike him. This is something I’ve said before, but Shiro doesn’t exactly put a good foot forwards for the team working on him to drop everything, especially quarantine protocols that are there to protect him and others, to go looking for something on his behest.

This is someone who is usually levelheaded, calm, and approachable. He is currently screaming, admits to being heavily disoriented (he has no idea how much time has passed since his disappearance) has the scars from one or two healed head injuries and is bodily fastened to an unknown piece of technology.

Considering they likely didn’t tie Shiro down to the gurney when he was awake, he was probably unconscious when the team pulled him out of the pod in the first place- which, if you pulled an unconscious person out of a car crash and they woke up screaming and thrashing enough that without intervention they’d slam their head on the gurney and hurt themselves, you’re not going to put much stock into them yelling about aliens.

Yes, Shiro has more things to make the specific aliens thing sound more credible, but Iverson has no reason to believe that Shiro’s claim that they have no time is his usual prudent thinking. If anything, knowing Shiro personally would probably make him more likely to make that call- Shiro is so upset and so panicked that anything that can make the quarantine less awful on him has to be a good idea, especially if, by Iverson’s own explicit reasoning, Shiro’s potentially a danger to himself and others.

I’m surprised at how much people discredit “Put him under until we know what that thing is capable of” if we consider the second time in s1e1 someone pushes Shiro near a panic attack threshold, ‘that thing’ lights up and proves to be a devastating strength laser cutter that’s also able to hurt Shiro himself.

Iverson was completely right about the prosthetic. That doesn’t mean he was endeavoring to lock Shiro in a basement and unperson him. If the gang hadn’t broken Shiro out, it’s almost a definite bet they would’ve cleared quarantine, got Shiro into a more comfortable, livable environment, and wait for him to sleep off the sedative before having a more organized debriefing.

Because, again, Shiro flat-out said he had no idea how much time had passed and was screaming about aliens. This isn’t an environment where literally anyone concerned with the clarity of the ensuing report would ask for one.

And again, Shiro’s awfully cavalier about bringing it up to Iverson, even through Sam as a proxy, which, if Shiro feels like someone has been seriously morally wronged here he tends to be a lot less in good humor about it.

But this leads to something interesting: Iverson and Keith.

Because Keith is a subject Iverson seems to take personally. He’s quick to talk up Keith as a very promising candidate and someone whose “discipline issue” he’s still mad about- and if there’s something to the writer comment that Iverson’s closed eye was part of that discipline issue...

It’s noteworthy that I don’t think we’ve ever seen Keith physically lash out at someone out of anger. He’s pretty easily set off verbally, but- we haven’t seen him even come close to punching someone.

Which would suggest, if Keith argued with Iverson over Shiro, not only was he already incredibly cut up about it, but, this was probably a pretty intense argument. Not something someone being a callous drill sergeant type would be able to set off.

But then I remembered s3e1- and Keith specifically being angry at the rest of the team because he felt like none of them were missing Shiro.

Why?

Because they were acting on other responsibilities.

Iverson is the highest-ranking person we’ve seen in the Garrison. There are probably ranks above Commander (possibly that woman Lance spotted leaving the unit) but Iverson’s still pretty high up the chain of command. He has a lot of responsibilities... and his overall gruffness and distant high standards suggest he’s not someone who wears his hurt on his sleeve.

There’s an easy setup here where Keith tends to be kind of socially oblivious, and especially he tends to be, again, sometimes blind to how much other people care about something. So if Iverson and Keith were both close to Shiro, I can see Keith feeling like Iverson doesn’t care afterwards.

And Iverson... If Iverson’s close to Shiro, it’s very likely that part of the reason Iverson was focused on Keith enough to potentially confront him after Kerberos was because it may well have been Shiro who got Iverson to give Keith a chance. Shiro who put the bug in his ear about this guy. And Keith definitely seems to have been floundering, hard, once he lost Shiro.

I can see Iverson losing patience with this kid because it feels like right after losing Shiro he’s throwing away everything Shiro tried to give him- especially if Iverson was grieving himself and Keith didn’t. recognize that. It’d be a perfect storm kind of situation.

(And again, if Keith hit Iverson hard enough to damage one of his eyes... much like with Pidge, there’s got to be a reason Iverson didn’t, y’know, get Keith arrested for assault)

#voltron legendary defender #vld #Shiro #Keith #Iverson #readmore

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weneverlearn · 7 years

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R.I.P. Grant Hart

When some kind of celebrity death occurs -- and that “celebrity” can be Prince or Paul Hamann -- there’s often a genuinely heartfelt and/or morbid need to reach out and tell someone. Add the internet into that instinct, and this human action takes on more strange, conflicted, even narcissistic layers.

I woke up yesterday to a text about Grant Hart having passed away. I told myself my girlfriend was awake, and gently tapped her on the shoulder to tell her. She has been working a lot lately, and it was probably best to let her sleep and talk about this later. Telling her, telling anyone wasn’t going to bring Grant Hart back. Basically I just confused her, though she sweetly said “Sorry,” and went back to sleep, somehow.

The emotions were flooding through me, and it was one of numerous deaths that have occurred in my sphere of late, so the usual sinking heart feeling sunk as low as it’s been in awhile (and that’s saying something in this Trump era). One song popped in my head, “Think It Over Now,” from Hart’s excellent 1999 solo album, Good News for Modern Man. In a sea of great Grant Hart songs, it’s Ronettes-meets-rainstorm ramble makes it one of my favorites of his, and it’s positive message helped instantly assuage some sadness. I posted it on Facebook for whatever fucking reason, and went to work, unable to think about much else the rest of the day, into today, and I don’t know, maybe from now on.

It feels awkward to make a celebrity death personal with some tossed-out Facebook post. But I am at that point now in my life where the passing of such monumental artistic figures starts to occur closer to you, more frequently, and it’s inevitable that it spurs you to seek comfort from just telling others why this death is monumental. I mean, in my early 20s, if I had heard the bassist in the Johnny Burnette Trio died, oh, that’s sad. But had that bassist been close to my age, had I seen that bassist play live, got to hang out with him a bit, cranked his records through headphones throughout my teens, well...

It was early summer, 1985, I was 17, about butt-deep into a growing pile of records, increasingly punk records, and my au currant desire was to “get into hardcore.” I mean it was all over college radio, Cleveland had a decent scene of it (although in that odd Ohio-y, weather-beaten way), and I just thought, well, that’s what a guy like me should be doing right now. So I went to my local rack jobber and asked him for a great new hardcore album, and he hands me New Day Rising.

I took it home and played it, but I was a bit nonplussed. This wasn’t the bald-head dude screaming in a circle pit shit I thought I was searching for. It was loud and fast for sure, but not the polka-beat, the government and your parents suck spiel. Instead, as I noticed while I self-surprisingly kept playing the record over and over for the next week, was an instantly recognizable melancholy, damp atmosphere, and intense energy I’d already loved from midwest acts. Husker Du just felt like me and lots of strangers I was starting to get to know at Cleveland punk shows -- already a bit beaten by long winters, mall jobs, and terrible sports teams we didn’t care about, but you live in Cleveland, so you’re going to hear about the fucking Browns whether you like it or not. My image was the three Huskers sitting in their dank basement, from about the first week of October until the first week of March, with a space heater sparking in the corner, complaining about fucking jocks, drinking the cheapest local beer, excited only about the tunes they were coming up with, grasping for hopes maybe winter will end early this year (the last week of February), but knowing for sure it’s just gonna come around again anyway, so whatever, let’s go through that new one again.

I already knew enough about the California-based SST Records to know a shlubby band from Minneapolis with cutoff shorts and an almost sobbing seriousness to their loud fast rules, featuring lyrics about folklore and summer ending, was not that label’s raison d’etre. No doubt most of their bands had shitty lives, crappy parents, drug problems, and whatever. But to me, nothing I’d heard on that label (save some Black Flag), had this depth of pathos and seething spirit. I mean come on, it’s California. You don’t spend your teens hanging out on beaches and seeing pretty girls all the time all year and think, “Damn, remember those good times we had? Fuck! Where’s my copy of Being and Nothingness?!” (Well, maybe the Minutemen did.)

