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levilxvr · 4 months

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who confessed first?

ft. levi, armin, mikasa, annie, hange x gn!reader

cw: fluff, none else that i can think of tbh

levi

you confessed first

He thinks about you every night, replaying little scenarios of your interactions in his head to feed his bedtime thoughts. Everyone knows he’s got a soft spot for you, and erwin has been telling him to grow some balls and tell you how he feels.

But one night you’re on the rooftop of hq with him, spending some time alone. It’s become one of your favourite nightly escapes, catching up and discussing each others’ worries in the dead of night. But this time was different. He was complimenting the way you look under the moonlight, fingers absentmindedly trailing through your hair. You let out a small giggle and his heart warms. God, even your laugh is so perfect.

“you know levi, I kinda like you.”

“oh?” He’s honestly not surprised, but a small part of him felt as if maybe you wouldn’t feel the same.

“hm.. good thing I’ve got a thing for you too, then.” One of his rare smiles forms on his lips and he pulls you in, stealing a quick kiss on the top of your head.

armin

he confessed first

Armin was a little drunk when he confessed, it was after a dinner party during the trip to Marley. Eren accidentally made him drink too much and you took him back to the hotel so he could rest, but he ended up clinging on tight to you, begging you to stay. Of course you agreed, and seconds later he just kinda spilled the beans in his intoxicated state.

“I.. hic- I love you.. love you so much..”

At first you tried to brush it off, thinking he didn’t really mean it since he was all drunk and blushing. But the next morning when you guys wake up you ask if he remembered what happened the night before.

“I really did mean it when I said I love you.”

The smile you return is enough for him to know you reciprocate his feelings. And armin has never been happier in his life.

mikasa

you confessed first

ok she kinda dragged it out of you lol. She caught feelings the moment her gaze landed on you, but never wanted to confess because of the fear that you’d turn her down. But over the weeks she started to get subtle hints that you like her too. Sasha keeps encouraging her to make a move but poor girl feels like she’s just being delusional HSJSFD

One day you’re alone in the gym with her, doing your daily morning workouts together as usual. She catches you eyeing her every now and then, especially while she’s doing her sit ups. It feels like your gaze is burning right through her and she can’t contain herself anymore.

“do you like me?” she randomly blurts out the question and you’re caught off guard. “I mean, it’s a safe question, I just need you to answer honestly.”

“yeah..” You turn away to avoid seeing her reaction.

“hey,” mikasa’s hand cups your cheek and turns your face back to her. “I like you. a lot. And I enjoy hanging out with you, I just wanted to be sure cuz, y’know.”

And just like that, the hard part is over and now she can finally make all her dreams come true.

annie

she confessed first

Annie isn’t one to catch feelings that easily. She prefers to keep herself reserved and unknown to the rest of the world, but every time she sees you walk by there’s this strange sensation she can’t seem to ignore.

It’s late at night and you’re lazing around in your room when you hear a knock on the door.

“I.. need to talk to you about something.” Her cheeks begin to heat up and the blood rushing to her face gives you a hint of what’s on her mind.

“You can tell me anything, annie.” You take her hands gently and she doesn’t let go.

“Every time I see you or hear your voice, there’s this.. feeling I can’t seem to put my finger on.”

“love?”

she nods. Love, thats right. She’s in love. You brush the hair out of her pretty blue eyes and squeeze her hands. When you tell her you’ve got feelings for her too, it feels as if a weight has been lifted off her shoulders and she can finally be at peace.

hange

they confessed first

It was a really unplanned, random setting. You were in hange’s lab helping to conduct an experiment with flowers and slime. You’re wearing their lab coat and goggles, standing by the side as you hold up the little glass vile of slime. The fascinated look on your face makes hange smile. You look adorable in that coat, gazing in awe at the sample they picked up earlier.

They move closer and ruffle your hair, hand lingering for just a little longer than necessary.

“you’re so cute.” Hange laughs, taking the tube from your hand and emptying it over the bowl of crushed flowers. Your heart skips a beat and you avert your gaze.

“really?”

“come on, of course you are, always! Why do you think I like having you in the lab with me?” Hange gives you a side hug and you return it, leaning your head against their shoulder.

“oh, and by the way, I mean I like like you.” they wink and go back to stirring the mixture on the table as if nothing happened.

#levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman fluff #levi x reader fluff #armin arlert fluff #armin arlert x reader #mikasa fluff #mikasa ackerman x reader #mikasa x reader #annie leonhardt x reader #annie leonhardt headcanons #annie x reader #hange fluff #hange x reader #aot headcanons

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its-the-sa · 9 months

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I'd love to hear your interpretations on those dreams at the end of artificer's campaign, the ones where you're trapped in a hallway with a scav and you have to kill them.

Personally, it's very interesting to me that in some of them, the player is the one controlling the scavenger (imagine a dream where you're someone else and it's you that's the killer, that's fucked up). I like to imagine that they began as basically arti's bloodlust carrying over to her dreams, but over time they got more complex, more detailed. Less of a violent fantasy and more of a reoccurring nightmare, maybe a symbol of her regret or a general disgust for senseless violence.

I have a headcanon where the dreams eventually make arti so sick to the stomach at the idea of violence she decides to give it up entirely, only fighting to kill something to eat. It's how I felt after finishing her campaign- I was so exhausted from the fight with the chieftain that once I won, I didn't have it in me to go around killing any more scavengers. I just felt bad for them and watched them run away from me. I couldn't do it anymore.

THIS THIS THIS!!! seriously, so many people seem to think that arti just genuinely enjoys murdering scavs, and... i mean i kinda get where theyre coming from, but to me it seems pretty clear that she is just constantly re-traumatizing herself.

like yes, she is consumed by rage, and im sure she does get satisfaction from killing them in the heat of the moment. but afterwards, i think it definitely haunts her. i imagine she tries to tell herself that 'they're all the same' and 'they deserve it', but she knows deep down that isn't true. she just keeps choosing violence because it's easier than accepting her loss. just like some people try to drown their sorrows in drugs or alcohol, arti tries to drown hers in blood. it's a self-destructive coping mechanism. as long as she is out there fighting for her life, finding enemies to hate and kill, she doesnt have to sit with her pain. but, once she goes to sleep, she cant run from her demons anymore. she has to relive her trauma and her grief, and she has to face the twisted monster she's allowed it to turn her into. theyre called 'nightmares' for a reason, after all-- they aren't fantasies about something she enjoys doing. even in the ones where she is still 'herself', she is trapped as surely as the scavenger is. theres no going back at that point. she has already dug herself into a hole where there is no choice but to keep killing.

and the ones where she is dreaming from the scav's point of view? that is like... the most perfectly brutal representation of repressed guilt i have ever seen. it shows that she on some level sympathizes and identifies with the scavengers she kills, that she's horrified at what she has become, and that she is inevitably destroying herself. all just by simply changing who the player is controlling. its freaking brilliant tbh.

anyway, i think that ultimately arti just feels guilty. she blames herself for not protecting her pups. she didnt watch them closely enough, she dropped them when she was running away, she didnt realize the blue pup got left behind at first, and she couldn't dive in the water to save the green pup. she feels like she failed them. so i think that once she took revenge on those toll scavs, the only person she had left to punish was herself. and she did it by going on to project her guilt onto every scavenger she saw. she chose to become a monster because thats what she felt she deserved to be treated like

#rain world #artificer #i just love tragic villains dont look at me #i cant imagine her ever giving up violence completely tho #to me she is very much a ruffian #she just likes fighting for fun #its the anger and the hatred thats poisoning her soul #if only she could find an opponent who is willing to fight her with honor and respect #¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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pandoratheprocrasticreator · 1 year

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Luzs main problem is that she puts everything on herself. Every problem that pops up is something she has to solve on her own bc she doesnt want to be a burden on her loved ones. She does a book report with live snakes bc she thinks itll take the stress off her mother worrying about her grades. She nearly gets blasted to bits by the blights to get gus and willow unexpelled. She brushes off her grief over her father so Amity can focus on her own problems.

It's kind of like how hunter thought in s2 and early s3, but luz isnt so jaded that she consciously recognizes this. "This is tangentially caused by me so its all my fault" and "Im just as bad as belos because im doing similar things to him" are her ways of explaining this mindset to herwelf because deep down, even luz doesnt know what the root of her problem is. These are logical fallacies that are easily broken, but luzs actual problem is her fear of burdening those she loves. Unless she addresses this, she will just come up with a new fallacy to keep with this mindset.

Luz told eda that it was her fault her magic was gone, so shes been a burden and needs to put herself in danger to make money for the family. Eda does talk about how luz should depend on her, but she mostly focuses on telling luz she isnt a burden. And its true! Eda views luz as a net good in her life! But luz still views herself as a burden.

Luz says that her grief over her dad is no big deal because she wants to help amity. Amity says that no, it is a big deal and shell help luz grieve. And amitys right. It is a big deal. Luz thinks so too. Its just that she doesnt want anyone else to be brought down by her personal isues.

Luz thinks because she helped phillip find the collector, that its her responsibility to atone for everything. Her friends and mother assure her that it wasnt her fault, and even if it was, its okay to make mistakes. But even if luz knows all that, she still thinks of herself responsible for defeating belos. Her friends who want to help are just tagalongs that she needs to do all this for.

Finally, luz questions if killing belos would make her as bad as him. The titan assures her thats not the case. Luz is nothing like belos because her intentions are good. Luz knows this. She says this in kings tide and says something similar every other time she gets to banter with belos. Maybe she doesnt believe what she says in some of the more stressful scenes but at least in the finale, luz understands this.

And then the titan grants luz their power. He gives her their hope of defeating belos and makes her responsible for the fate of everyone on the boiling isles. Luz gets help from king and eda in mastering her power, but otherwise she is the gamechanger in the fight, the one who deals the most damage. She accepts that she needs to be the one to defeat belos, and most of her friends dont get the opportunity to share in her burden by helping.

When belos spews his nonsense about how luz is evil for not helping him, she doesnt respond because shes known its not true for a long time. The titan just confirmed it for her. But luz is still shouldering the burden of saving the isles. With help from barely any of her loved ones.

The solution to luzs fear of burdening the people she loves is for her loved ones to show that its okay. To be loved is to be someone elses burden and share someone elses burden in turn. If luz cant do something, someone who cares about her can help her do it. Or do it for her.

In thanks to them, luz puts herself in danger to save hunter from belos, but hunter and flapjack were ultimately the ones who defeated him. In for the future, luz couldnt stave off kikimora on her own, so the students at hexside do it for her. In watching and dreaming, luz was killed by belos. In return, she was rewarded with the power to defeat him with almost none of her friends to help. She is still bearing most of the burden on her own, same as the start of the show.

#shut up pandora #the owl house #toh #luz noceda #watching and dreaming #does this make sense?#this is my main problem with the finale i dont think they truly tackled luzs deepest issue #the scene with the titan was fine but they should have had an emotional climax afterwards where another of luzs loved ones lays this out #imo anyway #i know luz eda and king are the main trio and therefore should get the most focus #but luz getting friends who understand her and care for her was a major part of her arc #shes not alone anymore. she has people to help #so why does her fight in the finale feel so lonely?

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the-blaze-empress · 2 years

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look. i know you don’t like isabela madrigal. but i do. and im here to ramble bc why not

yeah, she was a dick to mirabel, there’s no denying that but theres way more to her character than just being mean to her sister (and im not trying to justify anything im literally just rambling)

shes the eldest sister of her family, and fuck does that come with a lot of pressure. i was the eldest sister for 18 years until i came out as agender, and it can be hard. the need to always be perfect is really, really there. you’re the eldest, you set the standard, and you set it high. your siblings look up to you, your family praises you, and thats the only way you get acknowledged. by being perfect. by doing it all right. by helping the family because you always do so well at everything you dont even need to try that hard!

the pedestal you’re placed on rises and rises, you have to juggle a lot to stay on top and not crash and burn, you have to do what’s expected of you. or at least thats what it feels like. yes, isabela was perfect, but she didnt really have a choice. there are years upon years upon years of expectations to be exactly how everyone else sees you put upon you, whether you like it or not.

and that leads me to my second point, regarding bruno’s prophecy about isabela.

