#back to doing literally anything else

[actual-changeling]

I know that Ellie eventually going to school is a pretty much universally accepted part of the world building, but I am itching to explore her trying to do so and simply being unable to do it.

The child abuse she went through at the hands of FEDRA was probably prolific and cruel, and her life was basically nothing but different kinds of "education" strung together, whether that's whatever they cobbled together for general education or the military training. Joel might know it was bad (cause it's fucking FEDRA), but the extend of her trauma is hard to gauge when you are not in a situation that triggers it.

Her academic trauma does not disappear outside of school, but unless Ellie is in a similar situation it simply won't be immediately obvious (speaking from experience). On top of that, David being a teacher does not help whatsoever.

-

Joel and Ellie agree on a first day of school, but they want to check out the building beforehand, just so they're both a bit more at peace. Ellie is somewhat excited but also scared, and the closer they get to the building, the quieter she becomes, just hanging onto Joel's hand and squeezing it until her knuckles turn white. He pulls her close, notices she is nervous, but he doesn't press and gets them inside. One of the handful of teachers, a woman about Joel's age (they're aware enough to not have it be a man, Silver Lake is a known topic), meets them at the door and shows them around.

Small classrooms with surprisingly comfortable looking wooden chairs (Ellie sees the pillows on them and her mind short-circuits), some old sofas and couches, armchairs, spacious desks and all kinds of posters and materials. There's an art room and it is the only time Ellie's grip on Joel loosens a tiny bit, the array of brushes, paints, and instruments fascinates her, but that moment passes as quickly as it came.

With every step they take, the teacher's voice blurs with Joel's and turns into white noise, her vision grows fuzzy and grey, and she has to keep blinking with fluttering lashes to not sway on her feet when the dissociation gets worse. Absently, her mind keeps cataloguing the floor plan, windows, doors, all exists she can make our and imagine, but by the end of the tour, she cannot remember anything past leaving their house this morning. Something tugs on her hand, and she blinks up at Joel, his gaze loaded with a question she didn't hear, and maybe ten weeks ago she would have pretended she had; she doesn't know.

Ellie doesn't even know why she is reacting like this, there are no specific memories popping up, nothing to fight back, just her mind and body slipping into a protective armor of static like they're pulling her into the fizzling TV in their living room.

"Ellie?"

The teacher's voice snaps her back to a pounding heart and a breath stuck in her lungs, and when she looks down at their clasped hands her nails have left marks in Joel's skin. She lets go at once, holding onto her wrists with her arms behind her back, and she still didn't hear the question. Every cell in her body is telling her to leave, pulling her toward the nearest exit, but she doesn't. There are memories flickering across her vision now, a decade of unjust, painful punishments and her body being pushed to its breaking point, and she decides the answer to that question is more important than whatever they had asked her.

"What do you do? For, like, punishment?"

Her voice is steadier than she is on her feet, so she rocks gently back and force to stop herself from swaying. Joel's gaze burns hot on her cheeks, but she keeps her eyes on the teacher, whose eyebrows are raised so high they disappear beneath her fringe.

"Punishment? We don't- there's not reason to punish forgotten homework or the like here, Ellie, it's supposed to be both fun and educational."

Something about the tone in her voice unsettles her, but the answer isn't satisfying, and she needs to know, needs to know the rules so she can follow them, because the art room looks like it might actually be fun to be in and she is so tired of dark lonely spaces and marks on her back; imagining the disappointed look on Joel's face when her teachers tell him about it is the worst of it all, though.

"What are the rules? When are the drills and what's the consequences for breaking the rules? Is there-" is there a hole, she wants to ask, but her breathing is fast and shallow, periphery dotted with dancing black spots, and she doesn't want to give them any ideas they didn't already have. Joel's hand lands on her back, right between her shoulder blades, and the warm weight his comforting without being oppressive, her breaths slowing just a smidge.

