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sueboohscorner · 4 years

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Top 10 Blast From The Past To Binge /Rewatch While Quarantine # StayHome #StaySafe

I know it is getting a little suffocating at home, and all we can do to past time is read, eat and watch TV. The Sueboohs corner Family wants to play there part in the only way we know how and send you back a few years.

I have personally watched all these shows. That is why I can recommend them, they may not be for everyone, but these are some shows that got me through some rough time.

Romance/ drama

One Tree Hill (TV Series 2003–2012) 9 seasons- watch it on Hulu

The main storyline in the early seasons is the relationship between two half-brothers, Lucas and Nathan Scott, who start out as enemies but bond as the show progresses.

2. Gossip Girl (TV Series 2007–2012) 6 seasons watch on Netflix

The main storyline follows the lives of privileged teenagers on the upper east side. Serena Van Der Woodsen is a blonde and beautiful socialite.

FYI -A sequel series, also titled Gossip Girl, and also headed by original executive producers Schwartz, Savage, and Safran will release in 2020 on the HBO Max streaming service. While set in the same continuity, the series focuses on a new cast of characters from a different perspective in the same setting, likened to that of a shared universe.

3. Beauty and the Beast (TV Series 2012–2016)- 4 seasons watch it on Netflix

This season revolves around Catherine and Vincent trying to pursue a relationship together, whilst being hunted down by a top-secret government organization named Muirfield who want Vincent dead. Muirfield is revealed to have conducted a high-profile secret experiment on soldiers fighting in Afghanistan.

4. The O.C. (TV Series 2003–2007)- 4 Seasons Hulu or Amazon Prime Videos

A troubled youth becomes embroiled in the lives of a close-knit group of people in the wealthy, upper-class neighborhood of Newport Beach, Orange County.

5. Hart of Dixie (TV Series 2011–2015) 4 seasons Watch it on American Prine Video

The resolves around Big City Zoe Hart adjusting to life in the small town of Bluebell, Alabama and the practice she inherited from the father she never knew, with whom Zoe's mother had an affair while she was engaged to the man Zoe knew as her dad and she had the best dad ever and she wanted to take over her dad's footsteps.

6. Dawson's Creek (TV Series 1998–2003) watch it on Hulu

The series follow the life of Dawson and his friends.

Supernatural/ Thriller/ Action

7. Merlin (TV Series 2008–2012) - 5 seasons watch it on Netflix

Merlin (Colin Morgan) is a young and powerful warlock who arrives in the kingdom of Camelot after his mother arranges for him to stay with the court physician, Gaius (Richard Wilson). He discovers that the king, Uther Pendragon (Anthony Head), outlawed magic twenty years earlier in an event known as the Great Purge and imprisoned the last Dragon deep under the castle.

8. Nikita (TV Series 2010–2013) 4 season Watch it on Netflix

The series focuses on Nikita Mears, a woman who escaped from a secret U.S. government-funded organization known as Division, and after spending three years in hiding, is back to bring Division down. Division, created and supervised by an organization called Oversight, is responsible for black operations including espionage, sabotage, and assassination. Under the leadership of its first director and founding member.

9. Smallville (TV Series 2001–2011) 10 Seasons Watch on Hulu

Smallville tells the tale of a teenage Clark Kent in the days before he was Superman. It is the town where he came from where very strange things started

10. Being Human (TV Series 2008–2013) 3 Seasons Watch on Youtube TV, Amazon Prime Videos

Three roommates in their twenties each try to keep a secret from the rest of the world. Aidan, a 200-year-old vampire, Josh is a werewolf, and Sally is a ghost. The three try to help one another navigate the complexities of living double lives while trying to figure out their own at the same time.

While these may not be the blast from the past Tv series, I truly enjoed each and every one of these series.

Please feel free to comment on if you already watch it or if you are going to watchit, or if you watched it and like it.

#TV show to watch on Quarantine #Blast from Past to Watch on Quarantine #One Tree Hill #SmallVile #The OC #Being Human #Hart of Dixie #Nikita #Merlin #Dawson Creek #Gossip Girl #Beauty and the Beast

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oceanskiees · 4 years

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How to succeed in heartbreak without really trying: First, do nothing Become one with your couch Eating whole stacks of Oreos like leaning towers of feelings Watch Jane Austen adaptations until your eyes become raisins Relish in Colin Firth emerging from the lake in a white shirt If you must do something, drink But keep it classy, put your cheap wine in a glass You aren’t a pirate! Talk to yourself, talking to yourself in the mirror, On public transportation, In the middle of the fountain at the mall! Because, there are thing you never got to say And you do not have to swallow them.. Join tinder! Make your profile picture a model and talk to no one Just keep swiping until you get carpal tunnel That way you can reject 50 people a minute and it feels like killing ants … with abs Kiss as many people as you need to get the stamp of his lips off of your brain Go to museums Realize other things have history too Play hide and go see with your REM cycles You’re not sure which is worse to wake up from The nightmare about your sides splitting open Or the dreams about him holding your jaw like it meant something to him You might as well tape your eyelids to your forehead Because at least you can lie to yourself while you’re awake Stay up until 3, 3:30, 4 Brew tea with the bags under your eyes Write. Write until you’ve used every metaphor in your library You start using the same one over and over Because there’s only so many ways to describe being destroyed But once you get there, that’s just the foundation Next, gather up all of the chinks in your chain And fasten them together Make chain mails, and write that bitch into battle Take his name, the one that still hurts to say And use it as a war cry, then, actually cry Because there is nothing shameful about clearing your eyes Do not pick yourself up Do not be okay Because heartbreak is not about being okay It’s about remembering that you were okay before It is about saying fuck okay It is about taking all your broken pieces and building yourself a castle Because I don’t care who you are You’re a goddamn queen It’s about saying, fuck this poem No one succeeds at heartbreak I build myself a throne room out of pizza boxes and empty lunchables and I can’t stop crying into my Campbell Chicken Noodle Soup But one day, I’ll cry myself a fountain of youth Let’s go back to beginning I’m tired of self-help tips and friendly pick me ups I drink a bottle, and bottles and bottles, pretending their mouths belong to someone else, But I’m done feeling sorry for myself, Because why apologize for loving until you burst? My capacity to feel needs no pardon My heart needs no mending I’m not broken I’m just a little more, explosive

Victoria Morgan .. If you have time, please watch her on youtube. This poem never fails to give me goosebumps

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grassangel · 4 years

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initial reactions to Spyfall part 1

Not so much my yeah, eh, hmm, nah format, more an actual live blog

With bonus squee at the end because of that reveal at the end

Really doubling down on the Resolution location typesetting. The typography is better this time around though, and I like the minus tracking. Gives it a bit more flavour and doesn’t make it so painfully obvious that it’s copying CA:CW and Killing Eve. (But more appropriate here than Resolution! This story is a spy story!)

