#but mostly riko. who cares about the other two lets be real.
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The one where Kevin Day falls in love with an ice hockey player.
Part 8
Windows
(TW: Mentions of Riko and conditions in the Nest, slight angst)
Anything included in this head canon takes place the semester after the Foxes won the championship against the Ravens.
Disclaimer: I know next to nothing about varsity teams in the United States so excuse any false information. Head over to the directory to find the previous parts.
Eric claimed he knew where to take Kevin. He said that he’d make up for the lack of privacy on the public rink, and Kevin let him drive them away. He was surprised when Eric parked outside of an old building. It still looked well preserved.
“This is sort of a hideout for the frats mostly,” Eric explained as he led Kevin inside. “It was found abandoned and they usually use it to throw parties. We got lucky that today is not one of those days.”
Kevin raised an eyebrow as he looked around. At least here, they were away from prying eyes and away from Andrew. He didn’t let himself think for too long that the only reason they were doing this pretend dating was that so people would watch them. Technically, neither of them had to agree to coming here.
He found a couch pushed back against the wall but before he could sit on it, Eric stopped him by standing in front of him.
“Not here. Come on.” He headed up the stairs. Kevin hesitated, and would have been suspicious if he hadn’t known that there was no way Eric hadn’t registered and taken Andrew’s threat seriously.
And so, he followed.
Kevin had doubts when he realized their new spot was in the attic.
But upon laying eyes on the mostly empty space, he halted.
It was small and yet big enough for just the two of them. There was a large window across from them, higher up, and when Kevin walked closer, he noticed that the only view through it was of the sky.
Eric sat down and pressed his palms down on the floor to lean on them, staring up at the window. Kevin hesitated before sitting down next to him.
“Sometimes, we come here with the guys from the team when we need a break, you know?” Eric started. Kevin scoffed as he kept his gaze outside of the window.
“So, you brought me on the same place you bring your teammates?” Kevin had loosened enough that Eric could tell he was teasing.
“Mm well, I figured we’d have some peace and quiet.”
And so, in silence they remained for a few minutes. The window was slightly ajar, so Kevin could listen to the sounds of the busy campus outside.
“Today was fun,” Eric said.
Kevin nodded slowly and brought one knee close to his body, hugging it.
“I suppose it was.”
Kevin could remember the feeling of Erik’s hand closing around his, the feeling of his breath against his skin, the goaltender’s laughter echoing even over the laughter of the children in the rink.
But he could also remember Riko. Riko and Tetsuji and their words. A good player was just that; a player dedicated to playing the game. Anything else did not matter. Especially things that could get in the way. Distractions.
Ravens did not care who they slept with in the nest. Gender did not matter, as long as they took what they wanted; meaningless sex. Riko however, would always tell Kevin that homosexuality was disgusting. It had no place in a world that belonged predominantly to men.
Kevin then remembered Jean’s screams and pleads.
He almost flinched, but Eric chose that moment to speak:
“You are always doing this.”
“Doing what?” Kevin asked, not looking at him.
“Get lost. In whatever it is that’s going on in there.”
Kevin didn’t respond.
“I know you’ve been through shit. I don’t know what that shit is exactly, but I’ve seen you face your demons. What’s holding you back now?”
Kevin had faced Riko. In the end, he’d won. But had he really?
“I’m tired.”
Was it the adrenaline from today’s excitement or the exhaustion itself that made Kevin say that? He wasn’t sure. All he knew was that he was tired of carrying this weight. Riko’s ghost, memories from the Nest, guilt, his mother’s legacy, people’s expectations.
Was Kevin a person or was he a figure? A shadow of his mother’s decisions, an echo of her life? Someone that people looked up to who wasn’t even real.
Eric’s expression softened, but Kevin didn’t want his pity.
“I understand. I didn’t use to, but now I see it.”
Kevin attention was drawn by his words so he finally turned to look at him.
“You are too hard on yourself. You are cold and harsh with others, but only because you are so used to having high expectations from yourself, that you can’t help doing the same with everyone else.”
Kevin didn’t respond.
He wondered how he was so transparent when it came to Eric.
“And you?” He finally said. Eric raised an eyebrow, waiting for further explanation.
“Me?”
“Yes. You. You always have something to say, you are so calm and so fucking confident. What’s the catch?”
Eric hesitated and then shrugged.
“We all have our own weights. The question is whether you’ll allow someone to help you carry them. I have friends. A family who supports me. They help me through it. Who do you have?”
Kevin scoffed.
“You and your wise sayings,” he muttered. He would have looked away but Eric didn’t let him. He held onto Kevin’s chin and made him keep his gaze on him.
“If I am to pretend to be your boyfriend, I ought to understand you, don’t you think?” He asked.
Kevin had nowhere else to stare at but at Eric.
Eric noticed then, that Kevin had small tiny freckles sprawled all over his cheeks. They were tiny and almost invisible, but they were there.
“I suppose you are right.” Kevin said.
The thought of Eric ‘understanding’ him, terrified Kevin, though he didn’t show it. Opening up to someone, letting everything out. He’d never done it before. With anyone.
Their faces were dangerously close.
Kevin wasn’t sure why he didn’t pull away.
“You know, to sell the lie, we will probably have to kiss in public,” Eric’s voice was now a whisper.
Kevin froze at that moment, but all it took for him to relax was a brush of Eric’s thumb across his skin.
“We need practice. You know, so that it won’t shock you when we finally have to do it.”
It was a stupid excuse, but both of them used it to appease to their doubts and self-instilled restrictions, worries and no’s.
“Yes. You are probably right.”
Practice. This was a game. Nothing more.
And yet, as Eric pressed his lips against Kevin’s, Kevin felt a rush feeling of excitement, similar to scoring on court, his heart pounding.
His eyes closed and he leaned closer. Even kissing was like a banter, a competition between them. They enjoyed riling each other up, drawing reactions out of the other, pushing each other to their limits.
It became frantic, rough. Kevin’s hands gripped Eric’s shoulders and Eric’s hands went to his waist. They pulled each other closer and only pulled away when they had to catch their breath.
Kevin let go and panted slightly. Eric was the one who put distance between them and they remained silent for a moment.
It wasn’t awkward. But it was clear both of them had a lot to think about, for different reasons.
“Perhaps we need more practice,” Kevin muttered. Doubts and denial would come later. At the moment, Kevin was too focused on Eric, as the goaltender leaned in again and stole his breath away.
#kevin day x oc#kevin day#all for the game#aftg headcanons#aftg au#aftg oc#aftg#OC: Jiang Eric#andrew minyard#neil josten#andreil#the foxhole court#aaron minyard#the raven king#the kings men#allison reynolds#renee walker#matt boyd#dan wilds#jean moreau#jeremy knox#jerejean
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Hi, love your blog! Could you do some soft Jeremy teaching Kevin positive touching hcs? thank youuuuu
thank you!! keremy hcs coming right up!
before leaving the nest, kevin was not used to touch that wasn’t meant to hurt
he knows that before he was surrendered to evermore, he had his mom and she loved him a lot
but it was so long ago that it was hard to even remember her smile, her voice, the way she laughed when kevin toppled over with a too-large exy stick. when she hugged him or kissed his forehead or pushed back his hair and told him she loved him were little more than the memory of a sensation. more fabricated, his mind filling in the blanks, than anything real
jeremy has grown up surrounded by love
he was close to his siblings, with regular rough housing and horsing around. his dad was a hugger and his mom would pull jeremy onto her lap and read him stories out of books
the first time jeremy touches kevin is after the ravens had completely annihilated the trojans during semi-finals, booting them out of the game for the season
it‘s jeremy’s first year as captain, and he is proud of how his team did and how hard they worked this season
the teams line up and shake hands going down the line, and when kevin shakes jeremy’s, he grips his hand tight and shoots him a quick smile
it’s different than his media smile, fierce and triumphant, all polished and ready for the cameras
this one is smaller, maybe a bit shy and awkward, like he doesn’t quite know how to configure his mouth into the right shape
“your team played well,” he says. and then he is gone
it‘s like that for awhile. quick handshakes and firm pats on the shoulder after each game. not much more, but kevin enjoys it all the same
(if kevin began to look forward to these small interactions, no one had to know)
it isn’t until the winter banquet during kevin’s third year do the touches progress.
he’s been with the foxes for almost a year now and he’s settled in and perhaps they aren’t as bad as they were last year
but andrew is gone, the ravens are here, and kevin is terrified
neil just caused a scene and kevin needs to get out of there
abby has a bottle of vodka waiting in her travel kit, but before kevin can find her, he’s intercepted by jeremy
a warm hand on his shoulder, a soft smile
“are you alright?” he asks, as if kevin were the one to get into a verbal smack down with riko moriyama. as if kevin were the one who will get hurt because of it
kevin nods, but jeremy just looks so concerned for him, so he lets jeremy lead him to the edge of the court
he still has his hand on kevin’s arm, gentle and warm, and that damn look in his brown eyes makes something in kevin shutter open
“i need to get out of here,” he says honestly.
he expects jeremy to leave him, to go back to the dance floor with his friends and teammates, but jeremy gently takes his hand — his left one, kevin notices — and directs him to the locker room
the music is loud enough that kevin can still hear it, but it’s muffled and distant
jeremy helps kevin to a metal bench and kevin sits, holding his head in his hands
jeremy is rubbing his back in soothing circles and kevin starts to feel himself calm down
jeremy is warm, jeremy is kind, and jeremy is the only one to touch him with something like concern, something like care, for a very long time
“better?” jeremy asks
“yes,” kevin replies as he straightens
it’s then that kevin realizes that he’s alone with jeremy for the first time ever. he doesn’t know how to feel about it
they sit for awhile, and then the music changes from some pop song to a slower beat, a lulling drag that couples are supposed to sway to
kevin wrinkles his nose but jeremy watches the door wistfully
“you can go back out, you know,” kevin says. “you don’t have to babysit me.”
jeremy just smiles at him. “i wouldn’t leave you alone in here.”
“i’ll be fine,” kevin tries to say, but jeremy shakes his head and stands up
he extends his hand out to kevin. “dance with me?” he asks and kevin stares at him, wide eyed and mouth moving wordlessly
“you don’t have to,” jeremy assures him
“i want to,” kevin says quickly. “i just don’t know how.”
“i’ll show you.”
jeremy pulls him up and stands toe to toe with him
“you just,” he says, placing kevin’s hands on each of his hips and splaying his fingers over kevin’s shoulders, “follow my lead.”
jeremy begins to move to the beat of the music and kevin clumsily follows
he’s several inches shorter than kevin, the top of his head barely reaching kevin’s nose, and kevin keeps stepping on jeremy’s feet
but jeremy is patient and kind and kevin finds himself liking it
he wants jeremy to keep touching him, soft touches on his shoulders and his sides, the simple graze of jeremy’s fingers as he pushes back a lock of kevin’s hair from his face
and he wants to keep touching jeremy. he wants to keep dancing with him, swaying side to side on their feet and turning in circles until kevin feels dizzy
most of all kevin likes the way jeremy looks at him like no one has looked at kevin before. kevin’s heart perhaps beats a bit faster than it should because of it
the song ends and another begins and kevin and jeremy stay in the locker room, holding each other and swaying, until a loud bang of the door crashing open startles kevin into pulling away
nicky is frantic as he looks around the room and spots them
kevin stands three feet away from jeremy, his face blazing and his body already missing jeremy’s warmth
“kevin, thank god,” nicky says. “neil punched riko and…” nicky looks at jeremy, “something else happened. we’re leaving.”
nicky pulls kevin away, but not before kevin gets one last glance at jeremy standing alone in the locker room
they don’t get a chance to be alone again until that summer
riko is dead and kevin is free. jean has transferred to the trojans and is struggling through his first few practices with them
so kevin decides to give them a visit
the first few days is spent practicing. kevin joins them and gives a few pointers, but mostly he stays on the sidelines with the coaches and keeps an eye on jean
it’s not until jeremy invites kevin to his dorm for dinner are they once again alone
it’s well past bedtime and jean is fast asleep, tucked up in his bed in the bedroom
jeremy and kevin have matching glasses of sparkling cider as they chat and catch up
it’s non-alcoholic, but kevin still feels drunk on jeremy’s words, the way jeremy watches him when he thinks kevin isn’t paying attention, and the small all-too-casual touches on his shoulders and arm, fingers brushing when they both make a grab for the cider
the cider runs out at midnight and kevin thinks he ought to get going
his plane leaves tomorrow and then practice starts, he simply has run out of time
but he is hard-pressed to leave, and jeremy seems just as hesitant
“you have my number,” jeremy says when kevin starts to get up. “we should talk more. maybe meet up sometime.”
“that sounds great,” kevin says. he has no idea when they’ll find the time to meet up, since they’re on opposite sides of the country, but he wants to make it work
“hey kevin—” jeremy says. kevin turns and jeremy is looking at the floor. “i really like hanging out with you. i like you. a lot.”
kevin’s breath catches. when he doesn’t say anything, jeremy glances up at him
their gazes catch and kevin realizes how close they are. an inch or two apart, maybe, yet he can’t find it in himself to take a step back
“i like you too,” kevin mumbles. “i feel like the best me around you.”
jeremy smiles and kevin catches himself watching the movement
they lean in at the same time, and then jeremy’s soft lips are pressed to kevin’s and kevin thinks that this may be the best kiss he’s ever had
it’s a simple kiss, short and sweet, but kevin’s mind is spinning when he pulls away
“i liked that,” kevin says and jeremy’s eyes crinkle with happiness
“me too,” jeremy replies and gives him another quick peck on the cheek before promising to call and sending kevin on his way
in a daze, kevin thinks that he very much likes kissing jeremy knox
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I👏🏻need👏🏻to👏🏻know👏🏻more👏🏻about 👏🏻my👏🏻girls👏🏻
This wasn't specific so I'll just do random things
Erin loves Twenty one Pilots. Some of the songs appear to be very upbeat until you take a look at the lyrics. It matched the manic energy she had when medicated so she was really into it then. She wouldn't ever listen to it sober bc she hated her drugs. Ania loves ToP's song Screen bc it reminds her of her and Erin. It's a slow path to recovery but Erin slowly falls back in love with them, mostly bc Ania and Aaron like them.
Ania had a walkman that she carried with her while on the run. It was her mother's until Mary gave it to her. Mary doesn't know that Ania still has it. If she did, she would have burned it. Ania only has one tape for the recorder. She doesn't know it but it's a mixtape Nathan gave Mary for Ania. He knew he wouldn't be there to witness her birth so he made her a mixtape. He's so stupid. How tf was a baby supposed to listen to a mixtape? Regardless, it's a thing. Ania doesn't ever find out but she treasures the walkman and single tape for the rest of her life.
Kayleigh Day had fiery red hair and blue blue eyes. Sometimes a sleep-deprived Kevin will accidentally call Ania mom.
Wymack was born and raised in Baltimore. He went to school with Nathan and they had a few classes together. Nathan was the head of the local gang. In exchange for letting Wymack crash at his place when his parents got too heavy-handed, Wymack would run drugs for Nathan. When Ania comes back from Evermore, the first thing Wymack thinks of is Nathan. He doesn't realize that he's literally standing in front of Nathan's daughter.
I've mentioned this before but Ania was the first baby Wymack ever held. She had icy blue eyes even then. Wymack thinks about baby Nathania whenever he sees Ania. Again he doesn't realize that they're the same person.
As a baby, Ania didn't laugh or coo or babble. She just kinda sat there. The only people she seemed to like were Kevin and Wymack. She liked to hold their hands and she'd babble softly to them. They'd nod and interject sometimes as if it were a real conversation.
Before Ania could walk, Riko used to push her around in a stroller and pretend she was a doll. She used to brush her hair and help Mary dress her.
Tilda hated Aaron because when she'd come to get one of the twins back, she had asked for Erin. At birth, the twins were indistinguishable. She was too hopped up on pain meds to realize the mistake until Erin had been shipped into foster care.
Erin had a space phase and Aaron had a marine bio phase. Erin can name every constellation in the night sky. You can point to any fish and Aaron tell you it's age and species.
Erin used to love the beach until Drake started taking her. She used to be able to surf too.
Erin is afraid of the dark for similar reasons.
Ania has broken every bone in her body at least once. The only exception is her skull.
The only bone Erin has ever broken in a non-exy related injury or the car accident that killed her mother was her skull. She used to skateboard back in Cali and cracked her skull open trying to grind down a handrail.
When Erin was less than a year old, her foster parent left the door to the apartment open. She crawled out and fell down the concrete stairs, hitting her head two or three times before they realized she was gone. This actually happened to my little brother. He's fine tho.
Ania's hands are covered in calluses from a lot of things, mostly holding knives by the blade. Erin likes holding her hands anyway.
Ania likes to kiss Erin's self-harm scars.
They get matching key tattoos on the area below their thumb.
During Christmas at Evermore Riko carved her name onto Ania's back. Ania gets it covered with a really big tattoo, Ronan Lynch style. It's a bunch of symbols from her life meshed together and it's full of Erin's favorite flowers. Ania had wanted a full-color tattoo but black covered the scars up better.
Every year for Christmas, Erin and Ania spend most of the day in bed. They don't have sex, they just lay there holding each other bc Ania never fully lives down the horror of Christmas at Evermore and Erin is too afraid of hurting her to push it. It becomes a soft holiday for them. It works out well for them when they move up to New York for a while since they’re usually snowed in anyways.
Ania tutors Aaron in math. She's impatient and math isn't his strong suit so they usually end up fighting. However, he does much better on tests that he studies for with her than without.
Both twins cry when frustrated. Erin sees Aaron crying while cramming for midterms so she grabs her stuff and drops it onto the desk beside him. They stay up studying together. It makes them feel less lonely.
The twins' handwriting is barely legible. Their notes look like literal chicken scratch but their handwritings are identical. Erin handwrites flashcards for all of Aaron's tests and just leaves them on his desk. At first, he thinks that he wrote them himself and just blacked out right after. He doesn't realize that it's Erin writing them until he comes home from a date with Katelyn to see her dropping a stack of flashcards on his desk.
Erin writes her notes right to left and backwards. She does this bc so one can read it and they never borrow her notes.
Ania's notes look like they belong on a studyblr.
Ania gets her doctorate in mathematics. Aaron is salty but he still shows up to see her get it. He shoves a wrapped package at her and stalks off. It's a doctor's coat bc he's a cheesy s.o.b. Ania wears it around the house. Erin tells her she looks like an idiot and she needs to take it off rn. Ania just looks at her like 👀👀👀. Erin's ears are burning bc that is not what she meant. She's not opposed to Ania's implicit suggestion.
Speaking of Aaron giving Ania presents, he notices that Ania likes the VCSO girl aesthetic. Specifically, the little shell necklaces. He buys her one for her birthday every year. She wears it every day until she gets a new one. The old ones are kept in a box in her bathroom. She takes them out whenever she's feeling down bc each one holds very specific memories.
Before Nicky leaves, Erin starts spending a lot of time with him. She hugs him super tight at the airport and he nearly misses his flight bc she won't let go.
Erin and Ania visit Wymack and Abby every year. One time Wymack is scolding Erin for something and she waves it off saying, "Whatever, Dad." The house goes silent. "That didn't happen," she snarls as she stomps off.
Erin and Erik like to get their nails done together. No, Erin doesn't get full sets. No, I will not elaborate.
Erin gives the best hugs. Homegirl's got arms like tree trunks. Matt and Ania are the only people who know for a long long time. Eventually, Erin gets comfortable enough to hug Aaron. He nearly dies every time bc it's just so nice. It makes him feel so safe.
Jeremy, Thea, and Erin will ditch their ravens to practice together and go out on self-care days. They go out to dinner/movies/spas. Bc the three of them live in different parts of the country, they Skype while watching shows so that they can all watch together.
Jeanie and Jeremy adopt 3 kids. All of them like Aunt Erin best.
Most of the Foxs' kids like Erin and Ania the best.
Erin and Ania have their wedding at the Foxhole Court. Aaron walks Erin down the aisle and Kevin walks Ania. They go dress shopping separately but they still end up with the same dress bc they're magic.
Y’all can totally keep asking about the girls, but I’d appreciate it if y’all could be more specific. It’ll help me a ton.
#just a pipe dream#fem!andreil#erin minyard#ania josten#the foxhole court au#the foxhole court#the foxes#all for the game#all for the game au#all for the gay#tfc au#tfc hc#tfc#aftg au#aftg hc#aftg#aaron minyard hc#aaron micheal minyard#aaron minyard#wholesome twinyards#twinyards hc#twinyards#david wymack#coach wymack#kevin day hc#kevin day#jeremy knox#thea muldani day#thea muldani#reveal to me your deepest desires
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best fics of 2018?
This is so subjective so some of our staff are gonna put our 2018 favs here below!!
Cassy
This is my favorite fic ever and the author just started updating it again so im in tears all the time
i’m here right now (just be here right now with me) by Talls (M | 27,606 | 3/7)
Neil first meets Andrew with a racquet to the stomach in a locker room when he’s eighteen. Andrew first meets Neil with a hushed conversation on a beach in California when he’s five. They still manage to meet on rooftops, fall in love, find family, and heal together, just not quite at the same time and definitely not in the same order.
(In other words, Andrew is the Time Traveler’s wife.)
This fic is so soft and pretty
Translation Errors by SensationalSunburst (Not rated | 3,127 | 1/1)
“Andrew doesn’t love me,” Neil said simply, “So if he has a love language, I don’t know it.”“Oh, honey.” Allison drawled, “You don’t actually believe him when he says he hates you, do you?”
Lucky by sunrise_and_death (T | 4,328 | 1/1)
At thirteen, he’d lived in eleven different cities, gone by as many different names, and seen his reaper twenty-eight times. Some people would have called him lucky.
Live Once More (This Time Will Be Better) bypurpleeyesandbowties (T | 2,457 | 1/1)
Very carefully so as to not wake his roommates presumably sleeping off a night of regrettable choices, Andrew pulled a notebook towards him and opened to a fresh page to make a list. Two lists, actually. Changes to make and things to keep the same. Thankfully, it didn’t take long to sort out what was important.
To change:get off pillsno Kathy no Seth dying (Neil was upset)no Thanksgivingno winter at Evermoreno Baltimorekill Riko soonerkill Nathan myself
Keep the same:get Neil to the Foxes
Maz:
changing tides - titanic au by missbolton (M | Incomplete | 4/5)
When Nathaniel Hartford boards the RMS Titanic, it is a death sentence. He will be shipped to New York with his brutal father and his soon-to-be wife, Lola. There’s no escape.
Until he meets third-class artist Andrew Minyard.
if you’re lost you can look (and you will find me) by paleromantic (T | Incomplete | 5/?)
Neil Josten jerked awake, his cigarette falling from his fingers as he did. The frigid air bit at his arms, his neck, his face, but he didn’t notice, too busy looking around.
“What the fuck.”
or
Neil and Andrew wake up back in Millport, and get the chance to start over.
I’m Just Killing Time by thesaroscycle (T | 10,666 | 1/1)
He was sat in the most comfortable armchair in the back, the book in his lap closed but well-worn and dog-eared, one of the things that annoyed Bee to no end. His glasses sat on the table next to him, along with the hot chocolate Bee had made earlier in the morning that had gone cold. He stared out the window into a cloudless blue sky, squinting at the late morning sun and blurry trees. It was getting warm enough outside for the frost to melt on the grass, and late enough for people to start coming in. He couldn’t wish more for fall, when the sky would be gray and the chill would last all day rather than just early morning. Everything seemed to be holding its breath for the coming summer, for longer days and warmer mornings. Andrew couldn’t be less excited for summer; of all their town’s 70-degree-high summers, it was still hot enough for Andrew to melt in his stubbornly consistent black wardrobe.
Paper Skies by exybee (T | 4,662 | 1/1)
Andrew’s a quiet librarian who treats his library much like how he treats his person. He spends his time searching for the color blue in hopes of finding something real, but when he meets Neil Josten, he finds that maybe blue isn’t the only thing out there.
Or, Neil’s a kaleidoscope of colors, and Andrew gets a lesson in self-care.
Atlas:
Honey, we should run away by allyasavedtheday ( T | 8,836 | 1/1)
“We’re moving on soon,” his mom says casually as she’s plating up their food. As if it’s an inconsequential detail and not something that rocks Neil to his core.
“Why?” he asks, keeping his voice calm and measured like she taught him to do if he was ever taken.
“We’ve been here too long,” she says like it’s obvious, setting down a plate of pasta in front of him.
“It’s only been ten weeks,” he can’t help pointing out. Ten weeks with Andrew. Ten weeks that aren’t enough.
“That’s over two months,” she retorts, neatly spearing a piece of pasta with her fork. “Two more weeks and we’re leaving. Just as soon as I have everything organised.”
*
Andrew and Neil meet when Neil is on the run with his mother.
Show Me How You by smokesprite ( Not Rated | 6,825 | 1/1 )
“They thought they would stop the show; they thought they could cut the act, but Neil had been sulking around too long now to not know where all the necessary equipment was. He was a ghost, and he would do the ghost dance, goddammit.”
Neil is a ghost with a house to haunt, but the Moxie Foxy Burlesque Troupe refuses to be chased off. If you can’t beat em…join em.
Aaron:
stay as long as you need by lolainslackss (T | 2,955 | 1/1)
The soulmate timer counts down to your soulmate’s death. Apparently, Andrew’s soulmate doesn’t have long to live.