Indeed, from what I understood through the grape, er, hops-vine of the time, many diehard SST fans didn’t dig Husker Du. (Someone did, because I think Husker Du was the best selling act on SST, but you record scholars can correct me on that.) To me they were a sudden, jarring connection between the jangle of ‘60s folk and garage rock -- meaning they were contemporaries more with R.E.M. than Saccharine Trust or what have you -- and a huge leap into some fuzzed-out new world of extreme emotional and sonic confessional. Even moreso than the, truth be told, kind of cute Replacements, Husker Du were the gnarled heart pumping to where punk could grasp towards, to survive not just the winters but encroaching adulthood abyss. Even their name, from an old board game (fun!) that translated to “Do You Remember?” (sad), was reflective. They were 20-year olds and already nostalgic, wistful. But their own apocalyptic Reagan-era shakes were vibrating them out of that basement. They toured like fucking crazy, rust belt work ethic and all; and with hooks that finally put a relevant nail in skinny tie power pop’s coffin.

New Day Rising has mostly remained my favorite Husker Du album since, the opening title tune being my favorite opener on any album (save maybe “I’m Stranded” by the Saints). But their whole catalog is worth churning through. And it wasn’t just Grant Hart’s massively manic drum pounds that hit you hard, but his and Bob Mould’s strained, splitting-at-the-edges voices. Like their Minneapolis contemporaries (Replacements, Soul Asylum, Magnolias), they sounded like they were incredibly pissed off and ready to fight, to the point of tears. Not to belabor the midwest/California dichotomy, but the Offspring never struck me as tearful guys.

Of course soon enough I gathered, via unexplainable gut impressions and gossipy fanzine articles, that there were gay men in Husker Du. And there’s no doubt that the usual animosity towards jocks for this punk band left larger scars.

The scar I personally got from their records was a band. When I first met New Bomb Turks’s guitarist Jim Weber at our college dorm, one of the earliest conversations centered on how Jim couldn’t get to the Warehouse tour stop in Cleveland, and hence never got to see Husker Du. I’d seen them twice, regaled Jim with some details, and made tapes of the Husker Du albums he didn’t have. You can ask him, but I think Bob Mould was his biggest early guitar inspiration. And further discussions involved the gender identity of the band, though being early-20s guys in the late ‘80s, we probably didn’t talk about “gender identity” as much as how/when we were called the ol’ “f”word in high school, and how the Huskers must have dealt with tons of awful shit from the more unseemly sides of the hardcore scene.

Husker Du was a favorite band, but also our introduction to really thinking about these issues that were still pretty swept under the turkey at the family Thanksgiving meal back then. We were both raised Catholic, so...

So, Grant Hart. After the Warehouse show at the Phantasy Theater in Cleveland in summer 1987 (they would break up soon after the end of that tour), I made my way to the adjacent upstairs bar, whose backroom was being used as a backstage. I saw Grant and said, “Great show!” He looked at me a little cockeyed, then turned around, asking, “Does anyone have any heroin around here?” So, that was that.

I loved his 2541 EP from 1988, the first post-Husker Du release. By then I was best friends with the first friend to ever come out to me; and that happening right around the release of that EP, well, one should always appreciate life’s teachable serendipity.

Then, the first time I ever went to New York City and first time I went to CBGB in 1989 with said out pal, the first band I saw there was Hart’s Nova Mob. (Well, technically Run Westy Run opened up.) They were pretty good, and I was glad to see Hart still going at it, but it seemed soon enough that he wasn’t. Didn’t hear much except sporadic solo stuff after Nova Mob split up, and given the usual rumors, figured he was done. But then my band was pretty busy those years, and I was soaking up tons of new bands, so who knows.

Then, in mid-summer 1999, I get a request from an editor at the Cleveland Free Times to write a preview for Grant Hart’s solo show in Cleveland, and found out he’d be playing Columbus a couple days before. So we hooked up a meeting, which is a whole other story for another post, or if I had the power, a movie. It was a strange couple of days, involving breaking into the trunk of the early ‘80s Cadillac he was touring in (”Got it from Rent-a-Wreck, seriously”), the club, Bernie’s, not paying him what they promised, Hart rightly taking a monitor as payment (probably not worth the $250 he was guaranteed), and me getting a call from him at 3 a.m. asking to be a character witness in court on Monday. Nice dinner with him in there too.

After relative (college) radio silence for a few years, I didn’t know what to expect of the show, and without going into details, let’s just say this seemed like a “rent tour.” Hart was fairly disheveled, but super nice. He’d recently become close with Patti Smith, and I guess she told him her parents last names were Grant and Hart, and that once she heard of him, she took that as a sign from the stars to work with him. Anyway, standing in Berne’s with like 10 other people watching him, I was utterly floored once again. His voice was just teeming with the weight of all those slushy winters. I just kept thinking, this is unbelievable how intense he is, and how good these songs are, and how no one even in my circle of music heps even knew this show was happening, in the middle of summer no less, when campus is pretty dead anyway. Unfortunately, a horrible flu had also floored me, a 102 temperature, and I could only stay about four songs of his set before heading home to sweat in bed. “Ah, I’ll see him again.” That was the last time I saw him play.

R.I.P. Grant Hart.

#grant hart #husker du #newbombturks #granthart

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shintorikhazumi · 7 years

Text

A Warm Diana Chapter Two: Check the Temperature

(A/N: Diana and Akko try to figure out where they stand in a relationship…. Or what kind of relationship guro… And I had always wished to see Akko with hair down.. then the Diana arc with Akko in a dress happened… and her hair! My wish came true… for a couple seconds at least. Enjoy?

~Shintori Khazumi)

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

Call it brainwashing, but Akko could figure out no other method on how to deal with all her disappointment building these past few days.

She told herself that it was not in a particular Heiress’ best interest to steer clear of her every time they walked the same hallway, she just remembered something and had to go run to retrieve it.

Diana didn’t keep their gazes every time their eyes would meet because she needed to blink away the dust that had settled on her lash suddenly. (For more than fifty times this past week.)

Even the lessening, nearly non-existent tutor sessions, or tip-off talks they had every once-in-a-blue-moon, Akko chalked it all up to just having a larger, more important workload to finish.

Akko tried to convince herself that Diana was just embarrassed about what had happened. It wasn’t as if she was trying to avoid Akko, she was probably incredibly busy, just as she always was. Yes, that was it, exactly it.

-Or at least that was what the brunette told herself.

After their little incident on the beach, followed by their dual colds subsequently, Akko had been hoping that that would have given them the push they needed to get even closer.

She guessed she was wrong.

Diana had avoided her even more after that; talking to her even less, and even refusing to look her in the eye- and this was during class and duties now! They were assigned together for one assignment, and Diana almost did everything herself, if only for the sake of not having to spend time with the girl.

It frustrated her. Irritated her. But most of all, she merely wanted to cry.

In a mere blink of an eye, her whole world plunged into one state-

Cold.

She simply couldn’t comprehend why things had suddenly become like this. Why was Diana suddenly pulling so far away?

Had she done something that warranted dislike? Maybe she had, since she always did. Had she said something horrible to Diana? Again? She couldn’t possibly count on her hands the times she had spoken ill of/to the other girl. Why did she do it? She never knew.

And in all her frustrated glory, she did a silent scream, roughing up her hair as she scratched wildly, thinking fruitlessly.

Now, on a Friday, alone in the library, only the two of them, though tables apart, with rows of shelves adding to their separation, Akko wracked her brain for a way, any way to approach her target who was silently reading an advanced magic book, lips tipped the slightest bit up.

“Ugh… and she looks so beautiful in that lighting.” Akko admired from the distance as the late afternoon glow penetrated through the windows of the old building, idle sounds of chatter from passing students retiring for the day going past her head. She gazed in awe for a few moments more, before frowning as she remembered why she was even in the same space as the blonde prodigy. “What the hell did I do this time, I wonder?”

