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liuhko · 3 months

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ㅤʕ ྀི UR MOM ㅤ ݁ ˖ Carla Jaeger drabble headcanon things (?) requested by mootie @cindol

THIS WORK INCLUDES: female reader, mommy kink, nsfw, dominant character x submissive reader

NOTE: Today (January 29th) is Carla’s birthday!! Giving this post my nice layout cause ily cin (pls stop dissing yoosung). PLS SHE’S SO NGH~! Not proofread *frowny face*

Dealing with Eren was a handful, this was nothing new, but being his teacher came with a lot of perks. Perks such as meeting his mother. Carla Jaeger is the perfect woman. Smart, polite, and so gorgeous. Your first meeting with her was a parent-teacher conference. It was after school, in your classroom, she was the last parent you needed to attend to. You’d never been one to get butterflies, but when you locked eyes with this woman those bugs started soaring! The conference was quick, mostly because you had very little to say about Eren. He was a good kid, just a bit odd, but that’s just how kids are. Carla had praised your teaching abilities repeatedly during the meeting; you struggled to control yourself that day. Meeting her was like rainfall in mid-summer Arizona. However, you had noticed the pretty ring she wore and that soured your mood. “Of course, she’s married.” You grumbled to yourself once she had left. It was a rather sad predicament, her marriage ruined just about every fantasy you had. Until…!

“My parents divorced.” You furrowed your brows at the young boy. Eren had a bad habit of sharing everyone’s business, his included. “Divorced?” You asked him, a comical lightbulb flickering on in your head. A divorced woman needed the most love, surely she needed someone to talk to, someone she could trust. That someone would be you.

Carla was sensitive after her divorce, so it was easy to get close to her.

She grew comfortable with you instantly and was the first one to suggest contact outside of school.

She ranted about her ex-husband often, which pissed you off, but you knew it would pass with time.

Carla shared custody with Eren, and you often followed her when she had to drop him at his dad’s. She knew you disliked him but she had begged you to be cordial — you refused.

Carla and Grisha divorced because he had lost feelings for her and rekindled his love with his previous wife. This led to Carla becoming a bit critical of her appearance, and it drove you mad.

You showered her with affection and affirmations. Praising her face and body, often referring to her as the perfect woman, she always laughed at that title.

Carla often gave Eren an extra lunch to give you at work. Her food was delicious and you resisted the strong urge to eat HER (out) when you’d personally return the lunchbox to her the following day.

SUGGESTIVE/NSFW WARNING!

Your close friendship with Carla benefitted you in various ways. Once, her towel had slipped after getting out the shower. You were in the room and your eyes widened at the sight of her naked body. She apologized profusely but you just grinned. “It’s alright, we’re both women. I don’t mind.” The intentions behind your words were anything but innocent but they led to Carla being a lot more open.

She dressed/undressed in front of you. Asked for your help with changing, and sometimes showered with you to “save time”. You never questioned it. It was incredible.

Carla Jaeger was a bold woman. You had caught her searching a box in her bedroom, and she was completely unbothered. She proudly showed you the contents of the box and watched as you grew embarrassed. She even went as far as to explain how each object was used. “Oh, (name), there’s no need to be so shy. I’m sure you know how lonely I can be at times.” You scoffed at her. “Why would you be lonely when you have me?” A grin spread across her face upon hearing your words. “Then why don’t you help me with these? We’re both women after all. It’s not a big deal.”

If there’s one thing Carla loves, it’s toying with you. She enjoys taunting you and gets a kick out of watching you beg.

She also loves sitting on your face. Partly because you’re good at eating pussy but mostly because she loves seeing your cum-stained face.

Carla’s very accepting of your preferences and doesn’t judge you in the slightest, even when you accidentally call her mommy. “Do you like that, sweetheart? Should I keep going?” She cooed. A soft giggle escaped her lips as you let out a loud gasp, your legs shaking, when she increased the intensity. “Mhm…feels s-so good mommy…!” You responded through labored breaths. It didn’t take long for you to realize your mistake and begin explaining yourself, but Carla quickly shushed you. “I don’t mind, sweetie. If you like calling me mommy, you can…it just means I’m making you feel good.” The puzzled look on your face made her smile. “Are you sure you don’t mind? Cause if it makes you uncomfortable then I understand—“ She rolled her eyes and increased the vibration setting, effectively shutting you up. “I’m perfectly fine with it, you don’t need to worry.”

Carla records. She’s so attached to you and gets so lonely when you aren’t around. She’ll usually watch a few videos and play with herself when she misses you.

She sends you videos and pictures of herself all the time.

Carla gets DOWN with the strap. She never fails to make you cum. Never!!! She’s also interested in the craziest positions whenever she uses a strap. “(name), we should try this! All you have to do is get into a bridge pose, the yoga one!” She will persuade you into having sex in these abnormal positions.

Carla likes to get straps that are bigger than what you usually use just to see you with a stomach bulge. Watching you struggle to take a larger strap gets her much more excited than she should be.

Carla has a slew of pet names for you and they’re adorable. They’re nothing unique but still so cute, she loves using them to guide you through your orgasms.

She doesn’t love scissoring because she isn’t as close to you as she’d like to be (Carla’s very clingy) but she does enjoy the feeling of your wet pussy rubbing against hers, so she can’t complain too much!

Being a mom is stressful, and sometimes Carla just needs a day to de-stress. If you allow her to de-stress by using you, you’ll likely wake up sore and covered in bite and/or scratch marks. She apologizes when she’s done <3

Her aftercare is unmatched. Carla will cook you whatever you want if you’re hungry, pepper you with kisses and take her time cleaning you up.

She fantasizes about sexually torturing you.

Carla loves your tits, size is irrelevant. She plays with your nipples all the time.

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chrollohearttags · 1 year

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we need more eren and carla headcannons cuz ik they’re besties one minute and carla is throwing a frying pan at him the next. they’re a mess.

yo, I could go on for days about these two 😭 that’s really her twinnem and honestly, the reason he acts the way he does.

first off, I think that sis used to be wild before she had Eren. Like she was a bottle girl or something and when she got married and became a mom, she settled down. But her old ways rubbed off on her bad ass son.

she spoils the hell out of him! Buying matching designer fits as a baby, getting him every toy he ever wanted (including all the instruments). She’s his biggest supporter!

I lowkey think she smokes with Eren (don’t drag me!!) like will try to discipline him in front of Grisha but then they laugh about it later when he’s gone. “You’re going to drive your dad crazy, I swear.” “That’s if you don’t do it first.”

she was actually the first person to get him into rap. Playing Lil Kim and old school artists in the carpool! Or heavy metal/rock music. She’s the fun parent for sure!!

When he got older, sis had to keep her belt and extensions ready. Waiting up in her robe, with her heavy Italian accent as he sneaks back in the house after running the streets! 😭

“I swear I’m going to wring your damn neck, the next time I catch you sneaking in and out of this house!”

stays yelling at him about his room and homework. “If you spent half as much time as you do on that goddamned computer as you did your grades, you might get somewhere.”

he is definitely the type of son to try and chastise her when she goes out. “She thinks she’s grown.” Or if Grisha takes her on a date night, here he comes. “Have my mom back by 10:00, not 10:01, not 10:02..”

even if he’s a bad ass, snot nosed brat..he knows better than to play with miss Carla! Raised his voice one time and got slid between the stove and sink. Never again will he try it!

sis can’t keep enough food cooked for his big greedy ass! He tries to steal whiles she’s in the middle of making dinner and she tries to pop him with her wooden spoon. “Swear to Christ, you’re going eat me out of house and home!”

definitely likes to play pranks on her until she beats his ass and he has take off and run. She missed her baby when he left though..but again, she wanted to see him achieving his dream! Even if she was angry for him for a little bit.

she stays on his insta and his fans always catch her at his concerts! Always tagging her as ‘Mama Don’ or ‘Miss Carla’. She knows his music is wild and she doesn’t understand it but she supports him ten toes down.

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djhanyuu · 5 months

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i have yeager brainrot *⁠.⁠✧

can't stop thinking about the brothers having a normal family with a (not really) wholesome life in a modern au! thingie so headcanons !

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

★ I don't think Dina should be 💀 (too sad can't have that) Grisha divorced her cause it didn't work and later met Carla and they fell in love <3

★ I just want Carla to adopt Zeke and be the mom he deserves!!!

★ Grisha and Carla would often be bussy working so Tom Ksaver a really nice neighbor would offer to babysit Zeke, playing baseball with him and all that.

