#can you tell im suffering

[4rr3st]

this week 3x3 :D

#can you tell im suffering

[ghostking-world]

ahh the way your own family just crushes you into nothing and go "if we don't tell you, who will" and "its all your fault" and then expect me to accept them with warm loving hugs

#i hate this #and i hate myself #can you tell im suffering #haha end me

[foxeroni]

I bring more crumbs for boat boys/smalletho enjoyers in the form of lets not forget that Joel permakilled etho in last life

#can you tell im suffering #i want a reunion #and its never happening #but there are crumbs #trafficshipping #if you want it to be #boat boys #smalletho #last life #fox fails tasks

[dontbelasagne]

desperately need to do a presentation on why the Twelfth Doctors journey perfectly represents the transfem experience

their previous eleventh incarnation being suave and hypersexual (i know moffat is mostly to blame but!) is reminiscent of attempts to fit into heteronormative ideals of masculinity. whilst it is not completely insincere, there are obvious signs this does not fit you as a person, it is acted out of desperate need to being seen. as Vastra put it, eleven wore that face, and subsequently that form of masculinity, to be accepted. on becoming twelve, realising even an "idealised" masculinity does not inherently serve them, they retreated into themselves as a person for self-reflection and trying to understand why they feel so detached from who they are.

the "am i a good man" arc mirrors being closeted and having to present as something not inherently tied to your sense of self, but still wanting to be the best of your perceived gender as any failure could leave you spiralling into self-doubt about simply being like any other "man". you ignore your gender dysphoria/questioning by trying to claim a moralistic view of gendered expression. made even more clear by Twelve rejecting Clara's heroic view of them, establishing that even though they have made efforts to be a "good man", that is just a placeholder for their loss of identity.

Missy appearing as she does, who as a character serves as a parallel to The Doctor on what they could become, and her eventual arc in trying to become good is symbolic of the fear around transition regret that internalised transphobia can create when you are closeted. Missy never gives importance to their fem existence other than nonchalant jokes, rather showing a more free and expressive personality devoid of any frustration. this immediately dismisses the transphobic assumption that trans people are only focused on their gender. also, Missy representing trans femininity is inherently tied to chaos and upsetting the status quo, she is the embodiment of what society considers accepting your womanhood as someone previously labelled masculine. what many others, and The Doctor themselves, saw as a need for attention and senseless disruption is Missy not needing to serve a false version of who they are, that they can now focus on becoming whoever they want to be now without losing energy to performing a gender that society has imposed on you. Missy could never have made the decision to stand with The Doctor if she had not given importance to her own queerness.

it wasn't coincidence with meeting Bill, she was the perfect foil for The Doctor to finally let go of their anxious attachment to masculinity. i would even argue for the majority of s10, The Doctor is largely ambiguous in their gender identity and does not fit into any construction of masculinity or femininity. whilst they still present as something socially labelled as masculine, they do not internalise that gender expression. they are uncaring about and not needing the validity that comes with heteronormativity, and thus is free to finally accept the decision they have to make. as Bill says, it is so hard to let go of The Doctor, and that rings true for twelve themselves. but they begin to realise The Doctor can be anyone. yes, they are tired, it would be so easy to simply rest and not give value to who you can become. but choosing to let go of everything you once were to survive is better than oblivion. it is better to let go, to choose another lifetime where the only person that dies is your falsity, to finally get it right and choose kindness. for yourself and for those who you love. they regenerate, not just into another person, but into someone who (if only tv scripts...) can now move forward.

#can you tell the only thoughts i have are of twelve? #this is why im kind of disappointed with the thirteenth doctors arc #like sure they're allowed dimensions as a character and to have dark moments #but there was a chance to show the nuances with relearning how to live and accept joy for yourself #as someone who has grieved and suffered loss and is detached #i know these themes arent just about transhood but dont you think they fit so beautifully? #this makes me want to bounce off the walls #doctor who #dw #twelfth doctor #peter capaldi #12th doctor #thirteenth doctor #jodie whittaker #13th doctor #long post

[moeblob]

Me, too, Blade. Me. Too.

(I am taking donations to buy a gigantic $250 stuffed cheeseburger. It's giant. I want it. I will never obtain it. I saw it in a shop window and..... wow. Big.)