The woman with a name Ellie forgot is taller than Joel with the shoes she is wearing, and she she squats down, the look on her foreign face looks like a a finished puzzle, the final piece having snapped into place. Her features are rounded, soft, a stark contrast to the borderline malnourished and hardened look of pretty much every person around the QZ including her teachers, a few light-brown and grey strands escaping from her ponytail, and Ellie can't help but think that she looks - nice, non-threatening. School isn't supposed to be non-threatening, but this whole building is dripping with it, and it scares her to death; getting this ripped away from her as punishment will hurt even more than escaping packed, concrete classrooms.

"You grew up in a FEDRA school, right?" she asks, voice almost tender, and Ellie can only stare and nod while Joel rubs circles into her back.

"I heard stories about what it was like before I came here, horrible experiences no one should have to go through, especially not a child."

She sounds so much like Joel the comfort laced into her words manages to penetrate the static and soothe some of the panic, her eyes a bright hazel shade, not blue, and she keeps her distance even though she could easily get into Ellie's personal space

"Even before the outbreak, school wasn't like that, and it is definitely not like that here. There is no punishments, Ellie, no real rules or structure outside of general lesson plans, no consequences for not turning in work or being late. This is meant to provide some stability and education, give you a places to hang out with people your age, have some more people to connect with. If you don't want to be here, no one will force you."

Ellie doesn't cry. She doesn't. A deep breath and some determined blinking pull back the tears from her waterline and her chest aches with a vengeance when she thinks about how different it would have been here for her and Riley, how much better. Riley would still be alive. For a few minutes, they're all silent, allowing her to gather the scattered pieces of herself and glue them back together, and when she does, a tiny bit of the fear in her bones has made space for tentative excitement.

"I like the art room," she says quietly, feeling younger than she ever has, and a wave of something washes over all of them. "Do I- can I-"

"You can use it whenever you like, even outside of school hours, as long as you don't leave too much of a mess and use it responsibly."

Liliya, her brain finally provides, straightens her back again, and the lack of a last name during her introduction is probably part of what through her off. Ellie looks up at Joel, a muscle in his jaw ticking with suppressed anger, not at her, at FEDRA, she knows him well enough to realize that, and decides her question about The Hole is both best saved for another time and hopefully not relevant at all.

"Okay," Ellie responds, pressing herself back against Joel and melting when his arm protectively wraps around her shoulders, "I'll give it a try."

Over the relief rushing through her hairs, she barely hears the details the adults next to her discuss, happy to bury her face in Joel's shirt without shame, and she manages to shake off the last wisps of static clinging to her. Maybe this will work out for her, maybe it won't, maybe all she will use are the art supplies, but when they are lead back to the entrance, more than ready to go home, Liliya gives her a smile, eyes crinkling. For the first time in her life, Ellie smiles back at a teacher simply because she wants to, and the hopeful excitement sprouting in her chest is enough to tell her that she will be right on time for her first class on Monday.

#alex writes tlou #the last of us #tlou #joel and ellie #ellie williams #joel miller #ficlet #fedra school #some riley pain for Z <33 #joel is a good fucking dad and that teachers is a good person #and ellie has mommy issues and can and will get attached but more about that later #ellie has academic trauma in so many ways this is literally not even scratching the surface but it scratched my itch for now #wanna guess how long my little reblog is or what was meant to be little anyway #wanna take a big fucking guess? #if you guessed 1.3k aka a WHOLE ASS FIC you are correct #i cant- i cant even anymore #anyway #back to doing literally anything else

[kaeyachi]

I'm seeing a lot of "Kaeya doesn't care for Khaenri'ah" for a while now in various socmed but like... this is the same dude that:

1. kept a portion of his father's notes about his clan when it was supposed to be burned

2. tested out the waters with Venti/Barbatos by putting a threat/warning in a letter

3. technically tried to run away from Dawn Winery to be able to go to Sumeru to learn more about Khaenri'ah when he was a kid

4. has his play performance imply that he is annoyed/mad about his birth father's actions BUT would like to keep both enemy and home nations safe and at peace

5. Avoids elaborating on Khaenri'ah but unafraid to say that that is his ancestry (in fact, he uses it to his benefit)

6. chose to keep using "Alberich" as a surname (he had his chances to change it, and no one could call him out, and yet he kept it? Again, what for?)

