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blackswan446 · 1 month

Note

Hello Evieee!, im new to your blog but i already read lifetime and thief and i really like it. Can I request part 2 of lifetime where oc tries to escape and get punished by jungkook and then oc tries to be obedient then wants to request something that makes jungkook hesistant to consider? ☺️ thank you 💗

lifetime || two.

→ pairing: yan!jjk x reader

→ synopsis: we live for so many years, why not make them the happiest you can?

→ wc: 3584

→ cws: manipulation, guilttripping, murder, implied dub-con

→ notes: originally wasn't planning to do a part two on this cus i didn't have any ideas for what could be next, but this ask sparked inspiration so i'm really excited :)) thank you for asking!! <3 also the ending kind of suggests a part 3 and i have an idea for it but i dunno when it'll come out sooo

part one || m.list

the last three months seemingly dragged by like years. every second felt like a minute, and every minute felt like an hour. you were like a bird, skittish and anxious to escape the cage they had been locked in by a cruel captor.

to any outsider, your misery would come off as nothing but ingratitude and paint you as a finicky, spoiled brat. and honestly, you couldn't blame them for it. because anyone who peered through the tall glass windows of the luxurious mansion was bound to see just that--luxury. all they would see is the glass chandelier, the marble counters, and the endless indicators of money and class.

what they wouldn't see is the basement. the dark, damp, cold basement that you lived in--not physically, but mentally. you were trapped in this imaginary basement, and as much as you tried to claw at the concrete walls, and bang on the metal door, you couldn't escape it, not if you dedicated your entire life to it.

aside from the obvious, your life was perfect, at least by society's standards. you had everything you ever wanted and could get anything else you wanted at the drop of a hat. nice clothes, expensive jewelry, high-end makeup, flashy accessories. but you never really used them, since you didn't exactly leave the house, unless if it was time for you to play dress at one of jungkook's fancy work events, and cling onto his arm, following him around the whole night, your youth and beauty grabbing the attention of his rich business associates and peers, while you hoped that the pleading look in your eyes would alert the otherwise-blind millionaires to your distress.

since you didn't leave the house much, jungkook thought ahead and considered the inevitable boredom you would face. he stocked the house with as many hobby supplies as he could get his hands on. art, baking, reading, you name it, it's there. and anything that wasn't there would show up a mere hour after you requested it. not that you ever did, but jungkook practically bent over backwards to sweeten the pot for you, to put the rose colored glasses over your eyes and prove that being there with him was a good thing.

but none of this changed the fact that you were miserable. you missed the outside, you missed your life. you missed your achievements and the payoff of your hard work, which proved to do nothing for you inside of the prison you were trapped in. you missed the serenity of your street and the walk to your favorite coffee shop. you missed being human. physically you were a human, of course, but in your eyes, you felt as if you were nothing more than a shell, who didn't feel the pain of everyday problems and the joy of solving those problems. as much as you complained about them before, you would give anything to get out and feel those emotions again.

but after months of sulking, you finally had a plan. jungkook had placed security around the house--partly for his own protection and the safety of his house, and partly to keep you from getting out. you had never spoken to them, and they never spoke to you. but today, this would change. stuffing as many shiny jewels, expensive shoes, and silky dresses into the biggest and most expensive handbag you had in your closet, you put on a pair of basic shoes and the only black jacket you could find.

exiting the closet, you descended the grand stairs and looked around for the guard. not just any one in specific, but the one that stood by the front door. you needed to talk to this one only, it was crucial that you extended this offer to him and only him. why? you had overheard him talking in a hushed voice with a fellow guard, practically erupting with envy and awe at the house he found himself in. you knew he would fold immediately at what you had to offer and not say a word about it, which is why it was so important for you to talk to him.

you spotted him, in his usual spot by the door, staring straight forward with a blank look on his face. you took a deep breath, and approached him, and as you did, he shifted to stand more in front of the door. "do you need something?" he asked you. you looked around quickly, checking for any other witnesses before you began to speak.

"please, i need to get out of here. you need to let me leave." you pleaded quietly. the man shook his head. "no can do. i'm sorry." he said coldly, not even bothering to look at you. sighing, you held up the expensive handbag at rested at your side, and opened it to reveal the mess of jewels and fabric you that hid inside. "please," you repeated, "just let me out, and it's all yours. this, and whatever else you can grab from the closet before he comes home."

he peered into the bag, and he didn't need to say anything for you to know what he was thinking. but he didn't let up. shaking his head again, he returned his attention back to the house in front of him. you sighed in frustration. "please, i can't stay here anymore. you can tell him i jumped out of a window. you're not allowed to go up there anyways, right? you won't get blamed. besides, you can sell all this stuff, or give it to your wife, or-"

you were interrupted when the guard abruptly reached out and yanked the handbag from your trembling hands, holding it behind his tall figure. he didn't look down again, or say anything, but instead he stepped sideways, revealing the knob to the front door and the surprisingly simple latch that unlocked it. you laughed, out of relief and partial disbelief. the relief, though, was kind, and warm, and it washed over your mind like water and undid the tense knots in your body.

it was also very brief.

in that moment, the exact moment that you had regained your sweet freedom, one set of footsteps managed to make it crash down around you. "princess, is that you?" jungkook called, swiftly entering the foyer where you and the guard stood, caught red-handed in your scheme. you whipped around quickly, perhaps a bit too quickly, and your guilty eyes met his suspicious ones. "what's going on here?..." he trailed off, taking in the sight of you in tennis shoes and a jacket, and the guard holding a very familiar, very expensive handbag behind his back.

inhaling deeply, an eerie calm took over the man, his earlier confusion evaporating as he put the pieces together. you swallowed thickly, heartbeat deafening in your ears as he looked back and forth between the two of you. without a word, he grabbed you by the bicep and yanked you closer to him, the clean soles of your sneakers squeaking on the shiny floor. he then stuck his hand out towards the guard, fingers open as he shamefully returned the bag. "i deeply apologize, sir. i was wro-"

"stay here, mr. ahn. i'd like to have a word with you later." jungkook said coldly, turning on his heel to ascend the stairs behind him, dragging you with him. you glanced down from the top of the stairs at mr. ahn, who wore a look that could only be described as pure terror. he knew what was next for him, he knew that he had messed up beyond repair.

leading you down the maze of hallways and identical doors, jungkook finally stopped at a new one, and also the biggest one you had seen, which was obviously his own room. shoving you forwards towards the bed, which was on the other side of the grand room, he pushed you down to sit on the edge of the bed and went to shut and lock the door behind him. it wasn't until he had returned, and took a seat next to your shaky figure, that he spoke.

"i'm not mad, princess." he said calmly, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. "i'm just confused. why would you try and escape? what were you thinking?" he asked himself, scoffing in annoyance. "are you really that unhappy?"

you turned your head to him, slowly, and stared at him in utter disbelief. "i mean, i knew you would need time to adjust. but running away from me? after everything i've done for you?" he continued, shaking his head. "why did you do it, angel? just tell me. why'd you try and leave me?"

"because this place is a prison. you kidnap me, and take me away from everything i've ever loved, and lock me in this cage, and try to distract me with all these fancy clothes that i can't even wear to anywhere, and give me these stupid ass baking pans, and art canvases, just to try and dumb me down, and make me forget what you did to me! so you tell me, jungkook. why do you think i tried to run away?" you exploded, giving him a nasty glare as he nodded slowly, in a way that made him look more amused than anything.

"is that what you think it is? a prison? after everything i've done for you. the money i've spent. the blood that has been shed, the dirty blood of that whore, that i watched pour from her head after i hit her. i do all of that just for you, and this is how you repay me?" he seethed. "honestly, [name], i'm hurt. i thought you would be happier here, but apparently, i was wrong." he said, the white-hot tone of his voice now gone and replaced by a remorseful murmur. your glimmer of hope shined through once again at the idea you thought he was suggesting.

"i know i shouldn't be mad at you. it's all my fault that you're so unhappy here. all alone, all day long. it must be awful. you must be so lonely." he said quietly, fiddling with his hands as he stared down at his shoes. "i'm so sorry, [name]." you didn't respond to his apology, and you let it bounce off your heart and onto the floor in front of you. "i'm going to do so much better. okay? i know what i can do!" he smiled, a wicked idea forming in his mind. "i can change my position at work, and instead of going there everyday, i can do my work here, and stay home with you!" he exclaimed, smiling proudly at his new plan. your heart sunk to the floor at his words. the last thing you needed was jungkook sticking around here with you all day long.

you shook your head. "no, jungkook. you don't-you don't need to do that." he waved his hands in denial. "nope," he vetoed, "it's decided. i'm telling everybody tonight. trust me, princess, this is for the best." he sighed contentedly, before his voice got low and serious. he stood up from his spot next to you, and stood right in front of you. "now, we may have solved the problem, but we still need to address what happened earlier. what you did isn't okay, angel. it was rude, and stupid, and it hurt me a lot. how do you think that makes me feel as a provider? as someone who loves you? honestly, [name], do you enjoy hurting people like that?" he asked.

though you had tried to resist it, the dagger of guilt had managed to stab you, right in the gut. jungkook sounded hurt, and the way he put things made you feel like a total piece of shit. you shook your head again. "but, you're not the only one who did something wrong. mr. ahn's actions told me all i need to know about his loyalty and how much he cares about his job. so the only right thing to do now is punish those who were wrong. that sounds fair, doesn't it?" he asked innocently. you nodded, stomach sinking at the direction this was going in. "use your words." he commanded, putting a firm hand on your shoulder. "yes, that sounds fair." you whispered weakly.

"now, there are...a few ways...i could punish you right now. but you're not the only one who messed up. and besides, i think those other ways would be better reserved for when we're home together. yeah?" he joked, the smirk potent in his sweet voice. "so here's what we'll do. mr. ahn was unloyal to me. he didn't do what i asked him to, and i don't go for that. but, i'm going to leave it up to you,"

"should i go and kill mr. ahn right now, or,"

you shook your head frantically. "jungkook, no. please, don't. it's my fault, okay? i'm sorry." you pleaded. he nodded. "yeah, princess, it is your fault. and now, you're paying the price. so, i could go and kill him right now, or,

i could burn down this entire house with everybody in it, including us."

your stomach lurched at the sick words that fell from his mouth so easily. tears brimmed your eyes, blurring the glow of the chandelier above you into a mess of golden light and black suit fabric as you looked up in disbelief. it felt like every organ in your body somehow stopped working and kicked into overdrive all at once. "please, jungkook. you don't have to kill anybody. please, i'm sorry. it's my fault. just do whatever you said earlier to me. please, don't hurt anybody else." you choked out, cheeks slick with tears.

he shook his head. "those are the only two options for you, princess. i like your enthusiasm, though. so what'll it be? kill one man who deserves it, or bring down ten other innocent people, including yourself?" he probed, pushing your jaw up to look at him. "now, [name], or i'll choose for you." he warned.

