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buzzkillchainsaw · 28 days

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If I were to write a WOF book arc - feat. Datura, Sidewinder, Pearl, Tetra & No-one (first draft)

Indulge me for a second. It's gonna be a long second (18 pages in Google docs), so please sit down comfortably and read this if you really have time to spare. Each "book" gets progressively longer. This is your last warning. Enjoy!

Book 1: Ice

Mandatory reading: X

The arc would start with Ice and her backstory, detailing how she grew up hidden away in the Icewing kingdom. How she lost her mother to a clueless Icewing guard and how she discovered and developed her animus powers with Icebreaker's, ahem, help. There would be moments shown between Ice and Icebreaker, as the Queen would sit down with the dragonet and personally train her, making her perform grueling tasks to the point of blood and tears. Afterwards, she would strangely switch up her behavior and act kind and loving so Ice would gravitate towards her again, now that Icebreaker was her only parental figure and source of comfort.

The prologue would end right at the moment where Ice’s glowing blue shackles snapped shut and sealed her magic away, only able to cast spells if the Queen allowed it. The main purpose of this part would be to establish Icebreaker's motives and present her as a threatening antagonist for the arc. It would also paint her as a horrible, irredeemable person (dragon?).

A little time jump later we see Ice still shackled, all alone in her room. Icebreaker and a few Icewings enter and Ice is ordered to give each enough magic to cast one spell. Ice complies, because she doesn’t have much of a choice anyways. The chains stop glowing as her magic is unsealed for just that specific spell. She touches each Icewing, but hesitates at the last one. He looks familiar somehow, but she can’t put her finger on it. His face doesn’t give it away either, he’s staring ahead blankly. She goes through with it and everyone leaves the room. Later, the door suddenly opens again and Ice is surprised to see someone who’s not Icebreaker - it’s the familiar Icewing from before! He introduces himself as Tern, Ice’s father. Ice doesn’t know what to feel. She doesn’t remember him at all because Icebreaker forbade him from seeing Mesa, Ice’s mother, once Ice showed signs of magic - mere weeks after hatching, Tern explains. The only reason he was even allowed to see Ice today to get magic was probably because Icebreaker was so caught up in her extraordinary war plans that she simply forgot about his involvement. He also explains how he even ended up marrying Mesa in the first place. How Icebreaker purposefully made the captive Mesa as miserable as possible and then “accidentally” introduced her to Tern (who was kind and meek and disgustingly weak by Icewing standards, which made him Icebreaker’s least liked son). Tern of course felt bad for Mesa and tried to cheer her up in any way he could - netting Icebreaker’s approval. And so, they started talking, spending time with each other and one thing led to another. Ice is taken aback and disgusted by this story. Knowing that her mere existence was just another one of Icebreaker’s manipulations horrified her, but even more horrifying was Ice’s and Tern’s involvement in her mother’s fate. If they never existed, maybe Mesa would still be alive. Tern points out that Mesa left Ice behind during her escape, but Ice doesn’t want to hear it: Mesa had every right to run from this horrible situation. Tern understands her anger and asks what he can do to redeem himself. “Helping me escape would be a start”, Ice scoffs. Tern complies and uses his ice breath on the chain keeping her tethered to the wall, freezing the chain plate to a point where the metal shatters easily after he smashes it with a rock. However, the chains are still intact, still glowing blue and the spell isn't broken.

They flee together through the halls of the castle, alarmed guards right behind them. In a crucial moment, Tern turns back to distract the guards, allowing his daughter to narrowly escape the palace. Ice runs alone through an unbearably cold storm, her half Sandwing body barely holding itself together in the extreme temperatures. She tries flying, but the winds are too strong and her muscles are too weak from all these years she was stuck in the palace. Her arms are weighed down by the glowing blue chains dragging between her legs as she walks, a constant reminder of what Icebreaker took from her. An Icewing patrol flies above to search for her, so Ice dives into soft snow and lets the storm bury her until she can no longer hear the wing flaps of the soldiers. Only a miracle (or perhaps her Icewing half) keeps her from losing limbs to frostbite. The stars shine above as she slowly reaches a warmer climate. The snow beneath her aching feet turns to rocks, then to sand. In the dead of night, Ice reaches the Sandwing kingdom. Standing on top of a dune, the silhouette of her mother.

Book 2: Datura

Mandatory reading: 1 , 2

The next book would start with Datura's backstory and showcase her relationship with her sister. After Queen Taipan's poisoning, Sidewinder would assume the role as replacement Queen until Taipan "was back to normal". Tensions arise in the Sandwing kingdom over this decision, especially with the threat of Icebreaker's seemingly unstoppable magic army looming over them. Sidewinder and Datura argue, which results in Datura being banished from the Sandwing kingdom. She is thrown out by reluctant guards with only her glasses to protect her from the sun.

She stays in the castle's shadow until the evening, enduring her sister's taunts from above. Sidewinder even throws a piece of Datura's veil from the balcony, hoping to watch her scramble to pick it up and put it on. Datura doesn't move. As the hours pass, Sidewinder begins to regret her decision. She realizes that she has no allies left, everyone in the castle doubts her and even thinks that she poisoned Taipan to get the crown. But just as she's about to look for Datura, she finds that her sister has disappeared along with the setting sun.

In the night, Datura would run into a strange Icewing with familiar black eyes and glowing shackles. After an awkward moment of being mistaken for the Icewing's mother, Datura listens to her story and finds out that Ice is trying to find a way to get rid of the shackles to stop Icebreaker, which makes the Sandwing perk up. She asks Ice to relay exactly what she said when she cast the spell.

"I enchant these unbreakable shackles to prevent any dragon wearing them from casting any spell, unless the Queen allows it."

Datura points out that Ice didn't specify Queen Icebreaker, so theoretically any Queen should be able to give permission. She then, reluctantly, tells Ice about her own situation and agrees to ask Sidewinder, the current "replacement Queen" to try and allow Ice to cast spells. In return, Ice would use her animus powers to heal Taipan. It’s a good plan. They travel to the Sandwing stronghold and Datura infiltrates it, leaving a note for Sidewinder asking her to meet up in one of their secret childhood playing spots. Sidewinder, overjoyed that her sister has returned, immediately leaves to find her. But as soon as Ice and the plan to free her is revealed, Sidewinder feels betrayed and accuses Datura of having become a spy for the Icewings. Giving Ice her magic back would only make the Icewings even stronger, after all. Datura and Ice try to clear up the misunderstanding, but Sidewinder sounds the alarm and the two of them flee.

Ice and Datura conclude that their plan needs some work, as they can't just waltz up to a random Queen and ask her to reactivate an enemy kingdom's magic soldier maker. Maybe an even stronger animus than Ice could just override her spell with their magic and free her? Datura remembers reading about powerful Seawing animus dragons and suggests asking around in the Seawing kingdom for help. Ice thinks that it wouldn't work and wants to try asking other Queens first, really fixated on Datura's interpretation of the spell. Maybe the Rainwings were more laid back and wouldn't care about the possible implications of freeing Ice (and, let's be honest, they'd be too stupid to comprehend the consequences anyway). Datura retorts that they have no idea if asking "a Queen" would even work and not be a huge waste of time again (like the fiasco with Sidewinder, which she blames herself for). And time is the last thing they can waste right now, with Icebreaker's army on the horizon. Ice is convinced, but at least wants to try the Rainwings before throwing in the towel. They begin to journey eastwards.

In a quiet moment, Datura asks Ice what magic feels like and if the rumors about losing your soul are true. Ice doesn't know, she doesn't feel that much different than before. Before Icebreaker and her experiments. Obviously she's terrified of turning into a soulless monster. But she also points out that it was Icebreaker who seemed more and more unhinged with each enchantment she forced Ice to do, as if the damage fell upon her soul, not Ice's. But who knows, really. All that matters now is that Ice gets her magic back and stops Icebreaker before it's too late. Too late for whom? She doesn't elaborate.

Book 3: Pearl

Mandatory reading: 1 , 2 , 3 , 4

The third book would start with Pearl's backstory, her meeting with Tetra and her eventual escape from Lamprey. Her and Tetra want to see the world together, but also find a way to cure Tetra's wing. They swim together until they reach a river that spills into the sea. This would be the only chance for Pearl to see the surface world while staying in the water. Tetra helps Pearl, who isn't a strong swimmer, to swim upstream until they reach a calmer part of the river. It's very difficult, but they manage to do it. Tetra remarks that she could just construct a harness out of grass and vines and fly, pulling Pearl along with her in the water. However, her wing is still badly injured. The two dragonets take a break, frustrated and tired. If only there was an easy fix to this situation ... Tetra suddenly remembers her father telling her a bedtime story about magic dragons called "animi" and suggests finding one to cure her wing. In the same breath, she excitedly says "and maybe they could cure you too, Pearl!" Pearl is taken aback by this, as she hasn't really considered herself in need of "curing". Sure, her inability to breathe air on land has made their journey difficult, but this is the way she was born. Should she really change such an integral part of herself with magic? Still, she nods in feigned excitement. She figures that she could still have time to think and maybe say no if they actually met one of those magic dragons. If.

The two kids continue making their way upstream, dealing with lots of difficulties, but always finding a way to make it work together. Suddenly, they run into two strange dragons. The dragons introduce themselves as Ice and Datura and tell the two kids that they're on the lookout for an animus and a Queen. Tetra excitedly proclaims that her and Pearl need an animus too and Ice reveals that she is one, but currently cannot cast spells until a "Queen" allows her to. Pearl, who cannot speak or understand "air-breather" language, is slightly put off by everyone talking over her and while she has no idea what's going on. Tetra tries her best to translate, but as soon as she flashes the words "They're looking for a Queen" in aquatic, Pearl feels terror and fear course through her body, visions of Lamprey and the cult swirling in her mind. The other dragons notice her trembling, and Datura tries approaching her to calm her down, but without Tetra's translation Pearl assumes that this huge terrifying dragon is trying to capture her. The misunderstanding gets resolved thanks to Tetra's quick thinking - speaking "air-breather" language to Datura and aquatic to Pearl at the same time to explain the situation.

Pearl agrees to try to free Ice, but doesn't tell Tetra about her doubts with the whole "curing Pearl" part. The group gathers and Pearl formally and regally tells Ice that she is allowed to cast spells - in aquatic. Nothing happens. Tetra translates her words into "air-breather" language, but it still doesn't work. The chains remain as they were, Ice is still sealed. Ice is distraught, because this is yet another "Queen" that "didn't work". As soon as Tetra (hesitantly) translates this, Pearl is overcome by anger. What was her stupid role as a "Queen" even for, if it couldn't even help one single dragon? She tells Tetra in aquatic to say the words again in "air-breather", and the little blue dragon complies. Pearl, with all her might, sticks her head far out of the water, breathes in the air and tries to replicate the sounds. However, all that comes out is painful gurgling and choking. Ice, realizing that this poor little dragonet was hurting herself because of Ice's outburst, leaps forward and splashes Pearl with a wave of water, knocking her over and causing her to slip back underwater. Pearl isn't too pleased, but remembers how Tetra had done the same that night on the beach and concludes that Ice just wanted to help. But Pearl also just wanted to help. She feels awful every time she sees Tetra wince and grimace after the slightest movement of her broken wing. She asks what she should do now. The other three dragons are quiet, thinking. Datura perks up and asks the two dragonets if they could look for an animus dragon in the Seawing kingdom, perhaps in the royal court, while her and Ice would look for the Rainwing Queen. Pearl is unsure about going back into the same ocean she just fled from. But she also knows that the entire continent is at stake. After all, from what she heard about Icebreaker, that Icewing was probably planning to freeze the oceans with magic in her pursuit of the “perfect ice kingdom”. And then, Pearl and Tetra would have nowhere to run anyways. Pearl agrees, and Tetra agrees too. Datura continues with her plan: No matter if successful or not, the two parties would meet up again during the upcoming full moon in a safe harbor between the Seawing and Rainwing kingdom. The group agrees and prepares to go to sleep and leave early tomorrow. Pearl finds a calm pocket of water in the river with not too much flow and falls asleep, dreaming of her mother.

Book 4: Tetra

The next book would be in Tetra's point of view as she sits around a small fire with Datura and Ice, on that very same evening. Tetra asks Ice what an animus is actually capable of and if one could even cure Pearl's condition and make her breathe air on land just like all the other Seawings. Ice shrugs and says "Couldn't see why not", but Datura questions whether Pearl actually wants to be "cured" of the way she was born. After all, Datura has a similar problem of being burnt by the sun because of her skin, but she never thought about asking an animus for different skin. Tetra retorts that she wants her own wing to be cured so she can fly again, so why shouldn't Pearl wish to be able to breathe on land? Datura is unsure of what the right answer is, but tells her to ask Pearl before doing anything. Tetra reluctantly agrees, but is still sure that her view of the problem is correct. Or is she? Datura's words had put doubt into her mind.

In the morning, Tetra goes to find Pearl, who appears to be less enthusiastic about following through with the plan than she seemed yesterday. Pearl says that she thought about it and is worried that going to the royal court might be dangerous, because her existence alone would probably be treason in the actual Seawing Queen's eyes. Tetra hurriedly looks for a reason to bring Pearl along anyway and says nobody has to know about Pearl's identity, she can just use another name while they're there. Besides, the Seawings and their Queen wouldn't listen to just one dragon's words, Pearl would be an additional witness and could confirm that Tetra was saying the truth. Even better, Tetra remarks, while they're there, they sleuth around for Pearl's mother. It will be fun! Pearl reluctantly agrees, convinced by Tetra's last argument but still worried about the potential dangers of entering Seawing territory. There is also a lingering fear of running into Lamprey again, but that would be impossible, wouldn't it?

They embark on their way to the Seawing kingdom. Pearl enjoys swimming more and more and feels herself becoming stronger. Tetra is excited for her, but feels weighed down by her doubts about the whole "curing" thing. She is about to finally break down and just ask Pearl directly, when the two kids are suddenly ambushed by a Seawing patrol who are looking for a dragonet that fits Pearl's description. When questioned why, they don't answer. The two kids try swimming away, but Tetra's hurt wing slows her down and Pearl turns around to wait for her, causing both to get captured. They try to deny that the patrol found who they were looking for, until one of the soldiers reveals that the dragonet in question cannot breathe air. One grabs a protesting Tetra while another snatches Pearl and quickly swims upward with her, leaping out of the water and letting her dangle in the air. Tetra watches helplessly while Pearl tries her best to pretend to breathe, but she starts choking quickly while calling for her mother in aquatic. Satisfied, the soldiers dump her back into the water and prepare to make their way back to the palace. Tetra tries to explain why they were here and why finding an animus was extremely important for everyone's safety, but the soldiers tell her to shut up and that a stupid kid has nothing to say worth listening to. Tetra realises that her assumption that anyone would hear them out was childish and not only put Pearl's life in danger, but the entire continent as well.

They arrive at the Seawing palace and are dragged before the Queen. The very same Queen that had sent Tetra's father to his death by drafting him into war. To both Tetra's and Pearl's surprise, a badly injured Lamprey is lounging in the throne room and the Queen asks him if "this" (pointing at Pearl), "is her". Lamprey says yes, with a proudly puffed out chest and malice radiating from his eyes. He is promptly taken away, while some other soldiers drag Pearl along with them. Tetra screams at them to not put Pearl into a cage and to not let Lamprey anywhere near her, but nobody acknowledges her. Finally, the Queen's eyes set on her. Queen Agate of the Seawings asks Tetra who she is, where she came from and what she is doing here with "that", nodding into the direction Pearl was taken away. Tetra answers truthfully, explaining every detail from the first time she met Pearl to the moment the soldiers caught them after they split up with Datura and Ice. The Queen's eyes shift, and she asks for clarification. Datura, the current Sandwing Queen's daughter? Really? Tetra realizes that she had said something of interest and elaborates, embellishing the actual deepness of her friendship with Datura a little. Yes, Datura was banished by Sidewinder, whom everyone considers to be unworthy anyway, so it doesn't really count. Besides, the goal was to get Ice to cure Taipan, and Taipan would surely take Datura's side after seeing the disaster Sidewinder's incompetence caused. And Datura would surely tell her mother about the cause and gain the entire Sandwing kingdom's support. The Queen nods and proclaims that she needs time to think and to send Tetra "somewhere safe" in the meantime. Tetra asks if she would see Pearl again, but again, no one acknowledges her.

She is locked into a barren room with not much inside, so she sits down in front of the door, peeping through the keyhole to try and catch something, anything of interest. Finally some soldiers pass by, and Tetra can briefly see one flashing "...and the traitor will be executed..." at the other in aquatic. She panics and throws herself against the door, claws at the walls and whirls around the room like a tornado – in vain. Tetra finally sits down and cries until the soldiers come back to get her.

She is taken before the Queen again, encountering a familiar sight: Pearl, on the one side of the throne, held down by guards. Lamprey, on the other side, with some guards behind him. The Queen in the middle, staring Tetra right in the eyes. She then turns to Lamprey and tells him to state his case, again.

"My name is Lamprey", he says, "and I have simply been misguided. I was told that this dragonet", he points to Pearl, "was actually the true heir to the throne, so I believed it. I am but a humble servant of the Seawing kingdom and I would hate to see it threatened by a traitor trying to get her grubby fingers all over the throne that rightfully belongs to yours truly, Queen Agate."

"He's lying!", Tetra flashes as brightly as she can, but only earns a sharp look from Queen Agate.

"And so, I watched as this false Queen accumulated a horde of poor, misguided souls and fed them lies about the kingdom. She preyed on the weak-minded, convincing them that staying in the ocean would be the best course of action, just so she could feel better about her unfortunate disability." Lamprey wipes away an invisible tear, underwater. "I only snapped out of her manipulation after she ordered her followers to attack me and I have been nothing but truthful with you ever since, your highness. I gave your soldiers the locations of each site of worship as well as the names of every dragon who participated in this farce. It is truly an unfortunate situation, my Queen, yet I will trust your judgement when it comes to that little traitor."

Silence. "I have made my decision", the Queen says. "Your are correct, Lamprey, the traitor must indeed be dealt with. " She looks at Pearl and flicks her tail, and before anyone can react, one of the Seawing guards raises a dagger and stabs Lamprey in the back. Surprised, he whips around with his mouth wide open, producing a cloud of blood. "You have mistaken my kindness for stupidity, Lamprey," the Queen continues, "You have been, for years, actively gathering an enemy faction seeking to depose me. Yet you seem to think that simply offering me the very same pawns you created would make me forgive and forget your crimes." Lamprey fights against the blade in his flesh and attempts to lunge towards the Queen, but is held back by her soldiers. The Queen comes closer and stares down at him. "I'm old, Lamprey, but not senile. And did you seriously think I wouldn't recognize Sixgill's daughter?" And with that, Lamprey is gone and his limp body is taken away. Pearl and Tetra, stricken by fear and confusion, stand there like statues.

The Queen turns to them and announces her decision: Tetra will to go to the meeting point and take Datura and Ice to Queen Agate, who would not only attempt to allow Ice to use her magic, but also gather the animus dragons in the royal court to break the spell if her word alone wouldn't suffice. Of course, Tetra's hurt wing would also be taken care of. In return, Datura must agree to take over leadership in the Sandwing kingdom, kill Sidewinder if she resists and then enter an alliance with the Seawing kingdom. With Ice freed, the two kingdoms would then lead a joint attack on Icebreaker's forces and amicably split the spoils of war between them. Ice must agree to take away the Icewings' magic and then make a magical swear to never cast magic against any Seawing. To ensure Tetra, Datura and Ice would follow this plan, Pearl would stay with the Seawing Queen until every condition of her pact was fulfilled. Besides, she wouldn't be much of use on the surface anyway. Tetra perks up, remembering her idea to cure Pearl, while Pearl seems to become smaller and smaller. The Queen gives Tetra one of her lavishly engraved and decorated armbands as proof of her goodwill, a huge thing that the small dragonet wears like a necklace. "And since you have personally witnessed what I do to those who betray me", the Queen finishes, "I trust that you will fulfill your end of the bargain swiftly and efficiently." Tetra nods, confused, excited, happy and scared at the same time. She is unsure whether she can trust Queen Agate after what she did to break apart her family, but right now, Pearl and the future of the entire continent is more important. Tetra is allowed to say goodbye to Pearl and promises her to come back soon and "fix everything". Pearl too gives her one of her armbands, this time it perfectly fits around Tetra's wrist. She is then escorted to the shore by Seawing soldiers.

Book 5: No-one

Mandatory reading: X

This book would start out with a very short flashback of No-one being tested with the candle and swapping places with the other hatchling, dooming them to death.

It would then jump forward in time to No-one, now appearing to be a Rainwing, hanging out at the edge of the Rainwing territory. He notices an Icewing wearing glowing shackles and a pale Sandwing accompanying her. Curious about the clearly animus-touched chains, he decides to follow them. He overhears them talking about needing to find the Rainwing Queen. Sensing an opportunity to grant some wishes, he decides to take off his earring to reveal himself as not only a Skywing, but also an animus. His instinct was right: Datura the Sandwing immediately asks him to try and break the spell on the chains with desperation in her voice. The Icewing on the other hand eyes him with distrust. No-one reveals the nature of his contract to grant a wish. Datura and Ice are taken aback, with Ice even saying how "evil" this was. Their loss, No-one says, he's not dependent on them. But they certainly are dependent on him. He asks why they wanted to visit the Rainwing Queen. Begrudgingly they tell him the rest of the story. He watches Datura closely whenever it's Ice's turn to explain and tries copying what she does: furrowing his brows at the bad parts, widening his eyes at the surprising parts and shaking his head whenever Datura does. As soon as they're done explaining, he offers to take them to the Queen in his Rainwing appearance and ask her to break Ice's spell. On one condition: once they realize that the whole ordeal was a waste of time because the spell simply won't be broken, they will make a wish with No-one. They agree, partly because of No-one's perceived confidence that he will be able to break the spell. In reality, he isn't sure at all how this will turn out. He just wants to hang around with Datura some more.

Appearing as a Rainwing, he guides the two dragons through the Rainwing kingdom, curiously watched by a few real Rainwings, but mostly ignored. Once they reach the Queen, Ice and Datura are shocked about the Rainwing custom of just letting anyone who wants to be Queen fulfill the role for a month. Still, they continue with No-one's plan. The current Queen, a spunky young Rainwing named Bloom, greets them (after they've waited in line long enough). No-one tells Bloom that Ice is an animus who will grant her a wish once her magic chains are gone. All Bloom needs to do is tell her that she's allowed to cast spells. Bloom is excited, but quickly finds that she can't decide on a wish: She wants a flower necklace that changes colors to match her scales, she wants an earring that will whisper to her where the best sun spots are, she also wants a magic satchel that will always contain the most delicious fruit whenever she reaches into it. One wish just wouldn't be enough! No-one, knowing Bloom's love for bets and games, tells her that Ice will grant all her wishes, but only on the condition that Bloom wins against Ice, Datura and No-one in a series of Rainwing games. If Bloom loses, she will only get one wish. In a sense, Bloom cannot lose at all, since she will get at least one wish granted in either outcome! Ice gets increasingly more agitated as No-one keeps deciding these things over her head. Bloom thinks for a moment, glances at Ice's chains and Datura's rigid looking Sandwing body and finally agrees. The games, clearly hand picked by Bloom to disadvantage Ice and Datura as much as possible, begin. They try to work together to win, but Ice's chains keep getting caught on every branch while climbing and Datura's wings are just too huge to beat Bloom in a gliding race through the dense rainforest. Only No-one, using his animus magic to cheat, narrowly secures the win. Ice and Datura notice, but decide to keep quiet. Bloom is disappointed but keeps up her end of the bargain, formally announcing that Ice is allowed to cast spells again. It doesn't work. Ice breaks down, unable to accept yet another failure. She screams that it obviously didn't work because Bloom isn't a real Queen since anyone can just become Rainwing Queen for a month. Three moons, why don't they try making a sloth Queen next? Or maybe a chewed-on mango? This angers Bloom and the other Rainwings. “And how come your system is the correct one?”, she naps back. “How is murdering your own family to become Queen any better, huh?” No-one tries to diffuse the situation but ultimately, the trio has to leave the kingdom.