Oh, Catastrophe by TheKingIsDead (witch_lit) (T | 1,447 | 1/1)
Aaron and Katelyn are at a concert and Aaron can’t shake the feeling that the drummer is familiar.
it’s a long way down byionlyloveyouironically (T | 6,506 | 1/1)
The sound of rushing water, the moon overhead, bare feet on a muddy riverbank, and a weeping woman reaching a dead hand out.
Scout
A Mewment Like This by fuzzballsheltiepants (T | Incomplete | 9 Works)
tenuous by undertow (cendal) (M | 7,431 | 1/1)
Neil Josten is trying to learn to be a normal person. He has an apartment and a cat. He goes to therapy every Wednesday. He has friends and attends their study group regularly. He eats lunch with his best friend’s brother.The hardest part is letting people in, but he thinks that one day he’ll get there.Series: Part 1 of all of me wants all of you
The Continuing Adventures of the Nine-Nine by gluupor (G | Complete | 10 Works)
A series of short, ridiculous, mostly plotless stories featuring the Foxes as the cops of the Ninety-Ninth Precinct.
Back to the Start by fuzzballsheltiepants (T | 29,277 | 11/11)
Andrew has been on his pro team for 6 months when he takes a ball to the head. Neil flies to Boston to see him - only to find that Andrew doesn’t remember him.
Rachel
Funky Happenings with the Fox Family by dobbypussypopper (Not Rated | Incomplete | 17/?)
naughtygayweedcrime: did I rlly just see neil say woke
naughtygayweedcrime: what a surreal timeline we live in
dumbfool: allison is trying to teach me how to meme so I can get hip
naughtygayweedcrime: bless your poor soul
davidwymack: sometimes I regret living
davidwymack has muted exyllent, damnwilds, + 7 others for 30 minutes
The Real Folk Blues by moonix, nefelibata (E | 42,365 | 4/4)
Captain David Wymack and the bounty hunter crew of the Bebop spaceship might be a little out of their depths chasing down the infamous hacker and notorious runaway Neil Wesninski, whose bounty exceeds even Kevin’s wildest dreams. Worst of all, Andrew might actually enjoy it.
/Graphic Depictions of Violence
a world alone by ephemeralsky (T | 54,850 | 6/6)
“It will not be cheap,” Andrew finally says.
“I know,” Wymack says. “Two bottles of Johnnie Walker sound good to you?”
“Four,” Andrew says without missing a beat. He thinks about having to deal with Nicky later on, about the additional work he has to do, and decides that he will not do anything for less.
“Three,” Wymack argues.
“Four or we have no deal.”
Wymack mutters something about blood-sucking hooligans under his breath before he concedes with a, “Fine.”
(or: a High School AU where only some of them are high-schoolers)
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Exploring the abyss
S p o i l e r s - Go watch the anime and read the manga. This part assumes you have done so. Else spoilers.
Made in Abyss is brilliant. That is the only way I can think of, to start this (whatever this is).
The world here is so deep, so ethereal, and the characters really are one with it all. Here, I'm mainly going to talk about those elements of the world and the characters. No plot, only the thoughts these elements invoke.
Hagimemashou!
The Abyss
The Abyss will come up repeatedly because it is the centre of the story, literally. Still, I want to give a sort of introduction on it.
The abyss is a deep chasm that seems to go on forever. To delve into the abyss is a dangerous task and it does have little mysterious effects on the people around it. Even so, many humans settled around the abyss and made a sort of village. The world is obviously different from what is intuitive to us, and I'm talking about the characters now, but it hardly takes any time to connect with them.
Anyway, back to the abyss. If I were to compare the abyss with something in the real world, I'd say it's space (though I prefer saying everything beyond Earth). Obviously, space is much more dangerous and enigmatic, but the abyss is something where you can easily go and do not need rockets and such advanced equipment and thus, it piques more interest for people to go in there themselves, despite knowing the dangers of it. The deeper you delve in... nothing will happen. But once you begin to ascend you face horrible consequences (from a simple headache to nausea to bleeding from your eyes) and yet people go there, searching and searching and searching. Everything, for the mere sake of curiosity.
It is later that we know that there is a force field responsible for the effects, though there are no known counter-measures. And still they keep delving in. Riko is looking for her mother but she is fascinated by the abyss. Reg's origins lie somewhere in the abyss and he feels his sole duty is to protect Riko. They dive and they suffer so much and thus you suffer, because you're attached to them
I'm changing topics so much. Maybe I shouldn't talk about the abyss. But in short, the abyss is this ethereal, enigmatic and crazy place with its own ecosystem... yeah let's go into that.
The creatures in the abyss
These are known as predators. These alien creatures that hold such a frightening aura around themselves. However, they are a part of the abyss. It is their habitat and humans are diving into it. Uninvited guests. Let's go eat them, why not.
These creatures are all quite majestic (they are designed very thoughtfully and go so well with the abyss). The true danger of the abyss is the abyss itself, but these creatures cause one to be at caution at every step. That is why what Ozen did was justified, however harsh it may be (not that I like it).
But anyway, they have their own ecosystem and live by their own instincts and perhaps have something similar to 'the survival of the fittest'. Not only that, the danger each creature poses is so different and so dark, I suppose.
The more dangerous these creatures, the less in number they are (again, ecosystem). But going back to the point I'm beating around... they are creatures of the abyss. That means they understand the abyss better than anyone else and the deeper they go, the more the know. It's the same for us humans, we do form a connection with nature on the fundamental level (we are a part of nature). However those creatures aren't intelligent; they simply survive. Looking for preys, living by themselves, just going on but living indeed. Then there are us humans who are so curious about everything (because of our 'intelligence'), we delve deeper and deeper into their habitat. For example, the orb piercer understands the force field around it (even though it's only at the 4th level) and yes it has its weakness, but in its habitat other than a few white whistlers, no one can defeat it. The white whistlers are those humans with the most determination and perhaps the most curious minds (in regards to the abyss). This makes me wonder, what is intelligence? Is it really something that helps for survival? Is it the impulse behind curiosity and learning? Is it just, thoughts? Is it really what makes us more advanced than animals if it say, dulls our instincts (like the survival of danger instinct)? Is it mean to find the true meaning of life? Even though humans are a puny part of the universe? Is it just something to acquire knowledge, and knowledge and wisdom is the true aim of living beings? When the first humans came, the Earth was as abstruse as the abyss is. Perhaps then, with the abyss being a part of the Earth, something of the humans originate from there? Some sort of connection resulting in that abundant curiosity?
And just what is intelligence?
Let's get psychological
Whom should I start with... obviously Ozen. The mentor of Lyza, the one who will probably help Riko and Reg. And she does help them in a way that is best for the situation of the abyss, even if it's not morally good.
Every driver began because of their curiosity (mostly). These intense delvers like Ozen were obsessed with the abyss's mysteries, not caring for their body for even the slightest second as they went in deeper and deeper. She is also known for her immeasurable strength (Ozen the immovable) and how she developed an intuition for the abyss. She's been alive for so long but it's impossible to tell what her age is, and she now lives in the abyss as she studies it.
Anyway, let's talk about the Curse-Warding box and Riko. She was a stillborn when she was put in the box and was thought to be dead. However that box (most probably) caused her to move and Ozen even confirmed this by experimenting on a 'monster'. Essentially, Riko is a child of the abyss. It is in her instincts to reach the bottom of the abyss and has also inherited her mother's curiosity of the abyss.
Ozen tests this child and her companion just as she tests everyone - creepy face and scary time. She attempted to even convince Lyza to not go delving, but her stubborn nature was the first think Ozen liked about her.
Ozen's creepy face (manga)
Even though she is mostly testing them to understand if they are capable are not, spending so much time in and with the abyss causes her to find it amusing. She's conducting sorts of psychological experiments on children (Riko, Reg, Lyza, Marulk) as she explores the abyss.
Now, let's get to Bondrewd.
This guy did anything to obtain funds for his research into the Abyss, selling drugs made through human experiments on the black market, selling artefacts and relics illegally, and many other questionable acts. Some time ago he managed to steal the special-grade artefact the and used it to spread his consciousness on multiple bodies, creating the Umbra Hands (Bondrewd's group of delvers). When he became a White Whistle, he used his original body as the material for the Life Reverberating Stone necessary to make the whistle, becoming his very own whistle himself. Since then, Bondrewd became nothing but a soul moving between bodies with the use of the Zoaholic. (yes is copied from wikia. Yes I'm lazy).
The guy began to test the effects of the abyss and what not on children, completely abandoned his morality and soul and gave in to his curiosity by conducting literal vicious experiments. He even transformed his adoptive daughter, Prushka, into a cartridge for his soul transfer thing (though her sense of adventure let her go with Riko and the others.)
Bondrewd definitely conducted successful experiments, but they were horrible. So many children survived the 6th layer's curse and the became a narehate (or 'hollow') (I'll talk about the narehates later).
Now the thing about all of this is that Bondrewd and Ozen are white-whistlers. They are respected deeply by the people on the surface. They are respected for their research, but these are the people who are ready to dispose of their bodies, suffer trauma, make others suffer trauma, destroy souls and consciousness for the sake of 'knowledge'. How are they better than the creatures of the abyss who aren't intelligent and have knowledge, but are even less 'monstrous'? What good is such knowledge?
In these kinds of themes the anime gets dark, not the 'gory' scenes. If a person really thinks aout it seriously, the themes in the story can make you question yourself. What physical body, what physical existence? What mind and what instincts? What is the essence, the need?
Narehate - 'nare no hate' - 'the shadow of one's former self'
There's a lot of things to say here but I'll address (what I think are) the main points. We've got two types of narehates known - the ones from Idofront (Bondrewd's experiment) and the ones in the Ilblu village.
Mitty is a narehate from Idofront. As seen from Riko's perspective, her soul was trapped in the narehate body. She could feel but she couldn't express. She was alive, but couldn't live and couldn't die (she's even 'resurrected' by Bondrewd. That guy...). She was one of the children who wanted to really explore the abyss but became a shadow of her former self. Suffering for eternity.
This sort of tells us how important expression is. Keeping your thoughts and emotions buried inside will begin to destroy your humanity. You want death but you cannot die and you shouldn't die, waiting for the right time. The abyss basically dulled all senses and created a soul within an empty mind that somehow still felt, but could probably not really register anything. Existing like that is a scary notion.
The narehates at Ilblu are very diverse, with some even being intelligent. Once they become a part of it they cannot leave the village. They have this value system where if they want something they have to trade it with something of 'equal' value, and the values of things aren't necessarily predefined but mostly vary from person to person. It is clearly shown that the value of a human anything is very large as well as immortality (Mitty, here), and it shows how much these narehates desire humanity, how much they wish to return to their former self. It makes sense, of course, but what's really interesting is that we see the same behaviour in the 'non-intelligent' species. Perhaps their human instincts remain and similarly, because Riko is a child of the abyss (my assumption), her connection with the abyss and those instincts remain. Really, everything in this world is connected.
The last thing: The Three Sages (who created Ilblu). We do not know much about the, as they came during the ending of the manga, but they are now narehates and they are crazy, honestly. They used to be together, had this sort of bond as they searched the abyss but now they have lost absolute humanity. All that remains is the whole thing with value, (like when Belafu buys Mitty from Bondrewd and Nanachi sells herself to buy Mitty, but now Belafu has both Mitty and Nanachi). These three sages only come out when the village is in absolute danger and it's kind of sad to see them not care about much after seeing them in Vueko's flashbacks (ahh Vueko).
The concept surrounding value really makes you think what is valuable and what isn't, and in the end you realise two things - value depends from person to person and they all really don't matter to the universe, but nevertheless it matters so deeply to each individual. How does anything matter? It matters to us personally, and that is enough. But it is important to understand the essence of these values because we often might be wasting our time or are desperate about something we love, like when Nanachi sold herself even when there probably was a better solution.
That's it for now. When the manga update comes I'll probably talk (talk? More like rant) about the cradle of greed.
TL;DR: Made in abyss is brilliant.
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In the Ocean’s Arms
Rating: K
Word Count: 4185
Summary: With less than a year to go before she heads off to university, Hanamaru has a conflict in her head. She wants to leave her tiny hometown and explore more, but at the same time she doesn't want to leave someone she really cares about behind.
Pairing: KanaMaru
Notes: Happy birthday, @birthday-gate-to-love! Have a great one! o7 o7 o7
Links: (FFN) | (AO3)
Uchiura was so boring. Hanamaru had felt that way for years, but she'd never told anybody. Not even Ruby knew that she felt constrained within the invisible barriers that kept her within their small town. For as long as she could remember, she'd read tons of fantastical stories about faraway places, both real and fictional. She'd read about the best and worst of mankind, and all of the incredible sights there were in their great, big world. None of them were here, though. She'd never read anything exciting about Uchiura outside of a tourist pamphlet that tried a bit too hard to seem relaxing.
She sighed as she swept the floor of her parents' temple, not feeling as into the work as she usually was. There had actually been a year when their tiny town seemed more exciting than it actually was. It was her first year of high school, when she joined her best friend Ruby and seven others to form the idol group Aqours. No matter how high or how low they had gone, it had been something new that she'd gotten to experience with friends. Though she had been very reluctant to join at first, she hadn't had any regrets after she took that plunge. It had been great, but now all of that was in the past.
She was now in her final year of high school, over a year removed from her idol days. It hadn't been a surprise when Aqours decided to disband following Dia, Kanan, and Mari's graduations, but she had still been woefully unprepared for how empty life felt without their presence. She'd only truly known Kanan and Mari for a year, but the impact they had left on her had been greater than she'd ever expected.
After graduation, Dia had gone off to a prestigious university in Tokyo, but at least that was in the same country. Mari had gone all the way to Italy, putting a ridiculous amount of hours between her and the rest of them. Not that it was done for that purpose, of course. It still didn't feel right to not have a huge ray of shiny sunshine on them whenever she was there. Her compliment was gone too: no more stern lectures or homework helping from Dia. Of course, that affected Ruby more than anyone, but Hanamaru had to admit that she still missed Dia a lot too.
That was only the opening set to the tear down of her new life, however. Another year passed, and the former second years had their turn at graduation. All three of them ended up going to university in Tokyo, though Chika and You ended up at the same one. Riko went to Dia's university, which reunited those two, though obviously at different levels. Everybody was excited and nervous to start the next part of their journeys, and there were plenty of tearful goodbyes. She wished all of them good luck each graduation, but inside she still hurt. They were all missed greatly, and worse, she felt jealous of them. While they were out exploring new horizons, Mari especially, she was still stuck in their little town, with nowhere to go and nothing to do.
She was now nearly two months into her third year, and things were just too different. Her and Ruby were still best friends, but for some reason she didn't feel comfortable telling her about how she felt. They both missed the others, of course, but as everyone left, Ruby seemed to become more open with her emotions. On the other hand, Hanamaru found herself becoming more closed off. She didn't want Ruby to have more worries on top of her ever-present familial issues. As for Yoshiko, even if she did feel like confiding in her, she was out of the running there. She'd tried too hard to push herself either towards a completely normal high school girl or a fallen angel of darkness and had a breakdown in the middle of their second year. Neither of them saw her much outside of school anymore.
There was one remaining constant in her life. One thing that stayed the same despite all of the upheaval around her. Five of her six seniors had moved on to university, but one stayed behind. If she ever went to the Matsuura diving shop, Kanan would still be there with a smile and an easygoing greeting. She always acted as if everything was the exact same, even if that was the furthest from the truth. Hanamaru didn't know how she did it. Doing that had just been plain impossible for her.
She couldn't be mad, though. Kanan being there, acting just as she had when they first met, was a godsend to her otherwise-turbulent emotions. She wished she knew the secret to Kanan's calming life, but she was mostly content to every so often go to the diving shop and spend some time with her, just to feel for a moment that everything was normal again. That didn't mean she wasn't curious about things, however.
Ever since the third years had graduated, she had wondered why Kanan hadn't gone off to university with them. She knew that Kanan's grades weren't top of the class, but had that really precluded her from at least going to the university that Chika and You were at now? It was a topic that she didn't feel comfortable bringing up with Kanan, and didn't really talk about with Ruby for fear of becoming a gossip. As far as she knew, Kanan didn't go to university so she could stay and help run the family business.
That evening, she decided to go over to see Kanan after dinner. She had texted Kanan to see if she was available, and she said she was, so after dinner Hanamaru headed out her way. There wasn't anything she really had in mind to do, but just being near Kanan was calming. They'd become better friends after the third years graduated, and now only Ruby was closer to her than Kanan was. There was something about Kanan that made her feel more peaceful than anything else, and she wished she knew why. Nothing in any of her books gave her a clue to the truth, so she just went with it and hoped the reason would become clear soon enough.
When she knocked on the door, Mr. Matsuura was the one who answered. He told her that Kanan had gone for a swim out back, and Hanamaru couldn't be surprised by that. No matter what, even if there was something important that needed to be done, it wasn't a rare occurrence to find Kanan in some body of water instead. The two excuses she usually gave for it was that she needed to clear her head or she'd just plain forgot that she had to do something. Hanamaru wasn't going to let herself be surprised by either excuse.
She thanked Mr. Matsuura and went around back, stepping onto the docks and looking for Kanan in the ocean's expanse. It didn't take long to find her doing the backstroke a short distance away. She sat down on the dock, took off her shoes and socks, and dipped her toes in the water to wait for Kanan. It felt rude to call out and interrupt her, even though she had said that she was coming over. She couldn't find it in her to be mad in any way at Kanan.
"Hanamaru, hey! Sorry about that. Just thought I'd take a swim before you got here." Kanan laughed as she pulled herself onto the dock. She had noticed Hanamaru was sitting there when she turned around for another lap, and swam over to greet her instead. Water dripped off her body and onto the wood below as she sat a comfortable distance from Hanamaru, just to make sure she didn't get the poor girl wet. "So what's up? How's school going?"
"It's just the same as always, zura. I'm enjoying my writing class, though." She couldn't help but notice the rivulets of water dripping down Kanan's body, mostly bare save for the bikini she was wearing. It always felt like Kanan was effortlessly attractive. She seemed like the type of person who just woke up and was already in full-on sexy mode. It was almost unfair in a way.
"That's great! Not too long now until you, Ruby, and Yoshiko graduate. Have you thought about what university you want to attend?" Hearing that made Hanamaru's stomach drop. Her graduation was coming up, which would throw yet another wrench into the remnants of her best year. She was admittedly excited to explore new horizons outside of Uchiura, and she had a feeling that she and Ruby would go to the same university. Yoshiko's plans for university were unknown at present, however, which left Hanamaru unsure about where she would go. Worse, she would lose the ability to just go over to see Kanan whenever she wanted.
"Yeah, I was... thinking of going to university with Ruby. It'd be farther north, zura." Saying it out loud made her feel even worse. She and Ruby had talked about going to university in Japan, but not in Tokyo with the others. Ruby had wanted to get further away from her family, and to prove that she could do things on her own, which she completely supported. She wanted to follow Ruby there, for both supportive and selfish reasons. It just didn't help that she'd started developing certain feelings for Kanan.
She could pinpoint the exact day that she'd officially fallen for Kanan. It had been New Years Eve, and she'd been feeling pretty down. They'd all gathered together to watch the fireworks, but it just wasn't the same. Dia and Mari weren't there, and neither was Yoshiko. Having six of them there felt strangely minuscule compared to the nine from the previous year. She was glad she got to spend the night with them, but she couldn't help but notice those who weren't there.
The company was nice, as were the fireworks, but it just felt... off. However, while the fireworks were nearing their end, Kanan came up to her and Ruby with sparkles in her hands. She handed one to both of them and asked if they wanted to light them with her. It was then, standing there and holding sparkles in a circle, that she'd started growing feelings for Kanan that were beyond friendship. She didn't know if Kanan had been able to tell that she'd been feeling down then, and she'd never asked, but the way she came over like that felt comforting. It was like she wanted to make sure that she wasn't feeling quite so alone.
She thought about that moment a lot in the past few months, and she thought about if she could say how she felt to Kanan. There didn't seem to be a point to doing it, unless she wanted to get herself hurt. In less than a year, she'd be going to university, farther away from the town like she wanted. That also meant farther from Kanan, though. How could she get into a relationship with someone knowing she'd go away in a short amount of time? Heck, how could she even think of that happening when she couldn't possibly imagine Kanan wanting anything to do with her relationship-wise.
"That sounds like an adventure. You and Ruby are gonna have to tell me how it is. Don't keep me out of the loop, okay?" She leaned back on her palms, staring up into the night sky. It allowed Hanamaru to look at her without as much worry of getting caught. She suspected she wasn't the only one who did that as much as possible. Having gotten to meet Kanan and You in her first year, she realized quickly that a lot of people looked their way. It was almost like a compulsion for all those boys and girls who were physically attracted to more fit girls. Now that You had moved on to Tokyo, there wasn't much eye candy left to give Kanan any competition. Before it'd just been a curiosity, but now she felt a bit jealous.
"Of course, zura! I'll call you every day if you want!" That was a bit farther than she'd meant to go. She clammed up instantly, blushing slightly at the words that slipped out of her mouth. It was true, but that didn't mean she had to say it. Kanan tilted her head to look at her, giving Hanamaru a goofy grin. Ah, but it didn't matter what kind of smile she had. It always made Hanamaru feel weak.
"I'd appreciate that, but I'm sure you'll be busy with classes. I don't mind a text or two, though. It's okay if you can't, though. I understand that being at university makes you really busy. There are times when I don't hear from Dia for a week." Now her smile was more somber-looking, and Hanamaru decided that she didn't like that smile. All of her other smiles were good, but this one seemed too sad. Kanan wasn't ever supposed to be sad.
"I'm... I'm sure she's just busy, zura. I'll text you, though, no matter what! You can count on me, zura!" She wanted to put her hand reassuringly on Kanan's shoulder, but it seemed so out of character. Kanan was always the one to do that. She was the one who would give the others a pep talk to perk them back up. It'd never been something that Hanamaru was very good at. "N-Not that you can't count on them. The others are very reliable, zura."
"Don't worry, Hanamaru. I know what you mean." She laughed, and Hanamaru felt better that the tension had lifted a bit. It still had been there, though, and she wasn't sure what to make of it. She was reminded of the underlying tension between the third years back when they'd started their idol group. After it had all been settled, Hanamaru had figured everything was normal again, and Kanan was back to being the happy, easy-going girl she'd been introduced to. She wasn't so sure now.
"Hey, Kanan?" She wanted to ask the questions she'd kept locked in her mind again. For some reason, right then felt like the proper time to do so. The words stayed stuck on her tongue, though. They were so close to being spoken, but they continued to remain unsaid. Now Kanan was looking at her, waiting for her to say something, but she was just sitting there silently like an idiot. "I..." That was all she could say. The words had died on her throat.
"You what?" Kanan tilted her head in confusion, then frowned when the silence dragged on. Hanamaru's face was growing red, and she seemed like she was about to hurl herself into the ocean. "Hey, it's okay. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." She placed a hand on Hanamaru's shoulder, for safety as much as for reassurance. Her hand was still wet, but it had dried enough that it only got Hanamaru's shirt a little moist. "It's okay."
"It's not okay, zura!" She put her hands forcefully on Kanan's knees, catching her off guard. Kanan's hand slipped off her shoulder as she stared with widening eyes. "I'm graduating in less than a year, and I'm going to be far away from here! We won't get to see each other as much as we can now, zura! How is that okay? I don't want us to drift apart! I don't want this to happen, zura!" She had started crying, but she made no move to brush away her tears. She just let them fall. "Everybody else has already left... I only have you and Ruby left, and now I'm going to lose you too..."
"Hey, don't say that." Kanan looked surprisingly lost. She automatically reached out to start wiping away Hanamaru's tears, but she seemed unsure of what to say to make everything better. So she tried speaking in simple platitudes while she reached for something else to say. "We're all going to be okay, you know? You can come down and visit from time to time, and I can come up to visit you and Ruby! That'd be nice, right?"
"It's not the same!" Hanamaru sniffled and crossed her arms, no longer wanting to be consoled, even if it was usually much appreciated. "Dia and Mari left, and then Chika and You and Riko, and Yoshiko's changed... And now it's just going to be Ruby and me, zura. I thought we all were supposed to stay together! It's not fair!" Sure, it was reality, but that didn't mean it was fair.
"I wish I could hug you right now, but I'm still a bit wet." Kanan laughed nervously, wanting to reach out but also not wanting to push herself onto someone who didn't want it. She'd already made that mistake before. "Change isn't always a bad thing, Hanamaru. I understand how you feel, and I miss our friends too. They're always so busy with their schoolwork and their new lives at university, but that's something they want to do. It doesn't mean they don't want to see us, or to be friends anymore. We're all still going to be friends, no matter what."
"Why didn't you go to university with Dia and Mari?" The question she'd been holding onto since the break between her first and second year finally spilled out. She could tell Kanan wasn't prepared for the question, and she didn't say anything at first. Hanamaru wondered if she'd say anything at all without more prompting. "Your grades were fine, right? Why didn't you go?"
"Well, it just... uh..." Kanan laughed, then sighed, leaning back on her hands again. "Yeah, my grades were okay. I wanted to help with the diving shop, but I also just... didn't want to go, I guess." She shrugged and laid down on her back, staring up at the stars. After wiping her tears away, Hanamaru laid down next to her.
"But why not? You don't want to leave Uchiura?"
"Not exactly. I'm not opposed to it, but I do like being here. Like I said, I do have a job here, and isn't that why I'd go to university anyway? And honestly, I don't even feel like I deserve to go, you know? I mean, I've messed up a lot of stuff here. Everything with Mari... She was right, you know? I shouldn't have made her do what I thought was best for her. And with Dia-" Her emotional spiel was interrupted by Hanamaru leaning over and squishing her cheeks. "Hanamaru? What are you doing?"
