#wanna guess how long my little reblog is or what was meant to be little anyway

[actual-changeling]

I know that Ellie eventually going to school is a pretty much universally accepted part of the world building, but I am itching to explore her trying to do so and simply being unable to do it.

The child abuse she went through at the hands of FEDRA was probably prolific and cruel, and her life was basically nothing but different kinds of "education" strung together, whether that's whatever they cobbled together for general education or the military training. Joel might know it was bad (cause it's fucking FEDRA), but the extend of her trauma is hard to gauge when you are not in a situation that triggers it.

Her academic trauma does not disappear outside of school, but unless Ellie is in a similar situation it simply won't be immediately obvious (speaking from experience). On top of that, David being a teacher does not help whatsoever.

-

Joel and Ellie agree on a first day of school, but they want to check out the building beforehand, just so they're both a bit more at peace. Ellie is somewhat excited but also scared, and the closer they get to the building, the quieter she becomes, just hanging onto Joel's hand and squeezing it until her knuckles turn white. He pulls her close, notices she is nervous, but he doesn't press and gets them inside. One of the handful of teachers, a woman about Joel's age (they're aware enough to not have it be a man, Silver Lake is a known topic), meets them at the door and shows them around.

Small classrooms with surprisingly comfortable looking wooden chairs (Ellie sees the pillows on them and her mind short-circuits), some old sofas and couches, armchairs, spacious desks and all kinds of posters and materials. There's an art room and it is the only time Ellie's grip on Joel loosens a tiny bit, the array of brushes, paints, and instruments fascinates her, but that moment passes as quickly as it came.

With every step they take, the teacher's voice blurs with Joel's and turns into white noise, her vision grows fuzzy and grey, and she has to keep blinking with fluttering lashes to not sway on her feet when the dissociation gets worse. Absently, her mind keeps cataloguing the floor plan, windows, doors, all exists she can make our and imagine, but by the end of the tour, she cannot remember anything past leaving their house this morning. Something tugs on her hand, and she blinks up at Joel, his gaze loaded with a question she didn't hear, and maybe ten weeks ago she would have pretended she had; she doesn't know.

Ellie doesn't even know why she is reacting like this, there are no specific memories popping up, nothing to fight back, just her mind and body slipping into a protective armor of static like they're pulling her into the fizzling TV in their living room.

"Ellie?"

The teacher's voice snaps her back to a pounding heart and a breath stuck in her lungs, and when she looks down at their clasped hands her nails have left marks in Joel's skin. She lets go at once, holding onto her wrists with her arms behind her back, and she still didn't hear the question. Every cell in her body is telling her to leave, pulling her toward the nearest exit, but she doesn't. There are memories flickering across her vision now, a decade of unjust, painful punishments and her body being pushed to its breaking point, and she decides the answer to that question is more important than whatever they had asked her.

"What do you do? For, like, punishment?"

Her voice is steadier than she is on her feet, so she rocks gently back and force to stop herself from swaying. Joel's gaze burns hot on her cheeks, but she keeps her eyes on the teacher, whose eyebrows are raised so high they disappear beneath her fringe.

"Punishment? We don't- there's not reason to punish forgotten homework or the like here, Ellie, it's supposed to be both fun and educational."

Something about the tone in her voice unsettles her, but the answer isn't satisfying, and she needs to know, needs to know the rules so she can follow them, because the art room looks like it might actually be fun to be in and she is so tired of dark lonely spaces and marks on her back; imagining the disappointed look on Joel's face when her teachers tell him about it is the worst of it all, though.

"What are the rules? When are the drills and what's the consequences for breaking the rules? Is there-" is there a hole, she wants to ask, but her breathing is fast and shallow, periphery dotted with dancing black spots, and she doesn't want to give them any ideas they didn't already have. Joel's hand lands on her back, right between her shoulder blades, and the warm weight his comforting without being oppressive, her breaths slowing just a smidge.

The woman with a name Ellie forgot is taller than Joel with the shoes she is wearing, and she she squats down, the look on her foreign face looks like a a finished puzzle, the final piece having snapped into place. Her features are rounded, soft, a stark contrast to the borderline malnourished and hardened look of pretty much every person around the QZ including her teachers, a few light-brown and grey strands escaping from her ponytail, and Ellie can't help but think that she looks - nice, non-threatening. School isn't supposed to be non-threatening, but this whole building is dripping with it, and it scares her to death; getting this ripped away from her as punishment will hurt even more than escaping packed, concrete classrooms.

"You grew up in a FEDRA school, right?" she asks, voice almost tender, and Ellie can only stare and nod while Joel rubs circles into her back.

"I heard stories about what it was like before I came here, horrible experiences no one should have to go through, especially not a child."

She sounds so much like Joel the comfort laced into her words manages to penetrate the static and soothe some of the panic, her eyes a bright hazel shade, not blue, and she keeps her distance even though she could easily get into Ellie's personal space

"Even before the outbreak, school wasn't like that, and it is definitely not like that here. There is no punishments, Ellie, no real rules or structure outside of general lesson plans, no consequences for not turning in work or being late. This is meant to provide some stability and education, give you a places to hang out with people your age, have some more people to connect with. If you don't want to be here, no one will force you."

Ellie doesn't cry. She doesn't. A deep breath and some determined blinking pull back the tears from her waterline and her chest aches with a vengeance when she thinks about how different it would have been here for her and Riley, how much better. Riley would still be alive. For a few minutes, they're all silent, allowing her to gather the scattered pieces of herself and glue them back together, and when she does, a tiny bit of the fear in her bones has made space for tentative excitement.

"I like the art room," she says quietly, feeling younger than she ever has, and a wave of something washes over all of them. "Do I- can I-"

"You can use it whenever you like, even outside of school hours, as long as you don't leave too much of a mess and use it responsibly."

Liliya, her brain finally provides, straightens her back again, and the lack of a last name during her introduction is probably part of what through her off. Ellie looks up at Joel, a muscle in his jaw ticking with suppressed anger, not at her, at FEDRA, she knows him well enough to realize that, and decides her question about The Hole is both best saved for another time and hopefully not relevant at all.

"Okay," Ellie responds, pressing herself back against Joel and melting when his arm protectively wraps around her shoulders, "I'll give it a try."

Over the relief rushing through her hairs, she barely hears the details the adults next to her discuss, happy to bury her face in Joel's shirt without shame, and she manages to shake off the last wisps of static clinging to her. Maybe this will work out for her, maybe it won't, maybe all she will use are the art supplies, but when they are lead back to the entrance, more than ready to go home, Liliya gives her a smile, eyes crinkling. For the first time in her life, Ellie smiles back at a teacher simply because she wants to, and the hopeful excitement sprouting in her chest is enough to tell her that she will be right on time for her first class on Monday.

#alex writes tlou #the last of us #tlou #joel and ellie #ellie williams #joel miller #ficlet #fedra school #some riley pain for Z <33 #joel is a good fucking dad and that teachers is a good person #and ellie has mommy issues and can and will get attached but more about that later #ellie has academic trauma in so many ways this is literally not even scratching the surface but it scratched my itch for now #wanna guess how long my little reblog is or what was meant to be little anyway #wanna take a big fucking guess? #if you guessed 1.3k aka a WHOLE ASS FIC you are correct #i cant- i cant even anymore #anyway #back to doing literally anything else

[cevansbrat0007]

Sugar Fix

Summary: Your poor attempt at a joke lands you in hot water with your man. Takes place directly after the events in Sweet Tooth and Sweet Tooth Deluxe.

Warnings: Mature Themes, Smut, Ari Being A Menace, Brat!Reader, Discussions of Poor Body Image, Arguing, Manhandling, Mentions of Punishment, Spanking, Pussy Spanking, Spanking, Oral Sex (fem rec), Cursing, Minors DNI

A/N: Written for @writer84. Part of my Sweet Renegades Series. Semi-proofread, not beta'd. All mistakes are my own. Likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated. Thanks for reading!

“God, that was good.” You lean back in your seat, lazily stretching your arms over your head. Your man smiles as he dutifully picks up your plate before briefly giving into temptation long enough to press a tender kiss against your lips. 

“Mm.” Ari hums low in his throat as he repeats the action once more. “Glad you enjoyed it, baby. Still find it hard to believe that you’d never had chocolate chip pancakes before today.”

“Hey! You promised you wouldn’t make fun of me.” You pout, reaching out to swat his perfectly sculpted ass, which was now unfortunately hiding beneath a pair of black sweatpants. At least he’d forgotten to put on a shirt.

Mostly because you were wearing it. 

“And I’m not.” Your man chuckles while adding your dishes to the growing pile in your sink. “I’d never do something so foolish. Especially since we only just made up.” He tosses a wink at you over his shoulder. 

Yeah, and that was mostly your fault.

“I am really sorry about that.” You murmur, feeling a twinge of regret over having subjected your man to several days of the silent treatment. “I should’ve talked to you about that whole business with Charline.” 

“Water under the bridge, baby.” 

Resting your chin on your hand, you watch as your bounty hunter busies himself with filling the sink with hot water and dish soap. Some days it still floored you that you were seeing a man who didn’t put up a fuss about cooking. Or cleaning for that matter.  

“I just meant that I’m in no hurry to have you toss me out on my ass again just yet.” He continues while sudsing up one of the new sponges you’d left laying on the counter. “That’s all I was saying, little Bird.”

“Well that wouldn’t be very hospitable of me, now would it?” You’re quick to counter, allowing your gaze to drop to your bare knees. “Seeing as you were kind enough to break into my home and cook me breakfast.”

“I had a key.” He snorts dismissively. 

“Yeah, one that you stole!” You fire back, doing your best to hide your grin. “From me!”

“What the hell does any of that matter if you were already gonna–” He cuts himself off with a shake of his head before deciding to change tactics. “Look sweetheart, if you wanna argue about semantics can you at least wait until we’re both naked?” 

“I guess so.” Comes your breezy reply as you fiddle with the hem of Ari’s t-shirt. Granted the fit was much too big for you, but it didn’t change the fact that you loved how wearing it made you feel. There really was something to be said for being surrounded by the heady scent of your man. 

“Thank you.” Ari grunts before returning his attention to the stack of dishes in need of a good scrub. “Did you have enough to eat? Can’t have you wastin’ away on me.”

“Sure did.” You beam at him, content to sit back and enjoy the view. No man should be allowed to look that flippin’ sexy while doing simple household chores.

“Good.”

“To be honest, I didn’t even realize I was that hungry until I took that first bite. I suppose that’s what I get for not really eating…” You trail off when Ari turns toward you, his piercing blue eyes locking with yours. “...much over the last couple days.” 

Your pulse speeds up as you watch your Bounty Hunter brace his still-wet hands on the edge of the counter. Which is when you belatedly realize that you probably should’ve kept that tidbit of information to yourself. 

“Little Bird?” 

“Yes, sugar?” You can’t help but wince at the way he says your name. Even still, you decide to stand up, hoping to distract him from the direction his thoughts were taking. “Want some help drying those plates? Because I don’t mind–”

“When was the last time you ate something?” He cocks his head to the side, almost like he’s studying you while he waits for your answer. “And before you get cute on me, baby, I’m talkin’ about before today.”

You can feel yourself physically wilt as you weigh your options. While you tended to believe that honesty was the best policy, sometimes being too honest had the tendency to get you in trouble with your man. 

“I had some toast the other–”

“A full meal.” Ari swiftly interrupts, clearly not in the mood to mince words.

“Well, if you really must know…” Crossing your arms over your chest, you prepare to stand your ground. “I haven’t found myself with much of an appetite lately.” You sniff, ignoring the way his nostrils flare. “Probably on account of our tiff.”

Okay, now that was absolutely true. Because whether this man realized it or not, he had a knack for always making sure you ate at least one proper meal before the day’s end. With him out of the picture, you hadn’t really had any desire to eat. 

Instead of responding, Ari turns to stare out the window, quietly sucking on his teeth as he does. You knew without asking that he was working to rein in his temper before he spoke again, lest he say the wrong thing and start another fight.  

“C’mon Beast, it’s really not a big deal.” You shrug, biting your thumb as will him to cast a glance your way. “Besides, I’m pretty sure these hips could stand to miss a meal or two.” 

While it was certainly a poor attempt at levity, you felt that one of you had to do something to lighten the mood. You startle when Ari suddenly throws down the sponge into the sink, sending water splashing everywhere. 

You watch him slowly dry his hands with a nearby towel before tossing it aside in favor of bridging the distance between you. Good sense and the need for self-preservation has you backing up; however, you scarcely make it two steps before you feel your butt collide with your kitchen table. But your bounty hunter doesn’t stop moving until he’s standing directly in front of you.

“What was that?” He asks without an ounce of friendliness in his tone. In fact, his question comes out sounding more like a dare than anything else. “I reckon I’m a little hard of hearing these days.”

Later, you would kick yourself for taking the bait. 

“Ahem.” Clearing your throat, you can’t help but notice the clench of his jaw. “I said that these hips – my hips – could probably stand to miss a meal.” You repeat, giving him your best prim and proper tone. 

Sometimes the facts weren’t up for discussion. 

Moving with a speed that belies his size, Ari manages to wrap one brawny arm around your waist before using his considerable strength to pin you face down against the kitchen table. Shocked by this sudden mistreatment, you open your mouth fully prepared to protest, only to snap it shut the moment you feel a cool breeze ghost across your bare backside. 

“Try again, sweetheart.” The lawman grunts before delivering a hearty smack to your ass, eliciting a rather undignified screech from you. “Oh? I’m afraid I still didn’t quite catch that.” 

“There’s no need to act like a brute!” You cry as you struggle against his impossible hold. “It’s not right for you to–ahh fuck!” You damn near lose it when his heavy palm connects with your traitorous cunt, the sound of the wet slap echoing throughout the room. 

In that very moment, that sweet bite of pain had never felt so good.   

“Ah, sweetness.” Ari coos, a hint of mocking laughter curling around his tone. “Could’ve sworn I’d fucked some sense into you earlier this morning. Are you tellin’ me my work still isn’t done?” 

You think back to something he’d said when he was busy fucking you senseless. He’d said, or snarled as it were, that you needed a Sir or a Daddy to help keep you in line. At the time you’d assumed that he’d simply got caught up in the heat of the moment. But now… 

Apparently it takes you too long to answer because his next smack has you rising on your toes.  You clench your thighs together, desperate to ignore your body’s response. Although it does little to stop your man from wedging a proprietary hand between them anyway.

“Now is not the time to go quiet on me, little Bird.”

He gently cups your most intimate flesh before expertly parting your messy folds with his thick fingers. A soft cry escapes when he lightly pinches your swollen clit, making your hips buck. 

Sweet Christ! You honestly had no idea just how much you actually enjoyed being manhandled until you crossed paths with this guy. 

“All I was trying to do was answer your question!” You grit out, doing your best to ignore the filthy wet squelch of his palm colliding against your core once more, causing a fresh wave of arousal to dampen your thighs.  

“And I didn’t much care for your answer.” Ari hums, taking a moment to lazily pet your now glistening cunt. 

And who’s fault was that? Just because the man thought he owned the rights to your body didn’t give him the authority to…to…punish you like this. But when you inform him of that, the only response you get comes in the form of an annoying chuckle. 

“I was joking, damn you – ooh!” You whine, stomping your foot for good measure – both of which manages to earn you another spank. 

“But that’s just it, baby.” He rumbles, taking a break from further abusing your poor, overworked flesh. “Last I checked, jokes were supposed to be funny.” You press your face against the cool surface of the table as two sinful fingers playfully tease your entrance. “And talking shit about these curves ain’t funny, right?”

“Y-yes! I mean right.” In need of a little relief, you attempt to entice your man by wiggling your ass. But instead of doing as you bid, those same fingers soon find their way back to your swollen bundle of nerves, pinching just hard enough to get and hold your attention.

“Glad you think so.” He murmurs, leaning down to brush his lips along the sensitive shell of your ear as his free hand moves to rub soothing circles along your lower back. “And since I’ve finally got you in the mood to listen, how about we talk about something else?” 

Instead of responding, you merely nod – giving him leave to get whatever the hell he wanted off of his perfectly sculpted chest.  

“The next time you get the bright idea to shut me out without givin’ me a chance to plead my case, you had better do a damned good job respecting this gorgeous body while I’m on ice.” The air of danger in Ari’s husky purr has goosebumps rippling along your heated flesh. “Because if you don’t, I swear to God the moment you let me back in, I’m gonna do a lot more than spank this pretty pussy. You get me?”

Still unable to form words, you decide to let your body do the talking. Groaning low in your throat, you arch your hips and wiggle your ass, purposely grinding your cunt against his now drenched palm. 

“Ah, sweetheart.” He rasps in approval, gently nipping your earlobe with his sharp teeth. “You get me. Yeah, you do.” 

As a reward for your submission, Ari takes pity on you by slowly spearing his fingers inside your sopping wet core. Now it’s his turn to groan when he feels your velvety walls flutter around him, eagerly sucking him back in when he tries to pull out. 

“Fuck if my girl ain’t got a greedy fucking pussy.” Your bounty hunter muses, more to himself than to you. “Are you sore? Need me to let you rest some more?” 

In all reality, what he really wanted to do was splay you out on the table and kiss your puffy pussy lips until you were a sobbing, trembling mess. But he’d also settle for burying himself balls deep inside of you too.

Regardless of which one he chose, they both all but guaranteed that you’d remember this particular lesson for days to come. Because no one was allowed to talk shit about his beautiful Bird – not even you.  

“Want you to fill me up again.” You tell him, meaning every word even as his expert touch threatens to rob you of breath. “Help me work up an appetite. Please, Sir.” You tack on the last bit, hoping that might be enough to tip your man over the edge. 

Your now frantic pulse sings to new heights when you’re treated to the sound of Ari’s sweatpants hitting the floor behind you. Apparently he felt that you’d been punished long enough – something for which you were grateful. 

You can’t help but whine when he finally removes his fingers, leaving your empty walls clenching around nothing but air. Anticipation fills you while you wait, expecting to feel the bulbous head of his cock glide its way through your slippery folds. 

However, you’re surprised when he drops to his knees instead. His large, slightly calloused hands grip the backs of your thighs, forcing your legs apart just enough to make his intentions clear. 

“How ‘bout you feed me first, greedy girl?” He growls, possessively nuzzling his nose along the soft skin of your inner thigh. “I have a feeling I’m gonna need all my strength to help your stubborn ass work up a proper appetite.”

“Oo-okaay!” Your legs threaten to give out when Ari’s wide, flat tongue begins lapping at your damp flesh, making a show of savoring your sweet honey. He holds you in place while he feasts, his subtle use of strength letting you know that your only job was to keep still and submit to his sensual assault. 

“Mm...” Ari rumbles, enjoying every desperate little whine and whimper that makes its way past your lips. "Best meal I've had in days." Forgoing his need to breathe, he fully buries his head between your thighs, content to eat you from the back as if he had all the time in the world.

