#bc i never know how it sounds when i vent like does it seem like im making it about me or is it just venting

[sereniv]

just venting

i mean whats the end goal for any of them

the politicians, the rich

to start a world war? to cause an uprising? an economic collapse? an unlivable planet? chaos?

bc thats whats going to happen

everything is being stretched so fucking thin that they will have nothing left for themsleves, they will have destroyed everything and then what??

wait until the last possible minute to either die from natural causes, vices, or kill yourself??

like what is the end goal? world domination? (im talking about the rich and politicians in general)

bc if its power that only goes so far. same with money.

even if you enslaved the whole world it wouldnt last. it cant it just is literally impossible

this kind of shit is finite, being a terrible person has a limit

they want to feel so powerful but is there an end?

but i guess they literally are just riding the wave until they die.

i just cant wrap my head around it

and its so fucking hard to give up. i want to give up so bad and just stop caring and just focus on whatever i want and get in that shitty richy politician mindset

because i dont believe in accountability after death, but i cant.

even with the anger and wanting these people dead and this strong beyond words feeling of hate for them i still cant fathom and understand the hate they have for everyone who isnt them or like them

if they all dropped dead im celebrating

but if i had a choice between them changing all of a sudden and them dropping dead id choose change

how does someone become like them how does that hate and anger grow so much that it practically oozes out their pores

i cant help but not give up and i cant help but have hope

their ways are not sustainable and everything is already breaking and i hope it breaks soon like full on. whatever that means

#because all thats happening right now is trying to hold together a cracked dam #just pull the fucking walls down #anyway i really hope enough people dont vote for biden #i obviously dont want trump #but there needs to be SOME consequences to his actions #there needs to be SOMETHING #i saw a little girl dead still holding a piece of bread in her hand #i saw half a baby #the terrorizing in ukraine the terrorizing in sudan the congo palestine #its too much it hasnt felt this much before #like everyday every hour is like #is bisan still alive? is motaz? is wael? #and i dont want to be one of those people that like #yknow. talks about how the Opression of others affects them #bc i never know how it sounds when i vent like does it seem like im making it about me or is it just venting #its just everytime I eat everytime i run water from the tap everytime i turn on the heat or watch a funny video i cant stop thinking of wha #is happening. and i mean i always have that problem in cold and hot weather with houseless people. #but it feels wrong to witness and it feels wrong to not think or remember #im not going to change anything as an individual. and im doing what i can but it just feels like #idk. #it just feels bad being able to vent and then just #go and scroll #like change the topic reblog a soybean rat #ugh

[hua-fei-hua]

*lying in the dirt staring at the starry night sky* i think the secret to maintaining a good name online is to simply not share personal information, block the haters n libelers, and have a social life outside the internet

#and also to not make 'discourse' your personality bc god knows we have enough bitches in fandom milk-fed on internet discourse #in other words i'm having thoughts on big name fan...hood? -ishness? i'm not sure but anyway That and how it's dehumanizing #there's an essay from 2006 i'm rereading (i will clarify that i did not read it in 2006. i did not have access to the internet in 2006) #about why no one ever wants to admit they're a big name fan; as written by someone who has come to terms w/their bnf status #and it's got this kind of tongue-in-cheek vibe to it and the advice it gives; like it was written by someone completely exhausted by it #or who has seen what it does to a person firsthand and needs to vent about it while also making sure people take it seriously #i want to say it's almost like that kind of dire gallows humor where you know no matter what you say you Will have haters on your ass #it sounds vain to say that i was ever a bnf anywhere. but i can't say i never had a name at all anywhere #and watching that buildup towards what seemed like an inevitable fate as a bnf someday in some fandom soon #it's part of the complex cocktail that motivates my anonymity in gnshn #bc i've had my ideas treated as untouchable; my writing treated as The Way to present a premise (both accounts towards orchid) #i'm glad i've never had like. a parasocial experience or anything where in trying to compliment my writing they compliment my person instead #the uncertainty of my person that comes w/anonymity is such a reprieve tho. to draw attn when i deliberately play down anything #that i feel might bring it makes what i receive more earned n more focused on what i want to talk abt (the writing) #there are def some things that can only be understood through time and watching your own history grow n build n connect w/others #until you are suddenly made acutely aware that you do not exist in a vacuum is one of them #and i understand the urge to cut most if not all of it away and start anew bc that *is* terrifying in all honesty #花話

[madesofgold]

.

#i don't normally post stuff like that here but i need a place where i can just vent within it being seen by those people #anyway ok i just wish my friends were my friends more alsksjdj #i see ppl with their best friends how they talk about them what they do together and it just makes me sad #bc i want to have someone like that to do stuff and be silly with and talk and just hang out and i miss my best friend #bc we don't do that anymore #we've barely seen each other last year and when we do it's always just briefly and we never get to talk about deeper themes #some things i'm desperate to talk to her about and we've always done that but now she never has time for me #it feels like I've been replaced by her gf and they're doing everything together and i guess that's what you do you abandon your friends #no I'm not bitter or jealous. at least I'm trying not to be #she also has other friends a different group from uni that I've never met and i see she's having fun with them #and i don't have any of that and I really want to have a group of friends i just can't seem to find any #and we also barely even text anymore. sometimes i reach out and then it can take over a day for her to answer and it just feels shitty #ik she has her reasons and she's not doing it bc she doesn't want to talk or doesn't like me lol but it sucks that we can't even text #and i can't help but wonder if she does that to other people or if she's texting her gf right away and ughhhh #she feels so distant but i don't want that. i don't want us to be like that #i only have two real good friends that I've known forever and my other friend also sucks at reaching out and has her bf and friends #who i know but i'm also not really a part of that group. so basically i never see my friends and i feel fucking lonely woohoo nothing new #i want to have friends who reach out and just casually text me and i can tell them about my day and i see them at least once a week #and we can just hang out and have fun and god i sound so pathetic i don't even have that #somehow i missed the call where everyone started having their group of adult friends and a romantic partner and I'm still stuck #everyone just kind of has their own lives and I'm not a part of it #it just hit me again today i literally had a dream i met a bunch of people and we were having fun and it reminded me of how lonely i am lol #*without it being seen wow great typo in the first sentence that i can't change now #anyway i wish there were songs about this particular situation that i could listen to and be emo but i can't find any rip

[twinknote]

top 5 meronia headcanons.......

FINALLY POSTING THIS ty for bearing w me anon!!!

housewife mello and spoiled princess near

mello is the domestic daddy of the relationship. he does the cooking, cleaning, and general house stuff. he genuinely enjoys having his routines and he's also just unwilling to live in squalor after sharing a room with matt growing up <- guy whose idea of cleaning is shoving everything into a closet/under the bed. near isn't necessarily incapable of doing these things, but let's be real. the man is a princess. i imagine he does do some cleaning when mello asks him for help and that he also does other things like paying bills and budgeting.

russian mello and french-canadian near

ok listen. i know some of you think that russian mello is overdone. HEAR ME OUT THO. first, statistically speaking, the surname keehl is most popular in russia, aside from the u.s. (1) and mihael (михаил) is also an extremely common russian name. aside from all that, he just truly strikes me as Such a russian (<- guy who is russian and also has a degree in russian and spent 4 years studying the language and culture) like between his no nonsense, independent, standoffish nature and his long blonde hair and sharp features? soooo russian coded imo

and as for near, to be fair, canada has around the 12th densest population of the surname river (2) but it does have both english and french origins-- "rivers" seeming to be more french-coded, but immigration loves to fuck up ppl's names to be fair (3) i have less evidence for near being french-canadian but i think it's cute and since morgan put this concept in my brain it has lived there rent free

near having the power to dom mello

we all know that on the outside, mello's a dominant power-hungry bitch. HOWEVER. a lot of the time those kinds of people fantasize about releasing power and letting someone else take the reins. and we also all know how obsessed this man has always been with near (for better or for worse). i fully believe that with the right tone of voice, near could tell mello to sit and bark like a dog and he would. not to mention uhh other acts. know what i'm saying?

mello never hated near. he hated himself.

it was never about mello being better than near or truly disliking him. it was always about mello's lack of self-esteem, security, and faith in himself. he felt like he needed to prove something, he felt like his inferiority to near was like a flashing neon light to everyone in the world and for that reason, he was like This dude Sucks and i'm so much better than him. and then he grows up a little and actually has accomplishments of his own that he feels proud of and creates security for himself so his nervous system is able to calm down and actually recognize that near had always been one of his closest friends and one of the people he related to and looked up to the most.

matt is an integral part of their dynamic.

listen. don't hate me bc i'm right. whether it's in a romantic or platonic capacity, matt has something that near and mello do not-- the combined power of realistic non-deranged observation and communication skills. he is the one they go to (esp mello bc yk they're besties) when they get into a fight and can't even figure out wtf they're fighting about. mello comes over in a shit mood and matt pours him a drink, listens to him vent, and gives him a much needed dose of reality and sound advice. and if we're talking about nearlymellodramattic, he is the glue of the relationship. mello is hotheaded and near is socially inept most of the time. matt is the goofy jester moderator of the relationship, keeping the gears oiled and helping everyone to communicate their feelings.

