Tumgik
#anywho im trying my best to be consistent
boowhumps · 6 months
Text
12 Days of Whumpmas
※ Day II | Reunion ※
⋇⋆✦⋆⋇
※ TW ※
- Swearing
- Mentions of Death
- Mentions of Murder
Enjoy!
⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ 
"Remember the plan, and stick to it."
"Of course."
"The only way we'll rest is if he dies."
"And I'll make sure he does."
"We're counting on you, Karyme."
"I won't fail.. I swear."
__
"I-I don't understand.. You shouldn't be-" David sutters.
"Helping you.? Well.. I'm dead again, so there's no reason for me to hate you anymore.." Karyme mumbles, her gray figure standing in front of David.
"..I don't trust you.." David says coldly.
"Then don't.. but I'm the only one on your side here.." Karyme says.
David frowns. "I know what your family is capable of-"
"Don't." Karyme says, suddenly angry. "Don't.. compare me to them." She says sternly, eyes glaring at David. "I'm better than them."
David turns away from Karyme. "I'll make it out of here, without your guidance."
"I'm not here to guide you." Karyme tells him. "I'm here to protect you from them."
David stops. "..them.?"
"They're angry at you, for obvious reasons." Karyme says blankly. "If you go alone.. you'll make it maybe 10 steps out of here."
Karyme gets closer. "If you go with me.. I can make sure you get out of here.."
"..but why..?" David mumbles.
"Do I need a reason.?" Karyme asks. "Maybe I'm trying to make things right.."
"..if I trust you.. you swear you won't hurt me.?"
"I swear on my uncle's life." Karyme says.
Daivs sighs. "Fine."
Karyme smiles. "Follow me then, and stay close."
Karyme walks off, David slowly trailing behind.
"I'll tell you a few things.. just so you keep cautious." Karyme mumbles after some silence.
"..like what.?" David asks.
"They hear everything.." Karyme whispers. "They're probably listening to our conversation right now.."
David frowns. "Wouldn't they be angry at you then.. for helping me.?"
"No." Karyme says. "They know their place around me."
"Are they.. scared of you..?" David asks.
"Maybe.." Karyme mumbles. "Probably as much as you are of me.."
David sighs. "I'm not scared-"
"Then why are you shaking.?" Karyme asks, eyeing David. "And why are you so behind..?" Karyme frowns. "You look like you're ready to sprint off.."
"I'm fine just- tell me more about.. them." David says.
"They're..really angry.." Karyme says.
"That's a given." David mumbles.
Karyme stops suddenly, stopping David as well.
"What's going-" David starts, but Karyme shushes him.
"..they found us.." Karyme mumbles quietly.
A series of whispers suddenly surround them. Karyme turns around quickly, looking at David.
"Run." She says.
"What-?" David mumbles.
"Run straight ahead, and into the old control room, I will hold them off, and then I'll find you again." Karyme tells him. "Now go."
David inhales sharply, and runs off, refusing to look back.
It doesn't take long for him to find the control room, and he slips inside, shutting the door.
He finds himself alone once again, and on the brink of insanity.
"..what am I doing here.." He mumbles.
"We needed you here." A voice says.
David stops, eyes wide. "Who are-"
"For a purpose." Another voice says.
"Our purpose." Says yet another voice.
"An exchange." Says the last voice.
David rushes to the door, only to find it won't budge.
"There's no point anymore, David." Karyme's voice says suddenly.
"..what did you do..?" David mumbles.
"All of this.. is because of your choices." Karyme says. "And now, not even Selyna can save you."
David bangs on the door in a desperate attempt to escape.
"Fighting is useless, David." Karyme says. "Give up, and things will be much less painful."
"No, I won't-!" David shouts.
Suddenly, he's thrown back, groaning as he hits the wall.
"You've made your choice." Karyme says. "Now they'll make theirs."
David gasps for air. "You swore you wouldn't hurt me-!"
"I did swear on my uncle's life.." Karyme states. "..but my uncle's dead.."
She appears in front of David, looking down at him. "Consider this a trade.." She says. "Your life.. in exchange for our freedom.." She crosses her arms. "It's the least you owe us."
"You're just like your damn family-!" David shouts.
Karyme frowns. "It may seem that way.." She starts. "But I at least have a reason to kill."
She disappears, being replaced by multiple angry, restless figures.
Karyme appears behind a glass window, watching as David is surrounded, knowing that his life has come to its end..
..and yet she stands there, unfazed, as he screams in agony.
She then disappears again, right as David takes his last breath.
__
Karyme walks down the long corridor, feeling numb at her actions.
"..Karyme.?" A voice asks quietly.
Karyme turns around, spotting a shorter figure a couple feet behind her.
Karyme's eyes widen at the sight.
"..Kairo.?" Karyme mumbles.
In a split second, Kairo runs up to Karyme, and they embrace in a hug.
Karyme chokes back a son as she holds Kairo in her arms after so long.
"..I thought I lost you.." Karyme mumbles, her voice cracking.
Karyme pulls away, studying Kairo closely. "Why are you here.?"
"Dad sent me.." Kairo mumbles. "He wants to bring you back home.."
Karyme sighs. "Kairo, we can't go back home-"
"Not Eris." Kairo tells her. "He means back home with him and uncle.."
"..uncle.?" Karyme asks.
"Dad's brother, right?" Kairo asks.
"Yeah.. I know him.." Karyme mumbles.
Kairo smiles. "Can we go now? Dad will be happy to see you."
Karyme returns the smile. "Yeah.. let's go home, sweetie."
⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ 
1 note · View note
kamiversee · 6 hours
Note
i'm losing my mind. FTL is for the Gojo girlies fr we're eating GOOD so far.
back in chapter 29 he mentions how he fell in love with our voice first and FTL opens up with the fact that the first thing he noticed about us was our laugh. my fucking heart omfg Kami WHAT.
the amount of references back to chapter 29 is actually insane. Gojo asking her if she even likes parties because he recalls seeing her less and less when he goes to them :(
i'm so curious to see if the mention of Satoru self-projecting is going to be consistent with this sequel. knowing you, it most probably will. omg my heart's gonna hurt i already know it.
the amount of parallels to us and Satoru is crazy. those last two paragraphs really caught my eye when i was rereading. assuming that the "monster" being mentioned is Sukuna, Satoru "never finding out" the reason why Sukuna decided to blackmail him directly relates back to how it felt like we'd never find out the reason why Satoru blackmailed us. omg.
the mention of how we were completely oblivious to how many guys have took an interest/watched us is crazy foreshadowing. the implication of Satoru noticing them and most probably writing them down in his journal, along with the theory of Sukuna somehow getting access to that journal and reading through it, could explain how Sukuna devised that list. AAAAAA KAMIIIIIIIIIII YOU'RE KILLING ME
sorry for the multiple, broken up messages omfg my brain is short circuiting from the anticipation
-☃️
Wanted to condense this message with the other ^.^
Tumblr media
ANYWHO, yes yes everything connects very well 🙏 I’m trying my best to answer all plot holes as I go bc god forbid I finish ftl and there’s still unanswered questions (I’ll cry myself to sleep)
Aaand if u read chapter 29 you’ll also notice that the reader implies it was love at first sound instead of sight & now we know that thts almost exactly what it was :)) His curiosity sparked from the laugh & spiraled after that 😉
A lot of references will be made bc I gotta make sure everything makes sense! I want the story to end & everyone understands everything (if not, Im sure you’ll have another breakdown of tfl & ftl put together ^.^)
Oh and if you think Satoru & the reader have parallels, wait til’ you find out who Sukuna parallels to 🌚 (his parallels are a lot more tame tho… I think)
Lastly, the obliviousness was kinda a nod to Gojo’s infatuation in general (im trying not to spoil rn bc we will return to this point soon, trust me) like how he developed a crush & feelings despite never having so much as one convo with the reader!
It’s kind of a lil life lesson too, shows you how in life you’ll never really know if someone’s yearning for you unless they tell you & many people go their entire lives having had crushed on someone without ever telling them ;)
ANYWAY, IM EXCITED. YALL ARE EXCITED. LETSGOOO 🗣️
14 notes · View notes
c3m3t4ry · 2 years
Note
Please info dump about Rex :3 I would like to hear more
you’re in fucking luck im hyperfixated!!!! i’m working on a more concise document, but for now here are my ramblings.
rex’s whole lore and story is shifting as i actually play the game- i haven’t beaten it yet but yknow. i get the gist. thank you for asking me to infodump i went fucking insane down there
// abuse, self harm, suicide/suicide ideation , game typical violence
Tumblr media
Basics
rex is an incredibly apathetic deputy. he has very little confidence in his own abilities to help the county, but continues to do so nonetheless. his motives are unknown to most, but a lot of it stems from not wanting to let whitehorse and burke (along with other npcs) down. he has no genuine hope that he can stop the cult, but for the people he’s grown to care about, he’s ready to die trying.
he’s aimless and despondent, but he isn’t stupid. he likes to plan and to strategize. they’re a big stealth/melee guy.
his closest friends consist of whitehorse, mary, sharky, and jess. i would put burke on the list but uhmmm. ermmmmm. well i shant say.
anywho. he doesn’t care enough to really dislike any of the NPCS, but peaches is sure fucking close. they’re cautious around her to say the least (he is scared of cats :( )
vis a vis the Seed family, he’d honestly be very susceptible to the cult’s propaganda if he hadn’t already had loyalties to the resistance. the henbane was rough for him, and his ‘leap of faith’ was mostly him hoping to kill himself. killing faith was one of the harder things they had to do in their journey, but her death is also a major turning point in his lore and mental health. (for the better, thank fuck) 
he thinks john was a funny motherfucker, couldn’t take his ass seriously despite being tortured by him. jacob’s an asshole though, fuck that guy. his opinions on joseph are neutral at best.
Backstory shit
backstory wise, rex had a fairly rough childhood. he was born and raised in new mexico, with his physically abusive father and mother. he’d always been closer with his mother (duh), and her suicide hit him reasonably like a fucking semi truck. he’s struggled with mental illness his whole life, but is most affected by his depression and BPD. he coped with self harm, harm of others, etc. he’s had multiple suicide attempts.
they’ve always been somewhat of a loose canon, and consistently floated in and out of juvenile detention centers. they flunked out of public school and had to finish their high school education online- a mix of his unstable emotions and the constant bullying he dealt with weren’t making a good learning environment.
once he was an adult, juvenile detention centers turned into county jail. they were known to be trouble, easy to trigger and start a scrap with. whitehorse was quite familiar with him, and despite their flaws, he saw some potential in them. he inspired them to try and enter the career, and though rex first responded with pushback, they figured they weren’t doing anything else with their lives.
Trivia
they’re a cat person, despite being terrified of peaches.
they have gods worst RBF. he always looks so pissed despite being neutral about most things
john cut off one of his tattoos and he cried for like a day afterwards he was PISSED
he has super autism. he made sharky even more autistic
whitehorse and burke are basically father figures to him. nick comes close, but he’s shit at flying planes so he doesn’t visit much.
i like to ship my characters and i think him and sharky together r funny as hell. i am also partial to rex/mary because she’s underrated :(
16 notes · View notes
versaceviagra · 17 days
Text
Thursday 05/16/2024 1:30 AM
Tumblr media
This is me now! A quick little update about me, I am now currently single after a long battle of toxicity and abuse (on both ends) from my last relationship with Joseph.
Anyways, I've been on this journey of 'self-healing' and basically trying to regulate my nervous system and trying my best to handle my emotions better.
I no longer smoke a pack (or two) a day which was normal for me last year. Actually, my last bout of smoking was this past January but quit due to the fact that it's really hard to smoke during duty hours of clinicals.
Im about to pass my 2nd year of nursing school and moving forward with 3rd year, how exciting! i will only have one more year to go after that and then its working, im excited to make my own money again and to get away from the hells and holds of my mother who has decided to only give me and Desiree 6k pesos a month (which is absolutely atrocious). Anywho, she will not actually go through with it because she is aware of the surging prices here in the Philippines and its at a small cost to her.
I know i've been real scared about hooking up here in the PH , especially since ive only had one partner but I did hook up with this one guy who is apparently a micro-celebrity or more so an influencer here in the PH and yes, we did have protected sex, and yes, his dick was big. Another experience was this foreigner named Hass (or Huss) and honestly? Did not wanna go through that shit because i only really went for free drinks and he ate me out for like 5 seconds and after that I came to my senses, washed up, and left. Honestly, what is up with foreigners going to a lesser developed country to get some pussy anyways? It never made sense to me and its reeking desperation, its also creepy.
Anywho, right now I'm just in bed and unable to sleep. I think ill be getting my period in the next following days because my cravings are so intense that I had a THIRD supper which consisted of hot milk, loaf bread dunked in, bits and bites of my nephew's spaghetti , and a mug full of Laing and rice.
I just know that when i get back to America, life will flourish for me significantly. I will be able to breathe again and be away from the stressors that I'm not bringing upon myself.
I survived a month of mama and Aya being here last month. Aya was an absolute fucking bitch and a nightmare and she still has to give me my $360.00 . Like. It's my fucking money, yknow? ugly.
I can't think of much else to type.
In my future, I just KNOW im going to be wealthy. Like, private yacht , beach front house that is tall over looking the ocean (wont be my only home), expensive skin care, makeup, purses, and shoes type of wealthy. With the 500+ count egyptian cotton threading that is super soft to the touch and with a tall gorgeous husband who only loves me and has eyes for me. That's going to be my future. Sipping wine by the outside of the restaurant and absolutely just loving the peace, quiet, and love that is pouring in. Of course, with my 2 kids that I love dearly and will have after I've accomplished my career goals and money that I was able to accumulate. Whatever it will be, however it happens, I will get there and I am 100% sure of it.
I think that's all I wanted to share for now :)
I'm happy of the person I am at the moment. Just absolute peace and quiet. I don't have any friends for that matter, but I am okay with it unless I actually want to go out and party.
Thanks for reading this, if you've come across it.
Thank you future Becky for everything you're doing for US and for me right now. I thank you for that. Don't be too hard on yourself because everything will fall into place regardless.
0 notes
Text
in my demidecade away i learned a lot about humans and it’s that they’re all STUPID AND I LIKE TWITTER.
my fucking GOD.
Boy #1, the one I was writing about 5 years ago, LOL HE STILL HATES ME. AND IM PRETTY SURE HE GAY OOPS LOL. I MISS HIM SO MUCH AND HES STILL ALL I EVER THINK ABOUT. I would do anything just for him to even look at me again. I miss my best friend.
Boy #2 was boy #1 ex which I did not know when I was dating them but when I found out lowkey it felt like I was still trying to find any way to be closer and relate more to boy #1 even though he hates me :p anywho boy #2 cheated on me and then tried dating ppl who looked like me only to turn around and come crawling back 3 times and then ultimately threatening to kill themself. (I rly wanted them to go thru w it LOLLLL) they still look at my socials sometimes so unfortunately they are not dead (if they ever read this just know I only dated you to get at your friend (☝︎ ՞ਊ ՞)☝︎ and it worked LOLLLLLLL!)