Which he did, especially now that make-up sex was once again back on the menu. 

END

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#cevansbrat0007 sweet renegade series #chris evans imagines #ari levinson imagines #chris evans fanfiction #ari levinson fanfiction #chris evans x you #ari levinson x you #chris evans x black!reader #ari levinson x black!reader #chris evans x woc!reader #ari levinson x woc!reader #chris evans x black reader #ari levinson x black reader #chris evans smut #ari levinson smut #chris evans x reader #chris evans x female!reader #chris evans x girlfriend!reader #ari levinson x reader #ari levinson x female!reader #ari levinson x girlfriend!reader #chris evans x poc!reader #ari levinson x yn #chris evans x yn #ari levinson x y/n #chris evans x y/n #ari levinson girlfriend!reader #chris evans x fem!reader #ari levinson x fem!reader #cevansbrat0007 fics

[soulprompts]

an unexpected arrival. (A PROMPT LIST!)

so a lovely anonymous angel asked for a list of prompts relating to an unexpected pregnancy, and i made a list! i have two other lists over on my other blog that i'm gonna reblog over here, but there may be some slight overlap with these; however, unlike the other two lists, these focus exclusively on the unexpected part. DON'T ADD TO THIS LIST, DON'T CLAIM IT AS YOUR OWN! but do have a tonne of fun with them!

" so, remember last week, when i had the flu and i couldn't leave my house? turns out it wasn't the flu. i'm pregnant. "

" i'm telling you about this baby because you deserve to know. that's all. i don't expect anything from you. i don't need you to step up or whatever. i just thought you ought to know. "

" i'm sure you don't need to be reminded, but... getting pregnant wasn't exactly part of the whole life plan. "

" you're sure? i mean, you did the test properly? maybe it was a false positive. or, or maybe you didn't read the results right... "

" a baby... well. that certainly complicates things, doesn't it? "

" i don't even know if i want kids. "

" could you please just stop reminding me that this isn't part of the plan?! you think i don't know that?! we're having a baby, i'm terrified enough without you reminding me! "

" look. i'm/you're not the first person to get pregnant, and i/you won't be the last. we're gonna figure it out, alright? "

" my place isn't even close to being big enough for a baby... they need so much stuff. cribs, prams, diaper stations... and my neighbors complain enough as it is, they'll evict me if i have a screaming baby as well... "

" hey... why don't you move in with me? i've got plenty of space, and my walls are thick, so the baby could scream as loud as they want. you could stay as long as you like. "

" should... we get married? i mean, that's what you do, isn't it? when someone's having a baby? "

" okay, we're not getting married. i mean, i appreciate the gesture, but... there's plenty of single parents out there. what's one more, right? "

" god... we are so stupid. i mean, seriously! any idiot knows that condoms aren't 100% effective! if we're dumb enough to forget that, how are we meant to look after a baby?! "

" you... you're kidding, right? this is a joke? it's a fake pregnancy test, some weird, slightly out of touch belated april fool's prank? "

" it's honestly insane that we didn't figure it out sooner... i mean, those were some wild cravings, right? "

" when you say late... do you mean like, a few days? or are we talking... months? "

" no, no, this... it changes everything. EVERYTHING. i... i don't know if i'm ready for this, i don't think i'm parent material, i... "

" hey. you're not alone. you got that? it takes a village, right? i'm gonna help you every step of the way. we all will. this kid, if you choose to go through with it... they'd be okay. "

" you know i support you. whatever choice you end up making. i will always be by your side. okay? "

" if this is some weird idea of a joke, i have to tell you, it's not funny. i mean, you're having a baby AND i'm somehow the dad? a little much, no? "

" no, i want to step up. it took two of us to make this baby, and i want to make sure you know that, if you go ahead with this, there's gonna be two of us to raise them, too. "

" the father doesn't believe that the baby is his. "

" okay. so screw the father. i'm going to be here to help you. okay? we'll parent this kid so well, they'll never want to know who their real dad is. "

" so... you wanna tell me who the father is? "

" the surprise baby is actually not just one baby. we're having twins/triplets/etc. "

" hey, hey... don't worry, okay? it's alright. it's all going to be okay. condoms break, yeah? it's no biggie... "

" what do you mean, you think?! haven't you taken a pregnancy test yet? "

" that's a lot of pregnancy books you got there... got something you want to tell me? "

" have you told the father yet? "

" i guess, seeing how you rushed over here so fast to tell me the news, that you think the baby is mine? "

" look, we both made plans, right? and obviously shit happens, but... a baby is a pretty massive deal. "

" how many other people have you told about the pregnancy? "

" what do you want to do? "

#pregnancy cw #pregnancy tw #tokophobia cw #tokophobia tw #roleplay meme #rp meme #sentence starters #ask meme #writing prompts #roleplay prompts #rp prompt

[xjoonchildx]

Yeah I totally agree as to how writers are leaving. I agree. Why are they leaving you think?

me figuring out how much trouble i wanna get in tonight

lmaoooooooooo

okay, listen. i have thoughts. i have observations. and i’m going to share some of them with you.

in my experience, most writers have been leaving for one of these three reasons:

1. engagement (rather, the lack thereof)

yeah, yeah i know, writers post about this a lot but here’s why: it’s true. readers on this site, for whatever reason, don’t interact with fics as much as they used to. even some fics that get a lot of likes may only have one or two comments, maybe a couple of reblogs with no feedback.

for what it’s worth, i’ve always felt that for the size of my blog (and how flipping long it takes me to post something) i get wonderful reader feedback and engagement. but i see so many writers struggling out in these tumblr streets, posting really great work that gets very little feedback and it’s discouraging for them. i get it.

i will also be transparent and say that as a writer who biases a “less popular member” it kills me when amazing stories about him (and other “less popular members”) just fall flat.

one of the best hobi stories i ever read had 20 notes when i found it by accident. twenty. it had been posted for some time. in my mind, that was a crime—that story was an absolute masterpiece and it had 20 notes (!). i sent it to every person i knew short of my mama because i was offended that people hadn’t recognized its brilliance. sadly, that writer left tumblr and took her masterpiece with her which brings me to my next point:

2. drama and writer-on-writer crime

phew y’all, there’s just so much of it. i don’t know what it is about tumblr that makes some people lose their absolute minds but they sure damned do. i’ve been here for a minute and i have seen it all.

writers mounting anonymous hate campaigns against one another (this happens a lot). writers mounting anonymous hate campaigns against people they pretended were friends (this one happens a lot a lot). writers sending themselves a boatload of hate anons to get sympathy and attention on the dash (this one happens a lot a lot a lot).

popular writers going out of their way to befriend up-and-coming writers only to then turn around and start nasty whisper campaigns about them when the up-and-coming writer’s blogs and stories eclipse their own in popularity.

insecurity is a hell of a drug.

there are some writers who get on here and they’re cool and they stay cool and they enjoy success and guess what? they’re cool about it.

and then there are the writers who get a few thousand followers and a bunch of notes and delude themselves into thinking they’re real-life celebrities. to those writers i would say: pick the fanciest restaurant in your city, call to make a reservation on a friday night and if they don’t have a slot make sure you let them know you’re really big on tumblr. let me know how that works out for you, okay?

it sounds stupid and it is stupid but this happens on this site all the time. what makes me sad is that it drives people away. they take their personalities and stories and contributions to this insane little space we have here with them, which sucks. the author of that amazing hobi fic? deactivated her account over tumblr drama.

so if you have a blog here and you are so wrapped up in jealousy and insecurity that you feel the need to harass someone off the site (including “friends”), log off and seek help.

3. life (adulting, sigh)

this is the boring one, but it still tracks. this community blew up when covid hit and we all had a lot more time to muse about what kim namjoon would look like in his underwear. but so many people had to get back to the grind after a while, and that meant less time for tumblr and for writing in general (wait is this entire one about me oops)

when i started tumblr i wasn’t working full time. then covid hit. so i had a long stretch where i could dedicate a lot of time to writing and posting. and YES i was still slow, so go ahead and throw that tomato lmao but STILL. it really does impact the number of stories going up and some people who joined during the pandemic just don’t have the time to go back to this like they had before.

so yeah, that’s what i’ve personally seen and experienced on this site. the good news is that for every nasty, insecure writer on this site there are dozens of great people telling great stories. i’m going to stick around for them and i hope you do, too 💕

#anagrams 💕

[seuonji]

彡 i love you all the way. — yoon jeonghan

notes ๑ after getting rejected by your long term crush, jeonghan makes a proposal. little did you know, this proposal is fully a win to him, as long as you say yes.

keys ๑ best friend!jeonghan, crush!joshua

genre ๑ angst, fluff, highschool au — preview

warnings ๑ none

word count ๑ 0.7k

from aya: please reblog if you enjoyed! feedback is always appreciated<3

you were seated at your desk with jeonghan sitting infront of you. he was immersed in a comic he’s been fixated on lately. his legs were tucked under your desk so his knees were hitting yours. you occasionally kicked his shins but he still didn’t move. he wasn’t from your class, he just visited you every lunch break.

“he rejected me,” you monotonously blurted out of the blue.

“hm? joshua?” he peeped over the comic he was reading to see your face.

you bit your lip and nodded, hands fiddling with the comic book you stole from jeonghan’s bag.

his eyes averted back to his comic but he was interested to know more, “do you know why he rejected?”

“said he doesn’t have time for a relationship, what a load of bull,” you eventually placed the comic into your desk and smacked your hands unable to hide your frustrations of the situation. “how much you wanna bet he’s lying?”

“yn, you and i both know he’s not,“ jeonghan tilted the book downwards so you could see his done expression.

it was true, joshua was someone that cared about doing well academically. along with that, he was captain of the track team at school. to top it all off, he offered to teach kids in the music club how to play the guitar.

it was admirable really, plus, it was attractive. he knew how to balance his life amazingly well yet, he didn’t know where to fit a significant other into his schedule. but perhaps it wasn’t something meant to be fit in. at least not yet.

another admiring aspect of joshua was that he knew where his priorities lied however it was something you couldn’t help but resent.

because joshua did like you. you were someone he made exceptions for. he met you through his busy schedules so naturally you thought, this could work.

you planted your face onto your desk. “how could he reject me, we hangout all the time. what was missing?” you sulked.

“nothing was missing, he just has some priorities ynnie.”

your head was still on the table and jeonghan sighed.

“hey, be thankful he thought it through. it’s true he’s busy, you know that. even if he did accepted you, he would be able to only love you halfway, don’t you think?” he tapped your head with the book as he lectured you.

you let out a deep sigh, jeonghan couldn’t be more right. underneath it all, you knew you would’ve gotten tired of meeting him only for a few hours a week. you’d also get tired of the late replies and ultimately, in that list of priorities he had, you wouldn’t even place top three.

it just wasn’t meant to be.

you sat upwards and with a helpless tone, you answered, “i guess.”

jeonghan breathily chuckled as he pinched your hair in between his fingers. just as silence creeped in, jeonghan spoke.

“wanna date me in the meantime?” he tilted his head.

you were apalled, astonished even but you answered and went with it. it was definitely just one of his jeonghan jokes anyways.

“why would i accept, this totally goes against what you said earlier. joshua may only love me halfway but you don’t love me at all.”

“what do you mean? i love you all the way, is it my fault you didn’t notice?”

you sat there amused, his words were yet to register in your head, “you hypocrite!”

but then you finally heard him.

“wait— you what?—”

you were cut off by the bell,

“oh, there’s the bell, i’ll see you later yn,” he slid out the seat, placing it under its respective desk. he patted your head and smiled, “think about it, it might be fun.”

just as he was about to walk to the exit, he bent down and whispered in your ear, “i’ll let you pretend i’m joshua.”

the last thing you heard was his steps descending further away from you. you were left with so much uncertainty but one thing is for sure, this was not one of his jeonghan jokes.

#🐚☆ #📢aya wrote! #caratsland #yoon jeonghan #yoon jeonghan x reader #jeonghan x y/n #jeonghan x you #jeonghan x reader #jeonghan x gender neutral reader #jeonghan fluff #jeonghan drabble #jeonghan fic #jeonghan imagines #seventeen #seventeen x reader #seventeen fluff #seventeen imagines #svt #svt x reader #svt fluff #svt imagines #joshua angst #hong joshua x reader #joshua

[areislol]

Hii! This is my first time requesting, really. So I wanna request in your streamer au of what the boys reaction will be of reader having a VTuber?

streamer! xiao, kazuha, zhongli x reader

ft — xiao, kazuha, zhongli warnings — them being absolutely smitten for you!! romantic love, not platonic. a bit suggestive? a/n — reader being a VTuber? that's something new!! Thank you for request love <3 and enjoy this!! the event will be coming out very soon :) and i think you meant reader being a VTuber - if that's correct then im glad because if not then... i dont know honestly. hope all of you guys have a great day!!

recommend listening to: sway - michael buble

streamer! xiao x online friend! reader

you can not tell me that you wouldn't put a little xiao mask on the side of your head :(

xiao's so intrigued and is honestly amazed that you're a VTuber!

he knows how expensive it is and how much hard work you put into making it and it really paid off!!

compliments your model.. like all the time..

you also have, like i said before, xiao's mask - people know that xiao has this mask which he calls the "yaksha mask"

when you was making your model you thought to yourself "why not put xiao's "yaksha mask" on your model? it would be so cute!"

and so you did and when you showed your final product to xiao he was in amazement! your model looked so pretty and it looked exactly like you!

you also showed the other model, you could call it your "persona" but it looked.. a bit like xiao

xiao as a girl*

you still had your hair colour and style but you had some teal-ish highlights, your eyes were just like his but you still changed the shape somehow

xiao's so excited and is in joy when he sees your 2nd model :(

"that looks really good y/n! how long did it take for you to make them?" "like 1 week." "oh.. well at least it paid off" "true!"

watches your streams all the time, it's like a routine for him

promotes your channel without you even knowing <3

"you guys should check out y/n's account!! the user is ___, make sure to sub.. that's if you want of course"

"xiao... where are all these subs coming from?" "dont know..?" "..."

xiao deff watches those "y/n being y/n for 5 minutes straight" type of videos

he enjoys watching you scream like you've never screamed before, your facial expressions always makes his day <3

may or may not make his own model so he could match w/ you

you know those VTubers where they place them besides or behind the other VTuber? that's what xiao would do if he was a VTuber too

he can watch edits of you all day, will never get bored.

xiao would also give you small ideas on what to add on your model!!

streamer! kazuha x online friend! reader

if your model has big boobs, kazuha would be distracted all day, watching videos of you all day and just looking at your model everyday

that was off topic, sorry.

kazuha would be such a simp if you ever revealed your model to him, he'll never show it though.

if you ever add little details on your model that kazuha has on him his heart would warm up so much :(

would send you edits of you to you.

just like xiao - kazuha compliments your model "y/n i know i've already said this millions of times before but your model is so pretty, i can't get over it. but you're prettier ofc <3"

"aw kazu :( you're too sweet im crying rn" "dont cry baby gorilla ;(" "kazu."

makes his own model!! so you and him could collab, and so he could also play around with your model LOL

he'd put himself RIGHT beside you and scooch closer towards you really slowly

"kazu i can see what you're doing." "whaaaatt?? no you can't.." ".."

if he could, he'd add flowers on your model - and put them on top of your head - flower crown i guess..?

promotes your channel and reblogs/shows you fanart of your model!!

he'd commission someone to make matching pfps for you and him

if kazuha DID make his own model he'd try to make his model look like yours a bit <3 twins who?

"hi, i was thinking if i could commission you a matching pfp? here are the pictures"

once the pfps are done he thanks them and sends them to you, you match with each other on every platform, twitch, insta, discord, yt, spotify - LITERALLY EVERYWHERE.

definenetly shows you off, and shows your model to everyone duh

"guys look at y/n, she's so pretty right?" "guys y/n's model is so gorgeous, and dont say anything."

kazuha gets a little bit jealous when other guys talk about your model, and gets a bit annoyed when they're talking about your full model(your body)

blocks them because?? no reason

he'd blow up your phone with memes of you and many videos circulating around you

"y/n!! i know you're sleeping right now but look at this video i found about you" "go to sleep kazu. its 5 in the morning.." "you're awake." "shut your hole" "for you <3"

honestly kazu never acts this way but once he's alone with you he's absolutely mad

watches those "y/n and kazuha being a power couple for 5 mins" and "y/n and kazuha being chaotic as ever" type of videos

he enjoys them as it brings back many memories :)

streamer! zhongli x online friend! reader

intrigued and amazed #2

finds it quite fascinating that you did this all by yourself, and is amazed!! you really did that all my yourself? without any help either yt tutorials? and you used your money on it? you need to get recognized!!

compliments your model #3 - "your model looks beautiful y/n, just like you :)" "AWWWW ZHONGLI :(" "it's true, is it not?" yes, yes you had a cute lil seizure

will help you with things you dont understand <3

"zhongliiiiiiiii i dont know how to do this :(" "no worries, what layer are you doing it on?"

deff asks you if you could put some yellow-ish/bronze highlights in your model because.. i think you know why

zhongli hesitates to ask you at first but builds up the courage and does so and you said yes!! his heart is now completely full, full of you <3

when you ask zhongli for advice/things you need to add or improve on zhongli keeps it simple, he doesn't want to hurt your feelings or make you feel embarrassed because you didn't do something right

just like the others he watches those "y/n and zhongli acting like a couple" type of videos - he may look like he doesn't watch those type of videos but trust me, once in love, always in love and so that's why zhongli loves watching them

adds them in his "favourite <3" playlist

watches yt tutorials to help you with your model!!

will be very stubborn about helping you setting up everything.

"zhongli im really fine.." "what if your model glitches and your.. clothes disappear???" "well i didnt add nipples on my model did i?" ".... shush"

is a bit too over-protective when you're wearing something that's a bit.. revealing(DEPENDING WHAT RELIGION/CULTURE YOU'RE IN!!)

sends you fanart of you!!!

"this one looks pretty, just like you" "zhongli you say that everyday. but i agree, it does look pretty!! :)"

might make his own model, depending on if he has enough money(??? zhongli you make thousands a day..)

if he does, he'll toy around with your accessories and put them in the wrong places <3

might lean in closer to give you a quick peck without you knowing

SENDS YOU MANY MANY EDITS OF YOU!!!

many are cute edits of you <3 he enjoys watching your cute expressions when you get happy or excited

absolutely smitten.

(pls tell me your secret, i beg of you)

did i mention how zhongli promotes your channel too? no? okay well he'll literally go into his stream and tell everyone to go watch your videos!!

note: if you would like to be added to the genshin taglist pls just ask me!! dont be shy <3

taglist: @tomansimp @one-offmind @miitchiji liking + following + reblogs are very much appreciated!! another note: this is a bit short :( i kind of ran out of ideas so sorry! im so happy that i did this in a few hours, im a bit tired and there's uni tmr noooo :(

#genshin impact x reader #xiao x reader #kazuha x reader #zhongli x reader #streamer!au

[artastic-friend]

Info Post!

