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#doesn’t matter that he doesn’t have qi anymore

dr-duckie · 23 days

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soooo has anyone thought of a mdzs x svsss transmigration au with shen jiu and meng yao?

i’m not going into detail over their similarities but most people get the idea— brothels, yqy/lxc, spite, villainous antagonists that didn’t deserve what they were put through as a child, late start in cultivation, cunning personality, etc etc

yea.

let me start: shen jiu, one day, is gifted a high quality book set from one of his brothel jiejies when visiting them. at first, shen jiu had no plans to legitimately read them (mostly due to a lack of leisure time), but he eventually got to reading it when he was on a qian cao-mandated break after a qi deviation.

he gets hooked. when SJ is nearing the end of the novel, his thoughts are as followed: JGS deserved to get castrated and his limbs thrown to the endless abyss— WWX, although he was absolutely shameless, he was at least competent— LWJ was a fool for being so in love, but he was moral and loyal— and lan xichen…

an ache forms in shen jiu’s heart whenever he thinks about him. lxc, a man with a gentle, pacifistic, amiable personality who believed in what was right all the way until the end. he wholeheartedly supported and trusted his sworn brother, jin guangyao, until he couldn’t anymore.

shen jiu was touched. lan xichen, that man, had wasted all his efforts on an irredeemable monster. in a similar fashion, yue qingyuan was doing the same.

as for meng yao… shen jiu resented him. he had a loving mother, one who worked so hard for his happiness, only to squander all her efforts. meng yao… had what shen jiu envied the most in the newest disciple he just brought in. luo binghe. imo, it would be a clear sign of shen jiu’s self hatred projected onto meng yao. he sees the two of them as the hopeless scum of society, too broken to be loved. they were “charity cases” that couldn’t be fixed, no matter what.

soon after shen jiu finishes the novel, he falls into a qi deviation (the very same one that shen yuan transmigrated into) and dies. through some time space dimension jumping, shen jiu lands into the body of one 14 yo meng yao. and that’s just the beginning of his story.

shen jiu starts out by practicing cultivation in secret. meng yao’s body, although he is no prodigy, would definitely benefit from practicing from a younger age. then he gets to planning. with how shen jiu is, he would not step a foot in the karp tower, with a system or not. like, just no. i believe he’d set JGS on fire if he ever had to see the guy. the only plot point shen jiu intends on fulfilling is saving lan xichen, and then living a comfortable life away from the jianghu.

but within a year of living with meng shi in the brothel, shen jiu grows attached to her. he *wants* to make her proud, even if he wasn’t her real son. he was a total impostor. but even so, he didn’t want her legacy to be tainted by the actions of jin guangyao— who was now still meng yao, who is now shen jiu. but he doesn’t want to go to the jin sect. after an arduous process of actual communication with someone for a long time, meng shi realizes that the jin sect wouldn’t be good for her son, and jin guangshan wouldn’t help her *or* meng yao. the night before meng shi dies, she tells shen jiu that she loves him, regardless of whether he may fulfill her dreams.

aaaand, after that, shen jiu buries meng shi. he makes enough money as an artist (in secret, with his skillset from qing jing) to give her the proper burial rites. after that, he runs away. shen jiu finds a job as an assistant to an artist who sold fans and paintings in caiyi town. through his job, he meets NHS first, when he’s on his first year of being st the cloud recesses. surprisingly, shen jiu and nie huaisang have a friendship that… isn’t too bad. shen jiu is amiable, shows off the different fans he’s painted, and nie huaisang eagerly buys all of them. nie huaisang also buys out shen jiu’s other works, like his poetry and short stories. that day, with shen jiu’s qiankun pouch full, he treats himself to tanghulu.

the second encounter with nie huaisang brought along jiang cheng and wei wuxian. at that point in time, they were investigating the waterborne abyss problem. shen jiu, a year older now, shows nie huaisang his “new” invention: the war fan. wei wuxian is absolutely delighted at the new invention, and jiang cheng, although less excited that WWX, is considerably impressed as well. as for NHS, well, words can’t describe his happiness. shen jiu, on a whim, gifts it to him for free— mockingly thanking NHS for being such a generous patron. nie huaisang, unable to contain his excitement anymore, jumps on shen jiu and embraces him dramatically. this causes such a commotion, lan wangji comes over. with his brother.

(okay, i’m done writing for today.)

#mdzs #svsss #shen jiu #meng yao #shen qingqiu #jin guangyao #qijiu #xiyao #what if

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lisbeth-kk · 2 months

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Sherlock fandom

Never Whole Again

Sherlock’s been dead for months. Literally. John’s been dead for months too. Not literally. He doesn’t exactly live either. Exists if he must put a word on it. The grief shouldn’t still be as raw as it was when he realised that Sherlock had no pulse, laying on the pavement outside Barts. Doesn’t matter what everyone tells him. That it’ll get better. Less raw. More faded.

“Faded, my arse!” John had shouted at whoever told such a ludicrous lie.

The love of John’s life was dead and buried, alongside with John’s heart and soul. He felt like an empty shell, and he knew he could never be whole again. The love he felt for Sherlock was all-consuming and no one could ever replace him. John still kicked himself several times a day for never telling Sherlock exactly that. To Sherlock, John was his friend, nothing more.

When Philip Anderson’s campaign, I believe in Sherlock Holmes, made it to the papers, John was indifferent. Easy for Anderson to say now, wasn’t it. He never seemed to have believed anything Sherlock had said or done when he was alive. Paying tribute to him now seemed like hypocrisy to John. He believed in Sherlock. Always had. Until it was too late.

***

When the restlessness becomes too much to bear, John writes to Sherlock. For some reason Sherlock’s email account isn’t deleted, and John’s emails are never returned, so he continues to write. What he writes, varies. It can be anecdotes about Mrs. Hudson, customers at Asda, John’s nightmares, crimes he’s read about in the papers or watched on the news, the latest Bond film, or new knowledge he’s learned from QI. He writes poems too. All of which circles around Sherlock.

The solar system wasn’t important you said

I thought you were a pompous arse saying that

You’d be glad to know I finally agree with you

What significance does it have now when you’re not here to mock it?

Who cares if the Sun moves around in space now?

Not me. Not anymore

You called me your conductor of light

I never told you what you were to me

If I were the Sun, you were the Moon

You appeared cool and bright

You shone just as much as the Sun

The moonlight broke when you died

It went out just like the light in your eyes did

And I’ve been wandering in the dark ever since

Until the day I die, I’ll never see such a light again

John’s mentally exhausted after finishing and sending the poem. It’s his last email, because two days later the light returns to John’s life. Sherlock’s broken in many ways, but John’s determined to heal him, to love him, and to never doubt him again.

I guess I needed to write a bit of angst in between all the fluffiness of Fluffbruary. Sorry, not sorry!

@flashfictionfridayofficial @totallysilvergirl @keirgreeneyes @calaisreno @a-victorian-girl @phoenix27884 @topsyturvy-turtely @safedistancefrombeingsmart @gregorovitchworld @helloliriels @peanitbear @raina-at @7-percent @ninasnakie @sabsi221b

#flash fiction friday #sherlock fandom #john watson #sherlock #johnlock #bbc sherlock #sherlock fanfic #FFF240 #broken moonlight #post reichenbach

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heymeowmao · 12 days

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2024.04.08 - https://weibo.com/l/wblive/p/show/1022:2321325020940722634974

bgm: 世世 (Lifetime) - The Legend of Shen Li OST

LYN: Hallo everybody, long time no see! Long time no see. Hold on a sec. It’s been so long that the equipment feels unfamiliar. I know it’s been, truly, a long time since I streamed last. Um... my apologies. C: The equipment turned rusty? LYN: It’s not to that extent. My equipment’s the best.

C: I climbed the wall (left the fandom), da-ge. LYN: What does that mean…? You don’t need to climb walls to watch my stream. You can just watch on your bed or on a chair- sitting, lying down- it’s all good. Sit on your sofa. You don’t need to climb walls to watch. LYN: I can’t believe you would climb the wall. Here in my circle, if you want to climb the wall, you can just climb silently. Okay? You can climb the walls silently- you don’t need to tell me. I have a lot of fans, and many of whom have stayed with me for a long time. If one day you tell me, “Ning-ge, I don’t want to be your fan anymore. I’ll go be a fan of someone else.” Let’s arrange this in advance- you don’t need to tell me. That’s the first thing. The second thing is: you don’t need to tell other fans, either. Ok? Can you do that? What we want is a genial coming and a genial separation. You can do that right, friends? You don’t need to tell me and you don’t need to tell other fans. You don’t need to make it clear, then leave. There’s no need. LYN: There’s a song that goes, “Break up with decency, and no one has to say sorry.” (体面 (Decency) by Kelly Yu) -- 体面 (Decency) LYN: I really forgot how to sing this song. Excuse me. But you get the point. If one day you decide to climb the wall or window, it doesn’t matter. Maintain some decency. Thank you.

bgm: 撞地球 (Earth Collision) by Yu Er Qi C: How come you suddenly came to stream? LYN: I just got back to Hengdian and I think it’s only right that the first thing I do is come meet you. I know we haven’t met up in a while and you all miss me.

C: Have you eaten? LYN: Today I sort of started in my new crew and I’ve been training in martial arts. Before training I had two pieces of toast, so I’m good. C: Do you have a lot of fight scenes? LYN: It’s not a little, in any case. It’s a guzhuang drama. I’ve had few roles in guzhuang dramas where I didn’t have a fight scene. For the most part, I always have to fight. But my previous drama (ZLYM) has less- not too many scenes, maybe two or three. But this drama has a fair amount more fight scenes. I’ve also played a role where I didn’t have any fight scenes - Luo Mingxi. He was a civilian court official. He just talked to people all day, and didn’t have to fight. I didn’t have to fight or ride horses. So I dodged the bullet there, but little did I know that the next drama after that- TXJ- was nothing BUT fight scenes. Life is just like that: the amount of work you have to do is fixed. If you’re lazy to begin with, you have to make it all up later. It’s okay, though. I think the more fight scenes is considered as a challenge for me. Why am I training before officially entering the crew? Because I feel like my skills have regressed. I didn’t have many fight scenes in my previous drama so I want to train again and regain some coordination. Since I’m so tall and all. My coordination is not the greatest so I wanted to acclimate first. It’ll save me from holding the drama back.

C: Then, Ning-ge, do you live in this drama? LYN: /laughs/ /sighs/ LYN: It’s undecided whether I die or not in this drama. No- not “undecided”, I just can’t tell you. Of the dramas I’ve landed roles in, my death rate is really… Except for the modern dramas, my death rate in guzhuang dramas has reached 80%. I don’t know what it is. Just coincidence? But in this one, I probably don’t. I’m not sure. LYN: I think it’s fine to come to your end when the right time comes. From one perspective, it’s a goodbye to the character. From another, it will make the viewers remember the character. Of all the dramas I’ve done there was never any intention to shoot a sequel, so it doesn’t really matter if I died or not. C: Ning-ge, if you die you’ll get a red envelope. LYN: Usually there’s only 5-10rmb in there. When you’re shooting a drama and your character dies the crew will prepare a red envelope for you. To ward off the negative energy. Because even if you’re just shooting a drama, if you’re playing a character who dies, it’s not very auspicious. So they will prepare a red envelope for you to wash away the negative energy and let you walk away “clean”.

C: When will you stop streaming? LYN: It’s hard to say. I’ll just stream a while and when I’m tired, I’ll leave. Ok?

C: I’m in class. LYN: It’s ok- take your class. There’s always the stream playback and you can watch it when you’re done learning in class.There’s nowhere for me to run, anyway. C: How could you ask him when he’s leaving when it’s only just started?? LYN: Yeah! If you don’t want to watch the playback, then turn the notifications on and next time when I stream you won’t miss it. Also in the early stages when I’m preparing to join the drama- that includes script readings and etc- during this time I have a higher probability of streaming. So in the next few days I probably won’t stream just this once. I’ll do a few more so, you can subscribe to my weibo. When I start streaming you won’t miss it. Watching the livestream is better (than playback) though, because there’s this sense of cooperation. I think that’s one of the charms of a livestream- I can see all the comments that you’re typing.

C: What a large pie. LYN: That’s enough. I’m here now, aren’t I? It’s not like I’m not streaming AT ALL. If it went a bit longer without me streaming, you can say that about me. But I’m here today! I’m very conscientious! As soon as I have time- GA!- I start streaming.

bgm: 热辣滚烫 (YOLO) - YOLO movie OST

C: Are you wearing a hat because you didn’t wash your hair? LYN: No, it’s because I’m balding. I don’t have any hair up here and what you see now is a hair piece. I bought fake bangs. If I take this off it’ll look like a Qing dynasty drama. You know what that is, right? The front top is all bald and starting from here (back) they leave a braid. I look like that. Another thing is- even if I WERE to act in a Qing drama, they’d think my hair is too little. They’d have take off a little more- my hairline is right here. So it’s not that I haven’t washed my hair. C: You shampoo spokesmanship has ended, right? LYN: … Oh, yeah! I’m still L’Oreal’s brand spokesman. I have their hair and makeup products. Friends- that part just now was just a joke. It’s because I haven’t used L’Oreal’s product to wash my hair today. So my hair is a bit oily. I’m wearing a hat to cover it up. C: Oh no, Ning-ge. You’re going to lose your spokesmanship. LYN: Don’t speak nonsense!! Are you cursing me?

----- ground rules for new fans

C: Ning-ge, can you hit me? LYN: !! Come here, come here. /grabs a water bottle and smacks it across the “mouth”/ Shut up! LYN: Don’t you dare try to provoke me in my own stream. LYN: Let me tell you friends, it’s like this. I always joke about this. I say- It’s been about six years since I’ve debuted and I don’t have many new fans. I always say that I don’t have new fans. But now, after a few of my dramas have aired, I realize that there IS a group of new fans out there. There are, and I can feel it now. How can I feel it? When? It’s because my old fans and I have this feeling of mutual respect between us. We respect each other. I respect them, and they respect me. They would never come to provoke me. Very rarely, at least. There are very few of them who would call me “husband.” A lot of fans like to call their idols “husband” and the like, but we don’t do that here. If sometimes they shout a few times, it’s only them testing it out but otherwise they maintain decency. We’re returning to that word again, “decent.”

LYN: But I found out that there are a group of new fans- it was at the ZLYM drama wrap fan support event. I went to greet you all, right? I discovered a problem. There were a few of you who would reach out and grab my hands. Usually I just wave at you. They reached directly for my hands, to touch me. In that moment I was a bit stunned. It’s been a really long time since I experienced that- I was touched. Someone took advantage of me! No, not to that extent, because it’s not as if I am very expensive, but- what happened to the boundary between us? At the last fan support there were at least two or three people, if I remember correctly, who grabbed my hand. Here, anything is fine as long as you don’t start getting handsy. Ok? I’m sure that there are many new fans watching my stream. We have rules here, and one of them is: Don’t touch. Don’t get handsy, ok? I can out my trust in you and come closer to you, but don’t touch. Remember that. That’s the first thing.

LYN: The second thing is- a lot of my old fans know- I’ve said this before. If you’re greeting me, it doesn’t matter if you’re at the airport or on the street, if you say something like, “Oh, Hello Ning-ge! What a coincidence!” or something of the like, that’s okay. But don’t grab your phone. The thing I hate the most is when people are like this: /brandishing their phone, watching him THROUGH IT, and talking at him trying to get a good shot./ You think you’re a reporter?? Sometimes I even suspect that the next thing you’ll say is, “Ning-ge, what is your most favorite out of the roles you’ve played?” I feel like you’re trying to INTERVIEW me. There’s no need. If you want to say “Hi” to me, then do it. If you want to record me, then don’t say anything. Ok? When you call me usually I’ll turn back to look. But when I turn back to see that you’re recording me, I just feel like… a tool. My purpose is so that you can get a shot of me “turning back and crying.” It feels like that. I don’t really like it. If you want to record me, then don’t call out for me. If you call out for me, then greet me properly- like how friends on equal footing would communicate. Ok?

LYN: Another thing is, in public settings, please don’t call me “husband.” It’s really shallow! Is our relationship really that shallow? I don’t want it to be! Let’s not play that game. We’re just good friends, here. Right, ‘fam? Don’t call me that. If you do and some passerby hears/sees, what are they going to think of us?? Let’s not be like that. What are you doing shouting that on the street? What if someone records it and sends it to your mother?? Someone gets a video of you and uploads it online, where your mother comes across it and then thinks, “My daughter is out here doing WHAT??” See if she’ll smack you when you get home or not. C: Post it. My mother would be so happy she could die. LYN: /laughs/ I’ll send it to your father! Let him hit you!

LYN: I know I said this in a joking manner, but despite that, if we get a chance to meet in the future, don’t touch. Don’t grab me. Thank you. I… I mind these things. It’s not that don’t like you all, I just... don’t think there’s a need. C: (No hands?) Then, lips. LYN: … LYN: It’s like this. I’m pretty tall. When I’m wearing shoes I’m probably taller than 1.9m. The average woman’s height is around 1.65m. My leg, if I lift it, can reach up to around 1.65m. And then, if you come over with your lips, and I happen to lift my leg… My legs are around 1.13m long. If I lift then kick out- like this- If I kick you on the mouth, I think you can get sent flying around 1.75m out. It’s possible that your head hits the floor first. So, please be aware of your safety. Try not to come at me with your lips. You’d get sent flying to around 1.75m-1.85m away. Let’s not struggle with the exact distance. Keep that in mind. Thank you.

-----

C: Ning-ge, your legs are 122cm long. LYN: No, they’re not that long. We don’t need to embellish ourselves like that. They’re not that long- it’s just because I’m wearing shoes. It’s the angle of that picture- I know which one you’re talking about. There was a 1.22m tall divider, right- it makes it look like I’m very tall but it’s just because my shoes were thick to begin with. Also, honestly, I don’t see the need to fight for height. There’s no way I can be considered short or get any shorter, so there’s no need for me to go around boasting about how long my legs are. That’s not something we market. I don’t want to create that image- that I’m full of myself. “Wow, Ning-ge’s legs are 1.22m~!” I’m only 1.9m tall- is my upper body only .7m in length?? Not even .7, is it more .6? What am I?? Am I the top of a millstone?? Just like with the beads, my upper body must of be of the short variety. Like a pumpkin seed? There’s no way it’s that short. There’s no need to fight about it, because it’s true that I am quite tall but as long as it’s proportionate, that’s enough. We don’t need to go out and advertise that my legs are 1.22m long. That’s terrifying. Let’s not market me like that. I can’t stand that type of image.

bgm: 穿越回忆奔向你 (Run Through Memories Towards You) - Sword and Fairy 1 OST

C: /asks about the photos at Disney/ LYN: They were photoshopped. You think we wouldn’t need to edit them, a little? It’s necessary. Otherwise I wouldn’t be presentable.

--- The Truth S2

C: When does The Truth start? LYN: Probably around… the end of April? I’m not exactly sure. I heard that it would air at the end of April. I hope it can happen, in any case. I know they’re already editing. We’ve shot two episodes already. Wait- how many is it? /thinks/ It should be four episodes.

C: Do you still think it’s scary? // I thought you said it wasn’t? LYN: I know I’m up in age, but I am still very innocent/naive. Not to say that I maintain any sense of childish innocence, but I was truly too naive. /jokingly/ I wet myself. LYN: I hope that- because there’s this thing that wraps around your waist and there’s a stick that holds the camera up, facing you. Like a GoPro, recording your reactions. I hope the resolution on that is pretty low, otherwise you’ll realise that I’m close to tears. I couldn’t stop my saliva, so it came out through my eyes. It feels like that. LYN: When we were recording the first episode, I think the crew was trying to test what our limits were. I know you’ve seen online- we were holding lanterns. That’s not something in the actual episode itself. I think the crew was using that to test our courage and see how much we could take. From level 1-5. Then for example, if you already can’t take Level 1, or me- when I got to Level 5 and I passed out. I was scared out of my wits. If the crew thinks that at that level the later recordings won’t go smoothly, they might choose to replace you with someone else. They’ll ask another guest to come play. The first episode is five levels of terror, as a test. If you happen to pass out during the test, they’ll switch you out with someone else. They’ll ask another artist to go. Or, if you get so scared you start spitting white foam and are sent to the emergency room, they’ll ask someone to step in. If you pass out in the middle of recording, then it’s difficult to continue the episode. That would be a production error, so they tested us first. LYN: It’s a good thing that I made it through. I only cried.

C: Ning-ge, are you also Liu Xialai (留下来; to stay/remain) this time around? LYN: No. I’m called “Liu Yanlei” (流眼泪; to shed tears) now. /laughs/

LYN: I’ve already worked with The Truth production crew once before, right? So my expectation from them is that they cut out the parts of the episode where I was so scared I cursed out loud. I don’t care if they show me crying- they can air that. It’s not shameful. That’s a real reaction. But all they need to do for me is to cut out my cursing.

---

C: Ning-ge, is your nose is okay? LYN: It’s okay. I bumped it a little when I went to record for Hello Saturday, but it’s okay. It’s all good.

C: Why the sudden stream? LYN: I came back (to Hengdian) today, so I decided I would stream a while. It’s been a long time since we’ve met, so I came to see you.

LYN: I’m going to stream more in the coming days, for sure. Don’t worry. I am not creating more pies. I will definitely stream more, and why? Because I still want to have the honor of receiving Weibo’s “2024 Livestream King” award. I need it, so don’t worry. For my career, I will stream more. To me, the Weibo Livestream King award is truly precious.

C: Is the album finished? LYN: When I went to Beijing this time, I recorded one. Now I’m just missing a couple more. /laughs/ Why am I always missing some?? Songs are just so hard to find! I’m not a songwriter, so it’s hard for me to come across a song that I like. It’s not because I have high standards! High or low doesn’t matter, what matters is that I have to like the song. I have to like it, or there has to be something about it that speaks to me. If I can’t find something that I think works, then I don’t see a need to release the song. It’s rare for me to release an album, so at the very least I want to release songs that I like on it. I don’t care if the songs are popular or not- that’s not my priority. I just want to like the songs, and think they sound nice. That’s all I want. But there’s always something… LYN: The other day I picked a song that I liked. When you listen to it, it makes you happy. C: You were missing two the last time. LYN: Yeah, I’m still missing two now. I chose another song the other day and the lyrics are being written for it, since the original demo was in English.

C: I’ve liked you for 155 days now. If you don’t “flip” (respond) to me… LYN: /unbothered/ What are you going to do about it? What if I don’t respond to you?

LYN: Everyone, you’ve been watching The Legend of Shen Li, right? The song I played earlier, too, is from Sword and Fairy 1 (YJXY) which is another drama that’s been airing lately. If you have time you can watch the drama. It’s from Sword and Fairy/Chinese Paladin, which I really like. I used to play the game when I was younger; I play it now, too. Sword and Fairy 1 through 7. I’ve played it all. When you have time you can check out YJXY as well as YFX. It’s a drama worth watching, for sure. When they were still shooting, I even went to visit the set. LYN: I went to visit friends, but it was a nice opportunity for me to check out the set. Mainly I was there to chat with the director (Deng Ke). While we were chatting he played a bit of the drama for me and I thought it was really good. So friends, if you don’t have any dramas to watch, you can check out YFX.

C: So were you there to see ZLY, or the director? LYN: Originally- I was originally there... to see ZLY. Because we’d long made plans for me to go see her, since we’re all in Hengdian. It’s not actually a whole big ordeal to go visit other sets like you might be thinking. There’s not a lot of preparation involved. We’re really just wandering around. If you have some time, you just go visit. We’re “visiting the set” in name, but honestly we’re just there to be an onlooker. There’s not much of an etiquette to it, like buying milk tea or some beverages for the crew. Honestly, it’s not as if they’re not hurting for a drink. You’re really just wandering around. “Visitng the set” is making it sound bigger than it is. We’re just sticking our heads through the door and taking a look around, really. C: So you went to see the director? LYN: No, I’d met the director already. I don’t remember if I told you this already or not? When YFX was shooting ZLY had recommended me for a role in it. Since she did that, I had met with Director Deng Ke in Beijing long before. They were having a meal and she asked me if I was available to stop by. So I’d met the director before. So visiting the set of YFX this time also counts as seeing friends. We also talked a little about the next project that was lined up (ZY).

LYN: Later, when I was shooting the drama with him- because we have a few directors, right?- and one of them is Director Wang, who is female. When there was a more emotional scene that I needed to shoot, she took the one of the kiss scenes in YFX to show me. Like, “Look how good this is.” It was teaching material, and she wanted me to learn from it. So I watched it and thought it was quite nice, and yes, I should learn something from it.

C: Lao-da, don’t watch! You’ll learn bad things. LYN: You must be crazy. For example, if we’re watching a drama and there’s a kiss scene in it, you’d tell me not to watch it because it would make me learn bad things? That’s like something your mother told you when you were little and now you’re telling it to me. When you were little, did you sit between your mom and dad on the sofa watching a movie, and then when the leads started kissing your mother told you, “Don’t look. You’ll learn bad things.’? Kiss scenes on television are like this, friends. Those 18 years and older can watch. If you’re not an adult yet, you shouldn’t watch because you might actually learn bad things. Okay? If you’re over 18 you can start watching normally.

C: Lao-da, are you entering a new crew? LYN: Yeah, I have to shoot more dramas. So I’ll be joining a new crew soon. Well, actually I count as already having joined it, since I’ve started training.

C: Lao-da, can you see me? I’m going to test for my MD! LYN: You’re going to be a doctor? Jiayou. That’s amazing. Do well.

C: Did you buy the cup at Disney? LYN: I didn’t buy it. I was just looking, and didn’t buy anything. I bought Daimi a small hat for pets, though. Other than that, I didn’t buy anything. I go to Disney once every year, to walk and look around. It’s alright. Because I don’t go on many of the rides at all. The main reason I go is to take some photos and relax.

---------- break #1 (the neighbors are fighting)

LYN: It was a misunderstanding. They weren’t fighting, but watching YFX. The sound of the tv was turned on a little too high. It just so happened that they were sparring in YFX. So, I... misunderstood. It was all just a misunderstanding.

C: Have you even watched it?? LYN: Uh… Um… I have.