Boy #3 was a rebound who ended up assaulting me kekeke. Aside from that I really felt like I could fix him. He had so much potential but ruined it. Tbh it was my fault
Boy #4 oh my G O D DO NOT EVEN GET ME STARTED. JESUS CHRIAF WOWKEAKAKAKAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA THEY DEEPLY TRAUMATIZED MEEEEEEE HEHEHE I DESERVED IT THOUGH. I fell for boy #4 because they literally looked like a taller version of boy #2 so not only was I attracted to them, it was a marvelous way at revenge against boy #2. They were a real poopyhead, and now they get to watch me be w their replacement (๑>◡<๑)kekekeke anyway lol they assaulted me too and psychologically tortured me for about a year. Constantly demanding sexual pictures and every droplet of my attention otherwise they would threaten to kill themself ._. shEESH DRAMATIC MUCH? It’s different from me though bc I don’t pull the suicide card I just cut myself and make sure they never find out LOL ANYWAY SO YEAH THEY WERE SERIOUSLY FUCKED they literally would refuse to go home and follow me home just like boy #3 oh my god I forgot to mention BOY #3 USED TO STALK ME AFTER THE BREAKUP I SHIT YOU NOT. ANYWAY I finally escaped them after they cheated on me w their ex and their life went downhill shortly afterwards hehe
And then there was boy #5. I loved him just as deeply as boy #1, I feel like that’s why his departure hurt me so much. I loved him so deeply and he was the first to not assault me (wow! bitch you rly live like this!) but yeah. Oh my god girl tell me why he was a drug dealer and everyone knew BUT ME??? I WAS SO NAIVE???? DUDE WAS THE TOP 10% of our class so he was hella smart so the fact that the smartest person in our school wanted me was a huge flex but scary lol bc he saw my potential. Also I’ve been pooping this whole time while writing this hehe ew anyways so yeah boy #5 had a double life and aaa pretending to be a goodie goodie the first time we dated but then broke up for a while because he started spiraling and then after the breakup i spiraled too but then like a few months later we tried again and he opened up a little so I truly had faith our relationship would have worked. And honestly I still do believe that. He’s my best friend now and we still talk every day but like if he was able to show that consistency back then I would have given him a third chance. It just hurt so much not to. We broke up again because he said he didn’t know if I made him happy so I ended it. Nuff said right? But we were still friends after that. Around the time of prom I was meeting someone new, boy #6, but boy #5 knew and didn’t care. He still wanted me. He asked me to prom as friends but tried to take me as a date. He even got me flowers and everything. But I knew he was trying to trap me back with him but he was moving halfway across the state to go to college so it never would’ve worked. Dude literally bawled into my chest and clung onto me while I stroked his hair and explained why we couldn’t date again. I loved him but he could never love me in the way I need to be loved. I think I like him better as a friend but sometimes I miss it. I miss the forehead kisses and cuddling and holding his half and feeling so safe and protected. He was my big teddy bear. And it sucks it had to end but I deserved better.
Lol and now we’re onto boy #6, my current partner who’s got me
Tumblr media
BAHAHAHAAAAAAAA THIS IS SO FREEING ITS LIKE IM 12 AGAIN god I miss it
Anyway yeah that’s what I’ve learned while I was gone :P
0 notes
oneprompt · 3 years
Note
Helloooo! How u doing? Hope things going over there!
Glad to meet another one piece x reader blog! 💕💕 I was wondering if I could have a drabble or headcanons (whichever u prefer honestly) about jealous Zoro x chubby s/o? It can be NSFW or SFW (again whichever u prefer)
A jealous partner just hits different u know? 😳😳😳
Thank u for ur time!
authors note : hello ! <3 im doing rather well , thanks so much for asking <3 hope you’re doing lovely <33 i hope you don’t mind that i picked NSFW for this one ;; jealousy just blends perfectly with NSFW .. Anywho ! i hope you enjoy the headcanons + drabble <3 Oh ! i mainly kept the reader gender neutral , as i wasn’t sure if you wanted it as a female , male or nb. i hope that’s alright with you <3
NSFW WARNING BELOW <3 please skip if such content makes you uncomfortable.
........
........
Jealous! Zoro x Chubby! Reader Headcanons
tags : jealousy , ( slight ) breeding kink , possessiveness , marking
• It takes quite a lot to get Zoro jealous. He’s a swordsman and swordsmanship is all about honor and respect , even towards opponents.
• But if a certain Straw Hat even breathes in your direction, he’s quick to make jealous. Sanji had no limitations when it came to his flirtatious attitude, he didn’t even hold back flirting with you, someone who was knowingly in a relationship, let alone someone who was dating Zoro.
• Zoro doesn’t hesitate to stride over to you and Sanji, quick to shout and possibly hit Sanji. Who does Sanji think he is? Zoro hated that sleezy face Sanji would make, allowing his eyes to trace along every piece of exposed flesh you had as you sunbathed on the ship deck. And Zoro especially hated how your face would flush in embarrassment from the other mans compliments.
• When he’s jealous, Zoro gets a lot tougher when it comes to bed room activities. Most of the time, he’s slow with his strokes, leaving light kisses along your stomach or neck, depending on what position you two were in. But when he’s jealous? Boy, oh boy... Jealousy is the plague! Do not expect to be able to walk straight afterwards
• He’ll definitely bury your body in hickies and bite marks, wherever his mouth can reach, it’ll be throbbing from Zoro’s lips. Zoro lacks shame, really. He doesn’t mind if people notice the marks he leaves upon you. If anything, Zoro wants people to see them, it strokes his ego.
• Zoro wants to be able to see your face 100%. He loves seeing your sweet expression sink with pure ecstasy. The way you’ll drool and blush an unbelievable shade of red as he rams up into the warmth of your body makes him grin with delight. Zoro knows nobody can do this for you, that only he can. And that feeling is the greatest to ever bask within him, the feeling of superiority of all the men who have ever looked at you in a lewd way.
• Zoro loves to grope your body, as well. He likes to feel every bit of you, from your chest to your lovehandles, he wants to feel it all. He loves knowing your plump body is only for him to feast on.
• If you ever show shame in your body type, Zoro is quick to correct you with eager touches. How idiotic do you have to be to neglect such a treasure? Zoro will always be there to remind you of the value your body holds to him, and why you should find pride in it as well.
• When Zoro is in a mood, he often likes to drain his seed inside of you, filling you to the brim with his musky semen. He’s very territorial , as you can tell. Very into marking, wether with marks or his own cum.
Jealous! Zoro x Chubby! Reader Oneshot
“H-hey... can’t you be a bit gentler?” Your voice seeped out in between the harsh pants that circulated from you. The way Zoro was palming at your body was as tight as the grip he would use upon his sword. Mixing such powerful touches with the grinding of his rock hard member made it even more difficult to speak through. You could feel his precum dribble against your hole, making your warm body hotter then it already was.
Zoro didn’t make an effort to reply, as he was clearly in his own little world. All of this over Sanji and his cooking .. All you had done was compliment the chef on the straw berry and vanilla parfait he had graciously served you. It wasn’t your fault Sanji took ever little thing to heart... Yet, even as you had explained the scene, Zoro still didn’t let up with his sudden yearning for your body.
It was embarrassing, nearly. The way Zoro’s face smothered against your stomach, his calloused fingers scaling against the surface of your body. Everytime Zoro would leave a kiss or hickey against your stomach, you’d jolt in pleasure. It felt so good but having him smother your stomach like that... it was far too much.
“Zoro...not my stomach...its-“ You gasped out loudly as you were suddenly impaled on the forth of Zoro’s member, that action completely cutting off your words. You felt your toes curl and your legs tremble from the intrusion. You were already so sensitive, and that certainly amped it up further. Your eyes peered up at Zoro as he sat up, his tanned hands firmly squeezing your love handles as he let you consume every inch of him.
“Eh? It’s not what, Y/n?” Zoro smirked down at you, letting out a raspy laugh. He didn’t hesitate to begin to move his hips, letting his member exit your warmth before burrowing deep inside once again. “You better not have been thinking what i think you were...” Zoro knew how you felt about your body. You didn’t hate it but some days he would notice the way you’d gaze upon yourself, a small frown taking over your face. “Because.. the whole Grand Line can tell how fucking hot you are,” Zoro hissed, his breath growing slightly heavy as he quickened his thrusts.
You couldn’t tell if your face was hot from the temps tire of the room and the man that hovered over your naked form, or if it was hot from what Zoro had just said. Zoro was never new to vulgar compliments but that one was far too for you to handle, making you tighten around Zoro’s shaft. This was certainly different from the sex you two typically had. Zoro was never a man to falter, always staying at a steady pace but today, it was nonstop. You couldn’t help but let the loud moans that brewed within your throat out. You felt guilty, because God knows the rest of the crew was trying to sleep right now. But you couldn’t help it, you couldn’t help but gasp and call out for your lover as he pounded your deepest parts.
Zoro felt a never ending source of confidence against the rest of the ship and their mates. He knew he was the only person to make you scream in such a way. The thought that he was the only one who ever got to see you in such a manner just made him even more excited. Nobody got such a great view, nor would they ever. You were Zoro’s and Zoro’s alone, no one could come between you two, not even a damn War Lord.
Zoro was consistent, never stopping his rapid and rough strokes. He didn’t even pace himself, as you two got further into the session. It was sloppy, at that point. You two had been going at it like animals for about an hour or so, giving not a single Straw Hat time to get a blink of sleep in the time window. Fluids gushed from the both of you, the sticky fluid you dumped against his member just made such a lewd noise every time he would thrust inward. It was loud as he rammed into you, matching with the smacking of flesh.
You were close, and with the look that rested on Zoro’s face, he was just as close as you were. The room was full of moans and groans, the playful banter from before had ceased to be, melted within the bed sheets, along with the sweat that was produced from you and Zoro.
“Zoro...! I’m close!” You mustered out, throwing your head back into the mess of pillows that remained behind you. It was as i you were molding into the bed, slowly sinking into the wet bed sheets, marked with your own juices as well as the ones from your lover.
With how suddenly your walls clamped against Zoro’s shaft, it didn’t give him a single moment to think about pulling out. It was as if you were attempting to milk him of every drop of cum he could produce. And so, you did. The warmth of Zoro’s seed was an overwhelming force that seeped into you, painting your walls white with the thick fluid.
An animalistic groan escaped Zoro as he drained his balls, filling you as much as he could with his semen. It felt so satisfying to fill you, almost as if he were trying to impregnate you, wether he could or not. The feeling of him not just branding every bit of you on the outside but as well on the inside was the best feeling he could ask for.
You were his. Inside and out, you were marked by the worlds top wanted ‘ pirate hunter ‘ , the right hand man to the worlds future pirate king.
300 notes · View notes
ushiwakaout · 3 years
Text
Tumblr media
parings: Kenma x reader, Oikawa x reader
warning: Fluff, bad grammar. nsfw under black line. fem reader. TIME SKIP HAIKYUU
a/n: request are open! please don’t be afraid to do so!
Kozume Kenma
Match made in heaven
Both of you are at home workers, other than the fact that kenma is a CEO of his own company
You work for him, you’re his editor and you work pretty fast since you obviously do nothing in your day but edit and binge watch anime
you guys could probably go days without talking and just communicate physically and understand everything.
If you go to the store, and he’s gaming that’s when you’ll talk
Always knock before you go into his little studio room
You never come behind him anymore because one time he was filming a scary gameplay with a heart monitor and everyone thought you gave him a heart attack 
but no, kenma is just baby and you wanted a good laugh- you felt really bad about it tho bc it was live and you where crying your ass off and he was yelling at you 
fake breakup video like the next day for trolling
Okaya anywho
if you want his attention and he’s live, you remove one side of his headset and kiss his cheek (theres a several compilation videos of you doing that all over youtube) “I’m going to the store, you want anything?” 
you always wait like 30 seconds and caress him a little to let him know you’re physically there and not just standing there.
“Uh- yeah... yeah. Hold on.” (there is also a compilation of kenma just ignoring you and you just standing there until he answers) 
you always end up naming his favorite snacks, drinks and food and he either agrees or denies. 
everyone thinks its weird how your relationship works
SOME MANY VIDEOS OF “kenma and y/n communicating without any words” 
you go many places by yourself since kenma does very long streams or just long videos
you both stay up really late together
if hes not making videos hes looking at paperwork and if hes not doing that he’s helping you edit
somehow kenma is the more productive one
you have channel yourself that slowly grows thanks to kenma
you only do lives and leave up the whole streams bc you dread editing but you’ll do anything for kenma
Tumblr media
just to make extra cash you have and OF
most of the videos consist of watching you play video game while kenma eats you out under the desk
a lot of audios because kenma doesn’t like being his face filmed while having sex
theres a video in your own OF when you do a tik tok trend where you surprise him while he’s filming 
“Kenma can you help me for a second.”
“Hmm, what is it kitten?” 
He paused his game and while his chair turned you undid your robe
Luckly he’s not live and kept the camera on
He just smiles and spreads his legs for you
(gdiewgsfiuchsiufviusdghvypofgsivhrwshb my brain is malfunctioning ugh im so in love with kenma its not even funny)
He makes you sit on his lap, as he suckles your nipple in his mouth. 
His hand firmed tightly around your rips as he kisses every inch of your chest
“You’re so pretty... So fucking pretty.” He mumbles. He’s kissing down your chest all the way to your tummy before picking you up and making you stand 
He makes you stand in front of the camera while stands behind you and kisses the crook of your neck. 
“I want you to look in the camera for me kitten, can you do that?” He kisses her jaw “Can you be a good girl for me?”
(wow if i write any more smut for kenma i think i might go crazy jskwbvbdei)
sex is very much a frequent thing, most of the time it starts as cock warming while watching a movie and two second later your begging to milk kenmas cock again
he loves when you beg for his cock, makes him feel wanted
he loves feeling your tight pussy clench around him when hes about to cum and you’re cumming for the third time, panting, begging, crying to having him fill you up with his hot cum.
Blow jobs under his desk or while hes on an important call are a must.
you love watching his cock slowly twitch with pre cum when you lick his shaft
mmm i need to stop- i love him so much ugh
Oikawa Tooru 
Being lazy in argentina was a dream but a little lonely
Tooru was always away at practive but lcukly the apartment he had been renting had a pool, and you spend most of your days at the pool, reading or playing some game he just bought you
you hate how early he freaking wakes up
hes making breakfast and blending shakes at like 5 in the morning 
there’s days he doesn’t really mean to wake you, you know the difference bc if he wants to wake you he’ll leave the blender run for a while and if h doesn’t he does it in seperate pulses so it’s not so damn loud
if he does it on purpose, he has breakfast ready for you before his own
doesn’t expect you to stick around after you eat 
when he wakes you on accident he’s like “Oh my baby i’m so sorry honey.” 
cue kiss attacks, warm hugs and him making you a cup of coffee/tea, whatever you prefer that morning
he’s so sweet
he knows you work hard too (even tho it doesn’t seem like it bc people think youtubers and streamers have an easy job when it clearly is mentally very stressful)
He knows that when he wakes you up, you had legit just gone to bed like two hours ago. 
sometimes you sleep though the noise and before he leaves he wakes you up just a little so he can kiss you goodbye.
its always something like *shake* *shake* “Baby.... honey”  *caressing of the head/cheek/hair* “I gotta go to practice now, give me a kiss princess.” you always wake up to the sound of that and give his a really sweet and tender kiss. Oikawa really just wants to fall back asleep with you and hold you, especially today since it was a cold morning
after you give him the kiss, you caress his cheek and then shove him away- a little jumpy that he need to go. “Love you.” you mutter before covering yourself with the blankets 
he always slaps your ass over the blankets, it never huts but it’s just a sign of his actually leaving to practice 
You wear his stuff when he leaves
low key have attachment issues since you moved with him to Argentina
other than pool side reading, or doing a few laps before breakfast- you really don’t do anything but work.
Work for you consisted you of just playing video games or streaming
You’re popular on the female side of gamers 
sometimes you have streams where you ask your fans to play and write down their handles and you’d add them to a game or sum
Everyone knows your dating a professional volleyball player an they think it’s an interesting duo
You cry when Tooru brought Hinata over, he smelt like home
you def. helped him adjust to the life in argentina bc it’s nothing like home.
hinata comes over for dinner ever weekend
if you’re not working or at the pool, you’re in a white hoddie and some shorts, just watching Hinata play some beach volleyball while playing some game
You very much remind him of kenma- it helped a lot when he got some sick- you didn’t really ‘help’ you just cried with him about how much you miss home
although your schedule isnt the best, youre always awake when tooru gets home, always there to greet him with kisses 
hes lucky you like cooking, bc he always comes home to an empty stomach 
you’re probably the slowest cooker he knows but you take your sweet time bc you know that it always comes out w the best result and he doesnt complain anymore
baths w oikawa are frequent
muscles sores are a usual so seconds before he gets home theres a hot bath being  pampered with your love for him
you work so slow on everything hes surprised you actually get stuff done
a little offended that he doesn’t believe in your slow work ethic bc it worked since highschool.
there had been times where he just ask if you’re not ever sick of being at home locked in all day and it stated a very month long fight.
sleeping in different rooms
(LIL ANGST AHEAD)
Tooru can hear you cry from the other room
he didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, he really didn’t. he just doesn’t want you to regret anything- especially moving here with him
you hate it when he questions your life ethics. it makes you feel like a failure and unworthy.
your life is simple and you like it that way but the second he questions it you think that you aren’t doing enough
will 100% sleep outside your door because he can’t sleep alone anymore. he’s gotten used to you being right next to him
you realize that it seems he’s given up so now it’s time to go to the kitchen and get water
but to your surprise tooru is very asleep on the doorframe when you open the door. it’s makes your heart ache just a little bit. he looks tired, his eyes are puffy but he looks so at peace.