He told me that the life of my dreams Would be promised, and someday be mine He told me that my power would grow Like the grapes that thrive on the vine

we know that isabela never wanted to marry mariano, we saw the joy she got out of not being perfect every second of every day. but how did she feel before?

she’s been told she’ll get everything she wants, and yet her life only continued as it was. marrying mariano, making flowers, being pristine and proper. he’d obviously told her this many years ago when mirabel was young, and it didnt come true for a long time. how long did isabela go thinking that this was supposed to be the life she wanted? how long did she go thinking that this was all she would ever have, that she had to be perfect for the rest of her life? and how detrimental would that be? she was told she’d have everything that she wants and yet she got none of it, for at least a decade. her hope would have probably died when she was still a kid, succumbing herself to this life of pressure and perfection.

isabela madrigal. i know you don’t like her, but i relate to her a little too strongly

#encanto #isabela madrigal #madrigal #disney #mirabel madrigal #isabela #mirabel #dolores madrigal are you single #i know ur not but pls #camilo my beloved #yeah so anyways #mental health?#yeah idk her #original thoughts in their natural habitat

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words-for-holland · 3 years

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Always Yours

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Sometimes dating a celebrity is hard...but Tom & Y/N have always said no matter what happens they could get through anything. Some angst but a lot of fluff.

A/N: So sorry for leaving yall hanging! Life is just crazy right now and this blog needs a lot of TLC tbh!! Also ehh I def dont think this was my best work but enjoy?

“Oof” Y/N lets out as she plops on to her boyfriend who was lying comfortable on the couch. Tom groaned at the impact with a cheeky smile on his face, his arms instantly wrapping around Y/N’s frame.

“Y’know..there are empty seats right there.” The soft brown-eyed boy gestured with the flick of his thick head as Y/N raises her eyes looking down at him, pretending to be slightly offended.

“Oh I see how it is then. It’s cool...Ill just cuddle with Tessa instead. I know she would welcome me with open arms instead of—” As she slowly starts getting off his chest, Tom is quick to pull her back in, securing her with his strong arms. “No baby, I was just kidding. I want you right here, and Im never letting you go.” he pleas.

The only thing Y/N could manage was letting out a fit of giggles into his chest, a sound that Tom adored and would do absolutely anything to hear every minute of every day. They stay like this for a while enjoying the feeling of each other as they both run their hands into each others hair, the feeling of their chests moving up and down, the subtle thumps of their heartbeats, and the little slips of adoration that came out of their mouths. It was peaceful. A moment that nobody could really take a way because it was theirs.

Y/N casually pulls up her phone, and scrolls through Twitter when she noticed a particular tweet on her timeline. Her eyebrows furrow, as she read the 160 character message.

Why Tom Holland Should Be With Aaliyah Cole and Dump Y/N: A Thread.

She knew it wasnt a good idea to open up the thread. She knew very well that everything within the shallow string of tweets would be a complete waste of her time because it was made up by fans who just wanted to satisfy their fantasy of shipping Tom with his co-star. Who can blame them? They always had great chemistry, but it was part of the job and thats all it would ever be.

“You’re awfully quiet.” Tom murmurs, as he places soft kisses at the crown of her head. “Whats going on?” She was lucky her phone was facing away from Tom, quickly closing the app and pretending to be on one of her many tabs in Safari.

“Mmm..nothing.” Y/N lies softly, a tight-lipped smiled plastered on her face.

“Absolute bullocks. Youre not a very good liar.” He chuckles. “Tell me darling. Whats on your mind?”

Y/N rolls her eyes in response. She’s heard that comment one too many times in her life from everyone shes known. After not giving it much thought, she gives in, sighing heavily. “Dont judge me for what Im about to say.”

“Mmm...I think it might depend on wha— Ow” Tom reacts as he playfully rubs the side of his chest that Y/N hit. “Okay too soon for jokes. Go on.”

Again, Y/N sighs as she props herself up. “Its just ... well a lot of your fans keeps talking about wanting you to get with Aaliyah.” She looks down trying not to make eye contact with Tom, who she’d imagine was looking at her with annoyance.

Tom rolls his eyes at the ridiculousness. Not so much at Y/N but the fact that some of his fans just didnt want to accept the fact that he was happy with Y/N. If it had to come from his mouth to stop the stupid rumors and give his girlfriend peace, then hed gladly yell it from the rooftops for everyone to hear. “Thats it Im making a statement about it.”

Y/N’s eyes widen in fear, scrambling to prevent him from grabbing his phone on the table next him. “No no no no.” She repeatedly declines. “You’ll only make it worse.”

“Darling, Im not going to stand here and watch you get all insecure because of their delusional ship.”

“Yeah well Im not gonna be the reason your fans hate me because Im getting in the way of your friendship with Aaliyah Cole.” She fires back.

Tom was ready to open his mouth only to be cut off once again. “And you know better. That is how your fans will always see it.”

“Okay, are you done?” He calmly asked, cautiously observing her. Rarely did Y/N ever get worked up about anything, but when she had her tangents, Tom always made sure she got off everything she needed to say before he becomes her voice of reason.

“Yeah, I guess.” she says feeling defeated. “Look its whatever and Im tired, can we just let this go and forget this whole conversation even happened?”

Tom was unconvinced, but didnt want to push her further. So reluctantly, he gave in and wrapped his arms around Y/N as they both tried to lull themselves to sleep.

***

Y/N wasnt sure how she ended up in the Tube. It was strange how the lights flickered off the rusted tile floor. The train was no where to be seen, but off to the side of the railroads was pitch black, she could hardly see beyond. To her right she noticed herself standing in the corner of the room, and to her surprise Aaliyah was there. Her milk chocolate kissed skin, and fashionably long frizzy hair dropped down past her shoulders. Her figure long and poised, as she wore a rain jacket and sweats. An outfit only she could pull off and make it look like she was a model for Vogue. Aasliyah smiles brightly at Y/N.

“Hey Y/N.” She says cheerfully as a genuine friend would.

To Y/N’s surprise she greeted her back in the same tone. “Hey Aaliyah...uhh whats going on?” Y/N wasnt sure if she wanted the answer of how they both ended up in the Tube or if she truly wanted to know how her day went.

“Well Im getting ready to present at the Oscars.” She replies, a smile plastered as if she was so excited about it, almost too excited like she was keeping a secret.

“Really? Oh my god, that’s amazing! Im so proud of you Aaliyah! Who are you taking?”

Aaliyah pauses for a few moment looking back and forth, making sure no one else was around. “Okay can you keep a secret?” She whispered.

Y/N nods her head slowly, not having the slightest clue of what was going on. “Im taking Tom. I think he really likes me, and well...I like him too! Do you think maybe I should ask him when we go?” Aaliyah asked genuinely. It was almost like she had no recollection of Y/N and Tom being a couple. “I think we would look good together. Everyone is already making rumors and ships about us.”

Y/N backs aways lowly only to bump into a broad figure. As she turns around she sees Tom, emotionless and almost sad. “Y/N.” He speaks out. “I dont think this is going to work out. Im leaving you.”

Y/N’s heart quickens, and her breaths become shorter as she tries to find a way to run. Running and running into the darkness, until all she could hear was Tom’s faint voice calling out her name.

***

“Y/N! Y/N! Baby wake up please.” Tom cries as he gently shakes his girlfriend from her disturbed sleep.

Quickly Y/N opens her eyes and clutches on to Toms hoodie firmly. Back home, and in Toms arms. It was a dream was all she thought. A sigh of relief escaping from her mouth.

“Darling...” he speaks softly, worried about his girlfriend. “Are you okay?”

Y/N looks up at him and nods frantically. “Mmm..bad dream.”

“Yeah it seemed like it. You were so frightened...I was scared. What happened?” He’s looking at her, trying to read her saddened eyes, wanting to desperately understand what scared her so he could make it all go away for her.

Y/N looks down at her fiddling hands, as she sits on the couch. “I uhh...” she lets out a chuckle, thinking of the ridiculousness of it all. “I uhh...dreamed about Aaliyah going to the oscars and saying how she loved you and how you two are perfect for each other. When I turned around I saw you but you werent happy and said you were leaving me.”

Tom doesnt say a word, all he could think about was how sorry he felt to put Y/N in this position. Though both of them knew, It wasnt Toms fault, or anyone’s for that matter. Feelings are feelings and that was okay. No human being was ever born perfect and without insecurities.

Y/N always tried to be a good sport with situations like this knowing every shippers theory and evidence were hardly ever true, but at some point there was only so much she could take before it all came out like an oil spill. Maybe it was a sign that she wasnt good enough to be with Tom if half of his fanbase thought this way as well.

Tom cradled her into his arms again, holding her tightly and kissing the top of her head. “Darling, I know youre still doubting yourself about all of this, but please believe me when I tell you that I love you so so much and no matter what happens...Im always yours.” He whispers gently in her ear. “It was only a dream and these ridiculous rumors and theories are just that. No one woman in the world could ever make me feel the way I feel for you.”

Y/N blinks softly, as she stares into space. Afraid and in a weird way ashamed, its funny how something so small and so minimal could affect her self-esteem so greatly. Tom gently brings her head up, so her eyes can meet his. He rolls his thumb on the bottom of her soft lips. “Hey, I love you.” Tom smiles.

Time stopped for the both of them the moment Y/N looked into his eyes, she felt safe. All the bad words and thoughts slowly disappear. Tom was right, none of the things that anyone said about their relationship mattered. She knew Tom loved her, and how much she truly loved him. Isnt that enough? Of course not. It was more than enough. A smile slowly forming on Y/N’s face. “Theres that smile I love so much.” He comments.

“Im sorry, for being such a —”

“No. Its okay. You have a right to feel the way you did.” He picks up her hand and leaves a gentle kiss.

“I love you so much Tom.” She says pressing her lips to his. “I dont deserve you.”

“Darling, its me that doesnt deserve you. Im always yours.” Tom proclaims as he kisses her back.

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #peter parker #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader

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samnyangie · 3 years

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Hehehehe I was bit hesitant to post this but it’s too gold not to share it! Plus, it’s a great contrast to this interview as he was being mature discussing acting in depth and overall, just serious(but cute haha). This one is light hearted (also bit cringey) as it talks about his past crush, Love letter, ‘snogging’ aka kissing(!!!!) and Romeo and Juliet, it’s more gossipy in a way? But I wholeheartedly love this interview, he’s so adorable.

So, I hope you also like this as well:D

*warning: there’s a slight mention about suicide and shooting!

(Credit)

__________________________________

"Robert Sean leonard's Lip Service..." (My Guy & Girl Interview Feb 1991)

Robert Sean Leonard's Lip Service...

What a kiss-and-tell merchant this boy is!

Robert couldn't wait to talk about snogging...wet ones, ones that make you want to puke! Eee...yuk!

But first we wanted to find out what he'd been up to since Dead Poet's Society and what his new film Mr and Mrs Bridge is about.

So Robert, what have been doing since Dead Poets Society?

"Oh, I filmed that a little over two years ago now. At the moment I'm in the stage production of Romeo and Juliet with the Riverside Shakespeare Company in Manhatten. I've also just made a movie called Married To It. I hope the title will change 'cause I don't like it very much. It's about three couples and I play the husband who's married to Mary Stuart Masterson. Cybil Shepherd is in it too.

"For a While after Dead Poets I went back to college. I took a year off and did some theatre. I also wanted to wait for a good film. A lot of the films that came my way were just typical teenage American junkie films. I waited and waited for something special until Mr & Mrs Bridge came along. I was so thrilled to get it."

What is it about then?

"It's about a family at a time before the war when four individuals spoke up, rebelled. It's sort of the last family unit in America where father knows best. The children don't have any rights-because they're the children.'

I play the strong silent type, who rebels when his father won't let him join the army. Paul Newman plays the father, and he's just such a brilliant actor. To me Mr and Mrs Bridge is about the importance of communication.

Going back to Dead Poets, is it true you got the part because you were unknown?

"Yes. The director, Peter Weir, had the talent and the guts to tell Touchstone pictures that he didn't want any famous actors. I was 19 when I got the part of Neil Perry, but i'd been working on stage in New York for five years before that-I started young.

"I still remember the weekend when we filmed the shoot-it was really depressing, just like the whole film. I'm just glad I didn't have to shoot myself on screen-all that mess!"

Was your school much like Dead Poets? All those stuffy traditions and horrible uniforms?

"My school was very, very, very different. I went to an ordinary public high school. It was much less restrictive. And we didn't have to wear uniforms. At my school there were the metalheads, leatherheads, deadheads and band fags -and I was a leatherhead, wore all the biker gear!"

So you were a rebel just like Neil then?

"Ha ha ha! Well I wasn't exactly a goody goody, thats for sure! I suppose I was a bit of both really. I was so focused on acting I didn't become too rebellious as a teenager. Besides I got to rant and rave on stage every night.