"the first one!" you spat. "now, which one was that? don't be shy, princess, i want to hear that sweet voice of yours." he teased, smirking at your distress. "kill mr. ahn." you said weakly, your blurry vision just able to make out the smug grin on jungkook's face. he shrugged nonchalantly, dropping your jaw from his hands and letting it fall as you laid your head in your hands, barely biting back uncontrollable, heaving sobs. "if you say so."

he left, strides long and shoulders back, and the seconds once again felt like hours as you were left alone in the unbearable silence. though you preferred deafening silence over what was next. the yelps of pain, the pleas, and the deafening sound of bones cracking and bloody knuckles meeting bruised flesh. even from a floor away, you could hear the atrocity from the bedroom. you clasped your hands over your ears, hoping the blockage and the sound of your own crying would mute the tortuous sounds.

after a disturbingly short amount of time, you heard the thrashing and struggling grind to a stop. taking your shaky hands away from your red ears, you pulled them close to your chest, crinkling back into a fetal position on the bed as your wails echoed off the walls of the bedroom. tears flooded from your eyes, onto the fabric of the comforter and into your hair, and only got worse as you heard the sound of dreaded footsteps drawing closer to the bedroom.

as you wallowed in the pits of hellish guilt, you made a promise, to both yourself and to everybody else that stood in the unpredictable path of jungkook's rage and violence.

this was never going to happen again.

❀⊱ ═════════════════ ⋆★⋆ ═════════════════ ⊰❀

this time, you were confident. there was no way your plan could go wrong. this was your guaranteed ticket to freedom.

you spent months being obedient. conforming yourself to be the perfect one for him. ever since that horrific day, when an innocent man died because of your careless decision, you committed yourself to the mission of making sure something like that never, ever happened again, not if you could help it.

so you listened. you let him say whatever he wanted, do whatever he wanted. you were more than just his ragdoll, though, you played along. you smiled at him sweetly, and listened to his words, and told him you loved him with a kiss on the cheek every night before sleeping.

of course, it made you sick. knowing the hands that grabbed your waist and played with your hair and made you dinner and everything in between were the same ones that brutally ended the life of innocent people made your stomach twist in ways it never had before, and you hated it.

every night, you felt so marked, so unpure, so dirty. like the blood that he washed down the drain like nothing that day had stayed on his hands and left smudgy, sticky handprints all over you. but maybe, just maybe, your trying days and sleepless nights would finally pay off.

knocking softly on the wooden door, you didn't need to wait for jungkook to respond before you opened the door. looking up, he smiled happily as he saw you come towards him. "there you are, princess!" he greeted, closing his laptop as you smiled back at him. you greeted him quietly as you shut the door behind you. "come sit, darling." he beckoned, tapping his lap as he pushed his chair out, "i missed you today."

you obliged, a sharp tinge of disgust striking through your heart as you straddled his lap, resting your chin on his shoulder. he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him and sighing deeply. "how was your day? do anything interesting? i wish i could've stayed with you today." he said wistfully, rubbing his hands up and down your back gently.

you shook your head. "not really. it was good, though." you replied. sitting back, you met his eyes, the hesitated look on your face acting as the dangling carrot in front of the hungry rabbit. "what is it, sweetheart? you look sad."

you shrugged. "oh, i don't know. it's kind of silly. don't worry about it." you chuckled, fiddling with your fingers as you spoke. eyebrows knitting together, jungkook shook his head. "no it's not, baby. tell me what's going on." he probed. for a second, just a split second, your mind began to wander into the waters of uncertainty.

"come on, you know i like to hear your sweet voice."

your heart lurched at the sentence, one that was forever stuck in your mind as a painful reminder of that awful day. suddenly, the uncertainty was gone, replaced by an urgent sense of eagerness and determination.

"i just miss my old life." you admitted. "i was just...so proud of everything that i made for myself. not that i don't like it here with you, but i miss my routine. i miss going to the store, and getting my coffee, and walking through my neighborhood. it took me a long time to finally gain happiness, and i wish i could've held onto that for a little longer." you said sadly, eyes welling up at the memories of the life you once cherished.

jungkook nodded slowly. he stayed silent, but you could see the wheels turning in his head as he considered your confession. "and, i was kind of wondering, if..." you sighed shakily, "if it'd be okay for me to go out? just for the day, sometimes. and i'd come back here every night. i would just want to go back to my apartment, and get my old clothes, and have another one of my favorite drinks, and visit the old park i used to walk at."

looking back into his eyes, you were met with his own eyes being focused on the floor. he had a thoughtful expression, and the oh-so sweet glimmer of hope that had been extinguished for so long finally regained its spark. he stayed like that for a while, as if he were picturing everything you just said and everything that could go wrong.

"i'll think about it."

your eyes widened, eyebrows raising and the corners of your mouth curling upwards. "really?!" you exulted, sitting up in his lap. he smiled and nodded again. "yeah, really. you've been a good girl, i think you deserve a reward." he grinned. "thank you, thank you!" you cheered, wrapping your arms around his neck in a tight hug and kissing his cheek.

"of course, darling. anything for you." he beamed. "why don't you go to the kitchen and have someone start on dinner? i just have one more call to make, and then i'm all yours. sound good?" he hummed. you nodded happily, hopping off his lap and bubbling out of the office.

it worked, it worked so well! the glow of freedom was so close, you could practically feel its warmth absorb into your skin as you skipped downstairs. everything seemed brighter now; the lights illuminated the room in a different way, the vases of flowers were more vibrant, and your soul felt like it was shining more than it had in months.

if only you knew the storm cloud that was headed your way.

#bts #bts fanfiction #bts x reader #yandere bts #yandere bts x reader #yandere jungkook x reader #yandere jungkook #jungkook x reader #bts fanfic #yandere #yandere jeongguk #jeongguk x reader #jeon jungkook x reader #asks

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erikatsu · 9 months

Text

even when i'm not with you — blade

cw: gn!reader. hurt/some comfort(?). heavily implied depressive episode (reader). i am 100% projecting, idc. reader has hair long enough to play with. unedited. probably ooc blade.

note: i wasn't gonna post this, but i think we can all use the reminder that its okay to not be okay. aka i feel as if im bearing my soul rn LMAO.

BLADE is not a man of many words. he didn't enjoy meaningless small talk or even elaborate conversation. he simply preferred silence, unless you were the one doing the talking. and just as much, he hated it when you were silent. when you weren't going on about your newest interest or current hobbies, he knew something was wrong.

it wasn't like you to not greet him when he got back to hq, to not smile at him when he'd kiss the top of your head in response. silver wolf had mentioned you didn't seem to be your usual self, but he didn't realize how bad it was until he walked into the room you both shared. at first he thought you were sleeping, possibly due to the assignment you and silver wolf had been assigned to with sam while he was on the xianzhou. but when he sat down and leaned in to kiss your cheek, he realized you were awake and that you were just... staring at the wall.

he was worried before, and now he was also filled with guilt. it was not new to him, as you had your bad days– just like he did. he just hated he wasn't around to help you before it progressed into this. blade frowned, kicking off his shoes before laying down beside you. he pulled you into him, tucking you into his chest and holding you tight.

your lower lip quivered at his embrace, your eyes closing upon feeling the burning of tears that were threatening to spill. and as soon as he whispered, "it's okay, i'm here now", you couldn't hold them back. they fell down your cheeks, leaving glistening trails along your skin before they dripped onto his shirt.

at least you weren't numb yet.

you tried to reign in your emotions, but unfortunately he could tell by the way you were breathing that you were crying. he shushed you, pressing his lips against your hair before he played with the ends, "it's okay, let it out. don't keep it in."

but you didn't want to. you were sick of this feeling, and you were sick of getting into your own head. you had no reason to be this sad, or to feel sorry for yourself. yet... that thought could not break the chains that were tied around your ankles– keeping you shackled and nearly drowning within the depths of your own mind. no matter how hard you tried to claw at them, to break them free, you couldn't and that left you feeling even more trapped than when this had first started.

and you didn't even know when it started– that nagging feeling of worthlessness that had spiraled into the mess you were now. you'd pushed it away for so long and now it was coming back to bite you. your sense of time was skewed, your memory was getting weak, and your judgment was beginning to cloud. if something was not right in front of you, it did not exist and that could lead to mishaps just like what happened on the last mission you had been tasked with.

you'd been benched– elio believing that it was what was best until you got better– and that was what sent you over the edge.

you felt like a failure, and that you always would be one. you thought that the others were disappointed in you, when they were only concerned for your well being. that sinking feeling of not being good enough quickly turned into your heart dropping to your belly, completely breaking what little hope you had left. you had let them down, you were so mad at yourself, and you felt so guilty.

alone, all these thoughts bubbled up with your bottled emotions until they finally boiled over and took the lid with it.

you didn't even know how long you'd been holed up in bed. sam was constantly checking in on you, making sure you were taking care of yourself despite how adamant you were that you were fine, that you didn't need a babysitter, and that you could take care of your fucking self. but you couldn't, and that was the reality of it. if not for sam, blade would've been getting you into the shower while he made you something to eat as soon as he got back.

blade. you tried to hide your face against his chest, muffling a choked sob and a jagged inhale. you didn't deserve what little love he had left to give. didn't deserve to be held like this, to hear him humming a soft tune or feel his finger tips lightly tracing over your skin– much like you did with him when the mara flared up if kafka wasn't around. he deserved so much more than someone who was so... broken. he shouldn't have to comfort you when he had it much worse, but he would argue that demons were demons regardless of how they presented themselves.

he deserved someone who could make him feel more whole.

"im sorry," you tried to apologize, finally finding your voice. you hated being so vulnerable, so weak. you couldn't but to feel pathetic, crying over nothing like a child.

you went to sit up, causing him to follow suit. he caught you by the chin, gently turning you towards him so he could wipe away your tears. he shook his head, "don't apologize."

"but–"

he rubbed his thumb along your cheek, even though there was nothing more to wipe away, "there's no need to apologize for this, ever. we all have our own battles, but this does not mean you're losing yours. i will always be here to help, even if i'm not in person. i won't let you go through this alone."

you closed your eyes, more tears escaping before you finally nodded and wrapped your arms around his neck, resting your head on his shoulder. he squeezed you back just as tightly, murmuring in your ear, "always, sweetheart. in this life and the next."

#blade x reader #hsr x reader #honkai star rail x reader #ꔫ erixing

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poppy-metal · 5 months

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Oh Poppy what do you think woldve happened after the tribbing/trash can kicking heart break incident?? What would’ve gone through Jordan’s mind for the following weeks and how would they have started to interact?

under a cut because i let my fingers fly

no because its definitely a turning point in your relationship, because how do you come back from that? jordan's been cruel to you many times before but this takes the cake. i mean, this is your body after all, its not just an instrument they can strum. you've learned by then, a little by being around them so much, what gets under their skin. so you ignore them after that. even though you're burning up inside and you want to scream and yell at them for being so careless with your feelings, want to shake them and tell them you're sorry they've had to work so hard and for so long with no acknowledgement from their parents or their peers, you know it must suck and be lonely and you know how high they've built their walls to keep from getting hurt, but its no excuse. its no excuse to hurt you that way, or to treat you like the enemy when you've done nothing but be their biggest ally. you suck it all up and tuck it deep and just go through the motions of practice, you don't meet jordans eye or talk to them at all.

for jordans part, its torture. they're already wrapped in guilt, but also a sick sense of satisfaction. satisfaction at being the first to be between your legs and make you feel like that - and as a woman, no less. they'd gotten to feel that slick heat between your legs and finally make you feel half of what they felt everyday around you, the heat, the frenzy, the passion. but they hate themselves because jordan knows they're a cunt. an asshole. they're not unaware of the kind of person they are. you dont grow claws like theirs and not realize they're there. and they feel like they stole something from you, something that probably should have gone to someone better. but then again, why shouldn't they have taken what they wanted? its half your fault anyway, for forcing this desire on them.

still, they dont expect you to ignore them. they'd been prepared for your simpering eyes, your frowns and your trembling lips and your betrayed gaze. they'd been prepared to brush you off, but you're the one doing the brushing. jordan li has never been brushed off a day in their life, not since their parents, they've made sure of that, because they fucking hate the feeling. makes it feel like there are ants under their skin. itchy and twitchy and fucking irritating and distracting.

you're not supposed to be mad at them.

