#context: i'm nonbinary/genderfluid now

[l-a-l-o-u]

when i was a kid i found this european comic from the 80s about a tribe of smurf-like little guys living in the woods who were agender (but male presenting, sort of) for most of the year, and then during their mating season one of them would randomly become female and all the others would be male. and they would all flock to her and give her gifts and attempt to seduce her, and she would blush and be like "heehee!" and then pick one to go into the bushes with her (you know.)

anyway i think reading that just as i was hitting puberty permanently altered my brain chemistry

#lalou yells #i'd have to dig deep to find this comic again but i know that it was published in spirou #i say 80s but it MIGHT have been late 70s. my uncle has these collections of comics from when he and my mom were kids that i borrowed #everything really is foreshadowing when you think about it #context: i'm nonbinary/genderfluid now

[cardentist]

Fam how can one be trans in the direction of their assigned sex? I'm not even trying to make the idea sound ridiculous or anything. I'm genuinely curious and want to understand. I thought the whole meaning of trans was that you feel or act in the opposite direction of your assigned sex; if you're transfem but you're afab then to me that's just cisgender??? But like please explain to me how that's not the case if that's what you and others strongly feel so I may grow my compassion

Context: [Link]

well ! while I personally am not intersex, I DO want to highlight intersex people first and foremost.

gender and sex are very Very complex, and I think generally people don't consider the way that being intersex can play a big role in that!

there are intersex people who are afab who are also trans women, there are intersex people who are amab who are trans men, there are intersex people with many Many different relationships with sex and gender and anywhere in between !

an afab person can be born with masculine sex characteristics and transition the way trans women often do. that person May identify as trans, they may not ! that trans person may not even consider themselves a woman depending on who they are and what they want !

I Do think there needs to be an effort to be aware of and make space for intersex people within the trans community, and really the wider queer community as a whole. as it's often something that's given a footnote without deeper thought into the ways that intersex people Actually interact with our communities.

which I don't blame people for not already knowing ! that's the whole point of trying to educate people in the first place ^^

.

and as for Myself

labels are, ultimately, a form of gender presentation. what you call yourself is an extension of not only how you see yourself, but how Other People perceive you.

I could call myself nonbinary or I could call myself trans masc, and both would be Accurate. but people have certain traits and expectations and associations when they see those labels. there are assumptions made about the kind of life that I live, the things that I want, the things I might experience, that change depending on which labels that I use.

and that's not Inherently a bad thing ! I mean, that's part of why people Like labels. but it Can be a struggle for people whose gender is Funny.

I could Also describe myself as genderqueer or multi-gender or genderfluid or gnc or-. I've tried on lots and lots of labels, and for the most part I haven't thrown any of them out, I just keep them in a box under my bed and take them out when relevant.

I've been wrestling with the feminine aspect of my identity for a very Very long time. I've been aware that I'm some level of trans masc. that part was easy. I want a deeper voice, I want things about my body to change, I don't want people to look at me and see a cis woman.

but I Also like femininity. I've found that after accepting myself as trans masc and slowly growing an environment where I am Perceived as masculine, I've started getting euphoria at presenting femininely in the Same way that I did (and do!) get about presenting masculinely.

but that feeling doesn't carry over when I'm perceived as a cis woman. it's Quite Uncomfortable for obvious gender reasons.

and while I may not know the exact Words that I'd use to describe it (as I've said, I've been chewing on it for Many years now), I've gotten a clearer idea of how I Feel.

I want to be Visibly trans. I want to be perceived masculinely And femininely. I want to transition masculinely to present femininely (and sometimes butch, sometimes like your dad at the ace hardware store, I contain multitudes).

and of course, figuring out what I have going on has involve a lot of exploration ! it's the same way I figured out the whole trans masc thing in the first place. seeking out other trans people and other Things About trans people feeling things out.

I find ! that I have a lot of shared experiences with transfeminine people. both in how I feel about certain things, some of the presentation that I want, and in how people would React To said presentation.

my femininity Is Trans, I don't relate to cis womanhood. but I Do relate to trans femininity. which is really awkward for me, because it's difficult to describe it to other people fjksldljkasfdjklfasd

(I don't personally consider myself a trans woman mind, but I'm certain there Are people who are trans men and trans women at the same time. gender is complicated, sex is complicated. labels are malleable and sometimes situational)

Could I describe myself with a different label? probably ! I've got lots of them. but when I Don't put emphasis on this aspect of myself people assume that it's not there. insist that it Couldn't be there, and I don't know what I'm talking about. and those people who Would act nasty towards me probably aren't gonna change their mind just because I changed my bio. but it feels Nice to assert that aspect of myself when other people are trying to tear it down.

.

part of me feels like I should post the intersex portion of this by itself, because people tend to engage more with shorter posts and there's nothing Short about my gender situation ljkfdasjkls

but ! I dunno, if this makes even one person understand the gray areas of gender and presentation a little more it'll be worth it.

thank you for taking the time to ask ! and especially for doing so kindly ! I do hope you'll see this

#discourse #long post #intersex #genderqueer #nonbinary #multigender #trans unity #queer unity #moral of the story is that gender is a fuck

[crazy-pages]

Blue Eyed Samurai and Queer Gender

There's a reason so many trans people keep reading trans identity into Mizu.

Because even if she's cis, her gender is still queer.

Lemme back up for a second. Queer identity is deeply intertwined with experiencing sex and gender in ways which are fundamentally non-normative and non-conformative for the societies we live in. It is about being "other" to what society's default is. There are reasons that queer liberation movements have historically often allied with kink communities, with polyamorous circles, and with feminist movements. There's overlap there, in being outside a tightly constrained norm and demanding equality and recognition. And this also means that what queer is, is defined in part by the society it stands in opposition to.

Because for contrast there have been societies, historically, which have been fully accepting of trans people or even had specific social norms and customs around nonbinary gender. The colonizing Spaniards found and recorded interactions (typically violent, sadly) with trans people in what's now Mexico who lived, married, and were recognized in their societies without regard for their genitals. There are entire fields of study around various historical recognition of nonbinary identities. None of these people existed in opposition to the societies they lived in. Heck if we look at sexuality, the ancient Greeks would certainly not have seen men having sex with men as queer (though they would have judged and demeaned the bottom), but some of them certainly pathologized women who had sex with women. In such a society bisexual men would not be queer, while bisexual women would be.

