#but as a pattern it murdered me

[pleucas]

whose heartbeat is it, then? mine?

#pleuart #pleucas #bsd #bungo stray dogs #chuuya #chuuya nakahara #goodness this quote murders me #THAT'S ABSURD... (crying) IM NOT EVEN HUMAN.... (gurgling) SOMETHING AS SOPHISTICATED AS A HEART WOUL (death) dn't suit e g me jaa;;; jj #back on my flowy line and pattern carrying bs im sorry

[pwhale6]

a little bit of alana redraws feat. her beloved wife margot (2021)

#hannibal nbc #hannibal #alana bloom #margot verger #murder wives #marlana #fanart #portrait #my art #that houdstooth pattern makes me sick af #like i actually cant stand it but i love s3 alana too much #so i had to make sacrifices

[fandommadnessthings]

The Sun, the Moon

The Sun..... The Moon....

The Sun! The Moon!

The SUN!! The MOON!!

THE SUN AND THE FUCKING MOON!!!!!

#finally i have them all #doom siblings! #i repeat! doom celestial siblings! #the murder of me #tmom #sonic the murder of me #fm'stmomcontent #mlp #poppy playtime #dogday #catnap #nightmare sans #dream sans #sundrop #moondrop #HMMMMMM...... im seeing a pattern!

[peachesbecraftin]

No body no CRIME

Pattern by Cross-stitch Vienna

Also used glow in the dark dmc thread for the bones. Turned out so cool!

#crafts #peachesbecraftin #needlework #stitching #xstitch #cross stitch #embroidery #pattern #diy #handmade #no body no crime #talk murder to me #crime #glow in the dark

[maranescence]

When you try to kill a big scary bug but it starts fucking flying

#murder drones #glitch productions #serial designation n #funny #memes #shitpost #murder drones ep 7 #murder drones n #based on a true story #pov: you live in the south during spring #my sleep pattern is just ⬅️⬆️↕️⤴️↩️⬆️↕️⬇️⬅️↖️↔️ #the night doesn’t last long enough for me

[the-judicial-assistants-notebook]

Slow goose that I am, I just connected that it was Lana at the other end of the line:

#something something nothing is sacred. the woman you once loved was murdered and you have to cover for the man who killed her #the lanamias probably already connected this but im SLOW okay. im SLOW & that means im constantly struck by wonders & marvels & ur jealous #ooh ur so jealous of me #lana skye #redd white #it's retroactive and you can tell because white calls the chief 'man' at one point and the speech patterns dont line up with lana's #but technically in canon that's her

[amethystroselily]

My favorite thing about Chuuya and Dazai’s dynamic is that they keep trying to peer pressure each other into murder (and other serious crimes), which is kind of exactly what you’d expect out of two bored teenagers who were given too much power in a criminal organization.

#slowly reading 15 and like 3 other bsd light novels at the same time #I don’t have any hard proof that this is a pattern yet #but it certainly feels like it was #Chuuya keeps calling Dazai a pussy for not fighting people (which in chuuya’s case almost always means murder) #and the way Chuuya reacted when Dazai implied that they should kill q in the manga makes me feel like he was definitely suggesting a lot of #murder in their youths #bsd fifteen #soukoku #skk #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #bsd #bsd light novel

[crizztelcb]

So maybe I have gotten into the show murder drones, and guess which character is my favorite.

Of course is the goofy sweet boy that has the power to kill anything

#like N and chat noir like im seeing a pattern on my likes especially when i look at uzi too and how much she reminds me of shadybug which #i also absolutely adore #murder drones #crizztel rambling #n murder drones

[theotherrichardpapen]

letter to his father - franz kafka // origin story, sink - desiree dallagiacomo // the autobiography of my mother - jamaica kincaid // caged: memoirs of a cage-fighting poet - cameron conaway

