#because i’m a) indecisive as fuck and b)
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NIGHTLY AFTERCARE; TOJI FUSHIGURO:
a summary of the chapter: it’s a rainy night and toji has just fucked you sore. usually, he grants you simple aftercare — but you want more. you want more; love is all you yearn for.
a synopsis of acts: nervousness, anxiety, nakedness, crying, sniffling, unestablished relationships, the aftermath of sex, a broken past, coldness, forbidden intimacy and potential more.
Sewn with the art of conflict, you stir within the thickness of your brother’s best friend’s grasp — planted in the homeliness of his arms. Arms you know are so painfully forbidden, particularly as you lay so soundly in your strawberry bedsheets — unsure of where to proceed.
Foolishly, you wanted the entirety of Toji’s unavailable heart — solely because he was your unforgiving first. Toji was the man that divulged within the pureness of you, freely stretching you out, capturing your delicate lips, plunging your withering purity with the thickness of his unrestrained cock.
Within your first time experiencing intimacy, he applied himself into expressing gentleness. A gentleness that pushed you into tears, unsure of how someone so emotionally connected could navigate themself into spewing all you wanted to hear.
Toji had all of you, completely at his mercy. At his mercy, your virgin self poetically divulged and deciphered by the prickliness of his nimble fingers. Fingers that strike an addictive pain within you. He had never cast himself into judging you, even with every tear you released when he shoved the girth of his cock into your inexperienced cunt.
“Y/n!” Toji lightly shouts, his fingers slithering around the suppleness of your waist — dancing around your belly piercing.
“T-Toji?” Shoving the meekness of your tone elsewhere, you convert yourself into a deciphered stoicism.
“Something’s up with you,” The bluntness of Toji’s voice stirs you into collecting guilt, unsure of if you wanted to bask in his temporary company.
“What do you mean?” Plastering naivety in your wavering vocals, you push your lips together with trepidation.
“I’m not an idiot, say it,” Wincing at the sly annoyance in Toji’s command, you burrow further within him — your stomach aching with irreversible nausea and guilt.
“I…feel,” Taking a deep breath, steadying your pathetic tears, you lull your wavering emotions, “Like I’m not good enough… for you.” Restricting the air in your lungs, you intake the outflux in Toji’s breathing.
“What do you mean?” Toji questions, aware that he knows where your mind is bound to travel — completely altering the strained dynamics of the two of you.
“I feel like I wasted my virginity sometimes because you don’t love me or want to claim me,” Sniffling, deprived of an aspect of your dignity, you intake Toji’s physique tighten around you.
“I’m your brother’s closest friend, you know damn well he wouldn’t accept me sleeping around with you,” Softly, Toji informs you — plastering a warming kiss upon your forehead.
A kiss that causes a lump to form within your throat, stealing away at your strained sanity.
“B-But, you don’t think of that when you are deep inside of me, teaching me new things,” With your lips trembling, you reveal the truthfulness of your thoughts to an unreadable Toji — your heart aching with an overwhelming pain.
You felt like you couldn’t breathe, move, speak or regather yourself.
“I know that, but do you want more?” Indecisive, Toji’s flat tone grows coerced with emotions.
“Y-Yeah, but you only like me for one thing,” Weeping, you cast yourself into softening your wailing sobs, “If you knew I was a virgin, who has never had a boyfriend, why would you target me?” Pleading for a representative answer, you halt your quivering breaths.
“I like you for more, but it’s impossible for us to work when your brother told me to not go after you,” Becoming emotionally open, aside from his surface level nature, Toji knits himself into informing you of everything you didn’t want to hear.
“We’re old, stop it,” You mutter, your heart aching at Toji denying you because of the sly age gap between the two of you.
“You’re nineteen, going back to university whilst I’m running a billion dollar empire,” Toji’s eyes steer down to greet the suppressed nature of you, as every word of his adorns you with a poisonous venom.
“Then, why sleep with me?” Drawing out of Toji’s grasp, the plumpness of your breasts being adorned with cool air, you gasp as he pulls you back into his chest.
“Because I love you,” Halting at Toji’s announcement, your stomach churns at words you would never expect to flee from his lips.
“So, you take my virginity before taking me on a date and telling me that you like me?” Puffing your cheeks out, you suppress your smile, “You willingly watched me bleed the morning after, bought me plan b, but was scared to admit your feelings, Toji?” Scoffing, you intake the knot that floods his sculpted chest.
“I mean, I’m sorry, but you’re still going back to university soon, even if you do try to get more from me,” Feeling Toji’s cum stain your supple thighs, you drift your embarrassment towards the twinkling stars in the nocturnal sky.
“Your kids are running down my legs, be more serious before we cut this off and I never see you again.” Informing Toji with a stern nature, you listen to the agitated groan that slips from his lips — knowing that all he yearns for is for you to alter yourself for him.
“Okay, I’ll set up a first date for us,” Beaming at Toji’s relentless promise, you steer yourself into finally resonating with his fond heartbeat.
“This is all I’ve wanted to hear from you, but my brother’s for another day.” Muttering, you glimpse the beauty of the framed photograph of the two of you — settled upon your rosy-pink diary.
This is all you wanted, just for Toji to be more revealing and loving during aftercare. For him to tell you that he adores, cherishes and longs for your love and care.
—
do not copy any of my works and simply enjoy it. reblog all you want, but please be respectful of my work. all rights reserved, vampiified, 2024.
#jjk toji#jujutsu kaisen#toji x reader#angst#jjk angst#jjk smut#toji zenin#toji fushiguro#toji smut#toji fluff#toji x you#jujutsu kaisen toji#toji x y/n#jujutsu toji#toji fanfic#toji scenarios#toji imagine
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do you think he’ll think i’m really pretty? // s.s.
pairing: shinichiro sano x baji!reader, ft. little brother baji
wc: 1.6k
synopsis: harmless threats will get to you eventually, but you’ll tolerate it as long as he helps you pick out between silver and gold, and a pair of heels.
tags/cw: fluff, gendered terms used on reader (nee-chan), baji is reader's little brother, cursing, baji/reader dynamic centric, shin appears at the end, mentions of knives but in reference to a meme, reader does her makeup and wears earrings, heels aren't explicitly mentioned i just put it in the synopsis, typos, grammarly lied— let me know if i missed anything!
a/n: im so tired idk what to say LMFAO but i hope you enjoy as much as i enjoyed writing it <3 i adore baji so much and he deserves the world. thank u @thelastoreo for helping me figure out my crisis and @guav your flaco shinichiro MWAH!
m.list 𖥻 tags 𖥻 byi/dni
Tunes were tuning, and you were laser-focused on the mirror, ignoring the indescribable mess sitting on the counter. Keisuke sat on the green step stool he used to brush his teeth, cheek smushed against his fist with a bored expression looming on his features. He couldn't help but roll his eyes every time you groaned in discontent, rubbing with your fingertips at the smudged makeup.
“I can’t believe Shinichiro-nii asked you out,”
You whispered a shut up under your breath, rolled your eyes at him and continued flicking the blending brush against your skin. Despite putting together a nice outfit, a dashing makeup look and picking out a couple of accessories, your inherent indecisiveness when it came to impressing Shinichiro Sano was too much for you to handle on your own.
“He’s too good for you anyway,” He huffed, pouting.
Biting your lip to hide the cheesy smile threatening to grace your features, you ignored his taunt and grabbed both pairs of hoops sitting in front of you. One gold and one silver, you let them dangle on your fingers enjoying the coolness of them both for a bit, before holding them up in front of him.
“He’s so cool and you’re…you— I like the gold ones better.”
The urge to smack the back of his head, overpowering, but you held back. Instead, you agreed with his choice, following him blindly through your wishy-washy decision-making tendencies.
“You know he rides a motorcycle, right?— I like the red one the most—you can’t even get your driver’s licence,”
You went to pick the colour he was referring—or the one you thought he was referring—to, humming along the song under your breath until you felt his hand smack yours. It didn’t hurt, per se, but it did make you flinch in surprise, almost gasping in disbelief. He stood up, hands on his hips, annoyed, a disproving look in his eyes.
“I meant the other red, see? You’re dumb.”
How silly of you, almost as if the lipsticks you had shoved under his nose for him to pick were all varying shades of the same colour, red.
“I’m dumb? You can’t even write your own name, stupid.”
“You didn't— Mom! Nee-chan called me stupid!”
“Shut the fuck— I didn’t! Keisuke’s lying!”
“I’m not! You said— oh, pick that sparkly one.”
All it really took to calm him down was to show him a couple of highlighter options for him to choose from, little fangs poking his bottom lip as he grinned. He’d never admit to it out loud, but even if you didn’t force him to work as moral support, he’d willingly keep you company while you got your makeup done, entranced with the way different products sparkled under the bathroom lights, entranced with the way you seemed to be using your face as a canvas.
He sat back down, legs dangling back and forth. Cute, anyone would think, but the smugness behind those evil-manipulative-child-sized eyes made your blood boil, frowning because you knew, he knew you needed him on your good side, play nice with him for reasons like a) needing his help, and b) if you wanted your mom to let you hang out with the love of your life. And, you knew, he knew, you knew that; he’d be stupid not to exploit this opportunity.
“Where are you guys going anyway?”
“None of your business.”
“Remember that time you broke the tv?” He asked, eyes sparkling as if he didn’t know what he was doing. “you had to use my piggy bank to buy a new one before mom got home, do you think she noticed the colour change?"
“We’re going to a party.” Muttering the answer between gritted teeth, your response made him sparkle with joy. He looked uncannily similar to the smug cat from that one meme.
“What kind of party?”
“Why do you care?”
“I think the pan you threw at me once still has a dent on it.”
Vibing to the music coming out of your phone’s speakers was getting progressively harder, you could almost feel a vein pop out on your temple, you could only take so much teasing without being able to ‘jab back’. Even if you asked him how the hell he got so annoying, he’d probably Uno-reverse-card you, tell you he learned it all from you.
“When are you leaving anyway? I don’t wanna see your ugly face anymore—”
“Keisuke,” you cut him off, making eye contact with him through the mirror; he shuddered. You could handle being threatened with a death sentence, AKA him snitching to your mom, but would not tolerate this little shit (endearingly, and only slightly threatening) calling you ugly. “Rephrase that.”
“Sorry,” he disliked getting scolded, but even he had to admit he might’ve gone just a little too far; breaking the unspoken rule of never mocking each other’s appearances. “I meant, when is Shinichiro-nii getting here? I wanna see him.”
Right after mentioning your beloved his best friend’s brother, the roaring sound of a motorcycle engine broke through the music, catching the both of you off-guard. It was only when it shut down that you looked at each other, making eye contact in a state of despair.
“Grab me a pair of heels while I finish here.”
This time he didn’t try to playfully exploit his role as an executive assistant, instead going straight to your closet and picking a pair of shoes that went the best—or at least good according to a child’s standards—with the outfit you chose, helping you fasten the straps on your ankles as you finished spritzing some setting spray.
He ran out the door, screaming SHIN-NII!!!!!! as if he hadn't seen the older boy in forever, jumping onto his arms and making him lose his balance as the both of them laughed.
“I missed you!” He exclaimed, beaming as Shinichiro ruffled his hair after putting him down. “Can I please sit on your bike?”
Their laughter could be heard from inside the house, and after you let your mom know you were heading out, you were met with the wholesome scene of Keisuke sitting in front of Shin, as the older tried teaching him the correct way to hold onto the hand clutch, how to switch on and off the light, and so on.
You didn't dare intrude on the moment, though announcing your presence wasn't necessary because as soon as you entered your brother’s peripheral field of vision, he called out to you.
“Nee-chan! Look! Shin-nii is teaching me how to ride a bike!”
