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nanowrimo · 7 years

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Dear NaNo Diary... (Week 1)

NaNo can be thrilling, challenging, frustrating, and revitalizing––sometimes all at once. This November, we’ve asked NaNo participants to share their daily thoughts in a new series, Dear NaNo Diary. Here are some entries from the first week of NaNoWriMo:

November 1

Dear NaNo Diary,

I embark on this journey, one I've attempted many times before, but the winds feel different. With a story I've been dwelling on for years being my target, I feel I may be ready, this year, to complete my goal. Thank goodness I have my ToddlerBot's three-hour nap times to write...but for now, I shall push past these fears and write. Write like the wind. Or stare at the screen like a statue. Which ever way the day takes me.

Signed,

Troubledgeek

Dear NaNo Diary,

This is the worst November 1 ever. I have never been less prepared. Or do I just need a perspective shift? I am Clark Kent bumbling around in my glasses. I am Gregor Samsa on my back wiggling my cockroach legs. I am not a tragedy where it all falls apart. I am Chapter 1 of my rags to riches story. Wait... What happened to Gregor in the end? Never mind.

Thanks, Diary!

Signed,

anothermisplacedcomma

November 2

Dear NaNo Diary,

This is so hard...[but] the harder it is, the better I write. I want to get in there and feel the depths of emotion and dig out the really great stuff that will mean something. But I get scared. This journey for me is a fight against myself. It is a fight against my weakness, my fear, and my avoidance of the difficult. I want to be brave. I want to ride the roller-coaster. Will I be able to hold on? I am determined to do so. (I might cry a little on the way, though).

Breathe––then back to the fray!

Signed,

patti-rose

November 3

Dear NaNo Diary,

I feel awesome. I've written 3000 words and the day's not over yet. And a lot of those words are actually great. So yeah, I feel awesome. And happy.

Signed,

undeadjamie

November 4

Dear NaNo Diary,

...I was worried I was going to lose my steam, throw in the towel, and stall at just about 16k words on Day 4. But I kept going. I put sentence after sentence that didn't make sense until my scene started to take shape. Now I'm over halfway to my next thousand, which will be 19k, and I couldn't be happier that I kept trying. Maybe there's something to the motto "Just keep swimming" after all.

Signed,

shnuffeluv

November 6

Dear NaNo Diary,

For the first year I'm participating for this, I'm doing great! But... We're now on the 6th and I began to think to myself: "jeez, didn't expect my life to be sleeping, eating, working and writing.” It's harder then I thought, I admit. BUT, I told myself "when I begin, I finish it perfectly,” so I won't stop. I want to look back at it when it's finished. I want to hold my story in my hands—my own 50K words. Yes. I'm doing this. See you soon, my friend.

Signed,

Skeilah

We’ll post more NaNo Diary entries as November (and our novels!) progress. In the meantime, you can share your NaNo Diary entries on the official forum post.

Good luck, writers!

#nanowrimo #nano 2017 #dear nano diary #diary #journal #from nano users

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cl0verfairy · 2 years

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me the first minute after my tamagotchi aged up: aw man, it's not one of the cute bunny ones

me, immediately upon interacting with my kutchipatchi: nvm i love him

me, within a week now: i would die for him.

#tamagotchi #dear diary #tamagotchi nano #kuchipatchi

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dearfuturechild · 5 years

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To My Future Child

ENTRY #1 (age 20)

I've started writing these so maybe someone will learn from my mistakes. I don't know if you'll ever exist but it makes me at peace thinking that this journal will eventually reach someone.

My life isn't great and you'll probably feel the same when you make it to my age, but, by the time you do, I know you'll always have me by your side. Or, perhaps, you'll be just like me: surrounded by so many people and yet feeling so lonely.

I became a journalist so I could tell the world the stories of magnificent people but maybe it was just a disguise for my envy. I want to be like the people I interview... Above anything else, I want to feel like I have a place in the world!

I wonder if I'm the only one who lives this way. I look around and all I see is people smiling and laughing like they don't have one single problem... But, again, I see myself smiling back at them, pretending it's a real smile. Are they aching inside as well? Or am I the only “fake”? I wonder if they feel the same... I wonder if you'll feel the same...

(this content is purely fictional. I dont own the picture.)

