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erinthesails · 4 months

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Inspired by @getmean, i did a little writeup of the books i read in 2023, and a little blurb about my thoughts! read 37 total, which isn't bad considering how busy it was, this past autumn especially.

organized roughly by genre because i thought the breakdown of what kinds of things i ended up reading was interesting, and marked my faves of the year with *s!

Novels

Altered Carbon by Richard K. Morgan

Did not start strong in this category, this book was truly awful. Like, I wanted to be able to just turn my brain off and at least enjoy a fun sci fi adventure but it was like. God. the worst parts of detective/noir novels and the worst parts of sci fi bound together by an interesting concept that the author had no idea how to handle. Im getting mad about this book again just thinking about it

Gingerbread by Helen Oyeyemi

Really really liked this! I love Oyeyemi’s prose and the way her writing always feels surprising. Read this in a group, with people who didn’t really enjoy it, which was unfortunate, but it compelled me a lot! I think i liked White is For Witching better, but still a really lovely interesting story

*The Dazzle of Day by Molly Gloss

This was probably my favorite new book of the year, and it came as a total surprise! Picked it up on a whim at a used bookstore and didn’t actually expect much of it, but was actually stunning. Super super highly recommend for anyone who likes sci-fi and thought experiments and the mundane realities and sacrifices of creating a livable future for everyone. It reminded me of The Dispossessed but like, a lot tighter and with characters who felt more distinct. Which is high praise because i fucking love The Dispossessed. Ursula Le Guin stans read immediately

Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi

Soooo good, soso good. I was skeptical at first because like. A whole book where you never hear from the same character more than once is a very tough sell. Each chapter is from a different character’s POV, displaced in both time and space from one another, but Gyasi weaves the stories together so well, I felt newly invested in both the collective tale being told and the new people we were meeting every chapter. Another absolute banger

*The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. Le Guin

This was a reread, because I assigned it to my students and wanted to get it fresh in my mind before discussing in class. Tearing my hair out, collapsing to the floor in tears, etc etc etc. Book of all time forever

Our Missing Hearts by Celeste Ng

This one was a shocking disappointment! I absolutely love Celeste Ng’s other work but this one fell so flat. I’m not sure if it’s because she felt uncomfortable writing a child’s POV—but that wasn’t the problem, because the chapters from the Mom’s POV were just as flat—or if she was feeling self-conscious about the fact that it was speculative fiction (despite not being marketed that way at all) or if this was just a COVID project that got pushed into the world before it was ready… I’m really not sure what happened here, but again, conceptually interesting, but so unexciting in execution. Not enough to rattle my faith in her though, I’ll be back again next time Ms. Ng…Everything I Never Told You really was just that good

We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson

Glad to have finally read this one! One of those books i’d always meant to read and expected i’d like but just never got around to until now. And I did! Love a story where the house is haunted by the people who live in it, love fucked up sibling relationships, love a child with murder on the mind. I kept expecting it to like. Do a little more with the conversation about class and historical power. But maybe that’s just because i’d read White is For Witching recently

Tender is the Flesh by Agustina Bazterrica

Thought I’d like this one more than I did, but it wasn’t bad. There were parts where the metaphor really started to get muddled in a way that uh. Felt like it undercut the more interesting parts of the story. Like yes cannibalism is imperialist capitalism, but also it’s maybe factory farming? Which is a less interesting way of framing things? Imo? Also the actual descriptions were so visceral I kept getting queasy and having to set the book down, which doesn’t usually happen for me with books. So sign of effective prose I guess! But ultimately it didn’t feel like it was for me

Monkey King by Wu Cheng'en

WOOOHOOOO SUN WUKONG, EVERYBODY GIVE IT UP FOR SUN WUKONG

Signal Fires by Dani Shapiro

This one reminded me of Our Missing Hearts in a lot of ways, primarily that a) it felt like it was trying harder to be Important than to be complex and interesting, and b) it features a child narrator who Does Not sound convincingly like a child. It was fine tho, read it with my mom because it’s her favorite author, so that was kinda nice!

Nevada by Imogen Binnie

I always have a hard time with Coming Of Age In The Big City books, even and especially queer ones, but I did kinda like that this one felt So aimless and frustrated. I’m not sure if that was the author’s intention, as I think it was written as sort of autofiction, but I was compelled by how completely misguided the main character is, while still being sympathetic. Like you can watch her thought patterns taking her the wrong way realtime and still understand why they went there, and clearly see the core problem she’s avoiding, with it still being believable that she wouldn’t be able to see it. I like a character who has no clue what’s going on, what can I say! Unfortunately I’d also just read Zami which made this book feel lesser by comparison, but that’s not Nevada’s fault. I cannot hold it against Imogen Binnie for not being Audre Lorde lol

*The Baron in the Trees by Italo Calvino

This was the year of finally reading books that have been on my shelf for years!! Really liked this one a lot. It has a lot of the best parts of Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s storytelling, with a bit of a thicker layer of realism, which sometimes serves it, sometimes doesn’t. Delightful overall, definitely a fave of the year! Favorite part though was reading this book with a friend who, when we met to discuss it, opened with “okay i didn’t actually expect this guy to spend the WHOLE time in the trees”

Orlando by Virginia Woolf

I happened to be reading this at the same time as Baron in the Trees, and i felt like the two resonated across each other in really interesting ways! I love when that happens, and it happened a few times this year, which was exciting. Woolf is always doing the most, of course, but a lot of the emotional landscape of the story really stuck with me, as well as the meditations on “what is art and the pursuit of creative fulfillment for, anyway?” Me too, Orlando, me too

Novellas

The Employees by Olga Ravn

Really interesting little book! Never would have heard of it if it wasn’t for a friend from grad school, but i really liked the structure of it and the way it used lots of different voices without having to necessarily make characters out of any of them

The Tale of the Unknown Island by José Saramago

Not sure if this can really be classified as a novella as I think it’s like less than 5,000 words long, but i bought it as a book, so a book it shall be! Lovely little parable and a strange moment in time captured on the page!

*Present Tense Machine by Gunnhild Øyehaug

Another total surprise picked up at random from a used bookstore! I thought the cover looked interesting and the book was too! This is like. The platonic ideal of a novella. Not too high concept, doesn’t work too hard to explain itself, but includes enough additional detail and character to allow the ideas to resonate further than it would have as a short story. Seriously, go read this is so good

The Strange Library by Haruki Murakami

We love a strange library! We also love an artbook! Honestly the design of the book was more compelling to me than the story itself, but it was a nice book to sit with for an afternoon and let yourself settle into the world of it

The Hole by Hiroko Oyamada

Ohhhh the tension and tone of this one is so well done…I know some people who felt like it was too slow and never got around to anywhere in particular, but I felt like the feeling it evoked while leading us by the hand was so clear and so unsettling it was worth it. It felt like the feeling was the goal, the suffocating, dead-end feeling of being locked out of the world by the expectations of motherhood and wifehood and the way suburban survival exists only to perpetuate itself…it’s good, it’s really good!!!

Chronicle of a Death Foretold by Gabriel García Márquez

Marquez is so good every time always. Another really excellent use of the novella form, telling a really dense story that feels like it’s meandering while actually packing in so many essential details. We’re running really hard in circles in a field and marquez is dragging us along and it feels like what the goddamn hell are we doing, what are we running towards is this anything or am i just being taken on a little adventure for no reason. Then you stop and look down and realize you’ve trampled the corn stalks down in a perfect fibonacci spiral that points neatly toward the solution. Or something.

Permutations Among the Nightingales and The Gioconda Smile by Aldous Huxley

Combining these two because I don’t have too much to say about either and they both came from the same collection. I liked Permutations a lot better than Gioconda because cyclic story structures always scratch my brain, but neither were too compelling. I’m beginning to think i just dont like Aldous Huxley

What Moves the Dead by T. Kingfisher

Hmmmm I feel like…there is a certain kind of smug, sweetiepie speculative fiction that no one acknowledges as a particular movement in the genre, but that is really notably There and that Doesn’t Work For Me. Okay that sounds really mean. I didn’t hate this book! It just felt very self conscious about its project of like. “Queering the gothic.” And ended up feeling very sanitized and boring as a result. I don’t know, I felt about this book similarly to how I felt about Psalm for the Wild Built by Becky Chambers. Like, the Concept is good in theory, but it’s expected to do way too much heavy lifting in a story that, ultimately, feels more self-congratulatory than complicated or engaging. I don’t know how to explain it, but it feels like a story that was solved before the author sat down to write it. Not objectively bad by any means but just wasn’t for me

The Willows by Algernon Blackwood

Another instance of finally reading stuff I’d always meant to read! I know this story is often cited as the kind of “original” weird fiction/cosmic horror, so it was interesting to see how that played out. Definitely not quite either of those genres as I know them today, but there was still a subtlety to it that felt really satisfying. It was good! I’m glad people have drawn from it and written even better stories in its style! I can definitely see the way stories like Annihilation have roots (lol) in this story

Fiction Collection

*So Long Been Dreaming edited by Nalo Hopkinson

I often tend to meander through and not finish fiction anthologies, which is weird because i love short stories, but I almost always gravitate toward single-author collections and lit mags when I want them. But I’m really glad I finished this, because almost every story in it was excellent! I really love Nalo Hopkinson’s writing, so it was fascinating seeing her editing sensibilities at work

Fruiting Bodies by Kathryn Harlan

Just okay! Had some winners and some losers, as all collections do, but pretty much puttered along at a solid “fine” throughout. Nothing really stood out as particularly bad or particularly good, which is a shame because it seemed like exactly the kind of thing I’d be into. The title story was probably my favorite, but other than that, I honestly don’t even remember most of them

Afterglow edited by Grist

Another anthology, this one that I picked up because it had a cool cover and compelling premise (sci-fi climate optimism). Unfortunately most of the stories had the same sort of smug self assuredness that i disliked in “What Moves The Dead.” I’ve ranted about this at length but i always have mixed feelings about cli-fi, especially the subgenre of climate optimism. A story that has its tone and outcome so neatly pre-determined by definition has to work pretty hard to do anything unexpected, and most of these did not, HOWEVER, there were two standout stories I loved so much they made the whole collection feel worth it. Everyone read “The Secrets of the Last Greenland Shark” by Mike McClelland and “Broken from the Colony” by Ada M. Patterson!!!

Milk Blood Heat by Dantiel W. Moniz

A pretty solid collection that, again, didn’t have too many stories that really stuck out, though, again, the title story was the most memorable and it lingered with me much more closely than Fruiting Bodies

Memoir

Tranny by Laura Jane Grace

Yayyyy, Laura Jane Grace! I always see that quote from this book going around Tumblr and wanted to read it myself. I liked it a lot! It also got me to listen to more Against Me! because I’d really only listened to Transgender Dysphoria Blues before this. Which has been delightful!

*Zami by Audre Lorde

Major standout of the year, even though it took me a long time to read the whole thing. Each chapter is such a perfectly crafted, bite sized piece that I was just kind of meandering through one or two at a time, turning them over in my head as i went. I also read it right before reading Nevada, so unfortunately I already had the perfect Lesbian Coming Of Age In New York book on the mind that i couldn’t help comparing it to. We all know Audre Lorde is amazing, but this book is really truly gorgeous

A Small Place by Jamaica Kincaid

Not sure where to classify this lil book honestly, as it fits here, and under novella, and under nonfiction topic, but it felt like there was a core of memoir there that stood out as i read. Another book i bought years ago and only just got around to reading, but it was extremely vivid, i love Kincaid’s voice

I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

Whewwwww this book was a lot. It is as good as everyone says it is but definitely hard to read at times. Not much to say other than it’s definitely worth reading

Nonfiction topic

Six Memos for the Next Millennium by Italo Calvino

Love the ideas in here, but imagine it would have been a lot more engaging to listen to them as lectures than to read them all together. Love Calvino but he does tend toward the abstract, and these were a bit dry. Got me thinking about a lot of literary goals and challenges though, which was interesting

*A Swim in a Pond in the Rain by George Saunders

I liked this a lot! I tend to avoid “writing advice” type books because they’re so often preachy and not useful, but i really liked the format of this as a breakdown of what’s working in each of these stories and why. I also haven’t read many of The Russian Greats, but really enjoyed most of these ones he selected! My main takeaway is that Checkov kinda rules and Tolstoy kinda sucks. And i stand by that

Under a White Sky by Elizabeth Kolbert

Interesting collection of essays about climate change! It definitely had the journalist’s stink of “neutrality” at times, but gave some really fascinating accounts of people doing cool things in the climate change world. I really don’t read much nonfiction like this, so it was refreshing and informative and i learned a lot about carp

*Ezili's Mirrors by Omise'eke Natasha Tinsley

Okay so i really love Theory, but I never read it outside of class. I guess i always worried i would feel too lost without being able to check in with all the PhD people who are more versed in academese, but i decided to give it a go and i’m really glad i did, because i absolutely love this book. Such a fascinating mix of theory (she does open the book by saying “don’t read this as a book of theory” but like. Yeah there’s theory in here) and lived experience and history and mythology and storytelling and the myriad ways that gender is a story we tell and a story that’s inscribed onto us and a reality written by histories of colonialism and survival pushed into shape by self-expression and community……i liked it a lot!!! And if you’re interested in learning about anti-colonialism and gender, you’ll like it too!

Graphic novel

New Masters by Shobo and Shof Coker

Got this after dropping in on a panel by Shobo and Shof Coker at Emerald City Comic Con! Loved the way they talked about creating this world and you could really feel how much detail and care went into every part of it. Enjoyed it a lot, I hope to read more from them!

The Harrowing of Hell by Evan Dahm

Evan Dahm!!! My beloved Evan Dahm!!! He is always at comic cons and I was so obsessed with Rice Boy as a teen, I’m always a little starstruck by the fact that i can just walk up to his booth and talk to him lol. But I did and bought this book from him, and got it signed even! This book is so fucking cool and moody and manages to make it a story about Jesus in hell without it being. You know. The way it could be with that as the subject. Just a genuinely compelling treatment of Jesus as a character and person, with very cool art too. I also read it while i was listening to Unreal Unearth which i know is extremely. Uh. i don’t even know. Baby’s first Dante’s Inferno. But it absolutely contributed to the vibe and made it a great summer evening activity

#if yall read any of these lmk there are so many i have thoughts about

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beomglocks · 3 years

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mr. choi ; c.sb

summary : your new neighbor comes over to introduce himself.

pairing : dilf neighbor!soobin x (legal)!reader

warnings & other : slight SMUT, dont read if youre uncomfortable with age gaps, sexual tension, noninnocent (?) touching, there’s like one curse, happy valentines day

w/c : 1.7k

after hours of locking yourself in your bedroom you finally decide to come out and grab a snack from the kitchen. you vaguely remember the sound of the doorbell being rung and distinct chatter coming from the living room following but you frankly weren't interested in whoever had arrived.

by now though, the chatter had died down to simple conversation and the occasional obnoxious laugh from your mom specifically. you stretch, walking out of your bedroom and completely forgetting that you had a guest.

you barely even walk past the living room when you see a man sitting on the love seat with a simple black tee shirt and slacks on, his jacket draped over the couch's back. his legs are spread open, strawberry hair messy, and head leaning against his veiny hand, listening to your mom drone on about something your older sibling did in their youth.

"oh," you say out loud. suddenly all eyes are on you and you can't help but shrink at the mans lingering gaze on your body. you're suddenly self conscious about the fact that you're wearing booty shorts and a white shirt that was a bit more on the translucent side, that and the fact that you were wearing no bra.

"oh mr. choi, this is my daughter y/n!"

he doesn't answer right away, subtly dragging his eyes down your body as if undressing you while you stand awkwardly at the entrance of the living room. "hello y/n," he says simply, staring back into your eyes.

your body gets hot and you feel a familiar wetness start to accumulate just above your thighs. the way he said your name just felt so right. his voice seemed gravelly as if he'd been yelling all day and just now had a chance to rest his voice with quiet conversation.

you completely forget your snack already finding something even more satisfying right in front of you.

you sit on the accent chair across from him, eyeing him down just as he did you. he smirks, amused by how completely unsubtle your arousal is.

"mr. choi just moved to our neighborhood and i thought it would be a good idea to introduce ourselves as neighbors," your mom explains. you nod, smiling at him.

"choi soobin," he starts. "i worked at a company in another city but was promoted so i had to move here for the new position. the neighborhood is nice, the people too," he says looking at you. you give him a bright smile, "im glad you like it."

soobin leans back in the chair, eyeing you once more, specifically choosing to linger his gaze on your chest. "so soobin-" his deep chuckle cuts you off and you look at him expectantly.

"im sorry... it's just that since i work at a company im used to people calling me mr. choi or... sir," he says, narrowing his eyes at you. "wow you must be at a high position!" your mom excitedly gapes and you have to wonder what her real intentions were when inviting soobin over.

"im quite respected," he says simply, still looking at you as if he's waiting for something. you give him a coy smile, deciding to tease him a little, "well sir, that's an interesting take away."

he smirks, letting out what seems to be a satisfied sigh. he turns to your mom, "is it alright if i have a glass of wine or something? my throat is a little dry from barking out orders all day."

your mom obligates to his request, attracted to the idea that this man was a hardworking businessman. you knew your mom would go find the most aged wine for him because she liked to show out for guests. especially guests that looked as fine as soobin. you also knew it would take her a while to find said wine, keeping it locked away for special occasions.

"y/n keep our guest company," she told you. you happily accepted that offer. yeah, you’ll keep him company alright.

now that you were alone with soobin you wasted no time in playing into his apparent attraction towards you. you open your legs slightly to lean forward on your hands which were situated between them. you saw his eyes flit down to your breast which were squished together due to your actions.

"so sir," you say innocently as if you aren't giving him a little show. "do you have a wife or children?" he shifts in his seat a bit, widening his legs in the process. you swear you can see a slight bulge in his pants if you squint. oh, so he's big.

he laughs at your question, "i don't have a wife, im divorced and yes i do have a son." your eyes widen only slightly. frankly, the thought of him having a son doesn't bother you in the slightest. you decide to ask him how old his son is for conversation purposes.

he hums lowly, "he's 18....how old are you?" you're surprised your mom hadn't told him your age. she probably thought it wasn't information she deemed was necessary for him to know.

"im legal," you say with a smile. he smiles at that and you swear your pussy twitches. he's so attractive and he's barely done a thing! you stare at his crotch while his leg bounces and you can only shamelessly imagine yourself bouncing on his cock.

you wonder how big is. he looks tall as hell so that gives you some ideas. his legs look to take up almost half his body. god, what would it look like grabbing onto his thighs as he fucks himself into your mouth? you can imagine the tears running down your face and runny nose as you look up at him and he looks down at you with the exact same expression he holds right n-

"that's good to know," his voice cuts through your dirty thoughts. he doesn't even address how you were blatantly staring at his crotch because at this point he doesn't even care. he knows you want him but he'll wait for you to say it. even if you don’t say it today, he knows you’ll say it eventually.

you move your hands and squeeze your legs together. you can already feel yourself dripping at just the thought of this man across from you. he's so close yet so far and the sexual tension is killing you.

you get up from your spot, casually walking up to where he sits. he stares at you curiously wondering what you plan to do. you choose to sit right next to him on the couch. just close enough that if your mom walked through at any moment you could recoil and it wouldn't look suspicious at all.

you don't say a word and you place your hand lightly on his knee, slowly moving it up to his upper thigh. "what are you doing babygirl?"

babygirl? fuck. just the pet name coming from his mouth alone has your breath going shaky. you rub your thighs together in anticipation. "nothing sir," you smile.

his hand is suddenly placed atop of yours and he drags it just above his growing erection. "look at what you're doing baby," he moves his head close your ear.

"you came down here dressed like a little slut, i bet you wanted the attention right?" he asks. "as soon as you saw me you probably couldn't wait to have me fuck the shit out you."

the words he mumbles in your ear have you unconsciously palming his dick through his slacks. "sir.." you whimper. he hums, holding back a moan as you continue palming him at your own accord. his hand is now at your upper thighs slowly inching up.

he placed two of his cold fingers pressing onto your pussy through your shorts. "you're so wet that i can feel it through your shorts. did i do this?" he chuckles, now rubbing up and down slowly. you nod, looking up at him through your lashes. "yes it was all you, sir. all you."

he suddenly pulls away completely from you with a light smile. he also removes your hand from him and leans forward on his knees, his upper body effectively covering his boner. you're confused about his actions and kind of annoyed until you hear your mom call from the hallway, "mr. choi i hope you like this flavor, it's one of my finest!"