Current account status: extremely burnt out…

Hi, my name is March, I'm a 21 yr old masc-presenting, non-binary artist and biology/ecology major. I like to draw.. mostly fandom stuff and OCs.. but also I love spiders and studying them! Many other animals too haha! Looking forward to potentially becoming an arachnologist in the future, or a herpetologist, or like- idk- just someone who studies silly lil guys, yanno?

My pronouns are they/them and it/its but I am also ok with he/him

MUSIC MAN ART BOARD INFO POST + LINK (feel free to message me about it if you wanna join)

FNAF Art Board (Public, Free to join)

Here are some of my most-used tags:

My Art - any of my art or doodles!

DJ Music Man - self explanatory 💀 about 85% of what I post…

OC - any posts that focus on some original characters of mine ^^ (or others')

My Spider Pics - If you want to see pictures and videos of my irl spiders, or any that I find. You can see them here!

and here is my linktree including the link to my Etsy if you would like to find me on other platforms and/or support me!

My ask box is always open! Feel free to send me an ask anytime, and/or a doodle request! No promises that I will draw the thing you ask though. And sometimes I might just take a while to respond!

@artastic-foe is my reblog/spam account! I like to reblog a lot of stuff but also don't want to spam my followers with it, so 95% of the stuff I reblog will be over there haha! Though recently I’ve been trying my best to reblog on my main more!

Here is my persona. This is how I draw myself. To clarify, I do see this character as an extension of myself, and they are very personal to me. Though I know ofc they are not literally me. I like to creature-ify them at times and sometimes will even make alturnate versions of them for fun.. but in the end I still see them as a representation of me. They share my name and are designed after me (but with added features) after all!✨

I'm honestly not too sure of what my sona is meant to be- but I see them as like... A satyr?? but if the goat aspect of said satyr was actually a deer mixed with a unicorn?? Hence the long tail and single "antler"..

Idk lol. Just.. I guess be careful with how you treat this character, because whatever you do with them I will interpret that as something you are doing to me 💀

Anyway!!! I'll also clarify that I don't mind people drawing this character! If you do, I will actually be eternally grateful! Just don't draw them doing anything weird or sexual💀

speaking of which..

Boundaries:

I am a sex-repulsed Asexual! So please do not comment or send me anything implying sex or sensual activities.. It makes me very uncomfortable. If it's low-key and just light joking then that's fine, just nothing explicit please.

Do not steal and re-upload any of my art! Even if they are just little doodles. If you would like to for any reason, DM me about the specifics, but If I do not respond, that is not permission to do so anyway!

Please do not refer to me with feminine terms. If it’s an honest mistake, you’re ok, but if you are doing it on purpose, I will either not acknowledge you, or if you continue to do so I will block you.

Just… don't be weird lol- Be kind and respectful of people!

#edited frequently #info #pinned #artastic_friend #sona #my art #artastic-friend

[gracie7209]

Amaryllis - Chapter One

Pairing: frankie x f!reader

WC: 1k+

Warnings: alcohol mention, drunk Tom comes with his own warning, unwanted advances, but nothing crazy, implied unwanted/forced(but-not-really) sexual activity. Please met me know if there was anything I missed.

Summary: You learn that life is about to drastically change for you. Thinking back, you reflect on a moment that you never could have guessed would put you in your current situation, or how it will affect you moving forward.

A/N: I suck at summaries Just going to throw this out there and move on lol As always, I appreciate any and all feedback, reblogs etc, just be kind ❤️

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Fall is always an interesting time of year….. The leaves are changing, the air is getting cooler, Pumpkin Spice is the essential flavor of choice basically from September 1st through Black Friday and beyond…

Each season brings with it its own changes. Some good, some not so good, but predictable for the most part. Changes in temperature, the weather, summer activities and different holidays. Expected.

What you hadn’t expected in this particular season of your life, was to be looking down at a little pink + sign on a little white stick you had purchased at the grocery store. The emalgome of emotions that you feel can’t be described by just any one word. Your thoughts are racing—

How did this happen? He’s usually so careful…. Tom has never wanted kids—

—running over and over again, until you stop. Instead, images start flooding your mind. Still holding the little stick in your hand, you think back to one night, of which you’re sure resulted in your current situation.

It happened to be fight night, which meant that Tom would be out late with the guys.

Tom.

Tom was your husband of almost seven years. On certain fridays, Tom would go with Pope and Will to watch Will’s little brother Benny get knocked around as he tried to build a name for himself as an MMA fighter. He was actually pretty good from what little you’ve been told about him, though you’ve never gone to one of the fights yourself. Tom would overindulge, getting so shitfaced that he usually needed one of the guys to drive him home.

That Friday was no different.

—

You had been going about your normal routine and were just getting ready to head to bed, when you saw headlights pull into the driveway.

You hadn’t expected Tom to be back for at least another hour or two since the guys usually took to the bar shortly after the fights ended. You went to open the door and were met with a truck you didn’t recognize.

The driver also wasn’t Will or Pope, but you saw Tom in the passenger seat so whoever it was, had just been bringing him home. Stepping out of the truck, Tom was wobbly and immediately made his way over to you.

“There she is! Hey Fish, I wanna introduce you to somebody!” Tom was to you now and had his hands on your upper arms, pulling you in for a hug. The other man stepped out of the truck and made his way over.

“You haven’t met my wife yet, have ya Fish? Just look at her man!”

Tom was a very jealous, very possessive man in general, and rarely introduced you to new people. But on occasion, especially if he was drinking, he would gush about how beautiful you were. The problem was that he always did it in a this is mine sort of way that wasn’t flattering or even sweet.

Fish, as Tom called him, walked over and seemed almost shy at first, introducing himself as Frankie.

Eventually, you would learn that they were in the military together and that ‘Fish’ was his call sign just like Tom’s was ‘Redfly.’

Frankie was tall, but not quite as tall as Tom. Dark hair from what you could see under his hat that was just long enough that it curled around the edges. Broad shoulders and hands that felt rough, but were warm when he shook your hand. His beard was patchy, but it suited him, you thought. Just a hint of gray showing he was similar in age to Tom.

You were just about to ask how he and Tom knew each other, when Tom tried to take a peek down the top of your shirt… making a very blatant show of his intentions, going so far as to say “isn’t she sexy, Fish?” The discomfort showing on Frankie’s face matched your own, so when he suggested getting Tom inside, you silently thanked him with a nod.

The walk to your bedroom was silent, aside from Tom’s babbling. You and Frankie were on either side of him and you plopped him on the bed where he fell flat on his back. You nodded toward the door and Frankie made his way out, saying “G’night man —sleep it off and I’ll see you tomorrow,” after patting Tom’s leg in a friendly gesture.. almost pitying his friend, he shook his head as he walked out the door. You followed him outside and walked him to his truck.

“Thank you for bringing him home. And for helping me get him in the house.”

“Not a problem. He’s always been a lightweight and he had already started by the time I got there.”

Again, he shook his head and chuckled slightly before asking, “are you gonna be ok? I mean, do you need any extra help with him?”

“Oh. No, no, I’ll be fine” you look behind you toward the house. “He usually falls asleep pretty quickly once he’s in bed,” only a half lie.

“Ok then, well it was nice to meet you. I didn’t catch your name before.”

You tell him your name and he repeats it back and smiles slightly. “Have a good night.”

“You too..”

You watch the truck drive away until you no longer see the taillights. You know what’s waiting for you when you get back, so you don’t want to rush your walk back into the house.

There’s a reason Tom is a lightweight— He rarely drinks, normally only indulging when it’s fight night, so on occasion, he goes all out. These are the nights that weren’t a part of your arrangement. These nights, you adhere to your expectations as a wife… these nights you knew not to fight him. But something about tonight seemed different, and you’re not sure what brought on the change. Your only thought was maybe it had something to do with Frankie being in town…. You had never met him before tonight, so it seemed as though he didn’t live in the area or that he lived in the City. Whatever the reason, you wouldn’t find out tonight.

When you go back inside, Tom is ready and waiting for you.

—

The thought of having to tell Tom was making you physically ill, although it could be attributed to what led you to buying the test in the first place. Your thoughts continue unabashedly. You wish you could turn them off sometimes, but you try to stay positive—

This is a GOOD thing. A baby! You’re going to be a mother! —But the intrusive thoughts begin to take over—

Tom has never wanted kids. He’ll have even more to hold over me now. How will I ever get away from him with a child? A CHILD…

You slide to the floor with your head held in your hands—

This is a good thing.

This is a good thing.

#frankie morales #frankie catfish morales #frankie 'catfish' morales x reader #frankie x f!reader #triple frontier #triple frontier fic #pedro pascal character fanfic

[danses-with-dogmeat]

hi! i absolutely love your writing!! the post about the companions making sole a holotape literally made me tear up. that shit went hard /pos. are you planning to add gage to the post? (personally, i think there's never enough gage content) keep up your astounding fics!

Ahh thank you so much! And I'm glad you got some feels out of that holotape post, I really did mean for some of them to be tear-jerkers 😅

But yes, you're so right, there's definitely never enough Gage out there! I'm gonna go ahead and add him to the original and reblog that one, but here is his as a standalone post as well!

Thanks so much for the ask, and I hope you enjoy ❤

Gage:

“Hiya there boss… It’s…”

*under his breath* “I hope this damn thing is even recording.”

*snorts*

 “But, it’s me. Jus’ wanted to say some stuff…"

*sighs*

“Look, it’s tough for me, I’m sure you know it more than most, but, it’s tough for me to reach out like this. I never… Well, you know this too Sole, but, I never done this sorta thing before. With the relationship and the… I don’t know, man, the arguments. Before, well, fights like this usually meant the end of things, but you said that ain’t how it’s supposed to be. We’re supposed to work through this shit, somehow, and so I… I guess I figured I’d start with this.” 

*deep breath*

“I’m sorry. Sole. There, okay? I’m sorry for bein’ an asshole, for not givin’ you enough credit, not remembering that yer new to this whole raider thing, this whole Overboss thing. And that… well, you’ve probably never been with someone like me before. I sure as hell’ve never been with somebody like you, but… What can I say? It’s hard to find folks like you out here anyhow. You’re your own breed, boss. And that’s far from a bad thing. Jus’... Well, you know me. If you’re your own breed, I’m a goddamn mutt. I’m rough around the edges, not used to tryin’ to make things work. I’ve solved a hell of a lot more problems with my knife than I have with my words, but… I wanna… Well, I wanna make things work this time ‘round, boss… Sole… I mean, you know how I feel about ya, and I… I ain’t never had anything like this, and I just don’t know how I got along so long without you, cuz… Well, Sole, cuz you just make everything better.”

(pause)

“I mean… my life’s not worth a whole lot, that ain’t no mystery or nothin’, but when yer in it… It feels like somethin’ worth having. Not like the rest of my life, oh… stumblin’ around looking for scraps of quick fixes that could make me forget how little my life really means, but… having something worth holding onto, worth bein’ around for… that’s what it’s like with you.”

*dry chuckle*

“And to think, I was stupid enough to think that one little argument was worth losing all this over. Worth losing the only thing in my life that really makes it worthwhile. Cuz that’s what you are, baby. That’s what you are to me. Even though I don’t say it a whole lot… It don’t mean that I… That I don’t mean it, you know?”

*sigh*

“I can’t be the easiest to get along with, I’m sure. I’m so damn hard-headed most of the time, and I always act like I know what I’m talking about, which… Well, you know that usually ain’t the truth.”

*chuckles*

“But somehow you got the patience for all this. All my shit. And… I may not always be the sharpest knife in the drawer, or whatever the saying is, but I know what I got with you. I know what you’re worth, baby, and it’s more than I got, and I know you bein’ with me at all is a charity, but… Well dammit, I hope I got some worth to you too, cuz I just… I need you now, Sole. I wanna be worth the headache and the patience, and I wanna work through the fights and learn how to make it up to you. I never had this before… I never felt this way about no one. I don’t wanna lose it. I can’t… lose you. Things jus’, well, they just wouldn’t be the same…” 

*deep sigh*

“I know I’m going ‘round in circles a bit here, but you know apologies ain’t really my strong suit. An’ neither is all this mushy stuff, but I’m trying all right? I’m trying for you. And I’m gonna keep on doing that until you tell me you can’t stand it no more. It’s just the kinda reckless, hard-headed, stubborn fool I am, Sole. Gonna keep telling you how you changed it all for me, how you’re so damn incredible it makes my chest hurt, how I… Well dammit. Guess I’ve gotta say it now, huh? Look, there. You did it boss, you got it out of me. Damn near slipped out before I could even catch it too. Nasty little words, but… It’s never been truer. I love you Sole.”

(pause)

*comical sigh*

“And while we’re at it, might as well say I’m sorry again, too. There. You got both outta me. Got it all. There’s nothing left for you to take, baby, all my cards just out on the table like that and I forgot how to fucking bluff.” 

“soft chuckle*

“Nah, but… I mean it, Sole. I ain’t nothin’ without you. Next time we fight, just pull this shit outta your pocket and I’ll shut right up, I promise. And… If I’m ever not sayin’ all that… All that I should, if I’m being an ass like I do sometimes, just listen to this while I’m off sulkin’ somewhere. Cuz it’s true. It’s all true, and no amount of me bein’ pissy or stubborn is gonna change that... Is gonna change the fact that… Well, dammit, I do, I love you, Sole.”

(pause)

“Greedy bastard, you’ve gotten it outta me twice now, so you should be all caught up for awhile… Just don’t use it against me too often, okay? Don’t abuse this shit, or you definitely ain’t gonna hear it as much, I’ll tell ya that.”

*chuckles*

 “Alright, don’t know when this thing is gonna run outta tape, but it’s bound to be close. I’ll, ah, I’ll see ya soon, baby.”

*click*

#thanks for the ask! #and for reading! #fallout #fallout companions react #fallout companions #fallout 4 #fallout 4 companions #nuka world dlc #porter gage #fallout gage #fo4 gage #sole #sole survivor #nuka world overboss

[goosewriting]

yesterday i finally watched the new tmnt movie!! at first i wanted to do a live reaction kinda thing, except that wouldn’t work because i'd have to reblog every entry and hiding every single part under a "read more" would be not only tedious, but i'm not even sure if it's possible lol

so instead have a collection of my thoughts here! (spoiler warning, duh)

first of all: the art style. there’s something strangely nostalgic about it. it feels like that is what my mental storyboards as a kid would have looked like, had i been into animating back then. or at least that would have been close to the style i would have liked to emulate.

the explosions looking like violent scribbles is just so 😩🤌♥ chef's kiss, truly. there's something about the art in general that just moves in such a particular way and holds a certain weight and volume,, it feels like cardboard and clay and crayons and the piles upon piles of coloured pencils i used to have as a kid and how the wooden pencil drawer smelled. i'm such a fan of this style i’M obsessed o(-<

in the intro shots for the turtles, raph licking his sai blades is so extra and i love him for that lmao

for some reason i completely forgot they cast jackie chan as splinter and tbh idk how to feel about it? no hate towards him; i just don't think voice acting is his strong suit

meanwhile i'm looooving mikey's voice. also leo's beacuse, well first of all, i am a leo girlie (gender neutral) through and through so i would have loved all aspects of him no matter what. but his voice actor is gumball's i believe? and that's one of my comfort shows 🥺 i just love him sm

this little donnie is sending me, i- 🤣

superfly's theme reminds me of miguel's for some reason? 😂 and i'm here for it ahahh

the whole watermelon scene lmaoo teeangers being teenagers, finally

aaaand here comes the probably forced romance subplot 😅😅 (more on that later)

the whole fighting scene in the workshop tinted in red? ugh 10/10

ok so, april: i really like how they met. i like her design, her voice and her whole vibe. the whole puking jokes were a little too much for me; personally im not a fan of fart or puke jokes because, well, i’m not a 12yo boy (looking at you seth rogen) but all in all i really liked this rendition of april. it sucks tho that the turtles got a snazzy outfit by the end, both for school and for prom, but april’s clothes always remained the same. would have loved to see what she wore to prom!

the gen z lingo and references: …i mean, i guess it makes sense? i just don’t know how well it will age xD the references to end game and all were fun but, again, will someone in 15 years understand what they meant? will someone in 15 years know what rizz is?

changing the topic, the way eyeballs are rendered??? hello?? they’re so expressive and shiny and i lowkey wanna lick them ok

the chris pine cutout actually made me choke on my food from both surprise and laughter jhdfkjashdf

oookay so. superfly and his gang. first of all when the gecko talked i went like hey is that ant-man? lmao i love all the designs and ice cube as the villain works?? im not mad?? lol now, his plan however... sigh, my guy. killing all humans aside, have you maybe thought that if you turn every single animal and insect into a mutant, the whole ecosystem would all but collapse? there will be no planet left to belittle the humans on (:

"he'll run out of cars eventually" / *looks at parking* / “oh, c’mon!” lmaoo 😂 this joke was excellent

so, back to the forced romance thing. look i get it, they needed a reason to help out april to get the plot going. and if leo said it, then the rest would follow. i get that. but throughout the whole movie, aside from like his brothers elbowing his side knowingly, there’s no more allusion to anything? and then only at the veeeery end, he asks her out and she says yes, so i was like “oh okay so that’s the payoff then. took long enough” but then when they’re dancing she rhetorically asks if they’re just doing this as friends and 😐 maybe this is just my aroace self projecting but,, if you’re gonna use romance/romantic interest as a catalyst (lame tbh), at least be consequent about it?? if you (the writers) didn’t have the intention to explore the relationship, then leave it altogether? again, this is just my aroace opinion,, i can’t relate so i don’t understand. (which i know seems contradictory given my uh, repertoire of fics lmao) personally i would have preferred a different reason for them to helping out april, and having them all just be besties by the end, which they ended up being anyway

so, to sum it all up. it’s a story we’ve seen a hundred times, so there was really nothing new to it. the plot was okay,, the biggest thing that “bothered” me was superfly’s whole extermination thing making no sense, technically. but other than that, my eyes and ears were having an absolute feast. a very enjoyable film all in all. when we got rottmnt, i was like “oh finally an iteration of the teenage mutant ninja turtles where they’re actually teenagers” but scratch that. mutant mayhem is the most teenager one, and i loved them for that. time will tell how the jokes will age but yeah, the way they were depicted was definitely my favourite thing about the film aside from the art style.

have you guys seen it? what are your thoughts? lemme know :D feel free to comment here or send in some asks!

#btw i 100% disappeared for a long time and then im dropping this and probably disappearing again #for which i am sorry #things are just kinda hectic rn #tmnt mutant mayhem #tmnt mm #goose honks

[defensivelee]

Dona Dona: A Whole Day and Half a Night

The second chapter is a story about a boy and his very doomed friend. Please enjoy.