C: Lao-da, sing a song! LYN: /clicks his tongue/ You really want to hear my music so much? There are a lot of people who like to watch my dramas and my streams, but other than them there are still a group of music fans. This group of music fans are now looking forward to whether I will sing a little something for them. LYN: Let’s do it! What should I sing? How about… 这世界有那么多人 (Empty World)? I really like this song because it has a sort of… light, like I’m talking to you feeling. Like I’m trying to tell you something. But exactly what, is not important. LYN: /setting up/ /sigh/ Oop. My stomach gurgled. LYN: As soon as the first notes sound, it really feels like a story. Let’s listen. LYN: /singing goofily/ Oh, my stomach gurgled again. I should drink more water. We’ll be starting to shoot soon, so I’m not eating much while time allows. That’s better than getting taken a picture of by paparazzi and then having a bunch of ugly pictures floating around. I already don’t look great, I don’t need to add looking chubby on top of that. LYN: Let me find a special effect… This dazed one. LYN: /testing the mic/ IS ANYONE THERE? SOMEONE COME QUICK, SAVE ME! IS ANYONE THERE?? -- 这世界有那么多人 (Empty World)

C: Lao-da, you were a born singer. LYN: :) Thank you. C: So skillful! LYN: You don’t need to make a forced compliment. LYN: That’s really not necessary.

C: Why don’t you make your own songs? LYN: There are certain people for certain things, and I am not that type of creative. If you ask me whether I’ve written songs before, I definitely have. But they were really crude. I didn’t even like listening or singing them myself. They weren’t meaningful. So now I- I don’t try to write for myself anymore. I don’t feel like there’s a need to.

C: Tang Ren (唐人) is getting popular now. LYN: That’s because the song is good. It has nothing to do with me. I’ve covered it once during my stream, and maybe lately someone’s heard it again? But the original singer and song itself is already very good. I only just used my own way to express the song. Of course I’m not better than the original.

LYN: I had a plan, which was to make another album right after I release my next one. It seems like another pie in the sky, but that’s what I was thinking at least. After I finish making my second album I want to make a cover album. Find some songs that I like and cover them. When the time comes I’ll think about some nice songs or songs that I like or have covered before and properly rearrange and record them. To make an album of cover songs.

LYN: I used to be against covers, because in the early days when I had just debuted people only knew me as “internet famous.” People still do now, of course, but that’s not important. The problem was that people would say, “As a singer, how could you not have any of your own songs? You merely relied on covering other people’s songs to get famous.” But it was true. I had been discovered because of my cover of 讲真的 (Tell the Truth). I relied a lot on covering songs, and didn’t have any of my own. At that time I made a plan and started to avoid covers, started learning to try to make my own songs, including having OSTs and my own album. People nowadays probably won’t say that covers are the only thing I can do. After five years of experience I’ve lost the “can only do covers” label and now, rather, I CAN do covers again.

----- magic & scriptwriting

C: Can you wish me success on my exams in your heart? LYN: You want me to pray for you, in my heart? I have to do it in my heart?? If I say it out loud, will it not come true? bgm: 求佛 (Pray to Buddha) LYN: Okay. It’s guaranteed.

C: Ning-ge, oh no! They’re going to say you’re doing magic on stream again. LYN: I know this joke! People say that I’m doing magic in my streams. /grabs the kazoobie/ This is my magic tool. I’m not trying to promote mysticism, but this is my magical instrument. People say that I’m doing magic in my streams. You think I’m just streaming but really I’m doing magic. I’m praying to Buddha. This is a magical instrument. /taps on the kazoobie/ LYN: Let me grab the- /tries to make a singing bowl out of the kazoobie and a mic but it doesn’t work/ Oops. I can’t make the sound, sorry. LYN: Outrageous. But since you have this strong of an imagination I think you could go become a scriptwriter. I’m not kidding. This industry is lacking in good scriptwriters. Your extraordinary thought just then proves that you have enough brain power for the job. I advise you- it doesn’t matter if you like me or not- to focus your efforts on being a scriptwriter. You can write a small story or something. You probably can’t do something big to start, but something small first. Write it in parts. For example, you already have the male lead outlined. He’s a big boy who’s 1.89m tall. He likes to stream and interact with his friends. But actually, he’s a magician. It may look like he’s streaming, but in reality he’s doing magic. Through the eyes of the audience and with the help of his instruments, he can absorb power. But since he’s the male lead, of course he can’t be a villain. Maybe he gained something at the start, but he came to the realization that doing things in this way was working against nature. So he smashed his instrument and started cultivating the correct path. You can call this story “The Streamer’s Path to Immortal Cultivation.” LYN: One day he’s streaming and someone comes to bang on his door. He thinks that maybe he was too loud and it has disturbed his neighbors, but it turns out to be a girl who has come to borrow his bathroom. From the moment the door opens, we cue the close up on the girl, then the guy, and they look into each other’s eyes for three seconds and the fireworks start. In that moment, they fell in love. While practicing his magic he can easily turn demonic, but it turns out he fell in love with this girl and so begins their love story. LYN: You can focus your efforts on being a scriptwriter. Actually, they can make a lot of money. When you eventually turn into a big name, you can make a lot of money. Try writing something. Don’t waste your efforts on making small comments. It’s no use. God gave you the ability to create stories and spew nonsense- /laughs/- and so that’s the talent you were given. Everyone is born with a talent, and this is yours. Your ability to create stories and your strong imagination is your talent. Make use of it and turn it into your path to success. Good luck. C: In the end the girl comes in to use the restroom and he discovered that her shit stinks. LYN: … /sigh/. C: So that means that the girl came to the guy’s house and borrowed his restroom, then he discovered that it couldn’t be used for three days after she had left. LYN: Three days… Friends, you’re playing a little dirty. Did she shit on the ceiling or the walls?? How is that possible?? It’s not possible. She probably didn’t need to use the restroom to resolve whatever situation is going on with her stomach, but to reapply her makeup! How could you- After she’s done touching up she opens her purse and sprays some perfume. Then after the girl leaves the male lead walks into his restroom and discovers that it used to stink but now smells nice. LYN: You’re just… outrageous.

C: Ning-ge, I brought perfume. Let me in. LYN: If there really came a girl who wanted to borrow my restroom I would tell her two words: no entry. I’ll tell her my toilet’s backed up. Try someone else.

bgm: 晒Share - Da Zhangwei

C: I’m here to fix the restroom. Let me in. LYN: I won’t let you use it because it’s backed up, but it’s okay because you’ve come to fix it? Alright, then.

----- drama blood

LYN: Someone came to ask the same question I answered before, which is “What flavor is the blood packet when you’re shooting dramas?” LYN: What flavor…? Just sugar syrup. Sometimes it’s honey. It’s not a definite thing. In general, it’s sweet. LYN: How about this- next time I go shoot my drama I’ll go taste some for you. I’ll secretly take some blood syrup away with me and then raffle it off during one of my streams. I’ll consult with the makeup-laoshi, in a scene where I have to spit blood and ask them to pour me a small cup. I’ll keep it then raffle it off in my stream to let you try it out. Take a sip. Is that good?

C: After you mail it, it would have changed in taste. LYN: No, it won’t. Because this blood is prepared in advance, too. Maybe a month in advance. They don’t make it as you need it, and it’s not like going to a restaurant and asking them to fry you up some blood syrup. They don’t mix it up right there for you, just so you can spit it back out. It’s not like that. It’s made way in advance. It wouldn’t even matter if it were expired. Not that it would be.

C: Have you drunk any before? LYN: Yes, but not on purpose. When you’re shooting dramas it doesn’t matter if you’re a master martial artist or not a master at all, you’re going to spit blood eventually. Usually- this is a common trope- the male lead spits blood so that the audience can feel sorry for him. Right? The male lead is all about the “pretty”, “strong”, but “miserable.” “Pretty” because the lead’s got to look good. “Strong” because their skills are very high. The best thing is if they’re not only good-looking and strong, but they can’t not have faults. That would be boring. So they must be “miserable” and how that’s achieved is usually by poison. You can go think about all the “pretty”, “strong”, and “miserable” male leads. They’re good-looking, have incomparable fighting prowess, but they always have a weakness or an incurable disease. They either won’t live for much longer, are incurable, or they’re poisoned but all in all they have to die eventually. During this process, they also need to be tortured by someone: hit until they spit blood, or are captured and strung up while being whipped. Those types of characters will make the audience feel for them. In these scenarios it is inevitable that you’d need to spit blood. LYN: One time I had to and I took some of the blood into my mouth and was holding it there. The director goes, “3, 2, 1!” and then /spits/. You spit it. But then there was still some more in my mouth and I’ve have to spit it out. Usually in these scenes after you spit the blood someone comes to hold you up, and they ask, “Are you alright?” That’s the normal reaction. Normally at this time I would say, “I’m ok. You leave first!” It usually follows this logic, right? But that day after I spit I realized I still had half a mouthful and I couldn’t spit AGAIN. Not like when you’re brushing your teeth and you gargle and spit twice. Spitting twice is the habit. But with blood, spitting twice would be: /blood spray/ - /ptooey/. It will make the audience jump out of the story. /demonstrates/ But that day after the first spit I realized I had more in my mouth! So the other person came to ask me if I was okay, and I: /swallows the blood/ “I’m ok.” I had to swallow it. It was so cloying.

C: Is it safe to swallow? LYN: It’s fine. Just some food dye. It’s edible. But there are two types of blood syrup, too. The type you swallow is usually prepared by the makeup-laoshi. They’ll prepare something better. But you can’t drink the blood from the props department. That’s usually detergent and coloring. Like the dish washing liquid you’d use to wash your plates. The props blood is used to pour on the floor. In a guzhuang drama when someones been killed- /mimes cutting his neck/- they’ll be on the floor and there’s a pool of blood under them. That blood is usually detergent because it has the consistency. C: No bubbles? LYN: As long as you don’t mix it with water, there aren’t bubbles. Without water, it’s fine. With water there’s a chemical reaction. You can’t drink that one, of course. You’d be poisoned if you did. C: If you drink it would you spit bubbles.

LYN: It’d be best not to. You can’t drink that one. It’s for the floor. C: What about rain scenes? LYN: You mean if the floor is covered in blood and it starts raining? /thinking/ Hey, I didn’t really think of that before! I’ll ask next time. It’s possible that the method I’ve told you about is only one of many. Next time I’ll ask the props-laoshi, “For the blood syrup, other than using detergent, what else can you make it with?” I’ll report back to you in the next stream. LYN: /laughs/ The bad guy dies and they’re lying in a pool of blood when suddenly rain starts to pour and now there are bubbles. It’s like taking a bubble bath.

-----

C: Are you still going to Disney in June? LYN: Are you asking me that because you’re going to be there? You want to “accidentally” meet me in June, is that it? But not, I won’t be going. By June I’ll be shooting my drama. I’ll be in the new crew already.

C: Can you chat about Zi Chuan? LYN: I can! Why can’t we? We can talk about it.

LYN: I shot Zi Chuan a long time ago and… at that time- even though my acting is still pretty bad now- at that time it was a little more lacking. But I think that I’ve learned something with every drama that I’ve acted in. Zi Chuan let me act as… someone who is cruel. It made me think about how to maintain that cruelty, and what I needed to reinforce that character. I feel like every one of my roles was made to prepare me for the ones that come after. Each one of my characters has the shadow or feeling of a previous role I’ve played. The role of Di Lin helped and made me think more about how to play a character who is more dignified. It helped me to know the state of a character in an authoritative role. Even though there are differences between characters, I know which part I should keep a grasp of. LYN: When I look back I Di Lin I know that there are many parts where I was lacking. But it’s okay. Of course, I have to thank every role that I’ve had because all have allowed me to mature. If you look back from my very first drama until now you will see that there was growth with every passing drama. I’m thankful for all my roles.

C: Does Di Lin stay alive in part 2? LYN: There’s an original novel for ZC. In the story, he probably (definitely)… dies. But we’ve only shot 48 episodes and it’s only the first half. Di Lin doesn’t really have many scenes. The producers were very good, and gave me the second male lead role. It’s 2ML in name, but the scene count is very low, comparatively. In 48 episodes I only have around 200 scenes. My main scenes would be in the second half, but we didn’t film that. The main bulk of this character’s story and his highlights are in the second half of the story, which we didn’t shoot. In the latter 24 episodes- since the first 24 are already out- I don’t die. I can tell you that. But we haven’t even been called for voiceover yet, so it might air next year.

C: Ning-ge, “flip” me and I’ll go transcribe: Ning Yuanzhou [....].. LYN: You don’t need to transcribe anything. If you want to practice your writing, you can just do it. You don’t have to use me as an excuse. Practicing your writing is a good thing!

LYN: Hold on, I drank too much water and I need to use the restroom. Wait for me a sec.

---------- break #2

bgm: 내 마음 들리나요 (Can You Hear My Heart) - Epik High ft. Lee Hi, Moon Lovers OST bgm: 向死而生 (Live to Die) - Burning Flames OST

LYN: This song is from the drama Burning Flames, which is Wu Geng Ji (Journey of Wu Geng), but after the name change. This song is one of the ones this year- including the ones I’ve recorded but haven’t been released yet- that is in the Top 5. Not ranked #5, but in my Top 5. Of course, the previous two I mentioned (for YJXY & YFX) are also in the Top 5. LYN: /to himself/ Why did I have to rank them…? LYN: The other two songs are also definitely in the Top 5, plus this one. These three songs, together. No- that doesn’t work because there was something before these… IN ANY CASE! This insert song from BF is called “Live to Die” and I really like it. There’s no problem with me saying that, right?

C: I want to hear the Top 2. LYN: This one is part of the Top 2. LYN: When I was recording it, I felt like it would send me (to death). I was so tired. But later when the track was released I really enjoyed it. The difficult thing about this song was: /sings the line/. That one lungful was hard. I can try to sing it, but I haven’t eaten much today and I don’t know if I have the strength to pull it off. Let me try. C: I want to hear the Top 1 song. LYN: Shut up! Why are you everywhere.

- /warming up/ LYN: Let me adjust the settings. /turns on the ~radio~ filter/ ~To my listeners in front of the radio today, good evening.~ Let’s use this effect and see if it can add any ~flavor~. C: Hurry and sing! I’m looking forward to it! LYN: Now you’re giving me pressure. I didn’t have any before, but now that I know you’re looking forward to it I do. -- 向死而生 (Live to Die) - /cracks at the difficult line/

LYN: Was there a problem with the mic, just now? Let me test it again. I think there was a problem with it just then. It’s okay. Let me start again. -- /continues/ & /finishes the verse/

LYN: I kind of... don’t have enough strength for this. I don’t have enough stamina (底气, di qi). How about I sing this for you next time? I feel like I can’t get enough air and I’m gonna pass out. In this case, let’s respect the original singer and listen to them sing it. I can’t surpass the original, today. - /downs some soda/ LYN: I don’t have enough qi (气), so I’m giving myself more (in the form of CO2 bubbles).

C: It’s okay, just don’t air the part where you cracked. LYN: My streams always have playback. So, the part where the mic broke a little bit- even though it has nothing to do with me! It was a problem with the mic- I’m sure that part will become hate material against me.

-----

C: Ning-ge, are there any tricks to losing weight? LYN: Are there any tricks? I’m not an expert at losing weight, but the way I do it is rationing. Your life, your work, your exercise will all exhaust your body’s energy. It’s like spending money. No- I shouldn’t say that. Let’s say your body has 1000 power. If you exhaust 1200 power every day, then you will naturally become thinner. Let’s say for example that you don’t move- you don’t exercise and you don’t go anywhere. You’re just sitting or lying there. Then you should eat less. If your intake is low, then you won’t get fat. But if you exercise daily, you can consume your normal amount of food. You’ll just need to exercise enough that you don’t consume more than you burn and you’ll start to lose weight. Another thing to do is eat less sugar, and that will help to reduce weight. That’s what I do. LYN: For example if I’ve expended a lot of energy today- if I went to practice wushu, then I can eat like normal. But normally I don’t really like to move, so I will eat less. C: What happens if you get low blood sugar? LYN: It shouldn’t happen. If you’re exercising you could eat normally. Even if you’re not excessively exercising you shouldn’t normally experience low blood sugar. Maybe if you expend too much, you would have low blood sugar? I don’t know. Just: if I’m not moving, I eat less; if I move, then I’ll eat normally.

LYN: My hair- I wanted to go for the wet-hair look but I realize that once it’s dried it looks bad. - /messing up his hair/ LYN: Okay, that’s good enough.

C: What about if you can’t control your mouth? LYN: I don’t know, because I can’t do it either. I always get hungry in the middle of the night and I don’t know why. It’s always the middle of the night. I get hungry and I can’t take it so I always have to eat a little something.

C: How do I become more pale? LYN: Wear proper sunscreen. And… use skin brightening products. That’s the only two things. Use some skin brightening products before you sleep and… supplement your vitamin c or something.

C: Ning-ge, how do I grow shorter? LYN: …??? How do you grow shorter??? Everyone wants to grow tall, why do you want to grow short? That’s bold of you. LYN: To make yourself shorter… I don’t know your age, but… if you want to grow shorter during puberty you should do strength training. Work out and do some heavy-lifting so that your muscles become stronger and wrap around/protect your bones more. It’ll help you to grow slower. Secondly, after you increase your bone density you might also grow more slowly. Look at martial artists and weightlifters- they have high bone density and it’s slowed/impeded their growth in height. At least that’s what I think. C: Then why didn’t you train? LYN: I wanted to grow tall. LYN: A lot of my old fans know this but my mom’s younger brother(s)- so my uncle(s)- I had two uncles, who were pretty short. When I was little my grandma would tell me, “Don’t grow to be like your uncles.” Of course, I am not saying this to diss my uncles at all. But my grandma would always tell me not to grow to their height. Then before we knew it, I was this tall. I would tell my grandma, “Don’t worry. I’ll grow super tall. I’ll be 2.3m tall and I’ll live (?) in the zoo. I’ll be locked in a cage and when people come to see me like watching a monkey, I can even collect viewing fees from them.” When I was really little I liked to tell my grandma that. LYN: Who would have thought that the 2.3m tall part didn’t come true, but the “watch me and collect fees” part seems to have at least partial success. For example, I collect fees for you to watch me in concert.

C: Ning-ge, will you still have a concert this year then? LYN: I’m not sure. There could be, and there could not. I’ll tell you now- if I’m not able to hold it this year then it will be at the beginning of next year. I was in discussions about this the other day, too. But it’s not determined.

C: Ning-ge, how do I get bigger eyes? LYN: … LYN: Don’t provoke me. You’re asking ME how to get bigger eyes?? It’s like going to get treatment for baldness and the doctor has less hair than you. How do you get bigger eyes?? Go get double-eyelid surgery! Your eyes will become a little bigger. Technology hsa improved so much, I’m sure it can help you. The second thing is when you’re taking photos, turn on the beauty filters. Turn the “big eyes” feature on a little higher.

C: Is this LYN’s stream? LYN: It is I. You’re not in the wrong place. Liu Yuning is streaming right now, and Liu Yuning is me. I am streaming. Do you feel like I don’t look like him?

C: I don’t believe I actually made it to a live one. LYN: What’s not to believe?? I’m not some big celebrity. It’s not difficult for us to meet. That’s a nonexistent problem. We can meet any time. It could be hard to meet with other artists, but if you want to see me you an just come to my weibo and leave a message saying, “LYN, I want to see you.” I’ll come and stream. I’m that easy. C: Give us a welcome. LYN: I’d like to welcome all my good friends to my stream tonight. If this is your first time watching and you have not already, please subscribe to my weibo. Thank you! C: Liar. I’ve waited for you for 45 days. LYN: I was working! When I was shooting dramas before, I could stream on days where I had less scenes to shoot. But now I’m accepting roles with more scenes so there are times where after a day of shooting I’m not in the right state to stream. I have to remember the script and rest up for the next day. I have to make sure I can continue to film. So… please understand. C: You don’t stream even on wrap day. LYN: On wrap day I still had work to do. Because during filming there weren’t many days I could take off, so on wrap day I took care of a bunch of miscellaneous tasks left over. Also, I’m not a robot who can work all the time, I need to rest too. Continuous filming gives me too much pressure. I’m stressed when shooting the drama, and there are all these outside pressures… can’t you let me rest a little? I’m not a robot, even though I don’t rest much regularly anyway.

C: Can you talk about The Truth? LYN: I can, but what do you want me to say? It’s fun and a good time. I got to know some new friends, too. Well- I guess they’re not considered “new”. We’ve all met before… except Zhang Linghe. This will count as our first meeting, I guess. First ~official~ meeting. I’d bumped into him before, but we never greeted each other. We got to know each other this time. Xun-ge, we had done a variety show together before. Wang Xun. Bai Yu, we shot the previous season together so we’re quite close. That counts for Zhou Keyu, too. And Reba… this is our third partnership now. CGX, ALZ, and now this variety show. C: Is ZLH handsome? LYN: He is, very handsome. Very good-looking. When I see these young kids I get jealous. Not only are they good-looking and tall, but the key factor is that they’re also still young. If he can reach this level at his age, then his future is unlimited. Right? That goes for Keyu, too. Anyway, he’s handsome. They all are.

bgm: Truthfully - A1 TRIP/Dobi

C: Is LYN handsome? LYN: Me? Of course, I am just average. Just average. LYN: I know that there are a lot of you fans out there, and in your eyes I’m the best. It’s like looking at your own child. Some parents know that they have really ugly children but still consider them as their treasure nevertheless. You see me in the same way. When you’re looking at me it’s like looking at your kid. You think anything I do is good.

LYN: I learned of a term the other day, “ru zhui”? A “ru zhui” fan. The “ru” in “insult/humiliate” (wu ru, 侮辱) and the “zhui” for “chase” (追). 辱追fan. I was confused- what does that mean??? So I went to take a lesson, since I’m curious about these new terms. I didn’t understand, but I think I know approximately what it means. That is: using an insulting way to pursue their idol. I think that’s what it means? I’m not sure if I’m interpreting that correctly. But what it means is to describe, for example, how a person is your fan but they just scold you all the time. EX: “LYN, how shameless can you be? Look at how fat you are! And you think you can be an artist?? Shameless! As a fan I find you disgracing. Look at your business capability. Look at your lines. What are other people doing, and what are you?? You’re not even streaming like you COULD be.” LYN: People like that. “I’ve followed you for five years, and you show no signs of improvement?!?” Fans who employ this method of “Humiliating Pursuit”. Are they really fans? Yes. But I don’t have a lot of those types, here. You can’t say I don’t have any, I still do. Just the one or two. But I hope that you aren’t this way. There’s no need. If you really think that I’m not good enough, then please forget me. If I were to self-describe me, I would say that I am very easily hated on. There are always people who- I’m not trying to say I’m so amazing, I’m not, but there are a lot of people who want to magnify my unexceptionalities and use them to undermine me or get a quick laugh out of it. It doesn’t matter. The problem is that there are already a group of people who truly hate me, so I don’t need my own fans doing it too. LYN: We practice a supportive way of chasing stars, here. You can say, “LYN, you’re the best!” Okay? Thank you, everyone. Otherwise one day I’ll be looked down upon and try to retreat into my fandom space to regain some positive energy, but instead discover that I have fans yelling at me in this space, too. I would have a total mental breakdown. C: That’s called a “gu zhui” fan. (gu as in “to encourage’ 鼓励) LYN: An “Encouraging Pursuit”-type fan? Ah. Okay, then.

LYN: I’m doing well for now because relatively speaking- even though I haven’t streamed much lately- I often stream and chat with you. I can see all the comments you type into the chat and this way I can respond to your encouragements and requests in a timely fashion. It’s instant feedback, which is good. We communicate. If there’s ever something I wish you wouldn’t do, I can tell you directly. If there’s something you want me to work harder on, you can also type it into the chat and tell me.

C: Ning-ge, don’t lose weight. You’re already very skinny. LYN: Don’t PUA* me. I’m someone who clearly knows what he should and should not be doing. I should lose some. Because you can relax now, but when the drama airs and you’re being dogpiled- excuse me, I should mind my words. When you’re being “told the truth”, you’re going to regret it. So I’d like to be a little thinner, to look a little more lively, which is better than looking fat. The part I lose out on is that my eyes are on the small side. Since they’re so small, my face looks bigger and it LOOKS like I’m fat but in reality I’m not really, since I have the height. The problem is they can’t always take full-body shots. When you’re shooting the overall height, it looks fine. You don’t look like you have a big face or are fat. But as soon as they’re taking half-body or close-up shots- because you only have one face, and people can’t see your whole proportions. I know I don’t look elegant or refined. So… at least I try. I need to be thinner so I look more polished. *mentally control someone and make them lose self-confidence

C: Di Lin was pretty chubby. LYN: When I was playing Di Lin... honestly another part of it is that I learned that acting really requires experience. All sorts of experience. Because I didn’t attend a professional school for acting- I didn’t learn how to sing, either- but for a lot of things there’s a right way to do it: learn by experience. When you do one thing ten thousand times, it’s going to have results. After shooting so many dramas now, I’ve definitely made some… improvements. I feel like I’ve understood something about acting as I was doing it. There’s no good way to give it form or describe it, so I can’t tell you that much about it. I don’t even want to trying sharing what I think about it because people would think I’m being fake. So I won’t share with you what I’ve understood. LYN: At the time I was acting as Di Lin, I truly didn’t understand how to act. But during the filming process, you start to understand. First off- wardrobe, makeup, and props- you start to get a better of understanding of what is “good” and what is not “good.” Or, what was there to fool you and what shows sincerity. The wigs, too, that you have on for guzhuang dramas. You learn what style suits you, and in what way it’s combed that suits your face. How high or low to apply the wig, whether to have sideburns or not and are they short or long?, how long or short is the length of the hair in the back?, where exactly should it be tied- up higher? or more back? All of these are things you’ll learn while you film and gain more experience. You’ll start to know what looks good on you, or what feels/looks more comfortable.