"I don't want to hear you say that, zura." Hanamaru let go of Kanan's cheeks, but she still gave her a very stern look. "You made a mistake, and everybody forgave you. There's no need to keep beating yourself up about it. You deserve to go to university just like everybody else, zura." This wasn't a role she was used to taking. She'd had her self-loathing phase, her country bumpkin phase, and her smug phase, but she'd never been the one to speak these words of wisdom. It was like she had taken over Kanan's role for a moment there.
"That's a pretty serious tone ya got, Hanamaru. I didn't expect that." She sighed and shook her head, keeping her eyes on Hanamaru. "I appreciate it, but I've made my life here now. Besides, I'd be too old to start university, don't you think?" Instead of responding verbally, Hanamaru huffed and wrapped Kanan up in an awkwardly posed but meaningful hug. "Okay, you don't think that. Hanamaru, I'm wet. You're going to get your clothes wet too."
"Don't care, zura." Hanamaru refused to let go, even if the awkward way she was hugging was making her elbows sore. Sure, her clothes were getting wet, but she could dry them. She just couldn't lay there and do nothing while Kanan talked down about herself. It just wasn't right! "It doesn't matter that you're older. You... You could start university with Ruby and me, zura! We could all room together, and we wouldn't let anyone make fun of you!" Kanan started to laugh, finally reciprocating Hanamaru's hug. "What? I'm serious, zura!"
"I know, I know. I just didn't expect that. It's cute." Hanamaru puffed out her cheeks, looking like an angry hamster. "You're sweet to suggest that, though. Maybe I need to think about it." She sat up, still hugging Hanamaru. "I'd need to talk to my dad, though. I dunno what he'll do without me around to help in the shop."
"Then I'll help too! I'll come argue for you, zura, and I can come back on weekends and help out at the shop."
"You don't have to do that, I promise." Kanan shook her head and laughed, laying her head on Hanamaru's shoulder and hugging her tighter. "We'll see, okay? I'll talk to my dad about it tomorrow. We'll stick together though, okay? I promise." She pulled back, her eyes sparkling with what Hanamaru could tell was the truth. There was no reason to doubt her. Not like there ever was. Kanan then took Hanamaru's hand and squeezed it, making Hanamaru blush. "It'd be you, me, and Ruby against the world, huh?"
"Y-Yeah..." She had mentioned all three of them, but with the way she was holding her hand, and the way she was looking at her, it felt like she just meant the two of them. It made Hanamaru's heart start to flutter. "You and me... and Ruby, zura." There were still more words in her throat, slowly unsticking themselves and wanting desperately to come out into the open. When had there ever been a better chance to say these things? "Uh, Kanan?"
"Mm?"
"I... I have more to say, zura." She was nervous, but she knew that she could do it now. The door was open for her to run through it and confess everything that she wanted to say. Go big or go home, as she had heard Yoshiko once say before she backflipped off of Kanan's roof. "I... I like you a lot, zura. Ever since this year began... New Years, I mean. I noticed how comfortable I feel around you, zura. You make me feel happy. Not that the others don't, but..." Kanan stopped her before she could ramble on any further.
"You mean you like me? Uh, I mean, like like me?" Kanan started to blush, lightly slapping her own cheek. "Wow, that sounded more childish than I expected. But... you know what I mean, right?" Hanamaru nodded, then nodded again to make sure Kanan knew she was saying yes to both questions. "I... I had no idea. But wow, uh, that's great! Not great that you like me, but... I mean yeah, great that you like me. That's not too self-centered, is it?" Hanamaru shook her head. "Okay good. I was worried there for a moment." Now who was rambling?
"Y-Yes, I do like like you. I like your calming nature, and your passion for the ocean, and how much you care for everyone you meet. You're incredible, and I don't want to leave and not get to see you anymore, zura." Her tears were falling anew, but it was a passionate moment. They didn't impede her ability to get her feelings out to Kanan. "If you came to university with Ruby and me, I'd... I'd like like you so, so much, zura!"
This time, Kanan's smile was wide and brimming with happiness. It was exactly that kind of smile that she loved the most. "Well, then I'll definitely talk to my dad about applying! And maybe we can, you know, date or something. We could go diving! Or maybe that's not something you'd want to do. We could go to the movies then, or is that too cliche? Well, we could-" She kept going on, but Hanamaru was content to just hug her tightly and bask in the warmth she was now feeling within her heart. This had gone from a low mood kind of day to an incredible day in mere minutes. Going on a date with Kanan. Potentially going to university with Kanan. What could be a greater adventure than that?
"Or maybe the aquarium! Or have we gone there too many times? But can you really go to an aquarium too many times? Okay, we could go to a Giants game, maybe?"
"That all sounds good, zura. As long as it's with you, I'm sure it'll be a great date." And she meant that, with every fiber of her being.
"Aw, you're such a sweetheart, Hanamaru. Aquarium it is, then! You know, it's so crazy and awesome that we have a coelacanth exhibit, considering how long we assumed them to be extinct. Makes you really consider the power within the ocean. I thought about that while diving the other weekend-"
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Signing on the Line - Ch. 3 & 4
Summary: When Neil Josten is offered a position as a starting striker for a professional Exy team, he feels like all of his dreams are coming true. He signs the contract, not caring about the strict morality clause that controls who he can and can't date in the public eye.
Then he meets Andrew Minyard, the top-ranked goalie of a rival team, and then Neil thinks he might just have to care after all.
A/N: Feautured in these chapters: photoshoots, flirting, and meeting up in fancy hotels - ooh, la, la.
Chapter 3 on AO3 | Chapter 4 on AO3 | Previous chapters here
It feels like Neil’s lit a torch, and now he has to run as fast as he can to make it to the Olympic cauldron before the flame burns out. Except he’s never fast enough, no matter how hard he tries.
He has to burn, and there’s nothing he can do about it.
He signed a contract and put his fire in the control of somebody else’s hands.
He’s just not sure if he hates it, when his fire is up against Andrew Minyard’s ice. He thinks he might like it, actually, because it’s not a lie. Right down in his core, where he keeps his love for Exy safe and untouched, he feels the twist and burn of determination to prove Andrew wrong.
Besides the media’s exaggerations and rumours, their rivalry is real.
Which is why Neil doesn’t hate it.
Which is why he doesn’t deny his manager when they book him a deal with the official NEL monthly magazine. The magazine plans to dedicate their seasonal starter issue to the Seakings and the Nighthawks.
They want Andrew and Neil on the cover.
He tells himself he says yes for two reasons: he likes the idea of Riko fuming over losing his cover model status for the first time in two years.
The other reason is split into two halves; he might’ve said yes simply for the opportunity to provoke and spite Andrew. He might’ve also said yes simply for the opportunity to see Andrew.
He tries not to think about that last half.
-
There’s a new reason for the buzz in the air, a month before the season starts. An undying energy that already has the fans flocking the streets in their aqua-silver jerseys.
All the games played in the NEL from October first to November sixteenth mean almost nothing to the Exy world. What matters is November seventeenth, when San Francisco plays against New York in the most anticipated of all rematches.
It’s all anyone can talk about, all anyone cares about, and with every pair of eyes in the Exy world on him, Neil takes the pressure they give to him and turns it into motivation.
He started this feud, he asked for the world to look at him, and he doesn’t regret it. Neil was the NCAA failure who couldn’t get a team to sign him, and when he did sign with a team, his failure status changed to Kevin Day’s sidekick.
Now Neil is simply Neil; the rookie who challenged the NEL’s top-ranked goalie.
And, in a way, that’s exactly who he is.
He practices with more grit than he did throughout his five years of college. He practices with Kevin, with his team, and sometimes by himself, at near four in the morning. Sleep is impossible when no matter what he does, the image of Andrew in the goal sticks in his head.
So he stands alone in the stadium and throws shot after shot until he can’t feel or think about anything but his pounding heart.
It churns out the oddest song, that continues to ring throughout Neil’s mind when he eventually does try to sleep.
Kevin gives him as much advice as he can, but whenever he says Andrew’s name a look of scorn is never far behind. Neil can hear the betrayal in his voice like it’s still fresh.
“Andrew only ever plays his best game when he has incentive,” Kevin tells him after night practice, the two of them in the lounge, watching clips of the Nighthawk’s latest open practice.
Neil frowns, twisting his hands up together. “. . . am I the incentive?”
Kevin answers that with a sharp look and a sharper shrug. “I don’t know, but I’ve never seen him play like this before.”
It settles heavy in Neil’s stomach, and adds a few more raucous beats to that neverending song in his head.
-
It’s nearly 6:00PM when his phone goes off, an unknown number flashing across the screen. Besides the constant phone calls from his manager and the occasional call from his coaches, his phone remains mostly silent nowadays. It strikes enough curiosity in him to answer.
“Hello?” Neil says cautiously, not wanting to give too much away to whoever’s on the other side.
“Your blood was already all over Riko’s hands. Now it’s a mess.”
“Andrew?”
It’s terrifying to hear that voice, deep and rumbling and somehow still smooth, right in his ear. It’s even more terrifying that he has no idea how Andrew could possibly be calling him right now.
“How’d you get my number?” Neil asks when Andrew says nothing to confirm it’s him.
“If that were important I’d care enough to remember,” Andrew says simply. “Moving on - Riko’s not happy about this upcoming magazine spread. Or really, he’s not happy about you. He says I need to put an end to this.”
“So Riko’s making you call?” His smile comes instantly, evident in his voice as he says, “Are you sure he doesn’t own you?”
“Riko says I have to end it. I don’t think I want to.”
“And why’s that? Are you having fun?”
Andrew says without pausing, “I like making you look incompetent.”
“But you see me as a challenge,” Neil says slowly, remembering Kevin’s words - Andrew sees Neil as incentive.
“I never said you are incompetent.”
Neil’s smile twitches into wider, bigger, brighter. Not sure what to say to that, he chews at his lip to try and tramp down his grin. “Thank you.”
“You still don’t stand a chance.”
“You wouldn’t be calling me if you thought that.”
Against his best efforts, Neil’s smile refuses to budge, even as the line falls quiet. In the background of the call on Andrew’s side, a car honks, sirens go off, a soft murmur of voices can be heard from down below. The sounds of a New York City night.
Andrew must be outside, somewhere secluded if he’s talking to Neil.
Neil thinks about finding Andrew outside in the loading docks that night of the banquet. The only other soul in that huge, huge room that needed to breathe, needed to escape the role they’ve been cast in.
It’s only fitting that their roles have woven together.
“I need to know,” Andrew says, after a comfortable moment of silence. “Are you Kevin’s clone? Or is there something else you live for outside of your contract?”
For a second, Neil’s mind splinters off into various directions, trying to figure out the path that Andrew means. He knows he can’t ask directly, or else Andrew won’t believe what he answers with, so he says what he thinks he should say.
“I don’t really know what else to live for,” Neil answers, a bit wistfully. “This is my life.”
“How sad. Let me know if that changes.”
There’s not even a chance for Neil to get a breath in; the line goes dead as soon as Andrew’s last word is said.
Neil holds his phone to his ear, then slowly lowers it, swimming in confusion. Even more confusing is the ache in his chest that he’s never felt before. It feels like the burn of a breath you take after being held down under water.
He ignores that feeling and looks at the unknown number with the New York area code. He saves it as a new contact, naming Andrew ‘03’.
He doesn’t touch his phone for the rest of the night.
-
He arrives at LAX just as the sun is rising, and he’s in a chair getting makeup put on an hour before morning practice would usually start.
The studio isn’t quiet by any means; the set decoration team is running around placing props and fixing backgrounds, the photographer is talking to the lighting department, the stylist is rolling a clothing rack back and forth across set.
It’s quiet to him though. There’s something even louder in his brain, a screaming chaos, shouting nerves that refuse to stop attacking his spine every time he looks over and sees Andrew.
Andrew is leaning back in a makeup chair, eyes closed and feet propped off the vanity in front of him. He hasn’t so much as glanced over at Neil since he arrived. Neil tells himself he doesn’t care.
It’s just them today, to shoot for the cover. Tomorrow the starters for the Seakings will fly in for the remainder of the photoshoot, then immediately fly back to prepare for their first preseason game, while the Nighthawks will be photographed in New York.
So that leaves Andrew and Neil. No Riko, no Kevin, no coaches. Just them.
There is no possibility for anything, because what could Neil want from Andrew? What could Andrew give him? Nothing. There’s nothing Andrew could even offer him, so there’s nothing for Neil to choose.
Still, Neil has to reach for his water bottle and take a long sip, forcing his gaze away from Andrew, pushing those thoughts away.
It’s then that he notices the camera being set up in front of a large, white NEL backdrop further back in the studio. Two chairs have been placed next to each other on the right, directly facing another chair placed to the left.
It looks like a setup for an interview, this Neil knows. What he doesn’t know is why.
Frowning over at the scene, Neil looks to his manager and asks, “What’s that for?”
Though he already has an idea.
His manager says, while staring at his phone, as if this isn’t of any importance and that Neil should have already been in the know, “For your behind-the-scenes interview with Andrew.”
And that was exactly what Neil was guessing, but all the same, his heart stops in his chest and all words fall from his mouth.
“O-oh.” He glances at his reflection then, hoping something in it will ground him. It’s to no avail; his heart decides then to start pounding. “Like - together?”
“Like together,” his manager says, one eyebrow quirking while his eyes remain on his phone. “Any problem with that?”
Neil takes a deep breath and chances a glance over at Andrew. No, there is no problem, because to have a problem would mean he has an issue with being near Andrew, and . . .
And Neil sort of wants that, for whatever reason, so -
“No, no problem.”
After a makeup artist attacks Neil’s face with a variety of brushes and sponges, and after he’s dressed in the first outfit for the day, he’s led to the interview setup, where Andrew is already sitting. He looks as relaxed as he had earlier, his legs crossed at the ankle, hands folded over his stomach and his eyes closed. He doesn’t open them when Neil settles down beside him.
A fact that Neil is thankful for, because even just sitting next to Andrew has Neil’s skin feeling hot and his lungs feeling tight. He wrings his water bottle until the sound of the plastic crackling is louder than his pulse.
But why, is what he wonders, why does he feel this way? He’s done a thousand interviews, done them with various teammates in this exact situation before, in fact. He’s even been nervous for a few of them.
Never like this. Not to the point where he can’t sit still, feeling so helpless, as if his veins are vibrating under his skin.
“Stop.”
The one word, uttered so simply, is like slamming on the brakes. Immediately, Neil stops. His hands go slack around the bottle, his shoulders slump, and he finally looks to his left.
“Stop what?” he asks, ignoring how out of breath he sounds.
Andrew opens his eyes then, and finds enough energy to turn slightly to look right at Neil. He says nothing, but he doesn’t have to.
Neil uncurls his hands completely, muscles surging with relief as he does so, and lets out a deep breath.
“Sorry.”
But now that his hands aren’t busy, the franticness is building inside of him again, so Neil allows his gaze to settle fully on Andrew. Calculating everything; his eyes, his posture, his easy and calm breathing - as if he really isn’t breathing at all.
“. . . what kind of questions do you think they’ll ask us?” Neil tries, looking for any sign that Andrew is as affected as he is.
That gets a slight frown in his direction, but ultimately Andrew lets out a sigh and closes his eyes again. “All that matters is the answers you decide to give.”
“That’s not helpful.”
“Mhm.”
Just as Neil’s about to start in on choking the life out of his water bottle once more, with his every bone feeling full of electricity, Andrew speaks up and says, “You don’t have to answer any question that you don’t want to, or even how they want you to.”
Neil lets out a laugh bordering on skeptical. “Oh really? Do you have some sort of secret that I should know about?”
“It’s not a secret. It’s called ‘standing your ground’.”
For whatever reason, that feels like an insult, and it sinks heavy in Neil’s stomach. He looks around the studio at the various crew members, the lighting setup and the props and everything that’s designed to make fake things look real, and sighs.
“As if I ever had any ground in the first place.”
“Mhm,” Andrew says again, and nothing else.
Neil is spared having to think of a response by the interviewer approaching them. She introduces herself and reaches out to shake Neil’s hand, but is quick to pull back when Andrew simply stares at the offering.
“Nice to meet you both,” she says, smile never flinching, and takes the seat opposite them. “Shall we begin?”
The interview is made of simple questions at first; how long have they been reading the magazine, what their favourite issue is, what team did they root for the most while in college, easy things that Neil already knows how to answer.
But easy is never how anything stays.
“Neil, now that Andrew, a top-ranked player, is sitting here beside you, how do you feel about him? Are you still optimistic about your chances?”
Neil’s instinct is to laugh a bit, and turn to face Andrew. When Neil smiles, it’s for him, and not the camera. “I feel good. I mean, yeah, you might be top-ranked, but statistics are just that - statistics. Right, Andrew?”
Slower than snow melting, Andrew turns his head to look at Neil, without an ounce of feeling in his expression. “I hate you.”
Neil’s smile crashes a few levels, but he’s quick to hide it and face the camera again. “. . . it’s going to be fun proving him wrong.”
The interviewer smiles, and looks to Andrew. “And what about you, Andrew? Hate is a pretty strong word regarding Neil, don’t you think?”
Still sounding as void as his three previous words had, Andrew shrugs and says, “Hate could mean many things.”
“So is Neil as ferocious in person as he is on the court?”
Andrew’s eyes are fire on Neil’s face. “Not at all.”
That fire burns and boils the spite in Neil’s chest, and Neil is quick to face him again and snap, “As if you’re anything special off of it.”
“Never said I was.”
“Which is a shame,” Neil says airily, dramatically shrugging his shoulders. “I sort of hoped that there was a soul in there somewhere, considering how much you bring to each game.”
“Oh, Neil,” and it’s a wonder how any person could sound so empty and yet still be condescending, “There wasn’t - until you came along.”
It’s said so viciously that it must be an insult, but it pricks and pokes up Neil’s spine until it reaches his head, and then Neil feels hot all over again.
He’s saved - or maybe, interrupted - by the interviewer when she suddenly makes a cooing noise, her eyes wide as she says, “Ooh, that sounds promising. So is it true then, Andrew, that you’ve been playing with more precision during your practices because of Neil?”
“Because of how foolish he is, perhaps.”
“And you, Neil? What’s been your incentive?”
Neil can’t look anywhere else but at Andrew’s face and those burning eyes. “Andrew.”
And he’s looking at Andrew, and Andrew is looking right back at him.
So when the next question is asked, it doesn’t surprise Neil as hard as it should, not at first.
“Now Neil, let’s chat about your past. You were unable to find recruitment with any other NEL teams because of the incident involving the news of your father. Does he have any impact on you now that you’ve made it?”
Then it sinks in, and Neil’s hot blood turns cool, as quick as it takes for his head to spin around. He faces the camera with a paled face and shocked eyes and stammers, “Uh, what? I don’t . . . I can’t answer that.”
It’s been months since he last uttered anything regarding his family and his father. He’s spent every day since then storing it away, pushing it back, leaving it in his past. Having it spoken about so blatantly feels as if his entire mind has been raked over and pulled apart.
“Surely you must feel something like pride or victory. What would you say to your father if given the chance?”
Neil’s hands curl in on themselves once again, nails biting into skin. The room is spinning and he has no clue what’s where or why. He’s back in that moment, with the reporters and the questions and the anger and the fear and being so clueless as to who he is.
“I haven’t thought - uh, are there any other questions?”
“Whatever’s the first thing to come to mind.”
“I - I guess -”
“And what about your mo-”
The interviewer’s too-enthusiastic voice is cut off abruptly by Andrew saying, “He said no.”
In a tone so solid it makes the screaming room go silent.
Neil doesn’t breathe.
“Oh, I was asking Neil, but if you have something to say on the issue . . .”
Andrew’s expression is darker than it was minutes ago. He doesn’t frown or sneer; all it takes is one look and it dims the entire world. “And Neil said no, so unless you have any other questions pertaining to what you’re really here for, I think we’re finished.”
The interviewer’s mouth hangs open but nothing comes out. Her eyes flick from Neil to Andrew to someone behind the camera, as Andrew slips out from the chair, not deigning anyone with a glance as he leaves the studio.
Neil remains seated, every limb feeling heavy, his eyes unable to look away from the doors that Andrew just pushed through. His manager comes up to him, on the phone with someone, speaking angrily and looking focused for once. Neil catches his own name somewhere in the conversation - along with his father’s.
Neil tunes it all out, however, every voice and word said to him. His lungs ache, and he doesn’t notice anything until they suddenly don’t.
Because the moment he’s finally able to breathe again is the moment that Andrew walks back in through the doors and returns to set.
-
It’s a half hour before Neil is called to set. His nerves are still in disarray, but just like he does on the court, he pushes them away to focus on the task at hand. He does what he’s told, playing the role set out for him. He’s never done such a high scale photoshoot before, so he doesn’t hesitate in tilting his chin this way and that way when instructed, smiling when they ask him, conveying every emotion that they want him to convey. It’s clear what story they’re trying to tell.
Is it a story he actually believes in, though? Does he really hate Andrew the way the world is saying he does? Neil doesn’t think so, not even when he catches Andrew’s gaze between touch-ups and smiles, and all Andrew does is blink.
There’s just nothing to hate. Neil’s thought a lot about Andrew since first meeting him, and he can’t come up with a single reason. Rivalry doesn’t equate to hate.
Before Neil can go back to set after touch-ups, a hair stylist ties an aqua-coloured bandana around Neil’s head in a band, pushing his bangs back from his face. She says, sounding satisfied, “Now that’s more like it, hey, rookie?”
Neil itches to reach up and take it off.
When Andrew is called to set, that’s when the entire train derails. A story can’t be told when the character refuses to say their lines. Demands and requests are called out, but Andrew reacts as if they were never even said. Either on purpose, or simply because he just doesn’t care.
“Andrew, can we at least get a smile?” the photographer asks, lowering the camera from her face. “Make it grim, vicious, guarded. Anything.”
Andrew’s face stays the way it’s been all day; cold and plain, not a single emotion shuttering across it.
Neil watches without breathing, hands curled into fists and nails biting his palms. If he ever refused like that, if he ever denied what they wanted him to be . . . he wouldn’t exist.
Yet Andrew stands there, hands shoved in the pockets of his tailored pants, looking the way he always is and not what they want him to be. And he doesn’t disappear.
Neil is smiling by the end of it. If he can’t deny the rules, can’t break them, then he’ll happily watch Andrew do it.
Eventually the director yells out in frustration, turning to Andrew’s manager and demanding compliance, but Andrew’s manager simply shakes her head. The director calls for lunch, spewing obscenities as he walks away from set, talking loudly with the production team as they all voice their annoyance over Andrew.
Neil can’t stop smiling, and he finds that he doesn’t even want to.
It’s a surprise, though, when Neil turns from set and finds Andrew waiting for him. He’s staring at nothing, but once he’s sure Neil is there beside him, he heads for the door.
Neil follows without question as Andrew stops in front of his manager, holding out his hand silently until his manager produces a package of cigarettes and a lighter. Then he turns for the exit, turns down a hallway, down a staircase, and out a backdoor that leads into an alley.
Neil still asks no questions as Andrew leans against the wall of the building, designer suit be damned, and lights up. He asks no questions as Andrew takes a deep drag, then passes the cigarette off to Neil.
“That’s not a good look for you,” Andrew finally says, words slow and raspy. He points with his now-free fingers up at the bandana still fixed around Neil’s head.
“Thanks,” Neil says, mocking intent clear in is voice. “I’m choosing to wear it.”
“You are,” Andrew says in agreement, reaching back for the cigarette.
Neil frowns, eyebrows and mouth twisting up. “That was called sarcasm. Have you heard of it?”
“The definition must have changed then.”
“What do you mean?”
Andrew takes his time with answering, instead choosing to lean his head against the brick, closing his eyes, breathing up a cloud of smoke to the sky. “You have a choice. If you don’t like it, take it off.”
“After you just pissed them off like that by refusing to smile? Do you know how to, or have you never felt joy before?”
That gets one eye open. Andrew’s half glare is icy enough to freeze fire. “There’s nothing to smile about here,” he says, simply. “Though that must be news to you. If they say smile, you smile. If they say run, you’d ask where to? It’s sad.”
Neil lifts a hand to his head, feeling the soft curls of his hair tousled around the bandana, shaping a face that should be his but somebody else has made. They tied his hair back and removed the past five years of his life, turned him back into the freshman rookie at Arizona.
His hands move, as if to take the bandana off, but he can’t.
“It’s not up to me,” he says, quietly.
Andrew has both eyes open now, staring straight ahead at the opposite wall. “Sad. You are far too concerned with pleasing people who only want one thing from you. It’s your face that’s going to be on the magazine. Your name being played with.”
Andrew takes another two or three drags of his smoke, time passing as slowly as he breathes. Then he turns to Neil, holding the cigarette out of the way, and says clearly, “Come here.”
As stunned as Neil is by such a sudden command, he takes the few steps separating them until he’s right in front of Andrew.
Andrew’s hand motions towards the bandana. “Do you want to be this person?”
Neil’s response is automatic; “No.”
Without hesitating, Andrew snags his fingers into the material and pulls it free from Neil’s head, tossing it over his shoulder just as quickly.
“Then don’t be this person.”
He places the mostly-gone cigarette between Neil’s fingers, then pulls open the door that leads
inside, leaving Neil alone in the alley.
