#but not too honest

[chloesimaginationthings]

Michael teaches FNAF movie Vanessa, Aftons never win

#myart #chloesimagination #comic #michael afton #fnaf vanessa #vanessa afton #vanessa shelly #fnaf #fnaf movie #sister location #fnaf fanart #five nights at freddy's #Michael has a habit of being too honest for his own good #you’re scaring the locals Michael #Vanessa is legit spooked of what the future holds for her #if she’s doomed to be scooped and or become Vanny #shes gotta learn Aftons always lose even if they are ‘good’ #but she’ll probably be fine- #being purple ain’t too bad too 🙏🏾 #Michael never stopped being a blunt older brother pff

[kathaynesart]

The @tmntaucompetition is no place for a tiny tot to be left alone, especially with all these rowdy teens running amok. My heart just broke when I saw little Kid Leo crying, @angelpuns and @red-rover-au, and I knew Replica Leo's would too. Problem is they're probably going to be searching for a while cuz Replica Leo is looking for other unsupervised children. Oops.

This is in response to these couple of threads I've seen going around: COMIC 1 - COMIC 2 - COMIC 3 - COMIC 4 - COMIC 5

You kids need to all calm down!

#I'll be honest I just miss drawing my 30 something peepaw #been drawing just his 20 something self for a few months now haha #tmnt au competition #rottmnt #rottmnt replica #kid leo au #red rover au #uh... too many other au's sorry I'm in a rush to post this! #drawing on my lunch break #replica #kathaynesart #save rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #unpause rise of the tmnt #tmnt

[bixels]

Just gonna have to wait and see, right? Just wait and see! Just gotta wait and see! Who knows, we'll just have to wait and see! It's anybody's guess, we'll just have to wait and see! The future is exciting, we just gotta wait and see!

#personal #my art #Fuck your fake ass 'i am very smart!' intellectualizing “observations” and open your god damn ears. #do something for fucks sake. it's sickening seeing videos of ai crap and seeing rows and rows of repliers using their one brain synapse #to type “wow! very exciting!” “haha this is kind of scary! but in a really interesting way!” #and then they go about their day without a second thought while creative industries burn around them #i go to one of america's top tech schools too and it's enough to make you wanna tear our your hair #every day it's seminars and talks about “the potential consequences of ai!” when the consequences are happening NOW #NO MORE DISCUSSING NO MORE INTELLECTUALIZING NO MORE SOCRATIC SEMINARS NO MORE DEBATING. ACT YOU COWARDS #people are getting hurt RIGHT NOW. stop pretending to care when you clearly don't! just be honest and say you wanna make money #my time here has really made me hate academic spaces. you people are so god damn useless and cowardly.

[inkskinned]

so while i was writing the book, i became violently suicidal.

this was mostly due to the fact that i had a very bad reaction to some meds and my brain stopped producing any serotonin. also i was in the last semester of grad school where it's actually illegal to feel anything but dread. so it wasn't going well.

somewhere in the fog of it i became aware i needed help. nobody was taking clients or my insurance. i didn't want to do inpatient care - it wasn't right for my needs. there's not really an "in between" stage between "inpatient" and "no care," but i was trying to do the right thing. i was trying to activate the chain of command that was my emergency plan. i knew i needed help now.

i used betterhelp.

i know, i know. i'm a straight-A student and so smart and so clever, how could i ever use something so blatantly bad. to be honest with you, i didn't feel particularly keen on it from the getgo - things that seem too good to be true usually are. also, if something online is free, the price is usually your privacy.

the thing is that there was kind of a global pandemic happening at the time and i worked 5 jobs alongside of being a fulltime student and also like writing a book on the side. it is a miracle that i even thought about getting help. i would love to tell you i had the mental wherewithal to like, process whether this was the right choice for me. mostly i was desperate. i was so suicidal that i was trying to find a reason to stay inside of fortune cookies. i was the kind of suicidal that looks like splatterpaint. i hadn't been that bad in an entire decade.

they took my data. i gave them it freely. somewhere out there, they have a dossier on me. on everything i survived. my story in little datapoints, scattergraphed beautifully.

the first woman told me that really i should be grateful, because (and this is a direct quote): "at least you're not anne frank." i said that i felt that statement was antisemitic, as anne frank's life and experience shouldn't be compared to like, a nonbinary lesbian in western massachusetts. the therapist said that i should try to use lucid dreaming to try to picture myself in an actually scary situation, like running from nazis.

