#curse this old man for being so goddamn fine

[xiefuyu]

overworked.

-- bonten x reader

🖤 — Tokyo Revengers

📝 — non-con drugging (its bonten, what did you expect) (its for your own safety tho...?), cursing, it's bonten timeline that's a spoiler itself, platonic relationship, not proofread

:a/n — I ain't indulging non-con behaviors everyone t___t

Being Bonten’s intern was hell.

But hey, they pay much more than your ordinary 8-5 job so it works and you’re not going to complain loudly. It’s just one of those days where you’re full of work. Like full full kind of full. You wish it was your stomach that was full of food instead.

The light coming from your computer is starting to make your eyes sting and your lower back is being a bitch from how long you’ve been in the same position for hours.

When you first started this intern thing, the work wasn’t this heavy but as the time went by, you noticed how the top executives became comfortable with you to the point that they dumped their report-making to you.

(Let’s be honest, they’re just straight up bullying you.)

(Let’s be honest, you want to kill them.)

But you’re a broke person who’s living in a penthouse given by your boss, Sano Manjiro, and living off of the pay given by Kokonoi so yes, you’re going to fucking endure this like how Takeomi is still enduring life despite being the lung cancer’s incarnate.

You sigh and decide to take a break. You start questioning the existence of time when you saw that the sun had already risen. What the actual fuck? You swear it was just nighttime! Were you taking Sanzu’s drugs without knowing it? Did Bonten decide to prank you and cover your office windows with big TVs?

You groan and curse.

“Fucking great, not a single wink of sleep again.” you tell yourself and slap your thigh for being stupid for letting yourself disassociate with reality.

You stand up, determined to put some kind of food in your stomach because goddamn, you swear you just saw a grim reaper standing beside your desk, raising an eyebrow at you because of your condition.

You flip off your hallucinated grim reaper and start walking. It’s morning, you remind yourself. It’s morning and those goddamn lazy ass executives (Ran and Sanzu) will come in any time now. The thought of dealing with their asses makes you roll your eyes, immediately regretting it because it caused a goddamn pounding in your head.

You just hope you don’t run into one of them while you’re on your journey to get food.

Who are you even kidding? Your office is literally beside Sanzu’s so it wasn’t a surprise when you bumped into him on your way to the general kitchen.

“Good morning, Sanzu-san.” you greet because you’re not an asshole and he’s literally your boss. “Aren’t you an early bird?” he teases, eyebrows wiggling. You roll your eyes in your mind, just giving him a smile and walking past him towards the kitchen.

Sanzu doesn’t miss your darkened eyebags and the fact that you’re still wearing what you were wearing yesterday.

“Oh, right, the fridge doesn’t have anything, kid.” he says and grins as he watches you close your eyes in an attempt to calm down. “Come on, I’ll treat you to the canteen below.” he beckons and you shake your head.

“It’s fine, Sanzu-san. I can pay for my own food. Now, if you’ll excuse me.” Sanzu just hums, following you like a lost kid. “Kid, did you finish my report?” 

Kid.

Old ass man.

Calling you kid as if you’re not younger by 4 years only.

“Yes. I’ll bring it to you later, Sanzu-san. Will you be at your office?” He gives you a lazy smile and shrugs. “Who knows?” if he’s not your boss and the fact that he could kill you without hesitation, you would have cursed him in his face already. But you’re kind so you remain silent and patiently wait for the elevator doors to open.

The both of you walk in silence towards the canteen. The atmosphere suddenly drops when the lower members of Bonten see Sanzu behind you. It was a common occurrence but it doesn’t fail to remind you that the man walking behind you was a criminal. A big, experienced, and an unhinged one at that.

The smell and sight of food makes your stomach growl silently and you walk faster, hoping Sanzu didn’t hear it because this bitch will surely tease you for it. Fortunately, he remains silent behind you, just watching you get your food, not even getting some for him. He follows you to a table, sitting across you, still silent.

“Do you have anything to say, Sanzu-san?” you asked when he remained looking at you. It wasn’t uncomfortable for you but you sure as hell found it annoying, wanting nothing but poke his eyes with the fork you’re holding.

“You stink,” he says.

You close your eyes, breathing in and out deeply, calming yourself down. No, you don’t stink, thank you very much. Despite being holed in your office for almost 24 hours, you still smell like your perfume, vanilla extract and pastell herbs.

You don’t say anything, opting to continue eating because you’re fucking hungry and you’re sane enough to priorities yourself before this spawn of Satan himself.

The two of you sit in silence.

You don’t know why but Sanzu got you an ice cream, shrugging when you threw him a confused look. “I did say I’ll treat you,” he says.

You thank him and let yourself smile when you see that it’s your favourite flavour. Without further ado, you start eating your ice cream, unaware of Sanzu’s wicked grin.

A few minutes later, your eyelids feel heavy, making you frown. Is it a food coma? You used to feel sleepy after eating sometimes but you know that it’s not the case this time. You look up at Sanzu and curse when you see him grinning at you.

“Sanzu-san…what…”

“Not drugs.”

With that confirmation, you let yourself succumb to darkness, cursing Sanzu silently and hoping he didn’t hear you.

“Sanzu-san…you fucker…” Sanzu laughs loudly when he hears you cursing him. It’s your fault for trusting him and eating the ice cream that he gave you, honestly. (Not true, Sanzu is just an idiot).

He stands up to pick your limp body up and makes his way to his office. “The fuck? What happened?” he hears Kokonoi asking, looking at you in worry. “Nothing. Just made her fall asleep.” he says.

Kokonoi sighs loudly, “Sanzu, did you fucking put a sleeping pill in her food?” he asks, upset. “Bingo!” Sanzu exclaims, not so loudly, before grinning at Kokonoi’s tired facade at him.

“I told you not to do- whatever.” Kokonoi cuts himself off, already knowing that he won’t get across Sanzu’s thick skull and when he sees you still wearing your yesterday’s outfit. “Bring her to the private lounge, not your office.” he warns. Sanzu rolls his eyes but nods, his plan to let you nap in his office gone.

He’s more than aware that you’ll curse him in your mind when you wake up.

But hey, seeing you snuggling closer to the blanket he put over you and deeper into the pillow was enough to dull the regret he’s feeling for overworking you.

(Don’t be deceived, he’ll overwork you again by dumping his report-making to you.)

By the time you regain consciousness, it was already dark outside, making you sit up abruptly, ignoring the sudden dizziness caused by your action.

“Get some more sleep.” you jump at the voice, head whipping around the source and you curse in your head when you see that it’s just Mikey.

“Boss.” you called out. “I’m okay now, boss.” you throw the blanket aside but stops when you see that Mikey’s hand is playing with a familiar sleeping pill. “What did I tell you about overworking?” His tone was that of command, making your heart beat faster. 

You curse Sanzu for forcing you to rest. If he didn’t, you could have showered in your office so as to not cause suspicions that you stayed in for the night.

Your bosses, the top executives, are absolute menaces (except Kakucho, Mochi, and Kokonoi) but you’re aware that they care about you and your health. Including Mikey, the top boss.

Ironic how they literally hired you to do work that involves playing with Death himself.

“I apologise, sir. I lost track of time.” you answer, bowing slightly, hoping Mikey will just let this slide. 

And he will. He always does for some reason.

You hear him sigh and you look up, victory bubbling in your chest. “Just go to sleep. It’s already late.” he warns as if he won’t let some of his boys drive you home where the security is tight as hell.

“I need to shower, boss…” you say, feeling icky now that you’re hyper aware of the fact that you still haven’t cleaned your body. “Use the shower here, then. I am sure you have clothes in your office.”

You ignore how he emphasised the word office as if he can’t believe you have spare clothes, home clothes, rather, in your office.

In his defense, you’re not supposed to have those kinds of clothes in your office because they belong to your house. Because he already warned you about not overworking yourself to the point that you sleep in your office. 

“Then, please excuse me.” you sheepishly said, bowing at him again. He says and does nothing, just watching you walk away.

When you get back to the private lounge (because you’re not allowed to go home as it was already late) you see Mikey still there.

He points at the sofa bed,

“Sleep,” he commands. Maybe it’s because your exhaustion is catching up to you but you found yourself already slipping away from reality. 

Nevertheless, you were still a little bit awake when Mikey stood up and made his way towards you. You were still lucid when you feel his cold hand patting your head along with an almost familiar soft-

“Have sweet dreams.”

Letting your eyes close completely, you smile a little and mumbles a you, too, Mikey-san, before falling asleep for the second time that day.

A/N; might be a mini series again woah haahah

@bontensbabygirl

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers fic #tokyo revengers imagines #tokyo revengers spoiler #sano manjiro x reader #sano manjiro x y/n #sanzu haruchiyo x reader #bonten x reader #bonten x yn #xiefuyu's

[freak-accident419]

Ya Ne Prava

Derek Danforth x GN!Reader

Summary: Because everyone seemed to fail him, Derek Danforth decided to call you up to kill Mr. Clay. You are an assassin that had an intimate, yet complicated relationship with Derek in the past, sharing a bittersweet history together. You realize that you’re going against a Beekeeper, and felt obligated to spend one last night with your old lover, as this mission doesn’t guarantee your survival. But you’d do anything for him—even if it meant dying for him.

WC: 4.4k

Content: 18+ smut, MDNI, gender neutral reader, unspecified genitals for reader (vague penetration), more plot than porn tbh, cursing, smoking, drinking, mentions of death, slight spoilers for The Beekeeper but nothing too drastic

(A/n: title translates to “I was wrong”/“I messed up”, in which I grabbed that lyric from the Russian song “My Marmalade” by Katya Lel !! Thank you guys for showing me so much support lately. I hope you guys enjoy this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it :) love you all !!)

-

You raised your glass to your lips, letting the rich, smooth liquid of scotch graze your tongue and go down your throat seamlessly after your brief sip.

You look at the man behind the office desk in front of you. It wasn’t like you haven’t seen him in a ridiculously long time, probably just for a couple of months to a year, more or less. But you never got tired of looking at him when you could. He was an incorrigible asshole, but his beautiful, hazel eyes would convey otherwise. He was an immoral, selfish dick, but the way his lips formed into a smile could convince anybody with basic cognition that he was an angel.

The silence was awkward, indubitably because of the complicated past you shared, but the eye contact really wasn’t—if anything, it was subtly bittersweet. And instead of being at his office inside Danforth Enterprises, you were at his office inside his mansion, which already revealed the secrecy and urgency of his request: he wanted you to kill for him again.

“Nobody has a name for this guy, no leads, no info, no nothing, he is off the fucking grid,” he explained to you sternly. “I was gonna make fuckin’… Wallace fix shit up, but his incompetent fucking men keep failing me, so—”

“You’re taking manners into your own hands and your last resort was hiring me? After, like, months of radio silence from me?”

He perked up at your words, then nodded, taking a lazy sip of his drink. “Precisely.”

“Okay,” you nodded accordingly. It was second nature, instantly agreeing to something this morbid, but you were an assassin after all, and Derek had hired you quite frequently in the past to take care of things. It was actually how you two initially met and eventually became intimate through—for a while, at least. “What’re you offering?” You ask, taking a cigarette out from one small box in your pocket.

“One million,” he answered briefly. However, you scoffed in disbelief, which almost immediately gained a perplexed reaction from him. “What?”

“Let’s go over the facts,” you begin, leisurely crossing your legs by resting your ankle onto your other knee. “This guy burned down your thirty million dollar call center. He could’ve definitely been related to the goddamn gas station explosion, killed all the guys you sent, and you were the last to hear from Garnett before he died at the hands of this man.” You took out your lighter and placed the cigarette in your mouth. “This guy is fucking intense. He is out for blood, your blood, Derek. It looks like he’s going to kill anyone who gets in his way, and if that’s gonna be me, I expect a higher fucking payment.” Your voice was slightly raised at the end of your sentence as you lit your cigarette, taking a long drag.

Derek sighed as he realized that you had a point. You always did, actually, in fact, he nearly always obeyed you. It was like you were the only person who could control that firecracker of a man. “Fuck… Fucking fine. Three million.”

You give a smug smile, blowing out the smoke from your drag and letting your cigarette rest between your fingers once you moved it out of your mouth. “See how easy that was?” You tease cheekily, seeing his brows knit in impatience and exasperation. You pursed your lips before asking, “What’s this guy’s deal anyway? Like, what do you know about him so far?”

Derek huffed with agitation. “Fuck, I don’t know, he… He just fucks around with all my shit, apparently he’s a-a fuckin’ beekeeper, and—”

“Wait, what?” Your eyes widen, heart practically racing as you heard those words come out of his mouth. Was it purely coincidental, or…

“What?” He asked as he noticed how exceedingly pale your face went. You never had this expression on your face, at least not in front of him. You were always seen by him as perpetually unafraid, but in this very moment, you seemed to be unusually apprehensive. “Fuck, Y/n, what is it?”

“Did you say he was a beekeeper?” You inquired silently, fidgeting with your fingers.

“Yeah, that’s the only fucking thing we know about him. Why?” Derek seemed to appear gruff and utterly pissed on the outside, but internally and authentically, he was fundamentally solicitous, especially for you. Why were you, if anything, afraid?

“Yeah, that can’t be a fucking coincidence,” you mumble thoughtfully to yourself as you take an anxious drag from your cigarette. “The Beekeepers is some kind of secret organization, completely off the goddamn grid that consists of professionally trained assassins. And let me tell you, Danforth, these guys are hard-fucking-core. You thought I was terrible? These guys are fucking worse,” you stress, waving your cigarette around as the trail of smoke followed your hand gestures. “If this guy is a part of them, then holy shit, the both of us are dead.”

Derek processes your words, however only growing antsy and disgruntled. “So what? You can handle another fucking cocksucker. I know you, your skills are off the charts.”

“Hey, I know myself more than anybody does, including you. And I know that I have a very advanced skillset, but maybe not as advanced as fucking Beekeepers. Look, Danforth, I will definitely put up a fight, but this man could definitely—”

“Y/n, you’re the best fucking assassin I fucking know, just—just do the fucking job,” he demanded relentlessly, displeased with your insistent, yet assertively spoken doubt.

You glared at him with agitation for a few seconds, before speaking again.

“Five million,” you state bluntly.

“What?”

“Five fucking million, Danforth. If you want me to kill this man, let alone a fucking beekeeper, I expect higher pay,” you argue tactfully.

You sense a sort of irked frustration in him, his face contorted, teeth gritting behind his closed lips, and dark eyes, in which you’ve seen on several previous occasions.

“Goddamnit, Y/n, he’s just another fucking guy! Just, fuck, snipe him if you have to, or whatever,” he insisted tiredly. “You’re the best killer I know. This guy doesn’t have shit on you, just—”

“Danforth, I’m not a hundred percent sure that I’ll come back from this mission alive, so five million or no deal!” You exclaimed, trying to emphasize how dangerous this job would be.

“Jesus! Fuck! Fine!” he conceded aggressively, leaning back in his chair. “Five million it is,” he grumbled.

You feel your eyes soften and your eyebrows relax pleasantly the moment you heard those words. You grinned mischievously, taking another drag from your cigarette. “Pleasure doing business with you.” Derek rolled his eyes in response, displeased by the amount of money he was going to give you just to kill one guy.

“Sure, whatever,” he replies lazily. “I trust you, so whoever—”

You scoffed amusedly, interrupting him. “You shouldn’t,” you say.

“What?” He was extremely baffled as he heard your response.

“You shouldn’t trust me,” you repeat.

“Umm, okay, and why-why the fuck not?” Derek was frustratingly oblivious, too ignorant to comprehend the contentious situation between you two that resulted in a long period of desolated avoidance.

“You are aware that I have tried to kill you, yes?”

A piercing silence.

It was true, unfortunately. Back when you were constantly doing jobs for Derek, an anonymous hire suddenly offered more than $80 million for you to assassinate him. Back then, you were marginally involved with Derek in an intimate setting. You worked for him as his executioner, and soon enough, your charm led to you sleeping together on several occasions and exchanging some sweet kisses and words, alongside the establishment of affectionate pet names. What hurt the most about it was that it was all authentic, his feelings and yours. However, you were weak and selfish and overall blinded with greed. Eighty million was drastically more than any amount you were ever hired with. So you took up the offer to assassinate President Jessica Danforth’s young, foolish son.

You were going to pull the trigger once your eyes locked on the target, but the second you did, you missed, causing severe lockdowns and the anticipated presence of the secret service. And when it all died down, Derek caught you with his own eyes as you attempted to escape, yet shockingly, he let you go. And you barely kept in contact ever again—until now.

“It—It doesn’t matter, Y/n, okay, I don’t see you pointing a gun at my head anymore, so it’s all in the past, alright?” He raised his glass to his lips, drinking the remaining bourbon (he preferred it more than scotch).

“Wh—? Okay, why the fuck are you so calm about it? I tried to kill you, don’t you understand that?” You stressed, continuing to frustratingly watch his nonchalant reaction to you.

He set his glass back down on the table, not even bothering to put it on the actual coaster, which was literally just about an inch away. “It’s because I know you, Y/n. I know that you’re the best fucking assassin I’ve ever hired and you never miss a shot. You’re, like, completely flawless at what you do. And because you’re that perfect at it, it amuses me that you missed when you had such a clear shot at me.” You glared at him as he spoke, plainly vexed.

“You were fucking afraid,” he continued, making you huff in disbelief. “You didn’t wanna kill me. Sure, eighty million seemed promising, but it didn’t live up to the sex and passionate admiration we had for each other. I trust you because I know now that if you were offered all the diamonds and golds in the entire fucking world, you still wouldn’t kill me for any of it.”

You hated how much this was true. You couldn’t kill him if you had the chance. Which was what mainly pissed you off, because he had to be the most annoying, arrogant, egotistical bastard you knew. And yet, you had a soft spot for him. And he had a soft spot for you. You were way too fond of him.

You sigh afterwards, knowing that he was completely right, whether you’d like it or not. “Well… Okay, do you trust me when I say that there is no guarantee that I’m coming back alive—”

“Goddamnit, Y/n, enough about this!” Derek interjected. “I trust that you’ll get the job done—”

“Danforth, I—”

“You know my name,” he snarled. “Use it.”

You groan impatiently, unabashed. “Okay, Derek, well as I said, The Beekeepers is a very elite organization. There is a reason why this guy was able to take down all your men at UDG—”

“It’s because they were fucking incompetent! You, howev—”

“Holy shit, Derek, just shut up for once!” You blurt. “If I don’t make it out alive, then what are you gonna do? Hm?”

“You’re… Y/n, you are going to make it out alive,” he grumbled, tired of your claims.

“Derek, I swear to fucking god—”

“If he fucking kills you, I’ll make sure to rain fucking hell on that bastard and the whole fucking Beekeeper organization itself. Okay?”

And it was clear that he was still so very fond of you.

You gave a slight chuckle, putting out your cigarette on a nearby ashtray. Your hands clasped together in front of you on the surface of the wooden desk, which was also presented in front of him. And so suddenly, Derek placed his hands over yours, lightly grazing the back of your hands and fingers with his fingertips and palms. It was comforting, to say the least, as well as nostalgic.

“I missed you,” you muttered softly, watching the two of your hands fidget with each other, soft, warm skin moving against coarse, cold skin.

“I’ve missed you too,” he mumbled, watching your hands on the table until he moved his eyes up to yours.

“You can deny it all you want, Derek, but I’m not going to get out of this alive or untouched,” you say in the silence of the room.

“I don’t want to believe that,” he simply replied, not wanting to accept the clear reality.

“Well, when you see my obituary in the papers, you’re gonna have to,” you articulate softly as his thumb rubs against yours.

He scoffs in disbelief. “As I said, you’re the best assassin I know. You can easily take out this stupid fucking asshole.” You nod modestly. “I’m serious!”

“Derek, are you trying to flatter me?” You raise an eyebrow with a light chuckle, watching his face gradually turn rosy.

“No, I’m—I’m just pointing out the fuckin’ facts,” he claimed.

“Well… Just in case this is going to be our last night together—”

“It’s not.”

“Well, hypothetically, if—”

“It’s not.”

“Derek!” You exclaim, laughing afterwards. “Just… All I want is for us to spend one night together, as if it’s our last. C’mon, Derek… Let me take care of you.”

It took a short while for him to process your proposal, until he gently held onto your hands to bring them to his lips, kissing your knuckles. “Okay. Fine,” he answered indifferently. However, you knew that he had a soft spot for you.

***

His gentle, soft lips moved with yours as his rough hands gripped your sides tenderly. It’s been months since you’ve been like this with him, extremely vulnerable with each other physically, ever since your attempt to assassinate him caused mere estrangement. Your back was against the cushiony mattress, your hands cupping his face as your tongue began to clash with his, nearly gracefully as the familiarity of his taste burdened your mouth. The nostalgia creeped behind your mind until it penetrated your brain, making you remember all the ways he used to touch you and pleasure you. But in this very moment, he and you were taking your time with each other. To feel the warm, soft skin against fingertips and fingernails that one another missed.

“You should’ve stopped this when I told you to,” you nearly whispered after you pulled away from his lips, while your eyes explored his hazel irises once again.

He seemed to have no care, or at least no reaction, tucking his head down to nip at your sensitive neck, leaving soft kisses along your throat. “My mom probably wouldn’t have won the presidential election without it,” he remarked, lips trailing up from your collarbone to your jaw.

You scoff silently, moving your hands behind his head to tangle his bleached curls in your fingers. “I’m sure she had it all under control. She’s a remarkable woman,” you reply, feeling his lips against yours again, feeling him tug on your bottom lip right before pulling away again.

“Sure, yes, but… you’ve seen the shitty stats… Without the money we earned, she probably wouldn’t be sitting cozy in the damn White House.” Derek was very persistent about his role and reasons for the continuous phishing scam.

“Well… It doesn’t even matter,” you sigh dismally. “You didn’t stop when I warned you, and now look, you’ve got a whole fucking Beekeeper after you.” Your voice was heavy in disappointment and shame. You couldn’t believe that your old lover would possibly meet his demise if you aren’t proficient enough in your mission.

“Y/n. C’mon. We’ve got it all under control,” he affirmed, pressing some reassuring kisses all over your face. “You just have to kill this one dickhead, and things will go back to the way they were.”

Your eyes meet again, feeling your heart race for a split second as you felt utterly captivated by his beauty and concealed love for you. “I should’ve killed you when I had the chance,” you lamented under your breath.

The way his eyes gazed into yours had communicated something you never thought he would ever have: regret. “I know,” he mumbles as you kiss again, a more passionate and accelerated movement that you sensed was becoming intense.

He took off his blazer, throwing it somewhere down on the floor as you discard your jacket. The two of you could barely separate from each other for too long, so you would desperately kiss each time a new article of clothing is removed. You lift off your shirt and Derek goes down on you again to kiss at your neck once more, leaving hickeys on your collarbone and tracing his lips down to your chest. He looks up at you with affection, kissing your lips once again until he would remove his own shirt.

He cradled your face, crashing his lips onto your passionately, instantly moving his tongue with yours through parted lips. “Everything that we had…” you began in a small whisper between ardent kisses. “Was it all real? Or was it just a way for us to…. to blow off steam? To feel something?”

“No, no, no,” he breathed as you could feel his hand sensibly caress your bare sides. “You’re fucking everything to me.”

Essentially, you were terrified. You knew that eventually, you two were going to lose each other. That’s why you were taking time with this, making sure to not take even a millisecond for granted. And deep down, Derek knew that you were right and that there was no certain guarantee that you could kill the Beekeeper. So he cherished this moment with you. Because in the end, he really loves you.

It was never said out loud, but the two of you loved each other immensely. After years of knowing each other, working together, the ‘one-night-stands’ with ‘no strings attached,’ you two fell for each other faster than the bodies that you shot for him. You were practically the only person he could be stable and decent around. It was always seen through abruptly softened eyes at even the smallest mention of your name.

Once you two were completely naked, your bare bodies attached to each other throughout each deep kiss. His hands graciously moved up and down the skin of your waist as your fingers lost itself in his soft hair, bodies radiating warmth against the other.

His eyes locked with yours, and there was some kind of poignant, desperation in them, looking at you as if you were going to disappear the moment he looked away. “Promise me you’ll come back from this mission alive,” he commanded softly in the cold silence of the room.

“I’ve told you already, Derek,” you sigh wistfully. “He’s a few more steps ahead of me.”

There was something almost so pathetic and contradictory about his distraught mannerisms. “Then I give you full permission to abort,” he proposed, “when things get too risky. If you seriously think you’re going to get killed, then forget about the entire fucking mission, forget about me, okay?”

“You know I can’t do that.” You stroke his hair tenderly between your fingertips, pushing his curls away from disorder. “It’s either go with the mission or not at all. There’s no point in getting myself into deep shit just to abort.”

The man sighed as he knew you were right, again. But also… “I don’t care,” he blurts. “I don’t fucking care. You can go as far as you’d like with him, but when shit hits the fan, I need you to at least beg for mercy, get on your fucking knees if you have to. I need you to get out of the situation immediately, Y/n, okay? I can’t lose you. Shit, I can’t fucking lose you, okay, not again.”

Your heart sank.

He really did care for you.

“Do you love me?” You ask quietly.

The hesitation in his response would give the impression that he had to think about your question, but the truth was that he always knew—he always knew the answer. He loved you, indisputably.

“Yes,” he answered silently. Then, with more confidence, “I love you. I love you so much that I cannot afford to lose you. I can’t fucking lose you. I just got you back, you can’t leave me again.”

A small smile appeared at the corner of your lips. “I’m still here, my marmalade,” he shivered pleasantly at your use of your old, affectionate nickname for him. “And I love you too. All of me is here for you. That’s the point of all this.”

After a shared, enamored look, his lips attached to yours, and the two of you couldn’t help but whimper as you felt the aching head of his cock begin to enter you, already stretching you with his size. It wasn’t until his length was pushed fully inside you, making your breath hitch as the warm, complete feeling had sparked bittersweet memories of the two of you doing this together in the past. Most of the times they were faster-paced and rougher. But this? It was all foreignly vanilla to you; this was straight-up making love at its fibrous roots.

Your face was flushed, feeling tingly as he slowly began to move in and out, his hands hooked under your shoulders in a grip as you held his forearms, locking his legs down with your own. He kissed your lips softly, then down to your neck as his thrusts slowly increased, putting all his weight on you as your chests were pressed against each other.

The two of you let out soft moans once every overlapping feeling intensified, breath quickening every snap of Derek’s hips. You moved your hand to the back of his head, tangling his hair in your fingers again as you deepened the kiss, the two of you only parting to breathe.

“Fuck,” he rasped, sinking into you deeper. Your bodies were so close together, nearly merging as you felt each passionate thrust filling you up. “You feel as good as I remembered.” You let his head be buried into your neck as you felt him gently nip the skin, your fingers still wrapped in his curls and you let your eyes rest, completely indulging in the pleasure he offered. “You were right,” Derek breathed softly. “You should’ve killed me when you had the chance.”

You raise an eyebrow at his remark. “Yeah? And why’s that?”

“Because I don’t even want you to do this job anymore. If I’m gonna die because I’ll end up not hiring you, then so be it,” Derek husked, continuing to move inside you, making your fleshy walls flutter in exhilaration. “At this point, I’d rather have me die than you.”

