#couldn't stop writing

[shiraishi-mai]

[And After?]

(kind of a part II but could be read as a stand alone)

You broke up with Atsumu your final year of high school.

Was it because you both would be in separate areas of Japan and you didn’t want to go long-distance? Partially. 

But when you uttered those words, you both knew that wasn’t the real reason. 

You stood in front of him, eyes downcast and refusing to meet his. 

“I’m leaving for Yokohama. I got accepted to university there.”

His eyes widened and you smiled wryly.

“No congratulations?”

“Congratulations.” Atsumu couldn’t help but say flatly.

“I’m guessing you’re going to continue volleyball.” You felt a tinge of regret. You hadn’t bothered to ask him about scouts or recruitment. 

He nodded. “I’ve already gotten offer...None close to Yokohama though.” 

You gave him a small smile and shrugged in what you hoped looked like a nonchalant way. “I want to focus on my studies and I don’t think I’ll be able to do that if I’m trying to make a long-distance relationship work.”

His hand clenched and his eyes took on a stubborn look that usually signalled the beginning of an argument. “I’ll make it work. I can come visit and I’ll make time when I’m not practising to call and -”

“Atsumu.” He ached at the resignation in your voice. 

“‘Tsumu, I need to get away from here. Just start again y’know.”

His eyes flitted toward the boot on your ankle and you unconsciously shifted in discomfort, at the real reason why you were making the decision. He cursed - at it and the entire situation and you couldn’t help but blink back the tears forming at the corners of your eyes. It wasn’t his fault - it was entirely yours. 

There was a thud and a ‘oh my god’ rang out from the women’s volleyball captain.

Atsumu was beside you in an instant. He had watched, wide-eyed in horror, as your leg had crumpled, taking you down with it. 

“Give her space,” the captain’s voice rang out as you clutched at your ankle, face twisted in pain. “What even happened?” 

“I tripped -,” you spit out through clenched teeth. Atsumu saw how your foot had been wrenched in a position it should never be in and felt a rising panic he tried to stifle. Years of experience on the court told him that this was not a minor injury.

You looked up at him with pleading eyes, and he scooped you up, speeding away to the nurse’s office and away from the pitying looks of your teammates.

You groaned in pain and looked at him with panicked eyes. “Atsumu, this-”

“You’ll be fine. It’s okay, it’s going to be fine.” He chanted as if it would make it true. 

Your skin had already turned purple and the area surrounding your ankle had swollen up bigger than an egg. You whimpered, both at the pain shooting up your leg and fear of the consequences of what just happened to you.

A trip to the hospital later and you found yourself hobbling back to school in a few days, ankle held tightly in a brace and leaning against crutches. You knew your ankles were weak from a few sprains over the years and they finally gave up and the muscle had torn. 

Atsumu had held you while you sobbed as the doctor told you that you couldn’t play for the rest of your final year and most likely needed rehab for longer than that. He was there, waiting outside the classroom to carry your bag between classes and helped you around school. He was there when he found you, squatting with your back against the outside of the gym doors, crying about how unfair it was and he was there to shush you when you beat yourself up for being so clumsy. 

It took a while, but eventually you came around and accepted the situation - well you made your peace with it as best you could. You focused on steadily on doing rehab exercises, gritting your teeth and sweating through the pain. You began to joke around again, bickered with Atsumu as you held hands in the school corridors when you graduated to just wearing a boot, and went back to chatting animatedly with your friends. 

Atsumu had tried to be positive and not treat you any differently to maintain some sort of normalcy. But when he realised you no longer came to watch the teams practice, he found it hard to swallow the lump in his throat and felt his chest tighten. He stopped looking towards the stands at games, knowing you weren’t there, and forced a fake smile that reflected yours when you politely congratulated him on his wins. He’d never felt such helplessness whenever he caught you staring absent-mindedly out of the window during class, your eyes dull and shoulders slumped.

“The change will be good for me and I don’t - I don’t really want anything to do with volleyball anymore," you said, confessing what he’d known all year. 

“It might seem dramatic because I know I can do PT and get better again but I’ll never be back to how I used to play.” You shrugged again casually and he hated it. 

“And honestly? I was tired of it anyway. I can’t remember a time I haven’t had bruises or walked without stressing about getting hurt. I like waking up at a normal time and not at the ungodly hours of the morning and not having to force myself to exercise or eat a certain diet. I want to go somewhere completely new and live life free without remembering how difficult all that was.” 

Atsumu felt hollow. “But you loved volleyball so much you never minded that before?” He wanted to yell. But he knew it was hopeless - you were determined to throw volleyball away and he was always going to be a part of that.

And so, you were throwing him away too. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll still be cheering you on, even if I’m not there,” you gave him another smile that he wanted to scream at.

He couldn’t bear to see how hard you were forcing yourself to be normal and he pulled you into his arms and squeezed tightly, as if you’d disappear right then and there. 

“We can keep in touch okay?” 

He nodded into your shoulder, not trusting himself to say anything that could drive you any further away than you were already were. He knew you well after dating you these past couple of years. He knew how stubborn you could be about certain things and while he was equally as stubborn, he didn’t want to end things with the two of you screaming and arguing. He needed to accept that you needed to heal and that you didn’t want his help in doing so. 

Your hand stroked the back of his hair affectionately, untangling the knots and failing to soothe him.

“I’ll see you around, Atsumu.” 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few years passed. You survived university and you managed to get a job back in Osaka at an arts museum and were grateful that your hard work had paid off. You got a new apartment, dated here and there, and went out with friends. All in all, you were content with your life. 

And some nights after work, you’d make a cup of tea, 

snuggle into some blankets on your couch, 

grab the remote,

and watch the MSBY game. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You loved being at the museum. Everything was neat, orderly, and most importantly, quiet. The silence, save for soft murmurs, was comforting. You didn’t have to speak much and spent most of your day hanging out with paintings. It was a stark change from the sounds of balls smashing against wooden floors, sneakers squeaking, and the constant cheers of teammates. Playing such a team-oriented sport had forced you to be around people all the time and you savoured being able to introspect and have alone time now. 

You were in a particularly good mood that day. The cute barista had drawn a flower on your cup, you managed to get on the bus on time, and a new exhibit with one of your favourite artists had just begun.

You weaved in and out of different rooms, occasionally writing down information on your ipad regarding the works to present at a meeting later. The muffled atmosphere was music to your ears until you heard a loud laugh accompanied by not-so-silent whispers.

Ugh who is being so disruptful? Do they not know basic etiquette for places like this?  

The voices grew louder as you walked in that direction and you shook your head. Probably some youths who didn’t know respect. 

You strode into the room ready to scold some rambunctious teen boy when you locked eyes with a very familiar blonde-haired guy. 

He had put his hand by his face in an attempt to whisper to a girl beside him and had frozen with his mouth open when he saw you. You kept a straight face as you walked forward, catching yourself nearly snorting at the “caught-with-his-hand-in-the-cookie-jar” expression he had. 

“Excuse me sir,” you said sternly, “I’m not sure if you read the sign outside, but you are supposed to keep your voice down here.” He straightened stiffly at your tone and the girl he was whispering to looked at you with alarmed eyes.

“I-I’m sorry ma’am.” She stuttered out.

Atsumu tried to stifle a laugh, saving himself by coughing as your eye twitched. Ma’am? I’m not a grandma.

You whipped your attention to him. “And I’ll have you know that we don’t have any exceptions - even for superstar volleyball players.” Your voice was cold but your eyes held a familiar shine, and he relaxed. He made a note that you still sucked at having a poker face and he could tell you weren’t actually mad. 

“What about the handsome ones?” He said grinning but faltered when you didn’t crack. Perhaps he didn’t know you as well as he used to. 

You finally sighed and Atsumu mentally danced in victory as you finally gave up your act. “Especially the handsome ones. We hold those to an even higher standard.” 

“What are you doing here?” he demanded and you shushed him, dragging him out of the room.

“What are you doing here?” he said whispering this time.

“I work here. What are you doing here?” you shot back, “Since when do you go to places like this?”

“Actually he’s been into art for a few years now,” you turned to see Osamu walking towards you grinning. “Hi y/n.”

“'Samuuu,” you greeted and gave him a hug while Atsumu twitched at the exchange. 

“Yeah well I -,” the setter said, scratching the back of his kneck and looking uncomfortable, “It’s an important part of society and culture and stuff.” It's not like he used Osamu to mildly stalk you over the years or anything weird like that.

You looked at him incredulously. "And you chose to come here?”

“No, my fiance wanted to go,” Osamu cut in. “Apparently it has one of the best collections.”

The blonde girl who Atsumu had been whispering to peeked from behind his figure waving. “Hi!” 

You blinked, surprised. You had assumed the beautiful girl was Atsumu’s girlfriend. Not that you cared of course. 

The three of you exchanged pleasantries, Osamu mainly driving the conversation. His restaurant was doing well apparently and he and the girl were due to be married in a month or so. 

“Congratulations!” you squealed, beaming at the both of them. 

“Yer welcome to come,” Osamu said winking and you giggled. Osamu was always easy to talk to and you were glad that hadn’t changed.

“I’ll have to see if I’m free,” you replied with a smile and internally pushed the thought of seeing Atsumu looking radiant in a suit and standing at the end of an aisle out of your mind.

Speaking of the man, he had been uncharacteristically quiet during the conversation - a fact that did not escape his twin. 

“Well,” Osamu said, “Kaori wanted to check out the special exhibit so we’ll head there first.”

The now dark-haired brother dragged his fiance off and with that the two of you were left alone. 

“I should head back-” 

“How are you-” 

Both of you stopped and he scratched the back of his kneck again. “Right yeah you have to work.”

You nodded. “I should go.” 

He bit his lip and looked at the floor. You couldn’t help a small smile looking at such a large man looking so timid. 

“Atsumu.” He glanced up, your eyes locked for the first time. It registered how he was a man now, the softer curves of his face had become more angular and he was even taller than before with a broader build as well. 

“It was really nice to see you again.” A glimmer sparked in his eyes your statement. 

“And we have some cool new exhibits coming up you know since you’re so interested in art and all now…” You trailed off as he shot you a breathtaking grin and you desperately tried to ignore the fact that you were still weak for it even after all these years. 

“Yeah I saw some of the posters. I’ll drop by if I see something I like.” He winked and you almost rolled your eyes as you turned to swiftly walk away, heart pounding in your chest faster than it had in years.

Why did I have to blurt that out??? You groaned internally before speeding off to your meeting. You remembered the warm brown of his eyes. Yep. Definitely still weak. Damn it. 

After that, Atsumu started showing up to the museum. Every Saturday in fact. 

You did a double-take the first time you saw the setter standing in front of a painting with headphones on. You walked over to stand beside him and peeked at him, catching his attention. 

“What are you doing here?” you found yourself parroting when he lowered his headphones.

“It’s a museum,” he said confused, “I’m looking at the artwork. You said to come by?” 

“I-” you tilted your head to the side, a bit flustered at his re-appearance. Ah that was a stupid question why y/n why??

You bit your lip. You didn’t think he’d actually come. Wasn’t he busy??

“Okay, please enjoy our collections.” You said in a formal voice before walking away, cringing at your awkwardness. 

But after a while, you began looking forward to Saturdays and would make an excuse to wander the halls to see where he was. He’d shoot you a toothy smile when he saw you before turning back to the works with a pensive face. Hasn’t he memorised the works by now? You shook your head as you headed back to your office. He did have poor memory from what you remembered. 

As you sat down at your desk, you thought back to what happened years ago, remembering how overwhelming everything felt. It took all this time for you to become yourself again and it had taken nearly repressing most of high school to succeed in forgetting all the trauma. 

But after seeing Atsumu, you remembered all the good that came with those times too. How you’d hit Atsumu with the volleyball the first time you met, the fighting and bickering that came after, and how surprising it was that the two of you ended up dating. How he used to walk you home after both your practices ended and helped you with your serves. How after your injury, he spent his time not practising nodding off beside you in the library to keep you company and his goofy smile when he saw you supporting him at games . He’d even show up at the part time job you took your final year in a desperate attempt to find something to occupy you during all the free time you suddenly had by pretending he was a customer. You fought back a smile. 

Kind of like he was doing now. 

You swung your feet as you sat on the edge of the fountain, the both of you sipping on iced coffees. He’d taken to accompanying you on your break and you’d often go to a nearby cafe together. 

“Are you even allowed to be out in public like this? I mean Sakusa-san’s always in a cap and glasses whenever I see him in the news photos.” 

“Omi hates being social to begin with so he’s extra paranoid when he goes out.” Atsumu shrugged before grinning cockily. That cockiness made you bristle in annoyance - a reflex of yours that hadn’t changed. “What, scared you’ll get caught in a scandal with me?”

“I just don’t want your fangirls coming after me,” you said flatly. 

He scoffed in response. “Don’t tell me you’re scared of them?” 

“I don’t want to be harassed about it. I’ll end up getting pushed around,” you frowned. 

“As if,” he snorted, “You aren’t the type to be bullied so easily.” He felt the ghost of a volleyball slamming into his back and chuckled.

Your frown deepened in disagreement and Atsumu glanced at you before continuing. He never liked to see you doubt yourself. You used to be so confident, standing on the court steadfastly with your eyes alight with mischief. Even when you told him you got into university, there had been a prideful look on your face that he had been relieved to see.  

“Though it might be a good idea to have a few photos snapped of us. Our PR team says I need to shake off this playboy image.” 

“Image?”

An indignant noise erupted from the man beside you. “Contrary to popular belief, I am NOT a fuckboy. When do I have the time to sleep around? I’m either at practice, matches, or here with you!” He pouted and crossed his arms. 

“I’m honoured that the great Atsumu Miya chooses to grace me with his presence during my busy work day,” you said dryly. 

“Exactly, you’d be lucky to be caught with me,” he said, winking. 

“Still a celebrity I see,” you said shaking your head and opted to look away to focus on the bustle of people around the plaza.

“I’m not bothering ya, right?” You looked at him, confused, as he kept his gaze on the passersby as well. “Ya know, from yer busy work day.” 

“Since when do you care about things like that?” Miya Atsumu was not the type to ask permission to intrude on someone’s life. 

“I didn’t know if it would be okay,” he said softly and in a tone much more serious than you expected. “To see you again. I know we tried to leave on good terms but…” 

You knew what he was talking about. It was good terms - well the best you could do at the time but there was a sense of uneasiness. As if you lost something and you had been so eager to get away that you didn’t realise just what you lost. Seeing him again brought memories back, memories of a time that meant a great deal to you.  

“Why do you come back then?” 

“I can’t seem to stay away,” he said, chuckling weakly. 

“Don’t tell me you haven’t gotten over me yet or something,” you teased, trying to lighten the mood. When Atsumu didn’t respond you felt your breath hitch as your throat felt suddenly tighten. You snuck a peek at him and when your gazes locked, both of you cleared your throats looking away quickly. 

“Osamu’s wedding is next week,” he suddenly said, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“Oh right. He must be excited,” you smiled. It was nice that your friend had gotten such a happy ending.

“Want to be my plus one?” 

“I believe I was invited.” You raised an eyebrow at him. 

He mirrored your raised eyebrow and said, “What, so you’re bringing a plus one?” You laughed at his audacity in automatically thinking you didn’t.

“Maybe I am? You never asked me if I had a boyfriend ‘Tsumu.” 

He frowned. “Well do ya? It’s hard to do better than me, you know.”

“Wow, you’re still a dick.”

“And you still dated me. So do you?” 

You wanted to press your palms to your eyes in exasperation. How was he still the same?  

“No I do not have a boyfriend, Atsumu.”

“What a coincidence,” he said, shooting you the toothy smile. “I don’t have one either so we can go together.”

“You don’t have a boyfriend?” 

This time it was Atsumu that felt a surge of exasperation. “A date smartass. So it’s perfect if we go together.” 

 He cut off your noise of protest at his sudden declaration by waving his hand, “I think your break is almost over. I’ll text you more about it later okay?” he said and walked off, turning around once to frantically wave goodbye at you.

You gave a half-hearted wave before making a shoo-ing motion at him. As you watched him finally turn and leave, you felt your smile slowly fading. You wanted to keep Atsumu at a distance and you had a strong instinct to flee - to go back to ignoring that part of your life. But how could you? You stupidly still found him charming after all these years. Miya Atsumu was slowly managing to worm his way back into your life and you found you were reluctant to kick him out. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

At the insistence of his fiance, Osamu had decided to hold his wedding near the beach. You had been stunned at how pretty the venue was and admittedly a bit jealous at how gorgeous Kaori looked when she was showing you her wedding gown. You were also a bit nervous at spending a whole weekend with Atsumu around and knowing his personality, he would make sure he’d be harassing you the entire time. 

Your suspicions were indeed correct. After you arrived at the hotel, you slid your key card into your room lock and found the red light blinking, preventing your access to a hot shower you desperately needed. You grunted in annoyance, dumping your heavy suitcase on the ground and aggressively slid the card in and out. The red light continued to greet you and you swore in response. 

“Why is this not working??”

You heard a click and the door opened to reveal a damp Atsumu, towel slung around his neck and wearing nothing but boxer shorts.

“I thought I heard a sailor with a potty mouth,” he grinned, rubbing the end of the towel against his hair to dry it. 

“Atsumu?? What are you doing in my room??”

“y/n I think you mean my room?”

“What? I’m in room 261?”

“You’re in 262,” he said simply and pointed down the hall.

You blinked at him and he snatched the card from your limp hand, lifting your discarded bag from the floor.

You spluttered uselessly as you trailed after him. He slid the card in and green light betrayed you. He easily opened the door and looked at you pointedly, “See this is what it looks like when you use the key for the right door.” 

“Whatever,” you grumbled and just as you were about to thank him, he strolled through the door. 

“What are you doing? I never said you could go in!”

“Nice,” he said looking around. “It’s the same as mine.”

“No shit,” you were about to say but yelped again when he dumped both your suitcase and himself on the bed. 

“I swear your bed is softer,” he remarked as he laid sprawled out on his back. 

“You’re getting it wettt,” you whined and he propped himself up on his elbows, his eyebrow lifting. 

“You have a hot, shirtless pro-athlete on your bed and you’re complaining about the bed getting wet?” 

“I think I’m more questioning why you have boxers with ducks on them,” you mocked trying to ignore that you did, in fact, have a hot, shirtless pro-athlete on your bed.  

His lips stretched into a familiar shit-eating grin. “Maybe you’re just grouchy that YOU aren’t wet on the-.” 

“MIYA ATSUMU,” you screamed, horrified as you rushed over to clamp a hand over his mouth. Of course, you being you, you nearly tripped as you reached the bed and you yelped as strong arms pulled you forward. 

Your palms landed on a VERY solid chest and you looked up to see Atsumu’s face dangerously close to yours. Your eyes widened and you pushed yourself up only to have warm hands grip your thighs, stopping your attempt to get off of the offensive boy.

His eyebrows shot up as you sat, straddled on top of him. “Now we can change that if you-”

“UGH,” you threw your body weight to the side and tumbled off the bed. 

“Nice to see you’re still clumsy.” He peered down at your dishevelled figure sitting on the floor glaring at him. “How you managed to play a sport, I’ll never know.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, Atsumu regretted it. He internally cursed as you refused to meet his eyes, lips twisting unhappily. His mouth was dry as he tried to smooth over his mistake.

 “I mean I didn’t-” He stammered. 

“I don’t know if you recall Miya,” You nearly spit and you saw him flinch as you stood up putting your hands on your hips. “But I was an EXCELLENT volleyball player.”

Yours eyes flashed at him in a defiant way and he nearly fell for you all over again.

“Ehh but your serves kinda sucked.” 

“Oh I don’t think you’re in a position to call my serves shit Mr. ‘Don't make me lose my focus or I’ll throw a temper tantrum’.” 

“Though,” you pondered for a moment. “You don’t seem to mind people cheering nowadays.”

He sat up, a triumphant smile slowly spreading across his face this time. “Oho and how would you know that? Has someone been stalking my games?”

Your eye twitched and your mouth opened and closed. You wracked your brain desperately for a way to deny this without sounding stupid before settling for a lame, “Get out Miya.” 

“You know if you wanna come watch all you have to do is ask, princess,” he said half-jokingly, half-hopeful that you would make the request. 

“Leave Miya,” you repeated, refusing to acknowledge that you did want to see him play. “I’m going to take a shower and I don’t wanna see you when I get out,” you warned as you moved towards the bathroom. 

“I can help you if you feel lonely~” he chuckled as he heard the door slam. Not wanting to push your wrath any further, he got up stretching before leaving the room. 

He was greeted with a face identical to his standing outside the door. 

��Ah so this is why you asked for the room next door to y/n.” 

“You were listening? Creep.” He said, striding past Osamu towards his own room. 

“I’m glad the two of you seem to be getting along,” he heard the amusement laced in his brother’s voice. 

“Yeah,” Atsumu said softly with his hand paused on the handle of his door. “I hope we are.” 

There was a silence between the two brothers and they distantly heard the sound of kids running down the hallways of the hotel somewhere.

“What? Too reluctant to leave her already?” 

Atsumu grimaced and Osamu nearly threw his hands up. “I know you’re whipped but she’s next door ‘Tsumu.” 

“Osamu,” Atsumu said in a serious manner that made his twin scrunch his face in concern. “I forgot my key card.” 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sun was setting as Atsumu blearily opened his eyes. He hadn’t had a nap in years and it felt weird to actually get some rest. He rolled over to grab his phone and saw a message from his brother.

If you plan on waking up anytime soon, we’ll be down at the beach. 

He groaned and opted to scroll through instagram when he got another message. 

[y/n]  is here too.

He remained unmoving on his back for a moment before groaning again and rolled his eyes up towards the ceiling at the bait his twin set. Pulling on a pair of red basketball shorts and throwing on an old Stussy shirt, he made his way down to the beach. 

The sound of seagulls and crashing waves greeted him as his feet hit the sand. There were yells, the sounds of laughter, and he was surprised to see a volleyball net set up nearby. His eyes flitted towards Kaori blowing Osamu a kiss from across the net and froze as he saw a familiar figure yell at her about fraternising with the enemy.

There you were, face glowing with excitement, standing at the service line and spinning a volleyball in your hands. His feet took off towards the net before he could think and his gaze was glued to you as your palm made contact with the ball. 

He could practically hear your ‘tsk’ sound as Osamu dug it up and he couldn’t help but worriedly look at your ankle as you crouched low. Kaori jumped to block and his heart pounded in anticipation.

You darted out and dove, sending the ball high into the air. You scrambled to quickly get up and jogged back, your eyes following the set arching back towards you. 

Atsumu unconsciously held his breath as he watched you jump, feet kicked back behind you and arm drawn back - the orange sunset behind you highlighting your form. 

A malicious smile spread across your face as you found Osamu jumping up to reach over the net and you spiked against his arms. 

“OUT,” his fiance screamed as the ball ricocheted off the block and outside the court.

“C’mon ‘Samu,” Atsumu heard your teasing voice. “You must be getting old if you let me score off of you like that.” You finally noticed his figure by the makeshift court and perked up. “Oh, 'Tsumu’s awake!” 

He finally let out a breath when he saw you and Kaori waving excitedly at him. “Atsumu! Come join us!”

“Aw, how is that fair,” Osamu’s teammates groaned. “You guys can’t have a professional player on your team!”

