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xycuro-illuminati · 10 months

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Why didn’t you like the current Daredevil run?

I'll do a speed round here we go:

- Horrible character assassination on everyone especially Matt and Elektra.

- Zdarsky was v clearly inspired by the mcu Netflix show so the run had a severe case of mcu-ification

- The way he wrote women was atrocious (examples: Elektra, Kirsten, Mindy, literally everyone else)

- The shitty retcon to Elektra's backstory going from the sheltered sweet girl that loved her father sm that when he died it broke her to the point of grief and revenge that she became an assassin and it shattered her worldview to the stupid fucking backstory the mcu tried pulling of her being a spy sent by the Hand to recruit Matt.

- Whitewashed Kirsten AND gave her blue eyes

- the obnoxious way of how Matt was written in terms of religion to the point where he went from caricature to straight up crusader colonizer preaching

- Matt is so horrible in this run this is the most OOC he's ever been it legit feels like reading an mcu dd fanfic from someone who barely watched the show and only took word of fanon and saw gifsets

- Zdarsky tried grabbing story plots from previous runs and executed them horribly to the point where he only grabbed the worst shit from it (the ableism, infantalization, and sexual assault)

- Daredevil Elektra as a concept; it doesn't work. I'm sorry, cool outfit and all, but the Daredevil mantle isn't like the Spider-Man one where anyone can wear the mask. Daredevil was specifically for Matt to process his trauma of losing his father and used it to gain justice where the system would fail for his city. His upbringing fits the mantle and the only person who would fit that mantle is Sam Chung. With Elektra it doesn't work and it's on par with the whole "wife takes the husband's last name" but worse. My friend @thosemintcookies has made better points about this.

- Whitewashed Sam Chung and made him just sit at a cave waiting for the Beast or some shit

- Speaking of the Beast, the Hand being the big bad guys of the whole run sucks. Can we leave the Hand behind please the ninja clan isn't the ultimate dd villain.

- Foggy is just there. He doesn't do much and he's just THERE. It sucks. And he throws around the term catholic guilt for no fucking reason. The guilt Matt feels is regular guilt please shut the fuck up Zdarsky.

- Brought back Mike Murdock and did some decent writing on him only to kill him off. Cool, what was the whole point of that.

- Pulled a gotcha on making us think that zdarsky killed off Kirsten in a train explosion but it turned out she was fine which was so foul. Daredevil comics are NOTORIOUS for fridging female characters so that shit was just unacceptable idc argue with a wall.

- Checcetto's art style sucks I'm gonna be honest. The novelty of it being pretty ended v quickly as soon as he drew poc and holy shit he cannot draw them nor can he draw any other expression.

- Did I mention the ableism? And the infantalization? And the fetishization of Matt's disability? No? Okay well this post covers it all here.

- It gets into racist territory too with how they write Sam and the Hand

- This romantic mattelektra agenda makes my skin itch they're not romantic they're tragic their whole deal is that they could never go back to how they were as lovebirds in college. Soule broke up Kirsten and Matt and they kept it like that for this shlop I'm gonna kill you zdarsky and I'm making Elektra a lesbian now.

- Back to Elektra's character; zdarsky takes the cake in "Let's make Elektra's whole life and character revolve around Matt and Matt only". Making her quit her ways and making Matt treat her like shit by calling her a murderer despite the fact that in previous runs he would NEVER do that and has ACCEPTED that this is who Elektra is.

- Speaking of the murderer shit; Matt is a huge hypocrite in this run and not in a good or fun way. Homeboy got rescued by the other Defenders but then got mad and called them murderers bc they've admitted to killing people and it's the most fanficy thing I've ever read. Zdarsky, did you know. That Matt has known Jessica, Luke, and Danny for years now? Did you know that he already knows that they've killed people before? Did you know that he's teamed up with killers plenty of times (see: Elektra, Natasha, Frank Castle) and doesn't make a big shit about it? Did you know that Matt has killed people before in previous runs?? Did you know that zdarsky?? Bc it's clear he doesn't know.

- Whenever Spider-Man shows up Zdarsky writes him better than anyone in the run and this is a Daredevil run mind you

- Shitty ass writing. Shitty plot bc we've seen it all and there's nothing done. OOC on everyone. Misogynistic writing at its finest. Whitewashed characters. Stupid religious pandering bs that only the mcu girlies would like. Terrible run overall.

@thosemintcookies @froggynelson @faacethefacts @xuanelle @daresplaining @briefcasejuice @evileyeamulet

Feel free to add more or elaborate more on my post I'm giving yall the stage if you want it.

#marvel #daredevil #matt murdock #elektra natchios #anti chip zdarsky #asks to me #long post #hope all of that answers your question anon <3 #thats why im so happy this run is finally over #also the fact that kirsten and sam dont show up at the last issue: killing maiming and slaughtering

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oh-my-may · 2 months

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I finally got around to play Cosmo Canyon! Took me a while to get there bc family stuff and i was feeling a bit under the weather some days, but today I'll finish the protorelic quest and then do the side quests and that was it for Cosmo Canyon...

Thoughts on story: RED (or should I say Nanaki?) IS SO CUTE LEGIT A TEENAGE BOY TRYING TO PASS AS AN ADULT MAN the way I was hollering. The city is beautiful and very huge... Felt very overwhelmed when I first got there. Generally loved the focus on Red, had lots of questions about him originally. Now I wonder how old his kind can get if he's like 15 in human years but actually 48... huh. The story with his parents is pretty basic i guess? Didn't really blow me away, i could see the turning point coming from a mile away but it was very sweet nonetheless. Really enjoyed the gameplay during the trial, the Gi enemies WERE SO COOL. Also loved that we could scale walls with Red, I wish we could do that in the open world... The final boss almost kicked my ass because I'm not used to playing Barrett and Red actively, BUT THEY SLAYED. Shoutout to Titan, homeboy always comes through for me. Also couldn't help but be reminded of Genshin's Misty Dungeon event during the trial. And the mines of Moria. My weird interests meet in the most unusual of circumstances sometimes. My brain does that occasionally.

Also, the Gi Nantaak first scared the shit out of me. Then he kinda reminded me of Vision (you know, from Marvel) but that also wore off. The random sequence with Zack almost made me cry again. Whenever I see him on screen something just urges me to. Him and Biggs also looked so damn good during that entire scene I took so many screenshots 😭 I'm still so confused tho... Biggs ended up in Zack's timeline because of the Whispers/ the Wind for whatever reason? Really have no clue where they're going to take this part of the story, I just know it's going to hurt me so bad in the end.

I also let out an audible ' Hear me out' when they showed Seto... I'm not sorry.

On the exploration side of things... The flying chocobos are so confusing to me, I started the chocobo quest right as I landed in Cosmo Canyon and I immediately failed the first part because the controls as you fly are just??? Therefore everything that was placed so that you could only reach it through flying was a bit of a pain at first. I figured it out eventually, but i still haven't continued that quest... Also saw a bunch of people complain about this so at least I'm not the only one struggling lol.

Everything Else was very enjoyable tho. Go to explore team was Cloud, Aerith and Cait Sith this time and I gotta say Cait's Moogle Magic skill is busted I was so surprised when a full ass Ifrit suddenly stood on the field 😭 Bahamut Arisen was a surprisingly quick clear after I got all the Intel, Tifa just died in like the last minute. A worthy sacrifice tho. Immediately tried Bahamut while beating the Jabberwock, huge Dragon Battle was crazy insane to watch. He's busted. Put him on Cait for now.