Here is the AO3 link! If anyone has anything they would like to say about it, I would appreciate comments said there rather than here on Tumblr. Nonetheless, please feel free to reblog :)

CW: abusive marriage, child abuse, forcing a child to commit crimes, cult-like setting, religious indoctrination, implied/referenced genocide, fantastic racism, ableist language, ableist slurs, torture, murder, terrorism, pedophilia, grooming, father/son incest, child sexual abuse, minimization and glorification of sexual assault (by the characters, not by me).

EXTRA WARNING PLEASE READ: there are a couple scenes where the boys "initiate" the sexual contact with the adults. This is NOT meant to show that kids are capable of consenting; this is the result of the specific mindset and religion they've been raised with as well as grooming. This goes without saying but any of this IRL is disgusting and I do not support it in any way.

“Happy birthday, William! Look what I got you!”

William blinked, sitting up on the grass. Liselotte was there, grinning at him with all her teeth. She’d gotten her stitches out a while back, but he wasn’t yet used to seeing her smile. Not that he was complaining; he kind of liked it.

“What?” he asked.

“It’s a knife,” she said matter-of-factly, swinging the dark blade around. “But it’s not just any knife, it’s a devil’s knife. So it’ll have extra protection and extra sharpness and extra love because I love youuuu!” She pulled him into an embrace, and he jumped slightly.

“Love me?”

“Yeah, you’re like my best friend!” Liselotte handed him the knife. “I stole it from the king, don’t tell.”

“You steal lots.”

“Well, you think I’m gonna politely ask to get something for my weird little Overlifer friend?” She snorted. “They’d literally execute me. And anyway, relax, this isn’t even the real one. You gotta summon me in the real world so I can actually give it to you.” She blinked at him hopefully. “So, what do you think?”

William turned the knife in his hands. It was very unique, he had to admit, with a shiny black blade and a glowing red line that ran all along its spine. The handle was a little lighter in color, but it was inscribed with scratches and stars that he could only guess was writing in Infernal, the original language of the devils.

“The blade is retractable,” Liselotte said proudly. “And look, can you read what it says?”

William shook his head.

“It says, for my very first and best friend in the entire world, William! I hope your six lives make you happy. I also kinda wanted you to have something to trace, ‘cause I know you like doing that.” She puffed out her fluffy chest. “Well?”

He truly didn’t know what to say. He knew he loved it very much and would be holding a lot in these coming days, but as to expressing that...he had no idea. She had known him for a long time now, though, and he knew she would understand whatever he wanted to say.

“Love it so much,” he blurted. “I love you.”

“Aww,” Liselotte said. “I knew you were a huge softie.” She lifted her tail and brought his head down, so that it was leaning on her shoulder. “What else did you get today?”

William paused. His mother had apologized for not being able to get him anything for his tenth birthday, said she hadn’t been able to catch his father in a good mood to ask. De Witt had given him a new book, he supposed, and shown him how to paint his nails. His father had only given him another mess to wipe off his sheets.

“A book,” he said simply, hiding his black nails in his fists.

“Wow.” Liselotte tilted her head to the side. “I mean, I guess I don’t get that much either. Is it a good book, though?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s good.”

“So tired.”

“You wanna sleep a little, then?”

William nodded. “Bring the knife.”

“Tomorrow!”

“Yes.”

She kept her promise. She gave him the knife the next day and told him to take good care of it.

“I will.”

“You better. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

As much as he wanted to take the knife out for a test run when his father took him to another torture session, he knew it wasn’t possible, unless he wanted to be found out and executed for treason. But it looked so delightfully sharp and deadly; he couldn’t wait to use it.

He had actually gotten good at these torture sessions, he liked to think. It was nice to see someone so afraid of him for once.

His father didn’t care, of course. The only praise he gave William was more directions.

Another Sunday came by, another ring of the phone sounded. William waited outside of his father’s door to hear the conversation, his tail twitching with excitement. Please let it be de Witt.

“William!” his father called. “Come down here!”

William waited a few seconds before opening the door. “Yes, sir?”

“De Witt’s taking you downtown to observe the beginnings of the Dwaallichtsdag ceremonies,” his father explained. “You know what that is? I’ve never told you about it.”

“No, sir.” Really, William did know, but how would he explain that?

His father scowled. “Alright, well, go get ready. He’ll be here in an hour. And you be wary out there.”

The reign of the Southern Kingdom was upon Altos Diablos, which meant that he had to put on more layers and pretend that they weren’t the worst thing that had ever touched his skin. As soon as he was out of his father’s sight, inside of de Witt’s car, he began unbuttoning his coat.

“Hey, no, William, stop that,” de Witt said, adjusting William’s scarf. “You have to keep that on. Do you want to get sick?”

“Hot in here,” William mumbled.

“I know, but we have to be safe,” de Witt said. “Just leave it on, we won’t be driving for so long.” He smiled. “How’s the little prince today?”

William couldn’t help but smile as well, though he turned away towards the window so de Witt couldn’t see it. “Fine.”

De Witt was right, they weren’t in the car for so long. Once they were in the city, standing in the biting air, de Witt tightened William’s scarf around his head again. “It’s either that or the mask,” he told him. “And the mask doesn’t keep you warm.”

“Fine.”

William had no idea what to expect from this event. He knew he was already kind of enjoying it when he realized that it was happening in a park. He hardly visited them, but he loved the endless paths and trees.

“We have a little bit before the event starts,” de Witt said, checking his watch. “So you can run off if you’d like. But can I trust you to go find me at the stage over there?” He pointed at the stage looming in the distance with its huge horns that imitated those of the devils. “In twenty minutes. Promise me you’ll come back when it’s time.”

“No watch.”

“Then take mine.” De Witt unclipped his watch from his wrist, handing it to William. “I have a phone, anyway. Please be safe. Don’t leave the park.”

William nodded, waiting for him to leave before he took off running through the grass. With every bound he heard dry leaves crunching under his feet, which was a strange delight.

Yes, know my wrath! Dirty devils, that’s all you are! He paused now and then to kick them in the air.

It wasn’t long, though, before he remembered one of the few things that he agreed on with his father. He hated the Southern Kingdom! For all that he was wearing he realized he was still trembling under his coat.

Sorry, Liselotte. He sat back on a bench in the playground to catch his breath, maybe warm himself up, and watched the families and their children play there. I just don’t know why you guys would choose to rule over such awful months. It wasn’t even that the actual Southern Kingdom was a bitterly cold, biting wasteland with dead leaves everywhere. Liselotte said she’d never even seen snow before.

There were a few children there that looked like descendants of that very kingdom, with their bright horns like radio antennae and their thick, fluffy tails. If they’d had sharper teeth, maybe more eyes and fur, he would have thought that they were related to Liselotte.

But he knew they weren’t, which made it easier to know that these kids were going to die once his father ruled the world. He didn’t know why they were supposed to hate the Southern Kingdom and its descendants— he just knew they did. It was part of the doctrine or something.

Well, I hate them too. See, he was loyal. Liselotte didn’t change anything.

He brushed his tail along the wood chips on the ground and immediately withdrew it; they felt like the scales upon a snake to him. He began to kick them away from the bench, growling under his breath. As he did so, he felt something heavy move in his pocket, and he shoved his hand in to stop it from bouncing when he realized that it was de Witt’s watch.

He took out the watch and checked the time. It looked like maybe twenty minutes had passed, after all? A little more? Less?

Ugh! Watches. He huffed and left the wood chips as they were, running through the grass again towards the stage in the distance. His eyes stung as the wind blew into them, and his chest seemed to close itself up around every breath he tried to take through his scarf. But he kept running until he was standing in front of the stage, looking up at its dark horns. He glared up at those horns, then began to cough, shudders running from his chest down to his tail.

Not now! He heard people murmuring behind him, and his face grew hot with shame. He’d kill them all one day!

“William? William!” De Witt’s voice called out behind him, and he turned around to see the man running at him, scooping him up in his arms. “Are you alright?”

William wiggled around, trying to slip out from under de Witt, but his coughing went on incessantly, and he could only grip onto the arms around him to keep himself standing.

“Alright, let’s get you your inhaler.” De Witt patted his back, leading him through the crowd and the cold folding chairs they sat on. He sat down on one in the third row, and William wondered if he’d just chosen it or if he had been waiting here the whole time.

De Witt sat him down on the chair right beside him, digging through the pockets in his coat and pulling out William’s inhaler. He slid the cap off and shook it a little, rubbing William’s back as he did so. “Do you want me to do it?”

William shook his head, snatching the inhaler from de Witt’s hand and batting his tail against his face. He pulled his scarf down and huffed out as much as he could, then held the inhaler up to his lips.

“Who taught you?” De Witt smiled.

Can’t you see I can’t talk right now?! William turned away from him resolutely. Besides, he didn’t have a good answer for that— he’d sort of just read the instructions. His doctors weren’t good for anything; they knew very well what his father was involved in and were terrified of saying anything wrong about his son, his heir. As far as they were concerned, he was perfectly healthy, just the way his father liked to see him.

“Oh, look,” de Witt said, nudging his shoulder. “I know you always like a chance to meet your enemies, so I’ve brought you to another one.” He pointed at the stage, and William looked up as he continued to puff from his inhaler.

A tall man with huge black and white horns curving inwards over his head and a long, bluish tail strolled onto the stage, his striking yellow eyes made even brighter still by the way his dark hair and gas mask obscured his face. He dangled a microphone from a wire on one finger, and William watched it swing back and forth.

“It’s a pleasure to be here again,” the stranger said in his muffled voice, tossing up the microphone and holding it to where his mouth should have been through the mask. “In windy, shitty New Amsterdam. It’s really a beautiful place, though, if you don’t think about it too hard. Maybe it was prettier when I was growing up here. I don’t remember. I really don’t.” He laughed, flicking his tail dismissively. The gold jewelry dangling from it clinked as he did so, and William wondered how he could stand the heavy metal on him. “Right! A pleasure! Hello, everyone!”

There were some awkward greetings on the part of the audience, and the man laughed again. “You sound half-drowned! That’s not at all the holiday spirit I was expecting! But I get it. Southern Kingdom’s not my favorite reign, either. I usually spend it in the beaches of Grand Cabaret, like maybe some of you do, but this year, and maybe for all the years after, I’d like to celebrate Dwaallichtsdag more traditionally. I’ve always considered the Berufungsachse Governorate my home, so I’m here to stay!” He paused, his gaze passing over William. “For those of you who don’t know, who were dragged here by your hardworking parents or relatives, you may call me Charles Stewart, philanthropist and the newest owner of FaciRonya, the largest producer of your vaccines.”

William slipped the inhaler out of his mouth and narrowed his eyes, his tail twitching fiercely. Charles Stewart! He wasn’t just any boring businessman, he was the most recent leader of the Disciples of Restoration, the only rivals of the Devils of Orange-Nassau, who were founded by descendants of the Eastern Kingdom. William had heard whispers about them often, mostly concerning his mother, but they hadn’t seemed to be much of a threat at all— his father had said they were in hiding after some interactions with invasive devils. Devils that could possess humans.

But it seemed they were back now, in the very city where their rivals roamed the streets. William knew instantly that everything that had just come out of Charles’ mouth was a lie. This whole stupid show was just him announcing to every enemy that he had returned to New Amsterdam to face them head-on.

Aside from the Allies, this was William’s worst enemy.

“We celebrate Dwaallichtsdag every year to thank the dwaallichten for creating our universe with the Nine Honors at the beginning of time,” Charles went on. “I’m sure I don’t have to tell that story, though. Out of the remaining powers of the dwaallichten came their remnants, creating billions upon billions of spirits made of their energies. Some remain even today! Yes, these spirits are very, very old.” He lashed his tail behind him, and as if it were a signal, out of the air bounded four little spaniel-like dogs, their eyes and markings glowing.

Gasps rose up all around William as the dogs ran around the stage, barking with their tails wagging rapidly behind them. Charles gestured to them with a hand, and they floated up beside him to rest on his shoulders and arms. They looked incredibly light to William.

“These are some of my spirits that I have tamed,” Charles announced proudly. “They’re just as loyal as any other dog.” He paused to scratch one of the dogs under its chin. “I’ll tell you right now, I don’t know why we see them as pests. They’re wonderful, curious little creatures. Some are malevolent, yes, but humans are like that, too. To kill them is to kill the only remnants we have of the forces that created our world! And what disrespect to do so! Truth be told, I think they’re just like us.” He kissed another dog on its nose, and the whispers around William continued.

That was something new. He’d never met anyone who viewed dwaallicht remnants with such admiration, and it was the last thing he’d expect of an Overlifer. Those were usually very strict on keeping with their ancient hierarchies. And his father, of course, only ever killed them, set traps for them, whenever he found some in the house.

Poor little things. Poor little babies. He watched the dogs nuzzle up beside Charles and couldn’t imagine ever slamming his foot down on their backs to kill them the way his father sometimes did.

“And you’re probably thinking, oh, he would say that,” Charles said. “His own son is a dwaallicht spirit!” He raised his hand, ribbons suddenly swirling all around his arm and shooting up in the sky, where a young boy with floppy ears as dark as his hair and a green cape flew up and grinned down at the audience that met him with polite applause.

“Hello, everyone!” he yelled, landing hard on the stage in front of Charles. William’s eyes widened as he watched the boy’s body move, his tail wagging so hard that he was wiggling just as much as the dogs. “I’m the Duke of Monmouth, from the Eastern Kingdom! Well, not actually, I was born some place far away from here, but that’s where I lived forever and ever until my papa found me!” He pointed at Charles, who watched him with shining eyes.

“Talking spirit,” William murmured.

“Yes,” de Witt said. “Not very common, but you’ll find them here and there. I have to say, though, I’ve never heard of anyone adopting them like this. Even just as pets.”

An Overlifer has a remnant son? William tilted his head to the side. Did that make Monmouth the heir of the Disciples of Restoration? Surely not, only humans could receive six lives!

“Happy Dwaallichtsdag!” Monmouth yapped out, and Charles laughed.

“No, my boy, it’s about a week into Northern Kingdom.”

“Close enough,” Monmouth said, sticking his tongue out, and this time there was laughter from everyone. William leaned back, blinking in astonishment. If he’d shown such insolence in front of his father, it would have been met with a sharp slap to the mouth.

“Take notes, William,” de Witt said.

Notes on what? William glanced up at him, then looked away, handing him back the inhaler. De Witt chuckled and adjusted the scarf back around his nose, much to William’s irritation. He was still finding it hard to pull air back in his lungs.

“It’s so good to be here in New Amsterdam with all my papa’s friends,” Monmouth said. “I can do so many things you guys can’t do!” He waved his arm, transforming into a crow and flying over Charles’ head. The audience let out delighted cries and whispers, and William snorted, starting to get up. He didn’t need to see this!

“William.” De Witt pulled him back by his shoulder. “Sit down. We’re not leaving yet.”

William pulled out de Witt’s watch and checked the time. He groaned when he saw that they’d be here for another hour.

“Just pay attention,” de Witt said. “Are you cold?”

“No.” That was only partially true, his tail and hands were freezing. He fiddled with the watch for a bit, feeling the metal that had warmed in his pocket slowly get colder, and then he reached out to take de Witt’s hand, starting to clip the watch back on.

“What?” He looked down, stifling a laugh. “You want to put it back on me?”

William nodded firmly.

“You can keep it, if you’d like,” de Witt said, pulling his hand away. “You need it more than I do.”

William cocked his head to the side, then shoved the watch back in his pocket before de Witt changed his mind.

But it wasn’t long before he took it out again just to hear it click and jingle in his hands. He wasn’t interested in what tricks an enemy Overlifer had taught his pet spirit. It was a lot of shapeshifting, a lot of flying and ribbons everywhere. Nothing that could be counted as a threat, though, so William found himself paying more attention to the watch he dangled over his legs. At one point he dropped it on the metal chair and it made a loud clanking noise, causing William to bounce back in surprise.

“Shh.” De Witt nudged him. “Don’t make so much noise.”

William pushed de Witt’s arm away, going back to dangling the watch in the air.

If anybody had asked him that night what had happened with Charles and Monmouth, he knew he would have been in trouble, because he had no idea what they were doing. Some holiday show it was, just an opportunity for an Overlifer to show off what his spirits could do! And yet everyone had eaten it all up. Where was the love for his father?

He asked that question after the event, when de Witt asked what William would like to eat and he had simply responded with Black&White. It was what his father always bought him after they were done torturing and interrogating hostages in the city, not as a reward, but because they were hungry and they just happened to be out and Black&White was always right there.

“Your father’s had it...somewhat difficult with the public, even with his own people,” de Witt explained while they waited for their food. “He doesn’t really make himself likable, which is a must if you’re going to be, you know, a wealthy businessman, probably the supreme ruler later on— you’ve got to win the hearts of the people, William. He never learned that lesson.” He paused. “Do you like him?”

William shook his head. He could believe in an Overlifer’s authority without liking him, that was easy. It was just politics, which was confusing, but the term seemed applicable here.

“See? If he can’t even win the heart of his son and wife, what hope does he have to make everyone love him? You’ve got to do it like Charles, William.”

“Say nothing and everything?”

De Witt frowned, then laughed. “I guess that’s one way to put it. Just don’t be as blunt and cruel to all the people below you as your father is, and I think you’ll be okay.”

William grunted, putting his head down on the table. The only thing he didn’t like about Black&White was that they didn’t have cats here.

It was because of de Witt that William was brought to his first council meeting of the Devils of Orange-Nassau, where his father said they’d forgotten to bring another chair for him, oops, guess you’ll have to sit on my lap. William wouldn’t have minded it if he was younger, and if his father wasn’t grabbing onto his waist and tail in a way that made his stomach churn.

“William here has finally seen our worst enemy in the flesh,” his father said, waving his cigarette as he spoke. William covered his mouth and nose to stifle his coughs, though he was afraid everyone could see how hard he was trying because his eyes were welling up with tears. “Tell us about him, William. What were your first observations?”

“T-Tall. Big horns.” Bigger than yours.

“Tell the boy to speak up,” said one of the men, and William shot bullets through him with his eyes.

“Speak up, William, get your hand away from your face.” His father twisted his tail under the table, and William bit his lip. Beside his father, he saw de Witt wince.

But he had no choice, he had to obey. So he brought his hand down, and as he opened his mouth to speak, his whole body was wracked with the coughs he’d been trying so desperately to hide. He looked up, trying to take a deep breath, but it only made him cough more.

“Sir,” de Witt said, standing up, “do you happen to have his inhaler with you? This looks like an attack to me.”

“What?” William heard his father growl. “Why ever would I bring it with me? It was up to him to remember.”

“Well, if you were planning to smoke beside him, I assumed—”

“Silence.” His father prodded him painfully in the side. “Did you bring it with you, William?”

William nodded, and his father pushed him off his lap, standing up behind him. “Excuse me, I’ll just deal with this real quick. Come on, William.”