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C: Director Ke is here. LYN: We all call him Director Deng. Or Director Deng Ke. You call him Director Ke?? Do you use it to describe the fact that you can “ke” (get addicted to) the dramas he’s shot? LYN: Welcome, Director! LYN: /laughs/ Some of you really know how to pander to someone. At least we know how decency. Usually when a director comes you would: 1. welcome them and 2. acknowledge their works. I’m seeing people spam: “YXF is awesome!!” Let’s maintain this tradition. Whenever a director comes to my stream you all should start looking up which dramas they’ve made, then start complimenting them on which of them you’ve watched. LYN: This is pure “ways of the people and the world.” Usually when I’m working with someone or I’ve met someone who I don’t really know, I’ll go online and do some homework beforehand. For example, if I’m meeting with an actor tomorrow, I’ll look up which dramas they’ve been in. If I’m shooting a variety show with them I’ll look at what they’ve been in and what the general consensus was. I can say, “I’ve been watching your drama lately! Your acting is great!” or “I saw the one you were in three years ago, too. I know the reviews weren’t the best but I thought you acted well. You were so handsome!” But in actuality I really… haven’t watched their dramas at all. If you want to be friends with someone you have to do some homework.

bgm: 夜泊秦淮 (Ye Po Qin Huai) - Ice Paper

LYN: Director Deng hasn’t typed anything, has he?? My comments are moving a little too quickly today so I can’t see very clearly. Director Deng, if you have something to tell me, message me on WeChat. If you don’t have anything to say and you’re just passing through then nevermind!

LYN: I’ve already finished promoting YFX, even though I know it doesn’t need my help. I just said in passing, if you had time, that you could go watch YFX. Of course, I- Oh, he left? Ok, then. He was probably just passing through and saw that I was streaming, so he came to take a look. We were in brief contact when I went to Beijing too. C: YFX is a really good watch! LYN: He’s already left. You’re too late. You have to remember this for next time, you’ve got to spam it immediately after you realize they’re in the stream. If its a director or a producer, you’d want to leave a good impression of LYN’s fans on them. That way if they have work they might think of me. It’s difficult to survive in any industry- whether that’s in a company, in entertainment, or in any environment- so you really have to learn these things.

LYN: I know a lot of people comment about me, saying that I know a lot about ways of the people and the world, but I honestly don’t know much, and I actually kind of hate it. When I was younger I really hated this type of thing. I didn’t think it would ever be worth it to learn or that I would ever need it. Or if I go somewhere and meet someone who is better than me, I would never try to talk to them. If they don’t talk to me, I would never acknowledge their existence. I didn’t ever think there was a need. So they’re amazing. What did that have to do with me? I used to think that way, and assumed that would make me have a personality. “I”m just this type of person. If you’re willing to communicate with me, you can. If you don’t want to, then we will never become friends.” That’s the type of identity I was pursuing at first. - [t/n: I, too, hate schmoozing and networking.]

LYN: But as your life continues you’ll discover that if you DO know these skills, your life will be a little smoother. I don’t know if you’ll know, but when you were in school did you have that one student who- I’m not sure if this is the right way to describe them- are really… “tian bai”? They brown-nose the teacher. It’s like… ingratiating or self-deprecating oneself. For example, “Teacher, the clothes you’re wearing today are so pretty!” “We love taking your classes!” Kind of like excessive flattery. The people who know how to do this all tend to do well among peers. Many of you might be in school now so you don’t know, but at work it’s the same. I don’t want you to make yourself lesser than, but it would let you develop better. Who doesn’t like to hear nice things, right? For example, you meet up with a friend and you tell them, “You’ve gotten prettier!” or “You’ve gotten thinner!” If they’re someone who is conflicted about their own body, by telling them “You look thinner” or “You look to be in good spirits”- something like that won’t really affect your character or anything- you can give them warmth and receive warmth in return. I just feel like you can/should learn to do these things, in order to allow your path or survival to go a little smoother. Everyone likes to hear praise; we’re all the same. LYN: We’re not doing it hypocritically/facetiously. I just think it’s worth trying, to change yourself and to give others compassion, or make them laugh, or give them support. By doing these things you can become a positive person in return.

LYN: Sometimes people will ask me, “Ning-ge, I have social anxiety. What should I do? I hate interacting with other people.” I’m not trying to compare, but I have social anxiety, too! I really disklike having to interact with people. But this is something that you need to force yourself to do. That way you’ll gain opportunities, or a better future, or whatever is it that you want. If the desire for what you want is greater than your fear of interaction, then you’ll do it. If you don’t think it’s worth it, then you can stay socially anxious. That’s fine, too. LYN: You’re born with many things, but you can also learn them with practice and effort. My diction used to be really terrible. Due to how I grew up, I didn’t like communicating with people and I was closed off. I wasn’t confident, and was cowardly. I never fought anyone for anything. My home conditions weren’t the greatest, either. As a result I was timid- no matter what I did. Now you might think that I’m really boisterous but it’s all because I trained myself to be this way. I forced myself. C: Try it first. LYN: Absolutely right. First try to communicate with people. When you receive a good reaction in response, you’re going to gain more confidence. The reason why I don’t need to force it when I’m streaming is because there’s no one in front of me. I know you’re all brandishing your phones and writing to me, you’re watching me, but none of you are IN FRONT of me. I’ll pretend- I’ll pretend that you are. I’m not imagining you as a field of cabbage, either. I imagine you as people. But these people are 1. All here for me and 2. My friends. When you’re in front of friends you won’t feel out of place. Maybe there are a lot of passersby or antis watching, waiting for me to slip up so that they can take it out of context and ridicule me. Those people exist, too. But the reason I’m so relaxed right now is because I pretend. Even if you are an anti, I pretend that you are someone who likes me. Or even if you don’t like me, at the least you don’t hate me. So that’s why I’m relaxed when streaming.

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C: My mom says you talk a lot. LYN: With a stream, I have to force myself to keep talking. Not CONSTANTLY, but the worst thing for a livestream is if it goes cold. It’s alright if there are pauses but as long as the mood doesn’t fall flat, it’s okay. If there is a lull in conversation, you should use the next topic to smooth it over. That’s how you make a stream feel compact. It’s a little like acting. You have to understand the rhythm. A stream has rhythm, and your speech has rhythm. If I haven’t thought through what I’m about to say, I’ll save it. But then I have to figure out how to bring up the topic without disrupting the flow. It’s not because I talk a lot- I talk very little, actually. But I’m always talking in the stream because I don’t want it to fall flat. I need to grab your attention so that you stay focused on the stream.

C: How about sing a gentle song? LYN: I saw someone earlier say, “Are you going to sing or not? You’ve talked enough.” Um... if you don’t like to watch, then get out. I’m talking to you. /points at the camera/ If you don’t like what you see then get out. (joking!)

LYN: I’ll sing something. :) LYN: What should I sing? Something gentle? I don’t have much energy, since I didn’t eat much today. Let’s find something gentle… C: Tang Ren (唐人). LYN: I can’t sing it because…befrore, my band- Da Fei and A-Zhuo- were here and could play the arrangement for me. - /finds an instrumental track/ LYN: I don’t know if I can do it, but I’ll give it a try. // I’ve forgotten how to sing it, but you can listen for fun! -- Tang Ren (唐人) C: It lagged. For real, this time. LYN: What are you talking about?? This time was “for real”, so you mean that the last time was fake? What do you mean??? I guess it lagged a little? It’s alright. It’s normal, for something like the internet. It can be a little unstable. C: It really lagged. LYN: But it’s fine, now!! Stop spamming. It’s fine.

C: You came to stream again. LYN: Yeah. I was already planning to, but in addition to that my fans are all over the platforms shouting for me. So I had to stream. If I hadn’t the pot would have exploded. My fans would become “humiliating pursuit” fans. C: We wouldn’t! // No way. LYN: I know. I was joking with you.

C: When will the Disney VLOG be released? LYN: It needs to be edited! No rush.

bgm: 奉上 (Offer) - A Journey to Love OST LYN: Someone told me to play “Offer” so I am.

C: Do you know how hard these past 45 days were? LYN: That’s okay, isn’t it? I’ve- C: We were going to ignore you for five minutes. LYN: I saw that. There was a screenshot that said, “The next time Ning-ge streams, let’s ignore him. We won’t talk to him for five minutes and make him believe that the stream has lagged. Make him believe it’s lagged so he spends the time trying to fix his equipment, only to find out that we were fooling him.” Someone thought of this method to get revenge on me! LYN: You know, if you did that I would have thought that my internet was broken and I’d have stopped streaming. I know that’s not a threat to you. It was a good sentiment but if you really think about it, I don’t think you would have been able to control the situation given that there are so many people here.

C: I thought I’d have to go 100 days without seeing you. LYN: No way. I know I’ve gone quite a while without streaming this time but it’s because I had a lot to do. I had to make sure I was in the right condition, because the next drama is giving me a lot of pressure. I need to prepare myself for going into the new crew. I can’t just jump from one to the next because I’d feel worn out. So I had to quickly adjust my condition, as I’m guessing I’ll have a tough time in the next one. Not that I’m afraid of the hard work. I just think that the next one will be difficult to shoot. I want to be in top condition for it.

C: It’s lagging. LYN: If you’re really lagging then leave the stream and come back in. That should fix it. But if you leave, you have to remember to come back! Don’t just leave and then go to sleep or go to bed then pass out.

C: Will it be more work than YNGS? LYN: …. Let me think about how to answer this. As an actor, what’s the big deal if you end up tired and crying a little? What do you have to complain about?? Shouldn’t you be tired, after receiving all the spotlight? What’s wrong with being a little tired? What right do you have to complain that you are? It’s “hard work”? Who doesn’t work hard! Think about all the delivery people who are out on the streets right now. Who doesn’t have hard work? It’s hard on them, too! Some of them are out there in the middle of the night! You’re already very fortunate. What right do you have to complain? LYN: It won’t be hard work, friends. The next drama won’t be hard at all. Also… /never finishes the thought/

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C: Ning-ge, did you deliver that from an anti’s point of view? LYN: No, no. LYN: Sometimes when people interview me they’ll ask, “How do you feel when you see people online being negative towards you?” I always get asked this type of question in interviews. “If you see that no one likes the character you’ve played, how do you feel?” I see those questions often. It’s like this… um… let me first respond with the most standard answer. The best answer to give, as an artist. LYN1: I saw the comments, yes. When I see that they don’t acknowledge me, I think it’s right for them to do so. LYN: The first thing to do is to assure the viewers. LYN1: People are right to critique me, as I am not a professional actor. I will always consider the concerns that they are voicing and I’ll take note of their advice so that I know that’s the direction I need to work harder in. LYN: The second thing is to acknowledge them, and the third is to imagine a better future. LYN1: In the future no matter what role I am challenging, I am sure that I will take it even more seriously than the previous role and I know that there are many places I am lacking- LYN: The fourth is to self-deprecate. LYN1: - and I have huge room for improvement. But being able to work with so many amazing teachers this time around, I have definitely been able to learn a lot from them. LYN: That’s number five: thank the people you’ve worked with. LYN1: Working together with all these amazing actors, I’m sure that there is a lot I can learn from them, and I’ll do my best to learn. I’m not certain I can successfully learn even 1% of what they know, but I’ll work hard. I’ll portray every character I meet in the future to the best of my ability. I hope people can continue to supervise me and I hope that one day you will see my growth. Thank you, everyone.

LYN: That’s the standard answer. USUALLY, it’s an answer that people can’t find a problem with. If you ask me if I know how to answer properly, I definitely do. I can even make it fancier. I can give you three more angles, to make it seem like I am humble, serious, and eager to learn. Someone who is self-disciplined and knows where they should work harder.

LYN: But I knew that was the common answer, so it’s not how I used to reply. Whenever I met with an interviewer, I wanted to give them a different answer. I would definitely reply from an angle they’ve never thought of. When I was asked a question I would think a mile a minute and come up with something they didn’t expect. I couldn’t let them think I was your average artist, otherwise they wouldn’t remember me. I needed to make them remember who I was within three questions. Make them think, “Hey. This Liu Yuning is different from other artists.” That’s the direction I was going in. I wanted the unexpected.

C: Then, what’s your real (truthful) response? LYN: … C: Let’s have a non-standard answer. LYN: The non-standard answer… you can go look up how I used to answer these questions, and that’s the non-standard reply.

C: I’m laughing to death. What are you doing all the time? LYN: :| I’m thinking. LYN: You need to learn. I really do learn from other talented artists, and how they speak. I’m not trying to imitate them, but this industry does have its standards/rules. C: Ning-ge, next time answer like this when someone asks you for a non-standard answer. You should say, “What business is it of yours??” LYN: /laughs/ It’s unwarranted. That would be okay if we were joking but you can’t expect me to seriously say “What’s business is it of yours??” For example, “LYN, how do you feel when you see people online making hateful comments about you?” Should I answer the reporter by saying, “What business is it of yours”?? Do you think I don’t want to survive in this industry anymore?? Of course, an answer like that could definitely make the reporter/program remember you. As the first such ill-mannered artist they’ve ever seen. LYN: Let’s say the reporter asks me, “LYN, please introduce your role so that we may remember you.” I could turn and walk away, saying “I’m not recording anymore.” I’m sure they would remember me, then. But that’s not something I can do.

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C: /commenting about what he’s drinking/ LYN: I’m drinking the sugarless one. It’s fine.

C: Take of your hat. It doesn’t look good. LYN: What business is it of yours?? LYN: Look at that, I used it immediately. :) LYN: What business is it of yours? Be happy you have something to look at. I already told you multiple times that I haven’t washed my hair.

C: I knew it. LYN: You knew I would respond that way?

bgm: 万物盛开法则 (The Law of Everything in Bloom) - Da Zhangwei bgm: 隆里电丝 (Lonely Dance) - DamnShine

C: You’re the best at talking back to fans. LYN: /sigh/ When I’m talking back at fans in my stream, you all know it’s as a joke. I’m more relaxed here, and you should all know that I don’t mean it in a malicious way.

C: /asking him about the rollercoaster at Disney/ LYN: I wasn’t afraid at all. I know that when people are playing fast-paced games they need to close their eyes, but I tell myself that I can’t close them. I need to keep my eyes wide open so I can experience all of the turns and the speed. Then I realized that the wind made my eyes hurt and I teared up instead. So during the process I had to keep my eyes open, but they were tearing up because of the wind, so I had to wipe away the tears too. It’s rare for me to ride it once, so I had to make the most of it. I didn’t want to miss anything that was speeding by so I kept my eyes open.

C: You really kept your eyes open? LYN: Forcefully. Riding while wiping my tears away. C: Good thing your eyes are small.

LYN: /sigh/ /going through all seven stages of grief/ LYN: Good thing my eyes are small, so the area that gets hit with the wind is relatively little, is that it? If my eyes were normal sized… I would shed even more tears, right? Ah… okay. /thumbs up/ Ok. LYN: /still sad about it/ LYN: Wait for me a sec, I’ll use the restroom. LYN: /under his breath/ qswl

LYN: Someone asked me if I would sing Long Yin. I won’t sing it, but I’ll play it instead. You can watch the video while I use the restroom.

---------- break #3

LYN: I went to the restroom and cried. Someone said my eyes are small and I’m actually really sad about it. I couldn’t hold it. Honestly, I didn’t go to use the restroom, but I went to cry a little. I got that out and adjusted my mental state so I can come back with a smile. I just couldn’t hold it anymore. These words are so hurtful. C: Your eyes are even smaller after you’ve cried. LYN: I’ve been cyberbullied. You all are so mean.

C: Is the background real? LYN: It’s real. LYN: Also, I’ve been attending a lot of small events lately, right? And I’ve been running into these- I think they must be new fans. Honestly the new fans and I haven’t really had a proper talk yet. There are a lot of new fans who probably haven’t even seen many of my streams. We have a small… rule, here. That is, if I attend some variety show or event- I stay at a hotel. Many of you like to squat at the hotel to block me. It’s like you’re planning to ambush me. A sneak attack! I don’t know why. It’s okay- that’s your freedom. If the hotel management is not going to do anything about you, I have no right to say anything. But the thing is- your cellphones. Please try not to shove them in my mouth. Okay? I get the feeling that when you’re trying to take pictures of me you’re almost shoving the thing straight into my mouth, as if to give me a laryngoscopy. Please try not to do that. Also, for those of you walking sideways- you’re about to shove it in my ear. Like you’re going to clean my earwax. I feel like you’re trying to record whether I have earwax or not. The phones are right here. /picks up his phone to demonstrate/ When I get on the car I have to think back- “When I was washing my face, did I get my ears?” I don’t want you to have got on video that I have earwax, like “Why are LYN’s ears so dirty?!?” Another thing is- because I’m pretty tall, so the height difference between me and most of you is relatively large. So when you’re getting video of me it’s from this angle- /under the chin, bottom-up/ That’s a super dead angle. You just record me like that. I feel like you’re trying to see if I have boogers. LYN: So I just want to say- when you’re taking photo/video of me, please try to maintain some distance. Okay? Maintain some distance. And also, please try to control your emotions. Don’t put the camera so close to me. It’s a little TOO close. It’s too close for my self-confidence. There are already a lot of ugly photos of me online. There are so many; and you’re still trying to create more?? Control yourselves, please.

LYN: I know that in your hearts when you look at me it’s like a tortoise seeing a mung bean- I suit your eyes- and you think that I am handsome or good-looking. I don’t blame you for that- it’s normal. But the thing is when you share photos online can you adjust the angle a little bit, please? Sometimes I see that photos that you share and I think, “This must be an anti.” You don’t even give me any nice filters and you upload a photo from such a bad angle? While praising me?? It’s like.. reverse marketing. How could you put that online?! Aren’t you just giving people (who hate him) more material to work with? LYN: I’m not like other people, who can be seen from 365° and have no dead angles. For me all 365° are ALL dead angles. I’m full of dead angles. Truly dead. So please try to pick some not-so-dead angles of me to upload. Okay?

C: How could you say I’m a tortoise? I’m no longer a fan. LYN: It’s an expression. Tortoise looking at a mung bean. You can choose to be the tortoise or the bean, it doesn’t matter. It’s just an expression. I’m not calling you an actual tortoise, but even it I were it wouldn’t matter. Because it would mean I wish you a long life. Thousand year old tortoise and hundred year old turtle.

C: Are there any benefits for new fans? LYN: Um… benefits for new fans?? /thinking/ Are there any benefits for new fans? LYN: … LYN: Let me think of how to answer this. - /starts rolling his eyes like the buffering symbol/ LYN:You’re a new fan and you have enough gall to ask for benefits? What type of benefits did you want? Why did it take you so long to become my fan? What were you doing earlier?? Amusing. I’m not even nitpicking you, but here you are nitpicking me? Even asking for benefits?? C: Because you weren’t the male lead before! LYN: Why are you so snobby?!? I wasn’t the male lead before so you never took notice of me, is that it? You can’t be like that. A drama’s success does not rely solely on the male and female leads. There’s also the efforts of the supporting cast and background actors. Even the huge efforts of the production crew. There’s setting, lights, wardrobe, makeup, props, art. All the work of the people behind the scenes that comes together to make what you see. How could you blame liking me late on the fact that I wasn’t the male lead before??

C: So if new fans don’t have benefits, do your old fans get any? LYN: … LYN: We’re already so close with each other, what benefits could you possibly need? Haven’t you ever heard of that saying- why am I streaming here today, friends? - /changes the bgm to 黑夜一束光 (Praying)/ LYN: Because I think that companionship is the best confession. At this moment I am keeping you company, just as you are keeping me company. Like this, everything is the most precious. It’s also our greatest mutual benefit.

C: You’re not even willing to perfunctorily offer a jug of soybean oil anymore? LYN: So you also know that’s just perfunctory. LYN: I’ve said this before, though. There will come a time one day when I will give you all that I owe you. When you hit 1000 consecutive days checking in to my SuperTopic I’ll give a jug of soybean oil or a bag of rice. There are reward ranks to checking in. There’s soybean oil, rice, and also laundry detergent, shampoo. Your basic daily necessities. As long as you check in to the Modern Brothers Super Topic, it’ll be no problem for you to claim them. C: Toilet paper. LYN: Yes. Also toilet paper, laundry detergent, hand cream, soap, eggs. All sorts of things you can get if you check in any number of days on the SuperTopic.

C: Toilet plunger. LYN: There’s no need for that.

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C: Ning-ge, can I go act as your body-double? LYN: Act as my body-double? First, tell me how tall you are. For lighting doubles the height needs to be similar, because when they’re fixing the lighting you’ll need to stand in my spot so they can get it right. The lights need to be fixed at a height that’s good for me. So if you’re 1.7m tall and they set it for that much, when I got to stand there at 1.89m the lighting’s going to be wrong. So the height needs to be similar. If you’re 2m then that’s too tall. 1.88, 1.89, or 1.90 are all okay. Otherwise, you can’t be my lighting double. It’s mainly for fixing the position of the lighting and camera. C: Don’t you shoot scenes with legs spread wider apart? (to make himself shorter) LYN: It depends on the scene. But most of the time I don’t, because that will affect my focus.

C: I can stand a day on stilts. LYN: You’re thinking too much. It’s very hard work to be a lighting double. Lighting doubles aren’t just for the leads either, but for the whole main cast. Their jobs are for the whole day. Let’s say for example I’ve finished a scene and now I’d like to take a break, so I go to the side to sit and look over the script. During this time we’re setting up for the next scene so the lighting and cameras need to be adjusted and that’s when they will stand where you will be performing later. If you’re in a room and there’s no one to mark positions, you wouldn’t now where exactly to shoot. They need to think about the background and what’s within the frame, so need someone to stand in position so the lighting and camera is set up properly. When that’s done, you can start scene rehearsals. That’s pretty much the content of their work.

LYN: But many of them- actually, I’ve asked them before: why did they become lighting doubles? I’ll chat with mine sometimes and they’ll tell me. “I’m a student. I’m on break now so I came to experience life and see what it’s like to be part of a drama crew.” “I’m a student and later at night I’ll return to class.” They’ve come for work while they’re on break- for four months- before returning to school. They’ll do that. LYN: Others are professional lighting doubles- they’ll move from crew to crew as needed. Of course, they have a salary so they’re making money and it’s work. Some doubles I think are really amazing. What I mean by that is- because they also receive the drama notices- so they will take the time to not only be a lighting double but also memorize all the lines for the role they’re doubling in. When they’re standing there for the lighting crew to fix the set-up, they and the other double will stand there going over the whole scene. They’re pretty much acting already, going over the lines together. I’ve met few people like this, but they are out there. I’m sure they also dream to one day become an actor, so during this time they’re practicing and it’s a great opportunity. I’ve met doubles like this, and when they’re on camera I think they’re amazing. They’ll remember the lines and really act out the scene, to get the feeling of it. Later they can watch the actors and learn from them. It’s a process that helps you learn extremely quickly. Being a double for any position in any drama means they’ve acted in that drama. I think that’s really ambitious.

C: They created the opportunity for themselves. LYN: It’s not that they created it, rather you’ll discover that “opportunity” is a really vague thing but it’s also right by your side. It just depends on what you do with it. There’s always opportunity. For example, they’re a lighting double. If their dream is to be an actor and they take their job as double seriously, it’s possible that the director might just give them an actual role. They’ll give them a role for them to act in for real. Even if that role is very small or unimportant, it’s still an opportunity. You originally came for one job- lighting double- but might end up acting. It could be fun. LYN: When I was shooting YNGS, there was one scene one of the officers pretended to be NYZ, because I had gone to the pagoda. (E29) The person pretending to be NYZ is actually my lighting double. After the mask is on, I’m the one acting. But before the mask went on, that was my double. So he got a role. :-) LYN: Sometimes the director will think this lighting double is not bad. They’re good-looking and a good person, so they’ll find a role for them to play. That’s okay, too. As long as your effort or earnesty is seen by others during this process, opportunity is something that will be given to you.

C: It’s all a load of nonsense. LYN: There’s nothing nonsense about this. It’s all real. Sometimes I don’t like telling you about this stuff, because it’s seems like I’m preaching but I’m not. I’m just trying to share. I share what I see because I need to observe my surroundings, whether that’s the people in the crew or around me. When I watch them I think. For example, why do people who do well, do well? There are lots of opinions. LYN: Let me tell you a story- I know a chef friend. I won’t name who they are, because you know I only have so many friends who are chefs. Up until now he’s done very well for himself, and he’s very professional. How did he get so lucky? When he was first starting out and apprenticing, he got lucky and was looked well upon by an senior in the kitchen who told him to stick with him and be his helper. At that time he hadn’t even graduated yet- it was just a part-time job, to hang out and learn the work in the kitchens. When he saw this da-ge, he really wanted to follow him. But a lot of times in these circumstances the job might not come to you, especially as someone who is called in last minute. So he followed this da-ge and learned what the guy liked- for example, he likes drinking tea everyday. This “da-ge” isn’t only called that in name- he was also head of the kitchen. So he would come to the kitchen early to prepare tea, and use a fan to cool it until it was around 30C, then cap it and leave it there for him. He knew the guy liked to look at magazines- this da-ge would bet on horses- so he’d turn the pages and leave it open on the horse betting. So he could just pick it up and look at it instead of having to flip through the pages first. He’d take care of these small details, because he wanted to work with this person so much. He would take care of all the small details like this, and after a month when he needed to go back to school, he left. This lao-da needed to switch a xiao-di, right? But he discovered that he couldn’t do without him. Because when the other people worked for example, if they made his tea, he would open the cap and burn himself. It was too hot. He felt like nothing was in the right place. So he told someone to go fetch my friend back, and they did. Ever since then they’ve been working together, advancing step by step. Getting better and better with each passing day. Until today, when he is very successful himself. LYN: I don’t like to say that success if for those who are prepared for it. I you want to succeed, there’s something you have to give, to think about, to do. You can’t just sit there and wait for opportunity to fall into your lap. Many times opportunities are something you strive for yourself. You have to be thorough. I’m just telling you the story of something that happened to someone around me. I don’t mean anything else by it.

C: Ning-ge, isn’t this just being a lackey? LYN: What nonsense are you spouting?! You can’t say it like that. It has nothing to do with that. It’s just that if you are able to do something, you will gain something in return. I’m sure that you think this person is petty and low but they’re doing better than you are. Everyone who’s doing well for themselves now has a story that people don’t know about.

C: Learn the basics. LYN: Yes. In order to learn the basics, it’s what you have to do. Once you’ve got the foundation, work will come to you.