The sudden intrusion made his companion stumble, trying to stabilise the bike as Keisuke tried to stand on the seat. Still, even after regaining his balance, he fumbled, hard, as soon as he took a moment to take in the sight of you, almost missing the bike when he tried leaning against it, in a very nonchalant, very not Shinichiro, way.
“Hey,” he prays to anything out there that you didn't notice the subtle voice crack that accompanied his words; news flash, you did. “You look really neat, nice, I meant nice.”
“Just nice?” you teased, not letting the opportunity of taking the upper hand go; he was cute while flustered.
“I– no, I meant that I think you’re really pretty.”
“Thanks.” You beamed, soaking in the praise like a cat would roll around in the sun, though trying to keep your cool regardless. After all, You were as weak for him as Shinichiro was for you.
But good things don’t last, because of course he saw the opportunity to tease you back, even if his teasing sucked and left him a bigger flustered mess.
“So you agree?” another one of your boys looked like the smug cat with a knife against his throat. “You think you’re really pretty?”
“I’m never showing you the shit I like again.”
Ah, Shinichiro Sano, to get lost in his eyes was not only the ultimate fantasy but a very plausible reality, that was until Keisuke tugged on your hand, shaking the jar he had taken from the kitchen in what seemed like milliseconds.
“Swear jar,” he prodded. You rolled your eyes, once again basking in Shin’s chuckle as you searched in your purse for some loose change. “You said ‘shit’.”
The clatter of coins filled in the comfortable silence, it seemed to satisfy your brother enough because without any other words he took the jar back inside.
“Shall we go now?” you cocked your head lightly, holding back the urge—how many urges did you need to hold back today, huh?—to kiss him right there and then. “‘Don’t wanna be later than we already are.”
"Sure, but, uh, movie references aside," he joked, running his hand through his dark locks. He grabbed the spare helmet hanging from the handle of his bike and fastened the straps against your neck, the slight touch making your heart flutter. "I do think you look really pretty, all the ti—”
“Wait!”
Neverendless energy giving him what seemed like a boost of speed, Keisuke made his way back to you, side-eyeing Shinichiro—in the oddest fashion possible because this man was something akin to an idol to your little brother—and signaled for you to lower your head to his height, wanting to whisper something in your ear.
“I’m sorry for calling you ugly,” he mumbled, though his whispering voice was still something that needed some tweaks here and there because Shin could hear the message loud and clear. “I think you’re always pretty.”
And after a quick hug, careful enough for you not to tumble over, and an enthusiastic wave, he was gone.
That’s what Keisuke was for, moral support.
“Okay so, this shirt,” he said, raising the hanger a little higher to emphasise his options. “Or this shirt.”
“They’re both white shirts.” Manjiro deadpanned, speaking despite the lollipop poking at his cheek.
Shinichiro rolled his eyes, a groan threatening to leave his throat in discontent. He would’ve asked Emma for help, she’d give him pretty decent advice, but she was hanging out with some friends from school. So Manjiro it was, and he could use all the advice he could get regardless of what, or who, the source of information was; he too, could be indecisive when it came to you.
“They’re not,” He retaliated, pointing at one of the shirt’s sleeves with his eyes. “This one is longer than the other.”
Manjiro sighed, laying completely flat on his brother’s bed as if he had given up on helping the unhelpable.
“I don’t understand why y/n nee-chan said yes to you,” already having the habit of teasing the shit out of his big brother, the jabs that left his lips came out way too flawlessly. But because Manjiro, despite being a little shit, knew his brother was struggling so he decided to go a little softer on him.
“Nee-chan is so cool and,” yeah, going a little softer on Shin would work, he wasn’t heartless after all. “You suck.”
Yeah, Shin should've just begged Emma to stay.
© 2022 SHINACHIRO ; Do not repost my work. Do not recommend my work outside of tumblr. Do not translate my work.
#master collection.#tr collection.#shinichiro x reader#sano shinichiro x reader#shinichiro sano fluff#shinichiro fluff#sano shinichiro x you#shinichiro x you#tr fluff#tr x reader#tokyo revengers x reader#tokrev x reader#tokyo revengers fluff
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Could I request maybe Steve or Billy or JJ (I’m so sorry I’m so indecisive) where you’re at a party and a guy is being strange and invading personal bubble and Steve/Billy/JJ (whichever) steps in and is like jealous but justifiably and is just protective or however you think they’d react?
I’m so sorry and I hope this is okay, this is my first time requesting something and I feel like I’m about to sweat from stress and nerves
Too Close For My Liking Man
JJ Maybank X F!Cameron!Reader
W/C - 1.0K
Summary - Some guy is invading your space and JJ doesn't approve.
Warnings - Angst, fluff, swearing, alcohol use and alcohol + drug mention and that's abt it i think!
You toss around in your bed sheets as you hear booming music over the speakers Rafe set up in the house. Fuck him. You had a test at school tomorrow and you did not need this. Rafe didn't understand, he fails school and Dad still pays him money for motorbike fuel and crack. You fail and he'll disown you. Rafe was so privileged, and you hated it with every bone in your body.
Your phone buzzes on the nightstand, you sigh and turn it on.
Sare-Bear 🐻
Babes, you need to come down here rn. Rafe is going to kill you.
Why?
Your little crush arrived.
Shit. Read 11:23 am
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You put a proper tight dress that you had for any occasion, you weren't about to show up in a baggy T-shirt and worn-out jeans. 'Your little crush arrived.' She meant JJ, a pouge. She was right, Rafe will kill you. As long as you reach JJ before he does. You put on heels and walk out of your room and down the stairs.
"Hey! Hey! Y/N! I was hoping to see you here!" JJ exclaims as he brushes your shoulder with his fingertips. "What the fuck are you doing here?!" You half yell, you grab his wrist and lead him into your bedroom.
"We're already in your room princess? I thought you would've had some drinks first before we got in this position." He smirks. You shake your head and try to not say something back like you usually would. He looks at your bookshelf and scans the books with his fingers. "Answer the question." You mutter out.
"Uh, I'm here because the pouge were having drinks at the chateau, right? Anyway, Kie and Pope went somewhere and John B, I don't even fucking know, but I turned on the TV and started thinking about us!" He explains and you tilt your head ever so slightly at him. "In what way?"
"Well, we flirt, all the fucking time right, so what if we were more." He asks, taking a step closer to you, you were still at the door, fingers crossed no one will come in and ask why you had a man-whore of a pouge in your room. "Uh, two things, one, my dad will kill me, two, Rafe would kill both of us."
"But I just think that you're so pretty and th-""Look, JJ, I really am flattered, but we will never work, you're a pouge, I'm a kook and my parents and sibling will kill my ass." You interrupt him and he nods. He looks so sad; you would do anything just to make this moment never exist. Fuck the test tomorrow you just broke a friendship with someone who meant some much to you and as what he is saying to you makes so much sense to your heart it doesn't as much to your brain.
He steps closer to you and places a kiss on your lips so softly and breaks the kiss. You really wanted more, but you wanted alcohol more now. "Bye, Y/N." JJ mumbles as he leaves. Shit. Shit. Shit. You wish with everything that you could retake those words and never of said them in the first place. You wish that you let him finish his goddamned sentence.
You slowly walk out of your room and down the stairs. You walk into the kitchen and find a bottle of Malibu and slowly pour out shots for yourself until a guy comes around and slowly starts making small talk with you. "So, what are you doing all alone?" He asks you.
"I actually live here for your information." You slur. He smirks at your remarks and cups your elbow. He tries to pull you in, but you push away. "Have you had one to many, princess? I didn't know you lived here." You sigh and push off the counter and try to go to the bathroom, but he stops you and holds your waist.
As soon as he said princess, that's when you wanted nothing to do with him. It reminded you too much of the friend you just lost about thirty minutes prior to when he came around. Fuck, you really couldn't get out of talking to him, could you?
"So, are you dating someone? Or are you mine for the taking?" The guy asks and you nod your head. He was holding your waist hard, too hard. You wanted to disappear and never see him again, but as soon as you try pull away, his grasp on you grows stronger.
"I'm-""Taken. By me, so please, step away, you're standing too close for my liking man." You hear JJ say, the look on the creeps' face as he backs away from you and JJ takes you to your own bedroom. You hug him as soon as the door closes and your press a kiss to his forehead. "Thank you so much, I don't know what I would've done without you." You whisper in his ear. As soon as you back away, your eyes go to his lips and his hands slither around your waist. Your lips hover inches away from each other's as you decide to break the gap and kiss him. Your arms twine around his neck and you giggle as you both break the kiss.
"I think we might just make it after all." You smile
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------A/N - Please request things if you want! I have a couple that I am working on but here is the people that I write for ***
Taglist request here **
@idky5
#jj mayback x reader#jj maybank#jj maybank fanfiction#outer banks#outer banks fluff#outer banks fanfiction#outer banks x reader#outerbanks#rudy pankow#rudy outer banks#obx imagine#obx netflix#obx x reader#obx#jj obx#obx2
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hi! my b if this has been asked before, but can/do any of your ocs have tattoos? would they want them? ik breg probably wouldn’t bc of the needles/pain, but i’m curious abt the others like santi, morell, vesper, livius…? (also i jus wanna say that i LOVE your writing 😭 i stumbled across your account on ao3 and then i made a tumblr because i could not get enough! you’re seriously so talented and everything you write jus has me craving for more.)
Now that you mention it... Yeah, I don't think there's a single character of mine with tattoos, which is a bit strange to me, but curious.
You're entirely correct, Breg is too much of a wuss about needles to ever humor one. Although, if it was a simple tattoo of your name, he would probably agree. The breeder would just have to hold your hand very tightly, and you need to keep his eyes on you the entire time or he will flip and possibly hurt the poor artist trying to work on him. Remember, the space you tattoo becomes dysfunctional when it comes to Breg's skin flickering, so maybe do it with color?
Most of the demons are totally willing to get tattoos with you. Demons are used to marks in general, many have carved and branded things into their own bodies, displaying scars and tattoos alike as sources of immense pride. Some definitely find tattoos attractive in their mates. Concubi like Santi and Vesper are particularly into the idea of you suggesting a design of yours to tattoo onto them. It functions as your own "mark". Obie is also big into tats on others, he's very indecisive about his own body however.
Livius would only humor a tatoo if it's done to match you in some way. He wants it EXACTLY like yours, if it's off even by a little bit, there will be a tantrum. Going to be real here, you could probably suggest Vesper get a tramp stamp saying "King Cumdump" and he'd get it.
Morell generally detests tattoos. We've talked about it before on the blog. He thinks it ruins meat quality, and even if he doesn't plan to eat you, his irrational distaste is still there. He hates it. Putting tattoos on himself is even less appealing, since his body is all spotted. It would looks jarring and weird, and possibly ruin his faint glow.
Another one who doesn't really like tattoos is Krulu. If you must wear a design on your body, let it be his alone. Similarly, Miara would rather you do something suiting her tastes. Or, at the very least, in a variety of colors.
Shags FUCKING LOVES tattoos. It's part of how he makes a living! Selling his ink so it can be treated properly and used for body art, which he himself has dabbled in plenty of times. You want to get a new tattoo? Fuck yes, let him help you with the design, yes? Unfortunately, since he's constantly dripping ink and his body is almost always some degree of mutilated, Shags doesn't really want to tattoo himself.
[Oh my God, you made a Tumblr just for me?!? Ahfhsbfbsf that's so sweet, holy shit. <3 Thenk you lots, I'm very very glad you enjoy my content that much!!!]