De Witt said something else, and his father must have snapped back, but William couldn’t hear it over his wheezing anymore. He looked back with wide eyes at his father, who only took his hand and pulled him out of the room, slamming the door behind him with his tail.

“Listen here, William,” he said, his voice low. “You don’t get out of talking just by conveniently getting an asthma attack, of all things, during our meetings. One day you’ll be leading them.”

“S-Sir, I-”

“Shut up, shut up!” He raised his hand in a fist, and William scurried back, only for his father to bring his foot down on his tail and pull it towards him. William stumbled, and his father lifted him up by his shirt, still stepping on his tail.

“You don’t run from me,” he hissed. “You understand that, William? I’m only not going to beat the shit out of you because you gotta go back in there, but make it the last time this happens.”

William blinked, fighting to catch his breath. He could feel tears running down his face, his tail stinging fiercely where his father was stepping on it, at the base too where it was being tugged down. But he was pleased— he hadn’t even let out a squeak.

“Do whatever you need to do and come right back in.” His father took another puff of his cigarette, then blew the smoke out at his son’s face. He dropped William on the ground and walked back into the room, apologizing for the interruption.

Interruption. There was a word William couldn’t say yet.

Well, he wasn’t going back in to face them all now, even de Witt. At least, not so soon. So he took his inhaler out of the pockets in his coat and paced there in the hall as he taught his lungs to breathe again, all alone. He found himself wishing that de Witt was here to watch, to smile at him in that gentle way his father had never learned.

He was still wheezing when he put his inhaler away, and he could still smell his father’s cigarette smoke wafting in the air, so he decided to stop by the bathroom to wait until his father was done with that stick. He didn’t know what he’d do in there, but it was a valid excuse.

On his way there he passed by a large window where he could see all of New Amsterdam from the top of this building. Well, he should have been able to, but the smog reached its claws so far into the distance, and the only thing he really could see was how the city was covered in it. Even in his head he didn’t know the word, but he knew what he felt as he stared outside.

Disappointing. If he was in charge of this nation, he’d fix this all up in no time. All the righteous children with asthma deserved some peace.

He turned sharply and nearly collided with a boy far taller than himself. The boy yelped, stumbling back, and as he did so he stepped right onto William’s tail. William cried out, and the boy jumped off of it.

“Oh my Ferocity, I’m so sorry!” he said. “You just scared me, is all. You look like death!” He took William’s tail, rubbing at the spot where he had stepped on it. “I’m still very, very sorry, did I break anything? My father taught me some tricks to wrap up broken bones. If you have any, I mean.”

“What are you talking about?!” William pulled his tail away. “How dare you? You know who I am?”

The boy blinked, and it was then that William allowed himself to properly look at him. He was blonde, with many of his curls falling neatly over his face, and his eyes were blue, but not strikingly so. More fascinating to William, however, was how he had nothing that on him that could indicate he was a real descendant of the devils. No horns, no tail, not even differently-colored sclerae like William’s father.

“Oh- oh, wait, are you the Prince?” The stranger’s eyes widened. “You’re William Henry, aren’t you? Oh, those horns, you are the Prince!” He sprung back and dropped to one knee, taking William’s hand and kissing it fiercely. “I’m so sorry, sir, I didn’t mean to disrespect you, I was just on my way to see you but I didn’t know you’d be outside and everything, I’m so, so sorry.”

William’s first instinct was to pull away, but he’d often seen his father’s subordinates kiss the Overlifer’s hands with much the same reverence and submission. He thought it was fun, how everyone was so afraid of the wrath of the true authority. Even him, when he shouldn’t have been! He deserved to receive that worship as well!

And now here it was. He lashed his tail behind him and lifted his head proudly, at this featureless, Ally-wannabe boy.

“That hurt.”

“Y-Yes, I imagine. I didn’t mean it, I’m very, very sorry.”

“No forgiveness,” William said. “I’ll kill you.”

The boy’s eyes widened. “W-Wait, sir, I’ll do anything! I’m only eleven, do you know how much longer I have to live? It’s a lot. I mean, not as long as you, sir, of course, but I really don’t want to die now, please. I mean, I guess if you wanted to kill me, then-”

“I’M GONNA KILL YOU!” William shrieked, and he lunged at the boy, throwing him back against the ground. As swift as a viper, he took the knife Liselotte had given him and flicked the blade out. The boy cried out in shock and fear, and at that moment, they both heard the creak of a door behind them.

They looked back to see that William’s father stood in the doorway, glowering at them both, with one of his vassals behind him. Mijnheer Bentinck, William knew him as, and he knew in an instant that this boy was his son, judging by the matching color of their hair and how the father had no devil features, either.

“What are you doing, William?” His own father’s voice was dangerous.

“Hurt me.” William pointed at the boy lying before him, quietly putting his knife away. He hoped his father hadn’t seen it.

“What?” Bentinck glared down at his son. “Is this true, Hans?”

“N-No!” Hans protested. “I would never! Well, I may have stepped on his tail, but it was an accident, I swear!”

“And of course my son thought that for such an offense you deserve to die.” William’s father did not sound sarcastic; he actually sounded rather pleased. “William, get off of him. What these angels are worth keeping around for is for what they can do to serve you. It’s no good if you kill them right away, you have to make sure they never do it again. You have to teach this boy fear.” His rat-like tail ran under Hans’ chin, and he smiled back at William. “Have you taught him fear?”

“Yes.” William nodded rapidly.

“Good. If he does it again, then you can kill him.” His father ruffled Hans’ hair. “That was your first strike, little one.”

“Um- thank you for your mercy, sirs.” Hans tilted his head to the side, and his own father nodded.

“Very good, Hans,” he said. “This wasn’t how I intended for you to meet the prince, but I’m glad you did regardless. It seems he taught you a lesson.”

So that was what Hans was there for, apparently. To learn from William, to begin his training as a servant of the Devils of Orange-Nassau. When William heard that, he wondered why Hans hadn’t already begun, like he had when he was five. There was too much to learn, why start him off so late?

“Because, William,” his father told him, “his older siblings all started off at this age, too. I told this man not to wait so long for each of them or they wouldn’t have the stomach for war like you do. I suppose you still turned out a little stunted on that aspect, but can you imagine what it’s like for them? It’s pathetic to watch.”

“Not fair!” William cried.

“Hm, no, it isn’t. But we can make it fair, can’t we?”

“How?”

“Make the tests harder for little Hansi,” his father said, eyes flashing. “After all, the others are merely training as guards, as bombers, maybe assassins if they’re lucky. But he will train beside you, he will work for you, specifically— I chose him myself. It is only sensible that we hold him up to a higher standard.”

“Yes, sir!” William’s tail wagged fiercely at the tip. Only the bravest and strongest were worthy of serving him!

Hans did not at all react to the sight of blood on a hostage like how William expected, though. He didn’t cry, he didn’t vomit, only flinched on occasion— but it was as if he could not look away. He covered his ears at every gunshot, but still did not cry, and enthusiastically took up the gun at his first practice.

“Hold it with both hands or it’ll go flying,” William’s father told him.

William snorted. Even he had noticed that when he had first been allowed to use a gun.

Hans, he suspected, was not very stupid, as he knew when to bow, when respect was owed to his Overlifers, but he was also not very bright. There were things he should have been horrified by, William wanted to see him afraid like he had been on the day they met, and it annoyed him to no end that he had the most boring reactions to everything he learned.

“Alright, boys, let’s see how well you handle this one on your own,” his father said on the day that Hans first helped kill someone. “This one, we found out, was conspiring with the Disciples of Restoration. He didn’t get far before we found out, but what do we call this, hm?”

“Traitor!” Hans and William hissed in unison.

“Yes. And what penalty does that warrant?”

“Execution!”

“Correct. Execution. You two will execute him, and we will all watch, no interference. My only command is that William must be the one to land the last blow.” He looked down at his son. “All the blood that you spill is necessary.”

“Yes, sir.” William nodded firmly, and he and Hans looked at what they were working with. The traitor was rather unremarkable, the scarred horns and tail faintly reminiscent of the Eastern Kingdom. Of course someone like that would betray the Devils. They didn’t need to lift the blindfold from his eyes to see that he was afraid, but there wasn’t much he could do now— if he stood, he’d just be shot back down.

“Okay, follow me.” William glared at Hans. He didn’t want him to mess this up with his incredibly dull ideas of torture.

“Yes, sir.” Hans watched as William took a blade from the table, running a finger all along the side. It wasn’t as pretty as Liselotte’s, but it would do.

Liselotte...

He turned back to the table, feeling around until he found the weapon he was looking for: a sewing needle. There were a few of them here, all still covered in blood, which was probably dangerous, but William would make sure to throw this one away when he was done.

“Hans. String.”

“Yes, sir!” Hans looked around wildly, then gasped, kneeling down to pull out a loose string from his shoelace. “How long?”

“Very.” William raised an eyebrow. He hadn’t expected Hans to actually find one in the moment, really he just wanted the boy to mess up on something. And then his father would be furious, and finally, William would see Hans afraid again.

“Got it!” Hans sprung back up again. “It’s a little curly, but I think it’ll do. What do we need it for?”

William took the string. “Traitors run mouths. Don’t deserve to open it again.” He narrowed his eyes, pushing the string through the tiny hole. “So can’t scream when you die.”

“W-Wait, I thought an execution was just a bullet to the head,” Hans said. “Or a knife to the throat. This sounds unnecessarily painful.”

“Huh?” William glared at him. “You don’t care. Everything’s necessary.”

“I just thought there were ethics about it, like my father taught me,” Hans said nervously. “You only torture a guy you’re trying to get information out of, but that doesn’t even really work. So I guess it’s just because it scares people. Or maybe just because we like seeing others in pain. But, you know, at the end of the day there’s still people on the other end of it, so you- you have to only torture responsibly. Right?” He nodded once, as if he was pleased with himself.

William could only stare. How had Hans come to such a conclusion? How had he even survived it? If William thought that way, he would never be able to torture somebody who deserved it. He’d taught himself long ago that the people on the other end of this were not people, they had crossed his path for a reason and were therefore just tools, steps he could climb on to reach his glorious destiny! To think of them as human was frankly insulting.

And yet here Hans was, hurting them despite the way he viewed them as being exactly that.

“Monster,” William spat.

“W-What?”

“Not people. Enemies. Feels better. You get better.” He batted Hans’ shoulder with his tail. “Trust me.”

Hans’ eyes widened slightly, and he nodded again. “Yes. Enemies. That makes sense. Thank you, sir.”

For all of Hans’ faults, William couldn’t deny that he took everything said to him to heart, and that he was obedient like no one else he’d ever met before. Perhaps he could make a great servant one day, after all. Maybe not even one day, maybe right now, if he could do this.

“Hans.”

“Yes?”

“Be strong.” William handed him the needle.

Hans took a deep breath as he fiddled with the needle, raising it over the traitor’s lips. “It’s not going to hurt,” William heard him say to himself.

Their traitor would have probably begged to differ, and, William supposed, he did beg, or at least he did before Hans finished sewing the lips shut. By the time he was done, there was blood running down his arms, and he let the needle fall at his feet, his hands shaking.

William narrowed his eyes, the stench of blood in the air crawling down his throat. But he held his breath and stepped forward. “Hold his head.” He knew he wasn’t tall nor strong enough to hold it up by himself.

Hans obeyed, and William ran the knife across the traitor’s throat. Out of the corner of his eye he saw de Witt watching from the shadows, then turning away just as William stepped back, the unworthy traitor falling before him.

“C-Can I go wash my hands now?” Hans swallowed, and William turned to look at him. There were tears in his eyes, but he was clearly trying to stifle his gasps, holding his head up and smiling when William looked at him.

Somehow William realized he didn’t want to see this boy afraid anymore. Yet he couldn’t let him run off, either; his father always had the same thing to say when William himself made that request.

“Let it lie on you. You get used to it.” Then he did something his father had never done. He took Hans’ hands in his own, which were wetter and warmer than he thought, but he didn’t draw back only because his hands were worse. “Good job.”

His father walked up behind him, slapping him behind the head. “No praise, William.”

Later, when they were washing their hands in the bathroom, that was when Hans began to cry, and William looked over at him.

“I- I’m sorry, sir,” Hans said, clearing his throat. “I just- I tried what you said, and it’s so hard when they- they still look like they’re hurting. I didn’t wanna say anything in front of your dad, but- but how can you do this? I wasn’t one who came here to kill people, I- I just wanted to learn to fight. To serve you.”

William tilted his head to the side. “They’re not hurting.”

“W-What do you mean?” Hans looked down at the blood he was washing off his hands. “This is all real.”

“No.”

“No?”

“Not real. Tricks. Think that way. Dwaallicht spirit tricks.” William leaned forward, tapping a finger against Hans’ skull. “Helps me. Then you get strong. Still enemies, but not real.”

Hans turned off the water, blinking down at William. “It might take me a while.”

“That’s your fault.” William whisked out of the bathroom with a conclusive lash of his tail.

Later that night, when his father was lying beside him, he asked what he thought of Hans.

“Very good. He should stay.”

“He should stay?” His father narrowed his eyes. “Very well. He’ll work beside you for the rest of his life. But make sure he always knows his place under you, or I’ll make sure to remind him. And you make sure you know your place above him, too.”

“Yes, sir.”

Liselotte was quickly informed of this new boy, and, much to William’s surprise, she was actually delighted rather than jealous as he thought she would be. She wanted to know everything about him, and was happy enough with what William told her, except for what he said about their positions.

“He works for me.”

“What- don’t you want to be friends with him?” Liselotte asked. “Like you’re friends with me.”

“Just want you.”

“Aw, but you need friends in your world too!” She patted him between the horns. “What if one day we can’t talk?”

“Never happening.”

“You don’t know that. Look, just in case, William.” She turned to him, holding William’s hands in her own. “Make some friends out there! He sounds super nice. I’d want to be his friend, if I were you. Besides, I think he wants to be yours, too. So I think the first step to making him one is to tell him to stop callin’ you sir. You’re younger than him, that’s just dumb.”

“But- but I’m the power,” William protested. Liselotte merely waved her tail in the air, the jaws snapping beside his face.

“So what? It’s a sign that you think he’s better than everyone else!”

William hesitated. Technically it went against what his father had told him, to make sure Hans knew his place, but as long as he didn’t find out...that would be okay, he thought. And maybe it would show Hans that he did mean it, if he was willing to undermine his father’s orders.

“Fine.”

The next time he and Hans met at another training session, where they were just testing out their aim, William took him aside as soon as he had the chance. The only other adult there was de Witt, loading some more guns for his older master and the younger one, but William didn’t mind if he heard this.

“Hans. Stop calling me sir.”

“What?” Hans drew back in shock. “Why? You’re the prince! You’re gonna rule the world one day!”

“Not right now. I’m William.” He flicked his tail uncomfortably. “Just not when my father is here.”

“If you say so, sir. I- I mean, William. William!” Hans clapped his hands together. “Yes, William. Did you know that’s my other name? Hans William. Hans William Bentinck. They named me after your father.”

“I like it,” William said honestly.

De Witt looked up, meeting William’s eye for a second there. He gave him a firm nod, and William took that to mean that he’d made the right choice. But he would have to ask later to make sure.

He did get to ask when William’s father had to go do other business, deal with some stuff back home, and so de Witt took William and Hans to Black&White for dinner. When Hans went to the bathroom, William immediately let his whole body fall back on de Witt.

“We share the same name!”

“You and Hans?” De Witt nodded. “Yeah, you do. What you did back there was-”

“Good, right?” William looked up at him expectantly. “I like him.”

“It was very good, William.” De Witt smiled down at him, patting his shoulder. “A boy like you needs friends. There’s no use in driving a potential one away by enforcing the divide that your father wants you to. Remember, William, you can gain more respect by treating others like equals. I think Hans is someone you need.”

Someone I need? Surely not— he’d lived ten years just fine without him. If he had to live another ten without him, he’d be okay.

Hans learned quickly. His hands still shook when he was ordered to kill someone, when his father told him to use the guns he had practiced with on real people, scared and desperate sacrificial lambs. He still cried afterwards, and William was just glad that he’d been introduced to this world far earlier.

But at the very least, Hans had taken what William had taught him and ran ahead with it. After the very last time he had cried because he had killed someone, he’d simply stated that he hated the dwaallicht spirits. He hated them because their predecessors had created this world, and he hated them because he’d made the toys of the Overlifers bleed.

“I hate their stupid tricks.” Hans blew his nose, and William leant against his shoulder to remind him he was there. “They should have made our enemies faceless so we know who to kill and don’t accidentally kill someone who doesn’t deserve all that pain. You see how they scream, William?”

“If enemies were faceless...too easy. A challenge by the oldest Overlifers. Tests your mind and spirit.” William patted his hand. “You’re getting better. Strong Hanni.”

Hans laughed when he heard the name, and that was when William decided to keep it.

There was one night, when the Bentincks invited them over for dinner. William’s mother had actually come, for once, and William could not take his eyes off of her. He saw too little of her now, as she was always shut up in her room, or William was always out with de Witt or his father. And he certainly couldn’t go see her at night.

But her eyes were on her husband, which was the most annoying thing ever. They saw enough of him all the time!

“More peas, Prince?”

William jolted and looked up at Hans’ mother. She’d been offering all sorts of food for him to try, but she’d apparently caught on that the only thing he really liked here were the peas. He nodded, and she laughed, petting him between the horns as she pushed more onto his plate. He would have to remember to reward her family when he ruled the world.

“That’s all you’re gonna eat? Aren’t you hungry?” The oldest of Hans’ siblings, Henry, looked down at him, and William smiled nervously, scooting away from him on his chair.

“Leave him alone, he just likes peas,” Hans said.

“Why are you defending him?” one of the younger sisters, Isabella, piped up. “Do you like him, Hansi?” She gasped, tugging at his sleeve suddenly when she saw his blush. “Ooh, you do like him! Hansi’s in love with the Prince!”

“I’m literally NOT—”

“Isn’t that some form of heresy?” Eusebius asked.

“I just said I’m not! Shut up!” Hans covered his face, and his mother laughed.

“You have high standards, Hans,” she said.

William blinked, looking up at his father. Is this what he meant when he said that Hans would be beside him for the rest of his life? He knew that a marriage would be arranged for him once they had taken over the world, but was that the plan already?

Somehow he wasn’t averse to it. Hans would make a pretty funny, if somewhat lame, husband. At least he was rich, too.

But William’s father only growled low and lashed his tail. “I don’t care what little Hansi thinks about my son. I have other plans for him to serve us in the Devils of Orange-Nassau, whatever may happen.”

The whole family fell silent, and William saw Hans look down uncomfortably.

“Hans is, admittedly, a very beautiful young man,” his father began. “Those golden locks look as if they belong on the manes of devils. And he’s a very good listener, proud and obedient. It has been a great pleasure working with him.”

What? William’s eyes widened. His father never praised anyone! Why was he praising Hans? Did he think he was better?