On their way out, Ice tells No-one that she wants to make a wish with him to break the spell. Datura protests, pointing out that No-one will damage her already hurt soul even further, but Ice does not care and wants to go through with it again. Datura interjects again, saying that she will instead make a wish for No-one to heal her poisoned mother, Taipan. Taipan is, for all intents and purposes, a real Queen. No technicalities, no strange Rainwing customs, no nonsense. Ice objects, not wanting Datura to sell her soul for her. After all, Ice is too far gone anyways. Isn't it obvious? After her last outburst that would've gotten them killed if the Rainwings were just a little bit more like the other dragon tribes? Ice's soul is crumbling, so one more enchantment won't make much of a difference. Datura looks to No-one for support, but he has no idea what to say. But for some reason, he really wants Datura to think highly of him, so he agrees with her argument: They will first try Taipan and only then let No-one attempt to break the spell with Ice's appearance. But before any of that, Datura remarks, they need to meet with Tetra and Pearl in their agreed meeting spot. Maybe the two Seawings have found a better solution?

That night, they seek refuge in a small cave. As Datura is fast asleep, Ice approaches No-one and tells him to break the spell right now, no matter the cost. No-one thinks about it. On the one talon, he wants Datura's approval, and Datura said no. On the other talon, he's always up for more appearances. For some reason, another one of his favorites recently disappeared. Besides, Datura doesn't need to know, right? They can just pretend that the magic on the chains...wore off, right? Or maybe Icebreaker had choked to death on a seal bone, and that broke the spell overnight? No-one follows through with Ice's request, touches her with his earring and seals the deal. He then concentrates all his power on the chains, telling them to break, telling them to release the magic they contain, telling them to reverse Ice's spell. The chains continue to shine bright blue, not reacting to anything. No-one is secretly offended that Ice's magic seems to be stronger than his own. Ice then asks him if he can try giving her “new” powers by “making her an animus”, but that doesn’t work as well. Somehow, the chains seem to prevent any magic entering or leaving Ice’s body. Ice seems frustrated, but doesn't have another outburst like in the Rainwing kingdom. Instead, she just looks tired and defeated. Ice and No-one agree to not tell Datura about any of this, for their own reasons.

The next day, they travel towards the meeting spot. No-one asks Datura what it's like to live in the Sandwing kingdom, and to everyone's surprise switches his appearance to a Sandwing. Datura, instead of being impressed or maybe even slightly more interested in No-one, accusingly asks who this is. No-one, realizing he did something bad, switches back to one of his Rainwings and explains that the Sandwing was some random bandit he stumbled upon, a really bad guy who wished for a lot of treasure because he was just so greedy. Datura, more or less convinced, drops the topic. As soon as they reach the meeting spot, they bump into Tetra just as she emerges from the ocean, not with Pearl, but with a group of Seawing soldiers. Ice, Datura and No-one are wary at first, but then Tetra explains the situation. The Seawing soldiers stay back to let them speak in private and Tetra presents the Queen's armband. Datura is worried about Pearl while Ice is angry about yet another decision that was made over her head. "So the Seawing Queen offers to release my magic, just for me to seal myself away again?" Tetra points out that she just needs to promise not to hurt any Seawings, which should be reasonable, but is interrupted by Ice who tells her that she's just a kid who doesn't understand the bigger picture. As the situation tenses up, Ice apologizes and explains how they just suffered another failure with Queen Bloom (leaving out Ice's wish with No-one) and that she's terrified of not being able to stop Icebreaker in time. Tetra seems understanding and assures her that everything will be fine with Queen Agate at their side, leaving out her own reluctance about the whole situation - her father is still on her mind. Maybe she just wants to convince herself.

Datura thinks loudly about how an alliance with the Seawings could help when it comes down to numbers. Icebreaker's army may not be big, but their magic would probably make each Icewing as dangerous as ten Sandwings. Ice agrees, painfully aware of what spells are circulating in the army, having tested most of them herself. There's also the question of Pearl: What will Queen Agate do with her if they don't agree to her conditions? After some more talking, Datura calls over the Seawings and asks them to relay a message to Queen Agate: Datura agrees to join forces with the Seawings, but urgently needs to travel back home to her sick mother first and cannot wait for a meeting with Agate. Ice will accompany her for her own safety and later meet Agate and her soldiers at the same river that Pearl and Tetra used to travel into the continent. There, the Sandwings and the Seawings will form a stand against Icebreaker's army. She leaves out their plan to heal Taipan to try and break the spell without Agate's help. And the Rainwing? Oh, that's just our forest guide. We bribed him with mangoes. He has nothing to do with this. The Seawings agree and leave to pass on the message.

Datura, Ice, No-one and Tetra are left to figure out their next steps. Tetra asks No-one to heal her wing so she wouldn't be a burden to them, and he does under Datura's and Ice's watchful eyes. She then asks if he can somehow show her how Pearl is doing, and he enchants a puddle to do exactly that, still using Tetra's appearance. Pearl seems fine, but she's surrounded by unfamiliar dragons. Tetra then tells him about her plan to heal Pearl from whatever affliction is keeping her from breathing air. Datura raises her concerns again, but is ignored by the overexcited little Seawing. Tetra raises her arm, showing No-one Pearl's armband and asks him if he can enchant it to make Pearl breathe air. He obliges, still appearing as Tetra. As for her final wish, she asks him to magically transport the armband onto Pearl's arm. He does. Looking into the puddle, they see the armband appear on Pearl, and as soon as it does, Pearl's eyes widen, her gills flutter, her little hands shoot up to her throat, bubbles gushing out of her nose and mouth. "What's wrong?", Tetra screams, realizing too late that No-one's spell was literal. No-one panics, bringing back the bracelet onto Tetra's arm. Pearl calms down, seemingly breathing normally again. No-one removes the enchantment from the puddle and reaches for Tetra's armband to do the same, but she backs away from his grasp. "I want to keep it", she says. "You do? After almost killing her with it?", Ice asks. "I want her to have the choice.", Tetra retorts and ends the discussion, not acknowledging that she has already taken that choice away from Pearl.

The group then sits down to figure out a way to get into the Sandwing kingdom, get past Sidewinder and heal Taipan. Tetra, feeling that she has to prove herself after her latest screw-up, offers an idea.

Book 6: Sidewinder

The last book would be from Sidewinder's perspective. A full scale war is about to break out before her doorstep and she hasn't slept properly in weeks. She tries to avoid her fellow Sandwings, because every time one runs into her, she gets barraged with more problems. The soldiers are running out of rations. The scouts still aren't back. The weapon shipment is late. Sidewinder has no idea what to do about that. About any of this. This isn't what she imagined it would be like, to finally be in charge with Datura and her mother out of the picture. Advisors pop up here and there, but their advice boils down to "step down and let an actual adult handle this" sooner or later. Her aunt Hognose, Taipan's younger sister, even insinuates that she's about to challenge Sidewinder (and Taipan, indirectly) for the throne. Taipan would have her head for this, if she knew. But Taipan isn't here right now.

Devastating news hits: a troop of Sandwings Sidewinder sent to patrol the border to the Icewing territory had been wiped out by a mere handful of Icewings. Only one survivor managed to crawl back and relay the horrors: when the Icewings attacked, they brought storm clouds and snow with them, their spears finding their way into Sandwing hearts, their scales effortlessly deflecting poisonous tail barbs as if made of diamond. "They were showing off", the survivor coughs weakly, "They didn't even use their ice breath."

Before Sidewinder can even react, more news hits: Her sister Datura was seen entering the Sandwing territory from the other side and immediately captured. Sidewinder perks up. Datura is back! Datura was smart when it came to things like this. Datura always did her history homework and sometimes stayed up late reading battle reports in the library. Datura will know what to do. Sidewinder orders her soldiers to bring Datura to the stronghold immediately and runs outside to greet her. It's a strange sight: the soldiers are dragging her limp sister forward like she weighs nothing and she doesn't even protest. She's wearing a strange golden armband Sidewinder has never seen before and she's missing her glasses and her veil. Sidewinder almost feels sorry for her and is about to bend down for a hug, until she remembers how their last meeting ended. Betrayal. "How dare you leave me like this!", Sidewinder hisses, but Datura barely acknowledges her. "How dare you leave your kingdom! Do you know how many soldiers we already lost? Do you know how hard it was to keep everything together on my own? And you just left me here to go play with your friend- wait, where is she? Where's that creepy Icewing with the chains?" Datura still doesn't answer. "Answer me, before I drive my stinger into your skull!", Sidewinder screams. Only then does Datura look up and say, with a voice that is not her own, "Wow. You really are a terrible sister."

While Sidewinder is distracted, Ice, Datura, and No-one disguised as a Sandwing sneak into the stronghold to heal Taipan. No-one assumes Datura's form to fulfill her wish and casts a spell on her mother. It seems like it doesn't work at first, but then Taipan opens her eyes. Datura seizes the moment right before her mother freaks out and explains the situation. Taipan, too weak to be angry about any of this, agrees to try and free Ice under a similar condition as Queen Agate's: Ice must make a magic oath to never use her magic against Sandwings (or Seawings) again. Ice retorts that she will take the oath in front of Taipan and Agate once they have defeated Icebreaker, which Taipan is fine with. She royally announces to Ice that she is now free to make spells, right as Sidewinder bursts in with guards. The chains don't react though, Ice's magic is still sealed. Silence falls over the room. Sidewinder stares at the two Daturas, unsure which one to scream at. The guards move forward to arrest the strange Icewing in their Queen's quarters, but are stopped by Taipan who reaffirms her authority as the ruler of the Sandwings. Sidewinder watches as the guards are dismissed, feeling her own authority slip away all the same. This is it. She's done. She's not needed anymore.

As her mother turns towards her, she anticipates a scolding for all the things Sidewinder screwed up during her "reign", if you could even call it that. Instead, Taipan thanks her and says that Sidewinder likely did the best she could do in such a situation. Bewildered, Sidewinder stares at her mother, ultimately unable to accept her affection. "Now that your favorite daughter is back, I'm clearly not needed anymore", she scoffs, "She's probably dying to tell you in great detail what a terrible leader I was, so keep your praises." With that, she storms out of the room. As she runs through the stronghold, she sees how quickly the news of the Queen's comeback has spread. Excited whispers in every corner, heads held up higher, brows furrowed and eyes shining with newfound confidence. Sidewinder feels sick. She leaps out onto a balcony, the very same one she taunted Datura from after banishing her. Sidewinder sits down to cry, but is interrupted by her sister.

She tries to antagonize Datura, but all that anger from before is gone, only sadness and exhaustion remain. The two sisters share a hug as Datura tells her that she missed her, despite everything. Sidewinder apologizes for banishing her, which Datura accepts. She tells Datura how she always felt sidelined while Taipan fussed over Datura due to her condition, as if Sidewinder didn't matter to her at all. Datura points out that whenever Taipan wasn’t fussing over her, she spent her time with Sidewinder, doing all the fun things Datura wasn’t allowed to do due to her condition: fight training in the blazing sun, hunting for food in the desert, visiting different parts of the kingdom to check on her people, and so on. After all, Taipan loves them equally, but she had to treat the sisters differently due to their different needs. Sidewinder understands. They sit in silence for a while as Sidewinder feels all the tension, hurt, anger and sleepless nights fade away, even if just for a moment. Datura then tells Sidewinder that Taipan has summoned everyone to the war room to plan the next steps, and asks Sidewinder to come. She agrees and the two sisters enter Taipan's war room, a huge space with a giant table in the middle, covered in maps and small dragon figurines. A complimentary bowl of dried lizards sits on the table. Taipan sits at the table, along with a few important Sandwing generals. Ice and No-one are also present, the latter assuming the form of a Sandwing. Sidewinder immediately notices that something is off about him, as he doesn't carry himself like a proper Sandwing would. He doesn't even curl his tail tip properly, for three moons' sake! Tetra sits in a bucket of water in the corner, shooting a glare towards Sidewinder and shaking her head at her. Sidewinder has no idea what she did wrong.

Taipan tells Datura to tell them everything, and Datura does. She retells her adventure with Ice, their meeting with Pearl and Tetra, their discovery of No-one and Queen Agate's deal. She finishes at the point where they attempted to break Ice's spell with Taipan, and formally turns to No-one to ask him to break the spell with his magic. No-one and Ice share a look that Sidewinder knows all too well: they screwed up something. Ice then explains that they already tried when Datura was sleeping, that it didn't work and that they were so sure that Taipan could break the spell that they decided to not tell Datura because they didn’t want her to be mad at them. Datura is angry that she was lied to, but doesn't push it further.. Instead, one of the generals speaks up: If those two lied to Datura about such an important thing, who are they even loyal to? That Icewing may say she’s part Sandwing to gain our sympathy, but she might as well still be loyal to the Icewings. And nobody knows who or what No-one even is, let alone what his motives are. Datura says that she's been travelling with them for weeks, that she could rely on both in difficult situations and that she trusts them. But the generals want to hear it straight out of the horse's mouth. Ice grabs her chain and slams her shackled wrists on the table. "Everything I ever did since escaping Icebreaker was to try and free myself. I want to free myself to stop Icebreaker, because this war is entirely my fault. If I never existed, Icebreaker wouldn't have a giant magic army right now. My loyalties couldn't be further away from that wretched Icewing. Or any Icewing, for that matter." Satisfied, the generals turn to No-one, who turns to Datura. Datura combines a raised eyebrow with a claw gesture, in a "go on, say something" kind of way. No-one takes off his earring, revealing to the generals (and Sidewinder) that he's a Skywing. He says that he's been on the run from the Skywing kingdom all his life, because, as everyone knows, Skywings kill animi when they're discovered. He's been travelling all over Pyrrhia since, always hiding his true identity and never making any real connections. He also admits that he never really cared about other dragons and always acted in his own selfish interest - until he met Datura. He's been helping her and Ice, at first just to gain more appearances, but then even beyond that. He could've left after Ice made a wish with him, or after Tetra’s wish, or even Datura’s wish. But he didn’t, and he wants to understand why. Sticking around and helping the Sandwings further might help him understand someday. The generals and especially Taipan are less impressed with that answer, so Taipan asks Datura to personally vouch for No-one, trusting her daughter’s judgement. Datura does, and the discussion moves on.

Since they couldn't free Ice with Taipan or No-one, it was safe to assume that Agate and her animi would likely be a bust as well. Still, they needed the additional support from the Seawing army to have any chance of winning in a fight. There was also another advantage – well, two, actually. For one, Icebreaker has no idea that the Sandwings have Ice. She may be a cruel, cruel dragon, but Ice is still her granddaughter, if that even means anything to her. If not, it's safe to assume that she'd at least want her animus maker back, because she hopefully respects her (pure) Icewing subjects too much to give Ice's role to one of them. On the other talon, they have something that Icebreaker definitely would not expect: No-one. Now they need to combine these little advantages into something tangible that could actually stop Icebreaker's conquest. Taipan calls for a break and tells everyone to get some fresh air to stimulate their brains.

Sidewinder watches as Ice walks over to Tetra's bucket and puts her forearms into the water, clearly uncomfortable with the heat and dry air of the desert. Tetra scoops up some more water with her webbed talons and pours it over Ice's head. Meanwhile, the Sandwing army generals discuss something with Taipan, who's trying to keep up a tough appearance, but her talons shake slightly as she reaches into the lizard bowl. Datura calls over her friends (and Sidewinder) and offers to take them on a little tour of the stronghold. Sidewinder has a quiet chat with No-one, where she asks him if he really told the truth earlier. He says that he did, but he doesn’t know how else to prove it. Sidewinder tells him that whatever happens next, he should do everything in his (magic) power to protect Datura. That’s how he’ll prove it. The two then rejoin the group. Sidewinder, still thinking about how Datura wasn’t allowed to do the “fun things” as a dragonet, suggests a friendly game of “Sting-you”, a traditional Sandwing game that requires all players to cover their tail barbs with a special covering and then run around in teams to “sting” each other with their tails. Whoever is “stung” has to fall to the ground and be “dead” until a teammate arrives to help them up. Whichever team is left with the last “living” player wins. Tetra doesn’t want to play because she’d want to have Pearl on her team and would be the odd one out, so it’s between team red (Datura and No-one) and team blue (Sidewinder and Ice). Team blue narrowly wins. The group has a laugh and eventually returns to the war room, where Taipan and the generals are already studying maps on the table. Taipan greets the group and reaches into the lizard bowl.

"Icebreaker.", she says after she's done with the lizard. Even though her voice is still weak, everyone immediately turns to listen. "Based on Ice's intel and what the scouts managed to find out, she is not interested in diplomacy. She doesn't care about our territories or our resources. She just wants to unleash a second, magic-induced scorching onto Pyrrhia and rule over the ashes. Or the ice and snow, for that matter." Everyone nods in agreement.

"That's why we will kill her."

Palpable tension covers the room as soon as the word "kill" leaves her mouth. Datura, No-one, Tetra and even Sidewinder look over to Ice. "But what will happen to Ice’s shackles if Icebreaker...", Sidewinder begins, but doesn't finish the sentence when everyone turns to look at her. Ice has a strange look on her face that Sidewinder doesn't understand.

"We will have to lure her out first. I suggest we send her a message and tell her that we have Ice, and that we want to discuss a peace treaty directly with the Icewing Queen. Obviously she's not interested in peace, but she'll hopefully want to see Ice. Maybe she's already covered in all sorts of magic artifacts that protect her from harm, so she's probably feeling confident and untouchable. And this will be her mistake. You, animus." Taipan turns to No-one. "If one can give a dragon magic, one can also take it away, correct?"

"I...think?", No-one says. "I've never tried it before."

"Try it now. It is of utmost importance.", Taipan says. No-one looks around the room helplessly while every other dragon avoids his gaze like hatchlings who don't want to be called on by the teacher. Nobody wants to risk their soul for an experiment. Ice is ruled out by default, Tetra is just a kid whom nobody wants to harm, which would leave Datura and Sidewinder. Sidewinder steps up: "Make me an animus. I'll enchant something small to see if it works, then you undo everything." Datura protests, saying it's too dangerous, but Sidewinder doesn't want to hear it. "I've screwed up enough already. Just let me do one good thing here." After some discussion, No-one lays his hands on her and gives her magic. Sidewinder immediately feels a strange tingling in her claws. To see if it works, she looks around to find something small to enchant and lands on Datura's sunglasses, offering to make them unbreakable. Datura gives her the glasses and Sidewinder enchants them. She then violently throws them against the nearest wall, stomps on them and tries snapping them in half for good measure, but the glasses are unharmed. Sidewinder likes this power. But before she can do more, No-one picks up a dried lizard and enchants it to take away Sidewinder's magic if he snaps it in half. He snaps it in half (and then throws it into his mouth), and the tingling in her claws immediately stops. She feels a mix of disappointment and relief, knowing that she'd definitely be the type to quickly corrupt her soul with this kind of power. No-one suddenly makes a weird face, and his Sandwing appearance seems to phase in and out of existence, his Skywing appearance flickering underneath. He panics and reaches for his earring, shifting to one of his Rainwings instead. “What in the three moons was that?”, Taipan exclaims. No-one explains that sometimes, his appearances fade for no apparent reason. Ice asks whether it has something to do with how much he used them for enchantments or maybe how powerful the enchantments were and No-one shrugs, he’s not really keeping track of any of that. Tetra asks how many he has left and he starts cycling through 3 Rainwings, another Skywing, a Mudwing and then Ice, Tetra and Datura. “Huh”, he says, "I thought I had more left.” Tetra asks what will happen to the real versions if their appearances in his earring fade, but he doesn’t know. Taipan waves it off, they’ll deal with this later.

Now that it's proven that magic can be taken away, the planning can continue. Tetra, from her bucket, offers to meet the Seawings at the river and lead them to a spot in the Sandwing territory where they can prepare for the fight. The others agree, saying that Tetra should be kept safe and away from the Icewings (and she'd be useless in a fight anyways). Datura offers to represent the Sandwing kingdom together with Sidewinder, since Taipan is in no shape to leave the stronghold. Taipan doubts whether Icebreaker would come out of hiding if she saw that the actual Sandwing Queen isn't there to meet her, only her daughters. Maybe she'd even see it as a sign of weakness and attack immediately. Tetra holds up the armband Sidewinder saw on the "fake Datura" earlier and says that one of the sisters should use it to appear as Taipan. If it fooled Sidewinder, it would definitely fool Icebreaker. And now that No-one is on a tight budget when it comes to appearances, it would be better to work with what they already have. Datura and Sidewinder look at each other, unsure who should bear this responsibility. On the one talon, if Datura did it, she'd have to go without her veil and sunglasses, because Taipan definitely doesn't wear those and it would raise suspicion. On the other talon, Sidewinder is unsure whether she can pretend to be a convincing Queen, after her failure as "temporary Queen". Taipan flat out asks Sidewinder if she will do it, and she says yes.

The planning continues. Taipan will send a message to Icebreaker, telling her that she has Ice, who's still wearing the magic-sealing chains, and asking her to meet. Datura and Sidewinder (disguised as Taipan) will bring Ice to the meeting spot (which will be close to the river the Seawings are hiding in), accompanied by some guards. No-one will be among them, disguised as a Sandwing guard. When Icebreaker is close enough, No-one will snap two enchanted twigs in his mouth: one will stop Icebreaker's heart (a spell that they can't test beforehand, for obvious reasons), one will take away the magic from all Icewings nearby as well as their enchanted objects. Because nobody knows how far the spell will reach, it is important to get as many Icewings as possible to be near Icebreaker, which will be achieved by placing a battalion of Sandwings in visible (but not threatening) distance away from the meeting spot. If the spell to kill Icebreaker fails, at least the magic will be gone and the Sandwing guards, all highly trained, will kill Icebreaker - with No-one's magic help, if necessary. Either way, the Seawing and Sandwing army will attack the weakened Icewings at once to push them back into their frosty habitat. Ice, Sidewinder, Datura and No-one will escape back to the castle, protected by the attacking armies. Taipan and Agate will handle the rest from there.

Taipan dismisses the group for now to begin preparations. Datura offers her friends to stay over in her room, as it’s big enough for everyone. (Tetra brings her bucket.) She also invites Sidewinder to this sleepover. The latter remembers how the two of them used to do these all the time as dragonets. Datura tells everyone to get settled while she finds some comfy rugs the other dragons can sleep on. Tetra notices that Ice looks down and asks what’s wrong, but Ice says that she’s fine. Sidewinder asks whether this is about killing Icebreaker and Ice winces. She confesses that she’s terrified of being stuck in chains and sealed away forever if Icebreaker dies. No-one suggests that killing her might also break the spell. There might be at least a tiny chance. Ice laughs and says that it doesn’t matter anyways, the decision wasn’t in her hands anymore and she’s only left to hope for a minuscule chance of gaining a happy end out of this. Sidewinder loudly reflects upon her own desire to make decisions – she wanted to become a leader so badly, but once it happened, she was suddenly making decisions that would affect an entire kingdom and that terrified her. Ice listens, and something about that seems to make her think. Tetra says that there’s still the option of Agate and her animi, but Ice just shakes her head and asks to drop the topic before Datura returns. The group has a little sleepover party with snacks and Sandwing board games before it’s time to sleep. In the dead of night, Sidewinder opens one eye and sees Ice standing at the window, staring outside with a blank facial expression. Sidewinder silently watches for a bit and then begins to fall asleep again. Just before she’s gone, she hears Ice and No-one quietly whisper something to each other.

Hard cut to the next day. Sidewinder, disguised as Taipan, stands next to Datura. In front of them lies Ice, chains wrapped around her arms and a rope tied around her snout. Behind the trio, mere steps away, five Sandwing guards, two of them looking awfully similar to each other. In the distance, a small figure leaves the sea of white spikes and wings and tails. Icebreaker, accompanied by guards of her own, walks over to them, her eyes piercing, her smile anything but warm. She breathes in deeply, and then breathes out a cold sigh that chills Sidewinder to the bone.

“My oh my”, Icebreaker says. “What a predicament you’ve found yourself in.” The words are aimed at Ice, but somehow Sidewinder feels them hitting her own heart as well, making it skip a beat.

Icebreaker’s gaze rises up to meet Sidewinder’s. “It’s been a while, Taipan. I hoped we’d meet again under more savory circumstances, but alas.” Sidewinder ignores Icebreaker’s deliberate omission of any kind of formality one would expect when addressing a Queen.

“I’m here to talk about your plans.”, Sidewinder says. “You’ve been gathering an army near our border. What for?”

Icebreaker ignores the question: “Oh, but first, you gotta let me in on your secret.”

