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emotionallychargedtowel · 2 months

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Hira's parents and his self-defeating tendencies

I was talking to @sorry-bonebag and @wen-kexing-apologist about what role Hira's parents might have played in creating the weirdness he displays throughout both seasons of Utsukushii Kare & Eternal. I started writing a response and it got too long and, well, now it's a post.

Before I talk about Hira's parents and the tendencies in him that they helped to create, I want to note that family of origin is just one of the influences that form us as people. Parents and caregivers have a huge influence, as do other family members. But so do peers. The bullying about his disability that Hira experiences nearly constantly is one of the biggest influences on his personality.

Hira's parents appear extremely briefly at the very beginning of the series. His mom fusses a bit about him being on his own and his dad is very "he has to take care of himself sometime" about it. We know they took him to specialists for his dysphemia, bought him his camera, etc.

Their departure is a show thing, by the way, and isn't present in the novel. In the novel they continue to live with him through high school and, if I remember correctly, part of college. But they don't play a big role in his life. The main things that happen involving them are either instances of Hira hiding things from them (or attempting to) or instances of his mother briefly, sporadically, having a big burst of worry about him. It would make sense if the show version of his parents were the same way aside from the leaving-him-to-live-alone part of things, though that’s not shown.

The rest of my thoughts are largely headcanon since I’m working backwards from his personality to guess about his formative years, but they match up with the little bit that’s shown in the series and how his parents are in the novel. I see Hira as having a self-defeating personality in a lot of ways. The typical etiology of this kind of personality (the set of conditions that lead up to it) is supposed to be a rather deprived childhood that is punctuated by occasional bursts of parental attention when the child is seen as in crisis somehow (or when they attract attention in other self-defeating ways, like intentionally getting in trouble).

This reminds me of something Nancy McWilliams writes about in Psychoanalytic Diagnosis, attributing the idea to someone named Emmanuel Hammer: “a masochistic person is a depressive who still has hope.” [I should note here that “masochistic personality” is an older term for self-defeating personality that is not meaningfully correlated with masochism in a sexual sense. I think that, despite how he might appear at first glance, Hira actually isn’t sexually masochistic or submissive. I have a whole mostly-written post about this that I hope will see the light of day eventually.] In other words, whereas the background that creates a depressive personality involves deprivation that's intense enough that the person gives up on the possibility of receiving the love they need, the self-defeating personality has had enough success with occasionally getting their needs met that they keep trying. If that’s what happened with Hira, it would be consistent with what we see of his parents in the series. We know they pulled out the stops at certain points when it comes to his dysphemia. Anyone who’s a parent can tell you how hard it is to get a good specialist to see your kid, even when they have some kind of glaring issue and you have decent healthcare access overall. The fact that they managed to get him in with a specialist is notable all on it own. (I actually have some stressful phone calls I need to make today in a similar vein, seeking specialist help for one of my kids.) They also spent a lot of money on a DSLR for a young kid. And yet they’re OK with letting him live alone and after that point remain very hands-off. It also seems like despite the attention they paid to his dysphemia during that one period, by the time of the series they’ve totally stopped trying to support him about it.

Basically, I think his parents are largely neglectful (emotionally rather than materially) but that every so often, they freak out and pay a bunch of attention to him because they perceive him to be in need of rescuing. When he was young, he probably appreciated the attention when it happened, but at the time of the series he gets those needs met in other ways and/or displaces that need for attention onto Kiyoi. The idea of seeking attention in this way maps especially well onto his relationship with Kiyoi, because he seeks Kiyoi’s attention and approval through exactly the sort of strategies typically used by people with self-defeating personalities. Here’s McWilliams again:

Reik (1941) explored several dimensions of masochistic acting out, including (1) provocation [she refers to a previous anecdote about a woman who feared angry outbursts by her partner because of experiences with her father; she would act out in ways that antagonized him in order to “get it over with”], (2) appeasement (“I’m already suffering, so please withhold any further punishment”), (3) exhibitionism (“Pay attention: I’m in pain”), and (4) deflection of guilt (“See what you made me do!”).

I can think of plenty of instances of provocation (the first type). Hira often does things he knows will make Kiyoi angry, and sometimes visibly relishes the negative attention.

One good example is the scene in Eternal where he creates a totally avoidable misunderstanding by vaguely talking about how “a divorce is going to happen” because of an affair, which Kiyoi takes to be referring to their relationship and specifically, to Hira cheating. When Kiyoi rears back to punch him, Hira protests for a moment but then says being killed by Kiyoi is actually a longstanding wish of his. It turns out it’s Naho-chan who is getting divorced because her husband cheated. Hira could easily have spoken more clearly when he brought this up by using subjects in his sentences. When he first brings up divorce, Kiyoi says, “Who are you to decide on your own without me agreeing? What dissatisfaction do you have with me?”, which makes it clear he thinks Hira is referring to something involving him. Yet Hira continues to speak without subjects when he elaborates and says the reason for the divorce is an affair. He only clears up the misunderstanding after Kiyoi has lost all patience and is (legitimately!) freaking out. There's no way this isn't, on some level, intentional.

One version of appeasement (the second type of self-defeating acting out) that McWilliams talks about is criticizing oneself before others can do so. It’s no exaggeration to say that Hira talking himself down to Kiyoi is a defining characteristic of their relationship. There are lots of examples of this but a particularly classic case is his constant refrain about being a “pebble.” His invitation for Kiyoi to “Please hit me as much as you want” after their fight in season 2 is another example of appeasement.

It’s hard to pin down specific examples of Hira employing the third type of acting out, exhibitionism. It makes sense that it wouldn’t be, though. This is a very covert type of exhibitionism that doesn’t announce itself. I think you can observe it in subtle ways, though. For example, when Shirota dumps tomato juice on Kiyoi, a bunch of it gets on Hira as well. Afterwards, Kiyoi cleans the juice off of himself as best he can, seemingly as quickly as possible, and changes his clothes. But when he talks to Hira afterward, dried drops of juice are clearly visible on Hira’s face. Acidic juice on one’s face would probably feel uncomfortable, but he intentionally doesn’t wash it off. It’s like he’s wearing these stains as a badge of honor and proof of his mistreatment.

I think deflection of guilt, the fourth type, is less characteristic of Hira than the others. He tends to absorb guilt rather than deflecting it, blaming himself in a way that often takes the form of the self-critical form of appeasement.

I think it's worth noting that he also employs appeasement as a strategy in the hostile environment of high school. His biggest rule in school is to avoid attention as much as possible, so exhibitionism and provocation aren't acceptable options. (He does disobey Shirota in a way that could be considered provocation when the rift between Kiyoi and Shirota first starts to form, but I think that's more a case of overt rebellion.) We don't see him employ deflection of guilt, though his teacher does seem a bit more forgiving of his attack on Shirota given what he knows about Hira's experiences with bullying. But appeasement? When he can't avoid attention entirely, that is his go-to strategy. It doesn't draw much, if any, additional attention this way. He can demonstrate to people who pose a danger to him that he's not a threat and is ready to comply with their orders if it will allow him to avoid mistreatment. It's only when he finds a kind of vicarious strength in Kiyoi (see my post here for more on that aspect of Hira) that he starts to deal with the bullying in other ways.

So, yeah. Hira's parents initially formed these patterns in Hira, peers deepened them, and they came out in his relationship with Kiyoi. A big part of the shift that needs to happen in order for their relationship to last is for Hira to stop using self-defeating strategies to sneakily get his needs met by Kiyoi and start seeking what he needs openly and assertively.

Maybe now would be a good time to brush off those other in-progress Utsukare posts and try to finish them off while I have a bit of momentum, huh?

By the way, if you’re interested in my previous Utsukare posts, I have a master post here with links to everything.

#utsukushii kare #utsukushii kare meta #utsukare #utsukushii kare analysis #psychology of bl #psychoanalytic theory #self-defeating personality #hira kazunari #kiyoi sou #hira x kiyoi

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for-the-sake-of-color · 2 months

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AAYYEE the 218th's Urban Crisis Response's very own Crisis Company as a revamped Draw the Squad!

after a year and a half worth of drawing practice, I like to think I've come a long ways, though my squad themselves have changed very little

Though if you're new here, perhaps some introductions are in order? Below the Cut

Captain Jet - Leader of the 218th's Crisis Company and Heartbeat of the Family

Captain Jet, formerly known as Corporal Jettison before he lost nearly the entirety of his Company during the first battle of Geonosis, only gained his rank due to the combination of a field promotion and a paper pusher rushing to get the 218th put back together with what forces they could get their hands on after their devastating first deployment, without vetting his Shiny New Promotion through the proper channels. Nevertheless, Captain Jet is dedicated to his soldiers, and to being the Kindest man he can be, not wanting any to suffer the burden of loss and shame he felt as everyone he ever grew up with died in the first week of the war.

Lieutenant Margo - Second in Command of Crisis Company and one of the Finest Technician's money can Make

The first Addition to the newly reformed Crisis Company, Margo left behind her own squad command to be the second to her Captain, Jet. Trusting in his judgement, Margo would follow him to hell and back, though for the first half of the war she largely follows him to a glorified guard posting for the republics embassy and shipping warehouses on Brentaal. She's a fine Leader and an even better Tech, though her specialties lay much closer to Mechanics than to Code-breaking. The only thing that tops her technical skills is her love of having a Fun Time. Body and Mind of a Super Soldier, personality of 'if a frat-boy was a girl'

Specialist Nihlus Brek - Ancient Sith Archivist and a loving Guardian of his squad with a Sadistic streak

After being shown selfless kindness by the Captains personal squad after the loss of his clan and his rough awakening from a forced stasis, with the 'permission' of the Jedi Council, Sith Lord Nihlus Brek now serves in the GAR under the command of Captain Jet, the only man who's orders he follows without hesitation or question, killing or healing as needed for the man he now calls 'Alor and Brother. Though it is true he holds love for his squad, the real secret of his unwavering loyalty is the Blood Oath he swore to Captain Jet, his orders now bound by sith alchemy, Nihlus has given his leader unwavering control over both their destinies.

