#but that's an essay for another day

[lizzydizzyyo]

I think what's really compelling about House's absolute unwillingness to bow down to anything or anyone (the ethical board, the law, extra rich CEO, vindictive police officer, and even the patients themselves) regardless of how absolutely batshit and downright illegal his actions are, is because it's coming from a chronically disabled person, in more ways than one.

He cannot walk without agony or his cane. His chronic and severe pain led him down the path of deep Vicodin addiction until he also becomes psychologically dependent on it too (once, Dr Cuddy gives him saline placebo and it "works", in that he is not feeling his leg pain anymore for a few hours).

He understands it deeply just how desperate people can be when they're in pain and nobody can (or are willing to) help them—at least, so far, until they land on his doorstep. Which is canonically the most extreme step patients take when everything else fails—you don't just go straight to Plainsborough Teaching Hospital and to Dr Gregory House MD's office; you have to go through dozens of other doctors in various specialties and failed treatments too.

(Although that's a separate discussion about how doctors, particularly resident ones, are overworked and underpaid and redtaped by shithead insurance companies even if they do know how to treat a patient and want to).

He knows, from the bottom of his heart, that having such a painful and life-limitting debilitating condition is comparable to hell on earth, because he has one. He knows, that despite his disability being visible to everyone, yet no one wants to put an effort to help him deal with it—is also hell on earth.

Cuddy simply throws money at him and turns the other way to his Vicodin abuse, like she is saying, "I don't care if he takes 10 Vicodin pills a day or more, and I have to pay at least $1M every year for lawsuits, as long as he gets the job done," (and when they decide to go into relationship, she immediately drops him when he relapses, even if the reason for his relapse is her—although, yes, there is another discussion to be had about keeping yourself and your child(ren) safe being a priority compared to helping an addict, recovering or not). Wilson, as loyal as he is to House, simply either enables him or lectures him without going into the root of the issue and thoroughly help House that way. His subordinates, especially after the original trio, are simply too scared, too ignorant, or too ambitious to even approach the issue and choose to keep their job than help House (also another discussion to be had about how you can't help people who don't want to help themselves and so on).

So when he sees a patient who has gone through hell trying to get a correct diagnosis and treatment, he becomes laser-focused on doing everything under the sun to get to the bottom of it and cure the patient. He doesn't care if he has to break into countless of houses (haha pun) and collect insane and probably biohazard samples to do it—he absolutely will, no question.

Yes, hate-criming and being a bigot is his favorite hobby (still livid at the asexual ep and the production's choice for the resolution, let's just say I still have beef with Hugh Laurie and the entire production team for it), and so is insulting patients in so many ways that Shakespeare would personally fly to New Jersey and shake his hands if someone manage to successfully perform necromancy on ol' Billy boy. But House is no one if not dedicated. "Yes, my patient is an idiot, everyone is an idiot too, but I WILL cure their condition like my life depends on it," is basically his middle name.

Besides, you can make the argument that he is more compassionate than all the other doctors around him, because despite his absolute disdain towards some of his patients' beliefs and stupidity, he still works his ass off to treat them. He will call your god an idiot in 7 different languages while putting you in a diagnostic machine he manipulated the whole hospital into letting him use so that you could get a test which weren't available to you before. He will tell you that your currently-happy marriage will end in a bloody divorce and your ex will leave you penniless so love is not real while injecting you with a medication he had to hack the CDC's database for.

There are even episodes that show him being truly earnest, like the clinic duty scene where he is snarky as usual to a girl who seemingly stupidly had unprotected sex until she lashes out, and House is like, "Oh shit, this is above my paygrade", and immediately goes to Cuddy with a very serious expression and no sarcastic dilly-daliying, demanding her to transfer the patient to someone else because he is not good with "curing" rape case (interesting choice on the writers' part to make the patient insist to have therapy with House, though).

There is an episode about a very workaholic woman executive in a fashion company who has tremor and partial paralysis, and later on it's shown that she seems to tie her worth as a person to her corporate success while band-aiding her deep psychological issue like her suicidal ideation, and House genuinely asks her, "Do you want to live? I cannot help you unless you want me to," or something along the line.

There is also the cursed 9-year-old terminal brain cancer episode where Chase kissed the patient (ew), where at first it shows House being a usual misanthophe to Wilson and saying, "She is not brave, it's the brain tumor clot talking because it must be near the amygdala." Later in the episode, House sits near the patient alone, and compassionately asks her if she even wants to live, going through the rest of her short-lived but horrible agony, even if they catch the clot. The surgery to find and get rid of the clot is risky and can debilitate her even more, and this is why House is laying the decision to her hands. That she gets to choose. This is what truly reveals to him that she is genuinely brave (aside from the scan showing the clot to be so far away from her amygdala), but for the wrong reason. She is brave for her mom, willing to go through horrible surgery and drag out her already painful cancer-ridden life because, "My mom needs me". When everyone is congratulating her in the end, you can tell House has a bittersweet expression of both awe towards her bravery, and sadness that this 9-year-old sick girl has to bear the brunt of her horrible pain just so that her mother is not sad. That he couldn't convince her to be a child until the nearing end of her life.

