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echobx · 1 month

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Erase Me - jj maybank x reader

summary: after a heavy breakup you and JJ Maybank confront each other about the impact this breakup had on you.

warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, established relationship, break up

word count: 2.2k

author's note: this was inspired by the song "Erase Me" by Lizzy McAlpine. I wrote this about a year ago when I felt really down and it's very emotionally heavy imo. it's written from the reader's point of view and reader is not marked down with a specific gender

link to the fic on ao3

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The constant hammering on my door woke me up. His old shirt was hanging loosely from my body as I got up and walked to the front door to open it. There were tears in his anger filled eyes as he looked at me. "Did you do it? Did you sleep with him?" He was leaning against the railing opposite the door to my apartment. An apartment that we had called our home once. A home we had chosen together, thinking we'd always stay together. Making it our home because the two of us were all that mattered back then. "I-" I tried to form an answer but he interrupted me immediately. "Deny it. Say it isn't real." Yet I stayed silent, lying would've only made things worse. "Wow. Thank you for your honesty," he scoffed and then he was gone. All while I was still standing there trying to figure out how all of this came to be. The tears started flowing as soon as I heard his bike roar and watched him drive away. Not even a shower could've helped me calm myself down. Seeing him had brought everything back, all the pain and the guilt. I knew that I shouldn't have to feel guilty about what I had done. Of course it had been a mistake but if he hadn't left me in the first place, I would have never been in this position.

I got dressed, my eyes still filled with an insurmountable amount of tears, and drove to the Château. We had rebuilt it after the fire, it had taken so long but it had been worth it. I hadn't been there since our first party after we finished. The only place where he could be was here, even after everything it was the only place he felt safe. "JJ!" I screamed after slamming the door of my car and walking towards the porch. "Don't you think you have done enough?" John B came running out and built himself up in front of me, stopping me from moving closer towards the house. "Because you know everything right? Because he told you everything?" I was so angry at him, at all of them. I pushed JB to the side so I could look at JJ. "You left me! You did that! I had nothing to do with that!" I yelled at my ex-boyfriend. He jumped up and came at me in full rage. "You slept with Rafe!" "I made a mistake after you broke up with me! That's hardly comparable, don't you think?" I spat out, there was still a huge gap between the two of us because I knew I wouldn't be allowed closer anyway. JJ ran his hands through his hair, something he always did when he was uncomfortable, but I kept going anyway. "I was alone at home for a whole month. A whole month, JJ! I didn't leave the apartment because you left me! No one gave a shit about me or how I was feeling. The people that are supposed to be my friends chose you and I don't even blame them. But it still hurts, it won't stop hurting. Because you left!" Kiara and Pope had come out of the house and now everyone was looking at me while I was having an emotional breakdown in front of the porch, but I didn't care about them. My eyes were solely fixed on him. "Don't you think I would turn back time if I could?" he yelled at me. "I don't know. I feel like I never knew you, because you promised me to never leave me and then you did! And I was miserable for a whole month, and no one reached out to me to even just see if I was still alive-" I stopped my yelling for a few seconds to gather my thoughts and started talking quieter. "I know I made a mistake, I know that, but after everything it was nice to just have someone who cared, okay? Can you blame me for wanting to have someone who just listened to me? Just for one night? I had the choice of staying at home again and being miserable or getting drunk and being around people even if they didn't care, at least I wouldn't be alone for a short time." "Stop trying to make excuses for what you did!" he was yelling at me, but I stayed quiet which seemed to enrage him more. "J, I'm not making excuses." I gently shook my head, tears streaming down my face as I looked into his anguished eyes. "I'm trying to explain myself. I'm trying to get you to understand why it happened. I don't need your pity, JJ. I just need you to understand it, okay? It doesn't even matter that it was him. I don't care about him. But for a short moment he was the only one I had and he cared about me and I made a mistake because I felt a sense of security that I had been missing for so long." I took a step forward but was immediately stopped by JB who placed his hand on my shoulder. I didn't care that he was restraining me, I was still only focused on the blond boy in front of me. "You destroyed me. You ripped out my heart and tore it to pieces long before I made this drunken mistake. Do you understand that? Sometimes you seem to forget that your actions have consequences, and if you had wanted to fix things, if you had wanted to not hurt me, then you wouldn't have left me like this." I really didn't want to sob anymore than I already was so I quickly turned around and left again. No one followed me, not like I had expected anything to happen anyway, but it hurt nevertheless.

On my drive home I thought back to the night. I had drowned my pain in alcohol, not wanting to feel a single thing, and Rafe had looked after me. It was weird, I hadn't seen him after we had left for El Dorado months before. But he was there and he was nice and gentle. He made me feel safe, which confused me even more since he had all so often tried to kill me and my friends. We talked most of the night, I don't remember much other than crying and talking, and then a kiss and everything else was a blur. I had woken up next to him feeling like absolute shit. Not only because I had just made a huge mistake but also because there was no way that I could recover from this socially. I was still too intoxicated to walk, but somehow I had made it down the stairs of the mansion and some girl had offered to drive me home. After that rumors about the night started spreading like wildfire. But all I could think of was that JJ would find out in the worst way possible. Even after everything I was still more focused on him being okay than on myself. I didn't let myself fall back into self-destructive behavior for the whole month we had been apart, not because I didn't want to, but because I knew it would hurt him more to see me in pain than I could ever hurt myself. I hated love. I hated the stupid universe for doing this to us, to me. I hated him for leaving me.

As soon as I got home, I got a text on my phone. Rafe. "Call me." I ignored it, nothing good would ever come of it. I changed back into JJ's old shirt. It didn't even smell like him anymore, but it was the only way I could feel at least a tiny bit less sad.

Three days went by where I didn't do anything. I didn't eat at all and barely drank enough water to stay alive. My whole life I had been abused and in pain because of it, but I had never felt this horrible. I didn't know how to deal with this type of pain. It encapsulated my whole being and the only thing I knew that would help me through it, was the guy that brought it all to live.

It was light in the night when I heard keys turn in the door and then footsteps as the door fell into its lock. I took the knife from my bedside table and walked into the living room. JJ was just standing there, only illuminated by the small night light that I had on behind the couch. "I think I broke his jaw," he slurred while looking at his bloody hands. The knife fell to the tiled floor with a loud clatter as I ran into his arms. I didn't care about what had happened. He was there, he was home and he embraced me with the same tightness as always. "I'm sorry, my love," JJ whispered against my neck, his tears running down my back.

I really didn't want to let go of him, but I needed to tend to his wounds so I walked him into the bedroom. He sat down on my side of the bed while I took out the first aid kid, just like I had done so many times before. He took off his jacket and then his shirt. His abdomen was covered in bruises and small cuts. I cleaned his wounds and he flinched every single time that I had to press the cleaning pad against a wound.

"Are you okay? Anything broken?" I asked quietly and he shook his head. "Is he still alive?" I tipped JJ's head up with my finger so he had to look at me. "Why do you care?" His eyes were filled with pain and anger. "I need to know if I have to deal with you getting assault or murder charges. He won't let this go, you know that." I tried my best not to enrage him more because I was too scared that he would run away from me again. "He's alive and well. He was laughing the whole time, I wanted to kill him," JJ mumbled and went back to looking at his bruised up knuckles. I got up and put the kit away. "You should sleep. I'm gonna take the couch." He grabbed my hand as I wanted to walk away. "Don't. Stay, please." "I don't know if that would be wise," I whispered and tried to avoid his sad eyes as much as I could. I didn't want to drown in him again, to lose myself in how good he could make me feel. His actions had scarred me and I really didn't want to get hurt even more than I already was. "I need you, I do. And I was stupid to push you away and it took me way too long to understand it all, all right? I'm not okay and it's worse when you aren't there. I know that it's all my fault. Can you forgive me? Not immediately, I know that's too much to ask, but in the future, could you forgive me for everything I did?" he pleaded. "You should sleep," I said and walked into the bathroom, leaving him behind. I scrolled through my gallery, specifically all the pictures we had taken over the last year of being together. It hurt to see how happy we had been but it gave me hope too. Maybe it was stupid to do so, but I had already decided to forgive him the moment he stepped foot back into our home. I convinced myself that it was the right choice because the thought of losing him forever was unbearable. It hurt more to know he could be happy with anyone else than it had when I had thought him dead after falling off the Coastal Venture, or his bike accident.

"Don't ignore me." Another text from Rafe popped up on my screen and ripped me out of my thoughts.

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Rafe Cameron: Don't ignore me.

Me: I was drunk and I made a mistake. Me: Stop texting me. Me: I am not interested, bye.

Rafe Cameron: He's back, isn't he. Rafe Cameron: He nearly killed me tonight. Rafe Cameron: Does that not matter?

Me: Leave me alone!

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I put my phone down and went to bed. JJ was lying on his side, eyeing me as I walked in and lied down beside him. "That's my shirt," he noted quietly, but I didn't reply. "Can I- can I hug you?" The insecurity was all present in his voice, he had never been like this, not when it came to me. I turned around to look at him. "Are you gonna leave me again?" He shook his head rapidly. "No. I'm sorry that I did that in the first place." I moved closer and he put his arms around me. Just minutes later he was asleep and I rolled over so his head was lying on my chest. I started playing with his hair, just like I had always done. It felt nice to pretend like nothing had ever happened. His scent filled me up like a fresh breeze of air, the smell of saltwater and weed and just him. I fell asleep and had my first dreamless night since he had left me.

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please don't copy and/or post my work onto other platforms! ~e©ho

link to the song:

#jj maybank #jj maybank angst #jj maybank x you #jj maybank x reader #my writing #~fanfiction #obx fanfiction #obx fic #obx one shot #rafe cameron #Spotify

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raelle-writing · 3 months

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Phee and Jin as parallels in DFF episode 7

I feel like I haven't seen enough people talk about how Phee and Jin are parallels in episode 7. Both reacting in anger in ways that damage Non, and that they likely carry guilt for in the future...

Spoilers for episode 7 below:

In episode 7, we see both Jin and Phee react to Non badly after finding out that Non has had sex with Keng. And the way they both react to that information is... not good.

Phee reacts to the knowledge that Non has been "cheating on" him (I'd like to remind people that Non was coerced so we as the audience shouldn't label it that way, but from Phee's POV that's what it was) by telling Non to "get lost and die"

And he says this despite knowing that Non has su*cidal tendencies and tried to take his own life what seems like mere days before this.

I feel like people gloss over this because they understand why Phee is angry. And I understand too. But the point still stands that Phee basically tells Non to go k!ll himself despite knowing that the consequences of that could be dire... and permanent. If Non actually d!es, disappears, or heaven forbid actually kills himself after this? I don't doubt that Phee will carry the guilt of those final words for the rest of his life, and think of what he could've and should've done differently to prevent that unfortunate fate...

On the other hand, Jin. Who reacts to seeing Non sleeping with someone by recording him. Jin isn't shown to post the video himself, but he still made that snap decision in anger. Copper has said Jin reacted this way because he thought Non was cheating on his boyfriend...

But regardless of his intentions, the fact remains that the video he recorded is the one that was later released. And you can see on his face even in the past that he feels bad about it, feels guilty for his part in what happened. And in the present you see that same guilt...

There's a parallel drawn between these two boys. The two leads of this series who have revolved around Non this entire time. One with a crush, one, his boyfriend. Both dealing with harsh emotions and dragged into the mess that's been created by the others. They both react in anger to the same situation, both do something INCREDIBLY damaging to Non in a snap moment of anger. And both of them, I'm sure, carry that guilt into the future...

It changes Jin from a happy, smiley person into one who is serious and harsh to his friends, who has a damaged relationship with those closest around him, who calls himself a coward and wants to run to another country and never come back.

And it changes Phee from someone who whole-heartedly loves and asks the person he loves to be his boyfriend... to someone who can't get the words out, who seems afraid of commitment. Because he could get hurt? Or because he could hurt them again?

The impact of these actions have changed both boys in the present, and the parallels in the episode are so striking and interesting... and I don't think people talk about it enough. There's potential for a compelling story about these two learning to heal and forgive themselves.

And I hope the show delivers on it, because it would be an incredibly deep and compelling story that touches on dark pieces of humanity that we all carry. The guilt and shame of not always being our best person, and the impacts that has on the people around us. It could show something really touching and heartfelt if these two people who were kids during all of this can learn to forgive each other, forgive themselves, and move into the future together.