"leave me alone, jordan" you tell them cooly, when they corner you later, you drain a bottle of water and jordan watches the way your throat works, lip curled because you're wearing one of their fucking hickeys on your neck and you have the audacity to act like you're too busy to talk to them.

"what the fuck is your problem," they step into your space. one hand coming up to grip your arm to stop you from taking another sip. you chance a glance at them and see their glare. dark eyes like two onyx flames. "kinda hard to do a duet performance when your partner is on the other side of the fucking studio all day."

you want to shake out of their grip but think that would give away too much emotion. so you just shrug, even if goosebumps are dancing across your skin at them being so close. "there are some solo scenes that dont require us to work together. think im gonna focus on those this week."

their jaw works, and you try hard not to think about their lips and how they'd felt on your skin. your neck, your throat, parting to tell you dirty things like how good you felt.

"dont fuck with me, freshmen. is this about last weekend?"

its a struggle not to react to the mere acknowledgement of the act that took place. when you finally look at them, their eyes flit over your face, like they're trying to gauge your reaction, taking in every feature of your face like they'd been starved of it, and you realize this is the first you've looked at them head on since that night.

they're so beautiful. it hurts.

you look away, "last weekend?"

playing dumb never worked with jordan. you should have known they wouldn't let it slide, even now.

"when i fucked you -"

"that wasn't sex," you protest meekly. not that you're an expert, far from it, in fact. but sex as far as you knew from books and movies had always required penatration, and nothing had gone - inside you.

jordan snorts. they step closer and now your back is against the full length mirrors that line the studio walls. they tower over you in this form, masculine energy pouring from them and making your mouth water. they always smell so good, something sharp and crisp, that made you want to lean into them.

"is that what you've been telling yourself all week? that it didn't matter because i didn't fuck you with my cock?"

you hate how the crude words make you flush, hate that you can't just not react and stay stoic like they seem to be able to. except, well, they aren't acting very stoic today you suppose. in fact, you notice their chest rising and falling inches from your own heaving chest. their pecs straining against the tight black nylon of their costume. that stupid fucking pearl chain necklace nestled where it always is.

"dont - we dont need to talk about it-"

one hand comes up next to your head against the glass, half trapping you. you crane your neck up to meet their eyes, a mistake, because of how intensely they're looking down at you. like you're prey all over again.

"i thought we shoulnd't, but now im realizing some things got lost in translation," they say softly, their other hand coming up to twine a strand of your hair that had fallen from your bun around their finger. "sex can be alot of things, freshie, not all of it means i have to be inside you, though-" they rub the strand between their fingers, their knuckle just barely skimming the skin of your clavicle, "- i've definitely thought of splitting you open on my cock."

heat blooms everywhere. across your body, in your stomach, pooling between your thighs.

"jordan," you hiss, your facade finally cracking. your wide eyes pleading with them, for you dont know what. for them to stop, for them to keep going. all of it and none of it. "i thought this is what you wanted - i, you left - im trying - im trying to let it go."

"yeah, i know. and i should let you." for once they sound sincere. almost remorseful. they grip your chin with their fingers, tild your head up. you watch some of their hair fall across their forehead and you want to push it back for them but you're frozen. "if i was a good person i would. but im not - im not a good person."

their hand next to your head slips down, until they grab your hand, interlacing your fingers with theirs. you feel the metal of their rings press into your skin and you cant pull away, even if you wanted to.

"you can't ignore me like that again."

you feel some spark come back to you, "you deserved it. after - after what you did -"

"but it wasn't sex right?"

you fluster, unsure now, "i - we - it was just - "

"its okay, sweetheart." you fumble immediately, the petname washing over you like a warm wave. a cotton candy cloud floating you to the sky. why should you be angry? "you obviously have alot to learn. how sex works between two women, first of all."

what are words anymore.

they grin then, and it feels like trouble, like the start to a whole new chapter of problems and heartache and thrills and pleasure.

"you're gonna come home with me tonight. and after i pop that cherry of yours with my cunt, you can tell me if you still feel like a virgin."

#ask #jordan li x reader #jordan li smut #toxic!ballet jordan #will reader ever learn #probably not #thus begins jordan and readers 'teach me about sex' era #wherein jordan is slightly nicer but still toxic #under the guise of helping you understand sex #but they're already in too deep

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frequent-demisexual-distress · 1 year

Text

Memorable: Bowser x reader

Yeah yeah, im a monster fucker, sue me

He's big, frightening at times - the Koopa were intimidating creatures on their own for those unfamiliar with them, but he in particular was massive even by their standards. And yet, here you were, your entire torso being cradled by impossibly large hands, with impossibly sharp claws grazing your clothes and yet never once cutting into your oh so fragile skin - all the while covering your ears, as he let out a massive, earth-shaking roar.

Eventually, the sound slows to a cease and his fiery eyes finally blink away the rage and turn your way; you'd never cease to be surprised by the softness that such sharp eyes could display - a softness, you came to find, that was reserved for only you and his children. You feel a faint churring radiate through him, his body making physical his concern. You finally exhale, and offer him a tired, but genuine, half smile. Reaching out to gently touch his large snout, you speak softly, "It's okay, B. I'm okay."

He huffs through his nose, eyes closing in his relief, as though the weight of the world had been on his shoulders, which also sag before he carefully lowers you to the floor. After ensuring you're able to stand alone, he lowers himself to one knee and takes one of your hands in both of his; he leans forward just enough that you can meet his forehead with your own before speaking quietly, "If you're safe and in my arms, then all will be right in the world."

You hum and don't bother to fight the warm smile on your face. The big softie, he always did have a silver tongue. "But if you wish it, I'll reduce them all to nothing but ash," he states, jewel-like eyes opening and looking at you with no hint of jest. "Any who dare so much as think of touching you without your consent, let alone taking you away... they don't deserve your mercy."

You sigh lightly, raising both hands to rest on his cheeks before pulling your head back just enough to give him a stern look. "Bowser, they just didn't know. Its not fair of them to assume, but given the past, I think they genuinely thought they were helping," you say firmly, rubbing your thumbs soothingly on his cheeks.

Reflecting on your encounter with the short Italians, you couldn't help being somewhat annoyed - after all, they'd taken one look at Bowser walking towards you and then decided to "rescue" you and fight him. It was only when you had evaded the two of them yourself that you had managed to return to your partner and try to soothe his rage.

Bowser's emotions were big, just as the rest of him was. However, those big emotions came from a big heart, and you knew that he only made such a fuss and such offers of violence because he loved you just that much- that, if you asked, he'd end nations; that, were you hurt, he'd destroy any and all involved; that if you were sad, he'd do all in his power to bring you some form of joy.

Allowing your expression to soften, you step in closer. "Besides, with you by my side, I know I never have to be afraid. So, there's no need to display that power and strength - I already know that it's there," you say softly, leaning in and gently kissing him. He churs in his chest, pressing into your kiss and easing his hands behind you, standing up and lifting you with him, never breaking your kiss.

You pull away and smile at him, and he pulls his arm across his chest, allowing you to slide into a more comfortable sitting position in the crook of his elbow, leaning your head against his much larger one. The two of you look out at the mushroom kingdom, framed by the burning hole that your lover had created moments ago in the palace wall, and the two very confused plumbers laid up in a heap across the room.

Finally, Peach and her toad guards burst into the room, weapons ready - only to stop when they see you. "Oh, you two are early!" She says, cheerfully smiling before her gaze slips over to her partner and his brother. With a surprised gasp, regret washes her features. "Mario, Luigi! I'm so sorry- I was going to surprise you; this is Bowser's new fiance, Y/N!" She explains, hurrying over to try and help them up.

"Maybe no more surprises, then," Bowser grumbles exhaustedly, exhaling hot air through his snout. You giggle and pat his chest, "Well, I think first impressions are important; at least it was memorable."

#bowser x reader #fan fiction #fan fic #fanfic #fanfiction #bowser #super mario bros movie #super mario bros #super mario #x reader #x y/n

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marlboroenjoyer · 11 months

Text

cat got your tongue

the way miguel o'hara sunk his claws into my heart and i can't shake him. he makes me REDACTED and REDACTED like... anyway- this is a part 1; its just kind of 'world building', im working on the shameless smut that will be uploaded later today most likely. i didnt beta read cause i dont believe in that shit im sorry. WILL LINK SECOND PART HERE

summary - miguel doesnt understand how to properly convey the emotion commonly known as "concern". he instead criticizes you until youve had enough and finally rendered this explosive man silent.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

there are few instances in which a sentence dies on miguel o’hara’s tongue; his vocal cords ricocheting against each other like live wires. his voice kicking up white hot sparks of thought, that sizzled against the unfortunate soul caught in “conversation” with him.

now, one of those instances had dropped itself right into miguel’s lap. he was reprimanding you for putting yourself into harm's way again. you two were dealing with a particularly difficult anomaly, with jess and gwen on the sidelines making sure to grab any pedestrians in danger. a strike of electricity surged through your spine, making you look over your shoulder to find miguel pinned down. a large slab of the building you all were in had landed on top of miguel's right arm, pinning him down to the concrete floor beneath him. the anomaly was charging him, ready to seemingly rip his head clean off his shoulders by the way he was positioned.

your body was sent into overdrive, sprinting forward, you attached two webs from each of your wrists to the ground in front of you. the webs slingshotting yourself forward towards this monster; your foot landing square on the side of its head, successfully shifting its attention towards you. you heard miguel shout out in the distance behind you as you lead this thing away from the others; for you or the others you couldn’t recognize.

everything was going according to your half haphazardly calculated plan, until you slipped up, fucked up your web placement and your focus just shattered. you were smacked down to the cement far beneath you due to a hunk of debris being slung your way. you dodged to main concern but you lost all footing you had and began to plummet. a shrill shriek ripped itself from your vocal cords as you fell, desperately reaching outwards with your wrists pointed towards the sky; praying that one of your webs would connect to something stable and allow you to swing away.

your left shoulder slammed against a ledge that was jutting out from the wall, you tumbled some more until a buzzing neon red tendril enveloped your torso and caught hold of you. all the air you had desperately been gulping down to calm yourself was sucker punched out of your body, your whole being snapping in the opposite direction of which you were falling. you were borderline lifeless as the web quickly pulled you up to safety and your other two teammates took over the fight. two strong arms held you to a rock hard chest, albeit heaving sporadically, sucking down oxygen in gulps. your head was supported against a strong shoulder, a tender hand grazing your more than dislocated shoulder. you grunted in pain from moving it and you heard a whispered apology above you.

hands kept grabbing onto the painful joint, shushing your groans of pain and ignoring your weak hand; you could hear a voice telling you that it needed to be popped back into place. you didn’t really know what he was talking about. everything was spinning and you were in so much pain. tears were slipping down your cheeks; but you didn’t even notice until gentle thumbs soothed them away. just as quickly though, those same gentle hands were distorted into iron fists; they latched onto your injured shoulder and twisted the joint back into the socket with a stomach turning pop and CRACK. you let out a yell that died into a low growl of agony. it was only a moment or two later when you felt a sharp pain in the meat of your trapezius muscle; and the relief of numbness spread through your whole body. you realized you had lost movement in all of your limbs but you were too out of it to care. you passed out only a few minutes later.

after a few painful weeks in the medical wind of the spider-society hq, your accelerated healing made it a fairly easy process; you found yourself in this little argument with miguel. he called you into his office, via lyla, claiming he needed to speak with you about the latest mission. you hadn’t seen miguel since the mission; which pissed you off to a cartain degree. you always made sure to check up on him when he got injured more than usual on missions.

it was downhill from the moment you stepped foot into that dark intimidating office. the only light that ever shone in that space was the dim orange light from his many screens. he was in your face the second the door closed behind you; immediately going on about how impulsive you are and how you jeopardized the mission. and it went on like this for about five minutes. every word that flung out of his mouth, every humiliating criticism of your actions, tore away at your resolve. you liked to think you had gotten used to miguel’s hot headed, hair trigger temper. this “conversation”, however, was very quickly making that sentiment false. eventually, you had to retaliate against the onslaught of ridicule.