7. is torn with the idea of duty to his home nation and the love that Mond gave to him (character stories)

tbh I think Kaeya still cares for Khaenri'ah (whether it is because of his father's orders, or his own heart yearning for what could have been, or that he simply and genuinely loves his heritage). We still have Mona's voiceline saying that he has to make a choice someday, so clearly something is eating up his mind.

What I do theorize Kaeya is trying to do is to look for a different solution where he doesn't have to choose between Khaenri'ah and Mondstadt. That's what his Veluriyam Mirage vision is for- a mixture of the star of Khaenri'ah and the vision case of Mondstadt. In a realm where your dreams could be a reality, he decided to give himself both.

And honestly, could he possibly have both someday? Or does he need to realize that he can only have one?

#i like to post this idea regularly coz some of yall be forgetting that this man actually cares too much #kaeya #kaeya alberich #him avoiding Khaenri'ah talks could be taken as him not liking Khaenri'ah... #but then why was he doing literally everything else? #if he truly doesnt want anything to do with khaenriah #why keep his fathers notes? why keep using Alberich as a surname? why put a target on his back? #why cant he be hannah montana and have the best of both worlds???

[unexpectedbrickattack]

babpy.

#pizza tower #peppino #arts #mine #happy pride; heres a little otter for u #hes like very early 20s here #happy and unbothered before the Horrors happened #it is NOT his 30s bc he needs to exude raw dilf energy by that point #but for now he is anxious and sweet and awkward #not that i dont draw him like that already but its like 10x here #its PALPABLE #okay mwah i will hopefully come back w more than just sketches that mean nothing skjfsdjkfdhfhsk #i have LITERALLY been on this commission for WEEKS i need someone to take me out back and put me out of my misery i swear #im going to finish the lines TODAY like i cant be this person i cant keep coming back to this fucking comm w no progress ill simply Die #its like singlehandedly preventing me from doing anything else; its making a mental block waaaaaaaau #but i feel like i am breaking through it today. at least i HOPE i am sdkjfsdjkfjsdkf #um if u are still here ilu. send me some anons; i want to be chatty but the messages i have feel like i need to respond w essays #and i literally. cannot. #at least until i get my head screwed on properly again

[kedreeva]

Eddie Munson's message as a character should never have been that he needed to stop running and fight to be a hero. It should have been that heroism can look a lot of different ways. It should have been you don't have to be a hero to have worth.

#eddie munson #stranger things #yes I am still mad #no I will not be stopping soon #but you're going to get meta tomorrow about something else #no it will not make anything better #yes it will make you mad too hopefully #also not for nothing but #Literally El's whole arc was the same thing #they tried to play it like it wasn't #but after spending a frankly bullshit amount of time #showing us how she was floundering without her powers #they dropped Mike going you're a superhero and El going Not Anymore #and then she has to get her powers back to save everyone #which like yeah okay she's literally the only one who can do that #but listen‚ look me in my eyes #she really could have used someone like eddie #to teach her that she doesn't need to be a hero to have worth #she's not listening to anyone else because they've all experienced her with superpowers #But Eddie didn't even see her defeat vecna at all #idk I'm just. the possibilities!!!!! the character development!!! #they could have had narrative parallels!!! #ugh

[puppyeared]

its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to #im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but #because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of #exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something #and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh #and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing #because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant #even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still #its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn…. #if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about #I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird #maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel #a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t #I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to #be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol #idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week #had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting #yapping #does this count as vent #vent #Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly

[ihateornithologists]