Tumblr media
you wake him up to go to bed but he has other plans.
he’s kissing you so sweetly, every piece of skin he can find he will kiss
will carry you to bed and kiss your tummy as your shirt ran a little too high
will start to kiss your inner thigh and pull down your underwear and slowly make his way up to your pussy
you’re clearly trying to shove him off (not hard enough) because you keep closing your legs and trying to push him with your foot
will spread your legs and keep his hands there to he can start eating you out
this is his apology. this his how oikawa tooru says im sorry without saying it. soft pleasuring, orgasmic sex.
his fingers are so deep in your pussy while he’s sucking on your clit. he doesn’t look at you when you cum because he feels like he doesn’t deserve to see it.
you’re begging him to look at you after he’s done fingering you so you can kiss him with your taste this lingering oh his tongue
fucks you in a matting press because when it’s slow and he’s thrusting it all in.... i don’t think he’s seen you twitch and drool so much
tooru is there to pleasure you and when he sees you cry out of the pleasure you know he’ll be forgiven when it’s over
aftercare is even better
he doesn’t make you do anything
he presses you, gives you kisses and over all will apologize verbally when you’re slowly falling asleep in his arms
216 notes · View notes
ramuoto · 4 years
Text
TOP 10 MANHWAs
if anything good came out of 2020, it’s my discovery of manhwas. 
well, it’s not like i’ve never read a single manhwa in the past 15+ years but tbh, the ratio of manhwa:manga i consume on a weekly basis has jumped exponentially this year. previously it was like 1:99 and now it’s like 90:10 LMAO. 
so, just to remind myself that the world is still full of good things, i had to make this list. which i will probably edit in the future, if i can be bothered to. :) 
anyhow, this list was not made in any particular order, just whichever came into mind. it’s loooong so be prepared! (I’ve read way more titles than mentioned but just included the ones worth checking out)
for whoever stumbles across this list, i hope some of these resonate with you and i hope they make you as happy as they made me. 
Tumblr media
pic credits: https://geekculture.co/geeks-guide-to-transmigration-novels-avoid-death-at-all-costs/
1. Ebony
Tumblr media
https://mangadex.org/title/41838/ebony
Bahahah omg he looks evil there! But our dearest archduke is hardly that aww. Soz, I just ripped off the covers of the manhwa cos I can’t find a panel I liked more than another. I mean, this manhwa is a GEM. I can’t even begin to describe this because everything about it blew me away. This is not something you read when you are craving for fluff, or just wanna have something brainless after a hard day at work or if you just wanna have some eye candy lol. This is something you pick up on a weekend, when you have time, because you need those hours to digest, appreciate, clutch your chest, tear a little because you find yourself falling in love with these characters. It doesn’t have any of that cliche isekai, romance, revenge themes going on. It has a solid plot, backed by incredible characters, beautifully woven by the authors and artist with incredible pacing that keeps you on your toes and keeps you looking forward to the next chapter. Maybe I would have been happier if I found it after it was completed lol. HAVE I CONVINCED YOU ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU WANNA READ IT?! like, idk, just go. JUST GO READ IT GDI. 
p.s. it says there romance but naaaaaaah, dont go in with that expectation. :) this story is so much more than that. 
2. Bring the love
Tumblr media
https://mangadex.org/title/44472/bring-the-love
This...this!!! THIS MANHWA NEEDS MORE LOVE. If you need a lot of fluff, a little, ok maybe quite a bit of sadness and tragedy, sweet sweet romance, cutie pies, please, look no further!!! Again, pacing, character development are so important to me and this manhwa aces it. I love the 2 MCs very much. And the side characters too. :)
3.  A Stepmother's Märchen
Tumblr media
https://mangadex.org/title/39474/a-stepmother-s-m-rchen
When I first read this, i fucking cried. like please don’t ask me why. it’s not like its an absolute tragedy but I was just rooting for the MC so much and I really want for everything to go her way. That’s how much I adore this MC!!! I LOVE HER. I LOVE HER MORE THAN YOU DO NORA! HAHAHHA. okay soz. I need to keep this spoiler-free.
Anyhoo, there is nothing typical about this time travel plot. Sure, she goes back to try to undo the stuff that went wrong but phew, she certainly changed things so much everything that comes her way have made it so her previous experiences can hardly help aaaaaaand that’s what makes it fun! I sometimes wish the pacing could be a little more consistent, and there could be more characters I could love a little more wholeheartedly (so i wont have to be in so much despair when i read this sometimes lol) but omg the art, isn’t it pretty?! I’ve re-read this soooooo many times but the art blows me away all the time. And have I already mentioned how much I love her?! I LOVE YOU SHULI! AND I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY!
4.  Lady Baby
Tumblr media
https://mangadex.org/title/34691/lady-baby
I literally LOL-ed when I saw this cover. WHO THE HELL ARE THEY. WHAT LADY BABY?! ehehehe. okay anyway, uhm, this is already incredibly popular. im not sure if i need to elaborate but yes, it’s adorbs!!! i dont think i like the MC as much as i love her family lol. and everyone else who adores her. im looking forward to when they get older. :) actually not really. please stay cute for as long as yall can! but yeah, i do wish the plot can move a lil faster. i want to see more character development in the other kids too COME ON! 
5.  Death Is the Only Ending for the Villainess
Tumblr media
https://mangadex.org/title/47754/death-is-the-only-ending-for-the-villainess
am i allowed to reveal how shallow i am rn? like the previous choices were all like ‘wow-deep-plot’, ‘wow-character-development’ and this one i just included cos of AESTHETICS ALONE?! the novel covers are breathtaking!!! the manhwa art is amazing as well. and the harem is great! LOL. as for plot... uhm... it’s alright. it’s pretty engaging and i quite like the MC, she’s smart and independent and i love how she views them all antagonistically at all times HAHAHHA. her past is kinda... weird though and i do wish they’d stop referencing it. cos... girl why do you wanna go back to reality!!! stay here! it’s way more exciting! 
i love the whole isekai/reincarnate/transmigration theme and this is honestly one of the better, not-so-cliche or cheesy ones HA.
6.  Beware of the Villainess!
Tumblr media
https://mangadex.org/title/47286/beware-of-the-villainess
do you already see the whole villainess theme?! am i suppose to start feeling embarrassed about my choices?! NO! cos this one is AWESOME!
again, another wildly popular title. for good reasons. it’s hilarious, our MC is as real and candid as it gets and LOOK AT THAT BLUE HAIRED BEAUTY. DO YOU SEE HIM?! IMPLANT HIM INTO YOUR MEMORY NOW!
it’s highly entertaining and breaks all isekai-reincarnation-villainess plot stereotypes. definitely one of the titles i look forward to every week.
7.  Who Made Me a Princess
Tumblr media
https://mangadex.org/title/32506/who-made-me-a-princess
what? why did i choose this?
BECAUSE OF CLAUDE OF COURSE. ahahaha. okay aside from the amaaaaaaazing art and the beautiful people, the plot is not too bad. a little extreme at times but it’s interesting enough to keep me going. it’s currently on hiatus though and i was highly annoyed by how the first season ended. (YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENED? NOTHING.)
i hope the plot can move faster in the next season! and that our dearest MC athanasia can you know, finally be a little more useful... like omg just tell lucas already!!! and tbh girl, no matter which guy you choose, i approve. :D 
8.  The Flower That Was Bloomed by a Cloud
Tumblr media
https://mangadex.org/title/37648/the-flower-that-was-bloomed-by-a-cloud
i featured this before, mostly out of frustration HAHAHA. do you see why i chose this cover?! yeah, i support this (unpopular) pairing okay! the other one is doomed!!! no matter what the author is trying to do now!! I DONT SUPPORT IT!!! lol.
anyway, i had to feature this cos the art is unique! and the story is great. :) and i looooooove listening to the ost while i read it. it starts out kinda slow but as the pace picks up, you won’t be able to stop. and you find yourself conflicted at various points. it did win an award for a reason. 
no matter what, i still think dowun is best for her okay. it’s dowun or nothing. he’s devoted to her, we all know that! he just needs to ditch that annoying female guard!!! ok yknw what, maybe nothing is better. :/ *cries*
9.  Solo Leveling
Tumblr media
https://mangadex.org/title/31477/solo-leveling
why do i even bother? this manhwa is popular enough. 
the art is great. the MC is great. i use him and his gang as my wallpaper. 
im just not sure i like how this season’s plot is progressing. :/ but i guess it brings us nearer to solving the mystery in the first leg of the manhwa. i just enjoyed the whole part of him leveling up and now that he isn’t really leveling up anymore... idk. am i hoping for more plot shit like bleach (oh wow now u quincy?)... idk man. anywho, no regrets starting on this series and marathon-ing it to death. 
cross fingers the plot picks up and doesnt get too complicated for its own good.
10.  The Reason Why Raeliana Ended Up at the Duke's Mansion
Tumblr media
https://mangadex.org/title/31606/the-reason-why-raeliana-ended-up-at-the-duke-s-mansion
okay, tbh, by the time i reached 10, i still have like 15 other series i was considering LMAO. i even considered lengthening this top 10 to top 15. but that would just be more of me and my nonsense. so... why did i choose this?
COS I LOVE THE 2 MCs!!! they’re adorable. the plot is again, kinda far-fetched at times (i literally laugh my head off at some parts) but it’s isekai-reincarnation okay! anything is possible in whatever magical crap country you end up in! lol. and i like how straightforward it is... in the sense there’s no 2nd lead. like okay i mean they are there but we all know they have no chance. oops. sorry!
and cos i can’t give up on the other titles i have, imma just list them down, without pictures... cos im tired. HA. 
11. Doctor Elise 
https://mangadex.org/title/29474/doctor-elise 
Kudos to the huge improvement in art style lmao. The good... lovable MCs, engaging plot. The bad... sometimes lengthy, incredulous medical moments (i work in the medical field so i... idk. sometimes this borders on iryu LMAO and i need to remind myself this is romance) otherwise, this is a highly highly entertaining read.
12.  Seduce the Villain's Father
https://mangadex.org/title/46775/seduce-the-villain-s-father
This is another of my ‘father-love’ whims. MC is adorable and ML is handsome. enough said.
13.  The Villainess Lives Twice
https://mangadex.org/title/49644/the-villainess-lives-twice
This is like a lesser version of Ebony and Bring the Love combined HAHAHA. The plot and premise is great and it’s awesome to marathon! I don’t find myself loving the MC as much as I should but the ML is a darling! I just find her a little toooooooo gloomy. Like come on girl, be more spunky! 
14.  The Stereotypical Life of a Reincarnated Lady
https://mangadex.org/title/46790/the-stereotypical-life-of-a-reincarnated-lady
I dont know why I like this so much HAHAHAHA. It hardly has a plot. I just find the MC and ML amusing i guess lol. 
15.  I'm Stanning the Prince
https://mangadex.org/title/45586/i-m-stanning-the-prince
Sometimes I wonder if I should be ranking this higher but I kinda feel this manhwa is trying to achieve too much with an underpowered MC. I love her... but I just don’t like how she’s just a pawn of everyone else and I dont know how she can change this situation of hers. It’s cute though. the MC and ML.  and the ML reminds me so much of american/jap Mackenyu. 
16.  The Villainess Reverses the Hourglass
I HAD TO. the art is so pretty! but girl, dont use the hour glass so much! you look a little too old! i would appreciate it if MC stops basing too much of her moves on the “past” tho like idk you are gonna sound unoriginal soooooon like develop your own thoughts soon okay? <3
17. Inso's Law
ANOTHER ONE. omg. im a lil on the fence regarding this but i like MC too much. and her harem LOL. i dont see where the plot is going either but i just hope for a happy end... ):
18.  Why Are You Doing This, Duke?
HAHAHA. this is sooooo sooooooo cute, i would have ranked it top 15 if it wasnt licensed by tapas tho cos they are a joke. WHY NOT TAPPY GDI. 
19.  Miss Not-So Sidekick
Uh-oh. Is this a top-20 list now? anyway, the MC for this series is GOLD. im not liking where it’s currently heading tho thus the lower ranking.
20.  IRIS - Lady with a Smartphone
omg IVE NEGLECTED THIS FOR TOO LONG. lemme go buy more chapters hahahaha. it’s a tad too lengthy... otherwise i like the MC and yummy ML!
still not enough?
Special Mentions - Okay, these will be unranked cos I don’t think these are that good but probably still worth a read.
I've Become the Villainous Empress of a Novel - this is new, im looking forward to how it progresses wheeeee.
Lady to Queen - It’s a ruthless manhwa. There was a point i started reading all sorts of sadistic content (i was running out of content i swear) and this was one of the better ones. I appreciate the MC very much. the plot now is a little weird and im a bit wary of the MC’s sister... hopefully the ML can be more useful. he’s pitiful though. but dude come on, dont rely on the wrong gal.
Goodbye, In-law - I’m not sure if i like the current progress buuuuuuut MC and ML are cute so who cares.
The Duchess' 50 Tea Recipes - plot is still engaging. MC and ML are cute. i dont know where the plot is heading towards though. 
A Falling Cohabitation - this is interesting and fun but a lil lengthy.
Light and Shadow - the sequel is out!!! i highly enjoyed this entire series!!! i would have probably ranked it a lil higher if i did this post earlier but too many series have overtaken this in my heart lol.
This Girl Is a Little Wild - is the hiatus ending yet? i would add it back to top 20 if it came back LOL. it’s highly entertaining tho. ML is adorable.
The Duchess With an Empty Soul  - pretty nice. MC and ML are a little boring. i think it can end soon. LMAO.
A Capable Maid - it’s amusing how she gets her powers for all sorts of situations lol. the prince is creepy tbh. and im secretly rooting for the other king hehe.
Beware of the Brothers! - it’s cute and heart-wrenching at the same time! not too sure im digging the latest plot development but okay... i’ll take it. they’re all cuties.
Living as the Tyrant's Older Sister - hehehe. it’s cute. duke is kinda silly but the latest chapter made me squeal!!!
The Evil Lady's Hero  - idk where the plot is going but MC and ML are adorable!!!
The Dragon Next Door - HAHAHA. it’s hilarious.
The Youngest Princess - she’s growing uppppp noooooooooooo
Virtues of the Villainess - ginger is hilarious. i dont see where the plot is going tho... and cant say i like the ML yet. i dont even get to see him much, hello?!
The Justice of Villainous Woman - pretty wholesome... i like the MC! (the ML is fine. no one else to contend with so...) can u end already?! lol.
Amina of the Lamp - hey, what happened to this? it’s pretty inconsistent but i do like the MC and ML... and the art...
The Villain's Savior - this is some sadistic shit. i reserve it for when i feel sadistic. i pretty much wanna see MC happy but idk if she’s making the right choices. :/
I Don't Want to Be Empress! - HAHAHAHA uhm it’s getting interesting. i just want ML to step up more... 
La dolce vita di Adelaide - I FINISHED THIS! and it’s wholesome, feel-good and cute. some parts felt a lil extra but ah whatever.
The Black Haired Princess - plot. move. faster!!! otherwise the MC and ML are pretty cute.
The Abandoned Empress - im a lil on the fence but i know how popular this series is. it started out HORRIBLE. i hated the ML so much. and then i found the green hair boy creepy. like MC, you need better taste in boys. it’s certainly getting more interesting now though. so please, continue to make my money’s worth!!!
Lucia - i. am. not. guilty. of. anything. *smut warning* anyway go read the novel. it’s better. hehehe.