#writing #writer #writeblr #journal #diary #letter #fiction #vintage #inspiration #woman #dear #future #child #dearfuturechild #nanowrimo #early start #nano 2019

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dollfat · 5 years

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bro my ipod is fucking dead just kill me

#i think it was damaged by leaving it in my car #ive used a nano all my life but i might finally get a touch #i don't want anything with wifi #dear diary

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the-ss-horniest-book-club · 3 years

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HBC June Theme Day Masterlists

If you don’t see your work, please DM us the link to be added! Thanks to everyone who participated!

HBC Disney Day - 6/15/21

@jobean12-blog - Part of Your World - Bucky x reader

@jewels2876 - Unexpected - Fairytale AU with Bucky

@book-dragon-13 - Marvel characters as Disney characters

@theycallmebecca - Family Trip to Disney World - Chris Evans

Date Night - 6/18/21

@book-dragon-13 - Moodboards - various Seb characters

@theycallmebecca - Bowling - Chris Evans

All Eras Day - 6/21/21

@jobean12-blog - Boys in Bed with Books (3) - Charles Blackwood x reader

@jewels2876 - Watch Over Me - Loki x reader

@book-dragon-13 - Moodboards - lovely mix of characters!

@marvelgirl7 - A Twist in Time - 40s Bucky x OC Renee

@marvelgirl7 - Maybe in Another Life - Loki x reader

@marvelgirl7 - A Way Back to You - Steve Rogers x reader

@nano--raptor - For Each Other - Winter Soldier x reader

SS HBC Unbirthday and 3K Followers Celebration - 6/23/21

@jewels2876 - After Hours - Chris Beck x reader

@book-dragon-13 - Road Trip with Bucky - Kentucky moodboard

@book-dragon-13 - Moodboards - mix of Seb characters

@jobean12-blog - Boys in Bed with Books (5) - Chris Beck x reader

@itsjustmelainey - Nice Wood - Lumberjack!Bucky x reader

@nano--raptor - Swim in Your Eyes - Charles Blackwood x reader

Dear Diary Day- 6/30/21

@jewels2876 - Catch Me If You Can - Bucky x reader

@jewels2876 - Making A List - Loki x reader

@jewels2876 - Memories - Chris Evans x reader

@jobean12-blog - Lingerie List - Loki x reader

#hbc disney day #hbc date night #hbc all eras day #hbc theme day masterlist

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notwritinganyflufftoday · 3 years

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Camp Nano July 2021 - Scene 4 Excerpt

I hope you don’t mind me sharing stuff even when my scene isn’t finished yet, but I’m just too excited and can’t help myself because... letters. I adore adding letters, diary entries and other ‘written material’ to my stories.

How about you guys? Do you ever add stuff like that in your novels/stories?

This is a bit of a longer excerpt, but I think it’s worth a read.

Dear Dewdrop,

Since we agree to leave the past behind us, it would be unbecoming of me to make you feel like you're still indebted to me in any way. Under regular circumstances I might even insist you cease your extravagant gift giving, alas I've gotten a taste of those delectable plums you grow and I cannot deprive myself of such simple sweetness in life. Instead, allow me to reciprocate by gifting you a brand new edition of 'Clouds in Spring'.

Ever since reading your last letter, my mind keeps wandering back to what you told me about not experiencing any seasons or weather changes, so when I saw this title I knew I had to give it to you. This copy is yours to keep indefinitely, so you can write it in or even rip the pages out if you're inclined to do so.

If you are currently considering sending it back to me in your next gift basket, you can expect to receive your plum basket untouched in return. That's what we call a fair exchange.

My community and I are faring well. We are currently preparing for the harvest festival and other than a minor conflict between two of my full-bloomers over decorations of all things, the proceedings are moving forward without a hitch. With the next letter I may be able to send you plums of our harvest, though I doubt they'll be as sweet as yours.

