#but man that just really got to me because I was so afraid I was gonna have to let go of essek

[hopepunk-humanity]

My car broke down and I’m having to replace a few parts. It happened in the middle of the road and it was stressful, dangerous, and costs more than I have. This is a bad situation. But even in the midst of dealing with this, it’s been really heartwarming to see how many total strangers are willing to help. Twice my car had to be pushed, and twice people who I’ve never met got out of their own vehicles and helped me push. Both were smiling and wished me luck. My car is in a public parking lot while I work on it, and a motorcycle mechanic who drove by saw me with the hood open, turned around, and drove into the parking lot to offer his help. I needed it. He was friendly and cheerful. I’ve never met that man before in my life and I’ll never see him again, but just like the others he helped simply because he could.

Sometimes it feels like everyone is so afraid of each other that we don't help anyone anymore. It's nice to hear things like this and be proven wrong.

#humanity #hopepunk #asks answered #anonymous ask

[muzsmoux]

Reviewing tgcf characters because I have thoughts

I finished S2 recently and I need somewhere to put my not exactly hot but like warm (?) takes because it's taking up too much storage space in my brain.

🤍 Xie Lian 🤍

It's a good thing I'm not into guys because if I was I would be on my knees for this man in every sense of that expression and his pet menace to society would mince me up like garlic.

So I'll try to be brief about my overflowing feelings about him. Xie Lian is the best main character I have come across in a WHILE. He's the embodiment of compassion and kindness. And also a cold blooded murderer. A babygirl. A father figure. A terrifying martial god. A silly little guy. A pathological liar. The most genuine man you'll ever meet. He's everything, and Hua Cheng is 100% valid in his obsession. I'm right there with him.

Rating: 10/10

❤️ Hua Cheng ❤️

Idk if we ever figured out who wrote My Immortal but I'm pretty sure we have our culprit.

"Hi my name is Hua Cheng Crimson Rain Sought Flower Red-Robed Ghost King and this is my evil weapon of death E-ming. I've killed soooo many gods with it!! My dark power is I can summon storms of BLOOD and SUFFERING. I have my own scary city of DEMONS and they all love me and think I'm HOT but I only want my BOYFRIEND who's the only REAL GOD so STOP FLAMING HIM YOU POSERS-"

Needless to say I love him. Being the 8 time winner of the Loverboy of the Century Awards with unbeatable records in the yearning olympics is truly a remarkable feat.

Rating: 9/10

(Bonus: E-ming. Cute little guy. Likes his stepdad more than his real dad. Not afraid to show it's feelings even if it makes it look like a muppet, 10/10)

🧡 Feng Xin & Mu Qing 🧡

Tweedle dee and tweedle dum gets a shared rating because they would hate to be grouped together like that and that's funny to me. Their dynamic is great, they're good characters, I wasn't sure which one was which until midway through the second season. But then also I have a pair of 7yo twin cousins who I still can't tell apart despite them not looking even a slight bit similar so that might just be a character flaw on my end. Oops.

Rating: 7/10

🩵Shi Qingxuan🩵

I'm doubling the rating because she is best boy and best girl at the same time. I love that I can use any and all pronouns for him because he's literally a pride parade personified and therefore all of them are correct. You don't get that type of chaotic fun just anywhere.

He is truly living my dream, presenting as whatever gender they want depending on what's more convenient and/or funnier in the moment. Super useful, for things like gathering intel and terrorizing Feng Xin by being a woman.

And I personally think we should crown her the new emperor. She'd look significantly better on that throne, with her Barbie-like radiance and flourishing Kenergy.

Rating: 20/10

🖤 Ming Yi 🖤

Listen, I hate to say it because I like a sunshine x grump moment as much as the next gay but he's just... not giving what he thinks he's giving. Everyone is whispering ominously about him having some dark devastating secret but MY point is no matter how big his boobs are in his female form, Shi Qingxuan could do better. I'm sorry. She really could.

Rating: 4/10

💙 Lang Qianqiu 💙

Just an honest man with good intentions and a sickass fucking sword. He did NOT hesitate to attack the infamous Crimson Rain Sought Flower on SIGHT and I respect a quick decisionmaker, even if it shows some himbo tendencies. He also has the same distinct energy as Fred from Scooby Doo.

Rating: 6/10

💚 Qi Rong 💚

He's got some odd dietary and moral choices going on. Definitely. But he's just such a fun villain!!! Being Xie Lian's nr 1 source of migraines SHOULD make me like him less but I'm sorry, every time he was on screen I was LIVING. He would do numbers on reality TV. Someone put this guy on Kitchen Nightmares, I need to see him 1v1 Gordon Ramsay.