#dff the series #dead friend forever #dff #pheejin #jin dff #phijin #Phee DFF #Phi DFF #Non DFF #DFF meta

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stheresya · 5 months

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i think it’s a little bit of a stretch to say that sandor is in love with sansa? like, he’s definitely attracted to her! but we don’t have enough material to label his feelings as "love"…

indeed we don't have enough material to state such a thing for certain. and i believe that what both sansa and sandor feel for each other right now hasn't quite matured into our notions of "love" because neither were in the right headspace to think of each other in a self-acknowledged romantic way, with sansa still being a child living in difficult circumstances and sandor having a lot of issues of his own to deal with. however, it's known that their dynamic is meant to play heavily into the beauty & the beast motif, with sansa as the beauty that inspires sandor who's been animalized his entire life into making himself a man again. if the batb trope being romantic in nature isn't enough, sansa and sandor's dynamic on its own also has romantic elements that one can't simply ignore: the cloaking symbolism which is the most important element of wedding ceremonies in westeros, or the fact that sansa remembers a kiss between her and sandor that never happened, or that she sometimes likes to compare men around her with sandor as if he is the standard, or even that sandor is the person with whom sansa has some of her most emotionally charged interactions. as to sandor, well, we don't have access to his thoughts but we know that sansa has made a great impact in his life, she helped him come to the realization that he deserved dignity, that there were things worth fighting for in the world other than himself. in the arya chapters that he appears in asos it's quite clear how much sansa is often on his mind in the way that he's always talking about her. even his dying thoughts are about her so...

is sandor in love with sansa? not quite, yet. at least i think he hasn't rationalized his current feelings for her as "love" with a capital L. his memories of her are too riddled with guilt for him to think of anything beyond how much he failed her in king's landing. but the seeds have been planted. it's undeniable that his knowing her has shifted the course of his entire life, and i've said before that he had a sense of devotion to sansa that he never had for anyone else, not even joffrey. so considering all the mutual impact that sandor and sansa had on each other, and the romantic trope that their dynamic is meant to play into, all that's left for us is to wonder if the author plans on doing something with that. maybe they'll reunite and their relationship will fully develop into romantic love, maybe they never meet again and sansa will only have the memory of his protection and a kiss that never happened to hold on to. i guess we'll see.

#sandor clegane #sansan #my asks

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axailslink · 1 year

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"You look so much better without it"

Shuri X reader

Summary: You become overcome with vengeance after Shuri makes an alliance with Namor

"Shuri seriously? An alliance? Really?" You and Shuri were currently having the worse disagreement ever. You rarely disagreed but when you did it always had a huge impact on both your well being. Shuri sighs and winces "can we argue another time? I am soon to be queen and the protector of Wakanda I make those hard decisions...you know this."

Hard decisions she's always making some hard decision for once you'd love it if she for once was able to make a simple decision. "You made an alliance with the monster who killed your fucking mother!" Shuri looks you up and down before speaking you can see it in her face you've touched the dog's bone and she's ready to bite your hand. "Were you there? Because I saw my mother not wake up after being drowned I am doing what my mother would want she would not want vengeance don't tell me anything about my mother because she would be disappointed in you. My mother was a queen and the biggest requirement for being a queen is sticking by your lovers side when they make a hard decision." your firey attitude that had once fueled your words was now put out with the biggest bucket of water as you realize what you had said to your love as she pointed her finger at you jabbing you in the chest. "Princess I'm just angry I just don't understand how you could form an alli-" she nods "it was Shuri when you were upset now it's Princess? You must be feeling guilty" You take this as your moment to leave there was no use in apologizing now she wouldn't want to hear it right now. You struck a nerve you knew better but you plucked the red wire that made the bomb tick faster. "Do you want help to our bed you're in pretty rough sh-" "no I want you to leave me alone I don't want to speak to you right now" you nod slowly but just can't agree to leave her there you go disagreeing with her again but she's hurt and no else in the lab but she's smart she knows how to heal herself. You breathe deeply before leaving the lab you stayed on the other side of the entrance but you can't do it you couldn't leave her alone by herself in this state. You stay there close enough to peak inside and sit on the ground you two never talked to each other like that you couldn't let it just sit there and marrienate. You love her and she loves you and you are way too grown to just be shouting words because you're angry you slowly walk down the lab steps trying to stay quiet but you can't when you're met with a saddened tear faced Shuri.

"I'm sorry" she nods and wipes her face "I'm sorry too I know th-" you stop her before she can finish her sentence you had to say your piece first "I am so sorry Shuri your mother was like a mother to me too and I projected my hurt and vengeful feelings onto you and you know I would never do that in any normal situation. I saw how T'Challa's death broke you I saw the anger in your eyes when your mother died. You being the love of my life I couldn't help but be angry too but I'm forgetting about you and that always standing by your side means during the bad times too that goes for your decisions and for that I'm sorry." Shuri sniffles and smiles before kissing your forehead you let the burning tears run down your face as the guilt washes out. "I um... I apologize too" Shuri says as she wipes at your face and kisses your lips but you stand confused "...why?" She fidgets with her hands momentarily "I uhm I've never talked to you like that and I don't have the right the next time I talk like that to you you best smack me" and just like that your flirty personality is back "I thought you told me you didn't like being hit in bed" she widens her eyes before laughing and immediately regretting it as she holds her side "still not fully recovered for your jokes yet y/n."

"Hm my princess I was not joking" you glance her up and down before smiling "we should get you out of this suit so you can heal properly" she scoffs "heal properly? Sure if that's the word choice you're going with but I thought you liked my suit" she says glancing at your lips then back at your sweet eyes and you catch yourself stumbling over your next words so you quickly turn on your heel and walk up the lab steps to avoid embarrassment but you look back at her as she watches you walk.

"I do love your suit I made it but let's be honest you look so much better without it" Shuri smiles and watches you walk out of the lab.

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zaenaris · 5 months

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I spoke with someone (who is anime only) and they told me that Koko wouldn't probably have gotten as much obesssed by money if he saved Akane and that Inupi was the one to have need of operations or he or he would have sseing how much Akane was upset because of her little brother's state.

Personally i'm not agree. Koko and Inupi were probably friends for years because Akane acted very familiar with Koko, so she knew him for a while.

And i'm sure that losing Inupi would have had a most terrible impact on Koko, because his feelings for Akane were a puppy crush and when he would have grow up our of it he would be shallowed by guilt to have not even thought to Inupi, to not have had enough money to save him. The feelings to be empty, the feeling to have been a horrible friend, the feeling of shame, and the guilt to not have saved him....it would have destroyed him.

He recovered from not have been able to save Akane and has Inupi to be here and to patiently wait him to get over his obessession but surely he wouldn't have recovered to have lost Inupi because nobody would have been here for him.

Maybe Akane would have tried to help but maybe Koko would have distanced himself from her because she looks too much like Inupi.

I agree with you @naehja

I understand that for anime-only people it may be difficult to understand immediately Koko and Inupi's backstory, there's a lot of new info, a lot of trauma and guilt involved, I understand it can be overwhelming and even readers had to re-read the whole story, analyzing the situation because, while I believe Wakui wanted Koko and Inupi story to be treated as a romantic one, (because the way he writes them and the tropes he uses for them, are strongly romantic-coded), I understand there are many levels of reading in their whole story and that

1)maybe Wakui wanted us to read it as romantic but decided to leave things a little ambiguous, just because, or

2)or what we saw in the manga is the best he could do, given the industry isn't the most queer-friendly around;

3)or he purposely decided to let readers free to have their own interpretation, romantic or not

but ultimately, if even now, when the story ended a year ago and we have plenty of confirmations regarding Koko andd Inupi's feelings for each other, manga readers still insists that Koko was an insensitive asshole that used Inupi "because he looks like his sister", then I fear we have a problem.

But this person you talked with is an anime-only, they still don't know how their last meeting before Bonten arc goes, etc etc, so I can understand if they are confused.

The problem is that many times people forget that, trauma or not, kissing your male friend when you're a boy yourself and you're perfectly aware of you you are kissing and what you are doing, isn't a very super-straight thing to do, especially when the writer made Akane (that in-universe represents both Koko's guilt and conscience) said to Koko "kiss only the person you like".

I understand many people (*cough*homophobic dudebros, generally*cough) prefer to see boy killing and do the worse thing to each other, but boys liking boys do indeed exist.

As us kokonui shippers always said, and as it was recently confirmed once again in the exhibition by Wakui in the extra chapter, Koko's crush on Akane was just that, an innocent crush that naturally faded; it became a major trauma only because Akane died an Koko felt guilty he couldn't protect her: at that point it wasn't even bc he had a crush at that time, it was because he felt he failed her, a nice, gentle girl, a person he cared about and that didn't deserve that terrible fate.

We know that in the end, with time and Inupi's help, Koko gets over -or at least, start to understand he can live without- his trauma and choses to be with Inupi as he always wanted, but without guilt.

In the end, if Akane survived and Inupi died, there would have been no one as close as Inupi has always been to Koko to help him, as you said.

Akane probably only knew Koko as Seishu's friend, otherwise they'd had no reason to interact, and Koko would have felt even guiltier for not thinking immediately to his friend; of course he'd be happy Akane is safe, but he would hate himself even more for not saving Seishu. I fear he would have kept making money but this time there would have been no one around trying to make him reason and make him realize he could live a life without his guilt, because, as we said, I doubt Akane and Koko would have any reason to interact without Seishu and in time, as we saw, Koko's crush was meant to fade anyway.

#tokyo revengers #kokonoi hajime #inui seishu #kokonui #inukoko #akane inui #asks #tokyorev anime spoilers #zae talks about tr

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hero-israel · 8 months

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Hello! I've been following your blog for a fairly long while now and I just wanted to say I deeply appreciate the way you write about and discuss the political situation. I'm an Israeli Jew and my feelings about this country and the society here are extremely complicated, particularly with regards to the very bleak outlook of where the current government is going, but talking about our politics anywhere online has been an exercise in frustration, futility, and agony, and at times it can be extremely isolating to hear how the reality I have grown up with and am intimately familiar with because it affects every facet of my life is discussed by people totally foreign to and unaffected by it. I have friends from all kinds of different counties across the globe, cultures, societies, and from all walks of life; I have been lucky enough to find at least a few those who are sympathetic and willing to hear and understand my perspective and put aside their, and those who I simply don't talk about our politics with so we can continue being friends out of a certain mutual understanding that it's a subject best left untouched. But on the wider internet any discussion around the situation has been a nightmare with anyone who isn't other Israelis. I've found it especially frustrating to talk to diaspora Jews because many of them come in good faith, but just cannot grasp the reality of growing up with this as a part of your life, and it gets insanely frustrating to get lectured on why we're in the wrong, what we're meant to do, how we need to be the bigger person because we're stronger, in face of an enemy who prioritizes our destruction and genocide over their own well being, on top of the general colonialist guilt and projection that Westerners like to do out of ignorance and disinterest in actually informing themselves on the topic. And while I have plenty to criticize our country and our leaders for and I would be the first to admit the reality of bigotry and prejudice that is very much present in our society, I rarely see this failing discussed as something that impacts real human lives of the people (especially, you know, mostly Jewish people) who live here, and not as an abstractly humanitarian moral wrong with which to dismiss the legitimacy of our very existence. So, thank you for consistently speaking on this topic with such clarity and knowledge, and staying consistently informed, even-handed and fair.

I am deeply honored by this; thank you for your kind words. And I appreciate the pain that you must go through as you see that it is an active struggle for so many people to care whether you, your neighbors, your family, live or die.

And the issue of "you have to take the risk / be the bigger guy, because you're stronger" does keep coming up on this topic. I think more people need to open their minds to the possibility that the weaker side in a conflict can very well be the worse (Confederacy/Union, Axis/Allies, Al-Qaeda/USA), and also that the strong / weak dynamic is reversed - and the Jews cease to exist - the moment you set foot anywhere past the borders of British Palestine.

Thank you for reading. Stay safe, and I hope you get good news soon.

#israel #jumblr

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sjsmith56 · 16 hours

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The Fae Elements, Part 6 - Of Love and Loss

Summary: While still in mourning Buck and Sage get married, then undertake the Solstice ritual to install her fae powers. Just before the final part of the ritual, disaster strikes.

Length: 8.2 K

Characters: Buck, Sage, Hope, Thor, Sam, Steve, Maria.

Warnings: Grief, guilt, mild sexual content, violence causing extreme injury, violence causing death.

Author notes: AI images were created by the author using Microsoft Copilot app in Designer mode. This is a long one, but it covers a lot of territory. I hope you liked this version of a fae world that co-exists alongside the modern one. Bucky with wings is 🔥. The pagan wedding vows have been taken from the website my wedding vows.com. They were slightly amended to use the term Creator instead of God, since pagans didn't worship one god.

<<Part 5

🌳 ⛰️ 🌊 🌕

Buck left the bed during the night, awakening me as he pulled himself out of my arms. I held onto his hand for several long moments, while he hesitated at the side of the bed.

"Don't go," I whispered. "Let me help you."

"I won't be long," he answered. "There's something I must do, and I can't rest anymore until I do it."

He left out of a door that seemed to lead to a terrace. By the time I got to the window he disappeared. I wanted to tell someone then I heard Hope's voice in my mind.

"It's alright, my brothers are with him," she said. "They go to comfort Richard's family. Meet me in the library if you don't want to be alone. The way will be shown to you."

I was still dressed from the previous night, but the clothes felt rumpled and uncomfortable, so I changed into a robe-like dress, then combed my hair and left the room. The way to the library was lit with a blue glow and I opened the door to where Hope sat in front of the fireplace. She smiled at me as I approached, reaching over and squeezing my hand as I sat next to her.

"I'm glad you were with him," she said kindly. "Mortals who write about the fae world think we don't care about our children like they do, but we feel just as deeply for them, worrying about their welfare, and hope we're raising them to be strong individuals, whether fae or mortal. Richard was a wonderful man, married with four children and eight grandchildren, one of them pregnant with his first great grandchild. He was a teacher, but in his retirement, he volunteered for a home building charity, sharing his love of carpentry that my father shared with him. His death will impact many people."

"I'm sorry. It seems like you all loved him very much."

I felt a wetness on my cheek and wiped it away.