You stutter out a quiet moan as you feel his movements quicken. “Damn. The sex is that good?” You joked, letting out a breathy chuckle.

He rolled his eyes playfully and snickered lowly. “Yes, the sex is that good,” he reciprocated, mumbling in your lips as he thrusted artfully.

It was like he was no longer selfish with it anymore. Sure, the sex you had in the past with him had equally distributed pleasure, but you would find him focusing on his own release sometimes. However, in this very moment, you could tell that he moved generously and patiently, fucking you carefully—‘fucking,’ however, seemed like a more aggressive approach to describe what was happening, which was plainly the opposite of everything entirely; this was pure lovemaking.

You felt yourself tighten around him as he increases his pace, lips no longer focused on kissing you, but driving the two of you to your release. His cock pushed faster and deeper, in and out, his throat withdrawing stuttered, low grunts and loud, quick breaths. You felt a knot in your stomach, your gut stirring in anticipation. “F-fuck,” he murmured as you felt his hot breath on the side of your face. “Y/n, I’m close.”

Your desperate panting became louder as your legs locked down on his even tighter, threatening to bend further. He lifts his head back up to make eye contact with you, seeing the other’s heated faces and loving gaze. “M-me too, baby.”

He kissed your lips deeply once again, thrusting into you at a rhythm that began to falter, quickening with every soft moan you crooned, repeatedly muttering his name with yearn.

Your cries had crescendoed, hearing desperate, higher-pitched grunts escaping Derek’s pretty mouth, as your bodies stayed warm against each other, building sweat from the intensity’s heat. The sound of skin slapping against skin amplified, wet, squelching noises emitting from each fast action of slipping in and out. You felt an overwhelming feeling of pleasure, feeling yourself come closer to your orgasm as your thighs begin to twitch and body begin to ache. It’s almost like you can’t breathe, the way his length fills you up perfectly and caresses your walls sensually.

“D-Derek, I—” Your eyes nearly roll to the back of your head, but you shut them once you feel your lips attached to his. “I’m—fuck—I’m cumming!” You announce, feeling the entirety of your body tense up, already feeling the sensitivity you would feel post-orgasm.

“Hold on, baby, just wait a little longer for me, that’s good, that’s it, fuck,” he breathed frantically, nearly praising your patience and obedience. Derek’s moans becomes louder, practically in unison with yours, and he moaned out your name passionately once the two of you finally came together. Your voice cracks as you call him, hips jolting as you release, feeling yourself become fragile once you clench around him more intensely, back nearly arching in ecstasy. With one last slam of his hips, he came deeply inside you, spilling his warm cum through enraptured and euphoric spurts, making yourself feel entirely filled as his hips remained against yours, cock still utterly inside of you.

The two of you caught your breaths, just to kiss each other again, your arms wrapping tightly around his neck. Because once all the euphoria slowly died down, you remembered the reality of everything: you or him were going to die at the hands of a compulsive vigilante, and not everything you had together was going to last forever.

His head was buried in your neck, placing lazy pecks on it as the two of you held each other comfortably and safely.

“I just got you back,” he muttered. You were the only person that Derek was the most vulnerable around. “I don’t want to lose you again. Please be careful.”

“You know me,” you reassure softly, disregarding everything you had warned him about. You knew you couldn’t stand a chance against this man. But you’d do it anyway, for Derek. “I’ve killed over fifty men throughout my entire job. I’ve got this.”

Suddenly, he remembered everything you said about the Beekeeper, and how you even doubted yourself and your abilities. “But, you said—”

“Forget what I said,” you interrupt. “I’ve got a real drive to kill him, okay, and that’s you. As long as I have you in my head, he doesn’t stand a chance.” You hated lying to him. But at this point, it wasn’t even about the five million dollars or him hiring you at that; it was about protecting him.

“Are you sure? Because you were very persistent—”

You shut him up with a sweet, deep kiss. “Don’t you worry about it, my marmalade. I’ll take care of it.” You lied straight through your tender, flushed lips that he kissed back.

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

#derek danforth #derek danforth x gn!reader #derek danforth x you #derek danforth x reader #the beekeeper #the beekeeper fanfic #the beekeeper movie #josh hutcherson #josh hutcherson fanfic #josh hutcherson x gn!reader #josh hutcherson x reader #josh hutcherson x you #josh hutcherson smut #mike schmidt x reader #clapton davis x reader #josh futturman x reader #gn reader #gender neutral reader

[osbrnisms]

parksborn rambling <3

(this was so rushed so if theres inconsistencies or things don't make sense, thats why)

nobody in harry's life had ever given him proof that they loved him. his father always showed him the exact opposite of love, preferring to spend his time berating harry for every little thing, never failing to remind him how much of a disappointment he is, how unworthy he is of being part of the osborn legacy. his mother did love him, but she was gone before harry could even understand what the word meant.

the countless flings he had, the partners who claimed they didn't want him for his money, just him (but who would ever really want harry for anything but his money and status?), had cried and moaned out 'i love you' as they kissed their way down his body, only to leave before harry woke the next morning. and harry was fine with that. he was happy, as long as he got to be held and cared for and worshiped even if it was just a moment of fleeting desire and desperation, even if it was just pretend.

after getting out of the hell that was boarding school, he was quick to start gallivanting all over the world, never staying in one place for long, before moving onto the next. he met more people, had more hookups that left him battered and bruised the next day (which, again, was fine, because he was realizing that maybe he didn't deserve to be treated gently), and drank more than he ever had in the past. and his life was Okay.

and then norman osborn was dying, and asking his one and only son to come back home to see him. harry didn't want to go (he did want to go, more than anything, to see if maybe he would finally get an apology or at least any positive acknowledgment from his dear old dad), but he begrudgingly said yes, that he'll be there in the next 48 hours.

the reunion, obviously, did not go as he had hoped. while he had prayed that maybe he would get a sign that norman did actually care about him, all he got was the usual disappointment spiel, and the news that he too had the same disease norman was on his deathbed for. harry wanted to cry, but he wouldn't. he's not sure he could, especially in front of norman.

norman dies shortly after harry leaves, and he's immediately thrust into meeting after meeting since he is the new ceo of oscorp, and this whole mess of a company is his to figure out now. and he's tired, just wants to relax, maybe chug a few bottles of whiskey and─

peter parker wants to see him.

he's skeptical at first, of course he is, his thoughts immediately going to 'maybe he just wants money, he probably doesn't even wanna see me, just wants to see how much i'll give him'.

and he's wrong. he is so wrong.

because this beautiful, beautiful boy (harry's not ashamed to admit that yes, he's only aware of his attraction to men because of peter) in front of him is asking how he is, if he's okay, that he's here for him, and harry wants to turn him away. because he knows peter will stop being worried and stop caring once he realizes how rotten and broken harry is. but he doesn't.

harry gets his best friend back, at least for a little, before 'the osborn curse' is the only thing going through his mind.

they fight, harry begging peter to get spider-man's blood because 'that's the only thing that can save me pete please', peter refusing because 'what if it doesn't? we don't know that it will, and i'm not taking that chance. not with you'.

they kiss. they don't talk about it.

the situation just gets more and more messed up, spider-man visits him, refuses to give harry his blood, harry has a breakdown, discovers that the people at oscorp are fucking insane, using his name for experiments he supposedly approved of, then they want him out, planning to overthrow him as ceo of his own goddamn company.

he loses his mind again, turns into this monster in an attempt to save himself (he's pretty sure he killed someone in the process), and peter's spider-man, and peter's ex-girlfriend is here, and he almost kills her, and then everything just stops.

it's apparently a week later when he comes to again. he's in a room that's too fucking bright, a hospital room he assumes, and he's hooked up to a variety of machines. and peter's asleep in the chair next to the bed harry's in, their hands intertwined.

it takes harry a minute to find his voice, a whole minute just to pathetically croak out, 'peter?'

peter wakes, makes eye contact with harry for the first time in what feels like forever, and just breaks.

'fuck, you're awake. oh my god, har, they didn't know if you'd wake up, and i was so scared, because i really can't lose you, man. not again, 'cause i just got you back, and i missed you more than anything, and i'm sorry for everything that happened, but you're cured now, which is good, and you're gonna be okay and─"

peter eventually runs out of breath from rambling, and harry lets out a wheezy laugh.

'missed you too, pete.'

peter smiles at him, harry smiles back.

they kiss. and they kiss again. and again. and again. and again. and again. and again until they are just laughing against eachother's lips, harry pulling away to look at peter.

peter stares right back at him, cupping his cheek, his smile never leaving his face.

'i love you. so much. so fucking much, har. don't want you to leave ever again.'

and harry tenses. because people have said it before, and have never meant it. but something about peter makes him want to believe what he's saying.

'are you sure? 'cause dude, i'm a fucking mess, and─'

peter kisses him again, shutting harry up. it's a longer kiss than just their pecks from before, a kiss that if it could be translated into words would say,

'i'm sure. i'm here. i love you.'

peter pulls away this time, resting his forehead against harry's.

'i'm 100% sure, i swear, i've never been more sure of anything ever. and i'm gonna spend the rest of my life proving that to you, okay?'

it's not much of a question, more of a promise, one that peter's forever going to keep.

'okay.'

it doesn't matter to peter that it takes years for harry to fully believe it, that it takes him two to say it back, that it takes him ten to say yes to peter's marriage proposals, that it takes him fifteen to be ready to start a family. the only thing that matters is harry osborn is loved, and he knows it.

#harry osborn #parksborn #peter parker #spiderman #tasm #tasm 2 #tasm harry osborn #tasm parksborn #tasm peter parker #the amazing spider man

[choke-me-joey]

Ch1/ Ch2 /

Summary: As Joe's long-term girlfriend, you reflect on your relationship over the last 4 years.

Content warning: 18+ so minors are not welcome, real person fiction (don't like, don't read, don't bitch), smut, fluff, angst, probably inaccurate timelines and processes but does anyone really care?, alcohol use, smoking...if I've missed anything please let me know!!

Author's note: okay so I was not expecting people to like this as much as they did 🥹 so here is chapter 2!! I'm currently juggling this, Hoe-vember and Matching Tattoos part 2 sp bear with if there are mistakes! I originally wrote this in first person (ick) so if you see any 'I' or 'my'.....mind ya business 🫣

London, England

September 2018

"-mum, I've really got to go, I'm running late...yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll make sure to call her, okay? Bye, mum, love you!"

You hang up the call and groan in frustration, shoving your phone in your bag with one hand, balancing your coffee and your Oyster card in the other. You manage to get through the gate without causing too much of a hold up, bolting down the escalator to the platform.

"Fuck!" You growl, as the train you were running for left the platform within seconds of your feet touching the ground. You sigh, taking a seat on the grubby bench and waiting for the next one, which, thankfully what with this being London and all, wasn't long.

You jump up, protecting your bag and coffee as you get on the already insanely crowded train. You look around desperately for a seat, of which there were none, so you stand in between a very miserable looking middle aged woman and a taller guy with curly brown hair. He has his back to you, engulfed on his phone. You squeezed in and took a hold of the bar above your head as the train began to move.

You stare awkwardly ahead of you, sipping your coffee with your free hand, being careful not to bump curly haired guy with your arm. As the train approaches your station and slows, people scramble towards the door. You wait patiently rather than getting caught in the sea of people.

You don't notice curly hair guy next to you moving his arm to put his phone in his back pocket, and before you know it you’ve been elbowed in the boob at a rather vicious velocity. The pain that follows makes you want to cry.

"Fuck!" You hiss, and the knee jerk reaction to jump away from whatever has just hit you causes you to spill your 'travel friendly' coffee cup and its contents all over your jacket. The cup crashes to the floor and everyone stares. "Oh shit!" You curse, staring down at your stained jacket.

"Oh shit, I'm so sorry. Are you okay? Oh shit, here let me-"

The guy bends down and picks up your cup, handing it back to you. You look up from the damage to your jacket and into the most beautiful pair of big, brown eyes you have ever seen.

"Thanks," you mumble, taking the cup back from him. The next thing you know the doors have closed and the train is moving again. "Oh goddamn it!"

"I am so, so sorry." The guy next to you says again, looking extremely guilty as coffee practically drips off you. Luckily, a sweet old man hands you a pack of tissues, and you thank him, dabbing away at your clothes as best you can with the hand that wasn't holding your cup and bag. "Please, let me help, it's the least I can-"

"It's fine, really," you say, a little too quickly, and he looks a little hurt. You sigh, passing him your cup and bag. "If you run off with my stuff, I can't be held accountable for what I do." You warn him, and he chuckles, shooting you a smile that literally makes your knees go weak. Even though he almost de-boobed you and potentially ruined your favourite jacket, you can't help but think he is fucking gorgeous.

"I wouldn't blame you, to be honest," he says, still smiling. "Is it fucked?" He asks, his eyes flicking to your jacket.

"I dunno, if I'd have gotten off at my stop I would have been able to get home quicker to throw it in the washing machine and hope for the best," you sigh, almost reaching the end of the pack of tissues. A look of guilt flashes across his face again. "Sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"No, it's fine, I just feel really bad, it's a nice jacket." He bites his lip as you give up trying to dry yourself with the tissues, and take your stuff back from him. The train pulls into another station, and you figure you might as well get off here, and try to get home another way.

"Yeah, it is, but don't beat yourself up about it, accidents happen," you give him a reassuring smile, before getting off the train.

"Wait!" He yells, and you turn around on the platform, seeing him fight his way through the crowd of boarding and departing passengers. He stands in front of you awkwardly. "Um, listen, let me get your jacket dry cleaned for you, to apologise?"

You frown slightly.

"Honestly, it's fine..." you trail off, realising you don't know his name.

"Joe. And please, it'll make me feel less guilty for basically assaulting you."

You sigh, unable to stop a smile spreading across your face. He really was too adorable.

And hot as fuck.

"You're not going to take no for an answer, are you?" You smirk, and he returns it.

"Nope."

"Fine," you roll my eyes dramatically, peeling off your jacket and handing it to him.

"Can I get your number?" He asks, and you're a little taken aback at his confidence.

"Excuse me?"

"I-I'll need to let you know when it's clean and stuff, so I can return it to you," he's blushing now, and you swear your heart is melting. "That's all, i swear I'm not some pervy creep."

"Hmm, I'm pretty sure a pervy creep would say he's not a pervy creep to try and persuade people he's not a pervy creep," you muse, and he laughs, loudly. "But, I'll trust you."

He grins, handing you his phone for ypu to put your number in, under the name "Underground Boob Victim". Once you're done, you pass it back to him, he laughs loudly at the name and then puts his phone back in his pocket. "Okay, well, i should really get going, but thank you, Joe. Just drop me a text or something and I'll meet you to grab my jacket back. It was nice to meet you, despite the whole GBH thing." You tease, hitching your bag up on your shoulder, offering your hand out to him. "I'm Y/N, by the way."

"You mean to tell me Underground Boob Victim isn't your real name?" He smirks and I shrug.

"It's a bit of a mouthful so Y/N is a much easier nickname." You wink, and he laughs again, making you giggle.

"Well, was nice to meet you too, Y/N, sorry again." He takes your hand and shakes it, and you can feel your heart speeding up. "I'll speak to you soon."

--a few days later--

'Hey, it's Joe. Just to let you know your jacket is ready to pick up from the dry cleaner's, if you wanted to meet me in about 30 minutes?'

'Hi! Yeah that's great, thank you so much!'

'It's cool. If you don't mind, i was thinking (ironically) maybe we could go for a coffee or a drink or something after we pick your jacket up? It's okay if you don't want to though!'

'Hmm i dont know if i trust you around any liquids that can stain fabric...but clear alcohol sounds life a safe bet. I'll be there soon!'

-- a week later, still September 2018--

"I'm freaking the fuck out."

"It's just dinner, Y/N. It's not like you've never been out with a guy before! Besides, you've already been out for drinks with him, technically this is your second date" Your best friend and flat mate Zoe is laid on your bed, currently watching you pace up and down your bedroom, chewing your nails as you do. "I swear to god if you don't stop chewing those nails I slaved over, I will end you."

"Sorry, sorry!" You quickly stick your hands in your pockets, sparing Zoe's hard work. "Well, firstly the drinks thing wasnt really a date, he was just giving me my jacket back and just so happened to ask me out. Amd secondly, this isn't just some guy, Zoe, he's like...really hot. And cute. And funny. And he's so easy to talk to. We ended up just chatting shit for two hours in a Starbucks the other day, totally unplanned. He was walking in as I was walking out."

"Cute, maybe you guys can move in together and I won't have to listen to you chat shit for hours every day." Zoe teases and you let out a sarcastic laugh.

"You're just jealous because you dont have anyone to chat your own brand of shit with right now." You tease back, laughing as she flips you off. "He lives with his best friend, maybe if tonight goes well we can double date?"

"If you set me up with a complete and utter loser whilst you make off with the hot one, I'm going to hurt you."

"I've seen a picture or two, he's pretty cute," you laugh, holding up a black roll neck jumper and black skinny jeans. "With my black heeled boots?"

"Perfect, it shows him just how soulless and depressing you really are. You know it wouldn't kill you to wear colour just once."

"Ugh, I would rather die." You mock retch before heading into the bathroom to change.

Forty minutes later, you're dressed and ready and in the back of a taxi headed to the restaurant you and Joe had agreed on, your heart feeling like it's going to burst out of your chest and your stomach churning with nerves. Your phone vibrates in your hand, it's Joe just texting to say he was already at the restaurant, waiting for you in the lobby. You swallow hard, before texting him back that you were on your way.

The taxi gets you to the restaurant exactly three minutes before 7.30pm, when your table was booked for. You spot Joe immediately as you step inside, dressed in a shirt and trousers. He looks up from his phone when he hears the door open and his eyes meet yours, and you both simultaneously break out into a grin.

"Hey," you walk over to him and give him a hug, as per your usual greeting. His usual cologne surrounds you, but it smells a little stronger tonight. He hugs you back just as tight. "Now I feel like I should have dressed up a bit more."

"Don't worry about it, you look really good." Joe assures me.

"Thank you, so do you." You can feel your cheeks warming a little to your utter frustration. Something about Joe always turned you into a fucking giggly schoolgirl on the inside, but on the outside thankfully, you managed to play it off. "Can we go get food now? I'm fucking starving."

Joe laughs loudly.

"I knew there was a reason I liked you."

***

"So, seeing as all our interactions have been totally random and unplanned, I think I should be totally cliché and say, tell me about yourself?" Joe smiles as you pass your menus back to the waiter, having just ordered your food.

"Well, I mean, I don't wanna send you to sleep before the food gets here." You joke, sipping on my glass of water. Joe chuckles, doing the same.

"That's fine, just wake me up when it does get here," he winks and you roll your eyes laughing. "No, I'm just joking, come on, I wanna know stuff about you. Like, what do you do for work? How long have you been living in London?"

"So basically you wanna play 20 Questions?"

"Yep, now go."

"Ugh, fine. I'm a freelance photographer but currently I'm doing a stint as a retoucher for a studio in Central London, I've been living here for a few years as I went to Uni here, but my friend Zoe and I have been renting a flat from her uncle since we graduated. I have a degree in Editorial Photography, I like horror movies and music...that's all I can think of right now...what about you?"

"Um, I'm an actor." He says, looking almost embarrassed. Your eyebrows raise.

"No way?! That's so cool! Anything I'd have seen you in?"

"Uh, maybe, I've been in a couple of TV series, I was in something called Dickensian a couple of years ago, a show called Timewasters, and then last year I was in Game Of Thrones and another series called Howard's End."

"Game of Thrones?? Holy shit, that...wait a minute, Dickensian...shit, I think I watched that with my parents over Christmas when it came out. Oh my god I can't believe I didn't recognise you!"

"Honestly, it's nice that you didn't." Joe admits. "I'm not that well known but I've had a couple of people stop me in the street and it's...bloody weird. Flattering, but weird."

You nod. "I can understand that. So, are you working on anything cool right now?"

"Well not right this second, but this year has been mental. I've done a couple of series and a got a lead in a small film." He grins, clearly less embarassed now.

You can't help but mirror his smile. The waiter comes back with your food and tells you to enjoy.

"So, I'm having dinner with a celebrity right now?" You tease, raising your eyebrow and smirking at him. He rolls his eyes and tells you to shut up, but he's smiling.

A few hours later, your main courses and desserts long gone, you're still sat in the restaurant, deep in conversation. You've covered everything from your childhoods, your favourite movies, tv shows, your families, music, food...the list was endless. As the restaurant closes, you call the waiter over to pay the bill. You rummage around in your bag, pulling out your purse.

"Don't let her pay you." Joe says to the waiter and you glare at him.

"Joe, its fine-"

"Hey, I asked you to come out with me right? Therefore I am paying." He argues, handing over his card to the extremely bored looking waiter, who disappears to get the card machine. "Don't look at me like that, what kind of prick would I be if I expected you to pay on a date?"

You say nothing, but you smile at him, putting your purse away. "If you really want to, you can pay next time."

"There's going to be a next time?" You ask, a teasing tone to your voice, but your inner giggly schoolgirl has practically dropped dead from excitement.

"Well, only if you want, I've had a really good time tonight." He admits, quickly pausing as the waiter comes back and prompts him to enter his card details. "Plus, I still feel guilty for the whole tube thing. But that's not why I asked you out. Fuck, that came out wrong-"

"Joe, its fine, I know what you meant," you laugh, as you stand up, ready to leave. You head outside, and he offers to walk you home, and you continue your discussion about everything under the sun, and more. The whole time, your heart would not calm the fuck down, and you were actually worried he could hear how hard it was beating, especially when his hand accidentally brushed yours.

He pulled his hand back quickly as if he'd been burnt.

"Sorry!" He mumbles, looking as guilty as he did when he elbowed me on the Tube. You can't help but laugh, reaching out and linking your fingers through his.

"There, the scary part's over." You wink at him and he immediately looks relieved, giving your hand a small squeeze. You continue to walk hand in hand to your flat, stopping in front of the steps when you inform him that this was your apartment building. "Thank you for tonight, it was really nice."

"You're welcome," Joe smiles, his fingers still laced with yours. His eyes drift upwards and slightly to the side. "I'm gonna guess that's your roommate?"

You follow his eyeline and sure enough, Zoe is sat in your bedroom window, waving down at you both, a shit eating grin on her face. You groan, rolling your eyes and flipping her off.

"I'm so sorry, I'm gonna murder her," you sigh, feeling mortified as Joe waves back, laughing loudly. "Don't encourage her!" You grab his waving hand and hold it by his side, failing to keep an angry face as you start laughing along with him. "Fuck, I'm sorry, you must think I'm so weird."

Joe raises an eyebrow at me.

"You do realise you're speaking with someone who makes a living from being dressed in bloody period clothing half the time, right?"

"Well actually no, I don't as I've not watched most of your stuff, so there," you grin, poking your tongue out at him. You eventually say goodnight, and he gives you a hug, which you note lasts a few seconds longer than usual. He lets you go, and you slowly walk up the steps to the main door. "Oh, Joe?" You call out as he begins to walk away. He stops and turns.

"Mm?"

"I'll pay next time." You smile, before heading inside and closing the door.

#joseph quinn x you #joseph quinn x reader #joseph quinn fanfiction #joseph quinn smut #joseph quinn fanfic #joseph quinn imagine #joseph quinn #joseph quinn x y/n

[2chopsticks2eyes]

What You Deserve: Part 2

This is part 2 of a three part series, please be sure to start from part one!

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

Pairing: Lee Minho/Lee Know x Fem Reader

Themes: Smut, Angst, Fluff

Word Count: All parts are ~67k | AO3

Warnings: Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, mentions of non-con, PTSD, Anxiety, Alcohol, Cussing, Come Eating, Oral Sex, Hand Jobs, Vaginal Fingering, Blow Jobs, Loss of Virginity, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, References to Drugs, Drug Dealing, Alternate Universe - College/University, Eating Disorders, Childhood Trauma, Vaginal Sex, Protected Sex, Unprotected Sex

Summary: After unfortunate circumstances, you pack up and move to Korea with your best friend Bang Chan to attend college. After falling into Chan's group of friends he had established, you find yourself getting a little too close to the mild tempered and snarky Lee Minho.

Author's Note: I am probably spoiling the whole story with the warnings, but I like to be safe. I originally was only on AO3, but I wanted to link platforms with Tumblr and Twitter too. Hope you enjoy!

________________________________________

Part Two: Discoveries

“Is everything okay with you and Channie-hyung?” You whipped your head around at Felix. You were currently sitting in the passenger seat of his beat up old Toyota Corolla. Chan had left before everyone else to help set up so Felix had offered to drive you to Seungmin’s for the party.

“Of course Lix, why do you ask?” You tried to not actively show how pissed off you were, but you suppose your other flatmate had picked up on the cold atmosphere between you and your best friend.

“It’s just… I don’t know, you two are usually laughing and talking twenty-four-seven and I feel like you two are intentionally avoiding each other now…” You looked at the sweet boy’s face and he seemed genuinely concerned. The boy’s got a goddamn heart of gold.

You breathed a deep sigh and looked forward to the road again. “Yeah, everything will be fine, Lix. We just… we got in a stupid ass fight and I don’t think either of us are ready to hash it out just yet.”

“Oh…” He sounded disappointed as he nodded his head in understanding. “Well, I’m sure you two will work things out fairly quickly! I’ve never seen a pair of friends quite as close as you two are, maybe Minho and Jisung, but none other!” Ugh. Why did he have to bring up Minho? It’s not as if your airhead mind wasn’t already being plagued by the man constantly. The LAST thing you needed was to add fuel to the fire. The fire that may or may not have been burning in your pants. Constantly.

“Thanks, Lixie. That’s sweet of you to say.” You raised your hand and gave him a small pat on his shaggy blonde head as he answered with a squinty smile.

The two of you rolled up and you braced yourself to face Chan as Felix knocked on the expensive apartment building’s door. You two heard a loud ‘COME IN!’ from none other than the ever-yelling Seo Changbin and the two of you tentatively stepped inside.

You stepped out of your shoes in the fancy entryway and rounded the corner on the right to fully enter the apartment. “TA-DAAA!” You stopped in your tracks as soon as you were faced with Jisung and Minho with their arms spread out in presentation of their surprise. And, boy, was it one HELL of a surprise.

Both of them were sporting brand new silky, midnight blueish-black hair. DAMN THOSE TWO FOR WRECKING YOUR HEART! You felt your stomach fall out of your ass and you were cursing them in all languages under the sun. “Holy SHIT.” You didn’t even give two flying fucks that you let that one slip.

“You like it?” Jisung was lightly bouncing, making his fresh new hair floof out in the process. He looked exponentially hopeful of your approval and looked stupid adorable with his cheeky smile.

“Fuck yeah I do!” You walked up to the two boys who smiled at you in suspension of your words. “Damn, you two are looking FINE AS HELL!” You shamelessly brought each of your hands up to their heads to run through their silky locks, to which they allowed with pleasure.

“Good, ‘cause I’d hate to have to redo it if you didn’t.” Minho winked at you and you silently kicked yourself for your dumbass swooning. You had desperately tried to avoid eye contact, but how could you when he looked like a whole fucking SNACK? With his stupid new hair color with his stupid black ripped jeans that hug his stupidly thick thighs deliciously and his stupid plain black t-shirt that would look boring on literally anyone but him, topping it off with that stupid fucking leather jacket that fits him perfectly.

