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cosmicdream222 · 1 month

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Some of my manifestations from last week (with photos)

Surprise gifts

My bestie A and I regularly update each other with about our daily plan for affirming etc to keep each other accountable. I said I was manifesting VIP treatment, put on some subs and affirmed while I was making breakfast (yes I’m not a morning person and make breakfast at nearly noon 😭)

Not even a half hour later, I received a surprise delivery from Amazon:

My friend L, who lives out of state, sent me food and new bowls for the stray cats I feed, and treats for my cats (Stella & Panini are my cats’ names 😹)

VIP treatment

That evening I worked a brand ambassador gig that I booked only a couple days before. I’ve been avoiding working as much as possible lately lol but this one was nearby and paid well. It happened to be a giveaway event partnering with a local radio station and ended up being fun. One of the radio DJs was there, and me as the sponsor brand representative was given the same level of VIP treatment as the radio DJ! There was an event coordinator who basically did all the work and I just got to stand around looking pretty and getting paid for it. 😭

Gift card

After work I got home and found another package from my friend L with a gift card for me 💕

More cat food

A few days later, my neighbor left a huge box of cat food at my door. My cats are getting more spoiled than me 😂

An air fryer

This one is cool because I specifically wanted to manifest this. I had heard about air fryers for a while now and it seemed like something I would use, but I didn’t really feel the need to buy one. A couple weeks ago I was at Trader Joe’s with my mom and the cashier was saying how much he loooved his air fryer and telling me all the things I could make with it. I decided that moment I would just manifest one eventually, and forgot about it.

So the other day my mom comes to pick me up for a family lunch and she has a huge box in her hands - an air fryer?? She says jokingly “happy birthday” - my birthday isn’t for another 4 months! She said she just felt like I needed one 🤷🏻‍♀️

It’s so cute and I’ve already used it a couple times 💕

Attention from sp

Soo I have this crush-type guy we’ll call D. He’s one of my best friends and we’ve talked nearly every day for 3 years. I can talk to him about anything, including all things supernatural and shifting. We have admitted to having feelings for each other, and even had “online boyfriend” vibes for a while, but we live in different states, and he didn’t want to do long distance. I was sad and anxious about it for a while, but since I found out about loa and shifting, I realized none of it mattered and I could just shift to a reality where we’re together already 😂

Anyway I had become detached and stopped really thinking about him in a romantic way for a while. However, I realized since I basically didn’t care and wasn’t thinking about him, he was becoming distant in response. We hadn’t been really flirty or romantic in a few months, and I hadn’t even talked to him in a week, which was unusual. Although I wasn’t anxious about it or anything, I was still missing talking to one of my best friends. So I just started assuming he would go back to blowing up my phone all day, and I sent him some mental telepathy messages about what I wanted.

Monday morning he messaged me apologizing for being distant. He had been traveling for spring vacation and took a break from his phone. He then basically spent the whole week trying to make up for it, being super attentive, listening to my long ramblings about my void and shifting progress, sending me selfies every day, being more sweet and romantic than he had been in months, and kept telling me how pretty I was 🥰

Losing a follower LOL

This is just a funny one to round out my list. I hadn’t been on tumblr in a bit, and when I went to check my asks, I saw I had 556 followers. I thought “darn I missed the angel number, haha maybe someone will unfollow me so I can get the screenshot.” Not 5 min later when I went to look again, it had happened, and I got the screenshot 😂

(Up to 558 now thank you all 💕)

#manifesting #manifesting success #loa

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koolades-world · 5 months

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OK OMG this is so fun so sorry for the long wait, also taking inspo from honkai star rail's heliobi which are basically little fire guys that take a host and feed off their emotions and uses their deepest desire against them which either kills them directly, or drives them insane! fun right?

part one can be found here if you haven't read it or want to reread it haha

dance of the haunted (part two)

Instead of running home, Satan began to run towards the Demon Lord's palace. He still wasn't sure what Lucifer could want, but he thinks it would be wisest to get Diavolo and Barbatos first. He quickly barged in the front door without knocking. Little D's crowded around him, asking what was wrong. He ignored them.

"Barbatos! We need to talk!" He yelled out. Like magic, Barbatos was behind him, a hand on his shoulder.

"What's the matter? No need to yell." He tried to quiet down the disturbed demon.

"I think Lucifer might want to harm Mc over this journal I found. I found it one time at a bookstore and it was Lilith's and it spoke to me as her and I don't really know if it was her and..." Satan began to ramble, spilling out everything at once.

"Lucifer wanting to harm Mc? That seems out of character for him. Are you sure?" Barbatos hushed Satan again.

"I think. He called me asking me to bring Mc home with me, when the matters of this journal don't concern them at all. That journal gave me negative feelings overall and it makes me wonder if it asked for them specifically. I apologize for the lack of detail and how unclear this all is, but I just don't know." Satan confessed.

"Alright. I understand. I will go with you to check this out." Barbatos agreeded.

"Let's get Lord Diavolo too. He might be able to help." Satan sucked in a deep breath to calm himself down a little more.

"As you wish. I'll fetch the young master. Please wait here." Barbatos began to walk away. Satan turned away to pay attention to the chattering, worried Little D's and when he turned back, Barbatos had simply disappeared. He tried to consul them, telling them that everything was going to be alright, but he couldn't even convince himself of that. At some point, Barbatos returned with Diavolo. Satan quickly ran through the story one last time for Diavolo, who seemed the most worried. Together they made their way to the House of Lamentation. They passed Purgatory Hall on the way there. They saw one light on in the kitchen with a shadow passing in front of it. Satan didn't know who it was, but he hoped they would remain safe. Satan dreaded arriving at the place he called home. He wasn't ready. But, did he really have a choice?

As soon he arrived, he decided to make their presence known. He slammed the door open. "I'm here, just as you requested, dearest brother." Satan snarled. A soft buzzing overhead could be heard overhead.

"And where is Mc?" Lucifer was standing with his arms crossed between the double staircases, just like he had predicted. He was in his demon form. His wings rustled, agitated.

“That’s none of your business.” He curtly answered. Barbatos stood behind him silently, while Diavolo started at Lucifer intently. "Where's the journal? I'm not here to mess around."

"How dare you hide something like that from me? Did you steal this?" Lucifer held the book in front of him, clutching it tightly.

"I found it at a bookstore and bought it. Why does it matter?" Satan was already frustrated. He let out a sharp breath of air from his nose.

"Because this is one of the few thing I managed to recover from the Celestial Realm. It went missing a while back and after finding this in your room I can only assume you are responsible." Lucifer pointed an accusatory finger at Satan.

"Don't you think you would have found it sooner? This is pointless. What do you even want?" Satan's tail lashed about behind him. He had transformed at some point. Barbatos opened his mouth, but paused as they heard a thump behind them. They turned around to see Beel with the sternest expression on his face Satan had ever seen. His arms were crossed and he started at them with dead, unreadable eyes.

"Lucifer, what is all this about? You know you can always talk to me, right?" Diavolo spoke up.

"You have no part in this conversation. You couldn't bring Lilith back to me. Nothing that comes out of your mouth matters anymore, Diavolo." Lucifer snapped back. Satan froze for a moment. He had never heard Lucifer address Lord Diavolo with such animosity. Diavolo paused too.

"That's absolutely no way to speak to your Prince, Lucifer." The tension in the room could have been cut with a knife. The way Diavolo spat out Lucifer's name was something Satan never thought he would hear, no less see them on separate sides of anything this serious. "You of all demons would know I did everything in my power to resolve the situation as best as possible. If I had done what you initially asked, we would have risked war with the Celestial Realm." Diavolo sighed, malice growing in his usually kind features.

"You took advantage of me. I knew what I was getting into but it wasn't clear that by save her, you would rip her away from me. Now, we can be together again, no thanks to you lousy idiots." Lucifer held the book out in front of him.

"Lucifer, what are you talking about?" Satan watched as Lucifer opened the green journal. A mysterious wind whipped up the pages and opened it to a specific page. A tiny woman popped out, sitting on the edge of the book. As she jumped off of it and onto the ground, she grew into a more normal size. She was beautiful, and eerily reminded Satan of Mc in a few ways he couldn't place. Looking into her eyes was just like looking into Mc's. However, instead of appearing fully fleshed out, she was opaque and flickered in and out of existence. Her hands passed though anything she touched. Her smile would have lit up the room if it didn't seem so empty. That had to be what Lucifer thought was Lilith. Based on the reactions of Diavolo and Barbatos, his fear was confirmed.

"Hello Luci!" She threw her arms around his middle. "I've missed you." Lucifer smiled a smile Satan had never seen before, something that was clearly reserved for Lilith. But, he knew that couldn't be Lilith. She had died so long ago. This wasn't his brother's sister. Like moths to a flame, his brothers began to appear, like they sensed her arrival.

“Lilith!” Asmo flung himself at her after basically leaping off the top of the staircase. Beel stepped out from behind them and stared in awe.

“It’s good to have you back.” Lucifer told her. Satan could’ve believe his eyes. Didn’t he see what Satan saw?

“I recognize those two. Prince Diavolo and his beloved attendant, Barbatos. It’s an honor to meet you.” She bowed, making Diavolo’s eye tick. “But I don’t recognize you. You must be Satan. Luci, you really should be thanking him. He freed me. He showed me that there was more than that book.” Lilith stepped into the middle of the room and reached a hand out. Satan stepped back. Lilith grimaced and stepped back to Lucifer. He put his arm around her shoulder. “Where Mc? I’ve heard so much about them and are dying to meet them.” Lilith looked around the room again.

"You can't be serious." Satan immediately knew that wasn't Lilith. The real Lilith was not only dead, but had some inkling of who Mc was, according to what they had told him.

"How dare you disrespect her like that!" Lucifer raised his arm to point, but Lilith lowered it for him.

"Pointing is rude. Maybe he doesn't believe I'm actually here. Ask me anything, my dear brother, that might make you believe me. How about your past with Mc, hmm?" She spoke with a sickly sweet tone that lured his brothers in successfully. He began to sweat, and briefly glanced at Barbatos and Diavolo. Barbatos was studying Lilith with an intesity he rarely saw. Diavolo met his eyes and nodded at him, as if to signal him to move forward with the plan he thought Satan might have.

