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#but she bought us all taco bell the night we got there & it was like the most exciting thing to happen to me since driving 12 hours
ringneckedpheasant · 1 year
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99% of my memories of ohio take place in my aunt’s house and I like her so it’s hard for me to have a genuinely negative perception of the state lol. I’ve been there twice and I had fun looking at her collections of vintage barbies 🤷🏻‍♂️
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mushroomwillow · 2 months
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Idk the fact that it’s cheaper to buy a large order of chicken tenders for our family than to buy the ingredients to make it at home is kinda… idk sad. I just remember being super excited when I was a kid that we got to eat out because it was a special treat. Except for like, McDonalds or Taco Bell. I could scrounge up $10 in quarters and me and half my friend group would have too much food.
But now McDonald’s is too expensive. I can order 25 decently large chicken tenders for $35 at a place that would have been too expensive as a kid for my family. And that’ll last us the week. If I bought the ingredients to make that at home now it’d easily cost $50 or more.
And has anyone noticed that store bought food goes bad faster? Or am I imagining it?
But McDonald’s got expensive af? So did Taco Bell? I feel weirdly old and I’m angry that I can barely afford food now while working full time making $18hr while my fiance makes $19.32 and just rent and our cars take up almost all our paychecks. Nevermind daycare and utilities, which we had to lie to get assistance with daycare because the limit on income says we should somehow be able to afford $956 a month just for childcare.
Lamenting about how $8 an hour was insane as a teen because it meant I could afford my own phone and stay with friends working part time and still have enough to have fun. Now if it wasn’t for my in-laws paying for us to be on their phone line we couldn’t have phones.
Kind of get gen x and boomers on that one. And painfully aware and angry that we grasp that we can’t afford trips and heaven forbid missing work because my daughter needed stitches when falling at daycare. And they don’t.
Obviously I took that time off. I take off when we’re sick but only if we have a high fever, because I just cannot afford to miss work. Gas prices are going up so high that my coworkers and I are talking about carpooling over the summer, which means we have to change our availability at work.
Getting Easter stuff for my daughter cut into our grocery money. I want to cry and yell and scream because I can’t afford to miss work to go to the dr, and I can’t afford the copays anyway. My meds cost so much money I’m considering asking my dr to take me off anything that is not absolutely necessary.
Like my heart meds. Can I keep ahold of my anxiety enough to be off those meds to. How important is it that I buy the supplements because my body isn’t retaining enough to stay alive.
And like, what if my daughter gets hurt again. What if she gets sick. She’s on her dads insurance because mine is terrible. But there’s no drs out here that accept his that have any availability.
Goodwill is too expensive. Buying healthy food is too expensive. My daughter is hitting a growth spurt and I can’t afford to buy her new clothes or shoes. Can’t afford my meds. We can’t run the heat on cold nights or the ac on hot days without worrying we can’t afford the bills. My dr wants to do a sleep study because I can’t stay asleep, my nightmares are so bad that I wake up panicking but I can’t afford the sleep study. I can’t afford to miss work. Missing a week of work in November for my wedding scares the shit out of me. Idk if I’ll be able to afford to go to my daughter’s birthday because she’ll be across the country with her dad. I’m in credit card debt. Idk if I’ll ever get out of debt. I have bill collectors calling every day. I’ll be working until I either can’t walk anymore or till I die.
Idk why tf I’m going to school when even my therapist, who I can’t afford to see, says she’s struggling to pay her bills too. And she has a masters.
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alexin-wonderlust · 1 year
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Day Twelve - Tokyo
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18th November 2022
Alright Tokyo, Day Two. Let's see what we've got...
Today we are heading to Shibuya and Shinjuku for Shin-anigan's...
First stop is Eggslut in Shibuya. A bit tricky to find, it was inside a "mall" thing, and inside a two level food court... but not the main food court. -__- There was also a taco bell, and a panda express... we weren't tempted, and it was worth it. Possibly the best egg sando I've ever had. Sure, I might die if I eat another one... but holy moley, it was gooey and perfect. The service was actually not great... for Japan. But, no complaints. Its Fast Food.
Now to explore... I took ben to Tower Records. Unsure if this was a mistake -- we were in there for 3 hours. Looking at records, and CD's and music memorabilia. It's so awesome that this culture is still alive here. There's something magical and nostalgic about digging around a CD store. :) I bought some second hand records, and had to stop myself at some.. sigh. Next time, a bigger bag. More luggage. Haha!
I was able to do some shopping of my own at this stage -- heading to the Disney Store and Loft (for STICKERS!!) and we grabbed a coffee at a nearby cafe which was cash free, seat yourself... very COVID friendly. I hated it. Haha! But I knew we were about to head to Fruits Parlour to get another cafe experience. I've been dying to go back!
Their menu wasnt as fun as it was last time (I went in Spring and it was cherry blossom season) but we still got to have a delicious strawberry parfait. Walking back, I thought to take the long way via the Tokyo Tower and see what food is available there.
Tokyo Tower was all lit up because now it was dark -- so pretty. But this also meant the food places were minimal. But the food court underneath was still popping -- we decided to have a snack and get Ramen before we have our late night adventure.
After the hotel to recharge (and drink the alcohol we had collected throughout our trip, and use the salt from the flight to shot the tequila.. which was gross btw...) we were headed back to Shinjuku. To Donki first for some cheap booze again, and then Ramen at Ichi-ran.
Ben LOVED Ichiran. It is so fun and solo, but we were drunk and being obnoxious. Woops. Sorry Tokyo. He was dancing because his smoked chasu was delicious haha!
I had found some "rock" bars to visit -- GODZ Bar was the first on the list. Full of memorabilia and autographs from bands who had also visited, it was definitely our place to be. The bartender chick, was just standing there, smoking, like she didn't want to be -- but it added to the aesthetic. We chatted with some dudes (i swear they were from Germany, maybe it was Amsterdam?) about metal and sang along to the Youtube videos they were playing.
Next up was BarPSY which was their "sister" bar. Across the way -- it was smaller, but busier and the vibe was so fun. We were forced into doing Jager Shots from test tubes and told do say "Chin-po" which apparently means Penis. Thanks HAHA!
I still wanted to do MORE but it was 2am, now that means the trains were done... its expensive Taxi Time. Woops again. I'm always surprised at how fast it seems like they drive...
IG Post:
"Today involved music, shopping and drinking. It got messy.
We started the day looking for a breakfast place in Shibuya so we looked around the Disney Store and Tower Records. I bought some second hand records and they were really cheap compared to what we get in Adelaide so I was excited. Hopefully they come home okay!
After all the shopping I took Ben past the Tokyo Tower and we had a drink underneath before walking back to our hotel to get ready to go out to Shinjuku and find some where to party.
I came across Godz Bar on IG a long time ago so that was our first stop and we met some German dudes and rocked out to some metal. Then we went across to their “partner bar” Bar PSY and did some Jaeger shots and it started to get messy. Taxi back to the hotel was definitely an easier option! 😂"
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thran-duils · 3 years
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I Crave Annihilation (P.2)
Title: I Crave Annihilation (Part Two) Summary:  Fem!Reader x Mafia!Dark Tony Stark. Tony works for the reader’s very influential politician father moving guns and drugs. She starts flirting with him and he is returning the vibes. She moves into her own place out of her parent’s house and texts him to come save her from a house party. Smut ensues. Words: 3,450 Warnings (for the fic in entirety): Smut, HUGE age difference, angst, violence, infidelity, possessive behavior
Part One || Part Three || Masterpost (mobile) || Fanfic masterpost
“Who does this pussy belong to, baby?”
“You, sir!” you keened, your knuckles white grasping your blankets.
Tony slowed before laying a hard smack across your ass, drawing a cry from you. He kneaded at your ass roughly, groaning. You could feel him pulling your cheeks apart as he thrusted, a low hum leaving his mouth. He was definitely relishing in watching his cock moving in and out. He laid another hard smack and you whined for him.
“Such a good girl,” he husked, resuming his brutal pace.
<><><>
Tony left the bedroom, closing the door behind him. He smirked to himself, knowing he had worn Y/N out; she was going to be sore tomorrow. Just like how he liked to leave her so she remembered who she belonged to. Descending the stairs to the ground floor, he stopped seeing two girls sitting on the couch, looking pretty intoxicated, still holding drinks in their hands, Taco Bell wrappers spread out along the coffee table. They had not heard the girls come home; not a surprise considering how loud him and Y/N had been. He surmised they had been there for a while with the food and had been listening to him completely wreck Y/N upstairs.
He threw them a charming smirk and asked, “Roommates?”
“Yeah…” one said slowly, trying to hide the smile on her face. She was looking him over, taking in his tailored pants and pressed dress shirt.
“I wasn’t here. Right?” Tony responded, cocking his head in expectance. They both nodded and Tony winked, and he saw them both turn bashful in a second before he turned, opening the door and walking out.
As soon as he got outside, he pulled his phone out and texted Y/N.
Your roommates are downstairs. You might want to talk to them about keeping their lips sealed.
<><><>
You read the text and your eyes widened. You got dressed quickly and rushed out of your room but stopped at the top of the stairs. What were you going to say? You had been trying to keep this a secret for months.
Moving controlled down the stairs, you came to the bottom and turned to face the couch. They were both looking at you, bursting at the seams. Suddenly, they burst into laughter – the both of them – holding onto each other.
“Y/N! Do you have a sugar daddy?” Mara guffawed. She saw the look on your face, and she leaned forward, waving her hands in surrender. “No, no! I’m not judging! I’m just curious. He’s hot!”
“Oh my god, no wonder you don’t take guys home,” Lisa said. “Holy shit. He could beat the shit out of them if he ever caught you in bed with someone else.”
“How long were you guys here?” you asked uncertainly, worried about how much of it they had actually heard.
“Um… from the first ‘are you a dirty girl?’ I think?” Mara asked, snorting again. “And then every subsequent smack after that. How is your ass?”
“Oh, shut up,” you said as the two of them erupted into giggles again. “You can’t say anything!”
Lisa crowed, “Oh, it’s a secret! Oh okay.”
“I’m fucking serious,” you snapped, much to their amusement. “Now did you leave me any food or what?”
Mara laughed pointing at the bag, “Yeah. And I’m sure you’re absolutely famished.”
<><><>
Where are you?
You looked down at your phone, confusion coming on. You had told Tony what you were doing and where you were at when he had asked about an hour ago.
At the bar I told you.
I know, but where inside.
Are you here?
You know how much I don’t like people answering my questions with another question, baby.
I’m in the back.
Come to the front then.
Well, that answered your question well enough.
You made your way through the crowded back room, through the hall. You looked in the first front room and did not see him anywhere and you went through the doorway to the main front room where the bigger bar was set up. You spotted him and Steve sitting in a booth against the wall. He had told you that Steve was aware of your relationship, which had made you nervous, but Tony seemed to trust him, so you had to trust in that.
Sliding into the booth next to him, you asked, “What’s going on?”
“Figured we would swing by and see if you wanted to go out with us and Steve’s lady for the night.” Steve smirked at the comment. “Exclusive place.”
“You couldn’t have just texted me to get the answer?”
Tony simpered, “I wasn’t really looking to ask.”
Of course not. He was not the asking type.
“When are you going?”
“I’d prefer sooner rather than later. This bar is pretty… college-y.”
“I’m not entirely complaining,” Steve said finally speaking, his eyes wandering around the bar at all the people. His eyes lingered on one in particular and he winked at them, causing them to smile shyly.
“Can I get my drink then? Before we go?” you asked. “I was just about to.”
“If you move, I can go grab it for you,” Tony told you.
You shook your head, and he narrowed his eyes slightly. You quickly explained, “My friend owes me one. I bought the first round.”
“If you insist,” Tony said bringing his glass to his lips.
You tapped his arm before getting up again and walking through the tables to go back to the hall leading back to your table. You walked up to the table and your roommate, Mara, that was out with the small group asked you where your drink was. You eyed the line at the bar back here and frowned at how long it was.
“I’m gonna get but I wanna take that shot,” you said over the music to your friend, Gabriel. “Wanna come back up with me to the front bar? There’s less of a line up there surprisingly than the one back here.”
Mara was eyeing you knowingly, a smug smirk on her lips. You had been seeing Tony now for months since they had caught him leaving. You glared at her, willing her to stay quiet, as you grabbed your purse, and she held back a laugh.
Gabriel followed you up to the front bar and you shot a quick look in the direction of the booth to make sure they were still there. Tony was not looking at you but Steve was. Gabriel was talking to you and drew your attention away, your back to the booth now. The line went quickly and the two of you ordered your shots, took them, and left the glasses on the bar. You gave him a quick hug before parting ways.
Steve was getting up out of the booth, avoiding eye contact as he straightened out his leather jacket.
“I’ll be outside,” he said to Tony more than anything.
Tony finished off his drink and got up as well, his body brushing yours. He was peering down his nose at you and asked, “Anybody I gotta be worried about?”
“What?”
“The guy?” Tony asked.
“Yes, my friend.”
“’Friend’.”
You realized where this conversation was going and you sighed heavily, “Tony, don’t—”
“Don’t what?” he asked, a dangerous tone underlying.
“I promise you I mean it when I say a friend,” you told him, leaning into him. His expression was stern, and you grabbed the lapels of his jacket, to pull yourself closer, and said, “Trust me.”
Tony’s tongue ran across his lower lip and he finally said, “Don’t betray that trust, precious.”
Later outside the high-end club, Tony and you took a break from the atmosphere to mess around in the backseat of his car. Foreheads pressed together as you straddled him, low moans filling the space in the car until the two of you came tumbling down.
Tony pressed his nose at you to get you to move your face and his lips found yours, his hand at the back of your head holding you tight.
“I gotta go on a trip for a week overseas,” he murmured.
“Where?”
His eyes crinkled with a tickled smile, “You really think I can tell you that?”
Shrugging sheepishly, you said, “No, I guess not.”
He pecked your nose, “I’ll be back before you know it. Promise. And I’ll bring you something back.”
That perked you up much to his amusement.
<><><>
You were coming back from the pool house a month later when you saw Tony coming up the path. You faltered in your steps as he advanced. He barely broke stride as he grabbed your arm and began pulling you along with him.
“What are you doing?” you asked him alarmed, stumbling once as you worked to match his stride.
He did not answer.
He was drunk, that was apparent.
You had been out with your mum shopping and she had asked you to take the new towels out to the pool house. Tony was over watching a football game with some of the other men and you noticed he had caught sight of you walking from the hall to the kitchen. You had tried to ignore his stare as you disappeared again, heading out the door. You had turned him down earlier in the week about him coming over and he being his persistent self, had shown up at your place anyway, only to find you gone. He had called you and you had had barely any signal as you told him you were not there, you were up in the mountains with your friends. You had not told him you were going on a trip considering it had been decided on a whim and that had only irked him more. You had not spoken since you had gotten back.
It seemed he did not pick up on the hint to be subtle and let it be until a better time.
“Tony, we can’t—” you tried to plead. You were terrified someone was going to catch you here and he was too gone to either care or think of that. Even if you were in the pool house, someone could have seen you two sneak in.
“Tony, my mum sent me out here to put the towels out here. We had more things to put away inside! She’s gonna wonder where I’m at!”
He was still ignoring you, dragging you and he shoved you inside the bathroom.
“Tony!” you tried again.
“Be quiet!” Tony ordered you, turning you around forcibly. Your hands sprawled on the wall, your ass pressing into his pelvis. His breath was hot on your neck when he said, “You ready to apologize?”
“Apologize—”
“Avoiding me?” he growled.
“I’m not—” you said trying to turn around, but his grip flexed, forcing you to stay as you were.
“Don’t lie to me,” he snapped, hiking your dress up and shoving your thong aside to give him access. “How long have you been back?”
“A day—” you started to say but it was strangled in your throat as he began stroking your nub.
“A whole damn day and no text. No call,” he muttered angrily underneath his breath, working you up to get you ready for him. “Nothing to let me know you were back. That’s fucking naughty of you.” You ground against his fingers, biting your lip, whimpering. Upon hearing your arousal, he sneered, “You’re lucky I’m even taking the time to get you ready at all, precious.”
You felt and heard how wet you were getting – he knew how to play you like a fiddle.
Tony’s fingers disappeared and he kicked one of your legs out to spread you out further for him. Without much warning, he was pressing in roughly, his hands gripping at your hips. You moaned lowly as he stretched you out and let out a sudden cry as he pulled out and slammed back in. His thrusts were causing you to have to press your hands painfully into the wall to keep steady. He was not going easy at all.
One of his hands left your hip to wrap around your throat, holding your head back as he drove himself deeper. Your ass was clapping against his pelvis, mixing with the moans and his lewd taunting.
“You little slut, thinking you could hide from me,” he growled, giving a particularly hard thrust. “I thought I taught you better manners than that!”
“I’m sorry, sir,” you keened.
Tony only stalled to yank you away from the wall and whirl you around to the sink, bending you over it before resuming his brutal pace. Your fingers dug into the countertop, as you begged, “Please, please, please.”
“Please what?” Tony husked, his hips snapping.
He was driving deep, brushing your core with precision and you cried out again.
“Please fuck me, make me cum,” you whined in response, drawing a strangled laugh out of Tony.
“Just can’t fucking help yourself, can you?”
You heard the door open from behind the pair of you and your stomach dropped to your feet.
“What the hell is this?” you heard your mum exclaim.
Tony was out of you in a second, stuffing himself back in his pants. You craned your head around mortified, finding your mum staring at the two of you, disbelief splashed across her face.
Her gaze snapped to Tony, suddenly murderous. She slapped him across the face with all the strength she could muster and shrieked, “You absolute piece of fucking shit! She’s a child!”
Tony looked furious at her laying hands on him.
“Now, Rebecca,” Tony said loudly. She went to hit him again, but he was quick, and he pushed her to the wall as you rushed to push your dress down. He had her pinned there by her collarbone.
“Tony!” you pleaded, coming up towards them but he held his hand out, warning you to stay back.
You stopped, looking between the two of them wildly. Your mother only had eyes for him, trying to pull his hand away with no avail.
“Let me go!” your mum demanded, trying to push his hand away but your mother was a very small woman and Tony was so much larger than her. “Are you insane? Do you know what Damien—”
“Are you? Are you insane?” Tony asked dangerously, their noses brushing. She struggled again but he shoved her back again roughly and she finally stilled, glaring murderously at him. His voice was low, “You don’t want trouble with the mob. Running off and telling your husband is only going to cause that. If he loses his temper, they’ll take my side on this and all the power he’s got is going to be compromised because he’ll lose our support. How do you think you two would fare without that support, hmm?” He was searching your mother’s face, who was silent now. He scoffed when he saw she knew what he was saying was right. He dug his hand in again and she only flinched slightly, “And Y/N’s an adult, not a child, as you just so stupidly said. She can make her own fucking choices.”
“Let. Me. Go,” your mother said, enunciating every word. “I got the message.”
Tony only held on for a few more seconds before he pushed away from her. He tore his eyes away from her before saying to you, “I’ll text you later.”
He left the room, leaving the two of you standing there, staring at each other. The tension in the room could be cut with a knife and you hated the disappointed look on her face. Time seemed to expand into an eternity that the two of you were standing there before she finally spoke.
“How long?” your mother rasped out. You looked at the ground and you felt her gaze boring into you. She demanded louder, “How long, Y/N?”
“Since October,” you said weakly.
“Christ,” she half sobbed. “That’s almost a year, Y/N! What were you thinking?”
You shrugged helplessly, “I… we have a relationship.”
Your mother shook her head and snapped, “You can’t!”
“I love him!”
“Y/N, you don’t know what love is. He’s twice your age! He’s using you!”
“No, he’s not. You don’t know—”
“I know what I know!” your mother exclaimed, causing you to close your mouth. She looked heartbroken, her eyes watering. “I know, Y/N. I know men like him. I’ve dealt with them too! He’s taking your most formative years and weaving himself into them! You can’t let… you can’t let him do that. You can’t build yourself around him.”
“I’m not!”
“I don’t want you to see him.”
“I can make my own choices!” you said firmly.
She scoffed loudly, wiping away tears that had started to fall over. “What would your father think?” Your face screwed up in worry and you started to argue but she cut in forcibly, “I know! I know Y/N! That fucking… bastard is right. I won’t… I can’t say anything.” Her eyes met yours again and she shook her head. “Jesus, Y/N. I can’t look at you right now.”
Jaw clenched, you got the hint and stormed past her to leave and go home, irate and miserable at how the night had turned out.
<><><>
You had still continued to see Tony much to your mother’s disapproval. You meant it when you said you loved him, and you resented your mum telling you that you did not. But after seeing how he had treated her in the pool house, a small part of you was unsure now about the longevity and stability of the relationship. How could you stay together in secret like this forever, especially when he was ready to threaten anyone that tried to separate the two of you?
Unfortunately, you did not get the chance to make the decision for yourself.
“What happened?” you asked concerned, coming up to your mum quickly in their living room. You had come over to have dinner with them, but it did not look like dinner was going to be happening for a while or at all.
Your father was shouting into the phone on the patio, a few of his guys outside with him. There was fury and desperation in the air.
Your mum pulled you aside and said, “Something happened. I mean, obviously. sorry. Um,” she paused, stammering, as your father let out a slew of cuss words. “Um, your dad is trying to get control of the situation. Pull himself clear of it.”
“What situation?”
“There was a… police bust. Some of the men got arrested for… you know, it doesn’t matter what for. But, just let your father do his thing. Stay out of his way. It’s what I’m doing. How about you and me go out and grab food? It’s best for everyone to just let him be.” She paused and then added, “And honestly, this situation is best for you.”
