#especially when i have to buy all of my set texts and their commentaries
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Nightingale
Chapter Six - Welcome to the Neighborhood
Summary: Jensen Ackles seemed to have it all. A hit television series fifteen years running, a budding music career and a stunning wife. To the casual observer, his life was perfect. But it was a façade. No more real than the supernatural world created on a soundstage.
That day on the lake had started with uncertainty, but when he pulled you from the water everything became clear. The truth was, he’d been the one drowning.
Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader, Jensen x Reader, Jensen x You
Characters: Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki, Genevieve Padalecki, Misha Collins, Reader
Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Hospitals, Drowning, Fluff, Angst, Smut, unprotected sex
Chapter Six: Welcome to the Neighborhood
Word Count: 5394
Author’s Notes: This is a complete work of fiction about a real life person. The circumstances are totally made up and are in no way a commentary on the fantastic Jensen Ackles or his family.
This is also a unique reader insert story as I have given the reader a physical description including hair color, eye color and body type. Hopefully you can still lose yourself in the utter fantasy where Jensen is the hero and you are ripe for rescuing!
Masterlist
Nightingale Masterlist
It had been three days since Jensen sent you on that shopping trip and he hadn’t seen you since. Not in person, anyway. There was evidence that you were still in the apartment, dishes he used for breakfast were always put away clean by the time he got home at night. He heard your shower running one morning and he noticed the laundry was still being done. Life on set kept him busy, but he was still able to text back and forth with you. You always responded. Your answers were pleasant, but brief.
He was certain something was wrong, but he couldn’t for the life of him figure out what it was. He had his suspicions that something had happened on the day you went to the department store. His bank sent him a text alert when the final charge went through, and it was far less than he expected it to be. Clif told him you’d been fine on the ride home, maybe a little tired. It didn’t make any sense and it was driving him crazy. Which meant he was driving everyone else crazy, especially Jared.
“Something is wrong.”
Jared didn’t look up from his phone, he’d heard the same thing from his co-star for days. “We’ve got a few minutes, why don’t you give her a call?”
“Nah, I want to talk in person. Its just our schedules don’t seem to match up.”
“She’s recovering from a concussion,” Jared pointed out. “She doesn’t have a schedule.”
“She’s got a sleep schedule. You know how hard it is with us, we work all kind of weird hours.” Jensen picked at the edges of his paper coffee cup, a nervous habit. “I never paid it much attention before, you know Dee was never around for filming. I’m sure its nothing, it just feels like she’s avoiding me.”
The mention of the ex-wife broke through Jared’s annoyance. Jensen looked like a dejected puppy and Jared had a soft spot for puppies. “Look, I’ve got a later call time tomorrow. Why don’t we switch some things around, I’ll shoot my stuff first?”
“Nah, don’t worry about it. I’m probably making a bigger deal out of it than it is. It just feels weird because we spent so much time together before work started back up.”
Jared’s eyes narrowed in speculation as a sudden thought struck, “You’re avoiding her.”
Jensen scoffed and tossed his cup in the garbage, “What did I just say?”
“Nuh huh, I don’t buy it. You are direct to a fault, if you wanted to talk to her, you would. You’re waiting for her to come to you, why?”
“Because I don’t want to push,” Jensen finally admitted. “Obviously, I’ve done something or misread things. I don’t want to make it worse.”
“Talking is not going to make it worse. And if you did do something to piss her off, apologize.” Jared waggled his eyebrows, “Turn on that Winchester charm, I’m sure she’ll forgive you.”
“You’re an idiot,” Jensen deadpanned.
“We’re switching call times,” Jared retorted. “I can’t take another day of unrequited drama.”
He was in the kitchen when you waltzed in at 7:30 with a duffle bag over your shoulder. The buds were blasting in your ears, so you didn’t hear him say good morning to you three times. When you finally glanced up and saw a figure holding a cup of coffee you let out a scream so loud, they probably heard it in the lobby.
Jensen immediately set down the cup and held up a hand in surrender, “Whoa, easy… hey, it’s just me!”
You rubbed a hand over your racing heart, “Christ on a cracker!”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he apologized, while silently chiding himself.
You laughed, knowing you must have looked ridiculous. “No, it’s okay. I thought you were already at work.”
“Yeah, I’ve got a later call time today, so I can have a lazy morning.” He said, taking up his coffee again. “Which means I’ve got time to make a real breakfast, pancakes and everything. You game?”
He gave you a dazzling smile and you nearly melted. No one had a right to look that good first thing in the morning. Perhaps it was not seeing him for days that made it so much more apparent. Already showered and shaved, but still in his track pants and t-shirt. He looked much like he did during the week he spent taking care of you. Suddenly, all you wanted to do was curl up with him on the couch. Spend the day wrapped up in his arms, warm and safe from the uncertainties that kept you up at night.
My GOD he smells good! I wonder if he’s as good at kissing in real life as he is on t.v.? He must be, look at his mouth… and his hands.
“Oh no. No thank you, I’ve got a class at the club.”
“Oh,” he tried to keep the disappointment from his voice. “The health club downstairs?”
You looked down at your running suit that encased your body in navy blue and pink lycra. “Yeah, I’ve been itching to go to the gym. I think I used to quite a bit before the accident. My body’s been missing it.”
Judging by the way that suit hugged your curves, Jensen doubted your body was missing anything. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? I don’t want you getting hurt.”
“Actually, I’m taking one of the classes for seniors. I talked with one of the physical therapists down there and he helped me find something low impact.” You laughed a little, “I’m the youngest person by like forty years. Mrs. Hudson keeps trying to set me up with her grandson.”
“Mrs. Hudson?”
“She lives on the fifth floor, has a toy poodle named Mitzi and she is a huge Supernatural fan. Like, obsessed.”
“You don’t say,” he smiled a bit. “She want an autograph?”
“Yeah, but not yours.” You grinned, “Misha’s.”
He rolled his eyes, “Typical.”
“She also offered me a hundred bucks for a sneak peak at the plot for this season. I told her I’d think about it.”
“If she goes up to two hundred let me know, we can split it and go somewhere nice.”
You both laughed softly then fell into an awkward silence.
“Y/N, is everything okay?”
Your reply was quick. “Yeah, everything’s fine.”
“I know with my schedule and everything, we haven’t had much time to talk. It just seems like there’s something bothering you.”
When you finally looked up with your big, blue eyes, he knew he was right. He saw the uncertainty in your gaze, and it worried him. There was something you weren’t saying. What could he have done to lose your trust?
“Sweetheart, tell me. Is it me? Did I do something or say something to upset you?”
“No, no.” You sighed. The last thing you wanted was to worry him or anyone else. But Jensen was a persistent man, once he caught wind of something, he wouldn’t just let it go. It never occurred to you that he’d blame himself.
“Did something happen on that shopping trip? Did they not have what you needed?”
“No! They were all great, really. Thank you again, it was lovely.”
He gave a slight shake of his head, there was that slightly cool politeness. Rigid and formal. Not like you at all. “I kinda expected you to spend a little more, I mean… are you sure it was okay?”
“I got all the essentials, Jay. I didn’t need anything extravagant.”
“It was supposed to be fun; you know. A treat. Extravagant is part of the package.”
You didn’t reply to that. You knew he would only feel badly if you told him how that trip made you feel dirty. That you were worried that your presence in his life was being misinterpreted by pretty much everyone. That you were worried that deep down, that you were just not worthy of someone like him. Not as you are. Broken.
Jensen knew he couldn’t force you to confide in him. It wasn’t fair to push you just to satisfy his own doubts. “I don’t want you to be late to your class so, maybe I’ll see you later, okay?”
He was letting you off the hook. Giving you a chance to make a hasty escape. If you had a brain in your head, you’d take it. But you couldn’t just ignore the poorly masked hurt in his eyes. Somehow, he got it into his head that this was his fault, and you couldn’t just let him sit with that.
“You haven’t done anything wrong, Jay. You’ve been amazing. I just feel like I should be doing something. I want to contribute.”
“All you need to focus on is recovering. Don’t worry about the money thing, I know people get a little weird about it, but it’s not a big deal.”
“That’s not what I mean.” You crossed your arms over your stomach as you leaned against the counter. “I feel this pull to be active, to help people. I don’t know what I used to do for a living or even what I’m good at. I just know I have to try. There must be something I can do to be useful in the world.”
“Y/N, you’ve got a heart the size of Texas. I’m not surprised that you want to help people. And you should follow that feeling, but you gotta walk before you run.”
You gave a small smile, “Why do you think I’m in geriatric aerobics? I still get tired and my stamina is crap. I’m trying to build up my strength. Maybe I’ll stumble upon a forgotten talent.”
“I’m sure you will.” Jensen studied you for a moment, there was still a bit of tension in your posture. Your beautiful eyes were still a little guarded. He was certain there was more to it but decided to drop it for now.
“You should get going, don’t want to be late for class.”
“Yeah,” you picked up the forgotten gym bag and headed for the door. “Hey, um… do you think you’ll have a late night tonight?”
“Actually, I’ve got a light schedule. I’ll probably get out of there at a decent time.”
“Well, maybe we could have supper,” you suggested, chewing on your lower lip. “I saw a Tupperware in the back of the freezer that said Five Alarm.”
Jensen let out low whistle, “Oh, I don’t know Y/N. That’s Grandma Ackles award winning, Five Alarm Chili, it would burn the pants off a little lady like you.”
You scoffed, “If you can take it, I can take it.”
“I’m a Texan. I was born breaking horses and breathing fire.” He laid it on thick, exaggerating his accent. When he added a wink, you turned red.
“Shut up,” you laughed, shaking your head. The man was too cute, and he knew it.
“Alright, alright. I’ll start the crockpot and get the Pepto on standby.”
There was such softness in his green gaze as it flickered over your face. This wasn’t the first time a moment like this stretched out between the two of you. He said so much with those eyes of his, you swore you could feel the caress of them on your soul. Yet, he held back, closing his hands into loose fists at his sides. The warmth in his eyes turned uncertain and in that moment all you wanted to do was reassure him.
Your doubts quieted just long enough for your instincts called the shots. You stepped forward and wrapped him in a tight hug.
Jensen immediately reciprocated, his strong arms coming around you, holding you close. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply. This felt right. You felt right. Every time he had you in his arms, he felt something settle in his heart. You felt like home, it was that simple.
“You should get going,” he breathed, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “You don’t want to worry Mrs. Hudson.”
You felt tingly. Warm and fuzzy, all the way down to the soles of your shoes. No wonder Dean Winchester was so popular, the man portraying him was everything a woman could possibly want. Kind, strong, handsome, and funny. Hard working and generous. You had a long way to go if you were going to be worthy of a man like that. Better get started.
“Yeah, you’re right. See you for dinner?”
“It’s a date.”
You were still floating when you stepped into the elevator. You were no closer to answering the million questions you had about yourself, but you felt more centered. More sure of yourself and your path forward. Jensen always managed to help ground you and settle the doubts buzzing in your brain. That was just part of his magic.
The elevator paused after just a couple of floors, stopping to pick up another passenger. The doors slid open to reveal a small child. A little boy with shiny, black hair and a Buzz Lightyear doll clutched in his arms.
“Hey there,” you smiled, looking around for the adult who must be close by. “Are you lost?”
He didn’t say anything, but his big, brown eyes welled with tears as he hugged his doll even tighter.
You stepped out of the elevator and crouched down to his level. Poor little guy’s terrified.
“Is your mom around? Or your dad?” Getting no answer and seeing no worried parent around you tried another approach. “Do you live on this floor?”
This time he shrugged.
“A lot of these hallways look alike, huh? I get a little lost myself… say, do you know that big, fancy fountain downstairs? The one with the lights and the fish?”
His brown eyes grew wide, and he nodded. Jackpot, kids love those koi fish.
“Well, there is a really nice lady at the desk right by that fountain. She knows everyone in this building and knows where we all live. I bet if we ask her really nice, she will help us out.” You stood and held your hand out to him, “What do you say?”
Keeping Buzz in one arm, he grabbed your hand tightly and rode down to the lobby by your side.
His name was Christopher, and his frantic mother was already at the reception desk. The squirming toddler on her hip squealed and reached out when she saw you walking towards them.
“Mama!” Christopher tugged out of your hand and ran as fast as his little legs could carry him across the lobby.
“Christopher!” The mother dropped to her knees, scooping him up along with his sister. From the muffled, relieved scolding, you pieced together that he’d been playing hide and seek with his sibling and got a little too creative.
“You scared me to death!”
“I’m sorry Mama,” he cried into her shoulder.
You picked up the discarded doll and gave the frazzled mother a smile, “There’s no harm done. We just took a little elevator ride. I’m Y/N, by the way.”
“Maddy,” she replied. She allowed her children to slide to the floor but kept a hold of their hands. “Thank you so much… I swear these two will be the death of me!”
You looked a little more closely at the pair, they were like a matched set. Same height, same facial features, eye color, hair. One boy and one girl. “Twins?”
“Christopher and Casey. When they turned four, they figured out how to bypass the Netflix password and open any locked door. I think they’re bent on world domination.”
You laughed and noticed the tiny paint splatters in Maddy’s clothes and across her face. She wore old overalls with ripped knees, rolled up at the ankle and a faded bandana keeping her hair up. Her bare feet were paint splattered too, she obviously just ran out of her apartment in a hurry.
Middle of a project. Hyper, bored kids. Single mom?
“Would you like some help?”
Turns out you were right. Madison “Maddy” Montgomery was a single mother of five-year-old twins. Christopher and Casey. Her ex, Jake, was a military man who valued his career more than his wife and kids. He still kept in touch, but really had no interest in raising a family. A year ago, she moved to Vancouver to be closer to her sister and have a fresh start.
“So, what happened to your face? You owe money to the mob?”
“Boating accident,” you replied, loading your roller with paint. “I zigged when I should have zagged.”
Maddy rolled out a heavy drop cloth over the hardwood floors of her dining room. “Rookie mistake. So, what do you do when you’re not wrangling wayward toddlers?”
“Well, today I do this.”
“No kids of your own, huh? What do you do for a living?”
“Ah, well, I’m not really sure.”
“Identity crisis?” Maddy guessed.
You kept your attention on applying paint evenly. Part of you wanted to just gloss over the details of your life, keep the conversation light. After all, it was a pretty strange set of circumstances. Instead, you decided to take a leap of faith and be honest.
“Sort of. Amnesia.”
Maddy paused mid-way through taping off the woodwork. “Whoa, seriously?”
Before you knew it, the whole story came tumbling out. It was such a relief to share it with someone. The aerobics group only knew cursory details about your injuries and physical limitations. Jensen and Jared knew and were great, of course. But this was the first time you actually told someone about it. A perfect stranger, until an hour ago.
“Wow. Y/N, that’s… that’s intense. So, you have no idea who you are. Where you’re from, you’re family. Nothing?”
“No. Not really, just my first name and a couple of random memories.”
“That’s…. wow. That must be terrifying.”
“Sometimes,” you admitted. “Mostly, its frustrating. Thank God for Jensen, he helps keep me from spiraling out of control.”
A look of wide-eyed recognition crossed Maddy’s face. “Wait, Jensen Ackles? Your dashing hero is the super hottie in the penthouse?”
You stole a look over shoulder, “Yes?”
Maddy laughed then, “Girl!”
“Do you know him?” you asked casually.
“Not like you do, obviously,” Maddy teased. “I’ve met him in passing a couple of times, he helped me carry in groceries. Super sweet guy and gorgeous. My sister watches that show of his religiously.”
“Yeah, I’ve gotten into it recently myself.”
“You don’t say?”
“Shut up,” you grinned, unable to stop yourself.
“I heard he was back on the market, finally got rid of that ball and chain.”
“He was married?”
“You weren’t kidding about that amnesia, huh?” Maddy took a slender paint brush and started on the edging work. “I only ran into her the once. One of those tight faced, model types, you know. Kinda bitchy, dismissive. I was relived to hear he divorced, a guy like that deserves better.”
Your mind was ticking away. Jensen had never mentioned a wife. Ex or otherwise. With your concussion, you steered clear of computers. Plus, something about looking up information about your friend on the internet seemed sleezy. Mean. Deceitful, even. And Jensen was that, he was your friend. No matter where things went with him, first and most importantly, he was your friend.
“Yeah, he deserves better.”
You spent the rest of the afternoon with Maddy and the kids. By the end of the day the dining room had received two coats of paint and the kids were successfully fed and down for a nap. Casey fussed a bit, but eventually settled. Maddy said both kids had been down with the flu a couple of weeks ago, but Casey hadn’t been able to shake it completely yet.
“It’s par for the parenting course,” the young mother explained. “The doctor says its because of her allergies. Always worse this time of year. Her father was the same way.”
“Poor kiddo,” you murmured. Something tickled at the back of your mind. You couldn’t quite shake it nor bring it to the surface. God, was that ever frustrating! Your only choice was to leave it be until it decided to let you remember it. Pushing yourself would only bring on a migraine.
You exchanged numbers with Maddy as she saw you to the door and promised to help her tackle the kitchen when the time came. That 70’s style linoleum had to go!
You were happier, lighter as you headed back to the apartment. You felt more normal than you had since waking up in the hospital. Today’s activities hadn’t been what you expected, but they were exactly what you needed. You could feel tentative hope blooming that perhaps you weren’t broken after all. There was a part of you that survived the accident after all. You still had the ability to make friends.
A part of you worried that although he said otherwise, Jensen was only interested in spending time with you because he felt guilty. But the afternoon with Maddy and her kids bolstered your confidence and worked to quiet those doubts.
There was a spring in your step by the time you got home. The smell of Grandma Ackles chili had your mouth watering the minute you opened the door. No wonder it was award winning. Your phone buzzed with a text from Jensen saying he’d be home in an hour. That left you just enough time to shower and change out of your rumpled clothes before dinner.
“Looks like someone’s in a good mood,” Jensen said, shrugging out of his leather jacket and tossing it on a one of the bar stools.
There was music flowing from the sound system and the kitchen table was set for two. You were wearing an outfit he had never seen before. A simple, soft sweater in light blue and a dark, denim skirt that hit mid-thigh. Those incredible legs of yours were encased in thermal tights that several of the ladies on set favored. You turned to him with a smile, your long hair was unbound and swung freely around your shoulders as you moved.
“I am in a good mood, had a good day.”
“Yeah?” he asked, as you handed him a beer.
You opened a bottle of water for yourself, “Yeah. It was a great day.”
And so the evening went. Lovely, normal, warm, homey. The two of you exchanged stories of how you spent your days. Jensen was thrilled to hear you’d made a new friend. He could see the difference in your posture, you were hopeful. And your laugh was back.
Sitting there with you, having dinner at the end of the day, fulfilled a fantasy that he’d kept buried deep down. It was so simple; most people took it for granted. It was the feeling of family. He was close to his family growing up, and still was in a lot of ways. But he wanted one of his own. A best friend to go through life with, a partner. Danneel was supposed to be that for him. It looked like it on the surface, but it never felt like it. Never felt like this.
Y/N listened intently as he told her mundane details of his day on set. It wasn’t nearly as exciting as it could be. No fight scenes, no big speeches. Pretty boring from his perspective. His ex-wife certainly would have thought so, but not you. You were fascinated. Maybe it was because you didn’t come from a Hollywood background like Danneel did. You thought it was the most magical thing you’d ever heard. It reminded Jensen of his first trip to a television set. He thought it was magical too. He’d forgotten that until now, and it felt good to be reminded of it. To be reminded of why he fell in love with the film industry to begin with.
The two of you had loaded the dishwasher and moved to the living room to unwind when the doorbell rang, followed by frantic knocking.
Jensen got to his feet and signaled for you to stay put when you went to follow him. It was late and no one ever came to the door without at least texting first. There was a flash of Dean in him at that moment, protective.
He looked through the peephole, then unlocked and opened the door. “Can I help you?”
From your place on the couch, you could hear familiar voices and you were quickly at his side, “Maddy? What’s wrong?”
Your new friend was frantic. Christopher was beside her, hiding behind her legs, while his sister wailed in her mother’s arms. “Y/N, hey I’m sorry to bother you. It’s Casey, her fever spiked, and I don’t know what’s going on.”
“Do you need to go to the E.R.? We’ll give you a ride,” Jensen offered, concern written all over his face.
“No, my sister is on her way. I’m know its short notice, but would you watch Chrissy?” Maddy asked, shifting Casey on her hip. “I have no idea how long this is going to take; I could be there all night and that’s torture on a five-year-old.”
“Yeah, of course,” you were already grabbing your shoes to head up to Maddy’s apartment.
“He can stay with us,” Jensen said without hesitation. “We’ve got it covered, no problem.”
The relief on Maddy’s face was instantaneous. “Really?! Oh, God, thank you so much! I owe you.”
“You don’t owe us anything,” you assured her and held out a hand to Christopher who threw himself into your arms. “Keep us posted, okay?”
“I will, thank you again!”
Jensen closed the door as Maddy disappeared down the hall and you stood with the toddler clinging to you.
“So…. Nintendo?” he suggested.
If you weren’t already completely charmed by Jensen Ackles before, you certainly were now. The man loved kids and it was adorable. He quickly won over the little boy with chocolate milk and his collection of remote-control cars. You had a suspicion that they weren’t meant for rough play, but Jensen didn’t seem to care. In fact, he was having a ball! He set up the living room and foyer as an elaborate racetrack and the three of you stood on the couch in your stocking feet while cars zipped around the floor. The floor, which was lava, of course.
After an hour or so, they moved on to the world of video games, which was housed in Jensen’s bedroom. You let the two of them hash it out, since your head was beginning to ache. Video games had that effect on concussions, so you sat back on the bed and watched with great amusement as Christopher beat Jensen at Mario cart.
After a few minutes, the bright colors and movement made the headache bad enough that you decided to go grab a couple of pain pills. You swung your legs over the side of the bed and a sharp, stabbing pain shot through your skull.
“Oh!” Your hand went to your temple, then it was gone. As suddenly as it had started, the pain left and in its place was a memory. The thought that had been tugging at you all afternoon finally broke through.
You didn’t notice Jensen was by your side until he touched your shoulder. “Y/N? You okay?”
“Yeah,” you breathed as you processed the new information that had just shaken loose.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I just remembered something. I’ll be right back.”
You pulled your phone from your pocket and went out into the hallway, leaving Jensen to keep an eye on your houseguest.
“Y/N?” Maddy answered, her voice slightly muffled by background noise from the hospital. “Is everything okay? Is Christopher alright?”
“He’s fine, I just thought of something. Have you seen the doctor yet?”
“They just took us back to one of the exam rooms now. This place is packed!”
“Okay listen, I noticed something about Casey earlier today, but it didn’t click with me until now. There is a dark ring around the iris of her eye, it’s called a Kayser-Fleischer ring. It’s caused by a buildup of copper deposits.”
Maddy was looking her child over on the other end of the line, after a moment she responded. “Yeah. Yeah, I see it.”
“Tell the doctor to check for Wilson’s disease. It’s a liver disorder. It’s rare, but treatable.”
“Wilson’s disease, got it. How are you so sure about this?”
“I don’t know,” you admitted, wishing you’d gotten more than just a flash of a magazine article to go on. “I don’t know. Call it instinct.”
Jensen looked up when you slipped back into the bedroom, “Everything alright?”
You returned to your spot on the bed and Christopher came up to cuddle beside you. You ran your hand over his hair in soothing gesture as your turned over the new information in your mind. You were relived and excited that something useful had broken through. Hopefully, it would help. You remembered that article word for word, if caught early on and monitored closely, people could live quite easily with it. Your gut said that would be the case for Casey.
“I was just checking in with Maddy. They’re fine, just waiting for the doctor.”
He nodded and looked down at the child who was snuggled into your side. Obviously, he had chosen his place to hunker down for the night and Jensen was more than okay with sharing his space. “Good. How about we wind down with a movie?”
“Toy Story,” Christopher piped up.
“Excellent choice,” you agreed.
A couple of hours later, the credits were rolling and the three of you were cuddled together in the center of the massive, king-sized bed. The kid conked out early on and you followed not long after. Jensen didn’t realize he had nodded off himself until the sound of your phone vibrating against the side table jolted him awake. He extracted himself from the cocoon of blankets and pillows and reached over you to grab the phone. You were a heavy sleeper and never even moved when he answered in a hushed tone.
“Maddy?”
“Jensen, hi. Sorry, I know its late.”
“No, it’s okay. Y/N and Chrissy are asleep, but I’m up. How’s Casey?”
“Better,” the young mother breathed, relief clear in her voice. “We’re on our way home now. Y/N was right. I still have to bring Casey back for tests in a few days just to be sure but, Y/N was on the money. The doctor didn’t even want to check, thought I was out of my mind. Thank god she saw it, I never even noticed!”
“Yeah,” Jensen murmured, looking down at your peaceful face. “Thank god.”
“Seriously though, how did she know about that disease? The doctor in the E.R. wasn’t even familiar with it.”
“I don’t know… she’s full of surprises. Listen, Chrissy is pretty comfortable here and you’ve had a hell of a night. Why don’t we keep him over-night and bring him home in the morning?”
“Oh my god, are you sure? I don’t want to put you out.”
“It’s no problem, he’s a great kid.”
“It’s official, you are my new favorite neighbor! Thank you, Jensen. Seriously, you’ve been great. And tell Y/N thanks, I’m so grateful I met her today!”
Jensen smiled as he hung up the phone and put it back on the charger. He settled back down into the bed and pulled the covers over the three of you. God, he’d had fun with you and the kid tonight. Until you came into his life, he was never around long enough to get to know any of his neighbors. It felt incredibly good to be a part of the community, even in this small way and he had you to thank for it. Maddy had it right. Grateful was exactly how he felt as he drifted off to sleep. Grateful he’d met you. Grateful you’d stuck around. Grateful you were curled up beside him, even with a child sandwiched in the middle.
The mystery of who you were was slowly unfolding as more fragments of your memories came through. And he was grateful to be at your side, witnessing the slow reveal of the most beautiful woman he’d ever met.
#dean x reader#dean winchester fanfiction#dean x y/n#dean x you#dean winchester#jensen ackles#jensen x reader#jensen x y/n#spn fic#supernatural#Nightingale
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Wait, that was a stupid question. We already are. Then, my actual ask is, what's your favorite pass time? Like what do you do when ur not on Tumblr??
Let me think. Mostly play video games honestly. DS, 2DS XL, Switch and after I move I'll have my Wii U and GameCube to play games on.
I will sometimes draw and paint, most general art. I do write fanfiction and write stories I hope to be published one day. These are all pretty rare since ADHD and fatigue kick my butt most days.
I watch mostly YouTube as of right now. Typically the gaming side of things with like Markiplier, Call Me Kevin, RTGame, Alpharad, stuff like that, but I watch a variety of content.
I'm on my phone a lot. I mostly just check fandoms for my special interests like the Splatoon subreddit or scrolling on here. Or just checking news.
I'm in the process of moving rn so I've been busy organizing some stuff and putting stuff away.
The only show I really watch right now is Bluey just cause I'm a traumatized individual lol, but I'll get with my friend MA on call and we'll watch videos or shows together. Like, we're trying to watch the rest of The Owl House, but with her busy schedule and not getting home till like 9 pm my time, yeah, we don't really got time to do that.