"im sure anything you have tastes delicious!" he answers, glancing at you. you shy away from his eyes as your mom walks into the kitchen. since the kitchen is too close to the living room to do anything he whispers to you, "shy now?" he laughs a little bit. "you're too cute y/n."

you wish he'd called you a cute petname right then but you'll take what you can get. he places his hand on your knee and you shiver, remembering his fingers on you just seconds ago.

he removes them once your mom walks into the living room with two glasses of wine, one for him and one for her. they talk for a little while more, and you occasionally chime in but really you're too distracted by soobin. the heat he's radiating is too much to handle plus you're still sitting close enough to see that he's still hard.

it gets late and so the night ends for you three. "my son is probably wondering where i am by now, i should go," he says standing up. your mom agrees and you escort him to the front door while she takes the glasses back to the kitchen.

soobin notices your disappointment at not having finished what you both started on the couch earlier but he leans down to whisper in your ear. his voice sends shivers through your whole body and his hot breath tickles your neck and ear. "don't look so dejected babygirl, this isn't the last time we'll see each other." he kisses your cheek as he ascends back up when your mom meets you both at the door.

"say hello to your son for me! oh and next time bring him over so he can meet y/n," your mom suggests just as he walks out the door. he turns around to look at you both and you can tell he isn't too fond of that idea but he still answers with a polite smile.

"maybe! well i had a nice time maam, i'll be seeing you two around," and with that, he leaves and you simply cannot wait for the next time you'll see mr. choi.

#soobin smut #soobin x reader #txt smut #txt imagines #txt scenarios #soobin scenarios #soobin imagines #choi soobin smut #txt x reader #smut

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oh-for-fic-sake · 4 years

Text

Day At The Races

You find yourself competing with Bruce on the track.

Masterlist

Warnings: Innuendo's, Swearing

A/n have some fluff, hope you enjoyxx

(Not my gif)

Day At The Races

Taglist @125bluemachine125

You took a deep breath as Bruce parked the car in the school parking lot there was tonnes of people walking around all making there way to the field where the days festivities were being held. You leaned back looking at him smiling lightly

"Sweets its fine there isn't any press here its families only." he pulled up a hand placing a kiss to it then your wrist and arm tugging you close trailing kisses along your arm until he placed a kiss on your cheek making you giggle when he nuzzled you rubbing his light scruff on your cheek.

"Hey no beard burn!"

"First time I've heard that seriously tho today will be fine"

"I know but its the first time we've been out since going public.... people are going to watch and judge especially after the other articles..." he sighed running his thumb across your hand he understood he really did the media had blown up about your relationship as expected but some had gone beyond, many had nice things to say but a few had been critical saying that you was the billionaires answer to a midlife crisis and that you'd be out of the picture, soon enough others followed making articles base solely around your age gap calling you a gold digger a whore without saying the word Bruce as promised had his legal team taking them to court on your behalf for slander. Hell one had made you cry as it was so nasty saying vile things interviews with 'child hood friends' who you hadn't even remembered crawled out of the wood work fabricating stories of raunchy sexual escapades and such claiming you was a high paid 'anything goes' escort and that's how you really met Bruce, it had made him so angry he didn't even bother to go to court he bought the magazine outright and stopped the printing sacking half of the company as well as the ceo and editorial managers.

"Just remember I'm with you. I love you and I've got your back we're a team sweets"

"I love you to" you both leaned in kissing each other you got butterflies in your chest as you both pulled away exiting the car you walked around to bruce he took your hand in his locking the car and led you down towards You eyed the people around you, they were watching you judging you. some scoffed you hear whispers from some people about what you were waering, you looked down you didnt think you looked bad. Bruce like you in these leggings well by the way he had pounced on you when you slid them on grabbing and squeezing your ass in them you assumed he had, they were a false matte black leather look you top was a baggy plain whit on the front on the back was a big patch of a cat saying dont be a pussy... probably not the best choice but you felt cute.

You noticed others women eyeing Bruce it was rare for him to be seen out not in a suit or some variation of it ,receiving looks from many of the mothers and older sisters of the students. Not that you could blame them he was in a tight fit black tee and tasteful dark sweats he had come dressed for the dreaded parents race...You never were one for a man in sweats but damn if he didn't look mouthwatering.. if only they were a tad lower, he caught you looking smirking at you then lifted a thumb to the corner of your mouth.

"Your drooling there sweets hold still." you slapped his hand away

"I was not!" he laughed using the opportunity to grasp your offending hand kissing your palm before holding it tight walking to the desk informing them of your arrival as bruce signed you both in you saw many women glaring at you. You pulled back a little from him he noticed giving your hand a squeeze then moved to hold your hip pulling you to walk beside him.

"Ignore them they are just jealous.... an ass like yours would cost them a lot of money." you squeaked as he pinched your bottom.... he seemed obsessed with it today, you was tankful as his antics were taking your mind off of the glances you was receiving.Bruce quickly navigated the crowds with you arriving at the booths made for parents to sign up to participate in some events he grabed a pen and began filling in for the parents races. Each pupil had a number the parents would get a corresponding number to pin to themselves for the race gaining points for their children adding to their total's helping them to win prizes. He passed the pen to you once filling everything in, you bit your lip writing down your name for the mothers race for Jack freezing you hovered the pen above damien's name bruce smiled leaning down he kissed your ear lightly before speaking quietly in your ear so close you could feel his breath.

"You'd run for him?" you nodded still debating if it was a good idea, it was your first semi public apperance you didnt want to rock the boat.

"Yes... I want to but....It could cause an uproar people could make assumptions." he stood behind you still holding your hip in one hand the other coverd your hand holding the pen making a tick mark beside his sons name kissing the back of your neck.

"Fuck them you want to run the mothers race for my son do it... and I'll run the dads for Jack."he said letting you put down your name before taking back the pen doing the same for jack.

"and I hope to meet you in the winners race."

"Something tells me you'd throw it just to see my ass" he grunted at you

"Nope I always win these things I wouldn't throw them for anything and besides I don't have to throw a race to look at it, I'll look at it when I damn well please, as is my right" you chuckled at him shaking your head

"What ever you say boss man" before being interupted by someone clearing there throat. You both turned to see a barbie who had obviously rearranged herself pulling the tops of her expensive tits out of the yoga top hanging out obscenely trying to gain his attention. You rolled your eyes as a blonde came up behind you both a sultry look fluttering her eyelashes at your man.

"Can I please?" she said motioning to the pen in Bruce's hand her eye scanning him from head to toe licking his lips. He smiled politely handing it to her you scowled at her.

"Of course come on love" he said leading you away you looked down a little.

"Dont let it get to you sweets. They will try, they will always try love"

"I know dosent mean I have to like it tho....Its just hard and I'm trying to behave for your sake. I cant exactly call her out and smack the shit out of her" he grunted twitching in his sweats rearranging himself

"Not if you don't want to be caught being railed on the field no"

"Bruce! are you always thinking about sex? seriously were in a school"

you shouted laughing pushing him lightly as he laughed pulling you back ton him placing you in front as he walked resting his chin on your shoulder whispering huskily into your ear.

"Well this is where me met.... its on my list"

"No!. Do not even go there with your stupid fucking list"

"Don't knock the list...You could have one if you want...I'm sure we could find a way to sneak away for five minutes or so, we could try Mr Kolemans office"

"Oh? and when do you ever finish in five minutes?" he shrugged sending you cheeky look

"Just because I haven't doesn't mean I cant" you shook you head rolling your eyes at him. You quickly noticed the blond from earlier was sticking close the the both of you, Bruce had noticed but kept quiet ignoring her as you made your way across to the boys events. You grunted as she tailed you all the way down the field even as you both sat on the grass you sat between Bruce's legs he pulled you close making a point to touch and hold you. She was always trying to be in sight of Bruce twirling her hair and fluttering her eyes at one point bending over in front of him wiggling her boney ass. You seethed knowing what she was doing but unable say anything.

"You know...You could say something...I really wouldn't mind..Quite the opposite I would enjoy having you get all territorial just a quick snap? growl? anything?" you rolled your eyes as he began grinding against you making sure you felt just how much he would enjoy it

"Bruce behave youself!!"you slapped his thigh making him grunt and hiss leaning forward capturing your ear between his teeth suckling your lobe

"Go oonn you know you want to, do it for me?" he continued kissing down your neck you flushed as she scoffed as Bruce sucked a new mark onto your neck. You would not start a cat fight over Bruce, not that you didn't want to fight for him just that you didn't need to. He was yours. But it didn't mean you wasn't self conscious as the slim woman tried to gain his attention. Tho he made himself quite clear with his little display just who it was he desired. You shook your head trying to rise above her pettiness. Spotting the boys you waved then pointed them out to Bruce who was now satisfied with his fresh mark pulled away with a soft kiss. Jack and Damien sat across from you, Jack waved back then nudged Damien who smiled nodding to you. First was the throwing events then we moved to the jumps.

"Whats Damien doing?"

"He is doing high jump he is band from long jump."

"What? why?"

"He... clears the sand.... by quite a bit so he cant do it now, the others cant compete with him"

"That doesn't sound fair being banned for being good at it" he sighed.

"And he was holding back"

"Wow so he's and agile little bugger then"

"Heh you have no idea" you both watched the kids participate in their events moving across the field. Throughout the day you saw a pattern Damien was top across the board. In every single event he did. The boy didn't even break a sweat as he was leaving all of the others in the dust, you got the distinct feeling he was holding back. Especially as you saw Bruce motion for him to slow down.

"Bruce what the fuck! your sons a beast how the fuck can he do that im pretty sure he just broke a world record?" you cried as he won the hurdles a good 50 seconds before Jack came in second place. you pulled out your phone to do a google search on hurdle world records Bruce sighed running a hand across the back of his neck.

"...Well he likes fitness and sports I may have updated the manor's gym for him" you snapped your head to him.

"Hang on whoa a gym? where the hell have you hid a gym?" he faltered which was unlike him before quickly snapping out of it stuttering.

"Err well it's-its at the back in the old part,its not fully finished I don't want you going in there it has potentially dangerous equipment in there, professional stuff you need to be taught how to use them." you nodded unconvinced before hearing an anouncement.

"All parents participating in the parental race please come and collect your numbers" Bruce stood helping you up. You both walked to the table collecting the numbers 345 jack 352 for Damien pinning them to your tee shirts ,the fathers race was first you pulled Bruce in for a sweet kiss which he promptly tried deepening wrapping himself aroung you you giggle pulling back as he moved to kiss down your neck, you glowed red as the other parents watch out right some of the women were scoffing. You cupped his face.

"Good luck babe kick ass" he smiled kissing your lips again

"You to" he said before taking position on the start line you was awestruck as you watched him dominate the race, what ever Bruce had said about Damien in the gym was bullshit, it was genetics, pure dna it had to be as Bruce quickly made his way out front and stayed there he was miles away from the others you cheered as he made it across the finish line. Smiled Standing tall as the other runners crouched over panting some heaving there faces purple. You took your place on the starting line noting that blondy was in the line up doing some bullshit yoga stretches drawing attention to herself, although you was on the larger side than the other women you was confident. In school you had been on the track team, not only that this was Gotham being able to run was a survival skill that most of these women didn't need to master in their gilded castles. You crouched looking down the track taking a slow breath flexing the muscles in your legs warming them with extra blood flow as the others got in position. The teacher counted down and you were off you stayed near the back pacing yourself letting the others wear themselves out before going in for the win, as predicted the others all took off in a full sprint loosing steam quickly. Half way down the track you took it up a notch sprinting slowly building up to full speed passing the women one by one hearing the curses and gasps as you took the lead even then you pushed on breaking away further and further finally crossing the finish line Bruce high fived you.

"Where the hell did that come from?"

"Track team, you never start with sprinting." he shook his head now the top three of each would race one another you noticed with glee that blondy hadn't made it through, she maybe skinny but you were fitter and you couldn't help being smug. You all lined up looking to Bruce you don't care about beat the others just him but you had no hope in winning against him outright so would have to try some underhanded tactics smiling slyly.

"Hey babe?" you bent over a little wiggling your ass he glanced at you wetting his lips eyeing your bent over form as the teacher to position starting to count down.

"Yeah"

"Is it obvious I'm not wearing anything underneath these?" you said pulling on your leggings he gasped standing up quickly turning to look at your ass.

"You what?!" you laughed running as the race began Bruce missing the call swore quickly following a few seconds you as you took a healthy lead the others now tired from the previous race, you glanced behind you seeing him quickly gaining on you, not even in his lane he'd merged into yours and he looked determined but his eyes were glued to you ass,

"Just you wait!" he shouted out to you squealing you pushed harder trying to stay ahead of him laughing unable to stop yourself from tucking your ass below you as you heard his heavy steps just behind you fully expecting him to grab you.

"No! Bruce! I'm sorry!" you shouted as he was practically on top of you as you crossed the finish line

"Sorry?! you get your ass here!!" but you didn't stop dodging him for a few more moments, in that moment you didn't care about the damn race you screamed as he finally caught you around the waist lifting you up crushing you against him.

"That was really a really dirty trick woman" he said you laughed he placed you down in front him your back to him then smoothed his hands across your ass raking his fingers up and down before giving you a quick spank you flushed knowing full well no matter how discreet he was trying to be someone was bound to have seen that.

"You little tease!" he growled once he felt the the seam of your underwear he moved hugging you from behind pulling you back grinding into your ass lightly.

"Just you wait until I get you to the car" you mewled at the threat rubbing back against him feeling his significant bulge pressing insistently at your ass

"Is that a promise Mr Wayne?" he groaned into your neck. Turning you saw that you had indeed come first gaining both boys extra points.

"Ha I won!!" you laughed

"Yes you won, but at what cost?" you froze turning to look at him wide eyed

"Cost? what do you mean cost? Bruce?" he just laughed pulling away from you as he waved over at the boys both of them shrinking into their shoulders at the public display you'd given everyone. He walked over to the table to hand in his numbers you followed at a safe distance

"Bruce? What cost? hey! don't ignore me!" He did tho chuckling to himself deciding to let your mind dwell on what could be in store for you.

#bruce wayne imagine #batmom imagines #batman x y/n #bruce wayne x reader #bruce wayne x y/n #dc x y/n #dc x reader #dc x you #bruce wayne x you #bruce wayne x batmom #batman x reader

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zodiyack · 4 years

Text

Cautious

Requested by anon: Honestly just in need of more Richard content, he’s too underrated 😭 so ig if you could just do something angsty where he meets the reader for the first time but feels like need to push her away and treat her like he treated Jonas at first but eventually they are warming up to each other and he starts to tell her how he feels about her and honestly idk how to continue so its up to you 😭 im just in need for some Richard content whenever you have the time 💞 💞

Pairing: Richard x Female!Reader

Warnings: Slight angst, fluff

Words: 1,846

Note: Okay so like slight inspiration from Babydoll’s crying scene in Sucker Punch, and I listened to Asleep and Where Is My Mind (Sucker Punch OST Versions) while writing so those are some recommendations of mine 😅

Taglist: @matth1w, @redspaceace, @darling-i-read-it, @fandom-puff

Masterlist | Cody Fern Masterlist

Ever since Jonah was discharged, Richard had gone back to how he was before. No one was there to help him. With anything. So what was the point of trying? What was the point if it would be the same every time? He built his barrier back up, blocking out everyone.

So when a new girl arrived, no one was surprised at the thought that he would shut her out as well. She didn’t even notice him until her second day. Walking over to the chairs and tv, Y/n stretched her arms up with a yawn. She looked around, studying the people who were up already.

It was odd, she could admit, but it was one of her favorite things to do. Just, observe people. See what their expressions said when their words were blocked out by the sound around her. However, this little activity of hers caused her to stumble upon the one and only, Richard.

She found that he interested her beyond anything or anyone ever had. Entranced with him, she made her way to the armchair he sat in. “Hi. I’m Y/n.”

He didn’t move. Didn’t blink. Didn’t respond. Didn’t even look at her. Something in her felt hurt by this. Y/n felt agitated with the fact that he was ignoring her.

Shifting on her feet, she tried again. “Uhm... What’s your name?”

“It’s no use.” A girl on the floor mumbled, eyes never leaving the tv. “He’s like a mute. Only, he can talk...just chooses not to. Ever since Jonah left, he kinda...”

“Who’s Jonah?” Y/n turned to face the girl, walking over and sitting beside her. Her interest in Richard became interest in Jonah, interest in Richard’s past.

They talked for a while, the girl explained how Jonah was the asshole of the place, how he had begun to grow kinder as he hung out with Richard, how they’d been caught in bed together. It took Y/n by surprise, her eyes immediately finding Richard, but the girl laughed and told her that her “dirty mind could ease up” as nothing happened.

Y/n made it her mission to warm up to Richard. She continued to watch him, allowing her eyes to see every detail about him, even the ones he probably never noticed. That was one of the many things about being a “people watcher”. She could notice the unnoticed.

One day, she finally broke through his barrier; just not in the way she wanted.

“What is wrong with you?!” He’d pushed past her in the hallway, ignoring the call of his name until she snapped. “You don’t talk, you don’t acknowledge, you don’t even blink! I try, like really try, to be your friend but you-”

“Maybe I don’t want friends.”

“Well- I- ...Jonah was your friend.”

By the fact that Richard stumbled, hesitating with his words for a moment, Y/n could tell that she’d caught him off guard. “Don’t talk about him.”

“He was a dick. He was a dick until he became your friend. So why do you just let a guy like that into your life but you won’t let a girl, who genuinely wants to be your friend, anywhere into your social life?”

Richard backed her into a wall, glaring at her as she bent her knees, cowering with wide eyes. “Don’t. Talk. About. Him.”

“I’m not scared of you.” To prove her words, she took a sharp inhale of air before standing up fully, furrowing her eyebrows and swallowing. “I want to be your friend. I get that you may not be used to that, but please. All I’m asking is that you give me a chance.”

He stopped. His eyes darted around the room, a tell that he was thinking. “Okay. I’ll give you a chance.” With his final words, he left the hall, leaving her alone under the flickering light.

His chance wasn’t as much of a chance as Y/n liked. All he really did was allow her to sit by him and exchange hellos or good mornings. It wasn’t much, but it was progress. And progress was what would lead to the goal.

But the progress was stuck at the same spot, proving that his chance really wasn’t a chance.

Richard walked past the bathrooms, headed for the men’s. That’s when he heard it. Distinct sobbing from the women’s. He knew he shouldn’t be in there, but he went anyways, brows scrunched with concern and confusion. Normally, he wouldn’t think twice; but it was late, he was too tired to shut out his emotions, and he couldn’t help but feel empathy for the mystery person.

Opening the door slowly, as to not scare the person, he walked in. Surprise met his features when his eyes came across Y/n, practically huddled up in a ball on the bathroom floor. One of her knees was up, in front of her chest, and the other was lying flat on the floor. One of her arms ran through her hair as the other laid limp by her side.

Richard didn’t talk. He just walked over, sat next to her, exchanged eye contact with the puffy eyed girl and pulled her in his chest as tight as he could. She cried into his shoulder, holding him to herself just as tight as he held her. They stayed like that for awhile, just holding each other as Y/n cried.

When the time came, she pulled away and wiped her eyes. “Thank you, Richard.”

“You’re welcome...”

They had a rendezvous every night, Richard sneaking into the women’s bathroom and holding her close to him as her shoulders heaved, tears streaming down her face and wetting his night-shirt.

Their relationship outside the bathroom was the pretty much the same as it had been prior to his late night discovery. The same greetings and silence. The same everything... but one thing had definitely changed. Richard allowed Y/n to get closer to him, as she wanted, and said goodbyes and goodnights, exchanging smiles and slight lingering eye contact.

Despite their public life being shy, their bathroom-meet ups had grown into something...beautiful.

There was a night where Y/n couldn’t sleep, as usual, but felt like a drained battery. So, Richard extended his legs and patted his thighs,

“You can sleep, I’ll keep watch.”

“But- ...For what?”

“Workers, other people...monsters.” He smiled teasingly, ignoring his own demons subconsciously.

And that night, as his hand rubbed the top of her head soothingly, he swore he felt his heart stop.

He looked at her, furrowing his eyebrows and inhaling shakily. There was just something about her. Something he was just now noticing as he scanned her sleeping face. She turned slightly, breathing strangely- rushed.

Richard recognized the breathing pattern as a nightmare, tears of his own rushing down his cheeks as he pulled her close to him. Staring at the wall, he smiled to himself.

Then there was the night she noticed something herself.

Eyes trained on the smallest divots of the floor, her head resting on Richard’s shoulder as his rested on hers- she knew it.

She leaned closer to him, tears flooding her face again. Only, this time, they were tears of joy. Content. Love. Thinking he was asleep, guessing by the calmed breathing leaving his lips and the stillness of his body, she laughed to herself softly.

“What have you done to me, you quiet bastard?”

