#boss money gangstas

[japanesemetal]

#sadat x #boss money gangstas #big meg #tommy gibbs #tunes #marco polo

[peculiarte]

#luxury #keep calm #relax #money #cars #haha #power #gangsta #the boss

[btsugarush]

GANGSTA | myg [teaser]

summary: rough sex, blood money, drugs, and gang related activity; four things you never predicted to experience in your simple life. not until you opened your mouth and caught his attention.

pairings: gang leader!yoongi x f!reader

warnings: smut, gunplay, drugs, drug addiction, dark!yoongi, drug lord!yoongi, strong language, gang violence, blood and gore, murder, manipulation, possessive/obsessive behavior, abuse, cheating, angst, fluff, dubcon, implied noncon (not from yoongi but within his gang with his knowledge), 18+, minors dni

word count: 931

Your heels clicked against the pavement as you walked the empty streets alone. You were glad to have picked a restaurant that wasn’t too far from your apartment because nothing was scarier than Daegu at night. It didn’t matter if you lived in the suburbs or not. The freaks tend to come out at night.

Bright headlights suddenly beam behind you, flashing on and off as though the driver was trying to catch your attention. “Hey, Y/N!” A familiar voice called out to you.

You stop walking, watching as a black SUV pulls up beside you. Nam-Joon sticks his head out the window, smirking down at you from the truck. You notice in the car with him are three other guys that you recognize from Yoongi’s gang. You suddenly got this uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach.

“What a coincidence finding you out here, doll,” His eyes raked up and down your body. “You shouldn’t be walking alone at this time of night, especially dressed like that. A lot of suspicious characters roam around this time,”

‘Yeah, and you’re one of them.’ You thought.

“Hop in. We’ll take you home.” He offers, but for some reason it felt backhanded. “No thanks,” you decline. “I’m not far from home, I can handle walking.” You turn on your heels, carrying on with your walk. Nam-Joon slowly follows you in the SUV, not taking no for an answer. “Oh c’mon, I’m just tryna do something nice,” He remained persistent. “At least I’m not leaving you high and dry like your boy Jungkook.”

You come to a complete stop upon hearing Jungkook’s name. How did he know you were meeting Kookie tonight? Better yet– how did he know that Jungkook was a no show? You turn to him, your suspicions heightened. “How did you know I was supposed to be meeting Jungkook?” Joon shrugs his shoulders, a sly grin on his face. “Just an estimated guess. I mean, isn’t he the reason you broke it off with the boss?” The question comes off hostile, almost bitter-like.

You swallowed the lump that sat still in the back of your throat, the atmosphere becoming more ominous by the minute. “So, you gettin’ in?” You shook your head. “I-I’m good...” You move forward, picking up your speed away from the SUV. If he and those other men tried anything you were definitely outnumbered by a long shot. You could hear Joon casually whistling in the distance, and as you peer back at the car you see he’s still sitting where you left him.

Relief washes over you as you turn back to see your apartment come into view. You quickly enter the building, practically sprinting down the hall to your unit. You dig through your purse in search of your key, shifting the clutter of makeup around, but had no luck finding the tiny piece of metal.

The sound of whistling swiftly echoes through the hallway, and your heart begins to pound heavily against your chest in a panic. “Come on, come on, come on...” Your voice quivered in fear. “Where the fuck is it?”

Fed up, you flip your purse upside down and shake out all of its contents; a bunch of makeup, your wallet, and pepper spray all drop to the floor. You continue to shake the bag until finally your key falls out with a loud clunk. You snatch it from the floor, shoving it into the keyway so viciously that you thought the end might snap off. You hastily push open the door before slamming it shut, and locking it behind you.

Your head rests against the doorframe as you try to calm yourself down. You were trembling. Who knows what would have happened if Joon got ahold of you, or if you were moronic enough to get inside that car. You’ve seen firsthand what he’s capable of, and that whole encounter was very minacious. There’s a reason he’s Yoongi’s right hand man.

You check out your peephole, making sure he wasn’t standing outside of your unit. It would take nothing for him to simply kick down this door, but at least the ruckus would catch the neighbor's attention. They could possibly call the police, or at least identify him if they witnessed the ordeal.

It didn’t take a genius to know that Yoongi was behind this. He had to have set this whole thing up. You were stupid to believe he would so willingly let you just end your relationship with him, no matter how cool he played it off. You knew what kind of twisted man he was, you’ve seen him coldly take the lives of others without even a blink or afterthought.

You kicked your heels from your feet, before you shuffled to your bedroom. You debated on calling Kookie again to make sure he was okay. You were beginning to get a really bad feeling that something happened to him.

You pull open the sliding door, switching on your bedroom light as it was pitch black. When the room lights up, you freeze in place, as you’re met with a pair of sinister eyes glaring at you. “Did you enjoy your little date?”

“Y-Yoongi…” Your voice hitches in your throat. The raven haired man is sitting on the end of your mattress, his arms rested on his knees. His hair is hanging in his face, almost covering his eyes. The sight made him look even more feral. “H-how did you get into my apartment?” You questioned timidly.

“I’m a fucking criminal, Princess. Did you forget that?”

#min yoongi #min suga #suga smut #min yoongi x y/n #min yoongi x reader #min yoongi x you #suga x y/n #suga x reader #bts fluff #yoongi smut #suga fluff #suga fanfic #min yoongi fanfic #bts suga #bts min suga #bts min yoongi #yoongi x y/n #yoongi x reader #yoongi x you #bts #agustd #agust d #bts mafia fic #suga x you #bts fic #bts x reader #haegeum #bts x female reader #bts smut #min yoongi smut

[withnofreetime]

Hetalia ☆ World Stars (512, main story) (1/2)

5 days later, I finished. And because it was the 10 most hard-work hours of the week I share it.

Translation notes at the end: ‘cuz I took a lot of “creative freedoms(?)”. Warning: I don’t know Italian, German (my sister know) and Chinese.

Next (2/2) T/N:

Page 1. (Warning: Rough translations)

“Distretto Italia”, this one is obvious “Distric Italy”

“Fratellone” is an informal way to say “big brother”, the formal and literal word is “maggiore fratello” but they’re gangsta.

“Pezzi di merda” is “pieces of sh*t”.

Page 2.

“Chūgoku District”, its name of an island in Japan, but it’s also used to refer to China.

The bad quality in the name of China, so I just invented it: “Great Dinasty”, because the Great Wall and nth dynasties.

“Ya dig?” I’m not British and I don’t know anyone who is, so… sorry.

Page 3.

“Parrain”. Wikipedia has a lot of information about the hierarchy in the French Mafia and they said: “Godfather” like the movie but French (?). Apparently “Parrain” is not as important as “Caïd” who is the “Big Boss” but that changes from family to family.

“Король” means “King”, and has nothing to do with “Tsar”, but it’s also related to the monarchy.

Page 4.

“Amici” the plural way of “friend”, hence “friends”.

“Homo Homini Lupus”, again Wikipedia, is a Latin proverb, “Homo/Homini” is “Human”, and “Lupus” is “Wolf”. It can be translated to “Man is wolf to man”. In other words: “Don’t trust (talk) to strangers, because they can be dangerous”, just thinks about “Little Red Riding Hood”.

“Fratelli d’ Italia” is “Italian Brothers”

“Stahl in unserer Seele” is “Steel in our soul”. I couldn’t find any current or old usage of the phrase, but I didn’t look very hard…

“Rising Sun”, again the quality. But in my country, Japan is the “Country of the Rising Sun” and I REALLY like the name, better Japan than Spain :)

“Grand Master”, I think in Japanese is used to name the Master of the family/house.

Page 6.

“Evviva!” Is like a “Hooray!” But it’s a shout of enthusiasm.

“Figlio di puttana” is “son of a b*tch”.

Page 7.

The “ranks”, not sure about that. I know it’s now about them as players tho (Germany was more lost…).

“Chi trova un amico, trova un tesoro”, an Italian proverb, “who finds a friend, finds a treasure”. The Centro Virtual Cervantes said its usage is very common.

“Grazie!”, “Thanks”.

“Cari tesori”, “dear treasures”, let’s pretend that Japan and Germany don’t know Italian.

Page 9.

“Chi la fa, l’aspetti”, depending on the context (and the person) the proverb can be negative or positive, literal tl: “who makes it, waits for it”, like karma but Italy made it positive. It’s very used.

“Caro amico” is “dear friend”.

Page 10.

“Cost” it’s real money lol. And, uh, please notice the wallet with a rose embroidery from China and ignore what France does.

If you notice an error (most likely), please don’t doubt to say it.

#hetalia world stars #hetalia #aph italy #hws italy #hws germany #hws japan #hws america #hws china #hws england #hws france #hws russia #hws canada #but just a head :( #japanese to english #translation

[ramp-it-up]

Taste

Pairing: Mob Boss! Sam Wilson x Rumlow! Reader; Bucky Barnes x Reader (platonic); Steve Rogers x Reader (platonic); Brock Rumlow x Reader (platonic)

Word Count: around 4K

Warnings: 18+ As always, MINORS DNI, Not Beta’d. All mistakes my own. Childhood hoods, childhood crush, childhood nicknames based upon appearance, young Brock, Steve, Bucky and Sam, skinny Stevie Rogers, sibings being sibings, bratty behavior, Angst, allusion to underage drinking and crime, toxic parents, protective bothers, allusions to underaged drinking, bratty behavior, a punch in the nose (accidental), bloody nose, shirtless Sam, kind of innocent reader, fingering, oral sex (female receiving) loss of virginity, pain during sex, p in v, raw sex (wrap it or don’t tap it), praise kink, after care. This entire fic is comprised of two flashbacks.

A/N: This is in the same AU Try a Little Tenderness and The Representative, and comes directly after Addicted To You. The AU is called This Thing of Ours.

I no longer operate a taglist. Follow @rampitupandread to be notified when I post.

I Do NOT consent to my work being reposted, translated or presented on any other blog or site other than by myself.

You were ten years old, it was 2002, and you were spending the summer in Brooklyn at your father’s house. 

It was long before the mob war that he created which separated your brother Brock from his best friends. 

And it was a time that would change you forever.

The July afternoon was hot and so was the block. Music was blaring from the speakers of someone’s radio and there was a buzz in the air: adolescence, ambition and a potential for violence. 

You a slave to a page in my rhyme book/Gettin' big money, playboy, your time's up/Where them gangstas at?/ Where them dimes at?/They shootin'! Aw, made you look

They called you Bunny because of your teeth and your size. But you were a scrapper and could stand up for yourself. Your father taught you that. 

You also had a smart mouth, and roasted anyone who dared talk about you or your family. 

Your mother taught you that. 

When you came to your father’s house while your mother took her annual girls trip that summer, you found that your big brother was suddenly different. Gone was the quiet gangly 12 year old who drew up plans for world domination in composition books in his room; a wiry 13 year old who had friends who were just as scrappy and hungry as he was had taken his place.

Little Stevie Rogers never backed down from a fight. That’s where his best friend Bucky Barnes came in, backing him up when Stevie was against the wall. Brock was the kid with vision, the one who had a plan to get them where they wanted to be.

In power.

Your brother tried to ignore you, but you trailed after him because there was nothing better to do. One day, you sat in the stoop and watched him and his friends working to open the fire hydrant across the street from your dad’s house.

Your brother felt your eyes on them as you hugged your knees.You were a sight, bushy hair, glasses, braces, and an intense look on your face. He felt bad. 

For a second.

“Why don’t you go on over there and play dolls with Shandy and “n’em, Bunny?”

You glanced over at the girls playing on the next stoop, their braids wilting in the sun. They were playing with stiff dolls with stiff plastic hair and legs that didn’t bend. Not your scene.

You just poked your tongue out at him and moved to stand in the water now dripping out of the hydrant, your strawberry sneakers with the bows getting drenched. You smiled down at them, thinking of how mad your mother would be.

“Aw, c’mon Brock. She ain’t hurtin’ nobody. Let her have some fun.”

Bucky’s blue eyes shone down at you and you pushed up your glasses and looked up at him, squinting in the sun. Stevie’s bony elbow bumped into yours as you hopped to avoid the bruising gush of water along the pavement as they succeeded in their quest.

“Sorry.”

Stevie smiled at you. He really was a nice boy, even though he was pugnacious. Bucky was a smart ass, however.

“You don’t want her to melt, do ya? Your old man would skin you alive.” 

Stevie and Bucky laughed as Brock scowled. He didn’t have time for benevolence or little sisters. He had plans. He shook his head.

“Focus. We gotta stick with the plan. Sammy Wilson is coming over to talk about what’s happening tonight, and she doesn’t need to be around.”

You flipped Brock off behind Bucky and Stevie’s back, and he just scowled harder at you. No matter what you did, he didn’t engage with you like you wanted him to. How boring.

Bucky whistled. 

“Wilson is fast. That dude can run his ass off.”

Sam was on the track team at the high school down the block.

“I can beat him.”

Stevie puffed his bird chest out and Brock and Bucky laughed at him. You felt bad. 

“I believe you Stevie.”

He grinned at you and ducked his head.

Brock rolled his eyes and you flipped him off.

He pointed back at you.

“I’m sick of you. I’m telling Dad.”

You thrilled at the attention.

“Go ahead, I’ll tell him what you’re up to.”

Brock grabbed you by the shirt, snarling.

“You better not say a fucking word.”

You pulled away and landed on the pavement, your knee skinned. You kneeled, bending over to look at it, and to keep your tears inside, when you heard the voice of an angel.

“Need some help?”

You looked up into a face haloed by the sun. You reached for the hand that was offered and stood up to look into the face of 14 year old Sammy Wilson. And you were done for.

That gap tooth smile, those eyes. That skin.

You stared at him as you registered laughter around you. Sam spoke again.

“You okay?”

He seemed like he really wanted to know how you were.

“Y-yeah.”

He chuckled.

“You better clean that off.”

Sam took your hand and led you back over to the hydrant. He kneeled down, cupped water in his hand and cleaned off your knee.

“Sssssss!” 

It stung.

