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#but it's a reason to abandon me
furiousgoldfish · 5 months
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Speaking from a bad place, so bear with me. Has anyone thought about how being important or special to other people is based just on the people closest to you?
We regard strangers as people who are fairly irrelevant to us, because they have little to no impact to our life, and their lives and struggles won't generally touch us. In contrast, lives of people directly around us have a great impact on us, and they decide our relevancy. We give them roles in our lives, like friends, mentors, partners, lovers, caretakers, and in that regard they're special to us, irreplaceable. We also want to have an equally strong meaning in their life, to have a warm place in their heart and respect in their minds, as they do for us.
When people around us who hold great relevancy for us, also give us that same relevancy back, we feel important, we know we're special to them. That our role in their life shapes their experience, gives them gratitude and they've accepted us as someone they want and need around.
In contrast to that, when people in our life refuse to give us that same respect, warmth and relevancy, then we wonder what is wrong with us. What is missing so we can't be appreciated and regarded with the same love and respect that we show to them. Lack of mutuality makes us sink down with insecurity, self doubt and deep feeling that we're not enough, that we've done something wrong, not to deserve the same that we give to others.
And it also works out the same in isolation, if you have no one close to you, no one who has your well being in mind or cares for what becomes of you, it feels like you're important to no one, like you are not special whatsoever, even like you could be disposable if nobody cares at all.
But none of that is based on what's inside of us, who we are or how much love and good we are capable of giving and showing. It's nothing even related to our behaviour and actions, you could put anyone in these situations and results would be generally similar; person who is not experiencing reciprocity, or is left to fend for themselves alone, will lose the feeling that they're important or special in any way.
Isn't that weird? That we can end up judging our own worth based on nothing we did, or nothing we are, just based on how people around us are treating us, or whether we have anyone around us at all. In our essence we didn't change at all, it's just who is or isn't around, that determines our worth.
If we're put in a group of people who want to create bonds based on good things they see in us, we'll become able of seeing that good in ourselves. If we're surrounded by people who all feel the same as we do, act on the same moral code, readily reciprocate respect and warmth that we show to them, we won't feel like anything is wrong with us. We'll feel at home.
And since this is so intrinsic to being a person, to long for this and only feel relevant, safe and cared for in these circumstances, isn't it natural that we all deserve that? To be surrounded by people who make us feel like nothing is wrong with us, and like we're at home? Who help us focus on everything good in us, and give us no reasons to believe that we should be rejected or banished at all? Since abuse did the absolute opposite, and forced us to believe there's only reasons for abandonment, hatred and contempt, I believe being in the environment where people see many reasons to want us in their lives, would heal us.
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chaosgenasi · 10 months
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I’ve had a life. I think a lot of us here have had a life. And I can count the really good days practically on two hands.
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a2zillustration · 2 months
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:)
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mattodore · 3 months
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somehow managed to make matthias look even more bitchy
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hamofjustice · 9 months
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nemona feels like an obscure blorbo instead of the main rival character from the latest pokemon game because to get to her really good content from people who really get it, you first have to wade through the ocean of yandere pervert obsessive stalker annoying punchable bimbo amazon goddess interpretations of...
... a neurodivergent and possibly disabled high schooler who's desperately trying to make any friends or get any support from her rich neglectful family - while everyone in her school is jealous of their own imagined version of a privileged asshole version of her they made up - who deeply and platonically loves and supports the one new kid who agreed to take the time to get to know and respect her and her special interest without having to hold back her true self
unlike her, it's not great!
kinda feels like she has the same problem in our world that she does in hers.