#honkai star rail #hsr blade #kafka #you guys this thing was fucking huge but i cant spend 250 on it lmao #also the way to tell i love characters or a game a lot is by if i draw them being stupid #i love blade so much hes so funny and suffering.... #do not actually give me money to buy a giant burger #i walk around and its so big and i am so small #i would have to actually drive my car just to put a giant stuffed burger in it #there is absolutely no way i can even hold this thing on the way home #i have in fact told my sister this very sadly before i found out the price this morning #i was lamenting last night over giant borger in window........ i want it....... #then i saw the price and was like WELP guess not lol #ill post art for a different fandom later hopefully but this was super important to me to draw #specifically with these characters #worst case scenario i fail my own self inflicted october challenge of a different series each day #but hsr gets two days worst case scenario which isnt bad #im so sorry to anyone who wants to look at mr blade in serious situations i am incapable of serious

[skitskatdacat63]

"Sometimes you learn more things from the difficulties than from the celebrations"

#google play 'handsome devil' by the smiths #god he's so charming and handsome for how much this race devestated him and all of nando girles(gn) #the lighting in this interview is genuinely immaculate #like seriously why is he always at his most attractive when suffering the absolute most #he dnfs and is slow all wknd and then looks absolutely godly and beautiful #so yeah as you can tell. im very enamored by post mexico fernando #also i liked this interview it was very very comforting #you should always watch his interviews after bad races bcs they really just remove all depression you may have #like: 1. he always looks so beautiful and stunning. 2. he is usually pretty rational abt the results and comofrting #yeah the quote i picked is ultra cope ofc. but hey i love cope!!! #i was so upset and done after this race just so tired of it and then i watched this interview and i feel like a happy little creature again #fernando alonso #2023 mexican gp #2023 mexican grand prix #fa14 #we do a little bit of f1 #f1 #formula 1 #formula one

[aquickstart]

so you know that oliver loves felix, that oliver lives in the shakespearean love drama, that oliver lies and fails. but for a terrifying moment imagine this: he lies about deliberately throwing up the poison, and threw it up because he genuinely couldn't stomach it, too much alcohol or what have you; maybe even forgot he did, maybe thought that throwing up wouldn't help the overdose. for a terrifying, poetic moment, imagine he lies to us about everything else because he did not expect to survive felix.

the swig of the wine was a gamble, but not in the way you'd think. oliver was freshly rejected, oliver came to his last resort: the poetic romeo ending to his juliet lover dying. felix would die in the maze, and oliver would in his bed, overnight.

how genuinely startled he is out of sleep by the family's cries! how grief-stricken he is, how fast he clings to whatever's left of felix!

he should have died. he failed to die. he lives to spin the new, equally beautiful tale.

#saltburn #cattonquick #how insane is this be honest. i love this pathetic little man so much can you tell #by the way i make him suffer even more than he evidently did. #im so not normal about this #mine #saltburn journaling

[charcoaledrocks]

oughnhh my wifemnng ,,,,,

was gonna colour but its not easy to colour big drawings , esp in roblox free draw :,)

#doodles #my art #lego monkie kid #lmk #lmk fanart #lmk sun wukong #lmk monkey king #sun wukong #roblox free draw #free draw #im going feral over these legos #can you tell #im so sorry to those who followed for welcome home stuffs #you get to suffer with me <3 #( said lovingly ) #tbh i dont like how this came out #wish i couldve done better :( #BUT THATS OKAY #im getting used to drawing him #slowly #eventually #probably #hopefully

[abstractpenny]

average day in the life of a writer:

wake up past 1 pm

open your 300 words of writing

stare at it blankly, struggling to come up with ideas for hours

eat food

keep staring

write a sentence

erase the sentence because it sucks

close writing document

cry yourself to sleep at 4 in the morning because you'll never be able to make your dreams a reality

repeat

the RARE HOLY day in the life of a writer:

wake up around noon

open writing document

crank out 30,000 words in two hours

eat food

crank out another 30k (in an hour this time)

daydream

daydream more

have human interaction (god forbid)

go to sleep at a reasonable time (two in the morning)

never repeat because its impossible to get two of these in a row :(

#writing #writer #writing problems #im suffering can you tell #ao3 #archive of our own #fanfiction writer #writing struggle #bad sleep schedules #its a canon event #fanfic #fanfiction #yeehaw #relatable