Yaz isn't going to make it back. Not with the way she keeps saying she'll be back. Calling it that she doesn’t make the end of the series

Love they're actually packing their stuff though

Thirteen says she had an upgrade!

Also love the UNIT/Torchwood mention. Don’t care if they still exist or not but I do care they are at least mentioned

Also hurrah, serious mentions of the Doctor not always being a woman (especially, reflecting post-episode, the one made by O)

What happened to Yaz when she got transported by those beings of light? Nothing good I think

This whole VOR is a FB/Amazon stand in would've been a great story in 2018. Just a bit slow on the uptake Chibs, not extrapolating enough and not being speculative enough in your sci-fi series.

Red (or perhaps magenta) lining in Thirteen’s formal coat! 💕

Yeah! The Doctor playing Snap

Whittaker's profile when she's talking to Lenny Henry's character in the sunlight is BEAUTIFUL

Ryan screaming, fave. He’s the best character for reacting like that and I love him for it. More people should love him for being the companion that screams in this team.

FINALLY we get to see a working Chameleon circuit AND it’s the Master’s TARDIS

Dhawan’s Master seems like a mix of manic Simm and Ainley at most playful with his TCE and it’s exciting

Unsure when in timeline, but he still thinks these aliens won't turn on him (which Missy seemed to have learned never works out) so I have to laugh a little at him

Awww, Terrence Dicks memorial. I hope the next episode has one too

The sort of rephrased 'without hope, without witness, without reward' in the preview is interesting

Also really struck by how, after TDF, I was imagining the reunion between the Doctor and the Master as one between Ruth Wilson as the Doctor and Riz Ahmed as the Master on a battle field, both in suits and here we are, under three years later with Jodie Whittaker and Sacha Dawan in tuxes. Yeah sure, Dhawan isn’t my top choices of Hannah John Kamen or Riz Ahmed, but he’s awfully close. (And he isn’t Blake Ritson or Colin Morgan, who I can now say were my fears for white dudes who might play the Master.)

I am, of course, SQUEEING so much over Thirteen getting a Master of her own to play with. Even if it isn’t Missy and it once again looks heterosexual. But like... Dhawan!Master’s acknowledged that the Doctor has previously been a man, and depending on whether he’s after Missy, we might get a line that he was a woman previously too. So there’s definitely genderfuckery going on, never mind the fact Dhawan!Master likely flirted with that previous incarnation of the Doctor as well.

Anyway things that make me think he’s post-Missy (even if I would’ve liked to see a Master making a go of being their version of good) rather than an interstitial one between Simm and Missy or from the previous regeneration cycle that we haven’t met before

The Simm mania and Ainley playfulness. The Simm mania in particular isn’t really a thing that pops up in classic Who. (Yeah, Ainley and Roberts are dramatic fucks, but not manic the same way Simm is.)

The long con that is more associated with Jacobi and Simm (War Master/Saxon/Razor)

The whole set up - on Earth, aligning with aliens who'll inevitably betray him - very classic, very their flirting. So much so that I’ve been saying that the Master has been putting on an anniversary party for the Doctor

Doesn't demonstrate that he's aware he'll be betrayed, but does make a point of getting the fam on his side - making tea for Graham and offering him info about the Doctor, flirting with the pretty girl one. Very Delgado, very Gomez

He loves the Doctor so much. Like yeah, that's the natural state of the Master in the presence of the Doctor, but he is definitely more on the sweet side than the annoyed side. Also a very modern Who characterisation of the character, but then apparently all the showrunners have shipped it and I’m glad they do.

There's deep lore about how other universes don't have Time Lords. I don't know how the Unbound series fits into that aside from being DWEU version of Marvel's what if universes, but I’m expressing my doubt here that Chibnall would wade that far into the lore on the main show.

Anyway points 1-5 are all very on the nose, very "I'm the evil step-mother", that it all could very easily be an act in the Doctor's favour and this Master is just a lovesick fool who misses the Doctor and wants them back

I did hear the rumours about the Master before the series started that I dismissed, but I did note that someone resembling Dhawan seemed to be hidden/in the background in a few shots which might mean he’s a recurring character. Which obviously I’m very excited about.

Things that make me think twice that this is our Master after Missy

'Heart' not 'hearts'

The Master isn't good at running? The one who ran with the Doctor through fields of red grass? Who the Doctor told to run on Skaro, fully knowing she'd be able to escape?

There was the tagging of Rufus Hound which does make me suspect maybe not the Master but another Time Lord BUT there are yet more rumours circulating that make me look askance at this theory too

Overall though... fun episode, gotta needle Chibs a little for not being a great speculative writer, but otherwise it’s looking hopeful. He split up the team, gave them different jobs to do, got them back together and then split them up again. That’s how you handle large TARDIS teams! And of course I love this new Master and hope to see plenty more flirting between him and the Doctor. I’m already writing fic

#Doctor Who #liveblogish #talky #DW spoilers

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cloudyskiesandcatharsis · 6 years

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How to succeed in heartbreak without really trying! First, do nothing Become one with your couch Eating whole stack of Oreos like leaning towers of feelings Watch Jane Austen adaptation until your eyes become raisins Relish in Colin Firth emerging from the lake in a white shirt If you must do something? Drink But keep it classy, put your cheap wine in a glass, you aren’t a pirate! Talk to yourself, talk to yourself in the mirror, on public transportation, in the middle of the fountain at the mall! Because, there are things you never got to say And you don’t have to swallow them Join Tinder! Make your profile picture a model And talk to no one! Just keep swiping until you get carpal tunnel That way you can reject 50 people a minute and it feels like killing ants! …with apps Kiss as many people as you need to get the stamp of his lips off of your brain Go to museums; realize other things have history too… Play hide and go seek with your REM cycles You’re not sure which is worse to wake up from The nightmare about your sides splitting open or the dreams about him holding your jar like it meant something to him You might as well tape your eyelids to your forehead Because at least you can lie to yourself while you are awake Stay up until 3, or 3.30, 4 Brew tea with the bags under your eyes Write, write until you’ve used every metaphor in your library You start using the same one over and over Because there’s only so many ways to describe being destroyed But once you get there, that’s just the foundation Next, gather up all of the chinks in your chain And fasten them together Make chain mails, and write that bitch into battle Take his name, the one that still hurts to say And use it as a war cry, then, actually cry Because there is nothing shameful about clearing your eyes Do not pick yourself up Do not be okay Because heartbreak is not about being okay It’s about remembering that you were okay before It is about saying fuck okay It is about taking all your broken pieces and building yourself a castle Because I don’t care who you are You’re a goddamn queen It’s about saying, fuck this poem No one succeed at heartbreak I build myself a throne room out of pizza boxes and empty lunchables and I can’t stop crying into my Campbell Chicken Noodle Soup But one day, I’ll cry myself a fountain of youth Let’s go back to beginning I’m tired of self-help tips and friendly pick me ups I drink a bottle, and bottles and bottles, pretending their mouths belong to someone else, But I’m done feeling sorry for myself, Because why apologize for loving until you burst? My capacity to feel needs no pardon My heart needs no mending I’m not broken I’m just a little more, explosive

How to Succeed in Heartbreak by Victoria Morgan

Watch the performance here.