It really does just boil down to mostly video games and watching something and focusing on taking care of my body since disabilities and unable to get help for em thanks to financial stuff and relying on my parents. So I pretty much just spend time in my room, chatting with my friend MA and my girlfriend, watching stuff which is whatever I feel like, playing video games, and working on the boxing stuff up part of moving when I can. I also love reading, but I have a lot of books I bought for my trauma so they can emotionally exhaust me 😅
My favorite past time is def video games and watching stuff that seems so cool to me. For instance, watching speed runs or Mario Kaizo stuff. Since my hands don't respond well, I could not do a lot of it though I do want to get into speed running one day, so I love watching these people do things I cannot do. I love commentary side of YouTube. I love video essays on stuff I would normally not care about or stuff I haven't thought about in a long time, especially when it comes to lore of pieces of media that I will never care about. I have a wide variety of games and game systems to play, I'll also often play with my friend MA when we get the chance. So those are definitely my favorites. Just doing stuff that lets me relax, turn off my brain, or watch something that will make me almost die of laughter. I've played video games since as long as I can remember, starting with like educational kids games on the computer before I could even read. So they've always been a big comfort for me and a big part of my life and I love to challenge myself now with them and explore a variety of different games.
One thing I wanna get back into is Legos at some point. I miss building with Legos and so probably for a holiday or something or if I can save up for it, I'll just buy myself a nice Lego set to build.
I rambled a lot cause my thoughts are very disjointed, but I hope that gave ya an idea of what I do. I mostly play on my switch these days since it's the easiest for my to access. With my set up in my room, it's difficult to play the Wii and GameCube without back problems or the Wii remote struggling with the sensor bar + I'm moving so I'm getting them packed away. And then for my DS's, it's just I don't keep em charged honestly 😅 though I am actually playing Leaf Green on my DS right now so yay, I finally charged one lol. But yeah, that's pretty much all I do :p with video games and YouTube being the most prominent. I also mostly talk to MA and my gf a lot of the time. They're both long distance so texting is our main way to communicate since we can't just like hang out. But yeah, that's pretty much it. I'm gonna stop now lol. It's basically just whatever I hyperfixate on most of the time.
Edit: Pffft, just remembered. I roleplay with MA a lot. Mostly just comfort roleplays for both of us. I used to roleplay a lot and even had an Envy (fullmetal alchemist brotherhood) roleplay account, but gave it up cause of how fandoms can be and just some personal reasons and anxiety around interacting with people. I do that about just as much, when MA is free of course.
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not helpful for people who do not have a library nearby but if you do, please consider getting a library card. i got one impulsively after seeing a tumblr post like this one (lol). library cards are free, and once you have one, you gain access not only to physical books, but movies, TV shows, video games, and of course, digital books.
mine, personally, is connected to every other library in the county, so there is a HUGE online catalog. just massive. you can go to any of these libraries in person, or you can request a book from one library and have it delivered to your local one to go pick it up. and it’s free! all of it is free!
having a library card and checking out items helps your local library and the surrounding community. and if you have items you’re willing/able to donate, you can make those materials accessible for the other people in your region.
now i know some people will be like “but jay, I don’t read books, and I can just pirate stuff, or play the games I already have access to. why library?”
but here’s the thing. I had not read for fun since I was a child. i hated reading books. i’d space out constantly. it physically hurt to hold a book in my hands (neck and wrist pain). and a kindle wasn’t any better.
so what i did was, first of all, was pick a subject that interested me. i’m a gay trans man, and I’ve always felt alienated by being surrounded by cishet-heavy media, and I also wanted to learn more about my community’s past. so I was going to be looking at fiction and non-fiction books in the LGBT category.
then i picked the genre. reading poetry, which is small, digestible bites of text, and graphic novels, which are image-heavy, would help ease me back into reading. a warm-up for longer pieces.
then format. I wanted to have a physical book in my hands. having a physical book taking up space would remind me that I had to read it and return it.
but physical books were hard! so I bought two adaptive devices that, when used together, greatly reduced the amount of pain i was in while reading. i’ve spoken about them before
i also got myself a set of magnetic bookmarks. i find that these are the most useful, as they remain fixed to the page and aren’t clunky. and also, when not in use, you can stick them to a fridge or another metal surface
once I had all of that figured out, I looked for specific books, read reviews, and organized the content into lists. one for poems, one for graphic novels, one for non-fiction, one for fiction.
i started out with two poetry books and the first volume (out of four) of a manga. I found that I took to reading pretty quickly, and I enjoyed the experience even when I wasn’t fond of the content. one poetry book left me making a lot of commentary, out loud, as one would when watching a bad movie. and weirdly enough? i had fun doing this. the other poetry book, though, made me burst into tears, in a good way.
once i knew I could handle reading, I just... dove right in. I’m 20% of the way through a 550 page fiction novel right now. if you told me a couple of months ago I’d be doing that, I’d look at you like you had five heads. i have a spotify playlist with instrumental music i listen to help set the scene, just as one would when playing DND, and this helps me block out the outside world and keep focus, so that helps substantially.
this book is not a library book, however, so I am taking a break from it to read the two library books i have at the moment: a history book and a manga volume. when i am finished reading the novel, i plan to donate it to the library. i also plan to do the same thing with other gaps in my library’s catalog. buy the book, read it, donate it.
anyway, give the library a try, if you can. especially if you’re marginalized in any way. hell, i have found 4 separate books JUST on the intersection of being trans and autistic. you may not find everything you are looking for, but you may find something that makes you feel less alone in the world, something that resonates with you
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i've resigned myself to the fact that i just won't manage to read most of my reading list
#the majority of the books cost £25#and they say that you can find them in your local or school library#but my school library obviously no longer lends books to me bc i've left#whilst my local library has approximately 2 classics books#+ the library system (all 12-ish libraries) only has about £20 in total#least of all these relatively specialist texts#and anyway i don't want to buy recommended reading#especially when i have to buy all of my set texts and their commentaries#apparently they're all available for free on the vle#but we don't get our login for it until like mid to late september#anyway i'm angry bc this uni claims to be accessible#but i'm pretty well off and i simply cannot afford to prepare as they want me to#so imagine what it's like to not have disposable income#hnnnnnn#it costs £300 to buy the entire reading list#+ i've been to some pretty big and pretty specialist book shops and i've still struggled to even find the books#like foyles in london only stocks 1 of them??????
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Guide to Writing Dark Fantasy
Patreon || Ko-Fi || Masterlist || Work In Progress
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What Is “Dark” Fantasy?
Dark Fantasy subscribes to the tropes and conventions of fantasy, while mixing in elements of the horror, thriller, and sometimes dystopia. Loosely, the magical elements of fantasy take a gloomier, more frightening turn. Dark fantasy is not simply “fantasy, but make it sexy or gory”. (I’m talking to those who cite Game of Thrones as an example of the genre.)
Yes, a lot of authors choose to incorporate heavier subject matter into dark fantasy stories, but things like rape and copious amounts of gore and death are not genre-defining. Darkness exists in every adult story, even if it’s only in symbolism, but the darkness in this sub-genre specifically persists throughout each scene and coats every element. This includes character development, plot development, world building, etc.
Death Still Has to Mean Something
Something you have to understand about dark fantasy is that death can be a tool, but the nature of the genre shouldn’t make it any less impactful. When a side character or an extra gets killed, it should affect the reader emotionally, even if death is very common. If the death isn’t going to surprise them, it should unease or upset the reader. Death should never serve the purpose of filling space.
Incorporate The Horrific
A lot of dark fantasy authors and writers have trouble or fail to incorporate the dark elements in a rounded, even manner. A lot of authors go for the “show the reader something undoubtedly tragic or traumatizing and the tone will endure” or the “if I sporadically kill characters for no apparent reason throughout the plot, the reader will stay disturbed and none will be the wiser”.
The Villain Is The Key
The antagonist must be complex and compelling, and you have to use them well. Dark fantasy is a genre which depends on a fantastic villain or antagonist. It’s wise to create an antagonist whom the reader can understand, but who is severely misguided or obviously facing their own demons. Stories with a standard “I’m evil because my mommy didn’t love me” or “The world has been unkind to me so let there be fire” villain is outdated and, at this point, you have all the opportunity in the world to do better.
If there’s one place where you should invest your creativity, make it the antagonist.
The Darkness Is In Everything
Incorporating horrific things into fantasy is what makes this genre, true, but it has to be a consistent effort and an author must play the long-game. The darkness has to penetrate your word choice, the way you deliver new information in the text, the way you build up to important events, etc. The horror shouldn’t just spurt out every couple of chapters. You want to create a dark atmosphere, and an atmosphere must stretch beyond one or two scenes here and there.
Flawed vs. Unlikeable
This is a major downfall of a lot of dark fantasy works. It’s difficult to create a character whose flaws are so integral to the storytelling without making them unlikeable, but if you don’t toe this line carefully, your readers will put the story down. Yes, the character must be flawed and complex, and there are no heroes in the situation, but if there’s nobody to have hope for, then the reader will abandon the story. Nobody wants to sit and watch something that is sad and frustrating for the sake of depressing themselves. Well, some do, but not enough to convince someone there’s a market for your story.
Common Struggles
~ How do you craft a dark fantasy ending?... Not all pessimistic stories have to have a pessimistic ending. You can give your characters a positive outcome (or even just somewhat positive) without sacrificing the work you’ve done to maintain the genre’s tone and message. Most dark fantasy is about topics that are larger than the story itself, such as equality (in many aspects), existence, freedom vs. security, society vs. individuality, etc. Dark fantasy tends to branch off from the typical fantasy in terms of messaging because incorporating darker aspects of reality forces the reader to face harsher truths. Make your ending about what you want the reader to walk away with, and you should have no problem figuring out how to do it.
~ How do you warn readers of possible triggers in non-fanfiction works?... Simply put, market your story honestly. Disclose any especially dark elements, and when advertising on platforms such as social media, perhaps provide an official disclaimer. The manner in which you warn readers of possible triggers is up to your own and whatever marketing team you have’s discretion.
~ How do you research dark topics while writing?... With purpose, caution, and practicality. I see a lot of posts that cover very tiny details that may go into fantasy, and while I encourage research of all kinds for every genre, I think fantasy is one where writers can get so caught up in getting every minute detail researched and recorded that they get burned out with their own ideas before they even put pen to paper. Research what you missed, then find holes as you write, and then do the rest of the research for the second draft once you’re finished with the first. Avoid burnout that comes with extensive research beforehand.
~ How do common fantasy tropes interact with darker aspects of the sub-genre?... There’s a lot of ways you can mix typical fantasy with typical horror/thriller and come out with dark fantasy. The main fantasy characteristics that persist in dark fantasy are setting and the way magic systems are executed in the story. Secondly, I see a lot of similarities in general world building. Where it deviates, I think, is in character development, plot structure, plot development, and messaging. The smaller events tend to be more mature, the character arcs turn more raw, the characters themselves are more flawed, and the plot develops in a much less linear fashion. The messages are heavier because the content is heavier.
Other Resources
Resources For Fantasy/Mythology Writers
20 Mistakes To Avoid in Fantasy
Guide to Writing Fantasy
Guide to Story Researching
Commentary on Social Issues In Writing
On Writing About Sensitive Topics
Resources For Writing Royalty
Dark Quotes & Prompts
Angst Prompts
31 Days of Character Development : May 2018 Writing Challenge
Suspenseful Prompts
Sad Prompts
31 Days of World Building : August 2018 Writing Challenge
31 Days of Plot Development : January 2019 Writing Challenge
31 Days of Horror : October 2019 Writing Challenge
Resources For Creating Characters
Giving Your Protagonists Negative Traits
Writing Good Villains
Showing Vulnerability Without Death
Giving Characters Flaws
Creating Villains
Flipping Character Traits On Their Head
“Male characters are more relatable”
Tips on Character Motivations
Tips on Character Consistency
Resources For Plot Development
Guide To Plot Development
How To Write A Good Plot Twist
How To Foreshadow
Plot Structures
Describing Setting
Resources For Worldbuilding
Guide To Political World Building
Creating Diverse Otherworld Characters
Tips on Creating Magic Systems
Tips on Introducing Political Backstory
Resources For Writing (Global) Period Pieces : High Middle Ages & Renaissance
Resources For Writing (Global) Period Pieces : 1600s
Resources For Writing (Global) Period Pieces : 1700s
Resources For Writing (Global) Period Pieces : 1800s
Tips on Writing Fight Scenes
Tips on Writing Chase Scenes
How To Make The Journey Interesting
Tips For Horror Writers
Tips on Writing Pyschological Thrillers
10 Mistakes to Avoid in Horror
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Masterlist | WIP Blog
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#writing#writeblr#fantasy#dark fantasy#fantasy writing#writing advice#writing help#writing tips#writing resources#resources for writers#writing reference#guide to writing
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Nightingale
Chapter Six: Welcome to the Neighborhood
Summary: Jensen Ackles seemed to have it all. A hit television series fifteen years running, a budding music career and a stunning wife. To the casual observer, his life was perfect. But it was a façade. No more real than the supernatural world created on a soundstage.
That day on the lake had started with uncertainty, but when he pulled you from the water everything became clear. The truth was, he’d been the one drowning.
Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader, Jensen x Reader, Jensen x You
Characters: Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki, Genevieve Padalecki, Misha Collins, Reader
Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Hospitals, Drowning, Fluff, Angst, Smut, unprotected sex
Chapter Six: Welcome to the Neighborhood
Word Count: 5394
Author’s Notes: This is a complete work of fiction about a real life person. The circumstances are totally made up and are in no way a commentary on the fantastic Jensen Ackles or his family.
This is also a unique reader insert story as I have given the reader a physical description including hair color, eye color and body type. Hopefully you can still lose yourself in the utter fantasy where Jensen is the hero and you are ripe for rescuing!
Additional Notes: The response to this story has been beyond my expectations! You guys have been the best! Thank you for continuing to read my work and encourage me, its kept my eye on the prize :)
Series Masterlist
It had been three days since Jensen sent you on that shopping trip and he hadn’t seen you since. Not in person, anyway. There was evidence that you were still in the apartment, dishes he used for breakfast were always put away clean by the time he got home at night. He heard your shower running one morning and he noticed the laundry was still being done. Life on set kept him busy, but he was still able to text back and forth with you. You always responded. Your answers were pleasant, but brief.
He was certain something was wrong, but he couldn’t for the life of him figure out what it was. He had his suspicions that something had happened on the day you went to the department store. His bank sent him a text alert when the final charge went through, and it was far less than he expected it to be. Clif told him you’d been fine on the ride home, maybe a little tired. It didn’t make any sense and it was driving him crazy. Which meant he was driving everyone else crazy, especially Jared.
“Something is wrong.”
Jared didn’t look up from his phone, he’d heard the same thing from his co-star for days. “We’ve got a few minutes, why don’t you give her a call?”
“Nah, I want to talk in person. Its just our schedules don’t seem to match up.”
“She’s recovering from a concussion,” Jared pointed out. “She doesn’t have a schedule.”
“She’s got a sleep schedule. You know how hard it is with us, we work all kind of weird hours.” Jensen picked at the edges of his paper coffee cup, a nervous habit. “I never paid it much attention before, you know Dee was never around for filming. I’m sure its nothing, it just feels like she’s avoiding me.”
The mention of the ex-wife broke through Jared’s annoyance. Jensen looked like a dejected puppy and Jared had a soft spot for puppies. “Look, I’ve got a later call time tomorrow. Why don’t we switch some things around, I’ll shoot my stuff first?”
“Nah, don’t worry about it. I’m probably making a bigger deal out of it than it is. It just feels weird because we spent so much time together before work started back up.”
Jared’s eyes narrowed in speculation as a sudden thought struck, “You’re avoiding her.”
Jensen scoffed and tossed his cup in the garbage, “What did I just say?”
“Nuh huh, I don’t buy it. You are direct to a fault, if you wanted to talk to her, you would. You’re waiting for her to come to you, why?”
“Because I don’t want to push,” Jensen finally admitted. “Obviously, I’ve done something or misread things. I don’t want to make it worse.”
“Talking is not going to make it worse. And if you did do something to piss her off, apologize.” Jared waggled his eyebrows, “Turn on that Winchester charm, I’m sure she’ll forgive you.”
“You’re an idiot,” Jensen deadpanned.
“We’re switching call times,” Jared retorted. “I can’t take another day of unrequited drama.”
He was in the kitchen when you waltzed in at 7:30 with a duffle bag over your shoulder. The buds were blasting in your ears, so you didn’t hear him say good morning to you three times. When you finally glanced up and saw a figure holding a cup of coffee you let out a scream so loud, they probably heard it in the lobby.
Jensen immediately set down the cup and held up a hand in surrender, “Whoa, easy… hey, it’s just me!”
You rubbed a hand over your racing heart, “Christ on a cracker!”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he apologized, while silently chiding himself.
You laughed, knowing you must have looked ridiculous. “No, it’s okay. I thought you were already at work.”
“Yeah, I’ve got a later call time today, so I can have a lazy morning.” He said, taking up his coffee again. “Which means I’ve got time to make a real breakfast, pancakes and everything. You game?”
He gave you a dazzling smile and you nearly melted. No one had a right to look that good first thing in the morning. Perhaps it was not seeing him for days that made it so much more apparent. Already showered and shaved, but still in his track pants and t-shirt. He looked much like he did during the week he spent taking care of you. Suddenly, all you wanted to do was curl up with him on the couch. Spend the day wrapped up in his arms, warm and safe from the uncertainties that kept you up at night.
My GOD he smells good! I wonder if he’s as good at kissing in real life as he is on t.v.? He must be, look at his mouth… and his hands.
“Oh no. No thank you, I’ve got a class at the club.”
“Oh,” he tried to keep the disappointment from his voice. “The health club downstairs?”
You looked down at your running suit that encased your body in navy blue and pink lycra. “Yeah, I’ve been itching to go to the gym. I think I used to quite a bit before the accident. My body’s been missing it.”
Judging by the way that suit hugged your curves, Jensen doubted your body was missing anything. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? I don’t want you getting hurt.”
“Actually, I’m taking one of the classes for seniors. I talked with one of the physical therapists down there and he helped me find something low impact.” You laughed a little, “I’m the youngest person by like forty years. Mrs. Hudson keeps trying to set me up with her grandson.”
“Mrs. Hudson?”
“She lives on the fifth floor, has a toy poodle named Mitzi and she is a huge Supernatural fan. Like, obsessed.”
“You don’t say,” he smiled a bit. “She want an autograph?”
“Yeah, but not yours.” You grinned, “Misha’s.”
He rolled his eyes, “Typical.”
“She also offered me a hundred bucks for a sneak peak at the plot for this season. I told her I’d think about it.”
“If she goes up to two hundred let me know, we can split it and go somewhere nice.”
You both laughed softly then fell into an awkward silence.
“Y/N, is everything okay?”
Your reply was quick. “Yeah, everything’s fine.”
“I know with my schedule and everything, we haven’t had much time to talk. It just seems like there’s something bothering you.”
When you finally looked up with your big, blue eyes, he knew he was right. He saw the uncertainty in your gaze, and it worried him. There was something you weren’t saying. What could he have done to lose your trust?
“Sweetheart, tell me. Is it me? Did I do something or say something to upset you?”
“No, no.” You sighed. The last thing you wanted was to worry him or anyone else. But Jensen was a persistent man, once he caught wind of something, he wouldn’t just let it go. It never occurred to you that he’d blame himself.
“Did something happen on that shopping trip? Did they not have what you needed?”
“No! They were all great, really. Thank you again, it was lovely.”
He gave a slight shake of his head, there was that slightly cool politeness. Rigid and formal. Not like you at all. “I kinda expected you to spend a little more, I mean… are you sure it was okay?”
“I got all the essentials, Jay. I didn’t need anything extravagant.”
“It was supposed to be fun; you know. A treat. Extravagant is part of the package.”
You didn’t reply to that. You knew he would only feel badly if you told him how that trip made you feel dirty. That you were worried that your presence in his life was being misinterpreted by pretty much everyone. That you were worried that deep down, that you were just not worthy of someone like him. Not as you are. Broken.
Jensen knew he couldn’t force you to confide in him. It wasn’t fair to push you just to satisfy his own doubts. “I don’t want you to be late to your class so, maybe I’ll see you later, okay?”
He was letting you off the hook. Giving you a chance to make a hasty escape. If you had a brain in your head, you’d take it. But you couldn’t just ignore the poorly masked hurt in his eyes. Somehow, he got it into his head that this was his fault, and you couldn’t just let him sit with that.
“You haven’t done anything wrong, Jay. You’ve been amazing. I just feel like I should be doing something. I want to contribute.”
“All you need to focus on is recovering. Don’t worry about the money thing, I know people get a little weird about it, but it’s not a big deal.”
“That’s not what I mean.” You crossed your arms over your stomach as you leaned against the counter. “I feel this pull to be active, to help people. I don’t know what I used to do for a living or even what I’m good at. I just know I have to try. There must be something I can do to be useful in the world.”
“Y/N, you’ve got a heart the size of Texas. I’m not surprised that you want to help people. And you should follow that feeling, but you gotta walk before you run.”
You gave a small smile, “Why do you think I’m in geriatric aerobics? I still get tired and my stamina is crap. I’m trying to build up my strength. Maybe I’ll stumble upon a forgotten talent.”
“I’m sure you will.” Jensen studied you for a moment, there was still a bit of tension in your posture. Your beautiful eyes were still a little guarded. He was certain there was more to it but decided to drop it for now.
“You should get going, don’t want to be late for class.”
“Yeah,” you picked up the forgotten gym bag and headed for the door. “Hey, um… do you think you’ll have a late night tonight?”
“Actually, I’ve got a light schedule. I’ll probably get out of there at a decent time.”
“Well, maybe we could have supper,” you suggested, chewing on your lower lip. “I saw a Tupperware in the back of the freezer that said Five Alarm.”
Jensen let out low whistle, “Oh, I don’t know Y/N. That’s Grandma Ackles award winning, Five Alarm Chili, it would burn the pants off a little lady like you.”
You scoffed, “If you can take it, I can take it.”
“I’m a Texan. I was born breaking horses and breathing fire.” He laid it on thick, exaggerating his accent. When he added a wink, you turned red.
“Shut up,” you laughed, shaking your head. The man was too cute, and he knew it.
“Alright, alright. I’ll start the crockpot and get the Pepto on standby.”
There was such softness in his green gaze as it flickered over your face. This wasn’t the first time a moment like this stretched out between the two of you. He said so much with those eyes of his, you swore you could feel the caress of them on your soul. Yet, he held back, closing his hands into loose fists at his sides. The warmth in his eyes turned uncertain and in that moment all you wanted to do was reassure him.
Your doubts quieted just long enough for your instincts called the shots. You stepped forward and wrapped him in a tight hug.
Jensen immediately reciprocated, his strong arms coming around you, holding you close. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply. This felt right. You felt right. Every time he had you in his arms, he felt something settle in his heart. You felt like home, it was that simple.
“You should get going,” he breathed, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “You don’t want to worry Mrs. Hudson.”
You felt tingly. Warm and fuzzy, all the way down to the soles of your shoes. No wonder Dean Winchester was so popular, the man portraying him was everything a woman could possibly want. Kind, strong, handsome, and funny. Hard working and generous. You had a long way to go if you were going to be worthy of a man like that. Better get started.
“Yeah, you’re right. See you for dinner?”
“It’s a date.”
You were still floating when you stepped into the elevator. You were no closer to answering the million questions you had about yourself, but you felt more centered. More sure of yourself and your path forward. Jensen always managed to help ground you and settle the doubts buzzing in your brain. That was just part of his magic.
The elevator paused after just a couple of floors, stopping to pick up another passenger. The doors slid open to reveal a small child. A little boy with shiny, black hair and a Buzz Lightyear doll clutched in his arms.
“Hey there,” you smiled, looking around for the adult who must be close by. “Are you lost?”
He didn’t say anything, but his big, brown eyes welled with tears as he hugged his doll even tighter.
You stepped out of the elevator and crouched down to his level. Poor little guy’s terrified.
“Is your mom around? Or your dad?” Getting no answer and seeing no worried parent around you tried another approach. “Do you live on this floor?”
This time he shrugged.
“A lot of these hallways look alike, huh? I get a little lost myself… say, do you know that big, fancy fountain downstairs? The one with the lights and the fish?”
His brown eyes grew wide, and he nodded. Jackpot, kids love those koi fish.
“Well, there is a really nice lady at the desk right by that fountain. She knows everyone in this building and knows where we all live. I bet if we ask her really nice, she will help us out.” You stood and held your hand out to him, “What do you say?”
Keeping Buzz in one arm, he grabbed your hand tightly and rode down to the lobby by your side.
His name was Christopher, and his frantic mother was already at the reception desk. The squirming toddler on her hip squealed and reached out when she saw you walking towards them.
“Mama!” Christopher tugged out of your hand and ran as fast as his little legs could carry him across the lobby.
“Christopher!” The mother dropped to her knees, scooping him up along with his sister. From the muffled, relieved scolding, you pieced together that he’d been playing hide and seek with his sibling and got a little too creative.
“You scared me to death!”
“I’m sorry Mama,” he cried into her shoulder.
You picked up the discarded doll and gave the frazzled mother a smile, “There’s no harm done. We just took a little elevator ride. I’m Y/N, by the way.”
“Maddy,” she replied. She allowed her children to slide to the floor but kept a hold of their hands. “Thank you so much… I swear these two will be the death of me!”
You looked a little more closely at the pair, they were like a matched set. Same height, same facial features, eye color, hair. One boy and one girl. “Twins?”
“Christopher and Casey. When they turned four, they figured out how to bypass the Netflix password and open any locked door. I think they’re bent on world domination.”
You laughed and noticed the tiny paint splatters in Maddy’s clothes and across her face. She wore old overalls with ripped knees, rolled up at the ankle and a faded bandana keeping her hair up. Her bare feet were paint splattered too, she obviously just ran out of her apartment in a hurry.
Middle of a project. Hyper, bored kids. Single mom?
“Would you like some help?”
Turns out you were right. Madison “Maddy” Montgomery was a single mother of five-year-old twins. Christopher and Casey. Her ex, Jake, was a military man who valued his career more than his wife and kids. He still kept in touch, but really had no interest in raising a family. A year ago, she moved to Vancouver to be closer to her sister and have a fresh start.
“So, what happened to your face? You owe money to the mob?”
“Boating accident,” you replied, loading your roller with paint. “I zigged when I should have zagged.”
Maddy rolled out a heavy drop cloth over the hardwood floors of her dining room. “Rookie mistake. So, what do you do when you’re not wrangling wayward toddlers?”
“Well, today I do this.”
“No kids of your own, huh? What do you do for a living?”
“Ah, well, I’m not really sure.”
“Identity crisis?” Maddy guessed.
You kept your attention on applying paint evenly. Part of you wanted to just gloss over the details of your life, keep the conversation light. After all, it was a pretty strange set of circumstances. Instead, you decided to take a leap of faith and be honest.
“Sort of. Amnesia.”
Maddy paused mid-way through taping off the woodwork. “Whoa, seriously?”
Before you knew it, the whole story came tumbling out. It was such a relief to share it with someone. The aerobics group only knew cursory details about your injuries and physical limitations. Jensen and Jared knew and were great, of course. But this was the first time you actually told someone about it. A perfect stranger, until an hour ago.