[nerime]

my coworkers are being turbo transphobic and literally refuse to listen to answers to questions they fucking ask argh!!! I can just tell you!!! I can just answer you!!!!! I have answers!!! to the ridiculous questions you ask in a mocking way!!!! if you listen for one second I can just fucking explain!!!! 😡😭😡😭

#they ask why would trans men NEED tampons for men since they are WOMEN why cant they juat use WOMEN ones those stupid silly women ugh #they keep coming back to the topic #and im like hey they are not women ^_^ and try to explain the concept #in easy kindergarten terms like hey you know how you wouldnt want to buy pink girly items because you are a (cis) guy! well #and them im cut off with more transphobic shit before i can say anything else #my coworker literally said her son told her and her husband they were playing spin the bottle on a school trip #and she asked so did you kiss any girls? and he said #sure when it landed on a girl then i kissed a girl (implying he also kissed guys) #and she said her husband was so shocked because hes conservative #while she said she just ordered the son not to say anything else #and she tells us 'i think he was just testing us or something' #wtf. i said well okay maybe he was testing your reactions and now hes not gonna tell you shit anymore #and she went like hm 🤔 #also the irony of saying her HUSBAND is conservative while she fucking. misgenders trans men all day and jokes about gay men constantly #in a nasty way #all of them do #im so tired #she complained kids nowadays are so caaual about gay people #and i said okay well i love it personally they should keep it up #and NO ONE at the table supported/agreed with me #sorry i am on a work trip and suffering #transphobia tw #neri stfu

[kero-ish]

i actually really dont like this sketch but i thought id share it anyway first (Second) time doodling kai so i have absolutely no idea what im doing!!!!!!!! this is the consequences of being in "art block" due to having to work on zine piece, i cannot think of any ideas, only characters, so i end up with little scribbles like this

he could take razlo in a fight

#im actually incredibly ashamed no one look #no i just want attention #kai #dorohedoro #dorohedoro kai #dorohedoro hole #i cant just tag this with hole #fandom #fan art #im not tagging it so steal it if you want idfc #actually dont please that was a joke #sketch #doodle #dorohedoro spoilers #you can tell that im suffering #all that im drawing IS BUSTS DAMN IT #kai dorohedoro

[goldiipond]

the word terrorist has lost pretty much all meaning to me because 90% of the time a white person says that word its used as a shorthand for 'nonwhite people resisting oppression'

#skye's ramblings #im soo fucking tired of seeing zionists spout their genocidal bullshit on literally any post abt palestine. im soo fucking angry #ive been trying not to have a meltdown on here but every day this continues i get more and more pissed. how many more people have to die. #we protest and scream in the streets and give anything we can spare and fucking nothing changes bc western democracy is a fucking scam #daily reports of brown children slaughtered and people will smirk behind the safety of their screens and smugly tell you they deserved it. #my native aunts and cousins who are still suffering from the effects of colonialism watch as the descendants of people who took everything #-use their tax money to send more bombs to an illegitimate state that is doing the exact same fucking thing in real time. i want to scream #god dammit im so fucking tired. i will never lose hope but god damn. i am so tired of white people feeling entitled to fucking everything

[rouge-the-bat]

"i need to know if this character is an adult or not so i know if i can selfship with them!" ...my dude you clearly are already attracted to them ??? like. gurl theyre FICTIONAL. do whatever the fuck you want god damn.

self ship with them with them aged up. or with an imaginary version of you aged down. or just hc whatever gd age you want for them whether or not it ends up being canon (or its already stated in canon but doesnt match ur view of them). or selfship yourself with them through a character in canon. you can literally just see your fictional other as aging with you. who fucking cares. its fiction. the specifics of the relationship is whatever the hell you make it.

its literally so sad to see people being afraid to just SELF SHIP because they dont know if its potentially ~problematic~ depending on stuff they can easily just rule out of their own view of canon 💀 canon is your sandbox you can tear down the castle and build it anew however to your liking