But he didn't. He wracked his brain for a question good enough to ask that she also wouldn't know the answer to. Something small would sound stupid and probably be rejected. Suddenly the perfect question hit him like a sack of bricks.

A smile grew on his face. "This should be an easy one. This question is for Lilith, and Lilith only. Has Mc ever died?" It was so simple it was nauseating, but he knew she would not be able to answer it. The real Lilith knew about the moment her brother murdered Mc, but the fake did not. He hadn't told her when they first met, and since her brothers thought she was the real deal, they hadn't bothered to ask.

"Of course not! How else would they be here with us today? That reminds me, are they on their way? I'm just dying to meet them." The room froze at her casual response. A look of horror began to dawn on her brothers faces. Belphie seemed the most stunned.

"Lils?" Belphie quietly addressed her.

"Yes?" She turned to face her brother. Belphie opened his mouth to speak, but shut it again, at a loss for words. The faux Lilith scanned everyone's faces, realizing she had said something very wrong. Before she could address her mistake, the doors slammed open behind them.

It was Satan's turn to become horrified. Behind him stood Mc, Solomon, and Simeon. Mc looked weak, and every pact mark except his own was glowing brightly. Solomon also looked slightly drained, a slight pink glow emitting from underneath his shirt. More than anything, they both look distressed, as if they knew something was wrong with the demons they had a pact with.

"Satan! What's going on?" They stumbled in, a hand on their head.

"What are you doing here?" Satan lunged forward to catch them before they fell.

"Something is wrong. Everything burns. What aren't you telling me?" Mc groaned. He held them against himself, cradling them.

"I'm sorry, but now's not the time to explain. Just hang in there, ok? You're going to be alright." As he spoke, Mc began to visibly deteriorate in condition. Their body was wracked with tremors, trying their best to focus in on Satan's face. They placed their shaky hands on his face in an attempt to steady themselves and to retain focus on him. Solomon made retching noises and doubled over, holding his side. Satan had never seen the sorcerer react in such a way to anything.

"It's that book. You may have already realized, but that is not Lilith. It's merely a copy of her based on her memories." Barbatos spoke up and pointed an accusatory finger at the fake Lilith. A look of rage crossed her face.

"After all my hard work, all it took to unravel my illusion was a Lucifer ripoff? Ugh. Whatever, I'm almost ready anyways." She grabbed the book out of Lucifer's hand and held it to her chest. She was solid enough to touch things in the real world now. Like dominoes, the six brothers standing next to her collapsed, causing Mc and Solomon to worsen. Solomon fell onto all fours. Mc desperately looked into Satan's eyes, their grip slackening. Both of them were gasping for breath.

"Barbatos, what's wrong with them?" Simeon hoisted Solomon off the ground, lifting him like a feather. A quick look at his side where he had been grabbing showed that Asmo's pact mark had begun to dim. He searched Barabatos' eyes pleadingly.

"If I'm right about the creature we're dealing with, Solomon and Mc are indirectly having their souls drained due to their link with the brothers. Their strong emotions over being reunited with their sister allowed the creature to access their soul and in turn, the human's they're linked with. The brothers were alright for much longer due to the power imbalance. Solomon and Mc are merely humans. Solomon has so many pacts so his soul is divided, leading to 'cracks' and more weaknesses, so to say, and Mc is having most of their soul siphoned out. However, If a more powerful being, for example, Satan and I, were to channel power into them, it would sustain them temporarily, like setting up a barrier between the force and their soul." Barbatos took Solomon from Simeon and concentrated on his pact mark. It started to glow brightly, and caused Solomon to stir.

Satan wasn't sure when Solomon had shut his eyes. He was busy focusing on Mc. Their pact marks began to dim, their eyes beginning to also flutter shut for longer and longer between each blink. He didn't have to be told twice to concentrate all his being into channeling power into Mc. His pact mark began to glow brighter than he had ever seen it before.

"Young Master, Simeon. Destroy that book. We cannot keep this up for a prolonged amount of time. All of the energy we funnel into Solomon and Mc is effectively being taken by the false Lilith. We can only sustain until that book is taken care of." Barbatos looked at the two entities gathered around them. Faux Lilith was more focused on the fallen brothers than what was happening across from her.

"We won't let you down." Diavolo wasted no time charging her, sending flames that sprouted from his palms at her. They licked the book and singed her clothes. There was a noticeable stir in the grounded brothers and the humans. Simeon ran behind her and attempted to snatch to book from her. She ducked under his hands and dashed deeper into the house. After a quick glance back at the rest of the group, the two of them charged after her.

"Mc? Solomon? Are you with us?" Their grip on his face was so weak at this point, so he took one off his cheek to grip it tightly.

"Everything is blurry. Lean in closer." Mc relaxed into his arms and he got closer to peer into their eyes.

"I'm here, but I hope they hurry with that thing. At this point I feel like it might hurt less to just cut the pact mark off my body." Solomon was lightly shaking and grimacing.

"Are you in pain, Mc?" Satan noticed they hadn't said anything regarding how they were feeling.

"It feels like hot irons are being pressed to the pact marks. Don't stop whatever you're doing. It feels nice." They were quieter this time, and moved sluggishly.

"Don't worry. Diavolo and Simeon are going to put an end to this. It will get better, just hold on." They could hear the fight raging on somewhere else in the house, the kitchen based on the sound of pots and pans being flung. After they heard a shrill scream, the brothers began to stir again, and Solomon and Mc looked like they had just taken a breath of fresh air.

As Satan was about to ask how Mc felt again after the look on their face, the fight was brought back into the front room. This time, faux Lilith seemed to have a different goal in mind; Mc. She lunged at the two of them. Satan was quick to move. Barbatos hoisted Solomon onto his shoulder and moved back. She redirected to follow Satan's every move and tried to grab at Mc. Simeon and Diavolo rushed after her every time to no avail.

"What do you want with Mc?" He had his back to the faux Lilith, to hold himself between her and Mc.

"I need their body to complete my transformation. They're a real descendent of Lilith! If I use their body, I can finally be close to her again!" She gave Satan no time to think and rushed at him again. He fled up the stairs, planning to go to the one place he thought might keep her out.

He hurriedly climbed the long, twisty staircase to the attic. She was right on his tail. As he passed the threshold, he slammed the door shut with his tail, locking it. He looked around for anything that might be of use desperately, still clutching Mc to his chest. They seemed barely coherent, still trying their best to look at his face. If he tried to channel his power to use against Lilith, it would take away from what he was channeling into Mc, but it was all he had. She slammed on the door, starting to bash a small hole in it. Satan set Mc down on the bed that was always in the attic so he had time to search through everything in the attic for help. At this point, he noticed something long and shiny sticking out from under the bed. As he reached for it, he jumped back. It stung where he had made contact with it. He reached back under again, and despite the burning, he got it out into full view. He recognized it as Simeon's sword. It was blessed in several different ways, which was why he had issues picking it up. If he wanted to defeat this creature, he knew what he had to do.

As the door was finally broken through, he wielded the sword, despite the burns forming on his hand. He lunged at the faux Lilith, causing her to stumble back and onto the stairs again. She scurried past him and at Mc again and as she did, he caught sight of the book in her waistband. He knew he wouldn't be able to reach Mc in time at this rate, so he plunged the sword right into the book, and into faux Lilith. She collapsed to the floor, screaming loudly. Satan dropped the sword and hurried past her to stand between her and Mc. He watched as she disintegrated while writhing, leaving just the book behind, with a large gash right through the middle.

He jumped at the sound of Mc behind him. They were attempting to sit up, a hand on their head. "Mc! How are you feeling?" He sat beside them, holding their hand with his uninjured one.

"It feels like I got burnt, everything is spinning, and I kind of feel like throwing up but better than before. What happened?" They looked around. "How did we even get here?" They asked.

"Long story. Right now, we need to get you back downstairs to Barbatos. Everyone is probably waiting for us. Do you need a hand?" He got up and walked around to the side Mc was on.

"That would be nice." He extended an arm to them, which they took and hung off of. On their way out, he picked up the ruined book. It had begun to ooze a black substance.

"Do you mind grabbing Simeon's sword? I would, but it really stings." He opened his domainant hand to show them the outline of the sword in his hand from where he had held it.

"Satan! When did you get this?" They took his hand to spread his fingers while leaning against him for support, wincing as they did so.

"Just now. Also part of the long story. What's most important is getting you downstairs, Mc! Worry about me later, love." Mc gave him a quick glare, but did as he asked and picked up the sword. Together, they hobbled down the stairs and reunited with everyone else.

They were swarmed by the brothers who were on the ground last time they saw them. After seeing Mc hiss in pain and the holy blade, they moved back a little. Behind them was the others. Solomon was sitting on the ground, being tended to by Simeon and Barbatos.

"I believe this belongs to you." Mc held the sword out in front of them, catching Simeon's attention.

"Oh, thank you! I was wondering where it was sent when I lost it during the battle." He took the sword from them, to which it vanished after he briefly inspected it. "Now, come sit over here and let me look after you." After he saw Satan's hands, he made him sit down too.

"So, us three again, huh? Cats, am I right?" Solomon chuckled, causing the other two to laugh too.

"Do you remember anything? I just remember entering the house and staring at Satan." Mc asked Solomon.

"It's about the same for me. I remember getting here and almost throwing up, and that's it." As he was speaking, Barbatos moved around to his injured side and pulled up his shirt. "Barbatos, at least buy me dinner first." This earned him a strained, tight smile and a swat to the head. After seeing what Barbatos was looking at, the levity of the moment was drained. Over where his pact with Asmo was crusted over with a burn so deep in color you wouldn't be able to tell it was there if the pink glow wasn't emitting from the cracks in his skin. In contrast, his pact with Barbatos was baby smooth and looked refreshed.

"Is that what I'm going to look like?" With a gulp, they peeled off their shirt, and revealed the caked over pact marks. The only visible one was Satan's. It looked revitalized. Each of the burnt marks hurt to touch. The men around them looked a little embarrassed. As Simeon began tending to the burns and assessing the situation, the six brothers approached them again.

"I'm sorry, Mc, Satan, Solomon. For my reaction." Lucifer began his apology. Surprisingly, Satan interrupted him.