"It's not your fault," said Hope. "You're not to blame for his death. They would have found a way no matter what. That they chose Richard was meant to weaken my father. He's been a strong king who has been incorruptible though they have tried." She smiled sadly at me. "The battle between the light and dark is elemental in itself. The universe was cloaked in darkness until the light exploded into existence billions of years ago. It is an eternal struggle to maintain the balance."

It didn't make me feel any less guilty for being enough of a distraction that Buck's attention was diverted away from his mortal son. Hope talked with me for some time, until I must have fallen asleep in the library, for I found myself waking up in the bed again, with Buck spooned behind me. The curtains were drawn so that we were in darkness, but it was obvious by the sunlight bleeding through the cracks in the curtains that it was the middle of the day. Carefully, I turned so that I faced him. His face looked so peaceful in the dimness of the room, but a small crease was still evident between his eyebrows, proof of the burden he carried, even in his sleep. A sudden urge to kiss that crease in the hopes of smoothing it away overcame me and I pressed my lips onto it. When I pulled away a smile was on his lips.

"A valiant attempt," he murmured. "Daere tried many times to remove that in the same manner. She called it my worry mark."

"I'm sorry I woke you. I feel so helpless. Thought a kiss would help."

"It does, more than you know." His eyes opened, tired but still bright, searching my face for a moment. "It doesn't seem fair that our marriage will be preceded by the murder of my son, but the Dark Overlord planned it that way. He uses terror and grief as a weapon, not realizing that for some people it is a crucible that makes them stronger."

"His family?"

"Will be taken care of," said Buck. "They will want for nothing, except the presence of their husband, father and grandfather." He stroked my hair. "I felt him die, while you were gathering food. Then you called for help, and I knew they had done it to gain access to the sanctuary. Even for a dark fae, it was a heinous act, for mortal family members are supposed to be safe from harm, by an agreement made in the days of the first fae king. The Dark Overlord has made it clear he has no regard for any of the laws that govern our kind. It means war between us. Only my remaining sons and I will attend Richard's funeral in two days time, as Hope has committed to staying for your protection. Many light fae are being recalled here to protect you."

"I'm not worth it," I answered, not feeling like I was compared to those he had sworn to protect when he became fae king.

"Of course, you are. You are a part of the sacred tree. Fae from other domains, the cold places, the ocean, the mountains, even from the hot lands, are sending help, for you are a descendant of the oldest fae family, the one that civilized us and made us more than tiny beings of mischief."

He kissed me then and we laid in the dark for a little longer until several thoughts were sent to us, to get up and face the day. After showering together, we dressed and made our way to the dining area, where the big table had been replaced by several small tables, as the big one could only ever seat 13 guests, no less and no more. Buck's other sons, Arthur and John, were there. Almost perfect duplicates of their father, they were both kind to me and I sensed no blame for the death of their younger brother.

The time until the funeral passed quickly, with Buck kissing me goodbye in the morning, promising to return by nightfall. My day was spent learning more of the wedding ceremony and Solstice rituals, as well as committing my vows to memory. There were some sacred words to be said for the "vows" but apparently Buck had asked they be spoken in English for my sake, and the sacred tree had given its blessing. When he returned, I was already in bed, but he slipped under the covers with me, nuzzling into my neck then weeping into my shoulder once more as he mourned his son's death.

The following night I was relocated to another room, where I was treated to a beauty regimen that was definitely magic. After it was done, my hair was shiny, my skin dewy, and there were no signs of any pimples or other blemishes of any kind. My gown, designed to match Bucky's suit was white with gold trim, and fit perfectly, as I tried it on one last time. We were kept apart that night since we had to leave very early from our eastern time zone on the morning of the solstice. We had to be at the sacred tree, which apparently was somewhere in Ireland, four hours ahead in their time zone. It was where the first fae king was crowned, and we had to be there before sunrise, 4:56 am, local time. It was going to literally be a long day for us, on the longest day of the year. At least we would take a portal there, with Loki, Hope, and Sam accompanying me. Steve, Thor and Buck left before us. The rest of the council were already there.

When we arrived at the grove where the sacred tree was located, I was amazed to see all sorts of flowers growing everywhere. Foxglove, daisies, cosmos, and primroses were just a few that I recognized. Their scent was everywhere, but not so much that it felt overwhelming. There was a misty quality to the place, as if a fog wasn't quite dissipated completely. Everything seemed so tranquil and beautiful. A single path led to the altar from where I waited, out of sight. I would walk it alone, just as Buck would wait alone for me, with Thor, as the oldest fae there, acting as the officiant. Our music was the natural sounds of the forest, the birds, the breeze, and the rustle of leaves. My bouquet was made of wildflowers. With a kind smile my three travelling companions left me to take their place. Then a voice in my head, Thor's voice, told me to begin to approach the altar. As I came around the corner from where I had been hidden, I almost gasped at the scene.

The sacred tree, large, gnarled and ancient, with pink tinged flowers appearing on the branches, dominated the space. In front of it, a carved altar made of wood displayed images of both real and mythical creatures of the forest, including one called The Green Man, apparently a masculine symbol of the forest. Buck waited in front of the altar, wearing an incredible suit that was mostly ivory white. Embroidered with an intricate pattern of gold thread it was styled similar to a fine suit from the 1700s. He wore a collarless white shirt underneath that seemed to be made of silk, which made sense as it was a natural fibre. Its sleeves poked out from the cuffs of the suit. On his head, Buck wore a crown of holly, apparently for its relationship to eternity, and the change of the seasons. When I reached where Buck stood, he offered me his hand and helped me up the single step to stand in front of Thor.

"Greetings, friends," he stated. "We are here to witness the sacred joining of our fae king, Buck, born James Barnes, to the mortal woman, Sage, born Sage Hawthorne. Before the vows are stated are there any objections to the union of these two individuals?"

There was no objection and Thor instructed Buck to state the vows. He did so without hesitation. Then it was my turn.

"I, Sage, in the name of the spirit of the Creator that resides within us all, by the life that courses within my blood and the love that resides within my heart, take thee, James, to my hand, my heart, and my spirit, to be my chosen one. To desire thee and be desired by thee, to possess thee, and be possessed by thee, without sin or shame, for naught can exist in the purity of my love for thee. I promise to love thee wholly and completely without restraint, in sickness and in health, in plenty and in poverty, in life and beyond, where we shall meet, remember, and love again. I shall not seek to change thee in any way. I shall respect thee, thy beliefs, thy people, and thy ways as I respect myself."

Thor asked for the rings, raising his hands to the sky. When he lowered them, the rings were there, both of them plain bands made of silver. He offered the smaller one to Buck, who placed it on my ring finger. Then he offered the larger one to me, to place on my husband's ring finger. Clasping our hands together he spoke in a language I had never heard before. He looked calmly at both of us before speaking.

"May the canopy of the forest shelter you; may you be protected by the hawthorn, the oak and the ash tree, and their shade grant you peace. Your bloodlines are now joined, now and forever. Even if you choose to part there will always be a bond between you, until you find each other again at the end of time. You may seal your bond with a kiss."

Just as Buck's lips touched mine a strong beam of the sun lit us up, making the gold thread in our clothes gleam. I felt a warmth fill me from all around, which apparently was the first moment of transformation as the sacred tree of my ancestor transferred some of its fae power into me. After receiving the well wishes of those who attended we were transported to another site, the base of a mountain. At the top of it was where the first consummation of our marriage would take place, with Buck flying both of us up there. Just before we took off a host of flower petals drifted down upon us, landing in our hair. With a smile I was lifted into Buck's arms, and we flew to where a small group of tall trees at the top of the mountain became visible. Built into the rock face beneath them was a wooden structure, open to the elements, containing a large bed. We landed on a terrace in front of the bed. The sun, although high, wasn't at its highest yet. I stood looking out over the great vista below us.

"This is incredible," I said. "Why aren't we on the tallest mountains?"

"It's not necessary," he replied. "It just has to be open to the sky when the sun is at its highest. We are somewhere in the Balkans by the look of things, and we have time to eat and drink. If you wish."

My ears had been warm since the sun first touched us in Ireland and I ran my fingertips over them. A pointed shape surprised me, making Buck smile.

"Your ears have changed. I must say, they suit you."

Inside the covered part of the structure was a small mirror and I took a look, seeing the change for myself. Accepting a glass of wine from Buck, we toasted our marriage then started to kiss, letting the inevitable joining of our bodies progress from there. By the time the sun was high overhead we were well into the first requirement of the Solstice ritual. It was freeing to make love out in the open like that, with only the sky and the sun as our witness. I felt a lightness in my body, as if I could do almost anything. There was some opportunity after our several couplings to relax as we touched and caressed, then I heard an apologetic voice in my head interrupting us that it was time to go. Obviously, Buck had heard the same voice since he rose from the covers and offered me his hand. Reluctantly, we dressed. While I was putting my dress on Buck alerted me to the presence of small butterfly type wings protruding from my back.

"These will be your true wings although they haven't finished forming yet," stated Buck, gently touching them with his fingertips. "You'll soon learn how to transform them into bird wings strong enough to lift yourself."

Covering me with his own great wings, he held me close as he formed a portal around us. We appeared on a beach, where the air was warm and humid, surrounded by palm trees. Greeted by the council, with cheek kisses and hugs, they seemed pleased at the physical changes to my body, proof of the ritual working. Then Buck offered me his hand and we walked along a wooden dock to where a boat waited. Steve and Sam were at the controls, both of them looking relaxed in the golden light of the sun which was now low in the sky.

"We'll get you within a comfortable flying distance, then return to the beach," said Steve. "At sunrise, we will be waiting for you at the rendezvous point on the boat."

We ate and drank on the ride until they slowed then stopped. We departed from them as Buck took me in his arms for a flight over the ocean. The moon was just peaking over the horizon, providing just enough light to illuminate the calm waters below us. It seemed that Buck knew exactly where to go as a small rocky island became visible in the distance. On it was a platform, with steps leading up to it from the water. A bed and several lit candle lanterns were the only furnishings there.

"You just happen to have this tiny island in the middle of the ocean waiting for us," I commented, a little sarcastically. Buck just grinned.

"The rocky part is real, the last remaining part of a long dead volcano that rose from the ocean in the South Pacific. The bed and lighting are magical. It was part of Steve's job to find this spot, using his contacts with the merpeople to locate it. It had to be isolated, as we draw magic from the ocean with the consummation. A spell will protect us in case a storm comes but as you can see it is a very calm and clear night. The merpeople will patrol below the surface and advise the council if there are any potential intruders. It's important that we're not interrupted." He looked at me with obvious desire. "For more than one reason."

Gracefully, he landed and released me from his arms. I almost wanted to laugh at how otherworldly and weird it all seemed. This tiny island in the middle of the ocean was set up just for us to have sex. As I looked out over the waters, I could hear mournful sounds coming from it. Buck came up behind me, wrapping his arms around me as he rested his chin on mine.

"Is that whale song?" I asked.

"Uh huh." He listened for a moment. "They're giving us their blessing. Come to bed, my beloved."

In the light of the lanterns that were near the bed, he undid the fastenings of my dress, kissing my neck and shoulders as it fell from my body and draped itself over a chair that appeared, my magic asserting itself, according to Buck. His own individual pieces of clothing seemed to unfasten themselves, although I helped remove them. Like my dress they moved of their own accord, finding a place to be. The lights of the lanterns slowly grew dim so that our bodies were lit only by the full moon, low on the horizon, with just a sliver of sky separating it from that viewpoint. Whether it was an optical illusion or was just my imagination, it seemed to be the largest I had ever seen the moon appear. Despite being in the middle of the ocean I felt as warmed by the moon's glow as I ever did by the sun's rays. As we kissed it felt like something extraordinary surrounded us.

"It's beginning," said Buck, stepping back a little as he held my hands.

There was a silvery glow to my skin that seemed to flow from the reflection of the moon in the ocean straight towards me, enveloping me in something enchanted. All of my senses seemed to come alive as we explored each other's bodies like it was the very first time. Every kiss to my skin sent tendrils of pleasure radiating from the contact point. Every caress of my breasts increased my need for Buck to join with me in any way possible. Every roll of his hips as he thrust into me sent me into such a state of joy that I wanted to cry out to the heavens. I imagined this must be like the best psychedelic trip of all time, except I was fully in charge of my faculties, fully aware of where I was and who I was with. Our minds and bodies were joined in such a way that I realized this was the love I had longed for my whole life. This fae man, entwined with me, was my life, as I was his; our connection was physical, emotional, and spiritual all at the same time. After the attainment of our shared climax we laid in each other's arms, spent but not exhausted.

"Is this how it feels to be connected to life?" I asked, as I became aware of all the sea life around us, even the sea anemones and corals that clung to life on the sides of the rocky promontory that extended down to the bottom of the ocean where we were. I could hear and understand the song of the whales that were bolstered by the calls of the merpeople under the gentle swells. "Do you hear and feel this all of the time?"

"Yes," he replied. "It was overwhelming at first but when Daere chose to undergo the process it was so much better to share it with my mate. Just as it's better with you, Sage. You were always meant for this; to be at my side, to be part of the life of this earth."

Gently, Buck wiped tears from my cheek, as I wept with awareness of all that was good and all that threatened the natural world. It was such a responsibility that he had been solely burdened with since Daere died. How he managed to function without a mate to share this commitment with for so long was beyond my comprehension. All I knew for certain was that I was part of it now, freely choosing to do this with my king, my mate, and my love.