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on my way to academic advising appointment and i’m so scared. cause like i am NOT good at being a history major, like it’s the most applicable major to my goals i THINK but i’m not like a lyndon b. johnson nerd if that makes sense?? like i’m interested in history on a lot more of a local and personal level, or at the same time a holistic and universal level?? i would do anthropology if it weren’t for not actually fitting anthropology either and hating their classes worse too. i’m looking at minoring in folklore which is kind of getting there, and i’m interested in the history classes my school has to offer but i just kind of know that i’m doing it wrong. like public history classes in curation and presentation aren’t really the point. history of librarianship is supposed to be supplemental to NORMAL history. i want to major in historical identity. i want to major in how history is preserved and engaged with and identified with or rejected. and that’s what a fucking history major is but it’s just not quite right. and i don’t want to talk to some weird old white man about why i’m looking at latin + folklore + queer visual culture + geographic information systems as potentially being my four classes next semester which are NONE OF THEM HISTORY. if i take history next semester it will be history of technology or history of education. WHICH IS FUCKING HISTORY. i guess i just feel so guilty for not actually being that interested in political economy. and like come ON i’m actually so fucking engaged in the real kind of history too, i’ve been studying immigration history and being so fucking invested. i HAVE OPINIONS about lyndon b johnson (i fucking hate that man like thanks for passing civil rights but that’s a bare minimum and he used it as a way to sneak in the permanent existence of an undocumented labor class of latin americans to uphold capitalism through exploitation and fear. so FUCK YOU LBJ) but anyway the point is the intersection of everything i want to do with my life all branches off of history. but it’s just not really that simple. i’m glad i’m at the school i chose and not in colorado but it sure would be handy to be getting a fucking BACHELOR OF INNOVATION in museum studies and heritage management. instead of just hanging around the in-between, taking the most incredible classes but living in the unfortunate reality where they all count for different, tangentially related fields of study. anyway the stupid advisor man is probably a really good guy. i just feel so embarrassed showing up to his office like “yeah i’m studying history. i don’t know what years were the french revolution” you know???? anyway next semester i’ll be taking a class about public folklore (coolest thing in the world) and third level latin, and then maybe something for science breadth, maybe a history class about education or technology or MAYBE the history of the american west, which just might not be very relevant to me if i stay in the midwest shdhdf like i’m so interested in mexican-american history but i’m centralizing pretty heavily in midwestern migrant experiences which are less studied and more personally relevant, and “the west” is mostly like the gold rush and stuff anyway. which i’m supposed to be INTERESTED IN as a history major but i’m not really!!!! and i might take a class about making websites and databases because i want to, and maybe a class about the history of textiles because that’s so fucking cool. but this isn’t what they WANT from me so i’m really anxious. somebody just looked at me weird for walking out of the women’s restroom and it made me think about how the problem is that my academic interests are nonbinary i’m fucking careerqueer or something AKA indecisive and weird and unemployable. but also the coolest in the world. ANYWAY wish me luck and i got this. but spooky scary!!!!
#vent cw#college talk#THIS IS SO STUPID but i just feel like the academic advisor is gonna hate me….#like it’s FINE this is a bachelor of arts it’s okay to be a weird little humanities kid it’s FINE#i just feel a bit strange. ok appointment in twelve minutes gonna head upstairs wish me luck!!#me. my post. mine.#delete later#long post#PS sorry for being a little strange past few days it’s cause i haven’t been sleeping. will be normal tomorrow if all goes well
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How about another Fortune?
chapter 2: Part 2
work rating: M
chapter rating: T
relationship: John “Soap” MacTavish x Simon “Ghost” Riley (endgame); John “Soap” MacTavish x Original Female Character (temporary)
characters: John “Soap” MacTavish, Simon “Ghost” Riley”, Original Female Character
tags:
ao3 link
part 1
HELL, MIDDLE OF
“Ma, I hardly see how this is any of your business.”
“You’re right, you’re right. It’s just,” her mother bows her head, peering into her empty mug. These conversations, Joan Mitchell found, never got easier. Always fawn-legged statements, always pushed forward with a stick, offered in the same placating voice. “Seven is years is a long time, Ellie.”
“And what’s it matter to you? You’re not getting married to him.”
“By the looks of it, neither are you,” Sarah interjects with the exasperation of someone who’s heard the same shit play out time and time again.
“Fuck, Sarah, leave it out.”
“I’m just saying,” Sarah explains, “Ma’s right for fucking once. If he hasn’t bleedin’ proposed by now, who’s to say he ever will?”
“Well, he’s been very b—“
“busy lately. Yeah, I remember. But won’t he just be getting busier and busier?”
Ella looks away, arms crossed. It’s dead silent in the kitchen, the seconds hand of the clock counting down the heartbeats, the heaving breaths, the indecisions, etc., etc. Eventually Ella speaks up, still boring a hole into a seam on the vinyl floor. “Do you always have to be so fucking negative, Sarah?”
“Well, do you always have to be so naive?” Joan is a smart, prudent woman and has not said a fucking word. “C’mon, Elle. I’m not sayin’ all this to hurt you. Fuck, I say it because I know you’re hurting.”
Joan is a mother, and above all else, gives a damn when her daughters experience first-hand how shit the world can be. She cares because she loves, and also because she’s been there, too. She takes Ella’s hand. “Are you, Elliebelle?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know.”
STAGE PLAY: DREAMSCAPE
SOAP AND GHOST are shackled to one of the four concrete walls that make up what appears to be a prison. Watching over them is a cruel-looking man, the CAPTOR as well as his burly henchman, GRIGORIY. The CAPTOR is speaking to SOAP who, like GHOST, has his head hung low in defeat. The two captives are bruised and beaten, a stark contrast to their well-kempt captors. Standing UC is the CHORUS and NARRATOR, all of whom are unseen by the other named characters.
CAPTOR
Go on, give your Lieutenant a kiss, pretty boy. You want to save him so bad? You love him? Well, go on, then. Kiss him
SOAP
No
NARRATOR
You see, John—or Soap. Whatever you please—says “No,” and he means it, in a way, but not the way you think.
NARRATOR
Right now, his heart his racing
CHORUS
Racing!
NARRATOR
And his stomach feels like it’s swarming with butterflies
CHORUS
BUT-TER-FLIES!
NARRATOR
And you might call it fear, but it is
CHORUS
Antici-PATION
NARRATOR
But yes, also a bit of fear. Because surely, his Lieutenant doesn’t want to kiss him—
CHORUS
Oh nooo!
NARRATOR
Least of all now
CHORUS
Shit timing! Shit timing!
NARRATOR
Well, enough from me. Let’s see how this plays out.
CAPTOR
What?
SOAP
I said no.
CAPTOR
Well, that is a shame, boy. Because now I have to kill him
(the CAPTOR cocks his gun)
GHOST
Fuck!
(ALL turn to look at GHOST, who is shaking his bowed head, resigned to the situation. One member of the CHORUS gasps.)
GHOST (cont.)
Fuck, Johnny. It’s fine. Just fucking kiss me.
(SOAP nods, knowing this is the only way.)
SOAP
Alright, then.
(SOAP crawls slowly across the room until he is at GHOST’S feet, but he pauses)
CAPTOR
Do you not love him, boy? Do you want to see him die? (a beat) Grigoriy, take his mask off.
(GRIGORIY crosses the room in long strides and yanks the mask off GHOST’s head. SOAP startles at the commotion, and is transfixed by the sight before him: GHOST’s bare face—bruised, sweaty, but captivatingly handsome)
SOAP
I’m sorry.
GHOST
It’s okay. Just do it.
(SOAP leans in and presses a ginger kiss, like a child, to GHOST’s lips. GHOST’s eyes are closed the entire time)
NARRATOR
The time, the place—it’s all wrong, but somehow, it feels right!
CHORUS
So right!
NARRATOR
For Soap, at least. Who’s to say how his Lieutenant feels? One thing’s for certain, though. Their captor is not pleased.
(the CAPTOR laughs)
CAPTOR
You call that a kiss? Pathetic. Do it again, like you mean it, or else you both will die.
(SOAP curses under his breath and repositions his arms for better leverage, trying his best to give GHOST space)
CAPTOR
Don’t stop.
CAPTOR (cont.)
Big one, kiss him back. Touch him.
(GHOST acquiesces and the CAPTOR watches on as, unbeknownst to himself or anyone else, the background is transformed from an underground, cement-walled prison cell into a cramped, but cozy officer’s dormitory. GRIGORIY exits SL and as the new set finally slides into place, the CAPTOR follows GRIGORIY offstage)
(SOAP pulls away from the kiss, breathless, and swiftly removes his own—and then GHOST’s—shackles with an almost-frantic excitement)
SOAP
I’ve never felt—
GHOST
Me neither.
SOAP
Fuck, I think I love you. I think I fucking love you.
CHORUS
Throwback! Throwback to Chapter 1!
NARRATOR
Throwback, indeed! How could it be? John MacTavish is once again proclaiming love? In the very same fic but to a very different person?
CHORUS
But isn’t he straight? Isn’t he straight?
NARRATOR
Put not the cart before the horse, my dear friends. Give it a second.
GHOST
You’re out of your mind, MacTavish.
SOAP
Am I?
GHOST
Soap, love isn’t for men like us.
CHORUS
It’s a self-indulgent reference…to another fic!
NARRATOR
Shh!
SOAP
Says who?
GHOST
Does it fucking matter? You know how this goes. You know all the reasons we can’t, so just…
GHOST (cont.)
Drop it.
SOAP
No, I’m not dropping it. Not when I feel like this, not when I know you feel like this, too. What are you so afraid of?
GHOST
This isn’t your fucking life, Soap, and you fucken know it. You’re supposed to fuck off and retire and have pretty fucking babies with some pretty fucking woman in Scotland, and that’s it.
SOAP
(quietly) and what about you?
GHOST
I die.
SOAP
Then I’ll be by your side when that happens.
SOAP stands defiantly and offers his hand to GHOST, who takes it after a tremulous moment of consideration. Once GHOST is on his feet, SOAP grabs GHOST’s hands and walks them to the cot, where they sit side-by-side, hands still entwined)
SOAP (cont.)
I don’t want to get married. I want you, you thickheaded piece of shit.
GHOST
No you don’t.
NARRATOR
But he does.
SOAP
But I do.
SOAP (cont.)
If you won’t give me forever, just give me tonight. That’s all I’m asking for. If you want me.
GHOST
Okay.
SOAP
Okay.
(SOAP lets out a soft, abrupt laugh, as if he cannot believe his luck. GHOST answers him in kind before taking him by the chin for a deep, sweet kiss, though it soon grows more passionate. Just as GHOST hoists SOAP up by his thighs and throws him to lay face-up on the cot, the curtains close)
A spotlight descends on the curtains and the NARRATOR returns, standing in the center of the stage.
NARRATOR
A glooming peace this morning with it brings;
The sun, for sorrow, will not show his head:
Go hence, to have more talk of these sad things;
Some shall be pardon'd, and some punished:
For never was a story of more woe
Than this of Johnnyboy and his darling Ghost.
CHORUS
Justice for Ella!
- SCENE -
HELL, MIDDLE OF (BUT SLIGHTLY TO THE LEFT. TAKE IT BACK NOW Y’ALL!)
“Wait!”
John jolts forward, thin bedsheets pooling where he hinges at the waist.
He’s alone in his room, just himself and the repetitive, familiar chirping of his alarm. In fact, all of it is familiar. He remembers this bed, how it feels, remembers the walls and the linoleum floor and the smell of it, too. But where’s Ghost? He was just there.
John pats his mattress, as if Ghost was somehow hiding beneath or between his sheets and unsurprisingly finds nothing.
Right. Because he’s alone in his room, just himself and the sheets and the cot that struggles to fit his body, let alone his and someone else’s. He rubs at his sleepy eyes and forces his mind to reacquaint itself with reality, but the dream he’d just had was sticky—clawing it’s way impossibly back from the aether, begging, scrabbling to linger even if just for a few moments longer.
The dream was sticky in that way, and also in another.
John decides that it’s a beautiful day to curl up and die and then die again just to be safe.
HELL, MIDDLE OF (CHARLIE BROWN!)