The way she said that…
You knew who had been arrested.
Pulling away from her, you saw her start to say something else, but you turned abruptly, taking off down the hall towards the entrance way where you had left your purse. You dug through it clumsily before getting your phone out and dialing Tony.
His phone went straight to voicemail.
<><><>
~7 years later
You pulled up to your parent’s house seeing the copious amount of cars lined along the driveway. They were having their annual beginning of summer get together and as usual, you were invited as well as your closest friends, so you had people to hang out with. Some of your friends had already arrived, more than comfortable around your parents without you there.
The person that mattered the most to hang out with though was sitting in the passenger seat.
Your husband smiled at you and said, “I am very much ready for your mum’s crab cakes. Well.. you know, Willa’s crab cakes. Your mum just oversees the process.”
You snorted at this and said, “I know you are. And yes that is very true.”
It was hard to try to keep your heartbeat even now that you were here. You were going to have to face him. Tony and the others had just been released days before. You needed to steer clear of him after having ghosted him when he got arrested. You had been young, so young, and he had been sent to a different state for prison. It had been easy to make excuses and your mother had encouraged the excuses.
Your husband would shield you. You would make sure of that.
~~~
Forever tags: @coconutqueen21 @undecidedsworld
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scorpionyx9621 · 3 years
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What Each Member of the Bat Family Orders at Starbucks Because this hasn't been done before. From the lense of someone who was a Partner for 3 years.
Dick
Either get something super healthy like a black iced Americano or goes for High School Girl caramel frappucino with 1.5 inches of Caramel.
The man is usually coming into starbucks in a hurry but is always very polite. Has low-key flirted with every partner in the store.
He lives off of those Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Perfect Bars. But generally tries not to spend too much money at Starbucks.
If he does get a breakfast sandwich it's the Bacon Gouda.
Barbara
Very Iced Matcha Green Tea or London Fog vibes.
But her no-stop go to drink is a dirty chai with blonde espresso and one pump of Mocha.
Pre-pandemic Barbara would be the person who sits at the cafe working on her laptop, berating the whole brood for their performances on the previous night's trips.
Doesn't eat the food at starbucks UNLESS it's the holidays and she hoards Cranberry Bliss Bars like some type of feral goblin.
Jason
Any dark roast he can get on the machine (usually French roast from my store but he likes Italian better) or just a plain Nitro Cold Brew. Has unironically ordered the pink drink on occasion. Always asks for extra ice in his iced drinks.
He gives the energy that he's the one who knows everyone's names and is super polite but once people know he's the Red Hood everyone's just like 'yeah he gave off those vibes. He looked like he was going to snap my neck when I accidentally put Pumpkin spice in his Nitro but he still smiled and apologized profusely and insisted he'd take it.'
Sits in the cafe and reads. For hours on end. But never at a consistent time. Likes to come and harass Barbara occasionally.
Gets a Double-Smoked Bacon and puts a pack of Sriracha on it every time. And I mean every single time he comes in.
Tim
He likes Peet's better but gets either a red eye with extra shots or a Venti cold Brew with 6 packs of Stevia.
He swears it isn't about the caffeine but it's totally about the caffeine.
Always in and out quicky but will come back multiple times a day. Has rewards to use but always forgets them. Ends up saving them for Jason or Cass.
Gets the Taco Bell breakfast from the Taco Bell a block away because it's 8x better than anything at a Starbucks. Or he gets the Ham and Swiss Croissant.
Stephanie
Venti Vanilla Latte extra hot with an extra shot, short pull, skim milk. Or unironically a PSL. But ALWAYS with a pump of vanilla.
Always comes into the store with at least one other member of the Bat Family. Never EVER comes in alone. Always ends up snort laughing at one of the boys. Tries to convince either Damian or Jason to try to swallow a whole thing of cinnamon.
Unironically gets the salads and food boxes from the display. And always gets one every time she comes. Her favorite is the Chicken Quinoa bowl.
Go-to breakfast is the Bacon Guyrere Sous Vide egg bites.
Cassandra
She always comes in and tries something new! Even if she doesn't like what she got she always tries to find some way to analyze and experience the taste and flavor of the drink. Her favorite is still a blended Dragon Drink with whipped cream.
Everyone at the store loves her because her smile radiates through the whole store. She's like Jason in the sense that she's always super polite and super smiley but deep down everyone fears her. When the two come into the store together everyone is on edge but no one does anything less than smile.
Is on a mission to experience everything their is to life and that means experiencing everything once. She loves receiving recomendations from baristas and loves to hear what we have to think on certain beverages.
Her favorite breakfast item is an oatmeal cup with the nuts and chocolate chips.
Damian
When he's with his family? Almond Milk Hot Chocolate with a pump of peppermint. (He's "not supposed" to have caffeine yet) when he's alone? A grande Nitro cold Brew with Coconut milk and yet again, a pump of peppermint.
Brat. Just a brat. He's kind enough when paying and will usually take his drink without saying anything but if you mess up his drink he will make a scene.
Usually comes in with Jon and tries to get Jon into coffee. He hates it. But will always be Jon's sugar bestie and buy all of his drinks.
Doesn't like to eat the food at Starbucks. But when he does he gets an Almond Croissant.
Duke
Likes Dunkin better but will still go if he's with family. Usually gets a grande iced coffee with an extra pump of classic.
Is always super polite and very friendly to staff. Tries new seasonal items with Cass.
Is usually in and out pretty quickly non because he doesn't like the people or the atmosphere. He just is an in-and-out guy when it comes to fast food (No not the burger chain you west coast savages)
Ironically he really enjoys the spinach tomato feta wrap. Has given Tim money to buy one for him.
Bruce
Doesn't really like Starbucks but will go if his children ask him to come with him. Unironically likes Pike Roast and will drink it black because he's a monster.
Everything is too sugary for Bruce. He physically probably couldn't stand the menu at a Starbucks.
Always strikes up casual conversation with the partners and likes to secretly slide benjamin's in the tip jar. Even if the service was subpar.
He loved the Spicy Chorizo sandwich and way really sad when they got rid of it.
Alfred
Mildly pissed at all of his children for taking the equivalent of McDonalds for coffee over his food.
Refuses to give a red cent of his money to that chain.
Barbara bought him a London Fog one time and he begrudgingly admitted it was tolerable then proceeded to make Barbara one that was 80x better.
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carnationcreation · 3 years
Text
Dream buddy (Adam Park x reader)
✌🏻Masterlist Taglist, Requests, and Works in progress!
Please check bio to see if requests are open before sending any in! 
Request: (wattpad @pezzbosch) Can you please write an imagine of Adam being worried about his crush because she’s going through something personal that she won’t talk about? And the crush is just super scattered all the time and losing focus in almost everything she does until someone finally gets her to talk about what’s going on?
Prompt/summary: Adam goes a little overboard worrying about his crush
Word Count: 1,502
Authors note: (Ready Now by dodie is the vibe for this) Thanks so much for your request bb! If y’all haven’t read @pezzbosch ‘s fanfic Twenty Four Seven then I totally recommend to go check that out of you’re a power rangers fan :)
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adam wished he’d noticed it sooner.
He should’ve known the first day she turned down going to Earnies. She would never turn down a chance to get her favorite mini tacos on a normal day, especially after a day she had gym class. 
He just wished he would’ve noticed her pushing them away sooner. 
The first time he got the hint something was wrong was the Monday morning back from spring break. She showed up to school tired and almost fell asleep during first block pre-calculus. (Y/n) might not enjoy that class that much but she never got caught sleeping in class, ever. 
He watched her pull an energy drink out of her bag and drink almost half of it in a few gulps.
“Woah,” Adam said, pulling the drink away, “Slow down there. You don’t want to drink it all in one go.”
“Adam, I am so tired I will fight you for that drink.”
He rolled his eyes, “If you’re that tired you wouldn’t last more than a few seconds. Why are you drinking this? You hate energy drinks.”
“I just… didn’t get that much sleep last night,” (Y/n) sighed.
Adam placed the can back on the desk, “I’m sorry, why couldn’t you sleep?”
“Just couldn’t,” she said, the end of class bell rang and (Y/n) quickly gathered her things, “See ya in gym!”
He really started to worry when she didn’t show up for their first class the next day. He was so used to seeing her bright smile when he would sit down next to her that today felt like the world was a little duller. Class seemed to roll by slowly as he stared at the clock and the door waiting for her to come in, but she never did.
Lunch time came and there was still no sign of her. As he sat down next to Rocky and Tommy they noticed his mood had shifted a lot since they saw him yesterday.
“You okay Adam?” Tommy said.
“Have either of you seen (Y/n)?”
“No, we haven’t seen your girlfriend,” Rocky said, causing Adam’s eyes to go wide.
“She- she’s not my girlfriend guys,” he said shyly.
“You guys sure act like it.”
Adam slapped Rocky’s fork out of his hand with his own, “We’re not dating. I just haven’t seen her all morning and I’m starting to worry.”
“Yeah cause you have a big fat crush on her,” Rocky grinned.
“Stop it Rocky,” Tommy sighed.
“Fine,” Rocky huffed and picked his fork back up from the tray.
“Anyways, we haven’t seen (Y/n) since gym class yesterday,” Tommy said.
“I might stop by her house after school to check on her, it’s not like her to miss class and not tell me.”
“Yeah cause she has a big fat crush on you,” Rocky muttered.
“Rocky!”
“What?! It’s true!”
Adam sighed, “She doesn’t have a crush on me.”
Rocky rolled his eyes, “Well then why is she walking over here first instead of to Kat and Tanya?”
Adam turned around quickly and spotted the girl walking towards the group of boys, he smiled widely as she sat down beside him.
“What’s with the energy drink (Y/n)?” Rocky asked.
“What? Oh- I… stayed up late to finish a project.”
Adam looked at her confused, “We don’t have any projects in our classes, is it for your English class?”
“Uh, yeah,” she said with a fake smile.
“Oh, okay,” Adam said. He knew she was lying, but he was hurt that she felt like she had to. 
By the weekend (Y/n) seemed to be back to normal. She was on time for classes again and went to hang out at Earnies. Yet there was still something… weird going on. 
Even though she was her usual cheery sunshine self, Adam noticed when the others were talking amongst themselves she would look off with an almost blank look on her face. When she would talk her sentences would trail off or not make sense completely. The others pretended they didn’t notice but it was starting to become clear that something was wrong with their friend.
Adam decided he needed to know what was going on.
He got to school early enough so that he could catch (Y/n) at her locker. As he walked through the halls he thought of a million different answers he might get from his friend, or crush really. He’d always been infatuated with her since she sat next to him in Chemistry last year, the ball of sunshine in the class. 
As he rounded the corner he saw (Y/n) quickly shove a white bottle into her locker before shutting it and shouldering her bag.
“What was that?” he said, she jumped slightly and spun around.
“Adam!” she said, “Geeze you scared me. What’s up?”
“What’d you put in your locker?” he said.
“Oh just my binder.”
“It looked like a bottle-”
“Adam we really need to get to class,” (Y/n) said.
“Why are you lying to me?”
She sighed, “I’m not.”
“What was in the bottle?” he said, the firmness in his tone made her look down to the floor.
“I- um,” she tried to speak but the tears that formed in her eyes stopped her.
“(Y/n),” Adam said gently, placing his hand on her shoulder, “you can tell me anything.”
She turned the lock on her locker and opened it, and sitting on the top shelf was a pristine looking white bottle full of caffeine pills.
“(Y/n)-”
Tears were falling down her face and he pulled her into a hug.
“I’m sorry,” she sobbed.
“There’s nothing for you to be sorry about,” he said, rubbing circles into her back. 
“I just- there’s these dreams, well, nightmares I keep having. I wake up panicking but I’ll sit and think and think about it but I just can’t remember it. How am I supposed to stop them when I can’t remember them?”
“I’m sure all that caffeine isn’t helping. Those aren’t good for you (Y/n).”
“I know I know, but it’s better than falling asleep in class.”
“I know, but nothing can replace sleep,” Adam said. He pulled away to gently brush some of her hair back, “I think I have an idea.”
 Adam ended up dragging her out of school and to his car, from there they drove to the mall in town.
“Where are we going?”
“You’ll see,” Adam said.
The mall wasn’t that busy considering it was an early morning on a weekday. Adam lead her by the hand through the mall to the back where the toy store stood. (Y/n)’s eyes went wide with excitement before looking at him with a puzzled look.
“We’re gonna get you a dream buddy.”
“A what?”
“A dream buddy, to bring you some sweet dreams.”
(Y/n) giggled and pulled him into the store. Lining the walls were various toys and figures but towards the back were giant bins of different kinds of stuffed animals of different shapes and sizes.
“What about this one?” Adam said, holding up an elephant half as big as him.
“I think that’s a little big, don’t you think?” she giggled.
“Hmmm.... maybe.”
He dug through the bins a little more, “This one?” 
It was a frog made out of a shiny fabric material.
“Um… I don’t really like the frog.”
Adam sighed, “No one ever does.”
(Y/n) dug through the other bin for a while, carefully looking over each animal. Finally she reached the bottom and gasped out.
“This one!” 
She pulled out the stuffed figure to show it to him. It was a stuffed rabbit with light brown fur and big floppy ears.
“What do you think?” she asked.
Adam smiled, “I think it looks like a great dream buddy.”
The next day when Adam walked into class, (Y/n) smiled at him.
It wasn’t fake, or tired looking. It was the same smile that made his heart flutter since the first time they met.
Class went by as usual until the bell for lunch finally rang, (Y/n) grabbed Adam’s hand and led him in the opposite direction from the cafeteria.
“Where are we going?” he said.
(Y/n) didn’t answer until she opened her locker. She pulled out the same rabbit they bought yesterday. Today it had a red heart with the letter “A” sewn onto the paw.
“I named her Sunny,” she smiled. 
“I guess it helped last night?” he asked.
“Amazingly. Thank you so much Adam,” she said, pulling him into a hug.
He smiled, “I’m just glad I got my sunshine girl back.”
She pulled back but kept her arms locked around his neck. Her smile gave him butterflies, but when she leaned in to press a kiss to his cheek his heart almost stopped. She giggled at his wide eyes, “I can’t be a sunshine girl without my sky guy.”
“Sky guy?”
“Yup.”
He chuckled.
“Because there’s nowhere else I'd rather be.”
It was his chance to lean in, but this time it was a sweet kiss on her lips.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*If you signed up for my taglist but don’t see your name please message me!
Taglist: 
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bechloeislegit · 3 years
Text
25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020
Day 23 - BFFs or Something More?
Author's Prompt: Beca and Chloe have been best friends since they were two years old. They are going into their Senior Year of High School, and things change. Beca is left out while Chloe is suddenly hanging with the cool kids. Will they remain BFFs? Or is this the end of Beca and Chloe?
Seventeen-year-old Beca Mitchell sat on the top step of her porch staring at the house three doors down on the other side of the street. She was impatiently waiting for her best friend, Chloe Beale, to arrive home from her grandparents, where she had spent the past three months.
Beca missed her best friend and couldn't wait to start their Senior Year together. Beca hoped this would be the year Chloe became more than just Beca's best friend. Beca has had a crush on Chloe for a while now, but Chloe didn't think Beca liked her the way she said she did. Beca is hoping to convince Chloe that her feelings are real.
During their time apart, Beca and Chloe had kept in constant contact on Skype and Facetime, but after a few weeks, Chloe had put a stop to those and insisted they call or text only. Beca was saddened that she couldn't see Chloe even on her phone or computer screen, but she would do anything that Chloe wanted.
Beca heard a noise and looked to see the Beales' car pulling into their driveway. Beca jumped off the steps and ran to her car. She practically squealed her tires as she pulled out of her driveway and made the short trip to Chloe's house. Chloe and her parents all looked over when Beca stopped the car in front of them.
Beca's jaw dropped when she caught sight of Chloe. The girl standing with her parents is not the same girl that left three months ago.
"Wow!" Beca muttered to herself before getting out of the car.
"Beca!" Chloe squealed as Beca rounded the front of the car and made her way over to Chloe.
Chloe grabbed Beca in a hug. "I missed you!"
"I missed you, too," Beca said, pulling back to look at Chloe. She smiled and said, "There's something different about you. Did you cut your hair?"
Chloe smiled and turned to show off her body. "Do I look amazing or what?"
"You always look amazing to me, Chlo," Beca said.
"Stop," Chloe said, blushing as she smacked Beca's arm. "You have to say that 'cause you're my best friend."
"Doesn't mean it's not true," Beca said.
"Come on," Chloe said, grabbing Beca's hand. "We need to catch up."
Chloe dragged Beca into the house and up to the stairs.
"We'll be in my room," Chloe yelled to her parents as she and Beca ran upstairs. "When did you get that car?"
"It's a super early birthday gift from my dad," Beca said. "More like a bribe, so I don't say anything to my mom about his cheating."
"Doesn't your mom know about his cheating?" Chloe asked.
"She does," Beca said, smiling. "But he doesn't know that, hence the car. Plus, this way, he doesn't have to waste time away from Sheila to drop me off at school every morning. He thinks he's slick, but my mom has been on to him for a while. I think they may be heading for a divorce."
"Oh, Beca," Chloe said. "I'm so sorry."
"You have nothing to be sorry for," Beca said. "Enough about me. Let's talk about you."
Chloe blushed slightly, and Beca made a big show of looking Chloe up and down, smiling as she did so.
"How did you lose the weight? You've tried every diet you could think of. What worked for you this time?"
"Well, you know I went to visit my grandparents," Chloe said. "What I didn't tell you was they bought a farm, and they only eat what they can grow. Plus, they're like twenty miles from the nearest pizza shop, Taco Bell, and ice cream shop. It was easy to lose weight when all your fat-inducing foods are nowhere to be found."
Chloe chuckled, as did Beca.
"I'm so proud of you, Chlo," Beca said, hugging Chloe. "So, does this mean no trip for our annual back-to-school banana splits?"
"Oh, we'll totes be getting ice cream," Chloe said, standing and holding out her hand to Beca. "I'll just be getting a single scoop cone instead of the banana split. I want a ride in your new car, so you drive."
"Fine by me," Beca said, leading Chloe out the door of her bedroom and down the stairs.
"Mom?" Chloe called out as they reached the front door.
"What's going on, Chloe?" Charlotte Beale asked as she came out of the kitchen.
"Beca and I are going to get ice cream," Chloe said.
"Okay," Charlotte said. "Don't stay out too late; you have school tomorrow."
"Don't worry, Mrs. B, I'll have her back by curfew," Beca said. "Can we bring you some ice cream?"
"Could you bring me a pint of Fudge Ripple?" Charlotte asked. "And a pint of Butter Pecan for Mr. Beale?"
"You got it," Beca said.
~~ Day 23 of the 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020 ~~
An hour later, Beca was back at the Beales' house without Chloe.
"Beca?" Charlotte said when she answered the door to find Beca standing there alone. "Where's Chloe?"
"She went to the movies with Chicago Walp and his entourage," Beca said. "Here, I brought the ice cream you wanted."
Beca handed Charlotte the bag with her ice cream and turned to walk away.
"Beca, wait!" Charlotte said, causing Beca to turn back to her.
"Yeah?"
"Please come in," Charlotte said. "Tell me what happened and why Chloe didn't come home with you. She didn't call to tell me she was going anywhere else."
"Chloe should be telling you this," Beca mumbled as she followed Charlotte into the kitchen anyway.
Beca stopped just inside the door of the kitchen and leaned her hip against the counter.
"So, tell me," Charlotte said. "Isn't Chicago one of the guys that used to call Chloe and you all kinds of names? And bullied you both endlessly the past couple of years?"
"Yes, he is," Beca said. "But, he's also one of the cool kids, and he came over and started flirting with Chloe, and she apparently liked it." Beca scoffed as she added, "He didn't even know who she was at first."
"What else happened?"
"He asked Chloe to go to the movies with them, and she said yes."
"Did they ask you to go, too?"
"No," Beca said, looking down at the floor. "I'm not one of the cool kids, so they didn't include me. And Chloe just left me sitting there without saying a word to me."
"I'm sure she'll come to talk to you tomorrow," Charlotte said. "She'll apologize, and everything will be back to normal."
"I don't think so," Beca said. "She's been inducted into the cool kids club, and I am definitely not a member, nor will I ever be. I should go; it's getting late, and school starts tomorrow. Have a goodnight, Mrs. B."
Beca quietly left the house.
Charlotte waited up for Chloe to return home. It was past eleven when she heard a noise at the door and opened it to find Chloe kissing some boy she assumed was Chicago.
"Oh," Chloe said, quickly stepping away from Chicago. "Mom, this is Chicago Walp. Chicago, this is my mom."
"It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Beale," Chicago said, with what he believed to be a charming smile.
"Mm-hmm," Charlotte said, obviously not impressed. "Chloe, it's past your curfew, and you have school tomorrow. Come inside."
"Mo-om!" Chloe whispered, her cheeks turning hot. "You're embarrassing me."
"I don't care," Charlotte said. "Get inside, now!"
Chloe ducked her head to hide her pink cheeks and stepped inside.
"I'll see you at school tomorrow, Chloe," Chicago said as Charlotte closed the door in his face.
"Mom," Chloe said. "That was rude!"
"Not as rude as leaving your best friend sitting alone while you went off with the guy who bullied you and her for the better part of the past three years," Charlotte said. "And we have a rule in this house that you call if you plan to be out past curfew. And we'll talk about that later. For now, tell me why I had to hear about your change of plans from Beca?"