C: Ning-ge, are there only physical requirements to being a lighting double? LYN: It’s not just about the physical match. You have to look at least a little similar, and the skin tone plays a role in that. The whole purpose is to set the lighting, so the skin tone has to be similar. They also go through the whole hair and makeup process, too, so that they can stand there to be the double. They still need to be similar, or as close as possible, to the lead actor. C: Then, I’m out. I’m a “black egg.” LYN: What is that?? I’ve never heard that term before. You’re so dark you… look like an egg? I don’t know. What does that mean? C: A century egg, is a “black egg.” LYN: Oh~ C: A tea egg. LYN: Oh, ok.

bgm: 我只愿朝着光 (I Only Wish to Face the Light) - Be Your Own Light OST

C: Are doubles paid by the production company? LYN: Well, yeah. The production pays them because they’re production staff. We’re all the same. Even actors get paid by the production company.

C: Are there mouth doubles? - [t/n: can also mean “lip”] LYN: /licks his lips/ LYN: What do you mean “mouth double”? That is- when you need to kiss, someone else comes and does it for you? A kiss double, or? What are you referring to? What does “mouth double” mean? LYN: Does a “mouth” double speak on your behalf? There’s nothing like that because you have to act it out yourself. C: Kiss double. LYN: I don’t know… I have yet to encounter a kiss double. For example, there’s a scene that requires me to kiss someone, and the FL says, “Sorry. Not me. You come over here and kiss him.”? I haven’t heard of this before. C: Ning-ge, I’m willing to replace the FL. LYN: I have heard that some dramas DO use kiss doubles, though. Some dramas. I’ve heard about before. I’m not quite sure how they do it, but one time they showed me a scene and told me it was a kiss double. I was surprised. It’s great. Amazing. I don’t think they’re needed anymore? I don’t think people do it much anymore, because honestly this entertainment circle is pretty fierce. Who would dare to ask for one? There were a lot before- I’m hearing this from the stories my actor friends have told me. But nowadays, what young person would dare? They’d be plagued by antis until death. No one dares.

LYN: The other day I was shooting a scene with another actor, and there was a line that was extremely long. It was an inexplicable poem. It was ridiculously long. Not like the ones we’ve learned before. It was so difficult to memorize and we needed to shoot it in a rush, but there wasn’t a lot of time and the pressure was on. We got halfway through the lines before we got stuck because it was just too long and strange. Later when we were rehearsing they told me, jokingly, “If I forget my lines I’m just going to say, “1, 2, 3, 4, 5.” “A, B, C, D, E.”” and I replied, “You wouldn’t dare!” They were joking, of course, and I was also joking back. I said, “You can’t do that because there’s one problem. Not only are we shooting the drama right now and there are crew members around, but there are also paparazzi. They’re all around us. Even if you were joking, if you were caught on video and it was shared online it’s going to affect your career for the rest of your life. You cant joke with this.” We’re really doing it as a joke, but the people around us don’t know that. If someone catches video of that and sells it at a high price and it’s shared online? You’ll be ridiculed until death. No amount of explanation will get you out. LYN: People always talk about “number actors” but really no one dares to try that anymore. At latest I haven’t met anyone. I’ve heard some different ridiculous things, but I won’t tell you about them now. I’ll tell you when I’m sixty. Some really ridiculous moves.

LYN: With my current identity as a rookie actor I have no right to comment on other people’s reasonings and also it’s not good for me to be talking about other people. That’s why when I’m sixty I’ll do a “倚老卖老” (an older person relying on their age to despise others). I’ll share with you, then. That’s why we have to maintain a healthy body! So that when I’m sixty I can do a livestream and tell you a no holds barred account of all my years in this industry. Everything I’ve experienced and things that are outrageous. C: Will you still remember everything when you’re sixty? LYN: I’ll write down every outrageous thing on a little note and put it in a box. Even if I don’t remember, I could just open the box, look at the note and I will know. Alright? C: Will you write a diary? LYN: No.

----------

C: Why has your voice changed? LYN: Has my voice changed? Do you think it has? No, right? This is just the way it is. LYN: Why would someone say my voice has changed? At this age, have I just entered puberty and my voice is changing? Huh? It hasn’t changed, right? LYN: ~No way. I think I’ve always sounded like this. It’s never changed. Maybe you just didn’t know me well enough before. You might think that I can only speak with a Northeastern dialect.~ C: Your voice sounds more thrilling. LYN: ~I don’t think so. In order to do that all I need to do is find a common topic, so it seems more thrilling. It will give my voice some highlights.~ C: It’s more gentle. LYN: ~ If it’s gentle you want then I need to add more breath into it. Am I gentle enough now? ~ C: Today is my birthday, can you wish me a “Happy Birthday”? LYN: ~ Alright. Happy Birthday. ~ LYN: ~ Someone told me that if I continue to be this gentle, their dreams tonight will all be of me. /sigh/ You don’t need to do that. ~

LYN: ! I think for the rest of the night I should use this sort of fake style to chat with you all. What do you think?

C: Lao-da, when they’re doing acupuncture are they really pricking you? LYN: Of course not. Because honestly it does hurt. It’s not worth it.

C: Thanks to you I have less homework tonight and I can watch your stream. LYN: ?? Thanks to me?? What does you having less homework have to do with me? Did I abduct your teacher or something? Why is it thanks to me? How strange!

C: Lao-da, you gained 5k fans. LYN: /laughs/ That just means these 5k people have some sort of small interest in me. Even if they don’t like me, at least they don’t hate me, right? I’d like to thank all the friends who are already following me. If you are not yet subscribed, please do so. The next time I stream you won’t miss it. Thank you, everyone. It’s my honor.

C: Are you wearing a wig? LYN: I already told you- I don’t really have many faults, but the one I do have is that I’m balding. From here (middle of head) to here (front of head)- /shrugs/ my hair’s flown away. At this moment I am using the hat to cover it and in the front is fake bangs that I bought online for 18rmb. Just so that you can see a slightly more normal person. Please don’t mind it, okay? Don’t look down on people.

C: My kid is six and they watch your stream and laugh. LYN: They have good taste. Children are the most honest. So the fact that they are happy when they see me means… they like me. They like this uncle.

bgm: 黑夜一束光 (Praying)

C: Speak properly. LYN: Am I not speaking properly now? I’m only using Standard Mandarin. You really don’t like it? Are you really so against me speaking the standard dialect? /sigh/ I really don’t know what I’ve done wrong. I’ve only just started to speak Standard Mandarin, and you’re holding it against me?? C: Super not accustomed to it. LYN: Is it that bad?!? I only spoke a few words in the standard dialect, why are you being like this to me?? /cackles/ C: I’m finally awake from this illusion. LYN: Yes, I’ll stop messing around now. I’ll return to normal.

-----

C: Lao-da, can you use a villain’s tone to speak? LYN: Haven’t you ever heard that saying- is there any bad guy on earth who would call themselves a bad guy? Does a villain sound different from everyone else? There is no difference. As an actor playing a villain, would you consider yourself one and go around saying, “I’m a villain?” They would never. They’ll think that what they’re doing is the right thing. LYN: When I was acting as BCF I knew I was going to be the villain. But there were times when I was reciting my lines that I would think about what I was saying and I couldn’t understand, from my own worldview. I tried to find some way to convince myself that would support BCF’s beliefs, because I felt like what I was saying was not humane. But there was nothing I could do. I had to find a way. So I stood from the character’s perspective and thought everything I was doing was in the right and I wasn’t wrong. Everything I did, I did with reason. I’ve played- I can’t say I always play the villain, but I’ve acted as them before. C: Da Bai wasn’t a villain, was he? LYN: He was, in the drama. But in his own world he was a hero. The first drama I acted in- Hot Blooded Youth- Wei Chengfeng was a villain through and through. - [t/n: call me a WCF apologist, because I understood where he was coming from. >.> ]

C: Lao-da, is the inner entertainment circle easy to mingle in? LYN: Let me tell you- when I see these questions, if it were me before, I would answer. But now I really don’t dare to. My streams used to be really self-contained, so whatever I was saying wouldn’t be spread around. But right now I really wouldn’t dare to answer this type of question. This type of question has the same logic as the problem of which came first: the chicken or the egg. No matter how you answer, it’s problematic. Do you get me? No matter how I answer, it’d be wrong. If I say it’s easy, that’s definitely wrong. If I say it’s hard, then people will tell me to get out of it. There’s no correct answer. No matter what you say, you’re going to be criticised for it. So I choose not to answer this question. LYN: There IS a way to answer it, and that’s by using a different type of logic, which is: “I don’t know if it’s easy or not, but if you want to know you can come and find out for yourself.” Everyone’s feelings are different. I have my feeligns and you have yours, so if you have the chance you should come and experience it for yourself. You may gain happiness or you may gain suffering. It’s not a sure thing, so you should try it for yourself. C: Tell us when you’re sixty. LYN: There’s nothing to tell you! For anything you do there’s a sweet side and a bitter side. Using my work as an example, there’s nothing that ever goes smoothly from start to finish. Likewise, there’s nothing that you will suffer through from start to finish. Everything is relative.

C: Ning-ge, are crying scenes difficult for you? LYN: They are. They’re extremely difficult. Because ever since I was little I was someone who didn’t like to cry. I was always very brave. So crying scenes for me are extremely difficult. Whenever there’s a scene I need to cry in I will have so much pressure and suffering. Because ever since I was little, I didn’t like to cry. - /laughs at himself, starts a thought and doesn’t end up finishing it/ - /starts singing 勇敢勇敢 by Huang Yong instead/ C: Where did the “crybaby” nickname come from, then? LYN: I don’t like to cry that much. I’m not someone who really likes to cry. If I do it in a drama that because I need to for work and other times it’s because zqsg. It’s possible. When acting it’s all about the zqsg. That’s normal, but in my daily life I don’t like to cry much. - [t/n: zqsg = 真情实感 (zhēnqíng shígǎn) = true feelings]

C: Didn’t you say you were scared into crying on The Truth? LYN: Scared tears and normal tears are two different things. Being scared to tears is passive. It’s not something you can control. It’s a psychological reaction. Well, acting also counts as a psychological reaction. LYN: It was actually really scary though! C: You were scared to tears when riding the horse, though? LYN: I wasn’t scared to tears when riding the horse, it was because of the wind. The horse was a little too fast and the wind blew into my eyes. But... good thing my eyes are small! I’ll say it myself first. If the wind blows them too open, I can also start to tear up. The tears were because of the wind.

C: Ning-ge, how can you cry to have a tear fall from only one eye? LYN: I really can’t teach you! Are you an actor? If you are then go find a professional teacher to learn from, what are you learning from me for? What do you mean tears from only one eye?? I- the next time you cry, you can try to feel it for yourself. Of your two eyes there’s a high probability that the tears will fall from one eye first. One will fill with tears faster than the other. They usually don’t fall at the same time. That only happens when both are full. When you cry normally, one falls first. LYN: I know an actor friend that can control whether the tear falls from their left eye or their right. At the time I thought, “Wow. That’s so amazing!” When we were filming one of the scenes together and it was their turn- because when I cry, I’m just doing it instinctually. I’m just naturally crying. I won’t get into the details, but the result it the same- I cry. I can’t determine which eye the tears fall from first. Sometimes it’s the left and sometimes it’s the right. But I found out that they can control it, so I asked, “How do you control which eye the tear falls from?” So they taught me. It’s something that you feel is very amazing, it sounds amazing, but once you know how it’s done you’ll think, “Oh, it was actually so simple!” The method is very simple, but whether you can pull it off or not is a different matter. After they told me how, I realized it was very simple. C: Tear drops. LYN: No, not that. What actor would dare to use tear drops nowadays?

C: Ning-ge, why don’t you demonstrate? // Is it top secret? LYN: It’s not a secret. Actually, I can- how about this. If you want to know then send me 50rmb in WeChat and I’ll teach you the method. You think you’re watching me stream, but in reality I am also selling classes. The classes don’t have any content, rather I’m just telling you a ridiculous- no, it’s not ridiculous… It looks like I’m streaming for free, but now I’m starting to reap my harvest. If you want to know the secret I was talking about you need to send me 50rmb. C: I don’t want to know. Bye. LYN: … LYN: You already know that I’m joking. I know that you are too, but can’t you just indulge me? Can’t you open your heart a little bigger and just indulge me?? I’m feeling a little arrogant, so you need to follow my flow a little bit. You can’t just leave me hanging! Right?! You need to make it out like you’re very interested in the answer or want to haggle the price, and that way we get a story out of it. 1. You could beg me to tell you. 2. You’re desperate to know but you created a characterization of yourself- which is that you’re very stingy- so you want to haggle the price with me, and in the end I make a deal with you at 35rmb. That’s the way a story can develop. You need to create the process. You can’t just cut if off like that. For example, in this case I said “send me 50rmb” and you just turned me down and left. In that case the story ends. That’s no good. Can’t you just work with me a little?? D: C: 5rmb. LYN: Actually, 5rmb would be ok too. With all of you here, you could negotiate a group offer. XD

C: 1rmb. Teach me, friend. LYN: /laughs/ LYN: I really did learn this ability, though. They taught me how and I tried, and it worked! It looked like a difficult thing to do but was accomplished simply. If you don’t learn how though, you really can’t do it. It’s like going to a restaurant to eat a dish but they have a secret recipe. When you’re looking at the recipe you think it’s difficult to make but after you’ve made it you think it was easy. If no one tells you how to do it, though- C: Show us. LYN: Am… Am I crazy? First of all, I’m streaming so there’s no need for me to sit here crying for no reason, is there? Secondly, if it were to get out that I’m crying in my stream wouldn’t that be grounds for people to ridicule me until I die? Anti-LYN: LYN thinks he’s all that, acting in his streams and telling his fans that “this is what acting is”? We all know how his acting is, and he’s demonstrationg on stream how to cry?? They’re requesting crying scenes from him??? I don’t know what’s wrong with this industry, can just anyone and everyone act now? Who is it exactly, that’s backing him? Who indulges him? Even someone like him can go into acting- that’s too unfair. LYN: I have predicted your prediction. Excuse me, I have predicted your prediction to my prediction. (uno-reverse)

C: Is this a real person? LYN: AI. I’m an AI image, right now. I’ve actually snuck away and am soaking my feet. I’m getting ready to sleep, but my AI is sitting here streaming for you.

C: Ning-ge, if you see me, then breathe. LYN: /laughs/

----- Cicada Girls

C: Ning-ge, can we talk about Xiao Bei (Cicada Girls)? LYN: Yeah, we can. Why not? What do you want to talk about? C: When can I meet him? LYN: I don’t know. I really don’t know. I haven’t received any news, but they did send me some OSTs. As for the other stuff I don’t know.

C: Does Xiao Bei have a BE? LYN: I don’t know. I can’t spoil it. You can watch it when the time comes. LYN: When I was acting as XB, since it was a modern drama, now that I think about it I didn’t control what I was eating. I was eating lots every day. I was happy just to eat. Eating every day~ We were shooting in Chongqing, so I didn’t care. I ate and relaxed. C: Weren’t you working out then? LYN: It wasn’t then. It was before XB, when I was in Beijing for a period of time. I was working out constantly, then. I found a trainer and everything. Because last year I know I had promised to show you abs by the end of the year. But once I starting shooting the drama it was really tiring and I wasn’t in the mood to work out anymore.

C: Is XB the 1ML or 2ML? LYN: It’s not important. Xiao Bei is Xiao Bei, and he is just one of my many roles. (His rank) is not important. Whether 1ML or 2ML, I still get paid. I still get the same amount of scenes. So it’s not important.

C: Is Gao Weiguang taller than you are? LYN: He is! He seriously is. It’s been two- three consecutive dramas where I’ve met someone taller than me. Yuan Lu is taller than I am. Chen Youwei. When I first went to shoot the drama, we were in Dunhuang on the first day and we went out to eat, to get to know each other. I saw him and thought, “Wow, CYW’s so tall??!” He’s taller than I am, but he’s acting as my little brother. “My little brother is taller than I am! His development is too good, isn’t it??” I guess I can’t say that he’s taller than I am, but that we are around the same height. The difference does not exceed 1cm. But GWG really is taller than I am, for sure. C: What about Zhang Linghe? LYN: I think we’re around the same height? We haven’t measured, but I don’t think the difference between us would be more than 1cm. It’s not like the first thing I did when I saw him was go, “Come here, kid, Let’s compare heights.” It’s not necessary. If we hang out we’ll get a general idea of what the difference is. It’s not like we’re competitive about it, and there’s no need to be! ZKY, too. When the three of us are together we’re all pretty tall. One look and you can see that we’re all similar in height. The difference won’t be more than 2cm. C: I’d like to see you work on a drama together. LYN: If there’s an opportunity.

bgm: 狂風襲來 (Fierce Wind Raid) - West Out of Yumen/Parallel World OST LYN: When I was recording for the program BY had told me that he sang this too. I replied, “Oh? You sang it?” and he told me that he went to some event and sang this song. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lw4kBfY94XE]

C: Ning-ge, did you change your studio team? LYN: I haven’t. You’ve noticed that the studio contents seem to have gone through a change, right? I went to Disney the other day and people got photos of my staff and they commented, “Oh. No wonder the posts the studio is making suits our tastes. He added some after-‘00 liners. The studio added new members, and they’re born after the 2000’s.” C: Is your studio still recruiting? LYN: Our team is full at the moment. We’re not recruiting. I have enough people. So, we’re no longer recruiting at this moment. Go find work elsewhere.

C: So are they new? LYN: They’re not new. I’ve told you before, that I didn’t used to like taking photos or videos. For example when I had to attend events- like most recently the one for DragonTV. Most of the time artists have to take setting off pictures- you’ve seen them for things like Weibo Night. “Setting off” pictures. What that means is that when they’re ready to go, they’ll post photos so that everyone who is paying attention to them that day can see what they’re wearing and how they’re styled and with what makeup. Is it tasteful? Does it look good? Are they handsome or not? Pretty or not? That’s standard operation for an artist- no matter what you’re doing, you have to post photos first. To let people know, “I’m heading out to an event. What do you think of my outfit? I got it from Taobao.” They need to tell people who they’re wearing. It’s something all artists will do. LYN: But I- honestly, I don’t think I am good-looking. So I really hate taking photos and shooting promo ads. I really don’t like those two things. I don’t like making poses because even when I do the picture doesn’t come out nice. No matter what I do, it looks strange. So I really didn’t like taking photos or videos, and would tell my staff not to take photos of me. Another thing is that when I’m attending these events I’m usually there to sing. At an actor’s event, I’m singing. At a singer’s event, I’m also singing. I always have a performance when I’m at an event. They’ll say, “Since you’re coming, why don’t we add you to the program?” So in my mind I’m there to perform, not to make myself pretty and walk the carpet, get on stage to accept an award, say a speech, and leave. Usually I have a performance, and I’m singing a song. I’m under a lot of pressure- it’s self-given. I want to make sure I do well and don’t mess up because I’m a singer after all, even though I’ve been acting lately. So when my studio would tell me, “Boss, let’s take some photos. 🙏” I’d get really annoyed at them and say, “I don’t want to!” Then I found out that everyone else was taking these photos, so I’d say, “Take some, take some. Hurry. That’s enough. Ok. Ok. You’re only posting 6 or 7, that’s enough.” My staff are actually pretty helpless to do anything. Of course, I don’t speak to them that way. I was just exaggerating. I don’t actually treat my staff that way. LYN: I’d say, “~ Can we stop taking photos now? I’m a little… annoyed. :) I still have a performance later, can we move along? They said we only need six photos, right? We have about enough. Trust me. We have enough. :) It won’t be a problem. You’re already doing great.👍~” “~I think you’ve all worked hard today. Why don’t you take a break and fix up the photos we got and just post them? Alright? Then, I will go prepare.~” LYN: Do you believe the former way more, or the latter way? /laughs/ C: I believe the former one more. LYN: Ok, yeah. It leans more towards the former, but not as arrogant. They won’t force me, though. But at that time I was conflicted about it. I didn’t want to take pictures. I just wanted to pull off my performance successfully, and participate in the event a little but otherwise be done with it.

LYN: But I would get yelled at by my own fans. Anti LYN: “It’s so late already, why haven’t you posted any photos when all the other artists have?? Where are they? Why aren’t there any? What does your studio even DO??” LYN: Isn’t that… them yelling at me? It just felt like they were saying, “LYN. You say you’re an artist but you don’t even post photos, so what type of artist are you?? You should be coming out to do business. Your fans support you so much, so what’s wrong with taking a few photos for them? What are you being so stuck-up for? Do you think you’re too good for us?” I feel like that’s what they’re saying. That’s why later, I adjusted. When I need to post photos, I will. But if they try to take too many, I can’t take it. But I heard that a lot of artists are really intense and they’ll arrive a day early! I don’t mean anything else by it- I’m just describing a situation I’ve seen, and something that makes me think they’re really amazing. If the event is on the 8th, they’ll arrive on the 6th. They’ll start makeup and when that’s done they’ll wear their outfit for the day and take photos. On the 7th they’ll pick and edit photos. On the 8th, the actual day of the event, they’ll post the photos. LYN: I just thought they were really intense and also really amazing. But I can’t be like them. If you had me do something a day in advance I would find it really tiring. But many artists do, and it’s something I respect and admire about them. I’ve gotten better now, though. My studio will post a few things about my daily life or make a video about an event I’ve attended. I need to change, and it’s better for everyone’s development. C: Your staff complained? LYN: They didn’t. I just like to look at things myself. I realized that I probably needed to start making the change. For a lot of things no amount of advising will work. I need to realize it myself in order to make a change. Sometimes now I’ll actively tell them to call pr so we can shoot some content to post, because you all seem to enjoy it. At least this way I have an excuse for not streaming. So since I’m not streaming, at least you have something to look at. LYN: Today my staff told me that they’ve collected a bunch of material, and asked if they should post it. I told them not to post yet, because I was going to stream tonight. In a few days when I haven’t streamed and I think that my fans miss me too much, I’ll post something. To appease them. But I’m streaming today so we’re saving it.

C: Objectively comment on the ceremony’s fan support. LYN: Your… your voices are pretty loud. You sure can shout. It’s not bad. I’ve said before, that a lot of my fans are actually kettles that have become human. C: Do you like it? Tell the truth. LYN: You could just ask the first three words, why did you add the next three? What’s there for you to be proud of? Did you also shout? Were you a part of the kettle boiling? Of the 12 major scales, were you in charge of one of them? And you’re asking me, /coyly/ “Did you like it? Tell the truth.” Even I can imagine what type of face you’re making! LYN: ~Did you like it? Tell the truth~ :) ~ LYN: It was quite nice, I just didn’t expect it. Because there are rarely daytime events, and the tickets were limited. So there were a few friends who relied on some connections to get in. Someone’s relative, or some acquaintance, that were able to get you tickets and get you in. I didn’t expect there to be so many of you. It was unexpected. I can’t say you made me look good, but at least knowing that you were there to support me made me happy. C: I bought the ticket myself. LYN: Very good. In any case, you were all quite loud. There were so many people including seniors and rookies*, but I was glad to have you there. You’ve worked hard. - [t/n: *meaning they weren’t drowned out by the groups of other fans.]

C: Chat about the fan support in Changsha. LYN: I was happy to see the Changsha fan-support as well. Every time I go to Changsha to record for variety shows, many of you go to see me. I’m really thankful for you to make the trip to see me, and to shout for me and support me. You’re really saving me face. You’ve come from a long way, too. I know that’s not easy. Knowing that you did that, I think that the least I could do is come out to greet you all. I know that I’m very safe with you. No one is going to try to rush at me or make a mess of things. Sometimes you may look rowdy, but I know that’s because other people’s fans or paparazzi are trying to squeeze over to look at a monkey. My fans are very polite, and stand their ground even when I come out to see you. It’s nice, and you’re always like that. LYN: But this time around, because… that other person (SZE?) is afraid of anything happening when they attend events. If there’s any problem, then it will turn into a major thing. This time, I didn’t go over to greet them and I had told them about it. But I’m still thankful that you came to support me. I really appreciate it. Thank you. LYN: It was raining that day, too. So I really am very grateful. C: You broke the bank on milk teas. LYN: It was fine. Those things are for a purpose. It’s nothing.

-----

C: Talk about The Truth. LYN: There’s nothing really to say about it? I’ve already said all I could. I’m close with the cast this year, except for the one new friend. But we had a fun time recording and quickly became friends. BY, ZKY, and I count as the more experienced players, as we’re carried over from last season. It’s not that we’re guiding the new players, but that we have more of an insight due to the experience. We’ll tell the new players about what happened to us last season and how the crew will attempt to mess with us. Or, from a reasoning perspective, what way we can look at things in order to solve the riddles. We’ll share what we know, even if what we’re saying is mostly nonsense. LYN: We’ll tell them, “If the production set it up this way, then that means this will happen next” and the thing doesn’t happen at all. “This problem is so simple! It’s this, plus this. Divided by this. Then that means the answer is this-” and we don’t solve it at all. We thought there’d be an advantage to being an experienced player but in the end it doesn’t help at all. And we’re over here trying to teach them??? Later when I looked back on it I was wondering, “Do they find me really annoying?” I thought I was being smart, but in the end I’m all wrong.

LYN: In the first episode BY, ZKY, and I would be more proactive in sharing what we think and how to solve the problems. We’re doing it with good intentions, because we want to show the new players how to play. But they play better than we do. That’s the most embarrassing part! I thought I’d be able to guide them through it, but they know the game better than I do! Later it got better, and we played all together. It was fun. At the very least, we blended well. LYN: When you’re recording a show, one part of it is the show itself and the second part is the relationships between people. People who always watch variety shows will know, actually you’re watching for the relationships. You want to see if this group of people work well together or not. Are they fun to watch? Do you like seeing them get together and chat? Even if it’s something silly as reasoning, it’s the matter of whether you like to see it or not. The atmosphere they create is very important. This season is really not bad at all- we’re great together, because we all know each other and we’re good people.

C: Is it all recorded before it’s aired? LYN: No. It should air before we finish recording all the episodes. We’ll record and broadcast at the same time. There’s still editing and getting clearance from censors- the process is actually a lot like that of a drama’s. After it passes censors, they’ll cut and fix before putting the episodes together. It’s the same as with a drama. It won’t be too long. I’m sure you’ll see it before the month is up. I hope so, at least. It’s not a sure thing.