“Sorry. But it’s for your own good.”

You felt warm, and not just from the heat, as you let him take care of you.

You stared at him as he finished.

“That’s the best I can do. You need to get a band-aid.”

“Okay.” 

You would do anything he said. Sam looked up at you and it was like the air was sucked out of your body. You didn’t know what this feeling was, but it intrigued you.

“No problem. I got a little sister at home. Sarah. Just looking out. You gotta be careful.”

He smiled as he stood up and walked away. 

You watched him move over to the other boys, forever changed because that’s when you fell in love with Sammy Wilson.

You spent that last summer in Brooklyn as the unofficial mascot of the Savage Crims, the newest gang on the block. Steve, Bucky, and Sam adopted you and you became scout, lookout, and spy. It was the best summer of your life.

Your mother moved to Los Angeles that fall and took you with her. She started dating more legitimate businessmen, meaning the same type of men as your father, just with generational wealth and privilege.

It was a different world than New York. You went to fancy private schools and learned how to play the game. You were now a “friendly black hottie,” sidekick to the main character in every scene. 

But you were smart. 

As you grew older, you watched and learned and played the part, and soon, you were running the game. By the time you graduated from high school, you were the center of attention, just the way you liked it. 

Your mother was engaged, and you and she were on the cusp of something she’d dreamed of her entire life: being iconic.

You started your first two years in college at UCLA, but you convinced your mother that fashion was how you would enable yourself to meet the best type of men, and that Parsons School of design in New York was the place to be. 

You acted as if you were uninterested in reconnecting with Brock, who your mom thought hadn’t contacted you in eight years aside from telling you that your father had died.

You convinced your mother that you wouldn’t venture off the island of Manhattan, and she believed you because she was in the midst of applying the full court press on her man.

The truth was, you and Brock kept in touch regularly, and you were eager to see your brother again. 

And his friends.

So you flew back East in 2012, 10 years after you left, butterflies threatening to fly out of your mouth as you landed at Laguardia. 

After a few weeks in the city establishing your dominance, you showed up at the boys’offices unannounced. He knew you were in town, and told you about how successful he was now, with the help of Bucky and Steve. 

And Sam. 

You were going to go see just how successful everyone was. 

And how lucky you could get.

“Who the hell is that?”

Bucky peered at the camera about the buzzer to the brownstone. Steve came over to look as well.

“It can’t be… Brock, c’mere.”

“What is it? We’re trying to work out this next shipment…”

Brock looked at the camera as Sam watched his jaw drop from the table.

“Who is it?”

“Fuck! That’s Bunny!”

Brock backed up as Steve pressed the buzzer. He opened the door to wait for you to climb the stairs.

“Stevie!?” 

Your excited shriek was muffled as the now beefy blonde picked you up immediately to twirl you around into the loft space.

You stood back, feeling his muscles through his shirt.

“Wow! You have filled out.”

“I must have learned from you…” 

Steve looked you up and down when you heard a roar in your ear.

“Bunny!”

Bucky gave you a bear hug to where you couldn’t breathe. You pounded his back and punched him in the pecs when he let go. You caught your breath and then turned to Brock, whose eyes were shining.

“God, you’re grown up. You’re not my little Bunny anymore.”

“Shut up, stupid.”

You embraced your brother, surprised at your emotion. You were choking up, about to sob in his arms.

“I missed you.”

You whispered into his shirt.

“Missed you too, kid.”

You let him go and you dabbed at your eyes. You heard someone clear their throat and looked over to see Sam standing next to you.

“Hey Sammy!”

You tried to make your voice light, so as not to betray your feelings. You’d replayed this moment in your mind a million times.

He was a man now. And damn. What a man. Tall, dark and handsome. But with that same smile. 

Sam tried to be cool. Brock was right. You weren’t little any more. A full grown woman. He tried to not check you out because he knew Brock was watching, but damn. You were beautiful. All over.

“Well? Can I get a hug?”

Sam unfroze himself.

“Of course.”

You seemed to melt into him, your breasts pressed against his chest, his lats seeming to mold around you. He could do this all day. 

When Sam opened his eyes, he saw Bucky’s raised eyebrow and he released you, stepping back and over to the table to try and pretend that all of his senses were not tuned on you.

“How’s Sarah?”

Sam smiled.

“Good. You should call her.”

You smiled back

“I will.”

Bucky interrupted.

“Tell me all about your socialite world, Ms.Y/L/N.”

You rolled your eyes.

“Rumlow ‘til I die.”

You locked eyes with Sam.

“Who does a girl have to screw to get a drink around here?”

You joked and the room fell silent.

“No one.” Brock deadpanned. “And you’ll wait another year until you’re legal.” 

You rolled your eyes.

“Yes, like everything is legal up in here.”

It was just like old times: you giving them all hell. Although Sam’s hell was different now. 

Bucky handed you a bottle of water.

“Thanks Buck!” 

You sat and crossed your legs across from Sam and Brock.

“So. How’s things?”

You four talked for hours, ordering pizza from Sal’s and shooting the shit. It was almost midnight when they drew straws to see who would take you home. Sam drew the short straw. 

Lucky him.

You rode in the passenger seat of Sam’s BMW, arms folded across your chest, an adorable bratty pout on your delectable lips. He’d been watching that mouth all night, torturing himself with visions of those in various places on his body. He was getting hard. 

Sam stifled a moan which he tried to play off.

You jumped a little when he growled at you.

“What the hell is wrong with you, little girl?”

You turned toward him, mad.

“First of all, I’m not a little girl any more.”

“Yeah, Right.”

It sounded dismissive, but Sam was really just agreeing with you.

“Second of all, y’all really drew straws to take me home?”

You glared at him as he laughed at your outrage.

“I’m not the little tagalong from years ago. I didn’t even need you to take me home. I could call anyone to come get me. To come get this.”

You held up your flip phone and indicated your body. Sam’s dark eyes took you in and felt possessive. Holy shit, he was in deep. 

“I’m sure you got lots of hardheads after you.” 

Sam clenched his jaw and looked back at the road as he drove to The Village.

“We’re busy men, Bunny. We got important work to do. Brock will be working for a couple more hours, Bucky is running the streets, and Steve probably has a date right now…”

“At 1 am? You mean a booty call.”

Sam continued, ignoring you.

“But what will never change is us protecting you. We’re family, Bunny.”

You pushed his head and he glared at you.

“Same little boys is all I see. Important crimes, you mean.”

You huffed back into your seat, your breasts bouncing in your spandex dress. Sam fought to keep his eyes on the road.

“I’ll show you a little boy. Don’t try me, Bunny.”

You turned back to him, batting your eyes, but your attitude on 1000.

“I’d love to try you Sammy.”

Sam had the urge to take you by the throat and slide you up and down his dick, but he just squeezed the steering wheel harder, trying to ignore you. 

“Hey Sammy.”

He sideyed you. Your voice was too sweet.

“Let’s go get a drink.”

“Fuck no!”

“C’mon, don’t be a prude. I drank all the time in Europe this summer.”

“In case you haven’t noticed, this isn’t Europe, and I don’t give a fuck.”

You sat back in your seat, grumbling and frustrated. He would never see you as anything but little Bunny. By the time you got to campus, you didn’t even wait for Sam to park before you jumped out. He caught up with you, long legs gaining ground quickly. He grabbed your arm.

“Hey!”

“Let me go!”

You turned around and popped him in the nose by reflex.

“Shit!” 

Sam held his face and doubled over.

“Oh, my damn! I’m sorry Sammy. Let me see.”

“Stop…”

Sam pulled away from you and as his hands moved, blood spattered all over his shirt and the concrete below him.

“Oh no. Oh no. I’m so sorry.”

Sam was moving away.

“Just.. leave me alone. I’m okay…”

“No you’re not. I’m sorry Sammy. Come up to my place. Please. I’ll clean you up.”

Sam opened his watery eyes to see your remorseful face and let you lead him up to your apartment, up three flights of stairs. You took him immediately to the bathroom and you washed him up, giving him a wet washcloth and telling him to lean his head forward, indicating the toilet.

Sam sat down and did as he was told, pinching the bridge of his nose.

You sat on the floor below him and stared up at him, hugging your knees.

“I’m so so so so sorry Sammy…”

He looked at you, silent, and continuing to pinch his nose.

You stayed with him for 15 minutes until he stopped bleeding and stood up again, cleaning up a bit more. You felt so bad.

You stared at his shirt as he stood.

“Jeez, Sammy, take that shirt off, let me soak it.”

Sam remained silent, but took off his shirt.

You bent over to get some hydrogen peroxide from the cabinet, scrubbed the shirt a little, then soaked it in cold water.

Sam was watching your ass, almost feral at the fact that you were such a brat. You needed to be tamed. But you were Brock’s kid sister. He was so torn. 

“You can grab a sweatshirt out of my –” 

You turned around toward and stopped mid thought, mind blank at the sight of Sam’s shirtless form.

“Holy shit.”

Sam gave you a lopsided grin.

“You keep sweatshirts in your holy shit?”

You didn’t even hear the tease, just licked your lips as you stepped toward him.

“Sammy?”

Sam gulped and tried to calm down. But the look on your face was everything at the moment. He knew he probably should have, but he didn’t stop you as you entered his space. You reached your hand up to his nose.

“Are you ok?”

“I think so.” 

Sam reached up and manually shifted his nose. 

“Probably just broken for the third time. Been in a couple of scraps.”

Your fingers entwined with his and you brought them to your lips. Tears started to slide down your face.

“I’m sorry.”

Sam wiped the tears from your face with his thumbs.

“Don’t cry. I’m ok.”

He pulled you in for a hug, and then leaned back.

As you looked up at him, he whispered, “So damn beautiful, Bunny…” 

Suddenly, he was kissing your face, collecting your salt water with his lips. Then, he pulled away.

“What are we doing?” 

You began to nuzzle his palm, while your hands reached for his pecs.

“Stop thinking so much, Sammy…”

“Thinking’s what got us into this..”

You nodded.

“D’you know how long I’ve been thinking about this?”

Your eyes followed your hands as they traced his chest, then his sternum down to his happy trail. His stomach clenched at the sensation. He was too far gone.

“How long?”

“From the first time someone tried to be with me sexually. I never really wanted to, I mean I’ve messed around, I can suck your soul out, but I’ve never wanted anyone inside of me.”

You were tracing his hard on outside of his pants, your face upturned now.

“Are you trying to say that…you’re…”

You nodded again.

“You were always in the back of my mind, Sam. I only want you.”

Sam tilted his head downward and captured your lips in a kiss, as though it were inevitable.

You both drew back and then your lips crashed together again, your bodies pressed up against each other urgently.

The kiss was everything you ever imagined and everything Sam didn't know that he wanted. Your hands went for his belt buckle. At that moment, Sam placed his hands on your arms and pushed you away from him.

“We can’t do this.”

You nodded, stepped back and took a deep breath.

“You’re right. You’re one of my brother’s best friends. No need for you to pop my cherry or anything.”

You two stared at each other. Then you licked your lips. Sam cocked his eyebrow, trying to restrain himself from the animalistic urges your filthy mouth gave him.

“You little brat.”

Sam grabbed your neck to pull you close to him. He reached down to pull your skirt up and he rubbed your ass like he was trying to shine it. He then put both hands on you to spread your cheeks apart. Your wetness was evident in the sound. You buried your face in his chest, embarrassed.

“Sounds like you really want this.”

For once in your life, you were speechless, and Sam reached down and angled your head up so he could look at you.

“I need you tonight Sam.”

You kissed him again and tried to get on your knees. But Sam stopped you and led you over to your bed.

“You’re the queen right now.”

You pulled off your dress and stood there in your bra and panties as Sam pulled you toward your bed to lay beside him, his hand caressing down the side of your body. 

He moved his fingers over the lace of your bra to find your nipple, and when it was discovered, he pinched it to see your reaction. The way your eyes closed halfway and your mouth opened was everything. He reached behind you to expertly unhook your bra and looked down on you.

“You're so beautiful.”

And he dipped his head running his tongue around the edges of your areola, making your nipple rock hard against his breath. Then, he started sucking in earnest, his huge hand going to tweak and play with the other. You threw your head back in earnest, the feeling in your cunt growing with each pull of his mouth. You started moaning.

“You mean to tell me…. That no one has ever… had the pleasure…”

Sam asked the important question between having his mouth on you. He couldn’t get enough.

You shook your head and furrowed your brow. It was taking you out of the moment. Sex was just a means to an end for you up until now.

“I suck them off, and they’re satisfied. S’not a big deal….. Ahhhhh.”

Sam stopped what he was doing to look into your eyes. 

“It is a big deal, Bunny. You deserve everything.”

Sam tenderly kissed your lips as he pulled your panties off, and then returned to your breasts. Tears slipped down your face to the pillow beneath your head as he finally parted your legs. His hand, led by his long middle finger slid down your wet, wet folds to play in your slick. 

“Mmmmmm. That’s that shit I like.” 

Sam rumbled in his chest, and the vibrations reached your nipple, causing you to arch into his mouth and hand. Sam’s fingers worked your clit and you could feel it get hard and plucky. You heard the sloshing wetness of your arousal. So did Sam. He pulled off to look at you again.

“You ever play with yourself?”

The look on his face was part possession and part genuine concern.

“Of course. But not this goooddddd…. Shit Sam. I just hit it and quit it…. Fuckkkk that feels good.”

Sam was plucking your nipple with one hand and rubbing your clit in expert circles with the other, watching the ecstasy on your face as you neared your peak. 

“C’mon for me now. Cum. right here in my hand…Yes…. That’s a girl…”

It hit you like a ton of bricks.

“Holy mother of……ssshhhhhhiiiiittttt! Sam! Fuckkkk fuck fuck fuck!”

You tried to grab his hand to move it away, but he was strong. Oh so strong. He didn’t stop.

“Sam… I… Sam stop..I can't…”

“You can, and you will. Take it. You’re tough. You can take it.” 

You convulsed as your pulses slowed down and you tried to relax.