Sergeant Cynic - Heavy Weapons Expert and Artist with an Attitude

Though an Urban Crisis Response unit doesn't particularly need a soldier who's second greatest passion in life is blowing things up with his rocket launcher, Cynic earn his place on the squad through the power of nepotism. That is, Margo's one condition for leaving her previous squad behind with little complaint, was that she got to bring her favorite brother with. Although his name may suggest otherwise, this pessimist (though he considers himself a 'realist') has a love for all things pretty and colorful, and quite the talent for copying it down in his small sketchbook, always making room for his small assortment of watercolors in his combat kit.

Corporal Lake - Spotter of the Squads Sharpshooter duo and self proclaimed Ethics Committee

Lake is likely the only one of the Captains squad that, once you get to know them, could be described as the republics ideal of a Good Soldier. That is, Lake is one of the few who spares even a second or third thought for the success of the mission and collateral casualties over the lives of his fellow squad mates. He is probably the only one who could say he would not give a thousand lives just to spare those he cares for. Nevertheless, although he has his own personal misgivings over the result of some of their missions, Lake is grateful for his life, for his family, and for the many chances he is given to fight another day. And, as always, his Captains word is Law.

Corporal Torch - Deadeye of the Squads Sharpshooter Duo and resident Troublemaker

"We're here for a fun time, not a long time!" Are common words for Torch to say before getting his ass beat for replacing Cynics fancy face lotion with space Nair or being put on 'Fresher duty for his ballsey yet comedic insubordination. Captain Jet often says the only thing that stops Torch from being demoted to maintenance duty altogether is his skill with a rifle, hitting targets your typical human would have needed the force to even perceive. Though in truth, Jet would not trade Torch's levity and loyalty for the galaxy itself. Torch and Lake are mirrors of one another, by choice, as it brings them great joy to be mistaken for one another by not only natural born humans, but also unfamiliar clones. As some of the last living soldiers from their original bloc of trained sharpshooting specialists, they refuse to be parted from one another, unable to bear the thought of losing the last of their batch.

Field Medic Heron - Resident Healer with a Big Secret

Heron tired of front line Medicine fairly quickly, as his zest for death did not hold up to losing his brothers one by one, upon joining the Urban Crisis Response Specialists of the 218th, his steadfast work and easy bedside manner landed him his place in the Captains squad rather easily, and he took rather well to glorified guard duty. That is, until the fateful day where an assassin droid hidden among their cargo took his leg, though in a feat of the butterfly effect, directly led to the squad meeting their Sith. His secret? On shore leave, Heron likes to kill people. In order to stay in line with both his own ideas of morality and his Captains idea's of ethics, not that Jet hears of his activities from the medic directly, he dresses in plainclothes and limps around, waiting for some unfortunate mugger to make their move. Heron craves the feeling of holding someone on the brink of life, having power over their fate, and then denying them the salvation they seek. And maybe sometimes he takes a bite or two, but that's his business.

Specialist Sprig - Explosive Ordinance Disposal Technician and Company Spymaster

Specialist Sprig, formerly of the 398th Ordinance Corps, got his name as a result of a growth tube malfunction in his infancy, leaving him 2 inches shorter than your average trooper. Despite this 'defect' as the Kaminoans would refer to it, Sprig would rank among the top of his batch with his skills in bomb diffusal, having a deft touch and a keen eye for detail. In a cruel and ironic twist of fate, Sprig's greatest fear is dying in an explosion, vaporization, desintigration, you name it. Reassignment to the 218th and his posting of glorified guard duty was a dream come true. Proton bombs vs backyard terrorists? Sprig knows exactly which he would take in an average day. With his keen eyes, sharp ears, and strong memory, Sprig also excels at information collection. His shorter stature and friendly demeanor is often very encouraging for those who have a burden they'd like to share, though one has to keep in mind, he has the ear of the Captain one short comm call away.

#star wars #star wars the clone wars #star wars ocs #clone trooper ocs #clone trooper #sith oc #crisis company tag #draw the squad #jet tag #margo tag #nihlus tag #nihlus brek #lake tag #torch tag #cynic tag #heron tag #sprig tag #my art

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mjjune · 8 months

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A Hot Take(?) on Critique/Beta Comments: Self-Determination Policy

Consider this a spin-off from my Beta Reading Series which you can find here. (you don't have to read them to follow this post, but if you like this post, you'll like the whole series.)

I was discussing this with a friend who works for a crisis center/hotline, and we ended up agreeing that their "Self-Determination Policy" was a similar mindset that we take when beta reading each other's work.

Since it goes along with most of what I said in my previous posts, I thought I would expand on it here. Again, this has my usual disclaimer: this is all personal experience/opinion.

content warning: there is mention of suicide below

Below:

What is Self-Determination?

Self-Determination in Beta Reading

What About Giving Advice?

What To Do Instead of Advice

Tips & Examples of Comments

TL;DR at the bottom !

What is Self-Determination?

Essentially, at hotlines and other crisis centers where volunteers or workers are taking calls from those who may be a threat to themselves or others, they have a rule that the caller is responsible for any decisions they make, even if that decision is to take their own life. These policies both acknowledge that the caller retains their right to make their own decisions, as well as protects the workers from potential lawsuits or accusations.

To paraphrase from an actual policy: workers are to explore the caller's feelings and build a relationship of trust so the caller can explore all options.

So that's what I want to talk about here! This policy is exactly how I approach beta reading, and it's also how I want my readers to approach beta reading my own work.

Self-Determination in Beta Reading

First, I want to clarify there is a difference between critique partners, alpha readers, and beta readers. All readers/writers may have different expectations for each type of reader. For me, this self-determination policy is perfect for beta readers, but would not necessarily be appropriate for critiques or alphas.

For more on this, see my posts on alphas vs. betas here, and on critique vs. betas here.

There are two main self-determination points that apply to beta reading:

We won't make decisions for you. We support the decision you make.

You are the expert [on your story]. Our advice or opinions are not important*

And this is exactly the mindset beta readers should approach a story with!

Many readers come at being betas with the mindset "I want to make this story as good as possible" and this is a great mindset, however we need to dig deeper if we want to have a good beta/writer relationship and actually make the story better.

And going deeper means betas acknowledging that the writer is the expert, the writer is the one making the decisions regarding the story, and that the readers should support those decisions no matter what. Yes, even if they disregard your comments. Yes, even if they change the story in a way you think is making it worse. Yes, even if you have more writing experience.

* I do want to clarify that obviously beta comments are important. But the point here is that in the grand scheme of things, the writer's opinion is the only one that matters, and what is important is all the betas' comments together, not yours individually.

Wait, Then Should I Not Give Advice?

Honestly? No.

Just like how the crisis hotline does not offer advice or solutions, beta readers shouldn't either.

However, there is a slight deviation from the self-determination policy that I want to make here:

In the crisis hotline, a worker would not give advice or solutions to the problem but would share resources for the caller to make solutions on their own. (This might be referring to a specialist or going to a hospital.)

However, they would ask before providing these resources. The same goes for beta readers.

Providing resources would depend on the writer. Some writers might welcome craft-based resources, and some writers would see it as offensive. (I know if I was on draft 4 and satisfied with my book and a beta sent me a link teaching show vs. tell, I would be pretty upset lol)

Beta readers are here to read and give comments, but this does not open the door for advice unless the writer has explicitly asked for it. If you're beta reading and giving any type of advice, whether it be how to fix a problem in the story, how to pitch/query/publish it, what changes should be made, etc — then you are breaking this self-determination policy and not truly being a beta reader. (instead, you are more resembling a critique partner)

So What Do I Do Instead of Advice?

Rather than advice or solutions, betas should be sharing reactions, ideas and analysis.

I know, the line between these and "advice" can be blurred. This might even come down to the way it's worded, and the way the writer interprets it.

"It might be interesting if you explored [x] more."

"I can't picture this scene, you need more description."

"I'm struggling to connect to this character."

"This character interaction directly parallels the one that happened earlier and it shows how the characters have changed."

"The first act is too slow. You should work on pacing."

Which of these are reactions? Which are ideas? Which are advice?

Some are clearer than others, and ultimately some people would probably disagree.

Personally, the only ones I would consider to be advice are 2 and 5. These go against the self-determination policy because they make the step from being about how the reader is experiencing the story, to how they would change it if it were theirs.

Because that's what this comes down to. The story belongs to the writer, not the beta.

Now this is a "do as I say not as I do" situation. As a beta, every book I read I do what I call my "two-page ramble" where I do analysis for 2-3 pages (literally) about the themes in the story what I would do if I were the writer. However, I preface it, saying that. I tell the writer ahead of time and even separate it from the rest of my comments so the writer doesn't even have to read it, if they don't want to. Some writers ignore it, and some say that even though it's not what they would do, it gave them ideas they hadn't otherwise considered.

And another caveat: some writers might be totally fine with readers giving advice! This is why it's important to have good communication between betas/writers. Before reading you should not only discuss what kind of feedback the writer is looking for, but also where the story is in its development, and what the writer hopes to achieve with the story.

Tips & Examples

The key to avoiding advice and sticking to analysis, reactions, and sharing general ideas really comes down to wording and the focus of the sentence. From my experience both with counseling and beta reading, I focus on these two things:

1. "I" statements

This keeps the focus of your comments to you and how you are experiencing the story. This helps stay away from "you should" type sentences, which are always leaning towards advice/solutions.

Examples:

I am struggling to follow this plot point

I don't feel connected to this character

I can't picture this scene

I was/wasn't expecting this to happen

I'm hooked/haven't put the book down in [x] chapters

I am losing focus/bored in this paragraph/scene

2. Open-ended questions

This comes straight from my counseling class as well as my friend who works at the crisis hotline. Open-ended questions typically start with "what" with the goal of getting the writer to think—analyze their own writing and story. If you want to be extra considerate, avoid "why" questions because these are often interpreted as offensive/attacking.

These questions essentially replace advice. Instead of saying "you should do [x]" these questions guide the writer to figuring out what to do on their own.

Because ultimately that should be the goal. Instead of "I want to help this writer make their story the best it can be" we should go further: "I want to help this writer figure out what they want to do with the story, to make it exactly the story they want to tell."

Essentially, if you feel like something is missing, or something needs work, instead of directly saying "this thing is bad, here's what you should do" you ask an open-ended question instead. If you feel like a character's interaction doesn't feel genuine, or you don't understand why a character is making a decision, you might ask "What is your character thinking in this scene?"