Queer is contextual. Someone who lives in a fully accepting society as a trans person, who never has contact with a culture where that acceptance isn't the norm? I'm not sure I would call them queer. At the very least, there's a definition of queer as the embrace of one's sexual and/or gender non-normativity which such a person might very well not opt into. That person might not feel queer. We might not share that emotional experience.

And where this comes back to Blue Eyed Samurai is that it's possible to be cis and to be marked unavoidably and unalterably queer by one's society. A cis woman living in the US today who feels absolutely cis but cannot, for whatever reason, stand wearing dresses and must wear pants? Might experience some gender non-conforming experiences, but not necessarily be queer. That same woman in 1890s US? Her gender expression would be outright illegal as a form of crossdressing. She would be seen with the same lens as a trans man and their experiences of gender would both be queer, despite one being cis and one being trans. If such a woman, despite being cis and straight and allosexual and alloromantic and all the rest, told me she felt queer? It would not surprise me in the least.

So if you define queer as any kind of experience or internal feeling, as a state of othered existence rather than a specific set of prescriptive definitional boxes that fit our specific societal norms and practices? Mizu is queer. Mizu might or might not be queer if you transplanted her into the 2020s US where I live. But to define her by how she would fit in our society's boxes is fundamentally missing the point of both the queer experience and the story of Blue Eyed Samurai. (And she might not be cis here, he might be a trans man, or they might be nonbinary. It's hard to say ... and this is why queer history scholars step carefully around modern definitions, by the by.)

What we can say is that who Mizu is, in the context of Edo period Japan, is queer. Whether Mizu is genderfluid, or a trans man, or a cis woman who hates having to be undercover, or a cis woman who thrives being undercover, or a cis woman performing drag, or a trans man who thinks of himself as a woman in drag because he lacks context for being transgender? It's all queer gender. There is no framing in which Mizu wouldn't relate to the experience of queer gender.

Mizu doesn't get to experience gender in a normative way. That's both because of who she is at her core, and something that's defined by society without her consent. She is queer, innately born so and structurally made so at the same time, and that's not a contradiction.

#blue eyed samurai #blue eyed samurai spoilers #transgender #terfs can fuck right off #cis or trans #there's a reason Mizu's experience resonates with trans people #cus it's queer #blue eye samurai #blue eye samurai spoilers #queer

[multigenderswag]

I haven’t seen the film yet, but my only gripe with how people (mainly twitter) handle nimona’s genderfluid allegory is saying “she’s genderfluid because she says she’s not a girl”

like. you do know genderfluid people are their genders, yeah? and that you don’t need to degender people to have them ‘qualify’ for being genderqueer? you know that, people can fall under “binary-breaking” identities while still being binary, right? /nbh

people are treating genderfluidity like nonbinary but with another label and as someone who is genderfluid it’s really getting on my nerves.

anyway I’m gonna go watch the film now in case I’m dead wrong on this. but I still see this happen regardless of having the film as context to the statement so I think it’s still worth bringing up.

A quote that I liked a lot from Nimona was when one character asks her "So you're a girl and a rhino?" and Nimona answers "I'm a lot of things." She's a girl, and she's a lot of other things too, and all of these things can exist simultaneously. It's painful for her to be asked to give up all these other parts of her identity, and "just be a girl," but girl is still a component of her identity, and it's unfair to take that away as well.

In conclusion: Stop degendering people! Nimona is fictional, but there are real genderfluid people getting degendered as well.

#asks #degendering #nimona

[missladora]

For context, I am genderfluid, nonbinary, and transgender, in one package. I usually just say I'm a trans girl because it's a lot easier to say "i live in queer avenue" than my specific address. My wonderful girlfriend, when interacting with me, will frequently ask me what gender I feel at the moment, and she does a pretty good job at making me feel heard and appreciated. I like being respected for more than just my easy answer. Some days I feel multigender and tell her "Go john madden dude just use whatever" and other days I'm like "fem right now" etc etc. It's nice!

#genderfluid #nonbinary #gender positivity #i love my gf #she is very nice and endearing #and i don't quite know what i would do without her #there's obviously more to her than respecting my gender ofc #but it's one of the many things i like

[knifedog-machina]

What’s In A Name?

Musings on our names and our relationships with them, particularly around transitioning, OC fictive experiences, established character fictive experiences, and our reluctance to create a system name.

Max

So I'm transgender, and I decided to change my name, as is a common choice among trans folks! I went through several different names before settling on the ones I have for myself now - Kitson, Gray, Finch, for a few examples. I was nonbinary in my teenage years, genderfluid before my gender settled into masculinity as its new home, and I wanted a name that was kinda difficult to nail down as masculine or feminine. I played around with it for a long time, I got silly with it!

My online name is Max now, derived only a little bit from misspelling mackerelgray as maxkerelgray one time! I think it’s a name that ages well, and I really like the potential longform nicknames for it - because I like saying it's short for Maximilian, but it can also be Maximus, Maxime, Maxwell, Maxfield, Maximum, Maxilla, etc. It’s fun! The possibilities are endless!

And on February 29 (wow! a Leap Year!) I got a new addition to it! I was attending the 2024 Centaurus Festival, a three-day online convention centered around mythic and folkloric alterhumans, and it was an absolute blast, especially because of the name thing! 

I was jokingly lamenting that I’d chosen a really boring name to represent myself, when surrounded by the likes of Page or Cynder or Daski, because it does look like I just chose one of the Top Ten Dog Names despite not being a dog. Everyone around me got a whiff of self-deprecation and immediately went about tearing it down, joking about how they came up with their own handles and complimenting mine, and it was honestly really nice? Like I’m not the only one who made up my name in a silly way, or feels like their name is a little underwhelming, and it felt really nice to break up the impression of Big Intimidating Community Names™ with the understanding that we’re all just weird and vibing together!

And Benry said, hey, if it were actually a top ten dog name you’d be a Fido or a Biscuit, and I said, hey, I like biscuits! I’d be a great Biscuit! And in ten minutes I’m being dubbed Max Biscuit in the general chat and giving people virtual baked goods, and honestly, it was so fun and sweet that I’m immortalizing it by putting it on my handle now. Hi fellow alterhumans, I’m Max Biscuit, I was Assigned Baked Goods at the Centaurus Festival and it was absolutely delightful.