I haven't finished the protorelic quest yet, but I didn't expect it to have this much lore right from the get go... So you're telling me Wedge is dead in Cloud's timeline???? Just like that?? The whispers killed him? MY BOY. Also Yuffie's friends (?) - the NPC's for that quest - immediately reminded me of Bella's High School friends in Twilight 😭💀 They just look like they belong in these movies idk

Now I wonder if the last two parts of the protorelic quest are gonna be as much a pain in the ass as Fort Condor was... I managed to clear the first two stages quite quickly so I hope it's gonna be okay with the AI helping me for the configuration part...

So that's that! Will definitely finish Cosmo Canyon tonight and then maybe start Chapter 11... Just a few more steps until meeting Vincent. Heard Chapter 11 was quite long so it'll probably take me the whole weekend to finish next to work and all. My goal of finising this game before easter is probably gonna be left unfulfilled... But I'd rather take my time.

Will add screenshots to this post after I get home from work!

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calorie0guy · 1 year

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Just a vent/ story time

So like I was at work, tried to like make sure my boss was ok cause she seemed like she wasn't feeling good and she just goes " yeah I'm good just my anorexia is flairing up" and I just stared at her cause like I can't be like Haha yeah same. But like just to out in the open be like , yeah. Maybe I'm just mentally ill cause my brain will not let me tell poeple that....like just can't be like "haha yeah I started purge again after like eating under 800cals for a week" like my friends know but I'm not just gonna out right tell them that. Sometimes they notice stuff and help. Like my homeboy. Ive been staying at his house He was cooking diner and I got really nervous cause he showed me how to cook the meal the night before so I know like Everything that goes in it. Oils and butters and things that I never cook with cause it makes me not want to eat it knowing its in there. I got quiet and zoned out. He told me to eat whenever and then made me a bowl anyway he said " I knew if I told you to eat whenever you just weren't going too". You know thats just how it is sometimes. Like yeah I knew what was in it and I didn't want to eat it but I wasn't gonna be like " sorry Ana says no im not gonna eat that." I don't wanna talk about it with loved ones, its shameful to me. It would make me way to uncomfortable. I was good friends with this guy for over a year and a half before I told him I was hospitalized for an eating disorder a couple of years ago. Like cause if they don't know...they don't know what to look for. I'm a big guy, I get praised for weight loss whether its done in a good or bad way. I legit don't want people to know and from what I see in the community most people don't. So she just bluntly says it....

Maybe I'm just triggered. But that's the thing she shouldn't have said that In a work place. And its not like I can tell HR unless I out my disordered ass you know....

#tw ana diary #tw ana related #ana stuff #anamia #eating disoder trigger warning #tw ana mention #edbllr #notprojustusingthetags #ed vent

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bylightofdawn · 1 year

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Beyond Evil Episode 6 spoiler talk beneath the cut.

OKAY SO UH..... Kang Jin-muk. I'm not misconstruing this right? Homeboy really just murdered his kid and or possibly all the other people? That is definitely a brand of evil. And his CREEPY AS FUCK insertion of himself into the investigation? Yeah that's some serial-killer shit there.

And Lee Dong-sik TOTALLY knows. I was wondering why he kept giving him the stink eye during the BBQ scene earlier in the series.

I'm sure there's some totally logical, prolly cultural disconnect between why the fuck he has not fucking beat his ass and or screamed from the rooftops Unless he cannot prove it which I'm gonna go with I still don't know how the fuck he got the fingertips I mean that's some fucked shit too. I'm sure it will all be revealed.

Han Ju-won is legit the worst detective. My boy legit just keeps stumbling around this investigation making messes and cannot figure anything out. Like boy, maybe you need a new line of work. If wouldn't be so unbearable if he wasn't an insufferable know-it-all. It's not a read on the character and no hate. He's just so green an inexperienced with his head so far up his ass that he can't see anything.

In other assorted thoughts.

Park Jeong-je COULD NOT HAVE CHOSEN A WORSE TIME FOR A VACATION. Poor Oh Ji-hun. And his sister. Ji-hwa....we need to talk.

NGL, the more I see of her skeezy AF ex the more I question that woman's tastes. Like....how did a presumedly intelligent woman like you let that slimball within ten feet of yourself? Is your creep radar broken? Baby, do you just have terrible self-esteem and a need to self-sabotage? Please, make me understand this logic because I do not get it.

I also love the chief the more I see of him. I thought he was just a funny, cantankerous old dude ten minutes from retirement but he's actually a sly old fox.

Someone, please tell me Lee Dong-sik is gonna BEAT Kang Jin-muk's ass at some point in this series? I will be so robbed if an ass-beating does not happen at some point because holy fuckballs that man needs a punch in the face. That's prolly just my Western media bias speaking. I'll admit I don't know a lot about Korean culture so I'm sure I will be robbed of getting to see a completely satisfying ass beating and that's okay. Mostly. Grumble.

Also that cliffhanger ending. But I have to get back to work. Arggggh. Might end up watching next ep tonight instead of writing. >.> I don't work tomorrow so I could stay up a wee bit later.

#beyond evil #el watches stuff #I am definitely at risk of falling back into my trashy k-drama era #and I think I'm okay with that.#I just cannot seem to focus on subtitles for more than like 15-30 minutes at a time so it takes me a while to get through an episode #obligatory spoiler warning #beyond evil spoilers #this is your warning #don't at me if you clicked on that cut and got spoiled

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thebrideofmunson · 2 years

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My live reactions to season 4 episode 9 (part 1)

But they're slightly out of context and a complete unfiltered adhd mess

Also ofc spoilers

-will yuri ever give up on trying to trick them

-and I think he might legit be attracted to that helicopter

-are JOYCE AND HOPPER GONNA FUCK IN THAT CHURCH?!?!??

-AHUT UP

-shut up

-OMFG

-FINALLY

-not the us government cockblocking

-Robin making fun of Steve is my fav

-don’t like the foreshadowing of Steve telling Eddie and Dustin to abort the mission

-there’s so much foreshadowing for Eddie dying I can’t take it

-Eddie and his bandana is doing things to me

-also Dustin is so cute with his little outfit

-that boy is my son

-I really hope el’s plan works because it’s so cool

-so happy for Kate bush rn because she’s truly in her bag

-shit angry hick

-Joyce is the best mom, but I hate this plan

-not argyle making a pizza

-THIS US IT

-ITS HAPPENUNG

-Eddie’s hand…

-MY HEART IS RACING

-I think this scene will actually get me pregnant lol

-get this stancy off my screen, I want Eddie’s sexy ass playing Metallica to save the world!!!!!

-“you’re there” just let out the deepest sigh

-this is making it sound like I don’t like Steve or Nancy, I’d like to clarify that I absolutely love both of them, I just can’t stand stancy for so many reasons

-Enzo is either gonna die or double cross them calling it now

-jk on the double crossing, but homeboy is NOT surviving

-I’m so anxious I’m tempted to look on Twitter for spoilers so any deaths don’t hit as hard

-LUMAX LUMAX LUMAX

-max better survive to see that movie istfg if she doesn’t

-Jonathan best brother ever

-please make them explicitly say Will is gay by the end of the series

-yas the show setting it straight on how bad Billy was

-Catholic guilt max is so real

-fuck I have chills. I love max so much and I really just want her to actually be happy.

-shit vecna has her

-Caleb is acting his ass off in this scene

-starved for elmax content

-skater girl max truly has my heart

-IS THIS REALLY IT

-YES

-omfg Chrissy this is for you

-I just audibly screamed

-already knew it was gonna be master of puppets, but I’m still freaking out cuz I love this song

-DADDY DADDY DADDY

-stfu Dustin head banging is adorable

-this is already one of my top 10 fight scenes from any show/movie just because of the song choice

-I INWO THAT RAGEDY BITVH DIDNT JUST TACKLE ERICA

-Eddie nation how we doing?

-I will be rewatching that scene for the rest of the summer istg

-Max’s best memory being there snow ball<3

-Russian crew is so unbelievably fucked I’m horrified

-bro demaflayers?!?!?!?