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daylighteclipsed · 6 months
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sometimes i go back and forth on whether soriku has been intentional since the start or near the start, but then I remember “I got it… You’re thinking about THAT GUY again. Aren’t you?” “Yeah, Sora’s a total zombie when that guy’s on his mind.” and I feel so rabid and insane. Like it’s right there in the second game
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imeoninthewoods · 2 months
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okay but Eurylochus literally guilting and low key trying to gaslight Odysseus into abandoning the men HE lost to Circe is some good ass foreshadowing
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ride-a-dromedary · 4 months
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If the implication in the old journal entry is accurate, and Halsin ended up having to be the one to destroy the shade of his former First Druid that he trained/was taught under, do you think he had time to mourn him? Do you think he fell to his knees in the rubble, feeling the shadows press heavy around him, catatonic, as the weight of realization finally started to hit him? Were any of them reflected back at him when he peered into the dull, sparking energy left behind? Did he let himself cry? Scream? Did he carefully stone his expression and nod tightly in approval, like neatly tying a package, since what he eliminated wasn't him - what was left was so twisted beyond recognition, such a dark reflection of the man he had come to see as second family, that it was better destroyed?
Or did he have to run? Did he shove his grief deep down in the place where it always goes to make room for his survival instinct to bring him into the sun again? Did he have to unceremoniously abandon what was left of him because there was still a chance there may be others - a hope made in vain that the ones they had to leave behind were still out there - praying as he went that he had found peace, that Silvanus recognized his face, before the curse took what was left?
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anna-scribbles · 3 months
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in honor me turning twenty three, i give you: some old original notes about twenty three year old adrien from thirteen<3
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uncanny-tranny · 1 year
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I totally get gendered petnames like dude, sis, bro, and whatever else, and I get why some people might be confused as to why some trans people might take issue with a petname you might think is neutral. However, I do want people to remember that trans people often have different relationships with those petnames because they're gendered, and they might be uncomfortable with those connotations. A trans woman who doesn't want you to call her "dude" is probably not doing it to anger or accuse you of anything, but she might just have a negative relationship with that word.
I get that it can be hard to change habits, but it is worth it to include trans people. If a trans person in your life asks you not to use certain words, I promise they aren't trying to fuck you over or make you feel like you're under attack. They are just expressing a boundary - one that cis people also express.
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hanzajesthanza · 10 months
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“what does geralt get from that friendship…”
another post examining the weight of geralt and dandelion’s friendship… because i don’t think people recognize how painful and debilitating loneliness can become.
the witcher as a deconstruction of the genre takes fantasy tropes to their most logical ends—it asks us to consider what The Lone Swordsman feels, looks into the humanity in a Cold-Blooded Killer. and it turns out he’s not cold-blooded at all.
that despite some superhuman abilities, he laments and worries and curses himself, just like any other worker of any other profession. just as the farmer is scorched by the sun, the washerwoman’s back aches, and the scholar goes half-blind studying, a witcher deals with all of the pains and annoyances and dangers of his job in a mundanely human way.
but the farmer, the washerwoman, and the scholar have something the witcher does not have—they’ll always be seen as human and part of their society. at the end of the day after enduring all of their labor, they have their wife to caress, festivities to attend, and taverns to frequent. but for a witcher? after the killing is over, what does he have? no one and nothing. not even a thank you. he is met with fear and hatred everywhere he goes, baseless bigotry and dislike.
I did my job. I quickly learned how. I’d ride up to village enclosures or town pickets and wait. If they spat, cursed and threw stones, I rode away. If someone came out to give me a commission, I’d carry it out.
so he faces not just loneliness, but being deliberately ostracized and cast out from society. geralt can’t even find a polite word in most settlements, much less a friend.
‘(…) Tell me, where should I go? And for what? At least here some people have gathered with whom I have something to talk about. People who don’t break off their conversations when I approach. People who, though they may not like me, say it to my face, and don’t throw stones from behind a fence. (…)’
this kind of loneliness is not a mere inconvenience. it’s completely altering to your self-perception and ability to see the positive in the world.
each day is not lived, but endured.
day in, and day out—forced to the most difficult and lowest labor in order to survive, and knowing that were you to die, no one would search for your body, few would miss you, hell, they might even spit “good riddance”.
in this situation, to find a friend, is not only friendship, but a rescue.
without dandelion, geralt may have drowned—drowned in solitude, amidst a sea of strangeness.
‘(…) And I’m alone, completely alone, endlessly alone among the strange and hostile elements. Solitude amid a sea of strangeness. Don’t you dream of that?’