★Then Carla gets pregnant with Eren! just imagine the excitement in Zeke finding out he would have a brother, he would say something like "i'll teach him how to play baseball and I'll take care of him!!" baby 😭

★ I don't think Grisha would be the best of a father though (here comes the angst) ofc it wouldn't be THAT bad as it is in the canon but daddy issues give the yeager's character so I can't that away from them (at least i gave them a mom)

★ Since Eren was now born Grisha was the only one Working and having to bring more money to home so he was away a lot for the most part of his kids childhood and things started to get rocky as soon as Zeke was a teen

★ And maaaaybe it was because Grisha paid more attention to Eren in some ways since he was little.

★ I just imagine Grisha as one of those parents that are there but not emotionally involved with their kid, pays for stuff, although forgets about birthdays and special events (self indulgence moment) It's not that he doesn't love his kids but it feels like it sometimes.

★ Zeke's relationship with Carla wouldn't be bad but he would think that she loves more Eren since he's her biological son, although Carla would make everything what's on her hand to not make Zeke feel like that, she doesn't feel that way towards him either.

★ The brothers grew up close but as Zeke started to get older he distanced a little from his family, and poor baby (now a kid) Eren would knock on Zeke's door just wanting to play with his big bro while he's just in bed being an annoyed teenager tossing a ball towards the ceiling and then catching it with one hand.

★ He grew up playing baseball in a local team then dropped it as a teen.

★ He probably started smoking around this age too (16 or so) to fit more into the rebellious teenager persona.

★ However he wouldn't give that much of hard time, he would do great in school and would try to avoid conflict, inside of him he would just want to make his dad proud just to hear a "good job" from him, even a hug.

★ On the other side i think the real trouble would be Eren.

★ Coming back to Grisha not being the best dad, things would repeat and as Eren grew up he would get less involved with his kid.

★ But Eren wouldn't be like his brother at all, he would fight back, get into arguments with his family regularly, skip classes, fail them even, the overall rebellious teen thingy, i don't think it would be soooo bad, just his parents trying to explain that he is doing things wrong but him not listening and making a scene and complaining about them not letting him be free!!!.

★ Grisha and Carla would give up at some point letting Eren do his thing, that would usually be playing games ,spend time with with friends and smoke 🍃

★ Once in a while he would feel bad about his behavior mostly because of his mom, he knows his father being an asshole sometimes is not her fault, and he would go silently to apologize to her and be a mama's boy.

★ Carla would hug him and tell him that it's fine and that they love him nonetheless.

★ With his conscience clear he would roll one up because he is convinced that he deserves it (this man??)

★ Armin and Mikasa being his childhood friends would try to keep him with his feet on the earth when they feel he's getting too lost.

★ Armin and Zeke would get along really great and the younger would see him as a fraternal figure too.

★ I imagine the relationship between Eren and Zeke like a totally realistic and healthy brother brother relationship, they can't stand each other but are best mates and love each other (i don't really know i don't have siblings)

★ Eren coming home from School just to tell Zeke to play some videogame have an amazing time then not talk for a week.

★ I also think they would smoke 🍃 together sometimes. Eren would be smoking in his room with towel at the bottom of the door, then he almost throws the joint out the window as he hears a knock on the door (he is not allowed to smoke inside ofc) but just as he hears Zeke's "it's just me" he relaxes and let's him in.

★ Zeke would ask for some puffs or something and they would end up on Eren's bed looking at the ceiling and getting sensitive and philosophical talking about ife, the only time they would actually show affection towards each other.

★ If Zeke asks for some puffs once in a while, Eren asks him for cigarettes constantly, and just to mix the 🍃 with.

★ Zeke is definitely more caring towards Eren overall (big bro thingies i guess)

★ They will totally team up against their dad A LOT and have each other's back. Grisha would be scolding Eren for something and Zeke would nonchalantly get into the argument to defend Eren just to piss his dad, and Eren would just be like "look! It's not my fault even Zeke says so!!!" and then Carla would scold all of them and it would actually work.

★ As they became adults they both started to look much more like grisha, especially Eren.

★ At first sight they don't really look like each other, but it's just because Zeke's beard, if he shaved it would actually be much more obvious that they are related.

★ Eren likes to annoy Zeke saying that maybe he would be the pretty sibling if he shaves.

★ Zeke would start working as a bartender or something like that to try and help bringing money at home but probably would try to achieve something bigger like resuming baseball to be a coach or something like that.

★ And i picture Eren taking whatever job his brother previously left or ending up as a dealer (it's funny to me okay?)

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Sorry if this is kinda a mess! I'm not used to writing and putting my thoughts together like this and i feel like i can go on and on and on and forever about this so that's all <3

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #aot #snk #eren jaeger #eren yeager #zeke yeager #zeke jaeger #attack on titan headcanons #aot headcanons #snk headcanons #eren headcanons #zeke headcanons

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lenacker · 6 months

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How bad could your parenting be, to make your child think that not being born is a mercy?

Grisha thought about Zeke a lot. When a boy around Zeke’s age passed by, he couldn’t help but stare, wondering how tall Zeke had gotten. Has he passed his father’s height? The last time he saw him, Zeke hadn't had his growth spurt yet.

When he watched Eren eat his favorite food, he tried to remember what Zeke’s favorite food was, but nothing came up. Eren would grin brightly, remnants of Carla’s stew in his cheeks, loudly asking for seconds. Had Zeke ever done that? He usually ate his food in perfect silence. And quickly, so he can get back to his studies as soon as possible.

No matter how tired he gets at the end of the day, Grisha always tries to spend time with Eren, asking about his day. Eren would proudly show his bruised knuckles, saying he protected Armin from some bullies. “Good job,” Grisha would say. Carla always scolded him for encouraging Eren’s behavior, but Grisha thought about his other son, whom he never praised for all his hard work.

"He’s trying his best," Dina always pleaded.

Zeke's best was never enough. Eren couldn't sit still for too long, he likes running around. He likes playing hide-and-seek too. Grisha had no idea what kind of games Zeke liked. He can't run very fast, he often gets left behind during training. In retrospect, it's not that big of a deal. Grisha didn't know why it used to make him so mad.

Every year on Zeke's birthday (he was born at the first sunrise of August), Grisha would lock himself in the basement. He can't talk to anyone, and there's no boy to congratulate. So he just sat there, looking at that old family photograph.

Grieving for the son he had but never really got to know.

Grisha tried to give Eren all the things he didn't give Zeke. Eren's birthdays are always celebrated with cakes and candles. Grisha tucked him in at night, praised him for little things, and spent time with him.

But Eren is not Zeke, and there's no way to turn back time to tell Zeke all the things he didn't say. (Does Zeke even know that his dad loves him?)

If Zeke could see him now, would he be relieved that Grisha treated his brother better? (Zeke would love Eren; there's no doubt about that.) Or would he despise Grisha, knowing he's capable of being a half-decent father but never tried for him?

#grisha jaeger #grisha yeager #why is there a lot of different ways to spell their names #zeke jeager #zeke yeager #attack on titan #I've been thinking about Zeke a lot #he just wanna be loved #for someone who's more often used instead of loved he's pretty decent at loving eren #is this a hc or a fic? who knows

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riality-check · 1 year

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By the time Eddie’s ninth birthday rolls around, his parents have been dead for two months.

He gets a little sad when he remembers that fact. He remembers them, he’s old enough to, but he doesn’t really remember what they were like. He remembers that he has hair and eyes like his mother and a face like his father, but he doesn't know their favorite foods or the lullabies they liked to sing to him when they were home.

They were gone most of the time, deployed by the First Army again and again, until one day, they didn’t come back. Since then, Eddie has been with Uncle Wayne - he's Grisha, so he and his dad didn't talk much before - at the Little Palace.

It’s nice, even if it was weird at first. Eddie went from living off rations to having quality meals for every meal. He went from owning two shirts to owning ten. He went from running around outside to, well, running around outside, only this time, it’s on manicured lawns and safely maintained woods instead of on dusty dirt roads and barren wheat fields.

Outside is all he really has, aside from the little house he and Uncle Wayne have on the grounds. Eddie isn’t Grisha, so he isn’t allowed inside the Little Palace.

He’s okay with that. There’s a whole bunch of stuff to do outside, between the forest and the fields and the lake, while he waits every day for Uncle Wayne to come back from teaching classes about fire.

Sometimes, there are other people outside, too, but Eddie doesn’t talk to them. He doesn’t think he is allowed to, even though Uncle Wayne never gave him that rule. The other kids his age seem pretentious, anyway, with their bright, expensive clothing and chins held high.

Eddie might be living a lot better now, but he still doesn’t like rich kids very much.

His train of thought is interrupted when he falls out of the tree he’s perched in.

Luckily, he doesn’t fall very far. He was eight feet up, at the highest, and now he’s on the ground, having landed and rolled the way his dad taught him to the last time he was home.

That thought makes Eddie sad again, so he makes his brain swerve away from it.

Eddie stands up and brushes the grass off his pants, but instead of being alone, like he was, before there’s another boy standing in front of him.

