#but this position is over in literally 3 weeks so I better fuckin get on it

[trans-xianxian]

okay night night everybody wish me luck at work tomorrow zzzzz

#man I Do in fact love this job but capitalism sucks so much of the joy out of it #like I love working w the kids and I don't suffer every moment that I'm there but 40 hours a week is so many hours to spend working #and I am just. so tired #dreading having to find a school year job #I hate cover letters I hate interviews I hate trying to figure out while position will exploit me least #but this position is over in literally 3 weeks so I better fuckin get on it #anyway goodnight everybody have sweet dreams MWAH #ghost posts #text

[shuckinbeanz]

Three's a Charm

warnings/notes: NSFW, spoilers about one of the endings, spoilers about Sym's full name and species, spoilers about dys, dys is an embo it's a new word I made up for the emo himbo, just started finkin bout Dys n triplets with reader so here's some hcs and snippets. this turned into an very long simp-fest somewhere along lmao so lots of very kinky snu-snu, bits about Sym being a GodGardenfather included bc he loves kids, and tidbits ab Dys being a dad :3

MINORS 👏 DNI! 👏 AGE 👏 IN 👏 BIO 👏 OR 👏 DNI! 👏 Head on over to @candybowbeansies please for my SFW pieces, or be blocked if you interact here! 😇

Tags: @dynamightsdaydream

-first things first it took a bit of convincing 

-he was wary at first bc of his mom and how would he be a good dad, out for months at a time????

-but like at the same time, he understood, ya'know??? sweet lil u, always as touch starved as he is when he returns to the colony, he always feels so bad when he leaves you behind, and believe me when I say he tried to stay. it did not go well at all, he was literally teetering overhead a mental meltdown so you had to kick him out for his own mental health.

-bbs that smell like him and resemble him would soothe you and his worry about leaving you without a piece of him 🥰

-everybody thought y'all would be one of the first parents and making more after you made that deal with the gardeners, because of how clingy of a couple you two were, literally joined by your hands and how much time you two spent alone together

-y'all lmfao I don't think you know bc of his chronic wanderlust and how he's away months at a time, but my man has high libido and saying that is a literal understatement 

-he is obsessed with you, like borderline yandere but even that's pushing it

-he melts under your touch, he's so dependent on your love

-majority of the time this escalates from cuddling to mating like animals bc like I said, high libido

-when he returns from expeditions, expect to be fucked out, every night until dawn, for a freaking week at least istg 😩

- ^^^ this is why you both got contraceptive implants, like the best ones which can be removed at any time

-he can't get enough, especially if you cling to him during sex like your life depended on him. his heart, his soul, his brain, his body, everything is on overdrive bc he so badly wants to love and be loved back with every fiber of his being, only way he knows how is fucking your brains out pls 😭😭

-man is very handsy behind closed doors, always touching and groping you like it's the very first time, and if you were the same? if he could, he'd have hearts in his eyes 

-he likely knows your body better than he knows his, so expect him to tenderly overwhelm you into squirting

-first time he made you squirt, he made it his mission to go above and beyond

-praise kink go brrr--

"Thaaaat's it, beautiful. F-Fuckin'-oh, hahh--squirt f'me, pretty baby, please?"

"Sh-Show me, sugarbug. Please, baby, show me--ooh, h-how good I make you feel."

-due to his augmentation, he's literally not afraid of anything, even pain

-so fucking overstimulate him

-he lives for your touch, so have your way with him milk him dry, it's all the same to him, long as you touch him, he's so hungry for your attention to the point of self destruction

-he's a cheeky bastard so you gotta work for it at first 

-you never thought a man could squirt until you gave in and gave him what he wanted so desperately

"Fucking--just touch me, already, I can take it, oh stars--you know I can, Y/N, please!"

" 'til 'm shootin' blanks, fuckin' stars, s-s'good!"

-his tears are God tier, like chef's kiss gorgeous

-pretty onyx hues glassy n rolling to the back of his head 🥺

-you were genuinely surprised how intense his orgasm was, n how much cum came squirtin out of him and how far the shot went omg 🥵

-don't remind him, he's still embarrassed that he passed out after that poor bb😭

-any position you can think of, you are you and he wants you for as long as possible.

-despite his initial weariness of knocking you up, he goes full throttle when it's time. it's breeding season, honey.

-when you tell him, 'daddy, plant your seed~' when he's balls deep in your cunt, all train of thought comes to a crashing wailing halt. he completely loses all rhyme or reason, everything except for breeding like a goddamn jack rabbit thrown right out the fucking window. he won't let you go until it takes.

Curses pass his lips like a mantra; he's close, again. He has you caged down in a mating press like an animal, mounted on your overworked wriggling form, his cock bullying your cervix you could almost swear was starting to bruise. You've creamed and been creamed so many times, you've completely lost count. You can only squeal for his baby juice and claw at him the nth time he empties his load and uselessly kick your legs in the air as the sheer weight of his cock sends you over the edge yet again, your cock-drunk babbles only spurring him on.

Your husband was obsessed with you…and it turns out he's hidden a huge breeding kink without either of you knowing about it.

He won't let you go, oh stars, no-he has stamina for days. Not until he either starts shootin' blanks, or passes out. It's highly likely the latter.

You want that baby, right, sugarbug? Keep clinging to him like your life depends on it. Vertumna, just keep begging for his seed, it sends him over the edge every damn time. Never fuckin' fails.

-and oh boy, does it ever take. his sperm count is on the high side and he's a very healthy specimen, and you don't find this out until a few weeks along in your pregnancy

Symbiosis was incredibly taken by your pregnancy. He was a very close friend, always there to help you with your morning sickness among just about every other thing, and a huge cuddle buddy when your hormones started going out of whack. You were hot, then you were cold, both in the physical and emotional sense, and Sym was just the right temperature and ever-patient. It was cute, really, how awestruck he was by your growing belly.

He was incredibly supportive, easily sliding into the position of God-or Gardenfather, rather-of the life inside you quite perfectly, even more so after Dysthymia left a month after the news of success, succumbing to his innate wanderlust.

It wasn't until Sym asked, one day, if you were supposed to grow this fast. The colony had yet to see a pair of twins, and this being your first pregnancy, fear and worry for the worst settled into your bones, and a visit to med bay later, you found you were having not twins…

But healthy triplets, courtesy of your husband's fecundity.

Sym was excited, and that was an understatement. One of the two humans he loved dearly carried not one, not two, but three precious offspring. One of the many reasons he'd put his very existence on the line for, to see your lovely species proliferate. You and your husband proved not so long ago to him, his trust in you was not mistaken; it was well appreciated. 

It was about one week later when Dys returned, to see you as heavy as he remembers Tammy, when she was later along, and if he didn't lose track of time, you were nearing the end of your first trimester, and just moving onto your second.

You were curled up right beside Sym, completely conked out with evidence of crying on your face, tissues and snacks long abandoned in favor of much needed sleep. The alien was wide awake, hand still in the rhythm of comforting strokes along your back. 

It's juvenile of him, he knows, but Dys feels a spark of jealousy briefly ignite in him, seeing you so comfortable in someone else's arms. It's quickly overridden by wonder, however, when he sees just how pregnant you are as he approaches quietly. 

The familiar earthy musk that wafts into the room has your nose doing a bunny twitch. Your pregnancy has heightened some of your senses, if not all; your sense of smell being one of them. In your waking moments, he glances to Sym questioningly. How in Vertumna did you get this big? Was he gone that long??

In turn, the Gardener gave a cryptic smile as you outstretched your arm, drowsily latching onto your husband, almost instinctively. You knew his scent by heart. "Dyyyyys…" you croaked hoarsely. 

"Hello, beautiful." he greets you with a smile, and you only hum contentedly. Sym, out of habit, helps guide your form towards Dys-something he'd picked up from being by your side from the moment he learned you were carrying.

"Whoa, there, I just got home." he starts as you awkwardly koala hug him and attempt to bring him back down with you, "I need to shower, babe." propping himself up, mindful of your belly. You scrunch your face before sleepily crooning an "I don't caaaare…"

"Well, I do. It'll give you a moment to wake up, and when I'm done, I can tell you what happened out there after you tell me what happened here, okay?" he tells you, leaning down to plant a sweet kiss on you, which you return after a brief few moments. 

"Okay?" he repeats softly against your lips, and you hum in reply, finally letting him go with a soft, happy "Welcome home."

-when he learns he planted triplets in you, he will go through so many emotions at once. there's the masculine thrill of he's knocked up his sweet obsession so heavily and the possessive pride that you're carrying his kids, plus the worry what if something goes wrong, especially if he's away??? stars, beautiful! everything is very overwhelming, especially the fact your growing tummy does things to him

-you thought he was handsy before? you are in for a surprise, especially when he feels them move/kick/punch for the first time

-pregnancy sex

-please for the love of Vertumna don't deprive him of lovin'! getting you off is his love language

-if he wasn't fascinated with your tits before oh boy he is now

-watching your tits plump up with milk he's mesmerized

-he learns very quickly your nipples are uber sensitive so he pays very special attention to them

-when you're full and sore and leaking go to him, he's so skilled with his hands he will make you cum from your tits alone he's got a lactation kink but he won't admit it 

Your chest heaves as you pant heavily, still shivering from the aftershocks from the nipple orgasms your husband put you through, thick dribbles of milk still oozing from each one-though not as much as before, his hands having given you relief from carrying too much of the substance.

"You're so gorgeous, Y/N." you hear him praise you, as he takes your trembling legs and hoists them onto one shoulder. "Ready, beautiful? Need to give you some love here, too." he says, and a moment later you feel his heavy cock head against your pulsing entrance. 

You weakly wiggle your hips, impatient for him to fill you up already. He laughs softly, nudging against your eager hole before sliding in. You croon and he all but shudders as your gummy insides greedily pull him in; and he's happy to oblige, sinking balls deep into your pregnant cunt.

"Hhh--fuck, gimme a moment, pretty…" he huffs, his hand traveling to caress your tummy. 

-he's low-key dreading the time you pop, knowing full well how it is it's excruciating and he hates it when you're in pain outside controlled bedroom activities 

-as you're carrying the colony's first set of triplets, he's banned from med bay along with all other non-medical personal 

-anxiety

-and that's an understatement

-man will pace

-and he will get worse with every cry and wail

-paranoia 

-not even Sym can stop him when he hears the sound of your final exhausted scream followed by his third bb starting to wail with their older siblins ssob 🥺

"Let me through!" he shouts. "Dys, I don't think it's wise, man. I know how you--" "No! You don't, so don't even--" he argues with Cal defensively, grabbing his shirt. In turn, Cal's hands fly up peaceably, with a sheepish 'Now, I ain't trying to fight, dude.' which earns him a shove. "Dys, they will be okay." Sym tries to placate him.

"Don't you start, too, Sym." he meets the alien with uncharacteristic sharpness, a surge of agitation rushing through him, heart thrumming against his ribcage anxiously.

Never again. You sounded like you were in agony.

"They need me, they just gave birth to my kids, for Vertumna's sake!" he swears, pushing his way through.

No more kids, even if you wanted them. If the outcome hurts you, never again.

He was worried half to death. "I need to see if they're oh--" he opens the door, trailing off as he sees you.

Your tired, puffy red eyes lift from the triplets, one in each arm and one dozing off on your chest. You smile sweetly at him, and his pattering heart skips a beat. Calling you beautiful would be an understatement. 

Before he knows it, he's by your side, Tammy's giggles and Instance's muttering be damned. He does offer a glance to his twin. Tang simply shrugs her shoulders, nodding to you and the three you held.

The room is then emptied, leaving only him, you, and the amalgamation of your love. He kisses your sweaty temple, gazing in awe at the three wrinkly little wonders. They were smaller than he thought they'd be.

You eventually rest your eyes, smiling serenely, content with the silence. So small and fragile…he was almost afraid to touch them. Almost, but for the most part, uneasy and insecure.

He couldn't get his eyes off of them. One begins to squirm for a brief few moments, and you huff softly, looking up to him then down to the newborns, so much love in your gaze. 

Very hesitantly, he reaches out a finger to the fitful one, the other two sound asleep. The newborn latches onto his finger, turns their head with a soft grunt, and opens their eyes.

Their sweet hues were crossed, and the toothless grin that plasters into their face? It's priceless. He feels a hole in him fill right up, and tears begin to form.

What did he do to deserve such precious things? 

You've given him the greatest gifts he could ever receive, and then some.

-after he officially enters fatherhood, you will notice things change in him.

-it's gradual and these changes start off small, but they are there

-and the first one is he smiles more

-he's smitten with his triplets, always distracting himself with them when you need to sleep.

-he's in over his head at first, but with Sym's guidance from being a nanny for gaggles of kids, he soon learns the ropes

It's only been a few minutes since he's managed to put them to sleep, and he himself was especially tired. He can't help but continue watching the three infants resting on his arm, the heaviness of exhaustion becoming all the more apparent as his eyes burn for sleep. 

Sleep.

It's only been a few months since the trio was born, but he's come to realize many things. 

Each one of them, in their own ways, filled in the cracks that had formed within him throughout his life.

They, alongside you, made him feel more human. 

The moment he saw you on the medical bed holding them, he knew he was enough, just as he was. The colony wasn't a cage, but a nest-a safe place for him you've kept throughout the years, always welcoming him back with open loving arms.

The wall he built, taller and taller; it doesn't crumble into nothing. He's free to come and go, at any point. He simply chooses to stay longer. You needed him. The triplets needed him. 

The four of you always brought new discoveries, and he was eager to explore the family dynamic. 

The oldest grunts just as he's about to doze off, and he flicks on his holopalm to record from habit, onyx hues wide and wakeful, now. A few moments pass, followed by the slow stretch of tiny limbs, and…

'Da…' a soft, but unmistakable word sounds. Pure joy blooms from his heart, his free hand flying to cover his mouth. He stares at the blip that was recording him and the trio, eyes becoming damp. He slides his hand down, and whispers;

"Did you hear that, beautiful? C/N's first word…they're dreamin', baby."

-he is always prepared to document their milestones, no matter how small when he's in the colony

-know how kids usually scream for the parent who was pregnant with them?

-well

-these three scream for Daddy when they throw fits.

-it's like they have a built-in 'Dad's home!' radar, too. and this means most of their tantrums are thrown when it's time for Dys to come home. they're MENACES istg 😭

"NOOOO!!!" the most powerful set of lungs of the trio wails indignantly, Sym's placating voice drowned out into the background, the other two sobbing for their father, huddled up against their triplet.

This builds up for a few days, and they eventually break out of the creche and scamper off to the gates, demanding their dad like the people there can make him come home sooner. Once in a blue moon, he's late, and it takes a lot of work on his part to calm them down.

This usually leads to an exhausted Dysthymia completely conked out with three equally as tired kids cradled by him. And this will happen anywhere in the colony, so you always find yourself guarding their precious nap. They don't get to see each other for months at a time, after all. 🥺

#i was a teenage exocolonist #teenage exocolonist #teen exo #i was a teenage exocolonist smut #teenage exocolonist smut #teen exo smut #teen exo dys x reader #dysthymia x reader #teen exo dysthymia x reader #teen exo dys smut #teen exo dysthymia smut

[necromancer-nonbinary]

Well I guess I don't have to figure out what I'm gonna do re: my job for a bit longer coz when I get home I'm putting my little gay ass in quarantine

#😧 #frankly i wasnt even comfortable coming to my parents house even knowing none of us come into much contact w ppl #more annoyed now knowing my brother is out on routes w the emts while hes training and has come into contact w at least 1 case #but now were dropping him off w my grandparents coz his flight is out of abq #and rather than 'k one of us will drive him down meet em in cuba exchange Boy and come back' #its grandpa bob knows a place w outdoor heated seating so were having lunch!!! #which means i have to go so im gonna b in the car for 5 hours today and on a plane for 6+ tomorrow #and even better. my cousin tested positive while she was in the hospital having her kid #and she was in contact w grandma and grandpa bob recently :)) #n if i werent such a fucking pushover id have said no im not going but. oh i dont wanna cause waves :)))) #so i have to go thru 3 airports n 2 planes tomorrow w a possible exposure and i have rarely been so furious w myself #im literally already sick i have an annoying head cold that frankly im praying is just a head cold #i nabbed some extra paper masks from work before i left and im gonna grab some bandaids before i leave here #so my cloth mask will Definitely seal properly over my nose and ill have an over-layer i can swap out when i get somewhere new #but fucking. shit #i still have to eat tomorrow and lookin at my flights its gonna have to be on the den-ric plane #so gonna land and get home and while i order groceries for pickup im gonna text my manager w hey so i deffo got exposed so i wont be in #ill get tested end of the week n let u know #im still fuckin tired too its gonna take forever to make up the deficit from working nights this long

[babyboy-cody]

ch. 01 | finding out

summary: after feeling so different for the past week, you decided to go to the doctor in order to find out what was actually wrong with you. the cause of you feeling this way was something you weren’t expecting.

warnings: depictions of early signs of pregnancy, clueless grayson, mentions of sean, implications of smut, mentions of abortion

quick note: okay so this is my first ever grayson series, so hopefully i make you guys proud. some of the pregnancy signs are things that some people don’t go through, so i wanted to make it as realistic as possible. any feedback would be great! <3

word count: 2.6k

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Waking up early in the morning, you never expected to feel like shit. From the position you were laying in, your tender breasts were pressed into the bed, causing you the slightest pain. You groaned and winced as you went to turn. Just from moving, you felt nauseous and dizzy, the blinding light from the sun pouring into the room caused you to squint. Grayson wasn’t in bed beside you as usual. He always woke up at the ass crack of dawn to start his morning routines of breakfast, exercising for two hours, and shower. The rest of his day is spent doing activities, such as woodworking/building, spending time with you, long-boarding, or exercising some more.

A wave of cramps suddenly hit you, causing you to muffle your long moan into your pillow. You tucked your body into the fetal position, tucking your hand under your sweatpants to press down on your lower stomach, hoping that the pressure would ease the aggravating pain. For the past week, you’ve been constantly getting cramps. The breast tenderness happened only a day later. Premature cramps are the usual sign of starting your period. What confuses you is why you woke up with no blood staining your underwear or pants.

Sluggishly grabbing your phone from under your pillow, you opened up your usual period app. The last time you had gotten your period was exactly the same day as last month. Your eyebrows furrow when you see that you should’ve started your period exactly two weeks ago. You hastily sit up, immediately shutting your eyes as a wave of nausea hit you like a tsunami. There was brief commotion coming from the kitchen, followed by Grayson yelling, “Ethaaannn!” You faintly heard Ethan’s boisterous laugh, which only amped up his younger brother’s annoyance.

You swallowed the forming saliva at the back of your mouth. You suddenly felt so exhausted, even though you had a whole ten hour rests with no interruptions or disruptions. Swinging your legs to the side of the bed, you slowly got up, shutting your eyes to avoid feeling dizzy so fast. You desperately craved Grayson’s warm skin against yours in order to make you feel better, especially when his strong arms were wrapped around you, holding you nice and tight against him. As though the universe heard your thoughts, Grayson enters the bedroom, a comfy hoodie adorning his upper body as gray sweats adorn his lower half. He looks so comfy and warm and soft with his messy hair and growing bed and bright smile.