Rating: 7/10

🌚 Jun Wu 🌚

He has his emperor status & DILF card going for him but something about this man just ain't right. If he came to a party I was attending I would cover my drink is all I'm saying.

Rating: 2/10

🔥Pei Ming🔥

I don't know much about him besides he had that one shady empolyee or whatever (could not hear the plot over the deafening sound of Hua Cheng's yearning) but I'm partial to a good manwhore character. The thought of people praying to him like "Hugh Mungus, who art in heaven-" really tickles me.

I know he's probably straight but I headcanon him as at the very least bi-curious because you can't be that hot with that much game and not use it for evil. (That evil being causing large scale gay awakenings among his soldiers.)

Rating: 7/10

❓Pei Xiu❓

Unreliable, unimportant, unattractive, unemployed.

I remember not a singular thing about him besides fucking up Xie Lian's daughter's life and also being on my last nerve from the jump. If you're going to be evil at like least be memorable about it, you know? You can't be a bad person and a bad character at the same time. Pick a struggle.

Rating: 1/10

📚 Ling Wen 📚

I heard she committed some war crimes but honestly if I had to do an entire realm's tax returns by myself AND teach Pei Ming how to read (I refuse to believe that man is literate, just look at him) I would want to rage on occasion too. I hope she has a hot wife waiting for her at home to give her massages after carrying the whole system on her back all day. It's what she deserves.

Rating: 8/10

Thank you for reading!! Opinions might change once I read the books but as of now this is it. Remembering everyone's names has been a journey and a half so this post is sponsored by @kirstenly 's character cheat sheet go look at it! and everything else too!!!

#heaven official's blessing #tian guan ci fu #tgcf #xie lian #hua cheng #feng xin #mu qing #shi qingxuan #ming yi #lang qianqiu #qi rong #jun wu #pei ming #pei xiu #ling wen #sorry for the long post #im just obsessed

[torturedpoetsflashfest]

FEST RECAP

Thank you all for a wonderful flash fest! 24 fics based on 16 songs with the most popular being "The Prophecy," "Peter," and "But Daddy I Love Him." The Black cousins reign supreme over this album with Regulus (7), Sirius (6), Andromeda (5), Narcissa (5) and Bellatrix (4) being the most popular characters. 9 fics met the challenge of having a word count which ends with 13.

Thank you to all the writers, and maybe we'll see you again for a flash fest for Rep (tv). In the meantime, come hang out in @marauders-taylor-fiending discord server or participate in @thetorturedpoetsfest <3

She's the Albatross (She's Here to Destroy You) by thistlecat (Narcissa centric, 313, T)

Beautiful, poised Narcissa Black Malfoy, so unlike her mad sisters with their insistence on destruction. Song: The Albatross

Did you really beam me up in a cloud of sparkling dust just to send me back where I came from? by @comesitintheclover (Harry-centric, 1013 words, G)

Harry wakes up from a long nightmare where he reckons with the anger of being left in an abusive home and how to feel about all that he's been through now that it's finally over and he's finally safe. Song: Down Bad

If Only by multilingualism (Hermione/Severus, 1013, T)

Severus imagines what could have been.

A greater woman has faith by @sugarsnappeases (Lily/Sybill, 3849, T)

they're exes. they're miserable. things ensue.

Song: The Prophecy

Take the Glory, Give Everything by MidnightStargazer (Narcissa & Regulus, Narcissa & Draco, 743, T)

Regulus dreams of glory, longing to make a name for himself and be remembered. Eighteen years later, Draco does the same. Narcissa knows better. Song: Clara Bow

The Prophecy by eggmett (Regulus/Tom Riddle, 1013, M)

The prophecy—For neither can live while the other survives. The thing that had finally sent Tom over the edge. Confimation that he would fall before he had even finished rising. But the omen sentenced us to death that day too. Tom and I would never be free of each other as long as we’re both alive. We’d never be able to live inside this toxic world we built. It didn’t stop me for yearning for it. I’ll always be desparate for his attention. Desparate for his touch. Song: The Prophecy

Promises, Oceans Deep by @sixlane (Regulus & Sirius, 2357, T)