#elisabeth das musical #and things that happened to me irl xD #i finally did thissss #it's so funny to do actually and it almost works like sort of therapy so why not #like wow i can finally talk about this and even draw related things without wanting to throw up immediately #for more context (yep again) i had severe depression years ago and at some point my brain was so fucked up by illness that #i started seeing [one of those guys i'm always talking about] literally as an embodiment of everything bad in my life #well HE WAS #but like i so strongly identified him with my depression that sometimes even doubted if he was a real person at all lmao #(YOU SEE WHY I'M DRAWING THIS) #he somehow managed to follow me everywhere which made things even more creepy. #and i kept coming back to him myself because i had no one else etc #so funny actually that he was literally JUST SOME GUY like not even interesting or anything #all this shit was just awful and gross that's all. #but when i realized i can make it look COOL by drawing stuff i felt so powerful ahsdijwhnu8 #like YES i texted him recently and he's just. boring as fuck. #so dumb to feel possessed by some evil entity for years and the said evil entity is just a random dude #SORRY my traumadumping is cringe af but thats the price you have to pay to see my drawings xDddd

[oceanwithouthermoon]

sometimes i think about how the people who hate on my takes on here would talk to each other and its always phrased like the twitter fandom drama i see but completely irrational and it makes me giggle

"calling kusuke abusive just because he shot his brother with a lethal weapon, plotted his murder, planned to use their grandparents to assist in hurting/killing him, and tried for years to expose his secret to the entire world against his will and through knowingly hurtful means in order to destroy everything he cared about is so stupid! what a stretch!"

"the saiki k fandom is so damn sensitive. i shoot my brother with massive guns all the time and its not abusive because he just blocks it!" HELPEKSJJSJSKSKKS

#sorry i have absolutely no beef with anyone this is just funny #its just an opinion and i have nothing against people with a different opinion than me #its just funny how they think IM irrational when this is legitimately their thought process #and they come directly onto MY page and cry about people having diff opinions #like girl u do NOT see me doing that shit thats so embarrassing stop #im not even a kusuke hater like thats my man #but even if i was- i dont get why that bothers people so much like y r u so scared of different opinions #i sometimes talk about teru or saiki haters i dont like but that isnt defined by 'literally anyone who doesnt like them' #idgaf if people hate my fav characters- i just hate the WAY certain people hate them that shows they didnt understand the show #YOUR definition of 'evil kusuke haters who must be purged from this fandom' is literally anyone who has an opinion on him- #-that isnt sunshine and rainbows and kusuke is the most morally right and sympathetic character and nobody else deserves him !1!1! ur crazy #oh this isn't targeted at any specific person btw im just being dramatic #i havent acknowledged this at all in months idk what compelled me to do so now #the single anon that barely even said anything just made me think back to this #nobody gets him like i do i swear i swear #saiki k #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k. #saiki kusuke #meows post

[designernishiki]

it’s kinda funny to me how that dumb scene in kiwami 1 of majima getting shot and left for dead in the harbor was basically just added as a half-assed way to explain majima not being around for a bit of the plot, but they accidentally(?) just made it seem like start of a chain reaction where majima ended up feeling slighted and heartbroken after being abandoned like that and then lashed out about it via smashing a big truck into the building kiryu was in. and yeah that isn’t inherently a romantic thing as-is but then they go and add the part where majima grabs a hostess and performatively hits on her as in-kiryu’s-face as possible, she says she’s already in love with someone, and majima lets her go immediately, no questions asked, making a big fucking point of it just to say see THAT kiryu? I appreciate when people are HONEST about their FEELINGS. people who won’t just BACKSTAB someone who CARES about them to save themselves. is that so crazy kiryu?? huh??? anyway make it up to me get down here and fight me right fucking now