“have you ever thought for a second, in that thick ass skull of yours, to thank me for saving your fucking life?! after everything i had to endure for your ass, to make sure you were okay.” your sudden interruption of miguel's unforgiving words, struck him into silence. you pinched your nose bridge, trying to get a hold of yourself, it was a habit you had picked up from him. miguel opened his mouth to argue back, despite something in the back of his mind screaming at him to shut up. stop fucking talking, you’re going to regret where this goes. thankfully before he could get his sentence out, you once again silenced him.

“the first things you speak to me after the mission are criticisms. that’s what you brought me to your office for.” you run your hands over your face, exasperated by the scenario playing out before you right now. you’ve never found yourself speaking to miguel like this before. “you have your head so far up your own ass you can’t comprehend that this is cruel. either fucking appreciate my help or don’t bother me; cause clearly speaking about the gorey details doesn’t effect you but it certainly exhausts me. i’m not gonna entertain this shit.” your voice was wavering as you rambled on. all of your pent up frustration with this man finally spilling over and out into the universe.

“you didn’t even visit me.” it was barely above a whisper, but it rang in miguel’s ears louder than anything he’s ever heard. you didn’t wait for him to respond when you left the room, the doors swung open for you automatically. with a swift exit of speed walking with assistance from your webs, miguel was left alone in his office.

#miguel o'hara #spiderman 2099 #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara imagine #miguel o'hara fanfiction #spiderman smut #across the spider verse #spiderman 2099 x reader #spiderman 2099 imagine #spiderman 2099 smut #miguel o'hara angst #spiderman angst #across the spiderverse angst

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wibble-wobbegong · 1 year

Text

THE SHED SCENE. AGAIN.

1 am i drank two monsters and the passion is peaking so im talking about it again but im gonna try and be So Direct.

NUMBER ONE. drawing lines

we ALL know mike was drawing a line between will and the rest of his friends in this scene.

he literally says that it’s not the same without will. Blatantly. so WHY is it not the same without will? what has he also DIRECTLY TOLD US about will that makes him different? from everybody else????

BEING FRIENDS WITH HIM IS THE BEST THING HE’S EVER FUCKING DONE!!!!!! like he literally says Right Here that will is above everything else in his life. will isnt just his best friend, he isnt just his favorite person, he’s the beat thing in mike’s ENTIRE life. why would he say that and make a clear differentiation if there wasnt any awareness going on

OH BUT WIBBLE YOU SAY. WIBBLE WHAT IF HE IS SIMPLY SAYING IT WITHOUT UNDERSTANDING THE HOMOSEXUALITY OF IT ALL???? ok well let’s look at his behavior when will is uncomfortable Before the shed scene

and After

he just. went from being the most insane possessive “nobody is allowed near him if he’s uncomfortable” guy ever to pressuring him to do things he doesnt want to do and making him go away. For Fun. there was Zero significant emotional discovery that would have been cause for such a drastic comparison between his behavior in that moment versus the rest of the season. even before will was in danger he was still keeping him close by

mike’s behavior changes DRASTICALLY. there was an event that triggered that change. you could argue it was the snowball, but we also have a scene where we witness him Drawing The Line between will and everyone else

BUT WIBBLE, HE COULDVE JUST BEEN WING MANNING. THE TWO EVENTS ARENT NECESSARILY CONNECTED BECAUSE MIKE WAS JUST BEING HONEST AND TRYING TO HELP WILL!! HE-

liar?

liar.

LIAR.

LIAR!!!!!

we know what mike was saying in the shed is true, but he still has the incredibly prominent lighting that indicates mike is lying or hiding something. everything mike says here is provably true through parallels to crazy together and a bunch of other shit, so what is he hiding?? what could he Possibly be hiding here when we know he’s being honest about what he’s saying?

well, you know where else mike was being honest?

but he STILL has that lighting. because he isn’t being actually honest with will here. he’s downplaying the severity of his feelings A Lot. he’s hiding behind the guise of friendship in both scenes when his feelings run much, much deeper than what he’s showing.

but why would mike be downplaying his feelings in the shed scene if he’s unaware?? he WOULDNT. because he is AWARE. and it guides all his behavior from the snowball to literally his Whole Fucking Arc in s3 which is about Actively pushing will away and trying to fix himself and his feelings by growing up and “learning” to like girls. that arc didnt come out of nowhere. there was a trigger to those incredibly Conscious actions. mike wasnt blind to what he was doing when he made fun of will and projected his own inability to like girls onto him. he has a consciousness that does in fact guide his behavior when doing things Blatantly out of true character for him

pacing around my cage falling over clawing the walls

#sorry i am. diseased #Sick in the head #but i need people to just take the things they see in mike’s patterned behavior and walk backwards to the first instance #the Source #please please pleas eplease plee epalse apsle please #i cant take it man #mike wheeler #byler #<- sorry

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 10 months

Note

Your butterfly Howdy- so so so obsessed!! please tell me you thoughts I love him!! The thought of him simply falling from his chrysalis in a big sopping mess is so real™ , true butterfly moment

i would be Delighted to Talk. i always am. i have many thoughts always about everything. especially This. gonna add a cut so there's not a wall of text on my blog

okay so 1) i don't think he'd give any warning that he's gonna turn into a chrysalis. probably because he wouldn't realize it's happening bc like... those good ol caterpillar instincts took over <3 also it probably made him very very eepy

in his perspective, he took a nap and woke up spontaneously Different. everybody else had to deal with a solid few weeks of him being a chrysalis. and it's not like he was resting inside it - there is soooo much going on in metamorphosis, caterpillars/butterflies Do Not Rest At All

so when he emerges from the chrysalis (as a pathetic wet rag of a man <3) he's just... so out of it. his memory is a little fucky for a bit, he's weak, & he's exhausted to the point where the only time he's awake is to eat (gotta get that energy back!). that's it. he's dead asleep, wakes up, demolishes an entire bowl of fruit, and passes back out. can't even speak coherently.

he slowly gains lucidity until he's functional. he has a small period of time where he's kind of delirious/loopy from an overdose on Sleep, and it's hell on earth for everyone to deal with. i like to think that his main Watchers during this time are Poppy and Barnaby, both bc they're both big enough to wrangle him and bc of obvious reasons. (Poppy is a worrier and Barnaby is in love with Howdy)

when Howdy's loopyness wears off, he's still very tired and a bit spacey, but hey! he reopens the bodega! not that he needs to, since everyone was getting stuff from it anyway. he has a lot of IOU's in the never-used cash register <3 and lots of sweet notes. everyone missed him <3

so for a while when he's functional-but-Exhausted, he's a bit of a grouch. he simply does not have the energy to deal with Shenanigans and Excitement. if anyone walks into the bodega he's basically like "get your shit and get out, thank you, bye". he still sometimes nods off at the counter. eepy eepy bug.

and i don't think he'd really like his new appearance at first? i get the vibes that he Didn't want to pupate OH MY GOD THAT'S THE WORD! I'VE BEEN USING CHRYSALIZE WHICH ISNT EVEN A WORD BC I FORGOT 'PUPATE'. FUCK!, so he was subconsciously putting it off and was able to live for such a long time as a caterpillar.

but oopsie! he lost the battle of biological will! now he's got So Much Fluff and wings and claws and longer antennae and like... he's blue now. that would probably be at least a little unsettling, especially since he didn't realize it was going to happen. also he has to tailor all of his clothes to fit the wings and the Fluff.

plus, i imagine butterfly/moth wings are a Bitch to deal with. they don't fold like bird or bat wings, and they're kinda delicate - though due to Howdy's size, i'm sure they're more durable than a normal butterfly's - so i bet they are Constantly In The Way. (Barnaby probably makes a joke about how "Eddie's supposed to be the clumsy one" after Howdy knocks over a display with his wings for the umpteenth time. cue Barnaby getting kicked out of the store)

it takes a while for Howdy to get them under Control. they'd probably give away ever emotion he has. angry/frustrated? fluttering like crazy. thinking happy/fluffy thoughts or daydreaming? slow opening-closing. sad/pensive? droopy wing cape. stressed/high-strung? closed tight like a book. etc.

(similarly, his antennae are Very expressive! this is not something he can control unless he focuses extra hard. within a week Frank has memorized what each curl and twitch means)

but once Howdy has reconciled with his new appearance & has wrangled his wings, He Is So Fruity And Even More Eccentric. he fell outta that chrysalis and went "im gay now! 🧚‍♂️💅" kidding Kidding. kind of.

idk why, just... i feel like he gets a confidence boost. he realizes hes a Pretty Boy™️. he's like "this is what it must feel like for Eddie when he does drag". he's got that extra fruity Flair yk yk.

and sure, flowers are a little more distracting to Howdy than they used to be, prefers fruit over greenery, and he can't resist taking a short break every day to sun his wings, but other than that things are mostly normal. he's just extra pretty now.

#FORGOT THIS HAS BEEN SITTING IN MY DRAFTS FOR LIKE. A WEEK OR TWO. FUCKING OOPSIES!#oh my god. Pause The Post. my cat dropped a whisker on my desk... ive been blessed...#her lil pointy whisker... d'aw....#AWWWWW ITS GOT A LITTLE CURL AT THE END <3<3<3 #anyway Anyway butterfly howdy.#i have More Specific thoughts for Scenes and tidbits but this post has gotten long enough #enjoy Enjoy!!#i hope this was coherent!#yassified howdy <3 #rambles from the bog #many laughingstock thoughts as well for butterfly howdy. so many thoughts...

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loonybun · 2 months

Text

been listening to a shit ton of the scary jokes recently so as a follow up to my whump song recommendation post, let me provide you some of my favorite lyrics from their songs.

“You stab at your prize, chiseling fear in her eyes

You know it sounds bad, but you love seeing her sad.

