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yumedoca · 10 months

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Hi hi! I always love reading analysis and your analyses always fun to read!❤️

Ok. So as fellow Ataru's fan myself I always wanted to see an analysis about Ataru's character (not about his character in general because there are so much about him)... Its more about comparison of Ataru's characters we got (manga, 80'anime, and All-stars), not for which one is better but more about how they are same but have their own uniqueness/something that makes them different with each others.

It is so interesting for me honestly, even for all-stars Ataru who is based on manga Ataru still has difference with his manga self

Ok lets stop here because I will just rambling in you ask box, I just wanted to leave request huehue

((I was planning to make this analysis myself but then I realized I suck at it :D👍))

Hai there! First of all, Thanks so much for the compliment 💐

Hope you’re doing great and thanks for being patient!!

Analysis under the cut…

Welcome to today’s episode of ‘Yuca Analyzes Silly Things (Bonus Edition!!)’ You know what we’re discussing since you’ve probably read the ask, so here we go!!

Ok, so first we’ll talk about the differences between manga and og anime Ataru. Then, we’ll compare it with remake Ataru…

OG anime Ataru is someone who I have a love/ hate relationship when it comes to writing. His character is not really written well from a writers POV, he is still pretty funny though. But I figured out the reason why it is like that. It’s because of simplicity. You see, back in the 80’s UY is a gag anime, so when you present something to the audience, being simple instead of complex is the way to go. Of course, nowadays we have more complex storytelling in some gag stories, but that was the 80’s. Gag anime aren’t really known for complex stories, so the prospect of giving UY characters more character development wasn’t really something people thought of that time. Yea, I know the surrealism stuff exists, but that’s probably their way of showing “we can be more than a funny show but without the character development“ So instead it became simple. Something you don’t need to look it too much, but still have fun with. You can exaggerate things more than it actually is or you can do the opposite. Not to mention, different episodes had different writers and each writer put their different views into writing (looking at you, Oshi). And in that way, along with everyone else, Ataru also became simple. Some of his gags were exaggerated, some remained the same and the others were lessened. So it creates an inconsistent character (the reordering of chapters doesn’t help either). To prove my point here’s an example from the Inaba storyline when Ataru sees his married future with Lum, and the difference in character between both versions (I haven’t seen the anime version in a while, but I do remember what happened so the order might be a bit clunky, so apologies for that.)

Original Anime: Ataru (and Lum) sees Future Mendo brooding about how he doesn’t accept their marriage and that he’ll come for her in the future. Then they see Lum coming out of a church with her new husband Ataru with tears in her eyes (of joy). Everyone they know is around and they all celebrate together happily and then take a group photo together. And Present Ataru is happy to see their married future and honestly why shouldn’t he be? Aside from the fact that he doesn’t get a harem, he gets to be with the one he truly loves and everyone is happy about their wedding. He has no reason to hate this future. This in a whole is a simple take, Ataru’s character changes a little because of him showing that he doesn’t mind a married future with Lum. That is all. It’s a sweet and romantic moment shared by them.

Manga: Ataru sees Lum coming out of a church with her new husband Ataru while teasing him happily and then joyfully cries. But Ataru is having trash thrown at him and being heckled at because apparently there are many who don’t accept his wedding with Lum and is harassing him in that sense. And Present Ataru is happy to see their married future, but here he has a reason to see it in a negative light. Ataru is being hated here by many and they are not celebrating, but the reason he wants to save this future is because Lum’s smiling, not because of himself. This in a whole is a complex take, Ataru’s character changes a lot more not only because of him showing that he doesn’t mind a married future with Lum, but it’s also because he only cares for her happiness and hers only which is quite selfless of him. This is hinted at a little in the og anime with Ataru’s line “She’s crying…” which is also in the manga, but here because his situation isn’t all that great for him, it adds to the sentiment. This scene adds a bit more depth to Ataru as well as Ataru and Lum’s relationship as a whole. It’s more deeper than the og anime’s and it’s something you can understand if you look into it deeply.

You can see how one shows a take on what you expect love to be and what it actually is. This theory I stated was actually from a Japanese website where someone described the original anime’s take on romance as childish and like a fantasy, while the manga’s take on romance was more mature and down to earth. And honestly, I agree. This explains why Ataru and Lum has had genuine kisses in the anime but not the manga. And this explains tons of other things as well. I do prefer the manga’s more mature storytelling, but I love the anime’s more simple one as well. That's the one that more people can understand easily and no one ever said simple was bad, it's quite refreshing. Being an audience to both types of media, while understanding how and why each is written differently instead of going ‘X is better than Y’ or ‘Y is better than X’ and causing arguments, You can learn to appreciate them more. I know I appreciate the anime more after I read that random Japanese person’s opinion (Thank you random Japanese person).

Now remake Ataru, how is he different from his manga counterpart? I would say he shares 3/4 similarities which his manga (OG Ataru shares 1/2). The first difference between them is that remake Ataru isn’t a complete character. There are a lot of chapters skipped in the remake and each chapter is supposed to build his character, so because a chunk of chapters aren’t there, he isn’t the complete Ataru. Do we see him on his first date with Lum? No. Do we see his first night with her? No. Do we see the time he cared for a caterpillar no one else cared for? No. And really, that’s how it is, because the remake is four cours long not everything’s there and there’s nothing the writers can do because that’s how the show was ordered. The parts of his character which are the same to the manga is like that because the writers wanted to make it a good adaptation, so that didn’t change most of the things. The only other difference I can point out between remake and manga Ataru is that early manga Ataru is waaaaaay pervier than early remake Ataru is. For example, in episode 10 Ataru in exchange of showing two girls a yo-yo trick, he asks to go on a date with them. In the manga, Ataru just straight up flips a girl’s skirt. Ataru’s perviness decreases as time went on the manga and remake Ataru’s horny level is on later manga Ataru’s level if you know what I mean. I guess it’s to make him more likeable or problematic? Idk. But that’s really all differences I can gather.

TLDR; Manga Ataru is the full package and has more character depth. Original Ataru is simple in character, it’s not consistent but he is very much absurdly funny and Remake Ataru is 3/4 of the package and is less horny. In the end, they are all great in their own way

Thank you for taking time to read this analysis and sorry If I made any errors. Hope you all have a great day ahead and thanks @ikemengoessbrrrrr for the suggestion! 💕

#thanks for the ask!#ive decided not to attach images to small analysis and stuff #also I was in a hurry so I decided to focus on the important stuff #urusei yatsura #うる星やつら #ataru moroboshi #lum #urusei yatsura 2022 #atalum #urusei yatsura manga #my analysis #bonus analysis #character analysis #requested analysis #god i love him so much

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goddess-aelin · 2 years

Text

Stick to You Like Gum on My Shoe

Aelin accidentally spits gum into the hair of the gorgeous guy sitting in front of her in class. This could either be a disaster or the best thing that ever happened to her.

Word count: 6.5k

FLUFF. So much fluff.

TW: mention of death. Mention of controlling relationship, language

A/N: listen, I know some people prefer long haired Rowan but I’m fully team short hair Rowan. 100%.This is just a fun little 6.5k Drabble with lots of fluffy tropes. Sharing a bed, drunken shenanigans, enemies to friends to lovers, hurt/comfort. I mean, what could you ask for?

Aelin’s senior 8AM history of world politics class was the bane of her existence. The class itself? Perfect. She loved history and she loved politics.Those two subjects combined were her major, after all. No, she hated mornings. If it were up to her, she would be sleeping in until ten every day, not speaking to anyone until at least one cup of coffee was in her system, sweetened with an exorbitant amount of sugar. Who even scheduled classes at 8AM in their senior year? The answer, apparently, was her.

That was her excuse for her current predicament. Simply a series of unfortunate events leading to a level of embarrassment she had never experienced before. All stemming from her lack of sleep and hatred of mornings.

She didn’t mean to do it. The day started when Aelin didn’t have time to brush her teeth that morning, running late from snoozing her alarm one too many times and subsequently waking up with only five minutes to spare and a three minute walk to her class. In trying to hide her morning breath (at least she didn’t go drinking last night, thank the Gods), Aelin had decided to pop a stick of spearmint gum in her mouth. Nothing out of the ordinary. Aelin chewed gum all the time. Peppermint, spearmint, cherry. She had an entire arsenal to get her through the day. It wasn’t her fault that the professor happened to be the most hilarious person on the planet while dismissing them from class. It wasn’t her fault she was sleep deprived (ok maybe that was her fault but she would never admit that) and couldn’t help her cackle at whatever corny joke left her professor’s mouth. The same joke that she couldn’t even remember and was the catalyst for her chewed, disgusting, morning-breath gum ending up in the long hair of the guy in front of her.

Aelin always admired Mr. Silver Hair from afar. She always noticed his shiny, flowing, grey-tinted hair that ran to just below his shoulders. Sometimes it was pulled up and back in a ponytail, sometimes in a half-up bun. The hair sometimes ran over his extremely muscled shoulders and touched his deliciously defined arms. Those arms were the subject of many fantasies she dreamed up during the more boring periods of the class. She imagined how it would feel to run her fingers over his smooth, tanned skin. To be lifted up by his toned arms. To run her fingers through his silky hair. Oh, to live in that fantasy.

It was a much better fantasy than her current situation where she was internally panicking over the fact that her wad of gum now rested peacefully in the hair nearest to this poor man’s skull. Maybe he wouldn’t feel it and she could escape before he noticed. Or maybe he’d be nice about it. Both dreams were shattered as the victim turned around, fixing his emerald gaze upon her and reaching a hand into his gorgeous locks. Aelin had to admit that she was dumbstruck by his green eyes. She felt as if they pierced her soul and it felt as if time stopped. Aelin always knew she had a penchant for dramatics, though, and that thought was confirmed as a deep voice spoke a few choice words.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” He might as well have slapped Aelin in the face with how quickly she was torn from her reverie. Raising her eyebrows and gaping like a fish was all she could do before he picked up his books and stormed away angrily.

Aelin’s head dropped into her hands, mortification overtaking her at the thought of what just transpired. She just spat gum into the hair of the most beautiful man she’d ever seen. Fuck. She had two other classes right after this, no coffee in her system, and she was starving. That, in addition to what happened just minutes ago and the fact that she had two exams to study for, were all the reasons why this day was off to an absolutely fantastic start.

- - - - -

Aelin made her way back to the apartment she shared with Lysandra and Elide, completely exhausted. She was ready to pop open her favorite bottle of wine and forget everything that happened that day. After the incident, her day only got worse. She decided to get a coffee from the campus cafe but turned around as soon as she saw what may or may not have been a head of silver hair. Aelin couldn’t take that chance. So she walked all the way over to the vending machine on the other side of the building and got herself an iced tea instead. The same iced tea that she immediately spilled on herself. Then, afterwards, she received her grade for her senior math midterm which was….not so great. She didn’t fail but she could’ve done better. To top it off, today was the anniversary of her father’s death. Really, it was no wonder why her day was going the way it was.

So yes, Aelin was ready for a nice glass of wine. Or two or three. Anything to drown out this horrible day.

When she entered the shared space, she smelled something delicious. Lysandra was at the stove, cooking what looked to be a scrumptious beef stew. Aelin could have kissed her friend at that moment. But when she went to reach for a tiny taste test, Lysandra smacked her hand away with the wooden spoon, claiming that she had a netflix date tonight with her new boy and wanted to bring something easy but nice to dinner for him. Who this elusive “him” was, Aelin didn’t know and her friend refused to tell her. But Aelin would find out soon enough, she always did. Though it wasn’t like Lysandra to be so secretive. She had her fair share of lovers but she had never been this quiet about it before. Aelin wasn’t sure if that meant she really liked him or didn’t think it would last. She had a mind to follow Lysandra when she left but decided against feeling the wrath of her friend afterwards.

After Lysandra left, Aelin was just about to text Elide when the door opened and in walked the woman in question, arm in arm with her hulking brute of a boyfriend. Aelin and Lorcan were self-professed enemies. They simply had clashing personalities. Truth be told, she thought sweet, innocent Elide could do much better than Lorcan Salvaterre but she kept her mouth shut about that since Elide was in love. So Aelin kept her distance and tried not to pick fights. Even if she tried, though, she couldn’t help it sometimes. It was just so much fun.

Lorcan’s presence made Aelin decide to get takeout by herself and hole herself in her room to study. She had two exams tomorrow, anyway, and then she was free. At least for the weekend. Fenrys was having a party at his new house he rented with his brother and new roommate, Vaughn, the next day and Aelin could not have been more excited. She needed a good party after this week. She needed to dance with Lysandra, take shots with Elide, and absolutely crush Aedion at beer pong. And she needed to completely forget every mortifying thing that happened that day.

- - - - -

Aelin was ready. She did her entire makeup and pre-party routine, already having had a few hard seltzers and some whiskey shots. She knew she looked damn good in her tight, golden dress. It wasn’t her normal choice of outfit but Lysandra leant it to her and insisted that it would look amazing on her. Lysandra, as always, was right. To top it off, she had her favorite pair of heels on and a pair of cute emerald gemstone earrings dangled from her ears.

She could already hear the bumping bass coming from the corner house as she, Lysandra, and Elide made their way to the party. Aedion was meeting them there, never one to miss out on one of Fenrys’ great bashes. Aelin could tell that the house was already full of people based on what she could see through the windows. And as they entered the doorway, her suspicion was confirmed. There were a ton of people there. More than Fenrys probably even knew. And it was loud.

Elide quickly veered off to the left, meeting Lorcan in the doorway to the kitchen and kissing him as if she hadn’t seen him in months. Ick. Aelin made a face and decided that this was a great time to get a drink, taking the other entrance to the kitchen. Here, she found the party’s host and gave him the tightest bear hug she could manage in her already-tipsy state.

“Aelin! So glad you could make it!” Fenrys always had a way of making her smile. He was like a puppy in human form, always happy even if he truly wasn’t. He took her hand and pulled her back into the living room before she could grab a drink. “So Aelin, you know Connall. And this here is our new roommate, Vaughn.” Aelin gave a little wave to the man in question. Fenrys looked as if he was searching for someone. “Our other new roommate is around here somewhere.” Other new roommate? Aelin thought it was only the three of them. Hmm.

Just as she was about to leave to finally grab her drink, Fenrys shouted a loud “Rowan!” Across the room. Aelin heard a voice before she turned and distantly thought about how deep and beautiful it was. Familiar, too. And as she turned, she found out why.

“You.” Mr. Long Silver Hair- Rowan- spat. Except Mr. Long Silver Hair now had short hair. Oh gods. It wasn’t often Aelin was embarrassed but this was one of the rare occasions she was sure she turned beet red.

Aelin was about to reply. With a sorry? With an argument? She wasn’t sure since this man completely infuriated her in the few moments she’d known him. But before she could reply, Fenrys started. “Wait, you two already know each other?”

Rowan looked as if he could spit fire. “Know each other? This is the girl that spit gum into my hair yesterday and caused me to get a very unwanted haircut!” His tone and arrogance were stroking Aelin’s fire.

At that, Fenrys started cackling. “Wait, you’re gum girl? Oh, this is just too good!” Rowan glared.

“It was an ACCIDENT, okay? I didn’t mean to do it!”

“And still, you haven’t even apologized for it yet!”

“Well you haven’t even given me a chance to! You walked away right after!”

“Well maybe you shouldn’t chew gum in class anyway!”

“What kind of stupid comeback is that!? I’ll chew gum whenever I please, thank you very much!”

“You’re probably the person that sticks gum to the bottom of tables. No regard for anyone else.”