#I think on another level he was sorta saying like ‘hey kiryu. you’re making it extremely clear that you don’t trust me and my intentions #and I’ve been trying to show you- over and over again- that I’d do just about anything for you and your safety #but I can’t just let my mask fall off in front of everyone- I need to keep up the unpredictable morally grey wildcard act for both my sake #AND yours. because disguising my helping you as crazy random violent outbursts and weird stalker behavior #is the only way I CAN help you. do you think it would go over well with shimano or literally anyone else if I was outright helping you out #of the kindness of my heart and fondness for you? stop being so fucking dense and look past the crazy wacky nonsense for a second and #maybe you’ll realize that all I do at the end of the day- really- is help you and put my own life and reputation on the line for you. #I am an honest guy when it comes to my real values and when I told you I wouldn’t let anyone kill you unelss it was myself- I meant it. #I’ve taken a knife and a bullet for you now. can you REALLY not see through the act yet? am I REALLY that unpredictable when you think about #it?’ #that was a longer explanation than i intended but. it was difficult to put into words #I basically feel like it could be read as him implying kiryu shouldn’t backstab the people who put themselves on the line to help him #and/or pointing out that he’s never actually done kiryu dirty and has stuck to his word protecting him in the ways he can #trying to say yeah all this is a crazy act and all but when it comes down to it you Can trust me #it really makes sense when you think about it that he’d have to help kiryu/show affection towards kiryu in unpredictable convoluted ways #at that point in time because. I mean. there’s a reason he was the only person who showed up to welcome kiryu when he got out of prison #and that’s because A) he sticks to his word and his loyalty to people he cares about and B) no one else had the balls or the batshit insane #mask to wear to ward off anyone asking real questions like majima did. because ANYONE associating themselves with the supposed #patriarch-killer was a HUGE NO-NO at the time. someone important showing up for kiryu and welcoming him back outright could’ve caused #all-out warfare probably. except majima. because majima was dedicated and smart enough to use his widely-feared wildcard persona #(that everyone tended to view as incapable of having any Real agenda to worry about) to his And kiryu’s advantage #does that make sense??? I feel like it makes a lot of sense if you get it to click in your head #kazumaji #majima #kiryu #yakuza #kiwami 1 #yk1 #rambling

[stuckinapril]

.

#I’m only very rarely inclined to get this intimate w my thoughts so I might as well say it NOW butttt I will never not see the dead children #In everything I do #Like legit #I’ve read up on Hind so extensively and seen so many photos of her #And I have a very healthy relationship w the popular Palestinian journalists so she’s not my blorbo or anything #But hearing that memo destroyed me bc bisan is only 23 and she seemed so vivacious #Idk like I do normal people things I can’t just pause on my life #But idk how it feels like to sit at a boba place and enjoy my pearl milk tea w my friends #While the horrors over there don’t just lurk the back of my mind. I do normal things and I’m guilty for having the luxury #And as an Iraqi girl I’m living in the literal ideal timeline #Where my mom decided to immigrate to the us and that’s why I’m here living a normal life like everyone else #It’s like in a different world if I were born in a different time it could’ve so easily been me. I’m one of the Lucky Ones idk #It’s not survivor’s guilt bc it’s not like I had to survive anything like I never had the chance to live in Iraq or anything #But like. If some things had fallen just a little differently #And I keep thinking about how I’d feel if it were happening to Iraq and people behaved the way they’re doing to Palestinians #I’d be so mad #And some people on here are dealing w assholes while bursting at the seams w grief #For losing their loved ones #This is why I’m so fucking angry at anyone who’s complicit #This was a major tangent but basically I feel weird about doing normal things now while simultaneously knowing I can’t just sit and wallow #And watch life pass by as if it’ll do anything #Misery is not a home but I’m struggling to be 100% normal #And I think that this tonal dissonance is reflecting on my blog too bc I can’t go back to just #Posting about all the other normal things I used to. Like I want to but sometimes I feel off. #Is this anything. I haven’t slept all night #I can’t just allow myself to lose interest in everything I used to like and be and just fade away but maybe it’s about accepting that this #Will also always be a part of me now. It’s that awareness that shadows everything I do #or maybe I need a therapist it’s a toss up #I’ll probably feel better once I get my day started but this was cathartic to voice I think #p