#slam poetry #spoken word #poem #words #heartbreak #love #pain #loss #life #brave #sadness #depression #loneliness

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carolamart · 7 years

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Inktober 2017 - Side profile appreciation | Day 2 ↳ Colin Morgan

#merlinedit #merlin #inktober #colin morgan #ink art #art #ink #sketch #drawing

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garagesaleofficial · 6 years

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a-star-is-here · 1 year

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✨side profile✨

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medieval-clotpoles · 7 years

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Promises

I had something entirely different planned for the ending but then this happened and I’m too tired to rethink it all right now... Let me know if you guys like it!

You can also find it on my AO3 - my username is coffeshopangel, there’s a link in my profile.

“Colin, would you hurry up? We’re gonna be late!” Bradley called through their apartment, shaking his head slightly. He had known that leaving this outing as a surprise to Colin had been a terrible idea, if for any reason other than that Colin takes bloody forever to get ready.

“Not all of us can roll out of bed looking like their ready for a photoshoot with Calvin Klein,” Colin grumbled, and Bradley could practically hear him rolling his eyes.

“That’s because your photoshoots should all take place in bed, with only myself as the photographer, Colin.” Bradley responded, closing the gap between himself and the door to their bedroom. Just as he was about to grab at the handle of the bedroom, the door swung open. Colin was in the beginning stages of rolling up the sleeves to his plaid shirt, the light in his blue eyes dancing with mirth at Bradley’s surprise.

Bradley hungrily took in the sight of his boyfriend. Colin had decided on black skinny jeans that hugged his legs and ass in all the right ways and a grey t-shirt visible under the few open buttons of the red and black plaid layered over it. Colin had left his five o-clock shadow, and his dark hair was styled in a sideways sweep that seemed to make the blues of his eyes pop even more.

“How do I look?” Colin asked, grinning as he took in the look on Bradley’s face, “I wasn’t sure how casual I was supposed to dress, ya know, because I have no bloody idea where we’re going.”

Bradley smirked and closed the few feet between him and Colin, looping his finger through the belt loops on Colin’s skinnies and tugging until their bodies were flush together.

“You look amazing,” Bradley admitted before leaning in for a chaste kiss. Colin broke away to mutter says you into Bradley’s flushed lips and then returned to Bradley’s lips for a much less chaste kiss.

This time it was Bradley who broke away from the kiss and immediately regretted it when he was the pout on Colin’s face.

“We’re gonna be late,” Bradley reiterated, a pitiful defense of his actions and Colin rolled his eyes.

“Prat.”

“Idiot.”

Colin scowled at Bradley’s amused smirk for thirty seconds before conceding, “Okay fine, let’s go.”

Bradley’s amused smirk grew into a full blown grin as Colin moved to sidestep around him, still scowling.

“Hey Cols?” Bradley asked, turning to follow Colin out of their bedroom and down the hallway.

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

Bradley heard rather than saw the smile tugging at the edges of Colin’s mouth.

“I love you too, you pillock.”

They drove for thirty minutes, Colin interrogating Bradley on where he was being taken during the entire drive. Bradley just grinned over at Colin and grabbed his hand, rubbing his thumb idly over the top of Colin’s hand as they traded quips.

“Why won’t you tell me where we’re going?” Colin fired off, after a persistent stream of ‘you can tell me where we’re going nows’ didn’t work.

“Because it’s a secret, Colin.” Bradley responded, glancing over at Colin. He looked even more beautiful in the dim streetlights than he had in the apartment; the fast moving lights creating illusive shadows across his cheekbones.

“But why is it a secret?” Colin pressed on, “Oh Gods, you’re not making me go watch footie are you?”

Bradley chuckled, “that was only once and from what I recall, you didn’t end up minding the match that much.”

“Well, that might have had something to do with the impromptu blowjob I got in the men’s room.”

Bradley grinned.

A few minutes later Colin tested out a new tactic.

“If you don’t tell me where we’re going I’m going to jump out of the car!”

“Really…” Bradley mused, “And ruin your favorite shirt?”

Colin looked down as an afterthought and scowled that Bradley was right.

“Besides,” Bradley continued, chuckling to himself, “I wouldn’t let you jump out of the car. I care about your physical wellbeing too much for that.”

Colin just rolled his eyes at his boyfriend.

“Can you at least tell me how much longer it’s gonna be?” Colin begged.

“Actually, we’re just about here.” Bradley answered, freeing his hand from Colin’s to flick on his blinker.

Colin sat up a little straighter in his seat, looking around with interest gleaming in his eyes.

Bradley maneuvered his BMW over the rocky backroad slowly, attempting to avoid the biggest potholes from ripping up the underside of his car. He followed the road for another ten minutes before they hit the dead end, slowed down to a stop and clicked the key out of the ignition.

“We’re here.” Bradley grinned.

Colin looked out the windshield skeptically. The only thing the headlights illuminated in front of them was a thick forest of trees, foliage and underbrush.

“And where, exactly, is here?”

“Just follow me.” Bradley responded, climbing out of the car and Colin obeyed, following his boyfriend’s lead. Bradley grabbed a flashlight from the backseat, made sure his beamer was locked and extended his hand to Colin. “Come on, baby.”

Colin grabbed his boyfriend’s outstretched hand, twining their fingers and nodded. The darkness was setting in around them comfortably, and Bradley trained the flashlight on the ground; the stars providing enough light for both of them to see their surroundings enough. Bradley wove through the trees with the ease of someone who had done this a plentiful amount of times before.

After about ten minutes of walking, Bradley slowed and turned to look at Colin.

“Listen. Do you hear that?”

Beyond the gentle rustling of the leaves, and the creaks and groans of the trees around them, Colin could hear a faint crashing sound. He’d be lying if he said his interest hadn’t been piqued from the moment Bradley had told him that he had planned a date for them, but now he was practically dying to know what Bradley had planned.

“Are those waves?”

“Yes, Colin.”

They kept moving, and Colin noticed the trees began thinning out, and the breeze had picked up to steady little gusts that rippled the edges of his shirt.

Bradley had continually gotten quieter and quieter the closer they got to the forest’s edge. Colin opened his mouth to ask Bradley if the cat had stolen his tongue but something about his boyfriend’s air and composure made Colin think better of it.