“Look who’s finally awake!” He announced and spread his arms wide, running over to playfully (and gently) tackle you into the bed.

“Gray, Gray, baby, be gentle,” you quickly told him, hands grabbing onto his arm as the room suddenly spun. “I’m not feeling too good today.”

He immediately sat up, using one hand to push his long hair from his face as the other slowly sits you up. His eyes were full of worry as they scan you up and down. You smiled tiredly and gently stroked his jaw, loving the feeling of his scruff on your palm.

“What’ve you been feeling?” He was quick to ask you, desperately wanting to know why you’ve been feeling sick and what could’ve caused it. “Do you think it’s cause E was sick last week?”

“I mean, maybe,” you shrugged. “I’ve been getting cramps and my boobs have been hurting as usual before I get my period.”

“So you’re starting you’re period?” He questioned, thinking that could be the reason.

“I don’t think so, babe. I’m getting symptoms I’ve never gotten before and it’s worrying me,” you quietly told him, your voice holding such worry that he’s never heard before. “I’m so exhausted and dizzy and I can’t even stand without feeling like I’m gonna pass out.” You rubbed your hands over your face, groaning at the uncomfortable churning in your stomach as you suddenly thought about eating. “I can’t even think about food without feeling like I’m gonna throw up everywhere.”

“Baby, you need to make an appointment for the doctor or the GYN to see what’s going on. You don’t know if this could be something serious,” Grayson anxiously tells you, his large hands cupping your cheeks to make eye contact with you, his thumbs lightly stroking your warm skin back and forth.

“I will,” you held onto his wrists. “I promise.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

After your serious talk with Grayson yesterday, you made an appointment to go to the gynecologist the very next day. Nerves were bubbling in the pit of your stomach, causing you to use the bathroom four times in the past hour. Ethan and Kristina were worried as well, unsure of what to do or say to make you feel at ease and less anxious. If what’s causing your sickness something terminal, they knew that Grayson would quite literally go insane. You were his person. Grayson was a believer of soulmates, and he knew deep in his heart and soul that you were his.

This morning, it was eerily quite. The air was awkward and tense with no one knowing how to break the ice. Grayson’s jaw was clenched and he watched your every move carefully. You were feeling a little better, only eating in small quantities and being forced to drink lots of water (by Grayson). Your appointment wasn’t until 2 in the afternoon, so you had plenty of time to do your morning routine and talk to Grayson. He insisted on staying in the bathroom when you shower and do your skin care.

“Gray, I’m not dying,” you joked lightly.

“Don’t fucking joke like that!” He raised his voice, glaring up at you as he sat on the edge of the top, elbows on his knees with his fingers interlocked. “That’s not fucking funny.” There was anger in his tone, and you realized how insensitive it was of you.

You knelt down in front of him, unlocked his hands and slithering more between his spread knees. He doesn’t look at you as he looks down at the ground between your own knees. “Hey,” you whisper, hands on his broad shoulders, lightly shaking them. “Look at me, please.” When he does, you see the slightest of tears along his waterline. Your heart breaks when his face scrunches up in agony and his eyes shut, his hands immediately covering his face to press the heels of his palms into his eyes. “Grayson…”

He sniffles into his hands, shaking his head frantically. “I can’t lose you,” he weeped so softly, his voice muffled behind the barrier of his hands. “I can’t fuckin’ lose you the same way I lost my dad. I-I just can’t.” You let him pour out his emotions, all the while holding onto his shoulders and gently pushing his hands away from his face to wipe away his warm tears. The area around his eyes and cheeks were tinged red, his beautiful eyes now turning puffy. “You don’t understand h-how broken I’d be without you, Y/N. It’s like… a piece of me might die.”

“Baby,” you whispered brokenly, shaking your head as you hurriedly pull him into your chest. His head buries itself in the crook of your neck. “I am so so sorry for making that joke, alright? Hey, look at me.” You lift his head up, wiping more of his tears with your thumbs. “I promise you, from the bottom of my heart, that everything is okay.” At the sound of your soft whisper, he lets out a quiet and shaky sigh. The thought of now hearing your voice anymore physically hurts his heart. He hesitatingly nods, desperately wanting to believe your words. But looking into your eyes this very moment, seeing the determination and confidence in your face, he has no other choice but to believe you.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

Sitting on the exam table in the cold room that slightly smells of hand sanitizer and wood, you didn’t know what else to think. Your thoughts were a jumbled mess as they tried to unravel itself to form a coherent sentence in your head. Grayson wanted to come in with you, but you had told him to stay in the car, out of fear of him hearing dreadful news. You closed your eyes and breathed in and out deeply, trying to calm the storm that’s beginning to make itself known. What you didn’t hearing was the door opening and the OB-GYN, Dr. Khaleesi, stepping in. She was a lovely Indian woman who was older than you by 20 years. You’ve been coming to her for a year and a half now for your usual STD checkups or any worries you had with your uterus. She was the sweetest woman you’ve come to known and you never felt judged by her.

“Everything alright, Y/N?” She asks as she shuts the door, leaving you both in privacy. She holds the clipboard to her side and sits onto the rolling stool to slide herself closer to you.

“Just nervous,” you laughed awkwardly.

“Well, it’s just me,” she tells you softly, her accent sounding so elegant as she gently pats your knee. “Now, it says on the appointment form that you’re hear for a checkup regarding your period.”

“Yes, um, I’m late on my period - about two weeks now. But I’ve been feeling a lot of cramps and breast tenderness and all the symptoms of starting my period. And I don’t know why,” you sighed and picked at your nails, not sure how to keep still.

“Alright, well, I’m going to be asking you a few simple questions and I want you to answer as honestly as possible,” Dr. Khaleesi tells you. “What day was your last period?”

“The 6th of May.”

“How long does menstrual cycle typically last?”

“Six to seven days, give or take.”

“And are you sexually active?”

You blushed as you thought about Grayson. You hadn’t forgotten the romantic picnic dinner he had set up in the backyard with a large projector hung up. Sitting there under the stars with him, being in such a close proximity to that man always made you feel so nervous. But having his hands on you, his lips on yours, his large and muscular body between your thighs, it made it all worth it. You most certainly didn’t forget how many times he made you orgasm in under an hour. You were thankful that Ethan and Kristina had gone to their own date night for a few hours.

“Y/N?” Dr. Khaleesi’s voice broke you free from your thoughts, causing you to clear your throat out of embarrassment.

“Y-Yes, I’m sexually active,” you softly responded.

Dr. Khaleesi nods and checks off the small YES box beside the question. “And how often do you engage in sexual intercourse?”

“Um, about three to four times a week.” You suddenly burst out into laughter at the surprised look on her face. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” she laughs as well. “At least one of us is getting some action, huh?” She laughs again when you cover your face, muffling your small groan. “Back to the questions. When was the last time you were sexually active?”

“I’d say last week, but I’ve been feeling these symptoms for the past two weeks now,” you hesitatingly told her, secretly not wanting to know the cause in order to avoid the dread and heartbreak if something was terminal.

“And what symptoms have you been having?” She asked you, now looking at your expression rather than the clipboard in her hands.

“Um,” you looked up in thought, “Nausea, cramps, breast tenderness, sudden feeling of exhaustion, loss of appetite, and I’ve been peeing a lot more.”

Dr. Khaleesi nods silently, her sudden silence makes you feel incredibly uneasy. You swallow down and exhale a shaky and audible sigh. She gives you a reassuring smile. “Do you mind if I exam your stomach?”

“N-No,” you quietly said and laid back on the cushioned exam table. “Go ahead, please.”

And after hearing your consent, Dr. Khaleesi pulled on some blue latex gloves and hovers her hands over your stomach. You pull up your shirt and pull the cracked skin of your bottom lip with your teeth. She gently presses down in different areas of your stomach, periodically asking, “Does this cause any pain? Discomfort?” And each time, you shook your head. As she was getting to the end of the exam, you went over every single possibility. What if it’s a tumor? What if you’re pregnant? Could it be cancer? Is it internal bleeding? Somehow, you couldn’t find a reason for each possibility to happen. You had no family members with a history of chronic illnesses. And you and Grayson always used protection, never birth control because of the harmful effects to your body. When Dr. Khaleesi was finished with the brief exam, she sighs softly and lays a hand on your shoulder.

“I know why you’re feeling like this, Y/N. And before I tell you, I want you to know that I am here if you ever need advice on how to do this, okay?” She tells you in a reassuring and motherly tone.

“Just tell me,” you whispered, voice cracking as you strong to keep a strong front. But with every second, it slowly disappeared, revealing a vulnerable and terrified woman in front of the doctor. “Please…”

Dr. Khaleesi sighed quietly and licked her red lipstick stained lips. “You’re… pregnant. Presumably one month pregnant.”

If you were standing, you were sure you would’ve dropped to your knees. Your mouth dropped open, trying desperately to form words, but all that came out was a weak squeak. Tears lined your waterline as you shook your head in disbelief.

“N-No, that’s… that’s fucking impossible,” you frantically said, shaking your head even more as you hastily stood up and walked over to the other side of the room. Your hands went to your hair as you paced back and forth. “Oh my God, oh my God, oh my, God,” you whispered to yourself, muffling a sob with the back of your hand. “I.. he’s been talking ab-about having kids for-for so long and…” your voice shook between every word. “We’re both so young!”

“We have options, Y/N,” Dr. Khaleesi gently told you as to not scare you if she rose her voice to speak over yours. “There’s abortion-”

“No!” You shouted. “That… That is out of the question. I-I need to talk to him. I need to see where his head is at first, and-and then I can talk to you about… options,” you whispered the last word. You are pro-choice, but you know deep in your heart that you couldn’t terminate this pregnancy. If Grayson thought the opposite, you’re not sure what would happen next.

“Would you like me to schedule your next appointment in one week?” Dr. Khaleesi quietly asks you as she notices the mental battle you’re currently having. “That way you have plenty of time to discuss what you both think, okay?”

You hesitatingly nod and look over at her with an expression that nearly broke her gentle heart. “I-I’m scared, Daksha.”

At the sound of her name exiting your lips, she immediately crosses over and pulls you into a hug. She understands that this may be unprofessional to her bosses and what other patients may see as inappropriate, but she would never let a terrified woman feel alone.

“You are going to be okay, child,” she tells you quietly, one hand wrapped around your shoulders as the other lightly pats the back of your head. “Whatever you decide, I will help you along the way, okay? Do not forget that.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

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@etherealdols @certainaesthetic

#grayson dolan x reader #grayson dolan

[whenimaunicorn]

Playing House - Part 13.1

Summary: Ivar clarifies your role, and Hvitserk reaps all the benefits. Words: 2588 Notes: Content Warnings for bondage (possibly uncomfortable), BDSM humiliation and dirty talk, orgasm control, roleplayed dub/noncon (now that the relationships are established I’m going to remind you less often that they’ve already negotiated consent and safety measures).

Previous posts:  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18

(Fic begins below the cut because it starts off with a bang, baby)

In your current predicament, the world has narrowed down to two things. The vulnerability of your body, and the total neediness of your cunt.

The two are most certainly related. Ivar is not one to make idle threats. When he told you over the phone that he believed you deserved punishment . . . it seems that he had immediately started making plans.

You’re alone, now, helpless on your own bed. Of course, it’s Hvitserk’s bed, this week. Ivar has bound your wrists to your ankles, and pointed you with your spread legs aimed right at the door. The open door.

What a sight Hvitserk is going to see when he walks in.

“You know you deserve this,” Ivar had said, trussing you up with methodical fingers. The way that he took your clothes from you, you’re not sure you’re going to get them back until Hvitserk’s no longer in town. “You had freedom, and you wasted it. Now you have to understand that you are here for our pleasure. Not the other way around. This pussy,” he said, giving it a sudden rub followed by a quick slap, “is here for our use. So . . . I’m not letting you use anything else for a little while.”

Your hands are tied to the insides of your ankles. You can try closing your legs, but your thighs won’t come quite back together with your arms bound right there in the way. Lying on your back as you are, the slit of your swollen pussy lips would still be visible between your raised legs to anyone standing in the doorway anyway. So why bother.

He had assured you that he would make sure Hvitserk “stumbled in” fairly soon, before you got too stiff in this humiliating pose. But you’re sure he’s going to stretch out the suspense as long as he thinks you can handle it.

You rock your body anyway, fruitlessly seeking just a little relief. After opening you up, Ivar had carefully applied a liberal helping of lube all over your pussy, inside and out. “I want you wet and ready for him.” A bullet vibrator came next, positioned carefully on top of your clit by a small shibari harness wrapped around your upper thighs and waist. “I am not turning this up high enough to make you come,” he said, matter-of-factly. “You are not to come until your punishment is over. This is here merely to keep you focused.”

And fuck, are you focused. You’re cursing yourself for allowing Ivar to learn your body so well, to know just exactly how high he can turn up the vibration without pushing you over the edge. And the pattern, fuck, that pulsing, wavelike rrrm, Rrrm, RRRM is damned hypnotic. You can’t possibly ignore it. And yet you want to sob every time the wave crests too soon, the intensity dropping well before the tension building between your thighs has anywhere to go.

An even more powerful thrill rushes through your body as you hear movement at the door. Lifting your head from the mattress, you see Hvitserk’s eyes widen, his steps arrested on his way into the room. He does a doubletake before his brain can fully process the obscenity he’s truly seeing in front of him. He glances back down the hallway, then slides inside and shuts the door with a shark’s smile spreading across his face.

“You seem to be kind of stuck, Y/N.” His eyes roam over the backs of your thighs, and what’s on display in between. There’s no way not to feel completely, horribly exposed to him. It’s so hot you’re probably about to start dripping all over the sheets. “Can I help you?”

You look him right in the eyes. “I need to be fucked.”

“Oh yeah?” he asks, settling down on his knees beside the bed, definitely not lining up to drive himself into you like you so desperately need.

“Yeah.” You nod, quickly. “I need it bad.”

You arc and whine when Hviterk’s fingers slide around your opening, gliding between your outer and inner lips. “You’re wet enough for me to believe you.” The pads of his fingers dip inside, but only shallowly, stretching the rim of your opening in a wide swirl.

“Fuck,” you sob. That’s a lot of entirely unsatisfying stimulation right there. You need to feel filled up, not stretched out. “Please, Hvitserk. I’m here for your use, so use me, fuck me, put me out of my misery.” You have crane your neck to make eye contact with him, looking down the line of your body and between your own legs.

His eyes are dark as he stares at your naked and readied body, which shudders with the strength of your need. His eyes flit up to the ropes that bind each ankle to a wrist. “Ivar did this?”

“Yes.”

His fingers slide along the thinner cord tying the vibrator down onto your clit.

“He said it’s my lesson. I need you to fuck me until I learn.” Having to explain this to Hvitserk somehow makes your predicament all the hotter.

Hvitserk moves in closer, until you can see his face between your ankles and don’t have to contort your neck so badly anymore. “That’s what Ivar wants.” His softly scratchy voice adds weight and intimacy to his words. “But what do you want?”

His fingers are still just teasing, up and down and around your entrance. He hasn’t even taken his dick out. “Fuck! Did he send you in here to test me or something?” You’re starting to feel desperate. “This isn’t about obedience, Hvitserk. I need to be used. I want it this way. I-I just want you to fuck me like a toy.”

“That’s it?” he asks, a wicked gleam flashing through his deep-set eyes. “All this” he gestures at your body “is just here for me to play with?”

“Uh huh.”

He grins and nips at your inner thighs, and finally presses two of those long fingers into your pussy.

You throw your head back and keen your pleasure.

He toys with you, for a while. The relief of friction, of satisfying depth and pressure, starts to give way to fear that he might accidentally push you into orgasm before Ivar had permitted it. That hadn’t sounded like it would be such a hard rule to follow, when you thought that Hvitserk was going to come in here like the horny bro he’d been acting like before, and just sink his eager cock straight into you.

But even when there’s no contest to be won, Hvitserk evidently loves getting up close and personal with the pussy. He pulls his fingers out just to bring them to his lips, plunging them into his own mouth to taste you with a little savoring sound as he locks a promising look onto your eyes.

He’s not done. Hvitserk’s fingers slide under the ropes that bind the vibrator against your clit, then he’s pushing them out of his way and removing it.

You sigh, relieved to be free of the temptation and missing it immediately at the same time.

But then Hvitserk’s mouth replaces the device. And this is not just a taste. This is business, the same masterful pace and pressure that won him the contest earlier.

“No . . .” you wail at him, drowning under your own conflicting needs. “No, Hvitserk, Ivar said not to.”

He lifts his head just barely far enough to answer you, so that you can feel his breath against your slick and sensitive parts with every word. “I’m supposed to use you how I want, right? And what I want to do is eat this pussy like a birthday cake.”

“You can’t,” you insist. “I’m not allowed to come!”

He barely hesitates. “But I want you to,” he says, voice breathy and urgent. And he begins another round of his very best work.

There’s not really any other type of ordeal quite like this one. Pleasure blooms, white-hot and urgent, beneath Hvitserk’s tongue, and you can do nothing but grit your teeth and try to push it back. You could use your safeword if this was truly bothering you, Ivar had told you that Hvitserk was informed how that works. But this is a challenge you prefer to ride out, come what may.

You know Ivar well enough to be sure that he’s monitoring this, although you don’t see him darkening the doorway this time when you strain your neck to look. Perhaps he’s waiting just outside the door. Or hell, maybe the walls just are as thin as the boys keep saying. Either way, it makes you want to do him proud. Show him you can endure even this absolutely torturous pleasure, and follow his command despite it.

You manage to hold out, though internally you’re screaming. Your body is clenched in a line of sheer, stubborn tenacity against that insistent rapture when Hvitserk finally gives up, swiping his face with the back of his arm as he stands up. “Fine. Is this what you want?” He pulls out his dick, proud and rock-solid with a bit of a graceful curve toward the tip. He gives himself a crude stroke. “On to the main course, then.”

You sob your victorious agreement.

He grabs a rubber. Ivar had literally left a bowl of condoms right next to you, on top of a guest towel. It doesn’t get much more demeaning than that.

Hvitserk whips his shirt off and then leans over you, ready cock bobbing, and grasps one of your swaying feet in each hand. “This is so fuckin’ hot,” he intones, staring at the ropes. “Can you handle it if I leave you like this while we fuck?”

You let out a shaky breath and agree. You’ll stretch out later. This is, just as Hvitserk said, too fuckin’ hot.

The angle has your hips turned up rather sharply. He misses on his first attempt to enter you, cock slipping off your lubricated lips. He mutters an obscenity and then laughs it off, reaching down to line himself up better with an endearingly self-deprecating smirk.