This question was brought on by the wisdom from past experience. For some reason, or other, Kagari Atsuko always found herself smack dab in the middle of trouble, it being caused by herself, more often than not. And of course, more often than not, she’d never realize this until it was pointed out to her, usually, the job being reserved for Sucy, using it as an opportunity to make fun of her.

And of course, it usually ended in some scolding or disappointment on the part of all teachers, Ursula included, and of course, Diana.

“Hmm… How does one even begin to approach the Great Diana Cavendish?” She rubbed her chin thoughtfully, truly pondering on all her plans on how to make up (Why would she even need to do such?) with the heiress.

As if some genius idea had wormed its way into the deep crevices of her mind, she felt a spur of determination to carry out such thoughts. Standing up, she prepared herself to face the blonde beauty-

… Only to be stopped by a rather rude grab to the shoulder.

“My, my, my… If it isn’t Akko.”

Without the aid of ice magic, the brunette had found herself frozen by the words of the adver- her acquaintances… She hoped.

“Hannah, Barbara. Wh-what’s up?” Akko quivered.

She thought things were, if not good, at the very least on ceasefire between them. The girls may have hated her, but she certainly did not return the sentiment. Sure, she didn’t like them, but she wouldn’t go so far as to say she utterly despised the resident bullies.

“What’s up, yourself? What’s with the sneaky act?” The brunette of the duo leered closely at the poor soul, blameless- as of the moment, and without any bad intentions other than possibly disturbing Diana with her own feelings.

Feelings? What feelings?

“N-nothing, just… looking at some books…” The girl replied, refusing to meet the duo’s gaze.

“From around a corner?” Barbara asked her, skeptical. “If I didn’t know better, you were actually looking at something else.” She scoffed, trying to retrace the troublemaker’s line of sight. “Something… Someone like… Oh look! It’s Diana… Diana?!”

She gave Akko a look the girl couldn’t read.

“You were watching Diana?”

The two remaining members of the blue team shared a look.

They had noticed something… strange brewing between the two students, the top and honestly, rock-bottom pupils, though the latter had been showing some promising signs of improvement. And after the whole ‘Bringing Diana back’ incident, they didn’t think as lowly as they did of Akko. In fact, in their books, they were treating her a bit more nicely, save for the habit of sharp comments.

Yeah… they were working on that, hence the way they had started this whole interaction.

“N-no! Well, Yes… Maybe?” The girl scratched her cheek, still avoiding eye-contact. “Is that a bad thing?” Her voice had this edge of… anxiousness? A search for approval?

“Well, if you consider the law, it’s basically stalking, right?” Barbara commented innocently, unknowingly.

It was unintentional, but it certainly shot down Akko’s hopes. Now she probably felt wretched to some degree, the statement really hitting some nerve.

The one who said such words probably realized, apologizing.

“It’s bad if you think it is.” Hannah spoke, thoughtfully, at least trying to help the dejected witch in front of her in some way. “I mean, if you’re watching her with bad intentions, then of course. It’s horrible.” She was a bit wary, hinting some warnings at the brunette who raised her hands in defense, showing she had gotten them. “Otherwise, If it’s something like admiring-“

Atsuko blushed at the term, but dare not deny it.

“-It’s fine.” Hannah smiled. Akko did too, before it was wiped off her face by the next statement. “I mean, a lot of students do it too. Diana is pretty popular. She’s smart and really beautiful.”

And maybe Akko felt that little green monster possess her, if only for a second.

Thoughts of other students looking at Diana that way, or even simply thinking thoughts of her that way, never failed to make the girl’s brows furrow deeply enough for a valley to form between her eyes.

An expression which did not go by unnoticed by the blue pair’s keen eyes; It was a look they were getting quite familiar with as it was beginning to become a bit too common, after all, it was Diana, herself who wore the face more oft than not these days.

It didn’t help either, that the reason behind the said expression was the girl who wore the same one for the exact same reasons.

The exact same reasons? What reason would it be then?

“Akko…” Her fellow brunette murmured. “Could it be…?” Their gazes met, one filled with nerves, the other inquisitiveness.

“C-could it be… what?”

“You failed a test again so you’re wondering why Diana hasn’t tutored you and need it right now, but have too much pride to bother her!” The girl pointed, though both knew that the statement was just an excuse as neither wanted to actually acknowledge the fearsome thought that had crossed their minds.

“…”

“Yeah! Yeah, that’s absolutely, probably, it!” Akko sighed in relief. “That’s right. I just really need help and was beginning to wonder why we haven’t had those lately. Nothing more. It’s not as if I want to just spend time, or waste it for that matter with things like walks in the courtyard or talks by the stairs.” The owner of the shiny rod told herself, just as always. “Learning! That’s it, learning.”

“But then, don’t you have Professor Ursula for that?”

Again, Barbara with her innocently crushing comments.

Even Hannah gave her a shocked look that simply read ‘TACT’.

“Wh-what?” She asked. “Did I say something wrong?”

Hannah could only shake her head at her friend’s brutal honesty. “No, nothing.”

“Th-that’s right! I do!” Akko now stood straighter, wanting to escape this situation now more than ever. “So… I’ll just go… and y’know, head on over?” She pointed out the door. “To Ursula I mean! Not over to Diana’s table or anything!” She said, scurrying off, throwing out a hasty ‘see you later’ to the perplexed duo.

“Doubt Diana would mind, though.” Hannah sighed, arms crossed, catching the aforementioned blonde throwing a glance Akko’s way as she ran off.

Her teammates watched her sigh, seemingly with regret, and could only shake their heads.

Even if those two had somewhat mutual feelings, if they couldn’t even discern what those emotions were, no step forward would be made in whatever relationship they wanted from the other, be it friendship or… more.

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

Diana sighed, closing her book after about an hour more of reading complicated spells that she’d gone over more times than she had fingers. It was probably around dinner time, but a meal was the last thing on her mind as of the moment.

She’d never admit it to anyone, but she had been conscious of Kagari Atsuko’s presence right from the very start of her ‘viewing session’ and quite appreciated the undivided attention she was getting, save for the negative feelings that showed on her open-book of a face.

Maybe it was wrong to avoid Akko and delve deep into duties to allow anything but the other girl to dominate the run of her thoughts. It wasn’t as if she wanted to do such, but her mentality, moreso her heart might give out for reasons she could not even begin to put a finger on.

She could not think straight as of late, no matter how much she wished to. Her mind would run straight back to the girl who was such a dork, who’d get hurt, but get back up. Who was not all that knowledgeable in the ways of witches, but was well-versed in things fantasy and magical in the normal human’s eyes.

There was no focus for Diana, and the sad puppy looks, and longing gazes sent her way the whole week through certainly did not help her in this situation.

In fact, she wasn’t really concentrated on her book earlier, as she found herself more than ready to protect Akko if anything went amiss the moment her best friends appeared. She was glad nothing bad went between them. It looked like casual chatter from what she could observe.

Only when Akko ran out did her curiosity skyrocket, but she had to abstain from giving Akko any form of attention or concern till she sorted out her… feelings, thoughts rather.

The blonde coughed into her fist, trying to regain her composure, which did nothing to cool down the red in her porcelain cheeks.

“Diana? Are you alright?”

The girl looked up, half expecting to see her teammates and tell them they need not worry, only that those words died in her throat seeing as they weren’t her teammates, but her teammates. Kagari Atsuko’s.

“Umm… Diana?”

“What did you do Lotte? Maybe you summoned her spirit out of her body? That would be really interesting though.”

“Sucy!” Lotte berated as the poison-maker shrugged, uninterested.

“I’m sorry for her. She’s just really… playful.” She threw a glare at the almost laughing Sucy, who immediately quieted down.

“No… No. It’s no problem.” Diana replied, shaking her head to clear out her thoughts rather than show what her words meant.

“I sure hope it’s not.”

“SUCY!” The girl cried. “But really, are you okay Diana?” She returned to her concerned state from earlier.

“Huh? Why would I not be?” She was confused at the unneeded worry.

“You look a little red in the face, also you were coughing just now, weren’t you?” Lotte reached out to put a hand on the top student’s forehead to check her temperature. “Did it go down? But anyway, you should rest Diana.”