Another thing I personally do is combine these "I" statements and open-ended questions. This does two things: 1) pinpoints the exact feeling the reader is having/problem they see and 2) asks a question that will guide the writer to hopefully finding an answer

Combo Examples:

I don't see the point of this scene, and I'm bored. What was your intention for this scene before you wrote it?

I'm confused about this character. What influenced your character to make this decision?

I'm struggling to connect with this character. What does he want/what is his goal?

To show how these comments are better (and following self-determination), let's look at the first example.

If you are bored or don't see the point in a scene, you might be tempted to give advice and tell the writer to cut the scene entirely (or tell them what to change). However, this self-determination-based comment instead tells the writer that you are bored/disconnected (which is invaluable!) but instead of giving advice, asks a question that will hopefully lead the writer to analyzing the scene and figuring out what they want to do about it—because the truth is, the writer may choose to leave the scene as is, and that's fine. Cutting the scene might not make the story better. There are so many reasons a scene might feel slow or boring, and it's not the beta's job to fix it. It's the writer's.

TL;DR —

Self-Determination means that you do not make decisions for anyone other than yourself. This means regardless of what the writer decides to do with your comments, you support it. You do not know what is best for the story, or how to fix the problems it has.

The writer is the expert in their story. As a beta reader, you should approach with the mindset that you are here to share your reactions, ideas and analysis of their story so they can make it better.

Self-Determination means: No advice. No solutions. Engage, listen, ask questions, analyze, share reactions, and support the writer in whatever they choose.

(Unless the writer explicitly asks for it. This is why you should communicate beforehand!)

Peace out ✌️

~MJ

#writblr #writeblr #writeblr community #writing #writers of tumblr #writer community #beta reading #beta readers #mj talks about beta reading #mj mumbles #mj posts #self determination

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octavare · 2 months

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Who are you trusting to babysit your kids? (Hint: none)

Other than Cecil, the other three are Invincible ocs for a short fancomic I’m working on in which the four of them effectively prevent WW3. Some info below

VEIL (Vigilance, Espionage, Infiltration, Logistics) is the GDA’s primary special operations unit, responsible for covert and tactical military (and paramilitary) operations. Notably, the members of VEIL are mostly ordinary humans, but there are some exceptions.

Pictured here was a four man team sent in 1989 to deal with an international crisis in a mission code named Operation: Acid Rain. This was a top secret stealth mission that even many other VEIL agents were unaware of the existence of. Cecil is the lone infiltrator while the rest were on support.

From left to right, top to bottom:

Major Stan Chapman (Commanding officer of VEIL),

Cecil Stedman (Spy and special forces operator, stealth and infiltration specialist),

Dr. Cynthia Vance (Engineer and weapons/equipment/technology expert),

Dr. Glenn Eckert (Medical specialist and consultant on metahumans).

I will not disclose anything else for now to keep it spoiler free. Hehe

#mp talks #mp ocs #mp art #invincible #cecil stedman #invincible oc

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ukrfeminism · 6 months

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Women dealing with severe mental illness are still being jailed despite prisons being “ill-equipped” to offer suitable care, a major review has warned.

Many women and health providers view the prison environment as “unfit for purpose”, while six in 10 inmates said the “inconsistent” health and social care services across England’s 12 women’s prisons needed improvement, the long-awaited NHS and Prison Service review found.

Despite figures suggesting nearly 60 per cent of female offenders have experienced domestic abuse, the review warned of a “gap” in mental healthcare and specialist support for women who have experienced trauma, including sexual and domestic violence.

The review – which was due last March – is touted as involving potentially the largest-ever engagement of women with lived experience of prison, drawing on more than 2,250 responses from group discussions, one-to-one meetings, letters, postcards and drawings.

Its findings underscore heightened concerns around women’s prisons, after the number of self-harm incidents rose by 63 per cent to hit a grim new record of 20,248 in the 12 months to June – three times higher than a decade earlier – despite the number of women self-harming remaining relatively stable in recent years.

The “absolutely staggering” rise could reflect issues with understaffing and a lack of suitable training, HM chief inspector of prisons Charlie Taylor told The Independent last month, adding: “These are often the most vulnerable, very unwell women, some of whom should quite frankly be in secure hospital, not in prison.”

Experts have long highlighted that mentally unwell women are being imprisoned unnecessarily, with MPs warning last April that legislation handing courts the power to remand people in prison “for their own protection” should be repealed.

While the government’s draft Mental Health Bill proposed this, and introduced a requirement to remand people to hospital when the only ground is concern for mental health, Rishi Sunak did not include the Bill in the King’s Speech – leaving it off the parliamentary agenda for the year ahead.

“This is a missed opportunity to right a grave wrong, and means women as well as men in crisis will continue to be sent to prisons which are unfit and unequipped to meet their needs,” Prison Reform Trust chief executive Pia Sinha told The Independent.

The newly-published review also highlighted that women’s reception and early days in prison are often “traumatic, deeply distressing and bewildering”, especially for pregnant women and mothers separated from their children.

“I didn’t know where I was, I didn’t feel like I could ask, I felt completely away from everything,” one woman told the researchers. “When they told me, I didn’t have a clue, I couldn’t picture it, then I found out I was hours from home and it really hit me how far away from my kids I was.”

Only around half of women said their immediate healthcare needs were met during the first 24 hours in custody. Vital services are also often not gender-specific, researchers found, leaving further gaps in care for women.

“Not one person has spoken to me about incontinence, menopause, what are healthy bowel habits, my boobs,” said one woman, while another told researchers: “Managing your periods in prison can be a nightmare. Some women don’t even know the pill or coil can help. They just assume because they’re in prison, they aren’t entitled to this sort of help.”

Women with reduced mobility, who are neurodiverse and who are older appeared most disadvantaged by a poor environment in prisons, the revew found, with one woman saying: “You’ve got more chance getting around prison on a flying carpet than you have in a wheelchair.”

The report also highlighted that not all staff are trained in trauma-informed care, with one respondent quoted as saying: “‘There are so many mental health ladies and ladies with learning disabilities that should not be here.

“The prison is not a mental health hospital. Staff are not trained to deal with the complex needs, so those people do not get help to do anything or get what they need.”

Another said: “Officers don’t always get it, sometimes how they talk to us makes it worse. They need better training; they need to learn how to see it when a woman is in crisis.”

Meanwhile, in the 2019/20 year, some 45 per cent of women did not attend planned outpatient appointments, compared to 22 per cent in the general population – with “complex” reasons for this including there being no prison staff available to accompany them, according to the Nuffield Trust.

The Ministry of Justice has pledged to deliver on the report’s eight recommendations, and has earmarked £21m for a three-year delivery plan jointly led by the NHS, and Prison and Probation Service.

Urging an “ongoing multiagency commitment” to delivering the recommendations, the Prison Reform Trust warned that the review “cannot be reduced to yet another bureaucratic process”, adding: “Its success needs to be measured by the impact it has on improving the health and social care needs of women in custody.”

#articles #law #health

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elviola · 1 year

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When the clock rewinds, would you choose me?

(ii) THE CONFRONTATION

Jake Sully x Reader

Set after the Avatar (2009) film.

PLOT: Formerly Intern from RDA, now a specialist in the reopened avatar program of Dr. Grace Augustine, you see the man–turned na'vi, that was once almost yours.

NOTE: not proofread!!! idk if i should write more lol i want this to be the end hwhwhwa

PRESENT:

ONE

THE BREEZE IS COLD. Rubbing your palms together, you try to squint to see the flock of Tetrapteron flying above. After reconciling with Norm, you tried your Avatar out. It felt like the past when you went in the pod, memories flooding through your head. Now you were walking through the greenery, stopping at a river nearby. You watch the Dinicthoid battle amongst each other, fighting for food to feast on.

Suddenly, you hear a branch crack behind, "Norm? I'm here, is Max finding us?" You croak out, yet no response makes you uneasy. A prey in its vulnerable state is an easy target for a predator. You clutch your dagger, getting ready to defend yourself when a giggle comes out from the other side. "Norm? Aysupe fula?" (Norm, what is that?)

It's a kid's voice, ears peeking through the bush. You knew the Na'vi language so it was easy for you to reply as if it were English. "I am sorry, I mistook you for someone. I am no harm." And so he shows himself, a short Na'vi boy. His braids were pulled into a ponytail and he had a handmade small wooden bow in his right hand. You notice then that he had 5 fingers when they had only four. "You're watching them too? They're funny sometimes, my older brother caught one before." You nod in awe, he's different. Eyebrows adorning his features, you ask his name, "It's Lo'ak, I shouldn't be saying it. I'll get scolded by my father—" You step forward, "What's his name?" He walks backward, spooked by the sudden change in demeanor.

"Jake Sully."

You can't process the information after Lo'ak runs off explaining he'll get in trouble. On your way back, you still in the middle of the forest, that old feeling creeping up your veins once again. Jake has a family, Jake has sons,

Jake has someone. Jake has Neytiri.

It explodes inside you like a bomb, the remnants spreading like a disease, and it's sought out to break your heart once again. You haven't moved on, not entirely when you heard his name and you want to go back to Earth and suffer the fate jealousy had brought you. You don't know what you're bitter about. That Jake has a family or that Jake has a family and it isn't with you.

You swore not to take that path for the next few days.

But Eywa is the one who chooses fate, so you meet him once again.

TWO

"______, get me the floral eucalyptus. Two of it, will you?" You grunt in annoyance. Laying at your stomach, you want to sleep the whole day instead. "If you don't get your ass up, I'll hide her." Your ass was, indeed, going to places. Swiftly linking with your Avatar, you go out to complete the task. Desperate to go back to bed.

As you head back to the lab, your elbow gets snatched by a hand. Max's basket dropped and things spilled. Grip as tight as a lock, you swish your dagger up its throat. Angry that your ears flatten on your head, everything you worked hard for was all on the ground. Dirtied and mixed.

"Who are you to—" His smile still makes your stomach jump backflips.

"______, where'd you leave off to?" His voice makes your knees weak.

His fingers tucking your braid behind your ear, you were sure you could count how much your heartbeat.

THE NOT SO CRISIS:

You're both walking to the village, the first time in 5 years to ever see it again. The tension is thick, not even the sharpest blade could cut through it, and you hope to strike up a conversation until your chances to were blocked.

