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gayerthanevertbh · 1 year

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pairings: pervy!older!natasha x babysitter!reader

warnings: dub-con, natasha being a pervert, non-consensual kiss, anal sex, strap-on (r receiving), mommy kink (n receiving), breeding kink, biting, pet names, dirty talking, praise kink, and more 18+ MINORS DNI

notes: a universe where natasha could actually feel reader with her strap? LMAO? ENJOY??

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“How is she?”

I was startled by the sound of Ms. Romanoff’s voice that I had hoped that she wouldn’t have seen me flinching. Turning around, I replied quietly: "She's doing well, Aliana just got into bed.”

She smiled and walked to her room, probably kissing her goodnight. Since Ms. Romanoff prefers to be alone at times, this was my cue to get up and leave. I’ve always been her babysitter ever since I started senior year, and she once admitted that I was her favorite. Knowing how I have parental issues, that information brightened me up like a sunflower. I grabbed my sling bag and stepped outside when I heard a faint call from her, saying: “Why don’t you stay for a bit? It’s raining outside.”

“Oh, I can manage. My house is just–”

She interrupts me, shaking her head, insisting me to stay. “No, please, stay. I think I’d like some company.”

I was taken aback by this. Did she want to spend time with me? Why? I was younger than her by two decades, and the only conversation we would create is about Aliana and how she is such a good child – which I don’t mind. I gave her a small nod and walked back inside, hearing the door shut firmly behind me.

Natasha led me to the kitchen and grabbed two glasses that were meant for drinking alcohol. She took a looking expensive whiskey bottle and poured herself a drink. One thing I know about Natasha is that she loves drinking her favorite alcohol: whiskey. Sometimes vodka, but, that would depend on the feel of her day.

“H-How was the convention?” I asked with my tippy-toes.

“It was great,” she answered, her voice getting deeper as the night aroused. “Do you want a drink?”

“I-I’m eighteen.”

“Right,” she mumbles under her breath, almost cursing that she forgot that I was just a minor. Well, technically an adult who isn’t legally allowed to drink. “Sorry, I’ve had a rough day. You know… all these clients and stuff. Why don’t we sit on the couch?’

I followed her all the way back to the living room and sat down beside her, but we were inches apart. I’d say a good amount of gap between us. I pressed my knees together and started playing with the skin of my nails, wondering and thinking in my head about what else I could talk about with her. Possibly, she’ll be bored if I talk about my school, right? It was hard. It’s writing an essay that you don’t even like.

She pushes her hair away from her forehead and inhales through her nose, I could hear her breathing pretty well from the distance. She asked, “Got a boyfriend or something?”

I shook my head, dismissing the fact that I was never in a relationship.

“No.”

She chuckles, bringing the rim of her glass to her lips as she takes a long sip; smacking her plump lips afterward, tasting the sensational feeling of the alcohol on the tip of her tongue.

“Boys are dumb anyway.”

“I never had a girlfriend either.”

She looks at me with bewildered eyes. “Seriously?” she was trying not to laugh, but she couldn’t help herself but chuckle lightly at my confession – it almost made me want to cover my face. “Well, I assumed you were into girls as well.”

“H-How?”

“The way you dress,” she said with a long deep hum. “Maybe the way you would stare at me whenever you’re here.”

“Oh,” I let out a hiccup, taking my eyes away from the woman as I felt my cheeks heating up from the statement," she has said. Did she seriously see me staring at her?! “I-I’m sorry, I have a staring problem.”

“Me too.”

I looked at her and noticed that she was gazing into my eyes, then into my lips. But that briefly happened when she took another sip from her glass, and her eyes were removed from mine – as much as to my disappointment. Natasha said, “My daughter really likes you, she’s never been like this with any nannies.”

I giggled, covering my mouth. “I’m glad that I get to be her nanny, Aliana is a great kid.”

She nods, smiling to herself while drinking from her glass once more. “Yeah,” she mumbles. “She’s my only baby.”

“W-what happened to her dad?” my mouth didn’t stop me from speaking out of my mind, and I sincerely regret saying it out loud. She turns her head slowly and gives me a look that I don’t recognize from her. It’s a different look, and I knew I’ve crossed the line. “I’m sorry! I-I shouldn’t have said that, I was just curious–”

“Gone,” she responded, her voice on edge, but her eyes were soft like a petal of a rose. “He’s gone. He’s a fuck-up.”

“Oh…”

“Yeah,” she chuckles, rather deeply, and finishes her glass with a form of red seeping out of her eyebags. “Shit, it’s late. Why don’t you stay for the night? I have a spare room.”

“I don’t think so,” I replied kindly, rubbing my forearm in response to my anxiety. She tilts her head and smiles, shaking her head. “N-No, I’m sorry. My mom must be expecting me to come home.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll go tell your mom that you’re staying with me.”

It wasn’t because I was scared of her, it was more like I was trespassing into her home since I’m not a family member nor a friend in her eyes. I was just a babysitter, a good little babysitter for her kid. It was getting colder outside, and the windows started to fog up due to the coolness. So maybe staying at her place wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

But I couldn’t, knowing my infatuation for the older woman will increase like a gas pedal. I said quietly, “I have to go home, Ms. Romanoff. It is rather late and I have school tomorrow–”

“Please,” she asked, almost in a begging matter as she intertwined her hands with mine, holding it close to her stomach. “Stay with me, just for the night.”

