#but this truly has lived in my drafts forever

[blueiight]

“…i was haunted by my brother’s death, by the abandonment of my sister…”

majority of the conversation around paul in the amc setting revolves around the question of whodunnit, jokes about him at the second dinner table scene of the pilot, or paralleling his mental illness to louis [a parallel the show admittedly draws upon - with louis stopping his suicide attempt bc “paul forever ruining grace’s wedding night, and [louis] not wanting to do the same to claudia on the anniversary of her escape”] what i intend to focus on, is the specific nature of paul’s complaints with respect to levi, and what paul and claudia represent to louis.

in the book, paul wants louis to sell the plantations & town homes they own in new orleans, and give louis the money so that paul could travel and become a missionary saving france from the godless jacobins. the paul that we’re introduced to in the show is… similar in motivation, but fundamentally divergent. tithe the money over to st. augustine’s so the house dont fall in on them, but the first dinner table goes as this after he says that:

whats of note too is the divergence of the draft v the pilot release. the show excises the freniere family w the exception of levi himself to drive home how paul’s objections to levi’s religious and ethnic background are overruled by the lingering shadow of jim crow.

paul is also reminded that his autonomy is conditional in this first dinner scene here: louis quips back to his point about sugarcane with “if daddy was still here, you’d be locked up in that asylum over in jackson”. its a reminder of the earlier point, but also speaks to something else.

bc of paul’s profound mental illness, he would never be allowed to live an autonomous life, much less hold authority over anyone: whether its the man of the house [as louis was in the du lac family], or as a bride [grace] or as the mother [florence].

this is strongly reminiscent of claudia — someone whos personal autonomy is entirely dependent on the purview of physically mature vampires by nature of permanently being trapped in the body of a preteen. it is also reminiscent of claudia in that louis in both cases plays a sort of savior in relation to them — whether its louis taking paul out of the asylum, or louis taking claudia out of the burning rooming home. louis views paul and claudia, especially claudia, as people that save him from his own self-loathing.. claudia somehow possessing this redemptive quality re: baby jesus…

louis loves both of them deeply, but as iwtv has established, love as a feeling does not exempt someone from enacting violence toward you. in fact, the very loved one that harmed you has an entire framework of rationalizing that violent act as being ‘for your[my] own good’ as is.

the title of this little post comes from the season one finale, where louis collapses in on himself to try to make sense of why he spared lestat, invoking paul and grace to create this red herring to the ‘murder of lestat’. but truly, the thread is false. louis did not abandon grace, and lestat’s death was only an attempted murder sabotaged by louis. modern day louis in the season finale triggers himself through daniel in order to provoke armand, the “protector of his pain”, to reveal himself + question him on the death of claudia, just as he questioned lestat on the death of paul in s1e6.

#yn. #iwtv #louis de pointe du lac #claudia #paul de pointe du lac #tldr: he ended on a good note w paul but a bad one w claudia & thats why hes so regretful/did the 2nd interview in 2022

[dodorimo]

WIP Wednesday Saturday

Stripper!Tav x Raphael

Just a piece of something that's been in my drafts since forever

· · ──────  ❊  ────── · ·

People who don’t know any better think her strength lies in the art of seduction, but she believes it’s in the way she can read people at first glance. Whether it was the twitching of a finger or a sharp intake of breath, no sign was small enough to escape her trained eyes.

The man sitting at the front-row table would rather be anywhere else. Glancing at his watch discreetly, eyes glazed over with boredom. Tav has seen plenty of men like this come and go. Men who were pressured into coming to their club by their peers, out of a sense of obligation or just to keep up appearances, there’s no way of knowing for certain.

He’s handsome, in a timeless, elegant way. The kind you see in black-and-white movies. Chestnut-brown hair slicked back, sharp cheekbones and a mouth that promised to curl into the most sinful of smiles. In his late forties or fifties.

Two other men sit at his table, both younger and more enthusiastic, if the way their eyes almost pop out of their sockets as they look at her is anything to go by. She doesn’t spare them a second glance.

Of course, Tav knows she’s being partial. In her experience, older men are more likely to keep their hands to themselves and leave generous tips.

A part of her resents the fact that he isn't looking at her, craves his undivided attention. But then again, her show has just started.

“That girl looks like a good lay,” says one of the men in the front row, loud enough for her to hear even over the blaring music.

“The one with the awful dye job?”

Excuse her…? Her hair color is as natural as it can get, thank you very much.

“Nah, that one is a real blond.”

“I’ll only believe if I see it for myself,” the man says as his eyes run down her body in a way that leaves little doubt as to his meaning.

Fuck her this, fuck her that. Enough of these two jerks. She heard worse and with much more color. If her handsome stranger kept such rude company around him, maybe she isn’t so keen on getting to know him after all.

She often pictures someone while she dances—a prince from a faraway land, a movie star, a stern-looking madam. It gave her performance an extra edge, made it just a little more captivating. This time, however, she doesn’t need to superimpose her imagination on a poor bystander, she locks eyes with her mysterious stranger and gives everything she has.

It doesn't take long for her to lose herself in the carnal energy of the place, in the heavy beat of the music, in the pungent smell of smoke and sweat, until everything around her is a blur. It reminds her why she does this, why she dances.

The music stops and she slides down the pole, body aching and sweaty, a satisfied smile on her face. The men stare at her, lust written in their gazes, but she only cares about one set of eyes. At the front-row table, her handsome stranger is looking straight at her.

Not just looking at her. Devouring her is a better way of putting it, as if she were a fresh-from-the-oven—and entirely too irresistible—canapé being served at his table. She was right earlier: he does look good when he smiles. Although she had underestimated the wolfish nature of it, the way his eyes sparkled with newfound interest.

The moment is short-lived. A small crowd has gathered at the edge of the stage, pulling her from her musings. Her audience expects her to put on a show and she doesn’t intend to disappoint.

Her lacy garters are overflowing with cash by the time she’s done, some falling to the floor where she stands.

A flash of brown hair. Her heart beats faster.

“You were magnificent, my dear. Truly a sight to behold.” Lorroakan, one of her regulars, blocks her view of the crowd. Tav looks past him, but the seats at the front-row table are empty. “You must let me show you my full appreciation later.”

There is little to be said about the man, other than the fact that being around him was an exercise in endurance. Forcing a smile, Tav crawls to him on all fours on the stage. Lorroakan may be an insufferable bastard, but he had money to burn.

The fabric of her jeans shorts grazes the cold floor as she arches her back to be at eye level with him. Her outfit today is that of a naughty country girl, with a sleeveless white shirt wrapped around her midriff and stockings that went up to her knees. A little too plain for her tastes, but she knows better than to say no to Shadowheart (the flush that took over the woman’s face when she put on the outfit more than made up for her troubles, though).

“I’ll take your appreciation in the form of your tips.” Holding the ginger’s gaze, she splays her palms over her breasts and squeezes them together.

It is almost comical, the way he automatically reaches into his pockets and places the money in her cleavage, like a toy that was put to work, his eyes wide open and mouth ajar.

What happens next is a little more unclear. Lorroakan goes back to his seat—or is pushed, he doesn’t seem to have noticed either way—and someone else takes his spot.

#my writing #wip #4k and i'm not sure if i'm going to finish #raphtav #raphael x tav #raphael fanfic

[yeonjuns-beanie]

Mirotic

warnings: college!au frat party setting cuz i live vicariously thru fics, chan and reader are music majors, mirror sex, dirty talk, oral(f receiving), hair pulling, semi-rough sex, cocky chan, slim thick reader(really i just mention readers ass a lot), some self deprecating comments, weed usage, unprotected sex, squirting, having sex on someone else’s bed, i think that’s it lol

a/n: this has been sitting in my drafts forever and I just never finished it. think imma start working on an ateez fic after i post this one but we’ll see. hope whoever reads this is having a good day/night and that you enjoy it! ~ nero

chan x female reader

word count: 5.4k

You parked your car on the side of the street knowing that it would be the easiest way for you to get back after leaving the party. You were coming up on the end of the semester and your friend Jisung was adamant that you needed to take a break. Take the edge off the imposing doom of finals and come to the party his frat was hosting. The aura frat parties brought was never really your essence, but you’d never turn down a free drink so you thought why not. 

Stepping out of the car and brushing out your skirt you shut the door and began the trek to the building. You could hear the bass from the music echo outside, neon lights adorning the front of the frat and you felt your stomach drop a little. Suddenly feeling somewhat nervous. 

I wonder if Chan is gonna be here tonight

You thought to yourself and suddenly you became critical of your outfit. It’s not that you looked bad, it’s just now you were wondering if it would catch enough of his attention. 

Chan was one of Jisung’s best friends. He wasn’t in the frat technically, but he was around so much that they almost considered him an honorary member. Chan had also been in your music theory classes for the past three years and over time you developed a small crush on him but had never done anything about it. You’d much rather chew on your crush, hiding it in the deepest parts of yourself and keep it platonic rather than embarrass yourself by outing your feelings. 

You finally reached the front steps of the frat house only to be greeted by none other than Chan himself.

“Hey! Y/n, how are you? I didn’t know you were gonna be here tonight.”

He held his red solo cup out to the side so he could give you a hug

“Hey Chan, I didn’t know you were gonna be here either. Ji insisted that I needed to take a break from preparing for finals.” you chuckled out

“Ugh, tell me about it. I know juries are coming up in a few weeks but I have no motivation to work on my pieces.”

“That’s exactly how I feel! But ya know we’re so close to being done we might as well just power through, ya know.”

Chan sighed

“Yeah, you’re right, but still.”

Letting out an airy chuckle, his attention seemed to divert for a moment. You looked at him trying to figure out where his mind went and you almost didn’t catch it, but you caught him raking over your body.

“Wanna go grab a drink? I feel bad keeping you right here at the door”

You nodded, following him inside the front door. Passing through the entryway, you realized how packed it was this time around. This wasn’t your first party Jisung invited you to, but it was definitely the first one where the house was almost completely packed. Forcing you to slide sideways through crowds of people

Guess everyone needed the night off

“Y/N, do you want punch or something from one of the coolers?”

It wasn’t Chan’s voice that brought you out of your thoughts but rather his hand resting on your lower back and his head coming to your ear so that you could hear.

“Ummm, I think I’ll do the punch for now. Are there any truly’s in the cooler?”

“I think so yeah.”

Walking over to the cooler you bent down to sift through all the cans. What you didn’t realize was that while you were digging through the variety of drinks, Chan was watching your every move. Watching every curve of your body bend with the way you moved. He almost lost his composure watching you finally stand up from your crouched position, your skirt riding up a tiny bit and your ass being accentuated. Turning around he had a solo cup waiting for you.

Shaking the truly can you looked at him and smiled

“Gotta add just a little extra”

“Oh, my bad I guess I should’ve asked”

You furrowed your brow wondering what he meant until you looked down at the cup and saw that he had filled it nearly to the brim

“God damn Chris! I know you’re a giver but shit!”

You laughed out. Taking the cup, you brought it to your lips and sucked down about a quarter of the punch so that you’d have room to add your truly to the mix in the cup. 

“It will never not amaze me how you put away alcohol. It’s impressive honestly.”

You looked up at him after meticulously topping off your drink and finishing the truly in one go.

“It’s just cuz I’m fat, it takes a lil longer to metabolize for me. I feel it but not quickly.”

Chan rolled his eyes and looked at you with a slight glare.

“I’m kidding, damn! You don’t gotta eat me alive with your eyeballs”

“Y/N, you know I don’t vibe with you talking bad about yourself”

“But is it really talking bad about me if it’s a joke? Cause if that’s the case, I got a lot of beef with how you talk about yourself.”

Chan went to open his mouth but then immediately closed it after he considered that you were also right.

“That’s what I thought”

You smiled to yourself, finding amusement in the situation.

“Have you seen Ji, by the way? I wanna say hi to him before I forget tonight.”

Chan whipped his head towards you

“You plan on drinking that much??”

“Only if I get left unattended.”

“Well, then I guess that means you’ll be stuck with me for the rest of the night. And actually, I think he’s upstairs at the pong table.”

“Shall we go?”

Chan nodded and held his hand out. You eagerly took it while he led you through the house and up to the second level in the loft where the ping pong table was. There was already a game of beer pong in play so you just watched off to the side, noticing that Jisung had his turn next. Walking up to the edge of the table he noticed the two of you standing off to the side.

“Hey lovebirds! Lemme get this shot real quick”

Chan removed his hand from yours, Jisung’s comment making the blood rush to his ears. You paid no mind to it, even though you did kinda miss the feeling of his hand in yours. Jisung tossed his ball and it sank into a cup almost in slow motion

How is he always so good at this game?

He threw his fists in the air and walked over to you guys. Giving Chan a bear hug, he softened his body language when he turned to you.

“You made it!”

“Yes, I did. I figured you were right”

You giggled out.

“So what was with the hand holding? Y’all finally together?” 

Unbeknownst to you, Jisung was teasing Chan. Chan had told Jisung in passing that he may have a crush on you. You also had told Jisung about your crush on Chan but never expected him to do anything about it. Obviously, Jisung had other plans that he informed neither of you about. He was trying his best to take advantage of this information and see if he could get it out of him in front of you. But before Chan could answer, you but in, saving him from his own embarrassment.