“That’s a girl. Just give it to me. Let me have it. Love that shit. You’re beautiful right now, you know that?”

You calmed under his praise and got into the groove of his pleasure.

Sam’s fingers started exploring you, one of them sliding easily inside you, so he added another, but when he reached the second knuckle, you clamped down hard.

“Shit, Bunny. You’re so so tight.”

Sam looked at you with lust and you could feel his cock throbbing against your thigh, his precum making a mess.

“Thought that first one would have loosened you up. Looks like you need at least one more.”

Your eyes grew wide as he slid down your body, fingers still inside you, but now his mouth clamping around your clit, which was still sensitive. Your knees closed around his head and he pried them off with one hand.

“Take it Bunny. You deserve.”

It was the last thing he said before he destroyed your soul with his mouth. He licked and sucked and lapped, and his fingers slid inside you and curled the spark of pain muted by the fireworks behind your eyes as you came harder than you ever had in your life, including a few minutes earlier.

“Hnnnnh, hunnnnnnhh. Sam…”

He was kneeling up now, grabbing for his pants and a condom. When you saw the foil packet, you stopped him.

“No Sammy. Wanna feel you.”

Sam raised his eyebrow.

“Mom put me on the pill when I was 13. It’s like a vitamin now. I’m good.”

Sam nodded and his thumb went to your still vibrating clit as he swiped his head in your viscous slit. He managed to pop his thicker-than-you-thought head inside you, but you yelped in pain as he tried to slide in.

He leaned down, arms on either side of your head as you clutched his shoulders.

“You good?”

You nodded, tears in your eyes as you smiled.

“I want it, I need it. Give it to me.”

Sam looked at you, shook his head and smiled.

He slid inside you slowly, seeming to grow wider and longer with each inch that he gave you. The burning between your legs was soothed by his praise and tender kisses on your forehead.

“There you go.  Feels so so good for me Bunny. You’re doing so good. I can’t believe this… Make me wanna cum already. This pussy is so tight. And so good. Better than I’ve ever had…”

Sam relaxed you, and you began to enjoy that he was taking you apart. When your moans matched his thrusts was when he started to give it to you, his will power waning.

You were the epitome of desire.

He hiked your leg above his hip so that he could dig deeper and his thumb found your clit again.

“One more Bunny. Just one more…”

He felt you flutter around him and he gripped the base of his cock. 

“Sammy….”

“Yes… oh… fuck yes….”

“Ohhh! Ah!”

Your cream gushed around him as you came and Sam grunted and let go inside you.

“Fuuuuucckkkkkkkk aahhhhhhh ahhhh. Fuck!”

Sam felt like he his balls would never empty and he slumped on top of you, feeling your arms snake around him to hold him.

“Mmmm… Sammy.”

He could hear the smile in your voice. He leaned up off of you and kissed your nose, looking into your eyes.

“Are you okay?”

You smiled at him and Sam’s heart was gone. You had it locked up.

“Better than okay.”

He kissed you again.

“Stay right here.”

He went to the bathroom, coming backwith a washcloth and tenderly cleaned you up. You heard the bath running.

“You’re going to be sore.”

“Yes. I’m going to feel you for a week.”

Sam grinned and you saw his cock come to life. You smirked and gingerly moved ot get out of bed.

“Join me in the bathtub Sammy. Wanna try the wet and wild….”

Sam was hypnotized by the sway of your ass.

He didn’t think of the implications of what just happened. He’d had a taste, and his hunger was voracious. He just wanted you.

And that would become a problem.

Reblogging is always a good thing if you liked it.

#sam wilson #sam wilson x reader #mob boss! Sam Wilson x Rumlow! Reader #sam wilson x rumlow! reader #mob boss! sam wilson #this thing of ours au #sam wilson x black! reader #steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes x reader #brock rumlow #brock rumlow x reader #mob!steve rogers #mob! bucky #mob! sam wilson #Sam x Bunny #ttoo

[thementalshawty]

Weekly & Monthly Report!

So I realize that most people didn’t really like the weekly readings and updates so I decided for the ones that do to be quick about it, I shall give a little bullet point reading about certain events that can and may happen this week for those in the collective I shall also do a little sneak peek of this month! It’s a new month my patreon members try to get your questions into me this week! Love ya & if you want the full read and details join my madhouse patreon! Link is below.

For some of you there’s going to be some kind of situation or relationship with some man that’ll be important this week, whether it be your sibling, friend, boss, Co-Worker, SO, etc. some kind of important dealing with this male may or shall take place this week.

This week overall will be filled with peace and harmony I’m seeing lots of the collective feeling relieved or lighthearted and very flowy this week, very go with the flow type of energy this week for the collective yasss. Wind chimes may be a sign of importance this week, maybe some will hear the rest may see, some both I’m hearing.

Some of you will be tempted to lower your standards to make things easier or to accept less than you deserve this week and I’m seeing your guides saying AHT AHT AHT! Let’s not do that! DO NOT SETTLE FOR SHIT THIS WEEK! Only what you want and deserve only! Seeing a flag may be of importance maybe lowering your flag I’m seeing queer flags so my 🏳️‍🌈 🏳️‍⚧️ ⚧️ including myself, LETS NOT LOWER OUR STANDARDS FOR NOBODY!

I’m seeing four leaf clovers 🍀! Good luck and great fortune for the collective this week, some money big or small is coming in for you guys Yass get that mfcn bag Hunny 💋!

Your health is something you guys need to pay attention to this week, be extra cautious some of you may be getting into accidents. Getting sick, feeling down, just be mindful and take care this week. Maybe some of you guys are getting over an illness this week too!

Spiritual love is entering, I’m hearing for some it’s romantic and for others it’s platonic. You’ll feel so connected with this person, like they just get you through and through, this is a soulmate! So gear up, it can even mean spiritual awareness and awakening within your own selves! Giving that spiritual love to yourself.

Something that was done in the past is what will financially come to you this week, idk how it’ll play out for the entire collective, but everyone seems to be having some mula coming in hunny yassssssss 👏🏽

Now it’s time for your monthly energy

Funny this month there’s going to be some kind of dealing or something with a woman with dark hair, eyes, vibe or complexion this month for some of you, I’m not sure if it’s a healthy person, if they’re not all i do know is that some of you will be experiencing the dark vibes.

There will be a loss, and there’ll be some sorrow over it but I’m hearing it’s for the best even tho ain’t nobody wanna be hearing that shit in the moment of thag loss but I’m seeing that there is something that’s ending this month for the collective and I’m seeing some sadness over it. A breakup for some I’m hearing.

Someone will be testing your gangsta this month, someone will be trying to oppose you, and make you back down but I’m seeing that your guides want you to show strength and boldness don’t back down from anyone this month.

For some there’ll be spiritual growth and increase for others its material wealth increase, but again INCREASE this month!

Whatever you’re going through this month, if you persevere you will overcome whatever issues that will come your way this month cos like every month there’s lesson and shit needs to be done in order for you to advance. Just keep swimming I heard.

There’s a rat 🐀 amongst you guys and they’re wishing bad & working against you behind your bacc like always be cautious, move in silence, & protect your energy.

This month you’ll be doing something risky or be faced with a risky move that’ll require you to make a decision and take a chance I’m not the type to tell you guys what to do just trust yourselves!

That is all folks again if you want the full extended report the link to my patreon is here

HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT RESONATED & SOME MO SHIT 😂 LOVE YOU GUYS HAPPY APRIL AND HAVE A GREAT WEEK!

#tarot reading #tarotblr #tarot community #psychic #tarot cards #free tarot reading #tarot witch #gothic #nu goth #free tarot #weekly reading #monthly reading #patreon #SoundCloud

[dejwrites]

DEBT, CHAPTER EIGHT

➣ warnings: yakuza boss!toji fushiguro x black coded reader, mentions of sex, mentions of sex work, profanity, gang violence, yakuza au, baby!megumi, drug mentioned, alcohol usage, drug usage, stripping, naoya being naoya, ➣ chapter summary: y/n learns more about nanami and bonds with her favorite fushiguro's.

➣ tags: @maydayaisha @eiflawriting @thicksimpx @hellavile @ihateliyah @galaxness @ceeriusly-dumb @stephanythedramaqueen @littlemochi @babe-im-bi @todo7roki @whatdidhesayyyy @imperatorkhaleesi @caribbeanwifey19 @etaerealboy

[ masterlist + previous + you can aslo read it on ao3 ]

YOU STARED INTO THE MIRROR APPLYING ANOTHER COAT OF LIP GLOSS. You rubbed your plump lips together, mixing the combo of your clear gloss and brown liner. The pastel blue top that has your boobs sitting perfectly and pretty. You were so nervous. It was your first time working a shift at such a provocative club and you could feel the nervous knot in your stomach twisting and turning constantly. You heard someone place something next to you on your personalized vanity that was for you. “Take a shot of this, the first night is always the roughest.” A girl said.

You turned to look at the girl. She had on a cropped tank top and you could see her black push-up bra that pushed her boobs up. She also was wearing a pair of black shorts with a Fanny pack that you assumed was for her to collect tips. Her head was filled with curls that fell in her face perfectly. “It’ll go by as quickly as possible.” She adds while she would grab some lotion from the vanity next to yours.

After you down the alcohol, letting the harsh brown liquor burn your throat, you watched as the girl would put lotion on her legs. Her light brown skin glistened with each stroke on her legs. You now were taking in her features as you noticed that she could have been mixed with black. She smiled at you before extending her hand, the scent of vanilla lingered up your nostrils as she waited for you to introduce yourself. 

“I’m Hana.”

“Y/N.” You shook her hand. 

“You’re the new dancer? I’ve heard some little things about you.” Hana picked up the bottle to put the cap back on it.

“Hopefully good things?” You asked. 

“Something like that, but you know a club where a lot of the employees are women can get messy,” Hana says. She glances at the clock, “Ah, it’s been thirty minutes since we opened. I should get back to my station behind the bar,” She extends her hand for you to grab. “Let’s go. You can’t hide in here away from the money for long. Plus, I’m positive it’s some gangstas in here that like to spend their money on pretty women like you.” Hana explains as she nudges you. 

You couldn’t help but smile at her as you took her hand. The once nervous pit that sat heavy in your stomach washed away as you made a new friend at work. You two walked into the main space where music blared through speakers and the scent of expensive cigars swirled around the air, you took note of your surroundings. Some women were giving some men lap dances and others were swirling around the pole. You remembered your manager mentioned that they rotate who dances on the main stage, but due to you being new it would take some time for you to get your time to shine. Tonight your role was to just do some lap dances to be able to cover the percentage you gave to your manager and then some for you to take home. 

Hana would give your hand a comforting squeeze as she was searching the room for a free man. She finally spotted a man in the corner in one of the private sections. All of his friends were chatting it up with a woman on their lap, except for him. She dragged you to the bar like a lost puppy searching for its owner, she went behind the bar and grabbed a bucket with ice and placed a bottle of whiskey in it. “Take this over there.” She motions her head to the section. “He looks rich.” She adds.

“I don’t know Hana, he doesn’t look like he wants to be bothered.” You said as she shoved the bucket in your hand. 

“Y/N, he’s staring at your ass,” Hana says as she would give you a look. “Go let him grab on it for an expensive price. Now go!” She gave you a light shove in the direction of the man.

With your head held high, you walked with so much sex appeal that many men you walked by heads turned to cop a look. You approached the security guard that was blocking anyone from coming into the section. You batted your eyelashes up at him and smiled at him, “I have a bottle on the house.” You held up the bucket. 

“Let her in.” 

You glanced behind the huge bodyguard and saw that the man who was staring at you had finally spoken. The guy moved with quickness letting you walk into the section. You smiled at him before you placed the bucket on the table. You were completely speechless, expecting the mysterious man to shun you away. However, here he sat with his thighs spread apart and drinking in your looks with his alluring hazel-colored eyes. Some of the buttons on his button-down shirt were undone and you could see the noticeable scar that was imprinted across his neck.  “You want to make yourself comfortable or you’re just going to let me keep staring?” He questioned as his lips curved into the most gorgeous smile you’ve ever seen. 

You searched around and saw the majority of the seats were taken before catching the flow of his words. His lap, you thought to yourself. You forced a chuckle before taking comfort in his lap. Even though he was the one to suggest taking a place on his lap, you could tell that you had him quite riled up to the point where he didn’t even know where to put his hands. As you shifted yourself on his lap, you grabbed one of his hands and placed it right on your lower back. His fingertips were able to trace the line of the g-string you were wearing. 

“I can pull you a drink if you want,” You leaned over to do just that but stopped you. 

His fingers snapped after he stopped you from pouring the liquor into one of the glasses. The bodyguard that once was guarding the entrance of the section hurried to pour the alcohol you brought over into the glasses. You sat in complete shock before your eyes met with his and you leaned over closer to his ear so he could hear you. While also letting him get a complete view of your cleavage and for him to be entrapped with the expensive scent of you, “You seem like a quite important man,” You said before leaning back. 

You watch as he chuckles, feeling his fingertips tapping at your lower back before he’s leaning towards your ear. 

“That’s because I am.” He said with confidence.

“Hello, earth to Y/N. You can’t zone out like that if you’re going to have to fight someone.” You heard Nanami say behind the punching bag he was holding in place. 

“I’m sorry, I just have a lot on my mind with this charity ball coming up.” You sighed as you brought your forearm up to your forehead to wipe away some sweat.

You’ve been training all morning from seven to now. Nanami taught you basic methods like getting out of chokeholds and defense methods. Then he ended the session by just letting you punch away at the punching bag that hung from the ceiling. Just to see how hard you punch, which according to him he thought you punched pretty good considering this was the first session. 

“I told you the first time when we met, don’t think too deeply into the tasks you’re assigned. You should be used to it now,” Nanami would walk to the mini fridge that was in the corner of his at-home gym. He grabbed two bottles of water and handed you one. 

“But come on, you’re telling me it doesn’t sit heavy in your mind when Toji assigns you a task?” You questioned as you took a sip from your water. 