#TY FOR ASKING <3 #feel free to expand or refute my claims #ask #meronia #dn

[tori-artemis]

I don't usually make posts when I'm upset about something (or like, at all) but honestly I'm just. Really sick of the Loki fandom as a whole. Like I'm just tired of all the pettiness and bullshit. And tbh it's on both ends of the Loki series/Ragnarok split. Both pros and antis.

This isn't so much a vague post as it's a vent post for me. You see, I've been having these feelings about the Loki fandom overall for months now, and I've seen certain posts from the positive side where I just want to - jump in and say something, or at least speak for myself as an ""anti"" (hate that word btw) bc the amount of generalizing I've seen that goes on over there wrt ppl who dislike the show is just - well it's fucking frustrating. Like it annoys me bc I've heard every dumb overgeneralization since the show first came out, from not wanting Loki to move on bc we're oh-so-traumatized to we're just bitter bc the show didn't go the way we wanted/our hcs of Loki weren't validated, etc.

I think one that annoyed me the most was the claim that ppl who hate/dislike Sylvie as a character do so out of misogyny. And like - maybe there's some truth there wrt how the character/actress tend to be bombarded with gendered slurs, and yes that's not cool, but I've never referred to Sylvie or Sophia as any slur. (In fact I don't even hate Sylvie - what I do hate is how the writers have set her up as a "superior" contrast to Loki, which to me seems very intentional on their part, particularly wrt the Trauma Olympics™ as in "Sylvie had it so much harder" 🙄 - but I digress). Yet I can't help but feel like I'm being lumped in the "antis are misogynists" bin every time I read any of those posts from the pro side, simply bc I dislike the way a character was utilized. The way those posts are written, the way they sound - it's very black and white, overgeneralizing an entire group of fans, there's no nuance or side notes or disclaimers of "hey - I know not all of y'all are like this, this is just about some I've encountered" - not even in the tags, nothing. And I've just wanted so badly to jump in and say: "hey, anti here and I'm not like that" but I refrain, bc I've grown so tired of all the fandom infighting and discourse that I usually don't have the energy to get into it. So when I see someone from that side of fandom jump on a post and say how they dislike being overgeneralized as a fan, and how they feel like they're being misrepresented, or condescended to... I can't help but feel kinda upset by that, ngl. Part of me just wants to say "yes it sucks, but recognize that your side (if not you yourself) does it too. Some of you folks do it too."

Like I've read posts implying/stating that antis who hate the show lack critical thinking skills - and like, look, there might be a bit of truth wrt, say, calling Sylvie an outright abuser (and even I've been a little guilty of agreeing to view her as a person with toxic traits as opposed to the enemy-to-lovers trope she clearly falls into - tho I still can't really fault myself for not being able to take that romance seriously due to how damn rushed and forced it felt - but that's besides the point). But there's just something about the way a lot of these posts are worded, like yes some posts are pretty reasonable, but others are practically dripping with condescending sentiment (for lack of better words) as if we're fucking stupid for having emotional reactions to media as opposed to critical reactions, when isn't that the point of media and art, to illicit emotions? Like yes, the story might be trying to say something (and it might epically fail in doing so, which is how I view the show overall) but it's also meant to move ppl. And if it fails to do so, or it garners an unintended reaction, or the characterization is too inconsistent or the story telling itself is rushed/filled with inconsistencies then can you really blame fans for, well, being blindsided by disappointment/their emotions as opposed to critically analyzing it? And yes I know this is a matter of opinion, but still.

(Like sometimes a story can be extremely well written overall, and very well thought out and fans will just be oblivious to, choose to ignore or even outright refuse to pick up on the symbolism within a story, or the internal motivations/conflicts within a character, or how a character progresses/character arcs in general. Sometimes fans will even completely and intentionally misread a character in their entirety, and the role they play within a story, no matter how skilled and how excellent the writing is within a piece of art. And sometimes fans will just overall fail to realize the major themes/hints that a writer carefully lays out. Yes this is a thing, and one I've been made aware of in the particular fandom that I'm about to join.)

But then there's stories that are just... lazily/half-heartedly written at best, and so I just don't understand where pro stans get off by being condescending to ppl like me who just couldn't be immersed due to all those flaws in storytelling. Especially when I didn't get enough out of it to even see where a lot of these conclusions fans seem to have drawn from it. Like there are some inconsistencies within the story itself, there are things that just don't make a whole lot of sense, there are many contradictions, I didn't just make them up. And again I know, everyone interprets media differently, but I don't really see what a lot of pro fans have taken from the series, bc I personally don't think its there. And I really don't appreciate being thought of as some kind of imbecile for not "getting it" when the media in question is, objectively... not all that great tbh. And I'm being absolutely neutral when I say that, like I'm literally not even hating here.

And like I could've easily have turned around and made a bunch of posts stating how pro fans are "stupid" for putting so much thought into a piece of media I personally find to be stupid or just lacking in general, but I haven't. Bc one: that's a shitty thing to do to ppl, and two: it wouldn't even be true bc so many ppl who I consider very intelligent have enjoyed this show, and do put a lot of thought into analyzing it, so despite me not really seeing where they're coming from I want to respect that. And look, it's not like I haven't had those presumptuous thoughts or knee jerk reactions, bc yeah I am in an echo chamber too, and I'm no saint - I'm definitely human and I've had some overgeneralized, uncharitable takes. But I recognize this about myself, I don't post that shit. Which is why I get so upset when I see so many other fans do just that.

Also there is a definite misuse of the depiction of torture, which is used to convey certain themes, and that's very unfortunate, and IMO very bad writing/storytelling. I probably would've been a little more charitable towards the series overall if the Sif-beatdown timeloop scene had been scrapped altogether like the writers seriously should've considered doing (due to the fact that torture has so many misconceptions and is grossly excused in the majority of media which has unfortunate real world consequences) and instead focus more on Loki confronting his fear of being alone, if that truly is what the intention for that scene was. Like yes, some antis might go overboard wrt the messaging within the show, but when it comes to things like the atrocious time loop scene... that's not a made up thing we just happen to pull out of nowhere, that's something the writers put in there and therefore, yeah that's pretty fucked.

Then on the other side I'll find myself liking a post from a negative series fan bc I'll agree with the overall sentiment of it, only to unlike it right after reading the tags bc they've said something like "ppl who like this show/movie/etc are stupid" or "if you ever defended or even enjoyed TR fuck you" - and like??? WTF. I understand disliking the show or whatever but why the hell would you brush over an entire group of real, actual people as "idiots" for simply liking a piece of media??? Like - do I think the show was a disjointed mess? Yeah, I do. Do I think it was poorly written? Yes. Do I even think the reasoning behind a lot of these writing decisions was really fucking stupid on the creators part (or at the very least, that they failed to convey their ideas clearly)? Absolutely. But that doesn't mean anyone who's ever enjoyed the show is stupid for doing so, and I say this as someone who does have the knee-jerk reaction to go "how could you like that show, it sucked so much!"

But like, at the end of the day I understand that ppl take different things out of media. And just bc you find something so stupid or unwatchable, doesn't mean others will, and that's okay bc ppl are different and have different tastes and IDK how ppl don't fucking get that??? Like why is this even a hot take when it's literally just a fact???