Hell on Earth exists, and it is Verdansk. Freezing fucking cold, windy as all hell, and dark, dark, dark.
Luckily, Soap has an angel looking over him, but he’d rather not think about that right now.
The angel’s voice comes through tinny and flat and terribly familiar through his earpiece, which does little to mellow its rasp. “Soap, you’ve got three enemies moving in East.” Reliable. The angel is reliable and also professional, and its voice is simultaneously the very same and so radically different from how it sounded a handful of hours ago.
Soap takes a moment to nod to no one in particular before checking left, then right. Indeed, he can make out three figures ambling his way, assault rifles cradled lazily in their arms as they shoot the shit on patrol.
“Copy,” he says, very calm, very collected. In reality, he is very nauseous. “Permission to engage?”
Already anticipating the go-ahead, he readies his muzzled sidepiece and pats the handle of his knife for good measure. He knows it’s there, of course, remembers slotting it in its sheath, but shit has a terrible habit of happening.
“Give ‘em hell,” says the angel, AKA Ghost, FKA Simon, AKA the very last person Soap trusts himself around at that given moment.
To make a long story short, Soap does indeed give them hell. They get to their exfil location. They exfil. Soap doesn’t look at Ghost’s hands (too familiar) or his eyes (also too familiar) and doesn’t get close enough to smell him (too familiar) or anything else, really.
Ghost doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t act like anything’s amiss at all.
(familiar)
SPOTIFY
Discover Weekly
Your weekly mixtapes of fresh music. Enjoy new music and deep cuts picked for you. Updates every Monday.
Made for John MacTavish
1h 43m
Careless Whisper
George Michael
Careless Whisper
George Michael
Careless Whisper
George Michael
Careless Whisper
George Michael
Oops! I Did it Again
Britney Spears
Careless Whisper
George Michael
Careless Whisper
George Michael
HELL, MIDDLE OF (REVERSE! REVERSE!)
An accident becomes several, which in turn become the gateway drug to your deepest desire. Nice guys don’t finish last. They generally don’t finish at all: A Collection of Haikus
oops (sensation)
they’re not your hands (not
hers or yours) but they feel, of
course, so good, so good
i (and sound)
call to me, that voice:
more like thunder (like i). i
needed, yet need more
did (and sweet)
secret taste of salt
and taste of sin. oh, soothe me.
my love, forgive me
it (and scent)
you’ve laid down your arm—
just the one—for me to find,
and covet, and drink
again (and see how fucked you are)
fingers follow your
eye (I’ve caught) and I pull down,
push forth the issue
#mine#my writing#another fortune#ghostsoap#ghost x soap#soapghost#soap x ghost#simon ghost riley#ghoap#john soap mactavish
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Forever Begins Now - An Angel Reyes/OC Short Story.
Here they are, besties! Back again! I’ve tagged the usual beautiful people, but if you want in on the tagl list, you’ve only to DM me and ask. For those viewing this with brand new eyes, the prequel to the story, Edge of Seventeen is where it all began, and can be found here.
Tag list - In the comments
Words - 3,550
Warnings - 18+ content throughout, minors DNI!
Stunned. She was completely and utterly stunned as she stood there, the breeze in her hair and the warm sand beneath her feet, suddenly feeling a little shaky. As her mouth dropped open, Bella felt herself begin to tingle all over, staring at him wordlessly. Did he really just ask her to marry him?
“B! Shit baby, don’t leave me hanging here!”
“I’m sorry!” she blurted, shaking her head a little, her mouth widening. “I’m just... you really want to marry me?”
He couldn’t help but roll his eyes, laughing softly. “I ain’t in the habit of asking just anyone, you know! So, will you?”
Her reply was instant. And loud. “Yes!” Pulling him down to her level, she kissed him, squeaking with excitement, while Angel breathed an internal sigh of relief, happiness flooding him entirely. “Yes!” Oh, she could get louder. Jumping up into his arms, she felt herself swung around. “YES!” Louder still, but he didn’t care. She’d said yes. They were engaged.
“I don’t have a ring, because I didn’t exactly plan this, but perhaps it’s better this way,” he began, Bella hushing him with another kiss.
“That’s what I love about it, that it was spur of the moment!”
“I meant that it means you can choose your own, but we can go with that, as well,” he grinned, Bella wrapping her legs around him, resting her forehead against his. “Do you have any fucking idea how happy you’ve made me? You’re gonna be my wife, wow. I can’t wait.”
She was thoughtful for a few moments, her grin beginning to grow. “Has the club got anything big coming up, as far as outlaw endeavours go, anything you have to be present for?”
“Actually, no,” he confirmed. “He just did a drop a few days ago, as you know, so we’re good for a few weeks. Why?”
“Let’s elope! Well, you can ask some of the guys if they want to come with, but fuck it. Shall we just go up to Vegas and get married?”
The small smile he wore began to grow, spreading across his face. “To use your words, fuck it. Why not?”
What had begun as a lazy morning soon swirled into an afternoon of activity, both heading back up to the house and dressing, Angel insisting he purchase a ring for her that very afternoon.
“There’s no rush, big sexy,” Bella spoke, locking up the house. “It doesn’t have to be this afternoon, and goodness knows, it might not be. You know how indecisive I can be, and that’s just over where I want to eat dinner.”
“Well then better we start now, don’t you think?” She saw his point. They headed down to Santo Padre, Angel not having the same funds in his bank account as he did in the safe within his bedroom, once which after they’d arrived back and he’d opened, Bella almost passed out at seeing the contents of.
“Jesus on wheels!” she cried. “How much fucking cash do you have in there?”
He shrugged, taking out a ten grand wedge. “I dunno, twenty, twenty-five?”
“Thousand?!” Her eyes were almost out on stalks.
“Outlawing is profitable, and I can’t put it in the bank, I only have me to spend it on, and other than my bike, I’m low maintenance, so it racks up. I’m taking a big chunk to Vegas with me, see how much I can fucking add onto it.” He always insisted on paying for everything, but Bella hadn’t ever had a clue before that moment just how well off her soon to be husband was. He could be dirt poor, though, and she’d love him just as much. “Oh, in case you ever need access to it, the code is my birthday backwards.”
Leaving the house, they headed into town, hitting the first jewellery store at just gone 2pm. Angel could tell from the rows upon rows of generic solitaire rings that it wasn’t Bella’s vibe from the moment they walked in, his fiancé crinkling her nose and shaking her head before they walked to the next store. No luck there, either.
“Do you have any idea what you’d like?” he asked as they walked to the next one, three blocks from the second.
“I know this is going to sound frustrating, but I think I’ll know when I see it,” she began, offering him a cigarette as she lit one of her own. “I definitely don’t want something that looks like anything else. It has to be unique.”
“Just like you, baby girl.” He was thoughtful for a few moments, Bella running a hand through her hair, Angel catching a glimpse of the blue amber ring he’d bought her, for what he’d thought to be her nineteenth birthday, the ring he’d still wanted her to have after they’d parted, on account of the birthday he’d missed only being her seventeenth. “Hold up, come on, back to the bike. I know where we’re going.”
A half hour later and they were parking up on a side street in San Diego, a short walk away from Nova, the jewellery store Angel had tracked down the blue amber ring to after searching high and low for a source on the elusive gem. Everything at Nova was handmade by the husband and wife who owned the store, the atmosphere warm, guests greeted by Sage, their Golden Retriever dog, who ambled out from behind the stained wooden counter, her tail softly wagging.
The vibe was completely different to the usual highly polished, false light, buttoned up jewellery stores, the bright lights a few watts less offensive, the air perfumed with earthy incense, candles and salt lamps adding a cosy atmosphere to the shop.
“Good afternoon, both of you,” the woman behind the counter greeted them with warmly, smiling as Sage enjoyed Bella giving her a thorough ear rub while perusing the trays of rings. “Just browsing, or did you have something specific in mind?”
“We just got engaged,” Bella confirmed, the woman clasping her hands together, her bright, genuine smile widening.
“Many blessings to you! What a beautiful occasion. Well, these rings here are all a little more casual, but if you move to this display over here on the right, we have a collection more befitting of such.” Gesturing with an outstretched arm, her many dainty bracelets tinkling against one another, Bella stepped over, Sage ambling back to her bed behind the counter. Looking down at the display, it took all of ten seconds before she gasped and pointed. “That one! Oh my god, that one!!”
“Ahh, the alexandrite. I know it sounds trite, but this honestly is one of my favourite pieces. The stone of love and inner wealth, how perfect that it should be the one you are drawn to,” the woman explained, unlocking the case and pulling the ring from its place within the cushioned display. “As you’ll notice, it is mostly a bluish green in hue, but alexandrite does shapeshift somewhat, in so much as in different lights it’ll appear purple, too. Very striking. It is natural stone as well, as opposed to man made.”
The stone itself was a wide teardrop, set on a platinum band with small diamonds, set either side of two diamond adorned crescent moons. It was beautiful and unique, just like the girl who slid it onto her finger. “It’s a little tight, but oh, I love it!” Bella cooed, holding her hand up to the light, watching it twinkle. Angel didn’t even care how much it was.
“Sold,” he told the woman, putting his arm around Bella and kissing her head. “Can you resize it?”
“We can, yes. It’ll be ready tomorrow afternoon as I estimate in only needs to be stretched by a half size. We’d require a down payment, unless you wish to purchase in full right now?”
“Sure, now is fine,” Angel nodded.
“Wonderful,” she spoke, taking the ring back and placing it into a small pouch, excusing herself and taking it into the back room, conferring with her husband, who Bella heard deliver the delightful statement of ‘Oh, tell ‘em to come back later. I can have this done in a couple of hours.’
“I take it from the bouncing that you heard that?” the woman chuckled, loving the excitement of the young woman before her, her energy infectious.
“I did! Is four thirty okay?”
“Absolutely fine. Oh, and if it is of interest, we also have a wedding band custom made to fit it, apologies, I should have pulled that out as well!” Going back to the display, she took out the band, which was wishbone shaped to take the shape of the engagement ring, Bella looking to Angel.
“Yeah, we’ll take that, too. Actually, I might as well get mine from here as well.” His choice was made just as swiftly, deciding on a plain, dark grey titanium band that fortunately fit perfectly.
“Alright, that’ll be nine two, please, sir.” Bella’s eyes almost fell out of her head, turning rapidly to view Angel.
“What? I don’t care how much it costs, if those are what you want, then they’re the ones you’re getting.” He considered it a good deal, since he’d been prepared to pay the whole ten grand he had on him solely for Bella’s engagement ring alone. The fact that he managed to get their wedding rings for that too, and have eight hundred left was a bonus.
“So, you gonna leave buying your dress until you get there?” he asked as they walked down to the next corner, where there was a bar they intended to wait at.
“Nope! I have something, haven’t worn it yet, and it’ll be perfect!” He didn’t ask for details, wanting to be surprised. Bella could barely wait, her little white lace vintage thrift store find having a very special debut outing, being that it just got promoted to her wedding dress. It was short and tight (two prerequisites Angel seemed to favour in her clothing) and sat off the shoulders, the sleeves flaring at the elbows. That and her ridiculously high leopard print heels, because even though perilous in height, she found them comfortable, and they’d boost her up somewhere close to her very tall fiancé's eyeline. And because of what he coined them, FMH’s. Fuck me heels. Whenever she wore them, his thoughts ran even more impure than usual.
After having something to eat and a few drinks, Bella moved to seat herself across Angel’s lap, sharing kisses, reminded of sitting with him in the exact same way on their first date, over a year and a half ago. God, how everything had changed in that time, Bella pondering it, thinking that although they’d only been back together for just under a month, it felt like they’d never been apart. And now they wouldn’t ever be again, making the ultimate commitment to one another.
“You happy, baby?”
She nodded, her nails scratching over where his beard met his throat. “I am, very much so. Kinda horny though, so I could stand to be happier. You need to take me home and let me bounce on your cock for a bit.”