“Wow. Y/N, that’s… that’s intense. So, you have no idea who you are. Where you’re from, you’re family. Nothing?”
“No. Not really, just my first name and a couple of random memories.”
“That’s…. wow. That must be terrifying.”
“Sometimes,” you admitted. “Mostly, its frustrating. Thank God for Jensen, he helps keep me from spiraling out of control.”
A look of wide-eyed recognition crossed Maddy’s face. “Wait, Jensen Ackles? Your dashing hero is the super hottie in the penthouse?”
You stole a look over shoulder, “Yes?”
Maddy laughed then, “Girl!”
“Do you know him?” you asked casually.
“Not like you do, obviously,” Maddy teased. “I’ve met him in passing a couple of times, he helped me carry in groceries. Super sweet guy and gorgeous. My sister watches that show of his religiously.”
“Yeah, I’ve gotten into it recently myself.”
“You don’t say?”
“Shut up,” you grinned, unable to stop yourself.
“I heard he was back on the market, finally got rid of that ball and chain.”
“He was married?”
“You weren’t kidding about that amnesia, huh?” Maddy took a slender paint brush and started on the edging work. “I only ran into her the once. One of those tight faced, model types, you know. Kinda bitchy, dismissive. I was relived to hear he divorced, a guy like that deserves better.”
Your mind was ticking away. Jensen had never mentioned a wife. Ex or otherwise. With your concussion, you steered clear of computers. Plus, something about looking up information about your friend on the internet seemed sleezy. Mean. Deceitful, even. And Jensen was that, he was your friend. No matter where things went with him, first and most importantly, he was your friend.
“Yeah, he deserves better.”
You spent the rest of the afternoon with Maddy and the kids. By the end of the day the dining room had received two coats of paint and the kids were successfully fed and down for a nap. Casey fussed a bit, but eventually settled. Maddy said both kids had been down with the flu a couple of weeks ago, but Casey hadn’t been able to shake it completely yet.
“It’s par for the parenting course,” the young mother explained. “The doctor says its because of her allergies. Always worse this time of year. Her father was the same way.”
“Poor kiddo,” you murmured. Something tickled at the back of your mind. You couldn’t quite shake it nor bring it to the surface. God, was that ever frustrating! Your only choice was to leave it be until it decided to let you remember it. Pushing yourself would only bring on a migraine.
You exchanged numbers with Maddy as she saw you to the door and promised to help her tackle the kitchen when the time came. That 70’s style linoleum had to go!
You were happier, lighter as you headed back to the apartment. You felt more normal than you had since waking up in the hospital. Today’s activities hadn’t been what you expected, but they were exactly what you needed. You could feel tentative hope blooming that perhaps you weren’t broken after all. There was a part of you that survived the accident after all. You still had the ability to make friends.
A part of you worried that although he said otherwise, Jensen was only interested in spending time with you because he felt guilty. But the afternoon with Maddy and her kids bolstered your confidence and worked to quiet those doubts.
There was a spring in your step by the time you got home. The smell of Grandma Ackles chili had your mouth watering the minute you opened the door. No wonder it was award winning. Your phone buzzed with a text from Jensen saying he’d be home in an hour. That left you just enough time to shower and change out of your rumpled clothes before dinner.
“Looks like someone’s in a good mood,” Jensen said, shrugging out of his leather jacket and tossing it on a one of the bar stools.
There was music flowing from the sound system and the kitchen table was set for two. You were wearing an outfit he had never seen before. A simple, soft sweater in light blue and a dark, denim skirt that hit mid-thigh. Those incredible legs of yours were encased in thermal tights that several of the ladies on set favored. You turned to him with a smile, your long hair was unbound and swung freely around your shoulders as you moved.
“I am in a good mood, had a good day.”
“Yeah?” he asked, as you handed him a beer.
You opened a bottle of water for yourself, “Yeah. It was a great day.”
And so the evening went. Lovely, normal, warm, homey. The two of you exchanged stories of how you spent your days. Jensen was thrilled to hear you’d made a new friend. He could see the difference in your posture, you were hopeful. And your laugh was back.
Sitting there with you, having dinner at the end of the day, fulfilled a fantasy that he’d kept buried deep down. It was so simple; most people took it for granted. It was the feeling of family. He was close to his family growing up, and still was in a lot of ways. But he wanted one of his own. A best friend to go through life with, a partner. Danneel was supposed to be that for him. It looked like it on the surface, but it never felt like it. Never felt like this.
Y/N listened intently as he told her mundane details of his day on set. It wasn’t nearly as exciting as it could be. No fight scenes, no big speeches. Pretty boring from his perspective. His ex-wife certainly would have thought so, but not you. You were fascinated. Maybe it was because you didn’t come from a Hollywood background like Danneel did. You thought it was the most magical thing you’d ever heard. It reminded Jensen of his first trip to a television set. He thought it was magical too. He’d forgotten that until now, and it felt good to be reminded of it. To be reminded of why he fell in love with the film industry to begin with.
The two of you had loaded the dishwasher and moved to the living room to unwind when the doorbell rang, followed by frantic knocking.
Jensen got to his feet and signaled for you to stay put when you went to follow him. It was late and no one ever came to the door without at least texting first. There was a flash of Dean in him at that moment, protective.
He looked through the peephole, then unlocked and opened the door. “Can I help you?”
From your place on the couch, you could hear familiar voices and you were quickly at his side, “Maddy? What’s wrong?”
Your new friend was frantic. Christopher was beside her, hiding behind her legs, while his sister wailed in her mother’s arms. “Y/N, hey I’m sorry to bother you. It’s Casey, her fever spiked, and I don’t know what’s going on.”
“Do you need to go to the E.R.? We’ll give you a ride,” Jensen offered, concern written all over his face.
“No, my sister is on her way. I’m know its short notice, but would you watch Chrissy?” Maddy asked, shifting Casey on her hip. “I have no idea how long this is going to take; I could be there all night and that’s torture on a five-year-old.”
“Yeah, of course,” you were already grabbing your shoes to head up to Maddy’s apartment.
“He can stay with us,” Jensen said without hesitation. “We’ve got it covered, no problem.”
The relief on Maddy’s face was instantaneous. “Really?! Oh, God, thank you so much! I owe you.”
“You don’t owe us anything,” you assured her and held out a hand to Christopher who threw himself into your arms. “Keep us posted, okay?”
“I will, thank you again!”
Jensen closed the door as Maddy disappeared down the hall and you stood with the toddler clinging to you.
“So…. Nintendo?” he suggested.
If you weren’t already completely charmed by Jensen Ackles before, you certainly were now. The man loved kids and it was adorable. He quickly won over the little boy with chocolate milk and his collection of remote-control cars. You had a suspicion that they weren’t meant for rough play, but Jensen didn’t seem to care. In fact, he was having a ball! He set up the living room and foyer as an elaborate racetrack and the three of you stood on the couch in your stocking feet while cars zipped around the floor. The floor, which was lava, of course.
After an hour or so, they moved on to the world of video games, which was housed in Jensen’s bedroom. You let the two of them hash it out, since your head was beginning to ache. Video games had that effect on concussions, so you sat back on the bed and watched with great amusement as Christopher beat Jensen at Mario cart.
After a few minutes, the bright colors and movement made the headache bad enough that you decided to go grab a couple of pain pills. You swung your legs over the side of the bed and a sharp, stabbing pain shot through your skull.
“Oh!” Your hand went to your temple, then it was gone. As suddenly as it had started, the pain left and in its place was a memory. The thought that had been tugging at you all afternoon finally broke through.
You didn’t notice Jensen was by your side until he touched your shoulder. “Y/N? You okay?”
“Yeah,” you breathed as you processed the new information that had just shaken loose.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I just remembered something. I’ll be right back.”
You pulled your phone from your pocket and went out into the hallway, leaving Jensen to keep an eye on your houseguest.
“Y/N?” Maddy answered, her voice slightly muffled by background noise from the hospital. “Is everything okay? Is Christopher alright?”
“He’s fine, I just thought of something. Have you seen the doctor yet?”
“They just took us back to one of the exam rooms now. This place is packed!”
“Okay listen, I noticed something about Casey earlier today, but it didn’t click with me until now. There is a dark ring around the iris of her eye, it’s called a Kayser-Fleischer ring. It’s caused by a buildup of copper deposits.”
Maddy was looking her child over on the other end of the line, after a moment she responded. “Yeah. Yeah, I see it.”
“Tell the doctor to check for Wilson’s disease. It’s a liver disorder. It’s rare, but treatable.”
“Wilson’s disease, got it. How are you so sure about this?”
“I don’t know,” you admitted, wishing you’d gotten more than just a flash of a magazine article to go on. “I don’t know. Call it instinct.”
Jensen looked up when you slipped back into the bedroom, “Everything alright?”
You returned to your spot on the bed and Christopher came up to cuddle beside you. You ran your hand over his hair in soothing gesture as your turned over the new information in your mind. You were relived and excited that something useful had broken through. Hopefully, it would help. You remembered that article word for word, if caught early on and monitored closely, people could live quite easily with it. Your gut said that would be the case for Casey.
“I was just checking in with Maddy. They’re fine, just waiting for the doctor.”
He nodded and looked down at the child who was snuggled into your side. Obviously, he had chosen his place to hunker down for the night and Jensen was more than okay with sharing his space. “Good. How about we wind down with a movie?”
“Toy Story,” Christopher piped up.
“Excellent choice,” you agreed.
A couple of hours later, the credits were rolling and the three of you were cuddled together in the center of the massive, king-sized bed. The kid conked out early on and you followed not long after. Jensen didn’t realize he had nodded off himself until the sound of your phone vibrating against the side table jolted him awake. He extracted himself from the cocoon of blankets and pillows and reached over you to grab the phone. You were a heavy sleeper and never even moved when he answered in a hushed tone.
“Maddy?”
“Jensen, hi. Sorry, I know its late.”
“No, it’s okay. Y/N and Chrissy are asleep, but I’m up. How’s Casey?”
“Better,” the young mother breathed, relief clear in her voice. “We’re on our way home now. Y/N was right. I still have to bring Casey back for tests in a few days just to be sure but, Y/N was on the money. The doctor didn’t even want to check, thought I was out of my mind. Thank god she saw it, I never even noticed!”
“Yeah,” Jensen murmured, looking down at your peaceful face. “Thank god.”
“Seriously though, how did she know about that disease? The doctor in the E.R. wasn’t even familiar with it.”
“I don’t know… she’s full of surprises. Listen, Chrissy is pretty comfortable here and you’ve had a hell of a night. Why don’t we keep him over-night and bring him home in the morning?”
“Oh my god, are you sure? I don’t want to put you out.”
“It’s no problem, he’s a great kid.”
“It’s official, you are my new favorite neighbor! Thank you, Jensen. Seriously, you’ve been great. And tell Y/N thanks, I’m so grateful I met her today!”
Jensen smiled as he hung up the phone and put it back on the charger. He settled back down into the bed and pulled the covers over the three of you. God, he’d had fun with you and the kid tonight. Until you came into his life, he was never around long enough to get to know any of his neighbors. It felt incredibly good to be a part of the community, even in this small way and he had you to thank for it. Maddy had it right. Grateful was exactly how he felt as he drifted off to sleep. Grateful he’d met you. Grateful you’d stuck around. Grateful you were curled up beside him, even with a child sandwiched in the middle.
The mystery of who you were was slowly unfolding as more fragments of your memories came through. And he was grateful to be at your side, witnessing the slow reveal of the most beautiful woman he’d ever met.
#jensen ackles x y/n#jensen ackles x you#jensen x reader#jensen ackles x reader#jensen ackles fanfiction#dean winchester fanfiction#spn fic#supernatural#nightingale
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Late Night Show
Title: Late Night Show
Author: @complicatedmerary
For: @fogspecs
Pairings/Characters: Misa/Takada tease, Kiyomi Takada, Misa Amane, Hitoshi Demegawa (cameo), Light Yagami (mentioned only)
Rating/Warnings: Teen and Up, alcohol mention, Demegawa being a gross boss, tabloid gossip nonsense, mean girl behavior, mild language, mild violence
Prompt: Misa and Takada have romantic tension between them.
Author’s notes: Misa and Takada, you say? Don’t mind if I do! As I was drafting ideas for the offered prompts, it occurred to me that the only time Misa and Takada met in canon was when Misa had no memories of being Kira. If we are being honest, that was a missed opportunity. Then, I thought, what if Misa has her memories intact, but Takada is not Kira’s spokeswoman? How will their dynamic change? Hope you enjoy!
______________________________________
“I’m telling you, Miss Takada, with your great assets and even greater personality, you will have my audience eating at the palm of our hands. My show has been craving a female perspective on scandalous gossip, you have no idea how much hate mail I receive for being unfair to these airheaded celebrities. If we get this right, no one will ever accuse me of having no substance, we are respectable journalists, dammit!”
Kiyomi Takada had barely started her first day of work and she already regretted every second of it. Truth be told, it was not a regular job, it was a weird hybrid of an internship that she had to fight to be eligible for credit and an arduous job that guaranteed humiliating tasks and low pay. The real reward is experience, she kept telling herself over and over as she reluctantly took this opportunity after being rejected by reputable news network stations. She had the nagging suspicion that Hitoshi Demegawa only chose her based on her looks rather than her impeccable academic record, but at this point it was too late to challenge this. No, she had to swallow her pride if she wanted to prove herself to be worthy of broadcasting intellectual journalism in the next few years.
“Hey, hey, what’s with the gloomy face?” Demegawa snapped his fingers close to Takada’s nose, startling her. “Celebrity gossip is supposed to be fun! Well, unless I report the usual actor breakdown, but that’s just show business, no one is truly getting hurt anyway.” He chuckled, holding himself by his belly.
Takada barely flinched.
“Come on, I’m just joking, don’t be so serious. We have something juicy coming up in thirty minutes and I need you to familiarize yourself with the news that has happened this morning.” Demegawa stopped speaking, gave Takada a nefarious grin, then patted her cheek as if she were a kid. “How about smiling for once? You will fit right in when people don’t see you as an ice queen.” He turned to the side and snapped his fingers repeatedly. “Everyone should be getting their makeup done, don’t you dare step out if your face is a mess!”
She took note of scrubbing her cheek raw until there was no trace of his dirty hand.
~~~
Takada looked over her script as her makeup artist fluffed some blush across her cheekbones. She wasn’t the type to focus on such frivolous things, but if she had to play the role of the tabloid host darling, she will gladly do so to keep Demegawa satisfied. Her credit and career depended on it.
She flipped the page with a lack of interest; Hideki Ryuga was out of the country for the third time this month? It wouldn’t surprise her if he ended up caught in a money laundering scheme, he seemed to be just that dumb. Next up, was A-list actress, Suki Aragaki, marrying his longtime beau, movie director, Kenji Ozu, after enduring a nasty love triangle that ended Ozu’s decade-long marriage. Congratulations, I guess, Kiyomi snorted, rolling her eyes at the absurdity.
She continued flipping until a familiar name made her stop on her tracks. Misa Amane. Without realizing it, her knuckles turned white as she gripped the script, and her jaw clenched painfully.
“Are you alright, Miss Takada?” The makeup artist placed a hand on her shoulder.
“Of course,” Takada let out a deep breath as her anger simmered down. “I’m just nervous, that’s all.”
The makeup artist nodded. “I understand. Don’t let Demegawa intimidate you, he is quite sweet once you get to know him.”
That was doubtful, but she was not about to argue, her attention was somewhere else. Misa Amane. The same silly model who appeared on campus and snatched Light Yagami away from her. To make matters worse, Amane randomly texted her out of nowhere months ago to let her and all of Light’s “other girls” know (which came as a disturbing revelation to her) that Light asked her to move in together and to back off. Why did Light love such an insecure, clingy woman? What could they possibly have in common besides good looks? And her classmates dared to call her superficial, how laughable.
As she kept reading the script, the gloom evaporated like a burst bubble. Misa Amane has been caught buying a pregnancy test despite declaring over the weekend at the premiere of her latest movie that she and her private boyfriend were waiting till marriage. Are we expecting wedding bells for the lovely couple, or did they marry in secret already to avoid the ire of her rabid fanboys? Unless there is something more sinister going on and her boyfriend is not the father of that baby. Perhaps that’s why Hideki Ryuga is out of the country, he is running away from his duty as a father! Those two have been fighting the persistent rumors of romance on set and that might settle it once and for all. Whoever the baby’s father is, congratulations to Misa Amane and her bundle of joy. We can’t wait to have more single mothers in the entertainment industry, such an underrepresented group in our society!
Takada tried to stifle her giggles between her fingers, but her amusement couldn’t be contained. For once Demegawa’s brutal commentary came in handy, there was no way Misa Amane could recover from this scandal. If there was anything juicier than an affair, it was a pregnancy resulting from the affair!
Oh, tonight’s show was going to be so much fun.
~~~
“It just does not make any sense, Miss Takada,” Teppei, her co-host, shook his head. “How can this movie be such a critical success when every review I have seen declared it the worst movie of the year even though we are halfway there? Who is bribing the industry to keep promoting it on television when no one wanted this movie to be made in the first place? It is a conspiracy; I am so sure of it.”
Takada pretended to act interested in the topic and simply smiled widely. She barely met Teppei today and she finally had the confirmation that she was dreading: He was a certified spoiled brat who assumed himself to be the greatest thing that has ever happened to comedy. The son of a politician, he got far enough to step into movies and television because his father left him a bottomless pit of money. He wasn’t good looking, so he relied on his short stature and misogynistic jokes to compensate for the lack of attention he never received in the spotlight. It worked perfectly enough to be perceived as harmless and now he got to hang out with late night show comedians and tour around the country. Takada wondered for how long mediocrity was going to be standard. If he were someone else, Demegawa would have no doubt chewed him out, but money and publicity ruled in his greedy heart.
“The real conspiracy is,” Takada pointed at the screen, a photo of Hideki Ryuga and Misa Amane on set, holding hands. “What is up with these two? They keep stating over and over that there is no romance, but I have yet to see her publicly with her supposed boyfriend. What exactly is she hiding?” The next slide showed a paparazzi shot of Misa Amane allegedly going to the pharmacy for a pregnancy test.
The audience gasped loudly, as expected, thanks to the teleprompter.
“Woah,” Teppei spun around dramatically. “Didn’t she say she was waiting till marriage?”
“It makes you wonder why Hideki Ryuga is out of the country for the third time this week,” Takada gasped. “What are the odds that he found out about her pregnancy and is panicking about the possibility of being a father?”
“If that’s not the case, then she married her boyfriend in secret to keep up with her indiscretion and avoid the ire of her fans.” Teppei covered his mouth and giggled like a schoolboy. “Sucks for him because if they were supposed to be celibate, then that’s Ryuga’s baby! Man, things are not going well for Misa Amane!”
“Congratulations to Misa Amane and her bundle of joy,” Takada recited the script with unnecessary enthusiasm. “We can’t wait to have more single mothers in the entertainment industry, such an underrepresented group in our society!”
The phone rang on the set, which meant that a fan of the show had the opportunity to give their perspective on the topic. This was Demegawa’s idea to encourage “respectful dialogue” on live television, but Takada knew better: It was to enforce the trashiness of the show with inflammatory controversy, and there was no doubt one of Misa’s fanboys was calling to defend her “honor and dignity.”
Yeah, you cannot defend something that never existed, Takada thought bitterly.
“Looks like we struck a nerve,” She hummed and picked up the phone, setting it to onset speaker. “Yes, how can we help you?”
“YOU DISGUSTING, UGLY BITCH!” A shrill voice echoed around the studio, creating some feedback on the boom microphones. “I ought to sue every single of you for defamation of character! I would never cheat on my boyfriend, especially not with Hideki Ryuga! You are all sick in the head for lying this bad!”
Takada couldn’t help the grin that was plastered on her face … No one could mistake that voice to someone else. So, Misa Amane was the type of celebrity who watched gossip shows to hear if she was relevant? This was just too hilarious and unsurprising for her.
“Sorry, Miss Amane, we are just reporting the news,” she said coolly. “We are not fond of frivolous lawsuits, so I ask you to respect the press.”
“YOU ARE NOT REPORTING ‘NEWS’, YOU ARE SPREADING GARBAGE!” There was a brief silence on the other line, and then the sound of chugging down a liquid echoed on the speaker. “You are just jealous that I’m in a committed relationship and you are stuck with your misery,” Misa’s words were slurred. “How about spreading some good news? Whatever happened to being kind?”
“With all due respect, Miss Amane,” Teppei had a smug grin on his face. “You are in the entertainment industry; we don’t owe you kindness. If you can’t handle criticism, maybe being a celebrity is not the job for you.”
Takada covered her mouth, hiding the twitch on her lips that she couldn’t contain any longer. Was this truly the end for Misa Amane? No one seemed to be on Misa’s side, and she was humiliating herself on live television. Things were finally looking up for her.
“Oh, shut up, Teppei, no one likes you, you are only relevant because of your daddy,” Misa shot back. “And as for you, Kiyomi Takada, my boyfriend will never be with you, he prefers me, he said so himself, so knock it off.”
The bombshell caused a murmur amongst the audience and Takada stiffened on the spot. No, she was not going to let Misa Amane win this fight, not now, not ever.
“Wow, Miss Amane, are you having a mental breakdown?” She chuckled. “Jealousy is not part of a healthy relationship, it’s not good that you are projecting your insecurities on me. We don’t even know each other.”
“That’s it! I’m going down to Sakura TV, find you, and kick your butt! You’ll be sorry for messing with me—”
“Like that’s ever going to happen.” And with that, she slammed the phone and there was nothing but the dial and laughter from the audience.
She wondered if she ruined her chances of ever being taken seriously, but one glance at Demegawa’s blissful face told her everything she needed to know: This episode was one for the books.
~~~
It was close to midnight when the show finally ended, and Takada stayed overtime to talk to Demegawa about the possibility of hosting the show by herself. He said he would think about it, but he couldn’t guarantee anything despite the reception. That was good enough for her. For now.
As she approached the parking lot, she heard footsteps to her left, but there were so light that for a second, she thought she imagined it in her head. She was tired and it had been a long and overexciting night, she couldn’t wait to go home and sleep on her bed.
“There you are!”
Takada turned around and she couldn’t believe what she saw: Staring at her with malice was Misa Amane, standing up straight with her legs apart, and clenched fists.
“I told you I was going to find you and kick your butt! Now, don’t you dare move!” Misa sprinted forward with so much velocity on her direction, her gaze still focused.
Takada panicked for a few moments, darting her head back and forth, looking for a way out. Instinctively, she raised her arms across her face to defend it and swung her leg on any direction her adrenaline asked her to do, her eyes closed.
It all happened so fast: As Misa aimed to kick Takada on the shin, she tripped on Takada’s swinging foot, and she landed on the concrete, stomach down.
Takada opened her eyes when she heard the agonizing whines below her and gasped at the sight of Misa laying flatly in the middle of the parking lot. Oh, God, I didn’t hurt her that bad, did I?
“Are you alright?” She felt pathetic; of course, she was not alright, she just tripped her with her foot, what a terrible question!
“Here, let me help you—”
“Don’t touch me!” Misa shrugged her off as she managed to stand on her own. Well, just barely, she couldn’t maintain her balance as she tried to step away towards the street.
Despite hating that woman with a burning intensity, she was not going to let Misa walk by herself with injuries all over her, especially in such a shady area. No, if she drove away and Misa ended up missing (or worse, dead) because she was alone, she could no longer call herself a virtuous person.
“You are not going anywhere. Come on, I need to take you home.” Takada dragged Misa roughly by the arm towards her car.
“Let me go!” Misa tried to resist her, but her balance betrayed her. “I’m not going to tell you where I live, you are going to stalk Light if you know!”
God, would she stop being so freaking loud?
“Either you tell me where you live, or you have no choice but to spend the night in this parking lot,” She pushed Misa inside the car and dropped her legs on the passenger seat. She then held her arms as she put the seatbelt over her body.
“I don’t have time for this, you are a grown woman, act like it—” She caught a whiff of cheap wine on Misa’s breath. “Ugh, so you are drunk. That’s it, I’m going to drive all around the city until you tell me where I should drop you. I’m not stopping until you get over yourself.”
~~~
The drive did go longer than expected; it was one in the morning and Misa refused to speak one word to her. Two could play the game, Takada did not say one word either. The only sound filling out the silence was the pop radio station playing the same song for the third time. At this point, she wondered if she will ever get peace for at least trying to help another woman out.
“I did mean what I said on the phone,” Misa murmured quietly. “Light does not want you, he never did.”
Why was she bringing that up now? Why did it matter after she ignored her this time entire time?
“I don’t care,” Takada rolled her eyes. “You don’t need to do this, you have him, why isn’t that enough for you?”
“It’s easy for you to say,” Misa snorted. “He dumps you and you act like it never happened. If Light were to dump me, I don’t think I would want to continue living.”
Good lord, this woman is insane.
“You want to know what the worst part is?” Tears suddenly rolled down her eyes. “The reason why I don’t want you to drop me to my apartment is because you will not find him there. He has been acting so weird since—” She shook her head. “No, he is a man, this is a man thing. It’s normal for your boyfriend to not spend every night together, right?”
Takada really wanted to say, no, it was not normal, but she didn’t know what she could possibly say that could make this situation better. She didn’t ask for this personal information, this was none of her business. And yet, why did she want to hear more about Light’s inability to keep his own girlfriend happy? What the hell was wrong with him?
“I’m not pregnant, you know,” Misa whispered, and Takada’s glanced at her, confused. “We have tried—Well, I tried my best to let that happen. I’ve been so hopeful that maybe if we have a baby together, we will be bonded for life. That, maybe, just maybe, he would look at me differently. Yes, I did buy that pregnancy test, and yes, the photos are real, but I’m not pregnant. Are you happy now? You got your little revenge by making fun of me, now I’m asking the media to do the same.”
It was hard to swallow, her throat was so dry. She couldn’t believe this, but she felt guilt. Guilt for even entertaining the idea of messing up someone’s life in such a public manner. Guilt for doing that in the first place for the sake of ratings!
Sorry was not going to be enough, she wasn’t even sure what was she apologizing for. Sorry I tripped you with my foot? Sorry I bullied you so badly that you had to get drunk to deal with the pain on live television? Sorry Light Yagami is not a perfect man? She felt nothing, anything that she could possibly say was going to be in vain if she didn’t mean it.
She suddenly stopped her car and parked on the side of the road. She turned off the radio and breathed out slowly, attempting to calm herself. Screw this, she had to do the right for once.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea that you are left drunk in your apartment.”
“What?” Misa’s eyes widened.
“If Light is not there to keep an eye on you, then—”
“What are you trying to say?” Misa was instantly furious. “I can take care of myself, I’m not a child. When Light comes back in the morning, he won’t even notice I was drunk, it’s like it never happened, we are back to being a normal couple. If you are suggesting that I would do something drastic … I’m not stupid! What do you take me for?”
“Please listen to me,” Takada pinched the bridge of her nose and breathed in and out slowly again. “I’m not saying you are stupid; I’m just trying to say that you are not in control of your emotions, and I don’t trust you to be by yourself for now.”
“I am in control of my emotions.”
