#cusps aren't real

[saygoodnight2theworld]

Daaaaaamn 🤣🤣🤣

#horoscopes #hilarious #mean AF #made me laugh #fuck you #cusps aren't real #lmao 🤣🤣🤣 #zodiac #Aries #Leo #Aquarius #taurus #pisces #capricorn #Sagittarius #cancer #Gemini #Libra #Virgo #scorpio

[comicaurora]

In your asks and other outside-of-comic statements, you seem to draw on parallels to programming a lot when talking about lacrimas.

And this makes me think as a programmer: the primordial rules that are used in Auroras to do magic and lacrimas are part of the primordial language. You are literally telling the primordial's dead bodies what to do, and they obey.

Yet, the difference that comes to my mind is that Primordial was at one point a language actually spoken. Used to communicate in day-to-day life by normal sentient beings. That's quite different from programming languages, which aren't meant to be talked in at all, and are built from the ground up purely to convey a series of precise instructions. They're very formalised and structured. There are no synonyms, no double meanings, no altering of word order, no redundant information etc. It's extremely rigid, much unlike languages people actually talk in, for which a degree of fluidity and ambiguity is essential.

And in Aurora it would seem the latter is being used as the former.

Have you ever thought about this tension/contradiction/conflict? How it affects the world, how it affects your writing, etc?

Or has this distinction never crossed your mind?

Or was this something you have noticed, but never really had the right knowledge to engage with much?

Or any other thoughts on the subject, really

So! This is an interesting thing I have actually thought about.

When the Elder Races were first created, they were born knowing and speaking a language innovatively called the First Language. Every new Young Race is also initially created speaking this language. The language then drifts over the generations, developing into regional dialects and then into separate linguistic descendants if given enough time.

The Ancients spoke a close descendent of the First Language for most of their time in existence, and made a writing system of their own very early on, which has no innate power. But in the early days of the world, the generally accepted story is that a god granted the three elder races knowledge of the written Runic language, which could command the elements. The Ancients acquired it late and used it very sparingly, only for the programming of lacrimas, but for the Elves and Humans living in the depths of the Caves, this was their first and primary writing system. It's even possible that a rare cave-dweller brave enough to venture to the surface was the one who taught the Ancients these runes in the first place.

It's posed an obvious question, of course. Why does this one specific form of writing manifest as a language of magic? Why can it command the dead Primordials? Why is it so well-suited to the phonemes of the First Language that every child of this world is created speaking?

The predominant theory - and, with two living primordials to check with, one which is potentially on the cusp of being proven - is that the First Language and its runic writing system are the language that the Primordials spoke. Its words, written or spoken, can be understood by the remnants of thought that still linger in the sleeping, dead-but-not-entirely-gone primordials that make up the world.

Primordial magic is different from programming in one key way: real computers are entirely unthinking entities. They are not in any way smart - not even smart enough to be stupid. A computer parsing a program cannot observe a missing parentheses and compensate like a human could do in their sleep - it simply fails to parse, because the mathematics don't work out.

Magic in this world is like what every programmer wishes programming could be. Tell the computer what to do, and it might be a little confused, but it'll get the gist. Tell Fire to burn in this direction - Fire, even if it's just running on an echo of a seven-thousand-year-old memory, knows what that means. Tell the wind to printf this statement to this recipient, it'll try to find them and send the message. Tell Life to make this body do what it's doing faster, it can do that. It's simple executions of simple commands, almost reflexive - things that require no complex higher thought from a being that is no longer alive enough to have them. They're not as unthinking as computers, and that means the nuances of language can actually have an effect on them. Some mages think more poetic and emotionally-charged spell invocations can lead to better, more efficient results - an appeal to a long-dead emotion might be easier for the Primordial to execute than an appeal to a half-forgotten complex thought.

When a mage takes direct control of a magical energy and funnels it into an elemental effect, their own higher thought allows the element to do more complicated things - Fire can't transmute on its own like it could when it was alive, but it can when bent to a mortal will. No need to translate a spell into the language of magic when the mage can simply use their own mind to shape the effect. This is the primary advantage mages have over lacrima-users - flexibility, complexity, and speed.

Another interesting factor. Alinua's dynamic with Life demonstrates what a living Primordial's living thought can do when in the hands of a mortal. A normal, simple healing spell cast by anybody but her just accelerates a body's own healing, but with Alinua's guidance steadying Life's hand, they can do much more complicated things of her own free will - things Life knows how to do that no mage knows how to command her to do.

#asks #aurora

[kaidatheghostdragon]

Halfas and Fear Gas

Ive seen a lot of "fear gas makes danny high." Its hilarious and i love it. Other variations i recall seeing are: fear is not as potent, complete immunity, 'food supplement' fear gas, and the boring 'effects him like normal.'

BUT.

I haven't really seen anyone treat effect effect on the brain and core as separate processes. In other words, humans get affected one way, ghosts get affected another way, and halfas get blasted by both.

We already know how normal humans are affected, so we dont really need to go over that. Ghosts, however, are free reign. (Unless there's a canon incident where a ghost like boston brand or gentleman ghost are exposed to a fear gas attack? Any DC canon nerds out there that know of something like that?)

The options I've seen or thought up so far:

Complete immunity - ectoplasm just doesn't react to physical matter in a way that impacts the ghost. Fear gas, as in the chemical itself, has no effect whatsoever.

Effects ghosts like humans. Straight forward, it's a bit weird if you think about it, but eh.

Fear gas, as in the chemical itself, is like ghost weed, or perhaps something stronger. Might be hallucinogenic, but in a bad trip sort of way rather than a worst fear sort of way

Fear gas, as in the chemical itself, is accidentally a super effective health suppliment for ghosts

If emotions are food to ghosts, fear gassed humans can span the range between 'delectable snack sprinkled with extra sugar' to 'weird chemical food that isnt healthy but will still sustain you' to 'supercharged health snack completely saturated by nutrients'

Fear gas, either the chemical itself or the people affected by it, has a distinct smell. It could be good, bad, or neutral, possibly related to how it affects the ghost. (Or deceptive, for humor and/or angst.)

Fear gas is outright toxic to ghosts. Perhaps the chemical itself is similar to, but just left of, ectoplasm. Like many artificial chemicals that can substitute various nutrients / usurp metabolic pathways in humans, it could have any number of mild to debilitating, short to long term effects on ghosts.

(If anyone has another idea, feel free to add)

Now we get to halfas, who have both a human brain and a ghost core. Dany has a human body and brain that are affected normally by the fear gas: hallucinations, panic attack, adrenaline response, etc etc. Someone better at biology can describe the actual biochemical processes going on.

But the ghost core? Added on top of All That? Can be excessively angsty, somewhat mitigating, or outright hilarious.

Going through the list of options:

Complete immunity.

This sounds boring, but its actually my favorite. Why? Because danny is getting conflicting signals. His brain is compromised and in full panic, but his core is telling him that he's completely safe. As a hybrid, Danny could be capable of having critical thought with both organs. If he's clever enough to recognize the seperation between the two, he can exploit it as a sort of anchor (I'm imagining it somewhat like how a multitasker can do different things with different senses, like listening to an audio book while solving a jigsaw puzzle - the book is auditory, the puzzle is visual and tactile, neither interfere with the other.)

Danny, in this scenario, is definitely in an altered state of consciousness, seeing things that aren't there and right on the cusp of panicking or defending himself. But if he can recognize that his core is unaffected, he can focus on the sensory input that his core is processing, and the whole situation might be somewhat equivalent to becoming lucid in the middle of a nightmare - its terrifying, but just the recognition that it isn't real takes the edge off. To him, it's now like being stuck in a VR horror game and being unable to take the headset off, flinching at all the jumpscares but recognizing that his body isn't actually being attacked or injured.

Affects ghost like humans

Danny could either be affected exactly the same as anyone else or effectively double-dosed as both brain and core fight entirely different hallucinations. Maybe if danny is lucky, he'll just black out from the sensory overload.

Ghost weed

This could make what was initially designed to be a really bad trip into something catastrophic... or mellow it out. Idk. I've never done recreational drugs. Both the brain and core are cut off from reality. The brain is terrified, and the core is tripping out. If his core naturally reacts to his emotional state, it's gonna amplify the effects, which is Really Bad. If the core is compromised to a point where it can't really process anything, then Danny is still trapped in a nightmare state, just more loopy and otherwise no worse than any human.

Health supplement and/or literal food

This one is confusing. Brain is terrified, core is satiated? Energized? A boost to his powers is gonna make him much more difficult to contain and treat. When he comes out of it, there's real potential for angst from danny worrying that the conflicting emotions of absolute terror and hunger satiation are a sign that he's turning evil. Especially if his core was instinctually feeding off of the fear of nearby civilians who were also gassed during the trip. That undercurrent of predatory satisfaction is gonna leave him awake at night for a few weeks.

On the plus side, feeding his ghost core might help it clear out the toxin faster, so the trip is much shorter. Maybe he even pulls out of it before he accidentally causes any damage with his powers.

Smelly

Pretty straightforward. If it smells bad, Danny is automatically gonna hold his breath, limiting his exposure. If it smells good, he might take a good few wiffs before realizing what's up and holding his breath, or just keeps dosing himself more and more as that effects, good or bad to the core and definitely bad to the brain, settle in.