Jude

First off, my name is technically short for Judah, and I don’t actually use that name here, for a couple reasons.

Mostly, it’s because Judah is a work name. My handler only used my full name - she wouldn’t shorten it, that’s improper, that’s not my actual designation. It’s a name that I associate with my job, with doing something for people who don’t actually care about me, and it’s not something I use with people I’m trying to get along with. My friends and siblings and partners all call me Jude in friendly contexts, but I’m Judah if it’s for something official, and that’s a signal for me to stop fucking around and do what I need to. I’ll use it as a burner name while talking to strangers, to people I don’t care about. Now that I’m in a system, I only directly talk to people who I care about getting along with, so I just cut out the middleman and introduce myself as Jude.

(There’s also definitely the fact that people see Judah and think I’m a guy, and I hate being misgendered. Jude has a more neutral association that I like better.)

That’s what I have for my first name, but I have more thoughts! About other names I have and their funny little origins, related to being an original character fictive.

See, if you’re talking about my model and serial number, I’m called RK800 476 032 660. In beta testing, before being officially given a name, I used to be called Sixty from the last couple digits. Which is really funny to me, because that’s the usual fandom nickname for the Cyberlife Tower doppelganger in Detroit: Become Human, and that was where Max got the original inspiration for my character! Listen, the moralizing machine characterization compelled them. 

Max just ran with the pieces, glued them together, and wrote that guy into weirder and more canon-divergent AUs until they realized they had fully replaced every part of that man’s characterization and I was the result. They just went full Ship Of Theseus with him. So my name got changed because I was a completely different person, and I don’t identify with that name anymore, but I’m pretty fond of it. And I like Sixty in DBH fandom and fics when I see him, he’s kinda fucked up and feral and feels a lot of things and I can relate to that. He’s just a funny little bastard.

And before I walked in, Max wrote a bunch of different alternate universes with me - and honestly I adore it, I love being known and psychoanalyzed by my loved ones because I like to know what they’re thinking about me. Most of those AUs have different settings and premises - like we’re all werewolves, or selkies, or chefs, or in the Star Wars universe or something. And this usually meant that my name is different, because I need a full name, I can’t just be called Jude. So he settled on Judah Nicholas Rooke, Rooke from RK and Nicholas because it has a good ring to it, and I also have it as a legal name in my timeline.

It’s funny to think about my name in terms of the meta of being a fictive of an original character, because on one hand, Max went through various iterations of a character that would eventually become what I’d recognize as me, including name changes, and that’s really interesting! And on the other hand, I definitely remember talking about what to officially last-name ourselves with my brothers when we finally got the time, because I felt kinda weird about identifying myself by a model number, or worse, a serial number that people never remembered. Watsonian versus Doylist commentary on what went into making me a person, I guess! They’re both real enough, one of them just happened in my life and the other happened in Max’s brain.

Gavin

My name is Gavin Zachary Reed, and I still think it’s really funny that I can just announce that without getting doxxed. Like I don’t think anyone should follow my example, but it’s fucking comedy gold that I can do it. I’m not even revealing my identity to anyone who’s familiar with the video game my source was based on, because my source is so canon divergent that the character who shares my name is fully unrecognizable to me.

If you recognize the first and last name there, yep, I’m technically an iteration of Gavin Reed from Detroit: Become Human. Unfortunately, I’m nothing like him - I look nothing like his character model, his voice is different, his only personality trait is being a dick, and he’s not even 5’2” - and I hate his stupid fucking ass, including the video game he’s from and most things related to its fandom that we’ve interacted with. This kinda sucks, because I’m not going to change my name again just because it’s associated with a character and game and fandom I dislike. I like my name, thanks.

Here’s a brief rundown on how I got my name. Gavin - I’m trans, I chose this name myself. My middle name, Zachary, I also came up with that, because it worked way better with Gavin than my old middle name, and I go by Zach in spaces where I don’t want to use my first name. And Reed is my aunts’ last name, because I moved in with them as a teenager, and I did not want anybody knowing I had ties to my famous older brother or dragging me back to my shit parents. I legally changed it all at once. My aunts were my guardians until I got my own place, and really, they’re way more like parents to me than the people who fucked over my childhood.

So I’m really attached to my name. It carries a lot of meaning for me. I’m annoyed that it’s connected to a character I hate, but I can’t exactly control that, so there’s not really a point in getting tetchy about it. I’ll readily bitch about it in private, but I genuinely like who I am and I’m not about to abandon that by letting a game dictate what I call myself.

System Names

We still don’t have a system name and don’t really care to officially make one, for a couple reasons.

First, there’s only three people here, and we have our individual names already. Addressing us by a collective system name feels like it means losing some of that individuality, because people use the system name because they don’t want to assume who’s fronting or anything, and while that’s understandable, it’s not something any of us really likes. Like, we’re very much separate people! If you wanna talk to one of us, just say it, we’ll probably show up!

On the other hand, I do understand wanting an identifier - like, there’s loads of Maxes and Judes and Gavins out there, we have really common names, there’s gotta be something to distinguish us from another group, right? Like a last name.

Honestly, looking at it like a last name makes it feel better. If you’ve read through the rest of this, you can tell we’re already experts at getting new last names, and this is just another one! So on that note, we’re not gonna call ourselves anything like The X System, but if you have to tag us as a collective, just use Machina as a funny end tag, like how people talk about Sans Undertale.

(Max Machina is a misnomer, since he’s not from Machina, but he came up with the title so he counts. And it’s really fucking funny.)

