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thevoidstaredback · 2 months

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Enough Caffeine to Kill an Elephant

Listen. It was an accident. He didn't mean to! It just kinda happened.

So maybe he brought a drink with enough caffeine in it to kill an elephant within a few minutes, and maybe he forgot to put the sleeve on his cup so he could tell it apart from the others, but it's not his fault! He didn't think anyone else was going to have the exact same Yeti cup as him! It's not like he'd seen any of the others carry one before. Besides, he worked with superheros. They should be smart enough to check before drinking someone else's drink.

Danny had been summoned by the Justice League Dark a few years back in order to help with a world ending crisis and he just didn't leave. It's not like he could go anywhere anyway. His ghost half hadn't grown past fourteen and his human half had stopped visibly aging at eighteen. He'd had to leave town as Danny Fenton, but he'd stayed in Amity Park as Danny Phantom. When his parents died of old age, thank god, he'd closed down the portal, stuck around for a few more years, before traveling the world as Danny Fenton.

Anyway, he'd taken up residence in the House of Mysteries after the JLD had summoned him. Constantine, at first, had been wary, but he and the rest of the JLD had grown to accept him. He was an honorary member of the team.

At some point, just after Robin had become Red Robin, Danny had been introduced to the Justice League. He liked those guys, too, and worked with them sometimes. Though, he usually only went to bug them.

Red Robin had been very interested in the fact that his was fourteen and working with grown heros, like he was one to talk, but Danny hadn't explained anything other than saying that he had died and come back. The following conversation was an interesting one that lead to Danny knowing that Nightwing was the Batman he'd met and that Batman was lost somewhere. He'd confirmed that the man was not dead, but he hadn't offered to help look for him. He probably should have, in retrospect.

Back on topic! Everyone in the JLD knew not to touch Danny's drink. They'd all seen him make it before and had been horrified on varying degrees. It's not like it could kill him. He's already half dead! So long as he only drank this specific brew as Phantom, he'd be fine.

The Justice League, apparently, didn't get the memo. He blames Constantine because Zatanna and Raven can do no wrong. No, John, he's not biased.

The point is, Red Robin just had a sip of Danny's drink. The horror he now felt was akin to the fear he held when he'd told his parents he was Phantom. (An interaction that had gone very well, thank you very much.)

Danny knew the exact moment that the vigilante realized he grabbed the wrong drink. His eyes widened to an astonishing degree, and, if he'd been able to seen his eyes behind the mask, Danny knew that the man's pupils would've completely overtaken the irises. His hands started shaking, too. Oh, no. The man's already addicted to hellish amounts of coffee. This is only going to make it worse!

Quickly, and without drawing any attention, thank the Ancients, Danny rushed over. "You, um, you okay, man?" Obviously not, but he tends to talk when he's anxious and he was certainly anxious right now. He could've possibly just killed a man via poison!

"What the fuck is in this coffee?" Red Robin asked, going to take another sip.

Danny pulled the Yeti from his hand and gave him the proper one. "Enough caffeine to kill an elephant."

"Obviously not, seeing as I'm still alive."

"Yeah, I can't tell if that's a good thing or not."

"Excuse me?"

"I-I mean-! I didn't-! You know what I mean." Caffeine is poisonous in excess, and his drink was way beyond excess, but it's the only thing that works for him as a ghost! Superpowered metabolism and all that.

"Do I?" The laugh in his voice answered for him. He took a sip from his drink and frowned at it. "I don't think any coffee will ever be enough again."

"And that's my cue to get my drink very far away from you." Danny turned, fully intent on moving to the other side of the room. Besides, the meeting was going to start as soon as the Flash and Kid Flash arrived, which would be soon. Something about one of their Rouges getting out?

"What?" Red Robin asked, "Why?" If he was a little desperate to get another sip of that coffee, he'd rather not acknowledge it.

"Because you don't need anymore lethal coffee," he muttered, "The sip you took will already keep you awake for three days at least, and it probably jump started an addiction. Best to stop it now. Besides, I need to go have my crisis on how the hell you're still alive after even a sip of this stuff."

"Again, rude." The bird themed vigilante crossed his arms as best he could while holding his cup. "If it's so dangerous, why do you drink it?"