"But I was never at school that much anyway. I had to leave lunchtimes to go to the theatre. Strangely I didn't have many good friends like "The Society" But I did get along with everyone. There were a lot of similarities between Neil and myself, though. His passion for acting and learning. But unlike his parents, mine were, and are, incredibly supportive. The Dead Poets Society still get together you know. Most of the guys from the film live in New York and I've kept in touch with them all. There was a real camaraderie between us on the set that's carried over.

What subject did you hate the most at school?

"Well I loved things like history but my worst subject was gym. I always 'forgot' my trainers. I mean I like sports, but it's just that i'm such a miserable failure at them.

Did you get lots of Valentine cards when you were younger?

"I got a lot of cards at school, but not since. Actually I got a Valentine card last year from a fan, a girl in London would you believe. I don't know if I'll get any cards this year, but it would be nice. Am I sending any this year? Ahh Now that would be telling....!"

Have you ever sent love letters?

"I've never sent a love letter to someone I didn't know. I sent a secret one at school. There was a girl in High School that I had a heavy crush on, for four years! But I never had the guts to ask her out. I wrote her a card and I actually quoted a Blues Bothers song. 'I have everything I need, almost, but I don't have you. And that's the thing I need the most'. But I didn't sign it. She may have thought someone else sent it.

So, who was this lucky girlie, then?

"Her name was Joanna, she was my first big crush. From 13 to 17! She never ever knew 'cause I was really shy...I still am! Her last name was Lenz, so her locker was right next to mine, Leonard. So I got to see her every morning when we got our books. I did talk to her, and tried to make her laugh. Her house was pretty near mine too. I had a few pretty late nights where I'd go and sit on her lawn. She didn't know, but i'd just sit on the grass and think. I suppose that's just a normal thing about growing up."

Have you met her since you've become a famous filmstar?

"Well she moved to Florida when I was 17. It was the last I heard of her. Maybe I'll see her at our class reuinion. In America you always have a five-year reunion when you're 22 and you go back to school. I don't know if I'll still fancy her though..."

What first attracts you to someone?

"When I was 13 it was simply the way a girl looked and talked, and moved. Those things are still important now. But also someone who can make me laugh and talk about the same things and who has the same dreams"

What is your favourite romantic movie?

"It has to be 'Singin' In The Rain' I just loved the dancing and the scene where Gene Kelly sings to Debbie Reynolds in the studio. I'd love to do something like that, but I don't think I'd have the talent for it.

Have you, erm, heard of the word 'snogging'?

"Ha ha ha! That's a really English word. If you had asked me before I'd done Romeo and Juliet, I wouldn't have had a clue! But our stage director is English.

There's this one scene in Romeo and Juliet, the kiss goodbye, and he used to snap his fingers and shout "Come on, come on you two, we don't want this to be a snogging session"."

Do you remember your first snog?

"My first proper girlfriend used to play the piano and I played the guitar...we used to play music together (we'll bet!). That was when I had my first real kiss. I was terrified! She blew me away. There was a lot of fumbling, not knowing what to do. I remember kissing, then feeling nauseous (ie. wanting to puke). I just wanted to go home. I didn't feel pressurised into doing it, or anything. I just felt strange 'cause it was something new. In some ways I wasn't quite ready for it. Like it was something you're expected to do. But it's kinda hard to tell a girl you feel nauseous and you want to go home!!"

What's your biggest snogging turn-off?

"Gosh! Well it really turns me off when girls kiss wildly, when they try to swallow you. Or when their mouths are wet. I prefer it when it's relaxed and tender."

Have you had any other dating disasters?

"Not lately. I'm much to busy for girlfriends just now. But there was something in Romeo and Juliet, though. On the opening night I was in the tomb and I had to kill Paris then go and talk to Jiliet. I realised my dagger was missing, and she needs it to kill herself. So I just had to stop the show. I just looked at the audience and said 'Er, excuse me, but I've just lost the dagger! We'll have to stop until I find it'.

So I looked and looked until I found it...underneath Paris actually, who was lying dead in the corner. So I put it back in my sheath and said 'Okay, move on!"

Are you a good Romeo?

"Yes, indeed. Luckily I didn't have to climb up the wall to the balcony or anything.

Shakespeare really made an error at that point. If Romeo and Juliet touched or kissed in the balcony scene I think Shakespeare would surely have written about it. Whereas there's no indication where they touch at all. Did I have to wear tights? Oh, yes, I had to wear them all right. I've worn them before too. You get used to it. You forget you're wearing them after a while." Could be dangerous that...

#robert sean leonard #rsl #interview #dead poets society #theatre

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evilvarric666-archive · 3 years

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that post about self sacrifice narratives made me think of how da accidentally goes a step further and ends up (in part) being a cautionary tale about self sacrifice, or rather showing people the other side of self sacrifice and the ugly side of the glorification of martyrdom. like im not going to mention it all, but take dao as an example. the figure of the warden/hero necessarily originates from sacrifice (except in the brosca origin where brosca's life was already permeated by sacrifice, and the figure of the warden is born not from sacrifice or tragedy, but from both this sense of chance or destiny, rage and revenge, which is VERY interesting to me but i dont want to go off topic), and the game seems to constantly insist on the idea of glorifying sacrifice "for a good cause". this is not alarming to the audience, because its something constantly seen in other similar mainstream narratives: the someone sacrifices themselves for the greater good and everyone is better off because of that sacrifice. because a narrative that shows the good and virtuous side of sacrifice for a greater purpose is useful, so why would they bother to explore how inhuman it is to ask someone to give up their life, how painful it is to resign oneself to misery so others can live. they never make you think about the person behind the act, they take advantage of the distance of the audience, they dehumanize the figure of the martyr to make them perfect and virtuous to further a certain narrative, and they focus on showing the "bigger picture" to promote a certain message. but there are instances where the game tries to show the player some hidden cracks in that particular "self sacrifice is noble act" ideology. the issue is that they are fairly easy to ignore. we can choose to ignore the fucked up-ness behind the deaths of the recruits during the joining because they happened to further a greater cause. we can ignore the grief of the families that have lost loved ones in battle because thats what happens during war and there's nothing anyone can do about it. we distance ourselves from the grief and misery of martyrdom by glorifying the heroes that sacrifice everything, distance ourselves from the messed up inhuman nature of the idea of asking a person to sacrifice their life in exchange for the lives of others, because we're playing a game, we truly don't risk anything, and we dont have to give up our lives, so its easy for us to mantain this idea of "sacrifice=good" and even easier to get influenced to carry that idea into real life and see it as a virtue. to think only of the heroic part. but if we choose to go through with the dark ritual, the game instantly turns the tables on us, gets personal, and forces us to pay attention to the misery and pain, the unfairness and the helplessness, the mutual suffering that self sacrifice truly entails, using the only person we can't completely help or "save": morrigan(1/2)

(putting the rest under a readmore bc it's long but OH MY GOD?)

(2/3) For someone like morrigan who's had to fight tooth and nail all her life just to survive in a wild and hostile environment with not a word of kindness or a helping hand ever being offered to her, for someone like morrigan who had to learn that she could trust no one but herself ever, that the world was a cruel savage place and the only way to survive it was to be just as cruel, cunning and manipulative, that was certain that love and friendship were illnesses experienced by fools who were looking for a quick death or betrayal or worse, that fully believed that having power over everyone acquired through any means so that she couldnt be hurt or taken advantage of was the only important thing in life, for someone like morrigan who finally got the chance to make her seemingly impossible dreams come true and also be in a relatively safe position for the first time in her life, who finally got to experience love and care from others and mutual companionship, friendship and selflessness, and finally was part of a real "family" for the first time in her life, to give up ALL THAT and her own freedom simply for the sake of another person, without getting any real reward or benefit from it, when she could've just thrown everyone under the bus like she'd been taught all her life and lived safely the way she'd ALWAYS wanted? thats messed up and painful to experience, and made even more painful by the knowledge that the warden can only watch, because nothing they say will make her not sacrifice herself. and she'd be the perfect martyr, the perfect example of the virtue in sacrifice if only the whole thing was seen from a distance, if it wasnt for the warden/player getting to see firsthand and personal how terrifying, fucked up and unfair the whole situation is, for both them who are on the receiving end and for morrigan, but mainly for morrigan. morrigan, whose life has been nothing short of miserable, choosing to give up and destroy her own dreams, choosing the prospecy of misery and loneliness, choosing to be far away from the world she loves, choosing to GIVE UP HER LIFE IN THEIR WORLD to let someone she loves live happily and safely, even despite all the pain and grief that separation and sacrifice cause in her heart. she gives up EVERYTHING WILLFULLY for ANOTHER PERSON'S SAKE, she puts the life of another before her own in the most absolute and painful of ways, going aganist every painful lesson in her life, solely because of love.

(3/3) theres just no bigger sacrifice than what she did. to not only go aganist everything youve been taught and completely believed all your life, but also to sacrifice yourself and decide to face the idea of not death, but the idea of a life of pain and loneliness again, a life with little to no benefits for which you had to give up everything you wanted, a life that includes the terrifying reality of having to give birth to and raise a child, alone, with all the trauma morrigan has surrounding the idea of that particular experience, just for the sake of another person that only offered you love and friendship for a short moment in your life? it's the biggest declaration of love for another being that could ever be made, and it's the most messed up thing ever because it speaks volumes about how starved morrigan was, how messed up her love is for her to consider that one chance given to her by another person, that hand extended towards her, that moment of friendship, love and kindness, worthy of sacrificing ten years of her life and her dreams for. how little she must care for herself if she gave up so much for the first person that extended kindness to her for a short time. and it's painful because it goes both ways, because sacrifices always do, because it's unforgettable and it stays with the warden forever, not only because of the emotional bond they have with morrigan, but because now they have a literal bond between them. the warden now has to keep living a life they took from morrigan, and with the grief of not having morrigan around. they can no longer live for themselves. every day alive is a reminder that someone else gave up their time so the warden could have it. someone else is not seeing the world just to let the warden see it. someone else is alone, while the warden gets to be around people. and the sacrifice is mutual in the end, because the pain is mutual, because the love was mutual. the warden doesnt get to see morrigan, and can only keep this life and the memories, the love and the grief, and the undying hope as a reminder that someday they might meet again. but its mostly grief, and learning how to live with it, with all the love they can't give, and how to carry it gracefully.

#ANON THIS IS SO-#I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO THIS. VERY GOOD. LOVE YOUR BRAIN #dragon age tag

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artreider · 3 years

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Station 19 rewatch: 4x14

Going to try to do another rewatch before my family wakes up. We have a lot to do today and there is a dark cloud over the house after loaing our cat this week. Here's hoping i can get through one of my favorite episodes before they get up.

Surrera is so cute here and the whole food thing, like girl where is our payoff on this baby that was so clearly teased. Or is there another medical condition that could be blamed on her excessive eating.

Im so glad maya and andy are friends again. I loge their friendship.

I'm glad andy acknowledges that getting married doesnt fix things; but i worry that if maya and carina hit a rough patch, andy will remind maya of this conversation or use her own issues with sullivan and their marriage as an i told you so.

Danielle is beautiful but does anyone else think she lost weight, random question but just looking at her in her uniform there she seems smaller and it worries me. Didnt really notice last time i watched this episode but am i alone in this.

Oh carina baby you so dont want to go. I just want to hug you.

Jack is so cute, he deserves a family so much but i really do fear he'll be killed off.

Im surprised ben reached out to Sullivan instead of dean.

I love this outfit on maya. Carina your girl is flirting with you and thinking of happier times, engage with her.

I love that maya opens up with carina about her dad and the protests and the happenings in the world with him. It shows so much growth and im here for it. Also anyone else annoyed that one carina answered gabriella's phone call when maya is opening up to her and two that she didnt turn it off for their last few hours together.

The look of like disappointment/devestation on maya's face when carina answers the call and walks away from her is too much hurt.

So sad that bailey isnt there and that ben is alone for even a second of this.

I'm glad andy and sullivan came to be there with ben. Like i get why they wanted andy but im sad after ben and Dean's episode dean wasnt there.

Oh jack, i dont even know what to say besides oh jack lol.

The drama with trash girl is too much lmao. I know its important for jack/inara but its just too much.

Carina packing up her knives being a trigger for maya like she's leaving forever is heartbreaking.

Carina snapping at maya hurts, dont be mean to baby. Also the kitchen sign is totally carina's doing and though she hadnt confided in maya yet that she is her home its a dead giveaway.

I really need screen grabs of the changing words on the sign.

The kids talk, the coming out talk and the marriage talk are all things that should not be done while packing or doing anything else.

Wait it totally sounded like she said "it felt pregnant" lmao or i just have babies on the brain.

Now carina being flirty and maya not reciprocating.