“Suck it up,” you stuck a tongue out at him. “Atsumu is mine so you can’t have him.” You laughed gleefully at the protest that came from the opposing side and you playfully nudged him as he came to stand beside you at the net. 

He smiled down at you for a second and as you stared into his eyes, momentarily mesmerised. He looked at you with such familiarity and warmth and you couldn’t help but shyly smile in return. 

Your gaze was interrupted by a low growl. 

Atsumu’s eyes flitted up to meet his twin's through the net. “Pro or not, 'Tsumu you’re going down.” 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The games continued until the stars were coming out and you all settled around a fire, snacking on fruit as a reward for all the exercise. You felt the sand shift and Atsumu plopped down beside you. 

“I didn’t know you played.” 

You grimaced at the slight hint of betrayal in his voice.

“I can’t seem to stay away,” you laughed, repeating his words from the fountain. “I play some pickup games here and there.”

“...and you’re all healed now?”

“Yeah,” you said quietly. “I go to PT but the muscle has been healed for a while. I have to wear a brace when I play but it’s more out of caution.” 

“It still creaks sometimes though,” you made a face. 

“Still. It’s good to see you stand on a court again.” 

You looked over and winced at the expression on his face. He had a wry smile that didn't suit his face and a distant look to his eyes. 

“I’m sorry Atsumu.” His gaze remained trained towards the darkness of the ocean. “I realised I never apologised for treating you badly back then. I know it’s not an excuse, but I was angry and hurt and all I could think was to get away to protect myself. I couldn’t think about anything else - anyone else.”

A muscle flexed in his jaw. “I know. I know better than anyone but god y/n, I was there for you wasn’t I?” He couldn’t help the reproach in his voice. “And you,” he bit his lip. “You just threw me away.” 

With those words, Atsumu realised what he’d been feeling since your breakup all those years ago - resentment. He felt guilty for doing so and he’d pushed it deep down but it was threatening to spill out from him now. 

“‘'Samu quit playing and then you left,” he said hoarsely. “You both left me alone.” 

“You had your team,” you tried to argue weakly. 

“Wasn’t the same.” He shook his head, broad shoulders slumping and he tucked his knees up, resting his head on them. “And you said that you would always be there for me," he said in a small voice.  

This boy - no this man - had done so much for you. Back in high school and now, he remained insistent on being by your side, even when you pushed him away. 

“I’m sorry,” you repeated lamely. “I can’t thank you enough for supporting me and loving me then.”

“And I’m thankful that you’re in my life again.” You reached out a hand to cover his. His palm turned and he wrapped his fingers around yours. “I know I’m late,” you hesitated, gathering your courage before taking the plunge. “I’d like to be a part of yours again, if you’d let me.” 

The blonde setter finally looked at you and his eyes crinkled in a joyful manner that suddenly made you see the image of a younger, teen Miya Atsumu - the one you had loved so much. You both felt something - as if you found a missing puzzle piece fallen on the floor - placed back into its rightful place. 

“I’d like that."

Epilogue

“Relax, she said she’s running late right?” A sullen boy with raven curly hair pushed Atsumu towards the court. The stadium was already loud as people waited in anticipation for the MSBY match to start. 

He nodded, repeating to himself that you indeed sent him a text earlier saying you would be late. Besides, they were just warming up. The match hadn’t started yet and there was plenty of time left.

The empty seat beside Osamu seemed to mock him as he recalled the time when he ached upon seeing it empty yet again. He shook his head as if to clear it as the whistle blew to signal the teams should start warming up their serves. 

“WHOO let’s go ‘'Tsumu!” 

His eyes couldn’t leave your figure, clad in his jersey, lifting both your arms in the air and shaking pom poms. He let out a smile, one goofy enough that Sakusa rolled his eyes as he mouthed an ‘i love you,’ towards the stands.

He looked away triumphantly at your stunned figure as the whistle blew, this time to signal the beginning of the match. He focused his mind toward the game giddily and cemented his resolve that they would win today.

Because the seat was finally filled. You were there.

Right where you were supposed to be. 

#dear lord this was long #but i kinda like it #couldn't stop writing #atsumu miya #atsumu angst #atsumu fluff #astumu x reader #atsumu miya x reader #hq atsumu #haikyuu fic #haikyuu x reader #atsumu x y/n #atsumu imagines

[somnimagus]

My page for @sheikahzine; about Impaz's duty to her village, empty of people and full of memories.

[id in alt text]

#legend of zelda #loz #twilight princess #loz tp #i'm still reeling that someone sent me an ask about this one.. that they took the time to find my tumblr and tell me they liked it #it really meant a lot; thank you to anyone that stops to leave comments like that. they make me happy #but yeah! here's the usual symbolism ramble: #i thought it'd be cool to have the 'spirits' flowing one way and the cats walking through them the other way #to kinda show the difference in life inhabiting the village in the past and present #link's face is covered because impaz was just waiting for 'the hero' so his clothes are what matters; not his face #and it (hopefully) gives a surreal and intangible sense to 'the hero' she could only hope would actually show up #you can feel free to interpret the glowy blue sheikah as ghosts or just as memories of the past! i couldn't decide either way #the one on the bottom left is oot impa since she's implied to be the village founder. so i guess she would be a ghost actually? #fan art #my art #project stuff #and ahhh the book-- everyone's stuff is so beautiful!! #especially the writing. some of the fics made me really tear up and some were so fun and clever. i really love them #a lot of them captured the sheer burden of the role of the sheikah; all of the time and grief and doubt #i know i always say this stuff about every project but. the people i get to work with in these are truly so skilled every time

[xan-from-space]

Senshi is probably the most fandomized character in Dungeon Meshi, and while I don't exactly mind it, I do think he has more depth than that. I find all his little quirks and idiosyncrasies to be fascinating; he's very stubborn and set in his ways about things that seemingly don't matter, he thinks about things that other people don't, he has a deeply set value system that informs everything he does. He cares A Lot, like, this man cares So Much. That's the kind of person you have to be to drop everything to help a random group of adventurers save one woman. But because he feels so strongly about things, he can also be surprisingly immature at times (although he's also the character most likely to admit he was wrong about something). I think part of that is because he's lived in the dungeon on his own so long that he's not used to working with other people. He will extend empathy and friendship to almost anyone, but he does things his own way, and he doesn’t always feel the need to explain his way of thinking because again, he's usually on his own. He's both incredibly wise and kind of childish in ways that seem contradictory at first, but make more and more sense the more we learn about him. Major kudos to Ryoko Kui's writing and pacing to make that transition so seamless and have all those details from his backstory click into place perfectly. And on a wider thematic level, Senshi is kind of a perfect counterpart to characters like Thistle (or any other dungeon lord). Senshi understands the dungeon in ways that even its creator doesn't. Although everyone is scrambling to take control of the dungeon, Senshi is the one who actually takes care of it. He's the one who thinks about things like nutrition and proper sleep and the ecosystem, all those things that it's easy to ignore when you get swept up by the grandeur of it all. He's the most important character to have present in a story that explores life and death and hunger. His constant, invisible presence holds everything together.

#I'm not finished it yet so I don't want to make any big sweeping claims about what his story means in the greater context of the manga #but. I really like him so. Senshi thought dump #I really thought this was going to be shorter...idk if I really got what I wanted to say across but once I started writing I couldn't stop #dungeon meshi #dunmeshi #delicious in dungeon #senshi #senshi of izganda #edit: yeah I should probably tag this #dungeon meshi spoilers #shouldn't I

[disastersareajoy]

Pussy Drunk Thomas Hewitt - Drabble

Thomas Hewitt x FEM!Reader

Tags: established relationship, cunnilingus, forced orgasms, talk of bruises, wet and messy, squirting, dacryphilia, overstimulation

Word count: 1.1k

fucking obsessed with the idea of Thomas getting absolutely, down bad, pussy-drunk as soon as he gets a taste

like his virgin-ass being too afraid of hurting you to fuck you at first and getting on his knees for you. he gets a taste, kind of pulls back and licks his lips and you can see his pupils dilate and his eyes fucking glaze over and he just falls face first into your pussy

sloppy, wet, spit slick, hungry oral from that man. his teeth bump into you in all the right ways sometimes. one moment he's whimpering into you and the next he's grumbling and trying to get his tongue deeper and deeper into you to taste more

and it does not matter to him when you beg for him to slow down and how you can't cum anymore. because you keep dripping on his face and tongue and making wonderful noises and you just taste so fucking good, how could he stop??

his arms wrap around your thighs and he holds onto them hard and firm and keeps you pulled close to his face. you can feel that it's gonna bruise and you're going to cherish those bruises for days

he doesn't even notice how hard he's gripping you because he's trying to get all of his senses filled with you. he tastes, smells and feels nothing but you. the only thing his ears can focus on are your moans and whimpers. his hands massage your thighs periodically and when he opens his eyes it's just to look at your face, thrown back in pleasure. the only thing better is when you're looking down at him with tears in your eyes, still moaning for him

Tommy is completely drunk off your taste. he loves the feeling of your pussy on his tongue and he loves the little whining groan you let out when he sucks on your clit

now, when he keeps going and going and your hand in his hair trying to push him away finally falls to your side, he doesn't even realize what he's doing next. it's all out of instinct when his hands readjust so his arms stay wrapped around your thighs but his thumbs are spreading open your folds. that's when he really loses it

because he can get his tongue even deeper like that. he can bury it inside you and find the spot that makes you drip a little more and that makes you moan all broken and needy. once he finds it he abuses the fuck out of it. keeps licking over it, poking at it with his tongue and savoring every drop of you that spills into his mouth

and then. his holy grail. you grab his hair again and moan louder. you're sobbing and begging him to slow down because it feels different this time. he doesn't listen of course. all he knows is you're about to do that thing again where he can feel your pussy flutter and twitch and your thighs squeeze around him and your moans get all whimpery

he keeps going until your hips lift up into him. he stays attached to your pussy and keeps doing what he's doing, knowing he can't stop. needs to keep going to get you to do that thing

suddenly you gasp and go completely quiet. then you moan so loud it's almost a scream. a sobbing sort of thing that's absolutely gorgeous to him. on top of that your hips start wildly shaking along with your legs and your pleasure starts gushing out of you

Tommy moans into your juices and gets closer if that's even possible at that point. he shakes his head so he rubs over your clit side to side while he keeps his tongue abusing that spot inside you. and fuck does he get drenched. he swallows down as much as he can of you and whimpers into it. anything he can't get, drips down his face and drenches his shirt and lap

once you come down you realize he's still going and you can't handle it anymore. you start crying more and weakly kicking your legs out which finally makes Tommy look up. he sees your devastated face and while he thinks the sweat mixed with tears and drool, as well as the tortured pleasure in your eyes is a heavenly sight, he listens to your weak pleas

he finally pulls away and you sigh in relief. Tommy stays away from your pussy (as much as he hates it) and spends his time licking your thighs clean. just a minute away from your pussy makes him whimper and look up at you pleadingly. your legs are still shaking and you shake your head at him

so Tommy whines and starts biting your thighs instead, getting closer and closer to your pussy until he's mouthing right next to it. you're shaking and sweating and still losing a coupe tears when he licks flat over your clit once. then your back arches and you gasp, trying not to make too loud a noise

you know if you moan he's gonna start again and you think he might actually kill you that time. he softly licks over your clit again, wraps his lips around it and you slap a hand over your mouth. but Tommy sees your lack of noise as a sign to keep going and starts sucking on your clit. when his teeth graze over it your hand whips away from your mouth to his hair and you yell out a moan that ends with a broken whine

immediately you know you're in for it. Tommy moans happily and grabs your thighs hard once more. he dives into you again and gets back to his sloppy, needy and enthusiastic pace without hesitation. all you can do is moan, whimper and whine as Tommy makes you see stars over and over again

he's obsessed with making you squirt on his face and listening to your whimpers as he tastes you. he loves the feeling of your heartbeat in your clit, pounding against his tongue

sometimes you can't get him off of your pussy until he's had at least a couple hours of his way with you. he's obsessed with your pussy and a single taste makes him entirely lose his mind. he'd do anything to fall to his knees in front of you

he would spend forever between your thighs if it was up to him

your pussy is his paradise and his salvation. every gush of your juices is a baptism of wonder. you are his goddess and he worships you at every turn

#thomas hewitt x reader #thomas hewitt #TCM #texas chainsaw massacre #texas chainsaw the beginning #thomas hewitt smut #texas chainsaw smut #DisastersAreAJoyDrabbles #this was supposed to be a short idea #and then i just couldn't stop #Tommy has been haunting me lately and this just wouldn't stop playing over in my mind #if literally anyone wants this idea more fleshed out and an actual fic lmk #will absolutely write it if only one person says yes #ill probably write it anyways #HES HAUNTING ME AND I LOVE IT

[inkskinned]

i keep thinking about hobbies and how i often spill over myself to pick up new ones. i have adhd, i end up trying something for like a month and then just getting far enough in it that i move on, satisfied.

and that should be fine; but it's never fine.

i am a pretty decent artist; but i can't just make art for my dnd campaign, i should be selling dnd maps and character designs and scene setting pieces. i can't just make my friends matching earrings, i need to get an etsy and ship them internationally and take bulk orders. i make pretty good props and decorations and use them to throw my friends parties - but i should be running a party planning business and start taking paying clients and networking and putting my skills to actual use.

for some reason, i never figured out the specifics of pottery. it was a fun class and i enjoyed myself - and still, i'm embarrassed, years later, that i put in all that useless effort. everything i make has to be stunning. stellar. i should have applied myself more. maybe i'm too lazy. maybe i'm broken and selfish and needy. actually creative people would have kept going; they would be bettering themselves at every possible opportunity.

we find ourselves in this trap, even accidentally: we need to commodify our time, because it is a commodity. if we spend our efforts and our time not earning, isn't that the same thing as burning free money? and god forbid you ever take up a hobby that ends up being more expensive than you thought. you sit in your car and you look at the receipt and in your head you hear a conversation that isn't even happening - your mom or your friend or your partner all saying oh great. not this shit again. it's always something with you, and it never actually means anything.

i have realized this horrible thing, recently - i'll get excited to start a project, pick up a new hobby. and then i just... stop myself. i start thinking about the amount of time it will take, and how it'll look in my monthly budget. what if i can't even produce a good enough final product. sure, it's exciting to think about how i could make my friend her own custom dice. but i'm just polluting the earth if i don't get it right. better not bother. better not try.

restless, i get caught in the negative space. the feeling that oh god, i want to create. and that horrible sense - yeah, but i don't have the time to just put to waste.

#hobbies #writeblr #what stage of weirdness to write about hobbies on my hobby writing blog #although i know OBJECTIVELY i am a creative person #i often forget to label myself that bc i don't feel im an ARTISTIC person bc i don't do anything like that professionally #writing doesn't even feel like a hobby i think that surprises nobody for me to be like #it would be easier for me to stop . like. breathing. #which feels cheesy and trite but listen im running late for a meeting and all i really want to say is like #i couldn't even consider writing my hobby bc it makes my skin crawl bc it makes it sound like it's not important to me #bc we really devalue hobbies. like entirely. #it HAS to be a job. it must #also idk if this is clear but i personally get stuck in this space where i CANT create bc i am putting so much pressure on myself #to make it RIGHT #and im like ... idk i only have an hour #so probably shouldnt get involved in this thing

[starrystevie]

18+ | explicit sex & smoking | read here on ao3

it's 1996 when steve's world gets turned upside down again.

or, well, technically it's a few minutes into '97 when everything changes. he's at a new years party that his ex timothy is hosting and everyone is still hooting and hollering as they ring it in, pressing sloppy kisses to cheeks and lips with arms hooked around necks.

steve doesn't get kissed. not because people aren't eyeing him with a smirk and mischief and open arms of their own. no, he doesn't let himself get kissed because something feels... off about the night. the energy is weird, buzzing through his skin like electricity, keeping him on edge in a way he hasn't been since he left hawkins for boston in the fist place.

it isn't long until he figures out why.

timmy is walking up to him with his hands on some guy's shoulders, pushing him backwards with a wide smile like he's trying to convince him of something. the guy is about his height, short cropped dark hair and a leather jacket, the sight of his back alone getting steve excited. timmy always did know his type to a t.

"hey!" timmy yells over the music as he catches steve's eye. "got someone for you to meet."

once the guy turns around, the smiles on both steve and the mystery guy's faces fall before their minds catch up with them and plaster them back together. even with the short cropped hair, even with the piercing in his eyebrow, even with the stubble spreading over his defined jaw, steve would know that face, that heartbeat, anywhere.

"steve, i wanted to introduce you to someone. jamie, this is steve, you know... the guy i was telling you about?"

timmy's trying to be helpful, not even attempting to be subtle as he pushes the two closer together with a wide grin. steve's going on autopilot, reaching out a hand to grab the one outstretched towards him, but his brain is going a million miles a minute.

"nice to meet you, steve," eddie, or... jamie, says, palm pressed tightly against his own.

steve can't say anything, focusing too much on the warmth on his palm and the way his deep voice shakes through him like thunder and the way he feels like he's 19 again with a stuttering heart.

"what are-" he starts.

eddie shakes his head and tugs on steve's hand. "not here. come on."

they end up in a secluded corner, close enough that steve can smell smoke and leather polish and the sharp bite of his cologne. close enough that he can see the lines starting to appear on the corners of eddie's eyes, the stray grey hairs popping up in his beard, the questions swirling behind his eyes.

"eddie."

"jamie," is all he says back, not even bothering to look away from steve's eyes. "it's jamie now."

they both sigh like they don't know where to start because they don't. steve grapples with all the questions in his mind before settling on one. the one that tore through him late at night. the one that stayed on the tip of his tongue anytime he heard a van backfire or metallica.

"where did you go?" he knows it sounds like an accusation because it is. he doesn't let himself feel bad when eddie (jamie) flinches.

"feds," he replies easily, sneaking a cigarette out of his pocket and putting it between his lips. he tilts his head back to light it away from steve's face, blowing smoke up towards the ceiling. "once i got better, they scooped me up and brought me to boston. new name, new hairstyle, new life. at least they let me choose my name so i didn't get stuck with some thing awful."

steve snorts. "so you ended up with 'jamie' how?"

"middle name's james. it just made sense." he says it with a shrug and puffs at his cigarette again.

they look at each other for a moment. steve watches his tongue flit out of his mouth to wet his lips, watches the overhead lights glint off the metal of a surprise tongue piercing, watches his throat swallow around nothing but spit.

he can see, feel, eddie doing the same. he hams it up, pulls his lip between his teeth and makes it a show, looks back up at eddie from under his lashes. takes in a deep breath when eddie inches closer to him until their hips are bumping and steve plucks the cigarette out of his lips for a puff of his own.

he's 19 again, in love or like or lust with a boy in a leather jacket that has the world against him. he's 19 again, working a hand over himself to thoughts of his crush who up and vanished without so much as a goodbye. he's 19 again, crying after he comes, wishing he could go back in time before he met curly hair and a battle vest.

"so how do you know tim?" eddie whispers like he has to be quiet even though the part is loud and no one could hear them if they tried.

"how do you know him?" steve asks back, blowing out smoke and putting the cigarette back between eddie's barely spread lips.

his eyes flick down to look at steve's still pursed lips from when he angled the smoke over his shoulder. "we used to fuck, once upon a time when i first got to boston."

steve hums like it's the answer he expected and maybe it is. "same here. dated for about a year."

eddies eyes grow wide and his hip bumps into steve's like it's a question in and of itself and maybe it is. "didn't know you swing that way, harrington."

"well, you don't really know anything about me then, do you? didn't back then either, munson."

his eyes goes even wider, something like fear and shame and comfort and hope swimming in them. "leonard. it's leonard now."

steve hums again, says 'jamie leonard' like he's feeling it out on his tongue. tasting it between his teeth. teaching his mouth how to form the words instead of what he really wants to say like 'eddie' or 'munson' or 'i'm still somehow in love with you no matter your name'.

"jamie leonard," he says again, breath hitting eddie's lips. he shivers when he sees his lips part a bit more like he wants to swallow the sound and air that steve gives him. "we have a lot to catch up on, don't we?"

steve's apartment isn't all that big, isn't exactly small either but it has everything he could possibly need. he has a living room that looks out over the harbor and a kitchen with all new appliances and eddie munson naked in his bedroom. you know, the essentials.

their clothes are all over the floor, eddie's motorcycle helmet flung somewhere in the vague direction of the armchair in the corner but the smack it makes when it hits the wall makes steve think there's probably a hole in the drywall.

but eddie's sucking on his cock, hands wrapped around his thighs as he takes him even deeper, eyes flicking up to meet steve's, beard scratchy as it rubs against his sensitive skin. he's never been blown by someone with a tongue piercing but he doesn't think he can ever go back now.

the last thing on his mind is wondering if there's a hole in the goddamn wall.

"oh fuck, yeah there you go. feels so goddamn good," steve breathes out as he feels the back of eddie's throat on his cockhead. he tangles a hand as best he can in his short dark hair to try and coax him even deeper. eddie hums at either the praise or the tug on his hair or the way it feels as he works his tongue over steve's cock and it makes him jolt unexpectedly.

if he could go back in time and tell his 19 year old self that eddie was alive, that he was okay and breathing and learning how to suck cock like a goddamn professional, he'd do it in a heartbeat. save himself a few years of pining and fly straight out to boston to see it for himself. he's sure robin would have preferred to not have to listen to his whining everyday about brown eyes and dark curls.

eddie brings a hand to cup his balls, finger teasingly pressing into steve's taint, bobbing his head eagerly like he wants him to come in his mouth, but steve has other plans. he tugs eddie off of his cock quickly, lines of thick spit falling between them and sticking to his chin before crowding him up against the pillows.

steve kisses like he's dying and eddie is survival. he kisses him like he is drowning and eddie is the shore that he's clawing his way towards. he kisses him like 19 year old steve could only dream about.

soon enough, steve's sliding into him with a groan that he lets eddie swallow from him. the headboard knocks heavily into the wall a few times making even more possible holes, but all steve can focus on is the heat around him, the way eddie's whines bounce off the walls of his too empty bedroom and cover him like a blanket.

he likes fucking this way. he likes being able to watch as someone's face contorts into pleasure, like to see eyes rolling back and mouths dropping open and sweat beading around their hairline. likes seeing eddie fall apart.

"steve, oh my god," eddie's voice is still deeper than he's used to as he moans so he angles his hips up more to hear it again, the low timbre snaking through his veins and leaving fire in its wake. "don't stop."

"i won't," he groans into eddie's open mouth. "wanted this for so long, for fucking 11 years, not giving you up yet."

it's a bit more open than steve normally is when he first fucks someone but this isn't just someone. this isn't fucking a stranger he picked up in a bar that had almost the right shade of brown eyes and patches on his jacket that are almost the right shape. this is eddie. his eddie. or well... jamie.

"fuck, i'm gonna date you so fucking hard, harrington. yeah, right there keep going, shit-"

he's babbling as steve works his hips faster, tangling their free hands together to press above their heads on a pillow, and it's everything steve could have asked for. hearing his name fall from the lips he's dreamed about for years, sharing the same air as they breath into one another.

he thought he was over it, thought he had moved on at least a little bit from a halfway stranger he knew in his teens, but with the way they're both looking straight into each other's eyes begging each other to see them, he thinks they might both be back in 1986.