“Psh, I highly doubt my opinion would convince you to go through another color treatment.”

“True, but it’s the thought that counts.” Cheeky bastard.

“Wait, is this why you skipped class?” You wouldn’t put it past him, he’s a fucking god at dancing so he can afford to miss a class or two.

He shrugged. “The world may never know.” He gave another breathtaking wink and you fumed at the damned tease.

You couldn’t help but glance over at Chan who was staring daggers at your interaction with the boys from his position next to Seungmin in the kitchen. You knew it was petty, it really was, but you couldn’t help it. You turned to stand in between the boys and looped your arms through each of theirs tightly. “C’mon, my two favorite blueberries, let’s get trashed!”

- - - - - - - - - -

Everyone sat in a circle around the large coffee table in the living room with their various drinks of liquor, cocktails, beer, et cetera. Chan was on the opposite side from where you were on the couch sandwiched between Jisung and Minho.

“Why can’t I be blueberry number one?” Said a very disgruntled Lee Minho from your left.

“Because she obviously likes me more!” Jisung said from your right, leaning over you to poke his tongue out at his best friend.

You chuckled at the quokka. “It’s because his cute little cheekies are so round and cute like a blueberry. I just want to grab him and squish them!” You took his alcohol flushed face in your hands by his cheeks and smooshed them accordingly, to which he promptly decided to close his eyes and pucker his lips out as you laughed at him.

“Yah! Back off, Han Jisung!” Minho shoved Jisung away from you as the quokka giggled. You felt your ears heat up as you imagined it to be over possessiveness of you. Even though it was stupid... No, IT IS stupid. End of story.

“What? It’s not as if she’s taken hyuuuung.” Jisung taunted his fellow blueberry, who just glowered right back at him.

“No, it’s because she’s just like one of us. One of the guys. Stop harassing her, Hanji.” Chan spoke up from across the table with a dead serious glare. You heard the laughter beside you go quiet and you could feel your anger rise again.

You threw your arm around Jisung’s shoulder. “Cool it, Chan. It’s all for shits and giggles, right Ji?” You could feel Jisung tense under Chan’s menacing eyes.

“Heh, yeah, just all for fun hyung…” He chuckled nervously and you reclaimed your arm from his warmth.

Everyone in the room went silent as you and Chan were having a damned Mexican stand off in the middle of the living room. You abruptly decided to chug your double bourbon and coke in one go and stood rigidly. “Whatever, I’m getting more to drink.”

Once you were in the privacy of the kitchen, you could hear low mumbling coming from the other room. Damnit, Chan! Why are you being like this? I mean... you, yourself, weren’t necessarily helping the situation, but it’s not as if you were intentionally dragging the rest of the group into it!

You refilled the glass of melted ice and you stiffened as you heard footsteps approach from behind you. “Hey…” You physically relaxed. You turned around and presented your most convincing smile to Seungmin.

“Hey, sorry about all of that. Oh! I forgot to tell you congrats buddy! I really like your new place, you must be loaded as hell. How much do you pay for this shit?” He looked utterly unconvinced.

“I appreciate your interest, but you know that’s not what I want to talk about right now.”

You sighed and hung your head. “I know I know, sorry Seungmin. I know we shouldn’t bring our drama into your party… I’m willing to ignore our petty quarrel for tonight if he is, but I really don’t think this is something he and I can solve in just one night.”

He nodded in understanding. “Okay Kiyomi, I appreciate it. I’ll talk to Chan-hyung too. Don’t be too long, okay?”

“Kay…” You gave him a meek grin as he exited the room again, exhaling in defeat once he was gone. Why tonight, of all nights, is it when we fight like this? It’s not like you two were strangers to disagreements and petty tiffs, even so, they were very few and far between so when they happened, it felt ten times worse.

Just as you finished making your drink, you turned to go back to the living room. However, lo and behold, the bane of your existence, Lee Minho crashed right into you as you rounded the corner. Bourbon and coke drenched  the both of you, on display for everyone to see, the darkened drink fully soaked through your white t-shirt. You looked down in horror as your bra became more and more visible through the dampening cloth. Lord, kill me now.

“Aw fuck, Kiyomi, I’m so sorry! Are y–” You flushed in embarrassment as you saw Minho look down at your current situation and you threw your arms over your chest to cover yourself. Minho was quick to turn and face away, but he didn’t cut and run like you had expected. Instead, he slightly spread his arms, fanning out his leather jacket and stepping to the side so that you were out of view from the group. “Where’s your overnight bag?” He said over his shoulder.

“By the front door…” You squeaked out from your mortified state of being.

“Walk behind me over to the guest room and you can shower in the ensuite and change clothes. I’ll leave your bag just inside the door.” He said it to you, but loud enough so everyone would know to piss off and keep it velvet.

“I’ll clean up!” Jeongin jumped up on his feet and you handed the empty glass to Minho for him to pass on to the maknae. The two of you shimmied over and you muttered a small ‘thank you’ as you closed the door behind you. You melted on the other side of the door and buried your face in your hands. You were reminded that, yes, you’re just like one of the guys, however you ARE still a female. Some things you just can’t mutually brush off. You weren’t exactly proud of your lithe body and now the whole group got a good glimpse of it along with your undergarments. 

You groaned in frustration as you stomped off to the shower.

- - - - - - - - - -

Your heart swelled with warmth as you stepped back into the room - your towel wrapped firmly around you - and saw your bag right where Minho said he would put it. It also appeared that he had closed the door and locked it behind him for good measure. He had always been attractive to you, but the act of respect he showed you earlier made him all the more desirable. You were SO far beyond suppressing your fucked up affection for this man.

You shimmied into your mint colored silk pajamas, A cute, collared button-up with matching shorts that actually complimented your slim figure. Not to make an impression or anything. Definitely not… You took a deep breath and mentally convinced yourself to not be awkward when you returned to the party.

As you opened the door, you were relieved to see all of the boys chatting amongst themselves. Changbin and Minho were yelling at each other and being rowdy like usual. You reclaimed your seat in between the blueberries and Felix cooed at you. “Aww your pj’s are so cute, Kiyomi! I’m jelly!”

“Well Chan bought them so go ahead and thank him.” You offered a small smile to your bestie and you felt a bit of weight lift from your shoulders as he returned it. You lightly shoved Minho’s elbow, pulling him from his zoned out state that was focused on your silk nightwear. You mentally patted yourself on the back. “Yah! You’re the one who wasted my drink, go get me a new one!”

He gaped at you in mock offense. “As you command your highness!” You smiled at him with triumphant smugness as he stood from his seat to play bartender.

“Okay!” Seungmin stood up in front of the group. “Before everyone gets shitfaced, we need to go over sleeping arrangements. There are three bedrooms, all with California kings so we can fit three on each, we just need to figure out who’s sleeping with who.”

Chan looked at you warily. “Are you sure it’s a good idea for Kiyomi to sleep with two of us?” Minho returned and silently passed your mixed drink to you which you accepted with an exaggerated bow.

“What’s the big deal, Chan? You and I would sleep together most nights when I stayed at your place growing up. Or would you rather me sleep on the couch?” You knew that would strike a nerve, but you needed to make your point clear. 

“No–” Minho and Chan eerily said in tandem, making them awkwardly glance at one another.

Chan added, “Absolutely not.”

“You're not sleeping on any damn couch.” Minho’s face was stern and it got you super heated to see him be so serious. The group looked confused at their outburst. 

You looped your arms around the two boys on each side of you. “If that's the case, I’ll just cuddle up with my adorable blueberries!” You swiveled your head back and forth like an oscillating fan at the two and watched as they both suppressed their endeared smiles. And you may or may not have minded the idea snuggling up to Minho in the sheets…

“Fine, do whatever you want…” Chan crossed his arms and sighed. At least he was backing off a bit. Maybe?

“We’ve decided to play ring of fire like old times, I’ve already translated and explained the rules to everyone. You cool with that?” Chan sounded surprisingly calm in contrast to his earlier demeanor. You’re grateful that he is trying to be civil for the party. Even if you know you two will be at each other’s throats when you return home.

“Hell yeah I’m cool with that! I feel like I’m back in high school, hiding out in your parent’s shed.” Chan huffed a suppressed chuckle.

"Yeah, and I had to nurse your wasted ass back to consciousness." A wide smile spread across your face at the memory. You were abruptly startled as Minho grabbed the drink you’re sipping on and took a swig of it for himself.

“What a rebellious little mouse. I never would have guessed.” You scoffed at him and snatched the iced beverage back from his hands.

“Well there’s a lot of things you don’t know, kitty cat.” That’s the understatement of the century. You petulantly poked your tongue out and he returned it in kind. Bad idea, I don’t need to see his tongue right now. What is wrong with my BRAIN?!

“Yah! Let’s get this show on the road, everyone!” Changbin fucking screamed from his place on the other side of Minho. Everyone covered their ears instinctively, Hyunjin - the drama queen - writhed around as if he was bleeding out.

“Hyuuuung, I’m right next to you! For the love of god, shut the fuck up!” Jeongin collapsed against Chan on his left with his fingers in his ear sockets. Minho joined the yelling with a ‘yah!’ of his own, making you crash into Jisung in an attempt to escape the noise, earning a laugh from the quokka.

Once Chan and Felix situated the game together and plopped a large beer can in the center, the boys were itching to begin. And to be honest, you were too, many fun times flooded your memory as you peered down at the game, filling your brain with pure bitter-sweet nostalgia.

Several rounds passed and you ended up being picked as Jisung’s ‘mate’ when he drew an 8, making you have to join him every time he was forced to take a drink. Which was a SHIT TON apparently with how horrible he was at this game. People had several varieties of drinks in their hands so the ‘pot’ on the side of the ring was filled with an absolutely repulsive concoction by the time the fourth King was drawn by none other than the little baby bread. He swore to the heavens that he would never play this game again as he gagged copiously.

With each Jack that was drawn came worse and worse rules. First, everyone simply had to say something nice to the person on their left any time they had to drink - courtesy of sweet Felix.

Jisung drank a lot so you were basically showered with exaggerated compliments. However this meant you also had to drink, showering Minho with little sassy remarks like ‘I guess you are tolerable’ and ‘you dance pretty good for a man with acrimony tendencies’. He was constantly sour back at you but you could tell it was all in good fun. You quite enjoyed playing with him. Uhm... well maybe not like that... Even though you wouldn't exactly mind that either... Oh god, don’t be dirty minded stupid brain.

Second Jack was to completely speak in third person, if you didn’t you had to take a straight shot of Jäger. A few got caught on that one, but not as many as you had expected.

Thirdly, nasty ass Minho decided you needed to literally lick the bottom of Jisung’s foot if you didn’t end every one of your sentences with ‘I am Minho’s bitch’. And, let me tell you, everyone avoided that penalty like the damn plague. Much to Minho’s dismay, everyone escaped that fate.

And lastly, the final Jack to be drawn landed in the almighty Hwang Hyunjin’s greedy hands. Everyone hunkered in suspense as he conjured up the final rule with an evil grin.

“Okay I’m ready!” He sat up straight with pride written across his angelic face. “Any time you cuss…” You can already predict everyone to fail. “…you have to kiss the person on your right. With. Tongue.”

Jaws dropped across the room. “Damn, babe. You’re ruthless.” Felix said with a hungry smile from Hyunjin’s left.

“And you love me for it. Now pay up.”

“Hell yeah I do.” Felix harshly grabbed his boyfriend’s face and smashed their mouths together in a passionate kiss. The room was equally filled with either cooing at the couple or sounds of disgust. “You do realize that Ji is probably going to have to swap spit with me, right?” Felix realized this as he pulled away.

Hyunjin just shrugged his shoulders. “Collateral damage I guess.”

“Hyunjin, you’re the devil incarnate. You know the majority of us curse like sailors.” Hyunlix just cackled at the Chan’s devastated reaction.

Meanwhile, you were legitimately having an internal melt down due to the fact that, against all odds, you could end up not only making out with one, but both of your blueberry boys. If Minho cusses, you might as well die on the spot.

“Piglet, if you mutter a single goddamned word, I will throw you in a legitimate meat grinder.” Minho was seething at Changbin sitting on his left who looked like his soul just evacuated from his body. He nodded in compliance without another word.

The game moved on and the air was thick with tension, most everyone had resorted to silence, save for Felix who just wanted to suck Hyunjin’s face off.

When Jisung failed the category game again, you groaned in frustration at having to take another drink with your ‘mate’. “Ughhh, what the actual fuck Jisung?! I swear, you're doing it on purpose just to spite me!” Everyone gasped and gawked at you. Your peculiar expression portrayed your pure confusion to the men. What the hell happened? Oh… Ohhh fuck.

Your eyes were as wide as saucers as you stared down at your lap in disbelief. You refused to make eye contact with both Minho nor Chan as you turned to face Jisung’s cheeky grin.

“Hyunjin, I would like to worship you for this glorious moment in my lifetime. I have truly been blessed.” He bowed to the tall man as deep as he could manage in his seated position to which the action was returned. When he turned back to you he gave you a soft look.

“Don’t worry baby, I’ve been told I’m an excellent kisser.” You saw his eyes float down to your lips eagerly. It’s not like you hated the idea of kissing Jisung, he was incredibly handsome and his lips definitely looked kissable as fuck, but he was just the cute little quokka you have come to know and love. Your mouth craved a different set of lips...

“Jisung…” You were flabbergasted as Minho and Chan spoke up at the same time again, both with same murderous expressions. You at least knew why Chan was being an ass, but Minho? It was beyond puzzling as to what was going on in his mind. Don’t even think about it…

“Oh come on you two, stop babying her! It’s just a game!” Seungmin was obviously thoroughly enjoying the show from his spot between Hyunjin and Chan.

You chuckled, a little more relaxed from the puppy’s lightheartedness. “Okay you feisty quokka, get over here…” He was already sitting fairly close to you, but he scootched closer nonetheless. It’s just a kiss, no need to make it weird, right?

You made the first move as you placed your palms on his chubby cheeks and pulled him in close. You felt his hands respectfully gently rest high up on your waist as your lips lightly touched.

“We need to see tongue, you scaredy cats!” Right. That. You initiated the task - reminded by a fairly tipsy Jeongin - by slipping your tongue out to meet his.

He wasn’t lying when he said he was a good kisser. Not too slobbery and not too stiff, a proper, sensual kiss. If this were... someone else... you would want to kiss them for days on end. The only problem was the fact that there were no sparks. No stirring feeling in your gut that indicated you really wanted it. Nothing like your most recent kiss…

You felt a broad hand wrap around your forearm as you were being yanked backward. “Okay! That’s enough! We get it! Task done. Move on.” Minho announced a bit too loudly as he released his vice grip on your arm.

“I am officially the luckiest man in the room!” You laughed at Jisung's proclamation when his hands lifted in the air. You couldn’t help but glance in Minho’s direction as Jisung reiterated his happiness. He was glowering down at you with fire and hunger in his eyes like you had never seen before and you felt heat zap up your spine and reddening your face. Welcome back butterflies.

“I beg to fucking differ!” You watched as Felix dived on top of Hyunjin to execute his ‘penalty’.

You heard Changbin clear his throat. “Well then… that was hot as h—“ you heard him pause and shrink away from Minho in terror as he caught his own curse. “-hhhhades! Y-yeah. Hades. *Ahem*” You could almost visibly see him mentally seal off his speech from then on.

“Are we going to continue the game or not?” Chan was visibly fuming, glaring daggers across the table as Jisung feared for his life.

“Cut it out Daddy Bang Chan, it’s just a game.” Felix rolled his eyes and took his turn. 

As the game went on, of course Jisung ended up cussing. Everyone hollered as Jisung and Felix got down to business, except for of course Hyunjin who just grimaced and turned away.

“You asked for it, hyung!” Jeongin pointed out to the disgruntled ferret, already sloshed from the nasty concoction earlier.

The tab on the beer can in the middle of the circle got progressively closer to popping the seal as the previously drawn cards filled the space underneath where everyone had slipped them to fit. Everyone held their breaths as the next person after the next entered their card carefully, praying they wouldn’t hear the telling *tsss* that indicated the seal had been broken.

Minho tactfully drew from the circle, making sure not to break the ring of cards. “Four is for whores! Drink up, whore!” An extremely wasted Felix pointed at you from the other side of Jisung. You loopily giggled as you gulped down the fifth glass of your watered down alcohol from the ice that has melted. You had an extreme lack of judgment as you leaned your dizzy body to rest against Minho’s shoulder. You immediately noticed how he tensed up.

“Fuck it.” Your brain glitched over Minho's cursed words and you peered out at the group of bewildered faces. Minho then decided to unceremoniously shove his card under the tab of the can - with no small amount of force - and promptly popped the seal, indicating the end of the game.

Your mind was in overdrive as you watched him fulfill his duty of chugging the whole can in one go and crunching the empty aluminum container once it was empty. Without warning, his warm hands cupped the sides of your jaw and angled your head up to meet his.

Your body was on fire. His eyes were ravenous and you could feel yourself drown in them as he pulled you closer, lungs refusing to cooperate. When his lips touched yours, everyone in the room disappeared, leaving only the two of you sitting blissfully in the universe. Your lips intertwined freely and your tongues explored each other’s mouths.

He tasted like shitty beer and liquor, but you had never tasted anything more addicting. You could feel your fingers involuntarily glide through his dark locks of silky hair and his thumbs caress where they were placed on your cheeks. Holy fucking hell please don’t let this be a dream.

Your euphoria was abruptly stolen from your grasp as you felt the warm hands and lips leave your skin hastily. Your drunken mind made you want to cry from the loss.

When you opened your droopy eyes, you jolted to your feet - making you stumble gloriously - when you saw that Chan had yanked Minho away and was holding him up by his shirt collar. “What the FUCK, Minho?! The game was over! You didn’t have to force yourself on her like that you piece of shit!” Minho’s face was completely devoid of emotion as his friend cursed at him.

“CHAN!” With all of your intoxicated might, you shoved your best friend away from Minho. “He didn’t force shit on me and you know it!”

The rest of the room had also jumped to their feet and were ready to intervene if things got ugly. “Hyung, it was just a part of the game…” The sweet maknae tried to insert a voice of reason.

“In his defense, Chan-hyung, he technically broke the rule before the game was officially over.” Jisung hid behind Changbin as he tried to protect his best friend.

You and Chan glared daggers at each other while the room fell silent. “Whatever, Y/N. You don’t want me to care anymore? Fine. Here’s me not giving a damn.” With that, Chan stormed out of the room and shrugged on his coat, slamming the front door behind him as he left the apartment. He barely ever uses your given name.

You don’t know when it had happened, but tears were cascading down your face in buckets. You hid your face in your hands to shield your ugly-ass crying face from your friends.

You felt the warm arms of the man at your back wrap around your front in a tight hug. “I’m s-so *hiccup* sorry Min…” You refused to reveal your face from your safe space in your palms as you choked on your sobs.

“Shhh, it’s okay, I’m not hurt. It’s my own dumbass fault anyway.” He chuckled. You know he was just trying to cheer you up, but it just made you sob more.

You could hear shuffling throughout the room and you could feel another pair of arms wrap around you. You were almost positive that it was Felix from the lithe frame of the body. Then you felt another, then another. You were afraid to look up and see just how many of your friends were trying to comfort you.

“You know he’s just trying to protect you, noona. You know that right?” You weakly nodded your head and assumed Seungmin could see it from wherever he was at.

Once you felt the sobs that were wrecking your body subside, you lifted your head from your hands and saw all seven of the boys crowding around you. You were exponentially emotional from the situation and you felt extremely undeserving. Chan was the reason you were here with them. Hell, Chan was the reason you were even still alive, really.

“I need to make this right…” You started stumbling towards the door.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Changbin had a hold on your wrist. “It’s the middle of the night and your fucking plastered, NO WAY are we going to let you go chase him around when it’s dark out and you’re as boiled as an owl!” He pulled you back to the group as Jisung and Minho bracketed you on each side and threw their arms over your shoulders.

“Let’s get to bed, Kiyomi. You can talk to Channie-hyung in the morning.” Jisung smiled at you brightly and you returned it with a weak grin.

“Okay…” You took one last look at the front door and worried about your best friend. He had been drinking too...

After everyone bid good night to each other, you quickly texted Chan.

 

Kiyomi😈:

Let me know when u get home, kay?

We can talk in the morning but I really do love u Channie…

G’night pup.

You tense in anticipation when you receive a text almost immediately after.

Channie🐺:

I’m home

It takes a minute longer but then you see another message appear.

Channie🐺:

I love u too, sis…

Get some sleep, sweet dreams

You could almost cry in relief when you felt that your relationship wasn’t completely in shambles. How could it be? You two were family. Always would be.

The three of you crashed onto the California king bed together in the room with the ensuite. Jisung on your right side and Minho on your left. It felt weird, almost wrong , to be laying in bed with two incredibly attractive men. But to you, they weren’t really labeled strictly as the opposite sex, they were so much more to you.

The two boys hugged you on each side, squishing you into a sandwich and squeezed a strangled giggle out of your mouth. When they relaxed their grip, you couldn’t control the words that fell out of your gob. The phrase being all-too-common coming from your mouth. “I don’t deserve you guys…”

“Stop saying nonsense.” Minho cupped his hand over your mouth while Jisung tickled your sides. 

“Ack! Okay! Okay!” You cackled at the feeling. You brought your hands up to rest on both of the arms that were wrapped around your tummy and you sighed in content as you closed your eyes.

- - - - - - - - - -

You slowly regained consciousness as you felt a rustling in the bed next to you. As you turned your head, you saw the warmth of Minho leave the bundle of blankets that incased the three of you. Just as he was about to leave, your arm moved on its own to grab onto his wrist.

“Please don’t leave…” Your half asleep slur made him smile and sit back down.

He patted your head that most likely looked like a rat’s nest. “I’m not, little mouse, don’t worry. I’m just going to get some water.” His words were hardly above a whisper.

“Oh…” You reluctantly released his wrist and he briefly rested his hand on the back of yours. “...well…I want some too, then.”

“As you wish. I’ll be right back.” Not even a witty quip back?

It took a couple minutes, but he eventually creeped back in the room quietly, not wanting to disturb the sleeping quokka. The water was nice and cold and soothed the stinging acid left behind by the liquor. He crawled back in bed next to you as you sipped on the refreshing liquid. When you handed it back to him, he took a few large gulps for himself and sat the glass down on the nightstand.

The two of you naturally faced each other with Jisung at your back. You and Minho laid there and stared into each other’s sparkling eyes. For some reason it didn’t feel awkward. It felt sweet and intimate as if unspoken words were lingering in the air between the two of you.

Your mind wandered back to when he broke the rule in the game. It was beyond obvious to everyone of the risks and tension of the penalty. ‘Fuck it.’ Fuck it, he said. There’s no way that was an accident. Well, you know what, you agreed with him. Fuck it, there was no point in holding back now.

Faster than you intended, you scooted closer to him in bed and grabbed his head with both hands, fingers running through his silky hair yet again. You didn’t think you’d ever be able to get over his beautiful mane. No matter what color. Your eyes moved from his blown out eyes down to his plush lips. The expression on his face was equal parts of surprise and anticipation.

This moment. This is what you’d been longing for. You pressed your lips to his and he eagerly returned the kiss, snaking his arm underneath you so he could wrap both hands securely around your waist. The kiss stayed slow and controlled, the both of you simply enjoying the relief of each other’s touch. Fucking finally.

You were only mildly aware of the sleeping quokka behind you, but what he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. Right then, it was only you and Minho, and he was way more intoxicating than anything you had drank that night.

There was a growing ball of heat that consumed your core and you felt like it was best to break the kiss before you lost all sense of proper judgement. You backed away with one last chaste kiss and stared into his eyes once more, heavy breathing emitting from both of your chests. You couldn’t control the huge smile that made your cheeks ache in a happiness that spread across your face.

He returned it in kind. “I kind of like you, little mouse. I think I’ll keep you.” You scoffed at his whispered words, but the annoyance wasn’t able to reach your face as the smile still consumed the space.

“Wow, what a smooth talker. Oh how it makes me swoon.” He chuckled and it seemed - no matter how hard he tried to suppress it - he couldn’t shake his own smile either. You watched his face get nearer and saw as his vision focus on your lips. You prepared for another heavenly kiss, but you suddenly felt yourself being pulled away.

Jisung had apparently rolled over and decided he wanted to cuddle in his sleep. His arm was pulling you in by your waist and his face was buried in the crook of your neck, lightly snoring like a baby pug. You and Minho shared a perplexed expression and when your eyes met, the two of you bursted out in giggles that wrecked your bodies.

The whole bed was shaking from the both of your guys’ hysteria. It was a damn miracle that Jisung didn’t wake up. That boy slept like the dead.

After several moments of smiles and light pecks, you and Minho fell back asleep with fingers intertwined.

- - - - - - - - - -

Boop.

Boop. Boop.

You wrinkled your nose in irritation.

Boop.

You groaned at the pokes you felt across your face, disturbing your sweet dreamland of pancakes and bacon. You could almost smell the delicious scent from the vivid images your mind had conjured up.

Boop.

“Kiyooomi… wakey-wakey…” You smiled at the warm, deep voice of Felix on the other side of your slumbering eyelids. Without much thought behind it, you reached out to the void in front of you until your hands found the small arms of the boy and you pulled him down for suffocating cuddles. “Haha! Kiyomi, you faker!”

He wrapped his arms around you to return the embrace. “Ten more minutes, Lixie. I feel like I just woke up from my deathbed.” You snuggled into his chest and felt the dark clouds return to your consciousness.

“GOOOOD MORNING, SUNSHINES!” Your eyes flew open to the sight of a flying quokka landing a full lunge onto yours and Felix’s balled up forms. You groaned loudly as he joined in the cuddle party. “Wake up lady! Changbin-hyung and Minho-hyung are making breakfast for our sorry, hungover asses.”

You quickly sat up and realized that that smell wasn’t from your dream as your body floated on its own to follow the delicious scent. “Holy fuck. Why didn’t you say so Lix? I’m starving.”

The small blonde shrugged and followed you out. “I was enjoying the cuddles.”

You could feel the smile overflow your face as you stepped into the kitchen and saw the two boys hard at work. Just like your dream had envisioned, a fluffy stack of pancakes and a simmering pile of bacon made their appearances to the side of the work space. You squeezed in between the two men that were diligently working together by the stove and threw your arms over both of them.

“You guys are my goddamn guardian angels. I thought I was going to die.”

“That's a shame. If you died, we could have had sausage and bacon.” You shoved Minho’s chuckling frame to the side.

“I take it back. You–” You pointed at Minho. “-asshole, are a whole damn slice of devil’s food cake.” You shot an exaggerated set of piercing eyes in his direction.

“Is that so? How do I taste?” The man looked like a predator stalking his prey as he scooted back over close to you. You felt your whole face light up in flames and butterflies stir in your gut as you stepped away from his tempting smile. You taste how a motherfucking dose of black tar heroin does to a drug addict. You moved to the other side of Changbin, out of sight from your personal demon.