“Of course it does. All the time considering that I’m the only engaged one in the damn gang.” Nanami admitted as he would prompt himself onto the floor. 

You joined him on the floor, stretching your tired limbs. “Engaged? I didn’t know you were freakin’ engaged Kento!” You shriek in excitement with a smile. “Congratulations, oh my god. We should throw you an engagement dinner or something,” You clapped your hands.

Nanami's lips parted to argue, considering that he and his fiancé have been engaged for six months now. It was a little too late to congratulate him with dinner parties. They had already set up meetings with planners and such. “Thank you.” He smiles. “She went to go visit her parents, I would love for you to meet her.” He said.

“Aww, look at you all in love and shit,” You say with a smile. “So, you think about her when you do illegal shit?” 

“Of course, all the damn time. I fear that maybe one day it’ll come back to bite me in the ass. The money I earn by doing what I do is what got us this house and anything she asks for, which she makes it clear she doesn’t care for. But to me, it’s what she deserves.” Nanami explains. “So of course, all of this shit sits heavy in my mind especially when she’s pregnant.”

“Nanami! She’s pregnant too! Oh my god, we need to plan a baby shower too!” You said in excitement. 

“She doesn’t know that I know,” Nanami says as he watches you give him a confused look. “I know her so well that I can tell when something is up. She was eating a fucking banana one morning, she hates them things. Then I found the test in the trash.” 

“And you haven’t talked to her about it?” You questioned.

“No, she has me reading this book she likes and I’m pretty sure by the time I get to the very last page of the book, it’s going to have a sticky note on a page stating she’s pregnant,” Nanami explained. “Books are kinda our thing.” 

Nanami looked at you and he let out a sigh. “Please don’t cry, what I said wasn’t even that sad.” 

You didn’t even notice that your eyes began to water at the way Nanami described his relationship with his fiancé. You went up to wipe your eyes before speaking, “Please let me at least throw you two an engagement dinner. It can be a surprise for her, I’ll even let you take the credit for it.” 

“Toji was right. You never let anything go. Fine.” Nanami threw his hands up in defeat. “We’re all done here, I’m sure Toji is on his way to come to pick you up.” Nanami stood up extending his hand for you to take which you did letting him help you up with grace.

“Thanks for this. I feel like a Charlie’s Angel now.” You giggled before following him up the stairs. You took note of how Nanami’s and his fiancé's house was decorated. It felt so homey and welcoming. You knew that the two of them would be wonderful parents. 

Nanami heard a horn honk outside his house. He would look at you, “You ever shot a gun before?” 

“Of course not. I’m a stripper,” You responded bluntly.

“Well, you’re gonna have to learn. I may have to talk to Toji about it first, but I think it’s for the best and your safety,” Nanami explained as he was walking towards the front door. 

“Do your fiancé know how to?” You asked out of curiosity. 

“She’s a military brat, of course, she does,” Nanami says as he opens the door. The two of you saw Toji waiting outside in his freshly cleaned jet-black Benz truck. The sun was out and he had the tinted windows down so you two were able to see him. 

He sat on the driver’s side with a pair of Ray Bans on with a white t-shirt. You could even see his muscles flex with just the littlest movement while he was waiting. Sometimes you found yourself staring at him due to his attractive looks. He always had you feeling all hot when you weren’t supposed to. Having to remember that getting attached wasn’t the best thing considering the things that were going on. However, you couldn’t just let the way he stared at you on some occasions just get brushed under the rug. Sooner or later, you had a feeling that either he was going to make a move or you were going to get too impatient with him and make the move yourself. 

“Wow, she gets even cooler the more I hear about her. Remember, let me do the planning for this dinner and you take the credit. I’ll keep you posted. Thank you for today Kento,” You would smile at him as you walked down the pathway towards Toji’s car. 

As you got closer, you would smile at Toji. “The training session went well,” You spoke as you got into the passenger side of the car. You could hear the baby babbles in the back of the car. 

Toji begins driving towards his house. “I have been doing some thinking,” He says. His hand grasped at the steering wheel before he’s tugging the shades off his eyes to get a better look at the road.

“It better not be another little Zenin-Fushiguro favor. You and Naoya are driving me insane,” You folded your arms over your chest. “For now on little Megumi is the only one I will do favors for.” You joked causing Toji to chuckle.

“Oh, so you’re in debt with Megumi now?” He asked.

“Maybe,” You laughed. “But seriously, what were you thinking about? It better not be to talk me out of this charity ball. I can’t pass up the opportunity to get more information about my father’s whereabouts and wear that gorgeous dress.” You admitted.

And you wanted to see him. You haven’t seen that man that Naoya suspected of being the head of the Endo yakuza gang in months. The last time you saw him, he paid you so much money before just disappearing and it frustrated you that you didn’t even know his name. Just knew he was handsome, pretty powerful, and had a thick wallet. 

“It doesn’t have anything to do with the charity ball. I have to trust Naoya to keep you safe during the ball since I’m not invited to it,” Toji explained. “He knows clearly that if something happens to you, I would kill him,” Toji said with a grin.

The grin he had on his face showed you that he was extremely serious about what he said. 

“Well, what were you thinking about?” You asked as you looked at him. 

“Let me cook for you tonight.” Toji firmly said as he stopped at a red light. His eyes glanced over at you waiting for a response.

“You cooking?” You asked as you met his gaze.

“I know how to cook a few things,” Toji pointed out. “I was going to suggest going out for dinner, but I thought this was better to get to know each other some more.” 

“I would love that Toji,” You said with a smile that he returned. 

“Great!” Toji says. “But if it’s gross, you have to be honest with me and tell me.” He sighs.

“Oh believe me, I will!” You said out loud. “But I’m sure it can’t be that bad, just make it with love,” You said. “That’s what my mom used to tell me when she cooked for me.” 

“And if I do and it’s still nasty?” Toji asked as he stopped at a red light.

“Then we order carry out,” You said with a laugh. “You can’t go wrong with that, right?” You flashed him a grin that he would slyly return before continuing down the street in his nice car.

When you returned to Toji’s house, evening settled the Fushiguro household quickly. While the moon shined down on the luxury mansion, you found yourself showering and changing into something more comfortable. You followed the savory scent of food back downstairs, you could even hear Megumi’s babbling as he was in the playpen playing with his toys. The loud sound of his baby drum set attempted to overpower the sound of Toji cooking in the kitchen. When you stepped into the kitchen, you washed your hands glancing at Toji who was reading from a cookbook (that you didn’t even know he had).  “Do you need me to help?” You asked and you watch as Toji’s eyes averted from the pages of the book to you. 

“I think, I have it handled.” 

“You think?” You asked and he gave you a blank look before closing the book he was reading through.

“Please cut those onions over there for me, I’ll greatly appreciate it.” He flashed you a kind smile that made you chuckle. 

“You got it, chef,” You jokingly say before you’re doing the task he asked you to do. 

The two of you basking in each other silence. The only sounds that occupied the first level of Toji’s home were Megumi’s chaotic noise of him drumming on his toys and the sound of something boiling. “So, I think we should throw Kento and his fiance an engagement dinner,” You said out loud.

“It’s a little late for that, they’ve been engaged for a while now.” Toji stirred what was in the pot he was boiling. 

“I know, but I’m just learning of the engagement. I think it’ll be a nice gesture even though I told him, I’ll say it was all his idea.” You explained. “Plus, it’ll be fun for everyone to whine down once in a while. Which I understand, you guys have dangerous things to handle—” 

Your rambling was interrupted by Toji. “If that’s what you want to do for him and his fiance, do it. I kinda took you away from your job to help me and I understand you’re probably bored as hell. So, if planning a dinner party for the lovebirds would cure your boredom, go for it. Just please let me know when you want to go out and look at venues and such, just so I can make sure someone takes you.” Toji explained. 

“It’s what Kento deserves. I’m happy that he’s happy, so it’s on me. You know where to find me if you need the card,” Toji told you before he went back to stirring the substance in the pot. 

“Urgh, I’m never going to get out of debt with you.” You said jokingly while cutting up the onions.

“You are, we just need to figure out this situation with the Endo gang,” He says. “But no debt talk tonight, this is supposed to be me cooking for you,” Toji says as he lowered the flame on what was on the stove. He took a couple of steps forward to collect the knife from your hand, his hand lightly brushing against yours while he took it. “I got it from here, just relax, and please see if it’s another toy Megumi can play with. The little rockstar is giving me a headache with the banging,” He lightly nudged you towards the exit of the kitchen, eventually going back to his Gyudon recipe he was trying to cook. 

You did what you were told, letting your feet be met with the grey-colored rug in the living room that contrasted the living room sofas very well. You walked towards the playpen where Megumi was continuing to bang on his toy drum set. You wanted to assume either Gojo or Geto brought him that toy, you felt like those two were the type to buy the nosiest toy for the baby just to spite Toji. You leaned over to collect the toy, but you watched as Megumi's green hues stared up at you before he’s extending his arms for you to pick him up. His baby hands sprouting outward and his fingers wiggling with an innocent doe-eyed look just so you can embrace him. 

“Do not pick him up! He does that look when he’s ready to get out of the playpen!” You heard Toji say, but his statement was too late since you already scooped Megumi up in your arms. 

You held him closely while the scent of baby powder and Toji linger up your nose. It was a pleasant scent that you had grown accustomed to within your time of living here. Your hand caressed his head feeling his soft dark hair as she was waltzing around the living room with him in your arms. He was laying perfectly on your chest with his pacifier in his mouth before you walked into the kitchen with him. 

“You picked him up?” Toji said as he tugged out dishes from the cabinet. 

The smell of nicely seasoned beef now swirled around the kitchen as you were holding Megumi. “He gave me a look and I couldn’t resist.” Your lips form a cute pout. “Look at the green eyes, you can’t say no to that Toji.” You said.

“Was it this look?” Toji mimics the same look Megumi gave you for you to pick him up. It took you by shock to see the striking resemblance between the two. Obviously, they were going to look alike, but their shared green-colored eyes were what caused your heart to feel heavy. 

“Yes.” You answered as you sat Megumi on the kitchen island. 

“Where’d you think he learned it from?” Toji chuckled as he exit the kitchen to go set the table. 

As you stood in the kitchen with Megumi who was toying with the diamond pendant from the necklace Toji gave you, you felt a sense of home. The soft feeling of being comfortable around Toji and Megumi was a feeling you never experienced before. It was like finally being able to unclench your jaw and relax your shoulders after having your guide up your whole day. You felt safe here. 

Even though once your tasks were over with and your debt was cleared up, you would have to unravel yourself from them. And the thought of that hurt. 

“So much for getting attached, huh?” You asked yourself lowly and Megumi only glanced up at you leaning his head to the side like a confused puppy. 

#toji x reader #toji fushiguro x reader #jjk x reader #jjk fanfic #toji fushiguro fanfic #black reader #x black reader #jjk x black reader #toji fushiguro x black reader #꒰ ა ♡ ໒ ꒱ — scheduled post.

[partyanimal167]

Be Careful, She Bites- Nico x F! Twilight! Reader

Idk why, but I randomly got into a Gangsta. kick again, and gosh, I really miss this anime. I've read some fics on AO3 and know some people here who are in the fandom. I don't think I've ever written anything for the fandom, so I might as well try while I'm on this plane. I need to remember to add this anime to my pinned post.

I hope this is good. Thanks for reading!!!

CW: canon-typical violence, language, slightly unhinged fem reader lol

You weren't interested in being on your best behavior while trying to settle in a new town. Someone needed to make things interesting.

"You need to act right." That was the order you continued to repeat to yourself as your trailed behind your employer into a bland abandoned warehouse that could have been easily confused with the tens that surrounded it. You didn't really care what business was being carried out right now. The boss only needed you as protection which was a smart decision. The two of you were still new in town and while you had the blessings of the big heads' across the country, their protection from money alone could only do so much with the distance.

You easily ignored the lecherous stares shot your way from some low totem pole men. You continued to roll that sour hard candy in your mouth as you leaned against a stack of crates. The weather was sweltering, so you were happy you decided to don a cropped hoodie and capris. One guy kept staring, so you flicked him off. "Y/N," Damn you could never have any fun.

Negotiations were wrapping up when yelling and gun shots could be heard nearby. A window crashed from the side of the building, and two men stood casually. One had a gun out, long white blonde hair, and an eye patch. The other looked a little more rugged. He had black hair, a permanent scowl, and hand rested on the sword resting on his side.

You crunched your candy and grinned wildly. This looked like the good type of trouble to be in.

"Yoohoo, the Monroe family sends their regards." The blonde says before shooting a weaker pawn. The men instantly move to attack before other individuals join the intruders' side.

"What the fuck is going on?" the man who was talking to your boss exclaims before starting to run away.

You wanted in on the action, but you knew your priority was to get to safety. You leapt to your boss' side and started to run towards an exit.

You were cut off by that dark-haired fellow who crouched down and seemed ready to pull out that sword on you. You grinned and held out your arm in front of your boss. "I'm really in a playful mood, but I suggest you get out of my way." He didn't say anything to you, but your reflexes kicked in and tossed a knife behind him--knocking down a man who had a gun in his hand and aiming at you.

"We're not with them. Just candidates for a business relationship." the boss explained. The man didn't seem to care at all, but he looked passed you two towards his partner.

"Let them be. We don't need more work." his friend called out. In an instant, he was over by him; the light breeze passing by you.