[obihoe]

obito's version of madara's life and konoha's foundation etc. is so funny like it just makes no fucking scents! lol. like .. i remember when i read this for the first time i was like um. huh?? like madara and his motives, it all seems so nebulous in there. the uchiha and senju, they want to make peace but madara is like ugh, no, i would rather keep fightinggg 😣 but then he's like alright man, whatever, we will make peace but THEN. hashirama wants to become hokage (which .. not true) and like madara, again, is like ummm no, EYE want to become hokage (also not true) lets fight to the death abt it. and also his clansmen, they hate him (that part is true i guess) but he also did tell them before that he'd rather keep fighting! so his brother's sacrifice would be worth it like obito is like "i told them WHERE is ur fighting spirit?? where has all ur hatred and willingness to keep killing each other gone" or smth and like "madara" in the memory is shown to like rant abt it to his clansmen who then do decide that they hate him (which. understandable?? LMFAO) and at some point he's like well they BETRAYED me :( so i left the village to come back later and fucking blow the shit out of it like it just doesnt make any sense? Madara makes no sense in this story. maybe the real madara was just fucking senile as fuck when he told obito all of this but like obviously he also wanted to hide some details. no details abt him and hashirama, no details abt the nature of their bond and his death etc. but i think he might also just not be a very good liar. asfsgdhds. like he just doesnt fill in the blanks very well. doesnt seem so concerned abt how all that makes HIM look either. he's just like yeah, i was obsessed with power and battle so i destroyed everything for myself ^_^ not MY fault tho. write this down. and obito is like alright alright .. ✍🤨 sure

#obito #posts #madara #ASFLDSFS #i think its also very funny to hear obt present HIMSELF that way #like he's like 'i sought ever more power ... even didnt hold back from hurting or killing my loved ones for it' like ummm #okay WHO would just calmly say this abt themselves tho. like hiii i am insane i'll do anything for power btw ^_^ #it seems so fucking weird/unbelievable but sasuke gets a pass for believing him #since he's got literally other shit to worry abt #and u know. maybe he didnt actually believe him either. the itachi part is whats relevant here #everything else is just fucking. noise to him

[yourlittlettoy]

Alright, it’s long overdue but let’s finally get a lil intro post going ☺️

Hi everyone!! My name is Cece 💕👋🏻 it’s so very nice to see you here 🥰😉

My pronouns are she/her 🎀 , I’m in my 20s 🙆🏻‍♀️, I’m bisexual 🤝🏻, and I’m a… lee 🙈 (18+ only on this account pls and thx ☺️)

T-wording (yeah yeah I can’t say the t-word, sue me lmao) is certainly my main kink, but I may or may not also have certain other “preferences” as well 😳 but you’ll have to find those out yourself if you were so inclined ~

I’m a shy gal, despite sharing more than a reasonable amount of traits as a typical golden retriever lol. I’m very nerdy, enthusiastic, curious to a fault, certified member of the good girl’s club 😇, and have so much love 4 u 💖💘💗!! However, unfortunately for you, even the love won’t stop me from being a serious pain in the butt. Consider this your warning ⚠️😂.

Last thing I really want to mention, is that I am not good at being consistent when it comes to responding to messages/asks. I just want to make it clear right now that: my response times or responses at all (or potentially lack thereof) does not reflect a lack of affection and/or enthusiasm towards getting to know you, valuing you, or appreciating your interaction! I truly am so thankful for each and every one of you that take time out of your day to reach out/interact with lil ol’ me 🥺 and in a perfect world I would be responding to everything and everyone with full attention and time devotion! I just also lead a busy life outside of Tumblr and often time is simply scarce. Please grant me this grace 😊 and believe me when I say I LOVE READING ALL YOUR INTERACTIONS whether I have a chance to tell you that in a response or not! Thank you for this treat even though I can’t always reciprocate 💞 (feel free to double/triple etc message to keep yourself at the top of my inbox if you really want a response tho! Cause believe me I wanna give it to you! So the frequent reminder helps!)