Yours in eternal harmony, A.

taglist: @avian-writes, @charlesjosephwrites, @drippingmoon, @fuyugomori, @super-writer-gal, @theramwrites (let me know if you want to be +/-)

#wip: htberitch #dewdrop draft #wip excerpt

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screaming--agony · 3 years

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Dear Diary (tw/rape),

When someone says “rape” in a joke, it shuts me down. Wholeheartedly. Not just because of my trauma and those flashbacks. But what if those people ended up experiencing what they were joking about? Or their friends or family? Rape isn’t a joke. It’s disgusting people use it as comedy. I appreciate those people who stop joking when they realize it’s bothersome to me but I don’t understand why it’s a joke. Rape. Forced. No one could help me. Helpless. I couldn’t scream. I couldn’t move. Useless. Broken. Beaten. And that’s just physical. Emotionally and mentally. I could detach but when I re-entered my body, my mind kept going. Not being there but being there. There is some sort of consciousness to just submit. Or maybe everything shuts down and it’s like a dead body. Black out if lucky. Or theres me who remembers everything. Everything. I know my core triggers, I’ve had plenty of time to reflect. And countless psychiatrist/therapists who have made me re-live it hundreds of times. I’m self aware. Talking doesn’t help because it just is what it is. Those professionals get so caught up in the core or the present obstacle, they forget to give tips on healthy coping skills. Healthy. To live in the straight-past and relive everything as if it’s present-reality. It’s confusing as a child. When you group the past with present without any transition, it’s all just one thing. And that one thing seems normal because it’s never changed. Rape. Courts, attorneys, a trial. And my rapist is free with no record. No justice. He was under 18 years old when he first raped me, which means he was tried as a juvie which meant he got his record hidden. He doesn’t have to acknowledge it. Ever. I was 12 when I was raped by this guy and I’m in my late-20s, I have never had time to relax. It’s because his case continued throughout his jail/my high school, his parole/my failed attempts at college, his new family life/my early adult. He has always been in my life because that’s how the court is. Give me updates on his spectacular life. My therapy/psychiatrist reminising the core and comparing it to present, no changes and no healthy coping skills. I learned all my healthy coping mechanisms and skills through the internet and reading books. I helped myself. I became mindful and self-aware but I struggle and no one can help me. When people joke about “rape”, my mind nukes with memories and how nothing has changed. I feel raped all over again. Everytime an unusual sound happens, a piece of me dies inside anticipating another traumatic experience. Everytime certain smells appear, I die inside because I wonder where he is, lurking? Why else would I smell him? I’m a wreck. I’m doing my best with everything thrown at me but it’s hard with a mental illness like Cyclothymia or depression or anger-related. I’m self aware but sometimes I get triggered and internally I snap but never towards another living being. I snap at myself because I fucked up. This illness won. I stopped being the person I want to be and became ugly and dark. I don’t bend and break because I’m not doing everything to be mindful, it’s because I’m hurt. Poof. Just like that. But thats like rape. I’ve adapted to shutting down or acting out in stressful situations because no one helped me. No one. Professionals and everyone knew how serious things were becoming with me but everyone stayed silent. I stayed silent because no one cared. Friends didn’t. Everyone left. I have only ever had myself because people aren’t reliable and no one cares until someone is on their death bed. People joke about rape like it’s harmless. But in a nano-second, life flashes through my brain and I either shut down or act out. I don’t know how to have a middle ground because I attract toxic people. I see qualities in a person that are overlooked and I become blind to the negativity because it’s all I’ve known. I don’t want to be bitter or hate myself or let this darkness consume me. I want positivity, good vibes. The word “rape” stays trapped in my mind and my body feels what it once felt, for a long time. Regardless if I surround myself with positivity, good vibes, and staying busy. I’m just off. I’m destroyed.

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comfy-whumpee · 3 years

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NaNo 2

Kala was pacing up and down the kitchen in front of the range. She’d always been a pacing kind of person. Rain could remember her revising with them in college, up and down the living room while she tried to recite dates for their history course.

Now, she was pacing over the tiled floor because she was triggered, and trying to hold off a flashback. It was something she did often, when the spectres came back and she went quiet and tense and angry. She paced, working out the energy, forcing her body to produce endorphins for exercise and grounding herself with the hard press of the floor against her feet. Five paces from the coffee machine to the back door. Five paces from the back door to the coffee machine. Her fists were tight and swinging in the air with each stride.

Rain didn’t watch. It’d be the same as watching a pendulum. There was no point. They sat at the table, cardigan pulled around their shoulders, with their cup of tea between their hands. Chai was good for the mood today. Spicy, warm, and something homely too.

Kala had locked him in the attic, but didn’t know what to do about it.

Rain knew.

“It’s fucking illegal, but he deserves it, right?” she said, stopping suddenly and looking at them. “He deserves it and more. After all the shit he did to you.”