He finishes breathing in the rest of the cigarette, eyes never leaving the aqua-coloured material that sits on the dirty ground of a Los Angeles alleyway. Neil doesn’t pick it up.
Once inside, he goes back to his makeup chair, allowing the artist to touch up his face. It’s difficult to stay still when Andrew is only a few feet away, when Neil can’t stop thinking about him, when Neil replays the brush of Andrew’s fingers through his hair over, and over, and over.
He allows himself to spare a glance in his direction, watching as an obviously-anxious makeup artist brushes powder over Andrew’s cheeks, Andrew reclined in his chair with his feet up on the vanity again.
There’s no reason to get up and walk over, but there’s no reason not to, either, so Neil chooses what he wants to do. It’s the strangest sensation, allowing his feet to go where they want to go.
Stranger that it’s towards Andrew.
“Hey.”
The makeup artist ignores Neil’s interruption, but Andrew immediately opens his eyes.
“I wanted to say thank you, for, uh, for earlier.” His hand comes up to rest on the back of Andrew’s chair, fingers squeezing tight to stop himself from altering something he isn’t allowed to change, touching something he can’t touch. “You know . . . the only time I get to say anything that I actually think, it’s about you.”
Maybe he is being played like a puppet, but his rivalry with Andrew is real. Everything he’s said about Andrew has been the truth, regardless if the world hears it as hate.
It’s not.
The universe pauses and sits in sharp silence. Andrew sends a fierce look at the makeup artist, ushering her away, then looks back at the mirror as the universe presses play.
“So there is something outside of your contract?”
There’s intention in Andrew’s voice, intention that Neil wants to respond to. He immediately understands what Andrew was asking with that phone call, and it sinks his chest in. He can't.
“It’s not something I’m allowed to have.”
There’s somberness in Neil’s voice, sombreness that Andrew doesn’t respond to. He sits still and uncaring. “But do you want it?”
He’s never been asked that before.
Because of that fact, he can’t look up again, can’t bring himself to meet Andrew’s eyes in the reflection.
“I’ve never wanted it,” he says finally, and it’s not a yes, but it’s not a no.
“Doesn’t answer my question,” Andrew says, like he expected Neil to say that. He doesn’t give Neil the chance to try though, and instead slides from his seat to stand by his manager.
It’s fifteen minutes before they’re both called back to set. The director takes one look at Neil’s restyled hair, and widens his eyes to match the rage he had yelled out at Andrew.
“What happened to your hair?” he asks, and looks around for the hair stylist. “We have a cover to shoot for, you need to be ready.”
“I’m not wearing it,” Neil says back flatly, and something real bursts and bleeds in his chest, but it doesn’t hurt.
“Don’t be difficult. It’s not for you - it’s for the picture.”
“I’m not wearing it.”
“Do you want us to continue with this photoshoot or not?” he snaps, and waves over for the hair stylist. “It’s very simple; keep the stupid thing on your head and smile when you’re told. Got it?”
Fight fills Neil’s mouth, words and curses that can only be stopped by biting down on his tongue. It wouldn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. Not here.
His ‘no’ is nonexistent here, just like it’s always been and always will be.
So Neil sighs and bows his head, and when the stylist pulls yet another bandana through his curls and ties it tight, he doesn’t take it off.
The photoshoot leads back underway, but this time Neil doesn’t smile, because it’s not asked of him.
Standing shoulder to shoulder with the man who’s meant to be his enemy, a man he’s meant to hate when he really doesn’t, though, feels like another lie.
The world won’t know, when the magazine comes out, that they really don’t hate each other, not that way. The cover shot will most likely be the two of them staring each other down, an inch of space between their faces. The world will never know the ideas being thought in that space.
Andrew is offering something.
A decision, a choice.
Something he can say no to - something he wants to say yes to.
Something Neil hasn’t ever had before. It’s always been what he has to do, no other options.
It’s not something anyone else can decide for him. It’s not even something he can decide to feel for himself, because you can tell yourself you can't, but it doesn’t stop you from wanting to reach out and touch, be touched. He’s never wanted that before, either.
How could he say no?
It’s the first time his body and his mind have been a cohesive yes. Funny, that it goes against everything his contract states, that it��s everything he should say no to.
“Andrew.” He says it in the last second they have together, before they’re broken apart by the stylists and makeup artists. “I want it.”
Andrew considers Neil for a moment, expression unreadable, but Neil knows he isn’t truly as bored as he looks. He leaves without saying anything, and Neil knows that’s not the end of it.
He’s proven right an hour later, when his phone goes off with a text message from ‘03’. It’s a bunch of numbers that at first glance mean nothing. It doesn’t take Neil long to realize the numbers are coordinates, a time, and a room number.
34.066042, -118.410602
10
753
Chapter 4
His hood is pulled up over his head, a baseball cap is lowered over his face.
It’s a precaution, though he’s pretty sure the only people who might recognize him right now are the people who’ve had their TV’s turned to a sports station over the past month.
Stepping out of the cab, he leaves behind his last checkpoint of safety, and enters an entirely different world. Fancy doesn’t begin to describe this hotel, with its palm trees and marble fountain. The doormen wear sharp, fitted suits, and greet him with a small bow.
The inside is even worse; a crystal chandelier hangs above Neil’s head as soon as he steps through the revolving doors. In his baggy hoodie and hat, he suddenly feels a bit out of place. Very, very out of place.
It takes a minute to find the right elevator, an even longer minute to work up the courage to press the button, and another sixty precise seconds to step onto it when the doors open. Then there’s no going back, the only direction is up, up, up to the seventh floor.
What’s on the seventh floor is everything he cannot have. It’s everything he signed away. It’s also what he doesn’t understand.
Neil isn’t stupid. He knows the risks and the dangers. What he doesn’t know is what he feels, he just knows that he feels it, because he hasn’t ever before.
Not like this. It’s never itched up inside of him. He’s never felt the scratching of sharp curiosity, clawing at his insides in an attempt to get out.
He’s been fine without it. You can’t want something you just don’t feel. He knows, realistically, he could be fine without this, too, but the thought of never knowing, never finding out, never trying, is enough reason to get him out of the elevator.
He has to know why he feels this, what this is, where it’s coming from and how. All he knows is that it’s because of Andrew.
What is it about Andrew?
The fact that it could ruin everything, if anyone else ever found out, doesn’t scare him. If anything, it comforts him, because he signed a contract saying he wouldn’t let people see this, wouldn’t let them know.
Andrew did, too.
So who out of the two of them is going to tell?
So what could it hurt to just find out? To feed an answer to his tightening heart, and finish the rhythm that’s been stuck in his head since he first shook Andrew’s hand.
The door with the gold 753 comes into view much too quickly, but having made his decision a long time ago, Neil doesn’t hesitate this time, and raises a hand to give a steady knock on the wood. It takes a minute, but soon there’s the sound of footsteps, and then the door is swinging back open.
Andrew stands there, an unlit cigarette hanging from his lips. He looks at Neil, then fishes his phone out of his pocket, clicks a button, and holds the screen up for Neil to see. “Eager?” he asks around the cigarette.
The time is flashing on the screen. Four minutes before ten. “Traffic wasn’t terrible,” Neil explains, and steps around Andrew to get inside.
The door closes, sealing them in, feeling almost as final as it had when they were locked in the court.
Andrew makes his way to the minibar and asks, “Did anyone see you come in?”
“I don’t think so. Hey - why’d you make this place so hard to find?”
Andrew says without looking at him, “To be sure you wanted to find it.”
He turns around and hands a bottle of something to Neil, then takes one for himself and makes his way over to the windowsill, turning the crank on the window and pushing it out as far as it will go. He lights up, completely ignorant to the placard on the wall that declares this suite as a non-smoking room.
“Not a fan of following the rules, I see,” Neil says conversationally, eyes glancing up at the placard.
“Five-hundred bucks a night. It’s a smoking room.”
Managing a grim sort of smile, Neil finds a place on the bed, facing Andrew where he sits at the window.
Settling into silence, Neil suddenly feels - awkward. Too aware of himself, from his clothes, to his thoughts, to this aching unknowing that he hates - because Andrew must know.
Neil’s been painted to look inexperienced by the media. He hates that sitting in front of Andrew, he is that painting, has no clue what to do or how. It makes him want to tear off his skin and try again, to be another picture, to know better.
Oblivious to Neil’s internal panic, or maybe because he’s all too aware of it, Andrew leans over and passes Neil his pack of smokes and a lighter. They smoke and breathe and drink in silence, and the longer each second stays quiet, the more Neil’s heart starts to settle.
He had expected go go go and now now now and desperate and quick just to get it over with. But Andrew sits there with his head tilted back, looking as if this is the only reason he invited Neil over tonight, like there’s nothing else expected.
So Neil has to ask, his cigarette nearly burnt down to a stub, “How many times have you done this?”
Andrew takes that as an insult, it seems, judging by the scowl that darkens his face.
“I mean -” He doesn’t know what he means, he can’t say it. “You signed this all away,” he tries, waving his hand around. “You don’t seem that bothered by it. Like you’ve found a way around it.”
Andrew shrugs, confirming Neil’s suspicion, acting as if signing away everything you are inside means nothing. “You could say that,” he says. “But I’m not going to let some words on a paper decide who I fuck anyway.”
That sends a sudden bolt of heat down Neil’s chest, feeling more like a punch than anything else. He ducks his head quickly to hide the flash of red that colours his cheeks. It’s dizzying to hear this - whatever this is - put into words.
“What if you get caught?”
“I can’t get caught,” Andrew says. “I’m not hiding anything, I’m just not telling. There’s a difference.”
Neil nods, though he doesn’t understand.
Andrew sips at his drink, studying Neil intently over the mouth of his bottle. “There’s a reason I never signed your team’s contract.”
“And what is that?”
“Is this sport really that important to you that you’d forfeit every cell you are?”
It’s not difficult to hold Andrew’s gaze now. He means it when he says, “It is every cell I am.”
Andrew looks as if he wants to roll his eyes, but he refrains and takes one last drag of his smoke before stubbing the end out against the pristine windowsill. “That’s what I thought you’d say,” he says, turning his body to face Neil better, letting his legs part and his shoulders relax. “I don’t believe it.”
Then it’s back to not being able to look at him. Andrew’s eyes are like a searching spotlight, so bright, exposing everything. All Neil can think about is the small distance between him and Andrew’s open legs, Andrew’s steady gaze, reading him and cracking him open.
“Or else you wouldn’t be here right now.”
Neil uses his drink as an excuse to avoid eye contact, lifting his bottle up up up until he can drain it. Andrew seems to be giving him the time he needs to answer that, so Neil takes it, studying the label of his beer with serious intent once he's finished.
“I don’t know what I’m doing here because I’ve never -” Neil starts, then stops, and finally looks up. “How am I supposed to pass up something I’ve never felt before?”
That changes something in Andrew’s structure. He’s quick to straighten himself and tower his presence over Neil. He says like it’s law, “You don’t feel anything. If this is going to be anything, it will be only physical. Do you understand?”
Neil doesn’t understand, because he most definitely does feel something. He doesn’t know what it is, and the only reason he knows it’s there is because it’s never been there.
He wants to think it’s simply because Andrew’s tied up in Neil’s love for Exy now, but then again, so is Kevin. He wants to think maybe it’s because Andrew is a means of security now, because Andrew can't tell anyone.
But that doesn’t work; Neil only wants because it’s Andrew.
Looking at him, at Andrew’s guarded gaze and venomous stance, Neil can’t pinpoint what it is about him.
The last thing it could ever be, however, is his touch. The last time Neil’s fingertips have brushed Andrew’s skin was the night they met.
It has to be something else.
Neil doesn’t mind figuring it out, but he has to say, a smirk tugging at his lips, “How could it only be physical when all we’ve done so far is shake hands?”
Andrew’s vicious expression stays where it is for a long moment, increasing in darkness, until suddenly he snaps his head around to stare out the window. “You’re a lot more difficult than I thought you’d be.”
“I’m a challenge, remember?”
Andrew lets out a slightly more raspy breath, a skeleton of a laugh. Neil feeds on it. It puts him one step closer to solving this.
Though he isn’t quite sure what he’ll do when he figures it out.
“Then where do you want to start?” Andrew asks, after another suspension of silence, surprising Neil with his voice.
For a moment there, he was expecting to be sent away. He didn’t think he’d be given another decision to make. Letting out a small laugh, Neil shrugs and admits, “I was hoping you would tell me.”
To his confusion, Andrew doesn’t answer that, and instead hops off the windowsill to walk over to the desk by the mirror, picking up a large leatherbound menu.
“We should eat,” Andrew says, tossing the book at Neil. “Order whatever you want.”
He isn’t hungry at all, his stomach too twisted up to feel anything, but he thinks maybe that’s not what Andrew is asking.
“What are you having?”
Andrew sighs at that, but lifts one dismissive shoulder and says, “Ice cream, probably.”
“Then I’ll have that.”
Whatever he had expected from tonight, sitting on a bed with Andrew Minyard and eating ice cream out of expensive serving dishes was not part of that.
The TV plays in the background, drowning out most of Neil’s attempt at conversation. Yet somehow, it’s not awkward. It’s almost as if this is how it’s supposed to go.
Andrew doesn’t talk, but he listens, even if he doesn’t lift his eyes to meet Neil’s. He stirs and picks at his dessert as Neil rattles on about this and that, topics mostly covering Exy, as that’s all he’s accustomed to talking about.
He starts off by mentioning how many of Andrew’s games he had watched throughout college - he had watched many. He mentions his days in little league, and how it was his only escape from a strange home life he wouldn’t understand for years to come. He starts to mention being recruited by Kevin, the day his coach at UOA had approached him and said ‘There’s a recruiter for the Seakings here to see you play tonight’ before he realizes, he really doesn’t want to talk about Kevin.
Or Exy.
Or anything about the game.
But what else to say?
He wants to find the reason why he feels so high about Andrew and uncaring about everything else; his whole career sits right outside the locked hotel door and Neil doesn’t think once about it when he’s talking to Andrew.
After a few moments of silence, stirring at melted ice cream, Neil thinks off the top of his head and tells Andrew about the weird dream he had last night, something he wouldn’t think to tell anyone else, because who else would listen?
The abrupt change in topics seems to shock Andrew, because there’s a quirk to his eyebrow and a twitch at his lips.
“So what about you?” Neil asks, giving his spoon a lick. “What kind of messed up dreams have you had?”
Andrew graces him with a cold look. “I’m living one,” he says, but after a minute, he surprises Neil by elaborating. “It’s pointless to wonder about them. They’re always going to be unrealistic, and I don’t approve of false hope.”
“I get that,” Neil says, nodding, though he isn’t sure he does get that. “Whenever I dream about flying, I wake up disappointed that I can’t. It always feels so real.”
“It never is.”
“Thanks, I’ll try to remember that next time I’m unconscious.”
Andrew looks at him again, and this time, he doesn’t look away.
Once they’re done their ice cream, they set the bowls down on the ground, as if they aren’t worth the rent of a house. Not having anything to keep his mouth and hands busy now, Neil glances at Andrew’s lips, and wonders too much about them.
“How am I doing?” He has to ask, half joke, half panic.
“Terrible,” Andrew answers, but it sounds half mocking, half bite. “But I’m not grading you, and I don’t plan on telling anyone else.”
“I know.” Neil shrugs a bit. “That’s what convinced me to come.”
Knowing Andrew would keep it a secret isn’t the reason he’s here, but it is the reassuring force that had him take those last few steps towards the door.
He’s here because -
And then he thinks he gets it.
Andrew’s been giving him chance after chance all night to turn around and walk away. The click of the lock wasn’t as final as the lock on the court had been; that had been somebody else’s decision, that neither could escape from. Being in here with Andrew, all Neil has to do to leave is leave.
Andrew is the opposite of Neil’s contract - he’s freedom.
Neil’s never had freedom. He’s never had freedom want him in return.
So uncaring about the rights or the wrongs because neither affect him, Andrew does things because and only if he wants to, despite all the rules and regulations.
For Neil, a man whose entire life has been rules and regulations, self-imposed and forced, it’s invigorating.
It’s freeing. It’s having the option of leaving if he wants to, staying if he wants that more. It’s whatever Neil wants to do, as long as he really wants to do it. No forcing, no pushing, no pressure.
Just a question, with so many answers.
That’s the reason he’s here. That’s the reason he wants Andrew.
Focusing on the TV after coming to that realization is difficult, and it shows in Neil’s bouncing legs, anxious fingers, in his eyes that keep averting from the screen to look at Andrew, waiting for Andrew, wanting Andrew to look at him.
The program cuts to commercial, and Andrew remains still as stone, a safe distance away from Neil’s jittering body.
And -
He’s slower than Andrew, clearly, because it seems Andrew had already come to Neil’s realization long ago. Andrew sits still and away from Neil because he’s waiting for Neil, not the other way around.
And here it is again, the reason he wants this; having a decision. Andrew’s given him space to draw out his lines, figure out his boundaries, and now Neil has to decide if he wants Andrew across them.
His name is attached to a contract that binds up his entire life, lining his body, keeping him contained. Now that he’s outside of it, playing within his own lines, he doesn’t know where to start.
But he does want to start, and that’s a first.
So he tries to make that first move, of his own volition, sitting up on the bed to face Andrew, who keeps his attention pinned to the TV. His apparent disinterest doesn’t deter Neil, not when Andrew is straightening out his legs on either side of Neil and slowly uncrossing his arms.
Then they’re face to face, nearly skin to skin, but not quite eye to eye; Neil is looking entirely at Andrew’s lips.
“Can I?” Neil asks, still staring at Andrew’s mouth, and his heart thrums up alive at how much he wants an answer.
Andrew lifts an eyebrow, and asks back, “Can you?”
It can’t be all that difficult, Neil thinks, and leans forward to reach for Andrew. His hands instinctively come up to cup Andrew’s jaw, because that’s what feels right.
Wrong.
His hands are stopped abruptly just inches from Andrew’s face. Andrew wraps his fingers tight around Neil’s wrists and holds him there, not pushing him away but not allowing him closer.
Once he’s sure Neil is contained in his hands, Andrew closes the distance between their lips and kisses him.
Neil didn't know it could feel like that.
It’s - odd. He never understood the point of it, and he doesn’t understand it now, but it’s just that with Andrew’s lips against his, he almost never wants to breathe again if it means he can keep kissing him.
The drag of curiosity, of knowing I want this, whatever this is, pulls him forward for more. He gives in completely to Andrew’s hands around his wrists, sagging his body forward and letting Andrew hold him up.
Being touched by Andrew feels like being told a million words at once. Like secrets being shared, no one else around to hear, only them and this and whatever comes next.
The kissing lasts for another minute, maybe two, maybe a hundred. Neil’s sense of time gets warped when he feels Andrew’s tongue against his, so really it could be the next day and he would be none the wiser.
Until Andrew flexes his grip around Neil, slowly ushering him back but not letting go. He says, firm and certain, “There are rules. Can you follow them?”
But how could Neil answer that when he can’t even remember his name, the English language so vague to him now? He blinks away the fog from his eyes, pushes through the daze, and only comes through to the other side when Andrew gives his wrists a squeeze.
Ever since Neil met him, and likely long before that, Andrew hasn’t followed a single rule that’s been put in his path. Laws and guidelines never mean anything to him. He’s his own person, player, game.
If Andrew comes with rules, then they must mean something. Neil nods his confirmation, then realizes a second later when Andrew doesn’t let go that it needs to be a vocal one. “Yes.”
He hardly recognizes his voice.
Andrew drops his wrists and puts a foot of space between them, but keeps one finger jabbed under Neil’s chin.
“I need to know that you really want it. If you need to stop, you say stop. If you need time, tell me you need time. Yes is yes and no is no.”
Neil looks at Andrew and meets the challenge in his eyes straight on. It settles weird in his stomach, twisting it up, because that challenge isn’t vicious or harmful. It’s as if Andrew’s waiting for Neil to say no, but even more than that, it’s as if he’s afraid he’ll say yes.
“I understand,” Neil says, holding himself very still as Andrew takes his hand away, in case such a simple word invokes a serious reaction. It’s risky to look away from Andrew’s eyes, but he needs to see where his hands are now; clenched up tight in the blanket, far away from Neil. “Where can I touch you?”
He asks without thinking it through, because he has to, confused by all these lines being drawn. So far it seems as if none of them lead to Andrew, but rather create a barrier around him.
“That’s the second rule,” Andrew says calmly, keeping his eyes on Neil’s face. “You can’t.”
Somewhere in the distance of Neil’s mind, there’s the sound of tires coming to a screeching halt. He snaps his head up quickly, unable to mask his continued confusion, but it quickly dies where it’s spread out across his face once he looks at Andrew’s.
It wouldn’t be a rule if Andrew didn’t need it. So instead of asking why, Neil says, “Okay.”
For whatever reason, that knocks the ice off Andrew’s features and shows what’s hidden underneath - shock.
It makes Neil wonder if anyone’s ever wanted to follow Andrew’s rules before. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t follow anyone else’s.
Andrew blinks and the ice comes back, sharpening and freezing everything from his eyes to his lips. “Do you have any rules?”
Neil shrugs and shakes his head. “Not yet. I’ve never done this before.”
Andrew’s response is silence, but he seems to hear whatever it is he needs to hear, because he doesn’t push it.
And oddly enough, it doesn’t fall back into more kissing, though Andrew does look between Neil and the windowsill for a considerable amount of time. He makes whatever decision he needs to and indicates with a jerk of his head to follow. Then they sit at the windowsill together, legs bent up and toes nearly touching, exchanging a lighter between them to light two separate cigarettes.
Andrew looks contemplative, remnants of challenge still in his eyes, looking almost angry with something. With himself.
Neil has to ask, “Is it usually like this?”
Whatever this is or is supposed to be or can be - Neil has a suspicion this isn't how it usually goes.
Andrew looks out at their view, breathing out a cloud of smoke into the gap of the open window, and shrugs. “I don’t know. It’s rare for someone to get past the second rule.”
Neil’s mouth wants to drop open to form another question, but he keeps it closed and fills in the blanks for himself. It’s clear now why Andrew looks that way; he doesn’t know what to do.
Has anyone ever said yes to him?
No, that’s not it, Neil thinks.
Has anyone ever asked him for a yes?
Content to wait it out, even if it never happens, Neil moves from the windowsill to sit on the bed, only to be stopped by a hand on his wrist.
Neil pauses immediately, and looks over his shoulder to where Andrew is, still sitting, taking one last drag of his cigarette. He never lets go of Neil’s wrist.
As soon as it’s stubbed out, grey ashes smearing into white wood, Neil is being hauled closer and downwards, just enough for Andrew to grab the back of his neck and pull him in for a kiss.
A hand on his neck and a hand around his wrist, Neil feels contained in a way that makes him feel free. He’s safe here. His no means no here.
He says yes here.
Somehow, someway, through quick pecks and violent nips of teeth against lips, they end up on the bed. The pillow feels like concrete when Neil’s head hits it, or maybe that shock of impact is from having Andrew’s entire body weight over top of him.
His hands instinctively come up to touch. Andrew is a hot, heavy, real thing above him and Neil wants to know every inch, so it doesn’t seem so foreign, but he can’t. Like a flashing red warning, blaring loud through his ears, he reminds himself to kill the need to solve things.
Andrew will show him whatever he wants him to know.
Andrew keeps his body raised in certain places, carefully arranging his knees and his arms to hold himself where he wants to be. Neil responds by pressing his own body further into the mattress, as if telling Andrew he gets it, he’ll give him his space.
All he can’t control, all he doesn’t want to, is the way that he’s breathing. One kiss and it’s heavy, two kisses and it’s desperate, three kisses and Neil thinks he’s suffocating, whining low in his throat and gasping in the half second that their lips aren’t touching.
He thinks maybe Andrew wants to smother him breathless, because his kisses quicken, raining down relentless.
A bite on his lower lip abruptly stops them, however, and Andrew asks right against Neil’s mouth, “Do you want this?”
And suddenly it all seems so very simple: this is not a contract. There are no false pretenses here, no mask he has to wear. It’s not you must do this or you won’t have anything. It’s do you want this? If you do, we can. If you don’t, we won’t.
“Yes,” Neil gasps out, and his voice is quickly swallowed up by Andrew’s lips and tongue and hands again.
Some people search for people. Some people wait. Neil was neither, not caring about being alone because he always had a game to play, a team to lead, a dream to make. But if he wasn’t searching and wasn’t waiting, then why is he reacting like this, like every touch of Andrew’s fingertips adds missing pieces to him?
His legs part without him thinking it, his throat twists out Andrew’s name, his heart beats somehow steady as Andrew’s hands skim lower and lower, as Andrew shoves Neil’s hoodie further up his chest and exposes all his skin.
“Tell me to stop,” Andrew says, between kisses planted to Neil’s neck and collarbone.
Neil throws his head back and grits out, “I don’t want you to stop.”
It was a question concealed as a statement, Neil realizes, and Andrew hears whatever he needed to hear in Neil’s answer. His kisses follow the path that his hands had made.
In the back of Neil’s mind, forced there because what Andrew’s lips and hands are doing right now takes priority, he thinks about the dangers. If anyone ever realized, saw, told, then Neil’s dream would be finished, his life would be over.
Then why does it feel like it’s just now beginning?
Andrew yanks Neil’s hoodie down from where it was bunched under his armpits, but it’s Neil who reaches out to rip it off.
That gets something - not a smile, not even a smirk - but a something in his direction. It also gives him a brief pause, enough to realize Andrew’s eyes are hazel, and not dark hateful things.