Those three minutes stretched out into what felt like forever for Bradley and the closer they got to the beach, the more Bradley’s heart pounded into his ribcage, dying to escape the confines of his body. The only thing that held his anxiety at bay was the warmth of Colin’s finger intertwined with his own.

Bradley took a steadying breath, looked at Colin, who was looking back at him, interest shining back in those ocean blue eyes and lead him through the final layer of light foliage.

Colin gasped.

The beach was absolutely beautiful, with rough jagged cliffs closing in the beach from prying eyes. The stars above were reflected in the darkness of the ocean, and just that sight alone took Colin’s breath away. The darkness around them was eradicated by the hundreds of tiny little tea lights, outlining a path to the small table that was set up in the middle of the beach.

“Bradley,” Colin whispered, the thickening emotion strangling all the words he wanted to say. Colin detangled their hands, using the freedom to take in even more of his surroundings.

There was a bottle of wine on ice sitting next to the table, and two platters of delicious smelling food laid out on top of the table. There was a dozen red and yellow roses in a clear glass vase. The wind was creating dancing shadows, flickering across the fine sand in a way that mesmerized Colin’s every sense.

“Wha-,” Colin turned back to find Bradley knelt down on one knee. He suddenly found it very hard to breathe, tears springing into his eyes.

“Cols,” Bradley began, his voice trembling slightly, “I’ve never made a promise to you that I haven’t followed through on and so I’m here to make you a few more. I promise to always let you be yourself, no matter how stubborn that may be. I promise to remain loyal to you, in the flesh and the soul, for now and for always. I promise to pick you up when you’re down, and to carry you when you’re unable to fight any farther. I promise to stay with you through sickness and in health, through any and all feats we may have to endure. And most of all, I promise to love you forever and for always. You have stolen my heart and my soul, yet in the same instant I’ve never felt more complete in my entire life. I love you more than life itself.”

Bradley took a steadying breath, gazing up at Colin’s face. His smiling features were frozen, a light smile touching those perfect lips. His gaze was intense, tears welling slowly in the bottom lids of his azure eyes. Yet, the way he looked at Bradley; with such a raw, stripped trust and love was burned into the back of Bradley’s eyelids. Gods, you’re beautiful.

“Will you, Colin Morgan, do me the honor of being my husband?”

Before Bradley even had time to acknowledge what was happening, Colin through himself onto the beach, begging, needing to feel Bradley beneath his fingertips. They both toppled into the sand, Colin laying more on top of Bradley than the sands of the beach. Colin kissed him, his hands on either side of Bradley’s face. And they kissed and kissed and kissed, both of them oblivious to their surroundings; focussed only on the other’s erratic heartbeat.

Slowly they broke apart, gasping for air.

“So,” Bradley asked, trying to go for a nonchalant tone, “Is that a yes?”

Colin grinned.

“Yes, Bradley, yes, absolutely, one hundred times yes.”

#brolin #colin morgan #bradley james #colin morgan/bradley james #fic #merlin #short quick and sweet #mywriting #let me know what you think!!

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battingonjakku · 7 years

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A guide to the 18 counties and why you should/shouldn’t support each one

Hello! The county season is about to start which means a lot of chatter about it here for the next 6 months, so if you’re looking for a team to support, here’s a quick guide to choosing one – with help from several of our lovely cricket fam.

There are 18 to get through, so let’s get a crackin’

Derbyshire

Overseas players: Jeevan Mendis, Imran Tahir, Matt Henry

Recent internationals: Gary Wilson (Ire), Hardus Viljoen (SA, Kolpak)

England prospects: Harvey Hosein is a very promising wicketkeeper, though at a time when England are blessed with so many

Why you should support them: The one and only Michael Holding is the club president, and if you’re a Matt Henry fan this is the team for you, having recently signed for the T20 Blast. And Harvey Hosein is a qt.

Why you shouldn’t support them: I’m not sure I know anyone who supports them, so it could be lonely (I DON’T MEAN THIS AS A WAY OF DISRESPECT IF THERE ARE DERBY FANS HERE PLEASE COME OUT THE WOODWORK)

Durham

Overseas players: Stephen Cook, Tom Latham

Recent internationals: Ben Stokes, Mark Wood, Keaton Jennings

England prospects: Jack Burnham, Paul Coughlin

Why you should support them: BECAUSE OF THE UNJUST TREATMENT OF THE ECB, also they have the best academy in the country and are generally good eggs – it is, after all, the home of Paul Collingwood. And if you’re in the area, you’re close to @bibliolicious and @omgbroady too.

Why you shouldn’t support them: honestly I can’t think of one, support Durham.

Essex

Overseas players: Mohammad Amir, Neil Wagner

Recent internationals: Alastair Cook, Ravi Bopara

England prospects: Jamie Porter, Tom Westley

Why you should support them: if you’re a fan of Alastair Cook there will be a good three months of him (hopefully) churning out the runs for them in the CC, plus they have excellent comedy cricket through one of its kings: Ravi Bopara.

Why you shouldn’t support them: because it hurts too much, believe me. 2016 saw promotion in the CC but 2017 could be a battle after the big retirements of Graham Napier and David Masters.

Glamorgan

Overseas players: Jacques Rudolph

Recent internationals: Ruaidhri Smith (Scotland), Timm van der Gugten (Netherlands), Colin Ingram (Kolpak)

England prospects: Aneurin Donald

Why you should support them: CYMRU AM BYTH, The Only Welsh Team, putting the Wales into the ECB (wait a sec...)

Why you shouldn’t support them: No trophy since (I believe) 2004, and whilst they’re improving in LO formats particularly, they’re not obvious contenders in any competitions.

Gloucestershire

Overseas players: Michael Klinger, Cameron Bancroft, Andrew Tye

Recent internationals: :((

England prospects: Craig Miles, Matt Taylor

Why you should support them: Particularly strong one day team with a great history, and winning the 50 over cup against the odds in 2015. With Michael Klinger leading the way, definitely a team to watch in LO competitions.

Why you shouldn’t support them: If first class success is what matters to you, they’re not a great pick in the present or even history - never having been official county champions.

Hampshire

Overseas players: George Bailey

Recent internationals: James Vince, Liam Dawson, Reece Topley, Kyle Abbott (Kolpak), Rilee Rossouw (Kolpak)

England prospects: Mason Crane, Tom Alsop

Why you should support them: Michael Carberry is a reason in himeslf. Not only has he made his way back to training after treatment for cancer, he’s also a great influence and support for younger batsmen around the country. In Mason Crane they have one of the most hotly-tipped players in the country.

Why you shouldn’t support them: Not at all popular after Abbott and Rossouw ended their international careers to sign on Kolpak deals, and the beneficiaries of Durham’s relegation by the ECB last year - topped with their chairman saying it was the right thing to do

Kent

Overseas players: None so far, though Adam Milne may be on his way.