Slowly, the moon began its journey back below the horizon, and we were left in darkness until a glow appeared on the surface of the ocean. All sorts of blue, green and white lights appeared at the top of the waters then slowly drifted back down to where they originated. I sat on the bed, entranced by the spectacle, having never seen anything like it before.

"Bioluminescent creatures," said Buck. "They live deep where there is no light but create their own. They come to pay their respects." He stroked my back; his warmth feeling so good on my skin. "We can catch some sleep now until just before sunrise."

His suggestion for sleep was a good one as we had been going for over 24 hours, in several different time zones. Within moments I was gone, calmed into sleep by what I realized was a lullaby being sung by the merpeople. Its haunting beauty was both hypnotic and soothing, sending me into a wonderful dream filled with light and love.

"Sage." The voice was barely audible, like the gentle buzz of a bee in the garden. It was a voice I knew but I strained to hear it. "Sage, listen. There is a way that you can save him. If you give it all up and give him up for how ever long it takes for him to heal, he can live. My beautiful girl. I miss you so much."

I opened my eyes, turning to look at Buck in the pre-dawn light, his eyes closed and his face at peace after all the turmoil of the past few days. That vision I had of him, pale while the light of life left his eyes, was there again at the edge of my consciousness but so were the words that woke me. What did it all mean?

It didn't take long to find the boat waiting for us after we lifted off from the island. Sam and Steve were on it again and offered us food and drink to restore our energies after the long day and night we experienced. It seemed like simple fare, cheeses, fruit, honey and bread but it tasted wonderful, almost as if I could sense all the love and care that went into its preparation. Soon, the boat was pulling up to the dock and we were greeted with warm words and wishes. We had one more stop to make, a return to the sacred tree in Ireland to present ourselves as bonded mates. That encircling of the globe would complete the ritual. As the rest of the council activated their own portals to return there, Sam and Steve secured the boat as Thor waited. Then we returned to Ireland together, landing in a beam of lightning.

It was strange. Although the council had left before us, they were nowhere to be seen in the glade where the sacred tree was. The three fae princes produced their swords as did Buck. Being new to all of this, I wasn't sure what to do but they placed themselves around me and we began to advance towards the tree. We found Hope first, as Buck cried out and kneeled beside her, sprawled amongst some tall sunflowers, although no injury was visually evident.

"She's alive," he said, laying his hands on his daughter. "Hope, wake up."

A moan answered him and then her eyes fluttered open. "Trap," she whispered, then she lapsed back into unconsciousness.

"You should go," said Thor. "There is a feeling of darkness here." He seemed to be searching for his brother telepathically but there was no answer. "Buck, take your bride."

"No, we must finish the ritual to complete the process," he insisted. "She won't be safe otherwise."

Taking my hand in his free hand we approached the sacred tree. With Thor, Steve and Sam covering our backs we kneeled in front of it and Buck recited something in what I assumed was Latin. Just before he finished it, a shadow in the shape of a man materialized out of the air, thrusting a black sword into Buck's chest. It happened so fast that he had no chance to react, other than to push me back, away from danger. The shadow man lifted him up overhead, still impaled on the sword and threw him away from the tree. Instinctively, I thought of my hands as weapons, generating a blue energy from them that caught the shadow man in the chest. He began to thrash, then the shadows fell away to reveal the lawyer of HYDRA Mining, Alexander Pierce.

"NO!"

His face was locked in a grimace as he reached for me, but I sent another pulse towards him, then found my efforts supported as Thor raised his hammer then struck Pierce in the head, separating it from his neck. A cloud of dark energy erupted from the headless body then twisted painfully as my pulse of blue, and Thor's lightning burned through it, until it was gone. I was suddenly exhausted then remembered Buck and scrambled to where he was. Sam and Steve were trying to stem his blood loss but as I hovered over him, I realized this was my vision that had been prickling at the edge of my consciousness. His skin was already pale and the blue light in his eyes was fading. I placed my hands on his cheeks and for a moment they pulsed blue then faded as I had used all of my power destroying Pierce.

"No," I cried. "Don't die. Don't leave me."

"Beloved," gasped Buck. "Amica mea. It's okay. If he's dead, then you are safe. My beloved Sage."

My tears fell on his face as I begged him to stay with me. I looked at the others who stood around, helpless in their grief. Then I remembered the words that were whispered to me.

"I don't want this power, not if I don't have you. Take it, take it all." I raised my eyes to the sky. "Please, save him. I'll give him up, give up all of my magic if you just let him live."

"Sage, if you do this, he can no longer be king." Thor was kneeling beside me. "He can only live as a mortal now as all of his own magic will be needed to heal his wound. Even then there is no guarantee as he was pierced with a dark fae blade."

"I don't care," I cried. "Please, don't let him die. Don't let all that he was be lost."

"No, beloved." Buck's voice was barely a whisper. "Don't do this. You were meant to be queen."

"Not without you." I was certain of this. "Please."

My tears were unstoppable as I laid my head on his shoulder. I could hear the voices of the others then everything went black. When my eyes opened, I was in a dark room. Sitting up, I saw that it was the same room I first stayed in when Buck brought me to the stronghold. It was dark and the almost full moon shone through the window, although it was low in the sky. Before I could leave, someone knocked on the door, then entered and stepped into the moonlight.

"Hope," I said. "Your father ...."

"He will live," she answered. She sat on the edge of the bed. "Your magic is depleted and can never be restored. Neither will you ever have a child with magic."

"I want to see him."

"It's not possible," she answered. "The sacred tree used both your magic and his to treat the injury but there was a price to be paid. He is mortal now, and he has lost his memory. I had enough time to give him something to ground him when he wakes up, but he won't remember who he is or what he was. He is out of our hands now. The sacred tree instructed that he be taken to a mortal place and left there to begin his new life. I don't know where he is. He is unseen to me."

"But what about us?" I asked.

"You offered to give him up and the sacred tree is fae. Your offer was accepted as a fair trade for saving him. If your love is true, you may find each other again, but there are no guarantees. I'm sorry."

Her words hit me like a wave of ice water. He would live but he was lost to me, possibly forever. As I began to cry, Hope held me, stroking my hair and back, then sat with me for the rest of the night as we talked of many things. When the first signs of dawn became visible, she left me to get dressed then escorted me to a terrace where the council waited. All of them who had gone to the sacred tree ahead of us looked ill, as if they were recovering from a terrible illness. Pierce had apparently poisoned them as they appeared there, wanting to isolate Buck and me to attack us without warning. No one suspected that he was the Dark Overlord, since his camouflage as a mortal lawyer had been so successfully portrayed. He apparently didn't believe my strength would be of consequence in standing up to his, expecting to overwhelm me completely and take my powers for his. My counterattack weakened him enough for Thor to slay him. At least his influence would be gone, until the next dark fae became powerful enough to become the Dark Overlord.

After saying goodbye to the council, Steve offered to return me to my apartment, encircling me with his wings and activating a portal. We appeared on the street in front of my building, just before the dawn and he looked around to make sure our arrival wasn't witnessed.

"Will I see you back in the courtroom?" I asked.

"No, Sam and I will be leaving Washington and returning to the stronghold," he replied, kindly. "The sacred tree is set to choose the next candidates for fae ruler and it's always a possibility we may be chosen. Gaia Life will still exist, but I suspect it will return to a grassroots level, educating people to respect the environment. We are recommending that we undertake a greater effort to find and support the descendants of Lilith and the Hawthorn, encouraging them to accept and develop their powers. Your powers were truly what made the difference in defeating the Dark Overlord." Suddenly, he brushed a tear away from my cheek. "He loved you very much. Believe that it will bring you back together, someday."

With a grim smile, I nodded, then stepped back and watched as his wings extended and he lifted up into the air, watching him until I couldn't see him anymore. On the elevator up to my floor, I thought of all that happened to me over the last few months. My whole life had been uprooted, starting with the death of my father, and ending with the loss of my husband. As I checked my work emails, I realized I had changed too much to return to that job. I didn't know what I was going to do but it wasn't going to be in the cynical atmosphere of the nation's capital.

One Year Later

The sunburnt face and grizzled chin of the farmer I was representing in front of the county board, seemed satisfied when the board agreed that the fracking company, which had set up next to the property line of his farm, had damaged the aquifer enough to affect the quality of his well water. They were ordered to cease and desist all operations, to pay him damages for what they had done, and to pay for the installation of a water tank, as well as the supply of fresh water until such time as his well recovered, based on an independent assessment. It was as good a victory as any I had achieved when I was a high paid lawyer in Washington. For this representation, the best I could expect to be paid was about $5000 but I was also given a permanent invitation to dinner with the farmer and his family, plus a side of beef whenever I needed it. As he, his wife, and kids thanked me while I placed my files in my briefcase I happened to look up and see a familiar face. The woman who wore it sat in one of the stacking chairs that were available for the public to witness the proceedings.

Maria smiled at me as I approached. "I wasn't expecting to see you, not here out in the country."

"Officially, I'm not here," she said. "Is there somewhere we can talk?"

I nodded, then we headed out of the county building to where my truck was, and I deposited my case in the front seat. There was a coffee shop across the way, and we walked across the quiet small-town street, waiting on a truck to pass in front of us before completing the journey. A wave to the waitress from me brought two cups and a pot of coffee.

"Lunch?" asked the waitress, Norma.

I looked at Maria and she shook her head. "No, not today, thanks."

"Should you even be here?" I asked. "I mean, Gaia Life pulled out of Washington pretty quickly, after ...." I left the final part unsaid as it was still painful for me.

"Officially, no, but Hope asked me to come," she replied, then she took a brochure out of her purse. It was for a county-run campground in the next state over, extolling the virtues of a pristine environment, without electricity, wifi, or any of the interruptions of modern society. "She thinks it might be a good idea for you to go camping next weekend. A reservation has already been made and paid for."

I looked at Maria with surprise, but she didn't enlighten me, taking that moment to sip her coffee. So, I asked.

"Why?"

"Just go," she said. "Our new rulers want you to be happy and feel that you may find the visit memorable."

"Rulers? A king and a queen?"

She shrugged, making me understand that I wasn't really permitted to know anymore. Then she smiled kindly again.

"We have looked out for you, you know. You seem happier here than you were in Washington."

"It's quieter and the work is the same, but the rewards are more obvious and satisfying, I guess. I'm still considering my options. How is everyone?"

"Still adjusting but we're alright." She looked at my neck and my left hand. "You still wear them."

"I'm still his wife and I still feel him. I'll never forget him."

"I'm glad." She looked at her watch. "Well, my ride should be here soon. It was good to see you, Sage. Thank you for the coffee."

"You're welcome," I said, internally wondering about the real purpose for the brief visit.

We walked out to the street and a vehicle pulled up in front, with a bald, dark-skinned man driving. He nodded at me, then Maria hugged me, and got inside, receiving a kiss from the man. With a wave, they were gone, as they turned the first corner. With the brochure in my hand, I got in my truck and headed home to the small house I lived in on the edge of town. Opening my laptop, I looked at the website for the campground, seeing only pictures of a small lake, with rustic campsites. Inside the brochure was a folded piece of paper with my reservation and the date, the next full moon. Since I was usually alone anyways, it seemed a good idea.

That weekend I loaded up my pride and joy, a small camper vehicle, big enough for two, or in this case me and my girlfriend's dog, Arlo, who I often brought along to keep me company when I went camping. We headed out in the rain, just after breakfast for the 6-hour drive to the campground. When I did arrive there, the rain was gone, the sun was out and the small campground, with no services, was empty. I found the one reserved for me, that looked out over the small lake but still had the shelter of the trees for shade. It was perfect. After setting up the portable solar panels for power I set up my small picnic table with a camp stove and pulled out my chair, a book, and began to enjoy the solitude, while Arlo rested in the sun before moving to the shade of the camper. The scent of the trees hung heavy in the air, lulling both me and Arlo to sleep. When we awoke the sun was low and I brought out the lantern. Open campfires were prohibited so the light of the lantern would have to suffice. As I came out of the van I saw a figure, standing with his back to me, a short distance away, looking out over the small lake.

He seemed familiar to me, in his heavy flannel shirt, jeans, and hiking boots. When he turned his head to the side, my heart jumped, for his profile was just as beautiful as I remembered. At that moment he became aware I was watching and turned around to face me. Arlo looked at him with ears perked up but didn't seem alarmed at the sudden presence of the man.

"You picked a nice spot," he said. "You respect the space, by keeping your vehicle on the gravel and not starting a campfire. Others who have had this spot to themselves have often ignored the no open campfire sign."

"It is fire season," I replied, keeping my voice steady, as it was obvious he didn't recognize me. "I don't need it. Once the moon comes up and reflects off the water it will be so beautiful and peaceful out here. It's what I wanted more than anything."

He nodded then approached where I sat. He kneeled down and gestured to Arlo, who approached him readily, wagging his tail. Scratching Arlo behind the ears, then his neck made the dog fall onto his side offering his belly. The man chuckled.

"How long have you had him?" he asked.

"He belongs to a friend," I answered. "He's my camping buddy. Living in town can be stressful for a dog so this is his vacation time as well."

Nodding his head sympathetically he looked up at me. "I'm James," he said.

"Sage," I replied. "Are you a camper here?"

"No, I live nearby but I check up on the place for the county and remind people not to have open campfires." He smiled at Arlo, who was pawing him for more belly rubs. "Have we ever met?"

"I was thinking the same thing," I answered. "Except I've never been here before."