#personal essay #alterhuman #plurality #fictive #max talks #jude talks #gavin talks

[schizowitchic]

re: the last post i reblogged i am now going to rant about biphobia i have experienced and am experiencing! yay /s

(under a cut bc this got way too long)

so in secondary school i was in a friend group full of queer people, majority of whom were bisexual girls (at the time. a couple are now nonbinary / asexual) . and they were very big on the whole "bisexual culture is liking every woman and 2 men" thing, a lot of "ew men" jokes, and all in all general "liking women is better than liking men" "why am i dating a gross icky man i should be with a woman".

now i am more attracted to men than women, not by much, its typically fairly equal, but i definitely have a leaning towards men. and i repressed that for AGES. because it simply was "frowned upon", so to speak, from almost everyone i was close with

(for further context for the rest of this. i am not out as genderfluid. i use she/her pronouns irl and ppl know me as a cis woman. i am not really out as aromantic, when i identified as aroace i did tell a few people but i think they either completely ignored me or forgot. lol.)

nowadays, i tell my friends i am bisexual. one in particular always seems to forget, constantly calling me gay/lesbian, assuming i have no opinion or that my opinion will be "ew no" when she asks if i find a man she likes hot. (she has told me so many times "why am i asking you this you don't even like men". i have told her i am bisexual several times) (she also thinks it's funny to call me & another friend "f-slurs" . she says that not the actual word but still. i have to find it funny bc she gets so defensive if we imply she's homophobic)

(i do call myself gay bc i consider none of my attraction ever to be straight. i have no major issues with being called a lesbian apart from the fact that. yknow. im not a lesbian and have never identified as such)

i made a post a while back saying something like "help im being biseuxal erasured". because i am!! i am stuck in yet another situation with people who are either mainly attracted to women/only attracted to women/don't often talk about their attraction to me & also two cishet girls who are attracted to men in a very different way than i am (one of whom erases the fact i am attracted to men and the other who i don't like and probably assumes i'm a lesbian bc of how often everyone else says that)

also full of "ew men" jokes!!. might i add.

i literally have no space to talk about the way i experience attraction, i have to water it down and pretend i only like women, pretend i am interested in romance, pretend i feel attraction when the occasioanll bout of extreme sex-repulsion hits, take (albeit censored) homophobic slurs, sex jokes about me & another female friend that are getting uncomfortable.

and pretend like the main perpretatror of this isn't being at all queerphobic. (she also has massive racism and antisemitism issues. although my friend did throw basically a whole book at her face when she made a really bad joke). to the point where i no longer consider her a friend but i can't say that bc then im overreacting and i'll get the same bullying ostracisation treatment & my friends are still gonna hang out w her so i can't avoid it

people wonder why i am aplatonic when throughout friendships i have experienced: making fun of me to my face & behind my back, bullying, homophobia, biphobia, aphobia, ableism .

like what the fuck. im sick and fucking tired of having nowhere safe to express my sexuality bc let's be real, the internet often isn't the best space.

ive made my peace with either having to compromise my aromanticism or my allosexuality irl (ie either be out as bisexual or out as aroace) but apparently i can't even freely be bisexual without people making assumptions and at this point im just waiting it out until i can hit restart and try make new friends

#biphobia #homophobia #long post #aphobia #queerphobia #bisexual #im aware some of my wording may be misinterpreted . im struggling to explain this #as you may be able to tell from the longwindedness #having friends is exhausting and stressful #aplatonic #aromantic #personal #rant #nyxie be quiet challenge

[fuchsadler]

Am I trans?

No. That's the simple answer without explanation. But I want to provide you with some context: Yes, I'm not cis, which technically fits the definition of trans but I'm not trans. Why? Because for me the word trans implies some sort of gender transition, which I do not have. Yes, I'm more or less out in my everyday life as 'nonbinary' (because that's easier to explain to nonqueer folk than my actual labels) but neither did or do I want to change my name nor did I really change my pronouns because although I do have a preference for it/its I'm fine with people using she/her as well. If you're reading this now and think "But that's my experience as well, and I'm trans!" good for you, I'm just talking about my personal identification with the word trans and why I don't identify with it. I am Elsegender, I am Genderfluid, I am Chaosgender, I am Endity, and I am Maverique but I'm neither cis nor trans. I do not fit into binaries of any sort.

#personal #gender #queer #endity #genderfluid #maverique #cis #trans #non binary #binaries

[freckliedan]

just u mentioned it in one of ur recent ask replies, whats a fagdyke /genq and how is it different to . a dyke (i am also a dyke LMAO)

quite earnestly i have no way of answering this for everyone who IDs as a fagdyke but i can answer for myself! for me (& many others, to my knowledge) it's a gender thing. the very short version is that my gender is both fag and dyke, the way some people's gender is dyke.

i first started both ID'ing as a nonbinary lesbian whose gender was just dyke & using they/them pronouns in 2018 (the same year i made this blog). for me the main part of my identity at that time was the lesbianism? being othered from womanhood was a result of my sexuality.

because like. a lot of cishet womanhood is shaped by being attracted to men and performing gender in a way that's attractive to men. i embodied neither of those things, which automatically disqualified me from many people's definition of womanhood. so i was nonbinary not because i identified away from my assigned gender but because the consensus definition no longer included me.

i embraced dyke as gender, it's something i did very intentionally, but being nonbinary was still a secondary part of my identity. it wasn't until 2019 that i more fully interrogated my gender and started viewing transness as a more central part of my identity?

i started doing that interrogation when i started questioning whether lesbian was the best fit for me. my then-recently-nonbinary-partner was just beginning to explore gender more and i knew that if they someday realized they were a man & felt misgendered by me being a lesbian that lesbian would stop being the right fit for me.

which. that came fully from me? i worry about phrasing this in a way that'd somehow paint my husband in a negative light but it genuinely was just a point at which i started thinking directly about my gender rather than bypassing it by focusing on my sexuality. (and yes, they're my husband now, he's since figured out they're a nonbinary trans guy).

i stopped being nonbinary as an afterthought of lesbianism and started just being nonbinary which was! quite honestly a lot to process because i'd been ignoring it for a long time. but it's been half a decade and i've done my processing?

i realized that what's true for me is that my gender is both fluid and not singular. i label myself as queer and genderqueer when talking to cishet people, maybe as genderfluid/bigender/multigender if getting into the specifics. but that's not how i label myself to me or to my community? (well. queer is).

what i've realized is that like. my attraction is always queer. in a relationship with a woman or dyke aligned nonbinary person, my gender would be more dyke than anything else. in my relationship with my husband my gender is more fag, & the same would be true in a relationship with anyone whose gender is more aligned with man/fag.

