#and yes you two all soft are 44 together and that is all sexy as fuck

[gonzodangerfeels]

Like old man ed with cate.

Ah man that is somehow worse.

One that matches his tone sign and color though

Like us except from different vaginas, and I never fucked her mother as far as I know.

Nah, I am pretty sure I would know if I had two personalities. I mean I might but they discuss me all the time so I am fully aware of them.

Her aunt used to stand in her parents yard smoking cigarettes though. She was the Allison in that group.

...

Man what the fuck.

🤔

Man what the fuck

🤔

No, seriously that's super bizarre.

#if you take the H and knock it iver and give it a horizon it would eventually A #man that's fucking bizarre though #ol Johnny wanted to take my garbage out for me #Like I am like ah man gramps you don't meed to do that #you knew I knew how to pronounce it....this is fascinating because of knowledge of a sense that doesn't work #yeah those multi rings looking like a bug tittied jane #I love rap and rap loves me #always odb #the first time I listened to that album after realizing the content if the lyrics #I always got a kick out of that verse #did I see sometning about someone dying today #hmm #you're so fucking annoying sometimes but I Love you #of course the coach has some moor in him mhm #note to self rung around the calculator sometime #and yes you two all soft are 44 together and that is all sexy as fuck #and to be honest I need that #I need lesbians to record and have sex with #if not for me wonen would be the best pleasure givers #also the weapon said I AM HIM #and I want to hug him and throw him for it #I'm like boy #you don't get it I grab you I get you close and throw my hips in and you're going buddy #but we'll see I half hope he beats me #He is too keen of a person not to be fucking some high quality though yanno what I mean #listen sex is always learning #and that's like one of the cool things about it #ahh so many hints #well I suppose if he brings a girl in you're gonna have to give her the once over #I have to remember you're invested in all of us

[rainyobservationluminary]

Tecna Winx 💙 Ami Mizuno (Sailor Mercury)

In School of science there's an announcement,

In Star section tecna and ami are classmates

Teacher: class we have an announcement, we have a quiz bee competition i choose two students to representative of our class, i called on tecna and ami

Ami: yes i choose in quiz bee

Tecna: so ami we partners in competition?

Ami: yeah tonight we start review together in the library?

Tecna: okey ami see you there

Then they review together in the library

Ami: what subject is review first?

Tecna: mmm! math first

Ami: alright let's start

Tecna: what is polynomials?

Ami: polynomials is an expression consisting of indeterminate coefficient

Tecna: your correct ami!

Then while ami solve the math problem, tecna stares of ami

Tecna Mind: i love her i like her shyness and she's so cute

Ami: hey tecna why you looking at me?

Tecna: mmm! nothing i looking the math problem

Ami: okey tecna we going to finish our reviewing, its already night

Tecna: okey tomorrow is weekend do you come to my dormitory?

Ami: sure!

Meanwhile in morning tecna and ami are reviewing in tecna dormitory, tecna used laptop then she change the wallpaper of the picture of ami

Tecna Mind: ami is so beautiful!

Ami: tecna what is your doing? we review together the quiz bee is on monday

Tecna: okey lets start! if we finished our reviewing let's playing chess okey

Ami: i love playing chess okey

Tecna: what is our review first?

Ami: mmm history!

Tecna: okey what is Philippine national animal?

Ami: mmm! a karabao

Tecna: ami you are correct!

Then they finish reviewing and they playing chess together

Tecna: hey ami you check the king

Ami: yes i gonna checkmate

Tecna: yes I'm win!

Ami: good chess game

Tecna: you know ami, I'm watching your all sexy TikTok dance in your Facebook, i like it

Ami: (shy) oh you watching all of my sexy TikTok dance?

Tecna: yes! you are a good dancer

In the following day its the quiz bee competition, ami and tecna win for there school

Judge: okey ami and tecna this is the final answer who is the 44 president of America?

Tecna and Ami: barack obama!

Judge: the final answer is your correct, ami and tecna you win the competition

Ami and Tecna: we did it we win

Principal: congratulations girls

Ami and Tecna: thank you ma'am

Tecna: come on ami let's celebrate in my dormitory we eat some pizza

ami: sure let's ordered pizza, come on in your dormitory

Meanwhile in Christmas eve, ami saw tecna wearing santa claus outfit, in the waiting shed and she do a prank and ami abducted her

Ami: that's tecna she wearing santa claus outfit, I'm prank and abduct her i have a sack and rope here

Tecna: who are you? what you do to me?

Then ami abduct tecna in the waiting shed, tecna sleeping in the sack and ami tied up tecna

Meantime in ami room, ami she remove the sack, tecna is waking up and she shock!

Tecna: where am i?

Ami: tecna it's a prank!, nice costume, you in my room now!

Tecna: oh ami its you?

Ami: I'm sorry to the prank!

Tecna: it's okey

Ami: why you wearing that?

Tecna: I'm attending a Christmas party in my dormitory room mates

Then ami stealing tecna Santa's hat

Ami: what an nice Santa's hat i take it

Tecna: that's my Santa's hat damn it! give me that!

Ami: This is mine now!

Then tecna it's escape and she get the rope to punish ami

Tecna: come on naughty girl i gonna tied you up and tickles you by stealing my Santa's hat, a punishment

Ami: oh no I'm sorry tecna

Then tecna she removed ami dress, even her bra and panties, tecna tied her up!

Ami: what you do to me?

Tecna: nice shy body  and pretty nerd its so sexy, you know ami i love you so much, i like shy girls like you we are both smart and short haired

Ami: what you are a lesbian?

Tecna: yes since birth, so first i gonna gently touching your sexy legs, your shy thighs and your buttcheecks Ho Ho Ho!

Ami: tecna no no stop it your hands are very tickle

Tecna: your buttcheeks are so soft i love to touching that, you naughty girl you stealing my Santa's hat!

Ami: I'm so sorry!

Then tecna start playing ami nipples

Tecna: nice nipples sexy nerd

Ami: my nipples so hard now!

Then tecna start kissing and licking ami shy face

Tecna: what an shy face your make up is so delicious

Ami: tecna I'm apologize to stealing your Santa's hat

Then tecna start massaging ami pussy, especially her clitoris and licking her neck

Tecna: hows my hands ami? I'm masssage your shy pussy in my fingers

Ami: its very tickle its feels good and pain to my body

Tecna: ami i start licking your breasts and nipples, like ice cream

Ami: stop it tecna! I'm sweating now and my pussy is wet now

Meanwhile tecna licking ami pussy

Ami: tecna your tongue is tickles to

Tecna: your pussy is so shy like you, i love it and ami i love you

tecna she get something in the santa pocket

Ami: what is that tecna?

Tecna: do you want bullet vibrator?

Ami: what is bullet vibrator?

Tecna: i show you this!

Then tecna turn on the bullet vibrator and she put it on the nipples of ami

Ami: oh no my nipples is stand up now and very hard

Tecna: i like your nipples

Then tecna start to tracing the bullet vibrator on ami pussy, while massaging her thighs

Ami: I'm start to squirting my juice is coming up

Tecna: this bullet vibrator i gave it to you as a gift okey!

Then tecna put the bullet vibrator in ami anal and ami start crying

Ami: (crying) stop it! I'm so sorry my anal is hurting

Tecna: okey! i stop it, be a good girl my darling

Ami: tecna I'm sleepy now!

Tecna: okey I'm sleeping besides you while I'm touching your buttcheeks!

Then tecna good night kiss to ami while she fall a sleep

In the morning the two genius are waking up, ami returns the Santa's hat of tecna and tecna gave the bullet vibrator to ami

Ami: I'm so sorry to stealing your Santa's hat and to abducted you last night!

Tecna: next time do not stole whats yours okey!, ami by the way this is your new sex toy a bullet vibrator this is your gift

Ami: thanks classmate friend

Tecna: okey ami shall i continued massaging you?

Ami: sure tecna i love your hands now and I'm shy but wild now!

Then the two nerds are hugging each other

Meanwhile tecna and ami they are always study group together and playing chess together and they are girlfriends forever...

#winx club #winx tecna #sailor moon #ami mizuno #sailor mercury #anime #lesbian #lgbt #cartoon

[scabopolis]

Omg congrats on 600 followers! Honestly any fake dating with Jonah x Amy would be amazing, although I love number 44 and/or 48 on your Google Docs <333

This is my first Jonah x Amy fic and I offer two caveats: 1) I’m still not sure if there is a particular vibe people who read for this pairing preferring, so...here we are, and 2) I have only made it through 4x12 of Superstore but am pretty familiar w/ what happens the rest of the series. 

Prompt: “You know we’re not actually dating, so why did you propose to me in front of my family?” / “I’m sorry, I panicked.” --- Title: the scene of the complication Fandom: Superstore Pairing: Jonah/Amy Other Characters: My crippling insecurity writing for a new fandom, sleep soft mornings, dumbs being dumb (but, like in a cute way) Additional Tags: friends to lovers (or idiots to friends to lovers??), fake dating shenanigans, alternative universe where Amy’s HS pregnancy test was negative and she and Jonah met in college Word Count: ~2,100 ---

It started with a chance meeting ten years ago, and somehow it’s brought Amy Sosa here: awake in her childhood room with Jonah Simms beside her, sleeping off upwards of half a dozen tequila shots. Maybe she shouldn’t be surprised. She knew that day they met in the lecture hall that Jonah was a person who would make her life exceedingly more complicated. 

And ten years later, here they are, practically leaving complicated behind in the rear view mirror. 

(“What are two hopes and one fear you have for your first lecture on your first day of college?” the guy sitting to her right asks. 

Amy doesn’t answer at first but this stranger just waits for her, all blinking, bright eyes and freshman eagerness. It’s barely morning. Is this her life now? 

“Hope one,” she says, holding up a finger, “that I’d sit next to someone quiet. Hope two,” she holds up another, “that no one would talk to me before I managed to find coffee.” She holds up a third finger. “And this moment right here is what I feared.” 

For some reason, her shortness delights him. His smile is open and affectionate, and he nods in appreciation. 

“Noted.” 

And Amy fully intends to never speak to this wide-eyed panda boy ever again, but then their General Psychology professor informs the class that the person they’re sitting next to will be their assignment partner for the semester. 

The next lecture her partner – his name is Jonah, she learns – brings her a cup of coffee and doesn’t speak a word until she takes a long sip. 

Complicated.)

Jonah snuffles in his sleep, his eyelids fluttering slightly. His hair is doing that thing it does when he’s hot or drunk or has run a hand through it too many times, where a single lock of hair hangs in the middle of his forehead. Amy resists the very real urge to brush it away. Because, yeah, she has those kinds of thoughts a lot and they also make things complicated. They’re friends. Maybe even best-friends, but definitely not ‘tenderly brush a lock of your hair away’ friends. 

Do those kinds of friends even exist? 

Jonah stirs again, and now that it’s clear he’s actually waking up, Amy reaches for her phone and opens Candy Crush. The last thing she needs is to get caught staring at him like some weird stalker.

“Oh, god,” he groans, his voice scratchy. He stretches out with another groan, his foot bumping against Amy’s as he does. Rather than move away, he kind of just rests it there on top of hers. And this is something she is all too familiar with. Drunk and/or hungover Jonah is yet another complication. More accurately, his propensity to cuddle indiscriminately is a very real complication. 

“I need—” Amy reaches for the glass of water on her night stand and hands it to Jonah, stopping him mid-thought. “Do you have—?” She hands him two ibuprofen. “Thank you,” he says. 

“You’re welcome.” She looks back at her phone. 

Jonah swallows the two pills and drinks the entire glass of water, and then lays back down, curling slightly into Amy’s side.  

“I made so many mistakes last night,” he says.

“I’m aware. As are your 80 Instagram followers.” 

“I liveblogged it?” 

“And tagged everything with the hashtag ‘best noche ever.’” He groans again and turns his face into Amy’s side. She sets her phone back on the nightstand. “What got into you?” 

“Your dad is intimidating.” 

“My dad?” 

“Yes. Your dad. And then he and your brother kept pouring me shots—” 

“I knew this had Eric’s fingerprints all over it.” 

“Well, it was kind of my fault, too.” 

She frowns. “What do you mean?” Jonah doesn’t answer and Amy kicks him under the covers. He looks up at her. His eyes are red-rimmed but also so sleepy and soft. Complicated. “Jonah.” 

“They kept asking me questions. About you and me. And I was so worried I’d say something wrong, I kept taking shots to avoid answering.”

“You could have found me.” 

“I know, but—” he trails off. 

“But what?”

“I want them to like me.” 

“Oh, Jonah.” She gives in and brushes the lock of hair off his forehead, and he looks up at her. “They’ve known you for 10 years. They’re never going to like you.” 

“Thanks, I feel so much better.” 

“I do have one more question.” 

“Okay.”

“You know we’re not actually dating. Right?” 

He closes his eyes and nods. “No. Yeah. I know.” 

“So why did you propose to me in front of my family?” 

“I panicked.”

“Panicked?” 

“Your dad asked what my intentions were, and there were just so many shots. 

“And that’s why you shouted ‘I intend to marry her!’?” 

Jonah flips the comforter over his head. “I just got wrapped up in it all.” His words are muffled from under the comforter.

She’s glad for the moment of respite, with Jonah unable to see her. If Amy didn’t want things to careen so off track, she probably shouldn’t have agreed to let him come to her dad’s retirement party as her fake boyfriend. 

(“I don’t see what the problem is,” Jonah says, spooning more cashew chicken onto his plate. “You don’t still have feelings for Adam, do you?” 

“No. No. God no,” she says. “Absolutely not.” 

“Alright. I’m clear on the no.” 

“It’s just the last time I saw him— Well, you know.” 

“I recall, yes.” 

And he does. Jonah knows all about Amy’s high school boyfriend. The one she liked but never quite loved. The one she broke up with when the pregnancy test came back negative. The one she slept with again the summer after their senior year of college. 

(An event that occurred in no small part because Jonah was dating Mindy and the two of them were talking about moving in together. Maybe moving to the west coast together and Amy realized there was a very real possibility she was going to be left behind. 

Jonah doesn’t know that part of the story.) 

Adam is also the guy who thought having sex in her childhood bedroom meant Amy wanted to get back together. He’s the guy bringing his very beautiful fiancée to her dad’s retirement party. Because he’s also somehow the guy who still helps her dad with home improvement projects. And Amy is just Amy – the one who doesn’t visit St. Louis enough, and is using her very expensive liberal arts degree to work as a survey researcher for Cloud9, meaning she’s basically paid to manipulate shoppers. 

And, not that it should matter, but she’s also very single. Has been for a while now. 

She mostly blames the man stealing chow mein from her plate for that. She blocks Jonah’s chopsticks with hers, and a piece of cabbage goes flying. 

“Stop that,” she says. 

“You’re not eating it.” 

“I’m too annoyed to eat.” 

“If you only ate when you weren’t annoyed you’d starve.” 

“I hate you.” 

She pushes the chow mein around her plate. God, when she thinks about it, this really is Jonah’s fault. If she could just find a way to get over this stupid, dumb, little crush that has creeped up – without her permission, mind you! – then maybe she could actually—

“I could do it,” Jonah says, interrupting her thought spiral. 

“Do what?” 

“Go with you to your dad’s retirement party. Be your fake boyfriend.” 

“You think that’s a good idea?”

“I think it’s a great idea. Besides, I am very close to getting your dad to like me.” 

“He’ll never like you.” 

“It’s not that I didn’t like the painting—” 

“—How would this even work?” she asks, cutting him off. 

“I don’t know,” he says. “I think we act like we normally do, but maybe you can hold my hand and be nice to me.” 

“Eww.” 

Jonah smiles around a large bite of cashew chicken. She really needs to stop hanging out with him so much – he’s become immune to her insults. It’s rude. 

And him as her fake boyfriend is a terrible idea. Truly awful. If Amy is looking to get over her crush and make things between her and Jonah less complicated, there are better ways to do it. 

Except. 

Except she kind of wants to. 

“Okay. Let’s do it,” she says. 

“Yeah?” 

“Yes,” she says decisively. “But if you try and kiss me, I’ll cut your lips off.” 

“That seems like a proportionate response.”)

“So, to be clear, I told you kissing wasn’t allowed, and you thought that left proposals on the table?” 

He groans again from under the comforter. It’s a little sad and a lot pathetic. Poor guy. 

She pats the comforter in the area of what she hopes is his shoulder. As annoyed as she is at having to untangle these threads, it’s not his fault. Not really. She knows her family is relentless. Amy slides down and flips the comforter over her head as well. 

Jonah rolls over onto his side to face her. Amy does the same. 

“It was better than Adam’s proposal.”

“Adam proposed?” 

Amy nods. “Ish. If I remember correctly he said, ‘I’ll marry you if I have to.’”

“Yikes.” 

“Right?” It’s cozy under this blanket. Intimate even. “You did say some nice things. Even if they came out kind of slurred.” 

“Amy—”

“Sexy, huh?” 

“I really didn’t mean to shout that to all of your dad’s—”

“Because it’s not true?” 

“No!” Jonah winces and Amy isn’t sure if it’s ‘I have a hangover’ induced or ‘I am revealing too much’ induced. “It’s true. Of course it’s true. You are very, you know.” 

“Sexy on a completely objective level? Or, are you saying that you, yourself, Jonah Simms, think I’m sexy?” Jonah goes completely still. Amy isn’t even sure he’s breathing. It’s entirely uncharacteristic and a little unnerving. She pokes his cheek. “Are you blushing?”