Richard was conscious though. And it brought a smile to his lips that he tried to fight back. Luckily, with the redness of his cheeks, it also gave him a goal of his own. Flashbacks of the night he realized his feelings for her zipped in and out of his head.

“Y/n?”

“Yeah?”

This was the night he’d do it. The red in her eyes was slowly fading; Richard had shown up earlier tonight and calmed her down, hugging her until he told himself to stop being a chicken.

But he couldn’t do it. His eyes met hers, mouth opening to confess- but he couldn’t do it. They drifted back to the floor. He didn’t have the confidence nor the faith that she’d say yes. Richard, knowing he couldn’t chicken out, not after weeks of preparing himself, took a deep breath. Then he did it.

Eyes slowly meeting hers again,

“Richard? What were you going to-”

He lunged in and kissed her. His hand gripped the back of her head as their lips moved in synch. Surprise ran through him as she kissed back; her hands combing through his locks and holding him close to her.

They pulled away, chest heaving as their lungs roped oxygen back into their bodies.

Y/n touched her lips, her eyes flicking back up to his as her mouth formed a smile and a giggle escaped it. Richard chuckled along, a slight nervousness coursing through the adrenaline rush, which he could thank their kiss for.

They stopped laughing and avoided eye contact with each other. An awkward tension, new to the two, formed between them. Richard felt responsible for it, as he was the one who initiated the kiss. “I’m sor-”

All of his worries were shot down when she pushed her lips back into his.

Richard may not have been great with words, but his feelings were known by Y/n. Soon enough, their bathroom progress turned into public progress.

Sometimes Y/n in front of his chair, by his feet, or on his lap as they watched tv. Sometimes Y/n would be found in Richard’s room, either cuddling or giggling as he tickled her, or drew her, or as he or she drew on the other while they listened to music- just whatever “cute couple” kind of things they could do.

Their nightly meetups were ongoing. Most of the time it was in the bathroom, but there were times when Richard snuck Y/n into his room. He often was the big spoon, but when the nightmares came despite her presence, she turned and got him to turn as well, promoting herself from small spoon.

But the time they feared came.

She was talked to by one of the staff members, told she was able to leave now. Her heart told her to make a choice, and when she was pulled into a hug, arms wrapped around her torso as the person pulled her onto their lap and allowing her to see her boyfriend’s face, she decided to do it.

Just as everyone thought the clinic was about to discharge her, Richard sitting in his chair and looking around with confusion, she walked back into the room and plopped into her boyfriends lap.

“Where were you? They- they said you were le-”

She pecked his lips before snatching the remote and clicking through the channels. “Nah. They’re not gonna get rid of me that easily.” Y/n smiled, feeling Richard, lips formed in a smile of his own, kiss the back of her head. A silent thank you, I love you, and response all at the same time.

Once again, someone had finally broken the barrier of the quiet, cautious boy. And he was grateful.

#richard x reader #cody fern x reader #the last time i saw richard x reader #the last time i saw richard #richard #cody fern #tltisr #tltisr x reader #the last time i saw richard imagine #the last time i saw richard reader insert #tltisr imagine #tltisr reader insert #reader insert #x reader #all readers #zodiyack #got carried away pt 2 #i didn't know how to end it #also sorry if it sucks

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cake-in-a-tin · 3 years

Text

this is for @silversickles‘ wolfstar minifest, and the day 2 prompt - detention. sorry this got a bit long, haha. hope you like it! Remus couldn't believe he’d gotten a detention. Like come on. He hadn't been doing that much wrong. Well, maybe he had but that wasn't the point. The point was that Severus Snape was for it next time Remu saw him, because boy oh boy was he going to pay. And on top of that, Sirius was gonna be in detention as well. Could it get any worse?

Any worse than what, some people might have been wondering if they had been transported to Remus’ thoughts at that moment. Any worse than being stuck in a room with your crush, who also happens to be your best friend, for an hour and a half, that's what. Any worse than having been avoiding said crush because when you were around him you couldn't actually form coherent sentences.

As it turned out, it could get worse. “Right in here boys, you will be sorting through the files of bad behaviour, something that has to be done at least once every fifteen years.” Filch sneered. “One day, maybe someone will be looking through files about you. Think about how much work you’ve given them, eh.”

A tiny storage cupboard. Of course. Of fucking course. Remus sighed and braced himself for the awkwardness that was sure to come. He was bad enough while he was around people he was just friends with, barely able to hold a conversation without becoming too self conscious, so how was he meant to deal with keeping up a conversation with Sirius fucking Black. Especially in close proximity.

“This is bloody ridiculous.” Sirius was complaining, while loosening his tie in a way that infuriated Remus. Why should he be allowed to do that. Why should Sirius be allowed to unbutton the first three buttons of his shirt. It was bloody unfair, because if remus ever dared try something like that he'd get called a wanker, but of course all the girls were fawning over Sirius. Made the prospects of him liking Remus back even slimmer. Who in their right minds would like him, a bloke, when there were dozens of girls willing to be with them. Nobody was the answer to that question. Absolutely nobody.

Sighing again (a lot of sighing was going to take place this evening, Remus could tell) he pulled open a drawer and started to flick through the many reports of misbehaviour from the past years at Hogwarts. Remus was honestly relieved that Siirus wasn't trying to make small talk, he couldn't deal with that at the moment.

Around fifteen minutes later the two boys were startled by the door to the storage room banging shut and the distinct sound of a key turning in a lock came from outside.

“Hey!” Remus yelled, and peered out the small window at the top of the door, where he could just see Snape's greasy head disappearing around the corner.

“Snape, that fucking asshole.” he growled under his breath. “I’m gonna get him for this jesus christ.”

After a quick try of alohomora, which didn't work, Remus remembered that all rooms with confidential things inside were only unlocked by a specific enchanted key. A key that Snape seemed to have. He swore under his breath.

Sirius was being unusually quiet, and Remus looked round at him. He was shocked to see him curled up against the cabinets, taking quick, uneven breaths.

“Sirius? Are you alright?” Remus could make out Sirius quickly shaking his head in the dim light, and knelt down next to him. Unsure of quite what to do, he rested his hand on the other boy's shoulder.

“You need to take deep breaths, okay? Slowly, with me...” Remus started taking slow, deep breaths, trying to keep calm himself, and act as though there was nothing wrong, or at least, as though he wasn't too worried, so Sirius wasn't worried about him. After a couple of minutes of deep breathing, Sirius seemed to manage to slow his breaths down, but he was still shaking slightly. Remus, who still had his hand placed firmly on the other boy’s shoulder, gave him what he hoped was a soothing rub on said shoulder. Sirius, to his surprise, leaned into his side, so he quickly moved his other arm up, to hug him, and try and stop the trembling.

“I’m so sorry about that, Remus,” Sirius murmured.

“Dont you dare fucking apologise Pads, I just wanna make sure youre okay.” Remus moved his head so he was looking right in Sirius’ shining eyes, which were red from crying. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah… I think so. I mean…shit. It's never been quite as bad before.”Sirius was very quiet, almost mumbling.

“You mean, this has happened before? Siri, you know you can talk to me about anything.” Sirius let out a watery chuckle.

“Your dont wanna listen to this Re, trust me.”

“I do. And i'm not gonna judge you. I just wanna know what's up. It hurts so bad knowing that you're in pain and you aren't telling me. I don't think you quite grasp how much you mean to me Pads. Seriously - do not make the joke - you are the most important person in my life right now, and i can't bear to see you struggling like that. So please just talk to me.” Remus took a deep breath. Had he really just said that stuff out loud to Sirius’ face? If he laughed- oh god, Remus didn't think he would be able to handle that, he’d probably just die of embarrassment on the floor.

“It's just - this reminds me of my mother's punishments.” Sirius was speaking. Quietly, yes, but he was confiding in Remus. “She’s been especially bad this summer. I’ve been trying to take most of the blame, because i can't bear to see Reggie hurt, but the easiest way for her to get to me is just locking me in the wardrobe upstairs. I spent hours in there Re. Sometimes a day or more.” He took a deep shuddering breath, and Remus just pulled him tighter to his side, silently fuming at Walburga Black. “I felt like I couldn't breathe in there. It was pitch black, and of course I couldn't use my wand to make light. I couldn't eat either.

“Then today when snape locked us in (fuck him by the way), it just felt like it was her doing it all over again. Oh jesus bloody christ you dont wanna hear my fucking sob stories, im sorry Re. I just needed to get this off my chest.”

Sirius visibly relaxed against Remus after he'd said all this, who rested his cheek on the shorter boy’s dark hair.

“What did I say before? Dont fucking apologise. You don't deserve any of that stuff. I’m going to kill your mother next time i see her, you're gonna have to keep a firm grip on me.” Sirius laughed at this.

The two boys sat in comfortable silence, taking deep breaths together, still in sync, like two halves of one person, connected in some way. The dark surrounded them, but unlike before, it wasn't tearing at them, or confining them. It was just there, co existing with them.

“Hey Re?”

“Mmhm?”

“You mean a lot to me as well.” Remus’ heart skipped a couple of beats. Sure Sirius probably meant this as in friendship terms, but still…

“Sorry?”

“You said earlier that I mean a lot to you, and i wanted to tell you that you mean a lot to me too.” If this was one of the muggle books Renys had been reading recently, this would be the point where he and Sirius confessed their undying love for each other and made out until the chapter ended. But this wasn't one of those books, this was real life. Sirius had just had some sort of anxiety attack, and they were locked in a storage cupboard for Gods’ sake. Plus, Remus was perfectly content just sitting in the dark, head resting on Sirius’ until someone came and found them.

#silversicklesminifest #wolfstar #fanfic #detention #tw panic attack

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reeesea · 4 years

Text

Something Sweet: Part Three

~sweet beginnings~

one ~ two ~ three ~ four ~ five ~ six ~ seven ~ eight ~ nine

pairing: minsung, jisung/minho

warning: mild language

words: 2.5k ish

summary: sweet beginnings and small apartments, also Seungmin baby shows up

a/n: Im honestly just proud of myself for posting a third chapter woo!! lemme know if you read and enjoyed <3

also the spacing got wack trying to do the text convos, so hope the bold and non bold isn't too gross to look at. Minho and Jisung

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Minho wakes up to the sun streaming in through the thinly veiled curtains over his window. Thankfully he woke up to a minimal headache in spite of having gone out to the bar and an impromptu concert the night before. Rolling over in his small twin sized bed he reached for his phone to check the time and any potentially important notifications.

9:26 am

[ 2 new messages from Rich Boy Han Jisung ]

Minho finds himself smiling at the new messages from the boy that had stumbled upon him last night.

2:25 am

Youre right I do hear it all the time

but it sounds pretty sweet coming from you ;}

I'll tell J.One you thought he was amazing

9:28 am

Careful Han, your cockiness is showing

Jisungs’s cocky demeanor does nothing but make him more endearing to the older, but something gave Minho the impression that the boy already knew this. Not expecting a reply from the other this early in the morning, Minho stretched out of bed and made his way out of his small bedroom and quietly to the shared bathroom. Not a small feat in the old apartment shared by him and his roommates. Creaky floorboards, squeaky doors, and over all close proximity to each other makes being quietly courteous in the morning a frequent challenge for the boys.

The living room at the end of the small hallway was turned into a shared bedroom for Minho's two roommates. Felix’s mattress had gotten a bed frame from some trading website a few months back when he moved in. The makeshift wall of hung shower curtains and a fold out screen gave the boys the illusion of privacy between their respective sides of the room. Even though more times than not, Minho has come home to find the lanky brunette curled up in Felix's bed instead of on his designated couch.

Climbing over the piles of the boys’ clothes, Minho makes it to the bathroom without disturbing the other two. The two were still passed out from working their night shifts, draped over each other on the freckled boy’s bed. Neither showed signs of awakening any time in the morning hours. Minho showered quickly and changed in order to make his way out of the apartment and on his way to the studio to practice his Saturday away

Minho would have thought that the both of them would have remained in their university dorms for the summer, if they weren’t able to find apartments on their own. But, at some point after he had graduated, he had gained himself plus two of his underclassmen as roommates. He really couldn't complain though, it all made sense as all three of them were a part of the same dance studio, barely a block away, and all had reasons to be saving money. Paying a fraction of rent really helped with all that had to be saved in order to pay for school, studio fees, living, breathing, and most importantly audition fees.

As the summer had set in, so had the wave of audition opportunities for companies and crews. Felix had mentioned needing to prepare a video audition last week for a few entertainment companies in the area. Hyunjin was busy trying to save up his money to pay for the upcoming semesters at school to graduate like Minho had.

Entering the practice room and being welcomed by the distinctive scent of a dance studio was enough to bring Minho back to reality. Since graduating, he had been stuck in his thoughts about what to do with his future a lot. His childhood dreams of getting into the prestigious Yellow Wood Dance Academy seemed to slip farther away from him with every passing year. His audition tapes each year during university were almost always sent back, along with a ‘We are sorry to inform you…’

It’s not like Minho couldn't keep applying, but with every year the rejection stung a little bit more, and he wasn't sure if he would be able to take another blow. No matter how confident Minho acted about his looks, when it came to dancing his ego was glass fragile. His passion for dance sometimes felt like the only thing that kept him standing, but it had been a while since he had felt rewarded for his dedication. Even when his practically broken dream haunted him a little too much, focusing back to his craft really gave him a better grasp on reality. Making his way to the front of the room to plug in his phone to pick music, a new notification popped up.

[Rich Boy Han Jisung]

10:03am

dw dw its all fake i assure you, all just a ploy to get you to like me

What you up to on this fineee saturday mornin??

Hmmm wouldnt you like to know

i only tell boys i like so...

Minho smiled in spite of himself. Even over text the sparkly eyed boy was able to pull out and dust off his genuine smile. It had definitely been a while since Minho had found himself freely smiling, but here comes Han Jisung crash landing into his life, running amuck. After spending a moment debating whether or not just to tell the younger of his activities anyway, he came to the conclusion that mentioning dance would only result in more questions, and Minho really wasn't feeling like spilling his passions and dreams with the other already.

Haha i am only even more motivated now >:D

Dont strain yourself too much with that,

im just enjoying my saturday before my shift later.

Queuing up some music Minho migrated to the middle of the room to casually freestyle and warm up for the day. Allowing the music to flood his ears, movements to take over his limbs, and only his feet to remind him of where he was, Minho’s mind went blank as he began to relax and give up control of his body to the steady beats of the song.

---

By the time Minho wrapped up his practice and was heading home the sun was already starting to settle on the lower half of the sky. Surprisingly the day had passed him by quickly. Spending the whole day grinding out a routine he had been recently working to perfect was not usually an overall fun time, but Minho found that he was able to keep his practice productive and enjoyable.

His smile throughout the day certainly had nothing to do with his breaks to text to Jisung. The casual banter between them felt natural, and the light conversation made him feel lighter on his feet as he moved across the floor. Even with the flirty nature of their introduction, their conversation never steered far from how anyone would expect two close friends to interact. Minho found himself smiling more throughout the day as he checked Jisung’s messages throughout the morning and afternoon.

12:25 pm

Also for the record my capacity to flirt is honestly quite unimpressive

I hope you aren’t talking to me for my stage charisma and charm

To sweep you off you feet, i may be a disappointment

Usually i'm just awkward, cant flirt, doesnt leave the house, Jisung

You almost tripped over your feet walking into the bar last night

Dw im not sure id want you to sweep me off my feet with that balance

You wound me ;--;

By talking to Jisung, he had somehow managed to satisfy all of Minho’s previous curiosities while sparking new ones. Even with Minho generally avoiding giving away his own personal interests and dreams, Jisung didn't hold those same reservations and filled their conversation with “fun facts” and lively stories. Jisung’s lively play by play of the bickering taking place between his group mates, now officially introduced as Chan and Changbin, had Minho giggling on the floor of the practice room. The way Jisung described everything brought it to life in ways that he hadn’t expected from a casual text conversation. The boy was definitely a great storyteller even just over type, and Minho found himself wondering if he would get to hear his endless stories in person.

---

[Rich Boy Han Jisung]

3:36 pm

Youre one interesting man Lee Minho

Han, you know almost nothing about me

On the contrary I feel like I know a good amount

Youre name is Lee Minho

You work at the fancy restaurant Menu 98

You used to work at the bar we were at last night

You have a really beautiful smile

…

Are you quite done

Definitely not but if i start going off about how stunning your eyes are

you might block me

Which would be a shame please dont

What happened to awkward Jisung who cant flirt huh?

Minho returned to the small apartment to find Felix attempting to cook some ramen in the microscopic kitchen and Hyunjin sprawled across the couch watching some variety show. Felix was probably fueling up in order to spend the night gaming the weekend away before his work overtook his weekdays again. Hyunjin barely looked to be conscious but still managed to wave a greeting to Minho as he walked into the room.

“How’d practice go?”

“Pretty well. Finally was able to clean up that middle section I’ve been messing up.” Minho hurried into the other room to shower once again before heading to the restaurant for his evening shift.

“Oh glad to hear it.” Felix’s voice filtered in from his place by the stove that was shoved in a corner of the room, along with a fridge and a sink that barely classified it as a kitchen unit. None of the three were complaining, the stove heated up their ramen water and the fridge kept their milk cold, what more could they ask for?

“WAIT, did you talk to that guy at the bar last night???” Hyunjin’s loud voice carried from the couch through their thin walls allowing Minho to clearly hear even if his bedroom door was closed.

“Which one, Jinnie?? You gotta be more clear than that.” Minho had actually stacked up a few numbers from his night and received atleast ten free drinks from other patrons. Not too bad for the first night out, but of course the only phone number he had bothered messaging happened to be the one he had been texting all day.

“You know the one, the rapper one you left to go see perform.” Minho of course knew, but he wasn't gonna admit it to his roommate so easily, and just hummed in response eliciting a groan from the younger.

“If you haven’t, you so should. 3racha is all everyone from the bar is talking about. Their concert must have been a big deal or something.”

“WHAT, 3RACHA? You have got to be fucking kidding me.” Felix, apparently a fan, shuffles in with his ramen in hand to accompany the loud outburst.

“Hyung! One of them gave you their number?? They’re literally like the next big thing in the music scene. Which one of them was it?”

J.One, Han Jisung, the cute pink hoodie guy

“His name is Jisung I’m pretty sure.” Minho was very sure. “I didnt know they were such a big deal”

“J.One gave you his number? Damn hyung, you don't even know. They’ve been performing locally for years but their fan base has grown a ton in the last year. There’s rumors that they've signed with a company and are going to come out with something soon.” Felix continued spouting off information on the group to them, as Minho continued his routine of preparing for work at Menu 98.

---

[Rich Boy Han Jisung]

4:35 pm

Looks like my roommate is a fan of you guys

We’re not talking the tall beautiful bartender from last night right

No that was Hyunjin, Felix is the fan

beautiful?

Ah atleast ill be on the good side of one of ur roomies

Yeah tall boy was pretty, but something about him made me think he didnt like me

I think it was his face, and his height

Most tall pretty boys dont take too well to a squirrel boy being in their territory ya know.

Whats not to like about a cute squirrel boy

Im sure he likes you and youre over thinking

If his two roommates like you, he’ll have to like you by association

Did Lee Minho just admit to liking me

Wow the development, less than 24 hours

We love to see it

Your ridiculous

I said nothing of the sort

Sure sure hyung

Gtg now, dinner shifts starting

Have fun at work!!!!

(wait can i call you hyung???)

Minho left him on read as he walked into the restaurant, already bustling with waiters and the changing of shifts for the dinner crowd. ‘Less than 24 hours’ and Minho was already admitting indirectly that he liked the boy he had only just properly met the night before. Stranger things have happened he supposed. Minho continued to surprise himself with this one though. He was not one to seek out friendships or relationships. Anything more than the very occasional one night stand, was practically void from Minho’s social life. Other than the people he had met through dance and his roommates, there were very few others that Minho had chosen to form any kind of relationship with. Even his co-workers were mostly just faces and names he had to remember in order to do his job well.

Well, expect Seungmin.

“You look awfully happy today, who spiked your coffee this morning?” Seungmin had been a newly inserted character in Minho’s life but they became fast friends after a few too many late night shifts without proper caffeination.

Seungmin had been a newly hired host at Menu 98, just the average polite university student with enough experience to get hired. When Minho met him they exchanged the basic pleasantries and thought that would be the end of that, until one fated closing shift. A certain, tipsy, entitled, rich, high class asshole of a customer had held up Minho’s section for much of the night. Minho found himself being bossed around and verbally berated throughout the night, trying to serve the women who appeared to never be satisfied with the food or service Minho was offering. By the end of the night, she was their last customer and Minho saw her to the front to pay. His customer service smile, strained and barely holding up, and the woman’s complaints, even while paying, had him wanting to drop all his pleasantries and curse her out as she waltzed out the door.