“And to you,” Rain agreed. “I think we can get away with it for a little while.”

She nodded. She resumed pacing. Rain sipped their tea, and thought about what they would write in their journal about today. Dear diary, today the man who tortured us begged us for help...

Kala stopped again. “But what if it’s real? He’s really lost his memories?”

Rain shook his head. “We can’t believe that right now. It’s too convenient.”

“Right,” she agreed, and started pacing again. “And even if he did, he’d still fucking deserve it. He doesn’t get to escape the consequences like that.”

Rain made a neutral noise. Dear diary, today we discussed whether it was ethical to torture someone who had tortured us.

It had started to drizzle, they noticed, looking out of the bay window above the sink. The sky had dimmed from pale blue to a light, fuzzy grey. Kala’s workout things were still in the garden on the grass. She definitely had better thing to worry about, though.

“But,” Kala said, frozen mid-stride.

Rain glanced over.

She shook her head, glared at the door, and paced on.

They waited, watching the rain patter against the window, droplets sliding down over it and meeting together where gravity willed it. The gentle undulation of white and grey moved sluggishly over the sky, drifting away from the sea. They could go to the beach later, while everyone else would be staying away.

“We have to figure out if it’s real, right?” Kala said, and when Rain glanced back they saw that she’d come to a stop in front of the kitchen table where they sat. “We have to... We have to see if it’s real. How the fuck do we do that?”

Rain put their mug down, drawing their hands back into the sleeves of their cardigan. “I can think of a couple of ways.”

Dear diary, today Kala and I tied up Lauritz Nielson and locked him in the attic.

He cut a pathetic figure. He always had, really, even while he’d held their lives in his grubby hand. Rain was scared of him, of course, but the initial panic had passed. They wouldn’t be blindsided now. They knew what to expect.

He was lying on his side, staring in apparent misery at the far wall, when the hatch opened. His head lifted, and he sat up, hope brightening his expression. It dimmed a little when Kala appeared behind them, but he moved his eyes to Rain and stayed there, leaning forwards slightly.

It was... unnerving. Rain rubbed their arm, feeling the goose bumps across it prickle in protest at the image. It was okay if they felt worried and weak, though. That was why Kala was with them, Kala was always with them. She would keep them safe. She would be fire enough to keep them both warm, as she always had been.

“Criminals don’t turn up on their victims’ doorstep pleading amnesia and begging for help,” Rain said, opening the conversation as a lawyer might, with the outline of their case. “That’s a fact. That doesn’t happen. There’s no reason for you to be here unless there’s a scheme involved somehow, and if there is, you’re a part of it.”

Lauritz watched them, appearing to listen intently. There was no immediate protest of his innocence. He just listened.

“That means, no matter how much you pretend amnesia, we can’t trust you. We won’t. The consequences are too great.”

He nodded, though he didn’t seem like he understood. More like he was just trying to show willingness to comply.

Bullshit, Rain thought. Absolute horseshit. Catshit. Dogshit. Whatever. It couldn’t be true, this guy was just – a liar, a damned fucking liar.

“You’re staying up here. We’re going to figure out what’s going on. Whoever’s idea it was to send you in here, they miscalculated.”

Kala was still wearing her black T-shirt and leggings from her workout. When she moved forwards, muscles clearly visible, Lauritz shrank back.

“N-Nobody sent me,” he protested finally, quietly. “I-I don’t think they did.”

Kala dropped to a crouch over him, and pushed him back by the shoulders until he was against the floor, back still lifted over his hands but otherwise flat. He didn’t resist the push. He was still trying to look at Rain.

“I don’t remember, I don’t know what I-I did to you.”

Rain’s eyes closed briefly. If he claimed not to know, he would make them retell it. He would force them to relive those memories for no reason other than to sate whatever sadistic urge was driving this performance.

Did he want them to hurt him? Surely not. He’d been a sadist, right. He didn’t want it turned back on him.

Kala’s hands and knees pinned him down, but he wasn’t resisting. He looked across the room at Rain, doggedly at Rain, as though they were in charge “D-Don’t hurt me,” he said.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” Rain said.

“I am,” Kala interjected, and Rain smiled faintly at her theatrics. She looked down at him, her long black braid falling off her shoulder. “You don’t act like you used to, but people can change in three years, can’t they? You got to being a coward. I got fit. Heavy. I can fight now, you piece of shit.”