(i say more in both of those examples because like. my gender still fluctuates for other reasons. i have days where i feel very little internal sense of gender. i have days where i experience both fag as a gender and dyke as a gender at the same time. the list goes on).

my gender is contextual in a lot of ways—the way i experience gender is different in the more rural red state used to live in vs the big city in a blue state i now call home. but the context of relationships is one of the biggest ones, because it's one of the biggest impacts on how other people percieve me.

like, to strangers and aquaintences i am my husband's husband or spouse, because it's most important to me to be understood as queer. but in much more personal circles i also sometimes call myself his wife, because that's sometimes a more accurate reflection of my gender and the people who i'm comfortable calling myself that around already are familiar with how i experience gender & with the fact that our relationship is queer.

i know that a lot of people likely view fag and dyke as two mutually exclusive identities, as an extension of the binary of man and woman. but even when i was just IDing as a nonbinary dyke i had more in common with nonbinary fags than with cis women. and the fact that i am a dyke has not gone away now that i've also realized i am a fag.

in full i'd describe myself as a fairy fagdyke femme. fag goes first because it's how i more often present myself to the world.

i know i'm not the only person with seemingly contradictory identities like this, but it's not something i talk the most about? a LOT of the queer community constantly regurgitates subtly bioessentialist & transphobic ideas that make it like.. uncomfortable (at best) to be present in both lesbian and gay men's spaces as a bigender/multigender person.

so i primarily connect with other trans people, especially genderfreaks like me.

ummm my last note here is. for many other fagdykes or dykefags their definition of the label and personal experience is completely different from mine! it can be the same thing as being a dyke. some dykes are transmasc but still have dyke as their main gender and identity. i'm barely scratching the surface on this.

#i'm a fag and a dyke at the same time! that's all. #jam replies #anon #gender studies #gender

[jaydenchip404]

Tumblr has been recommending your posts to me a lot lately, and I've seen that you're trying to figure out which words to describe your identity with, so I want to try to help you out a little!

The most important thing to consider is what you want from your label. Labels can serve many different purposes, but here are some of the key things that they're often used for:

Understanding your identity internally

Finding comfort or joy in words that describe your experiences

Finding community with others who have similar experiences

Expressing your identity to other people, especially quickly

Labels don't have to be used for all of those things, but they're usually going to be used for at least one of those things. You might also use different labels for different reasons, or use different labels in different contexts.

If you're using labels to understand your identity internally, or to find comfort or joy...

... Use whichever ones you feel fit best! It doesn't matter whether it makes sense/seems right to others or not, because the goal is to find something that makes sense/seems right to you. Be as specific, or as broad, as you desire. Use however many labels you want!

You could even make a document listing all of your labels if you want to keep track of them. There's also an attraction tracker and gender tracker if you want to track your experiences over time.

If you're using labels to find community...

... Use labels which are common and/or broad! It's easiest to find community when you're using relatively common or loosely defined labels. If it has a page on this wiki, you've probably got a good shot at finding a community surrounding that label, and thus, finding people whose experiences are similar to yours.

If it doesn't have a page on that wiki, don't worry! You can still try to find community with more niche labels; it just might not be as easy to find people who share your identity.

If you're using labels to express your identity to others...

... Use labels which are common and/or easy to explain! Using more common labels increases the chance that people will understand what you mean to express. Or, if someone doesn't understand what your label means, you'll want to be able to easily explain the definition, or what the word means for you in particular.

It can be hard to gauge how common a label is, especially when you know a lot of labels yourself. But generally, people will have a basic understanding of the following terms, whether those people are members of the LGBTQ+ community or not:

gay

lesbian

queer

bi(sexual)

pan(sexual)

trans(gender)

nonbinary

genderqueer

genderfluid

polyamorous

asexual (though many people think asexual = aroace)

The next terms are a bit of a coin-toss in my experience, but they'll be generally understood by most LGBTQ+ people, and some non-LGBTQ+ people as well:

sapphic

aromantic

demisexual

demiromantic

demigirl

demiboy

agender

omni(sexual)

bigender

xenogender

And regarding fluidity, it is often easiest to give people an "overview" or your identity if possible, rather than whatever specific shift you're experiencing. For example, you might simply say "I'm genderfluid" or "my identity is fluid" or "my identity changes every now and then." Or, if you want to express your current shift, you could say something like, "right now I'm [x], but that could change."

You might use different words depending on your current crowd, because different people will have different levels of understanding when it comes to labels. For example, I generally won't describe myself as pangender or demifluid when describing myself to cis people, but I will describe myself that way if I'm speaking to people who are also trans or nonbinary. Not as a way of hiding who I am, but just as a way of more easily discussing my identity.

You may also use different words in different contexts. For example, I describe myself solely as aromantic when that's the only part of my identity relevant to discuss, even though there are plenty of other aspects of my identity that exist, such as being polysexual, pangender, demifluid, polyaffectionate, a lesbian, or any other aspect of my identity.

And, when labels fail to convey your identity, descriptions are your friend! Can't find a commonly understood word to describe yourself with? Set the labels aside and just use descriptions alone. For example, instead of "I'm fidelityflux," you could say "the number of partners that I desire changes every now and then," or "sometimes I want to have no partners, sometimes I just want one, and sometimes I want multiple," or whichever other description you feel works best.

Hope this is helpful!

Thanks! That actually was helpful!

I mainly want to use labels for the "finding comfort or joy in words that describe your experiences" and "expressing your identity to other people, especially quickly" parts. 

I generally understand my queer identity. I have a full Google Doc listing my labels, but I'm not going to tell everyone I meet what's on that Doc (we would be there for hours). I think the best thing to do is tell them the very basic measure of my identity, something akin to "I'm genderfluid, meaning my gender identity changes every day, but I generally want to be seen as a man and referred to as a man." You know, something quick, simple, and straight to the point. 

Since I don't plan on dating any time soon, fidelityflux, omniaspec, and omnomi don't matter right now, and pronouns and my name are the most important things outside the internet for me. It's still a major part of who I am, but it doesn't matter right now, so I'll just leave them in my bio until it's relevant for people to know in the real world.

I was originally going to use this blog for fanfiction, but I ended up just making it a queer blog. I mean, most of this stuff is just for me to put my thoughts into words, but I do like hearing people's opinions on it, because sometimes it helps (like my transmasc tips post), or when I specifically ask people for help. 

The queerphobic comments I get still hurt, but I've come to accept the fact that I can't change this part of myself.

I really appreciate your response and your willingness to help a complete stranger. You really did help me!