It’s fun to watch him handle himself. You can’t do much to help the process, your body positioned precisely how Ivar wanted you left, with very little wiggle room. A lock of dirty blonde hair falls into his face as he peers down and lifts up onto his tiptoes to drive himself downward into your body.

It just got real, now. There’s nothing more grounding than an urgent cock pressing deep, deep inside.

Hvitserk leans over you, eyes going wide and tight around the edges as he sinks all the way into your aching pussy. “Fuck, you’re so fucking tight like this.”

Your eyes bulge a little as you agree. This angle makes you feel full as hell.

Hvitserk stares down into your face as he starts moving his hips. That eye contact of his, fuck. You’re not sure how to handle it. Somehow it feels more intimate than the rubbing of your naughty bits together. He fucks down into you with an increasing pace, his lips curling up in a cheeky smile. “This is it, huh?” he glances down, looking at the way your tits bounce between your imprisoned arms, at your upturned cunt swallowing his cock down. “What you were begging for.” He interrupts himself with a sigh and a smile, bites his lip as he repeats an angle that must be particularly good for him.

“Fuck, yes,” you say, relishing the relentless depth of every one of his increasingly-wild strokes. “Use me.”

He puts one knee up on the bed, balancing the movement by wrapping an arm around your raised leg, and deepens the already-maddening intensity of the position. He groans with abandon above you, guttural sounds as he does exactly what you’ve encouraged him to do. You let him rut into you with no concern for anything else at all, neither your comfort or your pleasure. It’s worth it; the rush of this feels better than any soft, candlelit evening you could get out of a partner that was focused only on making you feel good. This is so much more complex; it scratches a deep itch you couldn’t even begin to explain, to let every boy in this apartment use your body according to their own wild and selfish desires.

Hvitserk is going to come soon. You can tell by the way his face is twisting to one side, almost wincing, the pleasure apparent in the wild sparkling of his eyes as he continues to attempt to hold onto your gaze even through all of this. You can hear it in the way his grunting breaths are matching the rhythm of his strokes, and the way his thrusts have gone from fluid to insistent, driving at a tight, brutal angle so deep that you swear he’s going to hit your backbone.

He invokes your name like a curse when he finally blows, drawing it out into a long and ragged sound. He can’t keep his eyes open for that moment, making you feel like you can finally catch your breath just as he’s losing his.

He shudders inside you, sealing himself in deep as he comes down from it. He’s propped his weight onto one hand that presses into the mattress just beside your head, so you don’t have much of anywhere to look aside from his heavy brow as he sags in the air right above you.

This time Ubbe’s not ready and waiting. You can’t see the doorway, but if Ivar’s there he has yet to announce himself. This time Hvitserk gets to stay nestled inside you as long as he wants, and you catch your breaths together.

When he lifts his head, his eyes are glittering with easy mirth and hints of something deeper. You smile back, squeezing your inner arms into contact with his body. It’s the closest to a hug you can do in these restraints.

Hvitserk turns his head, following the line of your arm up to ropes that connect it to your ankle. “Let’s get you out of those,” he says gently. He withdraws his cock with a shaky breath and eases himself back up to standing. “I can’t believe you—” his mouth is set at a wry angle and he shows his awe in a little shake of his head. “I’m sorry I—”

He’s cut off by Ivar’s return, his voice a sharp, loud contrast that instantly shifts the mood. “Leave those, Hvitserk. I will handle that.”

Hvitserk had just been reaching for your ankle. He drops his arm and melts back a bit.

“Did you enjoy my gift?” Ivar asks, stepping in between the two of you. He sets his crutch so he can stand more solidly beside the bed, and looks you over. His eyes crackle with a deep blue fire at whatever mess he sees in your face, and the expanse of your naked skin. When Hvitserk doesn’t give much of a response, Ivar moves to loosen the rope at your closest ankle. “Would you like to help me give her the rest of her punishment now?” He spares one pointed glance for his brother. “You are the wronged party, after all.”

“That wasn’t the punishment.” He looks at Ivar with a raised brow.

“Of course not. She loved that.” Ivar says, matter-of-factly, and then his whole face breaks out in his evilest grin.

Next Chapter

Link to my other Hvitserk fics

​

#hvitserk/reader #hvitserk/you #hvitserk x reader #hvitserk imagine #hvitserk smut #playing house fic

[rawdogmeharry]

anything [part 2 to everything]

or, the one where Y/N is the love of Harry's life and all he wants to do is marry her.

ask and you shall receive <3

requests go here:)

masterlist

•

Somewhere on the Amalfi coast.

Somewhere on the Amalfi coast, on some hot, grainy sand, under some soft azure skies, beside some crystal clear blue water lay Harry, and the love of his life, Y/N.

And Harry really can't keep his hands off his lovie.

Her lilac bikini, that perfectly accentuates her curves. The stretchmarks she adorns a lot more prominent on her already tanned skin. The smooth skin of her plushy thighs, wide hips and full tits. Is it even normal to get this many boners per day?, Harry thinks.

It drives him insane, really. He doesn't understand how a person can be as unearthly gorgeous as his girl is.

And to think Harry was going to ask this beautiful creature to marry him in just a few hours was undescribeable. It made Harry want to shit himself.

Of course, Harry hopes for the best. Harry knows the best. He knows she's gonna say yes, and not just to be a dick about it, but he knows his lovie. Better than anyone—better than she knows her own self.

He also knows how much she loves him. Knows it best probably from the way her touches bring electricity all the way down to his core and through every nerve ending in his body, as if the love seeping from her veins was trying to force its way into Harry. No need for force though, Harry thinks, he's capable of accepting and cherishing any and every single ounce of her love she's willing to give.

Also knows it from the way he doesn't have to say a word, and she already knows exactly what he needs. Knows him like the back of her hand, honestly, and Harry thinks that this is the actual reason they're meant to be—they really do know each other better than they know each themselves.

And Harry did end up choosing a serene spot on the Amalfi coast in Italy to propose. He figured since he'd already taken her to Paris for her birthday not even a mere month earlier, they should travel to a place they'd both never been to before.

Remember this place for the rest of their lives, make it go down in history as the place where and unseparable bond between them was made, and visit for every single anniversary. Harry's got it all planned out.

"Y'know, even with my eyes closed I can feel you staring at my boobs, Harry."

"Well why are they all up in my face for?"

"They're really not, Har. Y'could at least stop starin' at them in public. Y'watchin' them like a hawk watches his prey."

"Baby, y'know it's like some sort of magnetic pull between me 'n your tits. It's 'cause they are m'prey, lovie, gonna eat 'em all up once we get back to the hotel," Harry says and rolls over on the beach towel onto his stomach and leans his head on one hand. Fuckin' beautiful, is what she is, he thinks whilst tilting his head and staring at Y/N.

"Yeah? Y'promise?" She smiles at him.

He gives her a broad smile back, "Cross my heart, hope to die."

Y/N rolls onto her side on the small towel as well, and throws one of her thighs onto his hip, "think we should head back soon, then. Also, m'heads killin' me. Think it's from the sun. Want a nap and you kissing on my boobs."

Harry frowns, "y'heads hurtin', baby? Why didn't y'say so before? We could've went back way earlier. Um—will you be okay to still go to dinner tonight?"

She gives him a shy smile, "of course I'll be okay to go, Harry. Just gonna take an Ibuprofen or something and I'll be as good as new."

Harry lets out a sigh of relief in his head. The dinner he's been planning for almost three weeks now is happening in just a few hours, and nothing can go wrong, because if something does, he's really going to cry. He's sure he's going to cry if everything goes right, as well.

Eitherway, Harry's gonna need some tissues.

He lifts her warm thigh off his hip and gently squeezes it, stands up and puts both arms out to her, "up y'get then, lovie."

```

After a much needed two hour nap and a love making session after getting up when lovie's head wasn't hurting anymore, both Harry and Y/N are almost finished getting ready.

His darling stands in the bathroom in front of the mirror, leaning over the counter just a tiny bit so she could see a bit better and not get the soft pink lipstick all over her face.

And when Harry walks in on her in this position, his knees nearly buckle.

The slender curve of her back, the hem of her turquoise dress barely reaching mid-thigh and sitting tight on her hips.

Now is not the time to get a boner.

"Lovie, y-you look so fucking beautiful. I—I really don't have any words."

She gives him a shy smile through the mirror and he gives her one back, a light pink blush littering her cheeks from the stammering of his kind words, "thank you, baby. You look as handsome as ever." He thinks she might hear his heartbeat all the way from the doorway.

This time, his smile is so broad his teeth show and his dimple pops out, "nothin' compared to you, baby. Yeh about ready, then, gorgeous?"

"You really want some steak, huh? Let's go then, you impatient man," Y/N giggles.

If only she knew that the steak was the last thing on his mind right now, Harry thought.

```

After eating the best medium-well steak both of them had ever had, Y/N considers unzipping the zipper on the side of her dress. She literally feels like she's about to burst.

And Harry does too. Just not from the steak.

The steak was really good, Harry will admit that, and the wine was also not that bad (for six hundred dollars per bottle, it could've been better, he thinks), but these are really irrelevant things compared to the other's he's thinking right now.

And while Harry's close to having a heart attack, Y/N slowly leans back on her chair, puts her arms on the arm rests and tries to discreetly push out her stomach. She then takes one of her hands and slowly rubs it on her bloated belly, stroking it as if she was pregnant.

Petting her steak filled belly she looks around, and only then realises that just the two of them are left on the second floor of the restaurant.

The restaurant was situated outside, underneath the starry sky, and built right into a cave, with a view of the calm ocean right in front of them.

"Harry, d'you think they're about to close soon? We're literally the only people left."

Here goes nothing, Harry thinks.

"No, baby, that's how it's supposed to be."

She gives him a confused face, genuinely not understanding what he's just said, "huh? What's supposed to be?"

He slowly stands up, walks over to her chair and notices the hand stroking her little pouched out belly and immediately smiles. She's so fucking cute. Bends down to her face to face and puts his big hands on her small cheeks, "Just listen t'me, baby. No questions, just all ears for me now, yeah?"

She's even more confused now. "Yeah, okay."

He gives her a quick kiss, shortly trapping her bottom lip between his own. "Right. Here it goes."

Harry pulls away from her, and very slowly gets down onto one knee in front of her, quickly pulling out a small emerald green velvet box from his inner jacket pocket.

Y/N is in shock. She wouldn't be surprised if she went into cardiac arrest right then and there. Then it all comes together.

The way he was fidgeting with his hands all the way to the restaurant earlier in the evening, so much that she had to put her hands on his, just so he could properly hold the steering wheel. She didn't choose to question that, figured he'd tell her on his own time, when he felt comfortable about speaking of what he was so scared? of, after he gave her an appreciative, but shaky smile.

The shaking of his hands while he was cutting his steak. She really thought that was because of the steak.

The small beads of sweat gathering at the top of his forehead anytime he would make direct eye contact with her during the evening. She thought that the warm climate had taken its toll on him.

She feels stupid. That's why he's been so nervous, she thinks. Everything makes sense now.

"Y/N—I-I've literally forgotten every word I rehearsed for m'speech. Um—'m so nervous I think even m'tongues shakin' so 'm sorry, but I still want to say a few things."

He can barely hold the box in his clammy hands from the shaking.

And she already feels a few droplets of salty tears coming down her face.

Harry takes a deep breath. "Y/N Y/L/N, y'the love of m'life. Nobody comes close to the place you hold in m'heart. I know this is corny t'say, but I really did fall in love with you the first time I saw you. Fell in love with your kindness, compassion and the love you show t'the people most important to yeh. Couldn't imagine spendin' m'life with anybody else by m'side. Can't wait to marry you, bawl m'eyes out when I see you walk down the aisle and later have babies with yeh. Beautiful, beautiful babies, just like their mummy. Take you all over the world, show you places we'll remember for the rest of our lives. Make love every night and mornin', spend the days baskin' in each other's love. Um—know 'm just ramblin' anythin' and I can promise yeh my wedding vows are gonna be a million times better, but will yeh do the honors and make all m'dreams come true? Marry me and be mine, lovie?"

He starts to open the box containing the beautiful custom diamond ring he'd had made just for her but he can barely see where the opening is because of his tear-filled eyes.

And Y/N doesn't even look at the ring, doesn't really need to, even though she's extremely grateful, she knows she'd marry him if he gave her a ring with an engraved pickle on it.

She quickly shuts the little box and wraps her arms so hard around his shoulders, she nearly brings the both of them down to the wooden floor of the restaurant.

"Yes, Harry," she chokes out through her tears and feels his arms wrap tighter around her than ever, "yes. I love you so much. Of course I'll marry you."

Harry hasn't ever been happier than he is in this moment.

#harry-angst #harry styles imagines #fanfic #harry angst #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles #harry styles one shots #harry styles one shot #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfic

[mydisasteracademia]

Random Shigaraki Headcanons

This boi. This grubby boi. I love him so much but at the same time he would probably literally dust me so... (oof this one kinda dragged on and on... lol)

Literally has no idea about real-life relationship dynamics outside of what he’s observed in his own parents, in Sensei, and in Kurogiri. All he thinks in the beginning is that people who claim to love you will stand by and let you be hurt, that villains took care of him better than any damn hero, and that he can only truly rely on himself. (And Sensei.)

It takes a loooooooong time of interacting with other people to break himself out of this mindset, and even then, sometimes it comes creeping back if bad things happen.

Getting into canon territory with this one, but really, really, reeeeeeeeally hates heroes because they didn’t even bother to help him when he was going through a whole mental breakdown. Literally one of the only reasons he hates them so much. I know this is pretty much canon, but I doubt he would ever grasp Stain’s ideology of ‘maybe some are good’ because in his eyes, not even the underground pro heroes even bothered to see if he was okay. Remember the scene from the manga with the old lady when he was a child? Yeah. There were bound to be heroes he bumped into, even off-duty ones, and nobody even gave him another glance.

Has extremely bad abandonment issues. If he likes you, he’s gonna want to keep you because he didn’t really have anything nice to call his own while growing up, and Sensei kept him fairly isolated so he literally tolerates nobody else other than him and Kurogiri at first. Reacts horribly when his friends want to break off the friendship. Goes through a whole depressive episode for a while, his old insecurities pop back up, and he really thinks he’s worse than trash and not worth anyone’s time or attention for a while. Prime time for Sensei to further twist his mind.

On that same note, if you’re dating, for the love of everything still good in this world do not break his heart. He will never forgive you. Literally will go to the grave before he forgives you for doing what you did (whether it be cheating on him or completely dropping him like a hot potato). Although this might also extend to little issues that make him feel like you don’t love him enough, he’ll forgive you if you show him plenty of attention and apologize for whatever he was upset over. If you cannot remain patient through his toxic mindsets, it’s best not to get into a relationship in the first place with him if you want to still remain friends afterward, because breaking it off means instant heartbreak.

Anyway! Back to happier, funnier hcs!!

The whole embodiment of the “Wears black in summer because I look good and am willing to suffer” vine. Will not give up his comfy black shirt and sweats for anything because yes, he does look good in black, and yes, he is willing to suffer. He’ll switch to a v-neck tee though. Even he’s not that masochistic.

Really prone to dry skin. I know that’s canon, but just... this poor man can’t keep moisturized to save his own life. Constantly has to apply a special moisturizer that’s specifically made for ultra-sensitive skin and has no scents whatsoever.

Will gripe about having to spend so much money on ointment and moisturizer for both him and Dabi. It’s one of the very few things they bond over, other than having a shitty father and pushover family... and their hatred of All Might.

Shigaraki 100% would be Dabi’s alibi if he actually managed to kill Endeavor. When it comes to the shitty dad club, he’s a fuckin’ ride-or-die.

Kinda sensitive over the fact that both he and Midoriya have the same sort of red shoes, but he loves his pair too much to throw them out. Purposefully aims for Midoriya’s shoes every single time they meet each other on the off chance that they get ruined enough for him to get different shoes, unknowing that he literally can’t just... get differently-colored shoes due to him being originally Quirkless (yes, The Shoes™ theory strikes again)

Literally never forgets a single thing about people he cares about. He’s the type of person who will remember every single thing you tell him about yourself, and especially birthdays. While he doesn’t exactly show his affection very loudly, he would be the type of person who tell you “happy birthday” on the day of as soon as he first sees you, and would treat you a little nicer all day that day.

This boy just has the biggest, scarred heart for his ‘good crowd’. I cannot stress enough just how much like Midoriya he could’ve turned out if he hadn’t been abandoned by society. This mf would give the green bean a run for his motherfuckin money.

“I really just hate the world and everything in it... except for you, maybe I could make an exception for you because you’re nice to me and I appreciate your company too much”

Even though I hc quite a few League members to be like cats when it comes to affection, Shigaraki’s spirit animal is a cat. Likes to lounge about in off-moments, slow to affection and very quick to remember exactly how people treat him, yet if he likes you he shows affection quietly enough that it’s not obvious at first. Like “oh, you’re in the same room as me. It’s not like I missed you or anything, me sitting right next to you at the bar when it’s totally empty means nothing. The fact that I’m looking right at you when you’re talking doesn’t mean I like you.”

LOVES HUGS. If you hug him and he likes you, you’ve probably made his whole day. Depending on how things are going, probably his whole fucking week. Just please hug him, he needs positive affection so bad

Major tsun-tsun. The most tsun-tsun. Grumpy until you get to know him, and if he likes you he’ll show you in little ways: listening to your ideas more, letting you stay closer for longer, maybe getting you something like food.

AFRAID OF TOUCH. I REPEAT, AFRAID OF TOUCH. Not from anyone he likes, of course; this baby is so touch-starved that he deserves a thousand hugs. But if he likes you, he will not initiate physical affection because he’s so afraid of accidentally dusting you. The memories of his family dying (except for his father, because #FuckKotaro2k21) haunt him almost every time he dreams (and if that doesn’t, then other traumatizing events certainly do), and he absolutely would not forgive himself if he dusted his favorite League member/civilian.

Definitely likens the rest of the League to his MVPs after a while of knowing them. Knowing how he operates, it’s adorable.

Would begrudgingly let Toga play around with his hair. I can just see him sitting blank-faced, staring at the mirror as she talks about whatever while brushing and braiding it into a cute plait. He would be hesitant to undo her hard work afterward, no matter how much he grouches that it “ruins his boss vibe”.

The kind of person to go to McDonalds at 3 AM just because he was craving chicken nuggets and ranch. Yes, ranch. He’s an old-school mf who don’t got no time for no barbecue.

Gets really irritated over Toga mooning over Uraraka and Midoriya, but doesn’t stop her from talking about how much she wants to ‘be’ them. (Encourages homicide. Advises homicide. Spinner has to stop her from actually getting ready to commit homicide.)

Disgruntled™

G L O A T S about the time he took away Overhaul’s chance to use his Quirk. “Yeah, we would’ve been satisfied with Compress taking his left arm away to be petty, but then Overhaul had to be a sentient piece of dick cheese, and well, y’know I couldn’t let him get away with that”

It’s becoming a problem. The others have learnt to tune him out once he gets going. Compress just smiles under the mask when he remembers it. Nobody knows what he’s really thinking.