What's Wrong with Secretary Kim - i do not need to elaborate any further. 
Past loves 
I created this section just to remind myself, that what i could like one day, i could hate the next LOL.
The Monster Duchess and Contract Princess - I know this is wildly popular. but i lost interest in it once she grew up. i dont think she’s particularly lovable. soz.
Survive as the Hero's Wife - another popular choice. I find the plot kinda boring now. MC and ML are cute though. 
Sincerely: I Became a Duke's Maid - another popular one. again, boring plot. like cant it end yet? oh you mean we need to wait for the real female lead to show up? dont need luh.
I Am a Child of This House - wow. the plot is shit now. and i do not support the MC and her guard. soz. she’s OVERPOWERED tbh. 
This Is an Obvious Fraudulent Marriage - idk what happened but my enthusiasm for this died.
Charlotte and Her 5 Disciples - i don’t get it. i dont get their obsession for her. 
151 notes · View notes
azucanela · 4 years
Text
Tumblr media
DIVINE INTERVENTION [PT 3] OIKAWA TOORU
Tumblr media
DIVINE INTERVENTION MASTERLIST
Tumblr media
SUMMARY: Everything is perfectly fine. Aside from the fact that Iwaizumi cannot know by any means at all. Ever. Oikawa isn’t looking to die. 
WORD COUNT: 2.2k
WARNINGS: unedited, arguing, 
A/N: i know exactly where i want this story to go but i have no idea how im going to get there. anywho, enjoy some of this 
Tumblr media
RULE #1
The rules were simple. And if Y/N was honest, their establishment... made sense. In fact, it had been one of few things Oikawa had done that was actually intelligent— though this excluded volleyball; even if Y/N was annoyed by his antics at times and considered him a fool, his skill in the game was practically unparalleled. And for that, she respected him
Not that she would ever admit it, of course.
The whole purpose was to set boundaries for this little thing they agreed to do— because yes, Y/N had managed to convince Oikawa to go along with her plan. These boundaries would ensure nobody was uncomfortable with the arrangement and hopefully preserve Y/N and Oikawa’s friendship. They’d both seen this trope in an endless number of romantic comedies, and decided that they would be the exception, especially since they were just movies, right? Right.
If Y/N was honest though, she had no idea how she convinced Oikawa to agree to this. But, she’d managed it. However, their little agreement had come with... a few other issues that had to be handled, especially if things were to go as planned. Said plan being to fake the end of their equally fake relationship in one of the coming months and hope nobody ever found out about it. Unless Y/N decided that a little more... divine intervention was called for of course. 
After all, that’s how they got into this mess. And she sincerely doubted the break up would keep away his psychotic fans. Y/N was fairly sure there would be a few home wreckers as well; people trying to ruin their (fake, something Y/N reminded herself of once more) relationship. And those who wouldn’t wait even a week before trying to make passes at Oikawa when they did break up.
So, maybe Y/N would search for ways to extend the fake dating, but only for Oikawa’s sake. Until they found... a more permanent solution.
Right.
Regardless, that wasn’t the only issue they had. This very plan of theirs is how they ended up avoiding Iwaizumi Hajime like the plague.
Seeing as he was both their best friends, there were a few problems here. The first being the simple fact that no matter how hard Oikawa tried— Iwaizumi Hajime had always been capable of reading him like an open book. It was funny, really. Someone so talented in manipulations meets someone who can see past all that, the only other person he’d encountered with such abilities happened to be the one he’d been handling this with. Y/N. 
Her problem was similar. She and Iwaizumi had always been close, meaning he would know. If they slipped up just once, then it would be abundantly clear that they were in fact, not dating. 
It had been one of few rules that they both had agreed on almost instantaneously. Though Y/N found herself curious as to why Oikawa had been so complacent with it, seeing as Iwaizumi was his best friend, she’d been fairly desperate in the moment to maintain her reputation. That and the fact that Iwaizumi likely would’ve bullied her rather relentlessly, and if he did know, he’d chew them both out for being stupid.
Oikawa’s reasoning was similar. Kind of. He had a decent idea of what awaited him if he told Iwaizumi. One thing being a fist to the face, the second was a long conversation that followed said violence. 
Which is how their little fake dating operation became a hide-everything-from-Iwaizumi operation.
“What do we do?”
Y/N looked to him incredulously, shrugging her shoulders awkwardly as she struggled for words, “how am I supposed to know?” She exclaims, still seated in his driveway. Soon, Iwaizumi would walk past to find that Y/N had already arrived and then they’d have to start their walk to school.
This would be more difficult than anticipated.
“I don’t know Y/N, maybe because this is your fault!” Comes Oikawa’s response, hand threading through his hair. “You have the story down right?”
Y/N raises a brow at him, they’d discussed a few possible stories as to how they’d begun dating in secret. Most of the ones that Oikawa had pitched ended up rather... cliché. “You are not making me tell Iwaizumi that Hallmark bull—”
“Well you didn’t offer a better story, did you?” He snaps, throwing his hands up in exasperation. “
Y/N offers him a tight lipped smile, “because I happen to excel at improv.”
Okay, maybe the whole fake dating thing had caused a small rift between Y/N and Oikawa as well. Or just, the entire friend group. Seeing as the pair was at odds, and their mediator was out of the loop, things had become rather chaotic. Very, very fast. 
“You are horrible a acting Y/N.” Comes Oikawa’s response, bringing his hand to the bridge of his nose as he exhaled deeply. “We’re screwed.”
Y/N scoffed, “with that attitude we definitely are.” Though Y/N almost frowns, Oikawa had become significantly... meaner ever since this had occurred. And though Y/N understood that she’d messed up, his behavior was just... off. In an attempt to shake her mind of these thoughts, she grabs Oikawa’s backpack from off the edge of the sidewalk, opening it to pull out a bag of chips he’d brought, “we just need something consistent and simple. Like, you’ve been in love with me since we met and confessed after a lot of contemplation.”
Now, Oikawa was well aware of his new attitude, though he hoped it could be written off as simple annoyance of the situation. He was just looking for a way to handle the simple fact that he was not prepared for this, at all. The thoughts in the back of his mind, the ones he’d buried—or more accurately, thought he’d buried— were resurfacing. And what better way to combat them then by starting a small rivalry until this was over.
“Yes, that makes perfect sense, thank you.” 
Sadly, Y/N had already proved to be one who didn’t really handle such attitudes well. As seen with the girl that she’d punched in the face just a few days earlier. So naturally, any thoughts of avoiding confrontation, went out the window at the sound of Oikawa’s tone. “What is up with you Oikawa, you’ve–”
“Hey guys.” 
Leave it to Iwaizumi to mess up a perfectly good confrontation. Though Y/N can’t help but feel simultaneously relieved by this fact, and stressed as Iwaizumi is here. 
“Iwa-Chan! Iwaizumi! How are you, buddy!” Oikawa exclaimed, making his way over to his friend to pat him on the back.
It felt as though they’d have to be walking on eggshells. Something that had never really been evident in their friendship until now, seeing as they’d all been fairly open. Of course there were a few things, that Y/N couldn’t help but feel reminded of now, almost wincing at the painful reminder of middle school. 
Their group hadn’t been doing so well then. And it had quickly become apparent to Y/N that she was out of the loop, and seeing as she’d been the new addition to the pair... it hadn’t been a nice feeling. 
“Let’s go then?” Y/N asked, looking between the two boys with a tight lipped smile on her face as she rose from her spot on the sidewalk. Opening the bag of chips as she pulled her backpack over her shoulder. 
Maybe it was wrong, but she also felt nice, knowing that for once— she was on the inside. Even though middle school was years ago, Y/N could tell there was something the pair still hadn’t told her. It’d been bugging her ever since they’d arrived at Aoba Johsai.
Alas, now wasn’t the time for that.
“We should probably discuss some things first.” 
There it was.
Oikawa exhaled deeply, opening his mouth in preparation for whatever conversation they were about to have, attempting to decide which explanation was most plausible. But, Iwaizumi beats him to it. 
“I’m happy for you guys.” 
Y/N blanks for a moment before saying, “what?”
Iwaizumi looks to her incredulously as he responds, “what? Am I not supposed to be happy that you two have finally handled the clearly unresolved tension and that—”
“Alright that’s enough, Iwa-Chan.” Oikawa exclaims, laughing breathily as he brings a hand to cover his friends mouth, only for Iwaizumi to look at him dully before shoving him away. 
Rolling his eyes, Iwaizumi adjusts his backpack on his shoulders, “anyways. I just wish you guys had told me sooner but...” He shrugs, turning around to begin their walk down the street and to their school. “It is what it is, now let’s go.” 
Y/N and Oikawa exchange looks, eyes wide as they do so. Both their mouthes gaping open as they scramble to follow Iwaizumi, who finally says, “just don’t let this change anything. And I guess you two can act—” He awkwardly gestures between the pair, “couple-y around me. Just don’t do anything pervy, Shittykawa.” 
Oikawa brings a hand to his chest, feigning offense as he comes to stand beside Iwaizumi, “why would I do anything pervy? Honestly you would be shocked by my dear girlfriend’s actions—”
“I don’t want to know, Oikawa!” Iwaizumi exclaims, shoving his friend away.
Y/N can’t help the way her cheeks warm as Oikawa is launched her way by Iwaizumi’s attack, he stumbles slightly, ultimately walking between her and Iwaizumi before throwing an arm over her shoulders. Though Oikawa’s eyes meet hers momentarily when he does so, a silent question within them. All it takes is a nod and his arm is resting completely on her shoulders and he’s back to his conversation with Iwaizumi as Y/N contemplated all her life decisions. 
Oikawa wouldn’t deny that it had gone better than anticipated but he already knows it’s coming when they arrive at the school and Iwaizumi is practically yanking him backwards as Y/N makes her way inside to speak with her other friends— who’d begun to swarm her almost immediately, questions leaving their mouthes rapidly as they searched for an explanation. 
Y/N can’t help but feel overwhelmed as her actual friends; the ones that are both curious and concerned, seeing as Y/N swore she would never date Oikawa Tooru and fall for her best friend. It wasn’t that there was anything wrong with Oikawa— aside from the fact that he had numerous insecurities and emotions that he refused to discuss even when it was clear everything overwhelmed him—it made sense that so much of the school was practically in love with him when you thought about it.
He had manners, decent grades, was a star athlete, and even Y/N could admit he was attractive. But... he was one of her closest friends and the idea of dating him just seemed... 
Wrong.
Aside from the shock from her real friends, there was the nosiness from the fake friends, the ones she’d never spoken to, the ones who had suddenly decided they were the best of friends and yet spoke trash about Y/N in their free time because she stole their precious Oikawa.
Yeah, the school was just a tad toxic. As if the grueling pressure of academics and intense obsession with Oikawa wasn’t enough of a red flag.
Sometimes, Y/N wishes she had gone to Shiratorizawa. 
“I feel like you know what I’m going to say, Oikawa.” Iwaizumi mutters with a sigh, leaving Oikawa to panic as he meets his friend’s eyes. The grip on his shoulder unnecessarily tight. “I don’t necessarily know what’s going on with you two— just that it’s weird. But I swear if you hurt Y/N in any shape or form—”
“I would never do that Iwaizumi.” Comes his reply, almost instantly. 
Iwaizumi pauses, eyes falling on Y/N who nervously laughs in the distance, her eyes pleading for his help before returning her attention to the group of people surrounding her. “I thought we got past this in middle school.”
“Me too, Iwa-Chan. Me too. But hey, lucky me.”
Iwaizumi rolls his eyes, uncapping his water bottle, “yeah. Lucky you, I’ll forever wonder how you got her to date you.”
“Good question.” Oikawa’s eyes fall onto Y/N, and he turns to Iwaizumi, “now. If you’ll excuse me, I need to go save my girlfriend from all of my psychotic fans.” Oikawa would never admit it, ever, but it had only been a week since Y/N pulled her little stunt and it had become evident that a relationship really was what Oikawa needed to get people off his back.
Things had definitely improved for him, and Oikawa could only wish that he could say the same for Y/N. 
 NOBODY CAN KNOW— NOT EVEN IWA-CHAN. 
Tumblr media
114 notes · View notes
looking4mybambi · 3 years
Text
Tumblr media
Alright soo ik bdsm/dominant & submissive relationships have so many gender roles that differ from couple to couple, and how each person partakes in that role as individuals in a relationship are different.
As people we all like different things as well and we all SHOULD know what we like as individuals and in a real COMMITTED goal oriented unbreakable successful dom/sub relationship each person knows everything that their person likes and should naturally forget about knowing his or her own likes because each of you got that on lock and can please there person without them telling you when its needed and how to do it or what they are in the mood for..
I am a dominant. But for me I'm a bit different from most . Growing up as a kid very familiar with poverty, I didn't have very many friends so what attention I got was being laughed at for having such bug feet being so young plus I was the tallest in my class up till the end of middleschool, I had long lanky arms a good bit of baby fat (as ma use to call it) and long legs with goofy ass knees so I hated shorts because back in elementary where the bullying started, I may be wrong about this but I don't think Walmart could carry any and1 basket ball shorts that covered my knees nor could we afford It honestly. The kids would call me things like "jolly green giant, sasquach, big dumb (especially if I had to read out loud.. I'm not a good out loud reader) big retard or just tard.. that line of name-calling cease to exist come my 5th and 6th grade years.. mind u I spent an extra year in 4th grade soo I was just adding more fule t on the fire for my later years.
My mother, a single mom of 2 terrorists that worked her hardest to make sure we had what we needed and by doing so came overtime hours after working solid 12s 5 nights a week so she now worked 7 12s a week to get her ot in and be home in the morning to feed us and get us off to school so she can relax and sleep. Like any exhausted human, if there's something that can help you feel good enough to work 7 days a week and be able to parent with the bare minimum sleep, I think most would consider the option heavly. And then addiction..... sooo yeah more hell in school. Long story short .. I got tortured in school. It subsided in the last 2 years before I quit my jr year. But anywho my friends consisted of band in 5-6 grade football and wrestling in 7-8 -9-10 (injuries wrecked my entire school also didn't help my popularity non. And lastly jrotc my freshman year in high school. And a ton of females did band and jrotc (basically a free period lol) so I got tight with females in school while the dudes bullied the fuck out of me... I learned how to be a gorls best friend, do hair, nails, make up. Whatever I needed to learn I did... then sports was where I learned that most men are pigs weather its in a locker room. Or at home she another huge plus and can relate to females. I learned how to gossip and and learned any and all kinds of things girls like from fat free foods to why yell what those socks that look kinda like jon boats or canoes yaknow the shortest socks and adult human could even wear def entirely to short to even be related to ankle socks and how do yall keep them things on your feet while in shoes?!?! Some welfare witchcraft type shit goin on there ima throw that out there 🤣 hell my moms almost died one day she asked me how her hair looked after she curled the sides of her hair on either cheek but she curled both sides to the insides of her cheeks and I told her teacher try curling them out it would look better and she was stunned that I knew what I was talking about . Long story short I took so much time knowing whT makes yell tick, physically, mentally, stomachally ;p, definitely sexually.
Sooo on to this i watched ole ma get beet on by men my whole life and when I tried to fight em off her ( almost every fight that got physical between my mom and a man) there i was right i. The middle of the action knot knowing what the fuck ima do next i was only 11 so I took moms beating more than once.
I've been beaten on by females, alot... yea big ole me.. absolutely refuses to hit back. and ill die that way.
All these events me me the dominant that I am today... I'm strong and I will fight even if I don't want to. I am a protector. My person will feel safe, I can't take fear away ofcorse but I promise she won't be fearful of me.
I take care of my person idc what she ASKS of me ill do it. My rules are simple.
1.) Don't fuckin lie to me.
2.) Don't fucking cheat on me.
3.) Fuckin communicate
4.) DONT FUCKIN BREAK RULE ONE!
Lol I wear my heart on my sleeve and am a very passionate dom. I love giving my person attention and I love to cuddle up to movies, I'm even a hopeless romantic sometimes and I cook I love cooking honestly.