"What did Beca tell you?" Chloe asked.
"Just that you were invited to go to the movies with that boy and his friends," Charlotte said. "And you left her sitting by herself when you went off with them. She didn't say anything, but I know she was hurt by it. You need to apologize to her tomorrow."
"I'll text her before I go to sleep," Chloe said quietly. "And, I'm sorry I didn't call to tell you where I was."
"Go to bed," Charlotte said, pulling Chloe into a hug. "I love you."
"I love you, too," Chloe said. "Goodnight, mom."
~~ Day 23 of the 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020 ~~
Chloe went to her room. She was feeling bad about ditching Beca and sent Beca a text.
Chloe (11:20 PM): I'm sorry about leaving you sitting alone. Will you still give me a ride to school in the morning?
Beca was still awake, listening to music when she saw Chloe had texted her.
Beca (11:25 PM): I'll pick you up at 7:40; don't be late.
Chloe (11:27 PM): Awes! Goodnight and I'll see you in the morning.
Chloe snuggled under the covers with a smile on her face. It wasn't long before she fell asleep, dreaming of the kiss she shared with Chicago.
The next morning, Beca awoke to her alarm and got ready for the first day of Senior Year. She re-read Chloe's apology for last night as she grabbed her keys and backpack. Beca hurried down the stairs and went to the kitchen to grab some toast before heading out to pick up Chloe.
"Good morning, my scrappy little Senior," Sarah Mitchell said as she entered the kitchen.
"Morning, mom," Beca responded as she bit into her toast. "Where's dad?"
"I don't know," Sarah said, shrugging her shoulders. "He probably spent the night with his girlfriend."
"Why do you still put up with that shit?"
"Watch your language, young lady."
"I'm sorry," Beca said. "Please don't tell me you're staying with him just because of me. Kick him out. You'd be better off without him. We'd both be better off without him."
"I've already talked to a lawyer," Sarah said, looking at Beca. "I'm just trying to get some things situated before I take the plunge."
"I'll stand by whatever you decide," Beca said, standing to hug her mother. "Just let me know when you make your final decision, okay?"
"I will," Sarah said. "I promise."
"Okay," Beca said. "I have to go. I'm giving Chloe a ride to school."
"Have a good day," Sarah said as Beca headed for the door. "And drive safe."
"Always," Beca called back over her shoulder as she walked out the door.
Chloe started apologizing to Beca as soon as she got into Beca's car.
"Stop it, Chlo," Beca finally said. "I get it. You got swept up in the fact that the cool kids wanted to be with you."
"That's not it at all," Chloe said, pouting at Beca.
"It's not?" Beca countered. "Then what exactly was it if not that?"
"I, um," Chloe stammered. "It, uh-"
"It's exactly like I said it was," Beca said. "To be honest, I would have probably gone with them, too. But I would have invited you along instead of walking away and leaving you sitting there all by yourself. It really hurt when you just left me sitting there alone, Chlo."
"I'm really sorry about that, Beca," Chloe said earnestly.
"I know you are," Beca said. "Doesn't make it hurt any less."
"I promise I'll make it up to you," Chloe said. "I know, we'll do laser tag for your birthday, my treat. Just the two of us. How does that sound?"
"Well, look at that," Beca said with a grin. "I'm feeling a lot less hurt now."
Chloe giggled as Beca pulled into the school parking lot. Beca found a space, and the two friends grabbed their stuff and got out of the car.
"What are you doing after school?" Beca asked.
"Chloe!"
Beca and Chloe both jerked their heads around to see who called out to Chloe. Chloe smiled at seeing Chicago coming toward them. Beca frowned and slammed her car door closed.
"I thought I could walk you to your homeroom," Chicago said when he reached Chloe.
Beca didn't want to be a third wheel to Chicago walking Chloe to class, so she walked off as soon as she heard Chloe tell Chicago she'd love to have him walk her.
"See you at lunch, Becs," Chloe said, looking around expecting to see Beca. "Beca? Where'd she go?"
"She's right there," Chicago said as he pointed toward the school's entrance.
Beca entered the school without looking back at Chloe; she hurried to her homeroom, so she didn't have to see Chicago and Chloe together.
~~ Day 23 of the 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020 ~~
Beca didn't see Chloe again until the third period. She was surprised when Chloe walked in with Aubrey and Stacie, two of the cool kids, but sat next to her.
"How are your classes so far, Beca?" Chloe asked as she sat.
"Okay, I guess," Beca said. "How were yours?"
"They were pretty good," Chloe responded with a smile. "Chicago is in both and sat next to me. I forgot to tell you; he kissed me when he took me home last night."
"Congratulations," Beca replied. "Good for you."
"What were you going to ask me earlier?"
"I was wondering if you were free after school," Beca said. "I really wanted to talk to you about something."
"I'm sorry, Beca, but I already made plans with Chicago," Chloe said. "He offered to take me home, and we're going to study. Can we talk at lunch?"
"You know what?" Beca said, turning to face the front of the room. "Never mind, I'm good."
"Becs?" Chloe questioned, looking at Beca.
"Okay, class, settle down," their History teacher said from the front of the room.
Beca would not look at Chloe. Chloe sighed and faced the teacher.
~~ Day 23 of the 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020 ~~
It was nearing the end of November, and Beca felt like a terrible friend. She tried to keep her friendship with Chloe going, but Chloe was always doing "something with Chicago" or Aubrey or Stacie. Chloe had become entrenched with the cool kids, leaving her not-so-cool friend behind.
Beca was hurt; she thought she and Chloe had something special. For a while, Beca felt like they would be a couple. Now, they were barely talking and only saw each other in school. Beca hated how much she missed Chloe.
It was nearing Christmas, and Beca's birthday was coming up. The day before Christmas break started, Beca got excited because it looked as if Chloe hadn't forgotten about her best friend after all. Beca had woken to a text from Chloe about her birthday on the twenty-third. Beca responded that she was looking forward to seeing Chloe outside of school and kicking her ass at laser tag. They made arrangements to meet at the Sports Complex on Beca's birthday.
Beca and Chloe didn't speak or text again until Beca's birthday; Chloe was still doing other things with her new friends. Beca continued to hang out with her friends, Fat Amy, Jessica, and Ashley.
Beca's birthday rolled around, and Beca texted Chloe to see if she wanted Beca to pick her up.
Chloe [9:15 AM]: That's okay, Beca. Chicago is driving me.
Beca [9:16 AM: What? You're bringing a date?
Chloe [9:20 AM]: Not a date. Just a few friends who wanted to do laser tag.
Beca [9:21 AM]: Fiends? Like who?
Chloe [9:26 AM]: Just Chicago, Stacie, Aubrey, Tom, and Bumper.
Beca [9:33 AM]: They're not my friends.
Beca threw her phone down and immediately heard her text notification go off.
Chloe [9:35 AM]: Don't be like that, Beca. It will be fun, you'll see.
Beca [9:37 AM]: No thanks. Enjoy YOUR friends. I'll celebrate with MY friends elsewhere.
Chloe [9:40 AM]: But we made plans months ago.
Beca [9:41]: That was when you were my friend.
Chloe [9:42]: I'm still your friend, right?
Chloe [9:45 AM]: Beca? Answer me!
Chloe [9:50 AM]: Beca? Come on. Please, don't be like this.
Chloe [10:00 AM]: Chicago's here and I have to go. Please meet us at the laser tag center. I'll see you there, okay?
"Not gonna happen," Beca muttered as she read the last text from Chloe.
~~ Day 23 of the 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020 ~~
"Beca!" Sarah called upstairs. "Amy and Jessica are here."
"I thought you were going to do laser tag with Chloe for your birthday," Fat Amy said when Beca joined them.
"She's going with her new friends," Beca said. "They're not my friends, so I decided to spend my birthday with my real friends."
"Are we going to play laser tag?" Jessica asked. "That would be fun."
"I don't want to go where Chloe is," Beca said, pouting. "That was supposed to be our thing for my birthday. Just the two of us."
"Let's go to a movie," Amy suggested.
"That actually sounds like a good idea," Beca said.
Beca drove them to the Mall, and Jessica and Amy treated Beca to lunch before the movie. Beca had a nice time and returned home to find her parents sitting in the living room. Two suitcases were sitting by the door. Beca looked at them and then looked to her parents.
"What's going on?" Beca asked.
"Come sit down, Beca," Sarah said.
"Just tell me," Beca said, remaining by the door.
"I'm leaving," Warren said. "Your mother and I are divorcing. I'm sorry, Beca."
Beca opened the door and grabbed both suitcases. She took them outside and set them on the porch. She came back inside and yelled, "Goodbye, dad!" and ran upstairs.
"Beca!" Sarah yelled after her. She turned to Warren. "Just leave, Warren. I'm sure Sheila is waiting for you."
Warren didn't say anything; he just turned and walked out the door, picking up his suitcases as he went.
Sarah let out a heavy sigh and went upstairs to Beca. She entered Beca's room to find Beca lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling.
"Some birthday, huh?" Beca said as her mother sat on the side of the bed. "I lost my best friend and my father all in one day. Happy fucking Birthday to me."
"I'm sorry," Sarah said. "I tried to get your father to wait until after Christmas, but he wanted to spend Christmas with Sheila."
"I'm sorry, too," Beca said.
"On a happier note, I invited the Beales over for a birthday dinner and cake," Sarah said. "I hope that was okay."
"That's fine," Beca said. "It will be good to see Mr. and Mrs. Beale."
"What about Chloe?" Sarah asked. "It will be good to see her here again."
"Don't count on her being here," Beca mumbled. "I'm sure she's still busy with her new friends."
"I'm sorry she won't be here," Sarah said. "I miss having her around."
"It is what it is," Beca said with a shrug.
"Come on," Sarah said, standing and holding her hand out to Beca. "You can help me with dinner."
"But it's my birthday," Beca whined.
"You're eighteen and considered by most to be an adult now," Sarah said. "Start acting like one."
"You're not supposed to be mean to me on my birthday," Beca said, pouting as she followed her mother to the kitchen.
~~ Day 23 of the 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020 ~~
Beca, her mother, and Mrs. Beale were sitting at the dinner table. Beca pushed her food around on her plate without really eating anything. She was still hurt over Chloe inviting her new friends to Beca's birthday get-together when it was supposed to be just the two of them.
"Carl is sorry he couldn't make it to dinner," Charlotte said. "He has his bowling league tonight. He asked me to wish you a happy birthday for him. And I'm sorry Chloe didn't make it; she's out with Chicago again. I swear I wish she'd dump that boy. He's just too into himself. And he is as fake as the day is long. I don't know what Chloe sees in him."
"He's her first boyfriend," Sarah said. "I know I went gaga over my first 'adult' boyfriend. His name was Gary. I met Warren and broke up with Gary because I thought Warren was a better catch. Look how that turned out; I ended up with a cheater who left me for his mistress. And she's older than I am!"
Beca couldn't help but smile at that. "Dad doesn't deserve you, mom."
Sarah leaned over and kissed Beca on the temple. "He doesn't deserve either one of us, sweetie."
"I always hoped Beca and Chloe would become something," Charlotte said, causing Beca to blush.
"So, did I," Sarah said. "I know Beca would have been happy about that."
"Mom!" Beca said, blushing more.
"I think you should go for it, Beca," Charlotte said. "I know you'd treat her better than Chicago has."
Beca started to say something more when her phone vibrated with a text. She glanced at her phone and was surprised to see it was from Chloe. She ignored it and looked at her mother.
"What kind of cake did you make me?"
"Your favorite," Sarah said. "German chocolate."
"I do love German choc-"
Beca's phone buzzed again with another text from Chloe. Beca furrowed her brow.
"Is something wrong?" Charlotte asked.
"You know that old saying, speak of the devil?" Beca asked. At Charlotte's nod, Beca added, "It's Chloe. She asked me to call her."
"Maybe she wants to make amends," Sarah said. "You should see what she has to say."
"I don't think I'm ready to talk to her yet," Beca said.
"I can't blame you for that," Charlotte said.
Beca's phone rang, startling Beca and causing her to drop the phone; Sarah picked it up.
"It's Chloe," Sarah said, looking at the caller ID.
"I'll answer it if you'd like," Charlotte said.
"That's okay," Beca said, taking the phone from her mother and answering the call. "What do you want, Chloe?"
"Be-Beca, I need your help," Chloe said, causing Beca to sit up straight in her chair. "Please?"
"Chloe, what's wrong?"
"I know you're angry with me, but could you come pick me up?"
"What happened? Are you okay?"
"Is Chloe okay?" Charlotte asked.
"I don't know," Beca said, holding the phone away from her mouth. "She's crying and asked me to pick her up."
Beca got back on the phone. "Chloe? Where are you?"
"Makeout Point," Chloe said, and Beca rolled her eyes. "Chicago got mad because I wouldn't have sex with him. He kicked me out of his car and drove off, leaving me stranded."
"I'll kill him," Beca mumbled, standing from the table as Chloe continued talking.
Beca was halfway to the door before Chloe finished talking. "I'm on my way, Chlo," Beca told her. "Are you somewhere safe?"
"I th-think so," Chloe said. "Please hurry. It's dark and I'm scared."
"Beca!" Charlotte called out, causing Beca to turn toward her. "Is Chloe okay?"
"She's a little scared, but otherwise okay," Beca said. "Chicago left her stranded. I'll get her and bring her back here."
"Should I go with you?" Charlotte asked.
"No, ma'am," Beca said. "I'm sure she would have called you if she was in any real danger. I think she called me so we can talk about what happened between us."
"Okay," Charlotte said. "Be careful."
Beca rushed off and jumped into her car.
~~ Day 23 of the 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020 ~~
Beca made it to Makeout Point in less than ten minutes. She looked around and saw Chloe standing by a tree, so she drove over to her. Chloe jumped into the car and threw herself into Beca's arms. Beca wrapped her arms around Chloe and held her.
"Are you okay?" Beca asked.
"I am now," she said, her voice muffled against Beca's shoulder.
"Your mom is waiting for you at my house," Beca said. "Let's go."
"Okay," Chloe said and sniffled. "Thanks for coming to get me."
"I'd do anything for a friend who needed help, Chlo," Beca said as she started driving. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"
"It all started when I asked Chicago to take me home after we finished laser tag," Chloe said, tears falling down her cheeks.
Chloe was upset because Beca didn't meet up with her. She didn't blame Beca but still held out hope that she'd be there.
"We're going to get something to eat," Chicago said.
"I'm not hungry," Chloe said. "I just want to go home. I need to talk to Beca and apologize."
"Why are you even friends with her?" Chicago asked. "She's a loser. You're with me now, and I can't have my girlfriend hanging around some gay chick all the time."
"I'm not your girlfriend," Chloe said, looking past Chicago to where Aubrey and Stacie were coming up behind him. "Aubrey, would you take me home, please?
Chicago turned and glared at Aubrey.
"I'm sorry, Chloe," Aubrey said, seeing the look in Chicago's eyes. "I, uh, I can't. Stacie drove me."
"Stacie?"
"I have to get home, so I can't take you either," Stacie said, looking down at the ground.
"Come on, Chlo," Chicago said, smiling as he turned back to face Chloe. "Let's get something to eat, and then I promise I'll take you home."
Chloe thought about her options. It was a half-hour ride home (and a much longer walk), and she knew her parents were busy and couldn't come to get her. Realizing she didn't have any other choice, Chloe agreed.
After eating as fast as she could, Chloe and Chicago left the diner and drove off. A few minutes later, Chloe noticed they weren't going toward her house.
"Chicago?" Chloe said, looking over at him. "You promised you'd take me home after we ate."
"I have to make a quick stop first," Chicago said.
"I'd rather go straight home," Chloe said.
Chicago ignored Chloe and turned off the main road. It was at this point that Chloe realized where he was taking her. Her jaw dropped open as Chicago parked and turned off the car.
"Makeout Point?!" Chloe yelled. "Are you kidding me? I am not making out with you, Chicago."
"That's not exactly why I brought you here," Chicago said, leering at Chloe. "We've been dating for three months, and it's time for you to give it up."
"Give it up?" Chloe screeched. "I am not having sex with you, either!"
"You either give me what I want," Chicago said. "Or you can get out and find your own way home."
Chloe glared at Chicago as she unfastened her seatbelt and got out of the car. Chicago was screeching away before Chloe could close the car door.
Chloe stood and watched as Chicago drove off, leaving her stranded.
"I didn't know what else to do," Chloe said, wiping at her tears. "I knew my dad was out, and my mom was going to be at your house, so I called you. I'm just glad you answered because I really didn't want a lecture from her; she's never liked Chicago."
"I can't say as I blame her for that," Beca said.
Beca didn't say anything more as she pulled her car into the driveway; Charlotte and Sarah had been watching for them and ran out to the car. The girls got out, and Charlotte grabbed Chloe into a hug. Chloe let out a sob and buried her head in her mother's shoulder.
"Are you okay, sweetie?" Charlotte asked.
"I'm okay, mom," Chloe whispered.
"Why don't we go inside?" Sarah said. "We can have Beca's cake and end this night on a bit of a high note."
"Can we, mom?" Chloe asked. "I really want to celebrate Beca's birthday."
"Thank you, Sarah," Charlotte said. "We'd love to stay for a bit."
~~ Day 23 of the 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020 ~~
After they were done eating cake, Chloe turned to Beca.
"Beca, can I talk to you? In private."
"Why don't you take Chloe up to your room so you can talk," Sarah said. "Charlotte and I will visit for a bit."
"Sure," Beca said. "Come on, Chloe, we can talk in my room."
Chloe stood and followed Beca out of the kitchen and up to her room. Beca stood near her dresser and looked at Chloe.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Beca asked.
"I'm fine," Chloe said. Seeing the skeptical look on Beca's face. "Really. I am. Okay?"
"Okay," Beca mumbled.
"I'm sorry," Chloe blurted out. "I'm sorry for becoming one of them. I'm sorry I let them take over my life. I'm sorry I hurt you."
Chloe was in tears, and Beca stood looking at her.
"I'm just so sorry about everything that's happened in the past few months," Chloe said. "Can you ever forgive me? I miss you; I miss us."
Beca reached out and pulled Chloe into a hug. Chloe fell into the hug and buried her face in Beca's shoulder.
"I love you, Chloe," Beca said. "Of course, I can forgive you. Plus, we're best friends for life, remember?"
Chloe let out a small sob. "I'm so glad to hear you say that."
"So, um, your mom said something interesting at dinner tonight," Beca said. "Something I'd like to explore when you're ready. I mean, if you want to."
"What did she say?"
"She said she had hoped that we would become something more than friends."
"I can't believe she told you about my crush on you!"
"I swear she didn't say anything about a crush. Apparently, she thinks I'd take good care of you."
"Wait! You said it was something you'd like to explore?" Chloe asked. "You mean you like me as more than a friend?"
"Yes," Beca said. "I've always liked you, Chloe. You just never believed me when I told you."
"I, um, I didn't think you could like someone like me," Chloe said.
"Someone like you?" Beca asked, looking at Chloe. "You mean, the sweetest, kindest person I've ever met? How could I not like you?"
"But, I was fat and not attractive," Chloe said, not believing Beca.
"You were always pretty to me, Chlo," Beca said. "And you deserve to be with someone who treats you right no matter what. I'd like to be that someone if you'll have me."
Chloe smiled as the tears were falling down her face. "I would definitely like that."
"Good," Beca said. "We'll talk later and make plans for our first date. Okay?"
"Okay," Chloe said. "Can I kiss you before we go back downstairs?"
Beca responded by leaning in and kissing Chloe.
"Wow," Chloe said, pulling out of the kiss with a smile. "I could get used to that. I can't wait to tell my mom about us."
Beca smiled and took Chloe's hand. She led them downstairs to find Sarah and Charlotte hurriedly rushing to sit on the sofa.
"Were you eavesdropping?" Beca asked, looking at the two women.
"No," Charlotte said. "But, I'm so happy for you both. And, I guess this means you and Sarah will be spending Christmas with us?"
"It does," Beca said, smiling at Chloe. "It most definitely does."
"It is tradition," Chloe said, reaching over to pull Beca into a kiss.
"Happy birthday, Beca," Chloe whispered.
"And Merry Christmas to you," Beca whispered back.
A/N: I know it's kind of long, but the words kept coming (sorry, not sorry). Thanks for sticking with me to the end.
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j10kkuno · 3 years
Text
 OTV and Friends Valentine’s Day shanneigans Pt 2 (And some sweet moments):
Abe finally was like, seriously now and said Happy Valentine’s Day to Wendy and posted some pictures of them that are over four years old. I hadn’t realized how long they had been together but that’s really sweet! She replied and retweeted fanart of them too. Hannah also replied to Wendy’s guess I’m free tweet so Wendy was like, since your man got bought, how about we go on a date, and Hannah agreed, sorry Abe(Hannah is dating Shroud, Lud bought an hour with Shroud for $53k for a charity auction a couple days ago). But Wendy and Abe are adorable. 
Yvonne sent Leslie flowers and so she asked Yvonne to be her Valentine and Edison @ Sykkuno and asked him to dm his address and Leslie was just like EDISAAAAAN(Words you can hear). Edison made a sweet post, and their fancy dinner plans fell through and so they got taco bell and then they did a drive through rave which Leslie loved, which was adorable. I also love that they do use finance in their loving posts, they love that joke. Also, Yvonne got cupcakes for the Fuslie house and a gift for Miyoung and Toast was jealous because she never gets stuff for the OTV house but Yvonne posted a pic about how she got donuts OTV house with proof that it was yesterday(Since Toast is in Canada :() and Toast called her a real one.