“Big time, yeah.” 

That does enough to break the tension under their blanket enclave, both of them laughing, at first awkwardly and then more genuine. Once they stop to catch their breath, Amy notices they’ve shifted closer together. 

This would be the perfect moment to flee from the scene of the complication. But the complications don’t seem so terrible at this specific moment. She blames that lock of hair of his.

“How long have you held this opinion?” Jonah frowns at Amy’s question. “Regarding my sexiness?” she clarifies. 

“Amy—”

“What?” 

“What are you doing?” 

“I just want to—”

“Really? You really want to have this conversation?” 

Jonah stresses the ‘you’ and Amy knows why he does. There isn’t a topic or feeling that is off-limits to Jonah – he’d happily discuss every feeling he’s ever had. It’s her. It’s always her. 

Their faces are so close they’re practically sharing the same pillow. It takes no effort at all for Amy to close the distance between them, lightly brushing her lips against his. As quick as it began it’s over, and even in the dim light under the comforter, Amy can see Jonah’s eyes blown wide. She’s sure she looks just as shocked and she’s the one who did it.  

“You said if I kissed you you’d cut off my lips.”

“Which is why I kissed you.”

“Oh,” he nods. “Makes sense.” Jonah taps out a slow but erratic rhythm against the side of his leg. She just knows he’s trying to stop himself from verbalizing every single thought in his head. “To be clear, was that a friendship kiss, or—” 

So Amy kisses him again. This time Jonah recovers quickly from his shock, winding a hand into her hair, his palm cupping the back of her head. It’s just unbelievably good. 

“Okay,” Jonah says, his voice unsteady as he pulls away. “That answers that.” He traces her jaw with his thumb. “Any chance we could do it some more?” 

Amy rolls onto her back, putting some distance between them. “I don’t think so.” 

“Wait. What?” 

“Your breath is awful.” 

Jonah breathes into his hand and sniffs it to confirm. “What if I brush my teeth?” 

Amy sighs, long and exasperated. “I suppose that would be—”

Jonah is out of the bed in seconds, scrambling for his overnight bag, and Amy presses her lips together to hide her smile. From the way Jonah smiles, soft and delighted as he backs out of the room, she isn’t fooling anyone. 

So far past the point of complicated, she thinks, her heart still racing. But then again, maybe complications that make her feel like this are okay.

#simmosa fanfic #superstore fanfic #jonah x amy #jonah simms #amy sosa #amy dubanowski #I hope you like it anon! #first fic for a new fandom is always the most nerve wracking! #why is that? #p: jonah x amy #c: jonah simms #c: amy sosa #tv: superstore #otp: fresh start #Anonymous #never stories

[simptasia]

ship number ask game;;;; 1, 7, 8, 15, 23, 29, 32, 33, 44 for mistoria please 🥺

thank you so much, keena!! :D

How do they fall asleep? Wake up? Any daily rituals?

typically they fall asleep curled up together spooning (in munku’s bed, or the love nest misto made on his roof, or victoria’s bed at the egyptian, etc), and most of the time misto is the big spoon because he’s ever so protective. they both wuv cuddles, they could stay like that for hours and hours. and they do

they wakin’ up looking like a couple of very content kitties. often purring

daily rituals? nothing they do together is something i’d call a ritual

What annoys them the most about their partner? Would they change it if they could?

uhhh misto is rather insecure so he’s self-deprecating and he doesn’t take compliments as well as one should. victoria could Almost consider this annoying, but mostly she finds it sad and concerning. yeah he got a confidence boost in the movie but he’s gonna still have some issues for a bit. as for misto with victoria,,, uh, victoria is impulsive and highly impressionable and that can get her into trouble and that worries him, so he wishes she’d think things thru a bit more. but again, i don’t think he finds it annoying, as much as... worrisome

so basically neither of them actually dislike anything about the other

What do the like best about their partner?

they both love each other’s kindness the best

cats, even these sapient cats, aren’t Especially deep creatures so they’re mainly thinking with their hearts and some other organs. ahem. so they love each other for being kind and sweet and good and funny and also sexy reasons. misto also loves what a good dancer victoria is, i mention because dancing is obviously incredibly important to the culture of jellicle cats. it’s like a mystical language

How adventurous are they?

victoria, Very. misto, coax him and he’ll get into it

victoria is down for anything, she’s hungry for Experiences, her eyes aglitter with wonder and curiosity. misto is an anxious overthinker but victoria (and munku) can convince him to do anything. ANYTHING. he needs to remember that he has the powers of a fucking god and maybe he’ll calm down a bit. anyways once he’s in The Adventure he’s like “oh this is really fun! why was i worried”

How do they hug? Kiss? Tease? Flirt? Comfort?

hug: ohhh misto would have to bend pretty much in half or get down on his knees because he’s a Long Boy and victoria is widdle. itsy bitsy. or he’s holding her to his chest. mostly they hug laying down anyways. i’m reminded of that post thats like “the ideal hug is 45 minutes”, yeah that. tight, unabashed, nuzzly affection. oh, with tails curled together too! how could i almost forget that

kiss: i personally shy away from imagining the cats kissing. i like the idea that nuzzles, in certain contexts and relationships, are their version of kissing. (like, their nuzzle during misto’s song very much felt like a movie’s Big Damn Kiss moment) i’m not against people writing/drawing Cats universe cats human style kissing, they just don’t in my version of this world in my head....... that and i find writing about kissing to be especially hard so the idea of writing nuzzles and other affections instead makes me feel pleased

tease: sometimes victoria will purposely move her tail is an extra slow and hypnotic manner in order to draw attention to... some attention deserving areas below the tail. and misto? tease? oh please. mr. Yes Victoria, No Victoria, Step On Me, Victoria, I’ve Been A Good Boy ain’t teasing nobody

flirt: i wouldn’t so much call it flirting as i’d call it They Want Each Other Desperately And Aren’t Subtle About It. also dancing. also based on the movie, misto’s form of flirting is to suddenly expose pretty cats to juggling and card tricks....... bewildering but effective. we make fun but by the end of the movie, he’s got two of the hottest cats in the tribe, so checkmate atheists

comfort: hold the other tight and pet their head while telling them they’re here for the other. whilst making soft soothing noises and rocking a bit

How do the handle disasters or emergencies? Minor injuries? Sickness?

disasters and emergencies? when something goes wrong the first plan is always Get Munkustrap, He’ll Know What To Do

minor injuries, i’m picturing victoria is a hurt leg, like she fell over and got a cut from something in the bin, and misto panics slightly but gets a band-aid from his top hat and tends to it, which is cute. also if victoria’s leg was can’t walk hurt, misto would piggy back her everywhere. just thought i’d mention that adorable mental image. as for sickness,,,, uhhh dote on each other i guess. keep cozy on misto’s roof, lotsa blankets and such

Do they ever get into trouble? Is it serious, or are they just mischievous?

yeah sometimes, nah never anything serious. misto for knocking shit over. and victoria can be pretty rowdy when given the chance (see: mungo and rumple’s song, where she also trashs a peson’s house and dinner jhdsajhdsa)

...also misto has gotten in trouble with his owners in the past for... how do i put this... loving the household pillows more than one should

it was a phase he went thru, he don’t do that anymore

What kind of presents do they get each other? Do they only do it on special occasions?

oh you know, traditional stuff: jewellery... food... buttons... dead birds

misto is a self described romantical cat after all

and nah, not just on special occasions, they’d both like “hey i found something shiny or tasty for you” or “i killed this, please enjoy it” and viola

Are the comfortable with each other? Anything they have to have their privacy for?

yes, they’re very comfortable with each other. at most, misto gets discomfort due to severe nervousness but thats not like discomfort with victoria

and for the second question,,,, you’re kidding, right? they’re cats. these two would casually lick themselves in front of each other. ah, okay, actually, there is some stuff involving misto’s favourite toy, a plush toy rabbit named flopsy, that he kept to himself beforehand buuuut he gets over that. misto gets his weird little shame spirals sometimes but they always get past it because victoria is so delightfully non-judgemental and sweet and down for whatever

thank you for your time!

#cats 2019 #gonna nip this in the bud: if you hate this movie why'd you click that read more huh #annnyways i really enjoyed this #i've been discussing cats a lot with my friends lately #and i looove these two so much #johnmulaneyhentai

[ellewords]

i loved your most recent stuff with oikawa and akaashi!! i found it endearing how oikawa genuinely wants to make his relationship with the reader work despite the difficulties and how akaashi is attentive, sometimes to a fault

anyways i fell deeper down the rabbit hole that is going seventeen and i come bearing souvenirs >:3c i recently watched their human chess #1 and i thought it would fit the olympic team! tbh a lot of going seventeen content can fit just about all of the schools but i think i tend to go towards the national team because of the potential for all of the different dynamics and combinations

i really loved their outfits in this episode and how most were color-coordinated too! i bet the hq boys would look really nice in them too hehe

(2:12) hinata as woozi placing the idea of making sound effects into bokuto's head

(2:31, 2:44, 4:25, 5:38, 7:19) I’M CONTINUING THE BOKUTO AS DK AGENDA it just fits so well???

(3:03) wonwoo with his hair like this reminds me of kageyama so much ahhhh also kageyama trying to be cool but failing ;;w;;

(3:51) atsumu is definitely hoshi (he was really about to start doing some pushups or something LOOOL) I WANT TO SEE ARAN AS S.COUPS

(4:38) aran as s.coups, atsumu is hoshi, SUNA AS MINGHAO

(5:06) THE WAY IT CUTS TO HOSHI JUST SQUATTING THERE

(5:46) ATSUMU AND BOKUTO

(6:00) WHY DID DK MAKE THAT NOISE HELP

(7:41) jun’s little cheer!! idk which boy he’d be but for some reason i'm getting hoshiumi vibes from seungkwan

(12:32) "WOOZI YOUR FINGERS ARE SO SEXY"

the human chess #2 was also so funny seungkwan literally flying off the chess board had me WHEEZING

(0:18) bokuto as dk once again

(2:08) HOSHIUMI MAKING THIS FACE AND SAYING THAT THEY SHOULD NAIL THE BUCKET TO THE GROUND

(4:11) suna as minghao catching the pirate toy and his little smile

(6:18) HINATA OR KAGEYAMA FOR SURE THEY JUST GET TOO EXCITED/COMPETITIVE AND THEY JUST GO FLYING

(7:21) the contrast between “thank goodness he fell the right way” versus “his butt is strong” FICJDJDNSJS

(8:02) SUNA AS MINGHAO i love when fanarts depict him as being quite flexible like these ones (one, two) with him and sakusa stretching together

(10:25) something about jeonghan's blunt “pep talk” makes me think of sakusa for some reason

(12:25) SAKUSA AS JEONGHAN i don't know if he'd have flexible fingers just like how he has flexible wrists but i like to think so because then we’d be matching >:)

(13:35) mingyu as ushijima (the editing cutting him off was funny but also LET HIM SPEAK!!!!) actually now that i think about it mingyu radiated strong ushijima vibes in these episodes, like i could see ushijima in his outfit haha

(13:55) hinata about to take a bite from sakusa's arm feat. a stray bokuto—🌸💫

AAA PLEASE OMG IM GLAD YOU LIKED MY FOUR AM BRAINROT 🤧 was lowkey scared that it wasn't going to make any sense >_<

anyways, ty for feeding my hq as svt brainrot hehe thoughts under the cut <33

human chess #1

(2:12) hhhh--- that’s so cute omg Hinata making lil sound effects whenever he moves awe

(2:31, 2:44, 4:25, 5:38, 7:19) YES YES ABSOLUTELY THEY BOTH HAVE BIG GOLDEN RETRIEVER ENERGY I LOVE THEM 7:19 IS SWEET THO I IMAGINE HINATA AS SEUNGKWAN COPYING HIM UWU

(3:03) the way you put my svt bias with my hq first love ;-; really wanna see him in wonwoo’s fit just so soft

(3:51) yes yes !! imagine the look of pure panic on Atsumu’s face when aran says “it’s me”

(4:38) suna having hao’s lil smile and giggle will be peak devastation for me

(5:06) I ACTUALLY CACKLED WHAT WAS THIS MAN DOING

(5:58) adding to the aran as s.coups agenda hehe

(6:00) I also don’t know and at this point I am afraid to find out

(7:41) yes on hoshiumi being seungkwan but hear me out -- Sakusa as jun in this moment,, like someone asks him to cheer and he just does that :<<

(12:32) hinata’s slip of the tongue and saying this to kags lmaoooo (the setters have pretty hands wbk)

human chess #2

(2:08) HOSHIUMI WITH A LIL POUT THAT’S SO CUTE

(4:11) PEAK DEVASTATION PT. TWO FOR ME

(6:18) YES AND EVERYONE JUST LOSES IT + suna or maybe atsumu as jeonghan asking the editors to edit him on a carpet

(7:21) “thank goodness he fell the right way” - ushijima versus “his butt is strong” - bokuto 

(8:02) I SEE THE SUNA AS HAO AGENDA CONTINUES I HAVE NO COMPLAINTS (gives me the big uwus seeing the fan art)

(10:25) yes and dino being kageyama or something who’s just out here trying his best

(12:25) awe matching flexible wrists that’s cute

(13:35) PLEASE OMG USHI JUST SAYING SOMETHING ODDLY SENTIMENTAL OUT OF NOWEHERE AAA but yes someone put him in that outfit

(13:55) something like this has actually happened I feel it in my bones

I offer another video bec you keep sending me to brainrot : debate night with the olympians (the debate nights + the mafia ones are actually legendary and there’s a reason why they’re huge fan faves with multiple reiterations love ‘em sm)

(0:46) IWA AS WONWOO THEY REALLY DRAGGED HIM IN TO HOST HEHE >:)

(2:03) USHIJIMA AS MINGYU MAKING A SUPER DUMB JOKE AND EVERYONE JUST GOING ...

(2:08) SAKUSA WOULD BE JEONGHAN THO,,, BIG BRAIN ENERGY THE ENTIRE TIME

(3:20) HOSHIUMI AND SEUNGKWAN SIT AT THE SAME TABLE

(5:58) PLEASE IWA TELLING BO AND TSUMU TO SIT DOWN

(8:29) IMAGINING SAKUSA AND BO AS THIS JUST SENDS

(10:37) back on my Hoshiumi as seungkwan agenda and sakusa would be exactly how jeonghan is acting

(11:55) this is just so funny to me,, and dk acting as all the animals is just *chef’s kiss*

hehe ty for reading this ramble !! hope you’re doing well !! <3

#💘 — love elle! #🎐 — 🌸💫anon! <3

[ofwolvesandbutterflies]

the constant

Pairing: Nakamoto Yuta x Reader

Genre: suggestive fluff

Tags: gang!au, partnersincrime!au

Warnings: brief mentions of violence, mature content... the whole works

day 15 of 30 days with NCT

Synopsis: in which you and yuta have a love/hate relationship in the way that yes, there are times you’d stop at nothing to rip his throat out... but you’d still kill anyone who’d try to kill him.

// tryin’ to be with you is crazy // (x)

--

[23:44]

Out of all the things that were supposed to happen today, you would have never expected to be at yet another lavish party, posing as Yuta’s arm candy in an effort to catch any piece of information that could help total the yakuza your group had been having trouble with for years. On top of that, nor did you expect to have his hands teasing the edges of your thin party dress up little by little, sloppy, open mouthed kisses coaxing moan after moan from your glossed lips. 

Today was supposed to be your day off. No guns, no violence, no blood, no sex, and no Yuta. Forget the perfectly tailored leather pants that hugged you in all the right ways and concealed so many dangerous gadgets, the hidden knives up your sleeves, and the eternally loaded gun always ready in your holster. Today was all about comfy sweatpants, oversized long sleeves, and all the unhealthy food you fasted from during the work week at the 127 syndicate. 

The aroma of slow baked chocolate and the tiniest hint of vanilla wafted through the air, bringing a genuinely happy smile to your watering mouth. Nothing could ruin this afternoon. And then, your phone lit up, vibrated against the wood grain of the table you sat against with a ring you wished meant something - someone - else. You stuffed a piece of brownie in your mouth before pulling the device up to your ear. 

"Where you at, baby girl?" Yuta's relaxed voice floated through the phone speakers like honey; smooth, sickeningly sweet, and so very easy to get addicted to. Yuta was cocky, he was confident. You supposed it was part of his charm as the infamous womanizer of the gang. Nevertheless, having to hear that almost every hour of every minute of the week was definitely part of the reason hearing his ring tone never hesitated to spark irritation in the very depths of your being. He continued. “Just thought I’d let you know I missed seeing your ass this morning at the 07:00 meeting.” Your lips curled back into a sneer, swallowing the rest of the brownie chunk you had just stuffed into your mouth.

"How nice of you to call in on my day off, sweet cheeks." Shoving the freshly baked plate of brownies back onto the counter, you hissed at your partner, not even bothering to cover the annoyance in your tone. "Thought you had another - what was it you rather me call them again? Oh right - another rendezvous this afternoon. 

"Oh, that’s right. I did have something planned. If I remember correctly, it was with this hot piece of multi-million dollar eye candy, Bae Joohyun. And I was looking forward to it, too. Would’ve been an easy couple thousand.” An over exaggerated sigh pushed its way out of your partner’s infuriatingly soft lips. Had the handsome blond been right beside you, a sure smirk would have appeared on his face, challenging you, taunting you. “Too bad it got cancelled. Jealous, babe?"