His damn crowning moment. His apex point. There’s no going further beyond that (until he finally defeats Midoriya and takes over Japan as the world’s most feared villain of all time).

“Shigaraki, I’mma let you finish, but AFO still holds the record for being the most infamous villain of all time! Of all time!” <-- let the boy dream okay, he’s been waiting for this moment his whole damn life

Can you tell that I’m still horribly salty over Overhaul being an ass? Because I’m still horribly salty over Overhaul being an ass

Chronic emo phase. Hears the G note and just sighs heavily

Has probably seen hentai. Doesn’t really get the appeal of high-pitched feminine screams. Probably more of a tiddy man than an ass man. Just... boobie

His first fictional crush was Aeris/Aerith. Legitimately lost his shit when she died.

Man Crush Monday is Sephiroth all the way. Especially his one-winged angel form. Wanted to cosplay him for Halloween but didn’t because the cosplay was too costly.

Will make “That’s what she said” jokes in the most deadpan voice. At least Mustard kinda snickers at them.

Probably would’ve been pretty patient with Eri. Her traumatic past certainly would’ve pitted her as a kindred spirit with him, and he would think her Quirk would be a powerful asset if used right. Probably would’ve practiced it by destroying something and then telling her to rewind it so that he can break it again.

Shigaraki, holding Eri by her armpits: “I’ve only had her for ten minutes but if anything happened to her I’d dust everyone in the room to make her feel better”

The rest of the League: “???????? Okay?????”

Legitimately holds a powerful grudge against parents who abuse or neglect their children, especially against abusive fathers. Almost as powerful as his hatred for All Might. Will actively go after someone he sees is abusive to their children and will not let them live.

Would probably adopt an orphan after killing their abusive parents. “Oh, that was your dad/mom/parent? Well guess you’re mine now. Let’s go get chicken nuggets, kid”

Might somehow rope Dabi into going abusive-parent-hunting with him during a raid. Takes great pleasure in seeing the guilty party’s horrified, pained look on their face as they slowly dissolve into a pile of ash.

#shigaraki headcanons

[phoneybeatlemania-bit-the-dust]

just saw your pinned post and aaa!!! please could we have #49?? mclennon ofc ;)

thank you love 💗

49. “I cant stop thinking about you”

“Id give you everything I got for a little piece a mind!” And with that, he finalised the song.

“Its...its good.” Paul said awkwardly - he’d been put into an uncomfortable position by John, hearing him sing a song that was so clearly about him. A song so distraught, a clear cry for help - and it was Paul evoking these cries as well.

“Yeah, well...” he grumbled, “its one I came up with in India, y’know.” Of course he knew, he’d known within seconds of hearing it - this was a song about their argument. The one that had taken place in India, and the one that has acted as a clear indicator that their relationship has changed; there is no longer an innocence to it, nor is there a nonchalance and ease to it either.

“Um, is it...” Paul wanted to ask if it was about him, though of course he knew it was, still it would be nice to have a little less ambiguity. Instead he opted for asking, “Are you- are you okay?”

With some sterility and a cutting edge coldness to his voice, John responded “Yeah. Never been better.”

Paul nodded at this, not reassured. After something of an awkward silence, John stated, “Ive gotta be goin’ actually - ‘m seeing someone.”

“Alright then, have a good one-like.” Paul said trying to at least finalise their conversation with some normalcy - but watching John just about to leave the room, he felt this ending just didn’t sit right - he had to enquire further, and so in a small voice he called out, “...John?”

“Yeah?”

To his own surprise, he found himself bluntly stating, “Yer not alright; can ye please talk to me?”

“I am talkin’ to ye.” He began to make his way back over to Paul, taking a seat beside him. “Ive been talking to you fer 11 bloody years now - and im still not gettin’ through to you.”

“What’ve you been tryin’ to get through to me?”

John looked away from him, he indicated the answer, but he couldn’t bear to speak the words ‘I love you’ out loud; at least not with such sincerity. He changed the subject, adding, “I cant stop thinking about you. Yer askin’ me if im alright - course im not, ive got you on me fuckin’ mind all the time.”

“I...I didnt know...” Paul trailed off here, he never was good at expressing himself so openly. “I, um, I cant stop thinking about you either.”

Spitefully, he retorted, “Yer full of shit Macca.”

“‘M bein’ honest here John - I cant stop thinking about you, cause im worried about you. Yer drinking a lot, tripping a lot - you show up at the studio and you’re angry or depressed or something or other. Im worried. I want you to be happy.”

He was met with bitter, even resentful response, “Yer not worried about me, you just dont like me bein’ an inconvenience. What if something were to come out, all over the news ‘The Beatles are all really just bastards, like every other fuckin’ human being on the planet’.”

“I dont give a shit about that-“

“Just admit it Paul, you care more about yer reputation then you do about me.”

“Thats not true! And you’re not being fair here either. Im sorry about what happened in India, but-“

“For fucks sake, will ye fuck off with India!” John was always somebody so quick to anger, most people found him impossible to get too close to on the basis that his moods were simply so inconsistent; but Paul had always been able to keep up with him. “Its fuckin’ over now, alright. I gave you a proposition, and you said you you don’t want me-“

“I do want you - I want you so bad, alright? And I dont want to let you go completely, but why cant we keep this casual y’know. If we took it to the level you’re suggesting, we’d both be ruined.” He paused, taking a small breath, and continued, “Im sorry that I cant love you like you want me too, but I want kids someday, and you know, yer right - I don’t want the whole world to hate me, im a coward and you know that. Im sorry, John - but could we not just keep ‘us’ casual?”

John couldn’t bare to shout at him again, because he didn’t want to shout anymore. He been screaming at the world his whole life, and it had never made a difference; no one had ever listened to him. He might as well have just been screaming at brick walls. And so in an agonised voice, he echoed with complete honesty, “If we keep this casual, if I cant have you all the time y’know, if I have to share you with a thousand other birds-like - im gonna lose me fucking mind, Paul. Im going mad already. And I cant stand it any longer; I want you, and only you.”

Paul sighed in response - neither party could give the other exactly what they wanted, and yet they wanted just the same thing.

***

Sorry im taking so long with posting these requests!! I have an essay to write for school today, but after that ive literally got NO homework (whoooooo) so ill be writing up the other fic requests I have in my inbox this week (and maybe uploading another chapter to my longer fic on AO3 called ‘Some People Never Know’)

Keep sending requests in if you want <3

#fanfic #my work #asks #angst #mclennon #mclennon fanfic

[yslkook]

#by the books (5)

#corporate masterlist

summary: seokjin helps you come to several epiphanies. you wrestle with your growing fondness with jungkook, while determining how to talk to him. word count: 5570 warnings: cursing, parental death, discussion of mental health, some alc a/n: this is part 2/3 of being in tokyo!

SUNDAY

Seokjin knows something is wrong when you don’t respond to his texts for over fourteen hours. It’s well into Sunday morning, closer to the afternoon, when he makes the executive decision to camp out outside your hotel room until you let him in. He knows you’ve been on your phone- you’ve been on Instagram. You’re just avoiding him, and probably the rest of the world. As you usually tend to do, when you’re upset.

You don’t know what to do. You’ve never yelled at someone the way you yelled at Jungkook last night, much less literally ran away from someone like that. Embarrassment colors your memories, internally cringing when you replay the night’s events in your mind. It plays like a movie, the same moment mocking you incessantly. Jungkook’s heartbroken, doe eyes haunt you- you’ve barely been able to sleep because you’ve struggled coming to terms with the fact that you put that look on his face.

The reflection in your mirror disgusts you. And yet, you still do nothing about it, burying yourself under the duvet and ignoring anything that wasn’t sleep. It’s easier that way.

Your phone rings again- it’s Jin. You ignore his call. That’s your first mistake. He nearly screeches your name outside the door to your hotel room, menacingly knocking on your door. He’s clearly on a mission to piss off everyone who had the bad luck to be staying in the hotel rooms adjacent to you.

“I’m sleeping,” You shout easily, your voice muffled from the comforter.

“Open the damn door,” Jin demands and you groan. He won’t stop until you let him in, much to your chagrin. You just want to wallow in your self-pity for a bit, is that too much to ask for?

So you finally force yourself out of the bed and drag your feet to the door. “You look like fuckin’ shit,” Jin remarks, taking in your bleary eyes and the permanent frown on your face.

“Thanks, Seokjin. Just what every girl wants to hear,” You mutter and burrow yourself in bed once more. Without a moment’s hesitation, he gets under the covers next to you, curling into your side. Like he’s done a million times before.

“Leave me alone, Jin,” You mumble, without any real heat in your voice, “Yuna wouldn’t like this. Your girlfriend wouldn’t like you to be in bed with another girl-”

“Shut up, stupid. You’re not just another girl,” Jin dismisses you, only tightening his hold around your waist.

“Go away,” You try again, rather weakly. Instead, you let your hand sit on top of his. You both lay together in silence like that for a while. His presence always calms you down, brings you back up a few notches.

“I did something awful last night,” You finally say, voice hoarse from disuse.

“What did you do?”

You take a deep, shuddering breath. “I yelled at Jungkook in front of my favorite ice cream shop… and then ran away from him.”

“What did you yell at him for?”

You tell him- you tell him how he told you he couldn’t keep up with you, how he called you his dream girl, how you screamed at him that your dad died and that you dropped out of school because you couldn’t handle it, how just seeing Jungkook reminded you of when you were happier.

“I’m such a fuckin’ idiot, Jin,” You mutter, pressing your face further into your pillow, “A-and how can he say I was his dream girl, I’m just such an-”

“Shh,” Jin says, muffling your mouth with his hand. Once you stop your self-deprecating train of thought, he pulls his hand away. Jin lays with you in silence once more, only running a hand over your upper arm to soothe you.

“Let’s go get lunch,” Jin suggests and he already hears the protest about to erupt from your lips, “You look like shit and I know you haven’t eaten. Go shower and wear something new. I’ll wait.”

You groan before forcing yourself out of the bed and dragging your feet into the bathroom. Jin rolls his eyes when you shoot a death glare in his direction. Jin was right- the hot water against your skin was soothing. You welcomed the stinging of the water as it pelted your skin with open arms. Feeling a little better coming out of the shower than you did going into the shower, you change into day clothes.

“Lookin’ better already,” Jin says, pulling you into a side hug.

Why is Jin friends with you, when you can’t stand yourself some days? You don’t know what he sees in you. Not when you seem to hurt everyone around you, so selfishly, as if it’s second nature.

But he keeps you close to him, his arm tight around your shoulder and those thoughts don’t throb in your mind as much as they usually do.

Jin sits across from you in a small, quiet ramen shop. You’re in a corner, away from most of the other patrons. There’s only four other people here, including the waitress. Jin says nothing about your outburst at Jungkook from the night before, only noisily slurping his ramen and then screeching with he bites his lip accidentally.

“You eat too fast,” You admonish, shaking your head when he rubs his bottom lip gingerly. Jin immediately takes his phone out to take a selfie and sends it to Yuna, claiming that he needs a kiss to make it better. You roll your eyes fondly and smile at him.

Puppy love is cute on him.

“So,” Jin finally says and your heart races. His tone has instantly shifted to a little more quiet, a little more serious.

“What do I do, Jin?” You whisper, shoulders slumping and avoiding his eyes, “He didn’t know. The kid didn’t know why I left, that Appa died- a-and I don’t know why he’s so hung up over it either. ‘Snot like we were friends like that back then anyway… God, Jin, you should’ve seen the look on his face before I ran away, like a fuckin’ coward.”

You hold your head in your hands above your half finished bowl of ramen and groan. “What a mess. I’m a fuckin’ mess.”

“Jungkook considered you friends back then,” Jin says slowly, “As far as I know, at least. I mean, I remember him being excited to see you every week for those mentor mentee sessions. And how grateful he was when you pulled him away from mean girls. He’s sensitive, you remember at least that much, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” You laugh despite your misery, “Used to call him Bambi back in the day. He’d get so flustered. But… I just- like, I told him it hurt too much to even look at him. Because he reminded me of when I was happy. Who fuckin’ does that?”

“But are you happy now?” Jin asks bluntly, slurping another mouthful of noodles.

“I don’t… know,” You murmur, “I think I can be.”

“Happy isn’t a constant thing. You won’t be happy all the time, the same way you won’t be sad all the time. But the last few years have been so hard. Let yourself be happy, sweetheart,” Jin says, reaching over to squeeze your hand, “Happy back then doesn’t have to be the same as happy now.”

“How do I just be happy?” You wonder out loud, making a mental note to talk to your therapist about this.

“I don’t know, but for starters, talk to Jungkook. He considered you both friends. You hurt his feelings when you left without a word. And he’s hurt now. And… I know you spent a long time blocking out the last few years, blocking out all of the bad. But there was some good, too.”

“Can’t believe he called me his dream girl. What does he know?” You grumble, crossing your arms over your chest but you feel a little lighter.

“You gonna tell me you didn’t like that?” Jin asks smugly.

“I didn’t!” You protest unconvincingly. Jin says nothing, only eyeing you with a knowing smile.

“You’re fooling no one. Eat your ramen, stupid.”

And so you do, the spicy broth curling in your belly as if it’s your home.

It feels like it’s been too long since you had spoken to Grandma, so you call her the minute you and Jin part ways. You tell her about the events of the past few days- how you had met up with friends you hadn’t seen in years. And how you had screamed at Jungkook undeservedly-

“I miss Appa,” You mumble, eyes watering, “He would be so upset with me. For the way I’ve been acting. Like he never existed, never talking about him…”

“He’d just want you to be happy, honey,” Grandma says kindly, “And to forgive yourself. To allow yourself to love and be loved.”

And then you cry some more. Grandma does, too.

Later, when you drive Jin, Jimin and Hoseok to the airport, all three of them wrap you up in tight hugs. As if you wouldn’t be in the same city as them in less than 48 hours. You promise to keep in touch with Jimin and Hoseok. Maybe they believe you, because they both hug you again with bright smiles.

MONDAY

Today’s the day. It’s the day that the Seoul team meets the Tokyo team face to face for the first time. Excitement brims in your blood- you’re certain that you have a lot to learn from this team. They’ve been a part of more submissions than your smaller team had been, and it had been a big surprise that Namjoon was named as the main lead of the project. But he was more than capable, as he had shown in the last few months.

The Tokyo team consists of Lisa, Irene, Minhyuk and they’re led by Mark. Mark, who you’ve known for about as long as you’ve been with the company. He had started with you in Seoul, in the same position and had quickly moved up in the ladder. Which seems to be the case for a lot of people, namely men, around you. He had actually beat you out for the job that he currently had. It had left a sour taste in your mouth for a long time- what did he have that you didn’t? But slowly, with time, you had gotten over it. After all, the job was in Tokyo, and you don’t think you were ready for that kind of move at the time. Everything happens for a reason, or so they say.

The company office in Tokyo is a little older than the one in Seoul- after all, the Seoul office had been recently renovated. If there was a word to describe the Seoul office, it was sleek and modern. You quite liked it.

Minhyuk had picked you, Jungkook, Sana and Namjoon up in the lobby to take you to the conference room that you would be working in. He’s a chatterbox, telling you about the history of the building, how long he’s been with the company and how grateful he is to be part of this team.

Jungkook tunes him out, nodding when needed and asking questions when appropriate. He casts his eyes over to you despite himself. You had put on a little more makeup today than usual, trying to conceal the puffiness of your eyes. Not that Jungkook could tell. He thinks you’re pretty. And the way you chew on your glossy bottom lip as you listen to Minhyuk- he thinks you’re cute, too.

You’re hyper aware of Jungkook’s presence next to you as you walk through the hallways and finally reach the conference room. He sits across from you, and for the first time since Saturday night, you allow yourself the luxury of looking at him. Despite a room full of new faces, the only person you want to look at is him. His dark hair is softly tousled over his forehead, barely there dimples dotted in his cheeks when he smiles at his new team members.

His gaze is transfixed on Mark and Namjoon, as they introduce themselves formally to each other and the rest of the team respectively. Mark’s eyes brighten when he sees you, but he keeps it professional, only shaking your hand with a smile that borders on a smirk.

Irene and Lisa eye you almost warily, until you introduce yourself to them with a warm handshake and a warm smile. You’ve been told you have an intimidating persona when people first meet you- in fact, your boss is the one who always tells you to smile more. What a jerk.

Mark and Namjoon both present on the mission and the objectives of the submission, and then what each individual team will be responsible for. You take a sip of your coffee, and cast your eyes around the room. Irene, Lisa, Sana and Minhyuk are intently listening to Mark and Namjoon and taking notes. While you’re staring at Jungkook.

And he’s staring back at you.

You pull your eyes away first, heart doing almost painful somersaults in your chest. You don’t mind being caught at staring at him, but you just feel like there is so much you need to say to him.

Like apologize. You need to apologize for unloading and dumping on him when he didn’t ask for it. But then, his smile fades and his doe eyes are sad. Because of you. It’s all because of you.

You and Namjoon present your slides for your team’s plan going forward, with details on the timelines and deliverables. Jungkook and Sana will be working on the logistics piece to organize another face-to-face workshop, and for the next one, the Tokyo team will come to Seoul.

Despite the heat of Jungkook’s gaze on you, you speak clearly and confidently. Jungkook loves the sound of your voice, the way it floats out into the room and wraps itself around him comfortingly.

Even when you had yelled at him outside of the ice cream shop, about how your Appa had died, about dropping out of school, and about how seeing him reminded you of when you were happy… Even then, he could never wince at the sound of your voice.

Jungkook was pissed that nobody had told him- that he had gone this long thinking so selfishly about you. He could have never have fathomed the gravity of your circumstance. He had yelled at Jimin the next day, but Jimin had only yelled back at him-

“She dropped off the face of the earth! She wanted nothing to do with us and it was her thing to tell!”

“So she was all alone that whole time? Because you all thought it was her thing to tell?”

“Don’t act like you’re better than all of us just because you didn’t know! You and I didn’t reconnect until recently, how was I supposed to tell you? And we tried to reach out to her. She shut us out, literally. What could we do if she ignored us for five fuckin’ years?”

You were alone. With your Grandma and with Seokjin. But still, alone, and possibly thinking that nobody was checking on you. Even if there is truth to Jimin’s words, Jungkook can’t help but feel like he’s too late. If he had known…. Well, what would he have done?

This crush of his feels more and more childish as days go by. And yet, when you look at him, the way you’re looking at him now. With softness lined in your irises, he can’t help it.

He can’t help but look back at you. Maybe you can see his apology in his face.

“Hi,” A voice comes from your left side. You’re at the coffee bar, refilling your second cup of coffee before noon. His voice is reserved, almost shy. Your heart seizes up immediately at the sound of it.

“Morning, Jungkook,” You say breathlessly, grateful for the coffee cup in your hand for something to hold on to. To channel your nervous energy into.