Recent internationals: Sam Billings, James Tredwell

England prospects: Daniel Bell-Drummond, Sam Northeast, Matt Coles

Why you should support them: Generally cricket’s good guys, plus the county ground has a tree! (and they literally had a new tree prepared for when the old one fell down, it’s one of my favourite quirks in county cricket). Also a team that really has an emphasis on home-grown talent.

Why you shouldn’t support them: Can perhaps a bit too unlucky - finishing second in Div 2 last year, the year when there was no promotion for coming second. And their kit is among the worst on the scene.

Lancashire (with help from @latenightwatchman)

Overseas players: Ryan McLaren, James Faulkner

Recent internationals: James Anderson, Jos Buttler, Young Haseeb Hameed, Stephen Parry, Shivnarine Chanderpaul (Kolpak), Dane Vilas (Kolpak)

England prospects: Saqib Masood, Liam Livingstone

Why you should support them: They have a group of really exciting young batsmen coming to the fore: Hameed, Livingstone, Jones, and Davies. Giles did really well in pushing them (perhaps sometimes out of necessity) and hopefully we'll see more of the same this year. And Hameed, Jones and Davies are adorable, in their own little ways.

Why you shouldn’t support them: it’s Lancashire. They have taken a couple of Kolpak signings this year, so we might see less of an emphasis on youth. Also the OT pitches last year were often really dull to try and prevent relegation, which didn't always make for exciting cricket.

Leicestershire (with help from @knockmeforsix)

Overseas players: Clint McKay, Sharjeel Khan, Cameron Delport, Luke Ronchi

Recent internationals: Kevin O’Brien (Ireland)

England prospects: Zak Chappell

Why you should support them: the perennial underdog who went two seasons without winning a first class game, but had a better year of 2016. Also a great producer of England talent over the years, including Stuart Broad and James Taylor. And Grace Road is adorable, with cheap hot dogs and the comm box being a glorified shed on the pavilion.

Why you shouldn’t support them: Here I quote: ‘we are not very good at cricket so if you like winning we are not the team for you’ (courtesy of Charlie)

Middlesex (with help from @twistsofsilver)

Overseas players: Brendon McCullum, Adam Voges

Recent internationals: Steven Finn, Eoin Morgan, Paul Stirling (Ireland)

England prospects: Toby Roland-Jones, Nick Gubbins, Olly Rayner, Dawid Malan, Tom Helm

Why you should support them: the reigning champions! of the CC and can be expected to challenge strongly again this year. And if you sit in the pavilion you have entertainment like Tim Murtagh breaking the MCC gate and looking sheepish. Also, Steven Finn. And Lord’s.

Why you shouldn’t support them: I saw Nick Compton get a century once. I can’t remember it. Also, for all its glory, Lord’s can produce some really lifeless pitches.

Northamptonshire

Overseas players: None from what I can tell

Recent internationals: Ben Duckett

England prospects: Graeme White, Richard Gleeson

Why you should support them: despite being underdogs with the smallest of budgets, have formed one of the best T20 teams - winning in 2016 & 2013 and coming second in 2015. James Taylor has just joined as a coach, too.

Why you shouldn’t support them: Not always popular for taking a number of players on Kolpaks - not the only culprits, but called out on it a lot

Nottinghamshire

Overseas players: Daniel Christian

Recent internationals: Stuart Broad, Alex Hales, Jake Ball

England prospects: I’m not sure if Harry Gurney counts, already having had a stint in the side, but his name often comes up among more left field options.

Why you should support them: A good bunch of players who have underperformed recently. Led by one of the most respected wicketkeepers on the circuit in Chris Read, in what will be his swansong season.

Why you shouldn’t support them: A richer team who have been accused of poaching players from ‘smaller’ counties (often Leicestershire tbh).

Somerset

Overseas players: Dean Elgar

Recent internationals: Josh Davey (Scotland), Michael Leask (Scotland), Roelof van der Merwe (Netherlands), Paul van Meekeren (Netherlands)

England prospects: Jack Leach, James Hildreth (still clinging here), Tom Abell, Craig Overton, Jamie Overton

Why you should support them: A really talented bunch too often overlooked by England selectors, also Marcus Trescothick is still going strong aged 41 and is a hero. Came close to winning the Championship in 2016.

Why you shouldn’t support them: They have a brilliant track record...at finishing second. Prepare your hopes to rise and be crushed at the final moment.

Surrey

Overseas players: Kumar Sangakkara, Aaron Finch

Recent internationals: Jason Roy, Zafar Ansari, Gareth Batty

England prospects: Sam Curran, Tom Curran, Scott Borthwick, Ben Foakes

Why you should support them: a really good group of players, blending experience with a lot of hot prospects for England. Tom and Sam Curran in particular are two of the most exciting players on the circuit.

Why you shouldn’t support them: they’re the team that people often love to hate, and one of the richer teams in the country who are often accused of buying too much of their talent (or at least the ones called out on it the most)

Sussex

Overseas players: Vernon Philander, Ross Taylor

Recent internationals: Chris Jordan, Tymal Mills, Matt Machan (Scotland), Ed Joyce (Ireland), Stiaan van Zyl (Kolpak), David Wiese (Kolpak)

England prospects: Delray Rawlins, Ollie Robinson

Why you should support them: A team with a good mix of experienced county pros and younger players, with the always-underappreciated (in this country certainly) Luke Wright leading the way. Also they’re by the sea which means nice instagrams.

Why you shouldn’t support them: Have had a couple of quiet seasons – including winning just one 50 over match in the last two years. Have taken a few high profile Kolpaks, too.

Warwickshire

Overseas players: Jeetan Patel

Recent internationals: Chris Woakes, Ian Bell, William Porterfield (Ireland)

England prospects: Sam Hain, Olly Stone, Josh Poysden

Why you should support them: Home of Ian Bell and Jonathan Trott, what other reasons do you want. Current 50 overs champions, too, plus a good crop of quicks - including The Nicest Man In Cricket, Chris Woakes

Why you shouldn’t support them: If you’re not a fan of the idea of franchises, their T20 team Birmingham Bears is the most obvious one to have gone in this direction, much to the ire of many of their own fans.

Worcestershire

Overseas players: John Hastings, Mitchell Santner

Recent internationals: Moeen Ali

England prospects: Brett D’Oliveira, Joe Clarke, Ross Whiteley

Why you should support them: the perennial yo-yo team, so must be due a promotion. A rising limited-overs team with lots of promising young talent, also they have one of the most picturesque grounds in the country. Jack Shantry is also something of a cult hero, and Tom Fell’s successful return in 2016 after overcoming cancer one of last year’s most heartwarming moments.

Why you shouldn’t support them: the perennial yo-yo team, so if you don’t want to deal with the emotions this brings with it, they might not be for you. Prone to moments of glory and moments of despair.