- /fixing his hair/ LYN: It’s a little long. But I’ve just had it trimmed. :\

LYN: When I was recording for this program I felt like… I’ve changed so much so that it doesn’t feel like me. Before when I used to attend events or variety shows I would be more relaxed. I thought, “As long as I’m having fun!” Because for variety shows you need to be 1) invested in the story and 2) be active. But now I guess I’ve experienced some… slight cyber bullying. Maybe not “cyber bullying” but some... setbacks. Now I have worries. I kept thinking- let me share with you. LYN: I’m actually nervous for this season. I went to record for the show, and this season there are some musical elements involved. I won’t go into details, but you’ll hear us sing. At the time I was in a group with ZLH- we’re all singing the same song. Then, after we sang… /pause/ We’re singing the same part of the song! Because it’s particularly difficult to memorize. So when we sang it, it was maybe slightly easier for me, since I am still considered a professional singer, right? I could approach it normally. But for him, he is not… the best… at singing. When he was singing I- /looked at ZLH like “?!”/ I thought he was really amusing! What an interesting person! So when he was singing I thought it was pretty fun. I don’t know. In any case, during the process I understood the charm of his singing. There’s nothing wrong with me phrasing it like that, right? I understood the charm of his singing. That’s why in the show I kept cueing him, saying, “I don’t want to hear anyone else sing. I want to hear ZLH.” “Sing something. Come on, let’s do it together!” Actually- it’s because he’s a new player, so I wanted to break the ice with some playful ribbing. He didn’t sing, and it’s not like I would have FORCED him! But it ended up becoming a small inside joke. I said to him, “I just want to hear you sing. I’m begging you. Please!” But through the process of the show, we continued joking like this. And he can take a joke, too. He’d say, “I won’t sing!” so I replied, “If I send you 100rmb, will you sing? I’m begging.” We’ll make these types of jokes. LYN: But after we finished recording and I got home and was lying on my bed, I started thinking: “Was that problematic?” When the show airs, would people think, “LYN, why are you such a terrible person? Are you making fun of him?? What do you mean by that? You’re a singer, so you sound nice and that makes you think you can make fun of others?” I was lying on my bed, thinking of this problem. “You’re forcing him! You’re-” /cuts himself off/ “-bullying new players!” I was thinking of this problem, tossing and turning, and couldn’t sleep for a long time. I was thinking to myself, “It’s fine, right? People will know I was joking?” “I don’t need to bring him down just to prove how great of a singer I am, there’s no need for that! I’m not going to benefit in any way from doing that.” I just kept thinking about it. After a few days of mulling it over I decided it wasn’t a big deal. If we’re all getting along well then no one would think in that direction. Anyway, I just want to share that I’m a little 前怕狼后怕虎 (qián pà láng hòu pà hǔ; lit. fear the wolf in front and the tiger behind; needless fears)

LYN: I’ll think too much now, and I think that makes me unhappy. LYN: But I just need some time to adjust and regain my previous mental state. I need to move forward, but without losing myself and my own personality. I think that’s very important.

bgm: 就在江湖之上 (Above the Jianghu) - Mysterious Lotus Casebook OST

LYN: I’ve been streaming for more than four hours already?? I’ve streamed for more than four hours, already. LYN: /to the melody of 我的滑板鞋 (My Skate Shoes)/ ~Time is moving so swiftly. Night has fallen. I believe I must take my leave. I’ve forgotten many things, but I still remember in my imagination there are a pair of skate shoes. When I wear them, I am sure to dance well!~ LYN: How about this, friends? Today, I will- what time is it now? 9:59p. I’ll stream until 10:30p. Okay? I’ll stream another half-hour. We’ll go until 10:30p. I’ll chat with you some more, since I haven’t in a long time. We’ll chat. But wait for me a sec. I’ll use the restroom.

---------- break #4

LYN: Good evening, my friends! LYN: Oh? Really? Fifty million (people watching the stream). I don’t believe this is possible!

C: Quick, get off of LYN. [a ghost?] LYN: You mean, “I don’t care who you are, I order you to get off LYN?” LYN: Why are you saying it so terrifyingly?

C: LYN, just be yourself. This is just the way the world is. LYN: I- never complain. Because it doesn’t do me any good. I have my own rhythm and I’ll just have to slowly adjust, because my environment isn’t the same as it was before.

C: Are there any new dramas? LYN: I’m working hard to film them quickly! It’s difficult for me to come across a drama and script that I like. But I’m doing my best to shoot them, so I hope you can be less restless and less impatient.

C: Ge, are you not singing today? LYN: You must have just come in. You just came in, so what gives you the right to start making demands? You don’t know that you’re late?! I already sang, but I haven’t eaten much today so I don’t have enough strength. I won’t be singing. I can hum a little but not properly sing.

C: /telling him to comment on other people/ LYN: What gives me the right to? Who am I to judge other people? Do you think I’m like those content creators who rate this and rate that? I don’t rely on my videos to gain ad revenue. I don't need to judge people. Don’t scare me. I wouldn’t dare to comment on anyone. Even with my close friends, I have to be careful. I have to be careful when I mention their names, even when joking. So I just won’t mention them anymore. Because when you’re in this industry your job is to bring people happiness or entertainment, so I used to think that mentioning my friends and seeing how close we were to each other would have the same effect. But now everything is criticized (as a matter of principle), so I don’t mention them anymore. If everything is going to be criticized I might as well not say anything. Not making trouble is better than having trouble. LYN: So I’ll try my best not to mention anyone if there’s no need to bring them up.

bgm: 遥远的相似 (Distant Resemblance) - South Wind Knows OST

C: Are you still going to be on Mao Xue Woof? LYN: When I went to record for Hello Saturday, Xueqin asked me what I was doing in May. But I’d be shooting my drama, then. I think she said that it would start recording in May, so if I had time I could go do an episode. But I’d already be in my new crew by then so I don’t think I can go. I’m going to miss it again. How regretful!

C: My mom says that you look very cultured/refined. LYN: … It’s not followed by “degenerate” is it? She said “refined” and it wasn’t followed by anything, like “This kid looks like a refined d-d…” /can’t bring himself to say it/. Right? /puts on some shades/ Oh~ LYN: Auntie, I’m just faking it. Jie, I’m faking it. I’m just a hoodlum of society. I’m not very refined or a refined person.

C: Ning-ge, my roommate says you’re very handsome. LYN: /pleased/ It’s been a long time since I’ve heard someone call me handsome. Friends, this is a secondary account I’ve created. It makes posts automatically. When you say the keyword it will post the comment automatically, “LYN you’re very handsome. Really.” C: My husband says you’re very handsome. LYN: That’s not necessary. I’m sure that your husband is the most handsome person in your heart. I’m just average. - cue You Are My Destiny~~ LYN: I need to change the bgm for this!

C: My mom and dad have seen your journey and think you’re really impressive. LYN: I’m not impressive. But I think… Sometimes I will think back on what I’ve experienced and what I’ve been through on this road. I think it’s pretty magical. When I went back to Dandong for a bit, I especially felt this. This whole journey has been magical. I don’t think I am all that amazing, but more of that I got lucky in my choices. When I first started out, after I went viral, I was really popular. Even I think so- I was popular, and there was a lot of interest in me. But at that time I didn’t choose to continue to be a streamer. I chose to become a celebrity. I didn’t choose to take business deals to go around to various events and sing for money. I did something that didn’t make me money instead. I started acting. At that time I had never acted before, but jumped right in. Of course, it’s because of this that I was able to meet someone I’m indebted to. They gave me a hand and an opportunity. LYN: I think it’s all about choice. At every juncture, I didn’t make too bad of a choice. It’s been that way up until today. When I look back and try to think of a choice I made incorrectly, I can’t come up with one. Of course, there’s no turning back in life. /thinks/ I did make some wrong choices. But I’ll use them as experience and consider it a training. If your whole life was smoothly paved, you won’t learn anything. LYN: I can’t say that my life was smooth, but I also don’t want to play the sympathy card and tell you exactly how difficult the process was. Some things I can’t say. 1) It’s something I can’t tell you viewers, and 2) If I tell you only my fans would feel sorry for me. The greater community won’t care. Passersby or people who don’t like me won’t feel sorry for me, so there’s no need to voice all the things I thought were hard or tiring. There’s no need to. LYN: I remember there’s a song from Wang Yuan called “世界上没有真正的感同身受” (There’s No True Empathy In This World). I think I’ve heard it before. I think it’s really right. It’s hard to feel true empathy. So even if you were to tell about your hardships there wouldn’t be any meaning to doing it.

LYN: I’ve told you, right? I shot a drama once. I think I told you. That’s when I decided I wanted to be an actor, and I liked doing it. But after shooting for that drama for one week I got back to my hotel room and I stood there in front of the mirror looking at myself- still in wig and makeup. I looked into the mirror and told myself, “LYN, you’re a singer. You could have just sung your songs and made enough to feed yourself, so why did you start acting? Why do you want to be an actor? Why??” LYN: There were times when I would interrogate myself like this. Back then I almost gave myself a mental illness. You might think that’s something you only see on tv- after all how many people in real life would talk to themselves in the mirror? Very few. At that time I was already at that stage. C: Were you mezmerized by your own good looks in the mirror? LYN: /defeated/ LYN: You’ve probably seen less of me than I have. I’ve been looking at myself for 30+ years. I’m just glad I don’t want to throw up. How could I be surprised by my own good looks? No way. I just wanted to say that on the road to becoming an actor you’ll make decisions you might consider a regret at the time, but become a gain later on. It helps me to adjust my way of thinking. For example if I encounter something I don’t think is good enough I will be conflicted over it. “This won’t do. What is this? I can’t do this.” But later when I thought about it I was limiting my possibilities. Throughout this whole process I’m learning to convince myself, open myself to feeling more and experiencing more. In the end I hope I can convey that to you.

C: Ning-ge, the script where you’re a dominating CEO… LYN: First of all, I’m not as popular as you think I am- I don’t have a lot of work which allows me to pick and choose whatever drama I want. I’m happy to have work in the first place. I’m grateful that a drama would even consider me. I’m just cruising along looking for some way to fill my stomach. That’s the first thing- a dominating CEO is not something I can act as just because I want to. Secondly,- ~ Woman, you’re playing with fire, but you’ve successfully gained my attention. If there’s an opportunity I might… actually consider accepting a role. ~ Just kidding. :) LYN: Honestly a lot of times I discovered this problem- that is, some roles I’ve accepted are already that of a dominating CEO, only it’s a guzhuang version. It’s the same sort of character. ~ Woman, I told you to shut your mouth. Within three minutes, collect your belongings and get out. ~ Isn’t that a dominating CEO? It’s all the same lines but just in a different era. - /comparing lines in guzhuang vs modern dramas/ LYN: So if you’re saying that you want to see me act as a dominating CEO, probably some of my guzhuang roles can also fulfill that wish.

C: I want to see Daimi. LYN: Maybe later.

C: Ning-ge, can you play a villain that doesn’t die? LYN: A villain that survives in the end? I can. I’ll try, at least. If one such roles comes to me, I’d accept it. C: A villain who turns good in the end. LYN: That’s difficult. Because the problem of the logic- from what I’ve heard- is that as long as you’ve done bad things… You can shout all you want, “I’m going to kill AAA. I’m going to do BBB. I’ll destroy the three realms!” But as long as you don’t actually DO anything, it’s fine. Maybe you can be redeemed. But the moment you actually DO those things, I don’t think there’s any redemption.

C: Ning-ge, if you have time why not become a voice actor? LYN: I know a lot of people have suggested it, but I need to tell you something: I’m not worthy. I like voice acting, so sometimes I’ll listen to the works of the really amazing professional voice actors. There’s really a difference. Their voices not only sound good, but their control is far superior. I’m not worthy to be a voice actor. They’re much more amazing than I am. It’s just something some people can do but others can’t. You can’t bring the same feeling/emotion to it. Some lines, like saying the name of the moves or even something like, “Bring me your life!”- it doesn’t have the same feeling. There’s still a difference. I can’t be a voice actor. If there are opportunities for me to try, I would definitely try though.

C: Go voice act for Disney. LYN: I don’t think I qualify for that either. /Minnie Mouse in the elevator/ “You’ve reached the third floor!” “The lobby is on the first floor.” “Oh~ My friend! Welcome to Shanghai Disney!”

----- Daimi Time

LYN: Daimi-ah. Daimi. Come here, please. LYN: Come. Come on. LYN: She’s gotten her immunizations lately, so we haven’t given her a bath. She looks kind of dirty, but please don’t mind it. She can’t get wet because of the shots so she’s… scrunkly. She’s not fat, though. We’ve been regulating her diet. She was sleeping, and I woke her up. - /Daimi looks up at him/ LYN: Don’t move. Go away. How annoying. - /puts his glasses on her head, and they fall off/ LYN: You’re going to break my glasses! -- Neon Sweetheart LYN: She’s getting annoyed.

LYN: Alright, that’s about it. I’ve streamed for kind of long today. If I have time lately I’ll try to come stream more. Thank you for keeping me company and for your support. /pauses/ I forgot my closing lines. /buffering/ I hope you had a relaxing, happy, and wonderful night. It was great to have you and I hope you had fun. Let’s meet again in the next stream~ Bye bye, everyone!

#Liu Yuning #lyn livestream #(4:53:45)#never proofread & sometimes I can't brain English- srry

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momosandlemonsoda · 7 days

Text

WIP Wednesday

I’m plugging away at ch 19 of the rock star au (aka Dance the Silence Down) so have a couple of bits. In this chapter, the showcase finally happens and I’m writing sections in each of the three POVs. Here are the first parts of DFS and FDB’s POVs (I haven’t written LLH yet).

Di Feisheng:

Dusk2Dawn is packed, like it always is on these nights—showcases are guaranteed to bring in a big crowd, which is why the venue runs them monthly. It’s why DFS had already played one, plans to play another, though he’s been trying to put together a band before he comes back. Too bad he’s been far too distracted by Xiangyi to make more than half-hearted efforts to pull a band together. He can admit to himself that he’s been hoping that Xiangyi will snap out of his… funk, depression, whatever, and agree to play with him. After Wednesday, well—

After Wednesday, he thinks, leaning against the bar and ordering a beer, he’ll be lucky to get Xiangyi to speak to him at all tonight.

It’s been a long fucking time since he’s played something so incredibly wrong. To learn that Xiangyi doesn’t even play piano anymore—it makes him sick to his stomach just to think about it. Everyone knew the stories—discovered by Qi Mushan, an amazing musician in his own right, in an orphanage playing piano at age 4. On the concert stage at 11, touring until he “quit” at 16 to start a rock band with his brother… Xiangyi once told him that his earliest memories were of someone singing him a lullaby; that he remembered picking the notes out on the piano over and over again, and never knowing what it was until Qi Mushan told him it what it was. And then, of course, he’d learned to play it flawlessly.

***

Fang Duobing

“You look so cuuuuuuute!”

Fang Duobing can feel his cheeks heat up as Kira plucks at his sweater.

“I told you the white cable knit was the best option, you look like you’re on the cover of Vogue.” She turns to Chenchen. “Doesn’t he look like the perfect singer-songwriter?”

“Um,” he starts, but Chenchen cuts him off.

“I still think you could have gone edgier,” she says, making a little moue of dissatisfaction. “Let me do your makeup now, you need more mascara for your eyes to really pop.”

It’s all he can do not to bat her hands away and cover his face in mortification. He reminds himself that his friends are just being supportive no matter how embarrassing it is to have them fuss over him in front of Li Lianhua.

“It’s fine,” he mutters, trying to duck away, but Chenchen grabs his arm and then makes him squat down so she can reach his eyelashes. Damn it.

He can see Li Lianhua out of the corner of his eye, standing silently nearby with on hand in his pocket, the other holding Fang Duobing’s guitar case, his long hair pulled back half-up, half-down. He looks a little pale but otherwise his usual shit-eating self, and he laughs silently when he catches Fang Duobing’s eye.

“There!” Chenchen announces, “I think that’s perfect. And I like the way you did your hair, the leather guan makes you look like a cross between a wuxia hero and a bad boy.”

Oh no, he thinks, watching Li Lianhua mouth the words, “Bad boy,” before he clearly bites down on the inside of his cheek so he doesn’t burst into hysterical laughter. Sourly, Fang Duobing hopes he gets a canker sore. Jerk.

#mysterious lotus casebook #rock star au #li lianhua #fang duobing #di feisheng #wip wednesday #DFS is still disturbed from his last convo with llh #whereas fdb is truly Suffering in front of his man #my fic #writing is a bullshit hobby

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jokertrap-ran · 2 hours

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(光与夜之恋 Light and Night) Melody of Return Letter Translation

*Light and Night Masterlist *Join the Light & Night Discord (＾▽＾)~ ♪ *This will go under everyone’s personal tag *Spoiler free: Translations will remain under cut

❖ Osborn:

My Little Naughty (Y/n),

Finally willing to come back, huh? The long-term contract we signed has yet to be fulfilled, so I'm not letting you escape all so easily. ‘Sides, I don't believe that you don't miss me at all, seeing how I'm always at your disposal, all day, any day. Milkie has become friends with the others at home, and Xiaoragon loves it. But I know that Xiaoragon loves you best. Ye Chuan asked about your recent situation, saying how he wouldn't be able to have peace of mind until he saw you for himself again. Let's go visit him when we have time.

—Osborn

❖ Evan:

My Little Rabbit, (Y/n),

That spider plant is flourishing. It helps put me at ease whenever I place it in its daily spot of sunlight. However, I do think sometimes that it shouldn’t be trapped in a small flower pot indoors, relying on regular and controlled amounts of watering to sustain its own life. Perhaps the life it wants is being able to take root in the soil and grow freely. Let’s transplant it to the yard together once we’re free, and we can watch the ending of the movie we first watched together after.

—Evan

❖ Sariel:

My dumb bird, (Y/n),

Qi She said that I wasn’t smiling as much during the time you were gone. I thought about it, and maybe I do smile around you a lot. Maybe that was what gave Qi She that misconception. But you’ve always done well; your growth as a designer is steadily improving, and you’ve never been a dumb bird. In short, you don’t have to go away for such a long period to further your studies next time. You can just come to me. I’ve brought back a couple of trinkets that I think you’d like. I’ll deliver it all to you later.

—Sariel

❖ Charlie:

My Dear Fiancée (Y/n),

The joy of publishing ten papers cannot even come close to the joy of seeing you. So, if you want to come see me more often, I can reciprocate as well by coming to visit you instead. However, I am not like the golden bachelor you read about in novels, who wants to confine their Fiancée like a canary in a cage. I fully support your decision to go further outland to further your studies, but don’t forget to contact me more no matter where you are. Texting would be good, phone calls are better, and of course, bringing me along would be the best.

—Your ever-waiting Fiancé, Charlie

❖ Jesse:

My Dear Lady, (Y/n),

You’ve finally returned! I’ve lost weight waiting for you, and the costume you [personally designed and made before you left doesn’t fit as well anymore. So, when are you gonna come by and help me make some alterations, Milady? Also, you once pinky swore with me that you’d always stand by me and that you’d never leave. I won’t let you go back on that promise, so you’d best be prepared~

—Milady’s One & Only Knight, Jesse

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cuterocks · 2 years

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i’m so deep in my feelings for nie mingjue, these are some headcanons i have

• he has a severe case of resting bitch face. 90% of the time he’s not angry or irritated or something, he just has his face relaxed

• hot weather drains him so much, and what’s even worse is that he runs hotter than everyone he knows. everytime he has a free moment for himself, he undresses and lays on some rocky ground to cool down

• he has always suffered from migraines, tho in his youth those were only constant faint buzzing, painful but manageable. of course, after baxia and the qi deviation migraines become unrelenting pounding behind his eyes

• he doesn’t like fineries, but not because he has no taste. it’s because complicated decorations confuses him since he has auras in his eyes a lot of the time, and strong and complex flavors and scents cause him nausea

• he is curt, because dealing with migraines leaves him fatigued. he cannot spend hours paying attention to useless ramblings that often hide other meanings, he has a limited amount of energy and he’s not gonna spend it on listening to jin guangshan’s self aggrandizing speeches

• he looks very strong, and people always comment on it, but the truth is what everyone sees is just 50% of what he was used to be. he feels so weak all the time but hides it well because his 50% is still really impressive. this doesn’t give him any solace though

• no one knows this, but the more he drifts toward qi deviating, the less he wields baxia. the fact is, when the qi deviation started manifesting, it’s already too late. unless someone finds a cure, he won’t heal, no matter how much or how little he wields baxia. so, since he gets weaker by the hour, he has no energy anymore to wield the saber

• everyone knows cultivation is all there is for him, but no one knows the feelings he has for it. to him it’s not just a display of brute force, it’s so much more than that and that’s why he’s so powerful. you can’t just practice strength, there’s also a lot of thought, attention to details, balancing of the mind. it’s just that all the work that doesn’t require sparring with others, he does in the privacy of his rooms

#nie mingjue #the untamed #cql hc

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legoflowerfruitmountain · 2 years

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LMK headcanon / hypothesis

Inspired by an amazing analysis and theory here: https://ninja-knox-ur-sox-off.tumblr.com/post/689232251596259328

By @ninja-knox-ur-sox-off, who has also written about their thoughts about Sun Wukong holding back his strength. Please give their posts a read and shower the author with love! They’ve written other great analysis before on Lego Monkie Kid, so you’ll find more great stuff on their blog.

So, the season 3 special has shown that Sun Wukong, in all fights before, was holding back his strength. He could’ve had destroyed everybody in short time, could’ve finished the battles within seconds. Instead, he limited his strength and powers. Liu-er Mihou even calls him out on it.

What interests me is that a) it seems to go in line with Sun Wukong receiving injuries, and b) he never loses control.

For a). The most obvious example is when he fights Nezha, then breaks the shield surrounding the map. The whole process as well as the explosion of the shield breaking injures Sun Wukong to the point that he’s in visible pain.

And b). Even when he’s under a time crunch, Sun Wukong has to fight Nezha to a stand-still and pin him down with several of his clones. He has to excert force to break the shield until it shatters. There’s no last second burst of strength, no triumphant crash.

Of course, Sun Wukong knows his power. He spent years, later centuries to master them. He knows how to use them safely or else he’d have accidentally hurt one of his monkies or friends before.

Where my thoughts went, later solidied because of @ninja-knox-ur-sox-off, is that this level of restraint plus control seen in Lego Monkie Kid maybe exists because both of training and experience, and a specific mindet. I feel that Sun Wukong has created a system of mental blocks that allot him a percentage of his power for any situation. It depends on how he perceives a situation with how fast he can switch between levels.

This also affects how sturdy his body is. He can’t separate the strength of his body from the rest of his powers. So how physically vulnerable he’s to various kinds of attacks depends on his ‘power levels’ as well and how much energy funnels into his body.

When I say mental blocks, I mean that in the psychological sense. Sun Wukong’s mind will stop him from using his power when even one part of him still believes he can use less. Has to use less until there’s no other option anymore. So switching to a smaller percentage is always easier than the other way around.

His amount of power switches smoothly when it comes to daily life on Flower Fruit Mountain, interacting with mortal people, teaching Qi Xiaotian, etc.

Sun Wukong knows what amount of power is safe to use against Qi Xiaotian in spars. It’s supposed to be a safe space for the young man to learn in a controlled and relaxed manner how to use his own powers. He wants him to feel comfortable while learning, which includes feeling comfortable around him. He wants Qi Xiaotian to like him so he shows perfect control.

The next level encompasses what I call ‘crisis mode’. Sun Wukong accesses this one during surprise attacks as well as battles where his ‘normal’ strength isn’t enough. The switch comes easiest when it comes to Qi Xiaotian's safety.

The next level up requires an opponent of DBK or Nezha’s calibre.

Going beyond this threshold is the most difficult. Sun Wukong conditioned himself to treat this as a ‘hard’ limit to his powers. It doesn’t matter if he’s struggling or getting hurt. It doesn’t matter that it would make certain battles easier. He is unable to pass that barrier even if he wanted to. Even if he or others are in danger.

I might go into the ‘why’ of this belief in another post.

(And then the pen-ultimate climax of season 3 happens, and Sun Wukong decides there’s no other option anymore than to fight the White Bone Demon on his own with his full powers.)

#lego sun wukong #lego monkie kid #monkie kid #lego monkie kid headcanon #monkie kid headcanons #lego monkie kid season 3 spoilers #monkie kid season 3 spoilers #lego monkie kid season 2 spoilers #monkie kid season 2 spoilers

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crowning-art · 1 year

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TGCF SPOILERS

-------------------------------------------------------------

ok, ok Ok OK

OK I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY FOR TODAY'S READ OH MY GOD WHAT IN THE ABSOLUTE HELL WHAT EVEN

ok no, let's get through this calmly EFNOENFOEINF I DUNNO HOW I"LL DO THAT BUT OK

YALL NO WAY NO WAY

NO FREAKING WAY

HE DID IT!!! THE RED STEING OF FATE!! MY MAN'S NOT ONLY PULLED UP THE STRING, BUT TIED IT HIMSELF AROUND XIE LIAN'S FINGER

I AM SKREICHING RJFNFJF UGH I CANT EVEN SPELL IM LOSING MY MIND RN

On the third finger of his left hand was a very thin red string, and it was Hua Cheng who had personally tied it on him. This red string also extended out, long and ceaselessly connecting with the red string knotted around Hua Cheng’s finger.

Hua Cheng raised his own hand and showed him the tiny red butterfly knot that was now identical on both their fingers. He smiled.

“Now we’re joined together.

HE TOOK FATE IN HIS OWN HANDS AND CHOSE HIS OWN SOULMATE OH MY GOD DJXJXJCJXJNC

But then, to crush my spirits....

This string won’t break, and won’t grow shorter. If the string doesn’t break, then it means the person on the other end is alright. Unless the person is no more, otherwise, this string will for sure lead to the other.”

“What do you mean ‘no more’?” Xie Lian asked.