Anyway, if you made it all the way here, thank you for reading my intro post!! Welcome to my blog! Hope you enjoy your stay here 😚💝 stay lovely ✨💫⭐️

#intro post #omg I kinda just typed what I felt like typing here #let me know if there’s anything else you wanted to know about me? #or anything else you think I should have included here? #I can go back and edit it as we go! #cece speaks #about me #sorry the part about response times was literally so long lmao #kinda overtook the introductory part of the post XD #but it was a big issue on my heart! I really do care about you guys I don’t want you to think I’m ignoring on purpose or smth #so here we are! #love you guys! #hope this post helps!

[redysetdare]

Sometimes I'll see posts from people being like "It's okay to enjoy shipping you guys! being a shipper isn't bad!" and it's like.... bro be honest did someone actually tell you that you were a bad person for enjoying shipping or did you read some posts by aspecs about them criticizing fandom culture around shipping and you took it personally?

#text #aro #aromantic #fandom #shipping #because genuinely I've never seen one aspec say that shipping is bad or people shouldn't do it #i've just seen some aspecs saying 'wow i wish people would focus on something else for once" #because it's near impossible to interact with anything in fandom without it inevitably circling back to shipping #like bro if you're feeling victimized for being a shipper then you can like... #not interact with the aspec ppl voicing their distaste for shipping in fandoms #literally the entire fandom space is right there and in support of you #you aren't really expressing a unpopular opinion here buddy

[mumblesplash]

man i’ve had pretty serious art block before in the past but it was always more a lack of inspiration/irl stuff draining all my energy, currently Not having art block but getting hit by my first bout EVER of feeling like i just straight up can’t make anything that’s good enough and oh my god how do people deal with this

#i have zero mental defenses against this bc it’s never happened to me #like i know i’m being stupid here bc i feel like everything ive ever drawn is somehow worse than anything anyone else has ever drawn #which first of all cannot possibly be the case bc art is subjective and also i’m not that special #and second of all ‘this means i’m bad at everything’ is not a reaction i have EVER had to art i consider ‘better’ than mine #i’ve always just been excited by the opportunity to learn how to do a new cool art thing i couldn’t do before #like what is happening here why did my brain broke #on the bright side this doesn’t seem to be even slowing me down from writing and drawing things and posting them anyway #but i could really do without the accompanying dramatics in the back of my head #‘you can’t post this you are an affront to art history and the whole of humanity’ shut Up brain it’s literally minecraft fanart for fun #anyway all this to say. thank you everyone being nice in the notes of my silly lil poems you’re gonna make me cry #mumbling

[wikiangela]

seven-ish sentence sunday

tagged by @disasterbuckdiaz @jamespearce9-1-1 @daffi-990 💖

hi! i finally found some time to write today but im still not fully back to posting tbh bc i'm still so exhausted lol i just missed writing too much in those three days i wasn't writing, and figured why not share haha

prev snippet (whyy doesn't it show up in the tag, i had to go to archive to look for it smh)

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“Why are you still wearing pants?” Eddie complains, hands fumbling with Buck’s belt buckle, but with much less finesse than Buck, way too hurried, getting another laugh out of Buck, and aside from the insane arousal and desire, Eddie is washed over by a wave of fondness. Eddie could spend the rest of his life just listening to his laughter. And he’s going to. Because they’re married. He married his best friend, and now he gets him forever. His heart is so full of love and happiness, he doesn’t know what else to do than to just kiss Buck again, deeply and passionately, hands abandoning Buck’s belt – thankfully Buck takes over and rids himself of his pants quickly enough, then helping Eddie fully out of his own, all while not breaking the kiss once. 