"Never in a million years, dickhead,” the scoff elicited a sigh from his end of the call. “Now what do you want?"

His answer was quick, sharp and you could practically see the shit-eating grin seeping into his voice.

"Jaehyun said to be back within the hour. He and ‘Yong have a thing for us to do sometime soon. And by 'sometime soon' I mean by the end of today." Good thing you had put the brownies away a few minutes ago, the news surely would have shocked you into choking on a piece of chocolate-y heaven. Your eyes widened and your back stiffened. This must have been important. Jaehyun and Taeyong never called you or any other member in on a day off unless it was imperative to the success of the crime syndicate. “Y/N? You still on?” 

"Wha- wait, Yuta, what’s going on?” Adjusting the phone so that it was in speaker mode, you quickly pulled your hair up into a sleek ponytail and ran about your studio apartment in a rush to get your work-outfit on. Pressed button down? Check. Sexy pants? Check. Dark shoes, sunglasses, and mask? Check. “Why today? Wh- I mean, what details are we working with here? What type of stuff do I need?" 

“They didn’t give me much to work off of, babe, just told me to tell you to get your ass up and over to the company in 15 minutes.” The pet name flew over your head to go completely unnoticed as you stripped down to change. Gone was the playful banter the two of you shared on the daily. Yuta’s work voice was on which meant he was serious. You bit back a groan, hopping around on one foot as you tried to stuff your other foot into the pant leg. 

“You said within the hour. Fifteen minutes?! Really?" 

"The sooner the better, Princess. You know Jae doesn't like to be kept waiting." 

Grumbled complaints fell upon deaf ears and you stuffed your company wallet and ID into your purse. “Fine. I’ll see you in fifteen.” 

“Make that ten.” 

“Oh my fucking- Yuta!” 

--

Getting to the party had been no problem. Slipping in unnoticed hadn’t been a problem, either. Hell, even convincing everyone you were another escort and that Yuta was part of a new development in one of their small eastern groups was easy money. However, getting the information… had been posing a problem. 

The rough prints Taeyong had provided the two of you with said the meeting room was more centrally located in the house. While the information you were going off of was limited, the moment the two of you wandered past the crowds of low ranking footmen and into barren hallways where only a few, higher class gang members stood guarding a door, you knew you had found what you were looking for. 

A surge of confidence welled up within you and you started toward the group of men over in front of the door. You could take these pansies. However, a hand, warm and calloused from years of fighting, tugged you back into a familiar chest before you could do anything. Within seconds, his lips were on your neck, kissing and sucking dark bruises into your skin with leisure. Albeit a little taken aback, you followed your partner’s lead and tilted your neck to grant him more access.

“Ahh… Yuta…” Leaning back into his body, you crained your neck so you could shoot a hooded glare up at your partner. “As much as I love how needy you are at the most inconvenient of times-” 

“Easy, princess,” Yuta murmured, smile evident in the way his voice lowered, deep and sensual against the shell of your ear. You suppressed a delicious shiver at the sensation of his hands sliding up and down your arms. “Sorry about the sudden contact, there are just a couple of guys to my five o’ clock that were looking. But those goons over there? There’s three of them, two of us. We can’t rush them like this.” 

“Gr… Fine.” All of a sudden, he paused to spin you around and slam you up against the wall of the hallway, only loud enough to garner the little bit more of needed attention to the two of you. With his hands on either side of your head and his teeth teasing the flesh of your neck, you couldn’t decide whether to glare at him or kiss the dumb grin off his lips when he wedged his knee between your legs. 

“How about a little... distraction?” Your eyelids fluttered when kissed you again, immediately understanding what he meant. You knew well this was all a part of the job, rolling your core up into the evident arousal forming in your partner’s pants, biting back a moan when he bent down slowly, eyes flickering over your shoulder to check on your audience... But damn, the way his clothed hips met yours had you moaning your partner’s name louder than you originally meant to. 

“Oh my go- Yuta, oh fuck…” One last kiss and he pulled away, sparing you a knowing smirk before turning towards the sound of footsteps near your position. All three men surrounded the two of you, eyes trained solely on your partner.

“HEY.” A giggle threatened to slip from your mouth when you heard how high one of the guy’s voices was. 

“‘Sup, man?” Yuta cocked his head, running a finger over your lips playfully before grinning up at the frowning male glaring at him, the shorter one. “Need something? Another drink? You need a light? Oh shit, have you tried any of the girls over here-”

“Cap it, dickwad,” another guy growled. You noticed Yuta’s smile drop ever so slightly and your blood began to boil. No one called Yuta ‘dickwad’ except for you. “You got 10 seconds to find another hallway to fuck this bitch in before I-” 

“She’s not a ‘bitch’,” your partner grumbled before the other idiot could finish his sentence. The other man stopped and glanced at his friends in disbelief, as if he couldn’t believe a ‘low-ranking foot soldier’ dared talk back to him. You fought the urge to go for your knife when he grabbed Yuta’s collar, sneering. 

“Care to repeat that, dumbass?”

“Sure, old man,” Yuta growled, eyes narrowing as he squared his shoulders in front of you. “Don’t. Call. Her. A. Bitch.” 

“Why you little fuck-” he didn’t have a chance to finish his sentence, though. Because Yuta had already kicked him in the gut and threw a well-squared punch straight into his jaw, knocking him out cold. The other two rushed at him, dark eyes glowing with something dangerous - but they, too, were on the floor, unconscious within seconds.

“Come on,” he called, stepping carelessly over the unconscious bodies and towards the door. “Door’s open.” For a moment, all you could do was stare with your mouth agape at your partner. You had worked with him for the past 4 years and while so much of your time together was spent arguing, bickering over trivial things… There were moments like these that reminded you he still cared in his own way. Releasing a breath, Yuta’s shoulders visibly relaxed and he pulled the recording device out of his suit jacket. 

“Wait- Yuta!” you spoke, hurrying over to your partner’s side. He turned and paused mid-stride, eyes refusing to meet yours just like the way they did every other time he did something for you. “What the fuck- I mean, what was that- I mean, wait. No. T-thank you. You… You didn’t need to beat them up.”

“Pfft, who said I was doing it for you,” he shrugged, voice back to being cocky, slinging an arm around your waist to pull you closer to the door, still avoiding your gaze. “Those guys- they were just assholes in general, they don’t know how much shit you put up with. They deserved that.” 

“But still…” You trailed off, knowing he wasn’t just going to take a compliment like this. So instead, you turned towards him, cupped his chin and pressed a sweet kiss to the frown disfiguring his beautiful features. And he stopped, grabbing your waist to pull you to him once more, soft lips caressed yours. It was all part of the job, that much you knew. Playing coy, acting dumb, kicking ass, skipping days off, and kissing random strangers. 

But the one constant you could always count on was Yuta. Your annoying partner who would always, always have your back.

#cznnet #nct #nct scenarios #nct oneshot #nct fanfic #nct imagines #nct blurbs #nct fluff #nct smut #nct x reader #nct 127 #nct 127 yuta #nct yuta #nct yuta scenarios #nct yuta fanfic #nct yuta imagines #nct yuta fluff #nct yuta smut #nct yuta x reader #nct yuta nakamoto #yuta nakamoto #yuta #yuta scenarios #yuta oneshot #yuta fanfic #yuta imagines #yuta blurbs #yuta fluff #yuta smut #yuta x reader

[starkerparkerpony]

I Scold Because I Stan Pt.3

AU where Tony (44-45 y/o) meets an aged up (23-24 y/o) Peter after Civil War, Tony is broken up with Pepper and all kinds of sorry for himself. Peter is a ESU graduate and currently has an internship with Oscorp and is a photographer for the Daily Bugle he is also spiderman and therefore perpetually exhausted and has very little patience

Read part 1 & 2

Please consider reblogging.

Two months of having Peter in his life and one thing became abundantly clear to Tony, he was not used to being adored like this. Because it was pure adoration with Peter. Maybe he was different with him than he'd been with Pepper but he couldn't be sure. He didn't know. He just really liked it.

They had not had sex yet. Hell they hadn't even properly kissed yet, Tony had had a long day dealing with goddamned Doombots because that's the kind of person Victor Von Doom became after he got dumped by his fiance, which was a complete and utter disgrace and men should learn how to cope with rejection better... like seriously... he's not the biggest fan of that stretchy-fuck Richards either and what the fuck kind of name is 'Reed' anyway? But it's still no excuse to become a supervillain... Tony used to like Victor for fuck's sake- Peter was waiting for Tony back at the tower.

And for some reason Tony prepared himself to get scolded... because that's what happened right? He manages to right what was wrong and comes back to a stressed and disappointed Pepper.

But that didn't happen.

"I saw you get hit." The young man hurried towards him and scanned Tony's entire being, very thoroughly for potential damage with a forrowed brow, Spiderman man was there too, Peter must've been there to get photos.

"I'm fine, the suit is going to require some tlc though," Tony tried to reassure him.

"You're sure?"

"You bet."

"Okay," Peter said, relaxed, and then pressed a quick kiss onto Tony's lips before enveloping him in a very tight and very comforting hug.

And that was it... no further lectures about priorities and personal wellbeing. Just comfort.

No, they hadn't had sex yet but Peter looked at Tony with such intensity sometimes, that he already felt too naked whenever he was with the younger guy... surprisingly enough, he liked this feeling too.

Pepper was an actual saint but it had required a very specific type of physical and mental effort, to maintain a relationship with her. But with Peter it was so effortless, that sometimes Tony felt like a cheat.

But he'd started to have that uncomfortable conversation with himself... the conversation about commitments and public announcements. Peter was mindful of dealing with the press that comes with rich people. So their "dates" had all been in the tower. Tony had asked about Peter's place but Peter refused because "Tony honey, you're not old enough to be exposed to the graphic images of poverty and squalor that come with a cheap New York studio apartment. And I'm not emotionally prepared to take down all my Iron Man posters, so that's not gonna' happen."

So they hung around the tower, they watched movies, they ate together, sometimes they even worked together. Peter always brought flowers. It was home.

Which was probably why Tony kinda forgot himself one such day. He had spent more that 42 hours in the lab, Peter showed up.

And Tony, because he was a little bit of an idiot, who wanted nothing more than to impress his new guy, asked Friday to tell him that he was more than welcome in the lab.

But Peter had never been down there before.

So after waiting more than half an hour, a very impatient Tony made his way into the living area of his tower, where Peter was watching CNN while munching on some of Tony's favorite cheese popcorn.

"What are you doing?" Tony asked indignant.

"Watching the news... waiting for you, ass," Peter answered, shooting him a teasing little glare "Oh, and I made popcorn! Want some?"

"I asked you to come downstairs," Tony had been waiting patiently downstairs to show the guy the new sensors he had been working on, for Rhodey.

"Er... I- I've never been... I thought you were just being courteous," Peter winced and mumbled, feeling awkward as hell.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Tony had already had a shitty day, Pepper had been yelling at him for not showing up for a government contractor lick-fest, Tony didn't need whatever it was that Peter was trying to do. He just wanted to show his boyfriend the cool things he made and be kissed.

"Tony... I don't know... I didn't think I had the clearance to be down there. I've never signed an NDA or anything for you," Peter half shrugged.

"Why would you need to sign an NDA to hang out with your boyfriend?" Tony realized very late that this was the first time he'd used the word 'boyfriend' in front of Peter and immediately started blushing like an idiot.

"Because I work for a rival company of yours and it would be very awkward for both me and my boyfriend if something you're working on was suddenly introduced by said rival company. Even if it was a coincidence. Also don't you have Avengers stuff down there? Like don't I need... I dunno security clearance to see it? By the way are we discussing the boyfriend thing now or later because I need to cry and scream from the rooftops about it at some point." Of course Peter wouldn't let that bit slip, which only made Tony blush harder.

"I'm not an idiot... anything you don't have clearance for, you won't see. And I trust you. Is this good screaming and crying or bad screaming and crying?" Might as well make sure.

Peter was already making his way closer to him, wrapping Tony in a warm embrace.

"The crying and screaming of pure joy."

"Sounds intense."

"It will be... there'll be snot involved."

"Sexy."

"I know."

"Wanna makeout?"

"Oh hell to the fuck yes."

And so Tony walked Peter back to the couch, planted himself in the younger man's lap and right as he was about to initiate the tonsil hockey game of a lifetime, Peter interrupted-

"You really trust me?" He asked.

"Do you think that I would currently be straddling you if I didn't?" Tony asked back, incredulous... and then his three leaked sextapes that still sometimes trend on certain 'hubs' on the internet came to mind. "Wait don't answer that."

Trust was a pretty weird thing for Peter... he absolutely adored Tony but he still hadn't told him about any alternate identities and maybe it was time to reciprocate that trust.

Soon.

"So You don't think I'm like a gold digger or something?" This was some quick thinking on Peter's part

The strange vulnerability in Peter's voice made Tony ask-

"Did someone say something to you?" Pepper and Rhodey hadn't yet met Peter but they knew about him. They wouldn't do something like this but maybe...

"Just a silly joke that MJ and the guys made... kinda kept niggling... no big deal," Peter was trying to brush it off because he wasn't ready to discuss the what was really on his mind when it came to trust and Tony but the older man still thought that if it didn't affect him he wouldn't have brought it up.

"Babe... I regret to inform you but you're really not kiss-y ass-y enough to be a gold digger. I don't think any gold digger has scolded their gold diggee(?) As much as you scold me." Tony pressed soft kisses along his jawline as he tried to reassure him.

"Hey I scold because I care you ass." Peter chuckled huskily.

"I know"

And then Peter was running his hands up and down Tony's back, and it made him wonder if he was in fact part cat, because humans don't really enjoy being petted as much as him, do they? Maybe it was just that Peter touched him so well.

Honestly Peter could be doing anything and Tony would enjoy it. He nibbled along his throat and Tony couldn't help but grind down on his lap. He brought his delightful hands up his back and into his hair, gently pulling him into a deep, sensual kiss and Tony was so utterly lost.

He gently licked into his mouth and of course he tasted of cola and popcorn and it was delectable.

Tony hadn't ever really been the dominant type but he'd also never quite felt so... safe as when he did when Peter was leading him.

When they broke apart for a breath, Tony couldn't help but cup Peter's beautiful face with both his hands and just stare into the beautiful boy's eyes, as if trying to figure out the reason why such a fantastic creature could ever choose a... mess like Tony.

"God Tony you have the most beautiful eyes," Peter breathed.

Which of course made Tony blush like an absolute fool. He always did this. Peter Parker had a habbit of breaking through Tony's moments of self doubt with pure adoration and he was utterly helpless to it.

Tony had to physically restrain himself from replying with 'I love you' because two months was probably too soon for saying it.

He'd say it the next time Peter scolded him.

Soon.

Not many words were spoken after that except for "scoot back" "shift up a little" "no that tickles" "wait not there" "oh yess that's nice" "keep going" "don't stop" "please stay".

Taglist- @spidey-nerd @areluctantsblog @briesb1tch @fleet-of-ships @darker-soft-starker @heybrotherpourthewine @buckybarnes-is-bae @starkerlovestony @nachtvuur @theginkosakata @plsstopgivingpetertrauma @highbloodprinz @supernaturalpadfoot @strkrmdnss @thewolffearsher @starkravingspiders @whenfandomscollide @starkerrifics @starkersenses @merwinist @this-starker-hoe @sad-princess28 @smidnite @mystarkershame @somethingihadtocarry @goodtimesstarker @lacechains @hermit-fangirl @colorofpearls @narutoyaoifans @ravens-starker-stuff @lover-starker @littlemonstercupcake @starkerkitty91x @tigger232 @mcusicals @cartorchdeath @sadbumblingmess @winter-starker @pixelizedgenocide @lurafita @yadds @starkerisendgame @peterscherry @tonyfuckingstarkismykink

#starker #starker fic #tony stark x peter parker #iron man x spider man #ironspider #bamf peter parker #precious tony #i scold because i stan #fluff #starker au

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten Twice Stupid prt.53

Lance was blushing so hard he was surprised he had any blood flow to his dick. Stripping him slowly, Keith’s hands had been shaking, neither of them knew what to do, but that was okay because they were working this out together. His scent might have changed, but he felt fully focused on Keith. Keith, his beautiful little anger loaf of a boyfriend.

Dipping into the supplies brought by Curtis, Lance was almost glad the hunter had forced them on him. With Keith slotted between his legs, he was hyper focused on his boyfriend being hard for him. He wanted him. He wanted to do with this him... and God did Lance want this, while fearing it at the same time. This some whole next level shit. Next level boyfriend shit that made him feel a little lame for not knowing what to do. Kissing Keith was like dying and going to heaven. Sex... he expected it to hurt, but his heart was pounding with excitement, his needy body already growing wet

“We don’t have to if you’re not ready”

Keith shook his head, Lance swallowing hard as he stared into his boyfriend’s beautiful purple eyes

“I want to be with you”

“You are... you have me. I’m completely here with you”

“I... don’t know what I’m doing”

“That’s okay. We’re figuring this out together. Just go gentle on me”

“I will... um... lube first”

“That’s a great start...”

“Right...”