No, I don’t, he thought. I have it every day.
because dandelion is not only a bright soul, characteristic rippling laughter and the strum of a lute, but someone who will intently listen to geralt, someone who mutually enjoys his company.
‘(…) you almost jumped out of your pants with joy to have a companion. Until then, you only had your horse for company.’
someone who doesn’t see him as strange and at the fringes of society at all, but as an utterly normal man.
and doesn’t impose demeaning, sappy sympathy onto him, but sobering and realistic “quit your bullshit” which ridicules the very thought that he should internalize societal hatred.
Do you know what your problem is, Geralt? You think you’re different. (…) [You don’t understand that] for people who think clear-headedly you’re the most normal man under the sun, and they all wish that everybody was so normal. What of it that you have quicker reflexes than most and vertical pupils in sunlight? That you can see in the dark like a cat? That you know a few spells? Big deal.
dandelion isn’t “willing” to accept geralt for himself—he already has accepted him. and to him, it’s no difficulty, it’s nothing worth discussing, because he sees no abnormality and no strangeness in him.
while others “prefer the company of lepers to witchers,” dandelion has already offered geralt to share his room and board. not out of sympathetic pity, not out of fetishizing curiosity. because… they’re friends.
and what else does this friendship save him from?
not only from others, but from himself.
worse than enduring others’ apathy and hatred is one’s own thoughts—the darkness and negativity which builds from witnessing and experiencing such behavior.
dandelion’s ability to counter and dispel geralt’s pessimism and self-flagellating tendencies—again, not out of pity, but out of friendship—is undeniably invaluable. someone to rescue you from your darkest thoughts, when you begin to spiral.
and in this darkness, all you can do is cry. you cry, beg for someone to help you, please—
Help! Why doesn't anyone help me? Alone, weak, helpless – I can't move, can't force a sound from my constricted throat. Why does no one come to help me? I'm terrified!
to be alone, the saga reminds us, is worse than a death sentence. to be alone is to “perish; stabbed, beaten or kicked to death, defiled, like a toy passed from hand to hand.” to be alone is to suffer, and to be with someone is to save them from that suffering.
'(…) I wouldn't like anything bad to happen to you. I like you too much, owe you too much-'
'You've said that already. What do you owe me, Yennefer?'
The sorceress turned her head away, did not say anything for a while.
'You travelled with him,' she said finally. 'Thanks to you he was not alone. You were a friend to him. You were with him.'
it is true that geralt has saved dandelion countless times, helped him, gotten him out of some scrape… but to ask what did geralt get in return? are you kidding me?
did you ever consider that it is dandelion who saved geralt?
by being with him. by being by his side. by being his friend.
indeed, dandelion has rescued geralt, countless times, from the yawning jaws of endless loneliness. he’s helped him, chased away the danger of geralt’s own rumination. and he’s gotten him out of scrapes, his own insecurities and bitter helplessness.
so what does dandelion give geralt? what does geralt get from their friendship?
an amusing question. what one gets from friendship is the friendship itself. and that is more than enough.
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arowitharrows · 2 years
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Reminder that people who are technically aro and ace are allowed to not use the split attraction model. They're allowed to just identify as asexual (or as aromantic). They are not harming the community by using ace and aro terms interchangeably, or by talking about not dating while identifying as ace. They are not responsible for allo people's inability to grasp the difference between aromanticism and asexuality. Asexual doesn't automatically mean "person who doesn't feel sexual attraction but still feels romantic attraction". It can mean that, but it can also mean "person who doesn't feel attraction" (and it can mean many other things to other people).
As much as I understand the importance of having separate communities, you just cannot expect everyone to draw rigid lines through their own identities. Just... let things be a little bit messy. Give people space. Alllow them to blur the lines or erase the lines if that's what they feel most comfortable with.