You chuckled and continued to run off. "Hope to catch you soon!"

~~~

Your boss was adaptable if anything. That attack led to that group being absorbed and now business wanting to be done with the notorious Monroe family. You caught some of the details when your partner droned on the phone with the big bosses. You wish you paid more attention though because now you were being shuffled around a too nice-looking banquet room filled with overly dressed individuals and you in your finest pair of slacks and dress shirt. Against your better judgement, your top buttons were undone with the chain of your tags peeking at the right angle.

It was insisted that the venue and Monroes would be a safe space for your kind, but in your experience, there was no such thing. You grumbled when greeted by Daniel Monroe and properly chastised afterwards (though he didn't seem to mind much).

The only thing that kept you from running off was the arrival of those two men from before. Since the meeting, you did a little research and got quite a variety of information on the Handymen duo. They seemed like a good type of trouble to keep close for backup, and you expressed that to the boss. They seemed to agree with you for once.

The one named Worick smiled nicely to the boss and yourself--even kissing their hand. You thought the gesture to be corny yet kinda hot all the same. Your boss was not amused. Worick went on to introduce Nicolas to you. Your suspicions about your similarities were confirmed from your research, and you didn't mind peering down at the man. "Hey cuite," you chuckled. He only glared at you. You straightened up and held out your hands. No need to be mean, I don't bite. He showed more emotion with your hands being used to communicate.

"Stop being a brat. Yes you do." your boss scolded. They turned their attention back to Worick. "Excuse her, if I give her an inch, she takes a mile. Can never be to cautious."

That seemed to be enough for a laugh. "Well that's what makes working with our partners so exciting."

~~~

Nicolas knew trouble miles away, and you were trouble. He didn't often come across Twilights that were similar in strength to him, and he didn't need to see your tags to know.

He had been trailing your duo for a few hours at the request of Cristiano family who knew that you were from some distant family of powerful people. They just wanted to make sure you weren't trying to upset the city's power balance. It was boring work truthfully, but there were perks to being quiet and knowing how to hide.

Right now, the two of you were in some shitty restaurant, so Nicolas sat in a narrow alley bored. There were probably a lot of things going on during this busy time of day that he couldn't hear or cared to.

However a whoosh passed his face could definitely be felt.

He looked up to see your form standing at the alley entrance and turned to see one of your knifes stuck in the brick wall a few feet away. He reached out for his sword.

"Wow wow," you held out your hands in defense, "no need to get all violent on me." You laughed. "Can't I play with you a bit? After all, you've been on my ass all day."

Nicolas shouldn't be too surprised hearing that you knew he was lurking. He grunted and relaxed slightly on his crate. He glared at you.

"Shame we're on the same side right now," you leaned against a wall, "I wanna know how look in a fight. You one of those pill poppers?"

He knew what you were suggesting. Nicolas grunted. We all pop pills. Gonna die either way.

You grinned then shrugged. "Got a point there." You walked towards him. Nicolas was ready for an attack, but you passed him to retrieve your knife. "So what fun is there to do in this godforsaken city?"

There is no fun for us. We're here to kill and follow orders.

You sighed and rolled your eyes. "What a killjoy." you still had a mischievous look in your eyes. Nicolas didn't jerk away when you reached out your hand and cupped his chin. You ran a thumb across the bottom of his lip and licked your own. "Lucky for you, I still think we can show each other a good time. There's always that at least." you grinned madly when your thumb entered the man's mouth and was held tightly between his teeth.