-Steve’s hopping just gave me the ick

-ronance moment

-baby max<3<3<3

-lmao I forgot this was the song they used in the snow ball scene

-it’s 3:30 am and I’m so tired, but I’m only half way through and HAVE to watch on one sitting

-seriously the cinematography

-fuck Jason omfg

-IF HE HURTS LUCAS

-I hate this it’s so unnecessary

-I don’t wanna watch the Russian teams scenes because I’m so scared

-fuck hopper being the bait

-NO JOYCE GETTING FLASHBACKS

-still so scared for Eddie too

-ROBIN

-STEVE

-NANCY

-god Russia needs to come through rn with that hive mind theory

-if Eddie doesn’t get through

-BO NO NO NON NO NO

-pausing to accept that Eddie is about to die

-just caved and looked at spoilers and now I don’t wanna finish :(

-it’s honestly on me for falling in love with him

-just spoiled Max too so I can handle it

-I’m finishing this shit in the morning

-Eddie nation plz don’t stop posting fanfics because it’s all I have now

#st4 volume 2 #st4 #stranger things #eddie munson

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roloko-karlstein · 2 years

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Tatara Totsuka for bingo

My bruhmate his character is so interesting he was abandoned at 3 and got adopted by a gambling acholic yet he didnt mind (I think its been years since I read this chapter in the side:red novel). Never had any long term friends until he met Mikoto and Izumo. Homeboy was legit smiling while threatening to torture a person while Homra was rescuing Anna. Still had done nothing wrong unless he done something in the Las Vegas web novel. Never stayed with one job or hobby for too long which I can see cause there is just so much to do and not enough time especially for him since he knew he was going to die, but loved his King to much to leave him even if it meant dying.

I really love his romance with Mikoto it left an impact on me and he totally has him whipped dude. He was the sun to the members of Homra and they only person who can calm Mikoto's raging flames. He is the best and most important character in this work. The entire fucking first season was Homra trying to find his murderer. I really wished he had more panel time and screen time, but its okay cause I have a vivid mind when it comes to my favorite works I can legit see it all in my minds eye when reading the short stories GoRa posts online.

I never felt so many emotions about a singlular character since Rolo he is tied for #1 with Rolo for favorite character of all time cause of how much he impacted my life.

#project k #totsuka tatara

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happysmilebtr · 1 year

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(1/2) hi anna! just wanted to drop by and (sort of) introduce myself - i'm your caratblr gift exchange person! i hope you're doing well and that you've had a good weekend so far. :) to get some ideas on my end, i wanted to ask you about a few things: when it comes to "vibes," are you interested in something more "visual" (think: photoshoots, mvs, stages) or would you prefer a focus on some of the friendships you listed, like member dynamics? (!! one more question incoming!!)

(2/2) my other question, which might be kind of broad; what do you like about the members you listed as biases? what draws you to scoups, mingyu, seungkwan, and jun (visually, personality-wise, etc) and the same question for the relationship dynamics: what do you like about mingyu & seungkwan's friendship, or hoshi & woozi's, or the group's? sorry if it sounds like i want you to write an essay - i'm just really curious and would love to hear what makes them special to you. :')

Hi, hi my secret carat bean!! Sorry for the lateness of this ask, I just got home from work!

Such a very curious one you are fnsjdjs but vibes can mean really anything! It could be the simple mv aesthetics or from photoshoots or whatever you wanna come up with! I love seeing peoples perspective on stuff like this ya know? As for what draws to me to each member welpPPp

-scoups because I just adore how one minute he can be just pouty over the fact someone used his full name before then you see him body throwing some of the members and going "yepp i felt that" lmao. Jokes aside. Cheol is really just a lovely soul! I love his lil giggles or his smile. The way he dotes and truly cares of his members despite it all. He truly made sure the members were taken care well, that they weren't screwed over from pledis (he went to meetings ALWAYS. Idk if he still does that though) and despite he is the youngest of his family and we do see that "maknae" side as he interacts with the members, he is a wonderful leader and makes sure each member is heard. Like he takes the back seat in interviews and just eyes the group before popping up and sometimes letting the more quiet members speak. He's a noob as well but he's cute

-seungkwan oh my lordy that is my signature crossiant boy. That is my emotional support boy if I need a pick me up. He was a creeper bias as I dub them. Ones that you DO NOT expect to become a bias but suddenly do lmao. I was of course aware of him but next thing I knew, he popped up as a bias out of the blue and it was nice getting to know him more. Knowing how much he values and loves his sisters and mom. How he went to producers for variety shows to ask them to invite svt (which worked out bc homeboy is friends with everyone in the industry lmao). How yes he is the super funny memeber but he is more than just that. An artist that wants to improve his craft, we won't talk about his vocal talents because I can be here all day.

-mingyu is the classic member that im like "yeah maybe I can be delulu for a bit xD" he is legit a person I feel like I would enjoy being friends with if I ever met him. Very much can see him bugging me and making fun of my shrot height but tis fine. That means he could be my irl stepping stool so I can reach high places haha. He is attractive sure but the fact he has more left feet than my clumsy butt does is hilarious to me. Outside of that, while he isn't the strongest say rapper within svt I like his lyrics like in game boi he ain't a video game player but the lyrics sound so natural it doesn't make you question it if you are someone who plays video games. I love his personality as well like how can you not fall for this giant 6 foot tall doggo boy fjsjdj.

-jun is a recent addition and idk why but here he is. I wanna keep him in my pocket at all times (despite him being like close in height with mingyu) like I think we all need a personal mini jun to keep our life happy ya know? From his chaotic wild self with his hot dog machine or his big brain 1 + 1 moments to his beautiful song writing lyrics or watching him dance. He isn't the smoothest dancer per se but he is hypnotizing for a reason (limbo is a perfect song for this or watch a wave performance!)

And as for those dynamics. Mingyu x seungkwan just make me laugh so much idk why, it reminds me of a friendship I have with my guy friend at times and it feels familiar. Its always fun to see seungkwan about to throw a shoe at hoshi and mingyu is there to hold him back while woozi and hoshi are wholesome. Sure, woozi may LOOK annoyed and done with him (see his anti tiger agenda or him being ??? At the studio one time when hoshi asked to make him a song beat and help with autotune) but he happily still does it. He will.mumble and complain but he will still do it. He loves all of his members (circles anyone?) That is a fact but him and hoshi have this kind of bond that is akin to friendship that has lasted for 50 years at least to me

I hope that answered your questions ^_^

#anon #anonymous #answered #my secret carat santa

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jaydenbennett · 6 years

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youtube

#my homegirls know i've been dying to make jay bird to direct a music video #he's worked on lots of mvs before but he hasn't directed anything tHIS BIG #he's gd proud and i'm gd proud because vISUALS #bYE #insp: projects #and no he doesn't listen to kpop #but work is work and homeboy legit loves his works #ps there were little to almost no special effects in this which makes it even more jay's style #i did a good job #*pats self on back*

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artemisia-black · 3 years

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My top twenty Sirius moments

1. When he manages to seem bored in Azkaban and says he misses doing the crossword.

2. When he takes time out of his busy murder plot to buy Harry a new broom, via his finance manager/personal assistant Crookshanks.

3. His friendship with Crookshanks #squadgoals

4. When he thinks it’s a good idea to break into a dorm full of sleeping teenagers and try and stab a rat in the dark. Homeboy is verrry confident about his knife skills .

5. “There’s enough filth on my robes without you touching them Peter.” Ahh Sirius you sassy icon.

6. Also ‘If you made a better Rat then Human that’s nothing to boast about Peter.’ Le sass is strong.

7. Mr Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a Professor. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 perfection

8. When he sends post via tropical birds, for dramatic effect.

9. When he really leans into the criminal thing and breaks into someone’s house to use the fire ( I hope he stole some food).