Yorkshire

Overseas players: Peter Handscomb, Travis Head

Recent internationals: Joe Root, Jonny Bairstow, Liam Plunkett, David Willey, Gary Ballance, Adil Rashid

England prospects: Jack Leaning, Matt Fisher

Why you should support them: I mean they’re my favourite team...also featuring lots of familiar faces of England’s present and past (Bresnan, Sidebottom, Lyth). Will expect to be challenging for the title come September after winning the Championship in 2014 and 2015.

Why you shouldn’t support them: they’re a team people love to hate, and the team everyone wants to beat, partly just to shut them up - which, um, is probably fair

#disclaimer: i may have missed some players here and there #thanks to those who gave a hand <3 #feel free to state your case if you think there's more to add :D #county cricket #cricket #county countdown

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spoken-word-to-written-word · 7 years

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Victoria Morgan - "How to Succeed in Heartbreak"

How to succeed in heartbreak Without Really Trying

First do nothing

Become one with your couch

Eating whole stacks of oreos like leaning towers of feelings

Watch Jane Austen adaptations until your eyes become raisins

Relish in Colin Firth emerging from the lake in a white shirt

If you must do something, drink, but keep it classy

Put your cheap wine in a glass, you aren’t a pirate

Talk to yourself

Talk to yourself in the mirror

On public transportation

In the middle of the fountain at the mall!

Because there are things you never got to say,

And you don’t have to swallow them.

Join Tinder.

Make your profile picture a model and talk to no one

Just keep swiping until you have carpal tunnel

That way you can reject 50 people a minute

And it feels like killing ants!

Kiss as many people as you need

To get the stamp of his lips off of your brain

Go to museums

Realize other things have history too

Play hide-and-go-seek with your REM cycle

We’re not sure what’s worse to wake up from

The nightmares about your sides splitting open

Or the dreams about him holding your jaw like it meant something to him

You might as well tape your eyelids to your forehead

Because at least you can lie to yourself when you’re awake

Stay up until three, three thirty, four

Brew tea with the bags under your eyes

Write.

Write until you use every metaphor in your library

You start using the same one over and over

Because there’s only so many ways to describe being destroyed.

But once you get there, that’s just the foundation

Next gather up all the chinks in your chain

Fasten them together

Make chainmail and ride that bitch into battle

Take his name, the one that still hurts to say and use it as a war cry

Then actually cry because there is nothing shameful about clearing your eyes

Do not pick yourself up

Do not be okay because heartbreak is not about being okay

It’s about remembering that you were okay before

It’s about saying fuck okay

It’s about taking all of your broken pieces and building yourself a castle

Because I don’t care who you are, you’re a goddamn queen.

It’s about saying fuck this poem.

No one succeeds at heartbreak

I built myself a throne room out of pizza boxes and empty lunchables

And I can’t stop crying into my Campbell’s chicken noodle soup.

But one day I’ll cry myself a fountain of youth

Let’s go back to the beginning

I’m tired of self-help tips and friendly pick-me-ups

I drank bottles.

Bottles and bottles pretending their mouths belonged to someone else

But I’m done feeling sorry for myself

Because why apologize for loving until you burst.

My capacity to feel needs no pardon

My heart needs no mending

I am not broken

I’m just a little more explosive

Video Performance:

youtube

#spoken word #transcribed lyrics #spokenwordtowrittenword #how to succeed in heartbreak #Victoria Morgan #not orignial #not mine #heartbreak #love #poetry #slam poetry

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dontshootmespence · 7 years

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Passive-Aggressive Partnership

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 @coveofmemories

Part 9

Note: I wanted to have one of the team members interview a victim in Spanish. I used Google translate, so there will undoubtedly be mistakes. Just, bear with me.

—–

“College roommates Colin Kincaid and Robert Mobley were found in an alleyway outside a local bar with their genitals cut off,” Hotch started as Reid walked into the Bureau that morning. After getting changed into new clothes, he and Y/N took separate cars so she could get to examining these two victims. “By the lack of blood in the alleyway, it’s likely that they weren’t killed there, but dumped.”

As JJ rifled through the pictures, handing one off to Spencer who was just sitting down, she noted the brutality of the wounds. “The one victim looks like a clean slice, the other…”

“The other looks like it was ripped off,” Morgan said, shaking with the thought. For some reason anytime something happened to one guy’s parts, it was a community feel, with all guys subtly protecting themselves.

“Oh my god,” Garcia exclaimed, walking into the room to see the grotesque picture on the screen. Freezing in place, she pointed at Rossi, who was holding the remote, and then pointed at the screen. “Please, tell me when it’s gone. I don’t need that in 1080p.”

“All good,” he said, causing the pictures to vanish and the victims’ pictures to come up instead. “We all have hard copies anyway.”

While Penelope booted up her laptop to start a general search, Emily made her contribution. “Whoever we’re dealing with definitely has a lot of rage built up. These men could be surrogates for someone that abused them in the past.”

“Considering the injuries, they could also be sexual assailants themselves and this is about revenge,” Reid said. For the only wound to be in the genital area was odd, unless that was the source of the unsub’s anger for one reason or another.

“Garcia,” Hotch said, taking what Reid said and running with it, “Do either of the victims have a record?”

Garcia slapped away on the keyboard, the pitter-patter of keys sounding like a light falling of rain. “Oh do they ever,” she started, immediately pulling up not only their records, but two articles from local papers and posting them to the TV screen. “Colin and Robert were both accused of raping a recent immigrant to the United States, Magdalena Sanchez. Ms. Sanchez claims that the two raped her while she was on her way home from work one day last spring, but both boys have fathers with quite a lot of moolah to throw around if you know what I mean.” As she filtered through the information, Emily said what everyone was thinking.

“I hate the fact that we have to find who did this and put them away.”

“Me too,” Rossi replied. “But we can’t have vigilantes running around.”

Emily sighed, “I know, but I wish people couldn’t play the system.”

“Me too. It’s disgusting,” Garcia interrupted, “but Girl Genius here has a little more information for you. Not only did both boys have the best defense lawyer in the area on retainer, courtesy of their fathers of course, but the fathers also made generous donations to the college, presumably to have them downplay what happened.”

Spencer scoffed. “Disgusting.”

“Our likely profile is that of a vigilante,” Hotch said, starting up with their orders for the day. “Which means we are already ahead of the game in regards to tracking him down. JJ, I want you to go to the college and interview the dean. Given that these boys had the best defense lawyer in the area, I doubt we are going to be able to interview the fathers just yet. Morgan, you and Rossi go to the alley where they were found. Emily, I want you to go and interview Ms. Sanchez. And Reid, you and I will head to the ME’s office to see if she’s made on progress on our two victims.”