“Ji, it’s not like that! He just gave me his hand so it’d be easier to come up here. There are hella people downstairs. It’s crazy!”

You widened your eyes as a small warning to Jisung not to push it any further. He laughed and ran his fingers through his hair.

“Uh huh, whatever you say.”

You sucked your teeth and looked down the hallway trying to hide your own embarrassment. Searching for another topic quickly your eyes widened again. 

“Ji! Is your balcony “off limits” tonight?”

“Yesss. Why you ask?”

“Well I might have a lil something something that I’d like to put to use”

“If you’ve got an extra joint to put in my nightstand by all means head to my room”

You hugged him, more than excited to get faded tonight as well. You looked over at Chan trying to get a gauge on where he was, but you couldn’t quite read him.

“Channnn, what you wanna do right now?”

“Huh, uhh, I kinda wanna play a round of pong”

You and Jisung spoke in unison

“For real?!”

Your mouth hung open and Jisung took the reigns

“Dude I haven’t seen you play literally since freshman year. You think you still good?”

“I used to whoop your ass at this Hannie, don’t get cocky now.”

Jisung laughed, bringing his hands together to rub.

“Well, if you’re playing that means Y/n’s gotta play too.”

“What?! Why me?”

“Cause baby, you never play and you should”

“Well, what’s in it for me?”

Chan set his cup down on the banister he was leaning on and faced you fully.

“How bout we make a bet? You be on Jisung’s team 'cause he’s gonna need help and then we can bet for the winner.”

Jisung’s mouth hung open.

“You’re wrong for that one man.”

Chan just laughed.

“If you guys win, you can pick a punishment of whatever for me. I’ll give you time to think about it since I know how you are. But if I win…I get to smoke whatever you brought over and..”

He paused, leaning down to your ear to whisper the next part

“...I get to fuck you.”

Your eyes widened and your heart rate sped up. Heat immediately pooled between your thighs and you weren’t sure whether it was the alcohol finally taking over, Chan’s bet throwing you into an overdrive, or both. You took a deep breath and held your hand out.

“Deal.”

Jisung was looking at the two of you, wondering what the second part of the bet was. Narrowing his eyes he walked back over to the table to set up the cups for another round.

Needless to say, having Jisung as a partner was straight ass. He’d get a few good shots here and there, but Chan was a beast at the game for no reason. You really didn’t stand a chance from the beginning. With one last cup on either side, it was your shot. Your ball hit the edge of the cup on Chan’s side and you dropped your head in defeat. 

You didn’t even wanna give Chan the chance to shoot his ball because you knew he’d make it anyway. So, you picked up the cup and began to bring it to your lips, but before you could, you felt liquid splash into your face. Looking down in the cup you saw the ping pong ball floating in your cup and you looked over a Chan to see his tongue in his cheek smiling. 

“Asshole.”

You called out over the music.

“Ji you fucking suck!”

You laughed while pushing him on his shoulder

“Hey, I never said I was good baby. I just said I liked to play.”

Jisung came to your ear to whisper something

“What was the second half of his bet?”

You moved so he could hear you.

“I’ll tell you later.”

You giggled and chugged back the liquid in the cup. Chan walked over to your side of the table and motioned down the hallway.

“Wanna go smoke?”

“Uhh, yeah sure. Ji, you cool if we go?”

“Yeah that’s fine, just don't fuck on my bed.”

“Ohhh my god, dude.”

Chan chuckled but you were already making your way down the hallway, Jisung called out to you

“Make sure to leave the joint please!”

“Got it dickhead!”

“Love you!”

“Sure you do”

You mumbled under your breath. Making your way to his door, you walked in and waited for Chan to catch up. Once he did, you locked the door to make sure no one else would try and come out to the balcony as well. Digging in your bag, you found the joint and left it on his bedside table, and left an extra lighter. Knowing Jisung he probably lost the last one anyway. Turning around, you looked at Chan.

“Okay so I only have my bubbler because my pipe is gross, are you cool with that?”

“It’s your weed how am I gonna tell you how to smoke it?”

“Well part of your bet was to smoke my shit so I just wanted to make sure”

You chuckled a bit to make sure he knew that your comment was said in jest. You walked to the balcony door and laid out your stuff so you could pack a bowl. Chan followed you outside but didn’t say anything. You could tell he wanted to but he was holding back.

“Sooo, about your bet…you wanna fuck me?”

“Y/N, I- I don’t know what came over me when I said that, I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable. Really it’s up to you and if you don’t want to then that’s cool too. Really, I don’t wanna ruin shit between us.”

You smiled to yourself as you finished filling the bubbler with water. 

“Who said I didn’t want to?” 

You looked up at him, eyes doe-like. The angle that you were at making him feel a little unhinged. You were on the floor setting everything up in fear of something falling out of your hands. So the way your eyes translated from the floor up to him, he felt his cock twitch behind the stiffness of his jeans.

“Wait, you want to?”

“Don’t you hear good? I just said that.”

You laughed again, your heart racing and now nerves were getting to you. You felt it on the tip of your tongue. You wanted to say it, to finally tell him but you didn’t want him to run away. 

Fuck it. 

“I… kinda like, like you like you. So I’m not terribly opposed to the idea of having sex with you. I want to actually”

Silence. Your heart dropped to your ass. You just fucked up. Handing the bubbler up to him, he simultaneously was coming down to your level to sit across from you. Wanting to change the subject you spoke again.

“Winner hits first. And please corner the bowl and not set the whole thing on fire, you dork.”

He looked up at you and something in his eyes had changed. He looked a lot less nervous. Before taking his hit he looked at you again and opened his mouth to speak.

“I like you like you too.”

He smiled and took a hit from the bowl. 

“Shut up.”

“I do!” 

Even in the pale moonlight shining on the both of you, you could tell he was going red again. 

“Gimme the weed before I start screaming. I can’t believe this. How long?”

You took a long hit. 

“How long what?”

Holding in the smoke and exhaling slowly, you handed the bubbler back to Chan. 

“How long have you liked me for?” 

“Since our second semester in freshman year…”

“Freshman year?!! Dude you’ve been holding out on me.”

He took his drag and handed the bubbler back to you. 

“What about you?”

You looked up at him, hinting at your answer. 

“It’s the same time wasn't it?” 

“…yeah.”

You bowed your head embarrassed once again

“So You have no room to talk!” 

Before you spoke you felt your body fall into its state of being crossed. Suddenly your eyes became heavy and you felt your reservations begin to melt away. 

“Yeah but you’re the man! You’re supposed to tell me first!” you said giggling

“Yeah, and you’re hot! So I was nervous every time I came around you. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t wanna mess up our friendship.” 

You took another hit before handing it back to Chan. 

“God. We’re both idiots.” 

You slammed your face in your palm and waited for Chan to finish. He went to hand it back but you passed your turn, knowing you had already hit your peak. 

“You finish it, I'm gone.” 

You watched him light the last of the bowl and something about the way he looked doing it sent palpitations straight to your core. You were fluttering around nothing and couldn’t do anything about it. You wanted him and you wanted him bad. But you refused to make the first move, you couldn’t. You had too much pride. You shifted your position, and the pressure from your legs made your eyes wanna roll to the back of your head. Watching him clear the smoke and blow it away from you sent you over the edge.

He’s so hot

As if he knew your thoughts, he turned to look at you, his tongue buried in his cheek again with a smug grin. 

“Whatcha thinking about Y/n?” 

“You.”

Your mouth moved before your brain did and you didn’t entirely regret it. 

“Really now?”

Chan leaned forward and you bit your lip looking at him through hooded eyelids. 

“Mhmm”

Chan placed the bubbler on the ground and you placed a hand on his knee, slowly making your way up his thigh. You looked at him again head on, and the look in his eyes was completely blown over by lust. 

“Why don’t you come over here”

He chided. His smirk annoyed you but also set you ablaze. You untangled your legs and moved to straddle yourself across his lap. You wrapped your hands around his neck, one of your hands finding solace near the nape of his neck playing with his hair. Your eyes dropped to his lips and traced his face back up to his eyes, teasing him while also searching for permission. But again, your pride wouldn’t let you make the first move. You wanted him to show that he wanted you, but you so desperately needed friction.

You moved to reposition yourself, but in doing so you felt his bulge. His hands moved down to your ass, grabbing handfuls of the fat. Your eyebrows furrowed upwards, desire wreaking your sense of self. 

“You’re hard already? I haven’t even done anything”

“Can’t help it when you’ve got the sexiest girl sitting in your lap. And this ass… fuck”

He moaned out and guided your hips to roll over his jean clad cock one more time. 

“I need you, Y/N. But I need you to tell me you need me too because once I start I won’t be able to stop.”

“Then have me however you want, Chris. I need you so bad. Please, make me feel good.”

You whined out, rolling your hips against him one more time. He grabbed your face and his lips were on yours. Years of hidden desire and pleasure unleashed the moment your lips touched. You both had wanted this for so long and now the feeling of finally having him on you was almost too much to handle. His hands found their way back down to your ass again, squeezing and molding the flesh however he pleased. You moaned into his mouth, the licentious amalgamation of his mouth and his groping was enough to have your panties begin to stick to your lips. 

Chan swiped his tongue across your bottom lip, seeking access to something that was already granted. Your tongues didn’t battle for dominance but rather battled all the lost time you two had created. There was lust, love, and a burning need for each other being expressed. His hands moved toward the hem of your shirt and you swiped it off your torso immediately. His hands reached around your back to remove your bra and as it fell his lips wrapped around your nipple. You moaned out, throwing your head back and grasping his hair in your hand.

“Shit~Chan.”

You felt him smile against you and you pulled away to look at him. He motioned you to move back, and as you stood up, he followed you and then pressed your back against the door to the balcony. His hands wrapped around your face and neck again, cradling you as he smashed his lips against your own. 

His hands traveled down your ass groping you once more, but what surprised you was what came out of his mouth next. 

“Jump.”

“What?”

“You heard me baby, jump.”

“But ion wann-”

“I said jump. I promise you, we’ll be fine.”

Shutting your brain off for a moment you listened to him. The tone of his voice sent a shiver down your spine and another flutter to your core. You jumped and instinctively wrapped your legs around his waist. He opened the door and placed you on Han’s bed. Chan crawled up to you, his face lingering over yours. He left a trail of kisses starting from your collarbone, down the valley of your breasts and he found himself again with his lips wrapped around your nipple. He continued his trail down to the hem of your skirt before you stopped him.

“Chan, wait. Ji said to not have sex in his bed.”

“What, are you gonna tell him?’

“Well, no.”

“Then we didn’t do anything in his bed.”

He smiled and almost made his way back to his destination before you stopped him with a whine.

“What is it, baby?”

“You still have your shirt on, it’s not fair”

Chan chuckled but swiftly removed himself from his shirt.

“Better?”

“Much.”

You smiled before he made his way back to the hem of your skirt and pulled it down exposing your black lace lined panties. 

“Aww, how cute. You were expecting something weren’t you?” 

“N-no. I just wanted to wear them.”

“Whatever you say, baby. But I have to ask, can I take them off of you now?”

“Fuck, please do.”

You moaned out and as soon as you gave the okay, you felt the cool air greet your wet pussy. 

“Such pretty little pussy. Can I eat you out, baby?”

“Fuckin hell Chris, please. Please do whatever you want to me. I want you in every way you can imah~!”

Before you could finish your sentence, Chan’s tongue swiped up your folds and his tongue played with your clit like a little bell. Swiping back and forth, up and down, he was eating you out as if you were his final meal.

“Shit shit shit, Chris. Oh my god”

He smiled against you.

“Fuck princess, say my name like that again.”

“Ch-chris! Shit, you’re so good at thi-”

You moaned out again, your back arching away from the bed as he entered two fingers into your wet cavern. Gripping at his locks, you felt the heat begin to stew in your lower body. It was like electricity was flowing through your lower half and you wanted nothing more than to implode on yourself.

“Channie, I’m about to cum, please don’t stop.”

“C'mon Y/N, you know what to call me. Don’t slip up or I’ll have to stop.”

“No no no Chris, please, please don’t stop. I wanna cum. I wanna cum so bad.”

“You sound so pretty when you beg.”

He dove back into your center, picking up the pace slightly as he curled his fingers inside of you. You began to flutter around him incessantly, your orgasm just on the precipice. The pressure that was building was almost unbearable and you couldn’t hold out for much longer.

“Chris, I-I”

“C’mon baby, cum for me”

That was all you needed. His permission and with that you came around him. It felt like such a big release. You couldn’t tell if your orgasm was that intense because what you had been wishing for had finally happened or if the fact of you being crossed was the culprit.

“Y/n, that has to be the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. Han’s gonna be upset though.”

You looked at him confused. 

“What do you mean”

Chan looked down and you followed his eyes to the puddle that was seeping through the duvet cover on Han’s bed. Mortified you shoved your face in your hands. You were about to apologize when Chan moved your hands away from your face.

“Don’t you even think about apologizing. That was one of the sexiest things you’ve done this entire night and I kinda want to see if I can make you do it again.”