The most interesting evidence of his compassion to me is the gunman hostage episode. It might sound weird because in the whole episode, he is depicted to first want to outsmart the gunman patient, then becomes laser-focused but only because he sees it as a puzzle, then absolutely selfish and dangerous because he volunteers himself as the last hostage and gives the gun back to the guy after the MRI. I do think it's true that his dedication to solving patients-are-just-puzzle-to-me conditions shines through in the episode, especially the scene of him returning his gun, but there is something else I catch when I rewatched it before.

When the gunman patient is put in the MRI because Cameron tells him a theory through the hostage call, the remaining doctors in the room including House are wary at the gunman but also hopeful. Yet, when the result shows up on the screen, he realizes that the theory is wrong and the guy let go his only bargaining chip for nothing. If you watch this part carefully, you'll notice that House actually looks pitying and sad at the gunman's disappointed demeanor and expression. He realizes he is going to be another notch in the guy's failed doctors list, and at this point (with the gun given away and even the best, most talented doctor also not finding out what's wrong with him), the guy has given up hope that he will ever see the day he will be cured, certainly not behind the bars.

Yes, his thirst for puzzle is House's big driving force in giving back the gun, but you'll be lying to yourself if you don't notice House's compassion for the guy because he doesn't want the guy to go out empty-handed, with absolutely no more hope because House knows once they step out of the door, this guy will never, ever be allowed to be in the vicinity of any hospital or doctor ever again in his life, aside from jail's bare-minimum exams and medications. House can't handle the thought of putting someone else through his own disappointment—that nothing works to help his leg pain. He especially doesn't want to be the cause for this gunman guy's case either. Even in the end when House realizes the guy is a fucking moron because he doesn't know that Florida is, in fact, in earthwide-horizontal tropical zone and this is what stumps most of the guy's previous doctors—House still gives him a subtle salute to the guy while being handcuffed and led away, almost to say, "Enjoy your healing and the defeat of your arch nemesis The Sickness™, glad to be part of it."

Majority of his drive to stop at nothing until his patient is cured is definitely thanks to his own fucked-up leg, even if there are some dialogues with Cuddy and Stacy Warner (House's ex wife) that seem to imply he has always been a misanthrophe whose hobby is getting into malpractice (or general) lawsuits. I wholeheartedly believe that after his leg clot rendered him disabled and with chronic pain, he became much more dedicated and obsessed with getting to the bottom of a patient's medical information, even for info that seems innocuous or irrelevant that always turn out to be important (probably more like a plot armor than established characterization, to be honest), almost like this is his method of relating to the patients in his own weirdly human way, and maybe a little bit (actually, a lot) of projecting.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

#house md #rec #media analysis #writing #english #me #i hv more to say abt this show like him making the mistake of not amputating his leg bc of his bias against (particularly visible)disabilit #even tho cuddy and his other past ortho surgeons suggest against keeping the leg because the clot is really bad and unsalvagable #years later even while having his leg it's now useless because all it gives him is pain and anger issue with a dash of opioid addiction #so when he sees patient being stupid or refusing a certain test/treatment he KNOWS in the bottom of his heart to be right #he just won't take it lying down & he will drag his patients kicking & screaming bc ''trust me i was an idiot too don't repeat my mistake'' #but that's an essay for another day #whump #whump meta #disability

[tokimaeki]

I think my main issue with how Clear Card characterizes Syaoran is the fact that it seems determined to erase all of his flaws. The only 'flaw' they give him is his borderline self-sacrificing determination to protect Sakura (which, honestly, I will give the writers props for- the scene where Sakura calls him out on this is one of the very few high points in the series). But even then, this trait really isn't present in the original series. It's something that was introduced in Clear Card.

Syaoran is an extremely flawed character. He's stubborn. He's allergic to showing weakness. He's terrible at voicing his affection (or any positive emotion, really). And while he does improve during the events of the OG series, they're not entirely gone at the end. And that's fine! It's good!! They're just as important to his character as the positive traits.

Despite this, Clear Card has no issue with completely erasing all of these flaws, hand-waving them away by saying 'oh, he matured after returning to Hong Kong! Sakura's love changed him for the better! He's just repressing those parts of himself for Sakura's sake!!' (personally I think the scene where Kero and Spinel call him out on that last point is a lazy attempt at justifying his incredible OOC writing)

It feels a lot like CLAMP tried to mold Syaoran into a 'perfect shōjo manga love interest,' and in doing so, they robbed him of all personality. And that really fucking sucks, because Syaoran's flaws are what made him such a compelling character in the original.

#i also have my theories that clamp tried to make this syaoran resemble trc syaoran instead of. you know. the syaoran he actually is #but that's an essay for another day #ccs #cardcaptor sakura #clear card #maemae talks

[vergess]

Y'all got me googling about BDSM in Victorian Britain

Babygirl you have so many issues

Something I noticed was that Mina's response to getting attacked was "I've been righteous all my life and yet this happened to me... Clearly, I've not been righteous enough and need to double down" (She similarly complained that her husband has never hurt anyone ever in his life so he doesn't deserve the white hair of suffering.)