Danny took a deliberate sip as he locked eyes with the technically younger man. "I'm dead. I don't need to worry about my heart stopping or having a seizure."

"Excuses."

"No, it's not 'excuses'. I'm saving your life."

"You're a kid. If I can't have that coffee, then you shouldn't be having it."

"First, I'm older than you. Second, I already told you: I'm dead. This isn't going to hurt me. Third, you can't tell me what to do."

"There's no way you're older than me. You're like, ten."

"I'm thirty-eight!" He balked, "I only look fourteen because I died when I was fourteen. We've been over this."

Neither noticed the entire Justice League looking at them. The two they were waiting on had arrived a few minutes ago and everyone was ready to start the meeting, but they'd been distracted by the two's conversation. Was that true? Had Phantom really died so young? They'd all been made aware he was not living, but they didn't think he'd died so young! Though, that was probably the denial speaking.

The Justice League Dark had been fully aware of this and didn't really bat an eye. Though, someone should probably get this meeting started. A potentially world ending threat was the topic, and that was a pretty important thing to discuss.

Captain Marvel was the first to pull himself together, though that was only after Atlas and Zeus had mentally slapped him out of his stupur. "As, ah, riveting as this conversation is," he stepped between the two boys- er, boy and man? "we really need to start this meeting."

Batman did not clear his throat because he'd not lost his voice in the first place. "He's right. Everyone take your seats."

Storyboard Part 2

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albaharu · 1 month

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got his dad kidnapped, his friend kidnapped, mizora is waiting for him at camp and his favorite clown got killed. terrible day for the blade.

also he was made to be the perfect trickster hero lying to the baddies with that high charisma so i got him to do the talk

#and for what???? we had to fight him anyways 5 minutes later we couldnt solve this the sneaky way #wich i wanted because they kidnapped my girl lae'zel wich i ALWAYS have in my party EXCEPT THIS TIME #and i was like. my girl is not spending 1 fucking day kidnapped we are gonna do this witHOUT RESTING #because ALSO MIZORA IS WAITING FOR US AT CAMP #this was all my first day in baldur's gate no resting it was wild it was beautiful #hardest fucking fight i didnt even have spells #but i was not gonna kill that lil flying elephant #i had to rest for orin tho #bg3 spoilers #bg3 #baldur's gate iii #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate #wyll ravengard #sarevok anchev #prudencia tav #dwarf tav

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cozystars · 11 months

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the bros now have a new passion to share :)

bonus!

[id in alt]

#cosmo creates #doodles #comics #super mario bros #super Mario #jp&e #I’m glad I drew this for my own enjoyment (and others) cause I’m starting to see more people #see elephant Mario as cursed #shut up.. thanks #anyways #maybe I’ll draw a full on illustration with Mario painting with peach! the two of them bonding as artists makes me very happy #I stg I’ll get to bowser. some time.#also since this has only come to my attention now!! maybe I’ll draw fox Luigi too #no one told me…until now ig lol #mario being the most likey to be the furry of the cast came to me first cause well #he is the main man #also be weird on this piece and i will kill you!!! lol

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th3basementdweller · 2 days

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Hello Camp Here & There fandom

#we should kill this guy i think #drawing #art #chnt #elijah volkov #elephant man chnt #elijah chnt #camp here and there #what a weird priest

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horridlittlesewergirl · 8 months

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"kill them with kindness"

WRONG

ancient psychic tandem war elephant

#kill them with kindness #adventure time #ancient psychic tandem war elephant

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civetcider · 1 year

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i can’t believe elephant seals are real

#doodles #elephant seal #seal #lil funnies #actually one of my favorite animals they look so funny #like living puppets #i know one would kill me in a half second but boy do i wanna pet that thing #why did blob fish become like a meme thing #when 1 they dont actually look like the pink lil nose guy #and 2 ELEPHANT SEALS ARE RIGHT THERE

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faefrosting · 4 months

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I love drawing my goobers and @urbanqhoul 's goobers together

Jelly loves making new friends! Happy friends make a happy Jelly too!