As for Ludwig, he went into Sykkuno’s chat and said he had to choose him over Karl or they’d be over professionally. And romantically. And Sykkuno was just like. Ludwig... Ludwig... Why not both, Mr. Ludwig? So that’s another professional and romantical break up, I bet they’ll be back together within days, they can’t go long without each other. Ludwig still told Karl to enjoy streaming last night so... Otherwise, QT(Lud’s girlfriend) got grocery delivered including some flowers and then gave the flowers to the delivery driver, who then almost cried and that’s so sweet.  
Tina said to wish your homies Happy Valentine’s Day and Karl was like no. Tina was like ? and only then did Karl wish her a Happy Valentine’s Day. So her friends all wished her Happy Valentine’s Day. Jummy wished her happy Valentine’s Day and it’s the first time I’ve seen a photo of Jummy! 
Otherwise, just friends being sweet to one another. Lily and Michael were sweet, Michael got her a big bouquet of flowers. Brooke got dressed up really pretty for dinner but her boyfriend wore socks and sandals and it’s like. Guys. Otherwise, I hope everyone had a fun day either single or with friends or with their partner! 
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beerecordings · 4 years
Text
Poison - Chapter 5
Part 1 l Part 2 l Part 3 l Part 4
So this was going to be the final section but it was longer than I expected! So there will be one part after this, I think, or one part and an epilogue. It should be posted next week :)
Marvin is, at last, rescued. But whether or not his brothers have been quick enough to truly save him - and what is to be done with the broken amalgamation of Anti and Chase, bound together in confusion and agony by a possession which out-stayed its welcome - is yet to be seen.
Trigger warnings for trauma reactions and hospitalization, including intubation, major illness, and forced psychiatric hold with restraints and drugging (Anti-Chase is the one in psychiatric holding). There are parts of this that could be interpreted as soft!Anti, but mostly it’s just Chase’s influence on the merged character they’ve made.
All that being said... hope you enjoy and thanks for reading :)
-----------
A
white
room.
Breathe. Breathe. Breathe, whispers the machine pumping oxygen into his lungs with a hiss.
The only noise.
The only noise.
Silence and oxygen.
Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Hisssss.
Can't feel anything at all.
Even his skin is a stranger.
Untouchable.
Colors and images and words with a vile sound to them – memories, realizes some part of him – filter through his mind like dust through the air.
Meaningless.
Meaningless.
Empty as a white
white
white
white
room.
White coat. He stares up at it. It moves. Someone's wearing it.
White sheets. They do not fidget. His body is frozen beneath them.
White man.
His blue eyes are the only color in the room.
White
room.
Dark.
Cool.
Silent.
“Schneep,” his mouth attempts, just once, and then he is asleep again.
Henrik lets himself touch his wrist. Only for a moment. Just to feel the heart still beating beneath his own fingers.
“Stay with me,” he whispers, and hopes it reaches him somewhere, a light in dark dreams. “Stay with me, my brother.”
The first night is the vital one and he’s done everything he can.
Now he has to wait.
“I’ll finish up the last of it,” murmurs Kaashif, a nurse he’s worked with for two years now, touching his shoulders. “Go check on your brothers. Get something to eat. Your hands are good ones to be in, Henrik.”
“You can say that if he survives,” answers Henrik, clapping him on his shoulder and sending one look back at Marvin, small and as white as a gutted bird in that great blank bed.
Stay with me, my brother.
--------------
The cool walls of Henrik’s office surround him, comforting in their familiarity. The table is glass, a customary splattering of papers discarded across the smooth surface. A Newton’s cradle with smiley faces on the balls that Chase bought for him rock back and forth, back and forth, soothing white noise to Jackie’s ears. He stares up at the abstract blue and orange painting on a full meter of canvas pinned up above Henrik’s chair. Jameson made it for him himself. Just some nice colors. Just something to brighten up his office. For you, Schneep.
Hospitals can be scary. Jackie knows. But for his family, this place in particular has never been an omen for them. This is where they come to pick up Henrik after long days of work. This is where they’ve shared over-priced cafeteria food and smuggled-in Taco Bell at four in the morning. This is a piece of their city, of their home, of their family. Most of the staff know them by name, or at least as Henrik’s brothers. They can get roof access just by begging Cameron the security guard hard enough. And even when they’ve come here because someone was sick or Jackie broke a bone or that one time Marvin stepped on a piece of glass after breaking a crystal ball that wasn’t working, this was never the place to come to out of fear. It was the place to come because they knew Henrik was in the hospital, and Henrik would make it better.
JJ signs something incoherent and burrows deeper into Jackie’s shoulder, sighing against his shirt. Jackie wants to smile at his sleeping face, but he’s so tired, and so full of adrenaline, and so, so, so scared.
They’ve waited for hours by the time Henrik finally slips into his office behind them, letting the door shut behind him with a tired click. There’s a long silence. Jackie closes his eyes. Please don’t let them be gone.
“You made yourself at home,” Henrik teases, stepping forward, though his voice cracks slightly on delivery. He has a point, however. Wrappers from vending machine candy and a couple bottles of fizzy drinks lie abandoned around the chairs in front of his desk, the drawers of which have been ripped open in search of entertainment – or, better put, distraction. Not that the caffeine or the many drawings of sheep given to Henrik by Chase’s kids were enough to save Jackie from the full, shaking weight of his fear. He strokes his thumb across his little brother’s wrist and reminds himself to breathe steady.
Henrik moves to Jackie’s side and puts a hand on his free shoulder. He doesn’t even look up. His tired eyes have drifted down from his painting to the glass that makes up Henrik’s back wall, where snow is drifting out of the sky.
Henrik crouches down beside him and puts his head against his arm, and for a long moment they just rest, together, listening to Jameson breathe.
“Can you talk?” asks Henrik. “Do you need somewhere quiet to go? The lights off?”
“I’m okay, Schneep,” whispers Jackie, touching the bandage over Henrik’s cheek where Marvin burned him. “Just worried. Is he…”
“He’s alive.”
Jackie’s gloved hand squeezes around Jameson’s, making his little brother’s sleepily-clutched rosary clink and glitter in the starlight. Henrik looks up to see Jackie’s face squeezed just as tight, his eyes closed.
“Is he going to be alright?”
“I can’t make any promises,” whispers Henrik. “JJ seem okay to you?”
“You heard that he fainted just about as soon as we got here?”
“Magic is exhausting. I could have gotten him a bed somewhere.”
“He just wanted to be in your office. He likes it in here. There’s been a nurse checking in on him anyway. You know how much all the nurses here love him.”
“Yeah, cause he’s always bringing baked goods to the break room for ‘my big brother and his coworkers.’”
“Aka, being the cutest person in the world.”
“Yeah. Well, when Marvin is better, he’ll know what to do to take care of magical exhaustion better than I do. And he can teach JJ everything he needs to know. And everything will be okay.”
Jackie stares up at him, seeing himself reflected in Henrik’s glasses. His fear reflected – shared – in Henrik’s eyes.
“What happened?” he whispers. “Tell me everything.”
What a fucking night. What a fucking night. Henrik laughs without knowing why and goes to sit down on his side of the desk, burying his face in his hands.
Jackie waits, watching him. Eventually he leans down and picks up a Dr. Pepper, sliding it towards his brother.
“I’m going to pretend this is whiskey,” says Henrik, and he pops the cap and chugs the half that remains, making Jackie give him a faint, amused smile, which is all that matters to Henrik right now, really, because it’s all he can do.
He explains to Jackie what he can, trying not to go too fast. Jackie sits there holding Jameson and listening quietly to Henrik talking about things like renal failure and sedatives for seizures and a cool white room with all stimuli set to a minimum and muscle relaxants pumping into their brother to stop any more convulsions – not to mention what sounds like enough activated charcoal to detox a sickly elephant. Marvin’s intubated, Henrik explains, and extremely unwell. He won’t know for a couple days how bad the damage to his body will be. He could still die. And no, they can’t see him. No one can. Not for days.
“I could wear all white,” Jackie tries to bargain, voice rasping. “I could be really quiet and not touch him.”
“You can’t, Jackie. The risk is too high.”
“I can’t just sit with him? I can’t see him through the window of the room?”
“There is no window to the room. He has to rest. Alone. Quiet. No color. As little movement as he can. He won’t even be conscious for a couple days.”
Jackie bangs his fist against the arm of the chair in an effort to be contradictory, but he doesn’t take his head off Jamie’s. He buries himself against his brother’s hair, hoping Henrik won’t see him cry.
“Listen, Jackie… I need to give you the medical professional talk now, okay? I need you to know this. I’m not trying to be pessimistic and I’m not giving up hope, just – ”
“It’s okay, Schneep,” says Jackie softly. “I already know most people who get poisoned this badly die.”
A silence falls between them. Henrik stares at his own hands and says nothing.
“Cottonmouth?” he manages eventually, looking up at his brother.
“Dead,” mumbles Jackie. “I’ll let the cops handle that one. It’s horrible, really... even for her. Wonder what Moccasin will do.”
“Right,” says Henrik, his voice a little dark, and Jackie thinks that his little brother doesn’t think it’s so horrible at all, that she got what she deserved. “Yeah.”
Jameson shuffles sleepily on Jackie’s shoulder. The snow is quieting outside.
“And Chase?” Jackie whispers.
Found after all this time. Found after all this time.
Found like this.
“What did the police say?” asks Henrik.
“They almost tried to take him back to the station! I could have pounded them for it! But I looked after him til the emergency responders said he should go to the psych ward of the hospital. Wasn’t going to let pigs touch my little brother.”
“Is he going to be arrested once he’s better?”
“I don’t think so. Max is pulling some strings for us. He knows Chase isn’t… himself. He’s going to buy us time to deal with this.”
“Well, if they do try to put him on trial, I can always smuggle him back to Germany.”
Jackie laughs despite himself, covering his face with his hands for a moment, trying to keep it together.
“I won’t let anything happen to him. He can’t, like, glitch away, right?”
“As far as we can tell. He’s heavily drugged.”
“And how is he?”
“I, um. I don’t know.”
“What?”
Henrik looks up at him, face drawn and guilty.
“Schneep, they told me you were looking after him.”
“I meant to. I mean, I wrote up his treatment plan and everything and I had the nurses give him everything he needs. But I couldn’t go in there. I got – I got…”
Henrik trails off, mouth pursed. Jackie sighs and pulls his face up from JJ’s hair.
He got scared.
“He doesn’t really look like Chase, does he?” he murmurs.
“Or act like him,” Henrik all but whimpers, clutching at the white sleeves of his coat that hide the pale string scars underneath. “He acts like… like him, and I couldn’t…”
“It’s okay,” says Jackie. “It’s not your fault, Schneep. I’d be nervous too.”
“Will you go with me?” he asks.
“You still want to see him?”
“Yes.” Henrik tries to look resolute when he nods. “I do, yes. I need to help him with this. I need to find a way to save him, Jackie. I think I can do it. If you’re there.”
Jackie grins at him, hallowed by the stars and the snow outside. There’s his Schneep. That’s his tough little brother.
“Course, man. That’s what I do. They don’t call me Jackieboyman for nothing.”
“They call you that because you are a dork. Come on. He’s in the psych ward.”
“Wait, what about Jamie?”
“Oh, I talked with the nurse. He’s just sleeping. For once. So he should be okay to keep resting a while. Call me when he’s possessed and/or someone’s fed him gopher poison in revenge for imprisoning their drug lord partner.”
“Don’t even joke, von Schneeplestein. Don’t even joke.”
He picks Jameson up and readjusts him in the chair, leaving him sleeping deep and dreamless beneath blue and orange canvas, warm with Jackie’s hoodie wrapped around his shoulders.
At least Jackie gets to see this one resting.
Now it’s time to go poke a bear.
-----------------
“Where am I?” he asks himself, staring at the ceiling above him.
White ceiling. White bedsheets. White light, painful on the eyes after so long in unconsciousness.
“I think… a hospital?” he answers, his voice weak, his tongue terribly thick in his mouth. “Please, no words… oh, I ache…”
He’ll think instead. It’s easier.
This is a hospital?
I think it is.
I don’t want to be here! Let’s get out.
Look, in the doorway… the men who look like me.
He turns his head more fully towards the door, breathing anxiously.
Those are the men I ran away from?
I don’t remember… did I? Oh, our head… we have to lie back down.
He sinks into the pillows and nearly passes out again, his head throbbing and his limbs sluggishly motivated, tasting blood in his mouth.
He doesn’t remember much of that day he went away.
In fact, he doesn’t remember much at all.
He thinks there was a train that day, or maybe not a train. A train underground. He was holding… something soft. He was holding something soft. He was smiling.
He was on his way to see his children.
He was on his way to see his kids. Yes, he was smiling. He was smiling very big.
The subway rattled merrily around him as he sat clutching the stuffies he had bought them to his chest, his eyes bright, grinning at the exhausted assemblage of people headed to work around him. Things were good, and Hunter had been excited to see him on the phone, and Stacy was going to go out of town and let him stay with them, and everything was going to be okay. Everything was going to be better than okay. Everything was going to be perfect.
And then he wasn’t who he was anymore.
There was nothing theatrical about it, really, nothing like in the movies, with throes of passionate fighting against the thing inside your head or a look of horror as the eyes turned black in the mirror. Anti did sit suddenly down beside him, yes, emerging from the crowd though he had not been there when the subway doors closed, and Chase’s heart took flight like a bird after a gunshot cuts through the air. He said nothing. Clutched Izzy’s stuffed seal tighter to his chest. Tried to breathe. Anti did not speak either.
A few minutes later, he was aware of a change in himself, and then he was lost, and as time went on, Chase only grew more and more lost within the dark tangle of trees and bristle and thorn in which he found himself. He cried out for his family. No one could hear him. He struggled. His hands tore open on the sharp wood and blood would seep through, moment to moment, staining together his consciousness and Anti’s, embedding him deep within the forest until, at last, he looked up and found Anti looking back at him, gripping his shirt, his arm, his hair, his body, desperate to tear him out of the forest they shared.
Entirely without success.
This was not what either of them meant to have happen. They were bound and bolted together, both caught in a constant recoil and a constant coming together. Anti was as tangled up as he was. Their blood seeped into the earth. Eventually the creature that remained – fae and man and monster and brother – forgot that there had ever been two to begin with at all. There was just him.
In pain.
And in confusion so great as to match it.
But despite that confusion, he thinks, now, as his eyes flicker open, that he recognizes the man in front of him, the one who has come into the room, leaving the other out in the hall, looking anxious and defensive.
He had recognized the other man a couple days ago, hadn’t he? Hanging from handcuffs? Convulsing with poison? They had stalked him, he thinks, and then, when he saw him in those chains, something in inside him snapped like a tree branch on the forest floor. Who was he? What was his name?
I wanted to see him die so badly.
He… loved me…
“Chase?”
He blinks drowsily, trying to come awake.
“Let me the fuck out,” he hears his own voice, thick and strained. “No…”
He is hand-cuffed to both sides of the white bed.
Confinement. No. Not this. He can’t bear it. To be chained down. Filthy mortal flesh, keeping him stuck, keeping him static, his whole being drowning under muscle and bone, unable to get out from the man’s body, from… his body?
We’re okay. I’m okay. Stay calm. Here I am.
He’s nothing but a sniveling excuse for a healer anyway.
Yes. He’s pathetic. I am strong. I’m here. We’re here. Hold on to me.
“Chase. It’s me. Are you okay? Please say something.”
He looks up again, eyes burning.
“Oh,” he says, feeling a smile, a sneer, grow malignantly across his face. “I knew I recognized you somewhere.”
“Yes,” the man whispers, eyes warming with relief. “Yes, my brother. It’s me. It’s me.”
“Of course,” he whispers back. “I still remember how beautiful you were chained to my basement floor. My lovely little torturer. I knew you’d come back to me one day, my doctor.”
Henrik’s body tenses, his pupils going small, his heart caught in his throat.
“I’m not scared of you,” he manages after a minute, but his eyes turn down to the ground, his posture shrinks small and submissive, and his hands clutch together as though he can hold his own heart and protect it inside of them. In the hallway, Jackie puffs up with worry, not allowed into the room by the shadowy figures Anti can see guarding the door. “I want Chase. Give him back to me.”
“Give him back to me,” he mocks, tilting his head, and when his eyes flash black Henrik whimpers and leaps up from his chair, jerking back towards the door and almost falling over his own feet. “Stupid little doctor.”
“Where’s Chase? I want him! You’re not him! You stole him from me!”
“I am and always have been the AntiJack,” he laughs, tearing against his restraints, panting as he tries to force the flesh to glitch, but, oh, he feels so heavy, so sluggish, so pinned down. Needles protrude from his arms. He cannot reach back to tear them out. “The one who is not him and the one who pretends to be. I am the reverse and the imposter. I… I am… ungh, Schneep, what did you even give me?”
“Enough calmatives to keep a horse on its knees,” spits back Henrik, wiping his hair shakily from his eyes. “You’re not going anywhere.”
“Little fucker,” he mumbles, feeling his head drop onto his chin. “Bet you had to have the psych ward nurses do it, huh? Little man? You were always such a little coward, Schneep… letting everybody else do the big boy work… sitting in your little office, sorting through your papers, pretending you can do anything to save anyone. You just… you… fuck, I h-hate this flesh… fucking let me go.”
He tries to palm at the old scar on his head, groaning as pain lances through his brain. Another one of the random aches the body gets. He needs to lie down and sleep through it if he can. That’s what he does when the body is in pain. Maybe get some of the bitter, fermented liquids that humans like to help him quiet himself down. He’s gotten such a taste for whiskey. He can hear himself mumbling, trying to reorient himself, and his hands burn for his neat little notebooks. He has to keep track. He can’t just lose himself. He can’t just keep losing such big pieces of himself.
Hold on. Hold on to me. We’re okay!
I’ll get out of this like I always get out of trouble.
Yes, I’m okay. Focus on this little bastard. Confining me… who does he think he is?
We should rip him open like a candy bar wrapper.
“I can’t let you go,” the doctor tells him, slipping nervously back towards him. “Don’t scratch at your palms like that.”
“I’m going to cut you up like the little sardine I always meant to make of you,” he purrs, sing-song, scratching away at his palms until the blood comes, relieved for the pain to focus on. “I’m going to pluck the feathers off you, little bird, alouette, gentille alouette, alouette, je te plumerai.”
His own singing begins to calm him, his exhausted eyes flickering shut. He thinks the song was an old lullaby anyway.
“I will pluck your feathers out, I will pluck your feathers out. On your head, on your head, and your neck, and your neck, and your back, and your back… and your chest, alouette… ungh, too much medicine, Schneep… my head hurts. I’m going to skin you and make you into a hat for Jay… for J… for the other boy, the one with the… what’s his name, I…”
Henrik touches his bloodied palm.
He stills.
The doctor wipes the wet blood gently from his hands and bandages them. The soft pads of his fingers drift along the veins of his palms. Of his wrists. Of his fingers.
Someone is touching him.
Someone is touching him, touching him gently.
“Marvin?” he hears himself say. “Brother? Are you there? Where are you?”
“He’s resting,” whispers Henrik. “I am looking after him.”
“Yes,” he says. “Schneep. Look after him. Alouette, gentile alouette, alouette, je te plumerai…”
A needle is jammed into his throat. He screams, his fingers tightening around the hand holding his own and digging down into the back of it, his black eyes flashing open to stare at Henrik even as the world seeps rapidly away.
“You won’t be in control much longer, Anti,” murmurs Henrik, some deep and agonized fury glowing in his eyes as he shoves him back onto the bed. “Don’t pretend to be my little brother. I am not your slave anymore. I will find a way to set Chase free too.”
Anti can hear himself laughing as the darkness swallows him up.
“Please,” he thinks his mouth moves to say before he loses consciousness. “Yes, please, someone set us free.”
He is so lost, and this forest is blacker than blood.
------------
“What do we do?” whispers Henrik, hiding in both the stairwell and Jackie’s chest.
“I don’t know,” Jackie whispers back, letting himself slump against his little brother. “I don’t know.”
They stand in the cold of the stairwell and they hold each other.
“Try to remind him who he is,” suggests Jackie finally. “Try to help him get himself free, since it doesn’t feel like we can do hardly anything. And… wait for Marvin to wake up?”
If he does wake up. Henrik grinds his teeth and presses closer into Jackie’s shoulder. “I hate waiting,” he growls.
“I know, man. Me too. Me too.”
But they’re doing everything they can already.
Please let it be enough.
Please don’t let them be gone forever.
They stand – for a long time – in that cold stairwell. They hold on to each other.
------------
Marvin sees, in his dreams, the poison.
On his handcuffs he is immobilized as an insect in dark amber, his blue eyes glittering, agonized, in his skull. There is nothing left in him. He can feel death like a dog at his throat.
“Marvin,” sobs Chase. “Marvin!”
“Here I am,” he needs to say. “Here I am, amata! I’ll help you. I’ll fix it!”
But he can’t speak and he can’t move. He can barely stare down at Chase beneath him, watching the poison fill his little brother up.
“Marvin, there’s something in my head! Please help me! Where are you?”
His eyes flicker and drip blood and Chase whimpers, clawing at his head as his irises move through a dance of different colors. In the end, they settle on black. He heaves and something like ink comes pouring out of his mouth.
“I don’t know what to do,” Marvin croaks. “I don’t know how to help.”
He can feel his body convulsing on a bed and strong arms holding him gently, protecting his head. He can feel their heart beating through the point of contact. He can feel Henrik’s hands.