10. When he basically figures out the entire GoF plot using scrounged newspapers. He’s an incredibly astute person and it’s tragic he never got to hunt Horcruxes (it would have taken him a few days).

11. The chapter Padfoot returns should be renamed ‘Wizarding world tea with Sirius Black.’ He legit had the receipts on everyone.

12. When he sends Harry a muddy pawprint as a good luck gift (be still my beating heart).

13. When Padfoot growls at Fudge while in the hospital wing. Despite being a wanted criminal who is front of the man that could have him arrested, no one insults Harry in front of Sirius.

14. When he gets bitten by something in Grimmauld place and spends a moment studying his hand in an interested way. Ahhhh he had such a sharp mind that clearly loved working things out.

15. Padfoot chasing pigeons on the way to King’s Cross.

16. God rest ye Merry Hippogriffs. I need a Sirius Black Christmas carol remix album in my life.

17. How he still looks hot while taking an exam. Trust me this is a special gift- I normally look like I haven’t slept in a week and have caffeine shakes.

18. ‘ Reading between the lines, I’d say she thinks you’re a bit conceited, mate.’ The books needed more sassy/sarcastic Sirius.

19. When he put santa hats on the elf heads, and singlehandly created the ultimate emo xmas decor.

20. His room being covered in motorcycle pictures. I’d like to think that muggle Sirius would definitely have a motorcycle themed tumblr.

#sirius black #marauders #noble and most ancient house of black #toujours pur #sirius orion black #he is so sassy #sirius + crookshanks= squad goals

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just-a-creep-babe · 3 years

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How many creeps do you think would be good at cooking? Imagine them making food for their s/o and cuddling with them 💙💙💙

Ooh, this was interesting to think about! ^^

Requests are closed

Masterlist: x

Slenderman

This 👏mans 👏can 👏cook👏

He doesn’t do it too often because he doesn’t really… need to eat, but when he does? It’s a full-course fancy af meal

And it’s fucking delicious

Those tentacles mean that he’s pretty versatile in the kitchen

Combined with the many, many years of experience he has on this plane AND the fact that he’s a perfectionist, there’s no way his food is ever less than superb 👌

He doesn’t need his s/o’s help in the kitchen, but if they wanna lend a hand, he’ll more than gladly sheathe away his extra appendages to have some wholesome, pleasant human time with them 😙

If he’s doing something special for his s/o, chances are, he won’t stop at just the taste & appearance of the food, either

He’ll arrange a whole ass presentation for them—like a meal under the stars with rose petals scattered around expensive porcelain dishes, completed with candles for mood-lighting

He’ll even put on some nice, slow classical music while you dine ;)~

No expense is spared for his one and only darling 😚

Jeff the Killer

This may come as a surprise but he’s actually,,, fairly decent in the kitchen

Like, he’s really into keeping up his shape, right? So he takes special care in the things he puts into his body so that he can operate at PEAK performance

There was, admittedly, a time when he was younger where he legit ate absolute garbage

But then he realized (surprise, surprise) that eating good food makes you stronger, so he’s been putting effort into his diet ever since

The taste can sometimes be... a little bland because it’s all super healthy stuff, but most of the time, it’s pretty good ngl

He makes a lot of protein/carb-based stuff—so it’s a lot of heavy meats

You cannot get this mans to bake with you because he’ll cut back on the sugar/chocolate & turn your dessert into... a mush, basically

And he’s one of those people who can’t work in the kitchen with others, so any cooking with him at all probably isn’t going to happen

But, hey, if you don’t like preparing meals, at least he’s got it covered :)

Just don’t expect anything too sweet or fancy from him unless you want to be disappointed :p

Which, to be fair, you should be used to disappointment if you’re dating Jeff skdjksjdlkd

BEN Drowned

Alright, so, y’know how Jeff is super into health & nutrition, and Slender’s really good at making super fancy meals with excellent presentation?

Yeah, BEN’s the opposite of both of those

This mans cannot cook—and everything he makes is like thiiiis 👌 far from being chemically inedible

Not to mention, it looks about as radioactive as it probably is

Do not let this mans in the near vicinity of any kitchen whatsoever

If he wasn’t already dead, you’d be worried about him giving himself a heart attack with the kind of food he ingests

Speaking of, because he is dead, he doesn’t necessarily need to eat, but he still does enjoy food

He can get a lil cranky if he hasn’t eaten in a while, and when he’s in his physical form, he can still feel hunger—it just won’t kill him

So he’s at this point where he mostly just eats for the flavour, which explains his questionable cooking choices

Either way, it’s not recommended that you ever let this mans cook for you 😬

Eyeless Jack

As smart & talented as he is, it’s important to remember that homeboy was a college student before the incident

And because he can’t eat human food anymore & it all tastes the same (kinda like,, rotten dirt mixed in with ashes), it just means boy sucks at cooking

He can try to follow a recipe, but somehow, they always end up tasting a little... off??

It’s best for him to just stick to chicky nuggies and frozen pizza ngl :”)

Which sucks, because if he wants to cook for you, he wants to make it healthy, ya know?

If you have the patience for it, however, he’d be more than happy to learn how to properly cook for and with you

And he’s a pretty fast learner, so maybe there’s still hope for his cooking skills :”)

He really enjoys making food with you, but it can stress him out a little at the same time

He would generally just rather order takeout from some healthy place for ya instead

Also please don’t make fun of his cooking, he’s trying :(

Masky

Masky & Hoodie are the two most likely to cook for the mansion

Everyone’s supposed to take turns, but considering the quality of the meals the others make *cough* BEN *cough,* it doesn’t usually end up that way

And since Masky genuinely enjoys cooking, he’s more likely to pick up the slack for the others

He can make pretty much anything, and unlike what Jeff makes, the flavour is varied & pretty damn delicious ^^

He’ll also make a lot extra, because not only do the bois eat a lot, but if no one else decides to cook the next day, at least they’ll have leftovers

The creeps are always free to fix themselves whatever they want, of course, but it’s nice to just open up a fridge & have something ready, ya know?

If his s/o wants to join him in prepping food, he’ll be more than happy!

Loves having extra hands to help & loves teaching them his secret to good recipes 😋

He enjoys cooking for his s/o more than he enjoys cooking for anyone else ngl

He’s the type to make them their fave dish all the time, just cause he can & he loves them sm <3

Hoodie

As I’ve mentioned, Hoodie’s one of the few people that cook for everyone in the mansion

So, while he’s maybe not as skilled or enthusiastic about cooking as Masky, he can still manage

He has a few specialty dishes that he prefers making & that taste better than the rest

And, on the other hand, he also has some random dishes that, for some reason, just never turn out how they’re supposed to >:/

He’s really good w/ breakfast foods especially ^^

Baking, on the other hand, tends to be a bit too precise, so he tends to stick away from that, but hey, if his s/o wants to bake with him, he won’t refuse

If you bake with him, he will get flour on his hands & tap your ass—just to leave his handprint on ya butt :p

He can be a bit of a goof in the kitchen—he’ll get messy & is definitely the type to smear icing on your lips just so he can kiss it off ;)

At the end of the day, if his s/o really loves his cooking, he’ll push himself to make more food more often for them

Homeboy’s just an absolute babe no matter what he does tbh 💗👄💗

Ticci Toby

This mans… also has some… issues in the kitchen

He’s somewhere halfway between BEN and EJ in terms of skill

Like, has a soft spot for sweets, so he loves baking and making desserts—and he’s even pretty good at it!