Im also into all sorts of shit forced play, cnc role play and love me a good brat that likes to play hard to get ;)
Most importantly im a dominant that builds his relationship off honesty, respect, compromise and the glue that most dominant men now phase completely out...
LOVE!❤
Now lady's can I ask a very simple question.. well this if me telling whoever will read it about the kind of man I am ofcorse with a recent pic of me (earlier today) to show that im not a terrible looking man.. soo why am I single?
All this is 1000% honest I absolutely DO NOT LIE. I will not play any sort of spin games with anyone. Lol hope someone enjoys
5 notes · View notes
selfcareparker · 3 years
Note
(lovely anon) ok so this may sound so dramatic but; let me paint you a picture: i’m responding to your latest message, sitting on the edge of the sofa. i type in “lovely anon” into the search and see this longgg post come up and i’m like uhhh... i scroll down and see the people you tagged and literally. when i saw @ lovely anon. i . cried . like full on tears. my brother goes “what are you doing” “she tagged meeeee” and he continued what he was doing and didn’t care LMAOO but i was so emotional? i love and appreciate you too and aAH IM CRYING!! you’re just really sweet and i didn’t expect it at all and it was really lovely to be a part of something :’)
the kermit pic sent meee but yes yes yes!! when you start uni let me know, lol i’m so excited for you!! let me know how it goes cuz i’m literally hype hahah & yes we will be in our sad corners of the world, missing england but you’re right it’ll be sooooo worth it in the end!!! and oH i’m glad you talk to them lol i truly thought you like haven’t seen them/haven’t spoken to them this whole time😭 that would’ve been awful!
also i totallyyy get what your saying about the english speaking thing. and idk why you’re insecure (well i *knowww* bc it’s not your first language and you’re studying it in college so yuh) but your english is great :)))
lol yeah that makes sense.. my mom took french in college and she remembers NOTHING HDJSHSJ (the fact that you wanna learn MORE languages i- ahh i so admire you.. you literally know so many languages🥺) yea i mean you know a bunch of languages bc you know the base of words lol, but i wonder if because you know latin it’ll be easier for you to learn french? oh- oh wait you said it’ll be easier HAHHAHA
THERES SO MUCH EXCITING STUFF TO TALK ABOUT HDGSJSJSL it’s so wild to me that you can’t watch chaos walking :( i’m a professional hacker tho so i’ll try and find a way for you LMAO (by professional hacker i mean i literally have gotten multiple free trials and i’m pretty sure the hulu police are after me bUT ITS THEIR FAULT BC WHY IS IT SO EXPENSIVE???) i mean the movie was good? and cute? and funny? but yea don’t think it’s gonna be the most fantastic thing haha AND THE DOGGO AWWW (i saw it again today- or my today lol, saturday, aND THESE OLD PEOPLE CAME AND SAT IN FRONT OF ME AND MY FRIEND LIKE ITS A LONG STORY LMK IF YOU WANNA HEAR IT)
SHARK FILMS?!?!! PLEASE READING THIS I HAD NO IDEA YOU WOULD LIKE SHARK MOVIES TOO FHSKSHSHDJDJGAJAYSJS ok so i haven’t seen any of the classics (i’m working on it) but i would probably watch jaws to laugh at it? not like that lmao but like comparing it. OKAY BUT HONESTLY I BARELY KNOW ANYONE WHO LIKES SHARK FILMS AHHH OKAY im adding “the shallows” to my watchlist bc it sounds super good AND SAME AHSJD ANY BODY OF WATER IN A MOVIE I JUST KNOW ITS COMING LMAO watch me not go in the water anymore after seeing that picture HHDJSJ
WHEN I READ THIS I JUST GOT DONE TALKING TO MY MOM ABOUT THE MEG AND THAT SCENE WHERE THE SHARKKK JUMPEDDDD AND ATE THE OTHER ONEEEE AND THEN JONAS HAD TO DO- bro i cannot (i think that one is my favorite because i love me a bit of romance and the subtle romance hAD ME) 47 meters down PHEW could you imagine?? i try not to think too hard about it i’m like “don’t be dumb catherine, don’t put yourself in a dumb situation” (not autocorrect having “dumb bitch” ready i am not lying) and i literally understand... there is no other way to explain 47 meters down
i CANNOT watch horror movies, can’t can’t can’t, i literally hate them i cannot do it!!! the thrill is tempting and it’s cool in the moment but i cant lmao. i don’t have nightmares about scary things (for the majority of the time) but going to sleep i’m like oooohhhhhh shit 🥲 literally what you explained
music !!!! music !!!! music !!!! (u ever write a word and now it looks weird lmao) MY BROTHER DOESNT LIKE MUSIC AND ITS SHIT IM LIKE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU- anyway, my music taste is all over the place i mean......... it’s crazy. earlier today i was listening to meghan trainor’s album “title” oUT OF NOWHERE, but just a few minutes ago i was listening to fall in love with me by earth wind and fire soooo lol .. megan is *chefs kiss*, i’m not familiar with stormzy🙈, harry styles.... IM SORRY IM THAT PERSON but i don’t listen to his solo music EEK i only listen to adore you... and not that frequently... the music video freaked me out... i like niall’s solo music a lot more, which i listen to a lot more. now. one direction. favorite. please & thank you. i have a playlist called “boy bands” and it consists of one direction and the vamps (obsessed with cherry blossom btw) but as you can see my taste is all over the place!! fr fr if i sent you what apple music has as my “favorites” it went from ariana grande to carrie underwood to glee (OBSESSED DONT LET ME TALK ABOUT IT) i mean please if you let me i will nonstop (hamilton HDJSH) talk about music all day😩 & NOOO UR MUSIC IS GREAT HAHSK IM NOT A BIG RAP PERSON BUT DOJA CAT IS MY FAVORITE!!
okay good, i’m glad :) i was just nervous that you did feel that way <3 and GOT IT HAHAJ healthy pressure is always good :’) my friend got me these pens cuz i love stationary and school supplies lol and was like “now you have to write something” soooo yea i feel that! and i saw you posted the ficcccccc literally so proud of you 🥺🥺 i’m trying to decide if i read it tomorrow or tonight..... sleep or a literal beautiful creation made by the sweetest person and is v v nice smut and college!peter and 4.7k...... sleep aint really calling no more.
GIRL ALL OF MY SENTENCES ARE TOO LONG HAHAHAH IN FACT THIS IS TOO LONG SOOO (also why am i 3 days late..😑) anywho it’s 1 in the morning so <33 lovely anon
🥰
oh my god the fact that you cried nearly made me cry too😭😭🥺🥺 (also, your brother LMAO), i wasn‘t even sure if you‘d see it but i immediately thought of you so of COURSE i included you <333
the hulu police lsjsjaiaik, girl i was ready to get a hulu membership when i wanted to watch big time adolescence and i couldn‘t find it anywhereee, and when i got to the payment it said i need a bank account that‘s based in the US or whatever. like bro i was about to pay you!! but i was forced to find it somewhere (and i did, on levidia,— not that i‘ve ever used it because it‘s illegal 😤 i would never!!! i‘d rather support billion dollar companies and spend my money on watching films that i can find for free 🥰🥰🥰 not
i‘ve found chaos walking online so i‘ll watch it som time this week!! also YES TELL ME THE STORY
okay so idk if you watched/are planning on watching falcon and winter soldier but i watched the first episode the other day and they were speaking french (just a few seconds) and I UNDERSTOOD SOME WORDS DLDJDJ and i was so proud of myself. i‘ve only ever learned french with duolingo lol (i only do like 5 mins a day and that‘s why i was so surprised that i understood some of it!!). and yeah apart from latin i feel like italian, german, french and english are all similar in a sense.. i mean obviously they‘re completely different languages but for example there are some grammatical constructions in french that i think i wouldn‘t understand if i only spoke english? so when i translate those things into english you can‘t directly translate them bc you say things differently, but when i translate them into german then it makes more sense to me. idk that‘s something i noticed so i feel like if you already know multiple languages it‘s easier to learn another language compared to if you only know one language and are trying to learn a second one. even if the languages aren‘t similar then i think you get the hang of it easier.
ikd slsjsjs also i don‘t want you to think that i‘m a linguistic genius or anything lmfao, like i‘m only fluent in english and german and i‘m just a wannabe (ew that word) polyglot sksj (yes i had to google polyglot— i do think learning ancient greek would be super cool tho? like imagine studying latin AND ancient greek, whew). and honestly i don‘t think i‘ll ever be fluent in another language bc i don‘t plan on living anywhere other than germany or possibly england and i‘m not dedicated enough to properly learn any other languages esp if i don‘t have anyone to speak the language with. but i still try my best and i just love language/languages as a whole so yeah i‘m happy & just learning as much as i can dkdjh🥰
(I guess language/linguistics are/is my passion (which sounds sooo lame lmaoooo) and the word passion comes from the latin word pati (i think💀) which means to suffer, and in german passion is called Leidenschaft which basically means suffering too, idk why i‘m telling you this maybe you know it already. but ok dumb fun fact, in german you can make compound words with as many words as you like, and the longest official german word is Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz which is a law for the monitoring of labels on beef... this is such a dumb fact but i think about that word like once a day idk why dodjsjsj so... 👁👄👁)
but i‘ll stop boring you with my linguistics talk because truly i don‘t know much about languages but i am interested omg i‘m gonna shut up now.
now water + sharks. (so in non-covid times i always go to croatia with my dad during the summer, and even before ever watching a shark film i was always kind of scared in water.. but after watching so many shark films wldjdj HELP Like you know when you go deeper into the ocean and you can‘t see or feel the ground/floor? anymore.. then i just start imagining sharks. like i can‘t help it i just imagine a shark sneaking up on me or feeling something graze my foot ABD I JUST START FREAKING OUT SSKJSHSJ. idk. anyway kdkdh i do love the ocean/swimming though but the older i get the more i realise how fucking scary the ocean is ( even if we’re gonna disregard sharks)
your brother... what‘s wrong with him? HOw CAN YOU NOT LIKE MUSIC LIKE WHAT THE FAWK
OKAY BUT SAME ABOUT THE ADORE YOU MUSIC VIDEO DLDKDJSJSKSLSLKSKSJSHSH and yeah i have to say harry’s style (styles lol) as a solo artist isn‘t reaaally my cup of tea, and i only like the popular songs from his second album and the first album is only good when i‘m in the right mood (haven‘t actually listened to it in a while though, but kiwi is one of my all time favourites along with only angel but i hate the start, like it takes 40 seconds to actually begin properly). i like mgk and because of him i watched the dirt which is a film about motley crue, and now one of my favourite songs ever is same ol situation and i‘m into rock now lol. +++ justin bieber. I had a justin bieber cardboard cutout thingy😭 i was the biggest Belieber on earth when i was 13-16, but i didn‘t like his last album and tbh he‘s become a bit weird lately, BUT OH MY GOD. i Listened to his new album yesterday and i‘m in LOVE with the song hold on
i really like niall‘s music toooo!!!! And doja cat 😌😌😌😌 And THE VAMPS OG MY GOD. i got to see them live bc they were the opening/support act for little mix and ajdsjskslslsjsjsj. (Also i love concerts, some of the best memories of my life are concerts, i‘ve seen nicki minaj live 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and justin twice and my heart fills every time i think about how excited i was, it was my first concert ever (16th of September 2016 😌) and i was the happiest person alive seeing justin drew fucking bieber (even if i‘m not tooo sure about justin nowadays)
i have a confession? Idk what hamilton is. I mean I‘ve heard about it and i keep googling it but i‘ve never watched it (is it even a film???? or like a proper musical? also pls tell me you grew up with high school musical. i have a few friends who didn‘t and it makes me so sad 😭😭😭 hsm is the best thing to happen to my childhood , the sooooongs— i still listen to some of them every week or month lool they make me so happy)
(Okay wait i was about to recommend some stormzy songs but you said you‘re not that into rap so i won‘t dksksjl)
What you said about my fic AHSLSLSJB (i wasn‘t sure if you sent an ask about it earlier? idk that might have been someone else, so if it was (and you‘ve read it already) i hope you liked it sksjsj i was...... unsure about it. and i have this reeaaallly long peter fic that i started writing in december and that‘s the only peter thing i currently want to write but also i can‘t because idk how to continue kddjj.) but I’m definitely getting back into writing i have a few blurbs that i want to write so 🥰🥰🥰
Oh and pls as soon as you read this let me know: violet or yellow? (it‘s just a tiny thing for my new theme slsksj)
2 notes · View notes
mysticxapollo · 5 years
Text
Tumblr media
hello! hi! nice to meet you all!
akdasldkfj sorry this is so late. i was more busy today that i thought i’d be.
BUT HELLO!!
my name is rose. I’m from the pst area and it has been literal years since i’ve roleplayed. so please forgive me if i’m pretty rusty and don’t seem to know what i’m doing.  like changing my format a thousand times, but i honestly did that a lot before i disappeared from the world of RP.
ANYWHO
here i shall introduce my not so very smol but smol, semi-socially awkward bean, Apollo/Yeonghwa!
°✧。 [ KIM TAEHYUNG, CISMALE, HE/HIM ] IT’S BEEN TWO YEARS SINCE APOLLO JOINED VELIA FROM BROOKLYN, NY, USA. APPARENTLY THEIR NAME IS YEONG-HWA "OLIVER" CHAE AND THEY’RE A MYSTIC. THEY HAVE BEEN FIGHTING AS SOLO PLAYER FOR A WHILE NOW. DIDN’T PEOPLE SAY THEY WERE NOT A BETA TESTER? I HEARD THEY TURNED TWENTY ONE THIS YEAR. LET’S HOPE THEY MAKE IT OUT ALIVE. 
a little shortcut bio while i fix up his bio page:
before velia
little yeonghwa was born in Brooklyn, NY.
there is no deep meaning to his english name oliver. i just like that name.
for the longest time he deemed life to be a bit boring. he wasn’t that great at making friends. always shy and never knowing what to say. leading him to usually being the loner on the side, being a wallflower.
his parents thought maybe an extracurricular activity would help him develop some social skills. and after much convincing, promising the boy got to choose what classes he'd take and they’d go out for ice cream once a week for two months, little eight year old yeonghwa chose to take some music classes.
yeonghwa thought his after-school program would be like private lessons, hoping he wouldn’t have to be judged in front of others. but of course he was wrong. he did fairly well with the piano, but when his teachers heard him sing along to an old jazz song, the switched his main class from instrumental to vocal.
he at first hated it. the class had more students. he didn’t like people. being around them anyways. but over time he found himself content with the presence of others, and his confidence in himself improved. thus breaking out of his shell and becoming more outgoing. he made it his goal to be a singer for his future career, even started a youtube channel.
as high school rolled around, his parents encouraged him to audition for a performing arts high school. he was unsure about it, since it was quite a distance from his house, but once learning his friends from the after school program he went to were going, he immediately agreed.
however, he was the only one from the program to have been accepted. so he was once again alone. he promised to hang out with them still but they kept declining his invites.
being alone didn’t affect him much this time around as he decided he just needed to put himself out there and he’ll have a new, and hopefully better and more loyal group of friends. and he was right. he joined clubs and found new hobbies, such as dance and photography. and in those clubs he found four of his best friends, his ride or dies. one of them being a girl named hana im. the five remained friends even through college.
 during his junior year of high school, his youtube channel began to get more recognition as he posted more dance and song covers, as well as originals. he also uploaded some vlogs that mainly consisted of some weird adventures he and his friends went on.
during his time in college, he double majored in medicine and music. medicine was the back up plan in case his music career doesn’t pan out the way he hopes it would. but his youtube channel became quite popular due to collaborations he had done with others and even officially released a few songs. he was slowly rising to fame and closer to reaching his career goal.
in velia
joined because his best friend hana, aka elektra, convinced their group to join. she promised it would be fun and a great stress reliever. he trusted her and her judgement, agreeing without a second thought.
he logged on, choosing to be a mystic with “apollo” as his username seeing as he admired the god of not only the sun, but of music and medicine as well. (they will all be addressed by their usernames from here on out)
and like always, elektra was right. they had lots of fun.
they had a blast. keyword: had
the reality of not being able to log out eventually took a toll on them. they made a mini guild and did their best to keep each other alive. apollo thought it wouldn’t be so difficult, especially with elektra by their side and each of them getting the hang of things quickly. 
but then elektra left, leaving him and the other three to try and fend for themselves. they started to panic, but apollo managed to keep them all calm, saying she’d be back. that they were all too close for her to just up and leave for good.
everyday he kept checking their friends list to make sure he saw the name “elektra” still there. it calmed him a bit, to know she was still alive. 
the remaining four worked until they had enough money to buy a house, then just took quests here and there if they needed any supplies or food. 
they had a good time, trying to live their lives to the fullest they could while being stuck in the virtual world.
but the good times didn’t even last more than a couple months. 
apollo had lost everyone. all but elektra, as he still saw her name still on his friends list. but she never returned like he thought she would.
his last friend had died in his arms. they were out on a walk when they were ambushed by monsters. by the time they killed them all, he didn’t realize how much damage his friend had taken until it was too late, not giving him enough time to heal and save them. instead, he sang them a song for their final moments.
he sold their house and bought a smaller one in a more isolated area.
he was alone again. he went solo. not having the heart or will to join another guild. also now trust issues. the friends he made in the game were now like acquaintances. and most of his time was now dedicated to leveling up and fighting in the front lines. 
when he’s not fighting, he spends his time in two way. the first being traveling from floor to floor helping those in need. he has considered joining unity a couple times, but the memory of his friends constantly held him back. --second, just spending time in the warmer areas, sun bathing while singing to himself or reading a book.
he’s still a friendly person. just back to square one with his socially awkward state. he’s afraid to get close to people. but give him time and he’ll eventually come around.