He smiled at you, but you could see the devious intent behind his kind facade. 

“Now I’d love to sit and admire you, but I really need to be inside of you Y/N.”

Chan moved from the bed to peel off his pants and he climbed back over you.

“Condom?”

“I’m uh, I’m on the pill”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, 100%. I want to feel you, all of you.”

“Fuckin hell baby, alright.”

Chan looked at you one last time before lining himself up with your entrance. He teased just his head and you mewled against him, trying to shove yourself down onto him. He chuckled before fully sheathing himself within you. You both moaned as he entered you fully, your breath hitching as he did. He started with a slow pace, so slow that it was agonizing. 

“Chris. Please, faster. I can’t take it.” 

“I’m not sure if you can take it, baby. I need to stretch you out a bit more, get you used to me” 

You gripped at the sheets moaning again

“I can take it. Please, please just go faster! Have me however you want. Make me yours.” 

At the end of your begging, you saw a switch flip. As if the sweetness that was Chan faded away and the person you were left with was far more immoral. Left with someone stricken by the pangs of lust and willing to do anything to satiate it. 

“God, you’re so fuckin hot” 

Chan picked up his pace and you realized you really weren’t ready. Chan grabbed your hips and began drilling into you. His cock was reaching you in places you never thought of. The tip of it kissed your cervix with every thrust and the pain transformed immediately into paramount pleasure. You could feel the ridges of his cock sliding in and out of you and you felt your senses start to become overstimulated. 

“Chris, fuck. Fuck oh my god!”

Chan looked down at you 

“Yeah? You feel good baby?”

“Yes, oh my god. Fuck you’re so big” 

You began fluttering around him again and your nails found themselves sliding down his back. Marking him as your own. He moaned out at the stimulation. 

“Wanna make sure everyone knows I’m yours, baby?”

You whimpered with a nod and rolled your head back into the bed. Suddenly he pulled out of you. Before you could complain why he had you flipped over on your hands and knees and reentered you from behind. 

“Fuuuckk. Chris!” 

“Oh, baby. Look at this ass, you’re so fuckin sexy.” 

With each thrust, the fat of your ass rippled against him and it made him feel just a bit more untamed. Chan was grabbing at your ass, moving it counter with his thrusts. His hand then trailed down your back to wrap in your hair and when you looked up you saw yourself in the mirror behind Han’s bed. 

“Look at my baby. All fucked out just from me, hmm?”

All you could do was moan in response. Thoughts were not coming in full, especially with the view of yourself looking right back at you. 

“Too dumb to answer me Y/N? Have I fucked you dumb, baby?”

Moaning out again you found your voice 

“Yes, yes! Just for you. All for you. You make me feel this good, Chris.” 

Chan removed his hand from your hair and wrapped it around your neck instead, pressing on the pressure points underneath your jaw. You squeezed around him, the choking sensation bringing you to your peak faster than you thought. 

“Aww my baby’s a little filthy, isn’t she? She likes being choked. I wonder what other filthy things you want me to do to you” 

You moaned out his dirty talk bringing you right to the edge. 

“Chris, fuck. I’m gonna cum. Please, please let me cum.” 

You practically sobbed. He was making you feel so good and you couldn’t handle it. His hand came down to rub your clit and bring you to the release you’ve been craving since he entered you. 

“Cum baby. Cum around me. Just one more time I know you can do it.” 

And there it was. Just as abrupt as the last, your orgasm shook you. Your core vibrating with waves of pleasure and your pussy squeezing around Chan’s cock. You began heavy breathing as Chan fucked you through your orgasm. 

“Please, cum inside me, Chris. I wanna feel you fill me up.” 

That was what pushed him over the edge. You felt his ropes of hot cum splat and pool against your walls. His moans landing right in your ear with his head resting against your shoulder blades. He slowed his pace down, riding out the waves of his orgasm. Pulling out slowly he rolled over onto his back and you did the same. 

“You squirted again.”

“Again?!! What the hell.”

He laughed 

“I don’t know why you’re embarrassed by it. It tells me I’m doing a good job. So I’m not complaining.” 

“You’re gross” 

You punched his arm lightly. 

“Says the one that begged me to fill them up” 

“God please don’t repeat what I said out loud I’m gonna wanna run away.”

“But it’s so hot Y/N. You’re so beautiful and then the dirty little things that fall from your mouth. God. I can’t help but replay it.” 

You rolled on your side to look at him 

“Soo…”

“Sooour”

“I do not say it like that” 

“Yes, you do Chan.” 

Now the both of you were laughing both glowing in the aftermath of sex and finally confessing to each other. He moved a piece of hair from your face and looked at you with eyes full of wonder. 

“So I don’t want this to be a one time thing. I really do like you and I want us to continue this beyond just sex…so be my girlfriend?” 

“I think that’s the most forward I’ve ever heard you be.” 

“Oh shut up, just answer the question.”

“I’d love to” 

He made a small yes and double fisted at your answer 

“I think we should get food in the morning to celebrate our discovery about each other.” 

You laughed

“You’re such a dork. I think we should get food now because I am suffering severely from the munchies” 

A hearty laugh left him. His eyes crinkled and that smile that you love so much was plastered on his face. 

“One problem though.” 

He turned and pulled you closer to him, to which you moved to straddle him again. 

“We somehow gotta change Jisung’s sheets before he finds out.”

Chan sat up and you felt his cock begin to harden again. 

“We’ll I kinda want another round with you before we fully clean up.”

“I’m up for that” 

“Yeah?”

You nodded quickly and smiled at him before landing your lips on his. Grinding against him you felt him become fully hard again and before you two could continue you heard the lock on Jisung’s door turn to open. 

“Oh, c'mon! I thought I said to not fuck on my bed.”

#bang chan smut #bang chan x reader #bang chan imagine #stray kids smut #stray kids x reader #stray kids imagine #bang chan fanfic #stray kids fanfic #bang chan #kpop fanfic #kpop smut #kpop imagines

[nahoney22]

hi hello I don’t know how to use tumblr but your blog convinced me (I had no idea there was such a gold mine of E V E R Y T H I N G on tumblr whew). Anyway I’m a slut for some slow burn romance, can I request something with Echo? Maybe reader has known him since 501st days and liked him since, and learning he lived and joined the bad batch just made her NEED to find him again? Ps I love you, you’re a beautiful soul ok bye

All Roads Lead to You

Echo X F!Reader

word count: 1.7k

Learning from Rex that Echo was alive, you knew you had to find him and after so many years and confess how you really feel for him before it’s too late again.

warnings: Fluff, cute reunion, mutual pining, friends to lovers, first kiss, brief mentions of Echo at the citadel, mentions of death. Safe for work. Female reader. Not proofread.

authors note: oh my darling @burningfieldof-clover I’m so sorry for the delay 🙈 this got lost in my drafts. Enjoy 🤍

"Hey, are you alright?"

Rex's voice reached your ears, but the words remained trapped in your throat. You stood there, rooted to the spot, a whirlwind of emotions raging within you. Tears welled up in your eyes as a million thoughts raced through your mind. Then again, how does one react to the miraculous news that the man you had loved for countless years, the man you had believed to be lost forever, was now alive?

It took the gentle wave of a hand in front of your face to snap you out of your daze. Blinking back your tears, you focused on Rex, who wore a concerned expression. "You okay?"

"Echo's alive?" you finally managed to croak out, your voice trembling with a mixture of disbelief and hope.

A soft, reassuring smile graced Rex's lips as he nodded. "Yes, he's alive. He's been with another squad for quite some time now."

The shock of the revelation left you struggling to grasp the reality of the moment. Rex had delivered this life- news with such casual ease, unaware of the immense significance it held for you. He couldn't possibly fathom the depths of your feelings for the Arc Trooper.

Rex guided you to a quiet spot and began to unravel the incredible story of Echo's survival. To your horror, he painted a vivid picture of the ordeal Echo had endured from the Techno Union, how he was rescued and his choice about joining another squad. You truly had no ideal to cope with all this information, other than stare at Rex dumbfounded.

You had abandoned your position within the GAR years ago, unable to bear the pain of Echo's supposed death. But now, a chance had emerged, a chance to find Echo and to finally confess the love you had hidden away for years. However, the question of whether it was too late, whether Echo even held the same feelings for you, loomed large. But you had to find out one way or another. “How do I find Clone Force 99?”

Rex had been kind enough to provide you with the coordinates of the last known location Echo was heading to, and you had promptly booked a shuttle to get there. The journey was arduous, with doubt gnawing at your thoughts the entire way. Your mind whispered that this might be a foolish mistake, but the need to see Echo, to confirm his existence with your own eyes, outweighed all hesitation.

As the shuttle touched down on the unfamiliar planet, you felt a sense of disorientation and timid uncertainty. You questioned whether you should first explore your surroundings or make an attempt to find Echo yourself.

However, your gaze was drawn to the vast expanse of the ocean. It had been too long since you had witnessed such natural beauty, the sun's gentle rays dancing on the water's surface. The clean, fresh air was a stark contrast to the stuffy atmosphere of the deeper levels of Coruscant. You had overheard that this planet served as a refuge for many after the Clone Wars, and it seemed like the perfect place for it.

Lost in contemplation, you were brought back to the present by the presence of a small girl standing beside you, her bright brown eyes and short blonde hair catching your attention. She gazed up at you and inquired, "Are you okay?"

You offered her a warm smile and nodded. "Yeah, thanks. Just... taking it all in."

She eagerly inquired, "I love it here. Are you visiting someone or staying?"

Your soft laughter filled the air as you found her nosiness to be quite charming. Truth be told, you didn't see a reason to hide the purpose of your visit. "Visiting someone."

Her eyes lit up with excitement. "Who? Maybe I know them?" Her eagerness was infectious, and you couldn't help but notice the familiarity in her eyes, a certain resemblance that tugged at your memories.

You began to answer, "Alright, he's called Ec—"

But before you could finish, a commanding voice interrupted, "Omega, come. We need to get going." The voice sent a shockwave through your heart, and your breath caught in your throat. It was a voice you had longed to hear, one you thought you'd never hear again.

Omega let out a sigh and offered you an apologetic look before turning and hurrying to the source of the voice. As you turned to see the speaker, your heart skipped a beat. Echo stood there, so different yet unmistakably the same. His gaze on you was strong, as if trying to piece a picture together of who you were.

"But Echo, I was helping her find someone," Omega protested, gesturing towards you. Her words were distant as Echo's gaze locked onto yours, trying to recognise the changes in your appearance from the last time he had seen you. Your hair, clothing, and your civilian guise had replaced the uniformed visage he remembered.

Interrupting the profound moment, Omega's question rang out, but both you and Echo remained captivated by the connection rekindled in that shared gaze. Soon, the other members of Echo’s squad gathered by Omega's side.

Hunter's curiosity was piqued as he observed the unfolding interaction, and he couldn't help but ask, "What's going on?" Omega simply shrugged, her eyes trained on Echo and you.

With a few more tentative steps, Echo closed the distance between you, his head tilted slightly as if to analyse you, to confirm that it was really you. Your voice quivered as you managed to say, "Hi, Echo," and he echoed your name in a soft, heartfelt tone.

A warm smile graced his lips as he admitted, "I can't believe it's you."

A gentle, albeit slightly teasing, response escaped your lips. "I could say the same."

Finally, the emotional barrier gave way, and you found yourselves locked in each other's arms, holding each other as though afraid to let go. "

I've missed you so much," you whispered into his chest, your glistening eyes revealing the depths of your longing. The tears threatened to spill, impossible to hold back any longer.

And then, an unexpected comment from one of Echo's companions, "I didn't know Echo had a girlfriend,” broke the tender moment and you could not help but laugh.

“Let me introduce you to the others,” Echo pulls out of the hug, offers you a reassuring smile and guides you to his new comrades.

Later that evening after some good, really good food, yourself and Echo take a walk down by the shore. Making small talk and catching up on everything you both have missed, it felt like nothing changed between you both. It was everything you could have hoped for.

"I really can't believe you're here," Echo chuckled, a sense of disbelief lingering in his voice. "I never thought I'd see you again."

A soft smile graced your lips as you matched his pace, coming to a stop as you spoke. "Me either."

Then, with a touch of hesitation, you blurted out, "So, uh, are you seeing anybody?" The question took even you by surprise, and it seemed to have a similar effect on Echo. His curiosity was piqued as he observed your flustered expression.

He folded his arms over his chest, shaking his head. "No, are you?"

Your reply came swiftly, perhaps a bit too swiftly for your liking. "No." You didn't give yourself a chance to consider the implications of your response, and Echo didn't press further.

His next question, however, held a hint of teasing, and his voice carried a subtle tone of curiosity. "Oh yeah? And why's that?" It seemed as though he was studying you, and for a brief moment, you thought he might have moved a bit closer, but it was hard to tell if it was just your imagination.

Your breath wavered as you gazed into Echo's eyes, your heart racing just like the first time you had ever met him. It felt like the right moment to lay bare the truth, to let him in on the emotions that had been tucked away for far too long.

"I have feelings," you began, your voice steady but your eyes now avoiding his, "for you. I have feelings for you."