Toxic

Has the potential to be much more long-term and insidious. You can run the full gamut here. Does he need to be restrained and taken to the far frozen for days or even weeks of treatment? Does the ectoplasm incorporate the drug, and Danny has to suffer weeks or months of microdosing until it's used up, turning him into a paranoid schizophrenic during that time? Is it blood blossoms 2.0? Does it have no mental effects but screws with his powers? Does it influence his emotional self-control? Does he grow the ghost equivalent of a tumor that encapsulates the toxin and has to be surgically removed? Does he need supplemental ecto to remain healthy, temporarily, or permanently? Does it affect his ectosignature or peak power level? Injure his core? Lower his healing factor?

All of this is on top of the initial fear gas trip, which he may have never even fully pulled out of. The angst possibilities are endless.

Then, there are liminals who have the potential to be affected like halfas or in an entirely different way. Does your headcanon give them proto-cores or baby ghost cores, or are they just severely ectoconaminated? How would that change their symptoms?

Anyways, just some ideas for people to use. My favorite idea so far, that I'd love to see someone use, is that Danny has learned to use his separate brain and core as insurance against mind control and mind-altering drugs. The freakshow incident was a sort of catalyst that helped him recognize the differences between his brain and core, and he taught himself how to lean into one or the other for various advantages in different situations. (Sort of like how a person can lean on either logic or intuition to make different types of choices.)

There's a lot of interesting potential here. Essentially, Danny could teach himself to be immune to mind-control and greatly resistant to drugs, as he can evaluate his surroundings with both organs and identify differences. Mind control wouldn't work unless it targeted BOTH brain and core, as he could shift to the uncontrolled one to break away. Any drug designed to knock out or roofie a human is countered by the fact that danny's core still remains conscious of his surroundings, and creative use of ghost powers counters the accompanying paralysis.

If ghosts dont sleep, one could argue that Danny's core is in a meditative state when his brain rests, which is why his ghost sense can wake him up from a dead sleep - he's never fully unconscious. Workoholic danny could find a way to get homework or paperwork done, or solve a problem, or design a piece of tech, or even play a videogame, while 'sleeping,' even using ectokinesis to move stuff while his body is sleep-paralyzed. Sleep-deprived danny is still functional because his core isn't affected by his brain's lapses in consciousness from micro-naps. (He is a lot moodier, though. His core is more emotion-focused while his brain is more logic-focused, on top of the normal mood-swings from sleep deprivation.)

This version of danny, after being fear-gassed, immediately recognizes that his brain and core are suddenly experiencing two different realities. He would be able to talk himself down from a panic attack and slowly find his way to safety. He probably wouldn't trust himself to hold back if he got in a scuffle, but he would be coherent enough to vaguely understand his surroundings to avoid danger.

And lastly, something I dont recall seeing in any fics - if the bats encountered fear-gassed Danny, and he's aware enough to refuse an antidote, I dont think the bats would push it. Yeah, forcing more medical trauma on our favorite blorbo is all good and fun, but he clearly has an altered metabolism that was affected differently by the fear gas than normal, so there's a heightened risk that the antidote would also have an altered affect, for the reward of removing the effects of fear-toxin (which is no longer guaranteed), which danny is already showing he's capable of working through.

On top of that, medical professionals are not allowed to force treatment if the patient refuses them and can walk it off. (If they are unconscious or can't get up on their own, they can intervene.) Medical conditions and allergies are a thing too, and its the priority of the patient to inform the medical worker as soon as possible to prevent complications. Jazz may have coached Danny about "in a medical emergency, declare closet-meta status with highly modified metabolism and unknown reactions to most drugs."

I see the conversation going something like:

"If you can hear me, im going to administer an antidote."

"Dont. Give it to someone who actually needs it."

And then the bat treats everyone else before approaching danny again to ask how they can help. They would be trained to take all of this into account:

Human male, visibly uninjured (unless the fic writer has different ideas) experiencing non-standard reaction to fear toxin. Probable indication of meta or enhanced status.

Victim is cognizent, replied to verbal communication, denied treatment. Appears to be managing the effects of the fear toxin. Not currently a danger to themselves or others.

Nonstandard reaction to fear-toxin implies potential non-standard reaction to antidote. Victim may be aware of medical condition that could complicate treatment, and is reasonably stable at the moment. Further questioning needed.

There are other victims in the area that are less cognizent, they become higher priority. Approach victim again when all other victims are cleared out, (in case of uncontrolled meta powers, to avoid further casualties), ask more questions and ascertain situation.

Once questioned further, danny drops the memorized line about altered metabolism and unknown effects, and giving Danny the antidote basically immediately becomes a non-viable option. They will probably argue Danny into being taken to Leslie's clinic, as he'll refuse a hospital (probably quite hysterically, given the fear toxin), which i'd imagine is the bat's normal protocol for closet-metas.

At least, that's how I imagine the situation panning out. Danny noping out before the bats return to him or during mid-interrogation is also extremely likely, which is gonna put the bats in panic mode for the next several hours. (Going to *any* secondary location with the bats is a non-option to Danny, for many potential reasons.) Danny is definitely going on a watch list (as in, possible meta with unknown powers, keep an eye out in case he gets caught up in another rogue scheme, need more information).

#dp x dc #dpxdc #fear gas #fear toxin

[deepmochi]

🚨Venus retrograde alert🚨

VENUS IN LEO RX

A list of things about Venus rx.

🩷 Barbie and Oppenheimer in theater, pink and explosions= Venus un rx. Seriously, if you look closely, both movies present a contradictory issue of love and evolution. Are you being honest with the way you love and receive love? Love can create destruction to the self and others. Uncontrolled passion is erratic. For instance, Oppenheirmer represents too much passion for science, leading to be a nightmare, and Barbie depicts a lack of passion in a repeated reality, leading her to leave her safe place. Changes, pain, discovery and new possibilities. They present expansion. Both movies talk about extremes in a stagnant relationship between love and evolution.

🩷 Don't change you apperance, especially if you have a Leo prominent placement: sun, moon, venus, or rising.

🩷 Breaking up with your bf is fine; it was a needed.

🩷 Don't start a new relationship; it will not last.

🩷 People will show you their true intentions with you. Open your eyes and ears.

🩷 It's time to look at your blessings and be grateful. Even though the ceiling is falling, the floor is intact.

🩷 If you have problems with your bf, please try to communicate calmly in a private place.

🩷 During this period, you will discover your intentions towards others too.

🩷 You must heal first, so you must love yourself.

🩷 Many celebrities couples breakups are coming; Leo loves the attention remember. Famous people (spotlight) = VENUS RX IN LEO (breakup /scandals).

🩷 Don't post on social media about your business (love related).

🩷 Check your leo placement in your cusp houses.

🩷 Venus in Libra and Taurus will feel it too.

🩷 Don't overspend in things you don't need.

🩷 People with Leo placements may find you annoying and vice-versa. Be patience 🙏.

🩷 Careful with lovemaking, use protection.

🩷 if someone is meeting you, lovebombing is a RED FLAG!

🩷 Intrusive thoughts are coming. Leo moon, bb. Your thoughts aren't you!

🩷 Marriages and engagements not for now.

🩷 Exes may comeback to those Leos.

🩷 You will notice your flaws more often. Be patience with your body.

🩷 Maybe, you don't want to do nothing or do a lot. Either way, try to find a balance.

🩷 Real friends will be kind and present. Now, if you are coming back with your horrible ex, and your friend is telling you the truth. Girl, you are the trouble, not your friend.

🩷 Some issues within groups could happen. Public issues will arise.

Venus rx last 40 days, so Venus goes direct on September 3, 2023.

All the right credits to @deepmochi

#venus retrograde #venus #venus in leo #astrology #astrologynotes #zodiac #astrology community #2023 #astro notes #7th house

[doe-prince]

I love Golden Shrike! I've had my own comic idea for about a decade now, but I'm wondering, for you, how long did it take you to be confident enough with your art to start your comics? had you attempted panels and backgrounds earlier and didn't put them out because you weren't happy with them yet? I'm almost done with my characters and writing but I'm worried I'm not good enough to actually start doing panels

(these are just my views and experiences! there's as many approaches as there's artists)

I was BAD when I started comics, but then I again I was a kid who didn't care if my bunny-cat-digimon comics weren't good enough, it was just fun to do. Which is what it should still be, fun and a fulfillment to you. I think the happiest an artisit can be is when they can draw like they have no audience.

My comics stopped in my teenhood when I actually wanted to make something good. I made so much groundwork but VERY rarely got to the actual page production because I thought everything should be perfect, but we all know there's no such thing. When I noticed all my attempts were doomed, I stopped making them for like ten years until I was zapped with Fuck It We Ball-mentality. And it's the best thing that has happened to me. Childhood whimsy. Make your own toys.

Did I make test pages for Golden Shrike before starting production? Well, the first page of the comic is a test page. And the second page. And the whole first chapter. I just never stopped. Not smart but it's what works for me. Starting these 'test pages' has kickstarted two bigger comics for me, Golden Shrike and Jet and Harley.

Sure I made couple of style tests for GS even though I had a clear visual vision from the start, but Jet and Harley I just started to draw without any real practice pieces, just based on couple of CSP brushes I wanted to use. This isn't very smart as you'll likely find out later that MAN, this style takes too much effort, but if you're unlike me and don't care so much for consistency, you can always simplify it on the fly. And even I've had to change it: I stopped shading after chapter 5, briefly used 3D assets in upcoming pages, now I'm gonna shrink the font a little. They're teeny tiny things for readers, but huge for me.