“Morning,” Jungkook says softly, “Can I talk to you later? Maybe after the happy hour?” He asks, hope shining in his voice and sparkling in his eyes.

No- it was supposed to be you who would reach out to apologize. After all, you were the one who had screamed in his face and ran away. He’s probably only reaching out out of pity, you think cynically. Nevertheless, it throws you off.

And apparently, since you’re the keeper of bad decisions, your response to him is predictable. Despite every synapse in your heart screaming at you to say something else.

“Uh. I don’t think I’m going to the happy hour. I’m not really feeling great,” The lie blooms from your painted lips easily. His face falls and you pretend like your heart doesn’t ache over his doe eyes.

“Oh, okay. Feel better,” Jungkook says and you give him a barely there smile, passing him to head back in the conference room.

A headache is beginning to brew in the back of your head. It’s the last thing you need.

Why does it bother you that Jungkook had been the one to reach out to you first, rather than the other way around? After all, you were the one who caused a scene. What reason does he have to want to talk to you? If anything, you’re the one who needs to apologize, right?

You stare at the shifting trees in front of you, hoping that if you stare hard enough, the leaves will whisper an answer to you.

Maybe you’re just overthinking it. Maybe he just is that good, to want to speak to you just because.

You’ve been sitting here, at Appa’s park, for the better part of an hour. You’re hoping for an epiphany, or some type of sign. It feels strange that Jungkook is weighing so heavily on your mind. You’re not used to this feeling.

A whistle of wind rustles through the collar of your thin jacket, curling around you in comfort. With a loud exhale, you stand up from your bench.

“Oh, fine. I’ll go to the stupid happy hour,” You scoff into the sky. As if the sky can hear your complaining. And so you turn on your heel and leave the park, begrudgingly making your way to the happy hour venue.

Usually, showing up to work events like this alone was a breeze. It was easy for you to think about these things as just being something to check off in your list of things to do for the day. You stayed to say your hellos and made some small talk before leaving, all within an hour.

But today feels different. Your carefully put together nerves are beginning to fray at the seams. You take a deep breath before swinging the door open to enter the bar. Namjoon and Mark had rented out a corner of the bar for your teams to have your own space. High tables of appetizers and drinks surrounded the bustling voices of your teammates.

Your hands are inadvertently balled into tense fists. This place is littered with people and still, you feel so alone. You wish Jin was here. You wish Jin was here.

Jungkook sees the crown of your head the minute you walk into the bar, even with the dimmed lighting. He had been sulking before, barely interested in the conversation that he had forced himself into under the pretense of ‘networking’. Not that anyone would be able to tell- Jungkook has mastered the art of making it seem like he was present. He would never jeopardize an invaluable opportunity like this, and he’s never been one to allow others to surpass him in settings like this. He knows what the stakes are. But he’s become adept in the art of multitasking.

Your lips are pursed, eyes darting across each side of the room. It feels overwhelming, like too much. Maybe you shouldn’t have come…

You cross your arms and dig your nails into your cloth covered bicep nervously. Before you can calm the thudding of your heart in your ears, you turn your head and see Jungkook walking towards you with a smile.

You can’t help but smile back.

“Jungkook,” You exhale, “Hi.”

“You came,” Jungkook says, eyes crinkling at the sight of you. Has he always had those deep laugh lines around his eyes when he smiled? For a second, you’re breathless but you break his gaze, not wanting to let your eyes linger over the rest of him for too long. At the risk that you’ll be sucked into his warm, brown whirlpools.

“Yeah,” You say faintly. Jungkook can sense your nervousness- you can’t help your eyes darting around you at the number of people surrounding you.

“Wanna get a drink with me?” Jungkook asks, gesturing towards the bar with a flick of his fingers.

“Really? You wanna get a drink with me?” You ask incredulously, with a raise of your eyebrow. How could he possibly want to spend time with you, when you had treated him the way you had?

“It’s on Namjoon and Mark’s company card,” Jungkook shrugs and you laugh. He leads you towards the bar. There are a few people seated at the navy blue leather bar stools surrounding the bar, a few of them eyeing Jungkook curiously. It doesn’t surprise you- he looks good in a form fitting black turtleneck and black slacks. Rings adorn his fingers and small hoops sit in his earlobes, a soft smile peeling across his face when he looks at you.

Yeah. You’d stare at him, too. If you didn’t have the fortune to know him.

“What can I get you?” Jungkook asks, relaxing with his elbow on the bar top.

“You mean what can Namjoon and Mark get us?” You say, pulling a laugh from him. Your heart sings at the sweet sound. “Hmm… I’ll have wine, I guess.”

“Red or white?”

“White?”

“Are you asking me or telling me?” Jungkook teases and your cheeks heat up.

“Telling you! I’ll have a… chardonnay,” You reply, turning your head towards the bar so he can’t see how flustered you are. But he does, and he pockets the information for later.

Once Jungkook orders two glasses of chardonnay for both of you and you’re both holding the wine glasses in your hands, you gently clink your glass with him. It makes you a little nervous, how easily you find yourself talking to him. How comfortable you feel around him, as if you were old friends. As if you hadn’t been so mean to him only the night before.

You don’t know him well. But you remember that he’s always had a big heart, offering his forgiveness to those who didn’t deserve it. Would you ruin him? But maybe a little selfishly, you want to chase this feeling.

“I went to this park earlier,” You murmur, swirling your wine in your glass, “It’s really pretty and quiet. I used to go there all the time when I was younger.”

“You’ve been to Tokyo before?” Jungkook asks.

“Yeah,” You nod, “I used to come here a lot when I was a kid and spend summers here with Appa. Sometimes Grandma, too. Appa taught me Japanese from when I was really young, it’s probably why I’m even on this team…”

“That’s not true, you’re on this team because you’re really smart and good at what you do! And I know Namjoon values your opinion a lot-” Jungkook protests, an annoyed furrow in his brow. Is that really what you think of yourself?

You laugh and give him a grateful smile. With a breath of seemingly transient courage, you part your lips- “Jungkook,” Your voice is soft and small and nothing like what he’s used to, “I want to-”

And then you’re both interrupted by both Sana and Namjoon slinging their arms around your shoulders. Jungkook gives you a reassuring smile, a promise that you’ll talk later. You wonder if you’ll lose your courage by then.

Namjoon pulls you away from Jungkook and Sana, introducing you to some people that you’ve never met. You recognize them as higher ups, Hyo-Jin, the head of submissions for all of Asia and Hae-ri, the head of business development. The realization makes you take a few generous sips of your wine and straighten your back.

You can hear Jin’s voice in your head, telling you to make a good impression. Namjoon easily pulls you into the conversation, giving you plenty of opportunity to insert yourself in-

“She’s my right hand woman, though I don’t think even that is a good enough term to tell you what she is to me,” Namjoon says. Compliments like that always fluster you, and this time is no different.

“Namjoon speaks too highly of me,” You brush him off, “I’m just glad I have this opportunity, I mean being on the submissions team has always been one of my favorite parts of the job.”

“Oh? Do you see a future for yourself in submissions?” Hyo-Jin asks curiously, with a quirk of an elegant eyebrow. She’s a no nonsense woman, you can tell just from the five minutes you’ve had with her.

“I definitely want to lead submissions teams one day. I mean, Namjoon is a great teacher,” You grin, elbowing him, “But even more than that… I’d like to oversee an entire product line end to end later down the line. And I think it’s important to invest in our young talent, too-”

“Young talent? As in people development?” Hyo-Jin asks.

“Yeah, I mean they’re our future leaders, aren’t they? It’s important that they have the tools to succeed now and beyond,” You say vehemently.

Hyo-Jin says nothing, only nodding and taking a sip of her drink. “And you? Do you have the tools to succeed now and beyond as a future leader?”

The question makes you stumble. Do you throw your boss under the bus? But you’ve never been a liar, and you sure as hell won’t start now.

“No,” You say bluntly, “I’ve learned so much with Namjoon and being part of this team. And in general being part of regulatory and submissions projects. But I don’t think my skill set is being effectively used in my current role. If you want an honest answer.”

You can practically hear Jin scolding you from far away. But you won’t build a professional relationship on a fallacy. To your surprise, Hyo-Jin smiles.

“That’s refreshing,” She says, her painted lips splitting into a smile.

“What is?” You ask, feeling rather stupid.

“Your honesty,” Hae-ri chimes in, “People aren’t always honest with us, because of our titles. Like they have something to prove.”

“Yeah, well, maybe people are rightfully more concerned about making a good first impression than I am,” You joke, gripping the handle of your wine glass tighter. Hyo-Jin and Hae-ri both laugh with you, telling you to put time on their calendars to meet with them virtually when you go back to South Korea after the trip. With that, they both slip away from you, making sure you know that they appreciated your presence. And then you let out a breath.

“Holy shit. I fucked that up,” You mutter, “My boss is going to kill me, Joon. What the hell is wrong with me-”

“Relax,” Namjoon says easily, his dimples on display, “They loved you. Trust me, they loved you. They already knew who you were, you know.”

“What? How could they possibly know who I was?” You gasp incredulously, “I’m a nobody!”

“Seokjin’s right. For someone so smart, you’re dumb-”

“Hey! That’s unprofessional of you,” You say, but a smile threatens your lips.

“They never tell anyone to put time on their calendars unless they like them. So just trust me. And this submission has the eyes of all of the higher ups. Our good work doesn’t go unnoticed.”

“I just,” You sigh, “I’m used to it going unnoticed. So I guess… Thank you. For your leadership, your guidance… and your friendship.”

He smiles at you brightly and clinks his glass with you. “C’mon, let’s go find Mark.”

Jungkook can’t help but cast his eyes in your direction every so often. He knew, he knew you were about to say something poignant at the bar. All of the signs were there- your serious eyes, the way you forced yourself to look him in the face, the barely there nervousness that he could taste.

It seems that everyone suddenly wants a piece of you- you flit around with Namjoon, taking it all in as he introduces you to people. Jungkook is beyond happy for you, that you’re finally getting the recognition you deserve from the company.

But still, he can’t help but crave just a minute alone with you. Especially when he sees Mark’s face light up at the sight of you, pulling you into a too-friendly hug. And you don’t even realize it, it seems. Only offering him a smile in return, surprise coloring your face when he hugs you so tightly.

Jungkook tries his best to stay present in the conversation he’s in, with Sana and a few other members of the Tokyo team. But he has such a nice view of you that he can’t help his eyes drifting every so often. He can’t help noticing the way your pink pants sit on your hips, and the way your black blouse is tucked into them. More than that though, he can’t help noticing Mark noticing.

Do you know? That Mark sees you in that light? He’s so obvious about it, and yet. It seems like you’re oblivious.

Namjoon eventually excuses himself from both of you, claiming that he can hear Sana calling for him. You think nothing of it, shrugging and continuing your conversation with Mark.

“Hey, you did great today,” Mark compliments, stepping just a hair closer to you.

“Oh! Thanks, I know,” You wink at him, “I have a great team, I mean it.”

“Well,” Mark says, taking a sip of his soju, “You’re pretty great, too.”

“Oh, stop,” You wave him off with a roll of your eyes, “You don’t need to butter me up, Mark. Save it.”

“C’mon, you know I mean it. We’ve been through a lot, you and I,” Mark says with a crooked sort of grin. You understand why people fawn over him, that smile could get anyone to do anything but you roll your eyes.

“Have we, Mark?” You ask dryly.

“We go way back,” He says self-assuredly, almost cockily.

“No, we don’t,” You mumble under your breath, and he hears you. You subtly take a step back from him, turning on your side. Only to find Jungkook already looking at you.

“You wound me,” Mark murmurs, placing a hand over his heart dramatically. You roll your eyes, but still give him the same grin. It’s polite, nothing more, nothing less.  

The way Mark looks at you teeters on the edge of something more than friendly professionalism. It’s clear that you both have known each other for a while. Maybe through work? Maybe something else? It bothers Jungkook, and he knows it shouldn’t. Especially when Mark leaves you for a minute, only to return with a refill of your wine.

An irritating ember settles in the pit of Jungkook’s stomach. Perhaps he has an ulcer, he thinks dryly.

Mark has your phone number, from other projects you’ve worked with him on. He does text you every so often, maybe once every few months. You’ve never thought much of it, only responding to him out of obligation since he is your colleague and technically your superior. You don’t think it’s malicious- he’s always been a charmer. Even when you first met him when you first started at the company.

By the time you manage to shake yourself of Mark, Jungkook has disappeared. How long has it been since you’ve been here? You look outside of the windows quickly, taking in the darkness of the sky and the moon hanging from it.

“Hey, you ready to head back to the hotel?” Namjoon asks, Sana already in her coat next to him.

“Yeah, where’s Jungkook?” You ask, craning your neck to see the top of his fluffy hair.

“He left a bit ago. Said he wasn’t feeling well,” Sana says, fastening the buttons on her coat. The bitter pill of regret settles in your belly. How ironic that he had left happy hour saying he wasn’t feeling well, when that had been your excuse to not attend.

So still, even when you are in your hotel room after the happy hour, changed in your pajamas and about to watch a show to end your night, you think nothing of it when Mark texts you later that night:

Mark: it was good to see you tn :)

Despite Mark’s name lighting up your phone, you feel an ache in your heart. Over the fact that you hadn’t had the chance to speak to Jungkook. He’s somewhere in this hotel, and you could, you really could just ask Namjoon his room number and talk to him. But the bolt of courage from earlier seems to have fizzled out long ago.

So you text Mark back instead. Thinking nothing of it.

#jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x you #jungkook fluff

[period-dramallama]

Spanish Princess Episode 5: many many thoughts

Strap yo selves in 

-WHERE WAS THE APOLOGY?? Lina’s just back with Catherine like nothing happened?? 

-Katherine, I get why you’re upset, but you kind of should be unsurprised?? Your dad was unfaithful to his wife, most kings were. Henry VII and Richard III were the exceptions, and even they had illegitimate sons before their marriages. Many kings also had official mistresses that everyone knew about, so by the standards of the time Henry and Bessie are actually being pretty tactful in at least trying to keep their affair out of sight. (Sexy dancing aside). 

-Honestly it would have been so much more moving if KoA was like “I know kings take mistresses...but I thought...I was so sure... he would be different...”

-”they gave me a purse of gold!” It’s expected that you give the monarch lavish presents, lmao Ursula and Stafford would do that even if they hated each other and you

-”everybody loves a masque” the only sensible thing Henry has said so far in this show. Also court probably had way more masques than we see in the show, and it would standard to have a masque every holiday. 

-”she is not a boy” hurry up with your character development and learn to love Mary already i am so TIRED of this miserable BS

-seems a rather depopulated masque? If the Chateau Vert pageant is anything to go by putting on a masque was a court activity, with most of the ladies performing.  

-Bessie Blount in her cute masque costume... sweet mother i cannot weave Aphrodite has overcome me with GAAAAAAAAAAAAY

-”I never enjoyed carousing...my mother scolded me” look i love the Neville sisters with my whole heart but a) Margaret was 3 at most when her mother died, how does she remember her? She’d have clearer memories of her double-uncle and double-aunt, Richard III and Queen Anne b) Isabel Neville in the White Queen was established as very prim and proper, a well-bred girl who cared about enforcing decorum, she refused to ‘carouse’ and she certainly would never bring a 3 year old to a party c) we saw little Margaret as a girl at the end of the White Queen and she didn’t seem at all shy. 

-”she died young, didn’t she” ...yes? most people did?

-”they both did” understatement of the year. Isabel Neville died young because she was ill, George died young (in the universe of The White Queen, at least) BECAUSE HE WAS FORCEFULLY DROWNED IN A VAT OF MALMSEY WINE. THESE TWO THINGS ARE NOT THE SAME! I do at least trust the writers of this show that the understatement was intentional, I’m sure even Emma Frost couldn’t forget a major character getting violently drowned.

-So the court only noticed the plague when one of their own got it so obviously and then died? Yes, plague could move fast, but if there was a whiff of plague the court would flee with the speed of the Looney Tunes road runner. If an acquaintance of an acquaintance of a cook had a cousin who saw someone with the plague, the court would flee to the country. How have these people not died of terminal stupid?! Like Compton was in the same building as the heir to the throne

-To be fair, it makes sense that they’re surprised Compton’s dead. Because the real Compton died of the sweating sickness. In 1528. Also he was involved in Buckingham’s downfall so... you just wrote yourself into a corner.

-Oh wow an actual good reason for More and Pole to be quarantined together i am amaaaaaazed

-”attend the queen” Boleyn, what do you think your daughter’s been doing all season if not attending the queen? Playing tetris?

-Katherine helping Anne into the wagon...I actually like that little moment. Like it does make sense, because the two have no reason to hate each other yet. (And who couldn’t like Anne? She’s such a babby!)

-Thomas More in the Tudor equivalent of casual clothes... much better. Shame about the 1930s lady’s wig.

-”what else should we do?” Maggie, this cannot be the first epidemic you’ve ever lived through. Have you forgotten the sweating sickness of 1485? You’ve probably lived through more epidemics than Oviedo has, you should know the protocol better than him.

-Oviedo continues to be the only man with rights. I wish we could see him crying and missing his wife and babies, but then my lil heart would break so maybe it’s for the best.

-They burn Maggie’s weird blue hood AS THEY SHOULD! IT WAS UGLY AND STUPID! I NEVER HAVE TO LOOK AT IT AGAIN NOW! THANK YOU SO MUCH! yes they also burned her nice dress with the strawberries on it but honestly it’s worth it, bc now i can rest easy, knowing the evil hood has been defeated.

-”you were a plaything” Katherine is so obviously insecure. I’m getting second-hand embarrassment. Like if she really was certain Bessie wasn’t important, she wouldn’t need to say it, would she? Except to rub it in. Which this KOA would absolutely do. 

-literally all Bessie said was good morning?? Like Bessie is doing her best?? The masque was Henry’s idea, not hers, she hasn’t shown off about her affair, she hasn’t demanded money or titles, she hasn’t demanded any status to rival Katherine’s, she doesn’t flirt with or even speak to Henry when Katherine’s around, she acts like they’re strangers, she doesn’t even react when Katherine loses her temper...someone please please stick up for Bessie!

-”the rocking of the cart is unsettling to the stomach” is Anne naive, or is she covering for Bessie? I hope it’s the latter, in which case Anne is the one person looking out for Bessie...the babby is Soft, I repeat the babby is Soft!

-the irony of Mary being cold to Bessie when she’s next in the firing line...

-”it is not the rocking” Thank you Lina, where would we be without your gift for stating the obvious?

-”where did Wolsey get his money”...He’s a churchman...at the top of the church hierarchy...how do you fuckin think he got wealthy. Have y’all not been in the sixteenth century for five minutes? Why do you think Luther is so mad at the church?

-”I know of no other man in her bed most nights” Honestly wow I’m surprised KoA wasn’t like “well :/ a girl like that :/ who knows how many men process in and out of her bed :/” KoA gets half a point for being less bitchy than usual. Also Bessie looked so uncomfortable with Henry groping her stomach in front of Katherine. I pray the next man in her life treats her right and that Fraham don’t prematurely kill her off like they did with Compton.  