You love someone you can shape

who has no will to escape.”

“You’re just a monster with a BFA.

She wants to claw your eyes open

So you can see, she’s not a plaything.”

“You covet her warmth, like a wolf at a corpse

so it’s fair to assume, your intent’s to consume her.”

“So please don’t go away and leave me with nothing

I have no leverage so I feel no pleasure

If I can’t have you to myself, how can I be happy?

So please give me kisses, I won’t break my promises.

I can be a person if you give me the chance.”

“Can you feel me gnawing away at your heart?

And can you hear me when I scream?”

“Oh, can you see, you took over me?

You hijacked my mind, not that I want it back

I want you so bad, I know that it's sad

It's just how I deal, I can't help how I feel

Look I have no doors, I've torn through the walls

I've ripped up the floors, laid waste to it all

I burned up my body, now I have nobody

Can I have you and can you be everything I need?”

“I love you, I love you (I need you, I need you)

I love you, I love you (I need you, I need you)”

“I hear you're still living as an emotional vagrant

With bright red vacancy signs blaring in your eyes

Well my heart might be shot, but at least I've still got one”

“It must be hard to stay ahead of such deadly apathy

When you become bored so easily

And every new fixation feels like it'll fix everything”

“And they don’t go away, they just gnaw at you until the next soft-hearted sucker comes your way.”

“I imagine it’s quite nice for you

to have so many chances oh-so-many ways

to be redeemed

But as for me

I can only be forgiven if I’m giving myself up to you

on a silver serving tray.

Must I bear myself to the stabbing of your knife and gnashing teeth

While our lovely company appears so entertained?”

“I remain soft and accessible in the face of my own ending.”

“Into my sweetest fantasy

The one where you are crying

And I don’t do anything at all.”

“Icicles don’t soften when they die

they sharpen into sabers, and they stab you in the eye.”

“I’ll take the rocks out of my head

and you can sell them on the internet

to a paving company who

Will grind my brains into cement”

“I’ll be your highway, you can drive all over me.”

“If I can’t be a good friend, maybe I can be a good pavement.”

“You walk through walls, set off the smoke alarm

I feel your arms wrapping around me

your aura almost drowns me like a deadly perfume

Pink smoke”

“It smells so very strange, like grenadine and gasoline.”

(rosé coded im sorry this song is so so him it’s insane)

anyways feel free to tag with your whumpees and whumpers and please check out the albums they’re so good these r just my personal favorites/ones i can relate the most to my characters.

#whump community #whump #whumpblr #whump prompt #song prompt #whump songs #whump song #song suggestions #song reccomendations #song recs #Spotify #i can totally give more recommendations by the way #these are just my tsj recs #i have so so many songs #most are on my vian playlist actually HABSHSBSJ

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exquisitelyrandom · 11 months

Note

hi i know one of them is kinda old but if you're okay with it i would love to do a fic of either of these tacophone comics of yours, maybe even both (with credit ofc)

https://www.tumblr.com/exquisitelyrandom/690825927273463808/draw-something-tacophone-related-and-if-you-dont

https://www.tumblr.com/exquisitelyrandom/713112801221263360/angst-because-the-sillies-are-on-my-mind-again

oh my god ofc you can w credit holy sh

YES!!!! AAUGQHZHHQ I'D LOVE FOR YOU TO!!!!! yuo have no idea how much I've been looking for reading content of them plsplspslsplspls

btw where would you be posting the story? I'd love to read it,, if you do make a fic of them, please tag me/send me a link!! ^^

going into small detail abt the ideas behind the comics below because im insane abt them vvv

they're actually very similar to each other so they may as we 🐝 connected/have the same situation lmao

first comic is leaning more on mic's. side

;After getting into the hotel, she's. absolutely miserable but keeps trying to pretend she's fine (she is not). Of course, Soap and the others notice her mood and one of them eventually get to talk to her about it. But even as she does open up, she never outs Taco. Ever. And blames it on the contest. Soap/Whoever confronted her knows it isn't true, but doesn't push further. After the talk, Mic basically just sits there and contemplates, before deciding """past is past""". Eventually, she starts thinking about the whole thing less, and she's smiling a lot more the next few days/weeks. Er. Until. That one night.

The second comic - or, in both comics - , here's Taco's side

There was actually gonna be more similar..things.. in both of the panels i put up above,, but i decided they'd look too similar to each other so Taco looks angrier in the second one

It all starts when Mic walks through the portal. Yeah. She didn't expect that. Taco's not someone to be caught off guard; her moves are calculated, and she knows the outcome of something even before it had a chance to start. She's memorized the puzzles and patterns on an object's mind, knows how to use it to her advantage - knows how to manipulate it into what she needs it to do. So why was it that she..?

She's teleported to their little spot, and her emotions are. overwhelming. At first, she feels.. sad. Distraught. Distraught that Mic left. Then, she feels.. angry. Angry at Mic for even leaving without any further word. Angry at Mic to have the AUDACITY to blame ..her. And she's angry.. at herself. Then, she's sad again. Her mind goes back to the words Microphone last spoke to her, and it stings, just as much as when she first heard them, if not more. She sits on the log -[soft thud]- oh, nevermind, she's on her knees in the soft grass, head in hands. She grips her shell tight and tries to shout, to let out the scream that's been trying to claw its way out of her throat, to get all of the overwhelming thoughts out of her head, but all she can manage is a choked sob, her throat tightening as she curled into herself.

And I'm only now realizing I'm getting WAY too carried away so fast forward everyone:

Taco thinks back on all the mistakes she's made, and back at one of her.. biggest mistakes yet. And, after a while, she decides she's done running, and she's not letting her slip from her grasp that easily. Not again. Not like him.

So, she writes, and writes, and writes, and writes. Until, after over fifty crumpled papers and about three half empty cups of - now cold - tea, she's finished. A letter to Microphone. She spilled her heart out on it, not leaving a single detail on everything she's done, opening herself up completely to the object never expected to break down years worth of built up walls. She's a little hesitant as she sends it to the hotel's mail, and then she waits.

She doesn't respond. Its not the first time. She takes a deep breath. No, she's not letting it faze her. She needs Mic to see she's being genuine. Why couldn't you be genuine from the start? When she most needed you to be?

She sends another letter, this time, directly into her room. She drops it through the little window, and she runs off before anyone notices her. A week passes. She doesn't respond again. She doesn't give up. She sends another letter, and another, and another, and another..

Two months has passed since then - has it really been that long? - And she's on the floor, miserable. The cracks have gotten worse and she can barely see with her right eye, she can barely stand, and her knees feel weak. Her head feels heavy, and her mind goes back to quiet picnics, white bowties and purples hues. And it just.. hurts. It hurts. It hurts, so much and she doesn't want it to. It hurts, and she's angry. Angry at herself for even considering to leave Microphone after they get the million. She's angry at herself for not paying attention to what may have caused the whole thing. Angry at herself slipping up the one good thing she had.

Did you ever have her?

She's angry at herself for being the reason Microphone left.

She feels lightheaded, yet her head feels heavy. And she's so, so tired.. she blacks out

The next thing she knows, she's on her way to ..hotel oj.

Uh oh

so um when I said "small detail" i may have.. lied HEJHSJQJZNNQJXN I WAS GENUINELY GOING TO JUST DESCRIBE MY IDEA FOR THE COMIC IM OSRRY I GOT CARRIED AWAY i had many things to say about tacoy

YOU DONT HAVE TO FOLLOW THROUGH W THE PLOT I'd love to see ur take on the comic!! Ignore my gay little writings hehr

#inanimate insanity #asks #ii taco #ii microphone #tacophone #ii tacophone #i did not proofread anything and i forgot whatever the hell I've been writing bye #also IMF SO GLAD U FOUND IT WAS INTERESTING ENOUGH TO WRITE ABT!!!!

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paintato · 1 year

Note

Tato what’s your favorite like scene idea or whatever (idk how to word it im high) between Wenclair? Like mine is Wednesday being super romantic like Gomez lol

Oh boy. That’s a hard question to answer honestly. You have the ones that show the different dynamics of the two. Then the ones that show how well they fit together like puzzle pieces.

I enjoy scenes where Wednesday lets Enid into her space. Lowering the walls she’s built to keep everyone at a distance. Only to let this bubbly werewolf step all over it. Embracing the chaos that is Enid. Her own preferred method of torture.

Scenes where Wednesday taunts and teases Enid give me life. For instance the first chapter or two of “The Ghost in your videos” Enids just a bumbling mess. Her suffering is delicious.

The reverse is also enjoyable. Wednesday is touch starved all to hell. So I like to think that makes her more sensitive to touch then most people. So when Enid finally steps up to meet Wednesdays challenges she proceeds to melt like butter at Enid being the dominant one.

Scenes where Wednesday is laid back in bed maybe reading an Enid crawls into her lap arms over the girls legs head resting in her lap. Wednesdays got her big hoodie on so there’s no risk of skin contact. So it doesn’t set her on edge, it’s comfortable. Domestic. She’s a cold person, but for Enid she craves the warmth.

Enid speaking Greek to Wednesday, is a head cannon I enjoy. Especially sense it’s collectively decided Greek is a language that Wednesday doesn’t speak. So hearing Enid who she considers a pretty bumbling full speak a language fluently just crawls under her skin and makes itself at home in a nice way. The “Language Barriers” fic is a good representation of that.

I like the head cannon that Wednesday has always been obsessed with werewolves. So getting to look closely at Enids fangs and claws is a #1 priority for her sometimes. To the point where she fantasizes about Enid biting her.

Anything involving the Gomezification of Wednesday Addams. Except not as played up as Gomez. Gomez is all about grand gestures of love, kissing up the arm, physical touch, close proximity. For Wednesday it would holding Enids hand but only the pinkies. Or letting Enid hold the bottom of her shirt as they walked. Letting her braid her hair. Enids got that werewolf strength so at times when Enid really needs a pick me up she’ll just say fuck it an jump into the blondes arms, Enid loves to hold her an carey her around the dorm/apartment. It calms her more then talking sometimes. Then when it comes to words, it would be poems, love letters. Not dark and chilling like some people assume. But a honest heart put on paper type of writing. Wednesday isn’t great with emotions she shoves them down and locks away the key. Her talent lays in her understanding of words and how to weave them together. I played with this a lot in my Beauty and the Beast Fic. Using poems to shed light on the Goths mind set since hiding her feelings that she defiantly pretends not to have is the crowning achievement. She struggles to say what she feels. But when she writes the emotions it’s like watching a painter create a masterpiece.

Those are the main ones i can think of off the top of my head. I always forget anything involving questions people ask. Dx I’ll remember everything I could of said in about 4 hours.

#wednesday #wednesday addams #wenclair #enid sinclair #wednesday x enid #enid x wednesday #wenclair fanfic #gomezification of wednesday #ao3 stuff

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wellthebardsdead · 11 months

Text

The loved & the forgotten pt6

Part 5 here

———

Vivienne: *wrapped in Kaidans cape as Taliesin carries him down the hill back to the horses, whole body aching from the ordeal he’d narrowly survived* im sorry… I’m sorry… I’m sorry…

Taliesin: *tears freezing to his face as he trudges through the snow holding the smaller elf tight* shhh don’t apologise, we’ll get you back into the city and take you to a healer alright?…

Vivienne: *just staring off into blank space, eyes glazed over as his mind struggles to process everything that’s happened* I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I’m sorry…

Taliesin: *sighs and gently covers his face with the dark fabric to keep him warm before looking back to see Kaidan throwing the spear away for the hundredth time* Kaidan give it up! It’s going to keep coming back to him!