Regulus lies awake on the night of his 14th birthday, running through the plan over and over in his mind. He’s had years to work it out, make sure it’s perfect, but tonight it becomes real, no room for messing up. If he’s caught, he’s dead. He knows this like he knows his own name. A truth his parents have been telling him since Sirius left. or, Regulus executes his escape to meet his brother, but he must soon face the fact that he's been left behind. When Sirius finally turns up, he's seven years too late. Song: Peter

A Dangerous Man by MidnightStargazer (Lucius/Narcissa, 695, T)

Lucius has blood on his hands and owes his allegiance to Lord Voldemort, but Narcissa doesn't care. Song: I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)

what if he's written "Mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind? by @thistlecatfics (Sirius/Regulus, 1013, E)

Regulus and Sirius are brothers. Regulus and Sirius are no longer brothers. Or, a culmination of fatal fantasies. Song: Guilty as Sin

Peter by Faelostinwoods (Marlene & Peter, 229, G)

Peter had been angry, angry at his friends who treating him worse as the war got worse, angry at dumbledore for not protecting them, angry at whoever created his story because it was getting worse. He had joined the death eaters, in a desperate attempt to change his outcome. Yet, he didn’t expect it to go this far. Song: Peter

my absence makes headlines by @plecotusauritus (Sirius-centric, 459, G)

the scandal was contained the bullet had just grazed at all cost keep your good name you don't get to tell me you feel bad Song: Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?

Forever Guilty, of Sin by @nena-96 (Hermione/Ron, 2148, M)

Hermione is alone inside the tent, as she tried to read The Tales of Beedle the Bard, but her memories blend in with the guilty fantasy that was being with Ron Weasley. Song: Guilty as Sin

loml by @emlovessid (Regulus/James, 1013, M)

It’s only been a few weeks since he’s been able to put words to it, but the feeling itself has been there from the beginning, from the first twining of hands and hitching of breath as their lips brushed, growing and growing until– “I love you,” James sighs, the words tumbling out as he breathes freely for the first time in weeks. “You might be the love of my life, actually.” Song: loml

So Long, London by @tealeavesandtrash (Sirius/Remus, 1013, T)

The silence hangs heavy, dead air suffocating. The sky outside is covered in grey clouds, casting the kitchen gloomy shadows. The pathetic fallacy is well-suited at least. Sirius’ eyes burn into him, staring him down over a cup of tea. It makes Remus’ skin crawl worse than the half-healed scars that litter his arms and back. He focuses on buttering the dry toast. Three months ago Sirius would have had breakfast ready for him when he came home. Six months ago he was still begging to spend the full moon together. Song: So Long, London

Burn My Life Down by @thecasualauthor (Andromeda/Ted, 637, G)

She sees everything about her life burn to ashes. Song: But Daddy I Love Him

Slow Quicksand, Poisoned Blood by @nodirectionhome-ao3 (James/Lily, 913, T)

After learning of the prophecy that threatens to doom her son, Lily begs the cosmos to spare him from this fate. Song: The Prophecy

I might just love you 'til the end by @ncoincidences (James/Lily, 1013, G)

James and Lily have been together since high school, seven years with each other. Recently, they have been drifting apart... will they make it till the end? Song: imgonnagetyouback

These Fatal Fantasies by MidnightStargazer (Bellatrix/Tom, Bellatrix/Rodolphus, 606, M)

Bellatrix is faithful to her husband. Technically. But her heart belongs to the Dark Lord. Song: Guilty as Sin

Mine Alone to Disgrace by MidnightStargazer (Andromeda/Ted, 474, G)

Andromeda tells her parents she's engaged to Ted Tonks Song: But Daddy I Love Him

I Can Do It With a Broken Heart by MidnightStargazer (Narcissa centric, 770, T)

Narcissa won't let anyone see her cry, even when her heart is breaking. Song: I Can Do It With a Broken Heart

but now we’ll curtail your curiosity (in sweetness) by @chemicalwildflowers (Andromeda & Tonks, Andromeda & Bellatrix, 215, G)

Nymphadora finds an old photo. Andromeda wants to protect her, for just one more day. Song: Robin

The Black Dog by ghstboys (Sirius/Remus, Remus/Tonks, 154, unrated)

Sirius watches Remus and Tonks from the afterlife. Song: The Black Dog

But Daddy I Love Him by @miss-grimwood (Bellatrix/Rodolphus, 146, T)

Bellatrix tries her best to avoid an arranged marriage with Lucius Malfoy in favour of Rodolphus Lestrange. Song: But Daddy I Love Him

said you’d come and get me but you were twenty-five (and the shelf life of those fantasies has expired) by @effiepotterisamilf (Regulus & Sirius, 295, G)

It’s Sirius’ 25th birthday and he’s not coming back for Regulus. Song: Peter

#hp fests #hp taylor swift #marauders #the tortured poets department #fest recap

[hazbinfallinginaspiral]

Hey, sorry to trouble you. Unsure of your time zone so i hope this is sent at a good time! (Sorry if it isn't!)