-”the future king” if you’re regent on his behalf, then he’s already king! “Civilised companionship” back at it again with the Scots-are-barbarians.

-Laura Carmichael is utterly stunning this episode, with her hair down. The cinematography was beautiful in general this week.

-”freedom to speak and licence to speak are two different things” hey look at that one of Thomas More’s actual beliefs. I am giving all the credit to the historical advisor for that, I don’t believe for one second Fraham knew that beforehand.

-Maggie I love you but no, God does not sanction adultery. For any reason. 

-KOA smirking and gloating about Bessie’s pain...she has never been so punchable. I would understand, if not condone it, if Bessie was manipulative, or greedy, or ambitious, or trying to supplant Katherine. But Bessie’s been betrayed by Henry too, and there’s no concrete evidence she ever gloated about her affair, to anyone let alone Katherine.  

-”You think only of your own fate while London is struck down with plague” Earth to Katherine?? What concern have you shown for the Londoners?? Also calling Bessie selfish...Bessie’s not the one who lashed out at Lina, was jealous at Lina for having twin boys, and who wanted to continue a war for personal reasons. And then Bessie proves KoA wrong 5 hot seconds later by sticking up for Mary. Bit rich of KoA to be all “how dare you leave my daughter unattended” when she herself won’t even hold Mary. 

-”Louis didn’t last a year” What! Is! The Timeline!

-Meg in that cloak reminds me of the Scottish Widow adverts. Georgie is so greedy- she steals every single scene she is in! Even when she’s raging she has more dignity and more presence than KoA ever has.

-”YOU LYING SOD” i burst out laughing it’s really not the little two-timing shit’s day, is it?

-Mary receiving Charlie B in the most Extra way possible. A++

-Why does Wolsey look like he’s about to cry?

-”thoughts are not actions” Lina I love you but... that is NOT what the New Testament says. Jesus said evil thoughts are very very much sins. I’ll give you a pass because maybe you haven’t been Catholic as long as Katherine has? Idk your backstory.

-Aaand now she’s wishing death on Bessie and her unborn baby and Lina isn’t disgusted? At least Katherine is feeling guilty. AS SHE SHOULD.

-”must it always fall to me to be magnanimous?” Katherine, you think only of yourself, for 23 out of every 24 hours. 

-”God wants me to be compassionate to Bessie because of my sins” God wants you to be compassionate because that’s how Christianity is supposed to work. It’s not very selfless of you to decide to be selfless so that you can get what you want. 

-oh wow look at that! She’s getting some self-awareness, i never saw that coming.

-”you betrayed Bessie” 5 points to Katherine of Aragon for standing up for Bessie when Henry screwed her over. Finally, some positive character development.

- MINUS 20000 POINTS FOR BABY STEALING

-WHAT THE FUCK

-is henry so dumb he thinks that baby is Katherine’s? Katherine was so obviously not pregnant

-When a baby’s born his skin needs to touch his mother’s skin so they can bond. They should have at least an hour’s cuddle time. Katherine of Aragon is literally traumatising a baby the very minute he is born. For her own selfish, selfish desires. 

#the spanish princess

[jidai]

jidai’s budget mutuals/friends appreciation

Hi, all! I’m quite late with this but I decided to put a small friends and mutual appreciations post in hopes of brightening up the end of this year a little bit. ❤️ If you were tagged, please make sure to check below for a small little message from me. However, I want to make it very clear that I truly appreciate all of my mutuals. You guys brighten up my dash and always reblog or create so many funny and creative posts. I just wanted to give a few special shout outs to those that have taken out the time to reach out and interacted with me past my ask box or we just see each other often.

The messages are ordered by your URL, so you might have to scroll for awhile before you see your messages. I’m so sorry lmao. 

Happy New Years, everyone!

@25th​​, Nonnie, the Young Genius. bro, remind me how old you are 🧍‍♀️ Like my brain CANNOT fathom the thought that you’re so skilled at SO many things and you’re not even in your twenties??? PLEASE SPARE THE TALENT. i will even accept crumbs. But I’m writing to tell you that you are such a wonderful presence on my dash. I always look forward to your gfx. They’re so SO good and you’re improving from one post to another. Like WOW. Now, you’re even starting an art blog, too? You’re so dedicated to the arts. I respect that a lot. Your hard work and commitment will bring you very far in life, whatever you decide to do. 

I love interacting with you. You’re such a big sweetheart and full of positivity and energy. I look forward to seeing more of your art and gfx ❤️

@biscuitwalk​, Dann, the AK Wiz. Dann, I know you’re not as active on here so idk when or if you will ever read this but I want to say that I miss you and your creations so, so much. I will say it a hundred times over and OVER but you inspire me so goddamn much. You have no fucking idea. Your works are absolutely gorgeous and unique. I can look at it once and I can instantly recognize your style (and your cute lil’ pufferfish <3). The way you utilize colors and implement various techniques, shapes, textures into your work. Goddamn, you’re so good. I always look to your work if I ever need inspiration and they help me brainstorm. God, I wish I could put it into words how much I adore your works.

We didn’t really talk for long but you seemed like such a kind and fun person to be around. I wish you the best in your future endeavors, wherever you are. Stay safe <3

@elriccs, Mirai, the Short King. 🧍‍♀️ ok look I know, I know I’m TERRIBLE at replying to you and I’m so fucking sorry. I absolutely love to talk to you but my dumbass cannot seem to reply in a timely manner LASELKSAL. That’s on me and I gotta do better. Anyways!!! Thank you SO fucking much for always leaving such kind messages on my work. I swear to god you’re one of my biggest hype man and I ALWAYS look forward to reading your tags. They’re so funny and it makes me all tingly and happy inside. Bro, like, you just radiate big fun vibes, bro. I really hope that I can get to know you better so I can just insult you until it’s too late to walk away </3

And of course, let me also remind you that I love your works so much. They way that you utilize your textures and those muted colors... OOMPH *chefs kiss* I will always love--

@lockhvrts​​, Em the Soulsborne GOD. hi em 🥺 it’s been awhile since I’ve had a proper conversation with you and I hope you’re doing okay! I miss you and our conversations where we do nothing but geek out and complain about the game industry lmao. if you manage to read this, I just wanted to let you know I miss your presence here. It’s been kinda dull not seeing your beautiful soulsborne gifs and your game rants. Let’s catch up soon. <3 stay safe and well!

@nathanprescutt, Benn, the Man. BENNNNNNNN.  I love you a lot bro. I know we haven’t had long conversations for some time and I hope I can change that! You were my first friend on this blog and I will always appreciate it. I remember us just geeking out over your works and how I would always send you a gfx request like once a week LMAO. The one thing that I have always appreciated about you was the fact that you’re very opinionated (if not, very vocal on your stance on things) and you hold your ground. There were a few time where you encouraged me to speak on topics that I think I shouldn’t and that stuck with me for quite awhile. I’m still a nervous rambling mess when it comes to debates but just know that the one time you supported me to voice my opinion--I hold it very dear to my heart. 

While I don’t spend much time together, I will always remember our animal crossing session. It was  so much fun just trashing and chilling on your island. Especially the bar :( that bar was fucking AMAZING. Maybe once FFXVI comes out, we can geek out hehe

Also, thank you so much for sending in photos of all your doggos, omg. I miss seeing them so much I hope they’re doing well. Stay hot, my German bro lol. Ich bin sehr dankbar, so eine tolle Freundin zu haben. ❤️❤️❤️

@noxdivina​, Lin the Big Dick Daddy Kind. The church is open for business bitch and I’m here to preach the GOSPEL.

Okay, jokes aside, I’m really happy that we became mutuals. You’ve always give off this like, mysterious cosmic vibe (????? huh). And your selfies just further proves that you are wtf. But you’re always so kind to those that you interact with. You’re an absolutely sweetheart and like I just want to give you a giant hug every time we interact. You’re such a soft human being. It’s so nice being around you. It’s like being tossed in the oven and baked at 250 degrees F for 25 minutes. And to boot you’re really talented, hello? God really said let there be a perfect human being and yeeted you into the universe. Thank you for always leaving such kind messages and words in my DM/askbox/works. I cherish them so much. I hope I can get to know you better in the future bc you’re rad, bro <3

anyways, updated drawing of u and maya:

i always assume you’re in a black fur parka 24/7 and maya is coatless neck down. also deck me with those jacked arms of yours thanks  🧍‍♀️

(edit: fuck i forgot to draw a PARTY HAT ON MAYA IM SORRY)

@rokuseis​, Sei, the Dumber.

i have nothing to say to you go away you banana hater ASELKSAEKL

BITCH, you doo bee getting on my nerve 24/7/365 🧍‍♀️ you were an unexpected but a very welcomed addition to my life. I can’t believe we really went 1 fuckin’ year without speaking to each other and then suddenly our friendship blew up because over a stupid BANANA. Now you gotta deal with me and my stupid, random, crude ass messages daily. I cannot. Clown to clown communication. But thank you so much bitch for being there for me and telling all of these funny ass stories and life experiences.

I know I don’t say it a lot because when we talk it’s literally just dogs barking at each other but I want to make it clear now: I love your humor and vibe so much. You never fail to make me laugh anytime I talk to you and I appreciate it so much. I can’t tell you how many times I felt better after talking to you. Even though sometimes your fucking jab hits hard and I end up actually inSULTED BY IT. But thank you for becoming my friend and I look forward to all of our stupid moments together. Looking forward to shitting in your sink when I finally fly to your home <3

@wolfamongthem, Anna, the Grinch. Please don’t hurt me for that title. I'm just saying if someone needs a live casting, it’ll be u. Anyways, did you know that I was so fucking intimidated by you for a long ass time, even before we became mutuals aseljas LMAO. I always see your gifs around on explore and they’re so gorgeous and then I look at your text posts and it’s u roasting people like there’s no tomorrow- 🧍‍♀️ bitch I was SCARED OF U KSKS. Now that I’ve talked to you a few times, you’re really funny like where do you find those reaction memes????? Like bro you and your shitposts is my morning cup of coffee. 

Anyways, in 2021 I expect a full-fledge review of all AAA games from you-- no more shit talking in the tags let it all out BITCH. Thank you for being such a great mutual! I look forward to see what weird shit you will send me the next time we talk lmao

@zenien​​, Selm, the I’m-gay-for-Lady-Maria-or-anything-that-moves-in-BB-Bitch™. ok bitch if I’m being honest I wrote yours last so my brain is FRIED. so everything i say from here is raw from the HEARt cause that’s all I got left. But anyhow, we savin’ the best for last! honestly, i didn’t expect you to barge into my life like that. i really didn’t. i was just gonna keep admiring with my 7 feet (2.1336 meters) pole. I’m glad you made the first move because look where we are wtf 🧍‍♀️ friends??? I wouldn’t believe you if you told me that in 2014 when I first followed you lmao. 

You’re such a kind soul. I know you may disagree but I’m determined to convince you. I can’t tell you how much I want to thank you for taking the time to talk to me during my rough bits. It’s like sitting on a wooden bench in a park during sunset and you sit next to me, just enjoying the vast sky. You radiate such peaceful energy. It’s very calming. Or you know, 2 seconds later i’m suddenly suplexed by your 40 tons of insults like what-- 

Thank you for everything, so far. Truly. It’s been so fun listening to you talk about your Bloodborne journey and see your reactions live. It’s been so fun to see you post your graphics and it continues to blow me away. It’s been so fun hearing about your life and the stories of your adulthood. Every words that we have exchanged, I hold dearly to my heart--more than you ever know. Love u bitch.

#for mutuals #mutuals don't ask about your titles i was being quirky LMAO #this took so long so i hope it works properly sksks #it hasn't been proofread so enjoy the mess

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

whumptober day 3: manhandled/forced to knees/held at gunpoint

back to the batfam! this is more lighthearted to make up for how dark the last two stories were.

summary: dick runs into jason while on a mission in less-than-ideal circumstances. fortunately, dick has a plan.

warnings: plenty of swearing, non-explicit references to torture, and uh... that’s it? this is set in comics verse, but again a nebulous timeline because comics make my head hurt. also, i’ve never written comics!jason before, so do let me know if you think his voice sounds off.

manhandled/forced to knees/held at gunpoint

Everybody that knows Dick has always admired him for being the ‘man with the plan’ though if anybody really thought to ask--and he wishes they would ask, he wouldn’t mind imparting some hard-earned wisdom--he would say that’s very nice, but also bullshit. You can’t plan for everything; there are too many variables to anticipate, and you don’t want to lock yourself into something that makes you predictable. If Dick appears that way at all, it’s one part thinking-on-the-fly, one part training, one part experience, and three parts blind confidence. The key is being flexible, literally and figuratively.

Of course, it’s a bit harder when you’ve got your hands tied behind your back and someone’s trying to drown you in a tub of ice-cold water, but that’s just how the job goes. Dick’s had worse.

Just as he’s on the verge of passing out, he’s grabbed by his hair and pulled out. He struggles to keep his wobbly legs under him as the asshole who had just held his head underwater leers at him. “You know what that was for, Nightwing?” he asks. “Nothing. You have nothing to offer us other than dying in the slowest, most pathetic way possible.”

Dick huffs a laugh. “Well, if that’s all…”

He gets a punch to the ribs for that and loses all his breath for the second time in the last ten minutes. It wouldn’t be so bad if he didn’t already have what he suspected were cracked ribs from the beating earlier that evening, and, coupled with the water torture, if his lungs weren’t already burning with every breath. He heaves and coughs, grateful for the first time for the icy water dripping from his hair, as it meant his captors couldn’t see the tears leaking down his face from the strain of merely trying to breathe normally.

“Well, if this isn’t a familiar sight.”

Dick’s grabbed by his hair again--and fuck if Dick doesn’t find that the most annoying thing about this whole fiasco--and dragged into a corridor. He makes a half-hearted attempt at escaping but receives a hard shove for his trouble, and his kneecaps crack loudly against the cement floor as he falls. He lifts his head, blinking away the spots in his vision, to see Red Hood walk languidly towards him.

“Don’t stop on my account,” Jason says. “The water torture looked like it was a lot of fun.”

“He’s all yours now,” the man behind him says, kicking Dick in the small of his back. Dick grunts, but doesn’t fall over. “Figured you’d know the best way to make him hurt,” his voice drops slyly, “given how you used to fight with him, before. Practically bosom buddies, I heard.”

Dick’s mouth twists in distaste and he scoffs before he can really help himself. He receives a smack to the head for that.

Jason shrugs. “I can make him scream, yeah,” he says. “But you know how it is: you torture a Bat long enough, you attract the rest of them. And then it just isn’t any fun anymore.”

“Yeah!” one of the other men pipes up. “There’s always another one of them. And they always find you.”

“They’ve got cameras and bugs comin’ out their asses!”

“Downright fuckin’ illegal--”

“So you’ve just gotta remember,” Jason interrupts loudly, “that they’re just human scum, like the rest of us. The sooner you put a bullet between their eyes and get on with your jobs, the better.” With that, he removes a gun from his holster and points it straight at Dick’s head.

Dick tenses, breaths wheezing between his gritted teeth. The cool, calm purpose in Jason’s movements is unnerving, even more so than any of his Pit-mad rages and previous attempts at fratricide. 

“He has a point,” one of the other men says slowly.

Jason smirks and clicks back the safety on his gun.

Dick’s about 60% sure he can avoid a fatal shot if he times his move exactly right, but surely Jason would be keeping that in mind? So maybe it’s a 30% chance--

“Wait,” says the man behind Dick, who seems to be the leader of the operation, “that’s too easy. I see your point, but Nightwing has ruined way too many operations of ours to go out just like that.” For fuck’s sake, there’s the hand in his hair again. He’s going to get a crew cut after this. “He still needs to suffer. I say we leave him here to slowly rot--he’s half dead right now, anyway.”

Jason narrows his eyes, his gun never wavering. “No, you don’t know these assholes like I do, you leave any of them alive you’ll--”

“I said we leave him here,” the leader growls, clearly smarting over Jason essentially taking over the operation and, you know, making points with his men. “We’ve taken everything off him, anyway. Let the other Bats find his frozen body--it’ll be a message.”

Jason rolls his eyes, but it’s an uncomfortably long moment before he finally clicks the safety back on and puts it back in his holster. “Whatever, man. Your funeral.”

They end up tying Dick’s handcuffed wrists to a hook on the wall, pulling his arms painfully behind him. His ankles are tied together as well, a heavy chain wrapped around them for good measure. Jason in particularly appears to take great pleasure in lashing the ties around Dick’s wrists as tightly as possible, the material biting bloody groves into Dick’s skin. For a brief moment, their palms touch. Dick looks away, unwilling to meet Jason’s eyes.

They leave him alone in the cold and damp, wheezing from the chill, the damage to his chest, the strain of his position, and what Dick’s pretty sure is a budding infection. When he hears the sounds of their boats leaving the harbour, he slumps his head back against the wall, presses the emergency beacon that Jason had pressed into his hand, and waits.

-

A week later, Dick’s resting in his room at the Wayne Tower penthouse, trying his best to sleep despite the tightness in his chest. He eyes the portable oxygen tank next to his bed; he isn’t the biggest fan of using it, but hey, apparently recovering from double pneumonia means doing a lot of things he isn’t terribly fond of, who would’ve thought?

Just then, his window creaks open and a hooded figure crawls in.

“You,” Jason says, straightening to his full, considerable height, “are an idiot.”

“Hi to you too, Jay.” Dick says cheerily.

“When you said you were going to sabotage their operation from the outside while I did it from the inside, I didn’t think it would mean get yourself captured and killed!” Jason throws his arms up, starting to pace. “And I’m standing there thinking, oh shit I might have to actually try and blow this motherfucker’s brains out because you have no sense of self-preservation!”

Dick coughs, then points out, “You didn’t have to. By the way, the fact that you had to be talked out of shooting me by Villain-of-the-week number 10? Kind of hurts.”

Jason deflates. “I knew they’d never let me kill you outright. They’re from Gotham, which means they’re more sadists than professional criminals.”

“Hurray for Gotham, I guess.”

Jason shakes his head. “Did you have any plan back there?”

“Of course,” Dick says, now serious. “You,”

Jason stares at him for a long, long moment before slumping into a chair by Dick’s bedside with a huge sigh. He loops the nasal cannula around Dick’s head and turns the oxygen tank on; the tightness in Dick’s chest slowly fades. “You know,” Jason says, “I think I might be ready for us to go back to being sworn enemies again. This shit is too stressful.”

Dick closes his eyes and smiles.

#nightwing #dick grayson #jason todd #red hood #my fic #whumptober2020 #no.3

[morgana-ren]

Who would win in a fight over you - Dabi or Tomura? And who would be better in bed?

Ooh! Ooh this is an interesting one!