"Be careful. I bite too."

~~~

I miss this show/manga so much!!! I hope Kohske is doing okay. Her wellbeing is more important.

I liked writing for this fandom. The world is such an interesting setting and how things work in it. Maybe I'll try some more later.

Thank you for reading!!!

#gangsta #gangsta fanfiction #nicolas brown #nico brown #benriya #gangsta manga #gangtsa x reader #nicolas x reader #black fem reader #twilight reader #mine #stewie writes #partyanimal167

[glittergroovy]

Post Directory: Lana Del Rey Unreleased / other

1949 / Afraid / All Smiles / Angels Forever / Architecture / Axl Rose Husband / Baby Blue Love / Back To The Basics / Backfire / Bad Boy / BBM Baby / Be My Daddy / Beautiful Player / Because Of You / Behind Closed Doors / Ben / Bentley / Big Bad Wolf / Big Eyes / Big Spender / Blizzard / Boarding School / Bollywood Hawaii / Break My Fall / Breaking My Heart / Buddy’s Rendezvous / Butterflies / Butterflies (Part 2) / C U L8R Alligator / Catch & Release / Caught You Boy / Children Of The Bad Revolution /Come When You Call Me America / Criminals Run The World / Crooked Cop / Damn You / Dance For Money / Dangerous Girl / Daytona Meth / Delicious / Disco / Dragonslayer / Dreamgirl / Drive / Driving In Cars With Boys / Dum Dum / Dynamite / Earthquakes / Elvis (Demo) / End Of The World / Every Man Gets His Wish / Fake Diamond / Find My Own Way / Fine China / For You / Fordham Road / Freak Like Me / French Restaurant / Gangsta Boy / Get Drunk / Ghetto Baby / Girl That Got Away / Go Go Dancer / Golden Grill / Goodbye Kiss / Greenwich / Hangin’ Around / Hawaiian Tropic / Heavy Hitter / Hey Blue Baby / Hey You / Hit And Run / Hollywood / Hollywood’s Dead / Hot Hot Hot / Hundred Dollar Bill / I Can Fly / I Don’t Wanna Go / I Must Be Stupid For Being So Happy / I Still Love Him / I Talk To Jesus / I Want It All / I Was In A Bad Way / If I Die Young / In The Sun / In Wendy / Is It Wrong? / Jealous Girl / Jesus Is My Boyfriend / JFK / Jimmy Gnecco / Kinda Outta Luck / Lake Placid / Last Girl On Earth / Let My Hair Down / Life Is Beautiful / Lift Your Eyes / Live Or Die / Looking For America / Maha Maha / Making Out / Match Made In Heaven / Meet Me In The Pale Moonlight / Melancholia / Methamphetamines / Midnite Dancer Girlfriend / Moi Je Joue / Money Hunny / More Mountains / Motel 6 / My Best Days / My Song 57 / Never Let Me Go / Noir / On Our Way / Ooh Baby / Paradise / Paris / Party Girl (St. Tropez) / Pin-Up Galore / Pink Champagne / Playground / Playing Dangerous / Prom Song (Gone Wrong) / Puppy Love / Push Me Down / Put The Radio On / Put Your Lips Together / Queen Of Disaster / Resistance / Roses / Run Motorcycle / Scarface / Serene Queen / Serial Killer / She’s Not Me / So Good (Summer Bummer Demo) / So Legit / Some Things Last A Long Time / Starry Eyed / Stoplight De-Lite / Strange Love / Summer Of Sam / Super Movie / Teenage Wasteland / Television Heaven / The Happiest Girl In The Whole USA / The Man I Love / There’s Nothing To Be Sorry About / Tired Of Singing The Blues / Trash (Miss America) / Trash Magic / True Love On The Side / TV In Black And White / Unidentified Flying Bill / Us Against The World / Velvet Crowbar / Wait / Watercolor Eyes / Wayamaya / Westbound / What’s A Girl To Do / Wild One / Yes To Heaven / You & Me / You Can Be The Boss / You Must Love Me / You’re Gonna Love Me / You, Mister / Young And Beautiful / Your Band Is All The Rage / Your Girl

SEE HERE for directory of her released music

#separating this from the og post bc it wont allow over 100 links! #lana del rey #directory #lana unreleased

[dinoalexander]

Your Moment of Zen: The World Famous Semi-Quotable 2023 Quotedown Quotetacular (NSFL)

The following is created from encounters from many friends and loved ones over the past year. And it is my honor to say... READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED. === Y'all know what this is... We've done this 21 times before... Here comes #22.... ... as we proceed... ... to give you what you need... ... 2023 QUOTE WALL, LET'S GO! === “Happy 2023! Everything has been perfectly fine the first 2 minutes. Don't screw it up for the rest of us over the next 364 days, 23 hours, and 58 minutes.” -Klaussie

“We won the game. You get a prize, honey. And here is mine!” -The Fifteenth Doctor

“You did the first good thing of 2023. Now you have 364 days to fuck it up.” -Jay “And you know I will…” -C “Multiple times over.” -Jay

“Looks the same, but all the racehorses are one year older.” -Joe T.

“I think Will’s favorite line is “it feels good to be a gangsta” … every time he helps a perp walk.” -Bing

“On New Year's Eve, everyone says that they support you when you fall. On January 2nd, the only thing that's going to support you when you fall is the floor.” -G.

“ I can smell your throat and want to murder you every moment of the day… Romance.” -Shannon

Gordon: BAD BAD PLANT! Jason: I have to report it to PPS Gordon: PPS? Jason: Plant Protective Services Gordon: He's so bad

“The things I miss when I go to bed at the crack of 10.” -C

“Printer + Edge of Table = Always Trouble.” -Hollywood

“So I've been downgraded from hated to just disliked. That's progress.” -G. “Listen… if you don’t go out and get your Monday… somebody else will.” -Miss Sarah

Gordon: You want to see Scream 5? Carlos: I live in your apartment. I think that movie is not gonna scare me

“All hail the Mighty Pop-Tart!” -Hirsh

Gordon: My plant pooped a $100 Money egg. Chico: Hope you wiped afterward. Gordon: Always

“He showed talent, which disappointed me.” -Jay

“You know these are people you want to work with when we are not just talking about The Joker's Wild, but The BILL CULLEN version of The Joker's Wild.” -G., geeking out. “You’re working with keepers.” -Chico “"nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" That's cute and all but have you ever had street tacos while drunk at 2am sold by a nice old Hispanic lady saying "¡Qué lindo! ¡Estás demasiado flaco! ¡Come más!"?” -Kim

“Covid Rica.” -G.

“And now here is your deep thought for a Friday. The first person who ever saw a parrot talk was probably not OK for quite some time afterwards. Think about it.” -Brian

Keep the masks on! -G. I was in the bathroom -Bowler You don't pee through your nose -G.

Get me a ferret or I will cut your balls off - Carlos

I'm pretty sure I didn't intentionally create a User Access Denied page to block me from working -G. ...Or did you? -Boss “FAA had to unplug it and then plug it back in again.” -Heather

“Nothing left to do but throw it out into the universe in the hopes that NMRK course-corrects.” -C

“Listening to country music and sitting on a bed of nails must be similar experiences.” -Sarah

“I’d rather roll in honey butt naked and sprinkle sugar all over myself before jumping on an ant nest the size of a Walmart before ever wanting my baby daddy back. I barely wanted him the first time!” -Jenn

“YouGov paid for my last pair of AirPods, and I’m sure they’ll pay for my next pair as soon as I lose these.” -John Lang, Audit the Audit

“Don't forget the rings. You know what finger they go on, right?” -Carlos “Yes, they are right next to the F*ck You Finger.” -G. “YES! Ha ha ha ha ha ha” -Carlos “Mailbox Mailbox Mailbox Mailbox Mailbox Mailbox Mailbox Mailbox Mailbox Mailbox Mailbox Mailbox Mailbox” -Carlos

“On a side note, I got the lewdle quicker than the wordle, which should surprise no one.” -G.

“O Canada, je suis la jeune fille.” -Statboy “He spoke French, but he’s not French. He’s American!” -Brian

“If you can eat it and like it, I'll be moving towards getting the sponsorship. If it kills you, then I won't.” -G.

“And now the 49ers are in a dire situation at QB… and wait, something’s happening in the stadium tunnel.. good God that’s Colin Kaepernick’s music!” -Mark Ellis

“No one likes Butt-Ass Naked Lanes.” -Panther

“My plant has the munchies.” -G.

“That hairstyle was a choice.” -Brian

“Ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff.” -George W.

“We may have a bigger bunch of haterade next week.” -G. “I'll bring the Church Key.” -C

“Can’t play Lingo without my lucky balls.” -RuPaul, host of Lingo

“Come. Let us play night.” -C

“When you’re in the toilet in Scotland, the smell of cow shit and horse shit overpowers the smell that any human can produce.” -Q

“I'm a stay at home pro bowler.” -Charles K. “You're a stay at home cabbage.” -Justin K.

(Watching Meta taking a Dive) JD Witherspoon somewhere is laughing sipping some tea. -G.

“Herb Abrams! HE FAT!” -C “Next time you're about to complain about cancel culture just remember that a man who is currently under investigation for attempting to overthrow the United States government just got cast as like the Happy Li'l Slice o' Cake on The Masked Singer.” -Dave Holmes

“Can a Game Show stop a Civil War?” -Dave Statman

“Nestor Cortes is on the 15-day DL.” -Greg “Oh, that gives him 15 days to go molest somebody.” -Klaussie

“We’ll get started once we figure out what all these wires do!” -Cory

“What the hell is this nonsense?” -Jordan, on a Dook sweater in the Dean Dome

“Not this game show shit again.” -Carlos.

“Let’s take their Chinese balloon money.” -Jay

“Shut the front door!” -Q “The door is firmly shut. And bolted.” -cruise director Lee

“Kath & Kim… and the Power Rangers Razzle Dazzle Show!” -Klaussie

“A mountain is only unclimbable until it’s climbed.” -Q

“It’s only a Champagne Ranger if it comes from the Champagne region of the Morphin Grid.” -somebody re: Russell Curry’s Cosmic Fury costume

“There is no saving throw for bullshit.” -someone at Jay’s D&D.

“If you are showing any foul play, you will be sent to your dressing room. And if it is really dirty, you’ll be sent to mine.” -The Governess

“No spoilers! I don’t want to know how it ends! Oh wait…” -Paul, re: the HQ Trivia doc

“He couldn’t have been more open if he was wearing a neon sign that said ‘Throw it to me, you idiot!’” -Brian

“Tomorrow's going to be a real banner day for Rich People Who Like Wearing Fancy Hats to Things.” -Kit, on May 6

“Applebee’s food is piss. Even the Hooters we have is slightly better.” -Carl “That’s because Hooters piss is $2.50.” -Kim

“Student: "What's that (you're eating)?" Me: "Prosciutto wrapped around mozzarella cheese." Student: "What's prosciutto?" Me: "A kinda-salty, kinda-fatty ham, just like me." Student is dead.” -Klaussie

“That was uncomfortable. I enjoyed it.” -Jay

“I’m not ashamed. I’m a gentleman. There’s a difference.” -C

“This car is on firrrrrrrrreeeeee!” -G

“What is it with animals and me and shit?” -Q

Jay; “yeah that means…” C: “I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS JASON!” -subject; Bad Bunny’s “Titi Me Preguntó”

“Dad humor numbs the pain.” -Swoop

“Who shot Lee Harvey Oswald?” -Quizmaster “THE CIA!” -… somebody.

“K-LOVE… Imagine what would happen if Great American Family was a radio station.” -C

“TL;DR: Arte Moreno is a cheap, money-grubbing piece of shit.” -JVG

“I’m In Denver for a few while I make my connecting flight to Atlanta. And I’m not gonna lie to you the thin air at this altitude is starting to get to me… for starters, I’m beginning to think this unicorn named Sylvia that I’ve been talking to for the last 30 minutes isn’t real.” -Brian

“Ahh Facebook, still can't tell a joke from your own assholes, can you?” -Justin

“The Giants can have a hot chick as a quarterback and still fail to score.” -G

“My brain is not braining right now…” -everyone.

“You can tell the writers are on strike because you’d never put a hurricane and an earthquake in the same episode.” -Buzzy

“Because Pete Davidson is a man-whore, that’s why.” -Tom

“If I have to ride my autodrafted fantasy team’s ass with a known sexual deviant to the finish, so be it!” -Jay

“New York is the greatest city in the world. Toronto isn’t even the greatest city in Canada.” -The Professor

“Swifties could find Emily Miscavage.” -Emily

“WLTI has been brought to you by Outside your Bubble Burst. Watch JD Witherspoon and others notate on the demise of Facebook and Spotify. Very. Very. Slowly.” -G.

“It's a cross between a Jackson Pollack painting and a Quentin Tarantino movie.” -Evil Travis

“They look like rabbits who have been through some shit.” -Caitlin

“Whoever dances to Beauty and the Beast gets an unfair advantage. All they have to do is recreate the ballroom scene. And they get votes! Dance to the Gaston song. Everyone hates Gaston. Turn that into a dance that gets you votes.” -Q

“Have you ever considered using your gifts for good?” -me after Q pretty much nails how to use “Beauty and the Beast” as an advantage on Disney+ Night of Dancing With the Stars.

“Dangerous fluids everywhere.” -Jay, on Megan’s house

“If you work hard as a kid, you will play hard as an adult. If you play hard as a kid, you’ll end up working hard as an adult.” -Q

“Boy Zaxbys just out here saying to hell with all y’all.” -Big Rick

“My plant is bloated.” -Gordon “It needs an enema.” -J Block

“If I wanted a slide, I would have written in a slide!” -Heather

“You cheerin’ like you gon’ git some of this Whammy money. Girl, bye.” -Q getting WAY TOO INTO a Press Your Luck rerun.

“Now I do NOT recommend you do this but…” -Ken “That’s a green light if ever I saw one!” -C

“Look for the Technicolor yeti.” -Erskine

“(In my best Craig Ferguson voice) Did you guys hear the news, apparently, Tom Brady has decided that he’s going to become a minority owner of the Las Vegas Raiders! I know! And the two are very different of course. One of them is a football institution whose fans are some of the most annoying, sycophantic and overbearing in the world of professional sports, who has been hyped up to hell by people despite success eluding them in recent years, and many people are annoyed by how they skate by on previous success despite many recent failures. And the other are the Las Vegas Raiders.” -Brian

“Nobody wants a WEBP file. I repeat: NOBODY wants a WEBP file. WEBP's own mother doesn't want a WEBP file. If WEBP was an ice cream flavor it would be Moist Gym Socks. If they ever make a movie about WEBP it'll star Dane Cook, Amber Heard and a 3D hologram of Richard Nixon. Go away forever, WEBP format.” -Justin

“Bryce Young is ass.” -Daniel

“Viva Mark Mothersbaugh.” -Tommy

“Sometimes it's a W. Sometimes it looks like a W but it's only 2 crooked L's” -Chris 'Strike Tyson' Schenck

“The mystery is… How does Gritty take a piss?” -Klauss “Sam has done something no one has ever done before! They ate at Cook-Out… sober!” -Cody Dove

“Roosevelt won us the war, but Marshall won us the peace.” -Q

“He still has a whole ass empty hand, quit whining sir.” -Rooks

“BTW - this game is going to be as painful as putting your own junk in a vice grip.” -Jay

“Even though this has been a real pain in the…” -Susan “… TUCHUS.” -C

“Everyone in McKinney is dead. It is hot in McKinney.” -Pete Delkus, on a heat index of “101,105”.

“…stank.” -Brian

“‘Yesterday’s price is NOT today’s price.’ -Fat Joe” -Zenith Ranger & dead ringer for Obama Russell Curry

“Hello trouble!” -Sav “Hello trouble!” -Julia

“Duck Mycinko.” -Ben Potter “Brian Bumblepiss.” -Peter Austin “Hot Fresh Science Fox.” -Ben Potter “Ashton Catthews”. -Peter Austin “And… Billy Ray Walrus.” -Both -TripleJump’s Worst Games Ever

“Life’s too short, so don’t waste time on nothing but the good stuff.” -C

“All this talk about whether Die Hard is a Christmas movie but no one ever fights about whether The Hunt for Red October is a Halloween movie.” -Cara

“Stairs. They’re the tweaker’s natural enemy.” -C

“Those edibles ain’t shit!” -Christian

"i like a good, firm banana" - @BenHigginsSD

“I am Allstate and you are in good hands!” -Q, with a snap and a head bobble

“I’m going to the loo.” -Zoombelina “Make sure you use the toilet!” -The Boss

“… you guys have any Anacin?” -C “What is this, Bill Cullen’s The Price Is Right?” -Jay

“WHO IS HEATH LEDGER?!” -TJ

“If you've lived in New York, being an a-hole is a requirement.” -G.

“Spam is just pantry wagyu.” -Alvin “Heck of a Hill to Die on But Whatever” Zhou

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom.” -Danielle “But I’ve gotta go to the bathroom.” -Jordan “But I’m gonna go to the bathroom.” -Danielle “Will someone go to the bathroom?” -C

“I have a shameful confession to make. I get Alan Tudyk and Paul Bettany confused. I'm not proud.” -Jonathan

“Can someone tell me what channel the Taylor Swift game is on?” -Cindy

“Laughing for “Our Lady of Perpetual Tournaments” and because my parents are going to be REJOICING.” -Jenny & Chelsea re: J!

“But Chico…. Chaos is good!” -Q

“I’ve Got a Secret. Hosted by Kanye West. The game no one wants to play.” -G.

“My family now refers to me as Chaos Auntie.” -Wingo

“Day 1 down and no one wants to kill each other. Yet.” -G.

“To be the only carrot in a room full of hungry rabbits.” -Q

“So I went from leaving last night to 3 meetings and a great adventure trip. I completely expect to hear from tbs today and if you've seen everything everywhere all at once I expect my fingers to turn into hot dogs.” -G “So a typical morning then.” -C “Yup.” -G

“What happened in Florida, Whitman?” -Greg

“Third down and Roger Goodell’s penis.” -Jay

“McKeever, McIver, MacGruber, MacGyver. Whatever.” -C, trying to pronounce the name of the actress who plays Sam on “Ghosts”.

“You: “Bowls are meaningless now!” Bowls: “It is now time to sacrifice the mascot so that the victors may enjoy their spoils.”” -Joe Ovies

“We're going back home because the Uber Driver is the worst.” -Carlos (Gordon changes the station) “Who changed my music?” -Carlos “The Worst Uber Driver in the World.” -G.

“That was his throwing ankle!” -Brian

“If you have sex with Godzilla, you'll need more than a pill to protect you...and your city.” -Nikki

“Gonzaga is Gonzarbage.” -Daniel

“Elon is proof that nobody can ever have everything. No matter how rich, powerful, or smart he is, he'll never actually be the one thing he wants to be: funny.” -Chelsea

“Show the buzzer kindness, and the buzzer will respond in kind.” -Ben Ben

“Politics is just show business for ugly people. -some guy idk” -Jonathan “J Aubrey” Aubrey

“… why they always gotta have their shirts off?” -Pierogi “Sampson County smells like Darth Vader’s farts.” -Q

“Carbs oh how I missed you.” -Jay

“$5000 says Cat Stevens gets the chair.” -“Pete Rose”, 2004

“All the trivia nights we’ve been to, and you remember the one where Quisla brought up Pokémon-inspired sex positions.” -C