i applied for another therapist. i was willing to accept the possibility that there was a bad apple in the bunch. the next therapist and i even laughed about how inappropriate that statement was. and then, in our next session: the new therapist said if i was struggling with body image issues, i should just work harder on my appearance. she spent 3 sessions in a row talking about how she was grieving, and made me memorize facts about her grandmother so "she can live on through my clients."

i am a three's-a-charm kind of person. okay, so what if the last person made me uncomfortable. i figured it was just a misunderstanding of priorities - she had felt she was sharing with me, i had felt like i had to take care of her. i applied for another therapist.

the last woman asked me to help her pray. she bowed her head. i stared at her, frozen, while she said: lord, i beg you: cure her. take the pain of being gay away from her.

i spent somewhere between 2.5 and 3 months on betterhelp. in that whole time, i was not getting the professional help i so desperately needed, even though i was fucking trying.

in the end, i survived this because i finally could get off the meds that were literally killing me. a request for a real therapist finally went through. i survived because my friends saved my life. because nick let me sob myself dry in his arms. because maddie took the razors out of my room when i asked them to. because grace slept over in my bed for like 3 weeks in a row since nobody trusted me not to hurt myself when i was alone. i survived because i got fucking lucky. because even when i was desperately suicidal, i was too old and too self-aware to take "you need to be prettier" as good advice.

the thing is that there's a 19 year old me who isn't like that. who would have heard "just think about how grateful you should be" and said - oh, i see. i would have assumed that is what it means to be in therapy: the same thing my abusers used to tell me. that i am just pretending and lazy. that i am ugly and unworthy.

betterhelp positioned itself to take advantage of an incredibly vulnerable community. it preys on desperation. it knows it is serving people who are not doing well mentally. it saw that there is a huge need for real, immediate, compassionate mental health care: and then it fucking takes your money and privacy.

i still get their ads on instagram. last night i watched as a woman in a pool pretends to talk to a different woman. they discuss her anxiety.

there's a 19 year old version of me, and she didn't survive this. she was too tired, and drowning. i almost fucking died. this thing almost fucking killed me.

in the ad, the woman playing the therapist takes a note on a clipboard and then nods once, sagely.

i have to admit it's a pretty scene. the steam and light coming off the pool water lands on the actresses. like this, it almost looks baptismal, holy.

#writeblr #the book.... #coming soon #hey so if ur someone who has ever said “you need to write a book” #i wrote the book #it's ... probably the best thing ive ever written #this is maybe too honest lol #okay to reblog thank you for asking i love u i am in love with u our wedding will be in may

[lesbianshadowheart]

dont get me wrong cuz I DO appreciate Larian continuing to work on the game and trying to fix issues etc but like. mr Larian PLEASE stop responding to fan feedback. Theres like 2 million people playing this game ofc some of them will say character x should be nicer or cuter or do a little dance but that doesnt mean u gotta do it. you dont gotta call neil newbon or whoever up like come to the studio we need to rerecord everything bc a person on reddit said theyd like it better. You’ve worked on these characters for over 4 years and you are allowed to stand by your creation. None of what I said applies to Wyll’s underdevelopment btw but you all know that

#that post abt halsins #traumatic experience really portrayed this well for me #i wanted to say its fine to add things just dont replace them but #if im being honest even the epilogue felt too fanservicey for me #oh they all had a good ending and lived happily ever after #and had babies w each other and named them gortash cazador potter or whatever #like leave ittt just leaveee ittttt #bg3

[itsumilucy]

OKAY THIS SCENE

The look Lucifer is giving is enough to start but the fact that if you listen closely you can hear him go "ugh this guy." I CAN'T EVEN.

Lucifer is just like "Yeah sure did all the hard work but why not show up after it all."

#hazbin hotel spoilers #hazbin hotel #alastor #lucifer morningstar #I loved this finale so much #The morningstars just kicking ass too #Tbh everyone was just awesome this last episode #Nifty is the mvp for Adam though lets be honest #Excited for what they do in season two

[samstarium]

gomens icon variety pack! all art is from hg-aneh (4/?)

transparents under the cut

#good omens #edits #icons #pride icons #transparents #nina #furfur #maggie #eric the disposable demon #beelzebub #shax #lesbian #nonbinary #good omens icons #many tags.... #im gonna b honest i had NO idea how i wanted to do the layout lol #so just b nice ok ik this is a complete mess #n dont look at the transparents too closely theyre rlly sloppy ahhh #anyways!