Lance didn’t laugh as Keith popped the cap on the lube, then realised that he couldn’t open the condom packet with lubed up fingers. The first condom ended up tearing, his boyfriend getting more flustered and nervous by the minute. Lance wanted their first time to be special, but he also wanted to make things easier for Keith

“Hop up for a second, I’ve got an idea”

His idea was rolling over to get onto his hands and knees. That was Keith could see what he was doing... despite it being kind of embarrassing to be completely on display for his boyfriend. God, he was fucking nervous. Each movement behind him had him jumpy... and when Keith’s lubed up finger rubbed against his opening, he damn near forgot how to breathe as he buried his face in Keith’s pillow. He wanted to crack a joke to ease the tension, but he didn’t know what to say. After 44 years of nearly exit only, his arse wasn’t sure what to make of the digit pressing lightly against the his opening

“Ok... I’m gonna... well...”

Lance tried not to fight the initial discomfort. He knew he needed to relax his body, but his boner had already gone soft as his body went “what the actual fuck do you think you’re doing to me”. Feeling Keith’s finger in him was odd, more so when he moved it. It was kind of unpleasant, yet Lance was also feeling those cramps of need starting to build. Nervous over all of this, he wanted that feeling to build. He wanted that to strip away his fears

“Does... it feels alright?”

“Mhmm...”

Nope. It didn’t. But this was Keith. He wanted this with Keith. It wasn’t the romantic hotel room for the night, buuuuut, maybe it was better this way. They were in a safe place. Keith knew this was safe place. Once the initial awkwardness passed, they’d have gotten their first super clumsy time out the way.

Two fingers felt weirder. Keith sounded as if he was really getting into it. His breath catching, as he watched his fingers moving in and out against his sweet spot, sending conflicting feelings through his body. He wasn’t fond of the intrusion, but that spot... felt amazing. Flipping the cap, cold lube drizzled over his arse made him suck in a breath

“Lance?”

“‘m okay... cold”

“Okay”

Keith asking him if he was okay made Lance fall in love with Keith all over again. Reassured he was okay, Keith’s movements grew bolder, Lance shorting out mentally. His heat was getting it now, teeth elongating, as that discomfort finally got the hint to fuck off.

When Keith moved onto three fingers, Lance felt like his arse was being split in two. Head shooting up. Eyes wide. A whole lot of “nope” from his arse, with a whole lot of “yes” from his sweet spot

“Lance?”

Gritting his teeth, he was going to get through this

“Don’t stop”

“You’re really tense... if it hurts...”

“Don’t stop. It’s okay... just... fuck...”

“We don’t...”

“Keith, it’s okay... keep going”

“I don’t want you hurt”

“You’re not hurting me...”

“Okay... um... this is really hot watching... my fingers... in you”

Lance bit back his groan at Keith enjoying watching himself fingering him. He wanted his boyfriend to feel good... He wanted to feel good. Never sticking anything up there mid heat, and touching himself there was different to what he’d tried to train his body to be used to. Now he was getting what his ego craved, everything felt almost too much.

By some small miracle, Keith stretched him enough that the burn had subsided. His heat smacking him as Keith’s fingers slid from inside him. Being full felt weird, being empty felt... empty to a painful degree

“Babe?”

“I want it”

“Let me know if I need to stop”

Keith should have been high on his scent like every other time. His boyfriend fighting the pheromones in the room to put his well-being first. Feeling overly emotional, this wasn’t how Lance wanted to do the next bit. He wanted to see Keith. He wanted to wrap his arms around him and kiss him. Feeling Keith rubbing against him, Lance needed to tell Keith that

“Wait... I want to see your face”

Keith was patient as Lance turned back over and shimmied down the bed. He didn’t feel terribly sexy, but he did feel a whole lot better facing his boyfriend. Reaching out with both hands, he cupped Keith’s face

“Okay... I’m ready”

“If I mess up...”

Lance smiled softly, it was kind of a given they would stuff up somehow

“It’ll still be okay because it’s you”

Keith nuzzled into his palm

“I’m nervous”

“Me too. But I want this with you. Now ravage me”

Keith snorted, pressing a kiss to Lance’s hand

“I’ll try”

“Then let’s do this”

Keith slipped twice as he tried to press into Lance’s wet heat. Third time lucky had Lance’s back arching as he gasped, semi trying to shoot up the bed to escape the feeling, while simultaneously trying to shoot you the bed and ruin this for both of them. Maybe Curtis had been onto something with the suggestion of toys. Slowly burning himself balls deep, Lance had his eyes scrunched up, breathing out the window, that jolt from being filled sent specks of red across his eyelids

“Babe?”

“Gimme a sec”

“This isn’t going to work”

The slow drag of Keith’s dick made Lance gasp. They’d made it this far

“Don’t pull out!”

“Wha...”

“Just... move slowly... and kiss me”

Keith’s rhythm took a while to find. Stuttered and clumsy, his boyfriend tried to hold back, his kisses making up for any loss in technique, even if Lance was near bent into two so Keith could reach his lips. Hyper focused on each movement, his heat simmered in the background, letting him focus too much on what Keith was doing to him... all of it adding up, but not quite enough to push him over the edge and into that orgasmic high. It wasn’t an “oh Jesus” moment when Keith came, a whinied kind of grunt forced from Keith’s nose, as his body tensed, pushing down on Lance with what felt like was full weight. Being caged by Keith felt good. Like the moment was protected from the outside world and those who’d disapprove of them being together. Riding out the last of his orgasm, Keith’s lips crashed into his, blood spilling across Lance’s gums, in a way that made him want more. Gradually the kiss ended, Keith panting against his lips

“Did you come?”

“Not yet...”

His boyfriend looked disappointed

“But, this was our first. And that makes me happy”

“You didn’t come”

Keith went to pull out, Lance clenching around him

“Don’t... let me get off having you in me”

Keith didn’t seem sure

“Sit back... I’m close”

He was. His arse was throbbing like mad, his body so close to coming that he barely had to jerk himself off before he finally came across his stomach. Keith’s eyes were like a hungry predator as Lance’s damn near rolled back in his head. Slumping back, Lance’s legs shook like crazy, hand still wrapped around his dick as he milked the last drops from his spent dick

“I could watch you do that all day”

Blushing, Lance couldn’t deal with the praise

“I could have you fuck me all day”

Keith pursed his lips, Lance would have kicked himself if he didn’t feel so satisfied

“I don’t... was it bad?”

“No. No. Babe, trust me. It was weird, but it wasn’t bad”

“Weird good?”

“Weird verging on next time I’m gonna come so fucking hard”

“So it was okay?”

“Very okay. And you’re very okay. Pretty good for two virgins, if I say so myself”

That made Keith smile. Fuck. It should be illegal to be that cute

“Does it hurt?”

“A bit... but that’s because we haven’t done it enough... I’m very much okay with this”

“Good... I thought...”

“You thought because I didn’t come it was bad. It wasn’t bad. But we did make a mess”

Suddenly Keith’s eyes were going wide

“The puppy! Shit... we forgot about the puppy!”

Listening out, he could hear Shiro worrying about what was taking them so long. So much for enjoying some post sex snuggling

“It’s okay... I’ll tell them I needed something... but are you okay?”

Keith nodded, worrying his bottom lip before replying

“It... you feel good”

With the way his arse was throbbing, he’d hope Keith felt good

“I’ll take the compliment. And I’ll take round two later. For now we need to clean up. You’ve got blood on your face”

“You’ve got more on yours”

“But I’m a vampire, I’m used to it. Blood tastes gross to you humans”

“So you’re fine with my blood?”

Keith had got him there. Maybe he was a little too fine with Keith’s blood, which wasn’t what he wanted to be

“Kissing blood is okay, drinking not so. Now, are you going to pull out? Or is this a new thing we’re trying”

“No... I’m... I forgot...”

“You forgot you were still inside me?”

“You distracted me by jerking off”

“Ugh. Right. Totally blame me. I see how it’s gonna be now”

Keith missed the joke

“How what’s going to be?”

“Never mind. We need to take a shower”

*

Keith’s after care with almost too much. Sure, Lance’s knees buckled when he went to get out of bed, but now his boyfriend was hovering. Not in the mood to cook, he’d sent Curtis and Shiro to pick up pizza, while Keith fed his puppy. Shiro gave him a look that pretty much told him he knew what they’d been up to, but Keith insisted Lance was being paranoid.

Blue was no impressed by their new family member, hissing no smacking the puppy on the nose when got to close to her. Lance was now curled up on the sofa with Blue in his lap, while Keith was laying on the floor, playing with his puppy. Through Curtis they’d been told the others were in Platt watching a movie, which gave Lance and Keith pretty much the whole house to themselves... if you ignored the other two hunters. Scratching Blue’s head, he was off in his own world. He’d had sex with Keith and now he couldn’t stop thinking about the next time... And the fact his heat had been weird. He’d had too much brain power. His heat had been weird. It’d edged in, taken some of the edge off, but not stripped away his inhibitions. He’d felt the start of need, then the loss of Keith’s fingers... but he’d been amazingly clear headed and it was weird. He hadn’t blurted out the things he wanted Keith to do to him... and he hadn’t lost control... his ego hadn’t come into it.

Sitting down beside him, Keith drew him back of out his thoughts, as did Blue clawing him in her rush to escape the puppy in his boyfriend’s lap

“Are you okay? It seemed pretty hard on your body”

Keith had asked thing in the shower. In the bedroom as he tried to pester him into accepting help drying and dressing. In the kitchen... and now again. The shower had been nice, Keith washed his hair for him, and his legs, and his arse... and held him when Lance couldn’t be bothered getting out the shower. He wasn’t even that sore anymore, just throbby... and dying for snuggles with his boyfriend. Snuggles because his boyfriend wanted to, not because he felt he’d broken Lance’s arse.

Sometimes you just have to cuddle the man yourself. Drawing his legs up, Lance wrapped his arm around Keith, resting his head against his boyfriend’s shoulder

“I’m okay. I was just thinking about how weird it was”

“You... didn’t like it?”

Using his right hand, Lance let their new puppy chew at his fingertips, wanting to bond with the little pup, and the comfort that having a pet brought

“It isn’t that. My body was weird. It was like my heat was there, but it wasn’t there and it felt calmer. Like I could focus on you and wasn’t all foggy, but it was still there. I don’t know if I’m making sense. It was weird. But you weren’t what made it weird”

“Is that why you didn’t come?”

“No. I’ve been pretty much all about “exit only” down there. I’m already thinking about the next time”

Keith kissed his hair

“As long as you’re okay”

“I was okay in the bathroom, I was okay getting dressed, I’ve been okay sitting on the sofa patting Blue. I’m okay, babe. I might just hit you in the dick if you ask again”

“I thought maybe it... it wasn’t special enough”

Nuzzling Keith’s shoulder, Lance felt all silly with love again

“I think I liked being here better than any rich hotel room. Figuring out things with you, when we’re in a safe place, that’s all I could ask for”

“I’ll do better next time”

“It’s not something you have to get better at. It’s something that’ll get better as we work out what we both like”

“It still looked like it hurt”

“Well, little Keith is pretty manly... I’m still really confused about my heat”

“Do you think that’s why Coran suggested something physical like that because it keeps to clear headed?”

“I don’t know. I don’t even know how to explain it to you. But I’m glad I could focus on you. Without my body being stupid”

“It’s you’re head that’s stupid, not your body”

“Did you just call me a “Stupid Head”?”

“Maybe”

Hit by an infamous boyfriend burn, Lance pouted, faking his hurt tone

“Babe, I’m wounded. Absolutely wounded. How could you say that in front of our fur son?”

Keith smiled at the puppy affectionately

“It’s not my fault he’s got big ears”

The puppy cocked his head. Playing with Keith had worn him out, his tail flicking lazily as he huffed and dropped his head back down again

“You’re going to give him a complex. Baby boy, your ears are perfect”

“He is kind of perfect. Thank you...”

Lance hummed happily. For the first time since his Mami got sick, he was actually truly happy and it was all thanks to Keith

“You’re welcome. Now where’s my pizza, Shiro and Curtis are taking forever”

#once bitten twice stupid #oncebittentwicestupid

[the-fiction-witch]

NSFW 100 : Whitey Winn

1. What's the dirtiest thought you've ever had about a total stranger?

Uuuhhh I don't really think about stranger's.

2. Do you prefer sex at night, in the morning, mid-afternoon, or NOW?

Now is good. All times are good none better then the other. But I do like mornin's before y/ns properly awake shes so much louder when she's sleepy.

3. What's your favourite way to be seduced?

I like when y/n starts hintin' it's so cute because she starts blushin' and gettin' all embarrassed for askin'

4. What's the dirtiest fantasy you've had at work?

Ummmm... well did Imagine handcuffin' my little darlin'to the bars and stripping her naked leavin' her there all day so I could come back and fuck her whenever I wanted

5. How would you dominate your boss sexually if given the chance?

Noooo... I do not want to do that!

6. What do you do when you get horny in public?

Go jerk off. Or hide in the office till it goes down, or call y/n over.

7. Have you ever masturbated in a public bathroom?

No that's disgustin'. My house or the river that's it... or outside y/ns window before we where married.

8. What's the weirdest thing you've thought about while touching yourself?

I don't really think of odd thin's I kinda just imaginin' y/n,

9. What's the strangest prop you've used to get yourself off?

A Sponge... I was in the tub and I maybe have uhh tried to see what it felt like, it didn't feel that good but I got off so I was happy.

10. Do you remember the first time you felt aroused?

Not really I remember the first time I kinda felt with being horny but it happened so often I just kinda ignored it until I jerked off for the first time.

11. Who gave you your first orgasm?

I did I was curious so I did and I've been a dirty little pervy boy ever since.

12. Do you remember what that first orgasm felt like?

Ohh I remember it like it was yesterday, it felt so good so amazin' I can't describe it and that was with my own hand I can't even begin to explain the amazin' waves of pleasure from her hand, her mouth, her pussy the first times I ever got those.

13. Have you ever had sex with someone whose name you never knew?

Nope that seems like a werid thing to do.

14. What's your favourite thing about a quickie?

The gratification. And if course gettin' to secretly ruin my darlin'

15. What the most sexually daring thing you've ever done?

Lettin' y/n lock me up. And lettin' her do whatever she wanted to me. I was a little worried but my God it was fun.

16. Have you ever fantasized about fucking one of your teachers?

Noooo the teacher in la belle before his dunn was.... Not good.

17. Do you ever mentally strip strangers just for kicks?

Not strangers just y/n.

18. And then imagine, in dirty detail, what it would be like to fuck them?

Of course I do, I can't help thinkin' of fuckin' her every time I see her.

19. Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex?

No. And as the options in la belle are the drygoods man, the funeral director, the bar keep, or bill... I do not want to.

20. What inspires you to make the first move?

Hormones mostly. But y/n made the first move with us just sittin' down the river and she nuzzled into my neck and gave my cheek a little kiss so I kinda have her lips a little kiss back and now she's my wife.

21. In your opinion, what does it mean to be good in bed?

To make your partner happy.

22. Have you ever cheated on a boyfriend or girlfriend because you just couldn't help yourself?

No! Anyone who has I will personally shot your dick off ya don't deserve a beautiful woman if ya can't 'help yourself'. I have the most beautiful, intelligent, sexy woman in the world that I love very dearly why would I ever want anyone else much less betray her trust and cheat on her she's my wife why would I do that?

23. Have you ever pushed the boundaries of fidelity to the brink and then retreated just for the rush?

What! No? Who has? That's a dickhole thin' to do to someone especially someone ya love? Why would ya do that?

24. Do you have a go-to masturbation fantasy?

Just imaginin' my sexy little darlin' strippin' for me and rubbin' soapy bubbles all over her sluttyy body.

25. What kind of porn turns you on?

Lookin' at y/n. That's all that make me hard

26. Have you ever had sex with your eyes closed?

Not on purpose sometimes they shut when I feel good?

27. Have you ever blindfolded or handcuffed your partner?

Many times I like handcuffs not so much blindfoldin'

28. Does naughty talk get you aroused?

Depends what's bein' said I think I like sayin' it more then listenin' to it.

29. Are you sure about that, my dirty little forest nymph of a sex goddess?

Humm... I'm sure my sexy little darlin', but if ya wanted to try I don't mind sittin" with ya lettin' ya try and talk dirty too me? Maybe I'll slap ya sexy ass when you've gone wrong and I'd ya get me hard enough ya can jump on my cock for a while?

30. What's the dirtiest thing someone's ever said to you during sex?

"Whitey I want you to cum so deep inside me that you get me pregnant"

I think it's sexy as hell but also kinda frightin', to be fair I did edge her for an hour so it was expected she'd go a little crazy.

31. Have you ever watched another couple get it on without them knowing?

No... why does this stuff?

32. Have you ever watched another couple have sex with their permission?

No and I don't ever want to

33. How would you respond if a couple approached you to be their "third"?

What kinda couple? Because if it's two girls then... maybe. But I don't know Id think about it, depends who it was

34. What's the most flattering thing someone's said about your naked body?

"Uuummm it's so sexy and big I don't ever want you do not be inside me"

I am very proud of myself that she said that to me.

35. When's the last time you had a vivid sex dream?

I don't get sexy dreams that much I think about sex durin' the day like sexy say dreams but never at night.

36. What do you think an orgy would be like?

I imagine very fun atleast for me just bein' able to torcher as many people as I wanted but I think I'd rather just snuggle with y/n after all she knows what I like.

37. Have you ever propositioned a total stranger?

No, why would I do that.

38. What does your ideal one-night stand look like?

Some good forplay, some nice kinky sex and a cuddle in the mornin'.

39. How long does it take you to get yourself off, on average?

Mostly it's fourty five minutes but it depends on what's bein' done for example a blowjob I'm done in like five minutes.