While Jonathan's was "well clearly being a follower to social conventions did no good.

So glad to be a positive influence on your life!! If you find any especially interesting sources let me know!

But yeah, that's a good point! Mina's response to society/god punishing her in spite of her perfect obedience is to become even more perfect. Which is obviously not sustainable behaviour in the long term, but does have the handy benefit of, as the Twilight fandom phrased it back in the olden days, letting Mina be Born Old as her primary vampiric trait. What with all of her unnatural patience and self control under Dracula's... IDK hypnosis? Telepathy?

In a way, we have to be grateful for her martyr complex and pathological obsession with moral purity genuinely bordering on OCD. Without all that, she may have gone as feral and violent as poor Lucy at basically any time.

But thank god (Bram Stoker) for Jonathan Harker not having the same moral obsessions and compulsions. They (Brams both stoker and vh) were not kidding when they called him wildly psychologically resilient.

Sorry, Jack, but Jonathan is the undisputed king of scientific methodology in this story. When a thing he does not know is true (god is good) contradicts a thing he personally has experienced (Mina is good), he sides with the existing body of evidence. When faced with a question (how to kill Dracula) he looked at his preliminary body of research (the novel Dracula up to that point), searched for a coherent and testable hypothesis (if a shovel was good a murderin' knife is better), prepared the experiment (bought a murderin' knife), recorded his methodology and data for future repetition (his chapters and epilogue), executed his methodology (killed Dracula), and summarized his findings (mostly his epilogue).

Meanwhile Jack doesn't even know which dates his cylinders have on them so that's about that.

Anyway, dragging Seward aside for the moment! Jonathan and Holmes can be besties in questionable but relatively well executed science because he really looked at the facts and said 'okay well lift god in one hand and Mina in the other and only one is real; fuck the invisible divine let's apply our practical skills to Killing A Fucking Vampire.'

And he was right to do it!

I don't have any opinions on how all this relates to Quincey as Mina's sworn knight situation. Yet.

I'm sure I will have several by the morning.

#y know i feel like twilight really is the best dracula spinoff #like in terms of modernizing the source material while keeping Mina/Bella the protagonist #but that's an essay for another day

[dittomander]

Mateo is literally never more self-assured than when he's singing. his songs in order, paraphrased:

"I'm hot shit and I can teach you magic!"

"I'm gonna be the hottest shit!"

"I'm hot enough shit to take care of myself, Mom!"

"I'm hotter shit than Gabe!"

"I'm gonna be the hottest shit take 2! feat. Abuelo"

like he really listened to Elena sing "The Magic Within You" and went "I see, so confidence is stored in the musical number" and then he just rolled with that for the entire rest of the show

#elena of avalor #eoa #mateo de alva #and then he gets the rug ripped out from under him immediately after every single song #like no wonder his self-esteem is such a mess #but no seriously the contrast between regular mateo being like 'oh no i'll never be a good enough wizard' #and singing mateo being like 'i'm fucking great actually! look at all this cool stuff I can do!' #is just so funny to me #of course there's the argument that this isn't actually confidence but gross overcompensation for his insecurities #in a 'fake it til you make it' kind of way #(as I'm pretty sure is the case in at least In Charge) #(and is also suggested by the fact that he doesn't actually get any more 'I'm the greatest person alive actually' songs #*after* the end of his arc in Spirit of a Wizard) #but that's an essay for another day

[escapistfantasymanual]

okay, I'm watching the first episode of First Kill and it is cute, I will say that

I am, however, getting irritated by how many songs there are in the background, especially during scene transitions. (admittedly this may be because I use closed captioning and so it's very noticeable that a fair percentage of the text in any given scene is...background music)

also I think my irritation comes from: where are the normal background sounds??? birds chirping, lawn-mowing, school bell ringing, people chatting, or even just silence. or like, ambient music??

#the music makes it so that the jamming in the car scene #and the party scene #don't really feel any different from practically any other scene #I'm definitely not an expert on soundtracks #so this is just personal opinion on this one show: #music with lyrics should be used...not sparingly but carefully #with intent #idk I'm thinking of Breakfast Club of course #and more recently: Stranger Things #also honestly Station Eleven???? #because the bulk of the music was ambient and SO GOOD #and when songs with lyrics came into play #it was done intentionally with the knowledge that this is a post-apocalyptic world #and so those songs HIT HARD #but that's an essay for another day #anyway anyway #u thought of specific songs and scenes when I mentioned Stranger Things and Breakfast Club #and that's what I mean

[tsururoach]

you ship ryomina because ryoji is a disaster of a bisexual. I ship ryomina because of the beauty of a suicidal boy that can love life enough that death can agree.