Could you maybe do something with Vox and a Reader who saves him from a surprise attack via a Sinner or Angel?

Kinda the Reader just like 'Oh sorry i got blood on you. Glad you're okay.' With Vox unsure if he wants this person under contact or to kiss them. Or do whatever go nuts!

(I have no idea what timezone I’m in tbh, I’m too lazy to check. As I’m posting this it is 10:50 AM where I live, if that helps anyone. No worries, though! I love answering all your asks and writing out posts based on your requests!)

“Walking downtown, avoiding the paparazzi…” Vox muttered to himself. He’d really done it this time. He was trying to avoid being out of the Vee tower for too long, but he’d taken a detour with almost no Voxtek cameras. Now he couldn’t teleport. It made him uneasy. “God fucking damnit…”

“Stop right there, bitch,” a sinner demon said, pointing a gun at him. Vox froze, but not out of fear. He was surprised first, that a sinner demon would try to hurt an Overlord. This one must be new, or arrogant. But as he looked at the gun, he couldn’t help the tidal wave of emotions that over came him, all memories of compromising situations- similar situations- he’d been in when he was alive. “That’s right, now… put your hands where I can see them.”

Vox absentmindedly complied, still partially reliving every single time he’d had a gun pointed at him before. Every wound he’d received, every bullet he’d had to fish out of his own flesh.

“Good, now-”

The sinner demon was cut off brutally. With an axe. To its neck. Its head came off with ease and you stood behind it, looking surprised. Vox’s eyes widened. Now he was vaguely afraid.

“Oh. I didn’t expect it to be so… fragile,” you said, nudging the corpse of the demon lightly. “Huh. Well, in any case…” you looked up to Vox, an apologetic look on your face. “Sorry about that. Did I get any blood on your suit? I can cover the expenses.”

“I… uh,” Vox was speechless. He’d just frozen up in front of a lowlife sinner demon and had been saved by another, who was now apologizing to him. What the fuck. Something had to be wrong with him, especially with these weird feelings he had in his chest. Felt all fluttery and stupid like butterflies. “My suit is fine. I narrowly avoided the splash zone, I think. Thank you for your offer.”

“Of course! Not a problem,” you said with a smile. Vox noticed you hadn’t stepped any closer to him, you’d kept your distance. But you’d put your axe away. You knew who he was and how dangerous he was, how defenseless you were in comparison, but you were still talking to him. Did you feel superior to him just because you’d saved him? No, that couldn’t be it�� you seemed so… genuine. “Seedy part of town for a business man like yourself to be in. I’m guessing the paparazzi were a nightmare today?”

“Oh absolutely,” Vox said with a grin. He was quickly regaining his confident demeanor. “It was absolute torture at that interview! Ah, but don’t tell anyone I said that. It wouldn’t be good for my image. I’m sure you can keep a secret,” he said, linking his arm in yours and walking with you. This was a test.

“Definitely,” you said, with a small laugh. “It’d be far more embarrassing for me, anyway. I mean, the fact I interrupted your walk through town? With murder, no less! That was quite rude of me.” You smiled, carefree and lighthearted as he walked you away. You didn’t even know where he was taking you, but you were still so upbeat. “No worries. If you don’t tell anyone about that little incident back there, I won’t say a word about your occasional distaste for public attention.”

“Wonderful! Sounds like a deal, then,” Vox said, looking down at you. He was pleased with how this whole thing had gone. You hadn’t even seen him as weak for freezing up in front of that other sinner demon! You probably thought he was annoyed or planning to kill the demon himself. His image was safe, you didn’t suspect a thing. You had no idea how vulnerable he’d been in the moment back there. “Say, how about we make another, more official deal? Something with some actual benefits.”

“Really?” You asked, looking surprised. “I mean, I don’t have much to offer. We only just met and-”

“And you’ve piqued my interest, dear,” he said with a smile. He held your arm tighter, more protectively. Whether you agreed to anything or not, he’d be keeping you around. “I have a feeling we’ll get to know each other very well.”