Echo's eyes widened, and he blinked in astonishment, his words caught in his throat as he grappled with the unexpected confession. "You have feelings," he repeats, taking a step closer, his voice barely more than a whisper, "for me?"

You dipped your head, nodding as you ran a hand through your hair nervously. "I always have, Echo. I've loved you for so, so many years." The truth hung in the air between you, a confession that had been kept in the shadows for far too long.

The crashing waves almost drowned out the deafening silence that followed Echo's lack of response to your confession. Regret started to surge through you, the weight of the confession now hanging heavily in the clear air, making the situation uncomfortable and awkward.

"Sorry, I should go," you quickly uttered, turning to leave, but before you could take a step, his hand swiftly caught your wrist, pulling you back towards him. You stumbled slightly, finding yourself suddenly close to his chest, confusion painting your eyes.

In a moment that felt like a dream, Echo leaned in, nose nudging against your own and his breath brushing against your face with his lips hovering close to yours. "Echo?" you whispered, a rush of chills coursing through your body.

"I love you too," he finally uttered, his eyes closing as his lips met yours in a tender, affectionate embrace. "I've loved you since the first night I met you," he confessed, his warm breath mingling with yours as his hand moved to your waist, drawing you closer.

The kiss unfolded slowly, a perfect and intensely romantic connection, a moment that exceeded all your imagined dreams of being with Echo. It felt surreal, but his touch, his lips, assured you of his reality. When the kiss finally parted, he breathed, "Stay with us. Stay with me."

In that instant, any doubt vanished. You knew you would never even consider leaving his side again. Echo's confession sealed the bond, and you embraced the certainty that this was where you belonged, in his arms.

Masterlist

Taglist if you want to be added or removed (please note I’ll remove you if you’re not interacting with my work 🤍)

Tags: @andyoufollowyourheart @littlefeatherr @kaitou2417 @eyecandyeoz @captxin-rex @jesseeka @ashotofspotchka @theroguesully @ladykatakuri @jambolska-grozdova a @arctrooper69 @padawancat97 @rain-on-kamino @either-madness-or-brilliance @staycalmandhugaclone @ko-neko-san @echos-girlfriend @fiveshelmet @dangraccoon @plushymiku-blog @chrissywakingup @sol-the-otter @pb-jellybeans @nunanuggets @sleepycreativewriter @erellenora @zippingstars87 @tech-aficionado @grizabellasolo @therealnekomari @tech-depression-inventory @brynhildrmimi @greaser-wolf @tinyreadersmur @seriowan @imalovernotahater @kaminocasey @marvel-starwars-nerd @ladytano420 @ladyzirkonia @raevulsix @whore4rex @imperialclaw801 @temple-elder @mysticalgalaxysalad @id-rather-be-a-druid @the-bad-batch-baroness @photogirl894

#echo x reader #bad batch echo #the bad batch #tbb echo x reader #the bad batch echo x reader #tbb #nahoney22 writes

[daisynik7]

“Into you” by Fabolous for Connie Springer- smut + fluff

(S4 connie ofc)

Into You

I think you’re truly something special, just what my dreams are really made of

Pairing: Connie Springer x f!reader

Rating: Explicit – MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Word Count: ~2.4k

cw: super fluffy, kinda cheesy, college au, modern day au, lots of basketball terms (applies specifically to NCAA and NBA), explicit language, smut – PIV sex (cowgirl position), implied creampie

Summary: You and Connie Springer have been close since childhood, growing up as next-door neighbors and best friends. The bond the two of you share is undeniable, but you’ve never been able to admit how deep your feelings are, either to yourself or to him. You continue to support him as his friend while he pursues his career as a basketball player, trying to get drafted into the NBA. Though the journey has its ups and downs, one thing is for certain: The two of you will always have each other, forever and ever. 

Author’s Notes: Hi anon! Thanks so much for requesting this song for the y2k karaoke party because it’s one of my FAVORITES! It really gives me Love & Basketball vibes, another favorite of mine that also happens to be a classic in the y2k era. This little fic is very loosely based off of that, so I hope you enjoy! Also, all the basketball/NBA tidbits are mostly from being with my boyfriend, who is a huge NBA fan, so yeah, sorry if any details are inaccurate lol. Likes, reblogs, and/or comments are always appreciated, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy! MDNI banner credit to @/cafekitsune. Header image from Pinterest (Slam Dunk manga).

“You have to pinky promise, okay?” Connie sticks his tiny finger out, wiggling it in front of your face, sucking on his cherry-flavored lollipop, lips and tongue-stained red. You’re both five years old, sitting cross-legged in the front of his yard, taking a break from playing hide-and-seek.

“What am I pinky promising?” you ask, voice squeaky and curious.

“That we’ll be best friends forever and ever! No matter what!” he exclaims, beaming at you with his eyes wide, twinkling earnestly. 

You only need to think for a few seconds before you’re hooking your pinky with his, committing to this promise for the rest of your lives. 

~~~

Ten years later, Connie makes it on the varsity basketball team in your high school. It’s rare for a freshman to make it to varsity at Ragako; the coaches must have seen that spark in him that you and his family have witnessed since he started playing at ten-years-old. You used to shoot around with him out in his driveway, where his father set up a little hoop. Eventually, the little one got upgraded to a real one, where the height was adjusted appropriately as Connie grew. You became his practice partner, no longer able to compete with him. Instead, you passed him the ball, watching in awe as he made shot after shot, sometimes deep from the street. He’d pick you up and spin you around, the two of you cheering together, impressed by his skills.

Year after year, he only improved. The way he handled the ball, expertly dribbling it between his legs, behind his back, one-handed, without looking. Or the way his feet gracefully shuffled along the court, the distinct squeak from his shoes echoing off the walls as you watch him on the bleachers, playing three-on-three against some of his buddies at the gym. One time, his friend Jean teases you. “You know, you should stop hanging around here or else people might think you’re his groupie.”

Before you can think of a smart comeback, Connie interjects, shoving Jean hard in the arm. “Hey! Leave her alone. I want her here. I only play like this when she’s around. And she’s not a groupie. She’s my best friend.” He wraps his arm around your shoulders, leading you towards the exit while Jean sputters apologies that go ignored. “Sorry about that,” he whispers to you. “Jean is an asshole. I want you around, got it? Forever and ever.”

You smile, leaning into him. “Forever and ever.”

~~~

It’s at the championship game during senior year that you realize that you’re in love with Connie.

Scouts have already contacted him about full-ride scholarships to university, recruiting him for their team. He’s the most celebrated point-guard in your school’s history, his average points and assists per game breaking records. Ever since he joined, your school has made it in the final round each year, last year resulting in a win, this year leading to a second. 

With seconds left on the shot clock, tie game, Ragako with possession, Connie makes his move. He inbounds the ball to his teammate, quickly taking position at the right wing, his sweet spot. As quickly as it leaves his hands, the ball is passed back to him. He shoots it, and as it flies out from his fingers into the air, the buzzer rings, and he makes it. The crowd goes wild; one side of the bleachers erupting into a frenzy, jumping up and down with excitement. Connie’s parents hug each other first, then surround you in their arms, elated. You don’t expect him to celebrate the win with you, not with his entire team huddling around him, splashing water on his head, cheering his name. Not with all the cheerleaders and fans gravitating toward him, eager to be in the presence of a sure-to-be star in the making. So, it surprises you when you see him maneuver his way through the crowd, heading straight towards you. He pounces on you, giving you the biggest, sweatiest hug with tears streaming down his face. It’s a split second where the surrounding noise goes blank and it’s just the two of you there, basking in each other’s warmth. Soon, his parents join you, also crying happily, and it’s in this moment that you realize this is where you want to be: with him. Forever and ever.

~~~

It's no surprise that the two of you attend the same college together. Most people will see it as you following him, but in actuality, Connie agrees to go wherever you go. Lucky for you both, your top choice is a D1 university where he’s offered a scholarship to play for their basketball team. It works out perfectly, as if it were meant to be. 

He’s busy from the get-go, practicing every day until the season starts in November. You become preoccupied with classes, and naturally, the two of you travel your different paths, meeting in the middle whenever you can. When the season official starts, you attend all his home games, cheering for him from the sidelines surrounded by the other students also chanting his name. Weeknights, he’s often too tired to hang out, retreating to his dorm room to fall asleep, only to repeat his busy schedule again the next day. He grows close with his teammates, spending most of his time with them instead of you, which is to be expected. After all, you and Connie are just friends. Sure, you’re completely and madly in love with him, but he’ll never know that. So, you watch from afar as he pursues his career without you in the way. It’s the way it has to be. 

By the time spring semester rolls around, you and Connie barely see each other. You’ll still text, sometimes video chat or talk on the phone. He mostly vents to you about teammates or coaches that have gotten on his nerves that day. He’ll catch you up on the other schools they’ve defeated or the ones that they’ve lost to. Your school’s record is quite good thanks to Connie, who’s only gotten better since high school. If they continue at this rate, they will win the conference tournament, meaning a trip to March Madness, the most prestigious competition in college basketball. Most importantly, it’s one step closer to the NBA.

As expected, the team does win the conference tournament. That night, the entire campus is lively with students buzzing in school spirit, ready to party the rest of the weekend. All you think about is calling Connie to congratulate him, hear his voice and tell him that you’re so proud of him. You debate with yourself for nearly fifteen minutes, staring at his name on your screen, fingers so close to dialing his number. You decide not to go through with it, certain that he’s too busy with his team, too busy with his fans. He’s not thinking about you, not when his whole world is about to change. And you can’t blame him; you’re just friends, and this is the way it has to be.

The following night, your school organizes an impromptu homecoming for the basketball team, welcoming them as they arrive on the bus, fresh from their championship win. They have a  couple days of rest before they leave for the NCAA tournament, but you’re sure they’ll be busy with press and practice until then. You’re not there to greet them when they step off the bus; instead, you’re sulking in your room, buried under the covers, feeling sorry for yourself for ever falling in love with Connie Springer. It’s a sad, pathetic sight, but at least you’re alone for the weekend to do it while your roommate is out visiting her boyfriend out of town. 

You’re surprised to see Connie’s name flash on your phone a few hours later. You let it ring twice before answering. “Hello?”

“Where are you?” he asks. There’s shuffling in the background, as if he’s walking outside. 

“I’m in my room.”

“I’m coming over now.” He hangs up, not giving you any time to respond. You sigh, mentally preparing yourself for what’s to come.

When you open the door to let him in, he wraps his arms around you in a snug embrace. “I missed you.” He pulls off to hold you by the arms, glaring. “Why didn’t you greet me off the bus?”

“I…” you start, unsure how to respond. 

“I was looking for you and you weren’t there. Where were you?”

“I was studying in the library.” This might be the first time you’ve ever lied to him. You feel guilty and gross. 

“Oh,” he says sadly, still staring at you. 

“Congratulations, by the way. It was an amazing win.” You give him a weak smile, blinking away the tears welling in your eyes. You don’t even know why you’re crying; Connie did nothing wrong. You’re letting your emotions get the best of you, and you can’t help but crumble in front of the only person who knows you better than you know yourself. 

“I don’t care about that right now. I care about you. What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing, Connie, I promise.”

“Don’t promise me shit like that. I know you’re upset. Tell me. Please.” His eyes search yours, desperate for an answer. 

You look at his feet, fixating on his shoes, scuffed on the sides from playing. Tears start to drop from your face and on the carpet. “I just…I missed you too. I miss you, Connie. I…I love you.” The confession slips from your mouth in a sniffle, and you’re so upset with yourself for letting it slide in this crucial moment. Neither of you needs the drama of your unrequited love right now. Not you, knowing he’ll be leaving again soon, and especially not him, who has bigger and better things to focus on. 

He gapes at you, stuttering, “You love me?”

You nod, biting your lip.

“Like, love love? Or love like a friend?”

You’re tempted to lie, just to make it easier. But you owe it to Connie to be honest with him. “Love love.”

His mouth is open, eyes bugging out, completely shocked by your admission. Before he can respond, you add, “I’m sorry, Connie. I shouldn’t have told you this right before the tournament, but…I don’t know. It just came out. I’m sorry.”

He stammers, “You’re sorry? This is the best fucking thing I’ve heard in my entire life.” He breaks into a smile, laughing hysterically, an even more bizarre reaction. 

You cross your arms, getting impatient with his ridiculous behavior, eventually grabbing his shoulders to shake him out of his fit. “Connie, what the hell?!”

He wipes his eyes, crying from giggling, beaming at you. “I’ve been in love with since we were kids. Been dreaming of hearing you say that since we were five-years-old.” He hugs you tightly, nuzzling his nose to the top of your head. “I love you and I want to be with you. Forever and ever, right?”

You nestle into his chest, inhaling the familiar scent you missed since he’s been gone. “Forever and ever.” 

~~~

The two of you spend the night together, making love for the first time. His lips are soft against yours, and you smile into his kiss, remembering the day you pinky promised that you’ll be best friends forever and ever, no matter what. His lips were stained red with cherry-flavored candy, looking sickly sweet as he smiled at you. And as you kiss him now, he tastes just as sweet as you imagined he’d be after all these years. 