"Ma' Jake. Have you seen Lo'ak? That boy will be the death of me, he does not stop wandering." Neytiri asks as she walks towards him. Jake clears his throat and gestures to you, " 'Tiri, this is an old friend, ____." You place a handout and she shakes it.

Disgusted, you're thinking of chopping it off.

Hours go by and nothing sounds sweeter than accidentally tripping over a rock and bumping your head. Jake is telling his stories to you as his kids play around the campfire. Neytiri sitting with their only daughter, placing feathers as she braids her hair. "Neteyam is my oldest, the next Olo'eyktan, the mighty warrior!" Jake shouts as he pulls the boy into a crushing hug, him smiling through the pressure. "Don't push yourself too much, Neteyam." You say as he nods enthusiastically in response.

"Lo'ak is stubborn but is strong-hearted." The 2nd boy scratched his neck in embarrassment. "Stubbornness comes use in many ways." You try to lighten the mood up and he smiles at you. You take notice he got his charm from his father.

You reason you can't spend the night with them, heart struggling to keep its pieces from scattering. That the tape holding them isn't enough, that going back on Earth for 5 years isn't enough.

It isn't enough to forget him. But you try to.

THE RESOLUTION:

"______, please!! I'll show you my rock collection! I use them to get the fruits off the tall trees!" Your heart strengthens, the face of Lo'ak lighting up when you fall for his rambling. Neteyam rolls his eyes in disagreement, and Jake watches afar. His eyes watch your form disappear from the bushes as you follow Lo'ak. He remembers your times before and an unrecognizable feeling paints his skin. He still doesn't know why you left, he'll ask you later. Do you still like yogurt? Do you still make awful jokes? Do you have a lover? Do you have a family?

“Jake? Jake!” He snaps out of it. "Neytiri, I'm sorry." He apologizes with his hands holding hers, kissing the top of her knuckles, she blushes. "I have prepared the hammock for ____, call her for I can tell the boy to not tire her so much!"

Jake follows the footsteps, slowly hearing the laughter coming from the riverside. He sees Lo'ak first, crouching to the creatures swimming. Then he sees you, trying to stop Lo'ak from throwing the fish out the water. "Lo'ak, go to your mother. She needs your help." The boy looks to his father with doubt, that he knows the first one they call is Neteyam. When Jake nods him off, he leaves.

Jake slowly approaches you, the crumble of rocks alerting you. The sun is starting to set and the birds are leaving to rest. You glance behind, stunned that he was near your face. That you almost kissed his nose, you walk backward. Yet Jake thinks otherwise, pulling you in even closer, "Why did you leave, ____?" He rants. "When I needed my friend at my lowest, where did she go?"

THE PROBLEM:

You expected a greeting from him but instead you nearly lose it from the sudden outburst. Head drumming with smoke, your ears flatten at your head, "You have no right to shout at me." You step away, trying to calm the situation. Jake moves to your face, "You had no right to leave. I was at war with you by my side and I see you suddenly gone? You saw me through thick and thin!"

"Oh. So when I tried to talk to you and you gave me no response. That was companionship, that was friendship? You treated me as if we don't spend our time together attached by the hip!" You argue, pushing his shoulders out of frustration. His eyes widen with angst and yours threaten to drip small tears. Jake dares to ask, "What do you mean? I was about to show you my achievement, that I learned the ways of the forest because of you. All of this is because of you!" You point back with an accusing finger at his chest,

"Then why are you with her?" A pregnant pause envelops the air. The cold breeze comes back and freezes your hands. "You left first. "

"And when you were in the process of doing it, I was always by your side."

Jake's gaze stretched out behind, thinking of what you said. His ringing ears makes it worse to rack his head to say something, to say anything to not let you go right now. To tell you everything he feels. He finds nothing when he swallows the words down.

Its become his habit, when he doesn't say anything when you pour out your everything. So you leave with disappointment carved on your face.

You leave him once again.

He messed up. He was supposed to know why you left 5 years ago, that when the war finished. He was yearning to find you to meet Neytiri. To meet, formally, the Omatikaya people. So when Norm said you left, his heart felt too heavy to not fall.

Jake focused on his new life, his new relationships. With Neytiri, with the forest, and with Eywa giving him the opportunity. He became Olo'eyktan, he became the hero everybody looked up to. He was watched by everyone, that every single moved he made was judged by the stares of the elders. By the stares of the People that believed in him. He thought of his duties that had to be done, the heavy weight he was carrying for their clan.

All of that didn't remove his thoughts of you. He still thought of you every single day and night.

He was a coward to his feelings for you.

He looks down to see the woven leaf craft of a Dinicthoid you and Lo'ak made. Picking it up as he walks back to the hut. Not realizing it had been hours when Neytiri appeared, the dark sky settled in and the stars twinkled in the sky. "Jake, where is ____? Had she went to sleep? I did not see her pass by." He looks softly at Neytiri, the woman he mated with. The woman he swore his life with. He doesn't want to hurt her. He doesn't want to hurt the both of you.

So he lies.

THE RESOLUTION LOSS:

He tried to understand, glue the pieces together on why you left. He concluded with only confusion setting in his mind. Today's meeting gave him an unexpected answer,

You liked him? Did you love him?

The lingering stares, the gentle touches. Did you really reciprocate his feelings?

Did you see him before?

Jake's heart shatters, guilty that he didn't wait for you. As how you waited for him.

You push the pod open, panting out of exhaustion. Norm rushes into the room, checking your vitals. "Didn't know you were coming back when you met Jake. When will you see him again?" You stand up, heading straight to the shower.

"I'll never see him again."

Weeks turn into months of not being able to see you. Jake grows stressed, he tries to capture your shadows whenever you run off but when he arrives. All that's left are your footprints.

You've studied the paths he takes. Mastering the skill of a fox, you take an alternative route one day. Not wanting to put up with him anymore.

One day, after collecting knick knacks and flowers for your bracelet, you walk back to the lab, spotting the river where two Na'vi forms sit. You go near, knowing who they might be, you should have sprinted off. Your body says otherwise, locked on the ground. Your leg numbing from the pressure of squating down, you listen, "____ has not been around for days, what had happened?" She asks, "I want to tell her all sorts of things. I want to tell her everything I feel." He replies, sighing. "It had been long since I've seen her. She was–" Your leg quitting the ability to squat, you miss the word he was about to say, standing by the tree instead. Neytiri laughs, "You have a strong heart, Jake. Courageous and Brave. Nothing will go wrong if you do." He grins, Neytiri's head resting on his shoulder. "You've done it before."

You walk away.

THE CLIMAX:

Jake sees you picking fruits from trees. Taking the chance to talk to you, he calls out your name.

You run off. He panics and goes after you.

You try to get rid of him, swerving from left to right, and hiding behind the tall flowers sprouting from its shrubs. You pull your tail in, anxious to get caught from it. It's early in the morning, he probably studied you too. It's silent for a moment and all you can hear are the chirping of the birds.

Tranquility ends with you getting pinned to the bark of the tree, you hiss at the perpetrator. "____! Stop! It's me." Jake's face full of worry, "Get off of me." You demand, pulling him off you. Jake weakens his hold but was still strong enough to not let you go. "Listen to me, please. For once?" Your eyebrows furrow at his words, for the first time in years, you would never imagine he would say those words. You believe him for now as he steps away from you.

"I want to apologize. I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything. That I shouted at you, that I didn't tell you the truth. That I was the one who left first and I was too blind to notice it."

"I see you, ____. I haven't before but I do now."

That was the last straw of your patience, "You cannot do this to me. Jake, you have a family. You do not see me, but you see what could have been for us!" You express the hurt in your heart. His face going through his emotions all at once.

"You are unfair and cruel." Shaking your head down, the river beneath your eyes break out. "I don't deserve this, Jake.

I shouldn't have met you before." And If you knew heartbreak would come with him, then you wouldn't have thought to sit beside him at your very first meeting. Shouldn't have waited for him during lunch breaks, and shouldn't have let him in that deep in your skin.

Jake is as fragile as you are, the second he hears you speak the hurt in your heart. He breaks. All his training and hardships he did as Olo'eyktan weren't enough to keep him steady right now. He feels like a boat that lost it's anchor to an angry storm. Jake bonding with Neytiri and forming a family with her wasn't enough.

At the end he still wanted you.

THE END:

Wise men say that the things you want the most are the things you cannot have.

Jake cannot have you.

So you anguish at the fairytale story of the both of you and you know it can never happen. You'll stop wishing for it,

And you'll stop loving him. Completely.

#avatar 2009 x reader #jake sully x you #jake sully x reader #jake sully #jake sully avatar #avatar the way of water

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bigfrozenfan-fanfics · 2 months

Text

Chapter 76 - Kristoff at the Royal Navy base

Links: Chapter overview, Character list, Map, Glossar Rating: M over all Publishing cycle: around every 2-3 weeks

Remarks: all my chapters contain carefully selected music tracks (try to use headphones). It’s your own decision if you want to use them or not while reading. The purpose is to musically support the respective mood of the plot. If you can please use a browser for reading (not the Tumblr app) due to the text formatting and music.

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Eriksen and Kristoff talked for more than an hour as they looked around the fortress inside. Kristoff was also taken to the very top of the roof, where he had a good view of the whole area. Kristoff had never been to the naval base before and was quite impressed by everything here. Eriksen promised to take him round the small peninsula later and show him everything, including the shipyard. However, there was one exception, as Eriksen said, because Kristoff was not allowed to enter the prison camp. But that didn't bother him, as he wasn't interested in seeing Arendelle's criminals.

A little later, they returned downstairs and into the admiral's large office. Kristoff couldn't help but take a look around. The walls were piled high with books on nautical science, shipbuilding and reports on other countries and kingdoms. Many pictures about the sea, ships and foreign islands hung on the walls and, of course, certificates of the admiral’s achievements, including a captain's licence. All bearing the seal of the royal house of Arendelle and even signed by King Agnarr, as Kristoff noted.

“So, what is the reason for your presence on the base?” asked Eriksen, watching him from his armchair.

Kristoff sat down opposite him in another chair and rambled on a little. He talked about the queen's plan to form a new royal council and that the Baron of Snoob had tipped him off to include the naval base in his search.