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ourflagmeansgayrights · 11 months
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when has anyone EVER said that homophobia is izzy’s only motivation. i’m on team “gay homophobe izzy” and i do not think this is his only motivation. i don’t even think it’s his primary motivation. it is another layer of complexity on a fascinating character. he is gay and in unrequited love with ed. he craves power and leadership but he is not good at managing those things when he gets them. he thinks men should behave a certain way and is aggressive and cruel to the men who don’t meet his standards. men having sex with each other is fine, but men falling in love with men falls outside of his rigid idea of how men should behave. he lacks the emotional maturity to be able to identify his feelings towards ed. he is so repressed he only accepts intimacy in the form of physical violence. he blames stede for ed changing. he hates stede because ed is changing. to izzy, the worst part about stede changing ed is the fact that stede is such a pathetic excuse of a man it shatters izzy’s image of ed to think that ed could find anything about stede appealing. he’s dedicated his life to the version of ed that he’s made up in his head. he is possessive of being the only one to call him ed, to be the only one who gets to call the legendary blackbeard by his name. but izzy has never been able to see ed without blackbeard. to him, knowing ed is a privilege only because ed is who’s behind the legendary blackbeard’s curtain.
i think izzy is fascinating. he's a fantastic character. he is incredibly well written. he plays a crucial role in the narrative. this show would not be the same without him.
im telling you now, having spent my time in this fandom primarily interacting with people who also read izzy as homophobic, anyone who is using this interpretation to reduce izzy's complexity is by far in the minority with that take.
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sciderman · 4 months
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Sci beloved what do you think Peter and El's dynamic would be like?
el? gonna assume you mean eleanor... my darling... oh...
i'm honestly so obsessed with eleanor and peter's dynamic already - peter is just immediately fond of her. he just, he likes her right off the bat. she's charismatic, and brave, and peter knows it right out of the gate.
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peter's so ready to sign those adoption papers. he loves eleanor already. she's everything that he loves in wade.
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peter's perpetually in eleanor's corner - he's the soft-willed fun parent - if she can't get her way with wade, she'll run to peter and know that he literally cannot say no.
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he thinks that means he's the favourite, but eleanor is a master manipulator just like her biological father and knows exactly who to talk to and what to say to get everything she wants. so if she knows she won't win with wade, she'll trick peter into her bidding. peter is but a naïve pawn in eleanor's games. he believes she can do no wrong, even though every ounce of wade wilson's wickedness courses through her veins. and sometimes eleanor double crosses peter. she has no loyalty. it shocks peter to his core, every time, but she's one step ahead of him, every time.
i can't wait for you guys to see how diabolical eleanor is going to be. oh my god. ohhh my god. see, peter and wade both have dormant supervillain potential within them that they suppress, but eleanor's supervillain gene is Active and she is a Horror.
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antianakin · 2 months
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I hate the double standard demonstrated in these three episodes about the behavior of the real clone troopers and the "defective" clones.
The real clone troopers are trashed like five times in one episode with the cadets feeling betrayed that they were left behind and calling the clones disloyal and uncaring as a result.
But then it's made SUPER CLEAR in the Tantiss episodes that Omega has zero intentions of helping any of the other clones on this base that aren't Crosshair. She has a datapad that is capable of opening cells and is IN THE DETENTION BLOCK and she ONLY opens Crosshair's cell. We saw her walk past several cells in the first episode this season with clones who were also CLEARLY UNWELL and she doesn't bother to even TRY to free them. Having additional people to help overwhelm the Imperial presence on the base might be, I dunno, HELPFUL, but she cares about them so little that she leaves them behind without a second thought. She never mentions anything about trying to help them, she never makes any attempts to help them, she doesn't call them her brothers ever (even though she does call Emerie a "sister" despite having just met her and Emerie clearly being aligned with her jailers and the Empire).
But we're clearly not supposed to condemn Omega for not bothering with trying to save the other clones at all, even though she actually had a CHOICE about it, while the narrative expects me to condemn the real clones for abandoning the cadets even though we know with 100% certainty that they were being mind-controlled at the time and never had a choice about it at all.
So what kind of fucked up double standard are they setting up here where the "defective" special clones get to get away with not caring about anyone but themselves and people who are exactly like them, while the real clones are villains that aren't worthy of being saved?
How can this show set itself up as being a show about clones and write a story and characters like THIS???
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thelostgirl21 · 5 months
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Are you trying to hurt my feelings?
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