You kiss him sloppy as you ride his lap, his cock buried deep in your pussy, filling you up to the brim. He moans your name into your mouth as he laps at the saliva collecting on your tongue, slurping your spit, swallowing it thickly. “Fuck,” he groans, hands gripped to your hips, rocking you back and forth on his thighs. “I’ve dreamed about this for so long, baby. So long.”

“Me too,” you whisper, starting to bounce on him, close to your climax. 

“What would you think about? Tell me,” he demands, thumb pressed to your clit, rubbing it raw.

You whine from his touch, increasing your pace, resting your head on his shoulder. “You and me, just like this,” you huff, short of breath. 

“Yeah? You thought about me deep inside you, huh? Fucking this sweet pussy until you come all over my cock, huh?” He thrusts up into you, grip tightening, fingers digging into your flesh. He’s close too, you can feel it.

You moan into his skin, sweat beading on your forehead, throwing your ass back against him in tandem with each pump of his cock. A few more strokes and the two of you come together, the mess spilling onto the sheets as soon as he pulls out. 

He wipes you down with tissues and baby wipes you have handy on your bedside drawer. As soon as you’re both clean, he cradles you in his arms, spooning you from behind. 

“I know this is going to sound super cheesy, but I truly feel like a winner now,” he says, kissing the nape of your neck. 

You chuckle, squeezing his hand in yours. “Wait until you win March Madness. Then you’ll really be a champ.”

“Even if I lose, I’ll still have you. And that’s been my dream all this time.” 

You shift your body to face him, gazing into his eyes. “I thought your dream was to make it into the NBA?”

He smiles, booping you on the nose. “It’s part of the dream, sure. But I wouldn’t be anywhere near where I am now if it wasn’t for you. You kept me going all these years. Knowing you were always on my side gave me the strength I needed to get here. As long as I have you, I’ll be living the dream.” He kisses you on the forehead. “I’m going to love you for the rest of our lives.”

“Forever and ever?”