#Faunpronominal #Linumgender #Transgender #Fidelityflux #Afidelitous #Greyromantic #Omniromantic #Greysexual #Omnisexual #Greyplatonic #Omniplatonic #Demisensual #Greysensual #Pansensual #Omniaesthetic #MOGAI #Queer #LGBTQIA+ #LGBTQIA #LGBTQ #LGBTQ+ #LGBT #LGBT+ #LGBTQQIA #2SLGBTQ+ #LGBT2SQQIA

[goose-books]

3 for Anna and Errans, and also 20 and 21 :3

i meant to remember to answer these before the last day of pride month. and then! anyway,

3. How did your oc discover themself? Did something cause them to question, or did they always know?

(godsong WIP page with links) (for context, anna is god's specialest girl ever and the main character, and she's a transfemme nonbinary lesbian. errans is a minor side character with terrible sideburns and transmasc unswag)

anna grew up in a city where priests have a special gender and pronoun, and she was designated a priest at age 11 by the gods, so her transness started as sort of an occupational thing; she was like, "okay, i'm priestgender," and then progressed to, "wait, i like this gender stuff." you are allowed to be priestgender and also another thing, and getting to explore her presentation at the temple lead to the realization that her Other Thing was womanhood (nonbinary-flavored). more a sister than a woman etc <3

as for the lesbianism, i don't think that was ever a discovery for him; there's no homophobia in ivander and his parents are in a bisexual polycule, so i think he just always knew his future person would be a woman. (i say "person" because ivander doesn't have legal marriage, but there is a religious equivalent if you want to dedicate yourself to someone long-term; otherwise you can just do Whatever. city that is absolutely bursting with gender and fruitiness)

errans i'm less sure about dskhfkdsfkdsnfsd. i know he came out as trans when he was around sixteenish; i think he knew he was bisexual first, and the image coming to me is errans experiencing the "do-i-want-to-date-that-guy-or-be-that-guy" about someone he probably never actually spoke to. i don't get a vibe like he ever loathed being a woman, more so that eventually he just realized he could simply be a man. for free. and was like. "well this is clearly so much more what i'm supposed to be doing"

now i'm thinking about awkward teenage errans and his awkward genvy crushes. god bless him

20. Have your ocs helped you in self discovery? How?

sigh. well i have to tell the story don't i. POV: you are [max], age 12, working on the first iteration of the story that will become TMR (my on-hiatus YA transgender evil-faerie high fantasy). you give the character who will become moon marigold all of your uncomfortable feelings about your body, feelings that are certainly not physical dysphoria because you are cisgender. about a year or so later, you realize that this WIP is full of cishet white people (i have since remedied this), and you should really add some diversity. hey, moon's got weird body feelings! what if you made her genderfluid? that sounds great! you are not thinking at all about where those weird body feelings may have come from or how this may reflect on anything at all.

POV: you are [max], still age 13ish, and you've got a new WIP (it's my also-on-hiatus NA monsters-in-NYC thing). you are going to put a binary transgender person in it. not for any specific reason. you just wanted to. who can say why. certainly not you. anyway you've never done this before and you are a little nervous because how can you, as a cisgender person, accurately represent a trans character? you muse about how to write dysphoria as you dress up for an orchestra concert, in an outfit that is extremely feminine. halfway through, you get derailed by crying real tears about said feminine outfit, because now the boy who sits beside you in the orchestra will know that you are a girl (because your long hair and name clearly couldn't have tipped him off beforehand). could you draw on this experience to describe dysphoria, you wonder? or maybe that other time you cried in the shower? but that's bad and wrong, isn't it? because you're cisgender. so comparing your own... whatever this is... to dysphoria would be an APPROPRIATION of dysphoria! how villainously cis of you! how horrible! you'll have to figure out some other way to write this character.

...anyway. thank you to moon and augustus for that. my kings my brothers in arms. and they BOTH do arson in their respective WIPs, so maybe i have another plot twist in my future?

21. Free ramble card wee

FREE RAMBLE WEE... hmm, well, since i've already touched on it a little in this ask, one of the most interesting things about worldbuilding for godsong is that most of the major settings don't have homophobia/transphobia/misogyny the same way that our world does. (i say most because ambergris is stuck in misogynyville. it's probably fine and i bet she won't get violent.) i honestly didn't think super hard about this; i just wanted to write a high fantasy world where women and nonbinary people and bisexuals and lesbians can hold positions of (sometimes corrupt) power, or where the chosen one can be a transfemme lesbian whose issues aren't transphobia but how to complete her quest.

except then i realized that not having homophobia/transphobia/misogyny invites so many other questions about the social fabric of a society. i mean, the modern legal concept of marriage is rooted pretty solidly in heterosexual relationships wherein women move from one family to another, right? so if gender relations are entirely different, do these places even have marriage? do these places even have gender? this is something i'm still figuring out (and honestly, if anyone has suggestions for media that pokes at this kind of thing, i'd love to hear them!). the two main cities in godsong are ivander (a theocracy) and farria (a democracy with a new revolution every tuesday), and i've been playing around in my head with some of the differences--for example, in ivander, being trans is generally considered holy, because the city's patron god is many-gendered; in farria, being trans is something nobody thinks twice about, because everyone is focused on Just Getting By. in ivander, there are at least three defined genders (man, woman, and priest) which can all overlap. in farria, gender doesn't define social relations so much as a parallel hierarchy of military and/or governmental power--eg, farria's very own neopronouns marc antony isn't afraid of "emasculation" in the gender sense, because xir gender is "if you like me you're gay," but xe's terrified of emasculation (for lack of a better word) in the sense of being seen as weak/submissive. in farria these things are way less connected than they are in our world. i'm still working out a lot of the details, but it's been a lot of fun to think about :3

wow that sure was a free ramble. thank you for the asks rook i love you so much <3

(pride asks!)

#max.txt #asks #long post #godsong tag #anna ivtouched #stella errans #and then also: #tmr tag #moon marigold #quark tag #augustus alexander #for my transgender brethren/mentors

[teathattast]

Jsyk, while you don't have to identify as trans if you don't want to, genderfluid ppl are generally considered a part of the transgender community. Just letting you know in case because when I first started identifying as nonbinary I didn't know I was also included under the trans umbrella (and as such, was trans)

Ah thank you! I had no idea. I was talking to a fellow fluidcore fan and now understand why trans came up in the context of being fluid. Well I guess I'm trans then :D

#asks #ask tea #trans

[cardentist]

As a nonbinary/genderfluid biromantic, demiromantic asexual, literally every part of my gender identity and sexuality has been subject to the same "you could EASILY pass as cishet, so can you REALLY say you experience oppression when you could simply CHOOSE not to" and "you're not REALLY oppressed for being XYZ, you're only oppressed when people mistake you as cis fem/trans fem/gay/lesbian/any other identity we think is ACTUALLY important." My existence in online queer spaces has been hounded constantly by people trying to tell me what my lived experiences are and what they mean, shouting me down about how I can't speak about Insert Issue/Topic Here because sure maybe I'm queer (and to some, I don't even have the right to call myself that) but I'm at the bottom of the Who Is Oppressed More Hierarchy, I am only Oppressed in the way that sometimes I experience what they deem to be a different group's oppression. Not even my oppression is my own! I am too much of an "aberration" to find community and a place to speak amongst the general populace, and I'm too privileged to have a voice in the queer community, even about things that affect me.