“What an absolute fucking pain in the ass of a woman”

Minho hadn’t thought he had said his thoughts aloud, but looked up to catch Seungmin, who had let the words come out in hushed tones as he held a sickening polite smile on his face. After that point the two had bonded over various pain in the ass customers and a mutual love for sarcastic backhanded insults. Minho's relationship with Seungmin was probably the closest thing to a friendship that the older had experienced in a while.

“No spiked coffee, sadly”

“Well something’s making your usual sad bitch face smile, so it's gotta be good. Hmm...Meet someone?” Seungmin’s signature puppy eyes were on full display, but not without the signature mischievous glint they always held.

“Well wouldn't you like to know Seungmo~ but me and my usually flawlessly beautiful face got to go charm our way into some extra tips.” Minho gave the boy a gentle pat on his head, that was met with a stubborn pout forming at the younger’s lips.

“You definitely met someone, you usually don't have this much self-confidence so early into the evening.” Minho did nothing but giggle at his comment and made his way to the back room to begin his shift.

------

one ~ two ~ three ~ four ~ five ~ six ~ seven ~ eight ~ nine

#stray kids fic #stray kids #skz #skz fic #minsung #lee minho #han jisung #stray kids han #lee know #jisung #idk what to tag anymore

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idk-my-aesthetic · 5 years

Text

Trapped- lena fic

When Lena was, well not small, as she’d been in a non-aging body most of her existence, but rather new, Magica had cared for her.

Magica had acted like a real guardian, comforting Lena after failed attempts to escape the shadow realm, and telling her stories of Magica’s own adventures.

Magica had even said she wanted them to get a home once they were free, and to be a family. Lena had believed her.

But misinformed people do seem to think the cat toying with its meal is cute, don't they?

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

“I don’t understand.” The nameless shadow said, but she had no voice, and no mouth to speak with. It was like she had thought so loud anyone could have heard her. Perhaps everyone did.

The figure’s, her creator’s, beak twisted, into a smile that she will learn is too bright, too sweet, too kind, and hid things she will wish she had run from right in this moment.

But now she was small and innocent, only in control of her thoughts for mere minutes, and believed it when the figure said:

“I’m your Aunt Magica, dear. And you and me are going to do great things together.”

-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=

hey!! this is a wip fic im eventually gonna put on ao3 but i want it all to be one chap so ig were putting the first one here lol. sry if the formatting is bad i rarly post fics to tumblr and i think it got rid of all my bold and italics :( (i put back what i could tho) anyway please please read kjdsklakldfj

TW for child abuse!!!!

She gained consciousness all at once, overwhelmed by everything surrounding her. All of a sudden she could hear, and see, and feel, and it was awful. She wanted to cry, to scream.

It was the first time she had ever wanted anything.

She had never existed before, never been anything more than a shadow. It felt wrong, like nature itself was rejecting her creation.

And it hurt. Everything was too bright, too loud, too much. She felt like her body was on fire, pain smothering her from everywhere. Her body was melting, she realized, tearing her gaze from the near frozen battle before her to her own figure. Her form was dissolving, dripping from a vaguely duckling like shape to an amorphous blob, the glow of magic thrumming in her center.

She looked back to the fight, the birds moving as if swimming in jello, everything slowed. She watched as a figure was sucked towards a coin, anger written on the figure’s face. Something inside her pinged, and she knew. That was her creator.

She felt some obligation to help, but when she tried to she found she couldn't move, not even twitch the blurry mess of shadows that made up her fingers. What could she have done anyway? She may be sentient, but she was still a shadow, and a deteriorating one at that.

She watched, caught in a horrified trance as her creator was trapped. It seemed like hours to her, watching the woman be slowly sucked into the dime, but was probably only seconds to them. Her creator never looked at her, never acknowledged that she was brought into existence.

When the woman had finally disappeared, the shadow realized all her energy was gone. Did she even have any to begin with? She started to fade, confused and scared even as it happened, and sank into the shadow realm.

-=+=-

“Would you wake up.” A voice asked, sharp and cold. It was phrased like a question, but was so much more than just a command. It was imbued with magic so strong she couldn't have resisted if she tried.

(No matter how hard she tried.)

She had no eyes to open, but sight came to her suddenly. There was a figure standing before her, one she could vaguely recognise, despite the glowing red eyes and inky body. She realized she had a consciousness, her consciousness. It wasn’t like when she first gained a mind, going from nothing to everything. It was like she’d had thoughts of her own since her creation, but lost them when she dissolved, and only regained them at her creator’s command.

“I don’t understand.” The nameless shadow said, but she had no voice, and no mouth to speak with. It was like she had thought so loud anyone could have heard her. Perhaps everyone did.

The figure’s, her creator’s, beak twisted, into a smile that she will learn is too bright, too sweet, too kind, and hid things she will wish she had run from right in this moment.

But now she was small and innocent, only in control of her thoughts for mere minutes, and believed it when the figure said:

“I’m your Aunt Magica, dear. And you and me are going to do great things together.”

-=+=-

Aunt Magica told her things, weaved her stories of the overworld, a place she said they both belong. Magica told her the story of a wretched man who trapped them here, and of his jealousy of Magica’s power. Magica said she created her, and that they were going to find their way back to the overworld together, and that they’d be a family.

“What do you mean, a family?” She asked, her newly created beak malformed from lack of practice.

“Well, we would live in a nice little house, just the two of us. And we would cook meals there and go out on adventures. Maybe I’d even teach you some magic.” Magica had said, her voice pitched higher than normal, more controlled and precise, not that the shadow could tell. Magica’s grin sharpened, turning to her. “Would you like that?”

The shadow nodded, smiling earnestly. Or, as ernastly as she could, with her half formed figure.

“Then finish making yourself a body, alright.” Magica said, patting her on the head. “It’s only the first step in breaking us free.”

The shadow nodded, determined to make her aunt proud.

-=+=-

“Lena.”

“Hmp?” Magica blinked at her.

“I figured I needed a name, so I’d like you to call me Lena.” The shadow smiled shyly, tugging at her fingers. She was getting better at holding a form everyday, and she was slowly constructing a distinct body for herself, something she would always transform into rather than the random and different shapes she took each day. Once she had a stable and practiced form, they'd try to break out to the overworld.

Magica barked out a laugh, quickly smothering herself. Lena took a step back, her face morphing into an expression of shocked hurt and confusion.

“Oh it’s not you, something else.” Magica said, cooly covering her outburst.

“O-oh. I just-, nevermind.” Lena looked to the side, her eyebrows knit together and beak pressed tightly shut. She wasn't trying to upset you. It wasn't even about you, you’re being ridiculous. She cares about you. Just ignore it.

“Alright then, Lena.” Magica cooed, patting the shadow’s head, once again the picture perfect aunt. Lena nodded, forcing a smile on her face.

-=+=-

Lena fought with everything inside her, trying to crawl her way to the light. The shadow realm pulled back on her, wrapping itself around her in an almost comforting embrace.

She wanted to give into it. The light of the overworld burned, made her sob pure magic and heave phantom breaths of air she didn’t need.

She’d tried dozens of times before, tried to break her way out of the shadow realm. But every time she was sent back.

The light of the surface was too strong, it burnt her away, melting her back into nothing, until her only option was to retreat back to the little place she carved out for herself and let her consciousness be lost to the realm.

She would stay like that, something like what one may have called asleep, until the amulet that made her core generated enough magic to pull her consciousness back again.

But. She was almost there, almost out, inches from freedom. I’m gonna make it. She told herself, repeating it like a prayer. As if she could simply believe it into existence.

And yet, it was still too far. Her magic was running low, and it gave out before she could make it out. She faded back into the shadow realm, fated to try again.

-=+=-

Lena gained conscious blearily, disoriented. She knew this feeling, the amulet restoring her after she had dissolved and become another mindless part of the shadow realm. It was like being born for the first time all over again, no less painful, no matter how many times she experienced it. Her simulated senses picked up everything perfectly, but she forgot how to handle it, how to manage even the diluted sounds, shapes, and smells in the shadow realm.

“What the hell was that?” Magica asked, easily able to tell when the shadow ‘awoke’, her low and threatening tone making Lena cringe. Magica stood above the forming shadow, crossed arms outlined by painfully saturated red, an image Lena was unfortunately getting used to.

“I ran out of magic.” Lena looked away, guilt pooling in her core. Swirls of yellow joined the normal pink of her magic core, showing through Lena’s shaky and translucent shape, her form not yet fully recovered.

“I ran out of magic,” Magica mocked, her voice turning high and nasally. “We both know that's impossible. You’re not trying, that's where the problem is.” Her tone was harsh, cold and cutting.

“I’m trying as hard as I can, I promise I am.” Lena whispered. Magica ignored her completely, ranting over her.

“You cannot do this Lena! It took us ages to gather that much magic, who knows what century it will even be by the time we make it out of here! Do you even want to leave?”

“Of course I do!” Lena cried out.

“Do not talk over me.” Magica hissed, leaning in closer. “I have done everything for you, and this is how you repay me? I created you from nothing. I generate the magic that keeps you alive, reform you each time you disappear, I’ve taught you everything you know, and you can’t even pull yourself together enough to at least try to escape the shadow realm?”

“I am trying.” Lena’s voice cracked.

“You say that every time, and yet here we are.” Magica glared at her while Lena floundered, beak opening and closing with no words coming out, not knowing what to say.

She finally forced herself to speak. “I promise, I’ll try harder, I-” Magica held a finger up, and Lena immediately fell silent, her voice caught in her chest.

“I don’t want excuses. If you just want to stay here, then fine. I don’t need you.” Lena’s eyes widened, her core burning in her chest, like a flaming hand was grasping at it.

“I-I don’t want to stay! I want to leave with you, a-and be a family.” Lena replied desperately, terrified of Magica abandoning her. Not just because she would lose all her protection from the other shadows of the realm, but because Magica was the only thing she ever had.

Lena loved her aunt like a mother, why did Magica think she wanted to stay here? Didn’t she understand how Lena felt about her?

Didn’t Magica feel the same for her?

“Okay.” Magica said, her voice neutral.

Lena nodded shakily, curling up and pulling her knees to her chest, not looking at her aunt. Instead she studied her wispy fingers watching as the shadow knitted itself back into place. Magica studied her from where she stood, the two existing in a silence that dragged on for minutes.

“You know I only push you because I care.” Magica said, breaking the silence. She didn’t phrase it as a question.

“Yeah. I’m sorry.” Lena whispered. Magica nodded, moving away to study one of the books she’d stolen from a shade. (Shades were different from other shadows in the realm, impression of animals in the overworld that had passed. Often times they were too nice, and were easily taken advantage of. They often brought items with them from the overworld, some of the few physical things in the shadow realm.)

Lena curled tighter in on herself. She knew Magica cared, it just… didn’t feel like that sometimes. Especially after a fight. Especially when she didn’t apologize. She never apologizes, a bitter voice reminded her, but she pushed it away.

She wiped liquid magic off her face, not wanting Magica to see it leaking through her eyes.

Aunt Magica loved her. They were going to get out together, and everything would be okay. They’d be a family.

-=+=-

Almost there. So close-

Let go of me-

It burns it burns make it stop-

A booming snap sounded, and then light overcame her world.

-=+=-

Lena heaved breaths of air, air holy shit.

She made it, she was alive. She had a real body.

She grinned, laughing and falling onto her back. She was in the middle of a field, the light of the overworld for once not burning her away.

“I can’t believe it…” She mumbled, staring at the night sky. It almost reminded her of the shadow realm, unending darkness contrasted by miniscule points of light. But it was different. The darkness wasn’t all one pure black, it was broken by swirling clouds in different silvers. And the feeling of the grass on her back helped keep her grounded in the real world, not the muted darkness of the shadow realm.

She threw an arm over her face. Even the dim light of the stars and moon was harsh on her eyes, and she was exhausted. There was a reason it had taken so many tries to escape the shadow realm.

She didn’t want to sleep, scared she’d awaken back in the little den she and Magica had claimed. It would be just her luck that as soon as she got to the overworld her consciousness would be whisked back, too weak to stay in its unprotected state. But, she had not had a physical form long, and wasn’t yet used to it. She drifted off to the sound of crickets chirping in the distance, and soft grass touching her face.

Lena laid there for three days, caught in a dreamless sleep. Well, magic-over-exertion-coma was probably a more accurate way to put it, but the prospect of being able to sleep made her giddy.

When she finally awoke the sun was rising, painting the sky soft pinks and oranges. She grinned at it, smiling so hard she felt her face would split open. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

All the colors in the shadow realm were harsh, true black offset by bright colors so saturated they seemed to glow. It was the only color to be found in the whole dimension, used to define the shape of structures and bodies of creatures.

But the soft pastels of the sunset were so different from the little color she was used too. It was warm and inviting, and when she pushed herself up to look at the other colors around her, mint green grass and pale blue flowers, she felt the same warmth bubbling in her chest.

Lena shuffled her knees under her, still weak and wobbly in her new, unfamiliar, mortal body. She crawled over to a cluster of wild flowers, picking a few and rubbing the petals between her fingers. It was almost difficult to tell how they felt, the feathers not letting her have direct contact, but it was like she could still touch them, their velvety softness still registering to her.

“Weird.” She breathed a giddy laugh. She started picking more flowers, piling them in the simple dress Magica had instructed her to form for herself.

“I see you’re finally awake.” A bitter voice called out, making her jump.

“Aunt Magica…?” She looked around her, unable to see her aunt.

“Behind you.” Magica hissed. Lena looked over her shoulder, seeing the stretched out form of her aunt. She realized she had been facing directly into the sun, making her aunt appear behind her. She twisted herself around smiling nervously. Shame coiled in her stomach, guilty for upsetting the aunt who had done so much for her.

“Isn’t it great? We’re finally on the surface.”

Magica rolled her eyes, arms crossed. “No it isn’t great. Nothing is going to be great until we’ve stolen the dime from Scrooge, taken our revenge, and have my body back. And yet you’re sitting here, playing with flowers like a simpleton.”

“Sorry.” Lena mumbled, ducking her head and fisting the flowers in her lap. She willed away the burning in her eyes. This is my fault. I shouldn't have gotten so sidetracked.

“Well, what are you waiting for? Get up and start walking.”

Lena nodded jerkely, taking a deep breath. She shoved the flowers in the pockets of her dress, not yet wanting to let them go.

Ignoring Magica’s eyeroll and muttered comments, Lena slowly stood, struggling to balance herself. She clutched the sides of her dress, taking a few small steps.

“Excellent.” Magica cooed. Lena brightened for a split second, then wilted, realizing Magica was mocking her. She ignored Magica’s smirk at her mistake, pulling a flower from her pocket to wrap around her finger.

“Which way do I go?” She asked, voice small.

Magica tutted at her. “I was getting to that. Show me the amulet first, I need to be sure you didn’t ruin the one thing vital to both of our existences.”

Lena fumbled to pull the transmuted amulet out from under the front of her dress. The chain was thick, but the jewel itself was miniscule. Her heart sank. It wasn't supposed to be that small.

“I, uh… it-” She stuttered, face flaming.

“Don’t look at me like that, it’ll grow back to its correct size.” Magica waved her off, annoyed. “You’re body is made entirely of magic, once you eat something you can start generating more to replenish the amulet.” Lena’s breath hitched, her chest filling with ice.

Magica started extending herself off towards the nearest city, expecting Lena to follow. When she was halted, not able to move any farther from the motionless girl, she narrowed her eyes, yelling back at the shadow child.

“What in Hades name are you doing just standing around?” Lena mumbled something in response, too quiet for Magica to hear. The sorceress huffed, constricting back so the core of her body was once again near her “niece”.

“What?”

“Am I not real?” The girl asked, hugging herself. She felt real, and she had always thought as soon as they escaped the shadow realm she’d be a whole person. The idea that she still wasn’t real, even after ages of pain and exhaustion spent trying to escape, was crushing.

Magica dragged a hand down her face in obvious annoyance. Lena felt like she’d been punched in the gut. She should have just shut up, asked at a better time or something.

“Functionally you have a mortal, physical body, which works almost the same as anyone else’s, except its made of magic energy, not matter. The only real difference is that you can’t age, and you can use your body to generate more magic energy. That work for you?”

Lena took a shaky breath, then nodded, wiping at her face.

“Is… is t-there a way to get me a fully mortal body?” She looked at the ground, as far from Magica’s face as she could.

Magica responded after a moment, her voice easily mistaken as kind and gentle. “Of course dear, we just need to get my body back.”

Lena nodded, and began walking.

-=+=-

It took Lena a few hours to reach the city. Magica had pointed her in the direction of the nearest road, and then disappeared back to the shadow realm, trying to ration their limited magic.

But Lena was glad for the solitude. Her and Magica where almost always together in the shadow realm, cramped in their small domain. At least she had a chance to be alone for a bit.

She marveled at the things around her, collecting random rocks and leaves, sticking them in her pockets, and then examining them one at a time as she walked. Magica had educated her about the overworld as much as possible when they were generating magic between escape attempts, but hearing about it and seeing it for real were incredibly different.

But even as she experienced all these great new things, something weighed her down. Her thoughts turned back to her aunt, and what was going to happen next.

She’d always thought the second they got to the surface everything would become perfect. Magica was more aggressive recently, losing her temper easier and having less of a filter. Lena knew it was just the stress of lost time, but she’d thought once they got to the surface Magica would be relieved, instead her aunt had yelled at her for passing out.

She felt sick. Its my fault she’s so stressed out all the time anyway. What right do I have to be upset? Aunt Magica’s right, I should have tried harder…

-=+=-

Having a mortal body was odd. The first time Lena felt hungry she thought she was dying, which Magica had laughed at so hard she accidentally sent herself back to the shadow realm.

When she came back, Magica showed Lena where to get herself something to eat. Lena had bought a sandwich with the small amount of money she had taken from Magica’s safe. When they first arrived in the overworld they were at the place where the final battle had taken place, unfortunately a few hours walk from Magica’s money depository, and a several day bus ride from Duckburg.

The sandwich was literally the best thing Lena had ever experienced. She’d never eaten food before, but goddamn, mortals sure took it for granted.

She spent the next few days on the bus, a trip barely covered by the small amount of money her aunt had stashed. Magica assured Lena that when they got to Duckburg they could just take the money out of her bank account, which, uhh, didn’t end well.

Apparently showing up looking like you’ve never showered in your life and claiming you were the relative of someone who had been missing for four and a half years didn’t incline the bank to give you money. Go figure.

So. Lena was left in a big city with the physical body and mind of a thirteen year old, with no way to get food. Great.

“What are we gonna do now?” Lena asked her aunt, curled outside the Duckburg bank.

“Nothing.” Lena’s eyebrows scrunched.

“Don’t I need food though? This is kinda a problem, isn't it?”

“Obviously, but since someone couldn't convince the bank teller, there’s nothing we can do.” Magica said, uncaring.

Repressed anger flared in Lena’s chest.

“How is this my fault?” For once, there was literally nothing she could have done to make a different outcome. Trying harder wouldn't change anything when you were forcibly removed by someone three feet taller and four times wider than you.

“Do not talk back to me.” Magica hissed, eyes flashing dangerously.

Lena turned away, eyes stinging with angry tears. She tried to ignore the anger and resentment simmering in her stomach. The pool of negative emotion seemed to be growing with each day, breeding guilt that only brought more anger towards herself rather than her aunt.

It just wasn't fair. Nothing is fair. Magica’s voice rang from her mind. That doesn't mean it's not frustrating as shit.

The woman hadn't even apologized, just instructed Lena to eat tree bark. (Which technically sounds a lot worse than it is. She could ingest non digestible biomatter and turn it into magic energy that could keep her alive. Painfully hungry 24/7, but alive.)

She cares about you. She’s tough because she cares.

The words sounded hollow, ringing in Lena’s mind like a choir of too loud bells.

#lena ducktales #lena de spell #lena le strange #ducktales #ducktales 2017 #dt 17 #wip #my writing #child abuse tw

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01010010-posts · 5 years

Text

— am I your future?

request: Okay but pls imagine the rk's meeting an ex-boyfriend of readers... Like theyre home alone for the day and a stranger comes up to the door and theyre like "whomst the fuck" and then he reveals he's readers ex and he wants to talk with them. Imagine these jealous nervous bois freaking the fuck out because AHHH READER USED TO BE IN LOVE WITH THIS OTHER GUY AND HOW HE'S H E R E... And like what if theyd heard of this ex and knew he was bad news (im sorry im a hoe for protective/jealous rks...)

is this ok?? you wanted jealous type & bad ex baby?? did i do this right??