Tumblr media
i feel like this is a mess. but i’m a mess. so it’s okay. i think. 
if not, i should have his bio page up soon. (should.)
lmao whale. that’s my little bean. 
i look forward to rping with you all!
if you’d like to plot just let me know! or like this post and i’ll send you a message!
12 notes · View notes
juunshua · 5 years
Note
What keeps coming to mind for me while reading all your analyses (which I love so much btw your commentary is actually so interesting to me) is that one episode of going seventeen where we saw the units practising and we saw jeonghan falter on a line and boo sort of coach him through it. I remember being surprised cause I was still new to svt when I saw it and was expecting jihoon to be the one leading
Wasn’t woozi originally going to be in performance team and hoshi in vocal? At times I feel like we can see that cause while jihoon has a pretty good understanding of music I feel like it doesn’t work as well as it should with the vocal range of svt as a whole (or maybe that’s just what they’re going for? Idk what they are going for if that’s the case tho)
I’m assuming you’re the same anon but if not let me know!i know the exact moment you’re talking about! and i think theyve mentioned it quite a bit but when it comes to the actual team dynamics, woozi’s mentioned that boo is more of a leader than he is within vocal team so i think it slightly has to do with that but also, its just a moment that the camera captured! woozi does also lead vocal direction quite a bit when theyre recording so its hard to really say that /that/ moment was a lack of woozi leading? perhaps jeonghan specifically asked boo for the help, maybe boo was just in close proximity, maybe woozi was busy doing his own thing ahaha, you never know! also id also hesitate to call that a moment of boo /leading/ or /coaching him through that/ as much as it was boo trying to build up confidence for jeonghan! and honestly when it comes to predebut stuff im really bad at the specifics but woozi did have a huge emphasis on dance. i didnt know about hoshi being on vocal team though? cheol i think was one of the ppl supposed to be on vocal but he turned into a baritone so :) ahahaha its a shame bc i think he has a decent grasp on singing despite not really focusing on it at all, and i think he supports and may be the third or tied for second or even second haahaha in svt in terms of vocal technique (and his placement is sO nice i feel like if he took singing more seriously we’d be able to hear resonance from him rather quickly but anywhos i digress). but yes! woozis speciality doesn’t lie in vocal technique at all, and its really evident even within the songs he composes. i guess, i should be careful in saying that because ahaha who knows if hes the one deciding the final key of the song at the end composition is long process but still!! so many of svts songs are so! high! even for tenors! poor baritone cheol during dwc was like ‘this song is so high’ like 5000000 times and even the tenors agreed. it almost seems to be a recurring theme with svt comebacks ahaha at least one person mentions how high the song is. boo mentioned it during ‘oh my’ which has this especially high part in the chorus ahah where he has to hit a freaking db5 in his chest im sorry woozi what. THANKS WAS LITERALLY SO FREAKING HIGH FOR THE ENTIRE SONG LIKE CONSISTENTLY JUST! HIGH! but yeah, he might be able to create pretty melodies, but he definitely is not taking into account the vocal fach of svt members at all. i feel like their songs just keep getting higher too alksjf. pinwheel though! nice and comfortable place for tenors for sure but that just feels like a coincidence ahaha like svts songs are created with musicality in mind and not application to the voice really tbqh. and also…woozis the one who does their demos so hes definitely going to be biased towards whatever he can ‘easily’ sing which may not be the case for all svt members ahaa (ie rip baritones). so yeah i think when it comes to composing, woozi def focuses 100% on the actual musical instrumental part of the composition rather than how his composition could work best with voices and of all the ppl in svt that i wished had at least decent knowledge of vocal technique, i was hoping itd be him because of his large role in the stuff that svt sings but apparently nope :( one thing that confuses me though is that bumzu, a v close collaborator of woozi, does seem to realize the importance of vocal technique…i think he more or less singled boo out during predebut and taught him stuff like that there was a quote from svt project like bumzu saying that he worked together with boo to find out ways to keep his tone while not injuring his throat and like??? that should be the case for EVERYONE?  like why? only ? boo? theres a reason hes at the level he is now and his focus on trying to keep his throat healthy is one of them for sure! and does bumzu like not give woozi some pointers if something might be too high for tenors if he says that he learned about vocal technique? too many questions ahaha. it honestly does seem like musicality takes preference over vocal ability in svt songs though so thats what theyre trying to do imo, just make something sound ‘pretty’
12 notes · View notes
br0adwa5 · 7 years
Text
deh apartment hcs
so i was just scrolling thru Tumblr Dot Com™ and I saw a post that said “does anyone else ever daydream of decorating their first apartment?” (if anyone knows who made that lmk) but anyway i saw that and was like omg if that ain’t alana and then i was like wAIT WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF THEM so here’s this. fyi this is like a college au type thing ish??
(im sotired this is kinda shitty lol)
(also thank u so much for the luv on my last two hcs? i cr ied? les get to the point sorry)
alana:
ok so this girl would obviously have the neatest apartment ever
it would probably be like a medium size ya know
white walls.
lots of white walls.
and there would be like really pretty marble countertops 
her beadspread (or whateverthefuck u call it) would probably be like grey with white little lines on it
in a pattern tho
like a cute pottery barn one
OH
she would so freaking use evan’s discount at pottery barn are u kidding me
like her entire house would look like a pottery barn catalog
anyway
idk if all apartments have this so excuse me if i sound mega stupif 
but she would use the little intercom-buzzer thing to get into the apartment to her full advantage
like if u wanted to even go up there she would legit do a full on background check
(except for zoe)
(zoe would be like “hey alana it’s-” and alana would be like “yOU CAN COME RIGHT UP”
but it would be like 
“hello who is this?”
“alana you know it’s jared. i just texted you.”
“… ok then what’s your middle name”
“aLANA”
but anyway back to what inspired this in the first place
so alana would SO plan her apartment out from when she was like young enough to understand it ya get it
like she would pick out furniture at age six
(her taste would obviously change as she got older but u get it)
and she would literally have it down to the p a i n t color
like she would walk into home depot or whatever and the worker would expect her to look around for like 40 minutes but she’d be like
“hi hello i’ll take seashell grey in the gloss finish please. make it quick.”
(i totally just made that up what the hell is a gloss finish never heard of her)
i also picture her having lots of house plants? like most of them would be fake bc she’s too busy to keep them alive but they wouldn’t look fake
yeah alana’s apartmetnt would be so put together and like clean cut and nice
zoe:
her apartment would be rad okay
i feel like it would be v hipster and cool
not like Hipster™ but like… hipster?
what am i even saying
okay
so she would definetley have a room with yellow walls
like her rooms would be painted cool colors and stuff
but yellow specifically
she just seems like a yellow person
she would have a big wall that’s all chalkboard paint
wait now im really excited about this wall oh my god
like when everyone would go over her house they would all take a chalkboard marker (real chalk makes too much of a mess) and write and draw on it
evan would do little doodles of trees and write sweet and encouraging stuff
connor would either draw a hecking masterpiece or write really small in the corner “fuk u”
there’s no in between
alana would just doodle hearts and stuff
or when she’d be over doing homework w zoe she’d try to teach her math and science and stuff on it
a w 
jared would just draw memes 
i think we can all agree on that one
but annyyywwayy
she would refuse to get anything like store bought mainstream
like she would go to little shops in the middle of nowhere
or garage sales
and get the cutest stuff 
her house would be so homey but at the same time like “wtf why is this so perfect”
l o t s of tapestries
don’t fight me on this
it wouldn’t be the regular mendala ones that a lot of people get
(but she would for sure have a few of those too)
it would be like really cool unique stuff
lots of maps of the world
tie dye
ya kniw
they would mostly be taking up all of the celing space and some wall space in her room
she would so have a polaroid camera i KNOW IT
and she would put them all on pieces of string w clothespins and string them up around her room 
all pics of her frands and stuff
awwww zoe
she’d also probably have a room just for her dog
(btw if u didn’t see my other hc i see her as having a golden retriever named kiwi)
(but anyway)
like it was supposed to be a closet sbut she just didn’t use it
so she was like “well… okay let’s do this”
and evan will spend h o u r s at a time in that room
ugh she would just have the cutest apartment v colorful and stuff
evan:
evan’s apartment would be v small
he llved with his mom the first two years of college but decided to move out because he was feeling like he made a lot of progress and was ready to live on his own (btw is it canon tht he lives w his mom first year of college? i forget lmk)
(but he wasn’t really living on his own bc connor was always over or he was at connor’s place) 
he would have a v little sitting area w a really old tv and a worn out couch that was probably free on the side of the road or cheap from a garage sale
he would have a fridge and oven and stuff but he’d mostly just use the microwave
(ho;ly shit “some people say just use a microwave…”)
(i h8 myself why why why ok moving on)
his diet would mainly consist of ramen noodles
bc he doesn’t want to leave and have to socalize with people at fast food places or the grocery store
but every once and a while zoe would come over like “evan wtf” and make him food to hold him over for a while
(uh hc that zoe’s a really good cook??/)
he would have a little bedroom with a big window in it
and his comforter would be blue with navy stripes (similar to The Shirt™ but not completley the same)
he would have lots of sticky notes everywhere
like ranging from “don’t forget to feed the dog” to “don’t worry about it, it’s probably not a big deal”
and when he was in a really good mental state he would write them and stick them in places he know he’d see when he wasn’t in the best shape
and it would encourage him to keep going
wow that’s equally heartbreaking and adorable
ok don’t fight me on this we all know it’s a thing
he would have plants. eve ry wh ere
like there wouldn’t be a single fake plant in there
but he loved them bc he felt like it made the air fresher??? like it supplied more oxygen in the room which made it easier to breathe when he was feeling anxious??
(idk i can’t really explain it but that’s how i feel when i get anxious so i feel like it would help him too)
but it would range from huge ass borderline trees to succlents the size of his thumb nail
he would have s o many succulents
he would name them all
aaaaaaaAaAAAA
and each of his friends would have a plant named after them
even though it was small he really loved his apartment
bc he worked really hard to be able to pay for it and buy the furniture and stuff
so it was like his baby
yeah that’s my boy evan handsoap!
connor:
connor’s apartment would actually be pretty big
like everything would be super super high quality and nice 
he would so have a recliner chair
you know the one i’m talking about okay
and he would spend most of his time in there
even though he def has a huge nice sectional
(btw most of his furniture is black)
when evan would come over he wouldn’t want to get up out of it
but even always wanted to cuddle
so the first time evan was like “con come over hereee”
connor just scooched over
and evan was like “??”
but just went over to him
and they were kinda squished but they loved it 
bc they were so close to eachother
AW IM SCREECHING
but yeah they would love to cuddle on the recliner
his kitchen would be p nice too
like he would have a weirdly high tech fridge and a really nice oven and stuff
but if u opened the fridge there would just be like a half dranken (that is nOT a word) bottle of mountain dew, a cheese stick, and maybe on a good day some random leftovers
(btw idk why but i see his parents buying him most of the stuff in his apartment,, this doesn’t really make sense when i think about it but i can’t not do it what am i saing now awioehfdlsnk)
his room would be nice
he would have a big bed with a black and white plaid duvet cover
omg evan would l o v e his bed
like evan of course loves his own bed but connor’s is just so comfy
(plus connor’s bed also has connor)
(anywho)
his walls would be like a greyish blue color
but his furniture would still be all black
he would have a big desk and he always kept sticky notes around for evan to doodle on if he ever got anxious
and he has an entire drawer in his dresser just for his hair ties because he has an unhealthy amount of them
at all times
partly because he wants to keep his hair up sometimes
but partly because he always wears one around his wrist to snap when he gets mad or can’t control his emotions
and he always ends up loosing them
oh also his shower in his bathroom would be BOMB like im talking it has one of those little ledge chair thingies 
and the water pressure is a plus
and evan’s shower at his apartment is like sucky so he always just showers at connors
(i mean this in the least innapropriate way possible btw jus clearing that up)
but connor would spend SO much time there
so would evan tbh
so yeh
jared:
ok guys
hear me out on this one
but i feel like jared would have a surprisingly nice apartment??
like,,, actually very nice
they would all love hanging out there when they were all together
the first time he asked them over they were like “… u sure”
they were expecting to walk into something that looked like a super crappy hotel room with garbage all over
but they walked in and were like “jared what the fuk”
because this place was nice
like,, , he would always have the most food out of all of them
(which wasn’t saying much but still)
he would have a big nice couch with lots of extra like beanbags all over
they would all have their own that they used
and his tv would be poppin okay
he would have his old wii hooked up to it
and they would constantly have mario kart tournaments
jared always insisted on being wario
for the Memes™
he would be the only one out of all of them with an amazon fire stick so they would always watch movies all together at his house
and sometimes they would just randomly take it without telling him
(i’m looking at u connor)
and he wouldn’t notice for a few days but when he did he went cRAZY
but anyway
his room would b supa cool
he would have a really nice bed
omg he would have like video game and other nerd stuff posters e v e r y w  h e r e
like everywhere
little to no wall space for anything elsee
every once in a while he would go through his camera roll and print the pictures that he liked the best to hang up on his wall
hear me out bc this is gonna sound weird
he would probably have a dead meme shrine in one of the corners of the wall on the bottom
that he started as a joke with connor and zoe once but it jst spiraled out of control until every dead meme was recognized as soon as it went out
he would have a tv in his room
not as good as his one in the living room but still
he has two tvs what even jared
that’s where he would put his xbox
and he would game all night man
ah i love jared sm
ok that’s it hope u enjoyed ahhahah
520 notes · View notes
ts-akhmim · 4 years
Text
Episode 2 | “GET ME OUT OF HERE ” - Devon
Tumblr media Tumblr media
okay so i filmed a video confessional earlier which is uploading where i basically talked about dealing with being a winner/the tomb and having an idol/potentially wanting to go to tribal pre-swap/deliberately choosing the puzzle/how much i love jake so that'll come at some point after this but just KNOW that came first. anyway just wanted to talk MORE because i have more thoughts. last round i was really conscious of needing to micro-manage my threat level and i think im putting in work to do that? im very concious that i cant play the same game as montenegro because im coming into it from a very different perspective/position. However, one thing I can do this season is transfer my prejury game, because i think it still works. What I need to do is to some extent take a backseat, where I'm not actively messaging people first, and keeping game talk kinda limited (but acknowledging it when people talk to me). Like I have the safety cushion of my idol, and my connection to jake/jordan, and to some extent dan and lovelis? like im not gonna be a target (touch wood) and hopefully if i am my men tm going to keep an eye out for me.... hopefully? it also means im not gonna be pushy about votes im gonna hear names and run with it (as long as its not jake/jordan, or lovelis tbh i get real good vibes from him). but yeah id really love the beauty tribe to go to tribal this round ive literally never spoken to a single one of them so i'd love one of that tribe that is a complete unknown quantity to go home DJDKLFSF. but yis so im feeling good taking a backseat but im gonna ejector seat myself forwards at some point, just got to figure out when to push the button
Tumblr media
Okay so Bodhi left last night and that was really sad. We had nice conversations but i told him that if the rest of the tribe wanted him out i wasn't going to campaign for him. He ended up making his rounds but at the end of the day, no one felt strongly about keeping him. He speaks so well that it took me a night's rest to get my head straight. Also Trace got an alliance together of himself, myself, Scott and Isaac. Bitch i was SHOOK! I am so glad to be likable enough to be brought into someone else's core. So this kind of perfectly positioned myself and Scott between 2 alliances. I believe we're both more loyal to the one we formed before we found out we were going to tribal, but who knows. I did tell Autumn of the news because i figure if we were to lose again. Whichever of Isaac of Trace remains is going to feel on bottom and blow up that Scott and I were two-timing the DADS. Btw that is the dumbest alliance name I have ever been a part of but whatever. The rat pack has also formed and now him and I are in a good spot. I will say that i am nervous that MISS ALYSSA spoke the comparison into existence, but i really hope we don't continue to flop like Luzon did on Cagayan. But hey! If Denise can go to every tribal council in one season and win, maybe i can too. (PS i pissed myself with my score in winterbells but also F*CK WINTERBELLS, thats all, ty) 
Tumblr media
Honestly I’m really regretting not participating in this challenge because I feel like our scores are.......not great. I feel like I could have turned out the puzzle and even winterbells. The flag Lovelis made is super cute and i think will fair well bc it’s very clean and neat. It’s not super creative, but it’s definitely well made. I think even if we went to tribal I would be okay though. Liam seems like an easy enough boot for us. No one seems that dazzled by his contributions to the tribe. 