The world thinks he hates him, and Neil will live just fine with that, as long as they never know how willingly and easily he submits to Andrew’s hands. They push and pull and pinch and part and Neil says yes to it all, so desperate for Andrew to start.
Andrew kisses places that nobody else ever has, places that nobody else has ever touched, even with hands. Neil’s pulse races underneath Andrew’s lips, and his heart stops completely when Andrew’s cool breath blows over the mark of a wet kiss, and it scares Neil.
It scares Neil that he wasn’t searching but now he can’t imagine anyone else but Andrew.
He reminds himself of the reason; Andrew is safety that nobody else can give him, a set of rules just for them, a decision, an underlying trust that neither will give the other away because then they’ll both lose. The offer of yes or no.
That’s it.
There can’t be any other reason Neil is only thinking, and has only ever thought, Andrew.
As the kisses, bites, licks and marks continue, the need to grab something deepens and engraves itself like a scar across Neil. “Andrew,” he says, or tries to say but ends up gasping. He doesn’t want to ask for it, not wanting to force Andrew to give it, but he needs - he doesn’t know what he needs. “I -”
There’s a blur of blonde hair above Neil, a slick swell of heat from Andrew’s mouth around Neil’s neck. Andrew pulls back the very instant he hears his name, leaving Neil cold all over.
At Neil’s silence, his non-vocal no, Andrew looks like he’s about to sit up and forget about all of this, and Neil’s heart beats hard in sudden protest.
“No, never - nevermind,” he stammers, and closes his legs dangerously close around Andrew, but still not enough to touch. “Keep going.”
Andrew must be starving, and just as cold as Neil was, because he doesn’t waste a second and continues painting Neil’s neck with spit and kisses.
And Neil, watching how Andrew grips and grabs him, settles for clutching at the blanket underneath them. Leaving claw marks against the silken material is worlds safer than leaving claw marks down Andrew.
Neil’s about to tear holes through the blanket when, without looking or taking his mouth off Neil, Andrew reaches up with one hand and grabs hard at Neil’s wrist. Another anchor, another pinpoint of safety.
Unlike every other hold, this one doesn’t seem to be to keep Neil in place. This ones to give him something to feel.
Neil’s been throughout various variations of breathless, but never like this. The very proximity of Andrew is like a body check on the court, but it doesn’t hurt, it just leaves him gasping for air that can’t be breathed.
And suddenly, Neil wants more, in a way that he has never wanted more before.
But Andrew is pulling back.
Neil doesn’t mean to, truly, but he whines and whimpers the barest minimum of Andrew’s name.
As quiet as that one word is, it echoes and fades until silence consumes it.
“That’s enough,” Andrew says, the sound of his voice so strange now - so strange, but exactly what Neil needed to hear. He looks down at Neil, nothing about him heaving and shaking in the way that Neil is falling apart, and wipes at his mouth.
Andrew’s cheeks are red, his lips are redder, his eyes don’t look hazel anymore but rather something sparkling, so Neil lays there until he’s sure he’s not hallucinating any of it.
Sometime later, perhaps five seconds or five minutes, Andrew offers a hand and pulls Neil upright. His eyes and lips and cheeks are still surreal colours, which makes Neil think that Andrew just isn’t real - because Neil has never wanted anyone’s touch so much.
Then, as if he were reading Neil’s mind, Andrew reaches out and touches the pad of his thumb to Neil’s bottom lip, swiping across it in a way that could read as gentle if you weren’t Andrew, weren’t Neil.
It feels like he’s being asked a question; silent but as vital as air. Neil meets Andrew’s surreal eyes and nods, and it’s only then that Andrew removes his thumb to trace over his own lip, looking thoughtful and utterly at odds.
It must be common to be this breathless. Feeling weightless and drowsy, Neil can’t imagine having it, but the burn of wanting more more more scorches his insides. He says that to Andrew with his eyes.
It can’t be common, however, for Andrew to give one furious wipe to his mouth and push away from the bed to sit at the windowsill. Like more is wrong, like more can’t be done, like more is what he wants too much, like more really is something that Neil just doesn’t understand.
Neil watches him, and doesn’t ask why, because there are rules for a reason.
And, being honest, Neil doesn’t care about the more entirely - he cares about the Andrew of it all. So he keeps his mouth shut, because he knows Andrew wouldn’t want to hear it.
And, being honest, Neil isn’t going to tell him because right now, as he furiously puffs at a cigarette, Andrew looks the way Neil feels - like it’s more than just more for him, too.
Instead he tugs on his hoodie, and joins Andrew at the window. He hesitates before taking the offered cigarette, not wanting to burn away Andrew’s taste, but the scent of smoke always helps him reset his breathing.
But he really doesn’t mind never breathing again.
Even though the sky is dark, the lights of Los Angeles refuse to go down without a fight. Looking out at some strange version of night, the concept of time becomes even more confusing for Neil.
He doesn’t want it to become day.
And, as if he were reading Neil’s thoughts, counting down their seconds - as if he just wants Neil and nothing else - Andrew leans over and plucks the cigarette away from Neil and holds it out of the way, then grabs Neil with his free hand and pulls him to his lips.
This kiss is sour and ashy.
This kiss pauses time.
Neil figures this isn’t common at all, for either of them, or anybody.
But the last thing he could ever say is no.
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All In - Part 1 of 3
All In
Pairing: ChikaRiko
Rating: T
Words: 2717
Summary: Day 2 of ChikaRiko week. Rainy Days/Cards. Western AU. In order to help You out of a bad bet, Riko reluctantly agrees to play a night of bad poker with a charismatic stranger.
-
The rain hit the automobile windows as I looked out at the dreary sand and dirt, the rickety buildings, and the drooping plants that spotted the alleyways and porchsides of the town. "It had to be on such a poor day, too..." I sighed, turning towards the girl in the driver's seat, with such a determined look on her eyes, "Why does it have to be me? You know I'm no good at poker, You."
"You're good with money, right?" she said, "I have a bunch of money riding on this, so I really, really need your help. Whether that 'help' is winning by game today or helping budget my next few months worth of food..." Being an accountant does not make someone a good gambler. I would have told her that right then and there, but she had already heard it and disregarded it. At that moment, she turned to me with a nervous grin. "I wouldn't have bothered you with it if I wasn't desperate, so I really mean it when I say I'm sorry. This girl and I play all the time - she knows all my tricks! I can't risk it by myself!"
I groaned again, turning back to the window. "It's fine. I'll do it. Just don't be surprised when it doesn't go as well as you plan..."
She bumped me with her shoulder, loosening her grip on the wheel for a moment and jerking the car to the side as she did. She grinned and laughed, saying, "Thanks, Riko! I knew I could count on you!" If there were ever any other cars on the road in this ghost town, I'd probably be too nervous to even set foot within the same fifty foot radius of both You Watanabe and anything with wheels. Most people in this town were still on horse-and-buggy, and honestly, if You wanted to care about her budget, she would walk somewhere once in a while instead of taking this monstrosity. This town is small enough to support it.
"Besides," she continued, "She really likes redheads." I blushed, on instinct, not justifying her teasing with any more of a response than that. I had told You time and time again that I wasn't looking for anything like that right now. That was mostly because whenever the topic came up, it was because she was significantly drunker than I was and was directly asking me on her own behalf. She had long since given up, which isn't to say I would say 'no' if the question had the proper context, but... what we had now was nice enough on its own, for what it was worth. At least, it was nice most of the time. Other times, she dragged me to impromptu poker games and tried to set me up with strangers.
"Welp!" she cried out, turning the car with a screech to a building to our side, jolting me out of my melancholic haze rather suddenly, "We're here!" The vehicle had stopped before I even realized what had happened, and she exited and egged me out as well. I looked at the building in front of us. I wasn't quite sure what to expect, but I probably should have been. It looked like all the other buildings. Nothing in this town was ever quite dynamic enough to catch my interest anymore.
When I entered the building, it looked just like another saloon. There were a lot of those in this place. There were more of those than there were almost anything else, which certainly made my dayjob a little more secure if nothing else. I immediately saw a piano, untouched and looking a bit dusty in the corner, and my hand twitched a little as if subconsciously. I hadn't played in a while; I certainly played a lot less since I moved from the city. Whether it was the dreary town that made me give up, or if it was the giving up that inspired the move, I was still unsure.
Suddenly, I heard a voice, picking up my head to follow the sound to a table across the room. It was loud enough to cut through the crowds spread about. "Ah, You! Over here!" Sitting down at the table with half of a pint in hand was a sort of boyish-looking girl with messy ginger hair, waving her hand excitedly over her head. "Ooh, and a friend!" The main thing I noticed about her was how much she stood out from the crowd.
You led me over to an empty seat across from the girl, who shook her hand with me with a big, silly grin on her face. I'd usually chalk that sort of smile up to drunkenness, but her's seemed genuine. "The name's Chika!" she said, "You're a pretty one, aren't ya? I think You must be trying to distract me from the game, eh?" She turned to You with a cocked brow and a cocksure curve of the lips.
"Actually," You said, stepping forward before I could even speak up to introduce myself, "Riko here is going to be your opponent!" She pulled a deck of cards out of her back pocket and slapped it on the table, messily knocking aside a couple bottlecaps that were strewn about.
Chika didn't look amused. "Eh? That's cheating," she said, poutily crossing her arms over her chest and leaning back in her chair, "This is supposed to be your gamble."
You scratched the back of her head and nudged me in the side, pulling out a chair for me with her other hand. She chuckled, "Yeah, well, Riko's not exactly a seasoned veteran, here. Asking her to play for me is my gamble." I told her to stop teasing as I reluctantly took the seat and looked down at the deck of cards. Chika's hands were already reaching for it to grab it and shuffle - they were such pretty hands, which was surprising in this sort of scene.
"Riko, Riko, Riko..." she muttered as she tossed the deck back and forth between her hands, cutting it in front of her as she mused, "Oh, right! You're the pianist, from the city!" She lit up again, looking at me without missing a beat as far as handling the cards went. "Ooh! Can you play us something?"
You placed her hand on top of my head, ruffling my hair like she was peting a dog, and I brushed her aside, before she could make whatever comment it was she was going to make. "I'm an accountant first," I said, realizing that I never got a chance to properly greet Chika without being interrupted and adding, "And it's a pleasure to meet you."
"The pleasure's all mine," Chika said, setting the freshly shuffled deck in the center of the two of us.
"Before she's an accountant," You said, putting a hand on my shoulder and leaning forward, finding a way to shoehorn the cheeky comment she had planned before back into the conversation, "She's a poker player! Maybe if we win, she'll be in good enough spirits to play you something."
"It's a deal, then," Chika said, smiling at me as Riko patted my shoulder in assurance, "If you win, you play me a song as a punishment game."
"Eh?" I stammered, scooting my seat back and tossing off You's hand once again, "Wait, aren't punishment games usually for the loser?"
Chika replied, "Yeah, 'cause if you win the poker game, that means you've gotten on my bad side. That's the real loss here, hehehe." She motioned You over wordlessly to the center of the table, having her act as the dealer. I wouldn't trust You to deal a fair hand as far as I could throw her, but Chika seemed assured enough. She leaned forward and put on a deep, gruff-sounding voice as the cards started to get passed, saying, "You don't want to be my enemy."
You finished passing out the cards and I lifted up my first hand: absolute crap. Chika only looked confident as ever. If You was cheating, she certainly wasn't doing a very good job of it.
Speaking of, You set the deck back on the table and looked at Chika, pointing over toward the bar. "You mind if I get us a fill-up first, before we start? Riko, you want one?" She looked at me and I looked back and forth between her and Chika before sighing and agreeing to one drink and only one. I was already bad enough at poker without intentionally impairing myself even further.
Once You had left, the air felt a little heavy for a moment, and Chika leaned forward on one elbow towards me. It was as if she was going to share a secret. For some reason, I felt drawn in to her. I felt that if anything in this city was on the verge of something special, it was her, and I had only known her for a few minutes. I leaned in close. If it was You, I probably would have thought she was just going to say something silly or flirty...
"Hey, you're even prettier than she said you were, you know that?"
It was something silly and flirty. Of course it was something silly and flirty.
I fell back in my chair, turning away. "That's not exactly tactful with someone you just met, you know?"
"Eh?" she cried, putting her other elbow on the table and tilting her said to the side like a puppy dog, "It's true, though! Besides, we're not strangers - You's my friend, too! And we're even poker buddies already! But I suppose if it embarrasses you..."
Seeing her so dejected wasn't fair. "That's not what I meant," I said, even though it was almost exactly what I meant, even if the sincerity in her voice made me un-mean it, "Thank you. You're not too bad yourself." The last part sort of rolled off my tongue, and I clasped my hands over my mouth as soon as I realized that I was flirting back. Chika just laughed.
"So, then, is it true?" she continued, "What You said? That you haven't played piano for her in sooooo long? I mean, she was right about you being pretty and all, so I figured maybe..."
"I haven't played piano for anyone besides her, either," I said. The idea of it kind of frightened me. I don't know what I was quite afraid of. When your money is as stable as an accountant's, it's easy to convince yourself that fears aren't justified. I had become accustomed to brushing the question off with just a simple 'no' and leaving the dead eyes as the only hint of what I really wanted to say.
"Ah," she said, letting that hang in the air for a second as she sat back in her chair. For a moment, it was as if she saw right through me. She still had the smile on her face, but now it was softer. I felt like I had seen it before, or rather, I felt that it was comfortable. It was a feeling I knew but couldn't recall, as if I had known her for years rather than this one moment. The kind smile felt perfectly in place on the lips of an older sister or a teacher you loved. "It's just... hearing that made me a little sad, is all. I don't know why."
This was the point when You returned, happily setting our drinks on the table and jokingly checking that neither of us cheated at all while she was gone. She grabbed the deck and slid it around the table for a moment, itching to deal as soon as we were ready. Chika still had a bit of the first beer she had when we entered.
"I'm ready," Chika said, with a new energy in her eyes. The hint of a spark that said she knew exactly how this game would play out.
I looked at my junk hand and sighed, asking You for a complete redraw. She glared at me for not having any semblance of a poker face and I ignored it. The new hand wasn't much better, with only a pair of eights.
"All in."
I looked away from my cards, torn away from my thoughts, by Chika's sudden declaration. She had an arm thrown over her chair and all her cards set face down. Her look was serious, and her eyes were burning with gusto as she stared across the table at me.
"Come on, quit joking around," You said, "This is a big game. You can't go all-in on the first turn."
"Sure I can," Chika said with her chin crooked up in defiance, "It's more fun just drinking with someone who's bad at poker than playing them. I want my money now so I can spend the rest of the night buying out the bar." She looked back at me, leaning forward and gently placing a stack of bills on the table. Then, with a cheeky giggle, she grabbed the discarded bottlecaps and threw them on top of the pile like chips. "Of course, if she folds, none of this matters..."
I looked at her, and then down at my hand. When I did, she told me the hand doesn't matter and directed me back to her. She had her hand over her money, as if reaching out to me, asking me to take it. She was testing me, for everything this game is worth. She was putting my pride on the line, rather than the money, and what's more, for a moment, I actually found myself caring. I had never cared about such a silly thing as my own pride before. It was such an elaborate gesture that I couldn't help but get sucked into the moment.
"All in."
I set my cards on the table, face up, before You had a chance to protest. The two of them looked on and saw the pair of eights. You yelled out in panic, grabbing my still completely full beer and asking how much I drank when she wasn't looking. Chika just laughed and laughed. It was infectious, and I almost caught the faint traces of a giggle escaping my own throat. Of course, at that moment, I couldn't laugh because I was so choked up over the fact that I forgot I only had a pair of goddamned eights.
Chika stopped laughing, wiping a tear away from her eye, and she grabbed the hysrerical You's shoulder. "Relax, relax," she said, flipping over her own hand - a pair of sevens. "You won."
You was left speechless for a moment, as Chika playfully grabbed the money in a crumpled ball and shoved it into You's chest, dropping a few bills to the ground in the process before yelping and bending down to grab them before they flew away in the light breeze that filled the room.
"Ahh, man," she said, standing back up and grabbing her drink, taking a long gulp. In my shock, I had only just then realized that I was holding my own drink in my trembling hands - or perhaps I had switched mine with You's and didn't realize - and had taken a few sips. It was already over. Everything with Chika went so fast, it seemed. Nothing in this town went fast.
"I was shaking in my boots! I knew you were cut out for this! I haven't been so excited over a hand in ages!" She kept rambling on and on as I watched You on the ground, having found a stray bill Chika had missed. "You're great! You have a gambler's heart in you - I have to teach you to play for real sometime! Oh, oh! And we should go to dinner! And, oh!"
She slapped her hands down on the table, shaking You's drink and knocking me out of my stupor so I could reach out to make sure it didn't topple. "And... right now, I need to hear your song! After all that, it'll be the second-scariest thing you do tonight, right?"
She finally broke me.
I laughed.
"Fine, fine," I said, setting my drink down and standing up, "But you only get one, okay?"
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so yesterday i finished all for the game for the second time in my life (weird thing i've never read a book or series twice) and it wrecked me for the second time. it was unexpectedly nice that i actually understood everything with so much clarity, but that makes sense i've got lot of practice in reading english since then. also, i wrote my thoughts on the book this time.
i can't understand how a book can have such an impact on me, i hate that and i love it, everything else that crossed my mind is under the cut
★huh andrew really bullied aaron into dressing identical to mess up with neil
★"i don't swing either way" is the phrase that made me feel more valid that the whole queer community ever
★neil is pure nihilism
★how can i EVER forget neil wore a tight long sleeved TORN tshirt that andrew bought this is way too much
★seth is dead and all kevin can think about is the line up tbh i do that often
★they are making a scandal about how they sit
★kevin telling neil "destroy him" filled me with power
★the most unreal part is neil ALWAYS keeping his roots another colour the guy must dye his hair every fucking week
★how did neil buy andrew's promise to protect him from the japanese mafia's professional murderers when the only people he physically bullies is an obsessive young adult with anxiety, a princess in high heels and his sunshine sister in law
★wait a fucking minute andrew saw neil filled with terror while holding the phone and immediately gave him the car keys so he could be alone fuck
★nicky fucking hemmick attended to improv class
★ according to dan few athletes were crude enough to start trouble at an ERC event, you mean as crude as neil?
★how to take care of your teammate while he's in a crisis according to: andrew→show concern and reassure him. wymack→10 seconds of vodka
★"hey, jean. jean valjean" is peak comedy
★the ravens walking in v formation is genuinely the most cringy thing you can think of
★neil first finds out the only possible person to date him is andrew because he was jealous of renee are you kidding me
★andrew only missed 13 from 150 shots on goal for fucking real what a Man
★renee is an angel, she's specifically andrew's angel
★neil truly is a watcher
★bee wearing a bee costume is the only good thing on this world
★dan and matt dressed like greek gods!!!!! they can adopt me already
★can you believe nicky is the one who got into neil's brain and planted the idea of realying on someone, and since then neil actively pursues an investigation on andrew's relationship status how on god's name i missed that HOW he's not even subtle about it damn
★he first worries about renee now about kevin goddamn it josten how can't you se how much you care about him
★it's funny how sexuality is such a heavy topic between them when they sure as fuck have some pretty huge stuff going on you know like dying in the hands of the mafia or being tortured
★i imagine andrew running to renee all bonkers like "listen if the cute guy asks, for fucks sake tell him i'm gay but make it ~casual~ maybe this way he'll get it"
★the sole mention of thanksgiving dinner makes me want to die
★kevin is checking the scores in a newspaper I forget this book is so 00's
★they should have spent the day eating turkey and frozen pie at abby's fuckkkkkkkk
★are you kidding me they are in the middle of a conversation and andrew casually chokes neil a little but it's ok they carry on wtf
★"we are all going to regret this" is the fucking worse piece of foreshadowing in this book
★neil interrogating andrew the same night he was raped what kind of fucking piece of shit does that
★i can't fucking believe neil went ahead and shoved andrew's hand under his tshirt in front of kevin, wymack, betsy and two fucking lawyers are you kidding me
★neil asking "are we? friends?" to nicky is so relatable because i also would have an aneurysm if someone told me i am their friend
★someone else tries to flirt with him and he immediately considers andrew how i was too ace to see it the first time i read
★jesus fucking christ riko is one truly fucked up sociopath and neil is the bravest motherfucker on the land
★how can he face riko like that in the nest and be extremely pure in other occasion
★"are we watching the ball drop? i want to make a wish" he wants to make a wish and i want to die thanks
★i can't believe the whole if it means losing you then no and side effect of the drugs shit it's unreal fucking unreal how oblivious neil is too ace to realize anything SOMEONE JUST CALLED YOU "DREAM" THE LEVEL OF ROMANTICISM
★the amount of heavy staring in this trilogy is ridiculous and all i can think about is twilight
★these books made me see how far from the 00s we are, for many reasons, but mostly for some jokes that can't let slide; like calling neil a battered wife, domestic misogynistic violence is not a joke
★i can't believe from all people, wymack was the first one to get andrew was into neil
★"that doesn't mean I wouldn't blow you" is such a funny phrase to be said casually why is it
★"you are a racoon, not a fox" oh andrew
★it only took andrew admitting he had a crush for neil to be all sentimental and shit, and that disarmed andrew too
★they are like some kind of animal that while you think they are fighting, they are actually mating, that's exactly what nora meant with feral
★half of last book is neil mooning over andrew jfc
★nicky made neil smile while distracting him from riko im gonna throw myself off a cliff
★i can't quite believe neil goes through a detailed monologue about andrews memory the man is impressed and borderline turned on about every talent on his crushe's shelf
★i literally can't follow and will never understand the quarrel/promise/agreement between aaron and andrew what a bunch of pretentious idiots
★every time neil's phone buzzes all i fear is the fucking countdown
★i thought "i want to see you lose control" was a collective fever dream i can't believe it's written on the books
★if i was nicky i already have told andrew to stop his freaky pretentious shit towards me
★neil to the upperclassman: ha ha fellas is it gay to unthinkingly call andrew in the middle of a anxiety breakdown
★"you gave me a key and called it home" is as soft as heartbreaking i want to jump off a cliff
★"i won't be like them, i wont let you let me be" is actually pushing me off that cliff andrews feelings are a fucking storm
★neil was kidnapped and tortured the day of my bday and that's not a coincidence
★neil's talent to twist the truth in order to convince andrew of anything is outstanding
★excuse me they have no right to be this soft i hate them
★they miss so many opportunities to be funny about the whole "protection" thing
★did he really had a mental breakdown over where to fucking sit on the bus lmao
★"don't come crying to me when someone breaks your face" is the second most awful piece of foreshadowing
★lets be honest for a second andrew should be a fucking writer because all those things he says? edgy myspace pretentious poetry
★im sorry but i don't care about literally anything except neil smiling onto andrew's neck bye
★andrew ghosted a kiss across neil's hip im dead for real
★abby kissed neil's forehead farewell after cleaning all his injuries i have no words he's recieving all the affection he deserves
★cant believe you don't see aaron is fucking worried neil is taking advantage of andrew
★i mean yeah ok don't talk love but neil is sad that nicky thinks it was only hate sex, and he immediately acknowledged it meant more than that to him bc his demi btw wtf does hate sex mean i can't believe you hate someone so much you wanna suck his dick
★they all went horseback riding when will i have a group of friends like that
★"who's humanising who in that relationship" i know right nicky
★kevin locking himself to have a panic attack is the most relatable thing
★the car encounter with ichirou holds the same tension as a mr robot scene
★the proposal of playing olympics and being unstoppable feels like marriage or smth
★neil is literally having his hot girl summer
★i adore neil's overflow of emotions after swallowing everything for so many years. represented, thanks.
★andrew terrorising katelyn who the fuck does he think he is what an annoying asshole
★"did you know i've never been skiing" is the most epic line
★i cheer to the sole mention of laila
★alvares can deck me right now and i would say thank you
★"war is profitable" aaron knows what's up
★sometimes i want to slap them is2g
★that scene at eden's where they are all discussing how roland found out and aaron ends up being the only straight one lmao boy it's your punishment for being so homophobic
★the whole "deadliest piece on the board" spech is 100 times better when you consider kevin was wasted and overly exaggerating every word and gesture
★can you imagine those few fans supporting kevin's new tattoo screaming YAAAAASSSSS QUEEEEEEEEEN while snapping fingers i'm cackling
★matt in court body slamming into anyone that's been a problem to the foxes: VIBE CHECK MOTHERFUCKER
★neil kissed andrew in castle fucking evermore the audacity i adore him
#the foxhole court#the raven king#the kings men#all for the game#tfc#it really fucking wrecked me#how can a fucking book do this to me#my thoughts
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Teacher/student AU - ereri week day #2
Another thing happened. God, I think I got carried away with the messages part of the OS? Sorry, but it was really fun to write!!
Rating: General Audience
Fandom: Shingeki no Kyojin
Pairing: Eren Jaeger/Levi Ackerman
Word count: 1727
Additional tags: Alternative Universe - Modern Setting, College Professor!Eren, Student!Levi, College AU, Teacher/Student AU
Summary: One Shot for ereri summer week 2017, Teacher/Student AU
Holydays were always welcomed, but that year in particular they couldn’t have been sweeter than in any other time in his college career.
He usually didn’t move anywhere for the occasion -the dorms remained open and his house back in Trost mostly empty since he and his sister had been old enough to stay on their own. Now, the worst part of his friends had already abandoned the field to migrate back to their families. No Hanji, no Isabel, no Erwin -and that meant PCQ, damn Izzy for twisting his mind with those atrocious acronym. Peace. Calm. Quietness.
