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inlovewithquestionablecharacters · 1 year

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Matt Murdock X Reader: Safe and Sound

Summary: Matt loses his hearing and you come to the rescue.

Warning: None(i think) this is just fluff

Matt Murdock did not easily get despaired. Being a lawyer meant he needed to keep his mind in a state of constant stability in order to do his job the best he could. His night job also required a steady mind because any slip up could cause the loss of a life. Despite all of this Matt couldn't manage to calm himself when his hearing stopped working. He had already lost his sight years ago which meant the only thing he could rely on to survive was the rest of his senses, his hearing being one of the most important ones. So it's safe to say that when he stopped being able to hear the noise of Hellfire's kitchen and the clinking of glass crashing onto the floor he panicked. Out of a sudden Matt's world had gone completely dark. The silence suffocated him and no matter how loud he screamed he couldn't seem to make it stop.

He was all alone.

Alone and vulnerable.

You strolled down the streets a shopping bag in one hand and the keys to Matt's apartment grasped in the other. You walked up the stairs calmly, stopping to give Matt's neighbours a cheery good morning as you went. Completely unaware of what was happening to your favorite brunette. You’d made it to Matt's apartment without any issues, your hands fiddled with the keys as you tried to find the correct one to open the door. Then you heard the most blood curdling scream coming from inside the apartment. Your head snapped up at the sound, the hand holding the grocery bag instinctively releasing the item as you desperately tried to pry the door open. You knew about Matt's double life so you shouldn’t be worried about a scream. What made the hairs on your arms stand up was the fact that Matt was the one screaming.

Desperately screaming.

And if there was one thing you knew Matt Murdock never was was desperate.

You managed to get the door open, your shoes clanged loudly against the wood flooring as you raced into the living room. Your eyes searched the room quickly, trying to find some intruder or any sense of a break in but everything seemed to be in the right place, except for the pieces of glass that littered the floor near the kitchen. You moved towards the broken cup, kneeling down to get a better look at the contents. It is possible Matt had been poisoned? You were just about to reach out to grab a piece off the floor when another scream broke out through the silent room. Your eyes snapped to the place where the noise had come from, your gaze falling on Matt's frame. You rushed over to him, your hands reaching out to touch his body.

“Matt, what's wrong? Why are you-”

The moment your hand touched his arm Matt snapped into action, his hand wrapped around your throat with a strength you often forgot he had. Your own hands made their way to Matt's forearm trying with all your might to stop him from choking you.

“Matt…”

Your voice barely came out, not that it mattered anyway Matt couldnt hear you. You looked around, searching for something to get him to realize that he wasn't in danger. Your eyes fell onto Matt's other hand, the one that had remained at his side. You used your little amount of strength, the lack of air was making you lightheaded, to grab his other arm and drag his hand towards your face. For some reason Matt didn't resist, he let you guide his hand to your cheek. The moment his hand made contact with your features his eyes lit up in recognition. He immediately let go of your throat causing you to gasp for air. Your hands went to the floor, trying to steady yourself as you breathed in some much needed oxygen. Matt's hands went to try and grab onto you but you flinched away, the survival instinct still kicked into your system. And he felt it. Matt felt the way your muscles contracted away from him. He couldn't see or hear you but an image of your face formed inside his brain, your eyes wide with fear as you looked at him. Like he was some sort of rabid animal. In a way he believed he was.

You stared at the floor trying to get your bearings together. Matt called out your name, making you look at him. Your eyes found his brown ones, watching as his eyebrows furrowed with worry. He called out your name again a little louder this time and you realized that he couldn't hear anything at all. You crawled towards him. Matt felt the floorboards creak underneath him as you moved. Your hand went to his face but this time instead of snapping at you Matt closed his eyes, nuzzling into your palm. You felt Matt's tears on your palm as you caressed him.

“I’m sorry.”

He sounded so broken.

You moved your body in between his legs, your arms wrapping around his neck to pull him into your embrace. Matt nuzzled into your neck, the smell of your perfume invading his nose and making him feel safe. Your body was warm around him, a big contrast to the coolness of the wall behind him. He couldn’t hear but he wasn't scared anymore because he wasn't alone now. Now he had you and you would never let anything happen to him. Ever. Just like he would never let anyone hurt you.

You managed to guide Matt to the couch so that way he could be comfortable as you tried to figure out what to do about his hearing. You would have to take him to a doctor. That was the only thing you could think of. But how the hell were you supposed to guide him through the streets of new york without either of you getting put into risk. You reached into one of the kitchen drawers searching for the kettle you knew would be there. Tea would help you think and maybe it would calm Matt down enough to get him to sleep. Perhaps once he had gotten the rest he needed his hearing would come back to him.

Matts lay on the couch, his hands pulling at the blanket you’d placed on top of him. He wondered what you were doing. He knew you hadn’t left because he could still smell you. He wondered how he hadn't noticed the scent when you had walked in but then again he was in such a panicked state he hadn’t been paying enough attention to things. A new scent filled his nose. It was a slightly citric smell but not strong enough to be some kind of juice. Matt moved his head in the direction of the smell. Tea. You were making him orange tea. If it had been another time he would have laughed but it seemed silly to laugh given the circumstances.

A low melody entered Matt's ears. At first he thought he had imagined it but then he heard a clink of metal and the sound of shoes on the wood floor. You were humming as you walked around the kitchen and Matt could hear you.

He could hear you.

You were about to take the mugs filled with tea over to the couch when two arms grabbed you and turned you around. You looked up at Matt, your heart beating quickly. When had he gotten up from the couch? You hadn't even heard the floor creak behind you but then again that was kind of Matt's thing. Being quiet was a must when you fought bad guys in the night.

“Matt can you-”

“I’m so sorry. I would never hurt you on purpose.”

Matt pulled you into his chest, his body molding itself around your fame. You froze for a moment before wrapping your arms around his neck.

“It’s okay Matty. You were scared and you reacted. I know you’d never hurt me intentionally.”

Matt let out a small sob as he held you.

“Everything was dark. I couldn't… i didn't know what-”

“Shhh, It's alright you’re okay. I'm here now.”

Your hands wrapped themselves in Matt's hair as the two of you hugged.

“If you hadn’t done something… if i had…i’d never forgive myself.”

“Matthew, stop it. It was a mistake and I'm okay. You would have noticed. I know you would have.”

It was futile to argue with you. Matt knew you would never believe he could harm you. And that's what worried him because when his hands had been around your throat he wasn't thinking of anything else. He wondered if you were right, perhaps he would have noticed in time and stopped. But a small part of him thought that he only would know when it was too late. Tears welled in his eyes for the second time that day. His body slacked in your arms the emotions he’s held in for so long taking a toll on him. You sunk to the floor due to Matt's weight, one of your hands grabbing onto the counter for support. Once you two were sitting on the floor Matt buried his head into your chest, his strong arms gripping onto you for dear life. You felt Matt's tears soak through your shirt, causing some to well up in your own eyes. You hated seeing him this way but you were glad he trusted you enough to show this side of himself. You stayed like this for a while. Matt clinging onto you as he cried, you caressing him as he did so. Then Matt's head snapped up from its position, his face facing yours. One of his hands found their way to your cheek, his fingers tracing your features slowly. His thumb found your lips and he heard your heartbeat fasten slightly at the action. You had closed your eyes the moment he had placed his hand on your face, the thought of looking at him making you nervous. Matt called out your name. It came out as a whisper. So low that maybe if he hadn't been so close you wouldn’t have heard him.

“Yes?”

There was silence for a moment as Matt contemplated if this was a good moment. Every thought of doubt left his mind when he remembered the feeling that had invaded his chest when he realized you’d come to help him. The immediate peace that had consumed him when you pulled him into your body. Matt placed his hand underneath your chin, guiding you to look up at him. He could hear your heart berating, he could feel you breathe on his lip and he could smell your perfume, a scent he was sure he would never tire of.

“Matt?”

God he loved the way his name sounded on your lips.

“You alright?”

That's when he kissed you. Your hands tensed before reaching up to hold Matt's cheeks. He pulled you onto his lap, his arms wrapping around you once again. You wondered if this was all just a really realistic dream. It seemed almost impossible that after all these years you were in Matt's kitchen kissing him with everything you had. The years of bottled feelings had come to an end. Your heart felt as light as a feather and even though you didn't know it Matt had never felt happier. Matt placed his forehead against yours as he tried to catch his breath.

“I am now.”

You let out a laugh making him smirk.

“You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn't want to hurt you.”

“You could never hurt me Matt.”

“Yeah but my life isn't exactly safe. The people I love end up getting hurt. I didn't want to put a target on your back.”

“Hey, I think I should be the one who decides whether I want to be a target or not. Plus I'm in this. I have been in it since that day I stitched you up. So if anyone put a target on my back it was me. Not you.”

“You’re one tough cookie.”

“Yeah I know. It’s why you love me.”

Your eyes widened at your words realizing what you had said. You worried you had assumed too much, after all Matt had never officially said he loved you.

“You bet it is.”

With that Matt pulled you into another kiss. You melted into his body, feeling like the happiest person alive. The floor was cold and the position was starting to hurt Matt's back so you both got up. You went to look at the tea you had placed on the counter.

“Teas gone cold.”

“Leave it.”

You listened to Matt, letting him guide you to the couch. You watched as he climbed onto the sofa before opening his arms to you. You understood the message climbing onto the couch and laying on his chest. Matt's hands went to your hair, massaging your scalp tenderly. You let out a hum of approval as you snuggled more into his frame.

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For being here. For sticking around, even though it’s dangerous.”

“Well, we do all kinds of crazy things for people we love.”

Matt smiled at your words. Love had always been something he had wanted. At the same time he always feared for those he loved. However right now he couldn’t care less. You loved him, he loved you and neither of you would let anyone get in the way of that. Matt listened to the sound of your breathing as you began to fall asleep. For the first time in a long time the world around him seemed to go quiet. He drifted into sleep, your warmth luring him into peaceful slumber. For once Matt wasn’t plagued with nightmares instead his dreams were filled with images of you. He was safe. Completely safe because he had you and nothing was going to change that. Not if he had anything to say about it.

#matt murdock #matthew murdock #daredevil #daredevil fanfiction #matt #matt murdock x gender neutral reader #daredevil x you #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x you #matt murdock one shot #matt murdock fanfic #marvel fanfiction #charlie cox #mcu daredevil #charlie cox daredevil #charlie cox x reader

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luesmainblog · 7 months

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I don't have the brains to get screenshots, but the video essay in my head is going off, so some thoughts:

Elemental makes a pretty cool example of how a group can be disabled not because of their bodies being inherently Wrong somehow, but because their environment is actively hostile to them. and this adds into how there are different layers of marginalization depending on where you live.

the city is Designed for water people. because of how water folks work, it is generally Safe for air and tree people, and it isn't difficult to make some minor accommodations for their needs, but it's still consistently obvious that this city is FOR water people. They can move around it much, MUCH more freely than any of the other groups existing here.

Fire people, having needs and concerns significantly different than the other residents, are in active danger in this environment, as well as posing an accidental danger to other residents. There are obvious examples of this, like the way that the aquabus overflows its channel whenever it passes by and this causes a huge splash of water down onto the fire people's hometown, but there are also subtle examples of this.

one scene that stands out to me is the one plant man's office; absolutely OVERFLOWN with plantlife. an accommodation(?) for him which makes the area mildly annoying to get through for water people, and presumably air people, but becomes a minefield for any fire person needing to visit him in person…. which appears to be the standard procedure for withdrawing a paper sent his way. this is kind of hard to explain but disabled people can sometimes find themselves in environments where they "cause damage" because the area was NOT made with them in mind; a fire person is at a risk of lighting those plants on fire, and a person in a wheelchair is liable to knock into your shelves, for the exact same reason: they have no room to safely navigate. and this can make a really shitty situation where the disabled person is blamed for "not being careful" when the real issue is that the area should have been planned better to prevent that sort of incident.

there's also the family visit, which, JESUS there is a lot to examine there, but the two big ones: One, the casual bigotry displayed by the little kids. one of them asks "if you fall in the water, will you Die?" and then proceeds to wiggle the chair, intending to knock her into the water and find out. sadly, this is an (only slightly) exaggerated thing that real kids DO if they are not taught about disabilities and generally taught some god damn manners. a kid might pull on an oxygen chord, or push your wheelchair without asking, try to steal your cane, etc etc. this is an issue of social structure; there's certain things we're Expected to teach our kids and others that are treated as Extra, and disability often falls into Extra unless it's the specific one grandpa has.

the other is how the family gives,,, absolutely NO consideration to her needs in this house. wade and ember are left to quickly figure out how she can safely navigate a water house on their own, expected to follow right away. thankfully they're able to find something easily enough, but it's the mix of architecture and social awareness that puts her in danger just BEING in this house.

more in reblog

#elemental #elemental pixar #ramble #long post

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rhaenyras · 7 months

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I am a much-loved adopted child. Both my adoptive parents died when I was 10 years-old. I was told that my birth mother apparently loved me so much that she could not bear to touch me or hold me before giving me away. How could that be an expression of love? I understand her choice intellectually but it’s hard to face up to the anger I feel. So now I think I’ve turned all of that anger on to myself.

I can’t tolerate intimacy, and I think that may have been caused by that choice at my birth. I have thought for a while that it is the equivalent of having been deprived of oxygen – the damage is permanent. I have been unable to sustain intimate relationships and it seems as though the more I love someone the more intolerable for them my love becomes. More than one person has ultimately told me that I’m too needy. The terrible irony is that this only happens after I’ve finally relaxed my defences enough to allow myself to love them.

I had a couple of relationships where I was distant, but then I fell deeply in love with a wonderful but broken and depressed man who killed himself.

As much as I now understand the trauma of my history, I feel that it is so integral to me that I will never be able to heal. I try to think of it as something I will have to live with, but how can I move forward if I have to constantly protect anyone else I fall for from my damage?

I have had so much therapy over my lifetime and read so much, I have tried to be compassionate with myself and empathic to others but what I really want is to love someone unselfconsciously, without restraint or fear that they will discard me when it gets too much. How can I achieve this?

my mother was also given away at birth and subsequently adopted. my biological grandmother conceived her with a man who was already married to another woman and the "shame" of a child being born out of wedlock was too great to bear in this small town from south italy in 1967, so my biological maternal great-grandfather forced his own daughter to hide the pregnancy for 9 months and then eventually to give the child away in secret. my mother found out about all this in the most tragic and traumatic of ways (she was made fun of by my adoptive grandmother's nephews, nieces and other jealous blood relatives of my adoptive grandmother's) and I'd lie if i said that this event in her youth didn't play some minor role in the insurgence of my mother's bipolar disorder later in life. I'm telling you all of this because it's true, as a matter of fact the weight of our ill-fated history and family trauma stays with us well beyond childhood. the traces and leftovers stay with us maybe forever. so yeah, it's not your fault that you only know how to love so hard that "they call the cops on you", like lorde said. I'm the same. my sister is the same. my mother is the same. we're a long lineage of intense women whose love is stifling and heavy to bear, like a curse. there are people who will feel blessed by it, though. i can assure there are people out there who can and will match your energy. the tricky part is to find one. until then, if you wanna put the brake on your overwhelming feelings, I'd suggest dating multiple people at the same time. i know the poly community will stone me for this, but for me seeing more partners at once has always worked as a way to detach myself from heartbreak and awfully intense feelings. it's a way to cope, so to speak. as long as everyone knows about the other(s), it's not cheating and it will keep your heart protected because you're gonna be unable to focus all your powerful immense love on just one person. and who knows, this might even increase your odds of actually finding the person who wants you all to themselves and won't be scared away by the real entity of your undivided attention. you never know what the future brings. good luck with that, dearie 🙏🏻👌🏻💫

#ask #anon #anonymous #also this is the origin story of why i can't stand alicent and the greens for hating so much on 'bastards' and 'fornicating out of wedlock'#now y'all know the real reason lol

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agnessmadness · 5 months

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Full Name : Askin Nakk Le Vaar Race : Quincy Ethnicity : ??? Age : 1000+ Height : 187cm/6'2 Birthday : June 6th Epithet : D the Deathdealing

BACKSTORY (TEMPORARY AND NOT CANON)

Askin comes from a noble family. his parents were.. pretty bad to say the least- didn't exactly cared much about him and he grew up to be neglected which also taught him to become someone that are careless and you can say, heartless, almost. Askin was born an only-child so after his parents died down he inherit the estate into his own. he was in his twenties when Yhwach came to the region to conquer and expand the Licthreich and he was supposed to die in the destruction of his homeland but no one seemed to be able to kill him. it was noticed by Yhwach and he asked for him to join the army which he immediately accepts due to being between life and death.. and also that Yhwach's offer of seeing this new world was interesting to him. something new after living so long in this boring gigantic place? count him in.