“M-my secret?”, Sidewinder asks. Icebreaker continues: “I’ve met Sandwings your age, and they all sound so dreadfully harsh and raspy. I always assumed it’s that dry desert air. How did you manage to keep such a pleasant and youthful voice?”

“Honey-glazed cobra cutlets”, Sidewinder answers while trying to hide her panic, “keeps the throat fresh. I would invite you to try some, but we have other matters to attend to.” Icebreaker closes her eyes and nods slowly and meaningfully. “Right, of course. I couldn’t help but notice that you have my granddaughter with you today. I hope she didn’t cause you too much trouble?” “Splendid. May I come closer to have a chat?” This is the moment everyone has been waiting for. Icebreaker makes a step, then hesitates. “Lemming”, she says with her head slightly turned towards the group of Icewings behind her. One of them jumps, then quickly stammers the following: “I enchant the enemy’s animus-touched objects to come to me!” Before anyone can react, Agate’s armband flies off Sidewinder’s arm, followed by Datura’s glasses and No-one’s earring. Lastly, the two sticks, still wet from his spit. Icebreaker’s eyes widen, then she composes herself. “Much better”, she says, studying the “new arrivals”, Sidewinder and No-one. “Taipan’s dead, isn’t she?”, she asks, “I did hear about the terrible poisoning. Why else would the Sandwings be led by these pathetic little children trying to play tricks on me?” Icebreaker steps closer. One step. Another step. So do the Icewing soldiers. They are surrounded. Datura looks to Sidewinder, who’s muscles seem to be frozen in place. Nobody moves, until –

Somehow, Ice had removed the rope from her snout and screams: “Icebreaker!!!” Her voice makes the Icewing Queen stop dead in her tracks. “You poor soul.”, she says coldly. “Have you had your share of fun running around with these creatures? Have you had enough?”

“I have”, Ice yells, “You were right. You were right all along. Everything beyond the Icewing kingdom is just a lawless wasteland. Seawings with multiple Queens, Rainwings who let just about anyone rule without question and tyrannical Sandwings who kept passing me around like some kind of bargaining chip!”

“Ice–” Datura says sharply, but Icebreaker interrupts her. “Oh, no, let her speak.”

“They treated me like trash”, Ice continues, wriggling towards Icebreaker as quickly as she can with her bound limbs. “They’re enemies, all of them. None deserve to stand between you and your perfect frozen continent.”

“Correct.”, Icebreaker says with a content smile.

“And those items you took from them were meant to kill you!”, Ice hisses. She’s now at Icebreaker’s feet. “All this time they were plotting to end your life. But unluckily for them, I’ve been plotting too. A spell that could end this war before it even started.” “I’m intrigued.”, Icebreaker says, unable to hide her excitement about a new spell. For some reason, her Icewing subjects weren’t big fans of experimenting with magic while Ice was gone.

“Do it. I allow it.”

Ice’s chains instantly lose their cold blue glow, appearing like regular metal chains. Ice turns towards Sidewinder, Datura and No-one. “This is for my enemy. My captor. My tormentor.

Die.”

Icebreaker’s eyes widen, her hands shoot up to her throat. She falls to the ground, convulsing. “And you.” Ice turns towards the Icewings. “None of you Icewings will ever use magic again!” Dark clouds accumulate in the sky above them all, and thunder begins to rumble. Ice looks down at her hands, her mouth moves and the chains fall off, disintegrating into dust.

“Ice!”, Datura screams and leaps forward, but Sidewinder holds her back. Ice looks back at them one last time before a flash of lightning descends from the sky, striking the earth. Ice disappears, with only smoke and a black stain on the ground where she stood just moments ago. The Icewings are shocked at first, then charge into battle to avenge their Queen who has now stopped moving. Sidewinder signals the Sandwings to attack and prepares to retreat. Datura is still standing there screaming Ice’s name, so Sidewinder drags her along. No-one enchants the magic items to come back and his earring flies into his open palm while the rest of the items get trampled by the Icewing soldiers. He puts on the earring and switches to his Sandwing appearance.

The guards do their best to shield the trio from the oncoming Icewing onslaught, but are quickly overwhelmed. An Icewing aims his ice breath at Datura, so No-one spits a mouthful of fire in his face. Another tries to stab Sidewinder with a spear, she ducks underneath and buries her stinger into his throat. A group tries to cut them off, so No-one enchants the rocks beneath them to shoot upwards and launch the soldiers into the air. Datura has a hard time seeing in the harsh light without her glasses, so both Sidewinder and No-one guide her through the battlefield. The latter turns the ground behind them into quicksand, enchants the Icewing spears to turn against them and hits them with anything else he can come up with. Suddenly, his Sandwing guard appearance flickers and disappears, right as the real guard’s throat is slashed by Icewing blades. No-one switches to one of his Rainwings and continues casting spells, but soon, this one also disappears. One by one, his appearances start to flicker and fade, and he hesitates, almost getting hit by a flash of ice breath.

“Use ours!”, Datura screams as Sidewinder whips around to sting another Icewing. He catches her tail in his hand and buries his serrated talons in it. She roars and Datura spits fire in his face until he lets go. No-one switches to Tetra and fires off another enchantment, then to Ice, another enchantment, then to Datura. A spear hits him in the shoulder and ice breath grazes the tip of his tail. He heals his injuries with magic and carries on. Suddenly, an Icewing manages to rip off the earring and crush it between his teeth, destroying the illusion and revealing No-one’s Skywing form. He tries to retaliate with fire, but another soldier hits him with his weapon, throwing off his aim. Then, out of nowhere, another spear flies through the air and hits Datura straight in the throat, piercing it entirely. She lets out a silent scream that turns into a gurgle as blood spews forth. “NO!”, Sidewinder screams and No-one dashes towards Datura, ripping out the spear with one hand and closing the wound with the other - his first enchantment he did as “himself” in years. He then hurls the spear back where it came from and it pierces something, someone, creating a blue fountain. But the Icewings just keep on coming. All hope seems to be lost, when suddenly, the Seawings arrive, attacking the surprised Icewings from the side. It’s this critical moment that allows the trio to finally escape more or less unharmed.

Epilogue

The war between the Icewings and Sandwings (now aided by the Seawings) wages on. Queen Taipan and Queen Agate need to negotiate new terms, now that Ice has disappeared without a trace and Datura didn’t assume leadership of the Sandwings. Sidewinder aids Taipan in any way she can, gaining knowledge and confidence in the process. Tetra leaves to go find Pearl again, who has been given a new identity and reunited with her parents thanks to Agate. The two kids have a lot to discuss. No-one, scared of becoming like Ice, refuses to do any more enchantments for this war and tries to leave the stronghold in the middle of the night. He casts a spell to make Datura’s glasses reappear in his hands and plans to drop them off by her door as a goodbye gift. Before he can do that, he runs into her. She was also about to leave on an entirely different journey to find Ice (fiercely believing that she’s still alive and out there somewhere). She knows that her mother would not approve of her leaving, but what else is she to do in the kingdom? Be Queen? Sidewinder’s there for that. The two agree to leave together and send Taipan and Sidewinder messages every so often.

And that’s how it ends.

Thank you so much for reading through the entire thing! As noted in the title, this is just a first draft and also the first time someone other than me reads this – so of course I expect you to find plot holes, inconsistent character moments and other stuff I could improve on. If you're nice about it, maybe I'll even listen ;) (joking) No matter what, I hope this serves as a (more or less) satisfying conclusion for all my WOF characters you know (and love?).

#wof #wings of fire #wof oc #icewing #sandwing #seawing #rainwing #skywing #dragon #dragon oc #very long post #buzzkill wof arc

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tiredwriter2003 · 10 months

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Old drafts

Ok so I was going through my google docs and found what looks to be the beginnings of a fic idea for Harry Potter, but I have no memories of writing this and no idea where I was going with it. I'm not reading HP fics right now but will probably bounce back soon enough. I thougt why not put it here and see what happens.

It is listed as Potter vs DoM

Potters know they’re Peverell, have been claiming the Lordship for centuries, have not announced it. Have also been claiming the Gryffindor and pranking the DoM

People have 3 names in magical world, magical, formal and common

How Wizengamot chamber chairs work. If the seat is present but dark it means they’re dormant, meaning the bloodline is still around but no one has claimed the lordship. If the seat is on a glowing platform then lordship has been claimed. If it is a glowing platform and the chair is glowing gold then the lord is present in the chamber. Potters have three lordships and claim them so the platform glows. They go in to vote so the seat glows. They don’t tell anyone so everyone panics and thinks the magic is broken. The Peverells were paranoid so put protections in place, no-one can link them to the chairs unless they announce it, spells don’t work. Potters know the DoM is looking into it, don’t tell them cause they think it's funny. DoM don’t know who's behind it but hate them, the grudge gets passed down.

James dies before he can claim his lordship, only claims the Potter so seats fade before the Potter one does. DoM are ecstatic because they think they finally fixed it. Then Harry shows up at the bank. He claims his lordships and finds out about the prank. Decides to roll with it and make it better, has slytherin by conquest. Claims it 3 months after the others to f with them. All start glowing. Makes sure to claim them after he claims potter, as is tradition, so no one puts it together that they belong to him. Goes to meeting, bad Dumbles. 3 months after joining claims Peverell and Gryffindor. DoM breaks down. Then, later, claims Slytherin. Another melt down. Figure out its a person or family who are doing this to them. Decide to hunt them down, not to attack but out of spite, and reveal them. Harry decides game on. All this is a subplot.

Harry finds out about his Lordship through the Library accidentally. Is studying for potions and finds out Sleakeazy hair was invented by “Lord Fleamont Potter and his brother Charlus.” Looks into it. Charlus and Dorea had kid, James, whereas Fleamont and Euphemia cursed barren. All helped raise him/adopted him so all are his parents. Harry finds out about Lordships, looks it up, tada Gringotts visit. Harry also has black lordship, doesn’t claim it but gets heir ring so Draco can’t. Don’t want the Malfoys getting his stuff.

This is what was in the document and it made me laugh at least. Anyone have any ideas?

#harry potter #Potter vs DoM #ideas #old draft #anyone want to continue it because I got nothing #Bad Dumbledore #Petty harry potter #Lord potter #Wizengamot #crack?

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fatuispolaris · 1 year

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hello all! milk here! this is an indie, private, & highly selective roleplay blog for tartaglia/childe from genshin impact. i am completely caught up with the archon quest, so this blog will not be spoiler free (i will tag if i mention leaks, though). if i'm not here, you can find me on one of my other blogs: @impishsensei @blastintriumph @muryonokansei @yuujitheevessel please be sure to read my rules before interacting/following.

GOOGLE DOC || INTEREST CHECK (wip) || PLOTTING CALL (wip) || pinned credit | fanart for icons credit (1), (2), (3)

i’ll place my rules here as well for ease of access for mobile users. they’re located under the cut!

guidelines

i will interact with mutuals only. if i follow you, i want to interact, so do not hesitate to send me asks or im me with plot ideas! i'm willing to roleplay with ocs, and characters from other series. for personal blogs: please do not follow/like/reblog my posts. doing so will result in an immediate block. i’m okay with one-liners, crack, multi-para, novella… everything! feel free to send in any ask memes if we haven’t roleplayed before. i’m duplicate friendly.

if i haven't replied in two weeks and i'm not on hiatus, that means i probably lost our thread or it’s sitting somewhere in my drafts and I haven’t noticed it, so please message me to remind me about it. i drop roleplays sometimes out of a loss of interest but please do not blame yourself. it is always a personal thing that has nothing to do with anyone else as a roleplayer. i’m always happy to start/write more regardless of dropping previous threads.

Don’t god mod. My character is mine, and yours is yours. Little things to move the thread along are fine with me, but don’t kill Childe without even checking if that’s fine with me first (ask memes that call for it are an exception though, of course).

where RP is concerned i heavily prioritize chemistry. for now, my blog is multi-ship, so any relationships my muse develops will take place in separate verses unless stated otherwise. that being said, i absolutely love shipping but i think childe (the way i portray him, at least) is kinda difficult to ship with romantically so keep that in mind.

DON'T involve me with drama OR send messages telling me to reblog callout posts or anything like that. i don't care for getting involved with petty roleplay drama. if it's something actually serious, i've already seen it on the dash and taken note. seriously, i will hardblock, anyone that pesters me with this nonsense.

There will be NSFW content on this blog so if you’re uncomfortable with that just blacklist the the following tags, as i tag all my nsfw posts with the following: “cw nsfw”, “nsfw //”, and “( nsfw. )”. Feel free to ask me to tag anything you need tagged. I am 26, so if a roleplay should ever come around to it I will only write smut with partners that are also of age & that I feel comfortable writing smut with. If you’d rather not roleplay smut publicly, I’m cool with continuing roleplays on discord. I’m also open to just private RPs (not necessarily smut) on discord too, just ask/lmk you’re interested!

Given that Childe is a morally gray character, I will not stray away from this nature of his or soften it in the slightest. Even though he is a playable character in game and a friend to the traveler, he is still unapologetically a harbinger and doesn’t show remorse for his actions. I will approach writing his character with this mentality. Additionally, I will cover dark topics. There will be mentions of murder, blood/gore, toxic/unhealthy relationships and so on featured on my blog. I will of course tag what I feel needs to be tagged.

I ask that minors DON’T follow my blog. I don’t want to be the reason anyone sees something inappropriate for their age. If you’re a minor & I accidentally followed you, let me know & I’ll unfollow you immediately.

#pinned #( ooc. )#yeah i'm too lazy to make a new pinned banner

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montrealmadison · 3 years

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drink deeply

or, as they say at samwell, “penitus potes.” shitty gives the toast at jack and bitty’s wedding. for @zimbitsweddingofficial and day two of zimbits wedding week: the wedding itself!

just for fun, a draft version of the beginning of this fic with lardo, ransom, and holster’s “helpful” edits can be found via google doc here. hope y’all enjoy! <3

Good evening, everyone! On behalf of Jack and Eric, thank you all so much for being here tonight, and welcome to what could very well be the most highly anticipated wedding reception of 2019. I mean, this party was planned by the likes of Suzanne Bittle and Alicia Zimmermann. We are in for a treat, folks.

Before we get to all that, I’d also like to extend a particular welcome to those in attendance who are part of the playing, coaching, and/or office staff of the Providence Falconers. Glad you could all make it this evening; I know this past week was a little bit busy for you guys.

[Insert appropriate pause and gesture to the punch bowl, which on closer inspection is actually—oh yeah—the Stanley Cup the Falcs won three days ago. Hold for inevitable applause, general hysteria, and/or hooting/hollering from Tater.]

For those of you who don’t know me, I’ve been trying to decide whether I should introduce myself by my first name, which will inevitably get me mocked by my friends until the end of time, or by my nickname, which will definitely scandalize anyone who has not spent a significant amount of time around twenty-year-old guys who play hockey. However, as I look around the room, I’m realizing that most of you probably either raised, spent significant time around, or were once a twenty-year-old guy who played hockey. To the rest of you, I am profoundly sorry.

So, hi! I’m Shitty, and I’m Jack’s best man.

read more below or on ao3

Being someone’s best man, as I’ve realized over the last few months, should really come with a playbook or an instruction manual or something, because it’s a task unlike any other you’ll ever take on. In addition to being a friend, you have to be a confidant, an expert at bachelor-party debauchery (I think my college resume definitely prepared me for this part) and someone who’s not afraid to step in to make last-minute decisions so the grooms don’t have to. You also have to do all of these things without getting fired from your job or stepping on anyone’s toes, up to and including: the couple getting married, the other people in the wedding party, the grooms’ parents, the wedding planner, and most importantly, Moomaw, whose word is law around here.

(Seriously. She made the pie tonight, people. Bow down to her.)

But as much as the role can feel a little bit like you’re being thrown in at the deep end, it also definitely comes with its perks. Tonight, I have both the honor and the challenge of somehow summarizing how much I love Jack and Eric in a speech that is heartfelt and witty yet also brief so that we can get to the aforementioned pie as quickly as possible. If you’re still following me here, that is a tall order—but here goes nothing!

I met Jack Zimmermann on our first day of freshman year at Samwell, during the bright, hot summer of 2011. I was participating in the time-honored tradition of moving into a dorm on the third floor of a building with no elevator and no air conditioning in the middle of August. It builds character, or so the good folks in Samwell administration probably tell themselves. Anyway, athletes got to move in early for preseason, so I was expecting to be one of the only guys on the floor for at least a couple days. I was just carrying the last box into my room when the door next to mine opened and—well, you can probably guess who walked out.

Now, I grew up in Boston, which means I also grew up around hockey culture. I’d heard the news that Jack was coming to Samwell, so I knew who he was when he stepped into the hall in that same vague way that you kind of-sort of recognize celebrities hustling down the street or through the airport with their sunglasses on. And he gave me that same vibe—“I know you know who I am, and I’d very much like not to be bothered about it.”

Here is something that will not shock you if you know us: Jack was the first friend I made in college. Here is something that might shock you if you know us: That definitely doesn’t mean we were friends at first. By his own admission, Jack wasn’t at Samwell to make friends at all. He told me, much later, that he was only planning to go to play hockey, get his life back on track, and keep his head down as much as possible.

So in retrospect, maybe it was an unlucky thing for Jack that he ran into the one person who wasn’t going to let him do that.

Because no matter who you are or where you’re from, freshman year of college breeds a unique kind of terror I’ve never felt anywhere else. There’s a lot of pressure to completely remake yourself, to become the person you maybe never could have been in your hometown. By coming to Samwell, I wanted to be a different kind of kid than the one that Andover had raised. Jack wanted to be a different kind of kid than the one he’d spent twenty years telling himself he had to be. As much as neither of us wanted to admit it, we both wanted similar things out of our college experience, and we needed a support system to do that. And so, however begrudging the two of us were about it at first, we started to bond more and more.

It wasn’t always easy. For one thing, my idea of a good time was a lot louder than Jack’s—who enjoyed such scintillating pursuits as “watching golf” and “going to bed at a reasonable hour”, neither of which were quite in my vocabulary at the ripe old age of eighteen. Also, if it’s before six in the morning, he has a hard time remembering to speak English, which used to make for a lot of stilted conversations between the two of us as we walked to early morning practice. (On a completely unrelated note, the first and probably only thing I ever learned in Québécois is how to swear.)

I don’t remember the exact tipping point at which Jack and I really became friends; I think it was more of a quiet acknowledgment that we liked having each other around, that we balanced each other out in ways that neither of us initially knew we needed. What I do know is that, slowly but surely, I started to get glimpses of the Jack that exists off the ice. And so began one of the most extraordinary journeys of my life, because the only thing crazier than knowing Jack Zimmermann is actually knowing Jack.

Here are some things that I’ve learned in the process: He’s on his third pair of neon yellow running shoes, which he buys specifically because the color makes him happy. Before either of us tried Eric’s pies, the only thing that could make him cheat on a meal plan was a sleeve of Double Stuf Oreos. (Don’t ask him how to eat them correctly unless you’re interested in a twenty-minute speech on exactly how they have to be pulled apart.) And he loves Captain America, although it is the opinion of this best man that America’s ass has nothing on his hockey butt. Have you seen that thing? It has Internet fans in at least two different countries.

But I digress.

In our sophomore year we lived next to each other again, by choice instead of by chance, in what I can only describe as the pinnacle of American college living: the Samwell Men’s Hockey Haus. We used to pull the comforter off of one of our beds and climb out onto the roof and clear off the snow so we could share the blanket, look up at the stars, and listen to the bass thumping through the wall of the house next door. On nights when other things felt confusing, this one part of my life was clear. There’s something about sitting out under the open sky that just makes it easier to talk to a guy, you know?

Some nights the conversations we had were funny. Some nights they were serious. Some nights we said nothing at all, just sat secure in the knowledge that someone cared enough to exist alongside us for a little while. There was always an unspoken agreement between us on nights like these: I got your back. For me, Jack’s friendship became a rock, a refuge. It’s something that I came to depend on that year and still do to this day.

As for the content of those late-night conversations—well, some things do have to stay between friends. I’m sure Jack will agree, especially because he has so graciously allowed me to get up here and lovingly roast him just a little bit.

So let’s skip ahead again, to yet another August, the start of our junior year, and the arrival on the scene of one Eric Bittle. This kid burst into our ranks like a ray of Southern sunshine and turned pretty much everything upside down in the process. In the first five minutes of being in the Haus, he somehow made us a pie? Folks, I'm not kidding, it was the best thing I’ve ever eaten. We were a bunch of guys who didn’t know what we were missing until we had it, and let me tell you, it was one hell of a semester after that. In pretty short order we had curtains on the windows and baked goods on the counters, and Samwell Men’s Hockey started to become not only a team but a family.

That was off the ice, at least. On it, things were a little more complicated. As our dear friend and former goalie John Johnson said to me, Jack and Eric hadn’t gone through their character development yet—whatever that means.

Take our third or fourth practice with the full team that year, for example. It had gone… uh. Poorly, would be a word. Later that night I heard some rustling on the roof outside, and God knows I was willing to do just about anything but my homework—so I stuck my head out the window and there was Jack, watching the stars. I asked him if he wanted a buddy, and he said alright, so I slid out and sat down next to him.

That was pretty usual for us at this point. What wasn’t usual was the topic of conversation. The first thing Jack said to me was, “Bittle’s gonna get eaten alive when our schedule starts.” (Remember, people, they’re married now!) The second was, “I want to help.”

Here’s another thing about Jack: Underneath the veneer is a guy who just cares so intensely it’d shock you if you knew nothing else about him. It shocked me a little that day. I think it even shocked him to admit it, to the point where I had to say, “Jack, it’s not a criminal offense to care about other people. Even if it feels like you’re doing it for yourself.”

So he helped. He offered an olive branch, and Bits took him up on it. I’d hear the two of them get up in the morning, hours before the rest of us had to be at Faber, for checking practice. None of the rest of us ever knew exactly what went down, but one thing was for sure—Eric put in a ton of work to overcome some of the fears that had followed him to college. He got better, and Jack relaxed. The two of them really started working as a team, and things started looking up from there.

The day that they told us they were dating was pretty amazing. Eric is so full of light no matter how bleak a situation may look, but that day he was literally almost glowing. And I’ve seen Jack in moments after victory and loss, at his best and at his worst. But I’ve never seen a Jack who was so happy, possessed of such confidence in a decision he’d made, as I saw him that day at brunch. And that’s when I knew this relationship was really special.

From there, many of you know the story. You watched it play out on ESPN and social media and the front pages of every single gossip magazine on the supermarket shelves. But if you’re sitting here with us tonight, you also watched it play out between Jack and Eric themselves. You’ve watched them handle expectations as a united front. You’ve watched their unfailing dedication to each other while they navigate the pressure of being some pretty big firsts. You know that, behind the scenes, these are two incredibly genuine people who bring out the best in each other and are dedicated to doing that every single day.

In the last four years, I’ve watched Eric become self-possessed and confident because he was given the space to do so. In the last six years, I’ve watched Jack grow from a kid with a chip on his shoulder and something to prove to a guy who finally believes that he deserves all the good things the world has given him and then some. If you take nothing else away from this speech, I want you to know this: I’m incredibly proud to call myself a friend to both of them.

Jack, Bits, you’re always gonna be my brothers, my best friends, and two of the finest damn men I’ve ever had the pleasure to know. I wish you both a long and happy marriage. Take care of each other, be good to each other, and never forget where you started—as a team.

So please join me in raising your glasses, everyone, and as they say at Samwell—penitus potes to Jack and Eric!

#shitty knight #jack zimmermann #eric bittle #zimbitswedding #omgcp #check please #this idea jumped into my head and refused to leave #shitty & jack & bitty friendship my beloved #my writing

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iambarelysushi · 2 years

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AEW Poster info dump

Okay, so, if you're reading this you've probably seen my AEW poster that I'm working on. This post is to sort of explain everything about who's in it and stuff like that.

The poster as of 3\10\21, roughly 45% complete

What is this?

It's a poster with 563 people (well, 560 people, 2 drones, and 1 dog) that have appeared on AEW in the first two years or so of it's existence.

Who is on here?

I have a Google doc of 563 people that can be found here: Spreadsheet

How did you get 563 people?

I took everyone that wrestled on an AEW pay-per-view, Dynamite, Dark, or Dark Elevation, as well as commentators, referees, notable guest appearances, and so on.

How long has this taken you?