“Forever and ever.”

~~~

In an upset, your school loses in the Final Four. It’s the furthest they’ve gotten in university history, and a large part of that is due to Connie and his extraordinary performance as their point guard. His efforts do not go unnoticed; his coaches and many prospective agents have contacted him, encouraging him to apply for the NBA draft. 

June of the same year, Connie Springer is drafted tenth in the first round and you’re sitting right beside him with his parents, cheering for him. Just as you have throughout all these years, and just as you will for the rest of your lives. Forever and ever. 

#connie springer #connie springer smut #connie springer x reader #connie springer x you #connie springer x y/n #Connie springer fluff #connie smut #connie x reader #Connie x you #aot smut #aot fluff #attack on titan fluff #attack on titan smut #y2k karaoke party #milestone event

[happyhauntt]

➡ gold rush masterlist.

here you can find all content for the gold rush universe, a nikolai lantsov fanfiction featuring anya kamenev, an original character. their story is told through a series of connected one-shots and is cross-posted on ao3.

─── summary:  She calls herself Anya Kamenev, the future Duchess of Balakirev. It doesn't matter where she comes from, or where she goes  ━  there will always be a child named Nastya in her heart, a little girl with grubby hands and a sweet smile, the kind who climbs trees and runs, giggling, through the rose garden. They call her soldier. Nobility doesn't save you from the draft, and Anya would sooner be an army grunt than the alternative. If she must go to war, then she'll do it well  ━  for this country that sits in her gut like a stone, for the family who will always be proud of her, always, until the first day she makes a man bleed without a weapon in her hands. She'll swallow that secret until the day she dies. Let her be a soldier. He calls her darling. The only one to know the truth of her, the only man who looked at her with gentle eyes and swore he'd give up his throne just to spend forever in her arms. But they are both too smart to be so naive  ━  their country is an open wound, and the pair of them have duties to fulfil. He, to rule. She, to fight. It doesn't matter what she calls him. Pirate, privateer, prince, sobachka. As many names as faces, her heart aches for a man she knows she can never truly have. Nikolai Lantsov, the hope of Ravka. Anya Kamenev, Ravka's bane. Oh, what a pair they make.

─── warnings: disability rep, ptsd & mental health, canon-typical descriptions of injury, war, trauma. angst, fluff, more angst. swearing. specific warnings will be included in each fic.

𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠. works will be posted in chronological order of the timeline.

forgiveness with teeth [1.6k] ➡ there's something about nikolai lantsov that makes her want to break things. (pre-shadow & bone.)

give your tears to the tide [2.8k] ➡ nikolai learns the truth at the heart of anya, for better or worse. (pre-shadow & bone.)

and i am coming home to you [2.5k] ➡ there are some things that cannot be saved. nikolai swears she won't be one of them. (pre-shadow & bone.)

if my wish were granted [1.4k] ➡ anya likes teasing nikolai. it’s far too easy to get under his skin. this time, enjoying some peace aboard the Volkvolny, anya claims that she prefers sturmhond’s rugged looks over nikolai’s princely features. (pre-shadow & bone.)

stay, i pray you [2.1k] ➡ nikolai has a decision to make. anya makes it for him. (during seige & storm.)

keep my hand in yours [2.4k] ➡ nikolai sees anya all dressed up for the first time since they were children. he doesn't handle it well. (post ruin & rising/rule of wolves.)

everything i touch turns sick with sadness [3k] ➡ anya still believes, sometimes, that nikolai made a mistake in marrying her. he’ll spend every day for the rest of their lives proving her wrong. (post ruin & rising/rule of wolves au.)

garnet & silver [0.9k] ➡ requested. nikolai has a gift for anya. (post ruin & rising/rules of wolves au.)

five fun facts about anya.

modern!anyalai headcanons.

𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐬.

gifsets ➡ 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7

videos ➡ 1 / 2 / 3

misc. ➡ 1 / 2

#* masterlist. #nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov fanfic #nikolai lanstov x reader #grishaverse masterlist #shadow and bone fanfic #six of crows fanfic #shadow and bone masterlist #shadow and bone oc #nikolai lantsov oc #* fic: gold rush. #* chapter update.

[lauriegraham01]

you're still around | natasha romanoff

pairings: natasha romanoff x gn!reader (one instance where it can be interpreted as fem!reader)

summary: "i know better but i still feel you all around." you never envisioned a life spent with natasha, so what do you do now that the aftershocks of her death has uprooted your life?

wc: 2.5k

a/n: I cannot speak of my grief over natasha, so enjoy this instead! + this is me cleaning out my drafts so im sorry if quality is trash </3

You never loved the beach. You never loved the beach until you met her.

Having been assigned on a mission together in Los Angeles, you found yourself on the sand far more times than you cared for.

"Oh, you're being ridiculous it's not that bad."

"I'd rather die."

Even behind her tinted aviators, there was no denying that signature playful glint shinning in her eyes. She loved how you had a flair for the dramatics, always teasing how she's the only one who could ever put up with it.

"Look, it's only for a couple of hours until we make sure that Stavros meets his guys here."

"And not a second more."

Hours slipped away as you two soaked up the sun. You could live in this moment forever. The sound of waves crashing against the shore matched the ferocity of your heart beating in your chest. You were full of love, consumed by it. Yet how could you not.

The way her sun-kissed skin seemed to soak up the sun, how her hair danced in the gentle ocean breeze, and how peaceful she looked as she she slept in the sand.

You feared the inevitable- dreaded it even. Yet lying next to her, unable to look away, you knew it was too late.

Your bond only continued to grow, spending more time both on and off the clock. Using any excuse to be near each other in hopes of learning something new, even though that seemed impossible. Natasha was the first person you felt like you could be completely open and honest with. You were surprised yet relieved when she told you she felt the same way.

Things in those days were still fresh, you both were equally fully of worry and reservation. The fear of ruining an already incredible bond preventing either of you from pursuing something greater. There was a silent understanding of this- despite the circumstance, you and Natasha continued on as you knew best. Pushing each other to be greater, being each others cheerleader, and truly wanting the best for each other after seeing the potential you both possessed.

Each moment shared together played on repeat in your mind until you could see her again. Late nights spent sparring in the gym, pool games at dive bars, and endless romcom movie marathons that only were only respected by Wanda.

The endless messages exchanged during meeting whenever Steve would go on forever. The getaways spent upstate thanks to Natasha swiping the keys to one of Tony's many many cars. The late night spent revealing sins to each others, and the darkest memories and fears that haunted us. The comfort that lasted till morning when you awoke to another sunrise wrapped in each other's arms. Each moment spent with her was truly magical.

You felt yourself falling deeper in love with Natasha with each passing day. You had reached a point where you couldn't remember life without her by your side, and the thought of having to go back to that terrified you both.

"I don't want this to be what splits us." Running your hands over your face, a tired sigh escaped your lips. The stress of the Sokovia Accords had everyone on edge and you and Natasha were no exception.

"I don't see why it has to," Natasha exaggerated. Her patience growing thinner after the countless back and forth and still not seeing eye to eye.

"You know why," you objected sharply. "it's not right, Nat. You know that." Your eyes met her with an unwavering look of defiance. There was no swaying you to change your mind. She always knew you were so stubborn.

"I know," she admitted.

"Then why are you signing?!" Throwing your hands in frustration you don't immediately notice the boom in your voice as you spoke.

It wasn't until Natasha swallowed thickly before averting her gaze towards the ground that you realized your mistake. Your shoulders slump as you let out a tired sigh. You felt that you were at a crossroads, and there was no right answer in which way you moved.

"I want us to stay together, it doesn't matter how," she emphasized, the edge in her voice unmistaken as she enunciated each word. Green eyes looked up at me through silky lashes, behind a determined look I saw the sadness in the mist of green eyes.

In that moment you felt all your fears cement into reality. You knew there was no way both of you could win and your heart broke as you both pledged your allegiance to opposing sides of another mans war.

Looking up at her you saw the same exact heartbreak in her eyes. You reached your breaking point, as the room seemed to close in you bolted out of your seat and aimed for the door. As your hand squeezed the handle, you hesitated- for a brief second. You didn't want to walk out on her, it was the last thing you ever though of doing.

Sparing her a final look, you see the stoic expression on her face. You always knew she was stubborn, but the hardened expression on her face only further proved what you already knew. There was no changing her mind, just as much as there wasn't changing any yours.

"It does to me."

You fought on opposing sides of a pointless war. When the dust settled, there was no morning glory to be found in its aftermath. Just bitter resentment and heartache as the family you've fought beside for years was no more.

Now considered an enemy of the state, you fled the country, not knowing if you would ever come back. By the time Steve had told you how Natasha helped him and Bucky flee, it was already too late. You were thousands of miles away and burned too many bridges that could never be crossed over again.

You thought about writing, but what could you say? Too much was said and done last, you didn't think there was ever coming back from that. You spent the next two years trying to erase the memory of her. Proving quite difficult as you saw her in everything, her love still being the fire that kept you warm even miles away.

You dreamt of a time where you would come face to face with her again. You've rehearsed the apologies you would say and the confessions you would lay bare if you ever were to see her face again. Yet all that flew out of the window as she stood in front of you, finding you amidst the crowded market square.

"Natasha?" Despite her hair now blonde and much shorter, you still could recognize her face in any crowd.

"Just shut up." She said, catching you off guard.

Taken aback, you sighed deeply as you gave her your full attention. Taking in her full appearance, you note her lose tank and green skirt that flowed with the summers breeze. You don't think you've ever seen her in something that colorful. Despite all the changes, she's still Natasha. You still saw the girl you fell in love with all those years ago on that beach.

The crease between her eyebrow reveals how Natasha seemed deep in thought. Hesitant to speak what's on her mind as she darted between your eyes, weighing her options.

"I never wanted to rely on anyone for anything," she began. "I thought that if I could be independent and alone then I could avoid the pain that comes from losing people."

Fidgeting with her fingers and from the bite marks on her lip, you sensed the urgency behind her words.

"I don't wanna live like that anymore," she confessed urgently. As if she could no longer bear having such a brilliant truth hidden for a second longer. "I love you y/n. I think I have for a long time now but I was just too scared to admit it- and I know things are complicated but i'm ready for this. I want this. I want us-" Stopping suddenly, feeling breathless the longer she looked in your eyes. "You. I want you."

"I love you."

Time seemed to slow down in that moment. The sound of thousands of people packed in the Brazilian market faded to nothing as you looked at her, her words echoing in your head. If Nat had felt even an ounce of relief from getting the truth of her chest, her face didn't show it. She had this look on her face, you studied for it moment before you realized what it was- fear.

She thought you would walk away. That you would scoff at her confession, see through her for what she thought she was, flawed.

She couldn't have been farther from truth. Her eyebrows furrowed in mix of shock and confusion when she felt a finger tilting her chin upward. Swallowing thickly, she awaited cruel rejection. However, seeing the adoration behind your eyes, she let herself believe that maybe there was some room for redemption. The corner of her lip curled upwards before the both of broke into breathless laughs, the twinkle in her eyes making your heart soar as it sang Natasha's name.

"I love you too."

After that, you never knew a life without Natasha. Having fought in Wakanda and losing so much during The Blip, you two became each other's anchor.

Never wanting to be away from her again, you moved back to New York. You helped direct the remaining Avengers as missions were still executed and help was needed everywhere. Despite the darkness that the world was wrapped up in, you and Natasha were each other's lighthouse, guiding each other back to shore.

It wasn't until Scott came barging on the compounds door and the the rest of the team got together for the time heist that hope would shine for the first time in a long time.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come instead," you lowly ask as you and the rest of the team prepare for the time heist.

"I'm gonna pretend to not be offended by that." Clint chimed in as he made his way past us.

"Shut up Barty, please!" He throws his hands up in surrender as he's met by your annoyed gaze. You don't miss hearing Bruce chuckle as he typed away on the control panels.

Facing Natasha again, you're met with her amused smile as she looked up at you.

"I promise I'll be fine," she insisted. "Clint's got my back-right Barty?!"

Clint just grunts in acknowledgment.

"Trust me?" Raising her eyebrows as she lifted her open palm toward you.

Taking her hand and turning it over, you placed a chaste kiss onto it.

"Damn right I do," you say, never breaking eye contact.

Not missing the way her cheeks flushed at the sudden gesture you bring her in and capture her lips in a soft kiss. Earning a wolf-whistle from Tony in the process.

As you all stood in a circle on the platform, ready to go back in time in hopes of bringing everyone back, your eyes meet Natasha's again. Heart fluttering as it did everytime you looked at her.

"See you in a minute." Her eyes glimmering as she smiled at you.

Those words replayed in your head in a constant loop for months. You never got to say goodbye, and that's what killed you the most.

You never were good with grief, and having lost so many people because of Thanos, you spiraled into a depression that lasted the better half of a year.

Yet when you were ready to face that grief, it was Yelena who was there for you. She was one of the few people around who understood what it meant to lose Natasha. To have known and loved her so intimately, and have that taken away.

Staring out into the same sea at the same beach where you first fell for your blue-jeaned baby, as comforting hand on your shoulder shakes you from your thoughts. Startled by the sudden presence your eyes look up frantically to meet with Yelena's concerning gaze.

"Hey," her voice soft, "you okay?"

"Hey-um, yeah, i'm fine really." You shake your head furiously as you blink away your tears. Meeting her eyes again, the love and sincerity that poured behind Yelena's eyes was enough to make the damn burst.

"No," you croak as a sob wracks itself out of your body. Engulfing you in her arms, you burrow your head in Yelena's shoulder as grief's uncharted weight washes over you.

"I know what she meant to you. She told me about a month after taking down the Red Room. I never would've taken her for a U-hual lesbian."

A laugh escapes your lips. Looking back on it, things did happen rather quickly. After taking down Dreykov, she felt a new found purpose in life, a need to reconnect with family and loved ones.

"Yeah, well it was a long time coming," you let out softly. You pull out of her arms, wiping away at your dried tears.

"Thank you, Yelena. I know what she meant to you too."

You don't miss the sadness that flickers in Yelena's eyes.

"She meant to look for you earlier. She told me about you while staying at one of Tony's safe house", you sigh reflecting on the confessions said that night. The fire and a shared bottle of whiskey having kept you both warm that night. "She never stopped thinking about you."

"I know," she affirms, voice shaky. "Thank you."

You offer her a soft smile, eyes crinkling as you giver her arm a reassuring squeeze. Yelena then locks arms with you, a sudden peace washing over you like the waves ashore you were watching.

"Are you gonna be okay?" Looking over at her, you note the blonde wisps of hair that moved with the wind.

"Are any of us?" She doubled back with a smirk, earning a chuckle from you.

A brief silence falls over you two. One full of reluctant acceptance as it is with sadness.

"I promised I wouldn't say goodbye." You barely heard her. You almost thought you hadn't from how low she spoke.

Looking back towards the water, if you didn't know any better you'd think she was still around. If you thought about it long enough, you could still make out Natasha's footprints scattered across the sand. Or how graceful she looked dancing in the sand.

You could hear the sweetness of her laughter as not even the call of the seagulls could sing a finer melody.

You can still feel the warmth of her pirate smile, shinning bright as she looked at you from over her shoulder.

As the wind picked up you closed your eyes and let the memories of your sweet summers spent with Natasha flash before you. If you didn't know any better, you'd think she was talking to you now. Through the way the wind echoed her whispers of "I love you."

Opening your eyes, the warmth and love of those memories still sprout inside you, even as your met with the sight of the beach's barren winter. She's still here, always with me.

"Maybe you don't have to."

You know better, but you still feel her all around.

#marvel #marvel fanfiction #black widow #black widow x reader #natasha romanoff #natasha romanov #natasha x reader #natasha x you #natasha x gn!reader #natasha romonova

[undobutton]

White Towels! Damien x Reader

warnings: Swearing ofc, yelling, arguments, suggestive, mentions of sex, no actual sex.

genre: fluff? established relationship

wc: 702

characters: #1 prince of hell! Damien LaVey!

synopsis: You and Damien argue over who gets the top bunk

a/n: I wrote this forever ago, it's been in my drafts for ages but now it's all done! i will cry when it comes time to update my masterlists I colored what you say since there's a lot of dialogue. Damien. Reader.

“NO, YOU FUCK HEAD!”

“NO, YOU FUCK HEAD!”

“JUST SLEEP ON THE BOTTOM BUNK!”

“NO!”

“WHY NOT! YOU’RE ALWAYS FINE WITH BEING UNDER ME!”

“OH HARDY-HAR-HAR!”

“IT’S TRUE!”

“WERE GOING TO BED, NOT FUCKING!”

“THAT’S WHAT YOU THINK”

“YEAH WELL- what?”

“what?”

“What did you just say Damien?” You ask, arms crossed, throat sore.