“Yes, yes of course. Thank you, Miss Yanson.” She turned on her heel to proceed to her room.

“No need to thank me.” The girl said, and that statement just seemed to tickle Diana’s brain. As if it reminded her of another person. One who would have the same reaction. “Akko would have done it too if she saw you like that.”

Ah. And there it was. Oh how their thoughts coincided.

“More like she’d freak out and worry too much. It’s Diana after all.” Sucy’s snickers were drowned out by the raging thumps of Diana’s heart.

“What do you mean…” However, the Cavendish abruptly dismissed such questions, as she still wanted to express her gratitude, just as how she was raised. “Regardless, I am most grateful, Miss Yanson, Miss Manbavaran.” She tipped her head down a bit. “Have a good night.”

“It’s Lotte… And Sucy.”

Again, stopped in her tracks, Diana faced them, nodding.

“Of course. Good night, Lotte, Sucy.”

“Good night, Diana.”

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

“Diana…”

“Akko…”

Just what is this feeling…

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

She woke up in the warmth of her sheets, all wrapped up to the neck, albeit still in most of her uniform.

Diana assumed she must have gone straight to her room and lay down, falling asleep, the ones behind how she was tucked in were of course, her roommates. ‘Assumed’ because her thoughts were far too occupied by someone else that she had most likely been operating on autopilot.

A low grumble, one usually not associated with Diana Cavendish, came from her stomach, now begging to have something in it, if only to fight the pangs of hunger as a result of skipping last night’s dinner after a busy day.

She was weighing her options, maybe go to the cafeteria and grab some breakfast, or stay here in her room and see if she had any form of food kept- most of those treats gifts from irrelevant admirers.

She decided a well-cooked and nutritionally balanced meal was far better in terms of health and usefulness with her duties, despite having none during the weekend. Wait- that’s right…

It was the weekend.

The Cafeteria would most likely be closed after seven-thirty. But that was fine, Diana usually got up early. It was only- eight… in the morning. The blonde rubbed the sleep from her eyes, wanting to take away the clouds that must have been deceiving her. There was no way that she of all people had slept in.

She noticed a piece of paper on her desk, conveniently placed beside her clock. She picked it up before slapping her forehead in exasperation.

‘Dear Diana,

Although it surprises us greatly, I guess even you would be tired, sleeping so late, thinking. We hope you don’t mind us tucking you in. You kept muttering “It’s cold”, for some reason so we presumed…’

“It’s alright, thank you.” Diana spoke to the letter, a small smile resting on her lips.

‘Anyway, we expected you to get up late, so we just wanted to leave you a note so that you wouldn’t worry about our whereabouts.

Barbara needs to buy a few materials for class, a few meaning a lot-‘

The witch couldn’t help but giggle.

‘and I volunteered to help carry them.’

Diana noticed a change in the handwriting, quickly understanding that Barbara had taken hold of the pen.

‘Hannah just wants to buy more ingredients to cook with. She's secretly had Akko teach her, can you believe that?’

This paragraph of the note obviously caught the genius off guard. Not because Hannah was going to be cooking, but because the person she was cooking with was most unexpected

‘Anyway, that’s all from us. Take care for the day, Diana. We left you a few sandwiches and an apple on our table. It probably won’t be enough, so make sure to go out for a proper meal afterwards, kay?’

‘Your best friends, Hannah and Barbara.’

Diana folded the paper, pocketing it with a sigh. She valued their friendship and certainly appreciated how they looked out for her, even though she would brush them off at times. She really was thankful for friends like them.

Rounding her bookshelf that set apart her part of the room from theirs, the blonde instantly spotted her food and decided to have it after a morning shower to at least feel fresher than she did at the moment.

Even if she was a model student, Diana had her own share of clothes, apart from her school-designated robes and party dresses.

She donned a light blue button up shirt, with long sleeves, folded to three-fourths, light brown cropped pants, and her favorite leather brown shoes, pulling her bangs up and out of her face, held by pins.

She then went to grab a medium-sized leather shoulder bag, packing along with her a hair tie to later pull back her hair, a jacket if she felt cold, and what she would consider her breakfast, courtesy of Hannah and Barbara, along with a water bottle.

She promptly took a packet of biscuits from some secret stash of gifts and snacked on them on her way out of the room towards the faculty office to ask permission to go out.

With the ‘Okay’ she got from the headmistress, she, instead of riding her larger broom, used the smaller ones that came with her wand as she would not be travelling for quite long through the leylines. Just enough of a distance to get to a particular spot she favored before changing her mode of transportation.

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

“Thank you for your patronage.” The man bowed handing over the reins to a pristine, well-groomed white horse. The welsh pony nuzzled his blonde rider, the girl responding by stroking his neck. “Here’s the usual one you ride. He’s been excited to see you again.”

“Thank you, Schneider.” Diana smiled to the man, who only waved a hand in dismissal.

“It’s no trouble at all. You are one of our regulars and have helped us out so much, Miss Cavendish. If anything, we should be thanking you.” He continued. “So many customers have been coming around ever since rumor spread of a beautiful young lady on a white horse. It was quite the sight, some said. Hahaha… Why not become our poster girl, Diana?” The man jested.

The horse-lover felt a light warmth dust her cheeks, as she couldn’t meet her old friend’s gaze.

“Please don’t joke about such things.” She murmured. “You know I very much cannot stand such public exposure. And this is my form of peace and quiet, my getaway.” She looked at her gloved hands, then to the stallion beside her.

“I know, of course.” The man gave her his gentlest smile, before patting her on the head a bit. “Enjoy.”

“I will!” She said as she mounted her steed. “I’ll be back with him by sunset.”

“Take all the time you need. Oh!” Diana turned to face him. “Be careful.”

The girl was happy, for everything, the usual gentle reminder, she took to heart each time she rode.

“Especially this time.” He told her seriously, and she wondered for a brief moment why. “There are some pretty wild riders out there. And I can’t believe that Kid would choose a pretty wild horse to boot.”

“What do you mean, Schneider?” Diana felt her blood boil a bit at such reckless riders. Who knew, they could not only hurt another rider, but the horses as well. Maybe if she met them along the way, she’d give them a big talking to.

“Some girl just came over her, just as we opened, which is pretty damn early since you know we open just a little after six.” Diana nodded, prompting the man to go on with his story. “She just said she wanted an escape and took the wild one, Jessica out for a spin. That young Jessie might toss her off, I warned, but she said she believed that this horse was for her.”

The man lifted his hat, running a hand through his graying hair. Diana’s mind jumped into thought. Why was she so concerned about such strangers?

“I’ll admit, they make quite the fine pair. That little Takhi and that girl look the part of partners. They suit one another, all wild and passionate looking.” He placed his hands in his pockets. “It’s been so long since Jessica allowed anyone on her back, yet this girl rode her with ease. Unbelievable, right?”

Diana nodded.

“Well, take care, little miss. See you later.” He went to attend to other matters in his business.

“Wait! Schneider, if I may…where were they headed?”

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

“Yes! Nature! Wind! Tree shade! Fruit Juice! Ham sandwiches! AAANNNNNDDDD… UMEBOSHI! My beloved pickled plums!” A certain brunette screamed out to no one in particular, enjoying her alone time, Saturday morning.

Maybe it was the lakefront view, hidden by all the trees, but surrounded by an array of beautiful sweet-smelling wildflowers, but Akko felt happy. A lot happier than she had been this whole week.

The sky was a beautiful shade of blue, not clear, but the clouds and the gentle touch of the breeze made it feel refreshingly cool in this fair weather.

After reveling in the absolute beauty of nature, the brunette deemed it worthy to take her much needed breather, not only physically but for her mind especially.

“Hey, there girl.” She greeted her partner for the day. “Thanks for being my company.” She held out her hand, the horse nuzzling against it. “You were such a tomboy to all those other guys, ey? That mister told me.” She sighed, encircling her arms around the mare, hugging it. “Yet you’re so gentle with me. Guess we empathize pretty well.”

She laughed as the horse neighed, happy vibes all round them.