Tumblr media
i literally am the biggest clown who ever clowned for continuing to overdo it in challenges, if i'm allowed to make it to merge at this point it will literally be a miracle.
Tumblr media
So Bodhi left on a unanimous vote yesterday and I'm glad that it worked out as planned! I definitely felt bad lying to him about it all and stuff, but I think it was the best for the tribe going forward. What does suck however is that we lost AGAIN! And it was actually close this time! I'm actually annoyed that we lost this time because I submitted my challenge at 4PM and the reason why we lost was because the last submission was at 8 :/ like... y'all couldn't get it in any earlier? Plus I'm annoyed because I find myself in the swing position between the DADS and The Rat Pack. Personally I don't trust Trace after finding out he tried to play the Rat Pack off as my idea when it was really his all along. To me, it shows that he'd betray me later on down the line. And the only purpose for "The Rat Pack" is so they feel like they're in the majority. So since we lost, I don't mind voting out Trace. Duncan and I called to confirm that we're on the same page. We also found out that Devon is telling us the same things about loyalty and allegiances and I don't like that. He also told Duncan that he would throw immunities and play idols for him if he needed it, and that Duncan was his number 1 ally. But he said the same exact thing to me. So... that has me a little sketch. But I also think that Autumn/Duncan are a close pair, so I may need to stick close to Devon for the long hall. But if Autumn/Duncan think I'm more with them than Devon, I'll take it. I'm supposed to go on call with the Dads soon. Duncan wants to tell them about the rat alliance so that Isaac doesn't use it as motive to get us out. Which i agree that it'd be a good idea as long as devon/autumn stick with us. Duncan and I both feel like Devon might be thrown off since he always likes to be in control, but not actually being in charge. So we'll need to do damage control when that happens. But for now it seems like Trace is going unless things change. If things go how I would want it to, then Trace leaves tomorrow. 
Tumblr media
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1JKqH3EQMlugIe-lwHMYMG2qoVZ7dvIzr/view?usp=sharing
Tumblr media
Omg!!!!! Another win that makes me so happy . The tribe is all getting along great and I couldnt all for better ppl. I'm hoping soon to get some kind of solid group together. Kendell adam and amiry are ppl I def wanna work with long term at the time. Just gotta see what happens. 
Tumblr media
youtube
Tumblr media
Not much has been happening lately so I might be able to keep this short and not ramble on and on like i usually do (ill still end up writing a novel probably) yippy yay it's day 5 and everything is still all smiles and giggles over here because we've won yet another immunity!! kinda boring tbh but obviously im happy we won immunity because now that buys me one more day and at the end of it that's all i care about. I kinda did want the brauns to go to tribal however instead of the brains because i just really would like my beauties to get a nice foot hold and a lead in the game, i actually enjoy taking to some of these people, and im trying my best to talk to as many people as i can, which anyone who knows me knows isn't the easiest thing for me, i was reading some of my old confessionals from both my past games and the one thing i consistently got dragged for was not being as present with people, which granted i did improve a lot on last time around for sure, but i still got work to do and im realizing that more each day when i have no urge whatsoever to talk to anyone (don't worry, it's not you, it's (crippling depression) me! I understand socializing is part of the game and i do think my social game is my strongest asset but to me i like to think of my social game as a more distinct kind, im more elusive and i like to be that, if you leave them wanting more dahling they'll keep you around, i dont like to show all my cards, and that's a quality that i reflect in both survivor and life, and it has advantages and disadvantages in both but ANYWHO despite all that dare i say i think im still doing *decent* ? I'm making it a priority to reach out at least once a day to *most people (AJ, Augusto, Amir, Austin) are the ones ive probably had some of the best conversations with where it was the most natural and just flowed you know, and still is on day 5, and with kendall ive had some talks with her i do like her but idk i get this vibe she's kinda holding back when talking to me, and ESPECIALLY same with connor? we only had one private conversation and he gave me about a 3 word response, and if you havent guessed by now i like elaboration or at least a lil bit of personality when you talk, no shade just an observation, so that's a small red flag im very much a person who matches energy, one of my go to's in survivor is being open to the possibility of anything, ill always work with anyone who will work with me, and i think thats how everyone should play so hopefully the people ive been talking a lot to feel similar but i guess we'll have to wait until a vote of some sort to see about all that.. I still havent heard any idol talk or even game talk quite frankly so im guessing people are just still keeping the friendly facade up..... or ...... is it me?? am i the one on the outs looking like boo boo the fool or is that just my paranoia getting to me??? im not gonna send myself into a tizzy about getting voted out when we're not even going to tribal i- lemme calm down. If i had to guess I'd say Kendall, Connor, or Amir have the idol probably but sounds like a mystery for another day because im DONE im clocking out for the night until other people wanna wake up and play the game too oop final note: ok but it would be sick and twisted if it turns out they are all playing the game just without me and im the first boot of the tribe 
Tumblr media
Waking up on this glorious Day 5 with a new perspective. I originally applied to be on the brains tribe and was shook when I got brawn because let’s face it, my arms are akin to overcooked spaghetti noodles. BUT my tribe is so much stronger than the brains. I’m hoping for a big name to go to shake things up. AND I’m not really looking to swap onto a tribe with Trace or Autumn due to our past game history. Love them both dearly, but it’s gonna be a no from me. 
Tumblr media
okie so! update from me is i think im doing okay. like i think the benefit of no dua lipa cave is you can just build connections with everyone, you aren't voting someone out every round so why not capitalise on that? i'm so afraid of the fact that i'm overdoing it in challenges like i really need to calm. down. but im reassuring myself with the fact that in the first challenge i only was top because i did like... one more thing than others like its not thattt big of a deal? my puzzle time was clownery but hopefully people don't pay attention to it? im getting very anxious about overdoing it in challenges, but my thought process now is like. i need to act like people have an awareness of it, without getting kinda consumed by my anxiety about it? idk im hoping since most of these people don't know me, they wont notice me doing good in the challenge but truly who can be sure also am really just liking my tribe? like jake is ofc a king, i love jordan (who im gonna talk to later, he is the only one i feel like i have to talk to today), i also really like TJ who i was super harsh on at the start for no reason, i get good ally vibes from lovelis, liam m is super sweet even tho he is kinda inactive and dan is so fun (plus he told jake that he speaks to me one of the most so we love that!!). i've been trying to figure out what i even do about a lot of the super old school players that i have no connection/point of reference with? like people like scott, adam, kendall, aj i have truly no basis with? thats whats so scary about a swap, is at this point in the game i know 10/20 people left aka the brawn tribe + duncan/isaac/autumn, and like 10/20 isnt bad... BUT then the other 10 aka the beauty tribe + trace/scott/devon i have literally no connection to which is super scary JAKSDFA. im just real afraid of a swap. just swap me with jordan/jake/autumn/isaac PLEATHE. im just a pile of anxiety this season idk what to do im like frozen because of how scared i am... maybe it'll be all fine
Tumblr media
Well, that was a close one. I struggled with that comp all day and I feel like absolute shit that I only got our team that 1 point. To me, it's inexcusable not to have be able to help my tribe as I wanted to contribute and make sure I made my worth known. So now I'm just this paranoid mess that I would have been in trouble had we gone to tribal. It's been hard to talk to some of these people or for most of those who I do talk to, I just don't really know where there head is at. I'm not sure if this is just a really guarded tribe, or if I really should be concerned. So I don't know what to do just yet. And that's not a feeling I like when playing TS.
Tumblr media
Not gonna lie, I’m pretty sad that Bodhi left the game like he was so active pre-season so I was expecting him to do his best to go super far and maybe he did? I don’t know, but I did want a chance to actually get to play with him in TS but we keep passing each other by! I hope he is doing good despite how he might feel being the first boot yknow but yeah <3 
The way I absolutely flopped with the idol system stuff is all types of funny and sad at the same time like I REALLY thought I did something only for it to be part of the challenge… That being said, Amir did tell me that he has a theory the idol system might be based on numbers which is interesting! I am super thankful he decided to tell me and we went on this long talk about how we are each other’s #1s which is super cute! I really do trust Amir and I do want to go far with him because he’s awesome but that being said, my #1 is me like I promised myself that I’d be selfish this time around just because being the selfless person I am hasn’t gotten me a win but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. We did go over a lot of stuff in terms of tribe dynamics and we both kinda agreed that AJ would be the first boot from the time if we went to tribal, we like our alliance with Kendall/Connor, we both like Adam and we both think Austin is sweet/genuine even if we don’t talk to him tons so yay for that too <3
I am SO trying to sell the fact that me and Kendall are a duo to Kendall which is funny to me idk hjfkds like she did approach me super early on about aligning but I do have the tiniest feeling she did that to mostly everyone but I’m trying to pin us with each other to her so she trusts me more, especially since I do feel as though she is the best connected on the tribe. I even called us Crystal Cox (me bc blazing speed and challenge flop ofc) and Ken(dell) ghfjdksl, I’m doing the most but yeah, I just want Kendall to see me as her #1 in the game on the off chance anything happens yknow?
Austin thinks I’m his #1 which is really sweet? I do like Austin even if it is hard to talk to him sometimes but hey, that happens. He told me that he’s really glad I’m on this tribe (which I have heard from basically everyone especially Adam and Amir which makes me feel cute omg) and that we might need to get a group going soon. I was like…. Tea but I also don’t know how quickly I want to get an alliance including Austin going just because it’s like… do I reveal that Austin and I are close-ish and be seen as a social threat? That just ain’t cute sis! But yeah, Austin told me he also really likes Kendall and Amir and that’s awesome that the two people I feel the closest to are ALSO doing THAT but at the same time, I want to be the one doing THAT the most because I’m greedy (by Ariana Grande) so it’s something to keep in mind! 
The way I absolutely flopped at that puzzle… this is why I’m a Beauty cause a sis ain’t smart to complete a puzzle and I’m not brawn-y enough to do well in a challenge hgjfdk BUT that being said, Hagthor beat the thots and apiss and I couldn’t be any happier! I do wish Brawn lost over Brain but yknow, you can’t have everything go your way (‘: it’s funny how I slayed the last challenge and flopped this one tho like a bitch really lacks consistency huh ghfjndmks
Tumblr media
Ugh fineeeee since I've been called out... by myself. I guess I'll do the bare minimum. So we won immunity!!!! Wooo!!!!!! Low-key though through out the entire process of making the flag, I just kept thinking darn I wish we voted out someone last tribal because drawing 7 people is annoying... watch me get voted out next tribal council lol. That would be quality foreshadowing. Today I have two goals. 1. Figure out what the method of entering the tomb. I intend on getting in contact with Augusto or Connor for that one. Augusto because he is low-key my number one. Connor because I feel if anyone can solve it he probably could. 2. Set up group chat with me, Augusto, and Austin. So Austin can feel a false sense of reassurance and Augusto and I have options. Write more later maybe.
Tumblr media
Honestly im feeling kind of trepidatious going forward which is a little wierd, i just dont feel like ive gotten my footing yet in this game. I think like, im in a good spot to be fine on this tribe because of my social game and how I contribute in challenges, but I dont know if I feel good about anything longterm just yet. What really is bothering me is the tomb. Its gonna be round 3 tonight and I haven't made any more progress on getting in than I have night one. I feel like I have a lot of pieces to this puzzle but nothing is fitting together and its bothering me. I'm also a little upset that if we lose, I could see Liam being the target and I can't see my self risking my position to save him if he cant save himself. He has my name on his wiki page its an obvious association to me, and while I think hed be loyal to me, I'm just wondering honestly if him as an ally is worth the target it may bring. Im cautiously moving through the beginning of this game with a lot of unnease and hopefully I find some steady ground soon.
Tumblr media
I am annoyed that we are yet again at tribal. I played so fucking hard at winter bells but of course someone on another tribe got like 238593277 billion which threw us back into tribal... So annoying truthfully. But it's alright, I should be able to make it out alive. I want Devon to go home. But I also don't want to let my guard down. This vote is important for a few reasons. The first reason is that our tribe is very close, so I am nervous that lines are going to be drawn in the sand. The second is that, after this vote, we will be down to five, making 3 the majority. We have an alliance of 4, and lord knows that when you are down to 5, whoever feels like 3 and 4 of the alliance are most likely going to try and rope in the 5th person to get rid of each other. So my plan is to make Isaac and Scott BOTH feel as though they are my number 1s so that they actually stick to our alliance of 4 thinking that I will be keeping them both if we lose again. This is the only way that i can see it working, but idk. I feel bad if Devon ends up going because he's a nice guy, but we have to make choices about strengthening our team, and then I have to make a choice about strengthening my place in the game. Hopefully this doesn't come to bite me in the ass.
Tumblr media
Things have been going pretty well for my tribe! We won the first immunity challenge and that really seemed to boost tribe morale. Granted, these past couple of days I've been quiet since I'm trying to boost grades that are literally 0s into something manageable before I graduate hehe. I've tried to keep up with people through small conversations, which seems to work better for me at the moment until I get myself together. Adam wants to create an alliance with Augusto and Amir, which I'm totally for. I understand, though, that he doesn't wanna do it immediately since there's really no urgency to? We didn't go to tribal, so why did it matter! That excuse aside, I do hope that us holding our breath to say something doesn't bite us in the ass because these are people I want to work with! I wanna get something going with Kendall as well hopefully, since I adore her! Earlier, I stated that Adam and I (Adam, really) found our way into the tomb and both flopped in the questions. Adam took another stab at it and found out we've been bamboozled! Someone beat us to the punch and has whatever contents were inside the tomb. I'm assuming it was an idol, but who knows what else is in there! It kinda made me lose motivation to keep searching inside but when in Rome? I'll probably end up trying again despite knowing the end result just because I wanna prove I can be a smart cookie as well. I also didn't gloss over this but I'll mention it really quickly, but I'm sad Bodhi went! He was one of the few people I was familiar with on the other tribes so it's unfortunate we aren't going to be able to connect with each other this game. A king has fallen. In lighter and more recents events, my tribe crushed the second immunity challenge. Kendall stunned with her artistry and I'm still gushing over how cute everyone's character was. I kinda like decimated Winterbells, but I've always been good at the game, and Amir did really well in the scavenger hunt. Augusto and Austin did really well in the puzzle also, despite their lack of confidence in offering a strong performance. We appear to be THEE tribe to beat honestly and I'm loving that. I love our tribe! I LOVE OUR TRIBE! It really would be a tragedy if we aren't able to keep up this win streak we're manifesting. 