"It's not you're fault. It's the creature that possessed you. It's not you fault it went missing. It probably meant to find it's way back into our home. You wouldn't have known. I know this won't take away the guilt, but you just wanted to see her again. I don't blame you." He stunned Lucifer.

"I'll make it up to you. Thank you." Lucifer gently smiled at his younger brother, something he never thought he'd see. His brothers gathered around them, also apologizing. Mammon and Levi were in tears and Asmo was gripping Solomon so tightly he almost lost circulation.

As Lucifer took his injured hand, Satan looked around at everyone there, grateful to had been part of such a family.

SUPER SUPER proud of this one! honestly at first I didn't know where I wanted this to go but I am SO happy with it. I've def improved with fight scenes but I tried to avoid it because i never like them haha

but thank you all for patiently waiting! happy new year <3

all the people I promised to tag :D

@jasthelazyelf @boxofgasoline @clemtastica @cosmic-caffelatte @hananacchi @anxious-chick @smc-angl @exrellian @majesticselena @marvelous-maniac

#omswd #obey me shall we date #obey me mc

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hotcat37 · 3 months

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25 for käkka and/or 46 for stalker!tommy käsh? 💚💚💚

Jere x Jukka real (I'll do the stalker! Tommy one separately and tag u in it!)

25: as a yes

Jukka has been acting a little off all day. Jere wonders if he should maybe ask him about it but he also knows that the younger man has the tendency to put up walls around himself if he's prodded too much. So he tries not to pry, continuing to ramble about everything and nothing, sitting on the floor by Jukka's feet while the other man strums his guitar. It's become a little ritual between them to hang out backstage an hour before a gig. Before Jesse starts getting stressy about the fact that nothing has been set up yet and commands everyone to get off their asses and work.

Allu and Jaakko are nowhere to be seen, leaving just him and Jukka to laze around together. Jere tolerates his own yapping and Jukka's silence for about two more minutes before he gets agitated with the knowledge that something is definitely bothering his friend.

"You okay?" He asks plainly, blunt as ever. Jukka flinches at the question, halting his fiddling, obviously getting flustered. Jere can tell even with the sunglasses covering those warm brown eyes.

"Yeah, fine." Jukka responds immediately. Only to offer a sheepish smile when Jere raises an eyebrow at him. "Or...well....I dunno."

"Tell uncle Jere what's bothering you." Jere turns around until he's leaning his arms on Jukka's legs, staring up at him, trying to decipher the guitarist's expression from underneath his shades.

But alas. Jukka is excellent at keeping a pokerface. He doesn't budge under Jere's intense staring. His body language implies that he's nervous, though, and even without that Jere knows Jukka well enough by now to be able to tell that something is up. They silently gaze at each other for what feels like an eternity before the bald one between them sighs in defeat.

"Uh....if you wanted to ask someone out, how would you do it?" Oh. Jere tries to ignore the instinctive pang of disappointment in his gut at the question.

He takes the time to think about it for a moment, remembering to push his own feelings for the guitarist aside, to be able to answer the question in a helpful way. The last thing Jere wants is to sabotage whatever plans Jukka has to make this certain someone his. As much as it pains him to know that Jukka's got the hots for someone apparently.

Nonetheless, he smiles reassuringly at his friend. "I think....I'd wait until we're alone together. Make it a private moment, y'know?"

Jukka nods slowly in response, hanging off of his every word, Jere feeling himself get a little flustered under the undivided attention. Alright, stay focused.

"Then....I'd take their hand. Like-like this." Jere demonstrates by gently prying Jukka's hands off his guitar and cupping them with his own. "And....well. No point in stalling, right? If you've got enough guts to take their hands like that I'm sure you'll work up the nerve to ask them out. Worst they can say is no, I guess. Or fuck no! Haha."

Another beat of silence. Jukka's face doesn't seem to change at all. Jere starts to wonder if maybe this is garbage advice. Jukka isn't really the type to be so blunt anyways. But Jere isn't sure how to adjust his tips to make them more shy person friendly. Just as the rapper releases his crew member's hands, the previously statue like man abruptly reaches out to firmly take Jere's hands in his.

"Oh-"

"Would you...." Jukka trails off, voice barely above a whisper and strained with effort. His face has gone beet red all of a sudden. "....wanna go out with me? S-sometime?"

Oh. What the fuck. For a few seconds Jere is so stunned that he doesn't even realize how his silence might come across until Jukka's clammy hands detach themselves from his and the guitarist starts to shrink in on himself.

"Sorry, I-"

Jere braces his hands on Jukka's knees and pushes himself forward, interrupting the upcoming apology with a sloppy but enthusiastic kiss. Jukka's lips are as soft as ever. The one thing Jere always really looks forward to once he's on the stage is for Huhhahhei to be on the set list. To think that he now has the opportunity to kiss this man without needing an excuse is something that makes him delirious with happiness.

Jukka stammers and repeatedly opens and closes his mouth like a fish out of the water, so Jere deems it necessary to clarify.

"Yeah, sure, sounds like fun."

#käärijä #jukka sorsa #Käkka #kiss game #awkward shy Jukka has my heart

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blackstarchanx3new · 10 months

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Creations AU, But I obnoxiously over explain it PT 8

Holy crap how are there 8 parts.

211-240

Well it took 200 pages but he cracked like a damn egg in front of someone.

Sammy's a cool dude though.

Again we see characters treat Mike rather, differently because they know something about him we are assumed not to. or at least don't have full context too.

He's delicate and understanding towards a complete WTF situation.

Sammy's continues to be a delicate dude about Mike's horrible horrible ordeal.

Mike's memory is fuzzy atm.

Apparently they were gonna "Talk to a puppet"

Ya know that thing we saw as a plushie earlier on. Sammy seems to think that's weird.

and holy shit it's a corpse.

Haha don't yell in front of the traumatized man in shock at who he's looking at. Sammy quickly rights himself as soon as he notices that.

Sammy seems way more upset about Mike being put in danger than having to help him. X'D He's used to bullshit I suppose.

"Prank" our asses Michael you got impaled.

So the owners know about Mike's mental health struggles and an illness we aren't quite privy too. One that makes it hard for Mike to distinguish reality.

Thanks Michael.

Makes sense why William was so weird. (Still handled that poorly)

Sammy's handling it a bit better in the sense he isn't acting like Mike's unhinged or dangerous and he's clearly not scared to be in the same room as Mike, but is being delicate and soothing for Mike's sake.

Also: Michael has a history of doing "Crap" which is amusing. Wtf are you doing Michael. X'D

You can see why I like Sammy right? X'D

Specifically his line "DON'T APOLOGIZE TO ME APOLOGIZE TO HIM"

Dudes got his priorities are in place. He doesn't want Michael to kiss his ass he wants him to make shit right with Mike. Ya know, the person actually most affected by this shit.

We can see between the two Sammy is clearly the more responsible one and despite Michael's shit talking earlier Sammy is pretty level headed.

We can see why they don't get along though.

Also because heights/panel layouts are hard: Sammy is around the same height as Mike, aka he's short lmao but they're just shown at head level for convenience reasons.

Sammy is literally that one meme of the woman holding the guy pointing at the other woman angrily.

He continues to be responsible by NOT letting Michael take Mike home lmao. Let's be real I wouldn't trust Michael to do smth like that either. X'D

Haha Mike you still aren't okay are you?

Sammy's still trying to be nice.

Sammy that's a weird response...

Oh. He's nuts too!

Mike's response to Sammy's insane rambling about not being sure he's a real person is just

"...Yeah"

Lmao. Seems Sammy has had a colorful past with Freddy's himself. Makes sense he's one of the owner's son.

Which makes his relationship with William very...questionable from an age/how long they've known each other angle. If you were curious about why Michael was possessive over Mike earlier and called William a "Gross old man" now you now. William's having relations with his business' partner's son who's presumably older than Michael but stillllllll wtf Will. X'D. Healthy relationships isn't something this series thrives on if you haven't noticed.

Also: Silver eyes reference with the Spring Bonnie panel.

Fourth closet reference with "Fake Charlie".

The panel where Sammy's face is an endoskeleton is symbolism by the way, not directly "real".

The depths of Sammy's paranoia and anxieties he's not real is justified. How WOULD you know if you were a fake person? XD

What I like during this convo is Mike asking directly if Sammy thinks he's crazy and Sammy swiftly responding with "Not really no"

Ahh. So Mike for sure has an illness that makes him see things that "aren't there".

(It's never directly stated to be schizophrenia because I don't like writing illnesses I don't have 1 to 1, but what Mike's been experiencing LATELY Has not been apart of his illness, as he's medicated and as we've seen: Cody was very much real.)

And we hear it from Mike: He thinks everything he's seen with Cody so far has been a dream of some kind. Since again, he's on medication he shouldn't be hallucinating.

I forgot this was the case till going back and looking into FNAF stuff again: Mike's character trait of hallucinating was based on the player character "Mike Schmidt" having hallucinations/the "Rare screens" in FNAF 1.

Something I've hoped ya noticed: Mike's character arc is gaining friendships and relationships and getting over what happened at Freddy's.

Lol so you COULD see as this purely as Sammy being manipulative buuuut here's how it is to me:

He cares enough about Mike's health to let him have a break at all. He cares about the robots happiness because replacing nightguards is implied to be stressful for them.

He's a "Try to keep everyone happy" kind of person lmao.

Also new character yay.

Lmao. She's weird.

This is Mike's roommate! :D We knew he lived with someone and now this is just conformation.

She looks familiar....

Wonder if we've seen ANOTHER red head who's associated with green....Oh yeah. The ghost that spoke to Bonnie briefly.

Something brought up before: Sammy hired Mike so Sammy is technically Mike's boss.

This art style wise was when I decided: I just needed to get pages done and I didn't super care about the quality (Still feel that way)

the first arc isn't my favorite. FNAF 3 was fun because of our 2nd favorite local hoe behind Freddy himself, known as Andrew Sister Location was a SLOG It was LITERALLY just the game dialogue and occasionally I had fun with Josh, but it differed enough from the game that I NEEDED to do it bleh and FNAF 4 had it's moments again, everything original was fun.

Twisted ones and Pizza Sim are my favorite concept wise because that's when shit SUPER hits the fan. They aren't directly 1 to 1 with anything so I can go nuts.

The FNAF 1 arc mostly ESTABLISHES a lot so when we get to BATSHIT INSANITY nobody's confused who everyone is and what their relationships to each other are.