#you know you're in trouble when the painting of saturn devouring his son by francisco de goya almost makes it on here 🤡 #like minds #murderous intent #like minds 2006 #alex forbes #sad to admit i have been neglecting my (other) boy in my content lately #most of the time alex only really features in posts that are about him and nigel together #and if every there was a subject i'd be making a post about for alex it would ofc be about him and his daddy issues #i think it's because strangely enough nigel is easier to get a handle on in terms of character introspection #but that's probably down to the fact that regardless of whether you believe the narrative alex gives about who nigel was #we at least DO get a more solidly constructed idea of his character (yes even if it is the version of him put forth by alex #designed to paint himself as the victim) #alex on the other hand? gohd damn walking rorschach pattern ink blot test of a character #like *holding him up by the scruff of his neck* what does this character look like #you could have interpretations for this guy out the wazoo and it'll probably be wildly different from the person standing next to you #but one think i can say with certainty is this guy has a complicated relationship with his father #i don't think he hates him. but i do think there's a lot of resentment there too #that quote from ladybird where she asks her mother if she likes her and the mother says of course she loves her #and ladybird asks but do you like me? and the mother just responds that she wants whats best for her #to which ladybird says what if this is the best version of me #or something #that's them #to me at least #i suppose that's why alex was as drawn to nigel as he was #yes nigel was also spouting on about predetermined destinies foretold by fate and whatnot #but the fundamental difference is that nigel leaves all the power to achieve that in alex's hands #the only thing he ever really asks of him is for alex to embrace his inner most desires. no matter how dark or twisted they may be #alex's father is there telling him that a better version of himself exists if only alex could live up to expectations #nigel is there telling him that a better version of himself exists if only alex could forgo expectations of himself entirely #if that makes sense 🤡

[myrmica]

my reading of lifesteal season 4 is so personal and involved at this point that even if i was going to post more character analysis i would not know where to start. it would require footnotes to documents that don't exist. listen to luddites and lambs by everything everything and you'll get half of it though

#m #lifesteal #there is just such a compelling and clear thematic line between like. okay #first you need to just accept for me the idea that zam as a character is defined by being trapped running both towards and away from #the same object (mapicc) #and then you have to take mapicc as interchangeable with pain in general but specifically an inescapable normalcy of pain #which is caught up in something zam wants and knows he wants which is the “pure/natural” idyllic version of lifesteal #where every fight is fair competition #and what mapicc has done to hurt him more than the actual stalking and murder and all of that is that mapicc refused to fight him on even #ground (by literally invading and destroying his home so that everything becomes battlefield) in a way that offends his most deeply #held values. AND THEN he reads vitalasy's use of the exploits as trying to take that same thing he fundamentally values about lifesteal #away and he gets incredibly angry with vitalasy for hurting the server itself (pvp becomes functionally obsolete for a while there) #so he plays out the eclipse betrayal framing it in his own mind as another situation where he is the victim and vitalasy is the #manipulator/aggressor and falls back into the kind of jumpy paranoid behavior we as the viewer haven't actually seen from him in a very #long time now (late into eclipse when mapicc isn't an active threat anymore he really does stop jumping at shadows the way he used to) #and seems comforted by the familiarity of it if anything. because what vitalasy was asking of him that made him panic and reject it so #badly was to create a new pattern and step out onto unknown ground but he can't do it #and he retreats back to what he knows. so vitalasy isn't WRONG to read what zam does as victimizing himself #and forcing vitalasy into a villain role that is literally what he is doing #but vitalasy on the other end still has his own entire set of things he is not dealing with #and so the relationship created by these two people is doomed by their inability to look themselves in the eye more than any of the actual #facts of the relationship itself #and the thing zam wants lifesteal to be is not and has never been real. the thing vitalasy wants lifesteal to be is also antithetical to #its nature they are both wrong #but zam is wrong in that he wants to return to an idealized imagined past that does not actually exist #(see also vague historical allusions in his castle and his name and him trying after vi's death to cast off violence completely and return #to the land somehow. and the association created incidentally between stone tools and rudimentary technology) #and vitalasy is wrong in that he's trying to create something entirely new that nobody but him actually wants via the exploit #(see the way that once the exploit is 'out of the box' it can't be put back in and the course of the season is set in motion and any attemp #s to fight it and change that course are futile as allegorical to sudden technological advancement being met with violent opposition)