“Dead, or dissipated,” Hua Cheng explained

I dunno why but I don't like the implications of this....Hua Cheng MY BOI MY PAL I SAW FANART OF YOU BECOMING A LITTLE GHOST OR SMT I DUNNO U BETTER NOT BREAK THIS STRING DONT U DARE MAKE THIS FORSHADOWING

Heheheh live reaction of me reading this section:

Just then, a hand suddenly stretched out, seizing his wrist without fault. Xie Lian was alarmed.

“WHO?!”

The moment he opened his mouth it was filled with a mouthful of mud, and he spat it out miserably. As for that hand, it clutched him and pulled, pulling him into someone’s arms, a familiar voice coming from above his head.

“Gege, it’s me!”

Hearing that voice, Xie Lian’s entire person relaxed. He hugged the other tightly, blurting,

“…Thank goodness, the red string didn’t break. I really did find you!”

Hua Cheng also embraced him back tightly, speaking with conviction, “It didn’t break! I’ve found you too.”

‐-------------

Ok FUN TIMES ARE OVER NOW GOODBYE CUTESY STUFF WELCOME DREADFUL AND TRAGIC STUFF

Me reading Yin Yu and Qi Ying's story:

So first of all, BABY QI YING IS SO DAMN CUTE?? AND FOR WHAT????? all like YA LETS FIGHT!! and he's raising his itty bitty cutie patootie little fists and he's acc so adorable oh my god

Yin Yu took a look at the child sitting on the ground, and he crouched down. Before he even opened his mouth, this little child scooped a handful of mud and threw it at his face, his expression still excited.

Ok, this line deserves a whole essay

There must be “fanaticism” towards something before one can achieve a state of “godly”.

Like that absolute truth of the matter?? The obsession one has with anything makes them go into such nitty gritty details and observe patterns that others would overlook simply on account of FANATICISM, yknow? And it's so explicitly seen in everything from master chefs to world renowned artists to the most brilliant of scientists. Truly to be a master, you must have a madness and obsession for the craft first.

Truly one of my favorite lines in the book so far

Haha when I read this part, I had a mental image of Xie Lian and Hua Cheng sitting in a theater eating popcorn and Xie Lian is like ohhhhhh can we watch this part too lmao

Watching up to this point, Xie Lian commented, “People really shouldn’t joke lightly.”

“Indeed,” Hua Cheng said. “Half a year later when Quan Yizhen actually ascends, he won’t find it so funny anymore.”

“Can we watch that part too?” Xie Lian asked.

“We can. Hold on,” Hua Cheng replied.

This was kinda cute but I guess knowing everything now, just kinda sad...

Xie Lian had also heard that Yin Yu, as shixiong, would always gift Quan Yizhen a present on his birthdays.

ABSOLUTE MOOD JIAN YU LMAOOOOO

He called out to Jian Yu, “Help me find something, quick, something that can temporarily be used as a gift.”

Jian Yu grabbed a rag cloth and threw it onto the ground. He stomped at it twice before saying hatefully, “Give this to him."

Ok but I'm seeing such a contrasting yet parallel relationship between beefleaf and Qi Ying and Yin Yu. I will probably talk about that more next time because it's a lot lol but like this is such an excellent example of it (that I will explain later lmao)

Yin Yu’s smile became stiffer. What he couldn’t take on, Quan Yizhen took on so effortlessly.

This was very much like a situation where you just couldn’t win over a girl you loved, and she ignored you completely, but when she ran into the arms of someone else in tears, this someone else couldn’t even be bothered to spare her a look and instead turned around to tell you how she was only average, nothing to be amazed by. Truly, what a bitter feeling.

God yes I truly understood exactly how Xie Lian felt because it was so agonizing and awkward to watch everything go down between the oblivious Qi Ying and the slowly maddening Yin Yu....

And like the part where he tells him GO DIE and everything that happened after and the instant regret and broken feeling Yin Yu went through and just he gave and gave and gave and gave and got nothing while Qi Ying got everything and more and frustration of watching him act like nothing happened because suddenly it makes YOU look like you're the jerk and that youre just being over dramatic and the absolute hate that started festering simply on account of outside influence from the other disciples and later on, the heavenly court (or maybe outside influence was just an excuse and the problem lay dormant within) and to have your hubris and jealousy and pride ruin what was good or so you thought and suddenly you go back and think about all the past memories and it's like wait, was it ever good a-

Ok I'll stop lol

Quan Yizhen was still very confused. He looked back and saw Yin Yu sitting on the ground, so he crawled to stand up, seeming to want to help him up. Seeing that completely oblivious face matched with a background of his smashed divine palace, Yin Yu was still silent but his face was slowly contorting.

Quan Yizhen didn’t know what transpired at all, and asked, “Shixiong, what are you doing?”

“…”

It was like Yin Yu suddenly lost all sanity. He puffed an abrupt laugh, then shouted with eyes brimming red:

“GO DIE!”

I just... really feel for both parties, yknow? And back to classic statement I keep saying, who can u even blame? Whose at fault? Nothing is black and white here, it never was and never will be....

ALSO

I called it

I CALLED IT

I CALLED IT AND I FINALLY GOT SMT RIGHT FOR ONCE AND IM SO HAPPY BUT SO CONFUSED BUT SO HAPPY CUZ I GOT IT RIGHT HAHA I KNEW WE WOULD SEE MORE XIANLE PEEPS DJJXJC

He twitched his lips and muttered without a sound, “Guoshi?!”

The person on the other side of the stone wall had the exact same voice as the esteemed master who once taught him in the Kingdom of Xianle.

But also....WTF???? UMMM WHY IS HE HERE??? WHATS GOING ON???? IS MY WUYONG THEORY CORRECT??? I DONT EVEN KNOW WHICH ONE BUT IS IT CORRECT??? CUZ LIKE JUN W-

(Fineeee i won't speak of Jun Wu again, but like alsooooo he's sooooo a part of something I can't help it and I just don't know what it is AND ITS BOTHERING ME BEYOND WORDS)

#tian guan ci fu #tgcf spoilers #tgcf #heaven's official blessings spoilers #hua cheng #xie lian #heaven’s official blessings #tgcf journey #yin yu #quan yizhen #ch 158-162

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bloody-bee-tea · 3 years

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Raise

Ever since he and Nie Mingjue broke up, Jiang Cheng has only been going through the motions. He’s still fulfilling his duties as a Sect Leader—his pride in his Sect won’t allow him to do anything else—but that’s about it.

There’s nothing in life to take enjoyment from anymore and Jiang Cheng feels a lot like he did right after the war, except with less existential dread. But he’s lost and unmoored and he doesn’t know what to do.

He hates it a little bit that Nie Mingjue still has this kind of power over him, but mostly he’s just fucking devastated.

Now he understands his sister and her tears and her sad smiles a bit better.

Getting your heart broken really is the worse and Jiang Cheng guesses it doesn’t help that at least he knows that Nie Mingjue felt the same for him.

Jin Zixuan was a complete asshole to his sister, which must have made it a little bit easier Jiang Cheng hopes, because he wishes this for no one.

When he realizes that he lost himself yet again in his own head, he scoffs. It’s been happening a lot lately, and usually all of his thoughts turn to Nie Mingjue but he can’t afford to slack off.

No matter what his second in command keeps telling him on a daily basis.

If Jiang Cheng would take a day for himself, he wouldn’t do anything but wallow in his misery anyway, and he prefers working over doing that.

So he goes on, and on, one letter after the other, until he made a considerable dent into the stack that built itself up during his last weeks with Nie Mingjue.

Jiang Cheng grinds his teeth together when he realizes that he’s yet again thinking about the other man and he slams his hand on the table in his rage.

He really wonders just how long this will go on; how long he will be haunted by the thought of Nie Mingjue. Right now, he hears Nie Mingjue’s laugh echo in the hallways they frequently walked together, he feels Nie Mingjue’s phantom touch on his shoulder whenever he sits hunched over some work for too long, and he still feels all the love Nie Mingjue had for him.

But duty comes first, Jiang Cheng understands that. He doesn’t have to like it, but he understands.

“You can’t just—no, wait,” Jiang Cheng suddenly hears from outside and he lifts his head a second before someone barges into his study.

“You fucking asshole,” is what Nie Huaisang greets him with and Jiang Cheng knew that the break-up would throw a little bit of a wrench into their friendship, but he didn’t expect this.

“Huaisang,” he still greets his old friend, but he figures he shouldn’t have when Nie Huaisang glares at him, clearly too agitated to even get his fan out.

“Do not even dare,” Nie Huaisang hisses. “You absolute fucking asshole. You said you would love him!”

“I do,” Jiang Cheng says with a sigh, getting up to close the door behind Nie Huaisang, hoping that not all of Lotus Pier heard him yet.

“Yeah, I can tell,” Nie Huaisang sarcastically gives back. “It’s so very evident in the way you broke up with him.”

“Don’t be unfair,” Jiang Cheng whispers, but he can’t meet Nie Huaisang’s eyes.

It still hurts too much.

“Unfair. Unfair! The only one being unfair here is you!”

“Huaisang,” Jiang Cheng snaps, now slowly getting angry himself.

He can understand the protective instinct of a sibling, but this is really going to far. It’s not Jiang Cheng’s fault, and he didn’t actually want to break up with Nie Mingjue, but since it was what Nie Mingjue had wanted, he had done it.

And it seemed unfair to be attacked over this now.

“No. I’m going to ruin you,” Nie Huaisang lowly says and while usually Jiang Cheng wouldn’t give much thought to a threat like this, he knows that if Nie Huaisang really wants to, he will.

Going by the glare Jiang Cheng gets, Nie Huaisang really wants to.

“Why? It’s not my fault,” Jiang Cheng snaps at him and Nie Huaisang laughs right in his face.

“Right, not your fault. Of course not. How could it be? You’re just the guy who broke up with my brother.”

“Because he wanted to!” Jiang Cheng shouts at him, his heart still hurting so damn much and that at least is enough to shut Nie Huaisang up for a few seconds.

“He wanted to,” Nie Huaisang lowly repeats. “That’s what you’re going with? Really?”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Jiang Cheng asks, suddenly drained of all energy and he goes to sit back down at the table.

He doesn’t want to fight with Nie Huaisang and he doesn’t want to do it while standing up, and all he really wants to do is go crawl into bed with Nie Mingjue and curl up against his chest, but it’s not like he’ll ever be able to do that again.

“My brother finally opens up to you about the qi deviations and your first instinct is to run away and break up with him? And now you’re trying to twist it like it was actually his idea? You’re really something else, Jiang-zongzhu. I thought better of you.”

“That’s not what happened, Huaisang,” Jiang Cheng says with a small frown, because Jiang Cheng remembers that conversation a lot differently, and he was actually present.

“Then enlighten me,” Nie Huaisang hisses. “What did happen?”

Jiang Cheng desperately doesn’t want to speak about it—the pain still too near and fresh—but Nie Huaisang is levelling him with a look that promises pain and absolute ruin if Jiang Cheng doesn’t start speaking like five seconds ago and so he sighs.

“He told me about the qi deviations,” Jiang Cheng says, because so far they are on the same page. “That he’ll die soon and young and violently.”

“And you left him for it,” Nie Huaisang says with a nod, as if there could be no doubt about it.

“I love him. Do you really think that low of me?” Jiang Cheng asks, a new kind of hurt finding its place in his chest.

Jiang Cheng thought he was long over being hurt by people being disappointed in him, but it seems like he was wrong.

“Seeing as he is back home, absolutely devastated and you’re going on like nothing happened, I think the only possible answer can be yes,” Nie Huaisang sneers at him and Jiang Cheng sees red.

“I have to do this,” Jiang Cheng yells and shoots up. “I have to because if I don’t keep busy, if I don’t distract myself, I’ll be a fucking shell. I want to do nothing more than to crawl into bed and cry for a good week but what good is that going to do me? It’s not going to get me Mingjue back and my Sect actually still needs me. I was miserable all through the war and for a good while after and I don’t want to feel like that again. And besides; he made his choice. What use is there for me to cry after him.”

“He made his choice? The audacity you have! And don’t raise your voice at me like that,” Nie Huaisang gives back, clearly unfazed by Jiang Cheng’s explosion and it cuts all of Jiang Cheng’s strings.

It doesn’t matter what he tells Nie Huaisang, he realizes. He has his mind already made up.

“He told me about the qi deviations and that his Sect must come first,” Jiang Cheng still mutters. “He needs an heir.”

Jiang Cheng barely gets the words out, and he hates himself a little for how his eyes well up almost immediately. It’s been almost a week by now and the words still hurt as much as they did when they left Nie Mingjue’s mouth.

In front of him, Nie Huaisang freezes.

“What?”

“He said he needs to prepare, that he needs someone to take over eventually. It’s not that hard to understand his meaning,” Jiang Cheng whispers.

Nie Mingjue needs an heir. And for that he needs a wife. It’s as easy as that.

“Did he say it like that?” Nie Huaisang asks and Jiang Cheng nods miserably.

“That fucking idiot,” Nie Huaisang mutters and finally sits down himself, slamming his fan on the table. “Listen here, Wanyin,” he says and Jiang Cheng wonders when he switched back to being Wanyin again.

“I’m listening,” Jiang Cheng says because clearly Nie Huaisang is waiting for a response from him.

Though he’s not quite sure he can take any more accusations today.

“My brother is an idiot,” Nie Huaisang solemnly says and Jiang Cheng fights the immediate urge to defend Nie Mingjue.

He’s not sure he still has that right.

“Why?” he asks instead, because it seems like the safer option.

“I am his heir,” Nie Huaisang tells him and Jiang Cheng goes very still. “When father died and da-ge decided to not take a wife, they wrote that down somewhere. I’m to inherit the Sect should anything happen to my brother.”

“He—it didn’t sound like that when we talked,” Jiang Cheng carefully says.

It makes no sense. Nie Mingjue had looked sad as he had said that he needs to prepare. Why would he look sad if he already has an heir.

“There was sadness on his face when he said it,” Jiang Cheng weakly goes on, because he still remembers that look and it cuts him just as much as it did then.

“It was probably regret. Da-ge wanted to give me an intensive few months of Sect Leader training, so that he could hand off the reigns sooner, before his qi deviations get really bad. He resolved himself to not see you during those months, because he said you distract him too much.”

“No, he—” Jiang Cheng starts, putting his head in his hands. “That’s not how that conversation went.”

“Clearly, it’s not,” Nie Huaisang says drily. “But we both know da-ge and we know you. Both of you tend to draw your own conclusions. Da-ge thought he made himself perfectly clear—asking for a few months with nothing but letters for contact—and you thought he was breaking up with you. I can see where you would get that idea from, don’t take me wrong—da-ge is horribly bad at wording things—but it’s not what he wanted. He’s moping and heartbroken at home. I didn’t even get any training yet.”

“You hate training,” Jiang Cheng mutters, his head spinning.

“I like logistics and getting people to do what I want,” Nie Huaisang corrects. “And I would like my brother to be happy again,” he tacks on, with a raised eyebrow.

Jiang Cheng swallows.

“He doesn’t want to take a wife?” he asks, just to make sure. “He doesn’t want to sire an heir?”

“He does want to adopt a kid with the guy he had been courting for a while,” Nie Huaisang says, absolutely nonchalant as if it’s not blowing Jiang Cheng’s mind to hear that Nie Mingjue thought about a little family of their own.

“Really?” Jiang Cheng asks, his voice full of hope and his heart hammering away in his chest.

“Really,” Nie Huaisang assures him, finally picking up his fan and flicking it open with the by now so familiar gesture.

“I think I have to cut your visit here short, then,” Jiang Cheng says, already scrambling to his feet.

“You go on ahead,” Nie Huaisang waves him off, draping himself over the table. “The flight here was way too exhausting for me.”

“Sure,” Jiang Cheng says, rolling his eyes, but not actually bothering to convince Nie Huaisang.

If he flies alone he can push himself as much as he wants, and then he gets to see Nie Mingjue sooner.

~*~*~

Jiang Cheng doesn’t bother to announce his arrival and Nie Mingjue’s disciples clearly don’t deem it necessary to do it, either, it seems, because Jiang Cheng simply barges into Nie Mingjue’s quarters without anyone telling him.

“What are you doing here?” Nie Mingjue asks him, his voice rough and Jiang Cheng sees the dark circles under his eyes and how pale he is.

It seems they both didn’t deal well with the temporary break-up.

“Huaisang invaded Lotus Pier,” Jiang Cheng tells him and Nie Mingjue immediately draws himself up.

“Whatever he said, don’t listen to him. I respect your choice,” Nie Mingjue reassures him and Jiang Cheng wants to go to him and hug him and kiss him, but for now he simply rolls his eyes.

“He said there was a misunderstanding.”

“A what?”

“You said you need someone to take over the Sect. You never mentioned Huaisang. I thought you meant you want to take a wife,” Jiang Cheng explains in as little words as possible, because he is dying with the urge to finally get his hands on Nie Mingjue again.

“A wife,” Nie Mingjue repeats and blinks. “If anything she would be the second wife, because I intent to marry you.”

Jiang Cheng flushes bright red at that, but his heart is dancing in his chest. With happiness, for a change.

“Yeah, I should hope so,” Jiang Cheng says and dares to step closer. “But I understand duty to your Sect and so when you said it like that—”

“You thought I would ask you to step back so I can focus on my Sect. You would have allowed me to take a wife?” Nie Mingjue asks and Jiang Cheng shrugs.

“Duty comes first,” he says because if he learned anything in his youth then it’s that. “I understand that. I didn’t like it, but it sounded sensible to me.”

“Nothing about that is sensible, I love you, what the hell would I ever do without you?”

Find someone else to love, Jiang Cheng wants to say, but Nie Mingjue doesn’t let him, because with two big steps he’s right in front of him and he doesn’t hesitate to crush Jiang Cheng to his chest.

“What would I even do without my heart?” he whispers again and Jiang Cheng’s resolve is broken.

He slings his arms around Nie Mingjue and presses himself as close as he can get, his breath leaving him in shuddering bursts.

“I didn’t like it,” Jiang Cheng chokes out. “I missed you so much. I love you.”

“Never think something like this again,” Nie Mingjue begs him. “I would never do that to you, not for any duty in the world.”

“Okay,” Jiang Cheng weakly says and Nie Mingjue presses a kiss to his head.

“Not for any duty,” he repeats and Jiang Cheng nods.

“Okay, alright,” he gets out, his voice choked up with tears.

For once they are tears of happiness because he’s finally back where he belongs.

Link to my ko-fi

#bt writes #mingcheng #the untamed #mdzs #angst #misunderstandings #temporary break-up #getting back together #hurt/comfort #nmj is alive #nhs is the best friend #and brother #and he will not let either of them forget it

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foxghost · 3 years

Text

Joyful Reunion, Chapter 112

Translator: foxghost @foxghost tumblr/ko-fi1 Beta: meet-me-in-oblivion @meet-me-in-oblivion tumblr Original by 非天夜翔 Fei Tian Ye Xiang Masterpost | Characters, Maps & Other Reference Index

Book 3, Chapter 24 (Part 7)

Right there behind the stone statue at the top of the stairs is a wide platform, and behind the platform is a set of derelict buildings stacked out of bricks. It’s eerily quiet on top of the platform as it’s little frequented, and green creeper vines have climbed all the way up from the base of the foundations miles below. Nothing marks the years’ passing in the mountains, as though time itself is frozen here.

“Is this where you trained?” Duan Ling asks.

“Yes. This is White Tiger Hall,” Wu Du replies, climbing the steps with Duan Ling until they’re before the great hall. A plaque is barely hanging on high above them with three characters written in ancient seal script: White Tiger Hall.

“We’ll sleep here tonight. It may still be a bit cold in the mountains, but I think …”

“That’s quite alright,” Duan Ling replies, standing in front of the great hall, he stretches, facing the green hills beyond and their misty clouds. It reminds him of a line of poetry: my mind expands to take in this expanse of clouds; the sight of homecoming birds stretches the edge of my vision.2 From the moment they left Jiangzhou he’s enjoyed the first true days of leaving all his worries behind. Here, he doesn’t have to worry about anyone coming to kill him, and neither does he have to worry about saying anything by accident that can get him killed. They can sleep soundly and let themselves relax.

He turns back to glance at Wu Du. Wu Du is inside the great hall, sweeping the stone paths clean. When he finds a bird’s nest on a chair, he picks up the nest and wipes down the chair before putting it back.

“Eh?” Duan Ling spies a small animal dodging behind a pillar and walks quickly over. It’s a squirrel. When it hears footsteps it stops, turns around, and hesitatingly stares at Duan Ling.

“Animals in the mountains aren’t afraid of people,” Wu Du explains.

“Are there other people here?”

“No. Even back then it was just me, my master, his wife, and Shijie.”

Recalling the Xunchun who lost her life in Shangjing, Duan Ling lets out a sigh.

Once Wu Du finishes cleaning he adds, “Duan Ling, come. Let’s go meet the White Tiger.”

Duan Ling walks to the centre of the main hall, and looks up at a white tiger carved out of white marble enshrined in the altar. Its eyes are sunken as if gems used to be set in them, but they’re long lost, presumably stolen by thieves. A mottled, dilapidated mural of “A Thousand Miles of Rivers and Mountains”3 has been painted on the wall behind it, with seven Weiqi pieces carved out of marble inlaid into the mural.4

“I’m the seventeenth generation disciple, successor of the lineage of poison,” Wu Du says to the white tiger statue, “current leader of the White Tiger Hall, Wu Du. I’m here today with the crown prince of the central plains.”

Duan Ling cannot help but be awestruck, and his back straightens at Wu Du’s words. Wu Du stands tall in front of the statue, holding the index and middle fingers of his left hand to the back of his right hand to bow as a part of a special ritual on his pilgrimage to the White Tiger. "Lord White Tiger, please bless …

“What’re you called again?” Wu Du pauses to ask Duan Ling.

“What?”

“Your name.”

Duan Ling stares at Wu Du speechlessly. Wu Du stares silently back.

“What kind of a sect leader are you?” Duan Ling doesn’t even know what to tell him.

Wu Du whines, “That day you shocked me right out of my head, so how was I supposed to remember anything? Say it already.”

“Li Ruo, here to pay my respects,” Duan Ling takes one step forward. He knows that the White Tiger constellation is the god of soldiers and warfare, in control of everything that has to do with slaughter. He bows. “I pray for Great Chen to triumph in every battle, to be victorious in every war.”

Wu Du cracks a grin, and turns to the statue. “I pray you’ll bless and protect the crown prince of Great Chen, Li Ruo, and to allow him a smooth return to the imperial court.”

They each finish talking to the White Tiger, and afterwards, they look up together in silence, staring at the statue with its missing eyes. A draft brushes them by, pouring from the back of the main hall and rushing out the entrance, setting the fringes of their robes fluttering — as if a fierce tiger has just crossed the forest, setting all the leaves in the trees rustling.

“Where did its eyes go?” Duan Ling asks Wu Du.

“No idea. It’s never had them as far as I can remember, so they must have been dug out long ago. Its eyes can’t see, but it can hear just fine.”

Duan Ling thinks, sounds like that’s true. Perhaps the breeze was its instruction.

Duan Ling has never had so much free time in his life before. That very afternoon, Wu Du takes the stairs down the mountain again to move the bedding and food from their boat to their lodgings. Duan Ling offers to help, but Wu Du just tells him to rest. As soon as he puts the stuff down on the platform he’s off again to the boat for more.

White Tiger Hall has a rear courtyard with a set of houses sectioned into east and west wings, while the main house was the place where Wu Du’s master and his wife used to live. Duan Ling spots an alchemy furnace, still filled with solidified cinnabar and some medicaments, a mixture of something now pitch black. The west wing is Xunchun’s room. Duan Ling opens the door and peers inside to find it filled with cobwebs and dust, devoid of anything else. The east wing is Wu Du’s room. It has one bed, two wooden shelves filled with old things, piled high with worn-eaten ancient tomes.

“What a pity,” Duan Ling says, “you had this many rare hand-copied books, but they got so damaged. Aren’t you worried that the knowledge will be lost?”

Wu Du has drawn water from a creek behind the main hall, and he’s cleaning the house with his sleeves rolled up. "Everyone’s gone. Whether the martial arts knowledge is passed on or lost, there’s no one left to care about that anymore.”

“What’s in here?”

“The elixirs master refined ages ago. He’d always wanted to live forever, follow the Dao and become an immortal. He used to be just fine, but after eating too much of that stuff he couldn’t even fight anymore. When the capital was under attack he took his wife with him and got off the mountain to reinforce the troops, and he should have been able to escape unscathed, but whatever blasted elixir he took stopped his qi from flowing when he needed it, and the Khitans shot him to death.”

“Where’s he buried? Should we go visit his grave?”

“The cenotaph is back there. After the capital was taken by Khitans, Shijie had someone bring back his clothes. We’ll go if we have time. There’s no hurry.”

Together, Duan Ling and Wu Du clean up the room. Wu Du says, “I don’t need any of that stuff. Just toss it all out.”

“No no, they’re too valuable.”

“I’m keeping it all in my head, you know. Don’t flip through them now, they’re dusty. If you do that you’ll sneeze.”

Duan Ling sneezes dramatically more than a dozen times before he manages to reorganise Wu Du’s books, putting them away nicely on the shelves. He plans to make a copy of everything when he has time, and that way it’ll help keep White Tiger Hall’s knowledge intact.

It’s getting closer to dusk. Wu Du has half finished cleaning the place. He gets a fire started then, and begins making dinner for Duan Ling.

Watching Wu Du busying himself, Duan Ling feels as though he’s back to being a little kid again. He recalls those words once said to him: there will always be people who disregard all else to be good to you, no matter who you are. If I’m not the crown prince of Southern Chen, would Wu Du still have brought me here?

Duan Ling ponders this, and comes to the conclusion that Wu Du probably would.

Spotting an antique, worn-out case under the shelves in the room, Duan Ling bends down to open the lock. Once it’s opened, he discovers that it’s filled with wooden puppets of horses and people, carved with a small knife. They must have been toys carved by Wu Du for himself when he was all alone as a little kid. Underneath the toys is a red cloth sack, and Duan Ling’s about to open it when Wu Du notices and says, “Um … Don’t touch that!”

Thinking that it’s some deadly poison, Duan Ling quickly puts it back, but Wu Du is hurrying into the room, a crimson blush in his cheeks as he puts the cloth sack back in the lowest level of the case.