He looked back down, wiping furiously at his eyes. He didn’t know why it upset him so much now. He thought he’d gotten used to it. Behind him, he could feel Hans’ mother rubbing soothingly at his horns, and he leaned into the touch, glaring at his father out of the corner of his eye.

“Thank you, sir!” Hans sat up taller. “I’ve liked working with you and your son, too.”

“Indeed. I think it is time I inform you and your family of what I have decided for you.” The Overlifer looked to Hans’ father, his eyes darkening. “As I said, your son is a lovely boy. He has no features of the devil ancestors, and I believe you have told me before that your family belongs to an unbroken line of purely human ancestors. The devils never touched your bloodline. That makes him eligible to become an Ally.”

William stifled a gasp. Surely not! The Allies were their enemies! And besides, Hans would have to fight a devil. He was skilled, but a devil was something different— he was not prepared for that just yet.

“Me?” Hans’ eyes shone. “You’re gonna choose me?”

“Yes.” William’s father nodded. “We need a powerful Ally at our side to lend legitimacy to our cause in the eyes of the public, and to shake off suspicion by the government. There are restrictions on who can become an Ally, but what can the Master do once we have one?” He shrugged. “He’s not going to question the divine authority of the old devils. And if he does, he knows the business he’s up against. Especially since we have you— Allies are incredibly powerful. They bring in money constantly. They can swallow bullets. They can survive fires. Anything I can do at my fourth life, really. Doesn’t that sound nice, Hans?”

Hans nodded rapidly. “Yes, sir!”

“You would make my son an Ally?” Hans’ father shook his head. “Absolutely not, sir! Those Allies are a bunch of frauds, and all their worshippers do is objectify and use them for the sake of divine arguments! Besides, he has to fight a devil— do you know how dangerous those are?”

“I know very well.” His leader’s eyes flashed. “I never said he would have to become one now. We’ll give him time to mature, to fill out all nicely so he looks a bit more presentable. Regardless, he will become an Ally, whatever you say. And if that’s a problem?” He flicked his tail ever so slightly at William, but he saw the signal and recognized it immediately.

There was a light clink, and then William stood behind Hans’ father, his tail coiled multiple times around his neck, holding Liselotte’s blade up to his throat. He realized it too late, but it was the first one he had taken in his pocket. He only hoped his own father didn’t notice.

“William—!” Hans cried out.

“That’s sir to you, young man!” William’s father snarled. He looked back at his subordinate. “As for you, Bentinck, if any of my divine orders are a problem for you, then we can make it real easy for you to follow them. My son knows all the same tricks yours does; if he wanted to change your mind, he would know how to.”

Hans’ father blinked in shock, his hand raised slightly towards William’s tail. Then he bowed his head. “Very well. Forgive me, sir.”

William slowly withdrew his blade, stuffing it in his pocket and sitting back down to eat his peas. He was aware of the whole family staring at him and his father.

“Thank you,” his father said pleasantly. “Hans, come here.”

Hans hesitated before standing up, and William’s father pulled him close, ruffling his hair affectionately. “You’ll make a fine Ally, boy. We’ll begin your training for fighting the devils right away.”

William swallowed. He didn’t like the way Hans’ eyes were shining as he looked up at his father, nor did he like the way his father was looking down at Hans. He saw his mother look at Hans’ mother, but neither of them said anything.

What they learned next was the existence of handler spells, which were necessary to know as William would be Hans’ Ally handler, to neutralize any unwanted power and to protect himself. These spells were usually written on slips of paper in Infernal, which was quite a complicated language to write, William quickly found out. But whereas he picked it up easily, Hans had more trouble figuring out the shapes.

“Can’t we just do them without the paper?” Hans asked once.

“You are only able to do handler spells freely in the realm of the devils,” de Witt explained. “You’ll have your own powers once you’re an Ally, though, so you probably won’t have to worry about them for long.”

That was good, because Hans was also bad at activating the spells. Well, supposedly he wasn’t bad, he was actually doing fine, considering that most of the demonstrations on the part of de Witt or William’s father didn’t really work either. They said the devils were on the other end of the spell, so it was up to them to decide whether or not they would make the spell go through, which was stupid, William thought, because why were the Overlifers using the inferior devils for their power?

“Do the devils know?” William asked. “Who’s using the spell? Is that why it doesn’t work for us?”

“Of course they don’t know,” his father snapped. “They’re just being difficult. They only respond to someone with great power, great influence, you must control them—”

Bullshit! William took out a slip of paper containing the hardest spell he could think of and slammed it down with his foot. “Louis le Grand,  délivre-nous du tout mal!” he yelled as he did so, and in an instant the shadows all around the room sprung up and surrounded him in a giant, defensive circle.

He gasped. It was exactly what he had imagined it to be. He almost hadn’t expected it to work, though in hindsight, he supposed he should have, considering all the spells he had cast so far had worked out. Nothing like Hans’ attempts.

It was so quiet here. Maybe he would stay here forever. He sat down, staring up at the shadows, and then a hissing voice spoke from the shadows.

“Hello, Overlifer prince.”

William jolted, his tail twitching nervously. “Who said that?”

“Louis le Grand, or at least a reflection of me. I am the one you called for; I am delighted to be here. I’ve heard much about you, and- wait, what earring is it that you are wearing?”

William didn’t answer. It couldn’t be— the reason this spell was so difficult was because it called upon the ruler of the Southern Kingdom, and he never answered. But he came this time, and he was actually speaking to William. Liselotte’s king was speaking to him!

“William. Answer me.”

“No.” William twirled a finger in the air, and the shadows all crawled back slowly. He waited for Louis to speak again, but it seemed he had left.

He was met only with the stare of his father. His eyes seemed to be searching William’s own, their gaze snapping from him to the shadows and then back again. He looked...maybe angry, but William couldn’t pinpoint it, the unusual look he saw in his father’s eyes that somehow pleased him.

“What- what the fuck, William,” he blurted. “What the fuck was that?”

“Woah,” Hans breathed behind him. “You’re very powerful, sir.”

“Don’t call him that!” William’s father turned to hiss at him. “He is not. I- this training session is over! De Witt, take the boys back home, I’ve got work to do.” He left with a furious lash of his tail, leaving de Witt standing there with the most annoying smile William had ever seen.

“Very good. I’m proud of you, William.”

He knew it was bad to accept the praise, but he tilted his head up anyway, smiling over at Hans.

His father didn’t come into his room that night, which meant he had more time with Liselotte. She’d been keeping up with the spells he was learning, and was particularly fascinated by the one that involved her king. So when William told her, she was ecstatic.

“It actually worked? Like actually? What happened, what did he do?”

“Just the shadows,” he said. “He told me something, though.”

“What?” Liselotte gasped. “Seriously? No devil ever speaks when they send the spell out! How did he do that?”

“Don’t know. Just said he was a reflection of Louis.”

“A reflection shouldn’t talk!” She flicked her tail curiously and sat down beside him. “Well, what did he have to say?”

“Said he heard about me, I guess,” William said. “And then asked where I got the earring.” He narrowed his eyes accusingly at her. “I knew he was gonna notice. We’re so dead.”

“Excuse me, maybe you are so dead, but he doesn’t know I’m the one who gave it to you.” She batted her eyelashes. “As far as he’s concerned, you’re just a thief prince! And he’s gonna kill you when he meets you again, for sure.” She paused, taking his hand. “Serious talk, don’t cast that spell again. It might put you in danger.”

“It’s supposed to protect me.”

“The king’s not going to do that for the son of an Overlifer. He hates you and won’t stop now!”

The next night was just the same, with his father staying out. But this time it was de Witt who came in, and William shuffled back cautiously in case he had decided he wanted to do the same thing.

But de Witt only sat at William’s desk. “William, what you did yesterday was very impressive, calling upon Louis XIV like that. And you know something? It scared your father.”

“No, it didn’t. Nothing scares my father, he-” He paused, glaring at him. He wished it wasn’t true, but he’d figured it out long ago. “Nothing scares my father.”

“But this did,” de Witt insisted. “Did you see the way he looked at you? He’s finally scared, William, scared of you. Scared that you hold greater power than even he does.”

“Stop talking that way!” William cried. “There is nothing with greater power than an Overlifer!”

“Hush, William,” de Witt said, holding a finger up to William’s lips. “Please, just listen. Do you remember what I told you about William of the Western Kingdom? The Law of Honorable Succession is still in place!”

There it was, the famous old law that allowed heirs to kill their parents in order to succeed them themselves in whatever office they happened to hold. In Altos Diablos, it no longer served any purpose, but it was technically still legal.

“Are you telling me to kill my father?” he spat. “Are you crazy? Do you know how dangerous it is to even suggest that? That’s treason! I’ll take my place as the ruler when he dies-”

“But what if he doesn’t, William,” de Witt pleaded, taking William’s hand. “He’s on his fourth life and almost ninety, and you can’t even tell. He’s going to live forever if no one challenges him.”

“Remember that you’re trying to get me to kill your boss,” William huffed. “If he found out about this, you would die. And do you know who I am? I could tell him!”

“But you won’t.”

“Maybe I will!” William stood.

“You won’t because I’m right,” de Witt said firmly. “You don’t want to live like this forever. I’m not suggesting you kill him right now— you’re only a boy. But I’m telling you that your father is a monster and he has done nothing but hurt you. I wouldn’t even consider him your father at this point. You have every right to stand up for yourself.”

“So you disagree with his way of raising the future king of the world? That has never been up to you, and you’re not one to speak over it!” William’s tail lashed furiously. “You’re just jealous that your kids aren’t as powerful as I am! And that jealousy makes you a traitor of the worst kind!”

“Listen, William,” de Witt said. “I haven’t done anything yet. But I will tell you that your father’s insane. I realize that now, and I should have never joined him early on in his quest to bring the Devils to power. That was my mistake, but I don’t regret not leaving after you were born because it means I got to watch over you.”

“W-What are you-”

“I taught you to read, but I could never tell if my teaching was actually effective.” De Witt blinked, and William saw his eyes were oddly shiny now. “Because you didn’t speak. But I knew you understood most of what I was telling you, and I prayed to the Allies to protect you because I knew that that man had the potential to break you. Maybe it’s because you’ll one day be an Overlifer, but- but it seems that even then, nothing could have saved you.”

“You prayed to the Allies?” William whispered. “Oh, you are so going to die.”

“I don’t care what he does to me, William, I’m done,” de Witt said. “I’m not going to help him take over Altos Diablos and subject millions of innocent people to a genocide. I’m going to stop him, okay? And I don’t want you to be on the wrong side of this fight.”

William realized he was breathing heavily, his hand flying to his chest. “Y-You are a traitor.”

“And you’re brainwashed!” De Witt took William’s head in his hands, his hands gripping his horns tightly. “You’ve been raised in a cult, William! No child thinks that killing millions of people is okay! No child is raised to think that everyone owes them reverence, and certainly no child knows how to carry out murder! Do you understand, William? All of this is wrong, it’s not normal!”

“You’re wrong!” William was crying now, shaking his head out of de Witt’s grasp.”This is what our destiny has been for thousands of years! I’m not going to run from it now just because you feel bad for me! Maybe no other kid could handle what I’ve been through, but I can! ‘Cause when I grow up I’m gonna have it so much better than all of them! If they die, it’s gonna be because I said so!”

“Your destiny is inherently evil,” de Witt said. “And so is the way that you’ve been raised. You’ve been abused, beaten countless times; you’re scared of your father.”

“No! No, I’m not! All the pain’s gonna be worth it!” William was shrieking at him, and de Witt only stared helplessly down at him. “You just don’t know what it’s like!”

“Is that what you want to do? You want to kill people for the rest of your life just for disagreeing with you?”

“Yes, it’s- it’s what I- they- the old doctrine-” William couldn’t speak anymore, he thought he was going to faint. He stumbled forward, and de Witt caught him, holding him in his arms as he sobbed into his chest. He thought he heard the door open, footsteps enter, but he couldn’t tear himself away from de Witt.

“What is this?” That was his father’s low voice. “When I said you were excused, de Witt, I certainly did not mean you could come into my son’s room.”

“What have you been doing to him?!” That was his mother.

“Nothing like what you are suggesting, madam,” de Witt said. “I was only-”

“I- I had a bad dream,” William spoke up, finally looking over at his mother but refusing to let go of de Witt’s coat. “I called for you but- but none of you came. He did.”

His mother leaned back, her tail flicking from side to side, and her husband snarled, “Out, both of you. I want to speak to him alone.”

De Witt paused, and William looked up at him desperately. Don’t leave me alone with him!

But de Witt only smiled sadly down at him and pried his fingers off his coat. “Very well,” he said as he walked towards the door, meeting William’s gaze for a moment. “Good night, sirs.”

No, no, no. William’s eyes widened. Don’t go.

In turn, de Witt’s eyes narrowed, but he said nothing more. He turned and left, and William’s mother followed him out without a single protest, much to William’s disappointment. Maybe it would have been more acceptable to beg her to stay instead.

His father slammed the door behind him, locking the door with the narrow tip of his tail. “I thought you knew better than letting someone who isn’t me into your room.”

William swallowed. His tears hadn’t stopped; he knew what he was afraid of.

“Say something,” his father growled. “Anything, William. I’m tired of your silence.”

“I-I’m sorry-”

He didn’t have any time to finish that before his father pinned him back against his bed, and William attempted to cry out before his face was painfully forced down on its side, his father’s thumb in his mouth. Out of the corner of his eye he saw his father’s long tail hanging off the bed.

You’re too big to be here—!

His head was only freed when his father lifted it up to kiss his son’s lips, forcing his tongue in like he forced himself in a few seconds later. William fell back with a gasp, and his father kissed him again and again and again.

De Witt, come back in. Please, just open that door.

When that didn’t work, he turned to praying to the Allies, then to the devils when he remembered that apparently those hadn’t helped him either.

I’m sorry I want to kill you. Just make him stop. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.

Louis le Grand, délivre-nous du tout mal—!

It didn’t work, of course. Nothing worked, not until his father was satisfied. By then William was in agony like he’d never felt before, like all his organs were burning up inside of him. His lungs, too; every breath he tried to take seemed to shatter in his throat.

His father’s breath was shallow as well, warm against his cheek. “William,” he whispered. “You’re so much like your mother.”

William shut his eyes. He swore he was about to vomit. His body shook as he felt his father’s hands run over his chest.

He didn’t leave this time. He stayed, curling his hairless tail around his son and pressing his lips to William’s horns. William didn’t move, only focused on letting his breath back in. There was something dripping out from in between his legs, staining the fur on his tail. He wanted so badly to get up and wipe it off, maybe get his inhaler too, but his father held him tight.

It wasn’t until much later that night, after he’d fallen into a very unstable sleep where even Liselotte couldn’t reach him, that his father shook him awake. “William. Wake up.”

William blinked up at him. “H-Huh?” He felt all nauseous and sticky, and his head ached to the point that even looking outside at the moonlight was too much for him. He closed his eyes again.

“Get up. It smells in here.” His father nudged him to his feet, hastily dressing himself. He turned on the light, and William cried out, his tail flying to his face.

“Stop being dramatic.” His father twisted the tip of his tail, pulling it away from his face. He gripped William’s wrist tightly and led him out of the room, down to the bathroom where he ordered him to sit on the toilet as he set up a bath for him. William covered his eyes, trembling in the cold air. The only thing he wore was the earring Liselotte had given him.

“Come here, William.”

William stood, walking towards his father. The cool eyes looked him up and down as he nervously stepped inside the water.

“It’ll get better with time,” his father said. “It’s like everything else that you have learned.”

William nodded. He couldn’t form words even if he tried; even in his head they seemed to melt away as soon as he figured out what it was that he wanted to say. But in the back of his mind, he knew that there was dread because what his father said meant that this wouldn’t be the last time.

There wasn’t much spell training after that, at least not for William. Hans now went to these lessons himself, but luckily for William, he’d copy down the spells he’d learnt that day and would show them to William. Hans said they were hard to master, but William figured them out in no time, much to Hans’ admiration.

“You truly are destined to rule us all,” he breathed out. “Is that why your father doesn’t bring you around to train with me anymore? ‘Cause you’re better than him?”

“You really think that?” William asked, his heart twisting with both fear and hope.

“I- I, um-”

“I want to believe that I am better,” he went on, taking Hans’ hand. “But nobody else thinks that way except for de Witt. But I...don’t like him. I like you, Hans, and if you think I’m better I won’t tell.”

“Wait a second, did your daddy put you up to test me?” Hans cocked his head to the side.

“No! And even if he told me to, I wouldn’t do it.” William shook his head firmly. “That’s deceit and it sets you up to fail. I’m being for real here. Please tell me I’m better than him.” He winced; it sounded like a  plea to him.

“You...you are,” Hans said. “Way better.”

“Thanks.” William curled his tail around Hans’ body. Now that he thought about it, why did his father care so much about how his son treated his subjects? He may have been an Overlifer, but William was the one destined to succeed him. Did he not deserve the same respect?

I can do whatever I like! He can’t tell me what to do when the oldest law there is says I can kill him!

I can kill him.

He often found himself staring at that old painting in his book that de Witt had showed him years ago now. He saw the hatred in the eyes of the first devil and hated her too.

Despite Hans’ reassuring words, he was as desperate as ever for the approval of his Overlifer, which was a stupid and impossible thing to want when William was right there. He always made sure to tell Hans how good he was doing, how much better he was getting at striking fear into the hearts of their enemies. And yet it was his father he looked to for praise, and his father was the one looking at him in a way William didn’t like.

You two keep away from each other!

“There will be times when you don’t have weapons on you,” he told them one night, throwing their hostage to the ground right in front of them. “Between the two of you, I don’t think you even need them.”

“Wait,” their prisoner cried, shuffling back with her tail held up protectively in front of her. “I- I don’t have any information, sir, you don’t-”

“If I wanted information from you then I would have asked,” he said, stepping forward. “I just want to see the blood of an Easterner tonight.”

“M-My father is descended from the Western Kingdom—”

“Vile!” He slammed his foot down on her neck, and she yelped, reaching out towards William, who instinctively reached for his knife. But his father glared at him, and William drew his hand away.

“We can turn this into another lesson,” his father said, landing a hard kick on his prisoner’s side. “The future of the Western Kingdom cannot rely on traitors that breed with their enemies. They rear worthless children!” He brought her up by her horn, just as she lunged for his other hand with her teeth. But he met it with a forceful punch to her jaw that sent her stumbling back, her horn still trapped in his fist.

“Yes, kill the dirty Easterner, sir!” Hans cheered.

Dirty Easterner? William tilted his head to the side. Of course, the Eastern Kingdom was their enemy, but there was something she said, something about her tail so much like that of William’s father...

They watched him corner her, they watched him drive her head into the wall and pummel her stomach mercilessly until blood poured from her lips, until she was crying and begging him to stop, just as the great Overlifer snapped her horn off with nothing but his divine strength.