[bookgeekgrrl]

My media this week (5-11 Nov 2023)

📚 STUFF I READ 📚

😍 Till there were no more wolves in the West (dharmashark) - 71K, stucky, USAmer civil war/western setting - incredibly skillful job fitting canon events believably into this setting - absolutely loved it. Also adored the Logan cameo

😍 A Restless Truth (The Last Binding #2) (Freya Marske, author; Aysha Kala, narrator) - reread in prep for final book, having book 1 fresh in mind was great, lots of small details I had missed

🥰 A Power Unbound (The Last Binding #3) (Freya Marske, author; Josh Dylan, narrator) - Very satisfying conclusion to the series! Really loved seeing everyone together again and while I don't disagree with those that say it focused more on the plot than on Jack/Alan's relationship, this wasn't a negative for me. I wanted all the juicy goodness about systems of magic and magical houses. SO MUCH MAGIC HOUSE STUFF! (p sure there was a sideways little nod 'stately home of wiltshire'!)

😍 All Systems Red (The Murderbot Diaries #1) (Martha Wells, author; Kevin R Free, narrator) - Murderbot reread in prep for System Collapse

💖💖 +81K of shorter fic so shout out to these I really loved 💖💖

Unsolicited Cake (Stevieschrodinger) - Stranger Things: Steddie, 4K - short but cute af wrong number AU

Of Scars and of Wounds in the Heart (Dira Sudis (dsudis)) - Green Men Series (KJ Charles): Barney/Max, 3K - "Max is in a state, and Barney helps him through it." feat. some first rate tentacle sex

I Wanna Hurry Home To You (hawkeyedpeas (pandacowhipster)) - Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves: Edgin/Xenk, 16K - Ed & Xenk are basically married for a while before they realize it; really love how this author writes these characters

For Want of a Bookman (phoenixflight) - crossover of KJ Charles' Band Sinister & Society of Gentlemen series, 7K - delightful 'what if' of how the Ricardians and the Murder might meet & mingle

The Buried Treasure Racket (Dorinda) - The Sting: Henry/Johnny, 26K - amazing fic of the next con Henry & Johnny run

📺 STUFF I WATCHED 📺

Shakespeare & Hathaway - s1, e5

QI - series T, ep 9-11

Murdoch Mysteries - s16, e6

Dirty Laundry - s3, e5

D20: Burrow's End - "Reactor Charlie" (s20, e6)

D20: Adventuring Party - "The Burrito Was Achieved" (s15, e6)

We Are Lady Parts - s1, e1-6

🎧 PODCASTS 🎧

Re: Dracula - November 5: Three Graves to Find

Missing Pages - Paradigm Shift: Copyright & Fanfiction: Who Owns What?

Re: Dracula - November 6: That Moment of Final Dissolution

Re: Dracula - Epilogue: 7 Years Later

Today, Explained - Ceasefire?

Switched on Pop - The Beatles: "Now and Then" and Forever

🎶 MUSIC 🎶

Cum On Feel the Hitz: The Best of Slade [Slade] {2020}

Presenting Lady Gaga

Problem Patterns

The Linda Lindas

Meet Me @ the Altar

Presenting Spandau Ballet

The Look Of Love - The Very Best Of ABC [ABC] {2001}

A Life of Surprises: The Best of Prefab Sprout [Prefab Sprout] {1992}

Presenting Britney Spears

Presenting Christina Aguilera

Presenting Shakira

#sunday reading recap #bookgeekgrrl's reading habits #bookgeekgrrl's soundtracks #fanfic ftw #the last binding series #the murderbot diaries #we are lady parts #that show seriously changed my brain chemistry! #dimension 20 #d20: burrow's end #this ep of dirty laundry was particularly unhinged #qi #british comfort murders #slade #lady gaga #problem patterns #the linda lindas #meet me @ the altar #spandau ballet #abc #prefab sprout #britney spears #christina aguilera #shakira #re: dracula #switched on pop podcast #fan makers are a *gift*