I didn't write down which day I actually started (since I didn't realize how big the project was going to end up) but my best guess is that I started it in August of 2020 (at least, that's the earliest digital file I have saved. I know there were initially older files though.) Also, there have been breaks while I work on other things.

That must be a really big canvas you're working on.

It is, but since I'm working digitally, I've broken it down into multiple smaller files so my computer doesn't explode when I need to open it. I would make a new canvas, draw several wrestlers on it, then copy the finished inks to the full sized one. That way I can move people around, resize them if need be, and make changes relatively easily. The final piece will be 24 inches by 36 inches.

How do you keep track of all of this?

Well, I've got a spreadsheet that I linked to above. It tells me which wrestlers I need to draw, and breaks that down into inks, flat colors, and shading. It also tells me if I've placed them on the final canvas, which file the original lineart is in, and even when they first appeared for AEW.

Do you draw this or trace it?

Okay, this is difficult to explain: I use a ton of reference. In order to get the likeness right, I'll do a quick sketch over the reference to place where the eyes and nose go. Then I'll move the reference pic to the side and draw the rest. I'll draw guidelines to show where various parts of the body should be. If I'm done and it still looks wonky, I'll put the lineart over the reference and adjust lines where needed. Usually it's the eyes are crooked. Anyway, here's an example of my process:

Where's [wrestler] or [wrestler?]

When this is all done, I'll have a key to show who's who and where they are.

Why isn't [wrestler] in here?

When I started this project, I was going to draw the roster, plus the indie wrestlers they started bringing in for Dark when Covid hit. So every few weeks I'd add more people to the list. And more. And more. Until finally I decided that the limits of this drawing would be drawing anyone between AEW Double of Nothing 2019 (the first official AEW pay-per-view) and the episode of Dynamite on October 6, 2021 (the two year anniversary of Dynamite.) If they debuted after, they're not in there. Which sucks because that includes Danhausen, one of my absolute favorites.

Why is [wrestler] in here? Aren't they a horrible person?

So yeah, right when I was starting this, the Speaking Out stuff started coming out, and I was torn between leaving people out of a project who's entire point was to get "everyone," and adding known creeps to the piece. I tried to compromise by having them getting kicked in the face and\or making them quite small and obscured. It's why I know a bunch of people are going to ask why I drew one of the "four pillars of AEW" so small. It's 'cuz he's a creep.

Hey, some wrestlers change between process shots, what gives?

Since I've been working on this for two years, I'll look back at some of the older art and realized I could do it better. And sometimes gimmicks change. And sometimes the guy dead center of your original draft leaves the company and sometimes the guy you put off to the side because you didn't really care about him at the start goes on to become one of your favorites and AEW Champion. So in short, I'll redraw stuff if I think the original drawing doesn't work.

Anything else you want to say about this?

Uh . . . it's well over 1500 layers in Clip Studio as of this writing. The file is almost an entire gigabyte. That's insane.

Oh yeah, meant to ask . . . WHY are you doing this? It's insane.

Well, I like to draw large group shots. One of my favorite artists growing up was George Perez, and he drew every single Avenger on the cover of Avengers #1 in 1998 and it made an impact on me. As a kid, I would take large rolls of paper (my dad worked at a printer at the time, would bring home leftover paper rolls) and draw these ten foot tall super posters with all my favorite characters. Then as I got older, I started tabling at conventions. I didn't feel like my art stood out very much, so I drew a print with a dozen or so characters. Then one with twenty. Then fifty. Then the next thing you know, I'm drawing a "Where's Waldo?" picture where you have to find John Cena among 300 wrestlers. (The joke is, he's not actually there.) It sort of became my "thing." I may not be the best artist, but I'm certainly going to be the most artist.

The "Can U C Me?" Where's Waldo print, the biggest thing I had drawn until this AEW project.

Got any process pictures?

Of course. I can't go two years on a project and not periodically post something to try and get that sweet, sweet validation.

Drawing wrestlers in smaller chunks before copying them over to the main canvas.

Placing them together to figure out the best layout.

The first draft of the large canvas. The blue background is just so I can tell where I've got space.

I quickly started running out of room.

Around this point I realized I needed to move people around so I decided to scrap this layout and move people around. Also, Cody left so I decided to redraw the EVPs.

Redrew the EVPs and started the new layout.

The most up-to-date version as of 3\15\21. Started keeping track of percentages complete on the spreadsheet, started adding them to process shots.

#AEW #all elite wrestling #art wip #wrestling

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purekesseltrash · 3 years

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My Fic List

Whelp, decided I should do one of these. I have mostly written for Hockey RPF and BNHA, as you have likely already seen!

My BNHA Fics

Bury Them Deep

- “Shouji Mezou's entire life has revolved around being a goalie and playing hockey since he was five years old. After being drafted in the third round in the NHL, Shouji has two more years of college before moving on to playing professional hockey like he's always wanted. Or at least like he always thought he wanted. An injury that ends his season throws him into a tailspin, forcing him to take a look at his life and how he is going to live it, especially after meeting his fascinating new goth history tutor.”

(This bad bitch is 81k total and is chock full of my red hot hockey takes and midwestern references. I love it very much and it is a sweet baby.)

The Rooftop Necromancy series AKA my black metal band AU:

Downhill from Here

- “ Hizashi just wants to tour the country with his best friends with their metal band in their shitty van like they've been planning for years. He'd successfully hidden his crush on one of them for years, after all, he would definitely be able to make this work and keep things fun and uncomplicated. Until Aizawa decided to start acting weird. “

(In which I take you all on a nostalgic trip to 2006-2008 metal culture and you can see the black metal love song that my dumb ass wrote.)

The Perfect Mistake

- “ It wasn't as though Hizashi had planned on breaking up with his boyfriend while they were on tour in a tiny cargo van with no room and no peace. He would have much rather preferred to do it when they were home and he could easily go and crawl back into his mom's basement. But he didn't have a choice. “

(As relationships tend to do, theirs goes through problems.)

Rooftop Necromancy

-"He’d even ended up leaning into the crowd when someone’s elbow had connected solidly with his nose and thrown him back. They’d gone quiet as Hizashi got himself up to his feet, ripped off his now bloody ‘Within Temptations’ tshirt from 2004, whipped his hair back from his face and screamed, “That’s what I’m FUCKING talking about.” into the mic.

They went wild for it, cheering as blood ran down his nose, past his mouth and dripped onto the stage, leaving him feeling like an otherworldly monster performing an occult ritual. Metal, he thought dazedly to himself, why in the fuck had he ever stopped doing metal."

(I hyperfocused so hard at the idea of Mic as a metal head that I wrote this in seven straight hours and WROTE THROUGH THE ATTEMPTED COUP ON DEMOCRACY WITHOUT KNOWING IT. It’s a bit rough, but it’s got some good parts and it spawned the whole damn series.)

Hands Up

- "But of course he had, they had always been able to read each other and what they meant. That had often been their problem, if he was going to be honest."

(In which they figure their shit out. Basically it was written when I was thinking alot about how my own mental health had evolved through the years. It’s basically the story of two people who are both very good for each other and also very bad and how they deal with that. It’s probably the most personally meaningful thing I’ve ever written.)

The other BNHA fics:

Waking Up With Ghosts

-"Hizashi opened his eyes to a world that belonged to ghosts. His headphones were gone and the gray, grimy world that he felt more than saw was muffled and still. This was bad, he hazily thought."

In which we follow Hizashi shortly after the events of 296. How he's found, how he finds out and how he has to tell.”

(I fished this one out of the garbage of my Google Docs because I’d written most of it and forgotten about it. I dragged it out, prettied it up a little and threw it up on AO3. It is by far my most well read BNHA fic, go figure.)

Leave Her Johnny

-”Captain Hizashi Yamada has combed the Seven Seas looking for the elusive smuggler Eraserhead. He has spent years searching for him, tracking his movements and trying to anticipate where he would be next. But he had never considered what would happen when he finally found him. “

(I wrote a paragraph of this and was immediately like ‘I MUST CREATE THIS’. I take some chances writing wise in this as the whole thing is done in a Victorian Era ish style of writing. But I think it’s effective and the ending is likely one of the best that I’ve ever managed. I’m proud of it.)

Gold Rush

-”"That earned him a laugh and Mashirao’s smile made something in his chest ache, something that made him want to hurt. Why had he ever left?

“I’m really not,” Mashirao was saying but Shinsou just shook his head and kissed him once, twice and wished he could take the sunny afternoon and make it stay forever. Make it stay forever like Mashirao somehow had, while the neighborhood had adjusted without Hitoshi’s permission.

“You are,” he said, “And I love it.”

I love you, he should have said. But as Mashirao’s eyes softened and the blonde pushed him back against the bed, Hitoshi knew he didn’t need to say it."

(You know how sometimes you listen to a Death Cab for Cutie song about gentrification over and over until a fic comes out? Because that’s basically what happened here.)

Black Sun

‘"But then he remembered the way that Shouji had eaten the night after, one hand curled into his hair as he hung back in the corner. Shouji hid when something was wrong, like a wounded cat trying to find a dark place to either live or die and he was being released tomorrow. Now was the time to push or he’d find Shouji right back on his bed, staring at nothing."

Something happened to Shouji on the beach. Tokoyami is sure of it.‘

(Aaaaaand Death Cab for Cutie strikes again. But heyo, my first published ShouToko and it is SOFTTTTT)

In the Far and Mighty West

Mic came closer and despite himself, Shouta could not find it in him to feel afraid. “You won’t understand, not really. I’ll try, though. I’m like Pecos Bill or Paul Bunyan or a jackalope or that fish that your friend caught that he swears he brought in but that you’ve never seen proof of. I’m the herd of dogies moving sweet and steady in the right direction, I’m no stragglers to worry about, I’m that perfect dog that’s there to keep them in line. I’m that group of good friends that you would kill for, I’m the woman who you’re dying to come home to, I’m that promised home of milk and honey. I’m Mic.”

Shouta stared at him dazedly and licked his lips, feeling drunk and stupid as he stared at the man. “You’re… magic?”

“I suppose you could call me that.”

(Cowboy!Erasermic. Inspired heavily by American Gods and my own love of folk heroes.)

In Your Violence

- “'Mezou frowned, eyes narrowing. “Are you trying to say that you’re scared that I’ll be killed by having faith in you?”

“It would be in your best interest to stay away from me,” Fumikage finally said, his voice falling flat and quiet. “I am destined to be a monster.”

'Mezou gets the call he fears, the one that says that Fumikage has lost control again. But this time it's different, in more ways than one.”

(I listened to Silence by Marshmello until I went insane in this is the result. Featuring some of my super depressing headcanons about Shouji! But it’s not awful.)

My hockey fics that I still like:

Hufflepuff Halfwit

- ““Zhenya, the wind is coming from the west, I will not remind you again. You shut that window before the house stinks of factories!” She snapped and Geno stared at the owl as though maybe it would know what to do. But instead, it had given a little hoot and wiggled inside, only to drop it’s letter on the counter.

He turned his head very slowly back to look at his mother, who had suddenly gone very quiet. “It… just showed up, Mama. And um. It brought a letter.” He waited again, looked back at the owl who had begun to nose at the pirozhkis in interest and then looked back at his mother with the best puppy dog eyes he had ever attempted. “Can I keep it?”

(This is a part of my hockey/Harry Potter au that still legitimately haunts my dreams. It’s basically a Sid/Geno in Hogwarts but I really love the world building I got to do with Koldovstoretz, the Russian school of wizardry. Don’t read ‘On the Word of a Slytherin’ though, I’m not as proud of that one.)

The Prince

- “What the fuck.” Matt breathed out, sitting back heavily onto his hotel bed as he stared at his phone.

‘This is Henrik.’ The text read. ‘I would like to meet you. I will book a room in Pittsburgh at your convenience. Let me know what time will work for you.’ -

(Listen, it’s Henrik Lundqvist/Matt Murray smut, I feel like that is novel and interesting and worth your attention. I wax poetic on goalies in this, as you do.)

The Zoo of Toronto

- “No one missed it when a massive porcupine had shuffled in between the reporters with a single minded focus, pushing media away until it was able to grip onto Phil’s suit pants and try to pull itself up. He hadn’t been able to do more then besides pick the animal up before it could shred his pants to shreds and walk out of the locker room before the decision had been made with the Toronto media.

Phil Kessel was guilty.”

(Not gonna lie, this is probably my favorite of the hockey fics I’ve written. And it’s Phil/Carl, which is never found anymore but it was a good pairing.)

#my writing

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jason-the-mommas-boy · 4 years

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SFW Alphabet with Jason Voorhees

Summary: What the title says! The SFW alphabet with Jason and his S/O (that’s you!)

Word Count: 3k

A/N: This has been in my google docs for awhile and I’ve been trying to finish up all of my drafts, so here we are! Hope you enjoy these <3

A = Affection (How affectionate are they with a s/o?)

Whenever you and Jason are free for a while, all he ever does is be affectionate! Don’t be surprised if he keeps you in his lap and just cuddles you there (with mask nuzzles included!) for as long as time permits him to.

Jason tends to be very affectionate to make up for the fact that he can’t say “I love you” since he lacks a voice. It’s also his way of showing you how much he appreciates you!

Your daily tasks are usually interrupted by Jason just picking you up for a hug! He loves hugs the most..

Whenever he comes home, he drops everything to just spend at least a good 10 minutes in a cuddle session with you.

Honestly, if he could, he’d spend the rest of his days by just sitting by a fire with you in his arms.

B = Breath (What could their s/o do to take their breath away?)

Going to be completely honest, you will not need to do much at all to take Jason’s breath away

Wearing makeup or something cute? He’s finding himself dead in his tracks because he’s so in awe!

Calling him a pet name or giving him something? He’s on the verge of crying or completely flustered! He’s already thinking of ways to show you his thanks and what he could give you in return! There’s no such thing as giving Jason Voorhees a gift and not getting one back within a few days.

Literally doing anything that’s considered kind? His heart is melting and he’s at your mercy. He’s very attention/touch starved, so anything sweet you do is usually completely new for him.

C = Cuddling (Do they cuddle? If they do, how and when do they cuddle?)

This is a big yes!!! Of course Jason loves to cuddle with you, it’s one of his favorite pastime activities.

Typically, Jason would enjoy having you sit in his lap so he can wrap his arms around you and hold you there.

When it comes to little-spoon and big-spoon cuddling, it’s up to what you want to be. He’s fine with being either and doesn’t necessarily have a preference. Anytime spent with you is cherished either way.

Evenings and nights are usually the times you both cuddle, as Jason spends his days walking around the camp, on search for any trespassers, and resetting traps and all the like. As much as he loves you, responsibilities come first.

D = Dream (What do they dream of doing with their s/o?)

Jason dreams of not having to worry about teenagers, tourists, and just plain dumb people who didn’t listen to the warnings from the townspeople. He wishes to not have to kill and kill again just so he can spend all of his time with you!

He just wants to help you, make your day easier by doing your chores, and then shower you with gifts and love.

E = Effort (How much effort do they put into a relationship?)

To say it easily, Jason gives a 20/10 when it comes to his relationship with you.

You said you liked this thing? Even if it’s not easy to get, especially when he gets most of his things from campers, he’ll find a way to get it for you!

Feeling blue? He will bring you your favorite food, get a blanket, and bundle up with you. If you tell him what’s wrong, he’ll listen and try desperately to fix the problem. Just need comfort? He understands and has your back.

Always thinking of you! This outfit that he stole from a camper fits your fashion sense, so he’ll definitely bring it home.

You want to start a project? Okay! As long as it doesn’t involve you getting hurt or walking around on your own, he’s totally for it! He’ll try to get you everything you need.

He’ll listen and follow your command unless it’s against his wishes. Your happiness is his number one priority.

F = Fear (What do they do if their s/o is scared? How do they handle it?)

He’ll have to understand what you’re scared of to truly really know how to help.

Jason will remain calm to the best of his abilities and assure you in the only way he knows that you’re fine, he’s here for you.

If you have a fear of anything scary like wolves and such, he’ll try to explain that there’s no need to be scared. He’s the scariest thing living in the woods and you’re brave enough to sleep by his side every night! But to make sure, he’ll take extra precautions and shoo away any unwanted animal visitors around the cabin.

If you’re scared of thunder, he’ll try to find something that he could play or get you to read a book with him to take your mind off of the storms outside.

If your fear stems from trauma or memories, by god does he understand. He will try his best to avoid whatever stirs the reaction from you just as you stay clear from the dock at the lake.

G = Gifts (What type of gifts do they give their s/o? Do they want a gift in return?)

Jason will give all kinds of things to you! Cool rocks he finds, the pretty flowers in his garden that remind him of you, stolen clothes that he thinks that might fit, and anything you’ve shown interest in!

Sometimes he’ll do grand gestures, such as building you a little tree house to stay in if you’re ever too cramped in the cabin. He’s ensured that it’s 100% safe and free from accidentally stepping in any bear traps.

Jason will never ever expect anything in return. Giving you gifts is no trouble to him at all as your reaction and a ‘thank you’ is good enough for him.

But, if you’d insist on getting him a gift, expect this poor boy to be completely flustered. He’s definitely not used to getting stuff from other people.

H = Hugs (Do they hug their s/o? How often?)

This is the most obvious yes I have to put here. Jason loves hugging you and will try to do so daily.

I = Intimacy (How romantic are they? Do they have problems with intimacy?)

At the beginning of your relationship, Jason will be extremely hesitant and cautious to do anything in fear of upsetting or scaring you away.

You would have had to initiate a lot of things at first to show it as a sign to him that it was okay! Yes, he can give you hugs and yes, he can hold your hand.

Jason will try his best to be romantic based on what he knows. He’ll take you out to see the sunset, for example.

A lot of things that he does he won’t see as romantic, such as giving you support whenever you need it and showing you a lot of affection, or y’know, leaving you gifts.

When it comes to intimacy, Jason would be...very hesitant. He has a lot of self image issues, which is understandable, he was bullied for his looks. He doesn’t want you to have second thoughts if you saw him entirely, he doesn’t want you to leave..

He also doesn’t know much about being intimate. He sees teenagers have crude sex, but he doesn’t pay attention to what they’re really doing.

After driving over many small bumps in the road, Jason is yours to teach and make love with.

J = Jealous (Do they get jealous? How do they act when jealous?)

Jason really isn’t the type to get jealous...often.

If he sees you talking or even walking with someone that is camping on his land, he’d be mad at the trespasser and be more worried for you instead.

The times he does get jealous, don’t expect him to really act on it besides an occasional pout and maybe be extra clingy.

Don’t get him wrong, though. He is extremely protective over you.

K = Kiss (Are they a good kisser? Do they like to kiss? How often do they try to kiss you?)

Jason is an incredibly inexperienced kisser. In fact, you were probably his first kiss!

Jason doesn’t like to take his mask off often unless asked to do so, so you’re getting the mock kisses he gives you.

He tends to give you forehead kisses the most, no matter what the height difference is between you two.

Don’t expect him to initiate actual kisses, he’s shy..

But his kisses are generally very...teeth-y. He doesn’t mean to nibble or bite, but he can’t help it sometimes.

L = Love (When do they say they love you? How often do they say it? Do they prefer to say or show it?)

Jason can’t literally say it, he’s a mute, but damn him if he didn’t try to convey that he loves you all the time!

If you’re going to teach him American Sign Language, that’s the first thing he wants to learn!

He loves showing you little acts of affection to let you know that he loves you. It’s the simple things of just sitting you in his lap and enjoying the moment for what it is. He doesn't need words to let you know that he loves you so much.

So, essentially, he’s a puppy. Sitting at your feet and lapping at whatever attention you give him.

You can tell you that this man would break the earth for you if you so much as asked.

M = Marriage (Do they want to get married? If so, what kind of ceremony?)

It’s something that doesn’t cross his mind unless you show interest in wanting to get married.

But he’s totally up for it if you bring it up! It’s definitely something his mom would have wanted for him, or at the least, wanted to see. And, obviously, because he loves you.

He’d love to hold the ceremony outside/out in the woods! He’s such a sucker for nature, it would be a crime to not have nature included in some way.

Sadly, it wouldn’t be an official marriage, but it’s definitely the thought that counts here.

N = Night out (What type of dates do they like to go on? How often do they like to go on them?)

Jason just absolutely adores taking you out to see the sunset or sunrise. There’s something so beautiful about it that he just wants to share the view with you by his side.

He also prefers little nature walks in the forest, teaching you the paths that are safe to walk and point out where the traps were. View the wildlife, befriend them maybe. Jason was a natural when it came that, he did have a bit of that disney princess inside him after all.

Honestly, if you guys don’t have anything planned personally, he’ll take the time out of his day to take you out, sometimes even for dinner! Whatever you prefer, really.

O = Out of the Ordinary (What’s something they don’t normally do with/for their s/o?)

For as often as I write about it, Jason does not take off his mask and clothes very often. He is much too self conscious and has to be assured that he has no reason to be ashamed.

He’s typically just happy with the little kisses he gets on his mask, and he’s never been one to care much about sex, so taking off his clothes hasn’t been that much of an issue. Unless forced to get him to wash up or clean his clothes, of course.

P = Playful (Are they playful in a relationship? If so, how do they play around/mess with their s/o?)

Usually, Jason is very straight forward in his relationship with you. And usually the one being playfully teased.

But every now and then, he’ll definitely play up the killer act to give a little spook to you if he’s in the mood.

Or give very playful eyerolls or head tilts to silly questions, but maybe that’s about it.

And...maybe, if his darling S/O (that’s you!) doesn’t listen to his set rules for an amount of time, he’ll set up a playful punishment.

Q = Questions (Do they ask their s/o their opinion on things? Do they share theirs?)

Jason is very old fashioned and was born in a time where there wasn’t a lot of technology, so of course he has questions and wants to know what you think about stuff!

I’m sure something as simple as you pulling your phone out to take a selfie with him is enough to make him tilt his head and point a finger at the cellular device, as if to say what’s that? and so on.

R = Random (How spontaneous is their relationship? Do they do things on the spot or plan ahead?)

It’s not really spontaneous to expect Jason to do something special maybe once a week after the day is over.

He’s a busy man! He has a camp to watch over and take care of, and his mother’s memory to keep up. He has many little chores to do and can’t really make room out of his schedule, especially when it’s summer.

But in seasons like Winter, he will devote his time to you and plan many dates. Typically, though, you usually don’t know about them until he carries on with what he wants to do, so his relationship with them can be spontaneous, but also expecting.

S = Sleep (How do they sleep with their s/o?)

Jason has no need to sleep while he’s out and about. The only time he really does is when he goes into hibernation mode if his body desperately needs to regenerate/heal.

So, while you two share a bed, he does not sleep. Instead, he spends the night cuddling with you and watches you.

Don’t expect him to stay long in the morning, though. He is completely restless and needs to get out and about on his morning routine. He can only handle laying down for a certain amount of time. A perfect killer can’t get tired, after all.

T = Trust (How much do they trust their s/o?)

Oh, jeez, if you can somehow capture the Killer of Camp Blood as your boyfriend, he has put his 100% trust into you to show this sweet side of his.

I mean, the townspeople don’t call him Killer of Camp Blood for nothing. He’s a murderer with a messed up and heartbreaking backstory.

To date you, he has full trust that you won’t tell the police where he resides. To let you in on the truths of his legend, to see how vulnerable he really is, and just let that inner puppy of his to shine.

So, all he asks is that you don’t break his trust, be honest, and love him back.

U = Unique (What makes them unique as a s/o?)

Big slasher boyfriend who could probably lift 4x your weight with ease.

Jason is also basically an undead zombie roaming around a really old camp that resides in the woods and is a momma’s boy!

He’s a good listener, very respectful of what you want, and will treat you like royalty just because!

Everything about this giant guy is unique!

V = Vulnerable (How long until they can be vulnerable around their s/o? What are they like in this state?)

It will...take a lot of time for Jason to even become close with you.

It will more than likely take months for him to finally trust you to not judge him, and then he will maybe open up.

Essentially, someone could assume as an outsider, that Jason being soft and sweet is the exact definition of vulnerable for a killer. And they wouldn’t be wrong.

To allow himself to be, well, himself! Not have to be scary and brutal, to be allowed to have a break and just confide in you.

W = Wild Card (Get a random domestic headcanon of the character of your choice)

Jason knows how to sew!

He usually makes clothes for himself when he needs to get new ones. And seeing as he’s monster size, he can’t usually come across clothes that naturally fit.