Farlan still had work and thus couldn’t follow her to her parents’ house, so the both of them were stuck together for the rest of the year.
Or so his friends believed. They didn’t know much about Levi’s plans, just that he was probably going to spend his free time between the library and his room, maybe to the bar where Farlan worked, too -Isabel had ordered her boyfriend to drag their mutual friend out of his dorm-hole any time he could-, but they were up for a surprise.
Levi was, in fact, packing what he needed to spend his holydays elsewhere. He had waited specifically for them to be gone before delivering the news, so not to be present when hell would inevitably break loose.
His phone kept dinging with incoming messages, and he simply checked his bag and stuff before deeming himself ready to go.
He closed the door to his room with the key and descended the staircase, heading to the reception desk and nodding at Riko’s way.
“I thought you were going to stay here. Going home, in the end?”
“No. I’ll be in town, just not here.”
“Mmh. Suspicious.”
Levi rolled his eyes and didn’t offer a reply. Instead, he left his key on the desk and made his farewells, turning and exiting the building.
He tightened almost immediately his hold on his scarf, shivering slightly. Winter was a bitch, and it came as a typhoon that year (it was probably worst there than in Winterfell, Jon Snow be damned), without giving people in the little Stohess time to adjust to the hard and sudden weather. Levi liked this season of the year, but only when he wasn’t forced to face it -preferably in his warm room, with a cup of tea and a book.
He saw a bench and sat down, arranging his bag next to him and waiting for his lift to come.
Looking down at the phone in his hand, he checked the group chat and got comfortable for what was to come.
Shit for brains [09:27]
Why our leprechaun is not answering?!?!?!
Shit fro brains [09:27]
Do you think he got lost in the city?!?! Maybe he is inside a snowman and some kid is keeping him prisoner!!
Shit for brains [09:27]
Squad Levi to the rescueeee
Red pigtails [09:27]
Hanji! Stop calling him that! You know how annoying he gets! He is going to be fine!
Shit for brains [09:28]
Buuuuuuuut
Red pigtails [09:29]
No. He can take care of himself.
Red pigtails [09:29]
More or less.
Red pigtails [09:29]
How is the Christmas tree’s decoration challenge turning out?
Shit for brains [09:30]
I know what you’re doing, Izzy.
Shit for brains [09:30]
Stop trying to manipulate my attention.
Shit for brains [09:30]
Now.
Shit for brains [09:30]
IT’S GREAT!! You should see it! Never has a Christmas tree had more photos hanging down from its branches than this! It’s beautiful! So many Erwin’s and Levi’s and Izzy’s and Farlan’s, you’re all so cute!!
Red pigtails [09:31]
Well, I guess you won.
Shit for brains [09:31]
Damn hell I did!
Levi was not sure what he was reading, really. How were they his friends he still didn’t know.
Red pigtails [09:31]
You should send us a photo!
Shit for brains [09:32]
I will when I’ll get home!
Shit for brains [09:41]
Do you think Farlan is with Levi already?
Red pigtails [09:43]
Hanji!! Stop torturing him!
Shit for brains [09:43]
I’m not “torturing him”, I’m worried!
Red pigtails [09:43]
We know you, you don’t just “get worried” over Levi.
Shit for brains [09:43]
But he is going to be alone! For Christmas!
Red pigtails [09:43]
Uuh…
Shit for brains [09:44]
Yes!! UUUH!!
Red pigtails [09:44]
Now I’m feeling like a shitty friend.
Shit for brains [09:45]
THAT’S WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT
Shit for brains [09:45]
WHAT HAVE WE DONNNNNNNNEEEEEEE
Levi [09:45]
I can hear your screams from here
Shit for brains [09:45]
LEVI!! MY BEAUTIFUL LITTLE DORK!!
Red pigtails [09:45]
Ehi there, big bro! We were talking about you!
Levi [09:46]
Yeah, I can tell
Red pigtails [09:46]
Sorry, you know how Hanji gets…
Shit for brains [09:46]
LEVI!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Shit for brains [09:46]
ARE YOU ALONE
Shit for brains [09:46]
IS EVERYTHING OKAY?!
Levi [09:47]
Yes, HANJI, please stop whining
Levi [09:47]
Actually
Levi [09:47]
I’m waiting for someone to pick me up
Red pigtails [09:47]
What
Shit for brains [09:47]
WHAT
Shit for brains [09:47]
WHAT
Shit for brains [09:47]
EXPLAAAAIN
Shit for brains [09:47]
OR ELSE I’LL BE YOUR PERSONAL DALEK
Red pigtails [09:47]
It can’t be Farlan, he is working
Levi [09:47]
It’s not Farlan
Red pigtails [09:47]
So
Red pigtails [09:48]
Big bro?
Red pigtails [09:49]
Levi?
Shit for brains [09:51]
LEVI I SWEAR TO GID IF YOU DON’T ANSWER I’M GOING TO GO BACK YO THE DORMS AND SPIT ON YOUR BED
Levi [09:52]
Jesus, you’re disgusting. I was on the phone.
Levi [09:52]
And watch you typing, moron. I’m going to spend the holydays with Eren
Shit for brains [09:52]
EREN? EREN, WHO’S EREN
Red pigtails [09:52]
Omg you didN’T
Shit for brains [09:52]
WHO’S EREN
Shit for brains [09:52]
I’M FEELING LEFT BEHIND
Shit for brains [09:52]
IS HE YOUR BOYFRIEND
Shit for brains [09:53]
LEVI IS HE YOUR BOYFRIEND
Shit for brains [09:53]
I’M SO GOING TO SPIT PN YOUR BED
Shit for brains [09:53]
ON*
Red pigtails [09:53]
Levi tell me you didn’t
Red pigtails [09:53]
I thought you were jocking!!
Shit for brains [09:53]
EXPLAIN NOW I’M GOING MAD HERE
Red pigtails [09:53]
Eren as in Professor Jaeger
Red pigtails [09:53]
He told me he was going to confess but
Red pigtails [09:54]
I didn’t think he was for real!!!!!
Shit for brains [09:54]
OH MY GGGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDD
Shit for brains [09:54]
YOU. DIDN’T.
Caterpies [09:54]
What’s going on here?
Shit for brains [09:54]
ERWIN
Shit for brains [09:54]
THANK GOD
Shit for brains [09:54]
SDKGPOSJKDPOGJHSR
Red pigtails [09:54]
I feel betrayed
Shit for brains [09:54]
LEVI IS GOING TO SPEBD THE HOLUDAYS WITH HIS PEOFESSOR
Red pigtails [09:54]
How could you not tell us?!?! ME?!!!???!
Shit for brains [09:54]
SPEND*
Shit for brains [09:55]
HOLYDAYS*
Shit for brains [09:55]
PROFWSSOR*
Shit for brains [09:55]
PROFESSOR*
Shit for brains [09:55]
SHIT
Red pigtails [09:55]
I can’t believe it
Caterpies [09:55]
Levi? Is that true?
Levi [09:55]
Mh
Shit for brains [09:56]
YOU TRAITOR
Shit for brains [09:56]
HOW COME YOU WAITED SO LONG TO TROLL US?!?!
Shit for brains [09:56]
TELL*
Caterpies [09:56]
I think he did it on purpose, so that we couldn’t say anything to him in person.
Red pigtails [09:56]
OF COURSE HE DID
Red pigtails [09:56]
BIG BRO
Red pigtails [09:56]
YOU SO DON’T WANT TO SEE ME RIGHT KNOW
Red pigtails [09:56]
I’M GOING TO KILL YOU
Caterpies [09:57]
Can someone send me a photo of this Professor of his?
Caterpies [09:57]
Is he much older than you, Levi?
Levi [09:57]
Not by much. He is 31.
Red pigtails [09:57]
AND HE IS HOT. LEVI HAS BEEN DROOLING ON HIM FOR YEARS.
Levi [09:57]
He is not my professor anymore, you know
Shit for brains [09:57]
SO YOU JUMPED ON HIM?
Levi [09:57]
Pretty much, yeah
Red pigtails [09:58]
Omg!
Shit for brains [09:58]
OMG!!!!!!!
Caterpies [09:58]
Mh, congratulations?
Levi [09:58]
Thanks. Gotta go, he’s here.
Shit for brains [09:58]
WERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINJ YOU’RE GOING
Red pigtails [09:58]
YOU JUST NEED TO TRY…
Shit for brains [09:58]
COME BACK HERE
Shit for brains [09:58]
LEVI
Red pigtails [09:58]
DON’T SHUT YOUR PHONE ON US LIKE THIS, YOU DUMBASS!!
Caterpies [09:58]
Have fun, I guess!
Levi hid a smile behind his scarf and turned his phone in silent mode, putting it into his bag when he saw Eren’s car stop in front of the dorms.
He opened the passenger door and got in, slamming it almost immediately to preserve the pleasant warmth of the vehicle.
He turned around and found the older man staring at him with a calm smile, eyes boring into his with too much intensity and nervousness for the distance between them.
“Hi.”
“Hi to you. You’re early.”
“Barely, just a couple of minutes. Besides, you were already waiting outside.”
“What can I say, I was impatient.”
Eren grinned at him.
“To see me?”
Levi wanted to retort with some kind of joke, and as much as he loved playing with Eren’s occasional naivety, I didn’t want to ruin the moment.
“That and spending the following two weeks in a real apartment.”
“I knew you were after my wealth, jeez.”
“It’s not like you’re rich, stupid. If anything, I’m after your body.”
“That’s for sure.”
“Mmh.”
Levi leaned over the console and raised his arms toward Eren, running his hands along the dark green button down’s collar, over his shoulder in a slow, teasing caress, then down on his chest, following his own movements with his eyes, before stopping on his hips. He looked up, smiling at the ardent, breath-consuming gaze Eren was giving him, charging the air around them with a well-known electricity to the couple.
”Are you testing me?”
”Not really. And anyway, it’s not like I would even have to try that hard.”
”True.”
Pulling back, Levi’s hand brushed Eren’s crotch and he heard the sudden intake of breath of the older one. He feigned indifference.
“Let’s go, before I do something very, very stupid in front of my job place and get fired for it.”
Levi’s lips curved upward.
“We wouldn’t want that, yeah. Let’s go.”
Eren breathed in sharply, then turned toward the wheel and started the car.
Waiting for the holydays had been hell, but Levi was finally ready for heaven to come and stay for two, blissful weeks.
#ererievents#ererisummer2017#ereriauweek#teacher student au#day 2#ereri#my writing#OS#i did another thing#still late
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6/50 - “Could you be any louder?”
Fandom: All for the Game
Characters/pairings: the Foxes/andreil, kevin x allison, (aaron x katelyn, matt x dan, renee x jean)
Summary: The Foxes decide to spend spring break together again (sans the freshmen). The walls are thin and Allison doesn’t want to hear any stupidly happy couples screwing.
A/N: Because I saw this post and all I could think of was tfc/aftg. Tbh it’s all I think about these days.
http://maelerie.tumblr.com/post/135803922052/send-me-two-characters-or-more-and-a-prompt-and
**warning for the usual things brought up from the Foxes’ pasts**
It was their second spring break together and would be the girls’ last one with them since they were fifth year seniors. Dan, Matt, Renee, and Allison had decided to rent a cabin again.
Even though they were no longer roommates, or maybe because they were no longer roommates, Neil and Matt kept up with their fighting lessons. Neil showed up just as the upperclassmen decided it might be nice to go to the same place as last time.
“Think Andrew would let you guys come along again?” Dan asked.
“I’ll ask,” Neil said.
“Then it’ll be a definite yes,” Matt grinned.
Neil smiled, a little less socially awkward after nearly two years with the Foxes. “Are the freshmen coming?” he asked.
“God no.” Allison groaned. “Spring break is supposed to be relaxing and fun. It’ll be hard enough with the monsters around.”
All Neil said was, “Okay.” He knew she had a soft spot for them even if she still hated them all. Also, he was pleased they didn’t want the freshmen around as much as he didn’t.
He joined the others in the lounge after his shower and Wymack went over notes for the coming week. He ended with, “Don’t fail your midterms.”
“So?” Allison asked Neil.
“I haven’t asked, yet,” he told her.
“Asked what?” One of the freshmen questioned.
Neil turned to Andrew and spoke in German, “They want to know if we want to join them for spring break like last year.”
“Hell yeah!” Nicky shouted in English.
“It’s not fair when you guys speak in German,” Sheena complained.
Aaron looked at her and said, “If it’s in German, it’s not your business. You don’t hear Kevin complaining.”
“That’s probably because he’s just relieved he doesn’t have to listen to Neil and Andrew’s dirty talk and understand.”
If it wasn’t Exy, Kevin didn’t care so he didn’t respond. Neil ignored the comment and relayed the invitation in French.
Kevin shook his head. “There wasn’t a court last time.” His response was in English.
Neil kept on in French. “Will you go if they find a place with a court?”
“Nobody likes it when you guys speak French either!”
“No one likes it when you speak.” Aaron returned.
Kevin pointed at Allison. “Find a place with a court.”
She glared. “You’re so fucking predictable.”
“Fuck you.”
“In your dreams, asshole.”
One of the freshmen blurted, “You guys are making plans and only inviting half of the team?”
They ignored the freshmen and started for the door. “Aaron?” Dan asked. “You can bring Katelyn.”
This started another round of protests from the freshmen. “She’s not even on the team!”
Aaron shrugged and Dan grinned. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
“Thea can come, too.” Renee said kindly to Kevin.
“No.”
Neil nudged Andrew and got a glare. “So we’re going?”
“Make sure there are enough rooms. I want the one farthest away from them,” he shot over his shoulder.
“Hey, Renee,” Nicky said. “Is Jean coming?”
“Are you kidding me?” Jack yelled when Renee nodded. “He’s on another fucking team!”
Dan/Matt
Kevin/Nicky
Andrew/Neil
Aaron/Katelyn
Allison
Renee/Jean
They left Saturday afternoon. They took three cars since they had two extra people coming along. Matt drove Nicky, Aaron and Katelyn since Aaron still refused to have Katelyn and Andrew in the same space for long. Allison drove Dan, Renee and Jean since Renee wanted to avoid the awkwardness that was Kevin and Jean. Andrew, Neil and Kevin were the last to arrive since they stopped for alcohol.
Neil thought there wasn’t much difference between this place and the one they stayed at last spring. The set up was much the same with one bedroom on the first floor and four on the second. The only difference was there was a loft/attic that acted as a sixth bedroom.
The others had left the first floor bedroom for Andrew and Neil again so Kevin went upstairs to find the room with Nicky’s bag.
Their first day was remarkably similar to their first day last year. The others were already in the hot tub. Nicky helped Andrew mix drinks for the others. Andrew and Neil isolated themselves in view of the others and sipped whiskey.
They ate dinner together then settled on couches and raced to see who could get wasted first. They ended the night with Allison calling out the same warning she had the year before. “The walls are thin! I better not hear any of you stupidly happy couples fucking.”
“I bet if you ask nicely Kevin will keep you warm tonight,” Nicky singsonged.
Kevin shot him a disgusted look at the same time Allison told Nicky, “It wasn’t funny the last five times you said it.”
Late Sunday morning the Foxes slowly convened in the front room so they could head to breakfast together. They talked quietly, most of them hungover, all of them still waking up.
“I’m hungry,” Nicky complained.
“Then go wake up your cousin,” Allison snapped back.
“They have to be awake,” Dan said, eyes closed and head leaned on Matt’s shoulder. “I heard one of them get up to shower this morning.”
Nicky glanced at their door. “If one of them is up, the other is, too, but I haven’t heard a sound from their room. Have you?”
He crossed the room and knocked. There was no answer so he tried the door knob and was surprised to find it was unlocked.
His jaw dropped when he took in the scene before him. Neil was leaned back against the wall, hands in Andrew’s hair, and Andrew was on his knees.
Neil’s eyes snapped open with the door and he spluttered, “Fucking hell, Nicky -” He made a noise Nicky never in a million years thought he’d hear coming from him in real life and struggled to keep his eyes open. “G-get the fuck out!”
Nicky slammed the door in his haste and turned to the others who were looking at him curiously. “I think I just saw Neil enjoying himself while not playing Exy,” Nicky deadpanned and couldn’t keep the grin off of his face.
“You’re lying,” Matt accused but he was laughing like the rest of the team.
“Andrew was -” Nicky mimed giving a blowjob and the others lost it.
“You’re gonna make me puke,” Aaron was perhaps the only one less amused than Kevin.
“They’re so quiet,” Matt looked back at their door.
Allison stood. “Let’s go to breakfast, then.”
The others agreed and stood up. About half of them were out the front door when Andrew emerged from his room.
He grabbed Nicky by the shirt and hissed, “Don’t do that again.” His cousin struggled to hold back his laughter but nodded.
“You look wrecked,” Allison commented and Andrew glared.
“Shut up.” More than a couple of the others snorted. It was hard to take him seriously when his lips were swollen and red, his pupils were so dilated his eyes were almost completely black, and his hair was sticking up in weird angles thanks to Neil’s hands.
Allison only allowed a small smile and said, “It’s a good look on you,” before walking out the door. It wasn’t a lie.
Andrew refused to come out of his room for the rest of Sunday which meant Neil didn’t either. The others left them alone until after dinner.
“They could be having sex,” Nicky slurred, already tipsy. “And we wouldn’t even know.”
“Is it normal?” Matt looked toward their door again. “To be so quiet?”
Renee cleared her throat softly and the others looked to where she was curled up with her feet under her and Jean’s arm around her. “I think that everybody’s different. Different experiences and all that.”
“What?” Katelyn asked.
Aaron groaned but kissed her temple. “If the only experience you have is being raped and having your life threatened if you make a noise, you’re used to being quiet.”
He waited for Katelyn to show she understood. The alcohol made her brain sluggish so it took her a few seconds. “Okay, but what about Neil?”
“I heard him tell Andrew that his mom used to beat him any time she caught him with a girl.”
“Damn!” Nicky laughed and Aaron turned to glare. He had been speaking quietly but hadn’t realized the others had gone silent around him to listen. “I’ve heard of people trying to beat the gay out of you but never have I heard of someone beating someone n-not straight!”
Aaron ignored the others as usual and told Katelyn. “Also, Neil’s a liar. The first nineteen years of his life he spent controlling what other people saw of him. I imagine it’s not easy giving up control after so long.”
“Neil ‘I’m fine’ Josten,” Matt agreed.
“What does that mean?” Jean instinctively looked toward Kevin for an answer.
The others hadn’t really seen the two former Ravens interact except for at the banquets when Riko had a collar around Jean’s neck. They also knew the reason Jean wasn’t playing with the Foxes was because there was too much history between him and Kevin.
They didn’t know what they expected but it wasn’t an open expression and Kevin telling Jean, “Last year, whenever anyone asked Neil how he was or if he was okay he would automatically say, ‘I’m fine.’ Even after he came back from Christmas break he told everyone he was fine.”
Jean nodded at this. He changed to French. “The two weeks he spent with the Ravens he never said how he was doing. Mostly just screaming and groaning.”
“Nobody asked,” Kevin assumed. “Nobody would’ve cared.”
“When we talked, it was mostly about Riko, Exy, and you.”
Riko’s name spiked interest in their conversation even more. Kevin only slightly stiffened. When Jean finally looked at the others he said in English, “I’ve never heard Neil say, ‘I’m fine.’ If I had to give him a name like that it would be Neil ‘fuck you’ Josten.”
His comment lightened the mood again and the others went back to talking about random things. Allison motioned for Dan and Renee to follow her so they got up from their seats. Renee looked at Allison and pointed to Katelyn with her eyes and Allison shrugged. While Dan kissed Matt, Renee went over to Aaron and Katelyn and said, “We’re going upstairs. Care to join us?”
“Sure,” Katelyn looked only slightly surprised. She kissed Aaron’s cheek then let Renee help her to her feet.
“Come on, Dan,” Allison whined. She pulled Dan away from Matt and grabbed the fullest bottle she could on their way to the stairs. Renee brought up the rear in case any one of her tipsy friends decided to trip.
When they reached the attic, they all climbed onto Allison’s bed. Allison and Dan turned to Katelyn.
Her face was already a little flushed from alcohol but blood rushed to her cheeks when Allison asked, “So is Aaron loud?”
“Wh-what?” she stuttered, then laughed a little nervously. “Why?”
“We just got proof his twin’s not.”
“No, we didn’t,” Katelyn said. “We got proof that his twin’s boyfriend isn’t loud.”
Dan nodded. “Yeah, but you heard what Aaron said.”
Allison rolled her eyes. “Okay, but both of them are very controlling. The only time we’ve ever seen Andrew show any personality was on his drugs. After that, nothing. I think it’s safe to say neither of them is able to give up that much control even when they’re getting each other off. I think Andrew’s less likely than Neil.”
Dan giggled and choked on a mouthful of liquor.
“So, back to Aaron,” Allison tried to gesture to Katelyn.
She shrugged and took a gulp from their shared bottle when Dan offered it to her. She grinned and said, “Mostly only when he’s drunk. Otherwise, he’s not. He’s kind of serious and sweet.”
“Aaron? Sweet?” Dan hiccuped. She paused then said, “Last year I would’ve never believed it. But now - now that we’ve seen him around you - Oh, my god! He does have a soft side!”
She said it like a revelation. She turned to Allison. “Do you think Andrew is sweet to Neil?”
Allison blinked lazily up at the ceiling. “I don’t know. Remember when Nicky thought it was just hate sex?”
“Yeah, but they’ve been together for a year now,” Dan took another swig from the bottle.
“I’d be more shocked to find out Andrew is gentle when they’re - do you think they’ve even had sex? I mean, like, besides handies and blowjobs. Like, I’d get it after all that shit with Drake last year.” Allison leaned up on her elbows suddenly to look at Renee. “Does he tell you that stuff?”
“No,” she said and left it at that.
Allison fell onto her back again and dragged Dan with her. Katelyn drank from the bottle and swallowed. Then she said, “Which one of your teammates do you think is the loudest in bed?”
At the same time Dan and Allison answered, “Nicky.” This sent them into a fit of giggles. Renee smiled down at her friends.
“Hm,” Allison hugged Dan and snuggled into her warmth. “Now we know two are quiet, two are loud and one -” She pointed at Katelyn and nodded once in thanks. “Is both.”
She gasped and blurted, “What about Kevin?”
“Someone so uptight has to let loose somewhere, right?” Dan rolled so that she was on her stomach.
“I don’t know,” Renee said and the other women immediately gave her their undivided attention.
When she didn’t elaborate, Allison and Dan both complained.
“C’mon, Renee-nay,” Allison leaned across Dan’s back to tug at her pastel colored tips. “What do you know?”
She pursed her lips. “This doesn’t leave this room,” she finally caved. They waved her off and she spoke quietly, not wanting Jean or Kevin to hear her even though there was an entire floor between them. “Riko decided when Kevin and Jean had sex for the first time.”
“What? Like he fucked them?” Allison shrieked.
Renee shushed Allison and said, “No. He chose the girls for them and was there when it happened. Ravens weren’t allowed to go anywhere without another Raven. Kevin was literally by Riko’s side for most of his life and when he finally left, Jean was.”
Dan grimaced and spoke slowly. “That’s sick. So they were only allowed to have sex if someone else was watching?”
“I don’t think the rules were as strict with the other Ravens but I don’t know. Neil said Riko and Kevin shared a room in one hall and all the other Ravens were in a different hall.”
“But if he was always with Riko, how’d he and Thea get together?”
Renee shrugged, deciding she had shared way too much information for the night.
Allison was on her back again, blinking lazily at the ceiling. She asked, “Is Jean loud?”
Renee’s eyes looked empty. “I imagine it’s a little bit like Andrew’s situation. He learned begging and fighting didn’t make them stop.” She flinched and she was sweet Renee Walker again. “I didn’t mean to say that out loud. We’ve kissed and that’s it. I don’t really know.”
Dan grabbed her hand and squeezed. It was hard to believe Renee when she said she and Andrew were very similar but times when they were reminded of her past and now that they knew a little more about what he had gone through, it was hard to believe she didn’t turn out exactly like him.
“I thought Kevin was gay for the longest time,” Allison admitted, subdued. “Like, I thought it was the reason he couldn’t fully give up Riko.”
“Do you think he was ...” Katelyn wondered. “Is that why you said you don’t know if he’s loud in bed?”
Renee shrugged. “I don’t know. Everyone’s different. Even two people who go through the same situation can react to things differently.”
“Geez,” Dan said. “Sorry, Katelyn. We promise our hangouts aren’t always such downers.”
“It’s interesting,” Katelyn admitted, laying next to Dan . “I know not all the girls on the squad had perfect lives but I feel like we live in a bubble sometimes, you know? I feel like everything I’ve learned about your team is stuff you only see in movies. Abuse, rape, murder. After hanging out with you guys, it’s just something so different hanging out with the squad.”
“I guess after dating one of the monsters, nothing can really surprise you, huh?” Allison’s eyes were closed and she reached out blindly to squeeze Katelyn’s arm.
Dan threw an arm over Allison’s waist and snuggled her face into the side of her neck. “Remember that thing that Neil said? Uh, it-I, um, if we got what we deserved we wouldn’t be foxes.”
“Hm,” Allison sighed, already asleep.
Renee woke up before the sun rose and couldn’t fall back asleep. She turned over under Jean’s arm and studied his face. It was weird, the contrast. She had seen all of her teammates awake and asleep at some point and it never ceased to amaze her.