He snorted laughing, grinning. “See this is why I love it when you drink wine, you get all lit and sex feral.” His term had her laughter booming, Bella picking up her glass of chardonnay and taking a sip. This was why she didn’t drink it often; two glasses and she was tipsy and horny. Three and she had to be restrained from undressing him in public.
Later that afternoon, Bella got her wish, riding Angel into his bed, watching her engagement ring sparkling as she ran her hands in a sumptuous glide over his chest.
“Oh shit, yes, fuck! Oh god, you’re gonna make me cum so fucking hard!” she panted, his thumb rubbing in a tight circle at her clit, his other hand gently clutching at her neck, Bella turning her head and sucking his fingers, biting down as she closed her eyes tightly, the tingles of her orgasm erupting like a supernova, riding him until his cock jerked and filled her with thick ribbons of cum, collapsing down on top of him.
He loved how high her libido was, as Angel would be the first to admit he was the same, but if he was honest, she was on course to ruining him completely. That was the third time that day. She had to be satisfied by now.
“Fuck me, ahhhh, yes, yes!” Nope. She wasn’t. So, with her hair wrapped around his fist, Angel absolutely pounded the hell out of her savagely from behind half an hour later, having her screaming in absolute bliss. He loved it, of course he did, but god, he was exhausted. Five times the day before, and they’d likely five that day, too. They’d meant to have left for the clubhouse over an hour before, finally arriving at just gone eight thirty, Angel whistling for everyone’s attention after they’d gotten furnished with drinks.
“Hey yo, a little hush. So, we got some news,” he began, turning to look at Bella with a nod.
“We’re engaged!” she cried, flashing her hand, the clubhouse erupting, but no one more so than one woman, who’s squeal all about blew up her boyfriend’s left eardrum.
“God damnit, Amelia!” Gilly exclaimed, his girlfriend flying off his lap to throw her arms around Bella, quickly leaning to kiss Angel’s cheek before they both stood, mutually screaming in a pitch so high, the guys wished it was only dogs that could hear them, Nala joining in after coming from the bathroom and inquiring over the fuss. After being congratulated by his brothers and Bella having her sanity questioned, the girls sequestered themselves around one of the fire pits outside, Angel sitting down on one of the couches outside the clubhouse, wincing.
“You okay there, mano?” Gilly asked, his entertainment gaining momentum when Angel took the glass full of ice he’d brought out along with his beer, and promptly rested it against his crotch. “So, you found the one pitfall of being with a woman twenty years younger than you?”
“Don’t laugh at me, man,” he began, Gilly hissing as he shook. “She’s even worse this time around. Five times yesterday, four today. I love it, I thrive on that shit, but I’m fucking tired, and my dick hurts!”
He absolutely erupted at that, Angel looking pained, turning to softly butt his head off Gilly’s thick shoulder a few times. “Body is willing but the flesh is weak, huh? Never thought I’d hear you of all people complain about too much sex.”
“What’s it gonna be like when we’re actually married? I mean, I can do twice, three times alright, and that’s because at the moment I only see her three times a week. But soon, it’ll be every day. Five fucking times a day, every day? Fuck. She gon’ kill me.”
“Yeah, but you got work, and when semester begins again, she’ll have college,” Gilly reasoned, Angel widening his eyes.
“She’ll find a way, trust me!”
“You need to tire her out, bro,” Gilly asserted, finishing his beer and picking up the fresh one he’d also brought out with him.
Angel looked incredulous. “How? She’s like a fucking sexy Tasmanian devil. She got more energy than... than... something with a fucking god damned lot of energy!” Gilly couldn’t stop laughing, mostly at Angel’s facial expressions and wild gesticulating.
“I dunno, man. Put a dildo on the end of a pneumatic drill and let that take over while you recover?”
Angel snorted, looking thoughtful. “It’ll cost me too much in electricity.” They both cracked up, Gilly shaking his head.
“The fucking irony. You find the one and she’s even more sex crazy than you. That’s hysterical. Only you, dude. Only you could bag yourself a hot, eighteen-year-old mamacita and not be able to keep up with her.” In the interim of them being parted, Angel had eventually confessed the reason why to his brothers in the club. All had had taken the news with the kind of grace Angel hadn’t expected... except for Coco, who’d eventually earned a black eye for his continued jailbait jokes.
“I can keep up just fine!” Angel spluttered, wincing a little, shifting the glass of ice between his legs again. “It’ll just kill me doing it is all.”
Once all talk about insatiable women was done, plans were made for the pending nuptials. The girls weren’t a problem, Nala being between jobs and Amelia working for herself, running an online store selling leather craft items she made herself, and guys got the go ahead from Bishop to leave whenever. He wasn’t going, Taza, Riz and Hank also staying behind to keep Romero Brothers running.
“I appreciate it, you know. You staying back so more of the guys can come with us,” Angel spoke later that night, grasping Bishop’s shoulder. The president gave him the kind of uncomfortable smile that alluded to more beneath the surface.
“Angel, I love you, mano, I do, but that ain’t the reason why I’m staying behind,” he began, Angel frowning as he took a seat beside him at the bar. “I don’t think what you’re doing is a good idea.”
Angel’s frown deepened, looking baffled. “Why?”
“Because it’s a rash decision. You’ve been back with her for what, a month? Also, there’s your history with her, and I’m sorry, she’s a great girl in most other respects, but I don’t trust her,” he lamented, sipping his drink.
He held onto his desire to feel rattled by his words and show such verbally, but still, his nostrils flared with displeasure. “With respect, Bish, you ain’t the one who needs to trust her, I am. And I do. She’s learned from her mistake; I know she has.”
Bishop sighed, scratching his stubbly jaw. “Are you giving it enough time to really see that she has? I don’t think you are. I just don’t wanna see you make a big mistake, Angel.”
“Well, if you ain’t coming then it looks like you’re not gonna be, doesn’t it?” His words were sharp, and Bishop expected him not to be pleased by such a reaction. “Not that it is a mistake, and you’ll see that. Believe me, prez. You’ll eat your words.”
He got up, shaking his head and muttering, leaving Bishop to honestly hope he was proven wrong. Heading back to his fiancé, they sat among the group who were going with them, making plans to leave early on Thursday morning in order to spend a long weekend there. A hotel was decided on, rooms were booked, and that was everything sorted, the group agreeing to meet at Bella’s place at 9am in two days' time.
Throughout the night, Bella noticed that Angel’s enthusiasm waned slightly, something that she brought up once they’d arrived back at his just before 1am.
“Tell me what’s wrong.”
Turning to his side, he smiled thinly, Bella feeling a little wave of nervousness go through her. Was he having second thoughts?
“Bish told me something tonight, something I didn’t take particularly well,” he began, taking her hand, kissing her fingers before continuing. “He said he thought I was making a mistake in marrying you, said he didn’t trust you after last time.”
Her face dropped a little, Angel hating having to reveal that to her. She always like Bishop, and he didn’t want things to be awkward between them. In the interests of honesty, though, he had to tell her. “But I told him it isn’t him that has to trust you, it’s me, and I do, so it’s his problem, not ours.”
Kicking off her shoes, she curled her legs up beneath herself, wrapping Angel’s arm around her as she rested her head against his chest. “I think people reacting negatively to what we’re doing, whether my past transgressions are factored in or not is something we have to expect, baby. This is why I’m not telling mum until we’re actually married. She’s going to go absolutely insane; I know she will.”
Angel quietly agreed, thinking that their actions likely would undo a lot of the good work he’d put in with building a relationship with Deb. Even though that part of him that was more emotionally mature than Bella probably should have prevailed in his decision making, knowing he should have been as he was, the grown adult, the crazily in love, ‘I want her to be my wife as soon as possible’ side of him won. It always would with her.
“When all is said and done, B, this is you and me. Other people will likely disapprove, but it isn’t their life, it’s ours. Now, you coming to bed?”
“Mmmm...” she licked the side of his neck, jumping off the couch, stripping on the way to the bedroom. “Hurry up. I need to be under you for a while before we go to sleep.”
Angel groaned softly, leaning forward, butting his head off his knees before standing. “Yup, she definitely gon’ kill me. Pretty sweet way to go, though.”
“What was that?” she called.
He chuckled, removing his kutte, grinning to himself. “Nothing, baby girl.”
#angel reyes#angel reyes fanfiction#angel reyes smut#angel reyes imagine#angel reyes x ofc#angel reyes fanfic#angel reyes fic#mayans mc#mayans mc fanfiction#mayans mc imagine#mayans mc smut#mayans mc fanfic#mayans mc fic
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May 🏋🏻 2024 Monthly - Aries
Preshuffle: You’re getting exciting & encouraging news about some issue that’s lingered and draaaagged on for-fucking-ever (that’s how I heard it 😆). It’s been a heavy weight to carry, you’ve persevered through the bs and are finally coming out the other side with a new perspective, a lesson is learned.
Meditation: I laughed. Your door was hidden behind a moving piece of wall, that wasn’t really all that well hidden. There was a 4-number code padlock on the door, and I immediately guessed 4444, which worked. When I walked inside, your mouth dropped and I tossed you the padlock saying “you should really make a better password.” 4444 could mean something specific for you, 4’s are about stability, your relationships, your personal security and finances. Some of you may literally need to change your password, for these reasons.
Main energy: 7 Pentacles
Robbery is here further driving the point of protecting your things, passwords, whatever may be exposed or vandalized this month, be very careful. Otherwise, there are many cards indicating a choice, this can be about work or love, whether you want to put the work into a relationship or job that’s having issues. Been having issues 💯 You’ve invested a lot into this, and success is coming with a new passion for whatever this is. Honeybee shows forgiveness, heavy energy of love & family, it’s looking really good. A “wait and see” attitude is probably the healthiest to have, based on the indecision I can see with 2 Swords here. Will things get better? It looks like it.
What’s going on in May:
The Lovers:
There’s a romantic connection for most, with d-r-a-m-a but you’ve avoided moving away from it altogether…maybe moving on. You’re invested in this connection, this person, whatever you’ve built. 10 Cups is here, this is your happily ever after, when it’s happy. There’s a lot of indecision surrounding whether a conflict will get better or not…I’m not seeing the things I need to see though. No reflection, no lessons learned, no apologies, not yet. If this is family/work, you could feel like someone is taking your shit, could be as simple as the lunches in the break room fridge, but you already have it will absolutely fight for your chicken salad b*tch, let’s do this 🤛 There could be a thief of some kind in the family as well, someone you may avoid because they’re always out for something from you, and that’s the only thing they seem to come around for. Money or material things it looks like, this Robbery card shows the person stealing a computer. Protect your information, I’m not gonna keep saying that but it’s being pushed.
2 Pentacles:
Constant going back and forth, pros and cons, can this heal or is it over with? Whether the relationship as a whole or some dynamic within it, whatever you’ve been arguing about or conflicted over. A family connection, a shady job, using the break room refrigerator at all. You *want* to, you just don’t know how to have the most successful outcome, how do I overcome this situation? Waiting it out may work in your favor, I don’t see a whole lot of action being necessary from you, not initially anyway.
6 Wands:
There’s a period of ignoring the problem, each other, whatever this conflict is. It’s needed, it will eventually being sadness or regret from the person who needs to feel it. Disappointment. You could be bringing attention to a problem to gain support from others, letting coworkers know your lunches are getting snatched and you use pink stickers - if you see who it is tell me please! It’ll work. If there’s been a separation, there’s a reconnection. You could be wary of a person or connection, but they’re part of your 10 Cups and I’m hearing they’re the only ones - a special snowflake that you make allowances for, or that’s switched. Especially family 💯
10 Cups:
Whatever decision needs to be made, will be. Whatever needs to happen, will. Justice shows that this will turn out in a way that’s beneficial for everyone involved, 10 Cups can be a whole family unit. There’s a lot of love with this person, they’d be considered like a “soul tribe”, even with things in/about them that may irritate you. Fair is fair, though I don’t see you tackling the problem itself - maybe it’s not your problem to tackle. Or you’re the one handling it and moving on with your life. More happy, silly, spontaneous, fun, you enjoy the time you spend with this person and would like to focus more on what’s successful than what’s wrong. I’m not getting delusion or I’d say so, it’s Justice, that’s fair. The Hierophant at the bottom, no matter what this is specifically, you have the best intentions, you’re deeply committed to doing the right thing in this situation.