Tumblr media
Sorry for not writing this sooner! Been having a bad depressive episode for the last couple days and it makes me unmotivated to write c': I feel like a flop so far in this game, not because I submit shit scores, but because I find it exhausting to connect with some of these people. They're all very nice in their own special ways, but interacting w some is like pulling teeth, and I guarantee they feel the same about me, which I would expect. That being said, I hope we keep winning, cause I don't have the energy to go to tribal right now.
Tumblr media
Heading into a second tribal council, there is becoming less and less room to hide. I am struggling to hold my own against the other tribes when it comes to competitions, but thank goodness it's a numbers game. If everything goes accordingly, I am taking a backseat this vote and allowing a 4-2 vote out when it comes to Trace. I appreciated Duncan coming to me with the alliance chat information with him/Scott/Trace/Isaac, but didn't like how Autumn needed to tell me first. Shows that I really can't trust Scott/Duncan after a swap comes up. In regards to Scott, he outright didn't say anything. I like him and all, but it was a slimy move to say the least. He only said something because he HAD to vote out someone in one of his two alliances. This group will be dumb as hell if they let me swap. I'll flip on them as soon as possible and invite anyone into my alliance. The tribe swap is where I made my 'Slithers' game infamous last time, so I'm hoping for a similar output. Don't forget: I swapped with the minority last time in Guyana (shout out to Jess), so I'm not worried about the numbers and how its split. ALL I NEED IS A SWAP OR TWIST. GET ME OUT OF HERE. 
Tumblr media
youtube
Tumblr media
Thank God we won that based on the tiebreaker, but yikes I didn't think my flag would've tanked so hard. Guess I've gotta get better at perfecting my craft huh, but at least we're safe. I feel nervous on this tribe to be honest, because I think I'm the second to bottom on the totem pole after the other Liam, so it isn't reassuring that if we lose twice I'll either be gone, or I could even be gone at our first tribal if he's got a solid alliance going...the only alliance I have right now is with Jordan and I don't really know where I sit with everyone else, but I'm afraid of overplaying... ugh so annoying! I think I just need to force a couple of game related conversations with people to build up some trust, just hope it wouldn't paint a target on my back for trying I guess...
Tumblr media
oh gorl, some of these people on my tribe really think im just the clown of the tribe and cant put two and two together, well guess what, IM NOT. So Amir messages me, which nothing out of the ordinary there, ive been talking to him every day so far for the most part like i said we're a little familiar with each other from our pasts, but i was VERY surprised today at what had happened... what had happened was....he starts talking the smallest bit of game with me, basically he just said, "is it me or is everyone really quiet here?" and so i just agreed with him and i said yeah i dont think people are talking game yet which is a little weird, and then i threw the TINEST tea crumpet out there and i said "yeah ive talked to some people so easily like you, but then there's others who.....i cant say the same for" and i was absolutely hinting at connor/kendall just because i havent had the longest convos with them, which no biggie, but THEN about 20 minutes later i get a message from CONNOR of all people saying "hey adam!" ..... obviously im glad to talk to him and im all for getting to know everyone, but my instincts immediately went off and told me it's a little sus....how not even a few minutes ago i was saying how some people never talk to me and then out of no where the one person i was mainly talking about messages me?? Coincidences don't exist in survivor. Now I really have no choice but to think that amir in someway mentioned to connor that i said theres some people i havent talked to at all and that he probably needed to work on that.. which is true, but cmon. i know the tribe brain cell is missing but at least put a little thought into this and message me later tonight or not right after i say it?? I'm not sure if they have any type of past connection and while I definitely do wanna keep building my relationship with Amir, this will definitely make me question him a little bit at least until i see how some votes fall when we eventually go to tribal. Amir also told me he's had the most convos with Augusto, which is funny because thats exactly how both me and aj feel about augusto, which tells me augusto is really playing the game rn, and while thats someone i want to work with, it's also someone i need to be extremely careful with if we're still playing together down the road. plot twist: connor messaging me has absolutely nothing to do with amir and i just made this whole conspiracy for nothing but idk.... it's a conspiracy IM interested in.
***last add on because i forgot to say how the hell im gonna HANDLE this amir/connor situation... im keeping my eyes on it incase theyre in kahoots and also if they think im that dumb then clearly they havent watched me play before, which is great for me but bad for them, you cant trick a trickster try all you want, There's nothing I love more than being underestimated in survivor because it kinda makes it a little easier to play and gives me more options, so sure ill keep up my fake smiles and act like we're all fine and dandy, ill play dumb and wont even act like im onto them but i absolutely am and ill be ready to make my move the second it seems right 
Tumblr media
Ugh I feel so DIRTY. I feel so GROSS. Poor Devon, truly. I spoke with Autumn and told her about Devon, and she was in without a fight and told me that it should be 5-1. And then Devon came to me and was like... we all good for the vote tonight? And I'm like ................yes? Lol. I'm good, you're probably not. ugh, this is the part of this game that I hate. I want to never lose immunity ever again, let someone else break someone else's heart!
Tumblr media
Something about Kendall is so chaotic and terrifying and I can’t put a finger on why.her aligning was her talking to me for the first time in a day saying “let’s align” and created an alliance chat without even asking who else should be in it which leads me to believe her Augusto and Connor already have a trio and I was the 4th. Are all these focking people playing me?? Like i still cant tell if this is a real alliance but i want to believe it is and not a bluff to vote me out. But also like why even do that, the only person on this cast that I trust and have played with, bodhi, has just been voted out. I’m a free agent and I can help that alliance make it far in the game, but they also have lots of relationships on other tribes so like I might not even be that valuable to them. I mentioned to Augusto about the numbers on the blog, hoping to create more trust because I really really love him and want to trust him but I’m still just so damn unsure. if we lose this immunity and I get one bad signal from any of those 3, if they slip up even once, I won’t hesitate to align and gather the minority. But if they are playing me properly, then kudos to them! 
I am just happy i have the idol i am going to put it in my ass. 
me when the brains tribe only has 5 members left http://prntscr.com/s8y76g
Tumblr media
You know what? https://66.media.tumblr.com/b7b4accba586ad321141b6ba80d69044/tumblr_omule3fwZC1w1swfno1_250.gifv I'm mad but I'm not tight because that same alliance that Duncan and I orchestrated is the same alliance that will get us through. So do I enjoy going to tribal? No. And do I enjoy knowing that Trace created an alliance w/ everyone except me and Devon? No. But the Dads will prevail and I trust Scott and the gang. I mean Ducnan is family so as long as we don't go it's fine. But Devon is my baby so absolutely gotta kill for him. That's what keep em close hahaha But no the Trace vote is a dream come true that I only crossed my mind once and STILL got manifested. Like Duncan suggested it and I said you got it because Trace will be the FIRST to rally all the white boys against me in a swap. Cute or not, Trace will kill me I'm convinced. Like something in my spirit told me not to trust Trace and low and behold: Duncan reveals that alliance to me on Day 3. So confirmed, Trace is leaving so that I don't fall to the bottom of the tribe. But it's all good- Isaac listens to Fleetwood Mac and watches Schitt's Creek so he's a good guy. And Scott is literally a cinammon roll who's too busy to snitch or flip. I don't have time to discuss how much I love Duncan or Devon so we're tabling that. Anyway If y'all need me I'll be doing this 4 part immunity challenge that determines whether I make Final 3 in the other org I'm in so try not to need me lmao
Tumblr media
okay so... we aren't going to tribal but its still kinda messy on brawn beach. i kinda have felt this energy for a while, but i don't think jake and jordan have enough trust between the two of them for us to be a continual three person alliance. jake is a very reactive, gut-impulse kind of player which is honestly to his benefit since he is super perceptive. however that also means he is quick to be anxious about stuff in the game, which is the same as me and that is why we click. BUT. he thinks something is up with dan/jordan and honestly i see that and feel it. jordan keeps hinting at dan being the one to loop in and i think that does say something about them having some sort of game dynamic. however, jordan is maybe downplaying that relationship which is scary KLAF tbh i still like jordan and wanna work with him, but i do 100% have to keep tabs on him, his social connections could definitely become a problem if he has other priorities over me! so i think i just have to make sure im a continuing priority for him, so i have to find some sort of information to bring to him (maybe when dan proposes the alliance of me/jordan/jake/dan to me ill run to jordan and be like hey did dan suggest this to you how do you feel) to solidify that sort of trust? idk... i want my j-men to stick together and they ARENT. maybe i need to solidify stuff with TJ specifically more, he gives good ally vibes? but ya... its a mess tm
Tumblr media
youtube
Tumblr media
youtube
0 notes
noxiim · 7 years
Note
(1/3)Okayyyy so i mightve sent a few asks abt this before but this topic is really now bugging me cuz i have depression and im sensitive to like everything. Im starting to take this "not getting notes on my art" thing really personally and i know it sounds childish (and i laugh at myself for it) but i cant help but get upset when i spend so much time and effort and get like no feedback. And i know people say not to draw what u love and not for attention but honestly i dont even know what
and i dont even know if im drawing what ilike sometimes. Yeah i love bts but i dont know if i like what im drawing or ifim just doing it for notes???? And i have a lot of anxiety too and thats wherei feel like im taking this too personally. Cuz im starting to think that my artdoesnt get notes cuz its straight up not good which leads me to think ishouldnt even try to pursue a career in art anymore. But im not good atanything else so wtf am i gonna do if i dont succeed in art???? Like i said i laugh at myself for thinking like this and iprobably sound like a fuckin child but i cant help it???? Like i think my artis decent???? But maybe its not???? Idk like this was really hitting me todaycuz i feel like im wasting so much time and im probably gonna be one of thosepoor college students cuz i decided to focus on art more rather than taking ajob cuz i thought i could make money off of my art but yknow clearly its notgoing so well and im scared for my future U dont have to give advice to all of that i just needed tolet that all out 
Aw dude don’t worry I get what you mean,I actually experienced something similar when I first started posting my art totumblr, and even recently when I first started posting bts fanart. It’sperfectly normal to want recognition (in this case in the form of notes) forsomething you worked so hard on!! I think one of the major issues with postingto such a big fandom such as bts though is that there’s so many peopleproducing content at any given time, that it’s incredibly easy to get drownedout. Especially since tumblr changed how search and track tagging worked, itmade it that much harder for people to get noticed for their content.
When I first switched to drawing for bts,I found it hard because I also focused a lot on my note count. For someone whowas originally well established in a previous fandom, the move to bts was quitea jarring experience. I had built my following on tf2 art, and used toconsistently get a couple hundred notes, but one of main reasons why I left wasbecause of the dwindling of note counts. When I first left, overwatch had justcome out and a lot of attention shifted towards that game away from tf2, andalthough I still love the game, the dramatic decrease in notes on my art fortf2 really made me sad and I ended up deciding to leave the fandom after 3years of drawing tf2 art. I hopped around a bit, before eventually getting intobts. Even then, my first few pieces (they’re not on my #bts fanart tag so mostpeople wouldn’t have ever seen them) either got no notes at all or only two orthree. It was easier for me to establish myself in a fandom such as tf2 back inthe day since it was such a small, tight knit community with limited contentcreators, but now with bts there are so many more people and it just seemedhopeless for a while and I lost motivation in my art. I stopped wanting todraw, since it felt like nobody cared. Art is the biggest hobby I have, solosing my confidence in my art was crushing.
Now you might be wondering how I got towhere I am today. I’ll be completely honest with you. For me, I highly doubt Iwould be anywhere near where I am if it weren’t for networks. I had neverjoined a network before, but decided to join armiesnet and jimin network one daywhen I saw that applications were open. I got accepted, and I joined theirrespective group chats too. I met lots of great people on those chats, and madea lot of new friends which was nice after having moved fandoms and lost touchwith many previous mutuals. I’m so glad I joined networks, because not only doyou have the chance to make mutuals who will support you and your art, thenetwork blog itself also reblogs all its members’ content which gives youexposure to members of the network through both the network tag and through thedashboard. It’s a perfect way to get started, rather than hoping that somebodywith a decent following will happen to stumble across your work in the tags oneday and reblog it.
That being said, unless you’re like somesort of godly human being I don’t think we can ever get over how note countsfeel as an artist. We need something to gauge people’s response to our art, andthat tends to default to note counts. I can assure you that the feeling of disappointmentwhen your post doesn’t get as many notes as you want/expected it to is a thingpretty much all artists on this site shares. People always say “you should drawfor yourself, not for other people” but that’s the equivalent of like say themona lisa being painted and then left to rot in Da Vinci’s closet or something.The whole point of art is sharing your ideas/love for something through yourdrawings with other people, and so it’s perfectly normal to want therecognition you deserve for working so hard and putting so much love into yourcraft. When it feels like you’re all alone, you have to remember not to giveup. Creating art in such a big fandom can be unforgiving, but just rememberthat your art is never the one at fault. It’s all about finding that littlegolden window of exposure, whether it be through one big blog or a couplesmaller blogs reblogging your work. Those kind few people will be what helpsyou grow, and you have to keep posting for that to happen. If you water a plantbut it doesn’t bloom the next day, abandoning it will get you nowhere. If youjust keep going, keep watering it, results will come. Keep reminding yourselfthat you’re doing well, and you can compare older art to your current art tosee the progress and keep you motivated. Don’t force yourself to draw if youaren’t feeling it – art is something that should make you happy. I used to drawbecause I felt the pressure to put out content, but that just resulted in mefalling into a negative spiral of art block, limited motivation and generalunhappiness with my art as a result. Remember that there’s no such thing as adeadline when it comes to posting art on tumblr – work at whatever pace suitsyou and if anybody tries to rush you, shut them down. You’re the artist, youget to choose what you do with your art, how you do it, and how long you spendon it.
If you truly have your sights set onbecoming an artist full time, then by all means go for it! I can’t give muchadvice in that area since I only plan on keeping art as a hobby, but justremember that art school is always optional. In the end, working as an artistis all about the portfolio, not where you graduated from. It’s more importantto work on your art than it is to get in to an amazing art school. Sure, artschools can be useful, but in the end they are simply tools, sort of like atutorial rather than something that will magically turn you into an amazing artistwith amazing job offers. At the end of the day, it’s all up to yourself to workhard and promote yourself. Since art is all about reaching different audienceswith your work, promoting yourself is essential, even if it’s just casualfanart on tumblr. Feedback can’t come without exposure, and exposure can’t comewithout self-promotion.
Lastly, remind yourself that there’s nosuch thing as ‘bad art’. That might sound like a stupid statement, but inreality art is a constantly changing thing. There is no pinnacle of perfection,no model artwork that represents the most perfect drawing out there. Everyonehas different styles, everyone has different approaches, and most importantly,everyone is still improving. I’m still learning and trying to improve my ownart, and there’s no shame in that. It’s easy to perceive someone else’s art asbetter than yours which would lead to some self-critical thoughts, but you haveto remember that the other artist is probably looking at their own art andpicking it apart, thinking “aw man there are so many mistakes here.” It’s fineto make mistakes, after all, that’s how we learn. Just because we see mistakesin our own art doesn’t mean that everyone else will too – nobody looks at artand their first thought is to list all of the mistakes present. As long as youare aware of what you are less confident in and actively work to improve it,you can quickly surpass even the people you look up to.
So yeah, sorry that this is hella longlol, but in all honestly I can understand what you’re going through. It’seasier said than done, but even though it might feel hard - don’t give up. Youmight feel like you’re not getting anywhere at the moment but I assure you thatif you just keep going, things will only get better. That’s the thing abouttumblr, if you keep posting art your audience can only grow. For now, I would definitelyrecommend joining some networks, and making some friends. It’s not uncommon forpeople to promo their own work in the network chat occasionally, as long as youdon’t spam haha
Anywho, I wish you the best of luck withyour art journey. If you need me you know where to find me 💕💕💕
42 notes · View notes