Anyway: Mike explains wtf they were doing at Freddy's to this woman, clearly SHE'S the person he's been conspiring against Freddy's with.

The Puppet is a fan favorite design in Creations and to this day I don't get it:

I gave the regular puppet HAIR. That's about it. X'D

Either way: Mike can't fully trust the info given during this because of Michael's "Prank".

Keep in mind: They went her presumably to discuss how to fix Freddy's. Which is what Michael and Mike were talking about before shit went wrong.

Sus things:

Michael knows about the "Putting people in robots" thing or at least is implied to know. How and why does he know that? Michael's friends/acquaintances with the girl who put his brother in the Golden Freddy costume. Does he KNOW Cody's fate? How does he feel about these things?

So Mike presumably waited 5 years to do anything about what was happening at Freddy's because he wasn't ready to confront this.

William was committing the "Main" murders that caught Mike's attention 5 years ago. They conformed there ARE more than Jeremy by mentioning "victims" but he came HERE after an incident at a sister location Fredbear's having children and the owner go missing.

Michael woke up from his accident 5 years ago.

Afton has dabbled in making robots that look and act human.

and the suspected main goal from this was to create robots that had human souls/remnant inside them.

HMMMMMM WONDER WHAT'S GOING ON LMFAO.

Lol oop-

Sooo question: Does Sammy know about his sister being in the puppet? X'D

If he does it'd make sense why he was confused Michael and Mike were talking to her lmfao.

Also if you're FNAF savvy you're probably wondering wtf is up with Fake Charlie and all that. Considering Charlie is APARENTLY STILL ALIVE. Huh.

I have a comic planned explaining all that BS with Sammy, Charlie and "Fake Charlie" and the puppet. Because it is left almost completely not answered in the main series lmfao.

Suffice to say: Mike's "WTF" attitude is pretty spot on.

The robot Sammy ran into that looked like his sister isn't the one currently walking around AS his sister, since they presumably dismantled it from his comment about it bleeding and the Puppet is his REAL sister.

And there's just something/someone walking around claiming to be Charlie.

OH.

SO JOSH IS MISSING NOT DEAD?~

SL readers again, know what happened But I'm being cheeky here until we review SL too.

So Michael seems to think Josh is "Dead". That's weird. Why would he think that exactly? With the specific detail of dying from machinery? Is this something his dad told him to keep quiet about?

Michael does seem to know a lot more than he SHOULD.

Lmao our new gal pal suggesting zombies is funny especially if you know what happened to Josh.

Dead people don't stay dead at Freddy's lmfao.

HAH HE RECORDED THAT CONVERSATION.

Haha wonder if that important thing has been staring you right in the face.

No the series is not subtle about who it is but it was never meant to be a "Twist". UNLIKE THE SILVER EYES SERIES

The evidence to who the robot is is made obvious from the start, it's not meant to be an ass pull. You're supposed to be in on it. You're waiting for everyone to notice the OBVIOUS but the OBVIOUS isn't relevant to completely see until later.

You know they're weird the second they appear on screen lmfao. The denial comes from the very idea a PERSON robot is a thing is hard to believe. So the CHARACTERS are in denial this person is a robot. BECAUSE WHY WOULD YOU ASSUME A NORMAL HUMAN IS A ROBOT!? X'D

Humans dismiss a LOT of shit until what they're looking at is undeniable. Mike's still in denial what he's thinking is the 100% fact because holy shit this entire situation is BONKERS.

Everyone in the building is BONKERS. Everything that goes down in there is BONKERS.

And even worse: Mike cannot trust his own eyes fully because of his hallucinations.

Like if someone you met had a few oddities with them your first thought wouldn't be "Oh they're a robot" it'd be "Oh that's weird" and it would build, and build and build until you're like "Oh..."

It's the fucking invader zim affect lmao. An alien being in your god damn class is so out of the realm of THINKABLITY you wouldn't even think that's a possibility.

Of course: Our characters are AT the point where "A human robot is a possibility" now all that's left is waiting for them to realize WHO it is and fully connect everything together.

Mike's still in denial. Poor dude is used to having to not fully trust what he sees/experiences. Which sucks.

HAHAHA YES TALK TO FREDDY. >:)

SHOW US THE BEAR MIKE!!!!

Haha his friend/roommate is a goof.

...I hope the cut to Michael is as funny to everyone else as it is to me considering wtf they were JUST talking about.

AND OKAY MICHAEL HOW COULD YOU HURT BONNIE'S FEELINGS LIKE THAT?!

He's playing on the Pikachu and Eevee switch which either conforms he has 3 switches or 3 sets of joycons at least lmao. Rich little shithead.

#fnaf au #fnaf comic #fnaf fan comic #fnaf fan art #fnaf creations au #fnaf golden freddy #golden freddy #mike schmidt #fnaf michael afton #michael afton #bonnie #fnaf bonnie

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addictivewhispering · 1 year

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I don't think captaincy will change their established relationship too much. The parallel may be Kylian taking on more leadership responsibilities at PSG since the WC, and it has not changed his dynamics with Kimpembe.

From what I've seen at PSG and the WC final, Kylian may act more affirmative and supportive of his teammates when he finds himself the de facto leader. He seems to consciously project confidence and composure to help the team stay focused and resilient despite the circumstance.

Kylian's also pretty affectionate and empathetic. He's been giving a lot of kisses to teammates who got injured this season. He also helped people get up or get into a comfortable position, stood by the medics, lent his hand whenever needed, communicated with the ref, etc. well before he.was named the captain. He also reached out to players who felt bad for missing important penalties or goals and offered encouragement for their efforts. I imagine he understands what it could feel like and wants to be there for others.

I feel Kylian is someone who's driven by duties and passion (or love). Oliv may tease him for acting even more diplomatic around the media while appreciating him for growing more emotionally matured everyday. And I believe Kylian will continue to be sweet and clingy around Oliv and other older players while taking on the mentor role with younger teammates. Despite always telling people to not talk abt age with him, Kylian totally laments not being the baby of the team anymore. He would not miss out on the opportunities if Oliv let him stay that way in their relationship.

Sorry that my rambles turn into a long character analysis (?)

ahhh please don't apologize! this was so fun to read and an interesting understanding of their relationship!

you're right that mbappe is already somewhat acquainted with leadership responsibilities since he's been wearing the armband at psg recently. (i guess i didn't really consider this because deschamps said it wouldn't affect his decision, so i kind of ruled it out of my mind oops.) but i agree that even when he's not the captain by name, his presence already does a lot for the rest of the team! and thank you for providing some more details about his time in psg 🙏

I imagine he understands what it could feel like and wants to be there for others.

i definitely think this is a big part of it too! even though he's still pretty young he does also have quite an amount of experience, especially playing for his country. and yep... he definitely knows what missing decisive penalties feels like... haha (laughs in euros pain) but anyway those experiences are sure to help him.

anyway, i really love this idea of someone being a composed responsible leader in public, compared to in private where they don't "have" to have all these responsibilities, and they can just... be. someone who's always strong allowing themselves to be weak... i think this is a very interesting dynamic for them, and it's kind of why i like the hurt/comfort trope (i.e. giroud comforting mbappe) for them a lot too... anon thank you for this now i'm going to be thinking about them instead of sleeping LOL

#kylian mbappe #gimbappe #some food for thought!#would love to know what other people think as well #alsk #my demons #gigikyky

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cinnaminsvga · 6 days

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tbf i think the grandma shit started because of my own fault. i think I felt so old compared to everyone that I said i feel like a grandma or something, or even told them to call me grandma in a "just call me grandma" kinda way and it stuck with a few of them haha

you know what, im kind of the opposite, I feel like my writing now is of a worse quality than back then. i think I got too used to writing just for myself so I got lazy and impatient and skipped over adding details and more descriptions and such But for you, I think it would be a good way to see how much you've improved in your personal opinion! Though like I get churro chumps specifically was crack so maybe use something you took more seriously when writing for comparative purposes haha

omg that's me with soonyoung, he's my actual bias even if seungcheol is constantly tackling me and shaking his ass in my face to remind me how much he owns my ass, but anyway, yeah soonyoung is my precious babie. i just want to love and protect him, he's just a poor innocent little soul

also, sorry if these asks are annoying, I never know when to shut up or how to real social cues so feel free to stop responding at any point. i am very aware that I ramble and it's a lot at times

(double also i know this response may seem fast, I just happened to see that you had responded when I came online lol. triple also(I need more vocab) no idea why im still remaining anon when you can probably easily guess my user at this point but im pretending there is a valid reason for clicking anon)

that's interesting to hear you think your writing got worse! well, i can sort of understand that... for me, when i take a break from writing, sometimes it can feel a little difficult to get back into the groove of things... but i get what you mean a little about "writing for yourself." when you have no intention of sharing your work, sometimes specific details aren't necessary when your target audience is, well, yourself.

as for rereading my old stuff... i do actually reread a lot of my stuff, just not the ones from when i was like 16 LOL it's not because i don't wanting to read my "unserious" stories, it's more because i hate cringing at my old stylistic choices. i like to think ive gotten better at adopting writing styles that i think can make my stories flow smoother. but as a teen, i had trouble structuring my stories because i relied heavily on dialogue to move them. which... isn't a very sustainable approach LMAO but yeah churro chumps is still a story i will always cherish, because even after all this time... i do love me some sillay yoongay fanfics :3

i like soonyoung too :D he was my bias prior to seungcheol... it started with jihoon, then soonyoung, then cheol... leading me to accept my fate as a leader line fan lol but tbh ive gotten really into seokmin lately... something about silly guys is getting to me...

and never apologize for rambling :D i ramble a lot too!! im president of yap city, as they say... i was always the kid who got moved around the classroom bc i would NOT shut up, no matter who i got paired up with... oh woe is the mouth that yaps... anyway thanks for sending these in!! its nice to talking to ya anytime!!

#and yeah i think i know who you are LMAOOO but i think hitting anon is still a nice option #keeps u hidden from the masses... but its like we're having a secret conversation in public #like me talking to you in a trenchcoat. we exchange gummy worms in a dark alleyway. YEAH!!#Anonymous #answered

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bigjimbopickens · 1 year

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For me personally, I won't be watching Kevin's stuff for a while to come. It is less about him though and more about the community he's brought to him, a community that now thinks he is one of them. A community that will likely stick around now as well. I don't remember reading anything in his apology regarding the vitriol he allowed to spread (though turning the comments off was the right thing to do), and I'm still soured by the lack of response to you regarding the p*** claims.