#I didn't have the strength to properly draw this out #maybe another day #but I really wanted to post it. #Ryomina #ryoji mochizuki #minato arisato #persona 3 spoilers #persona 3 reload #I have a whole essay I've written in my head since like #high school about how much persona 3 is a game about loving life first and foremost #alas no one would listen to me if i wrote it out so here we go #oomfs who are still leeching off my reload look away

[lukecastellanshandholder]

I think that the one thing that I will always absolutely loathe the movies for (other than single handedly screwing up the whole plot of the story) is for making up that bullshit rule about Zeus declaring that no god can have any kind of contact with their children. That’s completely not true but now a huge chunk of people in the fandom believe that rule as canon( because most like to pick and chose what is canon and what is not, and sell head canons as being canon to the books ).

The only rules that are stated in the books relating to demigods and their parents is that 1). Gods cannot blatantly and outwardly help their demigod children during a basic quest (such as help them fight monsters or help them travel somewhere for the quest). 2). That as of the time right after WW2 the big 3 gods are not to sire any demigod children as part of their oath that they made on the River Styx (which Zeus and Poseidon definitely didn’t break ). Gods are still able to spend time with their demigod children and mortal lovers on times out side of quests. However, it’s seen as taboo mainly because the other gods use them having to much to do, and too many demigod children as an excuse to just not do anything for them. Not send them a birthday card, not a visit, and not even being claimed in most cases.

That’s giving the gods too much slack! People like to say "well, they’re gods. They’re trying their best." No they’re not! And this is what Luke’s character blatantly points out!

Hermes not even bothering to visit every once and a while? Hermes not trying to help in even any little way with Luke and May's situation? It’s a main reason why Luke becomes so angry at the gods and even thinks about saying yes to Kronos’ proposal.

And who is the example of what could’ve happened if Hermes would’ve done literally anything? Anything at all? Percy.

Percy didn’t like the gods and Poseidon very much in the beginning ( he doesn’t really like them much now but, you know) but Poseidon at least helps Percy in little ways that can fly under the radar of Zeus and the others. The Pearls to help Percy escape from the underworld? Tyson? Poseidon even crashes Percy’s birthday party ffs! Sure Poseidon isn’t there every time Percy scrapes his knee or fights a monster, but he still shows Percy that he somewhat cares about him.

All Hermes does is tell others how much he cares for Luke and "really truly loves him", but does nothing to prove to Luke that he truly cares. But it’s not just Hermes who does this, almost all of the gods do this! Why? Because they know that they can just say "oh, well I was busy and I tried my best" and others will just believe them and carry on. Or worse, they’ll take what the gods say to heart and demonize anyone who would try to oppose the gods so that it’s seen as a bad thing to hold the Gods accountable for the way they act.

And this is a clear example of the overarching theme that the gods are actually just an oppressive establishment that won’t ever really change unless it’s destroyed or overthrown.

In this essay I will…

#I swear that I’m actually going to write an entire essay about this series #one day #but seriously #it annoys me so much that the movies made everyone think this #and that now it’s harder for others in the fandom to see that the gods aren’t all good themselves #they’re just the lesser of 2 evils when it comes to the titans or giants #another rant about (mostly) Luke? #yeah but what’s new? #luke castellan #percy jackson #pjo #percy jackon and the olympians #pjoverse

[starrycomics]

Reading Batman #138 has just confirmed for me that one of the main themes of Zdarksy's run is the line Bruce's loved ones (particularly the Robins) walk between Family and Soldier, and his struggle to separate the two

It's shown pretty plainly from Zdarksy's first Batman comic where Tim gets shot in the throat. In the heat of the moment, Bruce cradles Tim in his arms and calls him 'son', prioritising Tim's safety over evacuating civilians

But then in the car a couple of pages later, you get these amazingly horrific panels showing Bruce de-costuming Jason and Tim's bodies, referring to them as 'soldiers’

At this point I read his soldier description as almost sarcastically bitter - he clearly hates that ‘the mission' drives him to treat his sons like impersonal soldiers, but he does it anyway

And this is something Tim completely goes along with - Bruce doesn't even visit him in hospital, but he's back out soon after with a bandage still on his neck. When he's back in the field he has an argument with Batman that with hindsight feels like an obvious set up for Gotham War

Bruce questions Tim's judgement and berates him for something he did in the field, while Tim says that Batman can't control him

Bruce is, at this point in the story, pre-Zur, and obviously doing this from a place of concern for his son rather than as something more coldly militaristic, but it's still the same type of justification Zur will later use during his fight with the rest of the Bats

Batman #138 is when this turns on his head, when he becomes more drill sergeant than concerned father, where having a son in place of a soldier is a hindrance rather than a gift

And that’s the whole point of Gotham War - a lot of people have been bogged down debating the logic of Selina’s plan, when it was really no more than a MacGuffin to put the Bats’ fault lines on show and illustrate the strain of being a father to your soldiers

And if you’re viewing this with a completely cold, mission-first mentality, then Bruce-as-Zur is kind of right - he’s allowing the rest of the Bats, his soldiers, to essentially mutiny against him because he’s tied to them by his love. Obviously that’s a good thing, he absolutely should care about his children like that, but it objectively makes him weaker