He’s pretty. That’s the only word Eddie has for him. This boy is pretty, from his wavy brown hair to his smooth skin to his perfect, straight smile.

The adult teeth Eddie has growing in are already noticeably crooked, and he only has three of them.

“Hi?” he says, and it sounds like a question because he doesn’t know who this boy is. That and because he’s wearing white, and the only Grisha Eddie has ever seen wear either red, blue, or purple.

Either this boy is special, or he’s not Grisha. Eddie kind of hopes it’s the second one. It would be nice to not be the only one, even if this boy is wearing clothes that are worth more than Eddie.

The boy doesn’t say hi back. He instead points at Eddie’s forehead, where a cut and a bruise from yesterday’s failed attempt to swing from one tree to another are still healing.

“I can fix that,” he says.

Eddie doesn’t care one way or the other what his face looks like, but this boy looks like he does. He looks completely uncomfortable with being outside, and it doesn’t look like he belongs here, either. Not with his pristine white robe and his perfect, pretty face.

The longer he looks at Eddie, the worse his face scrunches up.

“Okay,” Eddie says. And then, because he’s polite, “I’m Eddie.”

“Steve,” the kid says. “It’s very nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you, too. Are you going to fix my face?”

Steve huffs out a surprised little laugh and takes a step closer. “I can if you hold still.”

“I’m bad at that,” Eddie admits.

Steve giggles. “You’re funny.”

“You haven’t fixed it yet.”

Steve rolls his eyes, but he brushes his hand over Eddie’s forehead, and Eddie feels a sort of warmth, like the itch of a scab, before it’s gone just as soon as it came up.

“There you go,” Steve says. “It’s fixed.”

Eddie reaches up toward his forehead. The skin is smooth, but when he presses down, it aches.

Something must show up on his face because Steve says, “It’ll still hurt.”

“I thought you said you fixed it.”

“I did. It’s gone. But it’ll still hurt, at least until it heals on the inside.”

“How do you know that?” Eddie says.

Steve shrugs. It’s the first careless gesture Eddie has seen him make.

“I just do,” he says.

Eddie frowns at that, but before he can say anything, Steve turns around and starts walking away.

“Will I see you tomorrow?” Eddie calls.

Steve stops and looks over his shoulder. “Maybe.”

In Eddie’s world, maybe means make it happen. He’s determined to.

He watches Steve walk back toward the Grand Palace, not the Little Palace, and wonders who on earth he is until he hears Uncle Wayne calling him in for supper.

there's more here.

#ria writes #i haven't even watched s2 of shadow and bone yet #so no spoilers #i've just read all the books #enjoy some grishaverse thoughts #there'll be more to come #steddie #steddie ficlet #stranger things #stranger things ficlet #st #st ficlet #steve harrington #eddie munson #grishaverse au

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sinigangsta-ao3 · 5 months

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"blinding lights" // toxic Hollywood nepo baby au:

I posted the completed ficlet on AO3 earlier today; I don't plan to expand on it or make any other stories in this universe... but figured I'd share some of the headcanons that went into writing those ~1200 words lol:

The Jaegers and Ackermans are legendary names in Hollywood: the Jaegers are generations of well-known, good-looking actors; the Ackermans are known for their behind-the-scenes work, esp. as directors and producers.

Grisha Jaeger is notorious bc of his well-documented affair with his younger co-star Carla while he was married to his wife Dina. They vehemently denied any romance as they filmed, but Grisha and Dina eventually divorced and Grisha and Carla got married and had Eren. They're no longer married.

Despite their parents' fractured relationships, Eren and Zeke are actually very close. They are paparazzi mainstays.

Eren’s first role was playing Carla’s infant; his second role was playing younger version of his dad in one of Grisha’s movies.

Mikasa’s dad is a producer; her mom is a model whose career was very big in Japan. She began to book more work stateside after she married Mikasa’s dad and made appearances on his arm at award shows.

Mikasa spent a lot of time on her parents’ respective sets. A photographer asked her to pose with her mom for an editorial campaign when she was 13 years old.

Mikasa books a lot of work because her racial ambiguity makes her look “exotic yet approachable.”

Mikasa has a scar on her right cheek from a biking accident (her mom was very angry). Her parents wanted her to get the scar fixed and booked time with an in-demand dermatologist, but Mikasa decided to make it part of her “brand.” She highlights it in modeling campaigns.

Mikasa wanted to get into acting after seeing one of Carla Jaeger’s movies as a child.

Eren has had a reputation of being the “bad boy” Jaeger. He has attended a lot of industry parties since he was a young teen. He’s been checked into rehab a lot but his parents are vocally ambivalent about Eren’s history of substance abuse and rage issues.

Eren and Mikasa obviously knew of each other bc they’re both in the industry, but they only formally met when they were cast opposite each other in an Oscar-bait-y indie drama at around 17 years old. The casting directors wanted them because their names would have pull. It was Mikasa’s first role in front of the camera. Eren wanted to book something that would show that he was a “serious actor” and more than his family name. The movie was very controversial because of the *illicit* material; there were rumors that some of the filmed scenes were not simulated 👀👀

They denied any type of irl romance while on their press tour, even though they were very flirty and comfortable with one another during interviews. Their romance was only “confirmed” when paparazzi caught them returning to Eren’s car after skinny-dipping at a beach in Malibu.

Eren and Mikasa have a very on-and-off relationship for years. They have really rabid shippers, and Eren stans and Mikasa stans that have VERY strong reactions about when they are and aren’t together. There have been many think pieces written on whether or not their relationship is a “positive model for the global youth.”

#eremika headcanons #toxic hollywood nepo baby eremika #blinding lights

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cxcassii · 24 days

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modern eremika mermaid au ⋆｡𖦹 °.🐚⋆❀˖°

small preview :

Eren, even at 7 years old, never much cared for the beach.

The ocean was salty, so it wasn’t even that fun to swim in. The sand got everywhere, irritating his mood easily as it rubbed his skin raw. His insides despised feeling the rough sand. Jellyfish washed up all over the beaches so you had to watch your step if you didn’t want to get stung. Dead or not, they still can sting. Eren unfortunately learned the hard way, like many other annoying attributes, vacationing to the coast.

Eren wished his grandparents didn’t live in a beach house. Eren wished his mother didn’t love said beach house so much.

Carla looked forward to the annual summer trip more than anyone else. Grisha had similar gripes as Eren about the beach. However, his father was just far more kosher about it. But that’s to be expected, Eren is only 7 years old, after all. Maturity would come in due time.

Still, that didn’t deter Eren’s need to mope and groan as much as he deemed necessary. “Come on, honey.” His mother had dragged him out to the beachside early that afternoon.

His dad stayed behind to help grandma cook some dinner. They were day one into their stay with Carla’s parents. Grandpa worked as a custodian and would be off in time for supper.

Carla forced Eren out of his whining debacle and lugged him toward the sand. “Please, just give it one more try, Eren. I know the ocean will grow on you, I just know it.”

He groaned and his face shifted into repulse at the feeling of sand in his sandals, nearly encouraging him to recoil back towards the beach house. “Mom, I hate this.” He complained, flinging his arms melodramatically.

Carla peeks over her shoulder with a stern look. She chastised him with a shake of her index finger. “Hate is a strong word, Eren.”

The boy rolls his eyes, the corner of his lips twisted down. “Yeah, well. I mean it.”

His mom ignored him. She found herself a spot in the sand. She ordered him to go explore while she sun bathed. He tried to argue with her but Carla was immune to his emotionally kid-like manipulative tactics when she was in such a mood. She simply waved a shoo-ing hand in his direction. Eren huffed and crossed his arms as he twisted around to stomp away. The sand was already driving him mad.

Eren kicks at the tiny minerals as he tracks around a corner of rocks. His pace stayed steady. He keeps walking, not paying much attention to how far he migrates into a groove of some trees and large rocks on the sand shore.

There’s another large bend and suddenly he found himself at a cavern looking boulder with an indented opening.

Fascinated, he approached the inside of the cavern, not caring that he was now submerged in the crystal blue water of the sea. There was a divet in the small space where the sun can cast its fluorescent rays upon the glasslike waters. To get under that spot, he would have to swim.

Taking a big breath, Eren could barely handle how bad the salt stung his eyes. He pushed through it, though. When he resurfaced, it was with a large gulp of air. It was another few strokes away Eren so kept trudging through the burn of the salt water. His head barely makes it to the destination he’d been gunning for when his skull crashed into something hard, something that oddly enough, reminded him of another human skull.

Rushedly to the surface, he winced at the ache from where he knocked his head. When Eren looked up, he couldn’t be sure what exactly he expected but it sure wasn't another human that greeted him.