“Can you two stop dicking around? You’re going to mess up the perfection of my flapjacks.” Changbin whined with an over-concentrated look on his face as he poured another circular form on the skillet.

“Hyung, let’s be real, it was ruined as soon as you took over the task.” Felix said from his spot by the sink, washing his hands.

“Yah! Do you not want any Yongbokkie?!” 

“Sorry Binnie-hyung! Love yooou!” Felix hugged Changbin around the neck briefly and you followed the ball of sunshine to help as he scurried away to set the table.

- - - - - - - - - -

“Lix, don’t worry about driving me back home. I’m going to get a head start so I can talk to Channie, okay?” You had finished your breakfast - barely making a dent before you felt like you were going to burst - and were walking out of the kitchen after you cleaned your dishes. You didn’t eat an extraordinary amount, but you felt more full than you had in weeks. To say the least, Minho was not happy with the amount of leftovers you slid off onto Changbin’s plate.

You informed the other of your plan when you passed the Aussie in the dining room as you headed back to the room to collect your things. “You sure?” His words were muffled with the amount of food stuffed in his freckled cheeks and you nodded with a confident smile on your face.

“I’ll help you get your things together.” Minho stood from the table and followed close behind you as you stepped into the room. 

Once you were safely inside, you froze in your tracks when you heard Minho shut the door behind him. You slowly turned around to face him with an apprehensive expression, heart thumping in your chest as you waited for his next move. But as you looked at his face - where you had expected to find amorous fires emitting from his eyes with a confidence that only Lee Minho could exude - instead, there was a somewhat insecure longing. You had never seen such a look on him, but damn him to hell for looking so freaking beautiful no matter what expression he held.

“Y/N…” He took a hesitant step towards you. “You know that I like you… right?”

You had never seen him so unsure of himself. He always held a confident and intimidating attitude that melted you to the spot, so this reaction was quite startling. You wanted to take away anything that could possibly make him feel anything less than the force of nature he was.

You smirked up at him to stride over to where he was standing, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Unless you kiss everyone like that, I would say I’ve had an inkling.” You could feel him physically relax under your touch and finally felt his muscular hands slither around your waist.

“I wouldn’t necessarily say quite like that, but my cats definitely get plenty of my smooches.” His wink and blinding smile had returned to his face and you could feel it carry over to your own. You felt magnetized to him as your arms subconsciously pulled him down for a reassuring kiss. It sure as hell felt real now. Now that neither of you were drunk or half asleep, the both of you moved like it had always been that way.

The arms that wrapped around you made you feel even tinier than you already were with the way they almost doubled over around you. The warm pressure of his lips made you sigh in pleasure and you found yourself reaching up on the points of your toes to get closer to him. The tongue that snaked out to meet with yours tasted like butter and maple syrup and you drank in the pure bliss the taste brought to you.

You lightly gasped as he pulled your body flush to his and you felt your skin set aflame when his fingers glided up and down your back through the thin material of your top. The skin on the back of his neck felt like lava and you skimmed your fingers underneath the collar to try and feel of more of the satin flesh. You were visibly keening when you felt his fingers find the bottom hem of your silk shirt to do the same.

“Hyung, can you help me w–” You almost screamed when you heard none other than Han Jisung step into the room, but your voice couldn’t express more than a squeak. Minho looked indubitably pissed when you jumped backwards and he whipped around menacingly to face his best friend.

Jisung quickly stepped inside and shut the door behind him. “Ji, wait, it wasn’t w–”

“Well well well! It’s about damn time you made a fucking move, hyung!” Jisung crossed his arms and rolled his eyes at Minho while your brain short circuited. “I was prepared to tell her MYSELF if you kept your gob shut any longer.”

You stared at the pair, completely lost. “W-what?” You looked at Minho expectantly.

He meekly turned back to you as he scratched the back of his neck. “I may have *ahem* mentioned once or twice that I kind of have a thing for you…” He chuckled nervously. So… this wasn’t a new thing for him? He’s had these feelings for a while now? Holy shit…

“He only told me, though. I’m pretty sure everyone else is completely oblivious. Even though I'm not sure how they could be when he looks at you the way he does.” Blueberry #1 just stood there with a smug look on his face when Minho turned his attention back to him.

The feline took a step toward the quokka with malice. “YEAH, which is why that bullshit you pulled last night with your filthy lips was NOT FUNNY.” 

Jisung put his hands up in defense. “Hey, I’m not the one that cussed, she was! Besides, how else was I going to pressure you to get the fuck on with it?”

You stood flabbergasted as you watched the boys bicker. Minho rolled his eyes. “Well you definitely seemed a bit overeager to get your hands on her…” You had then decided that Minho's pouting was now one of your favorite things to witness.

“Can you blame me though? I haven’t gotten any action in AGES and she’s actually a fucking goddess with those lips!” Jisung threw you a sly wink, making you blush furiously.

Blueberry #2 came back to you and wrapped an arm around your waist. “Yeah, I know. So get your own, Sungie! And give us some goddamn privacy while you’re at it.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” He traipsed over to the door and started to step out before turning back. “But, Kiyomi, if you ever change your mind, you know where to find me.” He flashed yet another crooked grin and winked at you once more.

You couldn’t help but giggle when Minho threw a pillow directly at Jisung’s face, the latter closing the door before it could meet its mark. You heard the fading sound of laughter from the quokka on the other side as he walked away.

You felt an overwhelming sense of giddiness consume you. You gently walked up to the man still glaring at the closed door and placed a hand on his shoulder, guiding him to turn around and face you. “Hey Min?”

As he turned around, his face softened. He brought his left hand up to cup your cheek. “What’s up, my little mouse?” You blushed and look down with a smile on your face, suddenly feeling shy under his intense gaze. “Oh? What’s this? The girl that was sucking on my tonsils a few minutes ago is feeling shy?”

Damn him, he’s not wrong… You harshly punched him in the shoulder. “It’s not like you were any better! Anyway, as much as I would love to bicker over swapping spit, Chan is probably waiting for me…” You turned to collect your things and you felt a strong hand pull you back.

He abruptly spun you around to roughly grab your waist and - in contrast to his hands - he gently pressed his lips to yours. He sensually moved his mouth against you, not quite chaste, but also not quite open-mouthed. “When will I see you next?” He breathed against your lips.

You felt dizzy from his proximity and ethereal face. “I... I don’t know… it depends on how my talk with Channie goes. I’ll text you, but I might not see you until class on Monday.” He pulled back with reluctance.

“Okay, well… I hope everything goes okay. I know he loves you unconditionally and he means well, so I hope you two go easy on each other.” 

You smirked at his comment. “Wow, I think that’s the softest, most heartfelt thing I’ve ever heard you say!” You grabbed his shoulders and turned him left to right as if you were inspecting him. “Is my cat broken?”

He dramatically rolled his eyes at you and suddenly you could see a scheming glint pass over his eyes. You trembled when he stepped closer to you with a bone-chilling smile. He leaned down to whisper in your ear, his lips grazing your lobe. “Would you rather I be rough, little mouse?” His hands landed on your hips and he pulled you flush to him with force. God, I’m a weak, weak woman. You felt like a horny teenager all over again when you found warmth starting to swim through your core, right down to your groin.

You pushed him back in an attempt to avoid the temptation with the whole group just on the other side of the door. “You're the devil, Min. We don’t need the whole friend group to hear you getting ‘rough’.” You tried to glare at him, but you were pretty sure you just looked like a stubborn child.

Where you expected to find more teasing, you found the opposite. “Oh…” He awkwardly dropped his gaze and you wondered if you had said something wrong. “So you don’t want them to know?”

Your heart broke when you saw his downcast face. “It’s not that I don’t want them to know that I’m yours! I'm just not quite ready for Chan to murder you…”

He nodded in understanding, then his face grew that cocky, crooked smile once again. “Sooo, you’re mine?” He bit his bottom lip and all you wanted to do was bite it for him.

“Don’t get cocky, Minnie. You’re still on a tight leash, babe.” What the fuck? The word just instinctively fell out of your mouth and you were mortified at how upfront you were being.

He stepped closer to you again with that darkness in his eyes and regained purchase on your waist. “Babe, huh? I like that, say it again.” He licked his lips and bit it again in anticipation.

You weren’t sure where your sudden confidence came from, but you leaned in close to his ear in preparation to whisper. “I have to leave, baaabe .” You quickly pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek and skipped off to gather your belongings, leaving a blushing statue behind.

- - - - - - - - - -

You took a deep breath as you stood in front of your apartment door. Patience, Y/N. Patience and understanding. Nerves wrecked your body as you opened the door to enter your living room.

You immediately spotted your best friend pacing in front of the kitchen and your heart instantly dropped. He looked awful. His hair was disheveled and there were bags under his eyes as if he hadn’t slept all night. He has insomnia, so you were usually used to this, but he looked way worse than other sleepless nights.

Once your eyes locked, you broke down. You ran up to his anxious form and wrapped your arms around his neck. Tears streamed down your face as he squeezed your waist in a tight hug. “I- I’m so s-sorry Channie. I love you so much and I don’t want us to fight anymore… you deserve someone better than me as a shit friend…”

He squeezed you tighter, leaving you slightly breathless. “Kiyomi, I wouldn’t trade you for anything or anyone on this god forsaken planet. You mean the world to me.” He pulled back and wiped your alligator tears away with his thumbs and laid a small peck on your forehead. “Let’s gather our bearings and veg out to chill for a bit before we work things out, yeah?”

You meekly nodded but refused to let go of his neck. He chuckled at your clinginess and picked you up to lay you on the couch. “I’ll go get snacks, you still want pretzels and chocolate?” You eagerly nodded your head and offered a small smile. No one could ever know you better than Chan.

- - - - - - - - - -

“I- I just don’t think that you need to worry about me 24/7, Channie. I love that you care so much, but I’ve protected myself over these past years that you’ve been gone, haven’t I?”

He hung his head low and nodded. The anime and snacks that had previously been helping to avoid the difficult conversation were completely ignored as the two of you tried to reconcile.

“I suppose that is true. But mom and dad moved you here so I can protect you, love you, and give you a better life. I don’t want to risk you getting a heartbreak or worse from someone who doesn’t love you unconditionally…”

Your face morphed into a sad smile. “Channie, you know that love doesn’t present itself right off the bat, right? If I don’t even get to try, is that really living life to the fullest? I want YOU to date. I want YOU to have a special intimacy with someone. I want YOU to have someone so you don’t feel lonely anymore. I’m not sure if what you have with that one girl is serious, but I have the same fears for you. I don’t want you to get hurt. But even if you do, that is part of the risk of finding someone better.” 

He chuckled under his breath. “It’s times like these where you show that you really are the noona and not the little sis that I treat you like…”

No shit. You smiled at him with the kind of love a mother would give to her child. “So will you tone it down?”

“...I will... try… but please - for the love of god - don’t choose one of our friends. I absolutely love them, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable thinking about any of them…” He shivered in disgust. “...doing… things to you.”

You froze, limbs going stiff and face dropping to a frown. Luckily he was focused on snacking and not your reaction. The ‘things’ that you were wanting to do to Minho flashed through your mind and you knew for sure that Chan would murder him if he ever found out.

You sat there in silence and sadness, but Chan leaned over and hugged you warmly. “I am glad we had this talk, Y/N. I felt awful that we were at odds. I love you so much.” You briefly relaxed and hugged him back.

“I love you too, Channie.” You stared over his shoulder blankly while wrapped in his arms. Now you knew you really had to hide the fact that you and Minho were a thing. A thing? I mean what are we really? You couldn’t help but ponder to yourself, ruminating over the fact that there may or may not be something concrete between the two of you, but you didn’t know what to call it.

When the two of you were ready for bed, you agreed to snuggle that night. The way that you were used to doing growing up when his insomnia was at its worst. He always said it helped him sleep and you definitely felt like he needed the assistance that night.

He laid a kiss on your head as he took over the position of big spoon. “Night, Kiyomi. Love you.”

“Nighty night Channie.” You stared into the darkness and battled with your own thoughts. How am I ever going to tell Chan about Minho?

Needless to say, you didn’t get much sleep that night.

- - - - - - - - - -

Minnie🐱🔥💋:

R u and Chan-hyung all good?

Little Mouse🐭😘:

Thankfully, yes 🙌🏼 

But, um…

Kinda have bad news too…

Minnie🐱🔥💋:

😳 Uh oh

At least ur still breathing

I assume

But do tell

Little Mouse🐭😘:

U free tomorrow?

I don’t have to work tomorrow since it’s a Sunday

Minnie🐱🔥💋:

Hmm 🤔 I’ll have to check my schedule

But I think I can fit u in 😉

Little Mouse🐭😘:

Wow. I’m so touched 🙄

I’m spending a lot of the day w/ Chan

U know, reconciliation and shit

So I’ll probs be there around 7pm

Cool? 👍🏼

 

Minnie🐱🔥💋:

I’ll be waiting 😘

You were nervous and excited that morning. Nervous to tell Minho the uncomfortable news, but excited to spend the day with your best friend and your… ‘Man? Lover?’... whatever Minho was to you - that night.

The day with Chan was spent going to Lotte World. You had never been to an amusement park and Chan was as giddy as a school girl to get to show you around. You had decided that you love roller coasters. The thrill of it gave you tingles in your nerves that made you feel like you were flying. Much like the feeling of riding the motorcycle with Minho.

Chan went all out in giving you the full experience. You were not sure how he possibly could have wracked up that kind of money from his ordinary fitness trainer job, but he sure spoiled you nonetheless. Popcorn, cotton candy, ginormous soft pretzels, hot dogs, and ice cream. That’s not including all of the random carnival games where he won you a mountain of plushies. The most impressive was when he won you a cat stuffed animal that was as tall as a fully grown man when he hammered the high striker.

You couldn’t believe the sights and sounds of laughter and fun that filled the air. You felt like a kid again and Chan was with you through all of it. You looked over at your self proclaimed brother and laughed as he fumbled with all of the plushies. When you reached Felix’s car - that you guys borrowed - and he sat down all of the fluffy toys, you hugged him tightly with a kiss on the cheek.

“Thank you, Channie. You are the greatest man I’ve ever met. You take care of me so well.” He hugged you back impossibly tighter.

“Love you, big sis. You deserve all of the happiness in the world.” You smile and your heart swelled with your love for this man. 

When you got home, you helped him dump all of the plushies onto your bed. You weren’t sure if you should tell him that you were going to Minho’s. Chan was already uneasy with the two of your guys’ relationship and you didn’t want to stoke the fire.

“Hey, Chan. I have some friends that are needing tutoring in calculus tonight and I was going to go help them at one of their house’s.” You felt slightly guilty for the lie, but you knew the risk of telling him the truth.

He gave you a flabbergasted face. “Kiyomi, you absolutely suck at calculus.” He looked so confused and his face twisted extremely crooked. 

Shit, he’s right. I should have picked a different class. You thought you could play it off, but it didn’t even sound convincing to you. “Yeah, tell me about it. I told them that too, but they insisted.”

He slowly nodded his head. “Okay well, be careful and let me know when you get there and let me know when you are headed back, okay?”

You chuckled at his fatherly instincts. “Yes, sir!” You raised your hand to your forehead and sarcastically saluted him, earning a small scoff.

Before you left, you snuck a tiny kitten plushie with you out of the door.

- - - - - - - - - -

You texted Chan to notify of your arrival as you stood outside of Minho’s apartment door. You didn’t know why your nerves were going haywire. You had already stayed there before. Maybe it was because you two weren’t together before? Were you two together? Anyway, let’s get on with it.

Your knuckles rapped on the door panel and almost instantly you see the ethereal being that was Lee Minho standing on the other side of the threshold. All you could muster was a breathless “Hi” as you stepped into his entryway. Once he closed the door behind you, he wrapped his arms around your waist against you in a back hug as you took off your shoes.

“Well hello, little mouse. Fancy meeting you here.” You turned around in his arms to face his smoldering eyes.

“I figured it was a nice spot to chill.” He smirked at you and you could see him lean in for a kiss.

You decided that you wanted him to earn it. Before he could touch down on your lips, you pulled the plushie out from behind you and held it to his face. He looked shocked as he leaned back, unhooking his arms from you. He almost looked hurt from the obtrusion of his advances.

“What the hell is that?” 

“It’s you!” You smiled triumphantly as you held the cat up to his face. “I got it for you! That way you have a little mini Minho to keep you company.”

“Awww” He pinched your cheek. “What a sweet little mouse.” You pierced your lips together and swatted his hand away.

“Well then, I guess if you don’t want it, I can always give it to Ji…” You pulled it away but he snatched it from you quickly and walked away with a grumble. As you followed him, you see that he had placed it on the center of the island in his kitchen.

“There, now I get to see it every morning when I eat breakfast.” He turned around and smiled mockingly down at you. You felt giddy with the way he looked at you, feeling as if you were lucky to even be in the same presence as this man, let alone having intimate encounters with him. You turned around to hide your blushing smile and walked over to plop down on the couch. Not even a second after, the man sat down next to you with his legs crossed, fully facing you. “So what’s the news? No more brownies before bedtime? He needs to walk you home from school?”

His smirk earned an unamused expression from you. “Wow, you’re a true comedian, you know that?”

He simply shrugged. “Maybe I should change jobs.”

The seriousness of this man is severely limited. “I think you’re better at dancing.” You patronizingly patted his shoulder. “No, but Chan and I have restored harmony, which was the biggest relief I’ve ever felt before in my life…” He nodded, but you looked at him hesitantly. “...and he’s okay with me seeing people…” Minho’s face lit up like a damned Christmas tree and your heart sank. “...but… he said he doesn’t want it to be anyone from our circle…”

You deflated when you had to witness his face drop. “W-what? Why?”

You sighed in frustration. “The fuck if I know. Something about him not wanting any of you guys doing ‘things’ to me.” You raised your eyes to the ceiling and then dropped your face into your hands.

“So, is that it? We can’t see each other?” You whipped your head up to look at his frustrated face and you were sure you looked like a terrified puppy as you grabbed onto the hand that was resting on his lap.

“W-well, not necessarily… we just might need to… I dunno, keep it on the down low?”

He held your hand in return. “Well… as much as I would hate to keep you a secret… I suppose it’s better than nothing.” You two sat in comfortable silence for a moment and Minho seemed to be contemplating something. You couldn’t keep your eyes away from his beautiful face, fearing that he was considering that it might not be worth the trouble. That is until he looked up at you with a smirk on his face. “Sooo…” He leaned in a little closer from his spot next to you. “Care to elaborate on the ‘things’ Chan-hyung was worried about?”

You felt the blood rush to your face and nervousness swirl around in your gut. You definitely never anticipated this is where the conversation was going to go, but, hell, no complaints from your end. “Care to take a guess?” You feigned your confidence when, in reality, you felt like you were going to pass out from anxiousness.

“I might have a few things in mind…” He whispered against your lips, suddenly right in front of your face. You felt your resolve crumble as he pressed his lips to yours. A teeny tiny sliver of your subconscious whispered to you that you were betraying Chan, but it was nothing compared to the burning hot desire you were currently feeling.

You basically jumped him as you threw your arms around his neck, making him chuckle as he almost fell back against the arm of the couch from your impact. You wasted no time in coaxing him to let you explore his mouth, which he did so eagerly. You’d never tasted anything more addicting than Minho, hinting at a bit of dark chocolate and citrus.

Your upper body leaned against him, while your lower body remained respectfully seated on the couch. You ran your hands through his hair and under the hem of the collar of his shirt while one of his hands claimed purchase around your waist and the other was rubbing up and down your thigh. And my god did it feel heavenly. He repositioned his crossed legs to halfway sit on the sofa proper while his left leg folded underneath him to lean in closer.

His tongue was extremely experienced and you were sure you were currently soaking in your panties from the intensity of the situation. You decided to take matters into your own hands as you pulled him down on top of you, slotting him in between your legs. You couldn’t help but moan into his mouth when you felt the effect you had on him through his tightening pants.

“God, you’re so sexy.” He whispered as his lips moved to nip at your ear. Your body moved on its own as you grinded up against him, seeking the sweet friction from his body. The sound of heavy panting filled the room and the hands that were currently on your hips slipped down to grab underneath your thighs, lifting them slightly so he could press even closer to you.

You whimpered as he grinded down on you with his mouth sucking on your pulse. You wrapped your legs around him and pulled him impossibly close. You almost felt desperate for more of his touch. You were new to this but all your instincts could think about was feeling him all over.

While your legs were wrapped around him, one of his hands moved from your thigh up to the hem of your shirt, teasing with it to silently ask permission. “Minho, if you don’t touch me right now I think I will actually combust.” You felt his smile against your neck and he roughly grabbed your shirt, leaning back to shuck it off your body.

You slightly felt embarrassed as he intensely looked down at your body, running his hands over your sides and protruding ribs. You could've sworn for half a second you saw a sad smile cross his features, but then he licked his bottom lip as he slid his hands to cup over your bra. You silently praised Felix for the black, lace bra he provided you with. “You're so goddamned beautiful, Y/N…”

You didn’t expect it when he laid himself on top of you again, switching his movements against your lips to a slow, intimate kiss. Your body melted on the spot and decidedly resolved yourself to allow this man to do whatever the fuck he wanted to do to you. Your heart was pounding as you two gently moved your tongues together in a delicate dance, his hands massaging your breasts all the while.

You arched your back as he wrapped his arms around you to allow him to remove your bra, much more controlled than the last time you two fooled around on this couch. He wasted no time in throwing the lacy fabric to the side and running his palms across your bare breasts. No man had ever touched you under your clothes (not welcomed hands anyway) and you felt as if you were hyperventilating.

He flicked his thumbs over your sensitive, pink buds and you couldn’t sustain the squeak that escaped your mouth. “Hmmm, I like to hear my little mouse make those sweet noises.” You were sure your whole body was flushed as he moved his open-mouthed kisses down your chest. You felt another wave of pleasure pulse through your groin as he took your nipple into his mouth and sucked  hard .

You whined as he moved from one nipple to the other as to not neglect the other from his abuse. All you could do was lay there in suspense as he continued the journey of his lips down to your navel, the absence of his hard erection making you whine. “Oh, god, Minnie…” He thumbed at your clit through your jeans and you immediately took matters into your own hands. “Bedroom, now.”

With that, he swiftly lifted you from the couch (Damn, he’s strong) and shuffled to the bedroom to gently lay you down on the bed, quickly pulling off his shirt like a damn porn star and making his dark hair fluff from the friction. You giggled as he pounced on you and peppered kisses all over your face, eventually landing his lips on yours. It was hungry this time, pressing into your mouth furiously.

His hand snaked down to your navel and eventually popped open the button on your jeans. You were almost scared of what was to come, not knowing what to expect with another person’s hands on you. Well… hands that you actually wanted on you. However, this fear was quelled as he reached in and massaged your clit over your panties. Your eyes fluttered closed and you threw your head back with a loud moan, running your hands over his soft, toned chest in an attempt to gain purchase on something to ground yourself.

His mouth moved back down to flick his tongue over your nipples. “You’re so soft, baby.” He gently nibbled the swollen bud and you almost drew blood as you bit your lip. You lifted your hips as he peeled off your skinny jeans and he propped himself up on his knees between your legs. His eyes refused to leave yours as he slid his hands up the inside of your thighs. You were visibly quivering and you were embarrassed of the effect he had on you. 

He smiled down fondly at you. “Don’t be afraid, darling.” He moved one of his hands to caress your cheek. “I’ll take excellent care of you.”

You were speechless as you just nodded at him. He returned to your aching sex and lowered his body to kiss your inner thigh. “Holy fuck…” You breathed in a whimpered tone. You were immediately praising yourself for keeping yourself neatly groomed down there every day. You could feel his cheeky grin on your skin as he slid his tongue further up your thigh. His face hovered over the black lace that matched your bra and he stared directly into your soul with fire in his eyes. Never breaking eye contact, he closed his wet mouth over your clit through your panties and you felt like you died and went to heaven.

Your eyes rolled into the back of your head and your body couldn’t help but squirm from the delicious new sensation. He grabbed your hips to keep you still and your already soaked panties got even wetter as his saliva seeped through the fabric he was sucking on. Surely - with how you were bugging out like a teenager - he knew that you’d never done this before, right?

Your breathing picked up to hyperventilation mode as he thumbed at the hem of your panties. His mouth left your bliss button and you huffed in frustration. He chuckled and raised his body back up to whisper in your ear, grinding his bulge down on you all the while. “Calm down, little mouse. I don’t want you passing out before I’ve even started.” He pecked an open-mouthed kiss under your ear and sat back up to continue his previous ministrations.

He looked hesitant as he looped his index fingers through your panties, looking in your eyes for approval. “Please…” you whispered. And that's all he needed to swiftly slide your panties off your legs. You were completely naked and vulnerable in front of this man, but you didn’t feel scared of being touched. Not like last time…

He plunged down in between your legs and latched his mouth onto your bare, sensitive pearl, swirling his tongue around and making you whimper like a puppy. Grabbing onto your wiggling hips again, his mouth closed over your clit, he sucked hard . And goddamn was he a fucking god at this. You never thought anything could feel this good.

That was until his mouth moved down. Your knuckles were completely white as they gripped onto the sheets. He had traveled his tongue down to the base of your folds and licked up between them, ending the journey with a flick of your clit. You couldn’t hold back the cry that breached your lips. His tongue then plunged in between your slick lips and ate you out as if it were his last meal.

Your hands instinctively laced through his silky blue locks and lightly tugged on them, not pulling him away, but more to coax him for more. He received the memo and quickly looped his arms underneath your legs, using his pure strength to lift your pelvis to gain a better angle. “Fuck… shit… Oh god, Min! – ah!” One of his arms released your leg and guided his middle finger to join his tongue inside you. You could almost cry from the pleasure he was giving you.

You grinded down on him and he finally relented the attack with his mouth. He kept his finger inside you, slowly probing in and out as he moved back up to hover over you. “You taste so delicious, little mouse. So fucking good for me.” You desperately pulled him down for a kiss, tongues wrestling and you tasted yourself on his lips.

You whined into his mouth when you felt his index finger slide in next to the one already torturing you. You threw your head back, disconnecting your lips, when you felt him curl his fingers up and press against your sweet bundle of nerves that threw you into pure ecstasy.

He quickened his pace and you thrashed your body around, whining from the extreme intensity. He grabbed your arm with his unoccupied hand and pinned it to your side to lessen your movement. He latched his tongue to your clit again and it was too much to handle. “M-Minnie! I– I…” You felt waves crash over you as you released the tightness in your core, soaking the man’s face and sheets in the process.

“There we go, darling…” He left a sweet kiss on your inner thigh as he sat up to assess the damage. You closed your legs in shame, embarrassed of the mess you made. He looked up into your eyes with a sweet smile, putting his hands on your knees in the process, spreading them again. “Oh baby. That is so fucking HOT, you drive me crazy, baby.”

You felt your core heating up again, unable to get enough of this unreal human. You lunged up at him and tugged on his belt, slipping it out of his loops and undoing his jeans, loosening the tightness from his erection. Your eyes bulged out of your head when he pulled his pants down, displaying the ginormous tent in his boxers. The shakiness returned to your body tenfold.