“Well. You’re….You’re..” Aelin didn’t know what he was. She let out a noise of frustration. He was so aggravating. Arrogant. Irritating. Rude. Obnoxious. Handsome. Boy, was he handsome, especially with the short hair. And boy, did she want to kiss him right now. She wouldn’t. But she wanted to. And apparently Fenrys had the same thought because he was looking at them as if they were the night’s best entertainment. She knew the gleam in his eyes, knew what his raised eyebrow meant.

Aelin was about to storm away in frustration when a voice she did not want to hear called her name. Chaol was weaving through the crowd toward her, looking like he wanted to have a conversation about their relationship. Or lack thereof. One in which Aelin did not want to have with him. Ever.

“Aelin! Wait! Can I just talk to you for a second? I don’t like how we left things. Please!”

I don’t like how we left things? Rich, coming from a guy who called her a monster just weeks before. The guy who told her she was unlovable because she didn’t let people in. Yeah, she was not going to have this conversation with him.

So instead, she turned tail and walked briskly for the kitchen. She found a staircase leading up to the second floor so she took it, grabbing two beers from the cooler on her way up. She remembered Fenrys mentioning a balcony and luckily, the first door she tried was the winner.

The cool night air soothed her soul and calmed her nerves. What she hoped was going to be a night of fun and dancing was quickly turning into a night she’d very much like to forget. She opened the first beer with a crisp pop and, after realizing how disgusting it tasted, decided it was just better to chug it. So she did. And the second one. Maybe she’d feel better after this. Aelin wasn’t a heavy drinker, she swears. It had just been a really shitty, ridiculous week.

Once she was feeling better, lighter, she decided to go and find Lysandra. She turned the knob on the door only to be met with resistance. Locked. Shit. Fishing her phone from her wristlet, she called Lysandra to no answer. Elide picked up on the second ring and when asked to come and help her, Elide claimed she was indisposed. Which really meant she went home with Lorcan and was currently naked. She told Aelin to try calling Fenrys, which she did to no avail, either. No answer from Aedion and she didn’t want to even think about calling Chaol. Fuck. She truly was stuck out here.

As a last resort, she tried banging on the doors and yelling. After waiting a few minutes to see if someone came up to find her, she slumped on one of the patio chairs, giving up. Of course no one would be able to hear over the pounding music. Her phone was about to die. She had no food or water. And it was getting a little chilly out here. This definitely was not how she imagined her night going, that’s for sure.

It could’ve been minutes or hours that Aelin sat there, distantly listening to the muffled bass pumping from below. She supposed she could try climbing down the side of the building but it was high. And she wasn’t feeling entirely stable after chugging those two beers. Finally, she heard the click of the door and got up as quickly as her tipsy legs would allow. Which apparently wasn’t fast enough because the person was already standing on the balcony staring at her, door completely shut. And if it wasn��t Rowan. Shit.

“What are you doing out here?” Even though Aelin knew he probably hated her because of the gum incident, she was taken aback by the accusatory tone in his voice.

“I came out to get fresh air, you Buzzard. And then I got locked out here. And now you’re locked out here too unless you can magically produce a key.” Aelin knew they would have no such luck when his frown deepened. “I called everyone who I know at this party and no one picked up or had already gone home.”

“Let me call Fenrys.”

“Tried it. And texted him. He’s probably making out with that brunette he was hanging with when I got here.”

“How about Lorcan?”

Aelin scoffed. “As if I would have his number. But no. Elide left early which meant she went home with Lorcan which means they’re occupied. I already tried Lysandra and Aedion, too.”

“They’re also currently occupied.” Aelin could only gape.

“What?” Lysandra and Aedion?

“I mean, you’re talking about that green eyed brunette you came with, right? And Aedion is the blonde that is literally the spitting image of you?” Aelin nodded. “They were making out before I came up here.”

Aelin plopped back down onto the cushioned patio furniture. It wasn’t often someone could surprise her but Rowan sure as hell just did. Lysandra and Aedion didn’t bother her. No, they were quite cute, actually. She always had a mind to set them up for years. It was just the fact that Lysandra had been seeing someone for a few weeks now and said nothing to her about it being Aedion. She would certainly have to have a talk with her whenever she escaped this balcony.

Aelin took a deep breath. “Ok, so our options are waiting here or you can climb down and come back up through the inside and unlock the door.”

“Me? I’m a little drunk, princess. I don’t think that climbing down a two story building is in my best interests right now. Why don’t you do it if you think it’s so easy?”

“Because I just chugged two beers before you came up here and already had a few seltzers and shots in me. So I am also fairly drunk and would most likely end up dead. So no thank you, Buzzard.”

Rowan just let out a huff and sat down next to her on the cushioned bench. For a while, their breathing was the only thing that cut through the night air and muffled music. Rowan leaned forward and put his head in his hands.

“This is not how I thought the first week in the new house was going to go.”

“Tell me about it.” Aelin murmured as Rowan lifted his head up, giving her a conflicted look. Aelin just side-eyed him and rested her head on the back of the bench. “Yes, Rowan. I’ve had a shit week, too. Being stuck out here is just the icing on the cake.”

“You’ve had a shitty week but were you the one who ended up with gum in your hair? Didn’t think so.”

“Oh, get over it. It’s not the worst thing that could’ve happened. The haircut looks good on you, anyway.” Rowan scoffed, looking more annoyed by the minute. But Aelin couldn’t help but notice the shadow that crossed his face. Which is what prompted her to sigh and softly say, “I am sorry for doing that though. I didn’t mean to, I swear. I like pulling pranks on people but never something like that. So I’m sorry.” Rowan didn’t say anything, just looked at her with furrowed eyebrows, so she kept going. “I don’t even remember what the joke the professor made was. Probably something stupidly cheesy. But I was very sleep deprived and left that morning without brushing my teeth and without coffee. So that’s my only excuse.”

Rowan let out a long sigh and after what felt like an unending moment, replied, “It’s okay. I needed a haircut anyway.” When their gazes met, they both had half-smiles on their faces. Rowan let out a small cough and looked away before asking, “So who was that guy you were running from?”

It was Aelin’s turn to let out a sigh. How much information did she want to give to this virtual stranger? Nonetheless, a stranger who hated her up to a few minutes ago. Her tipsy brain decided on the whole truth. “His name was Chaol. We dated for like six months but broke up about a month ago. He was just…controlling. Nothing I did was ever the right thing with him. The little things got to me the most. He was always telling me to put on shoes when I wanted to go barefoot in the grass. Or would order my meal for me. Or telling me that I couldn’t wear a certain outfit because it was too revealing. He would hate this dress I have on tonight even though I don’t think I’ve ever worn a piece that feels more…me. In hindsight, it was actually really horrible and I’m not sure why I tolerated that for that long. I’m not something to be stifled. I need to feel the air in my lungs, ya know? It sounds super cheesy but I just didn’t feel like myself anymore.” Aelin shrugged.

“So when he told me he loved me, I totally freaked out and ran.” She let out a small laugh at that. “It was not my finest moment. But it wasn’t the wrong thing, either. I came back like an hour later and he yelled at me for running off and told me I was being ridiculous. And I told him I wanted to break up and he just called me all sorts of names. Not so nice ones. And he basically said I was unlovable. So yeah. That’s why I ran from him tonight. Because, honestly, I’m not sure if I could have a civil conversation with him without wanting to punch him in the face.”

Aelin finally turned to Rowan and braced herself for the judgment on his face. But there was none.

“I don’t blame you for any of that. Hell, I probably would’ve punched his smarmy face if you had stayed. If he doesn’t appreciate you as you truly are, then he’s incredibly stupid. You’re not unlovable, Aelin. That’s just bullshit. Plus, that dress you have on is…is…” Aelin giggled at that. Giggled. There was something about Rowan trying to compliment her that made her feel like she was back in high school again.

“It’s what, Buzzard?” Aelin smirked.

“I’m not saying anything else to feed your ego since it already takes up all the space on this balcony.” He smirked, though his eyes softened. “You know how beautiful you are, Aelin. You don’t need me to tell you that.” Aelin felt her cheeks heat and her heart rate speed up a little. Gods, what was this man doing to her? A few moments ago they were ready to tear each other apart. Now she just wanted to tear his clothes.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you earlier. And for being an ass yesterday. I haven’t gotten a haircut in so long and it was just…very unexpected. That’s all. I knew you didn’t mean to do it and I just reacted badly. I’m sorry.”

Aelin smiled and gave him a nod.

“Since you shared your sob story with me, maybe I could share one in return that will hopefully make you hate me less for the way I acted.”

“One, I don’t hate you. And two, yes of course share your sob story. We can bond over our shared woes,” Aelin laughed. Rowan returned the smile even though a nervous jitter rose in him.

“Okay. Well, I had this girlfriend in high school. We had been dating since sophomore year so I guess we were technically high school sweethearts. I loved her but when we went away to college, we just… grew apart. Or I guess I did. I called her one night in freshman year and told her that I just didn’t think we could do the long-distance thing. I wasn’t very good at breaking it off. And like I said, I did love her but just not in the way I should’ve. So she insisted she drive to see me and that we talk. She was going to school in our hometown of Doranelle and was going to make the 300 mile drive to see me here in Wendlyn. She was maybe halfway when she got hit by another car and died. That was three years ago.” Aelin’s heart was breaking for this man she barely knew.

“She was in cosmetology school so she was always the one cutting my hair. I felt so guilty for the longest time. I was the one who was a coward and couldn’t just tell her not to make the drive because my answer was going to be the same whether we talked about it or not. I wanted to break up either way. I always think about how maybe if I was just open with her, that maybe she would still be alive.

“Anyway, I haven’t gotten my hair cut since then. I suppose it’s mostly out of guilt. But she also always liked my hair long so I kept it like that to honor her, I guess.” Aelin could see the tension in his face. She also thought maybe she saw a few stray tear tracks down his face but she didn’t comment.

All she could do was whisper, “Rowan.” It was at his name that he finally looked at her. “I’m so sorry. For everything. I’m sorry for causing you to get your hair cut. I’m sorry that this happened. I’m just….sorry.” Aelin wanted to hug him. To take him in her arms and hold him as tightly as she could. But she wasn’t sure if they were there yet or if he even wanted that from her.

“I’ve never told anyone that before. Fenrys and Lorcan know that something happened but I’ve never told them exactly what.” He huffed a small laugh. “And not only do I not blame you, I almost want to thank you. Because I’m not sure I would’ve taken that step by myself. You pushed me to move on in a way.”

“Can I hug you?” As soon as Rowan gave a nod, Aelin threw her arms as tightly as she could around him. She buried her face in his shoulder, breathing in his pine and snow scent deeply. She could feel her dramatic side making its way to the surface again because she could swear that she never felt so at home as she did in this moment.

After that, it was easy to pass the time. They talked about everything and nothing. Aelin told him how her parents were politicians and her dad died in what might have been an accident but probably was an assassination. And why that’s the reason she wanted to get her degree in history and politics. She told him about her favorite color (red) and her favorite food (anything sweet, duh). They laughed and chuckled and when things moved to more serious topics, they listened intently and held each other.

Hours later, Aelin was dozing on Rowan’s shoulder, his head resting on hers and his jacket wrapped halfway over her, when the balcony door opened.

“Well, well, well. What do you know? Looks like everyone owes me money.” Aelin and Rowan glared at Fenrys, who interrupted what actually was a very nice and comfortable sleep. “I bet that you two snuck off to hook up. I blamed the belligerent sexual tension I could feel just oozing from you two. Looks like I was right.”

Aelin was up before she knew it, trying to tackle Fenrys. Before she could, strong arms wrapped around her and held her back.

“We weren’t hooking up, Fenrys. We were trapped out here.” Aelin could hear the irritation in Rowan’s voice at the stupidity of their friend. “You didn’t pick up the phone and no one else could be bothered to help us out. But apparently you could bet on us.”

“Oh, I saw the text hours ago. I just wanted to give you guys some time to work things out. And then I actually forgot. Oops.”

Panic struck Aelin. Did Lysandra know where she was. “What time is it?”

Fenrys checked his phone. “4 AM.”

Aelin muttered a shit at that.

“Don’t worry, your friends know exactly where you are. I told Lysandra I would look out for you so she went home.”

“Alone?”

“What?”

“Did Lysandra go home alone?”

“Oh. No. She went home with someone...” Fenrys looked apprehensive to say any more.

“Fenrys. I know she went home with Aedion. It’s really fine.”

“Alright, well… this has been a great conversation but I must get my beauty sleep.”

“Wow, what a great person to have ‘looking out for me.’” Fenrys gave a shrug as if he knew that she now had someone else to look out for her.

Aelin followed Rowan into the hallway after Fenrys disappeared.

“I suppose this is where I leave you,” Aelin crooned.

“Do you have a ride home?”

“No. I was going to call an Uber. Annnnddd my phone is dead. It’s fine, though. I’ll just walk. I live just a few blocks from here so it’s no big deal.”

“Or you could stay and we could just finish what we started?”

“Rowan…ya know, I actually don’t know what your last name is…Are you trying to get in my pants?”

“What!? No! I swear I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant that you were already half asleep and if you wanted to, you could just stay over. And sleep.” Rowan slapped a hand to his face. “Oh my gods.” Rowan slowly met Aelin’s eyes with a sheepish look on his face. But Aelin just laughed. It was like music to his ears.

“I’ll stay. If you don’t mind. I can take the couch or something but I don’t have any clothes.”

“You can take my bed. And you can borrow some from me.”

“I’ll only take the bed only if you also take the bed. Also your shirts will literally swim on me.”

“Does that matter? I have an extra toothbrush, too. My room’s the third one on the left. Go and get comfortable and I’ll get you a bottle of water.” He started walking away before stopping abruptly and looking her way. “Whitethorn.”

“What?”

“My last name is Whitethorn. Earlier you said you didn’t know my last name. So my name is Rowan Whitethorn.” He held out his hand. “Nice to officially meet you.” Aelin gently took his hand but instead of shaking it like he meant to, she pulled him closer to her, tugging him slightly down to her height. Her lips met his before he could think about anything else. And before he could deepen the kiss, she pulled away and sauntered off down the hallway. She knew exactly what that dress was doing to him. He supposed he did give his hand away earlier when he fumbled for a compliment like a high schooler, anyway. With a shake of his head he made his way to the kitchen.

- - - - -

Aelin was lounging on his bed when he returned, golden dress laying delicately over her curves. Rowan took a deep breath before entering completely. This girl. He quickly made his way to his dresser where he pulled out a pair of sweatpants that were slightly short for him and a t-shirt that had his name on the back from his hockey days. He threw both at her with a little too much force. She started cackling immediately. This. Girl.

As she went to change, Rowan took the time to change into something more comfortable, too. He usually slept shirtless but would Aelin be uncomfortable? Before he could find an answer to that question, she walked out of the bathroom in his clothing. A protective and possessive feeling came over him as he watched her climb into his bed wearing his clothes. Clothes that had his last name on them.

“Well? Are you going to join me?” Deciding that two could play at this game, he chose to forego the shirt, climbing into bed next to Aelin. She looked pleased with herself. Before he could let himself feel any type of self-consciousness, Aelin reached out an arm and pulled herself closer to him, almost hugging him like a tree. This was great. Aelin was a spooner. A smile crossed his face.

Rowan breathed in her delicate scent. He can’t remember the last time he felt so calm. This definitely wasn’t how he pictured his night going. Especially not with gum girl. But he couldn’t say that it was a bad night. No, not at all.

- - - - -

Aelin awoke well-rested. Probably the most well-rested she had been since the semester started. She attributed that to having a very nice, very muscular pillow. One that smelled very, very good. Aelin took a deep breath and inhaled Rowan’s pine and snow scent, relaxing into him once more. She was content to stay like this forever. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt this safe. And loved. She knew Rowan didn’t love her. They had just met for Gods’ sake. But she could envision it. Waking up with him like this every morning, being enveloped in his arms when she needed a hug. She was getting ahead of herself, though. First she needed to work up the courage to ask him on a date. Her liquid courage from last night wore off and she was more doubtful of herself now than she was when she kissed him last night.