In any case I'm heavily disappointed. I love Kevin. He's the only YouTuber I have any merch from. And while I saw this coming I'm anguished. It sucks.

- also an autistic trans man

When I said I wouldn’t talk about this anymore I lied I wanna respond to this. I am contributing more to the convo with this though.

I feel the same way as I’m sure many others do too. And I’m glad you brought up the previous bs that happened just 2 or so months prior to all this because I was going to but felt like it wasn’t necessary as the post was already long enough.

For those unaware, in November 2022 Kevin posted a sims 4 video where he recreated the original sims 4 cult, which the fandom mimicked in a way. He changed the rules in that one to ban werewolves, which was interpreted as “ban furries.”

I made a joke response to it using the fursuit I made of werewolf Jim Pickens and people took it wayyyy too seriously. I was harassed quite a bit for that because people take what Kevin says too seriously. And of course I was called a p*do over it too. That situation scared off a-lot of people from the community but my naive self thought that was as bad as it gets and wanted to fix it. I believed it was my fault. So I organized a raid to bring the positivity back and it worked. Until Kevin fucked it up again 2 months later. I’m not organizing another. I’m not fixing his community again, he broke it and I had no involvement this time.

I sorta let that one slide when really I shouldn’t have because it was just one user who was really causing an issue for me. And it also wasn’t Kevin’s fault that guy had issues. I heard that Kevin did vaguely mention it on stream but I didn’t catch it because I was flying that day. Coincidentally he did post his “I almost quit in 2022” video on the day of the raid, which I came across again and said half-jokingly “You should’ve.”

There is another situation similar that happened to me back in April 2021 that is somewhat related as well. It was during the first NoPixel stream when I did fanart of Grognak and people started getting mad over their pronouns in my replies. So out of spite me and another artist drew them with the non binary pride flag and people became horribly transphobic towards us. Other artists joined us and the mods banned whoever was being transphobic in the replies. So transphobia has always been an issue in the community unfortunately, I just didn’t realize it was that fucking bad.

I joined the community shortly after the pandemic started when the Tomodachi Life series had started and I wish we could go back to those days. It was so much fun. Kevin never does videos anymore about his characters and when he does they’re more challenge-based rather than lore/character focused. That’s a big reason why his sims series fell off so hard. Jim went from being this evil idiot yet genius cult leader to asexually reproducing 100 babies. With the last sims 4 video being one that started a fight in his community I have no idea how he’s going to continue it. I don’t even know if he’s aware of what happened to me. I know he saw the fursuit, he liked the tweet I made about it.

Oh man another long post. Damn I ramble a lot. But I think it needs to be said regardless. I have got to be the user of the community who got fucked over the most amount of times simply for existing haha. I am the embodiment of what the community seems to hate. Thankfully two other communities have already welcomed me so I don’t have to rely on this one as much anymore. I’m still thankful for all the good it’s done for me but I’ve never been in a fandom more toxic than the Call Me Kevin community.

I hope you’re also doing well, anonymous stranger.

#callmekevin #call me kevin

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keefsteef · 10 months

Text

AIN'T TALKIN BOUT LOVE - EP. 1

Citizens of Vanhalenville, WELCOME to Ain't Talkin Bout Love - a pile of rambling that I'm pretending is my podcast, where we talk about ANYTHING but love for our creatures 👺

Just kidding... obviously I love them down lmaooo. This'll be a lighthearted situation type deal. To get this disclaimer out the way, I am not anti David anti Sammy or anti Gary, I'm pro them all, so if I happen to be ripping into Samuel (which I will be 🤣,)that is not a testimony of me believing in David superiority blah blah blah, they're all gonna GET THE SMOKE if necessary. (Especially DAVID 🤣)

🙄. The fact I even have to disclaim that makes me chuckle but you know how it e-is , you always get a select few that suddenly possess all-knowing oracle powers and can tell you who you hate or don't hate 🔥🧠🔥‼️

ANYWAY let's get this shitshow on the road, hello I'm Raeyeon, call me Rae...or if calling me keefsteef tickles your tingle fine🤩... whatever works🤩...

TODAY, we'll be chatting about one of the possible reasons for the notorious "Alexander doesn't speak to Samuel" ordeal that quite frequently makes blog cameos in the form of some snarky joke. But really, it's hard to chuckle at as a citizen of alexanderopolis, because that just means he'll keep hiding from us 😭 kiss seeing him playing drums in the sun GOODBYE, BELOVED...

So to briefly recap it if you aren't aware, Samuel wants to do a reunion (yes, I know without Edward it'd be extremely bittersweet, but nonetheless still a nice tribute) but Mr. Alexander Arthur Van Halen is NOT DOWN FOR IT, and will not return any emails or calls.

I know we can easily put grieving at responsibility for this,which at this point I'm sure is the case, but correct me if I'm wrong, Samuel hadn't been keeping in contact with Alexander even when Edward was still around. I knowwww obviously the drama over the leaving of the band has a huge role, but here are MY PERSONAL SPECULATIONS 😩‼️

Samuel, beloved...I'm not delusional enough to think you'd read this, but talking in the pov that you are...there's plainly things you KEEP TO YOURSELF when you expect to keep a friendship.

The majority of us are probably aware of his book called RED where he spills tea (a bit too much tea in my opinion 😩) and what not, the extreme of it regarding Edward and his drug usage. I also saw the way he went about it to be quite insensitive, it almost felt like a haha let's laugh at this crackhead type of storytelling than a "gee eddies far gone and I feel bad".

I'm SURE he meant it to be more of a feel bad situation, but he's human, humans fuck up and make mistakes.

This was a big fuck up lmaooo. We KNOW Alexander loves his brother, and I personally think that he's well enough of a grown man to not hold a silly grudge over leaving...quitting... kicking out, whatever drama. (I've already shared my THOUGHTS on that fiasco 😭)

I think he's refusing to contact Samuel, because he's probably hurt about the way he aired Edward out.

I would be too. I wouldn't want to talk to anyone that seemed to kick my blood when they were down. Samuel is an INTELLIGENT MAN, so every time I hear him go "lol idk why he won't call me back"

BELOVED 👺👺👺👺🔪🔪🔪🔪, DON'T ACT DENSE!

Obviously...I am a stranger and obviously this is my observative opinion, Samuel could've apologized to Alexander already and in Taurus fashion he pulled a "forgiveness granted, trust and friendship denied" move, but if that's not the case...

SAAAAMMMUELLLLL needs to stop trying to force a music reunion, and instead needs to invite Alexander to Cabo and talk things out man to man. (And maybe take selfies for vanhalenville 😩😩🤩💅🏽🤪)

Neither of them are getting any younger, and it just saddens me to think of the possibility they'll never talk again. But yeah, I see that Samuel has quite the tendency to enjoy opening his mouth and sharing stories...but he really needs to have a bit more awareness about the type of stories he shares.

I'm sure there's things to talk about without getting all down and dirty and personal. Take notes from Michael Anthony 😩‼️

Anyway...this was quite a WAY TO KICK OFF WASN'T IT 🤣. I've been wanting to have a little chitter chatter about this for the longest time, but I wanted to sort of establish myself as a blog first so I wouldn't get "you hate Sammy" accusations 😭

I loooove Mr. Red Rockers curly headed self, but he for real needs to quit playing these games and make things right. An apology, if he's already given it, means nothing when you continue to do what you apologized for.

THANKS FOR TUNING IN 🤩❤️, NEXT we'll talk about Mr. Diamond David Gigolo Tarzan Atomic Punk Whoever Whatever Lee Roth!

I've got some interesting things to expand on about him...word in the STREETS is on the 1978 tour, he was really just a cute cozy little bookworm and all that hooping blabber mouth persona was just that... A persona.

MUAH!

#classic rock #van halen #aint talkin bout love blogcast

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wayhavenots · 6 months

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A commentary track for You will surely be the death of me would be amazing 👀

Thank you!!! :) Below the cut because it got long haha.

You will surely be the death of me

First: This was written for Wayhaven Frights (prompt: dawn) and for Fictober (prompt: I choose you). It's so fun to come back to it a year later! A prompt-related idea I wanted to incorporate but didn't is that Dawn is Avery's middle name.

Second: The title comes from the song Like the Dawn by The Oh Hellos, which is a retelling of the creation of Eve from the perspective of Adam. It's a very pretty song about finding someone who was (literally) made for you, that person lighting up your world like the dawn...even if they will ultimately be your downfall (the line which is the title).

Avery sips from her travel mug as she watches the dark sky fade to navy blue, a promise of warmth and light just over the horizon. But for now, it is chilly on this rooftop. She sets down the drink and huddles into Nate, head tucking into his chest and arms snaking underneath his coat and around his waist. "Cold," she explains.

For once, I actually paid attention to imagery here, Nate being a source of warmth and light just like the slowly rising sun.

She tilts her head back to observe his handsome face—dark eyes gazing back at her, a smile on his lips. She's not sure if she believes him, if she's a sufficient distraction from whatever nightmare left him so shaken this morning. Something from his past, something he’s carried with him for three hundred years. Something he doesn’t want to talk about. “I’m so sorry for waking you,” he said when he stopped shaking, his smile forced. “But it seems we are just in time to watch the sunrise.” It's the type of activity that wouldn’t have occurred to Avery, despite her proclivity for staring at the sky. Her fascination lies with bodies much farther away—with the exception of Nate, of course.

I liked the idea of Nate being the one to suggest looking at the sunrise, even though Avery is the one who's always looking at the sky, the one who's always been so fascinated with stars. I think Nate suggests it as a way of trying to salvage the morning after his nightmare, a little bit of a way to apologize for waking up Avery, a little bit of a way to ground himself back in the present.