It's shit like this that makes me feel like leaving the fandom all together. Which I don't really want to do, bc despite everything wrong with fandom and despite my own personal disappointment with the latest Loki/Thor franchise installments I still really love Loki as a character, and I still want to write fic revolving him. I even still want to make friends within the Loki fandom bc that's literally why I created this blog in the first place, to befriend other Loki fans, like I could've easily stayed being a lurker within the fandom but regardless I think at this point it's farfetched to want this bc the fandom's just way too split and way too hostile and way too fucking eager to be uncharitable and condescending af. And I'm just tired. I'm just... really really tired of the pettiness, the condescending attitude a lot of fans seem to fucking have for anyone who might think differently from them.

I'm tired of the gatekeeping - on both sides. It's on both sides. Because saying "real Loki fans would never like/defend TR/the show" and "how anyone can claim to be a Loki fan if they hate him/his own show" aren't so far apart from each other, both sentiments basically say the same thing, just from polarized viewpoints.

And I wish more fans would just recognize that.

#Loki fandom negativity #I refuse to tag this as anything else bc this isn't about the show - it's the fandom #look I'm just tired guys #I've been fed up and sick of all the damn fucking pettiness #Maybe I'm being overdramatic here #But in my defense I too am in the middle of experiencing that time of the month... #(I swear this isn't so much about that particular post as it is about all the other posts and nonsense I've seen #and the disappointment I've had with fandom that's just been pent up inside of me) #I know ppl follow me who are really entrenched in the negativity side who might take offense to this #And while I'm not really trying to offend anyone here I don't really want to go on pretending that I'm not kinda upset by all the - #posts and hot takes and hate bashing of fans/folks who might've actually enjoyed the show - bc yeah I hate that damn show too #but I can't help but feel disappointed when ppl start calling folks ''idiots'' and whatnot for enjoying a piece of media #THIS IS A BOTH SIDES ISSUE AND IM FUCKING TIRED OF IT #ALL OF YOU (GENERALLY) FUCKING GATEKEEP THE FANDOM #BOTH CONDESCEND THE OTHER SIDE AND ITS. FUCKING SHITTY #NO IM NOT A MISOGYNISTIC IDIOT WHO'S INCAPABLE OF CRITICALLY ANALYZING A MEDIOCRE/SUBPAR SHOW #AND NO JUST BC I HATE THE SHOW DOESNT MEAN I WANT TO HATEBASH ANYONE WHO ENJOYED IT #PPL ARENT IDIOTS OR STUPID FOR LIKING/DISLIKING A PIECE OF MEDIA FFS #like even discussing with some friends on discord is frustrating when they say things like ''i judge ppl who like the show'' #like no. stop doing that shit. dont condescend others like that #if anyone seeing this feels offended and wants to block/unfollow thats okay #ive already made another blog focusing on a completely different fandom #so im probably going to be dipping out of here soon anyway #i just wanted to get this off my chest before doing so #also i know there are some cool ppl here on both sides/in the middle but im just done #i said i wasnt going to talk about the show but then i just went and did so #loki series criticism i guess #might as well title this post 'How to lose friends and alienate loki fans' #tldr: everyone (generally) in this damn fandom is fucking petty and IM TIRED

[kazykitti618]

This is not aimed at anybody it's just a safe place to vent my emotions right now

Can a reasonably intelligent person please answer one question for me?

What is the point of a domestic violence no contact order if one of the parties keeps knowingly violating it? This person is a narcissist. And keeps giving the abused person hanging on, even after the abuser has said that they no longer want the abused out of their life.

I try to help , but after spending the last 3 days picking up the pieces, I have things held over my head that no person should ever hold over a head.

I like to think of myself as a kind and caring person. If I'm not then let me know. But how many times does it take for someone to stop being pulled back in. I understand the feeling of not breaking up a family but at what cost ?

I keep thinking that if I had maybe done something in my own relationship to end the cycle, that maybe they wouldn't be doing this.

I don't want the abused to go back and just get abused again. And it breaks my heart that the abused would go back and choose the abuser over family that loves and cares for them, even at the detriment of their baby.

My heart truly hurts and there is nothing I can say or do to make the abused see that the road they're headed down will only end in heartache. I fear the abused will lose their child due to the violent behavior of their partner.

I, of all people understand the psychology of it all. It still hurts. And I'm emotionally exhausted. I will lose my family and my heart is breaking because of it. The abuser has done it to their own mother. Told the abused that the paternal grandmother was no longer to see the child. So I know , even though the abused has said it would never happen. The abused has said that the abuser was the only reason for that to be so. So what's to stop them from saying the same about me.

I'm sad, I'm scared, and I feel very out of control. You live through your own hell and then survive. Just to see it happen to someone you love.

Motherhood is the most impossible thing. You help them grow and send them out into the world. You can see the trouble ahead and want to stop them and tell them not to go there. But instead you have to say , ok keep going, I know what's about to happen, but keep going. Don't stop them from getting hurt. We try to think that while they were growing up they learned to protect themselves and see the danger, but sometimes they don't. And you have to stand back and let that train wreck happen. It breaks you. Makes you feel like a failure. And in that feeling a mother realizes that all that love and wisdom you have imparted has not been listened to. Impossible.

I'm not expecting anybody to read through this whole thing but I needed to let it out somehow. Right now I'm screaming on the inside while being supportive on the outside. Letting them make the mistakes happen.

I've been quiet about it , bc as strangers, nobody honestly cares about the reality of your personal life. That's not part of the anonymity of these "relationships". I have heard time and again, " I don't want to hear about your personal life, that's not why I'm here". " I'm here to only use you".

You go to therapy and tell them the things you want them to hear, masking the true issues below the surface. To quote a song lyric. Go on and hide your crazy and act like a lady. But the screams are starting to get louder and start to block out the logical bits and pieces of my soul. No quiet, no peace, no calm just the sound of screams. And when you're by yourself and try to quiet them, they just get louder till there's no more room for anything else.

I just want to have someone hold me and tell me everything is going to be alright. But I can't have that. I don't have that. So the storm inside only grows. So if I seem to be quiet, I'm sorry. There's nobody to do that. There's nobody else for me to help me pick up my pieces when this is done and I'm left alone and trying to pick up the pieces of my own broken heart.

That's all. That's it. I'm too tired to think of anything anymore.

Here's to hoping you have your own person to help pick up your pieces. And that you never experience this kind of pain.

💔💔💔💔

[thatweirddolldude]

I want to talk about (my) Tourette's because I never really do. (This is not a vent! :])

So I have Tourette's syndrome. I've had it for a long ass time. I didn't developed it in 2019 and I didn't start after I turned 18. I got it a little later in life at 13-14 (I'm currently 21) I had little small tics every now and then, just something small and not really repetitive. Then that developed into TS.

It is possible to develop it after the age of seven. But if you developed it after the age of 18, then maybe doctors say it isn't Tourette's. I don't know why; that's just what I read.

I ended up in the hospital last October because I developed seizure-like tics that stayed for months. They put me in a wheelchair. I ended up having to go to the hospital two times, one to be sedated and two to have doctors see if it's actual seizures. They concluded it was TS.

I had to kind of teach myself how to walk/stand again. I used a cane for a while and, honestly, I still need it, but I can't work with a cane bc no one will hire me. It was still happening; I was just gaining more control over myself. I busted my ass a lot trying to use a cane, but I still did it. I figured out how to stand with a cane. Now that only happens every now and then.

I'm telling you this because people on TikTok tend to make this disorder seem funny. People actively laugh at me and then tell me they follow someone on TikTok with TS. Not every person posting TS content is making the disorder seem like a joke. It's mostly assholes who fake it to get clout. The fact there's been people outed for faking it is so sad. It makes me, a person with the disorder feel personally shamed. It makes me unable to trust anyone.

My main point: I don't tic all the time. I used to when I first developed the disorder a long time ago. But I've been medicated for it (From a neurologist), and honestly- TS gets better with time. The more you learn to deal with your emotions and stress and the panic of the world, it kinda calms down. It still happens quite a bit. But it isn't every day. Sometimes its only once a day for like an hour. Sometimes it happens in cycles. I'm ticcing for a few moments. I'm fine. I'm ticcing for a few hours. I'm fine. If I sit down I won't be able to stand up and I sound like I'm stuttering through razor blades. Yes, the stuttering is so bad. And I don't have a speech impediment. I'm just repeating the start of a word SO much that I sound like I'm stuttering for multiple minutes. And then I'm fine.