The two of you are out on a mini vacation for a date, it was your anniversary gift to him (The ability to gain a reputation for trouble in another dimension before blowing it up.) 

But the hotel you’re staying in only has bunk beds for sleeping arrangements. And this dimension has bunks for most- if not all arrangements. Bunk sofas, bunk chairs, bunk banks That Damien is especially excited about, bunk bookshelves, bunk airplanes, and much more. 

But unlike everything else where you two are able to go for top or bottom without so much as thinking about it. The top bunk is where you both want to sleep. 

Maybe it has something to do with the fact that you have yet to share a bed outiside of sex. but the idea of sleeping together has been skilfully avoided, causing this mess.

“What I said is not important! What is important is that you let me sleep on the top bunk!” He pouts. matching your mannerisms.

“No it’s not! this is so insignificant!”

“Well, if it’s so insignificant then lemme  sleep on the top!”

“No!”

“Well I’m a the prince of Hell so-”

“Put your royalty card right back up your ass!”

“Put it there yourself!”

“don’t threaten me with a good time LaVey!”

“Don’t use your horny on my threats!"

“You started it!”

“No!”

“Yes!"

“No!”

“Yes!”

 As you two pointlessly argue Damien steps closer and closer, you do the same. Until you’re practically chest to chest glaring into eachothers eyes. 

The funky part about this is that neither of you are mad. Damien lost the ability to cover his feelings for you with rage ages ago, and you just think he’s too pretty to be mad at. So this is truly just a fun game you’re playing. 

Looking into his golden eyes, you remember that. The thought makes you smile. He frowns in response.

“What’s so funny, fucknut?”

“Well-” You start.

“Uhm, I-I have towels.”

You both look to the door and see a bear-dog hybrid (don’t ask) holding white towels with a look of terror on their face. Temporarily dropping the ‘argument’ you and Damien head over to them.

“I don’t mean to interrupt. I just forgot to drop them off earlier. And then I heard you two arguing and I thought I should leave you alone. But what if you got-”

“Give us the fucking things and scram. We’re busy.” Damien growls. Making the poor bear-dog whimper. 

“Thanks!” You say taking the towels off their hands. They look at you and relax a bit.

“A-also, I don’t mean to pry but. Why not share the top bunk? This hotel was made for couples on double dates…”

You and Damien look at each other, heat capturing your faces.

“Uhm… go away please.” You beam. Taking a step closer to your boyfriend.

“Oh yes of course! Be sure to call down if you need anything!” They say running off.

“Do you want to share the bed with me Damien?” You ask. 

The demon blushes, leaning against the white bunk couch next to the door. 

“I don’t fucking know… I’ll share the bed with you if you want.” he mumbles.

You sigh, placing the towels on the living room table. 

“I want to sleep on the top bunk, and if there just so happens to be a spicy red adult who is already laying in that bed. Then I think I’d be okay with that. I might actually prefer to have him there than sleep alone in that big bed.” You state, batting your eyelashes at him. He smirks, walking to sit on the bottom bunk of the couch.

“Well, I wanna sleep on the top bunk too. And… I’ll beat you there!” He yells, taking off.

“Hey no fair!” You shout after him. as your joint laughter fills the room. 

reblogs greatly appreciated! -button🌺

#damien lavey #damien lavey x reader #damien lavey monster camp #damien lavey monster prom #monster camp #monster prom #monster camp x reader #monster prom x reader #monster prom 2

[inkandgeese]

--Writeblr Intro--

Hey there!! I'm Ash (she/her)! I'm a first year architecture student who has always loved writing so I thought i'd join the writing community here!

Some things about me and my writing:

- Because of school, I definitely won't be super consistent with posting! However, I will always come back eventually, I promise

- Most of my stories are fantasy as I just LOVE the idea of magic

- I absolutely adore god awful protagonists. give me main characters that are terrible people, i beg you

- I write for fun!! Because of this, most of my stories aren't super far along in the process as i love to jump around in them

Under the cut will be some short WIP intros!!

Jaded Ashes - a low fantasy/ magical realism novel

Status: Drafting (my current nanowrimo project)

As a senior in high school, Jade wants to leave her small town more than anything. Years of feeling left out and abandoned have left her with nothing but resentment towards this town. However, after picking up a mysterious lighter, Jade starts to see dark creatures that feed off of the negative emotions of the people living there. After one saves her, Jade makes a simple deal with it: It will protect her from any possible harm, and she will help it destroy others of its kind. Working with Elliot, a boy from her school that Jade always tried to avoid, she starts to destroy these creatures little by little. The more time goes on, though, the more Jade can't help but wonder- would it be better to just burn everything down and start again?

- The best way of describing this story is that it is about two incredibly lonely people who desperately want to be seen for who they truly are

- While there ARE magical elements in this story, they almost aren't the focus. The focus is very much on Jade and her mental state. The magical elements are mostly there as a way to express those things in a different way

- This story in general deals a lot with mental illness! It has a very depressed and self destructive main character who does not appreciate it when others tell her what to do

Manic - an adult fantasy novel

current status: brainstorming/revamping

This story is currently undergoing a HUGE revamp, so I unfortunately won't be able to say much but i KNOW i am going to mention mira many many times so i thought i'd at least introduce it!

Mira, a knight, wants more than anything to be a hero. Something that is untouchable by time and remembered forever. However, after being attacked by a monster, Mira realizes a terrible, terrible thing: she herself is being turned into a monster as well. Infected with no chance of a cure, Mira knows what she will do anything to keep herself from dying, even if that includes sacrificing the entire world.

- This is planned to be a trilogy

- A HUGE part of this series is the idea of what makes somebody human and where that line is drawn between human and monster

Some other WIPS:

Bella and Iris

- This is another fantasy novel. In a world in which most gain their magic from plants, two characters gain their magic from death, either from killing or by drawing it from the dead. Without meaning to, Bella and Iris get pulled into a plot between gods that they had never wanted to be involved with in the first place.

Ophelia

- A lighthearted fantasy novella consisting of short vignettes following Ophelia in her small cabin throughout the winter. She meets plenty of mythical creatures in the forest that bring far more problems than help.

#writeblr #writeblr intro #my writing

[fuckyeaharizonacoyotes]

Unfortunately, my first post back is also my last one. There is a part of me that feels some guilt for not updating this account since 2017, so apologies for not sticking around.

With that said, I would like to thank everyone who has ever interacted with this blog.

...

I became a fan in the summer of 2009. I spent that summer trying to remember names and faces, reading up on the team’s history and figuring out what games I hope my family and I would attend. Every time we went to a game, the Coyotes would win- I literally thought I was some sort of good luck charm. Delusional, I know, but it only fueled my love for the team. Everything really felt official when my dad got me an Oliver Ekman-Larsson jersey after the 2012 playoffs. A player who I’ve watched get drafted, get called up and score his first goal. My favorite player. A couple years later, I got the jersey signed by him, something so simple that I will cherish forever.

At the moment, I feel numb. I know this sounds selfish considering how fortunate the Coyotes were given the multiple chances compared to other teams. Relocation of any team sucks even when I say that as a Coyotes fan. Now I can say that I share their pain, unfortunately. It’s almost as if these past few years of constant relocation rumors would have helped me somewhat prepare for if or when the time comes. Needless to say, I’m am not prepared.

As time winds down, it will slowly start to hit me that this is actually happening to a team that has meant so much to me for half of my life. I got to witness countless goals, comebacks, hat tricks (one of them being Shane Doan’s) and whiteouts. These memories will always live with me and I am forever grateful to have experienced these moments either in person or from the comfort of my home. I’m also grateful for the players who had stuck with this team through thick and thin. The ones who signed on when things weren’t looking up, the ones who continued to play hard in the mist of losing streaks and especially the ones who said they wanted to stay a Coyote.

I know no one from the team will read this but from the bottom of my heart, thank you. Thank you for giving me something to cheer for and for the memories. It truly means more than anyone could ever know.

With tonight being the last Coyotes game, here is my final LET’S GO COYOTES! ♥️

#misc #arizona coyotes

[codename-adler]

Sunburns! (@stabbyfoxandrew)

thank you @stabbyfoxandrew for allowing me to nerd out <3

Adler’s PiPs ~ Project: Sunburns

if my memory doesn't fail me (which it ALWAYS does), i believe the start of PiP: Sunburns goes back two years, with this little piece i wrote. basically i craved violence and thus the idea of feral Jeremy was born. i know fanon is in love with the Trojans getting their first red card in defense of Jean, and for Jeremy to get it, but i wanted more. as much as Jeremy would allow Jean to find the light, i wanted Jeremy to be allowed to tap into his darkness. NOT THAT JEAN MAKES HIM GO MORALLY GRAY. Jean does not ask for anything. it's more like a mama-bear instinct? at least that's what Jeremy tells himself at first. he'll come to realize, on his own and as Laila and Alvarez point it out to him, that it's definitely more than that.

because the Trojans cannot be as 'damaged' as the Foxes, per their status, the uni they play for, the big team they have, etc., i still couldn't resist giving the characters some touch of angst, because that's what i do, duh. difference is, Trojans have more resources, sympathy and means to deal with their shit. or they're just better at repressing shit, i.e. Jeremy Knox. that's why i say Jean's presence and being allow Jeremy to let go of the obsessive control he has over his person. while Jean never asked for anything from his new captain, and though he isn't impressed by Jeremy jumping to his defense, it sort of... comforts him, to see that Captain Sunshine isn't as peachy and sunny as he would like people to believe. that this little bit of darkness in him means Jean won't be tainting him with his own dark presence. that Jeremy can understand things, Jean's things. Jean is not scared. it is admittedly a tiny bit weird to witness rage not aimed at himself, but for himself. that he is real, and alive, and in fact so real and alive that people, Jeremy, are actively fighting for him to stay and live his life to the fullest.

but what is the fic about, Adler? well: it's a 5 + 1 thing format. of course, 5 times Jeremy went feral for Jean, and 1 time... eh, haven't figured that one out yet.

1 time Jean went feral for Jeremy? 1 time Jeremy didn't need to because Jean handled it himself? 1 time Jeremy went soft for Jean? 1 time the Trojans went feral for Jean? or 1 time Jean went feral for the Trojans? 1 time Jean went feral FOR HIMSELF? 1 time Jean realizes he truly is a Trojan? 1 time the Trojans realize Jean really is one of them now? i! don't! know!

i do have the 5 times where feral Jeremy lashed out, and i hope these will allow you to glimpse at just how serious i am about Jeremy going apeshit:

0.5 The OG incident that pushes Jeremy to do a thorough background check of every Raven (this fic is also me pushing my hacker!Jeremy agenda)

1 Jeremy goes after a Raven (classic)

2 Jeremy goes after a Trojan stepping out of line

3 Jeremy goes after a reporter, privately and publicly

4 Jeremy goes after a Fox [redacted]

5 Jeremy goes after Ichirou & the Moriyamas

as for the title, the draft remains titled "Sunburns" because it's the shortest version of all the titles i'm considering, all inspired by the idea that being the sun doesn't mean just 'light'. the sun is a ball of burning fire. it was upon playing around with that that i stumbled upon this PERFECT quote by Ilona Andrews (i have no idea what book this is from tho):

He bared his teeth in a happy feral grin. My own personal psycho.

that's what i got for now! i'll post updates when i start writing from the outline i have.

coming soon in an Ao3 near you!

if there's a project of mine you'd like to know more about, head over to the pinned post on my blog titled "Adler's Projects in Progress (PiPs)" !

<>

special thank you to my dear Ukamushu who was the first to know about this project and who let me share my thoughts and helped me in return with hers. i love you forever 🤍

#adler’s pips #project: sunburns #jerejean #aftg #all for the game #the foxhole court #jean moreau #jeremy knox #the sunshine court #feral jeremy knox

[siriuslysatorusimping]

what does gojo feels whenever he woke up with her beside him? and does she have her own closet in his house or she just wears his clothes when she sleepover?

AHHHHHHHH

THIS IS FROM TWO MONTHS AGO.

IT'S BEEN IN MY DRAFTS AND I'M SORRRY.

AHHHHHHHHHHH I'M FINALLY GONNA ANSWER IT

okay so this question was asked before Shibuya, therefore I will answer it with that in mind.

I will also provide an answer for what he felt when he woke up next to her in All That I Am Is Yours to make up for my tardiness 😬

It is BELOW THE CUT!!!! 😊

If you haven't already, you can read Another Level on AO3 💕

Pre-Shibuya Gojo

Pre-Shibuya Gojo was excited when he woke up next to Rinko. A little giddy, a little hopeful. Kinda wondering if he should nix his plan for telling her and just tell her he loved her. He was still kinda scheming.

So, if we think about the the morning of Shibuya, when he told her it was a lazy day in bed, just think literal idiot in love.

He woke up with her snuggled against his chest, her hair all wild, probably some drool, and he looked down and just felt it in his soul that he was gonna tell her that evening that he was in love with her.

Then, as he waited for her to wake up, he started planning. He was gonna tease her a bit by being a dramatic lil dumbass and make her think that because he'd done something like that before for dumb shit, it likely wasn't important. So he knew she'd think he was just being dumb. He was gonna buy her some Thai food and bring her back to his place and make her cum to make her more susceptible, and then he was gonna tell her he was in love with her and then dodge her knives when she inevitably tried to stab him because she didn't believe him. 😂😂😂😂

As for if she had her own closet at his place:

Nope! She just stole his clothes whenever she stayed over 😂 Or, if she knew she was going to be there for a while, she would bring a bag. So up until now, she's essentially been living out of a duffle bag. But she would still steal his clothes to sleep in and obviously she stole all of his sweaters 😂

All That I Am Is Yours- forward

Now? He's just so fucking happy when he wakes up next to her. He has the love of his life who knows he's in love with her by his side. Better yet? She loves him back.

He's relieved. So relieved when he wakes up next to her.

Because now they can start the rest of their lives. She's still recovering, but she's alive. And she's healthy. And she's safe. And he just wants to let her know even more how much he loves her. He didn't get a chance to really talk to her after she woke up initially because Shoko was doing checks and then she passed out as soon as they got back to his condo, so now he has time to talk to her and tell her he loves her and thank her for loving him. And to tell her that she was the only reason he truly wanted to keep living. That without her, he had no reason to live through Sukuna.

So, when he woke up that morning with her sleeping like the dead next to him because her soul was still regenerating, he just decided, "Fuck it, I'm waking her up and asking her to marry me. She can go back to sleep after she says 'yes.'"

He then proceeded to think of how he was going to ask her without her thinking she was dreaming, so he decided he was gonna have to ask something stupid first. And he also tried to think of all the ways he could act completely ridiculous to make sure she thought he was just being an idiot. Because he knew she'd be irritated at being woken up and he also knew that she was going to think he was dumb 😂

And then he woke her up and felt his heart soar at seeing her irritated, sleepy eyes staring up at him, still filled with love, and he felt it again in his entire soul that he loved her more than anything in the world and wanted to spend forever with her.

So then he acted like the dumb lil horny boi we know and love and did exactly as he planned and then proceeded to remember his breeding kink for a moment near the end 😂😂😂😂😂

-

I HOPE THIS MAKES UP FOR TAKING LITERALLY TWO MONTHS TO ANSWER??? 😬💕💕💕💕

#sweet asks #sweet anons #another level asks #another level #gojo satoru x original female character #gojo and rinko ask #kiko is bad at responding to asks sometimes #gojo fanfic

[broadwaybalogna]

[Zutara] oneshot based on the story told in Travelin’ Soldier by the chicks

May 2, the Southern Air Temple

Katara,

Thank you for allowing me to write you during these times. We didn’t get to talk much aside from that day at the lake. Your kindness will not be taken for granted. Being able to write to someone during these times— the other men say it will keep me alive. Although we have yet to become close, I place my wholehearted trust in them.

It’s been a week since we’ve established camp. The General has been rough on all us soldiers, but it makes us stronger. At least, that’s what he says. It feels weird wrong fighting against my own element, I can’t help but think about the boys whom I grew up with, knowing they are fighting in support of the deaths they will bring to thousands if not millions.

I am aware that the other soldiers are weary of me, being from the fire nation would harbor such feelings toward me. It is my goal to prove my loyalty to them. And to you, too. Sokka speaks fondly of you, he says your smile itself would be enough to cease fighting on all sides of the war. The hour we spent at sunset on the pier brings no doubt to my mind about his words. I sense he’s still on edge about me writing to you. I will be sure to prove myself worthy of this, I swear. Sokka says to expect a letter from him in a day or two.

-Zuko

June 29, Omashu

Katara,

I sincerely thank you for writing back. I will be honest, I did not expect much in return for my letter. Sokka bragged that you wrote more to him than I, we have grown closer during this past month. He never says a bad word about you. Though perhaps he would’ve preferred to leave out the weekly yelling matches you two have. “Sibling rivalry” he says, “all in good fun”. He muttered about always buying you hot chocolate after. He never shies away from embarrassing you, however. I’ll spare you my knowledge but you should know that I find it, if anything, cute that you keep all your childhood stuffed animals close.

I cannot help but thinking more fondly of you the more I learn.

Our last few exchanges have sent warmth to my heart.