Maya you shouldve pushed the marriage talk now if it was what you really wanted. Instead of letting carina drop the i never wanted to get married bomb and walk away.

Andy and ben together, this friendship is beautiful. I feel like it took several seasons for ben to really get in good the team. Im trying to think of other moments besides the prt support and such when he really connected with folks before this season and none come to mind. He has been an outlier from my memory, tell me im wrong with examples please.

Lmao "you slept with my wife which means we are in a pod", things a pandemic makes funny.

Thats just wrong, giving gibson shit still. Dont hit the puppy with the newspaper when he's doing nothing wrong.

Once again with gabriella, seriously carina turn off your phone and be present with maya and maya alone.

Maya's jealousy is everything. This argument ugh, so good and just the tip of the iceberg.

I hope that maya does take the month break and the months after to really get to know the us immigration system and what it will take for carina to become an american citizen as well as learn more italian. I dont need her fluent but id love to see her use some italian with carina. She lost her brother who she spoke to in her native tongue itd be nice for her to gain that in her wife.

I love how carina stops herself as she raises her voice at maya, like she realizes it may be triggering to maya. I really do think the show and actresses put in a lot in this episode to show how well they know each other and have grown. I feel like they talk more even if we dont see it and maya is working on her issues with carina's love and support. I also do love how this argument ends though ;)

Once again maya opening up and finally carina is there and not sidetracked. And its nice carina opens up as well.

Ben's dream with the different versions of himself and his mom is funny and heartbreaking.

Joey in the dream lmao.

The nice thing about ben is if he gets hurt on the job and cant be a firefighter anymore he has other professions to fall back on.

Oh jack. I just want you to get your happy ending.

I still think its so weird to be talking about jack after they had sex but im glad they are in a place that is so comfortable and can laugh about him.

Once again another bomb dropped, kids. This is something that needs to be discussed properly.

Oh maya dont drop the marriage bomb like that. And i guess i dont underatand the outrage of the "just because", like why would carina think it was anything but that when it was dropped on her like that and after she said she didnt want to get married. This fight is so much about misunderstandings and hurtful comments.

I get how maya's fear gets the best of her here especially after carina said they just moved in together because they didnt want to be apart (asif that is a bad thing) and it was bureaucracy.

And i can understand why maya's fear hurts carina but they both needed to take a minute to breathe and try to talk it out.

I do like when carina tells maya to breathe, again like she knows her triggers and feels maya is on the verge of a panic attack.

If carina felt she married maya when she moved in i really dont see the harm in making it official. Would her having been moved out in italy for 6 months or more have felt like a divorce. I really need to know more about her logic here.

I agree why not just do it.

You've both said enough carina. I hate that she just walks away, so un carina like.

How did jack end up at the hospital? Was he called or what?

Andy is such a good friend this episode, checking on everyone.

Gabriella is so right noone wants to be proposed to the way maya kind of did. Like i cant help but wonder how carina would've taken a true proposal.

Im so glad gabriella spoke some truth to carina and turned her around on the marriage idea.

If we let the wrong decisionss rule how we live our lives things in the world would be so different. Less babies possibly and fewer marriages among other things.

Once again andy being a good friend this episode.

If carina hadnt shown up im curious what maya's next move wouldve been after talking to andy.

Love the proposal and love how its carina who announces they are getting married.

#station 19 #maya bishop #carina deluca #maya x carina #marina #maya and carina #maya and carina station 19 #carina x maya #danielle savre #robert sullivan #andy herrera #ben warren #miranda bailey #surrera #jack gibson

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causeicanmakethedevilcry · 3 years

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how I think snk might end

With chapter 138 out (finally) I can finally put my two cents in this. Again feel free to add any other theory to this, whether it is a ‘epilogue of all the characters’ or even a uno-reverse moment from the vile mastermind evilest of mangakas: Isayama himself (though I doubt it).

disclaimer : I am spewing bullshit, I am broken as of now.

First of all, with Eren dead (as we think so) we might in the last chapter have about three options for Isayama closing the shitshow that was SNK.

Ist Possible Ending : Eren being revived.

This isn’t anything new anyone hasn’t theorized before. But Eren coming back to life in the last chapter (thus we might finally get a fucking idea on what this idiot was thinking while choosing the Rumbling and totally letting us inside his mind) has to have a more optimistic view. Before we name the improbabilities of this, we must see the evidence backing up this.

Zeke, a royal blood and titan holder, got revived not once, but twice. First time even as we desired for this quite unliked character to kick the bucket, did in fact not, and made a second come back for what I call whatever “Isayama-reason”. As for the second time, you could argue that Zeke coming back to life as the rest of the other late-Titan shifters (Ymir, Porco, Bertholdt, etc) was either a “power of friendship” event or possibly Ymir’s doing to serve to her advantage. (A miscommunication of the manga because isn’t Ymir out of PATHS? Did they themselves snap back to life?)

Even so, with this, our homicidal crazy MC might make it back. For what? I do not own enough braincells to process what else he would want to accomplish after, well, killing half the population and attempting against everyone he ever loved, so unless for revealing a baby-daddy theory (which I am somehow still semi on-board for, don’t judge, one can stupidly hope), OR ending up with whatever girl of his dreams and get a nice cliché ending to fit the narrative of all shipwars and shippers alike, hell, even Isayama’s usual “gotcha” ending where the reversal of idiot MCs dying and sacrificing themselves being overthrown by this manga? We might get Jaeger back (chances are low, however when in doubt, don't undermine Isayama)

2nd Possible Ending : Historia’s POV (finally) + desired Epilogue

With Eren *actually* dead (Thanos’ no resurrections this time) Isayama might (and thats a big might) give us more entail with Historia’s POV that has been avoided for, again, some strange Isayama-reason. ‘Eren being revived’ can be debunked, due to Eren setting Ymir free from PATHS (or what we can tell with her being outside during the Alliance trying to stop the rumbling and even Armin witnessing her). Her not being in PATHS longer (theorizing again) might not allow her to build Eren back like she did with Zeke.

In this case, Historia could be the final key to seeing what Eren wanted to accomplish, given that he confided in her (for some reason) besides pro-genocide Floch, who is dead. The last one remaining is the queen herself, who we might come to know why she supported/kept silent about our deceased anti-hero. Probably confessing if Eren was a crazy homicidal son of a titan, or, most likely confirming most of the reader’s suspicion was: “He DId iT aLl fOr HiS FriEnDs” and we can proudly see Eren’s actions as almost honorable, miraculously revealing Jaeger as actually doing some good for the sake of our detrimental minds. Given so, finally setting a proper ending to SNK and maybe getting a glimpse about life of our character’s and the Eldians as Marleyans moving on from the as time passes by. Mikasa, Armin, Levi, Jean Connie, Annie, and everyone else moving on from Eren, and living that “free” life their friend tried to give them at the end of the day. (It would be really wishy washy for Isayama’s taste in storytelling). Better yet, anticipatedly allow our beloved characters to live peacefully and well, live. An epilogue sounds just right, and in my mind, fucking earned by everyone involved.

At this rate I do not wanna appear dumb and follow the baby-daddy theory any longer, as I said Isayama ain’t one for happy endings, so Historia’s last minute explanatory true conception is downright time-taking and LATE ; fit that? in around 41 pages? it’s more impossible than you think.

3rd Possible Ending : LETS START THE LOOP AGAIN

With the coming of chapter 138, we have gone all the way to the beginning, tying the plot perfectly, and confirming the Loop Theory (well, somehow). Thus, besides a small recount of how all the survivors are doing after the events of the Uprising Arc, we might even get a small scene where Grisha is the man from the ‘last panel’ holding baby Eren. I have seen many theorizing this, even me supporting this idea, that since Isayama, mentioned the last panel being this:

We are not dumb, guys. It’s probable we’ll end the story with the loop just as the beginning with Mikasa and Eren “see you later” scene, and how amazing/whack is that? With this, horrifically demonstrating just how hellish this world/story really is (similar to Grave Of The Fireflies heh?)

Who knows? After all this time, when we thought Eren figured this all by himself and grew attached to the poor Ymir, it’s likely she instilled the idea of freedom since he was small, making him unable to escape this loop, reliving it continuously (with seeing with memories/altering through PATHS) and falling prey to Ymir using him every time to ‘free’ herself from PATHS. This story might be how a suffering person takes it all out on the world forever, echoing how we as a society are in reality guilty of this or some sort of thrown-in-you-face last minute self-refectory moment? (or maybe this is them breaking the loop, at this rate we don’t know, I don’t claim any of my theories since the release of ch.138, I am in shambles).

As depressing as it is, it is the most fitting end to this story. Dare I say, even Isayama-worthy. All I do not want, is for Isayama to make this manga a type of “take it as you will” or leave it up for everyone’s own way of perception. Imagine? Him saying everyone can interpret this manga however we see, with our own justified take of events from start to finish? And that this story can is anything you want to believe. It would be new for a genre in manga, but in my opinion, very unsatisfactory (again, 41 pages to fill? there is only much he can do).

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literaila · 4 years

Text

lurking

spencer reid x reader

summary: reader longs for spencer

warnings: fluff? longing.. no real conclusion. mentions of alcohol..its based off of a day dream i have all the time so... beware...ummm.. thats it

***

Dreams are things made out of hope.

Dreams are made out of emotions you collect as a child, emotions that you store in your back pocket for a rainy day. For the future. Dreams are made out of all the things that you once saw as reality. Things that escape you as you age, as you fade away from the bright-eyed child you were. Once were.

Dreams are made out of things that fall out of your pocket.

Dreams are invasions, popping into your head at any moment, any second, awake or asleep. They crawl around your insides, looking for your weakest spot, the very place that will hurt you most.

They lurk. Climbing over walls and tip-toeing through corridors. They lurk and they don't leave. No, for them, there is no exit, no signs directing the way out.

There is no escaping from the dreams that sneak their way into your body.

They search in the dark, not alerting you to their presence until they find it, that one spot, that one place that hurts the most, in the darkest corner, in the farthest place.

Dreams are invasions that know how to hurt you the most.

They sting, and they burn, and they sear at your skin, they create their own passages, burning you in the process. They go through flesh and bones, and all the things your body has to work to repair. They destroy your insides, looking, searching, lurking, for that one thing.

The one thing that hurts the most. The one thing that you try to keep locked away. Keep away from the prying eyes of other people, and monsters that lurk in the dark. Monsters that like the tear dreams away from people. It's the one thing that can be taken by anything, people, places, things.

It's the thing that will always, inevitably, hurt the most.

The very one thing that you don't think about.

You don't think about it.

You aren't supposed to think about it. Because it hurts. Because thinking about it can only hurt you in the long run. Because you can't trust yourself to believe something that isn't there, might never be there.

Dreams are monsters that people pretend save them.

***

Her dream wasn't any different.

It wasn't hopeful, was a dream she ever planned to follow through with, her dream was just a secret she wouldn't keep, deep down, for as long as she could.

You see, her dream wasn't something obtainable. Wasn't something she’d ever hoped to dream.

She loathed this dream of hers.

Because it wasn't realistic, because she wasn't a child anymore, she wasn't bright eyes or naive, or full of hope for the world. She was older, and she understood that dreams are just made up things. She understood that you didn't get everything you hoped for.

And this dream, this dream, in particular, was especially made up.

This dream wasn't about becoming a princess like she had dreamed of as a kid. This dream wasn't winning the lottery, or opening up her own business, or having kids, or traveling the world.

No, those things were all obtainable, were all possible to some extent. If anyone tried enough, they could make any one of those dreams come true.

Her dream. Her only dream. Was impossible. Utterly impossible. Something that would never come true.

And for that reason, she hated her mind for coming up with it.

She hated her subconscious for allowing this dream to dance around her head while she was powerless, while she could do nothing to stop it, nothing to avoid it. She hated that she could ever come up with something, something so far away from her, something she could barely reach.

Something lovely, something perfect.

No.

This dream, this far away dream of hers, it started in her house.

Not the apartment she lived in, but the house she used to live in, the house she’d lived in for most of her life.

It started, with her on the couch.

And she was staring at the wall.

There was this feeling in her heart, in her chest. This unmistakeable, indescribable feeling.

She’d never felt it before, never quite felt the same panging in her chest, the banging of her heart. Not in all the years she’d lived, through all the emotions she’d felt. No, she’d never felt something like this.

There was no word she could put on it.

She wondered for a brief moment if there was something wrong. If there was something wrong with her heart, with her lungs, if that was why she was feeling this strange new emotion in her body.

But, then her eyes moved around the room.

They moved and they saw him.

And, even though she’d never felt like this before, her mind understood.