“That’s right… like some special spell connection… Soul RESONANCE!” Akko held her hand out, as if throwing a beam in the direction of her new friend. “Wow… that was so lame.” She snickered mirthlessly at herself with a blush spreading across her cheeks, falling on her back under the shade of the tree.

She had a blanket in the pack she had brought with her, some food as well, but now she just didn’t feel like moving a whole lot.

The tranquility of the area was beckoning her so temptingly, she consented to being lulled to sleep by the song of the forest.

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

If someone were to claim that they had the best dream ever, Akko would no doubt beg to differ. There was none that could top hers, and this was not an opinion. To her, it was an unbiased fact.

Imagine yourself in a clear field on a fair day, lying on the grass softer than comforters, and surrounded by flowers with scents fresher and more natural than any air freshener. Peacefully, in a state of bliss, having just eaten, and played to her heart’s content and now simply resting. Resting.

The best part of this paradise was that the breeze was not the only one caressing her face and going through her strands of hair. Nature’s tune was not the only one playing, soothing her senses in a comforting tickle in her ears.

Ah, the bliss of the companionship of another person. The feel of their soft skin against yours. The way your eyes met as loving smiles rested on both your faces. Simply the way they held your hand and were just… there. For you.

Their warmth.

Her warmth.

Dia-

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

“Woah!” Akko woke up with a start. Her heart was thumping wildly. Her whole face, all the way to the tips of her ears and down her neck burned an unbearable heat. The wind did nothing to cool down the fire within her as she remembered the vividness, the too realistic feel of everything, the gazes, the touches, the smiles…

The warmth.

“And I thought I swore not to think about her.” Akko shielded her eyes from the afternoon sun that had now seemed to pass from the peak of the morning sky. Possibly the time would be around two in the afternoon. “Why are you doing this to me… Diana.”

“Well, I apologize for it if this is the reason behind your… less eccentric behavior.”

Akko literally jumped at the voice. So high, only now noticing that she had a blanket draped over her shoulders and that her hair was now in a braid instead of its free state she had left it in earlier. She had not even bothered to wear her little ponytail, and now it was in a neat loose braid, pulled to the side.

“Please do not overreact. It’s almost as if you did not expect my presence.” Diana took a sip from a familiar thermos cap, this time filled with tea.

“I didn’t. Not. At. All!” Akko did her best to stress the phrase, trying to get her point across. “Who would?!”

“Is really all that unexpected?”

“YES!” Akko felt at her wits end. How could the girl look so calm?!

Unbeknownst to her, Diana’s countenance was all but a façade to hide her well-jumbled mess of an inside labeled as “feelings”.

She had an inkling of a feeling that is was, indeed, Akko who took the wild horse for a ride, but having those ideas confirmed, and finding the girl in an… endearing way, in such a beautiful setting, no painting Diana had seen could compare.

The way she softly breathed, not snoring at all, her hair pooling around her head, light striking her at the most perfect angle, making her seem as if she were glowing, everything was just so breathtaking.

Especially her hair.

Yes, the hair.

Diana had always hoped to see Akko the way she was in the mansion, all her hair down, gently flowing along the contour of her back.

Yet, she also could not keep her hands to herself for long, as she had draped her own blanket, packed in a saddle bag, over Akko, now carefully brushing the hair from her eyes, hands going down her face gently as to not rouse her.

And it ended in a braid somewhat.

She had enough shame to dismiss thoughts of things such as lap pillows, at least.

“Diana? Hey!” Akko waved a hand in front of her face, trying to snap her out of her stupor. The girl worried as she no longer responded in their conversation a while ago, and just found her in a daze. “You okay?”

“Eh? Ah… mm.”

“Really?” Akko eyed her suspiciously.

“Yes, Akko. I’m alright.”

“Ok, but if you start feeling bad, tell me, okay? Okay? Don’t make me worry.” She whispered the last part to herself, Diana’s ears barely catching it. “Anyway, I was asking if you had eaten or anything?”

At the question, the blonde heiress’ stomach growled, and the answer was made clear.

“Geez, care for yourself a bit more, please?” Akko crossed her arms, picking Diana’s blanket from the ground, and leading her back to her spot under the tree, (She had somehow managed to roll away a few meters-then again, Akko was always an... "active" sleeper) laying her picnic blanket out, a Tupperware with salad, and some ham and egg sandwiches displayed.

Diana stared at Akko’s outstretched hand that wanted to pull her up when she realized the girl had yet to move after her.

“Come on.” She rolled her eyes, tugging the girl lightly, and with a surprising amount of strength that she stumbled forward, being caught in a pseudo embrace. “M-my bad.” The brunette immediately quickly released her companion and went to sit in the spot.

“Okay.” Diana replied, delayed, as she realized she hadn’t really packed a lunch. Now she just felt ashamed. She wanted to tell Akko, but maybe the girl was a mind reader.

“I’m betting you were so busy, you didn’t have time to pack any lunch, right? It’s not much, but… care to join me?” The Cavendish girl could not say no. “If I knew you’d hang out with me like this, I would’ve whipped up something a bit more… to your taste?”

She knew she could cook, but her modest lunch didn’t quite look right, sitting next to such a prestigious lady. It made her a little insecure, and Diana did not want to see her that way.

“It’s more than enough for me.” She smiled at the girl with all the reassurance she could muster, sitting- not across from her, but right next to her, almost at the proximity they shared on a night they could not forget. “And a little birdy flew by today to tell me a secret, that one Miss Kagari was quite the cook.” And maybe she threw in some confidence-boosters, if only to enjoy the blush she elicited from her… friend.

“Wh-who told you something like that? Ugh… now I’m set up for a disaster of a disappointment.” She covered her face. “Not only in magic, but cooking too?!”

Diana looked at her perplexed. Where was her usual unabashed pride? Or was that all a front to cover these… weaknesses she now showcased to the prodigy.

“You are the farthest thing from a failure.” Diana spoke seriously, with conviction, voice not wavering as she grabbed Akko’s hand with one of hers, and reached out to take a sandwich. “And I’ll show you!”

Biting the sandwich, her eyes nearly rolled to the back as she couldn’t help a satisfied moan from slipping out. Yes, it was her intention to assure the girl, and if Hannah herself, said that the girl could cook, then no doubt it was the truth.

She had prepared her taste buds for the best, and the worst, but this… it certainly defied her expectations.

If the sandwich Hannah had prepared for her was pleasing, this was heavenly!

“Is it really that good?” Akko asked, uncertain after receiving no comment.

“Yessssss… It’s wonderful.” Diana hummed in approval, taking another bite, hand going to her cheek as she closed her eyes in pure bliss.

“Thank goodness.”

“You were that concerned?” Diana quirked a brow, as the other had taken her own share of food. “I mean, you should have more confidence in something that tastes this divine!”

“Thanks… I’m no good at food magic, or I guess magic in general, but… I’m confident in the cooking my mom loves so much.”

And the blonde couldn’t help but stare at that faraway look in her counterpart’s eyes, as she only held the bread in hand, quiet.

“Do you… perhaps… miss your mother?” The melancholy wafting off Akko made her heart twinge, she could feel the longing, as she missed her own mother as well, though she could not see her as Akko could.

“Yeah… I’ve missed her for five years now.”

Or maybe they were alike in that respect.

“I guess that was what made my heart hurt so much when I found out about your family.” Akko gave her a sorrowful smile.

“We’re just two kids who need the warmth of their moms, huh?” She contemplated, but shook her head, biting into the sandwich. “Ooh.. this is good. I’m proud of myself Hahaha.”

Diana knew she was trying to change the subject.

“The food is nice, so let’s… forget about the sad stuff.” Akko said quietly for the last time. “Now, let’s enjoy! It’s such a waste with this amazing place that is perfect for private enjoyment. How bout we play in the water a bit after lunch? Oh but we can feed the horses too, I brought some treats they’d like. Right girl?” Akko winked at her horse that whinnied, as it nudged Diana’s stallion that also responded.

“Hahaha… They get along so well.” Diana giggled, enjoying the ambiance.

“Like us?”