Askin was bestowed witha schrift and made into a sternritter almost right away, perhaps Yhwach sees some importance to him which made sense. he fought in the first war against the Shinigami and lost and stayed in the Silbern along with his comrades as he- surprisingly enough survived and joined back within the newly founded wandenreich.

PERSONALITIES

an expressive person whos emotions shows through his face. a highly analyzing man who will try to analyzes everything to find the deep root of the problem to rid of it just so he could find a way to rid off the feelings of fear. fights for the sake of boredom and the wants to find someone stronger and better than him just so he can defeat them and get his self approval that he's more than what he wanted to be. most of the time straightforward. a delicate man with delicate hands made to kill off opponents in an elegant way. untreated and unaware autism.

STATISTIC

Strength: ☠ ☠

Stamina: ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠

Durability: ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠

Intelligence: ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠

Magic: ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠

DO NOT EXPECT YOUR MUSES OTHER THAN KISUKE TO OVERPOWER ASKIN IN TERMS OF INTELLIGENT.

ABILITIES (SOME INFORMATION ARE FROM THE WIKI)

The Deathdealing (致死量 (ザ・デスディーリング), Za Desudīringu; Japanese for "Lethal Dose"): Askin's Schrift allows him to calculate the "perfect lethal dose" (完全致死量, kanzen chishiryō)—the amount that will cause death without fail—of any substance he takes into his body (primarily by ingestion) and then raise or lower that value as he sees fit, inducing a lethal dosage of that substance in those around them. In order to facilitate the lethal dose, he needs to consume a great amount of whatever it is he wants to manipulate into his body. For example by consuming blood, he can decrease the lethal dosage of the blood in his opponent's body, thus making it fatal to them

Healing: Raising his own lethal dosage to an attack also grants Askin a healing factor, which allowed him to recover from the severe burns inflicted on him by Yūshirō Shihōin in seconds

Immunity: He develops an immunity to whatever substance or energy-based attack he is attacked with. His immunity acquisition speed is incredibly fast. Upon receiving an attack, he reflexively analyzes their Reiatsu and begins to create his immunity at a terrifying speed. As long as he has one minute he can render virtually any attack ineffective

Gift Ball (ギフト・バル／毒入りボール (ギフト・バル), Gifuto Baru; German and Japanese for "Poison Ball"): Askin throws a small, slow or fast paced moving ball of poison at his enemy. He can put multiple different substances in the ball, such as nitrogen, oxygen, and Reishi

Gift Bad (毒入りプール (ギフト・バート), Gifuto Bāto; German for "Poison Bath", Japanese for "Poison Pool"): Askin creates a darkened area of influence the size of a large circle on the ground; if anyone steps within its radius, Askin can lower their resistance to anything, such as Reishi, causing them to become "poisoned" by high amounts of that substance, he could also extend out his circle of poison if he see fits. his gift bad cannot be seen when you're outside of the area, you will only survive from gift bad when you're a flying or are above the floor that isn't touching gift bad area itself

VOLLSTANDIG

Hasshein (神の毒見 (ハスハイン), Hasuhain; Japanese for "God's Poison Taster"; Viz"God's Taster"): When Askin activates his Quincy: Vollständig, he gains light purple wings composed of circles connected by beams of Reishi shaped like molecular sequences. The same material surrounds his waist as a belt, and he wears a transparent orange visor covering his eyes and eyebrows, one bracelet on his right wrist, and three bracelets on his left wrist. Three circles hovering over his right forearm, five circles hovering over his left arm, and nine circles over his lower chest in an upside down arrow position, with the tenth covering his own bellybutton and his light purple Heiligenschein takes the shape of the Quincy Zeichen with five circles at each point of the star

The Deathdealing (Enhanced): Hasshein automatically adapts to changes in "poison"; as long as the base of the poison remains the same, any surface layer changes will cause Askin's immunity to adjust in turn, rendering the poison ineffective. This prevents him from being harmed by opponents who undergo rapid changes in the nature of their Reiatsu

Gift Ball Deluxe (極上毒入りボール (ギフト・バル・デラックス), Gifuto Baru Derakkusu; German for "Poison Ball Deluxe", Japanese for "First-Rate Poison Ball"): Askin creates an enormous version of Gift Ball centered around his body. Its power magnifies greatly upon Askin's death

Gift Bereich (猛毒の領域 (ギフト・ベライヒ), Gifuto Beraihi; German for "Poison Realm", Japanese for "Deadly Poison Domain"): Askin creates dozens of interconnected spheres of light to form a large, spherical barrier, which he claims cannot be escaped from

Gift Ring (猛毒の指輪 (ギフト・リング), Gifuto Ringu; German for "Poison Ring", Japanese for "Deadly Poison Ring"): Askin enlarges the bracelet on his arm and throws it at an opponent, where it shrinks in size before making contact with a particular region of their body, at which point it forces all the potency of The Deathdealing into this focal point, causing an "instant death" of that region of the body

Reishi Staff: When forced to fight at close quarters, Askin can generate a long staff composed of spheres connected by rods with which to combat swordsmen

DO NOT EXPECT ASKIN TO PULL OUT HIS VOLLSTANDIG FORM RECKLESSLY AT YOUR MUSES.

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supersumc · 9 months

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"Your power is meant to save people" - Mr. Legend

Yeah, yeah, but how? If I, say, can turn into a bassarisk, how does that save people? I'd be more fit for robbing people, wouldn't I? But see, there's these things called earthquakes, explosions, and other rubble-causing incidents, and that's when I can help. By becoming something so small and light and able to shimmy through cracks in the earth and work in low light, I could help reach people that are trapped and bring them food and water until rescue workers or other heroes can reach them, or even bring something like an airline oxygen mask to them if they're in a poorly-ventilated space. (Yeah, those things are genius. There's no oxygen tanks on the plane above them. Fun fact.)

That quote from Mr. Legend - fallen hero though he is, in more ways than one - has gotten me thinking at times about how the villains' and other NEXT's powers could save people. Spoilers ahead, and this is based on my limited knowledge of only having watched the anime, read the manga, and owning a manga version of the first film. So...yeah. If there's any new villains in the other films, like there was in the first, feel free to mention them if you're a bigger T&B weeb than me in a reblog. Just be warned that you'll be spoiling them for me.

Tony: Explained in the manga. Being able to move the biggest things is amazing, and helped keep an ice rink from toppling over. Definitely going to be a Crusher For Justice when he grows up, though. Some destruction just can't be avoided, I'm afraid.

Robin Baxter: Switching places with people can definitely help save people who think their lives aren't worth it. A few swaps and you could negate all g-force-inflicted damage. Either that or a suit that can absorb it so that you only have to do the one.

Pauly: Turning yourself into diamond? Just stay out of fires and you could be a good human shield without getting too hurt.

Lunatic: Essentially could work in a duo with Fire Emblem, if he weren't a judge who just so happened to kill his father Mr. Legend when his powers manifested.

The HERO Academy students: Explained and seen in action in the manga, and it's my headcanon they became the Second League.

Edward: Seen in action in the manga when he and Origami went underground to survive an explosion.

The Mayor's Son: When he grows up, whatever telekinetics do best!

Lies, Danger, and Money/Powers: Bodyguards. Definitely bodyguards.

Kriem: Being able to control things you put your hair into, with the ability to use range extenders, can definitely help keep people off the battlefield. A power for war, perhaps, but saving lives nonetheless.

Jake Martinez: Being able to read minds and deflect things with force fields would have made him more than capable of defusing shooter situations. It's unfortunate that he had such a God Complex (and desecrated an image of the Blessed Mother in the manga) when dealing with other people...er, "insects." His childhood friend from the manga also had the mind-reading power, but of people he touched, and had a second power that we never got to see because of the fact that Jake killed him, though whether it was by accident is debatable. His abusive father also didn't help. Great potential that went completely to waste.

That NEXT who could change the color of his skin: Solving racism.

The kid who could repair things within five minutes of being broken: Natural medic as we saw in the manga. (Also, what's with time-influenced powers and five minutes?)

The Next who could turn invisible: Perfect stealth, as long as he holds his breath and there's no infrared cameras.

The NEXT Kaede copied who could turn magnetic: Climb a metal surface and help people down, or steal a shooter's gun from him.

Mr. Maverick: He could definitely help trauma victims.

If there's any I missed from these sources, please let me know!

#tiger and bunny #theory #thanks for coming to my ted talk #jake martinez #kriem #tony #edward #pauly #lunatic #albert maverick #robin baxter #spoilers #solving racism is an amazing power #i like bassarisks okay?#i want to be one

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lemistired · 2 years

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Essay--Tw//Smoking, alcoholism, self destructive speech.

I’m trying to get back into writing cause it’s a healthier mechanism than others I’ve got, and right now I'm kinda struggling with addiction, so I wrote about some coping habits I have. I might start posting art on here, who knows, no one really follows me here anyways so I have freedom.

Drowning, it’s a painful thing, yet daily you find people subjecting themselves to variants of it.

Drowning in music, books, alcohol, cigarettes; these are my vices.

Music so loud nothing can get in. A guitar plays distantly as rain hits my face, I think that’s meant to be grounding, yet it takes me so far away.

Mindless words go in one ear out the next, a drum crashes through any thought, a guitar riff pulling you in. Anxieties wash away as people don’t exist anymore. Background noise can’t overwhelm you as you are now the only noise, worlds will shatter over the music pounding in your head.

Books any size, the weight being so grounding it pulls you down to earth, yet when you start reading, you’re in a new world. I don’t like fantasy or sci-fi books; I like the old books you’d never read unless you were 30 and questioning life. Fyodor Dostoevsky, Osamu Dazai, J.D. Salinger, Edgar Allan Poe, Hemmingway; They all construct their works in a world that’s so overwhelmingly real and human that it makes you feel at home even though you’re a century away from that world. Worlds form around you, worlds of crime, hospitals, heartbreak.

Happy books have never been my thing, they’re too positive for the world that exists right now, often the old books feel like a grounding chain to this world that constantly moves backwards. You read the little moments shared between the mother down the road and her son who’s coming home from a work trip. A couple getting into dancing classes together to distract them from their financial trouble. A man falling victim to his own mind. A group of kids trying to survive despite their diseases in which could take their lives without warning.

Alcohol, sweet, strong, burning trails down your throat, a warmth settles in your chest, setting flames to your head.

I don’t drink and forget, I seem to remember more drunk. Overwhelming emotion roles over. You say things you don’t need to think about because in that moment you don’t have the capacity to lie. My friends worry, my family worries, but it’s almost refreshing to be able to cry. Meeting with my friends, drinking a bit, going home, drinking a little more, and then being able to let everything from the past week go. In these moments, I realise how human I can be. I don’t have to go around the street acting like I have it together because when I am drunk, I am my most vulnerable.

I don’t open up to people, so when I walk through the city with my heart in my hands, it’s best I stay supervised. A heart growing bigger than I thought I could have. All day it thunders in my rib cage, trying to break out. A storm growing constantly that very few get to hear, and sometimes, if you’re lucky, you see lightning flashes of empathy, joy, grief. When it finally breaks free of it’s prison of blood and bone, it’s exhausted.

Finally, smoking. My lungs are already faulty, I live off inhalers that don’t help, I take little breaths of recovery, my chest trying to squeeze itself shut. I laugh a little too hard, I raise my voice a fraction, I have food a little too spicy, I move a little too fast- This is all it takes for me to be on my knees begging to breathe again. When I started burning my lungs, it just felt the same.

Fresh air replaced by smoky clouds, the machine in my chest steadily inhaling, exhaling. A rhythm I don’t dare break. Tight-roping a fine line between the fresh feel of oxygen and the suffocating high of nicotine and tobacco.

People will always be self-destructive, it’s an addiction, once you do it once, you need more, new ways, maybe it starts with isolating yourself behind a sea of ink and paper, the next thing you know it’s all burning, ashes coating your clothes, hands, anything the flame touches. It’s always been so beautiful watching everything you work for crash and burn.

━ S

#personal essay #essay #literature

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thetreecut · 2 years

Text

Ten Tips to Keep Trees Well - The Tree Cut

Trees are among the most valuable and most productive elements in our landscaping. They shade our houses and our neighborhoods which reduces the energy bills. They boost property value as well as reduce air pollution and erosion of soil, and provide an environment for animals. In addition, they provide a beautiful and tranquility they bring to our daily lives. They are an enchanted, peaceful element of our surroundings it's difficult to remember that the trees need our attention in order to flourish. The proper tree maintenance is vital for their continual growth and their well-being. To help you keep this in mind here are 10 ways to ensure your trees are well-maintained:

1. Make sure you plant the right tree. This is the very first step, and most crucial steps to making sure you'll get years of enjoyment from your tree. Select a species perfectly adapted for our North Carolina climate and the particular conditions of soil light, space and light at the location of the planting. For more information about the most suitable trees suitable for this area go to this page. North Carolina State Cooperative Extension tree page.

2. Get stakes removed early. The tree that allows itself to move in the wind grows an even stronger trunk. If the tree isn't able to stand on its own, it should be used two stakes (one on each one side of the ball) with a flexible, loose tie between them to hold the tree's trunk. Get rid of the stakes at the point that the tree is able to stand on its own and hopefully within one year.

3. Make sure that grass is kept away. The grass that grows towards the trunk is competing against the trees for water, air, and nutrients (and generally wins). The youngest trees, in particular tend to develop poorly in the event that grass grows to their trunks. For the best results, ensure a mulched and grass-free area around the trunk.

4. It is essential to water your plants correctly. Young trees need frequent irrigation, however even mature trees must be watered in times of drought. Make sure to water thoroughly, saturating all the root zones (2-3 inches deep in mature trees) until just outside the dripline (an imaginary line that runs from outside the tree canopy all the way to the soil's surface). Allow the soil to become partially dry prior to watering again. Don't trust lawn sprinklers doing their job. They don't always get wet enough, and could result in trees with shallow roots. Soil basins and drip irrigation are better choices.

5. Fertilize as needed. Do not assume that trees should be fed on a regular basis. Young trees might require periodic fertilization to establish however mature trees usually don't require any feeding in any way. Only feed trees if they aren't growing properly or have a yellowing or sagging foliage. A soil test can determine precisely what nutrients are required.

6. Mulch. Apply 3 inches of mulch made from organic material, like compost or pine straw beneath the trees' canopy. Mulch cools soil, helps retain moisture enhances soil texture, and decreases the number of the growth of weeds. It is recommended to replenish it regularly.

7. Prune carefully. Pruning improves the strength and structure of your trees. It also makes cutting cuts that are thin (removing entire branches at their source) instead of cutting headings (cutting across the length of the branch or even a hat rack). For trees with large branches, you should consult an arborist certified by a certification agency or a tree cutting services.

8. Make sure the roots are protected. Vehicles and heavy equipment shouldn't be permitted to drive on the tree's root zones. They cause soil to shrink, decreasing oxygen levels, and may destroy roots. Don't remove or plant soil under trees without consulting with an arborist who is certified. Altering the grade can also damage tree roots and weaken them in many cases, killing the trees as well as making them prone to damage from storms.

9. Take care to protect the trunk. The impact of lawn mowers or whipping trunks with weed eaters damages the trunk and bark which weakens the tree's structure as well as attracting pests and disease. Young trees are especially vulnerable, but they can be shielded by using plastic wraps that are available in nurseries and garden centers. Better yet, keep the tree in a 2 to 3 foot wide ring of mulched grass about the trees.

10. Control insects. Pests of insects such as Japanese beetles, adelgids, and caterpillars can severely damage and weaken the trees. For more information on tree maintenance, please visit The Tree Cut website.

#tree pruning service #lawn care solutions #tree trimming and pruning services #tree trimming service #trim bushes #lawn care specialists #tree maintenance #tree pruning and trimming

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rcksmith · 3 years

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Be mine — Roman Godfrey

Requests: “Helloo, I would like to request an imagine of roman Godfrey with smut prompt 28”

“Hii, omg I lover your work!! Can you do fluff prompts 45 and 59 and smut prompts 32 whit Roman Godfrey? Thank you, love💖”

Fluff prompts:

45. “where have you been all my life?”