"Maybe it's from before I was injured. I almost died and lost most of my memories. Sometimes, I get a flash of them, but it doesn't last." He stood up. "I should get going."

I didn't want him to go. "James, would you like to join me for some hot chocolate? I have another chair in the camper. I wouldn't mind the company."

His smile was soft, as he looked out over the water for a moment then back at me. "I wouldn't mind that at all."

I brought the chair out for him then filled the kettle with water and set it on the burner inside the camper, opening a couple of packets of hot chocolate into a couple of mugs. Inside my camper I also had a bag of mini marshmallows, and I brought them, along with some cookies, placing them on the small picnic table. Before the water boiled, I shut the stove down and poured some water in the mugs, stirring the powder to remove the lumps. Then I poured the rest of the water in, stirring to mix it together smoothly. James watched me as I stepped out of the camper, then took the mug from my hand.

"Thank you," he said, then sipped it and sat back in the chair. He leaned towards the table and took some mini marshmallows, adding them to his drink. "That's better."

He took a couple of cookies and dunked one in the hot chocolate. Quietly, we sipped our drink, watching as the full moon came up over the water. It looked exactly like it did the night of the Solstice ritual on the tiny island in the middle of the ocean. I suddenly sobbed and he looked at me, concerned.

"Are you alright?"

"Just remembering my wedding night," I replied, quickly wiping the tears from my cheeks. "It was on a full moon like this. I lost my husband the next morning. He was murdered in front of me."

"I'm sorry. That must have been devastating." He looked over at the moon. "It seems familiar to me as well but it's a memory that just ...."

He shook his head, frustrated.

"I promise to love thee wholly and completely without restraint, in sickness and in health, in plenty and in poverty, in life and beyond, where we shall meet, remember, and love again." My voice was a whisper.

"What did you say?" he asked, putting the mug down. I repeated it. "I know those words. What was your husband's name?"

"Buck was what everyone called him, but he was born James Barnes," I said, looking directly at him.

"Sage ... is your last name Hawthorne?"

"It was, but I kept my husband's name. It's me, Buck. Don't you remember me?"

"How was your husband killed?"

"A sword through the heart. He actually survived, but he lost all of his memories of me, and I wasn't permitted to stay with him, because he didn't know me, at all."

"Was your wedding night on an island in the ocean?" I nodded. He touched his chest and pulled up his shirt, showing a great scar in the middle of his chest. "They said I was impaled by a weapon, that I almost bled out and I was lucky to survive. It wasn't luck, was it?"

"No, it was magic, but it came at a cost. You lost all of your magic and I gave up all of mine to save you, plus I had to leave you. They said if our love was true, we would find each other again. Now, here you are, in front of me. Have you found me, Buck? Please say you've found me again."

"Amica mea," he murmured, then he looked at me again, his eyes dark, as his memories returned. "Beloved?"

"Yes!"

The tears were streaming down my face, and I wanted to go to him, but my feet wouldn't move. He stood up and came to me, turning me so that my face was fully lit by the lantern. Gently, he touched my cheek with the back of his fingers.

"You cried over me," he said. "Hot tears were falling onto my cheeks, as I called you my beloved, over and over again. You said you would give it all up to save me, that you never wanted it, not if I wasn't with you. There were others there, but I couldn't hear them. I only remember your face and your pendant, then it went black. When I woke up, I was in a hospital. The police said I was found in a park with a stabbing chest wound that just missed my heart by a fraction of an inch. They never found who did it or who phoned for an ambulance. I only knew my name because of my identification. It said I lived near here, alone, running my own furniture making business. I knew how to make the furniture, but I didn't remember actually doing it. Who was I?"

I smiled. "You were special, and I will tell you everything but right now I just want to do one thing, if you'll let me."

He smiled back then he placed one hand in my hair and one around my waist. Gently, he kissed me, and I felt the familiar feeling of all of his kisses. Our kiss deepened and he pulled me closer, wrapping his arms around me. I could detect a touch of his scent, the rich scent of the forest after a rainfall. Another scent, that of cut wood was more prominent, probably from the work he did making furniture. It was the feel of his arms around me that confirmed I had him back. Suddenly, I was aware of the sound of wings lifting a body into flight, not just one set but several and I looked around to see them, the fae, who had found my love and brought us back together again, but they were already gone.

Then I saw it on his ring finger, the silver wedding band. He noticed where I was looking and took my left hand in his, rubbing my wedding band with his thumb.

"I didn't know if I was married or widowed, but I kept it on, hoping it would help me remember," he said. Then he gazed at me again. "How did you find me?"

"The fae elements," I replied. "Earth, Air, Water, and Fire, and the fifth one, Love. I think they looked for you and made it possible for us to find each other again."

"My beloved Sage. It's coming back to me. You really did give it all up for me?"

I nodded. "We're both mortals now, joined until we move on to the next life."

"Then I'm happy," he said. "You're all that I want."

We kissed again, in the light of the full moon that covered the water of that small lake in its reflected glow. Then we made love in the small bed of the camper, wrapping our arms and legs around each other as we rekindled the passion of our earlier life. Finally, we slept in each other's arms, while Arlo curled up on the floor. It was quiet and intimate, and over too soon until I moved in with Buck, at the cabin he lived in outside a small town in rural Pennsylvania. That weekend set the stage for years to come as we took our increasingly growing family camping in larger vehicles but always beside a remote lake during the full moon to experience its magic. Occasionally, we received visits from certain individuals who never aged but always seemed happy for us and gleefully played with our children and grandchildren. They grew up believing in the magic of mythical creatures and sacred places and knowing of the necessity for love and friendship in a world that always seemed at odds.

As for us, personally ... as we grew older, seeming to race towards the inevitable end of our time together, we knew it had all been worth it. Buck found peace and contentment with me, his last mate, and I found happiness with the love of my life. When our time came, we faced it together, and jumped into the unknown, secure in our belief that our love would always bind us together, forever. Although it was thought by the fae council that I represented the element of truth, Buck and I believed that I was also love, truly the most intangible element, as it kept the bond between us alive while we were apart.

Part 7>>

Series Masterlist

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#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #buckybarnes original female character #sam wilson #steve rogers #bucky barnes au #james buchanan barnes au #fae king bucky #fae bucky #fae king #fae #sacrifice for love #mortality

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novelmonger · 3 months

Note

2-4, 13, 16, and 24 for any fandoms, please?

2. a headcanon you weren't sure about at first but have come to like!

I used to get kind of annoyed when FMA fans would talk about Roy Mustang being Xingese. Like, what, just because Arakawa-san drew his eyes a little pointier than other characters', that means he's from Xing? Some people just have smaller eyes, you know! Yoki looks more Xingese than Mustang, if you ask me, yet nobody talks about him being from Xing!

But I've read some really interesting fics that explore what it would mean if he was Xingese, or half-Xingese. The implications of one or both of his parents being Xingese immigrants, legal or otherwise, can be really fun to poke at.

3. a character that fandom has helped you appreciate

You know, if I'm being really honest, I never particularly cared about Merry from LotR that much. He just didn't interest me, compared to all the other characters. But I have to say that hanging around the Fig Tree Discord server has given me new appreciation for him, because of how much they talk about him in such glowing terms XD He's still probably my least-favorite of the four main Hobbits, but I have to acknowledge that he is one practical dude who can Get Stuff Done, and there's so much courage and angst and hurt/comfort in his scenes in the Battle of Pelennor Fields and the aftermath.

4. say something nice about a ship you don't ship (it can be another ship in your fandom, a mutual's OTP, etc)

Mmkay, so I don't ship Bucky and Natasha (mostly because I don't ship Bucky with anyone post-Winter Soldier), but I will say I can understand the appeal. Two ex-assassins who were turned into living weapons, basically, had their bodies modified against their will, carry a huge weight of guilt for the things they've done.... I feel like, if Bucky were to have a successful romantic relationship with anyone, it would pretty much have to be Natasha. She's the only one who could relate to him on that deep of a level, and she would understand his need to go slowly, know how to help him with PTSD, etc.

13. your favorite type of fandom event (gift exchange, ship week, secret santa, prompt meme, etc)

I think I'd have to say prompt challenges, considering I've done three 100 Themes fics, have an ongoing one-sentence prompt challenge fic, and am currently doing my Let Me Count the Ways dialogue prompt challenge. A really good challenge will have words or phrases that immediately suggest a story, but aren't so specific that you have no wiggle room to fit it to various characters.

16. a tiny detail in canon that you want more people to appreciate

This keyboard thing from Andor episode 7 is made from a steno machine! The little typewriter-ish device court reporters use when transcribing court proceedings! I would recognize it anywhere, and I just want everyone to appreciate the origin of this cool-looking prop.

24. how has fandom positively impacted your life?

The most important thing fandom has given me is virtually all the friends I have today. I've met some of the most wonderful people in the world through fandom, people I probably would never have met because of where they live (@dairogo I'm looking at you), because we wouldn't have much in common without fandom (hi @rainintheevening), or simply because we're enough apart in age and space that our paths would probably not have crossed otherwise (<3 @sergeanttomycaptain). I love being able to connect with so many different people through fandom, like most (if not all) of my mutuals here. Even though we have different perspectives on some things, we can all come together when it comes to love of a great story.

Love Your Fandom asks

#ask and you shall receive #valiantarcher #ask games #sorry this took a couple days! it's been a busy week

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mindmeltonabun-blog · 4 months

Text

My Demon: Theories and Analysis for Eps 9-10

Happy New Year, Readers!

I hope 2024 brings great things for everyone. I delayed posting a T&A post for Eps 9-10 partly due to holiday busyness and partly because I'm tired of plagiarists taking my theories and ideas and reposting them as their own. For those who have been my followers for a while now, you know this has been a constant issue for me. I don't think it's hard to give someone credit for original ideas that they've come up with.

I thought I wouldn't encounter this same issue with the MD fandom, but I was wrong. I saw a Twitter user taking multiple theories of mine and reposting them as their own. I don't rule out the possibility that people can have the same thoughts, but when you're specifically mentioning things only I had talked about and no one else did, it makes you look guilty as hell.

Hours after I posted my T&A for Eps 1-6, they decided to take multiple theories of mine and post them to their account. One example is how they took my idea that the cross necklace either once belonged to Do Hee or was given to Gu Won by Do Hee. Another example is how they took my idea that the cross tattoo on her wrist symbolized she was the source of it all. There are many more examples, but I don't want to spend all my time listing them all out. It's the same old spill, though; they're doing it for clout. In the future, I won't be posting my theories or analysis for eps until a day or two before the newest episodes come out. This ensures the cheaters won't be able to use my theories for their own personal gains. But enough about this piece of trash.

I want to forewarn everyone this post is very long like 17 pages so definitely take a break from it whenever. If you have any questions about anything I've written so far for MD, please feel free to use the "Ask Me Anything" button and I'll try to answer your questions ASAP! There are probably grammatical mistakes...it's hard to edit 17 pgs worth of shit haha. Finally, if you choose to use my stuff, give me credit, that's all I ask.

Time to put on our thinking caps to analyze and theorize!

Section 1: General Thoughts

Eps 9-10 were top-notch! I admire the writer's ability to incorporate twists inspired by literature, movies, kdramas, fairytales, art, math, etc. One major theme appears to be the profound impact our choices can have, leading to unintended consequences not only for ourselves but also for others. The show also delves into the coexistence of seemingly opposing elements, such as angels and devils or odd and even numbers.

The clock in the intro, featuring angels and devils, draws inspiration from MC Escher's "Circle IV: Heaven and Hell." Escher, influenced by mathematics, created art that explored the interlocking nature of opposites, mirroring the eternal connection between Do Hee and Gu Won.

Now, let's discuss the intricate math woven into this show. The complexity of the numerical elements has forever changed my perception of numbers. For instance, I once saw "snake eyes" as 1+1=2, but after MD, I now see it as 11. Similarly, 10 used to be just 10, but after MD, I see 01 is its mirror image, and 1+0=1.

MD provides a fresh perspective on Dostoevsky's "Crime and Punishment" and "Demons," exploring psychological complexities, moral and existential dilemmas, societal and political systems, faith, morality, isolation, alienation, guilt, internal struggles, and redemption. Much like these literary works, MD delves into the psychological toll of potential crimes and the impact of abuse on individuals. It's a concoction of various influences, reminiscent of Frankenstein, weaving elements from Romeo and Juliet, DAYS, TOTNT, Goblin, Lucifer, The Bodyguard, Greek Mythology, Christianity/Catholicism, Cinderella, and Beauty and the Beast.

The overarching message from MD seems to be that everyone harbors inner demons, and it's how we confront and handle these demons that defines us. Our choices can lead to positive, creative outcomes or negative, destructive consequences, shaping not only our self-perception but also how others perceive us—angelic guardians or malevolent demons.

Section 2: Gu Won's Past

2.1 Gu Won's Name: A Divine Revelation

As I revisited my previous ideas and rewatched episodes, Jang Mi's line, "I'd say the heavens or his ancestors did," really got me thinking. Recall that in my last post I theorized Gu Won might be related to Madam Ju. Well, after I saw Jang Mi's comment, I felt like I might be onto something.