Finally, he began to stir, letting out a few groans until his eyes fluttered open. Aelin’s own eyes met his own and the biggest, most uninhibited smile overtook his face. “Morning.”

“Morning, buzzard.” He let out a deep belly laugh at that.

“Where did that even come from?”

“I don’t even know. I just looked at you when you came out onto the balcony last night and it just fit.” Aelin gave him a sheepish smile which he returned.

“Hungry?”

“Absolutely famished.”

“I can go make us something. Eggs and bacon okay?”

Aelin nodded. As he rolled out of bed, she asked, “Okay, what’s the catch?”

“The catch?”

Aelin nodded. “There’s always a catch. You’re extremely handsome. You lent me clothes and had an extra toothbrush. Let me sleep in your bed. Let me pour my heart out. Gave me the biggest and most wonderful smile when you woke up. All of this despite the fact that I spit gum in your hair, and now you want to make me breakfast? So what’s the catch?”

Rowan gave her a grim smile. “There’s no catch, Aelin. I like you. So I want to do this for you. And if you let me, I’d like to take you out to dinner later. Or whatever you want to do.” He gave her a shy smile as he moved closer, close enough to take her hand. “I’m sorry that other guys gave you the impression that you have to give them something for them to do something nice for you. But I like you. And it sounds crazy but I just want to do things for you because I want to see a smile light up your face.” At his words, indeed a dazzling smile spread across her face.

She gripped his hand tighter and brought her forehead to his. “Okay,” she whispered. With a small kiss to her forehead, Rowan made his way downstairs to start breakfast. Aelin took a moment to freshen up and brush her teeth before following him. Once down in the kitchen, Aelin stopped in her tracks, eyes darkening. She didn’t know that a man cooking for her, shirtless, was a thing for her but apparently it was. Though she thought maybe her thing was more of just a Rowan thing.

As they sat there eating breakfast (Rowan was a fantastic chef, Aelin thanked the Gods), Aelin felt contentment wash over her. She never felt so content to just be. Usually, her mind was going a thousand miles a minute but now it was quiet thanks to Rowan’s presence. She could get used to this. As they set up their date for that night, Aelin hoped she would be getting used to this. Who could’ve known that spitting gum into a beautiful man’s hair would be the start of a great love story?

Tagging: (as always, lmk if you want to be added to/removed from my general list

@cretaceous-therapod @morganofthewildfire @tomtenadia @live-the-fangirl-life @charlizeed @violet-mermaid7 @euphoric-melancholyy @kritical24 @rubyriveraqueen @dealfea @maeclin @ayaashryver @anna-swims @leiawritesstories @whoever-you-choose-to-love @holdthefrickup @kyereads @heirofflowers @bananaanna23 @thecrispypotatochip @shanias-world @rowanaelinn @bruiseonthefaceofhumanity @hanging-from-a-cliff

#rowaelin #rowaelin fanfiction #rowaelin fanfic #rowaelin fic #tog #throne of glass #tog fanfiction #throne of glass fanfiction #throne of glass fanfic #tog fic #rowan whitethorn #Aelin galathynius #my fics #elorcan #lysaedion

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sunset-bridge · 10 months

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asks your thoughts on akeshu. go. be free and be a hater - 🍾

THANK YOU GUYS for enabling me. thank you thank you..

ok so like,,,,it's just, i think their genuine rivalry is like. sooooo much more interesting than a normal ass romance,, and like thats rich coming from me cuz im honestly such a grand romantic i love to wax poetic about sweet nothings and the other etc. but like. helloooo

true kibouheads will remember my rival poll from a bit ago. truth is ive been that way my whole life ahahah i always seeked out someone to be "rivals" with at school or otherwise,,, like i cant live without having this cool ass person i can both look up to but that also challenges me to get better and always try my best yknow... but like an important part is that i feel its always someone that. Gets me you know. i hope i dont sound insane but . people think in different ways u know and some people kinda see things a bit similarly to you and so you feel more connected to them. well like that. finding someone that is like that to me is..... quite the amazing feeling. some of my friends also feel like that to me; someone who gets how i think because they see the world similarly but yet a biiit different so we can share our experiences...people you can talk about anything with for hours and hours and never get bored. i feel like this is a form of real love and im not fucking joking . have u had ur rival give u a compliment or tell u happy birthday ...... WAHOOOO over the moon

ANYWAYS when i was playin p5 at first i didnt think much of goro (unbeliavable i know). but then when i started doing his social link i was like. um. erm. HELLOOO its like. points at screen 🫵🫵🫵 rivals. helloo. YES??? like . i feel i dont see too much appreciation for this kind of relationship EXACTLY because a lot of the time it gets reduced to romance or normal friendship when its so muuuuch more than that.

for anyone that hasnt had a rival its not like normal friendship,, theres this element of strange freakazoid obsession going on and also admiration and dare i say a streak of jealousness !!! at the risk of sounding delulu i will say it occupies a different and special niche compared to a friendship or a romantic relationship. its a different thing that u cant replace!!!

so yeah it was like. finally a weirdo relationship for freaks like me. im seen...yyyyyes. sooooo imagine my disappointment when a lot of ake shoo content reduces them to just plain romance HELLOO wheres the freakazoid content. this also goes to the other extreme where they make it seem like they Completely hate eachother when like. uh. yeah they do not obviously... like just read the dialogue helloo

also because a lot of romantic ake shoe woobifies goro soooo much (NOT ALL obvs but. a majority). like helloooo thats not my freak thats some random twink,,,.. i think this is more for gorogirls sorryyyy its true. i had the tragedy of seeing Things on google images while trying to look for a fucking Gorb png T__T

i also understand the desire to see him more happy but we cant fall on the "fandom takes guy whos a cunt and draws them happy 100% of the time and then kinda starts to forget canon" etc... happy goro is awesome cuz its so rare. its what makes it Sting yknow

anyways. theres also the thing that i see the p5 protag really differently from a lot of people apparently but i dont think that affects this issue toooo much. thats another can of worms

thank you :3c

#thamk you #im not tagging this obvs #ask #anon #bottle anon #hiiiiii

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sakasakied · 1 year

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hcs for the one and only old man rei please. thanks

I RUSHEDDDD TO ANSWER THIS BECAUSE I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY. DID YALL KNOW REI IS ACTUALLY MY #1 BABYGIRL TIED WITH NATSUME AND IZUMI SORRY I CANNOT CHOOSE ACKXOCODOWODOOW SORRY ENOUGH RAMBLE. send more abt those 3 i beg. also might get long so this will be under a readmore

rei rei rei. ok now i probably think this for a lot of my favs but i'm really into teasing rei. him being totally into humiliation wohhh @ _ @ but not in the degrading way natsume does. do y'all get it like he doesn't do mean words but he loves to fluster you a lot. if ur the type of person who gets flustered easily like me oh boy ur in big trouble with this man.

it's actually canon ok. he's always teased people like anzu since forever (i've read most of the stories that feature rei i would KNOW. also that scene in dark night halloween made me weak sorry) so how would he not be with you?

ik he's already graduated but sometimes he would visit the light music club room to reminisce about his days in yumenosaki. and he would of course visit at night. and he would also fuck you in that very same room where his fellow club members would hold practices LOL... for him it's apparently the most perfect place to bury his dick inside u, on that very club room floor. it also plays a bit into his exhibitionism kink. remember that some students stay until night at yumenosaki so there's always the chance of someone walking in. maybe even someone like koga could see.

“you’re clearly enjoying this, aren’t you? are you not afraid of the possibility of someone walking in on us? or does it excite you rather?” and he'll watch in delight as you tighten up from those words.

he's like super into sensory stuff. like breathing down ur nape. lightly dragging his teeth, or even better, his fangs across the dip of where ur neck meets ur shoulder wtf do u even call that. feathery touches with his fingers. he would use stuff like blindfolds to make u more sensitive to whatever he'll do to u. depriving u from seeing him, u wait in anticipation for his next move, only depending on the shifting of the bed or the sound of his voice to guess whatever antics he was up to.

i bet he has lots of thoughts about sharing u with ritsu. the other would Hate sharing u and keep u to himself (possessive much) but rei would be soooo all for it. sakuma sandwich woooooo best thing ever. (let's include undead & the five eccentrics but i'm mostly for sakuma sandwich)

AND OFC WE WILL NEVER EXCLUDE ANY KINKS RELATED TO HIS VAMPIRISM. i love vampires so much bro if i met a vampire irl id have sex with them despite being a bit repulsive abt irl sex. but anyways. something about vampirism is just very erotic

vampire rei that lurks the night searching for a victim, scouting each bedroom window for suitable prey. until he lays his eyes upon you. the perfect bloodbag. normally, he'd drain his victims dry and leave them to die, but he'd never do that to you. he'll keep you alive. he'll also keep you healthy to keep your blood fresh and delicious. oh my god

ok outside that little au i think he's very hesitant about all-out biting you unless you really ask for it. he doesn't want you to be scared of him or get too hurt, so you really have to ask. he'll nibble a little at first, being really careful not to actually puncture you with his fangs, but if you convince him to really draw blood then he will. forget him hating blood it's for the intimacy ok. besides he thinks u look nice decorated with two puncture wounds dripping with the scarlet fluid :3

#🩰 answered #🩰 rei sakuma #ensemble stars #rei sakuma #enstars #enstars smut #I LOVE HIM SO MUCB GENUINELY #it's been such a long time since i've come to love this old man #i love u sexy pls stay a sexy vamp foreber #froever #forbe #froeber #whateber #WHATEVER**** OH MY GOD

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fizzingwizard · 5 months

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Back in the US for the first time in five years

(Wowww apparently posting on tumblr got waaaayy stupider during the time I was offline bahahahaha. took forever just to put in a cut and start a new line!)

Left home at 2:30 on Friday Japan time, got to my mom's new place around 9 pm New York time. About 22 hrs traveling in total. Not the longest and I didn't have to stop in like O'hare or any place I hate. Lots of usual flight nonsense occurred on the way, but it was overall smooth. The worst was when I got to New York and it took 30 min to get my bag because it was the very last one to be unloaded -.-; Then I was supposed to meet a driver to take me to my mom's place, but that driver got held up and sent someone else, who changed the plan, but I didn't know till I got out of baggage claim. And the driver couldn't get inside because it was so busy, so I had to just wait outside looking for his license plate amid all the many, many cars in the night. He did find me and then lectured me because I didn't have a good method of communication. I was going to rely on wifi because I couldn't find a US sim card for my old phone, a plan which would have been fine had the driver come into the airport like was the original plan. Because he was outside I couldn't access wifi. So. Anyway I tipped him with an apology... I do know better ways to have a phone when you travel internationally, but the problem is my current phone is just too old. It works just fine in Japan but can't do apps and no one makes anything for it. So I need a new one, but I just didn't want to pay through the nose for it so I didn't rush it...

Whatever. I got to the house in the end.

My mom's condo with her partner is small but really nice. It's weird being somewhere totally new, but much less weird than I expected because they made it so comfortable.

My mom's partner is really chill and doesn't have issues talking about my dad

The town they're living in is like Star's Hollow minus all the TV show over-decorating. It's really nice. Everyone is old though x'D I've seen like two youngish people outside of store employees. I'm no great conversationalist to begin with, and talking to people 30-40 years older than me is even harder. All I can say is "I like your scarf." In a conversation about raffles that falsely claim to be associated with charities, I made what I thought was a reasonable comment comparing that with psychics who promise people they're in touch with their loved one and take their money. Of course, one lady nearby totally believes psychics are real and "has done years of research on it." I'm like ok I'm not saying psychic powers can't exist, I'm saying taking people's money while lying to them is bad... and then uhhh just moved on to complimenting her scarf.

They're nice people but it is funny, watching a large crowd of people have conversations over each other, no one really interested in what each other is saying but just happy to be talking while another person is near and talking too...? My mom wants to talk about a movie she watched, so she's talking about that, at the same time her partner is talking about the food, their friend can't hear either of them because it's so loud so she's talking about the drinks at the bar. There was really no coherence! But everyone is happy and having fun. I don't get it but I guess that's why I suck at small talk.

Also talked to my dad. He said hello and then shared all his medical updates, which apparently includes he's got some very slow-acting form of leukemia! Sooo that was a fun surprise! I got to cry on my first day back!

I am also sick. Started with a sore throat literally the day before I was supposed to leave and bit by bit got other symptoms. Fortunately it didn't fuck me up too much on the plane. Probably just a cold. Keep crossing my fingers I'll be over it soon.

but I'm overall happy. I will feel better when I'm no longer sick and jetlagged, but it's nice to see my mom. I don't like all these crowds, but I like the area and I think during the week I won't be getting shuffled all over the place so much. it's gonna go by fast so I gotta appreciate

#fizz's life

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electricrogue · 5 months

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Got tagged by @tinknevertalks and @sarcasticsciencefictionwriter and fianlly got around to do this, so thank you (and sorry it took me so long)

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

72 apparently :D

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

244.448 - whew that was a pain to add up. But it is also scary from other points of view (but also fun) so worth it.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Sanctuary the most though I did some other stuff as well historically speaking xD.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Keep in mind the kudos are 100% based on how big the fandom is I guess so hmmm not sure it's fair. Here it goes anyway:

Mysterious Ways - Fleabag with Fleabag/Priest which is the only fic I wrote in that fandom funnily enough.

Confessions - La Casa de Papel with The Professor/Raquel

Reunion - same

Five Times Randall Came Up With Vermish Theories And One Time It Got Confirmed - this is The Order with Vera/Hamish and yeah it's basically the kids finding out their sexy boss is fucking (around) with someone they shouldn't but it's The Order and not Sanctuary for some reason :))

Meeting Someone Big - Again Vera/Hamish from the order and funnily enough this is one I would have done a lot better if I were into werewolves but I'm not so it turned fluffy and yeah xD.

See? 5 of them and none Sanctuary it's a good thing I don't write for kudos because I would have been pissed otherwise. I mean I loved these when I wrote them don't get me wrong but... Sanctuary is my baby ok. It's just that it's a very small fandom so yeah.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes I mean come on people do their best to leave them (never got nasty ones not really) so it's the least I can do

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't do angst not on ao3. Should have been Love in Perpetuity I started that one wanting to kill Helen but it's not ended because I couldn't bring myself to do it so yeah does it really count?

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Either The Secret Beneath The Ice or Dear Stranger I guess (I mean Teslen is basically either engaged or with kids at the end so yeah)

8. Do you get hate on fic?

Not really

9. Do you write smut?

At some point I did it enough that it had kinda become my go to thing xD

10. Do you write crossovers?

Did my share of those as well

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes - London Miracles got translated into Russian partially.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Oh I did a lot more than that only not on AO3 xD. Me and some other girls had a porn writing club if you can call it that? And we did some Teslen stuff together. It's on fanfiction.net because we didn't know about ao3 at that point and at least two of us were hormonal teenagers and that's pretty much the only excuse I have for it existing xD. Look it up on your own risk

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Teslen all the way

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

Pffff that's a lot of them. London Miracles is the one I feel the worst about because I liked it but I haven't written in ages for it so not sure I can start over. Plus I am taken mostly writing wise for the next year so yeah. Not optimistic about this.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm better at writing dialogue than anything else (which can also get to be a major pain sometimes)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I hate descriptions with a passion especially if it's clothes (filled under why the hell did I sign up for some stuff Jesus Christ)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Me or other people? xD. I know like 4 languages in various degrees but I could get some sentences written in all of them. But French is too cliche, Romanian who the fuck speaks that, Dutch... well doesn't make sense with any of the fandoms I am in (except one but that's not fic writing material I said like the biggest liar in the world) and English is what I am writing fics in in the first place.