“You literally cried to me that Light is not spending every night with you.”
Misa kept her mouth shut.
“All I’m saying is that I need to keep an eye you.” She regretted the words once they left her lips. Was it the guilt talking? Was she considering taking care of Misa until she got over her drunkenness? What the hell was going on here?
“I know what to do now,” She restarted the engine and shifted to drive.
“Where are we going?” Misa asked with suspicion.
“I’m taking you to my apartment and give you the chance to rest there.”
“YAY!” Misa hugged her suddenly and kissed her cheek, almost causing Takada to let go of the steering wheel. “We are going to have a girls’ night, we could stay up all night, tell each other stories—”
“Not happening,” She cut her off, but she smiled despite herself.
Misa giggled. “You know, your numbers just switched, it’s like they moved up.”
“What?”
“Oh, nothing, nothing that you should ever worry about.” She said in a sing-song voice.
Takada rolled her eyes. It was going to be a longer night than anticipated.
#fanfiction#death note#submission#misa amane#kiyomi takada#hitoshi demegawa#complicatedmerary#fogspecs#Near's Bday Finale 2k21#ratings: teen
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Sometimes I think somebody is making a decent argument about how not growing up in chinese culture might screw up my view of YZYs parenting but then on the same breath they say that if WWX offended her enough she could have killed him and it would have been acceptable back then... given EVERYTHING in that novel and MXTX other works can you really say She wouldn’t be seen as a bad person for that? At least in meta? Ok I understand outsiders coming to critic you culture, esp when it’s about 1/2
family dynamics is probably incredibly frustrating, you probably feel like we know nothing about what it is in general. And I can admit I don’t. I read 2ha and there the ml uses whipping to diciple the mc for varying level of offenses. By meta Narrative he is only seen as ”little too harsh”. This seems kinda alien to me but I get it’s not my place to judge. But in mdzs case the framing of the act seems completely different? I think people need to remeber we are talking about 2/2now3:’(
About a spesific instance in fiction. Not trying to critic a whole culture. It does feel insulting to say that as a non chinese I’d have a better understanding of a text written for a chinese audience, but I feel like this argument has gotten out of hand. I do not want to critize all of chinas parenting style. But in this spesific book, the way YZY is written it seems to be framed as a bad thing. 3/3
Yeah, it’s like... do non-Chinese people have a nuanced understanding of how Chinese parenting works? No. Does that affect how we view it? For sure. Can we say for sure that MXTX was trying to make any sort of statement or commentary? Of course not. But saying we’re supposed to be on YZY’s side in a work by an author who has repeatedly shown corporal punishment against children as a bad thing because “MXTX is Chinese and YZY would’ve had the right to do that in the time period”? Sorry, I don’t buy that at all. Yes, corporal punishment was fine for people to use against children at the time, but this is not a work of historical non-fiction! It’s a fictional work set in an ahistorical fantasy world! A world being written by someone who has shown that level of pointless corporal punishment (especially aimed at children) as an outright villainous act in her other works! Please, I just want a little more consideration than that. “This is how it is in the real world so this is obviously how it is in this fantastical world” is just downright lazy analysis.
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How Day6 would comfort you when you come home crying
warnings: some foul language
an: i was informed about how little day6 content there was (ty @justcuz-ican), so here is more
these are written for people who prefer physical active comfort rather than being left alone when upset, so i may write a set of reactions for people who are the other way round
all members under the cut :)
Sungjin
he may not be used to openly discussing feelings but that does not mean he doesn’t care
he loves you so much and so dearly that seeing you cry will wreck him
i have no doubts he would drop everything for you if the time called for it
he’s a very good listener, and will remain quiet if you need to vent
he is a fixer, and so when you explain what happened, and if you want help, he will do his damn best to make it all ok again
will 100% sort it for you all by himself (if you don’t want him to, you might want to, like... stop him before he does real quick)
he’s very loyal ok so will take your side no matter what
when it comes to comfort it would depend on how long you’ve been together for
if it’s still early days (by his standards), he will try his best to offer verbal support, and then help you continue with your day to the best of both of your ability
however if you’ve been together for a long while
so long that no one, including yourselves, can see yourself with anyone else
he will be a lot more affectionate on top of the above
that’s when you know that you’ve caught his heart without a catch or caveat
will hold you close in a simple but in no way inferior embrace
and trust me, sungjin hugs are phenomenal
and so these are no different
he’s just so soft, you would be so warm and secure in his arms, sobs gradually coming to a stop as your tears dried upon his shirt
i have a lot of feels for sungjin ok
Jae
cuddles + distraction king
will send little messages of support throughout the day if you choose/are able to text him about how bad things are going
as soon as you come home he will take you into his arms
will dry your tears with his fingers as best he can
seeing you upset has the capability to make him very nearly cry too, depending on what it is and how bad (and his day too)
will take the two of you to somewhere comfortable
whether it be sofa or bed or wherever, just somewhere close and safe
he gets it, you need the security
will settle you into his lap and that’s it, that’s your home now
strokes your hair and will speak no louder than a murmur for you
if you want to talk about it, he will listen and comment where he can
lots of verbal support
won’t leave your side until you stop crying, no joke
if/when you need distracting, those movies are going on bois
or he will play a video game if you’d prefer something different
is not above deliberately being bad and making stupid commentary to make you laugh
by the end the sadness will feel like it happened in another time
jae is just that good
Younghyun
will not stop fawning over you
he’s affectionate anyway
so when he sees you upset he tries to give you as much of it as possible
back rubs, cuddles, forehead and cheek kisses, the full lot
so gentle
so good to vent to because his advice is really sound
he doesn’t want to leave your side, but will make exceptions
and so will bring you pretty much anything and everything to try and make it better
from tissues to snacks to his special hoodies you name it
once you stop crying, your treatment doesn’t stop there
nope, sorry, that’s not how kang younghyun rolls
on the day he will make you food, yes
and then he will coax you into sleep (probably spooning or with your head on his chest, he likes that)
then the next time you’re together, prepare yourself
as even if your day has been fine and all your problems are sorted, he’s taking you out to a lovely restaurant
or taking you shopping and buying the shit you saw in the shop window and didn’t buy for frankly no good reason
he wants the week to balance out at the very least
because he may not be able to fix the actual problems that made you upset, but in a way he can make it up to you
even though its 90% of the time never his fault
overall, get yourself a youngk yall
Wonpil
my babie is a sensitive soul
im not saying he’s going to weep with you when you come home after your god awful day
but will he tear up?
yes
he’s a bit of an emotion sponge i get that and seeing you hurt just rubs onto him
doesn’t know what to do really, so may flounder slightly at times
he’s used to you being quite the rock
but he’s an affection king so prepare to be smothered because he isn’t changing now
will be 100x more gentle though
if that’s possible
...yeah it’s possible
cups your cheeks so carefully as if you’re made of glass
he’ll catch your tears on the corners of his sleeves
and then will proceed to do and give you everything that makes him feel better when he’s upset
so his plushie, his blankets, his food, the lot
and then will make it a special night for you
meaning, the softest night in you could imagine
understands you the best, and will say the right thing at the right time
loyal once again, so will always take your side too
and will hold a grudge
even if the problems are sorted the very next day, if a person caused them, he will not trust them until they give him a good reason to like... ever again lol
even if you insist that they’re not as bad anymore
they’ll just be known as ‘the prick that made y/n cry’ and will get glares from him if they see him in the street
of course if they apologise and prove that they’ve improved then he’s back to being a sunshine
mostly
honestly i think wonpil could be strangely threatening if he really, really wanted to be
tho tbh i am biased bc if i disappointed him once i would cry on the spot so idk
Dowoon
sweet babe
wouldn’t quite know what to do at first
especially if it’s still early days in your relationship
not amazing at talking but will try his hardest
same applies for physical comfort
you may have to initiate if it’s the very first time if you want a hug sorry
but he will learn quickly
and will go from holding you close and secure while quietly listening to you vent
to recognising something is wrong by your text aura alone
and preparing things if he can for when you get home
would make a small pillow fort for you ngl
i then see him making small changes to his behaviour that mean big things
so yes, when your relationship is strong and stable, he will cradle you just how you like
and no kidding his back rubs are really comforting
but for the rest of the week he will be super careful
and so will take on a few more chores despite the fair distribution you have going so far
when walking together in public he will normally hold your hand, but for the few days after he will actually put an arm around you instead
and when at home he’ll definitely sit a lot closer to you
going out of his way to work in the same room or a seat closer to you despite being already set up elsewhere
small text messages throughout the day checking if everything is fine, and if any people that caused you issues have done anything else
he remembers you see
he’ll probably return to his slightly shy and normal self after but it doesn’t mean you’re not important to him
after all, i can see him growing used to moving to join you when you come home, and so that may become a common occurrence once he is sure you want that too
overall, a caring boyfriend, just in a more subtle way
~~~
an: i feel this isnt as put together as my others but i hope its still legible and worthwhile
masterlist
#day6#day6 fluff#day6 reactions#day6 angst#day6 reactions fluff#day6 reactions angst#day6 comfort#day6 x reader#day6 x reader fluff#day6 x reader angst#sungjin#sungjin fluff#sungjin angst#sungjin x reader#jae#jae fluff#jae angst#jae x reader#youngk#youngk fluff#youngk angst#youngk x reader#wonpil#wonpil x reader#wonpil fluff#wonpil angst#dowoon#dowoon fluff#dowoon angst#dowoon x reader
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A Sparkle Free Reveal
Summary: Louis gets Prisha to come over and watch Twilight with him and he is excited to find out whether Twilight vampires are anything like real ones.
Word Count: 2772
Read on AO3:
Louis could hardly contain his excitement as he slid across the floor in his colorful lightning socks. After countless times of asking and begging he had gotten Prisha to agree to watch Twilight with him. Of course he had told her that Violet was going to be at this special showing of the movie at his house as well, but as luck would have it Violet couldn’t make it. At least not for the first hour or so.
The werewolf’s text message said something about werewolf training or something. Louis wasn’t exactly sure what that meant. The one time he had seen the werewolf training that Violet did with Coach Garcia he only heard the older wolf talking about what was the best cut of steak. Whatever, he was sure Violet would drop by, especially since he said that Prisha would be here. Originally this was planned to be a double date but now it would be a date plus a cool vampire bro.
Louis hummed happily as he grabbed a ton of drinks and snacks. The frankenstein struggled to balance all the great treats in his arms as he wandered to the movie room. The candy shook around with each step he took and his hands were starting to dangle off as he carried the liters of soda. “Come on, old lefty and righty, we’re almost there!” Louis cheered on his hands which were struggling to hold on for dear life.
After a few moments the frankenstein found the movie room again and was able to place down the sodas, cups and candy just in time. “Phew, that was close!” Louis placed his hands on his hips and smiled proudly at the setup so far. He’d gotten a ton of blankets and pillows and the popcorn was popped and placed in cute little old timey popcorn holders. He had procured all the best snacks: candy, chips, popcorn and sodas.
Louis’ eyes widened in realization when he remembered that Prisha was a vampire. He had totally blanked and forgotten the blood packs! Though now that he thought about it, he might not have been able to get them at all. Earlier this week when he had asked his dad about how to buy blood, his father simply frowned in disgust and said he didn’t want to purchase that sort of thing. Louis was trying to think of a good solution when the doorbell rang. That must be Prisha and Clementine!
“On my way!” Louis declared loudly and tried to move his hands from his hips but as soon as he did he heard the all too familiar popping sound. With a groan Louis looked down and saw that now both of his hands were stuck on his hips. He could reattach them once he reached the fron door. For now he had to greet his guests. The frankenstein slid across the floor with lightning speed on his socks. His dreadlocks bounced around from the sudden movement and his hands flapped on his hips. Louis quickly reached the door and realized his mistake. He had no way to stop himself now. With a panicked yelp Louis ran into the side of the wall and fell on his butt. His legs flailed around and his right one popped off slightly.
“Louis! Are you okay?” Clementine asked, her tone filled with concern. She didn’t wait for an answer and opened the door. Her eyes grew large when she saw the state her boyfriend was in. Jogging over, Clementine worked to get Louis’ hands back on.
“I gotta hand it to you Clem, you sure do know how to make a guy feel special,” Louis’ smile grew when he heard the soft laughter of his girlfriend. The sound made his heart pitter patter; he was so lucky to be with Clementine. She made him feel like no other human or monster ever could.
With a small grunt, Clementine pulled Louis up onto his now fully attached foot. Louis grinned and stole a small kiss. His smile faded though when he saw Clementine pause for a moment. But it became clear as day that he had no need to worry about anything when Clementine returned the kiss. Her kisses always felt like electricity coursing through the frankenstein’s body. It was easily the best feeling in the world to Louis.
“Perhaps it would be best if I watched the movie with you another day,” Prisha’s voice made the two look over. The vampire was clearly already feeling like a third wheel.
“No! I wanted to watch Twilight with you today! Don’t worry, Vi said she would come over as soon as she could,” Louis reassured his friend. “Oh! You may enter!” he declared extra loudly and Prisha blinked, startled for a moment before laughing.
“No, Louis, it's quite alright. I’ve already entered this house before. Besides, the whole ‘a vampire has to be invited in to enter a room or building’ is complete superstition.” Prisha strolled in and looked around at the beautiful interior of the mansion. “It was propaganda that humans made to foolishly think they had the power to stop vampires from entering homes unannounced,” Prisha smiled, her fangs poking out until she saw the look in Clementine and Louis’ eyes.
“Are you a burglar in your free time, Prisha?” Louis whispered to the vampire.
“What? No! I was just- I have class and morals!” Prisha huffed and turned sharply around, causing her black cape to flutter up and dance in the wind. How she had not only agreed to watch this vampire movie but also to wear a ‘vampire’ cape was beyond Prisha. She supposed that was the power of friendship; it had been a long time since she had friends so she guessed it only made sense.
“Well, why don’t we start the movie?” Clementines suggested and slipped her hand into Louis’. The frankenstein beamed and nodded a bit too excitedly, causing the seams on his neck to loosen and his head to flop over. “I've gotcha!” Clementine caught her boyfriend’s head and popped it back in pace.
With his head resecured, Louis proudly led the way forward. He twirled Clementine around once before gushing to both girls about how happy he was to finally be able to do this. After leading the monster and human through the maze that was his house and into the movie room, Louis kissed Clementine’s cheek and scampered off to get the movie set up.
Prisha sat down and noticed the popcorn. Human food had little nutritional use for her but it was still tasty. She took a kernel and tossed it in her mouth. The buttery taste made the vampire’s fangs poke out happily. Clementine smiled at her friend’s happiness and began to get the drinks ready. She was about to prepare the blankets when Louis reappeared.
“Please, allow me, m’lady,” Louis took the blanket and dramatically tossed it in the air and let it drape over Clementine. He then slipped under the blanket and blindly searched for Clementine’s hand. After a second he found it and smiled lovingly over at his girlfriend.
The frankenstein watched the ads playing on the screen before the movie for a minute before he glanced over at Prisha. The vampire had made a nice little spot for herself and although she wasn’t expecting anything great to come from the movie she was enjoying the snacks.
“Pssst, Prisha,” Louis’ voice drew the vampire’s attention who gave him a look to acknowledge she was listening. “I forgot to get you blood packs. Sorry,” Louis’s face fell and his dreadlocks swayed a bit.
“That's quite alright. I figured that may happen so I brought some of my own,” Prisha pulled back her cape and revealed little blood pouches tucked along her belt.
“Ooo! That's good. I was worried,” Louis leaned back in his chair and smiled when Clementine kissed his hand. The frankenstein continued to watch the last few ads before the film when he remembered something else. “Oh yeah, Prisha, I got you a neat stand that looks like a cool tree branch so you can watch the movie in your bat form if you want,” Louis squirmed around to get out of his blanket cocoon to grab the stand. He made a series of victory sounds as he held up the cute little stand. Prisha’s eyes shone at the sight. It was cute and a thoughtful gesture. The vampire soon shook herself out of her wonder though. She wanted to make commentary on how much the movie would be getting wrong about vampires.
“No thank you, I’d rather stay in this form.” Prisha opened up a blood pouch and happily sipped it right as the movie started. It didn’t take long for her to make commentary. It was obvious that this interpretation of vampires was extremely inaccurate.
“Ooo! Ooo! It's their first meeting!” Louis chimed in and excitedly ate some candy. The three of them watched as Edward stared at Bella who walked in front of a fan. The vampire viciously clutched his nose as papers blew in the wind.
“What? Did he smell a fart?” Prisha’s question made both Louis and Clementine laugh.
“Nah, he just smelled Bella’s scent and it was too powerful,” Clementine commented as the scene continued.
“Well, that makes no sense. That would be more akin to a werewolf’s ability of scent.” Prisha pointed out and the frankenstein looked over at his friend.
“So you didn’t smell Violet when you first met and become overwhelmed by her blood’s scent?”
“No! I’m not a creep like this sorry excuse for a vampire! I’m refined!’ Prisha grumbled and fell back in her chair, causing her cape to fly up and fall over her face. Clementine and Louis laughed at the sight before the vampire worked to free herself from her cape.
The movie quickly continued on and the other vampires were introduced but Edward was always front and center. “Why are all of these vampires so moody? I don’t act like this, I’m not some dramatic-” Prisha looked over to see Clementine’s teasing smile. The vampire huffed and flopped back in her chair. “Whatever, my point still stands that they are too mopey.” Prisha tossed some kernels of popcorn in her mouth and washed them down with some blood. The movie continued on and Prisha started to point out more things. Why were all of the vampires sickly pale and all of them if not most were white? Prisha began to go on a small spiel about how vampires were actually created long ago and didn’t originate in Europe but in Asia. Clementine and Louis cuddled up close to each other and enjoyed the vampire’s commentary throughout the movie. The couple snuck little kisses here and there and ended up feeding each other popcorn and candy. Prisha was far too caught up in all the inaccuracies to feel like the third wheel anymore even though that was the reality of the situation.
“Oh, it's this scene. I’m sure Prish will love this one,” Clementine teased which made the vampire raise an eyebrow.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Prisha leaned over but Louis waved his hand.
“Shhh, shhh, you’re ruining the cinematic masterpiece of vampire storytelling,” Louis whispered over at the vampire. She couldn’t tell how serious he was being. Prisha decided not to focus on it though and returned her attention to the screen. Edward and Bella were now in the forest near the school where Edward was opening up about how dangerous he was. He listed reason after reason and Prisha fully believed he was correct in saying he wasn’t the right fit for Bella. Louis, on the other hand, was completely focused on asking Prisha questions.
“Prisha, do you have super speed?”
“No, I don’t,” Prisha responded and saw the little frown on Louis’ face.
“Is it a secret? It's a secret , right? Does Vi know about your speedy legs?”
“Lou,” Clementine gently pulled on his arm. “Enough about the super speed. Clearly Prisha won't tell us the secret. The secret that she has that ability,” Clementine joked and the vampire crossed her arms.
“I can’t believe this is what humans think vampires are like. They don’t think we’re a threat, they think we’re a joke.” Prisha slurped on a blood pouch with a pout when suddenly something on the screen made her stare at it in disbelief. Was Edward really shining now that he was in the sunlight? Before the scene could continue Clementine paused it.
“Sorry, bathroom break. Oh, I’ll also grab the leftover snacks and pop some more popcorn too,” Clementine leaned over and gave Louis a long, soft kiss before leaving.
After a minute Louis leaned over toward Prisha. “I need to ask you something important,” Louis’ eyes looked serious so Prisha turned her full attention to the conversation.
“Yes? What is it?”
“Do you sparkle in the sunlight? Or in general?” Louis gave an excited gasp. “Can you sparkle on command? Show me your sparkly powers, my wise vampire confidant!”
Prisha had had it. Without warning she abruptly stood up. “I am nothing like those vampires! I have no special sparkle power! Observe!” Prisha took the hem of her shirt and lifted it up to stomach, flapping the shirt again and again and again. “Does it look like I’m sparkling, Louis? Am I sparkling now? I have no spark-”
“Shit! Sorry I arrived so late! Werewolf-” Violet paused as she stood in the doorway. Her eyes were focused on Prisha’s toned stomach and she felt her face growing hot. The werewolf now had a deep blush on her face and as Prisha noticed her girlfriend had arrived she wasn’t doing much better. The vampire slowly let go off her shirt, causing it to fall back down and cover her stomach. The two stood in silence, both of them overwhelmed by what happened.
“Hey, bestie! You arrived at the perfect time!” Louis wiggled his eyebrows playfully.
“Louis!” Violet sent her best friend a look but her tail was still wagging just as wildly as it had been a few seconds ago. After a few seconds she noticed what Prisha was wearing. “Why are you in a cape?”
Prisha glanced down and felt her embarrassment grow. “I was told to look like a cool vampire,” She fidgeted with her braid; she was looking like an utter fool in front of Violet.
“I think you look cool,” Violet’s words made Prisha look up at her girlfriend. Her fangs immediately poked out as she smiled. Walking forward, Prisha used her cape and wrapped Violet in a hug. The werewolf’s ears were perked and her tail wagged ecstatically under the cape, causing it to flutter this way and that.
Soon Clementine had returned with the snacks and the movie resumed. Prisha seemed to calm down on her commentary now that Violet was here. Instead the vampire focused on showing affection to her girlfriend as they watched the movie. That didn’t stop funny comparisons between Prisha and the movie vampires from continuing. Many of the group’s favorite quirks about Prisha weren’t present in Twilight at all, like how she made cute bat-like sounds whenever she was gifted a blood pouch or how she got emotional over stories about bats. The four of them all enjoyed the movie though, even if it wasn’t the most accurate interpretation of vampires.
Clementine ended up falling asleep near the end of the movie, her head resting on Louis’ shoulder who kissed it before resting his own on top of hers. Soon the movie was done but neither couple wanted to move. Clementine was still asleep on Louis’ shoulder and Violet had ended up making a comfy little spot in Prisha’s arms.
“So… not a bad movie, huh?” Louis smiled over at the vampire.
“It was alright. It had its funny moments,” Prisha responded positively which made the frankenstein beam.
“Great! Because I have so many more vampire movies to watch with you! Whatcha say, you in?” Louis moved a bit too quickly, nearly waking Clementine but with a few quick kisses she fell asleep again.
Prisha pondered the offer for a minute. Sure, the movie wasn’t accurate but no human’s interpretation of a vampire ever had been. Besides, it turned out to be a fun double date. “Alright.”
“Awesome, because I found one with a vampire who has hair shaped like a butt!” Louis grinned.
“What?”
“Oh, but first we have three or four more Twilight movies to watch,” Louis’ statement made Prisha’s eyes grow large.
What had she just agreed to?
#twdg#twdg louis#twdg clementine#twdg violet#twdg prisha#clouis#twdg privet#fanfic#we are monsters we are proud au
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19. Wakenhyrst, by Michelle Paver
Owned: No, library
Page count: 385
My summary: One morning in 1913, Edmund Stearne left the sanctity of his manor house armed with an icepick, and murdered a young man. His daughter Maud has the key to the mystery, but she isn’t telling anyone. Only by travelling through her past can we see her relationship with her lofty and repressive father, and unpick the events that lead to that day in the courtyard, where a man’s life was cut so short.
My rating: 3.5/5
My commentary:
This was another ‘picked it up on a whim’ sort of book. I literally had no expectations before I launched into it, I got it at the library months ago in the brief window where libraries were open, and didn’t even read the back before I started it. Still, the book wasn’t what I was expecting, and I don’t know what I mean by that - I didn’t have any expectations! But I don’t mean that in a bad way. I think I enjoyed it more than I thought I was going to, even!
First off, the main character is Maud, a young girl struggling for independence against her terrible father in Edwardian Suffolk. Maud was a strong character, no less because she had attitudes typical to her age! One of her later acts of rebellion involves buying a corset! It’s always refreshing to see female characters in historical fiction who are independent and even feminist without being so in a modern sense of the word, and having attitudes that makes sense for the time period. She’s also incredibly flawed. She’s rude to the servants, especially Ivy, who she slut-shames hard. She’s myopic and a little narcissistic and all of that makes her seem so brilliantly human. I really liked Maud, she was complex and flawed and a very compelling point of view character.
Edmund is the second most important person, and by contrast he’s utterly odious. Misogynistic, classist, insular, and warped by his religious upbringing to the point where he will gladly murder a man because he believes he is posessed by a demon; he’s a terrible person and an interesting character. He is, perhaps, a little over the top, but it works in the setting and with the story being told. Edmund’s point of view is narrated through his diary entries, which Maud reads, giving us both insight into how he sees the world and how he sees Maud, contrasted with her opinions of the same. The result is incredibly compelling as the various mysteries unfold - though their solutions aren’t exactly groundbreaking in terms of Shocking Twists, it’s still a well-told tale and a well-thought-out mystery.
This book is, for a large part, about womanhood. Much is made of Maud’s mother being in a constant state of pregnancy thanks to her father’s actions, and then he indirectly kills her by choosing to save her unborn child who had no hope of living over her, just so the child could be baptised. Extreme religious oppression and misogyny are examined - Maud’s father believes she is unintelligent because she’s a woman, and she uses this to manipulate him and see what he’s up to without his knowledge. It works against her, too - she tries to persuade the doctor to see to her father when his mental health is declining based on his diary as evidence of his delusions, but the doctor refuses and instead threatens to have Maud institutionalised. Pregnancy and sex hang heavy in the story, with women being judged and valued based on their ability to do both. It was not perhaps an original take, but it was an interesting one nonetheless.
The other big theme is religion, and in particular the idea of salvation, redemption, and being chosen by God. Maud’s father sees God in every coincidence, with tragic consequences when it ultimately drives him to murder. Paver has obviously done her research - the text Edmund is translating is obviously a take on the writings of Margery Kemp, medieval Englishwoman and really cool historical figure, look her up. As Edmund descends further into religious mania, his justifications for acting as he does become flimsier and flimsier, to the point where he is warped into a murderer - Maud, by contrast, becomes an atheist in part due to her father’s lack of care and empathy, and her more rational point of view contrasts his as she tries desperately to stop him.
That’s all I have there, I think - join me next time for more demons in Ireland’s distant past, in another installment of the Demonata.
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Our Collective 18th Century Library
This is a selection of books about the 18th century fashion, history, beauty, and life. Most of them in my personal library or have consulted but have not bought (yet). This post is going to be edited with more books added and reblogged for all to see, that’s why I called this post “our collective 18th century library”, from me to you all and then for you all to all of us.
Please add other books you have in your collections or you’ve read! And if you could keep the format (cover photo, book info, a little comment, the themes we can find in the book, and the link of where to find them), it will be consistently useful for everyone!
Let’s start:
ART
Casta Painting: Images of Race in Eighteenth-Century Mexico, by Ilona Katzew, Yale University Press, 2005, ISBN-10: 0300109717
Casta painting is a whole genre created in Mexico for depicting the population of the New Spain, and it’s whole purpose was to show the Spanish King what an organised viceroyalty it was, and how everyone has their proper place, even if that was not entirely true.
Themes: fashion (for visual reference), castas, race, Mexico, New Spain, Viceroyalty, the Americas, Mexico City, art, 18th century.