59. “Are you flirting with me?” “You finally noticed?”

Smut prompts:

28. “Such a needy little thing, aren’t you?”

32. “I’m going to show you what a real fucking is.”

A/N: I was excited about these request for Roman, I loved it. I hope you guys like.

English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.

Requests are open. Love you ❤️

Couple: Roman Godfrey/ Fem! Reader.

Warnings: Swearing, explicit smut, NSFW, degradation, dirty talk and also fluff too.

— — — — —

The big white and airy room tried to show a soothing and safe energy, the light tones contrasted with the golden rays of the sun outside and could even try to show a lyrical vibe. Could, if not for everything else.

It was hard to pinpoint the source that messed up that whole idea of peace that the colors on the walls had, but maybe it was because Godfrey Industries was... oblique, mysterious, sinister. There was something in the air, a dark breeze that echoed all the floors of that gigantic building, bringing the feeling that something was out of place. It was, at times, disconcerting. Like looking at a perfect painting but knowing that something is out of place. Or to witness the seconds of frightening calm before a major disaster. But as the months went by, you had to get used to it and adapt to it. Your daydreams wandered far away. You wondered what you were doing there, in that country town that also had that sinister energy.

Why you left Los Angles? Okay, did you know why. After finishing college, you sent out resumes to as many companies as you could. Its from that time when you realize that adult life has knocked on the door and that the cost of living in California was too high. The plan, when you left home to pursue your dream and go to college in another state, was to get a job as soon as possible. But some things got out of your control, and when you realized it, you had graduated and you didn't have enough money to come up with second plans.

So, when the multinational Godfrey Industries called you after an interview and gave you the job, you didn't hesitate. The salary was too good for a international negotiations assistant, and after a while you could breathe easier, and be able to straighten out your financial life and have a better resume to be able to get back to a big city.

It was a good plan, a rational plan. You were proud of that. But it was logical that too much confidence was accompanied by some ruin.

And its ruin came under the name of Roman Godfrey.

Roman was swallowed all the air in any the room when he entered, as if its imposing presence subdued any environment. Everything about him exuded the same objective: to conquer, to possess, to win. He was the Trojan army. But the worst and the most dangerous was not his difficult personality, but how you felt close to him. How his presence caused side effects on you.

He was absolutely gorgeous. It should be considered illegal for someone to have that appearance, that voice, that sinisterly penetrating look. You felt that Roman Godfrey had the aura of intense and exciting music, like the song of danger.

He was the personification of sin, and you were being tested by the universe.

The trinity of what could be a gigantic disaster was completed when, a few months ago, Roman started testing you, joining the universe in what appeared to be a plan to slaughter your sanity.

It was your first meeting with the Company a few weeks after you was hired. Adam, the director of the international negotiations sector, for whom you are an assistant, asked you to bring all the documents of the process and remain in the meeting. It was about an international multi who wanted to buy some equipment from Godfrey Industries, but who were working hard to try to close deals at a lower price.

As you handed a copy of the negotiation to each sector director in that room, you felt a pair of eyes burning the back of your neck the whole time, like your shadow. The caustic sensation ruffled all the hair on the back of your neck, snaking from head to toe and made you search the environment behind the author.

That's when you finding him.

Roman had the green irises stuck to you like a tattoo on your skin. As if unraveling all your secrets, your sins, virtues and all your thoughts. It was intense, magnetic... dangerous.

You felt the white walls of that room were embraced by a black and dark shadow, and the air became thin. Then he smiled. A smug and arrogant little smile. The kind who won a battle.

It had been the beginning of a sequence of events. Roman began to request and make sure that you were present at all meetings, negotiations, cases, even when your presence added much more to your professional knowledge than to contribute to the resolution of company problems. At that time the order was still not directed at you, Adam just told you that Godfrey wanted you at meetings.

It was strange, atypical, almost surreal. You used to go into the conference room and look directly at Roman, frowning in silent questioning at him. But he never gave you an answer. He just gave that smug smile and turned his attention to the big screen in the living room.

This happened five times before Roman sent to tell you that he wanted to see you in his office.

“But why?!" You frowned at Adam.

The man looked at you for a second before shrugging.

“Your work has been impeccable, I think he just wants to give you more things to do.” Adam kept his eyes on the documents themselves.

"But you are my boss.” Sometimes you had a habit of saying what you thought without considering the consequences.

Your mother and your friends said that you had a total inability to hide what you felt, to be someone reserved or shy. You were almost always the person who said everything you felt.

Adam laughed softly, already used to your personality and turned his eyes to you.

“And he is my boss."

You restrained yourself from rolling your eyes. The truth was, you didn't want to find him. Roman puzzled you, messed with your system. And after those 5 meetings without explaining why you were there, you started to want to avoid his presence.

But apparently the universe was not on your side this time.

You got up and excused yourself, listening to your own heels echoing down the hall before entering the elevator and pressing the last button. Going to Godfrey's office.

Anxiety coursed through your veins like overwhelming electricity, making you sway on your heels and stir your fingers.

What did he want with you? Had you done something? Was he crazy?

You sucked in the air hard, shrugging your shoulders to relax when the door opened up. You walked for a while before stopping at Roman's office and knocking on the door with your finger.

“Come in." The voice made your heart skip a few beats.

You walked in, closing the door behind you and laying your eyes on the tall, slender figure who was sitting behind the table, dressed in black pieces and a small smile.

“Did you want to see me, Mr.Godfrey ?"

Maybe it was your imagination or your nervousness that was seeing things in between lines, but you could have sworn that Roman breathed harder after you said his last name.

You stopped in front of his desk, too agitated to sit on the chair.

“Yes, Darling.” He stood up, getting much bigger than you, even though your feet were in a 10 cm heel.

Roman fished a file on the table itself, bypassing the table and coming menacingly close to you. He stood in front of you again, his hip against the table and leaning there, holding out the file for you. You took seconds longer than you would like to pick up the papers, Roman's left leg was dangerously close to yours, the knee almost brushing your thigh covered by the black skirt.

“I need it ready by night."

That's when you came out of the trance, picking up the folder and staring at the amount of stuff there. It was a process about an agreement with a company in Asia, and it was so bureaucratic that it would take up your entire time. And you already had a million things for do.

“But...” You were about to start talking, but Roman moved away from the edge of the table, his chest hovering over yours.

You have never felt so small, so fragile and so vulnerable in your life. You had to lift your chin to face him straight.

“You are going to be a good girl and bring me this tonight.” It was not a request. “You will, right?”

Your common sense or decorum had gone somewhere. Maybe was lost in your own stupidity. The oxygen evaporated from your lungs. And before you could think of something diplomatic and good to say. Because you were not dumb. You heard yourself say:

“Yes, Mr. Godfrey.”

Fucking hell!

“Great.” He gave you a rewarding smile.

From that moment on events like this became routine. In fact, you tried to mask that you liked it, that it wasn't extremely unprofessional, that he was not only your boss, but also the owner of the entire company. Over time you learned to deal with him too, Roman was never brazen or touched you, he would drop some ‘Dear’ or ‘Pretty’ over and over here for you, but, truth be told, you didn’t get uncomfortable.

Perhaps it was your feminine vanity. You didn't want to be selfish, but having a man like Roman Godfrey praise you did wonders for your feminine vanity. You felt absurdly beautiful. He made you feel like the personification of the Female Fatal, and you liked that. So you would roll your eyes at him and give him some jokes smiles in his direction whenever these things happened.

You did not deny it, but you also do not return any praise.

Over the months you had practically become more of an assistant to Roman than to Adam. He kept you getting bogged down with things to do and telling Adam to pass on your old duties to any other goddamn person.

“They accept to close if they have had 30% of the profits.” You put your cell phone down to talk to Roman, who had his hip against the desk work and an open file in his hands.

“They must be stupid” he rolled his eyes “10% and I will still be being generous.”

You went back to your call, your eyes fixed on the top view of the city as you settled the deal.

“I can get them to close by 15% if we send the equipment by tomorrow.” You said to Roman again, plugging the cell phone microphone with your other hand “But it has to be send until the morning. Not next.”

Roman smiled broadly and satisfied, nodding his head in ‘Yes’ as you turned your attention to the city view and finished the negotiation. You were getting the details right when you felt a presence behind you, the heat radiating for your back and making you lose your breath for a second. You swallowed and tried to ignore something vibrating in your core, disconnecting the call as soon as you closed the deal.

“What would I do without you?” Roman's voice blew at the top of your ear, his ghostly touch fanning your skin.

You laughed to try to hide how much your core pulsed, turning around enough to face his completely.

"I don't know, you would have already lost four contracts.” You tried to joke, but he was absurdly close.

The scent of a man and an expensive cologne swallowed you like a wave and dragged you into the sea, drowning you. The emerald green eyes were fixed on you, as if they swallowed you.

“You could work for me.” Godfrey let go, taking another step closer to you.

Instinctively, you took a step back, your back finding the cold glass behind you and trapping you between the cold sensation and the absurd warmth of the man.

"I already work for you.” You said it as if it were obvious, letting out a nervous laugh and trying to clean up how much your uterus vibrated now.

“No, you work more with Adam.” He rolled his eyes, his hand now resting on your hip, rising to your waist like a snake “I speak of you being my assistant, being here when I arrive, spending the all days with me.”

Your heart screamed, your pussy throbbed so hard that if Roman hadn't paid attention to you, you would have bitten your lip.

“Are you flirting with me?”

"You finally noticed?"

There was no way to deny to yourself that you had already reached your share of perverted dreams with Roman Godfrey. He was like an addiction! It was unbearable how present he was always in your head, playing with your sanity, making you think of how those absurdly long fingers would fuck you so well, how those impeccable clothes hid a maddening body.

And that was exactly why you couldn't be him assistant.

If it was already overwhelmingly difficult to occasionally remain in him presence without diverting your thoughts, every day would be impossible. All the time. You would end up having to resign your job after, because any involvement between you would not result in a happy ending. Aside from being extremely unethical, it would end up destroying your heart, and God, you needed the job!

"M-Mr Godfrey." You tried to speak, touching his chest with the palm of your hand with the intention of gently pushing him away.

But the shot backfired. He was cold. Absurdly cold. Cold that makes you want to warm up, an addictive, that intoxicates you. Suddenly, you are already wondering if other parts of it would be cold too.

Would the kiss contain the beauty and temperature of the snow? When Roman entered you, would he be consumed by the heat of your needy walls? He Would it stick to you like a private sun?

“Pretty.” Godfrey sighed against your cheek, dangerously lowering his lips in your direction. “Why not stay with me? Where can I fuck you every day? ”

This time you moaned, a low moan that gave up all of your game. It lit a dangerous, vital fire in Roman's eyes, and him hand, which once touched you softly, now snaked into your waist, pulling you close.

“Do you like to hear that? That I want to fuck you until you scream?” You closed your fingers on him black dress shirt, closing your lip between your teeth to contain a groan.

Roman's mouth went to your neck, pouring wet, surprisingly hot kisses onto your skin.

"Would you like to know that I have imagined fucking you hard for a long time?” His hands went to the hem of your skirt. “That I want to tag you with my cum until you're just mine?"

“Mr.Go-Godfrey!” You moaned loudly, wrapping your arms around his neck and letting your head go back and lean against the glass wall.

“Tell me, Pretty.” He lifted his lips to hover over yours “Tell me you want this as much as I do.”

You frantically ascended your head, letting a 'Yes' leave with a low sob.

Thereafter Roman wasted no time. He pulled you onto his lap by your thighs, placing you under his desk and throwing all objects on the table with one arm. He kissed you. Furiously. He kissed you as if you were his property, as if you were the answer to all his prayers, his divinity. Your mouth opened to get air and Roman took the opportunity to invade with his tongue, hunting you.

You groaned, or he, or both.

"I'm going to show you what a real fucking is." Roman snarled against your mouth, not considering any consequences before popping all the buttons on your shirt with a two-handed tug, making you gasp.

That seemed to bring you back to Earth.

You pulled your chest away from him, and Roman looked up at you with a questioning expression.

“Ro-Roman, this is wrong.” you said.

“You have no idea how much I don’t give a fuck.” He leaned over to kiss you again, extremely excited by the sight of you in a lacy bra, but you averted your face by placing your hands on him chest.

You said. “I'm going to have to resign this job later if I do it, and I need the job.”

Romam snorted, straightening up again.

“Who says you need to resign? Did you forget that I am the owner of this crap?” He brought his lips to your neck once more, and you sighed softly “Be mine. Be mine."

“I don’t know.”

Romam held your face in his hands, in a gentle touch, which clashed absurdly with the lush fire in his eyes.

“I don't want to fuck you because you work here, but because I think you're fucking beautiful.” He said “Be mine, and if you don't want anything to do with me afterwards, that's okay, let's keep working normally.” Roman moved closer, his voice hitting your mouth “Let me fuck this hot pussy, I'm sure you'll want more later. And I will give you everything you want.”

So you gave in. You kissed him fiercely, spreading your legs wider and settling them between them, letting the skirt roll to pile on your hips and exposing lace panties. Roman reaching down to your back and removing your bra, dropping your mouth over your left breast when it was exposed.

You moaned loudly, throwing your head back, curling your fingers in his hair and sighing when Godfrey moved his fingers down the middle of your legs. You whimpered, rummaging around in his hand for some friction, needy and needy.

Roman laughed arrogantly against your breast: “Such a needy little thing, aren't you?” He took a bite out of your left beak as he walked away to remove his belt.

You groaned, your eyes on fire, your body hot and needy. And that's when Roman looked at you. A hot fucking woman half naked at his table, so beautiful and perfect that it was almost a sin. He wanted to be able to record that scene forever. You were perfect. He thought you were extraordinarily perfect.

Then he rushed ferociously at you again, his hands wrapped around your hot body as he moaned on your lips: "Where have you been all my life?"

You gasped, finishing the job of his belt and pants, fighting a battle with his tongue.

“Waiting for this moment.” You provoked it with a sensual chuckle, nibbling on his lower lip.

Roman shared your sly smile, tearing at your panties and holding his own dick in your direction. You moaned louder this time, in need, lowering your hands to his hips and rolling around his waist, trying to get closer.

Roman laughed, sinking his mouth into yours and also plunging his dick into yours smooth folds.

You screamed out loud, clasping your body to his while Roman put an arm around your waist, gluing your body to his and hitting the stick at the end of the well, drawing out a loud groan from both of you. The environment was filled with moaning and pornographic sounds, the table rattling beneath you as the things that were left on top now fell completely. You wrapped your arms around his neck, clenching your nails at the back of your neck as you wrapped your legs around Roman's hips, pulling him further into you and swallowing him completely.

“Holy fuck!” He snarled, lowering his mouth to meet your neck and shoulder, closing his teeth there as he demanded more force in his movements.

Godfrey beat without mercy, without pause, conquering and proclaiming his every piece of your body as his own. You could no longer control your moans, all the sensations exploded inside you like nuclear bombs and pleasure and pain curved all your lines of reasoning. You laid your back on the table, your breasts jumping with the speed and strength of him movements, while Roman clasped his hands on your waist and set a brighter pace as he pulled you onto his dick and propelled your hips at you.

“So fuck hot slut!” He growled, never stopping the pace.

You shouted something that looked like him name, and threw your head back when the orgasm invaded your system, shaking your legs and pulling him deeper. Roman moaned loudly, squeezing your flesh so tightly that it would leave marks tomorrow, while he cum inside you, spilling all the hot liquid on your barriers.

You were sweaty and panting, but Roman didn't give you a second to breathe and process the situation until he leaned over to you, still inside your core, and kissed your right breast, dropping one:

“Dinner at my place tomorrow?”

You laughed, still very airy, and agreed, overcome by tiredness.

“Okay, Godfrey.” Roman gave you another lunge of teasing, making your laugh mix with a groan.