Gobsmacked and startled, the boy scrambled to slosh away from the creature, who looked to be female. She held her head in her hands, her face pinched in pain. She groaned, “Ow! That hurt!”

Eren couldn’t care to focus on her complaints, couldn’t be bothered to be impressed she spoke so fluently. He was too busy observing what she was. Her skin was shiny, looking iridescent in the direct sunlight. She had long raven hair with bangs that hung in her face. But that wasn’t what ultimately grabbed his attention. It was the swishing shimmering blue tail the girl had. It kept peeking and rippling at the surface of the water as she withered from bumping heads into Eren. He blurted the first thought that managed to pass his lips.

“What are you, a mermaid?” The sentence sounded accusatory instead of factual.

The girl stopped, peering at him over her shoulder looking mildly unimpressed. “Well, duh.” She nonchalantly replied, looking at him as if he was stupid.

𖦹*ੈ‧ 𓇼 ₊˚𓆝

#eremika #wip wednesday #mermaid au #cassi’s mermaid au #エレミカ #mikasa ackerman #eren jeagar #my writing

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breadqueen95 · 2 years

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hi i love your eren insomniac au so much 😭💛 may i request for a modern au eren x reader (fem/gn) - where eren stands up for the reader from being disrespected by toxic parents? more of like a comfort hc? don’t worry if you are unable to, thank you so much for reading this & putting in so much effort to ur writing <3 have a great day lovely !!

oh my gosh thank you!!!! it's one of my favorite hcs i've written so I'm so happy you like it too! and thank you the most for being here and saying such kind things, it means a lot to me

but FUCK YEAH i can do that for you!!! i'm sorry if this is a situation you have to deal with :( i have my own set of toxic parents so i know how hard it can be. i hope this helps, even just a little <3

kind of turned into a whole ass fic???? i'm so sorry about that lol i hope it's okay!

CW: anxiety, depression, slight ptsd, heavy themes of toxic parental relationships, body issues

modern!Eren Jaeger x fem!Reader

Before

Eren knows about your family. He's known, or at least suspected, from those very first few weeks of getting to know you. He has his own issues with his dad - even though everyone's situation is different, he's come to learn how to recognize those long lasting scars in other people. It hurts him beyond belief that he can see those scars in you, his favorite person.

It was even harder seeing how deep those scars go once you two began your relationship. It took awhile for Eren to help you understand that his love for you wasn't transactional. It wasn't conditional. It didn't depend on the size of clothes you wore, or how many achievements you could tack onto your resume. That you didn't have to walk on eggshells every waking moment just to make sure you didn't misstep. He just loves you. You're still learning that, and trying to show him the very same kind of deep and unyielding love for him.

Even so, Eren has his mom. Carla has been able to show him nothing but pure and unconditional love from before he can remember - a stark contrast from Grisha. He was able to start healing and separating himself from that toxicity from a young age, and hasn't really spoken to him since. Your situation is different - both parents, both different yet similar brands of harshness, both still in contact.

It's complicated. He knows it is. You've even said it yourself.

Doesn't stop him from being so, so gentle with you. From waking up every morning ready to protect you and remind you how much he loves you. It started like that from the very first minute he lay eyes on you, when he knew instantly how much he was going to love you, to now, and every moment to come.

So when your parents kept insisting they had to meet him, Eren tried to convince you that it wasn't that important. That they could try and do this over FaceTime first, test the waters a little bit.

You honestly didn't want to share him with them at all. He's such a sacred part of your life, something so good and pure and wonderful. You're scared that if he sees where you come from, just how bad it can get with them, he'll leave.

You're always terrified that you'll scare him off.

You tell him so one night, as you're wringing your hands together, panicking after yet another passive aggressive text about meeting Eren. It stresses you out more and more every time.

Eren doesn't say anything at first. Just wraps you up in his arms. Pulls you against his warmth. Cradles you against his broad chest, stroking every part of you he can reach with a featherlight touch.

"Baby," he croons, "there's nothing you could show me that could scare me off."

Your stomach swoons every time he calls you that. Can't be helped. He giggles a little at the stutter in your breathing with the pet name, but doesn't poke fun at you just now.

"You're already so goddamn patient with me," you whisper shakily, his name for you unable to sway you from anxiety, "I just don't--"

"I love you," he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your forehead, "I will always love you. I just want you to feel safe and happy, and I'll do everything I can to make you feel that way. Got that?"

Despite the tears filling your eyes, you smile bashfully and hide your face in his neck, leaving thankful and affectionate kisses all over his warm skin.

Okay, so maybe you could do this. You have Eren.

During

After much hounding from your parents, you and Eren find yourselves standing outside the door of your parent's house. You've got a plate of brownies in one hand and Eren in the other. He runs his thumb over your knuckles rhythmically in a way that grounds you. In his other hand, he holds a bouquet of flowers for your mom, ever the gentleman. Carla raised him right.

Everyone's all smiles at first. Eren's impressed; he knows how scared you are, how nervous, but you're putting up a good front. But the more he thinks about it, the more your skill at hiding how you're feeling makes him sad. You've clearly had a lot of practice.

Your parents are showing the good parts of them. You've explained to Eren how there are good memories with them; they can be so loving, so kind. And right now, they're welcoming you home and Eren into their lives with open and loving arms. They're asking Eren all kinds of questions about his life and his interests. Asking about your relationship, how you met, things like that.

It starts to fall apart during dinner.

Eren can see that you've gotten a little more comfortable. Your shoulders aren't as tense, breaths coming a little easier. It's easy for him to understand why you're at war with yourself constantly over how you feel about them.

Then somehow everyone ends up on the subject of something you're passionate about. Eren, for one, is thrilled. Watching you talk about the things you love is one of his favorite activities. Your eyes light up in the most breathtaking way, and your smile is downright infectious. He could listen to you for hours.

"Oh boy, here we go," your mom sighs from one end of the table.

Just like that the spell is broken. Eren has a front row seat as he watches your face fall, your voice cutting off into heavy silence. Your brows knit together as you look down at your plate.

"You're obsessing again," your dad adds with a patronizing laugh.

Eren looks up and in between your parents. They laugh, looking at him as though trying to include him in whatever sick joke they think they're making.

He looks back at you. You're masking it for now, but your hands are clenched in the tightest fists he's ever seen under the table. He reaches under the table and takes the hand closest to him, and ever so gently, tries to coax your fingers open. Trying to get you to let him in.

"Sorry," you say with a self-deprecating laugh, "I know I can get carried away."

Eren's heart shatters. He doesn't know how many times you said this, mostly in the beginning of your relationship and in group settings. You're always so convinced that no one wants to hear you talk, so you end up apologizing for it.

Now he sees it. Where it comes from.

Schooling his face into a friendly expression despite his rage, he squeezes your hand, saying, "No, keep going, I love hearing you talk."

"Nah, it's okay," you shrug nonchalantly, before changing the subject.

The way you're squeezing his hand begs him to drop it. So he does.

But then it keeps going.

You reach for a second helping of something, and your mom says, "How are you still hungry?"

You don't end up getting that second helping.

You make a joke about something, wrinkling your nose in that cute little way he loves so much.

"Yeah, don't tell your coworkers that one," your dad adds in.

Eren has to watch your beautiful face fall.

You're talking about how many long hours you've worked recently, how tired you are.

Cutting you off, your mom jumps in about how hard she works. Very much indicating there's no way you can be more tired than her.

Eren sees you breaking under the weight of it all. His sweet, fiery, passionate girl, reduced to whatever palatable version of you your parents find acceptable. They've tried to make poking fun at you a bonding activity ever since he stepped into their home, and despite his stone faced reactions, they just keep going.

He has to get you out of here. His protective instincts are raging at him to just get you out.

But your mom insists on pictures. So you pose together. Full group picture first. Then one of you and Eren. Eren tries to pour every ounce of love he has into the way he holds you, but he can feel you shaking. He wants to scream, but he pastes a smile on his face instead.

Then it happens.

"TTI, sweetie."

What the fuck? What does that mean?

Then, like a soldier responding to a command, he feels you suck in your soft tummy to the point where he wonders if it's painful.

"Sorry, what does that mean?"

Eren tries to ask in what he hopes is a joking manner, but you can hear the barely suppressed anger just underneath.

"Tuck Tummy In," your mom explains with a lighthearted smile, "now smile--"

"Why would you say that to her?"

He doesn't even try to hide his outrage this time. Eren, a normally very expressive person, has spent the entire night burying his need to put the people hurting you in their place. Now he's had it.

"Eren, it's fine--"

"No, it's not," he seethes, curling his fingers around your waist in a vice grip.

Your parents are silent. No one's ever called them out like this before. You've tried to have discussions with them in the past about things like this, approaching it in a very calm, polite manner, but it always ended badly.