Available at: Amazon / Barnes and Noble / Waterstones
Painted in Mexico, 1700-1790: Pinxit Mexici, edited by Ilona Katzew, Prestel Publishing, 2017, ISBN: 978-3-7913-5677-8
The book from the exhibition about art made in Mexico City during the 18th century.
Themes: art, portraits, casta painting, Mexico, Mexico City, Viceroyalty, New Spain, the Americas, castas, religion, catholicism, 18th century.
Available at: Amazon / Amazon (Spanish version) / Target / Waterstones
HISTORY
A History of Private Life, Volume III: Passions of the Renaissance, Edited by Roger Chartier, Series edited by Phillippe Ariès, Harvard University Press, 1993, ISBN 9780674400023
The life or ordinary people from the Renaissance to the Enlightenment, centered in Europe and especially France, you’ll read about the everyday lives of women and children, common men, education, marriage and well, the private life. This whole series (of 5 volumes) is worth each penny.
Themes: everyday life, history, women, Europe, France, children, education, Renaissance, Enlightenment, 16th century, 17th century, 18th century.
Available at: Amazon / Harvard University Press
A History of Private Life, Volume IV: From the Fires of Revolution to the Great War, Edited by Michelle Perrot, Series edited by Phillippe Ariès, Harvard University Press, 1993, ISBN 9780674400030
The first part is 18th century and deals with life pre, during and after French Revolution.
Themes: everyday life, history, women, Europe, France, children, education, Enlightenment, French Revolution, Victorian, Belle Epoque, WWI, 18th century, 19th century, 20th century.
Available at: Amazon / Harvard University Press
Black London: Life Before Emancipation, by Gretchen Gerzina, Rutgers University Press, 1995, ISBN-10: 0813522722
A glimpse into the lives of the thousands of Africans living in eighteenth century London.
Themes: everyday life, history, race, black, African, England, London, slavery, 18th century.
Available at: Amazon / You can also download it for FREE (ha! who needs Amazon now?)
Historia De La Vida Cotidiana En México 3: El siglo XVIII: entre la tradición y el cambio, by Pilar Gonzalbo Aizpuru, Fondo de Cultura Económica, 2012. ISBN-10: 9681677188
Common life in Mexico during the 18th century, from fashion, food and the markets, to the everyday life of mining cities, children and monks. This is book is a key reference for starting to read about the life of common people in the New Spain. Part of a series from the prehispanic times to the 20th century.
Themes: fashion, food, everyday life, New Spain, Mexico, Viceroyalty, The Americas, castas, mining, religion, catholicism, education, childhood, 18th century.
Available at: Amazon / Cambridge University Press / Fondo de Cultura Económica
FASHION
Auguste Racinet. The Costume History (Bibliotheca Universalis), Françoise Tétart-Vittu, Taschen, 2019, ISBN-10: 3836555409
I wanted to describe my undying love for this book, but I’m just gonna copy Taschen’s description: “Racinet’s Costume History is a landmark in the study of clothing and fashion. This reprint presents Racinet’s exquisitely precise color illustrations, as well as his delightful descriptions and witty commentary. From Eskimo attire to high French couture, this is an unrivalled encyclopedia for students, designers, artists, illustrators, and historians, and anyone interested in style.” So, yeah, this 19th century book rules.
Themes: fashion, interior design, furniture, 18th century, 19th century, fashion history, ancient times, middle ages, renaissance, baroque, rococo, victorian, menswear, womenswear.
Available at: Amazon / Taschen
Costume in Detail: 1730-1930, Nancy Bradfield, Quite Specific Media Group Ltd, 1999, ISBN-10: 0896762173
Focused on womenswear, Nancy Bradfield shares with all of us detailed illustrations and descriptions, as well as good information about fashion, garments, shapes, finishings, etc, of extant garments in private collections. A wonderful reference book for reproducing fashion and for illustrations or authors who want to give their character accurate fashion.
Themes: fashion,womenswear, extant garments, 18th century, 19th century, 20th century.
Available at: Amazon / Book Depository
Dangerous Liaisons: Fashion and Furniture in the Eighteenth Century, by Harold Koda, Andrew Bolton, Mimi Hellman, Metropolitan Museum of Art 2006, ISBN-10: 0300107145
The book from a long gone exhibition at the Met Museum, it has extant clothes, good info, and the links between fashion and furniture design that make us perceive both as purely 18th century.
Themes: fashion, interior design, furniture, museum collections, extant garments, exhibition, 18th century.
Available at: Amazon / Metropolitan Museum of Art
Fashion, A history from the 18th to the 20th century, by Akiko Fukai, Taschen 25th anniversary edition, 2007.
A basic fashion history book starting in the 18th century from the amazing collection of the Kyoto Costume Institute.
Themes: fashion, womenswear, menswear, embroidery, accessories, museum collection, extant garments, England, France, Europe, undergarments, 18th century, 19th century, 20th century.
Available at: Amazon in 1 volume and 2 volumes set.
Gallery of Late-Seventeenth-Century Costume: 100 Engravings, Caspar Luyken, Dover Publications, 2003, ISBN-10: 0486429865
Reprint of a collection of plates by Dutch engraver Caspar Luyken published in 1694. It shows men and women of different social classes and occupations. A key reference when looking for 17th century contemporary source material.
Themes: fashion, menswear, womenswear, Dutch, engraving, plates, 17th century, baroque, late 17th century, contemporary source.
Available at: Amazon / Dover Books
Historic Costumes and How to Make Them (Dover Fashion and Costumes), by Mary Fernald and Eileen Shenton, Dover Publications, 2006, ISBN-10: 0486449068
From the Middle Ages to the 19th century fashion, this book is a nice resource for theatrical costuming and has good but basic bits of historical fashion information. I recommend not to buy with no previous patternmaking and fashion background, since the diagrams are quite vague, and the descriptions even more. I personally only have used this book for reference of Medieval and early Renaissance fashion (which to be fair, are quite simple). Also, it is centered in English fashions.
Themes: fashion, theatre, menswear, womenswear, middle ages, renaissance, tudors, elizabethan, georgian, victorian, 15th century, 16th century, 17th century, 18th century, 19th century.
Available at: Amazon / Barnes and Noble / Dover Publications / Waterstones
How to Read a Dress, A Guide to Changing Fashion from the 16th to the 20th Century, Lydia Edwards, Bloomsbury Academic, 2017, ISBN-10: 1472533275
This books is very pretty and rather basic, it could be a really nice starting point for anyone getting an interest in fashion history. I’ve read reviews that it is “insultingly basic” which I do not get, I mean, if you cannot explain something in such a basic way that a child can get it, then you do not really master that subject. This books has pretty interesting info and it is a walkthrough of key silhouettes and extant garments, so it is not deeply detailed nor shows each and every silhouette of every decade of every century.
Themes: fashion, womenswear, gown, dresses, extant garments, museums, Europe, 16th century, 17th century, 18th century, 19th century, 20th century.
Available at: Amazon / Bloomsbury
Men's Garments 1830-1900: A Guide to Pattern Cutting and Tailoring, R. I. Davis and William-Alan Landes, Players Press, 1996, ISBN-10: 0887346480
A whole book only for menswear starting with the Regency silhouette and its very particular form until the turn of the 20th century. Yes. It is pretty good, I have to say, for all our Victorian outfit needs for the gentleman. I recommend this book (and the 2nd one on 19th and 20th centuries) for people with some knowledge of construction, grading, fitting, patternmaking, and tailoring, since it does not offer much sewing advice.
Themes: fashion, menswear, accessories, patternmaking, plates, 19th century, 20th century.
Available at: Amazon / Waterstones
Men's Seventeenth & Eighteenth Century Costume: Cut and Fashion, R. I. Davis and William-Alan Landes, Players Press, 2000, ISBN-10: 0887346375
My personal love for menswear is fueled by this book that details the suits, coats and tailcoats from the 17th and 18th centuries. It includes military fashion and other everyday clothes like breeches, capes, waistcoats, etc. via plates, figures, diagrams and texts. I recommend this book (and the 1st one on 19th and 20th centuries) for people with some knowledge of construction, grading, fitting, patternmaking, and tailoring, since it does not offer much sewing advice.
Themes: fashion, menswear, accessories, patternmaking, plates, 17th century, 18th century.
Available at: Amazon / Book Depository
Patterns of Fashion 1: Englishwomen's Dresses and Their Construction C. 1660-1860, by Janet Arnold, Drama Publishers, 2005, ISBN-10: 9780896760264
THE key source of patterns of extant garments, this series of books are the result of constant research on garments from museums, with details and info on construction, history and fashion details. You know, the kind of information you could only get with those garments in your hands.
So, as a resume, in this list there’s only the books with 18th century info in them, BUT you should actually have ALL of the Patterns of Fashion books.
Themes: fashion, womenswear, England, extant garments, museums, Europe, patternmaking, 17th century, 18th century, 19th century.
Available at: Amazon
Patterns of Fashion 5: the content, cut, construction & contexto of bodies, stays, hoops & rumps, c 1595-1795, by Janet Arnold, Jenny Tiramani, Luca Costigliolo, Sebastien Passot, Armelle Lucas and Johannes Pietsch, The School of Historical Dress, 2019
The new book from the series is about undergarments from the 16th to the 18th century. It is only available through the store of the School of Historical Dress. Probably the best spent £35.
Themes: fashion, undergarments, stays, womenswear, England, extant garments, museums, Europe, patternmaking, 16th century, 17th century, 18th century.
Available at: The School of Historical Dress
Pictorial Encyclopedia of Historic Costume: 1200 Full-Color Figures, Karl Rohrbach (Author), Albert Kretschmer (Compiler), Dover Fashion and Costumes, 2007, ISBN-10: 0486461424
A reprint of Die Trachten Der Völker from 1906, this book, this is a great great encyclopedic work of fashion history, from ancient Egypt to late 19th century. It includes clothes for people of different social backgrounds, accessories, jewels, shoes, etc. I think that for the fashion history lover, the Rohrbach+Racinet combo is a must.
Themes: fashion, interior design, furniture, 18th century, 19th century, fashion history, ancient times, middle ages, renaissance, baroque, rococo, victorian, menswear, womenswear.
Available at: Amazon / Dover Publications
The Lady's Guide to Plain Sewing, Book I, Kathleen Kannik, ISBN 10: 0-9640161-0-9
References and tips for plain hand sewing, a key reference to achieve basic stitches that are historically accurate. It includes basic construction of items and some decorative techniques. Many of these techniques are still used in couture. This book is part 1 of a set of 4.
Themes: fashion, undergarments, womenswear, menswear, sewing, stitches, techniques, how to, patternmaking, 17th century, 18th century, 19th century, 20th century, couture.
Available at: Kannik’s Korner / Amazon (kindle edition) / Amazon
The Lady's Guide to Plain Sewing, Book II, Kathleen Kannik, ISBN 0-9640161-2-5
More sewing stuff with additional stitches and seam techniques, gather attachments, button making, gussets, re-enforcements, cord making, and an 18th century alphabet for cross stitching. This book is part 2 of a set of 4.
Themes: fashion, undergarments, womenswear, menswear, sewing, stitches, techniques, how to, patternmaking, 17th century, 18th century, 19th century, couture.
Available at: Kannik’s Korner / Amazon
The Workman's Guide to Tailoring Stitches and Techniques, Kathleen Kannik, ISBN 0-9640161-4-1
Now it’s time for historical tailoring stitches and techniques. This book is part 3 of a set of 4.
Themes: fashion, tailoring, menswear, sewing, stitches, techniques, how to, patternmaking, 17th century, 18th century, 19th century.
Available at: Kannik’s Korner / Amazon
The Lady's Economical Assistant or, The Art of Cutting Out, and Making, The most useful Articles of Wearing Apparel, Without waste; Explained by the Clearest directions, and Numerous Engravings, of Appropriate and Tasteful Patterns, ISBN 0-9640161-3-3
A re-drawn publication of a 1808 book, with cutting directions and patterns for infant clothes, girls, boys, some for men and women, and linens. Many illustrations and a supplement. This book is part 4 of a set of 4.
Themes: fashion, undergarments, kidswear, children, babies, infants, womenswear, menswear, sewing, stitches, techniques, how to, patternmaking, 17th century, 18th century, 19th century.
Available at: Kannik’s Korner / Amazon
The American Duchess Guide to 18th Century Dressmaking: How to Hand Sew Georgian Gowns and Wear Them With Style, by Lauren Stowell and Abby Cox, Page Street Publishing, 2017, ISBN-10: 1624144535
This book is such a good starting point for a 18th century wardrobe, since it walks you through the key outfits of the century in a simple and clear way. I think a background in patternmaking is a plus, especially for the most complex projects, but the basics are easy to follow.
Themes: fashion, patternmaking, how to, womenswear, 18th century.
Available at: Amazon / American Duchess
BEAUTY
18th Century Hair & Wig Styling: History & Step-by-Step Techniques, Kendra Van Cleave, Nice One, ISBN-10: 0692220437
Kendra van Cleave have been everyone’s guide into the 18th century beauty and hair (and of course, costuming) for quite a long time, thanks to her blog, Démodé, and now she published this well researched book with easy to follow instructions for all kinds of 18th century hairstyles. So, go get your wig and get to work. Also, at the book’s website there some videos, and at her blog you can find even more resources, tutorials, etc.
Themes: fashion, beauty, hair, wigs, 18th century, how to.
Available at: Amazon / 18th Century Hair Website
The American Duchess Guide to 18th Century Beauty: 40 Projects for Period-Accurate Hairstyles, Makeup and Accessories, by Lauren Stowell and Abby Cox, Page Street Publishing, 2019, ISBN-10: 1624147860
I KNOW this is not available yet, but I think it will be at least as good as the fashion one. Already on my pre-order list, it will be available on July 9th.
Themes: hair, hairstyles, hair and makeup, makeup, accessories, how to, womenswear, 18th century.
Available at: Amazon / American Duchess
#sometimes I write stuff#books#my 18th century library#or something#18th century#fashion#history#beauty
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The Tale of Steven - Outline & Review
The Tale of Steven is a wonderful, timeless-feeling storybook about identity, authority, and finding your own way. It's got an innovative design that requires the reader to turn the book upside-down, sideways, and right-side-up to get the whole story, sometimes all on the same spread of art and text, and as we come to find out ultimately, this "tale of Steven" really is STEVEN'S story.
We begin with White Diamond, matriarch of the Gem homeworld, setting the stage--and not only does she frame the other Diamonds uncharitably (especially the littlest Diamond, Pink), she even sets the tone by admonishing THE READER straight away, scolding us to turn the book her way to read her words. (We must turn the book upside-down to read her perspective. Very nice.)
As we listen to White Diamond tell us how ridiculous Pink Diamond is and frame her as "impossible to understand," we also see exactly why Pink felt driven to leave her home. White apparently appointed herself the authority on keeping Pink in her place, and we're treated to White's huge pale hands holding little Pink Diamond in her tiny pink throne, “right”-side-up. White's perspective is proper, and she is to be praised, you see, for understanding that Pink's desires and attributes are not worthwhile and need to be forced out of her. Pink is shown as having run away to Earth and reinventing herself as a new Gem: Rose Quartz. Suddenly, we are able to turn the book sideways and see what she's thinking too. (White does NOT approve.)
The Earth, where Rose Quartz is allowed to love herself and love her surroundings, is simultaneously called "grotesque" by White, and we're seeing the same planet through two sets of eyes. White sees Rose as "stubborn" and "absurd," while Rose just gives us an aside about not listening to White if we don't want to and giving us a choice to read the book her way. As Rose continues to depict rainbows and falling in love with a human--Greg Universe--White is getting angrier. She shrieks, "You're ruining my story!" Rose, rightly, replies, "This isn't your story."
Soon, Rose has bequeathed her Gem--the center of her being--to her half-human son, Steven, with the consequence of ceasing to be herself. Baby Steven appears with his father and Rose Quartz's three companions--Amethyst, Garnet, and Pearl. White Diamond finally abandons trying to narrate this story, escaping with a vindictive comment and an attempt to frame Rose as simply Pink Diamond hiding "inside an unwitting creature." Rose's perspective expresses that she wanted her son to experience the love and acceptance she never received. And then, Steven's perspective pops onto the scene. We can now turn the book fully right-side-up to read his tale.
As the story slides fully into Steven's perspective, Rose's hopes for him still line up on the sides of the pages, longing for him to experience kindness, to never know the awfulness she went through on Homeworld, to never have to feel the criticism issued by the other Diamonds, and to be able to tell his own story one day. Steven reflects on Rose's influence on his life, how he's heard about her and the more truth he's discovered the more everything frightens him. There are many perspectives, he recognizes. Perhaps there is more than one way to read the story.
White's perspective, upside-down now, returns alongside all this. She suggests "Pink" has come crawling back to turn the world the "right" way again, and she's puzzled by Steven's appearance, but she's determined to rescue Pink from herself by separating Steven from his Gem. Meanwhile, Steven's been wondering what his relationship is to Pink and Rose--is she inside him? Is he actually her? What's real?
But they all learn the truth when Steven's Gem reveals that he was also Steven inside there. All along, he was himself and no one else. This is, and has always been, his story, and he has been right about who he is.
Several wordless frames depict Steven's two aspects finding each other, reconnecting, and becoming one again. Newly confident in who he is and having asserted as much in the face of crushing authority, Steven declares, "This way feels right to me." The orientation of the book AND the definition of himself are the focus here, and for the first time, White begins to consider that her perspective was the wrong side up in someone else's story.
Steven closes by claiming the book as his own (writing his own name in the "This Book Belongs To" space, which is superimposed over a Diamond Authority symbol with the Pink Diamond on top instead of on the bottom). The end dedication is made out "To Trans & Gender-Expansive Kids."
To reflect on this sentiment and the rest of the book, I will say that a large portion of the Steven Universe fandom already recognized some threads of a trans allegory in the animation this is based on. Steven, though he is not specifically depicted as a confirmed trans character in the show, does not demonstrate or seem to experience toxic masculinity in association with his quest to be powerful, and has no qualms about using symbolism, iconography, and apparel that is more commonly associated in today's Western society with women and girls (e.g., the color pink, flower symbolism, protective and defensive rather than aggressive and offensive behaviors, wearing jewelry and dresses occasionally without it being a gag). His assertion that he is Steven and not Pink Diamond or Rose Quartz has many parallels with a common trans narrative--including pronouns that the Diamonds refused to respect--even though it is also its own thing since human beings do not have to defend that they are not literally their mother.
They do, however, frequently struggle with authorities in their lives "correcting" them on who and what they are "for their own good," brushing off the seriousness of the misery it causes, and these children do find themselves forced to wear clothes, use names, and adhere to roles that do not match who they are. They even sometimes hear authorities mourn the "loss" of a different-gender version of them and accuse the child of being selfish for wanting to manifest their truth instead of being the son or daughter the parent thought they had.
It is my deepest hope that authorities like this can learn to turn the book around.
It is so important for children to learn that they ARE the authority on their identity, and while some well-meaning authorities in their lives may frame their identity as a phase or a fake, they do not have to accept this view of the world, or even that it comes from a loving place. White Diamond did not sound like a stern but caring figure to me. She sounded like a tyrant who is convinced of her own correctness, determined to gaslight and shame Pink Diamond into becoming the person SHE wanted. Love is listening. Love is nurturing. Love is seeing pleasure and pain and letting those things guide you in supporting a happy existence. Kids whose gender is complicated and young people who develop misunderstood identities need books like this to center them in their own stories and empower them to show others how to read their book.
Except for the section of the book where Steven's organic self and Gem self are separated and re-combine, the message is solid for readers who have not watched the show. But because of how important that wordless series of panels is and how much background you actually have to have to understand what's happening there, I recommend this book primarily for fans of the show who have seen "Change Your Mind" and the episodes that support it. The other depictions are more powerful and illuminating for those who have context from the show also, but the main purpose of the book can be readily understood without that background.
If you haven't seen the show, all you need to know is that Steven is a hybrid Gem/human who has a gemstone in his human body, and it gives him superhuman powers. Gem characters generate a body from their Gem, while Steven's body is organic and presumably NOT generated from the Gem. White Diamond removed Steven's Gem from his belly, expecting Pink Diamond to take form out of the Gem. She thought his organic half was just a human that the Gem was stuck in. But instead, a Pink Steven emerged and went back to his organic self to merge again, proving that he is Steven, not someone else, through and through. And he truly loves and knows himself.
A couple other notes fans of the show might enjoy: White Diamond's hypothesis that Pink Diamond was "hiding in an unwitting creature" is really interesting--she knew what Steven was but believed he was just a normal human hosting a Gem. Interesting. White's disdain toward Yellow and Blue for "spoiling" Pink is an interesting addition to what we know about her, too. Pink is pictured standing on her hands on her throne, upside-down, which is interesting since it's both "silly" and an expression of her right-side-up perspective (since, when we obey White, we're reading the book upside-down!). White's commentary that she kept Pink in line is also interesting, considering we've seen way more of how Yellow and Blue treated her and none of that was very nice either (yet they're the "nice" ones in this story, indulging her even though we know they abused her). There's a really cute image of Rose lounging on the beach with Greg in what looks like a swimsuit. Connie is in a frame with the Gems looking through a telescope. And there's a frame with Garnet holding pink and blue butterflies.
Inventive, beautiful, moving, and so necessary. Buy a copy. Let kids turn the book around.
[SU Book and Comic Reviews]
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Sweet Elite Chapter 8
So I have finally finished playing the last chapter! You would think I’d hate playing a game where I’m in school when IRL college is kicking my ass, but to each their own, LOL.
Anyways, I finished playing it and though I found it enjoyable, I’m not all that sure I truly enjoyed it. I normally don’t make my own reviews of the game and just leave comments on ones posted by others, but I decided to post it because why not!
If you’re interested in a spoiler filled review, just click that “keep reading” below ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓
First off, I like to write my little fanfics for my enjoyment (I’ve never posted any of them, but I have them in existence via USB lol). I’m probably gonna reference what I’ve written for Tadashi’s arc for comparison, so don’t try looking for them!
When I play Sweet Elite, I also like to record my screen so I can keep track of my choices (and compare what happens to what I wrote). A single playthrough for the first time and this is the longest I’ve spent on a chapter, a whole 2 hours and a half! Not a bad thing of course considering it was a major arc and expected to be on the longer side. But I feel like for the length, I didn’t get much Love Interest interactions because you’re forced to spend fairly equal amount of time with everyone (I played on my Tadashi account first since I had the most AP on that one).
I shall start with things I liked about the chapter, which wasn’t much to be honest?
1 - Tadashi not knowing what the Grammy’s was is hilarious to me (and also kinda sad because that kinda shows how much of a childhood he lacked since the average person would at least know the name!). That whole interaction was nice to see since it showed TadAxel having a non-arguing conversation, but the “Granny’s” was a major highlight.
2 - Neha hinting once again that she might be a scholarship student (because mentioning that scholarship students don’t have to advertise that they’re one is a major thing to introduce and not expect me to run with). And I interpreted how she responded to Karolina supporting Tadashi despite the scandal more of her being a bit jealous because I can only imagine how she’d react if Neha actually is a scholarship student (though Tadashi becoming one himself might soften Karolina up into accepting that your parents’ money doesn’t make you almighty).
3 - Ellie just being Ellie. Lordy she’s adorably terrifying and those are the best short friends to have because they keep you on your toes (and are totally down to hunting for the obscure or raiding Area 451).
4 - Tyler basically being how I felt playing as Scholar because the whole “I’m not doing shit while everyone else is offering something major in their super-awesome ways” was easy to recognize with.
So my first complaint is the convoluted plan to get Tadashi proven innocent/uninvolved in Hiroshi’s yakuza crap. I get the whole lie to the dad to make him think he’s on his side thing since it would get him half of his money back. But what I envisioned in my head and wrote down centered around my Scholar recording the conversation between Tadashi and his dad (which Tadashi did himself, which still makes it a viable plot-point) and them using the script/email from the lawyer and the bank statements of his dad taking all of his money to show him as a victim?
The video idea wasn’t bad and was also something I wrote for my BCP Scholar fanfiction (she’s marketing and PR with her own little company managing social media accounts, so the idea and image control was her main addition to help out). So I don’t know if I’m just being my biased ass self and preferring my solution (release the proof of blackmail, show Tadashi is a victim, have Tegan hack Nakano Corp.’s CCTV/security footage to get timestamps of Tadashi not being present for mafia meetings, have him testify against his father).
None of what was shown in the video could have really proven any sort of innocence to be honest. Tadashi could’ve easily pulled whatever texts and emails he wanted, so unless he showed the one from the lawyer essentially extorting him to testify in his father’s favor, I don’t see how that on its own would have helped with anything.
Adding the recording to the beginning of the video during editing would have been something to warrant all the positive response to the video. I know the recording is used to try and force Nakahoe Senior into giving Tadashi the rest of his money, but it was also the only logical way to prove Tadashi was without a doubt a victim too (and Tegan could easily get the money back himself or there could have been something about the mom, which I’m gonna talk about later in this post).
IRL, people would point out that Tadashi could easily be lying through his teeth about not being involved. So that’s kind of a plot-hole since getting the public to see Tadashi in a positive light is important to getting the school board to let him stay (which was incredibly dumb to me because are you really gonna tell me there aren’t students at the school with openly corrupt/mafia/mob/gangster parents using dirty money to keep their children in attendance???) (yes, Jack, I’m talking about your ass).
I could understand forcing him to step down as student body president since Arlington has the position kinda Anime styled where the president is the face of the school and has an absurd amount of responsibility and power (as proven by Ellie’s story of the previous president and the fact that Tadashi can veto someone getting academic amnesty). Them removing him from office was something I expected (though my fanfic had him helping pick a replacement for the rest of the year since that’s how it was done at my old private school). But not wanting him to attend school even though his family could easily pay for his tuition was very out there to me. I suppose having someone with a negative reputation could reflect badly on a top school, but I’m pretty sure private schools need justifications to expel someone and expelling them based on their parents actions seems very illegal to me.
But anyways, the super computer plot to hack Nakahoe Senior’s information was also very weird to me. I justified it by telling myself Scholar is in a school of super rich, super intelligent teenagers, so maybe the most simple approach doesn’t come to mind (I know first hand that smart people have a tendency to overlook the simple solutions without meaning to). It makes sense to make their own computer to not be traced overall, but the purpose it was needed for didn’t make much sense in the grand scheme of things (because they didn’t really use the information they found, so what was the point of finding it other than being a hundred percent sure on Hiroshi being corrupt?).
And then while I was playing and listening to my commentary, I again was reminded about how confused I was that calling Hiroshi in jail and keeping him on the line long enough to trace the transaction was necessary? Because I don’t think that’s how that works? If it was to track his location, then maybe, but I don’t think Tegan would need Tadashi to keep Hiroshi on the line to trace a bank transaction or get into Hiroshi’s accounts (but that’s me being nitpicky I think).
Then what they found, IE the gibberish in the calendar descrambling to “Yakuza” was a major asspull while I was playing. I wondered why Nakahoe Senior, AKA the Inglorious Bastard and Chessmaster of the arc, would make it so obvious? Let alone actually put that in his planer... If there was a meeting every Friday evening, I figured introducing this would at least lead to something where Tegan finds a way to prove Tadashi wasn’t present or active even phone call wise because he could get the call logs too. Yeah, the emails are important, but wouldn’t footage or flights be better at proving he wasn’t there?