Lauritz stared up at her, paling. His teeth pressed into his lip. Rain watched, wondering at the catharsis this could create for them. Lauritz defeated.

“You’d fucking deserve it if Rain decided to gut you,” Kala said. “But I’m the muscle.”

Lauritz only blinked. His jaw was set, teeth clenched, as if something in him couldn’t hide the anger at her insolence, even as she overpowered him.

“Right now, though, we need to work out what your game is. So tell me.”

Lauritz didn’t sit up or try to shift positions, seemingly trapped by her heavy, stormy stare. “I-I don’t kno-ow,” he said, almost a whisper.

“You know,” Kala snapped back, her hand clipping his ribs. He winced, his breathing stuttering, and Rain kept silent, watching. “What’s the game?” she repeated, voice sharper, louder. It cut cold against Rain’s skin, and seemed to hurt Lauritz even more, as he whimpered.

When he shook his head, she hit him again, the dull thud of her fist heralding another noise of terrified pain. Was it possible for someone to act like this? What would the purpose even be?

Rain sat down, crossing their legs in the dust. Kala grabbed Lauritz’s hair and yanked his head back until his breathing squeezed down into short gasps. Still, he didn’t twitch to defend himself, no kicking, nor struggling. He just stared up at her as she drove fists against his sides, the interrogation giving way to a beating.

He had to be suppressing those instincts deliberately, Rain thought, watching closely as Kala’s fist smacked into his nose, and something crunched.

Her hand snapped back, and she hesitated as sudden tears filled Lauritz’s eyes and ran over, his cheeks reddening with an abrupt flush of colour. Seconds later, he was crying, sniffling and wincing, chest hitching erratically.

Rain reached forwards and put their hand around Kala’s elbow, stopping her from lashing out again. Her breathing was fast enough that she could have run a marathon, but she turned her face away from them, not wanting sympathy. “You deserved that,” she muttered.

Lauritz swallowed, shoulders hunching. Watery grey eyes moved to find Rain.

“You did,” they agreed.

The man’s gaze drifted down. He almost looked ashamed.

Maybe it wasn’t to manipulate them. Maybe he was trying to make penance, somehow, with a ridiculous lie as his shield to earn forgiveness from them. Maybe he wanted them to hurt him, so he could soothe his conscience.

Despite all the time they’d spent with him, at his mercy, they’d never figured him the kind of person to do this.

“Tell us why you’re here,” Kala said stonily, after a few moments to catch her breath. Her tone was as level as always. “The truth.”

Lauritz blinked. When he spoke, his voice was stuffy and nasal. “I w-woke up in a, a car park. It was n-near here. I remembered your address, thought it was – home. D-Didn’t know where else to go.”

Rain looked over him again, at the black sleeveless shirt, open flannel, and black skinny jeans with dirt encrusted around the knees and cuffs. He wasn’t wearing shoes, they realised suddenly. Just thick black socks.

There was nothing in his pockets, that much was clear. It would be trivial to see the shapes of whatever he was carrying. He had nothing on him. No weapon, no wire.

And yet he’d clearly shaved fairly recently. It didn’t make sense for him to be this dishevelled, but for his chin to only be dusted with stubble.

Something was off about this, they had to figure out what, and they wouldn’t take a single risk for the name of kindness. Even without his memories, if that could really be true, there was no proof he wasn’t the same bastard he’d always been. There was no guarantee those memories wouldn’t return. There were certain words in his voice that Rain never wanted to hear again.

“You think we’re fucking stupid?” Kala said, apparently having come to a different conclusion. “We could fucking kill you, you know that? And you’d deserve it!”

Again, as Rain watched, Lauritz merely looked back at her. He didn’t seem to have any objection to her claim.

Perhaps this was a search for atonement, then. Fine. Let him search. They had none to offer him.

Rain got to their feet, their bed socks gripping more easily on this floor than downstairs. They looked down at Lauritz, and Kala as her head turns.

“I’m going downstairs,” they announced, with a little shrug.

Kala nodded. She clearly had no intention of leaving Lauritz be.

Not their problem. Rain climbed back down the ladder, and as the sounds of the beating started up again, trailed to their room to write.