There's many comic authors who like to plan every little detail before getting to work, but it doesn't work for me so I can't say much about it. I have a skeleton to follow, but I fully flesh out each chapter one by one when I reach them with pages, because I like to revisit my old visions with fresh brains. When you actually get to work, you might realize some scenes aren't needed, or they'd be better changed. Don't be scared to crack some ribs off your story skeleton. Being too loyal to your old vision can often hinder you.

Starting production is the biggest monster in comic making, but after the first step you'll mow over it leaving it in your dust and create a baby you can be so proud of. I wish you, and everyone else on the cusp of their projects GOOD LUCK, HAVE FUN, LOVE YOUR WORK.

#ask #friendwings

[franklespine]

Something interesting about the rare occasions that Sam and Dean actually talk about their childhood or their parents that I've noticed is how it reveals really how little Sam knows about his own family. Like in s1 when they have to return to their childhood home after Sam has a vision he asks Dean how much he remembers of the night their mother died. Dean tells him he carried him out the house and Sam is shocked at this development; clearly this was a day that they haven't talked about at all. Despite that night being the foundation of what drove John and Dean to even start their relentless hunt in the first place, it was always this unsaid thing that Sam never understood to the same level as they did.

Later in the episode Dark Side of the Moon in s5 Sam is put in the position of a passive observer to Dean's memory of a moment with their mother. Even in this good memory Mary has an argument with John over the phone and Sam is suddenly struck with the realisation that their life pre-Mary's death wasn't this ideal picket-fence family dynamic he thought it was. John and Mary's relationship was strained and even before the age of four Dean was 'cleaning up' their father's 'messes' (as Sam calls it). To me its such an interesting concept because no wonder Sam felt like the odd one out in the family (and this is not considering the whole demon blood freak thing). He was constantly in the position of hovering on the cusp of understanding this unsaid past, which is the key to understanding Dean and John themselves. No wonder he wasn't inclined to be a hunter; to him Mary was was an absence of a mother, and yet to John and Dean it was at the very core driving them to relentlessly peruse this lifestyle.

And its frustrating because neither John or Dean seem to ever want to acknowledge of even try to understand this position Sam's in. Dean continues to berate him for 'abandoning his family', when really Sam was being suffocated under a lifestyle that had been forced upon him, forever unable to fully understand the all consuming grief that came from Mary's death like John and Dean did. To me this idea seems to culminate in Dark Side of the Moon, which is also an episode where Dean frustrated me the most. Because of course I understand why Sam's memories of running away from home and going to Stanford being considered as good memories would hurt Dean - family is everything to him. But it really shows how Dean just refuses to even try to understand Sam's perspective in this. These aren't good memories to Sam because he abandoned his family, they're good memories because they are the pockets of moments in his life where he has ever felt any agency over himself. Sam tries to explain himself to Dean but no it's about as good as justifying your actions to a wall and this is something that Dean has held over his head since the pilot. And then he's apparently so angry that he throws away the amulet Sam gave him?? My god, like I wasn't already screaming at my screen.

These complexities to their relationship really wouldn't bother me so much if every time these interpersonal issues were brought up they weren't resolved with Sam having to acknowledge that he was the one in the wrong. Like I get Flagstaff obviously dregs up some real bad memories for Dean of their father but come on, Stanford?? Surely after this many episodes we can understand that Sam was just perusing something he wanted to do for once. What's worse is that all Sam really wanted out of it from his family was for Dean and their father to be proud of him. He compares their situation to 'normal families' saying that most families would be overjoyed that their son got a full ride to Stanford. And that's really at the crux of all he ever wanted from them... Anyway sorry this is deeply unstructured I just have some Thoughts occasionally whilst watching Supernatural for the first time in 2023. Currently on the first chunk of s7 and jesus the whole shit with Amy is the other Dean thing that has made me yell at him in frustration but I won't open that can of worms. I swear I do love Dean and his messed up complexities... I just like Sam more and find him to be a more sympathetic character (which I am beginning to think is an unpopular perspective but what do I know; I've been watching this show for like a month).

#supernatural #spn #sam winchester #dean winchester #john winchester

[mommamercury]

basic astro observations and opinions

we can all agree that cusps aren't necessarily real, but i've noticed that people who are born about a day or two before the sun moves into the next sign, possess similar qualities to the previous sign.

the first house has a lot more to do with the bodily health of an individual rather than the sixth house. after all, the first house sets the tone for one's natal chart and is literally you (physical body) while the sixth house represents daily routines and services. (maintenance, diet, care of the body).

water & air mars natives can be a lot more aggressive and/or snappy than fire & earth mars natives.

water signs aren't as emotional as y'all make them out to be.

i can agree that a scorpio moon is debilitated, but i disagree about its expression. i feel as though scoprio moon natives can feel their emotions very deeply, and they do have a layer of emotional intensity.

any planet that is debilitated or has hard aspects is a major opportunity for growth and development. once you learn to work with those energies, your life will be a lot smoother.

you'll never be able to fully heal your chiron wounds, but they do become easier to manage. not only that, but the topics pertaining to your chiron will allow you to become a professional in experience, so you can help others in correspondence to your chiron themes.

if scorpio can represent control, taurus can represent binging. wherever your taurus-scorpio axis is can show you where you feel the need to be more in control vs where you can potentially binge.

human nature is flawed, so this means that a sign's energy will never be perfectly manifested since it's in contact with human nature. if one judges a sign based only on a person's behavior, they can be judging the effects of human nature on the sign rather than the sign itself. a lot of people do not take the person out of astrology before giving their interpretations, thus, distorting and diluting astrology to one's personal experience rather than what it is at its core. it's one thing to joke about signs and discuss your experiences with certain energies, but to allow that to distort your perception and interaction with people, prohibits you from experiencing different energies and it's unfair.

#astrology blog #astro notes #astrology #astro observations #astro community #astrology notes #astrology observations #zodiac #zodiac signs #astrology content #house cusps #first house #sixth house #rising sign #ascendant sign #water mars #air mars #fire mars #earth mars #scorpio #scorpio moon #hard aspect #chiron #chiron wounds #chiron astrology #taurus #wounded healer

[mymarifae]

i just want to share my thoughts about akito and Death. because even now—even off the back of an event like burn my soul—people STILL talk about him like he's an explicitly depressed, suicidal character whose every action is cause for concern.

i think the idea that akito is suicidal has been floating around for a very long time. and while it's not entirely without merit (more on this in a bit), it's still a misconception. and it really feels like kashika exacerbated the issue. which is unfortunate! it's sad to see such a beautiful song be misinterpreted like this.

now don't get me wrong! kashika is about death. but two things:

1. kashika may have been written for akito, but it's not just for him. it's also deeply personal to ryo haruka. there are certainly similarities and haruryo undoubtedly understood everything akito felt during the events that led up to the crawl green incident, but i don't think it's entirely fair to equate his very real emotions and struggles to those of a fictional character. he and akito share kashika! you can interpret it through either lens, but trying to do so through both is where things start getting messy

2. whiiiiich leads me to my second point. who decided that the only way to interpret kashika and its themes of death is literally?

i think it's pretty common for people to automatically interpret any themes of death literally—or at least very negatively. we're naturally conditioned to fear death, and then we're taught to fear it even more. it's the change. it's the unknown. it's the very idea of an "end." most people aren't very fond of these things! understandably so. but personally? i think the symbolism that can exist behind death is beautiful.

Death is the 13th card of the major arcana. above all else, it symbolizes change (positive change; it's always, always about what's ultimately best for you). Death tells you it's time to move forward; this part of your life is done. there is more waiting for you—new opportunities, new experiences, a brighter, more fulfilling future—but you must be prepared to let go.

the habits and routines you have now? the mindsets that have kept you alive? your current sense of self? whatever it is, whatever Death is asking for, you have to let it "die." it won't serve you anymore. it will only drag you down. and it might be terrifying and you might not be able to comprehend what lies ahead and you might want to kick and scream and struggle, but you can't cling forever. endings are never easy, and sometimes they hurt like hell, but with each end comes a new beginning.

and yes if you've read burn my soul this should all sound very familiar lol:

looking at death from this perspective, kashika and the entirety of find a way out should read a lot more like akito caught on the cusp of a monumental transformation. suspended between "life" (the old) and "death" (the new) so to speak.

up to this point he's been fueled by spite and desperation. two very intense, very negative emotions—but it's an intensity that worked. everyone else on vivid street had years of musical experience, and he had 0. he needed to catch up and he needed to catch up quickly because it's not like he could put the whole world on pause. he could take his time to learn the basics, sure, but every other vivid street musician would continue improving and growing while he did that. there would always be a gap between him and Them.

unless... he worked harder—WAY harder—than all of them combined.

and maybe that wouldn't do it either. maybe he would be stuck in place forever, always playing catch-up, always struggling to stay afloat, always being left behind. he knew this. and he knew the amount of destruction he'd end up inflicting upon himself if he went down this path. but in his mind, it was okay. it was worth it. because he'd rather die endlessly pursuing what he loves most than live not trying at all.

but in find a way out, when facing off against his old bullies, he starts to realize that he was wrong. he's not just stuck in place. he bridged the gap a long time ago, and he almost didn't even notice. and where he's going now, spite and desperation are the wrong emotions to sing from. he needs to let the unhealthy, extreme mindsets die, but also it's hard to let go of something when you would have given up a long long long LONG time ago without it.

but with time, and enough poking and prodding from ken and luka, he does it. he lets go. he lets the old parts of him die, and he passes on to the next stage of his life.