Then Tadashi’s mother, who was never truly introduced, but teased really. It was set up in a way that my fanfic had Nakahoe Senior threatening to setup Tadashi for the fall if she didn’t convince him to testify in Hiroshi’s favor because Alistair mentions how protective she normally is of Tadashi and even Tadashi says that his mom was frantic over the phone. So I don’t know, I was hoping for something with her since she was brought up.
But my major complaint about the story was that Scholar has little influence on what goes on. At first, I thought there would be options based on your Department and maybe your choices during the Department Competition (you pick your concentration during the presentation). Essentially, I was expecting to be asked to pick a task I would do best in (in this playthrough’s case, I expected to be able to help with PR because for the competition, I picked Sociology which is essential in marketing research).
I also expected something similar for others. Business would get to come up with a marketing and PR scheme, utilizing Axel, Karolina, and Neha. Performing Arts or Fine Arts would get to help edit and fine tune the video or make a smear campagne against Nakahoe Senior with Tyler and Raquel. Pure and Applied would get to code with Tegan or build with Ellie. Health Sciences (or any department because you’re Arlington’s Sweetheart) would get to work with Alistair (who knows Tadashi best) and Claire to make Tadashi’s script and showcase him to the world as a victim (which he really is in this situation).
But that didn’t happen. The only things Scholar really does is buy computer parts and talk to Claire and ask her to help Tadashi (and suggest Tadashi ask Neha for help too). Which was a major asspull because during that section before where the group is talking about who should help him write something from the heart, I was expecting (and super hyped for) Scholar to finally have the chance to be useful. They weren’t, not even for Tadashi’s campaigning since all that they did was talk to a few students (which I know is good for campaigning, but not really helpful in the grand scheme of things) (especially because by default, Scholar isn’t good at these things even if you’re in a department that’s necessary). I got really happy thinking Scholar would do anything that justifies them being involved as “human resources.”
Then being thanked for not really do anything but being the spectator and emotional support friend kinda bothered me. I’m all for that and sometimes you just need that one friend that’s good at being a support unit (AKA the mom). But even though Tadashi says that Scholar was his main inspiration to defy his parents, that’s not really helping him do that?
How was Scholar instrumental to anything going on? “Waste a couple hours finding pieces for a super computer, something anyone could search for because you can’t code or build things even if you’re in Pure and Applied,” “Go ask Claire to help Tadashi write his speech only for Tadashi to appear and ask her to himself because she would, by default, help anyways and you’re not good at writing a heartfelt speech (which Scholar technically isn’t, but should be if there were more options or at least acknowledged in this situation because why bring up the whole Arlington Sweetheart thing?),” “Get some rest, you deserve it even though you did absolutely nothing beside deliver the computer parts and suggest asking Neha to help.”
To be honest, Scholar may not be as static/pre-determined as most otome games, but Scholar doesn’t have much variety that actually impacts the story. What you’re good and bad at is already determined (like the essay and presentation; you’re automatically not good at it even if you’re Performing Arts or BCP and interested in things that, you know, require being able to give a good presentation).
I would prefer waiting longer to have more meaningful options than getting something quicker and not really being able to do much. Like during the competition where we eavesdrop on people and see the story unfold, that’s what this chapter pretty much was for me.
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Messy (M)
Pairing(s): OC X Johnny (features other members)
Genre: College AU, Fuckboy AU
Summary: Fuckboys are basically good for one thing. You hit it and quit it- except when his voice draws you in, his body keeps you there, and dumb ass feelings linger making things particularly messy.
Warnings: drugs, alcohol
Word Count: around 16k
A/N: ‘they’ and ‘she’ are used interchangeably on purpose.
Messy Masterlist Buy me a Ko-Fi Other Stories
Three months didn’t seem like a long time, especially with how fast summers usually flew by, but it felt like ages since my last hook up. Most of the guys in my “little black book” were away for the summer while I remained stuck in my stupid college town, holed up in my tiny apartment, only going out to suffer at my mediocre job. Meanwhile, my roommate had Tinder hookups out the ass and was gone almost every other night. I guess I couldn’t complain too much. I had always been pickier than them and maybe, just maybe, I had gotten used to my steady rotation of boy toys. Sooner or later I would have to break the cycle especially since there wasn’t any guarantee that I would see them this semester. Half of them still lived in the dorms because of the exchange student program which sometimes but a hamper on our hookups. I would probably have to get a new bunch to play around with and maybe once in awhile I could hit up an old fling or two when i was really bored. But right now I was suffering and unfortunately craving what I hadn’t had in months. A vibrator or my hand could only do so much. With my upcoming class schedule I felt like i wasn’t even going to have time for hookups no matter how badly I wanted them.
it was the first weekend of the new semester and already I was having sad and pathetic thoughts about my sex life. Thankfully, they were interrupted by my evening alarm going off. Since last semester, I had gotten into the habit of listening to student radio every Friday at midnight. Normally I would never take interest in radio as it was boring, uninteresting, and doused with political commentary but one show had caught my attention. It was pretty stereotypical; a steady rotation of songs, promoting local music shows, really annoying and irritatingly stupid comments and banter. Nothing too special- except for their voices. It was why I wasted many a nights in my room thrusting whatever instrument of pleasure inside me while I thought how good that voice would sound in my ear while the owner was fucking me from behind. I don’t know why I was so wrapped up in the way it sounded. I just knew the deep and husky tone was the most sensual thing I had ever heard.
I clicked on the radio app and gave it some time, letting the hosts mull over their introductions (the most annoying part) and settle into their planned topics. In between songs, i closed my eyes waiting for his voice to return before slowly creeping my hand into my pajama shorts. His laugh would send tingles throughout my body and I could always tell when he got closer to the microphone. I could hear his shallow breaths, soft clicks of his tongue, and that small hissing sound he made as he sucked air between his teeth when he was thinking about something. There was usually a little ‘hmm’ afterwards and i basically realized I had spent way to much fucking time thinking about it and way too much time jacking off to a disembodied voice that possibly could have belonged to someone ugly and no where near my type. Not that I had planned to meet him anyway but it would have been nice to put a hot face to the even hotter voice to fuel my wet dreams. The hour seemed to fly by and just at the tail end of their outro i came hard, his smooth chuckle fueling the quick circles I made to my clit while my other hand thrusted inside me. My back fell against the mattress, coming down from the small arch i made as I regained my breath. I sighed deeply, realizing i had to get up eventually to wash my hands. I exited out of the radio app and slowly peeled myself from the bed, tossing on my shorts to shuffle out to the bathroom.
My roommate, Quinn, was already sitting on the sofa in the living room, bowl of cereal in hand. “Did you jerk off to the radio show again?”
I threw my head back and sighed, cursing the day that I told them about my secret. Though we shared the same thrill of pleasuring ourselves to the pair of voices, I still felt a little embarrassed about it. “Yes Quinn. I did. Thank you very much for asking.”
“I mean, same. Got 3 out before the half hour mark.” They slurped the milk from the bowl and crunched away at the cereal, absentmindedly watching food shows on our modest sized tv.
“Jesus Christ.” I shook my head at their physical capacity, slightly jealous, but i guess i was more about quality over quantity. “We really gotta stop doing this. It’s kinda sad.” I half joked as i kicked the door to the bathroom partway shut and sat on the toilet.
“Not really. Besides I’m prepping for this semester.”
“Prepping for what? To sleep with everyone on campus?” I laughed.
“Precisely.” They responded in between another round of crunches. “Oh, by the way, Lucas just texted me about a party tomorrow. Well tonight. Want to go?”
“Who’s party is it?” I finished and washed my hands, shaking off the excess water as i headed over to the couch. I plopped down beside them.
“I don’t know. He just said it was some people he met over the welcoming weekend activity thingy. I guess they work for the radio station or something. Anyway, can we go? I wanna drink!” Quinn said.
“You mean, you want me to be D.D. while you and Lucas get hammered and I’m stuck dragging you two home again? No thank you.”
“Aww, c’mon! It’s not always like that! We let you have fun! Pllleeeaassseeeee! What if there’s hot guys there? Oh what if those radio guys are the ones Lucas met!” They gasped and stood up suddenly. “What if we could fuck the hot radio guys?!”
“Oh my god. How about we don’t and say we did? Besides, what if they're gross? I don’t have time for that significant of a let down.”
“Don’t be so mean. People with voices that hot are bound to be good looking.”
“Call me a shallow bitch because I hope to god so but knowing Lucas, they're probably some dumb frat fuckboys and I SEVERELY don’t have time for that. Regular fuckboys are fine, but fraternity ones are the devil.” I sighed and set my feet on the coffee table.
“Well you won’t know until you find out! Please? Please? Please? Please? Pleeeaasseeee?” They whined. “If all else fails you can just hook up with Lucas again!”
I groaned and rolled my eyes far back into my skull. “Fine! Fine. I will take you and Lucas to this party. But if ya’ll get drunk I am leaving you there. Point blank.”
“Ok. Ok. I promise I will try to not get black out drunk this time. I’ll behave.”
I scoffed, knowing damn well that promise wouldn’t be kept and I would still be dragging their ass home at three am with Lucas in my backseat. Suddenly I heard my phone ping from in my room, signaling that I had received a text message. I hauled myself up from the couch with a groan and grabbed it from atop my bed. Well, speak of the devil.
Dumbass Baby Lucas: wyd?
--
I woke up sometime in the late afternoon with Lucas’ arm strewn across my face and him snoring into one of my pillows. I pushed his arm off me and felt around the floor for my phone, groaning as I felt the soreness of my thighs which was partly from the exertion and partly because i had to be squished to the edge of my small bed to accommodate Lucas’ giant frame. I managed to find my phone and turn the screen on, wincing at the bright light that illuminated my face. I sighed softly, realizing I had to get up at some point, take a shower, eat, and be at least semi productive. Otherwise I would stay home and just fuck Lucas some more and my body needed a few hours to recover before the party. Suddenly I felt his arm wrapped around my waist pulling me close to his warm broad chest. He was always such a cuddler.
“It’s 4 in the afternoon.” I mumbled.
“Yeah, so?” He replied, partly muffled as his lips were buried in the crook of neck and shoulders. “Party’s not until later, we have all day.”
“i would like to get up and eat something at some point in time. And shower. Which you should too. You smell funky.”
“Can we shower together?” I could feel the smirk imprinting my skin.
“You know damn well we cant. As soon as we get in there you won’t keep your hands to yourself and I wont actually get clean.”
“You know i hate keeping my hands to myself. Besides I missed you. You've been stuck here and I couldn't fuck you or Quinn all summer!”
“Boohoo, you big baby. You'll be fine without one shower fuck.” I sat up and rubbed the sleep from my eyes, yawning deeply. I shone my phones flashlight on the floor so I could guide my way to my room’s lightswitch when something caught my eye. “Lucas.” I growled.
He let out a childish groan. “Whaaaattt?”
“Didnt i tell you to throw the condoms IN the trashcan?”
“I did!”
“No, you didn’t. You threw them on the floor and now they’re all over my carpet!” I gave his bicep a hard whack. “Get up and clean it!”
He held his arm wincing at the sharp sting. “Ok! Ok! I’m going!”
I turned on the light and grabbed my robe, pulling it on and shuffling out to the kitchen. Quinn was attempting to make breakfast, the smell of burning bread and melting cheese in the air. They took one look at me and shook their head. “Why are you so grumpy? Your dry spell is over no?”
“Lucas didn’t throw any of the condoms in the trashcan that’s literally right beside the bed and they're all over the floor now.”
“Eww, like the used ones?”
“Yes. Cum and all. Go handle your dumbass best friend before I strangle him.”
“Ok, I’m going. Just watch my grilled cheese.” Quinn sighed as they put the spatula down and trudged over to my room. I looked over the grilled cheese, nudging it with the spatula and checking the underside. Way overdone. I sighed and grabbed a plate from the cabinet, sliding the sandwich onto it before retreating to our fridge. It was the end of the month which meant no food as always. The last of the cheese gone. I looked over at the two ends of bread left in the bag on the counter. Last of the bread gone. My stomach growled loudly and i slammed the fridge shut. I didn’t have money but if I begged hard enough I could convince Quinn to let me use their credit card to buy pizza.
I went back to my room, almost kicking the door open as I heard Lucas’ pouty puppy whine which was probably the result of not getting enough cuddles this morning. He was always so needy when he was sleepy.
“How much money you got?” i asked.
Lucas had gathered the condoms in his hand, finally tossing them in the trash before wiping his hand on his thigh. “Uh...i mean like i got my refund check?”
“No I meant Quinn. How much money do you have on your credit card. I’m hungry, there’s no food, and I need pizza and another 6-pack. I’m running low since Lucas’ drank most of them last night.”
“I have enough. Don’t worry.” They replied.
“I’ll give you money for them i swear!” Lucas interjected. “Or maybe more head? For like a week straight?”
“Head doesn't get me tipsy Lucas. But you can still do that if you want.” I smirked before turning to Quinn. “Can you order it please? I want to shower first.”
“Yeah, yeah...i burnt my dang sandwich anyway.”
“Sweet.” I grabbed my towel from the hook behind my door and shuffled over to the bathroom, feeling the looming presence behind me. “Lucas.” I said sternly.
“I have to pee! Cant I pee?!”
I glared back at him. “Fine. But get out once you're done.” i tossed off my robe and stepped into the shower, yanking the curtain harshly so i could block his view of me. I was ready to have the cool water on my skin to wipe away all the sticky sweat from my body. It was already too hot today.
“Where's the toothbrush i keep here?” he asked after flushing.
“In the medicine cabinet” i grumbled. “Where it's always at.”
I set myself right under the spray of water letting it flow over my hair. My purple dye was looking more like a grayish lavender, making me frown. I was going to look like a hot mess at the first party of the year. Wonderful. Suddenly, Lucas’ hand was in the shower, holding my toothbrush and toothpaste in his fist. He scared the shit out of me but i took them anyway, grateful to get morning breath and the taste of his dick out my mouth.
“When does this stupid party start?” I asked between scrubbing my teeth.
“Whenever we wanna go.” He pulled back the curtain and stepped into the shower making me groan.
“What did i just say?”
He kissed my cheek before picking me up and moving me to the other end of the tub. “Whatever. You love me.” He stuck himself under the shower head while i leaned against the tiled wall in the cold spot.
“Hurry up and get out so i can finish.” I nudged him so he would move out of the trajectory of my toothpaste clouded spit.
“I will.” he said, stepping out of the way. “Quinn and I have got some catching up to do anyway.” He winked at me before leaning over to get the bar of soap in the shower caddy beside me. “You could join us if you want.”
“Not today. Too tired for that.”
“Boo, you're no fun.” He gave me a quick kiss but hovered a little longer by my lips.
“I think the ‘Oh fuck, Eri! SHIT! YES!YES!OH GOD FUCK YES!’ said otherwise, no? Loud ass.” I gave him a slower kiss this time, cupping his chin in my hand while his instantly went to my ass, grabbing it harshly and pulling me closer.
“Are you sure we cant have a little fun in the shower?” he whispered. He placed soft kisses all over my neck and chest making his way lower until he was onto his knees. I saw his brown puppy dog eyes look up at me and he knew i couldn't resist.
“Fine. But just a little bit, ok?” I held his head close as he dove between my thighs, sighing softly as he did what he knew how to do best.
--
Lucas practically ran to the back of the apartment building following the sound of obnoxiously loud music. There were sliding doors that were wide open letting people flow in and out of the first floor apartment to the community pool close by. Wafts of smoke circled the party goers as they chugged bottles of beer, laughing and dancing as they went. “Hurry up!” Lucas called out to Quinn and I. Quinn was a bit faster and more enthusiastic while I took my time, shifting around someone who was already too drunk to function. It was only 10:30 too.
I finally stepped into the apartment, instantly annoyed by the smell of cheap weed and the remixed versions of some top 40 hits blaring from a macbook and speaker hookup. Before i could even make a complaint Lucas was shoving a bottle of apple ale into my hand while Quinn scoped out the party for their next target. “I'm gonna go find the guys I met. I'll be right back!” Lucas screamed over the music. I nodded and waved him off, my eyes honing in at the free bar stool by the kitchen counter. Quinn had followed Lucas leaving me on my own as usual.
I sat down on the bar stool and sipped my ale slowly, having to pace myself in order to be able to drive everyone home. I rested my chin on my hand as i scrolled through my instagram, already yawning and wanting to go back to bed. Even though i slept for about 12 hours i had still spent the night tossing and turning and getting woken up to wandering fingers between my thighs. I took another sip and double tapped my screen, liking some random makeup pic. I barely even noticed the person slide beside me until a plastic shot glass was waved in my face. I moved my head back, surprised at the intrusion before I saw who was offering it. Fuuuuuccckk.
“Well if it isn't my favorite kitten. I didn't know you'd be here.”
“Hi, Ten.” I groaned. He nudged the shot glass towards me again and I took it, knowing i would need it for this conversation.
“Almost didn't recognize you without your collar on.”
“You took the leather one back home, remember?” I rolled my eyes and tossed the shot back, wincing at the burn. “I got stuck with the pink one with the giant bell. Which is not subtle at all by the way.”
“Who said anything about wanting to be subtle?” he took a sip from his solo cup and tapped his fingers on the plastic. “You're my kitten after all.”
“And you’re my puppy whenever you want to not be a brat.” I stole his cup and tossed back a heavy gulp. “What the fuck are you even drinking?” I asked, feeling the sweet and sour taste on my tongue.
“Jungle juice. Whatever favor the purple one is. Anyway...so what's your semester look like?”
“Want to see when I can pencil you in to fuck?” I stated flatly knowing that he wasn't one to beat around the bush.
“Yep.”
“You still rooming with Yuta?”
“What about Yuta?” An arm was tossed around my shoulder and i was pulled into Yuta's chest without warning.
“Is everyone i've ever fucked here??” i almost screamed. Yuta and Ten both looked around.
“Well, there's me, Ten, Taeyong, Lucas and uh….Jungwoo.”
My eyes went wide. “You're shitting me. Please tell me Jungwoo is not actually here.”
“Oh you better believe it.” Ten smirked. “You're number one heartbreaker, honey. Congrats on still being the source of his vendetta for almost the third year in a row.”
“More drinks please. I can't do this right now.” I rubbed my temples while Yuta just laughed at me. Ten retreated to the kitchen, wiggling his smaller frame through some people and filling up a cup with another flavor of jungle juice.
“Aww, Eri. Don't pout. He's just going to hate you for all eternity that's all.” Yuta dug his hand into the bowl of chips in front of me, shoveling them into his mouth. “So like…” He paused to chew and swallow. “When can i tie you up again?” He didn't even look me in the eye when he asked, just took another sip of his beer.
“Gee, i dont know. I had a dry spell for the entire summer and now suddenly everyone I've ever fucked is at this party and i have to get a planner for my dick appointments.” I kinda laughed, trying my best to loosen up. I especially couldn't resist Yuta's smile that made me feel as if the sun radiated from him.
“You complaining about how much you get laid now? When has that ever been a problem for you?” He leaned in closer, his lips dangerously close to mine. I pulled away before he could sneak the kiss that he wanted.
“i'm not complaining, i guess I'm just a busy person after all. Still got it.” I smirked as Yuta nudged me.
“We fuck you because of your devil vagina magic and because you do just about everything.”
“Ok, first of all, it's not devil vagina magic. Second of all, am i the one who had a fucking machine in his dorm room last year? No.”
“Yeah but you're one it got used on.” Ten interrupted. He set my cup in front of me while he and Yuta put me between them like some sort of kink sandwich.
“Yes, thank you for your input, Ten.” I could feel my cheeks flushing as I remembered that wild session that lasted over six hours.
“Dont you mean ‘sir’?” Yuta chimed in.
I set my head on the counter top and groaned. “Why do ya'll always have to torture me??”
“But baby, i thought you loved getting tortured! I mean that's why you end up up tied and gagged at our place right?”
I whacked Ten upside the head. “AGAIN THANK YOU FOR YOUR INPUT TEN. I don't need to be reminded about what we do.”
“Or maybe you do?” Yuta smirked. “Hows next friday sound?”
“Hmm, maybe not Friday. I think I want her on Thursday. What if you take her on Saturday?”
“I could do Saturday.”
“I'm so glad you both are taking what I want into consideration.” I said sarcastically. “Anyway, Thursday and Saturday is fine. Bring your best shit. We’ve got to start the year off right.” I slid off the bar stool, taking my drink with me and leaving both my doms behind. Playing hard to get and being a brat was my favorite past time with them. I didn’t even take a look back as I exited the apartment, though the temptation was definitely there.
Outside wasn’t much better. It was still hot as hell for the beginning of September and with so many people packed into a small space it made everything hotter. I could feel the sweat start to bead on my forehead. I fanned at my face wishing i had some ice in my solo cup. Across from the pool, I could see my one night stand Taeyong eyeing me though I tried my best to ignore his hungry stare. I also tried not to think about how he pressed me against the door of the empty student affairs office and fucked me so hard it had started to rattle. It wasn't bad at all. In fact it was incredibly hot but we just never talked about it after and I didn't crave him as much. It was a simple fling but maybe he didn't think of it that way. I had been mostly occupied with Ten, Yuta and Lucas for the rest of last semester anyway. Oh and that whole actually going to college thing.
I sunk back against the rough brick of the building, trying to ignore Taeyong and instead scanned the area to see if i could spot Lucas or Quinn. No luck with that.
“Did you come here by yourself?” I heard a quiet voice say beside me.
I looked over at the guy scrunched against the wall, who looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here. He was gorgeous to say the very least. His jawline was from the gods, his eyes were the most perfect almond shape, and his flaming red hair suited his golden skin so well. As soon as i saw his lips pressed against the rim of his cup i knew i wanted to kiss him. “H-huh?” was all i could really manage to say and i hoped to all hell he didn't notice me staring.
“Oh, sorry.” He spoke a little louder. “Did you come here by yourself? You looked like you were trying to get away from the party.”
“No, i'm not by myself but my friends ditched me. I can't find them. I also ran into some...uh...people i knew but i needed a break from socializing.”
“I'm the same, but...were kinda socializing now.” He smiled at me and my heart skipped a beat for a moment. He was definitely going to be my next mistake. I took a long slow sip of my drink before it finally clicked in my head that I should actually introduce myself.
“I'm um-” Shit, what was my name? “Eril- Eri. Just Eri.”
“I'm Taeil. I haven't seen you around before. You go to our college, right?”
“Yep, suffering and in debt like everyone else. Im in journalism so maybe it's because im stuck at the way back of campus with all the writing buildings that we haven’t seen each other before. It's basically a dungeon. I'm trapped.” I let out a bit of nervous laughter which he reciprocated. I figured he was the shy type and I had normally stayed away from those. Too many reminders that I was a shitty heartbreaker. But he was cute and I liked his smile. That was what usually got me in trouble anyway. Taeil was a breath away from responding when the sound of Lucas’ booming voice interrupted us.
“ERI!”
“There you are, you ass.” I was at least relieved that he had found me. “You guys left me all by myself like always. Where the hell is Quinn?” I turned back momentarily to Taeil. “Sorry, i'm babysitting him. He's like a lost puppy.”
Taeil replied with a strained smiled and tipped his cup all the way back. Before i could even say anything else Lucas was dragging me away, his big hand around my arm preventing me from even trying to escape. I looked back at Taeil longingly which he returned with a confused expression. I mouthed another apology to him, hoping that i could maybe resume our conversation later (and get his number). Lucas pushed me into a ring of people, two of which i'd never met before. They were all passing around a blunt, the air surrounding them so thick with smoke that it was almost burning my eyes. I coughed and looked up at Lucas. “Why'd you bring me here?”
He put his arm around me and lowered himself to my ear. “That's Johnny and Jaehyun. The hosts of that radio show you love so much.” He said the tail end of that sentence with such a teasing tone that i just knew Quinn had told him about what we did when we listened to their voices. But now that voice was in front of me and my worst nightmare had turned into the best wet dream. I thought Taeil had made my heart stop when I saw him but I was fucking deceased when I looked at Johnny. He was tall with shoulders like a goddamn linebacker. His biceps looked absolutely perfect to grab onto while he plowed into me. And though i wasn't much of a fan of smoking the way he exhaled from his full lips gave me goosebumps.
“Well, aren’t you going to talk to him?” Lucas smirked.
“And say what? Let me suck your dick?”
“I mean, it's what you want, isn’t it?”
“Shut up.” i said bitterly as I shifted my weight and stared into my mostly empty cup, trying my best not to drool over Johnny.
“Hey, i'm a good friend and I'm doing you a solid. You need to have some more fun. I mean with someone besides me. Though we can still do that later tonight, if you want.” He followed up his half assed flirtatious statement with a wink.
“For your information, Ten and Yuta are already lined up for next week. But i’m sure you'll come knocking on my door too.”
“Always. You still owe me and Quinn a threesome.”
“We'll see.” I shrugged and finally turned my eyes up. Johnny had been looking at me- or rather looking at my figure-his eyes mostly resting on my thighs. I adjusted the band of my thigh highs self consciously, wondering if he was thinking about my legs wrapped around him like i was. My teeth were starting to dig into my bottom lip as i tried to not focus on those thoughts. Our eyes met again and instead of saying anything he just offered the blunt to me, which i denied. He shrugged, and instead passed it over to Jaehyun who was more than happy to take another hit. Quinn was beside Jaehyun, seeming to already be plotting how to get Johnny's partner in crime into bed. I knew they would convince him soon enough and i'd have to find a way to get them out of his bed in time for us to leave. Lucas had resumed his nature as a social butterfly, ignoring me to settle into another conversation. Everyone had seemed to be paired off now except Johnny and I. He took a sip from the beer bottle in his hand, a quick flash of disappointment on his face as he realized it was empty.
“Fuck.” i saw him mouth. He looked over at me, leaning in close with his hand resting on my lower back. “Want another drink?” He said into my ear.
“N-no um...i'm good. Gotta drive back so...i'm trying to pace myself.”
“That fucking sucks. This is the first party of the year. You should be blackout drunk.”
“Yeah, i’m not a freshman anymore, so that's so not happening.” I chuckled.
“Come get another beer with me then?” he asked which i agreed to a little too eagerly.
He lead the way, wrapping his hand around mine so we wouldn't get separated from the constantly moving crowd. My hand seemed to disappear within his fingers which made me want to melt into a puddle. Big hands were an absolute weakness of mine. We flowed into the kitchen that was even more crowded now as someone had brought in a few more cases of beer and the last of the jungle juice was escaping the pitcher into used cups. Johnny reached into the fridge and got another bottle, pulling his keys out from the pocket of his basketball shorts and flicking the top off with the bottle opener keychain. We moved towards the back of the kitchen to have some room away from the crowd. He didn't say anything, just sipped his drink slowly as i watched his adam's apple bob with each swallow. A partygoer asked us to move so they could reach the trash can behind Johnny. When he complied I was suddenly between his 6 foot tall frame and the wall. His hand rested way above my head as he nodded towards the partygoer with a tight lipped smile. My fingers dug into my own cup, crushing the plastic ever so slightly as i looked up at him. I was rarely nervous to be around a guy no matter how much their smiles, sultry voices, or tall bodies affected me. I had to remind myself that men were toys to me, a way to feign confidence and still get what I wanted. No strings attached with the joy of playing hard to get and emotionally unavailable.