#im glad that shadow is canonically immortal and hiei has no stated age #bc if people tried to give me shit for being in love with either of them i would fucking kill someone #i fell in love with shadow years ago through shipping him with rouge and i still love him now. he ''ages'' with me #and hiei i technically hc him as nearly a hundred but hes a demon #and i selfship with him through kurama who has also lived for centuries so #i swear you dont have to drop off your fictional crushes from your teen years when you turn an adult. you can just see them as aging with u #just. man. OTL #seeing ppl being like this is so sad fr. this shipping discourse shit is making ppl walk on eggshells over the littlest shit #anti fanpol #like its different for real life bc yea sometimes u cant always tell someones age by looking at them #u can find someone attractive and talk to them and find out theyre too young for you. so you back off #but like. this is fiction. things arent set in stone. the creator can make a time skip for the characters and so can you #and plus. theyre NOT REAL. you wouldnt be harming a REAL PERSON. and its not at all comparable to the suffering and abuse of REAL PEOPLE

[dailykugisaki]

Day thirty-six |id in alt

I love jujutsu kaisen but you can't tell me everything the curses do is purely physical, some of these kids gotta go through 1 hour of horribly made bass boosted songs while fighting.

Going through the Most.

#dailykugisaki #jjk #kugisaki nobara #zenin maki #idk what kind of thing it takes for anything to qualify as a shit #10/10 times im struggling to figure out how people kiss the kiss and make sense #IM DOIN MY BEST OKAYY #Also i was two seconds away from writing straight up choctaw in the Altas #Alts* #Can you tell im suffering?

[sweet-potato-42]

hey imagine qtubbo is dead for real permanently and cctubbo just returns as creation or some other character

it would be so unexpected and could make for an interesting story

#qsmp #qsmp tubbo #tubbo #can you tell im going through all possibilities rn #it would be SO interesting #just have a characyers story end suddenly #since it does happen like people can just die even when they had stuff going on #very unlikely though lmao #i fucking love hyperfixating im suffering but having the time of my life thinking about it

[skitskatdacat63]

Boy King Seb :D

#thank you to Grace for the idea of making his chivarly collar red bull instead <33333 #he was gonna have both collars but then making that one made me suffer so no not today #this was a lot of fun but also made me suffer. but i keep looking at it and being like AAAHHHHH BABY!!! BABY BOY!!!!!!! #can you believe i tried to do this in one night? i cant #i stopped and came back to it and was like 'no way you could do this in one sitting at 1 am' #this is kinda the ascended form of that very first sketch i made for this au! concentrated boy king sebby!!! #i say to myself i need to take a break from drawing complicated things but youll prob see a nando version of this in less than a week ;;; #okay about the drawing(i wrote good tags and then tumblr deleted them so these are a bit inferior AGH): #this is typical pouty seb but is also referenced off a specific pic from AD 2009(beloved) #its very important to me how emotionally open Seb is. im not sure the specific context of this. maybe after a triumph? #but instead of being that typical stoic serious detached kind of ruler; i like him being openly emotional(think AD 2010) #its important as well for his dichotomy with nando and how they choose to portray themselves #seb is very assured in himself and his rule vs. nando who is more insecure and bitter about his #so nando takes strides to portray himself in that more stoic calculating way bcs he feels like it helps him legitimize himself better #whereas seb has absolutely no care for outward public image and shows how he feels and is loved for it(nando hates it but loves it) #not that nando cant be fun and whimsical!! but to me he always seems a bit more mysterious; like i can never tell his true thoughts tbh #anyways i feel like ill finish 10 more drawings before i end up posting the lore pt 2 LMAO #its just a lot harder to organize and layout compared to part 1 which was just an explanation #pt2 would be a mix of more world building/characterization/anecdotes ive talked about with mutuals(LOVE YOU GUYS!!!) #i have a *lot* of ideas (gotta whip out my notes app every once in a while to write down stuff abt it) just hard to put into a coherent pos #sebastian vettel #f1 #formula 1 #f1 art #formula 1 art #f1 fanart #formula 1 fanart #catie.art. #*ill prob make a process post later if anyone is curious!! its fun to write abt my process and influences and such #boy king au