“One day you will be able to do this, William,” he said, pointing the horn at his son. “But for now, strangling makes a good way to go.” He squeezed her fingers around her neck, and William swallowed. He’d seen this inflicted too often on his mother, and it remained his least favorite way to kill somebody.

“If you’re low on time, of course, there’s this old way my mother taught me, but it takes a bit of strength...” He took the remaining horn on her head, pausing before jerking it sharply to the side. There was a loud snap! heard, and William saw Hans shudder.

“The point is, boys,” William’s father went on, wiping the blood from his hostage’s face, “you don’t need a weapon to show the world exactly what comes of traitorous matches.” He held his bloodied fingers up to them. “Behold, the soiled blood of an Eastern-Western hybrid.”

Eastern-Western hybrid...that’s never been wrong, has it? De Witt had never taught William that it was.

He flicked his tail forward. “I thought Mama was a descendant of the Eastern Kingdom. Aren’t we the same?” He lifted a finger to the tip of his tail. “This isn’t a Western Kingdom tail.”

His father’s eyes narrowed. “What are you saying?”

“Wait, are you serious?” Hans looked William up and down. “You’ve got Eastern blood in you?”

“M-Mama’s line has never been broken, right?” William stepped back. “I thought those unions were fine. Some of the old Overlifers said it is because they, um, still bring about more Western or Northern blood. And I thought you were okay with it too, I mean, specifically Eastern and Western mixing because, um, of Mama...” He shrunk back as his father advanced.

“You were a mistake, William,” he spat. “You think I would have chosen an Easterner to marry if I had known you’d turn out to be a retarded, wheezing little runt? I chose your mother because I can choose, as an Overlifer. And love is-” He paused. “I’m greater than the doctrines. I can change them however I like.”

“So what’s the new one?”

“The new one is shut the fuck up!” He slapped William hard across the face, enough to make him stumble to the side but not fall. He bit his tongue, keeping his gaze fixed on the floor ahead of him where his head had turned.

“Further proof that you don’t need a weapon to silence your enemies, only words will do,” he heard his father say to Hans. There were footsteps, and William hardly had time to look up before his father’s tail came up to his chin. “As for you, William, you remember what I’ve told you here. An Overlifer cannot break rules and he cannot follow them, because he creates them.”

“Yes, sir,” William said faintly.

His father scowled. “You disappoint me.”

It wasn’t anything remarkable to William; that was all he had ever seemed to do to his father. He wasn’t sorry about that, though. He was just sorry that he only ever seemed to disappoint himself as well.

What was worse was that it was Hans who his father praised instead, his eyes like a Southern snake’s as he hissed out every prideful word. William didn’t even know why he did it; he didn’t look like he liked speaking to Hans. But he figured it out during another training session, after Hans finally managed to cast a particularly hard spell.

“Very good, Hans,” de Witt said. “You’ll make a natural Ally.”

“Thank you, sir,” Hans said absently. His eyes were all on William’s father, who was staring at him, leering, even, from the shadows. That was why William hated training anywhere that wasn’t their home— everywhere else seemed too dark, but his father loved it.

“Yes, you are very skilled, Hans,” he said slowly. “I think you deserve a gift from your Overlifer, don’t you think? The best thing I can offer you.”

“Oh? What is that, sir?” Hans cocked his head to the side.

What’s he getting at? William narrowed his eyes.

“Come here, Hans,” his father said. “Do you want to kiss your great leader?”

“Oh!” Hans nodded rapidly. “Yes, of course! It’d be an honor!” He ran over to his Overlifer, who bowed his head to kiss Hans on the lips. Hans was rather awkward with it, William noted distastefully; everyone knew you had to close your eyes during it, and you had to at least lean into it.

Nonetheless, Hans was happy, his eyes shining as he bounced back. William felt sick, and he heard de Witt murmuring in shock behind him.

“That’s- that is-”

“An honor,” William said bitterly. “An honor to kiss the greatest Overlifer.”

And what honor he received that night, indeed. William didn’t admit it out loud, but he almost preferred this than seeing Hans kiss his father. As long as no one knew and no one saw them. He didn’t know how Hans had even liked it; when his father kissed him again, he wanted to rip the Overlifer’s tongue out with his teeth.

The next morning William got up just to vomit, as he had been for a few days now, and then he went back to bed. He wished Liselotte stayed asleep for longer; he always wanted to see her one last time before the day began. With his father right there, their meetings were getting shorter and shorter.

“William.” De Witt had come to visit that day, mostly because his leader had ordered him to, along with a few others. But he came to William’s room and knocked softly on the door, and William’s heart jumped. He closed the book he was reading reluctantly.

“De Witt,” he said. “Come in.”

“William, I-” De Witt flung open the door, and William looked up at him with wide eyes. “Your- your mother tells me that you’ve been waking up sick these past few days. And you look so tired. I’ve had enough of seeing you like this, William, and after what happened yesterday with Hans I feel as if I have to ask you something.”

Oh, no. William swallowed.

“You know what kissing is,” de Witt said slowly. “And you know the connotations, right? You know what it means? You’ve read the devil legends.”

William nodded.

“Does your father kiss you?” De Witt bent down beside him, and William fixed the wall with a hard stare. He bit his tongue and then began to cry, nodding rapidly and leaping into de Witt’s arms. He knew he was in trouble now; his father had told him not to tell anyone!

What have I done?! He buried his head in de Witt’s shoulder, muffling his sobs and taking deep breaths until they began to run from him.

“Shh, William, it’s okay,” de Witt whispered. His voice was oddly shaky, which scared William even more. “It’s okay, I’m going to find a way out for you. You don’t deserve this. I’m so sorry I didn’t know.” He rubbed at William’s back.

William’s tail quivered, and he slowly sank to his knees, so that de Witt had to sit on the floor beside him. “Don’t- don’t tell anybody.”

“Of course I won’t.”

“If you do, I’ll kill you—!” William leaned back and glared at him.

“I know,” de Witt said. “I don’t doubt it.” He took William’s hands. “Listen, William, if you want to leave the Devils of Orange-Nassau, if you want to live a normal life, then you should start now. Whatever happens, I will be beside you, and I’ll help you out of here. But we have to do it before you’re older, so that everyone knows you weren’t complicit in this..”

“No.” William shook his head, standing up again. “N-No, I can’t go. I don’t want a normal life.”

“You cannot prefer this,” de Witt said, exasperated. “William, you deserve to be happy.”

“I’m happy,” William protested. He was starting to cry again, though, and he stumbled back, curling up in the corner of the room. His bed no longer felt welcoming enough to hold him in moments like these. “I am happy!”

De Witt started to walk towards him, but William glared at him. “Go away!”

“You-”

“That’s an order!” William cried, and de Witt winced. “You’re trying to make me leave!” He fell back, coughing hard. Out of the corner of his eye he saw de Witt hesitate, reaching out briefly before turning away with a twitch of his tail and leaving him alone.

William bit down on the urge to call out for him again. He covered his face with his hands, trying to slow his breathing, and he heard footsteps come from his doorway. Those weren’t de Witt’s.

“William.” It was his mother’s gentle, but firm voice. “What’s going on? De Witt said you were upset. Did he upset you?” He felt her presence over him, and she took his hands from his face. “You can tell me the truth, William.”

“Can I?” William asked. When he looked into her eyes, he felt the sting of them more than when he met his father’s gaze. He felt at times that she was no longer proud of the little prince she had raised— which was just great, neither of his parents cared for any of his gifts and the power he would hold as an Overlifer. Why was he here at all, then?

“Why don’t you love me anymore, Mama?” he whispered.

“What?” She leaned back in shock. “Of course I love you, William.”

“You leave me alone with my lord,” William went on. His chest was still heaving, and he rested a hand on it, trying to slow it down. “Y-You don’t come back. You’re never there when I cast a spell or kill someone. What am I doing wrong?”

“William...” Her eyes narrowed in a way that made him shudder. “You can’t seriously think I can be proud of raising a murderer and extremist.”

“I-It’s not extreme,” William said, looking away. “It’s the truth that nobody knows.”

His mother sighed. “Once I thought that way, too, William. I thought we were the heroes. That’s part of why I- I suppose you could say that I fell in love with your father.” She shook her head, glancing down. “But as time went on I saw it for what it really was.”

“And what is that?”

“I can’t say, can I? Or you’ll run off and tell him.” She stood up again, glaring down at him. “You should have never been born, William. I love what you could have been, but he ruined you. He ruined all of us, and now he will destroy the world!” She spat the last sentence out frantically. “I love you, William. But only because as a mother, that is what I should feel about you. Otherwise I would have drowned you before you could even take your first breath.” Without another word, she whisked out of the room, and William could only stare.

That night was one of the only times William told Liselotte of what happened in his world.

“My mother said she wishes she would have killed me.”

Liselotte didn’t seem very surprised. “Don’t you think maybe all mothers want to do that at some point?”

“I guess,” William said. “But they should keep it to themselves.”

“Yeah.” Liselotte shrugged like she didn’t care, but her tail snapped its jaws and shook with displeasure as if it had tasted something foul.

And maybe he would have gone on like that, with the knowledge that he’d just lost his mother too. He found it hard to blame her, though; having seen the suffering she had been subjected to because of one Overlifer, why wouldn’t she be suspicious of the next one that came along?

Still, it stung, and he no longer found solace in the presence of neither de Witt nor his mother. He was afraid, though not of them. He didn’t know what scared him so much. All he knew was that he wanted it to go back to the way things were— when the only reason that he was afraid was his father.

It was Hans who comforted him in the waking world, Hans who put all his faith in him now. And so it was Hans who he told about what his father had been doing to him. Then he asked if his father did the same.

“No,” Hans said simply. He looked more confused than anything. “He only kisses Mama. Not us, never like that. It sounds gross.”

“It is,” William said. “Every time. ‘Cause it hurts.”

“The kissing?”

“And...the other things,” William said. He took a breath. “It hurts really weird. Like, not the worst pain you’ve ever felt. But the strangest. You feel it inside of you for days after he’s carved you up. It’s like he’s looking for something, but I can’t give it to him.”

“Why don’t you ask?” Hans said.

“He doesn’t like it when I talk.” William looked down. He didn’t feel the same anguish he had felt upon telling de Witt; no, this was a strange, detached anger. “Only wants me to say what he likes to hear.” He looked up again, blinking away tears. “Don’t ever kiss him again, okay?”

“I find it a great honor,” Hans said, but William shook his head fiercely.

“It isn’t,” he said. “Don’t ever say that. It scares me and it hurts and it’s wrong. Didn’t it feel wrong to you?”

“Maybe a little? But it can’t be-”

“Ugh, Hans, I thought you’d get it!” William cried out suddenly. “I’m not some spirit you can just kidnap and do this to, I’m his heir! I’m gonna be an Overlifer! And I hate it, okay?”

“I’ve just read some things in the devil legends, like the ones with doomed lovers and conquered enemies and all that.” Hans shrugged. “They make it sound nice. I’m sorry that it’s so rough and mean.”

William didn’t know why Hans was so surprised. To him, the legends always sounded cruel, downright disgusting sometimes, especially when he read about a devil lord being conquered by another. He couldn’t read them without wondering if he was just a beaten enemy under his father, and yet of equal standing.

Maybe I am supposed to like it. Maybe that was what he had been getting wrong. If the devils could do it, surely he could do it better.

So when his father came into his room again, William bit back any protest and decided not to waste any time with their fake little greetings when they pretended that they cared about each other. Instead, before his father could say a word, he pushed him to the bed insistently, much to his father’s amusement, and was the one to crawl over him instead of the other way around.

“Excited already?” His father laughed, which was such a rare sound that it made William freeze. “Do you at last find me impressive?”

William agreed, though he really didn’t know what that meant. To shut his father up he kissed him on the lips. It didn’t feel any better than he thought it might have. As soon as he felt the tongue slip through he recoiled as if he had kissed fire, but his father pulled him back down by the horns.

If anything, he realized he had made a terrible mistake, that this was worse. There was still pain, awful pain and the feeling of the cold hands on his waist, but this time there was the knowledge too that he had asked for this. And he didn’t know why he would ever want it.

Whenever he thought his father would finally leave, he would have something else for William to do. It was the longest he had ever stayed here, and at some point William realized he was crying, once more held under his father like always. There was a frenzy behind his father’s movements, something that could not allow him to stop no matter what William said or did. And so it hurt like it never had before, like he was being torn apart over and over again, the fire in him rising to his lungs until he was choking on every gasp.

He was sure that this was when he would die. He thought he was going to. He closed his eyes and under his breath prayed to the devils like the first time, begged them to set him free. If he was going to die here, then kill him now, because he could not bear it any longer.

And when he was met with silence, he screamed as loud as he could, to reach their divine ears in their realm.

They answered his call, it seemed, but not by killing him. His father stopped his movements briefly, slapping William and hissing at him to shut up. William whimpered and tried to push him away.

“What? What is it, William?” His father took his hands and easily pinned them to the bed. “You want me to leave?”

William couldn’t say anything. He was still gasping for air. His father raised an eyebrow and leaned in to kiss him again.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he said. “And neither are you.”

“William.” A breathless voice came suddenly from behind them both, and William felt his heart stop. That was his mother’s voice. He had no idea which William she was talking to.

His father didn’t even turn around. He simply lifted his head and narrowed his eyes on the wall. “Mary.”

William could see her clearly if he lifted his head, standing in the doorway. Her eyes were wide, and her legs shook as if she wanted to turn and run. But she stayed.

“What- what is this?” she asked.

“You want to come in and help, Mary?” Her husband at last looked back at her, and she went pale.

“N-No,” she whispered. “Never.”

“Are you going to stay?”

“I-” She paused, looking down and shaking her head miserably. “No.”

“Then get out. If you tell anyone about this, it’ll be a bullet in you next.” He said it so firmly that William knew he was not lying at all. “By the way, Mary, our son is better at this than you are.” She began to step away, and William opened his mouth to tell her to please stay. To protect him. But he knew in his heart that there was nothing she could have done, nothing anybody could do. So he watched her leave him alone with her husband, his father.

#give me a break i haven't read this in like two weeks so some stuff might be ~scuffed~ #i did revise and edit as soon as i was done #this chapter can best be described as ~kids in places where there should not be kids~ #i kinda didn't want to add the disclaimer but. just in case #bc theres always crazy ppl out there #six lives won't make you happy #eugh this was hard to write. but fun nonetheless !!

[vveirdnobdy]

Apologies for taking so long my Trigun brain rot is festering (my current personality)

ANYWAYS THE 3 SENTENCE WIP THINGY I WAS TAGGED IN TWICE BOTH BY @salaapaoo LMAO SO YOU GET TWO LITTLE BITS !!

-

'Choi Han looks up at Cale once more, noticing the sunrise in the background, the colors painting the sky’s matching Cales hair swirling in the wind. The tree’s red leaves complete the picturesque scene. With the swirls of color and the glow of the sunset, it looks like something straight out of a painting.'

-

Cale should be asleep already, maybe another coughing fit is coming? The memory of blood coming out of the redhead’s mouth comes back to him, fighting off a shiver.

Glaring at Choi Han, Cale grabs Choi Han’s wrist pulling him towards Cale. 

‘What-‘ Choi han whispers out.

 ‘If you are so determined to stay by my side, no matter how unnecessary, you should still get some sleep. Now lay down or so the gods help me and I will start walking to the damned swamp myself right now.’

--

Two little tidbits for OG!Cale Getting SR !! I promise ill finish it eventually I'm almost finished with the outline (we're gonna ignore I'm 13k deep THIS IS MEANT TO BE A ONE SHOT HELP-)

Also, is this post being made as a slight apology for what might become trigun spam here soon- Yes. Watch Trigun Stampede it good besties I promise. ;-;

ALSO KONA IS THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW IN THE FANDOM SO IDK WHO TO TAG REBLOG IF YA WANNA I GUESS-

#lout of the counts family #lout of the count’s family #trash of the count's family #trash of the counts family #og cale henituse #og cale #choi han #chch #I love them your honor #also expect trigun brain rot posts #finished both animes and im reading the manga now #ahahaha

[yourlocalnicknackkinnie]

Character Bingo: Nick Nack (HP:MS)

@dolly-royal @omggypsyesmeraldathings-blog (I know you asked for Riley too but I'm making it a separate post since its the same character :3 )

Alrighty lets begin (It's gonna be very long because I've got a lot of things to say about him)

They are so cool looking

I gotta admit, he looks very cool. Even tho some prople say he looks like James Charles (Which I STRONGLY disagree) I love his design. I personally like his clothes, the man has drip. Heck, I literally painted a white blazer for a cosplay but now I just wear it when I'm not in cosplay anymore. I also like his facial structure since it gave me a challenge to draw him before but now I've gone used too it. (I can go on and on)

Everyone but me is wrong about them

Ok, so this is just a little joke (I do believe in other people's headcanons about him) but I would make this joke of "As a Nick Nack Kinnie, he would defiantly do that" if there's something that I think he would do.

Wasted Potential

Ik hes in the prequel but he could have more potential in the first game too (Since his model was already made). I think that Nick could've been in the tea party with Mortimer and Riley at the end instead of Kathy. (IDK but stillll)

If they were real I would be afraid of them

Ok, maybe a little startled but still- I mean, he's a puppet that wants a human as his host. But I headcanon that when you say that he's your favorite, he'll stop, cry and just be nicer to you. (Since he doesn't want to harm a fan)

They are deeper then they seem

for some reason I feel like there's something more about Nick that we don't know. The fact that he might have the urge not hunt for Owen and his urge to do it is strange but maybe there's more context in the game when its realesed.

They got done DIRTY by fans

So one time I tried to look how far the fandom has got. So every fandom has R34 art so I decided to type it in on google and OH I REGRET MY DECISION. I found a Nick Nack one- (IDK if that counts tho but still)

Didn't get enough screen time

This applies for the first game. like- we only see him in the shadows and that's it.

I want to carry them in a handbag like a tiny dog

Well kinda, I don't own any handbags but I wanna put him in a back pack instead with him poking out of it. If i had a Nick Nack puppet i would put him in there, let him poke out of it and go out with him like that for aesthetic purposes (And probably comfort reasons as well).

Nothing I like about them is technically canon

Another joke one. I do like things that are canon but I like to come up with headcanons to make me like him more than usual.

Why do they look like that

I don't mean his Midnight show ver. I meant his model that was supposed to be in the first game. What happened to his eyes? Where his is little beard thingy? (I headcanon that the eyes are supposed to be a mechanism that was added in later. like Puppet contact lenses I guess. it was later added because it wasn't in the blue prints so it was just a last minute idea Owen came up with)

Im mentally ill about them

Help, my mind is all about him now- send help (JK)

Wow... they are LITERALLY me!