40. What's the weirdest thing that turns you on?

The weirdest? I guess baths? They make me hard.

41. Have you ever had a naughty dream about a close friend or family member?

I did about y/n before we got together. And maybe a couple times about louise but that was before y/n.

42. Have you ever woken up humping your pillow?

No, not my pillow I've woken up humpin' y/n but I can't help that.

43. When's the last time you orgasmed in your sleep?

In my sleep? I don't think I've ever done that? Maybe I jerk off too much?

44. What's the most embarrassing thing that's happened to you while hooking up?

The incident. Okay we kinda where foolin' around in the office one night and I let her handcuff me inside the cell and then uhh... bill came in while we where naked and we couldn't find the key.

45. Do you like touching yourself in front of the people you sleep with?

Not really, because why would I be doin' it in front of her surely if she's there we should just have sex? But if she wanted to watch I wouldn't tell my darlin' no.

46. What's the dirtiest text you've ever sent or received?

I hate not. I got a note that said go to her house she was waitin' does that count?

47. Do you prefer professional or amateur porn?

Uuuh... I guess lookin' thought y/n's window while she's havin' a bath is kinda amateur porn?

48. What's your favourite blowjob technique?

I don't really care, it's a blowjob in happy just be receivin' one at all.

49. If you had to pick, would you be a dominatrix or a submissive?

Uhhh dominate I guess, I kinda switch but Dom if I had to choose

50. Is there anything you won't do in bed?

Nothin' that's goin' to hurt like spankin' is one thing but I'm not goin' to like slap her face or choak her

51. What's your dirtiest sexual fantasy?

Ummm comin' home from work to see my little y/n all dressed up for me in her undergarments, her runnin' me a hot bath and scrubbin' all over me with her soft hands then givin' in and climbin' in with me

52. How many people have you slept with?

Uuuuuuuuuuhhhhh... one I think. Yeah I never did anythin' with Louise so one and that's y/n.

53. Where's the weirdest place you've had sex?

On my horse.

54. What's your favourite part of Y/n's body?

Her legs or more specifically her thighs I don't know why I just think there sexy especially when I'm runnin' my hands all over them.

55. Have you ever had anal sex?

Yes, but I didn't enjoy it all that much and I know y/n didn't either.

56. If you could choose what Y/n was wearing right now, what would you choose?

Oooohh well nothin'.

But if I had to choose her a beautiful outfit I would probably pick, those thick ridin' boots with her fishnet stockin' then her big brown skirt with the huge slit and her little shite shirt that has the lace all the way across and shoes off her chest and shoulders.

57. Where on your body is your favourite place to be touched?

Well... my cock of course I like when my darlin' decides to start touching me but also hair I like her playin' with my hair while we snuggle

58. If you could have sex anywhere in the world, where would it be?

In our bed I think. Or in the river.

59. When did you first had sex?

The first time was actually in the office bent over the desk one night we got a little drunk

60. What's the best sex you've ever had?

Our weddin' night, by God I was exhausted but it was all soooo good.

61. What's your favourite position?

Bent over!! Just bend her over the nearest thin' and get goin'

62. Have you ever been caught having sex?

Yeah bill caught us in the office a few times, Maggie has many many times, some guy caught us down the river Last week but I kinda like the idea someone could see us they could watch us havin' amazin' sex watch her sexy naked body scream for me as she cums make sure the world knows shes my little darlin'

63. Do you watch porn?

I do... some would call it peepin'.

64. What kind of porn do you watch?

Window

65. How often do you masturbate?

One a week I'd say now I have my darlin' but before I was fuckin' her on the regular I was like six times a day.

66. Name a sex position you'd like to try?

I would like to try on the side even though it seems complicated

67. Do you prefer to give or receive?

I love receivin' but I gave a very good girl who gives it to me

68. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

So many times, she looks so good climbin' out the water naked I'd skinny dip with y/n everyday if it weren't so dam cold in there.

69. What's the most sex you've had in a day?

I have up countin' all I know is I couldn't cum for a four days after this day but to be fair it was our weddin' after all

70. Are you loud or quiet during sex?

Loud! I want her to squeal, scream, be' for me, and I want her to force the noise of off me I don't care if la belle hears us I wanna destroy her with all of them listenin'

71. Have you ever tried using food during foreplay?

We tried honey once...it didn't go well. So dam sticky.

72. What's the first thing that sexually attracts you to someone?

How much skin there showin', how much leg, how much of the breasts, luckily if I wanna see any I just rip y/ns dress off her

73. Would you say you have any fetishes?

I like restrainin' to the extent sometimes she doesn't even want it when I start but I'll just handcuff her or make it so she has no escape and fuck her till she agrees she won't deny me again and she'll bend over wherever I want her too

74. When it comes to BDSM, how far have you gone/would go?

I would go all the way If my little darlin' let me but so far just teasin', tiein' up Maybe a little torcher

75. What's your favourite toy?

Hummmm? Well my favorite of course is my little darlin' but to use on her? Umm I love handcuffs I love cuffin' her to our bed she she can't try and run away from me and all the things I'm gonna do to her

76. Do you ever read erotic fiction?

No... I like those post cards the miners used it get with the ladies in there underwear?

77. Have you joined the mile high club?

No but I would be thrilled to.

78. Do you think you could take off Y/n underwear with no hands?

I bet a hundred dollars I could, and I would enjoy every moment of tryin'

79. Would you say you're kinky?

I would say I am? Some would probably argue and say I'm just a dirty bastard?

80. Do you enjoy shower sex?

We do not have showers? We have baths? I do like bath sex just an extra excuse to get y/n naked

81. Where's the weirdest place you've ever masturbated?

Down by the river I guess... maybe the woods?

82. Do you like to be spanked?

I do not. However I'm not apposed to givin' my darlin' a spankin' if she's been a naughty girl.

83. Have you ever fantasised about someone else during sex?

No, why would I need to fantasie when I have a sexy little darlin' bouncin' on my cock?

84. If y/n caught you masturbating, would you stop or would you finish?

I'd sit there and keep jerking while I looked at her maybe ask her to take her pretty dress off? Or maybe pull her to sit on my lap and deal with it for me either way I'd finish.

85. Have you ever had an inappropriate crush?

Uuuuhhh... I don't think so.

86. Have you ever cried or fallen asleep during sex?

No, my eyes watered once... when I had just had my fourth orgasm In a row when we where playin' torcher does that count?

87. Do you prefer eye contact or not during sex?

I'm not that bothered I'm not I to it but I don't mind either way, I do like when my little darlin' makes eye contact when she's suckin' on me especially if she makes that innocent little gave she does...ummm it makes me wanna fuck her pretty little mouth.

88. Do you like to kiss during sex?

There is a time for kisses durrin' sex when ya gettin' heated up or when ya coolin' down but once ya inside it's no time for slow little kisses

89. Do you get tired after sex?

It depends what we did if I just spend and hour roughly havin' sex then yeah I might get a little tried but usually orgasms just make me wanna cuddle someone

90. How many positions do you think you've tried?

All of them! I think maybe we've missed like one or two but I doubt anymore then that.

91. What's the longest you've ever gone without sex?

On week. And I only did that because y/n was havin' her womanly time. It doesn't bother me I was happy to continue as normal but she said no so one week and I don't indent tryin' any longer then that.

92. How high is your sex drive?

Do I really need to answer this or does ^ and ↓ answer question?

But pretty high.

93. What's a surefire way to turn you on?

Look at me. Suggest sex. Take off ya clothes? I guess

94. Sex with lights on or lights off?

On, why would I wanna miss a moment of the sexy lady takin' her clothes off for me? And lettin' me inside her? No lights on I wanna watch my cock slippin' in and out of ya drippin' pussy darlin'

95. Do you like dirty talk?

You tell me darlin' ;)

96. Do you prefer one night stands or longer-term sexual partners?

I actually prefer lon' term. Ya can get much more used to a person what they like what you like and that makes overall just better sex

97. Do you prefer to be on top or bottom?

Depends on mood, and how lazy I feel that day if it's been a lon' day at the office maybe I'll be on the bottom, or if it's early and I can't be bothered to get up yet but other then that top so I can do whatever I want

98.Rough or romantic?

Rough, so we can have some dirty smutty times

99. Quickie or marathon session?

Quickie everyone's happy and satisfied, why go for hours when ya can rock each of for a few minutes and both be equally happy

100. What's the best thing about our sex life?  

The fact it's constant and amazing darlin' ya my pretty little wifey that I can make love to whenever I want it means so much more to me then just sex it's makin' love to ya my darlin' and maybe soon we can fool around that special way so we can plan for Jr.

[shadow13dickpistons]

(What was that old system I had for drabbles I put up here? God only knows, that was like.....five years ago. When I had energy to organize this hellblog)

@pharaoh-ink was lamenting finding good fic this evening, and was like, “Do I want to read this 44 chapter abuse fest for the.....maybe good angst and sex somewhere?” And I was like, “Fuck, man, I’ll bang on the keyboard right now, what do you want?”

And then she loved it so much she asked I post it, so here we are. Under the cut for sexy times (artistically done, though).

"A poor prize," and he smiled the way Thorin once smiled - with his eyes, and with his teeth, the sharp points catching the light. And he was gentle again, and Bilbo's heart felt lifted, like maybe things weren't so bad as they appeared. "Thorin - I wanted to talk to you about something-" But Dwalin called for him, and all the light left Thorin's eyes, and he was the king once more. Strange how distant that figure was, a stranger after all these months of travelling together. "Later," Thorin promised, or was it threatened?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Why are you so nervous?" Thorin was pulling him along the gangway to the throne, and Bilbo trembled. "You said you wanted to discuss something." "Yes, well, the middle of the night isn't what I had in mind." "There is no other time. I am beset upon at all sides, you see that." And he said it in that way, that, "Save me, Bilbo," way, where it was a conspiracy of just they two, and Bilbo followed him on stumbling feet, until the dwarf was seated in his throne, and Bilbo found himself on his lap. "Now," he said, but he wasted no time, and pressed his mouth (warm, warm, so utterly warm) against the hobbit's throat. "What is it you wanted to discuss...." "Th-Thorin...." His breath left him in a soft hush. He ought to pull away, he tried to - but his left hand was on the other's shoulder to balance, and suddenly his right was tangled in his hair, beneath that awful crown, and Bilbo's body was like lead except for how Thorin directed him, except for only that...."Someone will hear..." "Then we'd best be very quiet," he whispered in a hush against his skin, and brought Bilbo's mouth down against his own. And he was lost, just like the others, a mere subject at the hands of the king - but so much worse, too, because it wasn't the ruler, it was the man. Thorin's heavy hands unlaced his trousers, and slid against his skin, and Bilbo was weak, and it wouldn't have mattered if he was an emperor, or a travelling smith - it could only be this way, and only him. He told himself to pull away, to stop this insanity, and instead he leaned in to every touch, and sought out the other's mouth, and had to cover his lips with his palm to stifle the sounds Thorin drew from him. Slowly, easily, like water from a well. "I-" Thorin pulled his hands away from his mouth, replaced them with his tongue, and pressed one hand to his chest, and the other over his crotch, and it was like setting his nerves on fire. Bilbo scrambled for more, push more cloth away, reveal more skin and hair and muscle. Lay himself out for more strokes and more fingers and more pain and pleasure. He sank into the role that was always his, and his forehead was pressed against the dwarf's as they breathed together, and moved together, and lived together. "Thorin-" Any confession was swallowed up in his kiss, and instead became a whine of supplication and of need, until he was brought over, gasping, weak. He wrapped around Thorin and they tangled together, catching their breath. And what Bilbo noticed first how much more he wanted, as if the gold sickness could be passed on with a kiss. Kissing his hair and pressing his lips to his ear, Thorin asked, "What did you want to talk about?" "Nothing...." he gasped, wrapping himself deeper in that embrace. "It's nothing....Let's just sit here for a little while." He had to be rid of that stone. Or he would give Thorin everything he wanted.

#bagginshield #thilbo #bilbo x thorin #fic #fanfiction #shadow13 #shadow131 #gold sick thorin #the hobbit

[hystericalweenie]

Just Another Day at the Office Series - New Experiences

George MacKay x Reader Series

Part Three: Little Things

Masterlist

Summary: Y/f/n Y/l/n had found herself stuck in a scenario she’d never thought she’d ever have to face: she’d been catching feelings for a coworker. While she attempted to adapt to her new job and work load, she also had to get used to these new feelings and figure out what the fuck to do with them. George made her want to take risks, she didn’t care about the potentiality of a broken heart with him, because falling in love with him made it seem worth it. Is George falling for Y/n too? Will he be able to reciprocate her feelings?

a/n: I have absolutely no personal experience in magazine/journalism career, so the information in this fic will be provided with the knowledge I have conducted from research. With that being said, please don’t be mad if this is not accurate!!! Since you guys seemed to like the text messages between Y/n and George, I decided to include a chunk of them, since there weren’t any in the last part. 

Warnings: This is a slow burn fic, their relationship won’t happen in one night, so if you’re not into that, check out some of the beautifully written imagines that you can most likely find under the george mackayxreader tag. I might eventually write some of my own too :P At least one person’s saying “fuck” and there’s some sexual! tension! up! in! here! Digital penetration (fingering lolz)

12:36 am, George: I cannot stop thinking about you.

My stomach churned with butterflies, but I wouldn’t let him know.

12:38 am, Me: Creepy, much?

12:38 am, Me: Kiddingggg :P

12:40 am, George: Haha. Very funny. 

12:41 am, Me: Have you gone back to rehab to visit your friend?

12:43 am, George: Yes, Dean and I went yesterday after work. He’s not doing very well, but I know he’ll get better. Addiction is very scary.

12:44 am, Me: I can’t imagine. It must be hard seeing him so sick.

12:45 am, George: It is, but you’ve made all of this a lot easier for me to deal with. You make me forget about every single little flaw in life. 

12:47 am, Me: Then I guess I’m doing my job. 

12:48 am, George: You distract me too much sometimes, especially after last night. 

12:49 am, Me: Really? Huh, I wonder why, that’s weird.

12:51 am, George: *insert eye roll*

12:52 am, Me: It’s time to get emojis, old man.

12:53 am, George: Nah

12:53 am, George: Unless you want to show me how to install them this weekend?

12:55 am, Me: Sounds like a plan, grandpa

12:56 am, George: You must be into older guys then, huh?

12:58 am, Me: Yup, I have a bingo kink

12:59 am, George: Gross. 

12:59 am, George: I’m not thaaat old, I’m only 27.

I was twenty-four. Was that weird? Would he think that’s weird?

1:00 am, Me: When’s your birthday?

1:02 am, George: Next week, actually. March 13th.

1:03 am, Me: You doing anything to celebrate?

1:05 am, George: Eh, probably not. Dean and I might go to a bar or something, that’s what we’ve done in the past.

1:05 am, George: You’re welcome to come along if that’s the plan.

1:07 am, Me: I’d like that a lot, actually. I won’t get plastered this time, I promise.

1:08 am, George: Mhhhmmm.

1:08 am, George: It’s getting late, you should go to bed love

There it was, again. Love. I melted in my bed.

1:09 am, Me: You’re the one texting me!

1:10 am, George: You don’t haave to respond. 

1:12 am, Me: But I want to.

1:13 am, George: See, there’s the problem.

1:14 am, Me: Is it a problem?

1:16 am, George: Yes, because I’m making you lose sleep.

1:17 am, Me: I don’t mind.

1:18 am, George: You’re making this harder for me, Y/n.

1:20 am, Me: Fine. I’m going to sleep.

1:21 am, George: *insert me sticking my tongue out*

1:22 am, George: Good. Goodnight, love.

I woke up the next morning with dark rings underneath my eyes, but they were well worth it due to our conversation; I’d found out that George was twenty-seven years old and his birthday was on March thirteenth, making him turn twenty-eight the following week. I wondered if our slight age difference would make things weird, I hoped it wouldn’t. 

I went to work that morning with extra concealer on my face, and a sleek black pencil skirt with a dainty blouse. I rolled through New York traffic, waved at the receptionist once I’d arrived at the building, and made my way to the second floor with the not-so-speedy elevator. I welcomed my desk, waving at silently at Dean before stretching my hands and typing my results from the experiment. 

The CBD oil experiment had gone pretty well; I used it only temples after coming home from work with a headache and I’d definitely noticed a difference. I spent the entire morning rewriting everything over and over again, wanting to perfect my first article and impress the HBIC that Connie was. 

When lunch had rolled around, I decided to head to the small cafeteria to see what they had in store for me that afternoon, hoping it’d give me some energy to finish writing the article. I decided to go with my regular salad, picking out the toppings, as I heard footsteps behind me. I turned around noticing the presence of Faith, the small ginger haired girl I’d met on my first day. I smiled at her, before returning back to my salad. 

“I meant to tell you before, but your idea for your experiment is really good, I’m kind of shocked at how well your first pitch is, actually,” she admitted with a smile as she opened some cabinets, scavenging for food.

I blushed at her compliment, turning my face to look at her.

“Thanks, Faith, that means a lot coming from you,” I beamed at her. “Your article of your interview with that producer from The Bachelor was amazing!”

I saw her cheeks tint pink as she turned her body to me after finding a small bag of chips.

“Really? You couldn’t tell that I was nervous during the interview?” she asked worriedly, her thin, groomed eyebrows knitting together anxiously.

I shook my head. “Not at all! It was perfect.”

She chewed on her lip before smiling at me.

“Thanks, uhm, maybe we could work on something together sometime? After the article you’re working on right now, of course,” she suggested. 