But, as a gift, he will start to learn how to sew hats and other types of clothes that you show interest in! He definitely wants to make you things and see your reaction!

It’s probably a once in the blue moon thing as Jason doesn’t take much pleasure in sewing (his fingers are much too big to get much done), but he knows its worth it if you enjoy the present!

X = X-Ray (What would they do if their s/o got injured?)

Panic.

Maybe panic a bit more, but then he’ll search the area to see what caused the injury. Some asshole campers? They’re dead in a heartbeat. Tripped or got cut against a corner? He’s baby-proofing everything possible. The last thing he wants to see is his S/O hurt.

He will then try to locate where the injury is and take care of it to the best of his abilities. He naturally regenerates when he’s hurt, so he’s not the best educated on this topic. Of course, with each little injury comes a mock kiss and bandaid.

If he can’t do anything to help with a first aid kit, he will have to take a bite off his ego and pride and sneakily bring his S/O to the closest house so the owners can take them to a hospital. He can only hope for the best then.

Y = Yuck (Do they have any pet peeves about their s/o? Are there any habits that might bother their s/o?)

It’s not so much as anything he finds yuck, but maybe upsetting. He hates seeing you leave the cabin without him. It's an awful habit he dislikes because you’re risking yourself getting hurt! He has bear traps about everywhere in and around the camp, and you could even run into intruders! Much too dangerous and risky.

Z = Zeal (Are they passionate as a s/o? Do they want or like passion?)

Jason is very passionate when he wants to be! He definitely craves the attention and is definitely willing to give it back!

So, this is probably the second biggest yes I’d have to put in here! Treat this pup right, he definitely deserves the love (:

#jason voorhees #friday the 13th #jason voorhees x reader #jason voorhees imagines #slashers x reader #slasher x reader #slashers fandom #slasher #slashers #sfw alphabet #narrator's writing #500+#1000+#1500+#2000+#2500+#3000+

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just-the-hiddles · 3 years

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Writer’s Spotlight | myoxisbroken

Happy hump day, peeps! This week’s spotlight is the queen of a historical fic, AU or canon. The maven of food porn in a fic. And the reigning champ of teasing me with smut @myoxisbroken ! Let’s dive in!!

The Basics

MASTERLIST HERE

Any other names you want people to call you?

Miss Ox, myox, whatever you feel like!

How long have you been writing fic?

2 years.

What fandoms and/ships do you write?

MCU (Loki, Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes), other Tom Hiddleston characters (Pine, Conrad, Sharpe, Buxton, Nicholls, Plumptre, and ever-growing), and just branching out into Pedro Pascal with The Mandalorian; I also have a few Doctor Who fics in my Masterlist (Ten/Donna Noble)

How did you get started writing fic?

I was reading a ton of Doctor Who fic and enjoying the Doctor/River Song stories. Then I rewatched DW season 4 and was so depressed about Donna's ending that I immediately watched the David Tennant/Catherine Tate version of Much Ado About Nothing. And then I started to ship the Tenth Doctor and Donna.

So I read a bunch of their fic and thought, "You know what would be awesome? If someone wrote a WW2 AU where Donna's a single mother and the Doctor is an injured fighter pilot that she takes in as a boarder." And then I started to get snippets of dialogue in my head, and ideas for scenes, and I wondered if I might be able to write a story myself. I hadn't written anything in years, but I decided to give it a try. And a few months later, I had my first story completed, a 14-chapter Doctor Who AU.

After that, I had the writing bug and I haven't been able to stop coming up with ideas and working to put them into words!

Story Recommendations

Which of your stories are your favorite?

It is honestly so hard to choose. I'm only going to choose completed works, because I always love the WIPs I'm working on. So, let's see: You Bring Me Home is one of them, because it was so fun to just jump into a sexy vacation romp with some playful kink exploration for James Conrad (Kong: Skull Island). With Brooding Wings was my first attempt at a vampire story using multiple Tom Hiddleston characters, and I really enjoyed playing with the dynamics of different personalities and settings in that world.

In A Restless World Like This Is is another, because I had such a great time writing a fluffy love story for Steve Rogers and an older OFC. It started as a spite project because of someone's objections to older characters and turned into such a lovely experience. It was one of the easiest I've ever written in terms of how quickly it flowed from my brain through my fingers. I'd loved writing for Loki (An Excellent Suggestion was my first Loki story, and my first time writing smut) and for Bucky (We Are All Victims of Physics Sometimes was my first dip into capturing Bucky's quiet reserve and depth of emotion).

I honestly could go on and on about stories but would only sound more conceited.

Which story are you most proud of?

I think A Pursuit of the Heart. It was my first time writing in the Regency/Georgian era, and I did a TON of research for it. It was also my first novel-length story, and I didn't even know if I could take on something that big or write a historical romance convincingly, in a way that felt era-appropriate and true. I was so proud of the finished product.

Which of your stories do you think is the most underrated?

Let Your Heart Be Light, a Bucky/OFC story with a Christmas theme - its companion piece, Kissing The New Year In, also didn't get much traction. But I loved writing them!

Someone is new to reading your stories, which story/stories should they read first?

It depends on what actors and characters they like, really, as well as if they like smut or fluff or both. For a smutty one-shot, I'd recommend An Excellent Suggestion (which has a one-shot sequel). For a swoonier longer fic with smut, I'd recommend either You Bring Me Home or my fake relationship Steve Rogers fic The One Thing You Can't See.

For fluff, An Unforeseen Outcome is a Loki one-shot with both fluff and a little emotional hurt/comfort. Interestingly, I've written more not-smut fluff for Loki than for any other character. I think I just want him to find connection and love and acceptance so much.

And if you are a fan of historical romance, I'd recommend either my Thomas Sharpe AU A Compromising Situation, or if you like your fics with a healthy dose of angst, Beside Us When Beauty Brightens, my William Buxton (Return to Cranford) story about what happens after he loses Peggy.

Which Story did you do the most research for?

A Pursuit of the Heart, since it was my first one set in the Georgian era and I had a lot of catching up to do! I research for most of my stories, and definitely for my multi-chapter stories. Even if they're contemporary, I still look up resorts, locations, restaurants and local foods, things to do, etc. I can't help it. It's like I'm addicted to research.

Which Story was the easiest to write?

For a multi-chapter fic, In A Restless World Like This Is. For a one-shot, probably my Loki Christmas fluff All I Want For Christmas Is You.

The Writing Process

What is your favorite part of writing?

When a scene I've had in my head just flies out of my fingers and onto the page, and I can read it back and think, "YES! That's just how I wanted it!"

What is your least favorite part?

When my brain is too scattered and unfocused to actually allow me to do any writing.

Describe your style in 1 to 2 sentences.

Well-researched stories that use the information to make you feel like you're there and that incorporate sweetness into even the smuttiest scenario. Also, food porn, and porn porn.

Who are some of your writing idols and/or influences?

For published novels, Mary Balogh and Sabrina Jeffries are two of my favorite historical romance writers, and I think that reading them has helped to make my writing better. In terms of fic authors (some of whom are also published), @nildespirandum and @caffiend-queen were two of the first I read in the Tom/Loki fandom and their excellent quality and intriguing plots are an inspiration, even if I will never be able to write plots as twisty as theirs. Also, reading @yespolkadotkitty's stories helped me push myself to get better at setting scenes and at incorporating the various senses into stories, because she is so good at both of those things and so much else.

What programs do you use to write and/or edit?

I use Google Docs. I have also been dancing around buying Scrivener for an original novel I plan to write and shop around, so I'll be doing that soon.

Are you a plotter or a pantser?

Plotter, for sure. My brain would implode if I tried to pants my stories.

Do you write RPF or not?

I have a few chapters of a Tom Hiddleston RPF in draft form but haven't proceeded with it. I'd kind of like to write a Pedro Pascal RPF one-shot. I love reading RPF but feel odd about writing it for some reason.

Who is your favorite character to write and why?

Again with the tough questions! It might be Loki, because he is such a chameleon and there are so many hidden depths to him. I really want to write some multi-chapter Loki stories, because so far I have done one-shots and one 3-chapter short fic. I'd like to explore a longer character arc for him.

What do you think are your writing strengths?

Authenticity because of my research, realistically depicting emotions, and writing in a style that feels genuine to the setting and era.

What do you struggle with?

PLOT. I do think that there is plenty of room for all kinds of stories, and I like to tell stories about relationships. But I would like to get better at adding outside conflict and other types of plot to my stories.

Favorite Trope?

It's so hard to choose between There Was Only One Bed and Fake Relationship. I think those are my top two.

What is the best piece of writing advice you have heard?

Write something. Anything. Even if you think it's crap, get your first draft done, because you can always go back and rewrite something that's bad and make it better. Also, if you're stuck on your WIP, write something else - a piece of another story or one-shot, a description of something you saw, a character profile, a bit of personal journaling. Keep writing and don't let a temporary roadblock turn into a long-term one.

What would you say to a new fanfic writer starting out?

It's hard when something you wrote doesn't get a lot of attention, especially when you love it. We share stories in the hopes that other people will discover and enjoy them, but you have to at least partly do it for your own satisfaction, or it will get pretty discouraging if the likes/kudos, comments, and reblogs just don't happen.

What is a random bit of research you have not managed to work into a fic yet?

Ladies' drawers (underwear) were not commonly worn until the mid-1800s. They were thought to be gentlemen's garments and it was thus vulgar for a lady to wear them. Yes, ladies of the Georgian (incl. Regency) era were generally commando beneath their skirts, petticoats, and shifts. But that was still a lot of layers.

Any goals or WIPs you want to share?

My goal is to write an original novel (series) set during the Napoleonic Wars. My hope is to get it researched, written, and put in final draft form so that I can send query letters out before the end of 2021.

This or That

Fluff or Angst

Fluff AND Smut

Reader Insert or OC

Canon Divergent or AU

Pepsi or Coke (Neither: Cherry Coke Zero)

Coffee or Tea (Neither: Cocoa)

Sweet AND Savory

And that is it, until next week, remember to check out the masterlist here. And your new fav fic is just around the corner! Until next time, toodles!

#writer's spotlight #myoxisbroken #tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston fanfiction #loki #loki fanfiction

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dragonflymage · 3 years

Link

Sure, why not! 😊 This will probably take me a while and I’ll keep digging it out of my drafts, but here goes! (This took forever!! lol)

I went to a Catholic kindergarten, a Protestant elementary school (2 years), a Baptist elementary and high school (8 1/2 years), and then graduated from a Catholic high school.

I have two younger brothers (one is an IxFP and not sure about the other). I share the same father with one.

I’m an INFP, HSP, 4w5. Basically, I’m a feely introvert.

My parents were teenagers when they had me.

My eyes are green-blue.

I had a foster brother for a year.

When I was 8, my house caught fire. I used to have nightmares about my library books, Christmas tree and presents burning in the flames.

I am allergic to bananas.

I learned how to play the flute.

I once sang “Part of this world” from the Little Mermaid in front of a class. I drew a large piece of art to go with it.

I collect dolls and take their pics. I have a doll gallery. It’s on Instagram.

I can’t swim, but I’m not exactly afraid of water. As long as it doesn’t go over my head.

I do have an odd fear of bridges with metal beams over their tops. If I see one, I break out into a sweat and get the terror. I don’t know why that happens and not with ordinary bridges.

I love to listen to ambience videos on YouTube. The ones where there is a fireplace crackling while it rains outside. Or the sounds of pages turning or wind blowing. They help me focus while I work. I even started making some of my own! Dragonfly Mage YouTube channel

I am good with a camera. My favorite is the Canon PowerShot.

One of my favorite ice cream flavors is Ben & Jerry’s New York Super Fudge Chunk!

I currently have 2 cats and 2 budgies.

My anime favorites are Card Captor Sakura, Fruits Basket, Black Butler (1st season), and most of Studio Ghibli.

I spend my internet time on Netflix, Pinterest, LOTRO, YouTube, Flight Rising, and Quora.

My kindred animal is a dragonfly.

I write fanfiction. My latest uploaded work takes place in the Abhorsen Old Kingdom universe.

I have a TON of google docs where I write all my story ideas and story drafts.

I’ve played nearly every version of SIMS. I am a bit of a SIMS fanatic. lol

I have never had a driver’s license. Think what you want. 😋

I was married once and divorced once.

My father and my uncle owned a cab company, so I grew up around car-repair garages.

I ate a box of Ex-Lax when I was 3 and got extremely ill. I couldn’t touch chocolate until my teen years. And even then it needed crispies or nuts in it. Now I’m able to eat plain chocolate and love it. But it sure took a long time.

I was one of those kids that believed something creepy lived in my closet when evening arrived.

I love pickles, but not on my cheeseburgers.

My father’s aunt and uncle had a cottage on the lake that I went to every summer when I was a kid.

I was forced to redo grade 5 (age 10) because the teachers thought I was too immature and small for my age. Even though I had good grades. 😥

The Lord of the Rings trilogy is my favorite. I will watch all three in the extended version at least once a year.

I make homemade stuffing for Thanksgiving.

My favorite season is winter. Autumn is a close second.

When I was young I got paddled several different times by my pastor for getting too many demerits in class. He used a ping-pong paddle. 😟 I usually got demerits for not bringing gym clothes. I hated gym class!

I put together an INFP music mega playlist and an INFP Chill mega playlist on YouTube. And INFP mega playlist on Spotify. They have a bunch of my favorite music and videos.

The current MMO I play is Lord of the Rings Online. I used to play several others but this is the last to survive as my favorite.

I’m a sci-fi geek. My faves are Star Wars (originals), Star Trek (TNG, Voyager, DS9, Picard), and Babylon 5.

I’m tired of living within a plutocratic, oligarch-based society.

I grew up near train tracks and became accustomed to hearing the whistle sounding in the middle of the night.

I like to make music playlists for my favorite books and for the stories I’m writing.

I never watch and rarely read the news.

I love the sound of onions cooking in an iron skillet. Food sizzling is one of my favorites!

Tea is my beverage of choice. Oh, and Mountain Dew. haha

When I was young I wanted to be an astronaut, but everyone around me said it was impossible because I wore glasses.

If I can’t understand the song lyrics I hear I’ll make up my own.

The Chalion and Penric stories by Lois McMaster Bujold are some of my favorites!

I used to take part in star parties.

My favorite flavor of “coffee” is Celestial Lattes Dirty Chai.

I love cats. I will always try to have at least one cat in my life. 💗

Thanks for the question. 😊

#infp #infp thoughts #introvert #hsp #emotions #emotional #sensitivity #about me

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astorytotellyourfriends · 3 years

Note

M and Q, please? 👀

M: already answered!

Q: Do you have any discarded scenes/storylines/projects?

i do have a folder in my google drive labeled "abandoned" but there are only 2 docs in the jatp subfolder, and both of them are previous drafts of fics i've posted! (the 1d folder is a whole other story...)

i'm very much the type of writer who edits as i go so i don't normally cut out scenes unless they just aren't working. even then, i'll usually copy/paste them into that story's plot doc and save them just in case i end up needing it later. the only one that currently comes to mind is a section i cut out of chapter five of a mouth that i would kill to kiss because it wasn't flowing the way i wanted it to. @where-you-go will probably yell at me if i dangle this without posting it, so there's about a thousand words under the cut lol

Luke hasn't written a thing in over a year. Not one note, lyric, or anything even resembling a song since before the band went on hiatus. It was strange at first, because he's always been the one to constantly scribble down ideas for songs all day, every day. The pages of his song notebooks were covered in all sorts of notes in his chicken scratch handwriting. He's got dozens of notes on his phone that have half-finished lyrics, or voice notes that are comprised of him humming half a melody that came to him in the middle of the night.

Writing felt like a part of him, ingrained in his soul. Music is what he loves and he made it his whole life. But when he cut Bobby out of his life, he lost that side of himself. He didn't want to write anymore. He'd spent years writing songs about Bobby, even if he never admitted it aloud.

It's been almost five months since Bobby showed up on his doorstep and while things are better between them, Luke still doesn't know how to feel about Bobby most days. They text a little more often now than they did at the start of all of this, and they've seen each other a handful of times since the twins' birthday party.

But never alone. There's always at least one other person around, and Luke prefers it that way. Ever since Bobby told Luke he was in therapy, Luke's felt conflicted. On the one hand, he's glad that Bobby is finally taking steps to better himself. But on the other, he can't help but worry if it's all just some ploy to get him back.

Luke still doesn't know what he wants from Bobby, or if he even wants anything at all. Five months isn't enough time to undo twenty years of damage, no matter how often Bobby's seeing his therapist. But even Luke can't deny that the feelings he fought so hard to destroy are slowly creeping back into him.

He's missed Bobby. He'd spent the last year so angry at Bobby that he'd forgotten what it's like to just be around him. It almost feels like the old days, back before anything happened between them. Luke tries not to let himself get caught up in nostalgia, but sometimes he just can't help it. Even with all the shit they've been through, he still considers Bobby one of his best friends.

And slowly, Luke starts to write again. It's nothing like what he used to be capable of, and that's okay. He doesn't need to spend all day and all night writing songs anymore. The band's still on break and everything is fine. Luke doesn't even know if anything he's written lately would even make it onto a new Sunset Curve record, if that's something they'd even want to do again.

Things are different now. Everything is different. Luke's just trying to adjust to the new normal in the only way he can: one step at a time.

So he lets himself write when he wants to write, and doesn't force himself. He doesn't make himself feel guilty on days when he's not inspired. There's no pressure on him to write a full song. He could write a dozen half-formed songs and it would be totally fine, because at least he wrote them.

Luke tries not to think about Bobby when he's writing. He spent so many years writing song after song about Bobby that it feels weird not to think about him, but Luke keeps reminding himself that he's trying something new. His therapist was right: he still needs to figure out who he is without his attachment to Bobby. It's sort of funny how he went from not thinking about Bobby at all over the course of a year to thinking about him almost as often as he used to.

At least he doesn't feel that same mania he once did. The sort of magnetic pull to Bobby where if he wasn't the center of Bobby's attention at all times, it felt like he might wither away and die. It wasn't healthy then, and at least now Luke knows better. He had to learn to be okay with himself first, to be comfortable enough in his own skin without needing validation from anyone else.

In a strange way, Luke felt that cutting Bobby off was one of the best things that ever happened to him. Up until that point, he'd still been fooling himself into thinking that they could be together. Before that, he'd thought that all he had to do was get sober, and then Bobby would want him again. When that didn't work, Luke just concentrated on trying to remind Bobby of the good times they'd had together, even if Bobby wasn't willing to reminisce.

Maybe what Luke needed all along was just to accept that he and Bobby weren't as meant to be as he thought they were.

The distance between us, it sharpens me like a knife

Luke sighs softly as he reads back the few lines he's written, his eyes going further up the page to reread one in particular: I took too many hits off this memory, I need to come down.

He sighs sharply and tucks his pen into the notebook, shutting the cover before he sets it aside. Thoughts of Bobby had wormed their way into his mind, even when he was trying so hard not to think about him.

Maybe, Luke thinks, shutting him out is the wrong thing to do. He spent a year not speaking to Bobby and he couldn't manage to write anything in that time. Now that he's writing again, maybe it's because he's let Bobby back into his life. As much as he wants to tell himself that he's fine without Bobby, that he's better off without him, maybe it's not that simple.

But Luke still can't come to terms with giving Bobby another shot. Or rather, a real shot. They've never had anything close to a real relationship because everything they did was always kept a secret. It was hard enough going through the ups and downs all on his own, Luke can't even imagine what would happen if he had his heart broken again, only this time in the public eye.

#answered #Anonymous #thank youuuu

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workingforitallthetime · 3 years

Note

9, 14, 15 and a dealer’s choice PLEASE

9. what are you best and worst at when writing?

i think i’m best at details, like dumb little worldbuilding specifics of food and jobs and neighborhoods? idk. i think i’m the worst at sex scenes.

14. what is your speed when writing?

excruciatingly slow. a super productive afternoon of focused writing for me is 1K. I’m so jealous of jes’s ability to, like, blithely produce 20K and then abandon it.

15. what do drafting and revision look like for you?

every vague thought gets dumped into a google doc, and then when there are enough thoughts they start loosely organizing themselves under scene headers, and then one scene will take on so much mass that i realize I’m actually writing it instead of just scrawling down thoughts, and once i’ve got one scene written that’s usually the tipping point where i realize i’m going to be able to write the whole fic, and i usually start from the beginning then.

[dealer’s choice] 22. how much of your own self/experiences do you believe pours into your projects? if this differs per project, which projects have the most and least of you?

the fics that have the most of me are probably the ones where the setting was influenced by places I’ve lived (knocked me sideways and can’t help but be out of reach). but pretty much everything I’ve written has one hyperspecific emotional experience of my own in there somehow (e.g., “thinking you have a crush on someone but it’s actually a crush on something they represent” or “learning to interact with rich people when you didn’t grow up with money” or “Like Brock’s a hiring manager, looking over Jordan’s LinkedIn and wondering why he’s interested in changing fields when his relevant experience is ten years out of date.”)