“Here I am, here I am,” he is whispering to him. “I’ll help you. I’ll fix it. Just hold on for me, my brother.”
“Schneep,” he tries again. Maybe he could speak this time, but something cold and plastic has filled his throat up, and his pain is so high his whole body trembles from it.
“Here I am. Here I am. Marvin, don’t die. I can’t lose you. Just rest. Here I am.”
A needle slides into his throat. Fog fills his head like a lake at dawn. He sleeps.
But he doesn’t sleep forever.
-----------
Someone is whistling softly around the room.
Back and forth, back and forth with a sweet song Marvin doesn’t recognize. Maybe he’s just too tired to search his brain for the sound of the song and find its name. Memories have been painful recently anyways. He will just stay right here in the present. And listen to the pretty song.
He lies there for a long time, feeling stunningly comfortable and incredibly cozy for the first time in days. Being awake is nice. He thought it would be scary again, but it’s nice. Nice with pretty music. He can tell he’s been taken out of that silent white room where he was all alone for so long, and he’s glad of it. His eyes slide open. Nice with pretty music and a comfortingly familiar figure wandering across the room, back and forth, back and forth.
There’s a rush of dazed fondness through Marvin’s head. He hears himself giggle strangely, his head flopping back against his pillows. He’s so sleepy but he feels so nice, really nice.
Jamie’s whistling cuts off and his nice shoes tap against the floor as he hurries to Marvin’s side, sitting down in a hard plastic hospital chair at his side and reaching tentatively for his hand, though he doesn’t quite touch him. Marvin turns his head again to look at him, smiling dizzily. He sees the trepidation in his little brother’s face and tilts his head quizzically, his fingers twitching for his hand. Jameson should know he can always hold his hand if he wants to. Everyone has different boundaries in their family, but Marvin doesn’t think he’s ever been bothered by Jameson touching him, at least not since they first became friends.
Jameson smiles softly and touches his hand. Or his fingers, more like. Marvin frowns and looks down his arm.
Did he break it? There’s a stiff white cast from beneath his wrist all the way up to his knuckles. Jameson makes a soft, soothing sigh of a noise and scoots closer to him, cradling his weary fingers and rubbing his arm above the cast.
Marvin decides he feels too nice to be distressed about it. He smiles again and tries to make the sighing noise back at Jameson. Jamie smiles and Marvin feels delighted about it. He finds his other hand after a moment of mentally searching his body for all of its parts, and this hand is only bandaged around the wrist, so he reaches out to touch Jameson’s face, carding his fingers lovingly through his beard. Jameson’s eyebrows shoot up for a moment, but he doesn’t protest, still smiling gently down at him.
Is Marvin in the hospital? He doesn’t know why. He feels great.
Jameson’s free hand reaches up to sign, but Marvin snatches it out of the air and draws it fondly to his face. Jameson looks surprised for certain at that, but he only laughs. In his right mind, Marvin would probably realize it was rude to stop him from signing, but he isn’t exactly in his right mind right now.
Jameson frees his other hand from Marvin’s broken one and holds it up flat above his head. It’s a sign that usually means “tall.” Right now, Marvin’s pretty sure it means “high.”
He giggles wildly, squeezing his eyes shut. That’s so funny. He is, yeah. He’s so high. He’s high like a teenager. Henrik must have gotten him the good stuff, the really good stuff. Mhhh. It’s nice. He’s high! He laughs and runs Jameson’s fingers across his cheek, though a sting of pain stops him and he jerks in surprise, opening his eyes to look up at JJ, alarmed.
“Broken,” signs Jameson gently, bringing Marvin’s hand back to his cheek. He feels bandages and, beneath them, scratchy stitches. “Healing.”
He doesn’t want his cheek to be broken. That’s so mean and sad and he’s going to look so ugly. He scowls at Jameson and shakes his head, tears prickling in his eyes. Jamie smiles with real sympathy and sighs at him again, massaging his good hand.
Okay, that’s nice again. Marvin takes the hand and puts it in his hair and Jameson runs his fingers across his scalp without protest, close enough that Marvin can feel his familiar warmth. Marvin blinks sleepily and touches his mouth. Jameson chuckles and begins to whistle for him again.
That’s nice.
That’s all really nice.
He feels good.
Everything’s okay.
“Okay?” asks JJ.
Marvin nods, a dopey grin fixed on his mouth.
“Talk?”
Marvin pauses, confused.
“Talk,” repeats Jameson slower. It’s a sign that means speak or sign. Communicate. “Feeling okay? Talk to me?”
Oh, yeah, talking. That’s something people do. Marvin coughs and looks up at the ceiling.
Um… talk.
He can do that.
It’s easy. You just kind of open your mouth and make sounds. For words you know the meaning of. Or you just put your hands up and move them. Come on, Marvin. You’re a fucking linguistics major. He has to be able to find the right words somewhere in his addled brain.
But he just… can’t.
He looks over at Jameson, who’s assuring him it’s okay if he can’t talk or doesn’t want to. “Just need to rest,” he’s soothing, and Marvin can read the words perfectly on his hands, understands and processes immediately. “Just take it easy, okay? Should I get Schneep?”
He understands everything he’s saying. He’s not intubated anymore and his throat is sore, yes, but not sore enough to silence him. But he can’t speak. He can’t find the right words.
Something’s wrong.
“It’s okay,” promises Jameson, moving forward quickly to thumb away the tears sliding down his face. “Poor Marvin, big brother, it’s okay. Love, love.”
But it’s not okay. Marvin stares up at the ceiling, trying to find the right words, and he begins to realize just how not okay everything is.
This is the hospital. He’s in the hospital and he’s high on morphine or whatever it is Henrik gave him. He’s in the hospital and his cheek is broken and his wrists are bandaged and beneath the warm haze of the drugs there is an undercurrent of pain waiting to swallow him whole the moment his medication is reduced. A thrill of fear squirms down his aching spine.
Something bad must have happened to him.
Something bad happened and then… and then…
In his dreams, poison.
“Ch-chase.”
Warm water runs down his face. He stares up at the ceiling, mouth trembling. Jameson leans in close to him, his face sad and worried, and all Marvin can seem to do is reach out and touch him, running his fingers through his hair as his memories float back to him, faraway but painful still.
“Chase,” he whimpers.
In the whole of his brain, it seems to be the only word he can find, and he clings to it, staring up at Jameson, begging him to make it all better and tugging at him, trying to bring him closer, closer, wanting to know that his little brothers are safe.
“Chase. Chase.”
JJ sighs his soothing sigh and climbs carefully into the bed beside him. Marvin’s never been more grateful to have someone next to him in his whole fucking life – except, maybe, when Jameson and the others arrived in that cold and terrible basement to save him from his torment. The memory turns his tears into quiet sobs.
Jameson wraps his arms around him and puts his head in his chest. Marvin runs his fingers through his brother’s hair and cries against his pillows, exhausted and unhappy, feeling broken and sick. Jameson’s body and the soothing of the drugs are his only protection against everything that happened, and he clings to them like the lifelines they are, repeating Chase’s name in a soft, miserable daze no matter how many times Jameson tries to tell him he’s alive and receiving treatment in the psych ward.
That’s how Henrik finds them perhaps an hour later, though Marvin can’t seem to get any track of how time is moving around him. He’s gone quiet, but still the hot tears are dripping down his cheeks. Still he’s stroking Jameson’s hair and remembering all too clearly the things that happened to him and the sight of his little brother filled up with Anti’s poison.
“Marvin,” Henrik whispers, real fear in his voice, and Marvin looks up and sees his own mortality in his friend’s eyes.
I’m not okay, am I? he wants to ask, but even for this, he cannot speak; he cannot find the words.
Henrik touches his unbroken hand. Marvin wraps his fingers around Henrik’s and Jameson cuddles closer against his chest. The three of them breathe together, in silence.
Eventually, Henrik turns Marvin’s medication back up, and the world becomes warm and pleasant again, and he listens to Jamie whistling for as long as he can keep his eyes open.
--------
“This place really is a shithole,” says Max, teething at his lip as he stares around the trashed little apartment. “What exactly are you looking for?”
Jackie tears the drawers open and then slams them shut again, shaking his head as he continues his ransacking. “Just anything that’ll help Chase, I guess.”
“Couldn’t you get something from his room back home? This place is a dump. I don’t think Anti’s been buying him souvenirs or anything, you know?”
“I tried bringing him stuff from home. Actually he played Animal Crossing for a little while after I had the nurse bring him his Switch, but he didn’t even look at the pictures of Hunter and Izzy and he doesn’t really seem to… get it. It’s like he doesn’t even remember.”
Jackie sighs and closes the fridge, tossing out a couple packs of rotting deli meat. There isn’t much else in there and the cupboards are bare of anything but an empty pack of Oreos and half a jar of black olives.
“Schneep won’t listen to me when I tell him about the journal,” he says. “About how Chase and Anti both got, like, mashed together. He thinks Anti’s trying to trick me and Chase is just tucked away somewhere in their head, sleeping or watching or trying to get out.”
“Well, there’s a chance he’s right, right?” In his boredom, Max has begun cleaning, wetting one of the abandoned shirts on the floor with water and wiping the counters down. “Schneep probably knows Anti better than you do, to be fair. Maybe that journal was just moments of weakness.”
“Okay, yes, he does know Anti better than me. But I think the fact that Anti’s done so much to him is making it really hard for him to see anything but Anti in that person. Even when he acts like Chase, he thinks it’s a trick. I don’t know. I just want to try everything I can.”
“That’s fair,” says Max. “I mean, he can act all he wants, but we found those toys still here, so he can’t be entirely immune to some cute shit, even if he is mostly Anti.”
Jackie stands up straight. “Max, you’re a genius.”
“Oh,” says Max, flushing dark and shifting his weight from side-to-side, a shy smile on his mouth. “What did I do?”
“Where are those stuffed animals? They were for his kids. If he kept them, they have to mean something to him, right? Or he would have destroyed them. Plus they’re just nice to cuddle with, I bet.”
“They were by the mattress.”
Jackie moves over to the mattress and finds the stuffed animals flopped against the wall where he left them. He takes them back in his hands and buries his face in them, rubbing against the soft fuzz of Izzy’s dragon and the smoothness of Hunter’s squished seal.
“I hope you guys have been keeping my little brother company while he’s been trapped,” he mumbles, shoving them into his hoodie pocket. “Let’s get these back to the hospital.”
“Get you a coffee and a snack on the way?” offers Max, still dark in the cheeks.
Jackie frowns up at him, getting to his feet. “I should really get back.”
“You’ll make Schneep more stressed if you don’t take care of yourself,” says Max.
“That’s… true.”
“Come on. I’ll get you whatever you want.”
Jackie can’t help but smile, chuckling as he steps towards him. “You’re too good to me, man.”
Max is definitely blushing now, but Jackie’s always known him to be shy. “That’s what, uh, friends are for,” he answers, smiling back. “I’d, well. I’d be happy to get you something, Jackie. I like to.”
“Hey!” A voice in the doorway makes them both turn to find a disgruntled-looking old man regarding them uncertainly from the hallway. “Here to tell me why my tenant’s gone missing? He’s about three months behind on rent and now he’s disappeared.”
“Don’t worry about it,” replies Jackie easily, picking up Chase’s old bracelets from the windowsill and heading towards the door. “I’ll pay you that and however much it is to end his contract. He’s not living here anymore. My little brother’s coming back home.”
“And if Anti comes back here,” adds Max. “Call the cops. He’s wanted for murder. Like… a lot of murder.”
“What?”
“Send us the bill! Bye!”
-------------
“Hey, is that Jamie?” asks Jackie, still shoving fries in his mouth. He hasn’t eaten all day. Luckily he funneled all of the rest of Henrik’s leftover pasta into his mouth while crying last night at eleven while home alone because Schneep forced him to go try and get some sleep at home, but other than that he’s been missing meals. It was pretty good pasta. Salty.
“What?” says Max, tilting his head.
And then, after a moment:
“Yeah, that’s definitely Jamie.”
“I wish that just once it wasn’t one of my little brothers being weird in public. Just once!”
“Says the vigilante!”
Jackie snorts and rolls down Max’s window. “Hey! Dippin’ dots! What are you doing standing mysteriously in front of a random alleyway with a tray full of hospital cafeteria food? You okay, Jamie?”
Jameson turns around, blinking down at the tray of food in his hands. He looks confused as to how it got there and looks up to shrug at his brother. His eyes are burning silver.
“Fuck,” swears Jackie, leaving his fries behind and getting out of the car. “Here, give me the tray. Another vision?”
“I just felt like I had to come here,” mumbles Jameson’s hands as he stares dazedly down the alleyway. “Like it was important.”
“You walked a couple blocks from the hospital in a trance?”
“I… guess I did?”
“That sucks, bud, I’m sorry you got confused. We’re going to have to keep an eye on you while you get this magic stuff figured out. Got your location on on your phone?”
“Yes, Jackie, like you always tell me.”
“Thatta boy. Come on, poor guy, let’s get you out of the cold.”
Max grins at Jameson as he gets back in the car. “We have to stop meeting like this,” he teases.
Jameson smiles back weakly and rubs at his quieting eyes. “Thanks for picking me up. It smells like Wendy’s in here.”
Max looks at Jackie. “Should we turn around and go back to Wendy’s?”
“We should turn around and go back to Wendy’s.”
“This must have been what my trance was for,” signs Jameson cheerfully, setting aside the cafeteria food, and Jackie laughs and passes him the rest of his French fries. He’s glad Max made him take a break. He’s been stressed. In retrospect, the crying into his pasta might have been a red flag about his anxiety levels.
But everything will turn out okay. It has to. It has to.
-------------
Marvin needs surgery on his wrist.
“Just going to put you under for a little while and I’ll do it myself, okay?” says Henrik, sitting at his side. “Quick surgery, not too many wrists. Risks, I meant. Dammit. You had some tearing from the convulsions while you were in the handcuffs and it’s broken, but it should heal okay in a few months after this gets done. Does that sound okay?”
He tries to smile at Henrik. His little brother smiles back, rubbing his shoulder slowly. Marvin can tell he’s scared, but not about the surgery. He wants to ask him more questions, but he still can’t seem to speak, and Henrik isn’t offering up a lot of information. Probably for his own good. He’s still on a lot of medication and Schneep keeps saying he doesn’t need to stress. Just rest and keep fighting. Rest and keep fighting. Marvin doesn’t know how to choose to do that.
He doesn’t know if he can.
But a surgery on his wrist isn’t too scary, not while he’s this high and Henrik is here reassuring him.
“Sign this for me, okay? Saying you’ve been informed.”
He hands Marvin a form on a clipboard. Marvin can read it just fine – basic shit about informed consent and risks involved. Apparently there’s a chance of losing all feeling in his hand, but he figures he’s a lot more screwed over if he doesn’t get the surgery, and he trusts Henrik anyway, even if he probably shouldn’t be performing on family. He signs the paper with his good hand.
Or tries to.
All that appears on the paper in one long squiggle.
He stares down at his attempt at a signature, faintly alarmed through the haze in his mind, and then up at Henrik. A faint whine falls from his mouth, a weak attempt at his brother’s name. Henrik frowns and scoots forward, worried, looking at the paper as he holds it out to him.
His mouth purses. He looks back at Marvin and doesn’t speak for a moment.
Marvin touches his throat. “It’s probably just the drugs,” murmurs Henrik, trying again to smile for his sake. “But I think I’ll have the speech specialist come see you when you’re ready. Lie back down, alright? I bet Jackie will be a ball of energy as soon as he hears you were awake, and I’m going to schedule your surgery for tonight. Okay?”
Marvin nods.
“You can understand me just fine, right, my brother? Can you blink twice for me?”
Marvin blinks, once, twice.
Henrik smiles and grips his good hand, eyes warm and concerned. “Okay,” he says.
And then, to Marvin’s surprise, he takes off his coat and he stays.
“Technically I’m on my vacation days,” he murmurs by way of explanation. “So I told Nadia you’re the only patient I care about. Okay, you and that really cute kid on third floor. He’s my favorite.”
Marvin smiles wide and earnest this time, and Henrik smiles right back.
“Should I read to you?” he asks.
Marvin nods. He would like that. Henrik gets out Life of Pi. Marvin’s been meaning to read it.
“This book was born as I was hungry. Let me explain.”
His accent is so warm and familiar these days. Marvin remembers long nights spent up with him, Henrik home from a graveyard shift and Marvin home from a night with his friends. A night like the other night, but without getting kidnapped before he could go home. A good night, and Henrik’s dry wit and unspoken love when he came home maybe the best part of it.
“In the spring of 1966, my second book, a novel, came out in Canada. It didn’t fare well. Reviewers were puzzled, or damned it with faint praise…”
Marvin listens to him read and thinks that he could write a book of his own, just about his wild little family and everything they’ve been through. He thinks about how this could have been the end of his book. Maybe it still will be. He made his peace with it when he was in those handcuffs, or at least when he got the chance to see Henrik and the others one more time. Maybe they should have let him go then. Maybe that was the end of it, and the chapter closed, and the book would leave you feeling sad, but also moved by it in a way that mattered more than you had realized it would when you began reading.
“… Green hills heavy with mists would lie at my feet and the shrill cries of monkeys would fill my ears. The weather would be just right, requiring a light sweater mornings and evenings, and something short-sleeved midday…”
Green hills heavy with mists. Monkeys and clean warm air and bright light somewhere on the horizon. He daydreams to Henrik’s voice and Martel’s words and thinks that this isn’t so bad, not really. Yes. Maybe this is meant to be the end of him yet.
But Chase.
Chase.
The only word left on his tongue.
He has to help his little brother. He can’t end the story without him. Without knowing he’s safe, and well, and maybe even, if Marvin can swing it, happy.
Marvin registers vaguely that his eyes feel oddly swollen, and then he lets himself loose in the world Henrik is presenting for him, and drifts without fear, on a boat in the ocean with a tiger still sleeping in the empty bed on the other side of his hospital room.
------------
He stands in the doorway in black and white, with a pair of stuffed animals clutched to his chest.
“What do you want?”
His voice is loud and slurred, his head rolling back against his pillows, straining his neck and coughing. Determined wrists pull weakly at their restraints. The ferocity of his words is undermined by the low, agonized groan he gives out afterwards.
“What do you want?” he repeats again, shrill and screamed. “Let me go, let me…”
Jameson sits quietly down beside him, the seal and the dragon on his lap.
“Little fucker,” mumbles Anti, mumbles Chase, looking up at his big blue eyes and his all-too-sweet expression, so soft and concerned. “Pinned me down. Gave me a concussion. Little brat. I’d be home right now if not for you.”
Jameson nods, tilting his head back and forth a little as though admitting it.
“I’m tired, Jamie,” he says, thunking his head back against the pillow.
“You’re on a lot of medication.”
“How are you in here, anyway?”
“Jackie’s friend is distracting the cops for me.”
“Jackie having a friend,” he growls. “There’s the real shocker.”
“You and Jackie are friends,” answers Jameson calmly. “You love him.”
“Shut the fuck up, you sappy, weepy, pathetic little child of a man. What you come in here for, huh? You want to see your papa? Does Chase take care of the little baby? Everybody knows you can’t take care of yourself, after all. You’re just a whining, mute, needling little – ”
“Is your pain very high?”
Jameson can see him trying to breathe. It doesn’t look easy. He’s stressed. He’s scared. He stares at Jameson and doesn’t seem to know how to answer.
“Anti,” he says, his hands clear and careful. “Chase. I know you both very well. And the truth is that I don’t want to see either of you in pain, even after everything Anti did to me. I still remember the days when I thought of you as my family. When I loved you.”
He stares down at his bedsheets. Jameson sighs and gets to his feet, standing over him, and he shudders and gives a soft whine, curling in on himself, his face pale and frightened.
“Do the nurses treat you well?” asks Jameson. “The cops leave you alone? Have you been out of this room at all?”
“I want to go,” he whispers, licking at his dry lips. “I want to go back home. I want to – I want to – I’ll make you all pay for this. I’ll slit Henrik’s white throat like I always meant to do and you and Jackie can writhe for trapping me here. Your fault, your fault… please let me go, p-please, I’m…”
Jameson places the seal stuffie on his lap and the dragon on his shoulder.
He breathes in the smell for a moment, his hollowed eyes flickering. The last six months have not been good for him, for either of his fighting parts, but they did manage to hold on to some things here and there – most importantly, a place to stay, a place where he wasn’t trapped and no one hurt him, where there was a soft, if broken mattress and a couple soft animal toys that made him feel happy somewhere in the back of his mind. This dragon smells like home. His fingers touch the soft body of the squished seal.
“I don’t know what you think this is going to accomplish,” he mumbles, wishing he could wrap his arms around himself, because he is the only person who has held him in months and his flesh is aching for it. “I’m not… I’m not… not what you think I am.”
“Like I said.” Jameson sits down beside him again, his hand resting gently on the bed beside Anti’s. A little closer and he could touch him. “I know you both pretty well.”
His fingers touch Chase’s.
He goes very still.
Jamie holds his hands and they sit together for a long time.
The lights buzz above them. Outside the window of the room, a pair of finches flicker back and forth. The sunlight touches their skin.
Jameson draws away a moment. His brother chokes, shaking his head, groaning for the loss of him, but he only gets to his feet and places his body against him, wrapping him into a careful hug. Warm arms encircle him like a sweater and squish comfortingly against his body, and all he wants to do – all he wants to do in the whole fucking world – is wrap his arms around JJ in return and pull him into his lap and be held for hours. He’s panting and burying his face against Jameson’s chest, whimpering to be touched at last, to be kindly touched at last.