TS is weird, okay. No one actually understands it. It's set in your nervous system. No one can touch the nervous system without damaging it. TS sends signals through the nervous system, but so does me just moving my hand. So doctors don't know what it is really. Remember, there are only theories right now.

#tourette's #TS #tourettes syndrome #actually disabled

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

tw talk of nail biting? and stimming ig? i dunno wtf to tag this with, sorry.

okay, this is gonna sound really stupid. like. ik this is me overreacting but i feel like i just need to talk about it. advice would be great but if you just want this to be a vent, that's fine. im Xra.

i bite my nails ok? i bite my nails, i like, gnaw on my hands, pick at my skin, shit like that, I always have. the gnawing thing is a stim, like, i'm autistic and sometimes i just have half my hand in my mouth trying to comfort myself or contain my feelings. which sounds gross, i know it does, trust me, i've been told, you don't have to tell me. i've tried to stop. i briefly stopped biting my nails. long nails are sensory HELL and something bad happened and i just fell right back into it and i never stopped any of the other stuff.

but i have a sister, who i avoid, bc she's mean to me most of the time. i don't mean like, 'ooh my sister is just annoying :/ i hate not being an only child', i mean she's always telling me shit like she used to hate me, and stuff i need to work on so that i'm not so "abrasive" or "weird" or telling me stories about every time i messed up when i was little and how stupid i looked, which is realy fun because some of those incidents i didn't even realize i was looking stupid! she makes me feel bad. ANYWAY. she also likes to point out and kind of pick on me for my nail biting shit.

but she pointed it out when my mom was in the room. and most people don't say anything about it bc they know im very self conscious about it. but my sister was going on and on about how i needed to get a handle on it and how it looked nasty and then she turned to my mom and she was like right? and my mom, who usually says nothing at all about it! and has never been mean about it like this! went off on a tangent about how my dad bites his nails, his mom bites her nails, and how its a "generalational curse" from his side and how i'll probably do it all my life and chip my teeth and wear down my nails and have all sorts of complications that i'll have to deal with because she can't handle trying to convince me to stop. it was just. i was straight up crying. it was awful.

i guess it was meant to be a wake up call for me. and i guess i get it. its disgusting. and i'm fucked up or whatever. but i can't stop. especially bc of the whole autism and stimming shit. i know it's stupid to get upset because. she's right, i SHOULD stop, it is bad, ect ect, but i can't stop feeling really hurt about it because like-she never even apologized and she just pretends it didn't happened but now i feel even worse about it all and even more anxious, which makes me do it more. :/

Hi Xra,

I'm sorry to hear about what you've been going through. Please know that you're not alone.

While biting nails may be a destructive behavior depending on how serious it is, the way your family has approached it seems to be exacerbating it. It sounds like your family shames you for doing this, which may be making you do it more, or feel more secretive or shameful about it. But feeling shameful about it or wanting to hide it is not really going to address the situation or make you feel comfortable enough to work towards a healthier substitute.

It sounds like your sister is constantly criticizing you, and not in a constructive way. It doesn't sound like she necessarily wants you to improve or do what she can to foster a supportive environment in which you feel encouraged to work on improving, rather it sounds like she makes snide comments like that she used to hate you and just overall making you feel insecure. Though your sister may be frustrated with your nail biting, there are far more considerate and helpful ways to address it.

While I don't know the exact extent of your nail biting habits, it's worth considering that biting one's nails is actually extremely common, and though some people may see it as gross, it's mainly just seen as a sign of stress. It's essential to have healthier coping mechanisms in place that provide comfort and help you manage stress and anxiety. Exploring alternative stims or finding calming activities can be helpful in redirecting the need for stimming through nail biting.

It's important to remember that changing a long-standing habit takes time and patience. Instead of focusing on the negative aspects, try to approach this with self-compassion and understanding. Know that you deserve support and encouragement in finding healthier ways to manage your stress and emotions.

If you feel comfortable, you may want to discuss your concerns with a therapist who specializes in autism or anxiety. They can provide guidance and strategies specific to your needs. Additionally, seeking out online communities or support groups for individuals with similar experiences might be beneficial. Connecting with others who understand what you're going through can provide a sense of validation and support.

Please know that you are not defined by your nail-biting habit, and it doesn't diminish your worth as a person. Focus on self-care, finding healthy coping mechanisms, and surrounding yourself with understanding and supportive individuals.

I hope I could help. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks #xra #tw abuse #tw emotional abuse

[lunarblazes]

You don't have a respond but since you said you were okay w/ people sending asks...

I think the problem with the dteam comes down to them being immature and a bit egotistical... And it makes sense! When you blow up and have everyone telling you how great you are, it makes sense. I still think Dream makes great videos, and he seems like a good guy, but this is just one of those things. Seeing some of the clips where he says he thinks noxcrew is biased just makes him seem like egotistical, like it really is all about him and not that 10 people dc. Whatever... I think he def needs to work on that.

They absolutely also have to have SOME responsibility with their fans. The fact that they don't discourage this at all, and even fan the flames is kinda what gets me. You can complain and be upset, whatever, but when you do you're aware that people are going to get attacked to 'defend' you, right???? Idk, if I heard ANYONE was getting called slurs even somewhat on my behalf I'd say something immediately. I DOUBT they don't know, and I get that it's scary, but it just... It just seems supremely shitty to me. And it does look bad when they're proper adults especially.

It's so easy to keep your opinions to yourself until you're in private.... You can complain and vent to your friends when people won't get harassed as a result.

Plus the only thing that made this hilarious for me was the fact that Wilbur was absolutely miserable and in distress for this happening and it was amazing. Dream? Scott? Noxcrew??? Nah, I just saw Wilbur stuck in his own personal hell. GG tho good luck with that

The fact that Minecraft Monday had ACTUAL money on the line and people take this more seriously..... It's sad but just so so funny. People are so out of touch.

The worst part about big fandoms, or stans, like Dream's is that even if they and his friends need to hear this criticism they won't bc everything negative is taken as an anti who is awful.... I think Scott and Noxcrew definitely should have some sort of intervention. They have the right to when they're literally being called slurs.... It's ridiculous that it's gotten to the point where Scott acknowledged it would happen no matter what he did. Just really sad.

But yeah. Bottom line, the dteam make good content, but they NEED to grow up and mature before it completely ruins everything... This is one of those cases where all of the attention has made them worse, I think. In comparison, it's so easy to be mature about these things. Ccs are upset with the decisions, but they shut the hell up and move on bc it's just a game and they're meant to be having fun. Wilbur was genuinely distressed when they said they'd be doing ace race again, but he didn't say anything after complaining in the game chat once.

And if dteam doesn't see how complaining about all this is fanning the flames.... Yikes. Yeah, they should be able to talk about whatever and for it to be fine, but it's not. So they shouldn't. Their fans, or at least some of them, will take it too far so it's their responsibility to negate that. I often think of streaming as babysitting or teaching, bc that's really what it feels like sometimes. Chats gets put in time out, literally, it's pretty funny when you think about it. But dteam have rarely, to my knowledge, ever even really 'disciplined' any part of their fanbase seriously. Which sounds ridiculous, but it's true. I've been watching Ranboo for awhile and I remember him having to work on making his chat respectful and everything, and even then it's not perfect! But at least he did something!

Just the very clear difference between literally all of the other ccs involved and dteam says enough, I think. Either everyone needs an MCC timeout (which they'd probably blame on Scott and Noxcrew 'having it out' for dream as well) or they need a dteam MCC timeout if they don't shape up. I've watched mcyt for awhile, actually watched mccs not as long, but I never saw this much drama about mcc before dream and sapnap starting shit talking the event. They literally command an army and don't even realize. When you have that much influence.... Everything you say matters.