But he, unfortunately, isn’t very good at making regular food because he eats a lot of junk tbh

So he needs a bit of guidance in the kitchen to make sure he doesn’t put too much sugar in a recipe that should not have sugar in the first place

Even when baking, you sorta need to keep an eye on him

He could very easily burn himself without realizing it—but he’s sort of a danger magnet already, so that’s to be expected

Boy’s also got pretty bad adhd, so he can & will forget to take stuff out of the oven or the stove

People are kinda wary of him being in the kitchen alone after a few too many incidents…

Poor boy honestly gets a bad rep that he doesn’t really deserve :”)

#creepypasta #creepypasta x reader #slenderman #Ben drowned #Jeff the killer #Ticci toby #eyeless jack #masky #hoodie

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euthoriaz · 3 years

Text

Cleon in Infinite Darkness Ted-Talk

Don't mind me but I want to let this out to y'all.

I've seen the newest Infinite Darkness trailer 10000000 times ( well, duh, of course. I'm there for Cleon moments ) and yet I've realized these all just now. But y'all gotta bear with me because this post is gonna be looong. Like I mean, LONG.

Can y'all see his little smile when he says "Claire?"🥺

I think that speaks alone of how happy he is when Claire's there out of the blue. It's always nice whenever someone sees a familiar face in their work place. Especially if that familiar face doesn't work in the same place as him and that familiar face is someone he trusts a lot.

I'm sure Leon's expression here means they're comfortable with each other. At least they are. They trust each other and most importantly they support each other. I'm not saying they act like lovers but this could lead to something more than just ordinary friends. Best friend? Could be. Lovers? This also could happen and has lots of potentials since in RE2 REMAKE, he also flirts with her. And it's very obvious that Claire is also into him A LOT ( honestly, who doesn't? ). That fence scene is one helluva big hit, ahem 👀

Anyway, back to Infinite Darkness, I legit screamed that Capcom gives this subtle hint. Maybe I was blinded by my excitement the first time I saw the newest trailer so I didn't realize it. But yeah, homeboy actually smiles genuinely when he calls her name. His expression is like he can't believe she's really there in front of him. NOT TO MENTION HIS HEAD NOD WHEN HE SAYS HER NAME🥺

NGL, I thought I was tripping when I first saw it. I thought I was blinded by my Cleon obsession so my eyes tricked me🤣. I replayed the scene backward again and again and again (I didn't regret it ofc).

But yes, dear God, my eyes didn't trick me and this is real😭😭. I WAS SO FREAKING HAPPY YET I WAS SHOCKED. I had to pause the trailer to find the right moment to screen capture it.

Beside, c'mon y'all. When's the last time Leon smiles genuinely to a woman that's not Claire? Yeah he smiles to lots of women. BUT it's always a smirk or a teasing one. Never once a genuine smile. But not to Claire. He always genuinely smiles at her. In Re2Make, Darkside Chronicles, even in Degeneration.

Hell, Degeneration is full of Cleon moment even though they only share several scenes together. I'll talk about this in different post so keep your eyes on it!

Look at his left hand. LOOK AT IT.

I can assure y'all that this is not because of inertia ( one of physics law which makes our body move because of a sudden stop ). Leon is also not gonna grab the damn document in Claire's hand. That's not a gesture someone would make if that were the case.

I'm not sure but to me it feels like he wants to shake her hand? Or maybe hugging her or grab her shoulder? It looks like it because his arm stops mid-air as if he has another intention to her. Not just because he stops in front of her. It's such an awkward movement if there isn't any reason behind it. So, at least, there must be one. I could be wrong or I probably read it too much tho so I leave it to your own interpretation.

Homeboy wanna say something else

Homeboy with infinite hair wants a conversation 100%. IMO, Leon clearly wants to say something else to Claire but for whatever reason, he chooses not to. Dammit Leon. His body language and the way he doesn't break his eye contact with Claire says it all. There's this moment of silence before he says "don't do anything stupid" to her. And by looking at his expression, it's clear that he has something on his mind but decides to keep it to himself in the end. This is more emphasized by the way his mouth opens a little bit while he slightly leans to Claire. If y'all want more, his face after he tells Claire to not do something reckless clearly states that he actually wants to continue their convo but he has another obligation he needs to fulfill. His smiling face before he goes is like saying "Look, believe me I want to keep talking to you. But you know the drill and how it goes. I'm sorry, Claire. Gotta run. It's great seeing your face tho"

FURTHERMORE, the fact that he says "don't do anything stupid" to her speaks that he actually knows her well and how she is as a person. He knows what lengths Claire is willing to go to prevent another outbreak. He telling her not to be reckless means he cares about her. If he's not, he can just say "gotta go" to her and that's it. But no. He didn't do that even tho it's clear that he's in a rush.

Claire teases him and he smiles back at her

Believe me or not but if y'all see his face closely, he actually does respond to her by smiling before it cuts to "A Netflix Original Anime Series" text. Damn Capcom always gives us the subtle hints. And again, I didn't realize this at the first because it only plays for a brief moment.

Yup. Thank me later because I'm not done yet🤣

THIS

Can we talk that Leon practically jumps and runs on a collapsing bridge? Not to mention, there's a pool of acid below it. Homeboy really gives it all out.

I just love the fact that Capcom highlights this scene before it cuts to Resident Evil Infinite Darkness title text. Like it's something so dramatic.

Want something more?

This

AND FINALLY THIS

THESE SUBTLE HINTS ARE GOING TO SEND ME TO MY DEATH. CAPCOM DON'T FREAKING TEASE US LET THEM BE TOGETHER FOR PETE'S SAKE!

Anyway, reason why I ship both of them together is because their relationship is always based on trust. Leon is always sincere to Claire everytime they meet. And it seems like at the end of the day, Claire will always be the person he trusts no matter what. They have such a natural and healthy relationship. Claire never lies to him and has shown great concern to him several times in RE 2 REMAKE. On the other hand, Leon too has shown his concern of her in Degeneration. But let's continue that in other post.

I know this post is veryyy looooong. Please don't mind me because they're my otp for a very long goddamn time, dammit🤣

I lost count of it.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk✨

#cleon #claire redfield #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy #give us the cleon we want god dammit capcom #leon x claire #leon and claire #claire and leon #claire x leon #resident evil infinite darkness #re infinite darkness #now is the time for cleon #even sherry ships them #it's been years goddammit

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dreamii-yume · 3 years

Text

New Episode Update Let’s GOO!!!

Warning : This is just Yume having a mental breakdown, seriously. This episode update was WHACK.

~ MAJOR SPOILERS FOR 68-75 ~

I know we ain’t participating and all but the game reminding you that there’s 10 minutes left to prepare is seriously bad for my heart.

Aah, shiet. Vil is still hurt.

He still has small wounds and scratches that he hid make up. Daddy, I’m worried.

Apparently, yeah, I’m not the only one cause my homeboy, Epel just asked to switch the center role with Vil. THE CONFIDENCE.

Aw, he’s worried about him falling over during stage (And make the performance look bad) Come on, Epel just be honest-

...He finally became the ideal poisoned apple that Vil wanted, huh?

Vil being proud a mom.

But the queen inside him is STRONG.

He’ll embrace the villain in him, OUR QUEEN CAN STILL GO. INJURED, WHO?

...AAND he proceeds to roast Epel again lol Typical Vil.

I love how Epel just accepted a nickname like “Doku Ringo-chan” lol It’s so cute, senior-junior relationship goals right there.

HERE WE GO.

Everyone is actually really confident hahaha

I really wish Deuce’s mom, Ace’s brother, Jamil’s sister, and Vil’s dad were here in person to watch.

HECK I WANT KALIM’S WHOLE FAMILY HERE WHY NOT

T-THEY’RE REALLY LETTING US HEAR THE FULL SONG.

IS THAT JAMIL RAPPING.

Look at Jamil’s solo SD dancing. LOOK AT IT.