And now, I'm watching that same rhetoric being used against transmen and transmascs. I remember when people on this site started really exploring queer headcanons for characters, everyone cheering "let's make X character gay! Y character is trans! Z character is a lesbian!" but if you dared to suggest "can Q character be ace?" you'd be met with "... that's boring." I remember how quickly ace exclusion devolved from "aces are boring" to "god, aces are annoying" to "when you think about it, aces aren't even really oppressed, so they aren't queer, so they should just shut up." And then it wasn't just aces, it was bi folks. And then it was enbies too. And now. Here we are.

This is the only site where people will blog about how "Gender is a sandbox! It's fucky! Men can be women, and women can be men! I'm a boygirl kind of girlboy! There are genders and sexualities in all sorts of shrimp colors you can dream of!" but in the same breath, they'll still act weird about he/him lesbians. They'll still claim that ALL masculinity is toxic. They'll still say that men are boring and annoying and-- Oh? You think that's kind of hurtful? You want to use this as an opportunity to talk about your own lived experiences and vent your frustrations courteously and privately on your own blog? Why do you have to make everything about you?! You're lower down the Who Is More Oppressed ladder because, wHeN yOu tHinK aBouT iT, no man can be oppressed for being a man! Even trans men! So you and anybody even vaguely masc aligned should just shut up and stay out of the conversation and let the queers who experience REAL bigotry talk!

... They could at least say something new instead of reusing the same rhetoric they've used for aces and aros and bi/pan folk and enbies and masc/butch lesbians and countless other queer identities.

All that to say, as someone who has been subject to all this for every part of my identity, I stand with you. Trans Unity! Queer Unity!

Context: [Link 1, Link 2]

I know Exactly what you're talking about !

I was around in inclusionist spaces 10 years ago at this point, before I'd fully crystalized what I Had Going On.

I Remember it being pointed out that ace exclusionists were stealing talking points from radfems directly, up to and including ripping off entire posts and just swapping out "trans women" with "asexuals."

I Remember people warning each other that normalizing these kinds of talking points, convincing people that that Mindset is a valid one, would then make it easy to swap out the Target of said mindset.

and it Has happened, over and over and over again. people are Always looking for the marginalized people that nobody wants to stand up for. that people don't understand, that people don't see as Needing support, that people already have negative feelings about even if they don't recognize Why.

it'll only ever stop when people examine the talking points Themselves and throw them out. when people are willing to stand in solidarity with people Regardless of whether they understand them or not.

if someone is trying to convince you that class of people As A Whole are undeserving of support, are lesser than, shouldn't have their voices heard or considered, Question It ! when they hold people up in Comparison to say that their pain is Lesser and therefore doesn't Matter, Question It !!

#discourse #queer unity #trans unity #transandrophobia

[queerrambles]

Hello. I'm writing a story with a genderfluid character and wanted to ask if you have some advice about how to do it correctly? (I already love Alex Fierro but don't feel ready to write this yet)

Hello, and I am so sorry for not answering sooner! Tumblr is weird and didn't show me this ask.

All I can tell you is my own experience with genderfluidity as a genderfluid person. But before I begin, I would just like to let you know that every genderfluid person experiences their fluidity differently, and that it is probably a good idea for you to ask several different genderfluid people for advice just to get a good idea of what it's like.

First I'm going to tell you some things I liked about the way Rick Riordan wrote Alex and some things I think he could've done better. (I am going to alternate several times between using he/him and she/her for Alex since he has specifically said in the book not to use they/them)

I absolutely loved Alex Fierro as a character. I read that trilogy a couple years before I figured out that I was genderfluid, and it was a great introduction for me. I thought it was so cool that Alex could change genders and shapeshift and he very quickly became my favorite character. I loved that she was never afraid to let people know when her gender had changed. I loved that the other characters in the book were accepting of him. He is still my favorite character from all of the Riordanverse.

However, looking at her now from the perspective of a genderfluid person instead of a cis girl, I have identified many flaws in the way Alex was portrayed. First of all, Alex falls into the genderfluid/nonbinary stereotype of being a shapeshifter. And while I love shapeshifters (mainly because I've always dreamed of being one), portraying all genderfluid/nonbinary people as shapeshifters can make it seem like genderfluid people can't actually exist in real life, because no one can be a shapeshifter. I, personally, would love to see more genderfluid characters who cannot shapeshift, and who are just ordinary people (or at least ordinary in the context of the story).

Another thing that bothered me a bit with Alex's portrayal was that she always knew exactly what gender she was. I often do not have any idea what my current gender is, and I've noticed that I'm far from the only genderfluid person who has trouble identifying what gender they are at the moment.

Okay, now to move on from Alex because this post is starting to get long and I still have to give my actual advice.

So, writing a genderfluid person will probably be hard, especially for someone with a static (unchanging) gender. The first thing you should know is that some genderfluid people are fluid between many genders, and some are only fluid between 2 or 3. Looking at the different types of genderfluid (such as genderfaun, genderdoe, genderflor, etc.) can be helpful. Do you want your genderfluid character to only be fluid between masculine and nonbinary genders? Or only between the binary genders (male and female)? Or maybe they're like me and fluid between many genders, including feminine, masculine, and nonbinary genders?

Another thing that I would do in writing a genderfluid person is to please not make them a shapeshifter. I would love to see more genderfluid people like me who can't do mystical shapeshifting shit. Don't let your genderfluid character fall into that stereotype because literally the only genderfluid characters I can think of off the top of my head are all shapeshifters of some sort and I just. Really want normal ass genderfluid characters (but magic is still cool and good if you're going for a fantasy world).