I grinned at the girl.

“Of course!”

“Okay! I’ll see you around, Y/n.” She exited the room with a soft smile, and left me to finish my salad. 

I was glad to have finally made a girl friend, especially someone who could potentially help me with my writing. I finished my salad-making, returning to my desk and immediately conversing with Dean.

“So,” I began, shoveling the lettuce into my mouth. “Any new office drama we can talk about while we’re on lunch?” 

The people that usually sat beside us had gone off to some restaurant down the block from the office, leaving Dean and I by ourselves at the table.

“George heard two people goin’ at it in one of the conference rooms earlier,” Dean shared with a laugh, his blue eyes softening in humor.

Hearing him mention George made me wonder if George had told Dean about me. I brushed this thought off, knowing it’d result in unnecessary anxiety.

“Do people usually have sex in the office?” I asked, lowering my voice.

He shrugged.

“Sometimes, I guess, but George works on the third floor with the most empty offices, so he hears about it more than me, I’m sure.”

I shoveled more salad into my mouth, as I pondered what it’d be like having sex at the office. Having sex on one of the empty conference tables and risking someone coming in or hearing, or doing it on a desk after everyone’s gone, the building empty and the bright lights of New York lighting up the office through the windows; my legs were quivering at the memory of George’s tongue and imagining how he could fuck me at the office. It’d be so scandalous, so risky, but why did I like thinking about it?

“Y/n?”

I brought my head up to the brunette, observing his confused expression.

“What?” 

“I asked how the article’s going,” he repeated.

Shit, did I space out that bad?

“Oh, it’s going well,” I stammered. 

“Don’t be nervous about it, I’m sure Connie’s going to love it,” he reassured me, his expressions softening with concern.

I was not just spacing out due to anxiety from the article, but I led him to believe so because I was sure as hell not going to tell what I was really thinking about.

“You’re right,” I agreed.

I shoveled the last of the lettuce into my mouth, the fork lingering in my mouth as I thought of George’s lips; I missed the taste of him. 

I wondered where his office was; I wanted needed to see him. I needed to feel his lips against mine, I needed to feel his hands explore my body, I needed something to relieve the aching between my legs. 

“I’ll be back, I’m going to go to the bathroom,” I announced, grabbing my phone and quickly exiting the office. 

I scurried into the elevator, pressing the third floor button and opening my front camera on my phone to perfect my appearance. I ran my fingers through my hair, teasing my roots to make my locks look tousled and sexy. As the elevator stilled, the doors opened, and I headed down the hallway, hoping for a sign that had George’s name on it for navigation. There was an open room with tables of desks like my floor, but it was much smaller, revealing the small amount of people in the art department.

It led to a hallway with several rooms on each side, as I slowly walked down and turned my head to each door in hopes of seeing his name or his face somewhere. I was finally introduced to a wooden door with “George MacKay” written on it. My cheeks flushed, and I knocked on the door with my knuckles. I heard footsteps as my heart raced, his door swinging open and revealing his face. 

His hair was in perfect form, his locks styled effortlessly while he was dressed in a light blue button up and slacks, his blue shirt making his eyes look even lighter. His shirt fit his torso just right and his sleeves were rolled up, revealing the veins that trickled up his arms. I licked my lips at the sight of him, as he fisted my shirt and pulled me inside of his office, kicking his door closed.

“I have to say, this is the best surprise I’ve gotten in a while,” he muttered, his eyes looking me up and down. 

His hands wrapped around my waist, going to my lower back as his face inched towards mine. I felt his warm minty breath welcome me, already relieving my craving for him. I moved my nose to gently nudge his, before my lips attacked him. I couldn’t hold back anymore; George took away any self control I'd had in the past. 

My hands went to cup his face before snaking around his neck. I felt his hands travel down to my ass, squeezing it, causing me to moan into his lips. I pulled on his hair instinctively, slipping my tongue into his mouth. He began walking, making me walk backwards until my back hit the desk. I pulled away, as I sat myself on it without thinking, scrunching my skirt up to my waist so that my legs could open for him to stand in between them. He stood himself between my legs once I’d given him access, staring at me momentarily. His cheeks were flushed and his lips were swollen as he stared intently at me.

“What do you want to do, Y/n?”

I chewed on my lip. There was no way in hell that George and I’s first time would be at my work. But, I needed a relief; the ache between my legs was too much, almost painful at this point. 

“Can you make me feel good?” I whimpered confidently, my fingers threading through his locks as we looked at each other.

His eyebrows furrowed and he nodded, his cheeks turning pink at my request. 

“How do you want me to make you feel good, love?” he asked, his hand coming up to cup my face. 

He slipped his thumb between my lips, surprising me. Without thinking, I swirled my tongue around his finger and gently sucked on it. His eye lids drooped as he watched me in awe, probably imagining my mouth on his cock. I opened my mouth as he removed his thumb and I looked at him innocently. 

“Your fingers, George. Please,” I begged.

Still gazing at me, he lowered his hand, pushing my panties to the side with his index finger. 

“Your wish is my command,” he whispered, the pad of his thumb running down straight to my clit.

My hips bucked at the action, and he attached his lips to mine to swallow all of my moans. He rubbed circles on the sensitive bud before running his finger through my folds. My fingers knitted themselves into his hair as he teased my entrance, driving me absolutely insane. His finger slid into me easily due to how wet I was, how wet he had made me. He pulled his lips away from me, using his free hand to insert a finger into my mouth. I sucked on it, as I tried not to let any moans escape my mouth while he attached his lips to my neck. His thumb began picking up its pace, his finger curling into me faster. I gently nibbled on his fingers as my stomach began to twist, my legs sticking straight outward and trembling. The delicious pleasure was building and building, and I wasn’t sure how long I could last. 

“You gonna cum, angel?” 

Angel.

I cried out against his finger with a closed mouth, hitting my climax as I came undone onto his fingers. My jaw went slack as I rode out my high, fingers threading themselves and pulling on his hair for dear life. My body spasmed against him, overwhelmed with pleasure. Once my legs finally relaxed, he slowly removed his fingers from my heat, and latched his digits into his mouth. He hummed, sucking me off of his fingers as I watched him in awe. He removed his fingers from his mouth, before grabbing some tissues off of his desk.

“I’m gonna clean you up, okay, love?” He informed me, looking at me for permission.

I nodded, watching as he got onto his knees and began gently wiping my pussy with the tissues. My breath hitched at the contact, sensitive after my climax. I watched him as he looked intently at my heat, concentrating, as he strategically cleaned where I’d been dripping. 

“I wish I could’ve cleaned you up with my mouth, love, I hope you know that,” he admitted, looking up at me. 

I whimpered, looking down at him as he gazed at me with innocent blue eyes.

He pressed his lips against each side of my inner thigh, before standing up and tossing the tissues into his trash can. He returned between my legs, moving his palms to cup each side of my face.

“Y/f/n Y/l/n, you’re going to be the death of me,” he confessed with a chuckle. 

“Rest in peace, George MacKay,” I joked. “Cause: Y/f/n Y/l/n being too sexy.”

“That's for damn sure,” he moved to peck my lips, his fingers pulling down the bunched up fabric of my skirt. I held onto his shoulders as I stood up, needing extra support for my weak legs. 

I flattened the skirt, adjusting my top as well. “How do I look?” I attempted to brush through my hair with my fingers.

“You look perfect,” he smiled, pecking my lips again. “I wish we could see each other after work this week, but I’m supposed to visit Andrew at the rehabilitation center with Dean until he starts improving.”

My eyebrows furrowed and I brought my hand to his bicep, ignoring how muscular it felt.

“It’s okay,” I reassured him. “You have to be there for your friends.”

He looked down at me, his expression softening as I watched him examine my features. 

“Thank you, Y/n,” he said softly, his eyes returning back to mine. “You’re one fucking amazing woman.” He grinned, crinkles appearing next to his eyes.

My cheeks flushed as I fought back the urge to melt straight into the floor; I felt like I could have passed out if I hadn’t forced myself to remain composed and on my two feet. 

“I’m not all that special,” I assured him. “I’d say I’m pretty much just an average millennial woman.”

He rolled his eyes. “But you’re not,” he argued. “You’re so fucking intelligent and determined, it truly baffles me. Most adults go into work, because they have to; you come into work everyday, prepared to blow everybody’s fucking minds, no matter what it takes.”

He brought his hand up to his face, the pad of his thumb stroking my bottom lip. “You have these little quirks, like, you chew on your bottom lip whenever you’re nervous or focusing on something.” He poked my cheek with his finger, causing me to smile. “You have these adorable little dimples.” He tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. “You roll your eyes all the time, too, which could get you in trouble one of these days, love.”

I fought the urge to roll my eyes, not wanting to prove him right. I shook my head instead.

“You’re stubborn too,” he added, noticing my expression. “But, I think you’re the most kind and forgiving woman I’ve ever met; I don’t think I know someone who could forgive their roommate for the shit she’s done to you,” he admitted. “But you want to see the good in every person.”

My eyebrows furrowed at the accuracy of his observations.

“How do you know all of this?” I interrogated, my eyes squinting in suspicion.

He smiled softly. “I notice all of the little things about you, love. They’re hard to miss when I’m with you.”

I bit back my giddy smile. “I notice a lot of the little things about you, too, George.”

He stepped closer to me. “Like what?” he chided with a smirk.

I brought my fingers to the sides of his eyes–careful enough not to touch his bruised eye–mimicking his previous actions. “The crinkles by your eyes whenever you smile or laugh.” I moved my finger to his nose, gently running along the bridge of it. “The way your nostrils flare whenever you’re concentrated or confused.” I poked the small freckles that were sprinkled along his nose. “These adorable freckles.” I could see him blush under my touch. My fingers went up to trace his right eyebrow. “Your eyebrows furrow whenever you’re focused on something.” My fingers moved down to his arm, tracing the veins. “The way your veins travel from the backs of your hands to your forearms.”

My palm moved back up to his face, cupping his cheek as I stared into his blue piercing eyes that gazed back at me.

“You’re incredibly loyal, and as much as you may not want to admit it, you’re hardworking and you love your job.” I stroked the small freckles along his cheek with my thumb. “I notice all of the little things about you, too. They’re hard to miss whenever I’m with you,” I rephrased his words sincerely with a whisper. 

I watched his Adam’s apple rise and fall, as he gulped and stared at me with an intense expression. 

“You’re everything I’ve ever wanted, Y/n.”

#george mackay #george mackay x reader #x reader #x reader fic #fanfic #1917 #1917 cast #dean charles chapman

[corpse-sex]

Do ALL 92 NSFW asks 🔥🔥

Oof! Okay 😅

1. When did you lose your virginity?

When I was 18

2. Rough sex or soft sex?

Definitely rough sex 💁🏻‍♀️

3. Do you have any unusual kinks/fetishes?

I don’t actually think I do tbh

4. Weirdest place you’ve had sex?

Probably up a mountain road in the car, it was super foggy and creepy

5. Favourite sex position?

Probably doggy or cowgirl 🤠

6. Do you like to be dominant or submissive?

90% of the time submissive but I don’t mind trying to switch it up sometimes

7. Have you ever had any one night stands?

Can’t say that I have nope

8. Sex on the bed, couch or the floor?

Bed for sure, like I don’t mind spontaneous places sometimes but ya gal likes to be comfortable!

9. Have you ever had sex in a public place?

Yaaasssss 😈

10. Have you ever been caught masturbating?

Nope

11. What does your favourite sexy underwear look like?

Black, lace, mostly see through, quite plain tbh but still looks nice

12. How often do you have sex?

Usually most days/nights but when I’m on night shift, not so much cause all I do is sleep 😂

13. Is there anybody right now you’d like to have sex with?

Always wanna have sex with my fiancé 😏

14. Do you prefer giving or receiving oral sex?

I’m a people pleaser so I love giving oral sex but honestly my man is that good it’s a tough decision 🤤

15. Most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you during sex?

Not sure anything overly embarrassing has happened -during- sex but I have had someone else’s parents walk in right after while we were still naked

16. A song you’d listen to during hard/rough/kinky sex?

Putting it out there that I’ve never actually had music on when I’ve had sex like what are people’s thoughts on that? I feel like I’d be too focused on the song and just start singing along 😂

17. A song you’d listen to during soft/slow/passionate sex?

^^^

18. Are you into dressing up for sex?

For sure!

19. Would you prefer sex in the bath or in the shower?

Definitely the shower, my other half is 6ft 3 so the bath really would not work for us 😅

20. If you could have sex with anyone right now who would it be?

Well I’m rewatching Supernatural for the millionth time so I’ll say Jensen Ackles 😂

21. Have you ever had a threesome? If not, would you?

I never have and I don’t think I’d be into it tbh I’m waaay to jealous and would not like to share

22. Do you/would you use sex toys?

I actually haven’t, I know people who have and they seem to love them so I don’t know if I’m missing out?

23. Have you ever sent someone a dirty text/picture?

Definitely! For the first year or so of my relationship we lived in different countries so it was kind of necessary

24. Would you have sex with your best friend?

I love my best friend and they’re hella attractive but I would never want to ruin it and lose them for any reason so probs not ❤️

25. Is there anything you do after sex? (For example, smoke, eat, drink?)

Uaully get a drink, sometimes it can be a couple of hours 😂

26. Something that will never fail to get you horny?

Back massages! My partner straddles my bum and he always gets horny and then I do too

27. Early morning sex or late night sex?

Any time of day sex!!!

28. Favourite body part on the opposite sex?

That cute lil butt!

29. Favourite part on the same sex?

Also butt!!!!

30. Something that you’ve hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find?

I’ve hidden weed and edibles in my room cause although my fiancé is cool with me smoking etc he just doesn’t want it in our house (it’s not legal where we live)

31. Weirdest sexual act someone has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you?

I can’t think of anything I’ve found really weird or like out of the blue tbh

32. Have you ever tasted yourself? [if no would you?] [if yes, what did you think]

I have off my partners fingers, can’t say I’d order it at a restaurant like...don’t really know an appropriate response 😂

33. Is it ever okay to not use a condom?

I mean if you’re both tested and know you’re safe then I suppose but if you’re with someone new then I think it’s definitely safest to use condoms. We don’t, we’ve been together for 4 years and I take the pill but each to their own I suppose 💁🏻‍♀️

34. A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience?

Have used whipped cream before but it just ended in a sticky horrible mess so I’m not a big fan tbh

35. Worst possible time to get horny?

At a family gathering

36. Do you like it when your sexual partner moans?

Definitely! 🤤

37. How much fapping is too much fapping?

You can never have too much fapping 😂

38. Best sexual compliment you ever got?

My partner compliments me so much during sex so I don’t really know what to pick

39. Favourite foreplay activities?

Back massages, making out, neck kisses

40. What do you wear to bed?

Most of the time just a big tshirt but sometimes nothing

41. When was the first time you masturbated

I’m not really sure, I’ll say maybe when I was 15?

42. Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/videos of yourself?

Yup

43. Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside?

Yeah maybe like a year ago?

44. Have/would you ever have sex in public?

Yaaaaas

45. Have/would you ever have a threesome?

Same question as Q21 ^

46. What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?

Hmm maybe just a bunched up blanket? Can’t really think of anything else

47. Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? Why/why not?

I don’t really watch a lot of porn but I have watched both gay and lesbian, I find males, females, trans and non binary people attractive so why not?

48. Do you like oral sex?

Love it!

49. How do you feel about tattoos on someone you’re insterested in?

Love tattoos!

50. How would you feel about taking someone’s virginity?

Totally fine I suppose 💁🏻‍♀️

51. Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?

Whipped cream ^^^

52. Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?

I think probably a prostitute

53. Do you watch porn?

Not that often

54. Have you ever been called a freak? Why?

I mean probably at some point in my life, I’m into weird movies and tv shows and my personality is a bit wacky. But not sexually

55. Do you feel comfortable going “commando”?

Definitely, I do most days juts lounging around the house 😂

56. Would you have a problem going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair?

Not at all, if they want to be au naturel that’s their choice and I have no problem with it

57. If you could give yourself head, would you?

Sounds like too much work to me, would rather just lie back and enjoy it being done by someone else

58. Booty or boobs?

Booty for sure!

59. Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)

I have not

60. If you were the other sex for a day, what are five things you would do?

Fuck someone, walk around outside with my shirt off, fuck someone, helicopter dick and fuck someone 😂

61. Have you ever watched someone masturbate

Yup

62. Has anyone ever watched you masturbate

Yup

63. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed?

I have a vagina so nope

64. What is your method of masturbation? (ie toys, clitoral, prostate?)

Mostly clitoral with some penatrative thrown in

65. What is your bra/penis size?

36G (•Y•)

66. What is the strangest thing you’ve ever put up your vagina/anus

Nothing strange or exciting, just dick

67. When was the last time you masturbated?

A few days ago

68. When was the last time you had sex?

Earlier today

69. When was the last time you watched porn?

A few weeks ago maybe?

70. Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last? First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do?

I don’t have any and have never used any but I suppose if I ever did I’d start with a clit vibrator

71. Guys: circumcised?

Not sure if this question is asking is my penis circumcised or if I prefer a guy to be circumcised? I don’t have a penis but I’ve been with both and definitely would say I prefer circumcised. Think I got lucky with my fiancé cause I don’t think it’s that common where we live

72. Which non-genital part of your body do you like being touched?

Back

73. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched?