Natasha sits closer and slips her hand into my shorts, touching my crotch through the cloth of my panties. I gasped loudly, knowing that this scene could go somewhere else and that it might as well be sinful to sight. I shake my head, trying to push her hand away, but she puts on more pressure and kisses the shell of my ear like a predator insatiable for its prey. “Natasha!”

“Please,” she begs again, kissing my neck with wet lips. “Let me touch you, just stay still for me…”

She palms my arousing core, breathing hard on my neck with whimpering noises that sounded too lewd for my ears. I turned my head away but her other hand pulled my chin to her side and sloppily gave me a kiss on the mouth, moaning with a cry cracking inside her throat. This felt surreal to me, the kiss made the uncomfortable silence slip away but I was in my head too much. I needed to slip away from her mouth, this wasn’t making me feel very good. She was sweet but rough, hard but also soft. And when she groped my left breast, I knew that was my last straw.

“Stay away from me!” I bolted up, padding my shorts away as I walked to the front door with my feet thudding on the ground. Natasha chases after me and tries to pull me closer to her, but I slapped her the face of her cheek hard. We both gasped, knowing that I’d just laid my hands on her, and I knew that I’d regret it the day I woke up. She rubbed her reddening face but kept her eyes on the ground.

“Y-You touched me,” I whimpered, holding my bag close to my private area. She only gave me a sad look and scratched the back of her neck, almost feeling ashamed for what she had done. “I always had a crush on you but I never thought you’d be a pervert!”

“Y/n–”

The truth is, I liked the way she touched me down there. I most certainly loved the way she kissed my neck, how she was desperate for me and only me. It’s almost as if I was important – validated. But knowing that she was in her drunken state and the sense of infidelity, I couldn’t bear myself to ruin a relationship between us that seemed fragile at this point.

“Touch someone of your own age,” I didn’t realize how vocal I was when I suddenly become so… aroused from what happened recently on the couch. “B-But don’t ever do that on me.”

“Admit that you liked the way I touched you,” she smugged, chuckling from the side as she got closer, which I immediately backed up. “Come on, you know you liked it.”

“No, I didn’t.” I lied.

She grabbed my wrist, but I wrestled away as I pushed her chest. I gave her one last look before storming out of her house, not caring if my bag gets wet from the rain, not caring if I cry throughout my walk back to the house. I debated to myself whether I should still babysit for her daughter or not, but I realized that if I did leave, Aliana would be devastated. But if I stay; Natasha will keep touching me, and I would end up having sex with her.

I got back to my room safely and took a warm shower with the previous incident that had happened not even thirty minutes ago.

—

Once again, I found myself in Natasha’s home, much to my surprise. But this time, she was here with me and Aliana. I had hoped that at least she would be away again from work, but she was here the minute I rang the doorbell. The only difference is: she had a friend over, I think her name was Wanda… or something. I don’t know, why would I need to know? It’s not like I’m her girlfriend.

I knew she had guilt in her eyes the moment I walked in, I could barely even look up at her with my pearling eyes. The atmosphere has gotten thick as well as our relationship, I don’t know how I would respond to her if she ever talked to me again; somehow wishing that she would.

“Is mama mad at you?”

I was taken by surprise by Aliana’s question, which clenches my heart with the thought of us not having an interaction. Though, I shook my head in response, pretending that everything was okay between me and Natasha. Even just for the little girl in front of me.

“No,” I whispered, patting her head with my hand. “What makes you say that, honey?”

“Because I saw mama crying before you came by,” she said sadly. “She looked really sad, Y/n. I didn’t know what to do.”

I didn’t know what to do either – I felt bad when I remember speaking to her like that. Calling her a pervert, and hitting her on the chest, is something that I regret deeply. I could’ve just spoken to her in a calm way, I could’ve just done that.

“Your mama and I are okay hon,” I smiled at her, gently pinching her cheek as I received a huge smile on her face. “Listen, why don’t you play with your dollies? I’ll go check it out on your mama.”

The little one went back to the living room as I cleaned the kitchen area, sighing to myself. If I speak to her now, I will get a paycheck and might never see her again. Because if I tell her that I wouldn’t want what she wanted, the only reason for us to depart is me going away first. But deep inside, I wanted what she wanted. I wanted her to touch me, to lick me, to kiss me as if I’d lost my breath.

It’s a treacherous feeling; something magical yet devious.

“Y/n?”

In front of me, Natasha held a glass of whiskey and a cigarette in between her fingers. I looked at her briefly, then kept my eyes on the stove instead. I could hear the other woman, Wanda, having a conversation with Aliana while Natasha was in the same area as me. I wish that she could just walk away and never talk about what happened that night. Because if we did – this time, I’d let her kiss me.

“Is there anything you need, Ms. Romanoff?”

“You know we have passed formalities, Y/n.”

I sighed, nodding at her answer. I turned my back on her when I felt her hand gripping my wrist – gently this time – and looked at me firmly with her watering eyes. I know she was about to cry, and I didn’t want to see any of it. After all, she did touch me that night without my permission; even though it was a great turn-on for me.

“I-I think you shouldn’t touch me,” I whispered, my lips trembling as I spoke. “We still haven’t talked about what happened that night.”

“I know,” she said, whispering to me in the same tone as mine. “Can we talk? Please? Maybe when Wanda leaves?”