Connor:

• “come on, ordering dessert too?” he giggles, drawing soothing circles on your back, his pupils dawdling with a dreamy gaze on your features, raptured in your love, basking in that soft tug of your mouth • you laugh, rolling your eyes “yes, dessert too” and then you mutter “since someone’s always eager to burn some calories with me” • he bites his lips, blushing a bit blue on the tip of his nose “that’s not fair at all, it’s your fault for being so cute” • “ahh now it’s my fault” you continue, his palms exploring your skin, lowering until they get in contact with your bottom • “yes, [name], it’s your fault” he murmurs near your lobe, teasing you to no end • well, no, there is an end • an end with a very distinct name and surname • “get a room, you two!” the shout of your ex between the chatter of your friends • ugh • your boyfriend goes rigid, a nervous titter, slightly embarrassed, touch lingering but devoid of the same warmth as before • perfect! just perfect! you think, you were busy having a moment but nooo of course they’re gonna ruin it • it was awkward enough when you got invited to this dinner without being told your ex was there too • but you didn’t imagine it would be this bad • don’t worry, as things can and will get worse • in fact, watch!, your last partner is slowly snaking their way to both of you, a sly grin on the face and two bottles of beer • they sit next to your precious robot, offering him to drink together, he politely refuses • “can’t taste? a shame!” that stupid no-good begins a wishy-washy speech, obviously tipsy, trying to get a reaction, probably wanting a fight • they do strike a nerve with you tho and you start tapping your nails on the marble table • he notices, analyzing you from the corner of his lashes, his chords humming off and on, not paying attention • he tries, i swear, he tries resisting and being his usual collected self • but seeing you like this? fed up? distressed? casually checking your phone while he’s stuck listening such endless ramblings • “um, sorry” he excuses himself, suddenly whisking you away from the room, hiding with you in the restroom • “what– what are you doing?” breath hitching you find yourself against the wall, trapped by his body pressed onto yours • “if your ex keeps talking I’m surely going to have a short circuit” • you snort, not expecting him to be so brash but welcoming his behaviour with a gentle cupping of his jaw • “besides” he kisses you “I was” another kiss “getting” kiss “kinda” again, a kiss “jealous”

RK900:

• he’s been waiting for the whole week, finally, a day where you two can be alone, rest, cuddle, simply indulge in each other • he’s super happy about it, he can’t stop kissing you while you’re both playing some boring board game • i mean, it’s not boring since you know, he’s a super clever AI, he can switch on your competitive side in every match • the bell?? he looks in your eyes and you in his • “are we expecting someone?” he questions and you nod in disagreement • “I’ll go get the door” he plants a tiny peck on your forehead and leaves the couch • but as soon as you hear the voice of the person behind the (now open) door your blood freezes • “baby? it’s for you” his tone is neutral but he doesn’t move, effectively blocking the entrance • you reluctantly join him on the threshold and stare at your ex • “what do you want?” you lean onto your lover, a deadly mix of fear, bad memories and utter annoyance clouds your mind • but he’s not stupid, he picks it up the moment you speak, already angry at the fact that his afternoon was ruined by some random scum • actually, not random, that’s what makes him livid • it’s your fucking ex, you had feelings, you had sex, you had a relationship • all things that you have with him now • to say he’s jealous would be terribly kind • he’s almost denting the door jamb his hand is resting on • yep speaking of that, the other free one swiftly grabs you by your hip in a lovely grip, tender, sweet, how he is • the complete contrary of your ex btw • the only time he asked you about them you got tense for the whole night • and he felt so guilty about not being more careful and so mad with your last partner • “you’ve got yourself an android? wow, sunken so low?” • you close your lids for a second and sigh in exasperation, really? very predictable • “yeah, you’re right, he treats me nice and loves me, the bar’s sunken pretty low” • this dork can’t help but let a low and quick chuckle escapes his lips • the same that go onto yours, kissing you deeply, passionately, nearly leaving you gasping • he tilts your head, caressing your cheek, then turns to the person standing on the doorway again • “i’m sorry, as my partner said before, do you truly have business here?” • your thoughts still hazy, your ex about to speak but— • he closes the door in front of their face with a loud bang

RK800-60:

• it’s a chilly summer evening, fresh breeze, a limpid sky, honestly the only thing to do is go out and enjoy detroit’s nightlife • plus, it’s your boyfriend we’re talking about, he’s the embodiment of having fun 24/24 h • you find a nice club, music not too loud but there nevertheless, if he wants he can go dancing while you’re sipping your drink • which is a thing that might or might not happen • he doesn’t want to leave you alone but gosh the beat is totally calling him • “hello, is this seat free?” • a familiar tone drills through your ears, you whip towards the sound • your ex • god, your ex • you briefly mentioned something about them to your darling but • “yes, it is” he smiles and replies, unaware of the situation • “oh but it’s you, [name]! how long has it been? six months?” • “more than that” • “seriously? time flies then!” • “you know this person, sweetie?” he half-whispers, his expression that of a lovesick puppy, already oddly getting the hint of something being wrong, probably because of your accelerated pulse he can feel with his fingers on your wrist • “y–yeah, it’s my ex—” • “so clumsy of you, [name], you should introduce me properly” • he’s dumb when he wants but not this time, his LED blaring red, fidgeting and moving closer to you, an arm around your shoulder, protecting you • “don’t worry, I can do that myself. nice to meet you, I’m [name]’s boyfriend.” • there was absolutely no need to but he did it anyway • he’s so nervous please excuse him • not only he’s jealous because he’s a champ in inferiority complex • but he’s also fuming? it’s pretty obvious how mean is this asshole you don’t have to tell him • “you’ve found someone else? thought our relationship left you quite heartbroken, but then again, you’ve always been the promiscuous type, haven’t you?” a snicker and there’s nothing after that • your android doesn’t hesitate and strikes a punch, perhaps putting too much force and fracturing their nose • he’s not even completely conscious about his action, he just felt the urge and did it, his LED slowly returning to yellow and then blue • “what the fuck—” your ex doesn’t get to finish the phrase, him grabbing the collar of their shirt, his fist feigning another hit and they put their hands to cover the face, scared, trembling • “don’t you dare approach [name] ever again, clear?” he grits through his teeth but there’s no response “I said, are we clear?” • after a feeble choked ‘yes’ he loosens the grasp, letting your old partner falling to the ground • he takes you home immediately, too pissed off to talk about what he did • he’s a bit scared you’ll scold him but there was no choice, believe him, he felt he had to • he spend the rest of the night cuddling and reassuring you

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buttercuppete · 5 years

Text

tucked in [peter parker]

spiderman stumbles upon you failing to pull an all nighter for your final [2.3k words]

warnings: none, all fluff

a/n: this is the first fic im posting im sorry for typos and errors aa

One would have thought that Spiderman would immediately retire to his home after his nightly escapades of keeping a safe neighborhood. This was partly true, concerning that he was a superhero by day and genius student by night, but he rarely ever came back to his own home to relax. Today, just like most days, Peter was tiptoeing at the sides of a certain apartment complex, his sight aimed at the second window from the left.

It was such a common occurrence for him to be sneaking into this specific window that anyone who was watching could probably presume that he lived there. This was not fact - he only found comfort in taking nightly visits to one of his best friends.

As much as Peter enjoyed taking the piss out of you by surprising you, he still had some morsel of integrity in him to always message you before he would sneak in. Though it would’ve been an interesting sight, he didn’t want to end up seeing anything beyond his or your boundaries.

It was almost two in the morning when he finally finished up with his vigilante routine and daily report, which was nearly three hours after the usual time he came. His squashed sandwiches were long consumed, and he had a few cuts and scratches to tend to. He almost decided against coming over to your apartment tonight, but god knew he needed some sort of blessing to make his night. And unsurprisingly, that blessing was consistently you.

Parker had checked his phone prior to arriving at your complex, considering that it had vibrated in the middle of his brawl with a convenience store burglar. A few reactions to his new story, some messages from his project group chats, and a missed video call from Ned - yet he couldn't help singling out a certain message that came from you.

you like hot choc n cheese pizza ?

It was sent five hours ago, which promptly sent him into a flushed frenzy. He didn't even bother sending back a reply, but clumsily shoved his phone back in his backpack and swung around downtown to get to you asap.

It seemed quite off-putting to Parker that your lights were still on at this hour. For a moment, he thought that something had happened to you, and his little heart jumped in immediate panic. With a peek at your window, his fears were well buried by the fact that you were leaning over a stack of papers on your desk.

With one quick motion, he was easily able to slip into your room without any noise. He had planned to crawl on the ceiling and surprise you, but upon closer inspection, he noticed that your head was resting against your forearms and the slow and gentle rising and falling of your shoulders. The absence of some snarky remark or a flat, exasperated sigh that normally came from your awareness of his presence signified to him that you were asleep.

If he wasn’t the typical Peter Parker, he would’ve cooed at how cute, even adorable, you looked. But he was, and he couldn’t stop himself from feeling heavy hearted at how tired you probably were. Scattered around your form were papers full of notes and graphs in various ink, almost two to three math textbooks filled with post-its, and several pre-calc quizzes similar to his own. It hit him that for the past few days, you had especially been worried about the upcoming math final to the point that you regularly skipped on movie and lego dates with MJ, Ned, and him to study. He always knew you were extremely hardworking and always liked coming out on top, but sometimes you went too far and pushed yourself too much. The last two days he had visited, he could barely squeeze in a conversation between your constant scribbling and typing.

It kind of made him happy to finally see you rest up.

“Hey, are you asleep?”

He almost cracked a laugh from how stupid he sounded. It was probably ridiculous for him to be asking you when you were obviously sleeping, but he just wanted to make sure.

He took a few moments to compose himself, pulling his mask off and taking a seat at the edge of your bed. Parker then took the liberty to examine your room more, eyes trailing from your black and white checkered duvet to the painting-filled walls, to your prized collection of finished remade-into-lego wonders of the world, then back to your desk. This time, his eyes landed on two distinct things - that while you were sleeping, you still had a bright yellow highlighter in your hand which bled plentiful on your notebook, and that there were two pairs of mugs and plates on the table. And with connecting two and two together, he could already assume that it was what you had asked him earlier - homemade hot chocolate and cheese pizza.

It tugged at his heartstrings a little when he saw that neither of the hot choco and plates had been consumed, which, in his head, translated into you waiting for him to swing by before taking a bite or sip. To be fair, he was true to an extent.

Whenever Peter slipped in your room at night, he usually stole away at your secret stash of chips not only to bide some time, but also to catch up on his very late dinner. You knew his superhero lifestyle wasn’t exactly the healthiest, and he had been so kind to you lately, so you wanted to pay him back with a kind gesture.

[If you were being honest with yourself, you’ve already been leaving food out for him. The drawer for your secret stash didn’t leave itself ajar, after all.]

Peter loved your hot chocolate recipe. It was a lovely concoction of lukewarm cocoa and milk that complemented the big marshmallows that floated atop. He didn’t hesitate to take a big gulp of what he assumed was his mug, which had an endearing, kiddy Spiderman design at its front. The taste engulfed him like a tight hug, and he ended up nearly finishing the whole drink within a minute. It didn't initially strike him that he was this hungry.

After he devoured a big bite of the cheese pizza, he observed your sleeping figure with utmost silence, unconsciously taking note of your soft and patterned breaths. For a moment, your breathing stopped, and he nearly jumped from your sudden movement. He thought that you had woken up from his movement, but it turns out you had only changed your position by twisting your head to the right.

...Which meant that you were facing right at him, your lips slightly parted and messy hair and all.

If only you were awake, you would have caught sight of a wild Peter Parker blushing the brightest red. Fortunately for him, you weren't, and he was able to contain himself from showing anymore signs of flustered. It took a few minutes for him to compose himself, because staring at how peaceful and heavenly you looked whilst having a tiny crush on you did not help in the slightest. He couldn't help it, though. There was a reason why he kept on coming over even though you never asked him to.

And there must be a reason as to why you never stopped him.

Parker could stay amazed at how soft you looked all night, but something, for whatever reason, felt wrong to him. It was only with enough observance that your eyebrows slowly started to furrow inwards. Perhaps it was his spidey sense telling him that something was wrong, but he was unsure if that kind of power applied to more mundane situations. Either way, his internal qualms were squashed by the fact that you started shifting in your seat, grunting and huffing. Clearly, you were uncomfortable.

Peter Parker didn't want you to be uncomfortable.

No one would, really. But the next thing he knew, his arms were already placing themselves just below the creases of your knees and the small of your back, lifting you up from the terrible bed of a wooden chair. His mind was buzzing with all sorts of thoughts: I can't believe I'm doing this, I’m totally going to wake you up, good god you're so pretty, I kind of want to kiss you, but you're asleep. The noise in his brain was so loud that he failed to recognize the yellow highlighter you were holding dropping to the carpet, and that he nearly tripped on it. Thank God he wasn't dumb enough to do so, but it still woke you up.

Well, kind of.

You were in an odd, hazy state. The only thing you could see was the bottom angle of Peter's face, and you immediately cracked a smile. He looked at you, horrified for a quick second, expecting you to be annoyed at him for making a commotion. When all you gave him was a big, crescent-moon-eye-smile, it became clear that you weren’t exactly in the most conscious state.

“Parker! You pervert,” you say in an unnaturally loud voice, “look at you, sneaking into girls’ bedrooms at night.”

He panicked, shushing you. God knows what he would do if your parents suddenly busted into the room, and what interrogation he would receive upon being seen carrying you. He found it a little funny with how your words were slightly slurred and how you talked even with a large kindergartener-esque grin.

“For your information, I literally sneak only into one girl's bedroom every night,” he huffed, laying you down on the soft surface of your duvet. “And that's you.”

“Aw, that’s pretty nice of you, Spiderman.”

He giggled at the manner of how you garbled, lids just half closed from how sleepy you still were. It was probably a given that you weren’t conscious to fully understand what was going on, and it was so tempting to fool around with your current state [in the most appropriate context]. And although Peter Parker could be a ridiculous asshole sometimes, he was one who was deeply in love with you.

You cozied up under the blanket he tucked you in, resting half of your face under the soft material. Peter watched your eyes instinctively closes at its fluffiness, and his heart instantly clenched as a reaction.

“You comfy?”

You nodded fervently, eyes opening and fixating on Peter. He had a small smile on his lips, as he tugged on the edges of the blanket so you were fully covered.

In some crook of Peter Parker’s teenage brain, he felt a little tempted to take some photos of you as blackmail to tease you about, but he was much more content with your soft, drowsy form. He couldn’t help feeling sleepy himself, thus promptly yawning as he tucked you in.

“Did you see the hot chocolate?”

“I did, it was really good.”

You smiled. “Okay, I made sure to make it extra chocolate-y, just for you.”

Although your eyes were closed, Peter’s cheeks flushed involuntarily. “Just for me?”

“Of course.”

As if it was an instinct, he mimicked you by silently mouthing your small ‘of course,’ with the tip of his nose wildly turning a violent red.

You always, in some way, sent his heart into a frenzy. He preferred to chalk it up to you being charming, even though in the back of his head, his undeniably massive crush on you was probably the reason. Maybe he could’ve gushed over you a little more, but as he saw you yawning for a second time, he realized that he was pretty drowsy himself.

Your eyes opened slightly, catching sight of a sleepy Peter Parker, his jaw mid-open from his yawn. Out of whatever pity was in your heart, your hand poked out of the nearest end of the blanket and clung onto his Spidey suit.

“What's wrong?” Peter mumbled with incredible delicacy, as if any louder would upset your environment.

“Nothing, I know you’re sleepy.”

It was silent for a second, but he immediately began spouting bouts of denial, saying that it was just a long night and that he would prefer to be with you. Half of it fell out of your opposite ear because you wanted him to rest too, but the other half you carefully listened to. Maybe Peter would forget all the things he said to you tonight, but it made you feel like he valued you more than a friend would.

“- well, you know, being a good friend, I’m kind of concerned for you, okay? You study real hard and you gotta rest-”

“Superheroes deserve sleep too,” you argued, voice still under a whisper.

He opened his mouth to bite back, but he closed it anyway with the fact that you were completely right. He was tired out of his damn mind.

“And with a loud ass voice like yours, I bet my mom would come marching in.”

There was some part in your body that could sense him suppressing a laugh not only out of fear, but also out of the fact that you were, again, entirely correct.

Peter decided to follow. He revelled in the fact that you cared for him deeply, and allowed himself to lean in closer to you, hand caressing yet barely touching the top of your head. A sweet and quick goodnight from Peter Parker was whispered in your ear after a few strokes of your hair, followed by light footsteps leading in the direction of your bedroom window. You heard the sound of the window slowly sliding up from its hatch, and suddenly, you missed Peter's touch.

“Sweet dreams, Spiderman.”

[You’d like to think that he was out of the room before you muttered it, but Peter heard everything.]

#peter parker #spiderman #peter parker oneshot #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker x reader #spiderman oneshot #spiderman fanfiction #spiderman x reader #mcu imagine #peter parker imagine #spiderman imagine #peter parker x y/n #spiderman x y/n #reader insert #oneshot #fanfiction #imagine #mcu fic #sorry for this aah

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domitiann-blog · 5 years

Text

Who am I?

I recently did an interview with my friend who works as a social media influencer for her newly launched website. Im reposting the content here & I hope the answers give some insight into who I am & perhaps the misunderstood world of sex work...

So tell me more about yourself. What do you do for living and how would you best describe your job?

Hey! My name is Ethan and I am a male escort based in London working both within the UK and internationally. Perhaps adult entertainer better describes what I do as I do/have done strip teases, live performances and adult party hosting (there are probably a few things I’m missing out)

On a functional level what I do can range from helping individuals to access intimacy all the way through to exposing people to a variety of sex or a quality of sexual experience they may not typically have. This might mean a quiet date, a holiday somewhere exotic, a tantric massage, a night of wet & wild fun with multiple orgasms…or all of the above!

More generally, I have a degree in Politics, Philosophy & Economics. I do gymnastics and triathlons for fun. I guess the typical view of an escort is of someone looking to make money in the short run to support an addiction of some kind but for me sex work has been the most fulfilling job I’ve had and I’ve had some pretty good jobs. I certainly wouldn't recommend it for everyone but for a very select group it can be a very positive lifestyle.

Tell me about the first time you received money? What motivated you & how did you feel after your first client?

The first time I received money from someone it was actually the second time that I had been propositioned and based on stories I have exchanged with friends this is not uncommon! I was approached by a man who said that he was involved with a modelling agency and would like to put me on their books and so I gave him my contact details. It later turned out that he wanted to spend sometime simply looking my body and then to watch me masturbate for, what was to me then, a large amount of money. So as a young man with a high sex drive and exhibitionist tendencies there seemed like very little downside. Afterwards he cooked me dinner in his penthouse apartment and we played on his playstation. Although the nature of our sexual encounter was different in some ways, it was actually quite similar to other sexual relationships i was having at that time.

I encounter quite a lot of interest overall (i hope this doesn’t come across as big headed, its more a reality which has lead to what i do) and am very sexually active. At that time, i felt the financial incentive was more of a way of deciding how i was going to spend my time and plentiful sexual energy rather than for any ‘service’. I’ve always just been myself and that slowly became quite lucrative. At the start it was definitely not a conscious career choice like becoming an accountant or an actor or anything like that.

What’s your price list?

This varies too much based on currencies, locations and time scale for me to give you an accurate picture. I will say that unlike many female escorts, prices are for time rather than a specific ‘act’ or ‘service’ and I always make full use of that time and sometimes run over having lost track. Escorts who formulate their prices in the first way i described are mostly working in a very different market though and are not in fact formulating their own prices. However this is a topic that i think we will touch on later in the interview.

Can you describe the people who pay for your time and services? What gender are they? Which services are they usually asking for?

Wow, how much time do you have?! Haha. The spread is more diverse than you might be able to imagine and some of them you may actually know! In fact one of the things i love about escorting is how diverse a spectrum of people I know and connect with. I am quite a people-oriented person and people will sometimes trust me with a side of themselves they don’t show anyone else. Over time, i have acquired a vault-like inventory of insights on how people think and feel in their most secret thoughts & when they are most vulnerable. When people meet me they will often remark that I have a different outlook on life and i believe this is partly responsible.

I see females, males & couples. As an assertive 6 ft 4 male i tend to attract individuals of a more submissive disposition who access intimacy most readily through strong guidance & instruction both inside and outside the bedroom. This means that most frequently individuals will come to see me to experience domination, tantric massage or for me to be their ‘boyfriend-for-the-night’.

What are you’re limits in your job?

My sexuality aligns more strongly with what my role in the bedroom is than what the gender of my partner is. Submissive acts of any kind simply don’t turn me on and its important as a male that i am enjoying myself if you catch my drift haha 😛!