“What’s that?”

“It’s nothing.” Wu Du looks a bit embarrassed, which only serves to make Duan Ling even more curious and to keep pestering him. Self-conscious, Wu Du leaves for the kitchen to get more water so he can start steaming the fish, but Duan Ling follows him around the whole time until he gives up under the badgering. “It’s a baby wrap.”

Duan Ling pauses for a moment before he breaks out in side-splitting laughter. Wu Du sounds a bit irritated. “Don’t laugh!”

A thought occurs to Duan Ling and he thinks he understands. “You wore it when you were little?”

“Yeah,” Wu Du replies, “when the master’s wife found me, that cloth was the only thing on my person.”

“Was there a birth certificate? Your parents’ names?”

“No idea. Even if there was one, my master would have burned it.” Wu Du says without minding him, “Assassins can’t have mom and dad.”

“Doesn’t that mean you wouldn’t know when your birthday is?”

“Well let’s just treat … the day she found me as my birthday.”

Duan Ling only comes to that realisation then. “Which day is it?”

Wu Du doesn’t say anything, and Duan Ling seems about to press him, so Wu Du can but tell him, “I’ll tell you when it comes up.”

Duan Ling stretches out his pinkie, and so Wu Du gives it a little shake with his own. “Go wait for dinner, but don’t run off. Maybe no one is going to kill you here but getting lost in the mountains is no joke.”

Wu Du limits Duan Ling’s roaming range to the area between the stone steps and plank walkways, extending all the way to the platform, and he can wander through the buildings of White Tiger Hall as well, but he can’t go to the mountains behind the halls. Duan Ling walks to the edge of the platform to view the clouds, where they flow like an ocean in the mountains; the mist has risen, and in the mountains it’s as quiet as the land of the immortals.

The racket and prosperity of Jiangzhou, the strife between people — all of it can be left behind for now. They all feel like nothing more than a dream Duan Ling had during an afternoon nap.

If he can stay here for the rest of his life, maybe no one will ever be able to find them?

If he stays here for the rest of his life, maybe he won’t ever have to worry about anything else anymore.

An idea occurs to Duan Ling as he stares out at the cloud sea. If he’s able to accomplish all his goals and retire in comfort someday, this will be his final and only resting place. After experiencing so much, there’s nothing happier than to live the rest of his life in peace, with someone by his side … as he thinks this he turns to look back inside White Tiger Hall. Wu Du just happens to be banging some metal together to make a clanging noise, letting him know that it’s time for dinner.

“Scram! I’ll hit you!”

As Duan Ling heads inside, he sees Wu Du scaring off a monkey that’s come out of nowhere. The monkey wants to come closer and beg him for some food, but it doesn’t dare get too close. It stares at Wu Du with wide puppy eyes, then it turns them on Duan Ling. Duan Ling can’t help but laugh soundly, tossing it a bit of dry rations. The monkey immediately grabs it and runs off.

“There’s another one over there.” Duan Ling looks around and finds the big monkey rushing to give another, smaller monkey the food after it successfully begged for some.

“If you want food, eke out a living for yourself.” Wu Du jokes around. “If you want to be lord and master of the household, you’ve got to support your family.” Then Wu Du pushes against the great doors with his shoulder to close them.

During the evening, a solitary lamp swings back and forth in the mountain breeze, and beneath it the two of them have rice with plates of side dishes, along with the live fish they bought on the river. There’s even a couple of cups of wine to go with it.

After they finish drinking, Wu Du says to Duan Ling, “I’m going to take you somewhere. Let’s go.”

It happens to be a full moon tonight. Wu Du takes Duan Ling towards the mountains behind the halls, and they turn a corner through a narrow path, coming to the other side of the mountain where the sky seems to open up; the desolate wilderness of the mountains makes the moon look even brighter, and silvery light fills their vision.

Lit by moonlight, throughout the mountains, this is the only place planted full of peach trees; out in the mortal world peach blossom season has reached its end, but in the mountain temples they’re in full bloom. Amidst the mountain ranges the peach blossoms bloom in brilliant clusters, and the mountain breeze takes millions of petals off their branches to flutter beneath a bright moon.

“What do you think?” Wu Du asks with a smile.

Duan Ling is nearly unable to get any words out at all; he stares in a daze at the scenery before him.

“Only for about ten days every year,” Wu Du says, “do you get a view like this.”

“It’s too beautiful.”

Wu Du comes over to him, and they sit down on a rock together. He takes out his flute, and holds it to his lips. Music rings out, and in that instant, Joyful Reunion once more drags Duan Ling’s mind back into the faraway past.

When the song ends, Duan Ling and Wu Du quietly meet each other’s eyes.

Wu Du’s lips move imperceptibly, his breathing growing slightly urgent, and wearing nothing but an unlined robe and short pants, he’s sitting quite close to Duan Ling on the rock. Moonlight spills onto their snow white underclothes, and Duan Ling can vaguely make out the rugged and beautiful lines of Wu Du’s body.

“Duan Ling,” Wu Du says suddenly, “I … have something I want to say to you.”

Without knowing the reason for it at all, Duan Ling is starting to feel tense as well. “Wha—what?”

Wu Du looks down at him. They’re both quiet for at least several breaths, but then Wu Du is turning away to look towards the mountain streams, then up at the bright moon above, seemingly on edge.

“What did you want to say?” Duan Ling reaches out, his hand folding over the back of Wu Du’s hand, but Wu Du has turned his hand over to hold onto his.

“Do you …” Wu Du turns the thought over and over in his head before he appears to make up his mind and asks, “Do you like it here?”

Duan Ling smiles, and it’s like a million peach flowers blooming beneath the moonlight, how brilliant their blossoms.

“Earlier today I was just thinking,” Duan Ling tugs on Wu Du’s hand, “maybe someday I’ll just live here in the White Tiger Hall and never go back to the earthly world.”

“Oh no no,” Wu Du says immediately, “now that won’t do. I … you …”

“Yeah.” Duan Ling thinks about his duty, and that’s bound to be a heavy subject. He jests, “It’s just a thought.”

“No, that’s not …” Wu Du collects himself and says, “What I was thinking is that … aside from this place, I also want to take you … other places. And if you want … you can … take your time to pick, pick the place you love the most … anywhere is fine. The edge of the oceans, the ends of the earth, as long as you want to be there, I’ll be at your side.”

Duan Ling stares at him in startled silence.

“I … What I’m thinking is …” Wu Du doesn’t dare look at Duan Ling, and he can only stare off anywhere else, his handsome face turning crimson to his collarbones; even the skin under his tattoo is glowing red like he’s been drinking. His grip on Duan Ling’s hand grows tighter subconsciously and he stammers through his speech.

“Afterwards, I’ll also take you … to all those places you want to see. I’ll take you to Diannan, take you to … see the ocean. You … Shan’er, that day … when you called me ‘milord’, I know maybe you were just joking, but I’ve taken you here because I wanted to ask you … if you’re willing to … for the rest of our lives …”

By now Wu Du has already calmed down. The words have already left his mouth so he’s not going to be nervy anymore.

“In front of other people, you and I will be as we always were.” Wu Du doesn’t know where his courage is coming from, but he’s staring into Duan Ling’s eyes as he says solemnly to him, "Even if you’ve returned to the imperial court, I don’t need you to make me anything official. As long as you still think of me as you do in your heart today, I will find you the Zhenshanhe and guard you for the rest of your life, until the day I die.

“I know that in the future you’ll become the emperor. But I really … really … really want to be … with you …”

As he says this he’s getting nervous again. “I think … if you’re willing, I’ll definitely treat you well. Whenever we’re alone and there’s no one else around, I’ll … treat you … treat you as I would treat … my wife, and you’ll … yield to me as you would …”

Duan Ling stares at Wu Du in a daze, and Wu Du realises now that he’s still squeezing on Duan Ling’s hand and hurriedly lets it go. He reaches into a pocket in his robe and takes out a string of beads.

Wu Du unfolded his fingers, holding the beads in front of Duan Ling, and he moves his hand forward a little, as though he’s a mere humble human being presenting a tribute he made with all his heart, in a gesture more reverent than making an offering to the gods of their world.

The tribute is a bracelet strung with rosary peas.

Duan Ling’s cheeks turn scarlet in an instant as he comes to realise what Wu Du has left unsaid — to his surprise, Wu Du is wooing him. Even before this Duan Ling has had a vague feeling that this is the case, and the present moment is reminding him of that evening as the sun was setting, and Wu Du had taken his hand and told him all those things in the maple forest.

In a flash, the Duan estate’s dark woodshed, the snowstorm oppressive above the frozen Yellow River, those unfamiliar and gloomy days in Shangjing, a war that shook the earth beneath him, a night of panicked escape that feels like it happened yesterday, that harsh winter in Luoyang, his father’s death … in his mind these memories all shatter one by one.

They were each alone in the world as children, and now they’re beneath a sky filled with fluttering peach petals, silently facing each other.

In place of those memories are all those dreams once promised to him in that endless river of time, all those colourful, dazzling hopes, with the life he wants to lead.

Duan Ling seems able to see himself, and he’s able to see Wu Du as well — the Wu Du who grew up orphaned and alone is finally all grown up, and has made his way to him.

Wu Du’s hands have once solemnly taken hold of the sword that represents the last of the central plains martial artists; they have also blocked the sword that came at him with a force great enough to shatter the firmament itself outside Tongguan. But now they’re somehow overtaken by a slight but uncontrollable trembling.

“I …” Duan Ling takes a deep breath as he tries his best to restrain the excitement rushing about in his heart, but he notices that he’s unable to say anything at all. When he raises his eyes to meet Wu Du’s though, it seems Wu Du has come to a different conclusion. Noting that Duan Ling hasn’t taken the bracelet from him, his expression grows sad, and forcing a smile tinged with agony, he nods as though he already knew this would be the answer.

But to his surprise, instead of taking Wu Du’s bracelet, Duan Ling has thrown his arms around Wu Du’s neck, and closing his eyes, he leans in and presses his lips to Wu Du’s.

A mountain breeze blows by, sending a rustling through the leaves; flower petals scatter to fly through the air.

Wu Du’s eyes widen, and his entire body freezes as though he’s been struck by lightning. Not daring to move an inch, he holds the pose with their lips touching. When he comes to himself in the next moment, he stares at Duan Ling, his heart beating madly in his chest.

The two of them pull apart and Duan Ling takes Wu Du’s bracelet from him. He grips it between his fingers, breathing rapidly, wanting to say something but has no idea where to begin. They’re both red in the face, blood rushing through their ears, but Duan Ling is wearing a small, shy smile on his face.

And yet in the next moment, without a word at all, Wu Du gets up and runs into the forest of peach trees.

“Wu Du?” Duan Ling calls him, but Wu Du isn’t stopping at all. In two shakes he’s run so far not even a shadow of him can be seen anymore.

Duan Ling stares into the dark speechlessly, no idea what’s happening, but when he chases over he finds Wu Du turning somersaults under a tree, following them with a sweeping kick and several punches, whipping up the leaves and flower petals so they flutter like a cloud around him.

Duan Ling laughs, and Wu Du suddenly turns around. When he realises that Duan Ling’s spotted him, he dodges behind a tree trunk.

Duan Ling puts on the bracelet. Meanwhile, Wu Du has closed his eyes with his back against a peach tree, revealing that slightly roguish yet captivating smile.

Duan Ling has no idea what he should say. It seems as though everything has changed through this one evening, and the scenery before him has taken on a special meaning. I actually kissed him earlier! Where did I find the courage to do that? Wu Du’s lips were scorching hot and soft, not at all the way he’d imagined them to be, and he’s still thinking about the sensation he had in the very instant he kissed him.

Wu Du turns his head to peer from behind the tree, and finds Duan Ling sitting on the rock, stock still, with his back to him, facing the mountain range and valleys beneath the moon.

Flute music begins again, but this time it’s an elated, cheerful melody. Duan Ling turns to look; Wu Du is standing beneath a tree, playing another tune that sounds like a folk song. A smile spreads over Duan Ling’s face.

“What song is that?”

When Wu Du finishes playing it, he puts the flute away and answers him with a smile, “Little Water Clock. I only ever heard the master’s wife play it once, so. I don’t even remember if that’s exactly how it goes.”5

Wu Du returns to his seat by Duan Ling’s side, and they look at each other, smiling without words.

Then, Wu Du turns a fraction, and reaches out to wrap his arm around Duan Ling’s waist. He puts his other hand over Duan Ling’s cheek, and with a slightest tilt of his head, he seals Duan Ling’s lips with a kiss.

Duan Ling touches Wu Du’s face; the bracelet is wrapped around that wrist.

This kiss lingers on and on, as though long suppressed emotions have finally breached the surface, and in the blink of an eye their feelings have transformed into a raging flood, thoroughly drowning them both.

Wu Du doesn’t want to let go of Duan Ling even for a moment; he has his arms wrapped around Duan Ling’s waist, and almost pressing him against the rock, licks into his mouth. Duan Ling feels his cheeks growing ever hotter under this assault, and as time drips by he’s more sure that Wu Du is growing more impertinent in his plunder.

Duan Ling really is getting way too nervous, and he can’t help but struggle. As he does, Wu Du loosens his hold on him and swallows, staring into his eyes as though he has also realised that he’s gone a bit overboard. He lets go of him at once and asks uneasily, “I didn’t … I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

Duan Ling shakes his head. He’s not sure why, but the scene he spied in the Bouquet Pavilion is surfacing in his mind again and it really is too exciting. However, he can’t seem to accept something like that just yet.

“Let’s … head back.” Duan Ling thinks that if they’re going to kiss then they’d better kiss indoors — at least they’ll have a roof over their heads.

Wu Du has come to his senses as well and says, “It’s windy, you better not catch a cold. Let’s go.”

Duan Ling and Wu Du slot their fingers together, and holding hands they stroll leisurely through the mountain paths back to the house.

“Mi … lord.” Duan Ling suddenly remembers what he called him, and smiles at the thought.

Wu Du is finding that funny as well, and the corner of his mouth is turning up before he knows it. His gaze goes from Duan Ling to the path before them, a narrow path passing through a boundless cloud sea, shimmery with moonlight, cutting through towering mountains.

As they go to sleep at night, Duan Ling can’t help reaching out to touch Wu Du’s chest, and they’re wrapped in each other’s embrace again; Wu Du leans in and kiss him cautiously, their bodies rubbing against each other through two thin layers of cloth, both of them growing scorchingly hot. It’s the first time Duan Ling has ever done anything like this, and it just happens to be spring when brand new desires are starting to bloom, while Wu Du has been studying the martial arts for years, and with no avenue of release for his longing, his breath burns him, wishing he could hold on to Duan Ling and simply have his way with him.

They kiss and kiss again; Wu Du’s hand slides under Duan Ling’s waistband, but when it goes over the curve of his hip and reaches his ass, Duan Ling starts to gasp urgently, and Wu Du swallows.

“Do I have to … to … do that?” Without warning, Duan Ling suddenly feels a bit scared.

Sobering, Wu Du thinks about this for a moment. “It’ll hurt you a lot, so not right now. Let’s do that some other time.”

Duan Ling nods and relaxes somewhat. He holds onto Wu Du, studying his features. Wu Du gives him another kiss and whispers, “I can’t bear to hurt you.”

And so Duan Ling smiles again. They’re pressed up against each other, with that hard thing between their legs rubbing together through the thin cloth of their pants. Even if it’s behind a sheet of fabric Duan Ling can still feel how big and hard Wu Du is — so much bigger than his own. Duan Ling just thinks it feels so good to rub against him like this, and he’s getting wet down there as he does so.

Wu Du’s breathing trembles, feeling so good he shivers all over, and soon enough he decides to simply turn them so that Duan Ling is beneath him, so that his weight is pressed down on Duan Ling as he kisses his lips, kisses the corner of his mouth.

After embracing each other for a while, they both somehow feel calmer, and neither of them say anything at all, just stare into each other’s eyes. Wu Du still can’t help smiling. “It’s like I’m dreaming.”

They’ve been kissing each other over and over yet Duan Ling isn’t prepared to do this or that … but he feels somewhat curious about it after all. “Does it really hurt a lot? Have you tried it?”

“I haven’t. Zheng Yan was the one who said that … yeah.”

“He’s tried it?”

Wu Du isn’t sure what he’s supposed to say to that. He reaches into Duan Ling’s shirt, touching him until it tickles. Duan Ling’s hands are behind Wu Du’s neck though, so he has no way of fighting back, and all he can do is beg for mercy repeatedly until Wu Du lets up. “He’s a ne’er do well who has a tendency to paw at pretty young men. I’ve been told that if you’re not careful it can hurt a lot. I don’t want you to develop a fear of it. When we get home I’ll get some … uh … at any rate I’ll take care of it. You don’t have to think about it anymore.”

Duan Ling understands now, and comes to think that is perhaps true. But he thinks that’s fine too — Wu Du’s tall figure pressing down against him gives him an overwhelming feeling of safety.

“I’ll take you home too, in the future,” Duan Ling whispers, his eyes roaming over Wu Du’s handsome features.

“You’ll go back some day.”

Wu Du thought Duan Ling was talking about the palace, but what Duan Ling meant was Xunyang. He’ll go there with Duan Ling at some point also. It’s springtime in Xunyang right now; the flowers must have already bloomed.

I do not monetise my hobby translations, but if you’d like to support my work generally or support my light novel habit, you can either buy me a coffee or commission me. This is also to note that if you see this message anywhere else than on tumblr, do come to my tumblr. It’s ad-free. ↩︎

From Du Fu’s poem, 望嶽 / “Mountain Gazing”. ↩︎

You can see the painting here. ↩︎

Also known as Go. ↩︎

The original here actually says Little Water Clock · Golden Hairpin, but the first part is the melody, while the second part is the lyrics. Golden Hairpin is a poem about love. ↩︎

#相見歡 #fei tian ye xiang #joyful reunion #xiang jian huan #fox translates things #probably shouldn't read this chapter in public

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no--envies · 3 years

Text

I've seen people suggest LXC is as guilty as everyone else for WWX's downfall and the murder of the Wen remnants, either because he knew they were just a bunch of weak and old people and didn't care, or because he was too naive and he should have gone to the Burial Mounds to investigate for himself.

With this post I aim to analyse the events leading to WWX's downfall from the point of view of characters who acted in good faith without having all the necessary information. I'm bringing LXC as an example because he's one of the less culpable in the whole matter, but similar considerations could be made about several other characters.

First of all, as far as we know LXC didn't personally take part in the first siege of the Burial Mounds, since the novel states that the Lan Sect was led by LQR.

Back then, during the first siege of Burial Mound, Jin GuangShan led the LanlingJin Sect, while Jiang Cheng led the YunmengJiang Sect; Lan QiRen led the GusuLan Sect, while Nie MingJue led the QingheNie Sect. The former two were the main forces, the latter two could’ve gone without.

(Chapter 68)

The other three main sects were led by their respective leaders, so why was the Lan Sect the only one that was led by someone else? My own interpretation is that LXC wanted to stay with his brother while he was recovering from his injuries and he didn't want to be an active participant in the siege that would kill his brother's beloved, despite personally disapproving of WWX's actions. One could argue that letting LQR lead the Lan Sect in the siege still meant giving his tacit approval, which is not wrong, but what should be considered is that the cultivation world didn't plan a siege against WWX because he had taken a bunch of prisoners of war and sheltered them in the Burial Mounds, but because he had killed hundreds of cultivators at Qiongqi Path and a lot more at Nightless City.

Before WN lost control and killed thirty people at Koi Tower - the time he and WQ had gone to turn themselves in - the situation wasn't so dire for WWX yet. The Wen siblings' sentence was still being discussed by the sects. WN mentions that LWJ spoke up for him and his sister back then (chapter 89), which suggests the Lan Sect as a whole hadn't taken an antagonistic stance against WWX yet. LWJ probably tried to bring what he had seen of the Wen remnants and their peaceful settlement as proof that they hadn't done anything to deserve being sentenced to death.

Unfortunately, after that WN lost control of himself and attacked the cultivators who were present at the discussion, which gave even the Lan and Nie Sects a reason to hold a grudge against WWX, since some of the victims were from their Sects as well.

“The Ghost General really is fierce… Said he was there to give himself in, but then he suddenly flipped out. He slaughtered again, this time in Koi Tower.”

[...]

“Wei Ying, though, he shouldn’t have made him if he can’t control it. Created a mad dog and he didn’t leash it. Sooner or later, he’s gonna be faced with a qi deviation. With the way things have been, I doubt the day is that far away.”

[...]

“How unfortunate for the LanlingJin Sect.”

“Things were even worse for the GusuLan Sect! Over half of the thirty-or-so people were from their sect. They were clearly only there to help calm things down.”

(Chapter 77)

A few of the QingheNie Sect’s disciples died in the hands of Wen Ning as well. Nie MingJue spoke coldly, “What arrogance.”

(Chapter 78)

The text explicitly states that the cultivators from the Lan Sect who were present at Koi Tower were only there to "help calm things down", which means they weren't trying to accuse WWX and the Wen remnants. At the time, the Lan Sect's general stance about WWX appeared to be mostly neutral (the same could be said of the Nie Sect). LWJ's own attitude toward the Burial Mounds settlement could be considered mostly neutral as well, at least until WN and WQ (and then WWX) really needed his help.

An argument I’ve seen brought up often is that, if everyone had known the Wen remnants were just farming and living as ordinary peasants, a lot more people would have chosen to help them. However, the main issue wasn't how they were living in the Burial Mounds (which nobody knew except JC, LWJ and maybe LXC), but their role in the war. Not only were they all cultivators from the Wen Clan, despite being very weak, but WQ was favored by WRH, which made her involvement in her sect's crimes even more likely despite her good reputation. Nobody had heard of her killing anyone, but how could they be sure? Besides, the Lan Sect didn't owe any debt of gratitude to the Wen siblings. The Wen Sect had burned the Cloud Recesses and killed LXC and LWJ's father. NMJ held a personal grudge against the Wen Sect because WRH had killed his father, plus his own black-and-white morality made him judge WQ for not opposing WRH in any way. LXC and NMJ had no reason to go out of their way to help WWX and the Wen remnants, but before the bloodbath of Nightless City they didn't do anything to harm them, either.

We also have to take into consideration the world MDZS is set in; that is, a fantasy version of ancient China where revenge is absolutely justified and is considered an act of justice. Even wiping out entire Sects in revenge isn't necessarily condemned, since JGY did that for the alleged murder of his son and nobody criticized him for it until they learned of all the crimes he had commited and realized those people had most likely been framed by him. Xue Yang was obviously despised by everyone for what he did to the Chang Clan because his revenge was considered exceedingly disproportionate to Chang Cian's offense. Xiao Xingchen illustrates society's point of view on the matter very well when he says cutting Chang Cian's finger or even his entire arm would have been entirely reasonable.

So, as long as it was deemed proportionate to the offense, revenge was justified. Putting all the Wen survivors who had taken part in the war into a labor camp was considered a justified punishment in universe. The sects refused to admit the guards had actually abused the prisoners, suggesting that was going too far, but taking revenge against them by putting them in labor camps was totally accepted. Even WWX - who the novel portrays as morally correct most of the time - doesn’t condemn it. He himself used very cruel and ruthless methods to take revenge against his enemies during the Sunshot Campaign, so it would be kind of hypocritical if he opposed their punishment post-war. He does point out that people consider every Wen cultivator guilty by association just for being part of the Wen Clan, without really caring about the actual crimes they have committed, but he only rescues the cultivators from WN's branch, who he knows didn't take part in the atrocities committed by the Wen Sect.

Murdering the Wen remnants settled in the Burial Mounds was wrong even in universe because they were innocent. They hadn't killed anyone during the war and the Wen siblings' help was absolutely essential for WWX and JC when they were on the run. Without them the Jiang Sect wouldn't even exist anymore. This was a huge deal considering the importance of debts in universe and could have swayed public opinion in their favor. NMJ criticized WQ for not doing anything to actively oppose WRH during the war, but the thing is that she had. She had sheltered the Jiang Sect's heir and head disciple, the same people who contributed to the Sunshot Campaign as one of the main forces.

The problem is that no one knew about this except WWX and JC themselves. JC, who had the authority and credibility to defend what WWX had done in the prison camp, didn't show much conviction the one time he tried to speak up for him, so the other sects probably assumed he was just trying to excuse his right-hand man's inexcusable actions and that WWX had become too corrupted by his demonic cultivation and was too unpredictable and dangerous. When JC went to investigate what WWX was actually doing in the Burial Mounds, he came back saying WWX had defected from the Jiang Sect and was an enemy to the cultivation world (chapter 73), apparently confirming WWX had finally lost it because of all the resentful energies he used and was a potential threat to them all.

However, a really important thing to consider is that the cultivation world waited two years to besiege WWX. They didn't immediately charge to attack him or believe all the rumors about WWX. The sects definitely behaved like sheep, but they weren't that stupid. They knew most of the things that were said were probably exaggerated rumors, so they were just observing the situation and waiting to see what he would do. LXC, NMJ and the other cultivators who weren't in bad faith (those who weren't driven by their greed, ambition, resentment or jealousy) were all part of this general category. They had no reason to doubt JC's words, who was a fellow sect leader and WWX's close friend, and many of them had seen for themselves how threatening WWX had acted during the banquet at Koi Tower, when he said nobody could stop him if he wanted to kill someone, so they had no reason to believe WWX's reputation was being unfairly tarnished.

During the two years WWX spent in the Burial Mounds and nobody really knew what he was up to, a lot of rumors were spread about him. Some people thought he was trying to build an army of fierce corpses with their consciousness awakened like WN; others suggested he wanted to found his own sect of demonic cultivators and even took disciples, like the banners in Yiling seemed to indicate. They considered WWX a potential threat, but not enough to actually take action against him. The fact that LWJ waited months before going to check the situation in the Burial Mounds is very telling. He knew the cultivation world was at a standstill with WWX, so despite being worried for WWX he knew there wasn't any immediate danger for him. He might have been too busy with his own sect matters and going wherever the chaos was, but we've seen how LWJ behaves when he thinks WWX is in grave and immediate danger. The way he acted during the night of the bloodbath of Nightless City shows it very well: LWJ did his best to help as many people as he could, but WWX was his priority.