Alright, so if Shigaraki and Dabi both catch feelings for you, you might as well put the High Noon soundtrack on repeat around the hideout because things are about to get a lot more hostile ‘round these parts. Much to everyone’s ire, they’re not exactly shy about this either. Those two don’t get along well on the best of days, so when they’re competing for something they both crave, things are going to get messy. 

But let’s start off slow, shall we?

Dabi is going to try and woo you in his strange, uniquely Dabi way. He’ll slather on the charm, turning it up to 11 and even past that. Overtly flirtatious jokes, sexual innuendos, doing his absolute best to make you blush. If you’re both walking along, his hand is going to find its way to your lower back by the time you get where you’re going. He likes touching you, likes heating his fingertips on your skin. You know the seductive look he does? The look? The deep one where he tilts his head forward and looks deep into your eyes with his turquoise ones in a way that just screams ‘I’m already half hard under my pants?’

Yeah, that one. Oh, he’s going to be doing that a lot. He won’t make any definitive moves until he feels like you’ll reciprocate it, but he’s going to make you flustered like it’s a fuckin’ Olympic sport. 

The more you nervous and shifty you get, the dirtier his jokes are going to be and the more physical he’s going to act. You’re cute when you’re all worked up, after all. Needless to say, he’s going to do everything but physically pounce on you. He won’t do that until you’re begging. Everything else though? That’s free game. He likes touching you, so he’s going to.

Getting late and you’re off to bed? He’s going to pick you up, chuck you over his shoulder, and literally carry you to your room. He’s not leaving your doorway until he’s absolutely certain he’s exhausted every last resource to get you to invite him in, even playfully. He stares a lot too. If you’re just hanging around the bar having a drink, his eyes are usually lingering on your face, waiting for you to notice and initiate conversation. It’s not that he’s shy, because he’s definitely not, but he likes the look on your face when you catch him shamelessly looking. He also enjoys offering to let you see his “other piercings” and chuckles when you realize what he means and your face blossoms bright red.

Tomura on the other hand? Tomura doesn’t play that shit. He’s not as experienced in flirting as Dabi. He just does what feels natural, and that just happens to be whatever the fuck he wants.

Dabi is a lot more laid back than Tomura, and arguably more open to the word ‘no.’ If Tomura catches feelings, it’s happening. You’re his, and he’s not asking. He doesn’t like anyone, and he likes you, so he’s sticking to you like glue. Come to peace with it. He’s getting better with cooperation and trust, thanks to the League, but being told that you’re the future King and you can have whatever you want for your entire life leaves you with a sense of entitlement that doesn’t exactly go away overnight. Granted, to his credit, he’s going to try to ease you into his presence at first.

At first.

Look at this regal looking psychopath. Does he look like he gives a fuck? No. The answer is no he doesn’t. Get ready for a whole lot of this man, because once his sights are set on you, they’re locked and he’s not going anywhere. You should be honored, you know. The future King sees you as a prospective future Queen. 

He’s going to be around a lot rather suddenly. You might not notice for a moment, but he’s always right fucking there. Hanging out in the bar? There. Napping in the living room? You wake up and he’s right there. The only place he’s not is in your room, and that’s like the only barrier he has. Even then, he has zero problem just barging in without knocking. Better hope you sleep with something on at least, because when he can’t fall sleep, he’s going to stare at the wall in YOUR room, not his. It nearly gives you a heart attack the first dozen times to wake up and find him sitting on your bedside watching TV, but eventually his presence becomes a calm constant. It means he trusts you, and that’s good, right? You take it as his extreme social awkwardness, and you’d be half right. The other half just wants to be near you, so he does.

Happen to be getting dressed when he walks in? Naturally you’re going to start freaking out, but he remains oddly calm. He just rolls his eyes, comes in, closes the door and stares at the ceiling and kills time until you’re done scrambling to get your clothes over your naked skin. No matter how many times you try to tell him he can’t just do that, he keeps doing it. You swear he’s doing it on purpose, but he gives you no real evidence of that. It’s like he has a fucking radar for the second your pants hit the floor, but you can’t prove it. With how much time he spends on the computer, you’d rather not know anyway. At least he has the decency to look away?

In public, he is constantly sitting next to you. Even odder, he’s almost always touching you. Nothing incredibly invasive, but you can tell it’s probably super intimate to him because he’s so hesitant. His shoulders are always touching yours when you’re seated together, bits of his long hair occasionally brushing your arm and making you shiver. Sometimes he just reaches over and starts rubbing your hair between his fingers or cupping your face gingerly. Its often at awkward times and completely floors everyone else, but eventually you get so accustomed to the feel of him that it’s almost weird when he’s not prodding you somehow. You don’t even flinch anymore when you feel his cold fingers stroke your jaw. You know he won’t hurt you. He’s too careful for that.

What does surprise you, however, is when he starts dragging you on all his little errands, even ones where there’s literally no reason for you to be there. Meeting with a rival leader? You’re there. Scoping somewhere? You’re there. You think he’s grooming you for some sort of position of power at first, at least until he starts dragging you on personal errands too. Small walks to clear his head? Yup. Trips to the game store? Hey, which game looks like more fun? TRICK question, it’s this one and you’ll be playing it with him all night until he says you can sleep. He even starts talking to you. Not ordering you around. Not insulting, or at least not seriously. Just talking to you about random shit. 

Where things start getting really fun is when Tomura and Dabi start realizing each other’s behavior. Tomura doesn’t like how Dabi is talking to you, and Dabi realizes he hasn’t seen you without Tomura 3 inches to your left in several weeks.

Queue the music.

It’s going to hit both of them like a kick in the nuts, and soon it’s bared teeth and thinly veiled insults, both in private and public. The truce they made when they decided to work together is rocky as is, but now that they have their eyes on the same prize? Good luck.

“Hey creep, do you think you’ll ever manage to fuck a woman without ending up having to stick your dick in a pile of ashes?”

“I don’t know, Ashtray. Say, do the women that will touch you have to help you staple half your ‘skin’ back on after sex? Or do you double up and try to play it off as foreplay?”

Things get very hostile very fast, and while they know better than to compromise League business with their feud, the second it’s over, it’s back to ripping each other to shreds. Funny enough, neither one of them looks where the opinion really matters, which is you. Instead, they just both berate you for allowing the other to act the way they do. 

Dabi gets a bit more hurtful, teasing you with a bit too much bite to truly be playful.

“I never pegged you for a suckup, dollface. Playing Leader’s pet. I thought you were better than trying to sleep your way to the top.”

Tomura, once again, doesn’t fuck around. He doesn’t play or even try to disguise his irritation. Just makes demands.

“Stop letting him stand so close to you. I don’t like it.” 

The dynamic you’ve created between the two of them is unsustainable, so eventually, you’re going to have to choose and make it clear which one you want. Preferably sooner rather than later.

Now, if it comes down to it, they will fight. Not really the way you’d expect though. They won’t charge at each other aiming for death. I mean, they might, but not until it’s a total last resort. They’ve got their reasons for working together, you know. However, they’re both petty little bitches and are going to go about it in their own way. Dabi is going to get way more invasive when it comes to your space, constantly making remarks about how gross or creepy Tomura is while keeping his hands on you just a little too much to be friendly. He’s going to try to put Tomura down in your mind, and he’s going to do it right in front of him. He’s really going to drive the point home that he can touch you with all five fingers and Tomura can’t and will never, ever be able to. Dabi plays really mean and holds no hostages.

Shiggy on the other hand won’t show that he’s affected by that, but he sure as fuck is going to abuse his position as leader. He’ll keep you and Dabi apart as much as possible, sending you on separate missions, keeping your attention away from him in an official capacity. Middle of the night and everyone is hanging around the bar? Not Dabi! He’s got a vital mission to go on. Immediately. Right now. Yeah, it’s imperative. Better hurry up now. He’s going to make Dabi so exhausted that he’s not only cranky, but he won’t even have time for you when he’s not off running around. Tomura is going to play Dabi like the pawn he is and remind him that no matter how he fights it, he’s nothing but a chess piece for him to use as he sees fit, and you deserve better than a pawn.

Those nights when Tomura is hanging out in your room? He’s going to leave riiiiiight as Dabi is walking by to finally go to bed. He’ll even wait for as long as he needs to for Dabi to come back. Even though absolutely nothing happened and you were asleep the whole time, Shig is going to make a show of it. You know, because he can. 

Arguably, Tomura is the pettier of the two, since when you pick him like he knows you will, he’s going to rub it all in Dabi’s face where as Dabi would likely accept victory and move on. We’ve all seen how much of a petty little shit this guy is. Just picture it. Yeah, now times it by two.

So as for who wins? That’s up to you. There will be repercussions no matter who you pick, so it has to be a choice of the heart. It’s an unfair position they’ve put you in, and no one but a certified dumbass (me) would enjoy it, but life really do be like that sometimes. Think long and hard about who you want. Only one route is unlockable.

Now, as for who is better in bed. 

Dabi is by far the more experienced of the two. He’s charming, powerful, and he’s got the bad boy allure down to a tee, so you bet your ass he’s either had a slut phase or is currently in it. He knows what feels good, and has built up a technique that guarantees customer satisfaction. He’s a good lay, there’s no two ways about it. Even better is he knows it too, and he’s open to suggestion. He’s not exactly a shy boy, so if you got something you’re into and you want him to comply, the absolute worst reply you’re ever going to get is “Really? You’re a strange chick, but if that’s what you want, babe, I’m game.” 

Sex is usually on the forefront of his mind somewhere, so he’s going to want this pretty quickly. It’s not that deep to him, just a physical sensation, so this is definitely not the key to his heart. Obviously he likes you for other reasons too, though, so it’s nothing to worry about. Still, as much as he denies it, Dabi can be a big softy, and he can and will cuddle you, even if it means he pretends it’s not his idea as he calls you needy and falls asleep immediately afterward. He’s just putting on a show, because truth be told, he likes feeling wanted even after it’s all over.

That being said, Tomura is the more passionate and easily the more devoted of the two. He’s not experienced in the slightest unless you take countless hours on hentai and porn sites, and he spent a good chunk of his life secluded, so if he’s doing this with you, he fuckin’ means it. This means something to him, and Goddamn if he doesn’t pour his heart and soul into everything he does. He can put on a bold facade but the truth is all of this makes him very nervous. He’s putting himself out there for someone else which is not something he thought he’d ever do.

He’s extremely intelligent and a very quick learner though, and all that pent up emotion makes for a massive libido and an even bigger ego. He wants you to want this as badly as he does, so he’s going to do everything in his power to make sure you do. After you two take this step, he’s going to be noticeably softer. He will deny it until his dying breath (or until you’re literally queen and he has nothing to lose), but a part of his soul became yours when he gives himself over to you. He never struck you as the sentimental type, but you might as well have bonded yourself to him once the deed is done. Either way, while he has his own sexual quirks and desires, his number one goal is to satisfy you.

Now tell me anon, which one holds your heart?

#Anonymous #Shigaraki #Dabi #Shigaraki vs Dabi #this blows im sorry #im way up on cough medicine #this took me way longer than it should have and its not even good #you can easily tell which one i favor lmao #i love my burnboy but tomura has my heart #im so sorry ask this again in a few weeks when im all better and i'll rewrite it and make it better if you want #yandere boys #not as ns as my other works

[sahlo-connor]

Hugs

Hi guys! I’ve been following this @dbh-found-family event since the beginning, and I wanted to throw in my own contribution. I had so much fun seeing all of the art and fics. You all are so talented! This fic was a bit rushed, because I wanted it to be done before July, but here it is! <3 

Final Week Prompt: Hugs!

Connor was having a hard time adjusting to being a deviant.

It wasn’t that he had a hard life. He knew that he had it a thousand times better than some of the other androids he’d heard about. Many of them had ended up homeless or unemployed after the revolution. Which, to be honest, Connor had never even thought about for himself. He hadn’t thought much about the future at all, and honestly, he didn’t have to. Hank was eager to offer up a place in his home, and the two of them fought for weeks to eventually get Connor back on the force as a detective.

On paper, everything was perfect. 

But for Connor, it wasn’t.

Most of the other deviants had been your everyday workers or companions, woken up as the revolution had begun to take rise. But Connor was specifically designed to stop those types of people. The point of his programming was to solve crimes involving deviants. To act without the emotions that humans often couldn’t separate from cases. CyberLife had literally lived in his mind, watching his every move.

And now they were gone. CyberLife was gone. Amanda was gone. There was no more mission to complete.

The news had reported that he failed- no, that it failed, because even after the revolution they wouldn’t recognize him as a person. And maybe that was the cause of it.

The fact that Connor was designed to be a deviant hunter, not a deviant. That he could never escape his past, no matter how hard he tried. That he could never see himself as anything close to human.

These were the thoughts that occupied Connor’s mind at night, when he didn’t have any distractions to escape them. Now, lying on the couch, staring at the ceiling, he wished he could simply fall asleep to make everything go away. Before deviancy, entering stasis had simply allowed time to pass and for him to recharge. Now, it was…weird. He had dreams about his past. Bad dreams.

Tonight, it was either face the nightmares, or spend hours staring at the ceiling of Hank’s living room, thinking about how he wasn’t a human, how he never would be, he’d never even be close, he’d always be an “it”, and Hank didn’t see him as a son, that was ridiculous, more like a roommate, and everyone hated him for being an android, and he’d never be human, never never nevernevernever-

Connor pressed both hands to his head, gritting his teeth. His LED was red now, spinning in circles. It didn’t seem like there was a solution, so he headed to the one person who could calm him down: Hank. 

It wasn’t unusual for Connor to make his way into Hank’s room at night. Usually, he would just tell Hank he wasn’t feeling well, and Hank would either go into the living room and sit with him, or, if he was too tired, roll over and make room for Connor in his bed. Hank acted like he minded, but he didn’t. It reminded him of when Cole would do the same, and so he allowed it to continue without much protest.

Tonight, however, Connor was unusually upset. Typically, he would be halfway calmed down when he made it into Hank’s room, his stress only being caused by little flare-ups in his thoughts. This time, because he couldn’t get his LED to turn back even just to yellow, he knocked on Hank’s door, eager for company. 

“Come in,” the lieutenant mumbled. He’d become such a light sleeper ever since he’d had to wake up for Connor. It was like having a newborn baby: he was always up in the middle of the night.

“Hello Hank,” Connor greeted quietly. “Do you mind if I stay in here with you tonight?”

This was new, Hank thought. On most nights, Connor never requested anything and simply did whatever Hank wanted. He could tell that something was very wrong just by the way the android was standing, awkwardly attempting to hide the fiery glow of his LED.

“That’s fine. You alright, kid?” Hank asked, propping himself up into a seating position. Connor shook his head ever so slightly. “You wanna talk about it?”

“I don’t know,” he whispered, still standing, his palm cupping his temple. “I’m just having a bad night, that’s all.” 

“Connor…” Hank trailed off. He wasn’t quite sure how to approach the situation. “Son, can you tell me a little bit about how you’re feeling?” He attempted to keep his tone as level as he possibly could. The last thing he wanted to do was stress Connor out even more. 

“I don’t know,” Connor repeated. “The usual, I guess. I’m just a bit…insecure.” Connor had to pause to compose himself.

“Insecure about what?” Hank asked, but he suspected he already knew.

“Insecure about…” He paused. “I don’t know. It’s not relevant, Hank. I don’t want to keep you awake, anyway.” Connor started to turn to walk towards the door, but Hank climbed out of bed and grabbed his arm.

“I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me,” he said sternly. “I know usually I just let you come in here and fall asleep. But I don’t want you to have to suffer through this anymore. Let me help you, Con. Please.” The desperation in Hank’s voice caused a lump to form in Connor’s throat. 

“I just want to be human,” Connor whispered as tears started to fall down his face. Hank took a breath before responding. 

 “For fuck’s sake, Con,” Hank said, sadness coating his words. “That’s what this is about?”

“I’m sorry. I just can’t help but to want to be more than an android. More than a deviant hunter. More than…More than a failure.”

“Kid, you already are more than those things.” Connor looked up. “You think. You talk. You act. You feel. If that doesn’t make you human, I don’t know what will.”

“But people are never gonna see me as a human,” he replied, still crying, which he hated. He felt like a toddler, but it had all been bottled up for too long that it was too hard to stop.

“Sumo does,” Hank joked, setting his hand on Connor’s shoulder. “And I do.”

“You do?” Connor asked, doubtful.

“Well yeah, I...” Hank paused. “Fuck, you make me say a lot of things I don’t wanna say, kiddo.” Connor laughed a little. He felt his tears begin to slow down.

“You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to.”

“No, I do.” He took a breath. “Connor, you’re my family. I don’t see you as a robot or a piece of plastic. You’re my fuckin’ kid, whether you like it or not.” 

Connor’s mouth opened ever so slightly, as if he had something to say and couldn’t figure out how to articulate it. He felt…happy? Yes. Happy. He leaned forward, wrapping his arms around Hank in a tight hug. Hank hugged him back, gently rubbing his hand on Connor’s back in an attempt to calm him down.

“Thank you, Hank,” Connor mumbled into his shoulder, feeling his stress levels start to lower. Hank smiled. 

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t mention it.” Hank didn’t really see himself as a touchy person, but if all it took to help Connor feel better was a hug, he would do it in a heartbeat. And if he was being completely honest, there was a part of him enjoyed it, too. 

Connor felt his LED change from a harsh red glow to a light yellow and, finally, to a soft blue. Sometimes, a hug was all he needed to feel better. It let him know that he wasn’t alone. He savored the moment, knowing that hugs from Hank didn’t come often. But when they did, it felt like the weight of the world was lifted from his shoulders.

After a moment, Hank pulled back, exhaustion causing his eyes to close ever so slightly. “I’m gonna turn in for the night. You can stay in here if you want.” He laid down in the bed, pulling the covers over him and turning towards the wall. Connor did the same, gently climbing onto the mattress and lying on his back.

“Night, Dad,” Connor said absentmindedly. It was only a split second before Connor realized what he said, and his eyes widened. He opened his mouth to apologize, but he didn’t have a chance before Hank spoke up.

“Night, son.” Connor couldn’t help but smile, relieved at Hank’s response. He felt relaxation wash over him as he prepared to enter stasis. Hank and Connor, Lieutenant and detective, father and son. Whether the blood rushing through him was blue or red didn’t matter. Hank thought he was human, and that was enough.