"There's nothing she has to fix about herself to look drop dead gorgeous for a picture. Nothing."

"It's just something we say--"

"Not anymore it's not. Not when I'm here."

You're ready for the yelling to start. You flinch, curling yourself closer into Eren's side. A kneejerk reaction cultivated by years of emotionally volatile parenting. Eren tightens his arm around you. He might be ready to go to war on your behalf, but he's gonna make sure you feel safe at the same time.

Your dad steps forward, a self righteous glare on his face as he looks at Eren.

"You don't speak to my wife that way--"

"Oh, you mean the way you've spoken to your daughter the entire night?"

Heavy silence fills the room. Eren worries that he's gone too far, but then he feels you press even closer to him. If you were upset, you'd be putting distance between you two.

Your parents look at you, expecting you to come to their defense, but you don't. You won't.

"He's r-right," you whisper shakily, "I've told you before how the kinds of things you've said tonight make me feel."

Then, like clockwork, your mom gets misty eyed. Your dad gets stern, condescending, and loud.

"I just wanted a nice night."

"Look at how you made your mother feel."

"I guess we're just the worst parents."

"We'll talk about everything soon," you murmur politely, reaching down to lace your fingers together, "but Eren and I are going home now. Thank you for dinner."

As you go to lead Eren out of there, he tugs you to a stop. You turn and look at him quizzically, wondering what else he could possibly say to them (not that you're complaining). He gives you the sweetest of smiles, the one he reserves just for you. It's the one that says, Don't worry baby. I've got you.

"Since we've already gone there, might as well add some things for the record," he says as he turns around to face them, his hand still holding yours.

"Number 1, it's a goddamn privilege to listen to her talk about anything she wants. For as long as she wants. Anyone who's in the room when she decides to share her passion should count themselves lucky."

Tears gather in your eyes. The happiest of tears.

"Number 2, there are days when I barely see her eat a thing. Those are the days she tries to make herself as small as possible, shrink in on herself. Today was a good day. You took that from her and you should be fucking ashamed."

You start to smile, so in love with this man. Even as your dad starts to raise his voice at Eren's cursing.

"Number 3," Eren says assertively, silencing him, "her belly, the one you shame her for, is one of my favorite parts about her."

Your parents are silent. They stare at Eren in shock, not daring to believe someone could call them out on behaviors they've refused to acknowledge for so long.

Eren turns back to you, green eyes shining with love, and says, "Ready to go?"

You nod. He wraps an arm around you to tug you into him, and leads you out of the warzone.

After

When you and Eren first get in the car, doors slamming shut behind you, he's instantly apologetic.

"I'm so sorry, I let my emotions get the best of me. I never should've gone that far--"

You cut his words off by kissing him, trying to pour every bit of gratitude and love into the way your lips move against his.

The kiss ends, but you stay close to him, resting your forehead against his.

"I'm gonna have a hard time tonight," you warn, your entire body trembling with the emotional aftershock of your confrontation. Once the adrenaline wears off it'll be even worse.

"I know," he whispers, kissing your nose lightly, "it's okay. I'd be more worried if it wasn't."

He goes to pull away so he can start the drive home, his protectiveness ever pushing him to get you to a safe place, but you stop him. You place both hands on his face to bring him back to you, kissing him softly again. You open your eyes, meeting the vivid green of his, and you fall even more in love with him.

"Thank you. For keeping me safe."

"I'd do anything for you."

He says it so simply. So factually. He leans forward to kiss you once more, then finally tears makes himself pull away so he can start the car.

As Eren starts the drive down the sleepy residential street, he keeps one hand on your knee, making smoothing circles on your skin. You grab his hand and bring it to your mouth, kissing his loving fingers, before setting it down again.

"I love you so much," you say.

"Love you more," he answers.

*******

And that night is bad.

The hurt sets in and pulls you under. Your self-esteem, already so fragile, seems to break apart from under you. You feel meaningless and empty.

That's what happens when the people who're supposed to love you the most reduce you to a shell of a person. When they work tirelessly to smother every part of what makes you you. When they dampen that fire that keeps you going, gives you purpose.

It's what they've been doing all your life.

But now you have Eren.

The darkness doesn't feel as all encompassing as it has before. He doesn't let you isolate yourself, knowing it's your self-destructive instinct to do so. Eren keeps you close to him, the best comfort there could possibly be.

He gets you out of the clothes you trapped yourself in to impress them, getting you into a hot shower with him so he can wash your hair for you. He holds you close under the hot stream of water, kissing every inch of your skin he can reach.

Afterwards, Eren dresses you in the most comfortable clothes he can think of. The ones he's seen you happiest in. It just so happens to be one of his t-shirts and a clean, comfortable pair of underwear.

Eren doesn't think he's ever seen you more beautiful.

He curls up with you on the couch, turning on your favorite comfort show to try and distract you. He holds you as close as he can, enveloping you in gentle touches and soft words.

You don't have the words to process everything that happens tonight. Eren doesn't expect you to. He just holds you, showing you how much he loves you. How much he values you. How he can't live without you.

As you climb into bed with him that night, Eren sees you poking at your belly, mouth twisting in distaste.

He reads you better than anyone in the world. Even in the darkness of your bedroom, he can feel how unhappy you are. He can practically hear the hurtful words you hurl at yourself in your head.

So he rolls on top of you, settling himself so you're nose to nose. You look up at him with big eyes, and Eren can't help but smile. He leans down and kisses you.

"You're so gorgeous, y'know that?"

You roll your eyes, and you open your mouth, ready to brush off his statement. But he keeps going.

"I'm so serious," he says with a laugh, "I can't even pick which part of you I love the most."

He bends down to kiss you again, his unbound brown strands acting as a curtain for both of you.

"There's this part," he murmurs as he kisses you again.

"Then there's this part," he whispers, bending down farther to kiss your neck. You sigh, reaching up to weave your fingers through his soft hair.

He presses an open mouthed kiss to your collar bone, whispering against your skin. You can't even process what he's saying anymore. The way he kisses you is enough to make every thought leave your brain.

Then somehow he's slithered down to where his face is level with your stomach. You pull it in self-consciously, trying to tug him back up to eye level, but he stubbornly stays right where he is.

"Now right here," he murmurs huskily as he lifts your shirt, "is my absolutely favorite part of you, pretty girl."

Eren's not lying. He's shown how much he loves your tummy before. He wraps his long fingers around your waist on either side, dipping his head to kiss the soft skin he loves so much.

You simply lay back and let him love you, tired of fighting it tonight. You revel in the way he adores you so honestly, so openly, so unconditionally.

Both of you know it'll never be easy, not with your histories. But Eren showed tonight that he's willing to march into battle for you to keep you safe, to prove to you how important you are.

You love him. He loves you. Even when your family makes you doubt your worth, that'll never change.

***

Writing this was like therapy. Hope it was okay <3

Request here

#eren x reader #eren jaeger x reader #eren headcanons #eren yeager x reader #eren fluff #comfort fic #aot headcanons #modern au eren #jenna writes #he's my rotten soldier #my sweet cheese #my good time boy #no but seriously in a modern au he would be so sweet

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lemmetreatya · 1 year

Note

HELLO if you are free at the time can you write and eren x reader insta post prt 2? With both of his moms again that was really good if that isn’t to much may I ask if it’s like him spending money on her too ? LOVE YOURE WORKS BTW

Eren’s Insta Spam (Pt.3)

eren x black!fem reader

part 1

part 2

AHH! Yes thank you so much for the request! A part 3 was definitely overdue so thank you for reminding me lool! Hope you enjoy beloved 🫶🏾 Also: BIG UP! TUN UP! to @erenxh for helping me out with a few of the translations for Carla,, you truly an OG 🫰🏾💙 + @quiveringdeer as the honorary tag for these aus

Okay so as we know, Eren has a lot of ‘fans’ who are genuinely really nice to him — but only him — and so whenever he takes you out, he tries to be low-key.

Buuuut it doesn’t mean YOU have to be lowkey and so whenever youre out and about you take pics of him and he occasionally posts these

Liked by ynprivnotpriv, mikamimamii and 74 others

ej__jaeger dump! taken by the one who captures me thru the lens of love xx @ynprivnotpriv

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ynprivnotpriv the caption??? you’re so cheessyyyy 😭😭 luv you thoo 💖💖

grishaj__ 👍🫰

ej__jaeger @ynprivnotpriv only this cheesy for you my love

ej__jaeger @grishaj ❤️❤️

But besides that, Eren loves to take you out and spoil you with stuff. It’s kinda controversial though because look okay, Eren’s not a bum per se, but he also HATES working or doing anything labour wise so it’s really Grisha’s money he’s spending on you 😭😭😭 Like he gets a lil money from sponsors and that but its barely liveable earnings

And although you don’t mind, at times it’s like “Okay, Eren. We need to get you a job.” Because he’s at the checkout but on a phone call with his Dad talking bout “Just send it to me now, I’ll explain when I get home.” And you really dont wanna be spending Mr. Jaeger Sr.’s hard earned surgery money like that shdjdjd but Eren wouldn’t take the initiative to do any of that shit himself so you get Carla and Dina involved

“What about a Barista? You’ve got that cute hipster look to you, they’ll love you there.” You said.