Yep, that's me (As my username says it) I relate to him a lot. from my interests to maybe personality. heck I made a list of it and there's a lot of things I kin him that its scary. Ex. liking arts, having mood swings, being a tea person, likes to sing (the difference is that I think my voice sounds horrible) and more things-

They've never done anything wrong in their life <33

Ok, Ok maybe he has done some thing wrong in his life but at least he has the urge to not kill us-

So that's all for now. I could make a headcanon post about him on here (Pls reblog or comment down if you want something like this cause I have a lot of headcanons for Nick and plus I love making this kinds of posts)

#hello puppets #nick nack #hello puppets midnightshow #character opinion bingo #headcanon

[memberofthatonefandom]

In Space With Markiplier is So Special to Me and Here's Why

So I don't usually post original stuff on tumblr. I use this place to reblog funny posts and art, but I just had to post this here in hopes that Mark (@markiplier , just to be sure) would someday see it, and also I just needed to scream into the void about In Space and how much it means to me so so much.

So SO many spoilers ahead for parts 1 and 2 of ISWM. Also long as hell post

So I, like many others, went into In Space thinking of it like Heist. I was focusing on finding the "good ending" and making the "right choices" and finding all the easter eggs. But once Part 2 came out, I don't know what changed, but I immediately stopped seeing it like that. I started choosing the options not based off of video length or likelihood of getting a little reference to a past video, but based off of what I thought the right direction was, and what I would do personally in that situation. And the experience became so much more personal once I started looking at it like that. I started connecting with the characters in a way I just didn't with Heist or Date. I was sitting by myself in my room answering questions and responding to characters Out Loud In Character. It was like I was acting but with myself, it was wild. I don't think any other piece of digital media has pulled me in like that before.

I could talk about how much I loved the storytelling in In Space FOREVER, but I want to talk specifically about the moments that got me the most. First off, the first diner scene. Sitting there in this weird space diner with Old Man Mark, my vibes toward him (much like I think the Captain would've been at that point) were extremely standoffish. I didn't trust him, I was on guard, but when he started apologizing and realizing his mistakes and accepting that blame I immediately started feeling for him. I could already see the story in my head of Mark, younger, trying for a lifetime to fix what he thinks you broke only to realize at his old age that it was his fault all along. Fucking incredible. The constant jumping down the wormhole was fun, I went right every time on my first run, but when I got to the first opportunity to warn Mark not to go back during the bomb defusal bit, the vibe just Shifted. Immediately. One of my favorite tropes/things in media is a character who breaks another character out of any kind of time loop, or trance, or whatever, so getting to do that with Mark and watching him realize that he knows you and he calls you Captain on instinct but doesn't realize why at first. That whole scene was just fantastic.

And I wanna break paragraphs again to talk about the entire ending stretch. I will never forget the emotional feeling that I got watching the entire ending sequence for the first time. OBVIOUSLY the sequence with the "Space Was Cool" song meant a lot to me, when I was younger I would always put on music to sleep, and the original song would come on without fail every night, so needless to say that song Means A Lot To Me, but I think a scene that really hit me was the final scene in the diner. The way its just abandoned, all dark except for that one blue light (like Mark described it as being "lit by the final moon" or something similar) and Old Man Mark with his candle. It's so somber as a scene, but somehow so calming. Old Man Mark accepting the fate of the universe now that things are finally, finally going to end. In my head, I always saw (or I guess I always played) the Captain as being understanding. We've come all this way together, us and Mark, and we couldn't stop the universe from collapsing sooner, but we tried and we had a hell of a lot of fun along the way. There's just something about it, the Diner at the End of the Universe as the universe finally ends. And it's all empty now, its just the Captain and Mark here alone together as the universe caves in. And the only way I can describe it is poignant. Like its so sad, but its so calm at the same time. It's just this moment of acceptance. And the way that as the Captain walks toward the warp core, they don't stop to turn around until after the narrator is finished talking. It's almost like they were going to try to defy him one last time by not stopping to look back, before realizing that this very well could be the end of everything if they didn't stop Mark here in the next room, and they really really wanted to take that look back for just a moment. Or at least, that's how I played it. Like I said, my Captain was always pretty understanding, pretty sentimental, and definitely would've stopped to look back at the empty diner.

The final scene in the warp core. God where do I even begin? The timelapse of Mark rebuilding (or I guess building) the warp core, the echoes of your past (or future) conversations with him, the way that all of the Mark's turn to look at you at once before the real one appears. And yes I know everyone else on this god forsaken website was turned on by this scene, but honestly I was mostly just intimidated. Seeing Engineer!Mark, someone who we've seen to be goofy and incompetent, someone who doesn't even take himself seriously, suddenly be so serious that he won't even humor your attempt to take back the crystal from him? It was a little scary, like I said earlier the vibe Shifted instantly. I went from the somber conversation with Old Mark in the diner to a determination to stop This Mark from kickstarting the events that would lead to another infinite loop. So of course I chose to Hold On. Not because I thought it would lead to the "good ending," but because I put myself in the shoes of the Captain, and I knew that at this juncture My Captain would never let Mark fall back into the infinite loop he was about to put himself in, because he deserved to be free of it and know the truth. His heart was in the right place the whole time he just needed to see what he was doing was wrong. And that's why the entire scene of his breakdown hit so hard (and I think the Who Killed music might've done something to help with that). Its a testament to Real Life Markiplier's acting and how much he's improved over the years, because I was really feeling for him in this whole scene. And just the visual of the Captain, sitting there with Mark, comforting him through this horrible realization, as the universe breaks itself apart one final time so that it can go back to where it Should Be. And then waking up on the ship, and having this quiet understanding between the Captain and Mark that something happened and they've been through so much over who knows how long of a timespan, but they made it out on the other side because we didn't give up on Mark. This whole entire sequence. A fucking masterpiece of storytelling and cinematography. And I want to take a moment to commend the entire cast and crew on what a fuckin banger they've made.

But to Mark specifically, if you ever read this, I want to thank you specifically for In Space. It has not only affected me on such an emotional level that it's all that I've been thinking about for the past week since Part 2 came out, but it's also inspired me to get back into filmmaking. I've been deeply interested in it for years but never started really making videos because I was so scared of them being imperfect, but hearing you talk about it on the livestream yesterday really got me thinking, and I really want to start it up again. So Thank You To Mark Specifically for lighting that fire again with this incredible project, and in honor of that, my first Big Video Project might just be a tribute to In Space, if I can find people willing to film it with me.

Bottom line is, In Space with Mark is REALLY FUCKING COOL OKAY and it means a lot to me, and Mark inspires me a lot as an artist and I'll be thinking about this dumb little Engineer man for the next few months maybe longer

#in space with markipler spoilers #in space with markiplier #in space with mark #iswm #iswm part two #iswm part 2 #iswm spoilers #iswm captain #iswm mark #markiplier

[doodleybugg]

i. apologize for the inactivity guys. i had a rlly bad episode recently and although im back rn i can't promise how long i'll stay JDBDHD

ANYWAYS how about we have a little update? (triggering topics such as sh, ed, etc descriptions will be in red, bold text! i'll try to keep most of the negative stuff at the bottom but no promises :/)

so i forget how long i've been gone exactly, i remember logging in some rare occasions to like and reblog a couple posts but otherwise i've been extremely M.I.A (pun very much intended) and honestly that's been a bit stressful for me.

i've had a LOT of drama in classes. yeah that's right, ya girls in uni now! and i am failing SO BAD. it's rlly hard going to school everyday, like i hate it i just wanna go back to working at a shopping mall or smth lol. but hey the map of my cities kinda set up well, being the uni is right next to a lake, and on the other side is a parking lot w mcds, circle k, chatime, etc. and next to the parking lot, like legitimately across the street, is my house. i moved back in with my mom cuz rent was getting too steep, and honestly id rather be on the streets lol

probably the biggest update ihave; i'm a did system. i got the diagnosis early december, and with a shit ton of research and help from friends who have the disorder because the doctors are no help, i'm getting comfy with the label.

if you're not sure what did (disassociative identity disorder) is, it's basically a disorder which defines the presence of two or more different persons in your mind, alike to multiple personality disorder. again, i'm not a professional, and you'd think my doctor would have given me a run down on why it meant before he diagnosed be but here's how it went:

me: hey, so i haven't looked much into the subject, but my one friend who has did was telling me about their experiences and they lined up with a lot of mine. i think i might want to go about being tested

doc: mia. you don't need to get tested, it's already in your file. we've spoken about this before?

me: ...i don't think we have?

doc:

me: so you're saying you diagnosed me with did and didn't even tell me about it?

doc: well, at least you're aware now, right?

yeah. so that's two doctors i've gone through in the past three years. i didn't throw a stressball at this one, but fuck i wanted too!!

anyways, i guess i should introduce some of my alters :)

i'm mia (she.they.fae.), the host and little, i identify with how the body looks.

enzekai (he.they.it) is the co-host and caretaker, as well as the first alter i purposefully made. kai has many sources, but his main is actually an oc of mine, cairo!

and dwelle (it.she.boo) is our resident trauma holder and nonhuman. she formed recently while i was splitting and hasn't had much time in the front. her main sources are casper from girl in pieces and cassie from skins.

i'll give everyone a better intro but i'll save that for another post!

i have gotten absolutely zero progress done in my book, the toll it takes, and i find it harder and harder to write anything but immensely sad poetry anymore. on the rare occasions i can make up some headcanons but i don't think i'll be able to write any (good) fanfics for a while now, sorry

okay, onto the bad stuff. if anything listed is triggering or unappealing, please don't read ahead: ed (anorexia), sh (cutting, self sabatoge), anxiety and depressive thoughts, suicide mentions, death mentions, and otherwise explanations of feelings like abandonment and lonliness that while, in retrospect wasn't nearly as bad as i thought so, can still be upsetting just to read.

you've been warned

recently, as mentioned above, i've just gotten out of an episode; a bad one. by gotten out of, i mean i've attached myself to select people and depend entirely on them to keep me from self harming or starving. and that's completely unfair, so i've been trying to recover. my friend @my-elysian-love is helping me immensely to eat full meals and reminding myself that i don't deserve what i think i do. i'm so eternally grateful and i can never repay any of them back <3

before my choice to try recovering though, it was getting worse. i weighed 68 pounds at 19 years old. a couple nights ago, i've cut deeper than i ever have before, and i've been stuck with this sinking feeling in my stomach that i can't quite explain. i took out all my bad feelings on people i knew and loved, and when they finally held healthy boundaries and left me to my own devices so i couldn't hurt them, i took everything out on myself. i know, real remus lupin move haha.

but that wasn't fair. and even now i still feel bad, i still hate myself for what i said and did, for how i acted and it scares me how easily people are forgiving me. because i said some messed up shit while i was splitting, and that's not an excuse. and i just keep thinking it's only a matter of time before i blow up again, and maybe i'll be worse next time. maybe people won't come back, and i can't honestly blame them because i'm fucked. and as scared as i am, i'm grateful. or maybe it's just selfish. selfish because i just hate when nobodies around for me to love, to love me back. but i'm still terrified. it's hard to change up my thinking, but i'm trying. i'm trying rlly hard and i just hope that it's enough.

i'm a couple hours clean for self harm, and yesterday i didn't technically eat a full meal like i was supposed too (my older sister got mad at me and wouldn't let me eat anything). i had multiple cookies, a fruit roll up, two cups of tea, a packet of uncooked ramen noodles, a bite of a chicken finger and also i drank water! just water! for the first time in a while.

i hate that it took me fighting with everyone i loved to the point where i didn't even need to push them away anymore, they went willingly, and having multiple panic attacks in public restrooms to finally start on the road to recovery. it is so fucking hard, it's really hard. but fuck, it's worth it to see my friends happy. to not detect worry in their eyes and to believe it when @my-elysian-love says they love me (again i'm so sorry for spamming you aaa). it's worth it to finally eat cinnamon buns again, and drink tea with real sugar, not cal free sweetener. i get a shit ton less headaches cuz i don't constantly need to count cals anymore, and i haven't passed out of dehydration in 2 whole days. ik people without eds are probably like "wtf is this bitch on about?" and that's what i'm talking about. recovery is never the same as sobriety, but it's the next best thing. and i might still struggle with my body or cover up with baggy clothes sometimes but at least i'm alive to do so. cuz a while ago i was too close to death.

i attempted to kill myself again. this time by starving and eating a buncha pills. i'm lucky cuz it didn't work, and i'm still alive. i can only think of what would've happened if it didn't work. if the last. thing i did was tell someone i loved and cared about that i didn't care if they were dead. that the last thing i did was get mad at them for feeling for someone else the same way i felt for them. yk, bpd moments ✨. but i'm glad i lived to apologize and now i'm trying to recover. and ig that's all the updates i have rn

[amynchan]

I posted 2,891 times in 2022

That's 98 more posts than 2021!

314 posts created (11%)

2,577 posts reblogged (89%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@mrevaunit42

@mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess

@chaotic-cheshire

@rainbowrider1290

@amynchan

I tagged 2,191 of my posts in 2022

Only 24% of my posts had no tags

#mdzs - 959 posts

#wei wuxian - 496 posts

#xd - 474 posts

#jiang cheng - 355 posts

#lan wangji - 309 posts

#x'd - 231 posts

#jin ling - 167 posts

#lan sizhui - 107 posts

#nie huaisang - 101 posts

#lan jingyi - 98 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#he plays chenqing and from beneath the wooden floors a corpse emerges screaming about how their spouse killed them for life insurance money

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

yk, I was p okay with going along with the interpretation that Lan Zhan chose 'Sizhui' because he was longing for Wei Wuxian, but what if it's something else? 'Sizhui,' according to the translations, means to remember and long for. The second half is what makes everyone go "Lan Zhan is just so in love with Wei Ying!" While that's true, the courtesy name should show what you want for the kid, right?

So, when Lan Zhan chose 'Lan Sizhui,' what if he was just saying "I want you to remember, eventually, where you came from and who protected you in this world"? He already remembers Wei Wuxian and the Wen remnants, and I wonder if it ever killed him that little A-Yuan had forgotten?

186 notes - Posted February 5, 2022

#4

See the full post

218 notes - Posted May 3, 2022

#3

Everyone's got a right to their own experience with characters.

Like, it's more than an opinion. People experience things when they're faced with characters that act a certain way. Characters are often exaggerated in order to help the story along, and stories are meant to affect people, so good characters affect people. Some of the effects are intentional, some of them aren't, and it's 100% okay that people have a different experience than you.

Like, when I was watching Encanto, I was so excited for Abuela to come talk to Mirabel. To me, that was a step towards healing. Abuela knew where Mirabel had gone and had actually gone to talk to her. Not only that, Abuela was being real and ate her own words of her own volition. That was amazing for me, who doesn't see that happen a whole lot and wishes to high heaven that it would happen more often, and I was thrilled. However, my siblings, who've had older people come to talk to them when they just wanna be left alone, immediately wanted Abuela to fall into a ditch. They wanted Mirabel to get angry and stand up for herself and defend her worth and her actions.

Neither of these interpretations are the wrong way to interact with Abuela because our difference didn't mean that we instantly hated each other. Instead, it was kinda fascinating to see where they were coming from because I'd never seen someone actively coming up to you and being straight up as a bad thing, and I hope they thought my POV was at least a little interesting. We didn't belittle each other or call each other names or accuse one another of being xyz because we interacted with a set of characteristics differently from one another.

Characters are characters. Good characters—not "moral" or "righteous" or "best," but "good"—make the audience feel things.

In Fruits Basket, Shigure makes me so infuriated because I met him when I was wrestling with this gray morality thing. I know several people who love him and his conniving little ways. The two reactions can—and, tbh, probably should—coexist in this world.

In Steven Universe, when Pearl and Amethyst fight, their division makes me hurt because I've been drawn to care about both characters. There were lots of people who took Pearl's side. There were lots of people who took Amethyst's. Both could be justifiable, and a lot of people got so invested. Pearl and Amethyst made the audience feel things, and that's kinda the point.

In Modao Zushi, Jiang Cheng is an incredibly divisive character (for good reason!), but he's a good character. Some people hate him and can back that up with the text and their own experiences. Some people love him and can back that up with the text and their own experiences. It's great! It kinda sucks to see an excess of an opposite opinion, but, like, they're allowed to have that. My experience doesn't make yours invalid, and your experience doesn't make mine invalid. They're just... different.

You're allowed to look at the same text, the same character, the same story, and feel different things from another person based on that text, character, and story. It's honestly part of the fun. And if you can't interact with people who hold that different opinion (for literally any reason ranging from "this is my chill spot and I'm not about to argue with somebody over something that doesn't matter" to "the opinion I hold is tied very closely to core aspects of my personality [trauma, strongly held beliefs, etc] and seeing its opposite physically and mentally unsettles me" to "stars. not today."), then that's fine. Block the tags. Ignore. Let it goooooo (had to).

They're characters. We love them, we hate them, they make us feel things, and we sometimes do some self-reflection using them as a guide (I find that this is where a lot of anger comes from? Maybe that's just me.). But we don't have to sit there and accuse someone else that they're xyz for hating/loving/not appreciating a character.

These are stories. These are characters. They may touch on our heartstrings and make our experiences and traumas feel validated, but they do the same thing in different ways for other people. And that's okay.

We can use that to learn about other people instead of immediately condemning them. If you don't want to engage with the other interpretations/experiences, then cool. If you wanna hate a character in peace, just make sure you've got the 'anti-' tag ready to go so people don't walk into your shop ready for something they ain't gonna get.

Just... yeah. Characters, experiences, and fandoms. We don't gotta be at each other's throats all the time.

252 notes - Posted May 14, 2022

#2

I know a lot of us go 'poor baby Mo Xuanyu' because of how shittily he was treated, but do we or do we all not just collectively gloss over the fact that he thought 'I am going to summon the most horrifying demon so he can slaughter my family and then I'm gonna let him loose on the entire world because I am so fucking done'?

Like, he was wrong, of course, but that was the goal, and I kinda wonder what other 'plots' he might have tried if the whole Yiling Patriarch thing hadn't worked out?

362 notes - Posted July 10, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I think a lot of us really want someone to have survived the burning of Lotus Pier, and I've seen some stories say that some survived because they were out of the pier for one reason or another, but something just hit me.

The Wens placed a restriction on night hunts before they attacked. All of the cultivators, including Jiang Cheng, the actual heir of YunmengJiang, were forced to stay in Lotus Pier. They were all bored out of their skulls when the invasion knocked upon their door because they were all forced to stay inside.

Everyone in Lotus Pier died except for Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian.

Because they were trapped there.

And the Wens knew because they orchestrated it.

For some reason, the massacre is one thing to me. It takes on a whole new layer when I realize that the Wen kept the cultivators there, waiting and ready to be slaughtered.

After everything, Jiang Cheng really was alone, wasn't he?

733 notes - Posted September 26, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #Lol ok #This is Interesting #I am still in MDZS hell #X'D #Love that I've tagged Jiang Cheng more times than Lan Wangji #Rip #Youtube