“Better?” Buck asks, pulling away to raise his eyebrow at him. Eddie just nods eagerly, eyes raking all over Buck’s chest. He licks his lips, turning them both around, so now Buck’s back is towards the bed, and takes another few steps forward, until the backs of Buck’s knees hit the bed. Then he pushes Buck onto it gently, and he goes easily, looking up at Eddie with a loving smile and a hungry look in his eyes. 

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no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @gaydiaz @diazass @thebravebitch @silentxxsoul @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @arthursdent @diazblunt @911onabc @spagheddiediaz @housewifebuck @gayhoediaz @rogerzsteven @watchyourbuck @monsterrae1 @honestlydarkprincess @underwater-ninja-13 @eowon @exhuastedpigeon @weewootruck @loserdiaz @evanbegins @steadfastsaturnsrings @ladydorian05 @malewifediaz @pirrusstuff @theotherbuckley @911-on-abc @spotsandsocks @hoodie-buck @giddyupbuck @wildlife4life @fortheloveofbuddie @nmcggg @diazpatcher @jeeyuns @jesuisici33 @thewolvesof1998 @lover-of-mine @hippolotamus

#married buddie smut #seven sentence sunday #fic snippet #buddie #buddie fic #buddie wip #wikiangela writes #my writing #my wips #they just laugh and tease and joke the whole time lol - this is my fave thing in buddie smut tbh haha #it's been like three days why do i feel like it's been literal months lmao #ngl work is killing me rn and i so need to look for anything else bc this was supposed to be temporary anyway lol #but anyway im still here reading all of y'alls snippets and ill be fully back to writing in like a week probably haha

[rosenfey]

does anyone else here have several games in their rotation that they play at the same time or is it just me

#ambie.txt #I feel so bad for doing this because I literally don't know anyone else #i always see mutuals and friends focus on one game at a time and my brain considers that as the normal™ behavior #but I often tend to switch between games or play sth different for a day or two and then go back to other things #and idk idk I am always feeling like I'm doing it wrong and I should only play one game at a time #because I would get confused or it would break my immersion or whatev #idk it just feels proper™ to have one main fixation and when I don't have that and have several things to play #I feel like I am doing it wrong and then I get depressed and just. stop doing anything #I know this is a silly problem to have but I just feel like ass today and i have anhedonia and my brain likes to ruin things for me sometime

[nerime]

my coworkers are being turbo transphobic and literally refuse to listen to answers to questions they fucking ask argh!!! I can just tell you!!! I can just answer you!!!!! I have answers!!! to the ridiculous questions you ask in a mocking way!!!! if you listen for one second I can just fucking explain!!!! 😡😭😡😭

#they ask why would trans men NEED tampons for men since they are WOMEN why cant they juat use WOMEN ones those stupid silly women ugh #they keep coming back to the topic #and im like hey they are not women ^_^ and try to explain the concept #in easy kindergarten terms like hey you know how you wouldnt want to buy pink girly items because you are a (cis) guy! well #and them im cut off with more transphobic shit before i can say anything else #my coworker literally said her son told her and her husband they were playing spin the bottle on a school trip #and she asked so did you kiss any girls? and he said #sure when it landed on a girl then i kissed a girl (implying he also kissed guys) #and she said her husband was so shocked because hes conservative #while she said she just ordered the son not to say anything else #and she tells us 'i think he was just testing us or something' #wtf. i said well okay maybe he was testing your reactions and now hes not gonna tell you shit anymore #and she went like hm 🤔 #also the irony of saying her HUSBAND is conservative while she fucking. misgenders trans men all day and jokes about gay men constantly #in a nasty way #all of them do #im so tired #she complained kids nowadays are so caaual about gay people #and i said okay well i love it personally they should keep it up #and NO ONE at the table supported/agreed with me #sorry i am on a work trip and suffering #transphobia tw #neri stfu