“Chase,” Jameson signs against his heart. “Chase, my Chase.”                        
Chase clings to his hands and cries.
“Please let me go,” he begs. “Please, please, I can’t get it out!”
“I’m right here,” promises Jameson, kneeling down to look at him and stroking his hair. “You’re going to keep fighting, okay? You’re going to cast him out.”
“No, I can’t,” he cries. “We can’t tell each other apart anymore. You have to help me, I can’t, I got lost, I got stuck! I tried, I promised, I wanted to go home. Now I can’t even remember what home is. We’re too tangled up!”
“We’re going to help you get him out, okay?”
“There’s nothing you can do. Please, you have to let us free. Kill us, JJ, we’re tearing each other apart.”
“Hey.” Jameson takes his hands in his own for a moment and squeezes them before drawing away again to speak. “Don’t say things like that. You will only get yourself stuck in this place longer if you do. Besides, Anti’s always said things like that to manipulate me. You won’t move me with words like that.”
“There’s nothing you can do,” he screams, and when he grabs Jameson by the side – the only place where he can reach him with his hands restrained – and digs his overgrown nails as hard as he can into his little brother’s stomach, Jameson does not so much as flinch, just closes his eyes and waits for the rage to go away. “Stupid little boy! This isn’t something you can remove with kind words or Henrik’s scalpels.”
“Then we will find another way,” answers Jameson, soft crescent moons of blood welling against his shirt. “You have to trust me.”
“You betrayed me,” he hisses. “Left me behind to go be someone else’s family. Left me alone!”
“You didn’t treat me well, my brother. I’m happier without you. Without Anti, at least. I gave you everything I was. If you had been kind to me, I would have stayed.”
He scowls and shoves him away, gritting his teeth and seething, nuzzling his face against Izzy’s dragon, tears running down his cheeks. “Look how weak we are,” he cries. “We both broke each other. There’s nothing you can do… nothing anyone can do… I’ve been trying to get free for so long.”
Jameson sits down again, tucking away the small bloodstains on his shirt without anger in his eyes, and when he takes his brother’s hand again, he does not try to dig his nails into his palms. Just holds on to him.
“I can’t promise you I have everything figured out right now,” says JJ after a moment of comfort. “I don’t know exactly how to save you, Chase. But here’s what I do know – you are touch-starved. You are scared and you have every right to be. You’re not well and you’ve lost a lot of weight because you’ve never known how to take care of human bodies well. So here’s what we can do. I’m going to make sure you’re getting some Cymbalta, because that was Chase’s prescription when he was suicidal. And I’m going to sit here with you as long as I can so you’re not alone and I can touch you. And I have Wendy’s. And you’re going to eat it.”
He holds up a brown paper bag with a pig-tailed girl on it and smiles. “Because the hospital food is pretty shit and I don’t blame you for refusing it.”
He stares at him, eyes wide. Jameson stares back, smiling.
“You’re out of your mind, baby brother,” he says, and then he laughs despite himself, weak and shaken, and takes Jamie’s hand again.
“Probably,” he signs with one hand, and gets up to kiss the side of his head and feed him a handful of fries.
There’s only so much he can do. But he will do it. He will do it. And he will love him with every moment that passes, harder and harder, until Chase can find his way back to him.
“When did you get so grown-up?” he whispers, when an hour has passed and they are sitting together in silence.
“When someone gave me the chance to grow up,” Jameson replies gently.
“I loved you, you know.”
“No,” says Jameson, and his eyes still love him, but his heart knows better. “No, Anti, you didn’t.”
They rest together, hand-in-hand, and the finches come and go, singing.
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lovemesomesurveys · 3 years
Text
Do you have any tan lines? Nope. Have you ever wished you could stop time? Yes. I’ve also wished I could speed it up. Is there any pictures on the wall you're in? Yeah, there’s several. Who was the last person who called you? My mom. Did you make any money today? No.
Have you ever fallen and twisted your ankle? No. What was the highest place you've ever jumped from? I haven’t jumped from anywhere. Have you ever gone swimming in a river? No. Ever been so unfortunate to slip on wet rocks? Nope. When was the last time you got completely soaked by rain? It’s been a long time. One of the times that comes to mind is when my mom, aunt, a former friend, and I were at an outdoor festival and we got caught in an unexpected rain storm. It just started pouring down hard and we were not prepared at all. We had to run back to our car, which was parked a good distance away and yeah we were absolutely soaked. 
Is there something you really want to buy at the moment? I’d love to be able to book a beach vacation getaway. Would you ever consider culinary school? No. I’m not a cook and have no interest in trying to become one. Do you ever watch the clouds, to see if they look like objects/animals etc? I did when I was a kid sometimes. When was the last time you didn't want to get out of bed? That’s me everyday. It’s a real struggle. Are you excited for anything coming up in the near future? No. My foreseeable future consists of more doctors and appointments and struggles and spending most of my time in bed. Speaking of dancing, do you know any real dance moves? I know them, but I can’t do them. Do you save cards from your birthday/x-mas, etc? Yes. What was the last souvenir someone got you? A shirt. Do you have a favorite remix of a song? One of my favorite covers is Adele’s cover of George Michael’s “Fast Love” that she preformed at an award show in honor of him after he died. I can only describe it as hauntingly beautiful. I really wish she would have released a studio version of it. When was the last time you printed something off? I don’t recall; it’s been awhile. Are you one of those people who can learn music/songs by ear? No, I wish. There was a guy in my piano class I took my senior year in high school that could do that. It was really cool. Has the power gone out recently? No, but I have a feeling it will happen soon. It always does when we have a lot of triple digit degree weather, which is what this week has consisted of. Do you like driving at night? I don’t drive, but I like nighttime drives. Like, whenever I travel I love leaving really early when it’s still dark out. It’s a different experience. Does seeing roadkill make you sad, or just grossed out? Both. Does wearing heels make you feel sexier? I don’t wear heels. What do you think is the most saddest sounding instrument? The piano can sound that way. What day do you go back to school (if you're in school)? I’m forever done with school. When was the last time you've gone shopping with a friend? It’s been a few years. Do you ever go out to dinner with your Mom? We haven’t physically gone out to eat for dinner in quite a long time.  What is your favorite kind of salad dressing? Ranch. Have you ever bought fireworks? Not me personlly, but my dad and brother do every 4th of July. Do you really pay attention to the ratings on movies? Sometimes, but I ultimately decide if I want to see it or not. Have you ever snuck in to a theater/dance/bar etc? No. If given the chance, would you go to Ireland? Sure. Who was the last person/website to send you an email? I don’t feel like checking. Has your phone ever rang and scared you? Yeah. I’m such a jumpy person anyway. If you have a cat, does it ever "converse" with you? I don’t have a cat. If given the chance, would you ever fly in a fighter plane like the F-16? No. Are you afraid of standing on the edge of hills/skyscrapers/cliffs etc? Uh, YES. Do you have a favorite species of wild cat (tiger/lion/cougar etc)? No. Do you support the funds designed to protect endangered animals? (Like WWF). I haven’t done much myself to support them, but I’m glad they exist. What type of a drunk are you? (Obnoxious, calm, emotional, violent, etc) I was a chatty drunk. I feel like I was annoying, ha. I was also the sad drunk. Do you have an absolute favorite name (boy or girl)? I love the name Alexander. Are you good at pronouncing foreign words? Uhh, depends. If you're not already, when do you plan on getting married? I don’t want to get married. Can you tolerate the smell of cigarette smoke? Nooo. It honestly makes me sick, like I get lightheaded and dizzy, I get nauseous, and I get a really bad headache. When listening to music, do you usually tap your foot etc to the beat? I sometimes tap my fingers and hands. Have you ever literally cried on a friend's shoulder? No. Was there something that "made your day" today? It literally just turned midnight, so today is just now starting. Do you have a favorite kind of chocolate bar? White chocolate. Are you happy that it's summer? Ugh, no. It’s hot and miserable. Is there anything that you should be doing right now? I’m about to make my nightly bowl of ramen.  Has anyone had expectations that you just couldn't live up to? (finishing this a couple hours later...) That’s how I’ve been feeling. Are you currently in a relationship? If so, how long have you been dating? Nope. Would you ever consider being a DJ at a party if you were paid? Nah. Have you ever tried those electric toothbrushes? Wow, this question makes it seem like they’re so futuristic and rare lol. Yes, I use electric toothbrushes. Are you or anyone you know devoted to "being green"? Not overly so, no. When it comes election time, do you vote (if you're old enough)? Yes. What was the last movie you watched that was on TV? I watched Fear 1994 on Netflix recently if that counts. How long have you had an account on bzoink? I don’t have an account on bzoink. Do strapless bras work for you? I don’t like them. I only wear them if I have to, like with a dress. Do you have a favorite hair elastic that you use almost always? No. Has anyone told you that they wanted to marry you/ were planning on it/etc? No. When you were younger, did you have a yoyo? I did. I couldn’t do any tricks, though. What was the last video game you played, if any? Animal Crossing: New Horizons. Has anyone ever called you nerdy? Yeah. Have you ever had to call 911? Yes. Has there ever been a tornado near where you live? No, fortunately. Are you a rollercoaster addict? Noo. I’m a big scardy cat. Do you feel comfortable enough to wear short shorts? No. I’m very self-conscious about my legs. About my body in general, really. If you have iTunes, do you find the Genius recommendations helpful? I don’t even recall what that is; I haven’t used iTunes in almost 10 years. Are you quick at looking up numbers in phonebooks/ words in dictionaries? Phonebooks, wow.  I haven’t used a phonebook or actual dictionary in yearsssss thanks to the Internet/Google.  Have a favorite actor/actress from Old Hollywood? (Marilyn Munroe, etc) Lucille Ball. Out of Biology, Chemistry and Physics, which are you the best at? None of those. Is there a friend you can always talk to about anything? I don’t have any friends. Can you stand spicy foods? Not anymore. :( It’s gotta have like barely anything like McDonald’s or Taco Bell mild hot sauce type of stuff. It’s wild because I used to be obSESSED with spicy food. I put hot sauce on everything and had a high spicy tolerance. Then a few years ago I developed a sensitivity and I can’t even have red pepper flakes now. It sucks. What's your opinion on people who stretch their ears? Hey, do what you want. I’ll admit the really stretched out lobes freak me out, though. Do you think tattoos are expressive art or unattractive? To me they can be either one, it just depends. What is your school mascot? -- Do you find black and white photos to be pretty? Yeah. Food you make doesn't taste as good as food made by others, true? Sometimes. Especially foods like sandwiches for some reason. I think they’re way better when my mom or a deli makes them.  Is there a certain color that doesn't look good on you? I don’t think I look good in anything, so. Have you ever heard anything interesting about Nova Scotia, Canada? Not that I can recall. Have you ever seen a bear in the wild? No, thankfully. Do you know when you will get to see your significant other next? I’m single. What's the book you're currently reading? ”Such a Good Girl” by Willow Rose. Is your room currently a disaster? No. If going to a concert, do you prefer it to be outside or in a stadium? Definitely in a stadium.
Do you have a case for your camera? I use the camera on my phone, which I do have a case for. Can your cellphone take a beating? I’ve dropped it a few times and so far so good. Is there a month you prefer over others? October and December. Do you ever buy lottery tickets? Just a couple of times. Can you recall the most disturbing movie you've ever seen? A Clockwork Orange is one. Are you more of a tape or a glue person? Tape. Of course, it does depend on what I’m doing. In some cases, glue is the better option.  Has anyone you know gotten mono? Not that I know of. What is/or was your graduating year? I graduated UC in 2015. Have you had a weird dream lately? All my dreams are weird. Have you ever gotten an autograph from someone famous? Yes. Do you own a pair of slippers? No. Do you ever watch VHS movies anymore? No. I don’t even recall the last time. Has your computer ever decided to completely erase itself? No, but I’ve lost stuff because of viruses back in the day. :(
Only when the power goes out do we realize how much we rely on it, true? It definitely becomes quite apparent quite quickly. Have you ever picked an apple off the tree and eaten it? No. Can you say yes / no in different languages? ”Si” and “No”, ha. Are you good at styling your own hair? No. Especially not anymore since I just don’t have the motivation or energy to do anything with my hair, which is why it was always up in a bun. I finally just cut it really short and have been wearing a cute wig if I go somewhere cause that’s all I can to do right now. I am sad, though. It was so long.   Out of the traditional superheroes, which one is your favorite? The Scarlett Witch and Iron Man. What color is the shirt you're wearing right now? Black. Have you ever been lost? Physically and figuratively, yes.
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graceeast · 3 years
Text
Diary of high school meme
 this is a joke NSFW 18+
Part 1
My bro walks up to me and is like Benny how you feeling? I say I feel great, even though that’s not my name that’s not my name. Then we both hit the woah at the same exact time.
Then his VSCO girlfriend says an I opp sksksksk. Then she says WHO EVER JUST SENT YOU THIS JUST DUMPED YOUR ASS!
Then my guy turns to her and says respect the drip Karen!
Then I say no matter what, he will always come back to me.
Then my bro and I hug no homo though. Then we walk away to the song Rockstar by: Smashmouth, while doing the floss aggressively.
Then we go and play Minecraft together while drinking Bang and eating Doritos till one in the morning.
But then my bros mother Linda sent me home. ☹
 
Part 2
Linda is such a bitch “B-I-C-T-H in that order!” she always makes me leave A-arons house at one thirty in the morning.
Later that week A-aron and I took a seat in class. Then our teacher kept talking about China and how more then half our exports come from there.
Then A-aron went outside to vape. Karen then comes over and says give me your Juul. Then I say no Karen that Juul coast me sixty dollars. I had to get a senior to pay for it. I only work at Chilis so it took three paychecks to buy.
That night I worked and everyone at once said “Welcome to Chilis!” I just ignored them and kept walking as I usually do.
I go home then check my Reddit and Twitter fifty times to make sure I am still verified.
 
Part 3
The next day comes and I pick up A-aron up in my sick 2001 Toyota Camry it is beige of course only the sickest color.
We then get Karen and you won’t believe what she did… she yeeted my vape out the window! What the fork Karen! That took three paychecks from Chilis to buy.
Karen then says she hates that place and last time she ate there, they messed up he order. So she complained to the manager.
Damn Karen, I don’t need her anyway I will always have my bro A-aron. Our nights together watching Shrek 3 and Cars 2… Best movies ever! And of course, listening to our lord and savior Daft Punk on full volume.
 
Part 4
A bunch of kids are doing a fundraiser for Harambe and I am all for it of course “save the whales.”
And that’s why I only use Twizzlers to drink my RedBull. I don’t always drink RedBull but when I do I use a Twizzler as a straw then eat it.
Later I texted A-aron on my Nokia phone I sent him exactly 69 memes at exactly 4:20 as it is totally lit to do so every day. I said we should totally get back at Karen for throwing my Juul. He disagreed with me, then I told him to stop being such a girl. Then he says don’t assume my gender and I said look man I had no idea. Then he said you just did it again. I give up!
Then I smoked the devils cabbage and went to sleep #Blazeit
 
Part 5
A-aron and I made up he bought me a new Juul and said that our friendship is never ogre. So then I said #Fam! Then he and I did our secret handshake which consists a dab the woah and five different Fortnite dances.
Today I started dating Kim Vardashian she is a #skinnylegend who is also thicc with two c’s. I can’t wait till we can aggressively hug! But she is embarrassed of our love because I am a freshman and she is a senior.
I think today is the day I try out for the school play we are putting on the production Mulan 3. I want to play the part of Simba.
That night for dinner A-aron and I got Subway #I’m lovin’ it, it was mmm… mmm… mmm… finger licking good. Then we bought two cotton candy Juul cartridges from Kim and vaped all night.
 
 
Part 6
My Nokia phone stopped working so I went to the closest Radio Shack and got a brand-new Blackberry with a slide out key pad. It was very dope!
Since it was Saturday I went home and hardcore gamed on my Tamagotchi. It died ☹… it was sad until a new one came, and I bought all the snacks for it!
Kim is such a slut she broke up with me and told me she was only dating me because I have a job and gave her money to buy stuff from Gucci. Then she told me 20$ a week was not cutting it. Then I told her that’s all I make in a week. Now I also work for Walmart to make more money. But I guess it still was not enough for her. Damn Kim at least I have A-aron   
 
Part 7
A-aron and Kim got together I tried telling him that she was a bitch. But the #thirstisreal for him like he is the Sahara Desert when it comes to women. He really doesn’t care but I will be there if his heart gets broken.
Today is also my cousins 18th birthday and he is getting a tattoo. Its going to be a 95 the 9 is going to be a butterfly and the 5 is going to be a bee, and under it will say float like a butterfly sting like a bee Kachow -Lightning McQueen
He is actually going to get two tattoos the other one is going to be a glass of milk, swiss cheese, yogurt and under that one its going to say #legen-dairy #veganforlife. He is also getting Gingy from Shrek slippers
 
Part 8
Karen got hit with a tour bus!!! We rushed her to the hospital and to the psych ward cuz she cray cray.
Its been a month since A-aron and Kim got together I am very surprised. We all visited Karen today and then Kim said they were expecting. Then Karen said boom pregnant.
Apparently, the baby is going to be a reincarnation of Donald Trump and the baby is going to be huodge. But this is all according to Karen. But it seems legit, so I believe it.
I’ve been taking care of Karen’s dog Lo-Maine. He wares a Supreme hoodie and a Rolly on his wrist and even has Jorden’s and I must dress him every day #1stworldprobs.
 
Part 9
Karen got released today from the hospital and to celebrate she stole her moms ID and went to Iowa to celebrate. She then sent me a video of herself, “Hi my name I Kendall and I am here in Cedar Rapids once again asking for your support.” Your support for what I thought but then I saw it Kendall Landers-Linton 2020 president, Kendall must be her mom’s name.
Kim is now 5 months prego and still hanging on strong and everyone helps her with stupid shit like the teachers tell her she can have extensions on all her assignments. So unfair I get an erection every hour and I don’t get extensions on anything except my dick.
Who would vote for Karen I mean she looks like a 40-year-old woman, but she’s crazy to think that they won’t figure out that she’s just 20 and a senior in high school.
That day was crazy, so I went on my computer and watched my extra special anime movie if you know what I mean 😉. Jerked the turkey for 30 minutes and felt way more relaxed after my little session thank god for Japanese henti.
 
Part 10
Today we watched the Sanic the hedgehog movie it was the best movie ever in the movie Shrek and Sanic have a relationship. They end up getting married and having aggressive sex while listening to all of Smash mouths songs. Then they had hedgehog ogre hybrid babies they were so ugly that they were cute.
I later sat in class with A-aron he said that after watching that Sanic movie that he wasn’t sure if he was ready to be a father. Because Shrek and Sanic made for a really good couple and were good at raising their kids. I told him not to worry and that if he watched all the Shrek movies and played all the Sanic games that he had already learned all he needs to about fatherhood. He felt relieved after I said all that, he said it was good that he did all the necessary research we then dabbed and then the bell rang.
Kim went into labor at lunch it was really disgusting, but interesting because all these people came, and our school nurse Joe Biden delivered the baby. Kim decided to name her son Boe Jiden after Joe Biden’s name, the school nurse was in tears until he saw another baby coming out. It’s a girl!!!! Kim named that kid Karen Jr. after her best friend. It was amazing then I told A-aron that his sperm must be made of steel since he had two kids, he then punched me in the arm no homo though.   
Part 11
All of the sudden another baby just shoulder dropped itself out of Kim. It was a boy!!! "I will name this one Jim Cenass" (all of the sudden from the corner you here horribly played kazoo it plays the John Cena fan fair) do do do do... it's that new transfer student Korona Tortilla Vanbargen Sale Pool Noodle the 4th KTVSPN4 for short. Jim Cenass starts waving his hand in front of his face as of to say you cant see me then he just goes ham on our school nurse Joe Biden. The principal Jeb Bush had to break up the fight. Then Jim started fighting Boe and Karen jr. It was something else.
Our new transfer student KTVSPN4 is very strange she kinda keeps to herself but at least she made friends with Kim and Karen. She's from China and is such a cry baby she keeps complaining that her sister died of this weird disease. But other then that been helping A-Aron with his three babies Jim is a handful and we have to keep him away from the others but it's kinda hard now because they have already started calling and Jim can walk.
Part 12
Today I was just sitting in Chillery Hiltons history class when all of the sudden I heard loud noises coming from above me. Then Boe and Joe just shoulder dropped onto the teacher it was very strange. Thankfully Chillery is going to be ok!
Later that day Kim's babies are getting baptized by our local priest Dr. Phil. Jim was not having it and started going ham on Dr. Phil. Dr. Phil then say y'all need Jebus in your life. Phil then #getsrektmydude. And Bylieye Eyelash starts playing her song I'm the Evil Man which was perfect for the occasion.
We all had an assembly today our principal Jeb said it was to recognize great teachers in our school. "Best dance teacher Shreckira" Shreckira goes up and can not hold herself together it was major aco taco.
"Lane Jinch for best gym teacher" Lane goes up and says "I know I'm the best." "Sernie Banders best public speaking teacher" Sernie goes up and gives a 50 page long speech how he doesn't deserve this. "Steve Harvey for best health teacher and guidance counselor" Steve then goes up and starts talking about how important college is and the birds and the bees. And last but not least "Beyonce for best music teacher" Beyonce comes up and starts singing my Heart will go on by Celine Dion. Jeb then says please clap!
Part 13
Today Karen got Lo majne trained to be a service dog naturally every one at school wanted to pet lo majne. Karen was like "I'm working bitch" so we all backed off because Karen is crazy!