"what do-" steve cuts himself off as he whimpers, close, so close to the finish line. "what do you want me to call you? is it jamie or-"

he's shaking his head on the pillow, leaning up to bite at steve's lips and pull it between his teeth. he looks serious and certain when he says, "no, that name's not for you, it's... i need-"

steve brings his hand down to work over his cock and revel in the way his eyes roll back until he can only see white. he hits something that makes his eyes fly back open and he gets to see his favorite shade of brown again.

"eddie," he whispers. leaning down quickly, steve presses a kiss to his ear before whispering his favorite name there too. "eddie, baby, come on. let me... come on, eddie."

it feels silly to be chanting a name of a ghost as intensely as he is. but he can see it crawl over eddie like it's bringing him back to life. like he isn't bones on the ground in an alternate dimension. like he isn't a plain headstone in a graveyard next to a forgotten trailer park. like he isn't playing pretend with a fake name and a fake life.

steve says eddie and it brings him home.

afterwards, they lay together in steve's probably too soft bed, tears drying on both of their cheeks as they catch up. as they tell each other secrets that their younger selves could never dare. as the piece together the lives they have and the lives they want to have and slot each other into the mix.

steve has a hand in eddie's hair, eddie has one trailing over steve's arm that's slung over his chest. he's always been a fan of cuddling after sex.

"y'know," eddie mutters, "tim's been trying to get me to meet his hot teacher friend for months now."

steve hums, presses a kiss to his temple. "and he's been trying to get me to meet his hot motorcycle tech for months, too."

there are a few holes in the walls from the headboard and eddie's helmet, but steve thinks that they can patch those up, too.

he's still jamie leonard to the outside world. he's still a guy who doesn't have much family other than a mysterious uncle in indiana and doesn't have many friends other than ex boyfriends. he still introduces himself with a handshake and says a fake name like it's real.

but when he gets home, when he crawls onto a couch that overlooks the harbor and has arms wrapped around him, he gets to be eddie munson once more. and with the ghost of a man in his arms, steve harrington feels more like himself than he ever thought he would.

#this was going to be something entirely different but i couldn't stop myself so.... here u go #steddie #my writing #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie drabble #steddie ficlet #steddie fic #steddie smut #unedited so pls ignore any typos teehee

[heart-of-the-morningstar]

✨Dress Up, Part 2: The Ceremony✨

Well well well, looks like you guys won. You get a continuation of this fic that was meant to be a one shot lmao! I had some awesome people to bounce ideas off of and I couldn't do this without them. I hope you enjoy this chapter, it's time for the wedding! But you know I can't go a chapter without writing a little smut hehe~

*** - Scene change ~~~ - Flashback

Lucifer x f!sinner reader

Summary: It's wedding day! And Lucifer is more than willing to try and convince you to the leave the reception early...

Warnings: 18+, smut, hand job, oral (m receiving)

"You know, if you don't quit your pacing back and forth, you're gonna wear out the carpet..."

***

It had only been a week since the proposal and the wedding was already here. But this is what you both wanted; a nice quiet wedding with only a handful of people with everyone else in Hell being none the wiser. You had to beg Lucifer for the week you got in between, he was practically ready to say "I do" once he put that engagement ring on your hand. It may have seemed like you two were moving a little bit fast considering most weddings take months, sometimes years to plan out! But when you're marrying the King of Hell, there really was next to nothing to worry about when it came to your special day.

The new hotel was the perfect venue, complete with a beautiful ballroom that could rival any chapel on Earth. The guest list was extremely exclusive consisting of only the occupants of the hotel, minus one Radio Demon, not that he would attend even if he was invited. It was Charlie who suggested that he protect the hotel today from any threat that might make itself known. On top of that, Charlie was more than happy to be the officiant, as being the Princess of Hell granted her that authority. Money was no object to the Morningstar family, so no expense was spared.

But regardless of any of that, Lucifer couldn't help but worry. You had one other request for him after he popped the question.

~~~

"I hate to ask more of you after asking for a week to prepare," you started, putting on the last of your clothes that you had discarded during your fun little teasing display, "but..." Lucifer approached you suddenly and held your hand in both of his.

"My love, you can ask of me anything you wish. There is no limit when it comes to you. You've already given me the best gift of becoming my future bride. Anything in my power is yours for the asking, you just name it!" He leaned down and planted a small kiss on the back of your hand. You couldn't help but blush, he never failed to charm you.

"This may sound a little odd, considering what just took place a few minutes ago," you breathed out a sigh, "but...what would you say to refraining from any...intense intimacy?" Lucifer cocked his eyebrow and smirked, seemingly intrigued. "B-but only for this week, I promise! Kissing and cuddling would still be on the table, of course. And no deliberate teasing from me, that wouldn't be fair. I was just thinking that...I want our first night as a married couple to be special. And I figured holding off for the time in between would only heighten the experience. If that's not something you want, I completely understand that-MMPH," you were silenced by Lucifer's soft lips on yours.

"Oh darling, was that all?," he flashed his signature toothy grin at you. "That's hardly a request! I think that's a wonderful idea...n-not that I don't want to ravish you at any given time! But you're right, I couldn't imagine a better honeymoon than getting the chance to feel you again after being denied for a few days, even though it may feel like an eternity. I'll be on my best behavior; you have my word!"

~~~

And Lucifer was on his best behavior, for the most part, at least. There were a few instances where his hands had traveled a little too low on your body and some kisses became deeper than they should have. But both of you managed to make it through the week! But today was the day, and his anxiety was at an all-time high. You decided to sleep in separates rooms the night before, wanting the next time you saw each other to be at the altar. That was the plan, at least.

It had been a while since Lucifer had slept alone. Suffice to say he couldn't sleep. He assured you that he would be alright sleeping alone for just one night, but that ended up being easier said than done. The empty bed he laid in brought back painful memories of his first night without Lilith, something that still haunted him to this day. There would be times where Lucifer would wake up in a cold sweat, only to glance over to see you peacefully asleep, and he could breathe again. Anytime you felt him tug you closer to him in the middle of the night, you knew what had woken him up. He never hid his feelings from you when he confided in you about his ex, and you didn't mind that he would wake you when his nightmares overwhelmed him. You loved him and he loved you. You would never leave. So when you heard your door creek open in the middle of the night to see your fiancé standing ion the door frame, you only smiled and gestured him to you.

~~~

"I-I'm sorry," he sobbed quietly, "I tried...I really did...I-I had a dream, a nightmare, you were there but you started to fade away in front of me. I reached out but it was no use. I woke up and…and you weren’t there, I panicked…I’m so s-sorry…”

"Hey, hey, shh, it's alright," you soothed and brought him into a tight embrace. You felt a tear that had fallen from his face make its way down your collarbone. "Don't cry, Luci, I'm not upset, not at all." You lifted his head up to wipe away his remaining tears. "Let's get some sleep. We have a big day tomorrow." You planted a kiss on his forehead, and from the dim red light that shown through your windows, you could see a small smile appear on his face. He laid down, his back facing you as you wrapped your arms around him and brought him flush to your chest. You could hear his breathing start to even about again.

"I don't deserve you," he murmured.

"You know I think the same thing every day," you respond.

He interlaced his fingers with yours at your words, squeezing you hand softly. "Promise me you'll never think that again. Please. You deserve everything and more."

"Alright," you conceded, kissing the back of his head, "as long as you promise me the same thing. You're my everything, and I'll spend the rest of my afterlife showing you that."

"Okay," he spoke weakly. You intertwined your legs with his, bringing yourself as close to him as possible. "I still intend to keep my other promise. I'll be gone before you wake up."

"You can stay as long as you need to," you whispered before drifting off to sleep once more.

~~~

True to his word, Lucifer had managed to sneak away before you woke. After adorning his typical attire, he found himself wandering the halls of the hotel, finally stopping when he reached the lobby. Thinking he was alone, Lucifer started talking to himself and paced back and forth like a madman.

"Was this a mistake? Are we moving too fast? No, no, no it's alright, it's fine! We're fine! Get a fucking GRIP, Lucifer! You're panicking for nothing! She loves you...right? Yes, yes of course she does! Why would she say yes to you?! Unless...NO! No, none of that! Relax! Need to relax..."

"You know, if you don't quit your pacing back and forth, you're gonna wear out the carpet," Husk remarked, attempting to get Lucifer's attention in his anxious state.

"WHAT THE-" Lucifer shrieked hearing the bartender's voice. After seeing Husk standing behind the bar, he breathed out a sigh of relief and clutched his hand to his rapidly beating heart. "Geez, warn a guy next time!" Husk huffed and returned to cleaning the whiskey glass he held in his hand. "How, uhh, how much of that did you hear?"

"Enough to know that you're a fucking mess right now," the cat demon replied, setting down his now clean glass. "Perhaps you need a bartender to talk to."

"Uhh, alright?" Lucifer made his way over to the bar and took a tentative seat on one of the stools.

"This is about your girl, ain't it?" Husk correctly guessed, "about the wedding?" Lucifer sighed and nodded. "Mhmm. You love this gal, don't you?"

"Yes, of course I do!" Lucifer answered almost defensively. "She's...my everything!"

Husk picked up another dirty glass to clean. "And has she given you any reason to doubt that she feels the same way?"

Lucifer huffed. "Well, I...no, no she hasn't. She's always been there for me. Listening to my ramblings, making me laugh, consoling me during the worst times, like last night...she's...she's just perfect!"

"So what's the holdup?" Husk asked after setting the other glass down.

"It's not as simple as you're making it out to be, Husker," Lucifer retorted, pushing his way back from the bar. "I loved Lilith with all of my heart and soul. And she said...that she loved me too. But then one day, she was just gone. Vanished. We fell together. We built a life here TOGETHER! And she just leaves? It's like the last 10,000 years together meant absolutely NOTHING!" Lucifer ran his hands through his hair, trying to keep his composure. "I-I can't lose her like like I lost Lilith. I just can't! I just want to be enough for her. I don't know what I would do if she...", he couldn't finish his sentence. He sat back down at the bar, resting his head in his arms. "The pain would break me..."

The sound of a glass sliding across the counter top caught Lucifer's attention. When he lifted his head, he noticed a full glass of scotch sitting next to him. "Calms the nerves," Husk spoke. Lucifer let out a deep breath and took a swig, choking slightly in the process not realizing how strong it was.

"Not much of a drinker," Lucifer admitted, setting the glass down.

"Sir, if I may..." Husk began.

"You can call me Lucifer," the angel smiled slightly.

Husk smirked. "Lucifer, all I can tell you that love is a vulnerable emotion. I understand that you're afraid. Afraid that history will repeat itself, that your love is not meant to be, and that you're going to end up alone all over again." Lucifer's face sunk, lowering his head against his arms once more. "But," Husk continued, "I know one thing for sure. That girl up there ain't Lilith."

Lucifer raised his head, now hanging onto every word from the bartender.

"If anybody thinks you aren't enough, that's their own fucking problem. And I can tell you that your girl ain't like that at all. She adores ya, can't get her to shut up about ya! Hell, I couldn't even tell you why she ended up down here in the first place! Another one of Heaven's fuck ups, for sure. But for your sake, I'm glad she did." Husk reached over and gulped down Lucifer's unfinished glass of scotch. "Be a shame if it went to waste."

Lucifer let out the smallest of laughs. "Thank you, Husker. And you're right, even in this God forsaken pit, she manages to make it just a little bit brighter. She saved me. And I'm going to devote every moment of my immortal life to her."

"Good to hear. Now..." Husk slammed his hand down on the counter, "get your shit together and go get ready! You got a wedding to attend."

*** You startled awake with the sound of knocking at your door. Your mind was still foggy, brief memories of last night flooded through your head. "Lucifer?" you sat up and looked around your room, but he was already gone, leaving you alone in an empty bed. He had kept his promise after all. There was another set of knocks at the door. "Coming!" you shouted as you ran to grab the robe you had left on the armchair. You opened the door to see Charlie bouncing giddily.

“Good moooorrrrnnniiiinnnngggggg~” she practically sang. “Did you sleep well? Are you ready for your big day?? Are we forgetting anything???” She rapid fired questions at you while you were still rubbing the crust from your eyes.

“Charlie, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you’re more excited than I am,” you joked, gesturing her to come in. “In order: Yes, I slept…well. Yes, I’m ready...mentally speaking. And no, we’re definitely not forgetting anything. You’re the most meticulous and thoughtful person I know, you definitely have everything planned to a tee! You practically leapt out of your skin when we asked if you would officiate.”

"Aww, thank you!" Charlie smiled as she skipped into your room. "And of course! I would never turn down such an opportunity! Being the princess of Hell does have its perks! You can never be too prepared, ya know? Especially for a day that's so wonderful and magical and full of love!" You saw tears welling up in her eyes out of pure joy.

"Hey now, I thought I was the one that was supposed to be crying today!" you joked.

"Right, right! Sorry!" She wiped the tears from her eyes and grabbed your hands excitedly. "Let's get your hair and make up done!"

Charlie dragged you over to the vanity and sat you down in the chair. You weren't one to wear much makeup typically, but Charlie insisted. And when Charlie asks for something, it's pretty much impossible to tell her no. So you obliged. But you made her promise that she would not go overboard, only the basics. Thankfully you showered the night before, so your hair just needed a good brush through. Charlie grabbed the hairbrush and began to comb through your hair, gently pulling out the knots out of the nasty case of bed head you were sporting. She truly was the kindest soul you've ever met. But that didn't stop you from feeling a little awkward.

"Charlie," you mumbled, "can I-oww...can I ask you something?"

"Yes, absolutely!" She grabbed the the already plugged-in curler and started working on adding some volume to your hair.

"Are...are you sure you're alright with this?" you asked timidly. "I mean...me and your father. I just don't want you to think I'm trying to, you know...replace your mother. I know I don't know much about her or your relationship but..."

Charlie put down the curler and kneeled down next to you, gently grabbing your hand. "You don't need to worry about that! I promise, it's alright with me. It's more than alright, actually! I haven't seen my dad this happy in a long, long time. He loves you so much! You wanna know how I know that? Because he tells me. Every single day. His eyes light up when anybody mentions your name! And I know you would never do anything to hurt him, or me. You're too kind and good hearted for that. I know it may feel like you're inserting yourself into the picture, but I'm more than happy to have you as part of our family! I know the love you have for my dad is genuine, and I wouldn't change a thing!"

A smile formed on your face. "Thank you, Charlie."

"Now," Charlie hopped up from the floor and grabbed the large make up bag sitting on the counter, “time to make magic happen! I have the perfect idea! Close your eyes and no peaking until I say so!”

*** You could feel your heart beating out of your chest as you stood in front of the closed ballroom doors. You knew just on the other side of that door was the love of your life, and he was waiting for you. Husk linked your arm with his, flashing you a warm smile. "You ready?"

You let out a few shaky breaths before you could answer him. "Y-yes."

"Don't worry, I gotcha," he comforted, "one step at a time, alright? Trust me, whatever you're feeling now, he was in much worse shape this morning. Nearly had to kick his ass to the altar myself. But I straightened him out for ya."

You could help but laugh. "Thanks, Husk. And thank you for walking me down. I know this isn't really a traditional wedding, but I appreciate everything you and everyone else have done for us."

"No thanks is necessary," Husk replied, "for what you do for Charlie and the hotel, it's the least I can do. You're a good one to be sure. And the King is damn lucky to have ya." You smiled and tightened your grip on Husk's arm as you heard the faint sound of music start to play on the other side. "It's time."

Without another word, the large wooden doors opened in front of you, and the music could be heard much more clearly now. The Bridal Chorus. Husk waited on your command as you took the first step. You scanned the room. You saw Vaggie and Cherri standing to one side, Angel off to the other, while Niffty skipped in front of you throwing a mix of flower petals and roaches. You noticed Charlie straight ahead of you in a lovely blue suit, a color you've never seen her wear before. You also took notice to the fact there didn't seem to be any organ in the room, despite the music that continued to play as you walked. You guessed it was some of Lucifer's magic. He really knew how to set the scene for the occasion.

Finally, your eyes found Lucifer. He looked at you as if you were the most angelic being he's ever laid his eyes on. You couldn't quite make out the details of his face yet, but you could tell that tears had begun rolling down his face. You saw his suit for the first time. A beautiful black velvet suit with embroidered gold detailing on the jacket. He looked like royalty.

Lucifer stared back at you, fighting every urge in his body to run to you and scoop you up in his arms. Your dress was immaculate. A stunning flowing sleeveless white dress adorned with fluffy scarlet feathers that were scattered across the skirt and completely covered the bodice. An homage to your future husband. You were only a few feet from him now. His smile could have lit the darkest of rooms. The tears continued to flow from his eyes, and you could feel tears threatening to leave yours as well.

"Deep breaths," Husk murmured to you before stepping to the side to join Angel. You inhaled deeply, holding your breath until you stood directly in front of Lucifer, only exhaling when he reached out and held your hands in his.

The music stopped. Your heartbeat was the only thing you could hear now.

Charlie cleared her throat. "Dearly beloved, we're gathered here today to join these two souls before us in holy matrimony. I understand that the couple have written their own vows." Charlie glanced your way and beamed. "Ladies first!" You smiled back at her then turned your full attention to Lucifer, staring lovingly and longingly into his eyes. You had spent the entire week practicing and memorizing your words for this very moment. You breathed in, and you breathed out.

"Lucifer, words cannot begin to describe how you make me feel. You have shown me so much compassion, understanding, care, and adoration that I had never experienced on Earth. My promise to you is that I will always stay by your side, I will never abandon you, and I will love you for the rest of my after life. You've changed my life for the better, and I will make sure that I do the same for you. You are my one true love, forever and always. I love you, my angel."

Lucifer pulled one of his hands away to wipe away the tears the refused to stop flowing. Angel pulled out a handkerchief and brought it over to him and began patting it across his cheeks. You looked at Charlie who had also started to cry. She quickly composed herself and turned towards her father. "D-Dad?" she squeaked out.

Once Lucifer was able to compose himself, he took hold of your hands once more. "My love, I have existed since before the dawn of creation. And in my thousands of years of existence, no one has brought me as much joy as you have. You came into my life suddenly, like a thief in the night, and stole my most precious possession. My heart. It is yours now, for eternity and even beyond. I promise that you will never know another day of sadness, of heartbreak, or of loneliness. My devotion to you is boundless and unfathomable and never ending. I am yours. I love you, my queen."

Razzle appeared in front of the two of you, displaying the silver wedding rings for each of you. You and Lucifer took your respective ring to to place on the other's hand.

"Lucifer," Charlie spoke through her sniffles "will you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife; will you love, honor, and cherish her, hold her up in the good times and the bad, for as long as you both shall live?"

"I do, forever," he answered, sliding the ring onto your finger.

Charlie turned and repeated the question to you.

"Yes, I do," you proclaimed, sliding the ring onto his hand in the same manner.

"By the power vested in me, as princess of Hell, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

You and Lucifer smiled at each other, no longer able to hold back any of your tears. Lucifer cupped your face and brought your lips to his for a tender kiss. You heard the cheers from the others in the room, and you definitely heard Angel whistle as your lips connected. When you pulled apart, something had caught your eye. Your rings were glowing. Magic in the form of golden dust surrounded each of them, swirling around the metal bands.

"What's this?" You asked Lucifer, who didn't seem alarmed at all.

He chuckled. "You're the new Queen of Hell, my darling. This magic is a symbol. It signifies that you are no longer bound by the rules that govern the sinners; you are bound to me. You have free reign to travel anywhere you wish, including the other rings of Hell. You're now one of the most powerful beings in the realm! But we can get into the finer details later; for now," Lucifer pecked your lips once again, "let's celebrate!"

After wiping away her excessive tears, Charlie cleared her throat. "Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to introduce to you for the first time ever, Mr. and Mrs. Morningstar!" The crowd cheered as you walked hand in hand with your husband back down the aisle.

"Who's ready to fucking PARTY?!" Cherri yelled behind you as you all made your way towards the bar in the lobby.

Drinks poured at the reception, everyone was cutting lose and having fun! You two had decided to partake in as many traditional reception activities as you could! Neither of you knew how you ended up with so much cake all over yourselves, but it was alright considering Lucifer easily snapped his fingers and both of you ended up back in pristine condition. You invited everyone to participate in the bouquet toss, but it was Vaggie who ended up with the flowers in the end. She absolutely failed to hide her blush from Charlie who was jumping for joy! But this next tradition was something Lucifer had really been looking forward to; the garter belt toss.

Ever the showman, Lucifer hiked up your dress to your thigh and rather than using his hands, he decided to use his teeth to pull the garment down. His head lingered near your thigh way longer than necessary, and you could Angel snickering as Lucifer dragged it down the length of your leg.

"Oh, you're gonna get it," you leaned down to whisper to him, hoping no one else could hear.

"Is that a threat or a promise?" Lucifer retorted with the garter belt still between his teeth.

To no one's surprise, Angel was the one to catch the belt once Lucifer finally tossed it.

The reception was going off without a hitch. Everyone was having the time of their lives getting plastered and gorging themselves on the enormous buffet Lucifer hand conjured up. You had changed out of your wedding dress into a new purple dress; the lavender one that you really liked that you had tried on a week ago before you got yanked out of the dressing room by a certain horny angel. Thankfully, you two were able to go back to the store the next day to properly purchase it. You and Lucifer were given your own large round table so you wouldn't have to sit at the crowded bar. Luckily for Lucifer, this gave him easy access to you. As the reception went on and with no one being the wiser, Lucifer's hand found your thigh once more, gliding it up ever so slowly before you shot him a knowing glance.

"What do you say we leave early," he proposed innocently, "I have a wonderful surprise for my new bride once we're on our honeymoon."

You playfully grabbed Lucifer's wandering hand and pushed it down towards your knee. "Luci, it's only been an hour! You can't tell me you can't wait just a little longer, can you?"

Lucifer stuck out his lip and pouted sweetly. "Oh, but my love, have you forgotten? It's been an entire week! And you know how well behaved I've been, I am nothing if not a man of my word." You felt his hand begin its ascent on your leg once more. You didn't stop him. "But I can only be a gentleman for so long..."

You didn't want to admit it, but you were in the same boat as well. That week apart had been almost tortuous. But you were more than willing to wait until the party was over. Your husband, however, appeared to have a different idea.

Alright then.

Before his hand could climb any higher, your hand shot down immediately to his crotch. Lucifer bit back a yelp as he felt you palm him through his pants. His hand stopped all motion, but instead started digging into your thigh, ultimately trying to remain calm. But that task seemed nearly impossible with the way your hand continued its ministrations, his pants feeling tighter and tighter with every passing second.

"D-Darling, please..." he begged through his clenched teeth.

You grinned wickedly. "You want me to take care of you, Luci?" He nodded his head vigorously. "We're not leaving early. But, I'll help you out as a good wife should, yeah?" Lucifer panted, his nails now dangerously close to breaking through your skin. "Head to the restroom just down the hall. Give me a minute and I'll follow you. I'll knock three times to let you know it's me. I have a plan. No touching yourself, understand?"

"Y-Yes," he breathed. When he was sure no one was looking, he stood up from his chair as fast as possible before making his way down the hall. Once you saw him disappear around the corner, it was time to give yourself some cover.