#roman godfrey #roman godfrey x reader #Roman Godfrey x you #bill skarsgard #bill skarsgård x reader #Roman Godfrey x y/n #hemlock grove #Hemlock Grove x reader #bill skarsgård imagine #roman godfrey imagine #Roman Godfrey icons #smut #Hemlock Grove smut #willard russell

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under-the-cherrytree · 3 years

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Hi there cherry… I understand if this request is a sensitive topic so if you want,you can completely disregard it! No pressure! Could you write a tsukasa,hanako and mitsuba(all dead) catching their s/o making an attempt of taking their own life after school? Thank you and once again.. you don’t have to do the request if it makes you uncomfortable!

Tsukasa, Hanako, and Mitsuba catching there s/o trying to kill themselves❣︎

Warnings: attempt suiside, stabbing self/cutting vein(Hanako), hanging(Tsukasa), drug overdose(Mitsuba), talk of depression

A/n: This is another important request that I wanted to get to as soon as I could. Please if you ever do need to talk my messages are always open, I know the feeling. Life is tough but killing yourself isn't the answer… trust me.

I'm going to let the characters say the rest… Please message me if you ever want to vent!! I love you all!<3

“Y/N!!” Tsukasa ran into the broadcasting room, bright smile on his face. His smile dropped when he realized you weren’t in the room.

“SAKURA!! WHERE IS Y/N?!?” He ran up to her, shaking her.

“They said they were going home and left a few minutes ago…” He groaned a bit, pushing him off of her.

“Left?? Without saying goodbye to me?!?” He pouted and quickly stormed out of the room and made his way to the school entrance. Yes it was late, but not late enough for you to go home! You didn’t even say goodbye to him! He floated to the entrance, not being able to leave the school he looked around.

“Did they leave without saying goodbye…?” He questioned himself, feeling hurt by the fact you didn't care about him. He made his way around the school and into the garden but was soon face to face with you and a rope around your neck. The other end of the rope was tied to a tree and you stood on a stool which wobbled every move you made.

“Y/n… you didn’t leave…?” Tsukasa muttered, shocked by what he was seeing and not wanting to believe it.

“Tsukasa- ah-!” Your eyes widened in shock as the stool fell causing you to drop and start choking from lack of oxygen. In a matter of seconds Tsukasa was right at your side, holding you in his arms bridal style so you could breathe again.

“Y/n… breath..” You could hear the worry in his voice as he held you. His wisp cut the rope tied to the tree as he set you down. You continued to cough, getting as much air into your lungs as possible.

“Were you… going to hang yourself…?” He asked, looking at the rope in his hand. “Y/n… tell me the truth.” You buried your face into your knees, tears falling out of your eyes.

“Yeah… I was…” You hugged your knees, not wanting to look up at him.

“You were trying to kill yourself…?” He questioned again.

“I was… I’m sorry..”

“Why didn’t you talk to me first…? Why didn’t you tell me you were having a hard time..” He kneeled down in front of you, stroking your hair.

“I just… I didn't want to be a burden…”

“A burden? Baby you aren’t a burden… I want to help you through this tough time… if someone is hurting you enough for you to try and kill yourself I want to help…” You looked up at him, eyes red and puffy but you were still your beautiful self to Tsukasa. He opened his arms for you to hug him which you happily did when you jumped into his arms.

“Please Y/n… don't die… you need to stay alive..” He whispered to you, hugging you close “Life can be taken away so easily but I want you to live out yours… Live for both of us, okay?”

Hanako hummed as he walked to the bathroom. School for you has ended and he knew you would be in the bathroom cleaning already. But instead of finding you he found an empty bathroom. You looked around, confused, but saw your feet under the first stall as you leaned against the stall. He smirked floating over the door to surprise you but instead was met with shock seeing a blade against your wrist, digging in deap.

“Y/n…!” He shouted, causing you to jump in shock that he came back early from his meeting. He floated in front of you, quickly grabbing the blade out of your arm. His breathing was heavy as he saw your deep wound, drops of blood dripping on the floor and down your arm.

“Hanako…” Tears flowed down your cheeks, ashamed he caught you in this state.

“We need to get you bandaged up… you are bleeding a lot… you only cut the first vein which isn't vidal but i don't think you are far from the second one...” You heard small sniffs coming from Hanako, indicating he was crying as well.

“Let me take you to the nurse..” He picked you up, wrapping your legs around his waist as you buried your head into his neck. His grip on you tightened as his wisp circled around him bringing you to the nurses office. He placed you on the bed as he went to get the first aid kit.

“I need your arm…” His voice a bit colder than normal, holding his hand out for you to put your arm in. You gave him your cut arm, using your other arm to try and wipe the tears away. He slowly and carefully bandaged your arm, making sure to not hurt you as he does so.

“Is it too tight?” He asked which you shook your head no. He carefully watched you, noticing the way you hid your face, hiding from him. His eyes softened, seeing a lot of Amane Yugi in you. Knowing how you feel, he stood up and slowly moved your arm away, cupping your cheek with his hand.

“Y/n… please dont kill yourself…” He said softly, like you were delicate.

“Hanako… I’m sorry I just… I can't take it anymore..” You shook.

“I know how you feel… I understand, but still… killing yourself is not the way to fix it…”

“I just want it all to go… I want all the pain to end..”

“Oh Y/n… killing yourself doesn’t end any pain… that's the lie about death..” His gaze lowered to the ground, looking like he was trying to stop himself from crying “It takes away everything and brings more pain… you can't do anything when you are dead.. Become an artist, hang out with friends at the store, go to the moon…” Realization set in on the fact that Hanako killed himself, guilt overtaking you as well.

“Y/n… don't end up like me. I don't want that life for you…” He finally looked at you, tears in his eyes.

“I understand… I’m sorry..” You hugged him tight, letting him help you carry your burdens as well.

“Thank you my beautiful star… you shine so bright..”

Mitsuba floated around the school, looking in each classroom he passed. He stayed quiet as he looked for you. He pouted a bit when he didn’t find you in the last classroom he knew to look.

‘Where are they…?’ Mitsuba thought to himself, floating to the closest mirror. He looked through different parts of the school, looking for you.

“Y/n.. where are you…!” He pouted like a child a bit. He couldn’t help but smile when he finally saw you figure in the bathroom. He rushed to the bathroom you were in, opening the door with a cocky smile. He opened his mouth to say something but stopped when he saw an orange bottle on the floor. He picked it up and saw it was empty, looking at the label, it was a pain killer.

What really shocked him was when the label said it was picked up today.

“Y/n…” Mitsuba whispered, walking deeper into the bathroom, trying not to think the worse.

You stood in the last stall, pills in hand, a few in your mouth.

“M-Mitsuba…!” You jumped, shocked to see your boyfriend as he caught you trying to...kill yourself.

“What… are you doing…?” He asks “Why do you have all those pills in your hand…?” You just stared at him, not knowing what to do. In an instant you began to start swallowing the pills in your mouth.

“Y/n…!” He grabbed your arm, causing you to cough. You placed your hand on your throat, almost choking on a couple pills as you leaned on the wall for support.

“You idiot! What the hell do you think you are doing…! That’s… that's overdosing!” He scolded you. His annoyance that was building up in him soon calmed down when he your crying form, regretting your decision.

“Y/n… I’m sorry I just… I couldn’t have you swallowing all those pills…” He sighs and looks down.

“I-I’m sorry M-Mitsuba…” You cried even more, failing to say more words.

“Please just… dont do that ever again… please…” His gaze lowered as he hugs you in his arms. You instantly hugged him back, needing his comfort s you cried into hos shoulder.

“B-but Mitsuba-“

“No buts Y/n…! You can’t die… I don't want you to end up how I am…” His eyes started to water, his teasing nature now gone as he gave you a serious look.

“L-like you… a g-ghost…” Your muffles voice spoke.

“Yeah… I want you to live a happy life… I will always be a ghost but you can grow up and experience the beautiful portrait of life…its so terrible and perfect at the same time and you can only experience it once so dont throw it out… please..”

You nodded into his shoulder, unable to form words.

“Like is a beautiful picture… please capture it for me...”

#tsukasa x reader #hanako x reader #mitsuba x reader #tbhk x reader #tbhk #toilet bound hanako kun #toilet bound x reader #tbhk anime #hanako kun #jshk #jshk x reader #yugi tsukasa #tsukasa yugi #sousuke mitsuba

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myrulia · 3 years

Text

"You Taste Sweeter" - Kokushibou x Self Conscious!Reader

.｡.:*✧Synopsis: You are rather self conscious of yourself and it becomes bothersome to your Upper Moon of a lover. How will you react to you being beneath him and having sweets drizzled all over you, all the while being treated like fragile candy?

.｡.:*✧Warnings: Food play, body worship, praising, dirty talk

.｡.:*✧Word count: 4225

`` Does this look decent? `` You asked whilst slowly turning around to meet the gaze of your one and only, Kokushibou. The Upper Moon One was simply sitting on your shared bed and eyeing your standing form that changed into the fifth outfit of the hour. Truth be told, he was annoyed with your constant switches and why you cared so deeply about others opinion. At the end of the day, if you are comfortable then why worry?

`` [Y/N], choose a kimono already. This is the 5th one and my statement still stands, choose the first one and get it over with, `` said Kokushibou with a harsh tone. You knew he leisurely became aggravated at your hesitancy to decide on an outfit. The process could have been done an hour ago - and yet here you are, standing in front of your mirror with furrowed eyebrows and glaring at your lover. `` Darling, it is not as easy as you make it seem- ``

`` Then what is stopping you? ``

His sudden interruption made you go as quiet as a field mouse. Your back stiffened and it was obvious your entire body became tense. As always, Kokushibou had read you like a book and there was nothing you could do to outsmart him. Sighing out, you allowed your shoulders to drop to relax your stiffened muscles, still standing before the Upper Moon in slight shame that you allowed yourself to hide the truth from him for so long. You did not wish to take so long with choosing a measly outfit - in fact it never took you this long before - but this night was different. It started a little after sundown when you first looked at yourself in nothing but basic lingerie to analyze yourself, and the more you looked, the more you found more imperfections about yourself. You thought to yourself that Kokushibou deserved better than less than perfect, and thinking of the many beautiful humans and demons you have seen in your lifetime, you have come to realize just how truly indifferent you are.

As you were lost in thought, your much taller lover stood up from your shared bed, now taking slow strides to you until he was directly in front of you, placing his much larger hands on your shoulders and heaving out a small breath before speaking - supposedly attempting to de-escalate his aggravation. `` [Y/N], what are you not telling me? ``

In that annoyingly husky voice, Kokushibou leant down to your left ear, speaking in such a deep tone that you had to readjust the clothes that suddenly became tight on your skin. The demon then stood straight with his hands still on your smaller form, all the while you had to recollect yourself in order to speak your truth to your lover. Inhaling and exhaling slowly, you look into the pair of eyes in the middle, finally speaking. `` I have felt uncomfortable in my own skin as of late. I feel like I am not good enough because there are many more beautiful women to choose from so I do not know why you would choose me. ``

This time he let you speak, processing what you said and scoffing in both disbelief and offense. His glare became more prominent on his features so suddenly you felt smaller than what he usually makes you feel. Removing your gaze from his golden irises, you look down at the tatami mat flooring to ignore the internal shame you felt for feeling such ways. It is not like you could control those emotions, you felt as though you could not be compared to any other women your eyes have fallen upon. They were beyond gorgeous and that was a fact you accepted the more you thought about your imperfections.

`` Look at me. ``

His demanding tone lead to your head to snap in the direction of his own, which caused your chin to naturally tilt up. Your lip was quivering - yet barely noticeable because you wanted to look strong for your even stronger lover. Of course, his supernatural vision allowed him to notice every single detail about you, and so he obviously saw the pained expression on your face that you were struggling to hide. Sighing and shaking his head, Kokushibou runs a thumb over your bottom, glossy lip before leaning in and pressing a chaste kiss onto your plump lips. You immediately let out a small whimper as your walls basically became crumbling down, allowing yourself to melt into his embrace.

Your lips practically lunged at his, tasting him for all he is worth while his did the same, indulging himself in your flavor until that is all he could detect on his taste receptors. A kiss that went from something so delicate and innocent now turned salacious and lust-filled. Your back was met with the hard surface of the wall from Kokushibou forcefully pushing you, and so you let out a small gasp that parted your lips yet they were quickly silenced with his landing on yours once more. You were trapped in his embrace in that moment with your small whimpers being hushed by his lips ravaging yours hungrily, obviously wanting something more out of the already heated kiss. Although oxygen was also needed so he withdrew himself from you, all the while you were left a mess and leaning against the wall for support. A hand of yours made its way onto the demon's hair, raking your fingers through the mess until you successfully pulled his ponytail out from its hold.

While you both chased after your much needed breath, calloused hands moved from your shoulders to your waist, yet positioned themselves at your thighs and hoisted you up on the wall. Instinctively, you wrap your legs around his waist to keep yourself from falling onto the floor, but just as quickly as you also wrapped your arms around his neck, Kokushibou kept his hands firm on your thighs. He sauntered back to your shared bed and placed you gently on the mattress, standing in between your thighs that refused to let him go. The Upper Moon took note of your actions and let out a small chuckle, just before wiping away any stray hairs that had fallen on your face. `` Please wait for me, I need to grab something from the other room. ``

You pouted at his sudden announcement of leaving due to the fact that he already managed to get you this bothered in your own clothes, feeling as though you are suffocating in them. `` Fine, but do hurry, I need you. ``

He simply nodded before placing your legs back down and stepping out of the room quickly to grab who knows what. While your lover is unfortunately gone, your hands spring to strip your body of the overly smothering kimono on your body. You discarded the unnecessary clothing onto the floor, taking no note of the small noise you heard outside of the sliding door connecting to the hallway of your home.

Whilst you were stuck in the bedroom being impatient as ever, Kokushibou who looked around for a certain something was having a hard time locating the item he acquired merely a few days ago. He let out a low grunt of dissatisfaction multiple times until he successfully located the one thing he desired.

Chocolate.

Not just any chocolate, chocolate syrup that he had many plans with. Having said substance in hand, he strolls back to your shared bedroom only to be met with the sight of your body in nothing but a simple underwear set, but the one thing that caught all six of his eyes was your fingers plunging in and out of your cunt whorishly. Your eyes were closed so you were not aware of his entrance, your cheeks being flushed from the feeling of your fingers - yet it was not enough to pleasure yourself. You twisted and writhed, your legs being clenched shut trying to feel more from yourself, yet you could not satisfy your own needs no matter how rigorously you moved your two digits.

Kokushibou, who continued to move undetected, placed the chocolate onto the bedside table, moving to stand in front of you once completed with the simple task. He could not lie, he was enjoying the sight of you not being able to get yourself off without the help of himself, yet despite enjoying the small little show you were not aware of giving him, his hand finds your wrist, grabbing you gently to stop your movements. You peel your eyes open to meet his gaze, your faces being inches from each other. `` I- I am so sorry- ``

`` There is nothing to apologize for, but my star, let me make you feel how beautiful you are instead. ``

Your cheeks flushed even more once Kokushibou began crawling onto the bed, pulling down your panties by the hem, slowly gliding them down your legs until they were completely off and throwing them to the side as well. His other hand trailing up your thigh and spreading your legs to reveal the delicious sight of your dripping pussy pulsating in such desire for him. You crawled backwards until your back hit the wall once more, meaning you were trapped and at his disposal as always. The male kept his eyes fixated on you and your flustered state that was so easy to cause. You turned your head away feeling flushed and heated in your lower reigns, but you refused to admit to such things. `` [Y/N] I want you to look at me as I pleasure you. ``

His voice returned to the same husky tone he used earlier to seduce you into doing such naughty things, so you found yourself staring into his golden irises again and longing for his touch, his scent to overwhelm your nose, his cock bending your mind to pleasure. You desired him and it was no point in hiding such a fact. There were no words that needed to be uttered in order for Kokushibou to understand just exactly what you needed - but that does not mean he is not going to be a tease about it.

Laying you down gently, he now has both hands interlocked with yours, hovering above your almost entirely exposed body while the only thing exposed of his was his chest and abdomen. It was a habit of his to wander around your shared living space in nothing but a measly hakama that teased the living hell out of you, and even now, it seemed like the fabric was mocking you again, blocking your view of his muscular body above yours. `` My love, I never want you to feel like you are anything less than utterly beautiful. You will forever be the brightest star in my life and nothing can change that. Please do not feel those things about yourself ever again, otherwise the punishment will be far worse than this. ``

`` What do you mean punishme- oh, `` you managed to let out a small gasp at the end of your questioning sentence in view of the fact that your lover grabbed something you never would have even guessed he owned, drizzling the light brown substance all over your lower abdomen. The cold feeling being left on your exposed skin caused you to squirm - just a bit - so you could adjust yourself to the temperature, and seeing you struggle was amusing to the demon before you. A large hand glides up your arms, stopping just in front of your still covered chest by that accursed bra of yours, so in one swift movement, it is ripped from your body and in shreds on the floor. You let out a miniscule whimper at your nipples now being exposed to the cold air around you.