Drug use and unprotected sex are also major no’s for me and are unfortunately highly prevalent in the world of escorting. I did once spend a week with an individual who wanted unprotected sex but we both agreed to get a full sexual health screen before and after! I also get tested every 3 weeks.

Humanity and escorting/prostitution. What is your personal and honest opinion about the work you do? Were you ever judged harshly when you revealed that you are an escort..? If yes, how and why do you think people judge the job you have negatively?

I touched on this briefly earlier but the first thing to say is that there are two clear & distinct fields within “escorting”.

First is what I would refer to as the “independent” escort. These range from the student looking to make some extra money to highly intelligent individuals who have found success leveraging their social & sexual skills into a fulfilling lifestyle. We advertise through independent advertising sites or agencies that take a pre-agreed percentage of what we make and make arrangements for us.

The demand for ‘sexual services’ is deep rooted in society and using a currency to expedite that process is fairly well established in not just human civilisation but the animal kingdom. One study into our closest animal relatives, the chimpanzee, showed that when a currency was introduced into their social ecology the first thing they did was trade it for sex! So sex work in some manner was always there, it remains here and is here to stay; so should our response as a society be to condemn something that is an upshot of who we are as humans? No. In my opinion understanding and accepting the independent sex worker is the best way to prevent escorting becoming the dark, exploitative activity which people confuse with what i do. The best way for society to deal with it perceives to be its ills is to, to quote Karl Jung, ‘integrate its own shadow into the whole’…

The second type of escort is the “trafficked” escort. These are mostly female and are brought into the country either by a boyfriend or a cartel of traffickers usually against their will or under false apprehensions. The entire business end is managed by minders and little to none of the money reaches the woman doing the ‘work’. These girls are advertised through ‘massage parlours’ and occasionally through independent sites. A couple of my friends have worked as ‘madams’ in the brothels where these girls sometimes work and the stories are so bad that they would never even find their way into the most explicit documentary. This is the part of escorting that is damaging to peoples humanity, is exploitative at every stage of the operation & has practically no cross over with what some of my friends & I do.

Was I ever judged harshly? Once or twice...but escorting is only one small part of who I am. I also have a degree from one of the best universities in the UK. I do gymnastics & triathlons, I read loads, love art, etc. so i don’t need to hide any part of myself. I simply try to be tactful so that the preconceived notions people have don’t prevent them from seeing all of who I am

I expect people to always challenge what i do. It makes me question where i am in my life. Is escorting still right for me? It is right now but in 6 months or a year who knows where life will take me...

What is the the most unforgettable experience or moment from your job?

Thats a difficult question to answer. Australia was my favourite travel location although its sufficed to say that I enjoy sun, sea and sex! I am always happiest being active and healthy outdoors.

What does love mean for you? Have you ever been in love? Does your heart belong to someone at the moment?

It’s rare that someone engages me on an emotional level. It’s not my natural posture. However, conversely my friends would probably describe me as verbally and emotionally articulate. As I see it this comes down to a preference for remaining in control but doing so by understanding what’s going on rather than shutting things out.

Amorous love for me is. Hmmmm. Well i’d most succinctly describe it as - surrender, but defined within reason; not to a fatalistic degree like teenagers or Romeo & Juliet haha! I think there is surrender involved in finding the compromise that it takes to form a bond with someone regardless of whether you call that person your partner, your lover or even your submissive!

I was in love a few years ago but right now my heart belongs to myself, the gym & my passport and I’m happy just like this right now haha.

How do you imagine that right person with who you would like to live and build your life together..?

I don’t have a clear picture of anything for my future in that way. I am the author and director of what is to come. I don’t have any intention of releasing myself into the hands of fate and hoping my future turns into a dream i once had or a story i read if you see what i mean. I have hopes for the future but not expectations. When i meet someone, regardless of who they are, i hope that they will meet and surpass everything i believe about the positive capacity & potential of humans but I expect that a lot of the time both them and I will fail to live up to this because we are all imperfect. For me its important that people I’m with treat me with this same reasonable attitude and understanding. Sometimes when people meet me and know what i do and see my pictures and social media they forget that i have my own idiosyncracies and flaws like everyone else.

The only firm criteria I have is that I am able to have the same wild adventures with that person that I have on my own or with friends. I’ve been fortunate enough to have seen some amazing things and anyone i am with longer term needs to expand the scope of my life not limit it.

What are your plans for the future?

My goal is to continue to do what I’m doing and over time develop the personal training that i also do into a fitness business. I am going to become qualified to instruct swimming, yoga, gymnastics & triathlon in addition to qualifications i already have and use them to build a company that focuses on truly functional fitness through sport. When i go into gyms I find it hard seeing how poor most peoples general understanding of training, sport & their own body is. There is so much to learn from sport that can be applied to those with more of an interest in general fitness.

Please, share with me your secret dream?

Unfortunately if i told you…it would no longer be a secret 😛

Thanks for talking with me!

No problem

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qdtquietdownthere · 5 years

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Day 11- A day of reflecting in an art gallery and painting, glueing and giggling in the sun.

Day 11

The waking up process, if it can be called a process, is the trickiest part of the residency actually. Waking up in your own bed, in Tottenham, seeing your flatmates, talking about the day ahead. It is a different world. I have to go from that, to the tube, then be in Pimlico. To this new, yet familiar place of comfort. What is the most exhausting is this point of change and transition- waking up in the life you are used to then diving into a day of fresh, exiting, uncertainty. No one really understands whats going on, and no one really wants to listen to me describing every detail of my day. I do not think this is something I would enjoy to do either. It’s lonesome in this sense. A temporary community which no one else is experiencing. That is so special though. I feel useful, like my existence and participation means something.

I am very aware it is ending. Second last day. I am so comfortable now.

I walk around the area following a gentle map. I have walked these streets before. The Thames, the Bridge, the view of brutal Battersea, the tiny parks and the contrasts. There are so many contrasting textures, architecture and people. An area of extreme wealth, and then a definite lack of it. I feel uncomfortable with it at points. In my favourite park which sits just behind Tate Britain I watch a very wealthy man spend half an hour with a puppy trainer and his pedigree puppy. He tells me they have traveled from Devon. There is a visible contrast when you look for it. You can maybe hear it more than you can see it. I hear coffee orders which are 3 minutes long, decaf, soy, skinny milk. At the community centre in Churchill Gardens a cup of tea will always be milk and one sugar. I wonder where I sit in this pool of people, I wonder where other people see me belonging.

CCA is based next to Tate Britain and I try to go in to see the degree show but I am told it ended last week. There aren't many students around, ever. The whole time I have been in Pimlico I haven't noticed anyone who jumped out to me as looking like a student (whatever that means). I guess they have all gone home for summer. Over the past week I have seen a few Chinese students, as I guess flying home at such a high price isn't necessarily an option for international students. I wonder about the loneliness of living in this city when your purpose of being here is to purely be a student. I did my undergraduate at Leeds and it was the loneliest time for me. Sometimes I would walk to town, to the big Boots and back, just to get out, see people and feel like I was a part of what everyone else was doing. I worked all through university but I didn't really hang out with work friends, and with a class size of 10, well, there wasn't much social life going on. I wish I had gone out more, joined societies. Even if they didn't interest me, I should have pushed myself. I was nineteen and maybe I was shy, but I think what kept me being lonely was a reluctancy to say I was lonely to anyone apart from my family and friends who all lived back home in Edinburgh. I think about the mother I met during the babies library session at Victoria Library and how she was frustrated there were no classes on for her thirteen year old son. Kids don't want to look uncool, and I think this can continue for some people into university. There is a pool of opportunity in this pool of young people who are desperate to engage in a world, but scared and uncertain how to. No one whats to stand out from the self conscious crowd of teenagers and there is opportunity in making activities which both work with, and eradicate this.

I walk across the courtyard from CCA and find a different art show; “Observer: John Latham and the Distant Perspective”. Latham’s body of work explores derelict land outside of Edinburgh and was developed from an artist placement with the Scottish Development Agency. The three month long artist residences took place in different locations, from industrial settings such as fishing villages to a residency exploring the mental health care service (https://mapmagazine.co.uk/john-latham-incidental-person). What was the desired outcome of these residencies? Well, the hope was that by involving an artist, “his creative intelligence or imagination can spark off ideas, possibilities and actions” ultimately benefiting development projects in Scotland (Lyddon, 2007). When the committee introducing Latham to the project asked if the artist was going to solve problems, Lyddon replied “No, the artist is going to show us problems we didn't know were there”. In the end, if there is ever an end to a body of work, Latham decided to explore the area in Midlothian from an areal perspective, or ‘from the distance’. It was from this, and through interacting intensely with archival aerial photography from the area, he was able to map out distinctive land features from the shale industry and turn these into a piece of re-conceived monumental, or sculptural work. The act of doing this changes how the public interact with the local landscape. I find the work fascinating and oh so funny to have stumbled into work made in this context during my time doing the residency in Churchill Gardens. I haven't continued to read into the work of Latham, but it has brought up interesting ideas as to how perspectives of place, how history, and fresh eyes can have an impact on how individuals engage with space. I think of how my view of the streets have changed since I began engaging in the area. How the image of a street morphs the more you walk down it. How the build up of memories connected to place erode and evolve as you step away then interact with them again. I am lucky to know these streets now and I get an overwhelming sense to draw them. Once again I'm excited by the power of naming, of bringing into the spotlight, places or people to create a transformative effect on how we engage with them. As I have been unable to draw or make during my time on the residency, I have taken up naming and writing lists of names instead. My diary has one section which includes as many names I can remember from all the people I have interacted with since my time in and around Pimlico and Churchill Gardens. Drawing cements and validates a memory or idea through the act of mark making, and I believe the power of naming and writing these names validates all the connections I have had to people over the course of the two weeks. I have found this at least itches my little creative scratch. Or rather, it scratches my creative itch.

In the afternoon I return to the Thamesbank Centre to volunteer with Shambush as part of the South west festival. With children from the surrounding housing estates, Shambush are holding creative making events in local community centres to try and create a way for children to engage with art and their neighbouring communities. We work to a brief which is to design, paint and glue onto paper ‘solar panels’ these of space, which will later be put together and secured to a huge metal structure and presented as a space shuttle in the gardens of Tate Britain. For each making event a child attends in their local area, they receive a stamp on their ‘space engineer passport’. It is a fantastic idea and I find it so exciting to hear that there is an activity in place to connect these very separate housing estates which tend to never really mix. When speaking to both Shambush and the local children who come to do the making session, it is apparent that Tate Britain is another world to this community. Im not surprised. It is a twenty minute walk away, yet completely inaccessible as a cultural engagement. This is sad but a very real reality. Fine art is most easily digested by those with the confidence to enter into the gallery space and those with the education to understand how to interact with it.

The kids are wonderful and messy and giggly and I laugh a lot with two girls in particular. We are silly and happy and I feel in my element. I feel so lucky to be in this space making with such interesting and wonderful kids. A group of boys come over and make maths themed solar panels. One boy manages to name every dwarf planet in our solar system and I feel very stupid when I talk about the ‘fire hurricanes on Venus’ (he probably knows the scientific latin name for them). Its so great how the space works. We are outside, the sun is shining, kids come and go and there is a real sense that we are in the heart of the community. We are on Peabody estate on Tachbrook Avenue so the street is lined by beautiful tall flats. In its centre is the park which is connected to the community centre, so every flat can watch down on us. I speak to one boy who is in year 5 and he says because of the park he has lots of friends who are older and younger than him. It is a place for all ages.

Throughout the day only two parents come and talk to us and engage with the activities. Its a shame because so often it is the parents who are cautious and scared to venture out and try new things, and go new places which ultimately gets passed down to the kids. When we age we tend to view creativity as something that we have or we don't have. The older we get the more we become aware that we can or cannot draw. The older we get the more we isolate ourselves from activities and places we don't feel comfortable, or that accentuate the fact we cant draw, or paint or act. The kids seem to want to come to Tate when we tell them their work will be shown there, but unfortunately that isn't enough, it is about the parents. Pimlico toy library was great for this, and Shelia was really passionate that she was creating a space which was confidence building for parents. This is vital.

The children power through the activities and start getting a little bored. I suggest making some space themed origami fortune tellers. Im worried that maybe I should have asked before doing this but Shambush are lovely and energetic about getting stuck in and keeping busy. The kids seem to love it and I get a real sense of right. I don't really know how to describe it. I feel in my element. This is huge for me and something which means the world when you're at the start of a career as a young artist who is still trying to find her feet. I wouldn't have had the means to experience bringing ideas to a children's art session before this and I feel so lucky that I am in this position. I feel validated that it is met with so much enthusiasm.

The afternoon wizzes past. The father of the two girls who I had spent a lot of time with is brought down by his carer to go to the park. From the top floor flat their mother calls them up to go and help with caring for the neighbours. They give me lots of cuddles goodbye and run off with hands covered in glue and crisps. I cant help but think about what a potentially tricky life they must have, but how wonderful and giggly they are. I wish I could meet their mother and tell her how great they have been. How great all the kids have been. I leave and have a little cry down the phone to my friend because I'm so sad it has ended. It felt pivotal for me as just me, as someone who is unsure of my next steps, of what areas of work I would like to pursue. It is because of this afternoon, and because of this residency that I have been given this opportunity and this space to gain confidence and experience in wonderful exciting and giggle fuelled roles.

Today is one of the best days I have had. Volunteering gives the residency a whole new level as i feel I'm working as part of a service which is effecting change. This is something I have a growing need to do. Its a wonderful thing that these two great volunteering opportunities with Shambush and the food distribution with Mike happened on my last few days. I feel I am more ready for them at this stage. I think about the residency ending, but on a larger scale, I think about goodbyes. I am not very good at them. I am home and I'm writing lots, I will have vegetable ratatouille for tea and I am going to have a gin and tonic too, because the sun is shining and I am happy. Big day tomorrow. Sad day. Big day. Last day.

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ts-akhmim · 4 years

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Episode 2 | “GET ME OUT OF HERE ” - Devon

okay so i filmed a video confessional earlier which is uploading where i basically talked about dealing with being a winner/the tomb and having an idol/potentially wanting to go to tribal pre-swap/deliberately choosing the puzzle/how much i love jake so that'll come at some point after this but just KNOW that came first. anyway just wanted to talk MORE because i have more thoughts. last round i was really conscious of needing to micro-manage my threat level and i think im putting in work to do that? im very concious that i cant play the same game as montenegro because im coming into it from a very different perspective/position. However, one thing I can do this season is transfer my prejury game, because i think it still works. What I need to do is to some extent take a backseat, where I'm not actively messaging people first, and keeping game talk kinda limited (but acknowledging it when people talk to me). Like I have the safety cushion of my idol, and my connection to jake/jordan, and to some extent dan and lovelis? like im not gonna be a target (touch wood) and hopefully if i am my men tm going to keep an eye out for me.... hopefully? it also means im not gonna be pushy about votes im gonna hear names and run with it (as long as its not jake/jordan, or lovelis tbh i get real good vibes from him). but yeah id really love the beauty tribe to go to tribal this round ive literally never spoken to a single one of them so i'd love one of that tribe that is a complete unknown quantity to go home DJDKLFSF. but yis so im feeling good taking a backseat but im gonna ejector seat myself forwards at some point, just got to figure out when to push the button

Okay so Bodhi left last night and that was really sad. We had nice conversations but i told him that if the rest of the tribe wanted him out i wasn't going to campaign for him. He ended up making his rounds but at the end of the day, no one felt strongly about keeping him. He speaks so well that it took me a night's rest to get my head straight. Also Trace got an alliance together of himself, myself, Scott and Isaac. Bitch i was SHOOK! I am so glad to be likable enough to be brought into someone else's core. So this kind of perfectly positioned myself and Scott between 2 alliances. I believe we're both more loyal to the one we formed before we found out we were going to tribal, but who knows. I did tell Autumn of the news because i figure if we were to lose again. Whichever of Isaac of Trace remains is going to feel on bottom and blow up that Scott and I were two-timing the DADS. Btw that is the dumbest alliance name I have ever been a part of but whatever. The rat pack has also formed and now him and I are in a good spot. I will say that i am nervous that MISS ALYSSA spoke the comparison into existence, but i really hope we don't continue to flop like Luzon did on Cagayan. But hey! If Denise can go to every tribal council in one season and win, maybe i can too. (PS i pissed myself with my score in winterbells but also F*CK WINTERBELLS, thats all, ty)

Honestly I’m really regretting not participating in this challenge because I feel like our scores are.......not great. I feel like I could have turned out the puzzle and even winterbells. The flag Lovelis made is super cute and i think will fair well bc it’s very clean and neat. It’s not super creative, but it’s definitely well made. I think even if we went to tribal I would be okay though. Liam seems like an easy enough boot for us. No one seems that dazzled by his contributions to the tribe.

i literally am the biggest clown who ever clowned for continuing to overdo it in challenges, if i'm allowed to make it to merge at this point it will literally be a miracle.

So Bodhi left on a unanimous vote yesterday and I'm glad that it worked out as planned! I definitely felt bad lying to him about it all and stuff, but I think it was the best for the tribe going forward. What does suck however is that we lost AGAIN! And it was actually close this time! I'm actually annoyed that we lost this time because I submitted my challenge at 4PM and the reason why we lost was because the last submission was at 8 :/ like... y'all couldn't get it in any earlier? Plus I'm annoyed because I find myself in the swing position between the DADS and The Rat Pack. Personally I don't trust Trace after finding out he tried to play the Rat Pack off as my idea when it was really his all along. To me, it shows that he'd betray me later on down the line. And the only purpose for "The Rat Pack" is so they feel like they're in the majority. So since we lost, I don't mind voting out Trace. Duncan and I called to confirm that we're on the same page. We also found out that Devon is telling us the same things about loyalty and allegiances and I don't like that. He also told Duncan that he would throw immunities and play idols for him if he needed it, and that Duncan was his number 1 ally. But he said the same exact thing to me. So... that has me a little sketch. But I also think that Autumn/Duncan are a close pair, so I may need to stick close to Devon for the long hall. But if Autumn/Duncan think I'm more with them than Devon, I'll take it. I'm supposed to go on call with the Dads soon. Duncan wants to tell them about the rat alliance so that Isaac doesn't use it as motive to get us out. Which i agree that it'd be a good idea as long as devon/autumn stick with us. Duncan and I both feel like Devon might be thrown off since he always likes to be in control, but not actually being in charge. So we'll need to do damage control when that happens. But for now it seems like Trace is going unless things change. If things go how I would want it to, then Trace leaves tomorrow.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1JKqH3EQMlugIe-lwHMYMG2qoVZ7dvIzr/view?usp=sharing

Omg!!!!! Another win that makes me so happy . The tribe is all getting along great and I couldnt all for better ppl. I'm hoping soon to get some kind of solid group together. Kendell adam and amiry are ppl I def wanna work with long term at the time. Just gotta see what happens.

youtube

Not much has been happening lately so I might be able to keep this short and not ramble on and on like i usually do (ill still end up writing a novel probably) yippy yay it's day 5 and everything is still all smiles and giggles over here because we've won yet another immunity!! kinda boring tbh but obviously im happy we won immunity because now that buys me one more day and at the end of it that's all i care about. I kinda did want the brauns to go to tribal however instead of the brains because i just really would like my beauties to get a nice foot hold and a lead in the game, i actually enjoy taking to some of these people, and im trying my best to talk to as many people as i can, which anyone who knows me knows isn't the easiest thing for me, i was reading some of my old confessionals from both my past games and the one thing i consistently got dragged for was not being as present with people, which granted i did improve a lot on last time around for sure, but i still got work to do and im realizing that more each day when i have no urge whatsoever to talk to anyone (don't worry, it's not you, it's (crippling depression) me! I understand socializing is part of the game and i do think my social game is my strongest asset but to me i like to think of my social game as a more distinct kind, im more elusive and i like to be that, if you leave them wanting more dahling they'll keep you around, i dont like to show all my cards, and that's a quality that i reflect in both survivor and life, and it has advantages and disadvantages in both but ANYWHO despite all that dare i say i think im still doing *decent* ? I'm making it a priority to reach out at least once a day to *most people (AJ, Augusto, Amir, Austin) are the ones ive probably had some of the best conversations with where it was the most natural and just flowed you know, and still is on day 5, and with kendall ive had some talks with her i do like her but idk i get this vibe she's kinda holding back when talking to me, and ESPECIALLY same with connor? we only had one private conversation and he gave me about a 3 word response, and if you havent guessed by now i like elaboration or at least a lil bit of personality when you talk, no shade just an observation, so that's a small red flag im very much a person who matches energy, one of my go to's in survivor is being open to the possibility of anything, ill always work with anyone who will work with me, and i think thats how everyone should play so hopefully the people ive been talking a lot to feel similar but i guess we'll have to wait until a vote of some sort to see about all that.. I still havent heard any idol talk or even game talk quite frankly so im guessing people are just still keeping the friendly facade up..... or ...... is it me?? am i the one on the outs looking like boo boo the fool or is that just my paranoia getting to me??? im not gonna send myself into a tizzy about getting voted out when we're not even going to tribal i- lemme calm down. If i had to guess I'd say Kendall, Connor, or Amir have the idol probably but sounds like a mystery for another day because im DONE im clocking out for the night until other people wanna wake up and play the game too oop final note: ok but it would be sick and twisted if it turns out they are all playing the game just without me and im the first boot of the tribe