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Bare skin, bare feelings.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #lan wangji #wei wuxian #blood #Imagine coming off as homophobic to your crush so bad he weaponizes a strip tease against you. #LWJ is just having a storm of bad emotions. His tummy hurt real bad and he was just trying to be brave about it! #WWX is just trying to be a good bro and heal his friendcrush. It worked but not for the reasons he thinks it did. #LWJ's shyness is also hilarious here considering they have bathed together before. Literally nothing there he hasn't seen before. #Granted it was a few years back and before he was left to stew in his feelings. #LWJ is more focused on his pride than being responsible and reasonable (getting is wounds treated). #His arc really is about accepting that he can't be perfect. That there is importance in being honest and vulnerable. #The tragedy is that he realizes this way too late. #Pride is the worst sin because it destroys your ability to protect anything other than the smallest crown in the world. #When everyone is gone and you are left alone - was it worth it to feel safe and protected from showing your flaws? #Control over oneself is in conflict with connection to others. You cannot pick both. #Hanguang-jun appears to us as a 'perfect guy' but the truth is that he is the version of LWJ who is done with *needing* that validation. #And this time - He can properly reach out to those he wants to be close with.

[cowboythewizard726]

beautiful orc girl leed helllOOOOO beautiful leed alert oh my GOD she's so cool WOOAHHHH beautiful siilly girl she was really pretty and awesome and so kind i think shes wonderful and there should be a statue made just for her thats really big and in the center of everything and she should get anything she wants ever smile face

#LEED LEED LEED!!!! #thank u for being s pussy chilchuck mouse man so she could yell at you #okay u wermnt being a pussy you just watn your friends to be okay i get it #i think its funny to call you a pussy #and mosue man #im sorry your're divorced i get it #this istn about YOU this is about LEED #LEED ORC LEADER #LEEEDDDD #GOD SHES SO COOL #AND AWESOME AND GREAT #yesterday i played dnd for the first time #and i got bonked in the head with a stone club #and now id like to imagine that was her she did that #wow #shes so cool #and shes really cute too awww awww #wonderful girl everyonme should love her #gonna be honest i wish she had eaten all of them #i support and encourage and endorse and urge women to eat people #leed dungeon meshi #leed delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi #dunmeshi #delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi spoilers #delicious in dungeon spoilers #dunmeshi spoilers

[christakisbang]

#he was so cute and skrunkly this ep #stray kids #kim seungmin #seungmin gifs #skz #skz gifs #my gifs #there was already sm to blur ill be honest if i had to do the movinhg taltal one too itd have pushed me over the edge #PUPPYYYYYYYYY

[hedgehog-moss]

My recipe is for blackberry-frangipane tart, though I'm sure it could work with other fruit! (note: I tried with plums and found that the texture wasn't right, so maybe not with very juicy fruit)

For the frangipane filling, whisk in a bowl: white sugar (100g), melted butter (40g), almond powder (125g), and 2 eggs. If it looks a bit grainy rather than smooth that's normal. Spread it over whichever kind of crust you usually use for fruit tart (not sure what the English equivalent of pâte sablée is but that's the one I use)

Add your blackberries over it, enough to more or less cover the tart but only in one layer (you don't want to smother your frangipane). If you use frozen blackberries, do not unfreeze them before! It'll make the tart too watery.

Put in the oven for 20 to 40min at 180°C (depends on how powerful your oven is, but until the frangipane looks golden all over)

Bon appétit :) It's my favourite fruit tart!

#(my recipe says softened butter but i always let it heat for too long and get melted butter instead #and to be honest i've never noticed a difference in frangipane texture) #les puristes de la frangi qui font la leur avec de la crème pâtissière je vous admire ! #déjà que le beurre pommade c'est au-delà de mes moyens...

[wizard-enthusiast]

out explorin’ the city!

#coolest apocalypse survivors i ever did see #just wanted to draw textures i’ll be honest #adventure time fanart #adventure time #simon petrikov #mushroom war #adventure time fionna and cake #fionna and cake fanart #fionna and cake #adventure time simon #marceline #marceline the vampire queen #marceline abadeer #totally stole the procreate preset color palette #i know they hung out in a similar place in f&c but too lazy to reference #aughgh

[bowenoke]

if you like florence + the machine and also kristen applebees and figueroth faeth. may i offer you cassandra

#fantasy high junior year #dimension 20 fanart #dimension 20 fantasy high #kristen applebees #fig faeth #craftie art #guys i. don't know what our fandom tag is to be honest. there's too many??? #i should've put a mic in her hands. #i dunno there's something so fun and very teenager behavior for multiple girls in your friend group to ressurrect their own bespoke gods <3