Spencer was sitting in a chair across from her, his legs crossed, almost uncomfortably in the tiny chair, and he looked at her.

And she was used to that. He looked at her all the time.

But this was different.

There was a small smile on his face. Not like a grin, not like a smirk, this smile was completely different, so so different.

And this look, this look he was giving her, it was new, it was brand new, straight out of the box and shiny. It was a look she hadn't seen before.

But it filled her stomach with butterflies, her heart with hope, and that feeling was stuck in her chest.

She could feel herself get flustered under his gaze.

Her body was moving away, her eyes leaving Spencer and heading toward the kitchen, as she looked around she didn't wonder why she was there, her mind already seemed to know.

She was moving around the kitchen, trying to ignore the burning gaze of Spencer, trying to remember what she was doing in the kitchen, why she went there in the first place.

She hated that he could still see her from the living room. She turned her back towards him, staring at the cabinets above her head. Trying to get her mind together, her thoughts in a straight line.

She tried to control the pounding of her heart that wouldn't stop, wouldn't stop as long as she could feel the burn on her back.

And when she turned back around, he was still staring at her. With the same look in his eyes, the same smile on his face.

Her body almost crumbled under his gaze.

“Why are you staring at me?” she asked, her laughing surprising herself.

Spencer only smiled wider, amused, well aware of her reaction to him.

The two of them were alone in this house,

“I’m not staring,” he said, laughing with her.

She rolled her eyes. Placing a hand on her hip, her heart beating loudly in her ears.

“Then what are you doing?” she questioned, her eyes were scowling at him, but her smile proved otherwise.

Spencer idly looked up, fiddling with his hands in his lap, teasing her with no answer.

“Spencer,” she warned with her voice, the threat clear in the air.

“I’m watching you. You’re hard not to look at.”

Her heart skipped a beat.

A moment passed, two.

“So you are staring at me?”

Spencer laughed.

She laughed with him.

He motioned for her to come closer, speaking all the words she needed to hear with just his expression.

And then she was sitting in the chair with him, sitting on his lap, and they were alone.

And they kissed.

His lips were soft, and inviting, and completely mesmerizing.

It felt like a first kiss. All over again,

And there was this thing. This thing between them. A feeling in the air. It was just a feeling. But they were looking at each other, and the adoration could be seen from a mile away, miles away and anyone could tell just how much love was in their eyes.

Love.

Love was the feeling.

…

She hated it.

She hated that dream.

She hated it with a blinding, scorching, fire.

She hated that it existed.

She hated that it was the first clue. She hated that it was her realization, that waking up from that dream had changed her. Forever.

She hated that the dream had found her opening, in the deepest darkest place of her body. She hated it.

She hated that she’d so thoroughly enjoyed it while it was going on. She hated that there was a part of her that wished it wasn't a dream. She hated that she loved it. She shouldn't, she couldn't, love it.

She hated it.

So much.

She hated it.

***

Dreams were nothing but ideas, fantasies.

Dreams were only there to hurt you.

***

She couldn't stop staring at him.

Couldn't stop thinking of that dream.

Couldn't stop searching his eyes for that same look.

She knew she knew, that it would never work out. That he didn't like her like that, that her dreams had fooled her, that she was just making things up.

She knew that. She did.

But she couldn't stop thinking about that moment.

That moment she had woken herself up to. That moment when they were both staring at each other, lovestruck.

She couldn't stop thinking about the look in his eyes, the smile on his face.

His lips on hers.

She couldn't stop thinking about that feeling.

That feeling that she had never felt before. That feeling that seemed to be stuck in her chest, glued to her ribs, to her heart, to all the veins that ran through her body. That feeling was everywhere, far too intense, far too much.

Stuck.

And maybe she was making it up, maybe he didn't actually make her feel that maybe it was some false reality her mind had created to give her a moment of peace while she slept. Maybe maybe maybe.

But, even if it wasn't true, she couldn't get rid of the urge to find out. To know, to discover how she really felt. That annoying urge to know.

And that dream kept appearing behind her eyes.

Even a month later.

It hadn't faded even an inch.

And she was standing in front of him, watching him laugh with all of their friends.

He was laughing, talking to Hotch about a case they’d been on when he’d first joined the BAU. And she was laughing with them, partly listening. But she was thinking. She was too preoccupied to pay all of her attention to the conversation. She was looking around, noticing things.

And she’d noticed. She’d noticed the way he was looking at everyone else.

She’d noticed how he looked at JJ the exact same way he looked at her, how he looked at Emily, and Garcia, all the same. He looked at them like he loved them like he cared.

But it wasn't that look. It wasn't the same look.

She couldn't stop staring at him. Couldn't stop thinking, wondering. She hoped no one had noticed. Hoped that it wasn't obvious.

She wondered how long she had felt this way. How long she had been hidden under the fog, the fog that kept her away from these feelings, this staring. How long she had been trapped without the realization of her dream?

Her stupid stupid dream.

She watched him laugh.

“Hey Pretty Girl!” she heard from across the bar. The lights on the ceiling blinded her as she looked over to Derek, her hand in front of her face, trying to notice him in the crowd. “Another drink?” he shouted when her eyes had finally found him.

And she looked down to her glass, almost empty.

She thought about how she felt. How she would feel later.

She thought about how Spencer wasn't looking at her, the feel of his lips, the way he had grabbed her thighs in her dream, the lovestruck look in his eyes, she thought and she thought and

She nodded.

Her head was already spinning a little, getting heavier to hold up. But, she thought, another drink won't hurt. Just one more.

Just to get this feeling out of her chest, to get this image out of her head. To get this hurt away from her body.

Because it hurt too. While she was curious, and mad, and hoping. It still hurt.

It hurt because she didn't like dreaming. She didn't like expecting, she didn't like that feeling, that crushing feeling that always made her way eventually, that feeling when everything fell out of her body, when all her excitement, her nerves, vanished, and she was just alone with disappointment.

The disappointment was almost worse than anything else. Because disappointment didn't leave, no matter how much you begged it to.

And for that reason. It hurt. It hurt to dream, to hope, to know that nothing was coming, that nothing was there.

“Y/N?” she heard, and her heart jumped, and the glass in her hand almost fell.

She turned to look at Spencer, her body moving slower than it was five minutes ago.

“Yes?” she asked, her voice almost too soft for the music playing in the background.

But who could blame her? She was distracted by his eyes on her, his lips, his smile, the mess of his hair.

“What's the craziest case you’ve been on? Everyone else has shared theirs…” he said it soft, almost as if he was talking to a child. She enjoyed it, enjoyed that moment when he was looking at just her.

And then that moment was over.

And the funny feeling in her stomach was gone.

And Derek handed her a drink.

And she was talking.

And even hours later, when they were all blinded by the lights, and dizzy, her dream was still there, sinking in her chest.

And she couldn't stop staring at him.

It was ridiculous.

It had been like this for a month. A complete month of staring at him, waiting for something, anything to happen.

She hated it. She hated this hope, she hated this dream, she hated everything about this situation.

Spencer was her friend. Spencer was just her friend. He had always been her friend, always been extra support when she needed it, had always been nothing more than a person she loved. He was like all of her other friends, there was no difference, there was nothing different about him.

So why did she feel this burning, this terrifying passion whenever she looked at him? Why did she feel like she was never going to breathe again if he was in the room? Why did she feel like nothing would be complete unless she got to feel his lips against hers, just once, just once for real?

Why did she feel this way for someone who had always been her friend?

It was ridiculous. It was completely stupid, and it didn't make any sense, and she wished she could go back to a month ago and will herself to never dream, to never have this dream, filling her heart with empty promises, and expectations.

And she was staring at him.

She really needed to stop staring at him.

She needed to stop thinking, to stop hoping.

She needed this dream to stop.

And they needed to leave.

It was already three in the morning, already later than she ever went to bed, already pitch black outside. All of them knew that if they left the bar it would be completely quiet, their city dead with all its people asleep.

All of them knew it was time to leave.

They walked out the doors together, the cold air outside filling all of them with relief after being inside, after walking around all the body heat all night.

It was wonderful outside.

The stars were up, lit, it seemed just for them. The sky was quiet, not a thing going on. It was peaceful, wonderful, it almost felt like a completely different dream.

One that wasn't hopeless.

“Beautiful.” She breathed under her breath, the words filling their air with something content, and all her friends turned to look at her.

“It isn't it?” Spencer whispered from beside her. And for a moment, it felt like he was just talking to her like this was meant to be a moment for just them. Like this was just for them. Like it was a dream.

But then Spencer looked away from the sky, to their friends, their friends who were waving goodbye.

And the moment was almost broken. Almost. Almost. But.

Then he turned to look at her again. Turned back to her now that all of their friends were gone.

And she thought of him, she thought of nothing but him, nothing but his voice, the kind way he always seemed to talk to her. She thought of nothing but his lips, but his eyes, but his mouth, but the way his hands would feel on her. She thought and she thought, and she could think of nothing, her brain was so full, so filled to the brim of just him that it was almost impossible to think-

But.

His lips.

His soft-looking, right there, lips.

She wanted to kiss him. She wanted to stop closer, to take that step, to be close to him under the beautiful sky, to feel his lips against hers in a moment that wasn't a dream, she wanted to move, she wanted to move miles with him, move miles away so it would be just them. And she just wanted, she just wanted, she just wanted to kiss him. She wanted nothing more, but to kiss him, to live her dream.

Her dream that was almost as close as he was, her dream which was only a reach away. Only one movement, one movement, one tiny little step away, her dream her dream her dream.

His lips. His lips were everything, this moment, this moment was everything. He was everything. Dream dream dream dream. She wanted to kiss him, to step closer, to just-

No.

No, she muttered to herself.

Her brain might be fogged with alcohol, and dreams, and desires.

But, she won't, she doesn't.

She won't kiss him.

She’ll just walk away. Walk far away. So far.

***

Because, the thing about dreams, is that they’re not real.

They’re just not real.

Dreams can come true. They can shape themselves into reality.

But, dreams are just ideas you keep stored in your pocket, hopes that you hope won't fall out. A different world that you must carry in your own arms.

And sometimes, the weight simply gets too heavy.

Sometimes you can't carry the weight of the world by yourself.

Sometimes, dreams fall out of your pockets, hope goes with them, and sometimes you drop the world, the world that you were supposed to be carrying.

It's just too heavy.

Dreams are monsters that lurk in the dark of your body, searching, lurking, for the places, the spots that will hurt the most.

Because, pain, deep-burning pain, is all dreams are.

They used to be good.

They used to be full of innocence, and hope, and desire, and nothing but lovely thoughts.

But they lurk too long.

And never come true.

***

She would sleep again that night.

She would know that it would come back, that her dream would be back to haunt her another night.

She would fall asleep in hopes that she could dream again.

Just once more.

***

my masterlist here

#spencer reid smut #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds rp #criminal minds headcanons #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fan #spencer reid fanfic #mgg #mgg x reader #mgg blurb #mgg fanfiction

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thebibliomancer · 3 years

Text

Tides of the Dark Crystal liveblog pt 24

Tides of the Dark Crystal by J.M. Lee because THE MARINER IS BACK and that’s a bad thing. For the protagonists. I’m pretty excited about it personally.

Last times on book: Amri and co are on a quest to unify the Gelfling clans against the Skeksis. They’ve succeeded with the Sifa and Dousan, causing impressive pyrotechnics that burned a record of the plot into nearby surfaces. While they were working at that, All-Maudra Mayrin was killed by the Skeksis and they’ve installed her daughter Seladon as the new All-Maudra. After meeting the urRu Swimmer in a dream, maybe, Amri came up with a plan to use the Waystar Trees on the nearby mountains to reach out to the Vapra. The group finds the Swimmer’s secret mountain house and stops in to warm up but they’re surprised by skekSa the Mariner.

Chapter 24

Tavra makes an appeal to the Vapra; skekSa isn’t mad, she’s just disappointed. Also, she’s livid.

So last chapter ended with skekSa demanding to know where the Swimmer is.

“We don’t know what you’re talking about,” Naia said.

skekSa swept closer, filling the room. She tilted her head at Amri, counting the number of Gelfling before her, then leaned over the worktable and smoothed her claws along the paper and ink, touched the tomes and scrolls. Her gaze lingered on the maps they’d been looking at, then came back to the Gelfling before her.

“Maybe I believe you.”

“Why are you in Ha’rar?” Amri asked. “Weren’t you supposed to stay with the Sifa in Cera-Na?”