akito's character arc has always been about growth. improvement. learning. Becoming Better. and not just in a musical sense although Yes That Is A Huge Part Of It. his arc is also about his growth as a person. it's about him becoming more confident, and learning how to be kinder and more patient with both himself and other people. it's about him learning how to let his walls down and let his loved ones in. and to trust that they won't start kicking him to death once they're in there.

it's about him learning to exchange the Spite and Desperation for Passion and Love.

it's about him becoming happier.

which is why it's so fucking startling when people talk about him like he's suicidal and on the verge of a breakdown. like, woah, what?

as i said though, kashika isn't the only source of this misconception and i find more merit in the other sources because they're actual aspects of his character and scenes in the story and not song lyrics that shouldn't have been read so literally in the first place. like, yeah. we've seen a ton of unhealthy behavior out of akito. he's had a very extreme perspective on his place in the world from a super early age, and while the severity frequently gets exaggerated in fanon spaces, the shinonome household isn't exactly sunshine and rainbows.

he's been moody, he's been prickly and abrasive, he's lashed out. he keeps most people at arm's length and builds walls so high not even toya can get through them at first. he had to! he wouldn't have survived if he didn't! like, he was targeted and bullied by a group of adults when he first started singing on vivid street. that is actually a genuinely traumatizing thing to happen to a kid!

so no, i'm not against the idea that akito has experienced depression and suicidal ideation in the past. kinda comes naturally with the territory he ended up in. but that's the key word: past.

i get confused when the idea is dragged into the present. because again! the whole point of his character arc is he's overcome all that PAST adversity! recovery isn't linear but we're not about to see him hit rock bottom any time soon. or ever, actually. you know why? because we've already seen his rock bottom. stray bad dog. that event was his big breakdown moment. that's what opened him up to try to start healing.

we're not getting another stray bad dog. stop expecting another stray bad dog.

he's alright, i promise. he's growing up. he's gotten better. he knows he belongs in vivid bad squad. he knows he's loved. he knows his friends will be there to catch him when he falls. he's always been strong, but now he's even stronger. he's excited for his future, and i think we should be too.

#i posted this on twitter when find a way out ended but i realized i never put it over here :0 #project sekai #akito shinonome #vivid bad squad #long post #i love love love love when media isn't afraid to tackle Death as a positive theme #it's so rare. it's so refreshing #because like . i don't think we should be afraid of Death. i don't think Death should be seen as some horrible terrifying despicable End #it's as much a part of life as life itself. it's not a bogeyman out to get you. it's not a harbinger of misery and doom #it's life. it's okay to be a little scared - it's impossible to comprehend what lies beyond after all #but it's okay. Death is here to guide you. it's just time to move on. nothing more. nothing less.

[some-pers0n]

Tui was doing something with the IceWings. A society in which children are taught from a young age that their only value and worth is their strength and ability to serve the kingdom. They are put through rigorous testing where only the best of the best will get through and live a half-decent life, whilst the ones deemed "weak" get pushed to the side. The sensitive. The disabled. The ones who wish to live in a place anywhere else. They are put out of sight, in small villages at the cusp of the borders. They get ignored and are left to rot without care or support from the upper-class. Why should they? To the higher circles, they're lazy and weren't hatched with such talents like them. Not to mention the wall, which further isolates them. IceWings are taught that anybody different than them are uncultured. That they aren't as sophisticated or regulated as they are. Practically animals, those other tribes. It keeps them contained in a bubble where they're blind to others, continuing to believe that their life of circles and strict rules is the best way to live.

Then, we see Winter and Snowfall. They were both victims of this system. Winter, a kind and loyal soul, had his feelings be repressed and beaten out of him. He developed a cold exterior as a means to fit in with the others. Yet, as he learns more about the Jade Winglet and the other tribes, he softens. Warms up. Drops that facade of some haughty and noble IceWing prince and shows that he is quite sweet and caring. Snowfall has to try and lead this warped and distorted world. She's paranoid and an anxious wreck since the death of her mother, scared and afraid that she'll let everyone down. In a system like this, the fear of failure is very real as even the slightest mistake will be punished. In the end, through learning through others and realizing the flaws in her tribe's society, she decides what's truly best is breaking down those walls that they put up and destroying it all entirely. They will build a new society from the ground up, one where dragons are seen as more than simply tools to exploit for war.

It's a very on the nose metaphor, but honestly I do kinda love it a lot.

#I wish we got a Lynx POV if only to see what life is like in the lower circles #Kinda sucks we only see IceWings from the perspective of upper-class dragons discovering the joys of being a decent person #but oh well #wof #wings of fire #SP-rambles #icewings #winter wof #snowfall wof #I do know that I'm sounding like a “SOCIETY! SOCIETY!!!” person but really how can I not

[astraltrickster]

All the people calling the analysis of the queer undertones in Goncharov "reaching" and "tumblr fangirlism" need to sit down and do some damned research because listen, I'm one of the first people to be skeptical of intent in things like this, I lived through TJLC, but this is, decidedly...not that. Matteo JWHJ 0715 addressed it in this 1975 interview, one of the few he's ever done! He makes it clear, in no uncertain terms, he is a queer person, he uses his pseudonym for his and his family's safety, and his work cannot be fully understood without understanding his struggle with being unable to fulfill a role prescribed to him.

(Hell, the comment about him sometimes wishing he was a woman so that he might be loved the way a man is supposed to love a woman makes me wonder if he ended up being on the mlm-transfem cusp, but that's as far as I'm willing to speculate, especially because odds are decent he's still alive so that would be not just historically unstable but also just plain rude.)

And I mean, okay, it's an obscure interview, I don't blame some of you if you hadn't seen it until now, and I know that filmbros can look at a guy saying "yeah this movie is partially about my queer experience" and still be like "oh but it's just METAPHORS there aren't REALLY gay people on screen and besides he was probably joking anyway", but...some of you at this point are just reinventing "UGH why do you freaks have to make EVERYTHING gay?" and claiming it's not homophobic because you are also gay.

Yes, the queer elements are a lot more subtle than you might get in 2022, but that doesn't mean this is just "internet shipper goggles"; you don't even get the full power of the themes if you don't acknowledge the complex web of attraction going on here. There's a running theme of characters obsessing over the ideal of something to the point of destroying the real thing they're based on - from "heritage"-obsessed nationalists destroying priceless, irreplaceable historical and cultural artifacts as acceptable collateral damage to take out one enemy, to Joe straining all his family relationships and driving himself deeper and deeper into debt in the interest of propping up their image of the perfect, loving, wealthy, glamorous unit; to, yes, the entire mess of the Andrey/Goncharov/Katya/Sofia would-be polycule. They contain so many examples of this running motif that you can't deny that the whole tangled net of homoerotic attraction is there without sacrificing the thematic integrity of the entire film.

And hell, with that - even if it wasn't part of the writer's intention, well, this is what "death of the author" means, not "the author is a prick so Hatsune Miku wrote it". If the themes of a piece have better payoff if you include an unintended subtextual detail - who cares that it was unintended? It's still THERE, echoing and amplifying the themes. Whether he intended to or not (and it's pretty clear from the interview that he did), he wrote a bi4bi couple being thrown into chaos because suddenly they couldn't pretend they were straight anymore.

(Speaking of which, while I can't fully agree with the reading that Goncharov and Katya's marriage was exclusively one of convenience, I can't say I really have a problem with it as a whole either...but can some of you out there please stop insinuating that it HAD to be because they MUST both be totally 100% Kinsey 6 gay? Bisexual people can have sexuality crises with body counts in the dozens too, thank you~)

#goncharov #unreality

[greaseonmymouth]

do you like THIEVES? are you a hardcore Leverage fan? somebody who watches Ocean's 11 - or Ocean's 8 - and think 'wish that were me'? do you want to eat Neal Caffrey up with a spoon? do you think the British Museum should give back all their stolen art?

boy, do I have the book for you!

PORTRAIT OF A THIEF by GRACE D. LI

This was how things began: Boston on the cusp of fall, the Sackler Museum robbed of 23 pieces of priceless Chinese art. Even in this back room, dust catching the slant of golden, late-afternoon light, Will could hear the sirens. They sounded like a promise.

Will Chen, a Chinese American art history student at Harvard, has spent most of his life learning about the West - its art, its culture, all that it has taken and called its own. He believes art belongs with its creators, so when a Chinese corporation offers him a (highly illegal) chance to reclaim five priceless sculptures, it's surprisingly easy to say yes.

Will's crew, fellow students chosen out of his boundless optimism for their skills and loyalty, aren't exactly experienced criminals. Irene is a public policy major at Duke who can talk her way out of anything; Daniel is pre-med with steady hands and dreams of being a surgeon. Lily is an engineering student who races cars in her spare time; and Will is relying on Alex, an MIT dropout turned software engineer, to hack her way in and out of each museum they must rob.

Each student has their own complicated relationship with China and the identities they've cultivated as Chinese Americans, but one thing soon becomes certain: they won't say no.

Because if they succeed? They earn an unfathomable ten million each, and a chance to make history. If they fail, they lose everything...and the West wins again.