#thanks you peach!#btw i am gonna do that director's cut someday

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savrenim · 3 years

Text

tropesssss

this got long so I am putting it under a cut; all of my additions will be in italics

Hi, I’m the tvtropes anon who is also the recent long ifmlam question anon. I‘m very happy you like the page! I made it because I wanted people to enjoy it so it’s great to know someone does. I am very actively updating that page. I intend to comb every chapter for tropes and by then I should gotten most stuff that I’m capable of getting, so I’ll message you. “Most stuff” because I bet after all the chapters I’ll realize something in hindsight or learn a new trope that definitely applied to the fic and go back and add it, but that’s probably going to cause way fewer additions than when I’m actively rereading the fic in search of tropes. “That I’m capable of getting” because I’m one person and am capable of straight-up missing things, or of noticing things but not knowing it’s a trope or that it has a trope on TVTropes. Other people are likely to pick up on stuff I missed or know tropes I don’t. Oh! I spent awhile trying to find a trope for touch-activated powers and only found very specific powers like the Midas Touch instead of a trope for touch powers in general. If that trope exists I definitely missed it and there’s room for someone to add it. “Adding back stuff the original cut” needs to be its own trope I s2g. The closest standalone trope I found was Adaptation Expansion, which can be plain old additions the original didn’t have as well, it’s not exclusive to “the original cut this and now the adaptation put it back in” which is what I so desperately want. So until then, it’s an Adapted Out inversion… I also have lots of thoughts about Adapted Out and its inversion. There’s lots of different “types” I identified when I was crawling the Hamilton musical trope page for people the musical adapted out that the fic put back in. I might actually get to separate them by these “types” because the ifmlam Adapted Out section is getting hella long. It’s literally just turning into “a list of every historical person who wasn’t a full character in the musical” lol. Anyways, the “types” 1) Stuff in the source material literally does not exist in the adaptation. In the original book, Character A is 18 in the year 2000 and has 2 loving parents and 7 siblings. In the film adaptation, Character A is 18 in the year 2000 and has 2 loving parents and the truthful line “I’m an only child.” 2) Stuff in the source material doesn’t get included, but there’s no proof it doesn’t exist in the adaptation. The theatre adaptation doesn’t show or mention Character A’s parents, but they never say anything like “I never knew my parents.” 3) Stuff in the source material ultimately doesn’t get included in the adaptation (could be type 1 or 2), but it did get included in drafts of the adaptation/the adaptation creators really tried to include it but never found space for it so it never reached the drafts. Also noticed “types” for adding stuff back when I was working on the fic page. I’m wondering if Adapted Out inversion isn’t the right thing to describe some of these? This list is also going to include half-adding stuff back because it wasn’t 100% removed, which makes me wonder if everything I put under Adapted Out is being used correctly… maybe the characters not 100% removed are actually just an Adaptation Distillation and the readdition is an Expansion? I’ll look into it. But I digress. 1) Character gets a pretty vague reference in the adaptation’s adaptation, one that isn’t a crystal-clear identification of who exactly is being referenced. For example, the theatre adaptation of the film has Character A refer to “my siblings.” That means at least 2 siblings are included, but we have no clue if this means all 7 are included or not. Or the theatre adaptation of the film shows Character A dancing with someone at the ball. The original book had Character A dance with several characters at the same ball. It’s probably one of those characters, but we have no clue exactly which one. 2) Character gets a clear reference in the adaptation of the adaptation. The theatre adaptation of the film also has Character A refer to “my sister, the pilot” and the

original book has only one sister of Character A that is a pilot. It also has Character A buy baseball tickets with someone with pink hair, and the original book has only one character who buys baseball tickets with Character A and has pink hair. 3) Character is referenced/addressed by name or role in the adaptation of the adaptation. 4) Character appears in the adaptation of the adaptation. Mix and match. I’ve noticed a lot of vaguely referenced characters upgrading to clear references (a 1 situation upgrades to a 2), and clearly referenced characters who were only mentioned getting clear references and mentions again but also appearances (a 2 and 3 situation upgrades to a 2, 3, and 4). Now I realize if you start with a 2 and one-of-3-or-4 situation and upgrade to a 2 and both-3-and-4 situation, you weren’t wholly Adapted Out of the story, you just get your role expanded. I’m pretty sure that’s Adaptation Expansion instead and I’ll have to fix that (I just checked the Adaptation Expansion page again and it directly mentioned reintroducing darker elements of fairy tales back in, so adding back stuff that already existed counts too. It’s not just for making up new stuff to expand on what existed the way I thought). But I’m really not sure if going from a 1 to a 2 is Expansion or inverting Adapted Out. Maybe it’s a different trope entirely. Ditto with being unsure for going from a 1 and one-of-3-or-4 situation to a 1 and both-3-and-4. And for swapping which of 3 or 4 you have, but staying a one-of-3-and-4 situation. Also not that sure where to draw the lines. When does it stop being “yeah Hamilton Adapted this Out and you put it back in, it’s an Adapted Out inversion” and start being “this was way too far removed from/insignificant to the musical’s story to be considered Adapted Out of it, so putting this true historical thing in this fic is no longer Adapted Out”? (It’d definitely be Shown Their Work but I think there’s a more specific trope for it?) Like, is the incident where he talked to John Witherspoon is clearly referenced in a musical line without mentioning Witherspoon himself (and later he’d evacuate the college before the soldiers got near it), is that significant enough a line and significant a role in Hamilton’s life to make the guy Adapted Out and thus making it an Adapted Out inversion when you put him back in? If he’s not significant enough, Sally gets the same line count in the musical (“everyone who loves me has died”) that could make one think of her and how she’s not here, and gets around the same mentions in the fic. Is her “you actually don’t exist” version of not appearing as opposed to Witherspoon’s “we’re not mentioning you but you probably do exist” enough to make her count as Adapted Out in the musical and to thus make her inclusion an inversion of that trope in the fic? Troping this fic is probably my new hyperfixation. Why couldn’t it be math, I literally have a math class whose work I’m neglecting to trope this fic lmao kill me Oh one more thing I am worried the Round 2 musical will fly off into the tumblr namechange void someday. I know I have a copy, from when I could actually message you on tumblr and asked you permission to back up some tumblr posts and you said yes. So I thought of instead of asking you to put it somewhere else, I could get it backed up with that web.archive.org thing or the wayback machine or whatever, maybe those are the same things, in order to be able to link to your stuff somewhere other than tumblr and have it still be clearly yours (my current backup is a Google Doc full of copy/pastes from tumblr because I didn’t think of better options when I did that. If I was inclined to lie, I could very easily just… change it and claim it’s still a copy/paste from you). But then I realized it’s probably better for people to go to your actual pages to give you the traffic instead of the wayback machine or whatever. I don’t remember if you finished songs for the round 2 musical or if it was just a general outline, but this is a request/suggestion (not a demand) to have you

put that on ao3 too instead of only on tumblr? Again, thanks for writing it and for responding to me about it.

hi anon! thank you very very much and it is very cool to see how excited you are about getting all the tropes down! I'll be honest, I hadn't even heard of adapting in or adapting out or any of the trope inversion terminology or downplayed or just. all the lexicon that tvtropes uses, so I am not going to be useful in terms of you making those calls, but I both trust your judgement as well as the glory of a crowdedited thing is that the crowd will eventually reach consensus, hopefully!

one correction, though, re his sister Sally: whenever Wait For It is supposed to have been sung, which I'm assuming you're referencing, it is definitely before the late 1790s as the Reynolds Pamphlet hasn't gone down yet, and Sarah (Sally being a nickname) Burr-> Reeve died in 1797. so the musical line could only have been a reference to that specifically if they were ignoring timelines, which, to be fair, they do quite a lot (the 'first murder trial' bit from the end of Non-Stop actually happened in 1800.)

as for the round 2 musical, I do not have any plans of posting it on ao3, or really anywhere else besides tumblr. I do not post things to my ao3 that are not intended for and thus edited for my ao3. quite frankly, I barely intended to post 'musical, round 3' to ao3; it just got too long to make a reasonable tumblr post and I'd written a lot of active lyrics enough for it to become worthwhile to add that extra polish and throw it up as a fic. round 2 was mostly a thought experiment, I have no more written than the single tumblr post I wrote about it, I plan to write no more than that post, and I do not plan to bring it up to my ao3 standards and will not be posting it on ao3.

I'm honestly not too worried about traffic for ifmlam, and do not mind a link to wayback machine, or cross-posting the post to another website. honestly I don't really care if you put it up on ao3 yourself; I think someone else did it for they had a version of 'musical, round 2', and it was really cool and fell under the general 'fanworks of ifmlam' category. so if you care deeply about things being on ao3 you can post it yourself with a note of it was copy-pasted from the author's tumblr, I don't really care. however, if you're worried about preserving the proof of canoninity, I have no plans of changing my tumblr url mostly because I did so once and it was deeply inconvenient to try to go back and change it in all of my fic, but also tumblr might go down, who knows, wayback machine may very well be safer. also, like. these days I have moved on to enough other different work between both being interested and active in different fandoms as well as spending most of my time writing original work that it feels kind of like false advertising to direct people to my blog specifically for the sake of ifmlam with the expectation of more ifmlam content. when ifmlam gets new content, it'll be on ao3, and there really isn't a lot of related content or fandom blogging on this blog anymore, and given that I link to my blog in every chapter, I figure the people who want to look at my other writing and/or actually support me via ko-fi or patreon have ample chance to. I'm not really concerned about whether or not I'll lose audience because the tvtropes page linked to wayback machine instead of my actual blog if that's what you decide to go with.

#ifmlam

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aloera · 3 years

Note

The ask prompt is too long to fit into an ask TT_TT but here's the doc for it docs(.)google(.)com/document/d/1yDI7iFRhOJ8ENv_IwZAo3rDSUqj80EiJROS10RzRbj4/edit

the lengths u are going for this,,, much appreciated you're very sweet!!!

prompts + answers under the cut!!

INTRODUCTION

Name: aloera

AO3 account: aloera

Fandoms you write for: bnha

How many stories have you written so far: 19

FANFICTION PROFILE

What's your favorite fandom to write for? hmm,,, used to do pjo and eah (ever after high) and eah was fun as fuck i will say!!! i think bnha is my fav mostly bc i made the most friends in this fandom :D

What's your favorite character/person to write for? bkg and kirishima!! cannot choose do not make me <3

Fic you'd want to improve? probably what we deserve? i rushed the beginning and the confession is a bit stilted imo

Hardest fic you've written? between lion and men -_- bc there is so much canon compliant stuff i've gotta write out before i get to the divergence and its HARD

Easiest fic you've written? come home to me!!! it happened so easily,,, no second guessing no writers block just vibes <33 was lovely i miss it

What would you say is the most "famous" fic you've ever written? also probably come home to me? its got the most interaction

first line of the first fic you've ever written and published. [not including my 2014 ffnet fics] "The bell rings, class starts, and Katsuki and Midoriya are inexplicably absent." from come home to me

Have you ever done a collab with another writer? yes!!!!! on two separate occasions and its so fucking fun i highly recommend trying it out its the best

Do you beta? if asked but honestly im a shit beta lmao

Do you like joining fic fests/exchanges? depends on what i have going on irl but in general yeah!!

FANFICTION PREFERENCES

Fluff or angst? definitely fluff

"OCs" or "Reader" inserts? reader inserts!! have been going ham on them recently

Blurbs or drabbles? blurbs!!

One thing you love about fanfiction i just. i really love slice of life romance?? and most media doesn't give you that bc its dedicated to plot and action and that's valid!! but fanfiction fills in the gap which is really nice

One thing you don't like about fanfiction most of the stuff i don't like is less about actual fanfiction and more about how people behave about it

What is/are your favorite fandom author/authors? IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE!!! TURN IT UP!!!

bnha: hiuythn, rae_tnub, Moniix, Ata_Lanta, wrunic, chezka, PurplePersnickety, surveycorpsejean, mahadevi, arxaris, deviance, Oceanbreeze7, MikeWritesThings, bonnia, wonhaebunny, dinosuns

voltron: hiuythn, Oceanbreeze7, DeerstalkerDeathFrisbee, arahir, dinosuns,

and honorable mention to loveclouds im not even in the haikyuu fandom i just love their fics So Much

these are just the ones off the top of my head i have so many favourites idc if i'm only supposed 2 have one!! die mad about it!!!

What is your favorite trope? secret relationship + relationship reveal til the day i die babie <3 <3

Least favorite trope? hm,,, probably just like. angst lmao i cannot stand 90% of it

A fanfiction cliché that you can't help but love? coffeeshop aus,,,, so good

Do you have a type when it comes to pairings? the otp where its like. piece of shit + himbo = love. ex. krbk, catradora, jade/beck

Favorite setting/au? hm,,, truly i cannot pick one KGKSJNHKj but i really like college aus!! and modern aus!! and roommate aus!!

Explain the meaning of your favorite line of dialogue you've written as if someone hasn't read it in context. “He doesn’t know,” Katsuki says, softly. “My timer stopped and nothing happened. He’s not mine.”

the line is from what we deserve!! it's a soulmate au where your timer counts down to the moment that you meet your soulmate!! bakugou's timer ends at USJ when he and kirishima attack kurogiri at the same time (impulsive kings <33) but kirishima's timer doesn't end until kamino because that's when he accepts himself as bakugous soulmate!! unfortunately, when bakugous timer has reached 0, he turned to see that kirishima's was still ticking and therefore believes that kirishima isn't his soulmate.

this line just,, idk. it's really sad. bakugou is such an action-driven character? if something doesn't go his way he Makes it go his way. he's got this insanely volatile quirk and he's got impeccable control of it!! but his love for kirishima isn't something that he can change and he's not going to ruin kirishima's chance of finding his own soulmate because he loves him and wants him to be happy. i really wanted to focus on how resigned he is? and how unusual that is for a character like him.

Favorite trope/genre to write? again, secret relationship with relationship reveals <33 fluff in general is my wheelhouse!!!

A trope/genre you haven't written but think would be a fun challenge? idk if this counts?? have been working on some dead dove concepts!! its super different from what i normally write so its a cool challenge

The one trope/concept you'll never touch and why probably cheating/infidelity?? it just looks,,, super difficult to write well and i don't have enough of an interest in it to try it out

Which do you prefer to write: longer or shorter fics? shorter!! low attention span gang <3

Ideal length to read? 5-10k?

Ideal length to write? 4-8k!!

How long was the longest fic you've ever written? control fraek is around 28k i think?

Have you ever written an AU? yeah!! i've done restaurant au's, soulmate au's, pro hero aus, and fantasy aus (general, not the bnha fantasy ending)

What's your favorite AU trope? hm,, probably when two people in authority are in a secret relationship? ceo's/uni professors/etc etc

Have you ever written smut? yeah!! was. difficult tho

What's your comfort genre? (the one you fall on most in writing/reading) fluff,,, hurt/comfort,,, fix-it fics with happy endings <3

If you were to start writing in other fandoms, which would they be? maybe jjk?? the characters are really cool!!!! fr i might go back to my ever after high roots i love the characters and setting so Much its so fun!!! idec if no ones into it anymore!!!!!

Is there a trope you think you could be easily recognized by in your writing? i've had people say they saw the mention of buff hagakure and recognized it was me so. probably that skdjhnksjd

WRITING STYLE

How would you describe your style? i tend to use shorter sentences and pretty simple words i think? and i gravitate towards lighthearted concepts that allow for ensemble casts and humour!!

Describe your style in three words romcom but fanfic

Favorite words to use when writing? the word reverent!! fuckin love including it!!

Dialogue tags or no dialogue tags? (she said, he said, they said, etc) dialogue tags!!!

Favorite dialogue tag (other than said, if you use them) again idk if this counts but "they said softly" is unmatched

Long sentences vs short vs a mix short <33

What colors would you use to describe your writing? hm,,, depends on the fic i would say?? control fraek is dark green to me?? kinda like a forest at night yk?? scary but there's still life there. sugar cookies is yellow like early morning sunlight, when it rains is yellowy-orange like a caution sign. not gonna list all of them cause theres a lot its just. do u get it? the colours change based on the vibe of the fic.

What song or music genre would you use to describe your writing? think. i am constantly trying to emulate that moment at the end of wasteland baby when hozier goes "im in love/im in love with you."

What kind of metaphors do you rely on? religious metaphors my beloved <33 they're just so pretty!!! i also love comparing stuff to water for some reason?? like that ocean vuong quote thats like "what are you now?/water." it goes hard!!!

What's something you'd say is experimental in your writing at this time? definitely action!! i have,,, no idea how to write it so anything i do is really just me playing around and seeing what works and what doesn't

Do you prefer to write by hand or to type? i've tried both!! personally i prefer typing because it goes way faster but i will say that writing by hand lets me get words down when i'm going through writer's block

What is your preferred place to write (notebook, laptop, cellphone, etc.)? laptop!!

What app/apps do you use to write (word, notepad, etc.)? google docs skjdnkjh its fine on desktop but mobile is,,,,, disgusting

Do you keep a notebook or file/notes page in your phone/device for notes on your writing? ngl i just have everything organized in my drive?? one folder per fandom and then sub folders for ideas+hcs, unfinished wips, and finished fics. multichaps get sub sub folders so i can organize outlines and drafts

Do you listen to music to help you write? yeah!! playlists organized by fic vibe :D

Where do you usually go to write (bedroom, living room, etc.)? mostly in my bedroom??? but moving around to different stops helps too i think!!

How long does it usually take for you to write? again this depends on what i have going on irl, how attached i am to the idea, my mindset at the time, etc!! i am,, the least consistent person skjnhdkjh.

What's your favorite font to use when writing? times new roman my beloved

Other writing habits? sometimes i'll write in the dark?? bad for my eyes but for some reason it gets the words flowing

CONCEPTUALIZATION

How do you conceptualize your ideas? (See specific moments like they're a movie, writing specific lines in your head, don't know until you put the words on paper, etc.) i tend to get inspiration from movies, books, poems, or other fics!!! sometimes one line just makes me go oh,, i want to write something like that,,, and then it helps me create an idea that makes me feel the same way?? i did this with control fraek!!!! i wanted a scenario where bakugou was cold and calculating and i was like hm. to do that he’d have to be focusing on something important. and from there i was able to flesh out the rest of the idea.

Which comes first: the pairing or the plot? with krbk its always always the pairing,, i'll be sitting there like wow <33 i love them <33 what if one of them had amnesia <33 (which, yes, wip!!) otherwise it's usually the plot!! and i slot in characters that i feel make sense

Have you ever used a prompt? yeah!! used a prompt for wlw week 2020 and it was fun as hell

Do you write around the story around a specific scene you want to get to or do you start from a plot idea definitely the first!!!! i almost always write like,,, a super messy scene thats 90% dialogue, keep it in my head, and then write the entire fic around that one moment

Do you find that you include a projection of some part of yourself in the way you write a character? a lot of the time when i write love confessions or love in general i'll have one of the characters think or say that the other person makes their head quiet? and it's because that's what i feel whenever i'm in love?? a quiet mind. i project on characters yeah but i think most of the projection actually goes to the way that i write love

Do you research some of the things you write deeply, partially and kind of wing the rest, or play entirely by ear (in this case, go with whatever base knowledge of the subject you have)? most of the time if i do research it'll be about the setting (ex. the izakaya in to have and to hold) or if i'm having the characters interact with an object that they like. need to know how to use (me, in control fraek: google. hey google. does someone die if they get shot in the foot??? no???? awesome thank u <3)

Have you ever had an idea for a story and forgot about it? lmaoo yeah all the time i'll find like 500-2k words of concepts in my gdocs like i do. not remember this at all

Is there a trope you think you could be easily recognized by in your writing? probably krbk secret relationship lmao

Are there concepts you've tried that turned out better than expected? yeah!! i fully thought the action in control fraek would be awful but it turned out not bad??? which im happy with

Are there concepts you've tried that turned out worse than you expected? again, what we deserve, i personally think it would have worked out better if i'd paced it slower and drawn out the pining but i. do not feel like going back to fix it so its staying the way that it is. pining is so fucking hard to do AHHHH i get so tired with it!!! im like just date already!!!!

PROCESS

How do you come up with titles? in rare occasions (literally. all my multichaps for some reason) the title comes after writing like .5 words of the first chapter im like YES this is it!!!!! sometimes i write the whole thing and pick out one line that fits (what i did with come home to me) a lot of the time i just. steal from songs or poems that i like

What's your favorite emotion to cause on your readers? i like making people happy!!!! love when people comment saying they're cheered up

What's your favorite emotion to write? lovelovelovelovelovelove

Have you ever cried or felt any emotion while reading something you've written? never cried?? but sometimes i'll rereading my hurt/comfort fics 4. yk. comfort

Do you write in order or whatever comes to you? in order!! unless i have a scene that i Need to write and i'll quickly jot it down so that i don't forget

Usual way you procrastinate while writing? ...doing asks like this, making playlists, discord, watching netflix. what don't i do smh

Do you outline or free write? i am. so shit at outlines. i mostly free write and write lil notes for stuff that i wanna add later

Do you set word goals or scene goals (scenes you want to include)? yes!! like i said i'll write loose notes for scenes that i want to add later!! it gives me something to write towards :D

What do you consider when writing your scenes? what goes into making the atmosphere and mood you want? to set a scene i do two things? the first is like,, the five senses bc that always sets the scene really well and makes it feel Real. i'll visualize stuff in my head like its a movie and write out what i would want to tell the set designer?? if the lights are low, if the space is busy, if it's supposed to exude comfort or not.

for putting forward the character's mood one thing i've found that makes a difference is sentence length!! long sentences are good for making a character seem flustered and nervous or not really in control of their emotions? good for love confessions. short sentences are good for when the character is focused on something or short on time. good for fights!!

What's something you never considered to include in your writing that you can't leave out now? def buff hagakure,,,, once i thought of it i was like. if i don't include this at least once in every single fic how could i look at myself in the mirror!!!!!! how could i face anyone!!!!

How do you start a story? establishing a fact about the character or describing the setting! option a is one single thread of gold, option b is between lion and men

How do you end a story? either by tying it back to the beginning or doing like a funny kind of closing??? option a is sugar cookies, option b is a godless society

How do you get out of writer's block? change something!! move something!! i go from typing to handwriting, moving from my bedroom to my living room, switching wips to work on something else!! i do sprints as well?? give myself like fifteen minutes to write something and sometimes 200 words opens up the way for another 2k. sometimes i'll just delete like 500 words and start fresh

Do you edit? or do you toss your writing out there? i edit!!! i'll go over it myself then send it to one or two betas (bee my beloved <33)

How do you edit? do you use spellcheck, grammar checkers, etc? bee is my grammar checker bc he is So Good with grammar. i use grammarly as well for spellcheck stuff mostly?? sometimes my edit process is just like "am i tired of looking at this!! yes <3" and then i post it

PROGRESS

Do you usually like what you write? yeah!!! i post stuff that makes me happy and that i'm fine with rereading!!! i write stuff for self-indulgence reasons first and foremost and i think my writing reflects that sjhnksj

Have you ever written something you didn't like but posted anyways? nope!! even what we deserve i LIKED even if i see a lot of room 4 improvement!! if i don't like smth it's not getting posted

Do you find yourself rereading your writing often? yeah!! the reason i wrote so much krbk secret relationship is because i loved it but i'd read all that there was so i just,, wrote more,, ngl its kinda nice being in a place where i actually like my writing bc i can write stuff that i want to see and really enjoy it!!

Can you tell us anything about your current WIP? sure!! i'm currently working on when it rains which is a fic where bakugou gets hit by a crying quirk!! i'm gonna be using it to explore So Much of all might's character and his relationships with bakugou and aizawa (and i think some people from his past!!)

Can you give us a sneak peek on your current WIP? “You did something. What the hell did you do?” Kirishima sounds pissed off. It would amuse Katsuki if he wasn’t fighting just to stay standing.

“Nothing he didn’t ask for,” Shinsou replies.

“K’ri… shima,” Katsuki croaks out. “‘S fine. Not him.”

His chest collapses back into the familiar dry heaving after that but Kirishima shuts up. He doesn’t apologize to Shinsou.

Kirishima’s a good friend, stubborn and loyal. He stands by Katsuki’s side like an attack dog, blocking him from the view of anyone ogling at his tears.

The last line you've written Ochako knows more than she'd realized. She knows enough to keep her guard up.

It’s not enough.

Open a wip. what’s the first line?

Katsuki wakes up feeling like absolute fucking shit.

INSIGHT

What's your favorite thing about writing? touched on this before but it's mainly just being able to write the things that i want to see and actually enjoy them!!! actually reread them!!!! i thought "wouldn't it be cool if bkg and kirishima owned a restaurant together" and then i wrote it and i like it enough to reread it!!!! being able to create content for myself makes me. so happy

How do you keep yourself inspired? this is gonna sound narcissistic maybe but honestly i'm just really excited about my ideas and where i'm gonna take them and the idea of "i'm gonna get to That scene" keeps me going through the entire thing. also my friends!!!! i'll talk to them about fics and their reactions keep me hyped up enough to finish!!!!

What is your favorite thing to write? just,, slice of life romance,,, stuff thats silly and makes people laugh!!

What do you think your strengths are in writing? i'm good with dialogue!! i do lil voice acting sessions with myself to make sure everything sounds natural and like it's coming from that character skhjnskj

i'm comfortable with my portrayal of love as well??? i spend a lot of time thinking about what it is exactly that i'm trying to get across and i think it turns out well!!

What are things you wish you could practice more? on one hand i wanna get better at writing angst on the other hand i dislike writing angst. do you see my issue

One way you've improved your writing since you began? characterization!! i think i've gotten better at writing characters that are all Different and bring different things to the table!!! i used to project a lot more and it would compromise the characterization because the character was like 70% me and 30% them? not to say that projection is bad but if you do it too much it just,, doesn't read like the character and from a reader's standpoint the narrative can become less compelling

One aspect of writing you're still working on? writing action!!! i. literally hate writing it but i write for a fandom about superheroes so. Unfortunately i gotta learn.

A piece of writing advice you've learned while writing saw this on another tumblr post but they said sometimes if you're struggling with a scene, the problem is five lines back. i've found that to be true!!!! sometimes u gotta delete a chunk and start a little ways back!! i did this with too busy being yours because i was stuck for Weeks and i deleted like 25% of what i had but it helped me actually finish it :D

A bit of writing advice you can't stand when people shit on show don't tell for being overrated lmao bc when u read their writing you can Tell

Something you wish you knew when you first started writing? ,,,,honestly i kind of wish i could know some of the stuff that i used to when i first started writing?? technically i'm better now but creatively i was must better when i wasn't stressing about whether anyone would like what i was writing. so i guess i wish i knew that i should keep that confidence? i kinda wish that i wasn't as insecure about other people's writing styles because i never used to be!!

Something you've learned in life that you apply in writing there's no point in feeling inferior?? writing one genre isn't better than the other. being in one fandom isn't better than being in another. the kind of language you use or the length of your paragraphs- none of that stuff like. matters. what matters is that you're having fun and happy with what you're creating!!!! enjoy other peoples writing but don't let it make you feel worse about yours :D

#AHH ive wanted to answer these for so long...... bro fr i was so happy when u sent these!!! like wow!! finally got sent one!!!#sorry for how long the responses are idk how to be concise #asks #anon #a(lore)a

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allthelittlelostgirlsgrowup · 4 years

Text

Love is History

*taps mic* is this thing on? (I stole that from Obama. He was still in office last time I posted my writing).

So fun thing I did - write an angsty sequel to Love is Fiction. If you’ve never read it, it just got over 300 notes this past week. I figured it was time to dust this off from my drafts and complete it.