Kokushibou's hands then trailed to your cold, erected nipples, fondling with the two sensitive buds while watching your face scrunch at the tease of pleasure he was giving you. Bucking your hips up, you whine much more audibly this time, making your needs and wants known to the Upper Moon because the teasing was driving you mad. A deep chuckle escaped his lips. Now leaning his head forward, his tongue probes out from his mouth and landing on your skin, coaxing the wet muscle with the chocolate he drizzled all over your stomach without shame. He continued to eye your expression, only to see that your eyes were closed and your head was now tilted back. He figured your nipples got the teasing they deserved so he pressed the pad of his thumb on the buds before gripping your breasts entirely, kneading the two globes while his tongue explored your body.

You writhed beneath him each time his fangs would brush against your skin, multiple shivers emitting from your spine that caused you to shiver. The feeling of his tongue on your body trailing up in between the valley of your breast was mind numbing and your toes curled at this. Kokushibou knew what he was doing as he got closer and closer to his face, his tongue being lathered in chocolate and saliva, the two substances that made a dangerous combination on your skin. You refused to open your eyes because now your cheeks were crimson all over again. You never would have expected such acts from a demon like the Upper Moon, and yet here you are underneath him being treated like royalty almost.

`` I will not ask this again [Y/N], open your eyes and look at me. ``

You followed his orders - slowly. It was on purpose just to see how far he is willing to go to get his point across. Yes you were going to be a brat about it, but gradually become worse over time.

Once your eyes were fixated on him, his hand that was on your left breast gripped your cheeks, which caused your lips to be puckered open and you looked in shock as the demon spat in your mouth before exerting his lips onto yours. His tongue forcibly entered your mouth, allowing you to taste the sweet chocolate on his taste buds that was being transferred to yours, saliva getting in the mix until you could not tell who's was who's. Your hands that were originally gripped the bedsheets now wrapped themselves around his neck, pulling him closer until your chest was pressed against his. Soon you pulled away for oxygen, and it took one glance in each other's eyes to know what the latter wanted. `` Kokushibou I am sorry for wasting o-our time. Please do not tease for long. I need you to fulfill my needs. ``

`` Do not worry, your needs will be fulfilled when I say so, my star, `` Kokushibou said in a lower tone, letting go of your face and breast to finally rid of the difficult hakama covering his own erection. He quickly discarded the fabric and threw it onto the floor beside the bed, looking down at you with a fire ablaze in his eyes, peering at your body having chocolate smeared all over, but he is not done with the sweet treat just yet. `` It does not seem like you are doing much about my needs darling. ``

`` Do not worry, they will soon enough, just be patient, `` he reassured while caressing your face ever so gently with his fingers. The gesture was gentle and loving in a sense, yet you felt his girthy length invaded your already flexing pussy. Your eyes fluttered back as you do nothing but surrender yourself to complete bliss. `` Kokushibou! Warn m-me..! ``

`` You do not deserve a warning, this is a punishment..- after all, `` he snarled in response. His calloused hands found yours, taking the chance to interlock your fingers and stare down at your beautiful irises. `` You deserve to feel what it is like to be loved, and so I will not stop until you know just how beautiful you are. ``

You simply nodded, not really knowing what else to do in that moment since you felt so full because of his cock alone. You tried to adjust yourself, yet your walls continued to contract and clench on his length, and that was all it took for the male to start his slow, yet hard thrusts. He pulled out slowly, barely to the tip, before slamming himself back inside you. You inhaled sharply before letting out a loud, breathy moan, rolling your hips so you can ease the fiery pain and pleasure that overflooded your senses throughout your entire body. Kokushibou let out a deep groan before it quickly changed into an also breathy moan, tilting his head back whilst his hands started to grip yours. He was losing control and it was obvious with how every vein pulsed on his body and became more prominent.

Moan after moan escaped your lips each time he continuously rammed his length deep inside you, reaching every goddamn spot inside of your silky insides covered in your delectable juices that made it much more easier for Kokushibou to slide in and out of your hole effortlessly. The hard rutting of his hips against yours became bruising due to the fact that his thrusts were roughly inflicting pleasure to your pussy and your skin would meet with his every time. It was too much and he barely did anything.

Your hands wormed out of his to get a better grip of something, anything, just to calm the electrifying waves of pleasure taking over your nervous system as a whole, so you moved your hands to his back and clawed at his skin for dear life. The action earned you a low growl from Kokushibou who had to grip onto the bedsheets for dear life just to hold himself up. Your nails digging into his back was painful - but enjoyable to know that he is pleasuring you this well - yet very far from done.

`` Enjoying yourself? `` He mocked whilst finally looking down at whatever ruined state you were already in. Your eyes had managed to roll back fully, your tongue being partially lolled out of your gaping mouth. Sweat droplets managed to form on your face due to the sheer amount of force his thrusts had. You nodded your head quickly in response, not being able to let out anything else except for moans of his name and moans in general, which was such a radiant sight to see for Kokushibou who knew just what to do to have you seeing stars. He himself was becoming pleasure blinded, for his slow yet rough paced was slowly becoming more rapid as more perspiration formed on his chest, forehead, arms, and lower abdomen. It was a sexy sight to say the least as groan after breathy groan came from his lips, but that quickly latched onto the side of your throat, biting the flesh - yet not enough to actually tear skin. `` Do..- Do you think I am done with you? This was just the start [Y/N]. ``

You could not conjure up a proper response, just a loud moan as you felt a hardened tip kiss against the entrance of your cervix. The feeling sent more shocks of pleasure throughout your nervous system, your breath hitching and your face scrunching up once more. `` I believe you will.. try your best!- Ngh- But what will you do.. if you do n-not succeed? ``

`` That will not happen.. rest assured. You will not know anything else but just how much of a beautiful person you are, o-okay? `` You could have sworn you heard Kokushibou out of all demons stutter on his own words. Your walls began clamping down on his cock that continued to fill your insides with each rough movement, so you felt yourself becoming closer to your climax than you had hoped.

Your chests were practically glued together from the combined sweat of your bodies as his pace never faltered, only continuing to further quicken and add on to your mind going foggy. `` I cannot have you going blank just yet, stay with me, my love. ``

His words went in one ear and out the other, but as soon as you felt the cold substance be drizzled on your chest, you gasped out his name audibly whilst having your mouth set agape even more. You tried to process one thing at a time yet before you knew it his vein covered hands gripped your breasts with such force that you arched your back into his chest even more, your breath hitching at the suddenness. `` Y-Yes I promise..! ``

Kokushibou's tongue darted to your chocolate-covered nipple first, bathing his taste receptors in the sweet substance all the while sucking greedily on the erected bud. Your moans came out more shaky each time a groan emitted from his esophagus, the vibrations transferring to your own body that just made your pleasure enhanced senses skyrocket. `` The chocolate may be sweet..- `` Kokushibou paused. `` ..But you taste sweeter. ``

His mouth moved from one nipple to the other, repeating the action of licking your chest clean that had you seeing stars at that point. The roughness of his thrusts still kissing just against your cervix sending constant tsunamis of intense pleasure throughout your entire being was starting to become mind numbing as your climax was slowly approaching.

`` Ko-Kokushibou- ah! I'm going to.. cum-! `` You shouted out above your moans, your mouth being left agape due to the sudden pace change of force being put into the plunging of his cock going deeper and deeper inside you with each loud mewl of his name. It was driving him crazy having your nails dig further into his back that was bound to leave marks clear as day, yet he did not mind because the pain was one of the only things keeping him from losing himself in the pleasure your slick-covered walls were giving him. He merely groaned in response, nodding rapidly, not wanting to answer in coherent words in view of the fact that his tongue was still gathering any remaining chocolate on your chest, trailing the wet muscle up your neck and leaving yet another bite mark next to the one he left earlier.

`` I want you- fuck- I want you to know how beautiful you are.. inside and out..-`` Kokushibou said, his tone being more rugged than before feeling his own climax approach ever so slowly, building up to release his load within your depths. The swelling within your core would not stop growing until eventually your mind was painted white, releasing on your lover's cock and squeezing your eyes shut to truly savor the feeling of your walls being coated with your cum that continued to spasm around his cock.

Just as you were still lost in a shocked state of your orgasm, your face was suddenly gripped by two masculine hands, being forced to look at the owner in his eyes that read "Upper Moon One." `` I'm going to cum inside you, and you better be appreciative of every single drop, otherwise there will be consequences.``

You simply nodded as quickly as you could, his thrusts still not faltering. Although with one slam of his hips against yours, his seed is suddenly erupting inside you, your eyes now rolling back once more at the feeling of being filled to the brim. You felt full to say the least, since your cum was mixed with his, swelling your tummy even. A deep and breathy groan escaped Kokushibou's lips as he continued to release his cum within your aching cunt that seemed to milk him dry with each throb.

The demon had finally stilled once his peak of pleasure had finally settled down, his body still hovering above yours as his 3 pairs of eyes could not tear themselves from your whorish expression. Your cheeks had a few tear stains, as well as your eyes being bloodshot and rolled into the back of your head, your mouth being left hanging open that had saliva dripping from your twitching lips. It was an amusing sight to say the least to Kokushibou, for seeing you in such a ruined state could instantly get his cock hard again at the thought of him being able to make you see other worlds with his length alone. His calloused hand caressed your face, a gentle action that brought you back to your senses, being able to focus on his handsome face again.

There was a loving smile on your face that was small - but there, even though your face was practically ruined. You leaned into his hand and closed your eyes, allowing yourself to melt into the warmth of his palm that you craved to feel in a gentle manner. You both had heavy breathes, trying to desperately regain oxygen after using your energy for such a scandalous act, yet the male before you used his energy to lay beside you, now turning you around so that your back is pressed against his chest and your leg raised by his other free hand. `` If you think I was done with you [Y/N], then you are sadly mistaken. I want you to remember that you are beautiful whether you think so or not. So answer me, do you believe you are beautiful? ``

`` Yes of course I do..!- ``

`` That did not sound so convincing my love, I suggest you need to be reminded again. ``

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#kokushibou #kny kokushibou #kokushibo x reader #kny imagines #kny x reader #demon slayer kokushibou #kokushibou smut #kny kokushibou x reader #kny Kokushibou smut #demon slayer smut #kny smut

422 notes · View notes

saphirered · 3 years

Note

We've all seen fics where Caleb's SO dies and gets resurrected, and we seen Caleb accidentally hurting his SO, but what about Caleb accidentially killing his SO? Maybe Reader got burned by one of his fire attacks? The revival's successful, but damn, the angst.

Angst was requested and angst you shall receive. I hope this is to your liking. 😘

Trigger warning for death and grief themes.

Caleb sits on his knees, head bowed, whispering pleas in Zemnian to the gods, the world, to you, your cold hand encased between his own, occasionally pressing a kiss to it in the hopes you’d just wake up. But you’re not going to wake up. Not in the way you would in the morning when you’ve had a particularly late night and Caleb has to drag you out of bed, you being stubborn or pretending to still be asleep so you maybe could convince him to join you for a little more. Not in the way after you got knocked out in a fight, when you sit up and rub your eyes with a grunt like usual. Nothing within his capabilities will wake you up.

So here Caleb sits, begging for it to be a nightmare, some sick and twisted tricks played on his mind but there’s no denying this is real and this is the truth. You’re dead. You’re dead and it’s his fault. You ended up as collateral damage in his reckless attempt to kill the creature. You got stuck in the crossfire of that. He hadn’t realised you were doing so bad already, you even sent him a wink right before when he asked if you were okay. Why did you? Why didn’t you just tell him you weren’t? Why did you lie? Not lie, omitted the truth.

He knew exactly why you did it but that doesn’t make it any easier. You’d known the other’s weren’t doing great and barely holding on already. You were severely outmatched and couldn’t get away from the creature. Not without it chasing after you and running you in an even more perilous situation. Anything Caleb could do would affect anyone close to the creature. With Yasha having dragged Beau out of the fray you were the only one left to hold it at bay while the clerics worked on patching them up, Fjord and Veth offering them cover. You were the final line of defence. At the end of the day you had to keep the clerics alive.

Caleb took a calculated risk. A fireball to send the creature dropping into the ruined depths of Aeor. He had tried to keep you out of the range but wouldn’t have been able to strike the creature without putting you at risk. The spell worked and the creature got hit with full force. It was your attack right before the fireball struck that had send it stumbling, then with the blast, it lost its footing and stumbled off the edge.

But you too, dropped. and when you did, the creature’s tail lashed out, grabbing onto your body, dragging you with it. The creature had hit the platform below in its fall and the impact had made it release you, saving you from the full drop. Caleb had rushed to the edge, fear, pain, anger and guilt riddling his mind thinking he had truly lost you but there you were, bloodied, bruised, broken and burned. Because of him. All because of him. How could he have been so stupid and reckless. When he brought your body back to the others, he wasn’t quick enough. You’d already faded into the cold embrace of the Raven Queen and the clerics had expended their last resources.

So that leaves Caleb here, sitting at your side a day after you died, body preserved by the graces of Caduceus and the Wildmother. The clerics set up their ritual, working around him and you as the others help where they can. Beau and Veth had tried to console him, tell him it wasn’t his fault and if he hadn’t they might all have been dead right now. He appreciates his friends trying but it’s of no use. He already made up his mind and it’s not going to change anything. You died because of him. He murdered you and how is that any different than his actions in the past? How does that make him any different than the lives he’s taken in the clutches of his former mentor? Is there truly no redemption for him? You’d slap him for even thinking that way.

“Mr. Caleb? Why don’t you try talking to them? Persuasion has worked in the past to coax someone back.” Caduceus places a hand on the wizard’s shoulder but it barely registers. Yet the firbolg knows they did not fall upon deaf ears when the whispers stop for just a moment.

“I-. I do not think they’d want to hear from their murderer.” Speaking the words make them so much more painful. By the looks of it, Beau is ready to unleash in a degrading rant about how wrong Caleb is, breaking him apart only build him back up but she’s held at bay by Yasha. This is not the time and place. Caduceus doesn’t claim to know what Caleb’s going through, nor may he be the brightest mind here but he understands and can empathise.

“I know no matter what I say it won’t change your feelings so instead I will offer you this. You owe it to them to try. Not for what happened here but for the countless times they’ve been there for you, have had your back, and for the unconditional love they’ve given you. You owe them to try.” The wizard looks up over his shoulder to the firbolg, pain in his eyes, and the trails of silent tears that have long since run out. Caduceus is right. He owes it to you to save you and right now it is within his power to try. If he doesn’t, if he fails he’ll have condemned you to this fate. If he succeeds with this part, he’ll be able to look into your eyes again. You may never forgive him but he hopes to see you smile, hear your voice even if just once more.

Caleb nods looking back at you, bringing your limp fingers up to his lips and pressing them against your knuckles. He takes in a deep breath and tries to find the right words as Caduceus steps back. What are the right words? He cannot afford to fuck this up. He cannot afford to fail. He must succeed. He must.

“I know I might be the last person you want to hear right now. I want you to know I’m sorry-“ Caleb’s voice cracks as he feels the eyes of the others on him. He brushes some of your hair away from your forehead, running his thumb across your cheek.

“I don’t-uh. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know if I can do this. You’re always here for me during difficult times. You’d put your hand on my cheek and tell me ‘If anyone can do it it’s you, Caleb Widogast. You could move mountains if you set your will to it. Now stop being stubborn before I slap some sense in you.’ but now you’re not here to tell me that. You’ve shown me there’s a world beyond the walls I put up, that there is a light at the end of that tunnel, but now I cannot help but feel the world has grown dull, the walls are caving in, and that light is fading.”

“I have no right, no right to ask you this, but I need you to save my world one more time. So please, I beg of you. Do not leave me to brave this world without you.” The weight of his heart heavy on his conscious. Caleb feels a pressure causing a ringing in his ears. He’s so focussed on you, he cannot take his eyes off you. Not even when the others do their part in the ritual. He realises this pressure is coming from the effects of the spell to bring you back. He holds his breath, not daring to take in oxygen if only to savour the moment, hoping it will not pass, that for just a little longer he can hold on to the hope you’re coming back instead of having that hope crushed by a potential failure.