The comment certainly caught her off guard. She now was caught in a staring contest with the brunette mischief-maker, gaze intense, hiding those bits of anxiousness again. Diana took her hand again, now ready to put that smile back on her face.

“Yes, like us.”

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

The two frolicked the rest of their afternoon away, splashing around, running even more, playing with their animal pals, and just enjoying the other’s company.

Burnt out, and the sun sinking low, they packed up and decided to go home.

Diana now donned the jacket she had brought along, the evening temperature lowering. Akko just kept her blanket on, draped around her smaller frame as she hummed a tune.

Diana savored the music, appreciating each note- Akko’s voice was well-developed and strong.

It stopped.

“Akko?” She was worried, and confused now.

“Hey Diana?” The strong voice was no more, it was now nearly a whisper.

“Yes?” She replied as kindly as she could.

“When we get back… will you… avoid me again?”

Her heart clenched. The young Cavendish wanted to now spew a thousand apologies and more for what she was doing, but… she knew what giving Akko attention meant. Her focus would be done for.

But still…

“I will not.”

“Then why?” Akko asked, the horses now stopping side by side. “Why did you start?” It was so weak, so sad, and hurt. So cold, contrasting the intensity of her burning gaze.

Diana had only one answer, well a question rather. The only response crossing her mind.

“I need to know… what are we?”

Akko felt her breath stop, heart in her throat.

“I have these… thoughts and… feelings, so I can’t concentrate any more. What is this Akko? What have we been doing lately? Why do I want to spend my time with you?” Diana breathed out, meeting, confronting her thoughts.

“I don’t know.” Diana’s heart sunk. She didn’t know what answer she was expecting, but immediately realized this wasn’t it. “I don’t know but… what I do know is that I feel the same way.”

And as it sunk, it jumped so high, running faster than they ever could with their legs. “Y-you do?”

“Yeah.” Akko scratched her cheek, embarrassed as their rides began to move slowly again.

“Akko?”

“Hm?”

“What should we name this warmth?”

Now that was quite the unusual question. But Akko already knew her answer.

“How ‘bout we start it off with… friends?”

Diana sighed a bit, but then smiled. It was the best conclusion, and rushing into whatever this was recklessly would do neither of them any good.

“That would be acceptable.”

They shook on it, but afterwards, refusing to let go as they rode home that way, hand in hand.

And again, on a night so cold, all they could feel was…

Warmth.

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

“I’ll tell you time, and time again.

From the moment we start ‘til the end,

On any night,

with such marvelously gleaming light,

I’ll keep you as you keep me far from harm,

In arms so warm.”

“You will forever be my ‘Warm Diana’”

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

OMAKE:

“By the way, Diana. Tell Hannah to use this recipe for those treats she wanted to try. And that we can meet next Wednesday.” Akko smiled, handing over a piece of paper, she dug from her pocket on their way home.

They rented a broom at a shop since Akko had ridden with Lotte out, but had not thought of how to get back to the academy.

Now she was stuck behind Diana again, going through the magical terminal.

“I’m surprised you had something in common. Do you often spend time together?”

“Kind of? Hopefully we can also be friends!” She commented, a bit happier.

Her skin tingled as her hand was suddenly taken. On this small space of a broom.

“Please do become friends… “ Diana told her, but her voice squeaked a bit, “just… not closer than we are?” Akko could have squealed on the spot at the sheer adorableness in that look.

“Are you perhaps, jealous?” She grinned, needing to know the answer.

“N-no! How preposterous!”

“You are, aren’t you?”

“I most certainly am not!”

“Ehhhh??? Then I guess I will spend more time with Ha-“

“I’ll drop you!”

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

A/N: Quick! Tell me what you think or I’ll die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for reading! I do hope you enjoyed.

~Shintori Khazumi

#Diakko #dianakko #A Warm Diana #lwa #little witch academia #diana cavendish #atsuko kagari #fanfic

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alittleroseandhoneyblog-blog · 5 years

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Rose Notes: 32 Chapters “Cliff notes” Style

I love social media, I like meeting new people, I like getting to know them and connecting over the things we have in common so I thought it would be fun to lighten the mood a little with a blog about myself – 5 random and fairly well known facts about me, with a little twist to each - My life is pretty open I believe there are 32 amazing chapters, each has taught me something about myself that it makes this book worth reading, or for some of you – skimming! (or judging the cover) but the fact is social media is meant to be user controlled - it’s what the user wants to portray, the “life” the user wants published- the user’s narrative. I’ve said it before that some people use social media for their marketing other to grow their E-commerce portion, others use it to display their photography and personal trainers use it to sell their services and I have seen some people make a career using it – although I agree social media can open up a lot of shade however there is a benefit that not everyone is comfortable taking advantage of.

I think the obvious things people ask when they are getting to know someone are the basics- where are you from, what do you do-what’s your sign- the obvious who what where kind of thing (Canadian girl and Cancer btw, lol) I also have 1 sister, she is 3 years older and a mama of 5 amazing kids- Noah 15, Madison 14, Violet 12, Jilly 7 and Eli who is 3- my favourite color is purple and I love old school chick flicks like Dirty Dancing and the Body Guard- Whitney Houston was my idol growing up and the reason I starting singing in the first place – My grade 1 best friend Kristy and I used to choreograph routines to her music all the time and would perform in front of the class (lol) seems so lame now but she was so much fun and I can remember even at 6 years old how carefree I was!

Which leads to fact 1 –

Fact 1 with a (neat) twist- I love the stage, I grew up singing at such a young age that it almost all blurs together, but there are a few things that I was able to do that I remember clearly- I remember starting singing lessons at 7 years old with a teacher named Mrs. King- oh my god she was terrible but she got the job done – I started competing in competitions when I was about 8 with songs and routines from Disney and YES I had costumes and YES I have pictures- I even managed to inherit the nickname Mad Jasmine because I was Jasmine (A whole New World) from Aladdin and Danny had just beat me again for the 10th time, he was actually really freaking good and beat me every year until we were like 13 lol ) And if you ever tuned into Chym FM on Christmas Eve and listened to the Kids Singing Christmas carols – that was us and my first taste of being in the studio and since then have had many!

Shortly after that it was larger competitions, bigger stages, larger crowds like star search which held its main event at the London fall fair every year ending with auditioning at Canadian Idol 3 years in a row (until the Canadian version was cancelled lol) but in between all of that I was lucky enough to audition for local theater and was an extra in a movie that starred Glenn Close (which was shortly after her role in 101 Dalmatians and really cool for me to be standing 50 ft away from her.) A lot of this time I spent travelling with my mama and she even stayed over night in line with me when I auditioned for Canadian Idol lol I have loved music since Whitney Houston wanted to Dance with Somebody and true to nature still plays a huge role in my life today!

Fact 2 with an (interesting) twist- I am married, but did you know that I could have been raised as his cousin and how completely different my life would have turned out?

When I was born on June 28th there was another mom in labour at the exact time in the room beside my mom- thinking back 32 years the same precautions we have now when a baby is born were not in place and I was put in the arms of that other mother and a baby named, Rhandi was placed in my moms- after debating the identity of us children we were switched back and I assume I went home with the right family (I look an awful like my mama) but growing up I always knew the story as it was often used against me when I did something wrong or when my mother wanted to make joke about who I really belonged to, but who would of thought that in Grade 9 I would meet the girl I was almost switched with AND have her quickly become one of my best friends and although I never met him prior to when we started dating, I some how ended up dating her cousin who is now my husband, Matt – and as we always talked about in high school Rhandi and I became family, and the family I could have grown up with as my “aunts, uncles and cousins” are now my mother, father, sister and brother in laws! Lol

Fact 3 with a (sad) twist- I have a 7 year old son named Colton, he is in Grade one and seriously the funniest kid ever, he is smart and clever -I knew from the second I found out I was pregnant that I was going to have a strong willed child, independent like his mama- ready to take on the world- and he sure proved it when he came into the world 6 weeks early and absolutely perfect- the doctors told me “he knew he was in distress and he put you into early labour” and I remember them telling me how Lucky I was – but pregnancy was tough for me– I was sick ALL the time and there were so many close calls where I thought we weren’t going to make it to the end (and we didn’t) and that fear of going through it again terrified me so much so that we put off having another child until I felt able to handle being pregnant again-

After many years of being asked “when’s the second one or worse, what’s taking so long” it got harder to hide the sadness of admitting we miscarried twice and after what seemed like years of trying with no success, I was recently diagnosed with Endometrioses and told that chances are another baby just is not in the cards for me anymore –

so, I have to admit that I still have not come to terms with that and it’s absolutely heart breaking to know that that one thing a women is supposed to do is something I actually can no longer do but as people have told me I have hit the jackpot with Colton, he is such an incredible child and I am really lucky to be his mama and my sister in law is pregnant and I will get my fair share of baby snuggles in July when we visit them in PEI!