Page of Wands:
Feeling a sudden burst of happiness, passion, excitement, an eagerness to rush into new phases of life - a lesser Fool that talks about the plans they want to jump into, rather than taking action. Travel plans maybe, future plans certainly, how things will or should change. What you want to do, see, be, maybe in tandem with others in the same situation, especially coworkers. You could have some big changes on the horizon, knowingly - these are goals of yours - and others around you are eager to get involved and hear all about them. What starts out with conflict is about to get much happier and more supportive, you’re genuinely loved by the people around you.
Side note: because you have Honeybee and Honey Adams, there is the old saying about attracting more bees with honey 🍯 being highlighted here. No conflict necessary.
Signs you may be dealing with:
Aquarius, Leo, Libra, Cancer, Pisces & Sagittarius
Oracle: ✨
Robbery 💻
Exploitation - Incaution - Unfairness
Family 👨👩👧👦
Bond - Home - Background
Honeybee 🐝
“Let compassion and forgiveness be your top priority in this situation.”
To reap all the sweetness that life has to offer, focus on compassion and forgiveness. Compassion means that you have heartfelt empathy for the suffering and misfortune of others yet remain somewhat detached so that you don’t take on their sorrow and distress as your own. Forgiveness requires that you first acknowledge and accept responsibility for your judgements, rather than pretending they don’t exist or proclaiming to always have a nonjudgmental attitude. The next step is to release those judgements. To do so, think of someone, past or present, with whom you have judgements or criticisms. Trust that the first person that comes to mind is the appropriate one to start with. Consider two or three specific criticisms you have about this individual, preferably captured with one word, like selfish or cold. Now go inside yourself, and look for the part of you that’s exactly like what you’re judging in the other person.
It may be a very prominent part of yourself, or it may be very small. Once you find that part of yourself, and recognize it, say to it “I love you and I forgive you.” Practice this one time every day, and pay attention to any feelings that come up throughout the day that remind you or recall you to this experience as you work through your judgements, they’re important.
We enter into May as:
Sky Blue 💎
“You’ll see it when you believe it.” - Wayne Dyer
Seeking wise council is vital when you are pushing into new territory that may be overwhelming. Choose wisely though; if you choose someone too critical of your dreams, it could be a hinderance. When we are close to the proper decision, often we teeter on the brink and simply give up for fear of being embarrassed. Do not use another person’s negativity as an excuse to hold yourself back. If you pick someone who you know will not support you, do not blame them for your shortcoming. When you believe something is possible, everything and everyone you need to manifest your desires will materialize. We can only create what we can envision. It is time for you to imagine what you wish to create, for you will only see it, when you believe it!
What is to be learned in May:
Honey Adams 🍯
“I will attract to you whatever you desire, if you give up your desires.”
Are you seeing your life as it really is, or how you’d like it to be? Are you wishing things in your life could be different? Honey reminds us that what we create is in fact what we want. So often we wish that things could be different rather than accept that this is how it is. Honey tells you to make the most of your present situation.
Giving does not mean compromising who you are. Being a giving person means showing up with as much honesty and fairness as you can in any situation. This is a strong reminder to stop complaining, roll up your sleeves and get the job done. If you feel that are are being treated unjustly, you must act “just” yourself. The indication is that you need to give up what you think you deserve and start being of service. What any of us receive is up to Spirit.
Orange may be a lucky color 🧡
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Hi Olivie bestie!
Not my normal ask but I guess I have a life advice question?
For context: I got accepted off the waitlist to UCLA’s med school (feeling very Cecily in this moment tbh) but it’s my first MD acceptance compared to my DO schools. I guess my questions are a) what’s LA like? I’ve never even been there and don’t really know people from there to ask (or if even Mr.Blake has any insight on moving from the Midwest to LA-I know I’m not really from the Midwest technically but close enough). I don’t really have the money to go visit it anytime soon so it would really just be me showing up there in time for school b) Am I really fucked if I don’t have a car living there? It’s something I know I have to work on getting for MS2 but idk if I’ll be able to afford one before then. And I guess c) I know I’m realistically the only person who can answer this for myself but is it worth it to be wayyy more in debt and be so far away from my family:people I know than my close to home less more resources/opportunities DO program. Again I know that’s really only something *I* can answer but any insight on things I should consider would be great 😭
I have to make this decision in like 5 days hahah (but even if you see this wayyy later that’s okay would still love to hear any advice).
Sorry this is such a weird ask but you’re one of the only people I kinda sort know that lives in LA/moved to a different state across the country for their professional school so I figured I would ask.
Still hoping I get off the waitlist to my dream program (an MD program that is also close to home) but this is such a big opportunity that I don’t know if I can or should pass up 😅 but I’m an indecisive person!!
ALSO LOVING THE DAILY JANUARIES TRACKLIST REVELS!!! Literally living for it it’s so fun-can’t wait to see all the other titles 🥰
-Amanda
hmmmm well let’s see LA things first: it would be quite difficult to live without a car but I think you’d be okay on the west side. public transportation does exist, and it is also improving a lot because of the infrastructure changes leading up to the olympics. not always the most efficient thing for getting directly from A to B but doable. I think if you chose your housing well you’d be able to figure it out. of course, the cost of living in LA is quite high, so that’s something to keep in mind. but I for example live here because my brain is very fragile and breaks easily without a lot of sun, so to me that cost is 10000% worth it. also, I do love this city, as silly as that is to say. I wouldn’t be who I am without this city. I think it’s a great place to be, especially considering the political stakes in this country—LA doesn’t support or enforce ICE investigations and I feel comfortably sure that this is the safest place I could be as far as body autonomy and reproductive rights. also the produce is great here year round. truly! it’s amazing. worth the rent, she says, biasedly
but that being said I know what it’s like to choose between two schools and ultimately I think you’ll have to go with your gut on this one. I remember that I chose my law school because I had this ~feeling~—I just knew something important was waiting for me in chicago. it wasn’t technically the more rational choice because the other law school I was choosing between was higher ranked, but I just knew in my bones where I needed to be.
give or take a week after moving in, I met my husband. if I’d gone to the other law school, I probably would have finished law school—I’d probably be a lawyer right now. strange to think about but I’d resigned myself to a very different life before I met mr blake, and now here we are
ultimately I think we get where we need to go. and if all else fails, it’s never too late to change your path
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When Tommy and Billy make out, it’s very rarely slow. Billy likes to push, to grab, ever so indecisive in whether or not he wants someone so close, but Tommy doesn’t care. Tommy kisses with passion, with desire, because it’s the only thing burning inside him when Billy gets his hands on him. He’s not used to being wanted by someone he genuinely likes, even if Billy and him never speak of what they are. If they’re something official, exclusive, but Tommy likes to think they are. Likes to pretend he doesn’t see the girls Billy flirts with, the ones he takes home, but he doesn’t like them, admitted he doesn’t like any girl, so Tommy tries not to think about it.
Tommy has a history with a pretty girl he’s on and off with all the time, so he doesn’t have to act. People don’t suspect him. Billy probably doesn’t need to act anymore either, but Tommy won’t press the matter. He just wants to be kissed.
He expects the usual clash, the hard press and rough hands on his waist or thighs because Billy’s hands are always moving and they have to be on Tommy.
Billy kisses him hesitantly one spring evening, six months after they’ve met, four since they started doing whatever this was. Kissing, touching, basking in each other’s presence and playing the part of just friends in front of others.
It’s gentle, tender, the way Billy presses his lips to his, his hands brushing his thighs, his sides, before ultimately laying on the couch cushion, fisting it like he’s holding back with everything he has. Tommy pulled away with a small frown.
“Are you good, B?” Billy looks away, brows furrowing into a scowl.
“Yeah, I’m good, I just- Whatever. The fucks that supposed to mean anyway?”
“Nothing! Just…continue?” Tommy draws him back in, and it’s still soft but it’s like there’s a new electricity in the air. Not that sexual buzz you get deep in your bones before arousal pools low in your gut, but something warm and fuzzy tickling all over his skin as Billy’s hand cups his cheek and tilts his head further to kiss deeper, taking his time.
Tommy sighed softly into it, his confusion ebbing away as Billy slid his fingers into his short dark hair. It felt good, being handled gently. He hadn’t thought Billy could manage such a thing.
“Let’s just kiss for a while, T.” The blond murmured and Tommy nodded, barely separately their lips as he did so.
“Yeah, course.” As he melted back in, it was like Billy was sharing his natural heat with him, transferring it through his bloodstream and into his bonemarrow.
Tommy liked making out with Billy. He didn’t know if this counted, but he if it did, than making out was his new favourite thing in the world.
He wouldn’t ask why. Billy didn’t like questions. But whatever stirred this softness in him, Tommy would take it for all it was worth.
#tomgrove#Billy x Tommy#Tommy hagan#Billy hargrove#I just needed Billy finally being soft with Tommy after a while#letting his walks down as a small ‘I love you’
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It’s so obvious why Sam brought Tommy once he gets questioned. I love Phil being blunt enough to point out the implications. Implications Sam himself hasn’t even thought of. (Truly, all it takes is one idiot with the right bloodline to fumble the ball.)
[At this, Phil snapped his head back towards Sam. “Nephew?”] Phil reacts like this for 2 reasons. 1. It’s basically confirmation that Sam is considering Tomys as a potential heir. He might as well say it outright (and he does later on). 2. Phil looked at Sam’s family tree to find Quackity all those years ago. Phil should have known if there were any more viable heirs, meaning that if he didn’t know, Either a. Phil missed something and he does not like the sound of that or b. Sam really DUG to find someone.
It’s very much b. Sam wants to make his own decisions and he acts incredibly childish when confronted about it. He’s too focused on proving his own worth and that he can decide things all by himself (without Phil). That he not only kept something incredibly important a secret (missing several big implications by not talking it through with anyone who could have pointed them out) he also doubled down after learning of those implications instead of admitting that he might have made a mistake.
Side note: [“And here I thought you were just scrapbookin’,” Techno muttered under his breath.] I love him.
Anyway, [“It’s unusual, and it reflects poorly on both you and the three potential heirs,” Phil continued.] he’s right, the entire paragraph is completely correct. Sam looks indecisive because he is, he has rarely made a decision without Phil and rather than face the decision he needs to make, he brings in a new heir. Anyone who doesn’t know about his struggle with Phil’s power, will think he’s buying himself more time. Or that he needs an alternative because both Niki and Quackity have failed (which both of them think, the poor kids).
[“There wasn’t a reason,” Sam insisted] this is going to be Rose!Sam in a nutshell isn’t it? I mean there is a reason, a stupid one, but still a reason. It’s his own insecurity vs a possible fear of making any decision at all, let alone the wrong one. (Maybe even fear of change if you squint). Oh and I’m here for Wilbur absolutely dissing Sam (he probably learn it from his father, subcontiously or not). This particular desicion falls under the category [short-sighted]!
(2/?)