—–

On the way to the ME’s office, which at this point, Reid wanted to be going to alone, Hotch hinted at the topic of the two of them. “She’s good,” Reid said, wanting to be truthful but also not wanting to divulge too much. “We’re good. And we have no problem working together just so you know.”

“I never doubted that,” Hotch said, pulling up to the ME’s office. “Let’s go see if she has any information for us.”

If Reid had come alone, he would’ve walked in and kissed her (even though it had only been a few hours since they’d last seen each other), but with Hotch in tow, he knew it wouldn’t be appropriate. Although neither was the makeout session in her office before they started dating. “Morning, Agent Hotchner,” she greeted. If Reid were her, he would’ve said good morning to both, because leaving him out would undoubtedly lead his boss to believe that he’d spent the night at her place. “There honestly isn’t a whole lot to discuss when it comes to cause of death. Both men died from loss of blood directly related to having their penises cut off,” she grimaced.

“We noticed from the crime scene photos that one looked like it was cleaner than the other,” Reid said, attempting to act as professional as possible. It was a little difficult considering she’d decided to wear a jewel green tank top and blazer that morning. The top was dangerously low, but she didn’t seem to care. That was another reason he liked her, much more confident and carefree than he.

When Y/N looked up she could see a smile paint the corners of Hotchner’s face. Of course he knew about last night. Spencer only worked with the best after all. But if he wanted to be aloof about the two of them then that was fine by her. “Yes, one was cleaner than the other. Robert’s looks like it was cut off with a straight-edge knife, while Colin’s was removed with a serrated knife. Given that the only wound was the unfortunate appendage removal, I can’t tell what kind of knife was used on Robert, but Colin’s I will be able to tell the exact model after a little more time. I just haven’t gotten to that yet.”

“So two different knives, or two killers with a different knife?” Spencer thought out loud.

Hotch knew the unlikelihood of two different killers in a situation like this - that at least from the looks of it - was very pointedly about sexual revenge, but he also knew it couldn’t be ruled out either. “It’s likely just different knives, but this early on, we obviously can’t rule out the possibility of two killers.”

“Do you have any inkling about what this was about?” Y/N asked. She knew Spencer would tell her if they were alone, but with Agent Hotchner here, it was a toss up. “This seems like a very pointed attack, at least from a medical point of view.”

“Obviously, we aren’t sure yet, but both men were accused of rape. Never convicted,” he replied.

Y/N looked up, glancing between the head agent and her boyfriend, wondering if she should say what she was thinking, but if she knew Emily, and she was pretty sure she did, Emily had already said what she was thinking. “Do you have to find who did this? Because I’m sure you will, but I’m also not sure if I want you too.”

“Unfortunately yes,” Spencer said. “That’s all you can tell us for now, right?”

She shook her head, promising she’d be in contact later with any knew information. “Keep me updated.”

“We will,” Hotch said. “Thank you.”

As Hotch left the room, Spencer turned around quickly to give Y/N a kiss goodbye. “See you later.”

“Bye, babe,” she said. “Let me know if you need anything.”

—–

Back at the local station, Morgan, Hotch, Reid and Rossi went over the information they’d gathered; Emily and JJ had yet to return. “Y/N said that Robert was cut with a straight-edge knife, while Colin was cut with a serrated knife,” Spencer said as he sat down at the table.

Hotch had stopped by the lead officer and overheard a few of the officers talking about Colin and Robert’s case. Apparently, the cops didn’t believe the men were rapists. This precinct was also the one that handled their case. Carefully, he shut the door and called Garcia. “Garcia.”

“You’ve reached the fountain of all knowledge, boss man. How may I help you?”

“Garcia, I need you to check into the financial background’s of the cops at the station, specifically the ones that handled Colin and Robert’s case.”

“You think the fathers of the victims paid off some of the cops too?” she asked incredulously. “If they took any nefarious bribes, your minion will be sure to find the evidence. I will hit you back when I have something.”

“What did the two of you find in the alleyway?” Hotch asked of Morgan and Rossi.

Morgan deferred to Rossi as he was looking through papers. “There was minimal blood in the alley. There’s no way they were killed there especially if Y/N said that they died from loss of blood. It was definitely a body dump.”

“So all we need to find is the actual crime scene, the murder weapons, and the killer or killers,” Spencer said unenthusiastically. “Hopefully, Emily and JJ come back with something useful, because right now, we don’t have much.”

—–

Knocking on the door outside Magdalena Sanchez’s apartment, Emily waited for the chance to interview her. It was unlikely that she was the killer, but they needed to rule her out. When she answered the door, she could see how scared she was, her eyes darting from side to side and down to badge Emily was holding.

“Hola, Mi nombre es Emily Prentiss. Estoy con el FBI. Puedo hacerle algunas preguntas sobre Colin Kincaid y Robert Mobley?”

The woman began to close the door. Emily thought she’d lost her chance, but she unlocked it, inviting her inside with a quiet smile. “Que hay de ellos?”

She began by telling her that both of her accused rapists were dead - the relief washing over her as tears cascaded down her cheeks. “Aye dios mio,” she exclaimed as her hands came up to cover her face. She has been scared to go to work. With them gone, she might finally be able to not live in fear - at least from them. Despite all she gained from their deaths, Emily knew the minute she said they’d died, that Magdalena wasn’t the one that killed them.

“Sabes quién pudo haber hecho esto?” Do you know who could’ve done this? Magdalena said she didn’t have anyone here. Her family was back home because she’d come here for work. Since she got here, about a year and a half prior, she’d been working for a cleaning company that made a point of hiring immigrants needing a fresh start. Emily wondered if anyone made a point of asking about the two men before.

“Not personally,” she said, but someone she didn’t know, a man, had asked her if she knew the two men, pointing to them in an article and asking if she was the victim.

“And you don’t know who he was?” Emily asked. This was a true vigilante.

Magdalenda shook her head. “I’ve never seen him b-before,” she stuttered, “But if he killed them, he is mi héroe.” Before leaving, Prentiss asked if Magdalena would come to the station the next morning to give a description of the man. Thankfully, she agreed.

“Thank you so much for your time, Ms. Sanchez,” Emily said, placing her hand over hers as she got up to leave. Magdalena definitely wasn’t their killer, but at least one of them was probably this mystery man, taking revenge on rapists that bought their way through the system.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fic #dontshootmespence #passive aggressive partnership

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a-leo-baby-girl · 4 years

Text

I’m watching Interview With The Vampire and the way young Tom Cruise look like now Colin Morgan, especially their side profile kinda sent

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biofunmy · 5 years

Text

Leslie Jones Is Leaving ‘S.N.L.’ Here Are Her 10 Funniest Moments.

“Saturday Night Live” won’t be quite the same without Leslie Jones, who is leaving the show. Who else will provide spot-on impersonations of Whoopi Goldberg, Omarosa Manigault Newman and Oprah Winfrey? Who else will come up with better nicknames for Colin Jost? (“Flat White Privilege Latte.” “Little Salty Oyster Cracker.”) Jones was a part of the “S.N.L.” cast for only a little more than five years, but she leaves behind a lot to remember.