Other people writing this? More power to them :). Though if they mess up Romanian (which is the only one I know well enough to know if they do) I would gently point it out.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Tom and Jerry crossover with Chip and Dale. I was like 5 and I shipped Jerry with one of the squirrels not sure what that says about me xD.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

The Admins Know Better. Ooor Feather-Like Messages. They're the most me fics I ever wrote (as in they have a lot of stuff I like, I mean the first one is subtle but I know and this is what matters).

Tagging... hmm. Not sure who wasn't tagged yet from the people I know so I will go with @xbleeple, @zebsfloppyears, and whoever else wants to do it :)

#tag game

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maaarine · 1 year

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for Easter I got my 9yo niece a French bande dessinée (comic book) that uses a ton of themes and tropes she likes (it’s called Lily Medialuna)

she’s a fan of magic (loves Harry Potter) and mythology (loves Percy Jackson) and is overall a head-in-the-clouds type of kid who loves reading

the characters in it apparently have a daimon-like animal that represents them, as well as some kind of stone, and a magical ability

as soon as she was finished reading it, she asked for a piece of paper and a pencil, and started writing down what her own animal and stone and power would be

she later came up to my sister-in-law and me: she’d found her stone and power, but needed our input on her animal, because she wanted all three to be coherent and true to her personality

she said: “I think I’d be a lion, what do you think?”

my SIL and I looked at each other like... this child ain’t a lion lol, it just doesn’t fit her vibe at all

so first I said: “you know lions are kinda lame and lazy as hell, lionesses do all the work”

and then I asked: “are you picking the lion because that’s your zodiac sign, or do you really believe that this animal is a good representation of you?”

niece: “I think I’m like a lion because I’m very expressive”

SIL and I looked at each other again, deeply puzzled, because “expressive” is neither the first nor the tenth word you’d use to describe her

niece: “when other kids annoy me too much and push me too far, I’m very expressive”

me: “ok so you mean that you’re ‘expressive’ in a ‘reactive’ kind of way, not in a ‘I freely and abundantly express my thoughts & feelings’ kind of way”

you could tell that she was a bit upset that we didn’t immediately see the connection between her soul and that of a lion, which in turn bothered me, because I’d hate for her to feel ~unseen~ by adults

my SIL suggested that a bird might be a better fit for her, to which my niece replied “an eagle!” — girl really digs that majestic alpha vibe, I guess?

then I looked at her piece of paper to check what she’d picked as her magical power

and god help me this fucking child had chosen the power to heal others

so I said: “you pick THAT power and come in here thinking that the lion is a coherent fit for your profile?!” (not in an asshole voice, but with a tone to convey that this is crazy town)

she agreed that it didn’t make sense

I said: “it’d be nice if you could have a tree instead of an animal, because trees help each other and share resources in this very cool way, that could be a good fit for you”

she did not agree that trees are cooler than lions, and I can see her point

there’s no ending to that story because she had to leave before she could settle on an animal

but my takeaway reflection is that, when I saw that she genuinely believed that she was a lion, and that the word “expressive” was somehow a good descriptor of her, I thought:

this is what happens every day in the MBTI universe, people are fucking clueless about what they’re like and what words mean, except that they don’t have the excuse of being 9 years old

#mytxt #tata marine #mbti

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bewoken · 6 months

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tdlr: my white family doesn’t understand race, racism, and it’s nuances and they make it my problem.

so, as a black person that has lived with the white side of my family my whole life, i can say that it is exhausting. i lived my whole life with a ‘color blind’ family who still said racial slurs and made race jokes but it was never about black people so it ok to them.

that’s a big reason as to why i never said anything when people at school would say racist things to me. i thought it was normal because of the things my white family said about asian or latino people or anyone who wasn’t white.

i never got that talk about how basically the whole world is going to hate me because of my skin and my hair so i didn’t know what racism was until someone called me a co*n in middle school. so i went home and looked up what it meant and i saw that it was a slur. a racial slur said to me because i’m black.

i was 12-13 when i first realized people said things to me at school or gave me looks in public, not because of normal bullying or whatever, but because i was black.

and now that i’m older and lost all my friends because i wouldn’t let them say the n-word and have learned more about racism and discrimination and that them uncomfortable.

my white family doesn’t understand. they don’t get that i can’t just pretend racism doesn’t exist. they don’t get why i tell them off for saying something racist or why i stopped being friends with certain people. because for them, it’s just politics. they can forget politics at the door because so much of it isn’t going to affect them. their lives aren’t being debated every other day live poc and queer people’s are.

they don’t talk about certain things infront of me anymore because they know i’ll disagree. it’s all small talk and surface level conversations and that’s how it’s going to be.

there was a time when i was guilted into apologizing to my one grandma for something she did to me. she made me uncomfortable by shoving her hand into my hair while my back was turned and i was sitting in the floor but i had to apologize to her. she got upset that i told her to not touch my hair without asking me first and i did say because im black.

i used to let people do whatever they wanted when i was in school because i didn’t want to be seen as the angry black girl that can’t take a joke. but now i’m proudly that angry black person who can’t take a joke because those weren’t jokes. it was you doing something to make your friends laugh and i was the butt of it. im not letting people touch me without my permission anymore but apparently that was too much for her to handle.

even my 14 year old white cousin tried to her why i didn’t want her touching my hair but grams cried to her about it anyways. and she wouldn’t look me in the eyes for the rest of the day.

then she want crying to my aunt, who i live with and she came down hard on me, guilting me into apologizing.

i apologized but i really just told her that i’m sorry she felt that way but i set a boundary and i hoped she could respect that. she never replied back to that message but she’s great at making people feel bad for her.

there was also the time that i wanted to go see wakanda forever with my black brother, just us so we could get a little bit of some black culture in our majority white community and my aunt flipped. not at me, but to my brother. she told him that it was racist and that i can’t want to be apart of their lives and not want to share my culture with them. but she had no problem with us going to see sm: no way home without anyone else.

we had a talk after that, about why i wanted to see the movie with just my brother but she didn’t get it. she kept trying to tell me that we keep all of the racial differences out of the house and whatever, but off course she has the privilege to say that. she isn’t the one going on social media and seeing people that look like her getting beat and raped and killed just for looking like her.

it’s so hard trying to explain these things to people who will never understand. especially those who don’t want to understand.

#racisim #race #white people #discrimination #politics

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chet-oh · 1 year

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Demoted to just a Pen Pal

I miss her. How could I not miss her? She was in my life everyday.

She was my pen pal and she resented that. Not being my pen pal (at least, not completely, I hope), but that I answered when asked about her that she was my pen pal. I see how what I said was wrong. Or not wrong but inadequate and inaccurate. While in a way, accurate. She actually is my pen pal. We used to write to each other everyday, several times a day, for many many many days.1340 days. I actually counted them. Not counted them, but did the math.

The thing is we understand words differently. Please allow me to blame it on the language barrier and on my ignorance and not on my shortsightedness to read the room and the impossibility of me being capable of leaving my head. I’ll try and elaborate on this.

I have come to realize that a pal is someone you pat on the back while you say “There you go, buddy!” because you don’t remember the name that was just stated two minutes ago.

Of course she is not my pal. Not just my pen pal. I have come to hate that stupid word. But I hadn’t any deeper answer for my “friends”, the ones who were asking. Let me clarify on those quotations; they are (were) my friends, but I have not seen them but only a few times in many years, they are gossipy and annoying, they aren’t curious about me or my life (I guess I am not that curious about theirs, but I can explain that... maybe in another time) and I barely share anything about me with anyone, and even more rarely, something that is so important, means so much to me, and that I hold dearly close to my... wherever I keep my nice feelings. I try not to waste those things on ears that don’t care.

It was important for me that she was there when I met my friends for dinner. The thing is that it wasn’t important because of my relationship with them. It was important because of that thing she said (wrote) once. Ok, I need to interrupt myself to explain that part.

While we were getting to know each other better, as people and pen pals do, our conversation came to a point where we commented on our digital footprint and, particularly, our social media footprint, which isn’t as large as expected from someone of our generation. I asked if she had looked for me. She said no. That she was going to, but realized that she preferred to get to know me through me and whatever bits I decided to share with her. Which was nice and in tone with the kind of relationship we had. We kept the magic of being... god damn fucking pen pals... alive. Away from all the noise and with the peculiarity of the way of thinking that communicating this way does. Or so I thought.

So, I was trying to show her the bits of me that she didn’t know. There isn’t a lot to know. I am a boring bread-without-salt type of person. But I imagined this would be kind of my origin story part of the movie. I wanted her to know the bits. I even send her the link to my blog. The one were I put the memes that I like, has funny pics of dogs and cats, lots of movie quotes, and where I wrote things when things were a bit too much for me to handle. It’s not that it’s a secret place. It’s there somewhere on the internet for anyone to google if they are committed enough to think of the right combination of words. Obviously, this origin story sparks a very constrained flow of followers. I haven’t shared the link with anyone before, really. But, where was I going with this? Oh, yeah. showing her the bits. “Look, this is where I was before I met you.” was what I was trying to do. But I fuckin’ said pen pal.

That unfolded a chain of events. From then on, every time felt like I was saying good bye. As if all my short comings and weirdness and awkwardness finally added up and the balance was not in my favor. It became apparent those things that I do differently and I came up short in the things that make people (regular normal people, people that aren’t me) go “this is important.”

Now it takes her days to write back. And I miss her.

She recently mentioned, in one of those less frequent messages, something that we have talked about before. You know that novel about the guy who fucked a thousand women but was still a virgin and that woman that had to live a whole other life before they could be together while everyone else was dying of cholera? She was wondering which one of us resembled more to which one of them. Well, not the parts that I described about them. The other parts that are all over the novel when you read it. The way they are from different from each other and have personalities and stuff. Look, I also need to read that novel again, but I think I make my point. If you don’t get it, stop reading and go get that book. Well, she asked if I would wait for her the way Florentino waited for Fermina. I don’t know what she meant.

But I will.

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neocityjs · 3 years

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Clingy - LJN

Pairing: boyfriend!jeno x reader

Genre: a lil angst, fluff

Warnings: established relationship, Haechan is a bit annoying in this one I’m sorry (Haechan best boy)

Words: 3k

Summary: hurt after hearing your boyfriend and his friends calling you clingy, you decide to show them how not clingy you can be.

A/N: everything is fictional, including the characters’ traits. English is not my first language, therefore I’m sorry for the errors.

Movie nights with your friends were your favorites.

Well, it’d be more correct for me to say “with your boyfriend’s friends”, since you didn’t know them before meeting Jeno. But that doesn’t matter, because in no time you managed to bond with everyone, especially the clumsy yet adorable kid, Jisung, and the loving caffeine addicted boy, Jaemin.

Movie nights with your friends consisted in you eight – even though today you were only seven since Mark was out with some of his friends – sprawled on one couch – don’t ask me how, but all of you always manage to fit in since no one wants to sit on the carpet – with a blanket covering you and some snacks passing between. Those represented some of those moments you swear you would cherish for all your life.

Tonight seemed to be no different. Jeno had come picking you up at 7 p.m., you spent some time together, walking around, talking and giggling like usual, and you dropped at his house where other five – well, four boys (Jaemin lost to rock paper scissors so he had to go shopping for snacks) – were waiting for the both of you. Donghyuck always got to choose the movie you would watch, not without complaints from every one of you, yet at the end you’d always like what he picks, but Donghyuck doesn’t need to know that.

And there you were, all sprawled on the couch – though not in a very comfortable position –. You had already seen the movie which was playing loudly on the TV, hence you decided to pay more attention to your boyfriend instead. You were all cuddled up with him: he was hugging you, stroking your back from time to time. Your head was on his shoulder while your hand rested on his chest. Sometimes you couldn’t help but leave a furtive and quick kiss on his jaw, praying no one would notice you. He’d smile at you – gosh his eye smile UWU – and then he’d hug you closer.

About one hour after the movie’s beginning, you felt some physical needs pressing, so you quickly excused yourself and got up from the couch.

“Should I pause it?” Renjun asked, the remote already between his hands.

“No, don’t worry. I’ve already seen it anyway”

You made your way to the bathroom only to find out that the toilet paper was missing.

You sighed. Boys.

So you went back to the living room, where everyone was gathered.

You were about to open your mouth to ask where they kept the spare paper but something odd caught your ear. You backed up, hiding behind the wall. You obviously knew that eavesdropping was not by any means honest, especially if it was a conversation between your best friends. But you were almost certain that they were talking about you, your name dropping from one of the boys’ mouth.

“Enjoy being free while you can” Donghyuck joked with Jeno. You furrowed your brows.

What was that supposed to mean? You peeked your head cautiously, not wanting to be seen.

“You’re just jealous you don’t have a girlfriend” Jisung laughed at him, to which the boy responded with a sharp stare.

“Seriously, Jisung? When you haven’t even had your first kiss?”

“Ya ya ya! Shut up and don’t fight you two” Jaemin intervened, throwing a popcorn at them.

A brief moment of silence followed. You still didn’t understand what they were talking about.

“She’s just affectionate, that’s all” Jeno finally spoke, at which you held your breath.

So they were talking about you being clingy with your boyfriend. And this response from Jeno meant that he didn’t mind it, right? Or else he would have agreed with the boy. The thing is, you never thought about it: you supposed that a little kiss every now and then was a way to show your love and affection to him, plus he never complained about it, or never backed away.

“I know, but don’t tell me you don’t find this suffocating sometimes” Donghyuck continued.

Okay, now he was seriously getting on your nerves. What the heck did he care if you were clingy with your boyfriend? This was something between you and Jeno, and he wasn’t allowed to interfere with it, especially in front of everyone in the room. You thought he was making fun of you by now.

At this point you expected something to come out of Jeno’s mouth, anything that could have proven Donghyuck wrong, but he said nothing.

And silence means consent.

How did you know this? Well, Jeno wasn’t one to back out from speaking his opinion, especially with his friends. Especially with Donghyuck, for God’s sake, this guy was constantly bickering – though not with malicious intentions – with everyone.

“We shouldn’t talk behind her back like this” affirmed Jaemin with a severe stare. Jeno looked down: you didn’t know it but he was feeling suddenly guilty, agreeing with Jaemin. Everyone then went silent, the only sounds that could be heard being the dialogues in the movie.

You pressed your back against the wall, processing what you just heard.

Why didn’t he ever tell you? Why did he act like he loved it while, actually, he hated it? Then you thought about every time you held his hand in public, or hugged him, or kissed him, and then your thoughts went to five minutes before, when you were hugging him on the couch. You started feeling sorry.

Maybe after all it’s true, and he didn’t tell me anything because he didn’t want to hurt me.

But well, now it hurt twice as much since you weren’t aware of what your friends and your own boyfriend thought about you. Maybe every one of them, except for Jeno obviously, thanked God they hadn’t a girlfriend like you, who was suffocating and clingy.

And it was at this moment that your guilt turned into anger.

You just wanted to show all your affection and care to your boyfriend who you loved with all your heart, but apparently you were only bothering him. And Donghyuck - oh Donghyuck – you were so angry at him right now. What was the point in making fun of you in front of everyone when you weren’t even there? At the same time, you took a mental note to thank Jisung and Jaemin, the only two people who stood to defend you.

Okay, tonight you were proving everyone how not clingy you could be. Indeed, you were going to interact the least possible with Jeno. He wanted space? Good, you were giving him tons of it.

You eventually went to the toilet using one of your tissues since you were not asking any of them where the hell was the toilet paper, you washed your hands and went back to the couch.

But this time you didn’t hug Jeno. You simply forced a smile and sat next to him with your arms crossed. You tried not to be too obvious, you still didn’t want them to know that you heard everything, but you were sure your face was saying otherwise, and the confirmation arrived when Jeno asked you “Is everything ok?” full of concern.