“I have exams tomorrow,” A pause. “I-I think you should let go now, I have to go soon anyway.”

“But I want you to stay…”

“Please,” she asked, almost in a begging matter as she intertwined her hands with mine, holding it close to her stomach. “Stay with me, just for the night.”

No–stop. You can’t feel like this, she’s literally your mother at this point. Get over it.

“I…” I hesitated for a moment, trying to form the words in my hand as I think about other sentences that wouldn’t offend the woman before me. I realized how she was gently gripping me this time, and I could only whimper in the slightest way. “Okay, w-we can talk.”

As soon as Wanda left, it was alright nighttime. At around 9 pm, Aliana went to bed with Natasha’s Russian lullaby; which I find greatly amusing. I was waiting in the living room once again, holding a glass of water between my hands. I watch the clock tick, which represents my heartbeat. Tick tock, tick tock, I hear from afar – and I could admit that I was feeling nauseous each time it ticks.

What if we kiss again? What if I push her away? This doesn’t feel right, yet it’s something exciting like a burning passion of desire.

As soon as I felt tired, Natasha came by the scene. She sat down beside me with tired green eyes and pried her legs open as she sat down with a hunched back. She groans, rubbing her face softly with her hands, and murmurs: “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Oh.” I breathed out, not sure how to reply to that.

“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice shaking. “Fuck–I’m so sorry, Y/n. I knew I touched you too far, but I couldn’t help myself. I’m so fucking attracted to you and I only knew that since the day I met you.”

I was speechless. I didn’t know that she was attracted to me, or so I thought. I cracked my knuckles in the quiet air as silence was abrupt in the scene. I could almost hear the wind swooshing from outside; it was getting too quiet. Then, I felt the couch dip. I sensed that she was sitting closer to me, and I didn’t move. I just let it happen, almost as if I let her touch me that night.

She rests her hand on my thigh and squeezed my skin, making me let out a sharp breath. Her face was so close to mine that you think we might kiss, but I was damned to even think like that. She whispered with her breath trickling on the corner of my mouth, “Kotenok, look at me. Please, just look at me.”

“I can’t.”

I could feel her hand creeping closer to my core, and I made no effort to close my legs. Instead, I let her do it, I let her do whatever she wanted to do with me. She kisses the bare skin of my shoulder as she finally touches my covered core, her mouth letting out a victorious moan.

“Are you a virgin?”

I shake my head. I remember losing my virginity to a girl once, I wouldn’t say it felt amazing but I’d say it felt nice. I think.

“N-No, Ms–”

“It’s okay,” she whimpers, turning me around as she puts me into a hand-and-knee position on the couch. Except, when that happened, she pushed me down on the cushion until the side of my face collided with the soft leather that was on the couch. Natasha kisses my neck while her hands are on my waist, going up and down from time to time. “Please don’t be scared, ‘M not going to hurt you…”

“You’re touching me too far–”

“No it’s not too far,” she whines, shaking her head in exasperation. “Please just be good, I promise it won’t hurt. Has anyone fucked you in the ass?”

If my innocence was obvious, then she would know that. But it wasn’t obvious, so I shook my head in response. I could feel her smiling a bit, and I wish that I would’ve seen that instead of being pressed against this couch.

“Can I fuck you in the ass?”

“I–”

“Please?” she pleaded with whimpering, her hands squeezing the roundness of my ass. As much as I wanted to say no, I also had this firing feeling that I wanted it to happen. I can admit that I needed her to fuck me in the ass if it means to stay connected with her. If she didn’t kiss me that night, I don’t think I’d ever let her do this to me.

“Won’t Aliana hear us?” I asked, moaning quietly when she pulls up my skirt, gasping to herself when she sees me in my tiny panties that could barely cover my buttocks. “T-Tasha–”

“No,” she said as she kissed my nape once more. “She won’t, it’s just you and me, pretty baby. I’m going to take my strap out, okay?”

That’s why there was a bulge in her pants, I thought to myself. I can hear her pants zipping and a ruffling sound, knowing that she’s taking off her pants along with her underwear. As soon as I was about to close my eyes, I felt her strap grazing against my inner thighs, I let out a tiny whimper.

“I-Is it going to hurt?” I asked shyly, clenching both of my fists together as I feel my panties dragging down all the way to my ankles – until it was discarded.

“A little bit,” Natasha admitted, palming my left cheek. “Lift your butt, little girl. I’m going to spit on your hole.”

The knot in my stomach tightens, I could feel her breath trickling on the skin of my ass and I knew that this was bound to happen. I belonged to her, I just simply belonged to this woman who I merely don’t know of other than taking care of her child.

She spits on my hole and spreads the liquid around the tight ring of my ass, as she spits again and again – lubing it up. I was grateful enough that she was working me open, or I could have had serious injury if she just pushed inside of me. Nothing would be enjoyable if that would’ve happened.

“You’re my favorite babysitter,” she murmured to my neck as she wrapped her arm around my waist, pulling me up slightly as she gave my collarbone open-mouth kisses. Wet kisses, to be exact. I let out a sharp moan and she chuckles from that. “You’re loving this, aren’t you? You like it when Mommy is about to fuck you in the ass?”

“Yes,” I said urgently, giving myself to her, as I should be doing in the first place. “Please, just do it…”

I want her, I want her cock, I want everything that she can give to me. I want it all.