“I don't know if you can help me there, Admiral Eriksen. But it seems to me that matters concerning the Royal Navy should be represented on the council. After all, two ships are currently on their way to allied kingdoms on behalf of the queen to help us out of the supply crisis and ask for support there.”

“Yes, I am of course aware of this assignment and have known the two captains personally for many years. They are good men and ideally suited for such an important mission,” replied Eriksen, “However, we hardly have any potential candidates for the royal council here at the naval base. Most of the sailors work as specialists in the shipyard, are in captain's training or other important positions for our fleet, or are simply ship's crews. The rest are guards or are busy with the prison camp and of course those who are only responsible for supplies and everything that goes with it, so they don't have much nautical experience.” He paused for a moment and thought.

“Our base is actually set up like a small town where everyone does normal jobs. We have blacksmiths, rope and sail makers, bakers, butchers, the laundry, various craftsmen and of course everything else that goes with nautical and ship supplies. The only people I can think of for the council are our veterans, who are now retired and have gained a lot of experience in their lives. I will of course think carefully about your request and talk to them. However, not everyone is likely to be interested and want to change their lives so drastically. Quite apart from the fact that the families here or over there also live in Snoob, especially the children who can only attend school there. That affects most of us here on the peninsula, by the way.”

“I can understand that very well,” said Kristoff. “It was just an idea and not binding. The queen selects the most suitable men and women from all the candidates from across the kingdom after they have personally auditioned.”

Eriksen nodded. “Very well, may I offer you some refreshments before we go to the shipyard?”

“No, thank you, admiral. But I have another request and Her Majesty doesn't know anything about it yet. It is to be a surprise for her and it would be my personal decision to take care of it. It's also a somewhat sensitive issue for a reason.”

“Well, that depends on whether I can help you. What is it about?”

“I wanted to ask if I could get passage on a ship to Weselton.”

The Admiral raised his eyebrows and placed his index fingers against each other in front of his mouth with a thoughtful expression, tapped them against his lips a few times and mumbled a quiet “Hmm…”.

“Weselton … I assume it's about the same problem, the supply of food and animal feed in the capital, right?” Kristoff nodded. “Well, Weselton isn't too big an island and they import more than they have to offer. Except wool and sheep, as far as I know, and fine cloth, which they sell at a premium. I once had the dubious pleasure of meeting the Duke there many years ago. Do you know him?”

Kristoff cradled his head. "I met him once years ago, at one of Arendelle's sled races where he cheated. Other than that, not in person, no, but I know the stories about him and why trade with this kingdom was stopped a few years ago … because of that Duke. He must have been quite out of line back then and also had a very …”

“… greedy and unfriendly behaviour? Yes, that suits this little chap. However, his nephew Lord Rupert Wolfgang is much more sociable and even quite helpful, the complete opposite of the old Duke. However, his behaviour takes some getting used to, not to say annoying. It seems to run in the family.” Eriksen laughed softly. “But still, if you're going to get in touch with anyone there, you'd better do it with him.”

“That's interesting, I didn't know that. Thank you very much for this valuable information!” said Kristoff in surprise. “But, the passage … can you help me with that? However, Sven, my reindeer, and my carriage would also have to be on board, if possible, as I plan to disembark directly in Arendelles harbour on the return journey.”

“Normally, we don't offer ship journeys for strangers, no matter how much they would be prepared to pay, but that doesn't apply to you, Your Highness, of course. I think I already have the right ship in mind for you and also for your luggage, so to speak,” he smiled.

~~~

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After Mattias knocked on Halima's front door and she opened it for him, she fell into his arms with tears of joy in her eyes. It was still broad daylight in Arendelle, but next they both disappeared into the bedroom, tore off their clothes and made love, tenderly and intimately, as if it were the first time for both of them. They were able to take their time, as Elin was still at the castle and had her usual lessons with Olaf. Halima wasn't due to pick her up again until the afternoon and had been working in her room in the meantime. Until her beloved Destin suddenly appeared at the door.

A little later, she prepared lunch for them both. Nothing special and consisting mainly of leftovers that were still in the kitchen and the icebox on the floor and, of course, a few fresh ingredients from the garden. But that didn't matter to either of them, because they were finally together again and had a lot to talk about. But Mattias avoided going into detail about some of the things he had seen and experienced, as he didn't want to frighten Halima.

“I'm so glad that nothing happened to you, Destin, and that you didn't suffer any more serious injuries. There's no bandage and not even a scratch to be seen.”

“I was very lucky, to be honest. A lot of men have had a very different experience. We've had so many losses, Halima, but I'd rather not talk about it right now.” He sighed and grabbed her hand on the table.

“I saw the grief in the city and also saw the many wounded in the new hospital. I wanted to help in some way. The queen even gave a moving speech at the memorial service. But I can't and don't want to imagine it all and I was most afraid for you all the time, darling. Thank you for this beautiful but really sad letter, by the way.”

“You cried a lot, didn't you?” She nodded and put her other hand over his. “I was afraid of that, but I was also afraid to tell you everything in person.”

“It's all over now and you've come back to us safe and sound.”

“Let's just stop talking about it, Halima, and think about the good things instead. You said that you carried on upstairs in Elin's room. I'd like to take a look at that.”

“I'd love to, Destin. Let's go upstairs now. I also got her something to paint and hung up some pictures. I hope she likes it. I just finished it earlier and we could pick her up together later and then go out for dinner for the three of us, what do you say?”

“Sounds good. She's never been to dinner with us before, so it could be a bit of an adventure for her.”

“Oh yes, you're right, Destin,” she replied as she slowly climbed the stairs and he followed.

The room was now tidy and very clean, the windows had also been cleaned and it no longer smelled as stale as before. There was no more dust in the air and a fresh, cool breeze blew in through the open windows. Elin's bed now even had a canopy over it and her doll, which Mattias had got for her, was lying directly on her pillow.

A few picture books were piled up on a small round table with a low chair in front of it, as well as colouring materials next to a small easel that Halima had used herself many years ago. She had only had to replace the paint because the old pots had dried up long ago. Halima had hung the pictures she had painted and some photographs on a few more hooks on the sloping roof walls. All in all, the room now radiated warmth and cosiness.

“I'm impressed, dear, you've done everything really beautifully. Elin will be thrilled, I'm sure of it.”

“You know, Destin, I've been thinking about her a lot. Since she's been with us and Olaf has been teaching her to read and write in the castle, and she's even been allowed to meet the queen in person, she's changed a lot. She is no longer as shy as she used to be in the orphanage. Quite the opposite. She has opened up a lot and doesn't even seem to think about her bad past anymore.”

“Have you ever heard her cry at night? You don't forget memories like that so quickly and who knows, maybe she dreams about it at night and just doesn't want to show us or doesn't dare to talk about it.”

“Maybe, but I haven't heard anything like that yet, not even in the castle. Maybe she's banished it all to her innermost depths, who can say. But I think she's ready and …”

“… can go to school and get to know lots of strange children around her?”

“Yes, Destin, that's right. You took the words right out of my mouth. She is friendly to everyone she meets without fear, is curious and eager to learn. She wants to learn, Destin, and she's good at it. Elin has a really good grasp of things and understands many things more quickly than other children her age. I think interacting with children she doesn't know is the next important step for her, because she still needs to learn that too, and she's also getting to know the other children's games, which is also very important.”

“Yes, you're certainly right, dear. I just hope the other kids won't tease her too much.”

“It'll be fine, Destin. Besides, we can't look after her all day and Elin can't be in and out of the royal castle all the time. You'll be busy at the council and with other things during the day and I need to get back to work at Hudson's Hearth. She'll be studying at school and won't be able to be with a magical snowman all the time. Instead, she'll make new friends of her age and play and learn with them.”

“Then let's go to the orphanage first thing in the morning and sign the contract with Liv for the adoption. And tonight, after dinner, we'll ask Elin very carefully what she thinks about the idea of officially going to a school.”

“But first, and before we pick up Elin, I have something to show you that I'm sure will make you happy. Do you remember a few days ago when I was looking through all the old pictures up here in the corner? I found a very old one and you asked me what surprised me so much.” Mattias nodded.

“What is it?”

“Follow me.”

Halima walked down the stairs with Mattias right behind her and bent down under the slope beneath the steps. She then pulled out a large framed picture and held it out for Mattias to see, smiling. He widened his eyes in sudden recognition and took the frame from her hands.

“Let's go outside in the garden, it's brighter there than here and the colours on the oil painting will shine much brighter.”

Halima was right, because as they stood outside in the afternoon sun, the painting suddenly seemed much more vivid to Mattias. It showed him in his new uniform as a newly appointed lieutenant with the great task of looking after the king's young son, the future King Agnarr. Next to him stood a young Halima, slim, with long brown hair and, in his eyes, simply beautiful. He himself had short black curly hair and no beard at all. He radiated strength and confidence in the picture, with one hand on Halima's shoulder, while they both smiled proudly and happily at the viewer.

“Oh, Halima, that you still have this old picture of the two of us is a real treasure! Thank you so much. Look how young we were back then and the look on your face … I have no words … you were the most beautiful girl in all of Arendelle for me back then … and you still are …”

He gave her a kiss on the lips and she hugged him as they both looked at the painting together.

Mattias couldn't take his eyes off the picture and as he ran his finger over the painted face of his beloved, a tear of joy rolled down his cheek. Halima noticed immediately and cuddled up close to him so that they could reminisce together about a time when they were still freshly in love and making big plans.

~~~

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Master Fabian was still pondering as he unlocked the front door of his fencing school and flat. The first thing he did was make himself a herbal tea in the kitchen and sit down at the large table in the fencing room, whose windows afforded a good view of the harbour and the castle. It had been a terrible few days and he had almost been too late to defend Anna, the queen, when Thord attacked her. It had been very close. He reviewed it all again when he could finally sit in peace and sip his steaming cup of tea.

He had not even had one day to rest from the stress of the previous days when now the Queen was sending him to Corona, of all places. A kingdom to which he never intended to return; he mused.

It was, of course, a beautiful land and kingdom, after all, he had grown up and spent his childhood there. He later learnt to master the art of fencing and even went travelling at a young age to perfect his skills. He had also heard about another brotherhood and wanted to know more about it.