You just called me clingy and let Donghyuck make fun of me. Yes, everything’s amazing.

“Yes, of course. Why?” you replied, using all of your acting skills in the process which, by the way, were very poor. But apparently they worked, because Jeno smiled at you and shook his head. “Nothing”.

But if you were successful at lying to him right now, then by the end of the movie he understood that something was wrong. You were avoiding all of his attempts of skin ship because “it was too hot”, but then you were grasping at the blanket like there’s no tomorrow. You were also laughing at everything remotely funny that came out of Jaemin’s mouth while you simply ignored all of Jeno’s attempts of making you laugh. Hell, you didn’t even argue with Donghyuck when he murmured something about Jeno being the most unfunny guy he ever met. Oh and you were playing and laughing with Jisung who was sitting next to you.

In short, you were avoiding him.

But he decided to shrug these thoughts away. Maybe he was being paranoid, he thought: you were just enjoying your friends’ company, plus it wasn’t written anywhere that you were allowed to talk and give attentions only to him.

Little did he know, this was just what you were trying to do: shower everyone with attentions except him.

Eventually the movie came to an end, and while everyone was pronouncing their goodnights and heading to sleep, you just remained there, with your phone between your hands, scrolling mindlessly on your Instagram feed.

Usually you and Jeno would have gone to bed together, sharing your thoughts about the movie you just watched, or simply talking about everything and nothing at the same time. But not today. He wanted space? You were giving him space.

Jeno already stood up to make his departure, but soon noticed you weren’t following him like you always did. “Are you coming?” he asked you, stopping on his tracks.

“I’ll just reply to a few messages and then I’ll go to sleep too. Don’t wait for me, you can go”

“Y/N are you sure everything’s okay? You’ve been acting quite weird. Are you alright? Did something happen?”

“Of course not, Jeno. Nothing happened” you replied rather coldly. Then you sighed. “I’m good, don’t worry for me” you added, softly this time. Although you believed he deserved it, you didn’t want to be too rude to him.

He nodded, and without saying anything more, he left.

At this point you started feeling a tiny bit guilty, still you couldn’t simply pretend nothing happened: their words hurt you and even if you really wished to just forget everything, you couldn’t. You just couldn’t, it was stronger than you.

By the way, you had no intention of sleeping with Jeno tonight, so you grabbed the blanket all of you once shared when watching the movie, and struggled a little bit to find a comfortable position. Eventually, after some tears escaped from your eyes, you drifted into a restless sleep.

It took a couple of hours for Jeno to realize you were not in bed with him.

He just fell asleep, a part of him believing that later you would have joined him. But when he woke up, he immediately sensed that something was off. Still sleepy, he touched the other side of the bed only to find it empty, and immediately stood up. It was 3 A.M, why weren’t you sleeping? What the heck were you doing? Did someone kidnap you? At this point he was surprised of how paranoid he could be.

His thoughts came to an end when he saw you, on the couch, with a blanket shielding you from the cold, all curled up. He didn’t see the dried tears that stained your face, though.

Sitting slowly beside you, not wanting to scare you, he gently shook you, not sure himself if it was the right thing to do. He was just so confused, he genuinely didn’t have any idea of what was happening. But he knew one thing for sure: you had been acting cold with him and he wouldn’t had moved until you confessed what was going on. Was it something he said or did? Was today your anniversary or something and he forgot it? Poor boy absolutely couldn’t find peace unless he knew what he did.

Soon you opened your eyes, still heavy from the – lack of – sleep.

“Hey” he murmured softly.

You considered pretending to sleep but nah, as I said earlier, you weren’t a good actress.

“Hey” you replied, stretching your limbs a little bit.

“I got worried since you weren’t sleeping next to me” he chuckled awkwardly. Sure thing, he didn’t know how to handle this situation since this was the first time you were acting like this.

“I… umm… I just fell asleep here” you replied looking at your hands, which you were scratching due to the nervousness.

Another lie.

Then silence.

“Y/N look at me” his voice suddenly changed, turning colder.

You swallowed, a knot forming again in your throat, as you forced back the tears that were trying to escape. You didn’t want to give in so soon.

But how could you, when he was getting angry at you? You should have been angry, not the opposite. And you know what? He was right, you were taking it too far. He didn’t deserve this. Look at how nice he tried to be all night, you managed to anger a calm and patient man like him. How stupid could you be at this point?

With a quivering lip you turned your head, facing him. He was watching you intently, with a serious frown on his face. Your grip on the blanket got tighter, almost ripping it with your nails.

You stayed silent. Then he spoke.

“Why are you being like this?”

You swallowed. What should you say? Were you even allowed to say anything at this point?

You tried to open your mouth to say something, but as soon as you tried your eyes were filled with tears, rapidly falling on your skin. You just couldn’t take it anymore, so you just faced away and buried your face in the pillow, trying to muffle your sobs. You didn’t want to look so pathetic in his eyes, although by now you thought you were being beyond pathetic.

If earlier there was any anger in Jeno, now every hint of it dissipated at the sight of you crying, curled up on the couch. He suddenly felt guilt taking over him. But the amount of confusion and frustration was bigger, so, as much as it pained him to see you cry because of him, this didn’t prevent him from trying to find out what had gotten into you. He was honestly so tired, he just wanted to sleep with you on his side.

He gently, almost scared, touched your trembling frame, and when he noticed there was no sign of rebellion from you, he lied down and hugged you tightly from behind.

And you kept on crying silently, a loud sob escaping occasionally, as he murmured sweet nothings into your ears, shushing you gently and telling you that everything’s fine, I’m here with you. Just let it out.

When you finally finished crying, he placed a soft kiss on your neck, then another on your wet cheek.

“Wanna talk about it?”

There was no point in lying by now. So you faced him, face full of concern and arms still tightly secured around you. And you just let out everything, from how you overheard their conversation – including how sorry you were for doing it and promising it would never happen again -, to how you were hurt by Donghyuck’s words but mostly by Jeno’s lack of words.

On the other hand, poor Jeno didn’t have any idea this could have affected you so much, and because of this he didn’t even think this could have been the cause of your sudden behavior. He just listened everything silently, surprised, just like a kid to whom the newest things are explained.

“I just got so angry at you for not defending me, and for letting Hyuck make fun of me. So I wanted to distance myself from you as much as possible to have my revenge” you openly confessed, hiding your face in his chest.

“I’m really sorry I took this so far. I should have talked instead” you add.

“Well, that’s true” Jeno replied, “but I can’t say I’m in the right either. First thing, we shouldn’t have talked about you like that, plus I’m really sorry I didn’t say anything to Hyuck, I understand this hurt you a lot”

“But do you really think I’m that clingy? Because if so, all you have to do is say the word and I’ll try to respect you space more” you asked, looking up at him with watery eyes.

And if your ears were sharp enough, you could have heard the sound of Jeno’s heart shattering.

Now he was the one who was on the verge of tears.

“Y/N please don’t ever say such a thing. You don’t have to change anything about yourself. I love you because you are you, including your touchy and loving nature. Besides, don’t look at me this way or I’m seriously gonna cry” he added whining, causing a smile – a real one – to appear on your face.

“Now it’s a lot better” he affirmed, tracing your curled up lips with his thumb.

“Can I kiss you or you’re still mad at me?” he asked.

“I don’t know, I was thinking about making you suffer a little more” you joked.

“Oh my God, you’re unbelievable”

“I think so too”

He raised an eyebrow. “Maybe I should kiss that annoying attitude of yours away”

“I don’t know, should you?”

“I’ll take that as a yes”

And with that he kissed you, the fight of moments ago long forgotten. A slow and gentle kiss, a mixture of emotions being shown: remorse, love, affection. It was a way for the both of you to say “it’s all in the past now”.

After you parted, one thought snapped in his mind.

“Wait, how will you manage the matter with Donghyuck? I can talk to him if you want” he pointed out, concerned. He perfectly understood if you were angry at the boy in question, but he also wished all of you to be as bonded as a big family, his family.

“There’s no need, I’ll just confront him by myself, beat him up until he asks for forgiveness and then forgive and hug him”

Jeno looked at you, almost scared. “What…?”

“Just kidding” you said, laughing at his funny face. Still hugging, you made yourselves comfortable enough to sleep.

“Or maybe not”

1K notes · View notes

seasonsofeverlark · 2 years

Text

The Dancer

Author: @alwayseverlark

Prompt: Mafia leader Peeta knows Valentines day is ridiculous, meant for people who can waste money on useless things, like girlfriends. But then he gets addicted to Katniss Everdeen, a 20 year old widely-demanded stripper (who picks pockets of her wealthy clients too) his whole world is changed. He doesnt just enjoy her seduction but he really wishes she’d actually look at him as if he was the only one. Catching her stealing from him, he gets a chance and offers to his silence in exchange of marriage within a month. (wedding date: 14th Feb). Rating M or E, HEA [submitted by @sparklingdust4612]

Rating: M

Author’s Note: @sparklingdust4612 I have changed the prompt a bit, so I hope you like the story ;-) __________________

“Why don’t you come with me and have dinner with us? It’s been ages since Annie and Alex saw you,” Finnick asks nonchalantly, but I know there’s a hidden meaning in his apparently innocent words.

“I need to go to the club; it’s payment day, and Beetee is sick. Please apologize to Annie and the boy,” I answer without raising my eyes from the book in front of me. I know a fight is on the horizon. It’s not the first time we’ve had this conversation, and it won’t be the last if I know my friend.

“Peeta,” he says in a slightly commanding tone, challenging me to look at him, which I reluctantly do. “He’s your godson.”

“Do you think I’ve forgotten?” I question him harshly, but he doesn’t answer, just shrugs his shoulders. “I could never. Annie, Alex, and you are the only family I have…but…”

“But?” he invites me to continue.

“Here,” I say, standing in front of the little wardrobe where I have hidden a present for Alex, a stuffed hippo, because my sweet little godson loves all type of animals. I am sure he will soon be into the dinosaur stage.. but not yet.

Finnick takes it and smiles sadly. “You know he’d rather see you.”

“He’s not even three, Finnick. He won’t remember, anyway, and he’d favor the hippo over me anyway,” I try to lighten the mood with my lame joke.

He takes the toy and replies with a polite ‘thank you’ before continuing straightforwardly to the point.

“I’m worried about you, man. This work is changing you.”

“No, Finnick,” I say, becoming very upset with the direction of this conversation. “The reformatory changed me. I had to toughen up to survive.”

“I was there with you also, Peeta. You don’t have to tell me. The difference is I looked for a way to get over it; I found a family and a decent job. This, Peeta” he says, gesturing to my office, “this won’t fill the void in your heart. You need to embrace hope and love and…”

I laugh at his words and retort with a venom that runs through my blood. “Hope, you say? I lost hope when my own mother reported me for ‘stealing’ from the bakery knowing it wasn’t me, but her boyfriend accused me, and that was all they needed to get rid of me. Do you want to talk about love now? My parents hated each other, and when my dad died, she started to hate me even more because ‘I was so much like my father.’ What you and Annie have…that’s a rare unicorn. So, no, I don’t believe in falling in love or sharing Valentine’s Day with a girlfriend. I’m fine with my love life.”

“One night stands don’t compute as a ‘love life,’” Finnick says with a serious tone, using air quotes on the last part.

“Not for you. Or at least not for you ‘anymore’,” I mimic him, air quoting again. What, does he think he wasn’t so different some years ago? “Besides, I’m totally honest with the girls I sleep with. They know the rules even before we kiss.”

“Honesty doesn’t fit with a fake wedding ring.” He touches the platinum band I wear on my hand.

“It makes things easier. I tell them from the beginning it will only be one night. They assume the rest…”

Finnick places his hand on my shoulder and looks at me, defeated. “I’d be ok with that, my friend, if I thought for a moment that your life, or your love life, for that matter, made you happy, but you are still that same kind boy…somewhere in here. I just hope you can find him soon. I’ll see you, man. Don’t be a stranger.”

When I arrive at the club and finish my business with Haymitch, I still have an anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach that I try to mitigate by tossing back some shots. Damn Finnick, I think to myself. I don’t need anyone to shake my conscience…or lack thereof.

“Stop there, boy! What’s wrong with you today? It’s not like you to drink so much so fast!”

“Leave me alone, Haymitch. You’re the last person I’d expect to lecture me about drinking.”

“You ain’t me,” he says, winking, and I can’t help but smile a little. Haymitch is an old ally, a kind of mentor that helped me navigate this dark world in my initial days. “You are young, Peeta, and handsome; you should go and pick up a girl.”

“I am not in the mood,” I snap.

“That would be a first,” he mocks.

“I’m not, Haymitch. I don’t have the energy to go flirt and charm someone for one night. It’s not worthwhile,” I reply, taking another shot.

“I have a new girl, though. She only dances. No touch allowed, but still very popular among the customers. That girl has some fire.”

That piques my interest…not so much because of the girl‒as I’ve told Haymitch, I’m not in the mood‒but a dance will buy me a private room, with more drinks and a nice view. But most importantly, it will provide me a way to run away from Haymitch and his annoying questions.

“Ok, bring her in,” I say, standing up. “Which room?”

“Twelve,” he answers before disappearing.

I collapse on the soft sofa full of plump cushions. The whole room is decorated in greenish colors, and there are a lot of plants. The dim light creates the impression of being in a dense forest. And there’s sexy music playing in the room.

It’s relaxing, at least. I’m serving myself another drink from the small auxiliary table on my right when the door opens, and my whole world turns upside down.

I’m interested the moment I lay eyes on her.

She’s not particularly tall, pretty, or voluptuous. She’s very different from the other girls working here, or in any other type of club.

She’s petite, but her legs are long. All her movements are elegant and fluid. Her hair is chocolate brown, very long, and in a braid hanging over her shoulder. But what outshines any other feature of hers are her eyes, her stormy, big grey eyes. They’re magnetic. She’s wearing a short, fringe, silver dress covered in sequins that is cropped and shows the outline of her waist and back. She’s the most exquisite creature I’ve ever seen.

“What’s your name? Haymitch didn’t tell me.”

“Kat,” she purrs, walking toward me. She stops too far away for my liking and starts swaying to the sound of the music, very slowly but with intention as she undoes the braid. Her hair is thick and silky, and my hands crave to touch it, to run my fingers through her locks.

She moves to the pole bar and starts executing a choreography. I’ve never seen something as graceful as her; all her movements are precise, yet elegant and sensual, and whenever she looks my way, her impossibly grey eyes lock on mine. It’s not just that I find her insanely attractive; it’s that I feel a soul bond with her as if she could dive deep into my mind and heart and read me like an open book. It’s scary but hypnotic.

When her time ends, I find it hard to breathe. I’m afraid whatever connection we’ve shared in the span of the last hour will vanish.

We speak at the same time.

“Kat, would you…?”

“Sir, do you want me to dance a bit more?”

I nod, and she lowers her body to the ground, crawling in my direction and wiggling her hips to the new beat. It’s so intimate and erotic that I need to adjust myself; however, I remind myself this is a “no-touch” show. I’m quite familiar with the rules, and though I’m not the perfect gentleman, neither am I an asshole. I like to respect their boundaries, particularly because most of these girls have had a difficult life and dealt with nasty customers.

As for me, I’ve crossed a lot of lines in my life, too many, but I’d never force myself on a woman.

A no-touch performance means you don’t touch them and they don’t touch you, so when Kat grabs my ankle and slides her hand up to my knee to stand up, I bite my lip to stifle a moan. For God’s sake, I’m a grownup man, not a teenager anymore, and she’s touching me over my clothes. Even so, the effect she’s having on me is well reflected in the tent visible in my jeans.

She slowly bends over me to close the curtains of the window behind me facing the club. She smells like lemon blossoms, clean and fresh. I inhale her scent deeply.