[steakout-05]

eeuuaghh i would like everyone to know that i apologise if i have not responded to your reblogs/mentions/posts on tumblr, i have really terrible social anxiety and for some reason people talking to me makes my nervous system think i'm being hunted for sport by a resident evil boss. sorry if i havent responded i'm not being rude i'm just having a panic attack :P

additionally: social anxiety is actually the reason why a lot of my old posts from late 2022 had weird spacing and spelling mistakes. i was too anxious to type properly

#sorry this seems like a random thing to post but it has been bugging me for a little bit now and i want to post it #and by a little bit i mean the entire time i've been on this website #as for the reason i have social anxiety: i went to a really terrible high school full of dangerous people- #-who were literally like. the worst most bigoted people ever. not everyone there was bad of course but 90% of them were- #-and that stunted by social development by 5-6 years and now every time someone talks to me i feel like i'm about to get murdered #also primary school was. bad. the other kids could sniff out the autism in me and didn't like me for it #this post isn't directed towards anyone specifically but also it kinda is because there's a DM from someone- #-that i haven't responded to in literally 8 months and every time i think about it i get anxious #i'm sorry!!! i'm not trying to ignore you on purpose and i want to say something but my brain literally will not let me out of fear :( #i'm not used to getting talked to directly so every time i do my entire nervous system starts screaming and running in circles #it's kinda ridiculous because it's like. come on. why are you having a panic attack over a message on tumblr it's LITERALLY just words on- #-a screen what are you freaking out about. but also it's like hhhhh unfamiliar social situation scary. help. #unrelated to that but i am very worried about what people will think of me and like i know i really shouldn't worry about that- #-because i can't control what other people think of me and it really shouldn't be any of my or their business. but also- #-i have legitimate trauma that backs my fears up and every time someone is even slightly critical towards me my brain just goes- #-''see? it happened again i TOLD you it would happen again. idiot. you shouldn't have said anything'' #and then i hide and cry and lay in bed thinking about how i'm going to die until i suddenly snap out of it and think- #-''wait hang on why should i care. i love being a weirdo on the internet why should i let my anxieties stop me'' #and then it happens AGAIN and it's just a viscous cycle at that point #be silly on the internet -> detect slight criticism -> think everyone hates you again -> go back on your bullshit after 3 days of crying #and it makes sense because that exact same pattern happened to me countless times as a child. #be silly in school -> get made fun of for it -> get hated for it -> rinse and repeat until you think everyone is dangerous and they hate yo #if i could put it in a metaphor it would be like me being a little rabbit who thinks everyone is a scary wolf because of their big shadows- #-even though they're all also rabbits and i'm just paying attention to the scariest parts of them because i only know what wolves look like #trauma does fucked up things to your psyche lemmie tell you #social anxiety #anxiety disorder #i'm literally the ''too scared to order food'' stereotype except it's not a stereotype because it's real and every time i look at the 7/11- #-at my campus i go ''hm but what if they hate me for the food i buy there'' even though they're LITERALLY SELLING IT what is WRONG with me #anyway um. social anxiety sucks and i don't mean to not reply ro everyone who talks to me i am sorr y

[maukiki-but-cringefail]

Ugh. FUCK my stupid baka life.

[remembers Espio The Chameleon has a little heart on his torso]

nevermind…… life isnt so bad afterall……..

#i just think its cute #i think about it alot #pull up the time when the snapcube gang™ played murder of sonic the hedgehog and red said #he has a heart in his cheheheheheeeespio #its so funny to me for no reason they couldnt finish the sentnece and skipped right into the word espio #he is full of love……… #rogue also has a heart but its her clothes for espio its his scale pattern its embedded onto him #he is full of love………… #espio the chameleon #espio #sonic #sonic the hedgehog #sonic the hedgehog fandom #sonic fandom

[coffee-system-uwu]

When it snows, Andrew and Neil have all out snowball fights. The very intense kind that takes hours. Forts are made. Snowballs are stacked. Casualties are bound to happen.