“Why would I? They abandoned me. Without their navigators and charts, I cannot escape this infernal mainland. Then Emperor skekSo called me to Ha’rar when things got, how shall we put it? Complicated. With All-Maudra Mayrin. And I remembered that there is someone with the charts I need, who keeps them in her tower near the Vapra Waystar grove.”

Oof.

You have to feel for skekSa a little.

Okay, so she wasn’t helping the Sifa escape out of the goodness of her heart, she desperately wanted to escape too.

She’s absolutely paranoid that the Emperor would send assassins after her for her defiance in, I guess, trying not to live in his hierarchy.

And even if you take into account the show where the death of a Skeksis is unthinkable to the Emperor, remember too that there’s a lot that the Skeksis will do to each other that won’t result in death.

I don’t blame her for wanting to escape.

But perceiving it as the Sifa abandoning her to not abandon the other Gelfling is not a healthy way of coming at it.

Anyway, this reminds Amri of the Swimmer saying “what is a compass without a ship” and he realizes that the inverse “what is a ship without a compass” is true too. But says it aloud for some reason.

And this makes skekSa very angry, although she calms down to go back to being classy hiding menace.

She mentions that skekZok told her about an encounter the Chamberlain had with a group of Gelfling where “one in particular -- a Vapra, to his memory, but I think he may be mistaken -- threw Sifa fire dust in his eye.”

“You wouldn’t know who that might have been, my little apothecary?”

Amri tried not to shrink back. “He was asking for it.”

“Oh, you can burn out both his weepy eyes for all I care.”

HAH!

No surprise that the Mariner who hates Skeksis politics would hate the Chamberlain. He practically is Skeksis politics.

But the major takeaway of the story was the Chamberlain’s description of the Drenchen in the group. A Drenchen who matched the description of the Drenchen who escaped the Castle of the Crystal.

Naia.

“Ritual Master skekZok is very keen in this aspect, you see. And since we are friends, he and I, then you can imagine I am keen as well.”

Ruh roh.

“Of course, I didn’t fully understand his interest in you when we met in Cera-Na,” skekSa continued. “But now that I do, and now that he’s offered a reward for your capture, how fortunate it is that you are here before me, trapped in this tiny room.”

RUH ROH.

Interesting that the Mariner did know who Naia was all along. She just didn’t care at the time when Operation Go Somewhere Else was on the table.

Naia promises she’ll die before she lets herself be drained but skekSa says that skekZok doesn’t want to drain her. The Skeksis need her and Gurjin to study their twin bond to answer some questions that many of them have been wondering.

Kylan stood up, standing firm beside Naia. “Aughra said you’re wrong. She said it’s not going to help you understand how to drain your other halves.”

skekSa scoffed.

“Is that what they think? Unfortunate.”

Hah.

The Skeksis are way off base but skekSa would get her reward for bringing Naia in either way. I like that she’s scornful at how they’re barking up the wrong tree.

Its what I expect from an accomplished pirate captain detective scientist like her.

But since a reward is a reward and because she doesn’t want to fool arond, she offers a deal. She gets to take Naia. In exchange, the rest of the group gets to go if they promise to leave the mountain immediately and not get in skekSa’s way again.

(Imagine from her point of view where you keep running into protagonists)

Naia pointed her dagger at skekSa. Before Amri could stop her, she said, “I’ll take that deal, but I won’t go without a fight.”

“Naia, no --”

Kylan’s protest was cut off by skekSa’s grin. She knocked aside her coat, baring the glinting gold handle of a long blade slung at her waist, putting a hand on the grip and sliding it loose with a deadly, metallic scrape.

“I accept your challenge,” she said.

Fairly accommodating of skekSa, really.

It lets her friends get away and it means she can try to run away because thats part of the struggle.

I mean, its not quite fair. Skeksis way outweigh Gelflings and hit like a truck. And skekSa is in the prime of her whatever age she is, not like those creaky castle dwelling Skeksis. Fresh salt air has done a body good.

Tae decides to stay and fight with Naia while the rest go and do the Plan they’d Planned on. And Tae is their best fighter.

Amri recognizes that this is the best chance they’ll get, hates it, but grabs an angry Kylan and runs anyway.

They (Amri, Kylan, and spider Tavra) trudge through the snow and up an almost vertical slope and reach the circular grove of glowing blue and white Waystar trees.

And at a good time. Far below in Ha’rar, the Vapra gather and the Skeksis will come to the gathering soon.

Hm. I wonder if whats taking the Skeksis so long is skekSa up and disappearing on a mountain hike. She was called to Ha’rar to help and she went off on a personal errand.

I can imagine skekZok looking for her around the Citadel, cursing as he finds her boots behind a curtain making it look like she was hiding behind that curtain. Or something like that.

Amri searches the Waystar trees, to find the ideal one whose roots burrow into the mountain and intertwine with the veins of water and ice that spread to the city below.

He finds the sturdiest tree and his rock sense or whatever lets him feel the whole mountain and every street of Ha’rar by touching its bark.

“It has grown here since long before the Vapra arrived,” he said. “Before Ha’rar. This tree knows the entire mountain, the entire valley. Runs under the citadel and through every street of Ha’rar. If it agrees to carry Tavra’s message, every Gelfling in the snowy land will see her dream. Hear her voice, and know they are not alone...”

AH HA! So that’s the plan! Amri’s rock sense, Kylan’s music magic, and Tavra’s Tavra to reach every Vapran in Ha’rar through something like dreamfasting that the Skeksis can’t overhear. Good the Plan, Amri!

Kylan starts playing a similar tune to the one he played before the Sanctuary Tree, causing the Waystar trees to glow even brighter.

Amri sees a dreamfast of the three of them standing in the grove but Tavra is with them in her Gelfling body, dressed as a Vapra princess.

“Hear me, Gelfling of Ha’rar. I can only hope you hear me and recognize my voice. I do not have much time, so I can only tell you part of all I have to say. And it is that the Skeksis have lied to all of us. The dream on the pink petals is true. The Skeksis have begun draining us, deep in the Castle of the Crystal. My mother the All-Maudra knew this and planned to rise against them. And in punishment, the Ritual Master and the General murdered her.”

Amri felt a tremble in the dream, as if the earth itself was shivering. The whispers that shuddered through the tree’s veins and the ice and rock were from the Vapra. From anyone who was listening, who heard Tavra’s voice.

“I do not know what the future holds for the Gelfling, but I know this: No matter what the Skeksis say to you, no matter how dark the night may seem -- there are friends in that darkness, waiting for you. Readying the torches we will bring against the Skeksis, when it is time for their reckoning. We will survive. We will endure. Wait for our signal. Let it guide you and we will be victorious, so long as we are together.”

It felt like the beginning of an electric storm crawling across the earth and skin. Amri felt the warming of kindling and a thin string of smoke. He felt footsteps, the earth shaking. Distant voices as Tavra finished:

“I know this and I wait for you, though it may be in the darkness. For in the shadows, we will light the fires of resistance.”

Heck of a speech, Tavra.

I notice that characteristically she doesn’t raise her voice or pepper around exclamation points. Just gives a simple, measured message of hope.

Anyway, its good that she finished up because the fight they left at the Swimmer’s mountain home spills over into the Waystar grove, destroying one of the trees.

Nobody is happy here. The two Gelfling and one Mariner are all wounded from the fight. Amri is not pleased that skekSa followed Tae and Naia to where the Plan was happening. And skekSa’s not happy that they’re all still on the mountain doing things.

The Mariner asks if this is how the Gelfling repay her benevolence in letting them go but Tae shoots back that the Sifa have trusted skekSa for trine and asks whether it was all a lie.

skekSa composed herself, just a fraction, standing straighter and sniffing.

“Little Tae,” she said, though a snarl sharpened the edge of her beak. She grabbed another of the Waystar trees and cracked its limbs in her claws, careless with her impossible strength. Its glow died like an ember pulled from the fire. “I would have taken Ethri and the Sifa across the Silver Sea. Far away from the Emperor and the castle and all of these stupid politics. But Ethri decided not to go. It was you who defied me. Declared your true allegiance. I am not an ally of the Sifa. I am your master.”

Oof.

The underlying thing in all benevolent paternalism is the paternalism. And that can turn ugly when its defied or not given the respect the whoever feels entitled to.

The thing with a parent/child relationship is knowing when to let them go and be adults of their own and that just won’t happen without bad feelings when a “superior” long-lived species rules over a “less advanced” shorter-lived one.

And even if skekSa disdained Skeksis politics and felt drawn to the Sifa for their shared love of that sailing life, at the end of the day, the Skeksis are gonna be around forever while Gelflings lead lives comparable to mayflies. Its hard to stand up against the only people who will share eternity with you.

Its why I think skekGra is the only Good Skeksis that can last. He’s removed himself from a position over anybody else. Just he and himself for company.

Anyway, back to the skekSa.

“Now, as your lord, I will tell you the same thing the General and the Ritual Master are telling the Vapra below. At this very minute. The rebellion is dead and a lie, burnt to cold ash along with the All-Maudra. The Vapra, and the rest of the Gelfling, have only one fate: To bow to the Skeksis, and to gaze upon us with immortal fear. To cower in utter submission.”

Her voice fell low and sinister as her breath clouded around them like a fog.

“There will be no more fires,” she said. “And there will be no resistance.”

Amri replies, basically, with ‘nuh uh’ and points towards Ha’rar.

The torches dotting the city flash through a rainbow of flames, burning bright enough to light the city like daytime. And the flames dream-etch onto every wall of the Vapra citadel, just like at Cera-Na and the Wellspring when the literal flames of resistance were lit.

[Amri] stared in wonder at the etchings as they rippled across the broad surface of the citadel, unraveling for all to see. The depictions of the Omerya, the Sifa, Maudra Ethri. The shade-filled leaves of the Wellspring Tree, protecting the Dousan from the darkening storm.

And now the next verse of the song, which they had told that very night atop the frozen bluffs: Shining like a star, radiant with light, was the image of a Vapra soldier-princess, the crest of six trees emblazoned on her living crown.

WOW!

The recap flames just nominated Tavra to be All-Maudra. Geez, sucks to be Seladon.

It makes a narrative sense in this version, I’m afraid.

Since we’ve stuck with Naia’s party, Seladon is barely a character. We haven’t seen her insecurities first hand and her struggling with her mother’s expectations and her own desires and all that. We don’t directly see her lean into Skeksis loyalty.

Tavra HAS been very present and active in the narrative of the three books. (And people have been VERY vocal about her being a better candidate for All-Maudra. Like very vocal. Seladon would have cried if she had been around for those conversations).

So just taking into consideration the YA novels continuity, we don’t know Seladon. We know Tavra and want good things for her especially since so many bad things have happened.

And another thing... what will happen after all the clans unite has been left vague but if the Skeksis don’t relinquish power gracefully, it could be war (as it was in the show). Maybe a soldier-princess All-Maudra is more fitting for the times the Gelfling are heading into instead of the trained stateswoman raised to be essentially the middle manager between Gelfling and Skeksis.

Sorry Seladon.

#dark crystal #the dark crystal #Tides of the Dark Crystal #liveblog #Amri #Tavra #she's still a spider tho #Kylan #Naia #Tae #skekSa #the Mariner #another light show

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angst-art-writing · 3 years

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Locks and Keys- Sinners and Saints(6)

It was silent, other than calm breathing. Artemis lied on her back on the floor, letting the coolness of it ice the bruises and aches she felt. She gazed up at the ceiling. Even if it was silent in that room, she could still hear the buzzing of her own thoughts in her head, echoing louder and louder the more she tried to silence them, to think of something else. She didn't even notice Santiago coming in before he called her name.

"Art?"

Her head turned towards him, and she pushed herself up into a sitting position. "Hey," she greeted. She offered him a small half-assed smile which only turned to a grimace as she moved up.

He smiled and shut the door quietly, heading over and plopping down right next to her. Santi was the only Reaper who was close to her age, and wasn't a total dick. She'd known him for a while now, he was one of the only...friends she had. They were close, but distant. Siblings.

"Well you look just lovely, huh? I think the white brings out your eyebags. And your hair- What's going on with that?" He teased, nudging her gently with his elbow.

"Oh, shut up." She rolled her eyes at him, and he smiled wider. She came with an insult of her own. "I know you aren't talking shit when your teeth are as crooked as my sexuality."

"I love our chats." It was quiet for a second before Santi spoke again. "I heard what happened. With the Neoma girl."

"Hm? Oh...Yeah. Her." It was hard to get her out of her head. She was mumbled in with all the other thoughts, one of the only not-as-shitty ones.

"Why didn't you just tell them?" He looked over, with a raised brow.