"Angel!" you yelled across the room, waving your hands to flag him down. The spider demon turned his head and smiled. He said something inaudible to Cherri before making his way over to you.

"Hey there, pretty lady!" Angel bent over and folded is first pair arms on the table, "Congratulations on the new gig! Being Queen of Hell sure is a status boost!"

"Yeah, I still need time to process that," you admitted. "So Angel, can you umm, do me a favor?"

Angel stood up and slicked his hair back. "Oh, anything for the new member of the royal family! What can I do ya for, doll face?"

You let out a shaky breath. "Can you...how do I say this...cause some sort of distraction?" Angel raised an eyebrow. "I just need to take care of something real quick."

"Uh huh," Angel chuckled, "you need to take care of something? Or someone?~" You pursed your lips, a light blush dashed across your cheeks. You really should have known better than to try and tiptoe around your means of leaving with Angel. "That's what I thought. Don't think I didn't notice the King almost sprint out of here just now. Man is absolutely smitten with ya! But you'll get no judgement from me, baby, I know how it is! Consider this your wedding gift, I typically end up being the most distracting person wherever I go! How much time do you need?"

"Five minutes?"

"Oh honey, I think you're giving him way too much credit, especially considering the state he's in." Angel laughed, "I can give you three."

"Four."

"Deal," Angel stuck a hand out for you to shake. He was ready to turn away when he flashed you a wink. "Get ready!"

As soon as you heard Angel shout loud enough to grab everyone's attention, you got up from the table and followed Lucifer's path down the hall. Once you stood in front of the restroom door, you knocked on it three times just as you said you would. It took less than a second for the door to swing open and for Lucifer to pull you inside. He locked the door behind you and crashed his lips into yours. You pushed him up against the door as you slipped your tongue further into his mouth. He was devouring you as his hands gripped your hips.

"We don't have a lot of time," you said breathlessly, "we have four minutes."

"How did-HHNG," Lucifer wanted to question until you began to palm at his now very apparent erection through his pants again.

"Let's just say I owe Angel big time." You started to fumble with Lucifer's belt, pulling it off of his pants with a quick flick of your arm. Your hands worked at the button and zipper of his pants next, going almost too fast for you to properly hold anything. You gripped the hem of his pants and boxers and were about to pull them down together until Lucifer grabbed your wrists.

"Wait, wait! What about you?" he asked. Even in such a lust filled state, he still only ever thought about you. God, you really hit the jackpot.

You gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "I appreciate it hon, but we really don't have the time to argue about this. Four minutes, remember? Probably closer to three now." You pulled your hands away from Lucifer's grip and went back to the hem of his pants, pulling down his boxers in the process, finally freeing his hardened cock that was already leaking precum. You placed your hands on either side of his hips, his back flush against the door. "You better tell me what you want quickly, Luci."

Lucifer gulped hard, staring at you through half-lidded eyes. "T-touch me...please...n-need you..."

Without another word, you moved to stand at Lucifer's side as your one hand gripped his shaft while the other cupped his mouth to keep him from making too much noise. "Shh, gotta be quiet, my love. You don't want the others to hear how your queen makes you feel." He nodded his head silently as you began to stroke him. You watched as precum dripped onto the floor below; it was obvious how pent up he was. You quickly picked you the pace as your hand moved up and down his cock, thumbing over the tip only for Lucifer to mewl into your hand and buck up into your touch. His breathing became more and more staggered by the second, he wasn't going to last much longer at this rate. But you knew you were running out of time and your hands alone were not going to be enough to finish the job. "Not a sound," you commanded as you released your hand from his mouth, dropping to your knees in an instant. Before Lucifer could protest, your mouth had already full engulfed his length. He threw his own hand over his mouth to muffle his screams as best he could. Your head bobbed up and down rapidly on his cock while stopping every few seconds to lap circles around his tip. He was close.

"F-Fuu-uuccckk," he whimpered, "I-I'm g-mmph...gonna c-cum...shitshitSHIT!" And almost on cue, you felt him empty himself inside you. Strings of hot cum hit that back of your throat while you continued to suck him off, helping him ride out his orgasm. Once he was finished, you let his now softened dick fall from your lips, not letting a single drop leave your mouth. You gracefully stood up and grabbed his belt that you had flung earlier and handed it to him.

"Feel better?" you whispered in his ear, sending a shiver down his spine.

He turned his head to meet your lips once more. He always loved the taste of him on your mouth. "Immeasurably," Lucifer moaned into you.

"And only with a few seconds to spare!" Lucifer buckled his pants once more while you walked over to the sink and began soaking one of the wash cloths in cool water. You dabbed the towel on his forehead, attempting to cool him down. "Can't have you looking so disheveled, my king."

"I promise to make this up to you," Lucifer swore. "You should never be left unsatisfied."