She presses her lips against mine and kisses me like no other, holding my body close as she kisses me with full of her tongue. Natasha pulls away with our lips creating a soft wet smack and spits on her hand, lathering her faux cock with her thick saliva all around it. She looks back at me and starts humping me from the back, moaning each time her cock slips in between my buttocks. It was a pretty sight for her, especially when I’m fully submitted to her glory.

“No one else could touch you, okay? No one,” she said, almost in a demanding voice, but you could hear a tinge of sweetness in her tone. She kisses my nape again and leaves a nail trail mark on my ass. “Open up for me, it’s okay… I’m not going to hurt you.”

On the first push, I screamed from my throat. She quickly covered my mouth and shushes me by the ear, whispering: “You can’t be loud little one! You’re going to wake my daughter up.” and kept pushing her length inside of me, I couldn’t help but whimper and cry at the same time. It felt good, too good for my liking. I never thought I’d be such an… anal whore, as they say on the internet. It’s like she’s opening me like it was the last time; I was on top of the hill.

Natasha breathes heavily on my collarbone as her eyes stare at her cock pushing inside of my asshole, her other hand on my hips to hold me back up. “God,” she cries out, resting her forehead against the back of my head. “You’re so tight, I can feel you… I can feel your ass wrapping around my dick.”

“W-what?”

“That’s right sweetie,” she coos, pulling out a bit and pushing back in with the couch squeaking underneath me. “Oh yeah–that’s fucking it, you feel so good around me.”

She brings my face closer to hers as we kiss once again, our tongues battling for dominance. But I simply let her take the lead as I’m too dazed by the feeling of my asshole being fucked with her enormous dildo inside of me, almost as if she’s pounding into me this quick. Natasha pulls out again and snaps her hips back into me until my ass hits her pelvis.

“We’re connected,” she said, cracking a tearful smile. “You’re squeezing my cock too good, I can’t believe I’m fucking my daughter’s babysitter…”

Natasha begins peppering lingering kisses on my shoulder as she thrusts in an upward motion, both of our hips moving in sync. The couch squeaks more, as the slapping of our skin fills up the entire apartment, knowing for the fact that people might as well hear us. But she didn’t care, and neither did I. You could say that I was a cock whore, a cock slut. But I wouldn’t broadcast that aloud, because then – I’d lose my innocence.

“Feels good,” I breathed out, clutching the arm of the couch tightly as she grunts above me each time the tip of her cock hits my spot. “D-Don’t stop, please don’t stop…”

“I won’t,” she reassures, giving my ear a brief kiss before bringing both of her hands to grope my breasts, mounding and pressing them together while thrusting inside of my gaping hole as if it was my vagina. She removed her mouth from my skin, and muttered: “Is this what you wanted?”

I nodded. “Mhm…”

“You wanted this big fat cock didn’t you, pretty baby?”

“Yes–yes!”

“You make me so happy,” she moans in a high-pitched tone, closing her eyes tightly as she feels herself having an orgasm. “You wanted this… you’ve always wanted this.”

I wasn’t sure whether I wanted it or not. Either way, I never thought it would feel this good. Because, in my defense, I was only a babysitter for Natasha’s daughter. And now, I’m a total cock sucking whore for her that would do anything for her will. Whatever she wanted, I’ll let her do it, I was hers anyway.

“I’m close,” she murmurs into my neck, grunting quietly as she gets deeper. While trying to have my climax, I felt her thumb pressing against my clit – rubbing the bud furiously to have an orgasm with her. “Hump my cock, baby. Just push back.”

I did what she told me to do, I pushed back. And boy, she loved it. She was moaning about how delicious my asshole felt around her dildo, praising and kissing me with our bodies pressed together even though we couldn’t feel each other in the way we wanted to. She slowly humps my ass, dragging the length in and out while moaning with whimpers and cries.

“Gonna cum in your fucking ass,” she cries out, biting softly on my neck. “Want me to get you pregnant? Huh? Wanna give me a baby?”

“Mommy, no…” I pleaded, sobbing out loud in the area. What if she has the power to get me pregnant? What if, whatever is in that dildo, does it get me pregnant? I wasn’t ready, I don’t think I was. “W-Wait, no! Don’t cum inside of me, please don’t–”

“It’s only in the ass baby,” she whispers in my ear, slowly thrusting inside of me. Too slow. “Just let me get you pregnant, sweetie… shh, it’s okay! It’s okay…”

Her words were starting to slur, as her hand gripped my waist – surely enough that my skin would be imprinted by her nails. She drags her wet lips all the way to my nape and shoots her fake load inside of me with staggering moans, mixed with her whimpers. She humps my ass twice and holds me down on the couch. “Take it, baby! Take all of my fucking cum in your ass…”

While having an orgasm in my absent cunt, she was still fucking me from behind with her loud lewd moans and deep cries that would ring in my ear forever. She kisses my lips sloppily and whispers with a hazed look, “You’re amazing, you’re just fucking amazing…”

After we were done, she pulled out of me and placed the strap-on on the coffee table, not caring if it would stain my ass cum. She gets behind me and hugs me close, our bare legs intertwined as well as her pelvis pressed against my ass. She rakes her fingers through my hair, and smells it deeply; satisfied with herself.