All four of you sat in the living room around your laptop, scrolling on various job searching sites to find Eren an occupation. He however seemed to be the least enthusiastic.

“Noooo. Too many of my fan— People, I know go there. It’ll be too bait.”

“That’s okay!” Carla exclaims. “It means you can give them discounts and talk to your friends while you’re on your shift.”

You stifled a giggle, knowing those weren’t the type of people Eren was talking about but alas, we move.

Annoyingly bouncing a tennis ball onto the ceiling and then catching it, Eren sighed as he ran a hand through his hair and paced around the room.

“Man, I need something that pays good money but small hours and allows me all the flexi shifts I want.”

“öyle iş istiyorsan git de sihirli fasulye ye!” Carla tuts.

The brunette whizzed round in shock.

“You urging me to become a drug dealer?!”

“What?!” You look towards Carla with a gasp.

Shaking her head and hands, the woman tried to clear the allegations her son stuck on her.

“No! I told him to go eat magic beans if he wants a job so easy!” Carla explained but then followed up her words with a taunt in Eren’s direction — a warning not to make her look bad.

“Well, what about Zeke’s place? I’m pretty sure he could get you a nice position over there.”

All of you looked towards Dina who had a rather elated expression on her face. This also seemed to pique Eren’s interest seeing as he stopped pacing and gave Dina an intrigued look.

“Wouldn’t that make me a Nepo baby?” He asked.

With a straight face you narrowed your eyes at your boyfriend.

“Boy, that’s really your concern?” You deadpanned. This seriously couldn’t be the most testing factor of working with Zeke of all people but apparently Dina and Eren were on the same page.

“I don’t think it will.” Dina made a thinking face before bringing up her phone to do a quick search. “I only think it affects you if it’s passed down from a parent and not across from a sibling.”

With a groan, Carla threw her head onto your shoulders, feigning fatigue.

“Oh my goodness, my annecim only wants to be rich. Not a hard working bone in his body — Oh! I’ve failed.”

With a soft laugh, you patted the woman’s head.

“Sorry, Carla. I know you tried your best.”

At the end of the day though, Eren makes sure he always spoils you with nice things and doesnt mind spending maintenance money on you! He’ll always have coin for you regardless and loves when he sees you all dolled up under his appendage

he’s THAT Guy: he’ll wait for you when you get your manicures done and talks smooth with all the workers so he can get discounts and shii dhjddk 😭😭

“Girl, can I just say, your boyfriend is such goals? Like how he so smood with it?”

The nail technician briefly removed her face mask to whisper that to you, eyeing the way he was making easy conversation with the other woman.

With a small laugh, you tapped on side of your Airpod to pause your music so that you could also turn round to observe his antics.

“Yeah, no he treat me real well.”

Turning round back to her, you gave her a knowing look.

“You want me to hook you up with one of his friends?”

“What, they just as good as him?!” She whispered.

“Oh, nobody as good as him but they good.” Giving her a knowing look, you pursed your lips over at the woman.

With a nod and an impressed look back, the techniciane moved back to continue her work on your nails, her mood more excited.

“Okay, okay. I’ll see what you got to offer.”

Liked by dinafritz_off_fitfh, jeankir_jr and 29 others

ej__jaeger she keeps saying her feet are cold but she never wants to wear socks 🤨⁉️ LIKE??? if your lil white manny toes are cold, SOCK EM! 🗣🗣

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sashabear7891 FOR FREE EREN???? FOR FREE???! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

uchihabapegod put dem dawgs away son 🌭

ej__jaeger @sashabear7891 you always know where to get the prem shit thoooo

ej__jaeger @uchihabapegod okay zeke so now that youve said that explain to me why exactly youre perceiving my girls toes??? 🤨📸

ej__jaeger @jeankirjr_ I am giving you three working minutes to unlike this post.

Liked by arminarletarmin, yummir and 104 others

ej__jaeger ROD 🚀

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mikamikamii THATS A BIG ROCK??

uchihabapegod Marriage?? In this economy???

carlaakarjaeg_34 Eren Text Me Right Now. Please Eren

yummir @ynprivnotpriv lmaooooooo i know you aint sleeping rn bitch come explaaiinn???

conniethe_conman only reason i know you lot are playing us is bc i know eren DOES NAWT have the funds for that and because y/n wouldn’t say yes to an unemployed MAN 😆😆

ej__jaeger @conniethe_conman the way you’re the only one to not fall for it but DAMN???

#eren x reader #eren jeager #eren x black reader #eren yeager #eren jaeger #eren fluff

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chrollohearttags · 1 year

Note

What’s some ways eren talked about grisha in a song?

ooh I love this question! So eren is like super expressive when it comes to his music. Anything he can’t say to someone, he puts it in a song and gets his emotions that way. He never really talked about it much but it bothered him so much that his dad didn’t support him or his dream that he’d talk about how he felt like a disappointment or that he sort of resented him lowkey. He also calls him out for not being around a lot or saying how his job was more important. But the biggest thing he talks about is how he’s self made and lets everyone know that he was never made off of his daddy’s money.

“A lot of people have this misconception of me, that I paid my way here or that my dad is the reason. I’m not gonna pretend that I grew up poor or that I was struggling so bad but nobody got me this shit except me. He put me out on my ass when I was 16 because he hated it that much so I had no other choice. I got a lot of good people in my corner..but he’s the last person who deserves credit.”

#cherry’s asks 🍒#musician au #musician eren #this is my fav au and lore to talk about #I think he has serious daddy issues #and it takes him a long time to forgive him #eren headcanons #eren imagines #eren jaeger headcanons #eren jaeger imagines

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rose-sophia-isabella-rogers · 8 months

Text

A Soothing Rain of His: Chapter V - Drifting Apart

Chapter Summary: Alina continues her lessons with Baghra and tries to find what's holding her back. You struggle to be her friend, when you see her becoming closer to Aleksander. You feel you slowly lose him to her…

Pairing: Aleksander Kirigan/Reader

Characters: Aleksander Kirigan, Reader, Ivan, Alina Starkov, Nadia Zhabin

Word Count: 4057

A/N: Chapter contains some plot from episode four of season one. Inspired by prompts: https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089684456/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089559842/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089684643/

Tag list (let me know if you want to be added or removed):

@budugu

@intothesoul

@mizelophsun11

@pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy

@zeeader

On your way back from combat training, you come across Alina. She has troubled look on her face.

'Let me guess,' you say, catching up to her. 'You had a lesson with Baghra.'

'You can probably also guess how it went,' Alina murmurs. You grab her arm gently and squeeze it.

'Small steps, Alina,' you say. 'You're already doing better than when you arrived.'

'Yeah,' your friend murmurs, not exactly convinced. You observe her profile for a moment. Whatever happened during that lesson, clearly got her thinking hard.

'Alina… what happened?' you ask softly. Your friend sighs.

'Baghra drugged me,' she answers. You nod your head, understanding.

'Ah, yes,' you say. 'She tried that with me as well.'

'Tried?' Alina repeats.

'Mhm. After I drank poison once, I'm careful about what I'm drinking,' you explain and look at your friend. 'I'm assuming you already know that story?'

'The poison was meant for General Kirigan,' Alina says, nodding. 'Nadia and Marie told me about it. You're very brave. Honestly, I can't imagine doing something like that.'

'If it was someone you care a lot about, who knows?' you ask. Your friend watches you for a long moment.

'So, I'm guessing she did this to discover what's holding you back,' you say. Alina nods. But it's clear she doesn't want to say anything more about it.

'What happened after you… well, weren't drugged?' she asks instead.

'Baghra ordered me to think on my own what is holding me back,' you answer and sigh deeply. 'And it wasn't really that hard. My dad.'

'I remember him hating Grisha a lot,' Alina says, nodding. 'He thought they were monsters.'

'Still does,' you say, your voice strained. Your friend looks at you with surprise. You avoid her gaze.

'Even though you're a Grisha?' she asks with disbelief. You swallow.

'After that lesson with Baghra, I finally got enough courage to visit my home,' you start.

'Go on,' Alina says softly when you're silent for a long moment. You exhale shakily.

'My parents were of course informed about me being a Grisha,' you say. 'But I remembered how much they feared and despised Grisha. So, it took me time to go and visit them. Conversation with Baghra was the final push I needed. I went there and… I haven't seen them since.'