You were terrified of your inexperience, afraid that you would humiliate yourself. You scooted closer to the edge of the bed and put your hands on his hips, eyes never moving from his painful looking erection. He stood there patiently, awaiting your next move. You hesitated for a moment, but ultimately decided he deserved to know. “I– I’ve never done this before… you might need to help me…”

You could feel him tense up under your hands and you looked up at his face in apprehension. “Wait... are you a virgin?” You lowered your hands to your lap and looked down at them with a red face.

“Oh… O-oh shit!” He stepped away from you in a rush and pulled his pants back on at light speed.

You felt your heart sink and your head fill with desperation and doubt. “Min?” 

He scratched the back of his neck once his pants were fully on. “Y/N… I… I don’t know if I can do that…”

You felt the tell-tale signs of your stupid angry tears prick at your eyes. “You can't do what exactly?” You tried to control yourself, but your statement came off as extremely pissy.

He frustratingly ran his hand through his hair. “That’s… that’s a special kind of thing, Y/N… I can’t–”

“It’s so special that your dick won’t work?” You cut him off as you stood up and crossed your arms over your chest, feeling humiliated and exposed in your bare state. You began to pull up your soiled panties and jeans to at least feel a little bit of security. 

“That’s not it, babe–”

“You’re afraid to steal my ‘virtue’ or what the fuck ever? Well, news flash, I’ve lost that in about every other category.” You realized you were yelling now, staring daggers into him.

His scowl didn’t make you feel any better. “You don’t get it, Y/N. That kind of thing is not something that–”

Why the fuck did everyone judge your lack of ‘experience’? I’m not a goddamned child. You interrupted him again, not wanting to hear anymore. “Save it, Minho. You sound just like Chan! I thought you…” You cursed yourself for the unexpected tear that rolled down your cheek. You saw his face fall, but you were determined to stand your ground. “...I thought you wanted me…” You looked down at the ground and closed your eyes, your face twisted in anger. You didn’t want to face him anymore in you humiliated state. “But whatever, forget it. At this point, I’ll just stay a virgin forever. Or maybe I should just find someone with the balls to actually fuck me!”

You knew you didn’t mean it, but the rage that blinded you didn’t care. All you wanted to do was escape. And that’s exactly what you did. You marched into the living room to reattach your bra and pull your shirt over your head, immediately heading for the door with Minho close behind.

“Babe, please don’t leave…” He tried to grab your hand as you put your shoes on, but you yanked it out of his grasp.

“Don’t ‘babe’ me! Just…” The tears were streaming down your face and the woman you thought was strong, ended up to be just an emotional bitch baby. Just like you had been ever since you had stepped foot into this god forsaken country. “...just…” You gasped for air through your sobs, not knowing what to say in your anger. “...just fuck off, Minho…” You hastily turned and slammed the door in his face.

You skipped the classes you specifically shared with Minho on Monday and Tuesday, picking up an extra shift at work on Monday evening to drown your thoughts.

- - - - - - - - - -

You were balled up in your blankets as Chan walked in to bring you another plate of food on Tuesday, switching it out with the previous uneaten one in its place. “Kiyomi… please eat… I know you are feeling sick, but you aren’t eating enough on any given day already. I’m worried about you, hun.”

You stuffed your face into your pillow and mumbled back to him. “I’m sorry, Channie… I’ll try…” You knew you wouldn’t, but at least you could give him hope.

He caressed your hair with his face downturned in worry. “Okay, sweetheart. I’m praying for you to get better soon.” You smiled into your pillow and felt the black fog of sleep engulf you as he caressed his fingers through your hair. Chan is all I’ll ever need to make me happy, even if that means I’ll never have a real relationship with someone... These were the last thoughts that ran through your head as you drifted off into dreamland.

- - - - - - - - - -

You slowly regained consciousness and smiled again as you felt fingers still carding its way through your hair. You opened your eyes to look up at your best friend and almost jumped out of your skin when you saw another man. You had apparently jumped to the other side of the bed as you sat face to face with the man of your desires and heartache.

There was a moment of silence where the two of you searched each other's eyes, looking for some sort of explanation. “What the fuck are you doing here, Min?”

He looked down at his fiddling hands. “Um… tutoring? It is Tuesday, right?”

You scoffed and images of his rejection on Sunday ran through your mind. “Did I get lost in translation the other night? I specifically remember telling you to fuck off. Obviously you didn’t understand that included your company on tutoring days.” You crossed your arms and refused to look him in the eye.

“Y/N, please let me explain.”

“I think it’s crystal clear, Min. You are too much of a pussy to take my virginity. A concept that means nothing to me, by the way. Especially with the way I almost lost it last time…” You felt the prickling in your eyes of your potential tear ducts acting up and you tightly closed your eyes to hold them back.

“It’s not that it’s–” You peeked over at him sitting on your bed when he cut himself off mid sentence. “What do you mean ‘the way you almost lost it’?”

You kicked yourself for letting that slip. “Nothing, forget it.” You crossed your arms and faced away from him. He probably wouldn’t give a fuck anyway.

You felt a gentle hand rest on your knee and you almost broke down. “I know I might not be the most serious person in most situations, but please know that you can talk to me… I… I really like you, Y/N… the thought of you finding someone else to do that to you… it drives me crazy.”

You faced him and you were sure he could see your glossed over eyes that threatened to spill over. You hesitated, but after a moment of silence your hand naturally gravitated to hold the hand that was on your knee, intertwining your fingers and feeling his strong hand squeeze yours. You hadn’t realized how much you had missed touching him only in the span of a couple days.

“I… I didn’t really mean it, Min. I was just angry… I’d rather just forget about it…”

His face was downcast and his eyes were zoned out on your intertwined hands. “I feel like I know nothing about you, Kiyomi… I wish you wouldn’t hide from me…”

You looked up to the ceiling in an attempt to avoid your tears from falling. “It’s not that I want to hide from you, Minnie… I just have an ugly past. You wouldn’t look at me the same. Chan is the only one who helped me through it and the only one who has never judged me.” You looked down with a sad smile.

“Y/N…” You dared to look him in the eyes. “I want to be with you. I want to call you mine and have the honor to be called yours. I want to scream from the rooftops of how lucky I am to have you with me. I want to take you on dates and cuddle you when you’re sad. I don’t want to…” He looked down, considering the weight of his words. “...I don’t want to just fuck you, Kiyomi… I want to make love to you… but only when that time comes. You deserve your first time to be the best experience possible. Because you deserve to be happy, Y/N.” 

You didn’t know when you had started crying, but you only realized when he wiped away a stray tear from your cheek. “I’m not blind, little mouse. I know you have had some sort of shit happen to you… I can see it…” He freed his hand from your grasp so he could take both sides of your face in his hands, kissing your forehead gently. “If you don’t want to tell me, you don’t have to. But I would really like to know what’s going through your pretty little head when you fret over these things.”

He wanted to be with you, not only as a lover or a friend, but something far more intimate. You almost couldn’t process all of the words that were thrown at you, but as you cleared your mind of the fog of anger it once held, you found pure affection took its place. He was right, if you wanted this man, really wanted him (and you did) he deserved to know the truth.

- - - - - - - - - -

You looked down at the scrap of paper that had small lettering with shit handwriting of an address on it and looked up at the faded numbered door of a seedy motel, hoping the address was correct so you could get the fuck on with it. You briefly felt down to your boot, ensuring that your switchblade was secure inside your tight sock. 

The late autumn wind whipped around you and through your hair, causing you to shiver and grow goosebumps up your bare arms. Your jacket, admittedly the only jacket you had, had been ruined when your mom dropped the embers of a couple lit cigarettes and an ashtray on it, burning through the material. You should have at least worn long sleeves, but there was no point in ruminating on it now. The best thing you could do now was to get this over and done with.

You rapped on the door with your knuckle systematically and saw the blinds of the window next to you part slightly, inspecting who the visitor was. You rolled your eyes as the figure left. Do they seriously have to be so sketchy about it? As you waited for the man to open the door, you heard muffled voices on the other side of the teal, paint chipped door.

Once the door opened, you were quickly ushered to enter the room. “Ah, nice to see you again, Y/N! How are mom and pop?” The overweight man sitting next to a crappy table in the corner of the room shined a yellow, toothy grin at you. The two men who ushered you in the door retreated to resume their places on opposite corners of the room, one lighting the foul stench of a cigarette, the other scrolling through his phone.

“Can we please skip the pleasantries? I have school in the morning and I’d rather not chit chat.” You tossed the McDonald’s paper sack down on the bed, one of the lackeys grabbing it to inspect the contents. You watched as the man poked his pinky finger in the white substance and smeared it on the inner side of his lip, smacking his tongue to distinguish the taste.

“That’s it, boss. A full kilo.” You outstretched your palm to receive the roll of money that was sitting on the table next to a full syringe and a line of cocaine. Of course they aren’t satisfied with just one. The man stood up from his place next to the table and stepped towards you, making your fight or flight instincts flare up.

“Do you really have to leave so early? The night is young, little girl! At least stay for a drink.” He held up his lowball glass of brown liquor, making the contents slosh and the ice clink against the edges of it's containment. Your face twisted into one of disgust at his proposition.

“I’m good, thanks. Just give me the money and I’ll be out of your hair.” He huffed as he turned to grab the wad of cash, presenting it to you. As you went to claim it from him, he pulled it back.

“I think you could earn a little extra, kitten.” He licked his chapped lips and looked you up and down.

“Thanks but no thanks.” You tried to reach for it again, but he pulled it back further, making you lean closer to him. You stood back to your previous position and huffed. “Don, seriously? I don’t have time for this shit. Can you please just pay me so I can go?” You held out your hand expectantly once again.

Finally, he dropped the bundle into your hand and you grasped it firmly. You started to walk away, but when you turned around, your fear froze you on the spot as you watched one of the useless assholes pulling the chain over the lock on the door. 

There had been a couple of deals before where the recipient tried to hold you back, but they were easy enough to handle. Because you were a young, skinny girl, many thought you were a scared baby lamb. They were wrong.

You turned around with a blistering glare. “Don, what the fuck?! Let me out of here! You got your fix, you don’t need me anymore.”

“Oh, on the contrary, love. I think you have far better uses.” With that, the two men grabbed each of your arms, pulling you over to the bed and pinning you to it on each side. You cursed yourself for not watching your own back. The one that was smoking held up his cigarette to your neck and pressed the embers deep into your skin, making you scream in pain. The searing white pain fogged your eyes and fuzzed your mind.

When you regained composure, horror filled your veins as the fat man started unbuckling his belt and pulled down his pants and underwear in one go, showing his erect dick underneath bundles of fat. Sick motherfucking piece of cow shit.

Without even a second thought, your self defense instincts kicked in and you twisted your body in the men's firm grasps and wrapped your legs around the neck of the man on your left, making him relinquish his grasp on you as he tried to pry your thighs from his throat, choking and gargling on his spit all the while. You didn’t have much time before the other two men reacted, the larger of the two tripping over the pants around his legs and falling to the ground (fucking dumbass). And the man holding your other arm refused to loosen his grasp as you clung onto the other’s neck with your thighs for dear life.

The other man tried to pull you away, pulling your arm and twisting. You heard a pop and a grind in your shoulder followed by another yelp from your mouth from the pain, but you used the advantage of now having a free hand to punch his throat with all the strength you had in you. The man’s eyes bulged out of his head as he grabbed his throat with both hands, most likely having his esophagus collapsed. With both of your hands now free, you lunged over the bed to chase your escape, grabbing the money off the floor in the process and popping your shoulder back into its socket.

Both lackeys were clinging onto their throats in attempts to regain oxygen and the hefty man was rolling around on the floor, suddenly grabbing your ankle and pulling you backwards. Your body moved on its own as you reached down into your boot and flicked open the blade. You pulled back with a swift move and plunged the knife down. You heard a high pitched scream as you saw the sharp metal pierce straight through the middle of his hand, going all the way through and ripping through the tendons and veins there.

The hand that had held you captive retracted at light speed as he cradled it in his chest, whimpering like a baby. When you turned around, your terrified fingers trembled as you stumbled to slide the chain out from the lock with one arm, the other loosely hanging at your side. The pain in your shoulder would have to wait to be assessed at another time, because all the adrenaline worked towards one goal. Getting the FUCK out of there.

Luckily, you finally got out of the door just in time as you could hear Don yell ‘go get the bitch’ to his lackeys. You didn’t even hesitate to redirect your normal route to the bus stop, instead opting to round the corner of the motel and sprint through the back alleys of the area to sprint 3 miles to Chan’s.

- - - - - - - - - -

You sat in the dimly lit shed - and personal hang out spot - in Chan’s backyard and inspected your bruised knuckles from smashing that guy’s throat in. You felt yourself beyond lucky to make it out of there with only a few minor injuries. Your fingers fiddled with the loose strings on the bean bag’s covering that you sat on in the semi-decorated shed, making it seem a bit more homey.

Finally, Chan’s scowled face returned with a first aid kit and frozen peas in each of his hands, tucking one under the other arm to lock the latch of the door behind him. “You should just come inside so we can properly wash it.” He handed you the two bags of peas, one to place on your throbbing hand, and the other on your shoulder. 

He helped you as you flung a makeshift sling around your neck and secured it under your fucked up arm. He then opened the first aid kit on the small end table in between you and the other bean bag he sat in. 

“And let your parents see me in this state? No fucking way.” You winced as he pressed an alcohol swab against the ringed burn on your neck. The furious look on your best friend’s face refused to let up.

“I’m going to call the cops.” He didn’t look you in the eyes as he muttered the words.

You pulled away from his helping hands and glared at him. “Like hell you are! I wouldn’t have come to you if I were looking to get hunted down by drug dealers for narking. I’d just go home and suck it the fuck up.”

He just returned your glare and grabbed the back of your neck forcefully, continuing his aid with his other hand while he held you still. “You can’t keep doing this to yourself, Kiyomi…” He turned to grab the antibacterial ointment. “You’re…” You felt a pang in your chest as you saw his eyes water. “You’re going to get yourself killed…”

You took the bruised hand of your uninjured arm and raised it to his face. “That won’t happen, Channie. I’ve survived so far, yeah?” You dipped your head over to try and catch his fallen gaze. “Besides, I can’t leave my little pup to fend for himself.” You pinched the cheek where your hand was laid and he attempted to suppress his smile as he pulled away from your grasp.

A small chuckle escaped his lips as he lifted the swab of cream to your neck. He stayed silent though as he finished bandaging you. After he closed the kit, he patted your knee. “All done, sweetheart. Let’s go to bed, kay?”

You shook your head as you stood up. “No can do, love. I gotta get back home with this money before my dad has an aneurysm.”

“Would that be so bad?” He muttered bitterly. You panned over to him with an unamused face. “I can’t believe you keep going back to that shithole! Can’t you just come live with us?”

You scoffed and dropped your eyes to the ground. “Yeah, if you want them to come find me and harm not only me, but you and your entire family as well. It’s already been risky enough trying to keep you a secret from them…”

You felt his arms wrap around you and you buried your face in his shoulder. “I hate this, Y/N. I just want you to finally be free… safe.”

You deflated before you pulled back from him, trying to put on the most unaffected face you could muster. “Don’t worry about me, Channie. I’ve made it this far. I’ll be able to protect myself until I can save enough money to move out after graduation.” You offered him a sweet smile, which he halfheartedly returned. “Now, I have to get back before it gets too late. I don’t want them to come searching for me. You placed a peck on his cheek and showed yourself out of your tiny safe haven.

- - - - - - - - - -

You felt your skull crack against the cheap, hard linoleum flooring in the kitchen as your dad stood over you, your mom burning down the embers of a cigarette furiously in anxiety and talking on the phone a few feet away on the couch. “How THE FUCK could you lose us Don, one of our best buyers?!” You felt the breath leave your lungs as he landed a harsh kick against your ribcage.

You didn’t cry, you couldn’t. Your mind retreated elsewhere while your body laid there and awaited the end. “All for what?! Your stupid fucking pride?! If one of our buyers wants something, you do it, NO QUESTIONS ASKED!” Another kick.

“I know Don, we are taking care of the problem, just hear me out–” You faintly heard your mother trying to reason with the monster on the other side of the phone.

“If you can’t keep up with a stupid, fucking simple task, what good are you?!” A punch to the face this time, blinding your vision as you curled in on yourself on the ground. “You’re only taking up space here, so you’d better start pulling your goddamned weight!”

The anger that was boiling inside you released in a small snap. “He tried to fucking rape me dad! What was I supposed to do?!” He punched the side of your jaw, making you spit out a tooth and taste a disgusting flow of iron flowing from its place.

“If someone wants you to spread your legs, you tell them to pay up and then say WELCOME TO FUCKING POUND TOWN! Hell, it’s more revenue and a better use of your useless cunt anyway!” 

Your mother had ended her call and shouted over her shoulder. “He won’t fucking get over it! We lost him!” She slammed the bedroom door.

Your father’s face couldn’t get any more red. One, two, three more punches. You could feel the ring on his fingers denting and gashing into the bone and flesh on your face. You saw more and more blood build on his fist each time he pulled back. You could hardly believe it was coming from your body due to the amount of pain nearing the sense of numbness.

It was almost as if your soul had left your body, leaving nothing but a bloodied stick figure in its wake. Pain and acceptance was a dichotomy that was slowly blurring lines. Somehow, you were numb to the point of acceptance, but you were hyper aware of the feeling of every centimeter of your body. Your toes were scrunched up where they laid on the cheap linoleum. Your hands were balled in fists on your abdomen, attempting to protect your damaged ribcage, completely ignoring the pain that was already wrecking your shoulder. Your back was hunched into a ball like a fucking abused dog. And your face… you could feel the disfigurement increasing with every swing of his fist.

Once he stopped, heaving from his anger and effort, he spat down on your bloody and bruised body. “Find somewhere else to sleep tonight, bitch. I want you out of my sight.” With that, he turned and slammed his bedroom door behind him.

You laid there for a good ten minutes, uncontrollably shaking as you failed to get up. You were sure that one of your ribs was broken and you knew your nose was broken. When you finally came to, you limped your way over to the bathroom and examined yourself in the mirror.

The sight was grizzly, the entire left side of your face was flushed and swollen. You had a black eye that was swollen shut and cuts all over your cheek, jaw, and brow bones. The worst coming from your high cheek bone where you could feel the indentation underneath the skin into the hard surface of bone under the heavy flow of blood. 

Blood gushed out of your nose and you decided to bite the bullet. Picking up a nasty ass washrag from the floor, you shoved it in your mouth and bit down on it. With no small amount of hesitation, you counted to yourself. One, two, THREE . You heard a loud crunch as you snapped your nose back into place, blood gushing all the more into the washrag and sink as you removed the soiled cloth from your mouth.

You decided to bring the rag with you to hold up to your bleeding nose as you grabbed your rucksack and headed out of the apartment and into the brisk autumn weather. You definitely didn’t want to be present if your father had caught you still hanging around. It was about three in the morning when you had finally limped all the way to Chan’s house. You really didn’t want to call upon him twice in the same night, so you snuck around to the backyard and pulled a small key out of one of the pockets in your pack.

You snuck into the shed and locked it behind you, finally collapsing on the rug that adorned the decorated space. You laid there for no more than a minute before your vision turned to black.

- - - - - - - - - -

“OH MY FUCKING GOD, Y/N!!!” You awakened from your haze, sore and out of breath with the taste of blood still lingering on your tongue. Your vision was blurry at first when you opened your eyes, but eventually Chan came into view, on the ground next to you and tears streaming down his face. Your heart broke at the sight of your friend hurting. You tried to sit up to comfort him, but the pain racking from your ribs threw you back down with a thud and a whimper. He reached out towards you, but pulled back as if you were going to break if he touched you. “No no no, Y/N, why?! Why??? ”

You turned your head and tried to smile at him to quell his worries, but the smile only met half your face as the other half is still too fucked up. “Hey baby Channie…” Your voice sounded gurgled and rugged coming from your mouth. Funny, you wanted to ease his concern, but you probably just made it worse with how you sounded. You chuckled from the irony, making you cough up blood.

He reached toward you with tremored hands and a shaky breath. “I’ll take care of you, baby girl... I– I’ll fix this… I’ll fix this…” He sobbed into your hand he was holding and pulled out his phone with the other. You already knew what was going to happen. He was going to call the hospital - or worse, the police - and you would be utterly fucked if anyone found out. You weakly put your hand over his phone, making him look back at you with his blurry eyes.

“Channie… it’s okay… I’m okay, really.” You attempted a smile again.

“Bull fucking shit, Y/N! I LITERALLY THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!” He instantly regretted his words when you flinched from his anger. The tears refused to subside from his eyes as he gently caressed the less harmed side of your face with his fingertips. “I looked everywhere for you, sweetheart…”

You were utterly confused. “What do you mean, how long have I been out?”

He sobbed. “It’s fucking Wednesday, Kiyomi! I haven’t seen or heard from you since Sunday night!” You felt like you were hit by a truck with this news. You desperately tried to raise yourself from the floor, clenching your teeth through the pain. You felt as if you had face-planted down a flight of stairs while fighting a hangover. Your head rang and the world spinned on a top.

“Holy fuck, my parents are going to think I bounced on them. Fuck!” You fumbled around to get up from the ground, struggling to breathe, but Chan firmly held you down.

“NO.” Chan looked murderous when you looked up at him in frustration.

“Chan. You don’t get it. It’s one thing to be kicked out for a night or two, but the last time I stayed out longer than that, mom had locked me in the bathroom with nothing to eat for two days. I have to leave.”

“I DON’T GIVE A FUCK! Tell your dad or who the fuck ever that you are staying away, at least until you’re healed. I– I–” The sobs plummeted out of his body and you gritted your teeth as you sat up to hold him. “Please. Please, Y/N! Don’t go back. I can’t lose you…” He wrapped his arms tighter and you cried out from the pain that shot through your diaphragm and shoulder.

You instinctively clutched your sternum and doubled over, eventually falling backwards again against the ground, knocking the wind out of you. His eyes looked horrified as he gently placed his hands on your arms. “Kiyomi, w-what–?” He grabbed the hem of your shirt and pulled it up without warning. You weren’t necessarily uncomfortable with it, you trusted him more than anything in this world. But you were afraid of what he would find underneath.

Sure enough, Black and blue bruises were blotched all over your exposed, protruding rib cage, an angry red surrounding it all. The man had fire in his eyes, shaking from ferociousness and most likely homicidal thoughts. “Fuck this, I’m taking you to the hospital.” He wrapped his arms around you, one under your back and the other underneath your knees, carrying you like a baby toward the shed door.

You screamed out in pain and the only indicative response that he was hurting to hear you like that was the slight hesitation in his step and the agony on his face. “CHAN PUT ME DOWN!”

“NO!” He yelled back through his tears.

“CHAN IF YOU DON’T PUT ME DOWN RIGHT NOW I’M NEVER COMING BACK!”

That made him freeze in his tracks. “W-what?” He looked down at your balled up form with saucers for eyes. “Y-you don’t mean that…”

“If you expose me, you won’t ever see or hear from me again. There is no way I could keep you and your family safe with ties like that to link my life back to you.” You were killing yourself to say the words, but your face remained fierce. Well, as fierce as it could be in its debauched state.

He turned back and gently laid you flat against the carpet again. You breathed a sigh of relief, wincing from the action momentarily. “Thank you Channie. I’ll… I’ll call mom and tell her that I need to lay low until I heal so the school doesn’t get suspicious. That I’ll find somewhere to stay out of their hair in the meantime… That should pass as a fair excuse, at least in mom’s eyes. Do you think your folks will notice if I hole up in your room? I’d stay out here, but at least your room has an ensuite bathroom I can hide in.”

He reluctantly nodded and pulled your phone from your backpack, hesitantly handing it to you. “Call her, I’m going to go make sure the coast is clear.”

- - - - - - - - - -

There were really too many tales to recount, each one worse than the next, so you decided on one of the more sordid stories, only briefly describing other smaller encounters. You had figured that if Minho really wanted to know, you might as well get the worst out of the way. You finished your trip down memory lane by telling Minho the reason why you were here. The reason you ever moved in the first place.

That night with your father. The week with Chan’s family. The move that saved your goddamned life.

You had figured he would be disgusted with you. Terrified or awestruck. You knew you would be if you were in his shoes. But all you could do was sit there in silence, refusing to look up and find out what the expression on his face had morphed into. The silence was deafening and the air crackled with preemptive lightning you knew was bound to come. 

But it never did. Why the fuck isn’t he saying anything? You spared a look at his hands and you saw his knuckles were completely white with a murderous grip. You slowly raised your gaze to try and read his eyes, consequences be damned. What you saw made a chill run down your spine.

His jaw was clenched and trembling, his nostrils flared, face red as his eyes were screwed shut. You could only speculate as to why he would be so mad. You supposed it wasn’t too far off that it was because you hid this from him, making him think you were a person you really weren’t. Chan was a pure golden hearted angel, never judging you or making you feel inferior - but realistically - you knew you couldn’t expect that from everyone. No matter how much it hurt to admit it…

You stood from the bed, wanting to be anywhere but there. Always running from your fucked up past. But you abruptly felt yourself being pulled back by the wrist, falling flat back down on the unmade bed with a thud. You felt the warm presence of the man of your desires wrap you in a tight hug, laying down next to your confused body in an unyielding embrace.

You felt all of your worries and machinations wash away as you pulled him indescribably closer, grateful for allowing you to burrow into him. You couldn’t bring yourself to say anything, nor could he, so the two of you just laid there with your bodies intertwined and his consolatory hand ran up and down your back.

You eventually puffed out a shaky breath and looked up from where you were buried in his chest to look at his face. He stared back down at you with an expression that was part adoration and part agony. One of the arms that were wrapped around your back was pulled to your face, his fingers gliding over your forehead and behind your ear to brush a stray hair out of the way. His hand found its resting place on your cheek and the fingers of the hand on your back swirled around in soothing circles.

You looked into his glossy eyes and couldn’t control the natural force that pulled your lips to his. His thumb brushed over the permanent indentation in your cheek bone as your lips whispered and melded over each other. The moment was more intimate and loving than anything you had ever experienced.

He pulled away and rested his forehead against yours, closing his eyes. “Y/N… H-how… w-why…?” You could tell he was at a loss for words and you shushed him with a chaste kiss.

“Min, it’s over now. I’m here and I’m fine. Chan saved me…” You offered him a small smile but he was remiss to return it.

“Well I can definitely say that a lot of the things I’ve been worried about have been made painfully clear now. How could you keep going back? You were literally on the brink of death, Y/N.” He stuffed his face in the crook of your neck. “I don’t even want to think of what those sick fucks would have done to you. I’ll fucking kill them.” He growled into your shoulder and you tried to calm him with your own ministrations on his back.

“It’s okay. Shhh… I’m sorry I kept it from you, Minnie. I was afraid…” He looked back up at you in confusion. “...afraid you would be disgusted with me. With the things I’ve done.” You refused to meet his eyes at your confession.

You felt his soft hand dip under your chin and lift it up to meet his eyes. “Oh, little mouse. Never think of yourself as anything less than extraordinary. You are the most strong, brave, and badass woman I’ve ever met. I think I’m starting to fall for you more and more by the second.”