Tying back to Tim getting shot - the most fatherly thing to do in that situation would be to damn their identities, prioritise Tim’s well-being and take him straight into hospital without wasting time with his uniform. That would ruin him as Batman, but it’s still something he considers out of love for his son. Throughout his run and especially in Gotham War, Zdarsky is putting that love to the test and exploring what’s more important to Bruce, justice or family

I could say a lot more about Bruce’s role as a parent (personally, while I do think he can be fatherly, there is something inherently unethical about sending your children to war - him and Batwoman’s dad have a lot in common in that regard imo)

Mostly I just love the fact that Zdarksy’s exploring the complex dynamics between Bruce and his Robins, and I can’t wait to see where he takes it

#Batman #Gotham war #Bruce Wayne #Tim drake #Robin #red Robin #chip zdarsky #look at me writing a PEEL essay about a Batman comic #this is my at my strongest and most unhinged #already formulating my ‘Batman may be a good man but that doesn’t make him a good parent’ essay #while he is responsible for those children he is not responsible with them #but that’s a story for another day

[legendoftherisingtide]

[intro]

Bakugou is a prideful, arrogant person. He holds himself to the highest standard; he is the best and everyone else is simply below him. Everything he has ever done was in pursuit of being number one, shining above the rest. He has to have a perfect victory, he has to be a perfect student, he has to win to save.

He pushes and pushes and won’t let anyone see his weaknesses or his insecurities. He can never lose, he can never fail, he can never show that he regrets or hesitates or that he hasn’t thought everything through. He must never be vulnerable in every sense of the word.

Then why is he standing in the rain.

To apologize shouldn’t be a sacrifice, but it is for Bakugou. To pour his feelings, to admit his wrong, to let down all of the walls he has built and be vulnerable. And in front of his whole class.

He is willing to sacrifice his pride, to fully sacrifice any superiority he could have, to bare his soul and even risk rejection. Because he knows Midoriya is more important. Because he wants him to come home, he wants him to know his true feelings, because he wants things to change. 

Because Midoriya has changed him. Midoriya has opened his eyes; by showing him he’s allowed to be open, that his feelings should be expressed, that he has so much to learn, and so much of that was learned through Midoriya just existing.

He isn’t sacrificing his safety frivolously because he’s expected to as a hero; he is doing it because he has grown. He is doing it because he has finally admitted to himself that he wants Midoriya to be with him and safe.

So I will sacrifice this for you. Not because it will change anything, as much as I want that I know that I can’t just fix all the wrong with just this. And I am willing to do as much as it takes to earn your forgiveness. But I don’t need that from you, not now and not ever if you don’t want that, I just need you to rest. I did so much wrong. And I am sorry for everything. You don’t have to do this alone. Lean on us. You are so strong and being supported doesn’t discount that. You’ve taught me that. 

I hate the rain. But I will brave it for you. 

He would do everything in his power, admit so many things, just to get Midoriya to take care of himself. We see him being the most vulnerable he has ever been in front of people that aren’t Midoriya. He does so much completely out of character, all in pursuit of being there for Midoriya. 

For Izuku.

He finally gets over himself and finally tells Midoriya the feelings he has felt for so long.

He lets go of this idea he is inherently better and finally acknowledges that his hatred for Midoriya has always been about his own shortcomings and insecurities. But he still wants to be better, they are still rivals. He isn’t going to sacrifice that part of him because that is just who he is; he is still going to push to number one.

But now it’s different.

There is verbal and vocal acceptance and respect. Before it was unspoken; their relationship had changed ever since Ground Beta. They were proper rivals, with mutual respect and care, they were actively making each other better.

But Bakugo finally verbalizes it and tells Midoriya, not only is he sorry, but he wants to actually have a proper friendship; he wants to continue to become better and earn his forgiveness. He wants them to push each other to be better, he wants to continue to fight for the top spot, he still wants to be the best.

But when did it become something else? 

When was the turning point when it started to shift from wanting to surpass Midoriya and be the best, to wanting to keep up with Midoriya and stay by his side?

Bakugou has already sacrificed himself for Midoriya before. His body moved on its own; with no hesitation, he would save Midoriya. He has already risked his life for him. But there is a layer to it that I don’t think people talk about. 

He tells Midoriya he shouldn’t try to win this on his own. 

He disguises his concern with an insistence that he’s in it to fight for himself when he initially joins the battle. But it is to fight by Midoriya’s side and support him.

But taking the hit for Midoriya, jumping in the way isn’t just support. This is sacrifice. This is giving yourself to ensure the safety of someone. And it was second nature. 

There are two reasons and both are a sacrifice of something in the moment.

It is knowing someone is so valuable, so great, in all senses of the word, that they must be protected. Bakugou is sacrificing his body and admitting that Midoriya needs to stay alive, for personal reasons and/or for the world. He needs Midoriya to be okay, Midoriya can’t fight alone and Bakugou will do anything to make sure he will be okay. 