'It was that bad?' Alina asks quietly.

'It was very tense,' you answer. 'We couldn't find a common ground. Or a topic to talk about. It was really awkward. I left quickly and haven't visited them again.'

'Don't you miss them?' Alina asks. You shrug.

'Part of me does,' you admit and smile. 'But I found a family in my fellow Grisha. That includes you as well, you know.'

You nudge her playfully. Alina smiles.

'Thank you,' she says and sighs. 'I think I will go now. I have some things to think about.'

'Of course,' you say, nodding. 'Come to me if you need anything.'

'Thanks,' Alina says and walks away. You go in the opposite direction, to your room.

A few hours later you visit Aleksander in his chambers. You eat together and talk. Soon it becomes late and you start yawning.

'Go to sleep, milaya,' Aleksander says. 'I'll join you soon. I have to finish something.'

'I'm too tired to protest,' you murmur and stand up. Your lover chuckles and stands up as well. He kisses the top of your head and you smile. You go to his bedroom and put on a nightgown you have hidden there. Your head barely hits the pillow when you're fast asleep.

You're woken up violently by a bursting light. You almost fall from the bed, startled. You look around, dazzled. You see the source of the light coming from behind the door. You creep to it and open it silently. You look out carefully and see Aleksander. But he's not alone.

Next to him is Alina, who is the source of the light. She's holding his wrist and looking up at him with… something you can't exactly name. You only know it causes your stomach to turn. Aleksander, on the other hand, is looking at her with a certain dose of surprise.

You watch as Alina lets go of his hand. The light is gone from the room. They look at each other for a moment.

'You are not alone,' Alina finally says, shaking her head slightly, that look still in her eyes. Aleksander, who now you can see has tears in his eyes, reaches out and cups her cheek. He pulls her slightly to himself.

'I have been waiting a long time for you,' he says. You feel your heart breaking a bit. You tell yourself he means he's been waiting for the Sun Summoner to end the war, destroy the Fold. But a part of you fears it means something else.

'I should go,' Alina says. She takes a step back. Aleksander drops his hand. Alina turns around and leaves. The door closes behind her. Kirigan walks to the door. For a moment you wonder if he's hesitating about opening it and going after her. In the end, he turns around and goes back to the table.

You take a step back and stand still for a moment, your heart beating fast. You think what to do. You decide to grab a blanket and leave the bedroom. Quietly, you make your way to an armchair. You sit on it and put the blanket on your body. Aleksander either hears you, sees you in the corner of his eye or senses you, as he looks at you, surprised.

'[Y/N],' he says and smiles apologetically at you. 'I've taken longer than I wanted, didn't I?'

'I don't mind,' you say, making yourself comfortable. 'I can wait here. Take your time.'

'Surely it's more comfortable in my bed,' Aleksander says, amused.

'Well, it doesn't have you in it at the moment,' you point out. 'I don't like being away from you if I can help it.'

Aleksander walks to you. He caresses your cheek and smiles gently at you. He looks at you differently than he looked at Alina. You convince yourself that this softness is still reserved only for you.

'Thank you, lapushka,' he says.

'For what, pretty boy?' you ask.

'Always being by my side,' Aleksander answers. You touch his hand that is on your cheek.

'That's where I belong,' you say. 'I will always be by your side. You're not alone, I promise.'

He leans down to kiss you and it takes your breath away. Then, he pulls away and smiles again at you. You smile back and watch him go back to his table. Your eyes never leave him, but your thoughts are still stuck on the moment he was alone with Alina in this room. For some reason, you can't let go of what you saw.

'Thanks again for agreeing to come with me,' Alina says, as you two walk through the streets of Os Alta. You shake your head.

'It's not a problem,' you assure her. 'I needed some change of scenery anyway.'

'So did I,' Alina sighs. 'I'm surprised they let me out at all. I thought… you know.'

'Luckily, you're friends with me,' you say. 'I argued hard that you need to be let out or you're going to go crazy. But it's not without a price.'

'Yeah, I know,' Alina says. 'I'm not happy about it, but fine. But they do make me feel uncomfortable.'

'I feel the same.'

'Does it have to be so many of them, though?'

'Hey, you're the Sun Summoner and I keep getting kidnapped. Just before you arrived, I was kidnapped three times in the same week.'

'You're joking.'

'I wish I did. Honestly. It's scary to be kidnapped so often. But also a bit boring. I mean, honestly, how many times?'

'But why do they kidnap you?'

'Because I was General Kirigan's personal servant. They try to get information about him from me.'

'I see… But did they kidnap his previous servants as well?'

'No, which annoys me so much! I mean, why do they think I'm different? Or maybe it just occurred to them a servant is someone who can tell them his secrets when it was my turn? I don't know. But trust me, I was really annoyed by that.'

'More than by that security?'

'… Being guarded almost all the time is close.'

Alina laughs. You smile and glance behind yourself. Your smile drops immediately.

'Hey… where are our guards?' you ask, your voice a bit higher than normal. Alina swiftly turns. Her eyes go wide when she notices what you did. Your guards are no longer walking behind you.

'[Y/N]…' Alina says slowly, a bit afraid.

'Run,' you say, grabbing her hand, and sprint forward, back to the Little Palace. You barely start moving, when you hear shouts and voices. You both speed up.

'Can't we take them?!' Alina asks.

'Too many of them!' you shout back. You want to add something, but then you take a turn and have to stop to avoid running into a large man. You turn around. Other men are already there.

'Great,' Alina murmurs. 'No way out. We fight?'

Before you can answer her, you feel hands grabbing your arms. You start trashing and in the corner of your eye you see Alina doing the same, as she's too being held by someone.

'Let go!' she shouts.

'Forget about it,' a man says, coming forward, and grins evilly. 'You're going to get us quite a money from Fjerdans. And you… will probably give us something, too. Especially if we tell them you're the Darkling's servant pet.'

So, they are here mostly for Alina, but they know who you are. Not good.

'Let us go this instant,' your friend demands again. The man just snorts. He walks to you and grabs your chin. He forces you to look at him. He smiles lecherously.

'How about we get some fun before we sold this one, boys?' he asks and his man cheer. 'No offense, Miss Sun Summoner, but I'm not fond of Shu girls.'

'I'm not Shu,' Alina says with venom.

'But you look like one,' a guy says and spits. 'Filthy country.'

'Enough,' the leader says. His other hand touches your hip. You feel anger boiling in you.

'If you don't take your hands off me, in the next two seconds you won't have hands,' you say, your voice ice cold. The men laugh. You, however, glare at the man in front of you. But he scoffs.

'How would you do that with your hands spread apart, huh?' he asks and tightens his grip on you. You stare at him calmly.

'Don't forget I warned you,' you say. The man frowns. In the next moment you use all the training Botkin gave you. You headbutt the leader and move your body weight to throw the man holding you over your shoulder. Before anyone can react, you take out your knife and… cut off the hands of the leader.

'Raaaaargh!' the man screams, pressing his hands to his chest and falling on his knees. You throw your knife at the man holding Alina and hit him in the eye. He screams and lets go of her.

'Witch!' someone shouts. The men advance on you. You quickly create ice shards and throw them at them. They scream and duck.

'Come on!' you say to shocked Alina, grabbing her arm. You start running, dragging your friend with you. You hear men running after you. You speed up.

'We must hide!' Alina shouts. 'They're gaining on us!'

'No, we don't have to!' you deny. 'We just need to reach to reach that teahouse we passed earlier!'

'Why?!' Alina asks, stunned. You don't answer her. Because you see the teahouse and that causes you to smile. You take a deep breath.

'IVAN!' you scream at the top of your lungs. You hear Alina cursing under her breath, startled by your loud voice. But you don't even have time to apologise, as the door to the teahouse burst open and Ivan rushes outside, his expression dangerous. He scowls seeing the men running after you and brings his hands together.

Behind you men groan and scream. You pay it no mind. You drag Alina toward Ivan. Once you reach him, you stand behind him and turn around. You let your friend's hand go and summon water. You push it on the men's feet and freeze it. Now they can't move.

'Couldn't you do that earlier?' Alina asks, panting.

'I was improvising by then,' you answer. 'Also, I still need to concentrate really hard to turn water into ice.'

You look at Ivan. He's already giving orders to a servant that's with him. The boy nods and hurries off. Your friend walks to you and Alina.

'We go back to the Little Palace,' he says.

'Fine by me,' Alina says, eyeing your attackers.

'And me,' you agree, nodding. Ivan motions with his hand for you to walk at once. But you see a look of concern in his eyes when your eyes meet.

By the time you reach the Little Palace, you're exhausted. But it all stops mattering when you see Aleksander rushing down the stairs to meet you. You can't help but smile.