I really fucking love Vil’s singing voice aaa

HIS VOICE IS SO GOOD.

Album when disney.

Is Vil okay.

...aight im hearing some high quality panting here

...dont mind me listening to it a bit too much...

...they’re going to be great reference for some spicy- leave me alone

Vil panting is making me feel SOMETHING.

ANYWAY. THE CROWD IS A MOOD.

IS VIL OKAY.

Unmei no megami is giving me idia ptsd here.

Heartslabyul Senpais are watching their kids, looking all proud *sniff

Oh god, after playing Obey Me, it just occurred to me how similar Cater and Asmodeus’ voices are...

Watch these Senpai dorks act like Ace and Deuce’s second family. Trey being the dad, Riddle being the mom, and Cater being the supportive big bro. It’s so beautiful.

Riddle’s voice is a lot more softer now, I just realized...It’s so soothing...

God i miss u too octavinelle never change

Yeah, why tf did Floyd not audition for this

Bro, can you imagine Nobuhiko Okamoto in the squad as well??? IMAGINE-

Of course, he wasn’t in the mood back then. Of course. Why did i even ask.

IMAGINE FLOYD BEING IN VDC NEXT YEAR.

Omg i miss u too octavinelle never change

Azul’s gonna overblot again with Floyd’s marketing skills lol

Jade coming in like welp i guess thats that. Too bad, huh Azul?

GOD i miss u too octavinelle never change

SAVANA BITCHES HI

I wonder if these mfs knew that Vil just overblotted and malmal was the one who fixed the stage lol

oooh Leona’s sus about something he a sharp boi

Speak up my guy—

still so weird leona taking his job seriously

Malleus looking happier seeing this performance rather than Lilia’s lol

I miss the simpery in Sebek

Silver’s not in the verge of falling into a coma for once wow

Chenya’s so cute.

AND WE’RE BACK TO CUTE HEIGH HO TEAM

fcking shotacons man...im not one to talk

Aw, they didn’t show Neige performance...

The simping in the crowd is a MASSIVE mood.

WHO WINS TELL ME

These night raven fuckers better vote for us and not pull a “oh shie my hand slipped lololol” i swear to god- im gonna throw hands

*me holding my phone and pretending to vote as well

Suspense music intensifies be like-

HAAA

BOIS, ITS ONE VOTE DIFFERENCE WHO IS IT AAAA

WHAT.

HOW DARE- HOW!? HOW DID WE LOSE!?

WE LOST BY ONE VOTE!?

EVERYONE’S SO SHOCKED LOL

vil pls dont overblot again-

Noooo grim’s tuna cans-

WE REALLY LOST TO A LEGIT KIDS SONG.

These children do not have the right to be this cute. I wanna take Timmy, Toby, and Shelpie home.

I swear to god one of these dwarves sounds like Cheka lol Is it Toby?

EPEEELLLL DONT CRRYYYY

KALIMMMM DONT CRRYYYY

KALIM HAVING THE AUDACITY TO SOUNDING LIKE A BIG BROTHER AND THEN CRYING HIS OWN RIGHT AFTER LOLOLOL

I HATE THIS EPISODE YALL MADE MY TWO BOIS CRY IM FIGHTING THIS EPISODE. BURN THIS.

This background music too though im deeeeddd

KALIM IM SO SORRY FOR MAKING A SINFIC ABOUT YOU PLS DONT CRY-

Jamil impressed about Vil being “calm” and Vil just going “h e h. you dont even know.”

....ha...

Monsieur Rook. WHAT did you say.

ROOK VOTED FOR ROYAL SWORD. Are you kidding me. You snek how could you- i loved you

WHAT DID I SAY- Ya’ll night raven fuckers shall not slip by their fingers when voting rook.

Vil is in the brink of passing out aaaaa

I have never heard Ace this pissed before whoa- lol he sounds like Deuce in his delinquent mode

Aw...Rook felt that Neige’s performance carries a stronger bond than theirs :’( it’s hard to put the blame on him when he’s saying all these stuff

It’s just like what they said in the past episodes that it’s really hard voting for your own team when you know the opposing team is better.

Aww...He just wanted Vil to believe in himself more...Rook is such a best man. Im crying-

Oh noooo is Vil gonna cry too nooo- daddy turned to baby really quick SOMEONE GIVE HIM AN EMERGENCY HUG

Well- at least...at least the 100 year record of not being able to win is still going, yeah? Um...bad joke? Sorry, i’ll see myself out-

NEIGE NOT NOW AND YOUR VII-KUN BULLSHIT- we’re having a moment here

Neige is such sweetheart but aaaahh— This makes it worse, we can’t even hate him aaa—

OMG JUST WHEN I THOUGHT THINGS COULDN’T- AAAAA

MONSIEUR ROOK. YOU’RE A FAN OF NEIGE!?

MOTHERFUCKER just got exposed by Neige himself lol

Going to Neige’s shake hand events, sending him letters, buying all his merch and shie- HE’S A FULL BLOWN NEIGE STAN

WTF YOU SNEK GET OUT OF THIS SCHOOL-

OOOOHHH THAT FUCKING ALBUM- HIS “LIFE’S WORK” or whatever bullshit IS FULL OF NEIGE

...actually- my japanese is lacking- im not sure lol what is a ブロマイド??? Lol I feel like a clown.

Rook is sweating profusely LOL

...what do you have to say for yourself, monsieur rook.

Wait- huh is that-

IS HE GONNA CRY-

WHY IS EVERYONE CRYING!??!?!?!

HE’S SILENTLY CRYING AS HE INTRODUCED HIMSELF TO NEIGE WHAT. THE. FUCK IS THIS EPISODE.

Neige fanclub??? Eternal Snow??? What kind of creepy-ass- OH, HE EVEN HAS A MEMBERSHIP NUMBER TOO-

Props to Neige with his :) expression unfaltering.

I’m- I’m speechless.

Vil is just looking down at Rook in disappointment like- “you’re more pathetic than I am”

Queen just went “I think you need this handkerchief more than I do now” THAT’S RIGHT. REPENT MOTHERFUCKER.

Rook crying is cursed.

But damn, I’m kinda liking this new relationship this bitchy relationship they have

Neige just dragged everyone’s ass back on stage and his snow white energy just said “LETS ALL BE FRIENDS AND SING”

NEIGE IS FUCKING GREAT- HE REALLY DID GOT THESE BITCHES TO SING HEIGH HO LOL

ACE’S RELUCTANT SINGING AND DEUCE LOOKING LIKE HE’S HAVING FUN

KALIM IS SUCH A MOOD, SINGING EVEN WITHOUT KNOWING THE LYRICS AND JAMIL JUST HAVING THAT “i want to die” ENERGY

AIGHT. ROOK IS HAVING WAY TOO MUCH FUN AND EPEL IS TRYING HIS BEST. HE’S SO CUTE-

OMG NEIGE AND VIL HAVING SUCH GOOD HARMONY—

YAHOO Y A H O O TANOSHIINDA~~

YA’LL SURE ABOUT GIVING ME THIS BLESSED MOMENT??

What a somewhat happy ending, even though Rook just backstabbed us I’m crying Beauté 100 points!!!

LOL Vil realizing he’s having fun singing with Neige- “SOMEONE JUST END ME RIGHT NOW-“ The desperation in his voice-

I love how Neige’s yahoo yahoo is messing with everyone’s head, even Vil wants to pass out lol

haha Crowley is so depressed lol

WHA- WHO-

HEADMASTER OF ROYAL SWORD!?

He looks like your typical grandpa- and his outfit looks like that one mickey mouse wizard outfit but blue—

Old man just went “we won lol” just to piss Crowley off I like this guy’s energy already-

Crowley being most likely as old as this guy—

ooohh this man just sensed something in this stage- Leona did too, didn’t he???