But the sacrifice of ideology. 

With every development, he has relinquished parts of himself. When he sacrifices himself he is not only sacrificing his body but is admitting that he can’t do this on his own; he needs Midoriya too. This isn’t him wanting to be better than Midoriya, it’s him wanting to do it together.

Midoriya changed him.

He doesn’t die for Midoriya. He wakes up and just as his last thought was Midoriya, so was his first as he woke up. He runs to his side. People are dragging him back, trying to have him rest, knowing before he even said anything that he would lose his mind over Midoriya’s situation. 

Everyone sees how Bakugou feels about Midoriya.

He sacrifices himself because Midoriya can not die on him. Midoriya has to stay alive. Midoriya has to keep fighting. 

There can not be a world that doesn’t have him in it.

This is the culmination of what has been developing ever since the final exam where Bakugou finally works with Midoriya; the day that win to save, save to win was noticed. Then furthered after Ground Beta where they finally talked to each other and something changed within them both.

But the final sacrifice is the culmination of Bakugou’s character.

He knows what this decision will mean. Everyone screams for him not to. He knows that he is going to die. He knows he will not win this fight.

This isn’t dying for the cause. This isn’t just a hero complex. This is because he can help Midoriya and he will. This is for Izuku.

I will sacrifice myself for you. To give you more time, to give you even the slightest chance of winning. I will sacrifice myself for you because you are who can win. I am going to die. I am going to die and in my final thoughts, I will ask if I will still be able to be by your side.

It is no longer can I beat you. It is no longer can I surpass you. It is can I still catch up to you. It is can I still even be equal to you. He has already sacrificed the idea that he could beat Midoriya, that isn’t what he wants anymore. What he wants is to stay here with him.

I will sacrifice everything I am. I have wanted to be the best. All my life I have wanted to surpass you and everyone around me. But you. I will let that go for you. I let it go in my mind for so long now and I have never wanted to admit it. Is it even possible? Is it even possible for me to catch up to you? Is it even possible for me to stay by your side. I can’t be that anymore. I am sacrificing even that now. I will never be number one now. I will never become the person I always dreamed to be. I will never surpass you. I am forever sacrificing that now. I will die here.  

But can I still be with you?

The sacrifice of his life is him fully relinquishing everything he is, admitting that he can’t keep up, losing all of the progress he has made, letting go of everything that made up his character.

And the last thing on his mind is if he can still be able to be by Midoriya’s side.

He won’t let him go again. 

#EDITED BC I REALIZED I DIDNT PUT A READ MORE SO IT MUST BE SO OBNOXIOUS #so I finally finished putting in the images and mustered up the courage to post it #I’m always so nervous about posting opinions or anything long bc I get super passionate and I’m scared it’s wrong— #i added pictures as evidence but in reality is was bc i was super insecure that no one would want to read all that-- #the intro was so long and was also made to apply to both togachako and bakudeku so i just made it a masterpost instead #this is still very long i am sorry but i have so many thoughts #but like yeah this is just my little essay about sacrifice and love and how they’re intertwined #and it goes both ways #but that’s for another day and another essay #togachako follow the sacrifice and love perfectly #so I will probably write one for them as well… maybe #bkdk #bakudeku #bnha meta #bakudeku meta #bnha analysis #mha analysis #bnha spoilers #<- for the whole manga but cmon if ur reading this you know it all #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku

[arcanegifs]

#BRUHHHHHH I NEED ANOTHER TEASER I BEG YOU RIOT #ITS BEEN THREE YEARS I CANT WAIT TO USE NEW CONTENT FOR GIFS LMAO #personal tag #dont look at me im just here to complain about content drought lmao its really not good in fostering a healthy fandom ngl #because ppl will just hyperfixate and consume media for like a month and then the fandom goes poof right after lol #i miss all the people scrutinizing media every week i miss all the essays pumping out when content arrives #these days its just.... nothing lmao i only really still have arcane in my mind because of fanfiction and a lot of fics have been inactive #ik we're getting new stuff in a few months #and ik we're not in canceled shows hell but like #i really hope that if theres season 3 we're gonna get it a bit more regularly #i really miss it when content was like weekly or every 2 weeks because ppl and the fandom are wayyyy more active during those times #binge culture and netflix sort of changed it lol #i miss it when fandoms were huge!!! i miss it when it was so CHAOTIC lmaooooooooo #I MISS WAITING FOR LONG ASS HOURS WAITING FOR CONTENT TO RELEASE EVERY WEEK!!!! I MISS IT!!!! that was like what 12 years ago LOL #I KNOW arcane is special with their 3 year drought because it takes time to make arcane #but like..... idk man i miss content lmao #iirc they took too long to make s2 bc they have no idea if s1 would be even renewed #so i hope s3 will be a bit more regular now #anyways im gonna go bye bye

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Imagine if Jin Zixuan DID yeet his brother from another mother (🥲) down the stairs.

Meng Yao: I'm your brother. Happy birthday! 🥰

Jin Zixuan: There can only be one. YEET

I am truly sad he didn't; think of the 'No Doubles' memes that we could have had...