Today I went to the super market and you know your boy broke yo. So I tried to take some stuff you know and you will never believe what they did. They tried to arrest my ass I dont deserve this I'm broke and now they want me to go to court. Like type 2 diabetes ain't no body got time for that. My lawyer says they will fight for me they dont have a gender and they call themselves foxy Roxy. Hopefully foxy Roxy has my back and we win.
Hey I'm foxy Roxy I usually work at a drag strip club and men eat me up. Just when you thought your husband was straight oh no honey he ain't. I make about 10million pennies or should I say 10 million penis's every show and I live in a trailer with my sweet heart wide boy and I will win this
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spaceskam · 4 years
Text
our fainted thrill carries on (9/13)
ao3
Michael took a deep breath as he stared at the cabin.
Alex’s truck wasn’t there and he was supposed to just be getting his things so he could go back to miserable living in the airstream. Still, it hurt. He felt like he’d fucked up. Which, he had, but he also still felt like he wasn’t wrong either. Yeah, maybe Alex lied to keep him from leaving, but wouldn’t it have said more if Alex had given it to him and he’d chosen to stay? Why didn’t Alex trust him enough?
He rolled that key over in his palm, the one Alex had given him and that he’d never had the option to use. It got caught in his bandana and almost fell to the ground, but Michael caught it and pressed it into his skin. Was it weird that he kind of wanted to burn it there?
Michael walked up the steps of the porch and slowly fit the key into the lock, turning it with ease. He swallowed hard and pushed the door open.
It was strange to be there now. It didn’t feel like home anymore. Or, it did, but it was like he didn’t fit there. He’d gotten that privilege taken away. Alex had told him he was always welcome no matter what, but… 
He made his way towards the bedroom and saw all of his clothes neatly folded on the bed, waiting for him. Beside the stack was the piece of that ship, glittering in all its glory. Michael’s chest ached and he looked away from it, walking to the other side of the bed and climbing onto it. It still welcomed him, still smelled like Alex, and Michael was probably tired enough to actually fall asleep. He didn’t realize how hard it would be to sleep without Alex again.
Instead, he reached over and grabbed the remote to the TV, turning it on to watch the cameras. He’d gotten used to watching them all the time and waking up in the middle of the night to Alex watching them after a nightmare. He was so paranoid at night regardless of how much he tried to hide it. Michael had yet to figure out how to counteract that. It hurt him to know that Alex probably hadn’t slept at all the night prior.
Stupidly, he rewound the footage to see Alex doing just that. He was curled up in bed, looking at his computer. Michael decided to be creepy and he watched him for a while, curling up in bed as he watched Alex stay up all night and look over to the empty side of the bed every once in a while. Fuck, why couldn’t they ever just talk?
“What are you doing?” Rosa’s voice suddenly said.
Michael nearly jumped out of his skin as he sat up, eyes feeling a little too heavy as he scrambled to make it look like he wasn’t watching Alex. He wasn’t really quick enough.
“You’re supposed to be getting your clothes and leaving, not taking over his bed,” she said. It didn’t take a genius to know that her tone wasn’t it’s usual playful anger. This was real anger and it was 100% for him.
“I’m gonna go, I just…”
“Wanted to make Alex feel worse?” she clarified. He pursed his lips and shook his head, leaning back into the pillows. He wanted to be welcome there again.
“You do realize Alex lied to me, right? For a long time,” Michael pointed out. Rosa nodded curtly.
“And you publically humiliated him,” she said. He sighed, shifting in the bed. He pulled a pillow into his lap and hugged it close.
“We’re both in the wrong then,” Michael said. Rosa rolled her eyes and walked into the room. She sat down on Alex’s side of the bed.
“You are,” Rosa confirmed, “And you need to tell him that. Because I learned that I would much rather have you two fucking above me than have him blaring Blackfire at 2 in the morning while making bread for comfort.”
Michael smiled a little bit, “He listened to Blackfire for comfort?” 
Rosa swatted his arm, but that didn’t keep him from feeling a little bit of joy at that. Michael didn’t know much about Alex’s mother, but he did know that she’d spent the first five years of Alex’s life laying grounds for the punk he’d grow up to be. The idea that Alex went with political rock music for comfort was almost adorable.
“He’s really upset. He was happy with you,” Rosa pointed out. Michael’s shoulders slowly dropped and he nodded, eyes going back to the camera monitors. They were paused on Alex getting up to go into the kitchen, probably to do what Rosa had said.
“I know,” Michael said, “But he lied to me.”
“Why didn’t you just talk to him? Why let it build?” 
“I tried. I gave him so many opportunities and he never did,” Michael scoffed, feeling that anger rise in him all over again. He didn’t know why Alex would be so insistent about honesty if he wasn’t going to abide by it himself. It didn’t make any sense.
“People make mistakes. Just like you did when you called him out in front of everyone,” Rosa said, “So talk to him now. Find out why he didn’t tell you.”
“He told me why. He said he didn’t want me to leave the planet, so he kept it from me,” Michael explained. Rosa was quiet for a moment, so quiet that Michael had to look over at him. She was just staring at him like he was the stupidest person in the world. “What?”
“You both have the emotional intelligence of a fucking thumb, you know that, right?”
“Like you have any room to talk.”
“I do because I’ve had nothing to do for the last three months but watch psychology videos on YouTube,” Rosa said. Michael rolled his eyes. “You need to just talk it out. No yelling from either of you. You guys were happy.”
“Is this what you told him?”
“No, I told him to leave you alone because you’re not worth it,” she answered honestly. He scoffed, but she didn’t seem phased. “Look, I’m on his side. But I do think the only way you two are going to be able to get past this is if you talk, you make it clear you’re not going to leave the plane, and he makes it clear he isn’t going to keep things from you anymore.”
Michael ran a hand through his hair. “You don’t get it. This whole fucking thing was built on us being honest. That’s what we established over and over and over. He broke that. It was the one thing.”
“Was it the one thing? Or was it just trust in general?” Rosa asked, “Because you know he was lying for a while before you freaked out. What changed?”
Michael let out a heavy breath. What had changed? Sure, he found out about Sanders, but what else? Why take it out on Alex?
“I… I guess it was because he’d become more open about everything else and it hurts that he was able to do that when he knew he was lying,” Michael tried, “Like, how could he say he loved me so much if he was lying about something he knew was important to me?”
“Yeah, he was wrong to do that. But he wasn’t lying about loving you, even I could see that,” Rosa said. Michael groaned, throwing his head back as he hugged the pillow tighter. How fucked was it that he’d gotten into the habit of wanting Alex when he was sad? 
“So, what? I just should apologize, forgive and forget?” 
“No,” Rosa told him, swatting his chest again, “You should talk to him.”
Michael breathed in deep and felt his hand seize up, letting him know that he’d been clenching it for too long. He hated this. He hated that he wasn’t allowed to have good things. Why couldn’t he just put in the effort once and everything that followed magically be fixed?
His eyes drifted towards the piece again and he stared at it for a while. It felt like it was taunting him. It was no longer something Alex kept from him to keep them together, now it was just a stupid reminder of what was keeping them apart. How the hell did he fix that?
“I hate everything.”
“Welcome to life, Guerin.”
-
“So, I talked to my uncle‒you’re welcome, by the way‒and I got him to believe that I stumbled upon our history naturally.”
“And he bought it?”
“Of course. He had no reason not to.”
Alex accepted the bag of Taco Bell that Cam all but hurled at his face. They’d agreed to meet up at Kyle’s apartment after work to go over some details of what to do next. He didn’t mind. More time away from home meant more time to not focus on the distinct smell of rain that Michael had left in his room.
 “He told me he couldn’t tell me much over the phone, which I buy. He wants me to go to Alburquerque to have a talk with him and my cousins so they can catch me up,” Cam carried on as Alex unwrapped the burrito to put hot sauce inside, “I have a feeling they know Jesse Manes tried to talk to me.”
“But aren’t they on Jesse’s side? Like, M.V.C. was originally meant to help, but it went dark side. Isn’t all of it tainted? Meaning your cousins and uncle too,” Kyle said. Cam nodded, taking over the side of the couch.
“I’m sure, but that doesn’t mean they like Jesse. I mean, your dad was apart of it and he wasn’t Jesse’s biggest fan by the end of it,” she explained. Kyle nodded in understanding. “Point is, I agreed to go down there this weekend.”
“Do you think that’s a good idea?”
“Of course not,” she scoffed, “Who do I look like?”
“A woman with a plan,” Alex chimed in. She flashed a little smile before nodding.
“You two are coming down with me. While I’m talking to my uncle, you two are going to go talk to my cousin. Just… a little undercover,” she said, looking between them, “I want you guys to get a feel on him without him knowing who you are and see if we can gauge just how much sketchy shit they’re in.”
“How are we supposed to do that?” Kyle asked.
“I did a deep dive and my cousin Casey frequents a gay club in his free time,” Cam explained, turning her eyes to Alex, “Gonna need you to turn on the charm, Manes.” He raised an eyebrow.
“Why me?”
“If I had to sweet talk your brother, you have to sweet talk my cousin.”
“I didn’t ask you to do that, that was Kyle.”
“Okay, and you think Kyle can believably flirt with another man for information?” she said, giving Alex that look like they both knew the answer. And they did. Kyle was a lot of things, but manipulative wasn’t one of them. He didn’t think he’d be able to do that at all.
“Okay, fine,” Alex agreed. Not like he had anything holding him back. Besides, maybe it could be fun.
“I feel like I should be insulted,” Kyle commented. After a few seconds of them staring at him with faces that said ‘really?’, he just rolled his eyes in reluctant agreement and went back to his taco. 
“So, I’m thinking I go to my uncle’s and he gives me the rundown of the operation. When he tries to recruit me, I say yes, I get unlimited access to other information we might not have in the Valenti and Manes files,” Cam explained. They nodded, downloading the plan in their minds. It really was a good distraction. Much better than the bullshit Michael had decided on. “Alex goes to the club, charms Casey, ask him about his tattoo. I trust you to be able to dig into that without coming off as a threat. Kyle, you can either go with Alex or stay at the hotel and make sure we both make it back.”
“I’m going with Alex.”
“Why? I don’t need backup,” Alex said. Kyle just tilted his head in doubt. Alex raised his eyebrows. “Why the fuck do you think I need backup or that you of all people would be helpful backup?”
“Because…” Kyle said, waving his head in a flippant little circle as if he should know. Alex just kept staring and so did Cam, waiting for him to explain what his thought process was. He eventually sighed. “Look, you’re the strongest person I know, but… that’s going to be an overwhelming environment.” Alex rolled his eyes.
“I’m fine.”
“Yeah, I know you are, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to worry.”
“Kyle, I am a grown ass man.”
“Yeah, and I would feel better if I could watch over you when you’re trying to go after someone who may or may not want to kill you because you’re related to your dad,” Kyle said, “So just let me come and we’ll both be happy.”
Alex rolled his eyes, but decided that wasn’t really something he could argue. If Kyle wanted to play babysitter, he could.
“Fine,” he agreed. Kyle smiled like he was proud of himself.
As Cam started to go over how exactly she’d worded that conversation with her uncle, Alex’s phone buzzed. He very reluctantly fetched it out of his pocket in the middle of taking a bite of his burrito, feeling dread slowly build in his system as he saw Michael’s name. Now what?
Michael: I’m sorry
Michael: I shouldn’t have yelled at you in front of everyone like that. I want to be better than that and I’m sorry
Alex stared at the two messages, completely lost on how to respond or if he even should. An apology was nice and all, but it still felt weird. He wasn’t quite sure that he deserved an apology. Or, at least, not for that. That was a natural reaction to being lied to. He more so would’ve preferred an apology about the whole sleeping with him out of hatred thing. That hurt more.
“Alex.”
He snapped his head up to see Kyle and Cam staring at him in two completely different levels of concern. He locked his phone and dropped it.
“Are you okay?” Kyle asked, voice a bit softer, “We haven’t really… talked since yesterday. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” Alex sighed, shifting in his seat.
“You can talk to us, you know?” Cam said honestly. Alex’s eyes drifted to her and she made unbreakable eye contact. He wasn’t actually sure what he did to deserve a friend like that.
“I’m just… I don’t know, I feel like he was being unnecessarily cruel. Which I guess, like, isn’t that out of character for him, but it… I don’t know, it feels worse than usual somehow,” Alex said before groaning and leaning back into the couch. His eyes mindlessly drifted to the front door and then the windows. 
“Well, it is worse. You two have been on a good page for a couple months now. It hurts more because it is worse,” Kyle said. Alex shrugged a shoulder. 
“I guess. Just hate that he decided it was okay to make me think we were moving forward when it was really just, like, fake,” Alex said, that wave of pain twisting his chest all over again. He tried to will it away, but it didn’t work. It still hurt. “Like why connect with me that way if it was a distraction?”
“He said it was a distraction?” Kyle clarified, “What a fucking dick.”
“That’s the thing, it kinda has been a distraction before. It’s always been easier to just fall into bed instead of talking, but this time… I don’t know, it felt like a step back and now I don’t know what to do,” Alex sighed.
“Honestly, my advice? Focus on the mission. Once we dismantle Project Shepard and it’s little cult counterpart, then we’ll be good and you can put all your focus into that,” Cam suggested. Alex sighed and nodded.
“You’re right.”
“But don’t bury your feelings,” Kyle jumped in, “If you’re upset, you can talk to us.”
Alex looked between them and gave a little smile. He actually believed that.
“I know. Thanks.”
“Now let’s get to planning.”
-
Michael Guerin wasn’t exactly known for his fantastic ideas and today was absolutely not an exception.
After his talk with Rosa and Alex leaving his apology on read, he decided that the best way to actually move a step forward was to do something useful for once. Alex had told him about that sheet of paper that was from the original M.V.C. with ink that was specifically tailored to be useful for aliens. He felt that was pretty advanced for 1948 America. He also had it on good authority (Kyle) that Alex got a little shaken up when it came to trying to get information out of his father. So, maybe, if he got information on that, Alex would sit down with him and they could talk it out.
Alex made a mistake, Michael made a mistake, Michael got the piece, Alex got the information, fair and square, right?
It was when he drove up to the Manes residence that he considered that he might have had a lapse in judgement. Yet, he still got out of the car and let himself into the front door, so maybe he was thriving on that lack of judgment. Part of him felt a little guilty for letting himself into someone else’s house without them knowing; he was committing Alex’s biggest fear. But he was committing it against a piece of shit who hurt Alex, so that felt like enough to excuse his behavior.
He moved as silently as his body would allow, but, as a telekinetic, he’d never really had to work on bodily subtlety. Jesse Manes was already aware of his presence by the time he made himself known, standing with his back to the fireplace. Michael smiled at the man in front of him.
“Hey, Chief,” he said, “Long time, no see.”
Jesse eyed him and nodded his head. It was like he had expected Michael to show up here some day and had just been waiting. Which, honestly, was sort of impressive. Even Michael hadn’t planned this out.
“What are you doing here?” Jesse asked, his walls up high as if actually scared of what Michael could do. That was almost funny given their history. Then again, here he had no weapons immediately on hand and he was alone. The only one around was Flint and he’d left not long before Michael pulled up, he checked. Besides, if something did happen, would Flint really be mad? Unlikely.
“Thought we could talk,” Michael said, walking around to sit on the couch and finding extra confidence in the way Alex’s jeans hugged his thighs. He figured if he acted all casual, it’d be for the best. The more unhinged he was, the more Jesse had the upper hand. It was easier if he pretended he had everything under control regardless of the situation. He learned that from Alex. “Heard of a little thing called M.V.C.?”
Jesse shook his head condescendingly. 
“Clearly I can’t tell my son anything in confidence.”
“Clearly,” Michael said, smiling easily, “So why not tell me a thing or two?”
“Absolutely not.”
“Aw, come on,” he urged, “It’ll be fun.”
Things fell silent as Jesse seemed to look around and become aware of his exits. It was like getting whiplash, seeing one of Alex’s traits so obvious in his father. Was that how he was raised? To always be on edge? To always be aware of the monster under the bed, in the corner, on the couch?
“Someone directly involved in M.V.C. wrote my mother a note back in 1948,” Michael said blatantly. Jesse didn’t show his shock at that statement, but, again, he shared Alex’s tell signs. “They were warning her of the attack, but they told her it was later than it came. What do you happen to know about that?”
“What makes you think I know anything about that?”
“Because I happen to know that you’re obsessive ass probably has every single detail memorized,” Michael said simply, “So tell me.”
He said nothing.
“What, you plead the fifth?” Michael asked, “‘Cause I think you should tell me.”
“You do realize I get nothing out of it if I tell you? You seem to think I’m stupid,” Jesse said. Michael shrugged.
“Thought you might say that,” he said, digging in his pocket for that piece of paper with the writing on it, “Thought you might also want this. You tell me what you know about it and I had it over, no further questions.”
Again, silence. Michael didn’t waver as they stared at each other. He wasn’t going to back down. He wasn’t going to turn up to talk to Alex empty handed along with his apology. Classified information was so much better than flowers and chocolate.
“Listen, Alex located the C part of M.V.C. Whatever you don’t tell us, we’ll find out in a different avenue. Why don’t you play nice for a minute?”
And just like Michael had learned to read Alex, he saw the moment Jesse decided it was worth it.
“This information goes directly to my son, doesn’t it?” Jesse clarified. Michael raised an eyebrow as if to say obviously. He sighed and rolled his shoulders. “If I tell you what I tell you, you have tell him not to investigate the Camerons that are active.”
Michael couldn’t hide the confusion that overcame him.
“Why would I do that?” Michael asked. Jesse clenched his jaw and, for a moment, it almost seemed like he was worried for Alex. Or maybe that was simply wishful thinking and he was actually worried for himself. 
“They’re dangerous.”
“You’re dangerous.”
“No,” Jesse said, huffing a laugh as he shook his head, “No, I do what I do because I understand your people are volatile and manipulative and I was taught to protect my legacy. Which is why I don’t affiliate with them. The Camerons that are still active are dangerous to everyone.”
Michael eyed him, but he still nodded. Sure, he wasn’t actually going to believe that 100%, but it wouldn’t hurt to tell Alex to be a little extra cautious. Even though it was strange to hear Jesse actually sound like he gave a shit.
“Right, then,” Jesse sighed, walking over to a cabinet. Michael watched him carefully, half expecting him to pull out a gun. Instead, he pulled out a bottle of old whiskey and two glasses. Michael watched with absolute hesitation as he poured them and handed one to him.
“You expect me to believe this isn’t poison?” Michael asked. Jesse simply shrugged and sat in the large lounge chair that faced him, taking a swig. As he got more comfortable, Michael got more on edge.
“I’m extending niceties,” Jesse explained, taking another swig, “Do you want information or not?”
Michael didn’t trust him one bit, he really, really didn’t. He was horrible and abusive and murderous. But he still took a sip of that whiskey and relished in the way it burned his throat.
Then Jesse started talking.
-
Alex was exhausted as he made his way into the cabin, struggling to drag himself around to check all the locks.
He had a busy weekend ahead of him and he needed to sleep. It didn’t matter that Michael wasn’t here, he would just have to deal with it. He’d accepted (with a little push from Kyle) that he would just have to take a Zoloft before bed so he could calm down enough to sleep. If he stayed up another night, everyone would be screwed.
So he looked over the locks twice for good measure and he made his way into his bedroom, noticing that Michael’s clothes and the piece were still on the bed. Had he not come at all? Was that what the point of the apology was? He just wasn’t coming back?
Alex shook his head and grabbed them, going to his closet to hide them away for the night. However, he scoffed as he realized his last pair of clean jeans were missing. What a fucking bastard.
Despite his annoyance, Alex grabbed something to sleep in and went into the bathroom to get ready for bed. He brushed his teeth, changed his clothes, washed his face, and even took his meds. He looked at himself in the mirror and forced himself to relax. He was going to be fine. He didn’t need Michael.
Yet, as he turned to leave the bathroom, the man in question was standing right there in the doorway.
Alex’s instincts were already in action though, fist swinging in self defense. Michael, however, caught it and decided it was okay to put his arm around Alex’s waist to steady him, looking him in the eye as he panicked. And Alex was indeed panicking, staring in his eyes as he tried to calm his heart rate. He allowed Michael to hold him there for a few seconds before he pushed him away, taking a step back.
“What the fuck, Guerin?!” Alex snapped. Michael held up his hands in defense, only looking slightly alarmed and that seemed to stem more from Alex’s panic than the fact Alex almost fucking hit him.
“Sorry,” he said, “Sorry, I’m sorry. I-I’ve never actually snuck up on you before, didn’t think that was possible.”
Alex shook his head, a weird mix of anger and hurt and embarrassment filling him as he stared at him. He was too tired, he was off his game. That was bad. But why the fuck was he even here?
“What do you want?” Alex asked. Michael licked his lips and swallowed harshly, hands still held up beside his head.
“We need to talk.”
Alex furrowed his eyebrows, slightly confused. Now they needed to talk? But Michael looked deadly serious, eyes wide and chest heaving.
“It’s important. We need to talk. About a lot of things.”
Despite any type of judgement, Alex nodded and gestured towards the bedroom. He had no idea where this was going, but he was nothing if not a sucker for Michael Guerin. He was willing to listen to anything he had to say.
“Alright. Let’s talk.”
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etraytin · 4 years
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Quarantine, Day 186-187
September 13-14 It's been a couple of difficult days and I'm pretty tired, so who knows how long I will type tonight. It's funny, sometimes I start to journal and really get on a cathartic roll that makes me feel better, while other times I just pound out enough to let me feel I have done my job in chronicling my life for another day. And it's really hard to tell ahead of time which is going to be which.