Excited for when more Whimsy and Angel Lore to drop, they are honestly such cool characters

#art #oc #jellybear #fanart #whimsy is babey #jellz would kill for the sweet boi #little elephant friend having a blast playing on Jelly's tail!

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starsfic · 6 months

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if Ur accepting prompts, what if wukong was trying to get Macaque and Azure to stop arguing because Wukong wants to be with them both

Another day, another fight over Sun Wukong.

Of course, DBK mused, watching as his two sworn brothers stand in front of Wukong, fight wasn't a good word for it. Both Macaque and Azure were too refined for a proper fistfight over a man who would quickly shut that down. Instead, it was more like slight jabs that occasionally became a sword when Macaque really got out of his shell.

Yellowtusk was already pulling out the scoreboard.

Today, however, seemed different. Both Macaque and Azure had gifts for the golden monkey, like usual. They were already wounding up into the jabs and swords. However, Wukong looked strangely annoyed.

Was he in the middle of something? Usually, the two reserved to bother him when he wasn't doing anything, which was a lot of the time. However, there were moments like training or tending to his mountain where Wukong was busy.

Maybe...

DBK rose to his feet, ready to call out and suggest that Macaque and Azure give Wukong some space. Before he could speak, there was a loud "Oh, for crying-"

And then he was grabbing Azure's collar and yanking him down.

"Hm," Yellowtusk sighed. "I guess Azure wins." He wrote out a line.

Azure certainly looked like he was winning, based on his sheer look of delight. His gift, a scroll from the village across the bay, dropped to the ground, and his hands rose to grip Wukong tight. Wukong shifted his face, and a quiet moan slipped from one of them.

Macaque, meanwhile, looked like Wukong had yanked out his heart and stomped on it. DBK couldn't help the flare of pity as tears welled up in gold eyes. The monkey turned.

Before he could march away, Wukong pushed away from Azure. "Come here, you idiot," he said, grabbing Macaque's tail and yanking him close. Macaque chirped in surprise as he was turned around. "I want you both, I'm getting you both." And with that, Wukong was yanking Macaque down and into the same passionate kiss he had given Azure.

Yellowtusk and DBK blinked.

"Huh."

"Never mind," DBK glanced back in time to see the elephant erase the scores. Instead, he wrote down WUKONG. One thick line divided the board. "Wukong wins."

#my writing #BlueEclipse #Shadowpeach #Lionpeach #LMK #Monkie Kid #LEGO Monkie Kid #Demon Bull King #Yellow-Tusked Elephant #Sun Wukong #Azure Lion #Macaque #Peng isn't there bc if they were they would've straight up killed Wukong

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thatcakelovingwitch · 1 year

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I want to put Kayne Malevolent, Michael!Distortion, Helen!Distortion, The Elephant Man, Up and Adam and Kevin Night Vale in a room and see what happens

For science of course

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uselessalexis165 · 1 year

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I’M SORRY WHAT?!

#DID HE JUST KILL THE HEAD HONCHO?!#lmk spoilers #my text #lego monkie kid #monkie kid #azure lion #golden winged peng #lmk golden winged peng #yellow tusk elephant #lmk yellow tusk elephant #jade emperor #lmk jade emperor

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des-fangirl · 2 months

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attention please in werewolf au Vimes & Angua are even COOLER!!!

#i love their dynamic in books i want more of it now that they are both 'dogs' not just figuratively #AMD NOW VIMES HAS A GOOD REASON TO DISLIKE VAMPIRES!!!#wooo #OO OO I REMEMBERED AN IDEA TOO #so #fifth elephant & they meet Angua's family you know #BUT THIS TIME VIMES LIKE HE CAN BE EVEN ANGRIER??#LIKE BRO IM A WEREWOLF TOO WTF ARE YOU DOING YOU'RE A BITCH (<-Vimes to Angua's brother)#they can mock him for being from a disgraced werewolf family #DO YOU THINK HE'LL BE ABLE TO SAY 'BATH' AND EVERYTHING STILL #like he's been hiding for so long and REPRESSING THAT BEAST IN HIM OMG THAT FITS #so he's more human that wolf now #more like a dog really...#ofc he can say 'Vetinari' he does that like. everyday #I WONDER IF IN THIS AU HE GETS REMINDED OF STONEFACE TOO #like “ahahah remember that one your ancestor? the werewolf that killed the king #yeeea thank god you're not a werewolf. but you're still a bitch just like him tho“#nah that'd be soo sus like wait what if you ARE a werewolf...#now that i think about it i think there'll be a moment when he doesn't have to hide that anymore? i guess?#but when #MAGPIESKETCHINS CMERE #need your thoughts but too shy to likee askk #des-shitpost #discworld #discworldwerewolf au #A TAG!!!