They all looked so peaceful and it made Renee sad to think that anyone could hurt them. The thought passed through her mind again and she remembered why she couldn’t fall back asleep. She felt guilty.
Jean’s and Kevin’s lives at Castle Evermore were their business and for some reason Renee had shared some of Jean’s and Kevin’s experiences. She wouldn’t want Jean telling his teammates that she had been raped. Yet, she had all but stated that multiple people had forced themselves on him.
Lightly, she pressed a fingertip to his cheek and traced the three she knew was underneath his coverup tattoo. His eyelashes fluttered and he breathed deeply, moving a hand to cover hers. He moved their hands down until he could press a kiss to her palm.
“Morning,” he sighed against her skin and she felt his lips quirk up into a smile.
“I didn’t mean to wake you,” she said softly.
He squinted his eyes open and turned to grab his phone off the nightstand. “You didn’t,” he told her after checking the time. “I always get up now.”
A door opened on the other side of the space separating Dan and Matt’s and Renee and Jean’s rooms from Nicky and Kevin’s and Aaron and Katelyn’s rooms. Quiet footsteps crossed that space and stopped in front of their door.
The knock was light and Renee looked up at Jean before sliding off the bed and going to answer it. She knew who it was going to be but she was still a little surprised.
Kevin leaned against the doorframe, looking slightly surprised to see Renee as well.
“Kevin, good morning,” she said.
“Hi, Renee,” he responded. “Is Jean up?”
She had a feeling he already knew the answer. She opened the door the rest of the way and moved so Kevin could see Jean.
“Neil and I are going to the court.”
Jean sat up. “Meet you downstairs.”
Neil finished tying his shoe before turning back to look at Andrew. “Are you planning on leaving the room today?”
“I might kill Nicky if I do.”
Andrew’s eyes were closed so Neil rolled his eyes and leaned in close. “Yes?”
“Mm,” Andrew hummed. Neil kissed him.
When Neil closed the door behind him he was greeted with an annoyed look from Kevin. He looked at his watch, making sure he wasn’t late, then shrugged it off, knowing Kevin was displeased with Andrew’s failure to join them.
Kevin didn’t move so Neil shot him a questioning look. He looked up at the second floor when he heard a door open. Kevin waited for Jean to get halfway down the stairs before heading outside.
Neil drove them to the court. He would’ve preferred to run but then he couldn’t take his racquets. They started with laps around the court which was nice but slightly smaller than an actual Exy court. They stretched like they usually did at their morning practices with their teams before running through the Raven drills. Kevin let Jean borrow one of his racquets since he and Neil both used heavier racquets more commonly used by backliners and was closer to Jean’s height.
Three hours later other people started showing up at the court much to Kevin’s annoyance. He started collecting the balls into a bucket but he was Kevin Day and he was with Jean Moreau and Neil Josten. He was one of the sons of Exy and now he was the only son of Exy. They had all been marked for Riko’s perfect Court.
Of course he wasn’t able to gather more than a couple balls before someone approached him. Kevin half assed one of his press smiles which was more than enough.
Neil took over collecting balls. Kevin and Jean were media trained; Neil was known for saying controversial things and pissing people off. As soon as he finished collecting the balls, he called out to Kevin.
The boy who was posing for a picture with Kevin and Jean looked at Neil. Kevin motioned for him to come over and Neil tried to wave him off.
It was a repeat of Kathy Ferdinand. Kevin called out in French, “You gave me your game so get the fuck over here. Play nice.”
Jean raised his eyebrows at that. “Really?”
Neil called out, “Fuck you, both.” Kevin and Jean laughed like Neil had made a joke. None of the people there had understood their conversation so they laughed, too.
They posed for pictures and gave autographs for ten minutes before Kevin said, “We better get going. It was great meeting you.”
“Play a game with us!” Someone suggested.
Neil thought Kevin would decline. These people were only playing for fun. They weren’t dedicated enough that Kevin would be wasting his time.
“Sure, one game,” Kevin agreed and Neil gave him a look. “Jean needs to borrow some gear though.”
They headed over to their duffle bags and Kevin muttered, “Stop looking like Nicky just walked in on Andrew giving you a blowjob.”
Neil gaped. “Did you just make a fucking joke?”
They pulled on their helmets and gloves, deciding they’d do a short first-team-to-five-points kind of game. They were just deciding teams when Andrew and Renee showed up.
Neil watched as one man was brave enough (or stupid enough) to try to introduce himself to Andrew. He offered him a hand to shake and Andrew stared at him uninterested. Renee intervened and shook the poor guy’s hand, introducing herself.
Andrew left them and went straight for Neil. He hooked his fingers through the grating of Neil’s helmet and said, “You’ve been gone for more than three hours.”
“Don’t blame me,” Neil couldn’t help but smile knowing Andrew had run five miles to get here. “Blame Mr. Celebrity, Queen Day, over here.”
“I want ice cream,” Andrew said and a piece of sweat-darkened hair fell into his eyes. “Give me my keys.”
“Play a game with us,” Kevin said.
Andrew’s gaze floated over to Kevin. “No.”
“Neil will get wasted after.”
“No, I won’t.”
It was amusing watching Kevin try not to scowl because so many pairs of eyes were on him. “I’ll fill the freezer at the cabin with your favorite ice cream and won’t say anything when you make yourself sick off it.”
“I’m not putting on any gear.”
Jean and Renee joined them, both wearing borrowed helmets and gloves. They each had an arm wrapped around the other. Under her free arm, Renee carried an extra helmet and gloves.
“Here you go,” she smiled at Andrew.
He took it and said, “I’m not guarding your goal.” He crossed the court and went to stand in the opposite goal.
Renee smiled at the other three and said, “I’ll be a backliner for the other team.”
They had more than enough volunteers to fill their team. They ended up having to play three games because so many people wanted the chance to say they played on Kevin Day’s team.
Andrew rebounded most of the balls off of Kevin’s helmet whenever he got the chance. Neil was relieved Renee was put on as Kevin’s mark because she knew what he was like when he was frustrated or upset with Andrew. Whichever striker Jean guarded had a hard time getting the ball at all but their other backliners weren’t very good and their goalie was worse.
After the third game, Andrew walked off the court. Kevin declined another game and Renee made sure to thank everyone she played with. Jean waited and held a hand out to her when she started toward him.
They changed out of their sweaty clothes. Jean gave Renee his clean shirt and she smiled gratefully. He replaced his dirty shirt with his jacket. Neil threw Andrew his hoodie before going into a stall to change.
“I will leave you,” Andrew called so Neil could hear him from his bathroom stall.
“Just like you’ll push me off the roof of Fox Tower.” Neil came out and joined the others.
In the car Jean checked his phone and frowned. “What’d you do to piss off Thea?” he asked Kevin.
Kevin didn’t turn around and he answered in French. “We had an argument about Riko and the Ravens. She didn’t like what I had to say so she dumped me.”
“I thought we convinced her last year that you were telling the truth,” Jean switched to French to humor Kevin.
“She wanted to know more so I told her more. She’ll get over it.” Kevin turned the volume up on the radio to end the conversation. Andrew slapped his hand but didn’t turn it back down.
Andrew parked the car in the farthest parking space possible and told Kevin, “Buy me a spoon, too.”
Jean and Renee went with Kevin. Neil waited until he couldn’t see them through the back window before leaning forward. “Shower when we get back?”
“Not with you.”
Neil kissed the side of Andrew’s neck and murmured, “Why not?”
He didn’t answer. He wouldn’t answer for two reasons: Neil already knew the answer and Andrew wouldn’t admit to weakness.
When the others came back, they filled Andrew’s trunk with ice cream. Renee passed him a pint and a spoon and he ripped the plastic seal off with his teeth. Kevin looked disgusted but true to his word didn’t say anything.
On Tuesday the group went on a five mile hike. It was a loop trail through a densely wooded area. They paired off on the narrow trail talking about anything and everything.
It was one of Neil’s favorite parts of spring break. Their team blended together and “upperclassmen” and “monsters” was scarcely used, if at all. They still argued a lot, but it was over stupid things that normal twenty-somethings would fight about.
Neil hung back until he was bringing up the rear with Andrew. They walked in silence, listening to their teammates laugh and shout.
As they approached a part in the path where sunlight broke through leaves and branches, Neil nearly toppled over the side of the trail. Andrew’s grip on his hand tightened and to anyone who looked back at them it would seem that Andrew only grabbed Neil’s hand to stop him from falling. In truth, Neil had tripped because he wasn’t expecting Andrew to hold his hand with all of the others around.
He looked at Andrew, hair and eyes unnaturally pale in the sunlight. Andrew stared back, mouth straight, eyes only Neil could read as defiant.
“Aw,” Nicky cooed and the couple’s attention snapped forward.
Andrew dropped his hand and Neil glared at Nicky for ruining this moment. Katelyn was peering over his shoulder at his phone.
“This is a great picture,” she said. “Dan will want to put it on the wall.”
“I will kill you,” Andrew fixed Nicky with a look.
Nicky rolled his eyes but forced his way to the front of the group as he yelled, “What’s new?”
Four miles in Allison stopped.
“Where’s Dan?”
The others looked between themselves and shrugged. Neil frowned. “Matt’s missing, too.”
“Oh,” Allison smirked.
“We should go look for them,” Neil said.
“Dan and Matt are missing together,” Nicky emphasized. When Neil still looked confused, he said, “They’re probably doing the straight person nasty.”
The others groaned. “Do you always have to call it that?”
“What if they’re actually hurt?” Neil didn’t look convinced. “We’re in the woods. One of them could have twisted an ankle or fallen.”
“They’re fine,” Allison put her hands on Neil’s shoulders. She breathed in deeply through her nostrils. “Fine. Let’s go everyone!”
The others protested but they all headed back the way they came calling out to their ‘lost’ teammates.
They didn’t have to go far before they heard Dan moaning and Matt grunting through a patch of trees. The others tried to keep straight faces. Aaron was the first to turn away.
“Happy?” he asked. “They’re fine.”
“More than fine,” Renee agreed, taking Jean’s hand and following Aaron and Katelyn.
The others started to follow but Neil stood frozen in place. He felt the burn in his cheeks.
“Neil?” Kevin looked over his shoulder when he didn’t hear them following behind.
“Wh-why?” he stuttered. “Why would anyone want to do th-that out here?”
Nicky put a hand over his heart and sighed. “Oh, you sweet, sweet boy.”
Andrew shot him a warning look and Neil glared. “I’m serious.”
“Andrew, take Neil about a mile back and show him why.” Nicky winked.
“No.”
Nicky laughed. Andrew took Neil’s hand and dragged him along in the opposite direction from the others. Neil looked back and forth between the cousins.
“Have fun, you two!” Nicky called.
“Andrew, stop,” Neil said. He immediately loosened his grip and waited. “We’re not actually going to - like, we’re not going to do whatever Matt and Dan are doing, are we?”
Andrew shrugged.
“I don’t want -” Neil sighed.
“What?” Andrew demanded, impatient, not angry.
“Our first time to be in the mud,” Neil finished, rushed, eyes locked on Andrew’s.
Neil could have sworn Andrew nearly smiled. “Can I blow you in the mud?”
He wasn’t Andrew so he grinned, suddenly at ease. “Can I blow you?”
The upperclassmen wolf whistled when Andrew and Neil finally returned from their eight mile hike. Andrew ignored them and went straight to the porch, pulling out his pack of cigarettes.
“So now do you understand why people do that out there?” Matt smiled knowingly at Neil.
“No,” Neil tried to keep a straight face. He turned to Nicky, “Thanks for pissing off Andrew.”
“Anytime.” Nicky winked.
Neil crossed his arms. “Stop winking at me. I had to walk an extra three miles because Andrew refused to finish the hike with you guys.”
Nicky frowned. “You mean you guys didn’t -”
Neil shrugged and went to find Andrew. When he joined him at the railing, he leaned in close and asked, “Yes or no?”
“Yes.” Andrew exhaled his lungful of smoke in Neil’s face.
Neil closed the distance, smiling as the taste of Andrew on his tongue was replaced with the more familiar taste of his cigarettes.
“Smells like rain,” Dan commented as she came out of the bathroom toweling her hair dry. “Did Neil and Andrew come back, yet?”
The others pointed around a table, through the archway toward the sliding glass door. Dan tilted her head.
“Guess they didn’t get enough of each other out on the trail.”
“Do you think Neil’s only allowed to touch Andrew’s hair?” Matt asked, not able to drag his eyes away.
“Five dollars - yes,” Nicky responded.
Allison shook her head. “Fifty for no.”
“I’m with Nicky,” Matt said.
“Oh, honey.” Dan plopped down next to Matt. “You boys are so wrong. Fifty for no.”
“Are you going to bet?” Jean asked Kevin.
The others immediately started protesting. “That’d be unfair.”
“Kevin has an unfair advantage. He shares a room with them. He spends extra time with them on the court.”
Kevin glanced at the others. “We go to the court to play Exy and run drills. I see what the rest of you see.”
“Liar.”
He shrugged, unaffected.
Dan groaned at the sunlight coming in through the window. She pressed her naked body closer to Matt’s, one leg thrown over his thigh, and kissed his chest.
“Good morning,” he whispered, his lips pressed to the top of her head.
“Ugh, five more minutes.” She stretched against him before curling up again.
They had been up late, talking, drinking, betting. Despite Kevin’s protests they all went out and tossed a ball around in the rain.
“Ok-” Matt started to agree but a loud clatter had them both shooting up in their bed.
They exchanged looks and paused, waiting to see if a fight would break out. They heard Allison give a shout and Dan was out of bed in a split second, pulling on shorts and a tank top.
She ran downstairs accompanied by a few other bedraggled Foxes. Neil was the first to reach Allison since his and Andrew’s room was on the first floor.
“What’s going on?” Dan crouched next to Allison who had sunk to the floor and pulled her legs up to her chest.
“That fucking asshole motherfucking cunt,” she seethed through her teeth. She was glaring at the pieces of her cellphone across the room. She was yelling and angry but Dan could see how she held back her tears. “Fuck him!”
“Allison,” Renee said from the stairs. “What happened?”
Allison turned to look at the others behind her. “He fucked a Vixen.” She fixed Katelyn with an accusatory stare and Aaron grabbed his girlfriend’s hand defensively.
“Who did?”
“My good for nothing virgin ex-boyfriend. Ha!” Allison’s laugh was humorless. “Ex-virgin ex-boyfriend, if he really was one. There’s a video and everything.”
Kevin emerged from the bathroom, hair wet.
“Get your laptop,” Allison told him.
“Why?” Kevin asked, dully.
“Because I fucking said so!”
His expression went from bored to angry but before he could say anything, Dan said tiredly, “Just do it, Kevin.”
Dan insisted they do whatever Allison wanted for the rest of the day which mostly meant sitting on couches and piles of blankets, drinking. Whenever Allison sent him a pointed look, Neil took a sip of his drink.
Soon enough even Neil was feeling warm and light. It was only one in the afternoon.
They spent the first hour listening to Allison talk shit about her stupidly tall basketball playing ex boyfriend. The conversation slowly moved on to worst breakups - personal and in the celebrity world.
Nicky pulled up a list on his phone and the Foxes made bets as to which breakup was number one. They were all wrong.
“Number one,” Nicky read aloud. “Kevin Day and Riko - uh.”
The group fell silent. Finally Jean said, “Go on. Finish the article.”
Nicky looked stunned but obliged when Kevin said nothing. “They may not have been an actual couple, though some fans dispute this claim - but many will agree the breakup of the sons of Exy was a horrible one. Inseparable from the time that Kevin was adopted by Riko’s uncle and cofounder of Exy, there was mass hysteria among Exy fans when it was discovered that not only did Kevin break his hand but also that he would be leaving the Raven’s for the last-ranked Foxes. Kevin only continued to add to the confusion over a year later when he implied something else had happened to his hand that conflicted with the original statement offered by the Ravens.”
“Stop,” Neil said. “We all know what happened. This is just some stupid recap.”
“I need another drink,” Matt said.
“Nicky, what was that drink you made yesterday?” Dan asked.
Nicky got up, only a little wobbly. “Aaron has dust, right?”
Aaron reached into his pocket and pulled out some packets.
“When did you get that?” Neil questioned.
He shrugged and handed them to Nicky. Andrew got up and went outside to smoke.
“Neil?” Renee offered a packet to him but he shook his head. She gave them to Kevin instead.
Nicky returned fifteen minutes later, using a circular pan as a tray. “I made one for everyone!”
The bright blue drinks got passed around as Dan enthusiastically insisted, “You have to try it! It’s the best drink ever.”
A glass was shoved into Neil’s hand as he stared toward the porch at Andrew. Allison wrapped an arm around Neil’s neck and hoisted her glass toward the center of their deformed circle.
“Fuck cheaters!”
The others echoed her toast and sipped their drinks. Neil grimaced a bit but took another sip. Even he had to admit it tasted better than most alcoholic beverages.
He accepted the shot Allison messily poured for everyone and toasted the “lying bastard” before tipping his shot back like the others. He hadn’t finished Nicky’s first drink but another was passed to him anyway - pink and glittery.
“Why is it sparkling?” he asked, his tongue starting to feel heavy in his mouth.
“Edible glitter!” Nicky yelled over the music that had been turned up once Allison started pouring shots. “It makes everything better!”
Neil barely tasted the second drink. The sun was setting outside and the lights were blurry inside.
“Drink!” Allison called from where she was dancing with the other girls. They all obliged.
Neil was three quarters through the glittery pink drink when he felt someone behind him. He startled, trying to blink the haziness from his eyes.
“How much did you drink?”
“Andrew!” Neil twisted around and pulled Andrew’s hands so he could sit next to him. He started to crawl into his lap but paused. “Is it okay if I -?”
Andrew reached around him and picked up a glass. He kept his other hand on Neil’s hip as he took a sip.
He licked his lips and Neil watched, mesmerized. “Dust.”
“What?” Neil sat up quickly.
“You’re all high,” Andrew stated.
Neil’s brain slowly processed that information. “You’re not?”
He was rewarded with an annoyed stare. “You told me no more.”
“Well,” Neil thought, still staring at Andrew’s lips.
“Well, what?” Andrew snapped his fingers and Neil realized he’d been reaching a hand up to touch his lips.
“You should tonight.”
Andrew shook his head.
“An exception,” Neil insisted. His head felt heavy so he leaned it against Andrew’s shoulder, feeling himself go crosseyed trying to keep his gaze on his mouth. “I had some so it’s okay if you do, too.”
“Not tonight.”
“Can I kiss you?” He saw the hesitation. “We won’t do anything else but I want you to kiss me.”
Andrew looked around the room.
“No one cares. They’re all high,” Neil reminded him.
He stood up and Neil pushed his bottom lip out, prepared to pout. Then Andrew helped him stand and he smiled. “Yes?”
“Yes.” Andrew told him and Neil went in too quick. Their teeth clacked and Andrew hissed, forced himself to unclench his tight grip on Neil’s wrists. “Not here.”
“Why not?” Neil knew he sounded pathetic but he couldn’t help himself. He almost never drank and now he was on drugs, too.
“Hey, when’d you come back?” Matt asked on his way to the kitchen.
Andrew stared at Matt’s retreating back as if that was Neil’s answer. It was but Neil’s brain wasn’t working enough for him to comprehend why.
“Kiss me?” Neil said, question mark at the end.
“Not here,” Andrew repeated.
“If we go to our room, I’ll just want you to fuck me,” Neil said, exasperated. He tried to pull himself free but Andrew ended up having to steady him again.
Nicky, Allison and Dan were close enough that they called out obscene support.
Andrew tensed and Neil tried to take a step back. “Never mind. We don’t have to,” Neil slurred and tried to backtrack. “We can just be here. Not touching. I want to kiss you but it’s okay if you don’t want to kiss me. I shouldn’t have - like, I’m high? And drunk? And high? I want you to be okay and if that means -”
A hand shot out and Neil stumbled forward. It took him a moment to react but then he registered Andrew’s hand clutching the front of his shirt and his lips moving against his.
Neil kissed him back, then put a hand between them. “You don’t have to.”
“I want to,” Andrew growled and grabbed Neil’s hand, bringing it to the back of his head. He turned them so Neil’s back was to the wall, fingers digging into his hips. He nipped at his lip then pulled back just enough to study Neil’s face. “Yes or no?”
Neil blinked his eyes open, confused as to why he wasn’t being kissed anymore.
“Yes or no?”
He realized Andrew needed to be extra sure when Neil was in this state and said, “Yes.”
He loved that Andrew put everything into kissing him, even now - especially now and he moaned. Andrew bit his lip in warning so he tightened his grip in his hair.
Some of the others started wolf whistling and cat calling. Neil didn’t notice until he felt the lack of pressure on his right hip. He opened his eyes and saw Andrew flipping them off. They laughed and Andrew stopped kissing Neil.
“Stop!” Neil nearly whined but caught himself. He tried to remember who he was without the extra stuff running through his veins. He forced an edge into his voice. “You’re ruining everything!”
The others laughed harder, Neil knew he had failed, and Andrew took a step back, forcing Neil to release his grip. Andrew shot the others a cool look before walking toward the porch.
Neil quickly sank to the floor and pulled his knees up to his chest to hide his arousal. “Sometimes I really can’t stand you guys,” he muttered.
“Aw, Neil!”
“Fuck off, Nicky.”
Kevin didn’t know how he found himself alone with Allison but here they were outside in the cold night, both drunk and both recently single. She tipped her head back and finished her drink before saying, “Being cheated on rea-really sucks.”
Any other night Kevin would have just ignored the comment. Tonight he said, “I wouldn’t know. You can’t be cheated on if you’re not allowed to be in a relationship and everybody is fucking everybody.”
“How could he cheat on me?” Allison was still whining and still drinking.
Kevin sipped his drink and said, “You’re annoying as fuck.”
“What?” she tried to glare at him. “I’m fucking hot as fuck, I’m beautiful, I have great boobs and I’m fucking good at fucking. Fuck!”
“Hm,” Kevin shrugged.
Allison stepped closer. “What’s that supposed to mean? Queen Day. You’re the most condescending asshole I’ve ever met and you’ve seen my father! You’re the fakest - stupidest, dumbest person ever. You needed a short little psychotic midget to protect you. You’re incapable of loving anything but Exy and yourself! No wonder Thea dumped you.”
“Thea dumped me,” Kevin was over enunciating to avoid slurring and tripping over his words like Allison. “Because she didn’t like the idea that I was telling the truth when I said Riko had her teammates fu -”
He turned away suddenly. “Fuck you.”
Allison grabbed his arm. “No. Fuck you. I’m amazing.”
Kevin looked at her, an eyebrow cocked. “Ha.”
The next morning Kevin woke up to the sound of Allison puking over the side of her bed. He shot up, ripped the sheet off of her to wrap around his waist and ran downstairs. He ignored stares from the others as he tripped into the bathroom, barely managing to get the toilet lid up before he emptied the contents of his stomach.
Allison appeared a few minutes later, wearing Kevin’s shirt from the night before inside out, sprinting for the other bathroom. Nicky leaned against the doorway to the bathroom by his and Kevin’s room and wrinkled his nose. “What’d you guys do last night? Rob a liquor store?”
Kevin flushed the toilet and kept vomiting.
“Renee gathered the clothes you two discarded on your way up to - ugh,” Nicky shuddered.
Kevin flipped him off and Nicky laughed, closing the door to the bathroom.
Matt, Nicky and Aaron kept driving even when Allison’s and Andrew’s cars pulled off at the first gas station. Allison groaned and said, “I think I’m still drunk.”
Neil went inside and came back out a few minutes later. He stopped by the pink Porsche and Renee rolled Allison’s window down. “Shut up.” Allison commanded even though no one was saying anything.
He handed over a couple of water bottles, something for her headache and a few plastic bags (”just in case”), then got back into Andrew’s car, presumably giving Kevin the same. The passenger door opened and they heard the splash of sick hitting the pavement.
“Ugh,” Allison groaned, holding her stomach. “Get me away from him.”
Renee obediently pulled out of her parking stall and got them on the road again. The drive was a few hours long so they let Allison try to sleep off her hangover. Dan and Katelyn dozed as well as none of them had gotten much sleep the night before.
An hour out from Palmetto Dan’s phone buzzed and she answered it sleepily. “Hello? Hm? Yeah. Tell them -” She got Renee’s attention. “How long?”
“One hour.”
“One hour. Love you. Yeah, I’ll call Neil. Love you.”
Dan selected Neil from her contacts and waited for him to answer. “Just a reminder to dress nicely.”
The freshmen had agreed to shut up about not being invited on their spring break plans if the upperclassmen treated them to an expensive meal when they got back. They stopped at another gas station to change and Andrew’s car pulled in not far behind them.
Kevin and Allison reached the doors at the same time and they stopped to glare at each other before going inside. Renee wrapped her arms around Jean’s waist and sighed. “Think this will be a problem for our team?”
“No,” Jean said honestly. “Kevin would never let anything as trivial as a one night stand with someone he hates get in the way of his game.”
When they arrived at the restaurant the freshmen and Matt’s car were already there. They joined them at a group of tables pushed together. Nicky had made sure to save the end spots for Andrew and Neil.
“You guys look exhausted.”
“That’s because somebody woke us up in the middle of the night and kept us awake for quite awhile,” Dan said without any heat.
“A couple of somebodies,” Nicky smirked.
The freshmen looked around at the others’ faces trying to figure out who they were talking about. Katelyn laughed. “Dan came out of her room because she thought she was going to have to break up a fight.”
“What convinced her it wasn’t?” someone asked.
“She tripped over Allison’s bra,” Katelyn giggled.