“There’s this theory about the Sun," she says, to fill the silence. "That it had a binary twin once. Another star orbiting around the same center of mass. They call it Nemesis.” “An evil twin, then," comments Nate, with a smile she hears rather than sees. “For kicking an asteroid into the Earth and killing the dinosaurs, I guess,” she explains. “There’s no evidence for Nemesis. If it was ever close enough to do any damage, it isn’t anymore, and never will be again.” She thinks about his past, still kicking asteroids into his life. Her hands venture out of the warmth to hold onto his, which are linked around her shoulders. “But we know that most stars occur in binary systems, and we suspect that almost all stars started out with a far-away companion. They get closer, or they break apart, leaving single stars. It's a mathematical model that explains some observations, anyway." “Oh, I like that. Like soulmates."

I had a lot of help from Seren about the astronomy here! Since Avery's science is astronomy and I am not an astronomer, I'm always getting these little ideas for astronomy-themed metaphors and I never know if they're total nonsense (and then I ask Seren who is very kind about answering my questions)! In this case, linking binary stars to the concept of soulmates, and then trying to connect that organically to the sunrise by bringing up the Sun's theoretical once-but-no-longer binary companion.

It’s such a Nate thing to say in response to her rambling; she has to smile. “Do you believe in that? Soulmates?” "Yes, I think so. More so now." She doesn't miss the implication in his voice, one that might have sent her panicking not too long ago. "Do you?" Avery doesn’t answer for a moment. It’s certainly a model which would explain, well, this. Them. Feelings she never felt so deeply, like he's the warm soft glow of a brand new day. But there's something sad in that, too. A hundred years from now, she will be long gone; or worse, a memory that wakes him in the middle of the night, alone.

I've changed a lot about how I view Avery and her feelings about love. I used to view her as being afraid of love or not believing in love, and that Nate would change that (but that narrative feels kind of icky to me now tbh). I think this fic and this passage really captures her bigger fear, which is that her love will hurt Nate. It's something she saw happen to Rebecca after Rook's death. Maybe they were soulmates...but maybe that was a bad thing.

"No," she finally decides. "I chose you, and you chose me, and gravity has nothing to do with it."

I'm very proud of this line. I'm not even sure if Avery really believes what she's saying, exactly; she decides. She knows that she wants Nate to believe it, that there isn't anything special about her, that when she's gone he'll be able to move on.

But he smiles to see her looking back at him and angles his face towards hers. Her heart skips a beat. He could keep her warm from light-years away, and she feels lucky to be here in his orbit, if only for a few decades.

Since writing this, I've definitely decided that Avery will become a vampire one day. She never wants to put Nate through losing someone. I really liked writing with this sense of temporariness haunting the narrative, how it turns everything a little bittersweet. But it's occurred to me since then that Avery wouldn't leave it at that, if science has given her a way to stay with Nate forever.

“I can’t decide which theory I like better," says Nate thoughtfully. “Because certainly, I chose you. And I choose you.” He dips his head low to a brush a kiss over her lips. “But, my sweet astronomer, my dearest heart, there could be no other choice.”

I really liked this bit too. Nate the diplomat finding the common ground between their differing viewpoints, even though (he doesn't realize) it kind of plays into Avery's fears. And being so smooth all the while.

Words rise to her throat: I am just the beginning for you, Nate. I think you will choose someone else some day. I hope that you do.

I'm pretty sure I wrote these lines way before I saw any of the prompt lists or had any corresponding fic idea; I think these lines were just languishing in some Tumblr draft and dying to be used.

But the words evaporate in the heat of the kiss that follows, and she lets them go. There is no use in thoughts orbiting around the inevitable future, no point in casting her eye skyward, when her universe does not need more than him or now.

I think Avery started looking at the stars in part because they were always there, even when her mother wasn't. So she's always looked up and out and away. And it's maybe the same reason she's so preoccupied with the distant future. It's just not in her nature to narrow her focus to the here and now.

But this whole sunrise-watching activity is spurred by Nate trying to shake off the memories of his past.

So in the end here, they kind of meet in the present. Avery sees the beauty in what is close and doesn't worry about what is far away. What she's been looking for out there is right with her now.

#goodness did this make any sense at all #anyway i appreciated the excuse to ramble about this fic haha i really put more thought into it than i usually do

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paimonial-rage · 1 year

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Could I request something for Gorou? I have two prompts I'd love to see you write. You can pick which one you want to go with (or pick neither lol). And it can be a fic, headcanons, analysis... anything. Don't worry about what you think I'd like because I just want to see what you'd do with this.

1) Gorou trying to prevent his crush from seeing the Ms. Hina standee at the Yae Publishing House when they’re Ms. Hina’s biggest fan (This is literally a prompt in your rules LOL)

2) What do you think Gorou was like as a child?

- @mimi-cee-genshin

Okay I am so sorry for taking so long with this. I’m gonna be answering #2 here and saving #1 for later. When I first got this ask, I didn’t realize how actually intricate it is? And because I need to explain my thought process from start to finish, you’re gonna have to sit through roads of me rambling. I um… apologize ahead of time.

The interesting thing about Gorou is that, despite seeming like one of the older siblings of his family, it’s mentioned that he’s probably the fifth son instead. Not fifth child, but fifth son. This means that he’s either in the middle of near the youngest of his siblings. When I first realized that, I wondered how in the world he became so dutiful and responsible.

Upon more thought, though, I came to realize that Gorou actually exhibits traits found in older siblings and younger siblings. No doubt is he dutiful, responsible, and driven (older sibling traits). But he’s also naive, feels pressure to measure up, and can be quite reckless (younger sibling traits). So what does this mean?

This is going to be pure headcanon and speculation here, but I imagine Gorou as a young child was very cute. He probably was the youngest for a good amount of time, so I can find the adults in his life and his older siblings doting on and spoiling him a lot. But I think Gorou would hate it. I honestly think he had a great adult(s) to look up to, so he’d want to be just like them. He’d admire how they’d take the lead, treat others, and also how they’re respected in turn. So he’d do his best to act like them, not realizing that all he’d accomplish is looking more adorable in the long run.

I can see at some point him not being the youngest anymore? Like either getting younger siblings or perhaps his older siblings ended up having kids? So he’d become even more strict on trying to imitate the people he looks up to, probably taking himself a bit too seriously. He’d do his best to be a role model, although I can see him thinking it’ll be simple and then getting completely overwhelmed trying to control a bunch of toddlers. HAHA

So to give you a picture, as a young child (younger than 5 years old), I can imagine him constantly trailing after his older siblings. Whatever they do, he’ll attempt to imitate them perfectly (often trying to do things much above his age bracket, thus causing people around him to panic). I can see him getting depressed when people coo over him, but when older ones in the village call out after him like, “Oh wow, Gorou, you’re such an adult! So responsible!” I can see his ears perking up and his tail wagging happily as he marches proudly after his siblings.

When he starts acting like the older sibling to children younger than him, I can see him doing his best to be mature (just like his idols!), and then it absolutely backfiring. He’d probably spend a lot of his time running after them and keeping them out of trouble, mediating fights, etc. No doubt he’d probably need peptalks from the adults in his life because he’ll eventually end up thinking he’s not good enough after not succeeding as well as he’d like.

At least… that’s how I imagine he’d be as a child. Basically, this kid that is trying his best to be just like his role models because he admires them so much.

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sparklingpax · 1 year

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Hi! You know, I'm here to thank you. Thanks for the content and searching for a lot of details on Super-God Masterforce! Honestly, I consider it one of the best works on transformers, and it's very nice to see people who share a love for this anime. I hope someday it will be appreciated as a classic of transformers, as it deserves. And it seems that we are on the way to that. I want to say that there is another person on this planet Earth who loves Super-God Masterforce, and is not so alone in this! I hope this thought warms you up a little! (I apologize for the mistakes, I use a translator)

HI THERE UMMM

First, let me apologize profusely for the fact that I took.....way too long to finally answer this, but it was only because I wanted to wait until I had a moment to sit down and write a thoughtful response to this >//<’’

(Also don’t worry about the translator, your message is clear and all :3 I’m going to apologize in advance just in case I have any typos in my response, as I tend to get lost in my own writing quite often haha ^^’’)

Getting this ask genuinely made my day, you are the nicest human being waaa 😭💙💕✨ thank you so much!!! And I'm glad too that there's yet another person who likes Masterforce out there!! >w< Like, there's so few of us, but we are strong, and we are growing!!! hehe >:3 I will continue doing what I can to generate content for everyone to enjoy ^w^

OMG AND YEA!! MASTERFORCE IS INDEED A CLASSIC AND DESERVES SO MUCH MORE LOVE THAN IT GETS??? Lowkey I feel like a lot of tf fans just write it off as "the strange one with lots of humans" or deadass forget about/have no idea of its existence and I just??? Like it makes me so sad and even maybe juuuust a little irked ;w; literally people are out there acting like some tf characters came from the comics and not from this series for example.....*lies on the floor and sobs*

But I will hold onto hope that someday, more people come to appreciate this series and hold it in higher regard. It's got great writing, cool designs (and in the episodes where the animation was on-point, really good visuals), a banger OST (insert songs of course included~), great characters who mostly receive a lot of development throughout the series, really interesting concepts that I wish were used more often in TF media, and just....the vibe of the whole show is so good 😩💗👏 I have so much appreciation in general for all the installments of the Japanese branch of G1, but I feel like Masterforce was just the best mix of everything that can be seen in other series 😎

So anyways, even if I am slow with my art and writing and everything, I will probably never stop making content for Masterforce, writing random ramble-y things about details of the canon lore I think are cool!! And I am honored you found my account and enjoyed it as much!

Apologies once again for being so late with this (😳🙏) but thank you so much for this ask 🥺🥰

I've kept it in mind on days where my personal life has been going badly (which is a lot lately qwq) and I start feeling bad about a lot of things, including stuff regarding my social media/art/etc--at those times I reminded myself that there are people out there who get me when I talk about Masterforce--and I smile and feel a bit better.

So ye! Sorry this is a bit long!! Here's a little doodle I made, to hopefully make up for the wait ^^'' sorry it's a bit rough 😳 but, it's the whole Autobot gang (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)💙

Have a nice day/evening also!!! :D

-Kuni 💖

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bunycube · 2 years

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!!! hi again (sorry in advance for the very long message ,_,)

wait so do you mean that there is not english translation of Lamento ? so like if i were to download it I'd need to play it in Japanese ? o.o and like find a translation and read from there at the same time !? heck :")

ominous yes!! but there's something really nice about it ??!!