You smiled and kissed him on the forehead sweetly. "My satisfaction is knowing I'm the only one who can pull those beautiful sounds out of you." Lucifer could help but look away from you in embarrassment. "Now, if you promise to behave for the rest of the party, let's just say I have a...proposition for you later tonight. I know exactly how you can pay me back." You unlocked the bathroom door and held it open for him. "Let's not keep our guests waiting!"

~~~

IT'S SO FUCKING LATE RIGHT NOW HOLY GOD I WAS ON A ROLL I DIDN'T WANT TO STOP! I hope you guys are ready for the honeymoon ;)

Taglist: @ask-theradio-demon @kermitdafroggy @thonethatflies620 @luc1fersducky @a-okay-rj @bat-boness @myhornybrainonlyknowsthis @misfitgirlwrites @animationmovieshipps @orbitinglumps @ramenkitten @blaackbiird @bigfatbimbo @lucisaspen @bvnnyangel @seulace9 @fluffypinkpillows @starlightdreaming @k-n0-x @rosen-und-mondlicht @raindropsfromheaven @slutforlucifermorningstar (I'm sorry if I missed anyone!)

#hazbin hotel #lucifer morningstar #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin lucifer #lucifer x reader #lucifer morningstar x reader #lucifer smut #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel smut #my writing #holy hell i just couldn't stop! #i think i beat my word count again haha #5100 WORDS LET'S GOOOO!!

[zhxngii]

⎯⎯ 𒁍 Zhongli the elder Dragon who is calm and composed, never acts out rashly compared to the younger, Neuvillette, who's a little too greedy for his own good. With you being their mate, how can Neuvillette not be a little greedy from time to time? The way you tasted on his tongue was just wonderful to him, he simply just could not get enough of it as you grind yourself on his tongue.

Neuvillette was a noisy one, he was a slight bit embarrassed by his actions as he was clearly so turned on by the situation. That aching tent in his pants as he laps up at your heat, paying extra attention to your sensitive bud...drinking in every little moan and gasp from you. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Zhongli there watching you two with his cock in hand.

Zhongli was indeed enjoying the sight of the both of you, so needy so desperate for pleasure and release, he almost couldn't control himself so that's when he decided to have his turn with you... but Neuv wouldn't give you up that easily would he? With how pent-up he is, he's never really satisfied after such small sessions.

Neuvillette may have not wanted to admit it but when it came to you, he was a bit selfish, wanting you for himself just a bit longer than Zhongli allowed. He immediately apologizes for his behavior to Zhongli, but it wasn't always so easy to get out of a punishment from the elder.

Neuv whines quietly, embarrassment rising in him as he watches you and Zhongli with rosy cheeks. The light vibrations around his cock made him shiver in place as he stayed on his knees with his hands bound behind his back. Oh, how badly he wanted to reach out and touch you just as Zhongli did... his pointy flushed ears perking up at every little noise you made, eyes widening as he watched you climax on Zhongli's tongue once more.

#✯✩´﹒🥛、z's thirsty﹒₊ #I wanted to write about them both... #bc sisterwives server and i couldn't stop thinking about it so i wrote something short #genshin thirst #genshin smut #genshin impact smut #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #zhongli smut #zhongli x reader #neuvillette x reader #neuvillette smut

[wriothesleybear]

Imagine giving your boyfriend, Dr. Ratio a rubber duck that looks like him as a joke. He does make a comment saying it's idiotic, but he actually keeps it in his bathtub. Every time he looks at it while he's bathing, it makes him feel a warmth in his chest because it's a personalized gift you got just for him. You notice it hanging on the side of the tub the next time you bathe with him and tease him for it. "Hm. I guess it wasn't that idiotic of a present since you kept it in one of your most sacred places." He just ignores your teasing and continues reading his book.

The next time you two decided to take a bath together to relax, you notice another rubber duckie next to the one you gifted him and it looks just like you. You make a comment on it and he's nonchalant about it. His reasoning being "It seemed fitting that you should have one as well since we usually bathe together". All you can do is blush, taken by surprise from his words. He notices this and smirks. "What's wrong dear? Too shy to give one of your teasing remark?" All you can do is look away, moving back to lay on his chest. You quietly say, "It's cute." He slightly chuckles, a fond look graces his features. He wraps his arm around you, bringing you closer into him and rests his face into your hair, leaving a faint kiss to the crown of your head.

#idk if this has been done before but I've been taking interest in him lately and couldn't stop thinking about it. #I hope this isn't ooc for him. I'm still trying to get an understanding of what his character is like. #my first time writing for a character who isnt wrio or gallagher o.o #dr. ratio #dr. ratio headcanons #dr. ratio x reader #hsr headcanons #hsr x reader #honkai star rail headcanons #honkai star rail x reader

[bby-deerling]

death's touch (zoro x reader nsfw)

zoro gets himself all jealous and worked up over nothing, smut ensues! afab!reader, same continuity as my other zoro x reader fics, but as always they can be read as standalones (i'll make a masterlist eventually...)

nsfw, 18+, mdni, wc 3.7k

cw for alcohol consumption, tipsy sex

Roronoa Zoro thought he knew what jealousy was.  He had completely dismissed it as an irrelevant emotion, a brief needle prick at his heart when the curly-browed freak mooned over you.  Like a mosquito bite, it was a brief annoyance that was forgotten as quickly as it came.  So why did it bother him so deeply that Traffy was following you around the ship like a stray cat, lurking in your shadows?

He respected Trafalgar Law as a man, a reluctant drinking buddy, and even as a swordsman, but on the way from Dressrosa to Zou, he had gotten far too close with you for his comfort.  For a man that was so often brooding and intense, it was strange to see him opening up and rambling to you about coins, or intensely discussing books the two of you had both read.  He even was disrupting the usual morning rituals you shared; during breakfast when you, as usual, move to quietly snatch a few extra pieces of bacon from his plate, Zoro grabs your wrist and teasingly calls you a gremlin. Before he can drop the façade, cave to the power of your mischievous grin and throw you his scraps, the surgeon had already quietly slid a few pieces of his own onto your plate.

It didn’t help that the two of you had toned down your already limited public displays of affection in an attempt to hide your relationship from Law; after all, he was a temporary ally.  However, as a side effect, Zoro was barely sleeping, restless without you pressed against him.  He had become accustomed to entangling your limbs together and napping out on the deck at least twice a day, and he was missing it like hell.  Only getting to drown himself in the comfort of your skin at nights while the two of you kept watch was beginning to slowly drive him insane.

The rest of the crew thought you were fighting; the rumor had started as an observation from Nami at the abnormal distance you two were keeping over the past few days, followed by Usopp blowing it out of proportion and spreading it around to other members of the crew.  The mere notion offended Zoro.  The two of you were so in tune with each other’s needs that you had never even gotten into so much as an argument.  Rare feelings of irritation that cropped up were fixed with a rough sparring session, voicing your feelings without words and smoothing them over with massages and long, relaxing baths.  You two simply understood each other, as deeply as two people possibly could.  So why was Traffy always staring at you with that glint in his eyes as if he knew exactly what was swirling around in your beautiful mind?

His chest nearly bursts as he stares at you sitting next to him at the bar, the glow of the aquarium casting a soft blue hue on your face.  You speak, but the blood in his head pounds so loud that he doesn’t catch the name of the drink you request from the cook.  He’s about to lean in and tease you about the hangover you’ll inevitably have the next day, the one you get every time the idiot cook serves you these fruity cocktails, but Law beats him to it, rambling in his usual dry monotone about the health effects of sugary alcoholic drinks.  Zoro clenches his jaw in annoyance, even though he knows damn well if you were telling him the exact same information he would’ve been completely engrossed in the conversation.

Sanji whispers something in your ear as he slides your drink across the bar; it’s a cosmopolitan—one of your favorites.  Preferring to drink his sake straight, he only bothers learning the name of cocktails that you like, since he knows he’ll have to figure out how to make them for you some day when the shitty cook isn’t around to wait on you hand and foot.

“For the last time, we’re not fighting, blondie!” he hears you hiss at the cook, drinking about half of your carefully crafted drink in one swig.  No matter how hard you tried, you could never manage to drink slowly, which often led to you throwing up until your entire body was left shaking.  He catches himself wondering if Traffy would still be enamored with you if he had to deal with you puking over the side of the boat.  Would the surgeon find your futile endeavors to match the pace of someone twice your size endearing in the same way that he did?  Given Law’s usual intolerance for goofy antics and drunken shenanigans, probably not.

Zoro’s train of thought is broken when you swing around on your bar stool to face him, slotting your legs in between his, then spreading them slightly to make sure your thighs were pressed together.  If you were both sober, he would’ve had the willpower to only allow the touch to go on for a few moments before pulling away, but his current haze of liquor and envy made him feel like he had something to prove.  A lovestruck smile was plastered across your face, staring up dreamily at him.  Heart on your sleeve, he appreciated that your emotions were always unabashedly raw, open, and on display; it saved him a lot of guesswork and allowed you to talk without speaking in your own secret, silent language. 

It also fed his ego tremendously that just the thought of him had you so worked up that it was shamelessly written all over your face.

“Tipsy yet, lil’ demon?” he murmurs lowly to you, already knowing the answer.  The right amount of alcohol in your system always turned you into a tease.

“Mhm!” you hum; satisfaction blooms in his chest when your face flushes bright red at the sound of his voice.  Mischief laces your eyes as you ask, “Got any sake for me tonight?”

Zoro knew the game you were playing very well, but he couldn’t help but fall for it every time.  Small whispers laced with innuendo and tiny, teasing little touches that appeared innocent on the surface slowly escalated until one of you couldn’t help yourselves anymore; he had a feeling he was going to be the one to give in first tonight despite the risk involved.

“Not yet.” he teased, sliding your drink closer to you.  “Finish this one first and maybe I’ll think about giving it to you.”  Your wanting gaze never breaks from his steel grey eye, completely transfixed on his cocky grin; your thighs press even closer to his, amusing yourself at the way the swordsman was already unraveling with such a subtle touch.  Zoro��s hand starts to move, intending to discretely trace his fingers across your thigh. Uncharacteristically he found himself not caring who saw, and perhaps hoping that a certain surgeon was staring.

Then, all of a sudden, you’re gone, whisked away to dance with Nami as Brook belts out one of the navigator’s favorite songs.  Even with the liquor in your system you have two left feet, but Nami is also too tipsy to judge and simply takes the lead instead.  Zoro scowls as the navigator sticks her tongue out and winks at him as she spins you around and pulls you close; he had a feeling she intended to make him suffer tonight for his "wrongdoings" in the completely fictional fight that her and Usopp had concocted in their own minds.

At some point, to your delight, Luffy cuts in, grabbing you and swinging you around.  Neither of you are moving in a way that truly qualifies as dancing as per usual; it’s more holding hands and slinging each other across the room with his rubbery arms than anything else.  You’re grinning from ear to ear and laughing so hard your sides ache until Luffy slings you a bit too far and accidentally lets go of your hands, hurtling you towards the aquarium tank. Robin spawns a huge hand behind the bar to catch you; however, the collision never comes.

“Room.”

“Shambles.”

A paper napkin gently flutters in the air on its way to the floor, and you’re in Law’s lap, dizzy at the sudden change in acceleration and direction.  As soon as you snap out of your disoriented state and realize where you are, you slip off of his thighs and to your feet, but when you try to walk away, you feel a hand at your waist, presumably to stabilize you.

“Be more careful, ____-ya.” he rumbles in your ear as his precise, tattooed fingers teasingly tap the bare skin of your side underneath your cropped shirt, one by one.  He does it so smoothly that Zoro wonders if you even registered it.

One, two, three, four, five.  Five inked fingers trying to mark his woman, overflowing with light and warmth, with the sick touch of death.   Five fingers dig into Zoro’s bottle of sake, one by one, poking holes in the bottle; he sighs and sloppily chugs the rest of the spirits flowing out from the broken bottle as Luffy, Usopp and Franky cheer.  He doesn’t dare look up at Sanji as he slams the empty bottle on the table—the last thing he needs to see right now is that twirly-browed cook giving him a shit-eating grin, or worse, having to hear his whiny voice taunt him.

Instead, his glance ends up meeting Nami’s, something he immediately regrets upon seeing the absolutely evil look on her face as she approaches.

“Apple pie shots!” she demands.  Zoro sighs in relief.  That didn’t sound too bad.  She calls you over, insisting her shot was first.  She leans her head back against the bar, mouth open as you and Zoro take turns pouring pieces of the recipe in.  Vanilla vodka, apple cider, a smidge of cinnamon, finished off with a squirt of whipped cream and swished together in her mouth.  Her thumb runs across her lips, and she slurps up the excess whipped cream with a pop, nearly killing Sanji from blood loss in the process as she trades places with you.

Zoro can barely focus as he helps Nami pour the same concoction into your mouth.  One of his hands gently strokes the side of your face, brushing stray strands of hair away from your mouth as a feeble excuse to touch you.  He had planned it all out in his head, strategically placing his fingers so he could catch the spare whipped cream from your lips on his thumb, but Nami somehow beats him to it.

“You witch!” he hissed under his breath.

“Better luck next time, Zoro!” she teases.  “Maybe if you apologize to her about whatever you’re fighting about, I’ll let you get away with it next time.”

“We’re not fighting!” Zoro exclaims, frustrated.  He glances over at you, lost in your own world, head still on the table and buzzing with the pleasant rush of alcohol, a dopey smile on your face.

“Yeah right!  You’ve both been acting weird since we got back on the ship.  And I just know it’s your fault!” Nami replies, pointing at the swordsman, making him roll his eyes.

Her hands wave in front of your face to get your attention, and you sit up with a smile.  “Want another?” she asks.  “I bet I can get Law to pour for you if you want!”

Blood floods into the swordsman's ears as his head begins to pound, senses clouded; he entirely misses the longing stare you give him as Nami rambles on about something else that was probably meant to piss him off. Zoro nearly loses his temper.  He wants to tell Nami to quit screwing around and interfering with something that’s none of her business, tell the insufferable idiot cook to stop giving him that smarmy look he keeps catching in his peripheral vision, and tell Trafalgar Law to keep his damn hands off his woman. 

Before he can do anything but clench his jaw in frustration, your eyes widen before clamping your hand over your mouth and dashing out of the aquarium bar, headed up towards the deck—Luffy swinging you around like a makeshift amusement park ride probably didn’t do wonders to stabilize your stomach. He’s about to run after you, switch flipped in his brain as he prepares to spend the night taking care of you. However, he is stopped dead in his tracks by the navigator and the cook laughing hysterically.

“What’s so damn funny?” he asks, eye narrowed.

“I think that’s the worst excuse to sneak away that you guys have come up with yet.” Nami giggles, motioning to the empty space on the bar, puzzling the swordsman, staring blankly at the tabletop.

“Earth to idiot moss-head,” the cook says, waving his hands in front of the swordsman’s face, “she took the whipped cream with her.”

He knew you like the back of his hand and as a result, you rarely surprised him; however, he hadn't expected you to break first tonight, especially from such a small amount teasing.

Zoro’s out the door before he can catch a lecture from Sanji about wasting food.

As if.  He’s never been more hungry in his life.

He’s fast, but you’re faster, slipping into the girls’ quarters, out of your clothes, and into your most revealing nightgown before he can catch up to you.

“Need you.” you whisper when he slams the door shut, locks it, and stalks towards you.  “Need you so bad Zoro.”

“Need you too…” he murmurs as he backs you into the dresser, pressing his knee between your thighs and biting down on your neck.  His tongue gently soothes the skin marked by his teeth, and he smirks when he hears you gasp.

Pulling back slightly, knee still firmly pressed between your legs, he gently taps your jaw with his fingertips and grabs the can of whipped cream.  “Open up, pretty girl.” he whispers as you comply.  He squirts some in your mouth, and you make a show of leaving more than usual on your lips. 

“Messy girl… Can’t have you wasting food…” he teases as he licks the corner of your mouth.

Zoro tries so hard to not lose himself in the ecstasy of your lips and maintain his slow, teasing pace as he licks up every last bit of the sugary cream from around your mouth, but he just can’t help it when your slender fingers rake through his hair and pull him into you, tongues frantically mixing together.  One of his hands caresses your face as he deepens the kiss, and the other trails up your thigh underneath your nightgown.  You whine against his mouth as his hand nears, and then slips past where you need it most, rubbing circles into your hip bones with his thumb.  His hand wanders further upward, gripping your waist.  He presses his fingertips into your skin over and over again, trying frantically to scrub away the surgeon’s touch.  You realize what he’s doing, and gently run your thumb across his jaw, prompting him to pull back and look into your eyes that were brimming with concern.

“I’ve had enough of the grim reaper hovering around you.” he rasps out. 

He curses the fact that he knows his eye is giving his bleeding heart away; however, he knows his feelings would eventually present themselves to you in some other way.  They always did, and you always received them with the dignity, care, and respect they deserved.  He protected the crew with his body, but you were the only one who could be trusted to protect his heart and soul.

The next few exchanges you share are nonverbal.

Your hand falls to his shoulder, tracing soothing lines across his collarbone, still locking eyes with him.  “Zoro, it’s not like that.”

His thumb gently strokes your cheek, gaze hardening.  “I know.  He still crossed a line.”

The light in your eyes dims slightly, eyebrows beginning to knit with worry.  “I’m s—”

His lips slam against yours, intending to stop your train of thought in its tracks.  “Don’t you dare apologize. Not when you’ve done nothing wrong.  Not when you’re being so good for me.”

His grip on your waist gets stronger, still trying to wipe away Law’s touch as you both become consumed by each other.  Mind fuzzy with the blend of alcohol and pleasure, Zoro feels absolutely drunk when he drops his hand downward and feels the pool of arousal already coating your thighs.  Your moan vibrates against his mouth as he traces his index finger along your slit, causing you to buck your hips against him; for a demon, he feels awfully close to heaven as he turns you into a mess with his touch.

“Pretty girl… getting so wet for me…” he mumbled against your lips as he lifts your lower half off the ground; wrapping your legs around him tightly, he carries you to your bed. 

Mouths still locked in an intense kiss, his hand goes back to teasing your core, fingers tracing the outline of your hole but pulling back before they can sink in.  Lewd, muffled moans and pleas for him to bury his fingers inside of you rolled off your tongue, still tasting of whipped cream, booze, and a hint of cinnamon.  Finally, he gives in and sinks a finger inside of you, making you gasp out.  He’s painfully slow with his movements, and when he adds another finger and starts curling them upward, you’re a complete mess.

His thumb starts circling your clit, staying right where it should despite the way your hips shudder against his touch, desperate for more friction.

“The ink on his fingers is pretty, but there’s no way he could get you to fall apart like this, is there?” he whispers in your ear.  A string of lewd, unintelligible sounds falls off your lips in response; he smirks knowing he’s got you close.

“Let go, pretty girl… cum for me…” he says in your ear, and smirks as the movement in your hips becomes erratic.

“That’s my girl…” he murmurs as your blood rushes to your cheeks, orgasm crashing like a wave across your body.

The moan you let out as he pulls his fingers out of you and replaces them with his cock nearly causes him to immediately spill into you, but he collects his composure, thumb continuing to circle your clit slowly and gently.  You’re still twitching around him after coming so hard, but he’s determined to push you off the cliff again as he thrusts slowly and deeply inside you. 

Pulling back from your lips to get a good look at your face, you have that dreamy look in your eyes again, and he knows he can’t hide it when he involuntarily mirrors your expression back at you.

“You’re mine, y’know that?” you smile, hand stroking his cheek reverently. 

Zoro’s hand mirrors your action, in awe of the way you always seemed to be able to tame him, even when he thought he had control.  “’Course I do.” he whispers back. 

When he resumes his pace, the kisses he presses against your eager mouth and the teasing of your clit becomes more urgent, craving to feel you get off around his cock.  Noticing you’re getting close, he flips you over onto your stomach, desperate to bury himself even deeper inside of you.

His breath is hot on your ear, and your strangled gasps are hot and humid as your face presses into your pillow.  His pace picks up, both with his thrusts and his motions on your clit, nearly sending you over the edge.

“Who’s the only one that can fuck you like this?” he asks, his deep voice sending tingles through your whole body.

“You, Zoro…” you reply, words muffled by your pillow.

“Didn’t catch that,” he says, slowing down and causing you to whine and grind your hips against his hand, “say it again, babe.”

“Roronoa Zoro!” you cry out, making him groan and resume his former pace that had you so close.

“And what’s your name gonna be someday, pretty girl?” he asks, thrusts getting impossibly deeper as he starts to lose control.

“Roronoa ____…” you reply, voice nearly cracking from trying to hold back a moan.

“Damn right,” he rasps, “cause you’re my fucking girl.”  The pressure of his fingers against your clit deepens, finally letting you come as your walls flutter around him.  He’s not far behind, hips snapping frantically against yours as he paints your insides white.

“Love you.” he murmurs in your ear, collapsed on top of you with his cock still twitching inside you.  “Love you so much.”

“Love you more.” you reply with a soft smile, twisting your head so you can plant a kiss on his cheek.  “Love you more than anything.”

And you almost fall asleep like that, completely vulnerable with your souls intertwined in your cracked open ribs, until you feel a hand grab your ankle, making you shriek.

Zoro groans and quickly helps you clean up as you both dress, you putting on your nightgown, adding a much more modest robe on top, and him pulling his sweatpants back up, not bothering to put on a shirt.  The disembodied hand demands a response from you: thumbs-up or thumbs down.  You tilt its thumb up, and Robin unlocks the door and grabs a sweater from her dresser, stepping around your discarded clothes.

“I see you two have made up…” she says, smirking.

“We weren’t fighting!” you both protest simultaneously, causing the archaeologist to chuckle.

“Are you sure?  Usopp was spinning quite the tale downstairs…” she continues; trying to weasel more information out of you.

“We were just trying to be discreet in front of our company.” you mumble.

Robin chuckles, hand covering her mouth, “Cat’s out of the bag now.  I’ll ask Franky to fix the creak in your bed.”  Both of your faces turn bright red as she leaves, mortified and embarrassed like you always were on the rare occasions you were caught in the act.  While the crew all knew of your attachment to each other, you both preferred for anything more intimate than a kiss on the forehead to remain private when possible.

Alone once more, Zoro spins you around to face him, and places his forehead against yours as he holds you.  The serene smile on your face is filled with love and peace, and he succumbs to the overwhelming urge to ignore your crewmates for the rest of the night, pull you close and keep you in his arms as long as possible. 

The pangs of jealousy that had wormed their way into his skin earlier were long forgotten, rolling off him like one of the cook’s stupid insults.  In fact, he caught himself feeling glad that Traffy had made a friend, despite his constant dismissal of most of the crew save for Robin.  Especially a friend as loyal and understanding as you.  Maybe you could even convince him to quit being so damn miserable and lighten up for once.

He almost laughs at the thought as he runs his fingers through your hair and presses aimless kisses along your jawline.  That’s a tall order, even for a ball of sunshine like you.

#one piece x reader #x reader #zoro x reader #zoro x you #roronoa zoro x reader #one piece smut #mdni #18+ mdni #this was supposed to be short and sweet... then i couldn't stop writing... #zoros being kinda melodramatic here but blame it on the alcohol #obsessed with soft zoro sorry not sorry

[steveseddie]

shootin’ hoops

steddie | rated: t | cw: none | 4,6k | tags: eddie munson lives, but his clumsy ass gets hurt, worried steve, minor injuries, sharing clothes, first kiss

for my stficbingo prompt: “‘m just tired.”

click here to read on ao3

***

Eddie has always known basketball is evil. 

Over the years, he’s been smacked in the back of the head by plenty of basketballs, or smacked elsewhere by the dumb jocks that play the game. Only a few weeks ago, he was being chased by Jason Carver and his band of basketball-playing goons. 

So, basketball. Evil.

Eddie knew this, and somehow, he still agreed to “shoot hoops” with Steve Harrington.

Him! Eddie Munson! Agreeing to play the stupid game where you toss balls into laundry baskets! All because of his stupid crush on a boy.

If any of his friends could see him now, they would kick him out of the band and dethrone him as their Hellfire leader. 

Well, no. First, they would laugh at Eddie- currently starfished on the Harringtons’ basketball court having knocking himself out after the ball he threw missed the hoop completely, slammed against the board and bounced back straight into Eddie’s face.

Then and only then, after laughing themselves into a coughing fit at Eddie’s expense, would they kick him out and dethrone him. Can’t have your fearless leader succumbing to forced conformity or whatever. 

Luckily for Eddie, there’s no one here to witness how the mighty have fallen. 

Well. No one but Steve, the guy he’s pretty sure he’s in love with which is fucking great.

When he agreed to play, after Steve pleaded, pouted and hit Eddie with those deadly puppy eyes, he told himself it wouldn’t be so bad. He’d get to ogle Steve in his tiny little shorts, trick Steve into putting his hands on him to show him the right way to throw a ball and maybe even score a goal and shit and get a proud grin from Steve, maybe even a high five or a hug. 

But all Eddie has managed so far is to sweat through his clothes (Steve’s clothes actually- a pair of basketball shorts and an old Hawkins High swim meet shirt because the long sleeve and the ripped jeans Eddie showed up in weren’t basketball appropriate) and embarrass himself by getting hit square in the face by an evil basketball, probably giving himself a concussion in the process. 

Because- fucking ouch! His head is pounding right now.

Through the ringing in his ears, he hears Steve’s sneakers squeak against the court as he jogs towards him. “Eddie, Jesus Christ!” He gasps, dropping to his knees next to him. “Fuck, man, are you okay?” 

Eddie groans when he hears the concern in Steve’s voice. Fuck, this is so embarrassing. Eddie knows he’s flushing bright red and it’s not because of the midday sun beating down on them. 

“Eddie, come on. Talk to me, man,” Steve urges, slightly shaking Eddie’s shoulder.

“Just leave me here to die,” Eddie mumbles, keeping his eyes tightly shut, partly because moving his face hurts, but also because he doesn’t want to look at Steve right now. 

Steve huffs, shaking Eddie’s shoulder a little more insistently. “Nope, no way. I didn’t drag your ass back from the Upside Down to let you die here. Sit up, come on.” 

He tugs on Eddie’s arm, leaving him no choice but to sit up. Eddie hugs his knees against his chest, still not opening his eyes. He feels one of Steve’s hands settle on his back, holding him up in that position. 

“Good, that’s good,” Steve encourages, rubbing his hand up and down Eddie’s back. Because of that touch, Eddie can feel the flush spreading all the way up to his ears. He squeezes his eyes even tighter, even if it makes his face hurt, but Steve isn’t having it. “Now open your eyes for me.”

Eddie shakes his head, which is a terrible idea because it sends flashes of pain through his head, all the way down to his neck. 

“Come on, Eds, let me look at you,” Steve purrs in a sweet voice that settles deep in Eddie’s lower stomach. Then Steve’s other hand cups his cheek, gently turning his face towards him. “Please,” he says, stroking his thumb over Eddie’s cheek.

And if there’s one thing that today proved is that Eddie can’t say no to a pleading Steve. It’s what got him in this mess in the first place. 

So his eyes flutter open. He has to blink a few times to get rid of the blurriness at the edges of his vision but even then it’s hard to miss Steve’s big, worried eyes when they’re right in front of him. 

“There he is,” Steve exhales softly, the corner of his mouth lifting in a relieved half-smile. “Hi.” 

“H-hey,” Eddie stammers out. His cheeks burn even brighter when he realizes how close their faces are. Steve’s hand rubbing Eddie’s back soothingly while the other one is still cupping his jaw certainly don’t help. 

“Are you okay?” 

Eddie scoffs. “Oh, I’m great! Just wishing the Upside Down would open up and swallow me whole so I can like, die of embarrassment there,” he says, voice dripping with sarcasm. Steve makes an exasperated noise, either because he didn’t get a real answer to his question or because it’s too soon for Eddie to be joking about dying in the Upside Down. Eddie sighs, waving a hand through the air dismissively. “I’m fine, man, just hurt.” 

“Where does it hurt?” 

“My dignity.”

This time the joke does land and it makes Steve snicker. “Since when do you have any?” 