“Did I hurt you?” she asked, and she received a shake of my head. She smiled. “Good, I don’t ever want to hurt you.”

After a long while of silence, I asked in the cold middle of the air: “Are you going to dump me now?”

Natasha lifts her head a little and scrunches her eyebrows in confusion.

“W-What?”

“You’ve used my body,” I replied, cracking a sob between my lips. “The first time I had, s-she left me! She went away and now you’ve taken me you’re going to go–”

“No, no, no…” she shushes, cupping my face as she kisses me deeply with her tongue slipping into my mouth. Natasha pulled away and pecked my wet lower lip, and continued. “I won’t ever leave you, okay? I want you to stay with me.”

Maybe staying with her wasn’t such a bad idea, after all, maybe everything would feel better with her if I did stay. I can hear her in the back of my mind, saying: please, stay. Just stay and I remember being so stubborn about it too. But now as I look at her, I can feel the sincerity in her eyes.

I wanted to stay.

“I’ll stay,” I whispered as I felt her head cradling my head. “I’ll stay.”

“Okay, my little girl. You’ll stay, you’ll always stay.”

i want pervy!natasha to touch me in the-

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff fanfic #mommy natasha #black widow x reader #black widow x you #a's oneshots!#enjoy lmao

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merlyn-bane · 3 months

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the gar has to have done fundraising calendars right?

text translation is "501st legion" and "support our troops"

#i have no explanations or excuses for this #enjoy lmao #captain rex #clone pin-up calendar #gar fundraising calendar #star wars #clone wars #star wars: the clone wars #art #my art #digital art

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snazzyladreal · 10 months

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Metadede headcanons

Ft. Transfem Meta and Bisexual Himbo Dedede

She sit on his shoulder/arm like a bird and uses this to cuss people out

Meta still can’t cook for shit

Dedede can barely cook but makes the sickest chocolate chip cookies this side of the galaxy

Meta can carry Dedede around and this results in the ‘mah wweifie iss sooo stroong’ cringe affect

Once Dedede got a ball of yarn out of curiosity and Meta immediately just acted like an excited kitten

Meta has (kinda reluctantly)let Kirby and Sailor do her makeup before

The statues from the ‘Sworn Partners’ fight are now in a garden under their bedroom window

Meta tried baking a cake for her hubby’s birthday once

Bandana had to drag her away from the fire that started

If anyone misgenders Meta, be prepared to be threatened by a penguin while his wife flips you off

‘Meta Knight’s Revenge’ happened before they started dating

After the Halberd crashed, the entire crew showed up on Dedede’s doorstep, drenched in water and looking slightly like sad cats

“hey, sooooooo, we need a place to stay for a bit….”

”meta what the fuck did you do”

Meta would just leave flowers on Dedede’s window sill cause she suck ass at flirting

Imagine - lil borb meta flying and carrying big ass penguin husband with one hand

she stronk

Mets just sinks into the fluff of Dedede’s robe

literally looks like the top of a grape with wings in the fluff

she can and will sleep like this

Meta’s (semi-jokingly) pissed that her husband has better boobs then her

”HIS are all natural, and I had to pay to get these motherfuvkers!”

Dedede makes sure to kiss all of Meta’s face scars whenever she takes her mask off around him

You ever seen a penguin king pet his sleeping bat wife like she was a cat?

well now you have the cute mental image

Everything is okay once you cuddle in the world’s comfiest bed with piles of blanket around

They spar as date nights sometimes

Meta’s got some jealousy issues based off insecurities

but then her husband kisses her and she feels much better

Once meta put fake lashes on her mask to try to get people to gender her correctly

she was so pissed off when it actually worked

Dedede couldn’t stop laughing

They both adopted the dee twins separately before they were married

Meta is the scariest of the entire family

you put pickles on someone’s burger when they asked for none?

prepare to have your head added to the wall above a fireplace somewhere

They also have the biggest table in the castle filled with food for eating contest dates sometimes

Dedede loves listening to his wife infodump about the stars and constellations

everyone in the kingdom thought they were oblivious idiots in love until they announced their wedding

Meta can see UV light so sometimes she actually thinks her husband is glowing when her eyes are just being like ‘ooooo pretty light’

Meta is moronsexual

they do each other’s make up

ddd is a fucking master at doing eyeliner

the queerest straights you’ll ever meet

#snazz’s headcanons #meta knight #transfem meta knight #king dedede #bandana dee #kirby series #kirby headcanons #metadede #metadede headcanons #They idiots in love #Strong ass wife #Lovable idiot husband #Best dynamic out there #Love them #anyway #enjoy lmao #snazz screams

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ryo-creampuff · 1 year

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forgot to upload here whoops uh happy valentines day

#i was never gonna finish this sooooo #enjoy lmao #head empty with nothing but chreon #my art #resident evil #resident evil leon #resident evil chris #resident evil vendetta #leon kennedy #leon s kennedy #chris redfield #chreon #chris redfield fanart #leon kennedy fanart #resident evil fanart

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bubblyartisticart · 9 months

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My first turtles fanart and it's a meme

#rottmnt #meme #enjoy lmao #someone's probably already done this #I needed to draw them #viewing content just isnt enough anymore #i need to make it myself #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #fanart #meme redraw

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bunglegaydogs · 11 months

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okay so i made a few changes and it looks well better but still very much wrong lmao i fucking love it when the sun shines on my art though, makes that shit look majestic anyways, don't ask me what happened with nikolai's hand, it looks awful <3

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sushisocks · 6 months

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Do you have any Sean x Lenny headcanons? I’m so desperate for more of their content, lol.