The pressure fades but nothing happens. Nothing changes. It’s silent as everyone waits for something, anything to happen. That moment alone feels like an eternity of suspense. Caleb finds himself whispering prayers and pleas in Zemnian again, your hand clasped between his own as he squeezes his eyes shut tightly to live through the memories of you, preserve them for the rest of his life just in case because he refuses to forget even a single one of them. He’s so consumed in his own mind he doesn’t notice warmth returning to your fingers. He doesn’t notice your chest beginning to rise and fall. Caleb’s pleas continue.

“Would you mind translating that? I think my brain got a bit scrambled.” Caleb freezes and his eyes open. Your eyes are closed but your brow is furrowed. Furrowed in discomfort. Not sleeping and not void of your usual expressions. Colour has returned to your limbs and face and no longer dulled. Caleb falls silent in disbelief, frozen in place and mind blank.

“Caleb?” You speak his name, peaking through one eye to see the wizard in his disheveled state. You sit up, grunting in pain. Apparently being brought back from the dead isn’t kind on your physical form, not even mentioning the exhaustion weighing on your mind. You could sleep for a couple of hours… or days… or weeks… You could do with a break really. All of you could. You nudge Caleb’s head up by his chin allowing your fingers to slide onto his cheek.

“Blink twice if you need me to get Beauregard to slap you back into reality.” You muster a smile as you brush your thumb over his cheekbone. Caleb doesn’t understand how you’re not recoiling in disgust or lashing back in anger. He doesn’t understand how you can look at him with love and kindness.

“I’m so sorry. Please-“ Caleb goes off in a spur of apologies, begging for your forgiveness.

“Caleb, I love you but you really need to stop. This is a problem for another day.”

“You died. I killed you. How can you even look at me like you do?”

“So what? I died. I’m here now. I got better. Now preferably I’d like to not die again, some things are beyond our control. And if you need some kind of reassurance; Veth killed Cad that one time and he doesn’t hate her.” Veth yells a ‘hey’ in defence while you earn a chuckle from the firbolg. You know Caleb isn’t just going to take your word for it and you’re also not going to make anyone buy you’re totally okay with just dying and being brought back to life because you’re not but you also know that you can’t blame Caleb for being a factor in what happened when you yourself were aware of the risks of the situation you were in. You made your own bet and it didn’t pay off but all your friends are still alive and well, Caleb’s still alive and well and that alone makes it worth the risk you took.

“You have no idea how much I love you.” Caleb breathes as he pulls you into his arms with a gentleness as if you’re made of porcelain, or will fade out of existence if he holds on too tightly.

“I think I have a pretty good estimate but we can compare notes later if you’d prefer.” You pull back enough to look at Caleb’s face, brush aside some of the red strands and softly place your lips on his. It’s not a heated kiss but one filled with emotion and a desperation no less. Neither of you thought you’d get to be in each other’s arms again but here you are despite everything. Maybe your work here isn’t done yet. You still got some asses to kick.

#critical role x reader #critrole x reader #mighty nein x reader #caleb x reader #caleb widogast x reader #critical role #mighty nein

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betweenthepages · 3 years

Text

The Cure: Chapter 1

Summary: You get outed to your parents and it doesn’t go so well. But at least you have Jess Mariano.

Word count: 2370

⚠️Warnings⚠️: homophobia, homophobic violence

“Mom? Dad?” You called out, stepping into the silence of your home. You entered the living room and was met with the sight of both your parents seated on the couch. Your father’s gaze fixated on the floor with his hands clasped in front of him, lips drawn in a thin line. Your mother lifted her head in acknowledgment. The TV was off, no conversation being exchanged. Idleness hung in the atmosphere. “What’s going on?” You frowned. “Sit down, (Y/N).” Nervousness bubbled in your chest as you sat across from them. “Did I do something?” You asked, furrowing your brows.

Your dad’s eyes locked with yours. “Are you gay?” The question was completely unexpected. Your eyes widened in confusion. Sweat moistened your palms. “Am I- what?”

“Are. You. Gay. With that Mariano boy?” He gritted his teeth, his voice low to the point of growling. Your muscles tensed and you quickly debated coming clean or denying it. They wouldn’t be too pleased with the knowledge that you liked other boys, especially Jess. Heck you weren’t even allowed to be friends with him. You knew you couldn’t hide it forever. You were planning to let them know once you moved out and were no longer reliant on them. Perhaps deception would work, for now.

“No?” you put on your best act of confusion, “Where are you getting this from?” Your mother whipped her head towards you, eyes filled with a darkness that was completely unfamiliar. Your dad’s face reddened, fists clenched and visibly shaking. Fear clouded your senses. “What are these, then?” Your mother placed some pictures on the coffee table. Pictures of you and Jess. Holding hands and kissing. Your heart sunk to your stomach. “W-Where did you get these...?” Your voice was shaky from restraining tears. “They were left in our mailbox this morning, no envelope or name. How can you explain this (Y/N)?” Your mom scowled. Your throat went dry. Who would do this to you? Who hated you this much? Well, it didn’t matter who had done it, because there was no way to cover it up.

“It’s true, okay? I’m gay, I’ve been seeing Jess for-” You were cut off by a stinging pain on your cheek and a sharp sound echoing the room. Your father loomed over you, nostrils flaring and looking at you with pure hatred. You cowered in his shadow. “I did not raise a gay son! You ought to be ashamed of yourself! All those years of giving you a good life and a roof over your head for nothing! Disgraceful.” You whimpered as he fisted your hair painfully and reared your head back to look up at him. “You are not my son.” He spat. In quick seconds your body painfully collided with the coffee table, pain shooting up your abdomen. You barely had time to catch a breath before you were yanked up and slammed against the wall. Rough, calloused hands, pressing against your windpipe. You squirmed in an useless attempt to flee. Your chest tightened painfully. Your head felt light. You wanted Jess. He would hold you and protect you and take you away from this pain. Black spots dotted your vision and you thought ‘this is it. I’m going to die.’ Seconds before you passed out, the hands removed themselves and you collapsed on the floor, gasping for breath. You cherished the temporary relief of having oxygen in your lungs while it lasted. You were kicked down into a lying position, your father’s heel coming in contact with area that hit the table. Tears cascaded down your swollen cheeks as you curled into yourself. The blows kept coming. You just shut your eyes and took it, holding onto hope that it would end eventually. By the time your dad finally took his foot away, your body was at it’s breaking point. Every breath came with immense pain. Bruises, scrapes and cuts blemished your skin. “You’re going to get up,” your father spoke, “and get the fuck out of my house.” You briefly glanced to your mother standing in the corner, staring at you intently. Her expression was unreadable, but she voiced no protest. You were in no state to be able to pack your belongings. Hopefully you’d be able to return and collect them. Or maybe your parents would destroy them. Right now, it wasn’t your concern. Your dad left to the kitchen, probably to get a beer, and your mother followed suit. Mustering the last ounce of strength you had, you crawled to the front door. With every movement your muscles ached. Holding onto the wall for balance, you carefully rose to your feet. Only grabbing your phone and jacket, you exited onto the pitch black streets.

You limped in the direction of Luke’s Diner, but gave up after a block. You were physically incapable of covering the distance. You quickly dialled Jess’s number, tears blurring your vision. It rang once. Twice. Your heart hammered in your chest, your breathing grew heavy. You felt a panic attack oncoming and you needed to hear Jess’s voice. Please pick up, please pick up. “(Y/N)?” Jess said across the line, voice thick with sleep. “Jess...” you whimpered, words getting caught in your throat. “(Y/N) what’s up? It’s late.”

“I-I need you. I need help. It hurts, Jess.”

“What hurts? What happened?” He was awake now, and seemingly alarmed. “I need an ambulance,” you glanced at the street sign, “I’m on Peach Street. Call them and get here, p-please.” Staying conscious was becoming a struggle. “Okay, okay hold on I’ll make the call.” Jess quickly switched lines and you leaned against the wall, waiting. Watching the stars kept you occupied. You were about to close your eyes until the blaring of a siren approached. You could vaguely recognise a car following behind it. As it neared, you recognised it as Luke’s pick up truck. You couldn’t see Jess’s face, but knowing that he came provided some relief. Jess got to you before the paramedics did. Warm hands cupped your battered face and soft caresses ghosted your skin. . “(Y/N), god what happened?” You chuckled bitterly. “Mom and dad found out about us. I’ll explain later. It didn’t go so well though.” You clutched your side. Talking was painful. Jess was about to say something but the paramedics told him to back away so they could load you into a stretcher. “Sir? Sir try to stay awake please.” Said a female paramedic as your eyelids drooped. Jess was out of your vision, but you could make out his voice shouting over them, asking to come on the ambulance. Of course that privilege wouldn’t be extended to non-family. Luke told him to buckle up and he’ll drive them there. You were exhausted, and the pain in your body was unbearable. Your allowed your eyes to shut, darkness replacing the blinding ambulance lights.

Jess and Luke sat in the waiting room, anxiously awaiting news about your condition. Jess’s leg was shaking and he seemed distanced in his thoughts. He had told Luke on the way that this had something to do with your parents. He’s had his fair share of beatings from Liz’s boyfriends, but he was struck with disbelief knowing someone could cause this much damage to their own child. The doctor emerged. “How is he?” Luke asked. “He has 3 broken ribs, internal bleeding, several deep cuts, contusions and a dislocated jaw. But he’s no longer in critical condition. It’s good we got to him when we did, or it may have been too late.” Jess‘s eyes widened and his blood ran cold. Luke thanked the doctor and bid him goodbye, then focused his attention on his distressed nephew. “T-They almost killed him...” Jess whispered, eyes widened and watery. Luke sighed, pulling the boy into a side hug. In truth, he was just as worried as your boyfriend was. He was accepting your relationship and cared for you. Ever since you’d come into Jess’s life, his immature ways and short temper had ceased. His school attendance went up as well as his grades. The sarcastic remarks and witty insults weren’t going away anytime soon, but Luke knew there was a mutual love between him and his nephew. And he knew you meant the absolute world to Jess. “You heard the doctors. He’ll be okay. He’s strong.” He rubbed the teen’s shoulder in consolation.

Patients and visitors entered and exited the hospital doors while Luke and Jess sat in silence. The clock was about to strike 1am yet they were more awake than ever. Jess hadn’t particularly liked your parents previously, but now his hatred for them ran deep. Upon his first arrival to Stars Hollow, they had advised you to keep your distance because word of his troublemaking antics spread fast. But you with your sweet, kind soul was willing to give him a chance.

A nurse approached them. “(Y/N) (L/N) is awake. You can see him now.” Jess bounded to his feet, swiftly stepping to your room without waiting for Luke to follow. He paused abruptly at your door and took a breath. Your head turned at the sound of the door slowly creaking open. Jess stepped in, and a feeling of warmth evaded your body despite the chill of the hospital room. You shifted to make room for him on the bed. Without a word, he embraced you. Careful not to hurt you, he rested his head on your shoulder, and the cloth of the gown dampened. “Jess.” You cooed, rubbing his back. “I almost lost you...” he mumbled. “I-It’s okay. I’m not okay, but I will be. The hospital staff are doing their best.” You attempted a smile but it hurt your face. Jess pulled away with a sigh, calloused hand cupping your cheek. “I want to know what happened. Not now, if you don’t feel like it. When you’re ready.”

“Well, I got home and my mom showed these pictures someone took of us kissing. She said they were left in the mailbox by an anonymous. I told them that I’m gay and that we’re dating, and... yeah.” You averted your gaze to you and Jess’s intertwined hands, playing with his fingers. Jess furrowed his brows. “Why would anybody-” You cut him off. “I don’t care about that now Jess. It’s all so much, I’m gonna see a social worker and the police, I don’t know where I’m going to live, people are gonna talk about what happened. Plus I’m tired and everything’s sore.” You felt like crying again before Jess shushed you, carding his hands through your hair and kissing your cheek. “Hey hey, (Y/N) I’m sorry. Calm down.” He readjusted to a laying position and carefully guided you into laying down on top of him, using his toned chest as a pillow. “I love you. So much. We can figure everything out later, just get some sleep. It’s almost midnight.”

“I want you to stay and be there when I wake up.” You said. “Okay.” Jess smiled. There was a cough, you both turned to see Luke in the doorway. “Well, I’ll leave you guys alone and uh, Jess I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning.” He nodded, “Goodnight (Y/N), call me if you need anything.” You smiled at him and bid your goodbyes, before it was back to just you and your boyfriend. Jess leaned over to turn off the light. “I love you, Jess.” You said into the darkness. He responded with a long kiss to your forehead.

Jess woke up first. The hospital staff hadn’t arrived yet, so he wouldn’t get in trouble. He pressed light kisses on your forehead until your eyes fluttered open. “Morning.” He smirked. “Morning,” you grumbled, nuzzling into him. “What’s going on today?” He asked. “I explained the cause of my injuries to the doctor and now I’ve got to talk to the authorities. Then I’m seeing a social worker and doing some paperwork.”

“Where you going to stay?” Jess asked softly.

“If my parents get arrested then I’ll probably get sent to a foster home.” You sighed. “Is that what you want?” Jess frowned. “No, not at all. I mean, no way I’m living with my parents again, but also idea the of going with strangers...” you trailed off, focusing on drawing shapes on his chest. “Move into the diner.” Jess said without no hesitation. “Jess you know I can’t-”

“Yes you can! Really (Y/N), we can talk to Luke about it.”

“Talk to me about what?” Luke stood in the doorway wearing a questioning expression. “Sorry, I was going to knock but I overheard my name.” He chuckled. “Can (Y/N) stay with us?” Jess asked. “Jess no-“

“Sure, I don’t see why not.” Luke shrugged. “I- what?” You turned to Luke in shock. “We can make that arrangement, if that’s what you want (Y/N). You’re at the diner most of the time anyways.” It was true. You always stayed over with Jess and had dates at the diner to keep your relationship discreet. “Well yes, but being a permanent occupant is completely different.” You frowned. “Hey kid, your parents are real shitty people. This is a hard time for you. I have a feeling you don’t want to end up in the foster care system, so this is one less problem to deal with.” He said.

Jess spoke up, “(Y/N), I’m okay with it, and Luke is okay with it. So why the hell not?” You felt like crying again. You practically pounced on Jess babbling a string of ‘thank you’s and peppering kisses on his face in between. He laughed heartily, rubbing your back. Luke observed with a tender smile. “Thank you Luke, really.”

“No problem kid.” He gently placed a hand on your shoulder, trying to seem as less threatening as possible. “Jess and I have to go, the staff are gonna be here any minute. But rest up okay?” You nodded. Jess really didn’t want to leave, you assured him visiting hours were long and regular. Eventually he pulled away and you shared one last kiss before he was out of sight.

#gilmore girls #bxb #jess mariano #male reader #jess mariano x male reader #jess mariano x reader #jess mariano x y/n #gilmore girls fanfiction #fanfic

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thefanbasewhore · 3 years

Text

The Weeping.

Prompt no. 4 from @wkemeup 's 9k challenge! - Character A is being held hostage. Character B offers to trade themselves in A's place.

master list || tag list

Summary || After you're taken from a mission, Bucky offers himself in order to insure your safety.

Paring || Bucky Barnes x female reader

Word count || 1,660

Warnings || abduction (kidnapping??), violence, gun-fire, mentions dead bodies and blood, angst.

Side note || clear eyes is Bucky and yours way of saying everything is okay and this is shorter then I intended it to be, I didn't have a lot of time to write it, so if it seems rushed, I'm sorry.

The mission was supposed to be simple - a quick in and out, retrieve the information and burn that place to the ground but even that seemed unattainable at the moment.

Bullets whiz through the air, penetrating the barrier of sound that make Bucky's ears ring. To anyone else it is frightening, usually follows screams of terror but it's something he lives for, the only familiar sound to stay with him constantly through the years. Adrenaline makes his body visibly tremble, chest conforming to laboring breath in order to stay quiet. Those crystal blue orbs narrowing, fine wrinkles bunch on the skin of his forehead as he nods towards you, on the opposite side of the room but still in his peripheral vision.