But Johnny was making me feel different and I hated it. I wanted to crush it like an empty beer can and toss it in the trash and never think about it again. Except now he was looking down at me and i couldn't help but notice how the fluorescent lighting of the kitchen caught his brown eyes and turned them into the color of warm honey. If i was a puddle before when he held my hand i was a river now creeping closer to being an ocean and losing a grip on myself.
“What's your name?” He spoke at last.
“Eri...just Eri. You're from the uh….radio show? Lucas told me about you. Well that you guys met…”
He shrugged. “Yeah, he's cool or whatever. He reminds me of how I used to be when I first started college. You friends with him or something?”
“To say the very least.” I laughed nervously and tucked a stray hair behind my ear. Johnny tipped his bottle over, spilling some of his beer into my empty cup.
“So you fuck him? He your boyfriend?”
“God no. I mean i do fuck him but he's not my boyfriend.” I took a sip of the beer, instantly regretting it. The disgusting bitterness reminded me of regurgitated piss in a bottle but my mind was making me keep up my aloof appearance and i forced myself to drink more.
“Cool…Thought i'd ask just in case.”
“Just in case?” I swallowed thickly, knowing exactly what he was insinuating.
“Mhm...just in case.” He lowered his head, reaching down to my level, and pressed our lips together. No other words exchanged, just the feeling of the soft skin on skin, melding together in a way that wasn't sloppy or rough but rather a slow and sensual torture. I wanted to push him away; i even pressed my hands against his chest but my body failed to do it. He stepped a bit closer, his bottle free hand coming to cup my chin as his tongue pushed past my lips. I resisted the urge to wrap my arms around his neck and instead kept my hands on his chest, feeling his muscles underneath his thin tank top. My nails dug into him slightly and i could feel the quietest of moans reverberate against my tongue. The way he overwhelmed my mouth had me being dragged back in, over and over, until i was breathless and lightheaded. When he finally parted from me, he stepped back as if nothing had happened. He resumed the need to quench his thirst, momentarily dragging his thumb over his lips and looking at it-presumably to check if i had left lipstick behind.
“What was that?” I asked, definitely confused about how he just kissed me and was acting like it didn't phase him at all while i was feeling like i was crashing down from cloud 9.
“What? Don't act like you've never made out with someone at a party before.” He said simply.
Of course I had, plenty of times but never with someone who's voice i had dreamt about for nights on end. Even though I had connected my fantasy to real life and he had kissed me, I still had to see him as just a voice. I had to keep him at a distance to avoid drowning in him. He also had solidified his stereotype of a party fuckboy only looking for one thing. I couldn't be too mad at him. My list of one night stands was ever growing as well but he was kinda being a douche about it. “I've done a lot of things at parties but-”
“Good, then you know how this goes.”
I wanted to deck him right in that perfect pouty mouth of his. And worst of all, it made me want to fuck him even more. My ability to respond was tossed aside as someone he knew came over and they exchanged loud greetings, slapping each others hands before caving into a ‘no homo' bro hug. His care for me seemed to have been thrown out, leaving me stuck in a corner. I quickly texted Quinn, hoping they weren't sucking face (or dick) as of yet and we could meet up. Johnny continued talking, his radio personality showing through more than when he was with me. I mulled over my next move- to ditch Johnny or wait until he was done talking to see if i could get another breathtaking kiss.
I gave my phone one last check to see if Quinn had responded before pushing myself off the wall and moving through the kitchen. My chest slightly brushed against him as i squeezed past. Taking a quick glance back, I caught him watching me from over his friend’s shoulder. I tossed my hair back and kept walking, smirking to myself a bit. He could chase after me if he wanted but i wasn’t going to wait. I made my way towards the sliding doors, ready to return outside when I was surprised to see another boy I knew. Luckily, he was one that I hadn't slept with. Instead, Doyoung was one of my good friends. Usually he was the one to reel me back in when I got lost in sex filled hazes and needed to concentrate on my life, my job, and school. Having me as a friend was never easy when you had to be the voice of reason. I had never actually seen him at a party let along drinking. I wanted desperately to go talk to him, especially since I hadn't seen him all summer, but he was sitting next to Jungwoo. I was too much of a coward to go down that road so I settled for a small wave, hoping that I might catch Doyoung’s attention instead. His big bunny eyes zeroed in on me and he waved frantically before making his way over.
“Eri! I missed you!” he said before squeezing me to his chest. I could feel the icy cold glass of his beer bottle between my shoulder blades as he held me.
“I did too but more importantly what are you doing drinking?”
He blushed and hid the bottle behind his back, feigning innocence. “Me? Drink? No way! This is uh...um...you know, soda.”
I poked his shoulder playfully. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. You're supposed to be the good one.”
He shrugged and stared down at his shoes. “This was the first time i was ever invited to a party so I thought i'd at least try it. Who did you come with?”
“Lucas and Quinn, the usual. I was babysitting them but Lucas is bouncing around and Quinn has their eyes set on Jaehyun.”
“Jaehyun? The guy from the radio show?”
I nodded.
“Ah...tell her to be careful with him. I've heard some stuff about him and Johnny.”
“Oh?” I raised a brow, my interest peaked. “Like…?”
“That they’re notorious for sleeping around.”
“I mean apparently me too. Have you seen who is at this party?” I laughed.
“Yeah but you don’t have that much under your belt. I’ve heard that they’re like in the 30s or higher for the number of people they’ve slept with. They're kinda gross.” Doyoung made a face of disgust before he took another sip of beer. “Just please tell Quinn to be careful. I don’t want her getting hurt.”
I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I wanted to hook up with Johnny. He would be even more worried and i needed to do my best to keep an eye out on him now that he was drinking. I couldn’t take care of three drunks all at once. I gave him another hug and sighed. “I promise i'll take care of them. And i need you to promise me you wont get too crazy with those beers.”
“You won’t see me passed out i swear! Anyway, come sit with us. We need to catch up.”
“Uh...Jungwoo's there. It's gonna be weird.” I said, nervously.
“No, no. It's totally fine. Besides Ten and Yuta are there too. Taeyong went to the bathroom for a sec. It'll be fine.”
He took my hand and lead me to the group that had taken over the sofa. Jungwoo left as soon as i sat down much to my dismay. I wasnt surprised though. Doyoung tried his best to make him stay but it didn’t help that Ten and Yuta started teasing me for being a heartbreaker. I rolled my eyes and hit them both while Doyoung tried to tell us to behave like he was our mom, making all of us laugh. Somehow hanging around the people I fucked made me feel better and less miserable at this party. It wasn’t so bad after that and our alcohol fueled antics lasted hours. It was full of flirting, a few neck kisses from Yuta, and cute smiles between me and Taeil once he joined our little group. Ten kept close to me, whispering about his plans for next Thursday. Every once in awhile i would catch Johnny circling around. He was keeping his distance from me but our eyes kept meeting every chance they got. He was making a show of wrapping random girls in his arms, smacking their asses, running his fingers through their hair or pulling them close for a kiss but never completing it. He was being a tease and i didnt know if it was solely for them or to be an asshole to me. We knew we had our eyes on each other. I had to admit the best part was having a bunch of guys lust over me while i pick and choose who i wanted for the evening. Johnny was still top tier in the back of my mind. Those basketball shorts barely left anything to the imagination and I was falling deeper into his thirst trap.
Around 3 am the party had died down leaving just a few of us behind. We had gathered by the pool this time, even though it was after the allowed hours, preferring the cool summer night breeze than the stuffy apartment. I sat on a lawn chair, my mind fuzzy and tingling with the small buzz I had going on. I had continued to down a few more ales, some bourbon, whiskey and 1 terrible harsh shot of vodka. Even though i knew i was going to feel like shit tomorrow and that i was supposed to be driving home, i couldn't help myself. For the moment i had forgotten about Johnny, especially since he was still dipping in and out of view. I had instead turned all my attention towards Taeil who was getting closer and closer to taking me home. His sweet demeanor was taking over and I loved the way his cheeks flushed and how his lips curled into a smile with every one of my coy laughs. He pushed his bright red hair back, pretending he wasn’t noticing how close i was getting to him. I listened intently to how Taeil was going to be a tutor for some core classes at the library and I made sure to put emphasis on the fact that i would be definitely needing his help sooner rather than later. His hand came to rest on my knee, slowly edging towards the band of my black thigh high. I joked about having a school fantasy and hoping he would punish me which sent his hand back to cover his face as he blushed harder. Oh, he was just too damn cute. I scooted the lawn chair closer and took his hands in mine, running my thumbs over his knuckles and wondering what his fingers would feel like down my throat.
“I mean, we dont exactly have to wait until next week. We could...have a little study session of our own tonight. I’m so terrible at math.” i giggled.
Taeil folded our fingers together and cocked his head to the side, leaning in just a bit. “Well i should probably tell you something first…”
“Tell me anything, Tae.” I closed my eyes and waited for his lips but instead i felt a harsh yank on the belt loop of my shorts. Taeil backed away again, releasing my hands instantly and looking up at the person behind me. I craned my head backwards to see Johnny looking down at me. He had yet another blunt in his hand, his eyes looking much redder than the last time I saw him.
“We're playing ‘Strip Never Have I Ever’. You want in?” He sniffed.
“What is ‘Strip Never Have I Ever?” Taeil questioned.
“Basically you say something promiscuous that you haven’t done and everyone who has done that thing takes off an article of clothing.” I explained.
“I think I should sit this one out. I'm not one for getting naked in front of strangers.”
“Come on Taeil. Dont you want to see her naked? Even just a little bit?” Johnny seemed to be glaring at Taeil now, a bit of tension rising between them.
Taeil scoffed. “I'm not like you Johnny. I’d rather take my time.”
“Still playing that innocent shit, huh?” Johnny took another toke, the fingers of his free hand still wrapped in my belt loop, pulling me back towards him.
“I have no idea what you're talking about.”
Johnny scoffed. “Of course you dont.” He rolled his eyes. “You never do.”
“Johnny, your jealous side is showing again.” Taeil set his chin on his hand, a smirk tweaking at the sides of his lips.
“So…are we gonna stop this pissing contest and play or…?” I said, a bit annoyed at their tense banter.
“Yeah, sure babe.” Johnny said as he finally broke the glaring contest between he and Taeil.
I removed Johnny's hands from my shorts and stood up, focusing my attention to the other man. “Would you mind getting me another beer and whatever else is laying around, please?”
He nodded and stood up, giving me a sweet kiss on the cheek. “Sure thing. Save me a spot by you. I'll play just because you are.” He headed back towards the sliding doors leading to the apartment leaving Johnny and I by ourselves.
“Dont let him fool you.” Johnny said once Taeil was out of ear shot.
“Oh he's fooling me? Funny. I kinda heard the same thing about you. It also just sounds like you might be jealous.” I crossed my arms under my chest, looking up at him.
“Jealous is hardly the right word. But if you want to be disappointed tonight then go with him.”
“You dont think i’d find you disappointing? Not even in the slightest?” I teased.
“I know you wouldn’t be. I’m not fooling you on anything. You can see for yourself later.” He grabbed a hold of my hip and pulled me closer to him.
“How many girls did you use that line on tonight? The blonde? Both the brunettes? The girl with the orange hair?”
“How many times did you let Yuta kiss your neck? Or let Ten almost try and choke you in front of everyone?”
“He wasn’t going to choke me...that time. But i guess you were watching me as much as i was watching you.” I said, knowing it was the truth.
“I just want to get you out them shorts is all. Who do you think suggested the game?” He winked at me before heading over to our circle of friends who were drunkenly calling out for us to join them. Taeil came back then with some beers and a cup of whatever he had concocted. Our spot was between Ten and Johnny but I had noticed Doyoung swaying while Yuta tried to steady him. I went over to them giving my sweet boy the once over.
“How many has he had? I asked.
“Literally like three beers. He’s such a lightweight.” Yuta teased.
I hit his shoulder gently. “Be nice. Doyoung, do you want to go home with me later? You can sleep on the couch.” I pet back his dark hair as he giggled.
“Im cool, im cool, im coooooolll. I got this!” Doyoung pawed at my hand, willing me away from him. “I'm not a baby, Eri!”
“I'm just worried about you is all. Don't get too crazy.”
“Let him be, you party pooper!” Quinn chimed in.
“You hush! You're already sloshed and I’m surprised you're not already naked.”
“Isn't that what this game is for?” They replied.
I sighed. “I guess I will have three babies to take home tonight.” I booped Quinn on their forehead gently before sitting back in my spot. “Who's starting first then?
“I'll do it!” Quinn offered. “Never have I ever been tied up.”
“Oh come on! Really?!” I said as Ten, Yuta, and I booed at them. Of course we were the easy targets with all the shit we had done together. I tossed off a sneaker while Ten went to take off his collar.
“Nah-uh. Jewelry doesn’t count. Clothes only.” Taeyong interjected.
“Damn, dont be so eager to see me naked.” Ten tossed off his black v-neck while Yuta kicked off a sandal.
Quinn nudged Doyoung signaling him to go but he had such a bad case of the drunken giggles it took him minutes to compose himself and think of something. I resisted the urge to facepalm as i watched him. “Doyoung, honey. Go lay down.” I pleaded.
“No! I got it! Never have i ever s-smoked weed!” He burst into another round of giggles before Jaehyun scoffed.
“That's fuckin’ wack! Here.” Jaehyun took the blunt out of Johnny’s hand and handed it over to Doyoung. “Inhale and hold it in for a bit.”
“No! No! Dont you dare!” I blocked Jaehyun from passing the blunt over. “Hes already drunk from a few beers. He's gonna lose it from one toke. Just take off your clothes so we can move onto Yuta.”
“You first.” He snapped back at me.
I stuck my tongue out at him. “It doesn’t apply to me, jackass.”
“Well maybe if you smoked a bit too then you wouldn’t be so bitchy. Let him have fun.”
“Why dont you fucking eat my ass, dipshit.”
“Wait no, can you please do that to me instead?” Quinn said suddenly.
“Will ya'll shut up and get back to the game? Doyoung’s smoking anyway.” Yuta snorted before falling into a laughing fit himself. While i had been fighting with Jaehyun, Doyoung had stolen the outstretched blunt and inhaled deeply. I could tell the moment he felt the burning in his chest. His eyes watered as he sputtered and coughed. Jaehyun cackled as he took the blunt back, getting in a hit of his own.
“You sure you don’t want any, goodie two shoes?” Jaehyun offered again.
“Id rather not.” I flicked his snapback off his head. “There. One article of clothing down. Yuta, please go before I strangle him.” I scooted back to my spot, a permanent pout on my face.
“You need to chill out.” Johnny whispered as he leaned in close to me. “You’re so tense. You know what would help with that?”
“Having my friend returned home safely and not passed out in his own-”
“Never have i ever had office sex!” Yuta exclaimed.
My mouth hung open, the rest of my statement dissipating in the air.
“Oohhh he got you and Taeyong!” Ten laughed. “Take it off, baby! Take it off!”
“Did you two really fuck in an office?” Jaehyun asked, staring at Taeyong and I. “Where even at?”
I chucked off my other shoe and grumbled as Taeyong pulled his shirt over his head. “Office of student affairs last semester.” he answered.
“Well damn, student affairs is right.” Johnny laughed.
I shrugged. “Shit goes down in offices and so does Taeyong.” There was a chorus of ‘ooohs’ as Taeyong gave me the finger.
“Fuck off. I made the door shake, didnt i?”
“It was up against the door??” Taeil asked, surprised.
Dammit, I really didn’t need him to hear my history now. Yuta was out to get me, Doyoung was already fucked up, Taeil was going to find out all the dirty things I’d done with almost everyone in this group and it was only the 4th round. Ten cleared his throat as I dodged Taeils question even though he was poking my side to tease me.
“Settle down children, settle down. I got a semi decent one. It’s easier to think about what i have done instead what i haven't. Anyway, never have I ever had like slow or sensual sex.”
“What!? That's a fuckin’ lie. Even i've done that. What about your first time?” Lucas interjected.
Ten shrugged. “Nope. Not really. I wasn’t nervous so we just kinda...did it. So, come on. Give something up.” Most everyone lost an article of clothing. I was curious to see that Taeil had only lost a shoe during the weed round but didnt remove anything else this time around, which meant he was either just as kinky as Ten or a complete virgin. I didn’t see him as the latter so my interest was extremely peaked at this point.
“Aren’t you going to take something off?” I asked him, returning his teasing notion.
“I don’t kiss and tell.” He winked at me and i couldn’t help but giggle as I felt the blush start to creep back into my cheeks. I tried to hide it by busying myself with trying to get one of my thigh highs off and deflect my infiltrating thoughts of a kinky Taeil when i felt Johnny's hand over mine.
“Leave those for last.”
“What for?” I asked, barely looking back at him.
He smirked and rubbed his thumb gently across my thigh. “I like them. They look good on you.”
“You're going to have to do some better convincing than that.”
Johnny grabbed the collar of his tank top and pulled it over his head leaving him bare chested and my mouth watering. I drank in each muscle he had on his torso, wanting to kiss every inch of him and follow that cute little happy trail to what was under his shorts. I was silently begging to get more rounds in as soon as possible.
“Convinced yet?” he asked, cockily..
I rolled my eyes, pretending that it was such a hassle for me to leave my socks for last. However, I stood up and undid the buttons of my high waisted shorts, shimmying them down my thighs before kicking them behind me. I adjusted my lacy black panties, feeling all eyes on me.
“Why is there even a bow on the back?” Taeyong asked.
“Because my ass is a present, thanks.”
“Gimmmeeeeee!” I heard Quinn say, making grabby hand motions at me.
“No, you get it tomorrow, if you're good!” I joked.
“You guys are gonna fuck?” Jaehyun asked, looking at Quinn curiously. “Can I watch?”
“Nope sorry, that is off limits. For my eyes only.” Lucas said, beckoning for Jae to share the blunt he was still working on. He passed it over to Lucas who took it graciously.
“What do you mean for your eyes only? Share the wealth.” Jae said.
“How about no one watches anything. We’re not a damn spectacle. What Quinn and I do is none of your business. ANYWAY, Taeil your turn. Please go. Please.”
“Shoot. Uh…” He looked around at all of us trying to think of a good statement. “Um...never have I ever had a one night stand?”
“Really??? That's literally like...my entire life.” Lucas laughed.
Johnny rolled his eyes. “Never had a one night stand...pfft okay.”
Taeil just laughed. “Dont be mad because you're losing, Johnny”
“Yeah me and practically everyone else.” Johnny tossed off his snapback while i realized i had to discard my shirt. Technically, i didn’t but i decided to appease Johnny a little bit longer and leave the thigh highs for last. I pulled my crop top over my head, revealing my bare chest (who had time for fucking bras anyway) before pulling my hair over my shoulders to have a little bit of coverage. Lucas whistled at me, giving me a wink which made me roll my eyes. Johnny licked his lips, a smile on his face while Taeil tried to sneak looks without being too obvious, which he was failing at. I hugged my knees to my chest and realized that it was actually my turn to go.
I had to think of something i had never done. Not that it specifically had to be something sexual, but that was definitely more fun than ‘Never have i ever been to Korea’. “Oh! I got it. Never have I ever eaten ass before.”
“Boo, you whore!” Ten said, taking off his fishnet shirt and tossing it at me. I caught it and laughed, knowing that we were still neck in neck in the race to lose first. Quinn, Ten, and almost surprisingly Yuta discarded another piece of clothing. Only a few more rounds and someone would be naked. Lucas was coming up quick, only having his underwear (presumably) and shorts on.
It was up to Johnny now. I looked over at him as he switched his preference to a cigarette. I definitely was wondering what he was going to say. He exhaled slowly before speaking. “Never have i ever done anal.”
“Wait, wait, wait,” Taeyong slurred a bit as he had been nursing his drink. “Giving or receiving?”
“Either or. Any anal at all.”
Quinn, Lucas, Ten, Yuta, and I pulled off yet another article of clothing. I wasn’t going to take off my underwear just yet so one thigh high came off. I set it in Johnny's lap, mouthing a fake apology coupled with a shrug. He tapped his ashes into an empty beer bottle and sighed. “Damn, was really hoping you'd take those panties off first.”
“Of course you were.” I snatched his cigarette from him and took a deep drag, frowning when i tasted the menthol. Ugh, fuckboys always smoked menthols. He let me keep it though, enjoying the disgusted face i made.
“Alright, Taeyong, Lucas is down to his undies. How are you gonna get him out of them?” Quinn asked as they leaned on Jaehyun's shoulder.
“Not that I want to see him naked but never have I ever had public sex.” He said.
“You fucked in an office!” Yuta protested.
“I meant like a park or parking lot or something!!”
“Well, there we go.” Lucas stood up and dropped his briefs before sprinting towards the pool, landing with a huge splash and getting water everywhere. “We better figure out who's runner up so I wont be in this pool by myself!”
“You're the idiot who jumped in there! Besides it's your turn!” Taeyong tossed a beer cap at Lucas who dodged it. I had to rid myself of the other thigh high for the public sex and i was definitely afraid of having to lose my underwear from what Lucas was going to say.
“Shit. Ok. Uh… got it! Never have i ever sucked dick before.”
Ten and I both collectively groaned as we were deemed the next losers. Johnny had the biggest smile plastered on, his eyes glued to me as i rested my hands on the waistband of my panties. I didn’t want to take them off and was hoping that everyone would magically forget that i had ever sucked their dicks before. Ten on the other hand was already tossing off his pants. Ten rarely wore underwear, if ever, so his pants were the last article of clothing he had on. Never ashamed of being naked, he joined Lucas in the chilly pool water.
“Eeeerrrriiiiii. Come on. Be a good girl and take them off!” Lucas teased.
“Shut up! Maybe i don't wanna!” i buried my face in my knees. I was already losing my buzzed feeling and embarrassment was taking over at the prospect of losing my last bit of clothing around 3 new people and my baby Doyoung.
“Dont be a wimp.” Johnny said as he dug his finger into the waistband of my panties and snapped it against my skin. “These definitely need to go.”
I didnt bother looking up, only swatted at his hand, trying to get him away from me. “Will you stop it!”
“Toss her in if she doesnt do it!” I heard Ten yell.
“What! Don't you dare!” I felt Johnny's strong arms wrap around my waist as he hauled me up easily. I kicked at him as i tried to cover my chest but he wasn't budging.
“One last chance, sweetness.” He said lowly against the sensitive skin of my neck. It was that voice...the one i listened to, the one i dreamt about, the one that turned me on in an instant. I shivered against him, suddenly taking in how warm he felt and the bulge in his boxer briefs pressing into the small of my back. I looked up at him, my breath a little heavier. There were plenty of chants and whistles especially since almost everyone was abandoning whatever they had left on and jumping in.
“Let me go! I have to check on Doyoung!” I half lied. I actually did want to check on him as he had curled up in a small ball and passed out.
“Dont worry. I'll take care of him. You two have fun.” Taeil said tensely as he hauled Doyoung to his feet.
“Oh we fuckin’ will. Bye Taeil.” Johnny smirked. I wanted to elbow Johnny for being a dick to Taeil. I tried to hit his chest but he just grabbed onto my boobs and squeezed them. I tried to pry his hands off me, telling him to let me go as Taeil passed us.
The redhead turned back to us. “Hey Eri.”
I looked up at him, mid-squirm. “Y-yeah?”
“Don’t forget to come to the library, ok? Ill give you a good lesson.” He winked at me before leaving the pool area with Doyoung stumbling beside him.
My mouth hung open momentarily but i was finally able to shove Johnny off me. I covered my chest and smiled at him. “Um, you bet...see ya.”
“Are you gonna get fucking naked or keep making kissy faces at Taeil all night?!” Ten yelled before splashing water at me.
“Ass!!” I screamed. Suddenly i felt a hand on my back and i was pushed in, sinking into the deeper part of the pool. My body struggled to accommodate my lack of height and inability to swim. Lucas scooped me up against him and i was grateful he stopped me from choking.
“I hate all of you.” I sputtered.
“We just love seeing you wet is all.” Ten chimed in sarcastically. I splashed water in his direction as Lucas still tried to hold me up. Ten stuck his tongue out at me. “Dont you have to go to the kiddie side of the pool?”
“Oh youre one to talk!” I said splashing at him again. “You little shit!”
“Why are you so angry all the time?” Taeyong said as he finally slid into the pool along with Jaehyun and Quinn.
“Dont you know, all she does is bite and scratch.” Yuta snorted.
“I haven’t had any complaints yet.” I shot back at him. “Lucas will you let me go? Im leaving you fuckers and going where i can’t drown.”
Lucas shrugged and let me waddle to the opposite end of the pool. I was hoping that my makeup wasn’t running down my face and making me look like a Dali painting. I was busy pressing my index finger to my lashes trying to make sure my mascara wouldn’t fall into my eye that i had hardly noticed that i couldn’t move any further. I was up against the side of the pool, a position i was apparently getting used to being in tonight with Johnny around. He had his hands on either side of me, that same smirk on his lips as he knew he had me right where he wanted. “You still haven’t taken off your panties.”
“Yeah well you haven’t taken your underwear off either!” I said looking down at his waist through the blue tinted water.
“I didnt lose. You did. And you have to play by the rules.”
“Hah. Playing by the rules didn’t get me where i am today.”
“Almost naked in a pool about to get fucked, you mean?”
“Precisely.” I replied, thrilled at his renewed interest. “But i'll give you the age old ultimatum. I'll show you mine if you show me yours.”
“Done.” He reached under the water and wiggled out of his boxer briefs, throwing them poolside. I swallowed hard, my head tilting to the side as i saw him. “Off. Now.” he commanded.
I stood frozen for a second still staring until i felt his hands on my hips pulling the soaked fabric down, not waiting for my go ahead. I kicked my legs out of my panties and he set them beside his. “There, now was that so hard?”
“No but Im sure you will be.”
“Halfway there.” His hands slid down the curve of my hips to cup my ass and pull me closer to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck, almost afraid that he was going to somehow launch me back underwater.
“I take it you're an ass man?”
“I'm an everything man. I don’t normally go for chicks that look like you but…” He licked his lips as he looked down at me flushed against his chest.
“Well don’t i feel special! I’m not the fuckboy's type but he still wants to fuck me. Oh me oh my!”
“Well compared to your track record over there.” Johnny nodded towards the band of idiots that i had all slept with. “I say i'm not your type either, Ms. Kink loving, anal-having, office sex wanting fuckgirl.”
“Did you take a look at Lucas? You're both big and tall with hands that could…” I refrained from saying what was on my mind.
“Hands that could what?” He tilted my chin up and traced the outline of my bottom lip with his tongue before giving me a chaste kiss. “That could finger you so deep and hard that you cum in minutes?”
“W-well i-”
He gave me another kiss, tugging my bottom lip between his teeth just a bit and sucking on it. “Or hands that could bruise your hips as i fuck you from behind?”
“You really think you're that good?” I panted as I managed to find my voice again.
“So i’ve been told but the dozens and dozens of chicks that have been in my bed.”
“Well you've never had me in your bed and to be honest i'm the only one that matters.”
“Damn. Where was that confidence when you needed to take off your panties, huh? Or do you just like to be a cocky little shit when you're about to get some?” Johnny said.