[inkskinned]

i'm used to it, and how bad it is, and how often it's so bad that it rings like a bell inside of me, drowning out everything around me. and the truth is that i get frustrated with myself about it - again? we're like this still? again? it's not that i feel weak, precisely. it's just this sense almost like - i've already been pushing against this thing for years now, shouldn't i have gained more ground?

i get frustrated because i'm sick of picking up the loose ends every six months. i get frustrated because it's always this same shit, same problem - i lose myself in a matter of months; spiral out of control, lose touch with friends and loved ones. i stop taking care of myself and therapy gets hard and i let everything around me wilt and shrivel and fall off; start somehow both sleeping too much and not-enough. i panic-attack and cry in my car in a target parking lot, pulling my hair out and hurting my ribs from sobbing so hard - and later, when i'm better, i'm embarrassed because how could i let it get that far?

it feels like - i already have done this so many times. isn't there a way out of it? isn't there a point where i've just... won? that it never happens again, that i just get to be done? maybe this is weakness, i guess - that i still (so often!) succumb.

i am used to it, so i forget exactly how hard it gets. do you even know how many times i've laid in bed, exhausted, blank and numb and listless and said - i can't anymore. i just can't. i'm not even really upset. it's okay. i've been here long enough. so much of my life was beautiful.... i'm just... done.

do you know how many times i woke up and i said - i can't and put my feet on the floor and said i can't, i don't want to and took a shower and walked the dog and bought myself fresh bread and put a nice playlist on and said i really can't, there's no end to this and i went to work and i called a friend and i made myself cookies even if food tasted like ashes and decided that i really should wait for the new album from that artist i love and i thought i can't, it's not worth it and then i washed my hands and cut my hair and drank more water and wrote a poem and signed up for an art class at the local community college and said i can't, i can't, i won't do this again, and i paid my rent and let the dishes rot in the sink but still made myself eat anything fresh even if it meant overdrawing my account on a stupid bag of plums just because they looked delicious and do you know how often i closed my eyes and thought this is it i really fucking can't, something has to give and i have nothing left that it can take and then i went to bed and i got up and i fucking survived anyway

yesterday the local ice cream place opened up for the first time this season and they were giving out tiny samples of their new dairy-free options and i tried a mango sorbet. three months ago i was positive that februrary was going to be my last month on the planet. i am teaching my dog a new trick and i just discovered a new band i love. i got a plant from the clearance aisle and repotted her and she's been perking up. i made salmon for alison and we ate it in her new house with her new beautiful baby girl. my manager told me he keeps recommending my work to others just because i always include a stupid number of puns. tomorrow i'm trying a new dance class. tomorrow i'm maybe going to buy more plums.

i forget, you know? it's not some bone-deep strength or some magical power. it's that some part of me knows - i need to stay. in all of this; out of all of this - i just want to choose love.

#writeblr #this is too honest and writing it made me cry #sorry #poetry

[jellolegos]

birthday

#supercorp #Lena is enjoying her cake and scotch somewhere I’m sure of it #there’s some kind of joke in there about enjoying kara’s cake too I’m just too tired to think of it to be honest #americas ass though 🫡🫡🫡🫡

[b0tsbby]

Anyways on Twitter I made a thread of Black hairstyles x each Trigun character, and asked who the crowd wanted me to draw for black history month. So here’s four req I picked at random!

Happy Belated BHM!😭

(Source thread under cut)

If you want the original thread that includes, almost everyone it’s here and admittedly it’s kinda bomb! (TriMax Knives was my favourite hc, I will draw him of my own accord soon)

https://x.com/b0tsbby/status/1757469800375136535?s=46&t=B4reFP0FnOly1tkmPhVHew

#LEGATO’S KINDA COLD #also I’m not a stranger to black Livio so this is funny cause I always draw him like this #also Midvalley with cornrows was more of a moment than I thought it was #all just cold if I’m being honest #except for Milly she’s Milly /pos #if I’m feeling #if I’m feeling to it I might draw wolfwood idk cause I think he’d kinda eat too #trigun #legato bluesummers #legato trigun #also no one talks about Razlo but TRUST I will return #I think about Razlo more than I do Livio so I’m down #milly thompson #millie thompson #livio the double fang #trigun livio #livio #trimax #trigun maximum #midvalley the hornfreak #midvalley trigun #I WILL DRAW KNIVES IM SO SERIOUS #sorry I just remembered and started frothing at the mouth #Midvalley fans I’m also started to see the vision LOW-KEY #warm place in my heart for yall