#hazbin hotel #vox #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin vox #writing #vox x reader #my writing #x reader #reader insert #thanks anon!

[rosemarilee]

Each ttpd song and how it relates to the maurader era characters

1. Fortnite- Mary when she fell in love with someone who wasn’t worth her time

2. Tortured Poets Department- Remus singing about Sirius

3. My Boy Only Breaks his Favorite Toys- atyd Sirius about Remus after Remus the “Mr tell me a fucking secret”

4. Down Bad- regulus about James

5. So long London- Choices Lily after Regulus dies and James is a mess

6. But Daddy I love him- Sirius after he realized he loved Remus

7. Fresh out the Slammer- Lily after dumping James

8. Florida!!!- Sirius after getting out of Azkaban and being a mess

9. Guilty as sin- regulus after becoming death eater and remembering James

10. Who’s afraid of Little old me- Dorcas after Marlene got killed and she went on a murder spree

11. I can fix him (no really I can)- James hoping he can save Regulus

12. Loml- Remus after Sirius went to Azkaban

13. I can do it with a broken heart- Regulus pretending to be fine after joining the death eaters

14. The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived- Lily about Snape after she finally realized he was shit

15. The Alchemy - James signing about Regukus

16. Clara Bow- regulus finding out about how his tragic life story has been repeating throughout history

17. The Black Dog- James singing about how Regulus is apparently fine after they end

18. Imgonnagetyouback- Remus is confused on whether he wants Sirius or to kill Sirius after The Prank

19. The Albatross- Regulus as a death eater when he sees James and knows he will destroy his life for him

20. Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus- when Sirius is sleeping with everyone except Remus

21. How did it end- James is confused how him and Regulus ended so abruptly

22. So highschool- regulus when James makes him feel like a teenager instead of someone with the weight of the world on his back

23. I hate it here- regulus compartmentalizing when he is with his family

24. thanK you aIMee- Lily singing about all the horrible people at Hogwarts that goaded her to being the best

25. I look through peoples windows- Remus after when everyone he loved died and he is looking for his family in strangers houses

26. The Prophecy- James after Regulus broke up with him and then it didn’t work out with Lily and he just wants love

27. Cassandra- Sirius singing about how terrible his family is

28. Peter- James singing to Regulus because he thought eventually he would come to the good side but he died instead

29. The Bolter- Mary in Hogwarts

30. Robin- Sirius singing about regulus

31. The Manuscript- when Regulus finally accepts that his family is not what a family should be

#marauders #harry potter #james loves regulus #jegulus #regulus black #james potter #regulus being regulus #regulus loves james #ttpd #taylor swift #sirius black coded song #atyd sirius #sirius loves remus #sirius being sirius #sirius x lupin #sirius #remus loves sirius #remus x sirius #sirius black #sirius orion black #sirius and regulus #james & peter & remus & sirius #james x regulus

[just-antithings]

this might have already been submitted because it was a while ago, but i was just reminded of it. so when the fnaf movie came out, dreamtheory was a popular crackship between the protagonist and matpat's cameo character (the ship still has a fandom, but the hype has died down a bit). there was one person on tiktok that posted dreamtheory ship art, and their videos regularly got pretty popular. it was what got me into the ship actually.

anyway, when the novelisation of the movie was released- which is noncanon to the movie, as the fnaf books have always been noncanon- the book changed matpat's character's age for some reason, describing him as a teenager. despite the fact that he's played by a man in his 30s and clearly an adult, but sure, whatever, it's not canon anyway

only the dreamtheory tiktoker IMMEDIATELY made a huge apology post condemning the perfectly legal ship they'd been gushing about for months, even saying that they know the books aren't canon but they still think the ship is icky and problematic now. it's like, are antis really so afraid of their own community's backlash they'll totally drop a ship they like just because it might be problematic?

That sounds exhausting

#mod erin #ask #just anti things

[lesbianleonardo]

read the michaelanglo macro issue and ohhh my fucking god ojhhhhh my god

anyway. this page was really cute

#I HAVE. SO MANY THOUGHTS. #so wooo ramble in the tags #how splinter talks to leo actually makes me so ill #also ​the way the three of them try to justify the children in the foot clan is so interesting #raphael saying how it would be good for self defense because he was on the streets knowing Nothing and had no support #the children being a part of the foot is awful but at least they won’t be on the streets alone #and then donnie and leo knowing there’s no where else with resources and they just Can’t say no to splinter #i got my jenny crumbs too. i’m so excited to see more of her #and godddd just everything about mikey. i really enjoy the amount of love and care idw puts into his character #he misses the father he knew and he’s not afraid to stand up to the man he is now #‘you’re Worse than shredder’ OUGH. #and then his brothers cheering him on after winning :) he did what they couldn’t do! #i’m so excited to see what splinter’s future holds. i really hope this gets through his head that he need to change (i am coping and hoping) #ok ramble over #idw #idw mikey #idw leo #tmnt idw #idw tmnt #tmnt #turtle talks