He was or had to be a member of the one from Corona, of course, as everyone who wanted to become a fencing master did, but the two brotherhoods had always been in rivalry, as he soon realised. There were always competitions to prove that one followed the better doctrine and ultimately this also led to unauthorised duels between a few hotheads. He had always stayed out of it and strictly followed the code. But when his father was unintentionally involved in one of these duels one day, he couldn't help but stand by his side.

His father had always been his great role model and since Fabian's mother had died of a serious illness, his father was all the family he had left. He was ultimately the one who taught him how to use a sword, dagger and battle staff in the years that followed. He taught him to be able to defend himself and stand on his own two feet, to believe in himself and to always adhere to the code of the aspiring fencing masters once he had joined the brotherhood. And one day his father brought Fabian in and he actually passed all the exams with flying colours. His father was very proud of him and it was a dream come true for Fabian. He was officially made a fencing master.

Until the day his father faced three good fencers from the other brotherhood at dusk to avenge one of his friends who had been stabbed in a duel that day. Fabian had to watch everything from a distance because his father had forbidden him to interfere, so he rushed to his father's aid because his life was in danger. But he was only moments too late and a sword had pierced his father's heart.

Fabian was beside himself with grief and anger as he knelt next to him and clutched him with tears in his eyes. Then Fabian forgot all his resolutions and the code, jumped up, drew his sword and attacked himself just as the other three were about to make their escape.

It was a fierce fight, in which he immediately killed one of them and seriously wounded the one who killed his father. However, the remaining man inflicted a deep cut on Fabian's leg so that he could no longer walk properly and made off with the wounded man.

In the end, the brotherhood in Corona realised everything and expelled Fabian from the community, even threatening him with imprisonment. Fabian therefore drew a line, took all the family's savings and the best weapons, booked himself a ship passage with a destination far away from Corona and finally landed in Arendelle. That was decades ago now and the fencing master sighed before draining his cup and heading upstairs to pack for the journey.

The ARN Voyager would set sail from the naval base in the early hours of the next morning and dock in Corona a few days later. So he didn't have too much time left to get there on one of the small sailing ships in the harbour.

He was already standing at the stairs when there was a knock at the front door. Who could it be, Fabian asked himself and opened the door. Standing in front of him was one of the soldiers who had been with the troop that had killed Karrál's sub-leader.

“Master Fabian, hello, I apologise for turning up unexpectedly and disturbing you,” he began, a nervous, almost hurried expression on his face as he looked behind him and around. Almost as if he was checking that no one had followed him.

Fabian didn't miss this and interpreted it correctly, as he would soon realise. So he quickly invited him in.

“Come in, soldier. I don't have much time, though, because I'm currently preparing for my journey.”

Once the door was closed, the man got straight to the point. “I … er … I mean, there's something I can't deal with, something that happened in the forest in the north and that's been on my mind ever since. I'm afraid that someone even followed me up here because of it, because on the Crocus I stayed apart from those people, especially one of them, and maybe even behaved suspiciously.”

“Come to the table in the fencing room and tell me about it. I can guess what it's all about and you needn't be afraid.”

“Thank you, Master.”

Shortly afterwards, the soldier told the whole story as he had experienced it. Fabian quickly realised that he had credibly not taken part in the actions and had even been threatened not to tell a soul when it was all over. The soldier fumbled around and visibly struggled to name the person responsible.

“You know that this man committed a war crime and must be held accountable for it, and maybe others who had no problem helping him. No single person could commit such an offence. You must tell me the names, it's your duty, soldier!

It took a while, but finally he came clean and named two more names in addition to the main culprit.

“Am I now also being charged because I stood by and didn't do anything about it? I mean, I stood up to it as best I could, but there were five of us in the unit. I was very scared and could only watch what they were doing. Only one of us stood a little apart like me and when we looked at each other in shock … it was cruel …”

“I'll keep you out of it as much as I can, but you'll have to make a statement because you're the only witness who had the courage to tell me the truth. But don't be afraid.”

The soldier breathed a sigh of relief and sighed so loudly that you could literally hear the stone fall from his heart that had been weighing him down so heavily. Fabian put a hand on his shoulder to reassure him.

“I'll inform General Mattias. He'll organise everything else while I'm out of the country. Do you have somewhere to hide until the trial?”

“Yes, I have.”

Fabian then learnt the location and would pass this information on to Mattias with all the other details before boarding. He dismissed the soldier, looked after him for a few more moments and finally picked up where he had left off a good hour ago.

~~~

Anna was working on drafts for this year's town competitions when there was a brief knock and Elsa entered.

“You're back so quickly,” she greeted her sister.

“Quickly? Have you looked at the clock? It's almost three.”

“Really now? Time has flown by.”

Elsa stood behind her and looked over her shoulder. “What are you doing right now? Looks like a lot of fun.”

“That's what it is. I'm working on the new competitions for the end of the year, before Christmas.”

“We've been through this before,” Elsa said, tapping the paper that said 'ice carving'.

“It's obvious that you're the first to notice, isn't it? There will be stricter rules this time and people with ice magic won't be allowed to take part or help others.” She looked up at Elsa and grinned mischievously.

“You just don't want to let me win again, sis. But that's all right, as long as our citizens and the children have fun.”

“How did it go up on the cliff?”

“I think Yelana's a bit disappointed.”

“What, why is that?”

“Because she can't accompany the master builders back to camp on a big ship, only on one of the little one-masted sailboats.” Elsa grinned.

Both sisters laughed out loud.

“Well, who would have thought that a Northuldra, and their old leader on top of that, would take so much pleasure in travelling by ship.”

“That's true. Besides, she hasn't got a bit seasick yet and that's saying something. What are your plans for today, sis? Are there any important documents waiting for you?”

Anna shook her head, “Nope, just writing the letter for Mari, then I've got the rest of the day.”

“And that rarely happens when you're Queen of all Arendelle, believe me.”

“I know, Elsa, I realised that this afternoon and my head was spinning afterwards because I had to hurry so much. The text for the Sunday paper only went to the printers shortly after we returned. I finished it while you were away with Yelana. So the paper should have been out everywhere about three hours ago and that's really late this time. So I've told the printers to make it a late edition.”

“A late edition? Interesting choice of words and I've never heard of such a thing. But it's very aptly worded and who knows, you might even have made history as the first queen to invent a late edition for a newspaper.”

Anna had to laugh. “Thank you, Elsa, it just came to me.”

“So you could apply our conversation's ideas from a few days ago just in time, that's good. I hope the citizens also use our ideas and go out into nature, fishing or hunting.”

“I hope so too. I almost didn't think about it either, with all the events since then. But everything is fine now and I hope Kristoff and Kai in Snoob are too. I wonder what my darling is up to at the moment,” mused Anna, looking through the open window into the grey cloudy sky.

~~~

Eriksen had not promised too much, the shipyard was impressive and much larger than he had imagined. At the moment there was the bare hull of a two-masted brigantine or schooner brig, as the commander explained. Dozens of carpenters and sailors were working on it and Kristoff watched them with interest for a while. After all, it wasn't something you saw every day.

“This type of ship is particularly well suited to rough seas and can sail higher into the wind than a normal brig thanks to its design. Incidentally, this is exactly the type of ship you'll be sailing to Weselton in. Come on, I'll show you,” said Eriksen, making an inviting gesture towards the southern harbour bay, where many masts could already be seen swaying in the gentle swell from a distance.

It was a beautiful ship, Kristoff thought, when he saw it in its finished and seaworthy condition. It wasn't too big, but there was enough space in the hold, as the commander confirmed when he asked.

“The Draba can set sail tomorrow morning. Unfortunately, it's a bit late to prepare everything for today. If you wish, you can take a hot bath this evening and I assume you will dine with me later, Your Highness?”

“It would be a great pleasure, Admiral Eriksen, thank you very much for the impressive tour today and all the amenities. I'm already looking forward to travelling on the Draba tomorrow. Doesn't the name come from this little rock flower?”

“Well recognised, Your Highness, you know your botany?”

“Not exactly, but I … used to travel a lot in the mountains above the snow line, these flowers like the cold there and bare rocky crags.”

~~~

Fabian met Mattias just as he was about to enter the castle with Halima.

“Hello, Lady Halima,” he greeted her first with a skilful bow and she returned the gallant greeting with a smile.

“General Mattias, a word, please,” he then said with a serious expression on his face.

“Hello, Fabian. Is it important? We were just about to pick up Elin and take her to a restaurant for dinner later.”

“Yes, unfortunately it is and I only have a little time because I'm on my way to Corona and have to catch the sailor to the naval base later.”

“Oh, that's right. Halima, why don't you go upstairs to Elin, I'll be right behind you.”

Mattias grabbed Fabian by the shoulder and pulled him aside a little. “So, what's up, my friend?”

Fabian told him in abbreviated form what he had learnt from the soldier and Matthias' face brightened noticeably.

“That's very good news and exactly what we were hoping for, that one of the soldiers would give in and come clean after all, without any lengthy questioning or threats. Can you make a note of the most important things in the guardroom?”

“Already done, I wrote it down at home.” Fabian pulled out a small sealed envelope and handed it to the general.

“Thank you, Fabian. I'll take care of it first thing in the morning. But for now, let me wish you a safe and successful journey. Please take good care of yourself in Corona and don't make any unnecessary detours.”

“I will, Destin. I promise.”

They sealed it with a handshake and a short but strong hug before Fabian turned and headed for the harbour. He had already put his luggage on the boat, so he didn't have to worry about anything else.

~~~

When the mounted messenger was on his way to Vesterland to deliver Anna's letter to Princess Mari, the sisters went to the dining hall to eat their evening meal. Olaf was also there and although he never had to eat, he really enjoyed the company of the sisters and always enjoyed listening to their conversations. However, they weren't very talkative tonight and Olaf had the impression that something was on Elsa's mind.

“So, Olaf? What have you been up to today?” asked Anna.

“Read books with little Elin.” Now the snowman was in his element, forgetting his thoughts from a moment ago and talking about Elin's learning successes and how much fun they both always had. “But Halima and Mattias picked her up a while ago because they wanted to take her to a restaurant and told me they had a little surprise for her too. I wonder what that could be. Maybe more books? Or …”

As Olaf continued to rattle on, the sisters looked at each other knowingly, as they already suspected what it must be about.

“…I love restaurants, can we go there sometime? What is that actually?”