#ask #Convoluted edit...my apologies...but do you see my vision? #Original text is: 'jesus was kin with god and was executed because the roman emperor said no doubles.' #I sort of recall CQL/The Untamed having JZX kicking Meng Yao but I could be imagining it #My memory is bad. As I keep reminding everyone. Do not ask me to recall things. I have brain damage. And an attention disorder. #I'm a big fan of the theory of Jin Zixuan and Meng Yao being born same day AND year. Adds to the drama. Tragic not-really-twins #Also sitting here right now and realizing that their arcs go in the reverse direction of each other. #Parallels in the way your mirror image is the opposite reflection of you. #Every empty space one leaves is filled by the other. Every gain one makes the other diverts in the opposite direction. #Oh no I think its time to write another essay.

[videogamelover99]

U should drop your reverse skk designs

It's funny of you guys to ask~

#reverse!skk au #skk #soukoku #bsd #bungou stray dogs #nakahara chuuya #dazai osamu #my art #fan art #vee's art #in which i drop another essay in the tags #basically this is where chuuya joins the ada while dazai stays in the pm #fun fact 1: the mimic arc does in fact happen! #but oda lives! yay!...y-yay? #dazai is not having a good time #meanwhile chuuya is living his best life bc he basically got adopted by ranpo in like. a day #man i do hope the image quality isnt fucked

[skuaclan]

#skuaclan #warrior cats ocs #clangen ocs #cinderplume #foxfern #bluefeather #ravenpaw #moonskip events #rabbitpool #doveclan #been a minute sorry! have been working retail or at my granny's house every single day since i finished my essays weeks ago #have a cold that's kicking my ass too so coming in to periodically add another line to a drawing of foxfern coughing has been funny #i have a day off in sight.......... #ravenkit #bluekit #bluepaw

[pixelated-dragon]

Diversity win! The reincarnating megalomaniac obsessed with the Main-Character™ is genderqueer!

#omniscient reader's viewpoint #yoo joonghyuk #kim dokja #orv manhwa #orv #nirvana moebius #i don't think i necessarily need to tag spoilers b/c these panels aren't like showing someone dying or getting a new power or anything? #but idk #I'm only like halfway through that arc and they seem to just be yet another monster of the week character that's more scary than the last #ao their existence and existence of characters like them aren't really like /true/ spoilers if that makes any since? #i think #they are an interesting character though just not a terribly world ending one (yet at least) #can't believe i read almost 160 manhua cahpters over the past two days instead of writing essays & studying for finals 😅😔

[sasukes-tomathoes]

just realized how much Kishimoto actually weaved the concept of Yin and Yang into the plot. so we know Sasuke is Moon/Yin and Naruto is Sun/Yang, right?

but how is Yin/Yang represented in the Narutoverse? with Yin, Hagaromo created the Tailed Beasts, and with Yang, he gave them life. in this case, Yin creates, while Yang works with what's already there. he represents the Uchiha as Yin, and the Senju as Yang--one creates illusions (Tsukuyomi, Susanoo, Amaterasu, etc), while the other uses Wood Style, working with earthly elements that are already there

so, Yin/Yang symbolizes the difference in Sasuke and Naruto's solution to the war/hate problem; Sasuke wants to destroy and rebuild things from the ground up, while Naruto wants to work with the current system, both with the goal for a better future

neither solution is fully wrong nor right, and the true answer is that they're meant to come together to form a whole. this is why having Sasuke and Naruto ultimately come to a compromise is so important

but, this is where Kishimoto fumbles his symbolism. because at the end, there is no compromise. he ends up framing Naruto's solution as the correct one, by making Sasuke "lose" (although, there does seem to be some nuance, because Kishimoto doesn't quite allow Sasuke to fully surrender, keeping him traveling and away from Konoha's bureaucracy and familial expectations)

#naruto analysis #op #thoughts #naruto #sasuke #another naruto essay woo #the nardo brainrot is real these days #enjoy my rambles #naruto essay #uchiha #senju #my essays

[hadescabin]