“You didn’t tell me your name…Sir,” she whispers in my ear, her nose nuzzling my ear and hair.

This is the second time she’s touched me; she’s definitely toying with me, not that I’m going to complain, although my self-control is in danger of snapping. “We both know you didn’t tell me your real name either…Kat.”

“My name is Katniss,” she says, and then she sucks the spot behind my jaw and neck. This time I can’t avoid the moan that escapes my throat. “Will you tell me your name now, sir?”

I grab her chin and force her to look at me. I want to see her eyes when I tell her my name; I don’t want to forget a moment of my time with her.

“Peeta.”

“Peeta,” Katniss repeats, breathing in my name. “Let me make you feel good.”

She runs her hands through my hair and straddles me, the deep neckline of her dress tied behind. My hands tingle with the desire of undoing it, with the need to drop my mouth to her cleavage, with the want of licking every single inch of her skin. Usually I like to set the pace, take control, but she’s the one in charge tonight. Her hands travel down my hair to my ears, then to my shoulders, and I take off my jacket, dropping it over the side of the couch. She lowers her body, her core pressing into my groin, and all coherent thought leaves my mind.

With one finger, she traces the outline of the buttons of my shirt, and I shiver when she touches the skin at my waist and starts, one by one, unbuttoning my shirt while our bodies rub up against each other. I thought dry humping was something only my teenage self could enjoy, but I’m about to come when her tongue licks my chest. Get a grip, Mellark, I think to myself.

I grab Katniss’s ass to bring her closer to me and thrust up: one, two, three, four times… She moans loudly every time, closing her eyes and arching her back. For the first time, I see her control falter.

When she unzips my jeans and touches my dick, stroking up and down, I can’t hold out anymore. I pin her with an old wrestling move, and she gasps in surprise.

“I want to make you feel good also, Katniss. Will you allow it?”

“I’ll allow it.”

I bring my lips to her pulse point and suck as she did before, and the noise I get from her is addictive. It’s something I want to keep eliciting from her lips. Slowly, to give her the chance to still say no, I bring my hand down to the hem of her panties and slide my fingers in to touch her bundle of nerves.

“Damn, you are so wet.”

“Yes,” she pants, burying her face in my chest and resuming stroking my manhood.

“Keep doing that, sweetheart. It’s perfect. Don’t stop. I’m so close, Katniss.” I bring my other hand up to caress her hair.

“I won’t,” she promises.

“I want you to come with me, babe. What do you want? Do you want my finger inside you?”

“Yes,” she answers and gasps when I introduce one finger. “I need more, Peeta, please.”

I introduce a second finger, and I can feel her warmth surrounding me. I’m going to lose my mind, but I want to make this moment perfect for her also. I don’t think I’ve been ever so eager for my partner to enjoy.

Her breathing quickens as I increase the pace, and when I clench my fingers, she comes and bites my shoulder to subdue her moans.

I wish I could see her gorgeous face, but the mixture of pleasure and pain pushes me over the edge as well, and I spill all around her dress and the couch. I’m going to need to pay Haymitch to restore this room, not that I care too much right now…or ever. After all, this is my club.

“Sorry for the mess,” I laugh, kissing her temple.

“It was worth it, ” she answers and looks at me with a shy smile I haven’t seen before. We stay here for a while, just looking at each other and caressing one another’s skin until she breaks the silence with the words I’ve dreaded since I laid eyes on her. “I have to go.”

I decide to try my luck a little further. “No, please, only five more minutes.”

“Ok,” she replies. “But I need to ask you something. Please don’t say anything about this, or I could be in big trouble and get fired. This was a no-touch performance and…well, it’s clear I’ve broken the rules with you.”

I smile at her naïve assumption because after all, the person who could fire her for this is the very person that wants her to stay in his arms forever.

“No worries. You are safe with me,” I assure her.

“Ok,” she says, turning around, resting her head on my arm and pressing her bare back against my chest.

After that, I fall asleep almost instantly, tired and happy in the afterglow of sex.

When I wake up, I’m alone; although it’s not surprising, I feel a pang of disappointment in my gut.

I dress and drive home, passing out onto my bed, but not before recalling the feel of her hands on me. It’s not until the next morning that I realize two things: The first is that we didn’t kiss on the mouth, not even once. The second is, my wallet has disappeared.

*Part II In Progress

#everlark #everlark fanfiction #winter 2022 #winter #valentine's day #alwayseverlark #submission #prompt

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sandbees · 3 years

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Okay I was thinking about how the other charathers that Arent the great Seven would react to the NRC students in the house of mouse AU. Like i can Imagine Azul asking Ariel if She wants ti make a deal with him and Ariel Is like "lol no", or the First year see Cruella de vil at One of the tables and they are like "She look so much like Crewel that She's giving us PTSD" or kalim and Aladdin becoming buddies :D.

Well, let me put in some headcannons then:

Word goes around that some of the Great Disney villains come to visit Yuu and everyone gets jealous.

So now whenever Yuu goes to work they always get asked to have them visit their world.

So, Yuu just says, “Meh ok, you guys can visit me whenever just ask one of the Great Seven or go through the mirror in my dressing room-“

And suddenly Yuu gets someone they met from the House of Mouse ever other day. It’s literal chaos and Yuu doesn’t know if they should feel exasperated or flattered.

Anyways, here’s some interactions between the dorms and some Disney Characters:

Heartslybul: Obviously when Alice comes to visit, she comments on how Heartslybul reminds her of the Queen of Hearts’ garden. When Yuu mentions that they paint the roses red, Alice sarcastically asks, “Does the dorm leader behead people who don’t paint the roses?” “...Well, he’s more lenient now but...” “...You’re serious?”

Ace and Alice get along swimmingly, basically quick quips and a lot of teasing. Yuu regrets introducing them to each other because they know the two are going to get into some sort of trouble. Deuce also gets along with Alice, though he can get lost in Alice’s rambles in imagination.

I think Alice would get along with Trey and Cater. I mean, they both give big brother vibes (Trey more than Cater). Trey would give Alice some tarts and Alice is like, “....He’s cool.”

Cater is going to take a bunch of pictures, and Alice is very curious about the device he’s holding (I don’t think phones or the internet existed during Alice’s time so...). Cater ends up teaching Alice about the internet and phones.

Riddle...ohhh noo. Once Alice broke one of the 810 rules and Riddle lightly scolded her for it. Alice thinks most of the rules are ridiculous and while Riddle has toned down on being strict, he’ll quickly get annoyed with Alice questioning the rules. There’s rules for a reason! The dorm was founded on these rules!!

Savannaclaw: It’s Simba, obviously. He’s curious to see the dorm after his...nefarious uncle. It’s much more nicer than he expected, though he’s a little off put by the dorm’s...rowdiness.

But he’s impressed with the Magishift practices they have when Yuu showed them.

He likes Jack, right off the bat. Jack has this sense of justice that he can relate to. I think they would get along pretty well. Oh, and probably how strong and buff Jack is.

Simba is wary of Ruggie, due to him being a hyena beastmen. He has...bad memories of hyenas. His wariness is correct, since Ruggie has tried to swindle Simba and Yuu to do some of his work. Does the relationship get better? Only if Yuu makes them hang out with each other haha.

Leona reminds Simba of Scar...to a certain degree. Lazy, cunning, and has this look where it seems like he could be planning something nefarious...

Ok, maybe not that bad, but Simba is weary of Leona. He kind of expected a character similar to Scar since this is the dorm based on him but...still. It’s really odd. It’s kind of rocky, but if Cheka comes over to visit, well...it could get better.

I mean, Leona does find Cheka annoying and calls him a brat but...Simba can tell there’s no malicious desire towards Cheka, which raises Leona’s “evil people don’t interact” list. That doesn’t mean Leona’s in the clear, but he’s ok.

Octavinelle: Surprise, surprise, it’s Ariel! She comes over, human legs and all. (Don’t worry! She got them from the nicer sorcerers). She wanted to visit Yuu and see how great NRC was! They had fun, and then they went to Mostro Lounge.

Ariel is terrified of the Tweels. They give her this...off putting feeling and they’re very intimidating. She does not trust them at all. She does like how they get up close and how they speak as if she’s some poor soul waiting to be taken advantage over.

That’s also why she does not trust Azul at all. He reminds Ariel of Ursula - especially when he tries making a contract with her. Uh-uh, no way. Never again.

This leads to Ariel dubbing NRC a dangerous place for Yuu to stay at. Why doesn’t Yuu come live with her and her family back at her world? Surely it’s much more safer than here! Why, Melody already sees Yuu as a big sibling so why not just stay at the castle permanently?

Ursula fumes at the thought of her enemy trying to take Yuu away and become their parent. That’s her role, dammit!

Scarabia: Kalim invites Aladdin, actually. It’s the most funniest scenario. Yuu mentioned to Kalim about the street rat that wooed the princess and Kalim says, “:00 WE SHOULD INVITE HIM!!” Jamil sighs and facepalms.

It’s actually going great! Aladdin is kind of shocked at the big party that Kalim threw, but it was a great welcome. He’s shook that Kalim apparently trusted Aladdin enough to show him the treasury room. “It’s open for all of the dorm to use! I don’t need much of it!”

Wasn’t NRC rumored to be a villain’s school??? What is this ball of sunshine doing here???

Actually, the Scarabia duo are good in his eyes. Sure, a little rough around the edges with Kalim being a bit too naive and Jamil being more of a watching snake, but they’re better than what he expected. Aladdin gets along with them pretty well!

And then they go on a carpet ride when Kalim introduces Aladdin to his magic flying carpet.

Yuu and Jamil scream at the two of them to get down as they fly across the night sky.

Pomfiore: oh no. Oh no no no. Snow White visiting Pomfiore is like...Neige visiting.

Vil is cold to Snow White, and she knows why. She’s seen the images that Yuu had of this “Neige Leblanc”. He certainly reminds her of her younger days. Which is why she completely understands why Vil is so standoffish of her.

What she doesn’t expect is Rook singing her praises and also kind of...watching her. It’s low key creepy but Yuu says it’s normal and since he doesn’t mean any harm Snow White lets it slide. They do have a good conversation though. Snow White learns to understand Rook’s...eccentric hobbies.

Epel and Snow White go together like apples and oranges. They go pretty well together, but they have contrasting differences. They could be passed of as siblings with their cute looks, as much as Epel hates to admit it. Though I’d like to think they have this “Soft big sister with a gremlin of a little brother” dynamic. Or “Big sister that is harmless but has a badass little bother” dynamic. Just...a cool sibling dynamic, basically.

Ignihyde: Hercules comes by when he hears that a dorm was based off of Hades. He had to see what it was like. He expected the doom and gloom, but he didn’t expect all the technology.

He and Ortho go along swimmingly. I mean, he’s pretty chill around the more upbeat and cheery dorm member, at least. (Seriously, the others were such buzzkills). He also gets a good impression on Idia when Ortho affectionately talks about his big brother! Wow, so the kids here do have a heart! Unlike Hades-

Ok, so as much as Ortho talks so highly of Idia, Hercules does not see how Ortho does. I mean, Idia is a complete shut in and gloomy recluse! Why do you stick around him?! It isn’t until he speaks his mind about that comment does Ortho turn into a crazy murder machine. (“How DARE you speak of that about my brother!!”) Yuu has to save Hercules and the entire dorm before Ortho blows up the school.

So now Hercules sees how inseparable the two are and how much they care for each other, which yeah, that’s pretty cool. (Is also low key jealous, how come his half brothers weren’t like that?)

Diasomnia: Aurora visits with Maleficent. Both do not share ill will after their stories are completed. They actually do make amends. So Maleficent invited Aurora to see her grandson, and Aurora politely accepts.

They have tea with Malleus, and it is a very pleasant conversation. Aurora gets along well with Malleus, even suggesting maybe she should invite him and Maleficent to her kingdom one day. (Maybe when she gives birth to a beautiful baby. Maleficent liked that)

Lilia is also a fun one to be around! Aurora was so surprised by his scare that she had laughed. Ah, what a funny fae! Why, she hadn’t laughed this hard since...well, never. She likes Lilia and will come by if she needs a good laugh.

Poor Sebek though....he acts all uptight around Aurora because she’s a Queen and also aquatinted with Maleficent...he must be respectful to her at all costs! It takes a long time for Sebek to at least act a little casual around her. Maleficent says it’ll take some time, though Aurora isn’t sure if that time will come on her lifetime...but for the meantime, she is still happy to be around Sebek’s presence and have pleasant conversations with him.

Aurora and Silver...ok, let me say this: they got along during a sleepover. The Diasomnia gang + Maleficent and Aurora had a sleepover in the dorms to “better know each other”. I also think Aurora would feel sympathy for Silver if the conversation of him tending to fall asleep came up. Heavens knows she still has her sleepy spells even after her curse was broken.

Also- wofhenod I just imagine Aurora and Silver walking in the forest together and a bunch of animals surround them. (Yuu finds them and cries when they actually attracted a bunch of adorable puppies (or whatever animal you find cute). Cute, adorable animals that are so gentle with them that they start to cry due to stress from being at NRC (Silver and Aurora look at Yuu with concern and gently start comforting them)

Winfendien Suddenly I want a twin dynamic with Silver and Aurora. Even a sibling dynamic would be cool. Just two sleepy siblings that won’t hesitate to kick your ass.

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland imagine #twisted wonderland headcannons #twisted wonderland yuu #house of mouse au #Disney characters #ask #aladin #alice in wonderland #lion king #little mermaid #snow white #hercules disney #sleeping beauty

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witchlyboo · 3 years

Text

Definitely, maybe.

Part five: The one who belongs to someone else.

Introduction. Part one. Part two. Part three. Part four.

Paring: Latina!reader x Logan Lerman x Tom Holland x Ben Hardy x Timothee Chalamet x Pedro Pascal x Michael B. Jordan

Warnings: Swearing, angst, misspellings, some Spanish, me learning how to write properly, and NY stuff that I've learned from movies that we all agree to pretend are real.

Word count: 6.4 k

a/n: You been asking for smut, I know, I know, I just wanted to introduce you to all the boys first, and we're getting there, just one more ahead. Also, I'm working on a masterlist because we are getting too many parts already.

All body types and skin tones friendly. You can also enjoy it as a no Hispanic reader. Constructive feedback and misspellings correction is always welcome.

Red and blue lights flash the driving mirror.

—No, no, no, por favor que no sea a mi—You beg to the sky looking at the patrol that is asking you to park, or someone else, there's a lot of cars in this part of the city, there's a big chance is the panic who's controlling your senses.—Dios, mi abuela fue a la iglesia cada domingo de su vida y nunca te pidió nada, please let me have some of her divina recompensa.—But that's not how it works, you end up parking with just a few seconds to think what to say. There's a perfect explication of why you are driving a car that is not yours in the middle of the night and smelling like a minibar.

Then this ridiculous thought comes to your mind, you look expensive, you've never seen the daughter of a senator but you must be close to it, it would make you less of a feminist if you just use your attributes? Ugh, you feel sick just to think about it but don't have enough money to pay a fine, and the constant paranoia of being chased all the time as an immigrant will only get stronger.

You pull down your dress a little so your neckline can do its job but you regret it immediately, and you're pretty sure you look more like an expensive prostitute who stole the car of his lover than some influential men's daughter.

—License and registration.—You hear him say when he approaches your window. You don't like this but you have to play the dumb tourist, the pretty foreign girl that is too stupid to be dangerous, with the look you have tonight it shouldn't be hard. But damn you hate cops, any uniformed man that works for the government is your eternal enemy, and you don't know how long you could keep the nice dumb Latina game before spit on his face.

—There's something wrong, officer? ...You?!—Your sexy and fake high voice is ruined when you see the face of the man who stopped you. This night couldn't get worse.