I mean, like all of them? 😂💁🏻‍♀️

74. Girls: are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation?

Definitely 😅😩🤤

75. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr?

I haven’t, up until like two weeks ago I didn’t even know how to ask anonymously on here, my bestie had to explain it to me even tho I’ve had this account for years 😂

76. When was the last time you had a wet dream?

Honestly not even sure if I’ve had one!

77. Which wet dream was your favourite?

^^^

78. Is there a friend you would willing have sex with?

I have like 2 friends total 😂 but like I said before, although they are attractive and I love them probably not because I wouldn’t want to ruin things plus I’m happy with my fiancé

79. Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with?

I know it’s hella weird but I’ve always had a thing for Jack Nicholson 😂 I would just to say I had

80. Favourite sexual position?

Same as a previous question ^^^

81. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed?

Definitely, especially while he’s choking me

82. Are you into any BDSM

Probably only light BDSM but I’d try most things once

83. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldn’t for any reason? Why?

I don’t think so

84. So you like dirty talk

Feel like it’s a must 💁🏻‍♀️😈

85. Are you loud/quiet during sex? Masturbation?

I’d say quite loud yeah 😅

86. Have you ever been interrupted during sex/masturbation? Who/what?

Yeah, my other half came to visit me at uni and my house mate was banging on the door asking me to come help her take her high heels off cause she was drunk and couldn’t work the straps 🙄

87. What kind of porn do you like to watch?

Don’t watch a lot but I don’t really have anything I watch most, just normal stuff I suppose?

88. Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them?

Probably just my fiancé

89. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn’t there when you needed them?

Definitely, lived in different countries for a year, what else was I supposed to do? 😂

90. Have you ever had a one night stand? Do you still keep in contact with them?

Same as a previous question ^^^

91. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? Are they still beneficial?

Not sure they were even beneficial to begin wit tbh 🙄

Thanks so much for the ask, nobody ever sends asks so I suppose doing them all isn’t a bad thing 😂

#thanks for the ask! #ask me anything #ask me stuff #send me asks #anons wanted #send me anons #anons welcome #naughty #anons open

[gh0stbird]

Okay Now Do The Rest

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

Bright but argumentative. I was never afraid of pointing out things I didn’t feel were fair hfhddh

When we were learning numbers kids would often write 91 for nineteen, just flip them, y’know, and Ms. Potter yelled at the class for it. Baby Generiq went into it about how it was an understandable mix up because you do say the number first. In twenty-three you write the two first, so in nineteen it’s easy to assume you would write the nine first.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

Tired.

8. movies or tv shows?

TV shows. Every book adaptation should also be a series not a movie. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

9. favorite smell in the summer?

Honeysuckle and sunshine

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

Floor hockey! My friend and I used to be brutal and swing at each other’s shins going after the ball. Also it was reminiscent of golf, which I competed in.

12. name of your favorite playlist?

I have an untitled playlist I cycle my current music in and out of, but Newton’s Third Law is my favorite named one!

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

I don’t- I guess the yellow smarties. Don’t come for me they taste like lemonade.

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

I assume this means assigned book and not the reports we got to pick for ourselves. Ah, Night was good. Lord of the Flies was fine but way overhyped. Again, don’t come for me.

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

If I can tuck my legs into the chair I am sitting in that is ideal!

18. ideal weather?

When you know it is going to rain and you get to stay home

19. sleeping position? (Skipped on accident)

I reeeally like pressure, so either against something or on my stomach.

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Phone notes and a notebook! Sometimes a blank document but I always find it strangely intimidating

21. obsession from childhood?

Warrior Cats, Percy Jackson, and Maximum Ride were my big three!

22. role model?

Aa I try to straw from people I want to copy, but there are talents I look up to. Rachel Chavkin is a brilliant director, and there are so many artists and authors I look up to and who inspire me.

24. favorite crystal?

Obsidian because it’s black like my hea- I’m kidding, I do love obsidian, but it’s Rose Quartz because it’s a very very pretty, soft pink and makes me happy.

25. first song you remember hearing?

The mobile above my crib played Imagine by John Lennon. My childhood room was themed after it as well!

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Swim or sit in the sunshine. Ben and I usually go driving with the top down as well.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

Walking through fresh snow is amazing, so are snowball fights and building snowmen.

28. five songs to describe you?

Oh fuck yes

Hurricane - Hamilton

The Reckless and the Brave - All Time Low

Almost There - The Princess and the Frog

All This and Heaven Too - Florence + the Machine

Facade - Jekyll and Hyde: A Gothic Musical Thriller

30. places that you find sacred?

I don’t typically find places sacred, but certain headspaces are very special to me, and time spent with loved ones means more than enough to be considered sacred.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

A black blazer with a white button-down and a skirt.

32. top five favorite vines?

I am in Missouri (misery)

I love you, Bitch

I want a Church girl

Obama’s “I know because I won both of them”

I won’t hesitate, Bitch!

33. most used phrase in your phone?

“No worries”

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

That fucking PFI bandana boot sale I stg

35. average time you fall asleep?

Somewhere between 9:00 and three in the morning

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

Some girl doing bunny ears on her friend. I don’t remember what the caption was

38. lemonade or tea?

Both. Mixed together. It’s called an Arnold Palmer and it is my favorite drink

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

Lemon cake!

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

We duck taped out principal to the wall once. Also some kid broke their tray over another kid’s head at lunch one time.

41. last person you texted?

The family group chat, though Beau if Discord counts

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

I wear a lot of leggings so jacket pockets!

44. favorite scent for soap?

We had some Lily of the Valley hand soap that was amazing

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy, I think! I’ve never done super heavy into the other two. Though I definitely don’t want to ignore sci-fi because two of my favorite stories are a little science-fiction-y

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

A t-shirt and shorts

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

A banana. Generally accepted as a fruit and kind of just rolls with it, but is actually a berry

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

I fucking hate Hamilton-ing on main, but

“And when my prayers to god were met with indifference, I picked up a pen, I wrote my own deliverance!”

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

That changes every time Beau and I play HetaOni together, but I have fucking lost it for at least five minutes the last two sessions.

51. current stresses?

I dunno, man, life? My hair could use a wash

52. favorite font?

Covered by your Grace and I’m a big Spectral baby. These are both google docs! I don’t know if that makes a difference.

54. what did you learn from your first job?

Patience is important when teaching material, but never be afraid to find another approach better suited to the person you’re tutoring.

55. favorite fairy tale?

Robin Hood!

56. favorite tradition?

My family does homemade Springfield cashew chicken for Christmas!

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

Uhh lots of self-acceptance shit no one really wants to read

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

I can pop the joint at the center of my foot

That’s all

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

I sort of like my role as mom friend, so maybe I could keep that role in a sort of action-based anime that followed a group of friends

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

“I am not the protégé to waste your time on; I'm complete!” Jekyll and Hyde: GMT

62. seven characters you relate to?

Haha

Lisa Carew - Jekyll and Hyde: GMT

Japan - Hetalia/Oni

Garnett - Steven Universe

Hfhddh that’s all I can say that aren’t my own characters

63. five songs that would play in your club?

I Don’t Like Clubs, but

Overwhelmed - Royal + The Serpent

Backseat Serenade - All Time Low

Go Big or Go Home - American Authors

The Nights - Avicii

Tempo - Lizzo

64. favorite website from your childhood?

Webkinz!

65. any permanent scars?

Yep - One from a bad bike wreck. My body rejected the dissolvable stitches so it’s a lot bigger than it was supposed to be

66. favorite flower(s)?

Lily of the Valley, daisies, Day Lilies, and Dandelions! I also love honeysuckles but I don’t know if those count.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Accidentally drank rancid milk once!

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? (Haha, nice)

The fastest, free way to fill up your potions on Wizard101 is to play Potion Motion to level three.

70. left or right handed?

Right handed

71. least favorite pattern?

On myself, animal print

72. worst subject?

I’ve never been intuitively good at History, I do think it’s interesting though.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

I don’t like to take it until I can’t move without it.

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

Kindergarten? I had mono and then scarlet fever twice, so my baby teeth were pretty much ruined and they all fell out very fast.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

Curly fries!

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

Kalanchoe’s, it literally Window’s Thrill. These babies are fairly temperamental outside and love partial sun, so the window is the perfect spot for them. And! If you keep them happy! They’ll bloom! My personal favorite is the pink bloom.

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

What’s wrong with coffee from a gas station? Also I don’t like seafood.

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Earth tones!

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

Lightning bugs

82. pc or console?

PC!

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Podcasts - talk radios actually tend to get under my skin for n o reason

84. barbie or polly pocket?

Barbie, but let it be known I was brutal with mine. We did human sacrifices and the like.

85. fairy tales or mythology?

Mythology!

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cookies, but I’m a slut for whipped frosting

87. your greatest fear?

Losing control!

88. your greatest wish?

A life beyond where I am now. Haha Stop chasing new down the hallway you’re so sexy haha

90. luckiest mistake?

Logged into Omegle in like 2015 and some rando asked me to join their Doctor Who roleplay. Luckiest moment of my gd life.

91. boxes or bags?

Bags! They’re easier to store

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Sunlight! But in the late afternoon when everything is bathed in orange.

93. nicknames?

Mom is the most prevalent!

94. favorite season?

Fall into winter. Peak leaf crunch!

95. favorite app on your phone?

Discord or Notes

[skylightsofmylife]

All of them you friggin Lovely lady ily

1: Kitchen Counter, Couch, or on top of the dryer?

Kitchen counter if I could ever find a counter the right height. Gonna be a requirement for our house babe, good counter fucking height. 

2: Your last sexual encounter: Good or Bad and why:

Hella good cause it was with you!

3: A fictional person that you think would be good in bed:

Harley Quinn

4: Something that never fails to make you horny:

Rain......

5: Where is one place you would never have sex:

Probably public restrooms and kitchens

6: The most awkward moment during a sexual experience was when ______________

My partner had been going down on me for like an hour and a half and their mouth was starting to get sore/tired and it was my first time. They told me they were starting to get sore and asked me if I was close and I had to say, “I didn’t know if it was polite to cum or not.” Then proceeded to have trouble cumming because I’d edged myself so long and was really nervous/embarrassed. 

7: Weirdest thing that ever made you horny:

One of my exes fingers.... they were just so long and I couldn’t stop imagining all the new places they could reach. 

8: What is the best way to sexually bind someone: Handcuffs, Rope, or Other [if other please explain]:

Other. Pulling the other person’s t-shirt over their head so it blindfolds and binds them. 

9: What is the fastest way to make you horny:

Push me against a wall or do that low sexy whisper in my ear telling me what you want to do to me. 

10: Top or bottom?

Switch

11: We were about to ____________ but then ______________ [example: we were about to have sex but then his mom walked in]

We were about to send people home so we could have sex but then it turned into a birthday orgy. 

12: Is one orgasm enough? Are multiple orgasms necessary?

One can be enough but I like a lot of foreplay in that case and it has to be one of those really strong O’s that leaves you breathless and just wanting to curl up into them and sleep. Not necessary but definitely appreciated. 

13: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:

Idk, both my parents have seen my sex toys so whatevs. I guess me. 

14: Weirdest nickname a significant other has ever called you:

Little butter cause she was big butter. 

15: Two things you like [or dislike] about oral sex:

1) The textures! Oral gives so many more textures than anything else. The hardness of teeth, the dexterity of a soft tongue, the pressure of the lips/suction. 

2) That moment when they stop for a second and you have your hand on the back of their head. Your eyes meet and then you push them back into you. 

16: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you:

Probably the time an ex stripped me down to just underwear in front of guests not really with anyones’ permission. 

17: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?]

Yes, was less flavorful than I thought it would be. Mostly just salty with a slight tang I guess but ever so slight. 

18: Is it ever okay to not use a condom:

Yes. For me there is zero chance of pregnancy and I trust my long-term committed partners as I always have people get tested first. 

19: Who was the sexiest teacher you ever had?

7th grade English teacher. She gave off strong plant filled house, lesbian vibes and was adorably quirky. 

20: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience:

Maybe whipped cream? 

21: How big is too big:

Vaginally around 7 inches. Anally I have not really found a limit yet. Seems to be if I’m in the mood for it it’s gonna fit. 

22: One sexual thing you would never do:

Gun play

23: Biggest turn on:

See 9.... same question basically. 

24: Three spots that drive you insane:

1) Spot slightly to the left of my bellybutton (feels so good I have to be extremely comfortable with the person because too much and sex has to stop I cramp so bad). 

2) To the left and right of the vulva, where my inseam meets my pelvis. 

3) Neck

25: Worst possible time to get horny:

Never? 

26: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans:

YYYYYYEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS

27: Worst sexual idea you ever had:

Anal in a shower no lube.... yeah. 

28: How much fapping is too much fapping:

When I start wanting to strangle someone from the noise. 

29: Best sexual complement you ever got:

I’ve never cum from oral before, I can’t  believe you did that to me. 

30: Bald, landing strip, Jumanji:

I’m more of a trimmed natural V line of the genitals. It’s fun to have a little something to hold onto down there. 

31: Is it good sex if you don’t nut:

Oh definitely. It’s not always about you. Sometimes it’s about your partner. 

32: Fill in the blank: “If they ____________, we are fuckin”

Put their hand under my shirt

33: What’s your favorite part of your body:

Right now my vagina.

34: Favorite foreplay activities:

Scratch me up. 

35: Love (>,

..........what? 

36: What do you wear to bed?

T-shirt and panties. 

37: When was the first time you masturbated:

Someone did my first time for me at like 12 or 13. 

38: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?

If you want the answer look at my twitter. Shameless plug: https://twitter.com/SkylightsofLife

39: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside?

It’s been a hot minute. When I was 20? Somewhere around there. 

40: Have/would you ever have sex outside?

I have and would again.  

41: Have/would you ever had a threesome?

I have and would again. 

42: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?

Nothing? 

43: Have/would you ever masturbate at work/school?

Have and would again. It’s such the exhibitionist dream. 

44: Have/would you ever have sex on a plane?

Probs not. Maybe some up the skirt action with the GF masturbating for me if we could hide it well enough. 

45: What is one song you’d like to have sex to?

Desire by Meg Myers. Yes, I am a freak. 

46: What is something nonsexual that makes you horny?

Rain

47: Most attractive celebrity?

Chyler Leigh

48: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not?

Yes, but it has to be actual lesbian targeted porn. Not that crap for cis men. 

49: If a child was born on the occasion of the last time you had sex, how old would that child be right now?

About three months old. 

50: Has anyone ever posted nude pictures of you online?

Probably. Not that it matters. I’ve already “leaked” my own nudes. 

51: What is one thing that NEVER makes you horny?

A dirty dish being in the room while my partner tries to do anything. 

52: Do you have stretch marks? (How do you feel about them? Has anyone ever had a problem with them?)

Yes. Quite fond of the ones on my legs. Not to fond of the ones on my upper butt. Nobody has ever had a problem with them and if they did I wouldn’t keep them around long for shaming something so natural. 

53: Do you like giving head? (why/why not)

FUCK YES. It’s just so much fun. Not really sure why I just know it’s one of my favorite things to do. 

54: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in?

Please. Just all of them. 

55: How would you feel about taking someones virginity?

I’m perfectly okay with doing it but I want to know first so I can make it special and we are going to talk about it to make sure no lines are crossed. Just want the person to have a good first experience. 

56: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?

Anything sticky. When you’re trying to make things slide easy sticky is the enemy. 

57: Is there anything you do on Tumblr that you would not like your significant other to see?

Nope. She sees it all. She can see anything I do I don’t care. We trust each other completely. It’s why we work so well together in my opinion. 

58: Do you own any sex toys? (what is it? (how long have you had it?)

Yes. Too many to list. Basic gist things that go vvvvbbbbbb, clamps, vaginal and anal penetratives, and bondage stuffs. 

59: Would you give your significant other unrestricted access to your Tumblr for a day?

Sure. Have at it baby. I shit blog most of the time anyways but people seem to like it. 

60: Would you be offended if your significant other suggested you get plastic surgery?

No. They need to do whatever makes them happy. I don’t get a decision in that. I’m here to supplement their happiness not control it. 

61: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?

Pornstar. I can’t do casual sex. 

62: Do you watch porn?

Yes, we already covered this. Who wrote these redundant questions? 

63: How small is too small?

Everybody has fingers and can use a dildo so nothing. 

64: Have you ever been called a freak? Why?

Hell yes. For so many things. Being gay, being trans, my love of fluid play. 

65: Who gave you your last kiss? Did it mean anything?

The lovely Jessica. Hell yes. I kissed her as she was leaving to get on a plan knowing I wouldn’t see her for months. I cried lots. 

66: Would you switch phones with your significant other for a day?

On a non-workday yes. I need mine for work. 

67: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”?

Haven’t tried yet but in the right clothes probably. Don’t want something that’s gonna rub too hard. 

68: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair?

Nah. I can get down and dirty with the best of them. 

69: If you could give yourself head, would you?

Probably not. Solely for the reason it’s the one thing I can’t do to myself so it feels more special when someone else does it and it’s the one thing I don’t get into a routine of so every experience with it is different and new. 

70: Booty or Boobs?

Can I not have both??? Boobs more though just cause they are so good to lay on. 

71: If you had a penis, what would you name it?

Firehouse, cause everyone wants to slide down the pole in them. ;) I’m dumb. Ignore me. 

72: Have you ever been on an official date?

Yeppers. 

73: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)

Nope. That shit sucks and too many people have done it to me for me to ever put someone else through that pain. 