* Damn. Crowley talking so fast sounds like he’s making a load of bullshit lol

Anyway, I’m just glad that it’s not mickey mouse who’s the headmaster— I would’ve lost my shit.

We’re back in our dorms and I forgot that the squad doesn’t live with us anymore. It’s suddenly so lonely now...

Grim is getting the yahoo yahoo ptsd too lol it’s too goddamn catchy

oooohh shiet- mickey is calling us again

YES we finally got a good picture of this motherfucker

It seems like nothing is disrupting our communication this time, so MC thought to call Grim but—

Grim is not here.

Uuhhh...Grim? Where you’ve gone??? We’re getting flashbacks of the first parts of the game.

We went out to find Grim and HE’S CHOMPING ON ANOTHER BLACK STONE ON THE STAGE-

GRIM SPIT THAT OUT YOU LOOK TERRIFYING

AAAAAHH GRIM HAS GONE FERAL— He’s attacking US

Is this because we didn’t win his tuna canss nooo

NoOO SWEET BABY COME BACK.

Legit I’m sad, please baby don’t overblot like this...

He learned a new move though- SCRATCH

Ooh— We’re seeing some Ignihyde scenes here~

P U H I H I

Idia getting a lot of emails from bigshot companies whoa—

THAT OLYMPUS—?! EXCUSE ME??? Ortho what- Are we finally getting that Hercules episode—

Damn getting a hot chance in olympus only to put them down the recycling bin oof— Idia why edit : Yume was informed that olympus is kind of a company that sponsored VDC sorry she was mind-fucked at this moment and the ability to understand proper Japanese just went whoosh lol Thanks to @starshiningsirius for pointing it out for Yume~ ♥︎ HONESTLY YUME’S JUST GONNA WAIT FOR ACTUAL PROFESSIONAL TRANSLATORS AT THIS POINT LOL Don’t trust me for important situation too much lol

Aaaahh...We’re getting this shut-in out of his room in the next episode, are we?

And that concludes the whole Pomefiore Episode! JESUS CHRIST 75 CHAPTERS ALL IN ALL!? How long is the Ignihyde chapter going to be, huh!?

This was a really, really fun episode lol I’d consider this a fan service episode actually cause of all the things we get to experience— The singing, dancing, and the new songs, THE DRAMA. (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

But then, the plot thickens, no? What’s going to happen to Grim? In the Ignihyde episode? And those reoccurring memories of us? And our relationship with Tsunotarou lol ALSO WE NEVER REALLY DID FIND OUT WHAT ROOK’S UNIQUE MAGIC IS. DISNEY EXPLAIN—

Thanks for reading this shitpost of Yume losing her shiet lol See you all in the Ignihyde Episode~ ❤

#twisted wonderland #spoilers #episode 5 #Talk with Yume

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fatal-rewrites-warriors · 3 years

Note

Ok legit actual 100% honestly the last ones.

Disaster couple Branchtail and Brokentooth. Both thunderclan

Branchtail is an absolute nervous wreck with a tail that broke once and never quite healed right so it's always bent (was named Before his tail got broken dw, it's just Starclan being assholes not his leader) and homeboy just. He just wants to help gather herbs for the healer and work on den building

Brokentooth (named himself because he's an edgy bastard) was a rogue that joined Thunderclan and the second he met Branchtail started flirting Hard. Absolute stinky man who enjoys irritating everyone outside his clan and also some cats inside the clan.

They met when Branchtail was gathering herbs at Sunningrocks, where Brokentooth, going by his old rogue name which I really should have written down at some point Oops, came up and said "I own these rocks lol. Btw, tell ur leader I wanna fight. Also you're cute." And walked away, leaving Branchtail very confused, mildly alarmed, and Absolutely fucking flustered.

The fight never happened btw, the leader arrived and Brokentooth went "tight, you actually showed up. Cool if I join you nerds?" And for some reason was let in. Starclan can't stop him he's too strong. But at the same time he and Branchtail are clingy as hell to each other. Branchtail goes on a patrol and Brokentooth mopes around camp all "when will my husband return from the war, I am withering without his affection" as an elder shoves him out of the way.

that is so cute omg i love Brokentooth

#oc night

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pettyprocrastination · 4 years

Note

for the love of god please give us some austin powers!whiskey headcanons o queen of au's 😔we're just sluts for ur content

My mf babe boo lee validating this dumb au that i love so fucking much aksksks i have like two hours before all the thanksgiving stuff happens so if anybody wants to send me whiskey shit for this au DO IT!!!

warnings: uhh talk of sex and porn, foul language. theres zero organization or skill put into these i just threw ‘em out there lmao

So the general consensus of this au for those who dont know, is an austin powers au. Yes i said that.

Jack “whiskey” Daniels is an statesmen from the 70’s who is hailed as a legend for all the lives hes saved and ploys for global terrorism he’d stopped. In his prime, he was cryogenically frozen until the statesmen would need him at a later date (reasoning behind this is vague, even whiskey himself doesnt remember why. He get flashes of distant memories and emotions around it all, but they're gone as soon as they come.)

Cut to modern time, you’re scotch. One of the best agents who’s known for getting the job done with little to no issues, but not known to be a socializer. You are tasked as agent whiskey’s new partner as he is unfrozen and helping him adapt to the new world.

Now lets get into the fun stuff

With adapting to the new world, you had to teach whiskey about the internet and my god was that tiring.

He still doesn't get the point of dating apps. “I don’t need a little device to help me get laid, i do just fine with my charms and southern hospitality.” you're pretty sure he only says that because he cant figure out how the fuck to use tinder but you let it go.

Whiskey hates porn. Like DESPISES it. This is something he decided to tell you with an “urgent” phone call at three in the fucking morning.

“She’s faking! Thayer all faking!! What’s the point if she doesn’t enjoy it? It’s all a lie! This poor woman looks like she’s in pain!! They’ve made sex a production!! What has this world come to!?!”

You hang up and go back to sleep.

But yeah whiskey hates it. It’s all fake and over the top and just...not what he thinks sex should be.

To him sex isn’t a production or a race. It’s a celebration of attraction between consenting adults.

He enjoys the ametur made stuff, where there’s legitimate attraction between those involved

This doesn't mean he’s vanilla in anyway, he just hates that porn isnt really...sex. Its not mutual pleasure, its all jarring categories, fake moaning and very sexist foundation.

Once he finds the animal video part of the internet? Oh he’s as good as gone. He thin begins to send you links to videos' showcasing friendships between unlikely pairs, such as a sea lion and a horse, or a monkey and a ferret. You don’t tell him that you watch them all late at night when you cant sleep.

He fucking loves nature documentaries. Especially deep sea ones, focusing on fish that light up or are see-through and shit like that.

If you watch them with him you admit its...kind of adorable. Like seeing a kid all wide-eyed at the aquarium.

“You know what’d make this really interesting??”

“We aren’t doing lsd while watching blue planet, stop asking me that.”

He’s done drugs, like, a lot back in the day. Statesmen is stricter now, with regular mandatory drug tests so whiskey cant go out, partying like a madman and taking whatever he pleases.

Whiskey is bisexual . As is basically everybody i write so when you tell him same sex marriage is legal in all 50 states he legit tears up.

“Never thought I’d live to see the day.” hes so overjoyed at the news. He knows there's still a long way to go but seeing that, something he’d only dreamed and fantasize about while drawing shapes on the chest of his lover? Oh it makes his heart soar.

Whiskey is a man with brazen sexuality but of course aware of boundaries. First day you met him you turned down his advances, he accepted this and then decided to latch on as your best friend AND wingman! :D

You cannot escape this fate you're stuck with him now.

Anytime you go out to a bar he scouts for potential suitors. “How about the blonde at the counter, they're your style!” and before you can tell him NO he’s already swaggering over and chatting you up to them.