DO I HAVE SEAN X LENNY HEADCANONS?!??! Dear anon I could talk about macsummers FOREVEEERRRR!!!! We are truly STARVED for content about them but yes yes let me share some THOUGHTS I have lolol (sorry for the late reply, this week has been kicking my ass aklsdjf)

Okay see I think MacSummers have such good potential to be real 'one fell first, the other fell harder', in that sense of the second person falling suddenly having to catch up on all the feelings, yknow? And it works EITHER way, which I LOVE abt them, so let's talk about what their crushes would look like njbhnjbhmk

Lenny's first to fall:

Lenny ABSOLUTELY has a crush foreveeerrr, pining HARD because he can't bring himself to make a move. Half of that is also reckoning with the fact that he HAS a crush, and on Sean of all people.

Sean is an oblivious idiot; a bi king so busy with the thrill of the chase he doesn't realize what's right in front of him at first, and also, in his mind the possibility of Lenny being interested in him is so small it barely connects.

It's a mess; people DEFINITELY start noticing - it's Lenny's first time having feelings as intense as these about someone and he is NOT as subtle as he'd like to believe he is.

Truly painful for anyone to witness; no, Lenny, that joke was not that funny, stop staring wistfully across the camp like that, everyone knows you're just sitting at the campfire because Sean is there, your book is upside down.

The girls swing back and forth between gently teasing him about it or trying to cheer him up after witnessing some horrendous attempt at flirting from Sean with one of them - they're all rolling their eyes at him for it.

Jenny is def the one who notices first, and the one Lenny goes to for advice. She does NOT give him good advice. Thankfully Lenny is smart enough to realize as much when she tells him to take Sean fishing during a moonlit night, like that's 1) romantic in any sense of the word or 2) something normal for them to do.

Hosea also catches on but it just makes him more grumpy when dealing with Sean, very fatherly 'youre not good enough for my child' vibes off him. Sean still has 0 clue, but now sometimes he catches Hosea giving him the deathstare, and there's a high chance that every time Hosea sees Sean even look in Lenny's direction, he's considering pulling his gun on him.

Tilly is the most sympathetic to Lenny out of the whole lot, when she's not laughing at him. Tbf they're all laughing at him.

The 'Let me teach you how to read!' thing is very much an excuse just to hang out with Sean more. Mind you Lenny is very serious in his effort to teach Sean, he definitely thinks Sean deserves someone making the effort for him, but he's very internally giddy about 'hihi spending time with crush!!' And he probably does have to go debrief with Jenny and Tilly about it.

He only FINALLY gets the nerve to make a move at the end of a long night of drinking. Liquid courage has Lenny grabbing a loud and laughing Sean by the wrist after he says or does something that makes Lenny want to vomit his heart out, dragging Sean out of camp past the treeline, and kissing him square on the mouth, if only for his sanity. Sean, once the shock passes, goes, verbatim "oh. OH! well, ya couldve told me earlier!" before proceeding to snog Lenny senseless <3

Sean's first to fall:

It takes a minute for Sean to actually realize he has a crush, but then Lenny looks at him in a certain way, smiling and gazing at him with those shrewd eyes of his, shining in the light of the campfire, and Sean feels like he's been struck by fucking lightning.

Who has eyes like that anyway?? Sean will not be able to stop thinking about them, ever, now.

He's upping the ante on silly goofy behavior by 11, just to make Lenny smile. Even better if he laughs!!

He agrees to be tutored in reading just to spend time with Lenny and promptly spends all that time vacillating between doing his utmost to distract Lenny away from the lesson with jokes or trying very hard to listen to him just to get lost in his eyes. Lenny doesn't really mind but they get nothing done.

Sean has a fucking army on his ass in seconds; Arthur, John, Tilly, Mary-Beth, and Karen all seem to know out of NOWHERE and Sean has to sit through a fucking impromptu roast while wondering if all his closest friends are fucking mind-readers.

It's funny to them all at first but there IS some sympathy for poor Sean. Doesn't stop them from teasing him mercilessly.

Those that know him, know he's fucked when he switches the 'I love ya!' to 'Ya love me!' with Lenny. It's harder to say to the people he has actual persistent non-platonic feelings for, and almost self-soothing to instead say the reverse as a substitute.

Thing is; if Lenny having a crush is unsubtle, Sean is a fucking bull in a china-shop by comparison. Lenny sure as hell has his suspicions from very early on.

IT DOESN'T HELP THAT WHEN SEAN GETS DRUNK HE'S FLIRTING WITH LENNY IN THE EXACT SAME WAY HE DOES WITH THE GIRLS.

Lenny is very good-humored about the whole thing but it comparatively to when Lenny's the one with the crush, it sure as hell doesn't take very long from Sean realizing his crush to Lenny also realizing Sean's crush.

It helps Lenny getting over his own nerves, if nothing else.

Everyone in camp knows by the time Lenny decides to end Sean's suffering. They walk down to the river near camp, find a spot which is a bit more secluded, and Lenny very gently cups Sean's face, tells him to stop him if he doesn't want this, and kisses him. Sean is grinning like the cat who got the cream afterwards, and Lenny v fondly calls him a fool.