Anyway someone should bring back Minecraft Mondays I'd probably cry laughing, and it would remind me of the old days :')

If you read all of this.... I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I usually don't do this lol

anon ur based and ur totally okay! safe space, safe nice discourse area with the little bumper teacups set up for u all. handing u a nice gumball if u would like one. i saw someone tweet “we need them” with a picture of the silver shittalkers team and i was like. oh cool so we’re being completely devoid of self awareness now i see how it is

#discourse #lunar wishes

[imamotherfuckingstar-lord]

What do you think about (in fics) the whole having sex without dating like not talking about the relationship or about if it’s a fwb situation etc thing? I’ve read a few where they’re friends and they have sex and it’s like what are they I need details 😭 they don’t talk about it and it’s crazy to me. Irl I either have one night stands or I date (I’ve tried friends with benefits and it’s not my thing) so it’s wild to me that the relationship isn’t talked abt by the ppl having sex lmfao like that’s crazy I’d be stressed tf out what do you mean they haven’t communicated what they are I’m going insane! Also I hate those fics where they’re friends then one of them fucks someone else and it leads to feelings being revealed and they get together like 😂 damn that’s crazy you have feelings for me and still had sex with someone else…but that’s just me! I guess I’m very? particular (for lack of a better term) with my relationships and who I have sex with but I also wonder how much life experience some fic writers have. Also I saw that one post of yours about Eddie being a virgin and I agree…I’ve noticed a lot of people making the reader be a virgin and Eddie’s experienced and that just pisses me off tbh like ok write whatever I respect that but damn 💀 can we just be a whore this time and not some innocent little thing 😂 and he’s some 20 year old guy too not a professional dom or whatever I’ve seen those too 🙄🫢 anyway this has been a vent bc I would sound crazy talking to anyone else abt this 😭😂

No, I totally understand wanting to be able to at least define what kind of relationship your in - be with FWB or one night stand. I know in movies, shows, fics etc there is a lot of just hooking up on the fly - but in my personal experience (I’m pretty experience, not bragging just stating facts) I’ve never just hooked up with a friend out of nowhere. I have had one night hook ups and have been FWB with two people before - but there had been things leading to that point. Flirtation, talking, etc. I’ve never really dated someone, mostly hooked up until I met my husband. It does seem kinda crazy to just fuck your friend but most cases, I think there is a build up. When I write fics, I try to make that build up apparent but I’m pretty sure I’ve been guilty of just having characters randomly hook up but there’s always a conversation afterwards. I don’t think the real work works like that fully. When it comes to not realizing your feelings and hooking up with someone else, only to realize said feelings - not a fan of that in writing either. I get it though for plot reasons, but I think there are better ways to convey that.

Now when it comes to Eddie being a virgin. Originally post is here - wasn’t my OG post, just added my opinion. I don’t think there is anything wrong with being a virgin. Having truly know an Eddie in high school, I was completely in love with my friend Jeremy who was a metal head - Megadeth was his band, I can truly believe Eddie was a virgin. Maybe he got to second base, but no home run for him. My friend Jeremy, we had this thing going on for years and I ended up taking his virginity. Before that he was a total dud with girls. He was also a 19 year old kid. So it makes sense.

Lastly, I love venting! Thank you!

#anon ask #Eddie Munson is a virgin

[kingkatsuki]

Sorry to bother you...this is really weird, i dont even know why i am doing this, and you should ignore this but i feel like shit. Yeah, i am venting to someone i dont know, as i said, you should delete this and ignore it bcs this has nothing to do with you, but if you want to read it go ahead.

So...i had an exam and a part of the exam is writting an argumentative essay on a specific subject and create a way to solve it while respecting the human rights, max 30 lines. I live in Brazil so i dunno if you that in your home country, but we do it here and its a very important subject. We do an exam of 100 questions (History, Math, Portuguese etc) and you can get up to 1000 points on it, the essay part of the exam is also worth 1000 points, so you can see how important it is. I spend all my time doing it basically, and when i was done with it i had about 15 minutes to do the rest, so i think you can see where this ended. Another part of my exam is that we have a thing called awnser card, we mark question from A to E on the exam and then we have to mark it back on the awnser card. The awnser card is what matters, the exam where the questions are is just there to present the questions and keep track of what letter we marked. Ok, back to the shit show of i only had 15 minutes to compleate a 100 questions exam AND mark it back on the awnser card. I was only able to fully awnser 5 subjects fully, that being, Portuguese (Brazilians dont speak spanish, not saying you think we do but it is a very annoying stereotype), English, Math, History and Geography, the rest (7 in total) i had to mark it at random bcs the staff was pressuring me to ended it already, since the exam was done already. Among the pressure of it all i ended up marking all of my Math questions wrong on the awnser card. So that was great.

I just feel like a failure right now and my family does not understand boundaries it seems. I asked many times to be left alone since i was pissed, sad and tired but they dont get the message. My mom keep trying to cheer me up (something that does not work with me) and is kicking the bed i am right now and its driving me insane, she is on the hammock and she needs impulse to move it and she wants to be around me. My grandma keeps cuddling, kissing me, overall babying me and showering me with attention i dont want right now. I get they dont have any ill intensions but...please leave me alone, i already said that to them. I verbalized it. Like, i dont want to scream at them but please respect me when i want to be left alone, is it really hard to do that?

I feel like shit. I feel like a failure. My grades for this exam are destroyed and i dont even know if doing the essay was worth it since i dont know if it went well yet.

Sorry for ranting and dumping you with information you never asked nor needed, but i am way to ashamed to tell what happened to my friends. I dont want them pitying me, thinking i am weak and thinking "Oh, what a dumb boy" or something along those lines. Guess that's why i like Bakugou so much, we have the same inflated pride it seems. For my family they just dont know how to deal with my feelings. Sorry again, i am not expecting you to awnser and dont feel guilty to delete this.

Hihihi!

I’m sorry that your exam went badly! It sounds like so much fucking work in such a short space of time it’s a wonder how anyone can even complete all of that?! I think you’ll probably be feeling like this for a little while after because I know how hard it is when you feel like you’ve failed or not done your best, especially when you know deep inside you’re capable of it.

I think your family mean well, and their hearts are definitely in the right place. The fact that they’re trying their best to cheer you up after it shows that- and I think that even though it’s something you don’t want right now that you can hopefully understand where they’re coming from? It’s 100% a place of love, but I know what it’s like when you feel like somethings just gone shit. I mean after my interview the other day I sat in my room crying and eating chicken nuggets so😅😂

You’ll bounce back from this, even though things feel shit right now. Exams aren’t everything in life, and there are always more opportunities. I think this can be a learning curve for the next time? Like it’s happened, it was shit but that doesn’t mean it’s gotta be shit again right? Just keep your head up!! And you’ve still got time to hear back for the grade for the essay so that’s another thing that you can look towards!

I, and my others, definitely know how you’re feeling right now. It can be such a hard thing to share with our friends or loved ones about the times that we failed or didn’t do as well as we’d hoped— Even for just the smallest things! So I can understand why you wouldn’t want to tell your friends, but I know it isn’t my decision but I think sometimes it might be worth confiding in them?

I think Bakugou would tell you that too, and he’d probably want to give you your own space but would be much like your family in wanting to cheer you up. I think he’d purposely make a stop on the way home to get your favourite treats, or even just takeout from your favourite place. He won’t make you talk about it, he won’t ask questions but he’d just be there for you💕

Things will be okay, Anon!💕

#long post #jo talks

[larksandkatycryptids]

one thing is that it does take awhile to get back in the swing of blogging— and I do mean to find out if that’s something I still want to do? or rather, in what capacity. I think what always has made it magic for me is the sense of talking to the void and an idea of having a place that I could visually manipulate that also functions as a vent and express space. the conjunction of why and when I stopped blogging happened at a time prior to even understanding a lot of big heavy things about my health/body. which doesn’t sound connected, but when rereading old blogs and diaries— so much is physical and so much is symptoms. I am in the lovely position of knowing so much more now! and it is glorious. but even before knowing more I think realized I had better keep quiet— like. I stopped posting in the lupus tag bc it just didn’t seem like my experiences gelled. which makes a lot of sense, tbh (again, the rheum that was rudely blunt about it not being lupus causing my pain and me refusing to accept he could be right and insisting he was just gaslighting me! oops!). but anyway! most of what I would talk about to myself isn’t as much of a conversation. and I will always struggle with how to best communicate with family and otherwise interpersonally, I just don’t think it’s as big an issue since having renegotiated most of those older relationships and boundaries. so what else do I share besides pet photos— and how do I get back into the habit of trying to use this space like I always used tumblr; that convex space that can hold the void as well as connection. 🥸

anyway— I guess in analyzing how I formerly used these types of spaces, I’ve realized it was never very interesting, lol. so like. what is it I would value expressing? and how do I practice that because I have been practicing silence and stillness and how a person can benefit from managing reactivity and expression. I got fairly addicted to certain ways of moving even while I kept up with reblogs and stuff. but I’m positively sick of making all of my posts private after two seconds and not allowing myself to have any blog permanence in an effort to keep myself from feeling violated. all of it was futile and tbh so is a new blog. but it’s time to find out what, if anything, I’ve lost. I still love to see all of everyone’s minutiae snd I miss the freedom I created at a different time in my life to do the same, but I can’t figure out if I actually miss doing it for myself. and was it ever something I truly liked or did I want to be like the girls I thought were cool?