“Oh, Olaf,” said Anna, “you say that so often, even though you don't even know what you love. When you love something, you really like it because you already know it well and you like it so much. You can only eat something in a restaurant, just like here, only with strangers at different tables. Besides, you don't have to eat anything, Olaf.”

“People or families go to a tavern or restaurant together because they want to treat themselves to something special, or because they like to be served in a particularly nice way,” Elsa added.

“Or lovers who want to spend a particularly nice evening together, Olaf.”

“As they say, Anna, the way to the heart is through the stomach.”

They both laughed, but Olaf didn't understand what they were talking about. He didn't recognise a joke either, so he could only look at them both questioningly.

When the sisters saw his face, they laughed even harder, but Olaf didn't like it at all, because this time he had clearly realised that he was the reason.

When Anna was able to catch her breath, she apologised to him. “I'm sorry, Olaf, but seeing the look on your face was just so funny. I didn't mean any offence, honestly.”

“It's all right, Anna.”

“I guess there are few things you don't love, Olaf, are there?” said Elsa, still with a smile on her face.

“There is one thing I don't like and certainly don't love,” he replied, making a sad face.

“And what would that be,” Anna asked in a serious tone and looked at her sister, who was now looking at Olaf just as seriously.

“If you both had to go to war again.”

Any hint of laughter died away and the sisters nodded as they both put their hands on his shoulders.

“We never want that again, Olaf,” Elsa said quietly.

~~~

It was already quite dark when the three of them walked along the mountain road with Elin in the middle and headed towards the building with the brightly lit windows. The little girl was already very excited and held Halima's and Mattias' warm hands tightly in hers. She had never been invited anywhere just for dinner, where probably only the very posh people ate, she imagined. She wondered if her new parents were rich and a very brief thought of her dark past flashed through her mind as she felt a sense of loneliness, poverty and hunger before quickly brushing it aside. Today was going to be a special day, without images from the past in her head that occasionally popped up in her dreams at night. Elin nodded resolutely. She now had a whole new life and felt happy.

”They should actually put lanterns up here,” said Mattias, “if the moon isn't shining, you can hardly see the way.”

“Why don't you tell the queen, you have a special connection to her,” replied Halima. “I'm sure she'll listen to your suggestion. On the other hand, maybe we could have just taken a lantern with us.”

But shortly afterwards they reached the front door of the restaurant and Mattias briefly let go of Elin's hand to hold it open for them. Snatches of conversation and quiet laughter emanated from inside and a cosy warmth spread around their faces as they entered. However, just before they did, Mattias noticed some extinguished lanterns next to the door and had to agree with his fiancée.

The innkeeper immediately approached them and greeted his regulars with a smile.

“General Mattias, Lady Halima … nice to welcome you back to my place and I see that this time you have a young companion … hello, little one. Same table as usual, General, and a glass of our best red wine for you both?”

“Gladly, Reik, and a glass of juice for our little Elin, please.”

“Very well.”

The innkeeper invited them to their usual table and picked up the menu from the counter as they passed.

“Unfortunately, we've had to shorten our menu a little because we're also affected by the supply problem,” he said as he handed them both the menu. “So may I suggest fish of various kinds, lobster or a game ragout with freshly picked mushrooms?”

“We're still thinking about it, Reik, please bring us the drinks first,” Mattias replied and turned to Elin, who had just taken a seat next to Halima, looked around curiously and then ran her fingers along the large tablecloth on the round table.

“Are you hungry or not so hungry, Elin?” he asked.

Elin looked up at him and shrugged her shoulders, “I don't know…”

“I already know what we're going to do. Halima, have you chosen yet?”

“The ragout sounds good, I'll have that today.”

“Then I'll have fish today … trout, if available … let's see,” he said as he skimmed the menu, “and an empty plate for Elin. She can have a taste of both of us then, all right, little one?”

Elin nodded hesitantly and looked curiously over at the few other guests.

“Good idea, my darling, I would have suggested that too,” said Halima, putting the menu aside and smiling at Elin.

The landlord brought the drinks and they placed their order. Elin watched and listened carefully, even when the host dished up shortly afterwards and her new parents took a cloth from the table, skilfully unfolded it and placed it over their legs before reaching for the cutlery. Elin followed suit and when Mattias asked what she wanted to try first, she pointed to Halima's plate of game stew, which smelled tempting.

“I like that one.”

Halima slid some of her plate over to Elin's and placed it in front of her.

However, it was a little difficult for the little girl to eat due to the low seating height and when she pushed a forkful into her mouth, some of the sauce dripped down. Elin noticed it immediately and now realised the purpose of the cloth over her legs. She smiled at Mattias, who didn't hesitate for long, stood up with a grin and took one of the higher stools in front of the counter for Elin. Now everything was perfect and the little girl tucked into one delicious piece of meat after another.

Halima and Mattias exchanged mischievous glances.

“I can see you really like it,” he said, “but you'd better take your time with it, Elin. You have to savour this delicious dish.”

Elin nodded vigorously and took a sip from her glass before continuing to eat, but now chewing a little more slowly and to Mattia's satisfaction a little longer.

When they had all finished, he topped up his and Halima's wine and ordered a second glass of juice for the girl.

“Elin,” Halima began, looking at her questioningly, “we were thinking about something today and wondering what you'd think.” She glanced over at Mattias, who immediately understood and continued for her.

“We think it's time you learnt not only reading and writing from Olaf, but also many other exciting things.”

Elin was now curious and asked, “Other exciting things? What do you mean?”

“Well, what the other children your age learn at school. From a real teacher, you know?”

“In a school? What's that? But I don't want to go back to a home like that or something, the other children at the orphanage always looked at me so strangely and teased me. I don't like that.”

“No, no, Elin,” Halima intervened again, “don't worry, a school is something completely different and the teacher keeps an eye on all the children at all times so that they don't do anything like that. The children there are also very different to those at the orphanage and always go home to their parents after lessons in the afternoon. Just like you do when you come home to us. But you can also play with them if you like, that's also something you haven't done before and it's great fun.”

Elin looked at both of them doubtfully and didn't know what to say.

“I'll make you a suggestion, Elin, we'll all go to the school down by the harbour tomorrow and you can have a look around and get to know the teacher at the same time. All right?” said Mattias and signalled to the landlord, who immediately came to him.

“We'd like to pay the bill, please.” Then Mattias turned to Elin again and grinned, “Besides, we have a surprise for you tonight.”

“A surprise?”

“Yes, my dear. I've finished decorating your room today and I hope you like it,” Halima explained and Elin's eyes lit up. “Let's go home and you can think about what we've said in peace, shall we?”

Elin nodded and after Mattias had pressed a few coins into the innkeeper's hand, they left the restaurant.

~~~

youtube

The next morning brought a pleasant surprise for the castle residents when two long covered wagons with a high superstructure drove over the bridge and then came to a rumbling halt on the cobblestones of the castle courtyard. Captain Einar immediately rushed over because of the noise and met the two coachmen, who introduced themselves to him as Snoob's inhabitants and brought supplies for the castle and the capital on behalf of His Highness Kristoff Bjorgmann.

Einar lifted the tarpaulins of both carriages and peered curiously underneath, while the coachmen stood by his side to explain. The first wagon was piled high with sacks of flour, barrels and baskets full of vegetables and all sorts of other food supplies. On the second wagon was mainly cattle feed and many bales of hay. The captain thanked them and immediately summoned some guardsmen, who were not only to look after the two guests and the draught horses, but were also entrusted with distributing the load.

It wasn't actually much and would hardly be enough for everyone, but it was a good start and the bakers in the town would be particularly pleased to receive so much flour. Einar sent for Olina, the cook, to make a selection for the castle kitchen and also sent for Lars and his assistant so that they could get enough fresh straw into the stables. For the captain, catering for the royal castle was the most important thing and he was very pleased with how quickly everything was done as he stood there watching everyone.

It wasn't long before the queen, with her sister at her side, walked down the steps in front of the castle and looked around, partly in joy and partly in amazement.

“Captain Einar, didn't Kristoff come with them? I don't see him or Sven anywhere.”

“As far as I can tell, His Highness only ordered this delivery in Snoob and the coachmen drove everything that was in the collection centre here. They didn't mention anything else, not even a message from him.”

Anna drew her eyebrows together and looked at Elsa.

“I understand that Kai didn't come with them, after all we gave him a holiday with his relatives, but Kristoff should have done his job with this amount of supplies. Is he on holiday in Snoob now too or what is he up to?”

Elsa shrugged her shoulders, “Maybe he's helping Kai with the candidates for the new council, but to be honest, I have no idea what else it could be.”

“Hmm,” Anna said with a brooding face, “so if he doesn't turn up in two days at the latest, I'll send a messenger, believe me.”

“Since you're talking about messengers … look who's coming, Anna!”

She wheeled round, hoping to see Kristoff with Sven after all, but instead Princess Mari of Vesterland was riding into the castle courtyard accompanied by her bodyguard.

Mari spotted them both at the same moment, signalled her guards to dismount and rode right up to the sisters. She then swung skilfully out of the saddle and said, “Hello, my dears!” beaming with joy.

The three of them hugged each other warmly one after the other and Mari immediately began to talk as they all went inside. Mari walked in the middle, her arms casually draped over the sisters' shoulders and in a good mood.

“I see that you have already received a delivery of food, which makes me happy for you. They are still collecting for it everywhere in my kingdom and the wagons should arrive here the day after tomorrow at the latest. I received your letter yesterday, Anna. I'm really sorry about what happened to you outside our castle and you can be sure that the two guards have been severely reprimanded for it. Such behaviour is simply inexcusable! Dad wasn't even at home at the time because he always visits Mum's grave with me that day and I was taking care of your supply problem afterwards.”

“I was thinking something like that, Mari,” said Elsa sympathetically and Anna added, “but I was still pretty angry. To be honest, nothing like this has ever happened to me before.”

“Can you stay here for a few days, Mari? We were both planning to go mushroom picking together again after a long time and it would be nice if you could join us,” Elsa asked, stopping in front of the wide staircase to the first floor, “We could have a relaxed chat about so many things.”

“I'd love to! I haven't done that for so long and I'm sure it would be a lot of fun with you two. But I'd have to ride back on Wednesday at the latest.”