Whiskey, although you hate to say it, is a charming man. Hes kind and suave and will sing the praises of somebody hed only just met and have them melting in a puddle right in front of him. It’s annoying really. You have to listen to all the women at work swoon over him and talk about how youre soooo lucky to be working with him. He must be such a dream in the field. What's it like?

You plainly tell them that the other day you saw him get stuck in a revolving door and he asked for your help.

To get out

Of a door.

You will NEVER admit this to him but when you were a green agent?? Just starting out?? You had a major crush on the legendary agent whiskey. You’d only seen the photos and heard the stories but god you thought he was amazing.

Then you became a skilled agent yourself (perhaps also talented with a whip and lasso) and finally met the man himself when he was unfrozen.

Whiskey calls you “little filly” and will make jokes about how you need to respect your elders. You know since he’s technically like 89 years old lmao.

Whiskey hates that women gotta shave, he thinks you should do it if you want but the societal pressure of it? He hates it.

And lets be real, he’s a man of the 70’s so he fucking worships bush. (the pussy not the president) (i have a lot of thoughts on this)

He can and will go down for hours on end, almost selfish with it because he gets as much pleasure from it as you. Pressing kisses and nips on your thighs, mumbling praise against you, homeboy gets straight up pussy drunk and doesn’t know how to speak coherent sentences anymore.

He’s a cuddler. Even before you started dating he was just very affectionate and touchy. You once had to sleep together for warmth on a mission where you were stuck in the middle of nowhere during winter and he nuzzled and cuddled you all night long with a dazed smile. (he’s also your own personal space heater so that’s nice)

You thought you were over the hype and worship of agent whiskey,and you are, but when you get to know him as a friend and not an agent. As Jack, the fool who cuddles and tries to pair you up and sings out of key while cooking? God help you, your heart starts beating when you see his dimples and big goofy smile and all you can think is. “Oh fuck.”

anyways i reall y love this au and have many thoughts please sedn requests or hcs or anything you want me to expand on <3

#ask #asks #jack whiskey daniels #agent whiskey #agent whiskey x reader #jack daniels x reader #statesmen #kingsmen the golden circle #kingsmen golden circle #jack austin powers au #this is so dumb but fun #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters

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moons-and-stars-and-shit · 3 years

Note

Hi! I saw your blog cause you reblogged one of my crack ideas on my hq account and I think it’s super cute! Is it possible I can request a cake? I’m curious to see who you’d put me with :)

I have no idea what I’m supposed to put in this, but! My name is Spencer (at least that’s the one I’m trying out rn, but it’s comfy I like it) and I use he/him pronouns. I’m 5’10ish & I currently have black hair that I dye from time to time (probably going to dye it red next). My hair is like...a little past the top of my ears, but it’s an undercut (think Kenma with black hair ig). I have really thin brown eyes (a lot of people think I’m Asian I’m not lol they’re just hooded). I’m not exactly built thin but that’s something I’m ✨insecure✨ about so we’re not gonna get into that lol

Personality wise,,,idk I’m 90% self-deprecating and the other 10% is sarcasm. I’d like to think I’m a pretty creative person although I’m extremely logical. Creativity is more for fun vs logical on a day-to-day basis if that makes sense?

I used to be really athletic but I started doing other things and since then that’s kinda dwindled away. However lately I’ve been trying to kick ✨depression✨ in the ass and get back into being athletic and stuff. I’m learning how to box and a few friends and I want to take up volleyball when it gets warmer. I used to be a soccer player though and I want to start doing that again, too.

A lot of people tell me I’m musically talented. I like to think I am on a good day, I guess (I’m bad about describing myself lol sorry). But I play a little piano and ukulele but I play guitar & sing mostly.

Even though I try not to be I’m super competitive and legit subconsciously turn everything into a competition, but I try to stay lighthearted about it. Even though I come off cold to people when I meet them (RBF + introvert yikes) I really care about my friends and wear my heart on my sleeve even though I try not to show it.

Quick stuff if this isn’t too long already?

Zodiac: Sun-Leo Moon-Virgo Rising-Cancer

MBTI: INPT-T

Asked my friends what colors they’d describe me with & made this:

Favorite anime is either the disastrous life of saiki k or haikyuu!! (leaning towards hq tho)

I don’t have a favorite color but I wear a lot of red and black

Punk/slightly alt style with a lot of graphic tshirts? That’s basically my style

And yeah! I’m sorry if this is really long lol I tend to ramble when I don’t know what to say heh

Spence back again 😅😅 I forgot to attach the pretty color thing my friend told me to make

@spence0112

Hahaaaaaaaa 😅 sorry for the wait but thank you for your patience 😭

Romantic Matchup

Tendou Satori

How Y’all Met

Ight kinda embarrassing

But y’all Met in therapy 🤠

Yup

Group therapy

Legit every time he heard you talk

He was like:

Mood

Felt that

Relatable

So after group he went up to you and was just like

“Hey if you ever need to talk to someone I’m always available!”

And he gave you his digits 😗

Ok fast forward a bit

You we’re having a REALLY bad day

Like the depression was kicking tour ass

And you don’t know why

But you called our boy Tendou

Oop homeboy ZOOMED over to you

He was like do you wanna talk about it

And you said no, you just needed something to take your mind off of your ✨depressive state✨

He remembered you saying something about wanting to learn volleyball

And it was the end of the day... 👀

So he took you to practice with him

It was actually super fun!

He taught you all sorts of moves

And you we’re really impressed by his guest blocking

By the end of practice you felt a lot better

And you actually decided to join the volleyball team

Tendou was super excited to have you as his teammate!

Y’all started to hang out CONSTANTLY

You guys were just super close

So no one was really shocked when you two started dating 👀

They were expecting it actually...

What They Love About You

He loves that he can relate to you

And vice versa

Y’all truly just understand each other

He loves that your willing to battle your depression

It honestly inspires him to kick the rest of his depression in the ass

He loves your style!

He would wear jeans and a t shirt every day if he could

Matching t-shirts 👀 👀 👀

He loves how naturaly caring you are

He can see past the rbf so don’t worry about that

But the fact that you treat people with care and kindness is a plus for him

Favorite Things To Do Together

Ok this could go two ways

Option A is the definition of crackhead things

A lot of midnight shopping trips

A lot of gas station hauls

You get the gist

Or there’s option B

Which Is very chill 🙂

He likes to just stay in and watch anime or read manga with you

So whatever’s more your vibe

But he likes doing both 👀

Random Hc

His favorite anime is Saiki K as well 😗

So that’s the show you two always watch together

You two

Do in fact

Have matching t-shirts

Ahhhh so cute

You guys told your therapy group you were dating 😭

They were surprisingly supportive 👀

Astrology

When Taurus and Leo come together in a love affair, they can be a great couple because they know how to stroke one another’s egos and love to have their own stroked!

They have similar needs: Taurus needs plenty of affection, to be loved and cherished, while Leo likes compliments and wants to be adored and admired.

They’re both extremely loyal and possessive lovers.

Since they have such similar desires, they can generally provide for one another’s needs quite well.

These two Signs both love status and possessions.

They prize physical comfort and luxury; Leo is often flamboyant about attentions and gift-giving, which will greatly please Taurus, who loves the most traditional forms of courtship.

Though they can work together quite well, it’s not all roses between these two; both Signs are very stubborn and must work hard to understand and accept one another.

Overall Aesthetic

2000 Retro

Out of my league - Fitz and the tantrums

Dissolve - Absofacto

Boyfriend - Coin

Wait a minute- Willow

I’m sorry this is just to cute not to add 😭

(NOT MY ART)

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu fandom #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu matchups #tendou #tendou satori #tendou x reader #tendou x y/n

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