like whatever it is, it’s fine. I’m just bored with the hole I’ve dug that is not my grave. or not really bored but like—it’s not mine.

is this death really you?

and do these dreams have any meaning?

lol funny how lyrics creep up on you. but it’s definitely time to find out what kind of expressions interest me in the present. I have loved and needed all my times and spaces and recovery. the self that is able to face the rest of my life is the one I want. but like how does she want to connect and express? there are lots of things I found comfort in that won’t hit the same now. I also am obviously much older which is a gift but also makes a person more aware (generally speaking)

I might not know much— still. but I’m so glad to know me.

also I think they’re so adorable.

[thegirlvictoriasblog]

I met this couple that came in to make some reservations for their family well the wife and I began to talk and she was just lovely. This older lady mybe in her late 60s well she came back a few days later panicked she forgot she made the reservations with me and was so worried about her husband she mention how upset he was with her and she said she couldn’t do anything right I had to stop her and remind her YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU PUT UR MIND TO DONT LET ANYONE TELL U OTHERWISE! I felt bad for her, I could only imagine the things he told her I had to calm her down bc she was giving me anxiety. I told her to take some deep breaths and we would figure this out. She just forgot that was all but we did everything right. She was here with me for about a good 30 mins she said she didn’t want to go home just yet her husband was upset with her and she rather not be home just yet so she continued venting and talking she has no children witch blew my mind. After I calmed her down I told her to come back the next day so we can finish our reservations, and she did. Today she was more calmer then the other day,thank god. She’s excited for her 1 friend to come down and visit she said the only friend she has really since she doesn’t have kids. She then started talking about her past how she regretted some things, I just stood Their listening I could tell she had so much on her chest. Plus I didn’t mind I wanted her to get all of that out of her system. She then continued to say how she doesn’t own anything anymore and everything is under her husbands name and how she doesn’t feel like she can do anything for herself. How she hates this town and she missed where she lived, she lived in Mexico and she loved it but her husband couldn’t handle the hot weather so they had to move. This poor elderly lady feeling all these emotions and her husband doesn’t seem to help looks like he gaslights her! And verbally abuses her, I’m certain 99.1 chance I’m right.. well we finish our reservations and she was so thankful for my help I then gave her my personal number she then goes “ what did I do to deserve this” i told her to reach out whenever she wanted if she ever needed anything or someone to talk too! I don’t have much of a life going on and mybe we can do a lunch date sometime. She smiled and I hugged her she hugged me back genuinely I felt it. All these emotions she made me feel when she was worried about her husband upset and how she didn’t want to go home and well basically telling me she’s not that happy in her life.. Another thing when I met her she was with her husband and this weirdo gives me a compliment about my makeup telling me it was nice and he remembers me I didn’t feel awkward till she says “ I can’t do makeup I’m not young anymore” I didn’t want her to second guess herself she’s a beautiful lady! anyways I couldn’t help but to remember how I use to feel when my ex would get upset with me over the silliest things and I use to react how she did. I remember for the longest time I really did think I was “ dumb & stupid” he would constantly tell me I started to believe it. I know how crazy that sounds but it’s the truth it just sucked watching her feel those emotions chase I know how it feels and it’s a ugly feeling.. I hope she does reach out I would love to go have some lunch with her and get to know her better, where she grew up how her childhood was like. She said she has no family and I can only imagine life being lonely, I would like to remind her how beautiful life can be and it’s never to late, but I know it’s hard especially when you have someone constantly controlling you and just killing your spirit.. I know this was super long but I just had to share cause we never know what others are going thru even when they put a big smile on their face.. if you guys do read this thank you in advance!!

#love yourself #mentalheathawareness #age is just a number #on my mind #long reads #first blog

[moemammon]

When I was in High School, my crush and I got into a fight and neither of us were talking to each other. One day I was headed up the stairwell to get to my science class, when I saw them coming up from behind... I don't think they had even noticed me yet considering that they were busy talking to their friend BUT I am slow going up stairs so even if I rushed up the stairs roadrunner style they would have caught up to me, well; the little corner that connects the steps going up to the second floor and the steps heading down to the ground floor had a large open window... and I jumped out, like I literally just jumped out. I didn't even think it through, I just saw the window and my body was like "Yep, IK what to do." I landed on a bush or tree? It's too big to call a bush but too small to call a tree, landed in a squat before my feet gave out and I fall onto my knees and got two large grass stains on my jeans knee part, couldn't walk right either after that landing, I was shaky all day lol but it was a risk well calculated bc the whole thing would have been so awkward. I mean we used to be like BFFS before the rumors began and then they started and we just stopped talking without warning, we couldn't even look at each other. Our science partners, bc we were in groups of four, literally got fed up of our bullshit bc we literally refused to acknowledge the others existence... anyway, I digress...

Anyway, this whole story is a long winded way of me requesting how the brothers would react to an MC that literally just jumps out windows to avoid awkward moments, or to dodge people that want to ask them for favors, or when they straight up want to avoid someone?

And sorry about the large ass message, but thanks for letting me vent

You have a special place in my heart, window-jumping anon. Just uhhhhhhh look down next time okay? Ily

The Demon Brothers react to GN!MC jumping out of a window to avoid an awkward moment

(Mario jumping sound effect)

Lucifer

He approached you after class to ask exactly what you were snickering at your D.D.D. about during class.

Must've been real funny if you weren't listening to your lecture, huh?

"I imagine you've somehow found something worthy of laughing about in Demonology 101?"

You do not have the guts to tell him that you and Mammon were texting back and forth, abusing a new photo editing app to alter pictures of the eldest himself.

I mean, take a wild guess about how he’d react to seeing how big you edited his head to be-

The avatar of pride lets his eyes pierce into you, like he's trying to stare a hole through your blanket of "uh"s and "um"s,

You don't exactly see a way out of this one, but you can NOT let Lucifer see your photo gallery.

So you glance to your left to the open classroom window, and do the only thing you can think of: you jump.

Luckily you're on the ground floor so you??? really didn't have to jump so dramatically. But the fact that you yeeted yourself into a bush JUST to escape has left Lucifer speechless.

Honestly? He so impressed with your dedication that he's not gonna stop you. Besides, he's gonna see you back at home anyway so-

Also thinks you might be hanging around Mammon too much because that 100% seems like a stunt he’d pull.

Mammon

GIVE GOLDIE BACK RIGHT NOW

He KNOWS Lucifer told you to bring the credit card to him, and he demands to know where it's hidden! He's positive you know where it is!

But you don't really though?? You just brought the card to him like you were asked. If anything, you're the victim here!

But Mammon isn't having that. The avatar of greed is circling around you like an angry cat, patting you all over like airport security to see if you've got his beloved card.

"Where is it, huh?! Ya really think you can steal from THE Mammon?! Even if Lucifer told ya to, who do ya think you are?!"

When he has confirmed that you don't in fact have his previous Goldie, he's now cornering you up against a wall.

If looks could kill, you would've exploded into a fine powder

And you feel like your mental strength is about to do just that. So what do you do after you notices the slightest of breezes caress your face?

You jump outta that open window, before Mammon can even finish his "Wh- Oi! What're ya-"

Even though you just face planted into the garden, you're up on your feet and making a mad dash for somewhere that wasn't here.

Mammon lets you run for ten while seconds before he's hopping out after you. You think you can outfox the Great Mammon?! Think again!!!