I repeatedly wrote "Ju Yi Sun…Ju Yi Sun" and thought about ways my theory could be wrong (like, what if he's a Park? Kim? Choi? Cho? Jin?). That's when it all started clicking. Gu Won's current name had ties to Catholicism/Christianity, so his past name must've been the same. Out of all the last names mentioned in this, only one was associated with religion--Ju. You see, there's a wordplay in Gu Won's past name, Ju Yi Sun. In Korean, "Ju" means "Lord," but it can also mean "wine" and "week" (hint hint… the show's got themes of Catholicism/Christianity and time, haha). The second syllable of his name, "Sun", sounds like "son". When you piece it all together, you'll realize Gu Won's past name means "Lord's son" aka Jesus. I've now realized the clues proving he is a "Ju" have been there since the very start, but I just didn't connect the dots until now haha. Additional clues are available on my Twitter for those interested!

I doubt we'll witness Gu Won pulling off miracles like walking on water, but he has showcased some Jesus-like feats. Remember Ep 1, where he performed the fish miracle for Park Bok Gyu? That's similar to what Jesus did (miracle #6, to be exact), haha. Then in Ep 3, he healed the sick, echoing another one of Jesus's miracles. And in Ep 10, Jesus—I mean Gu Won—brought Do Hee back from the dead, a blend of miracles #11, 15, and 33. Who knows, maybe we'll get to see another Jesus-like miracle before this show wraps up? Perhaps calming a storm at sea or casting demons into a herd of pigs, haha.

Throughout the series, Gu Won has been frequently seen with wine, a symbol often linked to Jesus and representative of his blood. In Ep 9, Gu Won tells God he prefers wine because it's the tears of God. Interestingly, in the original myth, these tears were attributed to Jesus, not God. Jesus shed tears when witnessing Lucifer Morningstar's fall from Heaven. The writer's choice to attribute the tears to God may hint at their intention to portray Gu Won as a blend of Jesus and Lucifer Morningstar. It makes you wonder though if God shed tears after Gu Won died the first time around or when he started going "bad", doesn't it? Haha.

For those unfamiliar, Lucifer Morningstar earned the moniker of the Devil following his rebellion against God, leading to his descent from heaven into Hell. Before this rebellion, his name carried positive connotations such as light bringer, dawn bringer, and the morning star, associated with the planet Venus and the Goddess of Love. Examining Won's former name, Yi Sun, the word "Sun" stands out. Given the sun is a type of star, this connection holds significant meaning. Coupled with the dawn imagery in Ep 1 and Ep 10, the connection to Lucifer Morningstar becomes apparent. Gu Won's story started with him playing the roles of Jesus and Lucifer Morningstar. After his fall from Heaven, he transformed into the Devil. As Gu Won reunites with Do Hee, his journey comes full circle, bringing him back to his original identity as Yi Sun aka Jesus/Lucifer Morningstar.

If Gu Won is indeed a Ju, it would introduce some serious drama in the show. This means he'd be related to people responsible for the past deaths of Do Hee's parents and the current threats on her life. It's giving me Romeo and Juliet vibes haha. In Eps 11-12, I think Gu Won will discover he's a Ju. This discovery will affect him deeply, knowing he's related to those who've inflicted so much pain upon Do Hee both in the past and present. This revelation will weigh heavily on him, leading him to end his relationship with Do Hee due to overwhelming guilt.

Section 2.2 The Past...Flip It and Reverse It

Let's revisit the Joseon dynasty, a time when societal norms were so conservative and backward! My theory about Gu Won's past remains largely unchanged. I still believe the major obstacle to Gu Won and Do Hee's love story was the differences in their social classes and that Gu Won became a demon because of Do Hee. However, I'd like to add a few more details to this theory.

Before delving into the intricacies of Gu Won's past, it's essential to grasp a couple of key points. Firstly, the past is the reverse of the present. Secondly, within the show, the notion of "wealth" or "richness" takes on an unconventional meaning. While wealth is conventionally linked with material affluence --having substantial money (i.e dollar dollar bills)--here, being "wealthy" or "rich" can also mean having a soul, as souls are considered a form of currency. For example, in the present, Do Hee is rich in both the conventional and unconventional sense-- she has substantial monetary wealth and a soul. However, in the past, Do Hee was poor in the conventional sense (she was the Cinderella character in this context) but rich in the unconventional sense (i.e had a soul). Now, Gu Won in the present is rich in the conventional sense but poor in the unconventional sense (has no soul; he's the Cinderella type character in this sense). In contrast, in the past, Gu Won was rich both in terms of monetary wealth and spiritual wealth. I hope this wasn't too confusing for anyone!

Before Gu Won was a mean bankrupt vampire in the the present, he was a kind man who was well-loved by his servants in the past. Gu Won treated them with respect and as equals. This type of behavior would've been viewed by many of his social class as unusual and unconventional. In the hierarchical society of the time, where nobility often maintained a distinct separation from their servants, Gu Won's compassionate and egalitarian approach set him apart. His genuine care for those around him challenged societal norms, earning him both admiration and, inevitably, disapproval from those who clung to the traditional expectations of class distinction.

One such person who would've greatly disapproved of Gu Won's actions was his father. Judging from the flashbacks, it seemed Gu Won's father was a strict individual devoted to tradition, adherence to societal rules, and maintaining an image of wealth and power. In contrast, Gu Won disregarded these conventions, prioritizing modernity and challenging norms, a stark departure from his father's values. Therefore, Gu Won's father would've viewed Gu Won as a rebel and a devil similar to how Madam Ju viewed Seok Min. Unlike Seok Min, however, Gu Won was inherently a good person. Side note, I think it was funny that in the past, Gu Won was all about being modern, while in the present, he's all about tradition haha. How the times have changed!

Being a hedonistic individual, Gu Won would have been a frequent visitor to local kisaeng houses, and this is where I believe he initially encountered Do Hee and God. My bet is that God may have been employed as either the owner or a waitress here. As we know, God tends to hang around places with casino games, and kisaeng houses often had various gambling games.

In the past, Do Hee was the antithesis of her present self. Unlike the present Do Hee, who held no belief in God and perceived her life as modern warfare, the Do Hee of the past was deeply religious and traditional. Similar to Sonia in "Crime and Punishment", Do Hee worked as a kisaeng to support her family. Her family's financial status was probably in shambles due to her father's gambling problems and alcoholism. Despite his vices, I don't think Do Hee's father was abusive like Ga Yeong's father in the present. I think he was more like Sonia's father, where even though he was a gambler and drunkard, he never mistreated or abused Do Hee.

Much like Sonia, Do Hee was a devout Catholic. However, in contrast to Sonia, Do Hee couldn't openly practice her faith. This was because during the Joseon dynasty, the predominant religion was Confucianism. Those of the Confucius faith viewed the rise of Catholicism as a major threat to their current belief system. Therefore, many Catholics faced persecution during the Joseon dynasty.

Despite coming from two different worlds (rich vs poor), Gu Won and Do Hee connected because they were seen as oddballs and outcasts in their own social classes. Gu Won, a nobleman who treated his servants as equals found common ground with Do Hee, a religious prostitute. These two odd birds were equally matched in every respect (odd and even get it? 1+1=2), creating a connection that transcended societal norms--they were, essentially, each other's soulmates. Their only "crime" was being born in the wrong era. Their love wasn't destined to flourish during the Joseon Dynasty. Instead, it was meant to thrive in the more modern times, like the present. If only these two had a time machine to fast forward to the future. Oh right...they did have a time machine and it was called God haha.

In Ep 9, God said to Gu Won, "Some call me time". Gu Won and Do Hee had the favor of God and time on their side. While God couldn't fast-forward time in the conventional sense (i.e give them a time machine or snap her fingers to transport them to the future), she could fast-forward time in the sense that she could make one lover immortal, freezing them in time, while she reincarnated the other lover at the right time so they could meet.

Just as in the present, Gu Won and Do Hee in the past also had to deal with people who were trying to sabotage their relationship. Much like their present-day counterparts, Ga Yeong and Seok Hoon of the past were among those who sought to break up Gu Won and Do Hee for their own selfish gains. Just remember what Gu Won said in Ep 1, "Evil stems from human desires". It's the desires of these two that contributed to the tragic fates of Gu Won and Do Hee in the past.

In the past, Gu Won's father had likely chosen Ga Yeong as a bride for Gu Won instead of Do Hee. Unlike her life now, past Ga Yeong was from an affluent and influential family, making her an ideal match by Joseon's standards with her beauty, wealth, and power. What remained unchanged from the past to the present is that Ga Yeong still had a bad personality and was just as obsessed with Gu Won in the past as she was in the present.

As for Seok Hoon, being a Ju in the past, he likely still enjoyed wealth, but instead of being the humble and kind person we know him to be today (I still have my doubts btw), he was a greedy and power-hungry Ju.

If we go with my theory that Gu Won was a Ju, one might ask, what was the relationship between him and Seok Hoon in the past? I think they were brothers--Gu Won, the lazy older brother set to take over the Ju household, and Seok Hoon, the younger, ambitious brother. Seok Hoon was probably jealous of Gu Won because Gu Won seemingly had everything handed to him on a silver platter without much effort or desire (maybe they were like Cain and Abel?). Side note, I'm going to laugh if it turns out Seok Hoon killed Gu Won with a rock because that's what Cain did to Abel.

Another possibility is that Gu Won and Seok Hoon were brothers who found themselves in love with the same woman. Seok Hoon got butt hurt because Do Hee chose Gu Won over him so he decided to destroy them both. If he couldn't get love, he would seek power (hmmmm sounds similar to the present haha).

Gu Won and Do Hee were just trying to be in their own little love nest but societal norms and people's desires got in the way. Similar to the present, Ga Yeong and Seok Hoon teamed up to exploit the lovebirds' vulnerabilities. Ga Yeong coveted Gu Won's heart while Seok Hoon sought the position of heir to the Ju household. Gu Won's vulnerability was Do Hee, and Do Hee's Achilles' heel was her Catholic faith. Team Judas decided to use the lovebirds' secrets to fulfill their greatest desires. As we've seen in the show, revealing people's deepest secrets can be an effective means to achieve one's goals.

Seok Hoon found out Gu Won was in love with Do Hee and wanted to marry her which again was a no-no because noblemen couldn't marry those from lower social classes than them. And Ga Gyeong, she discovered Do Hee was a Catholic by paying someone off.

Seok Hoon and Ga Yeong probably informed Gu Won's father about Gu Won and Do Hee's secret relationship. Gu Won's father couldn't have Gu Won tarnished the family reputation by being involved with a Catholic kisaeng so he sought to eliminate Do Hee.

On the day they died, Gu Won and Do Hee were doing normal couple things like walking on the beach. However, their blissful day turned into a nightmare as they found themselves being chased by the men Gu Won's father had hired to kill Do Hee. They eventually ended up being cornered on a cliff. Subsequently, they fell into the ocean similar to the events of Ep 1. The only difference between the events of Ep 1 and the past was that Gu Won was a mortal man who didn't have the powers to save him and Do Hee.

After this death, Gu Won woke up in Hell. Why? Because he was rich and lazy. Remember what Do Hee said in Ep 1- the rich and those who don't believe in God go to Hell. You might wonder why being rich automatically lands you in Hell? It's because those who are rich usually acquire their monetary wealth through unethical and immoral means. In turn, their actions eat away at their soul until they have none. Therefore, those who don't have souls go to Hell. While Gu Won might not have been directly involved in shady dealings, he still lived off his family's wealth which may have been obtained through dishonest means. Additionally, Gu Won's slothful nature and lack of diligent work might have been another factor contributing to his descent into Hell. As for Gu Won's religious beliefs, I don't think he had one. However, maybe he did in the end because of Do Hee.

So, what about Do Hee then? Where did she end up? She probably found herself in Heaven because she was poor and believed in God. This created the same issue for the lovers in death as they had in life-- being in separate worlds. Just like in life, they weren't able to be together even in death. Do Hee ended up wishing she could be where Gu Won was, which in this case was Hell. Do Hee sacrifice her soul/Heaven for Hell.

Do Hee's sacrificial act probably deeply touched God and prompted her to offer the two lovers a once-in-a-lifetime job...become demons and earn your souls back. However, I think Gu Won wouldn't have wanted Do Hee to become a monster, so he negotiated with God that he would become a monster for the both of them. Meaning he would work as a demon to earn back both of their souls and spare Do Hee the life of working as a demon.

By doing so, Gu Won would be able to save them from Hell and live a happy life in a place between Heaven and Hell, which was Earth. However, it wouldn't be all rainbows and unicorns though. Without any soul money to bargain with, Gu Won had to give up the only bargaining chip he had--his human memories. With the last vestige of his humanity gone, God imbued him with powers so that he could work towards saving his and Do Hee's souls from Hell so that they could have a better and brighter tomorrow.

Alternatively, I can envision the events unfolding similarly to those in Episode 1 with minor differences. Gu Won regained consciousness in the waters, and instead of turning back to try and save Do Hee, he swam up and left her behind. Once ashore, he felt immense guilt about his actions and saw himself as a monster and a poison to the very woman he claimed to have loved. Like the previous theory, God appeared and offered him a deal that would allow him to redeem himself. Though I find this theory plausible, I believe the other one is more likely to occur.

Section 3: More On The Contract with God

Section 3.1 Soul Money

Now let's take a deeper dive into the specifics of Gu Won's once-in-a-lifetime job! I'll start this section off with an analogy. God is the owner of Jesus Corp. Bank where money is stored. When I say money, I'm not talking about dollar bills, I'm talking about souls or as I like to call it, "soul money".