She shrugged, mainly because she still didn't really have an answer.Or, none that she could say to him. She didn't want to endanger him with her own thoughts of defiance. Countless times she'd dream of running away with him, making their own life, but it was unrealistic. It was stupid. Home was here, and it would always be home. Santi had seemed to accept that, and part of her was jealous of that fact.

"I knew you were stubborn but not like that." When she didn't answer again, oddly (as she was usually up to talk), he kept talking and asked, "What do you think? About living here now?"

"I absolutely hate it. Even home with dad was better than this." She frowned and leaned back some, tilting her head back against the wall. "At least then I could take walks on my own, you know? Instead I'm stuck here. All the time with everyone else telling me what to do.”

Santiago gently reached for her hand. He didn't try and hug her, which was appreciated. Hugs just felt like traps now, even if she couldn't help but lean into them, fear always wrapped around her as arms did. A warm embrace only for cool fingers to dig into old wounds, hug you so you can't get away. Hugs didn't feel safe; She wished they did.

Artemis took his hand and sighed before she continued, "I mean, I guess the only good part is I don't have to worry about groceries anymore, right?" She tried to joke, and smiled softly. But he didn't really know what that meant.

Santi shrugged a little.

She would often sell herself and let people do whatever they wanted, and people would give money to her. She knew how to steal, of course. But if she was caught once it would mean very bad things. It was easier to trade. Still, not having to do that anymore wasn't good. Vincent let people do whatever they wanted anyways- But Santi didn't need to know that. He didn't know most things, and Artemis didn't want to tell him. He wasn't the right person to talk to, and besides, he had his own worries.

"I'm sorry," he said after a second. "Is your dad staying here too?"

"I don't know. Maybe.."

"Maybe Vincent will let you stay at my place with me?"

"That's nice, Santi, but it would never fly with them. They want me here." He squeezed her hand tighter, and she went on. "I have a tournament today."

"Groups?"

"I hope not. I'm exhausted."

Santiago had never seen her fight before, and she was thankful for that. He knew how much she hated those things, and Artemis would hate for him to see her as entertainment. It was one of their promises. She could remember it clearly. They were sitting under Vincent's desk, hiding. He was hiding from his boss, Spencer- of the Workers Unit. They developed weapons and suits for the Reapers, using information from the other Unit, the Researchers. Researchers conducted experiments on Mythics, the like.

They had sat under that desk, across from each-other. One of the first promises. It was forbidden for Santiago to see her fight. After they had made that promise, they had been dragged off, away from each other.

Before that one, however, there was the very first promise. That they would stay together, no matter what. It was so easy to say that, to lock fingers together and promise on it. She looked towards him, and she saw him on that day. He was so small, his eyes bright. Even now his eyes were still bright. She wondered if she looked the same from then too.

He turned and looked over, and Artemis was whipped out of the memories. It was one she cherished. He sighed and smiled a little. "I kinda wish I was like you. People seem to like you here, y'know."

"What?" She turned to look at him, startled.

"Y'know, they're always training with you, they want to push you to do better. You get all kinds of attention. They like you, y’know?”

They like to use me. But she just shrugged and looked away, before he spoke again. He looked unbothered, but he kept talking.

"They enjoy you." Exactly. She hated that. "You fight well, they want to make you better.. You get attention from the boss himself, they give you weapons. They love you, Art. Just.. sometimes you don't listen. I kinda wish I got that attention."

She said nothing and just looked down. He was right. It was true. She did get a lot of attention.. Maybe they were just trying to make her better, in some way.. She didn't have time to dwell too much on it before he said something.

"Here- I have some oranges I stole from the kitchen." He fished into the pocket of his pants and took a few out, passing them to her. She took one and let go of his hand to start peeling it.

"Thank you.. Hopefully these ones aren't moldy."

"I only did that once. When are you going to let it go? You already got back at me, you threw up all over me, remember?"

"That was just karma."

Santi nudged her again, leaning against her and smiling. He pushed his head against the side of her face, making her lean to the right slightly. She turned and flicked his forehead, sniggering.

The two just sat with each-other, and Artemis allowed him to braid her hair. As he did so he told her about what he was working on. Santiago was part of the Workers, and he told her about the new suits they were working on, and how soon the Researchers might be able to extract powers from the Mythics. He sounded excited- Excited about the new things he could invent. He was.. Proud.

"Santiago!" A voice called distantly from outside.

"Ah, shit. Thats me-"

"No, really?" Artemis glanced back at him and he stood, letting go of her hair. "Go on, you'll get both our asses kicked if you're caught here. Mostly mine, since you’re the goody-goody.”

"That's not true. They like you better." He raised an eyebrow, and then stood. He didn't know all they did to her. And what he did know, it was excused. It was her fault, a punishment for her actions. Truly, it was.

Artemis scoffed and pushed at his leg slightly. "Go, then. I'll see you later, mkay?"

He moved forward and grinned at her, pausing to flick her in the head. "Adios." He waved and then slipped out the door, and Artemis was left alone again. She slumped back against the wall, gingerly touching the braid he had made. She waited, this time dreading when the door would open again.

---

#whump #oc whump #writing #new character :))))#thoughts on santi?#sinners and saints #writing series #whump series #oc works

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startwithbrooklyn · 3 years

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THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / OCTOBER 3, 2019 // the trial

(TW SUICIDE)

it's the reveal!!!! love that for her hope shes thriving (shes not) again w the two minutes of the next episode to sync the dates

-lmaoooo so i honestly wonder why they went for the full pulling-it-out-the-throat thing but idk (an interesting foil to her getting sick for more stereotypical reasons ie s2 "people find out theyre grandparents every day"

-I LOVE THIS GEORGE HAIR

-"i'd do anything for nancy" okay but....why 👀bit of an odd reaction imo

-bess with spilling the truth again 😂and gets shot down. tragic #shetried

-wait sooooo nobody tested the fingerprints on the knife when this shit happened?? or that tech didnt exist in 2000? i mean without a body how could they even call it murder? and who told the police?? like if the drews took the baby, the dress, and said nothing, who tells the cops shes missing or even dead? how did they know to search the bluffs? who told the media/public? it had to have happened that same night because ryan said when he got there later there were already rumors she was killed. after the baby and bloody dress, only her crown, a knife, and tire tracks were left. how did anyone find anything at this remote bluff without some kind of tip off? and why on earth would they think murder and not suicide with so little evidence?? thats gotta be like suicide central, sorry for the trigger

-"a little help, lucy?!" lucy seems unable to disobey a direct request from nancy (ie "lucy, stop" from later in the ep) when nancy speaks directly to her. so maybe if nancy had spoken aloud/engaged more lucy could have appeared more? nancy said she only comes around when she wants to but what if nancy herself could do a bit more, being the last thing lucy touched and all

-so in ep 2 when nancys in jail carson says "great grandma rosalind buried her valuables in the trunk" including the knives shown here. did carson and kates families even know about nancy? how did they explain not announcing a pregnancy or birth?

-"oh." john lmfaoooo

-BESS lmaoooo and ace's looks in the background and then at seeing nick approaching lmfaooo oh no / also why on earth is she apologizing?? he dumped her but she has to be sorry he found out she fucked someone else? someone nicer pls explain to me bc i dont get it. she dont owe him shit

-george is SO CUTE lmfaoooo and so forward and he was so shook but then he was like "oh hell yeah"

-"is he a vampire?!" ik nobody i knew got that reference 😂

-this entire search of the claw is a sham. what are they even looking for. clearly a set up by tamura but why/what does he suspect them of. esp w karen as accomplice, story should be airtight so why are they still investigating?

-john + ace dream team 💙

-god ace is such a yes-man. why is he so fucking loyal?? people like him are insane. how are they real. i suspect they arent. and no matter what you do you are never worthy of their unending loyalty anyway.

-so in the Good Place nancy was the one who had the key but in reality its ryan

-wonder if lucy's listening to ryan here talking about his love and grief for her

-"you were throwing away your future on a nothing girl" - nancy & ryan - their fathers dont want them to see "troubled" kids, want them to focus on school instead --> which they both struggle with and eventually do not achieve (maybe bc they want their kids to leave horseshoe bay?) for nancy its an interesting vice for someone whos really a goody two shoes/for ryan its subverted bc karen actually did worse than him ie committed real crimes

-"stay away from my family" surprise bitch bet you thought youd seen the last of me 😉

-interestingly, ryan probably would have agreed with karen about switching the ballot boxes but he wouldnt have really understood the social consequences. both josh and karen are determined to see ryan as the bad guy when actually he didnt do anything, they did. 🤔

-karen is such a ride or die friend. again w the loyalty. if someone swapped ballot boxes for me i'd be touched. im sure going into active labor made lucy a bit upset but damn. what a friend.

-wonder when nancy starts calling her "Lucy" instead of "dead lucy"

-lucy primarily haunting her own house/love seeing this house overtaken by nature

-the concept of writing things down : starting from the first ep, nancy's journal (then and now), writing out simon cards, similar cemetary cards in the Good Place, "beautiful minding it," culminating in lucy's journal / writing it down to help figure it out/when theres too much going on to keep it inside

-"i'll make a salad" NICK LMAOOO

-wonder what happened to carson's old lawyer?

-"my testimony begins in the summer of 1999" because your story always starts with your mother's story

-lmfaoooooo this shit taking the stand is soooo never allowed but oh well

-"she stole a knife" and carson's face lmfaooooo he knows its not true but what could he fucking say?? no?

-"i love you mom, i hope you never find this." ironic bc nancy didnt want her dad to find her journal either

-lucy never wanted anyone to find out how she died d/t shame- but she didnt want carson to go to jail for it so she finally allowed it (or just couldnt refuse nancy asking)

-"i'm sorry for what you lost"/"i'm never gonna be free from them"

-awww ace/mcginnis goodbye / i wonder if ace is nervous thinking about tamura --> ace's dad since chief mcginnis covered for ace out of respect for his dads sacrifice but tamura would throw both ace and his dad under the bus just to get at nancy (get at her via ace? since he was already used as the blackmail plot device? they kinda touched in this in s2 but not fully)

-okay sooo why are they still doing this forensic analysis thing? like the whole things over so whats the point. i wonder if john had packed up and gone home what coulda happened

-nancy/carson - interrupted moments:

•family dinner interrupted by nancy's accsations

•being home after finding ted interrupted by carson's arrest

•celebration of dropped charges interrupted by nancy discovering the truth about her parentage

-"i cooked your favorite to celebrate" ironic bc shes upset that hes not her "real" dad but he IS because he knows her best. like theyre literally proving it right in front of her. vs ryan whom she doesnt really want anyway AND rejects requests to get to know her. like come on sis. his 20 years of parenting you arent going away, ever. deal w it.