Nicky tried to be nice and bring out hot cocoa for them, and ended up in the crossfire. All was lost.

Snowball fights usually end when dadmack comes and threatens them within an inch of their lives.

#andrew usually loses which is why snowball fights are annual #neil was raised by a bunch of murderers and was on the run #you really think hell lose to a twink? nah #idk how realistic this is bc i forget to check snowfall patterns where they live so let me have my dreams #shae #aftg #andrew minyard #neil josten #tfhc #all for the game #the foxhole court #all for the gay #andreil #andreil trash #david wymack #nicky hemmick

[fiendishartist2]

it's your conclusions that make mine delusions– tma

Jon's feet dangled underneath him, hanging limp. Papers fluttered to the floor, forgotten in the mad scramble between the two men. Jon's hands rested loosely around Tim's wrists, just above where his fists were twisted into Jon's collar. With his back against the wall, Jon was trapped completely under his co-worker's wrath. Tim stepped closer, crushing a lazily written report under his shoe.

"Is there a problem, Mr. Stoker?" Jon asked lightly. Tim's nose scrunched with disgust as Jon's smirk widened enough to bare teeth.

"Stop smiling," Tim snarled, "Stop fucking- what is wrong with you? Why are you here?" Although his grip on Tim's wrists remained deciptively gentle– hands poised so that fingertips just brushed skin– Jon's expression grew hungry. Entertainment flickered behind dark irises; Tim got the sense Jon was relishing in his desperation.

"I work here." Jon answered simply, unbothered despite the way Tim's knuckles dug into his throat. Tim barked out a mirthless laugh.

"Not the same way the rest of us do. Prove it- prove you're trapped by- by whatever is wrong with this place. Go ahead, Sims. Say it." He goaded, hoping Jon would rise to the bait. Jonathan Sims was perpetually level-headed, but Tim was at his wits end.

He wanted this puppeteer wearing a human face out of his life– out of all of their lives.

"Personally, I don't have any desire to leave. I'm quite happy with this job." Tim growled, rearing back and slamming Jon into the wall. The back of his head hit the damp drywall with a satisfying crack. Jon blinked rapidly, dazed.

Tim's blood pounded in his ears; he wanted to hurt this thing under his hands and he couldn't bring himself to care anymore. It was destroying his friends, creeping like a crawling rot into every nook and cranny of their minds. Slowly, it invaded– a sweet croon here, a sharp discouragement there; watchful eyes and cutting words hidden behind an open kindness that came from the confidence of security. It felt safe picking them apart sinew by bloody sinew.

Sasha was ruining herself and wouldn't listen to reason. She ran headfirst into any situation she thought would give her leads, not even bothering to tell anyone when she was in danger. She was working longer hours, talking to people in her office in secret, stashing tapes and statements in odd places he and Martin wouldn't look. Every new statement plucked from the mess Gertrude left behind sent her on a spiral, clawing for any connection to latch onto– and she latched onto Jon's words like a woman drowing. When Sasha ducked away from conversation with Tim and Martin, Jon was at her elbow, whispering in her ear. When she eyed Tim with distrust, he could feel Jon's gaze burning into the back of head. When she continued to pull away from anyone who could anchor her to reality, Jon was right there, pulling her along.

Jon's breathing was becoming laboured. Tim pressed more weight against his chest, egged on by the slight give of Jon's ribcage under his forearms.

"Kill me," Jon choked out. Tim lurched back a step, allowing Jon to take a deep breath that left him with a dry cough. His grin split his pockmarked cheeks, "Kill me, right now. Get it over with. That is what you want, isn't it?"

"You're sick," Tim spat. He pushed against Jon until he wheezed, "You're a sick little creep and I- I want you gone. Leave the Institute. Run into traffic. Anything, just- just get out." Jon's beaming smile wavered, eyes fluttering as consiousness was squeezed out of him, "If I ever see your face again-"

"Tim!"