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thevoidstaredback · 2 months

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It's always graveyards. Why is it always graveyards? They're creepy as hell and, well... that's it. On the bright side, the Protection Spirits watching the gates recognize him and realize the danger he's in. Well, maybe he wasn't in real danger because the Bats and Birds don't really do the whole purposefully harming civilians things, but they are scary as hell! Chasing him down like a bat straight outta hell- obviously he was gonna run! They cornered him! Maybe he'll invest in getting them lessons in how to interact with people in and out of costume?

Honestly, Nightwing, Danny expected better of you. At least Red Hood and Signal know how to treat innocents.

Here's the thing about Protection and Guardian Spirits, though. They don't like intruders. If you're running from something and you don't have time to ask permission to enter, you best say "thank you" and bring them shiny things on your next visit. If you do have time to ask permission, you ask permission. If they think you're a threat or rude, they won't let you enter whatever they're guarding.

"Thank you," Danny said as he slowed to a walk further into the graveyard, the sound of the gates slamming closed behind him confirmation that the Bat and his gaggle wouldn't be following him in.

Wasting no time, Danny pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. It was a handy little thing he'd picked up during his stay in the House of Mysteries. Draw and door, tell it where you wanna go, open it, and go through! Beetlejuice style. Though, unlike what the Handbook for the Recently Deceased says, these doors won't actually open a door to the afterlife. He fixed that tiny glitch a while ago.

Anyway, a quick few chalk lines on the side of a mausoleum later, and Danny was opening a door to Fawcett, Philadelphia. Probably not the best choice, considering that he was trying to stay away from the Justice League, but it's better than Metropolis.

"Whoa." Damn it! He should've stayed home. "What was that, mister?"

Danny made sure the door closed behind him, praying for strength. Why did he feel like several deities were laughing at him? "Hey, kid. Can you, um, maybe not say anything about that?"

The kid, short brown hair and a red jacket stood out the most to Danny for some reason, seemed very amused. "You're gonna have to buy my silence."

Again, Danny let out a quiet, long suffering sigh. "Coffee is so not worth it." Looking at the kid, he said, "Alright, fine. I was getting coffee anyway, I'll buy ya lunch. Know any good places?"

Grinning, the kid cheered, "Hell yeah! Follow me!"

Resigned, Danny followed after the kid, easily keeping pace. About a block later, he figured he should probably get the kid's name. "I'm Danny."

"Billy."

"No last name?"

"Fae rules, dude. What's your excuse?"

He had to give it to him. "Touché."

Another three blocks of walking, Billy finally stopped at a cafe. It was a quaint place with stained white brick and a dark grey roof. There were metal chairs and tables outside the building surrounded by a wrought iron fence. The table umbrellas and the awning over the black door were light blue, matching the curtains in the inside.

The inside walls were painted baby blue with a white ceiling and a pinewood floor. The tables and chairs were all stained black with light pink cushions and table cloths. The curtains, as observed before, were all baby blue, tied back with baby pink ribbons. The lights were barely yellow, giving the room a warm feel. The counters were white with black paneling on the outside and white granite as the tops.

"Welcome in," the young man at the register greeted with a smile, "What can I get you two started with today?"

Danny envied the man. He'd obviously not been doing this long enough to gain the veteran's shine to his eye. He turned to look at the menu after telling Billy to get whatever he wanted. A mistake he'll probably pay for. "I'd like a large Red Eye, equal parts coffee and espresso, with cinnamon, honey, chocolate syrup, mint, and vodka, please."

The 'newbie' light in the man's eyes dimmed a little bit. "Um, we don't carry vodka." Glad that's the only thing he's worried about. Priorities.