Waking up on this glorious Day 5 with a new perspective. I originally applied to be on the brains tribe and was shook when I got brawn because let’s face it, my arms are akin to overcooked spaghetti noodles. BUT my tribe is so much stronger than the brains. I’m hoping for a big name to go to shake things up. AND I’m not really looking to swap onto a tribe with Trace or Autumn due to our past game history. Love them both dearly, but it’s gonna be a no from me.

okie so! update from me is i think im doing okay. like i think the benefit of no dua lipa cave is you can just build connections with everyone, you aren't voting someone out every round so why not capitalise on that? i'm so afraid of the fact that i'm overdoing it in challenges like i really need to calm. down. but im reassuring myself with the fact that in the first challenge i only was top because i did like... one more thing than others like its not thattt big of a deal? my puzzle time was clownery but hopefully people don't pay attention to it? im getting very anxious about overdoing it in challenges, but my thought process now is like. i need to act like people have an awareness of it, without getting kinda consumed by my anxiety about it? idk im hoping since most of these people don't know me, they wont notice me doing good in the challenge but truly who can be sure also am really just liking my tribe? like jake is ofc a king, i love jordan (who im gonna talk to later, he is the only one i feel like i have to talk to today), i also really like TJ who i was super harsh on at the start for no reason, i get good ally vibes from lovelis, liam m is super sweet even tho he is kinda inactive and dan is so fun (plus he told jake that he speaks to me one of the most so we love that!!). i've been trying to figure out what i even do about a lot of the super old school players that i have no connection/point of reference with? like people like scott, adam, kendall, aj i have truly no basis with? thats whats so scary about a swap, is at this point in the game i know 10/20 people left aka the brawn tribe + duncan/isaac/autumn, and like 10/20 isnt bad... BUT then the other 10 aka the beauty tribe + trace/scott/devon i have literally no connection to which is super scary JAKSDFA. im just real afraid of a swap. just swap me with jordan/jake/autumn/isaac PLEATHE. im just a pile of anxiety this season idk what to do im like frozen because of how scared i am... maybe it'll be all fine

Well, that was a close one. I struggled with that comp all day and I feel like absolute shit that I only got our team that 1 point. To me, it's inexcusable not to have be able to help my tribe as I wanted to contribute and make sure I made my worth known. So now I'm just this paranoid mess that I would have been in trouble had we gone to tribal. It's been hard to talk to some of these people or for most of those who I do talk to, I just don't really know where there head is at. I'm not sure if this is just a really guarded tribe, or if I really should be concerned. So I don't know what to do just yet. And that's not a feeling I like when playing TS.

Not gonna lie, I’m pretty sad that Bodhi left the game like he was so active pre-season so I was expecting him to do his best to go super far and maybe he did? I don’t know, but I did want a chance to actually get to play with him in TS but we keep passing each other by! I hope he is doing good despite how he might feel being the first boot yknow but yeah <3

The way I absolutely flopped with the idol system stuff is all types of funny and sad at the same time like I REALLY thought I did something only for it to be part of the challenge… That being said, Amir did tell me that he has a theory the idol system might be based on numbers which is interesting! I am super thankful he decided to tell me and we went on this long talk about how we are each other’s #1s which is super cute! I really do trust Amir and I do want to go far with him because he’s awesome but that being said, my #1 is me like I promised myself that I’d be selfish this time around just because being the selfless person I am hasn’t gotten me a win but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. We did go over a lot of stuff in terms of tribe dynamics and we both kinda agreed that AJ would be the first boot from the time if we went to tribal, we like our alliance with Kendall/Connor, we both like Adam and we both think Austin is sweet/genuine even if we don’t talk to him tons so yay for that too <3

I am SO trying to sell the fact that me and Kendall are a duo to Kendall which is funny to me idk hjfkds like she did approach me super early on about aligning but I do have the tiniest feeling she did that to mostly everyone but I’m trying to pin us with each other to her so she trusts me more, especially since I do feel as though she is the best connected on the tribe. I even called us Crystal Cox (me bc blazing speed and challenge flop ofc) and Ken(dell) ghfjdksl, I’m doing the most but yeah, I just want Kendall to see me as her #1 in the game on the off chance anything happens yknow?

Austin thinks I’m his #1 which is really sweet? I do like Austin even if it is hard to talk to him sometimes but hey, that happens. He told me that he’s really glad I’m on this tribe (which I have heard from basically everyone especially Adam and Amir which makes me feel cute omg) and that we might need to get a group going soon. I was like…. Tea but I also don’t know how quickly I want to get an alliance including Austin going just because it’s like… do I reveal that Austin and I are close-ish and be seen as a social threat? That just ain’t cute sis! But yeah, Austin told me he also really likes Kendall and Amir and that’s awesome that the two people I feel the closest to are ALSO doing THAT but at the same time, I want to be the one doing THAT the most because I’m greedy (by Ariana Grande) so it’s something to keep in mind!

The way I absolutely flopped at that puzzle… this is why I’m a Beauty cause a sis ain’t smart to complete a puzzle and I’m not brawn-y enough to do well in a challenge hgjfdk BUT that being said, Hagthor beat the thots and apiss and I couldn’t be any happier! I do wish Brawn lost over Brain but yknow, you can’t have everything go your way (‘: it’s funny how I slayed the last challenge and flopped this one tho like a bitch really lacks consistency huh ghfjndmks

Ugh fineeeee since I've been called out... by myself. I guess I'll do the bare minimum. So we won immunity!!!! Wooo!!!!!! Low-key though through out the entire process of making the flag, I just kept thinking darn I wish we voted out someone last tribal because drawing 7 people is annoying... watch me get voted out next tribal council lol. That would be quality foreshadowing. Today I have two goals. 1. Figure out what the method of entering the tomb. I intend on getting in contact with Augusto or Connor for that one. Augusto because he is low-key my number one. Connor because I feel if anyone can solve it he probably could. 2. Set up group chat with me, Augusto, and Austin. So Austin can feel a false sense of reassurance and Augusto and I have options. Write more later maybe.

Honestly im feeling kind of trepidatious going forward which is a little wierd, i just dont feel like ive gotten my footing yet in this game. I think like, im in a good spot to be fine on this tribe because of my social game and how I contribute in challenges, but I dont know if I feel good about anything longterm just yet. What really is bothering me is the tomb. Its gonna be round 3 tonight and I haven't made any more progress on getting in than I have night one. I feel like I have a lot of pieces to this puzzle but nothing is fitting together and its bothering me. I'm also a little upset that if we lose, I could see Liam being the target and I can't see my self risking my position to save him if he cant save himself. He has my name on his wiki page its an obvious association to me, and while I think hed be loyal to me, I'm just wondering honestly if him as an ally is worth the target it may bring. Im cautiously moving through the beginning of this game with a lot of unnease and hopefully I find some steady ground soon.

I am annoyed that we are yet again at tribal. I played so fucking hard at winter bells but of course someone on another tribe got like 238593277 billion which threw us back into tribal... So annoying truthfully. But it's alright, I should be able to make it out alive. I want Devon to go home. But I also don't want to let my guard down. This vote is important for a few reasons. The first reason is that our tribe is very close, so I am nervous that lines are going to be drawn in the sand. The second is that, after this vote, we will be down to five, making 3 the majority. We have an alliance of 4, and lord knows that when you are down to 5, whoever feels like 3 and 4 of the alliance are most likely going to try and rope in the 5th person to get rid of each other. So my plan is to make Isaac and Scott BOTH feel as though they are my number 1s so that they actually stick to our alliance of 4 thinking that I will be keeping them both if we lose again. This is the only way that i can see it working, but idk. I feel bad if Devon ends up going because he's a nice guy, but we have to make choices about strengthening our team, and then I have to make a choice about strengthening my place in the game. Hopefully this doesn't come to bite me in the ass.

Things have been going pretty well for my tribe! We won the first immunity challenge and that really seemed to boost tribe morale. Granted, these past couple of days I've been quiet since I'm trying to boost grades that are literally 0s into something manageable before I graduate hehe. I've tried to keep up with people through small conversations, which seems to work better for me at the moment until I get myself together. Adam wants to create an alliance with Augusto and Amir, which I'm totally for. I understand, though, that he doesn't wanna do it immediately since there's really no urgency to? We didn't go to tribal, so why did it matter! That excuse aside, I do hope that us holding our breath to say something doesn't bite us in the ass because these are people I want to work with! I wanna get something going with Kendall as well hopefully, since I adore her! Earlier, I stated that Adam and I (Adam, really) found our way into the tomb and both flopped in the questions. Adam took another stab at it and found out we've been bamboozled! Someone beat us to the punch and has whatever contents were inside the tomb. I'm assuming it was an idol, but who knows what else is in there! It kinda made me lose motivation to keep searching inside but when in Rome? I'll probably end up trying again despite knowing the end result just because I wanna prove I can be a smart cookie as well. I also didn't gloss over this but I'll mention it really quickly, but I'm sad Bodhi went! He was one of the few people I was familiar with on the other tribes so it's unfortunate we aren't going to be able to connect with each other this game. A king has fallen. In lighter and more recents events, my tribe crushed the second immunity challenge. Kendall stunned with her artistry and I'm still gushing over how cute everyone's character was. I kinda like decimated Winterbells, but I've always been good at the game, and Amir did really well in the scavenger hunt. Augusto and Austin did really well in the puzzle also, despite their lack of confidence in offering a strong performance. We appear to be THEE tribe to beat honestly and I'm loving that. I love our tribe! I LOVE OUR TRIBE! It really would be a tragedy if we aren't able to keep up this win streak we're manifesting.

Sorry for not writing this sooner! Been having a bad depressive episode for the last couple days and it makes me unmotivated to write c': I feel like a flop so far in this game, not because I submit shit scores, but because I find it exhausting to connect with some of these people. They're all very nice in their own special ways, but interacting w some is like pulling teeth, and I guarantee they feel the same about me, which I would expect. That being said, I hope we keep winning, cause I don't have the energy to go to tribal right now.

Heading into a second tribal council, there is becoming less and less room to hide. I am struggling to hold my own against the other tribes when it comes to competitions, but thank goodness it's a numbers game. If everything goes accordingly, I am taking a backseat this vote and allowing a 4-2 vote out when it comes to Trace. I appreciated Duncan coming to me with the alliance chat information with him/Scott/Trace/Isaac, but didn't like how Autumn needed to tell me first. Shows that I really can't trust Scott/Duncan after a swap comes up. In regards to Scott, he outright didn't say anything. I like him and all, but it was a slimy move to say the least. He only said something because he HAD to vote out someone in one of his two alliances. This group will be dumb as hell if they let me swap. I'll flip on them as soon as possible and invite anyone into my alliance. The tribe swap is where I made my 'Slithers' game infamous last time, so I'm hoping for a similar output. Don't forget: I swapped with the minority last time in Guyana (shout out to Jess), so I'm not worried about the numbers and how its split. ALL I NEED IS A SWAP OR TWIST. GET ME OUT OF HERE.

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Thank God we won that based on the tiebreaker, but yikes I didn't think my flag would've tanked so hard. Guess I've gotta get better at perfecting my craft huh, but at least we're safe. I feel nervous on this tribe to be honest, because I think I'm the second to bottom on the totem pole after the other Liam, so it isn't reassuring that if we lose twice I'll either be gone, or I could even be gone at our first tribal if he's got a solid alliance going...the only alliance I have right now is with Jordan and I don't really know where I sit with everyone else, but I'm afraid of overplaying... ugh so annoying! I think I just need to force a couple of game related conversations with people to build up some trust, just hope it wouldn't paint a target on my back for trying I guess...

oh gorl, some of these people on my tribe really think im just the clown of the tribe and cant put two and two together, well guess what, IM NOT. So Amir messages me, which nothing out of the ordinary there, ive been talking to him every day so far for the most part like i said we're a little familiar with each other from our pasts, but i was VERY surprised today at what had happened... what had happened was....he starts talking the smallest bit of game with me, basically he just said, "is it me or is everyone really quiet here?" and so i just agreed with him and i said yeah i dont think people are talking game yet which is a little weird, and then i threw the TINEST tea crumpet out there and i said "yeah ive talked to some people so easily like you, but then there's others who.....i cant say the same for" and i was absolutely hinting at connor/kendall just because i havent had the longest convos with them, which no biggie, but THEN about 20 minutes later i get a message from CONNOR of all people saying "hey adam!" ..... obviously im glad to talk to him and im all for getting to know everyone, but my instincts immediately went off and told me it's a little sus....how not even a few minutes ago i was saying how some people never talk to me and then out of no where the one person i was mainly talking about messages me?? Coincidences don't exist in survivor. Now I really have no choice but to think that amir in someway mentioned to connor that i said theres some people i havent talked to at all and that he probably needed to work on that.. which is true, but cmon. i know the tribe brain cell is missing but at least put a little thought into this and message me later tonight or not right after i say it?? I'm not sure if they have any type of past connection and while I definitely do wanna keep building my relationship with Amir, this will definitely make me question him a little bit at least until i see how some votes fall when we eventually go to tribal. Amir also told me he's had the most convos with Augusto, which is funny because thats exactly how both me and aj feel about augusto, which tells me augusto is really playing the game rn, and while thats someone i want to work with, it's also someone i need to be extremely careful with if we're still playing together down the road. plot twist: connor messaging me has absolutely nothing to do with amir and i just made this whole conspiracy for nothing but idk.... it's a conspiracy IM interested in.

***last add on because i forgot to say how the hell im gonna HANDLE this amir/connor situation... im keeping my eyes on it incase theyre in kahoots and also if they think im that dumb then clearly they havent watched me play before, which is great for me but bad for them, you cant trick a trickster try all you want, There's nothing I love more than being underestimated in survivor because it kinda makes it a little easier to play and gives me more options, so sure ill keep up my fake smiles and act like we're all fine and dandy, ill play dumb and wont even act like im onto them but i absolutely am and ill be ready to make my move the second it seems right

Ugh I feel so DIRTY. I feel so GROSS. Poor Devon, truly. I spoke with Autumn and told her about Devon, and she was in without a fight and told me that it should be 5-1. And then Devon came to me and was like... we all good for the vote tonight? And I'm like ................yes? Lol. I'm good, you're probably not. ugh, this is the part of this game that I hate. I want to never lose immunity ever again, let someone else break someone else's heart!

Something about Kendall is so chaotic and terrifying and I can’t put a finger on why.her aligning was her talking to me for the first time in a day saying “let’s align” and created an alliance chat without even asking who else should be in it which leads me to believe her Augusto and Connor already have a trio and I was the 4th. Are all these focking people playing me?? Like i still cant tell if this is a real alliance but i want to believe it is and not a bluff to vote me out. But also like why even do that, the only person on this cast that I trust and have played with, bodhi, has just been voted out. I’m a free agent and I can help that alliance make it far in the game, but they also have lots of relationships on other tribes so like I might not even be that valuable to them. I mentioned to Augusto about the numbers on the blog, hoping to create more trust because I really really love him and want to trust him but I’m still just so damn unsure. if we lose this immunity and I get one bad signal from any of those 3, if they slip up even once, I won’t hesitate to align and gather the minority. But if they are playing me properly, then kudos to them!

I am just happy i have the idol i am going to put it in my ass.

me when the brains tribe only has 5 members left http://prntscr.com/s8y76g

You know what? https://66.media.tumblr.com/b7b4accba586ad321141b6ba80d69044/tumblr_omule3fwZC1w1swfno1_250.gifv I'm mad but I'm not tight because that same alliance that Duncan and I orchestrated is the same alliance that will get us through. So do I enjoy going to tribal? No. And do I enjoy knowing that Trace created an alliance w/ everyone except me and Devon? No. But the Dads will prevail and I trust Scott and the gang. I mean Ducnan is family so as long as we don't go it's fine. But Devon is my baby so absolutely gotta kill for him. That's what keep em close hahaha But no the Trace vote is a dream come true that I only crossed my mind once and STILL got manifested. Like Duncan suggested it and I said you got it because Trace will be the FIRST to rally all the white boys against me in a swap. Cute or not, Trace will kill me I'm convinced. Like something in my spirit told me not to trust Trace and low and behold: Duncan reveals that alliance to me on Day 3. So confirmed, Trace is leaving so that I don't fall to the bottom of the tribe. But it's all good- Isaac listens to Fleetwood Mac and watches Schitt's Creek so he's a good guy. And Scott is literally a cinammon roll who's too busy to snitch or flip. I don't have time to discuss how much I love Duncan or Devon so we're tabling that. Anyway If y'all need me I'll be doing this 4 part immunity challenge that determines whether I make Final 3 in the other org I'm in so try not to need me lmao

okay so... we aren't going to tribal but its still kinda messy on brawn beach. i kinda have felt this energy for a while, but i don't think jake and jordan have enough trust between the two of them for us to be a continual three person alliance. jake is a very reactive, gut-impulse kind of player which is honestly to his benefit since he is super perceptive. however that also means he is quick to be anxious about stuff in the game, which is the same as me and that is why we click. BUT. he thinks something is up with dan/jordan and honestly i see that and feel it. jordan keeps hinting at dan being the one to loop in and i think that does say something about them having some sort of game dynamic. however, jordan is maybe downplaying that relationship which is scary KLAF tbh i still like jordan and wanna work with him, but i do 100% have to keep tabs on him, his social connections could definitely become a problem if he has other priorities over me! so i think i just have to make sure im a continuing priority for him, so i have to find some sort of information to bring to him (maybe when dan proposes the alliance of me/jordan/jake/dan to me ill run to jordan and be like hey did dan suggest this to you how do you feel) to solidify that sort of trust? idk... i want my j-men to stick together and they ARENT. maybe i need to solidify stuff with TJ specifically more, he gives good ally vibes? but ya... its a mess tm

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#BackWithVengeance

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cyjprojectarchive · 7 years

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blurry | bambam

prompt: inspired by bammie’s instagram selfie hot dayum could i not contain myself, so i made an imagine abt it B) here it is if ya wanna get attacked by our bamchinja. c; group: GOT7 pairing: bambam, you genre: fluff words: 3185 note: sorry theres so many spelling errors its currently 3:18 am and im tired as heq ill edit this tomorrow thanku ㅠㅠ

“Dude, you got this.”

“Yeah, well, what if I don’t? Our asses are on the line here,” Bambam’s worried tone reverberates from your phone’s speakers. You have it on loudspeaker mode because you were in the mood for some mint chocolate ice cream. You just got home from classes today and boy was it scorching hot outside.

“Yes, you do. And no, they’re not. You’ve been practicing nonstop for this comeback, Bam, I think you have it all down by now,” you repeat a little louder than usual as you open the freezer and take out the pint of sweet and cooling treat.

Setting it down on the kitchen counter, you cap the lid off and start digging in with your spoon. “And why are you so nervous? You’ve never asked me advice on how to handle stage fright ever since we knew each other,” you comment through the melting of your favorite dessert inside your mouth.

“Are you eating ice cream from the pint again?” He suddenly asks, a tone of amusement lingering in his voice. You automatically hug the thing of ice cream closer to your stomach, eyes peering at the phone resting near you. “How’d you know?”

“Just a hunch.” You can just hear him shrugging smugly.

“You wish you were here,” you retaliate, scoffing as you take another scoop. You make sure he captures the sound of you scraping the soft and gooey substance of sweetness. You know you should be encouraging him right now, but teasing the boy you’ve known for quite a while now is always a treat in its own way.

“I do. I do wish I were there,” he agrees somewhat seriously. You’re unsure whether he was talking about having ice cream or something else, but you brush it off, not wanting to think about such complications right now.

You put the spoon down and attempt to bring the previous conversation back. “Really, though, Bam. You’re going to do amazing, as always. Don’t worry too much about it, alright?” You tell him earnestly. If Bambam had never asked for any reassurances with you before, maybe this time he really needed it.

A slight pause occupies the air until you hear him exhale shortly on the other end of the phone call. “You’re right, you’re right. That makes me feel so much better. Thanks, fam,” he answers with a hopeful tone.