“Ask Ten. He'll tell you I can be a bit of brat when I want to be.”
Johnny chuckled. “I can definitely see that. Gonna have to find a way to occupy that mouth instead.”
“I can think of a few ways.” I pulled his head closer to mine and closed that minuscule distance between us again. I was eager to make him stop talking and instead focus everything he had on kissing me. He hoisted my leg around his waist, digging himself deep between my thighs. His hand then slid up my leg until it gripped my hip, guiding me to grind against him. Barely audible sighs of pleasure were exchanged between us. Every parting of our lips was a chance for our tongues to collide while every closing enacted bites and warm sucks. His other hand slid down my stomach to my parted thighs, his thick fingers caressing what i wanted him to touch the most.
The first finger was tentative, easing in with languid rubs and curling every time my breath would catch in my throat from his kiss. The smirk against my lips told me he was toying with me, wanting to draw out my torture for as long as possible. He pulled one last kiss before moving his attention to my neck. My forehead rested around his shoulder, my hands pressed between his shoulder blades. “You like this, dont you?”
“You’re hotter when you dont talk.”
“What?”
I looked up at him and pressed my finger to his lips. “Dont talk. Just keep fingering me.”
His tongue clicked against his cheek as he shook his head in disbelief. He didn’t stop his fingers though, instead he pressed another into me as his teeth sunk into the sensitive skin of my neck. My teeth bit down onto my bottom lip, shielding my moan from escaping. I rolled my hips deeper, wanting him to prove exactly how fast he could make me cum.
Suddenly a huge splash doused us, making Johnny pull away from me completely. “What the fuck!?” He yelled, wiping the water away from his face. Lucas had a giant grin on his face while Ten and Yuta were making fake orgasmic sounds and screaming “Yes daddy!”
“Are ya'll really about to fuck in this pool in front of us?!” Lucas laughed.
Crap. I had literally been so caught up in Johnny i totally had forgotten we were basically putting on a show. I shoved Johnny away and tried to cover myself knowing full well those three idiots would give me shit for it later. I tried to find an escape route but i realized my clothes were strewn about and there were no towels in sight. I would have to rush out naked and try and gather everything while the boys continued their bickering. I walked up the small ladder and out of the pool, hustling to gather my clothes and tiptoe through the grass, hating the way the blades were sticking to my feet and the dirt was becoming muddy from my dripping.
I went into the apartment, awkwardly standing around since i didn't know which room belonged to him. I needed a damn towel asap. A breeze was flowing through the open doors making the pool water turn icy on my skin. “Tell me again why you fuck those idiots?!” Johnny shouted as he came into the apartment.
I shrugged. “Same reason we were gonna hook up. I’m horny and you’re hot. But right now I’m freezing. Do you have a towel?”
“Yeah,” He rolled his eyes and headed over to the door on the left, kicking things out the way as we stepped through. “Come on.” I followed him into his room. There were clothes everywhere as well as old condom wrappers, fast food bags, and empty starbucks cups. I stared at the mess in disgust then up at him as he handed me a towel. “Did you get that from the floor?” i asked.
“You wanted one, didn’t you?”
I stared at him, squinting slightly. “Did you get this from the floor?”
“It was from behind my damn door, ok? You gonna dry off so we can fuck or what?””
I rolled my eyes and took the stupid towel, drying off as best as i could. My hair was a mess and I pulled it up into a bun, still feeling the pool water drip down my neck. Johnny tossed his own towel on the pile of dirty laundry after he dried off and stepped closer to me. “Now where were we?”
I sighed. “I actually should probably get going. It's getting late…”
“And?”
“And i'm tired. I'm gonna have to fish out Quinn and Lucas.”
He licked his lips and pushed his jet black hair back. “You literally were begging me to keep fingering you in my pool. You think i'm gonna let the boys you play with ruin the mood? Come here.”
“They don’t matter right now but I-”
His hands were on my hips then, lifting me up easily. My body instinctively wrapped my limbs around him, shocked senseless at his first move. My mouth was suddenly dry as we were now on the same level and his eyes met mine. I was trying to say something, anything at all, but i was sure my mouth was just doing the motions and making me look like a gaping fish. He carried me over to his bed laying me down and spreading my knees apart. “We were here, right?” He asked as he rubbed his fingers through my folds, making purposeful stops at my clit and rubbing the smallest of circles before diving his fingers back down again.
My eyes fluttered closed and I nodded my head. My hips followed each languid stroke, wanting him to touch every nerve i had. I could feel the droplets of water from his bangs splatter onto my stomach, the iciness making me twitch as my skin started to heat up. His lips kissed away the droplets, his tongue tracing intimate patterns into my skin. I felt a small bite right above my hip bone and I covered my mouth with the back of my hand, keeping my decibels down. His eyes flickered up towards me, an expression of curiosity within them.
“You’re quiet.” He stated, almost surprised. “Aren’t you going to start moaning?”
“You haven’t don’t enough to make me moan.” I fibbed. “Remember what i said before? You're hotter when you don’t talk.”
“Fine. Whatever.” He moved himself slowly up to meet my face as his fingers dug into me, a steady beat of push and pull while his thumb focused those teasing circles against my bundle of nerves again. “I just figured you’d start screaming my name sooner or later.”
“Ugh, no thank you. You still haven’t proved any-” The end of my sentence turned into a sharp inhale of breath as he curled his fingers against my walls, pressing into a spot i could rarely reach on my own.
“What was that?” he smirked.
I gripped onto his bicep, squeezing my eyes shut as I tried to match his motions. I rolled my body with each curl of his fingers, bounced my hips with each harsh thrust, and arched every time he would graze against that devilish spot. I could feel him watching me beneath him, my chest heaving as i desperately wanted to cum already. My tongue parted my lips, licking them slowly before i caved in and moaned. At this point I was still determined not to say his stupid name or beg for that matter but he sure as hell was making it hard. I dug my nails into his tender skin just as his knuckles hit my entrance, filling me completely with the thickness of his fingers.
“Damn…” I heard him whisper amidst my whimpers and the sounds of him working through my slickness. His lips brushed against my ear, his warm breath tickling my lobe as that deep, silky smooth voice left him. “You're gonna look so good wrapped around me.”
That was the cheesiest and wackest line I had ever heard but that voice made my entire face flush and my body clamp down on him tight. That stupid voice. I hated what it did to me. I hated that it sent my mind reeling back to all the nights I had masturbated to it over the radio. I tried to protest but no words were coming out. He was working himself faster now, a rough cycle of ‘come here’ motions and thrusts that had me helpless. I arched my hips again, my toes digging into his calves as i was ready to fall into my orgasm. Then he pulled his fingers out, wiping them on the sheets, and leaving me out in the cold. He got up from the bed and went over to his dresser, rifling through his top drawer.
I glared at him, a rough and annoyed breath slipping out. Did he really just leave me hanging like that? I sat up on my elbows, seeing a flash of gold in his fist. “First of all, fuck you. Second of all, why did you stop, you shitty tease?”
“I had to get a condom? Im not gonna fuck you without one.” He tore open the package and slid the rubber on before making his way back to me. He was ready to resume his place above me but my heart leapt into my throat as I saw him fully.
“WHOA! PAUSE! PAUSE!” I exclaimed, outstretching my hands to keep a bit of distance between us. “Why didn't you tell me you had….all of that!?”
He shrugged simply. “It was kinda cold in the pool. Does it matter?”
“Yes it matters! That’s...!” I covered my face as I flopped back onto the mattress, trying to convince myself that it wasn’t going to be so bad. So far Lucas had been the biggest I had ever had and he was mostly length. Johnny was on a different level and i was convinced i was going to die from him scrambling my insides. I felt him ease my face back towards his before pulling my hands away.
“Chill. Im not gonna barge in there. I have done this a few times before, you know.” His eyes raked over my body as he licked his lips. “Just relax for me, baby. I swear i'll treat you right.”
I almost gagged as his tired old lines. “Yeah that's easy for you to say. You're not the one about to have your guts in your throat.”
“Jesus, if you want to puss out on me just tell me so I don’t have to waste my time anymore. I could’ve had someone else here instead.” He rolled his eyes.
“Yeah, i doubt it with the way you were begging me to keep my thigh highs on and sit by you.” I sighed softly. “Just….go slow. Or else i'll hit you.”
“If you do i'll kick your ass out. I dont care.”
I pouted and looked away, my cheeks still warm. “Fine….sorry.”
It was his turn to sigh before pressing his lips to mine way softer than he had before. The tip of his cock was already trying to sink into me and i forced my body to relax as much as possible. I focused on his lips, the way he felt against me, his hands rubbing up and down my hips and thighs, and the soft groans he was slipping into my mouth. He would stop every so often when i would wince or become too tight for him.
I adjusted myself beneath him, trying to gauge how much he had left until he was almost completely inside me. We avoided eye contact this time though his thumb was making lazy swipes on my hip. I did appreciate that he wasn’t so much of an asshole and took his time with me. It was actually pretty...cute. I wanted him to feel good, for us to feel good, while he fucked me. Feeling him already so warm and stretching me to my limits was starting to make me squirm in anticipation.
Minutes went by as he alternated between minuscule thrusts and sucks to all my erogenous zones, trying to turn me on more to pull my wetness around him. Eventually his thrusts became more fluid and less overwhelming as I finally adjusted. I pulled his head closer, licking his lips slowly before giving him a firm chaste kiss. “I want you to fuck me, ok?”
He nodded quickly, switching his tactics instantly. He took control of my mouth again, commanding my tongue as he pulled his hips back slowly. The returning thrust was a harsh snap and it made me sink my nails deeper into his flesh. He paused again, gauging if it was too much for me to handle. I shook my head and breathed out a shaky ‘dont stop’. He gripped the edge of the mattress just above my head, using it as leverage to work himself into a faster tempo. The pain was underlying the pleasure still but i didn't mind it at all now. I was faltering back against him, a cadence of mewls and strangled breaths tumbling from my lips. His teeth found my neck once more, nipping at the weak spot just beneath my jawbone. I slid my fingers up the length of his broad shoulders and neck to the soft fuzziness of his undercut before grabbing a hold of his longer tresses and pulling.
“Bite harder. I'm not fragile.”
“Oh now you're tough shit, hmm?” he chuckled before yanking my hand from his hair. “You sure you don’t want me to keep going slow? Those sounds you make are pretty cute.”
“I’m positive, asshole. And i wasn’t making any sounds. It was just breathing or whatever. Shut up.”
“Get on your stomach then. And don’t give me any complaints either.”
I swallowed hard, staring up into the dark pools of his eyes and trying to register a command I wasn’t prepared for. When i didn’t move fast enough he forced my hips down, my stomach meeting the mattress for a microsecond before I was pulled onto my knees. My thighs rested on the outside of his, my small legs struggling to accommodate fitting him between me. His hands made my wrists disappear in his grip and kept me pinned down firmly. The breath felt like it was getting knocked out of me as his thrusts were painting vivid stories of pleasure throughout my entire being. My skin was blooming with sinfully hard bites on my shoulders. A low short growl rumbled against my skin and for the first time i whimpered his name, wanting it to be the only thing that ran through my mind.
His name on my tongue only spurred him on further. His blunt nails made crescent marks on the underside of my wrist as my veins pulsated against the tender skin. He moved one of them from beside my head, guiding my hand down to the incredibly pleasure filled center he was invading. His finger tips folded over mine, leading me to resume the attention to my clit that I so desperately needed. My face pressed into the mattress as I wanted to muffle the acute sobs building in my throat. My idle hand bunched the fitted sheet in my fist tugging it from the corners of the bed. “Please...” The word escaped before I could even think to stop it.
“Please what?” He teased, that sultry voice making my entire body shudder. Of course he was one of those guys that got off on making me say what i wanted and inflating his ego. I pushed my face into the mattress deeper, not wanting him to see the begging look on my face. Johnny let out a stiff grunt before he pressed his hand into my spine, making my back bow more. His other hand tore my hips higher, the tips of his fingers finding the dip in my hip bone that never failed to make me squirm. My thighs quivered as he pushed into it more, the V of his waist hitting my ass repeatedly. My teeth grabbed at my lip again as my toes tried to steady my weakening form. I tensed, clenching around his thickness as the head of his cock tormented the deepest part of me. I felt him shudder, a strained groan coming from him.
“F-fuck...babe. Relax for me.”
Easy for you to say. I thought. You’re not the one getting railed in half.
He pressed harder into me, if that was even possible. Every ridge, every vein, riding against me. Little by little, he eased his hand from my hip to rest on my shoulder dangerously close to my neck. He was trying to steady himself, to reel back his control and resist the urge to cum just yet. He cursed under his breath as his panting was getting heavier. I tilted my head towards my shoulder, trying to urge him to grab my throat. Choking always got me closer to cumming faster than most things but he pulled away his hand quickly as if i had burned him. I looked back at him momentarily, about ready to ask if he would just do it but i saw the way his lip was caught between his perfect teeth, his eyes closed shut, eyelashes dusting the tops of his cheeks. It turned my stomach into a gooey mess of emotions especially after he let out a deeper groan, his chest tensing just a bit as his brows furrowed. “Johnny...”
He nodded, letting out a simple ‘mhm’ before pulling me up to his chest. He forced my head towards his, engulfing my mouth in a rushed heated kiss while both our hands melded together once more between my folds. I reached my other hand back to cup his head, twisting my fingers in his hair again. Our fingers were working faster together against my clit as he rolled his hips up into me, making us both teeter on the edge. He swallowed hard, pressing his forehead against mine as i felt him throb inside me. A warm feeling filled my stomach, making me shudder and whine as i followed his orgasm. I slumped back against him as i tried to regain my breath and stop my legs from quivering. I was definitely going to feel that tomorrow.
Only a few sparse moment passed before Johnny cleared his throat.“So…You good to leave?”
I blinked a few times in disbelief. I rarely stood over with one night stands but we had barely just finished and already he was kicking me out? My entire demeanor changed. “Yeah, I’m fucking good to leave. Just give me a sec, damn.” i hissed.
He pulled out of me slowly, leaving me to collapse onto his mattress. I heard him rummaging around his room, the flick of a lighter going off at some point. I was curled up on my side, my body betraying my will to move and not give him the satisfaction of kicking me out. I was trying my best to get but my eyes were fluttering closed. Johnny tapped my ass before shaking me by my hip.
“Up. Now.” He yawned deeply before crawling into bed. “You’re not staying here.”
“I know jackass.” I said, following up with a yawn of my own. “Two seconds though.”
“Two seconds.” He closed his eyes and folded his arm across them, settling beside me. I was getting up. Right now.
--
“Fuck!” I gasped as i shot up from my sleep. I had felt a shift in the bed beside me as Johnny had rolled onto his side. I realized that i had fallen asleep at his place. Shitshitshitshitshit. I wasn't supposed to stay here. I was supposed to get up after a few seconds, leave, pretend that i didn’t just have the hottest sex of my life and that i totally didnt want him again. Now my plan was ruined because it was probably around 6 am when we were done. I barely got any sleep and time was starting to feel like a joke that made me more disoriented. I looked at the wad of my clothes on the floor and slipped out of bed, hissing as my stomach clenched in pain. Great. Just great. I scrambled over to my clothes and pulled on my shorts and top, not even bothering with my socks. i stuffed my feet into my sneakers and hobbled into the living room.
Luckily, I found Lucas facedown on the couch. He had managed to pull his shorts on at least after the escapade in the pool. Quinn was curled up on top of him, still mostly naked. I rushed over, shaking them violently awake. “Let's go, let's go, let's go!” i whispered harshly.
Quinn woke up first. It looked like they hadn't been asleep for long. “Finally! I was waiting for you! You made me sleep over and i NEVER sleep over.”
“I’m sorry! I accidentally passed out. Trust me I didn’t want to sleep here either but Johnny wore me out. It took forever to get him mostly all the way in.”
“Well damn...how big was he?”
“Magnum size big. Lets go.”
Quinn clutched at their chest. “Ohh girl...that's a journey.”
“I know. Will you come on?! I don't want to be here any longer than you do.” I slapped Lucas on the back, watching as his head popped up.
“H-huh?”
“Get up. We're leaving.” He rolled over as Quinn jumped off him and started putting on their clothes.
“What time is it? I feel like shit.”
“Doesn’t matter. Up. Get your shoes on.” I sighed. It was like corralling toddlers.
Lucas was finally able to get up and i practically pushed the both of them out the door. Lucas was able to find a few more of his clothes over by the pool as we shuffled along, making our way slowly to my car. I needed to sleep for 80 years and hoped to god i would be able to walk normally later.
--
The Boys Group Chat
Johnny: whaddup
Johnny: i lowkey only remember like half of last night lol
Yuta: fuckin mood
Yuta: we got naked in the pool didnt we?
Taeil: yall did. I didnt. I took care of DY. He was passed tf out
Johnny: aww damn does that mean you didnt get to see me fuck that girl you wanted
Taeil: I saw you acting like a damn fool. I’m not too worried anyway. Im gonna tutor her soon enough👅
Ten: and use that tired ass ‘im a virgin line’? Lmao
Taeil: listen it gets me more pussy than you will ever know. Chicks dig that sensitive innocent guy shit. The library is my sanctuary
Ten: one day somebody is gonna call you out on that whack ass shit or find out that youre always lying about being a virgin
Jae: what you gonna do then? Youre gonna have to find some other shit to lie about lol
Taeil: no ones gonna find out. Shut up. It works every year
Yuta: im surprise u havent lost ur damn job yet tbh
Taeil: what can i say im good at what i do
Johnny: anyway wtf was that chicks name that i hooked up with? I cant remember
Ten: johnny ur a damn idiot
Johnny: what?????
Yuta: ur kinda going down a dark hole so good luck with that
Taeil: she doesnt seem that bad
Yuta: LMAO
Ten: 😂😂😂😂
Johnny: whats wrong with her? She postal or something? Aint u two fuckin her too???
Ten: well yeah but she’s a handful
Yuta: to say the very LEAST
Taeil: ok we get it. Shes kinky and has poor lapses in judgement to hook up with you guys over and over
Ten: im sure you’ll find out soon enough. Shes something alright
Johnny: what do you mean? Shes not gonna like key my car or something right? I dont have time for that shit again tbh.
Jae: i havent talked to the girl I fucked about her much but like i can probs get u her snap. Or ask lucas. I think hes up her ass too
Johnny: who hasnt she slept with???
Taeyong: oh are we talking about who i think we are?
Yuta: way to come in late lmao but ya
Taeyong: oh shit lol. i mean we went over this during truth or dare.
Taeil: you mean never have i ever
Taeyong: same shit. anyway out of all of us she hasn’t touched taeil (yet), Dy or Jae….well Jae might be in waiting
Jae: fuck no. Not my type at all. she seems too damn mouthy
Ten: i mean once you gag her shes fine lmaoooooo
Johnny: yeah she kept telling me to shut up
Johnny: and she barely like….screamed or moaned or anything
Johnny: it was all these tiny little sounds
Taeil: maybe you didnt give it to her good enough
Taeyong: no. Thats literally her. I was fuckin destroying her hips against the door and she barely made a peep. Idfk whats wrong with her
Yuta: i think shes made the most noise with me and thats probably because i work her hard enough but even then i cant get a scream out
Jae: meanwhile the chick i slept with wouldnt fuckin stop making noise.
Johnny: jae your ass is loud too. sounding like a monkey thats out of breath
Taeil: fuck🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Ten: lmaooooooo
Yuta: get WRECKT
Jae: fuck all of you
Jae: forreal
Jae: i cant stand yall
Jae: anyway maybe its good that shes quiet all you fucking get are screamers anyway
Johnny: i know! Especially that one chinese chick i hooked up like last semester. Jfc she wouldnt stop.
Johnny: Idk i didnt mind her not saying much i guess but it was just weird to me
Jae: bro u barely make any sounds either. All i be hearing are your girls
Johnny: 🤷♂️🤷♂️🤷♂️🤷♂️
Johnny: anyway wtf is her name lol
Ten: Eri you idiot
Yuta: just Eri lol Thats what she always says
Johnny: whats her @ on snap?
Yuta: fuck
Yuta: hold on
Taeyong: its mistresseri13
Jae: LMAO
Taeyong: 🤷♂️🤷♂️
Yuta: the bigger point is johnny fuckin suh KING of one night stands is whipped for a girl and actually wants to talk to her again
Ten: oooohhhhh true. U never hook up with the same person twice
Taeyong: i mean shes good but you really want to hook up with her again?
Yuta: ty uve been tryna hook up with her since the office thing dont lie.
Taeyong: stfu
Taeil: lmao. So now johnny's whipped for her. she must be good in the sack then
Ten: mostly shes just nice to play with. U can do almost anything with her
Lucas: why are yall blowing up my fuckin phoneeeeeeeee!!!!! im tryin to sleep
Jae: bro its like 4 in the afternoon
Lucas: yeah and? Im hungover af
Yuta: are u at the dorm?
Lucas: no. Babes making me pancakes
Taeil: babe? Babe who??? Who the hell did you get to actually cook for you?
(Downloading picture)
Taeil: is that Eri in the kitchen? in her underwear?
Johnny: excuse me
Jae: HAH
Ten: oohhh now johnnys gonna be jealous
Johnny: Shut it ten.
(Downloading picture)
Lucas: I get morning kisses too lmao
Yuta: are we sharing pics of her now bc ive got plenty.
Lucas: shes still my friend tho. Dont do that.
Ten: not like we all havent seen it before tbh
Jae: i mean i kinda wanna keep it that way. You can have her.
Taeyong: spoiler alert dumbass, we've all slept with Quinn too. You aint special. Shes literally at my place rn
Taeil: oh fuck is that what you've been doing?
Taeyong: lmaooo yeah. Working on a “project”
Taeil: thats what i kept hearing. Im leaving.
Taeyong: shes heading out now actually. Going back to her place. Jae ill tell her you said hi
Lucas: i guess johnnys not the only one whos jealous
Johnny: im not fuckin jealous. Im not even gonna snap her
Ten: uh huh
Yuta: yep sure
Taeil: yeah right
Lucas: well i gotta go eat pancakes and maybe eat something else later👅👅👅👅💦💦💦
Johnny: ew
Taeyong: thats probably why she'll ignore your ass lol
Ten: get that tongue in j-suh or else she wont ever text you back
#johnny smut#Johnny Fanfic#johnny suh#johnny seo#nct smut#nct fanfiction#nct fanfic#nct#johnny suh smut#johnny seo smut#johnny fanfiction
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Guide To Writing Historical Fiction
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Finding Credible Sources
This can be a major struggle, especially for those who don’t possess a lot of skill in writing research papers or writing informative works. I could write an entire article on this subject alone, but instead I’ve decided to link a few helpful articles that can help you identify credible sources. A good rule of thumb is to pay attention to how recent the information is, who wrote it (what are their credentials), and who/which organization published the information. If you’re unsure of whether one or all of these things indicates a lack of credibility, cross-reference against other material, and always keep the list of sources you’ve used handy for future reference.
Familiarity vs. Accuracy
The ultimate goal of writing historical fiction is creating an immersive experience for the reader, which takes place during a period in time they didn’t live through, or in a location they didn’t experience during that time. It’s about immersion, and it’s important that you don’t sacrifice that experience in an effort to make the material as factual as possible. You are an artist, and you have the room to pick and choose where accuracy is necessary, and where familiarity can supplement it.
Write For Your Reader
When choosing which information to include in your writing, you need to keep the reader at the forefront of your mind. What do they need to know? What can be omitted in the interest of individual interpretation? Where does specificity take away from the excitement of a moment in the story. There should never be a scene that is completely focused on unpacking the research you’ve done on the time period. You do the research and learn the information to aide in your ability to tell an immersive story, and you edit include information sporadicly with the intention of keeping the worldly aspects fresh in their mind. Each piece of information is a reminder to the reader’s imagination of where and when they are. It’s not about teaching them anything. That’s why it’s fiction.
Authenticity vs. Accessibility
A lot of historical fiction works become problematic when the author prioritizes factual accuracy over accessibility to the everyday reader. The majority of readers come for the taste of another time or another culture, or both. If they wanted to read a history paper, they would. If they wanted to read a 120 page report on 16th century Japan, they would. Keep this in mind. Accessibility is a deal breaker for most readers. If they can’t see the story through the information, they’ll put your story down, because they want what’s been advertised.
Differentiating Between Classes
Class is one of those things that, when imagining what it’s like to research for historical fiction, you forget to consider. In most cases, the experience of lower classes or the middle class were not documented or recorded in the past because it wasn’t considered worth remembering. Be mindful of who your characters are, because if you’re writing about a time period that predates modern methods of recording life and events, you may struggle to find information on anyone other than royalty and the general upper-class.
Common Struggles
~ Being a detail-oriented writer who struggles with efficiency… Here’s the thing. Write down the questions you come up with while writing, put a signifier in your draft, and then move on. Continue writing, because in all reality, it’s not worth your time to squeeze all of that minuscule detail into a first or second draft. Get the actual story done with a solid foundation of information about the relevant subjects, and then when you’re confident in your current draft, move onto the little things.
~ How far should I go when taking artistic liberties?… Make the time period and the location familiar and make the characters fit logically into it. Beyond that, nitpicking is not your responsibility. It’s historical fiction. Unless you’re wildly misrepresenting a serious issue or an important detail, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t take liberties where you see fit. It’s one thing to decide tomatoes did exist in Italy during the 14th century and another to erase a minority struggle in your historical fiction story. It’s fairly simple.
~ Speech patterns and vernacular of different time periods… Speech patterns are difficult to smoothly incorporate into text anyhow, but if it’s relevant to your plot, there are a lot of resources on speech during different time periods and the dialects in various areas of the world. The vernacular of languages are more important to research, especially for dialogue, but this is also something you can hire an specialized editor to work with you on. I would use texts of the time period as a jumping-off point, translated into their original version but in whatever language you speak, and then compare patterns you see between them.
~ Portraying historical figures… This is subjective, and whether the figure is dead or alive is also important to consider. Unless they’re an integral character in your story, my best advice would be to portray them with the enduring attitude of the majority, such as neutrality for a figure like John F. Kennedy, or negativity for figures like Adolf Hitler. This is highly subjective to your story and their role in it.
~ Depicting more recent time periods… If you have no experience with that time period and the events within it, and you have the option of asking someone you know, I recommend doing so. However, take bias and perspective into account when incorporating the information you glean into your story. Try to depict them with more nostalgia than stereotype.
Other Resources
Resources For Writing Royalty
Commentary on Social Issues In Writing
Describing Setting
Resources For Worldbuilding
Resources For Describing Physical Things
Things To Know About Your Real-Life Setting
Guide To Political World Building
Tips on Introducing Political Backstory
Resources For Writing (Global) Period Pieces : High Middle Ages & Renaissance
Resources For Writing (Global) Period Pieces : 1600s
Resources For Writing (Global) Period Pieces : 1700s
Resources For Writing (Global) Period Pieces : 1800s
Resources For Writing (Global) Period Pieces : 1900-1939
Resources For Writing (Global) Period Pieces : 1940-1969
Resources For Writing (Global) Period Pieces : 1970-1999
Writing Other Eras
World Building In Historical Fiction
Historically Accurate Dialogue
Accuracy vs Relatability
Guide To Writing Historical Fiction
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Masterlist | WIP Blog
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