Fact 4 with a (career) twist – I went to school for Interior Design and have an obsession for everything houses and renovations. I own a 115-year-old century home that is true to all its character- mind you It has been in renovations for the last 2 years but it’s beautiful and I am obsessed with all the original wood! I thought for sure I was going to have a career in real estate, when I was 20 I had a 5 year plan to go through school to get my license but 20 year old Jenna fell in love with boy, moved to London and just kind of settled into his life –He broke my heart lol, and I ended up moving home about a year later and I got involved in the fitness industry when I met a girl named Marta, we quickly became friends and she introduced me to 6 am work outs in the park, squats and the burpee bottle- which is like fight club…We just don’t talk about the burpee bottle. Shortly after that I started working with Anytime Fitness and I have to admit I knew nothing about the fitness industry short of what Marta had taught me, but I had a passion for sales and social media and it happen to work well in my favour, I moved up quickly and had so many amazing opportunities not just in my career but in my personal life as well, The first time I ever got to travel outside of Canada was with Team Bazely, we went to Nashville for a conference, as a team we toured the city, the recording studio where Elvis recorded his albums and ate at some of the most incredible restaurants- I heard stories from Keni Thomas who survived Black Hawk Down and Elizabeth Smart who was kidnapped at 14, survived and lives to tell her story! I got to experience my first burlesque show, I leaned to line dance in a 3 story bar and Shannon made sure I got to sing in Nashville, even if it was in a dirty dive bar at 2am just before we were about to make the 11 hour drive back over the border, I also experienced my first “hangry” episode where once again, Shannon saved the day and supplied salads for the rest of our trip, but honesty I learned so much about the industry and about what being apart of a team was like - I can remember that being the week I really fell in love with the fitness industry - I also got to travel to Lake Placid, New York for another conference where I partied on the Olympic ski slopes, set 2 Guinness world records with over 2800 clubs worldwide, Represented Canada and carried the Canadian flag into the Lake Placid Olympic Center in front of thousands of people!

I experienced bobsledding first hand and met so many amazing club owners and staff members- I even got to watch keynote speaker and YouTube sensation Gary Vaynerchuk where we were first introduced to Rick, But I also had the opportunity on many occasions to meet the CO-Ceo’s of AF and pick their brains – they had a way of making fitness fun- I remember it being 12am sitting outside of my hotel room in Lake Placid with another Manager from a club in Arkansas and Chuck and Dave walked towards me, I said hello, they called out my social media handle “look it’s Canadianrose” which may not seem like much BUT with over 3000 clubs worldwide and thousands of faces in the crowd they recognized mine - I met some amazing people and in a round about way I found Zumba which as I have mentioned owns my heart, and where my next venture is going to take me – working with that team taught me so much and played a huge role in who I am too, and indirectly opened doors for where my passion lies and although it may not be interior design I am in control of marketing, social media and the complete design aspect of what’s next and I am allowed to be creative!

However, outside of working with Anytime, I have never travelled but I am dying to go somewhere warm!

Fact 5 with a (reality) twist – I am not only what you see on social media, I am a human being with feelings and someone who is really struggling right now to do what’s best for herself- which hasn’t always proven to be easy. I have started therapy, it was necessary for me to ask for help because I am having a hard time finding who I am. But what I am that is never going to go change is that naturally charming girl that I talked about months ago, my experiences that I have mentioned above have curved my path and have contributed to who I am today- I own that and I am confident in my own skin and the decisions I have made, I am bold enough to call someone on their bullshit, I have the strength to take on an already failing empire just to have my voice back and you simply cannot match what I bring to the table – and I am confident enough to eat alone-and I am confident enough to portray the real me on social media and in real life going forward and throughout whatever venture is next!

And to answer the above 2 truths and lie- I do not drive a Mercedes!

#cliffnotes

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beacon-of-chaos · 7 years

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Defenders of Aura - A Battle Century G Campaign Diary