-🎄
"truly all it takes is one idiot with the right bloodline to fumble the ball" this sums up so much of european monarchy in a nutshell. this also could be a tagline for rose. all it takes is one dumbass wearing the crown and everything gets fucked up
yeah, sam casually dropping that tommy is his nephew was pretty much the last confirmation they needed without him saying it outright. the thing is, when phil did look for another potential heir and found quackity all those years ago, he knew there were technically more heirs that could've been around. he was just looking for someone with the second closest relation to sam outside of niki being his cousin, and someone who was of a suitable age to come to the palace and start training for the role (which quackity was ideal for since he was only a year younger than niki and the son of a duke). tommy is definitely a bit further on the family tree, but if phil had kept looking he would've found him. I think technically tommy is sam's second cousin once removed? like, tommy's parents are sam's second cousins. either way he's definitely a distance from the line of succession.
either way, it's definitely sam trying to make his own decisions but being incredibly childish about it. while he's more than grateful for phil's guidance over the years, he's not blind. he's seen how much power and respect phil wields and feels that slipping from his own fingertips. of course, his hasty decision-making only leads to him being seen as even less competent than he would've been otherwise. it makes it look like he's struggling to make his own decisions, and that niki and quackity are poor choices in themselves. good job, sam.
I thought of the scrapbook line while I was planning the chapter and I straight up wrote it in the outline so I wouldn't forget to throw it in it's so dumb but so funny
either way, this is definitely one of sam's short-sighted decisions. and yes, wilbur is such a bitch in his head about sam and he learned it all from his good ol dad. gotta love a dad who spills all the fofoca about his stupid boss to his kid, even when said boss is the ruler of the entire country
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c!dream is stagnation. c!Tommy is change. that scares c!Dream. this is a post about it
I can’t recall who the op of the post that inspired this is. But I saw it in a reblog from @proudfreakmetarusonniku, who I’m tagging cuz primeboys ya thing and I’m sure you’d like to read some stuff about them.
This is all just a ramble stream of consciousness that involves all of the usual c!primeboy’s triggers for canon. Abuse and obsession and death and such things in bound. Please be safe.
So, what do I mean that c!Tommy makes c!Dream scared? Simply, I firmly believe that many of c!Dream’s actions towards c!Tommy stem from a place of genuine fear of what c!Tommy so boldly represents: change and a world that doesn’t depend on him.
When you think of c!Dream, what do you imagine? A puppetmaster. A cruel tyrant. A cunning mastermind in the shadows pulling the strings. Strings, marionettes, puppets, chains, cells, oppression, walking on eggshells, worship towards a false god, abuse and abuse, control and dominance. Fear. A nightmarish eternity.
Now, what about c!Tommy?
When I think of c!Tommy, I think about a few things. First my brain goes IJVBKVBDUIGSBDIUGSIGUSBDFUG and I spiral for 50 plus minutes. But then I think about other things. Things like the sky, wide and open. Things like the sea, vast and unbound. Things like rivers flowing freely through woodland streams, acers of untouched land, nature running free, people living free. Free of fear, death, war or needless anxiety. I think of early L’manburg. I think of family. I think of friends talking and laughing and healing and loving. I think of little Mikey B. I think of happiness. I think of prosperity.
C!Tommy makes people feel free.
He inspires them to WANT to be free.
He inspires them to stand and fight for their lives, for their joy, their happiness and their ability to live their lives how they wish without any outside authority.
And to c!Dream, who has always always ALWAYS since the early days of the DSMP, seen himself as something HIGHER than the people around him? That’s a threat. That’s fucking terrifying.
C!Dream is a force of raw, rancid, suffocating stagnation. Of things never growing, life never changing, people remaining stuck and bound into whatever he decides is their proper place, all while he can abuse and maim and torture those he deems worthy however he damn well pleases.
c!Tommy is everything he wants to push against. C!Dream doesn’t WANT people to grow or work to change. C!Dream wants everyone to stay small and meek and traumatized so he can butt in and force himself onto their lives to bend them to his will. whatever it is on any given day. man’s is indecisive.
THIS is what I think is the deep deep deep deep deep DEEP dark down deep down core of his obsession towards c!Tommy: if he can break c!Tommy, then he can keep the one threat to his perfect world in check and never have to fear the results of change again.
He doesn’t have to fear that his friends will tire of being mistreated by him.
He doesn’t have to fear that all his “family” will “grow-up” and move away.
He doesn’t have to fear that he isn’t really a god that can do as he pleases.
He doesn’t have to be afraid so long as c!Tommy is in pain. And it’s FUN to put c!Tommy through pain. Oh, it’s so fun. And it is such a relief, a joy, a mere satisfaction to take the thing that terrifies him the most, the source of growth and love and change, and to break it in between his hands until it can only scream and beg to be put out of its misery.
When people make jokes that abusing c!Tommy is a form of stimming/therapy for c!Dream, I always find them really really funny.
Because they’re right.
It IS calming for him to remind himself that HE’S the god here and that he is always always ALWAYS going to be the one in charge. And abuse tommy? Making this little pest squirm and writh in endless pain? Oh, it’s just lovely. Just how Dream likes it. For now...and into eternity.
I firmly believe the fear is subconscious. I don’t think even c!Dream realizes he’s scared of c!Tommy.
But he is.
Oh, god, how he is...
But hey. That’s just my headcanon/theory/interpretation. Just a thing I thought about for a bit. wanted to do a post about it.
#dream smp#dream smp analysis#tw abuse mention#tw torture mention#tw death mention#tw obsession mention#c!primeboys (derogetroy)#like I said#i think he isn't aware he's scared of the boy#but I think that he is way super deep down#and that makes him so funny#and so very very patethic#to me at least!#mostly to me...
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Muahahahahahahaha favourite quote of all time out of any of your work wip or published 😘
Ah! So evil! My favorite is definitely villain Youcef but I’ll give my second faves! I can’t pick just one though because I’m indecisive 🥺
REPLAY:
Tom ripped the cigarette from his lips and rolled his eyes. “I highly doubt you actually believe I would need this show to find a woman that would want to be in my company, Alexis.” He did not just call her Alexis. “I have a proposition for you. You want to win, I want to rebel against my family.” He pushed the cigarette into the tray then turned to face her completely. “We could benefit from one another, you know. You can keep the money, of course. I have no need for… pocket change.”
MON AMOUR: (this is strictly the dialogue, the scene isn’t written yet)
“Hey Giovanna? What’s your surname? And can I change it?” — Youcef
REWIND (chapter 29)
“Okay,” I smiled. Oh wow, it probably looks so fucking goofy. “Have a good night then.” I turned and headed for the door but not before my phone started to ring. I pulled it from my pocket and this guy… Well, maybe he was Captain B Smooth afterall. “Hello?”
“Hey,” he said. “Are you busy right now? I know this bakery and the owner’s a friend of mine. He makes really good cakes.”
I turned around, catching his smirk as he continued to hold the phone to his ear. “I’m not busy right now. I’d love to.”
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# 4,079
Cheapo’s (Mineola), 2022.
Well, it didn’t take long for Mr. Cheapo himself to issue those June coupons. Two weeks ago I had one in May for 20% off everything and it helped. After my visit to Sunday Records, my visit to Commack’s Cheapo’s became my second most-expensive visit. Now I had the urge to visit the other location while the coupon was still good. There’s no quit in me or my wallet.
It’s the halfway mark in June and also my record-store tour. I have five more stops to go before I call it quits for the year. Summer’s here for long highway rides to essential places, sweating and sitting in traffic under the hot sticky sun while your car radio is keeping you occupied with the tunes of yesteryear. That’s what my trips were and are still made of, and that’s called ‘making the best of it’.
No traffic on the Long Island Expressway. No traffic on the Northern State Parkway. Just a few turns and I’m here before 3PM. This time around, Mr. Cheapo himself (his real name is Stu) was in the store. There were three other helpers of his constantly running around bagging new arrivals, re-pricing titles, and sorting out their selections. It took me a good five minutes to walk around and get a feel of where I would attack. The best part? No one was playing Kate Bush on the overhead. That made my visit all the difference.
The first destination is in the back of the store where all of the old jazz, soul, and R&B vinyl bins are. Always. It’s a great area in the store where you can simply hide out of sight and stay with yourself as you focus on the hunt. The first thing I look for thumbing through the jazz section is Roy Ayers. To this day, I only seen Everybody Loves The Sunshine once and I’ve yet to come across a copy of A Tear To A Smile. Snake eyes on both of them. But, there’s still plenty of more jazz / fusion artists I’ve yet to discover and records to own. There’s no shortage of used George Benson records, including a $25.00 copy of Erotic Moods. The usual suspects of the (Hubert & Ronnie) Laws brothers, David Sanborn, Earl Klugh, Billy Cobham and more all attended the bins; always on time, attentive and stay for the entire time. And, if you’ve followed Vinyl Frontier and other crate-digging pages for some time, you know records like Rasa’s Everything You See Is Me are a staple in every vinyl collector and producer’s staple. It’s the second time I’ve seen it, and for $3.00, why not? Now how many more times am I going to run into Herbie Mann’s Push Push in my lifetime?
At the back corner of the store and above the alphabetized used records was the showcase of cassettes locked up behind the sliding plexi-glass. His two locations are the only stores on the island that does this. I never understood how Cheapo’s ubiquitous and more expensive CDs were not secured while the less-than-500 cassettes he’s selling for no more than $5.00 each were locked up. It sure takes a lot to protect that $14.00 Billie Eilish tape that’s sitting there. It only took me five minutes to find almost nothing until I finally found Madonna’s Immaculate Collection. Don’t you fucking judge me. It’s not so much a piece of my Atari childhood, but it’s one of a handful of cassettes my younger bro- destroyed because single digits don’t know the value of things. A special sight to behold was a rare Skinny Puppy VIVIsectVI tape sitting pretty for $9.00.
I gave the vinyl searches a break and noticed a couple of shelves housing 12” techno / dance singles. Pass. I see two other shelves of various other electronic titles. Look who’s going to keep that industrial quotient up by snatching VNV Nation, Die Krupps, and a Cyberaktif CD? A few feet over to the right and there’s a small area of used metal and hardcore discs. It’s about time I finally introduce Bad Brains in my collection. I grab another essential item on my want list: Indecision’s Release The Cure. Three down, two more to go. What else was sitting there? Les Savy Fav’s Inches. Years after the fact and the Brooklyn goth girl still has a lingering effect on me. I discovered -Fav through her via “Hold On To Your Genre”. Now, it’s time to see if that album sounds mostly like it.
The search continues through the used CD columns again starting with the letter ‘A’. It was a breeze flying right through them as there were dividers for dedicated artists I didn’t care for. Once again I bolstered my alternative collection by finding two albums by Live and Hole’s Live Through This only just because. There were no shortage of everything Henry Rollins and even a couple of strays in Bjork, Savages, and Dead Kennedys. One disc, The Posies Dear 23, was one I originally passed up but decided to take back because we all have to start somewhere. And there they were: four Sonic Youth discs all grouped together. Three of them: Experimental Trash, Jet Set, And No Star, Washing Machine, and Daydream Nation were the very ones I purchased from Cheapo’s Commack location that Summer before entering my community college era. Just a little behind was Skinny Puppy’s Too Dark Park, one of the initial four albums I purchased with those Sonic Youth discs from the same visit. What an anniversary moment did I just experience?
12” hip-hop / rap singles? Nothing. Hardcore and punk 45’s? Zero. Once again my fingers found themselves rifling through the 7” singles section. $1.99 all un-priced paper sleeves and $2.99 for picture sleeves unless otherwise. You’ll see below a few components of my Atari childhood I’d take home with me. But while -I was thumbing through them, some of those label paper sleeves started to look pretty appealing to me. I find orange ones from Roulette, CMYK bullseye sleeves from Capital, and Uni’s swirled sleeve. One after another they kept on going. ABC’s blue and white stripes, RCA’s sunset colors, Atlantic / Atco’s vertical CMY stripes, Kirschner’s rainbow wave…even one from The Wiz, a former electronics giants hat-tipped by former New York Jet and Super Bowl champion Joe Namath whose famous tagline (“nobody beats the Wiz!”) was always delivered with a Southern drawl and a smile. There were at least ten more I picked out solely based on the paper sleeve design; an aesthetic not really touched on in the collectors world. It’s that moment when I knew I have a serious addiction because I couldn’t help myself. I was just buying for the sake of buying regardless of who was on wax. The low sticker prices and nice designs are a dangerous combination of not knowing when to fucking quit. But Stu came over and saw I was having a blast. He came over and asked me if I visited his other location (Commack) recently. Of course I did, Stu. Two weeks ago I spent almost $350.00 there. “Oh, you’re fine” Stu said assuring me I would be taken care of.