[isfjmel-phleg]

🌋

#random personal stuff #personal whining ahead feel free to ignore #it's sinking in that the increase in the displaying of these 'jokes' at work is related to our boss no longer being here #it can't have been a coincidence that the picture in the inbox went back on top the very day we threw her her goodbye party #apparently this man thinks that she was the one who was pushing back against the nonsense? #and maybe she was - I don't know what went on between them #(though I always got the impression that she seemed a bit afraid of him for whatever reason and just let him do whatever most of the time) #but I'm tired of having to put up with this and angry at the situation in general #and I really will go and talk with the VP of Academic Affairs once I can get some advice from my communications major friend #so I can avoid just walking into her office and exploding #(I don't understand this I don't understand why he feels the need to display these images in the office & always about this now-completely- #irrelevant topic and even if it were relevant the 'jokes' are juvenile and mean-spirited and I know he thinks he's doing the Lord's work in #picking the kinds of books that he does but tell me exactly how this garbage is the Lord's work and what he thinks he's accomplishing with #this other than making himself look petty and giving me further cause for frustration because it isn't just the stupid pictures it's the #pervasive attitude behind them that I have had to deal with for years now and I wish I were a different person so I could get right in his #face and tell him that this is unacceptable and expect to be heard and regarded)

[dazais-guardian-angel]

went to my first con in 4 years on Friday to meet Kaiji Tang and got a Dazai autograph + video recording of him reading to me. He was the sweetest person (as I knew he would be) and interacting with him was lovely, but also at the same time oh boy it sure was an extremely stressful, ugly wake-up call of what it feels like to live in a world now where everyone around you has blissfully moved on from covid and can enjoy things normally and happily, while you'll forever be trapped in a hellscape of perpetual fear 🫠🫠🫠

#like. to be clear this was the first time i've been literally anywhere but doctor's appointments in 4 years #not just because of the pandemic but because of mental and physical exhaustion #so it was a Big Mistake to go from 0 to 100 and not ease myself into it at all #but at the same time........ it was a fucking hellscape of people. i don't think any kind of buildup could have prepared me for it at all. #it was so much less crowded in 2020 (ironically the very last place i ever went; literally on the BRINK of covid) #and now idk what it's become. a monster con. it was unbelievable. #but i was only there for less than an hour but i was so so so terrified that i very nearly left before even seeing him #i couldn't even fully enjoy meeting him as kind as he was because i was so anxious and distracted #and when i got back to the car i just fucking cried......... #the last five days i've just been sitting in fear waiting to feel Any sort of symptoms #i wore two masks and again was barely there for long but Still #and everyone around me was so chill as if everything was normal and No One was wearing a mask :))))) it's not fucking fair man :))))) #insert the 'they don't know' meme; they don't know how much covid can destroy your body even if you get a 'mild' case #i would never want to be that ignorant even if i wasn't disabled and didn't have reason to worry (but everyone has reason to worry!!!) #but also. ignorance is bliss and it just really fucking sucks man. #it really fucking sucks. why do they get to be happy and enjoying life and not /me?/ #why can't i do just ONE thing for myself without having it tainted by anxiety and fear that i'm going to die horribly??? #while they get to do fucking EVERYTHING??? #if they all just wore masks we could all enjoy ourselves much more comfortably than some of us are now #but no that's too much to ask from people 🙃🙃🙃 #shit sucks man. the world sucks. something that should be a happy memory for me was simultaneously the most awful experience #and i don't know how to feel about it now that it's over #he knew that i was afraid and at the end he told me that he hoped to see me again at another event someday #and that made me cry because it felt like dazai telling me to live. and i want to. but i don't know how to when the world is like this now. #i desperately want to be able to see him again someday but right now after how terrifying that was i never want to go to a con ever again.. #i wanted to ask him things about the manga and about dazai but i was being rushed and stressed so i couldn't ugh #(and doing that is hard enough anyway cause disability and i have to talk with my phone bahhhh) #at least i was able to give him my note *sigh*