Danny clicked his tongue. "Oh, well, it was worth a shot. I'd like everything else, though, please. Mix it at your own discretion."

"Alright," he was very valiant to go back to grinning, "Anything else?"

Danny motioned for Billy and the kid stepped up. "Can I get a large mocha, three chocolate chip cookies, and two sandwiches?"

The blond entered the order. "Of course! That'll be $25.37." A quick card swipe from Danny. "Thank you very much, we'll have your order out to you soon!"

The two didn't say a word as they chose a table in the corner. Danny let Billy take the seat that was open to the rest of the cafe so he wouldn't feel cornered. He had a good view of the door, though, so he wasn't complaining.

"So, how'd you do that?" Billy asked after they'd gotten their orders.

"How'd I do what?" Danny sipped his drink.

"How'd you walk outta that wall? It's solid!"

"Magic."

"I guessed that much."

"Then why'd you ask?"

"Will you teach me?"

"No."

"You didn't even think about it!"

"Okay," He paused. "No."

"Not fair." he pouted.

Putting his drink on the table, Danny summed as much fake-it-till-you-make-it energy as he could. "Magic isn't a toy and takes years of practice to get a handle on, not to mention you have to actually have an aptitude for it before you can even try. Besides, I don't know you nearly well enough to trust you with anything else."

Billy finished the cookie he was eating. "I can do it! You just gotta teach me!"

Another sigh that Danny had stopped counting. "Look, you seem like a good kid, but I'm not gonna teach you magic."

"Why not!"

"However," he continued, ignoring the demand, "I'm not gonna leave ya fully defenselessness."

"What do you mean?" Billy backed away slightly, his eyes narrowing as he moved to be able to run quickly.

Another sip. "Based off of the dirt you're covered in, the grease in your hair, and the overall poor condition of your clothes, I'm gonna bet that you're a street kid. So," he pulled a small card from his pocket, very aware that Billy was watching his hand aptly, "I'm going to leave you with this."

Slowly, the brunet took it and turned it over. "What it is?"

The white card had the initials DP in the middle, circled by an Ouroboros. The initials were completely solid, but the snake of the Ouroboros was made up of tiny runes of protection and health and healing and good fortune.

"My calling card. If you're ever in danger, hold that to your chest and ask for help. I'll be there."

Still obviously suspicious, Billy took a moment to scrutinize the card. It was cute to watch the kid act like he knew what he was looking at or for. When he seemed satisfied, he shoved the card into the inner pocket sewn into his jacket. "Thanks."

"No problem, kid," Pulling out his phone, Danny saw the time and stood, "I've gotta go now. I assume I've sufficiently bought your silence on the whole magic thing?"

Billy grinned, "I guess, but you gotta come visit me, okay?"

He chuckled, "Sure thing. See ya."

Part 2 Part 4

(I don't drink coffee, so Idk how that shit works)

Tag list: @zaiothe4th

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cocksley-and-catapult · 6 months

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wait cocksley and catapult eating each other is cannibalism? Heard it here first, Cocksley and Catapult are the same species! The C&C lore expands

#cant say shit in this house #like. you probably would consider killing an elephant or something to be murder even though ~technically~ its only murder if youre #the same species #im not mad at YOU tumblr user soldoutofnames. though i am ripping you to shreds with my teeth. i still love you in the impartial way #that i love all my askers #this is at least better than that guy (stranger) who called me a dumbass #actually fuck it sure. theyre the same species who cares

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illuminatedferret · 7 months

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I imagine one of the hardest things to work around when writing coffin fics is justifying hua "killed 33 gods for bullying dianxia once" cheng not immediately destroying lang qianqiu

#illuspeaks #tgcf #hua cheng #guoshi fangxin #lang qianqiu #it wouldnt even be hard. we all saw how lqq was in the gamblers den #boy has no sense of danger #hc killed 33 gods(+aimed for 2 more) without waiting to ask dianxia #but you think hed wait for lqq? until xl could give his 2 cents?#especially in more realistic aus where he HAS to wait bc xl is so fucked up??#i love coffin fics let me make this clear. but thats the one elephant we are all ignoring #except for naamah_beherit i mean -gestures at 4+1 fic-

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yonderghostshistories · 17 days

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