There's like several relieved sighs when they return to camp holding hands. Like Sean isn't gonna be way more of a menace WITH a boyfriend than he is without.

Here's some general headcanons too, bcz I LOVE thinking and talking abt this ship lmfaoo

They're both very talkative - very much the types to stay up all night talking, discussing their thoughts and feelings, camp gossip, their childhoods, the most fucked up death they saw besides their dads', their favorite colors, etc etc. They've had SEVERAL items thrown at them for waking up their fellow gangmembers in the dead of night.

Lenny reads as very acts of service-y to me. Throwing a blanket over Sean when he's knocked out, bringing him food or snacks when he's on guard shift, teaching him how to read, etc etc.

Meanwhile Sean is very touchy; he likes the reassurance of Lenny's physical presence, and it can be as small as just feeling the press of their thighs while sitting next to each other, but they're not exactly strangers to other things like hugging or holding hands.

In that vein it's not uncommon to find Lenny like, doing his own thing, reading or writing, with Sean amusing himself by tracing the lines in Lenny's free hand, or dozing against his back or something.

They have that honeymoon period where you can't find one without the other and they're hard to separate for anything. Sean complains if they're set to different tasks during a job. They manage to be regular about it eventually, but there's an acclimation period for both them and everyone surrounding them -- baby's first proper relationship, y'know?

They're still prone to joining each other on their guard shifts though, even if just for a little while.

You know that comic that's like "I'm gonna kiss you stupid" "But I'm already so dumb!" "Youre gonna be such an idiot when I'm through with you" That Is Very Them imo lolol

Aaaannddd this is already so long I think I'll stop now before we're here all night kmjnhbjnbh

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scout985 · 10 months

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something sweet since I did the dumb insta reel thing

#cinnamon roll #my art #study #still life #food art #pastry #cinnabon #bread #sweet roll #food #illustration #digital art #artist #artists on tumblr #enjoy lmao

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snazzyladreal · 10 months

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doodles of my metadede ig

Ft. transfem meta knight cause yes 👍

Protective husband privileges

how to carry your sleepy bat wife 101

And bonus mama meta who still can’t cook for shit

#meta knight #transfem meta knight #king dedede #metadede #but they ‘straight’#queerist straight people on this side of popstar #dedede has the anime accent cause it amuses me #enjoy lmao #my art #doodles

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acernor · 5 months

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Liǔ Qīnggē/Shěn Yuán | Shěn Qīngqiū Additional Tags: sorry guys there is no actual oviposition, Vaginal Sex, lqg is one of those they/shimei lesbians if u get my drift, Oral Sex, shijie sqq endowed with magic lifesaving semen producing penis saves the day with creampie kink Summary:

Sure Airplane, invent a monster whose sexy oviposition tentacles could only be driven off by application of semen- but then the protagonist’s magic vagina juice also worked to repel them? All that was needed was some face riding and scissoring, and just like that wife #134 was preserved from tentacle porn?! It didn’t make sense! And what about the readers who wanted the tentacle porn?!

Thus, Shen Qingqiu remembers bleakly, her comments went on. Now, she has no choice but self-critique; she knew about this bullshit and yet here she is, trapped with Liu Qingge in the sex cave until sunrise, in possession of the only semen-producing anatomy in the room.

#liushen #liu qingge #shen qingqiu #svsss #scum villain #enjoy lmao

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boltun-tkn · 8 months

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💰royal pain💰

#royal pain #black and bruised #tagging for visibility #punch out #my gifs #i give u permission to make fun of him but not narcis #enjoy LMAO #tbh he is one of those characters i dont like much #british waluigi

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eliza-makepeace · 1 year

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So I've written the first part of a short Anakin & Padmé fanfic. As a bit of an A/N I feel I should state that I have a deep dislike for how in most fanfics I read about this pair, either they don't like each other, or she treats him like a kid and has a very condescending or maternal/older person tone with him, or they make it about other characters, i.e. Ahsoka or Obi-Wan.

So this is just a little thing I did for myself, where they're just a cute young couple of 20-something-year-olds who are crazy in love with each other. I thought some of you might enjoy it.

Sweet Nothing

Chapter One: Morning

It was early morning, but Anakin was already awake. He wasn’t one for oversleeping and he liked the feeling of a brand-new day, especially if his night hadn’t been plagued by worry, or dreams. Mostly, he loved waking up before she did. He never took it for granted, opening his eyes after the first ray of sunshine had crept through the window, and seeing Padmé lying next to him, breathing slowly with a soft smile playing at the corners of her lips.

She changed every time they came to Naboo together. It was as if Senator Amidala was another role for her to play, just as Queen Amidala had been, an act she did everywhere she went, with everyone she went with. For the most part. Anakin knew he was the only one she could be “just Padmé” with. She was still strong, and fierce, brave and intelligent, just as she was when she carried out her duties, but with him she wasn’t a Queen, or a Senator… she was a girl. He felt the same way about himself when he was with her. He suddenly wasn’t the Chosen One, or a Jedi, or anything else but the boy he never was really allowed to be. Together, they were young and, perhaps, foolish. But they were freer than they ever had been.