-carson's little smile before he said "'mom never hurt lucy" like he knows this is the end / scott's acting here just kills me

~~~~~~~~~

-why did the drews come back at all? and why did kate really keep the dress? carson says she did it as a link to lucy, but did kate want to keep it to be connected to lucy? or did she bury it to keep lucy repressed? is this a positive or a negative? +keeping in attic - did lucy start to haunt kate, so she unburied the dress?

and lastly:

-why doesnt lucy haunt everett and celia hudson? she kind of does ie painting but only when nancy visits bc shes actually haunting nancy. isnt everything the hudsons' fault?

#brooklyn's ND primer #nancy drew cw #tw suicide #the Great Rewatch of 2021 #you best start believing in ghost stories miss drew - you're in one

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cosmosrival · 4 years

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Rico besides Kama what do you think about the other indian servants?????

AHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS GOING TO GET SOOOO LONG!!!! i have a different view of the indo fam as a whole. i call them the indo fam but i mean the found family trope!!!! theyre like a group of college students sharing a dorm if that makes sense, since their servant selves are obviously different from their initial myths/human vessels!!!

OK SO. RECENTLY, i have an oomf that found books about arjuna that summarize his exploits in the mahabharata(I DONT HAVE THE STRENGTH TO READ IT ALL IM SO SORRY) and also talk about him in a more philosphical manner such as his states of mind during each event etc and i’ve been meaning to read said book because im genuinely interested in arjuna now!!! and i’d like to know more about this indo prince because from what i’ve seen, he is portrayed in a rather bad light(?) in FGO which i find extremely !!!!!!!!!!! and incrdibley !!!!!!! strange !!!!!!! the mahabharata’s conflicts can be put in a mostly grey area where there’s no good nor bad, its not black and white. so seeing arjuna get bashed because of the way his conflict with karna was written is... hm. let’s say that im REALLY starting to understand arjuna fans that dislike seeing him get mischaracterized so much. OTHER THAN THAT, his design is adorable, his travel outfit is my favourite because he deserves to relax and have some fun!!! fgo making him a chuuni is cute and his VAs little moans are cute cute cute!!!!!!!!!!! (mash grabs my shoulder and forces me to sit down) i think that arjuna deserves better and im really happy to see him have fun in his travel costume voicelines. i think we should take arjun on a date!!! he’s a great lover, we’d have the best time!! OH ALSO, kama seeing him as the student council president in their interlude makes me SOOOOOOO HAPPY its unreal, i think it fits him very very well, the seitokaichou who was elected because of everyone’s hopes and recommended by teachers because he’s suuuch a good student but because of that, the pressure to be good is constantly towering over his head and everytime he looks out the window he wishes he could ditch class and skip a day just because he felt like going to the arcade and be a bad student.......just this once........i think hes very very cute...... i want him to cook for me. HAVE YO U READ HIS BOND 4 VOICELINE ?mmmmmggg i want him to get embarrassed everytime i praise him for having such a muscular waistline. AUG

ANEWAYS i also have quite the thoughts about karna, his characterization in the game is linked to arjuna’s and thats fine but i think that forgetting how much of a little sassy bastard he can get was a mistake! did you know that in apocrypha’s german dub on netflix, when jeanne calls his name like “You’re Karna, aren’t you ? The son of the Indian Sun God !” HES LIKE “So ?” AND THAT WAS SOOOO BITCHY OF HIM, i think that karna is a good boy in fgo but the fact that he was such a fighty old man in the mahabharata shouldnt be forgotten and is a charm trait. I MEAN ???? HE THREW HANDS WITH AN 18 YEAR OLD(ARJUN) WHILE BEIN LIKE... THIRTY TWO. WHATS WITH THIS ANNOYING OLD MAN !!!!! knowing these little facts about him made me like him so much more actually !! i think karna being so nice is adorable!! but the little bitchy energy u can find in his voicelines is also very charming!! i think karna looking at me emotionless as i ask him to lend me his notes for the nth time that week and then saying “...Mn.” when i thank him is cute!!! his voiceline towards things he dislikes is interesting to me. karna seeming aloof and mean bc he doesnt know how to communicate but is actually nice underneath...... hey... thats a little delinquentcore........ i wouldnt say yankii but hes like... hes like... u know hes the handsome quiet one of the group of yankiis... u know the one...? hey where are you going

ganesha is also a character im deeply interested in but i havent played CCC so i dont know that many details about jinako herself !! my brain goes HMMMMMM it seems lord ganesha is trans in fgo ! (since kama used to be a male god originally as well!!) ganesha uses all pronouns!!! and ganesha is also special to me because they share similar traits with kama when it comes to their characterization AND mischaracterizations. ganesha isnt JUST jinako. theres a part of a god in the servant mix!!! and jinako HERSELF is actually a pretty sad character imo. the whole otaku/neet thing is obviously a facade and her true wish being that she wants to redo her whole life is also proof of how much she hates what shes become, yet at the same time, she doesnt know what else she could do. but anyways, i prefer looking at servants from a lore POV so i think that ganesha should still be considered a god and be adressed as such!! i like seeing people portray ganesha as jinako but i prefer it when a certain lavish more godly side of them is put forward. a side of jinako that managed to move on a little bit if that makes sense ? that got more serious. and became someone else entierly despite sharing similarities. needless to say their bond with karna makes me happy since he shows them respect as you should towards a god!! its a bit different from their bond in CCC... like they matured somewhat!! anyway ganesha is the one who taught everyone else in the indo fam about video games and technology and i will NEVER shut up.

ashwatthama..... MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM %_’(’ç_”’è_ç(è_’”545656455456545453£¨¨µ¨µMµ¨++°=)=)°+ goodness. jesus christ on earth. my love story with him makes me so embarrassed. when he got revealed i instantly fell in love with him despite knowing JACK SHIT ABOUT HIM but since i was the only one in my friend group who was hardcore into fgo at the time, i kept my love for him to myself and just... (looks away)(i drop my wallet full of picturses of him) quietly adored his everything in silence. WELL, ree having an intense crush on yankii type characters isnt new, its been my favourite trope for ages (gyarus go in hand with them!!) and im still very attached to it so thats what made me love him in the first place!!!! BUT THEN. I GOT INTO HIS MAHABHARATAN LORE. And OHHHHHHHHH BABY.......... (im twirling my hair) so theres this 7ft tall war criminal..........<3<33<3(mash leans in and informs me that the convention of geneva didnt exist at the time) SO THERES THIS 7 FTTALL IMMORTALMAN.......<233 gOD he makes me absolutely CRAZY9909840385%£%%£%%µ%µ%µ the love i have for this character is immense and whenever im sad i remember that pako exists and has a tablet and can draw and i suddenly feel so much better. ok im gonna stop horny posting a little bit. but hes my wife. AND WHAT I LOVE ABOUT HIS PORTRAYAL IN FGO IS THAT, they actually made him a good boy despite his initial roughness and misdeeds ???!!! HELLO?? ashwatthama wishing for a redemption ark is my favourite thing and his righteousness that was born because of his regrets is a very interesting drivepoint to me !!! hes a gorgeous character and im buying a ticket plane as we speak right now so i can go find him in northern india. i’ll find him. GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME !!!!!GET OFF ME !!!

miss lakshimi makes me very sad! because every female servant in the indo fam is an already known face. (... would sita count.) and lakshi being a jeanneface is a waste. well, she’s still very pretty and her lore is also quite interesting!! i havent looked into it fully yet but i think she should be kissed on the mouth. her bad luck makes me slip on a banana peel whenevr i get close to her to kiss her and i hit my head on the pavement and pass away-

parvati is on a tough spot for me atm. i genuinely love thinking of her as the way the indian goddess herself is portrayed because thats where the fun lies for me in her character. especially when shes involved with other indian servants, thats a given!! i would like to see parvati grow, suffer and heal. because branding her as an “all-knowing mom” is easy, but every single parent makes mistakes if you follow that logic. also, since shes the sakura servant “thats closest to her initial personality”, she’s got some of the most Repulsive fans ive Ever witnessed in fandom spaces and lets say that im trying to work my way out of this hellhole and find things to like about parvati without the fandom’s influence. needless to say, im going to keep looking into her mythos and her lore by myself at my own pace and keep doing my own thing in my little corner.

rama shouldve been a jock. THE RAMAYANA IS OLDER THAN THE MAHABHARATA, WHY IS.....Hrm well him being summoned as his baby version gives me hope for a future rama alt perhaps??? but i think that he shouldve been a total jock and he shouldve been huge with a huge red lion-like mane for his hair and a teethy grin and big biceps and intense love for his wife. SPEAKING OF SITA, her charm point is her purity but i wish.... that their artist still hadnt drawn them like That, im not a fan of lily servants and i think purity = being young is a bit of an annoying excuse!!! rama and sita looking similar is because of their shared history which is fine but... rolls my eyes............. rama shouldve been 6ft tall and sita shouldve been a milf to match...... anyways i doubt ravana would be added as a servant but i’d love to have a ramayana centric event!! where all indo servants have their own lore centric role to play!!! oh thatd be a dream.... but i have learned to not expect much from a fanservice game so im jus gonna draw my own stuff! (strikes a pose!) (mashu claps!)

#answered #long post #SORRY FOR THE BIG SCROLL.

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chillyravenart · 4 years

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Since your opinions are gold, I was wondering about your take on Daemon's relationships with the different women in his life. I always got the impression that he marries Laena out of love. Rhaenyra was for ambition, lust and I think fondness as well. Lady Misery would be like his booty call/partner-in-crime, and finally Nettle would be like a sort of fondness/protege/mentor thing. But I was curious on what your thoughts were because your opinions are always so cool and fun to read!

Ahh loool I'm so flattered you think so😂😂😂 I think you have the right of it btw, Daemon's relationships with his lady loves were all varied and very exciting to me, because that's just the kind of fictional scoundrel I give my heart and soul to. My opinions on Daemon and his lady loves seem to change a little based on how much I'm thirsting for him at the time. I think he's such a complex and roguish character, there is not exact or correct interpretation of what his relationships were like, paired with the testimony we get from the short stories/Fire & Blood etc. I feel like talking about someone so controversial and spicy is always bound to get people worked up, but since you asked MY OPINION, I shall briefly give it.

I think Daemon loved power first and foremost. His main mistress was ambition (& Dark Sister😂). I think his fondness for the women in his life stemmed from what he could gain from them, but it doesn't mean he didn't love them. Anyone who is expecting or holding Daemon as a paragon of husbandly virtue is wasting their time. Daemon is just such an eclectic, grey character, he's deadly and charming and a total w*t dream to me. And I've come to realise that romance aside, Daemon did things his way because thats who he is.

I think he loved Mysaria because she shared his cunning and ambition, like you said, she was his partner-in-crime. But then he also loved her enough to get her pregnant and present her with a dragon's egg (which Viserys had to confiscate lmaooo). He also maintained a working and romantic relationship with her until much later on, and it arguably soured with the whole incident with Rhaenyra and Nettles ("a queen's words, a whore's work").

I think the accounts may be somewhat correct in insinuating that Daemon married Laena to further his position in court: but I also think that being exiled with her and having his true born twins with her also cemented their relationship. I've always firmly believed that Laena grounded and matured Daemon, because he seemed to change as a man at that point as did his motives. Laena wasn't any shrinking wallflower, she was the beautiful, spirited daughter of two absolute badasses, Corlys and Rhaenys. So none of that UWU PoOr LaEnA bullshit please, the woman defied her family to elope with Daemon and tried to mount her dragon VHAGAR when she was dying ok, give her some credit. (I have a sneaking suspicion Laena may have had something to do with Daemon killing off her betrothed at the time too but that's just my own crack-theory lol). I also think Laena may have been one of his true loves, being a strong personality and the mother of his children had to have had a part to play.

Moving onto Rhaenyra, I think Daemon initially wanted to win her affections as she was heir to the throne and he had his own designs for power at the time. As the accounts tell us, he lavished her with gifts and tales, & the more sordid accounts mention him giving her a sexual education too. At this stage King Viserys had children with Alicent and Daemon's succession became more and more unlikely, even moreso when Rhaenyra had her own children an Viserys already acknowledged Jacaerys as Rhaenyra's successor. Rhaenyra was Daemon's niece after all, they had spent time together both in KL and Dragonstone with each other (alongside their spouses ahem potential ménage à trois ahem) so it stands to reason they grew closer after Laena's death when Rhaenyra "comforted him in his grief". Daemon must have realised at this point that being Prince Consort was the closest he'd get to the Iron Throne, so he married her and had his much awaited sons with her too. Then the Dance began and Daemon exercised his power by fighting for Rhaenyra's claim with vengeance and blood. And that fact that he CROWNED HER??? That was very sexy of him.

You know what else was very sexy of him??? "Lucerys shall be avenged" just gives me goosebumps ALL THE TIME 😂🥵 I have mentioned my thoughts on Daemon x Rhaenyra my OTP, my loves, my favourite beguiling pairing EVER here if you want to have a look. I think Daemon used every power available to him to fight for Rhaenyra, he was loyal to her cause and died for her too. Him sleeping around doesn't bother me lmao, if you're looking for morality in Daemon "City Boy" Targaryen, you need your heads checked 😂

I also think Daemon's relationship with Nettles was also very complex. There are instances when its described as romantic and instances where its described as paternal. At this stage the Dance had wreaked a lot of havoc and Rhaenyra's hold in KL was also growing timorous. Dragons were dying, Targaryens were dying, people were dying. Rhaenyra had suffered loss, betrayal, death - she was fractured and paranoid and rightfully so. Maybe Daemon was growing soft in his "old age" and connected with the fearless Nettles because she reminded him of himself, and his roguish youth. I think there is more to their relationship judging by how he defied Rhaenyra to let her escape and his (& Caraxes) reactions to Nettles departure. Nettles herself had tears streaming down her face. I know there are theories that he may have been her father and they're definitely not far-fetched so make of that what you will. Daemon decided to take Aemond/Vhagar down as his swan song and he did 🔥❤

I just love Daemon as a character SO much, he's equal parts hero and equal parts villain and I think his complexity allows for a greater understanding and interpretation of his motives and romantic relationships. I've always found his various trysts and relationships so interesting and he genuinely made The Dance super sexy for me too. I'll keep my incredibly thirsty thoughts to myself though lmaooo. Hope this answered your question and thank you so much for thinking my opinions are anything but a rambling hot mess😂❤

#daemon targaryen #daemon x women #daemon x laena #daemon x rhaenyra #mysaria #nettles #the dance of the dragons #asks #chillyravenart answers

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