Tim startled, dropping Jon's collar and letting him crumple to the floor. The anger drained out of him instantly, leaving a hollow in its wake.

He stared down at the man at his feet; Jon's narrow back was shaking.

Shaking with laughter.

Jon's boney shoulders jumped up and down, breathless snickering wracking his entire frame.

He peered up at Tim through spidery bangs. As if on strings, his lips were pulled into manic smile, eyes alight with joy. Hysterics were carved into every crease of his face.

"You can't. You will never be rid of me." He whispered, voice pitchy with wonder.

Someone pushed Tim aside; he stumbled out of the way without even turning to see which of Jon's victims it was. Red faced anger entered his sight, made fuzzy by the film of haze filling his brain.

Helplessness squeezed like a band around his chest; no one would believe him about Jon. Not Sasha, too paranoid to see the problem right in front of her. Not Martin, who would give and give and give to a monster who could only take. Not Elias, who had let Jon into the Archives in the first place.

"-at is your problem, Tim?! What could /Jon/ have done to-" A tinny voice buzzed beneath the rapid gallop of Tim's heart.

Jon was right– Tim couldn't do anything. Nothing would keep Jon from weaving his web around all of them; all he could do now was watch as the threads tightened and tightened until they each snapped under the tension.

Something bumped– shoved his shoulder. Salt and pepper hair left his vision and, instinctually, Tim's eyes traced the monster across the room.

From under Martin's arm, Jon pressed his face into his shoulder. Crocodile tears soaked into the soft, well-worn knit of Martin's favourite jumper. In stark clarity, Tim zeroed in on the hand that raised behind Martin's back.

Jon waved at him slowly and deliberately as he was led gingerly into the breakroom.

#hee hee #jon: 🕷️🕸️ #tim: i want this twink obliterated #whats a little bit of attempted murder between coworkers #i had a really shit day so i wrote this to make me feel better #i like the flow of it but im wondering if its too consise #i think my writing is like that in general tho. i can write longer fics but im not very flowery or verbose #i just like to write whats happening and what the characters are thinking and thats it #but anyways. web jon is a little freak for SURE #i gave him annabel's perpetual calmness bc i think thats a v good web trait #also hes a little bit hysterical but thats okay <3 thats just how jon is sometimes #i think that up until s3 web jon is an antagonist to some degree. hes not helping the archives hes just there to fuck with everyone lol #and tim is the only one to pick up on it like he does with canon jon. which starts him hating jon #but i do think we get like a not-sasha moment at the end of s2 but its sasha figuring out that jon is an avatar of the web- #-and isn't actually who he says he is. i think she would spot jon's manipulation patterns by reading statements- #-jon has hidden about the web #and eventually jon stops being malicious and starts actually helping them and making human connections and whatever #tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #timothy stoker #web!jon #archivist!sasha #martin blackwood #sasha james #tma fic #my fic #title from outliars and hyppocrates: a fun fact about apples

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

fuming over that person who was like “obviously arthur’s worst and most prominent character trait is cowardice” like yes ok he is a coward but also what about the STUBBORNNESS. what about the CONCERNING levels of obsession and fixation. this is “invents his own new arm” “manhunting his best friend across the state” arthur we’re talking about. if he isn’t going to laser focus on something until he runs himself into the ground he’s just not cc sorry

#the nemesis speaks #msa analysis #also i will point out most of the stuff arthur is afraid of is entirely reasonable. everything wants to maim and kill him #two separate inciting incidents hinge on arthur going 'hey let's not go in there' and vivi Not Listening #and then someone dies and/or they wake up a murder ghost #and don't even get me started on the mystery fear. you've all heard that one a million times already #gd i'm msaposting i need to go to bed #my point is he's not even that much of a coward he's just seen enough shit to know how this goes down #and would prefer Not To #it's basic pattern recognition at this point