💀💀 not me imagining Tetsuo as a cardboard box now ksndjdjdj i see what you mean tho still i love him nonetheless :') i think he's just a lil bit shy and quiet, keeps to himself alot.. i feel like he's never really had any close friends,, maybe any friends at all i liked seeing glimp of soft and gentle Tetsuo :') there were some really cute and tender moment with Youji too (well as cute and tender as it can be given the circumstances lolol) it's fun to imagine what they all could have been like without all this innerbeings stuff fuckin them all up

it's ok to feel so close to Youji even if you don't know why 😊♡ and YEAAAS i felt the same same same about Z!!!! :"))) very interested to hear more of your thoughts about him if you ever feel like writing them down 👀👀

skdjdjdj entire cities apart made me laugh but true :^) tho even if he left his dad and all that the hell within would still follow him,,, he can't help that he been dragged into all this by his dad and he literally has no escape ,_,

hahajjsjsjsjs i know now there are no sweet endings lmao i can't say i didnt know at first because i had been warned but STILLLLLL i wasnt expecting that from Makoto!!!!! for that end to be so unhinged x') i thought he'd be the less bad difjfjdj

i do like to also imagine something where they someone all get free from the nonsense and just get to have normal lives and happiness ;_;

LOL i dont remember the ugly outfit :"))) i wasn't sure about Rin at first like ,,,, what's his angle,,, he is just pretending to be nice,,, why so mysterious,,,, he did grow on me but idk idk

aw im sorry Nano's made you feel that way :'( i love him very much :'):

aaaa i wasn't sure what to think of Motomi in all the other routes i was very mmm🤔🤔🤔🤔mmm but when i did his route i was like !!!!😍😍😍!!!!!

yeah Akira was alright but Aoba probably remains my fav protagonist(is that the right word??) and and i loved Takeru alot too , before he died when he sees like his sister and his parents and ;_; made me cry lowkey wish he had a route too ~ aND IT'S OK I LOVE GUNJI TOO WOAA

i like Arbitro too a little for some reason there's just something about him ,,,,, but his route was really underwhelming to me ??? idk i was expecting more from him

NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE!! RAMBLE AWAY very interesting to read someone being excited about what they are talking about !! :)))))))

never apologize for long messages!!! i love em! response under cut

there IS an eng translation for lamento! its just a pretty long process to download it haha. i was saying that i had to download some dvd mounting thing to get it to work snfbsb the game itself is fully translated, no worriesbthere!!

yesyes its like kimda ominous but still calming w all rhe quiet sunset empty classroom vibez...you know....

😭😭 oh yeah i get u, i think tetsuo is just a reserved kid plus he prob felt like he didnt fit in very well? thats just me guessing but he seems like that kind of guy...i think hes the same as youji in that respect, both of them kimd of quiet n awkward n not teh type to easily make friends :) he does some pretty bad things but im like sigh well its this kind of game so ofc that happens...besides that i think hes just an awkward quiet kid who looks rly intimidating like hes not bad once u start talking to him. i lovednsome of his gentler scenes w youji, my favs when they were eating ramen and tetsuo picks out the bamboo shoots from youjis bowl bc he doesnt like them...it made me so 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 i also loved when youji was showing him pics of his nephew ...idk idk sp is so dark but i loveee gentler scenes like this its so 💔 to me that they manage to find moments of peace despite everything around them...

oh true i thought abt this too...no matter how far zenya runs away he can never escape bc the thing thats causimg all his problems is his own body, so he just cant run away from it or do anything abt it ;___; poor boy he never asked for this n his whole life is just doomed from tjebstart bc of his shitty father...

if i started talking abt why i like zenya we would be here ALLL LDAY and rhis post would literslly never end lol i just like analysing him and how everythign hes been through shapes his actions and behaviour n all hmmmm

OH YES...sweetnpool normal au :))) i lvoe to imagine it i feel like tetsuo youji n makoto would hang our together n zenya is that one guy no one invited but he jsut joined in anyway n the others dont rlycwant him there but well. hes there now

lmaoo this is the ugly outfit

ohh yeah i was thinking abt this yesterday too and aoba is hands-down my fav chiral protag!,$& i jusr love him sm his personality design everything is chef kiss hes so fun and lovely and means sm to me. hes very comforting to me personally as well and hes just a special boy...tho i love the other protags as well haha

OH YEAH i loved takeru too wtfff i wasnso sad when he died bc he had never had antthing good ivhis life n thenche dies SO BRUTALLY...and he jsut wantednto help his family it made me v sad :( they spent sm time on him i fully expected him to atleast have an ending so when he died i was like huh, wiat what 😭😭😭😭

ngl, arbitro makes me sick 2 my stomach for reasons u prob already know but he surprisingly isnt relevant ti the plot st all? so i keep forgetting abt him. i liked how campy his design was but thats it. hecmakes me sick !!! yeah jdbfbd

same for u! i lovenreading lomg responses haha i always ramble a lot so i feel less guilty if the person also writes a long reoly, beside its very fun to read and respond to!

#ask #ill put under cut wait i need to go on desktop #long post

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minustwofingers · 9 months

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I'm austistic and I try to be mindful of my conversations with others and what they have to say and vice versa. The toxic situation I dealt with doesn't help matters because the person was very abusive and wanted me to be seen and not heard. So, in light of that sometimes I overcompensate and ramble on... So, I apologize for that and for any word choices that don't reflect what I mean to say and gives off a different tone or I'm not sure the right words to use here aside from that. With the arguments I have for my last message that concerns the Abby side of it, is complicated. For an example for me it is more towards your second observation as opposed to the first, with some assessments slightly in-between. Then, there is the assessments where, I can’t see them together due to everything that has happened in canon. Like for an example on Ellie's side, how can she adapt to a relationship with Abby after she kills Joel so brutally in front her where if you look closely at the golf club which I didn’t notice the first time around, you can see some of Joel's brain matter on at least one side of it, while she is being held down. Then, kills Jesse in front of her, nearly kills Dina while she is pregnant and seems to revel in it because that is the impression she gave me in my playthroughs, to before with Abby being okay with her father murdering her for a cure since he never got Ellie's consent before she was put under and there was no guarantee it would work thus why I use murder because that is what it is or can easily be intrepreted as. He was okay with murdering a 14 year old girl. Why did he not ask for Ellie's consent if he was so sure it was going to work and even then he should have gotten her consent? There is no excuse for that. Marlene can't speak for Ellie either, only Ellie can speak for herself. He didn't want her to say no and then leave, but Abby told him if it were her she would be fine with it. But, Ellie isn't Abby. Then, from Abby's side of it, Ellie kills Jordan, Nora, Alice, Mel and Owen, and threatens Lev at the end forcing a fight between them, and the list goes on, for both sides. So, while I can see character growth and them moving forward, given the impressions they have both given me, I can’t see them together. As for I how I feel about canon, aside from that is complicated, because there are a few things I would change myself when writing my fanfictions. Like when Ellie loses the parts of her fingers in canon due to Abby, in mine she wouldn't lose them at all. To name just one of them. I apologize for my ramblings, any repetitions and any poor word choices I have made in this message or past ones I have sent today. I appreciate you being as you have been because there are some who wouldn't be and it makes me afraid to say anything because of how they misinterpret what I am trying to say, and sometimes it brings me back to how that abusive person was to me because of how they went about it whenever I said something that is in disagreement to what they believe. I love your writing and you are a good person.

hello again x2 anon!! (i promise to keep this one a little briefer than last time!!)

first of all, thank you again very much for taking the time to read what i wrote...i was honestly not expecting you to bc it was very rambling and overly detailed, so it means a lot to me that you took the time to both do that and write a thoughtful response :)

please don't apologize for explaining yourself! i feel like it's really tough to get a read on what people say online, so i appreciate you taking the time to clarify your position since i feel like i really get where you're coming from now. i hope i didn't come off as too aggressive—like i said before, i just have a lot of thoughts on this haha and i hope the length of my responses come off as just interested instead of angry! (i love discussions about this sort of stuff because it really does make you think, so i just want to make it clear that i'm enjoying speaking with you/hearing your side and that i've never been angry/upset with you during this exchange). also you're welcome to write as much as you'd like to my inbox. as long as it's not like a full hate letter i'm always happy to see messages of any length in my inbox!!

before i get into the ellie x abby stuff, i wanted to return to the whole unhealthy relationship thing because i totally get where you're coming from. our experiences may not have been the exact same, but my abusive ex made me feel the same way and it was so horrible. i’m so sorry that happened to you :( i wouldn’t wish that kind of partner or relationship on anyone. i sincerely hope that you find (or have already found) someone who doesn't make you feel bad for explaining how you feel/someone who is still kind even if they misinterpret something <3

anyway, just some final thoughts now that i feel like i understand where you're coming from a little more:

i totally totally get what you mean about how gruesome the background is between ellie and abby and why that makes you uninterested in any sort of ellie x abby pairing. i don't mean to downplay that at all! i think we just differ in the fact that maybe im a little more morbidly fascinated with seemingly doomed pairs just because of the challenge it poses to developing a plot, which is why i was drawn to it. i think that maybe if i'd actually played the game and spent that much time with both characters, i might feel differently or like i feel the anger of both ellie/abby a little more personally instead of just understanding it as a plot mechanism

also i suppose this is a little detached from the direct ellie x abby ship but in my own personal opinion i will always believe that joel made the right decision to save ellie/kill abby's father. i get that some people like to analyze that decision a little more but that's something i've always been pretty black and white on tbh, so i think we're on the same page about that whole situation being majorly fucked up 😭

your comment about the missing fingers is SO real. me too. if i write a post tlou2 ellie ever she's gonna have intact fingers if it's the only detail i write in!!

last note about how i'd choose to write ellie x abby: i'll end up giving it a whirl once i feel like i'm more solid on the exact plot events of tlou2, but i don't know if i'll ever finish/write it. this is because it's totally possible that my characterizations of them actually do turn out to be super similar to yours in the sense that no matter what kind of situation i put them in, their relationship doesn't flow. i would never ever want to write a genuinely abusive or toxic relationship (messy and angsty sure; unhealthy and controlling never) because that's not something that i want to write unless it's supposed to be a story about how bad unhealthy relationships are. so i think that if i found that no matter how i tried to situate them, they still ended up unhealthy, i probably wouldn't post it/continue it.

anyway anon, thank you very very much for being so kind and having this convo with me...it's so fun to pick apart why we believe what we do/why certain writing choices are made. and thank you for being probably the most civil anon i've ever had a disagreement (even though this felt more like a discussion) with 😭

#dee overshares #much love!!#i appreciate you!