“I’m just gonna bleep the bitches because it’s funnier.” -Greg

“My sensors are detecting a vibe.” -Alpha 9 (Richard Horvitz)

“Brain Return on Lane 41.” -G.

“The people who watch The Bachelor for drama watch NASCAR for the wrecks.” -Jay

“An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Botswanan, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Puerto Rican, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a Sammarinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turk, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to a bar… The doorman stops them and says “Sorry, I can’t let you in without a Thai." You're welcome.” -Blish

“Meetings, meetings, meetings.” -Carlos “Welcome to America, the land of meetings.” -G.

“This April, you will know his name. You may not be able to spell it, but you will know it.” -C re: Brian

“You're full of Moo Poo.” -G.

“The cheek! The nerve! The audacity! The gall! The gumption! The Aggro-Crag-sized global guts on you!” -C

“I'll take dumb people who should be strapped to a nuclear warhead for $1,200, Mayim.” -G.

(Watching Jeopardy) “I hate this shitty program.” -Carlos (Ed: get out)

So playing Jeopardy: Fish or Foul for $200. The Answer: Where Foul Go to stay for the night. The Question: What is Chicken Inn? -G. That’s 🥚-zactly the spirit! -Dave S.

(Quisla eats a basket of French fries while waiting to pay for them…. Then looks at Chico’s basket of fries… which also haven’t been paid for.) Q: “You gonna eat those?” C: “MINE!”

“BEHOLD… THE DECABOX!” -VRM

“And that Travis is getting too much TS lovin’.” -J, re Travis Kelce

“I’m in Dunkin getting a coffee and this lady is trying to start a Christmas Carol singalong. Girl, if you don’t sit your Disney movie ass down somewhere!” -Bruce

“I just saw an ad on NBA TV for a podcast with Ernie Johnson and Charles Barkley. Paraphrasing... Barkley: I want to get an M tattooed on each butt cheek. Johnson: Why? Barkley: If I'm standing up, it says MOM but if I'm standing on my head, it says WOW.” -NBA on TNT

““Callahan! That 34 Oz. Hickory bat you’re swinging is against regulation! In this clubhouse, we do things by the BOOK!”l -Brian, on Willie Stargell looking like every cinematic police chief.

“I’d like to recommend reading the Up With People Wikipedia page as a lesson the subtle art of criticism.” -Muffy

“Can’t spell Dallas without two straight Ls.” -BFG

“Can we stop saying the word ‘buttcheeks’?” -Eli Manning

“Give this man a Sharpie.” -C to Brandy re: new hire, channeling his inner Black Panther.

“‘You sure you don’t want me back?’ I will write it in blood if you need me to.” -Q, re: Jenn’s baby daddy quote

“So apparently I found out that our new son tried to burn down the apartment, which at least would stop you from complaining about how messy it is.” -G.

“Watching this Mar a Lago speech is worse than drinking unflavored Trilyte colonoscopy prep & when you finish the gallon they bring a beer bong w/6 more gallons for you to consume while listening to your uncle w/dementia & halitosis muse about the raging dysentery he had in Korea.” -Mattie Timmer

“$50,000 for a helicopter ride? For $50,000 it better transform into a Gundam.” -C

“Isaiah Pacheco does his shimmy. It drives the women in Kansas City crazy!” -Brian

“What were you doing on your birthday?” -C “Working.” -Q “What was I doing on my birthday?” -C “Working.” -Q “So what are we doing here on vacation?” -C “Talking about working.” -Teddy

“Enjoy Drake Maye stinking it up in Arizona.” -Greg

“Fortune favors the bold. And the chickens who maintain the inn.” -G.

“Muffy Marracco: Helps You Get Drunker By The Hour.” -Muffy

(Planning Bowling matches) “We're matchmakers now as well lol.” -Rudy F. “Which one of us is Tevye?” -G.

(Wearing a brown wig) “It's not TV, It's Wiggyvision.” -Douglas H.

“What oil pattern is this?” -Joe P. “This is the famous Oil of Olay pattern.” -G.

“Let’s rush’em! They can’t stop all of us!” -Q

(After getting Jasser a sandwich instead of what he wanted) I ask for Chetos. You get me a sandwich - Jasser Chetos in Spanish means Cheetos. It does not mean Sandwich -G. Si -Jasser (scowling) “The Word of the Day is Banhammer.” -Nick G.

So you want a little of everything -G. Yes. I want a smorgasbourg. I want a Smorg. -Lauren R.

“I have no idea what is going on, and I am here for it anyways!” -Carl K.

“Man, I REALLY hate those Pfizer ads…” -Ian

“I got nothing, but hey, I’ve got a lot of it!” -Jill

“Hi Ted, Ron here. Listen, I know how tempting it is to appeal to the real lowest form of humanity here in the United States, the bottom feeders, people who pride themselves on hatred and un-education and inability to read and inability to understand the difference between true patriotism and the bulls*** you’re selling. I know how tempting it is to play to those people, because at least you have a base, but Jesus Christ Ted, for somebody with a really, really small d***, you get to be a bigger p***k every f****** day. Go f*** yourself.” -Ron Perlman to Ted Cruz.

“Is Austin Reaves the best undrafted player of all time?” -somebody on Twitter. “Ben Wallace won Defensive Player of the Year four times and is the reason Kobe & Shaq didn’t win four. This app needs an age limit.” -Somebody else on Twitter

“Do I want to sleep to Special Forces or do I want to sleep to Baltimore/Cincinnati?” -G

“Wanna try street hockey?” -Jordan “I gotta pee first.” -C

“Somebody hit somebody!” -Brian

“I am about ready to trade Drew Lock for a reconstituted and reanimated Sean Lock. It could scarcely be any worse.” -Evil Travis

“Debate: Does Yoda sound more like Grover or Miss Piggy?” -Dane

“NFL uses CONFUSION! It’s super effective!” -Tom

“This is how riots begin.” -Robin

“Hey! Tom Brady… We don’t believe you.” -Jay

“That man is gonna move to the Triangle and bring every convo you have with him back to the fact he’s from New York and that you can’t find any good takeout around here.” -Joe Ovies, re: Tommy DeVito

“Programming note… the CFP show will air upon the conclusion of the basketball game featuring Fuck U and Tossoff State.” -C

The most frustrating part of hoping to get a phone call from a number you don't know: You have to answer EVERY call and suffer through every robocall and solicitation. -Sonic Whammy I'm sending you every single Car Insurance Warrantee call that comes my way, just to let you know 😃 -G. Gordon Pepper I'm touched -Sonic Whammy

“Latte - $5.00. Bottle of Water: $40.” -Richard Barone

“Quisla, stop turning off the television!” -C

“No… also no.” -Victoria “The Queen” Groce

Give these steps a go for me please -Worker Doing that now...I'm getting a picture of an apple and no loading bar -G. If you’re still holding the keys you can let go and see if the loading bar appears after -Worker Nope. Still the apple menacing me lol. Thoughts? -G. You mind sending me your Mac serial number? You should see it in very very tiny print on the back -Worker If you tell me that It's a demon MAC possessed by goblins and I need to leave the house immediately. I could believe that -G. At this point I think that’s the only logical conclusion -Worker

“Predetermined Bullshit. The latest fragrance from Calvin Klein.” -C

“The first steel coaster was opened in 18-rickety-dickety-doo.” -Chris aka Airtime Thrills

“I don't follow enough sports to properly complete this joke but "[INSERT FOOTBALL TEAM HERE] is looking as useless as a back button on Facebook today".” -Terry

“This song has an instruction to "Think Dolly" and feels the need to explain who Dolly Parton was. HOW DARE YOU. I blame the young people.” -Heather

I need Chicken -Jasser

“Lydia’s animated. Quisla’s animated. Get’em together, it’s the Cartoon Network.” -C

Ezra Miller, who was a contestant on Jack Black's 'Jablinski Games', is playing a new game called 'Why am I in your Bedroom?' -G.

“Great effin’ job, Al, on that call with all the enthusiasm as watching a janitor mop the floor at McDonald’s at 3 in the morning.” -Greg

“So I just had a rep from SiriusXM call me to sell me radio. I bought a new car recently. Of course it comes with a 3-month trial, and I love it. I try to explain to her that I work in REAL radio, terrestrial radio, local radio, actual RADIO radio. She’s trying to tell me how streaming is so much better… THAN WHAT I DO FOR A LIVING! ….bitchgetoffmyphone!”- Miss Sarah

“Fancy hotel shower.” -Q

“I’m a benevolent quiz overlord… not like those bastards at Jeopardy!” -Buzzy

“i look forward to everyone in my hometown reacting to this in a completely civil manner, with no anger whatsoever!” -Jordan

“Barnacles.” -Paul

“I don't like strikes. They are bad for you.” -G. “Just make your spares, Gordon.” -DouglasVision

“Gordon bowls? I've never seen Gordon bowl.” -Brandon B.

“I take one whiff downwind of the cafeteria and I thank every god in the multiverse that I have brought my lunch today.” -C

“We’re putting a helmet on RJ.” -Jordan

“I can't make strikes!” -G. “We know you can't make strikes. There's something wrong with Gordon.” -Douglasvision

“You broke him, Kimberly.” -C “Sucks to suck.” -Kim

“In addition to a quote wall, I think a wall of AI images is needed. The world needs 7-finger McLean Stevenson.” -Klaussie

(Carlos walks in) Gordon: I'm teaching Jasser English. Carlos: eh? Gordon: Agua Jasser: Water Gordon: Leche Jasser: Milk Carlos: My turn. Gordon: Ok Carlos: Fuck me in the Bathroom Gordon: (Faceplant) Carlos: Fuck me in the kitchen Gordon: Jasser, no digate nada Carlos: Pierro is a Cum Whore Jasser: Pierro is a Cum whore Gordon: (Faceplant) Jasser: Que? Carlos: Pierro gusta luche para mi chorizo a se boca Jasser: Ah Pierro: Jasser, repita por favor: Carlos is a nasty bitch Jasser: Carlos is a nasty bitch Gordon: Dios mio.

“Plot twist: the cat is the actual "Person of the Year". So all the haters can quit their seething now, kthnxbye...” -Dane

“The real Daily Doubles are the friends we made along the way.” -Emily

“Friday is Leg Day, as in put those legs to work by getting 3 dozen donuts.” -Klaussie

“I'm mad Gordon cashed in the tournament. (Bleep)” -Douglasvision

“I regret emotional investment.” -everyone experiencing disappointment and having seen Strange Planet.

“You needed to be here to ride coasters with Danielle because that's a hell no from me.” -Jordan

“Bobby Hill is a Disney Princess confirmed.” -Chelsea

“(The Shark Tank Sharks’) ‘success rate' at funding successful companies is at best comparable to the batting average of below-average baseball players.  They get lucky and confuse it with acumen.” -David B.

“Riverside, motherfucker!” -Carl

“I’m sorry, but even inside a store… With the factory seal still on… I refuse to believe there’s cookies in this tin. And my therapist wonders why I have trust issues.” -Brian, on Royal Dansk cookies

“Ending of UNC vs. UVA providing drama on @thecw I haven't seen since Gossip Girl went off the air.” -Joe O.

“Nick Adams, YOU CAN SUCK MY DICK!” -Tom

“The Titans wearing throwback Oilers uniforms against Houston feels so wrong.” -Jay O’Brien “Peak petty.” -LaKedra

“I’m on pins and needles to see if you bought this!” -Jess, re: Brian’s Danish cookies

“I would’ve been better if the person I was bowling was a righty like myself. But noooooo Gordon Pepper was on a better side. The left side. The not so used side. Good job Pepper. Hope you take home the cheddar as in Moola.” -Elijah B.

“The internet was doing so well with the submarine memes, and then I saw that.” -Klaussie, re: Dunkaccino

“I don’t know but whatever it is, it’s covered in cheese.” -C, on breakfast casseroles

“Makumba!” -Carlos

“"Well, it's-- Ah, you wouldn't be interested. It's too lowbrow." "No...I'm QUITE lowbrow."” -Brian

“This is a pretty blue car...” -Car Insurance Agent. “Well it was a pretty blue car. Now it's a pretty blue accordion.” -G.

“If Bob Iger were to purchase the WWE, it would make it officially a Mickey Mouse organization.” -Klauss

“Fook.” -G.

“I am officially "ooh, who knew LL Bean had such nice things" years old.” -Wingo

Why are the lanes so dry? Who oiled them? -Bradley E. It was supposed to be the Tin Man from Oz, but he needed the oil more -G. That explains everything -Bradley E.

“Interesado -Mike D.

“I try not to take too much stock on what people say on social media because Twitter is the mark of the Beast and I refuse to go to Hell for my job.” -C

“I apologize for being over-the-top obnoxious. I only wanted to be semi-obnoxious but I got carried away.” -G.

“No money, no honey.” -Jasser

From the creators of 'Why am I in your bedroom?' comes the new game show called 'Why am I hitting you with a chair?' -G.

May we all strive to be 😎 better than Ezra. - Doug M.

“My commencement speech: if you're a gorgeous 20-something... get you some ugly friends. B/c their reality is your future. You need to prepare for a time when you're not getting all the world's favors. Now I'm not saying these friends need to be butt ugly. But they need to be avg enough that they've had to a) develop layered personality b) have some shrewd sense of how to operate in the world c) been mistreated enough that they have thicker skin d) have perseverance and know how to bounce back from the world judging them by their book cover. We all get less attractive as time goes on, but do you have a beauty retirement plan? As I get older I'm meeting more and more former playboys and faded hotties who are bitter, confused, and totally unprepared for not getting the free drink from the bartender and the extra guac on their taco. They didn't have a beauty retirement plan, and it's rough out there. Bikini cute is just a short minute. But the future always belongs to the plain-looking, middle child wearing boxers and New Balance sneakers. Look at Silicon Valley, look at DC, look at who runs the world. It isn't Fabio.” -Aurin S.

“We need to go to Fright Fest so I can feed you to the zombies.” -G.

"In 2020, Madison Cawthorn became the youngest Republican elected to Congress in American history. In 2022, he became the youngest Republican to lose re-election to Congress in American history," -Ben Collins

“Stop acting like a psychotic Oompa Loompa.” -G.

“I’m doling out truth bombs! Who wants to get blown?!” -C

“FAT FUCK MAGIC!” -Jay re: the Detroit Lions

“Chatting on Facebook - is that part of the work you do?” -Carlos “Why yes. Yes it is”. -G.

“Quisla Quisla Quisla Quisla… the vacation… begins in your mind… before you EVAH leave the house.” -C

“Guess who blew me off for Valentine's Day.” -Lisa D “I'd rather he blew you.” -G.

“Put your pants on, Chico. We’re getting a car.” -Quisla

Carlos: I made like 500 usd for 10 years of service Gordon: You'd make more in New York for 10 hours of service.

“Holy Hannah!” -Klauss

(Points to the Special K Box) - Now this is a real cereal -Carlos You're only saying that because there's a giant cock on the box -G. (Carlos stares at the box. Gives the finger)

There was a United Nations summit in Central Park -G. How many delegates -Ben T. Enough for 6 continents. And stenographers -G.

“Better send those refunds.” -Joe Burrow

(Walks into Carlos watching the X-Men in Spanish) OOh! Is this the X-Men? -G. Noooooo, It's Porn -Carlos (Points to Nightcrawler) It's not just his tail that's long and pointy -G.

“Waffles are just pancakes ribbed for your pleasure.” -Jay

“I’m leaving this in as punishment to myself.” -C

“If it was Tom Brady or anyone on the Cowboys, Skip would want the season cancelled.” -best. Comment. Ever.

“Fragile ego. Fragile body. Weak mind. Weak spirit.” -Jon Moxley

“I don’t miss.” -Jessica

“I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then... you're doing things you've never done before and more importantly, you're Doing Something.” -NEIL GAIMAN

“In hindsight, I preferred it when Will Smith’s love interests just vanished with no explanation or sense of closure.” -Adam

“Aren’t you supposed to call a doctor if your election lasts this long?” -Daniel

“Every time I hear a government official describe Russia's invasion of Ukraine as "an imperialist land grab" I'm like "oh, so you do know what that means..."” -Wingo

“I vow to be a cleaner MK in 2023. And when that's busted at 12:10 AM on 1/1/23, I'll be back to my usual raunchy, ribald self.” -Klaussie

“I’m not that good! I’m just the best at… fucking.. TRYING! I’m the best at fucking trying.” -C

“When you eat a poop sandwich, but the bread is terrific. Then you go to the restaurant and get the same sandwich with different bread.” -G

“Take the last two off the year sign and shove it up the ass of an elephant. Someone gimme that 3.” -Carl

“Yes, we all know MTV used to play music. It’s time to let it go.” -Josh

“Why don’t you force an answer out of yourself for a change?” -C

“When I said, “South Carolina is so pretty—we should spend more time here,” I didn’t mean driving the entire state at 35 MPH.” -Clay

“I finally get Taskmaster.” -C

“A clown’s average yearly salary is $40,000-$50,000. And here you are being one for free.” -Anneke

“And remember.. you can’t spell ‘similar to but legally distinct from’ without TEMU.” -C

“Hi good morning it’s Monday it’s foggy but it’s warm enough to sit outside I already took an everything shower and scrubbed off every skin cell that was present in 2022 and moisturized from head to toe so I’m a newborn baby glazed donut girlie with clear hair love you ok bye.” -Shannon

“PUT THAT… IN YOUR COMIC BOOK… AND SMOKE IT!” -Joe O

“It’s better than buying the new Blad Bhabie single. And for the Americans who do not understand that reference…. Ignorance is bliss, my friends. Ignorance is bliss.” -The Right Opinion

“GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!” -C whenever Jay says something remotely profane. Which happens once every…day. === And goodnight everybody...everybody. Come together, just think of tomorrow. :)

[cherry-interlude]

Lana’s Unreleased Songs in ‘Chronological’ Order

This is not based on Lana’s reality or intention, just the story she tells in her music. This does not include Ave Maria, Boom Like That, Roll With Me, Money Hunny or most of the EPs/demotapes

Younger Years

This is Lana’s teenage years, due to the mentions of school and her age. The story I gleaned from this was she was a wild girl at school, hanging around with the wrong crowd (Boarding School, Children of the Bad Revolution, Driving in Cars With Boys, Making Out, Motel 6, Butterflies Part 2). She always felt like an outcast and had dreams of being famous (Elvis (inspiration), Hollywood, Pin Up Galore, Playground, You’re Gonna Love Me, Jesus is My Boyfriend).