#nanowrimo extract #my fic #beating #interrogation #amnesia whump #past trauma #angry whumpee #whumper turned whumpee #whumping a whumper #revenge whump #death mention #rain #kala #lauritz

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worldsentwined · 3 years

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Tagged by @shoreslip

Name(s): Kira, Kiraly (on AO3, Dreamwidth, Discord) worldsentwined (Tumblr, Twitter)

Fandom(s): So if we go by “has created fanwork for at some point” I have at least twelve under my belt, maybe more if I’ve made some fanart that isn’t on AO3. Currently my brain is pointing at The Queen’s Thief and The Murderbot Diaries, with a side order of DnD, but I can’t quite give up on my unfinished SSSS works.

Where you post: Fic? AO3, with a rare ficlet on Tumblr. Fanart mainly goes here, when it happens. DnD character backstory is mostly just on Discord for now, I don’t know if it would be worth it to cross-post.

Most Popular One Shot (by kudos) this year: Contingency Plan 6186 words, 135 kudos

Most Popular One Shot (by kudos) Overall: Borrowed (The YOI fandom was SO good for my self-esteem, this one got like five comments within an hour of posting). 6106 words, 482 kudos

Most Popular Multi-Chapter (by kudos) this year: Oh hey, I actually did post a chapter of Every Little Thing He Does Is Magic this year! Time is totally fake. 31906 words, 40 kudos, I swear I will not leave you all hanging with the current chapter forever.

Most Popular Multi-Chapter (by kudos) Overall: If we’re counting ficlet collections, it’s Vignettes with 8437 words and 145 kudos (technically unfinished, as I will keep dumping Emil/Lalli ficlets here if I have them). If we aren’t, it’s still Before It Was Cool even after all this time - 31899 words, 118 kudos, unfinished and increasingly likely to stay that way I’m so sorry y’all.

Favorite story you’ve written so far: Oh gosh, I don’t know how to choose! Picking some from this year that aren’t already on the list, I’m so proud of how Seven Summers Ago turned out, Soldier, Poet gives me SO many feels, and it was so much fun writing Dear Mx. Machine Manners with Anrea and KalynaAnne!

Fic you were nervous to post: Ehhh I can’t remember any in particular...I think in general I get nervous posting my first fic for a new fandom, and anything for an exchange because I’m worried my recipient won’t like it.

How do you choose your titles?: Sometimes I pick a silly title for the draft document and it ends up becoming permanent (looking at you, Every Little Thing etc.) Other times I get to the end and need a title, so I either 1) look through the fic for some good line I can steal from myself, 2) look through the source material or song lyrics to find a good line I can steal from someone else, or 3) whine at my friends until someone suggests something brilliant. Once in a while I come up with a random title out of nowhere, or figure out what I want the permanent title to be before I’ve even started writing...that’s what happened with Contingency Plan, I wanted something that resembled the book titles.

Do you outline?: Not usually? Sometimes for multichapter fic I write down ideas for what will happen in future chapters (I did this for Every Little Thing etc and it helped a LOT) but usually I just wing it.

Complete: 140 on AO3...if we’re counting the ficlet collections as single, complete works, which I am because I am too lazy to count chapters right now.

In-Progress: Uhhh...let’s say three incomplete on AO3, two of which have already been mentioned I’m so sorry and an absolute mountain of WIPs that haven’t been posted yet. The other partially-posted one is Piecing Together An Imperfect Archive, which I wrote for a writing challenge in 2019 and decided to continue. I actually worked on it some this summer, maybe one day I will pick it up again. It is original work and has like NO engagement on AO3 though, so external motivation is not high.

Coming soon/not yet started: Listen I do NOT need more WIPs...the QT Bakery AU has been progressing though, slightly morphed into a cross-town road trip AU. And I was working on a sequel for Waking Up during NaNo but lack of planning got me very lost, haha. There are also some ideas lurking from the Murderbot discord, we’ll see what comes of those.

Prompts?: I will never say no to prompts, but fair warning they might languish in my inbox forever.

Upcoming work you’re most excited about: I am excited for the Bakery/Road Trip AU to be done. Does that mean I’m actually working on it?? Debatable.

Tagging: anyone who wants to do this, I never know who has or hasn’t done these already. ^_^;

#tag memes #writing #trying to be encouraged by those kudo numbers and not depressed #no two fics are the same can't compare them etc etc #mainly I'm more bothered by my inability to finish anything these days

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