She moved, still in her dreams, to lay on her side, her face so that, if she opened her eyes, she’d be staring directly into his own. One of her brown curls covered part of her face, and Anakin raised his flesh hand to move it away, so carefully that anyone seeing it might have thought he was afraid she would shatter if he touched her too soon. Once that was done, he stared, marvelling at her soft features, and thinking to himself that he hadn’t been wrong when he’d asked her, so many years before, if she was an angel.

Padmé slowly blinked, not accustomed to the light, and smiled warmly when she recognised him. She hid part of her face against the pillow, flustered.

“Good morning” she greeted him; her voice muffled.

Anakin laughed softly and kissed her on the forehead. “Good morning to you too”. He knew she was staring at him intently, just as he had with her mere seconds before, as if she was soaking him in.

“You know,” she said, moving to properly look at him. “You look really handsome this morning.”

“I thought I always did.”

Padmé wrinkled her nose, in such a playful manner that made Anakin want to kiss her and…

“Well, that’s true. But more than usual.”

Anakin came closer, first placing a kiss on her hair, then her forehead, then her nose, and, just when he was close enough to kiss her lips, he stopped midway. “How so?”

She tried coming nearer, but he backed away with a cheeky smile. Padmé huffed, a feigned frustration in her eyes. She raised a hand to Anakin’s face, and traced the lines of his cheekbone and jaw with one finger. “You look happier than usual.”

Anakin looked up, pretending to be deep in thought. “That’s because I am.” He finally relented and came close enough to her that Padmé could lean in and kiss him. Her lips were soft, and he wondered if anyone could ever feel for someone like he did for her. He figured not. “It’s no short of a miracle to wake up next to you.” He said, breaking the kiss. “I don’t know what I’d do with myself if I couldn’t do this.”

Padmé smiled, her cheeks becoming bright red, and looking down before raising her eyes to meet his. “You make it sound as if you’re the only lucky one.”

Anakin raised an eyebrow. “I’m not?”

She kissed him again, this time more passionately than before. He wrapped her in his arms, her soft nightgown flowing underneath, as she put her arms around his neck, her fingers playing with his dark blond curls.

“No, you idiot.” She replied, out of breath. She bumped his nose with her own, smiling cheerfully. “I’m pretty lucky myself. You should have that in mind.”

He chuckled, placing his hands so that he was cupping her face. “I’ll try my best to remember.”

After another short kiss, Padmé stood up, suddenly energetic, and jumped out of the bed. “I’ve been thinking” she said, as she swiftly braided her long hair, “we could do something fun today.”

Anakin stared at her from the bed, a big smile on his face. “Fun? I thought that’s what we’ve been having these past few days.” His smile crooked, suddenly becoming mischievous. “Personally, I thought last night was more than fun.”

Padmé smirked and threw a small cushion at him, that he managed to dodge easily. “I meant actually going out, Anakin.” She walked through the room and opened the drawers. “Have you ever been to the summer solstice celebration in Varykino?”

Anakin passed a hand through his hair, putting it in its place. “I think you know I haven’t.”

“Yes, I do know.” She nodded, placing her hands on her hips. “Which is why I think we should go.”

He arched an eyebrow. “That does sound…entertaining.” He paused for a second. “My love, have you perhaps forgotten it’s a rather public endeavour?”

“I haven’t” she replied, shrugging. “No one will mind, Ani. This isn’t Coruscant. We just need to make sure we blend in with everyone else.”

He laughed a hearty laugh. “Well, that might be easier for some than for others.”

Padmé had been looking over her many dresses, but stopped mid-action when she heard her husband. She looked over at him. “Yeah, alright, fine.” She said, “So what if I occasionally take my clothing seriously? I can adapt!”

“Can you, really?” Anakin said, laughing as he stood up and walked to her. Suddenly she seemed so little, compared to his tall frame, but his height – and force sensitivity—weren’t that helpful in protecting him from her smacking him softly in the stomach. “Well,” he added, “Let’s accept that, for the sake of the argument, you can adapt your clothing choices. The real question, rather, is whether or not you could keep your hands off me there.”

Padmé looked him up and down, playing with her braided hair. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” she stood on her tiptoes, and placed a soft kiss on his jaw, mere centimeters away from his chin. “I guess you’ll just have to wait and see, Jedi.”

He bent to kiss her on her neck, closing his eyes as he inhaled her scent. "I thought we'd agreed not to talk about work, Senator."

She closed her eyes and placed a hand on his head as he pressed his lips right on her skin. "You're right. My deepest apologies. I... I don't know how I could forget." He raised his head and they pressed their foreheads together. "The truth is, Ani, I become slightly lightheaded and forgetful when I'm with you."

He smiled. "Well then, my love, I'll help you remember."

Padmé mirrored his gesture. "I bet you will."

#anidala #anakin skywalker #padme amidala #skyberrie #fanfic #my fics #also i REFUSE to fall to that thing ppl do in anidala fanfics where anakin keeps calling padme 'angel'#like. no. i'm sorry. he's never used that as a nickname for her #i'm a bit radical about that lmao #he calls her either padme or my love and i think that's neat #i have to admit there was one time where i thought *she* could call him babe #but then i hesitated and I didn't #anyways.#enjoy lmao #i have a couple more ideas for this so i'll add to it #its going to be a few short stories about them in Naboo having fun in the solstice celebration. nothing too crazy #also. padme is a weird feral 20 something yo girl and that's how she's in this #i refuse to see her any other way #he's completely batshit crazy but so is she

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