[nexus-nebulae]

the fact that no game in existence activates a primal, deep-rooted fear in me like rain world, somehow

#this is all /pos btw like i fucking love this game and i think it's fascinating that it does this when no other game i've played does #but like. i did the ascending without max karma ending #real tears. i cried in fear- #THE VOID WORMS SCARE ME SO FUCKING BAD MAN #like there are no two areas that make me more afraid than submerged superstructure and the void sea #leviathans fucking HORRIFY me #AND THE FACT THAT APPARENTLY THERE IS A CANON REASON TO VOID WORMS AND LEVIATHANS LOOKING SIMILAR????????? #WHATS THE REASON. WHATS THE REASON 😭😭😭 #LIKE. I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH THAT THIS FEAR OF THE VOID WORMS I HAVE FEELS LIKE A PRIMAL VISCERAL FEAR LIKE THIS IS FROM DEEP WITHIN MY SOU #I DON'T KNOW WHAT COULD HAVE CAUSED IT BUT THEY CERTAINLY ACTIVATE SOMETHING IN MY BRAIN!!!!!! #i'm literally refusing to do any ascension endings i don't have to do because fuck that no thanks 😭 #i was planning on doing a save file with all ascension endings too when i first got the game lol #also like no other game activates my agoraphobia like rain world does #i think it has something to do with how the camera moves #and how when you're in a large room there's absolutely no way to see the entirety of it #so there's no way of knowing if you're really alone #and when there might be a leviathan swimming around this room with you just outside of view #ohhhhhhhhhhhh boy

[hopefullyababe]

literally so fucking worried about fucking this whole friend thing up. what if i do something weird. and then they dont like me anymore. what if i get to know them better and i dont like them. what if im gonna be alone again.

#daphnes talking again #i got sort of. schlorped into a friendgroup yesterday #and im so. im so scared of fucking it up. i keep seeing them be like we are hanging out Here at This Time in the group chat and im like. #man i want to hang out too. do i ask? if i can? what if between now and the time they hang out i decide i dont want to #what if i dont have an out if i want to leave #what of i end up not liking them anymore and then i avoid them forever and im alone again #what if they actually dont want me there but they dont know how to tell me #what if none of them really like me or want to get to know me they just wanted to be nice #what if they pity me #im literally. im so scared they dont like me. #what if im weird. or too quiet. or dont contribute anything to the group. #i dont have a very big personality. im very quiet. #what if they just talk over me. what if im ignored. #what if theyre bad people. who want to make me feel welcome because they want something from me. #im so scared man i dont like this. #i got waved at twice today and both times i looked behind me because obviously there was someone behind me more worthy of a wave #but #yeah no it was me #do they not know man. do they not know im weird and avoident and afraid to be looked at. #maybe if they knew they wouldnt want me in their group

[madeofbees]

i’m not even a person, i’m just a bunch of traumas stacked on top of each other in a trench coat made of fandoms.

personality ? me ? no no, that’s just season 4 of community. common mistake though !

#cptsd culture is #cptsd #bpd #borderline personality disorder #i am just a-okay fine-a-doodle-do #I am not well-adjusted. and more often than not I am barely keeping it together. I’m constantly texting and there’s no one on the other end #I’m just a grown man who can’t even look his own friends in the eye for too long because I’m too afraid they’ll see that I am broken. #one time when I was in seventh grade I told everyone I had appendicitis. I wanted someone to worry about me. but when Beth Brannon asked to #see the scar I didn’t wanna get found out. so I took mom’s scissors and I made one. it hurt like hell but it was worth it because I got #seventeen cards. and I still keep them in a box underneath my bed 22 years later because it proves that someone at some point cared about me #I also have a collection of cards like that #them: why do you like things so much god the materialism #me: I got myself that Gengar plushie for my birthday #my sibling and I went to a sketch thinkgeek store in a sketch mall in a sketch area bc I had a coupon #it was super uncomfortable but I found my guy #then we got Dunkin and I surprised my dad at work with a bagel #then Robin and I hung out at their place and it was a really lovely day #that’s why.