“That's great, I'm really looking forward to it,” said Anna. “Come on, let's go upstairs for a cup of tea and if you're hungry, I'll get Olina to prepare a little something for us.”

“Tea sounds good, but I'm not very hungry yet. The main thing is that the three of us have a cosy time together.”

~~~

Meanwhile, south of Snoob …

Kristoff had had a good night's sleep and thanked Eriksen once again as he got into his wagon and let Sven trot off in the direction of the landing stage. Once there, he recognised a ship with a new name painted on the hull. He read 'ARN Voyager' and was willing to bet that this had been Anna's idea, at least that's how he imagined it.

The Draba was anchored right next to it and as he was about to go on board with Sven while his car was being hoisted over the railing, someone called out to him.

He turned around and recognised Master Fabian, who was standing in the bow of the Voyager and waving down.

“Master Fabian, what are you doing here on the naval base?” Kristoff called up.

“I was just about to ask you the same question, Your Highness. I'm travelling on behalf of the queen and am about to set sail for Corona. And you?” Fabian called out.

“Erm, well … I want to surprise Anna and have decided to sail to Weselton on my own because of the same problem you're travelling for, I suppose.”

“Indeed I am, only in the opposite direction.” Fabian laughed.

“It's quite a long way to Corona, isn't it?”

“Yes, that's true and I reckon it will take me three to four days, depending on the wind.”

“It's only just under two days for me, as Admiral Eriksen told me. Were you also in the fortress overnight?”

“No, I arrived last night on a small sailing boat from Arendelle and then lay down in a hammock right here below deck.”

“I see … well then, have a good trip and good luck in Corona.”

“I wish you the same, Your Highness. We could both do with a bit of luck.”

Kristoff nodded and waved goodbye before boarding the Draba and introducing himself to the captain.

Half an hour later, both ships set sail.

~~~

---

Remark: I hope you have enjoyed this chapter! Please leave a comment if you liked the story, I would be pleased to read your opinions, even criticisms. If you want to be tagged as soon I publish the next chapter please let me know, except you are already tagged :-)

Tagging: @true--north @annaofthenorthernlights @dronning-formynder05

#frozen #frozen2 #frozen3 #fanfic #epic novel #the broken bridge #chapter 76 #bigfrozenfan #Youtube

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contentment-of-cats · 7 months

Text

Text from the Washington Post

DYING EARLY AMERICA’S LIFE EXPECTANCY CRISIS STRESS IS WEATHERING OUR BODIES FROM THE INSIDE OUT

By Akilah Johnson and Charlotte Gomez Oct. 17 at 6:00 a.m.

Link to article here - paywall warning. Use 12.io or other paywall buster.

Physicians and public health experts have pointed to one culprit time and again when asked why Americans live shorter lives than peers in nations with similar resources, especially people felled by chronic diseases in the prime of life: stress.

A cardiologist, endocrinologist, obesity specialist, health economist and social epidemiologists all said versions of the same thing: Striving to get ahead in an unequal society contributes to people in the United States aging quicker, becoming sicker and dying younger.

Recent polls show adults are stressed by factors beyond their control, including inflation, violence, politics and race relations. A spring Washington Post-Ipsos poll found 50 percent of Americans said not having enough income was a source of financial stress; 55 percent said not having enough savings was also a source of stress.

“We should take a step back and look at the society we’re living in and how that is actually determining our stress levels, our fatigue levels, our despair levels,” said Elizabeth H. Bradley, president of Vassar College and co-author of the book “The American Health Care Paradox.” “That’s for everybody. Health is influenced very much by these factors, so that’s why we were talking about a reconceptualization of health.”

The Washington Post’s efforts to gain a deeper understanding of how stress can cause illness, disability and shorter lives led to a once derided body of research that has become part of the mainstream discussion about improving America’s health: the Weathering Hypothesis.

Stress is a physiological reaction that is part of the body’s innate programming to protect against external threats.

When danger appears, an alarm goes off in the brain, activating the body’s sympathetic nervous system — the fight-or-flight system. The hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis is activated. Hormones, such as epinephrine and cortisol, flood the bloodstream from the adrenal glands.

The heart beats faster. Breathing quickens. Blood vessels dilate. More oxygen reaches large muscles. Blood pressure and glucose levels rise. The immune system’s inflammatory response activates, promoting quick healing.

Once the threat passes, hormone levels return to normal, blood glucose recedes, and heart rate and blood pressure return to baseline. That’s how the human body should work.

Life brings an accumulation of unremitting stress, especially for those subjected to inequity — and not just from immediate and chronic threats. Even the anticipation of those menaces causes persistent damage.

The body produces too much cortisol and other stress hormones, straining to bring itself back to normal. Eventually, the body’s machinery malfunctions.

Like tree rings, the body remembers.

The constant strain — the chronic sources of stress — resets what is “normal,” and the body begins to change.

It is the repeated triggering of this process year after year — the persistence of striving to overcome barriers — that leads to poor health.

Blood pressure remains high. Inflammation turns chronic. In the arteries, plaque forms, causing the linings of blood vessels to thicken and stiffen. That forces the heart to work harder. It doesn’t stop there. Other organs begin to fail.

Struggling and striving It’s part of the weathering process, a theory first suggested by Arline T. Geronimus, a professor and population health equity researcher at the University of Michigan.

Geronimus, whose book “Weathering: The Extraordinary Stress of Ordinary Life in an Unjust Society” published in March, started out studying the health of women and babies as a graduate student in the 1980s, having been influenced by two distinctly different jobs she had as an undergraduate: one as an on-campus research assistant, the other as a peer companion at an off-campus school for teen mothers.

Stress is weathering our bodies from the inside out At the time, she said, conventional wisdom held that the Black community had higher rates of infant mortality because teen mothers were physically and psychosocially too immature to have healthy babies. But her research showed younger Black women had better pregnancy and birth outcomes than Black mothers in their mid- to late 20s and 30s.

For this, she was criticized as someone arguing in favor of teen pregnancy, even though she was not. Shaken but undeterred, she continued trying to understand the phenomenon, which meant better understanding the overall health of the community these teens depended on for help. As she studied those networks, she recognized “people’s life expectancies were shorter, and they were getting all these chronic diseases at young ages,” she said.

But she hadn’t come up with a name yet for what she was witnessing. That happened in the early 1990s while sitting in her office: “‘Weathering’ struck me as the perfect word.”

She said she was trying to capture two things. First, that people’s varied life experiences affect their health by wearing down their bodies. And second, she said: “People are not just passive victims of these horrible exposures. They withstand them. They struggle against them. These are people who weather storms.”

People seem to instinctively understand the first, but she said they often overlook the second. It isn’t just living in an unequal society that makes people sick. It’s the day-in, day-out effort of trying to be equal that wears bodies down.

Weathering, she said, helps explain the double-edged sword of “high-effort coping.”

Over the years, Geronimus widened the aperture of her research to include immigrants, Latinos, the LGBTQIA community, poor White people from Appalachia. She found that while weathering is a universal human physiological process, it happens more often in marginalized populations.

Regulation of cortisol — what we think of as the body’s main stress hormone — is disrupted. Optimally, it should work like a wave with a steep morning rise followed by a rapid decline, which slows until reaching baseline at bedtime.

But existing research suggests that is blunted by repeated exposure to psychosocial and environmental stressors, such as perceived racial discrimination, which flatten this rhythm.

Stress-induced high cortisol levels stimulate appetite by triggering the release of ghrelin, a peptide that stimulates hunger.

The interplay between elevated cortisol and glucose is especially complex and insidious, eventually leading to obesity, fatigue, cardiovascular disease, poor immune and inflammatory functions, higher breast cancer mortality rates and other metabolic disorders. Dysregulated cortisol also increases depression and anxiety and interferes with sleep.

Weathering doesn’t start in middle age.

It begins in the womb. Cortisol released into a pregnant person’s bloodstream crosses the placenta, which helps explain why a disproportionate number of babies born to parents who live in impoverished communities or who experience the constant scorn of discrimination are preterm and too small.

During the coronavirus pandemic, pregnant women experiencing stress endured changes in the structure and texture of their placentas, according to a study published this year in Scientific Reports.

The toxic stream can persist into childhood fueled by exposure to abuse, neglect, poverty, hunger. Too much exposure to cortisol can reset the neurological system’s fight-or-flight response, essentially causing the brain’s stress switch to go haywire.

Too much stress in children and adolescents can trigger academic, behavioral and health problems, including depression and obesity.

Stress can change the body at a cellular level.

The effects of relentless stress can be seen at the chromosomal level, in telomeres, which are repeated sequences of DNA found in just about every cell.

Telomeres are the active tips of chromosomes, and they protect the cell’s genetic stability by “capping” the ends of the chromosomes to prevent degeneration. (Think of the plastic tips of shoelaces.)

Researchers have discovered that in people with chronically high levels of cortisol, telomeres become shortened at a faster rate, a sign of premature aging. The shorter the telomeres, the older the cell’s biological age. Shortened telomeres cause a disconnect between biological and chronological age.

‘A societal project’ “I don’t think most people understand weathering stress. Stress is such a vague term,” Geronimus said. “But it still gives us a leverage point to get in there and see a more complex and more frightening picture of what it does to people’s bodies and whose bodies it does it to.”

Changes in seven biomarkers in cardiac patients during a 30-year period showed Black patients weathering about six years faster than White people, a 2019 study published in SSM-Population Health found. Research also found that Black people experience hypertension, diabetes and strokes 10 years earlier than White people, according to a study published in the Journal of Urban Health.

The impact of repeatedly activating the body’s stress response is called allostatic load.

Research has shown that Mexican immigrants living in the United States for more than 10 years have elevated allostatic load scores compared with those who have lived here for less than a decade, and a study of Ohio breast cancer patients published in May in JAMA Network Open found that women with higher allostatic loads — who tended to be older, Black, single and publicly insured — were more likely to experience postoperative complications than those with lower allostatic loads.

“The argument weathering is trying to make is these are things we can change, but we have to understand them in their complexity,” Geronimus said. “This has to be a societal project, not the new app on your phone that will remind you to take deep breaths when you’re feeling stress.”

So, in short, social inequality causes stress, leading to shortened telomeres and, in turn, premature aging, disease and early death.

#we're being killed #culling the herd

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