—Wait, what happened with the party?—Evan interrupts you while you finish some notes for work, little remainders for later when you don't have an eleven years old kid running around you, he's not usually this energic and you have to blame yourself for that, you're describing a life of excess and eccentric fun, something you let behind so many years ago that your own son doesn't know even a bit of it.

—Ugh, a nightmare doesn't worth telling.—You remember vaguely most of it but what keeps fresh in your mind is bad enough to don't want to bring it back.

—But if Timothée is my dad I have to know the important things, including the bad stuff.—Sounds perfectly reasonable and that's what makes you groan at him. Sometimes you feel blessed that your kid is better than you in any possible way, and sometimes you want to kill his brain with video games and reality shows like the rest of the parents.

—Ok, cool, but I'll keep all the +18 content for myself, so this part of the story might be blurry for you.—It kinda is for you anyway.

You should’ve known this night was cursed, you had a feeling because a) your earring fell off at the same time Timothée texted you to give you the party address and say he can't pick you up. And b) he won’t pick you up. Your mother would say that’s reason enough to not go, a real gentleman wouldn’t make you go to an unknown place in the middle of the night on your own in a city like this. But you decide to ignore it because you are a modern woman and because it’s worth it. It better be.

The outfit must be something special. You always take your time to choose what to wear, even if just another regular day, and since this isn't the case you thought about it for hours, that made your mind busy enough to not thinking about Tom and the whole love confession. He texted you saying he'll come for you to go to class together on Monday, which is completely impractical because he's way closer than you but is progress and you're going to take it.

You wanted to ask for Sheep's opinion but you thought she might not care, has been a few days since she started acting strange like she's bothered just to see you breathe. You want to blame his boyfriend to take all her time and attention from you but is probably just her new job, she got a small role in a Netflix show, and even when you're so happy for her, that's the event that has changed her into someone completely different. But you give her time, stress can do bad things to people.

The winner is the exact copy you made of the black and white striped dress Cameron Diaz wore in "The Mask" beautiful, classy, and sexy enough without being too scandalous, not that you have any problem with that, but this isn't the occasion, you don't want to feel like you're being too much or too little, just enough, it's supposed to be easy, right? you were born for this. Just adding some big shiny earrings you got on a thrift shop that look like real diamonds and you're ready, not that you own any to compare. Red lipstick, dark eyes, and a messy bun to get that disinterested pitch every look needs.

Getting there wasn't a problem, you were in the rich part of the city, everyone know who, where and what just to brag about it. The excitement is growing with every second, you check your makeup like thirty times in the elevator and send texts to your mom just to let her know where you are, and because you have to share that moment with someone and you are limited of friends these days.

Timothée opens the door with red eyes, drunk, high, or somewhere in between, you know then you were right about the bad feeling. He jumps on you to kiss you and no matter how much you try to explain the delicacy of your lipstick, he does it anyway, leaving a taste of alcohol and shrimps in your mouth. Taking you by the waist he walks you to a group of people you don't know while you're trying harder to fix the red color of your mouth without a mirror.

—Here is the companion I bought, look at her, that's how five grand per hour look like.—They laughed but you were too disoriented to process all the things he said, it was supposed to be a joke? if it is, why isn't he correcting? Instead, his hand goes straight to your ass and presses it to get you closer to him.

—I'm actually an intern in the costume designer department of the new version of "Sense and Sensibility".—You wanted to mention your recent promotion to hairstylist and makeup artist but that might be too pretentious. Anyway, they don't seem to care what you are or not, in fact, they don't even see you, all eyes are on Timothée

—Oh, well, is easy to forget when you're paying them—All laughs again. Who is this person? Who are all these people, actually? You recognize some influencers, a few cast members but there's no sign of the director, other main actors, not even his co-star. You feel like an extra in a movie where someone will be killed in a luxury party, hopefully not you. You take his hand from your body and clear your throat.—I'm just joking my love, she looks stunning, isn't she? I’ll get you a drink.

He leaves and the group of people surrounding you suddenly dissipated like boiling water, you were on your own again and despite some judgmental gazes is like you’re not there, you’re sure you could just take your dress off and throw it to someone’s face and unless Tim says something about it, no one would care. You’re there as his companion, an ornament, and that’s not enough to earn their attention because it’s too obvious you’re the one in turn.

You walk to the only window no one is smoking and check your phone, you know, the thing you do when you pretend you have important issues to attend, but no, you end reading some old messages, pictures, texting your mom of how much fun you’re having at the party, and somehow you check your filed Facebook messages to find Logan’s name. You cover the screen so fast you hurt your nail, his name is enough to make you tremble like a Chihuahua, you haven’t talked to him since that night, you know from his sister he lives in the house he bought for you two and he’s having the happiest life without you. You want to believe that because that means you took the right decision but deep inside… no, you can’t be that person, you want him to be happier than ever.

You find the guts to open the message, and you read as slowly as is humanly possible. “My angel, I hope this finds you in perfect health…” Dios, just Logan could start a message like that, your smile is almost too big to fit in your face so you bit your nail to cover it a little. “I recently found one of the human body drawings you made for me to study, you’ll be happy to know…”

—That’s a fucking long-ass message.—Tim appears behind you and takes your phone from your hand, spilling some of his drink on your dress in the process. Apparently, he's been there long enough to read part of the message.

—Give it back.—You command in the most severe voice you have, your magical moment got ruined and you remember the hole of hell you are.

—"My angel, I hope this finds you in perfect health. I recently found one of the human body drawings you made for me to study, you must know I still use them now and then"—Timothée starts reading the message, and even when no one is close enough to hear it and you don’t really care about this people’s opinion, that’s not for anyone to read, that’s one of the few parts of your life you treasure the most and you’re not ready to get over it.—You little slut, are you cheating on me with a med student?

—Give it to me.—You repeat trying to take the phone from his hand but he’s faster and walks away putting it out of your reach.

—"I meticulously preserve them, I certainly know any piece of art made by you will be priceless in the near future"—You don’t want to hear it coming from his drunk mocking voice, so you try to ignore what he’s saying and put more effort on chasing the phone.—Should I had kept the jeans where you left the wet spot on? I didn’t know you were an artist, my love.

—Timothée, por el amor de Dios.—Now you're trying to climb him, it wouldn't be that hard to take him down, he's skinny and you're fierce. That's what you thought but he's not moving even with you are on top of his shoulder and his opposite long arm keeps the phone away from you.

—Who is this guy and why is he talking to my girl like this?—You see the olive eyes getting darker and the tone of his voice went deeper than you thought he could do. You desist from taking the phone, you know the bullies love the attention, maybe that's exactly what he wants and give it to him just makes it worse.

—I'm not your girl.—You claim fixing up your dress having enough of games, and you have no reason to keep worrying about losing your job, the filming is done, and apparently your relationship with him too. You don't care about any of that anymore, just want to read Logan's text.

Even behind all the alcohol and the eyes injected in blood thanks for who knows what kind of drug, you can see the disappointment and anger, but it's not a broken heart, Is the hissy fit of a child that loses his balloon and now everyone will pay for it, especially you.

—Are you sure about that?—You can see him swallow hard, almost looking vulnerable, but his voice is defiant and threatening to prove you wrong. He just has to stretch out his arm to reach the open window with your phone in hand, his intentions are clear and the only thing you can do is raise your hands as a reflex.—You were mine the moment you put a foot on my trailer, and I don't fucking share my stuff.—Before you can say a word he drops the phone from the fourth floor.

You know is senseless but you find yourself running out of the party and going to search the device, using it also as an excuse to get away from that place. This is the first time someone makes you feel meaningless, you know the famous' world is cold and lacking in empathy but this is ridiculous, they're a bunch of parasites fed by attention and power. By Timothée.

The screen is crashed and the rest of it is probably beyond repair, not that you're surprised, its life is longer than you've been in the country and you admit you should have replaced it much earlier but you're not the kind to throw away things that still work. However, is not the phone you are worried about, not as much as what it contains.

—That was obsolete anyway, I'll get you a better one.—You didn't know he was following you, his voice interrupts your self-wailing. He sounds calmer and a little embarrassed, but not enough to say sorry, you don't think he's capable of saying it.

You shake your head and start to walk away without a word, you don't want anything from him, not materially, at least.

—Don't make a scandal out of it, it's just a phone!—He yells erasing any trace of regret in his voice. He doesn't see the reaction he expected and that's when he runs after you and with a hand on your upper arm pulls you back, you gasped for the sudden bluntness.—That annoying habit you have of leaving when I'm talking to you.

You push him away with all the strength you have, which resulted in him almost falling on the ground.

—I don't care about the stupid phone!—You finally break, but sadly is not as satisfactory as you thought it would be.—You are mean, vain, arrogant and the worst part is that you enjoy being this despicable human because you have absolutely no consequences to it. Everyone around you just accepts it and I feel so sorry for you because the only possible way for you to fill the void inside is to be surrounded by that crowd of mules licking your steps—To your surprise, he has nothing to say, he's just standing there with no facial expression, whatever he feels is easily covered by his years of experience acting, even drunk.—I can't give you that and it's obvious they don't want me either. What am I even doing here?—You ask yourself thinking where would be the best way of getting a cab, is a rich zone, must be easy.

—Everything is better when you're around—His voice is thin and fragile, you have to process what he said three times in your head to understand his words. You're not willing to look at him yet.—You're not like the others.

—Pure bullshit. You love to repeat that misogynist discourse of girls being in a certain way because is easier than be responsible for the people you choose to be—You were hugging yourself the whole time, is a cold night, but not enough to be bothersome, you enjoy Fall weather—You got me for a moment, I give you that, you fooled me but I'm too tired of guessing what version of you is real—When you return your gaze at him, he doesn't try to hide the guilt anymore, but there's still haughtiness in there.—Now, if you don't mind Mr. Chalamet, I need to get a cab.

—No, you came with me, you leave with me.—There's no trace of alcohol in his voice anymore, a good scolding is enough to put you sober, you know that thanks to your mom. Oh god, you're becoming her.

—You didn't bring me here, gigantic head—You look at him and put your hand in front of him with the palm up. He stares at it for several seconds before put his own on it—Not that!—You shake it and start looking inside his jeans pockets until you feel the metal of his key car.—You can't drive and I have to get home. You'll find it in the studio tomorrow.

That's how you ended with a car way more luxurious than you expected, driving so slowly and carefully that the police stopped you. What a night, but at this point, you couldn't care less about anything that is not that message, is been months and you can't get over it, over him. Not even Ben moans, Tom's comforting arms, or fight with a movie star at 3:00 am. is enough to get him out of your mind.

—So is true, you don't wear anything that hasn't appeared in a movie, huh?—Michael B. Jordan is leaning on the car window with a mocking smile and a sparkle of satisfaction that you would love to punch but his uniform keeps you in line, where you come from police is not equal to justice, most of the times is oppression.

—You know where it's from?—That was kind of comforting, no one at the party noticed. Not that you care.

—Is The Mask, not some Adam Hitchcock's blurb.—He smiles and even when you really don't like him, it's nice to be with a familiar face, you are really tired of running away, scaping for problems that are a result of your null capacity to deal with emotions. Ugh, what a word.

—Is Alfred Hitchcock, actually.—You didn't want to sound priggish, but you correct him with no time to stop yourself, an old habit.

—You got me, smarty, you know more than movies than me. Where did you get this car?—You feel really nervous even when you got this legally, you have your documents and license on time and he's being nice enough to not want to run away in a car that you technically borrowed for yourself.

—It's not mine.—No shit, Sherlock.

—No shit, Sherlock, I was asking where did you steal it.—You wanted to laugh but there's something with the uniform that just doesn't allow you to be yourself.—Are you drunk?

—No, no, fuck, no, it's just, I don't feel comfortable with cops—He raises his eyebrows but that is his only reaction.—Listen, is my boss' car, I'm doing the favor to take it to the studio, and I'm really nervous because is fucking expensive, he's an asshole, I haven't drive un almost a year because you people only use cars if you're rich or your work and lives depend on it. I'm starving.—The last part came out of nowhere, you haven't eaten anything in almost 13 hours, maybe that's the actual reason why you are that moody.

He doesn't answer right away, takes his time to look at you, what makes you blush, he's really close, closer than he's ever been. Does he smell like green apples? Not the actual apples, the artificial smell they had given to them.

—Get out of the car.—Oh no, is he arresting you? Is he finally taking revenge for every time you make fun of his Hawaiian-type shirts? You know you have too much karma accumulated and a cop making you pay for it when you don’t believe in their sense of justice is kinda poetic, and evil.

You don’t want to discuss with someone with a taser, gun, pepper spray, or who knows what else. So you take your bag, the key car, and get off defeated.

—My turn is almost over, I’ll take you to eat something, c’mon.—He walks back to his patrol and you stay still for a few seconds still processing his words, you must look totally devastated for him to offer that. How you see it you have two options, go with him and spend an awkward hour with a person you don’t like or risk getting a fine, Tim can pay it, it’s not a big deal but you don’t want to owe him even the minimal thing.

You get in the car holding on to your bag to feel calmer, this is the first time you’re fully alone with him since you found him half-naked in your kitchen. Those defined abs may never leave your brain.

—Are you cold?—He interrupts your thoughts with his question, you didn’t notice you were shaking. He looks for something under his seat and gives you an NYPD hoodie, you hold it doubting your next move, is not like you don’t appreciate the gesture but it’d be easier to take if it doesn’t get that words printed—Is clean.—He says chuckling when he sees the way you’re looking at it.

—Is not that, just, you know, fuck the police, defund the NYPD, demilitarize the pigs and that stuff.—You say putting on the hoodie anyway, is a cold night and you won't help the institution wearing their propaganda.

—Yeah, I get it, but you can't change the system just from within.—You decide is not the right moment to have a political conversation so you shrug your shoulders and discreetly smell the hoodie, a mix of cologne, green apples, and cheap soap, you know is cheap because you buy the exact same, do its job.

—I'm in the mood for pizza.—You say casually, making a deal to yourself to try to be his friend, he is a small part of your life anyway.—Domino's is open at this time of the night?

—Tell me you're not consuming that shit, dear Lord, you been here for how long, two years? I can't believe your idea of a good pizza is Domino's. Stella hasn't taught you anything?—You're surprised by the level of condescension with a pizza and you mirror his smile, suddenly feeling embarrassed. Your school program includes people from all around the world so you don't have that much experience with actual new yorkers. Logan is rich, so he doesn't really count.

—What's wrong with Domino's? I don't buy much street food, is cheaper to buy things on the food market. Besides, all pizza is good.—The mention of Sheep makes you a little tense, so you don't say anything about it, is not a conversation to have with him.

—Don't blaspheme in the patrol, I just washed it—You laugh, finally, after a terrible weekend. You can see why she likes him, there is something about his voice, smile, and his eyes that feel... calm, like watching Friends after a marathon of Lord of the Rings.—There are rules to survive this city, and I'm surprised you have made it this far without a proper guide.

—Chill out Mr. Miyagi, I'm not from the jungle, and I've learned a lot by myself.—He gives you a lopsided grin as a request, and you put your fingers up ready to enlist your acquired knowledge.—Walk fast, like you're about to be stabbed, something that actually happened to me, with an umbrella—He nods and laughs being related to it.—Number two, no small talk, no one cares, even if they ask. Number three, if you look a stranger in the eye, especially a homeless person, you have essentially invited them to approach you.

—Number four, we never eat from Domino's, Papa John's, Pizza hut, or any other chain restaurant, only trucks and local places are allowed.—You roll your eyes but you get the point, is just, again, you're not much into street food, it doesn't taste like home and the only way to eat food like that is preparing it yourself.