One of the soldiers here said he was an artist before being drafted. He offered to draw a portrait of you for Sokka based on his description. Sokka jumped at the opportunity of a portrait. I never knew how poetic he could be when describing a person. He would say things like your hair having waves like the sea. I simplified his words. He truly loves you beyond what I believe you know.

Not many other men have warmed up to me (pun not intended). They are all quite avoidant of me. I wish they would trust me as much as I do them. Sokka has not suffered at all being friends with me. He’ll sometimes talk me up to the other soldiers. He’s a true extrovert. His mindset is almost perfect for a soldier, our General said.

We lost our first two men not long ago just outside the Southern Air Temple. One of them I believe you may know, Hahn. He was brave until the end, and he will forever live in our memories.

Sokka keeps your portrait in his bag for safe keeping. I’ll steal a glance whenever I can. Every time I look, you’re more extravagant than the last.

Your friend,

Zuko

September 13, Natsuo Island

My dearest Katara,

The war has had few good effects on the soldiers. Sokka attempts to maintain his optimism but as fall begins and the cold winds reach us, it is hard to live up to his past. He doesn’t speak as much of you, it must be hard on his heart. Mao died to a gunshot wound not less than two days ago. I’ve spoken of him a few times in our previous exchanges. He had a daughter and wife whom he wrote as often as we do you. In his last letter, he promised to come home and raise their child with the utmost love.

Sokka cried when he died.

He says he made a similar promise to you; coming home. I wish I could’ve told him to raise his hopes.

Mao was a man who had my utmost respect. And I would say no different about Sokka. We all know the possibilities of this war.

I pray to the spirits with Sokka for opportunity and blessings each night. I never used to do that before, pray. I find it gives me peace of mind. Sokka speaks of the water tribe spirits and the legends behind them. I have learned much about Tui and La.

Every time I think solemnly, I look back to the sunset we spent at the pier. I try to remember each moment before sleeping each night. The way the wind blowed in your hair, the way your eyes glistened the colors of the sunset, your perfect smile. It brings me hope.

You bring me hope.

I don’t know what to call it. Sokka says “love” and I look away.

I fear if I call it that, I will have to face these emotions in full.

Do you find yourself wondering the same?

Best regards,

Zuko

December 20, Fire Fountain City

My dearest, Katara,

Do you ever wonder what would have come of our lives had the war never begun? Would I have found you at the café near the train? Would you have taken me to the pier overlooking the nearby lake? Would your eyes had sparkled as bright as that day?

Sokka smudged the portrait Jan made for him of you the first few weeks we set out. He silently cried to himself that night. I couldn’t hear him, but I knew he did.

Every time we face a hardship, I close my eyes and see your face looking back at me. It is hard to imagine a world without you.

It is also hard to imagine a world without war.

Sokka has a scar on his shoulder from a gunshot that grazed him. A few other scars I’ve seen are similar on his legs and arms, but his shoulder is most prominent. I know he hasn’t written to you about this because he desperately wants you to believe he is the strong older brother you look up to him to be. But I fear his mortality is fading.

I’m sure he’s told you about my own scar.

It is hard to see or hear out of my left eye and ear. Sokka says you love me no matter my appearance. I trust him. I also trust you. I’m sure our love will never come to an end. Sokka says we share the adoration of a newlywed couple. It’s impossible to believe we’ve only seen each other once. I feel like I’ve seen you each day of my life.

My heart burns to see you again, glistening in the sunset. I fantasize about seeing you again each night. I wish you perfect prosperity.

Don’t worry, but I won’t be able to write for a while.

With love,

Zuko

January 1, Crescent Island

My sister,

You do not understand the life you have given me with death surrounds my every move. You have been the light that shines at the end of the tunnel for many people in my unit. I tell stories of our adventures when I can, when it doesn’t hurt to think about, which is not often anymore.

To say that you have given hope to the people who have had the honor of knowing you is an understatement. You have given life to people who believed they had nothing to live for.

Katara, on December 25th, Zuko was caught in crossfire between our and fire nation units not far from Fire Fountain City. He was shot and killed on impact.

The war has caused the deaths of many men, but never would I believe Zuko would be one of those men.

It was foolish of me to believe there would be a world that favored love over war.

He loved you more than himself.

He couldn’t tell you this, but each time he read your letters, I would watch his face flush and a smile inch at the corner of his lips. He would speak of you with pure adoration.

He will be missed by the thousands of lives he has directly and indirectly saved through his work. He will be missed by the units that benefited from his fire during the cold. He will be missed by me.

But I know that he will be missed by you the most.

I do not know when the war will end. And I know less of when I will return to you. But I know it will happen.

Katara, this soldier will come home to you.

I promise.

-Sokka

#angst #boyfriend to death #zutara #atla katara #atla #atla zuko #katara #zuko #war #letters

[merrymorningofmay]

idk, i’ve been trying to pen an account of my extremely, extremely mild War Experiences and every time i gave up in the end because it was a psychological horror more than anything, and how do you recap a psychological horror story except for those who already know what you mean

a year ago my family and i took our backpacks and fled from kyiv (maybe forever, we thought) to wait things out at our dacha.

in hindsight, it was a dumb thing to do, but oh well, it was baby’s first genocide. in hindsight, our dacha is in bucha district, but we wouldn’t learn what that meant until after we returned to kyiv.

our dacha is not in a village, really – it’s surrounded by other land plots and summer houses, and those are empty for most of the year, and they were empty in those days, too. it was just us, away from the highway, away from people (and whenever some people would walk past, eyeing our car and lit-up windows, it was frightening, too – are they robbers making use of the chaos? are they russians in disguise? are they locals who support russia?)

there were explosions all day and night (in hindsight, air defense, but again, baby’s first genocide), sometimes across the forest, sometimes so close our windows were shaking. in theory, we thought, nobody would waste missiles on such a nothing place with no people. in practice, we knew, russians don’t care. and if they had decided to drop a bomb or two on that spot, we would have no basement to take cover and no siren to warn us.

it was cold a year ago. our house has no heating, but it does have a fireplace. it took about three days to make the one room we were spending our days and nights in warm enough for me to take off my hat and one of my sweaters. 

my dad kept himself busy chopping firewood outside. my mom kept herself busy tending to the fire. my sister and i were obsessively trying to monitor the news with what little mobile internet we had.

we had food, but nobody ate. we had each other, but nobody talked, each of us absent, in their own head. every hour or so my best friend and i would check up on each other in twitter DMs – she was in kharkiv, in a crammed bomb shelter all day round, children screaming, adults freaking out, all that. we did not talk in between these check ups, either, but just hearing “i’m alright, you?” was more comfort than my silent mother sitting beside. 

i wanted someone to tell me it would be okay, and for the first time in my life i knew nobody in the world could tell me that and mean it.

i wanted to be in a bomb shelter with screaming kids and freaking out adults.

on the first or second night, i saw a dream that was full of light and joy. i don’t remember a thing about it otherwise. then i woke up freezing in the middle of nowhere, in a country that could have been dead or alive for all i knew.

we didn’t know how close russians were at any given moment, if the land we were on was occupied or not. we didn’t know if we should leave or stay. we knew if russians saw us, we would be killed, and i knew if russians saw my pretty sister and me, we would be raped, and then killed. we knew that if we were to drive anywhere, we would have to pass checkpoints. if the soldiers at those checkpoints were ukrainian, would they take our car for the army, would they take my dad away to draft him? (they would not – again, in hindsight). our dad wanted to stay, the rest of us wanted to leave. we waited for about a week until the explosions became somewhat less frequent. then we got into the car, argued some, and left.

out of our empty non-village and onto the empty road, then onto the empty highway.

when we reached the first checkpoint, i saw a ukrainian flag flickering in the wind.

if you live anywhere in the west, can tell you this: you have not truly seen the flag of your country once.

#mari rambles

[wof-reworked]

Thoughts on Thorn?

First off: sorry for the delay, this was sent to me during my drunk "send me opinions" moment but I only saw it when I woke up and was. very hungover and embarrassed lol. Will try to live up to the original idea tho (plus I am like 3 shots in so you did get your wish in the end !!)

ANYWAY. I really like Thorn. I wish we saw more of her being the leader of the Scorpion Den and what her actual life looks like bc rn it feels like she's become basically Sunny and Qibli's loving mom who all but shows up with cookies for them and their friends when she gets screentime. I think a lot of fandom oscillates between ignoring her and trying to pin some hypocrisy or villain arc on her bc she killed Preyhunter, which. btw. I do have an ancient draft about when I was rereading Sunny's book and taking semi-annotated notes. It's ruthless, but it's not the unwarranted murder people want it to be- she has no reason to trust the Nightwings and Preyhunter opens the convo being rude and challenging her. It's definitely there just as a fakeout to make you think Thorn is Bad News so the parent reveal is more shocking, but I think it shows a really cool and cunning side of her that I wish got more screentime.

Her and Stonemover are also one of my favorite side pairings in the series, not in that they could ever be together again but like. c'mon now. I'm a good sucker for a self made tragedy. I do genuinely believe they could've stayed together forever/become a truly happy couple if Stonemover didn't get in his own head and fall prey to the narrative about animuses and the Nightwing superiority complex. I find the way he describes her as "straight out of his favorite scrolls" as genuinely really romantic, and I LOVE LOVE LOVE m/f pairings where the girl is the headstrong, ruthless one and the boy is a flustered, hopeless romantic who wants to be her pet impress her and win her over. They have some really fun gender fuckery in their relationship and I think it's a missed opportunity to discuss wof's inverted gender roles, what with Queens being the standard. I like to hope they could (platonically) co-parent Sunny after some hard, necessary conversations, but Stonemover is really the big problem in that reconciliation because he's so stuck (ha) in his self-loathing and regret.

I think Thorn is a great side character, and I don't need her to be anything more than that. I would LOVE a winglet or smth like that about her time with Stonemover, but I feel like after the dynamic I've built in my head it would let me down. I think Stonemover should be a boygirl and just a little trans and Thorn should be a butch she/he lesbian but that's my own brand of interest.

tl;dr: that woman is so queer and so cool 2 me <3. I wish she wasn't shoehorned into a relationship w Smoulder since it feels like it was just added because Tui didn't want her "to be stuck as single forever" which is a lame way to approach a woman who absolutely did meet the love of her life and it just. didn't work out. I wish we let stories like that sit a little longer and showed her being happy with her found family of the Scorpion's Den pursuing casual relationships maybe but being happy with the life she's built that's filled with love from so many different places.

#sunny rambles #thank you for the ask !!! #I think for me I really would love to write like. about the scorpion den and thorn's life if I ever get back into fic writing proper

[alj4890]

Escaping for a Moment

(Ernest Sinclaire x MC*Catherine Mills) in a Choices Desire and Decorum drabble

Thirty Kisses in Thirty Days Challenge with the prompt: forbidden lovers sharing a kiss in the shadows

Not quite sure who to tag for this one since it has been so long since I last wrote a drabble for this pair. Plus in cleaning out my drafts folder I lost my permatag list 🤦🏻‍♀️Tagging some who won't be too angry at me for doing so, LOL! @hopelessromantic1352 @twinkleallnight @tessa-liam @choicesficwriterscreations @krsnlove

Masterlist

"Enjoying yourself, my dear?"

Lady Catherine Mills stiffened at the sound of her fiancé's voice.

There was nothing that made her skin crawl quite like Tristan Richard's oily tone.

A scathing insult sat on the tip of her tongue to give the odious man the set down he so rightly deserved. One glance at her grandmother's stern demeanor instead had her forcing a smile.

"I am. Thank you, your grace."

The Duke of Karlington leered at her. He purposely moved closer and placed her hand within the bend of his arm. He enjoyed watching her suffer being trapped with him.

The Dowager Countess beamed at the pair. She was pleased beyond measure that her natural granddaughter had managed to capture such a prized suitor. There wasn't a young lady here who had done so well in such little time.

Nor with such a questionable background.

"You should dance and show her off, your grace." She prodded.

"What a marvelous notion." Tristan remarked.

He placed his hand over Catherine's, smiling all the more with her trying to avoid his touch.

"Shall we show them how it's done, my lady?"

Catherine knew she must say yes. It galled her to have to spend a single moment in this man's presence much less dance with him. The thought of his hands upon her body made her wish to find a chamber pot to wretch in.

If only she was allowed to marry the one man whom she so deeply loved. Mr. Ernest Sinclair was so many things to Catherine. He'd been her savior, her friend, and finally the one who stirred her soul like no other.

Why had they tarried so long that night before sharing the joyful news of their engagement? If they'd only found her grandmother sooner, Catherine would be eagerly taking a turn on the dance floor with her fiancé, Mr. Sinclair, instead of the fiend pretending to be a gentleman at her side.

Life seemed determined to be unfair for the young lady. Not only was she denied her true love, she also was denied even a glimpse of him. For reasons she assumed were because she was promised to another, Mr. Sinclair had yet to make an appearance this evening.

If it were not for Ms. Parsons and Prince Hamid being there to bolster her spirits, Catherine would most likely have dissolved into tears. Her heart ached for Ernest. She was near the point of throwing decorum out the window and running off to Gretna Green with him.

She no longer cared if her beloved father had intended to leave Edgewater to her instead of her stepbrother. Mr. Marlcaster wasn't a bad sort. Catherine could see that he truly had a kind heart when not under the thumb of his mother.

If her dear Briar believed he was all that was good in this world, then Catherine couldn't doubt it. Her friend had a way of seeing one's true nature. Mr. Marlcaster might fumble the finances and such, but he would be a good steward to the people of Edgewater.

She knew if she was to run away with Ernest, scandal would be forever associated with her name. Did it matter though? Her questionable birth already tainted her reputation, though she had no control over those circumstances. At least the new gossip would be something she could happily live with.

"Lady Catherine?" Tristan hissed. "Are you not paying attention?"

Catherine jerked her head away from the feeling of his breath on her ear.

The Dowager laughed at the notion.

"She is most likely lost in thought over the notion of marrying you, your grace."

Tristan's smile was one most ladies deemed charming.

Catherine found little to like in it.

"Is that true, my dear? Are you thinking about our wedding?" His voice lowered for her ears alone. "Or is your baseborn nature concentrating on our wedding night?"

Catherine jerked her hand from his. Trembling with suppressed rage, she pleaded for them to excuse her.

Blinded by angry tears, she wound her way through the crush of guests in search of an escape. Since the retiring room was filled with giggling ladies, she next hoped to find a quiet corner outside to try and calm down.

She shook her head when Prince Hamid asked if she needed him. After tripping her way to a side door, Catherine slipped outside and rushed deep into the shadows.

Her exit was halted by a pair of strong arms wrapping around her.

"Catherine?" Mr. Sinclair said softly to try and shush her cries.

"Ernest!" She twirled in his arms, her hands cupping his face as her lips immediately sought his.

Ernest deepened the kiss, holding her even closer within his embrace.

Catherine broke away to catch her breath. "I thought you were not coming."

"I could not stay away." He caressed her cheek. "I do not care what anyone thinks. I refuse to stand by and see you married to such a man as Duke Richards."

Though she couldn't see him well, his voice made her heart sing with his next words.

"You were created for me, Catherine. You are to be no one's wife but mine."

She sighed into the heat of his next kiss. Her hands moved along his broad shoulders, glorying in the fact that he was truly here and still wanted her for his own.

"My love," she breathed as his lips brushed kisses down her neck, "I want nothing more than to be Mrs. Sinclair."

"And so you shall." He fervently promised. "We will find a way out of your betrothal. The Duke of Karlington will not lay another finger on you."

The mention of her fiancé's name forced Catherine to reluctantly pull away.

"I should return before my grandmother sends the duke for me."

"I'll escort you back." Ernest pressed a kiss to the back of her hand before releasing her.

She took his arm, leaning closer than appropriate. She needed a few more moments near him if she was to endure the rest of the ball.

Once inside, notes were played to signal that the Allemande was about to begin.

"Would you do me the honor, my lady?" Mr. Sinclair asked in that proud proper tone of his.

Catherine looked up at him. Her eyes traced his handsome features in the nearby candlelight. Her first genuine smile of the night appeared upon her slightly kiss swollen lips. She could continue to play the part of a respectable noble as long as he was near.

"Thank you, Mr. Sinclair." She said with a polite tilt of her head. "I would love to."

As he took her in his arms to dance, Catherine felt both her hope and courage return.

She would find a way to freedom and celebrate it with the man at her side.

#thirty kisses in thirty days #choices desire and decorum #ernest sinclaire #ernest x mc #choices fic writers creations #choices dnd