Fall for me? As in love? That’s preposterous, there is no way anyone could feel that way about you knowing the things you’ve done. You were surprised enough that he didn’t run for the hills. You never could have even imagined ending up with someone who wasn’t already a pothead let alone anyone at all. You always considered Chan the only man in your life that miraculously loved you unconditionally, even if it wasn’t romantic.

He looked down at you as if he was seeing you for the first time. “So beautiful…” His hand smoothed over the curve of your waist and his eyes traced your body. He leaned in and breathed against your neck, the hot puffs stealing the air from your lungs. “So powerful for such a small little mouse.” The smell of him filled your nose with ginseng, sandalwood, and citrus and you got chills from the delicious aroma.

As his hand traveled down your body - over your waist, hip, ass - he stopped at the back of your thigh, lifting it to drag over his own hips. “Minnie…”

You’d never experienced this much desire in your entire life. Honestly, with your experience with sexual encounters, you thought you wouldn’t be interested at all. Meeting Minho completely reversed any of those thoughts and enhanced your libido tenfold. Surprisingly enough to you, you wanted nothing more in life right now than to jump this man’s bones.

You felt a wet kiss touch down on the base of your jaw and you loudly sighed in desire. You closed your eyes and felt hot waves of arousal spread over your body and through your veins, making electric shocks shoot to your nerve endings. Just a single touch from Minho was enough to thrill you into wanting and make you throw all caution to the wind.

You made your intentions very clear as you pulled your groin closer to his. Well, as much as you could in the awkward angle you two were in - facing each other on your sides. He responded in kind, grabbing your ass and pulling you flush to him.

He lightly suckled on your pulse and you threw your head back in bliss, allowing him more access. You slipped out a tiny whimper when he lightly bit the flesh on your neck, immediately soothing it with his delectable tongue. You could feel his hardening length tighten his pants as you pressed into him, making you giddy that he was just as worked up as you were. 

The haze of ecstasy momentarily cleared when a pressing thought crossed your mind. “Wh-where’s Chan?” It was only but a whisper, but you knew he had heard you, stopping his sinful actions to briefly respond.

“Gone.” He moved back to your mouth, planting a sensual kiss before whispering against your lips. “Said he’d be out late…” He licked up into your mouth and you clenched your thighs around him, feeling your shorts soak with your arousal.

You took matters into your own hands and straddled your personal, beautiful incubus. You paused to look down at his gorgeous form. His iconic look of dark ripped jeans, a black v-neck t-shirt, and that same damned sexy leather jacket. You wanted it all gone.

He seemed to be appreciating you as well as his hands ran up and down your thighs that bracketed his hips. Your hands lightly crawled up his clothed chest and parked on the collar of his jacket, gripping it firmly. You leaned forward and planted a small kiss on his cheek before whispering. “Minnie… I want you…”

The groan that left his throat was low and controlled. He involuntarily grinded his hips up, making you gasp at the friction. “Oh baby…” He closed his eyes. “You’re making this so difficult for me…” His hands traveled to grope your ass and grinded you forward.

“Ngh *gasp*… Well… if you aren’t ready… can I at least take care of you?” You said between movements, breathing heavily. You scooted back slightly and splayed your hand over his rock hard bulge to encourage him. “I want… I want to taste you…” His eyes were about to pop out of his head at your bold statement. You feigned confidence.

He was breathing just about as heavily as you were and you continued to stare into each other's souls. His face looked pained in conflict as he fluttered his eyes shut from your touch. “God, Kiyomi… you’re unreal… ” He opened his eyes and searched your own for any uncertainty. He would find none, you were hungry for him and you wanted to do anything that would show him that. You decided to be a bit more daring and deftly popped open the button of his pants.

He smirked at you with that confident smile that you hadn’t realized you missed until he graced you with it. “Well you seem to have already made the decision for both of us, eager little mouse.” You bit your lip seductively, egging him on as you steadily lowered his zipper. His eyes burned in anticipation and flit between your eyes and your wandering hands. “Are you sure you want this?” His face still had that teasing demeanor, but you could hear the genuine hesitation and indecision in his voice.

You paused the exploration of your hands to gently place them on his shoulders, kissing him with a slow, passionate tenderness that you hoped would ease his doubts. When you released his lips, you whispered. “I’ve never been more sure in my life. I want all I can get from you Lee Minho.” That was all it took.

His movement was swift as he sat the two of you into a sitting position with his legs swinging over the edge - you still straddling him - making you dizzy as his lips latched onto your cleavage just above the dip in your shirt. You used this opportunity to slide off his jacket and his hands slid up under the hem of your shirt to unceremoniously yank it over your head, freeing your braless chest and lithe frame.

For half a second, it seemed like he was looking at your figure in a new light, now having known the knowledge of your previous child neglect and linking it to your current self neglect. Although you were starting to fill out gradually with proper meals, you were still severely underweight. But after that second of contemplation, he gently kissed your belly, just above your navel. His hands ran up your sides slowly as he continued kissing your torso. When his hands traveled up to take purchase of your breasts, he softly flicked his thumbs softly over your perky nipples and - at the same time - laid a sensual kiss against your visible rib cage.

You sighed in pleasure at his pure affection and pulled back momentarily to peel off his shirt, your hands returning to run through his silky mane. You rolled your hips forward to seek out the sweet friction from his erection and he squeezed your breasts harder before releasing. His mouth replaced them to latch on to one of your nipples and, with his free hands, he blindly fumbled around for your pillow and threw it down on the floor at his feet.

You knew what your next task was, so you pressed a sweet kiss on top of his head and removed yourself from his lap, slinking down onto your knees in front of him and running your hands over his magnificent clothed thighs with desire penetrating him through your eyes. Your hands slid up his legs to the hem of his jeans, feeling each and every groove in the rough fabric, and you looped your fingers underneath them and his boxers. He awaited your next move, letting you set the pace.

When you tugged on them, he lifted his hips to assist you as you gradually pulled down the offending piece of fabric. Once they were finally thrown to the side, your gaze was blown wide at his bare tumescence. There was no fucking way you could fit all of it, but you’d definitely try like hell. You were surprised with yourself when you realized your mouth was literally watering at the sight.

“Min, porn can only teach me so much. I’ll probably need your help…” 

“Oh?” He smirked. “I wonder what type of porn my cute little mouse likes.” His condescending tone lit a fire in you. He leaned down to catch your gaze and whisper. “I bet it’s not so innocent, is it, darling?” His crooked smile challenged you and you wanted to do nothing more than gain the upper hand and wipe that smirk off of his face.

You unexpectedly reached forward and ran the palm of your hand up the length of his dick, applying the delicious pressure that you knew would make him weak. “Maybe you should stop stalling and find out for yourself how innocent I really am.” He shuddered and his eyes closed fleetingly, making you proud of the effect you had on him.

That was until he returned to that exigent glower. His admonitory hand raised to leisurely smooth his thumb over your lower lip. “I’ll never know until I see these pretty lips wrapped around my cock.” Your jaw dropped and it was your turn to quiver this time, making him sit back in triumph as your face lit up to an alarming shade of red. Damn him and his stupid ability to make me completely muddled with just a few words.

You absentmindedly licked the spot where his thumb grazed you and tentatively wrapped your hand around his length, your small fingers not able to fully wrap around the full width. He guided you with his hand covering your own, indicating the pressure and movements you were to execute. His dick felt like fire in your hand and it made your head spin to think about how it would feel inside of you.

The veins were prominent and you couldn’t understand why that turned you on so much. The level of arousal was apparent with how much precum he was leaking onto your hand and you felt your confidence skyrocket.

He was patient and alit with desire, but once you got the hang of it, he released you and let you continue your ministrations on your own. You could tell he was enjoying it by the way his breathing picked up and his eyes fluttered.

Again, continuing at your own pace, you placed a small kitten lick to the underside of his head, making him gasp at the abrupt sensation. The precum didn't taste awful like you had imagined, just a bit bitter.

Satisfied with his reaction, you tried to pull out some of the skills you had learned from your recent searches. Pulling away your thumb from your grasp, you completely flattened your tongue, making it wide enough to run from the base to the tip of him, flicking your tongue up at the end of his sensitive slit. You followed it up by wrapping your lips around the very tip of his sensitive head with tentative suckling.

A groan fell out of his mouth as he sighed and his fingers gravitated to intertwine through your long tresses. “Oh baby… fuck, you’re doing so good…” Your heart swelled with pride and you took in a bit more. “...just wrap your lips over your teeth and do what you feel is right. I trust you, baby girl.” You felt a fluttering in your chest and you realized that you wouldn’t rather be anywhere but here, sucking the life out of this man’s dick. 

You followed his instructions, sinking down further and trying to mimic the pressure you had used with your hand. As you had previously assumed - far before he was fully sheathed - the tip hit the back of your throat making you accidentally gag and pull off. You looked up at him with a pout. “I can’t fit it all…” You wanted to cry with frustration. All you wanted was to please him, which wasn’t characteristic of you at all. You were ashamed of yourself and hated the thought of him not being satisfied with you.

He cooed at your frustration and pinched your cheek. “That's okay my little mouse. Just do however much you’re comfortable with.” He grabbed your previously used hand and placed it on the base of his length. “This can do the rest, yeah?” His smile was one of adoration and your already flushed cheeks reddened even further as you meekly nodded to him.

You returned your mouth to him and his hands continued to lace through your hair. Once you were fully choked again, the hands on the back of your head gently guided you up and down, making you hum in appreciation. As your hand had worked the rest of him, you stared up at his face. Your shorts soaked even further when you saw that he had freed one of his hands from your hair so he could lean back on it on the bed, throwing his head back in pleasure and huffing from the euphoric feeling through his raw, bitten lips.

The precum that was oozing from the tip started tasting acidic and salty, but the underlying sweetness made up for the uncomfortable sting. The hum you vibrated against him earned you a strained croak from the depths of his throat and your pride returned to you.

You decided to redouble your efforts and quickened your pace with abandon, wanting to hear more beautiful noises from him. You tried with all of your effort to swallow down his ridiculous length and not gag, but it wasn’t an easy feat. You could tell he was struggling, but he was very well controlled when it came to vocalization. You didn’t want that.

You let your mouth take the reins and you swirled your tongue around him and flicked the slit on the underside like a lollipop, letting your saliva drool out of your mouth and down his shaft. That is what did it for him. His low groan almost sounded like a growl and the hand in your hair gave delicious little tugs. “Fuck, Kiyomi… baby *ngh* so fucking good… shit.” You hummed in appreciation and you could feel his dick twitch. Your slobber was dripping down your chin and it was messy as hell, but that turned you on even further.

His gut was palpitating and you could tell he was getting close. You made eye contact with him as your free hand slid down your body to tuck underneath your shorts and make circular motions on your sensitive clit. His eyes blew open wide and you groaned at the sensation you were granting yourself, the vibration on his dick was making him come undone. “I– I’m c– cumming…” He grunted out as he tried to pull you away by your hair, but you always knew one thing - the hottest thing a person can do is swallow. So you remained firm in your actions, speeding up and sucking harder. “Y/N–!”

You felt a thick, warm liquid collide with your throat and blend in with your saliva. You stroked him a few more times to milk out the rest and then slid off of him altogether with a loud *pop*. The taste was definitely more prominent, but with the tangy substance still sloshing around on your tongue, you made sure Minho saw it as you cleaned the rest of his tip with your dripping tongue, punctuating your action with a loud ‘gulp’ at the end.

It took a moment for him to regain a modicum of composure, but when he did, he spoke with a heavy breath. ”I now have no doubt in my mind, you are indubitably a motherfucking goddess.” He fell back against the sheets and you raised from the floor to follow him, draping one leg over his own and wrapping your arms around his neck.

You were just happy that you could make him feel good. It was a goddamned miracle that he didn’t bounce out on you as soon as he heard your story. So if that meant that you would just have to take care of your own aching pussy once he left, it was well worth it.

You looked up at his resting face and his beauty never failed to take your breath away. His sharp jawbone perfectly framed his gorgeous high cheekbones and the straight slope of his nose was as if it was carved from stone. His huge, beautiful eyes were closed and his long eyelashes fanned over his cheeks like black waves.

You could've stayed there forever, just basking in the pure ethereal beauty of Minho. You took in a large inhale of his musk and earthy scent and snuggled closer to him. His bare skin felt like velvet under your touch and you took a moment to appreciate his milk and honey skin.

You raised your hand and - once again - tangled your fingers through his silky midnight hair, lightly running the tips of your fingernails over his scalp, making him hum in gratitude. Your eyes finally landed on his delicious lips. His overbite was insanely adorable, but the plumpness and slope of his lips were sexy as hell. The heavy, hot breaths he puffed out of them turned you on even more.

You found yourself licking your lips and figured you could indulge yourself just a bit more of him. While his eyes were still closed and he was still trying to catch his breath, you latched your lips onto his briefly and sweetly before ghosting down against his skin on your way to continue your open-mouthed kisses on his jaw.

He was addicting, the light sheen of perspiration on his skin gave you a salty-sweet taste that made you want to lick him all over. Your tongue traveled further to fleetingly suckle and nip on his ear. The sound he made as he sighed out made your wet shorts even more drenched. 

You gripped his hair a bit harder as the other hand ran over his pecs and lightly defined abs. You started devouring him. Sucking hard against his neck, pulse point, collarbone, chest, anything that could elicit more of his sweet noises.

The arm that was wrapped around your waist underneath you snuck its way over the back of your shorts to gingerly kneed at your ass. His other hand raised up to travel his fingertips over your breast, tweaking the swollen nip periodically. His head craned back further into the bed to give you more access to mark him up and the hand that was exploring your breasts traveled further down.

His single index finger slid far too slowly down the center of your abdomen and dipped into your navel before traveling further. Your breath hitched against him when you could feel him teasing with the edge of your shorts. “Please Minnie…” You whined against his neck and you could see his dick twitch. Damn, does this man not have a refractory period?  

He gained a mocking tone of voice. “Well, since you asked nicely…” You breathed heavily in anticipation as he dipped his hand down the front of your shorts before he chuckled. “Tsk tsk, no panties? Maybe my little mouse isn’t so innocent. So naughty for me.” Blood ran to your face making it bright red and you never thought you would like dirty talk, but coming from his mouth it lit you on fire. His finger dove further down into your wet shorts and found your aching pearl. You cried out as he stimulated it with figure eight movements. “Is this what you wanted, baby girl?”

You frantically nodded your head in the crook of his neck, relenting your attack on his skin in response to his sinful activities. You’d been stimulated by him before and you could now confidently say that he was a pro at this. You were breathing against him rapidly as his finger teased at your labia. He dragged his finger through the center, but not quite inside you, ending his journey with a light flick of your clit.

“Damnit Minho! Stop winding me up!” You roughly bit his shoulder and he growled at the sensation. Before you knew it, he had pushed you over on your back and hovered over you.

“I’d like to see you make me. What can a mouse even do when faced with a tiger?” His evil grin made you glare in sexual frustration.

You looked down at his now fully erect cock and your hand flew to its base, making him choke on his words. You leaned up to whisper in his ear. “If you ever want your dick in me, whether it’s now or later, you’d better stop being a fucking tease.” 

You released his erection and he regained his senses. He climbed off of you in a rush and grabbed your ankles, roughly pulling you to the edge of the bed and got on his knees where you had been positioned just moments before. Your breath escaped you at light speed and excitement flowed through you like a babbling brook. He grabbed onto your soaking sleep shorts and quickly yanked them off of you (almost tearing them even).

“You asked for this, you damned bratty rat.” He growled. He immediately plunged two fingers inside of you and dove his face right in, devouring anything he could get his mouth on. His tongue joined the two fingers that were already relentlessly pumping in and out of you, making you whine at the stretch.

“Fuck–!” You watched his concentrated face as he probed you with his tongue while his nose stimulated your clit. He then moved up to your clit, sucking on it hard and looked into your eyes with an eyebrow raised as if he were taunting you. You had never felt so malleable.

Without warning, he added a third finger into you alongside the others that were abusing you. You belted out a high pitched yell and thanked god that both of your roommates were gone for the night.

“Is this what you wanted, frisky baby? For me to fuck you with my fingers?” He pulled off with your juices running down his face.

“Fuck– ngh! – I want– ah! – you to fuck me with your *gasp* dick!” His fingers were teasing across your g-spot and you were losing your composure quickly.

“All in due time, princess.” He curled his fingers up to abuse you right in the spot that made you scream. He leaned down to continue to lick up into you and flicked your sensitive bead when you felt the painful buildup in your core start to increase.

“Ah! Min please! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD don’t stop!” You saw stars burst and your vision went black for a half a second. You felt your release explode and soak your lovers hand and face, making the experience all the more euphoric. You would never let this man go if he could make you orgasm that hard just by eating you out. Your whole body was limp and you felt numb, only able to see him .

He raised up from his knees and licked his fingers clean while seductively staring at you. You would be swimming in your shorts from the sight if you were still wearing them. He then wiped his face with the back of his hand and walked into your bathroom. Moments later he returned with a damp cloth and started cleaning you. Can this man be any more fucking perfect? He threw the rag into the laundry bin and pulled his boxers on. Once he climbed back on the bed and hovered over you, that stupid ass smirk returned to his face. “Any other requests, my sweet mouse?”

Everything faded away as you looked up at him. You couldn’t believe that this man wanted you at all. It took everything in you not to cry from disbelief. You felt as if this were some sick trick, someone spending money to make this feel real just to eventually rip the rug out from underneath you and send you plummeting into darkness again. You wanted this to be real. You wanted Minho.

You grabbed his face and pulled him down so his lips could meet yours. It was slow and intimate, a drastic change from the earlier hunger. When you pulled back, you were inches from his face and staring deep into his two black pools for eyes. “Be my boyfriend.”

His smile was enormous and you had never seen anything more beautiful. He wrapped you in his arms and rolled the two of you over so you were flat on top of him with his hands tightly squeezing you in a hug. You dug your face into the crook of his neck to inhale more of his earthy and musky scent. “Fucking finally.” 

You looked up at him with an unamused face. “I assume that’s a yes?” He laughed at you.

“Yes, I suppose I will keep you around.” You giggled as you smiled at him and, again, he was all you could see, the brightest light smiling at you. He usually kept a confident or indifferent composure, but this was a completely different side of Minho you had never witnessed.

“Fucking finally…” You mocked and repeated his earlier statement and he squeezed you tight while rolling around on the bed. You protested but he continued rolling you around like a ragdoll. You suddenly realized that you were still completely naked. “Min!” You laughed as he winded up squishing you with his strong body flat on top of yours.

“Mousebed, 5 stars.” He snuggled up on top of your neck.

You squeaked out. “Min… I can’t breathe!”

“Don’t act like you don’t like it.” He kissed your neck gently.

“I’m gonna die.”

A dramatic sigh escaped his lungs and he reluctantly rolled over to lay next to you. “I would threaten you more, but I can’t hurt my new girlfriend just yet.”

“Just yet? What the hell is that supposed to mean?” You sat up and looked down at him incredulously.

He formed an evil grin. “Pain and pleasure are just two sides of the same coin, little mouse.” He grazed his hand over your thigh and your heart dropped out of your ass. Holy hell this man is going to be the death of me. Your thighs squeezed together as your pussy started to ache from excitement. And of course the bastard's eye catched it. “Excited are we?”

You pushed yourself off the bed and glared at him. “No! I was just contemplating whether to punch your stupid smug face or not!” He sat up on the bed and watched your naked body saunter off to start the shower.

“Even though you might be the most badass girl I’ve ever met–” He said it loud enough for you to hear. Without realizing he came up behind you, he wrapped his arms around you after shucking off his boxers and the two of you entered the shower as he whispered in your ear. “But I can still make you weak underneath me, baby girl.”

Your heart palpitated as he trailed open mouthed kisses down the side of your neck. “No marks, Min…” You breathed out your words in a desperate tone.

He hummed in response. “Hmm… It doesn’t seem quite fair that you marked me all over my neck, but I can’t claim you with mine.” He bit your earlobe, still swaying you back and forth with his arms around you from behind as the hot water cascaded down your bodies.

You twisted around in his arms and grabbed his shoulders, pushing him away at arm's length. He still had a cocky smirk on his face. “You want Chan to question me? Have me tell him that I’m fooling around with some other guy? You know he would want to meet the mystery man.” His smile dissipated into a scowl.

“Fuck no, I don’t want our circle thinking your fucking anyone but me.” He crossed his arms and looked like an annoyed teenager.

“Okay well, one: you refuse to fuck me. And two: the guys don’t and won’t know we’re together anyway.” He rolled his eyes and zoned out on the wall with his eyebrows furrowed in frustration. You put your hands on his cheeks and turned his head to face you. “What is it, Min?”

He grabbed your hands and pulled them off his face. “Do we seriously have to keep it a secret? It really is stupid.” His arms returned to their crossed position. “Do you not want people to know?” His voice was accusatory.

You glowered at him. “Min. Are you serious right now? Chan made his intentions blatantly clear. I don’t want my boyfriend to end up being a smear on the carpet, it would never be able to get that stain out!” That earned a repressed smile out of him and your annoyance slightly decreased. “You know I am more than proud to officially be yours… I… I just need time to change his mind…”

He tensed his jaw, closed his eyes, and let out a big sigh. “Okay…” 

- - - - - - - - - -

It had been a few weeks and you and Minho had been so busy with school and work, you only got to see each other in classes. Even your tutoring days were postponed due to constant work.

When you did find a break in your schedule, you had taken the chance to find a good doctor. She was able to get you set up with an IUD for good birth control. That is… if Minho was ever ready.

You couldn’t do much fooling around at the moment anyway with all of the work you had to do. The spring season made everyone want to get out and enjoy the air. Causing more people stop by the café and more work for you.

You didn’t mind work, you actually loved your job at the coffee shop, but it also meant less Minho time. You finally started taking orders when your boss was satisfied with your Korean speech and Hangul writing.

One day during work, the boss man came to check up on things. You actually really liked him, he was patient and funny. A really chill guy. So you decided you would try your luck at a suggestion for the business.

“Good afternoon Mr. Choi! How’s your day been?” He sighed and slumped into the back room office chair.

“About as well it can be with a full day of paying bills.” He cracked his neck and looked half asleep.

“Wow, my favorite days! Don’t you have a secretary or a manager that helps you with that?”

“Psh, I fucking wish. No, I’m alone in this fight.” He leaned forward in his seat. “So what’s up girly? You needed to talk to me?”

You caught yourself nervously fiddling with your fingers and pulled them to your sides. “Yes, sir! First off, have you heard of that lounge down the road? Eunsincheo?”

“Yeah! Pretty cool little place they’ve got there. Seems really chill.” He suddenly looked more lively and you regained your confidence.

“Yeah! It’s a really nice place! My roommate actually works there—“

“Oh yeah, that muscley guy that comes to see you all the time?” 

“Yeah! That’s Chan. Well, I go there a lot to see him and their coffee is… for lack of a better word, it’s complete shit.” He absolutely cackled at that and you chuckled to yourself. “Well, my point is, I was wondering if you had ever considered collaborating or creating a sister store? Both of our businesses are small and local and I feel like it would have a positive impact on not only our revenue, but also on theirs.”

He was nodding to himself in contemplation with furrowed brows. “Is this something you have discussed with their management?”

“No, sir. I didn’t want to get ahead of myself until I spoke to you first.” He seemed to appreciate that answer.

He suddenly swiveled to face the office desktop and pulled the agenda up on the screen. “How about this, you write up a plan and an outline of all the expenses and steps needed to take. I will email you a summary of our current budget and you can calculate what our potential revenue would be. If you can get that information to me by next month and it looks doable, I will let you handle the entire project.”

You almost couldn’t believe it. You were sure he would at least give you the stereotypical ‘let me think about it’ and then never mention it again. This was better than anything you could’ve asked for. You deeply bowed. “Yes, sir! Thank you so much!” You enthusiastically shook his hand. “I will work on that right away! You won’t regret this, sir.”

He laughed at your eagerness. “Well, it’s not a done deal yet, Y/N. It all depends on the budget.” He stood up and shook your hand again. “I look forward to see what you will prepare.”

You were almost jumping with joy. You couldn’t wait to tell Chan. Hell, if you got to be in charge of it, you could probably get to work at Eunsincheo with Chan, Changbin, and Jisung! Every day in this country kept getting better and better. The next time you decided to pay your dues to your Bang ‘parents’, you would have to let them know, once again, how grateful you were to them.

_________________________________________

Click here for Part Three

2chopsticks2eyes - Masterlist

#lee know smut #lee know x reader #lee know fanfic #minho smut #kpop smut #stray kids smut #kpop imagines #skz smut #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #skz imagines #stray kids fanfic #skz scenarios #lee know x female reader

[miniscrew-anon]

Texting HC for the boys

Wind - Uses discord way more than text. Commonly mutes chats. He gets a million discord messages from different groups and he can't be bothered to listen to every time someone complains about the mountain of dishes he left in the sink. If you really want to reach Wind you have to jump on discord or go to his room.

Twilight - Doesn’t like to send more than one message in a row because someone called him desperate one (1) time in high school and he never recovered. So instead he’ll send you a whole paragraph and agonize if he forgot to mention something. Everyone’s told him its fine to send literally a million texts in a row but Twi can’t get over it.

Warriors - Will 🙌 ironically 😎 text 📲 like ❤️ this 👏. But only when he wants to be annoying. Otherwise he’s fine and he can use emojis like hieroglyphics if he wants and he’s able to make himself very clear with just an eggplant emoji and a raised brow emoji.

Wild - Commonly texts the wrong chat and confuses the hell out of people. Accidentally forgets his phone in the other room and doesn’t see people’s messages until its several hours too late btu still texts them back like “oops sorry just saw this man” as if they didn’t know. Uses emojis liberally and goes on tangents and makes everyone forget what they were talking about. The people love hearing from him, but its hard to stay on topic when Wild is in the group chat.

Champion - Full words, no abbreviations. Will straight up send you an “acknowledged” instead of an “ok” to let you know he read your message. Never uses emojis. Ever. The one time Warriors did convince Champ to send a thumbs up emoji to Sky instead of “affirmative”, Sky almost broke down the dormitory door because he thought Champion had gotten kidnapped and was sending a coded cry for help.

Legend - Spams the fuck out of everyones phone when he’s pissed, which is a lot of the time. Doens’t give a shit what group text he’s in he’ll fucking send you an essay one sentance at a time cursing Sky out for eating the last of his goddamn breadpudding.

Hyrule - Never responds on time. He’s always busy and in a rush so when he reads a text and it doesn’t say something like “help i got shanked and now my liver is flopping around on the ground like a beached fish” then he’ll promptly forget what he just read. At the end of the day he might flip through his messages to check what he missed but normally he relies on Legend to fill him in on anything important.

Sky - Forgets which group chats hold which roommates so he’s the guy who will start a new chat every time he has a question. Has basically every permutation of group chats possible and yet will still find a way to make more. And he gives them names like “get milk” and “hairdryer?” so you never know whos in the group chat at a glance. It’s impossible to find anything. Plus, he sends texts half-asleep that mean nothing when he gets woken up too early.