“Shut up before I tell everyone what you said about Aaron in bed,” Allison threatened through her teeth.
Aaron shot Allison an annoyed look but he turned and raised his eyebrows at his girlfriend. Katelyn blushed and shook her head.
“I’m sure Allison was only doing it for science,” Dan mused.
“Fucking Kevin was a science experiment?” Nicky’s jaw dropped. He winced. “Don’t kick me, Kevin.”
“What?”
“Kevin and Allison?”
“I thought they were both seeing other people?”
Kevin continued fixing Nicky with a loathsome stare. When someone brought up cheating Allison whipped around. “I am not the cheater,” she seethed.
“But how?” Sheena questioned. Everyone looked between Allison and Kevin, legitimately confused.
Finally Allison stated, rushed, “Because we were so wasted his face was blurry.”
“Oh, I’m sure you guys knew who you were fucking. Also, we all know it’s not his face that’s hard to handle. The amount of bickering between was enough to know you knew. Never mind the ‘fuck, Kevin, god.’” Nicky mocked.
“Kevin always talks shit,” Jean offered, maybe thinking he was helping by offering a fact that negated Nicky’s statement that the bickering is what gave them away.
“Not surprised,” someone said.
Nicky looked at Allison. “So really, how the fuck did that end up happening?”
“Have none of you ever been cheated on?” Allison demanded. “You choose the best looking guy around and fuck him.”
“But you and Kevin?”
Allison groaned. “God, Nicky. We were wasted and both recently dumped. That’s enough. End of story. It won’t ever happen again. Mind your own fucking business, you creep.”
“Okay, okay, okay,” Nicky conceded. “Just one more question though because I mean damn! I thought I was loud but, could you be any louder?”
#aftg#tfc#andreil#kevin x allison#FUCK i'm so sick of looking at this#parts may be a tiny little bit ooc#i was tired when i tried to finish this#so it might not make sense#i feel . like it is a little incomplete#i'M SORRY#i should read through this once more#BUT I'M NOT GONNA#I DONT CARE ANYMORE
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Happy Birthday, You!
You and Chika make out and it doesn’t quite work. Also, Riko is there and they play Monster Hunter
Word count: 2k-ish
Rating: A bra comes off, but it’s mostly just kissing and talking and get a girlfriend, Riko
The air in Chika's room could have crushed two whole Rubies. You and Riko stared at Chika, face obscured by shadows, while they waited for the results. Had their hard work paid off? Was it for naught?
Chika cautiously opened an eye and glimpsed at the screen. Her face lit up.
“Plate! I got one! I finally got one!”
You and Riko sighed. They'd been farming this monster for a good three hours for the one drop Chika had still needed. Both of them already had like three, but they couldn't trade even though they didn't need it themselves. Now Chika could finish her armor set with the built-in skills she'd been searching for the entire game. They could fight other monsters again and… stock up on bugs and honey and antidotes.
Riko checked her phone. “Ah, it's so late! I should get going!” She grabbed her bag and got up. Snack crumbs rained to the floor (Chika's fault). “See you tomorrow, okay? Don't stay up until morning, Chika.” It wasn't even midnight yet.
“Eeehhh?! But I wanna chat with You~!”
Riko giggled. “Good night, Chika.” In a gentler voice she added, “Good night, You.”
You kind of grinned a bit too much and felt bad about it. “Yeah, good night!” She loved hanging out with Riko, but right now she was so relieved Riko was leaving.
Riko made her exit and about a minute later they heard her footsteps outside. You closed the window. Time for some peace and quiet, by which she meant absolutely no peace and quiet because she was alone with Chika.
“Hey, Chika, wanna finish with an arena quest?”
She'd already switched off the game, though. “Riko would get mad at us. And…” Chika offered You a playfully bashful glance. “You were waiting for us to be alone, right…?”
“U-uh, yeah…” She sat down next to Chika. They'd been dating for a while now and every time they had a moment to themselves they ended up all over each other. But chastely. Maybe a boob was touched. It hadn't really changed much from before, which made it comfortable, but…when You's mind wandered… “You caught me.”
Chika rested her head on You's shoulder. Softly, she said, “Should we ask Riko to give us more alone time?”
You shook her head. “No, I think it's fine the way it is right now.” No question Riko would understand, but the thought of pushing Riko away, especially when she lived next to Chika and so was already nearby the whole day, made You's stomach hurt. She kissed Chika's temple. “We'll just have to make the most of the time we do have.”
“Mmh.” Chika hugged You's left arm and kissed her on the chin.
You leaned downward and their lips met. Chika's kisses didn't make You's heart race, but calmed her instead. Chika was like home. When she smiled during a kiss, You couldn't help but do the same. Sticking to this could be enough for them. They didn't need to go any further, even if that thought had its charm.
Chika lowered her gaze. “You, um… You mentioned you wanted to try more things together, right? Like… more touching?”
You clenched her first in gratitude. No way she was gonna refuse. “If you want to, yeah.”
Chika tightened her grasp on You's arm. Her softness, all over her, made You's face glow. “Yeah, I…” She giggled. “I like when you touch me. You're always so gentle and sweet.”
You swallowed, and pulled Chika up. They sat on the bed, more on than next to each other.
“Hey, can I be a little selfish?” Chika asked.
“Of course.”
Chika's lips wriggled for a moment before she spoke. “Could you take off your clothes?”
They were going for it, huh? “Y-yeah, sure.” You turned away a bit and slipped out of her pajama top. In the corner of her eye Chika unbuttoned hers. A little extremely distracting. You tried to ignore Chika's gaze on her and tossed her shorts on the floor. Chika's pajamas followed.
Her blood pumping, You turned back around to take all of Chika in, but was caught in a hug instead. Feeling Chika's skin on hers, warm and soft and real, gave You goosebumps. Chika clearly knew. She was the same, though.
Chika loosened her embrace and, with her arms crossed behind You's head, gazed deeply into You's eyes. A giggle escaped through her nose. “I love you~” She kissed You's cheek.
“I love you too.” They almost grinned too much to kiss. Chika gave her a tiny lick, which she'd noticed You liked, then did it again and again. That wasn't going to stop You, though. While her arm moved to Chika's back and pulled her closer, You nipped Chika's lips, but because Chika had just stuck out her tongue, You ended up sucking on its tip for a brief moment.
Chika shuddered, still all smiles. “That was so weird.”
“Yeah…” She didn't mind, though. You's free hand slid down Chika's shoulder and found its way to her boobs. She gave it the slightest squeeze through the fabric of Chika's bra (white, a red flower pattern, very cute). “How's this?”
“Can't tell yet~” Her fingers played with the locks on the back of You's head. You loved the ticklish feeling of Chika's fingers in her hair and on her scalp.
“Should I take it off?” You asked.
Chika paused for a moment. Pondering her answer, she looked down, except You could tell Chika was just staring at You's boobs. Her face flush, Chika met You's gaze. “Yeah.”
You made quick work of it and helped Chika slip out. She kissed Chika painfully slowly and half an eternity later dared to let her gaze wander. She almost teared up. “You're so pretty.”
“L-look who's talking…” Chika pulled You closer. Between kisses Chika managed to whisper, “You, please touch me.”
She wasn't going to make Chika wait. You's hand slid up Chika's waist, her ribcage, until she felt the familiar softness of Chika's boobs. While her other hand grabbed Chika's hips, as if she were ever going to move away, You checked Chika's reaction to her every touch. Holding her like this made Chika smile, squeezing gently earned a soft sigh, running fingers over her skin tightened Chika's embrace.
You made sure to get a good look of Chika's face and brushed a careful fingertip against Chika's nipple. Chika shut her eyes and held her breath.
“Chika, relax,” You said. Chika nodded, and You waited a bit before trying again. When You touched her, Chika hid her face in the crook of You's neck. The slightest contact made her tense up. You wasn't used to such reactions from Chika. “How are you feeling?”
Chika took deep breaths and looked at You. “I, I don't like this.”
That wasn't what she'd wanted to hear. You tried to keep the lump from filling her throat. Was she hurting Chika? “Wh-what exactly?”
“When you touch me… there, it's… it's too much. It's scary, You.”
“O-oh.” Making sure to avoid any sensitive spots, You rubbed Chika's upper arms, now a little cold to the touch. “Um. Wanna stop?” You immediately needed to kick herself for putting it like usual; she didn't want to egg Chika on, but hear her honest opinion.
Chika lowered her head. “Yeah… Thanks, You.”
“For what?” You ruffled Chika's hair and wrapped a blanket around her shoulders. This would help, right? Chika's fragile voice was breaking You's heart and she couldn't take it much longer.
“For being so nice.”
“Why wouldn't I be? I love you. It wouldn't make me happy if you just went along for my sake.” You pulled Chika on her side and snuggled up. Chika shivered. “Chika, I love you.”
Chika shook her head, then, very obviously, forced a smile. “Well, we can always try again.”
Something wasn't right and You felt like she got punched. Was Chika blaming herself? Did she regret it? “Chika… You're right, we can try again whenever we want to. We can take our time together and try different things and we'll find something that you like, okay? Even if we only ever kiss, I'm already more than happy enough right now.” Tearing up at Chika's discomfort, You grabbed Chika's hand, which squeezed back. “Maybe we were just too excited today. Maybe we need to get used to it. Okay? So… please don't feel like you've let me down or something.” You was losing her own confidence now, too. She hated this, she'd never wanted to make Chika feel like this. You kissed her and Chika's eyes regained a bit of their sparkle. “I meant what I said. I love you, Chika. So… Okay?”
Chika buried her face in You's chest, which dampened from her tears. You caught a few mumbled thank-yous and I-love-yous, but mostly Chika just cried. It still hurt to see Chika like this, but at least she was slowly getting better.
When Chika had calmed down, You planted kisses on her forehead and returned her bra – Chika didn't like sleeping without one. She helped Chika put it on. “We're in this together, Chika. Don't feel bad by yourself, okay? You can always talk to me. I'm your girlfriend.”
Chika kissed her, with either caution or exhaustion, and intertwined her fingers with You's. “Thanks. You know, um, I want to try lots of different things with you. Not just… this. I want to shine with you, wherever we go. With our friends, and when it's just the two of us. It has to be with you. I, I love you so much, so… I wanna give it another try some time, if that's okay with you.”
You pulled Chika close and stroked her hair. She felt like she could breathe again. As long as she was together with Chika, they could handle everything. “Let's get some sleep, okay? Tomorrow I'll kiss you lots more.”
Chika giggled and finally relaxed in You's arms.
You closed the inn's door behind her and inhaled deeply. She loved the sound of this door – it reminded her of her childhood with Chika and her sisters. The morning air felt cool on her skin. Birds chirped all around her. She'd only planned to stretch for a bit, but maybe she'd go for a jog. She needed tell Chika first, though.
A familiar figure walked up from next door. “Good morning, You,” Riko said. She smiled, but she was also fidgeting like she struggled to say something difficult.
“Good morning! Wanna join me on my morning run?”
“A-ah, no, I'm good, thanks… So, uh…” Glancing off to the side, Riko tried to hide her grin and failed horribly. “Did you… have a good night…”
It took a moment to register, then You burst out laughing.
“H-huh? I thought… You looked so… Ummm…!”
“Riko, you really need to get yourself a girlfriend,” You said and poked Riko's shoulder.
“Wha… hey! I, I'm working on it! Okay! …Kind of…”
“Speaking of girlfriend,” Chika added before hugging You from behind, “don't run off when breakfast is already done! Geez!” You hadn't even noticed the door opening.
“Haha, sorry, Chika, it's so nice outside today. Riko, wanna join us?”
Riko looked back and forth between them. She graced them with the smile of a holy mother blessing her children. “Sorry, I'm actually meeting someone in a bit.” She gave them both a hug and answered their questioning looks with “I am working on it.”
“What is she working on?” Chika asked when Riko was out of sight.
You kissed Chika just long enough to make her want more, which was very short. “This.”
Blushing, Chika grabbed You's hand and pulled her back to the inn. “When we've had breakfast… maybe we could also work on it…”
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can u do kevineil and renison plslllsls ily
sure buddy sorry it took me a sec (I’ll do kevineil here and renison in a separate post :))
SEND ME A SHIP AND I’LL TELL YOU…
who is more likely to hurt the other?
dude this is a toss up because they’re both such BITCHES
like neil is a button presser and he pushes kevin to push himself and he doesn’t realize kev’s limits emotionally BUT kevin doesn’t get neil’s limits physically, and he def works him too hard?? they both canonically cycle through hurting and helping tbh
who is emotionally stronger?
I think Neil has the upper hand bc of his iron fucking will, while kevin’s still a little shaky on standing up for himself when it matters (neil! does not have this problem!). So I think they both have huge fractures in their emotional stability but Neil comes back swinging and Kevin breaks
who is physically stronger?
you best believe they fight about this once a week but it’s kevin
he’s got killer strength in both arms and he’s been intensively training for that little bit longer, aware of what exy could make or break for that little bit longer so he’s jacked
neil is strong but small and lightweight mostly and kevin could beat him in an arm wrestle even if neil used both his arms :/
who is more likely to break a bone?
this is maybe the funniest shit i’ve ever heard ‘who’s more likely to break a bone, the butcher’s son or kevin ‘i’ve never been skiing’ day’
who knows best what to say to upset the other?
when they argue cities are wiped out pal like two men enter one man leaves it’s brutal but tbh it’s always gonna be neil? like it just is. kevin can spit whatever hateful ‘motivation’ he has shoved up his sleeves but neil knows just where kev lives and he’ll go for the kill shot every time
who is most likely to apologize first after an argument?
it’s neil I think?? they’re both stubborn as fuck but I think neil gets so harsh that he scares himself, and he also knows how terrified kevin can be when he’s threatened so like. he’ll feel real bad real quick. In canon he was so pissed at kevin for being a coward, but the longer they’re together the more he realizes that kevin’s just surviving like neil has been his whole life, it just looks different. (after that he starts apologizing by climbing into kevin’s bed or sliding him a shot of vodka or grabbing his gear and kevin’s hand and going to the court)
who treats who’s wounds more often?
like definitely kevin treats neil’s because neil is a gd disaster and kevin wants him FIXED and WHOLE forEVER but also consider Neil grabbing kevin’s bad hand and working the tension out of it?? Checking on him after games bc kevin goes too hard and kevin calls him a hypocrite and then they probably fuck
who is in constant need of comfort?
in a truly shocking turn of events it’s both of them, and the overlap in their nightmares is something that binds them together. Remember kevin’s awkward little offer for help after riko?? and how touched neil was??? Like that’s how it goes a lot of times. They talk out their common ground and tear each others nightmares apart. They have a lot of convergent shit that only they can fully understand about each other, bc they were raised in the same horror show and they helped each other escape
who gets more jealous?
mmmmm I’m gonna say kevin bc neil is very pretty and very unaware of it, and neil is still the least observant man on earth
kevin just feels a lot all the time tbh and he’s so painfully reliant on neil that he doesn’t now how to deal with his place being threatened™️️
who’s most likely to walk out on the other?
okay see: above where I said kevin’s reliant on neil like hi in what world would he walk out on his prized striker and also neil still has his kevin binder and he looks at it when he’s sad don’t tell me either of them could make it one full minute apart
who will propose?
do either of them know what marriage is honestly neither of them would even consider it?? Until -- you guessed it -- kevin gets injured and neil’s like cool hi im here and the hospital is like nah u gotta be married and neil’s like married?? we must be this
who has the most difficult parents?
idk babes what do u think dead murdering abusers or David Wymack?? I’ll give you time to think
who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public?
kevin holds neil’s hand like it’s a leash i’m gonna be real with you
I feel like a lot of these answers are the same as andreil bc they’re.... all........ together
who comes up for the other all the time?
idk who do you think is more obsessed with the other let’s ask neil’s binder full of kevin
who hogs the blankets?
it’s kevin he hogs the spotlight and the ball and the blankets what can I say
who gets more sad?
a BAD question with a VERY BAD answer sorry but they both do pal. buddy. dude. they had terrible childhood’s and a brutal time cutting themselves free and they’ll never be all the way better (but like they get really really close. together.)
who is better at cheering the other up?
depends on ur definition of cheering up bc neither of them are particularly cheerful lads
if Neil’s in a rut kevin will just nudge him and suggest Exy and if that doesn’t work he’ll drag neil out drinking or driving (not both lmao) and neil kind of hates it but at least he’s not empty
(when neil asks kev to play exy it’s always yes)
who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes?
this....... doesn’t happen........... kevin & neil doen’t know what a joke is........ u know that ‘it went over your head’ ‘nothing goes over my head, i would catch it’ meme from gotg.. yeah... that was written about them
who is more streetwise?
uhhh definitely neil? like their origin story is literally that kevin was put on this hyper sheltered restricted path and Neil was plucked off of that same path and put on the run
Kevin was swaddled in fear and routine so he couldn’t move. Neil was set loose into a war zone, and he knows his way around that war zone now
who is more wise?
depends on what ur asking mate. History trivia kevin’s your guy. math problem, get Neil. Exy, they can fight to the death tbh
like they’re both pretty dense about a lot of obvious things but intensely intelligent in specific fields so pick your poison
who’s the shyest?
I think kevin participates in a sort of forced shyness? like he has his public face and he has his obnoxious callout asst. coach mode, but his actual true, scared, caring core?? we almost never see it. Neil’s bitchiness is an echo of his actual frustration and passion and kevin’s is more definitely a front
who boasts about the other more?
guys holy shit remember when neil wiped riko across the floor at that first talk show reunion situation?? Neil’s constantly like ‘HI kevin’s king of the castle and ur a dirty rascal, eat my ass’ like he might fight him in private but he thinks kevin created the world, like he physically can’t imagine Exy without Kevin in it
who sits on who’s lap?
im laughing picture kevin trying to sit in neil’s lap the height difference would be. something
but also kevin likes to be protected so catch him lying down w his head in Neil’s neck and his feet dangling off the bed
(also neil sits in kevin’s lap and kevin looks up at him like he’s GOD)
#a pairing that I have not spent enough time considering and will now be thinking about forever#kevineil#aftg#the foxhole court#hc#ask meme#long post#Anonymous#ask
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who you should fight: Seirin edition
which KnB characters are you going to fight? [GoM]
so you’re itching for a fight and you’ve decided that you want to rumble with some high school athletes. well, the Seirin basketball team is as good a place to start as any. here’s who you should and shouldn’t be trying to tussle with:
Kagami Taiga
who wins: Kagami (unless you are a werewolf)
Kagami’s known weaknesses are dogs, food, and tough kanji. aside from those things, he’s pretty much invincible. also, he’s always ready to fight. he would be squaring up with you before you had time to finish rolling up your sleeves. the only people to put a dent in Kagami in the entire series are Kuroko, Riko, and Kagami himself. that’s a formidable trio, and it’s worth noting that Kagami never stays down for long. he’s back on his feet and ready to go again in no time at all. do not fight Kagami Taiga unless you are a Japanese teacher who is also a werewolf, and can therefore defeat him with both complex kanji and being a literal dog.
Kuroko Tetsuya
who wins: you, but at what cost?
Kuroko’s mostly weak, but be careful, if he lands a hit he could seriously damage you. have you seen him punch the basketball across the court and call it a pass? goddamn, you could get seriously injured if he tried that out on your squishy bits. also, and this is important, do you have the moral high ground in this fight? make sure you do beforehand, because if not, you’ve just gained yourself a nemesis. he’s a fucking stubborn little bugger and he won’t let the injustice of your victory continue. this is the boy who took down the GoM just to prove a point. he’s patient. he will wait. only choose to fight Kuroko if you don’t fear retribution.
Hyuuga Junpei
who wins: does it matter
we both know you’re going to go ahead and fight Hyuuga anyways, so we might as well give up on speculating over who’s going to win this thing. have you seen the guy? he’s dying for some way to relieve all of the pressure of being captain of a team as ridiculously reckless as Seirin. he needs this fight just as much as you do, it’ll be cathartic. please take one for the team (ha) and fight Hyuuga. it’ll do you both some good, you battle-crazed maniac. hell, you might even part on good terms.
Kiyoshi Teppei
who wins: what are you doing?
why?? are you trying to fight Kiyoshi???? is your name Hanamiya Makoto? because if it’s not, I’m not sure why you’re even reading this. Kiyoshi Teppei has done nothing wrong and there is no situation in which you should be trying to fight him. stop this nonsense at once. go home, take a nap, or call Hyuuga instead. honestly, what the fuck. even ignoring the fact that there’s no reason for you to be fighting him, you should be afraid of him. he has no sense of self-preservation and his hands are very strong. he could probably do that thing where he puts his hand on your head and holds you away from himself, leaving your fists swinging through empty air and you looking like a fool. do not fight Kiyoshi.
Aida Riko
who wins: Riko
you’re gonna fucking lose this one. Aida Riko does not fear death and she certainly does not fear you. prepare to be annihilated, you poor bastard.
Izuki Shun
who wins: you
Izuki is long overdue for a good smackdown, and you’re the perfect person to give it to him. all those puns at inappropriate times??? how has this been allowed to continue for so long??? well, no longer, because today is the day that someone puts a stop to them. you have to fight Izuki. he probably even deserves it. his eagle eye isn’t going to do shit for him when you’re right there up in his face and swinging, so don’t worry about it. just take him down. you can win this one, I believe in you.
Koganei Shinji and Mitobe Rinnosuke
who wins: they do
okay, so they have a two to one advantage on you, but if you really want to you can give it a shot. I mean, it’s impossible to fight them separately, so you’ll just have to do your best. oh, who am I kidding, Koganei would trip you while you were preoccupied with Mitobe and then they’d probably take you out for ice cream. the actual fighting will be totally unsatisfying. none of you will have any fun, so don’t fight Koganei and Mitobe, just skip right to the inevitable friendship instead.
Tsuchida Satoshi
who wins: Tsuchida
Tsuchida Satoshi is an enigma, a non-entity, some may even say he’s sort of like a cryptid. Kuroko Tetsuya who? Tsuchida is where the REAL mystery is at. what do we know about him? not much, which makes him incredibly unpredictable and dangerous. one of the few truths we know about Seirin’s legendary back-up power forward is that he’s the only KnB character with a girlfriend - clearly he knows something none of the other characters do. Physically, he’s fairly average - the only true weapons he has in his arsenal are his natural aura of side character mystery and the power of love, but they should be more than enough to take you down. fight Tsuchida, I dare you. we’ll see who’s just a side character after he’s through with you.
Furihata Kouki
who wins: you
go ahead and fight Furihata, you’re definitely going to win the first round. he’s not especially strong and if you challenge him confidently enough he’ll definitely think you know what you’re doing, so you already have an advantage over him. it’s important to note, however, that (like Kuroko) he’s a tenacious little bastard and he’ll definitely pick himself right back up and prepare for round two. you can win and keep winning, but no matter how scared he is and despite his naturally cautious nature, he can’t seem to turn down a challenge, so over time he’s definitely going to improve until one day he’ll be the one inviting you to meet him behind the gym to throw down because you’ve created a monster and he won’t stop until he’s proven himself to you. fight Furihata and you’ll have a regular sparring partner for the rest of the year.
Kawahara Kouichi
who wins: you, but why are you doing this
he’s a good kid, you really shouldn’t be fighting him in the first place. shit, dude, his motto is “purely and honestly”, is that really the kind of guy you think deserves to be fought? is Kawahara Kouichi, a simple oden and jigsaw puzzle enthusiast, the kind of person you want to meet in an abandoned parking lot at midnight? no, you’re not allowed to fight him, pick someone else off the list to duel with.
Fukuda Hiroshi
who wins: probably Fukuda
it’s my personal belief that Fukuda is the character from Seirin most likely to be a vigilante in his spare time, so, when you get your ass kicked, don’t come crying to me about it. I’m warning you right now: he has two older brothers, so he already knows every dirty trick in the book AND he’s got a lot of passion for helping out those in need, so I’d bet anything that he’s been in a scrap or two before. it might be close, he’s not really that much stronger than Furihata, but he’s the biggest and heaviest out of the normal first year trio and he’ll definitely be the most challenging to defeat. only fight him if you’ve fought Furihata and Kawahara first, and please know that I’m only saying this because how cool would it be to complete the set? (so cool)
Nigou
who wins: me
I’ll kick your fucking ass if you try to fight this dog. I’ll fight Kuroko for the right to kick your ass, I don’t give a fuck. if you even think about touching this dog with the intention of doing anything other than petting him, be prepared for me to physically manifest in your house and start kicking your ass. do not fight Nigou under any circumstances.
bonus: Aida Kagetora
who wins: you
there’s no ifs, ands, or buts about this: you HAVE to win this one. sure, he may be an adult and all that, but this man needs to be fought and you’re the one who needs to do it. lose the first round? get right back in there, champ, this ain’t over till it’s over. if you decide you want to fight him, you’re not allowed to stop until you’ve come out on top. I recommend doing this is a pro wrestling-style venue so you can climb up onto the ropes and take him down from above. just imagine how satisfying that would be. fight Aida Kagetora - you gotta.
#kuroko no fight club#lmao part two....finally...#I'm tagging everyone pls brace yourselves#Kagami Taiga#Kuroko Tetsuya#Hyuuga Junpei#Kiyoshi Teppei#Aida Riko#Izuki Shun#Koganei Shinji#Mitobe Rinnosuke#Tsuchida Satoshi#Furihata Kouki#Kawahara Kouichi#Fukuda Hiroshi#Nigou#Aida Kagetora#Seirin#KnB#kuroko no basket#not a quote#long post
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