-

#detroit: become family event #detroit become human #dbh #dbh connor #dbh hank #rk800 #father and son #sonnor #fic #my writing

[why-are-you-even-here-tho]

okay people. i’m gonna be spitting a lot of Words. because i’m feeling a lot of Feelings at the moment and i don’t know how to express them through any other methods so. yeah. 

this is just gonna be me venting so. probably wouldn’t recommend reading but idk u do u i guess. i put most of the things that i think are triggers in the tags, but i’m actual shit at tagging so. if literally anything is gonna affect you negatively just. don’t read. i can’t tag everything and yeah. idk. to the cut now i guess. bye. 

hi lmaooo what the fUCK am i writing lmaoo

so. first. my past week has been fucking shit. 

    first, i was super fuckin stressed cause i had chair placement auditions for band, a 70 point spanish vocab test, and a 5-7 minute presentation of elizabethan crime and punishment all due in the span of two fucking hours on wednesday. and my stepmother. has the fucking a u d a c i t y. to tell me that i’m actually only allowed to study (on my computer, where everything is) for one hour after school each day. like honey i can’t control what i’m fuckin assigned. and she’s already shitty with me cause she thinks that i’m not doing anything when i’m on my computer (which, despite what you all have seen of me, is not true lmao). so she’s super fuckin dumb about that. 

    second. my chickens. which i call my chickens because, up until recently, i was the only person that did jack shit for those fuckin birds. literally. stepmother bought the food and sold the eggs. maybe went outside once every couple weeks. it pissed me off but you know. whatever. that’s not even what i’m talking about this time. but she goes out there, before i do my daily stuff for them, and comes back in- whirlwind if pissed off cause the stuff isn’t done. like honey i haven’t done that yet. and she gets bitchy cause i haven’t done it yet and starts to go on about how she knew that i secretly hated the chickens and that she bet that i intentionally fucking killed some of them (cause a few of them actually disappeared this week)?? like what in the fUCK??? i would never fuckin do that??? and i love hearing her complain about what food and water is full to the top as if she bothers doing literally anything to help with them. so i’m now not even allowed in my own fucking backyard because apparently i’m a fuckin serial chicken killer. fuck that. 

    third. i had. the audacity to forget an entire assignment. and stepmother dearest sees it. and goes fuckin apeshit. i am the epitome of disrespectful and useless and such a little bitch and stupid and do i need someone to go with me to school every day and hold my hand and remind me to breathe? and like. i can take that, in a way. it’s the normal shit i get from this woman. what really, for some odd reason, got me this time? when she asked, i think completely sincerely, actually, if there was some sort of implant that could make me better. like bitch. i’m not a fucking dog, you don’t need to fucking chip me so you know where i am all the time. i’m not a fucking robot that needs a fucking upgrade so that my fucking memory is better. i haven’t really said anything to her (or anyone really) about this (cause i don’t fuckin trust her not to give me shit because of it) but i have. a fuckin Issue. with fuckin dehumanization. and that hit. every single fucking button. so i’m fucking pissed and just decide that hey. i’m gonna go to my room for a minute. so i don’t fucking murder my dad’s wife. and i get shit for that too!!! like what in the fUCK???? and now i’m at my grandma’s for some length of time. in fuckin exile. 

    fourth, because i feel like it’s its own thing. my stepmom. as i’m going to my grandma’s for my tommyinnit arc. stops me for a minute. uses her “i’m being genuine (lie) and just trying to make you understand my point of view (with the attitude that it is the only one that matters cause yeah) because being me is hard :(” voice. tells me. “I just want to help you, but you being here makes me think about hurting myself.” which. yes, i understand is not a thing to just dismiss. i do kinda feel shitty about it. but also. 2 things. one, she said it in such a tone of voice that practically screamed “this is a lie to make you feel like shit”. and two, she?? also does this?? to me??? like honey. the blood on the inside of the thighs of my pants and the pocketknife blade hidden in my jewelry box are saying a bit more about “thinking about hurting myself” than you, sitting there on the couch, rewatching game of thrones for the third time. i sound like an asshole in this bit. but i’m just. fuckin angry. 

     fuckin angry and fuckin pissed at myself. cause maybe if i didn’t fuck that assignment up, i’d not be in so much trouble. if i did the chicken stuff earlier that day i’d be at home still. if i could focus more in class my parents might not be as easy to piss off. if i were just. better. if i were not. like this. if i could do more than just “try to” change. if i could look at my issues and actually work to fix them rather than staying up till midnight on a weekday, spending over an hour typing a fucking essay about the shit i’ve been through this week that nobody is gonna read. maybe even if i just. weren’t here. 

    i wasn’t supposed to exist. there were. so many signs. telling my parents that they shouldn’t have kids. one - the fact?? that my mom had no less than four miscarriages??? before she got pregnant with me??? one would think that they may stop trying after like. two. and my mom already had one son! it was with her first husband (red flag right there lmao) but she had! a kid! already! why go through all that pain? idk. i’m not, and never will be, a parent. two - my parents! actually did! decide to stop trying! to have a kid! and then my bitchy little -9 month old ass was like “hey bitches are you ready for 16 years of hell?” three - there were so many issues with my (i mean. not mine but the only one i’ve been involved in) pregnancy. like. mom got badly sick like. 3 times. she told me one day that her doctor told her that it would be healthier for me? if she kept smoking while she was pregnant???? so that’s fun. and i’m positive that it was not just nicotine. yeah. fun. don’t necessarily have an issue with weed but like. bro. you’re pregnant. no thanks. four - i was a cesarean. not that that’s really an issue. but. i felt like it might go on here. five - i refused! to breathe! on my own! for almost 24 hours! this might have meant something!!!!! 

     i don’t even know what i’m writing anymore honestly. i’m feeling emotions and i hate it. it’s midnight. i’ve spent over an hour writing this.  why am i not working on my fic. bye.

i would like access to alcohol please lmao

#ask to tag #tw caps #caps tw #murder tw #tw murder #tw sh #sh tw #tw self harm #self harm tw #tw smoking #smoking tw #tw alcohol #alcohol tw #istg every other word in this is fuck lmao #oops

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #321

i’m exploring the deepest recesses of tumblr to unearth super old surveys, so you can expect an onslaught of ‘em.

When someone is tailgating you, do you drive faster or slower? I drive the same speed, even though it makes me incredibly uncomfortable. What place outside of your own home do you spend the most time at? My sister's place. Have you ever been snorkeling? No. Do most of your relatives live in the same state/province as you? No; only my parents and immediate sisters live here. Have you ever participated in a medical study? No. Is there a food you hate that everyone else seems to like? Especially where I live, fried chicken. It's disgusting. Have you ever had to evacuate from a natural disaster? No. Do you have any family members who are cancer survivors? Numerous, actually. Do you have any licenses other than your driver's license? I don't even have a driver's license, never mind anything else. What job does you significant other have? I’m single. When you were in elementary school, what was a typical afternoon like once you got home from school? I did my homework right away; well, after having a snack. After that, I was most likely on the computer playing Neopets or Webkinz, or something on the PlayStation. Is your favorite movie part of a series? Yes. Have you ever played in a water puddle? Sure, as a kid. I loved that. Have you ever played in a mud puddle? I don't think so. Have you ever kissed someone (outside) in the rain? Yes. He did it purely to be romantic, lol. Have you ever lost control of your car in the rain? No, thank fuck. Have you ever had to attend summer school? No. Have you ever experienced a summer where the temperature exceeded 120'F/49'C? Yikes, no, not that high. The highest we usually get is below 110. Do you live in a hot or cold (normally) climate? Hot. It sucks. Has your community ever had a “smog alert”? No. Have you ever raked leaves, and then played in them? Oh, absolutely as a kid. Dad would rake a pile just for us kids. Have they ever cancelled school because it was too hot? At least once, yes. Have you ever had to shovel snow? No. Have you ever experienced “cat’s breath”, where the wind was so powerful it took your breath away, literally? Yep, especially when I visited Sara and we went on a walk. It was fucking outrageous. Safe to say I didn't last long on that walk. Has your/or have you been in a car that was stuck in a snowstorm? No. What does your MySpace profile look like? I haven't seen it since that site was still "a thing." I do remember, however, that it was COVERED in meerkats, haha. Pictures, facts, etc. And my page song was "Pocketful of Sunshine" by Natasha Beddingfield lmao. Do you like living in the country or city better? Country, 100%. I'm not a city gal by any means. Do you have a big backyard? No, it's very small. Not used to that at all. What is your favorite Adam Sandler movie? I don't know, he's in too many to choose lmao. What was the last thing that surprised you? Apparently a rocket crashed today after launch. What color hair did your first crush have? Brown. Have you ever visited your state’s capitol building? No. I... didn't even know those existed lmao I feel dumb. Who was the last person that said something that warmed your heart? I'm not sure, but I'm quite certain my niece or nephew would be involved there, haha. What is your favorite park? I don't have one. Have you ever felt an earthquake? No. Do you believe anyone is asexual? ???????????? Yes???????????? Were you abused? No. Have you ever missed a deadline? Yeah. Can you tell Mary-Kate and Ashley apart in pictures? I haven't seen them in an eternity, idk. Describe your fondest memory: I don't really want to... but I'll entertain the question. It's hard to choose, and they just about all include Jason. I think what I hold closest though was our dance to "Stairway to Heaven" after prom in the headlights of his car in my front yard. It's something that physically hurts to remember. What song makes you cry every time you hear it? Let's set aside my "trigger songs" for this. "Terrible Things" by Mayday Parade does it very easily. How often do you break your promises? I almost never do. I don't bullshit around with promises. I've only ever broken ones I'd forgotten I'd made, if my memory serves me right. How long do you take in the shower, on average? Not even 10 minutes. Do you have your MySpace/Facebook profile set to a "friends only" setting? Yes. Did your last kiss mean anything? Why or why not? Of course it did. I care very, very deeply for her. Are your summers usually boring and relaxing, or busy and interesting? "Summers are hot and miserable." <<<< mood Tell me a crazy thing you did as a child. I don't really think I did anything "crazy" as a child, just weird. Like pretending to be a father penguin arranging rocks to mock a nest. I was fuckin weird. How many best friends do you have? One. When you’re upset, who do you wanna talk to the most? Either Sara, Mom, or nobody. Opinion on Daughtry? They're nice. "No Surprise" is positively beautiful. Do you like country music? Noooooo. What’s been the most awkward situation you've been in? Okay, possible TMI. Basically, Jason's parents arrived home way, way earlier than they were supposed to and my panicky ass couldn't find my clothes quickly, and when I finally did, I had to dress as quickly as possible in his tiny-ass closet while he distracted his mom and dad lmfao. I'ma just say it was a very close call to me melting into a mortified puddle. I look back on it and laugh now, but the absolute, throbbing fear I felt was NOT funny back then lmfao. Don’t you love that feeling when you look at someone and you just melt? <3 That is genuinely one of the best feelings in the entire world. Do you prefer male or female singers? I have no preference. So what are you planning for this summer? Nothing, really... Who knows where the Covid situation will be then. What’s a good book? In general for absolutely anyone, Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo. It is a book about pacifism that is so very deep and emotional. For women, I highly recommend The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. As a woman myself, the concept of the book is terrifying, to be reduced to reproduction machines without rights, so it's something you can really feel as a female. It's a book that definitely makes you want to fight for women's rights. Is it awkward for you when your parents talk to you about boys etc… No. I'm a grown woman. Now if she asked about my sex life (if I had one), I'd feel a bit weird, but not very. Do you like it when guys play with your hair? Yeah. Ever cried when you had to say goodbye to someone? Well of course. Over multiple people. Have your parents ever hated one of your boyfriends/girlfriends? No. Have you ever dreamt of someone you barely know? Indeed. Do you have a blood donor’s card? Yep. Have you ever taken a pregnancy test? I had to before surgery. Has anyone seen you naked in the last week? No. What kind of doctor did you go to the last time you went? It was via phone, but I talked with my psychiatrist a few days ago. Does your ex still think about you? I'm sure Sara and Girt do, as they're my good friends, but idk if either think of me romantically. I would hope Jason at least remembers me with some degree of care in his heart... As for Juan, Aaron, and Tyler, idk if they do and I don't really care. What has been bothering you a lot lately? My weight. Are you trustworthy? I think so, yes. Did your parents teach that white lies were ok? Yeah, but it definitely depends on the situation. Which literary character would you dress up as, if you had to choose one? Speaking of The Handmaid's Tale, for Halloween one year, I really, really want to take some cool photos of me dressed as a handmaid with a (obviously fake) blood splatter over my stomach. What (or who) is the best thing that ever happened to you? Being born with the mom I have, probably. I have no idea. None. Of where I'd be without her. Do you miss college? Sigh, sometimes... but I'm not going back. No chance. Dropping out three times due to my mental state hints at a clear pattern. Have you ever called a teacher “mom”? Yeah, accidentally. Except with my physical science teacher in HS that eventually became my "other mom" and most recently our landlord, even. I call her "Mama" sometimes. What was the name of your first imaginary friend? It was a wolf whose name I don't remember. What color was your nursery when you were a baby? No clue. What is your favorite arcade game? I desperately wanna go to a location that has Silent Hill: The Arcade. :/ That's on my bucket list. It's very rare. Are you allergic to grass? No. Do you remember to water plants? I don’t have any plants to water. What is your favorite fall drink? I don't drink any "fall" drinks. Favorite winter drink? Hot chocolate! Favorite spring drink? There are "spring" drinks? Favorite summer drink? Gimme a nice, cold margarita. Name three creative people you know. Sara, Tez, and Mini are some of the most creative people I've ever written with. Name 3 YouTubers you aspire to be like. Mark in like a million different ways, I look up greatly to Jeffree Star's work ethic (say what you will about him personally, but holy shit does mama WORK), and Emzotic for her incredible growth after trauma that's left her more confident than ever, and she's amazing with animals and just a darling overall. Does anyone know who your current crush is? Yeah, I'm pretty open about it. Have you ever been scammed? Not successfully, no. Which song describes your life? I relate to "Get Up" by Mother Mother a lot at this point in my life. If someone dislikes you, what is most likely to be the reason? Probably because I open up so slowly/am very secretive of myself when someone might be trying to get close. People have also criticized my laziness. Where did you meet the last person you swapped numbers with? YouTube. At least I think Tez was the last person I gave my number to. Who was the last person to add you as a friend on Facebook? Hunter, my neighbor growing up. Who was the last person that asked if you were okay? My therapist. I had to leave group due to severe abdominal cramping. It was just my period, but he just wanted to check. What was the last thing you bought from a vending machine? Probably a soda back when I was still in school. Has anyone given you butterflies recently? Actually yeah; I had a memory of Sara that caused 'em to revisit me. What was the name of the first person you ever had a crush on? Why did you like them? I'm going to exclude my puppy-dog crush (Dylan) and talk about my first "real" crush, Sebastian. I liked him because we had very similar interests, he was really friendly, nice, and funny, and he clearly trusted me a lot because he actually confided in me regarding the relationship he was in that was struggling and causing him a lot of pain. I thought he was attractive, too. Ngl, I wonder sometimes where we could have gone if he hadn't been dating the girl, because I'm 90% sure he was into me, too. In current times, he very recently got engaged! Super happy for him. Which parent do you identify with the most? My ma. What do you think you cook or bake the best? Scrambled eggs, I guess. That's just about all I CAN make, haha. My family likes 'em. I always use American cheese, salt, pepper, and a bit of hot sauce. What embarrasses you the most in front of other people? Admitting I RP. If you had to choose one thing you were most passionate about, what would it be and why? Of actually important things, gay rights. If we're talkin' passionate about anything, then the answer's meerkats, duh. Who are you most envious of—real or fictional—and why? A rival photographer that lives here. I absolutely hate admitting that, but yeah, I'm extremely envious of her. She gets way more traffic than I do by a long shot, even though I, from a completely modest and honest standpoint, genuinely think I do better work than her. It's just frustrating. All about who you know in this business. How old is the most expired item in your fridge? Supposedly our milk expired on the 1st, but it smells just fine? And mind you, I am very cautious with expiration dates, and I've found milk typically starts to smell bad a few days earlier than the date to me. This jug is an outlier. What are your favorite style of underwear? I'm a fat old lady that likes high-waisted underwear. What’s the saddest song you’ve ever heard? Maybe "The Ballad of Dwight Fry" by Alice Cooper. I could name tons, though. How about the sweetest song? Maybe "Easy to Love You" by Theory of a Deadman. Another song I struggle to listen to because it was one of mine and Jason's "songs." Do you know how to play dominoes? No. Are you proud of what you’re doing with your heart and time right now? Not in the least. Why or why not? I'm just wasting time. Doing nothing with true meaning, and I seem unable to get over this low point I'm in. How many bones have you broken? One. Well, I was told "fractured," but apparently that's the same thing as broken? Have you ever won anything? Big or small? Yeah, multiple things. What food will you absolutely not, under any circumstances, eat? Animals like cats or dogs. Pets, basically. I would feel WAY too weird. Has anything/anyone every saved your life before? Yes. What is one thing you’re embarrassed to admit you want to try? If I'm embarrassed by it, why would I share it with whoever reads these? What is the most important memory you have and why? When I decided it was truly time to move on from Jason. Why that's my most important is obvious: it changed my mindset and life in general. Is there something you wish you had said sorry for but never did? God, I hope Jason read my apology email I last sent him. I finally accepted I did wrong, too, and I want to know that he knows that. Who was the last person you know to have a birthday? My youngest niece's first birthday was mid-February. What’s a musical instrument you think sounds really beautiful? The violin. Do you play that instrument? I wish I could. Do you have a favorite type of pasta? (like a shape of noodles, not dish) Just spaghetti noodles, ig. How many times a day do you brush your teeth? Once. Who sent the last e-mail you got? My PHP therapist sent me the Zoom link to our group session. Do you have a favorite shape? Out of basic ones, circles. What’s the last song you bought/downloaded? I don't recall. Probably something by 3TEETH. Have you ever been on a trapeze? Hell nah. Do you buy chocolate after Valentine’s Day when it goes on sale? No. Do you personally know anyone who is an author? I met a poet at the psych hospital once. I also have an old friend who had something published in a magazine, I think. Do you own a polaroid camera? No, but I'd love to to take more ~aesthetic~ photographs sometimes. What is something you think is underrated? Snakes! :( They're not scary or gross, nor do they in any way deserve to be killed. I wish the worth of snakes was seen much more clearly. They are spectacular, intriguing animals. Around what temperature do you consider it to be too hot outside? Once it hits like 65*F, I'm starting to feel uncomfortable. In what ways do you expect your life to be different one year from now? I hope beyond hope that I have a job I enjoy. And that I'm driving again. What’s a hobby you used to have, but don’t anymore? I used to loooove video editing, but I've lost all motivation for it. Do you have any exercise equipment in your home? Somewhere we have this one stretchy thing that I have no idea what it's called, then there are two sets of small weights somewhere. Where is the farthest north you’ve traveled to? New York. Farthest south? Florida. East? Well, ya can't go more east in NC unless you want to drive into the ocean... lol. West? Illinois. If you have/want children, will you raise them similar to the way you were raised? If I had kids, I would in some ways, but in a lot of other ways, no. Do you have any unusual decorations in your home? Nothing strange, no. What is the highest level math class you’ve completed? I don't know. Not very high. Do you have an ebook reader? (iPad, Kindle, etc.) No. What kind of natural disaster is most common where you live? Hurricanes. Have you ever had an animal get into your attic? No. When was the last time you started a “new chapter” of your life? 2017, ig. What is the last random act of kindness you did? I guess you could consider a loving text to Sara a random act of kindness?

#survey #surveys #questions