74: If you were a stripper, what would your name be?

Luna, cause I’m as pale as the moon. 

75: Have you ever had sex in your parents bed? (Would you?)

Not my parents but an exes parents. Was actually an orgy....

76: How would you react if you found out your parents had sex in your bed?

Burn it. 

77: What was your reaction the first time you saw a penis/vagina

Holy crap that’s huge. I love it. 

78: If you had a penis/vagina for a day, what are five things you would do?

As a person who’s had both I don’t feel the need to answer this. 

Ps, fuck you Jess. That’s a lot of freaking questions. You owe me a night of you topping as punishment. 

#ask #asks #ask me anything

[thecircusfreaks]

1-91 (one for each muse)

NSFW asks

1:When did you lose your virginity?

Angelo lost his virginity at age 16 to a girl in his class. He had his first sexual encounter with a man at age 19.

2: Rough sex or soft sex?

Angela prefers rough sex

3: Do you have any unusual kinks/fetishes?

Asahi enjoys having sex while watching his fave pornstar on screen.

4: Weirdest place you’ve had sex?

In a public lounge when in town for a meeting on Iram’s behalf.

5: Favourite sex position?

Chetan loves the cowgirl and reverse cowgirl. He basically enjoys riding his partner.

6: Do you like to be dominant or submissive?

Choco enjoys to play submissive but he’s definitely a dominant bottom

7: Have you ever had any one night stands?

Colt has had plenty of one night stands, so many he forgot to keep track of them.

8: Sex on the bed, couch or the floor?

Eichi’s prefered place to have sex would be on the couch. The bed is too basic and the floor too uncomfy.

9: Have you ever had sex in a public place?

Eito has had sex in a public place, a sauna to be specific.

10: Have you ever been caught masturbating?

Haruya has indeed been caught masturbating, which resulted into sex with a total stranger.

11: What does your favourite sexy underwear look like?

Hiashi doesn’t have a favorite kind of sexy underwear, he does like a thong on a guy, though.

12: How often do you have sex?

Currently Ichiro doesn’t have sex at all, he either is too absorbed in his work or he’s too lazy to make an effort. However, he has set his sight on someone.

13: Is there anybody right now you’d like to have sex with?

Naturally that would be Iram’s lover, Ammon.

14: Do you prefer giving or receiving oral sex?

Ivan is definitely a receiver.

15: Most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you during sex?

It didn’t exactly happen during sex but oral sex instead. After getting his first blowjob he came and was unable to get hard for the actual thing.

16: A song you’d listen to during hard/rough/kinky sex?

Kane’s favorite rough song during sex is ‘You and Me and the Devil makes 3′ by Marilyn Manson.

17: A song you’d listen to during soft/slow/passionate sex?

Katsuo’s favorite song for slow sex is ‘Slowmotion’ by Trey Songz

18: Are you into dressing up for sex?

Marcus prefers to get completely naked right away when he’s in the mood. He finds the exposed skin to be sexier than a naughty outfit.

19: Would you prefer sex in the bath or sex in the shower?

Sex in a steamy shower is where Marito’s preference lies.

20: If you could have sex with anyone right now, who would it be?

For Masahiko that would still be Shinya, even if he got to choose from every guy in the world.

21: Have you ever had a threesome? If not, would you?

Masaru has had plenty of threesomes. As a bisexual man, he has had them with two men, with two women and also with another man and a woman. He actually really like threesomes.

22: Do you/would you use sex toys?

Nori only uses sex toys to masturbate, he wouldn’t use them during sex unless for a porn.

23: Have you ever sent someone a dirty text/picture?

Ravah has not with the sole reason of being way behind on technology in the place where he lives.

24: Would you have sex with your best friend?

Raynor doesn’t have a bestfriend. So, at this point his lover would be his bestfriend so that would mean yes.

25: Is there anything you do after sex? (for example, smoke, eat, drink)

Reina loves taking a shower together and drink a cold drink, may it be water or something else.

26: Something that will never fail to get you horny?

Renji loves a good make out session, that will certainly put him in the right mood.

27: Early morning sex or late night sex?

Sanji prefers the early morning sex, it’s lazy and sloppy and he likes that.

28: Favourite body part on the opposite sex?

Touma finds the rear of a girl to be lovely, even though he is not the type to stare at it when on the streets.

29: Favourite body part on the same sex?

The arms of a man that is strong and muscular is a big fave of Seidou.

30: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:

Shino is not that secretive, he hasn’t hidden anything that his brother, friends or boyfriend aren’t allowed to find. 

31: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you:

According to a guy Shuji was dating, he said that a frozen banana was a great replacement for a dildo to freeze a banana. Shuji didn’t like the idea, especially not when it was almost used on him when he slept. He woke up in time luckily.

32: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?]

Not on purpose. Shunsuke Once accidentally shot his load all over himself, getting some in his mouth by chance. It wasn’t all bad but he prefers the taste of another.

33: Is it ever okay to not use a condom:

Between Sora and his boyfriend it is always fine to not use it. Neither men carry any deceases and it is not as if they have to worry about pregnancies.

34: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience:

Theodore likes smaller and sweeter fruits such as strawberries and grapes, that kind of stuff. Nothing too crazy.

35: Worst possible time to get horny:

For Thomas that would be during a dance performance, all those eyes directed towards him while he gets horny, that could be a problem.

36: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans?

Tohru enjoys it quite a lot when his sexual partner is vocal due to his actions.

37: How much fapping is too much fapping:

In touga’s eyes all fapping is too much fapping, he has people to give him handjobs, at the very least.

38: Best sexual complement you ever got:

That must have been from Yamashita’s late wife when she told him that he had the stamina of a young god.

39: Favorite foreplay activities:

Yamato loves to cuddle and make out, jerk each other off a bit before getting to the main piece.

40: What do you wear to bed?

Antoine mostly sleeps in a pair of boxers, if really too warm he sleeps naked as well.

41: When was the first time you masturbated:

Ayana tried it out the first time when she was 14 years old.

42: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?

Calleigh doesn’t do such thing, she prefers to either show the guy in person or not show it at all.

43: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside?

For Elena outdoor sex has been quite a while, it’s hard to pinpoint an exact date but she has done it a few times out of curiosity.

44: Have/would you ever have sex in public?

Izumi wouldn’t exactly mind it. However, he doesn’t do it for the risk of getting caught, more because he can’t hold in his desires.

45: Have/would you ever had a threesome?

Kijima has never had a threesome and he has no plans of doing so either.

46: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?

Kimi has used the circular handle of her hairbrush once, it wasn’t bad but definitely not good either.

47: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not?

Madelaine doesn’t really watch it but she has seen it a few times in her younger and wilder years. However, she is into men but girls are definitely more curious and into experimenting in her opinion.

48: Do you like oral sex? (why/why not)

Naoya doesn’t know, he has only had sex once and oral wasn’t part of that.

49: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in?

Ellie doesn’t mind tattoos however, she prefers for them to be small and subtle and not distracting or a main focus.

50: How would you feel about taking someones virginity?

Red thinks that at his day and age, it would be really weird to take someone’s virginity. On top of that, he’s not sexually active as much as in his younger years.

51: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?

While not having any experience with it, Reiko just wouldn’t use any form of peppers during sexual encounters. That can’t be good in any way, shape or form.

52: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?

If Safir was forced to make the decision, than he’d go for a pornstar because it seems more enjoyable and actually quite relaxed as well.

53: Do you watch porn?

Sango used to watch a fair bit of straight porn when he was in his teens, that became lesser over the years and he quit all together when his current relationship became serious.

54: Have you ever been called a freak? Why?

Tadaaki has been by the previous porn studio where he was a cameraman. People thought he was freaky because he didn’t do any POV kind of stuff but he was getting erections all the time.

55: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”?

Xavi doesn’t find it the most comfortable thing but if he had no choice, he wouldn’t be bothered.

56: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair?

Yamada definitely wouldn’t mind, a bit of hair is actually pretty sexy to him.

57: If you could give yourself head, would you?

While Claude has tried in his adventurous teen years, he wouldn’t do it now. He rather has others do that for him.

58: Booty or Boobs?

Haruto prefers the booty by a long shot.

59: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)

Chico has cheated on someone before, only because he knows that their romance is only based on the physical aspect and he doesn’t consider that a real relationship.

60: If you were the other sex for a day, what are five things you would do?

Shika is the type to explore his own body as a woman, have sex as a woman, go buy a bikini or lingerie, try out make-up and finally he wants to go to a ladies night when he is the correct gender.

61: have you ever watched someone masturbate?

Other then on porn sites, Baku has not watched someone masturbate before.

62: has anyone ever watched you masturbate?

Naozumi is pretty confident that has not happened to him, unless someone was peeking.

63. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed?

Troy has had this happen to him too many times. He’ll make sure to use that erection on said person as well.

64. What is your method of masturbation? (ie. toys, clitorial, prostate)

Craig masturbates with a firm grip on his length and ocassionally fucks himself with a dildo while doing so.

65. What is your bra/penis size?

Sai’s penis size is 5.3″ inches.

66. What is the strangest thing you have ever put up your vagina/anus?

Mai doesn’t like putting anything up her vagina other then a man’s penis or one of her toys. However, she keeps it simple with dildos and vibrators.

I didn’t get further cause I have no more muses that you have knowledge of or are connected to your muses xD

#long post under the cut #welivetoserve

[sn0wblinded]

questions 1-98 ( go big or go home ;) )

ya killin me hollis );

1. Unfortunately, I am 5′1, pros to anybody who wants a nugget for a gf or friend

2.  Body type? uh I suppose slim and slender with an hourglass shape

3. Favorite part of my body would have to be...erh...uh...my eyes? I love the shape of them just wish I had blue or green eyes :(

4. HAH my hair color now is NOT my natural hair color loll I have naturally crazy dark brown hair where it’s almost black but I love blonde in the summer so catch me in the fall for my dark roots ;D

5. Um I’d say it depends where I am and who I’m with as to whether I’ll be shy or outgoing, typically I’m shy until I feel comfortable enough to be myself, or unless someone gets enough drinks in me hahah

6. Uh I’d say I’m probs more on the femme side, like I luvvv getting dressed up and looking super pretty if I’m not sitting on my ass being lazy af. 

7. Super duper smol bean

8. Hands down I’d be a wine mom

9. Hmmph weird habit? Uh I’ll mouth whatever someone is saying as they are talking, even sometimes before they say the next word and I don’t even know I’m doing it. I catch myself doing this watching shows or movies and I hateeee it. “How do you know what I’m saying??” is the usual response *rolls eyes* 

10. OOOHHH my fav meme would have to be the one with the baby orangutang and her crazy hair bc she’s a hot mess and I’m a hot mess ._.

11. who doesn’t sing in the shower???? the acoustics man, i’ll give my SO a full-blown concert w/ an encore. will it sound good tho?? who knows

12. um I’d love to go full Merida and learn how to use a bow and arrow tbh

13. I was never a theatre kid :( I wanted to be in HS 

14. I’ve never seen a broadway musical but def something on my bucketlist

15. Musicals are kinda cheesy but that’s what I love about them

16. I’ve never been a part of a protest or march, but will def be in the future when given the chance

17. My fav Cards Against Humanity Card would probs be “What is Batman’s guilty pleasure?” love having a good giggle at the responses

18. The last movie I watched...that I can think of was Final Destination 2 and was reminded why I can be paranoid af about some stuff LOL

19. Uhh preferably not behind or infront of the camera, not photogenic and my hands aren’t steady enough to take decent photos BUT I’d love to do photography if I had any skill in it

20. If you know me, like come on, F.R.I.E.N.D.S. 

21. just listen to Snowblinded by Kill Hannah nuff said

22. Uhh I joined tumblr back in 2011 my freshman year of HS bc I wanted to release my teenage angst, and then I left after a few years and came back this year:) Luckily my OG url was still available

23. Um you know 

24. Most people love chocolate and I hate it loll Fight me pls ;P

25. Narcotics? Nope sowwe

26. HAH expose me much?? hahah Def not a virgin lemme say that ^-^

27. Um my neighbors little brother caught her and I kissing underneath her sheets when I was a super duper smol bean, technically wasn’t bad but we couldn’t do it anymore:/

28. Oof idk what the funniest lie is that I told... omg 

29. Hmm... expression through words...take a guess what that passion is 

30. My best friend is one the most supportive and loving people I’ve ever met and I love her to death

31. Um lemme keep my secrets ;)

32. I’m super tired but also feeling really motivated so it’s kinda conflicting but oh well das my life

33. My biggest fear is probably ending up alone (amongst a few others)

34. I Like Me Better by Lauv

35. The best decision I’ve made in life thus far was deciding that I’m going to start love being myself regardless of societal expectations and internalizing everything because of the fear of others judgements etc. This is my life and I plan on living it up the best way possible.

36. Um who hasn’t? Failure always leads you one step closer to success

37. I fantasize about finding someone whose soul fits perfectly w/ mine

38. I cried the other night but happy tears bc I no longer have to hide who I am

39. A meme I was sent in a group chat

40. Mm...maybe..my lips are sealed 

41. A few of my closest friends

42. Uh every single day at the end of my last relationship

43. I’ve started to realize who my true friends are, and people’s true intentions

44. Submissive AF, but a lil control here and there isn’t bad

45. I’ll only date you if you’re okay w/ eating lots of pasta and long jam sesh’s

46. Preferably someone my age or a little bit older, but if I click with someone a year or two younger than me then whatevs :)

47. um I’d describe my crush but it’d be a dead giveaway LOL

48. any kinks? oh sweetie.. I’m not as innocent as this halo may make me appear ;P

49. First thing I notice in someone, physically would be their eyes, personality-wise would be their sense of humor.

50. Best way to win my heart is to bond over music

51. Uhh wow like allll the time LOL

52. Once again, like alllll the fucking time *rolls eyes*

53. Oh I plead the fifth on this one 

54. Trust is a big thing for me, but I usually know right off the bat now if I can trust somebody or not

55. Um no bc anybody I like lives miles and miles away >_>

56. Confidence is hot, not cute, hot. Make me swoon. 

57. My heart would probs ache 

58. If you can’t make me laugh we won’t even be close to dating loll

59. Uh no and I’m sure they will never have a clue bc I’m shy af about my feelings 

60. ...too many storytimes there

61. Hopefully one day I marry the love of my life

62. Pleading the fifth bc I’m stuck between a couple 

63. Turn ons: Whisper in my ear, light touches, and cute messages (keeping things on the cleaner side (; )

64. Hate is a strong word, so Trump 

65. Babygirl melts my heart but so does sweetheart and princess

66. Charlies Angels hands down...

67. Oof... intimidating in a sexy and intriguing way? Hell yes, but I love a kind soul

68. Somebody who truly loves me for me and is always up for adventure, and has an impeccable taste in music.

69. I tend to like whoever I like :P

70. HAH good one

71. The first person I came out to was my sister, a few years ago, and it went alright I guess until we had a heated argument and yeah...but I came out to her again recently and it’s helped us grow closer together.

72. I have a quite a few friend who are and luvvv them all

73. um....ya

74. Oof...I honestly can’t remember

75. Maybe later, this is already wayyyy too long.

76. I used to but I’d say it takes a lot more for me to fall IN love

77. Yeah so let’s not talk about it :3

78. Good at hiding my feelings? Uhhhhhh

79. Forgiving? I’ll forgive but I never forget who has hurt me.

80. Uh...I have quite a few, want the whole list? LOL

81. Whichever one would comfort both of us in the moment

82. I like a girl that’s taller, even if it’s just by a little bit. Honestly it doesn’t take much with how smol I am :[

83. Um can I have both? Hugs and kisses pls k thx

84. Be twirled :3

85. Um both mmmff

86. I love forehead kisses, but if you wanna make me melt into a puddle neck kisses are the way to go.

87. I’d do either or, kinda hard for me to choose which one more.

88. Depends on my mood, love me some soft kisses but bet your ass I’m always down to makeout

89. If I’m feeling the need to be cute hug around the neck, if I’m being a lil more touchy then hugs around the waist

90. I used to contemplate my sexuality constantly because of growing up in a religious family and internalizing everything, but without a doubt I’m 100% confident in my sexuality. This is me, take it or leave it baby ;)

91. Uh I blush and get a massive load of butterflies, feeling like I’m on cloud nine etc. I’ve liked people and just felt comfortable and never had butterflies and such but FUCK do I love feeling giddy and happy all over from just the mere thought of them. 

92. Yes, typically that’s how it starts out with me and it ends in either of two ways, mutual or I embarass tf outta myself 

93. I had my first kiss with a girl when I was 7, and man did I never want to stop. But, I knew for certain that I really liked girls when I was in sixth grade and wanted to watch any and everything that contained wlw content, hoping and wishing to have that one day.

94. Be myself? LOL

95. Ohmygosh... favorite lesbian ship... Laura/Carmilla, Alice/Robin (OUAT), Yorkie/Kelly (San Junipero)...these are only a few of a long list

96. The most aggravating thing that’s personally been said to me about my sexuality would be between being told this is all temptation and comparing it to acts of disgusting scum of human beings(pedos and adulterers), and also being told it’s only a phase... I can’t roll my eyes hard enough

97. Um like probably a few minutes ago :3

98. Love is being completely comfortable in being who you are around someone, and loving the good and bad parts of each other. 

If anyone actually reads up until this point I just gotta say...I’m sorry LOL 

and you’re a trooper

#asks #i wanna go to sleep now #yastillkillinmehollis