Four - His texts are inconsistent as hell. Sometimes its emoji hell, sometimes it’s MLA essay format. But two things are always consistent: you can always detect the sarcasm and he’ll turn on his read receipts just to let you know he left you on read.

Time - Texts in full sentences but overall is a normal texter. But he types with his pointer finger with two hands so his real crime is being old.

Dark - When he got put away texting was in its infancy so he texts like “G8 C u L8r” and “ur 2 much”. The first time he texts Time after he gets out Time feels his soul vaporized by the blast from the past. Thankfully it only takes Dark one text to Shadow before the boy is physically showing up outside Dark's door to bring him into this century.

Shadow - Spams dumbass videos and memes like his life depends on it. His job is a lot of waiting around so he’s got time to kill and you Will receive messages from him at 39 mph (memes per hour).

#townhouse au #hsh au #st0rmyverse #HSH headcanons

[tmnt-obsessed-ace]

We know about how Ghost would react to your SSDF au but what about your original iteration tmnt: solar flare?

Idk if I should answer this since I have barely even TALKED about tmnt: solar glare on this blog. Let alone actually get the turtles ref sheets made. But on the other hand making Ghost suffer is very fun...

So Im doing it anyways

@bluepeachstudios Im borrowing the sad old man again (he's too much fun not too)

Putting it all under a read more because spoilers for a lot of major plot points in solar flare. If you dont wanna be spoiled dont look

You have been warned :)

The first thing Ghost would think is "How the shell are these kids not dead?" Because the turtles are absolute DANGER MAGNETS

These absolute idiots, on their first night being on the surface:

FOUGHT THE GODDAMN SHREDDER

NEARLY GOT KILLED BY THE SHREDDER

Got sent to the Spirit Realm

Got attacked by angry spirits

Accidentally CURSED themselves by messing with something they were absolutely not supposed to mess with

Barely escaped the Spirit Realm, now fully cursed

Accidently UNLEASHED dozens of angry spirits into New York

And to make matters worse they got discovered followed back home by a HUMAN (April)

That was NIGHT ONE

Ghost and his brothers were lucky, they only fought Mousers and the Purple Dragons on their first night

And it only gets worse

That curse I mentioned, it has pros and cons. The pros being that it can turn the boys into literal shadows, enhance their strength and speed, make them near completely invulnerable to attack, actually let them attack the previously untouchable spirits, (let then turn into giant shadow monsters), etc. The CONS on the other hand is that the curse is slowly KILLING THEM. Draining more and more of their energy, breaking their bodies a little more each time. And the more that the cool shadow abilities are used the faster the effects are, the worse they'll get and the longer they'll last. Yeah. Ghost would absolutely not have a good time with that. (And would most definitely devote as much time as he could to trying to create a cure or at least find a way to lessen the side effects)

Anyways then theres the matter of the Spirits running loose, very strong, very angry vengeful spirits. That cant be knocked out or killed, they have to be banished back to the Spirit Realm. Which is not at all an easy task. (And considering that the boys will at one point spend an entire WEEK fighting those ghostly fucks practically nonstop to the point that they dont even go back to the lair until they are literally about to pass out from sheer exhaustion...yeah not fun. Ghost might have to carry them all back home) And there's also the Shredder and his growing army of goons causing trouble. Point is Ghost is gonna have a REALLY hard time keeping the kids from constantly fighting for their lives against incredibly strong enemies instead of actually being kids. Poor Ghost

The constant stress and fear along is definitely straining the boys' relationships with each other.

Especially between Leo and Raph. The two closest siblings of the family. The ones that said they were twins and stood by that for their entire lives.

And now they're arguing practically all the time. Cant even go one mission without at least one argument. Leo making reckless plans thinking they'll work perfectly fine then panicking when things inevitably go south and Raph getting angry at him for "screwing up" only because Raph is absolutely TERRIFIED. And Ghost trying to be the mediator, but its hard when you have two incredibly stubborn sixteen year old boys at each other's throats. (Ghost is reminded of the many many Raph-Leo fights that his own Raphael and Leonardo used to have. Only somehow, these are worse.) It just escalates and escalates further and further until one night.

When Raph and Leo actually FIGHT each other.

And it ends when Raph full on quits the team and leaves. Leaves Leo alone on that rooftop, in the pouring rain. (Ghost will never forget that shocked, borderline horrified look on Leo's face as the reality and the guilt over what just happened sets in)

Raph doesnt come home.

Ghost thought he just needed time to cool off but he still doesnt come home. It gets to the point that he tracks the red clad turtle down.

Only to find him in the Footclan headquarters.

Raph had joined the Footclan because he was so tired of the fighting, the arguing.

(Obviously Ghost would go over there to try and break Raph out by any means necessary, even when Raph refuses to leave. He didnt want to join his family's biggest enemies but he was angry when he said yes and now he thinks he's in too deep to leave, even despite Ghost's attempts to reason with him)

Which leads to Leo to do something really, really, really stupid. Not saying what because major spoilers but it ends with him willingly offering himself up to be taken to another dimension in exchange for his family being spared the same fate.

What would happen to him there? Ghost doesnt know.

But that swirling white portal, his child being handcuffed and pushed through despite how hard everyone, Ghost included, is begging for this not to happen, no matter how hard he fights against his own restraints he cant free himself, it breaks something inside him.

All he can do is watch helplessly as Leo disappears into a portal, just like he did when he was sixteen himself, presumably to never be seen again.

Leo is gone for an entire month.

An entire of Ghost obsessively working on the portal with Donnie, trying so so hard to get it to work so they can find him. A month of trying to keep the family together and comfort his poor children who are falling apart at the seams. (Donnie doesnt sleep much anymore, trying so incredibly hard to get the portal working, even moreso than Ghost. Mikey teetering on the verge of a breakdown, going out with April and Casey to search for any signs of Leo every single night. Raph is consumed with guilt, it had been HIS fault that this whole mess happened, and now the poor boy is trying desperately to help his family while also trying to defect from the Footclan, which isnt easy.) A month of searching for the people that took Leo away, a month of hoping and praying that Leo was alright.

And then Leo comes home, with a white samurai rabbit in tow (Despite everything, Ghost finds it a little amusing that some things never change, even across dimensions)

He's different now. Quieter, not nearly as excited as he used to be. His arms and legs are completely wrapped up in black wrappings, up to the shoulder and upper thighs respectively. And he refuses to take the wrappings off. (He now has a slight limp on his right side, his brothers dont notice it but Ghost absolutely does.) And most importantly he refuses to talk about what happened when they were separated. Always saying "Its nothing." "I dont wanna talk about it." "There's nothing to talk about." "I'm fine."

Ghost is worried about him, obviously something happened. Something bad enough to turn the silly, dorky, hero-wannabe kid into this quiet, reclusive, guarded boy. Usagi knows as well but just says its not his story to tell.

Ghost tries to talk to him but every time he gets brushed off. (He did manage to figure out it somehow involved the Battle Nexus, from the tiny bits of information Leo shared. Though he highly doubts it was the same Battle Nexus he used to know) All he can do is provide comfort whenever Leo seeks him out, usually late at night and usually the result of a nightmare. (Which have become much much more frequent, only adding to Ghost's worry)

And unfortunately Leo is not the only one going through hell.

Because not long after Leo's return and Raph finally leaving the Footclan, Mikey gets captured. It would be bad enough if it was Shredder or the Krang. But it is so much worse and makes Ghost's blood run cold.

Mikey was captured by the EPF.

Ghost vividly remembers how a similar situation happened to him and his own Michelangelo. (How Mikey was almost dissected in front of him, how his own mid was torn apart for all the world to see. Bishop...)

The family hurriedly breaking into the EPF lab, hoping that they'll find Mikey in time.

They didnt.

Mikey wasnt as lucky as Ghost's Michelangelo.

Bishop, that sick twisted bitch, actually cut Mikey open.

Ghost's worst fear had been realized.

(Ghost never wants to see Mikey's bloody plastron and exposed ribcage ever again for as long as he lives. Watching his frantic heart gradually slow the more blood gushed out.)

And it only gets worse

Because Mikey, in a desperate last ditch effort to try and escape, he somehow activated a part of the curse that no one knew they had.

The ability to transform.

He had turned into a massive DRAGON made entirely of shadows (the only reason they knew it was him was because of the bright orange markings on the shadow dragon's body.)

And the dragon went on a rampage, obliterating the EPF lab including majority of the staff. (Unfortunately Bishop survived, which was a shame) and once the lab was destroyed it attacked New York, trying to tear everything apart in blind fear and panic. (Those terrified screeches will haunt Ghost for the rest of his life.)

It nearly killed them all trying to calm Mikey back down enough to get him home and stitched up. (And then clinging to Ghost like a scared koala for a very long time, not like Ghost can blame him.) And the worst part of this whole Dragon affair? Mikey cant CONTROL IT.

So that means the second his emotions get out of control, here comes the terrified dragon that will lash out at anyone perceived as a threat. (Which is anything that moves.)

And each time Mikey is beating himself up with immense guilt and fear that he will hurt the people he loves.

This is only the tip of the Solar Flare trauma train.

There will be more. (Raph and Donnie are gonna get their's too. So will April, Casey, and Splinter)

Other traumatic/weird events include:

Donnie getting kidnapped by Karai, which leads to April and their parents getting kidnapped. Which leads to April getting thrown off a building and Karai losing her entire arm. April is only 13 in this au btw so oh boy Karai better fucking run because once GHOST hears about that she might lose more than an arm.

Leo gets turned into a cat

Raph and Mikey get kidnapped by clowns

The boys get captured by an alien bounty hunter and taken to a completely different galaxy. Poor Ghost is gonna have an absolute heart attack.

The boys bring home a giant sea monster and keep it as a pet in the sewers. (They name it Jeffrey. Ghost left them alone for five minutes HOW DID THEY DO THIS?!?!)

Both RAPH AND LEO get thrown through the window in the Krang invasion. And Raph ends up in a coma (Leo already had his turn in a coma) Ghost having an absolute heart attack reliving this awful moment TWICE.

April's parents find out about the turtles (and later their paternal grandparents find out when the fam go to stay at their farmhouse)

The turtles are gonna be stuck in a timeloop for an entire month. (The entire month leading up to the Krang Invasion. They went from having a month to prevent it to only having a day and a half. Which is why the invasion happens.) Ghost will never forget that look of pure dread on his kids's faces when they looked up at the blood red sky filled with krangships. This is exactly what he didnt want to happen, his kids having to grow up too fast and get into problems far too big for them.

Also bonus: the turtles first meet Casey by literally RUNNING HIM OVER. The kids call Ghost frantically saying that they "accidently murdered someone what do we do?"

Poor Ghost, poor traumatized turtles

Lol

#tmnt ghost in the shell #tmnt: solar flare #borrowing ghost is so fun #put him in fun situations #I really need to talk about Solar Flare more #and get alk the reference sheets drawn ._. #lol

[julietasgf]

OMG I SAW THE STRABO FIC AND LET OUT THE MOST EXCITED FERAL SCREECH Strabo's father being so cruel to a child, ok I can see why Strabo turned out the way he is because goddamn, no child deserves to hear those things. Did Strabo's father and mother even love each other because the way the father talks about Strabo's ma is just so???? "dreadful personality", " pure hatred, pure fury", "scary"...does this man even love his wife and son?? And his pa slapping him so hard HIS BABY TOOTH FLEW OUT😭 turns out there is an even worse father than strabo omg I knew you said you imagined the pa to remarry soon after Strabo's ma died, but damn that was really fast. 8 months after the first wife dies, he remarries? How did he even find someone new that fast and get them to marry him when he's such a mean and bitter man? THE PART ABOUT A PRIEST CURSING STRABO AND HIS FUTURE OFFSPRING, SEJANUS YOU NEVER STOOD A CHANCE, YOU WERE DOOMED FROM THE START, but ok why is a priest cursing a 6 year old? I get being angry about a kid shooting an offering to the gods but again, he's just a kid, there's usually more leeway around children I'm crying at Strabo saying he was gonna protect the house but said nothing about protecting his stepmom, and he wonders why Sejanus is so mouthy lol, like buddy he inherited his mouthiness from you! Strabo saying he was a lonely child had me going awww until he was like, actually I like it this way, boy loved his peace and quiet lol, but him being too bossy and too boring to other children his age is just so on brand for him lmao Ouch to him being forced to care for siblings he has no desire to care for, especially since being caring absolutely does not come naturally to him. Does he resent his brothers? I can kinda see why if he does because parentification sucks and you should let children be children, not force them to care for other children. It just sucks all around because the twins don't have their actual parents caring for them and Strabo is forced to grow up even faster... omg the twins being named Remus and Romulus...please don't tell me this Romulus kills this Remus, like what happens in the myth...I need at least these Plinth siblings to be happy after what Strabo put them through😭 The twins looking just like Strabo except for their eyes!! If the twins' future kids look just like them too, I hope Strabo gets a mini heart attack whenever he sees their faces around D2 (or on the screen for the 25th games...) I also noticed that the twins called their father "dad" while Strabo refers to him as "Pa", was that intentional and is there a deeper meaning to that? But please not the parents punishing Strabo for making mistakes with the twins when they aren't even around to care for their own kids.... The twins calling Strabo "Bo" is so cute but ofc the man doesn't appreciate it (I have another nickname for Strabo that also starts with a B, but this one isn't kid-friendly) Strabo telling the twins to go upstairs to hide while he fends off the debt collector is convincing me more that he truly does care about the twins, he's just hiding it deep down under how tired and resentful he is of having to care for kids when he's still a kid himself (even if he doesn't act like one), unless I'm reading it wrong and he truly is just apathetic towards the twins and just doesn't wanna get in trouble with his father and stepmom for not properly defending the twins? But the twins saying they wanna be just like him when they grow up...my heart, and no you actually do not wanna be like Strabo, trust me

HELLO ANON HOW ARE YOU DOING? hope you're doing fine!! :)) (as always, I'm going to answer everything in one post 😭)

there were some themes that I really wanted to work with this fic, besides the generational trauma and the idea of cycles. one of them is how collectivist cultures have their pros and cons, and one of the cons is that usually, you're highly disencouraged to have something against your parents. they could've been assholes to you, and still, there'll always be someone asking "oh but they're your parents, they're family", because family is extremely important and something you have to endure no matter what. and I say that because I look at my parents' parents and they were the worst, and still, my parents still talk to them, keep them around, go to family gatherings and stuff. and it's not something isolated, it just... happens a lot, sadly, and it makes even harder to break the cycle

his pa was a dick. strabo doesn't think badly of him. he's better than him, but he still think his pa did some stuff right ("I went through it when I was your age and I am totally okay" no babe, you're not, seek therapy <3)

to me, strabo's parents were the classical kind that were reckless, had kids and now have to marry because of social stuff. then boom, unhappy marriage, traumatized kid. if I had to bet, it was a woman who got widowed too young, and now is desperate for another marriage (again, social stuff, misogyny, etc etc).

sejanus is doomed not even from the time he's born, he's doomed WAAAAAY before (you can take this in a more supernatural way, with the faith of the mountains being 100% real and influencing his tragic life, or just in the fact that he was just simply doomed bc of his bloodline; his ma had horrible parents, his pa had horrible parents, it's a cycle that comes long before him. his ma got her life destroyed by a too ambitious man. isn't really a surprise when his life is also destroyed). the priest was so wrong for thisKSKSKSKSKS 😭 but in his defense, it's for sure not the first time strabo shoots in one of the offerings, poor guy was probably at his limit atp

strabo is WILD, he'll just say anything (before he learned how to keep quiet and speak the right things at the right times). I just think it's so funny the idea of sejanus getting so much of his temper after strabo (he's mouthy, he's stubborn, he'll just say whatever is on his mind without thinking twice), so that's why strabo is so sure he can fix sejanus bc he was once like that 😭 (spoiler: he can't fix sejanus)

I feel like he's torn regarding the twins; he raised these kids since they were babies, he does have a soft spot for them, but also... he does resent them. it's not fair that they even got a mother, while strabo has himself and nobody else (his father doesn't really count), while having to take care of them. it's like when you know these ppl aren't to blame for the bad thing that happened, but still, they're the one you find yourself feeling angry about. NAHH I put their names bc they're twins (and plus, they were birthed by a woman, but raised by a wolf, I thought it suited well), but these two are very much happy in D2 <3 I really want them to have a happy life (until the first quarter quell welp

oh FOR SURE strabo saw the twins around D2 sometime; probably he moved to a place far away from the center to avoid this, but it's impossible to not see them around at least once. and he recognizes these faces, just like him, except kinder (and when he sees green eyes for the first quarter quell? oh, boy. he already knows. green eyes are not common in D2, you know. how would there be another explanation?). but noooo this was just me being a bit tired and not paying my whole attention when writing, I accidently let it pass, I'm so sorry 😭 PLS this makes me so mad, like, these are YOUR children, YOU should be raising them, not another child

I CACKLED he doesn't deserve being called bo, it's such a cute nickname 😔 I do think he cares about the twins, in his own way!! when he starts working and getting money from the store, he buys them new clothes, for example. he's bitter, he's resentful, but he DOES care about them. it's just that he's too angry to actually show it, or to even recognize it. hopefully the twins are VERY different from him; they grow up to be kind people, actually.

bro I'm always impressed at how many people actually do that (I mean, starting a store/factory and just being the worst at it). some ppl do that with the mindset with not wanting to work to someone anymore, which I think it's fair to some point, but usually they don't prepare theirselves to do it and run it, and it ends in disaster. yesssss I tried to include some parallels to coriolanus in this, and this is one of them!! (the big difference is that coriolanus pretty much did that his whole life, strabo LEARNED how to do this, how to hide the bad person he is inside and his feelings and smile and say whatever ppl want to hear).

ngl I do feel a bit bad for him, but in the same way I felt bad for coriolanus reading tbosas: I understand why you're like this and I don't think you deserved to go through this, but still, my anger towards you and what you've done to the people around you is much bigger than my symphathy. abt him naming sejanus after his father, it's exactly what I said early on: it's irrational, it's ilogical, but it's too much common (plus, since the factory did start with his father, I think that as it grew bigger and he got richer, he feels like he owe something to his father; this is also his way to say sort of thank you, trading legacy for legacy)

his stepmother wanting the factory gave me the same vibes of when an old relative dies and now all the relatives are fighting for a piece of land, but when you actually see the piece of land it's CLEARLY not worth it, and everyone is just being so dumb ☠️ I think it's more because of the sense of owning it. like, okay, strabo is working on it, but it's not hers. it's not something on her name. it's not something she can pass down to her kids. is it irrational? of course! but I also think she thought that he was going to leave them one time or another, bc of how much they fight and how explosive he is, so either she gets the factory now to make sure it won't happen or just loses it all at once. I think she underestimated him regarding the twins; I really don't think he would leave them in other occasion. regardless, it WAS a stupid decision.

THEY WERE JUST BABIESSSSSS JUST EIGHT YEARS OLD, FFS!!! (also, the fact that when strabo's relationship with his son gets 100% strained is when sejanus is also eight 😀 I'm not okay)

he definitely thought she was silly for it and probably mocked it once, but vesta takes her faith too seriously, and when he made a joke about it she gave him a glare that was enough for him to shut up and know to not joke about this (also, I think he does respect her to some extent, as for example letting her keep her little space in their house in memory of D2; I think he would think it's stupid, but wouldn't mind as long as she doesn't try to make him pray for the mountains). okay so, I think they were well-established merchants, but in the same way there are merchants in D12, yk; they aren't in the urban center, like strabo, and mostly sell stuff in the east end. they are better off compared to the other ppl in east end, but still, low-middle class at best, and they for sure never starved. I imagine them owning something like a bodega! so, one day, strabo sits down with her dad, and is like "would you like.... to form an alliance?" okay, not like this, but he did convince the man to use his cash reserves to invest in an expasion of his factory with the promise that it would benefit both the families. I think I didn't express myself well, I'm so sorry for the confusion!!! 😭

that man got four daughters, I'm just so sure he kept trying to get a son until he noticed it just wouldn't happen, and then got bitter over it. oh, absolutely he does buy into gender roles, just in a different way; he's the type of guy to go like "I wouldn't fight a girl" at the same time he's too indifferent to care about it regarding too important stuff ("you have two hands? you can shoot.") I do think he would be kinder to the twins if they were girls (and this also applies to sejanus; he would be kinder to him, too).

if I'm not wrong, they met when he was 20, and I think she was 18 (she was finishing school, as she was actually able to finish it). okay, so, I'm not from the usa (cries in international system of units), so I searched up to turn cm into ft, hope it's right 😭 but I think strabo to be around 6'0" (1,83m) and vesta around 5'6" (1,68m); of course she's not that short, but I hc people in D2 to be usually tall, so comparing to the average D2 person, she's short lol (also, it's just so funny to me the hc that sejanus was a small kid in D2, and then he got to the capitol and comparing to the others he was the tallest on their class)

(your asks definitely aren't overwhelming my inbox!!! I get so happy receiving them actually :(((( no need to be sorry, I thank you)

I HAD SO MUCH FUN WRITING THIS bc I was writing the way he thought and laughing at it because that man really thought a girl would travel from the other side of D2 just to poison him. alright, mate. sure. (I really think he's very alike coriolanus regarding this, thinking that everyone is against him or plotting against him 😭) if I have the silliest little opportunity, I will always include wlw in my works (let's go lesbians!!! let's go!!!), so I was giggling and kicking my feet when I got the opportunity to include her sister having a gf <3 I think most of her sisters were able to break the cycle and be happy, either by being alone, or dating better people, but... well... the cycle kept cycling regarding poor vesta.

nothing can actually make me think that it wasn't vesta who made the first move, I just know she was head over heels on the first minute 😭 strabo really pulling a coriolanus, like "omg I hate poor people" babe look in the mirror. because he isn't even rich atp, he's just slightly better than her financially.

her standards are really too low because she fell in love with a guy because he treated her well, oh boy, if only she knew he would ruin her life. and again strabo pulling a coriolanus (in the same way he spent half the book being like "I hate district ppl" just to then fall for a district girl 😭). I think they married around 23, so they spent like... around 3 years dating.

anon I'm so happy you enjoyed, and I have to thank YOU because your asks motivated me writing <33 and next chapter let's go with the daddy issues and plus more generational trauma and plus playing stupid games and winning stupid prizes

IT KINDA IS THE SAME MINDSET WITH SEJANUS, I imagine sejanus crying about having to go to shooting lessons and strabo being like "I did it when I was much younger than you". I think he goes with the kind of thought that's like "I'm not going to repeat the same mistakes, but I'll keep doing what I think that was right", but the point is: he did think his pa was right by being so stern to him, by treating him almost like a soldier. so, yeah. he DOES keep repeating the same mistakes, just in another form. KSKSKSKSKSKS the thought of one of the twins charging strabo the triple the price is just so funny oh my god 😭 they DO deserve some sort of revenge, but I think karma does enough for him. oh boy, imagine strabo seeing these kids running around during the rebellion, and being happy and so full of energy, and he looks at sejanus and he looks so sad, so lonely, and it's nobody's but strabo's fault. yeah. that's the problem with his karma, it affected much more ppl than just him :( NOBODY convinces me that someone didn't leak some of the votes of the first quarter quell. the pain, the betrayal, the destruction of the sense of community; of course that if your neighbour needs to protect their own kid by voting in yours, they WILL do it. and even if your kid doesn't get reaped... it's still so fucked up. I don't think I would be able to live in society anymore after that

the fact that he does have abilities with kids and is still able to fuck things up with sejanus is something else. OH MY GOD THIS IS HEARTBREAKING. he really never stood a chance, did he? 😭 not being able to bond with his maternal cousins bc of age, not being able to bond with his paternal cousins bc of his father's strained relationship with his uncles. KSKSKSKSKS strabo getting physical pain the first time he gets home to find sejanus playing with stuffed animals, and he asks what is sejanus doing, and sejanus goes like "I'm playing doctor pa :)", and strabo thinks it's just a phase. it isn't. and sejanus gets older, and strabo tries to coaxe him into another profession, ANY OTHER PROFESSION, REALLY, ANYTHING ELSE, teacher?? engineer?? lawyer?? baker?? veterinarian?? but nothing works and now he's sure this is destiny getting back at him 😭

anon, again thank you for sending me your thoughts, they make me very happy <33 take care!!

#tbosas #tbosas movie #sejanus plinth #strabo plinth #ma plinth #ask #anon ask #my silly little thoughts #hc #hcs #headcanons #plinth family

[until-the-brahmin-come-home]

little snippet that i don't think is really going anywhere anytime soon (it's just Nate thinking about his prosthetic and being briefly kinda gay for Danse):

The Brotherhood had made him a cybernetic hand. It wasn’t better or worse than the first one he had gotten, over two centuries ago now, after the initial loss. Just different. But still not good enough; nothing could ever be good enough.

The best way he could explain it was that there was a delay. Imperceptible to anyone watching, for sure, but that tiny fraction of a second was enough to make every movement with the hand miserable. So he usually went without.

The other issue is proprioception. And god, isn’t that an old world word now – and he doesn’t even remember where he learned it. In the doctor’s office, maybe, in those long hours where they outlined his recovery and fitted him for a new hand. He can’t feel the prosthetic the way he can feel his other limbs, even if he can make it move with a thought. It’s just dead weight hanging from his elbow.

It does make some activities more difficult, even if he’s mostly learned to adapt by now. He’s not as good with rifles, his attempts at sewing usually end in him cursing at the fabric, and he can’t do the fine manipulation he used to be able to when working on mechanical projects. That’s generally the only time he puts the arm on, anymore, when he has a vision he needs to make real and absolutely needs all ten fingers to pull it off. Otherwise, he asks for help.

He used to be bad at that. Used to go for days running on fumes because his stepfather and brothers and every other goddamn person had drilled it into his mind that asking for help was a weakness. He had gotten better because of Nora. Because she was bad at asking for help, too. It had taken a lot of nights going mad with worry over her before he realized that she likely did the same over him, and they came to a mutual agreement to just reach out to each other if they needed anything. That, more than anything, served as the foundation of their marriage. What was love, if not helping one another?

He missed her all the time. This skip into the future had been messy and confusing, a chaotic scramble to keep the people he cared about alive. Nora was often away on her own missions trying to eke out an existence in the wasteland, while he played nice with the Brotherhood or investigated the safer mysteries available to him. He spent his days playing twenty questions with Piper, teaching Dogmeat new tricks, cleaning up settlements with Preston and Codsworth. He knew he was being useful. He just...still missed Nora.

He scrubbed a hand over his beard and groaned. He had preferred to keep it trimmed neat, before getting flash-frozen, but that was less of an option now. He rooted around in his pack until he found his straight razor, idly flicking it open. It was a bit of a bitch to pull off, but he had managed to shave like this before. It was just a bit of a process, and he’d probably nick himself a couple times.

“Problem, soldier?” came Danse’s voice suddenly, and Nate barely refrained from flinching. The man was rarely stealthy, but Nate had been lost in thought.

“I just need to shave,” he said, tapping the flat of the blade on his thigh. Danse frowned – or rather, frowned deeper. There was usually a mild scowl on his face. Nate tried not to take it personally.

“Do you want me to fetch your-” Nate waved him off before he could even finish his sentence.