I hope you like it and my voice sounds similiar to the last election year when I put this out. Honestly I’m so different now and I think this captures the changes I’ve gone through and the way I view relationships now opposed to four years ago.

Love is History

“Art imitates Life right?” Belle closes the folder encasing a rough draft of her first few chapters.

“All good things come to an end.” Emma shrugs as if the concept of him being just a ‘good’ thing ending doesn’t devastate her. He was the best thing.

She thought she’d never write their break up.

“What’s the history?” Belle squints her eyes, nose crinkling as she watches Emma. Belle has been Emma’s ‘Editor’ since college. Now more official. She gets a paycheck, as Emma gets advances from a publishing company that started as a small mom and pop establishment. In the last four years, this little wagon wheel of a company is now a fleet of office buildings all over the US.

“You read book 3: “Wind’s Ally”” Emma leans back in her chair, studying Belle right back. “You know their history.”

Belle keeps her eyes on Emma, relaxing the tension in her face and suppressing a smirk. They’re at a bit of a stalemate here because Emma isn’t sure what more info is needed and Belle isn’t sharing her thoughts at the moment.

“Emma, I knew their history. They finished book 3 in a ‘happily ever after’ kind of way. What underlying issues could have brought them to this point? Why did Alysandra leave?” Emma considers the question. Why did she decide to destroy the happiest relationship she’s ever written? Why would a character who fell madly in love just change their mind? “Maybe, ask yourself why you left.”

-/-

The sun is setting over the Manhattan skyline when she gets back to her apartment. She doesn’t know where she went after the meeting but her mind just got back to the present and she’s pissed.

Emma flings her keys across the kitchen island, kicking her heels off in a huff before stomping over to her bar cart. She pours his favorite whiskey into the anchor-etched old fashion glasses he got her one Christmas.

“History is a stupid word” she grunts to no one but a tilted glass, muffling the sound as the amber liquid meets her lips a second after. She’s taken up talking to herself these last few months. The first four were spent crying and avoiding her reflection. The loneliness finally set in one night and she made herself her own best friend. So she asks her best friend ‘why did you do it?’ as she feels the tension in her shoulder blades ease. Why? Why did Emma Swan leave Killian Jones seven months ago?

“Wouldn’t we all like to know?”

-/-

The nightmares finally stopped and she no longer wakes with a startle when she finds her bed bare of him. Its been 216 days. She’s cried herself to sleep at least 180. She’s been broken before, boys have left in more ways than one, and she has managed to wake up one day finding herself less damaged than all the others. Today might be that day for the Killian Jones saga.

Today is they announced the upcoming film and casting begins in a few weeks. She knows she needs to finish this novel, but she hasn’t finished much. She barely finishes lunch on most days, barely finishes a thought that isn’t dripping in Killian. It’s been seven months and he is everywhere, in everything. She thought progress was a slowly-operated escalator but she was finally on her way.

And then the congratulation calls come through. Text after text, email, voicemail and she’s sure in a week or two, she’ll get a card from Mary Margaret. She sorts through them looking for something she’ll never find and she has to rewind.

She left him. It wasn’t mutual and it wasn’t obvious. He had no clue. All the calls and texts he was going to send her were sent months ago when he was breaking down in voicemails and begging her to just tell him she was okay.

Congratulations, Emma, you saved him...from ever having to care about you again.

-/-

She doesn’t leave the apartment again until the 245th day. It is easy to stay inside with the modern advances in technology. People will bring literally anything to your front door. Except, maybe inspiration. That she has to go out and find.

She finds herself in Harlem. The Harlem Public Library. She has to get back to her roots. Sure, this isn’t Storybrooke, and no, she’ll probably never meet a pair of eyes as blue coconut as...but her work needs her to find a way to write.

She thinks of his face.

Three hours pass and all she has in a google doc is ‘why?’

-/-

Despite the first failure to launch, she finds she quite likes that library. She’s giving herself a pep talk this time, before she finds herself staring at a blank screen wondering why again.

“I left because I had to.” She looks at her reflection in her bathroom mirror. That’s the only statement she’s made to anyone, herself included. When her friends, her agent, her editor, and her heart ask, she tells them she had to.

She makes her way through her apartment, recounting the moments, hours, days leading up to it. There are very few things her mind makes enough sense to share. Everything else is so convoluted, so tangled up in self-loathing and years of agonizing loneliness, the average person wouldn’t get it. Some days, as she’s matured and healed, she finds even she has trouble understanding it.

There’s not a day that goes by she doesn’t spend half of it feeling nothing but regret. That’s the healthy part of her, the well-adjusted adult who grew from the little lost girl. She’s sane enough to know she threw away the best relationship she’s ever had. She’s sane enough to know she saved him from future hardships with her.

The sound of the empire striking back stirs her from her thoughts. Regina gets the Darth Vader theme as a ringtone so Emma never forgets who really owns her career.

“Hey,” Emma answers as she reaches her apartment door.

“Nice of you to finally answer your phone.” She can hear the glare in Regina’s voice. “You know you pay me to do this right? Not the other way around. Get your money’s worth, why don’t you.” Emma rolls her eyes as she packs her laptop in her messenger bag.

Regina Mills is a fierce woman, as charming as she is aggressive. She can pretty much get anyone to do anything she wants. Emma doesn’t practice in the ways of the force, but she’s certain Regina knows a Jedi mind trick or two, and as her agent, that comes in handy.

What doesn’t come in handy is her tie to Killian. Regina’s husband Robin happens to be Killian’s cousin. Emma avoided Regina’s calls for months after the break-up, afraid she’ll have to answer the same question she’s been asking herself all afternoon. Once she finally started accepting calls again, it seemed Regina had moved on to bigger and better things: A movie deal.

“Right” she sighs. “What’s my money bringing me today?”

“This isn’t money related, so much as a word of warning.” Regina’s tone doesn’t seem as sass-filled as before, so it’s clear she’s not the one wielding the threat. She actually sounds a bit sympathetic. “Belle and I pulled straws to see who got to break this to you, and I, unfortunately, pulled short this time around.”

“There’s a point here.” Emma urges, feeling ill-fated all of a sudden.

“Killian just moved to NYC.” Like ripping off a band-aid. Emma braces herself for pain, but is met with an absence of feeling altogether. Her knees buckle and she finds purchase against her kitchen island. “Emma?”

“When?” She whispers.

“Just a couple of weeks. He took a job with the NYC public libraries, he’s actually doing really well and has just approached Belle with an idea to get the youth excited about writing. There’s a chance you’ll run into him at the office, so I just...we both thought a heads up was necessary.”

“Which library?” because Fate is a nosy bitch and has no business showing up and guiding her to the man she ran from.

“Emma?”

“Which library”

“I think...if I recall correctly, his home base is in Harlem.”

“I’ll call you back.”

-/-

She thought about leaving the country. At the very least, the state. She is overwhelmed, without a question just so damn overwhelmed. She has gotten so used to tears these days, she’s a little shocked she didn’t cry the minute she heard his name.

Her body had other ideas, because although she definitely meant to get on a train going the opposite direction, she found herself in Harlem 25 minutes later.

She sits in the middle of the library at an open table, clickity clacking as loudly as she can. Part of her really believes that maybe if she saw him, she’d remember why she left.

Another part is certain that masochism is her new favorite hobby.

He never appears.

-/- “Hey” Emma answers her phone going off for the eighth time today.

“Emma?” Belle sounds more relieved than usual. “Where have you been, I’ve been calling non-stop since 3.” Emma rolls her neck to view the time on the DVR.

7:45 pm

“Sorry, I’ve been reading all day.” she hasn’t talked to anyone for another two weeks. She does this far too often to still have a support system. Emma’s not sure she’d pour the same amount of effort into anyone who went radio silent every other week.

“We had a meeting at 2:30.”

“Sorry.” She shrugs, because honestly, nothing even matters.

“I’m coming over,” Belle says decidedly.

“No, Belle, you don’t have to do that.” Emma regrets answering on the eighth attempt. “Let’s reschedule.”

“We just did, I’ll see you in thirty minutes. Open the door.” Sure, she’s a small, sweet, meek-looking woman, but what most people don’t know about Belle is she could slay dragons with pure determination alone. In a battle of wills, she's even got Regina beat.

Emma peels herself off the sofa for the first time since noon, snuggie falling to the floor as she heads for the shower. If Bella can make the journey to her apartment, Emma can at least shower. Sure enough, 30 minutes later she’s greeting Belle at the door, a pizza in hand.

“Are you okay?” She sets the pizza on the kitchen island and wraps Emma in a hug. Emma tries to pull her head far enough to keep her hair from wetting Belle.

“Yeah, just...the creative process. Ya know.” Emma trails off as the hug ends. Of course, she’s not okay. ‘Okay’ people don’t stop answering their phones for weeks, they don’t stare at blank pages until their vision blurs. They don’t behave this way. This was her first shower in days.

“He was in the office yesterday,” Belle says after a long silence, just a full 3 minutes of her studying Emma from head to toe. Do her eyes just scream ‘Killian’ every time someone looks at her. “He said he called to congratulate you on the screenplay adaptation.”

“No, he didn’t.” She’s quick to dismiss. She scoured her missed calls for days looking for his name, he never called.

“How would you know, you never answer your phone, Emma.” She sits on a counter stool, tugging Emma to join her. “He’s going to be in every day next week, and I think…”

“No.” Emma cuts her off.

“Let me finish.” Belle opens the pizza box, sliding it toward Emma. “I think you should take a vacation. Get out of the city for a while, maybe visit Storybrooke, since you know he’s not there to run into.” Emma grabs a slice of pizza, not sure when she last ate but too preoccupied with the idea of leaving the city for a while. She ran to NYC. Now she’s running back to Storybrooke. Is he just going to chase her back and forth?

“Did he say anything else about me?” she hates the desperation gnawing at her.

“He asked me why…” Belle sighs “I told him we’ll all find out in book four.”

-/-

God only knows what compelled her to do the exact opposite of what Belle suggested and show up at the publisher’s office. Probably the same thing that led her to the Harlem library a few weeks ago. She bought a new outfit. She realizes she’s barely even worn jeans over the last eight months, and now she’s in a dress and heels like she has an interview to work here. She’s wearing makeup and perfume. She’s trying her best to cover up and signs of the wreck she’s been for months.

The office seems busier than it has ever been, many new, young faces bustling about. She keeps her features calm as she scans every inch of every room she enters for him.

“Emma?” Belle is hurried as she crosses the main floor to meet her. “What are you doing here?”

“I know.” Emma returns the hushed tone Belle is using. “I reworked some chapters, delayed the breakup, and gave more of Aly’s history.” and Belle nods, but is evidently not listening.

“He’s here.” Belle looks almost frightened. “So if you want to reconsider, I would do it now. Otherwise…”

“Swan?” no one calls her Swan. She’s paralyzed. What did she think was going to happen? How did she think she was going to react? When she paced around her apartment for three hours this morning, did she think she was going to just be okay? He would be here, he would see her and suddenly everything would be okay? “Emma…” He tries softer, less shocked, more timid.

This is the moment. In every love story, angst finds its way in, rips the reader’s heart out and although they’ve been bleeding for chapters now, they can feel nothing at this moment. Time is still, the lights are dim, and all we see is Emma and him.

He looks like himself, just more professional. He’s in well-fitted gray slacks, a navy dress shirt, his hair is longer though. He’s got more scruff on his neck than normal. His eyes are too blue, truly, for anyone to notice another inch of him. They stare at her, the same shade that’s been haunting her dreams, and she still struggles to define it. Everything. They’ve always been everything, no matter if it’s more cotton candy than blue coconut.

“Killian.” She swallows. Her throat makes this awkward gurgling sound and she wants to melt into the floor. Why is she here?

It’s suddenly so quiet but so loud. She can hear her heart hammering in her eardrums. No one says anything for a long stretch of time, maybe 2 seconds, maybe 3 hours, she can’t be sure. She just knows there is so much said in the silence.

“How are you?” She asks without thought. The look on his face is devastating.

“Sorry?” He mocks a laugh. “How am I?”

She’s not completely delusional. This is a thing humans say to one another, no? Why does it feel so foreign all at once, like she’s attempting English for the first time with a local?

“Killian” she sighs, releasing the most dizzying breath.

“I’m good” he grits, suddenly covered in constrained anger. “And you?”

And now they are strangers, all dressed up and nothing to talk about.

“Me?” Her tongue drags along her lower lip to buy time. “Good.” She nods.

“I’m just pleased everyone is good.” Belle smiles sweetly. “Now, Killian and I have a brief meeting, and afterward, if you’re still available, we can go over your rewrite.”

An exit strategy. This is quite possibly the only thing she could have hoped for.

“Swan was a bright young writer once” Killian grins, wickedly. “Why don’t you attend the meeting. We’re talking about a youth writing program.” He’s obviously bating her. How dare she show up on a day he’s here and act like she didn’t destroy him…

“Sure” she agrees. Partly because she’s too stubborn to back down from a challenge, and mainly because she did destroy him and there’s that whole thing about masochism she recently discovered about herself.

Belle looks beside herself. Her eyes narrow and she puffs her chest for a moment before leading them to a meeting space. Two more individuals join them, laptops ready to jot down notes and ideas. Her meetings are only ever with Belle so, for Emma, this seems like red carpet treatment.

He has amazing ideas. He loves the idea of bringing an artistic outlet to the children of Harlem. He was always so much more than a shelfer. He was always a dreamer, with these brilliant, compassionate ideas for helping everyone feel less alone, more encouraged.

She was always a fence, holding him back from the best parts of himself.

-/-

When the meeting concludes, Belle graciously thanks Killian for coming, makes promises of action, and attempts to say goodbye.

Killian, as good-natured and kind as he can be, has always had a persistently obnoxious side. He invites himself to the next meeting.

“This is only fair, Swan.” he smiles, though his eyes are full of darkness.

They regroup in Belle’s office after a bathroom break.

As much as Emma is dying on the inside, Belle looks absolutely disturbed by this. She can’t imagine the discomfort in being the third wheel of a breakup reunion.

“So...when we uh, when we left off, you were telling me why they broke up.” Belle sighs, knowing how awful this is. Emma smiles, hoping it lets her off the hook a little. After all, Belle told her to leave town. Emma decided to torture herself.

“Right.” Emma takes a large breath in, holding it while she pulls out her folder. Only releasing once its in Belle’s hands. Killian is studying her like he has a Chemistry final to take tomorrow and she’s the only hope. “Alysandra left Atlas for his…” She’s said it to herself. She’s made hints to others, but Killian has never had a clue. “For his own good. She’s derailed him from his journey. She’s made him less of a pirate, more of a…”

“More of a what?” Killian’s breath is sharp as it floods in through his nose and out through his mouth. “What did she do to him?”

“She reduced him to a caregiver,” Belle answers from what’s written in the text. “Alysandra took over the journey of discovery. She was suddenly the main character.” Belle looks up at Emma with a look she’d only be able to classify as “delayed understanding.”

“In a story about Atlas, Aly becomes the focus. Everything he does, he does for her.” Emma can feel herself losing composure, eyes stinging with tears, throat drier than a desert. Somehow, someway, she finds her way to Killian’s eyes. “He wasn’t living for himself anymore. He had no purpose but to love her. And it was destroying everything.”

She’s not sure if it’s understanding she expects, or maybe gratitude, for saving him from the needy monster that she is. She knows neither is what she received.

“Did you ask Atlas, perhaps… perhaps that’s what made him happiest?” Killian’s eyes are drilling into her like nails, pinning her against a wall.

She is less.

Speechless, motionless, hopeless…

Less sure she did the right thing. Less firm on her decision. Just so much less than she was the day before.

There’s movement after a long pause, not by her, but Belle, gently setting the files down and moving to leave them alone.

“Aly is an orphan” Emma explains and she can see his head start to shake, but she has to be firm. “Listen. She is not the strong-willed, rebel without a cause she pretends to be. Some days the sadness from being alone for so long stunts her. She spends hours upon hours laying awake wishing she could sleep forever. She can be a wreck, a mess, an impossible woman to love.”

Does it make it easier to talk about herself as if she’s someone else? She’s been doing it for so long, all the catharsis from writing herself into stories, just to unpack the things that plague her? Maybe she can have sympathy for anyone but her, maybe its the only way she can recognize how her behavior impacts others. Maybe the book is why she left in the first place.

“You make it impossible to love you, Emma.” She’s never seen his jaw trembling like this before. “And against all odds, through resilience and patience, I’ve found a way to do the bloody impossible. You can cover it up in characters you’ve based off of us, but this isn’t fiction. I was real. What we had...what we had was real. It wasn’t easy, but when you finally let me in, it was simple. We were happy.”

“You were happy?” She brushes tears from her cheeks as she shakes her head in disagreement. “Was it simple? To come home and find I hadn’t moved from my spot on the couch? Was that the ideal relationship you dreamt of, to see all of your energy, love, and time wasted on someone who couldn’t get themselves off the couch?”

“So you got yourself off the couch now.” Killian stands, eyes frantically scanning Emma from head to toe. “Well done, it only took the motivation of ending a relationship to do it.”

“I did it for you.” and she believes that, with everything in her, she left for his own good.

“Did you now?” He seems so out of breath for standing still. “Or could you have possibly woken up one day and realized the weight of a relationship was what was pinning you to the couch. Was it that Atlas cared for Aly too much, or was it the expectation that Aly would have cared for him in return? Was breaking my heart easier than just trusting me with yours?”

And all at once in the middle of the ocean, she can see Aly waking up all alone in the captain’s quarters, searching the whole damn ship for a man who did what the men she loves always do.

“Maybe there were days you thought I was miserable” he kneels before her as the ocean finds its way to this office. His eyes are ocean blue, always changing hues depending on if the sun is shining, or a storm is brewing or they’re in the deep. “But you weren’t afraid I’d die that way, always miserable, no...some part of you thought I’d leave before I let that happen. That’s the orphan I loved. You were never a mess. You were a survivalist.”

So maybe that’s their story. Aly watched Atlas change his life for her, and realized he’s going to live to regret it. Did the last seven months hurt less because it was her choice? If he would have pulled the trigger, would the bullet do that much more damage?

“I would have died miserable.”

-/-

The history she’s writing is hers and hers alone. When she was younger, when her heart was stolen and broken, when she always ended up alone. She was writing an escape plan.

This was the first time she was the one who left, and to quell the guilt of being her own worst nightmare, she forced herself to believe she was doing it for him. How many people have left her for her own good? How many times did she think that they were doing her a favor?

She’s been sitting motionless for who knows how long when Belle comes back. Killian is long gone but his words linger like those dizzy stars after a concussion. Her head is throbbing trying to make sense of it. This wasn’t just seven months spent believing the lie. Now she’s searching for the truth.

She gets anxious in monotony, like a stench in stagnant water, she is repulsed by the concept. She’s never wanted to do the same thing every day. She doesn’t want a picket fence, she wants…She does like a cute cottagey feel with a nice picket fence, she could…she could deal with a picket fence.

She definitely does not want a husband though, or to be barefoot and pregnant, or…

There were times, she’d look at him fresh out of the shower, or in his sleep and he’d look so much younger, she’d wonder what their kids would look like. There have been times she’s searched her fingers as they moved across her keyboard and realized her ring finger would look nice with a natural stone set in some brass band. It was never anything he did that scared her. It was that she thought about more. The concept of more scared her, and the fact that she was greedy and foolish enough to want it.

Four years is a long time to not talk about marriage, but after they moved past her initial anxiety attacks over having a boyfriend, he never really pushed for much again. Moving in together was her idea. He kept enough stuff at her place and with Elsa moving abroad, it made sense to do it. That’s as far as she was going to take it. Another few years piled up and she was busy writing and he was busy being supportive of that, she recognized she was his sun. When he made sure she ate during the weeks she barely left the house, when he kept her house plants alive, when he did her laundry, reminded her to shower, and told her he’s proud of her too often to quantify, she knew she was his ship. An inanimate object, something someone can love so much and not receive the love back in return, and sure, he’s as silly as a pirate to believe a ship that holds itself together while he’s sailing on her loves him, and that’s just her role.

Hold yourself together Emma, that’s always been your role.

She started to get bitter and insecure. What is she contributing to this relationship? How is she making him any better? Has he even written many songs since they moved in together, has she gone to see him perform, has he performed? Some days she was so enthralled in her writing, she didn’t realize he wasn’t home all day. It was his day off and he was gone for longer than a workday. He could have been having an affair for all she knew. For all he did, he deserved to be having an affair, falling in love with someone who would be there for him, encouraging his dreams, and dedicating herself to him.

After that day, she started her drafts. Killian, you’re so much more than I deserved…Or Killian, your life paused the day you met me. And finally, after months, she left him with I need this to be over.

She’s a writer, a published author, an English major and an avid reader yet, through years and years of literature and just terrible romcoms, she never learned how to break up with someone. She never knew the words to say to him, so she said nothing. He called for three-five days, she’s not sure as she was in a sobbing-induced coma. He sent texts, he sent freaking carrier pigeons, and she locked herself in a hotel room with her laptop and her broken heart. Finally, an email came in.

Emma, I’ve moved out. Everything I’ve left is yours…among the worn t-shirts you liked to sleep in and the novels we’ve collected over the years is my heart. Goodbye Love.

“Emma,” Belle brings her back to the present after a very long, painful trip into her past. “Are you okay?”

Why is that word even used to describe how ‘good’ something or someone is?

“No.” She glances over at Belle, she thinks to ask if she talked to him in the hall after he left, if he said anything, if he seemed ‘Okay’ himself but she settles back to a business mindset. Work is the only constant. “Aly left because she didn’t want to get left again.”

“And that’s how it ends?” Belle hands her the folder back. “You can do better.”

-/-

“The concept of fiction isn’t a lack of reality, it just hasn’t happened exactly that way yet.”

She hears his voice cascading down the ramp she’s sitting at the bottom of. It's been a week since Belle’s meeting and she made her way back to the library. Back to their roots. There’s so much history in this building, but the history she’s looking for lives within her. There’s a group of teenagers huddled together like they’re on a tour. Her fingers shake as she looks back down at her laptop.

“Don’t be afraid to use your own daily vernacular. It’s just as likely as any well-researched, powered by thesaurus dialogue, but it will come to you much more easily. That’s your voice.”

His voice sounds increasingly close. She wants to look but if they lock eyes now, while he’s busy, she’s back to being the center of attention. Why did she come here? Does she want to get back to being the center of his attention?

“Swan?” her stomach flips violently. She really didn’t think this through. Her neck trembles as she cranes to look up at him. “Hi.” He clears his throat, the group of teenagers studying them closely from behind him.

“Hi” she breathes. “Uhm…”

“Do you want to meet my junior author group?” He cuts in quickly.

“Hi.” She repeats, only this time her eyes travel across the young faces. “I’m Emma.”

“Emma Swan?” A young girl in the back pipes up. “You write Cap Zeph.” ‘Cap Zeph’ is a very popular Tumblr tag, Emma’s been told. She is now a mild-day D list celebrity with the news of the screenplay adaptation. She never published under her real name until this one, Killian’s idea.

“That I do.” Emma feigns a smile.

“Emma Swan” Killian begins, chest swelling “came up with the idea in a small town library.”

“Really?” another girl with wavy blonde hair tumbling around her shoulders asks.

“Yes, and Killian Jones worked there. He’s…evidently the inspiration. Hair as dark as night, eyes as blue as the sea he sails upon.” Every girl and one boy in the group glance at Killian, amorously. Still handsome as ever. He looks down, scratching behind his ear and chuckling dryly. She wonders if his throat burns the same way her eyes do or if this feels so natural he’s happy to fall back into it.

“Why don’t you all find some books to research personal voice from in the YA section, hmm?” He dismisses the group quickly. They share assuming glances and move to leave in pairs, surely gossiping on the way.

Being alone again is terrifying. She doesn’t know what she’s doing here. Why does she always go looking for him? What does she want? How can they come out of this okay? What is okay?

“What brings you?” Killian starts. He isn’t looking anywhere but her and the look in his eyes leaves frost on her flesh. His expression is so blank. She has no idea if he even wants her here after their last conversation.

“I was just looking for inspiration.” He nods.

“There are study rooms.” He adds, motioning in the direction she may find them. “My office is actually at a different location, or I’d…suggest…”

“Do you hate me?” it comes out without warning.

“No.” He winces. She’s not sure if it’s because he’s lying or because he wishes he were lying.

“Why not?” She asks. He flinches.