WHAT YOU GET

pretentious af college students (mostly Will) who think they can get whatever they want (mostly Irene (but also Will))

STREET RACES. do you like Fast & Furious? good

complicated feelings about everything but especially, like, lesbians having complicated feelings about other lesbians who then fall in love (Irene and Alex)

FOUND FAMILY. the real treasure is the friendships we made along the way, and like, maybe also the relationships we repaired along the way

healing through stealing (Daniel (and Lily (and Alex (and Daniel's dad and Will and Irene and—))))

ART

discussions of identity, colonialism (and colonised art), art repatriation, the immigrant experience, class,

THEFT. so much theft. THIEVES BEING THIEVES.

immovable object ("girls have broken themselves trying to change him"!boy by which I mean Will because of course it's Will) meets unstoppable force (Lily)

did I say healing? I think I meant stealing. no healing. no stealing. no—

anyway everyone should read this book

#portrait of a thief #leverage #ocean's 11 #ocean's 8 #white collar #THIEVES

[findafight]

That's vaapad. Is the first thing Dustin thinks, barely registering that the one dropped into a defensive stance, indigo 'sabre held tightly, is Steve.

Spacer Steve. Cocky, charming, snarky, kind, jaded, force-null Steve. Holding a lightsaber the colour of Illium's sky just past sunset, when it turns from dusk to night, stars flickering on, Steve is furiously stabbing and slashing at Vader in a way few know how to.

Because Vaapad was Master Windu's form, one he partially invented. One that very few had the control and discipline to practice without slipping too far into the Dark. Dustin had only seen Master Windu in exhibition duels, not full combat. It's very different when it's real, Dustin thinks.

Beside Steve, complimenting every move with synchronicity that comes from only the deepest and sacred of trust, is Robin. Robin who is a bit clumsy and doesn't like blasters, who drifts off in her own world sometimes, who's hands flutter whenever they feel. Where his is the cusp of night, Robin's saber is a brilliant sunrise orange, a blur as she pushes into Vader's defenses.

"go!" Steve yells, his focus slipping for a moment enough that Vader knocks his weapon from his hands. Dustin cannot move, cannot feel the tugging of Lucas on his jacket, or Mike shaking his shoulders.

Until they found El, who had barely escaped years of inquisitor conditioning, he had been alone. Had thought himself one of the only Jedi left. He had told Steve and Robin this, and they had looked at each other for a long moment. Steve had said "we are no Jedi, but we will protect you."

But he'd lied. They were Jedi, now facing down a sith.

Robin throws her own 'sabre to Steve even as she pulls his to her hand. They wield the blades as naturally as their own.

"RUN, NOW!"

Steve doesn't look away from Vader, but releases the double grip he has and throws his hand toward them, an invisible shove that pushes them all back to the door. To the shuttle. To safety.

Someone pushes Dustin away from the doors, and he watches as Vader raises his first in tandem with Robin's feet lifting off the ground. Steve is clutching his leg even as he reaches towards her.

The doors close.

Dustin doesn't realize he's screaming until Erica slaps her hands to his cheeks and forces him to look at her. "You need to pull it together. It's not gonna help them if we just get caught now."

He nods. Mike warns them to strap in for the jump to hyperspace. The jolt barely registers over his shaking.

"hey, man. How...uh. how are you doing?" Lucas's voice is softer, max standing behind him, clutching his hand so hard his fingers are squished together.

All he can gasp out is "why didn't they tell me?"

The rest are silent for a moment. It's a betrayal, this secret Robin and Steve kept. Dustin has been alone, for so long. He wanted to be close to his lost culture, to the people that are now few and far between, scattered in the stars and hiding. Why would they deny who they were? Their own People? When they could have taught him so much, revived something thought lost.

Gently, Lucas sits down, pulling Max beside him, and weaves his fingers between Dustin's trembling ones. They sit together for a long time.

Eventually, Lucas swallows loudly.

"I think..." Lucas, Dustin realizes, has been shaking too. They have all watched their friends, people who they love and have spent so much time with, sacrifice themselves to protect them all from the Emperor's guard dog. "I think that they were protecting us, by not saying anything."

"what?"

"Dustin. They're in their twenties. They probably fought in the Clone Wars. I just. I don't think they lied, really, about themselves."

Dustin rears back. "they said they weren't Jedi! That's a lie!"

Erica stirs, from Dustin's other side. He hadn't realized she was holding him.

"maybe it's not to them. Maybe...maybe they think of themselves as people who used to be Jedi. But aren't anymore. Maybe that's how they dealt with the war."

"but..." Dustin has never considered himself anything other than a Jedi, cannot comprehend shrugging it off even in the face of the Empire. "But why?"

Max, who has been silent, sniffs. "Because everything else they said was true." Mike, who retired from the cockpit Will and joined their cuddling hums questioningly.

She sighs. "Steve fell in love during the war, and planned a future raising little babies with whoever it was. Robin had a grand romance that was never meant to be with a politician or something. They've known each other since they were small."

"just now, we know they were doing that while fighting the Separatists." Lucas said.

"exactly. Think about it. I don't know who Steve could have fallen in love with, but... Mike. Didn't your sister have to work with a Jedi Padawan a few years before the Clone Wars? Didn't you say she got...weird? After? Robin was always weird about your last name..."

Mike goes stuff, even as Dustin barely registers anything about his sister, focusing on who Steve could have loved. A horrible, horrible possibility comes to mind that makes too much sense for how sad, heartbroken, confused Steve was about the "break up".

"oh stars." Says Mike. "Robin was the Jedi Nancy fell in love with before she fell for Jonathan. Oh no. She even said the Jedi had an orange 'sabre. Holy kark!"

Dustin sobs. Erica presses her face into his shoulder.

"Steve fell in love with a Clone." Bursts from his lips.

"what?" There's an overlap of voices. Shock, horror, confusion mixed together.

He shrugs. "It's the only thing that makes sense. Max, remember when he told us? About when they decided to be together? He said his--his love" and Dustin doesn't know if he says it as a dirty thing because the Clone troopers killed his family, or because Jedi very rarely had romantic relationships and he was still too young to understand the complexities of them for Jedi, or something else entirely. "Wanted to raise his little brothers. Protect them. Steve wanted...well I guess he must've wanted to be a creche master. They wanted to do it together. In the temple, at home."

Max joins. "He said That they'd spent a long time working together with his Ma, so--oh kriff, his force damned Master! That has to be it, right Dustin? That's like a parent for Jedi right? He...Steve said he watched her die. Watched...watched his lover die."

They are all silent, for a moment.

"do you think...do you think Steve had to kill him?" Mike asks, when only the rumble of hyperspeed fills the space.

Max counters with "Robin said she was on Coruscant when the Republic fell. What do you think she had to do? What she saw?" Dustin knows. Dustin saw the hallways. Saw the men in white armour who they all thought were friends massacre them in their home, led by some sith apprentice.

"I think they did what they had to to keep each other alive." Will says.

No one can argue with that.

Original post

#steve harrington #robin buckley #dustin henderson #steve and dustin #stobin #platonic stobin #post o66 stobin au #stranger things #stranger things au #yeah stobin have a concordance of fealty what about it #steve was Claudia Henderson's padawan who was mace windu's padawan before Depa and his grandmaster started teaching him #his signature lightsaber form #sorry to the non sw girlies #steve x oc #past ronance #robin and nancy had a relationship similar to obiwan and satine pre war. ya feel? #angst #dw they save stobin but not before they are tortured :) #finda writes stuff #finda's rambles #the party

[dribs-and-drabbles]

This is a little something (she says and then writes nearly a thousand words) about Kawi and intimacy and his behaviour towards Pisaeng's affections in Be My Favourite ep 9. I've been thinking about it all week but wasn't sure if I wanted to use my precious free-time to make a post. However, on the cusp of the new ep, I realise I do want to get these thoughts out.

I realised from reading other people's perspectives of the ep that my initial assessment of how Kawi was behaving was perhaps clouded by the 'old lenses' that I was subconsciously watching the show through. For context, I wasn't sure that I liked that Kawi kept pushing Pisaeng away and I even mentioned the dreaded Blushing Maiden trope. After some thought, I realise that my initial judgement was very much influenced by a couple of things carried over from ye olden bl times (which may not have been done away with completely but seem to be on their way out in present times).

First, from having seen so many bl/qls with the blushing maiden trope, subconsciously I guess I still expect to see it because it had been so prevalent. And second, despite the re-wiring my brain has undergone when it comes to Krist, I think I still fell back on the earlier presumptions that Krist was either averse to skinship (particularly with men) and/or wasn't a good enough actor to convey physical intimacy (this, of course, mostly stems from his portrayal of Arthit in SOTUS, which for all we know was how he was specifically directed to act - and which many have interpreted as demi- or asexual, which absolutely has a place at the table).

My conclusions to these realisations is that I need to learn to trust these newer bl/qls that they really aren't going to rehash the old questionable tropes of yesteryear.

I remember some discourse before the last three eps of My School President - when we were worried about the ending - about how Bad Buddy taught us that we can feel safe watching it - "safe in the knowledge that tropes were being subverted, that the usual angsty triggers actually got resolved pretty quickly, that the ep 11 curse wasn't actually a curse at all". And we needed to take that knowledge to help assuage our fears about the ending of MSP. And I think I'm in a similar situation here with Be My Favourite and Kawi in particular.

Staying with Bad Buddy for a bit longer (because, really, when can I ever not talk about it in relation to something else?), I remember feeling a similar disappointment with how Pran was being portrayed in ep 9. I felt he too bordered on the blushing maiden with how he shied away from Pat's advances in his room before Korn came in, before the rugby game, and even when washing up after the hotpot date. I don't see that now because, of course, we know Pran isn't a blushing maiden at all - I mean he's not known as Feral Musky Scented HOE Pran for nothing.

Yes, it took time for Pran to get used to Pat's affections but that was probably because he had pined over this man for so long it was all a bit overwhelming at first. Pran probably needed to ease into letting down his walls, to be vulnerable around Pat, and to believe it was all real. And in the end, when he had gotten used to it all, Pran holds back because he likes to make Pat work for it...because Pat also likes to work for it, because they get off on role-playing - as I've said before, it's like foreplay to them.