Levi

You... weren't interested in this movie in the slightest, but you didn't have the heart to tell Levi that. Especially not after he’d begged/harassed you for the past week about watching it with him!

Reluctantly you agreed, and now you were suffering,,,But Levi was ecstatic! This movie was a classic! Sure it was an old one and the acting was a little bad, but you could overlook that if you watched it with your heart, not your eyes!

According to Levi.

You managed to keep your eyes open for the grueling one and a half hour movie, enduring every corny line of bad acting, horrible CGI, and lame sound effects straight out of a 90s super hero movie, and now the hell was finally over...

Or so you though, until Levi followed that up by immediately pulling out a cosplay outfit worn by one of the supporting characters in the show.

Funny how it seemed specifically tailored to your measurements. Even funnier how Levi was looking at you with those damned eyes.

You knew what he wanted without him even having to say it. But one look at the gaudy outfit he presented to you made your heart burn with a sudden indescribable urge.... to escape.

Honestly you caught him so off guard by suddenly getting up and sprinting out of the room, that he makes a sound that's pretty much the noise equivalent of "?!?!?!?!?!?"

He watches you run down to the end of the hall, throw the window open, and fuckin JUMP. Pretty sure he just witnessed your death??

Also this kinda solidified his 'gross otaku' mentality, seeing as you literally jumped out of a window to get out of cosplaying with him. A simple no would've sufficed, MC.......,.,,..,,,

Hey gamers... can we get an F in the chat? 😔✌️💦

Satan

Satan lent you a book to read last week that he was sure you'd be interested in! He found it pretty interesting himself, so he wants to see if you'd like it as much as he did.

That being said, you don't have the heart to tell him that you,,, didn't read any of it. Well you kind of did, if the cover counts for anything.

You doubt he would accept that as an answer, considering how you told him how much you appreciated receiving the book, and how you'd definitely read it and let him know how it was.

So now, Satan had come into your room with two cups of tea, ready to settle down and have a nice, long talk about your thoughts on the riveting plot that you promised you would indulge in.

"I'm really glad you decided to read it. I found that the protagonist reminded me a lot like you. I'd like to know what you thought about it."

Satan sets down the tea cups, and one sip tells you that he brewed it exactly the way you like.

His expression is eager and warm as he waits for you to begin gushing about just how deeply the story touched you... how absolutely moved you are by the sheer majesty that was the book he lent you...

Okay yeah, you're sweating bullets. You can't imagine how the sparkly eyed avatar of wrath would react to learning that you chose the company of your D.D.D. over Satan's book.

You don't have such an ice cold hard that you can just crush this book nerds dreams like that! And every time you look at his expectant face, the weight of your crimes weigh heavier on you until... you break.

Satan watches in shock and awe as you almost perfectly reenact the big scene where the main character leaps out of the window of a building rigged to explode, before making their escape. And you did just that.

Wow.. he never thought you could be so moved by a story, but he completely understands...

Asmo

How many outfits, Asmo. HOW MANY OUTFTITS WILL IT TAKE TO APPEASE YOU?

He's made you model TWELVE outfits so far, and you swear if you see another ascot, you're gonna lose your mind.

Asmodeus doesn't seem to notice the way the light slowly fades from your eyes, because he's pulling out outfit number thirteen with that cheery smile of his.

"Isn't this one absolutely adorable? Look, this part will look lovely around your waist! This part here hugs your body in all the right places, and this-"

You can't do it. You've gotta get out of here. You'd love to stand around and get mild rug burn from trying on a billion different clothes, but-

Actually no you wouldn't.

You DID promise Asmo you'd hang out with him today, but this wasn't really your idea of a good time.

"-Oooh, just thinking about it makes me want to eat you up~! Here, put it on for me, will you? I'll give you a kiss as a reward!"

You would do no such thing.

You make a mad dash for his ornate window and push it open. He has no time to stop you as he helplessly watches you vault yourself out like the room was on fire.

"MC?! Wh-where are you going?? Come back here! Grass stains are impossible to get out of that fabric!!!"

Beel

He means well. I swear he does. It's just that Beel can be a little... overbearing when he's worried about you. He cares, okay?

But he hasn't seen you eat anything all day! You tell him it's because you've got a stomach ache from who knows what, and you promise you've had little snacks here and there to keep from starving, but he can't accept that!

Eating is important, and you need it to survive. So Beelzebub was currently trying to nudge your mouth open with a pizza slice, while you vehemently refused. "Just one bite. And then another after that. You have to eat, or you'll go hungry... and I don't want that."

Beel knows the true pain of being hungry, and he’d never wish that on you! So just forget about your stomach ache for two seconds and open up-

Not that you really can. The aroma of that pizza was not sitting well on your stomach, and you were pretty sure you needed a fast escape or you'd risk losing your lunch. Greasy foods didn't exactly mix well with sour stomachs...

Beel still won't let up. He has a strong hand planted firmly on the small of your back, as if trying to prevent you from leaning back any further in your attempt to escape the pizza.

"If you eat this, I'll treat you to dessert at Madam Screams," he says, as if bribing your refusal of food USING food will somehow work out.

You can't break his heart, but you seriously can't eat that! Your head is spinning, thoughts racing, face becoming greasier and greasier from the pizza pressed against it, and-

You snap. In a sudden burst of strength you break free from Beel's grasp, and sprint toward the nearest window. All you see is your chance for freedom, and you're taking it.

You leap out and tumble into the ground, all while Beelzebub wonders what?? Just happened???? Did you really hate pizza that much...?

He never knew you were such a picky eater... To think you'd go so far as to jump out of the window though...

Belphie

You thought it was cute at first, when Belphegor wanted you to join him for his naps. And you didn't mind much. It was the weekend, you were tired, and he makes a pretty good body pillow.

But you didn't realize he planned for this to become an everyday thing. The youngest might not act it, but he sure could be spoiled.

But seriously, if you slept any longer, you might never have a normal sleep schedule again! It never occurred to you just how often Belphie sleeps.

He's definitely not human, because there's no way you can keep up with that, and maintain a normal lifestyle.

But the way he quietly, gently grabs your sleeve to cue your next nap session makes your heart clench. Why was it so damned hard to say no to this gremlin??

You were trying your best though, but the words always seemed to get caught in your throat. Belphie picked apart your excuses, doing everything in his power to take you back to the attic.

"You can study when you wake up." "Mammon wants to go shopping? Reschedule." "Lucifer told you not to be late to the board meeting? Just hide."

You're starting to get sucked into the sleepy lull of his voice, and it feels like your entire body is becoming heavy with fatigue. But no.... you resist!

Since there's no escaping this through words, you have to think fast. Fortunately, your fast thinking has led to an amazing solution!

Jump out of the window, baby

Belphie is just??? Did you fuckin???? Are your legs okay??????????????

He probably stops asking you to nap with him for a while, since you're willing to almost break your legs just to get out of it. You're gonna make him have weird dreams....

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me mammon #shall we date obey me #obey me beel #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #mammon #obey me belphie #obey me! #obey me! levi #obey me! satan #obey me! belphegor #obey me lucifer #obey me levi #obey me satan #obey me Asmo #obey me asmodeus #obey me! shall we date? #shall we date? #shall we date #shall we date? obey me! #shall we date om #om swd #om shall we date #obey me! beelzebub #obey me mc #list

[pinkmirth]

can i req some dad reiner fluff? i feel like he would have a lot of kids bc of the breeding kink 🥴 but yeah just some cute stuff pls thank uuuu!!

THE THOUGHT OF REINER BEING FATHER JUST DOES SOMETHING TO ME I- AJHSJS

THANK YOU SM FOR REQUESTING, ANON!! LET'S GET CAUGHT UP IN THE REINER BRAINROT TOGETHER <3

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—DAD REINER!

 (MODERN AU + MENTIONS OF PREGNANCY + FEMALE BODIED READER + FLUFF + SLIGHTLY SUGGESTIVE + REINER BEING THE BEST DAD EVER DUH + TW: SLIGHT LANGUAGE)

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Dad Reiner who was such a hot mess moments before he became a father to begin with. The pair of you are situated inside a hospital room, occupied with things much bigger than a sprained ankle. He stood alongside you, his beloved, all the while; Encouraging your efforts and attempting to ease your pain with the squeeze of your hand within his bigger one. As fretful as he feels, it's no surprise that Reiner ends up passing out a good few times, and he wasn't even the one in labor. Though, the hard part is now over, and all his worry has subsided.