Of course, having only partial information doesn't excuse the sects for everything. They definitely had their faults regardless of how much they knew. They should have given WWX a chance to explain himself about the ambush at Qiongqi Path and the incident at Koi Tower instead of deciding to besiege him. They didn't even care if he was actually guilty or not of cursing Jin Zixun, or that he was the one who had been ambushed on the way to his nephew's full-month celebration. All that mattered to them was that he had lost control and killed hundreds of cultivators, including the Jin heir. They took this as proof of how dangerous and uncontrollable he was, which wasn't completely unfounded. He was dangerous when he wanted to be and he did lose control. Taking this information without all the context we as an audience are aware of - that he was only trying to repay a debt and didn't want to harm anyone, that Jin Zixun provoked him so much it was almost inevitable for him to lose control - doesn't look good at all.

Again, the sects did behave like sheep. The novel portrays WWX as the hero and his decision to rescue the Wen remnants as morally correct. Most of the cultivators who contributed to WWX's downfall were a bunch of hypocrites who couldn't see past their own self-righteousness. But characters like NMJ and LQR are portrayed as generally righteous people, so the fact that they took part in the siege proves not everyone was in bad faith. Nobody really knew why WWX had rescued the Wen remnants and his reasons for wanting to protect them, or why he had invented demonic cultivation in the first place. They just knew he did very questionable things like digging up graves during the war, that he acted arrogantly all the time and even started killing their own people. We as an audience know why he did all these things, but they didn't.

Also, after the bloodbath of Nightless City it was objectively hard to defend WWX's actions. He wasn't clear-headed at all that night and when he activated the Tiger Seal he was already in a half-unconscious state. His overall situation was too much for anyone to be able to stand it, but this doesn't mean what he did was right. The fact that he destroyed the Tiger Seal after returning to the Burial Mounds suggests not even he was proud of all the people he killed that night. WWX isn't infallible and makes mistakes because he's human like anyone else, despite being an overall heroic and selfless person. Even LWJ, who was the only one that still trusted WWX's heart and morals, couldn't really justify what he did at Nightless City. He only told LXC that no matter right or wrong, he was willing to face all the consequences with WWX anyway (chapter 99), because he understood his true nature and knew his outlook and values were the same as his own. But most people didn't know him as well as LWJ did. From the sects’ point of view, the bloodbath of Nightless City was the ultimate proof that WWX was the scourge of the cultivation world.

I'm not trying to say LXC is perfect or that he couldn't have done more, but we should take his own point of view into consideration when we judge his actions (or non-actions). LWJ didn't do much more than him during WWX's first life and what he did ultimately wasn't enough to save WWX (I don’t think it’s his fault, he was in an objectively difficult position), but the fandom doesn’t criticize him as much as they do with LXC, because after WWX came back LWJ's support for him was flawless. But LXC wasn't in love with WWX. He hadn't observed him since he was a teenager like LWJ had done because of his huge crush on him. We shouldn't underestimate the importance of debts in universe and how information in general can affect people's perceptions. Even LWJ stayed mostly still during WWX’s first life because he didn't have all the information and didn't know why WWX had left the bright broad road to start cultivating with resentful energies.

WWX is the protagonist, the hero of the story and the character whose point of view most of the novel is narrated from, so it's easy for the audience to empathize with him and understand his perspective. It's really interesting that even WWX has a good opinion of LXC and NMJ (and mostly respects LQR) despite their role in his downfall. It's not just because of his forgiving nature, since we see him criticize the hypocrisy of the sects a lot of times, but because he recognizes they were in good faith and they had their reasons for behaving like they did, despite the mistakes they might have made.

#mdzs #mdzs meta #wei wuxian #lan xichen #nie mingjue #lan wangji

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ibijau · 2 years

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Xue Yang’s Master pt11 / On AO3

Everyone’s hiding in Baixue Temple, and it goes well, until it doesn’t.

Coming to Baixue Temple with the Wens was the best and worst idea Xue Yang had ever had in his entire life, second only to his decision not to kill Wen Chao.

It was the best thing ever, because Xiao Xingchen was still there when they arrived and he was, to say the least, impressed by Xue Yang and Wen Chao’s dedication to protecting the weak. He listened to their story of rescuing Wen Ning’s people who’d been so unfairly treated (Xue Yang wisely omitted a few details, such as the exact effect of some of the experimental talismans used during the rescue) and helped them convince the people of the temple to offer protection until the whole matter could be investigated. And then, since they were both there anyway, Xiao Xingchen offered to let Xue Yang join him while he worked on his cultivation.

That was where the whole thing also became the very worst idea that Xue Yang ever had, because Xiao Xingchen had made another friend while in Baixue Temple, and Xue Yang had never hated anyone that badly. Song Lan was the world’s most annoying person, without a shred of humour, disgusted by the slightest bit of dirt, unbending in all things, and Xue Yang seriously considered killing him until Wen Chao gently pointed out that it might upset Xiao Xingchen. Then, after reflection, he'd added that the temple might not want to help them anymore if they started killing people on their grounds. So Xue Yang swallowed his dislike as best as he could.

He mostly did it because poor Wen Chao was already suffering enough like that. His overall state, which hadn’t been great since that time they’d seen Nie Mingjue, had taken a pretty rough turn for the worse since they’d arrived to Baixue Temple. The doctor who saw him said Wen Chao’s Qi was very unbalanced, that it seemed to have been that way for weeks if not months, probably as long as Xue Yang had known him really, and it was a miracle that he hadn’t had a Qi deviation yet, especially if he’d encountered stressful situations.

Seeing Nie Mingjue, and then the whole deal with the Wens, had definitely made things worse.

So while Xue Yang had fun with Xiao Xingchen and did his best to antagonise Song Lan, Wen Chao mostly spent his day laying down in the room he’d been offered and either slept or meditated. To Xue Yang it would have been terribly boring, but Wen Chao seemed to be satisfied with just hearing about his student’s day every night. Although the temple had offered to give Xue Yang his own room, he had refused to be separated from Wen Chao, who was still his to protect. So when it was time for dinner, Xue Yang always ate with Wen Chao and gave him an account of everything that had happened during the day. Sometimes, Wen Chao also had something to say, usually about Wen Ning coming to keep him company, or the doctor having checked whether his health was improving, which it usually hadn't. Most of the time though, Wen Chao had nothing to say at all, and just laid on his bed, teasing Xue Yang about how much he spoke about Xiao Xingchen.

It went on like that for a couple of weeks, and it wasn't so bad really, but Xue Yang always knew that it couldn’t last.

He was hanging out one morning with Xiao Xingchen and Wen Ning, who was after all a cultivator too. Xiao Xingchen had been the one to invite Wen Ning to join their impromptu lesson, but Xue Yang hadn’t objected the way he would have done with, say, Song Lan. For all of his stuttering and his mild manners, Wen Ning was less pathetic than he looked, so Xue Yang didn’t dislike him. Of course, it helped that Wen Ning had expressed worry over Wen Chao’s state, and repeated several times that his sister, who was an extraordinary doctor, would definitely help him once she figured out where they were.

So it started like a pretty nice morning, until one of the Wens came running for Wen Ning, saying that his sister had arrived. Instantly Wen Ning dropped what they were doing and went to see if it was really so. Xiao Xingchen followed, curious to meet Wen Qing after having heard so much about her, and Xue Yang had no choice but to come as well, wondering how they’d been found so fast.

In the first courtyard of the temple, they were greeted by a very agitated scene. Three newcomers had arrived, one of which was a young woman. Wen Ning shouted when he saw her, and the woman, who’d looked very cool and dignified just a moment before, broke into tears when she spotted her brother, running to him and hugging him tight. Even Xue Yang had to admit it was a pretty touching scene, though it quickly got boring to see those two be emotional, and his attention went to the two men who had arrived with Wen Qing. He was quite struck when he realised that one of them was radiantly handsome, wearing all white and with a ribbon on his forehead. For a brief moment, Xue Yang wondered if that might be the man who still so often appeared in Wen Chao’s nightmares, before quickly dismissing the idea. That man was too cold looking, and didn’t smile at all, not even when his eyes passed over the happy reunion of the Wen siblings. Wen Chao’s dream man was all warmth and smiles and gentleness, he always said, so it couldn’t be him.

Ultimately, the man in white just wasn’t very interesting, so Xue Yang’s attention turned to his companion.

That second man was a little less boring. He was just as tall as the first one, but much thinner and with an unhealthy air to him that was only made worse by the very dark blacks and crimson red of his clothes. He looked as if he hadn’t slept in ages and would collapse at the first gust of strong wind, yet at the same time there was an aura of power to him that made Xue Yang shiver. This wasn’t someone to take lightly just because he looked a little sickly.

Unlike the man in white, the man in black seemed quite delighted to be witnessing the reunion of Wen Ning and Wen Qing. He gave them a little time to cry over each other’s shoulder, then joined them and shamelessly demanded to be hugged as well.

“Wei gongzi, thanks for bringing my sister here!” Wen Ning sobbed. “I’m s-so glad. Everything is going to be fine now!”

The man in black laughed and hugged Wen Ning.

Xue Yang froze.

Wei gongzi.

Wei Wuxian.

It had to be Wei Wuxian, who Wen Ning had mentioned meeting before. Wei Wuxian, the real deal, the hero of the Sunshot Campaign, the man who’d invented a brand new form of cultivation, whose victims were so numerous that their corpses could fill an entire city.

Wei Wuxian, the man who slaughtered so much of Qishan Wen.

The man who was said to have killed Wen Chao during the war.

Xue Yang felt a knot inside his chest, pulling at his lungs and his heart until the very act of breathing was difficult. His pulse was racing madly. Because he was not used to this sensation, it took him a moment to realise what was happening.

Xue Yang was terrified.

Not for himself, of course. If Wei Wuxian hadn’t slaughtered Wen Ning and the others on sight, if he’d even been helping Wen Qing, then he’d probably not attack Xue Yang either. But Wen Chao? Wen Chao was different. Wen Chao was the man who’d led the massacre of the Lotus Piers, something for which Wei Wuxian had sworn to get revenge. Something for which he’d already gotten revenge, people used to say, having done something so awful that there hadn’t even been a body to present as proof of Wen Chao’s death.

There was a lot about all this that Xue Yang wasn’t sure what to think of. His master just wasn’t at all like the sort of asshole people gossiped about when talking about who Wen Chao had been. There was a good chance he wasn’t the same person at all. And maybe Wei Wuxian would know this, and leave them alone. But the thing about Wei Wuxian was that every story about him described him as merciless and bent on revenge, so maybe counting on his understanding and kindness wouldn’t be very wise.

Besides, if Xue Yang had met someone just pretending to be Chang Ci’ian, he’d have probably killed them, simply on principle. He had no reason to not expect Wei Wuxian to be like him.

Which meant Xue Yang needed to get Wen Chao out of that place immediately.

While everyone was busy greeting the newcomers, Xue Yang ran back inside to the room they’d been given. Wen Chao was there, sitting on the floor, trying to meditate and mercifully alone. The meditation couldn’t have been going very well, because he immediately opened his eyes when Xue Yang barged through the door.

“Grab your stuff,” Xue Yang ordered in a shaky voice. “We’re leaving.”

For all his faults, Wen Chao could be smart. He didn’t protest, and hurried to his feet. His legs were a little unsteady from forced rest and the awkward sitting position, but his first instinct was to stumble toward the bed and grab his mask which he put on with trembling hands. Only then did he start helping Xue Yang gather their things.

Between the two of them they didn’t own much except a spare set of clothes, cultivation tools, and their swords. In a very short time they were ready to leave, Wen Chao never asking why they needed to go in such a hurry. But even that had taken too much time. When they left their room and tried to escape through the back of the temple, they found the man in white waiting outside the building.

“Oh, I know him,” Wen Chao whimpered, taking a step back and pointing at the man in white. “I know him,” he breathlessly repeated, now pressing his hands to the sides of his head and stumbling backward until his shoulders hit the wall of the building. “He’s… he’s… Wangji… Lan Zhan?”

“He’s here to kill you!” Xue Yang said, unsheathing his sword and pointing it at their enemy. “But I won’t let him. I’ll protect you, shizun!”

It was a little offensive that Lan Wangji appeared neither impressed nor worried by that declaration. Instead he stared at Xue Yang with disinterested curiosity, as if he were an odd bug doing something mildly unusual. Xue Yang kept his sword pointed at the man while also trying to get out one of his special talismans from inside his sleeve, because those had worked just great against cultivators so far.

He was so focused on getting his talismans and keeping an eye on Lan Wangji that he didn’t notice someone else had joined them until a painful blow to his right wrist made him drop his sword. A cold hand then seized both of his with strength the likes of which he’d never felt before.

“I guess you must be Xue Yang,” Wei Wuxian guessed with a vicious smile. “Wen Ning told us about you. And then your friend over there is…”

Seeing his disciple in danger, Wen Chao pushed himself away from the wall he’d been resting against. He managed to take a few hesitant steps, though his body was trembling so badly that he soon had to stop and just stared defiantly at Wei Wuxian.

“I am Wen Chao. Whatever you do to me, don’t hurt my disciple, please. He has nothing to do with whatever quarrel we have.”

“You’re not Wen Chao,” Wei Wuxian retorted without a second of hesitation, having given him no more than a quick glance.

“Yes I am,” Wen Chao insisted, sounding far less sure of himself. “Here, I’ll prove it.”

“Shizun, don’t!” Xue Yang cried out, biting Wei Wuxian’s hand hard to be released.

The man appeared to feel nothing, not even as sharp canines drew blood from his hand, and Xue Yang could only watch helplessly as Wen Chao untied his mask, letting it drop to the ground.

“Oh,” Wei Wuxian said. And then, after a pause, he added: “Shit.”

Lan Wangji remained silent, but his intense stare expressed the same sentiment. The two of them then exchanged a look and Lan Wangji, without saying a word, sent up a distress signal into the sky.

#nie huaisang #xue yang #mo dao zu shi #mdzs #nhs is wc au #jau writes

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guiltycorp · 3 years

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about the ‘sworn’ or ‘righteous’ part of Kaeya’s relation to Ragnvindrs Considering the fact that Kaeya must have been ~10-13 years old when he was taken in by Crepus and also that his profile description calls him his sworn son (義子) I believe it's safe to assume that this was the primary relationship. Later in his stories Kaeya is often referred to as 養子, adopted or foster son and it is my belief that the meaning is 100% foster because being a sworn son is different to actually getting adopted. Sworn children don't share their 'parents' surnames and they don't inherit anything, in fact, often there's no form of written contract at all and instead it's just an agreement where one side provides patronage and care while the other offers filial piety. So, that means that it probably wasn't Diluc's decision to swear an oath of brotherhood with Kaeya! Instead Kaeya first became Crepus's sworn son and thus became Diluc's sworn brother by association; though calling the children of your sworn parent your sworn siblings isn't an absolute rule it's still kind of expected. Having skimmed through the Chinese Wikipedia page it seems to me like the main contemporary reason to make other children your sworn sons/daughters is because people weren't allowed to have more than one child and 'adopting' sworn children like this allowed the kids to learn the value of 悌, concept of fraternal loyalty. Also just in general easier to make close friends when your parents already did that for you. It would make sense to me if Crepus didn't want to risk adopting a random kid but still took in Kaeya as his sworn son specifically to provide Diluc with a close friend of a similar age and semi-equal status (sorry Elzer т_т). I should note that the practice of sworn parents/siblings was often historically used for political and economical reasons, in turn leading to corruption and abuse. For example, 'I give you filial piety, you give me money and promotions' or 'I give you a roof over your head and you give me your servitude' etc. This isn't really relevant to Kaeya's character since he mentions happiness while being with Ragnvindrs (when comparing his duty to his feelings), but still this is to provide context bc the practice isn't seen as completely ideal&pure. Plus he diiiid become a knight under Diluc ehe, but of course it’s easy to make the case for ‘he deserved it’. Anyway in my opinion, considering the fact that Kaeya's and Diluc's sworn brotherhood oath wasn't made by them on purpose, the only thing that truly matters when it comes to their relationship is the characters' own view. We don’t really have much information on their pre-fight dynamic aside from them having been very close with Diluc as the older perfect prodigy and Kaeya as his sidekick (support + planning). However, they are said to have been as close as the gemini, like, the sign that means twins. This is probably a point in favor of an actual brotherly relationship rather than a fairly distant friendship. Meanwhile their current in-game relationship is fraught with tension. Kaeya obviously wants to reconcile and Diluc still relies on him whenever Kaeya suggests it, so when it comes to professionalism they fall back into the same dynamic of brawns & brain, but their dialogues are filled with mistrust on Diluc’s end and with bitterness on Kaeya’s side. It's fairly concerning that the only sign Diluc might still care about his ex-sworn brother is that ugly ass vase he kept in the lobby. Considering the amount of things Kaeya managed to do for him already, it's slightly unbalanced immo to say the least :/ :/ Some like to say that Diluc not giving him over to Jean is already a sign of caring on his part but idk, considering his personality he might just see Kaeya as his own responsibility to watch over and I doubt that he would leave Mond for 4 years if Kaeya actually seemed like a threat. And there were plenty of times when Diluc could have alluded to Kaeya (like, kaeya alludes to him in his voicelines all the time) and yet just doesn't. Even the line that could vaguely be associated with Kaeya, the one about nightingales, is a mistranslation — he meant night OWLS, his own constellation and symbol. What a pity tbh. We just have to wait for further content with them to be sure that Diluc isn’t completely heartless. And more about the pairing though, read only if it’s relevant to your interests. While ideally sworn siblings are expected to maintain platonic relations and to care for each other their whole lives, being halves of a whole and all that, interestingly enough according to the Wikipedia page the specific kind of sworn siblings you make through parents is less regulated, so if kids grow up and pursue romantic relationships between each other it's seen as just fine, sometimes even encouraged by the more meddling type of grannies. Tbh at first I was surprised by that, but likely it's because becoming sworn siblings isn't really their call? While if you swear an oath of brotherhood/sisterhood by your own decision as an adult you're expected to maintain that specific kind of relationship? makes sense to me i guess (that said, of course there are also practices like 契兄弟, Qi sworn brothers — like, specifically the gay sworn brothers, when men swore brotherhood with their lovers to avoid persecution for homosexuality... also my understanding is that women did that way more often because for them it was also a way to get out of marriages by saying that they were fully devoted to their 'sisters' instead, this isn’t relevant here, just interesting) Basically as soon as you enter a romantic relationship with your sworn-anything the boundary you maintain is replaced by the new romantic kind and you shouldn't count as sworn siblings anymore; unless you're lgbtq in which case open romantic relationships are dangerous anyway so you might as well continue calling your partner whatever. Basically there would be nothing wrong with kaeluc especially since they even already stopped calling each other sworn brothers (the eng translation took liberties again, in the comic it’s not actually clear who was the first one to stop). It’s all about the characters’ own perspective and while I’m convinced that genshin won’t have any outright lgbt representation bc chinese game, we can still assume a lot from how things between Kaeya and Diluc develop, like whether they will reconcile and if they do will they go back to calling each other sworn brothers or if they will start a completely new friendship free of the ties to Crepus. Or will they fail to reconcile in a dramatic and angsty fashion? Either way, this time it would be their own choice and thus all the stronger for it!

#kaeya #diluc #kaeluc #genshin #genshin lore #text #edit: made it a bit softer

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nillegible · 4 years

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“Stay,” he says, and Er-ge, stupid, beautiful, foolish Er-ge obeys. Stays, even though he no longer trusts Jin Guangyao. Even though it means he’ll die.

Jin Guangyao is tired of watching people die.

He gathers his qi into his fingers and pushes him away, just as Da-ge’s fingers wrap around his throat.

He feels his neck snap.

Jin Guangyao comes to in a hall that still haunts his dreams. Deadly, bloodied cord still wrapped tight around his fingers.

Wen Ruohan’s bodiless head lies on the ground.

He drops the cord, the memory of holding it to Jin Ling’s throat fresh in his mind.

His arm. He still has his arm.

Wen Ruohan’s head lies separate from his body, blood pooling disgustingly between them.

To be fair all of the blood might not be his. There are… lots of bodies.

Jin Guangyao wishes he could say he’d forgotten how it had been… but no. He remembers. He always remembers. He turns and… there, Nie Mingjue lies. Fury twisting his features even when unconscious. Alive.

Jin Guangyao falls to his knees and tries to breathe over the ringing in his ears. Is this a curse? Had the heavens deemed him too evil to be granted a simple death?

Voices outside. Staying here would be death and Jin Guangyao has just died, and doesn’t want to die again. He struggles to his feet.

Briefly – very briefly – he considers leaving Nie Mingjue there. Letting the Wen deal with him.

He knows what comes after this, after all.

But Jin Guangyao has always been foolish, when it comes to this man. When he’d been alive. And after. He leans down and hauls him over his shoulder, and grabs Baxia as well.

He remembers the way out.

Lan Xichen should be looking for them. Unlike last time, trying to traverse the whole forest by foot, Jin Guangyao takes them a safe distance in and then stops. Props Nie Mingjue into a seated position against a tree, and lays Baxia beside him. He settles down a decent distance away. Enough to have a warning if Nie Mingjue decides to try to kill him, like last time, or if some Wen disciple finds them. Then he leans back against a tree and closes his eyes.

“Meng Yao?”

Jin Guangyao startles awake and flinches back. Too close, why was he so close?

Lan Xichen takes a comforting step back, hands out. “There is no danger, it’s only me,” he says. His eyes so kind.

Jin Guangyao looks away. You’re the only man who could kill me, Er-ge. You, and the man behind you.

“Is Sect Leader Nie alright?” he asks. As though it matters. Maybe it does, he’d brought him this far. Jin Guangyao hates a wasted effort. His whole life had been, after all, a wasted effort. He wonders what they say of him now, after his death. Fool, probably. Foolish son of a whore, probably. “Does he not wish to kill me?”

“He has recovered consciousness. I have explained to Mingjue-xiong that you were working for us, that you’ve been spying all along,” says Lan Xichen. He sounds so sincere.

Jin Guangyao doesn’t have the strength to go through all of that charade again.

“Er-” Don’t call me that anymore, A-Yao. “–Zewu Jun. I killed Nie cultivators, to distract Wen Ruohan from killing Sect Leader Nie. He wants to kill me. He always does.” He did, in the end.

It’s hard to dredge up resentment for that fact. After all, Jin Guangyao had killed him first. He just hadn’t killed him well enough. Hadn’t burned the body and scattered the ashes. It’s why Huaisang was able to. Why he could…

He pushes himself to his feet and is surprised when he stumbles. This isn’t right, he wasn’t supposed to feel exhausted. Was acting out in the memory causing it to collapse?

“Meng Yao!” comes Nie Mingjue’s furious voice. Ah, apparently he was better. He refuses to look up. Doesn’t want to see him, to see him as anything other than that dark, mindless corpse, that Jin Guangyao had made him into. “What do you think you were doing?”

Jin Guangyao puts a hand over his mouth, but it’s not enough to stifle the tired laughter. He doesn’t know. He thought he’d been doing the right thing, he’d made each choice as well as he could and his life had slipped away from him.

I didn’t think I had a choice.

Wait.

Meng Yao, they’d said. Not Jin Guangyao.

He wasn’t Jin Guangyao, yet.

He never had to be.

Wherever this was, he was going to stay Meng Yao.

To hell with his father.

[Read the next part here!]

#jin guangyao #meng yao #lan xichen #nie mingjue #time travel #mdzs

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leyswold · 3 years

Text

if you kin or simp for these 4 congratulations you’re my new best friend

WARNING: HAS SOME SPOILERS

1. Akito sohma

I don’t know the first episode I saw her I was like is this love? WTF MA’AM LOOK AT ME. I’m still salty she left me for Shigure. Season 3 fucked me up bad I love the Kyoru and Yumachi moments a lot but seeing Shigure meaning a manipulative bitch has me wanting to slap him.

2. Shen jiu (not shen yuan)

mf’s backstory has me crying tearing up print outs of Yue Qingyuan because STUPID QI-GE YOU DON’T HAVE 2 BRAIN CELLS DO YOU? I do not take criticism for kinning him go read his back story he only had qi-ge left in his life and YQY didn’t have the balls to come thru and tell him. I will forever hate Mu QingFang because bitch delivered medicine late to Qing Jing purposefully. In general I hate all the Peak Lords except SJ (LQG is still funny at times so kudos for that) because they ratted him out ヽ( `д´*)ノ.

3. Nie Huaisang

is it even a surprise this man is gorgeous af and bruh the amount of grief the resonated from him when NMJ died was enough to make me read and write canon-divergent fanfics where NMJ didn’t die and NHS didn’t have to suffer. Bro the fact that he revived Wei Ying surprised me and the bird scene the symbolism bro...... and yes he has a fan I have a thing for men/women with fans and green eyes. Don’t lie Nie Huaisang had us all fooled.

4. Zero Kiryu

ever had a crush that just doesn’t seem to leave you yea that’s what happened to me. And yes I still re-watched vampire knight twice this year because nostalgia and I was bored. Big mistake. I was contantly pointing at the tv either crying or cursing out Yuki because bitch who leaves THE perfect man and goes to your incest crazy brother. Bruh and Zero still loved Yuki like bro.... SHE HAD BOTH THEIR KIDS (mind you I love their daughters especially Ren because awooga she gorgeous and is exactly like her father). So yes I have a lot of bad blood with vampire knight’s ending my mans died and that piece of shit still lived what you expect.

5. Seth (Ennead)

SEASON 2 IS HERE WOOH AND IN THE FIRST CHAPTER WE SEE SETH BEING THE SAVAGE HE IS. Anyways as the last 4 Seth has well a lot of trauma. My guy is too beautiful to exist so he got well........ Anyways great character development ISIS AND OSIRIS SUCK MAKE THEM UNEXIST. And would you look at that he got Zeus on his simp line too. Seth might start out as a shitty abusive character at first but trust me you’ll learn to love him soon enough. His coping mechanisms aren’t well working anymore and Anubis is hating him. He’s a great father and husband no matter what.

wtf why did you read all of this? You just wasted 5 minutes of your life congratulations. This is just a pre-exam stress rant if you’re wondering. But yea if you kin for any or all of them dm me let’s have a talk about them sometime.

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