“Ouch. Kicking a man while he’s down, Harrington? Shame on you,” Eddie says with a laugh, which is quickly followed by a wince. “Shit, okay, maybe my dignity isn’t the only thing hurting. My whole head is fucking pounding, I think I hit it against the ground after the ball knocked me down.” 

Steve’s face pulls into a frown and the hand that was on Eddie’s back moves to the back of his head. “You’re not bleeding, thank God, but you could still have a concussion.”

“Of fucking course,” Eddie mutters, resting his head on his knees.

“We can get you something cold or I can drive you to the ER if you’d rather get checked out.”

Eddie starts to shake his head and gets dizzy so he aborts the movement, raising his hand to wave Steve off instead. “No, no ER. Some frozen peas will do the trick, good sir.”

Steve’s lips press into a thin line. “Okay, but if you start talking nonsense, I’m taking you there. I don’t care if you don’t want me to or not.”

Eddie gives him a lazy smirk. “How will you know I’m talking nonsense because of the concussion and not because I’m, you know, me.” 

“I know your kind of nonsense, Munson,” he says with a snort. The words sound almost fond to Eddie’s ears. “Now, let’s get you inside. I’m gonna help you up. Slowly, okay? You might feel dizzy or even like you’re going to throw up so- careful.”

Eddie squints at Steve. “You sure know a shitload about concussions, Harrington.” 

Steve makes a face. “That’s because I’ve had like, three. And surprisingly enough only one of them was Upside Down related.”

“Damn, dude.”

“Yeah, but at least you know I’ll take good care of you.” Steve shrugs. “Okay, come on.”

He stands up in one swift movement and offers both of his hands to Eddie, who grabs them and lets himself be pulled to his feet. As soon as he stands, his vision goes black and he sways forward. He would’ve face-planted if Steve didn’t catch him by his elbows.

“Woah, I got you,” he tells him, breath ghosting over Eddie’s face.

“Just need a minute,” Eddie mumbles, squeezing his eyes, waiting for the world to stop spinning. 

“Take your time,” Steve says, rubbing his thumbs over Eddie’s forearms, which only makes him feel more dizzy. 

When he opens his eyes, Steve’s face is right there again and he gets lost in his hazel eyes for a few more seconds before he feels ready to move. “Okay, I’m good.”

Steve nods, letting go of his arms but staying close to Eddie as he starts walking towards the house, just in case. They walk past the evil basketball and Eddie glares at it. He thinks about kicking it, just to give it a taste of its own medicine, but knowing his luck, the ball would probably bounce against the wall and hit Eddie again, so he just ignores it. 

In the kitchen, Steve heads for the freezer while Eddie flops down on a chair and folds his arms over the table, letting his head rest over them.

He jumps when he suddenly feels something cold press against the back of his head. “Motherfucker!” When he looks up, Steve is giving him a sheepish smile and holding a bag of frozen peas in his hand. “Dick,” Eddie says, snatching the peas from his hand and pressing them against the back of his head. He still flinches, but at least he’s prepared this time. 

“Is that better?” 

Eddie makes a noncommittal sound. The cold helps with the throbbing, but his head still feels like it was put through the wringer.

“Do you think you’ll be okay if I take a quick shower?” Steve asks. Eddie glances at him, who’s eyeing him back warily and biting his lip, probably worried about leaving him unsupervised. 

“I think I’ll live, man,” Eddie says with a snort.  

“Okay. I’ll be right back.” He stands up to leave but hesitates. “Call if you need anything.” 

Eddie can’t help it, he smirks up at him. “You’re gonna come to my rescue dripping wet and wearing nothing but a towel? I might call you just to see that.” 

Steve’s cheeks flare the brightest Eddie’s ever seen. “Never mind, you can die,” he says with no heat at all before turning around and leaving Eddie alone in the kitchen. 

This time when Eddie laughs it doesn’t make his head hurt nearly as much, which means that the frozen peas might be helping. He presses the bag against his face next, trying to dull the throbbing there as well. He sits there at the kitchen table, moving the frozen peas back and forth from his face to the back of his head until he starts getting tired and his eyelids start feeling a little heavy. 

He drops his head on his arms again and instantly starts to doze off. Eddie knows he shouldn’t, not if he has a concussion, but he’s tired, and taking a nap right now sounds so good-

But just as he’s about to, Steve’s voice drags him away from the brink of sleep. “Eddie, hey, Eds.” 

Eddie burrows further into his arms, trying to ignore Steve who shakes his shoulder a little frantically. “Eddie?” 

“I’m fine,” Eddie mutters, twisting his head to the side, towards Steve, but keeping his eyes closed. “‘m just tired. Want to take a nap.”

“Uh, yeah, no. No sleeping while concussed,” Steve says in that bitchy tone of his. “Eds, come on.” When Eddie doesn’t respond, Steve nearly growls. “Eddie Munson, I will drag your ass to the ER if you don’t open your eyes right now.” 

“Fuck, you’re bossy,” Eddie huffs, but he opens his eyes, giving Steve a look that’s supposed to say happy?

Steve’s lips press into a thin line. “Well, sorry for not wanting you to die on me again.”

It’s probably not Steve’s intention, but Eddie immediately feels bad. He might not remember a lot of what happened after the hell bats attacked him, but he knows that at some point his heart stopped beating from all the blood he lost and Steve had to perform CPR on him to bring him back. And unlike Eddie, he probably remembers everything about it. It’s not fair that Eddie is making him relive that kind of worry right now. 

So he forces his head up, blinking his eyes a few times so they adjust and apologizes. “Sorry.”

Steve’s face softens almost immediately and he waves Eddie off with a shake of his head. Droplets of water hit Eddie’s face and he notices that Steve’s hair is wet, water steadily dripping to the floor from the few strands that hang over his eyes. Eddie has seen Steve after a shower before but he always dries and styles his hair before coming out of the bathroom which means he skipped his hair routine today, probably so he wouldn’t have to leave Eddie alone longer than necessary. 

“How’s the head?” Steve asks, brushing his hair back with a hand. 

“Hurts but the peas are helping. Or they were. I don’t know where they are now.” Eddie frowns when he realizes he can no longer feel them against the back of his head, they must have fallen to the floor when he started to doze off. Oh well. “How was the shower?” 

Steve snorts. “Quick,” he says. “Do you wanna take one?” 

Eddie wrinkles his nose. “I want to but there’s a big chance that I will fall in the shower and crack my head open if I do.” 

He almost wants to risk it just to get rid of some of the sweat, but then he thinks about falling in the shower and Steve barging in to help him while he’s naked on the floor and quickly changes his mind. There’s only so much embarrassment he can take in a day. 

Steve nods in understanding. “Maybe later then.” He jerks his head toward the door that leads to the living room. “Do you want to move to the couch? Just because you can’t take a nap doesn’t mean you can’t be comfortable.” 

“Sure, man.” 

When Steve stands up, Eddie’s eyes end up at the same level as his shirt. Which, thanks to the familiar Black Sabbath logo, Eddie realizes is actually his.

“Is that my shirt?” Eddie asks even if he knows the answer. Steve would never own a Black Sabbath shirt, not to mention Eddie remembers turning his room upside down looking for his the other day only to give up when he couldn’t find it- because it was at Steve’s house apparently. 

Steve looks down at himself and his eyes widen like he’s only realizing now that he’s wearing it. 

“Oh, um, yeah, you left it here the other day. I washed it and left it in my closet to like, give it back to you, but I guess I accidentally grabbed it just now,” Steve explains, running his hand through his hair a few times. 

“Yeah, okay,” Eddie says, big eyes staring up at Steve in his goddamned shirt. 

“Do you- do you want it back?” 

Eddie shakes his head. “Nah, man. It looks better on you.” And it’s true- Steve looks good in Eddie’s clothes. “Besides, it’s only fair,” he adds, gesturing down at himself, still wearing Steve’s swim meet shirt and old basketball shorts. 

Steve chuckles, ducking his head and saying a little shyly, “Well, those look good on you too.” 

Eddie twirls some hair around his finger and tugs it in front of his face to hide his blush. He’s ridiculously bad at accepting compliments, especially when they come from Steve.“

“Okay,” Steve says, remembering why he stood up in the first place. “Come on, to the couch.” 

Standing up doesn’t make Eddie as dizzy this time and he manages to stay on his feet without Steve’s help. Slowly, he drags his feet to the living room and then flops down on the couch, tilting sideways until his head comes in contact with the cushions. 

“No sleeping,” Steve grumbles when he sees Eddie’s eyes start to slip shut. 

“I’m not!” Eddie says, his eyes flying open and finding Steve raising an eyebrow at him. “Okay, maybe I am, but you gotta help me stay awake, man. Put on a movie or something.” 

With a frown, Steve says, “I don’t think you should be staring at screens or any bright lights right now.” Then he perks up. “Wait, I have an idea!” 

And then, without explaining any further, he leaves. 

In his absence, Eddie sighs and burrows his head deeper into the cushions, but before he can even think of taking a nap, Steve comes back. 

“I think I might be having like a concussion-induced hallucination because there’s no way that you, Steve Harrington, actually own a copy of The Fellowship of the Ring,” Eddie says when he sees the worn paperback that Steve is holding in his hand. 

Steve glances down at it. “It’s actually Dustin’s, man. Kid gave it to me forever ago, but I never read it. It’s not really my thing, but it’s yours.”

“It most definitely is, Stevie boy,” Eddie says, “but I don’t think reading will help my head any more than staring into a screen.”

“You won’t be reading, Eds. I’ll read to you,” Steve says with a shrug. “Now, lift your head.” 

Eddie pushes himself from his lying down position so Steve can sit next to him, but before he can sit upright, Steve tsks and pushes his head back down so it’s resting on his lap, the right side of his face coming in contact with the fabric of Steve’s sweatpants. 

Eddie is too stunned to protest or move, but he does subtly pinch himself, a little suspicious that he might’ve slipped into some kind of concussion dream.

With one of his hands, Steve holds the book open and the other finds its way to Eddie’s hair. He’d tied it up in a bun when they started playing, but it’s mostly undone by now. Steve carefully tugs on his hair tie, freeing the rest, so he can run his fingers through the curls.

It sends shivers down Eddie’s spine, makes him feel like he’s going to melt through the couch and into a puddle on the floor. He can’t stop the whiny noise that slips through his lips. 

Steve’s hand freezes. “Did I hurt you?

Embarrassed, Eddie just shakes his head no.

“So this is okay?” Steve asks, scratching his scalp. Eddie just nods, afraid that if he opens his mouth some other embarrassing noise will slip out.

Eddie can hear the smile in his voice when he says, “Good.”

After that, Steve clears his throat and starts reading. 

Eddie quickly realizes that Steve didn’t think his plan through- he heavily underestimated how soothing his voice is, how comfortable his thigh is and how good his hand feels in Eddie’s hair. 

Within minutes, Eddie feels himself starting to doze off again, but before he can, Steve jostles his thigh, the movement waking Eddie up.

“Hey, talk to me so I know you didn’t die.”

Eddie groans, pinching Steve’s leg. “I hate you.”

Steve chuckles softly. “That’ll do.” 

After that Eddie starts to focus on the words that Steve is reading and it makes it a little easier to stay awake, mostly because he can’t help but correct Steve when he starts butchering the names of the characters and locations in ways that Eddie can’t begin to comprehend. It’s not until a snigger slips past Steve’s lips when Eddie tells him that it’s “Bilbo, Steve! Not Bobbin!” that Eddie realizes he must be doing it on purpose so that Eddie will talk to him. 

After a while, Eddie stops feeling sleepy and his head stops hurting as much so, instead of just correcting Steve’s pronunciation, he offers commentary about the book here and there and quotes the book as Steve reads it, which earns him a fond nerd and a playful tug on his hair.

After a few chapters, Steve complains about his voice getting tired, but Eddie isn’t having it, he wants to listen to Steve read some more. 

“You owe me, man,” Eddie says.

Steve snorts. “Me? I’m nursing you back to health, why do I owe you?” 

“Because you made me play with you!”

Eddie can hear Steve’s eye roll. “I didn’t, you could’ve easily said no, Eddie.”

It’s Eddie’s turn to snort because the idea of him saying no to Steve is completely ridiculous. Before he realizes what he’s doing, he blurts out, “Nothing easy about saying no to the guy you have a crush on.” 

Silence falls over them. Steve drops the book on the couch. His other hand freezes in Eddie’s hair. 

“What?” He asks, his voice barely above a whisper.

Eddie realizes what he just said and his whole body goes rigid. Oh shit, oh fuck.

“Nothing,” he says meekly. 

“No, you said-”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“Yes, you did, Eddie,” Steve says, annoyed. Annoyed at him. Eddie bites down on a whimper- this is his worst nightmare, the thing that stopped him in his tracks every time he so much as considered telling Steve how he felt. Suddenly, he can’t keep his head on Steve’s thigh, he can’t bear to have his fingers in his hair. Eddie sits up abruptly, his vision swims, he feels sick. 

“I, I have a concussion, I don’t know what I’m saying,” Eddie mutters, sitting on the far end of the couch, away from Steve.

“Eddie-”

“Steve, please just- Ignore it, please,” Eddie pleads, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, his hands coming up to cover his face. 

“I can’t ignore it-”

Of course he can’t. Your friend having a crush on you isn’t something you can just ignore. God, Eddie really fucked up. 

“Fuck.” He squeezes his palms against his eyes until they hurt. 

The couch dips as Steve moves- is he leaving? Eddie’s heart falls as he wonders, but a moment later, Steve is sitting right next to him, their thighs touching and their arms brushing.

“Eddie, I don’t want to ignore it,” Steve says, and his voice is unbearably soft. He doesn’t sound annoyed anymore, maybe he wasn’t annoyed at all, maybe there’s some truth to what people say about Eddie being dramatic.

“Why?” Eddie asks warily, but God help him, also slightly hopeful. 

Steve scoots even closer, bumping their shoulders together. “The guy I’ve liked for weeks just said he has a crush on me, why would I want to ignore that?”

The words have Eddie whipping his head back to stare at Steve so fast that he goes dizzy. His face pulls into a grimace. “Shit.” 

“You okay?”

Eddie waves him off. “Did you just say you like me? Because if you didn’t, maybe I do need to go to the ER because I’m hearing things,” he says, his wide eyes blinking at Steve.

He gives Eddie a sweet smile. “I did say that. I do like you.”

His eyes go even wider. “Holy shit.”

“Do you like me?” Steve asks, a little shy. “Or was that just the concussion talking?”

A nearly hysterical laugh tumbles over Eddie’s lips. “No, nope, definitely me. Maybe the concussion made me say it, and for a moment there I thought I fucked up, but I meant it, Steve, I like you so much that I ignored everything I stand for to fucking shoot hoops with you. I don’t even care that I got a concussion because of it!”

Instead of smiling like Eddie expects him to, Steve seems troubled. Eddie wonders if maybe he said too much. “What?”

“I know I probably shouldn’t kiss you while you have a concussion,” Steve says, biting his bottom lip and having the nerve to glance at Eddie’s mouth. “But I really want to.”

Eddie’s stomach flip flops and he needs a few seconds to remember how to form words because Steve wants to kiss him! “Ever heard of the expression kiss it better?” He asks, the corners of his mouth pulling up in a smirk.

Steve chuckles. “I don’t think it applies here,” he says, but Eddie can’t help but notice how he’s started leaning in.

“We can still try,” Eddie says, leaning in too, knowing that Steve is about to break. He thinks back on the puppy dog eyes and the pouty lips he gave Eddie when he asked him to play basketball with him and decides to give it a try, batting his eyelashes at Steve and sticking his bottom lip out. “I really want you to kiss me, Steve.”

Steve’s eyes go wide and his breath leaves him in a whoosh, Eddie can feel it against his face. “Fuck, you were right.”

“About?”

“Nothing easy about saying no to the guy you have a crush on,” Steve says, echoing Eddie’s words. 

Eddie starts to laugh, but the sound dies in his throat when Steve cups his cheeks and closes the distance between them, pressing their mouths together. Eddie whines instead, low in his throat, his arms wrapping around Steve’s shoulders and sinking them both back onto the couch. They’re touching in so many places, but Eddie wants more, so he opens his mouth and hopes that Steve takes the invitation. 

And he does- licking the roof of Eddie’s mouth, and angling his head to kiss him deeper. And it’s so good, it’s like nothing Eddie has ever felt, and for a moment, he actually worries that he knocked himself out on the court earlier and this is just some elaborate coma dream. 

But Steve feels so real- his lips against his, his shoulders under Eddie’s hands, the sinful noises that he keeps making. 

Eddie swings his leg over Steve’s lap, straddling him and breaking the kiss for the first time so that he can grin down at him. 

“I think we found another way to make sure I don’t fall asleep,” he says, eyes roaming over Steve- his red bitten lips stretched into a dopey grin, his hooded eyes that keep darting to Eddie’s mouth, the rise and fall of his chest, the exposed collarbone thanks to how worn the collar of Eddie’s shirt is, the mole-covered skin there that’s just begging to be kissed, bitten, marked up. 

“I changed my mind,” Eddie says, picturing what a love bite on Steve’s chest would look like and wanting to get on with it.

Steve’s hands freeze where they came to rest on Eddie’s thighs, his pinkie brushing against the bare skin after his shorts rode up. 

“Are you okay? Does it hurt? Are you dizzy?” He asks, earnest eyes darting over Eddie’s face, looking for any sign that he’s in pain. 

“Not about this,” Eddie says with a little shake of his head that makes his bangs fall over his eyes. He tugs the collar of Steve’s shirt down- his shirt. “I changed my mind about wanting my shirt back.”

Steve’s eyebrows shoot up, his lips tugging up in a smirk. “Well,” he says, voice dropping low, his fingers teasing the hem of the shorts that Eddie is wearing. “As long as you give me my clothes back too.”

Eddie’s heart stutters, warmth pooling low in his stomach. “It’s only fair.” Then he remembers something else. “You know, I could use that shower that I passed on earlier.” 

Steve raises his eyebrow. 

“But I still feel a little dizzy,” Eddie says, putting the back of his hand against his forehead like a fainting maid, waggling his eyebrows at the same time. “Think you can give me a hand?” 

Steve grins. “Yeah, I can do that.”

They both try to stand up at the same time, and Steve almost sends Eddie toppling to the floor but luckily manages to catch him before Eddie ends up with another concussion. 

After that, they make their way upstairs, to Steve’s bathroom, kissing and touching and leaving a trail of clothes behind them. 

Right before Steve closes the bathroom door, Eddie’s eyes catch the basketball shorts Steve just took off of him, discarded on the hallway floor and he thinks- 

Maybe basketball isn’t so evil after all. 

#steddie #steddie fic #stranger things #stranger things fic #there's been so much basketball talk in the 911 fandom that i couldn't stop thinking about steve convincing eddie to play with him #only for it to go wrong lmao hope you like it! #steve harrington #eddie munson #monse writes #stficbingo

[oikasugayama]

BSD MEN AS BOYFRIENDS pt. 2

pt. 1 Dazai, Kunikida, Atsushi, Chuuya pt. 2 Ango, Ranpo, Poe

mentions of smut in Ranpo and Poe's!!

Ango

He's a sadboi and once he's comfortable with you he's probably whiny and clingy. It's extreeeemely common for him to come home from work exhausted, change out of his suit, and silently drop down beside you wherever you are. If you're in bed he'll lay with you, if you're on the couch he'll sit with you, hell sometimes he'll get into your bath with you. He wont talk for a while--sometimes up to an hour-- while he decompresses from work, and then finally once he's started to relax he'll talk to you and ask how your day was. You're used to this-- you can't imagine the stress he's under on a day to day basis not only doing his job but knowing that he's incredibly hated among some very very dangerous circles. You promised him a long time ago that you wouldn't ask about it and would try your best not to worry about it. "I could be killed any day for a multitude of reasons," he told you once. "Let me worry about that. Please just let me feel normal and in love with you in the meantime."

He doesn't...have friends... so you get to spend ALL of his free time with him :D Not that there's a lot of it. He hates working late, but unfortunately it happens a lot (funny how it coincides with every time the Port Mafia or the Armed Detective Agency get involved in some big scheme). You miss him when he's late coming home, but as much as you want to be a cute partner and bring him dinner at the office (or stop by for any reason for that matter), you know you can't. Ango keeps your relationship EXTREMELY private, to the point of being secretive. You're not allowed to be seen in public together, for your safety. He doesn't want you to be taken and used against him for any reason, so it's better that your relationship is under wraps.

One time, though, you were at home with him and Dazai--okay, so Ango has one friend--invited himself in. You'd never met him before this moment, and he seemed shocked that Ango wasn't home alone. You've heard enough about Dazai to know that he likely instantly knew who you were to Ango when he saw you leaned against each other on the couch in the split second before Ango leapt to his feet and started yelling at Dazai for breaking in.

Ango honestly seems a little relieved to introduce you properly to Dazai-- you're the two most important people in his personal life, after all. Now maybe he can have his two favorite people in the room at the same time and feel a little normal for once.

Ranpo

Don't even fucking pretend like you don't have a crush on him. The second you think "oh shit, I think I like him" he opens his eyes, quirks an eyebrow at you, and says "I didn't even do anything." If you didn't know better you'd think he's telepathic. He asks you on a date then and there (after a bit of teasing, trying to get you to admit to liking him before he outs you himself)

He fairly quickly decides that he wants to be your partner, having worked out in an instant that you'll make his life more fun and give him lots of things that he isn't used to (i.e. affection) that he desperately wants.

If you ask why he didn't date anyone before you came along, he says that he has dated a few people, but only if they've approached him, because he's too lazy to pursue anyone. It's easier for him to wait for someone to confess than to try to hunt for someone good.

He's not much for cuddling. He's kind of touch averse and isn't too fond of petting or random innocent touches or hand holding. He very, very much likes kisses and compliments, though!! You can smooch him and tell him how handsome and smart and good he is and it'll send him over the moon.

He doesn't have much of a sex drive, but you do have sex. He prefers to not do the work as much as possible. If you'll suck him off or ride him, he's more than satisfied. He tells you he used to think he could honestly live without sex, but then he remembers how good you look when you're blissed out and how proud he feels when he makes you feel good, and it makes him want to do it more. Throughout your relationship he gets a bit more sexually adventurous, but it does take a while for him to get used to all the physical touching and the energy it expends.

It's impossible to surprise him. You have to start warning him that you want to surprise him, and then he pretends not to notice any of the sneaking you do. You kind of knew this was going to be an issue going into the relationship, but you didn't realize he wouldn't know not to spoil a surprise. He gets pretty good at pretending he didn't know surprises were coming, though. His favorite ones involve you making him special dinners or coming to the office in the middle of the day to bring him lunch and give him a kiss right in front of all of his coworkers.

Poe

He will buy you EX!PEN!SIVE! GIFTS! You want a rare first edition of a novel from the 19th century? $2,000? Pocket change. You want a beautiful gemstone neceklace and it turns out it's $100k because they're all diamonds? Easy spending money. He'd buy you a whole fucking town if you asked him to. Please ask him to. Please.

He is at your beck and call. Every second you're not with him he's thinking of you and moping. He cries to Karl that you must have forgotten about him and what if you don't love him anymore? He falls into a doom spiral and writes devastating poetry about never-ending despair and loathing--and then you text him and he's sunshine and rainbows and writes you a sonnet about how much he loves you. He's especially susceptible to sexts. If you send him a picture of your tits or your bulge, his mouth will be watering and he will call you in an instant, whining and begging for you to come see him as soon as possible.

he insists he can see through his hair and prefers it to be in his eyes to block some of the light--even if it's dark, it's still too bright for him. The first time you huff and reach up to move his hair out of his face, he nearly nuts on the spot. There's something about you grabbing his hair and forcing him to look you, unobstructed, in the eye that turns him on so much. He's very much a sub and wants you to take control and tell him exactly what you want any time you get intimate.

quality time is very important to him, just as much so as gift giving. He'd be happy to be in the same room as you even if you weren't looking at him or talking to him. All it takes is for you to be nearby for him to feel at ease. He's very prone to anxiety, but having you by his side, or just in his vicinity, makes him feel a bit braver.

He lowkey gets jealous when you give Karl more attention than him. Yes the raccoon is cute and very pettable, but Poe is pettable too, damn it, look at all that hair he has!! Run your fingers through it!! Kiss his forehead!! Discover what color his eyes are and wax poetic about how beautiful they are and ask why he keeps hiding them from you!! Give him attention!!!!!!!!!!!

#bsd x reader #bsd fanfic #ranpo x reader #poe x reader #ango x reader #ranpo smut #poe smut #bsd x reader smut #bungo stray dogs #i couldn't stop myself i had to write more

[mooncleaver]

My Queen, My Sun and My Sea

talokan once had a queen. one who loved her people with all her heart—with the same heart she had given to her k'uk'ulkan for what felt like millennia ago. but they lost her to the hands of the enemy; it was a tragic tale painted on the walls of the king's mural, the pain searing itself onto his heart uninvited. he rules now with a darkened hole in his chest, fueled by the loss of his true love and a force to protect his people even more. after all, only the most broken people can be great leaders.

pairing: namor x fem!talokan!reader

warnings: bpwf spoilers!! death (i was lowkey evil for that), colonizers, inaccurate translations, nawt very proofread lol

El Niño Sin Amor.

That was a name that echoed deep inside Shuri's head, its bitter aftertaste lingering still; a piece of Namor that she'd just uncovered.

He was an enigma; a powerful being who rose from the sea, unannounced with his presence but has always been there, deep in the waters where he and his kingdom have flourished in the city of Talokan. He had just finished recounting about his and his people's origins, how the colonizers brought a disease that left his ancestors to drink a concoction from a vibranium-infused plant found in an underwater cave to save themselves, turning them into water-breathing individuals; the Talokanil.

She turned to Namor with many questions unanswered, only to see him staring at something with a look akin to pain and longing on one of the surfaces on his murals, caressing the painting with a gentleness she had yet to seen from the god.

She shifted to the side quietly, trying to see what he was gazing at. When Namor bowed his head, Shuri saw a painting of a woman beside his serpent, posing regally with what looked like a staff in her hand.

She wore a beautiful jade and gold headpiece, green and brown feathers lining the outer layer, fading in its design as if the light was shining on them. It towered atop her figure, framing her perfectly like she was always meant to be there. She was adorned in jewelry, from the large, circular green jade plugs that hung from her ears to the tessellated necklace that she wore—a striking amalgamation of gleaming silver beads, plated viridescent tiles to carved gold pendants and everything that complemented her beauty. The woman had a tan clothe wrapped around her body, washes of terracotta and hues of sage and cream woven in stripes on the fabric. She was covered in jewels—just like Namor.

One thing for sure, she must have been of royalty in Talokan. Or a goddess, perhaps. The corks in Shuri's head turned as she tried to figure out where the woman in the mural fit in Namor's story.

"Who is that?" Her question seemed to break him out of his reverie. She could see the way his body tensed at her question, and whether it was because she cut him out of his thoughts of because of what she asked, she didn't know.

It took a quiet moment before Namor answered, looking in deep contemplation with his eyebrows furrowed deeply and his eyes growing darker. The next thing he uttered was so full of emotion that it flooded through the sentence, his voice sounding thicker than blood.

"Leti' ka'ach in reina. My queen. In k'iino' ka, in k'áak'náabo'."

(She was my queen. My sun and my sea.)

For a second her words refused to make it out of her mouth. The Wakandan princess' mind didn't wonder to Namor having a queen.

The Namor now wasn't like the Namor she had met in the shores of her land with her mother. The Namor now felt like a broken man who would go the farthest lengths to protect his people. With every counting second of being in this underwater cave, Shuri seemed to discover more and more about the man, slowly laying bare the walls he had built around himself.

"Is she-"

"She was.. she was killed by surface dwellers." The god cut off, as if he couldn't bear to hear the words coming out from someone else's lips. He closed his eyes for a moment and Shuri felt the sea grow quiet for a split second. It was like it remembered their lost queen.

He took a deep breathe before speaking out and if one were to listen closely, they could hear the slight shakiness in his voice, like talking about this particular incident tore his wounds open again. "Years ago the surface dwellers tried to find Talokan. They were told of an underwater city filled with glittering gold and diamonds, with a palace of precious metals whose value exceeds all else."

"They are greedy, always taking and taking what is not theirs—beasts who ravage land with no mind of its consequences. She was there where the land met the waters along with the young ones, and those monsters crossed paths with them." Namor shook his head, disdain present in the way he moved his body and his words.

"The first thing they did they raised their weapons, pointing it at her when all she did was offer them her hands. She tried to speak to them, to negotiate with peace and kindness. But they are blinded with hatred." He spat that word out and Shuri almost flinched at his tone.

"With no mercy they killed her and the children. They took their lives as if it was nothing to them."