Dad Reiner who recalls whimpering, weakly grinning, and eventually bawling of joy when holding his child for the first time. You'd never seen his cries mingled with such joy before. He cradles yours and his newborn within firm forearms and large, mindful hands. The pair of you sob and smile, ogle your baby with a relieved, content thrum in your heart. You allow Reiner to attempt squeezing into the hospital bed beside you, as broad and weighty as he is, with your child being held right between you and him. He’s a hot mess, but an overjoyed one who has you; and little Reiner x [Y/N] junior 🥺

Dad Reiner who converses with you for days before ultimately deciding on a name for yours and his daughter— Joyce Braun. He contemplated on “Karina”, the name of his dear mother. Though, he wants his little girl to be better than any past generation, and rather goes with a more revitalizing name, one that holds a simple, but deep meaning in his perspective. As obvious as it sounds, the name means “Joyful”. That's all he wants; for his kid to be happy in this life, happier than he ever was. Therefore, he bases her name, the root of his dear child’s identity, on cheerfulness.

Dad Reiner who tends to grow somewhat frustrated. Not with you of course, not even with Joyce’s incessant wailing in the early hours of the morning, but with himself. It wasn't as though he did anything wrong, he simply hopes that he won't. Begs himself not to fuck up with this whole “Parent” thing. If it wasn’t clear enough, Reiner wants to be nothing like his own father. He’ll never, ever shoo his child away and disregard them, but instead use those same hands to hold, guide, and lift them up. It doesn't take long for the blonde to snap out of his funk, because he's sure that he can become all the better for the sake of his little family.

Dad Reiner who wakes to your still, ethereal-like form every morning, and it's enough to make his day. A kiss to your neck, a nibble along your earlobe, and a couple repetitive rubs to your waist and thighs are enough to stir you right awake. And if that isn't the case, then it's usually the other way around; You pressing soft, lengthy kisses to his sharp, attractive cheekbones. Despite who arises first, there’s always one thing that's bound to happen— Joyce making her arrival into the bedroom via crawl, with a babble and a cute, happy little shriek upon seeing her parents.

The pair of you have no clue as to how she manages to make her way over to your room every time, but you're simply glad that she does so safely. It's Reiner’s cue to leap out of bed and scoop her off of the carpet and into his awaiting arms, clad in nothing but a white tee and the baggiest sweats. He appears disheveled, but it's still clear to see the main striking similarity between him and his pretty little daughter; Those amber brown eyes that hold the same warm, yellowish hue as his do.

He rocks the giggling one-year old, back and forth and right back again, gazing upon his squirming bundle of joy until you mention that he’s been doing so for a whole ten minutes. He grows sheepish and merely chuckles in reply, resting Joyce’s head upon his firm chest with a sigh. He could do this for ten hours more if it were up to him.

Dad Reiner who knocked you up a couple more times, and real damn good at that. There’s something of a breeding fetish that he’s got on him, which is the reason why your little family is now two kids larger. There’s Joyce, who’s now seven years old, along with her two baby brothers, the pair being a mere one year apart from the other. You and Reiner no longer have to worry about checking on Joyce in her crib, for she sleeps on her own bed now, like the “big girl” she claims to be.

Though, the boys now have you both occupied, and you’re lucky to have an older daughter who’s so understanding and rarely ever  grows jealous. Joyce, your girl who’s on more of the rambunctious side but ironically never pleads for attention, has been spending much more quality time with Reiner. Both you and him are busy with the boys, but the blonde tends to have free time on his hands every now and then. Besides, someone’s got to keep Joyce company.

Reiner happily obliges, and makes this father-daughter time worthwhile. Wholesome picnics to the park that always end in races back to the car and Reiner being a damned klutz and dropping his sandwich. Having a “spa day”, filled with Reiner’s not-so-great attempts at doing his girl’s hair, messy manicures and a hefty bag of makeup that Joyce “borrowed” from you. He spoils the girl as if the lot of you are rich (and since Reiner’s always got a hefty load of spare cash, you technically are), but he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Dad Reiner who’s a lot more used to this “dad” thing now, since it’s been a couple good years down the line. You and him have amazing bonds with each of your kids, but they seem to latch onto Reiner’s large, broad body at any given time a lot more than they do you. Joyce is twelve, the brothers are five and six, and Reiner’s officially a DILF— The finest one at that. His stubble stays nicely trimmed, along with the subtle creases at his eyes becoming a little more distinctive. Goes to work, and sometimes takes the kid’s lunches instead of his own, because that's just the Reiner Way.

He’s the ultimate father in practically every situation, even when looking out for peers and comrades. He doesn’t mean to, it’s just that habits easily stick with Reiner, and it’s rather difficult for him to let them go. Besides, with three kids, how do you expect him to not be in “dad mode”?

Dad Reiner who utterly loves having random little talks with his kids, and never invalidates them, not for one second. It’s almost as though he can see things in their perspective, and they don’t know anyone else better to vent to other than their dad and mom. Though, when they tend to babble on about something that’s rather popular within their generation, it gets hard for him to catch up. They proceed to call him “old” and receive a good chase around the house before they get caught and looped into a tickle attack, and that's basically the worst thing imaginable if you’re in the Braun family. The reason being is Reiner’s unparalleled speed, despite his age; Thirties to early forties, but he’s still extremely fit, and has no problem running a mile if he has to.

Dad Reiner who’s in love with his family and the person they’ve gradually helped him become. You cherish him and your kids like none other, and he does the same. Sometimes it abruptly dawns on him; He’s a dad, and he’s actually a good one, who would’ve known? He smiles to himself, allowing his amber eyes to flit over to wherever you are before his soft grin grows wider. You look back, blow a kiss, and he does the same. The action is exchanged before he strides over to give you the real deal— Though, your sweet little peck is all cut short when Joyce and the boys skip in and start making kissy noises, with you and Reiner laughing all the while.

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“Papa,” Gale, the youngest son of the bunch, calls aloud and gains his father’s attention. Reiner peers up from his book and gives a brief, questioning response. “Yes, dove?” It’s a simple, sweet nickname; One that he calls you, Joyce, and the boys.

“Mommy’s in the bathroom crying.” The blonde drops his novel with an punctuating hitch of his breath, the book falling upon the couch with a dull thump. “—Why? Is she alright?” Reiner, the man who generally keeps himself rather poised, is now frantic, sharp brows downturned at his son's statement.

“Uh, I dunno. She’s crying, but smiling too.” This then causes Reiner’s brows to furrow. “Smiling, you say?”

“Yeah. Can we go out to get ice cream today? I wanna get, uh.. Chocolate chip, please!”

Reiner lets a brief laugh slip loose at Gale’s query, but he has to prioritize his wife over a summertime snack. He then begins to make a beeline towards the bathroom, in search of you. “Soon enough, dove. I’ve got to go up there and check on your momma first, alright—?”

Gale then shrugs and hops onto the couch, little feet padding along the spacey seat as the leather creases underneath his weight.

“By the way, Papa,” Reiner then pauses, open to any vital information his son could give, “she has this funny stick thingy in her hand. It’s got two little lines on it and stuff.”

Reiner chokes on his breath, lower lip beginning to tremble and quirk into a smile. If the case is what he thinks it is, he’s got all the reason to bust out with the teary eyes and jovial whimpers, just as he did when receiving the news of his three expected children in the past.

“A stick..?”

“Mhm,” hums Gale, proceeding to jump upon the dark brown couch, “Mama probably wants some chocolate chip ice cream too.”

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#Reiner brain rot #dad!reiner #reiner brainrot #Reiner x reader #Reiner Braun brain rot #Reiner Braun x reader #Reiner x female reader #Reiner Braun x female reader #aot #and #shingeki #attack on Titan #shingeki no kyojin #harmoni writes #harmoni loves Reiner #Reiner aot #Reiner attack on Titan #Reiner snk #aot brainrot #snk brainrot #Reiner drabble #RAINAH #;;🖤.harmoni loves reiner