—Fine, fuck capitalism, let's support local places—You make an obvious fake enthusiastic tone but he nods proudly.—Number five, you don't need a car to live here, not even know how to drive. I would have successfully avoided this police brutality if I had followed that rule.

—For someone who is about to eat for free, you whine too much.—He parks the car and gives you a sign to go with him. You see him go to a pizza truck and order, you realize at the moment how ridiculous you look, so before chasing him you let your hair down, take your huge earrings off, and roll up the skirt of your dress until your mid-thighs letting the hoodie cover the rest, and clean the red lipstick with a Kleenex from your bag. Now you look more like a college person and not a rich girl who just got seized.

—Here you go.—He says giving you a slice as big as your head, looks oily and spreading cheese everywhere. Perfect.

—Is it vegan?—You ask receiving the food with an obnoxious face. His kind grind turned into a dread expression and you give him your second laugh of the day.—I'm kidding.

You are about to give it a bite when you see passing next to you a huge rat with the exact same slice as yours in its mouth, running into the dark of the night happy to have obtained the food for its family. They use to scare you when you just moved out but now they're like any other pigeon in the sky.

—Rule... whatever, a rat with a slice of pizza is a symbol for good luck, congratulations.—He pets your head awkwardly, not sure if you're ok with the physical contact, which, surprisingly, you are.

—I see rats with bagels all the time.—Pizza and bagels, that's the main culinary wonders of the city, you like it, not much to object but is hard not to compare it with your home's food.

—Is easy to confuse a rough diamond with a simple rock.—You both eat in silence, enjoying the mixed sounds of the city and all the different smells, the whole situation feels like one of those lofi music videos. You remember thinking about moments like this before getting the scholarship, what would it be like to feel normal in the city of your dreams.

—How do you know that much about movies?—He asks after a few minutes when you take a break to drink something, that pizza is not easy to take.

—When I was a kid a spent much time on my own, so my dad bought me a used DVD reproducer, and at the corner of my neighborhood was this movie store where you could buy 5 pirate movies for one dollar. They were blurred, with a terrible sound, and most of the time with the wrong movie inside but they helped me to not feel lonely. Eventually, the store closed but I've watched everything in it by then—He gives you a warm smile, you never told that story to anyone, not because is too intimate to share, but because no one asked, it doesn't sound like a question with a complex answer.—Anyway, I watched Marie Antoinette when I was like eight, and I decided at that moment that however is done I wanted to be part of that magic.

—You hear all kind of people chasing dreams in this city but is hard to find someone who actually deserves it.—You blush and you cover it with your hair but the smile on your voice is impossible to hide.

—Is that a compliment? You must really want me to like you to date Sheep.—You laugh but you can see his face tense, so you can guess your friend has been busy breaking everyone’s hearts.

—She hasn’t returned my calls in three days so I don’t think there’s much you can do—You nod, all this time you thought he was the reason she is ignoring you but apparently you are both in the same boat.—But yeah, I don’t know what I was thinking, what I should have said is, Marie Antoinette at eight? I can see where all the damage started.

You gasp and throw your napkin at his head, he easily catches it without even looking at it and laughs; that was unexpectedly attractive.

—Why a cop?—You ask, not sure where that question came from, maybe you authentically want to know more about him, he just bought you food, and honestly, that's the easiest way to win your trust.

—I wanted to be an actor when I was a child. This is the city of opportunities so you may think that if you want to chase the big wonder, this is the perfect place to do it. But I grow up surrounded by these people giving their entire lives to get something just given to one in a million so I decided is not worth it. For many years I wondered what I wanted to do with my life and the answer was really clear, my dad was a cop, a good one, or that’s what people say. I don’t remember much because he died when I was seven—Conversations about death are not your strength, everything can turn out uncomfortable if you choose the wrong words.—It might not be that glamorous but if my father died for it, it surely worth it.

—For the good ones.—You raise your almost empty can of Coke and he does the same with a grin that warms the cold weather of the night.

—For the good ones.

The next two hours passed like minutes talking about anything and everything. It just felt right to talk freely with him, you didn’t feel judged for your awkward family moments or your random thoughts, not even once because he told you his too. At some point of the night he borrowed you his gym sweatpants, any of you could just suggest going home but that was off the table, end that peace just for weather reasons would have been a tragedy.

—I read Timothée Chalamet is a dick. Is that true?—The mention of his name remains you of your life and everything that comes with it, including the middle semester project that you must dedicate your entire day, one that is about to start.—What, you can’t talk about it?

—He is a complete dick with no sense of privacy or human decency—And when he interrupts a deep kiss to look at your eyes, smile, and caress your chin, you feel like a character of his Victorian movies. But he didn’t ask that.—But the next week he’ll be no longer my problem.

—That’s why we have rule twenty-three, don’t ask for a picture of a celebrity unless they are local—You have heard about it before but you haven’t got the opportunity to decide if you like that rule because the only celebrities you have seen are from work and that club’s party opening.—That means you’ll be free to go to the Stephen Kings’ movie projection there will be for Halloween.

You don’t know if that was a proposition, a suggestion, or just a simple recommendation, and whatever it is, you noticed he was nervous to ask. Is it wrong? It feels wrong like you were betraying your friend accepting to hang out with his boyfriend without her consent. But he didn’t ask you to go with him so is safe to answer.

—Yeah, I guess—You get a moment, four seconds top, where you shared innocent, curious, and tenting gazes like three graders in the playground. And that’s the further you will allow yourself to go.—We better leave, if the sunlight touch me I’ll turn into dust.

You get off the car hood and go to the side door, but this time he opens it for you. You give him a “seriously?” Look, receiving a little push in your arm as a response.

↬☀︎︎

A distant voice asks you to wake up, softly whispers that turn into caresses on your cheek, your eyes feel so heavy, even when you are well aware of your environment your eyelids keep closed.

—Good morning, Princess—This is the first time Tom calls you that way, the change from silly nicknames to Princess is enough to get you out of hibernation. He is squatting beside your bed, his smile is the promise of a better day, and chasing that idea you give him one small back.—Your mom has been texting me desperately all day, she said you're not answering her calls and is worried.

—Fuck, my phone broke last night, can I call her from yours?—That’s an oversimplification but in the search for a better story, that's what you decide to believe and tell. Tom nods and gives it to you, he looks happy, beyond that, this is the first time you see that subtle blush on his cheeks and the eyes sparkling. You sit on the bed next to his body looking for your mom's number, slowly he moves between your legs, you have shorts and an oversized Back To The Future t-shirt, you got took the time to prepare yourself to bed last night and keep Michael’s clothes inside your closet to wash them, like The Tell-Tale Heart, a little innocent secret who feels dirty somehow

The conversations with your mom are always long, nostalgic and the tears are hard to hold for both parts; after a long life sharing almost every day with her, her absence never feels smaller. But this time is different, Tom is exploring the bare skin under your knee with his warm hands, asking for permission with curious eyes, and when you don’t object to the touch the British boy keeps his exploring mission cautiously, giving special attention to see your eyes in case something change. Is time to hang up when he gives a long and loving kiss to your knee, the less erotic kiss you could think of but so intimate to bristle your skin.

—Not nice to touch someone's daughter when is talking to her mom.—The protest of your voice loses strength at every word, he heard that and just straight his back to reach your face, the gap is almost extinct.

—We're okay, she likes me.—He assures holding your hips and pulling you a bit to him. Tom looks very comfortable with the new closeness authorization, you like it but are not very sure about it yet, most of you still think of him as your best friend.

—Did she tell you that? Are you talking with my mom behind my back?—You laugh when he does, almost like nothing changed.

—She adores me, I swear, I'm invited to Christmas, you know?—You're not surprised, she invites everyone, Logan was too but the first time he got family plans and didn't make it to the second.

—You should go, maybe we can do...—His lips touch yours in a peak at the middle phrase and makes you forget what you were about to say.—Man, the audacity to interrupt...—Then he kisses you again, deeply, using his tongue to taste your inner lip and his hands holding your shirt in fists. That's a twist of events.

—Is that ok?—You hear a weak whisper coming out of his voice but you got so mesmerized on his lips that decided to ignore it and kiss him back instead. He responds to your touch and starts to lean over you to make you lay on the bed.

Jesucristo bendito, is this happening? like, actually happening? you must look like trash, you barely took all the makeup from the night before and didn't take a shower, you start to get so worried about smells, feelings, and what that'll mean to your already too much-spoiled friendship.

However, the time of doubts is done when Sheep starts yelling in the living room, you both reacted running to the sound and looking for your blonde friend. Michael is there but doesn't look like the same as a few hours ago, is annoyed and tired for the lack of sleep, a look that doesn't match him at all.—What did you do?—You ask him fast assuming she's mad for something he did.

—Just in time, the star of the movie, I was wondering how much it will take you to be the protagonist of this.—That is Sheep's voice talking about you and what must be your heart breaking from her words.

—Excuse me?—You wish your tone would be less savage but you can't help respond the same way she did.

—Logan wasn't enough, then you got the drummer, fucking Timothée Chalamet, Tom and now my boyfriend. I'm so glad I didn't leave you alone with my dad or I'd be calling you mom now.—You have no words to that, Michael doesn't even dare to look at you, he must have told her something she misunderstood, but Sheep, or well, Stella is saying things she actually thinks and keep to herself. Tom walks in front of you whispering things to her to calm her down but she is not looking at him, you didn't tell her anything about Tom either so he's taking responsibility this time.—Go ahead and fuck the whole city, Michael if that please you but you're crossing the line with Tom and you know that, you're going to ruin him as you ruin every man that enters in your life.—She has a very you moment having the last word of the dispute and getting out of the apartment with Michael going after her but not putting much effort in it.

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#ben hardy imagine #michael b jordan fc #tom holland x reader #timothee chalamet fanfiction #pedro pascal #logan lerman fc #definitely maybe #fluff #angst #timothee chalamet #Tom Holland #Ben Hardy

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l-artemisia-del-secolo · 3 years

Text

Whistle

Yelena Belova x reader, oneshot, mentions of Natasha's death, angst, hopefully ending, took a few liberties with Yelena's fake family

You woke up alone. Again. Third time during the last two weeks. Even with your eyes closed, you knew she wasn't around. Familiar anxiety was already crawling under your skin, coming up to your throat.

Cold floor, soft fabrics of the robe, click of a lamp. Exactly the same occurances and exactly in the same order.

And then you heard it. That damn whistle. Harmless by itself but so critical for you both. For Yelena it was a constant reminder of something terrible, that she never shared with you. For you it was an indication that this very moment your girl was drowning in pain and regrets you couldn't possibly fathom.

Trying not to wake up your dogs, you followed the note. Yelena was sitting in the kitchen, staring blankly at the half full bottle of vodka, she didn't even bother to use a glass. Smoldering cigarette in her hand and who knew how many already burnt ones in the ashtray.

"Oh, isn't it my favourite girl?"

You could barely understand her. Her usually adorable accent became so much thicker. You were surprised she didn't attack you with her favourite Russian curse words. Maybe everything wasn't as bad.

"Yes, I'm here."

You wanted to get her at least a glass and clean the ashtray, but Yelena caught you with her free hand. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Nowhere, I'm with you." You let her hug you. "How are you?"

"Great. Don't you see it?" She smiled in your chest.

"Yeah, I do."

You started massaging her scalp, carefully trying to bring her back to you from that whistle.

"You're so good, girl." She moaned. "I'm sorry, I woke you up."

"It's ok." You felt her grip on your back tightening. "Nightmares again?"

"Yes."

"Wanna talk?"

"Nope."

Sometimes you were wondering how strong this woman actually was. Being able to overcome so many obstacles, so many enemies and still being able to show her vulnerable side. Fighting, surviving, sharing a life with someone. You admired her. And you hated the world for making this woman suffer so much.

"How long have you been here?"

"Well." She looked at the bottle. "An hour or something."

Not long enough for her to get really drunk. But enough for her to muffle the memories.

"How are so warm?" Her nails were already digging in your skin.

"How are you so adorable?" You kissed her forehead. "Let me go, Lena. I'm going to make us coffee. Since it's already 5 a.m."

"Fine." She reluctantly freed you.

"Oh, and no more smoking."

As an answer Yelena mumbled something inaudible. But it was Russian and it wasn't a praise.

When she returned from the bathroom, she already felt better. Cold water helped her to sober up a little.

When she came back her cup of coffee was waiting for her.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." You were already sipping yours.

"I can only imagine how much you hate me right now." Yelena preferred not to look at you at all, already feeling the guilt.

"Don't say that. I'm worried about you. You're sleeping less, drinking more, being somewhere very far from here. How long will you be able to go on like this?"

"I don't know. It's just...maybe it's because of the anniversary or..."

"Anniversary of what?"

Yelena saw genuine concern in your eyes, heard it in your tone, felt it for months in your touches. She had to tell you. What if it freed her, what if it helped her to cope with the loss. She couldn't handle it on her own any more.

"In three days. I promise, I'll explain everything."

Those three days were so ordinary. With routines and talks, and reality. Both of you carefully avoided the subject. Until Yelena told you to get ready.

She didn't tell you where you were going, remaining silent for hours. Seeing her like this was devastating. But from time to time Yelena glanced at you as if to remember she wasn't alone.

You don't know how many hours you spent on the road. It didn't matter, once you got to your destanation.

A graveyard. Yelena never told you about this. Never told you about deaths of her close people, you were not even sure she had them.

When you were about to enter it, she whistled as if to hear something in return. But she only heard rustle of leaves.

You held her hand, interwining fingers. Her veins needed to be filled with trust and love, yours with her despair and fear.

She looked at you and nodded. Your walk took around 20 minutes, when Yelena suddenly stopped. You followed her gaze to the one of the tombstones.

Natasha Romanoff. Of course you knew who that was. Everybody knew. A hero who saved you all, a woman who defeated pure evil. Her and Tony's monuments were in every big city. But apparently this was her real grave. Or rather symbolic one. You knew Yelena had her ties with Avengers, but she never told you she knew Natasha.

"Daughter, sister, Avenger."

Sister. Natasha was the sister from Yelena's dreams, the one whom she so loudly was searching for. Not the metaphorical black widow from the same mission.

"I'm sorry, I never told you about her. She was a part of a past long forgotten." Yelena regretted, she didn't bring you here before. How could she be so ignorant to think, you could make it worse for her.

"Your sister."

"Yes. Adopted one. We didn't have much time together. She just had to save the world, you know?"

"She was a hero. The one others aspire to be."

You walked closer. Now you could see all the flowers and toys, and letters, and candles, and who knew what else.

Yelena got down on her knees and whispered something. She was greeting her sister, was telling that she was not alone. Not anymore.

"She would be proud of you. You've come a long way since the old days." You carefully avoided all the mentions of the Red Room.

"I hope so. Red on the ledger. That's how she used to call it."

"You whistle to her?" You knelt down to Yelena's level.

"Yes. That's a stupid thing from childhood. Whenever she whistled back, I knew I had a family to come to. With my fake mother being the mastermind of the mind control and fake father being a jerk, Natasha was the only family I had. Do you think... you think... one day we can become a family?"

This question caught you off guard. You never talked about it. You loved Yelena deeply, but you were not sure she was ready for such commitments.

The pause was too long. Yelena could read the doubts in your look.

"It's not because I need a replacement or something. I thought about it a lot. And I'm ready to have a responsibility."

"Are you sure?" You didn't want to give to both of you false hope.

"I know, I'm far from perfect. But... yes, a family."

"A family. I want it with you." How could you say no to her. To the woman you already knew, you wanted to spend your life with.

"And you will always whistle me back?"

"Always."

#broken Yelena is such an interesting character #like the girl next door is great #but with her experiences she has so much storytelling potential #black widow 2021 #black widow fic #marvel self insert #yelena belova #yelena belova fanfiction #yelena belova imagine #yelena belova x reader #yelena belova x you

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