Session 9 It's nearly time for the Chinese fleet to arrive. Each of us is preparing for the battle to come... Juyon is working on his mech when he's approached by a young lady- Fiona: If it's Sara Wong tell her to **** off. GM: It is Sara Wong. Fiona: Oh god. -who begins talking about... her life story? (Paraphrasing a lot here, it's been a while and I barely remember this) Sara: We're not too different, you and I. Your grandfather taught you, my father taught me. We both have a certain bond with technology, wouldn't you say? Juyon: Get to the point, Sara. Sara: Do you truly believe your Grandfather's spirit resides in your mech? Juyon: Well, no. It's a metaphor. I don't actually think my grandfather's heart beats within it. Sara: That's a shame. Juyon: Uh... Creepy. There was then a frankly uncomfortable conversation about death, though I'm afraid I've forgotten most of it at this point. Something about dying a hero, I think. Anyway, Sara leaves and Juyon is left incredibly puzzled. Elsewhere, Sinclair is monitoring radio frequencies when he detects a hacking attempt coming from inside the base. He attempts to get a security patrol to look into it but the communications go down as he tries. The hacker seems to be downloading videos. Sinclair: From the security cameras? GM: No, seems to be from an outside source. Sinclair: Huh. I'll attempt to lock them out of the system. GM: You don't need to, it seems they've already locked themselves out. Sinclair: My work here is done! Despite having "solved" the problem, Sinclair decides to see if he can find this hacker. There's a console in a rarely used corridor and using it is a teenage girl. She quickly apologises, saying she was bored and only trying to find some youtube videos since there wasn't any wifi, due to the base being on high alert. Sinclair responds that that's all well and good, but who is she and how is she such a good hacker? The girl responds that her name is Ajini and she is the daughter of General Gana of the Africa forces. Ajini: So you have to be nice to me. Sinclair: Debatable. She asks Sinclair why Aura is gearing up to fight the Chinese. Why not just let them take what they want so no one gets hurt? Sinclair responds that while he doesn't really have a lot of experience in human behaviour, he understand that people who make demands of you don't necessarily stop making demands if you give in. They just take and take until you have nothing left. Adacia responds that Sinclair sounds like her father. The young lady then decides that Sinclair needs to find her some entertainment. Sinclair takes her to the combat simulators for some mech practice (it's basically a video game, right?). And for once Sinclair can choose a mech with actual weapons! Spectre is working on his mech when Eric approaches him. A new battleship, the Argo, had been built and is ready for combat against the invaders. Eric is a seasoned mechanic now, having worked with Spectre on mech building for years. He lets the doctor know that he wants to join the Argo's crew as an engineer. Spectre: We've never been apart before. Eric: I know, but I think I can do more good with them. You don't really need me to help you anymore. Spectre: Promise me you'll stay safe? Eric: As long as you do the same, yes. They give each other a big hug. D'awww. Meanwhile, Ax is meeting up with his band mates. Together they decided that while their lead is out fighting on the front lines that they would help evacuating the citizens of Neovara to shelters in case the worst happens. Ax shares some works of wisdom with them. Ax: First of all, no bottling anyone! Bandmate: There are few problems that can't be solved by bottling someone. Ax: NO bottling anyone! And no setting fires either! Ori, I'm looking at you. Orion: Aw, you're no fun, Ax. Don't they sound like a fun bunch? It's all a bit of banter though and the group shares a tender moment too. Eric shows up here too, and tells Ax he looks up to him. The singer responds by giving Eric one of his limited edition band tour jackets. Finally, Fiona is in the cafeteria getting lunch when Nina Burgess approches her. Nina: Tensions are high at the moment. How are you feeling? Fiona: Fine. Nina: How do you think the battle will go? Fiona: I think we have the best plan we could come up with, considering the circumstances. Nina: ...You know I considered you for the leadership position as well. Fiona: I thought you might... Nina: You could have done well. But we needed a front man, someone charismatic. We've had so many recruits join up thanks to the work you've done. I hope you understand. Fiona: Ax is doing a good job. I'm okay being the one with the ideas. Nina: I'm glad. Back in the simulator, Sinclair is getting his metal butt handed to him by a teenager who's never piloted a mech before. I suppose that's what you get when you pilot a mech with no weapons for a living. (natural 1 vs natural 10 on a d10. Thems the breaks). Ajini is about to deal the final blow when the base alarm goes off. Battle stations! Sinclair: Oops, would you look at the time! I guess we'll call this one a draw, but good job, you nearly got me! See you later! We gather in the war room. So, what's the situation? Have the Chinese fallen for our ambush? Did they avoid it somehow? Actually the reality is the Chinese fleet has... vanished. Sinclair: Job done then! Who's for badminton? Ax: Depends. Do you play that as badly as you pilot in the simulator? Sinclair: *death glare* While we search for our foes, we discover a strange signal coming from orbit. We're not exactly sure what it is, but it seems to just be space debris. We try and get camera footage from a nearby satelite. As we do, another signal starts up nearby. And another. As the cameras move into place, we see what definitely looks like debris parts, clustered into a circle. And then another one appears, quickly at first, before slowing down and moving into place in the circle. Nina realises what's happening: The Chinese have launched their own portable warp gate into orbit, disguised as pieces of debris that we'd just ignore! Fiona: Oh, that's clever! We order the ships in orbit to fire on the warp gate, but before they can move into position three Chinese battleships warp through. We're in trouble. A message from the Chinese General is broadcast down to the surface, demanding that we surrender. No chance! Nina orders us to get up there and destroy the ships and the warp gate before the rest of the fleet arrives. How are we going to get up there in time? Being fired up out of a specialised mecha railgun. Sounds... fun? As we make our way to our mechs... GM: Ax, make an awareness roll. Ax: 6? GM: You feel a sudden stabbing pain in your side. You turn around to see Sara Wong, clutching something in her hand. Ax: S-Sara? ...Why? Sara: You want to be a hero, right? Kill the bad guys and save the world? Become powerful and die in glorious battle? Ax: ...W-what did you do!? Sara: You'll see. For now, you have a fight to win. And with that, she lightly pushes Ax with a single hand... and sends him flying into his mech. Ax: Did she just kill me? GM: No. In fact, you feel great. Better than ever. Ax: ...Huh? GM: You feel stronger, more alert, more confident. Like you could take on the world. Ax: The biofuel! She injected me! GM: You get +1 to ALL of your stats this session. Character and mech. Ax: Awesome! The rest of us don't notice anything as we are busy being launched out of a cannon into space. Sounds dangerous but we have some kind of g-force damping system in place to stop us turning into paste and scrap metal. We get our mission orders: The Cruel Odysseus and the other Auran ships will take on one ship, the Nauls will fight the other. Our job is to take out the third ship, or at least cripple it enough for a ship to get past and destroy the warp gate. We arrive within range and slow ourselves as much as possible. We have one major advantage that we didn't have when fighting the Ebon Order ship: These ships don't have mechs. We're just dealing with the ship's guns, and most of those are designed to fight other ships; they're too slow to hit us. Fiona attempts to hail the ship and offer them a chance to surrender but there's no response. How rude. Juyon, Fiona, and Sinclair begin moving towards the ship, while Spectre lays down cover fire with his laser cannon, adjusting the wavelength to ignore the enemy shields. Ax, on the other hand, begins moving directly towards the gun batteries, opening fire with his bazooka and dealing large amount of damage. The other mechs main targets are the anti-mecha turrets at the front of the ship. Juyon moves in close to attempt to cut the guns apart but is unable to pierce the armour (note: Juyon's player was suffering from a string of bad luck this session, never rolling higher than a 3 and getting four 1s in a row. He did not pray to RNGesus that day, clearly). Spectre overcharges his laser for an explosive blast and Fiona moves in after with her anti-warship sword. Sinclair attempts to hack the turrets to attack each other, but their systems are strong and he only manages to disable one. Ax, meanwhile, is getting a little cocky, hammering the gun arrays so much that he blasts a hole in the hull through them. We all notice he's acting strangely, but we don't get much communication from him. Then he does something... scary. He fires something into the ship through the hole he just made. A spare reactor core, which he then detonates. No one's even sure where he got that. We don't notice the explosion, but we do notice life signs heavily diminishing as the radiation from the core begins slowly killing the crew. There are many cries of "What the Hell, Ax!?" But he doesn't seem to be listening. He makes a willpower check and rolls low. GM: *to Ax* It all makes sense to you now. Everything is clear. This feels amazing. You are unstoppable. After a couple more rounds of combat, there's a warning from our sensors; the Chinese ship is overcharging its shields. If we don't stop it quickly the resulting energy burst will fry us. Fiona moves in to try a risky maneuver and disable the shield generator with melee attacks. Ax hefts his weapon at the shield generator... GM: Roll a willpower check. Ax: ...11? GM: It would be so easy. All you have to do is pull the trigger and blast them to pieces. But you come to your senses just long enough to see Fiona there and you lower your gun. Fiona: Phew. Ax, we need to talk. Fiona tears apart the shield generator. The overload triggers inwardly, crippling the shields and leaving the ship defenceless. Heavy weapons fire comes from the distance and disables the rest of the weapons. It's the Auran ships who have just finished dealing with the other ship. We turn our attentions to the warp gate. We take a few pot shots with our weapons and deal some damage, but it's not enough to destroy them before more ships begin pouring out. We have, however, damaged it enough to send the new ships wildly off-course and a transport ship flies directly at us! Uh oh, time to bolt! We jet away from the battleship as quickly as possible, but the shockwave from the impact sends debris flying and we take some damage. Worse still, more ships are incoming. Nina tells us we're going to have to attempt re-entry. Fiona: Is that even safe? GM: Normally yes, but if your mechs are damaged that could make things dangerous. Fiona: Well I'll be fine then! Thanks, by the way. Sinclair: *just finished repairs on her mech* No problem! Everyone else: Uh oh. We drop into the atmosphere and the GM makes us roll checks which we all pass with varying degrees of success. We land scattered on an unihabited island North West of Soko. Sinclair ends up stuck in the sand on a beach up to his neck (Well, 3/4 perfect landings isn't bad). Ax rolls another willpower check and fails. This causes him to begin burning up, some incredible energy flowing through him and he loses the ability to concentrate. He can do nothing but scream. Fiona attempts to break him out of the mech by ripping the cockpit out. GM: Another willpower check. Ax: *rolls low* GM: This really ****ing hurts! You feel everything that your mech does and it's like she's trying to tear you apart. Fiona, a burst of energy flings you away from Riggnarok. Fiona: Dammit, can't anyone do something? Juyon steps up. There's an access hatch on the side of Riggnarok. If he can just get to it... GM: Roll athletics. Juyon: ****! Another 1! GM: Oh for the love of- here, use my dice instead! Juyon: *rolls another 1* The GM rules that Juyon makes it up to the hatch, but slowly and with a few injuries from the energy field. Eventually he's able to get inside the mech and sees Ax screaming while floating in the middle of a swirling mass of energy. GM: What do you do? Juyon: I punch him in the face! GM: He falls unconscious and the vortex stops. And THAT is the end of the session! <=To Be Continued|/|\ Man that was a good one. Awesome from start to finish and with some brilliant roleplaying from everyone, but especially Ax. I feel like this is the longest journal I've written, too. Or at least the one with the most dialogue. Bonus quotes: http://www.giantitp.com/forums/shows...postcount=1278

#battle century g #campaign diary #rpg #mecha #longpost

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