"When I emerged to the surface.. she was already dying."

One of your handmaids had been the one to inform him of the situation, barging into his mural room right when he got back from a trip with a growing panic in her eyes as she screamed in anguish, 'Le reina! Le reina!'

"I turned to those murderers and treated them with how they treated my wife and the children; I killed them with no mercy."

The feathered serpent god will never forget the possessing rage he felt when he saw what those killers did to his wife. Without a single doubt in his movements he flew towards them like a strike of lightning and sliced their heads off before they could even scream.

Something that would always haunt his dreams was seeing his beloved die in his arms, unable to do anything, running out of time.

Sometimes, if the K'uk'ulkan thought too much about it, he could still feel the way he held you in his arms, the jarring coldness of your body that surged across his skin like a bloodthirsty frostbite.

Your hair fell in a pool beneath your head, encrusted with blood that he didn't know where it came from. There was too much, too much of it that slithered around your body. With trembling hands he supported the back of your neck, bringing your face closer as he cradled your cheeks in his palms.

"Ma', ma', in puksi'ik'al.. jaap wicho'ob, láayli' ma' jach a súutuko'," he pleaded, heart racing a thousand beats at your weakened state. His fingers stroked your temples, tracing the skin from your eyebrows to the high point of your cheek and you swore you would forever savor the feel of his skin on yours.

(No, no, my heart.. open your eyes, it's not your time yet,)

"It's al-..right, in amado." You choked out, holding the hand that held your face and leaning onto his palms with whatever energy you had left in you. It was getting harder to open your eyes or even speak, the hole in your chest rampaging your body like an unquenched beast.

"In ku. Let go, K'ukulkan. Ts'o'ok in meentik le ba'ax táan des-.. destinado in beetik waye'.. je'el u páajtal in je'elel bejla'e'.."

(They call me. I've done what I was meant to do here.. I can rest now..)

He ignored your terrifying acceptance and gently quieted you, pressing his lips onto your forehead in deep fervor. "Save you words, in yaakunaj-"

Namor's heart threatened to jump right out of his chest when he felt your hand go slightly limp, desperately taking it above the crook of his neck, right where the ends of his jaw met his ears. The king held onto you so tightly, trying to keep you grounded with him in the world of the living as if the warmth of his body would spread life to your decaying one. He saw you smile peacefully, like his touch rejuvenated you for a single beat, slowly yet surely stroking the tip of his pointed ears as you've always done whenever you had the chance to. It was a small act of affection that Namor fell weak to, and he couldn't contain the abrupt cry that fell from his lips at the familiar gesture.

"K'a'as a puksi'ik'al yéetel a-.. a yaakunaj, in ajawo'," but even then your stubborn and insistent nature persevered. You spoke with only him and your love for him in mind, silently telling him that this will not be the end. That despite after all this when you will no longer be there to tell him just how beloved and brave he is, he should still remember what he had learned—what he had taught you. You hoped that it would keep him grounded and true, still fierce but with compassion and empathy.

(Remember your heart and your love, my king,)

"In.. yaakunech," and you let our your final breathe, the light in your eyes no longer shining as you stared up into nothing. At the least you looked content to pass to the afterlife in your husbands arms, a gentle lift on the corner of your lips to signify that you've moved on. But along with your departure you tore apart of Namor that he didn't think could ever be replaced—left him with a half-ripped heart and as a shell of the man he once was.

(I love you)

Now, kneeling on the prickling pearly sand tainted with weeping carmine, he was not a god. He was not the king of a powerful underwater nation, he was not a lethal mutant, a hero, a villain, or a protector. No, he was just a man. A man whose heart had been punctured with a hole in the shape of his beloved.

He screamed at the world with the voice of someone who had just lost everything, scorning the surface dwellers with a burning pit of anger and vengeance in his blackened heart. It echoed around the area, bleeding onto every rock, every blade of grass and every tree with his promise of death. The sea grew restless, mirroring the raging currents in his soul.

Namor choked a cry, closing your eyes as his hands shook with grief and pain, body threatening to collapse under his heartbreak. He brought your face closer to his, resting his forehead against yours while he scrunched his eyes closed, disbelieving and mourning of the loss of his beloved. Because no matter how much he begged, how much he cried for you, you would never come back to him, never blessing him with that delicate smile on your face again. The god stayed there for what felt like hours and days, whispering sweet goodbyes, harrowing sobs and promises to avenge you.

When he carried your cold body to Talokan, the people could only stare in shock and despair over the loss of their darling queen. In their eyes you were one of the most powerful people in the kingdom, not just because of your position, but because of your compassion and your love—something that knew no bounds.

It was a painful and gut-wrenching experience, to bury his own wife. It brought him back to the time where he had to do the same to his own mother, to cover her in clothe and put a piece of maize inside her mouth.

"The surface dwellers have taken so much. Talokan's queen, our home and our freedom. I will not let them do so again." Namor had a scathing look in his eyes, a latent tone of tiredness from facing a world that only took from him.

"She must have been an amazing queen and a strong woman." Shuri could only utter these words with a solemn expression on her face, unable to reply to such vulnerability of someone she had considered a dangerous enemy. Despite that.. there was an underlying empathy between the two. Shuri understood him. She knew the pain of losing someone you love.

"She was." A calm visage eventually spread around his face as he looked up at the glorious mural depicted on the walls of the room. "She had the biggest heart and the kindest soul."

Namor couldn't help but get lost in his memories of his beautiful wife. He speaks no lies when he describes you. You were the people's queen, as what the Talokanil called you. You'd always visit the people, play games with the children and scour the underwater markets that sold all kinds of trinkets and foods. Whenever the people needed you you were always there, willing to help them without a second glance as you opened your heart to them all.

After you death, whenever he would swim around Talokan and talk to his people—laughing and joking around with them—there would be this.. serene melody inside his heart, a gentleness that ran through his veins. Namor would feel the water pulsing on the pads of his skin and he'd always take a moment to close his eyes to relish the feeling. Then a smile would make it onto his face—the kind of smile that you would always tell him to show more often. His people felt it too, like a warm embrace to their soul, as if you were watching over them, still caring about them even when you were gone.

It was not only to Talokan's people, but to the ocean's animals too.

If there was one thing about his queen, it was that you had a deep affinity with the marine animals. Whenever the king couldn't find you anywhere in your room or in the palace halls, Namor would only smile to himself and swim to the clearing of the sea just outside of Talokan, watching his wife croon along the whales and the orcas, taking care of them as if your love spoke a thousand languages.

"In ch'ujuk, ko'oten paakat!" You would shout, gleefully waving your hand up in the air with no care in the world.

(My sweet, come and look!)

Sometimes he would only stay back and watch you with eyes so tender that it looked like he was entirely captivated by you. By your voice, your laughter, your smile; your everything. Other times, Namor would be too taken by you (as he always was), deciding to join you play with the creatures that you'd called 'your babies'. Whirling and chasing them around them felt like dancing in the water and Namor was too in love to ever deny you of your little joy.

Even now whenever the whales would call out to the sea, or when the orcas whistled and clicked along, he could still hear your radiant laughter singing along with them and oh how he longed to hear that sound again, to hear the melody of the ocean in its fullness.

You were simply the glue to Talokan; everyone adored the queen.

Until now, your throne still sat next to his, the jade and vibranium never ceasing to glow. Every time he sat there, watching over his people and celebrating his kingdom with defiant shouts of "L'ik'ik Talokan" he would always remember your face, remember the proud look you had when you would raise your fist to your chest along with everyone. Your memory will never fade in the heart of Talokan, always lingering in the brightest places, comforting during troubling times, because you will always be a precious piece of the kingdom that neither he nor his people would forget.

If he brought the sun to his people, you were the sun to him.

"You and I, we are not so different, princess." He broke his train of thought.

"Those people only see us as threats because they know we are powerful. They will not stop until they have what they want. It is a danger to my kingdom and my people—a threat to your people too."

Finally, Namor turned his head to face Shuri, a determined aura lingering in his voice and in his expression. She felt compelled to stare back straight into his eyes, the conviction in his tone like a true king. "And so I offer you again."

"Join me, and we will never have to see our people suffer, to see our loved ones suffer. We will no longer mourn our losses and bury the dead for unjust cruelty."

"Together, we will watch the world burn."

lawd this man singlehandedly got me out of a writing slump like.. making a fic with angst + namor = too easy 😩💳💥

this is my first time writing for him, so i hope it was okay! im so in love with him and i wanted to contribute my own piece to the fandom.

also, i'm pretty sure the yucatec mayan was not properly translated, so i apologize from my heart for the inaccuracies. please tell me if i have to fix anything!

dividers by @delishlydelightfuldividers and @rpinkling

tags: @bloatedandlonly

#me when i write about anything other than percy jackson #very nervous tbh #making this when i couldn't find fics with similar tropes was lowkey a cunty move #namor x reader #namor x y/n #namor of talokan #namor the sub mariner #namor mckenzie #namor imagine #black panther wakanda forever #black panther #mcu shuri #shuri #namor fluff #tenoch huerta #talokan #marvel #mcu x reader #mcu #NEED TO STOP LISTENING TO JUDAS TO THIS MAN LIKE #marvel x reader #namor angst #namor x queen reader

[somedreamlove]

Controversial opinion, but Caiti hasn’t admitted enough responsibility for her actions in this. I’ve seen more blame levied at her friends for ‘allowing’ her to drink or ‘not protecting’ her, but her friends are not responsible for her behaviour. She is responsible for illegally underage drinking, for lying about her age with a 21 badge, for making the final decision to go to the party, to the hotel room, for choosing to stay when her friends left, for lying back down next to George multiple times, and for—yes, I’m going to say it—not giving George literally any indication of her unwillingness (if, indeed, she was ever actually unwilling in the moment). She actually had a lot of power in this situation and many, many opportunities for a decision that would not have put her in this situation.

This brings up an important difference between victim blaming and victim accountability:

Victim blaming is saying—she didn’t take precautions, and therefore she deserved to be hurt. <- (Obviously false and a very damaging mindset.)

Victim accountability is saying—she chose to not take precautions, and those decisions increased the danger of the situation and let it happen more than it would otherwise. I am sorry this meant she got hurt, and I don’t judge her for the stupid decisions. But we must acknowledge she did make those choices and she had the power not to.

Victim accountability thus actually gives her back her own power. It acknowledges that there were many things in the situation that were within her control, and it empowers her to know the many things she can do next time to more greatly control her situation. Conversely, I actually think her blaming this entire situation on George (or Dream, or her friends), is a disservice to herself, because then she sees him as all-powerful, and herself as totally powerless, which is not the case.

And reminder, we’re talking about a hand on a waist.

#I;m trying to stop writing these thinkpieces I SWEAR #but idk I have unusual opinions and I do like to see a little variety in the discussions #georgenotfound #I realised if I didn't like the CC's for not speaking their truth to avoid being cancelled #I couldn't do the same thing and try to appeal to the general mindset of tumblr instead of saying what I actually think

[carmyboobear]

Blood Orange (Ch 1: The Walk-In)

Carmy Berzatto x Reader (R18)

Rating: E (7.3k words)

links: fic playlist, pinterest board, ao3 link

Summary: Losing your job is the worst thing to ever happen to you. Getting hired by Carmen Berzatto is a close second. You tell yourself that The Beef is only temporary, that it's just a replacement until you find something better. It doesn't work. You've stopped listening. You've had a taste of Carmy, and now you don't think you're ever gonna be able to let go. No matter how bad it gets. 

Content Tags: secret workplace relationship/sex, friends/coworkers with benefits, they/them afab reader, miscommunication, mental illness (carmy and reader), dom/sub dynamics, dom carmy (for now), enemies to friends to lovers (eventually), unhealthy coping mechanisms, dysfunctional relationship

A/N: It's finally here! New series! We even get sex in the first chapter! In my other fic, I'm taking care of Carmy. In this one, I'm making him worse. Of course, here's a disclaimer that I DON’T condone or intend to glorify any of this behavior. It's just compelling to write. Enjoy!

You return to The Beef for the first time in years when you're at your lowest.

The only upside to this abysmal situation is that the job was shitty. The job you just got laid off from, to be exact. Retail was never your passion, and there's a certain relief in knowing you don't have to go back to that windowless place. You didn't play an important role in the ecosystem, but it played a pretty crucial role in yours. It kept a roof over your head.

You're sure you could’ve sued them in some fashion for letting you go without any warning, any parachute, but you didn't have the luxury of time. You needed to figure out how you were going to pay rent, and fast.

After the rage boiled over (not to say that it's resolved, the residual anger's leveled into an even simmer), you pulled your hair back, found your cleanest, nicest outfit, and started your job search. With your updated resume in hand and scuffed sneakers on your feet, you've trekked all over Chicago looking for a new job. You weren't optimistic, nor were you hopeful. 

You suppose the only word you could use to describe yourself was desperate, and it was a matter of finding someone that was just as desperate, if not more desperate than you. To put it politely, the odds of that were low. Very low. 

You got laid off that very morning. The rest of your afternoon has been spent walking from door to door to every establishment you could spot. By some cruel twist of fate, none of them were hiring. The ones that were hiring looked unenthusiastic, even adverse to taking your resume. 

“When would you be able to start?” Some of the workers asked. 

“Tomorrow,” was your desperately honest answer. 

“If all goes well, you'll hear from us in a week,” was their response. The unspoken was, of course, the fact that radio silence was more likely than an email or phone call. Places didn't even send rejection letters anymore. 

“Thanks for your time,” you'd say, bringing out a bright smile from a complete lack of reserves, and as soon as you turned around, your face would drop. 

Your hopes were low, nearly non-existent, but damn. Damn. It wasn't looking good for you.

That's why you enter The Beef. You vaguely remember visiting this place a couple years ago, back when you first moved to Chicago. The owner was…pretty nice, actually. You don't remember his name, but you remember having a pleasant conversation with him. Of course, there's nothing you can do if he doesn't have a job opening, but it wouldn't be bad to see a friendly face. Even if that face is from someone who's basically a stranger. 

The doorbell rings when you enter. It catches the attention of the man standing behind the counter, and with how his head jolts up, you'd think the bell functioned as an alarm instead. 

“Welcome,” he says. Your first impression, other than the fact that he seems very, very, tired, is that he's irritatingly attractive. If anything, the eyebags and the greased back waves only add to whatever the hell he's got going on. 

“Hi. Um…” You're briefly caught off guard by his biceps, but you catch yourself. “I was actually wondering if you guys were hiring.”

“We are,” he replies, and it's the best thing you've heard all day. He lights up like the spark of a lighter, bright and instantaneous. It doesn't shake the pervasive exhaustion that radiates off him, though. 

“Thank god,” you mutter, and you want to take it back (it's far too casual), but he cracks an amused smile that makes you want to dissolve like a pinch of salt in a sea of sauce. “Sorry. Do you mind if I talk to the owner? We met a while ago, and—”

“I'm the owner,” he interrupts, and any other words you had planned fall away.

“Sorry?” You repeat. “I swear it was this guy—he had short dark hair, I think—”

“Yeah, he left the place to me. Didn't want it anymore, so.” He shrugs. The light you just saw from him has fizzled away like the end of a sparkler, short-lived and ultimately disappointing. 

“Oh. Got it. Uh…” To your credit, you don't fumble for too long. You have a lot of questions, but you've got more pressing issues. You pluck out a resume from a file folder. “Here's my resume, then.”

He takes it from you, flips it to face him. He's quiet as his eyes lower down the page, and you wonder if it's going to be a guillotine or a pot of gold at the end of this. The only sounds in the entrance are the passing cars outside, the rickety air conditioning, and muffled chatter from the back. 

“You worked as a prep cook.” He says it like a fact, but you know it's a question. 

“Yeah, nothing fancy. Just at some chain restaurants.”

“Right. I see you worked as a line cook at another location. Which one did you prefer?”

“Uh…” They both came with their separate pains. Your honest answer is that being a line cook was one of the most stressful experiences of your life, but if he has a position open as a line cook, you don't want to fuck it up. “They were both fine. I think I was a little better as a prep cook, but I didn't mind either.”

He hums, satisfied by your answer. At least it’s only half of a lie.                                                                                                                    

“How do you work under pressure?”

“Good,” you answer quickly. “Well enough.”

“Willing to learn?”

“Obviously. I mean…” You think you see a flash of a smile, but you're unsure. “Yeah.”

“When'd you be able to start?” You're surprised he's already asking this.

“Tomorrow,” you say, just like you’ve been, and his reaction is different from the others. He nods. He doesn't smile, not like he did earlier, but you can tell this is a good sign. 

Before he can get a word out, there's a sharp, metallic explosion of noises that resounds from the direction of the kitchen. 

“Uh,” he starts, eyebrows pinched in irritation, the voices come in. 

“I told you, you have to say behind!” A woman's voice. She sounds young, but there's no real way to be sure of that.

“How the hell did you not hear me coming?” A Chicago accent, male. Older, maybe. “I was in the middle of having a conversation with Tina—”

“Great, I'm so happy for you, I don't give a shit, now this has all went to waste—”

“Well, who's fault is that?”

“Who's fault is that? You did not just—”

“Guys!” The man you've been talking to gives you an apologetic glance before walking to the back, pushing through the folding doors. You catch a glimpse of the two people arguing on the other side before it shuts. “I'm tryin’ to talk to a new hire here. We can't be like this right now. Not ever, but especially right now.”

Finally, the first sane person I've met all day, you think. 

“Carmy, talk some sense into her,” the older guy shouts, and it gives you a name to the face. “All of this on the floor—”

“You didn't say behind,” the woman repeats, except with more fury in it this time.

“You didn't say behind,” he imitates back. “Carmy—”

“She’s right. Richie, step out,” Carmy says. “Syd, you clean this up.”

“But—” You hear her start to protest. 

“You spilled it, you clean it,” he cuts through, decisive and firm.

“I know, but Richie—”

“Clean it,” he repeats, firmer, darker this time, and there's a beat of silence. 

“...Yes, chef.”

“I told you to step out,” Carmy tells who you assume is Richie. 

“You're just gonna let her—”

“Step the fuck outside right fucking now!” Carmy screams, his patience shooting away like a gunshot. You feel something shrivel inside you, and not in a good way. “Do the one fucking thing you're good at and get out of the fucking way!”

Yeah…definitely not in a good way.

From what you hear, it sounds like Richie has to get wrestled outside by someone, whom you're not sure. After another minute, Carmy returns to the front. 

“I'm sorry about that. Fucking—” He drags a hand across his face. You swear his eyebags have grown heavier in the 5 minutes he was in the kitchen. “What was I saying?”

“Um, I was saying that I could start tomorrow,” you remind him, although the vigor you had just stated it with is a bit fizzled out. 

“Right. Okay. Uh—” He pats his hands on his apron, searching for something. A pen and paper appear in his hands, and he scribbles something on it. This is when you notice his tattoos. A flower on the back of his hand. Surprising. “You're hired. Here's the paperwork you need to fill out, along with the number and email you'll be hearing from me at.”

“What?” You take the sheets, but the smooth paper doesn't feel real in your hands. His handwriting is hasty and dark, like he was running out of time on a test. “I mean, I'm just surprised.”

“Do you not want it?”

“I want it,” you promise, and you feel your cheeks flush. This is a bad time to yet again notice how attractive he is. His pretty eyes, his nose. The little moles under his left eye. “Y-Yeah, I want the job.”

“Good.” He motions towards the sticky note again. “Come in at 8 am tomorrow. You'll be starting as a prep cook, which you've done before.”

“Okay. Okay, yeah, I'll be there.” The reality is setting in now, and an odd cocktail of relief, apprehension, and excitement is settling in your stomach. “Thank you so much.” I just got laid off from my job this morning, so this means a lot, you want to say, but it's too soon. You don't want to say anything that'll make him change his mind about whatever he sees in you. 

“Thank you,” he echoes back. “We need the help. I'll see you tomorrow.”

“See you,” you reply, and with that, the door rings behind you. A customer comes up to the counter, peering up at the menu. You figure this is your cue to leave. He's not looking at you anymore anyway. 

So, I got a job now, you update your friends, texting them on your way home on the metro. As the relieved congratulations come flying in, another remark seems to resound amongst all of them. 

I can't believe you got the job just like that. That place must be desperate, too, is roughly what they've all said. The thing is, they're not wrong. 

You managed to find someone more desperate than you in the job economy. Just one, but that was enough. It makes you think, though. You think about Carmy's weary blue eyes, his brief smile, and his hand tattoos. You wonder if it's just the restaurant that gives him that bone-deep exhaustion, or if it's a smaller part of a bigger picture. 

You think about it for the rest of your commute, you think about it as you smoke on the porch, you think about it as you lay in bed. You think about it as you fill out the paperwork, fingers tracing where Carmy's written his name, number, and email.

Carmen Berzatto

773-555-0901

So Carmy's a nickname, you think. Not about what type of boss he's going to be, not about what it's going to be like working under someone you are obviously attracted to. 

Maybe you should be more worried about this.

If it's bad, I'll just find another job, you tell yourself, and you foolishly believe it.

. . . . .

Your first day on the job starts with introductions. 

At least, that's about as much as you've figured out so far. When he sees you upon arrival, he pauses and stares at you like he's forgotten. Not a great start. Granted, he does snap out of it. That's when he tells you to follow him, which is where you currently find yourself. You're not sure where he's leading to, only that he's introducing you to others as you pass them by.

“They’re working with us starting today,” Carmy tells everyone. “They’re gonna be on prep.”

Right. So that's what you'll be doing. At least he told you that much yesterday.

The catalog of coworkers expands exponentially. You remember Sydney from yesterday, and to her credit, she apologizes about having you witness her fight with Richie, who conveniently isn't here yet. She seems the nicest out of all the bunch, so you decide to let it slide. 

Marcus is pretty nice, too. So are Ebra, Sweeps, Manny, Angel—everyone seems to be pretty alright. It’s obvious they’re standoffish by you being in their space. You find it hard to hold it against them. You’re not really sure how your relationships with them are going to pan out. There are only three that you’re particularly unsure on.

The first and obvious one is Richie. He came in eventually and didn’t give you the best impression, immediately talking over everyone and oozing arrogance. The only salvageable thing is that he’s not even a chef. At least you won’t have to be in the kitchen with him much. You want to avoid the honor of talking to him as much as possible.

Tina is next. She clearly doesn’t enjoy having someone new in the ecosystem, and she’s spent more time ignoring you than talking with you. As you understand it, she’s close to the rest of the staff since they’ve all been together for a while. Minus you and Syd, as you learn she’s only been there for a week. You think Tina will warm up to you…eventually.

Carmy is the last one, and he’s…he’s…

He’s something else.

He has you doing prep for most of the day. After introducing you to everyone and giving you a brief tour, he brings you to your station, scratched up stainless steel.

“You’re going to be cutting onions and carrots today for the stock. The vegetables are in the walk-in I showed you earlier, and when it’s done, it goes on the first shelf.” Carmy’s to your right, set up at his own station. You swear you keep your eyes focused on the vegetables, not his biceps in that shirt, but… “You should already know this, but label everything. I don’t want to see anything without a date. Got it?”

“Yes, chef,” you confirm, snapping out of it. He’s been flinging new information at you like it’s a war and he’s gunning to survive. But so are you. “I’ll do my best.”

“I expect as such.” He slides over a peeler for the carrots and some plastic bins for trash. “It’s just a stock, so don’t worry about an even cut. Just salvage whatever you can, cut off anything that doesn’t look good.” You nod. “Been a year or so since you did this, right?”

“Yeah. I cook regularly, but I’ll need to get back into the groove of things. And I will,” you add hastily. “I’ll combine them into this one when I'm done, right?” You ask, nudging a large plastic container. 

“Correct.” A brief smile flashes across his face. “You're already following quicker than I thought you would.” You’re not sure if he means it as an insult or a compliment, so you decide to take it as the latter. 

“I haven't even chopped anything yet.”

“I know.” His expression is flat again. You resist a laugh.  He plucks an onion from the bin, puts it in front of you. “Show me a rough dice.”

The knife is sharp. You notice this as you place careful cuts into the onion. It's not quite as sharp as his unnerving gaze, which layers pressure upon pressure. It builds up like a pastry puff, thin multitudes of layers expanding upward. You need to be good. You need to be perfect. You don't want to disappoint him, not this early, even though you've barely been here for an hour. 

It's just a shitty old sandwich shop, you tell yourself, but your dicing is uneven and you briefly think about accidentally chopping your fingers off. 

“Not my best work,” you admit, vaguely breathless. Carmy hasn't said anything yet.

“It'll do.” You're waiting for him to say something else, give you some tips, but he doesn't. Irritation prickles to the tips of your fingers. “I'll be back to check in on you later.”

You stand there, motionless and shocked in the aftermath. You're not sure what you expected from today, but being abandoned an hour in was not at the top of your bucket list. 

Man, what the fuck, you think, the thought clear in the silence around you, and that's the last time you can hear yourself think for the rest of the shift. 

There's a prepared stock from yesterday simmering on the stove behind you. It's flanked by boiling potatoes and reducing tomato sauce. The heat from it’s searing your back like a steak, slowly drawing lines of moisture all over the surface of your shirt. Your coworkers constantly invade your space to check on them. You suppose it's not their fault that the kitchen, but it's still irritating. They're also all shouting over each other like it's a competition.

“Who the fuck touched my stock—”

“No one touched your stupid shitty stock—”

“I am trying to find this cutting board, will someone please—”

You move on from the onions with only a thin layer of sweat collected at your hairline. 

Your hands are shaky as they peel the carrots. You know you're not getting as efficient of a shave as you could be, but the caffeine crash from your morning coffee is getting to you. You don't remember the last time you drank water. A cigarette sounds nice. 

“Clean your station, chef.” Carmy materializes next to you. You hear him before you see his hands scooping carrot shavings into a plastic container. It shocks you so much that you almost cut yourself. 

“Sorry, chef,” you reply reflexively. You look down at your station, straightening your tools. You want to ask if you can take your break, but you don't want to look any weaker than you do already. “So, uh, do we get 30's here?”

When you don't get a response, your head snaps up, irritation on the tip of your tongue, but he's not even there. 

Fucking hell, you think, annoyance simmering into something akin to anger, and you go back to finishing your prep. 

You don't see him for another hour after that. It's not even him that tells you to take your 15, it's Syd, who noticed you were half-way through your shift and on the verge of…something. 

“You finished the prep he gave you, right?” Syd had asked. You told her you finished and put it back in the walk-in. “Yeah, then go take your break. Did he not tell you we get 15's here?”

“He didn't,” you say, too annoyed to bother hiding the disdain in your face. Sydney just sighs, rolling her eyes, and you think you love her. 

“Asshole.” She makes a shooing motion at you then. “Go, get a break from this madness. It'll get better, I promise.”

You're not sure if you believe her, but you do step outside to take your break. 

As you stand outside in the back, you take note of tightness in your body that you weren't even aware of. The cigarette smoke calms you, loosens you. Or maybe you owe that to getting out of that hot kitchen. 