She meets a guy who is a little bit bad for her but she connects with despite the toxic nature of their relationship (Me and My Boyfriend, Run Motorcycle, I Don’t Wanna Go, I Learned How To Make Love From the Movies (another ‘black leather moonlight), Ridin’, Joshy and I, Stoplite De-Lite, Queen of Hearts).

However, they’re passionately into each other (Baby Blue Love, BBM Baby, Jealous Girl, Puppy Love) and she dreams of them running away together (On Our Way, Prom Song Gone Wrong, Super Movie, Take Me to Paris, 1949, Every Man Gets His Wish).

They go on to break-up after multiple ‘breaks’ (Butterflies Part 1), when Lana’s boyfriend decides he wants to hit the road himself (Your Band is All the Rage). Lana recognises they were too young and bad for each other, and just wanted to leave together (Afraid, Damn You).

Waitressing/Trailer Parks/Jim

Lana becomes a waitress and goes on to meet Jim (All Smiles, Caught You Boy, Meet Me in the Pale Moonlight, You Can Be the Boss), a rich, law-breaking unkind lover (Crooked Cop, Hundred Dollar Bill). Their relationship is passionate and loving (4th of July, Behind Closed Doors, Bellevue, Bentley, Betty Boop Boop, My Song 57, Coca Colla, Daddy Issues, Dynamite, Hawaiin Tropic, Heartshaped Chevrolet, I Was in a Bad Way, Let My Hair Down, Match Made in Heaven, Oooh Baby, Push Me Down, Put Your Lips Together, Queen of Disaster, Bikini Gold) but also difficult (Maha Maha, My Best Days, Put the Radio On, Resistance, Roses, Trees, Valley of the Dolls, Cult Leader (metaphor)).

Jim also had a darker influence on Lana and she admired his criminal ways (Hot Hot Hot, Never Let Me Go (Nancy and Sid)). They lived in a trailer park together (Backfire, Fordham Road, Television Heaven, Trash Magic) and slowly they fell more into crime.

They started a lifestyle of criminal activity (Criminals Run the World, Come When You Call Me America (”gun to gun”), Daytona Meth, Hit and Run, Live or Die, Playing Dangerous (arson), Scarface) and Lana developed a darker persona (Dangerous Girl, Hangin’ Around, Serene Queen, Summer of Sam). Jim soon goes to prison (Gangsta Boy, TV in Black and White). Lana eventually realises that Jim’s love for her is too flawed, and she metaphorically kills his influence on her (Kinda Outta Luck).

Getting Famous/Stripping

Lana becomes a stripper and seeks to get noticed. She spends her days at the diner and her nights at the club (Us Against the World, Dance For Money, Ghetto Baby (stilettos, loose link), Go Go Dancer, Midnite Dancer Girlfriend, Moie Je Joue, Party Girl).

Lana eventually starts to get noticed for this (C U L8r Alligator, Disco) as well as her singing (Marilyn). Though she does still miss the life she had with Jim (Methamphetamines), she meets interesting new people (Strangelove, Big Bad Wolf, Wolf T-Shirt) and people who can give her a chance in the business (Axl Rose Husband (”record executive), Ben) - including famous men she admires (Is It Wrong?), accidentally becoming known in a scandal (Other Woman, True Love On the Side).

Famous

Lana’s fame grows quickly, and she is known as the wild-child star (Be My Daddy, Breaking My Heart, Heavy Hitter, Dreamgirl, Dum Dum, Paradise, Serial Killer, So Legit, St Tropez). She starts up a PR relationship (Fake Diamond) but meets another singer like her, who slows down her crazy behaviour (Because of You). They are a perfect pair, both rich, talented and about the famous lifestyle (Beautiful Player, Delicious, Back to tha Basics). He lives too fast, too dangerously (Live Forever, Velvet Crowbar, Lift Your Eyes) but she sticks by him. They have a whirlwind engagement to be married.

She is heartbroken when she hears rumours about him (In The Sun, Catch and Release (”page three”, gossip)). She is devastated and angered by the revelations of his unfaithfulness (Hollywood’s Dead, Noir, She’s Not Me, Tired of Singing the Blues, Your Girl) but ultimately is strong (Break My Fall). Most of all, she’s heartbroken about the marriage that would never be (Fine China*).

Lana sees the downfall of fame steadily (Last Girl on Earth) and as she becomes introspective (On & On & On) misses her past (I Talk to Jesus, Greenwich, Wayamaya, You and Me).

She spends time alone, finding herself and her freedom (Angels Forever Forever Angels, Wild One) but soon meets someone new (Hey You). She falls in love (JFK) despite remembering the past with Jim and her other lovers (French Restaurant). She is mature and safe in her relationship, and allows it to unfold (Life is Beautiful, Spin Me Round, Starry Eyed, Unidentified Flying Bill, When I’m With You, Yes to Heaven).

*This song could have fit in to various places.

This was just for fun and was all theoretical; again, I’m not claiming any of this is Lana’s intention but just a fictional narrative based on the beautiful stories she tells

#lana del rey #lana del rey unreleased #cherry-interlude #lizzy grant #lana del ray

[peculiarte]

#nick minaj #gangsta #rap #money #bling ring #the bitch is me #the boss

[kikidewynter]

Heyyo! In all seriousness, in your opinion, how atrocious is the reboot?

I tried watching it on YouTube but I couldn't sit through it after a while and now I'm curious about ppls opinions

ok this is probably going to be long, mostly rambling, and a little incoherent. but if this helps other likeminded fans save their money then i’m happy to go over as much as possible. this is obviously in no way a professional review, just my opinion.

so. um it was pretty bad. i hated it.

not because it’s modern (although i do hate the livestream, smartphone application activity, etc. stuff bc i hate that shit irl too), not because it’s buggy or glitchy (a lot of my favourite games are old as shit and never got patched, and even the cp2077 bugs didn’t deter me from playing), not because it had a new setting/characters (after getting over the initial shock of the trailer, i was actually pretty excited to be going on a new journey), definitely not because the three homies were characters of colour (if anything, i found it strange and fishy that the original series grew increasingly whiter over time), and obviously not because there was an openly gay character (please let shaundi talk about her ex girlfriends).

so why did i hate it? i need somewhere to start, so let’s talk about the tone. the opening cutscene didn’t really appeal to me until the boss got buried alive. that, i thought set the tone instantly. that the game was going to appear lighthearted, but really have a much darker side. that was immediately contradicted by the first mission, which if i have to compare it so something, felt similar to the gangstas in space epilogue for srtt or the cyrus temple opening to sriv. very strange starting point for what i assumed was a game going back to its roots—a game about a street gang. not necessarily because the boss worked for marshall, but because it was incredibly unserious and cheesy and i immediately hated it. the boss constantly repeating “it’s my first day!” only served to irritate me and pretty much gave me no reason to become invested in their career. which is very strange because the game makes a whole song and dance about how the boss got fired (after working at this job for like 3 whole days) and how depressed and mopey they are about it. something else that instantly tipped me off wrt the game’s tone was the boss just excessively swearing after the first mission. when they’re in their car just saying “fuck fuck fuckity fuck.” like… why. who wrote this. i sound like i’m nit-picking but it just felt really immature and not even in a fun way. like only 12 year olds would find it funny. there were an excess of moments like this that just had me sitting straight-faced, staring at my tv like. this game is not for me. this game cannot be for adults.

then there’s the friends. the game pretty much forces you to believe in this “we’re best friends we do everything together we love each other we’d die for each other” relationship immediately instead of like. allowing you to become invested in them yourself. that was really strange and offputting. especially since all the friends your boss makes in the original series are people they’re meeting for the first time. the games never ask you to like anyone (excluding later instalments), they present you with characters and you get to know them and come to love them or hate them. the entire reboot the whole way through is just this vibe growing increasingly ridiculous. the boss, neenah, kev, and eli make nahualli come on a team bonding exercise where they act like best buddies and try to convince him that friendship is magic or whatever. you know, instead of like some actual plot progression. again i feel like i just sound petty but this grew really fucking irritating. like why are you just telling me that these people are such great friends who sing karaoke together. why don’t you show me that. introduce the characters, and then show that they have this bond by having them sing together in the car or something, like boss and pierce do. it felt very much like you were just supposed to buy into it without there being any real reason. the final part of the game doubled down on this extremely, with nahualli betraying the boss literally so he could take their place because he wanted to be friends with neenah, eli & kev instead… yes the darkest moment of the game, the only glimpse of something a little gritty, the boss being betrayed and buried alive, was so that nahualli could steal their friends and make them his. there was a whole ridiculous mission following this where the boss is half dead and in the afterlife or something where they were inside the farmyard board game the 4 friends play together, which when it turns into a nightmare, has the friends, who are boardgame pieces, taunt the boss by saying things like “you’re such a bad friend, why would we ever be friends, you let eli get shot because you were sad about getting fired :(((” like WHAT is going on with the tone of this game. it really felt to me like it was supposed to be for younger audiences. there was absolutely no way it warranted an age 18 restriction. i would let someone as young as 8 play it. it felt like a kid’s game. literally no mention of sex. kevin’s sexual partners are referred to as his “special friends.”

i just felt alienated from the start. as though it was only advertised as saints row bc the ip already has a lot of fans. they really should’ve made it a whole new thing. which brings me to the writing. because there is literally no reason for them to be the saints. the hq is a church, which i guess is supposed to be their whole origin—the reason they’re called the saints. that’s the only reason i can think of. because the boss literally just stands in the church in silence for five seconds and is like “omg i’ve got it… we’re the saints” right out of nowhere. it’s so bad. like if this is supposed to be an origin story for a new gang then why is there no real origin. it felt very shallow. like the game is just calling itself saints row, but isn’t actually saints row at all. i’ve said before, i was 100% open to the reboot and having a new version of saints row. but there was just no justification for them to still be the saints. it was just way off with the tone and kept attempting to prove to you that it really was a saints row game by making the occasional reference. like the boss saying “it’s our time now, let’s get this shit started.” which i’m sick of hearing by now btw. like !!!! god why didn’t they just put a little effort into the writing. the enemy gangs sucked too. i was not interested in sergio at all. he was mentioned as being in group chats with neenah and then, because she betrayed them, he stole her car and destroyed it. that was it. he trashed neenah’s car. which, i’m sorry, is not enough motivation for me to even care one iota about sergio. what jess and maero did to carlos made me actually care whether they lived or died, and made one of the most brutal deaths in the series incredibly satisfying. sergio was just not giving anything. there’s a train heist mission where a final confrontation with him is supposed to happen which at this point i thought was strange since he hadn’t really been built up to even being a real antagonist. but then when he appeared, he was instantly killed by nahualli anyway. not even the boss. so i was like ok. literally no impact at all. the idols had no members that even stood out, so even though they kidnapped kev at some point i still didn’t really care about them. even after getting rid of both gangs i didn’t believe it was over ??? i thought they would return in force, but that was it apparently. killing some nameless idols and sergio instantly dying by someone else’s hand. that was all it took.

the missions… to me, it felt like there were only a few actual missions. the rest were just pushing you towards doing activities as mission gameplay or completing ventures to take over the map. there was very little story. and i didn’t do many side missions as i found them tedious and wanted to focus on the main plot. so when the game was trying to convince me that the saints had come a long way and now rule the city it was just completely out of place for me. imo a game should not require you to do all that inconsequential shit for the main story to even slightly make sense. that is not good. same thing with nahualli. i guess his betrayal was supposed to be some huge thing. but again, it had 0 impact because the dude was around for 2 or 3 missions and barely gave me time to care about him. the mission where you recruit members for your new gang literally just had you go on a genki-esque murder livestream and apparently that was it. that was all you needed to do for the game to give you some npcs hanging around the crib. bc the saints don’t do much else i can tell you that.

the boss was incredibly unlikeable to me. they have a pretty strong personality that is in effect at all times, never giving you a moment to let your mind wander and come up with headcanons for your own oc. which i suppose makes the boss a solid character. but also makes the whole “create your own boss” thing pretty redundant. i finished the game having made absolutely no notes about my own boss, and no longer caring about him at all.

just a mess. total shambles. really strange vibes. great concept, terrible execution. game forces you to care about its characters but gives you no time or reason to grow attached to them. just awful writing all around. nothing was impactful. really immature to the point where i genuinely couldn’t believe it was for grown adults. bizarre experience.

i’ve seen people say in response to the reviews that “a game doesn’t have to be good, it just has to be fun.” and i’m just going to let that speak for itself because wow alright

#asks #srr #reboot spoilers #i hated almost all of it so there’s a lot of stuff i didn’t touch on #again i sound like i’m just being petty but. it was bad all around #words cannot explain how shallow and nonexistent the main plot was #game literally relies on you taking over the entire map for the plot to even make sense

[mutatedangels-a]

you have to take better care of yourself. (lizzie)

@hungryyheart //

She's at the driver's wheel taking them home right now. She's technically the adult, not him. She is doing the best she can to take care of herself, despite just having been bailed out of county jail by him. How he managed to do that with the little money they had in her savings jar in the kitchen, she's not sure—but Lizzie's brain is fried, fried like the greasy meals she serves day in and day out at the diner, so she elects not to think about it too hard.

"I am," she insists. She's trying to get more money for them to get them out of her hellhole apartment, and out of this area in general. And for some reason, she believed that getting involved with her old boss again, slinging narcotics, was the best way to do it. Now she's not so sure anymore. She's lucky she got busted trespassing and not with possession, but her record isn't exactly squeaky clean, which means she'll probably be on the drug unit's radar for a while. It'll be some time before she can make good money again, enough to buy this place she saw a couple of counties over...

She focuses on the radio; the DJ is introducing an oldies but goodies night. Gangsta's Paradise starts playing and she immediately reaches over to shut it off as soon as she recognizes it. Way too on the nose.

#hungryyheart #c. lizzie #lizzie x conrad #v. you don't need to tell me; i know you love me most #no pressure to respond ever; thank u for the meme sweets!!

[abri-chan]

I dont think the destroyers are loyal to corsica Hes just their current contractor,we saw a few flashbacks in Cursed of a unknown man talking to marco(i honestly think he might be a 1st destroyer too)he might be their permanent contractor/boss.

Well they are loyal to the paycheck. In a Mafia manga, which Gangsta is, anyone is loyal to someone for some reason. The Monroes and Christianos by respect and leadership, and kindness too when it comes to Loretta's dad. Pauklee because they're all outcasts, since the guilt is mostly twilights and not a coincidence LGBT characters are from there too: the guild is an equalizer in that your skills are the ones to truly matter.

Then Corsicas, they're the big guns, they rule by fear because they have it all: money, drugs, women. Destroyers will be "loyal" to the hand that feeds them, because they want that paycheck. I do agree they couldn't care less is Uranos croaked tho. Hell, I even want Beretta to defect and leave them knee-deep in the mud.

(I don't think anyone likes Uranos, even his family "heads" or whatever Bernado, Victor, Svetlana, Georgiana are, don't. They just have no choice to follow him because he maintains the hierarchy, and they would have no power without him. Which is probably why they resent him, because he's a necessary evil. No one likes a dictator.)

#anime manga rambles #gangsta. #gangsta

[nmsthim]

#Blick

I need some money

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#100kfollowers #relatable memes #model #Actor #Rap #Sing #imfuckingwithyou #music #rhymes #album #camcorder #sae.package