'Are you alright?' he asks. You open your mouth to answer… but Aleksander stops in front of Alina. He looks with worry at her. Not you. Your smile drops.

'I'm fine,' your friend answers with a small smile and looks at you. 'Thanks to [Y/N]. She got us out of this situation with her quick thinking.'

'I'm glad to hear it,' Aleksander says, smiling, but still doesn't look at you. 'However, I hope you know there aren't going to be any more trips to Os Alta. Or anywhere else.'

'I know,' Alina sighs. 'To be honest, at this moment, I wouldn't mind leaving my bed at all.'

Aleksander chuckles. Your stomach turns. You clench your jaw.

'We should rest,' you say, forcing your voice to sound normal. Alina flinches, as if remembering that you are here as well.

'Yeah,' she agrees and smiles shyly at Aleksander. She wants to say something else, but you're already walking to the door. She decides to hurry after you, allowing herself only to cast one last glance at your lover. It's never been so hard to control your powers than in this moment.

It's late at night when there's a knock on your door. You can feel who's outside. Usually, you call him in at once. But tonight, you pause and stand still for a moment.

'It's open,' you finally say. You calmly watch as the door opens quietly and Aleksander slips in. You can see tiredness on his face. He smiles weakly at you but seeing you don't answer it, he stays where he is.

'How are you feeling?' he asks.

'Better,' you answer. 'The men?'

'Dealt with,' Aleksander answers and sighs. 'Forgive me for not asking how you were earlier. I… I must appear I care more about the Sun Summoner's well-being more.'

Don't you?

You shake off those thoughts. You nod curtly but stay silent.

'No one can know how I feel about you,' Aleksander goes on. 'You know that. It's for your own safety.'

'I know,' you say, tired of hearing this. 'It still hurt, though.'

'I know, moya lapushka,' Kirigan says, walking to you. 'I'm sorry. Let me make it up to you.'

He cups your face. You see sincerity in his eyes. Any other day, you'd take advantage of that offer. But tonight…

'I'm tired,' you say, smiling sadly. 'At the moment I just want to lay on your chest and listen to your heartbeat.'

'Then that's what you will get,' Aleksander says, already unfastening his kefta. You do the same with yours. A few minutes later you're both in your nightwear (Aleksander has his set hidden in your bedroom as well) and climb into bed.

'Ah, yes,' Kirigan says, suddenly remembering something. 'My mother heard you managed to create ice shards in a heartbeat and used them against those men. I think she was actually… satisfied.'

'For a moment I thought you were going to say "impressed" or "proud",' you say. 'And I started to worry whether someone switched places with Baghra.'

Aleksander laughs. You can't help but smile and relax at that sound. The feeling from before slowly starts to vanish.

'Sleep, my love,' Kirigan says, putting his arms around you. 'Today was stressful. You deserve rest.'

You exhale deeply and close your eyes. Your head lays on Aleksander's chest. The sound of his heartbeat lulls you to sleep. For a moment everything is good again.

But in the morning, it's gone. Aleksander is gone. A part of you isn't even surprised. You just stand up and walk to your window. And there you see your lover. With Alina. Taking a walk.

'[Y/N]?' you hear Natasha's voice and a knock. 'Are you up?'

You don't answer. Your eyes are glued to Alina and Aleksander. You almost feel your heart slowly breaking.

Tidemakers often pair up with Squallers for training. At first you hated this, because everyone you were paired up with was far more advanced than you. But now you're better. Now you're good. You can easily keep up with them.

That day you are practicing with Squallers and other Tidemakers, but as a group. One person would attack a dummy with their powers and others would give them pointers. You were always nervous during such trainings. You know everyone means well when telling you what you can improve, but you always feel they're judging you because you've started training later.

You try to calm yourself down, watching a Squaller attacking a dummy. But you see something in the corner of your eye that causes you to stop paying attention. Your heart drops. There they are again. Alina and Aleksander taking a walk, talking and smiling.

You hoped that you being almost kidnapped again would bring Aleksander back closer to you. But the opposite happened. Every day you watch him spending time with Alina. Whenever you walk into the room and she's there as well, his attention is on her. He talks with you flirts with you, yes. But you feel he's not really into it. You try not to think too much about it, but it's hard when he hasn't visited your chambers since that night. He hasn't called you to his either.

You clench your fists, seeing Aleksander smiling at something Alina said. You know she's the Sun Summoner and you need her to unite Ravka and end all wars. You know your lover is charming, handsome and… you could go on. You know he needs to focus on her to achieve peace. But it still hurts seeing them together.

'Alright, [Y/N], your turn,' Nadia says. You place yourself in front of the dummy. You summon your power. You feel it at the ends of your fingertips. And then you hear a chuckle.

You turn your head slowly. You see Alina grinning and Aleksander trying to contain his laughter. Your heart sinks. He's never like that in public with you. He's always calm and composed, even if you say something that amuses him.

Anger boils inside of you. It needs to be let out. You don't think and let it consume you. You bring your hands together and see water forming in front of you. You push it forward at the dummy, fuelling it with your anger.

Aleksander and Alina are pulled away from their conversation by loud gasps and yelps. They look at the training Grisha and are stunned by what they see. Alina's eyes go wide and her mouth part slightly. She's just as surprised as every other Grisha here.

The dummy is cut in more or less half, diagonally. The edges are covered in ice. The top 'half' is laying on the ground. Cut. You used the Cut.

Bewildered, you turn to look at Aleksander and Alina, ignoring excited and disbelieving whispers around you. Your friend from Keremzin is looking at your work with awe. Kirigan is looking at it with… pride. There's a small smile on his face.

His eyes meet yours for a moment and there's that soft look reserved only for you. It makes you happy… but only for a second, as he turns back to Alina, resuming their conversation. You feel as if it was your heart that was cut.

'That… Ekhm. Well done, [Y/N],' Nadia says at a loss of words. No one knows what else to say. Because how they can suggest improving something with what you did?

For the rest of the training, you stand at the back, quiet. Then, you go by the lake. You stand there, your eyes fixed on the water. The part by the bank freezes and unfreezes. It's your relaxing method. You try to calm down with it. You can still feel tears burning your eyes, so it seems it's failing today.

You're not sure how much time have passed when Baghra shows up. Normally, it would really surprise you. You're not sure whether you've ever seen her outside her hut. She stops next to you and watches what you are doing with water.

'I've heard you managed to use the Cut,' she says after a few minutes. You just nod. Baghra turns her face to you.

'You should be prouder of yourself,' she says. 'It's not an easy feat.'

Normally, it would make you happy, hearing such words from her. But not today.

'So,' she says when you still keep being silent. 'I've always knew you had it in you. The question is, what provoked it.'

'You know what,' you say quietly. Your heart aches again at the memory of seeing the two of them together. Baghra sighs.

'He's pushing you away, then?' she asks. 'You might as well be invisible to him?'

You shake your head. It's not like that. Not really.

'It would be too easy to say that I feel invisible,' you deny. 'Instead, I feel painfully visible and entirely ignored.'

You exhale shakily and try to blink away the tears. Baghra stares at you in silence.

'I really hoped it would work,' she says quietly. Too quietly for you to hear. So, you frown at her.

'What?' you ask. Baghra shakes her head.

'It doesn't matter,' she says and looks at you with a known to you sternness. 'Don't give up hope. Never do it, girl.'

'Is there any?' you ask with doubt.

'Of course, there is!' Baghra says and you swear you can feel she's itching to smack you with her cane. 'I saw how he looks at you. It's… Something like that is not easy to destroy. Fight for it. Fight for him.'

You stare at her, stunned and confused. Baghra pats your arm and turns to leave.

'Why?' you ask, stopping her. 'Why do you care about it?'

'Because you may be the only one able to save him,' Baghra answers, not looking at you.

'From what?' you ask, even more confused. She finally turns slightly to look at you with a seriousness that chills you to the bone.

'From himself,' she answers. You stare at her. She stays for a moment longer and then leaves. You watch her go, deep in thought.

'"Himself"…' you repeat in a whisper to yourself. You don't know what to do. If it's worth to fight like Baghra encourages you. You know you don't want to lose Aleksander. But the anger you felt today scared you. Still does. You don't want to feel like that again.

You sigh deeply and head back toward the Little Palace. On your way you pass Grisha. As usual, they gossip. Mostly they do, to your embarrassment, about your achievement today. You see looks of awe shot your way. But other gossips make your stomach turn. They're about how close Alina and Aleksander now are.

You shake your head. You must stop thinking about it. You can't change the way Aleksander feels. You will continue to try to get his attention. And if Alina is truly meant to be his equal… then maybe it means you have to let go.

A/N: Thank you for reading! Please, reblog, like and comment if you could.

This can also be found on Archive of Our Own: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49547866/chapters/125615938

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