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m1ckeyb3rry · 1 year

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hii !!!

so i decided to reread pomegranate ink bc i just love it way too much, and I FORGOT HOW FUNNY TULLIA IS, i literally love her sm omg she’s definitely one of my fav characters that you’ve written (along with friedrich from SITH!)

i completely forgot how WHIPPED yuta is for the mc & im absolutely living for it omg. the way he was so protective over her during the goodwill event & literally went batshit crazy bc she got hurt had me wanting to scream /pos

i also love how supportive noritoshi is! instead of making him a toxic partner, you made him trusting and supportive and it’s so refreshing. other authors may have gone with the cliche & made him toxic, and i’m so glad you didn’t. how he acts so sweet to the mc and wants her to be happy despite their situation is so endearing to me. it shows that he cares sm abt her platonically & i adore their friendship <3

AND TOGE!!! i love how he’s been a shoulder to lean on since the beginning! he’s helped the mc out sm & he’s such a reliable friend to her. their friendship is also one i adore. & toge & tullia are so cute, i hope they get together soon!

i’m loving tanvi’s character so far!! you rlly have such a good way of incorporating ocs into the story where they’re not just randomly thrown in. and you always find a way to show their importance too! i can’t wait to see more of tanvi in the future! she seems so sweet & i feel like her & tullia would get along so well.

sorry for ranting sm!! i just love pomegranate ink with my whole heart. it’s definitely my second fav of your fics, right behind SITH!

i’m interested to hear what you would do in regards to when yuta comes back during shibuya. like, would the mc stay in tokyo & meet the first-years & participate in the goodwill event or would she go with yuta overseas? it’d be cool to see her interact with the first-years though!! especially nobara, i feel like those two would get along despite nobara’s headstrong personality! i also think her & yuji would be good friends! thinking abt how gojo wanted to set her up with megumi would be funny in regards to those two meeting for the first time LMFAO. i definitely think megumi would respect her like he does yuta & i feel like she’d be like a protective older sister figure to him or maybe she’d remind him of tsumiki in a way?? i just like theorizing! :D

i’ll stop rambling now haha, i hope you’re doing well & taking care of yourself! :))

— 🪐

HIII sorry for the late response I feel like I’ve been kinda MIA recently!!

I feel like it’s not Yuta if he’s not at least a little whipped I’m glad you liked how I wrote him :) halfway through that fic I gave up on trying to make everyone be in character and just decided to write based on vibes alone HAHAHHA I think the best way to describe it is JJK vol 0 on crack tbh

I considered going the typical route or having him be in love with her but it’s just sm better with them as friends. Noritoshi is so sweet and he deserves sm and I hate when authors make characters villains for no reason when canonically they probably wouldn’t behave that way

TOGE IS SO GOBLIN I LOVEEE HIM he feels like someone who will just always come through when you really need him and isn’t afraid to say things straight up 🫶🏼 the best friend we all need FR and you’re so right he and tullia should be together by now…maybe if I ever actually wrote they would be 💔💔💔

Aww thank you I love using OCs so I’m glad people like them!! Tanvi will be a love interest for an already-introduced character but I will leave it a mystery as to who 🤞🏼

DON’T APOLOGIZE I LOVEEE LONG ASKS I always get happy when I see them in my inbox hehehe they’re the best form of validation Fr

MC will stay in Tokyo when Yuta goes overseas!! She’ll probably have a more background role because otherwise some plot points simply wouldn’t happen (ex during the exchange event she would be left to fight Todo as they’re evenly matched and she’s beaten him before) but she will be present for most major things. I think nobara would definitely look up to her the way she does with maki, and I think the MC would probably love the fact that someone thinks she’s strong HAHAH. I do think she would like yuji a lot as well!! Honestly she’s a pretty friendly person I think she doesn’t really dislike anyone (except for naoya). I can see yuji and tullia getting along very well though! And as for megumi…I think gojo would constantly be third wheeling or indiscreetly spying on them anytime they try to talk so that might make it hard for them to be super close but who knows lol.

I’ve been doing pretty well recently, just been super busy which is why I haven’t written anything in so long. I watched the new AOT ep with my family today which will hopefully motivate me to update SOMETHING soon hahaha.

#answered asks #pomegranate ink

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vintage-brass-tc · 1 year

Text

Yesterday, I caught myself thinking about Friday and how excited I was to see M and U, forgetting entirely that we were written to have that day off this year. It was kind of funny, honestly, considering how much stuff happened this week, both work-wise and TC-wise. I’m glad I have today off though, so I can have some time to myself, and some time to reflect.

I think I’ve come to the point where, although I love them very much, I think I’ve stopped romanticizing them to the point I used to. When they interact with me, I’m always very happy, of course, and I still become very excited and giddy as per usual, but I’ve grown to the point that I don’t go out of my way to talk to them for no reason. And that’s good. A little distance has been good for all of us, I think.

Valentine’s Day was a little wild, though, since I was super busy doing absolutely everything, handing out gifts to all my TCs and other teachers and whatnot. (Huge ramble session below about the past few days! :) )

And earlier on that day, when I had dropped off U’s gift, he was standing and staring at his phone with a fixed expression on his face. I could sort of tell he had something on his mind, both by his demeanor, and by the fact he didn’t thank me. Not even nonchalantly. Poor guy. Haha. After school on that day, I had sectionals with M, in which U had walked in to ask me to help some of his students out with a piece they were playing.

Of course, I did do that when the sectional had ended, but the piece that was chosen for these students was written tragically— it sounded like a “dumpster fire”, just as U had said— and I had told U explicitly “That piece is horrible. Did you really want them to play this?” And I had meant it as a joke to tease him or whatever, but it didn’t really come out that way. 😅 In response, he retorted, “Thanks for the accusatory tone, but I didn’t pick this piece for them. Their lesson teacher did.” And I immediately felt horrible, especially considering how occupied he looked earlier on. 😭

We left soon after to pick a new piece for the kids but that interaction bothered me for a while. I was very humbled, and realized that I shouldn’t try to push myself onto them, in a metaphorical sense. I would just be the me that they knew, the one who was always kind and respectful. That doesn’t change anything anyway— I’ve always been nice and respectful to them. They deserve kindness and a patient attitude from their peers. Unless we’re having a conversation and that teasing attitude flows naturally between us— which has happened in passing during moments we were comfortable— I won’t push anything. The next day, after class, I had come up to ask him about next year, as I was going to sign up for one of his classes. When I said his name, he turned to look at me right away, which surprised me quite a bit. I continued to walk towards him and he took a step or two towards me, until we were standing at a good talking distance right in front of each other. I thought I would take the opportunity to apologize before anything else.

“I’m sorry about yesterday,” I told him. I felt my brows scrunch in worry, and I swallowed any extra words threatening to spill in fear of making things awkward or overwhelming him with my rambling. His eyes widened and his brows raised in what seemed to be a state of shock. Despite his surprise, he responded in such a soft and gentle voice, maintaining eye contact, “It’s okay!…”

I paused for a moment to process his reassuring forgiveness, then continued lightly, “Do you think there’s there any time this week we can talk about the class? Or…” I trailed off, and he waited a couple of seconds, averting his eyes and looking at the ground, then running a hand through his hair. “Give me the rest of the week…I have a lot going on right now.” I frowned at this for a moment then quickly perked up to assure him it was fine, as to not give him another reason to stress. “That’s okay!! That’s completely fine, I understand, don’t worry!! I was just asking you.” He then looked back up at me, saying nothing. I figured this would be the time to go. “Thank you!!” I turned to walk away, then sent a grateful smile his way as a goodbye, while he just stared at me until I turned away. I was glad to talk to him, even if it was brief. I do hope he’s alright, though, and I hope he knows I’m always there to talk to him about things, just as he’s done for me. Oh, and M has been very nice this week as well by the way, giving me plenty of attention and opportunities to play out. He’s always just been his friendly and charming self. And I’ve lucked out too— he never, or at least rarely, gets onto me when I get there a few minutes before the start of rehearsal. I’m so grateful that he’s kind to me. It makes life so much less stressful that way.

On the subject of kindness, the attention he’s given me lately has been way nicer to receive as well, especially since I haven’t been ‘desperate’ for it, if that makes sense. I think he appreciates that just as much. Less spontaneous interactions means the ones I do get are way more genuine. That’s the way I see it. Again, I’m not pushing anything, and it’s great. OH. Yeah. Um, one last note about M this week. We were about to cross paths at one point— just before sectionals actually— and immediately after seeing me, M’s big, curious eyes met my own. He wasn’t entirely focused it seemed, and no words were exchanged between us. We just looked at each other.

Then I saw his face go from distant to ABSOLUTE TERROR as the top of his shoe slid under a HUGE pole protruding from the ground, sending him STUMBLING forward.

OH MY GOD I FELT SO BAD??? He didn’t fall thank goodness, but my eyes were SO WIDE and my mouth was GAPING. I exclaimed, “OH MY GOD, are you okay???” AND HE DIDN’T EVEN LOOK AT ME 😭 HE JUST KEPT WALKING.

AND THE FUNNY PART IS THAT I THINK HIS TRIPPING KNOCKED OVER ALL OF THE PROPS AGAINST THE WALL AS WELL BECAUSE WHEN I WALKED OUT, THEY HAD ALL TOPPLED OVER AND U AND OTHER STUDENTS WERE TRYING TO FIX IT??? OH MY GOD!!!

BHAHAHAH I FEEL SO BAD ABOUT HOW EMBARRASSED HE WAS BECAUSE HE DIDN’T TALK TO ME DURING THE FIRST 15 MINUTES OF SECTIONALS UNTIL HE HAD TO, THEN HE REALIZED I WOULDN’T MAKE FUN OF HIM 😭😭 IT WAS SO FUNNY THOUGH??? OH MY GOSH POOR GUY

Anyway, what a great end to the week. I’m glad everything worked out. And I needed a break. Whooh! Hope they and all of you have a great weekend. Thanks for reading all the way. ❤️

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