Gu Won is working at Jesus Corp. Bank as a loan officer because he's spiritually bankrupt as in he has 0 Soul Wons (SW) in his soul bank account. As with any job, Gu Won gets paid except he doesn't get paid with earthly money, he earns soul money. To buy a soul, you have to have 1000 SW (1000 SW=1000 W). For every year that he works, he earns 10 SW or 10 won (I will go over how I came up with these calculations further down). This may seem like a lousy pay, but when it comes to reclaiming your soul, sacrifices must be made. It really is a small price to pay hahaha.

Anyways, if it costs 1000 won (1000 SW) for a soul, how many years does Gu Won have to work to earn 1000 won at a pay rate of 10 won per year? 100 years. You're probably thinking where are you getting these values from and how the math ain't mathing, but don't worry just keep reading!

Let's first start out with how I deduced a soul is worth 1000 won. I kept thinking about the bill God was holding which was 1000 won. 1000 is "cheon" which means Heaven in Korean. It dawned on me that souls have the same value as Heaven, meaning souls = 1000 won and Heaven = 1000 won. You have to have a soul to go to Heaven and those who end up in Hell have no soul.

After this, I started to investigate the clocks. I discovered the clocks in Gu Won's place and on the promotional posters were decimal clocks, commonly used by those in accounting for payroll and hourly billing. If you're curious about what these clocks are, just Google it. I'm not going to spend more time writing than I have to

Ok so now you're wondering how I came up with 10 won/year. Let's consider how Gu Won's 10th name would be Sip Won or 10 Won. Then consider how there are a total of 10 hours on the clocks in Gu Won's place which are representative of 10 years. Put those things together! Each "hour" on the clock is 1 year and each time the hour hand moves from 1 hour to the next, it's 10 won. Therefore, it's 10 won/year.

To help you understand this, I have created a figure below that includes the decimal clocks seen in Gu Won's place (orange), the promotional poster (green), and a 12-hour clock (red). It should be noted that both the orange clock and green clock have a total of 10 hours, it's just that they start at different numbers. The clocks (orange) seen in Gu Won's place are a countdown until the people go to Hell while Gu Won's clock (green) is a countdown until he gets his soul and Heaven.

Now, let's revisit the deal Gu Won offers people. The term is that you get 10 years of Heaven for selling your soul (keep in mind you don't get all of Heaven, you only get 10 years of Heaven). Mathematically calculate how much 10 years of Heaven is worth to see if it's really an equal exchange. Multiply the rate (10 won/year) by the number of years which is 10 years and you would get what? 100 won. That's how much 10 years of Heaven is worth...100 won. You might be thinking now that it wasn't an equal exchange at all, right? Depends on how you look at it! One way to look at it is that you just got cheated because you sold your soul valued at 1000 won for only 100 won of Heaven.

On the other hand, one could view it as a fair exchange because these people (except for the mother and daughter) were trying to cheat the system. Meaning they didn't want to work hard to acquire their Heaven, they would rather acquire it through dishonest means (i.e signing the contract). In the end, the cheater got cheated so it's fair haha!

The thing is every time one engaged in shady crap, it eats at your soul until you're spiritually bankrupt. In this context, you've already sold your soul to the devil. You didn't need to sign a contract with the Devil to go to Hell, you would've ended up there sooner or later because you had engaged in deceitful acts to acquire your greatest desires. One could then see Gu Won was doing the world a huge favor by signing contracts with these cheaters because he removed these bad eggs from the living world more quickly!

Some might wonder, can you be a rich person while living and not end up in Hell after? Yes, you can. How? By acquiring your wealth through honest means, following the rules, and engaging in acts of charity. In this way, you would not only be materialistically rich but spiritually rich as well.

The moral lesson in MD is to live a righteous life and work hard for the things you want in life. If you decide to engage in dishonest behavior (i.e cheating), just know you may not have to pay for it while you're living, but you'll eventually have to pay for it in the afterlife.

Section 3.2 Why Did Gu Won Have to Work for 200 Years?

Now let's consider what would happen if say were in Hell like Gu Won was, but wanted Heaven? What can you do if you are spiritually bankrupt? You got to WORK BITCHHHH to earn back your soul. Shit.... that's hard for a sloth who had never worked a day in their life...cough...cough Gu Won.

Why did Gu Won have to work for 200 years? It's because he not only had to buy back his soul but he also had to buy back Do Hee's soul too. Let's do some math....if a soul costs 1000 won and you make 10 won/year, how many years would you have to work? 100 years (10x=1000; x = 100). Again, because he had to get Do Hee's soul out of Hell, he had to work an extra 100 years.

I believe in the first 100 years on the job, Gu Won earned back Do Hee's soul which freed it from Hell. In turn, this allowed her to become reincarnated while Gu Won was still stuck working towards getting his soul back.

Now, you might be wondering if Gu Won obtained more deals, wouldn't he earn back his soul faster? Nope. It doesn't matter how many contracts he signed, he still got paid the same amount every year. What mattered was that he worked period. And this is why Gu Won didn't know how many contracts he had to sign to prevent spontaneous combustion haha. He didn't get that all he had to do was work. To earn back your soul, you have to be diligent, not take any shortcuts, and follow the rules. As a worker at Jesus Corp bank, if you're lazy for one second, you spontaneously combust haha. If you cheat and break rules, same thing haha.

One might think Gu Won would be able to get out of his job as a demon if he became human right? Not quite. I was wrong in my previous theory when I said after he became human, he would no longer face the threat of spontaneous combustion. He still faced the threat because he did not fulfill his end of the contract with God. Gu Won agreed to work as a demon for 200 years in exchange for his and Do Hee's souls. The keywords are "demon" and "200 years".

The moment he became fully human, it was like he breached his contract with God. Hence this was why he still faced the threat of spontaneous combustion even after he became a human. He was close to hitting 200 years exactly but you know some things got in the way haha. God was basically dangling a bone (i.e Do Hee) in front of Gu Won to motivate him to become a guardian demon faster. Oh and the last piece of his soul is in Do Hee!

So how much longer does Gu Won have to work for God? ~1.2 years. If you look at the clock at the beginning of Ep 9, you'll see the hour hand is pointing at ~8.80 which equates to ~1.2 years left haha. This is why later in the ep, the writer hints at this by having Gu Won say to Do Hee, "Otherwise, I might have to wait another year." So yeah, if you don't work, you die and if you break the contract, you die hahaha. I think Gu Won will continue to work for God even after his contract with her ends.

It was funny Gu Won was trying to blame God for everything. I was like boy you're the one that signed the damn contract haha. You made that decision and now you have to face the consequences of your actions haha. End of the day, God was just trying to help these two lovebirds out and to get Gu Won to grow the fuck up and know the true meaning of hard work haha. Oh, and she was also trying to get him to forgive himself for what happened in the past.

Something Punny

Let's take a quick break with something funny before we head into the next section! So what do you get when you cross a line? Read that really slowly and think about it for a minute.....YOU GET A CROSS HAHAHAHAHAHA. This writer though hahahahahaha. On a serious note, it's because Gu Won and Ga Yeong crossed the line that things have been going in a more positive direction.

Section 4: The Mechanics of The Tattoo Transfer

Before going into how everyone's choices influenced Gu Won and Do Hee's fate, let's first explore the mechanics of the tattoo transfer. I have to say, I'll never trust anything Park Bok Gyu says ever again haha. Because I believed in his little hypothesis, my theory was completely wrong haha.

The essential conditions for the tattoo transfer are as follows: 1) A full moon must be present, 2) Gu Won and Do Hee must face a life-and-death situation, 3) The person without the tattoo must genuinely desire to save the person with the tattoo, and 4) The person with the tattoo must be near death or on the brink of it. The location and timing of the ritual are inconsequential. As long as the specified conditions are met, the transfer can take place!

Section 5: Fate is a Web Woven By a Myriad of Choices

Section 5.1 Free Will Vs. Fate

Ok now let's talk about the great debate...Free Will vs Fate. Did anyone catch the writer's stance on this debate? It was conveyed in Ep 1 and Ep 10! The writer believes these two concepts can coexist with one another. This belief is known as "compatibilism"!

What is compatibilism? It's the belief that while external forces, such as God, upbringing, society, and environment, may play a role in shaping our fate, the ultimate responsibility for our decisions lies with us as individuals. All actions, whether deemed as good or evil, are fundamentally driven by the choices we make. These choices, in turn, are influenced by our internal desires, which can be shaped by external forces. In this perspective, we are active agents, empowered to play a significant role in shaping our own fates through the conscious decisions we make.

God can influence our choices, but the crux of the matter remains we are free to choose whether or not to align our choices with divine guidance. As my bf noted, "Those who don't obey God or adhere to their plans tend to find things don't work out for them. This underscores the idea that aligning our choices with divine guidance can lead to a more favorable fate.

In the show, Do Hee's decision to save Gu Won and vice versa, who had the cross tattoo, can be seen as a complex interplay between free will, determinism, and compatibilism. Her desire to save him reflects an exercise of personal agency, emphasizing the role of free will in her choice. Simultaneously, the symbolism of the cross introduces a deterministic element, suggesting an alignment with a divine plan. This dynamic highlights the compatibility between personal choice (free will) and external influences (determinism/fate), echoing the principles of compatibilism.

Simply put, God can present you with a plan, and you can choose to follow that plan or not. It's your decision. If you choose to follow the plan and things don't work out then don't go around blaming God because you're the one who made the decision, you're the one who's responsible. Nevertheless, the underlying belief is that adhering to God's plan can lead to favorable outcomes.

The ending scenes of Episode 10 exemplify the convergence of everyone choices influencing the fate of Gu Won and Do Hee. Let's start with the puppet master – God. If God hadn't conveyed to Gu Won that Do Hee needed to die to regain his power, what would have happened? Gu Won and Do Hee's plan would likely have failed, leading to Gu Won's demise. However, God disclosed this crucial piece of information to set in motion a chain of events that ultimately resulted in a positive outcome. I aslo see this as one of God's tests to determine if Gu Won was ready to have the training wheels taken off haha.

Gu Won had the option not to disclose to Park Bok Gyu what God had communicated, but he opted otherwise. As a result, Gu Won's actions led to Park Bok Gyu expressing his concerns about the necessity of Do Hee's death, which Ga Yeong overheard. This, in turn, led to Ga Yeong providing poison to Do Hee, a necessary step in fulfilling God's plan for Gu Won to regain his powers.

You see, God does know everything despite her saying otherwise (in this show, God does lie haha). She knows all the possible outcomes there are and intervenes strategically to ensure things align with her desires. Thank God, she's Team Dowon haha!

Section 5.2 Team Judas

I believe Ga Yeong's decision to disclose Gu Won's secret to Seok Min will have broader consequences than she anticipated. In the preview for Ep 11, we see Seok Hoon joining forces with Seok Min, with the motive behind Seok Hoon's decision left unrevealed. I can only speculate and say that Seok Hoon perceives joining forces with Seok Min as the lesser of two evils. Thanks to Ga Yeong, Seok Hoon views Gu Won as the embodiment of evil that needs to be exposed and crucified, and the only person with the necessary "power" for such an undertaking is Seok Min. My question is, is Seok Hoon ready to sell his soul to the Devil? In all honesty, Seok Hoon is just doing this because he wants Do Hee to be with him and not Gu Won.

I guess Seok Hoon and Seok Min will devise a plan to expose Gu Won as a demon/devil. I have no clue how exactly they're supposed to do that given when someone tries to film Gu Won doing magic, the camera cuts out. The only other way I could see them able to accomplish this goal is by hiring someone to stab Gu Won in public so people can see Gu Won can instantly heal. Or if they want to do it "The Bodyguard" style, they would hire someone to shoot Do Hee, and then Gu Won would jump in front to protect her which again would expose him as a supernatural being since he would instantly heal. In either case, People would then see Gu Won as a monster. They would try to hunt him down like the Beast from Beauty and the Beast and crucify him like Jesus. Then again this plan might fail because Gu Won being a human now might not be able to instantly heal anymore.

Another theory is that Seok Hoon is teaming up with Seok Min to take him down. Maybe Seok Hoon realized after the incident at the gas station that Seok Min was behind everything. Seok Hoon will go undercover to dig up evidence of Seok Min's crimes. This could be his redemption arc maybe. Again, I still have my doubts that Seok Hoon is actually a good guy, but I could definitely be wrong!

Section 5.3 Do Gyeong

I might be in the minority, but I genuinely hope Do Gyeong survived the car crash so that he can testify against his father. While I understand Do Gyeong crashed his car into the gas station because he saw death as the only way to escape his father's abuse, it was still wrong. I also think he did this as a way to get revenge on his father. By crashing his car into the gas station, the police would start investigating his father. In turn, this could lead them to discover Seok Min as the real culprit behind everything. Additionally, I think Do Gyeong was the one who stuck a knife into Kwang Chul's chest after he was burnt like a crispy duck. Do Gyeong probably did this for the same reason as I mentioned above...to lead cops and Gu Won to his father.

Section 6: Madam Ju, Murder of Do Hee's Parents, and Seok Min

I don't know if anyone has noticed, but Madam Ju wasn't in Eps 9-10. This was odd given that in previous eps, she would always make some sort of appearance. I posed a question in my previous posts asking if Madam Ju was a figment of Do Hee's imagination or a real spirit/ghost. I've concluded Madam Ju is not just a figment of Do Hee's imagination. I think she's a real spirit/ghost.