Shaking your head, you protest, “No problem. And don’t ever call me ‘fam’ again, fam.”

“Would you like to be called something else then, hmm?” There he goes, back to his usual zany self which you can’t help but blush about…

Did Bambam just make you blush?

“I would like you to call me when I’m not busy enjoying my ice cream,” you tell him, going back to eating your lunch for the day.

“You didn’t even start eating ice cream when I called you in the first place!” Bambam interjects and you soon chuckle at his predicament. You hear a few conversations bubbling up in the background, even recognizing Yugyeom’s whining to one of the hyungs, maybe Jinyoung, you’re not quite sure.

You move your position to the couch, setting down your phone on the coffee table. You hear a distinct voice referring to Bambam and he responds, but you’re too focused on your ice cream to eavesdrop.

“I have to go in a few. What’re you going to do afterwards?” He finally addresses you. You ponder his question until you realize you’ve forgotten something really important.

“Shoot! I have a major presentation for my History class tomorrow!” Spoon hanging in midair, you slowly place the ice cream pint next to your phone, feeling guilty of even opening it up.

“And you haven’t started on it yet,” Bambam muses. You groan in agreement and slap your forehead lightly. “No, because I thought it was happening next week.”

“Too distracted with me, huh. I have that effect,” the boy on the other end suggests, a smirk almost evident in his voice. You laugh mockingly, but the anxiety in you keeps rising. “Guess I have something to keep me distracted while you’re performing,” you conclude, probably feeding his ego even more.

“That’s good, then, at least it’s not another guy,” he jokes and you roll your eyes. “Whatever, snake,” you shoot back.

“Anyway, I got to go, we’re shooting in a few,” he tells you, almost begrudgingly. “Hey, I really appreciate you answering the call.”

You smile at his genuine reply. You rarely see this side of Bambam whenever you guys are together, or even just talking on the phone. You feel a sense of warmth in your heart, and you honestly don’t know what to make out of it. But you don’t let it get to you- not yet.

“Of course. You know I’m here,” you mutter softly.

“And me too,” he chimes. Another voice, presumably Jaebum, informs him about getting ready, so you anticipate Bambam’s good bye. “Now I really need to go. I’ll message as soon as possible.”

“For sure, Bam. Good luck! You never fail to do your best,” you add, making sure he’s still reassured. Bambam thanks you again, and the call ends.

Now, onto cramming that damned History presentation.

Adding a few finishing touches here and there, you finally have a decent 10-slide presentation for your class tomorrow morning. Stretching your arms upward, you let out a relieved sigh, yawning in the process. Making sure that the file has been saved to your laptop, Google Drive, and USB, you turn your laptop off and trudge your way into the comfort of your bed.

The digital clock on your nightstand reads 11:24 pm and you feel quite proud for completing a procrastinated project before the day ends, roughly speaking. You ease your way into the duvet, grabbing your phone to the side for a late night session on a few of your social media accounts.

You go to your Messages and remember Bambam’s call from earlier. You wonder whether the performance was a success- it probably was, and Bambam just had cold feet, but you already texted him two hours ago complaining about History being your worst subject ever and how lucky you are it’s your first class of the day. You type a new text, informing him of your success nonetheless and hoping he had a fun time today as well.

Before you can hit the send button, a chat bubble appears on Bambam’s end first. Your eyes widen at the screen and your lips part in surprise.

“What the…” You utter under your breath, hands suddenly sweating at the sight of your phone, Bambam’s selfie showing on the bright screen. You squint your eyes to confirm what you’re seeing is right.

You hit backspace on your keyboard and type a new message with quick and shaking thumbs.

Wrong number, headass.

He reads it immediately and your heart skips a beat. Your eyes cannot seem to focus on anything else other than the blurry selfie of a jet black haired K-pop idol. You find yourself mesmerized at his cerulean contacts and drawn to the straight and full pink lips. Breath hitching, you mentally urge yourself to stop giving in to your thoughts.

Undeniably, Bambam broke every puberty challenge out there, and not a day goes by without you reminding him that- much to his satisfaction. But you complimenting him was always out of good faith as good friends, nothing more and nothing less.

However, recently, things have been a bit blurry between the two of you. It doesn’t help that his constant teasing makes you more conscious of the type of relationship you guys are slowly developing.

And this selfie isn’t helping.

lmao what do you mean that is supposed to be sent to my best friend

You share a room with Yugyeom. Just show it to him in person lmao

not himmm, my OTHER best friend. u. anyway, like what u see? ;)

WTF are you talking about, you never send me selfies before???

aww is it that bad, b? :,( it’s just a lil smth to motivate u with ur presentation. hows that going for u, btw?

Again, with the weird ass nicknames, Bam lmao? And you’re just a few minutes too late bec I’ve finished, but thanks for trying.

Also, no, it actually looks really good. :)

pshhh u like itttt bb ;) oh, hey thats great. u should go 2 sleep by now.

and really? don’t play me, bb :,(

It does! Your face is blurred, so it’s perfect.

wow bye

You chuckle to yourself at the playful conversation. Typical Bambam, but you still can’t help but be confused at any underlying message of all this. Or maybe there’s not any and your mind is just running irrationally due from the emerging crash of the caffeine. Maybe that’s it.

You think of sending him a meme- of himself, might you add- until he follows a new text.

blurred like our relationship, right

Dropping your phone to the side, you bring a pillow pushed to your face and scream into its plush surface. You feel the heat coming off of your cheeks, chest heaving in and out as well. What was that all about? Has Bambam been aware of the unusual tension you, yourself, have been feeling towards him the past couple of weeks? Why is he speaking up about it now?

that was stepping out of the line of being corny. i’m sorry lol

You notice that he was trying to play it off cool, but now that you’ve gotten a signal from him acknowledging the uncanny stage of your relationship right now, you wanted to go all out. With Bambam, you need to know whether he’s serious about this or not.

You retreat the pilow away from your face, flustered at the suddent flight response you just pulled off. You certainly cannot be this embarrassing once you confront him, that’s for sure. But realizing you might have been absent for a while, you gingerly take a hold of your phone and type a new message with a plan.

When are you free, Bam?

You need to discuss this to him in person. You need to see it in Bambam’s eyes. You see the typing animation show on and off as he’s probably contemplating on what to say to you too.

i’m free for a few hours after our morning radio interview

Perfect. I’ll meet you at the cafe near my university at 12. Sounds good?

yeah yeah ofc

Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow, Bam.

you too. uhhh good night?

Good night to you too, Bambam. :)

“Headass, over here!”

A guy in stylish clothing, together with a black cap, black sunglasses, and black mask whips his head towards your direction. His tall stance and sense of fashion already singled him out from the lazily dressed college students surrounding the cafe right now, including yourself.

You end up sleeping three hours later after your conversation with Bambam, different scenarios of your meet up today forming in your head, some with good outcomes and others unspeakable. You couldn’t believe that you were able to set up a “date” with him with the intention of confessing the uncertainty you have in regards to affectionate feelings towards him.

He walks over to the corner of the quaint little shop, a cold drink already in place before his seat. You don’t see his expression quite well, seeing that his whole face is covered with different kinds of masks, but you hear him chuckle as he relaxes in front of you, inspecting the drink shortly.

“You know me too well,” he finally says, lowering the mask to his chin so he can take a sip of his favorite drink. You grin at your accomplishment, chugging the iced coffee you bought for yourself as to keep your nerves from taking over you- which was ironic since you’re gulping down more of what keeps you shaking right now.

“How was the interview?” You ask nonchalantly, watching his every move. Bambam glances up at you and nods his head, “It went really well. More enjoyable than your presentation, that I could say.”

Glaring daggers at him you counter, “Shut up.” He cackles at your response, and then the two of you instinctively easing into your normal conversations of mundane stories and brutal banters, almost forgetting about the original reason of you meeting him here.

But you didn’t mind, not one bit. You missed his physical presence. Just seeing a hint of his crinkling eyes from the shade of his visor is enough for you to feel comfortable around Bambam. He genuinely is the best person you know. You both never have to think twice about saying something potentially wrong, because the other would just use it at their advantage but at the same time turn it into an inside joke between the two of you.

There was something that he declared which made you stomp your hand down the table in rejection. He chortles at your dramatic expression and casually lays his hand on top of yours. Your face quickly realizes this as you retrieve your hand back to your sides, squeezing it tight to stop it from trembling at the sudden contact.

Bambam notices your discomfort and coughs awkwardly. “Sorry, sorry. I ruined it, didn’t I?” He admits, looking down in frustration.

“No, no, Bam it’s not that,” your attempt in fixing the matter at hand was futile, and you wish you have more time to stall, more time to just have mindless fun with the best guy friend you’ve ever had in a while.

But seeing that your stomach churned and jumped in itself after a simple touch of your hand, you had to tell him how he’s made you feel. Or else you’re going to go nuts.

“What are we, Bambam?” You blurt out, eyes fixating on the empty cup of beverage sitting idly on the table. “And don’t make it out as a meme, ‘kay? I’m asking it seriously,” you follow up with a scrunched face, making sure that Bambam knows you’re done with fooling around.

You peek at his face and he seems to be smiling shyly, hand that was once touching yours now scratching the back of his head. You find yourself wishing you never took it back.

Shaking your head, you whine at your inner frustration. “I… I think I like you, Bam. And I don’t know why I’m saying this now but recently, you’ve been saying weird stuff to me that gets me all flustered and red and you can’t see that because we haven’t seen each other in a while, but when we do I try to suppress it just because I don’t you to think I’m weird or something like that but our conversation last night messed me up big time, and now I don’t know if suppressing it is going to help anymore and I just -”

You stop yourself from losing air in your system as you inhale and exhale. Your hands have been clutching themselves tightly on your lap and you let go to feel the blood pumping again. You’re afraid to look up and see a confused Bambam staring at you, but before you can contemplate any further, you hear a soft laughter resonating from him. And it wasn’t that of mockery, so you slowly turn your head to reveal a blushing adolescent boy before you, hands covering his eyes under a pair of expensive sunglasses.

“Aw man, you beat me to it. Why do you always do that to me?” He complains cutely. You titl your head in confusion.

“I was supposed to confess first. Do you know how ashamed I feel right now?” He takes his hands off his eyes as well as his sunglasses and you finally see his eyes. Glistening in hope and anxiety all at the same time, but the beauty in them never left. You are taken aback, but you try and keep it together as he gulps down and stares right back at you.

“You always beat me to things, but that doesn’t mean I won’t confess anymore. Yes, I’ve been trying to get your attention more frequently because I’ve… developed feelings for you, and I didn’t know how to handle them other than be more annoying than usual.” His assessment of the situation makes you giggle, and it prompted him to keep going.

“I was really happy I got to talk to you when I was feeling hella nervous yesterday. It made me confirm my feelings for you and that you make me comfortable in whatever situation we’re in. The selfie I sent you last night was just me trying to see if you kind of feel the same way, and I honestly didn’t know what to expect from there.” He brings his hands on the table and plays with them mindlessly, biting his lip as he looks down.

“I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel frustrated by the way I’ve acted, I’m just a dumb adolescent boy who doesn’t know how to handle his feelings well. But I was honestly really glad we got to hang out today, you know I missed you a lot. So, I’m sorry if this ruins everything…” he trails off, seeming to want to say more but his tongue prevents him from doing so.

You keep your eyes on him, not exactly knowing how to respond correctly. He gives you a full minute to contemplate on your own before he looks back up at you, pausing with his hands and smiling sheepishly. “Any response from you would be great right now.”

“Shoot, I’m sorry,” you say, lips in a tight line. You think for another few seconds before finally making up your mind. “C’mon, let’s take a selfie.”

“W-what?”

“C’mon, Bam. You have a better camera than mine, so go get your phone!” Your tone was firm but encouraging at the same time. He hesitates for a second but complies nonetheless. You scoot next to him, your arm slightly touching with his. You falter a bit, but you feel Bambam relax with your touch and you smile as you move in a tiny bit closer.

He positions the phone at the perfect angle and you see him trying out a few different expression before his thumb presses over the button. Your smile grows wider at the sight of him assessing himself, but you quickly peck the soft surface of his cheek and beat him to taking the selfie.

Without waiting for his response, you snatch the phone away and inspect the picture. Content with the image, you show him the screen.

He looks at with his eyebrows furrowed, but immediately understands and reveals a goofy grin. You nudge his elbow playfully before resting your head on your shoulder, already feeling at ease with your position.

“Not so blurry now, huh?” You ask him. He pats your head in response and squeezes your shoulder reassuringly, the touch of him making you want more.

But for now, this is enough.

#got7maknaelinenet #kreativewritersnet #got7 imagines #bambam scenarios #got7 scenarios #bambam imagines #emjae fics

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unproduciblesmackdown · 7 years

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hannahchronism · 7 years

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The Chat Log™

Alright so I told myself (and Jordan) I would rewrite this into a drabble when I actually did the thing, and I am probably still going to, but not tonight because my brain isn’t working. So, if you care about my dustkids and my attempts to emotionally wreck Jordan at every turn, here’s a chat log for you (that’s actually from November, in case you’re curious about how long I’ve been sitting on this) that explains what’s up on the Haven blog. It will be updated into a drabble at some point->

[3:46:15 AM] Hannahbal: A concept:

[3:48:50 AM] Hannahbal: Tox comes up on the safe haven after being pointed there by Tess. He crosses the fences on foot, and RKO has word to half the station before Tox is even halfway to the door, 'lone dustkid on foot. He's pretty, but he looks like fuckin' /shit/' - Phantom shoots back a comment, Vi can be heard laughing, but Lith misses out on the transmission because she left her radio in her room before holing up in the garden to teach Dawn how to harvest and use the aloe leaves.

[3:50:38 AM] Hannahbal: The first person to recognize Tox is Jack, who gives a look out of the window when he hear's RKO's early warning. At first he's dubious. All he had to go on was Phantom & Lith's story when they came to the desert, and though he trusts them, there was always so much that seemed missing from the tale. Now, he's go his suspicions, but watching the figure walk up Jack can't be sure it's really him. He races to the ground floor anyways, Colton on his hip, and storms out into the sand, daring -as always- to hope.

[3:53:31 AM] Hannahbal: The first familiar face Tox sees in fourteen months is Jack. Jack, who Tox hasn't seen since he left for the city nearly four years ago. The toddler on Jack's hip has to be the baby Tox helped deliver - it brings him up short, how long it's been and how much Colton already looks like Dusty. But then, Jack isn't slowing down, a fool grin on his lined face, and Tox only has a second to compose himself before he's wrapped in an iron strong one-armed hug. Same old Jack.

[3:55:49 AM] Hannahbal: "You're pretty spry for a dead guy" Jack laughs, but Tox can see the heavy sentiment underneath (Welcome back), feel the way his arrival has soothed a wound Jack hasn't been talking about Tox claps a hand against Jack's back, proof of his solidity "That's what they all say." (This is home)

[3:59:33 AM] Hannahbal: Jack steers Tox into the haven, content silence between them, and Tox is awed but unsurprised by this new home that Jack has built out of the desert's rejects. He spies some new faces (the one who was on guard, the little one slinking around in the corner) and some old (Vi with that churlish grin she always wears, Diana looking shocked, but tanner, brighter) A sense of possibility hits him, looking at the faces, and then Phantom rounds the corner.

[4:04:23 AM] Hannahbal: Tox can't help it. He breaks from Jack's guidance to surge after Phantom (Nathan owes him a promise.) Before anyone knows what's happening, Tox has him pinned by the shoulders, his expression something peircing to behold. From the corner, Foxtrot exchanges a look with Vi, who has simply gone "jesus", and RKO looks like his eyes might roll out of his skull - Di seems equally startled. Des cautiously rounds a corner, perpared to back Phantom up until she realizes who that is with his hands holding fistfuls of Nathan's ratty shirt. Jack hold his son carefully away from the confrontation, surprised by a side of the compassionate young man he's never seen before, but comforted in his past familiarity with him: there's nothing, he's convinced, Tox will do that isn't just.

[4:07:33 AM] Hannahbal: Phantom's hands are up in surrender, his entire posture submissive to the warning aggression and his face unperturbed as he looks on at the friend he made within the walls of BLis city sized prison. Tox looks much the same, perhaps a little thinner, but still wide in the shoulders and, thankfully, amazingly alive. The key difference is the spark, the guttering flame ready to turn full blast. Phantom - Nathan had never seen more that a windblow ember before today, never more that a far of winking star. Now the blaze was waiting, and it was all he could do not to smile.

[4:10:23 AM] Hannahbal: Tox is not in the mood for smiling - he needs to know. Knuckles pressed firmly into the bones of Nathan's wiry shoulders, he stares the older man down. (Don't lie to me, man.) "I see Diana," he says softly, "I see Desire." Nathan nods - two members of their scattered group. "I don't see .. I don't." Tox can't say it, but the point stands. (Behind him, Jack makes a short sound, but the short glance Phantom sends shuts him hip fast. Not his business.)

[4:11:27 AM] Hannahbal: Tox grinds his teeth, pulling on Phantom's shirt before pushing him back into the thin metal wall slowly, like a grasp at straws of strength.

[4:12:09 AM] Hannahbal: "Did you keep your promise?" He asks, and searches so hard, so hard for the answer.

[4:12:30 AM] Hannahbal: Before Phantom ever opens his mouth, a quiet "oh!" comes from down the walkway.

[4:13:57 AM] Hannahbal: Dawn and Lith have appeared there, dusted with the dark soil from the garden. Dawn's face is drawn in surprise, a finger caught between her teeth as she glanced between Phantom and the man they left behind in the city, but all eyes are on the young woman over Dawn's shoulder.

[4:14:11 AM] Hannahbal: (how am i doin so far are you upset yet?) [4:14:18 AM] Tired™: im gonna block u

[4:15:12 AM] Hannahbal: For a long minute, there is silence. Heavy and palpable and so so fragile.

[4:15:24 AM] Hannahbal: No one dares to breath too loud.

[4:19:58 AM] Hannahbal: With careful but firm fingers, Phantom prys Tox's hands off his shirt, then lays his hand over his shoulder. With a quiet smile tugging at his eyes, he answers. "Yes" The silence is broken. "Yes?" the shaken echo comes from Lith, who has gone ashen, faced with the ghost from so many of her waking dreams, the figure of both her fantasies and nightmares. She is asking because she couldn't stand it to believe without being sure. To make the point, Phantom thumps the starstruck Tox on the chest, producing a very real, hollow whump. "Yes" he says again.

Lith breaks free of her defensive restraint and /runs./ Tox meets her halfway.

[4:24:44 AM] Tired™: jesus u are still typing

[4:24:49 AM] Hannahbal: Where they meet the air is gold and miracles are real, it takes only an impossible hug to see that. It's not a movie, they don't kiss, not right away, too drawn to one another to bother with something so unimportant as kissing, no - they crash, they throw each other off their feet and hit the concrete without a damn care how much the bruise is going to hurt later. He his squeezing her like it had been nine centuries instead of nine months, and she is laying her hand over him, his arms and his back, pulling her hands through his short hair, feeling out the old familiar places and the new spots and scars. She can feel him now, real as the dirt under her fingernails, so she has to see.

[4:24:51 AM] Hannahbal: (yes)

[4:38:28 AM] Hannahbal: She pushes him and he lets her, but not very far - they are staring at each other now, their audience forgotten. She can't think what to say. He's thought about it every day since he got his last look, seeing her terrified as they pushed him down and cracked their nightsticks over his shoulders. "I fought" he says it softly, seeking either understanding or approval, "I told you to run so I could fight. You ran, at least, I hoped you did, so I fought. Every day I thought they'd come to tell me you were there, and they did twice," he smiled, something small and fierce, "but they had nothing to show, so I called them liars." "You fought" she nodded faintly, dragging her fingertips over the mark on his neck, the line on his bicep, the cut still half healed on his forehead. He caught her left hand and pressed a kiss to her fingertips. (For you. For a home for a family for what's right for liberty for kindness for justice.) Tears stung her eyes. She returned the gesture, only then spying the band of ink around his finger where his ring ought to have been. "No metal," he said solemnly, flexing his hand as she peered at the tattoo. "I don't know what they did with any of it. Melted it, probably." Shock had her look for the silver chain that ought to hang around his neck, but it was gone too. She was starting to understand. "It doesn't matter" she told him. His smile was crushing, and when she saw the old familiar him at last, she was suddenly very aware of her distinct lack of hair. She ran a self conscious hand over the short fuzz that crowned her head and laughed. "It's impossible to keep it clean out here, you know" He brushed his hands over the back of her head, peering at the short buzz job this way and that before declaring with a laugh, "I like it"

#ole #tox #jack #phantom #lith #((obviously everyone else but those are the key mentions))#the haven

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