“No need, really. I can handle it. Thank you, paladin,” Nate didn’t mean to bring out the title, but he had a habit of doing such things when he got annoyed with people. Danse never seemed to notice. Sometimes, the man’s obliviousness was endearing. Other times...less so.

“But wouldn’t it be easier?” Danse pressed, moving so he was more directly in Nate’s line of sight. Nate grumbled something wordless, before flipping the razor around and offering Danse the handle.

“If you’re so worried about me, why don’t you do it yourself?” he asked. He meant it mostly as a joke, but watching the way Danse flushed and looked away, he was immediately swept up in the possibility. Danse’s hands on his face, careful and precise. He was sure Danse would take to it with the same brisk efficiency the soldier approached most tasks. And he wouldn’t dare let the blade slip.

Okay, let’s dial it back a little, Nate thought to himself.

#fallout 4 #fallout danse #oc tag: nate #my writing

[miyuhpapayuh]

14. can't catch a break.

"How was your first session?" She asks Rod, as he sits on the coffee table and plays with her fingers.

"It was entirely too deep for a first session, in my opinion, but talking about shit wasn't as bad as I thought it was gonna be. I guess.”

“Yeah?”

He sighs. “Yeah. It's weird. I felt real out of place.”

"Hey, look at me." His sad brown orbs find her face, making her frown. "It's okay. Everybody has their faults. It matters what you do to overcome them, okay? I'd never judge you. Please, don't shut me out. If you don't wanna talk about it, we don't have to."

"I'd never shut you out. I just appreciate you for even talking to me after seeing that shit. I just don't want you to be scared—"

"I'm not scared of you. I know you just wanna protect me. I just want you to find other alternatives, okay? You can't just go around choking people— unless it's me."

He cracks a smile, making her laugh.

"Aw, he's smiling for me!" He pulls her up from the couch to sit on his lap, giving her sweet kisses, causing her skin to break out in goosebumps.

She laughs and pulls away, cupping his face in her hands. His plump lips now have a red tint to them from her red lipstick.

"Red is definitely your color, boo." He lets out an obnoxious laugh, making her cover her ears.

"We both apologized. She's goin’ through some stuff, so I'm just gonna give her some space. We'll be fine."

Rod lays on her stomach and plays with the drawstring on her shorts, while she plays with the ends of his lavender durag.

“I'm glad y'all talked it out.”

“Yeah, me too.”

"You wanna go somewhere?" He pulls his head up from her stomach and waits for an answer.

"Yeah, sure. Where to?"

Roughly, forty five minutes later..

They're sitting inside a little diner, a little bit outside of Manhattan.

Since she's not too comfortable with being outside of her usual surroundings, she sits on the same side of the booth as Rod.

This time, he doesn't clown her for being a baby, and she thanks him for that.

"I'm not really hungry or anything, I'll just get a milkshake or some—"

"Roderick? Is that you?" A man a little bit darker than Rod comes up to our table.

She looks over at him and sees his jaw clench, but he says nothing.

"Yeah, that is you. You know who I am?"

"Yeah, I do. I ain't got time to talk, though." She put two and two together and realized who the man was.

"You gonna do ya old man like that?" 

"You know... I'm really not in the mood to be chastised by someone like you."

"Someone like me, huh?"

Rod stands from the booth and almost comes nose to nose with his own father. Stevie pulls on Rod's sleeve, but he moves his hand away.

"Yeah, someone like you. You ruined my fucking life. I've spent the last twenty years of my life pretending like you don't exist, and you got the nerve to show up and demand some goddamn respect from me?!" He barks.

"I'm still your father. You owe me respect—"

"I don't owe you shit!" He pushes his dad back, sending him stumbling into the table behind him.

“That's what the fuck I owe you!”

The few people inside the diner start to look in their direction. Stevie sighs, trying not to let her nerves get the best of her.

"Okay... I don't think y'all should be doing this here." She says, tugging on his sleeve again, making him look down at her this time.

“I dare you.”

"Aight."

He looks back at his dad and grunts. Pushing past him, he pushes the door open roughly. She gets up and follows behind him.

They're almost inside the car, when his dad comes up to him again, making her palm her forehead.

"Where do you think you're going? You still got your mama in your head, telling you that I'm a bad person?"

"Get in the car, Stevie."

She opens the door and sits inside, keeping it open, while he slams his own door shut.

"Are you kidding me? Am I supposed to give you a standing ovation for leaving me? I was two fucking years old when you left! I didn't know where you went. I don't even know you, but I know what I felt the day that my mom was cursing your sorry ass out on that phone. You're a coward, Sam. You're a terrible person. Fuck you!" 

He strikes him across the face, but Rod hits him right back. Stevie flinches and jumps out of the car.

"Stop!" She yells, pushing him away from Rod with all her strength.

If looks could kill, they'd both be dead.

She turns her back to him and places her hand over Rod's cheek.

"Get the fuck outta here!" Rod yells, sending his father stumbling away into the darkness.

He gently removes Stevie's hand from his face and opens the car door, sliding into the seat.

Instead of trying to find words, she just sauntered back over to the passenger side and closed her door.

He sits there for a while, before closing the door and starting the car.

The ride home was every bit awkward, and she couldn't wait for them to be back at the house.

Pulling up to it, he stops before her mailbox and keeps his stare straight ahead. She turns in her seat.

"Why'd you park right here?"

"I think I'm gonna go... it's been a long night, and I pretty much ruined what was left of it."

"What? No you didn't. That wasn't your fault."

He closes his eyes and drops his hand from the steering wheel, turning the car off.

"We can't have a normal day to save our lives, Stevie. It's always some shit!"

She shakes her head.

"That's not true— but, who cares? As long as we got each other, I don't give a damn about anything else, and you shouldn't either!"

He sighs. She pulls her seatbelt off and reaches up for his chin, turning him to face her. He's looking at her, but his eyes are throwing her off.

"None of that shit matters to me. We've all got problems. That's life. I'm not about to let this go, just because we can't have a peaceful time outside the four walls in my house or your house—"

"I'm not giving up. I'm just— I'm frustrated. You shouldn't have seen that shit. I don't want you to see me as some damaged person." His voice cracks.

"Listen to me. I don't see you as anything but an angel. I'm not expecting you to be perfect. You are who you are, and that's the best thing that's ever happened to me. We all have our troubles, Rod. But, don't let that be who you are. That only makes things worse. It makes it harder for the people that love you. You may think that I'm scared of you or whatever the case may be, but I'm glad that I see this side of you, so I can help you— even if you don't want my help, I'm still here." A couple of tears fall down his cheeks.

"I don't know all of what you've been through, but I can be here for you. If you wanna talk about it, we can. If you don't, we don't have to. I just want you to know that this," I gesture between us, "I'm not giving up on so easily. I love and care about you too fucking much. I need you to know that."

"I know, ma. I love you, too." He pulls her into him, stuffing his face into her neck and wrapping his arms around her, causing her to have to damn near sit in his lap to hug him, correctly.

His soft cries break her heart as she rubs his back and kisses his face, not knowing what else to do.

They sit like that for a good hour, before moving into the house.

Linking their fingers together, she leads them upstairs. He sniffles and saunters behind her, as she wipes a couple of her own tears away.

"We're gonna be okay?" He asks, sitting on her bed, as she steps out of her clothes and finds a big T-shirt to sleep in.

"We are, baby."

Doing the same, he lays down on her, sinking until his head is laying on her chest, arms enclosed around her

She pulls the covers over them and kisses his forehead.

@thegifstories @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @sheabuttahwrites @blowmymbackout @awerkofart @abeautifulmindexposed @twistedcharismaaa @blackerthings @blackpinup22 @nayaxwrites @cecereads209 @cocoa-puffs @mauvecherie-writes @supersizemeplz @soufcakmistress

#miyuhpapayuh #poc writers #blackwriters #soulff #90s romance #rod x stevie

[hmslusitania]

I’m just being maudlin about the passage of time

I turn 28 on Monday, which means I spent a solid chunk of my summer actively avoiding my ten year high school reunion, but

My graduating class was fucking cursed man. Like, we started freshman year with 330 people or something, and we had 200 walk. This at a school with normally an 89% graduation rate. We had 33% attrition.

Freshman year, one of the popular cheerleader girls got cancer and everyone rallied around her and freaked out because getting cancer when you’re 14 is fucking abominable right.

Sophomore year, another guy got a different type of cancer. He tried to keep it quiet because the girl in our freshman year had been so exuberant about making sure Everyone Knew, but as soon as people found out, the entire boys’ varsity soccer team showed up to school with shaved heads in solidarity.

Junior year, hey, no one got cancer! Because turns out I’d just been like half dead from an illness that wasn’t cancer, that, sure, was actively trying to kill me and had been for three years at that point, but it wasn’t cancer and just made me seem crazy so it didn’t count.

And I got medical attention (sort of) junior year and so I graduated high school only a quarter dead, and did three years of college only a quarter dead, and then had to drop out for a semester because I was too sick to function, but like! I got actual medical attention. And I’m fine now, health wise!

But I was disruptively sick for eight years. And I was technically present in high school and in college but I didn’t… experience any of it? I was sick enough I don’t actually remember large portions of it, and I just basically skipped all that social development you’re supposed to do between the ages of 13 and 21. And I was kinda making up for it, but then we’ve spent two years in this global pandemic and I’ve spent two years locked in a studio apartment with my cat, and over the course of the pandemic the last remaining friends I had here moved away.

And I’m moving, and going somewhere I know people, but I just… that’s ten years. That’s ten entire fucking years of just. Negligible growth in any meaningful way. Socially, at best, I’m like. Eighteen years old. But I’m almost thirty, I have a 9-5 and my own health insurance and a master’s degree, and… no useable social skills. Professional social skills, sure! I can small talk bullshit my way through a meeting. But I can’t, like, date. I’m not even equipped to tell if I’m actually demiromantic or aro because I don’t even know what a normal goddamn romantic emotion is supposed to feel like when you’re in your late twenties.

And like, yeah, sure I’ll catch up eventually, probably. Do things at your own pace or whatever, I know. But it isn’t my own fucking pace it’s the pace of “an impairment I had no control over hamstrung my social development when I was 13” and I want those ten years back, but not going forward, I want those ten years back woven into my life where they were supposed to be and I want to feel like I’m just one age instead of an emotionless adult dragging a confused teenager who doesn’t know what debt is yet but feels everything acutely along for the ride.

Anyway. Time. Illness. Curses. Fuck it. Whatever

#the ghost ship babbles to herself in the night #things to bring up when I actually find a therapist lol

[hagatha-christie]

Books in June, whatever

The bad:

Triple Duty Bodyguards by Lily Gold - I have to admire her “work smarter not harder” mentality because I have read two of her books now and every character is exactly the same from book to book with like 2 details changed about their physical appearance. I had essentially a 2 day long panic attack and my brain was on hyperdrive and this literally made me stop thinking any thoughts for the 5 hours it took to read this so like, do with that what you will.

Something Spectacular by Alexis Hall - the sequel to a pretty mediocre Alexis Hall book but in this one oh my GOD the romance didn’t work for me at all. We were constantly told how interesting and captivating the love interest was but I cannot tell you a single thing about them other than they’re an opera singer. V boring, only finished it because the friend group dynamic was fun

The fine: Killadelphia, Vol. 1-3 by Rodney Barnes - cool concept but it kind of felt like the author was like a 12 year old kid who didn’t know when to stop. “What if there’s vampires in Philadelphia right now and former president John Adams is one and so is his wife! And so is Thomas Jefferson! And Sally Hemings is too but she and Abigail Adams are in love! And then Tituba shows up and she’s a WEREWOLF.” These are all things that happened, I will not be continuing.

Radium Girls by Cy - another graphic novel bc I was on a kick this month? Anyway the art is cool but the translation from French to English is not great and kind of distracting!

She Drives Me Crazy by Kelly Quindlen - what if we pretend to date for Reasons and you’re the cheerleading captain and I’m a basketball player and we kiss and we’re both girls? V cute v fun

We Could Be So Good by Cat Sebastian - what if we’re best friends working at the same paper in the 1950s and I move into your apartment after my fiance leaves me for another man and then we kiss and fall in love and we’re both boys? V cute v sweet

The good/great:

Your Driver is Waiting by Priya Guns - viscerally sweaty and dirty and ANGRY but in a good way. Also made ME angry which I thought was a sign of good writing. Read for a little bit of catharsis if you’re upset that you’re fuckin broke and will always be fuckin broke bc nothing seems to get better and you kind of want to set something on fire, just a little bit, as a treat.

Pardon My Heart by Marcus Jackson - really honest poetry about Black masculinity that’s sweet and heartbreaking. Favorite poems were the title poem, and the three poems at the end that are about Jackson’s wife and how much he loves her.

The Woods, Vol. 1-9 by James Tynion IV - scratched the Stranger Things itch in my brain. Twisty and never went the way I thought it would. Loved these characters and their journeys!

Sweeney Astray, translated by Seamus Heaney - this weird-ass book from the 17th century was a WILD ride and I loved every second of it. Read it more for the historical info rather than its literary merit, if that makes sense? Sweeney gets cursed by a Christian king for being a dick and spends the entire book wandering the Irish countryside, eating watercress, and insisting that no one wants him around even when several of his family members say “WE WANT YOU AROUND”

Bitter Root, Vol. 1-3 by David F. Walker - read if you liked Ring Shout because the premise is so similar! The art style was great and I liked how expansive the world was. Great characters and a great storyline.

Electric Arches by Eve L. Ewing - fuck Eve Ewing for being so GODDAMN talented, it makes me sick, please read this.

Currently reading: The Devil’s Element by Dan Egan, which gave me like 4 more solid examples of the British Empire being fucking monsters (and American companies causing so much environmental harm and then saying it’s too expensive to fix)

#reading

[coffee-in-veins]

Day 27: Spider’s Web

an entry for darkest prompts promptober 2022  

previous days: 1, 2, 3,  4, 5, 6,  7,  8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26

now available on ao3 too

Web NOUN - a network of fine threads constructed by a spider from fluid secreted by its spinnerets, used to catch its prey; a complex system of interconnected elements.

* * *

You should see me in a crown I'm gonna run this nothing town Watch me make 'em bow One by one by one One by one by You should see me in a crown Your silence is my favourite sound Watch me make 'em bow One by one by one One by one by one

-- You Should See Me in a Crown by Billie Eilish

It was often said that it was better to be a beggar than a fool and that sarcasm was the lowest form of wit. That it was better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. And many other derogatory jabs directed at the unfortunate implications of the once-noble profession of a jester.

Sarmenti always agreed to those ramblings, lute in hands and trusty wine bottle at his side, and even added a few insulting proverbs himself, jingles and jangles of his patchwork hat nodding in an agreeing cacophony. For he knew that no man can play the fool so well as a wise man – a knowledge he could thank Dismas for, albeit, old rogue usually implied it in the physical sense, surprising his opponents by being far toothier than a short rat had any right to be. It was always easier to take one’s enemy by surprise if they vastly underestimated one’s prowess, after all.

The patchwork nuisance of the Performance Hall took that idea and brought it to a whole new level.

There was this simple game Sarmenti loved to spend time playing, the one which drove others insane – the cat cradle. A spin of yarn meticulously weaved around his elongated fingers, with no goddamn cat and definitely without any cradle, but with enough going on to keep his antsy hands occupied. This elaborate but effortlessly useless game gave Sarmenti’s restless mind enough time to think, to plan, to scheme. And those calmer moments gave birth to the most ambitious plans in Hamlet.

Baldwin often offered his huge warm palms as a support for this odd activity even if he couldn’t quite catch the rules or the meaning despite seeing the patterns play out thousands of times. Yet he knew to keep his advisors close and his trusty court jester even closer, and thus saw no reason to ask. If anything, the former king preferred to give reign to his allegedly insane beloved and see how the jigsaw puzzle would fall into its place this time, the damned aesthete.

So Sarmenti took it upon himself to make each scheme, each play more elaborate than the last. He had the most devoted audience, the limelight was rightfully his, and he intended to make the most of it, as always. Diva to his very core, insufferable just as much as he was skilled, the jester abhorred sharing the attention – yet always went the extra mile if he knew the applause was awaiting him at the end of his performance.

Thus, in the dimness of their shared leprosarium room, he sat in front of the only king whose reign he accepted, yarn weaved across their fingers in loops and knots and strands, crimson as the curse in his veins.

“…those who were caught by the health checkup will have their mutations protruded, so those who still lay low have less attention and if someone notices, well, who knows what shades of the Estate and a bottle of ale can do to a mind, ha!”

After all, to balance an act of a bloodthirsty monster was no harder than juggling knives while singing. Executions were finally forbidden. Those caught ones were going to lose everything anyway. They might as well keep the charade going so the bumbling buffoons in the town wouldn’t start panicking.

“…the vintners are operating at full capacity, so far, we can balance over the verge of wasting. But, my lion, you should know that my performance allowed us to bribe a few plague doctors and sanatorium wards to look past some missing bottles for unchecked infected. Coin indeed grease palms as well as the cogs of medical progress, don’t they? Hahahah! The birdie swore she would rip my wings off if she caught me enticing her personnel again. And they say she had no sense of humour, feh. Still. We should be set for now.”

Ah, to be young and naïve and full of hope again! Now, the jester was mostly filled with wine, bile and pains from chronic lead poisoning. Happens to the best of us, he mused out loud as he transferred the string to Baldwin’s fingers. So many strings and so little time.

“…we have intel about the knight of the shining rump. Apparently, he plans to harshen the quarantine measures. We can counter it by expanding on the Red Night’s concept, I am already penning drafts for the Heiress, haha, the uptight git would never know what hit him! How does Carmine Noon sound to your religious ears? Oh, oh, or maybe the Vermilion Sermon? Heretic enough? Don’t be shy, my lion, I want him to have a heart attack once he hears the news!”

They say only spiders weave webs and only spiders feel safe in them.

Sarmenti was no spider, not by a long shot, but the web of the cursed town was spun nicely between his long pale claw-tipped fingers, kept nice and silky by his mad reverberating cackling, with D major reigning supreme over Hamlet.

He was the wasp that ate the spider and made its web his own, all while the owner of this mad realm overlooked his puny patchwork presence.

And frankly, he loved his cozy cradle.

#dd promptober 2022 #i'm still alive #don't worry i'm just as surprised #a new challenger approaches #sarmenti #dd jester #an outside ? look on the same situation Rey and Dis are in #darkest dungeon #The bloodied journal page || my writing #The tapestries of words || my ao3 #fanfic

[cialyven]

Hello Snacks!

Found an old story I wrote and inspired this piece.

Frustration turns into desperation at times and sometimes we have to find solution, although that's quite difficult when hungry.

Solution!

(There is fatel vore and also digestion mention) also thank you @celestialmango for helping!

Hunger, all he has ever felt was hunger, not that it was a bad thing just meant he needed food right, yeah that was it.

But his problem was he was hungry too many times!! Never a moment to enjoy himself, never feeling full long enough! It was enough to drive anyone crazy! everything was always too small, not enough, and digested too quickly!

He needed something! to make it slow down! Or find something for his predicament!

Magic, Science, savagery , at this point he is willing to eat a mountain to see if that would make him full enough! the couple of boulders he ate didn't work so maybe that god damn would! he can't think clearly while hungry! just one moment with a full stomach is that so hard to ask! more than the fleeting moments than his quick digestion takes from him!

That and it's getting lonely, staying away from his loved one, his family afraid he will do something he would regret. no it was better to wander, try to find an answer for his condition. it wasn't that he was eating his feeling like some would think

oh no this was his body being a bitch! he was half tempted to smack it around but that would just slow him down.

adjusting his cloak of sorts he continued to walk on, the meal he ate where their cries could be heard. The wails as his acids did their job as the filth that now is a ghost town empty and raided by him. He says the town is more of a black market trading post. He had caught word of something that would given even the most desperate satisfaction in their lives. He would go about and pay for the damn thing he was good at negotiations despite what some might think. And normally any sane man would agree "keep your life, for giving me good and fair price" he knew the value of most things in life, having been living this long of a life, thou trying to make a fool out of him, you can feed his cause.

literally.

Now the goddamn plight in his hand mocked him, A stone heart.

The stone heart.

If he knew it was this he had come all this way for he would have just eaten that goddamn mountain he had to climb over. It's said to be curse, bringing forth a side of yourself you didn't want to face. To curse the owner into suffering thee unbearable.

he snorted,right like feeling like your body trying consume itself from the inside out, to having banish yourself from a family that you miss every god damn day so as not to consume them instead! he didn't care what this fucking cruse was. didn't care that the stone in his massive hand felt like a bird's heart fluttering in his hands. that it constantly bled out crystals waters that was the consistency of blood, even pooling and drooling over his hand as such. So much blood tainted his hand he knew that feeling all too well. it wasn't even fucking damanged and it did this!

A Roar of anger littered the lands and booming like thunder in the cloudless skies, clear blue skies, bright and beautiful.

The very contrast of his rage, again and again! Dead end after Dead end! Another season without his Kin, another season without a comfortable nest or bed! he wasn't an animal but living like this for too long felt like it was creeping closer and closer to that possibility!

easy as it would have been even with the heart he wanted to crush it, the stupid little trinket. but his stomach groaned and his meal started to diminish already, pressing a hand to his gullet he felt some hard bulges but just barely..

Fine, this stupid thing can serve some purpose.

it didn't feel like anything at all, too small to even feel! This time he did throw something uprooting a tree. He slammed it to the ground like an angry toddler, no one was around to witness his meltdown so what would he care. and his vision started to blur as his eyes stung, confusing him that much more in the moment that he continued to beat the ground until the tree shattered only to repeat the process till he was out of surrounding trees.

it wasn't until the sun strucks his eyes at high noon that he fully realized it had already been noon once before....

pressing on his midsection he felt it all soften yet had some give, actually it had substantial amount

but it was noon.. again he knew how to tell time with ease soo..

Why does his stomach not return to normal proportions?

The hunger was still there yet his abdomen, it should be flat. The bulge was nothing to write home about, that damn mountain still was tempting him but there was this faint itch in his mind like something was trying to tell him something.

nope! He's too hungry to even try and guess.

It was late evening when he saw a couple of bears and had a decent meal but what struck him as odd was the fact when he realized the two bears would not fill him like this it was like he ate three instead of just the two..

it filled his mind as he went to relieve himself which he also realized was happening a lot during the past few hours and he hadn't even stopped to a nearby river for a drink. it wasn't until he had fully relieved himself of his past meals that it happened.

Now at an actual river there in its integrity was the damn thing.. nothing had survived his stomach! His acids and crushing muscles are merciless!!

Or Were!! but there the damn thing lay! clean as could fucking be!! No damage! no corrosion, no cracks! no nothing!!

...

wait did he just hear something..

...

there it was again a mere whisper just like before..no..

Squatting down tilting his head staring at the stone heart that was still leaking...

....

god damn it, god damn his life!!

"help"

His eyes stared wide at two revelations, one this heart was only in him for a short amount of time and filled him like a bear would, what would happen to him if it stayed longer..maybe stuffing himself even more than that village and eating this..wait no off track..

"please......help"

A Malicious grin took hold, those whispers belong to someone, he could feel it. He ignored the beating of the heart before and now realizing it can not be destroyed he was holding not an item to curse but a curse in of itself...he was holding someone's actual heart. And there is a great possibility if their heart can not be digested neither could they.

licking his fangs he wondered what his solution tasted like.

#my writing #noms #😛 #fatal vore

[endhisbloodlineinmyesophagus]

Its one of those nights🤧

#curse this old man for being so goddamn fine #my body is reaaadddyyyy #arcane #silco #arcane silco #silco arcane #silco league of legends #zaddy #silco x reader

[letstalkaboutfandomsbaby]

I know your nanami x chubby reader headcanons are kind of old but they are literally my favourites, and I'm sorry if I'm pissing you off with this

I remember Nanami wanted us to sit on her face but we were insecure because of the weight

NOW IMAGINE NANAMI GIVING "" SUBTLE "" SIGNS THAT HE CAN HOLD US ON

Just picking you up randomly or doing push-ups with you on your back, carrying ALL the groceries at once (boy would lift a car☠) and there would come a time when we would just say "ok I get it I'll sit on your face 🙄"

Also, english is not my first language so I'm sorry if you can't understand something

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YESYESYES NANAMI X CHUBBY READER FOR THE WINNNNN

YOU COULD NEVER PISS ME OFF BY ASKING FOR MORE CHUBBY READER CONTENT, I LOVE THAT SHIT SO MUCH!!!!!

Also don't worry bby, your English is wonderful, I understood everything just fine. You're doing a great job 🥰

CW: chubby fem reader, smut, oral (female receiving), slight insecurities but not much

OKOK SO SKSKSK

We all know Nanami is strong

Mans is like a goddamn beast when he fights curses

He definitely has to workout and train to keep up his physique so he can keep people safe yk??

Basically he's super strong, and you know this

But let's be honest: even the most confident of people can get a little nervous at times

You love your body, really you do!! You wouldn't change yourself for anybody bc you're perfect the way you are!

But the thought of putting your full weight on someone's face is terrifying sksksk

Like you don't care how strong the person is, your pussy is just so extravagant that you're worried your poor boyfriend will suffocate and that's the LAST thing you want

So every time he hints at it or flat-out asks you to sit on his face, you sway the conversation to something else or convince him to just eat you out while you lay down in bed

He's asked you why you won't do it before, and you've always explained that you're worried that you'll hurt him on accident and you're just not comfortable with it

He loves you and just wants to make you happy, so he backs off a bit

BUTTTTTTTTTT that doesn't mean he won't try to sway your thinking

Oh, you think you're too heavy? Don't worry darling, he's one of the strongest jujutsu sorcerers in the world, there's very little that he can't handle

And he shows off this strength whenever he can

Like you said, he'll have you help him with his workouts and insist on carrying the twenty or so bags

BUT IT WOULDN'T STOP THERE NUH-UH NO MA'AM

He begins a habit of picking you up and moving you when you're in the way

Like if he needs something from a cabinet and you're standing in front of it, he won't ask you to move anymore, he'll just pick you up and move you to the side or sit you down on the counter so he can get to the cabinet

It was kinda cute and funny at first but it's been like two weeks and it's super annoying at this point

You know why he's doing this, but you don't want to give in

He's so goddamn stubborn and childish when it comes to these issues, always being so petty and trying to prove his point through his actions when his words don't work

The straw that breaks the camel's back is when you ask him to get you something from a tall shelf and, instead of just grabbing said item like a normal human being, he picks you up and basically holds you up on one shoulder

Alright, that's it, this is getting ridiculous at this point

"Fine. I'll sit on your face 🙄😒"

When I tell you this man is so fucking ecstatic—

No he literally picks you up and carries you off to the bedroom like he can't wait he needs you NOW

And when you get undressed? And crawl over him? And finally sit that pretty pussy on his face? It's heaven, sheer heaven, literally nothing can compare

He's gonna make you cum at least 3 times before he even THINKS about fucking you

Be prepared to sit on his face at least once a week bc he INSISTS on you doing that sksksk

At the end of the day, he's very happy that he got his way :)

#ask #nanami kento #smut #fem reader #chubby reader #chubby fem reader #nanami kento x reader #yayyyyyyy smut sksksksk #☀️ fics #☀️ asks