Sunday was supposed to be the day when we finished the kiddo's room, but he got very little done even with my help. He melted down a couple of times throughout the day while I was trying to get him to do even a little work on his room, and then again at bedtime when he decided that he hated everything about the new bed and it was terrible. He wound up sleeping on the couch, which made my life more complicated because he did not want any noise or lights when he was sleeping on the couch. At least he did eventually go to sleep, I guess. I ended up snapping at him once when he didn't deserve it and had to apologize, and had to word my apology very carefully inside my head so it didn't come out sounding like "I'm sorry I'm at the end of my rope because you drove me crazy today" because that would be a pretty shitty apology. I think I said something about it being a long day and I was tired but I should not have snapped at him. We were okay then but I was frustrated at myself and the world in general. 
Husband has been having some health issues lately as well, old problems acting up in new ways, worrying both of us and making it hard for him to get peaceful rest. He's seen a couple of doctors but they haven't been particularly responsive so far. My biggest line item for tomorrow is going to be goosing the doctor's office for the referral he needs, just so he can stop worrying! We could all use a few less worries. 
Today we had the kiddo's annual checkup with the doctor, which we started prepping for on Friday. Last year's checkup was a DISASTER because I did not know there was going to be a blood test involved and the kiddo is not on board with needles any time for any reason. Today was better because he got over being upset on Friday and we spent the weekend building up the idea that it was going to be okay. Yesterday we spent some time finding funny Avatar: the Last Airbender meme compilations on YouTube so he would have something distracting to watch on my phone, and discussing how when it comes down to it, kitten claws are probably more painful than a flu shot, which he was also due for today. 
Anyway, the needles today went all right, he did a very good job considering his level of needle anxiety. Anxiety was sort of the theme of the day actually; talking with the doctor about how he's been feeling and what's been going on, and how sometimes it seems so hard just to keep the kiddo on an even keel. The doctor, who is an excellent doctor and takes a lot of time during the annual checkup especially, said that he's heard a whole lot of this going around, and the pandemic has been incredibly hard on kids this year. We talked about everything we're already doing and some new things to try, and we're going to go back in a month. The visit was exhausting, but good I think. We celebrated with a trip to McDonalds, the kiddo's favorite treat. 
Since by the time the appointment was over it was too late for class anyway, we headed straight down to the IKEA in Norfolk to do some room stuff shopping. Kiddo was in a much more rational mood about the new bed today when he wasn't so tired, and I sweetened the deal by helping him pick out some stuff for it. He got sheets for the bed, along with an incredibly fluffy faux-fur pillow that he adores and a string of little lights for the bedrail. We also talked about how we can make the ladder rungs more padded and less ouchy, as well as the possibility of doing what I always did with my loft bed and use other pieces of furniture (chair, dresser) as a step up ladder. Unfortunately, IKEA currently seems to be sold out of basically every kind of large dresser. We were hoping for a six-drawer MALM, but they were out of every color. Five drawer MALMs were gone too, as well as the similarly sized HEMES. They said they've been having a lot of problems with their supplier, and that they hoped to get some in at the end of next week. The tags we looked at on the floor said they were planning on being restocked September 13, which is yesterday, so I'm not super optimistic. Still, if we don't find something this week, I'll probably go back down there. 
Despite this frustration, we were able to successfully get the office chair we badly needed, as well as a large assortment of odds and ends including Lilleplutt III. Lilleplutt is the name of Ikea's small-medium stuffed cat, an ideal fake mama for lonely kittens. Lilleplutt I did yeoman's work with Latte, one of my singleton fosters last year, while Lilleplutt II went into service with a tiny fuzzy feral baby we picked up in the street a couple months ago. Lilleplutt III will likely end up in a similar occupation, though in the meantime she will keep the kiddo company as part of his stuffed toy coterie. The IKEA restaurant was closed, bummer, but I at least took home some lingonberry jam. 
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After IKEA we ran across town and did the mystery shop that subsidized the gas for the trip to Norfolk. The kiddo is an old pro at mystery shopping now and is a little bit hilarious when he tries extra hard to be Friendly Local Child. He ended up getting most of our shared milkshake and was happy. There was surprisingly little traffic on the trip home, but after such a long day and a bunch of driving and shopping, I was very stressed out. Especially when Husband called and I realized that 24 cups of water had not been enough for the beans I was trying to slow simmer all day and they were ruined. Ugh, very disappointing! 
But he had Taco Bell for dinner and the kiddo and I were full from shopping, so it was generally not terrible. We put the kiddo's new mattress up on the bed (it arrived in the mail yesterday but needed 24 hours to recover from its travels) and made it up with the new sheets. I put his fan on the old dresser to put it high enough to reach the bed, and we discovered that with the low-slung purpose-bought mattress, not only was there more room to move around, but he can sit on the bed with a couple inches of clearance to the ceiling and has basically no risk of rolling over the bedframe and off the bed. He actually went to sleep in his bed tonight, hurrah! 
I guess this is one of the nights where talking things through was helpful. There's a lot going on and it makes sense to be stressed out, no matter what my brain tries to tell me about being lazy and not doing enough stuff. I'm going to try and take the advice I keep giving the kiddo and get some sleep. Tomorrow is another busy day and I think we'll all need it. 
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twenty-nothing · 3 years
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OneHundredSeventyFour
Lasts
Who
Who was the last person you got into an argument with? What was it about? - I don’t even remember!
Who was the last person you spoke on the phone with? What was the call regarding? - Elaine, just telling me when we are going to leave
Who was the last person that slept in your bed? Are they a lover or a friend? - No one has actually slept in my bed besides me since I bought it 5 years ago lol
Who was the last person to give you a hug or a kiss? Did you return the sentiment?
- I think Elaine was the last to hug me, obviously I hugged back lol
Who was the last person to give you a gift? What was the gift? What holiday was it for, or was it “just because”? - Kayla gave me a galantines gift. A turtle towel, scunchies, car coasters and chocolate!
Who is the person that you last went to for advice? - My mom
Who was the last person to say “I love you” to you? What significance does this person have in your life? - My mom, she is obviously a big part of my life
Who was the last person that you spoke with, in person? - Elaine
Who was the last person to request you on a social media network - and did you accept? - Some person I don’t know from England
Who was the last person you texted or messaged, and what was it in regards to? - Texted my mom about some jobs I’m thinking of applying to
Who was the last person’s vehicle that you rode in? - Elaine
Who was the last person to make you laugh or smile, and why? - Elaine lol We just hung out so her name is all over this section. It was just a really fun day, our last laugh was about making fun of our old boss.
Who was the last person that you took a photo with? - Kayla
Who is the last person that you flirted with? Were you successful? - I don’t know, haven’t flirted in a while
Who was the last person to pay you a compliment, and what did they say? - My godmother said I’m a great person and I’ll have no problem finding a new job
Who’s the last person that you visited in the hospital? - I dont remember, it’s been a while
Who is the last person that you lent money to? - I’ve never lent anyone money
What
What was the last food that you ate? - Taco Bell chipotle melt
What was the last beverage that you drank? - Cherry Pepsi
What did the last pair of footwear that you wore look like? - Black sparkly slip on sneakers
What was the last color of pen that you used? - Black
What was your last thought before falling sleep last night? - Excited about hanging out with Elaine today
What was the last television show you watched? - Degrassi
What was the last board or card game that you played? - Phase 10
What was the last kind of bread that you ate? - Italian
What color is the last shirt you wore? - Burgundy
What was the last electronic that you plugged in to charge? - Phone
What’s is the last thing that you Googled? - Local hospital jobs
What’s the last concert you attended? - Luke Bryan
What’s the last sporting event that you attended/watched? - Local AHL hockey game
What was the last app that you downloaded to your phone? - Motivation app
What was the last video game that you played? - No idea, it’s been a while
What’s the last computer game that you played? - Sims
What’s the last injury you had? - I haven’t had a serious one in a while. My last serious injury was a hole in my lip I bit after having Novocain
What’s the last holiday or event (baby shower, graduation, etc) that just passed? - New Years
When
When was the last time that you took a painkiller, and what did you take it for?
- Extra strength Tylenol, for a serious headache
When was the last time you went to the bathroom? - A few minutes ago
When was the last time that you listened to music? Do you remember what the most recent song was? - About 15 minutes ago, W.A.P lol
When was your last work shift? - Feb 12th, I got fired lol
When is the last time that you had trouble falling asleep? - Maybe a week or so ago
When is the last time you saw your parents? - Saw my dad a few hours ago and my mom like a week ago
When was the last time you saw a significant other? - I’m single
When was your last year of schooling/education? - 2015
When was the last time you took a shower? - This morning
When was the last time you did anything sexual that went beyond kissing? - Holy fuck, it’s been a few years
When was the last time that you did your laundry? - When  I was in college, my mom still does it now lol
When was the last time you had to use public transportation, and what form was it? - I took a plane back in 2018
When’s the last time that you were sick? What was wrong? - I had a sinus infection before Christmas
When was the last time that you hung out with friends/acquaintances? - Just got done hanging out with one about half an hour ago
When was the last funeral you attended? Who passed away? - My uncle, a year or so ago
When was the last wedding that you attended? Who got married? - Oh my god its been so long I don’t even remember
When’s the last time that you took a risk? What was the risk? - I don’t know, I don’t usually take risks
When’s the last time you mailed something handwritten? - YEARS ago
When’s the last time you got a haircut? - Back when the salons were able to reopen, getting another one in a few weeks
When’s the last time that you went swimming? - Been a few years
Where
Where was the last place you drove to, and what did you do there?
- Drove to Chili’s and Target. Got dinner and Lisa had to go shopping
Where was the last place that you went on vacation to? - Niagara Falls
Where was the last restaurant you ordered food from? - Chili’s
Where was the last place that you went on a date? - Local Mexican restaurant
Where was the last place that you went shopping at? - Target
Where was the last place you got lost? - Local hiking place
Where’s the last place that you walked to? - I just take walks around the neighborhood
Where did you last have sex? - My bed
Where was the last place you left your keys? - In my key holder in the kitchen
Where’s the last place you got drunk? - My house
Where’s the last place you embarrassed yourself in public? How did you do this? - I don’t know, it has been a while
Why
Why did you last cry?
- I was sad
Why did your last relationship fail? - He cheated on me
Why did you leave your last job? - I didn’t leave, I was fired because my boss was a dick
How
How long has it been since you last visited a doctor? How about a dentist?
- Been about a year. Dentist 6 months ago, I have a dentist appt next week actually.
How long does gum usually last when you chew it? - An hour or so
How long can you last in bed? - Pretty long lol
How long did your food last get microwaved for? - Like a minute 
How many pages was the last book that you read? - About 250
How big was the last fish you caught? - It was average I’d say
How long was the last movie you watched? - An hour and a half
How long was your last relationship? - 9 months
How much did your last grocery bill come to? - $45
How difficult was your last exam? - I don’t remember. It has been years since I was in school
Randoms
Did you always get picked last in gym class?
- No
Do you believe that nice guys finish last? - No, they get to the front of the line with me
Can true love really last forever? - Yes
Give me the first initial of your last name? - S
Something you wait until the last minute to do? - Clean lol
Have you made your last will and testament? - No. I don’t own anything to have to make one
Something in your home that’s on its last leg(s)? - My laptop has been really laggy
Give us some famous last words! Yikes 
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pbandjesse · 3 years
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I cant believe today was just. One day. It was just a really full day. I am also very tired. But at least I dont feel as terrible as I did last night. That was kind of scary and upsetting honestly. Thankfully I am just my normal sore and tired. And today was a great day. 
I woke up after a really rough night. The dogs kept crying all night and it wasnt fun getting woken up over and over. But I felt okay when I got up. 
I got ready and dressed and felt alright. I went to check with mom if we had a plan. So we decided to go out around 11 and hit up some other thrift stores and get lunch. And I would go hang out with Jess in the afternoon.
And thats what we did. We went to the old Impact thrift store, that is now Liberty thrift. I was pleasantly surprised. As Impact closed it kind of became terrible, but this thrift shop was great. One, its giant. And two, it had lots of vintage stuff. And it wasnt terribly overpriced. I had a blast. 
I got a really awesome vintage cosco stool. And while its a horrible shade of yellow, I think its going to be paintable. I also got a few things for our kitchen, and a shirt for James. I also got myself a dress. And it was just a really good time. A great haul. Mom got dad some golf clubs because he's got it in his head that it would be fun to hit balls in the backyard. But he's left handed so it was a whole ordeal figuring out what ones were for that? But it was still a lot of fun looking. 
We stopped at the five below and I got candy. No squish there. I would end up going to three five belows today. And did find one squishmallow flip. But that would be later when I was with Jess. 
Me and mom had five guys for lunch. I think it was the first time she had eaten there. The food was good and I really enjoyed our conversations. It still feels very weird eating inside. But it also feels, normal. I dont know. Were vaccinated so I have hope? I dont even know if thats the right word. 
We were back on the road soon enough though. We went up to Newtown again and went to the thrift store for the blind. This was a great decision. 
I got great stuff. A new sweatshirt I can print on. A purse that has teddy bears dressed as pirates. A book just of illustrations of men? Some craft supplies. And best of all: a brand new pair of roller skates in James's size. They were $40 but they were also 50% off so were only $20. I am so excited. James is nervous but they said they would try it with me. Im pumped. 
It was getting close to the time Jess was coming to get me to hang out. So we headed home. 
There was still time though. When we got back dad was like. I want you to ride the lawnmower. And I was nervous but it ended up being really fun. I rode around the lawn and dad tried to film is and ended up falling down and so I rode circles around him while he yelled that I was going to run him over and I was just yelling and laughing saying Im doing donuts in the yard. It was very silly. 
So me and mom and dad were all laughing and having fun. And once we were done that we went and sat in the garage and talked until Jess came. 
We headed out into the world. I was mostly just running errands with her. We went to two Ultas looking for a face lotion she uses, then two five belows. The one was a bust but the other had a few squish and the light up heart mirror I was looking for. So we both got the same things in differnt colors and I was in a great mood. 
We went to the pet store next to look at fish. I am going to try to get a shrimp when I get back to baltimore because I have read they are good to keep the tanks cleaner. Jess got a tank plant and new gravel for the tank I gave her. And then we went to taco bell. 
Jess can barely eat any foods these days. She is trying to figure out what shes having reactions too. So we got very sad tacos. Well honestly they tasted great and I will get them again. But they were just the tortilla, lettuce, and cheese. She also got tomatoes and I got nacho cheese. Honestly were great, but the description sounded so sad.
We went to target next. Bought silly things. Bought things we needed. But it was just a great time and I honestly feel spoiled seeing Jess so much. 
We stopped at the grocery store so I could get milk for my mom. And then came back here. I showed her the thrift finds I got. She failed to understand how to pet the dogs. And after talking for a bit she headed home to have dinner. 
I heated up some leftovers and got to work on reorganizng the trunk I got so I can put all my new purchases in it. And then got to work on some sewing. I did three bears. And went on discord to talk to my James for a while. It was so nice to see their face. I love them so much. And being away is hard. But I will see them soon. 
Now though I am showered and feeling tired but good. And I am hoping to spend time with my dad tomorrow. And read for a while. I hope you all have a good day too. Goodnight everyone. Take care!!
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datingintampafails · 4 years
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Chapter 26: Jake* Part Four
Starting to go Sour.
He blows me off for a couple of days, he’s feeling crappy. Regardless, we are still texting each other throughout the day about this and that, and I am continuously checking on him. Trying to be upbeat or at least funny about it. He has a dark sense of humor and has joked about probably having a tumor, as he does later say he has to see a doctor at some point to make sure he isn’t having, as he said, a “brain stem problem.”
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One can assume his boos are his own dogs, but for a second I thought he was talking about me and my dog. We continue to talk, I try to figure out when I will see him again. I’m just a bit attached. 
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He gives me more details the next day about more health issues. He now has to have his wisdom teeth taken out.
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I ask him why he thinks I won’t like him anymore, asking if it’s because he will be grumpy. Seeing as the current pain medicine makes him disgruntled and non-communicative, this is why I assume that that would be his expectations. He says that is why.
Although we chat every day, it isn’t until Friday, when I finally have a day off work that he subtly asks me to come over. That is, he asks if I am working, which is an indicator that he wants to spend time together. I have a couple of errands to run, but I tell him I will come over after that. I beat him to his place and had to wait for him in the driveway. I was hanging out with a friend that night for dinner, so I was going to hang out until more or less my friend was ready to hang out. 
Jake* excuses himself to the bathroom, rather, he tells me rather explicitly he needs to go take a shit. I’m sitting on the couch waiting for him to be done, he’s taking a bit. My friend texts me and says she is ready so I need to go. I give him another minute or so and when he doesn’t emerge, I say I gotta go, but he doesn’t hear me. I text him “Byeee” instead and he yells out “BYE!”  from the bathroom. As I leave, I send him a kiss emoji and say that I wouldn't kiss him goodbye on the toilet, to which he responds “smart.” We talk just a little the rest of the night, as he too is over at a friend’s house.
The next day, I am going to the beach with Ethan*, as I still owe him taking photos for his dating profile(s). Jake* more or less wants me to bail, not because of the history with Ethan*, but he wants to spend time with me instead. He has a couple of friends sleeping on his couch, so despite me saying I could come to see him before and after the beach, he says no since they’re still sleeping. While I’m on the way to his from dropping Ethan* back home, Jake* tells me that he wouldn’t be available now until 5 pm. This is a little irritating given I bumped up my beach trip so I could spend more time with Jake*, but I am understanding.
While I am driving, I have Apple Carplay, so Siri is reading me the texts. He does some dirty talk, and I ask him if he’s doing it on purpose because he knows I’m using Siri to text. He then just gets silly.
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Honestly, though, this is the kind of energy I’m looking for in relationships. Just good fun. I get home and take a shower, he arrives maybe half an hour before 5. I don’t remember what happened that night.
In the early morning, this is Sunday now, we have a direct conversation. 
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He must have been over very briefly because I sent him a text a couple of hours later, but only said two things, got a short answer back, and I gave a one-word text back to that one-word text. Four hours after that, I let him know I was playing Among Us. He is much more involved in this conversation and asks a lot of questions and asks for me to show him how to play. I say I will show him, but I never get a chance to. We then get into a conversation about Nintendo Switch. He says he wants to get one. I let him know I just bought one.
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The prime word here, I think, is “we.” This for whatever reason is a woah moment for me. He is talking about a “we.” This moment, mixed with how things start to go in the not too distant future from here, utterly confuses me, as, at this time, he is using specific language indicating he sees a future. A “we should” do this or that, indicates it is for us both. A lot of planning goes into the games we are going to buy as well, where to look, etc. 
I’ve also mentioned a few times with him that I would like our dogs all to meet, mostly so that theoretically in the future we could not leave our dogs alone and just have them together when we are staying the night, etc. I am surprised to still be getting tepid responses. 
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The next day, we are hardly talking. I am making efforts, but not getting much back. He has had more dental work and is taking a lot of naps. I am starting to go back to trivia nights with friends, and I invite him to join us. 
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He responds “yeah true.” The trivia ends up being canceled because of the World Series while my friends and I are there but I hang out anyway. I mention Jake* to this group of friends for the first time, as I haven’t seen them since he and I started talking. My friend says him not wanting to come to trivia is a red flag, I become a little defensive at the moment, though in the end, I tell her she was right after things ended. 
Since there is a stolen base at the world series that night, Jake* tells me that Taco Bell is gonna have free Doritos Locos Taco. This turns into him saying he will bring me lunch the next day at work. He follows through, I give him my order, then I step away from work to be with him. He ordered a crunch wrap supreme, which they had sour cream on, even though he asked without due to his dairy allergy. He is a little bummed but eats his other taco without issue. Lunch starts nice, I’m happy to see him and cozy up to him when I’m done eating. We watch an episode of Legend of Korra on his phone. 
I am touching him and laying my head on his shoulder. Suddenly he blurts out, “why do you do that,” in a rather abrasive tone. I ask him what he’s talking about. He is saying that I am fidgety, anxious, all the time. “I don’t even know I’m doing it,” I responded. We had this conversation once before, but this time he seems more irritable about it. All I am doing is stroking his arms with my finger, something I have done with other men in my past, where it has never been a problem if anything something they liked. 
“So like I’m like this,” he demonstrates, leaning over staring forward, completely still, for a few moments. “And you are like,” he demonstrates shifting a few times, jittering. I am starting to tear up a little bit. I only have a few more minutes left on my break, and I hate to leave back to work in this state. I am no longer touching him and crossing my arms in the passenger seat, watching his phone, and more or less waiting for the episode to end so I can leave. As it is time to go and I’m leaving the car, he is upbeat as if he didn’t just yell at me. He says “see you later?” and I’m caught off guard, “are we going to see each other later?” I asked. “Yeah depending on work,” he replies. “Uh okay. Talk to you later.” I return to work, still misty-eyed, still hurt by him talking to me the way he did. 
He is acting as nothing happened and is debating eating his crunch wrap, I tell him not to. He says he is wanting dinner with me and wants to take me to one of his favorites around town. One which he had sent a menu of me to before. I pick him up on the way to my house and we go get ramen. It’s delicious. He has a few drinks since I am driving. We shared some sake, it was also delicious, and I have a jello shot drink. 10/10 would go again. Afterward we go to my place. I know I am going to need to get it off my chest how I feel about earlier today, and that it hurt me. 
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