He nods once more - just to ensure that the hallway is clear. His heart is thumping against his chest right along with your own, fingers clenched the butt of your to bring it closer to your chest, raising it as Bucky moves in front of you with his own. The walls are splattered with red, fresh blood as you maneuver through the corpses' that lifelessly scatter the floors and the dark hallway seems almost endless, except the flickering light at the end of it. With every muffled gunshot it turns into darkness only to be unexpectedly brought to life again. "Stay low.." Bucky whispers as he follows your stance - back against the wall and a free hand reaching for the spare knife hidden in both of your boots but not before he extends his arm and fingers grasp the buckle across your chest with a gentle but meaningful pull, "Clear eyes?" "Clear eyes." Bucky nods softly as the cool vibranium finger sculpts the structure of your jaw with twinkling eyes. "Be careful in there, okay? You need anything --." He taps the shell of his ear with two fingers, and you nod in understanding. With one last glance Bucky turns towards the double doors, a hand pressing against the handle as he uses his body weight to push it open with ease and the moment he does more gunfire echoes the walls of the room. A sudden blur of motion catches his attention as his breath hitches as his arms wrap around you as bullets whiz through the air, only inches away from piercing your skin. Bucky uses the other door as cover as metal bullets ricochet. Smaller fingers clench into his flesh arm, forming indentations of small crescent moons as a means to seek cover. Bucky's arms wrap around you pulling you into his chest to shield you from any stray bullets but the heavy door behind his back is a strong enough metal to take the blunt force of the bullets without breaking through. His soothing hands find your hair, breathing heavily as he angles your face to meet his eyes. "Are you okay?" Your throat tightens at his worried expression but nods to confirm you were not hit. Bucky nods back, eyes setting in a hard line as he keeps you between his legs but peers over the threshold of the floor but a warning short from around the corner bounces off the walls. "Fuck." Bucky whispers as he reaches into the pocket of his tactical pants, but you don't need to look to see what he's got. "I'll go up the stairs, you go to the right." He pulls the pin out, rolling it into the room and waits until a thick, white cloud of smoke fills the hall, with one last nod he pulls his glasses down, fingers tapping the side as they click to life. You follow behind, gun raised in the air as you follow through sweeping the rather large room. The smoke is thick - suffocating, throat closing due to the inadequate amounts of oxygen, but you swallow the ball in the back of your throat while trying to maneuver through it, the glasses didn't help much. Footsteps cause you to jump, turning in every direction but the cloud is too thick and they near closer following along with your frantic motions to protect yourself with a mixture of anxiety and fear coarse through your veins. Something is mumbled to your right but it's too late, two rather large hands roughly grab at your hair, pulling it into a tight fist as another set of hands catch your leg - pulling into your fall onto the ground, hitting your head hard enough that dark, round dots cloud your vision. Before you could even manage to move - the cool surface of a blade touches your neck and your raise your hands in surrender as the weight of the man moves to crush your chest, face still veiled behind the white smoke. Without a word he turns you around, pressing your cheek against the floor with a rough hand as he pats down your suit, pulling the knives out with a snarl as his friend picks up your gun. 'Sweetheart, where are you?' Bucky's voice is muffled from the fact that the man's hand presses against it, but it vibrates his skin and it's yanked from your ear and crushed between two fingers. When the smoke dissipates the man brings you

to your knees, hands wrapped around your wrists with an unforgiving knee digging into your spine. "If you want her alive, come out now." A thick, foreign accent bounces off the walls of the room as the hand tightens, the other goon on your right holds your gun up as a blur moves in the corner of your eyes. Bucky's eyes meet yours in a panic as he rounds the corner, raising his gun to the man that holds your hair which only causes him to say something in a foreign language, digging the knife into your throat until it stings with pain. Every ragged breath the sharpened blade nicks the thickest column of your neck. "Let her go." Bucky hisses through clenched teeth, jaw clenching as seafoam eyes darken like the night sky. The man smiles evilly, a sick grin that reaches his eyes, makes Bucky's stomach drop inside his stomach as he twirls the knife around a dirty, unmanicured finger. "Didn't think we'd recognize you with that haircut, Soldat?" The skin of your neck burns as a yelp of pain fills the room, blood smears his fingers and invades your senses and the words make Bucky's eyes narrow, squeezing them shut at the words. The smell of smoke, gunfire and metallic make your head spin as Bucky lowers the gun to the ground, hands raised in the air. "Take me, let her go." "What use do we have for you now, Soldat? You are no longer our winter soldier; they have rid you of that." The man's sick chuckle causes him to shake his head, eyes wild with paralyzing fear. "That's not true - I feel him, he's still in here." He pauses, guilty eyes flicker to your own and back up the to man's, "Just let her go, don't hurt her." "No, no." You manage to mumble, tears stinging the waterline of your eyes as you grit your teeth in pain, he never lets the pressure of the knife go as you try to suppress a shiver. Bucky lowers his head with shame, in complete defeat as he lowers to his knees and moves the gun further away. "He's still in here. You can get him out. Take me instead of her, please." "Stop, no!" Eyes of guilt refuse to meet your own, the secret you have known all along and Bucky's urge to smother the winter solider completely blinded him from the fact that this could happen someday. It's been years since he's been so called 'freed' but some roots are so deep they can't be removed, the inside of his brain still tainted with the dark soldier who refuses to stop haunting him after all this time. "Bucky don't you fucking do it!" Bucky ignores the calls, squeezing his eyes shut with emotion. It's not fair, all those years spent brainwashed, tucked away inside his own brain just to end up there again. He barely survived the trauma then but now - he would never be able to, not without Steve, without the Wakandian's again. "Walk towards me, slowly." The other man commands as Bucky nods an understanding to stand on his feet but pauses as the knife presses into your skin more, "Let her go first." The instant the knife is gone is relief, hand reaching up to rub the burning skin and smear blood against your gloved hand and along your neck. Roughly the knee against your back pushes you from the position of on your knees to leaning against the man for support as his arm crosses against your chest, hand crushing the windpipe of your neck. "I will count to three and you both will walk, you towards me, her out the door. Got it?" With every number your heart pounds inside your chest, face turning red due to the harsh grasp at the surface of jaw as a cough follows suit, chest greedy for oxygen as he releases. Bucky takes the first step forward, edging you closer with his eyes that leave little room for argument. Close, slow steps until both yours and his arm brush against each other The fat of your bottom lip quivers as he leans forwards, hands still raise obediently in the air to press his forehead against your own. "Buck -." "Promise me, you won't come look for me." It is rushed as the men in front of him yell but inaudible as you shake your head as tears push past eyelashes. "I mean it, forget about me, they'll never stop. Okay? No

matter how much I try, they will never leave me alone." "How could you say -." There's a rough tug on his hand, pushing him forward but he uses the last second, he can spare to press one more heartbreaking kiss against your lips and before you could comprehend what coming next - a burning, red-hot pain radiates at the base of your skull and numbing darkness consumes you.

tags: @sugarpunch-princess, @old-enough-to-know-better73, @maxsaturdayhatesnarwhals, @Fajitasandfics, @devilswaldorf, @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123, @grubler, @SodDy030, @agent-catfish-kenobi,@scarletglowss, @abitchforbarnes, @xxlovingfandomsxx, @jewishdelis, @klorpski, @kaitieskidmore1, @peterpstuff, @akaaaaashiiii, @angelsandsorcery, @moony-is-bae, @yliumy, @watermelonsponge, @stolenxkissess, @peakascum, @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme, @crvecem, @likealadygodiva, @harrysthiccthighss, @burnerbitchh, @sergeantjamesbbarnes, @amelia-song-pond

#kas9kwc #wkmeup #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x reader #tfaws #sebastian stan characters

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marauderundercover · 3 years

Text

Taking Chances Ch. 11: Blast from the Past (Siblings)

AO3

Swinging side by side with her father was an amazing experience. Marinette tried hard to stifle her laughter, figuring Batman wouldn’t appreciate it if word got around that the newest vigilante was a giggler. He swings to the next roof and pauses, Marinette frowning as he listens to something on his comm.

“Alright. All hands on deck. Robin, you’ll stay on the roof with Ladybird.” He instructs, Marinette frowns. Was he really sticking her younger brother on babysitting duty? And why couldn’t she go wherever it is he’s going?

“What’s happening?” She asks, crossing her arms.

“There are several crates of weapons and a few dozen armed men in a warehouse a mile out from here. You and Robin are going to stay on the roof to make sure no one leaves before the police arrive.” He instructs before turning and grappling away. Marinette frowns, but follows behind him. Does he really not think that she can handle herself? And she knows this is going to cause problems with Damian. He already doesn’t like her and now he has to stay with her. She watches as he swoops down into the warehouse and she lands silently on the roof.

“I do not appreciate this.” Robin says, stepping out of the shadows with crossed arms. Although she can’t see his eyes behind his mask, Marinette knows he’s glaring at her. She just rolls her eyes.

“I don’t either. I don’t need someone watching me 24/7. I can take care of myself.” She says, and with a sudden jolt, she realizes this is the first time he’s willingly speaking to her. The first time they’re talking and it’s to argue. Lovely.

“If you had simply stayed away, then I would have been allowed to follow Father. Instead, I am being punished for your insolence.” He adds. Is he going to lecture her the entire time Batman and the others are fighting in the warehouse, she thinks, raising an eyebrow. She starts to snark back, but a shadow moving behind him pulls her attention instead. Narrowing her eyes, she watches as a figure steps out of the shadow, a gun raised at her.

“Well well well. What do we have here?” The man asks, a smirk on his face. Marinette glances at Robin, trying to see if he recognizes the voice. She doesn’t see any recognition, so she immediately catalogues the man as an unknown threat. Chances were that he was involved with the group currently fighting in the warehouse and not an actual Batman level villain. But he still had a gun, so she wouldn’t underestimate him. Robin turns to face the man and he immediately takes the gun off Marinette, pointing it instead at Robin’s head. Marinette narrows her eyes. She may not know him very well, but he was still her little brother. And she wasn’t about to let some stupid goon threaten him. Flicking her wrist, she aims her yoyo at the man’s gun, smirking as she manages to yank it from his grasp. She catches the gun as it flies back with her yoyo, holding it carefully and trying to ignore the internal panic. She’d never held a gun before, never wanted to or had a reason to. And she really didn’t want to hold it now, but she didn’t want the man to know that she was scared of the gun, because that would give him an advantage. She just grins at the dumbfounded look on the man’s face, his shock enough so that Robin was able to knock him down without a fight. He pulls a zip tie out of his utility belt and ties the man’s hands together.

“Well that was disappointing. I was hoping for more of a fight.” Marinette teases, hoping that the tension between her and Robin would break. She watches as his lips purse slightly, not sure what the expression meant.

“I hardly think one buffoon with a gun would be much of a fight for either of us.” He finally says, and her eyes light up. Success!

“But if it was the right foe, they could surely take you down.” A new voice says, and this time Marinette can practically feel the tension rolling off of Robin.

“Slade.” He says, obviously tensing for a fight.

“Damian. I wasn’t aware you were in possession of a Miraculous.” The man, Slade, says, turning towards her. Marinette stiffens, uncomfortable by both his words and the fact that she can’t see the man’s face because of his costume.

“I’m not in possession of anything.” He says, his jaw clenched. Marinette shifts into a defensive position, desperately wishing that she had a comm. Surely the rest of the family had heard this man’s intrusion through Robin. But she wished she could hear them. Whether it was giving information about the man or reassurance that the rest of them would be there soon, she wanted to hear them.

“Tell me, little girl, how did you stumble upon one of the most powerful pieces of magic in the universe? And why haven’t I met you before?” He asks, stepping towards them. Glaring at the man, Marinette steps forward so that she’s standing in line with Robin, unwilling to cower behind her brother.

“I don’t think we run in the same circles. And I assure you, I didn’t stumble across anything. I was chosen to wield this Miraculous.” She says, shoving false confidence in her tone when all she wanted was to grab Robin and run. Slade oozed a sense of wrongness and danger. Not a combination she wanted anywhere near her or her family.

“Mmm. Perhaps not. But we’ll never know, will we. I’m going to have to ask you for that Miraculous now, dear.” He says, her eyes narrow.

“I’m not sure if that’s worked for you in the past, but it’s not going to work today. You’re not the first creep in a mask asking for my Miraculous.” She snarks, hand twitching as she analyzes him and tries to come up with a plan. Without any warning, he lunges towards them, a sword suddenly in his grasp. Marinette jumps back, going on the defense as Robin lunges forward with his own katana. Marinette flits around both of them, throwing her yoyo at Slade every time he got too close to Robin. It was obvious the man was well trained, and it was also obvious that he had little patience for the two.

“You’ve improved, but you’re still not good enough.” He hisses, lunging towards Robin, his sword aimed at the boy’s chest. Marinette lunges towards them, shoving Robin out of the way. She shrieks in pain as Slade slides his sword into her shoulder. She can’t see the man’s face, but she can just imagine his smirk. He puts his other hand on his sword, and she just knows he’s going to twist. She can’t let that happen. So instead, she jerks back, screaming as she pulls herself off the sword. Robin launches himself at Slade once again, furiously slashing at the man. Slade lifts his sword up and Marinette flicks out her yoyo, grunting in pain as she irritates her shoulder. But she’s able to wrap her yoyo around the man’s wrist. Smirking, she tugs roughly, pulling the man off balance enough so that Robin can disarm him. Just as she lets her shoulders relax, Slade yanks his arm, tugging her to him. She yelps in pain as he wraps her into a chokehold. Staring at Robin, she tries not to panic. They’re gonna come for them, right? The rest of her family? Surely they’ve beaten those goons by now. They definitely heard the problem on the roof through Robin’s comm, right?

“Unhand her.” Robin says, shifting his position now that he has two swords.

“I don’t think I will. Not for free, anyway. You want her alive for some reason.” Slade says, tightening his hold. Marinette lets out a choked breath, desperately trying to pull in enough oxygen.

“What do you want?” Robin asks, Marinette tries to shake her head, already guessing what the man wants. She’d rather die than give some psycho the power of Tikki. Not only could he destroy the world, but Paris would also be lost without the Miraculous Cure.

“Her earrings. Let me take them, and I’ll let her live….this time.” He says.

“No….don’t...not..worth it.” Marinette manages to say, just barely able to shake her head. She gags as Slade tightens his grip again, black spots dotting her vision.

“Ladybird-” Robin says, and Marinette is certain she’s hallucinating now. Because he almost sounds pained.

“Don’t.” She begs, fighting to stay conscious. As she watches him, she sees a smirk make its way onto his face. That’s good. Good. Smirking brother means….what does it mean? She’s not sure. All she knows is that suddenly, the pressure on her neck is gone. She falls to her knees, gasping for breath and wincing at the burning in her shoulder. Too much. Too much all at once. A hand on her good shoulder shakes her from her thoughts and she weakly hits at it.

“Ladybird, it’s me.” A voice says. She blinks, opening her eyes, wincing at the pain enveloping her. Looking closer at the figure, she sighs in relief, letting herself slump down. She’s safe. Arms pick her up gently and she smiles softly, tiredness hitting her as the adrenaline finally fades. Curling in closer, she mumbles into Batman’s chest.

“Thanks dad.”

---

Bruce Wayne was pissed. And the only person who could piss him off so much was himself. He’d left Damian and Marinette on the roof alone because he thought they’d be safer. He didn’t think the two would be able to get into any trouble up there. Of course he would be wrong. Of course Slade Wilson would choose tonight to come after Damian. And of course the man just had to know about the Miraculous.

Hearing his daughter’s pained screams over his son’s comm would haunt his nightmares. It’d likely become the unholy symphony over the images of Jason’s broken body and Damian’s limp form. Images that’d haunted him for years and would continue to do so until he dies. When he was young, his nightmares were just of his parents. But he had seen things much worse since becoming a father. And now he’d heard much worse. Shaking his head, he tries hard to hold onto the one bright part of the evening.

Marinette had called him dad.

It was the first time she’d called him anything other than ‘Mr. Wayne’. His heart warmed at the thought, but everything came crashing down again when he remembered. Slade Wilson was gone. He’d managed to get away while his focus was on Marinette’s wellbeing. Which means his daughter was now in even more danger. Damian had informed him of the man’s obsession with the Miraculous. It was something they’d need to talk about, but not tonight. After she passed out in his arms, he brought her back to the manor. Alfred stitched her shoulder, and Bruce brought her to her room. It wasn’t decorated yet, but he’d made sure to pick out a room for her after finding out about her. Even if she didn’t want anything to do with them after this, she’d always have a room here.