[justagaycryptid]

Ngl I/Me/Myself is the absolute WORST song that could have gone viral for Will especially on tiktok of all places because it is an incredibly nuanced song and tiktok users are not particularly known for their understandings of nuance

#just thinking about this earlier #and really this goes for social media in general #but I'm pretty sure it blew up on tiktok #when will sang that he was afraid of his fans in um i mean its kind of a lot its just like yeah me too dude sorry about that one #ngl a lot of will wood fans are some of the absolute worst music fans I have ever seen #right up there with pre-hiatus fall out boy fans and mitski fans #i'm sure there's more those are just the people I am most familiar with though I don't listen to mitski #something something lets put the worst of will wood and mitski fans in a room together and see them fuckin kill each other or whatever #but damn will has some absolute shitty fans like I feel so bad for this man he literally cannot catch a break #like holy shit leave him alone! #hopefully he has a nice hiatus because god knows hes earned a break #and yeah this was a while ago but point still stands #and yeah most of his songs are pretty nuanced but this one is probably more of a sensitive and personal one #also it's so fucking weird how bad people want will to be queer #like I don't know if he is for sure I think I saw something about him being mspec but I don't know if its true #and even if it is it's really none of my buisness #and holy shit not every gnc person is trans #though I have seen him joke about this one so thankfully he doesn't seem too bothered by it anymore #that or he's got a good sense of humor about it #but holy shit it's really just one thing after another for him #will wood #shouting into the void

[8bit-mau5]

sometimes i dont feel like putting in the effort to be Super Emotive through text cos its so much effort but then the lack of caps, exclamation points, emojis, etc scares people away

man i dont want ppl to think im a bitch or that im angry just cos some days its too much of an effort to mask or be the hashtag bubbly friend

#ill get to the rest of my asks later i am so hyperfocused on worlds most venomous creachers rn #8bit beeps #ive been getting worried messges across my socials and im just like #girl! i cant be assed. im fine #i do all that extra stuff because i got so tired of people telling me they were afraid of me for no reason so i started typing like i do- #now to avoid it but it really hasnt changed anything #text equivalent of customer service smile/voice #doesnt do shit when youre a man of color in online spaces #lays down

[laomelettedufromage]

So apparently when you graduate college, you get to unlock a whole new sleuth of issues depending on what you do or happens after

#hiiiiii making tumblr my diary again<3333 #today is another bad day which I was afraid we were heading here #I think a lot of it is I just got less sleep #and it always seems to get worse on the weekends when everyone is like out partying and doing stuff yknow #anyways I used to be a very independent person who was good at keeping myself from being lonely and bored #but now I’m struggling very hard with both of those things which just feels so DUMB #but while there’s some things I can do to kinda help alleviate the boredom #there’s really nothing I can do for the loneliness at the moment which kinda sucks #and also the loneliness is definitely new #like it isn’t but me identifying it as loneliness is new #I think originally I was chalking it up to jealousy and boredom #and those two emotions are definitely still there #but I don’t think I’m giving loneliness enough credit😅 #which sucks because I’m not technically ALONE… ever #it’s just my coworker doesn’t really fill the hole yknow?? and then I also feel bad for him for that #even though I know that’s not my guilt to take on #but I know I’ve been very moody IM MOODY RIGHT NOW and it’s hard to keep that contained and so some of it gets taken out on him #which feels bad because he doesn’t deserve it AT ALL #and also I really do want to leave a good impression on these people😔 #idk man maybe after I eat I’ll like walk around or something #call one of my roommates #and then maybe start work on sewing my Jean jacket or somethin #it’s going to be a long month and my brain seems determined to make it suck😅 #personal

[coffeeworldsasaki]

My dog runs in my room every time he sees my father and when I say it's because she doesn't want to be with him he has the guts to protest and invent excuses lol

#idk man how many times do you think you can hit a dog before he stops feeling safe around you is this really so shocking #this is a huge pain for me too because the fucking cat ruined his... whatever dogs beds are called in English that was in my room so now he #only has one and every single time my father leaves his room I have to move that thing in my room and when he goes back i have to move it #again #i have to see if I can somehow fix the other one but I don't even know if he'd use it now? #sometimes his back legs give up at random and that thing is tall and I'm afraid he'd fall down #i already need to always put the one he uses against a wall because he has started to trip on it and fall with it on top of him 😭 #...he also falls down because he trips on everything #he's a nervous wreck and I'm afraid he's also getting memory issues now because yesterday he asked me to leave the room twice? usually i go #to bed read 10 minutes and then he starts asking me for food and after eating he just goes to sleep with me #yesterday he asked me again we left the room and he did nothing #my poor dog got old all of a sudden since moving to this awful place #it's this fucking cold he was still acting like a puppy before the first winter here and now he looks 90 #my poor sweet dog doesn't deserve this shit at his age i wish we had stayed in the south