Kaidan: *catches it as it comes flying back like a boomerang* HOW THOUGH!? *snaps it over his knee only for it to reform* WHAT EVEN IS THIS FUCKING THING?!

Taliesin: I don’t know but it’s clearly bound to him, I’m sure that Neloth fellow can tell us when we get to solstheim. *pulls himself up onto his horse and holds Vivi in his arms*

Vivienne: I don’t want to meet him anymore…

Taliesin: I?… why not love?…

Vivienne: *looks up at him with such sad hopeless eyes* I know the truth now… I know why I’m so despised… why I’m not allowed near the temple… why the daedra want me dead… except for… *feels the ring on his finger and tears up again* I don’t understand anything anymore…

Taliesin: shhh *leans down and presses his forehead to his* can I kiss you?…

Vivienne: *sniffles and shakes his head breaking into sobs again* I’m c-covered in piss.

Taliesin: …I was wondering what that smell was…

Kaidan: *suddenly climbs onto his horse, spear nowhere in sight* right, let’s get going.

Taliesin: I… Kaidan-

Kaidan: don’t ask, let’s just go.

Muatra: *stuck under a bunch of stones from boethias statue and tangled up in the sticky webs of the cocoon Mephala had created to protect Vivienne. Rattling violently as it tries to escape and return to its masters hand, following the enchantment Vivec placed on it long ago*

*A few hours later*

Vivienne: *laying on a bed in the white phial, now clean and warmly dressed, letting out soft frightened whimpers as Quintus inspects the full extent of the damage*

Kaidan: d-do you really have to look in that deep?

Quintus: *kneeling between the dunmers legs* yes though- outside of an extreme amount of bruising he thankfully has no further physical damage though- mental and emotional damage I’m afraid I can’t heal… Did he tell either of you who did this to him? Judging by the bruising on his pelvis and hip bones and the- claw marks on his torso, I’d say he’d been molested by a frost troll.

Taliesin: no he wouldn’t say, he just keeps repeating that he’s sorry and he knows the truth now… but it wasn’t a frost troll I assure you, whoever it was-

Vivienne: *staring up at the wooden ceiling* Molag Bal…

Everyone: *goes silent*

Kaidan: Molag b-WHUGH!!! *suddenly gets pinned to the wall by his cape as muatra explodes through the window and stabs into the fabric and old wood* ugh… fock…

*a few more hours later*

Vivienne: *laying in his bed in the corner club, Kaidan & Taliesin both sitting beside him, tentatively letting him know they’re there but both too scared to lay beside him just yet in case they frighten him after what he went through*

Kaidan: *gently stroking his hand, letting the dunmer feel how warm his skin is, how full of life he is* shhh, it’s just me lyrebird, don’t be scared…

Taliesin: *brushing his now clean fluffy white hair from his face* would you like anything before bed?… I can make you that tea you’d li-

Vivienne: *sniffles and sits up hugging onto both of them wanting to be held and comforted*

Taliesin: *looks to Kaidan and nods* I’ll lay by the wall and-

Kaidan: he’s in the middle and I’ll guard you both with my body.

Taliesin: I- was going to say so he’ll have room to move if he wakes up in a fright but… yes… thank you, love…

Kaidan: *presses his forehead to his and gently strokes the altmers cheek* okay climb in- *carefully moves Vivi into his arms* I’m just holding you now okay Vivi?… you know We’d never touch you without your consent…

Vivienne: *nods sadly and rests his head against his chest as Taliesin gets comfortable* I know… I’m sorry I went off on my own… I wanted to get rid of the sword- I wanted to be left alone I just-

Kaidan: shhh, you don’t need to apologise… we’re not mad… *looks up to see Taliesin waiting looking equally as tired and concerned as him* okay we’re going to lay you down now, if you’re scared you can tell us alright?…

Vivienne: *nods and curls up a little as Kaidan lays him down, feeling so pathetic and small* i should be used to this… being used like this… I’ve been touched like that hundreds of times why-… why am I so afraid now?…

Taliesin: *tucks the blanket up over him and let’s him see where he’s resting his hands* I’d be surprised if you weren’t frightened after that ordeal…

Kaidan: He’s called the prince of rape for a reason, love… *lays down beside him letting him see every movement he makes, both him and Taliesin utterly terrified any wrong movements could trigger a panic reaction*

Vivienne: he said… I’m his spouse?… his bride he called me… Vivec- me?… I?… married him a long time ago and when the nerevarine destroyed the heart of lorkhan Vivec- slept with him and… gave birth to me as- his new life…

Taliesin: you gave birth… to yourself. I… given everything I’ve read about vivec that honestly makes a lot of sense but… this still isn’t good…

Kaidan: you’re telling me… he’s married you without your consent-*spots the ring on Vivienne’s finger* is that-

Vivienne: *holds up his hand looking at the ring* …no, it’s not a wedding band it… was the ebony blade I think but… Mephala- when she saved me she… said this ring would keep me hidden but I don’t understand how…

Taliesin: maybe it’s ench- *eyes going wide watching as vivienne clenches his hand and suddenly disappears entirely* LOVE?!

Kaidan: VIVI?! *feels the bed in a panic and earns a surprised giggle as he unintentionally pokes his armpit*

Vivienne: *opens his hand and snickers a little at their responses* oh it turns me invisible!

Kaidan: *sighs and smiles with relief, just so happy to make him laugh after the horror he’d endured* don’t scare me like that.

Taliesin: *smiles and holds his hand close to his dunmer lovers* can I hold and kiss you goodnight dear?…

Kaidan: me too love?…

Vivienne: *smiles sadly, feeling loved that they care enough to ask but feeling terrible that they feel like they have to* you don’t have to ask me- I’ll always say yes- *blushes as Taliesin takes his hand in his and kisses his forehead while Kaidan just hugs him close*

Taliesin: We want to be sure we won’t scare you…

Kaidan: You went through something traumatising love… we don’t want to slip up and make you relive it.

Vivienne: *looks up at them before rubbing his eyes as tears begin to form* o-oh- s-stop making m-me cry- *sniffles* I’ve cried enough today I… j-just hold me…

Taliesin & Kaidan: *both smile at each other then at him before embracing one another and their dunmer lover*

Taliesin: …Kaidan where’d you put the spear?

Kaidan: … I left it at the phi- *jumps as it suddenly smashes through the window stabbing into the wall above the bed* …

Taliesin: …

Vivienne: …can one of you move it please id rather not be laying under it again.

#skyrim #vivienne dragonborn #tw: implied sa #tw: implied non con #tw: implied rape #Kaidan skyrim #vivec #skyrim taliesin

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cherryrainn · 1 year

Text

the perfect pair {onceler x reader}

.11| 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐝 |

warning; s3lf harm, self-hatred, depression, mental health issues, etc, and A LOT OF ANGST!!

wattpad ver

song to play while reading if you’d like that i think matches this chapter

part before

next part

note; a portion of this chapter is inspired by another story i read on ao3. i literally cant find it so if you guys recognize anything and know what im talking abt let me know

he's doing it again.

the days began to blur together as onceler grew more distant. he hardly spoke to you, except for a few half-hearted "love you"s that didn't feel genuine. he was always busy, either on calls, attending meetings, or away in different cities. you felt incredibly alone, longing for his attention and a chance to talk, but he was always preoccupied.

meanwhile, outside, it looked horrible, mirroring the chaos in your mind. the weight of responsibilities and uncertainties bore down on you, even though you had no control over onceler's business ventures.

stress became a constant companion, adding to your worries and creating a sense of unease. it felt as if you were fading into the background while the world continued to whirl around you.

you've been trying really hard to resist the urge to relapse, but your mind kept playing tricks on you. it made you believe that onceler no longer loved you and that life had lost its meaning. everything felt heavy and lonely, especially because he seemed distant and always busy with work.

you found yourself sitting alone in the dimly lit bedroom the soft glow of the lamp casting shadows across the walls. onceler entered the room, his footsteps light, and you couldn't help but notice the distance in his eyes. he didn't look at you once.

desperate for connection, you mustered the courage to break the suffocating silence that hung between you. "onceler, can we talk?" your voice wavered, betraying the vulnerability that consumed you. yet, as if trapped in his own world, he continued on his path, sitting on his chair where his desk was, his actions indicating a disregard for your words. the disappointment washed over you, engulfing your spirit in a wave of sadness.

tears welled up in your eyes. the sting of unspoken words and ignored pleas clawed at your heart. it was as if you had become invisible in your own home, your presence fading into the background of his bustling life. the ache of loneliness settled deep within you.

in a trembling voice, you whispered to him, almost hesitantly, "can you talk to me..?" the question escaped your lips, carrying with it the weight of countless nights spent yearning for the warmth of his embrace and the reassurance of his love. it hung in the air, a vulnerable plea for acknowledgement and validation.

with a sigh, onceler's voice filled the room, laden with a mix of frustration and weariness. "you know," he began, his voice laced with an anguished tone, "i've built this company from scratch, pouring my heart and soul into it. every thneed that's made, every sale made—it's all for us, for our future."

his words hung in the air, a painful reminder of the growing divide between you. you mustered the strength to speak up, your voice trembling with a mix of hurt and desperation. "but what about us, onceler? what about our relationship, our love? it feels like you're slipping away, like you're using your success as an excuse to distance yourself from me."

he met your gaze, a flicker of guilt briefly crossing his eyes before being replaced by a mask of determination. "no, you don't understand. everything I'm doing, all the sacrifices i'm making, it's for our future together. i'm building a life of security and comfort for us. can't you see that?"

your heart sank, realizing the depth of his manipulation. it was as if he was wrapping his actions in a cloak of noble intentions, using your emotions as a means to justify his behavior. the weight of his words settled heavily upon your shoulders, the truth of his manipulative tactics slowly becoming clear.

"but what about the love, onceler?" you whispered, your voice trembling. "when was the last time you said you loved me, and meant it?"

for a brief moment, his facade faltered, a flicker of vulnerability in his eyes. but just as quickly, it vanished, replaced by a calculated expression. "love, y/n, is complicated! it's not about words, it's about actions. and my actions, my dedication to this company, they are proof of my love for you. trust me, this is for us."

the heaviness in your chest grew, the pain of his manipulation suffocating you. you couldn't help but wonder if the love you once shared had become secondary to his ambitions. the realization left you feeling trapped, torn between the person you loved and the person he was becoming. you longed for the man who loved you unconditionally, the one you could confide in without fear of judgment.