Sighing, Bruce sticks his head into Marinette’s room, just to reassure himself that she was there. That she was safe. It was something he did with each of his kids, every time they were injured. Every time he was afraid that he would lose them. The sight in front of him makes him pause and pull out his phone to take a picture. They might be mad at him for it later, but he’d curse himself forever if he let this moment slip away. All of his children were piled in Marinette’s room. The girl herself was on the bed, curled into a ball despite her injured shoulder. At the foot of her bed was Damian, his face peaceful for once. Jason, Dick and Tim were all in a pile on the floor, pillows and blankets scattered both beneath them and on top of them. They were an impossibly tangled pile of limbs, guarding their youngest sister. He smiles softly, eyes finally falling on Cass curled up in an armchair that she must’ve pulled next to Marinette’s bed. Satisfied that all were well, Bruce shuts the door gently, not wanting to risk waking any of them.

His children were together, and safe. For now.

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danielxricciardo · 3 years

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Can you do one with Max, with 46 and 55 from angst list?

Summary: You are suffering from depression and Max tries to be by your side

Warnings: angst, swearing, mentions of suicide, depression

Word count: 3.6k+

46. “I’ll leave, and the world will move on. I just wish I could see it. See how much better everything is when I’m gone.”

55. “You’re good at finding things. Find me a reason to stay.”

Depression feels like a lot of things.

It feels like sadness, which is what everyone will tell you. It's a pretty common thread.

"I'm worthless."

"Everyone thinks I'm a horrible burden."

So on and so forth.

Everyone in the world is happy but you, and in the end, you are a worthless piece of shit that doesn't belong in this otherwise glorious and happy place. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and you are lying there on your bed in the same unlaundered pair of pajamas, wondering why you are even allowed to keep living any longer. Some meteor strikes or lightning bolts should be reserved for people like you because you are taking up space and oxygen and food and other resources that real, happy, productive people need.

It feels like emptiness. You have all these possibilities and none of them seem interesting. You could do some art, or play some music, but that just doesn't feel right. There's no joy in it. You could have sex with your significant other, but you can't muster up the desire. You could play video games, or read a book. But what's the point? There's no real benefit to all of it but passing the time. You could get up and make lunch. But no, you're not that hungry, and if you close your eyes, time will pass a little faster. You can lie there. That works. It doesn't require active effort to do something fruitless. Everything is as empty and fruitless as lying and staring out your window at the clouds and the shifting shadows of tree branches, and so why do anything else?

It feels like fatigue. Standing up out of your bed requires the same amount of bodily effort as climbing several flights of stairs. Managing to get dressed and walk outside is like running a race. Heaven helps you if you try to go to the store or a friend's house -- that may as well be on the other side of the continent. Every step is heavy. Every muscle motion requires ten times the work it used to. Exercise becomes difficult, and control over your body expires quickly. You become clumsier, so heavy lifting is right out. You daze out randomly, daydreaming, even dozing, so biking or running is hard. You feel most at home when you are entirely relaxed, so you lie down...and don't get up again until something like your bladder compels you.

It feels like a loss of control. You have no idea why your brain and body are doing this. You don't want to feel sad. Nobody wants to feel shitty and tired and empty all the time. People will look at you and say, "It's like you don't want to get better." Those people are idiots. You truly, deeply, from the bottom of your soul, have no idea why this has happened or what to do. It's not logical. It makes no sense. You woke up like this, or it crept in overtime or something like that. It's like a fog, a force of nature that sweeps in, occludes everything, and there's not one thing you can do about it from where you stand. Trying feels like taking a paper fan outside and trying to blow away the morning mist. Someone has tied puppet strings to your brain and is playing this hideous dance with it, and you don't have the scissors to cut them away. The dance doesn't make sense; it's arbitrary and rhythmless. If you had any sort of reasoning behind it, you could take control. But you don't.

It feels like desperation. You can't find a way out. You lie there at night, keening into your pillow like a wounded animal, making all sorts of noises that no human being should be able to make. You claw and scratch at the sheets, or at yourself, as the pain wrings itself out through bodily expression. The tears won't stop. You don't know why. All you know is that it hurts, it really and truly hurts, and you think if it goes on any longer, you're going to die. Right there. Bleed out on the floor. So you grab up your phone, and you call someone at 4 AM, and you beg them to please just make it stop. You bury yourself in books and movies because at least then you can imagine something else than yourself. You read nonstop. You have to have your fix. It's like an addiction, no, more like a life support machine. Otherworlds, fantasies of happiness, and real experiences that aren't your horrible existence become the iron lung keeping air flowing in and out. You are alive because you can stop thinking for a while. Your friends come over to comfort you. Their stories keep you sane and well, like dialysis for all the toxins in you. Your mind has failed at being independent, and now it relies on a thousand little machines to keep itself running. You rely on one machine until another comes to save you. You read books until your friends come by. You stretch out your time with friends until you have to bury yourself in a movie again just to keep the thought of real-life away.

It feels like untamed anger. Your friends can't keep this up forever. You fall further and further, and you eventually start dropping commitments. You have become That Person, the flake that everyone knows will back out. People start getting annoyed at you, annoyed at how they have to spend so much time just keeping you afloat, annoyed at how often you're causing them trouble by constantly disappearing and backing out of appointments, and so on. Your workplace gets annoyed at your lack of productivity. And then you can't take it anymore, and you want to scream at them, grab them by the throat and shake them because IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT! You start having twisted fantasies, the ones where you walk up to that person who keeps telling you he can't do this anymore, you're just too unreliable, putting a gun to your head and pulling the trigger. Just to make him know, for once, that FUCK HIM, your problems are REAL, DAMMIT, REAL, and he better FUCKING RESPECT that. And when you're gone, he'll fall to his knees and cry, and he'll say, he wishes he had understood, that he didn't mean to be so unkind, and the scar on his heart from his own failure will remain fresh and knotted for eternity. And then you shake yourself out of the daydream, and you wonder why you have turned into such a horrible person, someone who even considers ending their own life just to spite another human being. Then it creeps back in, the knowledge that the world is getting fed up with you...and the cycle begins again. You start thriving off these daydreams, because at the very least if you can't be happy, you can throw caution to the wind and get the petty, oddly satisfying revenge buried under all those layers of morality that are becoming worn and flaking away. It's just a fantasy, right? And it helps pass the time...

It feels like forever. You have forgotten what it's like to truly be joyful. You can imagine it, but it's not really you in those thoughts. This is who you are. This is your life. This is you.

It feels like you have only one thing truly under your power: your existence. You cannot choose what life throws at you. Your brain and body have betrayed you. Your friends have worn away, and you've fled from your job and any commitments you have.

It feels empowering. You can jump whenever you want.

But he accepted you the way you are. He never reproached you for negatively influencing his mentality or life, even though you knew he felt it too. He always listened to you, he was with you even at 2 in the morning when you were crying on the bathroom floor with your knees to your chest, and you knew it wasn't right. It wasn't right for him to go through, basically, what you were going through. But no matter how much you told him you could do it without his help, Max was coming back more insistently than ever.

He came up with the idea to start therapy. "You have to find out why you feel this way. Go at least once, see how it is, if you don't like it or feel that it doesn't help you, you will give up, okay?" That was a year and a half ago.

The psychologist gave you a diagnosis from the first session: Major Depressive Disorder. Sure you knew what the three words meant, but you didn't know what it meant to have a label on your condition.

"A major depressive disorder is characterized by one or more of these depressive episodes. the diagnosis of major depressive disorder requires depressed mood or anhedonia which is the loss of interest in pleasure and five or more signs or symptoms for the SIGECAPS mnemonic for a 2-week period. (SIGECAPS) Sleep Disturbance, loss of Interest, feeling Guilty, feeling fatigued and low in Energy, having decreased Concentration, decreased or increased Appetite and been agitated and slow and having Suicidal ideation."

It sounds incredible to you. Suicidal thoughts? Not everyone has a thought, somewhere, behind their mind 'What if I disappeared?'

You were prescribed Prozac and Zoloft and it helped. You weren't always sad anymore, you could go to the races with Max and support him as a normal girlfriend does. You apologized to my friends who tried to help me and whose lives you made impossible and you managed to get back to work, from home anyway. Sure, you still had moments when you felt like you weren't 100% yourself but not like before. You did therapy twice a week and the psychologist was happy with your evolution.

But being the stupid ass that you are, you stopped taking the medication. You took the last pill on Friday. Because you were fine. You felt ok, everyone around you told you you were better, you were doing amazing, so you were cured, right? Or so you thought. Saturday was normal. Sunday was not. Your mood and energy were very low. You woke up at like 2 in the afternoon. That is not unusual for you. You’re used to it. You were sad. You were exhausted. You knew that feeling like this was “no excuse” so you tried to force yourself to do it anyway. Typical of your life. You feel like you had already taken so much off work because of the triple-header, you were for three weeks attached to the hips with Max.

The only thing you thought of was dying. And that terrified you. And Max senses something was wrong. But he didn't want to tell something and ending up being wrong and you being upset by his misinterpretation. But, yes, he sensed that you were becoming your old self.

"Hey, babe," he snapped you out of your daydreaming. A tragic one, where you were finally at peace and Max was crying for you. You were on the verge of crying yourself at the mere image of Max in your head. But you pushed it far from your mind, somewhere in a dark corner for you to find it at an appropriate time to fantasize about your dying. "How about we go to a picnic? It's sunny outside."

Yes, the wheater was amazing. It was finally summer and you could go outside and spend some time with Max. But your brain literally is tricking you into thinking you don't deserve to enjoy the sunny day. Why? You don't have an answer.

"I'm not really in the mood, Max. Sorry."

You are not in the mood. That was his affirmation. You are not ok.

"You feeling good?"

"Yeah. Just tired I guess."

"But you just woke up."

You shrugged. He was right. You just woke up, so why do you feel like you were carrying a ton of bricks on your shoulders? You couldn't walk. You almost felt like 18 months ago. And that is when it hit you. And Max, at the same time.

"Still taking your meds, I hope."

Silence. Your mind was like overcrowded and you couldn’t take it anymore. You grabbed your head and pulled your hair because you wanted it to stop. You were thinking that you didn’t know what to think. You didn’t know how to think. You didn’t know how you felt. You were like anxious-depressed-angry-miserable-irritable all in one. Your head was spinning with thoughts. Thoughts were talking over thoughts. So fast that you couldn’t even make out one complete sentence. It was just too much for you to handle. You just wanted someone to kill you.

Max came to you and he hugged you so hard you thought he could crush your bones right there and then. You calmed down eventually. But now you were embarrassed. Because Max saw you, again, at your lowest. Because you promised you'll get better, and for a while, you were better, but now you are fucked and back into square one. All those money on therapy and your pills, for what? For you to stop taking them because you thought you were feeling better? Well, you definitely were not ok, nor you'll be. So, yeah, being fucked sounded good.

Max brought you the medicine and a glass of water. Taking the pills again? For what? The pills only fuel the feeling that everything is fine and that you are a normal person. Nothing was good and you were not a normal person.

But you took the pills. And you looked Max in the eyes and you wanted to die. He seemed crushed. He was sad, devastated, maybe angry but definitely disappointed. In you. Because maybe you don't realize this, but while you were doing good, he was doing great. He knew you could be on your own so he stopped worrying that much, and that could also be seen in his driving. He was winning more races, he was at his best and now he was at his lowest. Because you were at your lowest; co-dependency and shit.

"I'm sorry, baby. I thought I was doing well enough to stop taking the meds," you say in a broken voice but the tears are yet to appear. He stroked your hair and kissed you on your forehead.

"You should have told me. You don't have to go thru this alone. I am here."

"Yeah, you are here. But you don't have to be!" you snapped. Irritability, one thing your depression came with. "I am just a burden for you. And no, this does not come from the fact I stopped taking my pills. You took care of me like I was a child, and, fuck it, you don't deserve this."

"Stop talking like this, alright? If I would suffer from depression you would have done the same thing. You would have taken care of me. Or am I wrong?"

"You are not wrong. To be honest, I don't think I would be here if it wasn't for you, but I don't want you to be. It's obvious that I would never get better. This is me. I am fucked in the head, half wishing I was dead and I am just bringing you down."

"Don't tell me this is a fucking break up, Y/N." he narrows his brows and looks at your features to make sure you were being serious.

“I’ll leave, and the world will move on. I just wish I could see it. See how much better everything is when I’m gone.”

"What the fuck are you talking about? Is this a break-up or a suicidal vocal note?"

You broke down. Crying can be cathartic and healthy, but if it goes on too long it can lock your body in a feeling of despair. Even if your mind works through the problem that caused the crying, because your body is still feeling the physical effects it will cause your mind to revert to the negative state. It's not sadness. It's dread and paralysis. You had a certain feeling of emptiness and purposelessness.

“You’re good at finding things. Find me a reason to stay,” you say between sobs.

"You want me to find you a reason to stay alive or to stay in this relationship? To be frank, I can name a thousand reasons, but it all depends on you."

Max hugs you from behind and you lay your head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat that was stronger than ever. You allowed yourself to inhale Max's scent, a soothing scent you could get drunk on.

"I want to believe you love me. I mean, I love you and I consider you the love of my life, you know? We are so young and I know it doesn't feel like it, but I promise you, I'm gonna marry you someday, even if right now you don't think you're gonna make it till tomorrow. So, yeah, this is reason number one," he said and pressed a kiss to your cheek. "This is not the worst you have been through in life. Remember where you were 18 months ago; you had no idea what was wrong with you. Now you know and you know you can be better. I know you get sick of those pills, but maybe, in the future, you won't need them. Isn't that exciting? This was reason number two," he said and pressed another kiss to your cheek. He was going to do that every time he would give you a reason. "Have you been to all the beautiful places around the world? Sure, you came to a few Grand Prix, but you never saw Great Ocean Road in Australia, you know Daniel promised he would take us there someday. You never saw Pamukkale in Turkey or Japan in Cherry Blossom season or the Blue Lagoon in Iceland. There are many places you need to visit, baby. So, yeah, this was reason number three. I don't know if you want me to continue but I can give you one more reason. Reason number four. Do it for you, baby. You deserve to live and be happy. I know you can be happy and I promise you I will do my best to help you. You just have to take it one step at a time. You just have to let me in. Let me help you, baby."

You turn around, facing him now. You loved him, with all of your heart. You love him for who he is. You love him because he literally came into your life as your lifeline. You love him because he helped you crawl up the deep bottomless abyss of depression. You love him because he had the patience and the audacity to bear with your depression, anxiety, and panic attacks, your phobias, your mood swings, your temperamental and short-tempered nature, your overthinking, your being overprotectiveness, and possessiveness. You love him because never once he thought of giving up on you in your hard times. You love him because he stands by you like a rock of unwavering support and he’s someone you can fall back on. You love him because he listens to you talking non-stop about your past, your pains, your fears, and your losses without complaining even once. You love him because he rediscovered you and helped you find yourself again when you were lost in darkness. You love him because he filled you with confidence and hope and strength and belief and determination. You love him because he believes you are the best when you set your mind on something and no one can stop you from achieving your goals. You love him because he is protective, caring, understanding, loving, and easy to be with while never being too suffocating or taking up your space. You love him because sooner or later he does everything you ask of him and does with his whole attention. You love him because whatever endeavor he engages in, he likes to give his 100% and hates doing half-hearted things. You love him because he can decode the nuances in your voice and judge your mood just perfectly. You love him because he read you like an open book and he can hear your silence. You love him because he never doubts your loyalty, your intentions, your hard work, and your million issues. You love him because no matter how busy he might get he never forgets that you are waiting for his message or his call. You love him because he keeps you in his priorities. You love him because he gave you a passion you never knew you had. You love him because he very strongly believes that you deserve the best of everything. You love him because he is empathic, kind, magnanimous, thoughtful, and down to Earth. You love him because he has eyes for no one but you. You love him because he wants to see you healthy, wealthy, prosperous, famous and he wants you to hold back at nothing, for no one, he wants you to be a Go-Getter. And most importantly you love him because no one ever loved you like he did.

"I will let you in," you say and you kiss him hard. "I'm sorry for the scene I caused."

"Don't be. It happens."

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