“Christ, Swan. Stop it.” He grabs a seat across from her at the small bistro-style table she’s been working on. She closes her laptop to remove barriers between them. “I hated myself for a while. I thought maybe I should have never lost sight of who you were. You’ve always been guarded. I thought I had broken down some of your walls. I should have never assumed I tore them all down.”

This voice within her tells her that it's no man’s job to do the work for her. Her walls are her own to remove.

“What about your walls?” Emma counters. She didn’t come for an argument, but Killian had trauma, he was damaged in theory, but always presented himself as such a well-adjusted, forgiving, kind, loving man. “Maybe you had to go brick by brick, but you knew they were there. I just watched you for years never act like anything troubled you.”

He laughs, loudly.

She’s startled more that she laughs in return than questions it.

“Emma, my love...of course I was troubled. I still am. I drink far too much and try to solve all of my problems myself without anyone’s help.” He’s still smiling as he confesses.”Hell, I didn’t tell anyone we broke up for months and it wasn’t because I thought you were coming back. I just knew I wasn’t going to let anyone worry about me.”

“You’re not troubled” she shakes her head but thinks back to every time he came home frustrated and sealed himself up before she could get a good glimpse of it. “Are you?”

“I spent an entire day at the marina grieving my dead brother, over a decade after losing him. Every time I went to leave and come home to you, I’d get upset again. I used to stay away until I could pull myself together.” His smile slips into something dark and Emma realizes all the ways they failed at communicating. “I loved you just enough to only show you my best parts. I never trusted our love enough to show you everything. And it’s not because you were sad every now and then.”

And she sees the orphan in him the moment she realizes being left behind were his worst fears, too.

“You thought I’d leave…”

“I think the term is ‘best-laid plans.’” His smile is back “Convince an author to fall in love with you, live forever. Only, with my luck, I get to read my heart get broken in the exact same way whenever I’d like. I was looking forward to your book, knowing I’d get to see us in love again.” She considers the part about him looking forward to her book.

“It’s as much my book as yours.” She means that. When she first wrote the Cap Zeph short stories, she had no plan of publishing. Killian pushed for her to immortalize this, to believe in herself and sell it. When the first went well, he convinced her to meet with Regina. “I mean, you are the entire series, after all.” He shakes his head and sighs.

She doesn’t have a response and the seconds tick by. It only takes a few before they reach an awkward silence where one person makes an excuse to leave. And then when do they see each other again?

“I should get back to my writers.” He moves to stand and she wants to jump up, but she doesn’t know what words follow that. She writes fiction. It's why this book has been so damn difficult. Writing their personalities into a fantasy of pirates and fairies, that's one thing. Writing history is another. She can build on what has already happened. This in-the-moment dichotomy, will they? Won’t they? Can they make it work? It’s disturbing.

He’s the quick thinker. Always a come-back, a pun, a literary quote…

“The only thing worse than a boy who hates you…” She opens her laptop nonchalantly, as if it won’t wound her for him to leave. “...a boy who loves you.”

Among the many novels they shared, “The Book Thief” was one of Killian’s most treasured.

He stares at her with wonder glazing his face. “If only she could be so oblivious again, to feel such love without knowing it, mistaking it for laughter.”

Maybe she’d burn every book in this library, for a chance to experience falling in love with Killian all over again, as if it weren’t a moment in history.

The screenplay would read ‘They share a look of longing’ and she’s not sure that’s how she’d describe it. ‘Longing’ seems more cliche and not nearly as descriptive as her quickening pulse would use.

This feels like a pivotal moment where she realizes that they don’t necessarily have to not be in love anymore. They could take a slow pace, like windchimes waiting for a breeze to bring them together. That’s all a Zephyr is.

“My number hasn’t changed.”

-/-

His number has. She gets a text around 1am. Are you up? It's odd, because Killian isn’t a booty-call kind of guy, but who knows what a breakup can do to a man.

I rarely sleep before 2. Her phone rings moments later.

“Hello?” her tone sounds like a question, but she knows it’s him.

“Swan, it’s Killian.”

“Yes, Grandpa, I’m aware.” She can’t help but chuckle. Almost too elated that he’s on the other end. She can hear him laugh on the other end.

“Do you remember the first time we started speaking on the phone? You wouldn’t give me your number until maybe the 18th date.” She didn’t trust herself then. They took things so slowly.

“You know I like a clean getaway.” Is it too soon to joke about always having one foot out the door?

“What's the escape plan this time?”

“Probably the West Coast since you chased me here”

“I did not!” His laugh is vibrating against her ribs, setting the tempo for her heart.

Could it be easy all over again? One quote and he’s calling her? One call and they go see a movie? One date and…

And thinking about the end is how she got there, isn’t it?

“Did you plan on seeing me again? Knowing you were moving here?”

“Of course. I planned on seeing you no matter where I lived...I prepared for you to come into focus and the rest of my world to blur.” He sighs and she can hear his mattress settle as he moves. “I didn’t plan on seeing you in my library again.”

“Where else would I get inspiration. You’re my muse.”

They talk til 4am. She’s rethought every word she’s said these last seven months. She rarely moves without tension tugging at the back of her neck. Her thoughts are never clear and simple, not since she left. And here, in the darkness of her bedroom, with nothing but a familiar voice on the other end, she hasn’t second-guessed a word.

-/- She’s not sure if she should call it a date. He invites her to a scholarship meeting and sure, they’re dressed up, but because it's a business meeting. He talks to the team, Belle is in attendance, and she barely says a word.

But he asks her out for drinks afterward and suddenly she’s all he’s focused on, laughing about old times, discussing the interesting twist in literature they’ve both read recently. She asks him if he’s written any songs and he beams brightly when he tells her ‘only recently, Love.’

Sometimes love is familiar, like a book you’ve read a dozen times. There’s comfort in knowing everything and loving it anyway.

-/-

“Are you dating him?” Belle watches her from the doorway as Killian moves down the hall to his meeting. They came to the office together this time, maybe a peck on the cheek occurred before his departure, and maybe Belle witnessed it.

“I don’t know.” Emma tries not to think logistically about what’s going on. It’s been 4 weeks, she’s written 8 chapters and Aly is about to find Atlas again. “For the first time since I started, I know how book 4 will end.”

They go over the recent chapters and Belle seems subtly impressed but she’s holding back. Emma knows it's Killian-related. She just knows she can’t pry without being pried open in return.

“You don’t like it?”

“No, it's beautiful. From tragedy to triumph is the Captain Zephyr way.” Belle hands the work back to Emma with a sad smile. “What makes it different this time? True love always finds its way back to one another, but how do we know they won’t split up again?” Emma knows this isn’t about the novel. They haven’t yet gotten back together to split up.

Does she know they’ll never separate again? Of course not. Killian is dedicated, devoted like a priest to the cloth. She is very aware that his heart is not yet healed, but eager to love her all over again. A few dates and late-night phone calls don’t make forever a promise anyone could keep.

“We don’t.”

-/- He’s walking her home after another fun night at a bar near her apartment. They’ve been casually seeing each other but nothing more than a kiss on the cheek or a hug goodnight has occurred. They get to her building in record time, too preoccupied by the conversation on who in Hollywood would make a handsome Captain Zeph. “Johnny Depp doesn’t have blue eyes.” Emma laughs. “You can’t just pick the most popular actors, and he’s already a pirate in another franchise.” They’re at the doors of her building and his eyes are boring into her. “Do you want to come up?”

And maybe it's because they haven’t had a real kiss in what’s very close to being a year now, but he seems almost nervous.

“I’m afraid I miss you too much.” he scratches behind his ear and looks down the road. When he looks back at her he seems shy.

“Chris Wood,” she comments. She liked him on Supergirl. “Come upstairs.”

It's the look on his face when he studies her apartment that makes her remember they broke up. As if she had forgotten months of trying to hold herself together, he reminds her that she broke him when his face floods with that loneliness.

“Killian...”

“This is a very nice place you have.” his eyes are darting from one corner to the next, lingering on the most significant differences. “So ‘New York’ it's almost as if you’ve never lived anywhere else.”

“Your apartment isn’t ‘New York?’” it's so weird that they’ve never seen each other's place when they’ve seen each other's souls.

“It’s just a place to lay my head.” He glances back at her with something almost accusatory when he says “You’ve gone ahead and made yourself a home.” And it has never felt like that, not once, when she was hiding away, when she would run home to it.

This place, this city has always been a foster home she feels like she’ll get kicked out of if she gets too comfortable. It wasn’t like their home together. Their home felt like roots. Here she feels like an implant that won’t take to the soil.

“The designer furnishings don’t mean shit to me.” Emma moves to the bookshelf, all new and shiny but it's just a box to keep what matters most. “Only what I’ve come here with is all I care to take. She pulls out a few books, “Wuthering Heights,” “The Book Thief,” and “Emma.” She hands them to him knowing they were always his.

“I wanted you to keep them.” He starts to give them back when she waves her hand.

“What do you need to not resent this place? To know I have everything you left tucked away in all these new places?” she motions for him to follow her to the bedroom and he slowly drifts behind, setting the novels on the coffee table. Her bed is covered in pillows dressed in his t-shirts instead of pillowcases. She keeps his cologne on the bedside table as if it were some expensive aromatherapy pillow spray. The blanket Granny from the local diner in Storybrooke made them lay at the foot of the bed, an anchor crocheted into the loops.

“I only drink whiskey you like. I only sleep in your t-shirts.” she sits on her bed, reaching for his hand to pull him down with her. “I don’t know what we are, and I can’t promise you I’m not a tragedy waiting to happen. I just know that I haven’t been able to erase an inch of you.”

He kisses her then. It's not on her terms, and he has only ever waited for everything to be on her terms. So when he pulls her in, hand cupping the back of her head, mouth open and adventurous, she gasps.

His other arm wraps around her waist, pulling her closer to him, her hands pressed flat against his chest as his tongue enters her mouth with desperation. She fists his shirt in her hands, pressing even closer to him as her tongue reacts in kind. It has been the longest year without him and he’s kissing her like they’re running out of time.

All at once they’re falling as he lays her down on her back, continuing to claim her mouth as his property. Her hands start moving, tugging and fumbling with buttons and zippers and just much too much fabric for her liking. When she moves for his briefs he tugs back from her lips.

“Is this what you want?” Her response is to slip her dress over her head. Any questions to follow are puffed out in a husky tone against her ear.

Sometimes love is erotica, so she catalogs every second of it because nothing has ever happened quite like this before.

-/-

They spend the next few months together and she bangs out the rest of the book in record time. Regina and Belle throw her a submission party. She dodges questions about their future and tries to focus on the book.

“So Aly and Atlas together again,” Robin questions her as Killian returns with a drink for the both of them. She knows he’s not talking about the story. Killian has been very careful to not assume much about their status. Both of them have just stuck to ‘seeing where it goes.’

But it's not like they just met six months ago. They have history, they have four years of standing together at parties and being a couple. Do they have the luxury of casually dating? If all happiness is fleeting, do they dive face-first in it or wade in the shallow end.

“I love Killian.” She says firmly. It’s never not been true from the moment she realized it, in a foreign library miles and miles away from home. He is not easily erased, and it has become glaringly obvious it will only destroy her to try. “I always have and I always will.” Killian’s eyes have never been so doe-like. She’s never been so bold.

“I…” Robin’s face flushes, certainly not expecting her to speak so proudly.

“And I love Emma, if it isn’t ardently clear. She’s everything to me and I’m happy just to exist in her life.” He raises his whiskey to her and she follows suit like a gentlemen’s agreement has just been formed: To love one another without concern of what it means. As she takes a sip she realizes what everything means. He hasn’t pushed aside his dreams in the slightest this go around. He’s been focused and driven, ambitious and busy. Somehow, he’s still considering her ‘everything.’ Maybe what she thought was sacrifice all that time ago was really just love.

So they stay in love.

-/-

Another year goes by and the first film is set to release. Although Emma and Killian still pay rent at their separate apartments, they spend every night together. Sometimes it's downtown in Killian’s studio, and other nights it's in the heart of the city at Emma’s. Commitment isn’t measured by who gave what up. It has shifted to who stays. They both do, and every day they make the decision to stay, when it's 5 months since Killian has slept alone or 10 months since Emma had dinner without him. They stay together with one promise in mind. They love each other. And for as long as Love is Present, they will choose each other.

Love is History

“Art imitates Life right?” Belle closes the folder encasing a rough draft of her first few chapters.

“All good things come to an end.” Emma shrugs as if the concept of him being just a ‘good’ thing ending doesn’t devastate her. He was the best thing.

She thought she’d never write their break up.

“You read book 3: “Wind’s Ally”” Emma leans back in her chair, studying Belle right back. “You know their history.”

-/-

The sun is setting over the Manhattan skyline when she gets back to her apartment. She doesn’t know where she went after the meeting but her mind just got back to the present and she’s pissed.

“Wouldn’t we all like to know?”

-/-

Congratulations, Emma, you saved him...from ever having to care about you again.

-/-

She thinks of his face.

Three hours pass and all she has in a google doc is ‘why?’

-/-

Despite the first failure to launch, she finds she quite likes that library. She’s giving herself a pep talk this time, before she finds herself staring at a blank screen wondering why again.

The sound of the empire striking back stirs her from her thoughts. Regina gets the Darth Vader theme as a ringtone so Emma never forgets who really owns her career.

“Hey,” Emma answers as she reaches her apartment door.

“Right” she sighs. “What’s my money bringing me today?”

“There’s a point here.” Emma urges, feeling ill-fated all of a sudden.

“When?” She whispers.

“Which library?” because Fate is a nosy bitch and has no business showing up and guiding her to the man she ran from.

“Emma?”

“Which library”

“I think...if I recall correctly, his home base is in Harlem.”

“I’ll call you back.”

-/-

Her body had other ideas, because although she definitely meant to get on a train going the opposite direction, she found herself in Harlem 25 minutes later.

She sits in the middle of the library at an open table, clickity clacking as loudly as she can. Part of her really believes that maybe if she saw him, she’d remember why she left.

Another part is certain that masochism is her new favorite hobby.

He never appears.

-/-

“Hey” Emma answers her phone going off for the eighth time today.

“Emma?” Belle sounds more relieved than usual. “Where have you been, I’ve been calling non-stop since 3.” Emma rolls her neck to view the time on the DVR.

7:45 pm

“We had a meeting at 2:30.”

“Sorry.” She shrugs, because honestly, nothing even matters.

“I’m coming over,” Belle says decidedly.

“No, Belle, you don’t have to do that.” Emma regrets answering on the eighth attempt. “Let’s reschedule.”

“Are you okay?” She sets the pizza on the kitchen island and wraps Emma in a hug. Emma tries to pull her head far enough to keep her hair from wetting Belle.

“No, he didn’t.” She’s quick to dismiss. She scoured her missed calls for days looking for his name, he never called.

“How would you know, you never answer your phone, Emma.” She sits on a counter stool, tugging Emma to join her. “He’s going to be in every day next week, and I think…”

“No.” Emma cuts her off.

“Did he say anything else about me?” she hates the desperation gnawing at her.

“He asked me why…” Belle sighs “I told him we’ll all find out in book four.”

-/-

The office seems busier than it has ever been, many new, young faces bustling about. She keeps her features calm as she scans every inch of every room she enters for him.

“Emma?” Belle is hurried as she crosses the main floor to meet her. “What are you doing here?”

“I know.” Emma returns the hushed tone Belle is using. “I reworked some chapters, delayed the breakup, and gave more of Aly’s history.” and Belle nods, but is evidently not listening.

“He’s here.” Belle looks almost frightened. “So if you want to reconsider, I would do it now. Otherwise…”

“Killian.” She swallows. Her throat makes this awkward gurgling sound and she wants to melt into the floor. Why is she here?

“How are you?” She asks without thought. The look on his face is devastating.

“Sorry?” He mocks a laugh. “How am I?”

She’s not completely delusional. This is a thing humans say to one another, no? Why does it feel so foreign all at once, like she’s attempting English for the first time with a local?

“Killian” she sighs, releasing the most dizzying breath.

“I’m good” he grits, suddenly covered in constrained anger. “And you?”

And now they are strangers, all dressed up and nothing to talk about.

“Me?” Her tongue drags along her lower lip to buy time. “Good.” She nods.

“I’m just pleased everyone is good.” Belle smiles sweetly. “Now, Killian and I have a brief meeting, and afterward, if you’re still available, we can go over your rewrite.”

An exit strategy. This is quite possibly the only thing she could have hoped for.

She was always a fence, holding him back from the best parts of himself.

-/-

When the meeting concludes, Belle graciously thanks Killian for coming, makes promises of action, and attempts to say goodbye.

Killian, as good-natured and kind as he can be, has always had a persistently obnoxious side. He invites himself to the next meeting.

“This is only fair, Swan.” he smiles, though his eyes are full of darkness.

They regroup in Belle’s office after a bathroom break.

As much as Emma is dying on the inside, Belle looks absolutely disturbed by this. She can’t imagine the discomfort in being the third wheel of a breakup reunion.

“More of a what?” Killian’s breath is sharp as it floods in through his nose and out through his mouth. “What did she do to him?”

She’s not sure if it’s understanding she expects, or maybe gratitude, for saving him from the needy monster that she is. She knows neither is what she received.

“Did you ask Atlas, perhaps… perhaps that’s what made him happiest?” Killian’s eyes are drilling into her like nails, pinning her against a wall.

She is less.

Speechless, motionless, hopeless…

Less sure she did the right thing. Less firm on her decision. Just so much less than she was the day before.

There’s movement after a long pause, not by her, but Belle, gently setting the files down and moving to leave them alone.

“So you got yourself off the couch now.” Killian stands, eyes frantically scanning Emma from head to toe. “Well done, it only took the motivation of ending a relationship to do it.”

“I did it for you.” and she believes that, with everything in her, she left for his own good.

And all at once in the middle of the ocean, she can see Aly waking up all alone in the captain’s quarters, searching the whole damn ship for a man who did what the men she loves always do.

“I would have died miserable.”

-/-

The history she’s writing is hers and hers alone. When she was younger, when her heart was stolen and broken, when she always ended up alone. She was writing an escape plan.

She definitely does not want a husband though, or to be barefoot and pregnant, or…

Hold yourself together Emma, that’s always been your role.

Finally, an email came in.

Emma,

I’ve moved out. Everything I’ve left is yours…among the worn t-shirts you liked to sleep in and the novels we’ve collected over the years is my heart.

Goodbye Love.

“Emma,” Belle brings her back to the present after a very long, painful trip into her past. “Are you okay?”

Why is that word even used to describe how ‘good’ something or someone is?

“And that’s how it ends?” Belle hands her the folder back. “You can do better.”

-/-

“The concept of fiction isn’t a lack of reality, it just hasn’t happened exactly that way yet.”

“Don’t be afraid to use your own daily vernacular. It’s just as likely as any well-researched, powered by thesaurus dialogue, but it will come to you much more easily. That’s your voice.”

“Hi” she breathes. “Uhm…”

“Do you want to meet my junior author group?” He cuts in quickly.

“Hi.” She repeats, only this time her eyes travel across the young faces. “I’m Emma.”

“That I do.” Emma feigns a smile.

“Emma Swan” Killian begins, chest swelling “came up with the idea in a small town library.”

“Really?” another girl with wavy blonde hair tumbling around her shoulders asks.

Being alone again is terrifying. She doesn’t know what she’s doing here. Why does she always go looking for him? What does she want? How can they come out of this okay? What is okay?

“I was just looking for inspiration.” He nods.

“There are study rooms.” He adds, motioning in the direction she may find them. “My office is actually at a different location, or I’d…suggest…”

“Do you hate me?” it comes out without warning.

“No.” He winces. She’s not sure if it’s because he’s lying or because he wishes he were lying.

“Why not?” She asks. He flinches.

This voice within her tells her that it's no man’s job to do the work for her. Her walls are her own to remove.

He laughs, loudly.

She’s startled more that she laughs in return than questions it.

“You’re not troubled” she shakes her head but thinks back to every time he came home frustrated and sealed himself up before she could get a good glimpse of it. “Are you?”

And she sees the orphan in him the moment she realizes being left behind were his worst fears, too.

“You thought I’d leave…”

She considers the part about him looking forward to her book.

She doesn’t have a response and the seconds tick by. It only takes a few before they reach an awkward silence where one person makes an excuse to leave. And then when do they see each other again?

He’s the quick thinker. Always a come-back, a pun, a literary quote…

“The only thing worse than a boy who hates you…” She opens her laptop nonchalantly, as if it won’t wound her for him to leave. “...a boy who loves you.”

Among the many novels they shared, “The Book Thief” was one of Killian’s most treasured.

He stares at her with wonder glazing his face. “If only she could be so oblivious again, to feel such love without knowing it, mistaking it for laughter.”

Maybe she’d burn every book in this library, for a chance to experience falling in love with Killian all over again, as if it weren’t a moment in history.

“My number hasn’t changed.”

-/-

His number has. She gets a text around 1am.

Are you up?

It's odd, because Killian isn’t a booty-call kind of guy, but who knows what a breakup can do to a man.

I rarely sleep before 2. Her phone rings moments later.

“Hello?” her tone sounds like a question, but she knows it’s him.

“Swan, it’s Killian.”

“Yes, Grandpa, I’m aware.” She can’t help but chuckle. Almost too elated that he’s on the other end. She can hear him laugh on the other end.

“Do you remember the first time we started speaking on the phone? You wouldn’t give me your number until maybe the 18th date.” She didn’t trust herself then. They took things so slowly.

“You know I like a clean getaway.” Is it too soon to joke about always having one foot out the door?

“What's the escape plan this time?”

“Probably the West Coast since you chased me here”

“I did not!” His laugh is vibrating against her ribs, setting the tempo for her heart.

Could it be easy all over again? One quote and he’s calling her? One call and they go see a movie? One date and…

And thinking about the end is how she got there, isn’t it?

“Did you plan on seeing me again? Knowing you were moving here?”

“Where else would I get inspiration. You’re my muse.”

-/-

She’s not sure if she should call it a date. He invites her to a scholarship meeting and sure, they’re dressed up, but because it's a business meeting. He talks to the team, Belle is in attendance, and she barely says a word.

Sometimes love is familiar, like a book you’ve read a dozen times. There’s comfort in knowing everything and loving it anyway.

-/-

They go over the recent chapters and Belle seems subtly impressed but she’s holding back. Emma knows it's Killian-related. She just knows she can’t pry without being pried open in return.

“You don’t like it?”

“We don’t.”

-/-

He’s walking her home after another fun night at a bar near her apartment. They’ve been casually seeing each other but nothing more than a kiss on the cheek or a hug goodnight has occurred. They get to her building in record time, too preoccupied by the conversation on who in Hollywood would make a handsome Captain Zeph.

“Johnny Depp doesn’t have blue eyes.” Emma laughs. “You can’t just pick the most popular actors, and he’s already a pirate in another franchise.” They’re at the doors of her building and his eyes are boring into her. “Do you want to come up?”

And maybe it's because they haven’t had a real kiss in what’s very close to being a year now, but he seems almost nervous.

“I’m afraid I miss you too much.” he scratches behind his ear and looks down the road. When he looks back at her he seems shy.

“Chris Wood,” she comments. She liked him on Supergirl. “Come upstairs.”

“Killian...”

“Your apartment isn’t ‘New York?’” it's so weird that they’ve never seen each other's place when they’ve seen each other's souls.

“I wanted you to keep them.” He starts to give them back when she waves her hand.

Her bed is covered in pillows dressed in his t-shirts instead of pillowcases. She keeps his cologne on the bedside table as if it were some expensive aromatherapy pillow spray. The blanket Granny from the local diner in Storybrooke made them lay at the foot of the bed, an anchor crocheted into the loops.

“Is this what you want?” Her response is to slip her dress over her head. Any questions to follow are puffed out in a husky tone against her ear.

Sometimes love is erotica, so she catalogs every second of it because nothing has ever happened quite like this before.

-/-

“I…” Robin’s face flushes, certainly not expecting her to speak so proudly.

So they stay in love.

-/-

#kenya writes #cs ff #captain swan fanfic #captain swan fanfiction #one shot #love is fiction #love is history #honestly #i forgot how to tag #I forgot everything #but I really plan on writing again #and I need to put myself out there #300 notes is a lot #oh this is definitely not beta'd #I own like ALL the mistakes and you know what #this might be one big mistake

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