Now that I went crazy over choosing my 45′s, I decided to give the vinyl sections one final look. The Rolling Stone’s Their Satanic Majesties Request was on my mind once again. It was one of my dad’s records before selling that along with the entire collection for $50.00. The least expensive copy they had - the lenticular version - sold for $55.00, which meant I had to pay more for his mistake. The other record I remember of his, Kiss’ Rock ‘N Roll Over, was sold beaten and bruised for $35.00, but a newly-sealed re-issue was stickered for...$25.00? I shook my head and decided to go for them both after my entire record store tour was over.
I just about had it for the day. Before cashing it all in, I asked one of the guys to get the keys for the cassette cabinets and I had him fetch me the Madonna tape. A quick look to my right and I took two other tapes from Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling. A Mineola native, it was only fitting for a record store in the same town as his to carry them. He was responsible for putting the Long Island comedy scene on the map, and as we all know, was Howard Stern’s former joke writer. Those heave-haws, chuckles, wheezes, and guffaws were heard to be believed.
Both of us head back to the front counter to count me out and - oh, shoot - I almost forgot to look through the used hip-hop CD section. Stu taught the new guy to punch everything in on the register, so that bought me only five more minutes time to quickly peruse the upper four racks on the wall near the register. Nas’ Life Is Good was up for grabs and both Craig Mack and Salt-N-Pepa were my golden-era acquisitions. One final pick I was glossing over was The Notorious B.I.G.’s legendary album Ready To Die. My Brentwood-era friend and across-the-street neighbor Reggie made me a tape copy an I kept it all this time. I was thinking of holding off on getting the CD only because I wanted a real cassette copy (also see The Wu-Tang Clan’s 36 Chambers); the way it was meant to be. I ended up buying it because I can always find the tape later. Now I had it for the day. Seriously. I made it in time before one of the guys gave me a final total.
“OK. That’s $238.92” That’s with the 20% off? Not so fast!
“$199.10″
That’s more like it. A little more than half the load of the Commack location and with a better number out of pocket. Debit card swiped, pinned, and approve. They almost had no bags to give, but they managed to dig out an old one which everything fit perfectly in. They gave me the goods and we thanked each other for facilitating a purchase well done. With two hands, I walk out and took a deep breath. Another purchase crossed off the record-store bucket list. I load up my purchase in the trunk, hop in my vehicle, and go around the block in order to head west on Jericho Turnpike / Route 25. It took me fifteen minutes of baking hot 85* sun and sweat to do. I must’ve done something right. A half-a-mile before reaching the Northern State Parkway, I look to my right. It’s Stu driving his blue Nissan Rogue in the lane next to me. He doesn’t look amused. In his mind he’s thinking about how I drove him fucking crazy because twice I held him back from going home due to my constant searching for one more thing.
There were piles and piles of discs and many records from previous purchases still sitting on my floor, waiting to take up shelf space. I put the Mineola purchase on the floor and start taking them out. Immediately there’s something wrong. Stu’s employees gave me the wrong Tool album. I ended up getting the non-deluxe (stereoscopic) disc version of 10,000 Days. I saw a copy that was falling apart and brought the request to get a new one, thinking they’d give me one brand-new and sealed but nope. Great. $14.00 gone to pot. Looks like I’ll have to leave it to myself to get what I want next time.
Krush Groove: motion picture soundtrack LP
Spyro Gyra: Carnaval LP
David Sanborn: Taking Off LP
Lee Ritenour: Captain Fingers LP
Rasa: Everything You See Is Me LP
Ronnie Laws: Fever LP
Hubert Laws: Say It With Silence LP
Earl Klugh: Living Inside Your Love LP
Billy Cobham: Magic LP
George Benson: Blue Benson LP
Nas: Life Is Good CD
Salt-N-Pepa: Very Necessary CD
Craig Mack: Project: Funk Da World CD
Notorious B.I.G., The: Ready To Die CD
Tool: 10,000 Days (non-deluxe) CD
Live: Four Songs CD
Bjork: Selmasongs CD
Henry Rollins: Big Ugly Mouth CD
Hole: Live Through This CD
Dead Kennedys: Fresh Fruit For Rotting Vegetables CD
Bad Brains: self-titled CD
Posies, The: Dear 23 CD
Les Savy Fav: Inches CD
Savages: Adore Life CD
Die Krupps: Odyssey Of The Mind CD
Peaches: The Teaches Of Peaches CD
VNV Nation: Matter + Form CD
Cyberaktif: Temper CD
Indecision: Release The Cure CD
Dead Kennedys: In God We Trust, Inc. / Plastic Surgery Disasters CD
Live: Mental Jewelry CD
John Cougar Mellencamp: “Paper In Fire” 7”
Bangles: “Hazy Shade Of Winter” 7”
Mike & The Mechanics: “All I Need Is A Miracle” 7”
‘Til Tuesday: “Voices Carry” 7”
Loverboy: “Working For The Weekend” 7”
Glenn Frey: “The Heat Is On” 7”
Fabulous Thunderbirds: “Wrap It Up” 7”
John Cougar Mellencamp: “Small Town” 7”
Jackie ‘The Joke Man’ Martling: Hot Dogs And Donuts CS
Madonna: The Immaculate Collection CS
Jackie ‘The Joke Man’ Martling: Rollin’ With The Punches CS
#personal#Long Island#music#playlists#reviews#mixtapes#comedy#pop#rock#alternative#punk#industrial#electroclash#indie#electronic#jazz#fusion#hip-hop#rap#golden-era#old-school
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Kind of a vent? Idk I’ve never done one of these before
I fucked up. I fucked up really really badly. Id been trying to arrange a catch up between some friends, one who I hadn’t seen in a while and the communication was really really bad. Two of the three people going didn’t have each other on the same communication platform so I was the mediator for plans. Friend A was the one who suggested that we all meet up and I thought it was a great idea snd we’d both mutually decided to invite friend B. Both myself and friend A are really really indecisive so we asked B to help us pick a place and time, they picked something and I told A where and when they’d chosen and we assumed that was that. However, I got the date wrong. And then something happened where B suggested we move the date, and A said the place was too far away, and I have a terrible memory and was trying to remember little details, but B told me that they tell A we were cancelling, but since I, being the idiot that I am, went and gave them the wrong date, B planned to tell A we were cancelling today. They day the event was organised. So they showed up and there was no one else there and god I feel shit right now because I know this was my fault, intentional or not. They never called to ask where we were so I only saw the messages an hour after I’d gotten home this morning, and I swear I think all the blood in my body just dropped to my feet.
A’s been having a really tough time, and even though he told me that he was fine, I don’t think he is at all. I apologised profusely, organised a date properly after getting B on the phone, and even got my parents to message his with an apology from me. But I read their reply and he was really looking forward to it.
And yeah I’ll be honest, the poor communication was the fault of all three of us, but it was still my mistake that caused all of this, and I know how absolutely devastated I would feel if something like that happened to me. Driving all the way out somewhere to meet up with some trusted friends who you’ve really been missing, something that might’ve been the only thing getting you through a tough week, and I know in the end that it’s my fault that that was taken away from them.
So yeah I fucked up really badly and now I don’t know what to do and I feel like there’s a pit in my stomach and I want to go on a very long walk away from everyone and everything, but the UV is too high outside so I’m stuck in my room with my thoughts. Which is the worst place to be stuck with the worst company you could have.
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Me again (age gap crush anon) so indecisive in a very extreme way. Like about everything. But what bothers him is about him having to make ALL the decisions. And I mean ALL of them. Whether it’s what to eat, where to go on our date, what to do when we’re having sex. It’s literally chronic. But it’s because I’ve never been in a relationship before and I don’t want to do anything wrong and somehow by doing that I’ve ruined my entire relationship. I’ve also become like this because of how I’ve been treated by my family ie abuse and it’s not something I can just come out and say!
Anyway so I did end up messaging him and asking him why he seemingly overnight decided he didn’t want to pursue a relationship anymore (In less petty words) and he replied saying that my indecisiveness really stressed him out and being the one who always made the decisions wasn’t something he could see himself constantly doing. Which I get because hello relationships are supposed to be two way things and both parties should give input. But also he’s an adult he could’ve brought this up to me instead of breaking my heart. I’m a big girl I can take a bit of criticism 💀. But what I can’t take is being blind sided and having my heart ripped from my body! Ok now I’m just being dramatic and childish. But for real though like did he know he was gonna break up with me when I was sucking his dick on Saturday?!?!? Cause that’s kinda of a douche move if he did. And you are correct he has definitely lost his soft dom Sam creds (which is unfortunate because I didn’t even get to tell you about the most sds thing he did the other day omg)
Ok you’ll probably be disappointed in me for this but I did end up replying to him and explaining well half explaining (I didn’t mention the abuse) why I’m so indecisive. And I said that if he’d be willing to like do the stuff that B does with you (pushes you to make your own decisions and stuff) and if he’d you know just give me some fuckin time to work on myself a bit then I’d still like to be in a relationship with him… pathetic I know. But even if he’s a bit of a dick I’m fucking head over heels for this guy and I’m also trying to stay on good terms in case I am pregnant because I really don’t want to be a single mom. He���s seen the messages already but hasn’t replied yet but he is at work so I’ll give him that as an excuse.
Nah okay so that's what I suspected you meant by indecisive and you know what bestie I am 100% with you here. That is not something you just break up with someone for. You bring it up, you ask them to work on it and you know, you get to know someone and like you help eachother through that shit idk.
Like breaking up with you for that is SO SO SO dramatic and honestly just such a stupid dumb male thing to do lol.
Nah I don't think you're stupid or anything for that, I get it completely and tbh i think it's pretty valid and I see why you'd want to. It's something he should have at least talked to you about so the fact that he hasn't like, you should for sure say that to him because breaking up with you out the blue, over text, without ever mentioning that this was such a problem for him... So childish bestie.
I also get it, like if you're head over for him and you think it can be saved then point out to him that like it's something you're willing to work on. But also, like you need his support, and that's on him like, if he's too lazy to put even a hint of effort into mentoring you and supporting you then like, fuck him... Well u kmow not literally but figuratively. He's not deserving of you if he isn't willing to support you.
And just like, if he replies and he's a wet lettuce about rhe whole thing don't beg or push him more just be like lol kay your loss bestie (but less petty) you and me can be petty and bitchy on here haha.
It's a shame he's been like this becayse with even the smallest amount of support and nurture you'd have come out your shell in literally just a month or two. Like it doesn't take much to be supportive and build someone's confidence up like that and it's shitty he couldn't be bothered being empathetic there.
Obviously yeah you're gonna be worried about the single mom prospect but honestly like, I don't want to presume to know what your whole family are like, but idk, try not to fear the worst too much, many people will change their perameters of what is okay and not based on what their kids do. Like most people would be anti baby out of wedlock but when it happens to their daughter they are forced to empathise slightly or to deal with a situation. Idk what your whole family are like at all but they may be more accepting in such a situation than you think.
There was a time that I had a lot of issues with my grandparents and my dad over the years because of things that happened with men and sex and stuff and I thought they'd disown me. And it was difficult but ultimately, we're family and I think it's hard for parents to let go of or lose their kids over something they can choose not to lose them over.
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