TW// GROOMING, MANIPULATION breaking down tigerheartstar and dovewing and why i think its awful ik I said that I dont really like warrior cats anymore but recently i've been thinking about some stuff regarding the series and its fandom and there's one thing that's been particularly bothering me. dovewing and tigerheart. it's just crazy to see the shift of support for tigerdove considering early 2010s warriors fandom seemed mixed on them. now there seems to be this equivocal support for them, probably because most of the fandom's exposure to the couple has been the recent books which frames them as man who loves his wife x burnt out prophecy kid who will do anything for her malewife. which theres nothing wrong with that dynamic, i think it's cute, but people really seem to forget about how tigerheart straight up groomed and treated dovewing awfully throughout oots and even in tigerheart's shadow. it seems to be a forgotten fact that tigerheart was a full grown warrior by the time he was pursuing dovepaw, who was a newly made apprentice. for perspective, this was a 6-7 moon teenager with someone almost the age of her mentor (a little younger). people try to use the excuse "oh but they're cats" and "the age gap isnt that bad" but even the recent books acknowledge with frostpaw and splashtail, that a warrior and apprentice dating is WEIRD. tbf oots was released in the early 2000s, but the fact that canonically speaking the age gap is seen as a teenager and adult relationship gives me the ick. it really puzzles me to see people get on ships like dustfern and bramblesquirrel (both of which i hate btw) for their age gaps but come up with every excuse in the books to defend tigerdove. its not even just the age gap too, again, their relationship has consisted of tigerheart manipulating and grooming dovepaw to do what he wants. in the first two books (esp the second book of oots) dovepaw is presented as someone who got attached to the cats from the journey and doesnt necessarily understand why they must act like they shouldnt exist anymore due to the borders. this is something that tigerheart LEARNS and actively takes advantage of when dovepaw questions why hes at their borders (tldr its dark forest stuff). he shifts the topic and then goes on about the journey and how he felt that they almost became friends, and that if they were in the same clan things would be easier. this may not seem like a big deal, but this goes on for the rest of their interactions whenever tiger needs to pressure her to do something she doesnt want (meeting up, trusting him, etc.) He realizes that the subject of different borders resonates with her and uses it to his advantage whenever he wants something out of her. This can especially be seen in the next book, “Night Whispers”, which kickstarted their relationship. Dovepaw accidentally ran into ShadowClan territory while hunting, and Tigerheart happens to find her there. Once again, he gives her a speech about borders being meaningless, before asking her to meet up with him before the ShadowClan patrol catches them. There’s also other examples in later books where he coerces her into meeting up or trusting him since “that’s what friends are for” or even later in that book, where he manipulates her into using Ivypaw as a captive for herbs. 

When you take this into account, plus him as a full grown warrior, starting a romantic relationship with a barely apprenticed Dovepaw who is shown as having a childish/ immature perception on romance/mates (such as her argument with Ivypaw and claiming that she should “find her own mate”), Tigerdove feels very much like grooming to me. According to the dictionary definition grooming is, “the action of attempting to form a relationship with a child or young person, with the intention of sexually assaulting them”. Of course, in this case, since it’s a young adult book, it’s to form a romantic relationship, which could also be another goal of grooming. Groomers tend to display manipulative behaviors towards the victims in order to coerce them into trusting them more. Whether that be through compliments, gifts, trying to resonate with them or make them feel special. They tend to try to get them to keep and “share” secrets, which is another tactic they utilize both to isolate the victim and to get them to feel more comfortable. 

A lot of behaviors that Tigerheart displays towards Dovepaw falls under this, including the examples I mentioned. There are a couple of other comments that he makes which come off as creepy such as Dovepaw “being his favorite sister”, which as I established, is something a groomer would say in order to make the victim feel as though they’re special and garner their trust. Which is especially the case when you note that he makes that comment in reference to Dovepaw asking about his ties to Ivypaw, which he actively lies about, and quickly reassures her that there’s nothing going on. 

This tactic of manipulation, where he either makes her feel special, or even love bombs and dissuade her from standing up for herself, doesn’t stop when she’s an apprentice. It continues when she’s a warrior, and is constantly used throughout OOTS and “Tigerheart’s Shadow”. At one point in the series, Dovewing and Tigerheart get into an argument about Dawnpelt wrongfully accusing Jayfeather of murder. When Tigerheart defends his sister, Dovewing stands up for Jayfeather, which prompts Tigerheart to try and manipulate her out of the conversation. He jumps straight to talking about how much he loved and missed her, and guilts her by asking why they had to argue like this, and why they couldn’t just “meet like before”. As for Tigerheart's Shadow, he actively goes against what she wants (to raise her kits outside the clan) and actively pressures and guilts her into coming back, before she finally relents. He doesn't care about what SHE wants, it's always about him. Whether it be secretly meeting up, or in The Last Hope, he tries to pressure her to date him again (which she FINALLY refuses and scolds him for thinking about his own needs when they're right before a final battle. as she should). It's especially upsetting in the newest book that tigerheart seems to be the only think at the center of her character. when she argues with ivypool, it's less about the two sister's interpersonal conflicts and more about her and tigerheart's relationship. which...feels like a lot of missed potential to me? i want them to argue, i want dovewing to stand up to herself against ivypool, but why does the entire conflict have to revolve around him? why can't dovewing have her own thoughts and feelings without it tying back to her awful husband?

#☕.txt #txt #some of these are snippets of my essay i wrote on the two in a fit of rage after seeing tigerheartstar fans attack harestar fans #i might share it with the world if i care to one day #dove revolving her character around tiger is unfortunately why i dont care for her canon character because it feels mostly shallow #however it isnt the poor girl's fault just the erins' incapability of writing women but thats a talk for another day #if i were to rewrite the books (which i have some ideas on) i would definitely get rid of this god awful relationship #warriors #warrior cats #tigerheart #dovewing #tigerheartstar #tigerstar #tigerdove #warior cats