Also, please please please have your genderfluid character sometimes have no idea what their gender is. Story time: When I came out to my friend she asked what gender I currently was and what pronouns I was currently using and. I literally had no idea. None. So please have your genderfluid character sometimes be clueless about what gender they currently are.

I'm tired and it's like 2 am so I'm going to wrap up. I may reblog in the morning with more tips so watch out for that. Anyway my parting advice is to remember that genderfluid people are literally just people. We're all extremely different, just like the average person is very different from another person. So keep that in mind!

And, I would also like to thank you for writing genderfluid representation. It makes me so happy and I'm also really glad that you're asking a genderfluid person for his advice (hey I finally figured out my gender today!)

As always, if anyone else has any advice to give, feel free to add your thoughts in either a comment or reblog. And happy writing, anon!

#queer answers #genderfluid #writing advice #genderfluid character

[bozowrites]

Hi! I hope you're doing well!

If it's no trouble dare I humbly request maybe headcanons or something of sort about being canonically married to the Beeduo? Respectfully wholesome here, nothing weird in regards to them of course. Not even actually really looking for concepts related to the marriage itself, more so in taking care of Michael maybe? Have at it as you will.

I don't know, just the idea of like what Michael may use as parental terminology related to his (ahem- totally not adoptive-) parents (if he can speak English, but that's besides the point. Maybe he sketches and when a specific sketch is entitled to a specific parent or in him just adding little indicators or a note he uses said names referring to his guardians??) and the reader being nonbinary (maybe genderfluid to be specific? Maybe? I don't know) possibly? There's a few genderneutral/nonbinary related terms for parents that I honestly find nice and just the concept sounds cute.

Also to be completely honest I'm unsure about requesting since I don't want to like push any boundaries regarding them even though strictly searching for wholesome vibes entirely, maybe overthinking it, again I don't know. Please don't stress yourself on my account, this ask is free to be dismissed and apologies if I've wasted your time, feel free to proceed about your day/night/afternoon in dismissing my existence. ^^'

Headcanon

↳ Request above!

Members: [C] Tubbo, Ranboo + Michael.

TW: none.

note: aw, darling, dw I loved this request and you didn't push any boundaries!! <3 guess whose cousin let them borrow their laptop for the week!! Yall better be prepared for a bunch of fics, also summer just started so yay!!

NAVIGATION

Tubbo, Ranboo and you are platonically all married and have a kid, right? Right.

But, you’re the one that stays home with Michael, while they go hunting, mining, etc.

I see it as Michael refers to Tubbo as “Dada”, Ranboo as “Mama” and you as “O’Pa” (in context it means other parent).

Michael doesn’t speak too much English, just simple words and you’re teaching him now! Tubbo and Ranboo often come home to Michael having learned a new word.

His favourite pastime with you is colouring. He just loves showing off his and your proud work to his Mama and Dada.

“O’Pa and me make!!” Michael exclaimed, proudly shoving the piece of paper into Tubbo’s face. Tubbo took a hold of one of Michael’s hooves and grinned while looking over the piece of artwork. “Is that me and Dada?” Ranboo sat on his knees, asking and looking over the art. Michael snorted with a nod. “It's so beautiful!” Ranboo kissed his cheek.

“O’Pa!” Michael reached his arms up as a sign to be picked up. You did as requested and picked his small body up. “Did you guys find anything in the mines?”

“A few golds and irons, but we didn’t find any diamonds.” Tubbo said, sitting on one of the many chairs in Michael’s room. “I’m exhausted.” Ranboo sat down too. “Well, Michael and I had a wonderful time.”

“Shut up.”

@lmfaosoph @b3l0v3ds @sabinanotfound @youngstarfishdinosaur @acidtabletz @loonylovegood13 @dreamzluvrr

#mcyt imagine #mcyt x reader #platonic mcyt x reader #mcyt fluff #platonic tubbo x reader #platonic ranboo x reader #dream smp x reader #dream smp x you #platonic dream smp x reader #platonic mcyt

[whiterabbitweirdo]

Quick break from the fandom art, let me show you a piece of art I made that means quite a bit to me. It may not seem like much without context, so let me explain some things:

(TLDR at the bottom)

This is the second version of this drawing, I made this version in June of this year (2021.) The original version (I'll include it at the end of the post) I made in 2019.

June is both pride month and scoliosis awareness month. The first thing I thought of when I found that out was this stupid pun "I'm not straight."

I had a spinal fusion to correct my scoliosis in 2016, and when I created the original version of this I was questioning if I was asexual. (I have since come to the conclusion that I and both asexual and aromantic.) These factors, along with the pun, is why I decided to create this.

I had created a TeePublic account very closely to the time I had the idea to draw the original, so I made it as a shirt design. Technically multiple shirt designs, as they're available all in one and individually as well.

The original design only had nine spines, with only 7 of them being pride flags. The original was also the first of three (so far) pride flag collections I made.

This year, after making my other two pride collection designs, I figured it was time to go back and give this one an upgrade. To redo it and make it even better, and a bit more inclusive as well. (Well as inclusive as I could make it without pushing myself too far.) Updating this piece made it go from my pride piece with the least amount of flags, to my pride piece with the most flags in it.

I could continue to ramble about this piece, but I think at this point I've covered the most important bits of it at this point, so now here's a list of what all of the spines stand for (from left to right):

-Off white/bone colored for scoliosis

-Green for scoliosis awareness

-Rainbow flag

-Gay flag

-Lesbian flag (sunset)

-Bisexual flag

-Pansexual flag

-Omnisexual flag

-Asexual flag

-Aromantic flag

-Polyamorous flag

-Polyromantic flag

-Genderqueer flag

-Transgender flag

-Nonbinary flag

-Intersex flag

-Genderfluid flag

-Demigirl flag

-Demiboy flag

-Agender flag

To end off the post, here's the original design:

TLDR; I have scoliosis and am asexual and aromantic, so I thought stupid pun would make good shirt design, and while it's simple it makes me happy and is important to me.

#scoliosis #scoliosis awareness #scoliosis awareness month #pride #pride month #pride flag #rainbow #gay #lesbian #bisexual #pansexual #omnisexual #asexual #aromantic #polyamourous #polyromantic #genderqueer #transgender #nonbinary #intersex #gender fluid #demigirl #demiboy #agender #pride art #art