This time, you see Carmy before you hear him. You turn to the door to see him stepping out, a pack of smokes in his hand. 

“Hey,” he says. 

“Hey,” you reply.

“Everythin’ goin’ okay so far?”

“Yeah. It's fine.” Other than everything.

“Really?” His surprise just pisses you off further. “Well, that's good.”

“...Yeah.” You decide if your mouth stays unoccupied, you'll start cussing him out, so you put your cigarette back in your mouth. 

“You're bleeding.”

“What?”

“I said, you're bleeding. Your hand.” 

You look down at your hand holding the cigarette, and sure enough, there's a thin, shallow cut oozing blood near one of your knuckles. 

“Shit,” you mutter, quickly sucking the skin into your mouth. When you pull it back, the red refills. “I didn't even notice.”

“Let's get a bandaid on that.” He puts his unlit cigarette back into his pack. “I have some in my office.”

That's how you end up in the enclosed, dark space of his office, seated on the only chair as he leans back against his cluttered desk. The dingy first-aid kit is propped on top of a shaky stack of papers. Carmy takes out a bandaid from it and peels it open.

“Thought I gave you a sharp knife, it shouldn't have cut you like that,” Carmy comments. 

“It was sharp,” you correct. “Guess I just fucked up.”

“It happens,” he says, which surprises you. He keeps surprising you. You just can't seem to figure him out. “Let me see the cut.”

You only realize that he's putting the bandaid on you when he cradles your hand in his. His hands are warm. 

He has so many hand tattoos. You notice the letters on his fingers first, the SOU curled around your palm. You notice the other tattoo on the back of his hand next, since that's the one carefully placing the bandaid on you. 

He wraps it around your finger just right. Not too tight, not too loose. 

“Is that too tight?” He asks, almost in a whisper. He's so close, and he smells like kitchen oil, cigarette smoke, and a faded cologne you can't place. 

“No, it's okay.” You don't mean to talk so quietly back, but you do. You can't stop staring at his fingers. They're long and marked up with silver scars and burns. If you look carefully, you can place the locations of his callouses. 

“Good.” You don’t know why he does it, but he runs his thumb across the seams of where your bandaid overlaps. Surely it’s just to secure it further…surely.

“Thank you.” He’s still holding your hand. You’re unsure if you’re imagining the tension in the air or not. Everything feels more intimate behind closed doors, especially in low light. “I could’ve done it myself.”

“It’s easier if another person does it.” He lets go, finally, and you try not to mourn the loss. “Did you finish prepping for the stock?”

“What you gave me, yeah.”

“Alright. Let’s go take a look at it, then,” he says, like that isn’t the most anxiety inducing thing you’ve ever heard. 

“R-Right now?”

“As opposed to?” He opens the door to his office, and the muffled noises in the kitchen become sharp and clear again, like emerging from underwater. “Come on.”

You don’t know how it happens, but Carmy gets into five separate arguments on the way to the walk-in. FIVE. To be fair, two of them are from Richie.

“I’ve been telling you guys to sharpen your knives, don’t fucking treat them like this,” Carmy shouts, trudging over to someone’s station. “You see this? This is exactly what we should not be doing! How many times have I said this today?! Don’t—“

“Stop going into my office when I’m not there,” Carmy hisses at Richie next. “You keep fucking up where the papers are put, and I can’t find anything! It’s enough of a mess as it is! No—I said—cousin, listen to me—“

“Everyone shut the hell up, clean your stations, and get the fuck back to work!” Is the last thing he shouts before slamming the door to the walk-in behind you. He slams it so hard the wire racks rattle. You decide not to comment. 

The difference in sound is eerie. You’re always surprised by how sound proof these walk-in fridges are.

“Is this the prep you did today?” Carmy asks, touching one of the clear plastic bins. Sure enough, it’s the one you placed there a moment ago.

“Yeah, it is.” You chew the inside of your cheek. You were hoping he would be in an okay mood when he checked your work. It seemed like he was at first, but now?

“It's on the wrong shelf.”

“What?” You stare at it sitting on the first shelf, just like he told you to. “You told me to put it on the first shelf.”

“It goes on the second shelf.” He's pissed, and there's ice in your veins. He huffs as he takes the container and moves it one shelf up, slamming it down unnecessarily. “I told you—second shelf.”

“You literally said it went on the first shelf.” The ice has melted, and it's boiling. 

“No, I didn't.” You wanna punch him. Badly. You know what you heard. “And you forgot to label it.”

“Shit.” That, you did forget. You’re not above owning up to your mistakes, unlike him. “I'm sorry, I was—”

“We always need stuff like this to be labeled,” he interrupts, rude and abrupt. You can hear the thinly veiled anger in his voice. “I told you.”

“I know, I just—“

“Don’t make excuses. Just do better.”

“It’s my first fucking day!” You snap, finally, and it’s like a firecracker in the dead of night. “I don’t expect to be coddled, but I’ve only been here for a couple hours, and you’re just—“

“I told you to put a label on it, to put it on the second shelf, and you didn’t do either of those things.” This is a different type of anger. It’s quiet, contained. Dangerous. And with your outburst, it’s trembling at the edges. 

“You literally hired me yesterday!” You’re exasperated. “You looked at my resume for like two seconds before hiring me, and you’re mad that I’m messing up?”

“You had enough credentials on your resume. You told me you could work well under pressure and learn quickly. Is that true or not?”

“It is true! You just have to give me a chance first!”

“I just gave you a chance,” Carmy snaps back, “and you fucked it up.”

“Oh my god. I just—“ You take a step back. “I don’t have to take this shit.”

“Are you quitting already?”

“I wasn’t going to.” You move towards the door. “But maybe I should, before you fire me. Doesn't seem like you want me, anyway.”

You were planning on exiting the walk-in after that, to leave on cue, but the door doesn’t budge. You and Carmy notice it at the same time. 

Suddenly, there is a new problem.

“Fuck,” Carmy curses under his breath. The two of you are pushing against the door, but it won’t budge. He slams his fist on it and calls out. “Guys, the walk-in door is stuck! Can any of you open it from out there?”

“Carmen?” Richie's voice is muffled from the other end. There's the sound of frustrated efforts on the other end. “It's not fuckin’ budging!”

“Fuck,” Carmy repeats, seething, and you agree. “Call Fak!”

“I already did! He’s gonna be here in 20!”

“20 minutes?!” Carmy shouts. You close your eyes and sigh, audibly. “Don't we have a screwdriver in here or something?! Just take the hinges off!”

“Why do you think I called Fak?! Shut the hell up and be patient!”

“Tell him to hurry the fuck up,” Carmy barks, and that's where their conversation ends. 

“Just what I needed right now,” you mutter under your breath. Carmy's not looking at you, eyes boring into the door that's trapping the both of you in here with each other. “To be locked in a room with you.”

It's quiet for a minute before he speaks, cutting the silence open.

“...I do want you, y'know.”

“You—huh?” He said it so quietly you're not sure if it was a hallucination. 

“We need you here.” He's still not looking at you. “This place—it's fucked.  We don't have enough hands.”

“I can tell,” you say, and you mean for it to come out bitter, but it's soft. Naively so. 

“I want you here. I do.” He doesn't need to say it like that. You don't want to believe it, neither his words or the way hearing it makes you feel. “I need you.”

“Can you at least look at me when you say it?” 

You’re not sure why you say it. You instantly recognize it for how needy it sounds, but you don't get the luxury of embarrassment. Carmy's already turning to face you. 

“I want you,” he repeats, voice low. You think about the paint you'd need to mix to match the color of his eyes. Blue, white, and the slightest bit of orange to desaturate it. You're not sure what type of orange, though. “I need you.”

“Fuck,” you mutter, despite yourself, and it's too late.

“Are you gonna do better?” You didn't even register him moving closer to you. When did your back end up against the shelves?

“I’m gonna do better,” you whisper, “if you stop being such an asshole.”

“It won't happen again,” he whispers back, and you recognize it for the lie that it is. 

You don't really care, though. 

His face is so close to yours that you can see the separate specks of colors in his iris. You watch his gaze fall from your eyes to your lips, and it lingers there before rising again. Any shreds of self respect or control you were clinging onto disintegrate. It doesn't matter if he really means what it says. All that matters is getting your mouth on his.  

“Okay,” you say, a whisper of foolish acceptance, and you're kissing him. 

Or is he kissing you? You don't know who leaned forward first. It's not important. 

“I saw you staring at my hands today,” Carmy says against your lips. Spit makes your mouths slide easily against each other. “Yesterday, too.”

“What the—no you didn't,” you gasp, appalled, heat rising in your face, “how did you—?”

“You're right. I didn't,” he admits with a cheeky grin. You’re really gonna punch him now. 

“God, you're just,” you mutter, “you're such an asshole.”

“I know.” At first, you think he's being smug, but there's a surprising sense of remorse under it. You don't have time to think about it, though, not when his hand is cradling your face. There's no way he doesn't feel how hot your face is. 

“What're you…?” His thumb passes over your lower lip, and the words fall away. 

“Tell me you want this.” Your eyes flicker to his hand, then to his face. His other hand is at the top of your jeans, fingers resting on the edge of your waistband. Excited arousal hits your gut, sizzling like browning butter, warm and toasted. His eyes are dark, caramel on the verge of burning. “If you don't, I'll pretend like this never happened. I'll never touch you again.”

I'll never touch you again, he says, like it's not the last thing you'll ever want. 

“I want this,” you murmur. “Touch me. Please.”

“Good,” Carmy praises, one quiet word enough to sear your insides with heat, blue flame on the underside of a pan. “That's what I thought.”

His hands slip behind you to untie your apron. The strings fall to your sides, and you tug it hastily up and over your head. It falls to the floor next to you. Surely that's a gigantic health hazard, but Carmy's the one who throws it there, so you don't say anything. You lower your gaze to his fingers unbuttoning your pants. The sight of it makes you woozy. You take note of his other tattoos, noticing the letters on his fingers. You watch as the stabbed hand made of ink on his right disappears under the cloth of your underwear.

“Oh,” you breathe. You didn't expect his hand to be so warm, even though you had just felt his heated palm gentle on your cheek.

“You're wet.” The tip of his index finger dips into where your hot folds separate. It strokes at the fluid that's pooled at your entrance, coaxing it out. “When did this happen?”

“Fuck you is when,” you bite back, but it's all bark. “I don't know.”

“Sure,” he agrees, but not really. His condescending smile shouldn't be hot, it really shouldn't, but your pussy throbs against his hand, and he smiles knowingly. “All you need is me to talk and you get wet, is that it?”

“I—” His finger rises upward, splitting you open and flicking at your clit. You buck against his hand. “Don't ask me a question and then touch me like that,” you hiss, horribly turned on.

“Mm, sorry.” It's barely an apology. You throw your head back in frustration. “I didn't mean to.”

“I have a hard time believing that,” you pant. He's pushed your slick up your pussy to your clit, two slick fingers sliding back and forth on your stiff nub. The pads of his calloused fingers are rubbing you almost where you're too sensitive. 

“Then don't. I don't care what you think of me.” You think he's about to get his fingers inside of you, and your breath hitches, but he pulls back. You regret the frustrated whine that is just audible enough in the back of your throat. He does it again, just barely pushing the tips of fingers in before pulling away.

“You—why—do you want me to beg or something?” Your clenched hands raise by your sides to grip the collar of his white shirt and yank him forward. The shock that flashes across his face gives you a sick sense of satisfaction.

“It wouldn't hurt,” he mumbles. Seeing him stagger like this, even if briefly, sends a rush through your head.

“Is that what it's gonna take for you to get those fucking fingers inside me?” 

Like a coward, instead of answering, he leans an inch forward and kisses you. Or maybe that was his answer. That's when he sinks two fingers inside you, long and thick, pushing until your wet pussy's pressed tight against his palm. 

You moan, a pathetic thing, and Carmy swallows the sound of it.

“You're already begging,” he says quietly. He pulls his fingers out. You whine in protest, desperate and angry pleas on the tip of your tongue, but then he's pushing inside again.

That's the last moment of reprieve you get. His fingers start thrusting into you faster, dragging out slick each time he pulls them out. Paranoia suddenly screams that you’re gonna wet the front of your pants at this rate. The aching pleasure is louder than your fear, though. You can’t help the way his fingers are making you moan.

“More,” you plead, “give me another, I can take it.” Your hips are thrusting forward to meet his hand when they push inside. Your clit slaps against the heel of his palm, and you chase the friction. He must notice, because when he obliges and stretches you out with a third finger, he grinds the heel of his palm into your clit.

“You have to be quiet,” he says lowly when you keep moaning. “They’re gonna hear you.” 

“I—I’m trying,” you whine. You’re squeezing so tight down on him. You feel so full. “Your fingers—“

“You’re the one who asked for more.” He slaps his other hands firmly over your mouth. It silences your sound of surprise. “You said you could take it, so here’s what’s gonna happen.” His fingers are slamming into your now, and your hole spasms around them in pleasure. “You’re gonna come on my fingers, and you’re gonna be quiet. Understand?”

You know how soundproof the walk-in is. You had just witnessed it moments ago. But Carmy’s warnings do something fierce to you, bypassing logic straight into anxious, desperate arousal. He’s right, you think. You need to be quiet. You nod quickly in response, so he takes your consent and sprints with it.

To your credit, you try to be quiet. You said you would. But there’s only so much you can do when he’s fingering you so hard your legs are shaking. You’re whimpering into his hand, the sounds muffled.  Your own moans, his heavy breathing, and the slick sound of your pussy getting railed by his fingers—that’s what you listen to as you come.

“Fuck, you’re squeezing down tight,” Carmy hisses, and for an irrational second  you’re afraid you’re hurting him, but one look at his starved expression changes your mind. His three wide fingers are fucking you slowly through your wildly contracting orgasm. In one of his palms, you're oozing slick, and in his other palm, you're smearing with spit.

You should be thinking about how bad of an idea this all is, having sex with your boss. It’s too bad your orgasm is so potent you can’t think at all.

You lean your head back against the cold metal railings of the wire racks behind you. It’s uncomfortable, but a part of it feels good against the coiling heat that’s unraveling in your stomach. The air around you is cold, but you’re hot, far too hot. You don’t remember the last time you’ve finished this hard.

He finally pries his hand off your mouth once you've stopped clamping down on his fingers. His hand lingers at your face before wiping it on the side of his jeans. His expression has this unreadable, unnamed intensity to it, and you can't tell where that ends and where the hunger starts. Although he is looking very, very starved.

His hand that's tucked into your underwear tugs it upward as it leaves, pulling the fabric taut against your pussy. It sticks like paper mache with the glue of your orgasm, molded to your shape. You make an aroused noise that's a mixture of surprise and annoyance.

You're about to complain, something along the lines of “was that really necessary”, but then your eyes are zeroed in on the sheen of his fingers that were fucking you.

“Don't,” you start, suddenly worried he's going to wipe them on his jeans again, but you don't get to finish. He's pushing his index finger into your mouth, and you taste yourself on his skin.

“Good,” Carmy whispers when he feels your tongue wrapping around him. Fuck, hearing him say it like that does awful things to you.

You don't know why you accept it without a fight, but if you're being honest with yourself, this is exactly what you wanted. You start to suck, but he doesn't linger. When he pulls his finger out, your parted lips expect the other two, but he sucks them into his mouth instead. 

God. What do you even say to that? He even has the nerve to look you in the eyes as he pops his cleaned fingers out of his mouth. 

“Let me touch you,” you decide to say instead, because if you think about him and his fingers in—anyway. 

“It's fine. I don't need it.” He's oddly cagey all of a sudden. 

“Let me return the favor, please,” you insist, even adding in some good manners. It seems to still him for a moment, giving you enough time to lift his apron.

Fuck, you think to yourself, the word resounding like an alarm inside your head. His jeans are tented so tightly it looks painful. All this from touching me, you realize. You can see the shape of his bulge under the denim. The silhouette is vague, but...

It's big.

“Carmy? You still in there?”

A voice you don't recognize calls out beyond the door. As soon as you both hear it, Carmy jerks away. You mourn the loss only for a moment before you remember yourself. You're scrambling to get your pants buttoned and your apron over your head. 

“Yeah, I'm still in here,” Carmy shouts back, instantaneously irritable. His back is turned to you, and you want to feel those muscles tensing under your palm. “About fuckin’ time!”

“You're welcome, by the way! I could've left you in here to freeze and die a tragic death!”

“It's not just me in here, Fak.” A beat of silence. “Are you opening it?”

“Am I fucking—Jesus Christ, Carmen, just give me a second! I'm working my magic!”

That shuts Carmy up. Almost. He sighs before turning to look at you. 

“Sorry for getting us stuck in here.” The apology is equally as surprising as the softness of which he speaks. “Shitty first day, huh?”

“It's cool. It's not your fault.” Other than all the shit that was completely your fault, you think, remembering the way you were shouting at each other just a moment ago. “Kinda shitty though, yeah.”

“Yeah.” He sighs again. “If you wanna leave, I don't blame you.”

“I thought I wasn't getting fired.”

“You're not,” he says quickly. “But I'm—this place is a shitshow.” You're not sure which he really means to say, but you hear both. The restaurant, and him especially, are both complete messes. That much was obvious from the beginning. “So if you wanna take off, just…” He shrugs. “Just go.”

Maybe that'd be for the best, if you left. As far as first days go, you've already broken every rule in the book. You messed up your first task, got into an argument with your boss, and then had sex with him. Nothing about this place is particularly inviting, either. This restaurant wears its dysfunction on its sleeve, unabashed in all the ways it lacks. You had left the kitchen with ringing ears from all the noise and a cut on your hand you didn't even notice. 

But here you are. You're not running. Maybe it's because of the fact that you need to pay rent. Maybe it's knowing that just one more pair of hands here could really make a difference. Maybe you're just desperate to keep food on the table. Maybe it's Carmen Berzatto, beautiful, haunted, and angry. Maybe it's all of that, a combined whole that's become greater than the sum of its parts.

Or maybe it's just that now that you've kissed him, had a taste of him, you refuse to let go. Maybe the reason is as shallow as that. 

Carmy's been waiting for you to speak, tired eyes searching your own. You're still not sure what exact colors you need to perfectly recreate the blue you're staring at. 

“Almost done!” Fak shouts. “Just one more hinge!”

“Heard,” Carmy shouts back. He hasn't taken his eyes off you. “So? What's it gonna be? Are you staying or not?”

Blood orange, you think all of a sudden. That's the orange you would need to make the perfect blue to match his eyes. Just a little bit—that's all you would need.

“I'm staying,” you tell him. “I need to pay rent, after all.”

Yeah. That's the reasoning you're settling on. Rent.

“Right. Of course.” There's a glimpse of that gentle smile you've seen flashes of today. It fades away as quickly as it came. “After this, I'm gonna have you learn how to check produce next.”

“Okay, sounds good,” you say as naturally as you can, given the tonal whiplash.

“There should be some that's about to get washed. I'll show you where that is.” The door's shifting. “But before that…” He lowers his voice, leans in close. Is he about to kiss you?

“W-What?”

“Get a new apron from my office. That one's dirty.” Beams of light stream through the entrance of the walk-in, forced wide open. “You need to keep your apron clean, chef.”

YOU WERE THE ONE WHO THREW IT ON THE GROUND, you want to scream. Just when you thought he started being nice, he does something that makes you want to grab him by the collar and shake him.

But you can't. The walk-in's open again, and you see your coworkers crowded by the door. 

“Yes, chef,” you reply, and the words taste bitter on your tongue.

~

@zorrasucia

#carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto #the bear #carmy berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x reader #the bear fx #jeremy allen white #carmy berzatto smut #carmen berzatto smut #carmen berzatto x you #carmy berzatto x you #the bear fanfiction #my fics #my smut #YEAHHHH LETS GOOO im so excited to release this!! even had my friend proofread this LOL #which was helpful. i couldn't stop writing and then BAM. 7.3k #i really wanted the chapters to be shorter than alexithymia bc its a lot of words to proofread but. oh well. #we'll see if the other chs are shorter. cant wait to hear yalls thoughts!! its gonna get worse for carmy and reader from here #blood orange #🩸🍊

[thetypingpup]

OH MY GODDD the perv haechan post from earlier

imagine bff!haechan who comes over to your apartment at any chance he gets. while it seems like he’s just happy spending time w you, he can’t help but be a little perv and steal some panties from you. he likes to think he’s stealthy and steals them without you knowing.

of course, you know better than him and he’s quite literally so obvious when he does it. you even purposefully put some panties at the top of your laundry basket for him to take. after you notice quite a few of them are missing, you devise a plan to catch him in the act, trying to see what exactly he does with them.

you walk into his apartment one night, being as quiet as possible when you open his bedroom door just to see him pathetically humping his bed as he shoves his face into his pillow. if you look closely, you can see your nicest pair of panties peeking out from his pillowcase. all it takes is for him to whine out your name and for him to rip out the pair from his pillowcase, shoving it in his face for you to gently call out his name, startling him from his fantasy.

and he'd probably be so shy and so ashamed to have you find him this way, but would definitely be into the humiliation, so why not have a little fun with him? 😏

imagine leaning in the doorframe and watching him scramble to try and make this not what it looks like. it's pretty obvious, the pair of your panties clutched in his hand, his hard cock on full display and shining with lube. it looks like he tried to hide this even from himself, since the only light on comes from the desk lamp in the corner, most of the room cast in shadow. poor baby must be so ashamed of himself. he tries to stutter out an explanation, and weakly attempt to deflect by asking why you're here, which makes you chuckle

"well you called for me, so i answered. i had no idea you thought of me this way, hyuckie." you feign surprise, but the truth is he's been painfully obvious for months now. you noticed more and more of your panties had gone missing in recent days, only to mysteriously reappear. he's even holding the panties you left out just for him to find, confirming your suspicions. his face burns, tinted with bright red, and his cock throbs in his hand, which has arousal stirring within you too. truth be told, the fact that he's been "secretly" lusting after you this whole time is exciting to say the least. it's not as though you haven't thought about him the same way, though it seems you were much better at hiding it.

so you continue to taunt him, testing the waters to see how far he'll let you go, to see how he'll react, "so this is what you've been doing this whole time? i let you into my home, into my room, and you've been getting off to me this whole time? no, not even me, to my panties?"

"it has been you!" he's quick to blurt out, only to press his lips together in the next moment, realizing he incriminated himself.

when you tilt your head curiously, he stammers as he says, "i-i mean, i was thinking about you, all this time. i can't stop thinking about you."

"tell me." you start to step closer, finally shutting the door behind you.

"w-what do you mean?" he questions, watching you with wide eyes.

you stand at the side of the bed, closer than you've been this whole time, but still far enough to let what he did weigh on him. it's an enticing pressure, to be faced with the shame and arousal of what he's been doing and what he's been feeling, especially when you tell him to, "tell me what you've been thinking about. or better yet, tell me what you've been doing with my panties. were you just sniffing them like a little perv, or would you jerk off with them too?"

"m-mostly sniffing them." he admits, averting your intense gaze, "i've been mostly thinking about the way you smell. your perfume, your body wash, your...your pussy."

"and not the way i look?" you easily taunt, folding your arms and feigning offense, "i'm hurt. you were just after my pussy all this time? like every other guy?"

"no i've been thinking about your looks too! i really like the way you look!" he abruptly exclaims, babbling in loud bursts of embarrassing admissions.

despite his apparent shame, you see him squirming in excitement the whole time, his hand resting on his thigh and just itching to make its way back between his legs. looks like you were right; this subtle foray into degradation is turning him on.

it's your turn to be surprised, as he's the one who speaks up next, and he quietly confesses that, "i really like you. all of you."

you can't deny the way his sweet confession makes your heart swell, happy that he seems to have a crush on you too. maybe even more than a crush, and the thought brings a smile to your face.

he surprises you again and keeps talking, sitting up straight and looking you right in the eye, and jerking himself off the entire time he speaks, "you wanna know what i think about? i think about how good you look in your outfits, and i imagine how you'd look without them. i the way you smile and laugh when you're talking about something you like. the way your eyes light up is so pretty and i could listen to you talk for hours. i think about your pretty face and imagine what you look like when you cum. i think about your voice, and i imagine what you'd sound like moaning my name. fuck you sound so good saying my name, even when you're teasing me. drives me fucking crazy. makes me wanna tease you more."

moving his hand faster he continues, panting heavily, "i remember all those hookups you tell me about, the good ones and the bad ones, and think that i could do better. i could make you moan. i could make you scream. i could make you feel so fucking good."

"really now?" interest piqued, you lean in, sliding beside him on the bed, "and what makes you think you could do better?"

"they don't know you like i do. they don't like you as much as i do. i'd focus on you, make you feel good, make you cum as much as you want." his declaration is moaned out atop breathy exhales, but his words make your heart race regardless.

"they don't think about you as much as i do. i think about you all the time. every time we're together just makes me want you more. seeing you wasn't enough. being near you wasn't enough i needed more. that's why i took these." he pauses and holds up the panties in his other hand, biting his lip shyly before he asks, "can i tell you something else?"

"of course you can." you encourage him, your voice lowering to a seductive purr that makes shivers run along his spine. he slows his hand down so he can focus on his words,

"the reason i like when you ramble is because every time you talk i...i can't stop staring at your mouth, at your lips. i notice, every time you wear a new lipstick or a new gloss, or when you aren't wearing any at all." he turns back to you, desperation simmering in his gaze behind the lenses of his glasses, "you have really pretty lips."

"is that so? do you wanna kiss them?" you smirk, loving everything he's telling you

"more than anything." he breathes out, groaning as his hand starts moving faster on his cock.

you lean in and take hold of his face, pulling him in for a kiss. he instantly moans against your mouth, jerking his cock faster, getting off to the feeling of your lips on his. you let yourself sink into the kiss, enjoying the plush swell of his lips, finally indulging in what you've been fantasizing about for so long. he's an even better kisser than you thought, sliding his tongue against yours just enough to tantalize, just enough to have you leaning in to deepen the kiss and seek more from him. he draws you in effortlessly, making you want him more than you already did, making you seek solace in the warmth of his lips. even while he's preoccupied with self pleasure, he still focuses on you, just like he said. maybe he can do better than your past partners.

he pulls back just enough to breathe, murmuring against your lips, "wanna know what else i think about?"

"hmm, what else?" you hum curiously, running your fingers through his soft hair.

the sound he makes is akin to a purr as he leans into your hand. his thumb teases the head of his cock, and a sly smirk lifts his plush lips as he tells you, "i think about your ass. i think about it a lot, touching it, grabbing it. i think about pressing my face against your boobs while you ride me, and just grabbing your ass. i think about you bending over and just pressing my face into you, just fully taking you in. i think about taking you from behind just to watch your ass. there's a reason i always comment when you wear such short shorts."

fuck you can't take it anymore. hearing him shamelessly spill out the fantasies he had about you has you turned on beyond belief. you wanted him before, wanted him bad, but now you need him more than anything.

"how about this?" you place a hand on his, halting the movement of his hand and subtly asserting control. grabbing his shoulders, you straddle him, sitting on his lap as you pull your shirt off. you know he can feel you against his thigh, feel the pulsing heat of your core even through your pants, and the way you grind down in search of friction. you rut against him, wanting so bad to feel anything from him, though your tone still conveys your command of the situation, and he eagerly acquiesces to you, "how about you keep telling me what else you've been thinking about, and i can share a few thoughts of my own?"

he gazes up at you with an ecstatic smile, as if nothing else in the world would make him happier. his hands make their way to your body, holding your waist with a reverence that makes you swoon. he nods, and excitedly agrees, "that sounds perfect."

#nct smut #nct haechan smut #nct 127 smut #nct 127 haechan smut #nct dream smut #nct dream haechan smut #perv!haechan #i started writing and just couldn't stop 🤧