I'm not saying this is the same for Kawi but it's a similar situation. I knew this about Pran, and that I was wrong in my interpretation of him, and yet I didn't think to approach Kawi and Pisaeng with the same lens. The lens that so many of you have helpfully pointed out - Kawi is a 30-year-old virgin. This is all so new to him, not only to be intimate with someone but also with a man whom he hadn't even contemplated being with. He's spent 12 years only thinking of Pear (emphasis on 'only thinking' as well as 'only thinking').

@burntsuncomet said it well in their tags: "touch gets very very difficult if you don't interact with people much, so intimacy of normal affectionate touches are tough. Kawi would have to start slow and let Piseang just smack a kiss, maybe hold hands, hug a bit, it's a lot of work before intimacy from touch will be like second nature in Kawi's case." @rocketturtle4 also added that Kawi's "general uncertainty could be very well tied in with his loneliness and, especially, his fear of losing Piseang if he does the wrong thing".

@waitmyturtles offered a slightly different perspective, that almost "everything in this show is totally intentional, and...that [Kawi's] discomfort is totally meant to reflect those accusations from Krist’s past about his clear discomfort in acting out intimacy (especially juxtaposed with how much better he’s done with the intimacy in this show)".

So, all of this is to say that I need to start trusting this new wave of bl/qls - a message I obviously forgot from My School President and which has been proven by several other series this year.

And I need to trust Be My Favourite especially, because, as @williamrikers said, "they've swerved and avoided every other trope so far I believe that they're working towards something here". And I agree. Every episode has been fantastic and I haven't disliked a single thing about the show so far.

On top of that, I need to trust my newfound belief in Krist's acting, because he has pulled out some absolutely brilliant performances in this show so far - so why should I think ep 9 is any different?

#be my favourite #be my favorite #be my favorite the series #I do find it interesting that both eps I talk about are eps 9 of 12 #it's probably just a coincidence... #or maybe from a story-telling perspective this is just where this particular beat needs to be hit #anyway... #this wasn't supposed to be long #ha! #thank you to everyone who contributed their thoughts on my ep 9 post #I am holding myself accountable #and checking the lenses through which I watch these show

[seth-shitposts]

DEFECTORS, DEFECTORS, DEFECTORS-

For you? Always friend 🫂💙💙💙 😘😘😘🥰

(Stars, I badly need to organize our docs for Defectors. I'm scrapping together to see what im pretty certain I haven't shared or gone into detail of yet.)

----

The main story of defectors will be split into two or three main parts, I think. (All of it will be in the same fic, though. The chapters will just be grouped into the parts.) Probs 3.

[I have a feeling I'm going to ramble a lot in this one so I'm going to go ahead and place a cut here😅]

The Bridgers//part i

There's going to be the first 5 years, from the night of the Bridger Raid, when Ezra is 7 in 12bby through to 7bby. This is the time span in which Kallus is taking care of Ezra, slowly losing his loyalty over the span of 4 or 5 years.

Year I

Kallus is loyal during the first year, and is conflicted about the exceptions he makes for the bridgers. For Ezra. It does and doesn't go against what he was trained for. To him, the situation is much more complex than the empire would view it and he wasn't prepared for that. His training hadn't included young children and he himself being young at this point doesnt know what intitive to take. So he's figuring things out. And he reasons it with himself, convinces himself that while he's crossing into a grey area in the eyes of the empire, that the goal of this is to establish order, therefore he is still carrying out his duty.

This first year is him trying his best to learn how to take care of a child and gain that child's trust. (Because if Ezra can't trust him, Kallus won't be able to take care of his needs. Lack of trust will mean lack of desire to communicate needs.)

Through the year, Kallus also works on some of the cases Mira and Ephraim give him while they do as promised and integrate into the rehabilitation program. He quickly realizes that they aren't the type of people he had thought they'd be, but more similar to the person who had taken him in when he was young. He isn't sure if he's taking back some of his judgment from objective observations he makes about them or because of how much they're hitting one of his soft spots and he's becoming bias.

So he turns his focus to the work they give him. Which is releasing civilians who were arrested due to a misunderstanding or without any real proper cause. Ones whose cases would have sat in some officer's desk for months, or even years, before being gone through properly. All while the civilians in question would have still been in detainment. Busy work, but Kallus is helping them and it's motivating Mira and Ephraim so he doesn't mind doing a few extra hours of work every other day.

•Before the Bridger Raid, he had done quick work of climbing ranks within the ISB branch. Having finished top of his class already put him farther ahead. By night of the Bridger Raid, he is either ranked 101 or 100. So not to double digits yet, and him being there on the cusp is the end of being able to quickly climb ranks because of how further more ruthless the shark competition is.

•Kallus enlisted to the academy when he was 14 in 21bby. He lied about his age to get in because the bare minimum requirements is that you had to be at least 18. The recruiter knew he was full of shit about his age but still allowed him to join because Kallus was eager [desprate].

[The idea of Kallus enlisting at such a young age is inspired from a conversation we had awhile back with @heart-of-a-rebel16 💙🫂]

•Jovan had been a major help to him in the academy, and because of his help in finding footing, Kallus was able to qualify for the new ISB training program that became available a year later. Kallus graduated sometime around 18 or 17bby, still top of his class. It would be very soon after that that he was on Onderon, when he was around 18.]

•Kallus’s parents had died when he was very young. He barely even remembers them. For a few years he was treated as a feral alley cat; a sewer rat. When he was around eight or nine, a miralukan chef from a restaurant a few levels up slowly worked on trying to gain Kallus’s trust. And they eventually did. They took Kallus in as their own and looked after him. Kallus had slowly built trust with them, and even looked up to them. However both Kallus and the chef became sick when an virus swept through the lower levels- Kallus had just turned 14 and barely survived. Most who were sick didn't, the person who took him in among them. So when recruiters swept their way through the lower levels, Kallus seized his chance immediately, was willing to do anything to ensure his basic needs would be met and that he could dedicate himself toward a worthy cause.

Year II

The second year Kallus has grown more confident in his ability to take care of Ezra and unknowingly more attached. There isn't anything anyone can't adore about this sweet kid. By this point, Ezra has started coming out of his shell and Kallus has visibly become much more relaxed and gentle.

During the second year, Kallus works on trying to build good relationships with Tseebo and Morad. They have vital roles in Kallus’s ability to make the deal with the empire/the warden feasibly work. And for that to be done smoothly, it would be best if he also has their trust. It's hard for him to try and be friendly or personal; the loss of the squadron he had been a part of still unpatched.

He's opened up more to Mira and Ephraim, has seen how similar Ezra truly is to them. He decides to start negotiating with the Warden on shortening the sentence. He does manage to get it cut down, but he isn't satisfied so it's something that he goes back and forth with him on.

He's also realized a pattern between the behavior of imperial officers and wrongfully arrested civilians and has been working on correcting that behavior. Try and fix the problem at where he thinks the source is.

He learns more about lothal and some of it's traditions. Mira loves to talk about it and some of the ways she would suggest the empire change in order to best change and support lothal. Kallus takes notes of that and in his down time does research on that.

Kallus learns that Ephraim had also lost his parents at a young age, but the town he lived in endlessly supported him. And that's the type of community he wants to help build and maintain for Ezra to have and be a part of when he's older, for Ezra and for the future of Lothal. Kallus includes that in his notes and has a moment of curiosity- if the lower levels of coruscant had the resources to take care of themselves, would they have had the same compassion that lothalites had for each other?

Mira and Ephraim add in cases in which citizens were arrested simply because of not having resources. Of those who aren't able to take care of themselves. Or those who have people they needed to take care of. Kallus begins on helping them as well.

Year III

Kallus has taken initiative of helping establish systems of support on lothal by giving ideas and leeway to Governor Azadi and Minister Tua. They're both thrilled, and with Kallus helping back them to the other branches of the empire by advocating that if these changes are made, rebel activity will be lowered. They've been implementing these systems in short bursts, but without approval of the empire, the programs will die off or be reported since it isnt official imperial regulation.

He keeps getting ineffectual and half-arsed responses on the situation concerning the bridger's hearings. Mira and Ephraim have been exceptionally patient. Far more than he is. He was able to lessen their time, but by the time they're to be released, Ezra will nearly be an adult himself. It's not soon enough. Not for how compliant the two have been to everything asked of them.

Kallus has also been getting draw back from his superiors, been met with resistance for the changes he'd been trying to implement. That he can do as much extra altruistic work in his time, but not to bleed that over and confuse it with enforcing the regulations and mandates. They don't want to allow Kallus to reason with them on it. And many of the officers have been more and more distasteful and unaware. He hates that he's starting to feel seeds of resentment, so he carefully keeps attempting to get his reasoning across that this produces the best results. There's so much back and forth and near the end of the year, he sees how Ryder is also getting pressed into a similar corner. He starts to wonder if the empire is simply making mistakes that they're choosing to stick to or if they might actually not have what's best in mind.

Year IV

Kallus still has some hope at the beginning of the year, but as the year goes on its harder and harder to believe it. Near the beginning of the year, Ryder was accused of treason. His replacement seemed to have been aware of it before either of them were. Kallus met her months before and she's worked around on operations with him. He doesn't trust her and starts to lose trust in Tua when she seems to attempt to get into Pryce’s good graces. Kallus is much more careful about what he says around either of them, especially the months following azadi's arrest.