Going back to Ep 1, Do Hee wished on her 28th (8+2=10 haha) birthday that Madam Ju would be around for a very long time to continue stabbing her in the back. God granted Do Hee's wish. God probably allowed Madam Ju to come back and talk to Do Hee as a spirit to help her heal. However, I think God restricts what Madam Ju can tell Do Hee. I feel like we'll see Madam Ju again after Do Hee discovers her dark secret.

In regards to the deaths of Do Hee's parents, I don't think Madam Ju killed them. I think it may have been an accident, but Madam Ju still blamed herself for it. Maybe what happened was that Madam Ju committed a crime out of greed like cutting costs on the production of electronic products or sabotaging a product to get insurance money and Do Hee's father found out about it. Subsequently, he went to investigate it/fix it and that's when the explosion happened.

Interestingly in Ep 10, we saw Seok Min with a tape recorder on the day Do Hee arrived at the Ju household. Could it be that Seok Min recorded his mother confessing her dirty secret and guilt for the deaths of Do Hee's parents? This might explain why Seok Min said, "So it's you, mother's way out." Maybe Seok Min was planning on using the recording to later blackmail her so he could get the chairman position.

Another theory I have is that Do Hee's father had discovered what Madam Ju was trying to cover up and then Seok Min found out about it. Seok Min then took the initiative to cover up his mother's dirty secret by getting rid of the only person who knew about it by planting a bomb in their car. Seok Min probably did all of this because he thought it would "win" his mother's love and approval and that she wouldn't see him as a devil anymore. Additionally, he thought in his own twisted way that by doing this, he was protecting his mother. Maybe Seok Min's real desire was that he just wanted Madam Ju to love him.

When Seok Min discovered Madam Ju's Chief Financial Officer had uncovered her secret and contacted Do Hee about it, Seok Min once again, turned to murder to "protect" his mother. Instead of receiving gratitude for his actions, Madam Ju scolded him for them. This was the final straw that broke the camel's back. If Seok Min couldn't have love, he would seek power, even if it meant killing Madam Ju. This act is what essentially transformed him into the real devil demon.

I just had an interesting thought. Seok Min killed the very thing he loved to obtain power, mirroring what God implied Gu Won should do with Do Hee to regain his powers (anyone getting Thanos and Soul Stone vibes haha). Perhaps this is the real difference between Seok Min and Gu Won. Gu Won wasn't willing to sacrifice the one he loved for power. Instead, he was willing to sacrifice himself to save the one he loved, which transformed him into a guardian demon. Gu Won's prioritization of Do Hee's needs over his own enabled him to obtain real power.

Section 7: Guardian Demon

Do Hee was right when she said Gu Won would be reborn as a perfect demon hahaha.....guardian demon that is! He probably follow a path similar to Lucifer Morningstar from the show "Lucifer," transforming into a figure with a psychologist-like role, assisting others in finding redemption and embracing goodness haha.

Section 7. 1 God Placed People From All Walks of Life In Gu Won's Path to Help Him Become His Best Self

Every person God strategically placed in Gu Won's path served a unique purpose, guiding him toward personal growth and offering them a chance at salvation. Take, for instance, the Wild Dogs. God orchestrated their encounter to provide Gu Won with an opportunity to rehabilitate them, transforming them into a force for good rather than evil. Similarly, the girl and her mother were placed in Gu Won's path so that he could learn guilt and compassion. Additionally, they were placed in his path so he could use his guardian demon powers to heal the girl without damning her mother to Hell!

In the case of Ga Yeong and Seok Min, I think God placed them in Gu Won's path so he can learn to forgive those who basically killed him in the past. Forgiving those whose choices once led to one's death is a challenge, but it's a necessary step in Gu Won's journey toward becoming a guardian demon.

Simultaneously, God granted Ga Yeong and Seok Min a second chance at redemption for their past actions. Witnessing Gu Won and Do Hee's genuine love for each other might be the very thing that contributes to the healing of their dark hearts, leading them to realize that deceit and manipulation should not be employed to obtain love. Quite frankly, they both need to learn to let go and move on haha.

As for Park Bok Gyu, God strategically placed him in Gu Won's life to be a positive influence, reminding Gu Won of his humanity and encouraging him to embrace his role as a guardian demon. In return, God restored Park Bok Gyu's past memories, preventing him from inadvertently signing another contract and facing a second stint in Hell. It's a fair exchange, highlighting God's generous repayment for those who serve her purpose. Random thought, is Secretary Shin like a real angel or something? Because "shin" in Korean does mean "god" haha.

Last but certainly not least, Do Hee. God placed her in Gu Won's path to assist him in confronting his inner demons, particularly the guilt he harbors for failing to protect her in their past lives. Forgiving oneself is one of the most challenging feats, and Do Hee is poised to help Gu Won realize that the tragic events of the past were not his fault. This, perhaps, stands as one of the final steps before Gu Won can fully embrace his role as a guardian demon.

God also put Do Hee on Gu Won's path so he can help Do Hee in her journey of self-forgiveness. Do Hee carried the burden of guilt for the deaths of her parents and Madam Ju, and God intended for Gu Won to be a guiding light in helping her forgive herself. Moreover, God orchestrated their meeting to help Do Hee overcome her lingering fears, including her aversion to water (in Ep 9 she didn't want to get on the ferry haha). I think her fear of water stemmed from the traumatic events of their past lives, where she and Gu Won met their demise in the ocean.

Section 7.2 No More Following The Rules in The Demon Book

In my last post, I predicted Gu Won would break one of the rules in the demon book to protect Do Hee and that's exactly what happened in Ep 10! Can you guess which rule he broke? It was the rule that stated, "You can't bring back the dead". With the training wheels off, Gu Won could now bring back the dead and that's how Do Hee was alive again and fully healed. You're probably like wait why didn't Gu Won spontaneously combust? Because he became a guardian demon!

You see, the rules in the demon book only applied to devil demons, not guardian demons. What does this mean? It means Gu Won could now do all the things the rule book said devil demons couldn't do (review my previous post for the rules). According to Kwang Chul, humans were greater than the devil or God because they could be anything. Be it the devil, god, or something much greater. In Gu Won's case, he became something much greater. He became a mutant.... a mortal human with demon powers just like I previously said.

Here comes that quote again, "With great powers come great responsibilities." God couldn't make Gu Won a guardian demon right off the bat. He had to go through a bunch of trials and tribulations beforehand so he could learn to use those powers responsibly. I mean, can you imagine if God gave Gu Won those God-like powers with no rules back when he was a spoiled lazy rich boy during Joseon? The world would be destroyed as we know it!

However, it's not over yet people! Remember Gu Won still has 1.2 years left of work in his contract with God! If he doesn't finish up that contract, he can still spontaneously combust regardless if he's a guardian demon or not! Also, Gu Won can kill now which is scary! If I were Seok Min, I would be shaking in my boots right now. Madam Ju did say Seok Min would have to pay for his sins sooner or later!

In the end, Gu Won won't be a man who couldn't have his cake and eat it too. He'll become a man who can have his cake and eat it too! He just has to learn to be a good hard-working boy like Pinocchio haha. If you work hard and live a righteous life, God rewards you with all of your heart's desires (The atheist in me wants to vomit... sorry haha).

Section 8: Who Leaked Information About Gu Won and Do Hee's Whereabouts?

Everyone is thinking it's Secretary Shin who leaked the info about Gu Won and Do Hee's location. However, I think it was Do Gyeong. Seok Min probably had Kwang Chul place a tracker on Do Hee's car and when Do Gyeong hacked Seok Min's phone, he was able to obtain the tracking data. As for Team Judas, maybe Seok Hoon had placed a tracker in Do Hee's purse or put himself as a contact in her "Find My" app!

Section 9: Symbolism

Section 9.1 The Necklaces

In my first MD post, I highlighted the presence of both a silver and a gold necklace worn by Gu Won and Do Hee, and I've now unraveled the significance behind them: Gold symbolizes the Sun and Heaven, while Silver represents the Moon and Hell. Let's delve into Gu Won's necklaces first.

As mentioned previously, the silver cross necklace was speculated to either have belonged to Do Hee or been a gift from her to Gu Won. Notably, Gu Won's gold necklace doesn't feature a cross (unlike Do Hee's necklaces, which bear lover's knots). Why is this? Simply put, Gu Won didn't embrace faith in God and wasn't a Catholic. Gu Won wearing the silver necklace with the cross serves as a testament to Do Hee's steadfast faith, which played a pivotal role in saving them from eternal damnation in Hell. At the same time, when I think of silver, I think of Judas who betrayed Jesus for 30 silver coins, werewolves, and vampires haha.

The choice of material may also offer insights into Gu Won and Do Hee's past. Gold, being an expensive material, was a luxury afforded only by the wealthy, such as noblemen. In contrast, silver, being more affordable, aligns with the humbler status of individuals like kisaengs. Silver exudes humility akin to Do Hee, while gold mirrors the extravagant and ostentatious nature of Gu Won haha.

Now, turning to Do Hee's necklaces – they symbolize the enduring connection between her and Gu Won, transcending realms of Hell and Heaven forever and to infinity! Their love acts as a powerful force, enabling them to overcome any barriers to be reunited.

Section 9.2 Flowers

Section 9.2a Devil's Trumpets

Remember Devil's Trumpets from "The Glory" haha? Its scientific name is Datura stramonium, also known as devil's snare (any Harry Potter fans here? haha). This plant belongs to the nightshade family, a group where many members are poisonous (potatoes, eggplants, tomatoes, etc are part of this family, but they're not toxic). While Devil's Trumpets can be highly toxic, they can also possess medicinal properties and have been used to treat various illnesses. Occult practitioners sometimes consume this flower for visionary experiences.

In the story of Romeo and Juliet, the poison the star-crossed lovers consumed was from a member of the nightshade family called "Belladonna." Considering this, Ga Yeong's poison to Do Hee could have been either Devil's Trumpets or Belladonna. Additionally, the Devil's Trumpet might symbolize Gu Won, suggesting that despite the toxicity of his family (the Ju family), he is a benevolent person capable of healing rather than harming. He's an eggplant haha!

Section 9.2b Poppy

What do poppies symbolize? Death, dreams, and remembrance. It's fitting given in the Ep 11 preview, Gu Won will have a dream of his past life and remember shit. Who knows maybe we will finally get to see how he died? The poppy in his ear could also be a foreshadow that he will die again verrryyyy soon haha.

Section 9.3 Snakes

Christianity seems to have a knack for twisting once-positive symbols into something negative! Before snakes became synonymous with evil, the Devil, and Satan, they were revered as good spirits in Greek and Korean mythology

In Ancient Greece, snakes were often linked to Agathodaimon, a lesser deity meaning "good/noble spirit" (this is what Gu Won is; I bet the writer will mention this term haha). Agathodaemons were household gods and protectors of those who worshipped them. Representations of Agathodaimon featured snakes with a poppy flower (similar to Gu Won's in the EP 11 preview) and an ear of grain, symbolizing prosperity and fertility respectively. This deity was also portrayed as a man holding a cornucopia, akin to Thanksgiving traditions. Ancient Greeks would honor Agathodaimon with a few drops of wine after a meal.

In Greek myths, Agathodaimon was believed to be the spouse of Tyche (probably Do Hee), the goddess of fate and fortune (also known as Lady Fortuna or Lady Luck). In Egypt, Agathodaimon was associated with Osiris, the Lord of the Underworld, and Shai, the god of fate. Basically, you would want Agathodaimon because he would bring you good luck, wealth, and protection.

In Korean mythology, snakes were also viewed as creatures of good luck. For example, in Korean myths, the Imoogi was one big fat snake that brought good luck and fertility to crops. However, it was believed if you ever prevented an Imoogi from ascending to the Heavens, bad shit would happen like plagues, typhoons, infertile land, and famine. The overall message is don't kill snakes because bad shit will happen. I'm suddenly getting a bad feeling Gu Won is going to get killed and a natural disaster will occur haha. For those wanting to learn more about Imoogis, you can click on the link below or Google it.

So y'all are probably wondering why the hell i'm telling you all of this? It's because in Ep 10, Gu Won rolled what is known as "snake eyes". The reason this roll is called "snake eyes" is because the 1's resemble the two pips to the eyes of a snake. In craps, this roll can either mean you're really lucky or unlucky, representing an odd phenomenon. For example, when you roll snake eyes on the initial roll, you have to roll it again on the next roll to win the round. However, the probability of rolling "snake eyes" is very low (2.78%).

Another thing to mention is how 2 odd numbers can equal an even number where 1+1=2. You could also view Gu Won's roll as a good omen because it's 1...1....11 which is considered a lucky number! Our little lovers are snakes who are bringers of luck and fertility haha.

FYI, one of God's rolls was a "push" or "standoff" roll which are two 6's. Like snake eyes, this roll has the same low probability of 2.78%. The funny thing about Gu Won's roll and God's roll is that Gu Won's roll is the lowest value you can get which is 2 and God's roll is the highest value you can get which is 12.

Section 10: OTHER RANDOM THOUGHTS

I have none. I'm brain-dead from researching, thinking of stuff, and editing this monster of a post. K byeeee

#my demon #there are probably grammatical mistakes #song kang #kim yoojung #do dohee #jeong gu won #gu won #devil #ga Yeong #do hee #why did i write so much #my brain hurts now #kim you jung #long post #long reads #i hate plagiarists #daemon #seok hoon #the writer of this show is so religious hahaha

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