"onceler," you pleaded, "please, let's talk. don't shut me out anymore. i need you here."

onceler stared at you, his expression neutral, as if he were weighing your words against his own desires. his hesitation gave way to doubt as he studied your face. "i love you, y/n. do you understand that? i will never stop loving you, no matter how far apart we might be. the only thing that matters to me is that we're together forever. you're my whole world, and I want you to stay that way. we can build a future together. please, just give me a chance."

the honesty in his words caught you off guard, and it took everything in you to keep from breaking down. he was saying things that you desperately wanted to hear, but his words were tainted with a ruthless intent to manipulate you. it wasn't the words themselves that hurt so much, it was the fact that they came from someone who claimed to love you.

despite the pleading in your eyes, onceler didn't relent. he stood and walked towards you, cupping your cheek in his hand. "don't you get it, y/n? this is the best way forward for us. we'll be happy, no matter what. i promise you, everything will be alright."

you opened your mouth to respond, but the weight of his words weighed heavily on your heart. you knew he wouldn't back down, that he would continue to use his words as a weapon, trying to convince you of the rightness of his decisions.

you closed your eyes and looked away, somewhere, anywhere that wasn't his face, unable to watch his words sink in. he placed a gentle kiss on your head, and you felt his touch as if it were a physical caress, his fingers lingering on your skin. he said nothing else as he left the room, leaving you alone, your heart in pieces.

over the next few days, onceler grew more and more distant, and the distance between the two of you grew with each passing day. you tried reaching out to him, but he was too focused on other things.

one day, the weight of your emotions became unbearable, and you found yourself seeking solace in the dimly lit bathroom. the tiled floor felt cold against your socked feet as you sat there, cross-legged, the sleeves of your dress shirt pushed up, revealing a canvas of pain etched into your skin. the soft glow of a single candle flickered on the countertop, casting dancing shadows across the room.

with trembling hands, you traced your fingertips along the lines that marred your arms, a twisted tapestry of anguish and desperation. the wounds varied in depth and severity, some like delicate brushstrokes, barely breaking the surface, while others were raw and open, the evidence of a desperate release.

the scent of blood mixed with the soothing aroma of lavender candles you had lit for comfort. drops of red stained the clean brown tiles.

sitting there, you struggled to catch your breath, tears welling in your eyes. the battles waged within your mind echoed in the quiet of the room. you longed for someone to hold you, to offer warmth, but all you heard was your own despair, a reminder of the isolation gripping your heart.

"y/n? y/n! what the hell are you doing?"

startled, you gasped and looked up, your eyes widening in realization. your heart pounded in your chest as you found yourself caught red-handed, exposed in your vulnerable state. the door, forgotten and unlocked, swung open wide, revealing your private moment to onceler who stood frozen in the doorway. his features contorted with a mixture of surprise, concern, and a tinge of disgust.

the door hissed shut behind onceler as he stumbled into the bathroom, his mouth agape with shock. his eyes traced over the cuts visible on your arms, his brows furrowing deeper with each passing moment. the weight of his gaze bore down on you, adding to the heavy silence that enveloped the room. In your trembling hands, you released the box cutter, its sharp edges clattering against the cold tiled floor.

and then, his voice shattered the stillness, exploding with anger and confusion. "what the fuck!" he exclaimed, his words laced with frustration. he moved swiftly, dropping to his knees in front of you, his hands reaching out to pull your arms away, desperate to see the extent of the damage you had inflicted upon yourself.

"onceler..." you began, your voice barely a whisper, but he interrupted you, his anger barely contained. his grip on your wrists was tight, his entire body trembling as he gritted his teeth and breathed heavily. the anger in his eyes bore into yours, demanding answers. "what the fuck happened? you were clean for months!"

caught in the intensity of his gaze, you struggled to find the right words. your mind felt clouded, it was as if you were watching everything from a distance, the significance of the moment eluding your grasp.

his grip tightened, shaking you forcefully, his voice rising in a grating roar. "answer me!" he demanded, his frustration seeping through every word.

"you...i..." you stammered, desperately trying to pull yourself back from the abyss that threatened to consume you. you felt the prickling sensation of tears welling up behind your eyes, the overwhelming surge of emotions threatening to spill over. but for now, you could only blink at him, your mind struggling to process the gravity of the situation.

he didn't react like this before, he was nice, kind, and even helped you clean up.

"it has nothing to do with you onceler, leave me alone!" you shouted, your voice filled with a mixture of frustration, pain, and a simmering rage that had long been suppressed. the weight of your words hung in the air, a stark declaration of the emotions that had been building within you.

the room seemed to shrink, the walls closing in as the storm of emotions swirled around you. the sight of onceler, once a pillar of support and kindness, now transformed into a figure of confusion and anger, sent a wave of anguish through your heart. you could feel the ground shifting beneath your feet, the foundation of your relationship crumbling before your very eyes.

he recoils, the anger on his face morphing into surprise as he stumbles back. in a flash of fury, you break free from his grip, fueling your movements with a surge of adrenaline. your heart pounds in your chest as you face him, your voice laced with a mixture of anger and pain.

"you have no idea what you're looking at! you think you understand, but you're clueless!" your voice trembles with a raw intensity as you lock eyes with him, the tension palpable. "get out of here! leave this goddamn bathroom!"

he rises to his feet, a mixture of defiance and disbelief on his face, and attempts to reach for you again. the fury within you intensifies, consuming your every thought and action. with a primal scream, you unleash a barrage of violent kicks, each strike fueled by your pent-up rage. you aim for his knees, his stomach, anywhere your fury directs you.

"i said, get the fuck out!" you growl, your voice dripping with venom. the force behind your kicks sends him stumbling backward, his attempts to regain his balance futile.

finally, he manages to steady himself, his eyes wide with a mix of fear and astonishment. for a fleeting moment, the weight of your anger hangs heavy in the air. the door hisses shut behind him as he slowly retreats, your words echoing in the silence.

breathing heavily, you slump to the floor, your body trembling with a mixture of exhaustion and adrenaline. tears well up in your eyes as you survey the aftermath. the knife is nowhere to be seen, and the crimson stains on the floor serve as a painful reminder of the chaos that unfolded.

you remain in the bathroom, the weight of the confrontation settling upon you. the sound of his departing footsteps and the distant echo of the closing door resonate in the stillness. emotions swirl within you, a mix of relief and sorrow, as you brace yourself for the turbulent road ahead.

you couldn't evade him forever, you were in the lobby, sitting there. you glanced up from your thoughts, irritation etched across your face as onceler took a seat across from you. with a deep sigh, you looked back down at your work, hoping he would get the hint and leave you alone.

he cleared his throat awkwardly, his gaze fixed on his hands. "listen, i know you're probably not too thrilled to see me right now, but i wanted to talk."

your eyes flickered up to meet his, a mix of annoyance and curiosity in your gaze. "talk about what, onceler? i don't have time for this."

he shifted uncomfortably in his seat, his words laced with a hint of urgency. "i need to apologize, for everything. the way i've been treating you, shutting you out... it's not fair, and it's not how I want things to be."

you arched an eyebrow, skeptical of his sudden change in attitude. "apologies don't mean much if the behavior doesn't change. what's really going on, onceler?"

he hesitated, his gaze searching yours for understanding. "i've been under a lot of pressure with the business, with the thneeds, and i've let it consume me. i neglected you, and i'm sorry. you mean more to me than all of this. i wanna make things right."

your heart wavered between anger and a flicker of hope, unsure of whether to believe his words. "actions speak louder than words, onceler. i can't just forget everything that happened."

he reached out a hand, and you just looked at it.

"just... leave me alone."

you get up and step out of the lobby and head for the door. you don't hear him say anything, you don't look back, you just leave.

you think that might be the end of it. you hope that's the end of it.

days go by, and things start to return to their previous state. he's back to being distant, as if the incident never happened. but deep down, you know he wasn't truly sorry. you knew he wouldn't keep his promises.

and amidst the facade of normalcy, hidden beneath your sleeve, is the fresh cut, a testament to your ongoing struggle. after the incident, you slipped back into old habits, finding comfort in the familiar pain.

sitting on your bed, engrossed in your phone, you fail to hear onceler entering the room. it's only when he clears his throat that you snap back to reality.

"oh, onceler," you say, feigning surprise, "i didn't see you there."

his gaze immediately falls upon your exposed arm, the newly formed marks standing out starkly against your skin. you quickly pull your sleeve down, attempting to conceal the evidence.

you hurriedly explain, your voice tinged with defensiveness. "it's not-"

"no!" onceler's expression contorts, a mixture of anger, concern, and sadness. he takes a step closer, his voice trembling with emotion.

"i can't stand by and watch you do this shit to yourself!" he exclaims, his words laced with desperation. "i don't get why you hurt yourself like this!"

you let out a weary sigh, feeling the weight of his words. "we've been through this before," you say, your voice tinged with frustration. "everyone has their struggles, their own ways of coping."

"what struggles!?"

you stay silent, but he speaks up again.

"but self-harm, y/n... it's not a healthy way to cope. it's not right"

your anger rises, fueled by the fear of losing control. "and what about you? huh?" you retort, the words escaping before you can filter them. "you smoke cigars and act all confident and cocky, but that's not exactly healthy either!"

the room falls silent, the weight of your words hanging heavily in the air. regret washes over you, but it's too late to take them back. you open your mouth to apologize, to try and salvage the situation, but no words come out.

onceler's face hardens, his expression a mixture of disappointment and determination. without a word, he turns on his heels and walks out the door, his departure punctuated by a thick silence.

the days have blurred together as you lock yourself to your room, he told his mom, she confronted you, made fun of you, you were so hurt. his mom released the info to the public, everyone knew. you just can't bring yourself to go outside. the weight of embarrassment and shame suffocates you, making it hard to face anyone,

a hesitant knock breaks through the silence, and you choose to ignore it. the room feels empty, as if you were the only person left in the world.

the door slides open, and onceler steps inside. you keep your gaze fixed on the floor, avoiding his presence. the room feels heavy with unspoken tension.

he clears his throat softly, his voice cautious. "hey... are you okay?"

bitterness creeps into your tone as you respond, not looking up. "why should you care? your mom made sure everyone knows my secret. did you enjoy sharing my personal struggles with your mom?"

his voice is laced with remorse. "i never meant for that to happen. i was just talking to her, i thought she would understand and keep it between us."

a surge of anger courses through you. "well, congratulations. now everyone knows about my struggles. just what I needed, right?"

"i'm sorry... i didn't know.."

"you should have known!" you retort, your voice trembling with anger and hurt. "you should have known how she feels about me, how she would use this against me. but you didn't care enough to consider the consequences!"

he takes a step forward, his voice filled with defensiveness. "what did you want me to do? i thought I was doing the right thing by telling my mom, seeking guidance."

a bitter laugh escapes your lips, laced with frustration. "guidance? Is that what you call it? she made a spectacle out of my struggles, and now I'm left feeling exposed and humiliated."

he gazes at you, "well.. that wasn't my intention! why are you mad at me?"

"intentions don't matter now," you reply, tears welling up in your eyes. "you didn't bother to ask me how I felt, what i needed. you made decisions for me without my consent, and now I'm left picking up the pieces."

silence hangs in the air as both of you struggle with the weight of the situation. the room feels suffocating, and you can see the conflict in his eyes.

finally, he speaks in a barely audible voice. "what can I do now? how can I make it right?"

you take a deep breath, your voice softening as you speak through tears. "right now, i need some space. please, just leave me alone for now."

he stands there, the weight of his actions evident on his face. without another word, he turns and walks out of the room, leaving you to confront the pain on your own.