His impatience and anger toward his fellow officers has increased as they continue to ignore his corrections, saying that it's not protocol or not their job to take into account.

Kallus wishes to speak to Mira and Ephraim about it, but he worries that he could put them in harm's way since none of them can speak freely. He's been fighting harder to get Mira and Ephraim released as soon as possible. But he's run out of strings to pull. Over the past few years, he'd accepted several promotions in hopes that having a higher standing will give him more influence over their case. But now, instead of being met with weak responses or excuses, he's being downright denied.

At one point he was offered that if he stops fighting the front of keeping Ezra from being enlisted into the academy, that Mira and Ephraim could be released on probation. Kallus shoots that down immediately. He is not even going to entertain that notion. Ezra is too young. And he isn't even going to bring it up to the kid, because Ezra will feel that it's his responsibility to give his parents the chance for their freedom. Kallus will have to be dead for that to happen. He isn't going to allow it.

He's not out of options yet. So he's going to keep trying.

Things on lothal have been getting worse. He can't keep up with the cases of citizens being arrested and detained. The empire is choking lothal and its people. This isn't what he thought the empire stood for. When did this happen. [It's been like this and slowly getting worse, he realizes.]

Year V

By this point the only thing keeping Kallus in the empire is the fight for the Bridger’s freedom and the fact that if he simply walks away, he's putting not just Mira and Ephraim indanger, but also Ezra and Tseebo and Marida and Morad. Anyone he's grown close to. The empire would not just detain him, but go after them as well. He isn't sure what he's going to do, but he can figure that out once he's freed Mira and Ephraim. Near the end of the year he realizes that he'll just have to free them himself. He'll talk things out with the Sumars once he return from a mandatory operation across the galaxy. Once he returns, they'll make a plan of action.

-But Lasan happens. And in the same point as does Mira & Ephraim being rerouted to a prison off lothal. He tries to act quickly, if he doesn't persue Mira and Ephraim now they'll be lost but he can't bring Ezra with him deeper into the Empire.

Tseebo disappears, and Ezra refuses to be found, Morad tries to reassure him that he and Marida will find him. Kallus tries to work as quickly as possible to find Mira & Ephraim and bring them home. Stars, let him find them within a couple months.

^^^^^ [this is an organization of thoughts I've been trying to figure out and finalize for months now. ]

The Search for Mira&Ephraim//part ii

The next section will pick up right after that and through to s2e11, the era of Kallus searching for Mira & Ephraim, becoming more and more desperate as time goes on.

He helps any rebel cells when he has the chance and smuggles imperial captives away. He works with Morad and Marida when he has the chances.

Over the course of this arc, he grows closer to Marida. She's still very reluctant. Morad has helped Kallus from completely neglecting himself. He tells Kallus how they have been able to find ways to make sure Ezra is getting food and proper clothing, but any time they even see him, Ezra disappears. Steadily avoiding them.

Kallus makes himself blend back into the empire. Figures out how to produce results by framing imperial supports who actively commit crimes themselves. This aids him in gaining ranks, the higher his rank, the more classified information he's given access to.

Though, he's moved up to ISB-051 and still can't find the Mira & Ephraim.

I'm thinking of having Kallus fake Tua's death. Passes her more information to give to the rebels in addition to what she has.

Fulcrum//part iii

This would be everything from after Mira&Ephraim's deaths up to the liberation of lothal.

---

Epilogue

And then the epilogue was originally just going to be maybe a couple additional lengthy chapters of afterwards.

But I thank @mystical-salamander for going back and forth with me so much in the comments of this post because Defectors will be getting an entire spinoff as an epilogue.

So there will be

-The Concept Dump of Defectors AU

-The Fic Itself

-The Epilogue Spinoff

-and then collection one-shots that aren't part of the main story or that explore possibilities that didn't make it to the 'canon' of the au.

#star wars rebels #swr #alexsandr kallus #ezra bridger #defectors au #wip ask game

[39oa]

f1 rpf graphing & archive insights

intro & prior work

hello! if you're reading this, you may already be familiar with my previous post about graphing hockey rpf ships and visualizing some overarching archive insights (feel free to check it out if you aren't, or alternatively just stick around for this intro). i've been meaning to make an f1 version of that post for a while, especially since i've already done a decent amount of f1 rpf analysis in the past (i have a very rough post i wrote a year ago that can be read here, though fair warning that it really does not make any sense; while i've redone a few viz from it for this post i just figured i'd link it solely because there are other things i didn't bother to recalculate!)

f1 is quite different from many team sports because a large part of my process for hockey was discovering which ships exist in the first place—when there are thousands and thousands of players who have encountered one another at different phases of their careers, it's interesting to see how people are connected and it's what was personally interesting to me about making my hockey graphs. however, with f1's relative pursuit of "exclusivity," barriers to feeder success and a slower-to-change, restrictive grid of 20 drivers, it becomes generally expected that everyone has already interacted with one another in some fashion, or at least exists at most 2 degrees of separation from another driver. because of this, i was less interested in "what relationships between a large set of characters exist?" (as per my hockey post) and more so in "what do the relationships between a small set of characters look like?"

process

my methodology for collecting "ship fic" tries to answer the question: what does shippability really look like on ao3? (the following explanation is adapted from my hockey post:) a perceived limitation i have with character tagging numbers on ao3 is that they don’t exactly reflect holistic ship fic; that is, if lando is tagged as a character in a max/daniel fic, it gets attributed to his character tag but doesn’t actually say anything about how many Relationship Fics exist for him on a whole. my best solution for this was essentially uncovering most of a driver's relationships and summing their individual fic counts to create an approximate # of “relationship fics” for each player. so any kind of shippability graph going forward will use that metric.

i used ao3’s relationship tag search and filtered by canonical in the formula 1 rpf fandom and only pulled relationship* fics (“/” instead of “&”) with a min. of 5 works. ao3’s counts are… Not the most accurate, so my filtering may have fudged some things around or missed a few pairings on the cusp, which again is why all the visuals here are not meant to show everything in the most exact manner but function more so as a “general overview” of ficdom. although i did doublecheck the ship counts so the numbers themselves are accurate as of time of collection.

(*i excluded wag ships, reader ships, threesomes to make my life easier—although i know this affects numbers for certain drivers, team principal/trainer/engineer ships, and any otherwise non-driver ship. i left in a few ships with f2, fe, etc. drivers given that that one character was/is an f1 driver, but non-f1 drivers were obviously excluded from any viz about f1 driver details specifically. this filtering affected some big ships like felipe massa/rob smedley, ot3 combinations of twitch quartet and so on, which i recognize may lower the… accuracy? reliability??? of certain graphs, but i guess the real way to think of the "shippability metric" is as pertaining solely to ship fic with other drivers. although doing more analysis with engineers and principals later down the line could be cool)

also note that since i grouped and summed all fics for every single ship a driver has, and since one fic can be tagged as multiple ships, there will be inevitable overlap/inflation that also lessens the accuracy of the overall number. however, because there's no easy way to discern the presence and overlap of multiship fic for every single driver and every single ship they have, and attempting to do so for a stupid tumblr post would make this an even larger waste of time… just take everything here with a grain of salt!

data for archive overview viz was collected haphazardly over the past few days because i may have procrastinated finishing this post haha. but all ship data for section 2 was specifically collected april 22, 2023.

PART I. f1 rpf archive overview

before i get to ship graphing, here are a few overviews of f1 ficdom growth and where it measures relative to other sports fandoms, since i find the recent american marketability of f1 and its online fandom quite interesting.

first off, here's a graph that shows the cumulative growth of the top 8 sports rpf fandoms from 2011 until now (2023 is obviously incomplete since we're only in may). i've annotated it with some other details, but we can see that f1 experienced major growth after 2019, which is when the first episode of dts was released.

something that fascinated me when making this graph was the recent resurgence of men's football rpf in 2023; while the fandom has remained fairly consistent over the years, i had noticed that its yearly output was on the decline in my old post, and i was especially surprised to see it eclipse even f1 for 2023. turns out that a large driver behind these numbers is its c-fandom, and it reminded me that out of all the sports rpf fandoms, hockey rpf is fairly unpopular amongst chinese sports fans! i wanted to delve into this a little more and look at yearly output trends for the top sports fandoms since 2018, only this time filtered to exclusively english works (a poor approximation for "western" fandom, i know, but a majority of sports fandom on tumblr does create content in english).

another thing i've long been curious about with f1 specifically is—because of how accessible dts and f1 driver marketing are to fans online, does f1 rpf and shipping culture skew a bit more "public" than other fandoms? i'd initially graphed the ratio of public fic on ao3 for hockey because i also wanted to see whether it was on the rise (again, apologies for how many callbacks and references there are in this post to hockey rpf... it's just easy for me to contextualize two familiar sports ficdoms together *__*), but i was surprised to see that it's actually been steadily trending downward for many years now. f1 fic, on the other hand, has steadily been becoming more public since 2016.

another note is that c-ficdom follows different fic-posting etiquette on ao3, and thus chinese-heavy sports rpf fandoms (think table tennis and speed skating) will feature a majority public fic—here's another old graph. since f1 fandom has a relatively larger representation of chinese writers than hockey does, its public ratio falls a little bit if you filter to english-only works, but as of 2023 it remains significantly higher than hockey's!

anyway, onto the actual ship graphing.

my ship collection process yielded 164 ships with 57 drivers, 46 of which have been in f1. all 20 current active f1 drivers have at least one ship with min. 5 fics, though not all of them had a ship that connected them to the 2023 grid. specifically, nyck de vries' only ship at time of collection was with stoffel vandoorne at 56 works.

once again because f1 is so strongly connected, i initially struggled a lot with how i wanted to graph all the ships i'd aggregated—visualizing all of them was just a mess of a million different overlapping edges, not the sprawling tree that branched out more smoothly from players like in hockey. this made me wonder whether it even made sense to graph anything at all... and tbh the jury is still out on whether these are interesting, but regardless here's a visualization of how the current grid is connected (color-coded by team)! i graphed a circular layout and then a "grid-like" layout just for variety lol.

of course, i still wanted to explore how ships with ex-f1 drivers have branched out and show where they connect to drivers on the current grid, especially because not too long ago seb was very much the center of the ficdom ecosystem, and the (based purely on the numbers) segue to today's max/charles split didn't really come to fruition until the dts days. so here's a network of f1 ships with a minimum of 75 works on ao3:

before i go into ship breakdowns, i also have a quick overview of the most "shippable" drivers, aka the drivers with the highest sum of fic from all their respective ships. the second bar chart is color-coded by the count of their unique ships to encapsulate who is more prone to being multi-shipped.