Jones was not always beloved on the internet. She endured racial and misogynist harassment on Twitter, and in 2016, between seasons of “S.N.L.,” her website was hacked and nude photos stolen from her iCloud were published online. Jones addressed the matter on the show’s season premiere in probably the best way possible. “The only person who can hack me is me,” she defiantly declared on Weekend Update. “I ain’t shy. If you want to see Leslie Jones naked, just ask.” She had faced worse things than online trolls, she reminded everyone, and she’d been roasted by professional comedians. Anyone with computer skills was wasting them hacking or harassing her, she said — you could be renewing your driver’s license from home instead, or deleting everyone else’s profile from Tinder, or even building a robotic perfect man. “Forget about Westworld,” she said. “I’m talking about LeslieWorld.” Who doesn’t want to go there?

[“I just like to bring the funny,” Leslie Jones told our reporter.]

‘U.E.S.’

One of Jones’s own favorite things about LeslieWorld was her Manhattan neighborhood, the often-underestimated Upper East Side: “Y’all say it’s boring. Y’all say it’s homogeneous. But y’all don’t know it like I do!” She loves the great bakeries, the accessible taxis and the subway trains with a “nobody peed in here” smell. “I thought at 50 I’d be broke or dead, but now I’m a lady from Compton in line for fresh bread,” she rapped. It’s the little things, yo.

‘Alabama Abortion Ban’

When Alabama state senators voted to ban abortions and passed a law that would jail doctors who performed them, an angry Jones took to Weekend Update in a red robe, á la “The Handmaid’s Tale,” to declare the move a war on women. She later dropped the robe to reveal a T-shirt reading “Mine,” with an arrow pointing to her uterus, and she declared her solidarity with all women who might feel “scared or confused.” “You can’t make me small or put me in a box. I’m six feet tall and 233 pounds. Ain’t no box big enough to hold me. And I know, because one time I tried to mail myself to a dude.” Point made.

‘Hidden Figures’

Jones sees herself as “Pam Grier from about 15 years ago, and Malia Obama 10 years from now,” and she likes to rock boats. In this Weekend Update bit on Black History Month, she used the film about the vital role black women played at NASA in the 1960s as a jumping off point to argue that black history shouldn’t be relegated to one month a year. After all, if she had known that a black man, Garrett Morgan, invented traffic lights, she might have respected them more when driving! And then there was the mechanical engineer Philip B. Downing: “A black person invented the mailbox,” Jones said. “How did you all miss that, white people?” Sometimes we need Jones to point out the obvious.

‘Naked & Afraid: Celebrity Edition’

In this 2016 spoof of “Naked & Afraid” the guest host Peter Dinklage was …very afraid. Jones showed up nude, tried to cuddle him for body warmth, and kept calling him by his character name on “Game of Thrones.” (“Don’t start with me on Day 1, Tyrion!”) Pretty much anytime Jones gets into “Game of Thrones” territory — in her “Game of Jones” TV viewing parties with Seth Meyers, her popular live-tweet commentaries or “Thrones”-themed skits on “S.N.L.” — she’s on fire. She’s Leslie Dracarys Jones!

‘Etiquette Lesson’

Many of Jones’s characters come up against racism, sexism and classism, and one of the more hilarious of these encounters involves royal etiquette lessons — and corporal punishment — in preparation for the christening of the son of Britain’s Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. The walloping is unleashed by Emma Thompson, who is trying to teach Jones, playing a distant cousin of the duchess of Sussex, how to behave at a royal tea. This is high-grade slapstick — the blows really seem to take Jones by surprise, and the nasty undercurrent gives the skit a dark bite. Obvious cue-card reading is an “S.N.L.” staple, but Jones and Thompson manage to avoid it; they seem incredibly present together.

‘House Hunters’

Jones is a great ranter, but she can play it (relatively) straight, too, as she did in this spoof of “House Hunters.” Jones and her husband (Liev Schreiber) are reviewing on-the-market homes to buy and finding that they have increasingly absurd drawbacks: vertical floors, tubs filled with magicians, toilets in the ceiling. It gets pretty weird, but Jones nails the tricky comedic timing with perfect equanimity. It’s a gift.

Jones and a fellow cast member Kyle Mooney appeared in a series of digital shorts depicting a fictitious relationship (it involved a secret marriage and a son named Little Lorne). Then the faux couple experimented with actually getting physical (although not actually) in the dressing room of show host Paul Rudd — who inconveniently showed up and joined in the fun. (Interestingly, he seemed more interested in Mooney than Jones.) Is this happening? Probably not anymore.

Can a bitch get a beef bowl? Jones’s very first appearance on Weekend Update in 2014 (after she’d joined the show’s writers room) remains her most controversial. In a hilarious rant, she compared her modern-day dating prospects to what she might have found during the time of slavery. (She joked she would be the “No. 1 slave draft pick.”) She later defended this bit on Twitter, explaining that comedy comes from pain, and she vowed to hit even “harder and deeper” from then on. Which she definitely did.

Honorable Mention: ‘Gift Wrap’

Comedians break character on “S.N.L.” all the time, and Jones is no exception. Most memorable was a holiday-themed skit she did with the host James Franco, who squirted fake blood directly into her mouth — maybe an accident, maybe not. This was live television, of course — Jones started to vomit, and struggled to hold it back. She wasn’t able to deliver her scripted lines, but she still managed to be funny, cycling through a series of very realistic chokes, coughs and winces. Even under duress, Jones delivered: Anything for a laugh.

Sahred From Source link Arts

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funface2 · 5 years

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Leslie Jones Is Leaving ‘S.N.L.’ Here Are Her 10 Funniest Moments. – The New York Times

“Saturday Night Live” won’t be quite the same without Leslie Jones, whose departure was reported Tuesday by various news outlets, all citing anonymous sources. Who else will provide spot-on impersonations of Whoopi Goldberg, Omarosa Manigault Newman and Oprah Winfrey? Who else will come up with a better line of jive for Colin Jost? (“Flat White Privilege Latte.” “Little Salty Oyster Cracker.”) Jones was a part of the “S.N.L.” cast for only a little more than five years, but she leaves behind a lot to remember.

“Being Hacked”

youtube

“U.E.S.”

“Hidden Figures”

“Naked & Afraid: Celebrity Edition”

“Alabama Abortion Ban”

“Etiquette Lesson”

“Leslie & Kyle”

“House Hunters”

“Slave Draft”

Honorable Mention: “Gift Wrap”

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from Funface https://funface.net/funny-news/leslie-jones-is-leaving-s-n-l-here-are-her-10-funniest-moments-the-new-york-times/

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