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stillmonsterz · 6 days

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god i love u fr

anw so— birds of a feather quite literally fucked up my day (in a good way) like im so invested into this story and im just in awe of the level of literacy in the way u write and im kinda taking some notes and learning from u in a way?? i mean that in a very appreciative way and i think ur genuinely one of a kind absolutely gem writer on this app like i could go on and on abt the way you write your characters and their chemistry w each other like ugh im eating it up im so full

so onto the actual fic, WHAT THE FUCK RIKI?? when i catch u riki istg, my heart SANK at that last part like i knew something was up bc he hasn't caused anything in a while and that was like a bullet sized dagger straight through my heart jfc. he had me all bamboozled and im actually feeling rage at the way mc showed vulnerability to him only to be backstabbed by him and now he's like dragging her w a noose around her neck— it's insane how he immediately dismissed mc and jumped the gun at how she could only be lying like that part just made him go from my fav character to my most loathed character. also suddenly the few mentions of riki being 'cute and evil' compared to everyone else makes so much sense, and tbh i don't trust that he'd stay quiet abt those ss he's just gonna be bored and leak them after a while i feel like.

oh and i cant forget abt the jay scene in the hotel GOD i had such a viceral emotional reaction to every dialogue they said— my brain is thoroughly jumbled, a smut scene on ecstasy could never compare to the gut wrenching situationship break up that was. if i may be honest, jay's a pussy lmao wdym you can't be wrong and admit you're not even half as bad as u thought lol anw he's going straight into the complicated men box. sorry that was me trying to cope w the fact that all of the progress jay and mc made was just gone like that and it's all back to square one now, i can't deal w that loss rn im fr mourning over it. there's just a lot to say abt that scene it might be my all time favorite piece of fanfic i've read in my life, im losing my mind at the contrast between mc wanting to savor the moment and make it last longer while jay's trying to get it over with bc i know that he knows if he takes as much time as he'd like, he'd actually realize he loves her and that's just too much of big boy feelings for him (im bullying him too much bc im so sour rn)

also the reveal w jake dealing w addiction was eye opening, like now im rethinking back to all the times he's been fidgety and including that recent scene w mc when he comes out of the restrooms, god i was dying for the mc to just get in there and ivestigate around BUT SHE DIDN'T im so pissed. jake's definitely shown some cracks in this part and i can't wait to see him be vulnerable to mc and be honest for once, he's hiding too much and i still don't trust him i can't lie.

and i think we might be only skimming the surface w the other members, i weirdly adore sunoo lmao he's such a cryptid being, and tbh the only good thing that came out of this was sunghoon and lily being a maybe healthy couple, i love love that scene w him and lily it's such a sweet and cute moment in between all the shit mc's digging herself in lmao. i don't think i have an opinion on heeseung yet other than he obviously cares for his members, or at least the kc's reputation, and has his bearings together enough to tell the mc straight up abt all of that. also jungwon.... why do i hear boss music.... LMAO but honestly the bit where it mentioned that he got shit on everyone combined w the ending had me clawing at the walls, he's gonna be important later on and im feeling the nerves crawl up my spine even though he's never shown up once in this part, im that scared of him 😭

im terrified at what's to come, like actual dread on if riki's abt to spill everything to jay and if jay will find out and— this is too overwhelming and my mind's so cluttered lol. anw im not gonna speculate anything rn for my health but im gonna write this last paragraph in appreciation for the way you write morally gray characters, like just completely blown away by how complex and unpleasant they were written, and i mean unpleasant bc i fr know some ppl who'd act this way, it's bone chilling. granted not to the extent these characters are but it's still enough to take me back into the headspace and social circle in my younger years, just the deep regret crashing all over me again lol. not to say this was horrible no no quite the exact opposite this is the most fun and absorbed i've got from a fic in a long time, this left such an impression on me that it sneaks into the back of my mind all the time, which amplifies everytime i open this app just to scroll and i always unconsciously search ur user to see if you've updated or not.

last one i promise, thank u sm for writing this fic and all ur other fics, i know and i can tell when a writer has literacy in their heart ur up there w my forever favorites. can't wait to see it all unfolds and im hoping the mc have some sort of a good ending, fingers crossed 🥲 (sorry for this wall of text also lol)

Putting my answer under a read-more

First of all, please don't apologize for sending large asks like this. I honestly love it when people have a lot of things to say about my works. It makes me feel as though I've created something rich enough that it can be discussed.

like im so invested into this story and im just in awe of the level of literacy in the way u write and im kinda taking some notes and learning from u in a way??

Thank you so much for this...I think I can attribute this to me reading. I read almost every day, and I only read things that I enjoy.

also suddenly the few mentions of riki being 'cute and evil' compared to everyone else makes so much sense, and tbh i don't trust that he'd stay quiet abt those ss he's just gonna be bored and leak them after a while i feel like.

I sort of wanted to emphasize that anyone who would join the Karma Club would inherently be predisposed to doing horrible things for their own enjoyment. Also, as in real life, sometimes the nicest people can do horrible things. People are far more contradictory than we give them credit for. That being said, no spoilers on what he'll do with the screenshots. It's been fascinating to see the revulsion towards Riki's actions compared to what Jay has done to the MC.

if i may be honest, jay's a pussy lmao wdym you can't be wrong and admit you're not even half as bad as u thought lol anw he's going straight into the complicated men box. sorry that was me trying to cope w the fact that all of the progress jay and mc made was just gone like that and it's all back to square one now, i can't deal w that loss rn im fr mourning over it.

If it makes you feel any better, they aren't really at square one. Square one was Jay harassing her nonstop because he truly was disgusted by her, in as equal measure as he was fascinated by her. Like he said, he now doesn't even know if he hates her anymore. So even though it seems like they've gone to the beginning, this is new territory for both of them. Jay is a huge pussy, though. He calls Jake a pussy, but Jake has made more genuine attempts to get close to Y/N than him LOL

god i was dying for the mc to just get in there and ivestigate around BUT SHE DIDN'T im so pissed. jake's definitely shown some cracks in this part and i can't wait to see him be vulnerable to mc and be honest for once, he's hiding too much and i still don't trust him i can't lie.

It's good that you don't trust him. At that point, Heeseung had already told Y/N to just be nice to Jake, so she didn't want to bother him. Heeseung essentially told her that she was part of the reason why Jake relapsed, so she doesn't want to toe the line.

i don't think i have an opinion on heeseung yet other than he obviously cares for his members, or at least the kc's reputation, and has his bearings together enough to tell the mc straight up abt all of that. also jungwon.... why do i hear boss music.... LMAO but honestly the bit where it mentioned that he got shit on everyone combined w the ending had me clawing at the walls

No spoilers, but Jungwon will come into play. Something happened in the earlier part of birds of a feather that will have an effect on what happens in Part 3.

im gonna write this last paragraph in appreciation for the way you write morally gray characters, like just completely blown away by how complex and unpleasant they were written, and i mean unpleasant bc i fr know some ppl who'd act this way, it's bone chilling. granted not to the extent these characters are but it's still enough to take me back into the headspace and social circle in my younger years, just the deep regret crashing all over me again lol.

Thank you so much! And yeah, I definitely drew from my high school experience for some of this. The only other time I've ever done that is for Tired of What We Are, and I think you can see some of the parallels. Not to say that fluff is unnecessary (I do plan on writing something cute) but it's just fun to play round with people who are morally questionable, and who revel in their bad traits at times. Not so fun to experience it yourself, though.

thank u sm for writing this fic and all ur other fics, i know and i can tell when a writer has literacy in their heart ur up there w my forever favorites. can't wait to see it all unfolds and im hoping the mc have some sort of a good ending, fingers crossed

Thank you so so much. I took a long time to answer this because I wanted to keep this ask to myself. Whenever someone sends me a longer ask, I read it over and over again. I wanted to hold onto it for as long as possible. I really do love writing fics, and I'm grateful that people are willing to read them. Thank you for all of the kind words you've written, and for taking the time to read my fic!

#asks

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bugflies00 · 2 years

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okay genuinely i have so many thoughts about this stream and idk if i have time to post them all but they are so overwhelmingly positive.

like i dont know how to phrase the fact that this is the most dream smp a stream has felt in months. dyou know what i mean?? like this genuinely felt like what the server is, what it used to be before everyone distanced themselves for a bit. it was the perfect balance of humour and stupid bits with raw emotions, it was ccrimeboys being goofy and protective and caring and dumb and sad and it was utterly perfect. like it’s them. it’s genuinely them im so fucking happy.

and the exile discussion like we have genuinely been waiting for that shit since 2020 its a year and a half and they did that fucking discussion and they blew it out of the park (i am Genuinely never recovering from tommy saying that sentence. saying, out loud, “this is where i went to kill myself.”) and cwilbur got metaphorically punched in the gut with the realisation that his idol did that to his brother, and of course he immediately turned around and dreamed of violence on dream because how could you possibly envision a world where wilbur does not care, first and foremost and above all else, about tommy? how can you?

and finally we’re getting the culmination of the suicidal ideation we’ve seen build up in cwilbur for months now, his self loathing and how it only increased when he saw what a man he used to revere did to his brother and how his first thought was to put himself on the line

and the parallels. oh my god the parallels im frothing at the mouth there were SO MANYYY. of course c!crime and their disastrous habit to threaten suicide to get cdream to do what they want (im clawing at the walls of my cage for that one), but also the beach party scene. the BEACH PARTY SCENE i am sobbing i am on the floor. last time tommy tried to hold a party he was still under cdream’s full control and no one showed up but dream and he was alone and depressed and suicidal and he thought no one loved him anymore. and now you have tommy, dancing and laughing with wilbur on that same fucking beach, joking that he’s holding that party again. like a second chance. like healing, almost. not really, because there’s still that plan of wilbur’s looming in the horizon, but a better shot at healing than he’s ever had in the past because he’s on that same fucking beach but wilbur is here.

and the DISCS FIASCO. c!crime and trust i would write an essay if i were a better analyst like genuinely . but TOMMY’S ACTING IM BLOWN AWAY EVERY TIME they are so incredible like ctommy was so close to tears there and i genuinely melted like this guy is just. holy fucking shit that was one of tommy’s best acting moment in my opinion. and DREAMMM fucking evil bitch as usual with his cheery voice talking about the prison lobby being his living room while ctommy’s a hair away from a full blown panic attack. Genuinely delightful. AND OBVIOUSLY WILBUR’S ACTING but i feel like this goes without saying

and the whole thing with the book. wilbur, proving over and over again how much of a fucking lie “i never cared about l’manberg” was. how much he loved that country. and once again proving all the lmanberg antis wrong Lmao get fucked losers it was always good at its core because it was the most tight knit community on that entire server. and c!crimeboys have always known that because they’re the ones who made it that way, that’s why they keep coming back to it. “independence or death” because they may have moved on from the country but they’re still the same people battling the same fucking prick in power, they’re still wilbur and tommy with nothing but an iron chestplate, a couple sticks and very little self preservation against the manipulative bastard that is dream with his power plays and mind games. that’s what it comes back to, at the end. and i fucking love that

this is perhaps my favourite lore stream since at least disc finale if not 2020. and goddamnit they did us right because of course they did it’s crimeboys and i always had faith in them

#mcyt #crimeboys #wilbur soot #tommyinnit #c!crimeboys #c!wilbur #c!tommy #alex.rambles.txt #tw suicide mention #JESUS i typed that whole thing in a frenzy i just blacked out and didnt emerge apart from checking quotes

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