PART II. ship insights

first let's take a look at the most popular f1 ships on ao3, again filtered to driver-only ships.

here's another graph filtered to the current grid only, and then one that shows the 15 ships where one driver isn't and has never been an f1 driver:

for this section, i ended up combining my ship data with a big f1 driver dataset that gave me information on each driver's birth year, points, wins, seasons in f1, nationality... etc., so that's what i'll be using in the rest of the post. disclaimer that i did have to tweak a few things and the data doesn't reflect the most recent races, so please note there might be some slight discrepancies in my visualizations.

anyway—in my hockey post i did a lot of set analysis because i was interested in figuring out what made the players who were part of the ship network different from the general population. with f1, since almost Every Driver has at least one ship and it's a much more representative group, doing a lot of set distributions wasn't that interesting and so i stuck more to pure ship analysis. still, the set isn't completely representative, which i noted by checking the ratios of driver nationalities in my dataset and then in the large database of f1 drivers i merged with (though filtered to debut year >= 2000 to maintain i guess the same "dimensions").

while british and german drivers have been the most common nationalities in f1 since 2000, both in general and in my ship data, it seems that ficdom slightly overrepresents/overships them and then underrepresents brazilian drivers. i was also curious to see the distribution of ships by nationality combination (which is actually quite diverse), and though it once again wasn't surprising that uk/germany was the most common combination given that we've just established the commonality of their driver groups, i found it somewhat interesting to realize just how many ships fall under this umbrella.

i then once again wanted to see what the distribution of age differences looked across ships. the ships i graphed yielded a range of 25 years, with the oldest age difference being 25 years between piastri and webber. tbh, something that's interesting to me about f1 ships is not just how connected current drivers are but also how there is a very strong aspect of cyclicality, wherein long careers in combination with well-established celebrity culture and post-retirement pivots to punditry & mentorship position drivers perfectly to still be easily shipped with any variety of upcoming drivers, hence why we encounter a relatively significant variety of age differences.

of the ships with two f1 drivers, 38% were within 2 years of each other, while 44% had an age difference of 5 years or more.

more experimentally (basically i wanted to use these performance metrics for something!), i tried graphing driver metrics against "shippability" to see whether i could uncover any trends, normalizing to percentile to make it more visually comprehensible.

one thing that was interesting to me is that there is a strong correlation between a driver's points per entry and their number of ship fic; really, this isn't surprising at all because it's basically a reflection of whether they've driven for a big 3 team, and we know that the most popular drivers are from big 3 teams, but then i guess it does become a bit of a chicken and egg question... which is something i'm continuously fascinated by when discussing success and talent in sports fandom, especially in a sport like f1 where there is so little parity and thus "points" do not always quantifiably translate to "talent," making it difficult to gauge why and when a driver's skill becomes consciously appealing to an audience. i don't know but here's that scatterplot.

similarly, i also wanted to look at years active vs. fic to gauge which drivers have a High Number Of Ship Fic relative to how long they've actually been in f1, basically a rough rework of the "shippability above expected" metric i'd tried exploring in my old f1 post haha. because the set i merged with attributed 1 "year active" to a driver just like, filling in as reserve for a single race, and it also included drivers who maybe raced one season and then never raced again, but then i still wanted to include current rookies in their first season to show where their Potential lies... i settled on filtering to drivers who were or have been active for at least 5 seasons OR who debuted recently and thus have a bit of rookie leeway. there's a decent amount of correlation here, which is again... in f1, the underlying argument for remaining active for many years is that you have to be good enough to keep your seat, so it's expected that if drivers stay on the grid for a long time they will eventually accrue more fandom interest and thus ship fic. still, we can see some drivers who underperform a little relative to their establishedness—bot and per, interestingly also below the trend line in the points/entry graph–and then those who overperform a decent amount, like nor and lec.

this is somewhat interesting to me because i'd tried to make a similar scatterplot with my hockey set and found that there was... basically nooo correlation at all, but i also had to make do with draft year and not gp which i think might move the needle a little bit. regardless, it's just interesting to think about these things in the context of league/grid exclusivity and then other further nuances like the possibilities of making your niche in, for example, the nhl as a 4th line grinder or f1 as a de facto but reliable #2 driver for years down the stretch, and then how all of that impacts or shapes your fandom stock and shippability.

moving on, here's a look at the current top 20 f1 ships and how much of their fic is tagged as fluff or angst! out of all their fic, kimi/seb have the highest fluff ratio at 38.44%, while lewis/nico hold the throne for angst at 34.74%.

lewis/nico are also the most "holistically" tragic ship when you subtract their fluff and angst percentages (by a large margin as well), while jenson/seb are the fluffiest with a difference of 17.38%. really makes you think.

and finally this is a dumb iteration from my old f1 post but i thought this was kind of funny haha so: basically what if teammate point share h2h but the points are their shippability on ao3.

closing thoughts

that's really all i have! again, i don't know whether any of these graphs make sense or are interesting to anyone, but i had fun trying to adapt some of my hockey methodology to f1 and also revisiting the old f1 graphs i'd made last year and getting to recalculate/design them. i know there's a lot more i could have done in examining drivers' old teams since many ships are based on drivers being ex-teammates and not the current grid matchups, but it would have been too much of a headache to figure out so... this is the best i've got. thanks for reading :)

#*m #stats #f1 #kept forgetting i wanted to finish this but i was clearing out my windows going why on earth do i still have tableau open... #i know this is not even remotely interesting but i did my best!

[panlight]

I know you did astrological charts and the birthdays of the Cullens a while back (btw I want to see an updated version in case your opinions changed becuz mine have lol) but I'm pondering those of Bella, Edward, and Jacob. (Also if Ren was a "normal" pregnancy what could her sign be?) I know canon has them as Virgo, Gemini, and Capricorn respectively, but I feel like at least one of those signs isn't very accurate. I'm especially conflicted about Jacob as I did research on the 12 signs but it didn't connect. Your thoughts? Any new headcanons for the main trio and/or the Cullens?

I don't really know enough about the common traits of the signs off the top of my head to say. I'm not so much an astrology girl in real life, but I think it's fun in fiction as a tool to help flesh out a character. Pick a birthday and look up the astrological traits and pick some of those for your character, etc. Or, to work backwards when the author didn't give any of the major secondary characters birthdays to try and pick one for them based on traits. That's sort of how I settled on Feb 18 for Carlisle. We knew he "recently" had a birthday when Bella visits the house in March, so his birthday would be presumably in March or the later half of February. Feb 18th puts him on the cusp of humanitarian Aquarius and compassionate Pisces so that seemed like a good fit.

I think Virgo broadly works for Bella; they're practical, useful, hardworking, can be judge-y and perfectionistic. They aren't super creative or artistic, but they get stuff done but are prone to stress for all the pressure they put on themselves.

Edward's a Gemini (Jun 20) but on the cusp with Cancer, so he could have traits of both. From one website: "Gemini-Cancer cusps are playful, sensitive, romantic, and intelligent. They're highly perceptive and are more emotional and sentimental than they outwardly seem." I mean other than maybe playful (he has his moments but overall takes everything Super Seriously) that's not a terrible surface description of our vampire Romeo.

Jacob's a Capricorn (Jan 14). In descriptions I see a lot of words like persistent and loyal, which works. Negative traits like arrogant and controlling, which could fall into his post-wolfening character shift I guess. They aren't conventionally romantic but show affection and love with smaller gestures. He's not saying Bella is his life now or his life has no meaning without her, but he gives her candy hearts and warm sodas and spends time with her when she needs his sunny presence.

If I could assign a different birthday to one of the three it would probably be Jacob. I could definitely see him as more of Leo; loyal, a natural leader, generous, charming, talkative (telling Bella the secret history like, right away). I think that might fit his original sunny personality better?

Renesmee would probably have been born in late April or early May if she had been the product of a typical human pregnancy based on some rough dates I threw into a pregnancy calculator. That would make her a Taurus (like me!). Stubborn, dependable, set in their ways, appreciates the good things in life, gentle until riled, maybe with an artistic streak. I don't think I'm a very good Taurus example (the whole hedonistic thing is not me, lmao), but maybe Nessie would have been? I see some common traits with Virgo, which might complicate the mother-daughter relationship in the future. Sometimes people who are too similar don't get along well (looking at you, Rosalie and Edward).

#asks